Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes - S5E87 - PEDANTIC SEMANTICS (Free Part)
Aired: 2024-05-03
Duration: 30:06


=== Purple Works Scoop (15:37) ===

[00:00:04]  Let me shout the big movement.
[00:00:06]  You know this beat is barking loud as Beethoven.
[00:00:08]  Senior Citizen, but my neck all golden.
[00:00:11]  I got the blood hot, but my wrist is hot.
[00:00:14]  Live from New York, it's Get Off My Lawn with Kevin McKinnon.
[00:00:21]  You want those rags, but for Trump, three bands for life.
[00:00:24]  Three bands.
[00:00:24]  Mar-n-a-go with the gang, I do this every night.
[00:00:27]  Gang gang, magga, magga, gang gang.
[00:00:29]  Hey!
[00:00:30]  Let me shout out, Zeytovins.
[00:00:33]  You know this beat is burkin'loud as Beethoven.
[00:00:36]  Senior Citizen, but my neck all golden.
[00:00:39]  I got the blood hot, but my wrist all frozen.
[00:00:42]  I froze.
[00:00:43]  You know, Grandma got that stupid swag.
[00:00:45]  100 bucks.
[00:00:46]  I'm going to go ahead and put it in the middle of the middle.
[00:00:50]  Let me turn off the AC using my phone.
[00:00:55]  We had what, like three days we didn't have to have heat or AC.
[00:01:00]  That's New York City.
[00:01:01]  You can open your windows for three days a year.
[00:01:05]  That was some grandma rap, MAGA-themed, talking about fuck Joe Biden and stuff.
[00:01:10]  Is that kind of stuff good for us or bad for us?
[00:01:13]  Terrible, in my opinion.
[00:01:15]  Do we lose votes?
[00:01:16]  Does it help Trump?
[00:01:17]  I mean, it's viral, but it's embarrassing.
[00:01:22]  But maybe it's funny.
[00:01:25]  I think the second lowest form of humor next to puns is, I'm a white guy and I'm rapping.
[00:01:31]  I live in the suburbs.
[00:01:32]  I'm a normal dude.
[00:01:33]  I'm not cool at all.
[00:01:34]  I'm a dumb white guy.
[00:01:36]  Hmm.
[00:01:36]  I like to play golf and plant begonias.
[00:01:40]  You know, that whole thing.
[00:01:41]  How many times have you seen that done?
[00:01:44]  It's a dad rap, the suburban dad.
[00:01:46]  Oh, I am a grandma.
[00:01:47]  And even though I'm an old lady, I got bling.
[00:01:50]  And here's some black vernacular.
[00:01:53]  Verblacular.
[00:01:55]  It's amazing how much a woman symbol is part of this montage.
[00:01:59]  Like, if I was like this, it wouldn't be so bad.
[00:02:03]  But it looks like a feminist talk show.
[00:02:08]  I feel bad when I play those novelty songs because I like to show you cool music every day.
[00:02:15]  And only bad people don't like it.
[00:02:18]  So, what about my wife and my favorite new band, Waxahachi?
[00:02:24]  Bless you.
[00:02:25]  Do you know this?
[00:02:26]  No.
[00:02:29]  It's great if you're falling asleep drunk.
[00:02:32]  Put this in your headphones.
[00:02:48]  If I brought some shit like this to you, the amount of gays you would call me would be more than one.
[00:02:54]  No, if you can't differentiate between this and your garbage, then you have terrible tastes in music.
[00:03:01]  She's from Alabama.
[00:03:02]  I think the Waxahatchee is a river down there.
[00:03:05]  I think she's on that right now.
[00:03:08]  Katie Crutchfield is her name.
[00:03:11]  She's from the South.
[00:03:14]  Another great band, similar to Black Angels, also from Texas, are Night Beats.
[00:03:20]  Kind of have a Hendrixy vibe if Jimi Hendrix was in an indie band.
[00:03:27]  It is beautiful.
[00:03:29]  What is that?
[00:03:30]  Fucking Joshua Tree?
[00:03:34]  Imagine if Jimi Hendrix was alive, but he was like one of those celebrities that say like bass shit all the time.
[00:03:40]  I don't like Jews very much, man.
[00:03:42]  I don't trust them.
[00:03:42]  Yeah, the Drag Queen story album, man.
[00:03:45]  I am with it, man.
