Gavin Newsom faces accusations of violating his own COVID-19 guidelines by attending an unmasked birthday bash, prompting hosts to mock his "Vanilla Obama" apology as insincere. They contrast his hypocrisy with Donald Trump's "brutal honesty," argue that lockdowns were unnecessary given the virus's high survival rate, and question Newsom's lack of security detail. The segment concludes by blaming liberal constituents for suffering under such leadership while promoting patriotic merchandise. [Automatically generated summary]
Transcriber: nvidia/parakeet-tdt-0.6b-v2, sat-12l-sm, and large-v3-turbo
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Jimmy Swagger's Apology00:03:35
Yeah.
Got a new show for y'all.
Gavin Newsom, the governor.
The governor.
I'm from the South.
We call him the Gubna.
Gavin Newsom got caught with his thumb in his butt.
What?
He got his head caught.
You remember those weird kids in school when you was young?
They used to catch him digging in a butt and smelling it.
Gavin Newsom, one of them kids, man.
Man, you crazy as hell.
He got caught with his thumb in his butt, man.
Well, he didn't get caught with his thumb in his butt.
Yes, he did.
He got caught breaking his own COVID guidelines, man.
He got caught with his hand in the cookie jaw.
No, he got, he was actually fisting himself.
Gavin Newsom, you a low-down, dirty scoundrel.
Low-down, dirty liberal.
Don't even follow your own rules.
You and blow out Nancy Pelosi.
Getting her hair done.
You talking about all this COVID deadly.
You at a large table?
Yeah, a lot of people.
Not practicing social distancing.
Yeah.
Shoulder to shoulder.
Yeah.
Man, you crazy as hell, man.
Also in your state, y'all tried to cancel 4th of July.
You a damn tyrant.
That's what you are.
Yeah, why do you tell people to follow these rules when you don't follow them?
Yeah.
Right?
And he came out with this apology.
Check out this dude's apology.
And as soon as I sat down at the larger table, I realized it was a little larger group than I had anticipated.
And I made a bad mistake.
Instead of sitting down, I should have stood up and walked back, got in my car, and drove back to my house.
Instead, I chose to sit there with my wife and a number of other couples that were outside the household.
You can quibble about the guidelines, et cetera, et cetera.
But the spirit of what I'm preaching all the time was contradicted.
And I got to own that.
And so I want to apologize to you because I need to preach and practice, not just preach and not practice.
And I've done my best to do that.
Man, you crazy as hell.
The only reason why you apologizing, that Gavin, because you got caught, man.
You don't mean it.
Yeah, it's not like you came out and said, man, I went and had a party the other night.
I was with all my friends and acquaintances.
We didn't have no mask on.
We shoulder to shoulder.
Man, and I'm telling my people of California to fucking not even do it.
I'm going to come out and I'm going to apologize.
Yeah, you didn't do that.
No, you didn't do that.
You got caught.
This picture came out and you got caught and said, okay, so I got to apologize.
Like Jimmy Swagger, what was his name?
Jimmy Swaggart?
Yeah, yeah, Jimmy Swaggart.
You know that online pastor?
He was sorry.
He was sorry.
A few years back, I'll never forget this meeting.
A few years back, this would have been a long time ago.
It was kids when he did that.
Yeah, I saw this with my mama's religion.
She watched Jimmy Swaggart every freaking, what's his name, Jimmy Swagger?
Jimmy Swagger, man.
He came out there and started crying.
I have sinned against you, my Lord.
From this congratulation, talking about he picked up a prostitute and got sucked off on live TV.
And he was crying.
He was bawling.
You know why?
Because he was truly sorry for getting sucked off.
Yeah, you're not sorry.
You actually smiling the whole time.
When I got the impression when you was with this, this BS apology, your mannerisms, the way you carried yourself, the way you smiled, the way you carried your hands.
Obama's Leadership Failures00:08:21
Yeah.
It seemed like I was watching former President Barack Obama.
