And for many years I've been exposing the criminal activities of the global elite, also known as the New World Order.
In past films we've documented the centralization of power, the move towards world government, the attack on the nation-state, self-defense, the Second Amendment, family values, that is, the family itself, as well as private property rights.
But time and time again in my research, I come, well, eye to eye with something that's even hard for me to believe.
And that's that the elite, again, the so-called establishment kings, those that know best, the visions of the anointed ones, are obsessed with the occult, from presidents to governors to the heads of industry.
We've all seen the stories of presidents and first ladies obsessed with their astrologers making national policy decisions upon their recommendations, spiritual guides, shamans in the White House.
My friends, it gets far worse than that.
Now, I personally am a Christian, but even an atheist should be concerned about the information we're about to bring forward in this new documentary film, The Dark Secrets Inside Bohemian Grove.
You see, for over 120 plus years in Northern California, in Sonoma County, on a 2,700 acre secluded redwood grove, leaders from around the world, prime ministers, chancellors,
presidents, governors, again the heads of industry, banking, academia, the media, Hollywood, only a select few, a little over 2,000 people, travel there to engage in bizarre Ancient Canaanite, Luciferian, Babylon mystery religion ceremonies.
At least that was the rumors.
And so I went to the library and got on the internet and saw many of the mainstream news articles admitting that...
World leaders do indeed go there and they fly into San Francisco and other surrounding cities and drive out into the rural hills and mountains of Northern California and that these stories have been coming out that they worship some 45-foot stone owl god.
And then I began to read some of the documentation on this Moloch character of the Old Testament mentioned many times in Leviticus.
That's in the Bible.
Why are world leaders traveling to the middle of nowhere to worship this thing?
Well, I had to check it out for myself.
And I'm proud of my team.
Mike Hansen, Violet Nichols.
They traveled with me there.
We talked to some of the locals discreetly.
We successfully infiltrated with the help of some of the locals and Channel 4, World of Wonder, British television that teamed up with us.
And I successfully infiltrated through the Secret Service.
Through the guards, through the Sonoma County Sheriff's Department.
We were inside four hours.
That's only one day out of the two weeks that they meet there for the admitted Summer Fire Festival of the Bohemian Club.
Well, basically that's enough for me.
It's hard to even describe it with words.
And I hope that our hidden cameras can give you at least a small piece of what I witnessed.
To have world leaders engaging in this type of sickening behavior.
Oh yes, there's much more to come.
Mock human sacrifices, they claim, just shocks the very foundations of what Americans believe their leaders to be.
And then to have it intimately connected with world government.
It doesn't make a lot of sense until you research history.
All throughout history, spanning back into the midst of the beginnings.
Of civilization.
We see world leaders from the empires of old, from the Aztec kings and priests, to Babylonian leaders, to ancient Rome, engaging in twisted behavior.
Could it be that when you have all the power and all the women and all the money and all the lands and all the art, you have to do something new?
You have to go against the basic grain of humanity.
You have to get off in a sick way.
That's what we witnessed in Northern California July 15, 2000.
Get ready to go inside the Bohemian Grove.
The Bohemian Club as it's known today was founded in 1873 in San Francisco in Northern California.
Many of the club's original annals, dating back to before the turn of the century, admit that local artists, writers, newspapermen, you name it, wanted a place away from the so-called backwardsness of the West Coast, the Judeo-Christian ethic.
They found that place an hour and a half north of San Francisco, outside of the tiny town of Monterio.
Their annals even admit an obsession with the occult and what they called Druid rituals.
Amongst the great redwood trees, they revived ancient ceremonies that in truth had their roots not in the Druids, but in Babylon itself.
As the railroads brought commerce and larger and larger populations, the prestige of the club grew until in the year 2000 it is a gathering place for the world establishment, the elite.
We're about to show you some of the key evidence documenting this.
It is absolutely central to understand that these bizarre activities have been engaged in going back to 1873 and are not some new fanciful whim of the trendies on the West Coast.
By the turn of the century, there was already a 10- to 15-year waiting list.
Presidents from Howard Taft to Herbert Hoover were on the membership roster.
Not to mention, later, famous War General Dwight D. Eisenhower, later to become president.
The roster of the Bohemian Club reads like a who's who of the elite.
Look at this photo taken inside the Grove back in 1963. There you'll see Ronald Reagan and sitting two people over from him, later to become president, Richard Milhouse Nixon.
Frankly, we don't know if these men actively enjoy the things that go on inside the Bohemian Club.
But one thing is perfectly certain from the evidence.
They are forced to go and attend and take part in these activities if they wish to be elevated to the highest levels of the geopolitical power structure.
Take George Bush Sr., documented member.
And then, of course, there's his son.
Now, the last four generations of Bushes have also attended the Skull and Bone Society at Yale, well known to be steeped in the occult.
Then there's Bill Clinton, a frequent attendee.
Upon closer inspection, the entire federal government at the highest levels is infested with Bohemian Club members.
And it doesn't stop there.
America's private run-for-profit Federal Reserve Bank, from its very inception in 1913, has been run by prominent members of the Bohemian Club.
Central Bank Chairman Alan Greenspan was seen leaving the Bohemian Grove only one month before he was appointed Chairman of the Federal Reserve.
He had to be a made man.
To be a member of the most powerful kubal on the planet.
Historical records are clear for major universities.
The Manhattan Project was planned and instituted and run from the Bohemian Club.
All of this going on in an atmosphere of bizarre revelry.
You're looking at an illustration from a November 1989 issue of Spy Magazine.
Spy goes undercover with Henry Kissinger, Merv Griffin, and William F. Buckley Jr. The story was clearly a shill, meant to misdirect the intensifying media coverage that the Grove was getting in the late 1980s.
The writers' spin is obvious.
They're just masters of the universe.
Big frat boys blowing off steam.
We'll get back to this article later.
Because you can clearly see that the mantra in the spin story has been picked up as a front by all the local media.
Sure, they're elitist.
Sure, they have some bizarre rituals.
But what's the big deal?
They're just having fun.
If that was the case, why would David Gergen, presidential advisor to President Clinton, resign from the Bohemian Club and 17 other organizations when it was revealed in 1993?
Organizations like the Trilateral Commission, the Council on Foreign Relations, the Bilderberg Group.
But it's not just the Washington Times and the Sacramento Bee.