[00:03:47]  The color pink is for fags.
[00:03:52]  Turn it up a bit.
[00:03:55]  similar kind of sound to Black Angels 5060 psycho.
[00:04:18]  Cool pedals, too.
[00:04:19]  When they do solos, jump ahead in the middle.
[00:04:31]  Night beats.
[00:04:36]  Yeah, just this big long bridge thing like a doodle.
[00:04:45]  Okay, let's take a moment to say thank you to our sponsor, Purple Works Nutrition.
[00:04:50]  I'm on it right now.
[00:04:52]  Show the Purple Works background.
[00:04:54]  I have kind of an interesting story to tell you about.
[00:04:57]  So I have a friend who's Irish, Irish American.
[00:05:02]  There's a weird thing these days where Irish people are making fun of Irish Americans and Italians are making fun of Italian Americans.
[00:05:09]  When someone in New York says they're Italian, they're not trying to pretend anything about Italy.
[00:05:14]  They don't speak Italian.
[00:05:15]  They never go there, ever.
[00:05:16]  They go to Florida for their vacation.
[00:05:19]  What it really means is what kind of white person are you?
[00:05:22]  And when you say Irish, a whole picture of like, you didn't have steak for dinner, you didn't have good food as a young man, your dad is at the pub.
[00:05:30]  Like, I get, I can picture your culture.
[00:05:33]  And when you say Italian, it's like, don't drink as much, so you don't have wine and stuff.
[00:05:37]  You do your laundry at your parents' house.
[00:05:39]  You always had tons and tons of food around when you were a kid to munch on, like just delicious food just on the table that wasn't even lunch or dinner.
[00:05:46]  And like all your snacks are homemade, like that.
[00:05:48]  You have that trajectory.
[00:05:51]  You're not like, I'm actually from Italy.
[00:05:53]  So yeah, you don't get the joke.
[00:05:55]  What kind of white person are you?
[00:05:58]  Yeah, what kind of white person are you?
[00:06:00]  But anyway, this Irish dude, Irish American, he goes, this kind of contradicts what I just said, but he goes, I'm kind of getting into Irish culture, like from Ireland.
[00:06:07]  And I go, cool.
[00:06:08]  And he goes, I want to learn how to river dance.
[00:06:11]  And I go, I know a way you can just basically take a river dance pill.
[00:06:16]  And he goes, no, no, it takes years and years of practice to get good enough.
[00:06:20]  And I said, take Purple Works Nutrition, an entire scoop.
[00:06:23]  And I keep repeating, I don't do scoops.
[00:06:26]  I do like half a scoop.
[00:06:27]  But I said, do an entire scoop of Purple Works And then just put on Irish music and just try it.
[00:06:34]  Guess what happened?
[00:06:45]  This is the first time he's ever tried river dancing.
[00:06:50]  I think they put on the wrong music, but he worked through it anyway.
[00:06:54]  Yeah, he wasn't even supposed to be there, right?
[00:06:56]  Yeah.
[00:06:56]  No, he crashed the stage.
[00:06:58]  This is a ballet.
[00:06:58]  The number he has on him, he just printed out at home.
[00:07:02]  That's really resourceful.
[00:07:04]  Yeah, right now, the backstage people are freaking out.
[00:07:07]  What the fuck is going on?
[00:07:08]  Who is that guy?
[00:07:09]  And then the head guy is like, shh, shh, shh.
[00:07:11]  Just watch.
[00:07:12]  Don't worry, I'll take care of it.
[00:07:13]  No, no, no, stop.
[00:07:15]  What?
[00:07:17]  Boss, he's not supposed to be there.
[00:07:19]  Shut up.
[00:07:24]  Anyway, I wouldn't lie to you.
[00:07:26]  Purple Works also does coffee, delicious ground coffee.
[00:07:31]  We have it here at the office.
[00:07:32]  It's a wild ride.
[00:07:34]  And as I keep telling you, Purple Works, it sets a timer.
[00:07:38]  And as soon as you do a scoop, your body starts going.
[00:07:42]  And then the tingles start, and you better get to the gym.
[00:07:46]  It's like having to go pee.
[00:07:50]  What is that?
[00:07:51]  This?
[00:07:52]  This.
[00:07:54]  What is this?
[00:07:56]  How did they find that?
[00:07:59]  But what did you make this for?
[00:08:01]  Or work?
