Hodgetwins - The Worst Santa EVER!! Aired: 2020-12-11 Duration: 11:19 === White Privilege Discount Code (02:24) === [00:00:00] Yeah, I got a new show for y'all. [00:00:02] Yeah, we got a damn good show. [00:00:03] Damn good show. [00:00:04] Good show. [00:00:05] But you know it's Christmas time and it's still time to get those Christmas gifts. [00:00:10] Yeah, we throw in a sale and if you order them by Sunday, yeah, we can guarantee Santa Claus is gonna ham at your house before Christmas. [00:00:17] Ho ho ho ho. [00:00:20] Use discount code white privilege if you're white. [00:00:23] Yeah. [00:00:23] If you black, you better not use that damn discount code. [00:00:26] Yeah. [00:00:26] There's rules in this country you need to follow. [00:00:29] Yeah, this is for white people. [00:00:31] Where would this country be without white people? [00:00:34] Let's just be honest. [00:00:36] I'm just joking. [00:00:37] We believe in equality. [00:00:38] You ain't joking. [00:00:40] We believe in equality. [00:00:41] White people did a lot of good in this country. [00:00:44] That's why I'm giving you 25% off. [00:00:47] Yeah, but hey, we're giving you a discount too. [00:00:50] Let's give the black people 20% off. [00:00:55] Stop playing. [00:00:56] Y'all get 25% off. [00:00:58] Y'all give them 20%, man. [00:00:59] They're black. [00:01:00] Kevin, come on. [00:01:04] Dude, we're too good to these black folks. [00:01:07] Give them 15% off. [00:01:10] Kevin, stop. [00:01:11] Keep talking. [00:01:12] I give them five. [00:01:15] Look, 3%. [00:01:16] Now you get 3%. [00:01:18] Look. [00:01:18] Two? [00:01:19] What? [00:01:20] You ain't getting nothing. [00:01:23] Look, we believe in equality over here. [00:01:25] We got y'all 25% off. [00:01:27] Your discount code is sellout. [00:01:29] Because you're watching us, you're a damn race traitor. [00:01:33] Yeah, that's what y'all. [00:01:34] It's a damn shame. [00:01:35] They took our black card. [00:01:36] And when they find out about you, you'll lose yours too. [00:01:41] But you know what? [00:01:43] Since I gave up my black card, Weddie took it. [00:01:46] Yeah, Weddie took it. [00:01:47] That's a good thing, you know. [00:01:48] Suddenly, my life improved. [00:01:49] Yeah, my credit score went up 100 points. [00:01:52] I was free now. [00:01:54] Make good decisions. [00:01:55] Break hard. [00:01:56] Hold yourself accountable. [00:01:57] Stop blame other people for your problems. [00:01:59] There you go. [00:01:59] You go a long way in this world, man. [00:02:03] All right, let's get serious on this. [00:02:05] Let's get serious on this. [00:02:06] Yeah. [00:02:09] Santa Claus. [00:02:10] Yeah. [00:02:11] The cornerstone of Christmas. [00:02:13] Yeah. [00:02:13] Even though he's not really the cornerstone, Christmas is about other things, but he's a big part of it, man. [00:02:18] When I was a little boy, when I thought of Christmas, first thing that popped in my head was this big fat white man bringing me a gift. === Sellout And The Black Card (07:53) === [00:02:25] Right? [00:02:25] And this kid was just destroyed by this. [00:02:29] Shooting the video, man. [00:02:30] Man, look at the video. [00:02:32] No. [00:02:40] No, I don't, no guns. [00:02:42] Nerf guns. [00:02:43] Nope, not even a nerf gun. [00:02:46] Nope. [00:02:48] If your dad wants to get it for you, that's fine, but I can't bring it to you. [00:02:51] But what else would you like? [00:02:53] Lots of other choice. [00:02:54] There's Legos, bicycles, there's pirates and trucks. [00:02:59] What do you think? [00:03:04] What do you think? [00:03:08] It's okay, Dad. [00:03:55] I'm telling you, man. [00:03:57] If that was my little boy, you mean my little boy cry? [00:04:02] It's time for Santa to cry. [00:04:05] I mean that from the bottom of my heart. [00:04:07] And I'm a Christian. [00:04:08] Oh, you're gonna cry. [00:04:10] You're gonna cry three times as loud. [00:04:14] Nah, nobody does that to my little boy. [00:04:16] You'd be lucky Kev Hodge wouldn't stand in line with his little boy. [00:04:21] Oh man, that would have been real bad