You're looking at an illustration from the pages of Parade Magazine, February 22, 1981. This story was the most accurate and revealing, detailing the so-called mock human sacrifice.
Former German Chancellor Helmut Schmidt wrote extensively in his memoirs, Men and Power is a Political Retrospective.
Goes into great detail about the secret establishment running the world, the Trilateral Commission, the CFR, the Bilderberg Group, and of course, ladies and gentlemen, the Bohemian Grove, a place that he often talked about being a, well, a wonderful hideaway, a place to spend time with Nelson and David Rockefeller, and to talk about world government and steering societies.
On page 225 of Men and Powers, he talks about it being one of the most astounding places he had ever visited in the United States and how that feeling intensified over the years with subsequent visits.
The book goes on for page after page discussing the corporate, private, governmental infrastructure of world government.
Going back to the Spy Magazine spin piece, they have lots of rosy illustrations of drunken establishment types dancing around having fun with the rituals going on in the background.
They even admit that they wear bizarre Ku Klux Klan-style robes.
And there's even a photo released by the Grove of the ritual being engaged in.
They talk about the incredible security surrounding the Grove.
And they even admit that a corpse, a sacrifice, is born across the lake.
But it's all in good fun.
We did massive research on the occult.
And one of the libraries we visited was that of Professor Tex Mars of Aeronautics.
He also has written literally dozens of books on the occult.
His library was very revealing about the obsession of elitists throughout history with the occult.
Front group after front group.
To conceal and really subvert.
But behind all of these groups, there is a small cadre or elite, a core.
And what you have done, I think, with the Bohemian Grove is you have exposed one of the premier organizations of the whole New World Order arrangement, you might say.
Of course, we can go back in history.
All the way back to ancient Egypt, Babylon, or Greece, Rome.
And I think you're going to see sort of the roots of the Bohemian Grove, but particularly in the Illuminati era, originating during the French Revolutionary days.
You know, there we had the actual Order of the Illuminati, with Adam Weishaupt and all of his evil philosophers, let's just call them, Voltaire and the others.
And that has come up all the way to today.
Hitler, of course, was a Bohemian.
I think it's more Babylon mystery religion.
All of the elements are there.
Of course, even the owl is a symbol of ancient mystery Babylon.
The owl was worshipped by the ancient Egyptians and by the Babylonians.
And it's interesting to me that many of the members of the Bohemian Grove Have in their homes, as I understand it, small figurines of owls.
And I believe they actually worship those owls as a symbol of the deity, the great goddess of Babylon.
And of course, here again we have the counterfeit of Christ's sacrifice on the cross.
I think all of those things, there had to be, in my belief, An occultist, a deep occultist, who designed each of the elements of this ceremony.
It wasn't just a bunch of guys sit together at a bar and said, hey, let's have a good time, the cremation of care, and why don't we do this or that.
I believe it was purposely designed, each element in its turn, for what they did.
No doubt about it.
*Dramatic music* Slide the metal end into the buckle and adjust by pulling on the loose end of the strap.
*Dramatic music* After landing in San Francisco at the International Airport, we traveled through the city, across the Golden Gate Bridge, into deeper Northern California.
Northern California home to the giant Sequoia Redwoods.
From there north to Santa Rosa.
Going west on Highway 12, the gateway to Bohemian Grove.
We spent the first night in Santa Rosa before getting up early in the morning and traveling into the town of Occidental where we were going to meet the British media and start our investigation.
Well, here we are in Northern California, right outside the Bohemian Grove.
Mmm.
The fruits of nature.
But I'll tell you this, I don't worship it and sacrifice things to it.
Let's go find out what's going on.
Well, here we are, folks, turning on to the Bohemian Highway and Bohemian Grove.
We're going to find out what in the New World Order is going on here.
Thank you, Parker.
No, I tell you, it's beautiful out here during the day, but it is spooky at night.
I don't know if you guys got some footage out of all the fog and the rest of it.
I tell you, are you excited?
Oh, yeah!
I've got the map.
You guys want to look it up?
My question is the history.
What do they do if they catch you in there?
They have a skilled skin alive.
I don't know.
I don't know.
They have a dark city of skin.
Hang upside down on a redwood tree.
I doubt that.
What about me?
Because I'm a woman, I can't really sneak in, can I? You can't go in, you've got to stay.
I've got to stay?
I've got to stay behind in the spooky occidental lodge.
I have no problem.
If there's a road, if I can be shown a way to insert myself into this with Hanson.
But then I need to know where the cremation of care, what day they're supposed to do it, where this pond is.
Tomorrow night at dusk.
I'm not going to end up tying down a pentagram with Henry Kissinger's fat belly hanging over while he's naked with a big dagger.
I just want to make sure that's a joke.
Well, I know that's the thought.
It's great.
I like Governor Bush.
Governor Bush running around in a pink tutu, foaming at the mouth with a purple wig on, am I? No.
Supposedly, I hear that's what they do, so...
I don't know.
I think they do do these things, but the question is, why?
And these power brokers, which bomb innocent countries and slaughter people and, you know, pump the food chain full of garbage and just everything else they do, it's probably something fun for them.
They really get off on being bad with the boys.
And rule the world.
I mean, this is, for some people, this is a secret room.
Well, I mean, certainly, in the whole class system, it's the pleasures of class.
And now, what class is, the power that you have is something different.
And to me, I mean, from my research at Bohemian Grove, and you guys have obviously done more, I've read a lot of mainstream articles, alternative, talked to people, talked to some guests.
It's really when people go in there to do whatever they want to do.
So there are probably people sitting around fishing and probably people sitting around doing something completely different.
Okay, there's the stage.
Right, that's where the talks happen.
Because they've got this amphitheatre.
Amphitheatre.
And they have these kind of talks and that's where George Bush gets talks and people like that on this stage.
Oh right, there's the leg!
There you go.
That's the shrine.
Honey, come get a shot of this.
Now, where's this river?
This is near the Russian River.
It's here.
Now, see, here's the shrine of the devil owl, which they even admit has its roots in Babylon and the Druids, Adam, and everything else.
So, all over the world, this weird owl shows up.
Some cultures, they've thrown children inside the bowels of this burning owl.
That's historical.
We've all read in the Bible about throwing your children to idols inside their size.
Weird behavior, definitely, so it needs to be investigated.
Plus, it gets the adrenaline up.
Thrill seekers have to have more.
But here you go, honey.
Right here at the shrine.
Zoom in on that, Mike.