[00:08:02]  I did not.
[00:08:04]  I think this is just a commercial.
[00:08:06]  Oh.
[00:08:06]  Brought to you by Purple Works.
[00:08:08]  Good stuff.
[00:08:10]  So sign up to get Purple Works delivered to your home.
[00:08:14]  At least try one container.
[00:08:16]  I'm on like my 10th.
[00:08:18]  And what's the promo code?
[00:08:19]  Is it Ryan Sucks?
[00:08:20]  Is that a different one?
[00:08:23]  I don't think any of them should be Ryan Sucks.
[00:08:27]  Come on.
[00:08:27]  So I hope that answers that.
[00:08:32]  I think I think it's a good idea.
[00:08:33]  Go to the normal background for the ad.
[00:08:37]  Nope.
[00:08:38]  The ad background.
[00:08:40]  Nope.
[00:08:41]  You're showing all your emails there, genius.
[00:08:46]  But what's the thing that's usually along the bottom?
[00:08:47]  Oh, here we go.
[00:08:52]  There we go.
[00:08:52]  The promo code is Gavin.
[00:08:54]  15% off.
[00:08:56]  We're going to cut you off soon, Freeloaders.
[00:08:57]  This is a Friday show, the free show, but it's only free for the first half.
[00:09:02]  And then we scurry back into our little tunnel and we become as sexist, racist, and homophobic as we want to be.
[00:09:10]  A little less Islamophobic than we want to be because we're scared of getting killed by terrorists.
[00:09:18]  Someone sent in a video of a sex tape of Ryan fucking a girl.
[00:09:23]  Is this true?
[00:09:24]  Well, I would consider that to be an impossibility.
[00:09:27]  It must have been from before you were married.
[00:09:30]  Well, yeah, but I also have never taped myself doing such a thing.
[00:09:34]  No, this is someone else capturing you fucking some chick on a...
[00:09:39]  What is the matter with you?
[00:09:40]  What the fuck is this?
[00:09:41]  Oh, okay.
[00:09:42]  I see what's going on.
[00:09:43]  What's going on?
[00:09:44]  I had last night's cop settings.
[00:09:47]  She seems to have a foreign object lodged in her V-A-G-I-N-A.
[00:09:56]  Giant.
[00:09:56]  That smells Revanna.
[00:09:57]  Vagina?
[00:09:58]  Come on, let's get this shit over with.
[00:10:00]  Where's the foreign object?
[00:10:09]  All right, all right, what's the problem?
[00:10:09]  Is that you?
[00:10:14]  He's considered a foreign object.
[00:10:17]  He's a human being.
[00:10:18]  That is the joke.
[00:10:19]  But he's a human being with a real soul in humanity.
[00:10:23]  Terrible thing to say.
[00:10:25]  Someone sent this in as some advice for me.
[00:10:27]  I don't know what it is.
[00:10:29]  But I'm not going to like it.
[00:10:32]  Actually, oh, that link.
[00:10:33]  I don't think that works.
[00:10:35]  Oh, well.
[00:10:36]  Just skip it.
[00:10:37]  Probably skip it.
[00:10:38]  No, what did they send in?
[00:10:39]  I want to see.
[00:10:40]  Well, I think it's wrong.
[00:10:42]  They probably said the wrong thing.
[00:10:43]  So probably skip it.
[00:10:44]  Just let's see the clip, Ryan.
[00:10:49]  Okay.
[00:10:50]  Oh, this is wow.
[00:10:52]  I didn't know you could go buy you a chin.
[00:10:55]  Yeah.
[00:10:55]  So y'all really out here getting whole chin implants.
[00:10:59]  I told you.
[00:11:00]  Oh, that's crazy.
[00:11:02]  That did it for him.
[00:11:04]  That did it for him.
[00:11:05]  Great job, guys.
[00:11:06]  I don't know what it's like.
[00:11:07]  Nobody had no chin, but a chin.
[00:11:10]  A chin really makes a difference.
[00:11:12]  When will you people learn?
[00:11:14]  He's hurt.
[00:11:15]  What's a chin?
[00:11:17]  I know what a jelly bean is.
[00:11:19]  I don't know what a chin is.
[00:11:22]  In the end of that video, he goes, but then you're going to get in trouble when you have a kid and they don't have no chin.
[00:11:28]  The kid's going to be like, hey, pops, where my chin at?
