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Aug. 12, 2022 - Jimmy Dore Show
59:48
20220812_TJDS_20220812_Podcast_-_81122_9.16_PM
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Hey, we're doing live stand-up comedy coming to your town, Tulsa, Oklahoma City, Detroit, Rochester.
Go to JimmyDoorComedy.com for a link for all the tickets for all our dates.
See you in Denver, too.
*Bell rings*
Hello, this is Jimmy.
Who's this?
Hello, Jimmy Door.
This is Kevin Spacey.
Oh, hello, disgraced actor, Kevin Spacey.
It's good to hear from you.
That is correct.
And how are you doing?
How is that whole thing that you do?
Whatever it is, how is that?
Well, it's going quite well.
Thanks for asking.
How are you doing?
I've seen better days, to be honest with you.
Oh, really?
Yes.
A Los Angeles Superior Court judge just ordered me to pay $31 million in restitution to the production company behind House of Cards, my former show on Netflix.
A single judge decided this.
I did not get to be adjudicated by a jury of my peers because they couldn't find 12 of my peers.
All right, I see.
$31 million.
That is absolutely outrageous.
An injustice.
Are you going to pay it?
Are you out of your mind?
Of course not.
I'll take this all the way to the Supreme Court if I have to.
The UN.
First of all, I don't have that kind of money just lying around that they know of.
And even if I did, I wouldn't pay a dime of it to these scumbags.
Is that so?
Yes, that is so.
Let's look at the facts of the case.
I didn't quit or violate a contract.
They fired me.
That's right.
And then they had the audacity to produce a sixth season of House of Cards without me, the star of the show.
Real smart, gentlemen.
You think Robin Wright Penn can carry the entire season of prestige television on her own?
Sorry, honey.
Princess Bride was a long time ago.
Ow.
Put on a band-aid.
It's about to get worse.
So, of course, the season tanked and they lost money.
And that is my fault.
How exactly?
Please explain that to me.
How I'm liable for their boneheaded decision.
The dumbest decision in Netflix history.
Explain it.
Pull out a dry erase board and start writing down equations and shit and explain this to me.
But they did.
But why did they fire you, though?
Because they're stupid.
What was the reason they gave?
I don't know.
Yes, you do, Kevin Spacey.
I guess it was something about allegations.
What kind of allegations?
The sexual kind.
What other kind is there?
You never hear about allegations of gardening misconduct.
Get real.
Grow up.
Well, then that is bad.
You could get fired for that sort of thing, no matter who you are.
Oh, please spare me.
I hit on men.
Big deal.
I guess men can be sexually harassed, too.
Wait, what, what?
I said men can be sexually harassed, too.
No one really thinks that.
Come on.
I grab men's butts.
Get over it.
If I'm not supposed to grab men's butts, then why are they shaped like that and why are they near me?
That's not appropriate behavior.
If I do it, it is.
I'm Kevin Spacey, goddammit.
One of the best stage and screen actors in the world.
It's not like you got groped by a community theater director in South Bend, Indiana.
That's no excuse for sexual assault, though.
Oh, is that what we're calling it now?
I guess unwanted sexual touching of any kind is sexual assault.
Okay, you just made it weird.
No.
No, I think you did by assaulting the co-worker sexually.
Get over it.
Mr. Spacey, it is baffling by how much you refuse to take all of this seriously.
You're facing criminal trials in London for three counts of sexual assault between 2005 and 2013.
Well, what was going on back then?
It's okay for the U.S. to invade Iraq, but not for me to invade a Zach invoking the Iraq war and using bad puns don't make you look any better right now.
Oh, no, now I look bad.
Horrors.
Whatever shall I do?
No one will hire me and I owe $31 million to bird-brained Dimwits.
But now I look bad.
Please help me, Jimmy Dorr.
Whatever shall I do?
Well, maybe start taking some of this stuff seriously and show a little contrition.
For harassing men, never.
No apologies.
Women who have been sexually harassed by men see me as a Robin Hood type, returning to favor on their behalf.
Hey, has any woman ever actually said that to you, though?
No, but I can feel it.
I see.
In fact, that's how I'll stage my comeback.
Me being canceled is just Hollywood sexism on display.
It's because my victims are men.
Harvey Weinstein did a million times worse for years before he was called to account.
I slap a male buttock here and there.
Then suddenly I'm a show business pariah, 30 mil in the hole, and set to be tried in London for violating some stupid Victorian politeness laws by people in powdered wigs.
This is misogyny.
I really think that argument's a stretch.
You bet your ass it is.
And I'm such a good actor that I will make it make sense to people.
You wouldn't believe the wild things I've managed to get people to agree to.
Well, you're not fooling me, pal.
Luckily, I don't have to fool you or any man.
I just have to fool all women like shooting fish in a barrel.
Wow.
By claiming to fight misogyny, you are even exposing your own sexism.
Amazing.
Thank you.
I have more tricks up my sleeve.
You just wait and see.
You haven't seen The Last of Old K-Space.
My comeback is imminent.
I'm in talks for a small role in the upcoming Liam Neeson action movie, Tusk Breaker 2, Rise of the Mastodon.
You're delusional.
There was never even a Tuskbreaker 1.
Well, they'll have to make it after they see how good I am in two.
And from there, I'll inevitably be cast as a Marvel villain for Phase 9.
Dr. Hands or something, just grabbing butts all over the galaxy.
I've had my eye on you for quite some time, Star Lord.
Anyway, have to go.
It's 3 p.m.
Have to go have an argument with my microwave.
Later, losers.
David Spacey.
David Spacey.
I'm here with Jackson Hinkle from The Dive, the most censored man on YouTube, along with Americans comedian Kurt Metzger.
And we're talking about Roger Waters gave a dressing down to a CNN Shmirkanish.