I'm saying honey to my girlfriend, Violet, not Mike here.
We're getting real bohemian now, aren't we?
This is...
Honey, we can get a close shot right here?
But it did sound like she's definitely leftward-leaning.
Then we get into the whole semantical debate about is there a left and a right, and to me there really isn't.
There's a command and control on one end and anarchy on the other, and I want to be in the middle of the real spectrum.
Certainly got to have some control in a complex society and civilization.
But all the developments I see are pretty bad towards dehumanization.
And now you've got the UN demanding everybody sign on to this international criminal court.
And they're telling the U.S. that we don't sign on, it won't matter if 60 countries ratified will be under its control.
I mean, we're here.
We're at global government now.
When they're saying they're going to have some world court in the Netherlands that they'll take anybody they want to to.
In fact, I was reading some of the talks that they've given and they've released that the Bohemian Grove has discussed, and it's all population control, world courts.
They're talking 20 years ago.
So definitely some stuff's going on here that's pretty important.
But is it the ultimate elitist retreat?
I would imagine those we don't even know the names of.
This is probably just one more steering committee where they bring in a lot of underlings and high-level corporate chieftains that really aren't the upper top echelon, make them feel important, and then implement some type of strategy.
From the stories I've read and things that happen, I mean, it is pretty well documented that people run around naked, they have orgies, they go into town and have orgies, and these are world leaders.
I've got a problem with that.
To me, Bohemian Grove is probably a way to compromise people.
You want to be in the New World Order Club.
It's like a big kid fraternity.
And just like in fraternities, you have to do weird things.
Here, you probably do weird things.
But I've got a problem with governors and presidents and prime ministers and corporate chieftains running around and doing this when they have so much power over what happens in the public domain.
They have a responsibility.
To disclose what they're doing.
So I think it is important, like you were saying, to somehow try to maintain some security and not be way out in the open.
Because they'll call in a bunch of security.
Seems like he often is.
I hear he really enjoys himself here.
I think Henry Kissinger will be here.
Well, if I've got a stink detector, we'll be able to find out where he's at.
It's like everything evil you can imagine, Kissinger's always involved in it.
Isn't he a Republican, though?
I'm not a Republican.
The point I keep making, this whole Democrat-Republican deal is a complete...
People always go back to that, though.
In your country, you've got Labor and you've got the Tories over there, and it's all the same people behind closed doors.
It's just a big joke.
And your leadership, our leadership, it's all the same people.
I mean, it's a...
You do see a fight going on, but it's two different management teams of the same system, you know, bidding for control.
what I call the CEO jobs of Slavery Incorporated.
Do you worry for Alex Violet?
I do.
I just, because Alex gets so impassioned by what he's doing that sometimes I'm afraid that he might be a little bit, you know, reckless.
Maybe a little bit too fearless.
I worry about Alex when he drives down the street to come home.
Especially, I used to worry about him when he had to come home every night from the same radio studio at the same time, in the same car.
I worry about him sometimes when he's late getting back in the studio and he doesn't give me a call.
He is putting himself out there, but I think the fact that he's in the public eye as much as he is...
Keeps him safe to a certain degree.
So maybe something like this is, yeah, well, you know, people might not necessarily know where he is right now.
You know, people that listen to the radio or whatever.
So it's maybe a little bit more whiskey.
It's a little creepy at night up here in the woods, you know.
And you're definitely not dangerous.
You're not going to do anything stupid this weekend.
Well, I mean, dangerous to what?
Dangerous to myself?
Are these people dangerous?
They certainly may be, but I'm completely non-violent when it comes to just going out there and trying to get the information.
That's what I'm trying to do.
I mean, I'm an activist first and foremost, but also a journalist, in that I'll make some jokes and speculate occasionally because I'm a radio talk show host, but when I say something that I believe, I have to be on target about it.
But dangerous?
I'm definitely dangerous to corrupt bureaucrats and their financial bosses that would like to control the American people on the planet.
But not in a violent way.
Not in a violent way.
And long before global government came out in the open, in the last four or five years, They were conditioning the public that anyone that talks about global government is a kook, a weirdo, a terrorist, a racist.
And now they're out on the nightly news saying global government's here.
You better accept it.
We're getting rid of juries all across the planet.
The IMF, the World Bank, basically runs things now.
The WTO decides what you can buy and sell and trade on the international market.
But see, they've preconditioned us that it doesn't exist.
They've preconditioned us that...
Anybody that talks about this stuff and who is against it is a kook or a racist because it doesn't exist.
And then everybody's decided, well, I'm going to be culturally cool.
I want to be in style.
I want to be accepted.
So even when they're hearing the news, admit it and tell us how great it is, they've already pre-positioned it psychologically that it's not acceptable.
It's not kosher to discuss it.
Do you see the tactic they're using there?
Five years ago, I would laugh when I heard about black helicopters.
I would say, I'm about taxes.
I'm about corruption.
I'm about...
You know, getting local control back.
I'm about states' rights.
You know, everything's coming under federal control.
I was pretty mainstream, what you call so-called conservative.
Then I saw the light when black helicopters started going into North Carolina.
They started going into Florida.
They fired into an all-night restaurant in Miami, just training, firing bullets into a place where people were eating.
They started burning buildings.
Police chiefs started throwing them out of their town, San Antonio.
All this started happening.
And I said, whoa, this is real.
And then I realized that I was preconditioned, even as a so-called conservative person who understood that the media lied, I didn't realize how thick the propaganda was.
That they preconditioned us before they released something on us, that it, number one, doesn't exist in our minds with classic doublethink, but then it can re-exist at the same time if they say it doesn't, it's good.
So it's literally George Orwell's doublethink.
And one has to have it and stay sane in this world.
Well, I refuse to be a part of it.
I mean, the news every day, black helicopters are a joke.
They're stupid.
The culture, commercials, movies.
At the same time, almost every month in this country, they're attacking and terrorizing some town with burning buildings and terror.
And I don't want to be part of their sick, control-free system.
I don't like these degenerate, inbred, New World Order crowd people.
They're not going to run my life.
They're not going to control me, and I'm going to try to expose them, and I think we've had some success doing that.
Oh, look how pretty it is.
Uh-huh, sure is pretty.
Mike, you enjoying yourself?
A lot less spooky here in the daytime.
It's all foggy.
Now we're going to take our British friends down into the forest a little bit later tonight.
Let them gallivant in the werewolf ridden woods.