[00:11:31]  But I don't know what's going to happen.
[00:11:32]  But that's true.
[00:11:34]  That's an actual thing I think about all the time.
[00:11:37]  There was a case in China where this guy married a pretty lady and she'd actually had tons of plastic surgery.
[00:11:44]  So when the daughter was born, she was ugly.
[00:11:48]  And he sued her.
[00:11:50]  And it's one of those weekly world news kooky story things.
[00:11:54]  But like, what is beauty?
[00:11:56]  Like, why are you attracted to beauty?
[00:11:58]  Because you want to genetically, you want to make more of that.
[00:12:01]  So if you're, you want to marry someone more beautiful than you, so you'll have beautiful children and you'll continue this beautiful lineage.
[00:12:08]  It's fucking gay, but it's in our DNA.
[00:12:12]  That could be the title of today's show.
[00:12:14]  Fang and his daughter.
[00:12:15]  He's not exactly a looker himself, Captain Frogface.
[00:12:20]  You don't think you participated in that?
[00:12:22]  I'm blaming you.
[00:12:23]  Is that the case I was just talking about?
[00:12:25]  Yeah.
[00:12:26]  Yeah.
[00:12:26]  Ugly wife lawsuit.
[00:12:27]  But I...
[00:12:29]  I know it sounds mental, but there is...
[00:12:38]  And you're like, so I guess in that case with the no chin, you have the kid with no chin, and you go, don't worry about it, son.
[00:12:43]  Just get a chin job.
[00:12:44]  And we'll just continue this, our legacy of lies.
[00:12:51]  There's some new airline seats that have been invented.
[00:12:54]  Friday's always got the important news.
[00:13:02]  This is the stupidest invention in the world.
[00:13:04]  I don't immediately see a problem with that.
[00:13:09]  What plane is this?
[00:13:12]  Have you been on a plane, dude?
[00:13:15]  If you stand up and you're not in the aisle, you have to go like this.
[00:13:20]  Where's all this extra five feet of headroom coming from?
[00:13:25]  We now have to redesign planes.
[00:13:26]  Here's another major problem.
[00:13:28]  Someone's ass is in your face.
[00:13:31]  That's not pleasant.
[00:13:34]  He just takes one hungover fatty, one Daryl Lamont Jenkins with some Taco Bell in him to destroy your life.
[00:13:43]  Look at that.
[00:13:43]  And I'm up...
[00:13:44]  And I just don't like the...
[00:13:48]  Like when I take the train to the city and from the city, I always make sure I'm in the seats facing the direction.
[00:13:52]  I'd rather stand than sit on a seat that's backwards.
[00:13:55]  Sitting on a seat below someone where you're literally below someone?
[00:14:00]  No way.
[00:14:01]  The fart thing is crazy.
[00:14:02]  Because I had farts this morning from Taco Bell last night.
[00:14:06]  I mean, White Castle last night.
[00:14:08]  That smelt like an old friend's house.
[00:14:11]  Like, you know how some people's houses have, like, a smell to them?
[00:14:14]  Yeah, so you have friends with 80-year-olds?
[00:14:17]  No.
[00:14:17]  Well, it was a trailer.
[00:14:19]  So it's like everybody lived on one floor and it's like everybody's odor ruminates.
[00:14:23]  So my fart smelled like an entire trailer household of people this morning.
[00:14:28]  So you wouldn't want to fly with me.
[00:14:31]  I have a Proud Boys announcement I have to make.
[00:14:36]  Where is that now?
[00:14:37]  I guess this is a place where you can air your grievances.
[00:14:45]  Okay, here it is.
[00:14:47]  This is the Pacific Northwest.
[00:14:49]  Proud Boys are having a split.
[00:14:51]  They've disavowed a chapter.
[00:14:53]  The Spokane chapter has been disavowed by the entire Pacific Northwest.
[00:14:59]  The collective vote of all PNW chapters voted to disavow the Spokane, Washington Proud Boys chapter for behavior unbecoming.
[00:15:07]  On more than one occasion, they're going to chance to reconcile this issue, and it didn't work.
[00:15:13]  So we have had to take extreme actions.
[00:15:17]  We believe that their behavior was unbecoming of the Brotherhood and unacceptable.
[00:15:21]  We are to maintain a level of trust and security that will ensure the future of our fraternity.
