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Dec. 8, 2012 - Jimmy Dore Show
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The Jimmy Dore show starts right now.
This week, the oldest woman in the world died.
Again.
Bessie Cooper of Monroe, Georgia was 116.
That's a tough job being the oldest woman in the world.
There's always some younger gal coming up behind you trying to take your friend.
Sure, it seems great being 116, but just remember, you've probably outlived all your friends by 40 years.
Eventually, there's nobody left to get your references.
I'm sure Bessie experienced this when her jokes about prohibition and winning the right to vote started to fall flat.
Also, in this culture, you're considered old the minute you mention how music used to be better.
There was a time we valued wisdom, but too many stupid people complained.
Is there any dumber question to ask a person over 100 than the secret of their longevity?
First of all, they can't hear you.
Second, they get asked that all the time.
In fact, that's about the only thing they get asked.
They'll never say they were just lucky.
But living to be 100 is a lot like most other things, dumb luck.
Of course, nobody wants to ponder this for very long because the wrong people always seem to be the luckiest.
Not just some of the writers I've worked with.
According to Bessie Cooper, the secret of her longevity was minding her own business and avoiding junk food.
I just hope she's wrong, or I'm a dead man.
That's it.
It's the Jimmy Dore Show.
The show for...
...the kind of people that are...
It's the show that makes Anderson Cooper say.
It's hard to talk to you, T-Vale.
And now, here's a guy who sounds a lot like me.
It's Jimmy Dore.
Hi, welcome to this week's episode.
I'm joined on the phone.
We have all the way from Manhattan.
It's TV's Frank, Frank Conniff.
Hi, Frank.
How are you?
Hey, Jimmy, how you doing?
I'm actually in Manhattan, Kansas.
A map quest, right?
Across the glass from me, former writer for The Daily Show, hilarious comedian.
It's Steve Rosenfield.
Hey, Steve, how are you?
Good, Jimmy.
How are you?
I'm doing fantastic.
Next to him from Team Yasamura, hilarious comedian Robert Yasamura.
How are you, Robert?
What's not to like?
That's what I say.
Across from him, Peabody award-winning writer and every award-winning writer, former brother for the Daily Show and the author of Morning Remembrance, which you'll be reading from later in the show.
Those are funny obituaries of real dead people.
It's Jim Earle.
Hi, Jim.
Hi.
That's a long intro.
I'm high on Coke.
I haven't slept in days.
I hope that doesn't screw anything up today.
And last but not least, it's our resident Latina, the host of Comedy and Everything Else, which is rumored to be making comeback with W. Kamal Bell as our guest coming back.
What?
It's Steph Zamarano.
Hi, Steph.
How are you?
Hola, Jaime.
Good to see you.
You know what, Jimmy?
I'm also a cultural correspondent.
Okay, we're going to talk about that a little bit later.
What's going on?
Let's get to some jokes before we get to the jokes.
Hey, Jim DeMint.
Jim DeMint announced that he's leaving office, which proves that even the worst senators are capable of acts that are good for the country.
Dick Morris, did you hear where he got fired?
Dick Morris, that he got fired from Fox News.
Yeah, they dropped him.
People are wondering if this firing is going to ruin his distinguished reputation as a toe-sucking whoremonger who's always wrong.
Fox News also dumped Karl Rove.
Yeah, so they dumped Karl Rove and Dick Morris.
Now, who will fill the misinformation void besides everyone else on the member?
And I don't know if you guys heard, but Kate Middleton, right?
Kate Middleton, she's, well, Frank, did you hear she's pregnant?
Yes, it's always exciting when an average person with no particular talent does something ordinary.
You know, the way it got out was that she had to go to the hostel because she was suffering.
She was having morning sickness in the morning, afternoon, and night, which around my neighborhood, we just call bulimia.
The GOP's fiscal cliff offer.
Did you hear that?
So Barack Obama made his offer of, I think he has $1.4 trillion in tax increases, and the GOP made their counteroffer, which was a quote from John Boehner, nothing.
Not even the fee for the gaming license.
Which I'd appreciate if you'd put up personally.
Okay, what's coming up today?
We're going to talk about Dan Sr.
You know, Dan Sr. from the Bush administration, he's pissed off that we're not getting the truth out about what happened on 9-11, 2012.
Wow.
Yes, that we're going to talk about that.
You saw him, right, Frank, on the this week with Dave?
I did on Short Snuffle Up against the show.
I saw Dan Sr., who was the Bush Cheney spokesman during the Iraq War, questioning Susan Wright's credibility.
I saw that on ABC's This Orwellian Week.
So we're going to talk about that coming up.
We're also going to talk about the fiscal cliff and Maria Bartaromo and Jim Kramer.
And Grover Norquist sat down with David Gregory, with David Gregory.
I can't Greg a week.
Three times I said it.
Plus, we're going to talk about local news and how bad it is.
And CNN brought a woman on, a CNN correspondent, to defend Chris Brown, ladies and gentlemen.
Chris Brown's tweet war with comedian Jenny Johnson, which got really ugly.
And that's coming up.
Plus, we got phone calls from Maureen Dowd and Bill O'Reilly calls in drunk.
Again, that's all today on the Jimmy Dore Show.
Jimmy Dore Show.
Okay, so here's Bill O'Reilly called me.
He called me drunk.
Oh, no.
Four.
Jimmy.
Answer the phone, you pale-munching ovo-lacto-homo.
It's me, Bill O'Reilly, McShane, O'Malley, McTeese, Cabbish, Ferrigan, Bradigan, Brannigan, Brannigan, Eisenhower.
Oh, God, wait a sec.
I'm gonna hurl.
No.
Blech.
Ha ha ha.
LAUGHTER Hey, God, he called.
He called back.
He called back.
Wow, I don't remember eating that.
Anyway.
Jimmy, let's discuss the so-called war on women versus the horrific left-wing conflagration against Christmas.
First of all, the war on chicks, skirts, broads, gash, whatever you want to call them.
Wow.
These pure polywally bool mythological puckered unicorn anish bust in my home on a par with the Trojan War.
And we all know that did not happen, unless you want to believe what historians and archaeologists have been saying for the last hundred years.
Now, on the other hand, the war on Christmas is real.
And right now, Santa O'Claws is prying bourbon cookie peers into the moist lap of the baby Jesus.
And Jesus is going like, whoa, Santa, slow down a second.
There's a speed limit in this town.
And Santa's like, how fast was I going?
And Jesus is like, hey, it's way around 90.
And Santa's like, suppose you get down off your motorcycle and give me a ticket.
And Jesus is like, suppose I let you off with a warning this time.
And Santa's like, suppose it doesn't take.
And Jesus is like, suppose I have to whack you over the knuckles.
And Santa's like, suppose I bust out crying and put my hand on your shoulder.
And Jesus is like, suppose you try putting it on my husband's shoulder.