Joking, of course.
They'll have me on there.
Alex Jones, radio talk show host, believes werewolves infest.
Northern California.
They've been seen dancing with grizzly bears.
Small pixies.
Even witnessed playing violin for George Bush.
Don't know what to make of what's going to happen.
I can't even begin to imagine what we're going to discover when I infiltrate tomorrow and try to get the information of care.
We're very close to the gateway to Bohemian Grove now.
The first set of...
Gates.
That's security.
They have a small guard shack up the front and then they have a larger second one.
Not a through road.
Get a shot of that.
There's a guard gate right over there, a small guard gate, and then back further, an even more elaborate guard gate with surveillance cameras, you name it.
Not a through road, ladies and gentlemen.
right up here in Northern California.
How are you doing sir?
Camp Beaker?
Yeah.
I'm Alex Jones, I make documentaries.
I'm just curious, what do you think about Bohemian Grove?
I used to work there.
You used to work there?
Yeah.
And now you work at Camp Meeker.
No, I don't work.
I live in Camp Meeker.
Oh, you live there?
Yeah.
Well, that's great.
Did you ever watch the Cremation of Care?
Um, no.
No.
What'd you do at the...
I just worked there.
But, I mean, you never saw them march around in the red robes?
No, no.
Oh, really?
That doesn't go on.
Okay.
Thanks.
What have you guys heard about Bohemian Grove?
Oh, I don't know.
A bunch of rich people, right?
Have you ever heard about the 40-foot stone owl and the mock human sacrifice?
I heard about it a little bit, yeah.
Roll that one down.
We're going to talk to you.
Hold on.
We'll go around here.
So what have you heard about the...
Oh, I just read stuff about it in the paper.
I don't know.
Some people don't like it.
They protested or something weird.
But what about the 40-foot stone island and the mock human sacrifice?
You say you heard something about that?
Well, just what I read about it in the paper.
Oh, the paper admitted that?
Well, no, I don't know if they admitted it.
They just said people go protest it.
It supposedly happens.
Sounds kind of weird.
It does sound weird to me.
Yeah.
What are you guys doing?
TV show or something?
We're just having fun.
This town isn't like Children of the Corn or anything, is it?
Oh, no, nothing like that.
I'm sure.
I don't know.
Supposedly lots of people go there.
Some kind of weird event.
I don't know.
You guys know anything about it?
You don't know.
What would you say if we told you that they sacrificed a human in effigy and mock to a 40-foot stone owl in black and red and silver cloaks?
Sounds kind of different.
Do you think it's good to have so-called world leaders secretly engaging in pagan activities?
I can't say it's that great, no.
Why would you have a problem with that?
Well, I don't know.
It could be alright.
Depends how you look at it.
Kind of a relativist worldview, huh?
Yeah.
Gotta sacrifice care to the winds, huh?
Yeah.
It could just be for fun, or it could really be weird.
They run around naked.
Run around naked and freak out.
There you go.
Have you heard that?
Yeah, absolutely.
Actually, to tell you the truth, here's a funny story.
No, no, no, this is the truth.
A couple years ago, I was down the road, just down Yahr, past Camp Maker, and I was stopped with a friend of mine.
Now, Camp Maker's right outside of the Bahamian Grill.
That's an affirmative.
And we were down the road, and we were stopped there because we were just having a cigarette, hanging out, taking a break, and some Secret Service men actually pulled up behind us and asked us what we were doing and why we were there.
It was true.
They were like, what are you guys doing?
Where are you at?
Why are you parked here?
What's going on?
And asked us a whole bunch of questions, what our names were, who we were affiliated with, where we lived, all kinds of stuff.
They interrogated us.
Did you answer their questions?
Totally.
I don't know.
We always hear there's like big fat rich guys with prostitutes there.
Really?
Yeah.
What about the owl and the rituals?
I don't know anything about it.
Never heard about the rituals?
Rituals?
Ritual killing of a human sacrifice of a human?
Nope.
Never heard of it.
What would you think if that was going on?
I think it was pretty weird.
Wouldn't be that surprised.
I mean, it is our government after all.
Hey, thanks for talking to us, bud.
Yeah.
Hey, I like your shirt.
Declaration of Independence.
Yeah.
All right, man.
Take care.
All right.
We're talking about the Bohemian Grove and trying to see what locals think about it.
How it's all secret and all these fat cats there and the supposed strange rituals that go on.
Are you a local?
No, but she is.
What do you think about the Bohemian Grove?
It offers a lot of employment.
It offers a lot of employment?
What's going on there?
What kind of rituals do they do there?
I don't know.
We're talking to locals about what the rumors are.
What are the rumors?
About a big 40-foot stone owl and simulated human sacrifice.
Oh, no.
Oh, I don't know about that.
It's politicians that come that vacation there.
It'd be really weird if politicians were acting like they were sacrificing people, wouldn't it?
No, you can't trust politicians, you know.
Oh, really?
They might be doing it, huh?
They might, yeah.
The politicians, you know.
I hear you, bud.
Hey, good talking to you.
Appreciate it.
You guys take care.
Those are some pretty flowers.
Those are sweet peas.
Those are real, folks.
Yeah, they're real.
You guys have a good one.
Yeah?
Yeah.
This area is in trouble.
Yeah, we are.
It's in big trouble.
No, this is a wonderful area of the country.
We're just asking locals what they think of the Bohemian Grove.
The Bohemian Grove is a wonderful place.
Have you been there?
Yeah, I've been in there a bunch of times.
What, did you work there?
Worked there, yeah.
Yeah.
Because you know when it's the most wonderfulest time?
It's when nobody's there.
Oh, it's a beautiful area?
Yeah, yeah.
Very beautiful.
It's got big trees.
Have you ever been there for the cremation of care?
No.
So you've never been there for the rituals?
No.
You ever heard about them?
Yes.
What have you heard they do, sir?
Nothing.
They've got that tree that looks like an owl.
Tree that looks like an owl?
Tree or rock.
It's a carving.
It's where the stage is.
But have you heard what they do during that?
No, I have no idea what they do.
What would you say if we told you they burn a human being in effigy?
They don't really do it.
They burn it in effigy.
I don't know what that means.
Well, they have like a dummy that looks like a person under a black blanket.
They take it up there and burn it.
Oh, I don't know.
Pretty weird.
Huh?
Pretty weird.
Yeah, I've never seen that.
How long you lived around here?