for you. [00:04:23] And you know, he's not the only kid to ask for some kind of toy gun. [00:04:27] He's probably doing that all day because little boys, what they want, a water gun. [00:04:30] Yeah. [00:04:31] I mean, Santa acts like he went up there and asked him for a Glock. [00:04:35] Let me get a 40 cal. [00:04:37] He asked for a damn Nerf gun. [00:04:41] Said your daddy can get it. [00:04:43] No shit, Santa. [00:04:46] Your job is to just go along with the lie. [00:04:49] He's going to bring it anyway. [00:04:51] But you really think your fat ass is going to go to his house and give him a Nerf gun? [00:04:55] Yeah, that's not the, that's not your job description. [00:04:58] You're not actually going to deliver these toys. [00:05:00] Did you understand the job application? [00:05:02] You didn't have to actually take the toys to the kids' houses. [00:05:06] Did you know that? [00:05:07] You just had to say, ask him a question. [00:05:09] What do you want for Christmas? [00:05:11] Say, yeah. [00:05:12] Merry Christmas. [00:05:13] Ho, ho, ho. [00:05:16] That's all you had to do. [00:05:18] This kid is already more man than you are, Santa. [00:05:20] He already wants a gun. [00:05:21] He wants to protect his family, his loved ones. [00:05:24] He's no sissy like you. [00:05:26] Hey, look, and then Santa starts throwing out, well, you can get a bicycle, some Legos. [00:05:31] I'm like, look here, Santa. [00:05:32] He didn't ask you what you play with. [00:05:36] He wanted his damn Nerf gun. [00:05:38] And you couldn't fulfill it. [00:05:40] Liberal Santa, man. [00:05:42] Well, look at it like this. [00:05:42] When I was a kid, you know what? [00:05:44] Yeah, yeah. [00:05:44] Yeah. [00:05:45] Go ahead. [00:05:45] Like when I was a kid, seeing Santa, that was. [00:05:49] That was, I had a lot of anxiety, man. [00:05:52] I was actually scared. [00:05:53] I was scared because Santa, just look at him. [00:05:55] He looks crazy as hell. [00:05:57] I'm like, I've never been in that line. [00:05:58] I have my mama. [00:05:59] And I keep hearing this man, ho, ho, ho, ho. [00:06:04] Yeah. [00:06:05] You won't little boy for about two hours, man. [00:06:09] Yeah. [00:06:09] And when I got up to the lineup, man, I started freaking out. [00:06:14] And I mean, as a little boy, I was like, just look at it from a little boy's standpoint. [00:06:18] This is a yeah, it's a fat dude, right? [00:06:22] He got on this crazy red, red suede velvet suit with white plush all over it with them beady eyes. [00:06:30] Yeah, that white, that white beard, and he's fat, right? [00:06:35] And supposedly, he lives in the North Pole with a bunch of elves who's creating toys all day, all day throughout the year. [00:06:41] And on Christmas night, he gets his big fat ass in a sleigh with this bag of toys meant for the entire world wearing about 30 megatons. [00:06:51] And his damn deer is flying him through the sky. [00:06:53] He lands on your roof. [00:06:55] He squeezes his big ass into Kimley. [00:06:58] I mean, it's just crazy. [00:06:59] Yeah. [00:07:00] Just think of it from that little kid, man. [00:07:01] This is a really majestic experience. [00:07:04] A what experience? [00:07:05] Majestic. [00:07:06] What the hell does that mean? [00:07:07] It's like fairy tale, man. [00:07:10] Okay. [00:07:10] Yeah. [00:07:11] I learned a new word. [00:07:13] I hope that's the definition. [00:07:15] Majestic. [00:07:17] I like you be like making up words during the show. [00:07:20] What you say the other day? [00:07:22] What'd he say? [00:07:23] The words ambiguous. [00:07:24] What'd he say? [00:07:25] Ambiguous. [00:07:28] Well, that's what the word looks like to me. [00:07:31] Ambiguous. [00:07:32] But anyway. [00:07:33] But yeah, this is a real special occasion, man. [00:07:35] He's like, you know, on Cloud Nine, he's very anxious, very, a lot of anxiety. [00:07:39] I know I was. [00:07:40] Yeah. [00:07:40] And then for you to just say, no, your dad can bring it. [00:07:44] And this kid is not liberal. [00:07:46] He's not conservative. [00:07:46] He's just a little