And Santa's like, that tears it.
And Fred McMurray helps Barbara Sandwich Killer Horse, and he gets caught by Edward G. Robinson.
Now that's reality war.
And yes, I love mayonnaise.
Okay, that's drunk Bill O'Reilly calling in.
The Jimmy Dora show is available as a podcast for free on iTunes.
Or for other ways to subscribe, go to jimmydoorcomedy.com.
And while you're there, you can listen to past episodes and you can comment on them too.
Remember, Jimmy spells his last name, D-O-R-E, jimmydorecomedy.com.
D-O-R-E We haven't covered the Susan Rice affair, but people who listen to this show kind of know what's happened, right?
So there was an attack in Benghazi that killed four people, including a diplomat.
And then she was scheduled to go on the Sunday morning talk shows.
And what she did was repeat the talking points that were given to her from the CIA, right?
And so you're not allowed to say anything other than what the CIA says you can say about this.
Even if the CIA knows something, they can't let you say it.
Like, for instance, people are all over Susan Rice because she didn't say it was a terrorist attack, right?
And it's what it turns out to be.
They said she didn't say it was a terrorist attack.
And when they knew it was at the time, well, the CIA told her she couldn't, right?
So you can't do that.
And there's reasons that the CIA might not want someone to say it yet.
They might not want the terrorists to know they know it was a terrorist attack.
So who even knows?
So she did what she was supposed to do.
So then everybody's been piling on her.
John McCain and who's the guy, why am I blanking on the Graham?
Graham Lindsay.
Lindsey Wagner Graham.
He's been on her.
And so it's, and all the Republicans have been on her, right?
So they've been trying to make it as if somehow Susan Rice did something wrong.
Like the UN ambassador is somehow responsible for what happened in Benghazi, right?
She misinformed the public, which, as you know, Republicans associated with the Bush administration, which is outrageous by.
Yes, they're outraged by an administration official giving bad information, intelligence over the airwaves about a foreign terrorist attack.
Sure.
Oh, and by the way, they're pissed because those three weeks when we didn't know it was a terrorist attack, we could have been panicking.
Yes, very good.
So Dan Senior, now, if you're not familiar with who Dan Sr. is, he's the guy who's been wrong about everything forever.
He's a spokesperson for the Bush-Cheney administration.
So he had to defend all those lies and the illegal war, the illegal invasion, all that stuff.
And then, plus, on 9-11, I don't know if you know, George Bush was president.
So it was the biggest intelligence failure, the biggest defense failure in the history of the United States happened under Dan Sr.'s watch, okay?
Right.
And Dan Sr. was the spokesman for the Provisional Occupational Authority, or whatever it was called, in Iraq.
And he was the spokesman.
And he was, even as it was happening, he had a reputation for giving press conferences that had very little to do with reality.
Yes.
So Dan Sr. is a.
Jimmy, I just call him Dan the man.
Dan the man.
That's just the translation, Dan Senor.
Oh, is that what Senor means, man?
Yeah, that's what I mean.
So Dan Mann, our Latino correspondent.
Thank you.
That's why that's what it pays off right there, fellas.
And what do you call that squiggly line over the end?
A tilde.
Okay.
Boom low.
So he was on this.
When Dan Sr. is in a Mexican restaurant, he goes into the bathroom and just thinks that it's only for him.
Esper Dad.
Then he takes out his tilde.
And the provisional authority were the ones responsible for the debatification, which is generally considered one of the stupidest moves ever.
The debatification was when they took everybody who used to run the government was in the Bath Party.
And so the brilliant idea that Dan Senior had was to get rid of all of them and ban them from government.
And so we had a bunch of people who never ran government before running government, which makes the Bush administration feel a lot more comfortable, I'm sure, right?
And so that's what happened, right?
So he was on with George Nufalopagus.
And as he's trying to attack Susan Rice, he's trying to make the case that he brings up the 1982 Lebanon attack.
I don't know if you remember, right?
So all those Marines were killed.
So they're saying, well, what are you talking about?
This kind of stuff happens all the time.
And we don't know what the, you know, it's always the fog of war and we don't know what's actually happening.
And nobody was upset at Ronald Reagan when 243, I think.
Was it 243?
I think it was.
It was a lot.
Yeah, we're not about facts, but so they made that point.
And here's Dan Senior's response.
You look at 1982.
There were actually.
There was an airing.
There was accountability.
There was an outlet for accountability.
I'll play it again.
Look at 1982.
They were actually.
There was an airing.
There was accountability.
There was an outlet for accountability.
He is making the case for accountability.
The guys who ordered war crimes, the guys who illegally invaded countries, and the guys who let our country down in the biggest way possible on national defense is now screaming about accountability.
He goes on.
Part of the problem here is in the lead up to the election, when Benghazi got a lot of attention, the president said, don't talk about Benghazi.
you do, you're politicizing the issue.
So you weren't allowed to...
He's saying that the president forbade Mitt Romney from politicizing Benghazi.
Which he did.
Okay, which he did even before the president made a statement about Benghazi.
Mitt Romney came out at 10 p.m. that night and made a statement politicizing Benghazi, which everyone from the left and the right roundly castigated him for.
So Dan Senior, again, being a good, not missing a beat from the Bush administration, creating a false reality.
And you know what?
No one challenged him on it, which really shocked me.
I imagine Dan Sr. sitting down with history books and just redpenning them.
Like, nope, we're not going to say this one out loud, like just revising it as he goes.
So here he so he had a little bit more to say about accountability.
Look, there is this investigation going on.
So here's the thing.
So there's going to be an investigation.
There's an investigation happening about what actually happened in Benghazi.
And it's really hard to tell what happened in small firefights, as we've learned from our good Pulitzer Prize winning journalist Tom Hicks.
He said on Fox News, he said it's a small firefight.
You probably never know what happened.
But there is an investigation, so let's wait.
So what they're doing by attacking Susan Rice and the way President Bush handled, I mean, the President Obama handled Benghazi, it's the equivalent of people piling on George Bush the day after 9-11.
And no one did that.
In fact, they didn't even appoint.
They never piled on him ever.
Ever.
In fact, and George Bush used 9-11 as if it was some kind of a victory for him, right?
He campaigned, right?
The joke I've told on the show a million times is he campaigned so hard on 9-11, you would think he prevented it.
And also, lots of Republicans, including Giuliani, said there were no attacks on America during the Bush administration.
These start the clock the next day.
They all do.
So there is an investigation, and people are like, why don't you just wait for the investigation?
So they won't even.
So this is all political, right?
So what they're doing is politicizing foreign policy, which is what you're not supposed to do, right?
Am I wrong about that?
No.
I don't think so.
But also I thought it was very interesting when we were watching that, that the whole idea that not one person sat there and said, well, was there funding that wasn't, was...