[00:15:25]  The entirety of the investigation was done with the majority of the West Coast chapters in order to have full transparency.

=== Midnight Needs Nine (01:44) ===

[00:15:32]  I don't know what you done, Spokane, but you done pissed off the brothers.
[00:15:37]  Is this official, like gavel official?
[00:15:39]  Yep, let me just get out of the gavel here.
[00:15:44]  According to the Pacific Northwest Divisions of the Proud Boys, Spokane has been disavowed.
[00:15:58]  Okay, got that.
[00:15:59]  Okay, this is kind of fun.
[00:16:04]  I started too many shows with my fucking bitch wife.
[00:16:08]  And she's such a fucking squaw who does get up early with the kids and drive them to school.
[00:16:16]  So my bedtime, I cannot get a wink before midnight.
[00:16:20]  And she needs her nine hours.
[00:16:24]  All Indians do.
[00:16:26]  So she's got to go to bed at like 10, right?
[00:16:29]  She's up at 7, 8, 9, yeah.
[00:16:33]  And then sometimes she'll like read in bed with my littlest boy, and he's in bed at like 9.30.
[00:16:37]  So sometimes she'll fall asleep at 9.30.
[00:16:39]  So I can't watch Shogun without the fucking bitch, without cheating.
[00:16:45]  And then I can't watch The Gentleman.
[00:16:49]  We managed to pull off that shitty gay rape show, Baby Reindeer, about being a weak man.

=== Pemberton's Game Misstep (08:11) ===

[00:16:56]  So now I'm like, I started Master of the Year.
[00:16:59]  That's pretty good.
[00:17:00]  And then I just thought, oh, at one point I was watching Person of Interest because I had to watch something that no one else would want to see.
[00:17:06]  And it's just, it's action meets lifetime network.
[00:17:10]  And I'm not exaggerating.
[00:17:11]  It's the Tyler Perry of white male action movies, TV series.
[00:17:16]  But then I go, oh, what's this follow-out here?
[00:17:18]  I clicked on it, and it's got that guy we have a crush on.
[00:17:21]  The one who goes, you seen these spiders around?
[00:17:25]  I mean, I'm counting the legs there.
[00:17:27]  One leg, two leg, three leg.
[00:17:29]  Remember that guy?
[00:17:30]  No.
[00:17:30]  Yes, you do.
[00:17:31]  It's like five legs.
[00:17:32]  And he looks in the audience and goes, I'm not done.
[00:17:35]  Six legs, seven, eight.
[00:17:38]  How many legs does this fucking thing need?
[00:17:41]  Jimmy Pemberton, I think his name is.
[00:17:44]  You don't remember this, Ryan?
[00:17:45]  No.
[00:17:46]  What a garbage brain you have.
[00:17:49]  Jimmy Pemberton.
[00:17:50]  Johnny Pemberton.
[00:17:53]  How can you not remember that?
[00:17:54]  That's one of the funniest Sprinkles guys we had on.
[00:17:58]  Oh, you know what?
[00:17:59]  I recognize his face, but what does he do?
[00:18:01]  He's doing an Italian guy as a joke, and he's talking about how many legs spiders have.
[00:18:06]  Did we show him once?
[00:18:07]  Yes.
[00:18:08]  Okay.
[00:18:08]  But I'm guessing you went on a rabbit show.
[00:18:10]  He's wasting the show with not remembering things.
[00:18:12]  Like, this isn't here to help you remember things.
[00:18:15]  It's not a memory.
[00:18:16]  You just hung up a meme not memoring him.
[00:18:19]  I don't know the words exactly.
[00:18:21]  I'm getting about under.
[00:18:25]  Best part's coming.
[00:18:26]  I'm getting about under.
[00:18:27]  Oh, give me the right don't you do.
[00:18:30]  Don't you forget about it.
[00:18:34]  Anyway, he's great.
[00:18:36]  And then he ends the spider bit with he goes, then a fucking snake comes in the room.
[00:18:39]  No legs.
[00:18:42]  So I go, I like looking at his stupid face.
[00:18:45]  And the fact that he was that funny is fun too.
[00:18:48]  So I go, okay, I'll tune in.
[00:18:50]  And it's 250 years after the apocalypse.
[00:18:53]  Some people, rich people, live underground, and they have a pretty reasonable system.