He talks the exact same way.
I can tell you have studied that man because when it comes to public speaking, Obama made majority people feel real good.
He's a great public speaker.
You look like you is copy him verbatim how he carries his hands, how he talks, how he smiles.
Everything you did, I mean, if I could have used blackface on you, I would swear up and down.
I was watching Obama.
Yeah, him and that dude from Beidou, y'all got that same manner as it's like y'all copying Obama because y'all know he was full of shit and he fooled all the liberals on the left for years.
He said, I'm going to do that Obama game on him.
He fooled a lot of Republicans, too.
That's why he was voting in office.
Yeah.
But you know what?
You got a new.
They was calling Bet O'Rourke, Vanilla Obama.
No, man.
That title deserves to go to you.
You are now officially as of today.
Spit it out.
Your nickname is the vanilla Obama.
You don't want to be Obama.
You fake as hell.
Yeah.
Like, when Trump says something, like, Trump's not real big.
He's like, leave it up to the individual if they want to want to wear a mask.
And he's like honest, and nobody likes that.
The dude's brutally honest.
He tells what he, you know, he stands for, you know, no mask or whatever.
Right.
Right.
You know.
But you, you come out and preach one thing and then you do another.
You come out and apologize.
People, people accept that, even though you're a liar and fake.
Trump is like brutally honest.
You know exactly what you're getting with this dude.
Yeah.
And y'all don't accept him.
Yeah.
If you was a real leader, if you had any balls.
That's what he said.
He grew up.
He said when he got that, right?
Yeah.
I should have saw it was a huge gathering.
What are y'all doing?
Y'all gonna kill everybody.
Get the hell out of here.
What are you doing?
Who's gonna die?
What the?
If you really thought, if you really thought COVID was that deadly, that's what you should have did.
You should have called the cops, had everybody arrested.
You including you and your wife.
Because that was reckless.
You realize that this is not the Ebola virus.
You realize this is not the bubonic plague.
That's why you didn't leave.
If you was a true leader, you'd have came out and says, everybody, we need to go back to work.
The sign says this.
People who, that's what you should have done.
Instead of walking out, you should have, this is what you should have done.
If you was a real leader, you did the right thing.
You stayed there.
Yeah.
This is what you need to do in front of the people of California.
You need to come out there with that stupid smile on your face.
Say, look here, we got the science.
This virus for 98, 97, 99%.
99%.
Or the people to get this virus is fine.
But if you have survival rate, 99%.
Yeah, but if you have conditions like diabetes or something that makes you susceptible to this virus, you should stay home.
You should come out and tell everybody in California, you know what?
It's time to go back out to work in this bitch.
Because this damn, this is not the Ebola virus.
It's a horrible flu.
That's all it is.
You should not shut down your state, people's jobs, their livelihoods.
It's time for us to go back to work.
That's what you should do if you're a real leader.
What you came out and did in this apology, it's total BS.
Liberals, just use your brain for a second.
Don't listen to your politicians, your leaders.
Think about it.
They're shutting down the economy for something that has a 99% survival rate.
Does that make any sense?
We've already done this once.
Yeah.
I mean, I guess y'all like to take advice from President Trump.
You know, one day it's just going to blow away.
That's what he's saying, huh?
Y'all called Trump out for that.
I mean, y'all really think just because you shut down an economy, it's going to go away.
And you stay in your house and the virus is just...
It's not going anywhere, man.
It's going to give it...
Let's sit in the house.
Let's shut down for like six weeks.
Then let's go outside.
It's going to blow away.
The winner is going to freeze it to death.
Look, look, Gavin, Newsome.
You know what, man?
Typical politician, his responses.
He had that smile.
You faked me.
People like you faked me for many years of my life.
Yeah.
Until I finally started listening to both sides.
And I actually, you know, you guys are just fake.
You gave the typical response.
And I know the majority of your constituents are going to believe you.
Oh, man.