Nobody brought.
So by the right, so let me play this clip and we'll come back to your point, Steph.
Look, there is this investigation going on in Benghazi, but there are certain things that we can get basic answers to.
There was a complete security vacuum in Libya before September 11th, 2012.
He just talked about that President Obama had a security vacuum in Benghazi before September 11th.
And the irony of him saying that it's lost on everybody.
He's upset that there was a security vacuum in Africa, but he's not upset about the one that was in Manhattan and Washington, D.C., aka the Pentagon.
Okay, keep going.
I mean, there were transactional terrorist groups who were able to fill that vacuum.
Our security was dependent on these local Libyan militia.
These are things we know.
What happened on September 11th?
What the president did in the situation room on September 11th?
These are things he knows.
What happened after September 11th in terms of how the administration communicated to the American public?
Things we still don't know about the real 9-11, you ass.
And he's upset about this.
Hey, let's get the answers to this one first because four people died, and then we'll never go back and get the answers to the original one.
Anybody else got a problem with that?
Well, if anybody would want to emphasize this September 11th instead of that September 11th, it'd be senior, you know?
Yes, it would be Dan Mann.
It's true.
He keeps saying September 11th over and over again as if it's going to become like people are going to think that that's the real Benghazi.
We all remember where we were, Benghazi.
Yeah, like when you, so from now on, when you say September 11th, you'll have to clarify.
Oh, I'm talking about the 2001 September 11th.
That's the really famous one.
I was changed by both of those days.
Oh, really?
Yes.
I'm a survivor of both of them.
So now this all is coming down to Susan Rice, who is the UN ambassador who they think President Obama is going to nominate to be the new Secretary of State after Hillary Clinton steps down.
You know, Hillary Clinton, right?
She was a former first lady.
They hated her so much because she was involved in her husband's cabinet.
She came up with the health care plan, and people just hated her because she was, you know, smart, smart, qualified, qualified, and involved in politics.
So here's Senator Bob Corker, and here's why he says he's going to oppose Susan Rice.
I've told people, certainly I will give her a fair hearing.
I do think that the underlying issue here is people have seen her far more as a political operative and not a principal.
And I think that's what the White House is witnessing right now.
Yeah, Susan Wright just isn't fit to be Secretary of State because she's too political.
Look at Hillary Clinton.
We used to think she was too political, but now we respect her because she's been a good Secretary of State.
Okay, bad example.
Yeah, we need to not give her a chance to be good because then she would.
Yes, she's too political.
And it's President Obama's fault for letting us politicize the out of her.
And by the way.
You have to take into account that our previous Secretary of State, Caudaleeza Rice, when she was sworn in, she had no baggage whatsoever.
She hadn't screwed up anything.
Yeah, that was a...
But Susan Rice is the one with the real history.
Yeah, now Condoleezza Rice, now she was President Bush's national security advisor, was she not?
Right.
And then what happened under her when she was national security?
Did anything happen, Frank?
A few things.
She thought that bin Laden determined to attack inside the U.S. was a coloring book.
The serpent is that little piece of intelligence.
And then that didn't really, that didn't hamper her becoming Secretary of State?
No, she was part of the biggest security breach in American history, and they made her Secretary of State.
But that's true, including Dan Sr., who I believe had some kind of medal afterwards.
Everyone in the Bush administration, no one suffered any accountability.
They were all honored.
So you're saying that when Dan Sr. calls for accountability over this September 11 attack 2012, that you're saying that there wasn't any accountability for the first September 11th, 2001 attack.
You're saying that a bunch of people didn't lose their jobs, Frank?
I'm stepping out of Olympia.
I'm saying that.
and as a matter of fact, I'm saying that the Bush administration was the 9-11 of no accountability.
People keep failing upwards.
It's like show business.
Exactly.
You know, okay.
By the way, you notice that they're having this battle now before she's nominated because now they can control the story and make nonsense out of it.
Yes.
Whereas if she actually goes into a nomination hearing, which is public, it will come out that she is incredibly qualified.
Yes.
Nothing she did was wrong.
I don't know why did she go on all those Sunday shows.
But because that's her job.
I don't know.
Wow.
Okay, so here's what Cokie Roberts has to say about the potential Susan Rice nomination.
And that nomination would become an entire investigation of Benghazi.
That's what that nomination would become.
Okay, so she's saying that because the Republicans are going to demagogue her in a craven political move during the hearings, Obama's a jerk.
Bring it.
That's what she's.
Yeah.
Susan Rice was not responsible for Benghazi.
I understand that.
Yeah, I know you understand that, Cokie.
Then why don't you shut the fuck up about it?
That was like they said.
Okay, I'm sorry.
Go ahead.
Well, that was like they said in the last weeks of the presidential campaign.
Obama can't work with Congress because they're totally trying to screw him.
We need Romney because nobody wants to work with Obama.
I never imagined in my lifetime that I wouldn't be able to respect someone named Koki.
Okay, so here's the Oklahoma, and here's what the Oklahoma congressperson says about Susan Rice's nomination.
Here's what he has to say.
Yeah, the president has to make a decision here.
Do I really want this fight?
Is this really going to be helpful?
Is this in the best interest of the country?
Is this person so indispensable that that's the only person I can find to be Secretary of State?
Or do I avoid the fight, find somebody else?
It's perfectly acceptable, perfectly defensible.
You know, my money is he probably comes down there.
He's going to have plenty of fights.
This is not one I would go pick.
Yeah, you know what?
I always allow my opponents to decide which fights I should fight and which I should.
I don't know if you guys remember.
It'd be great if you gave up.
It would really be good.
Yes.
Just please don't fight this fight.
I mean, Hitler also warned Roosevelt to stay out of it.
I don't know if you guys remember that.
That's a good joke.
Also, you know, Republicans love those.
What's that, Frank?
They love those smooth hearings like the Clarence Thomas.
Yes.
It's weird, though, to hear him say it out loud.
That was the point of all this.
What he was saying was that was the point of this entire thing was to make sure that he it was why do they give a f about Susan Rice in the first place?
Because she's too good.
And I think Rachel Maddow is right.
I think they want Kerry in so that they can get that Senate seat.
Oh, absolutely.
More than the Kerry thing, I think it's just that Republicans look for anything that they can latch on to that they can attack Obama with.
And so they have to invent these things.
I agree.
Here's what Dan Sr. says about that idea.
So the idea is that they want the president to nominate John Kerry, who's a senator from Massachusetts, to be Secretary of State.
And then they can have a special election.
And then they think they'll get Scott Brown back into the Senate.
And here's what Dan Senior has to say about that.
I think everyone understands that John Kerry is going to be nominated for something.
If it's not for Secretary of State, it could be for Secretary of Defense.
So he says, so did you, I don't know if you heard what he said.
He goes, everybody understands that John Kerry's going to be nominated for something.
