Hodgetwins - Ron Perlman "Is Nuts!"
Aired: 2022-04-01
Duration: 06:22


=== Freedom of Speech or Parental Rights (04:11) ===

[00:00:05]  Good morning, Governor DeSantis.
[00:00:06]  Yeah.
[00:00:07]  Ron here.
[00:00:08]  Fuck you.
[00:00:12]  Don't say gay.
[00:00:15]  Don't say as the first two words in a sentence spoken by a political leader of a state.
[00:00:24]  Dude's nuts.
[00:00:25]  In the United States of America, don't say.
[00:00:29]  Don't fucking say, you fucking Nazi pig.
[00:00:32]  You're crazy.
[00:00:33]  Say.
[00:00:36]  First Amendment.
[00:00:38]  What if his eyes are not?
[00:00:39]  Think about it.
[00:00:41]  Then run for office.
[00:00:43]  High as shit.
[00:00:44]  You piece of shit.
[00:00:47]  All right, but.
[00:00:48]  What is people's is all dialed?
[00:00:50]  That shit wasn't focusing or nothing.
[00:00:53]  I know what they don't say in your house is dentist.
[00:00:57]  All right, by your own logic.
[00:00:59]  You like a damn shark, huh?
[00:01:01]  You like a damn, like a damn alligator.
[00:01:04]  Damn them snappers, you got.
[00:01:07]  Hey, but let me say this.
[00:01:08]  By your own logic.
[00:01:10]  By your own logic.
[00:01:12]  Because the First Amendment.
[00:01:13]  Yeah.
[00:01:13]  I should be able to walk into a preschool and say, hey, boys and girls, y'all want to see what a dick looks like today?
[00:01:19]  Yeah.
[00:01:20]  I know it's cutting in in apple juice and graham cracker time, but we need to learn about dicks today.
[00:01:26]  Did you know some women got dicks?
[00:01:29]  Anybody can have a dick nowadays.
[00:01:32]  Y'all want to know what a pansexual is?
[00:01:34]  Yeah.
[00:01:34]  They got dicks too.
[00:01:36]  They got dicks and vaginas.
[00:01:39]  Did you know what a transgender is?
[00:01:42]  They have dicks too.
[00:01:44]  What?
[00:01:44]  You want to learn how to write your name?
[00:01:46]  Not today, little boy.
[00:01:47]  We're learning about dicks and vaginas today.
[00:01:51]  Freedom of speech, right, asshole?
[00:01:54]  Just because you have freedom of speech, you just can't say whatever you want.
[00:01:57]  I can't go in a burning building and say, ball!
[00:02:01]  What?
[00:02:02]  Ball!
[00:02:05]  Well, boy, it's a burning bill.
[00:02:06]  You might say that might get them out of that quick.
[00:02:10]  Hey, let me...
[00:02:11]  Yeah, just because you have freedom of speech, you can't say whatever the hell you want.
[00:02:15]  Yeah, and just call it the don't say gay bill.
[00:02:18]  That's not the bill.
[00:02:19]  That's not even in the bill.
[00:02:20]  Did you even read the bill?
[00:02:22]  I don't even think those two terms are even nowhere in the legislation.
[00:02:25]  It's not.
[00:02:26]  It's actually a parental rights bill.
[00:02:28]  Yeah.
[00:02:29]  So it pretty much says that you have to get the permission of that parent.
[00:02:34]  Well, this is to talk about certain things.
[00:02:38]  That's the name of the bill, you vanilla gorilla.
[00:02:42]  What the hell is wrong with you?
[00:02:44]  Yeah.
[00:02:47]  What's up with this?
[00:02:48]  Yeah.
[00:02:49]  It gives parents more rights.
[00:02:51]  Yeah, it's a parental right.
[00:02:52]  You don't leave it up to the teacher because some of these woke gay teachers, they'll come in with a strap on them if you let them.
[00:03:00]  Hell, what's going to stop them from cutting a damn glory hole in the wall?
[00:03:04]  Hey, hey, man.
[00:03:05]  What's up, Junior?
[00:03:06]  Nah, man.
[00:03:06]  If you give a woke gay person a mile, I mean, an inch, they'll take 10 miles.
[00:03:11]  Look what we got.
[00:03:12]  We got men competing against women now.
[00:03:14]  That's enough with you people.
[00:03:16]  If I was you, I'd go read the First Amendment again.
[00:03:20]  Yeah.
[00:03:20]  It doesn't provide immunity for whatever you say.
[00:03:23]  And you should actually go read the bill.
[00:03:25]  I mean, we're not talking about 10th grade, 11th grade, 12th grade.
[00:03:28]  We talk about kindergartners, man.
[00:03:31]  We're talking about apple juice and graham crackers.
[00:03:35]  We talking about color and staying within the lines.
[00:03:38]  Yeah, learning how to write your name.
[00:03:39]  Yeah, how to pronounce your name correctly.
[00:03:42]  Yeah, how to pull your pee-pee out when you go to the bathroom.
[00:03:45]  What?
[00:03:46]  How to go to the bathroom, man?
[00:03:48]  How you tie your shoes, man?
[00:03:49]  They didn't teach you that.
[00:03:50]  Yeah, some people, man, they got them button up.
[00:03:52]  They can't get out of them.
[00:03:53]  I mean, mama sent me to school.
[00:03:55]  I didn't have a zip.
[00:03:55]  Had buttons pissed all over.
[00:04:00]  They don't teach you how to do.
[00:04:02]  Yeah, it depends on the kid, man.
[00:04:03]  Hey, man, you got a bunch of buttons.
[00:04:05]  You better not wait.
[00:04:06]  If you got to go to the bathroom, you better just go because it's going to take you about 10 minutes to undo them buttons.
[00:04:13]  You're going to sit with them damn bell buttons with the buttons.