I don't know.
How old am I? 20. 40 years?
Really?
Oh, your whole life?
Yes.
What's your name, sir?
My name is Raul.
How long has Raul Roots been here?
A couple years.
A couple years?
The Bohemian Grove?
Yeah.
A lot of politicians, a lot of bigwigs making a lot of big decisions.
Oh really?
Do you think it's good that they get together in secret and make all these so-called decisions?
Do I think it's good?
Yeah.
No, of course not.
What about the rituals?
Have you heard anything about the rituals that go on there?
No.
There's all kinds of rumors about rituals that go on there.
What type of rumors have you heard?
Don't make me go there.
Please.
We're trying to talk to some locals.
It's interesting.
Well, I really don't know that much about it.
You know, just what I've read in books.
There's books out about it.
Oh, you've read books on it, huh?
I had a book that was published in 1956 that was written about some of the rituals.
Because now it's been going on for 120 plus years.
Yeah.
I think they said they just had their 120th something anniversary.
Yeah.
What would you say if...
I told you that there's a 40-foot stone owl and that they burn a human being in effigy.
Not in real life, but in effigy.
I wouldn't believe it.
You wouldn't believe it?
Nah.
I think it's a bunch of garbage.
So you doubt there's a stone owl and you doubt that they...
Well, I wouldn't doubt there's a stone owl.
Maybe there's a stone owl, but I wouldn't think that that's kind of...
You know, rumors just...
It's rumors.
You know, what the word implies, pretty much.
Just a conspiracy.
Yeah, it's just a bunch of hearsay.
Pure conspiracy theory.
Whatever.
What have you heard about the Bohemian Grove?
It's where all of the, like, FBI and...
You're talking about THE Bohemian Grove.
Yeah, it's like the quote-unquote elite and presidential retreat.
Have you heard about the rituals that go on there?
No, I haven't.
Well, the people who have more money than the rest of us in the world are a bit different.
They're stingy.
They want to hoard it all for themselves.
And they think they're going to go to heaven.
They're not.
Because they don't know how to provide or do as Jesus told them to.
What would you say if I told you that they sacrificed a human in effigy before a giant 45 to 50 foot stone owl?
I would say that's probably why they're going to hell.
Yeah, it's so frustrating we met yesterday.
He's been here for three years.
And he says that about two, three months ago, the whole place was saturated with men in black, FBI, Secret Service and everything, going up and down the roads, checking everything, checking houses, everything for bombs and stuff.
And then they all disappeared.
And they were looking out for undesirables in the area who were persuaded to go.
That was his story.
And now we're going to infiltrate.
I think we should go and see what we can see.
The public has a right to know.
They do.
The public may have a right to know, but the people in this cafe, I think, shouldn't know.
I agree.
Well, you've got to go in, up the road that says no through road, because we've got to sit in the car and get a shot of you going up the road.
So you've got to go in.
You've got to be the guinea pig.
But you're a brave man, Alex, aren't you?
No problem, yeah.
So that's cool.
I wouldn't ask a man who wasn't as brave as you.
Oh, right.
It's no big deal.
I'm just going to go in and make sure everything goes good.
My only concern is figuring out the right type of baggage to carry this in.
I'll show a still shot camera.
Well, I personally would recommend that you wind yourself up with your...
What's it called?
Hidden camera.
Yeah, your hidden camera that's in the shape of a pager.
Problem is, we got some stuff on last night.
We checked it out, but it's very unwieldy.
Not trustworthy.
Right.
If I can just get in the woods with this, it's over.
That's true.
And even if I... See, I'm going early now.
I'm probably going about 3.30 with Mike.
I'm just hanging out inside.
In case they throw me out, I'm still getting back in the property.
Oh, so you're going to go in way before Rick gets here?
Yeah.
Ah, okay.
Well, cool.
We'll just sit in the car.
But, I mean, you understand why.
It's not because I want to hang out in there all day.
It's because I've got to get in.
Because if they catch me, I've got to sneak back in.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
I will not be stopped.
You know, I went to, um...
I went with Big Jim Tucker from the Spotlight to a Bilderberg meeting last year.
But that was my first time, and we got chased away by men in dark glasses.
And, you know, I was a bit scared now.
But I feel safe with you, Alex.
Well, Tucker's a good rider.
Oh, yeah, I like Tucker.
It was the night of July 15, 2000. 2000.
Mike Hanson and I were about to attempt...
The first ever successful infiltration of the Bohemian Grove.
Others have tried and failed.
No one has ever actually made it in and out with video evidence.
After careful planning, we decided the best tactic would be to insert ourselves about a half mile from the main entrance into the heavily wooded area.
Entering the gorge by stealth and getting into the main parking area.
From there, we posed as Bohemian Club members.
thus entering the inner sanctums of the New World Order.
No, no, I got it.
Okay, here we go.
That's good, yeah, that's good now.
Be careful, baby.
Okay.
Don't be safe.
Don't be safe.
Don't worry about it, guys.
Come on.
Be careful, Mike.
God bless.
Yeah.
Pray for us.
Keep the evil off of us.
Be careful.
Yeah, it's wide and go.
We'll be right back.
We'll be right back.
Let's walk on a trip or something.
We'll be right back.
When's the next shuttle coming?
Now we're in.
We're talking about the ones.
While we're inside the Bohemian Grove.
We're actually not inside yet, Mike.
We're in the parking lot.
That's pretty.
yeah Aren't they the biggest living thing Oh, yeah.
They're incredibly large.
There's one up there that you can drive a car on top of.
On top of it, lying down?
Yeah.
Well, they used to have the one you could drive through.
That's also there.
That's up there.
Boy, it's nice to make sure the wind hits you.
Oh, man.
They think we make it.
Okay.
How much did the rope cost?
This thing?
Oh, the rope?
The rope?
The rope.
The rope.
Oh, that rope.
Oh, rope.
It was '88.
Yeah, I thought you said rope.
Yeah, that's what I thought.
I thought rope and rope.
Can't hear anything with this wind.
This thing's seen some years.
It's pretty nice, actually.
This is the oldest one, isn't it?
Yeah.
Other than maybe that little red one.
Bye-bye.
I think when you go to heaven they have buses like this.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Oh, no, go ahead.
Let's see, we got one out here.
Yeah, is there another one coming?
Oh, no touch the clock.
Oh, good.
Good.
Oh, good.
Hey, how are you?
Good.
Good.