No, I don't.
Nobody understands that.
You're just making stuff up again, Dan.
Here he goes.
I think everyone understands that John Kerry is going to be nominated for something.
If it's not for Secretary of State, it could be for Secretary of Defense.
This idea that they're holding up Susan Rice because of this plan to get Scott Brown maybe elected.
I just think that's too much.
You know, that thing, that's truth, but it's too much.
Yeah, that thing that's actually happening, that could, this guy's from an administration who lied us into a fucking war.
And they wouldn't, they wouldn't ever think to try to get the seat back in Massachusetts.
Why would they ever?
That's way too much of a conspiracy.
Okay.
Oh, and by the way, they're going to, the Republicans have completely signaled that they will fast-track his nomination, even though in 2004 they called him a liar.
Yes.
Over and over and over again.
Yeah, that liar is okay.
He's a white guy.
What does Dan Sr.
Wensu say?
You hear all these lies that Dan Sr. is saying on the George Stufalufukas show, and you never even hear George Stufalufikas's voice.
No.
Not only does he not challenge them, I don't even think he's in the room while he's saying it.
It's pretty amazing, right?
Yeah, it's like he see, that's the thing, and they know that they're not going to be challenged.
And here's the thing, Frank, I'm starting to believe it's because if they did challenge them on everything they said, the show would just grind to a halt because he just, I mean, everything Dan Senior is saying is almost completely detached from reality.
These people cannot challenge anybody because they lose access.
Yes.
You know, these millionaires acting as journalists will lose access, and they will lose their shows, and they will no longer be powerful millionaires.
You know what, though?
You look at look at someone like Rachel Maddow who doesn't care about access, and so she doesn't have those people on her shows, and as a result, she has a much better show.
Yes.
Here's the important thing, though.
Like, if you watch any Sunday talk show, look at what the commercials are.
Look at who the sponsors are.
It's always coal is always for coal and big corporations.
And military-industrial complex people.
The military-industrial complex and pharmaceuticals.
Those sponsors make the Sunday shows very profitable, and that's who they have to answer to.
Lubricated catheters.
You're going to have to answer to the lubricated catheter industry.
That's right.
Those are the people who are running who make the Sunday talk shows possible.
So that's why it's the most corporate point of view all week long on television.
The Sunday shows are.
Yes, they certainly are.
If it's conventional wisdom, it's Meet the Press.
Happy holidays.
Hey, everybody, podcast listeners, my favorite listeners.
You know the show.
Made possible by you guys, the support of the listeners here.
What's our deal this week, Jimmy?
The deal this week, first of all, when you're going to do all your Christmas shopping, don't forget about our Amazon.com box.
That's the easiest way to help support the Jimmy Door show.
It doesn't cost you a penny, and it doesn't change the way you shop at all.
What do you do?
How do you do it?
Well, the next time you want to buy something from Amazon.com, you go to my website, jimmydoorcomedy.com.
You click on the Amazon.com page, which is right on the right-hand Side and it takes you to Amazon.com.
You buy something, they send us money to help support the show.
It's just that easy.
Now, I know a lot of you are going to be doing your Hollywood, your Hollywood, your holiday shopping.
And I would hope that you would remember to use the Amazon.com box over at JimmyDoorComedy.com, okay?
And you only have to go there once, right?
Every time you go to Amazon, you don't have to go back to my website.
You just go there one time, you click on the Amazon.com box.
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And so the next time you want to go back there, you just go to that bookmark.
It's just that simple.
Okay, and there's another way you could help support.
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What do you get with these?
So these mini Christmas trees, we get them.
They're for like if you have an office and if you don't want to get a huge tree like Steph and I, we don't like to get a huge tree.
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We don't work with everybody who wants to work with us, but here's what you do.
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The deal is a 1999 mini Christmas tree, and they look really cool.
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We got one last year.
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Merry Christmas, Happy New Year, and Hanukkah.
And I'm willing to pretend people celebrate Kwanzaa too.
Okay, now let's get back to the show.
Welcome back to the Jimmy Door Show.
I'm joined in studio by former writer for the Daily Show, Steve Rosenfield from Feem Yasamura.
It's Robert Yasamura.
From Mystery Science Theater 3000 on the phone, we have Frank Connov.
It's TV's Frank, the host of Comedy Everything Else, our resident Latina Steph Zamarano is here and Peabody, an Emmy Award-winning writer and the author of Morning Remembrance, funny obituaries of real dead people.
It's Jim Earle.
And what are we talking about?
Let's talk about how horrible the local news is here in Los Angeles.
So I was watching, they were doing a big charity event.
So in downtown Los Angeles on Skid Row, they have a big Thanksgiving dinner that they provide for the homeless people and the poor.
And I just thought it was interesting the way the Los Angeles news people decided to cover it.
Okay.
So here's how they covered it.
I'm La Casa Garcia Restaurant and the group called We Give Thanks teamed up to provide Thanksgiving dinners to those in need.
Some 1,500 volunteers served up to 1,000 turkeys.
Here are the stats.
5,000 pounds of potatoes, more than 15,000 dinner rolls, and 5,000 pies.
Meanwhile, back in LA, there was a big celebration at the Midnight Mission.
Thousands of homeless women, men, and children feasted on turkey and all the trimmings.
Mayor Antonio Villa Ragosa and celebrities like Dick Van Dyke volunteered their time.
Every year, there's more and more families.
Used to be just a bunch of old derelicts like me.
And now a lot of family with a lot of kids.
And they're getting more and more of them every year.
So there's Dick Van Dyke making the point that more children are now homeless in Los Angeles in America, the richest country in the world.
There's children who are homeless.
And so let's see how the news people react.
And volunteers serve 4,000 pounds of turkey, 3,000 rolls, 700 pounds of candied yams, 400 pies, and 15 gallons of gravy.
All right, here in Southern California.
Okay, they weren't trying to set a Guinness record.
That's not the story here.
That is a lot of gravy there.
They were making it sound like it was a fun thing.
I know, but it's a lot of yams.
I love Thanksgiving.
Frank?
I thought they were just talking about Chris Christie's dinner.
Jim, they had to hire a guy just to count the yams.
Oh, man, I love it.
I'm still stuffed, guys.
The yams came in handy because Karen Finley did a performance.
I don't get that joke.
She smeared them up her ass back in the 80s.
Oh, did she?
Yeah, performance time.
Yeah, she can ram them up.
It wasn't a smearing.
It was a ramming.
I just, this was like, that's their spin on it.
Like, hey, look all, oh, my God, 3,000 pounds of yams.
That's great.
Kids are homeless.
Let's go.
If they could have quantified those kids in kind of fun numbers, too, they would have done that.
They would have been like, there's a swimming pool-sized number of homeless kids here.
That's a great way to put it.
I thought that they were going to spin it like, well, it's great to hear that now being homeless is for the whole family.