[00:18:57]  And then outside, it's just total and utter fucking chaos.
[00:19:00]  Radioactive monsters and everyone's dying and there's tribes, blah, blah, blah.
[00:19:05]  And one of the things they have is a system just like the monarchy with knights and a squire.
[00:19:11]  And the knights are in these big robot costumes and the squires run around with a bag of things, just like real knights and squires.
[00:19:17]  And of course, the squire, there's a whole pecking order where the knights treat the squires like shit, and then the squires will bully the new squires.
[00:19:24]  Normal, healthy stuff.
[00:19:26]  But the series is written by a chick.
[00:19:29]  So I'm like, okay, again, what do we do with fiction as non-mo people?
[00:19:34]  You take it on the chin, and you're like, all right, black female lead, whatever, all right, all right.
[00:19:40]  But some punches are just like, I'm out.
[00:19:43]  I got knocked out.
[00:19:44]  And there's a scene in it where I don't think, so I could handle, Like the rookies are picking on the new rookie, normal, but he's black.
[00:19:53]  Oh, great.
[00:19:55]  So they have this black dude.
[00:19:56]  It's based on a video game this show.
[00:19:58]  And he's like getting kicked and stuff.
[00:20:00]  And you're supposed to feel, I guess the white woman who wrote it does, you're supposed to feel more sympathy and be like, what the fuck?
[00:20:09]  250 years after today, and we're still the 1950s.
[00:20:14]  I'm like, I don't care.
[00:20:16]  All the rookies get beat up.
[00:20:17]  And Johnny Pemberton, why aren't you showing footage of the show Fallout?
[00:20:21]  Why are you showing me a fucking black?
[00:20:23]  We have the rapper poor clip.
[00:20:26]  Okay.
[00:20:30]  So he's fighting a monster there.
[00:20:33]  And he's being a bitch, of course.
[00:20:34]  A Yao Guay.
[00:20:36]  Turn it up.
[00:20:39]  What was that weird piano music you were playing?
[00:20:41]  It's a theme to Fallout.
[00:20:44]  I take it you've played this video game?
[00:20:46]  I love that game.
[00:20:57]  Hey, go jump forward a bit more.
[00:20:59]  So the black guy shoots the monster werewolf guy.
[00:21:10]  Fuck.
[00:21:12]  Fuck.
[00:21:14]  Fuck this shit.
[00:21:16]  Fuck!
[00:21:17]  Where were you?
[00:21:19]  Huh?
[00:21:20]  That's supposed to be abusive.
[00:21:21]  Fucking place.
[00:21:23]  There's always something to ruin your fucking day.
[00:21:28]  This wasteland fucking sucks.
[00:21:30]  Okay, so he's upset.
[00:21:31]  He's bleeding.
[00:21:33]  With their bullshit.
[00:21:35]  Send him me away.
[00:21:37]  Stupid missions for remnants that turn out to be a fucking toaster oven.
[00:21:45]  Okay.
[00:21:46]  You know what you can do in a fucking toaster oven?
[00:21:49]  So jump ahead.
[00:21:50]  The guy's upset here, right?
[00:21:52]  And then he starts saying, you fucked up.
[00:21:54]  You're the shittiest cleric ever.
[00:21:58]  And he's saying, I think you take that so you don't get radiated.
[00:22:02]  And he goes, give me that.
[00:22:03]  And he's like, you fucked up.
[00:22:04]  You know what they do to assholes like you that fuck up?
[00:22:07]  They kill you.
[00:22:07]  You're dead when we get back.
[00:22:10]  That don't do their fucking job.
[00:22:12]  They string you up.
[00:22:17]  Maximus by your lungs and they hang you and let the vultures come get you.
[00:22:28]  That's what they're going to do to you.
[00:22:32]  This maybe changes it a bit.
[00:22:36]  Fucking sports.
[00:22:36]  I kind of missed that part where he said you're definitely going to die if we go back.
[00:22:41]  I thought he was just insulting him.
[00:22:46]  But anyway, he clearly kills him.
[00:22:49]  And it's a sympathetic thing.
[00:22:52]  In fact, it's kind of heroic.
[00:22:55]  Oh, you're definitely.
[00:22:56]  Yeah.
[00:22:57]  You're made to feel like he's making the right decision.
[00:22:59]  So you've seen this.
[00:23:00]  Yeah.