But I want to remind you that we've been fomenting war in Ukraine for a long time.
This is from 2020.
This is Adam Schiff.
You know him, the big Democratic blah, blah, blah.
Well, I hope he mentioned Schiff phase.
He aids Ukraine and her people so that we can fight Russia over there and we don't have to fight Russia here.
So he's bragging that they're sending arms and money to the Nazis in Ukraine so they can bomb the Russians in Donbass.
So he's bragging that they're funding one side of a civil war in Ukraine.
That's what he's doing.
And what he's saying is this: the United States aids Ukraine and her people so that we can fight Russia over there and we don't have to fight Russia here.
Why would we ever have to fight Russia over here, Adam?
If we were ever fighting Russia over here, that would mean we would be in a nuclear holocaust.
So are you preventing a nuclear holocaust, Adam, by sending weapons to Ukraine?
Is that what you're saying?
It's counterintuitive.
That's what I'm saying.
Is it like how we said Nancy Pelosi to fight China over there to prevent a nuclear war?
Well, it worked, didn't it?
Kurt, Kurt, the way you prevent a war is to provoke war as much as possible.
Yeah.
And you know that you'd know that if you would stop doing your own research.
I stopped.
I told you.
I stopped it a long time ago.
So Roger Waters from Pink Floyd sat down with Michael Smirkanish, who's a tool of the military-industrial complex on CNN, and he pretends he's right down the middle.
I know comedians who I like and respect say, I like that Michael Smirkanish.
He's not left or right.
He just gives you the straight facts.
Well, we're going to show you Michael Smirkanis, who's a propagandist.
You can't get a job on CNN unless you're a propagandist.
Am I right or wrong that Smirkanish sounds like some sort of leftover discharge from the Door Anal Festival?
I got some Smirkanish on the walls.
I got an aftermath.
I got monkeypox from my Smirkanish that got smeared on me.
You got to clean off Smirkanish immediately.
Yeah, you got to immediately take your clothes off, get all the Smirkanish off all your orifices.
So watch this.
Well, he's fueling the fire in the Ukraine for a start.
That is a huge crime.
Why weren't the United States of America?
So he says that the United States, the West, NATO, they're fueling this fire, this war in Ukraine, which we are.
Okay, now go back and watch our other videos.
We started this war in Ukraine.
What do you mean we?
I mean, the West, the United States, and NATO.
And we knew this.
We wanted this to happen.
Okay.
And he knows that.
You know who's pretending not to know it?
The douchebag host on CNN.
Watch this.
Courage Zelensky, the president, to negotiate, obviating the need for this horrific, horrendous war.
That's killing.
We don't know how many of you are.
But you're blaming the party that got invaded.
Come on, you've got it reversed.
Well, that's you.
You know, any war, when did it start?
What you need to do is look at the history and you can say, well, it started on this day.
You could say it started in 2008.
Okay.
Or you could say it started in 2014 when we had the Maidan Peace Accord.
I mean, when we had the Minks Peace Accords, or when it started in 2014, when we helped overthrow Ukraine's democratically elected government with the help of right-wing Nazis.
We did that.
The United States did that.
We overthrew their democratically elected government because they were too friendly with Russia.
And that's what happens.
And then there was a peace accord that said Ukraine would stop bombing the Donbass, all the Russian speakers in the Donbass.
They agreed to it.
They didn't.
And so for the next seven years, they killed 14,000 people in the Donbass.
Who did that?
Zelensky and the Ukrainians.
That's who did that.
And that's what he's talking about.
And Smirkanis is pretending not to know this.
I know he knows this, but I also know he knows he'll get fired if he says this on CNN.
And Jimmy, one last thing.
Whoever at CNN posted this clip, they took CNN edited out the part where Roger Waters was talking about the Minsk Accords and Ukraine's refusal to negotiate with Russia.
So they took that out of the clip.
Good thing Smirkanish caught that in edits and got it.
So he does actually say this.
The stuff I just said, he says, and the CNN deceptively edited that out so you don't know the truth.
Yes.
And they hire a guy like Michael Smirkanis so you don't know the truth.
That's why do you think they hire Chris Cuomo with Don Lemon?
So you guys are informed?
Don't be a chump.
Here we go.
This war is basically about the action and reaction of NATO pushing right up to the Russian border, which they promised they wouldn't do when Gorbachev negotiated the withdrawal of the USSR from the whole of Eastern Europe.
When you say this, then I have to say, what about our role as liberators?
You of all people.
So when he tells you the truth about Ukraine and how we got to this point, you don't engage in his argument.
You just ignore it.
And that's exactly what he just did.
I just, I'm going to ignore it.
Everything you just said, that is true, that the United States provoked this Ukraine war.
The United States did.
That Zelensky and the people of Ukraine, we're using them as pawns.
They're being slaughtered.
Why?
For NATO, not for Ukraine, not for them, but because we're using this as a proxy war against Russia.
And we provoked it.
And I'm going to show you videos after this of everybody agreeing with me, everybody who knows anything about Ukraine.
And so he knows this too, but he knows if he tells you that truth on CNN, he will be fired.
That will happen.
Just like they fired Jesse Ventura, just like they fired Phil Donahue, just like they fired Ashley Banfield.
They will fire you, just like they fired Ed Schultz.
They will fire you if you tell the truth on cable news.
That's why Chris Cuomo couldn't go back there.
He said he can't be an insurgent.
Yeah, he wants to be an insurgent truth teller.
So here we go.
Have your role as liberators.
World War II.
World War II.
You've got into World War II.
So he's going, Michael Smirkponic goes back to, he's trying to justify Ukraine now somehow by saying we were the liberators in World War II.
You know who liberated us in World War II?