Yeah, there is a bouncy house full of homeless kids.
It was just nice to know that they were feasting.
Oh, yeah.
They're feasting.
Yeah, right.
The homeless were fake.
What a description.
They have food once a year.
So here's how.
So I'm going to just show you.
That's how vacuous dudes is.
Even Dick Van Dyke has too much gravitas for them.
He's a bummer.
That's a good point.
So here, I'm going to show you the next story they did back to back.
So we'll go to the end of that story and then the next story.
And volunteers serve 4,000 pounds of turkey, 3,000 rolls, 700 pounds of candied yams, 400 pies, and 15 gallons of gravy.
All right, here in Southern California.
And here's the beauty of living here.
You can leave the beach and a couple of hours later and celebrate Thanksgiving with skiing and snowboarding.
Okay.
All right.
That is the beauty.
And you know what else is the beauty of living here?
If you're hot enough, you can always find a job on the local news.
You don't even have to be talented or smart.
They go to a story about how many more homeless children we have in Los Angeles to, oh my God, who knew it's November and they're skiing on snow.
Can you believe that?
Mm-hmm.
Oh, okay.
So I'll just go.
It also kind of sounded like she was saying, you know, if you want to get away from poverty, you're snowboarding.
Hey, that's right.
Hey, if you don't want to have to see these dirty, unwashed, homeless people, which that's the beauty living in Southern California.
Hey, listen, I wanted, there's one more story they did on that same newscast.
And, you know, we've got a lot.
It's a high crime city, Los Angeles.
And, well, here it comes.
Police are reviewing surveillance video after a Torrance jewelry store was burglarized two days in a row.
The Robbins Brothers store at Torrance and Hawthorne Boulevards Was burglarized just after five o'clock this morning.
Someone smashed a side emergency exit door to get inside the business.
A display case was shattered in which about $5,000 worth of lower-end jewelry was taken.
Yesterday morning, someone broke a window to get inside the business and stole several cubic zirconia jewels worth about $500.
Anyone with information is asked to call Torrance police at 310-618-5641.
And other news, Timmy's bike was stolen from in front of the teen center, and somebody tossed a rock through a window of a building where the movie theater used to be.
Somebody cut off their slossing.
Police are on the lookout for burglars with really lousy taste in jewelry.
And they're worried that the burglar who made off with the cubic zirconia will use it to fool his girlfriend who wants to get married.
And in today, George Clooney stole my heart.
Very nice.
Another guy got his head cut off near Kaiser.
I heard about that.
Yeah.
There's another city.
There was a headless body found, right?
Yeah, yeah.
Or a head was found, which was fun.
The head was found nearby.
You know what?
I got to go skiing.
That's the beauty of living.
Forget about all this.
That's the beauty.
Nice joke.
It's my wife.
All right.
If you still have a head, go to Big Bear.
Welcome back.
500 cups of turkey.
Potatoes.
You know, hats off to the guy who found that headless.
Sorry.
What?
Very nice.
So the fiscal cliff, everybody's talking about the fiscal clip.
And David Gregory brought on two people from CNBC, Maria Bartaromo and Jim Kramer.
And here's what Maria Bartaroma.
First of all, Maria Bartaromo starts us off with some misinformation right off the top.
This is our financial reporter from CNBC.
When it comes to spending cuts, two points here.
Number one, Americans realize that the three biggest drivers of our debt are Medicare, Medicaid, and Social Security.
Yes, especially the Americans who don't know anything about Social Security.
Bartaromo.
You know, you know, years ago, she got me to put all my savings into the beefsteak mines.
Lost everything.
Was she in Lompoc when she came told you that?
Lompuck, yes.
Okay.
Sorry, it's an old.
So Maria Bartaromo's point is to cut our national debt, Americans are willing to go without food, shelter, and medical care.
Are they good sports or what?
I can't, you know, think about the wasted millions of dollars we could save just by firing Maria Bartaromo.
Something to think about.
So and not one person on that panel corrected her about what we're really spending all our money on.
You know, Steph, even though Social Security pays for itself and can easily be fixed, gold people.
Right?
She's right.
And here's what, here's Jim Kramer is the other CNBC person on that panel.
And oh, no, I'm sorry, Frank.
I don't have this.
You go ahead.
What were you going to say?
Well, I was going to say, actually, that he, you know, he's been wrong about everything, and he didn't, you know, he was completely wrong about the financial delta.
And yet, in the context of the Nika Press panel, he was kind of a voice of reason.
He sounded like a sage.
All right, so we'll go.
Maybe it was because he couldn't wave his arms.
So here's her.
Years ago, he said hair would go up.
The most reliable person on CNBC is actor Stacey Keech.
Is he on there?
Yeah, he does.
American Greed.
Oh, that's right.
But he's still the best journalist on there.
So here's Maria Bartaromo.
I think it's pronounced by her.
Nihiruawa.
And here she is talking about the president.
Is the president going to be willing to compromise to get this fiscal cliff deal done?
It looks like both sides are digging in.
Based on that interview, it looks like the president is digging in.
And that's unfortunate because it doesn't seem like we are looking at compromise right now.
It's unfortunate that the president's digging in, but not unfortunate that the Republicans who have been screwing him at every turn are digging in.
Here's what Jim Kramer says to that.
I think he's doing pretty well.
See, I think he's calling for compromise.
Okay, so we got two completely polar opposite answers from the two financial reporters.
Can anybody else figure out how our economy crashed and nobody saw it coming?
Here's what.
And there's also no acknowledgement on Maria Bartralova's part that the father's side won the election.
You know, people want what Obama's advocating.
Yeah, exactly.
She didn't, yes, at no point did she say, yeah, the president's digging in and he kind of has a right to.
He just won another election.
Oh, and she's also, she's Bartararoma, Momo.
She's also not acknowledging that he has completely signaled that he is open to reforming a lot of benefits, much to my horror.
But he has completely said, like, everything's on the table.
So she's flat out lying.
Yeah, she's flat out lying.
This is the perfect time for me to reveal that Maria Bartraomo is my drag queen name.
laughter So they asked Secretary Timothy Geithner.
That's a great joke, Frank.
Now they're asking Secretary Timothy Geithner, Secretary of the Treasury, now are we going to get a deal?
And if not, what is standing in our way from getting a deal?
The only thing that stands in the way of a deal right now is if a group of Republican members decide they're going to block a deal because they want to extend tax cuts we can't afford for the wealthiest 2% of Americans.
Oh, so the only thing that stands in the way of raising taxes is the Republicans will do anything to avoid it.
I say pop the champagne.
We're almost there.
Yeah.
And right after the Republicans agree to a tax increase, we're going to get the Israelis and Palestinians to sign a peace treaty.
Maria Butta Fuco is a disgrace.
She's not trust anything she says.