[00:23:01]  Yeah, it's kind of noble.
[00:23:03]  And I'm like, this is a white woman writing a show where the black guy kills his evil white boss.
[00:23:10]  and it's applauded You think you do?
[00:23:22]  But they make him to be like an idiot.
[00:23:24]  So he has this moment here, but if you keep watching, he's like a goofy idiot.
[00:23:31]  And my friend who watched the entire series was like, yeah, it never gets better.
[00:23:34]  He's just always the worst.
[00:23:39]  And oh, the girl.
[00:23:40]  So the protagonist of this show, she's a really weird-looking half-Asian chick with eyes that it looks good on a science fiction show because she looks like a bug from Dr. Zeus.
[00:23:49]  But in real life, I bet it's weird being around her.
[00:23:51]  Hi, Jen.
[00:23:53]  Oh, what the fuck?
[00:23:54]  What are you looking at?
[00:23:57]  She sees him and is just like, ah, just madly in love.
[00:24:02]  That's her.
[00:24:05]  Isn't that a weird face?
[00:24:07]  It's so cartoony.
[00:24:09]  Anyway, I don't know if I can get past this black guy killing his white boss and it being awesome and her being madly in love with the black murderer.
[00:24:20]  So you haven't watched the whole thing?
[00:24:22]  No.
[00:24:23]  I think we're two episodes away from the end.
[00:24:27]  Okay, why are you being weird?
[00:24:29]  It's all right.
[00:24:30]  I have complex feelings about it because I've played the video game for like 12 years ago or something like that.
[00:24:35]  Is the black guy like a hero who kills his white boss in the video game?
[00:24:39]  No, those are not characters.
[00:24:40]  So the way that Fallout works is it takes place in different, like each game takes place in different areas.
[00:24:45]  One of them is like post-apocalyptic DC.
[00:24:48]  One of them is like New Vegas.
[00:24:50]  And what do you do?
[00:24:51]  You go around shooting people?

=== Pop Goes The Generator (03:41) ===

[00:24:53]  Yeah, and you loot, you collect stuff, you build weapons.
[00:24:55]  Like ammo is very scarce, and you have to like be careful with the radiation and stuff.
[00:24:59]  It's a lot of like, it's very, I don't know.
[00:25:03]  I tried to pick it up.
[00:25:04]  You need in a situation like that?
[00:25:05]  You need jump medic, I would guess.
[00:25:07]  You need a jump medic hard shell case.
[00:25:10]  We've shown you the soft case.
[00:25:12]  But today in the mail, we have, oh, check this out.
[00:25:16]  Narcan.
[00:25:17]  Everyone should have this in their home.
[00:25:19]  Oh, yeah, my kids don't do drugs.
[00:25:21]  You don't know that.
[00:25:22]  A. And B, what about your kids' friends?
[00:25:25]  What about some idiot comes over and someone runs up the stairs?
[00:25:28]  Dad, Dad, Josie's freaking out.
[00:25:32]  And you go, oh, fuck.
[00:25:33]  And then you can run over and save their life.
[00:25:36]  I think they're free at a lot of places, but they're on Amazon for nothing.
[00:25:40]  Anyway, we have just received the JumpMedic hard shell case.
[00:25:45]  I've been taking care of everything in my life this week.
[00:25:49]  Like getting all the cars registered, insured, all the engine morning lights taken care of, all deep, clean, super detailed.
[00:25:56]  All right, that's done.
[00:25:57]  The generator, it wasn't hooked up to the fuse box.
[00:26:00]  I got an electrician in.
[00:26:01]  He put a big plug outside.
[00:26:03]  Now that's ready.
[00:26:04]  Now I got to fix the generator.
[00:26:05]  The battery's low.
[00:26:05]  I'm going to charge that.
[00:26:07]  The power's never gone out of my house like for decades before I lived there.
[00:26:10]  In our old place, a squirrel would go on the transformer and boom, boom, we're out of power for two days.
[00:26:16]  But I don't think the power is ever going to go up.
[00:26:18]  But now I know I'm safe if it does.
[00:26:21]  And once you get all those ducks in a row, you can relax and you're a real man.
[00:26:25]  So one of the things you absolutely have to have is rations in case food runs out, water in case we lose water, a plan in case your basement floods, some pump and all that, and a first aid kit, a quality first aid kit.
[00:26:38]  So let's open this up, shall we?