The Russians liberated us from the Nazis.
The Nazis who are now in Ukraine.
The Nazis who the United States are now in bed with.
The Russians beat the Nazis.
I like that he tried to Spielberg his way out of it like that.
What's that, saving Private Ryan with that stupid that they go to save?
They didn't want a mother to lose her last son in the war.
That's right.
A thing that would never happen and did never happen.
But like it's a dreamy, like, yeah, we're the ones who saved the world.
And we got that mom's last Matt Damon out.
Yep.
Sir, come on.
Pearl Harbor.
Pearl Harbor.
You were completely isolationist until that sad.
That devastates.
I would argue we were always going to get in and that pushed us in.
But thank God the United States got in, right?
You lost your father in World War II.
Thank God the United States.
Thank God the Russians had already won the bloody war almost by then.
Don't forget 23 million Russians died protecting you and me for the Nazi menace.
And you would think the Russians would have learned their lesson from war and wouldn't have invaded Ukraine.
Well, you, with all your reading, I would suggest to you, Michael, that you go away and read a bit more and then try and figure out what the United States would do if the Chinese were putting nuclear-armed missiles into Mexico and Canada.
The Chinese are too busy encircling Taiwan as we speak.
They're not encircling Taiwan.
Taiwan is part of China.
And that's been absolutely accepted by the whole of the international community since 1948.
And if you don't know that, you're not reading enough.
Go and read about it.
Wow.
So that's Michael Shmurkhanov sounding exactly like Dick Cheney.
That's a guy who works for CNN and considers himself a newsman.
Sounds just like Dick Cheney, telling you every lie possible about foreign policy, that somehow China is encircling Taiwan.
That would be like the United States is encircling Kansas City.
It's part of the United States.
Wait, doesn't the United States officially recognize that?
It's always a problem when they go against the thing that we agree with.
That's the problem.
Yes.
That we recognize one China policy.
We still do.
Michael Smirkanis didn't get the memo.
So that happened on CNN.
I say.
I don't want to kill Michael Smircona, that would be just because he's.
Just because, I want to what?
He's not a thing you kill.
He's a thing you wipe.
Yeah.
Just because he's advocate, just because his type of news-style reporting gets many other people killed and he doesn't care.
Someone told you he's good?
Just watching his stupid face.
Yes, I've comedians who I like tell me that I like Michael Smirkanov because he's not left or right.
The guy's an imperialist.
The guy's a propagandist and a corporatist and every bad thing you can think of.
And his type of news gets people killed.
But I don't want to kill Michael Smirkanov.
I do want to torture him.
How would I torture him?
I don't know.
Maybe I'd write conscientious objector.
I'd tattoo it on his forehead and I'd drop him into Moropol.
How about that?
Ha ha ha.
What do you think would happen?
Oh, I thought you were going to get certified for enhanced interrogation.
What do you think would happen, Jackson, to a guy who was a conscientious objector in Maropol?
What do you think would happen?
I think we'd see what's happening in Mikolaev, Ukraine today, where Ukrainian SBU forces are going and rounding up people who are accused to be or admit to be Russian sympathizers and they're disappeared for forever.
And just to, in case you didn't know what's going on in Ukraine, this guy's name is Meachim, and he isheimer.
And he's considered, this is from 2015.
Now, he's considered the leading authority.
He was, up until now, considered one of the leading authorities on this kind of thing.
And he called this out in 2015.
He said, what we were doing is this.
I actually think that what's going on here is that the West is leading Ukraine down the primrose path.
And the end result is that Ukraine is going to get wrecked.
And I believe that the policy that I'm advocating, which is neutralizing Ukraine and then building it up economically and getting it out of the competition between Russia on one side and NATO on the other side, is the best thing that could happen to the Ukrainians.
What we're doing is encouraging the Ukrainians to play tough with the Russians.
We're encouraging the Ukrainians to think that they will ultimately become part of the West because we will ultimately defeat Putin and we will ultimately get our way.
Time is on our side.
And of course, the Ukrainians are playing along with this.
And the Ukrainians are almost completely unwilling to compromise with the Russians and instead want to pursue a hardline policy.
Well, as I said to you before, if they do that, the end result is that their country is going to be wrecked.
And what we're doing is, in effect, encouraging that outcome.
I think it would make much more sense for us to work to create a neutral Ukraine.
It would be in our interest to bury this crisis as quickly as possible.
It certainly would be in Russia's interest to do so.
And most importantly, it would be in Ukraine's interest to put an end to the crisis.
Thank you.
So there you go.
So Roger Waters, by the way, Pink Floyd, more like Red Floyd.
Am I right?
Come on.
Come on.
So he was right.
And here, I'll just tell you, I'll show you Chomsky real quick.
The idea that Ukraine might join a Western military alliance would be quite unacceptable to any Russian leader.
This goes back to 1990 when the Soviet Union collapsed.
There was a question as to what would happen with NATO.
Gorbachev agreed to allow Germany to be unified and to join NATO.
It's a pretty remarkable concession with a quid pro quo that NATO would not expand one inch to the east.
That was the phrase that was used.
So Russia has been provoked.
Well, what happened?
NATO instantly moved to East Germany.
Then Clinton came along, expanded NATO right to the borders of Russia.
Now.
And so Clinton did that.
Why didn't Noam Chomsky ever refer to Clinton as an existential threat the way he did about Trump?
Bill Clinton did that.
He knows he did that.
Isn't that weird?
Anyway.
There are the new Ukrainian government, the government after the overthrow of the preceding one.
Did you know his sweater is designed based on the Palestinian territories?
Did you know that?
Okay.
The parliament voted, I think, 300 to 8 or something like that to move to join NATO.
But you can understand why they would want to join NATO.