I'm going to call her Buttofuco for the rest of my life.
I'm proud to say she's from Long Island.
She was.
You know, and you got to think, and here is Timothy Geithner, and he is actually showing some real integrity because if the Democrats win this, he's going to spend the rest of his life playing golf with strangers.
It's a big sacrifice to make.
The Jimmy Doer show is available as a podcast for free on iTunes.
Or for other ways to subscribe, go to JimmyDoorComedy.com.
And while you're there, you can listen to past episodes and you can comment on them too.
Remember, Jimmy spells his last name, D-O-R-E, jimmydorecomedy.com.
Thank you.
Now, in case you guys haven't heard about it, Chris Brown, you know, Chris Brown, the musician who beat the crap out of Rihanna and has been famously unapologetic for it.
In fact, he's gone on to be, and he got into trouble because he was being homophobic and saying horrible things about that.
He's done a lot of bad things, and he's not a good person.
So I was watching Reliable Sources with Howard Kurtz, which is very unreliable.
And I've said this before: if Howard Kurtz, he's a media watchdog.
He's Howard Kurtz, a media watchdog.
And if he was just a real watchdog, if someone broke into your house, he would have his teeth firmly planted in the mailman's ass.
Okay, so here they so I'm watching that show and they're talking about the Chris Brown.
Now, if you, if you haven't heard about the tweets, let me read you some of the tweets.
So it all starts.
So Jenny Johnson is a comedian from New York, and she's funny, and she likes to make jokes about Chris Brown because she's a woman, and she doesn't take kindly to guys who are women batterers, right?
Unapologetic, right?
So he tweeted, I look old as f.
I'm only 23.
So he tweeted that, and then she tweeted back, I know being a worthless piece of shit can really age a person.
Funny right off the bat.
She's funny right off the bat.
So he tweets back to her.
Chris Brown, guy, convicted felon for beating his girlfriend, says, take them teeth out when you suck my hoe.
That was what he tweeted back.
Witty.
And he spelled ho with an E at the end.
Yes.
Wow.
She tweets back: it's not ho, it's hoe without the E. He tweets back, I should fart while you're giving me top.
That's what he tweeted back to her.
Let me know what that means.
And then she tweeted back to him: your mom must be so proud of you.
And he tweets back, I don't even have to tell you what you already know.
Thanks, Hoke.
Hashtag bush pig.
I know.
It's so bad it is funny, right?
So then Jenny.
So then he tweets again to her, said, your mom says hello.
She told me not to shart in your mouth, wanted me to shit right in your retina.
Wow.
Yeah, so these are the things that Chris Brown, famous guy, millionaire, already a convicted felon for beating his girlfriend.
I have to say, I haven't heard anything like this since the Twitter exchange years ago between Dorothy Kilgallen and Danny Cobb.
I have no idea what you're talking about.
That is a shit reference, folks.
I got it.
So here they are.
Or a shark reference.
They bring on a woman who I can't pronounce her last name.
Her first name is Lola.
Lola, and it's kind of pronounced like Aguagumami, and I, so I can't pronounce it.
It looks like Elijahwan.
So Lola Elijahan is on with Howard Kurtz, and here's what she had to say.
He's obviously a volatile character.
He obviously has a temper.
And it's no surprise that when he was pushed and pushed and pushed and pushed and pushed, he reacted.
Now, to be fair.
First of all, she makes an excellent point.
He's a volatile character.
He does have a temper.
And obviously, the best way to express that is to beat up women because they don't fight as good.
That's just logical.
She says you make a better opponent because they start crying.
What people don't know is that when he hit Rihanna, she had just sent him a really snarky tweet.
And I love how she goes, you know, she pushed and pushed and pushed and pushed.
You mean she tweeted stuff at him?
Now, to be fair, this Jenny Johnson character has been attacking him on Twitter since 2009.
Wow.
Oh, my gosh.
Oh, my.
Since it was revealed that he was a wife beater.
Yes, ever since it was revealed he was a wife beater.
She's been attacking him on Twitter.
Oh, what a bitch.
Yeah, wow.
What a nightmare he must live in.
I guess he doesn't know how to block someone on Twitter.
So he's a batterer and he's stupid, too, on top of it.
So yes, she has more to say.
She does sound, Jenny does sound like she's really pushing it.
She's that character, Jenny.
Yeah, I like what she called.
Yeah, she refers to her as that Jenny Johnson character.
Like, what did the, why are you, what are you trying to do?
Yeah.
Because Jenny Johnson is the same as Melrose Larry Green.
It's the same.
Yeah.
Here she goes on.
I think since 2011, I read somewhere she's written about him 97 times.
Sure, she's a married mother of two.
Wow.
She's written around him 97 times in two years.
That's almost five or six times a month.
She's tweeting.
I tweet that more to I do that.
Wait a minute.
Wait a minute.
Are you telling me that a comedian was writing tweets about a celebrity?
That's crazy.
Yes.
Yes.
Okay.
So here's.
You'd almost think it was her job to make jokes about as a professional comedian.
You'd almost think so.
You would almost think so.
She's a character.
She goes on.
Since 2011, I read somewhere she's written about him 97 times.
Sure, she's a married mother of two.
First of all, she's not a married mother of two.
She's married, but she has dogs.
She doesn't have any kids.
So, and by the way, she was introduced.
Lola Alijuan was introduced as a cultural commentator.
Hey, Robert, do you have anything to say about that?
Everybody is literally a cultural commentator.
If you walk out of your house and go, hey, the street looks a little fucked.
You're a cultural commentator.
Yeah, you know, it goes from everybody from her to the guy with the head wound out in front of my 7-Eleven.
They're all, hey, what's with the kids today?
Boom.
I'm a cultural commentator.
Okay.
So if you on Twitter, you know, what does being a married mother of two have to do with anything?
Some of the funniest, darkest tweets come from this woman, Joycelyn Plume, who goes by Filthy Richmond, and she's hilarious, and she has kids.
Well, we all know.
Well, Frank, we all know Joan Rivers didn't have any kids when she was hilarious, right?
Right, right.
And also, Kelly Oxford, who's very famous from Twitter, has kids and does very dark and funny tweets.
So what is this woman talking about?
I think what Lola is trying to say, not that she can't be funny, but that she belongs back in the kitchen.
No, she's trying to say, she's trying to say she's a bad mother.
Oh, that's what that is.
What kind of a mother tweets?
I don't know.
27 times about Chris Brown.
What kind of a mother tells Her kids that a man shouldn't beat up a woman.
Am I right?
Good point.
Some people are saying it's her fault that this abuse was showered on her because she started it.
Oh, who would do that, Howard?
Who would do that?
Wait a minute.
I think we found someone.
He's not the type of person that's just going to roll over and take it, especially if it's been happening for the better part of three years.
And she shouldn't.