Your brother?
Your brother.
Your father's business and all?
Yeah, yeah.
So that Marty thing was like...
...the police are going to be a good job.
We'll keep up.
We don't have time in the documentary to show you an entire tour of the 2,700 acre compound in the middle of the gorge.
Besides the fact we didn't even have time to see but about 20% of it in between dodging security personnel.
Unfortunately, we were using digital tapes that were one hour.
Several of the confrontations were not caught on tape.
We had sheriffs, deputies, Secret Service, you name it, question us on who we were.
We just told them we were with the hillbillies.
That's where the bushes stay.
You know, because we've got Texas accents.
- Yeah, no, I'm too afraid.
Close the back and the corner right over there.
- Come on!
- Aye!
- Stop it! - Oh, there they are, our friend.
How's it going?
Good.
Oh, that feels good.
Let's go.
Alright.
Let's go.
Alright.
Let's go.
Here's just one of many signs sporting French with skulls adorned with other trappings of death.
We also saw signage with Latin and other ancient languages.
Now we're about to let you see a little bit of what's going on with the great owl.
I'm getting this.
I'm getting bold.
This is the owl.
I'm getting this, Allie.
All right.
Let's get out of here.
I like that.
Let's go to the top.
Here you can see the bottom of the stone owl with the altar and the eternal flame, a Aladdin lamp style urn.
That continually burns here around, we're told.
And here's a side shot from about 30 yards away of Molech, the Canaanite deity to which children were sacrificed to in Babylon.
And yet another slowed down close shot.
Again, the internal flame burning, the altar, the bottom extremities of the 40-plus foot stone deity.
And there is a shot of its head as well.
Again, we've slowed down this video because we only actually had about five seconds of it on our hidden cameras so you could have a chance to get a closer look at it.
You will see it during the ceremony.
Speaking of the ceremony, we were on the left-hand side of the lake about 150 yards downstream beneath those large redwood trees.
Much of the ritual you're going to witness took place on the right-hand side of the lake.
And at the northern tip beneath Moloch.
Keep in mind the scale of the idol compared to those giant redwood trees.
It's at least 45 feet tall.
Now the daytime vantage you're witnessing is basically the vantage that we shot the ceremony from at night.
This is America and it's been going on for 120 plus years in Northern California.
This is not some new fad.
We're talking about something deadly serious.
with its roots in ancient history.
- Hi, Dave.
- Hi, Dave.
- I'm going to do something dirty, yeah.
I'm waiting for you to grab my arm.
- Good. - We can help you out. - I'm going to do something.
- That's good.
- Well, yeah.
- Yeah. - I'm getting to pull up. - I'm getting to pull up. - I'm getting to pull up. - I'm getting to pull up. - I'm getting to pull up. - I'm getting to pull up. - I'm getting to pull up. - I'm getting to pull up. - I'm getting to pull up. - I'm getting to pull up. - I'm getting to pull up. - I'm getting to pull up. - I'm getting to pull up. - I'm getting to pull up. - I'm getting to pull up. - I'm getting to pull up. - I'm getting to pull up.
- I'm getting to pull up. - I'm getting to pull up. - I'm getting to pull up. - I'm getting to pull up. - I'm getting to pull up. - I'm getting to pull up. - I'm getting to pull up. - I'm getting to pull up. - I'm getting to pull up. - I'm getting to pull up. - I'm getting to pull up. - I'm getting to pull up. - I'm getting to pull up. - I'm getting to pull up. - I'm getting to pull up. - I'm getting to pull up. - I'm getting to pull up.
A thirsty man!
Look out!
*Skate House* They were horses, they were ladies successful.
The proposal is at least 20 years.
Reagan was a turning point for us, Didn't realize there was a time there was.
Anytime, I share.
It's a very important part for us.
My role is playing.
So many liberal Democrats.
Good morning.
It was all live?
Was it right?
No, it was.
No, it's probably as accurate as you know.
We had already been questioned three separate times by the Bohemian Club Security, Secret Service, and Sonoma County Sheriff's Department.
To evade discovery, we decided to try for one of the more remote areas of the camp, according to our map, the most southerly side, and a lookout point, an observation deck over the Russian River.
While Mike Hanson was watching four of the sheriff's deputies that were down the path and over the bridge in a guard shack, I began to shoot the video you just witnessed.
After we turned the camera off, one of the Sonoma County Sheriff's deputies showed up and began asking us why we were filming.
We calmly told him we were just sightseeing as members of the Bohemian Club.
The point that has to be made here, though, is they do have hidden cameras because there's no way that they would have been able to witness us videotaping from where the guard shack was located.
And then upon walking back by the guard shack, we actually witnessed banks of television screens and wires leading up into the redwoods and disappearing.
Also visible from the observation deck is the famous sunning area for the establishment lackeys and their palms.
Here you can see some of the fine carpeting out on the floaty.
The long history of men enjoying themselves has even been written about in the gossip column of the San Francisco Chronicle, writing that a man on his own often gets invited back to the camp by gay bohemians.
Even 100-year-old annals have admitted the homosexual activities.
After escaping the Sheriff's Department, Mike and I traveled high into the hills to wait until dark and the beginning of the Cremation of Care ceremony.
Before the Cremation of Care, all the Bohemian Club members began a massive feast of revelry.
He's so pissed off at me.
Thank you.
After the feast, cult members travel from the main dining area under the trees out to the eastern side of the lake where they congregate and prepare themselves to properly think their deity.
Again, the 3,000-plus-year-old Moloch.
The occult activities are coming up.
And then after the actual ritual, we're going to give you some more of the history surrounding it.
But first off, I wanted to draw your attention to the program that was given out to the spectators or the viewers, I guess.
An occultist would call them novices who actually watched as the priest and their supporters engaged in this ancient rite.
Now you're looking at a little demon called PJ that was on the front of the actual program.
It's kind of an Hieronymus Bosch style.
He's got a little broom and a dustpan and he's sweeping something up.
Now even more shocking is the figure of a human body.
Burning in the flames.
In fact, I've shown it to people that are experts in anatomy, to actual doctors, and they say that the anatomical size is that of a baby or small child.
Notice how large the cranium is in comparison to the torso, that is the ribs.
Understand, ladies and gentlemen, this is from the program itself given out to the establishment lackeys witnessing these sinister activities.
Remember, in Babylon and Tyre, they would throw their children into fiery pits.