You can see why Petro Poroshenko's government would probably see that it's protecting his country.
No, no, it's not protecting.
Crimea was taken away after the overthrow of the government.
Right.
And he's not protecting Ukraine.
He's threatening Ukraine with major war.
That's not protection.
The point is, this is a serious, a strategic threat to Russia, which any Russian leader would have to react to.
That's well understood.
And so we forced his hand and we did it.
So because we wanted this.
This is not something that Joe Biden and Barack Obama did not want.
They did want this.
You don't want a muscular foreign policy.
They've been doing this for a long time.
NATO leaves little room for diplomacy how the war machine upped the ante in Ukraine.
So they've been wanting to do this.
I'm not making this up.
Don't people understand our differences.
And the weird thing that it's weird is that the Russian people overthrew their communist government.
They're the people who rose up against it.
No, it's because Reagan didn't wear a coat that one time.
He looks so strong.
Don't people understand our differences in the Cold War?
We're with the Soviet communist regime.
And now we are turning our backs on the very people who mounted the greatest bloodless revolution in history to remove that Soviet regime.
And Russia's democracy is as far advanced, if not farther, and as many of these countries we've just signed up to defend from Russia.
So they're talking about our NATO expansion, that Russia is a greater democracy than some of these countries that were joining up to NATO.
Of course, there's going to be a bad reaction from Russia.
And then the NATO expanders will say that they've always told you this is how Russians are.
But this is just wrong.
And so that was from George Kenman, arguably America's greatest ever foreign policy strategist.
And that's what he said about it.
Yeah, it's like we're turning our back on the people who rose up and overthrew the communists.
We're pretending that Russians are still all communists.
And this is what's happening in Ukraine.
This is the part that they wouldn't stop bombing.
Ukraine wouldn't stop bombing this part.
And so finally, and then we had this.
We had a ceasefire.
There's supposed to be military withdrawal, and we're supposed to let them have elections in here.
Ukraine didn't do that.
They didn't withdraw.
They kept bombing them and they didn't let them have their own private elections.
And so then finally, Putin invaded.
FYI, this Tasinus, this is funny, but Max Blumenthal caught this.
That host that was interviewing Roger Waters, he's an ex-personal injury lawyer who represented the fantastic fraternal order of police.
That's the union for the cops.
In a bid to bankrupt Yellow Biafra.
Jello Biafra.
Oh, I remember this guy.
He used to be a conservative drive-time guy.
Michael Mercano.
Yes.
Oh, well, it was good that he reformed and became a good Obama.
A good shitty clip.
Yeah.
A good shit lib.
And he also lobbied for Mumia's execution.
He then voted for Obama and became an anti-Trump centrist, the easiest way up in mainstream media.
That's exactly.
He used to be a crazy right-winger.
Everybody else.
That's why I know.
And then he's like, oh, I don't like Trump anymore.
Give me a job on CNN.
And they did.
They love.
Oh, if you're a Republican, doesn't like Trump.
You're like a Boy Scout.
We love you.
You're the greatest thing in the world.
You're apple pie.
God, what do I love more than a Lincoln Project, Republican?
Right?
All right.
Anyway, I think it goes actually further back than the Mints agreement.
It goes back to, hang on.
I'll tell you where it goes back to.
It goes back to 1965 on TV show Green Acres when Ava Gabor agreed to give up her mints if Eddie Albert promised never to make her Hail Bay.
Is it true that smirked on it?
Is it true that Smirkanish is actually a Ukrainian for shit sandwich?
I think it is.
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I'm here with America's comedian Kurt Metzger and the most censored man on YouTube, Jackson Hinkle.
And this is what happened yesterday: that CBS did a documentary on how the arms that we're paying to give to Ukraine to fight Russia aren't going to the front lines, that they're actually being funneled away from the war for profit.
It's weird.
You said all the money to the most corrupt country in Europe, and boy oh boy, somehow it doesn't end up where you think it's going to end up.
Who saw that coming?
Except everybody.
So they tweeted this out, right?
And the tweet says the new CBS reports documentary, Arming Ukraine, explores why much of the billions of dollars of military aid that the United States is sending to Ukraine doesn't make it to the front lines.
Like 30% of it reaches its final destination.
And then suddenly they have a little teaser video.
And here's what the teaser video was, ready?
In the past two months, we've moved weapons and equipment to Ukraine at record speed.
Drones, grenade launchers, machine guns.
We're seeing this incredible historic flow of weapons coming into Ukraine.
Do we have any sense as to where they're going?
We don't know.
There is really no information as to where they're going at all.
You know, all this stuff goes through the border, and then kind of like something happens.
It kind of like 30%, maybe we just find that this nation, 30%.
Are you concerned about weapons getting in the wrong hands?
I don't care at all whether that happens.
What sort of do you command?
Can't say.
Okay.
You know, there are like power lords, oligarchs, political players.
Of course, underbidens.
Our convoy's like this, transporting weapons.
We went to the park, just to get there.
We went to the trees.
There's a Merlan.
Europeans had come to believe that that project of integration had effectively meant the banishment of brute force.
of a sudden not far from the borders of the eu was the most significant war since world war ii So I love that blonde guy when he says, I don't care if that happens.
Weapons don't end up because I don't care.
He said it so confidently.
I'm second-guessing myself.
I'm second-guessing myself.
So they're talking about, let's go, let's go through.
They're talking about.
So guess what?
I tweeted that out.
Who saw this coming except everyone?
And then they deleted their tweet, CBS News.
CBS News deleted their tweet.
Can you fucking believe that?
Why would we removed a tweet promoting our recent doc, Arming Ukraine, which quoted the founder of the nonprofit Blue Yellow, Jonas Oman's assessment in late April that only around 30% of aid was reaching the front lines in Ukraine?