You mean he's not going to take some anonymous person tweeting mean things to him on Twitter about when he beat up his girlfriend and showed zero remorse?
He's not going to take that.
And by not taking it, she's referring to how he then reveals his personality and launched misogynistic attacks at her intended to humiliate her sexually.
This is what she's talking about, how he's not going to take it.
Shouldn't be surprised that when she poked the lion, he bit back.
Yes.
She shouldn't be surprised that when she poked the you know, all I oh, this Jenny Johnson character, what was she wearing when she was tweeting?
You know, Jimmy, the only thing I can think of is this woman, this cultural commentator, is coming off as someone who wants people to think of her as an abused woman so she can take Mika Brzezinski's job.
Well, I like how she says to be fair also.
Now, to be fair.
Yeah, to be fair, Chris Brown's reputation has taken a lot of hits in recent years, and he needed to prove he's still a sociopath.
Worked out then.
Okay, let's see what else she says.
Some people are saying it's her fault.
Okay.
Who would say that?
He's not the type of person that's just going to roll over and take it, especially if it's been happening for the better part of three years.
And she shouldn't be surprised that when she poked the lion, he bit back.
Yes, because he's not going to roll over and take it.
If he did, if he did that, people might think he finally had some grasp of how to live amongst people who don't worship him.
She shouldn't be surprised that if what the fa?
Well, you know what?
The lion didn't bite back.
It really just shit back.
Yeah.
Exactly.
Why didn't they just take the time to interview her in person, you know, do a remote or something?
You mean Jenny Johnson?
Yeah, Donald Trump.
She's turning down interviews.
She doesn't want her anymore.
She's not even taking interviews on this.
Well, then she deserves a good shit on.
Because she's gotten death threats.
No, Jim, she doesn't deserve to be shit.
So here she goes.
She goes on.
That said, I also think that Miss Jenny Johnson was trying to get her own bit of publicity.
And I do think I find it a bit hypocritical that a person who is going after Chris Brown for abusing Rihanna then launches her own verbal abuse tirade on Twitter against a person.
There's just something that feels a bit disingenuous and off about that.
That's a good equivalent.
Yes, you mean a comedian who makes fun of celebrities for a living is trying to get publicity.
There is something wrong about that.
Wait a minute, though, but she's saying that like Chris Brown beating his girlfriend as a comedian making fun of him on Twitter.
Well, to be fair, he beat Rihanna to get publicity.
Yes.
Yes.
Okay.
I mean, this is right.
It's hard to even write jokes about this.
It's so crazy.
I don't know.
She's a cultural commentator.
I'm very persuaded.
Very good.
Hold on.
I got to find something.
I cannot believe this woman.
This is pretty outrageous.
I mean, this is pretty.
This is.
Well, and what's amazing is Howard Kurtz isn't going, all right, we got to stop.
Well, I think when Jimmy started to listen, watched, he says he couldn't believe that Howard Kurtz is also the voice of reason here.
Right.
Yes.
And also, you know what?
I happened to see a clip from The View where they talked.
Oh, yes.
Yes.
That's disturbing.
They were also very critical of that girl.
Which is gross.
Well, they do have a – I think we were also talking about earlier the idea of that is it a race issue?
So I couldn't really find anybody else.
So Whoopi Goldberg trashed Jenny Johnson, this woman trashes Jenny Johnson, and Sherry Shepard trashes Jenny Johnson.
So I asked my black friend, do I have one?
And he said he thought it was because they feel like the black women are the last line of defense and that people are coming down harder on him than they did other people.
But we're going to get to that in a second.
Here, she goes on.
Well, people always like the bad boy.
That's, you know, that's part of our history in this culture at large.
I mean, James Dean on down.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, I remember.
Don't you remember when James Dean wrote all those notes about wanting the shit in Natalie Wood's eyes?
And then he published it in the Hollywood Reporter so everyone could see it.
Don't you guys remember that?
Yeah, that's what it is.
He's just a bad boy.
Could this, wow, here we got more.
She's got more to say.
But keep in mind, Howie, Chris Brown is not the first celebrity to be violent.
People are acting as if he broke the mold in this whole thing.
That's just not the case.
You mean the mold set by Ike Turner, Charlie Sheen, and Mel Gibson?
No, he didn't break that mold.
What is the first?
That's not the point.
The point isn't that she should be surprised that she poked a tiger.
That's not the point.
And Eddie bit back.
That's not, no one's talking about that she's surprised.
And nobody's talking about that he broke the mold.
People are talking about what a vile, horrible human being this guy is and the horrible misogynistic stuff he does on Twitter till this day as a convicted felon.
That's the stuff that people are talking about, Lola.
You know, Jimmy, there were dictators before Hitler.
The first one.
He's not the one that started the whole thing.
No.
This is not over.
And I'm not in any way defending Chris Brown, and I'm not in any way defending physical, verbal, or mental abuse at all.
In every way, she's defending.
No, you're just shamelessly dismissing it and attacking the victim.
That's all.
But that's cool.
Thank you, Lola.
She's got more.
But to be clear, he's not the first person who's done this.
I mean, Sharon Osborne has been very vocal about the fact that Ozzie Osborne almost choked her to death in 1989, and now they're regarded as this loving British couple, and they're dominating the airwave.
So I just don't understand.
They're not really British.
Yeah, but that's what.
She was trying to sing on the album.
Come on.
Unforgivable.
Okay, again, she keeps making false equivalencies all over the place.
Here's one.
Okay, this was Ozzy Osborne.
This was maybe 20 years ago when they were married.
And apparently they've reconciled and worked it all out.
And he hasn't had a history of doing that stuff since.
So that would be the difference.
He also was out of his mind on drugs for which he has worked very hard for the last 20 years to fix.
And he didn't tweet that he wanted to shit in a girl's eye, okay?
Vilifying.
Okay.
And hang on.
By the way, every time someone makes an Ozzy bites the head off a bat joke, he doesn't lose his mind.
That's a good point.
Yes.
Hey, don't knock the shit eye thing until you've tried it.
All right.
That's all I'm saying.
To be clear, he's not the first person who's done this.
I mean, Sharon Osborne has been very vocal about the fact that Ozzie Osborne almost choked her to death in 1989, and now they're regarded as this loving British couple, and they're dominating the airwave.
So I just don't understand why people are still vilifying this person.
Rihanna has clearly moved on.
His fans have clearly moved on.
Why hasn't Jenny Johnson, a mother of two, moved on?
You know who else has moved on?
O.J. Simpson's dead wife.
Why are people?
I don't understand why people are still vilifying him.
Did you read the tweets, Lola?
Did you see what he did?
Okay, hang on.
She goes on.
You know, it strikes me, I was reading a lot of tweets on Thanksgiving Day after NBC's Matt Lauer, you know, was the moderator of the Thanksgiving Day parade, and people were ripping Matt Lauer because he mispronounced the name of his song.