Look at the size of the hands compared to the rest of the body.
Only children show these anatomical details.
Now, of course, it's been airbrushed in, but it shows the psychology.
Now, this is the only skull we actually caught on tape.
We've blown it up for you over one of the major meeting houses.
Of course, it's not a real skull.
It was extremely oversized up on the signage.
The point we're trying to make here is the entire compound was literally infested with symbols of death, skulls, owls.
And long last, here it is, the cremation of care unveiled.
As we sat there in the darkness, not knowing what we were about to see in the gathering crowd, suddenly, across the small lake, we saw a carriage with men in black and brown cloaks, robes, in front and in back, bearing a bound body.
Remember it was a hidden camera and at somewhat of an angle.
The camera was on the other side and the camera was on the other side.
The camera was on the other side and the camera was on the other side.
Of men in black and brown and the bound body on the back of the buggy.
They drove behind big black tarps they had hanging out of the trees.
There was lots of smacking on lips and bizarre enjoyment by the crowd.
crowd.
We still haven't made out exactly what was going on, but that a real sacrifice may have actually been developing according to some occult experts.
All the time in the darkness across the small lake, the men in black were doing something behind the dark curtains hanging the men in black were doing something behind the dark curtains hanging from the Then after about ten more minutes of music, suddenly, all around the owl, activity began.
Here is the main central part of the ritual.
The owl is in his leafy temple.
Let all within the grove be reverent before him.
Lift up your heads, though ye dream, and be ye lifted up, ye everlasting spires.
For behold, here is Bohemian shrine, and holy are the pillars of this house.
Weaving spider, you found out here.
The owl is in the middle of the tree.
The evening's cool kiss is gone.
The campfires glow.
The birth of Rosie's been gone.
Shake off your sorrows with the city's ducks.
To the wisdoms and the cares of life.
Let memory bring back the well-loved names of gallant friends who knew and loved this girl.
Dear moon companions of the long ago, I let them join us in this wisdom.
Not a place to be empty in our days.
So, dear, you satchels, who hold in this gray autumn of the world her springtime in your heart, attend our tale.
Gather, ye forest bulbs, and cast your spell over these mortals.
Touch their world-lying eyes with very unmeas.
Open their eyes and follow the memories of your life.
Open your eyes and see you the gates of sorrow.
It is a dream.
And yet, not all it means.
The soul care in all of his works are of an agreement.
As vanished Babylon and goodly Tyre, so shall they also vanish.
But the wilding rose blows on the broken battle roots of Tyre.
and walked and rid the stones of Babylon.
For beauty is eternal, and we bow to beauty everlasting.
For lasting happiness, return to one alone, and she surrounds you now.
Great nature, refuge of the weary heart.
An only balm for breasts that have been bruised.
We have cool hands for every favorite brow, and dreadless silence for the troubled soul.
The counsels are most wise.
He healeth well, having such ministries as calm and sleep.
He is ever faithful.
Other friends may fail, but seek me her in any quiet place.
Squiling, she will rise and give to you her kiss.
So must she come as children.
Little children that believe nor ever doubt her beauty and her faith, nor deem her tenderness and change or die.
Little children that believe nor ever doubt her beauty and her faith, nor the truth of the truth of the truth.
Bohemians and priests, the desperate call of heavy hearts is answered.
By the power of your fellowship, no care is plain.
His body has been brought yonder from a funeral fire to the joyous vapings of a funeral march.
Our funeral fire awaits the corpse of care.
There we go.
Here you have the boatman, his face painted up like a skull, bringing the bound body across the water.
Again, we'll have enhanced video of this later.
and let's see if you can pick up all the different occultic meanings in the speeches you're about to hear.
Thank you.
thou mocking spirit; it is not all a dream; we know thou waitest for us, for this our sylvan holiday has ended.
We shall meet thee and fight thee as of old, and some of us prevail against thee, and some thou shalt destroy.
But this, too, we know.
Year after year, within this happy throne, our fellowship bans thee for a space, and I, malevolence, which would pursue us here, has lost its power under these friendly trees.
So shall we burn thee once again this night?
We shall read the sign: "Lits on earth sets us free!" Ye shall burn me once again!
I will not believe, plain, which hither ye have brought from regions where I reign.
Ye fools and priests, I spit upon your fire!
The Vowel, prince of all mortal wisdom, Vowel of Bohemia, we beseech thee! Vowel of Bohemia, we beseech thee!
Grant us thy counsel!
No pile, no pile, no pile!
If it be kindled where the world where hell is nourished, O'er the gates of heaven, That drive him from its doom!
One place alone must light this fire!
One place alone must light this fire!
The pure eternal flame!
The pure eternal flame!
That thanks with it a lance of fellowship!
Thou art from thee, old temple of Bohemia!
Great house of Bohemia!
We thank thee for thy adjuration!
You are the one who is free!
You are the one who is free!
You have the one who is free!
You are the one who is free!
Be gone, detested care!
Be gone!
Once more, keep standing with me!
Be gone, dull care!
Fire shall have its will of thee!
Be gone, dull care!
And all the wind make merry with thy ducts!
Hail, fellowships, eternal flame!
once again Midsomer sets us free.
free. . .
. . . . .
. . .
. . . . .
. . . .
Now we're going to get to some enhanced video.
And we'll go play by play through some of the more occultic statements.
Like, we shall read the sign in your burned effigy, the bound body...
That's exactly what the Druids actually did.
did, they would roast cats, goats, oxen, horses, and watch the pain of how they died, and from this extract some type of mystical energy force or power, and also be able to tell the future.
Power of Bohemia, we beseech the Stratusite Council.
Upon further research of the ritual you just witnessed, it becomes clear.
It is a mixture of the Babylonian Canaanite cult of Molech, fused with ancient Druidic rites, where you have the female side of Satan, which they first call out to in the She.
And then towards the horn god with the he, mixed with Masonic rites from Scotland.
It's very likely that many of the 1,500 to 2,000 member crowd had really no idea what they were actually watching because it was thinly veiled.
Here we have some more enhanced video as the boatman, again with his face painted up like a skull.
He pulls his boat across the small lake towards the high priest with the red of his cloak visible, with his hand outstretched as if he is pulling the damned soul towards him as they throw off their cares, their conscience for what they have to do in the world.
Also, you have the arrangement of the circle of higher-level priests around him, the high priest in lighter colors, and then the outer rooms of red, and then those in black.