Since that time, Oman says delivery has improved.
By how much?
Oh, man, how much?
Additionally, the U.S. military has confirmed that defense attaché Brigadier General Garrick M. Harmon arrived in Kiev in August for arms control and monitoring.
We are updating our documentary to reflect this new information and air it at a later date.
So what happened was CBS committed the crime of journalism.
And CBS News did an accurate report about the corruption in this war and how we're wasting money on it.
And the people who are in charge of the war are also the people who fund CBS News.
And so a phone call got made, and this is what the result is.
We're redoing our documentary.
Sorry, we got it wrong.
We didn't know we got it wrong until we tweeted out a teaser of it.
And then we found out.
Keep in mind, they filmed this back in April.
So this has been going on the whole time.
They could have said, oh, we've updated our story.
Oh, that's tough.
Numbers, there's no new updates.
There's no new updates surrounding this at all.
They're just coming out and saying this because when they made it public, people got upset about this.
That's right.
From April.
From April.
When they made it public, people who are pro-war in Ukraine got upset about it.
And it's the people who pulled the strings at CBS News, meaning the money strings.
And they're like, what the F are you doing?
And they're like, they got that fixed up.
So it's improved.
And they sent a guy who's going to be looking.
So that, like, we don't have the whole context yet.
There's a guy who's going to come and look.
And it's better.
A single brigadier general has solved the entire issue of arms trafficking in Ukraine.
They call him general 70%.
But it's the good news, Kurt, is that the delivery of arms is up from 30%.
What percent are we up to now?
We don't know, but just it just makes me feel good to know that it's up.
Isn't that enough?
How much do you need to know?
Is it 30.2%?
Michael Tracy says, CBS claims this documentary is now being updated after it received a giant tsunami of trolling from those who are upset at the information being reported.
The original link was taken down.
What does that mean when they say that CBS has claims that they've updated it?
They did update it.
They updated it to a lot.
But that's still an update, I guess.
So that's pretty sloppy reporting from Michael Tracy, is what I'm saying.
Is he going to face any consequences?
Get him off PayPal, I say.
I'd like to target his funding.
So there it is.
He links to it.
This page cannot be found.
Look at that.
Oh, wait.
So they updated the story to this page no longer exists.
So not really an update.
So look for the Oxford dictionary to change the definition of update in the near future.
Did you know?
And my apologies.
And my apologies to Michael Tracy.
Yeah.
Did you know update and redacted basically are the same thing?
Did you know?
Good to see CBS taking full accountability after accidentally publishing some real news.
That's exactly right.
CBS News and Nora O'Donnell, you've acted in a despicable manner.
So these are people that were upset that they told the truth.
They were upset that they told the truth about the Ukraine war.
That's what this is, right?
CBS News, Nora O'Donnell, you've acted in a despicable manner.
Your contempt for the lives and freedom of 40 million Ukrainians is preposterous.
You're trying to serve your masters at the Kremlin while backtracking in such a clumsy way from the Russian propaganda piece you've already aired.
They're reacting the way my ex reacted when I told her she should stop with the Diva Cup because it's only like catching about 30%.
You know what a Diva Cup is?
Instead of a Tampa, it's a Ukrainian or military effective level cup.
And you'd be like, God knows where the other 70% of this flow is going.
I don't care.
She's like the blonde guy.
I don't care.
She doesn't care.
By the way, the name of this tweeter is Kiwi for Ukraine.
I have a suspicion that that's a fake account.
First of all, the handle is Kiwi for Ukraine.
You'd expect me to believe there's New Zealander that's passionate for war that doesn't involve hobbits.
This is such an epic fail.
This still people angry at the truth telling that CBS accidentally did.
Again, what's a gaff in Washington when you accidentally tell the truth?
And that's what CBS News did.
This is such an epic fail.
It's really bloody pointless removing the tweet after the damage is done.
But even less so if you're going to replace it with a tweet with a picture of it in it, it's also not acceptable to not provide a proper correction.
So not an epic fail.
It's not when only 30% of the weapons make it.
That's not the epic fail.
You can think, hey, you think that 70% of the weapons are going to, it's going to turn out ended up in Russia?
Because I'll bet odds on that are about 100%.
Which would actually move things up to make this from an epic fail to legendary.
It's coming.
It's coming.
You're going to find out.
Hell hath no fury like a Ukrainian flag account being told the truth about Ukraine by Amnesty International, NPR, and CBS News.
You see, Amnesty International apologized for their report as well.
They kept it up, but they apologize for the mental health issues it may have distressed in Trump.
Wow.
Well, welcome to Ukraine, the most corrupt nation in Europe.
That's what they used to say in 2015.
Epic fail.
Scandal.
Ukraine sells military equipment donated by NATO countries.
That's what's happening in July of 2022.
The most corrupt country, they're taking the stuff for the guy, and they're just, they're going to grift it.
We had no idea what the F's going on with our weapons.
Some of them will definitely go to unexpected places.
Administration knows that if it makes you feel better.
P.S. We know Ukraine is doing information warfare through our own and our own media.
So you don't like finding weapons in unexpected places.
It's fun sometimes.
It is fun.
Is that a landmine?
Is this a night vision goggle?
What happens to weapons sent to Ukraine?
The U.S. doesn't really know.
Why would we know that?
Why would we know?
But I know those weapons are doing a great job.
I know I'm proud of the Made in America stamped on each and every single one of them.
And whoever came up with that Kiwi for Ukraine idea should be promoted.
Yeah.
I mean, no one is ever going to see through that.
So here's a crazy, I forget, I lied.
There's one more story.
Here's a crazy story.
So there's this guy who makes Batmobiles in Indiana.
So this rich guy, who's a politically connected in California, ordered one of the Batmobiles.