I mean, it really has become, I mean, I think Twitter is great.
It's the new watercolor, it's the new AP, but it really has become a place where a lot of abuse can get thrown at people who are public figures.
It's interesting because, first of all, I don't understand why people had nothing better to do on Thanksgiving than to rip Matt Lauer meetings.
How bad was the turkey?
How bad was the stuffing?
All you had to do was rip Matt Lauer.
And I don't understand how people don't have anything better to do than to complain about people who don't have anything better to do than to rip Matt Lauer.
I don't get it.
Oh, can you believe people are sitting at home ripping Matt Lauer over at Thanksgiving?
I can't wait to go on television and talk about how unimportant this is.
Oh, bro.
Yes.
What Matt has been through.
You don't know.
Oh, oh, Matt Lauer, he only makes $25 million a year.
I'm sure it keeps him up nights that people are tweeting mean things about him.
I've been attacked on Twitter, and I'm a basket case.
I like the way she says this is very interesting.
No, it's not.
And he says, Twitter has become the new AP.
It's a good thing.
You're a goddamn moron.
Yeah, he really says this.
Twitter's like the new AP.
He means Associated Press.
Yeah.
That's how Howard Kurtz Media Watchdog equates Twitter with AP.
And he approves of it.
And Facebook is the new Reuters.
I don't know if you know that this man is a veteran.
He's one of the best interviewers in the game.
And I didn't watch the parade.
I'm sure he did a fantastic job.
He always does well.
And regardless of the fact, personal attacks, taunts, jibes, they're not necessary.
You know what?
Unless you're a comedian and you're making fun of someone famous, I think they are.
You know what?
I'll alert all the late night comedians, David Letterman and Jay Leno, that taunts, jibes aren't necessary.
Well, after what she just said, I'm going to tweet about all of Matt Lauer's shit that's all over her nose.
I like the way he says, Matt Lauer's one of the best interviewers in the game.
What the fuck?
What game is she playing?
I tried to get her on the show.
I tweeted to her, hey, great job today.
Howard Kurtz, I'd love to interview you on my radio show.
She never got back to me.
I think she was on to me.
Hang on.
I think it's this weird mob mentality, and it's very easy for people to diss another person in the comforts of their own home and when they're in relative anonymity.
Yeah, you know how she was anonymous tweeting at Jenny Johnson with a picture of Jenny Johnson right next to her name.
Oh, we got to get so we got to get some nerds in here to figure out who this Jenny Johnson is exactly.
Find out who's behind the screen.
Okay.
But he's got to have his handlers right there verifying every one of these tweets before they go out.
I mean, he misspelled hoe.
Come on.
He needs writers, let's face it.
Hang on, let me let's play that.
Let's play that.
But he's got to have his handlers right there verifying every one of these tweets before they go out.
I mean, he misspelled hoe.
Come on.
Lola, can I just make the point that we don't need jibes and taunts like that?
And so now, and so now you know what's going to happen to you.
Chris Brown's going to shit in your retina.
And guess who had it coming?
He might even shark.
I hope to God you don't have fucking kids.
I like the way she wants his handlers to just check his spelling.
That was the biggest issue, not.
Yeah, yeah.
And she acts like the problem is Twitter.
That's the problem.
Oh, he's got to get his hand.
No, the problem is he's a horrible human being and he reveals himself through Twitter.
The problem isn't Twitter.
The problem is him.
You know what?
Can I point out that if he, if Chris Brown was just like an unknown guy who wrote these tweets to someone and they got out in the public for whatever reason, he would like be fired from his job or whatever.
Yes.
It would affect his life.
The only thing that's protecting him is the fact that he's a celebrity.
Yes, if he was a news reporter, he would be fired.
If he was a cultural commentator, he would be fired.
But she would, she's still upset at, she's at Madden, Twitter, his handlers, and Jenny Johnson character, who was a mother of two.
I think at one point, Lola even points out that he has lots of fans, and that's reason enough that he can behave any which way that he wants to behave.
She did point that out.
You know, Bill O'Reilly.
You know, Bel.
Mel Gibson has a lot of fans, so it's okay for him to be anti-Semitic.
It's okay.
The point is that Chris Brown has 11 million Twitter followers all looking to him to see how to keep the bitches in line.
Yes.
That's exactly right.
Okay, here's Bill O'Reilly's last phone call to me drunk.
Look, you bagsucky prayer, Joe.
You'll take my Christmas away from me when you pry it out of a Kansas City Chiefs linebacker's cold dead hands.
It's like my mother, Mary Mary O'Flanahan to the fourth power.
Sean, get your penis out of your haggis.
And why are you eating a traditional Scottish dish out of your father's man boobs?
Don't spin that.
By the way, I'm starting my own country.
And you won't have to press one for English when you call there Molly McGee, Faith and Bogora.
Now go suck butter from my ass.
I shit on your mud god.
Okay.
He's out of control.
He is out of control.
Okay, did you appreciate that we gave you the extra, I don't know, 10 minutes to show?
Huh?
We cut it off for the radio people, but we give extra to the podcast listeners because the podcast listeners give the extra to us, right?
So thanks for remembering to use the Amazon.com link and the mini tree.
Thanks for taking advantage of the ProFlowers mini Christmas tree.
It really means a lot and it helps support the show.
But guess what?
Today's show was written.
That's why it was written by Mike McRae, Jim Earle, Frank Conniff, Steph Samurano, Mark Van Landewitt, Robert Yasamura and Steve Rosenfield, okay?
And the voice of Bill O'Reilly, of course, performed by the one and only Mike McRae, who can be found at mikemcray.com and coming to a city near you doing his jokes.
And a big shout out to the two gentlemen who donate their time and talent to make sure this show happens.
Sean James is our Mac genius.
If you've got a problem with your Macintosh, he can fix it for you right over the internet.
And how do you get a hold of him?
You give him an email at MacHelp at SeanJames.com.
You spell Sean S-H-A-U-N, and he'll fix it for you.
He's amazing.
Also, big thanks to Frank Pulaski, who's made a lot of videos for the show.
He takes some of those phone calls and he puts funny videos to them.
He's a deft video editor if you need anything.
See Frank Pulaski at Dreamtime Films.
And thanks to Don Quixote, who did a great caricature of me that we use as the new logo.
And we're using it for the TYT show.
Have you seen the new TYT show?
I got my own channel on the Young Turks Network.
You can subscribe.
Just go to JimmyDoorComedy.com.
You'll see the video there.
And you just click the subscribe button.
It's our new web series.
It's the Jimmy Door show with cameras and stuff in a TV studio.
It's fantastic.
Check it out.
I guarantee it.
Okay, that's our show for today.
Thanks for listening.
Hope you enjoyed it.
I hope you're enjoying my Facebook fights.
I'm enjoying them.
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