He really owned that one.
No, the only reason why he really owned that is because he got caught.
While your constituents, everybody that voted for him is at home suffering.
They can't go back to work.
They want to go to birthday parties.
They want to go to parties.
They want to go out and have drinks, have a little fun.
When they caught you and these people have been faithfully listening to you, and you go out behind your constituents' back, everybody that voted for you, and you do that and you try to say you made a mistake, that you're human, you're full of shit, dude.
Yeah, and you're smiling the whole time.
Hold on, he's smiling the whole time.
And it's like you're like actually trying not to laugh at everybody that's listening to you.
That's why you got that smile on your face.
I can see in your face.
You're laughing at everybody.
Because you know this virus is not the Ebola virus.
If this was the Ebola virus, oh my God, there's too many people.
We're going to die here.
Yeah.
I mean, have you seen them pandemic movies?
Yeah.
The people screaming around.
Y'all in there talking and got no mask on.
Sitting shoulder to shoulder, having a good old time.
It's a birthday party.
Gavin, if y'all really thought that Chinese virus is as deadly as you say it is, you'd have been scared to death when you've seen all those people.
I'm surprised this dude is actually, he said he drove up in his car.
He was all by himself in this Toyota hybrid.
Green.
Yeah, you know he's driving an electric car, right?
Driving up, you know, green, no greenhouse gases, this and that.
Hey, don't you?
You ain't got no security team and you just showed up there.
You the governor, you just don't show up at places.
Do you?
You have to have a security detail, right?
You're the governor.
You just show up.
You drive your own car.
I don't believe that.
You just show up to a place and you don't know how many people are going to be there.
Your security detail don't check out the place to make sure ain't no crazy people in there.
I mean, no governor, no son of no congressman just shows up nowhere without a security detail.
You people are, especially on the right, you're targets.
You're a target because you're full of shit.
I know you just don't show up at places you're not familiar with.
You don't know how many people's there.
We, a majority of your state has been shut down following strict COVID guidelines.
You act like you don't know what's going on.
Yeah, you're the governor.
You don't know.
You show up.
You don't know how many people are there.
It's a birthday party.
You know you're going to a birthday party.
You know who's going to be there.
Yeah, you know whose birthday party it is, don't you?
You just show up.
Oh, I didn't know it was going to be this many people.
Yeah, I can see if you, if they caught you inside of another restaurant like Roscoe's Chicken and Waffles in Los Angeles, yeah.
Y'all just showed up, man.
There's a bunch of people there.
But no, man, this is a very.
This is a planned event.
This is a very bougie restaurant.
You just don't show up in places.
You knew how many people was there.
You was lying.
So you're actually lying in your apology.
Yeah.
I mean, you ain't that damn stupid.
Maybe I'm thinking your constituents bought into it, but anybody that's objective.
You're a governor.
You are very responsible.
You know there's COVID restrictions.
You know how many people was there.
You knew who was going to be there.
You know what the event was about.
You talking about you showed up and I didn't know there was going to be that many people.
I should have been a leader.
I should have just told everybody, go to hell, home.
You're going to die.
And I should have just went on.
And that's what I should have did as a leader.
No, you should be a real leader.
You need to stand up to the people in your state and tell them it's time to go back to work.
Yeah, you liberals, man.
When are y'all going to wake up?
This is over this shutdown.
We need to stop this shutdown.
If you've got health issues and you're susceptible to this virus, then you need to hunker down.
But your constituents, they deserve everything they get.
He voted for you, so.
Wake Up From Shutdown00:00:42
Yeah.
Yeah.
I don't feel sorry for him.
Yeah, that's what you get.
I feel sorry for the Republicans that's stuck in that state, but for you liberals that voted for the man, you deserve everything you get.
All the pain and suffering, you deserve every damn bit of it because you're stupid.
Yeah.
That was a damn good show.
Yeah.
Go to officialharshtwins.com and pick you out a patriotic t-shirt today.