The guy.
Was it Batman?
It was not Batman.
It was not Bruce Wayne.
So the rich guy was on, he missed a payment.
And so that moved him to the back of the line.
There's only one guy who makes approved Batmobiles.
And so he said, I couldn't get a hold of this guy who wanted me to build him a Batmobile.
And so I had to move him to the back of the line.
So instead of him getting his Batmobile next month, he's not going to get it for a couple of months because he was unavailable and I couldn't get a hold of him and he missed his payment.
And so that guy who ordered the Batmobile, the rich guy, he's connected.
He got so pissed off that the guy moved him to the back of the line and wouldn't give it to him right away that he called the sheriff.
Well, who is this joker?
I'm joking.
So he called the sheriff in California.
The sheriff sends people to Indiana to this guy to intimidate him.
And they freeze his bank account.
You want to see the story?
Here's the story.
There is only one place in the country where you can get a real Batmobile built.
San Mateo County investigators traveled there on a taxpayer-funded trip.
And the I-Team now has the receipts.
Good evening.
I'm Ama Dates.
And I'm Dan Ashley.
Thanks for joining us.
The San Mateo County Board of Supervisors is taking action just days after Friday's I-Team report.
We revealed that Sheriff Carlos Bolanos sent four investigators to Indiana last month to raid the only garage that makes Batmobile replicas licensed by DC Comics.
Our Dan Norris is back with an update on his exclusive investigation.
Dan.
Well, Dan and Amos, sources inside the sheriff's department tell me Bolanos sent those men out of state as a favor for a friend who ordered a Batmobile.
And now I have obtained some of the receipts for that trip funded by your public money.
Last week, I introduced you to Atherton Realtor Sam Edagnostio, who ordered a $210,000 Batmobile from this Indiana building.
That's awesome.
Mark Raycup told me Anagnostio missed a payment that he couldn't reach him for more than eight months and that he moved the realtor from first position to the ninth customer in line for a new Batmobile.
He didn't like that.
He exploded.
He did pay off the entire car at that point, but he was absolutely livid to find out that his car was going to be delayed.
When complaints to the Atherton police and a lawsuit didn't work, several sources inside the sheriff's office tell me Edagnostio turned to an old friend to intervene, Sheriff Carlos Bolanos.
On July 19th, he sent a lieutenant, a sergeant, and two deputies on a 2,200-mile trip to Raycup's garage, accompanied by a local Cass County detective.
I was treated as though I was a criminal from the get-go.
There was no discussion.
It was not an interrogation.
It was not an interview.
They were there to intimidate me for minute one.
Raygup says the investigators from California told his workers to leave, turned away delivery people, took him to the local jail for an hour, but let him go.
Only later did Raycup find out they froze his bank account and charge him in San Mateo County with two felonies, obtaining money by false pretenses and diversion of construction funds.
They'll now go to.
Oh, wow.
So did you know that the sheriff can freeze your freaking bank account like that on a whim?
So this is obviously, again, a political prosecution because the guy tried to go through the normal court proceedings and he couldn't get, he didn't get a resolution he liked.
So then he bribes his friend who's the sheriff.
And his sheriff uses the law, the government, to go lean on this guy, intimidate him, freeze his bank account and take him to jail.
It's like how Suge Knight used to muscle the music industry with the mob Pyru gang.
Except they couldn't freeze your bank account.
Right.
Wow.
So here, there's more.
Public comment.
The San Mateo County Board of Supervisors got an earful about the Batmobile raid from their constituents today.
We've heard nothing about the allegations of sheriffs being sent to another state to pretty much abuse power and bully a businessman when the matter could have been settled in civil court.
I'm concerned about the integrity of the DA's official.
Yes.
The DA is supposed to pursue truth and justice irrespective of a person's wealth and status.
This is just completely unacceptable.
It's embarrassing.
It's humiliating when I get calls from my friends around the country who tell me what the heck is going on in San Mateo County.
The supervisors order the county executive to get answers from the sheriff's department and district attorney.
Our constituents do want to have some answers, so I think it's appropriate that the county exec look into this and give us a report back.
I got some answers using the California Public Records Act.
Receipts from those four investigators on their trip to Indiana.
The Sheriff's Department spent more than $5,000 for airfare, $1,272 for three nights of hotels, $427 for rental SUV.
They say only three of the investigators made overtime on that Sunday, more than $3,000, a total of $10,142.76.
They got paid overtime to fly to Indiana to go intimidate a guy.
They got paid double time and a half.
guy didn't even pay he didn't even pay for those No, that came from the government.
Was that a microcosm of our entire nation?
Yes.
The county still has not provided meal receipts for the four days.
I put in a new request to speak with Sheriff Bolano.
Still no answer.
But the realtor who ordered the Batmobile, Sam Adagnostio, has agreed to sit down for an interview, and I should have that coming up later this week.
That's going to be better than Baldwin with the gun thing.
So the day of the interview came and went, and he did not show up for the United States.
Oh.
That guy did not show up for the interview.
Here's a picture of his silver salon-styled hair.
In fairness, that realtor, would Batman have settled it in civil court?
Probably not.
Probably not.
I think he could have spent more than 10 grand to fix it.
I think this might be the follow-up.
Only breaking news, Batman.
Yes, in the criminal case involving a replica of the Batmobile from that 1960s TV show.
The San Mateo County District Attorney has called off the arraignment for the Batmobile builder from Indiana, who's facing two criminal charges in a dispute with a wealthy realtor from Atherton.
Good evening.
I'm Ama Dates.
And I'm Dan Ashley.
Thanks for joining us.
DA Steve Wagstaff is taking that action after watching the first two I-Team investigations on this case.
And our Dan Norris is back with this new important development, Dan.