[00:26:43]  I've never used one of these before.
[00:26:45]  You twist it, I guess.
[00:26:47]  That comes off easy enough.
[00:26:49]  And then it's got this valve that you can open and close and not worry about it getting wet.
[00:26:57]  Okay, so we open that up, and then we go pop, pop.
[00:27:02]  Kaboom.
[00:27:03]  Look at that.
[00:27:03]  It's got an inventory list.
[00:27:06]  It's got the mini to-go bag for your little hikes when you're going to find water.
[00:27:10]  And then just all of your basics from arm splint, finger splint, trauma shears, transparent dressing, bleed stop, 4x4 gauze, 2x2 gauze.
[00:27:19]  Basically, this is everything that we gave Iran in that $7 million deal, right?
[00:27:24]  They said it's just going to be for medical emergencies.
[00:27:28]  Yeah, right.
[00:27:30]  So then you get that, and it's in your RV, or it's in your garage, or it's in your boat, and now that's handled.
[00:27:37]  You know what I mean?
[00:27:39]  The next thing you know, you're prepared for anything.
[00:27:43]  And when there's an issue, there's an emergency, oh my God, someone's cut, someone's ODing.
[00:27:48]  You go, I got it, I got it.
[00:27:49]  I have a plan for that.
[00:27:51]  That's the thing.
[00:27:52]  That's why I said you're a real man if you have all these ducks in a row.
[00:27:55]  Because what do women do when they walk down the street?
[00:27:58]  They go, making my way back home.
[00:28:00]  Doodle, dunk, doo-doo-doo-doo, diddle-le-diddle-le-dunk.
[00:28:03]  We have seven things going at once.
[00:28:05]  Some of them I'm not proud of.
[00:28:06]  Some of them are like, I wonder what she'd be like to fuck.
[00:28:08]  Yeah, she'd probably do this.
[00:28:09]  If I was to fuck her, I'd probably do this and this, and then maybe make her wear little red socks, blah, blah, blah.
[00:28:13]  That's one trajectory going at all times.
[00:28:15]  And then there's the other one of, okay, if that guy attacks it, why is that guy walking so close to me?

=== Woke Apocalypse Coding (01:47) ===

[00:28:20]  There's no reason for that.
[00:28:22]  I'm going to turn and see if he turns.
[00:28:23]  Okay, what's going on over here?
[00:28:24]  Oh, he turned the other way.
[00:28:25]  Okay, he's not following me.
[00:28:26]  What about this guy?
[00:28:27]  Could I take that guy?
[00:28:29]  What if someone started shooting right now?
[00:28:31]  I guess I could go under that.
[00:28:32]  We have that going.
[00:28:34]  So the ducks are there.
[00:28:35]  All I'm saying is get them in a row with jumpmedic.com.
[00:28:39]  Promo code, best promo code we've ever had on the show, Ryan Sucks.
[00:28:43]  And that gets you 10% off.
[00:28:49]  And that's it for the freeloaders.
[00:28:52]  We got to get back to the fun stuff where we can speak uncensored.
[00:28:57]  And yeah, some of these jokes can get a little raunchy.
[00:29:00]  Some of them can have rape in the word.
[00:29:03]  Some of them even include the n-word.
[00:29:06]  But that's the way things used to be before the woke opalyx.
[00:29:12]  Apocalypse?
[00:29:13]  Woke up a woke up.
[00:29:14]  Woke apocalypse.
[00:29:15]  Watch this, Nick.
[00:29:19]  Full clip afterwards.
[00:29:20]  Before the woke apocalypse, you could make offensive jokes.
[00:29:24]  And that's the beauty of censored.tv, folks.
[00:29:27]  You have a hard day, you come home, you think, I'm insane.
[00:29:30]  The world's left me.
[00:29:31]  I'm the only person who is normal in the world.
[00:29:34]  Then just like in Fallout, you get a signal on your reclaimed TV from 250 years ago.
[00:29:43]  And there we are, saying the same things you're thinking, but funnier.
[00:29:49]  So until next week, Freeloaders, get fired, get in trouble, be brave, and never stop fighting.
[00:29:56]  You know this beat is working loud as fake tomorrow.
[00:29:59]  Senior citizen, but my neck dog coding.
[00:30:02]  I got the blood hot, but my wrists are frozen.
[00:30:05]  I froze.