This is consistent with the darker workings of the occult, not just with the western countries, but also worldwide.
Now when you see that black edge coming to the field, that's because we zoomed in on the video and many times the picture was almost out of the screen.
So that's the edge of the field or the view of the camera.
We'll get back to more enhanced video of the ritual here in just a minute.
But remember PJ, the little demon down in the corner, the left-hand corner of the program, sweeping up the ashes with little horns?
And how could you forget this?
The image of a human body burning on the altar.
Again, this is what they were handing out to those that were witnessing these macabre activities.
But again, from Babylon on into ancient England, The word bone fire, meaning human sacrifices being thrown into fiery pits, turned into today's bond fire.
After the sacrifice, members of the cult would sweep up the ashes of the victim and use them in future rituals.
One of the things that is extremely obvious by looking at the program handed out to Bohemian Club members is the person creating the program had a deep understanding of the occult.
So, let's let's go.
Thank you.
Now believe, flame, which hither ye have bought from regions where I reign.
Ye fools and priests, I spit upon your fire.
Wow.
Prince of all mortal wisdom.
Owl of Bohemia, we beseech thee.
Strength thy counsel.
For free howls of Bohemia, we thank thee for thy adjuring.
To be continued... To be continued... To be continued... To be continued...
To be continued... To be continued... To be continued... To be continued... To be continued... To be continued... To be continued... To be continued... To be continued... To be continued... To be continued... To be continued... To be continued... To be continued... To be continued... To be continued... To be continued... To be continued... To be continued... To be continued... To be continued...
To be continued... To be continued... To be continued... To be continued... To be continued...
To be continued...
Be gone, detested care.
Be gone.
Once more, be banished with thee.
Be gone, do care.
Fire shall have its will of thee.
Be gone, do care.
And all the winds make merry with thy ducts.
Hail Fellowship's eternal flame.
Once again, Midsomer sets us free.
Now there you see the funeral pyre burning with the effigy of a human.
Or it could be real, ladies and gentlemen.
There's been a lot of strange going-ons in that area of Northern California.
But this is what the establishment is into right here in America.
The cremation of care.
And this was July 15, 2000. These people are deadly serious, Those taking part in the ceremony.
Another point.
The pyrotechnics you're seeing going off were being released from beneath little rod iron crosses about a foot and a half tall.
Also, notice the screams of pain coming from the sacrifice.
Be gone, be tested, care.
Be gone.
Once more, be tested, care.
Be gone, double care.
Fire shall have its will of thee.
Be gone, no care.
And all the winds make merry with thy dust.
Hail, fellowships, eternal flame.
Once again, Midsummer sets us free.
Oh my God!
Thank you.
One of the facets of the ritual that goes deeply into the occult, and we've already mentioned the druids at their bonfires or bonfires throwing Throwing bodies into fiery pits after ritually cutting their hearts out or slitting their throats.
They talk about reading the sign in the burning effigy.
Reading the sign.
Again, research your history books on the occult, even the Encyclopedia Britannica on what the Druids would engage in.
This is just unbelievably macabre and evil.
So shall we burn thee once again this night?
And in the flames that keep thine empty, we shall read the sign.
Well, we're going to confront George Bush on Bohemian Grove.
George Bush Jr., they've been announcing on CNN, MSNBC, on television last night and today, for the first time in history they're admitting it, why the vice presidential decision was made at Bohemian Grove.
George Bush, Sr., the former president, and Golan Bowen, others.
So now they're just throwing it in everybody's face.
We've broken the story over a week ago.
July 15th, we were in Northern California.
They're trying to ignore it.
George Bush is down here at the governor's mansion across the street from the Capitol, about to announce Dick Cheney as his vice presidential running mate.
We're going to go blow the party for him and get the information out to people.
We're not going to stop.
We're getting in their face.
I want to make it clear that I'm neither Republican nor Democrat.
But the facts speak for itself.
George Bush Sr., Jr., even their grandfather Prescott Bush, were all members of the Bohemian Club.
So we drop by to, well, let them know that we're fully aware of their activities.
This is massive.
This is how George Bush dresses up.
Right here.
We've got him on tape.
This is how they dress up.
Right here.
In red and black robes.
A little more pointy, though, like the Klan.
We've got him on tape.
This is how George Bush dresses.
Right here when he's in the Bohemian Grove.
This is how he dresses.
We've already put it on television.
Excerptly disgusting.
George Bush isn't a conservative.
He's not for family values.
He is nothing but a Luciferian twit.
A Luciferian twit, Bush.
You may think you can feed on the American population.
We say no to you.
We're on the march.
The empire's on the run.
Long live the Constitution and death to the new world order.
We stand firm.
We stand strong for America.
Against your evil Bush.
And we're going to get this story out.
And we're going to continue to push it.
Because the truth will not be hit.
That you are part of a 3,000 plus year old devil cult with an al-moic from Babylon as well as Tyre.
We have the high priest admitting all this.
We have it on videotape.
It is documented.
It is documented.
A Luciferian devil worshiper.
Already people all over Austin are talking about it.
We're not afraid of you.
We're not afraid of your minions.
We're waking your minions up every day with the hardcore evidence.
We know your father met 11 times with Bill Clinton in 91.
The whole thing was stage managed.
We understand you've been helping to sell this country out, Bush.
And we're going to expose you and your Luciferian rights.
We have the video tape.
This is a massive story.
One of the stories of the century.
One of the stories of the century.
How you had the Luciferian cult for 121 years in Northern California.
I went inside for the cremation of care.
I witnessed the entire debacle.
Many of these secret service agents have been in.
No doubt protecting these people inside of this system.
There had to be, in my belief, an occultist, a deep occultist, who designed each of the elements of this ceremony to, It wasn't just a bunch of guys sit together at a bar and said, hey, let's have a good time, the cremation of care, and why don't we do this or that.
I believe it was purposely designed, each element in its turn.
For what they did.
No doubt about it.
Ladies and gentlemen, you've been watching Dark Secrets Inside Bohemian Grove.
The facts we've shown in this film are absolutely documented.
I would only hope that the people of the world realize the organized evil we're dealing with at almost every level.
Republican, Democrat, you name it.
They're all working on the same team.
Ladies and gentlemen, it's called world government, the new world order, dehumanization.
It's not a joke.
It's deadly serious.
Unfortunately, they've been breeding societies to think everything's a joke.
I'm here to tell you truth is stranger than fiction.