Well, Dan and Ama in our exclusive interview, Wagstaff told me he wants to personally review the case.
Hear once again from both the Batmobile builder and the buyer and decide if the case should actually be dismissed.
San Mateo County District Attorney Steve Wagstaff is canceling the August 19th hearing for Mark Raycup, a minister and owner of a garage in Indiana that builds replica Batmobiles.
And I said, hey, what about this, this, and this?
I want some more detail before we make a final decision on whether this case will go forward or not.
So now he's acting like he wants to get to that.
I'm all about getting to the button.
You're not a part of this fucking charade.
You're not a part of it.
So is that your last hope in America that a local news shame on you team will pick up your thing?
Your outrageous abuse of power happening.
That's what you got.
That's all we got is a local corporate owned news.
By the way, the guy who owns this news station owns this guy too.
You know what I mean?
So that's why this stuff almost never happens because all these politicians are bought by the people who own the media.
So that's why this is weird that this happened.
So you're right.
You have to hope when you get an unbelievable, when your bank account gets frozen by the sheriff in an illegal, corrupt maneuver, you have to hope that there's a local news guy who's going to shame them for you.
Because a rich guy who didn't make a payment had to wait a little longer for Batmobile.
That's right.
There's a little bit more.
That's a change, though, huh?
That's a change in the sense that otherwise it was just going to be an arraignment on the 19th of August.
What spurred that second look?
You, Canada, Wagstaff saw our I-Team investigations over the past week, questioning why San Mateo County Sheriff Carlos Bolanos sent four investigators more than 2,200 miles to Logansport, Indiana to raid Raycup's garage.
What role did your office play in the planning or the approval of the raid?
Zero.
Zero.
You didn't know that they were going to be sending a team to Indiana.
No, not at all.
Wagstaff tells me his staff did approve the search and arrest warrants prepared by the sheriff's investigators, but that in so they did approve it.
So you approved the search warrant.
We don't read them.
But we don't.
We just stamp them because we don't give a shit until the news comes.
So the way I'm, if I'm watching that, I'm like, well, then he's lying that he didn't know anything about it and didn't do it.
So, or this news report is confusing me.
But, you know, I just have a really quick question.
Who authorized that that man's bank accounts would be a bank.
Yeah, what public official authorized the shutting down of that guy's bank account?
I say it's him.
I say it's him, too.
Here's in the DA's office.
He has never seen a raid like this by the sheriff's department in another state for a nonviolent theft case.
If the person they wanted to go arrest was the godfather in New York City, maybe you go with a few more people.
But not in the average one, it's not something that I've seen.
Sources inside the sheriff's department tell me that this was the sheriff doing a favor for a friend.
What do you think about that?
What's your take?
What's your reaction?
I hope not.
I hope not.
Sheriff Bolanos remains on his month-long vacation, and his office now says he can't talk to me because he's concentrating on giving answers to the board of supervisors about the Batmobile raid.
He actually had an interview with Sam Adagnostio scheduled for the ABC.
So, here it is.
We actually had an interview with Sam Adagnostio scheduled for the ABC 7 studios at 3 p.m.
Wednesday, but he bowed out a short time before.
His lawyer, Majeed Samara, was really insistent.
He was like, Sam wants to clear his name.
He has to do this interview.
We have to do it now.
Now, Samara says he's concerned about discussing evidence in an ongoing criminal matter and that Anagnostio has been receiving harassing and, in some cases, threatening texts and phone calls.
He shared a few.
Oh, no.
Yesterday, I spotted the Atherton police.
Did you see his harassment?
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
Batman.
Hey, Robin, go get a human.
Batman.
Hey, Robin, go get me a squirrel.
Many people in this world struggle to have enough food to eat every day and survive.
On the other end, we have someone whining about his Batmobile didn't arrive on time.
My God, have you lived...
These threats are unacceptable.
You mean people making reasonable arguments to him?
This is what he considers abuse.
Hello from New Zealand, Sam.
We have heard all the way over here how much of a blank you are.
Maybe it's an ethnic slur.
Oh, how can you handle that?
He shared a few.
Yesterday, I shot the Atherton police car stationed in front of his Tuscan-style home.
I also discovered what a car enthusiast Sam.
He gets his own private cop now, too.
Yeah, we're at Orupe.
Us!
Shouldn't he have to hire a private security guy?
No, he gets a cop.
Well, also, hire a private security guy.
He's wrong.
He puts in the wrong.
There's nothing to hire, idiot.
You breached the contract.
Luke Skywalker.
Agnostio is.
What is that?
He put file on this 2020 divorce.
In the final agreement, he gets to keep his Ford F-150, his 96 VW bus, 71 Toyota, 2006 Lamborghini, 2008 Bentley GT, electric golf cart to boats to Jetsuki's four motorcycles, a Vespa and Batmobile.
After Antagnostio paid $170,000 toward his replica, Mark Raycup says he couldn't get in touch with him for more than eight months and that the realtor missed a $20,000 payment.
So Raycup moved him from first position to the ninth customer in line.
He did pay off the entire car at that point, but he was absolutely livid to find out that his car was going to be delayed.
If that is, because I watched Mr. Raycup's interview by you, and if that ultimately is the scenario, it's a civil case.
It's that simple.
That's a civil case.
Wow, what a relief.
This has been a two-week nightmare.
Today, I spoke to Mark Raycup again.
Civil case, meaning that guy.
So nothing with the sheriffs.
No, that's not a criminal event.
But it already was in civil court, and the guy, nothing happened.
So that's when the guy went and got his political crony, the sheriff, to go do it for him.
He already did try to do it in court.
He already did file a lawsuit.
So anyway.
Where is this town?
This is San Mateo, California, the county of San Mateo, right?