=== How to Tie Your Shoes (02:05) ===

[00:04:16]  Man, I was like, just damn, shit.
[00:04:18]  I just pissed on myself.
[00:04:19]  I was like, man, I remember I actually pissed on myself in sixth grade.
[00:04:23]  We was out playing basketball, right?
[00:04:25]  And I was holding, I was holding it, right?
[00:04:26]  Because I was having fun with my friends.
[00:04:28]  And we was outside, and they let us play basketball outside.
[00:04:31]  And it was all these puddles of water everywhere.
[00:04:33]  He was dribbling the basketball.
[00:04:34]  He couldn't dribble.
[00:04:35]  He dribbled the ball right in the puddle and it just splattered.
[00:04:38]  And for some reason, when I saw that, it just I walked around the whole damn bust of what happened.
[00:04:46]  Oh, I fell in a puddle of water.
[00:04:52]  But yeah, that's the best.
[00:04:53]  It doesn't even say that in the bill.
[00:04:55]  Don't say, gay bill, that's all a lie.
[00:04:57]  You just one of these Hollywood clowns that falls for whatever these people tell you.
[00:05:01]  No, the reason why, another thing, the reason why he's saying that this is actually, see, this is how Hollywood works.
[00:05:07]  He's just showing Hollywood he's one of them.
[00:05:09]  I need some damn acting gigs.
[00:05:11]  I'm going broke over here.
[00:05:12]  I ain't got money for a fucking dentist.
[00:05:15]  Yeah, hey, hey, I love you in Sons of Anarchy.
[00:05:17]  Clay Morrow.
[00:05:19]  Man, I love that show, man.
[00:05:21]  That was a good show.
[00:05:23]  You messed up how they shocked your ass in your neck.
[00:05:25]  No, he had that shit coming.
[00:05:27]  If you'd have shot this video, you had that shit coming sooner.
[00:05:31]  What, he shot him in the neck?
[00:05:33]  That was a damn good show.
[00:05:37]  Everybody, drop
[00:06:08]  in to MyPillow.com and get up to 66% off.
[00:06:12]  Yeah, support Mike as he helps the Freedom Convoy.
[00:06:15]  Yeah, look, he just jumped out of the chopper, man.
[00:06:17]  Man, Mike's a damn patriot.
[00:06:18]  I hope he didn't make that damn burst you to damn my pillow.
[00:06:21]  That shit ain't gonna work.