boy. [00:07:48] Yeah. [00:07:48] And you're supposed to be Santa Claus. [00:07:51] Not liberal Santa Claus. [00:07:53] And I just. [00:07:54] I think it's a possibility that Santa might have been gay. [00:07:57] What makes you say that? [00:07:59] Well, he sounds like SpongeBob. [00:08:01] Everybody knows he's gay. [00:08:04] Yeah, he's got to be. [00:08:06] Not that it's anything wrong with being a gay Santa. [00:08:10] Okay, let's get off the subject. [00:08:14] Hey, if you are gay, you set gay people back by 400 years, man. [00:08:19] Hey, look here. [00:08:21] All right, this is the thing. [00:08:22] I mean, when I saw this. [00:08:24] Yeah. [00:08:24] I mean, this is supposed to be a great time of year, you know. [00:08:27] Yeah. [00:08:28] But this put evil in my heart. [00:08:30] Yeah. [00:08:31] I was like, man, I wish you was the real Santa. [00:08:34] Yeah. [00:08:34] You know, I hope your ass fly to China. [00:08:36] Yeah. [00:08:36] Rudolph goes to sleep at the wood and just drags the whole damn sleigh down. [00:08:41] You fall and some Chinese man come up to you and right in your fat ass face. [00:08:48] Hope you get Chinese virus. [00:08:50] Hope you get quarantined in China. [00:08:52] I hope they put you on a strict diet because you fat as hell. [00:08:55] I hope they put you on bats. [00:08:56] No, wait a minute. [00:08:57] I hope they give you cats, dogs, and some bat soup. [00:09:00] And for dessert, I hope they give your fat ass some monkey brains. [00:09:04] Man, because that was that was so stupid. [00:09:08] It ain't about being liberal, conservative. [00:09:11] This is Christmas. [00:09:11] It's a holiday. [00:09:12] You don't bring those type of beliefs and put them on a little boy at that age. [00:09:17] He don't know what's going on. [00:09:18] He thinks you're Santa. [00:09:20] Yeah, you just crushed him. [00:09:21] He asked for a nerf gun. [00:09:24] Nerf. [00:09:25] No, your daddy can bring it, but I ain't bringing that. [00:09:29] You ain't bringing it. [00:09:30] Yeah. [00:09:30] It's supposed to be, man. [00:09:33] Man, you beating that dead horse. [00:09:35] Where did this happen? [00:09:36] This got to be in some suburb of Chicago. [00:09:39] He's probably going to get an award from Mayor Lightfoot. [00:09:41] Yeah, liberal shithole. [00:09:43] Yeah. [00:09:44] I'm telling you, man, I'm telling you, man, some of these, these liberals, man, they got half a brain. [00:09:50] No, they got a brain. [00:09:51] This is the problem with liberals. [00:09:53] They don't think with their brain. [00:09:55] They think with their heart. [00:09:56] They see guns and like, they look at it. [00:09:58] It's like, a gun doesn't have a heartbeat, doesn't have legs or arms. [00:10:02] It just doesn't go around shooting people. [00:10:04] Yeah, it doesn't have a hate in its heart. [00:10:06] Yeah. [00:10:06] Even though this Santa's got hate in his heart. [00:10:08] It's evil people that use that for things that wasn't meant to be used for. [00:10:12] It's just used for protection. [00:10:14] Like car accidents, drunk drivers. === Liberals And Gun Protection (01:00) === [00:10:18] Yeah. [00:10:19] I don't talk about banning cars or banning alcohol. [00:10:22] You know why? [00:10:22] Because everybody loves that car and they love alcohol. [00:10:25] Yeah. [00:10:25] Those kill far more people than guns. [00:10:28] You know, it's just they got bad logic. [00:10:31] Yeah, it's just stupid, man. [00:10:33] I mean, if that was me, man, Santa, man, that would, man. [00:10:39] Time to cry, Santa. [00:10:42] Damn, nerf gun. [00:10:45] Set up and boo hoo and all the way back to the North Pole, South Pole, or wherever the hell you from. [00:10:51] Anyway, Merry Christmas, everybody. [00:10:54] Ho, ho, ho! [00:10:59] That was a damn good show. [00:11:01] Yeah. [00:11:03] Go to officialharshtwins.com and pick you out a patriotic t-shirt today. [00:11:08] Hell, I'm even giving you a 20% off. [00:11:10] Just type in this time code, Chinese virus. [00:11:14] We call it Chinese because it's from China. [00:11:17] We making t-shirts great again.