So this isn't that up by San Francisco, San Mateo.
And so the sheriff of San Mateo and the DA, that's who this is.
Jackson, any comment from Gen Z on this?
I know who to call when I'm buying my first Batmobile.
Ha ha ha ha ha!
Ha ha ha ha ha!
Ha ha ha.
Thank you.
I can't wait for Hasan Piker to get his first Batmobile.
I can't wait for Hasan Piker to get his first Batmobile.
Don't forget the painted fingernails to match the Batmobile.
Why doesn't this song be Batman?
That's what I want.
That's what I would like.
Hey, this is Jimmy.
Who's this?
Jimmy, this is Senator Chuck Schumer of New York.
Hi, Senator Schumer.
How are you?
Jimmy, I am flush.
Flush?
Flush.
Absolutely and utterly flush.
Flush with a sense of accomplishment and pride and optimism for the future.
Is that so?
Did you hear, Jimmy?
Did you hear?
The United States Senate just passed the Inflation Reduction Act.
We did it.
We did it.
We successfully groveled the mansion and cinema.
We did it.
So, will this act reduce inflation, actually?
Oh, absolutely.
It's right there in the name.
Actually, Moody Analytics predicted this legislation will, quote, modestly reduce inflation over a 10-year budget horizon.
Well, I guess I can see why they're called Moody.
What a bunch of party poopers.
Whatever.
Every little thing helps.
It's called the Inflation Reduction Act, not the reduction of inflation swiftly enough to impact every Americans' Lives Act.
Ah, I see.
And the health care and climate change provisions contained therein.
Absolutely breathtaking what we've achieved.
Why no insulin, Captain?
Jimmy, we live in a world with Republicans and bears.
So I'm not going to smear myself with honey and run into the woods.
And I'm not going to try and make it easier for diabetics to literally stay alive.
I've got a brain inside his head, you know.
No, no, no Republicans voted for the bill.
No Republicans in the Senate, but there may be some in the House.
It would be a good thing, a good look, if we could get a few of them on board.
Good optics.
So, sorry, no life-giving insulin if you're poor.
Point is, we are saving the climate, and diabetics get to enjoy that, too.
So, there's that.
The so-called climate salvation legislation literally opens up federal lands, millions of acres of federal lands, to oil and gas exploration.
Experts say it will be a calamity for the environment, not its salvation.
Well, our experts say the good outweighs the bad here.
So, what are you going to do?
Look, my hands were tied.
That was the only way to get Joe Manchin on board.
Good God.
You should have seen what I had to do to get Kristen Cinema on board.
Don't ask.
Wait, what part of the legislation was there to placate her?
Nothing.
She wanted a full nude body massage from little people wearing those conical black death masks while homeless people were forced to watch.
I see.
Jeez.
Believe me, those were some phone calls.
Anywho, the point is, compromises must be made.
But given even that, I'm happy with what we coughed up onto the legislative rug.
On to the house, which should be a breeze, and then President Biden signs this mother into law.
Hey, everybody's pretty happy, huh?
Oh, I would say so.
We all went to Chili's afterwards.
Dame Kamala Harris graced us with her presence.
And well, hold on.
I'm getting another phone call.
Hello, this is Jimmy Door Show.
Jeremy, this is Bernie Sanders.
Oh, hey, what's up, Senator Sanders?
Senator Schumer and I just talking about how happy all the Senate Democrats are about this bill that passed.
Oh, okay.
Absolutely get fucked with that.
You're gonna be killing me.
Do you have Chuck on the line?
Hi, Bernie.
Don't hibernate me.
I'm sick of being hibernated, Chuck.
This bill stinks, Chuck.
It doesn't go far enough, and you know it.
Oh, come off it.
I won't come off it.
You come off it.
Why do you have to be such a thorn in our sides?
You and your little amendments.
You knew they weren't going to pass.
All you were doing was cutting into Chili's time.
Fuck Chili's, and fuck you, Chuck.
I'm getting a little tired of your grandstanding, and I'm not the only one, believe me.
Grandstanding?
Is that what you call a last-minute attempt to make this bill?
Anything more, the tiny shuffle forward.
Isn't that just like a lefty Lucy?
How dare you?
How dare you say that to me?
You filthy flaming flapjack and proud of it.
What the hell are you guys talking about?
Jimmy, Bernie and I were in rival street gangs in Midwood, Brooklyn in the late 1950s.
Chuck was a member of the Flaming Flapjacks, notorious snakes and finks.
And Bernie was capo of the lefty Lucies, who everyone knew were the craziest cats in town.
You couldn't turn your back on them.
You're just still mad about the fullest street dust up.
We won fair and square.
I lost my brother that day.
He fell out of his great school window.
Unrelated incident.
Is this really the origin of your beef with each other?
Honestly, I'd forgotten all about it until just now.
But I'm here to remind you, Chuck Schumer, that I can still swing a crowbar.
And I still have a baseball bat with nails sticking out of it.
So watch it, buster.
You two need to leave this in the past.
Never.
This explains why I'm still a fighter, and Chuck is still a sneak and a fink.
Oh, yeah.
I'll settle this once and for all.
When you're a flapjack, the streets are your home.
The zeros avoid you.
You're free to just roam.
But wake up the Lucy's to start the day of king.
The world is your voice, though, so get up and sing.
Okay, folks.
The senators broke it in the song here, so I think we need to move on.
Goodbye, gentlemen, and catch us on the road this week.
Bye-bye.
Hey, become a premium member.
Go to JimmyDoorComedy.com.
Sign up.
It's the most affordable premium program in the business.
Oh, All the voices performed today are by the one and only the inimitable Mike McRae.
He can be found at MikeMcRae.com.
That's it for this week.
You be the best you can be, and I'll keep being me.
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