Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes - S4E279 - BABY AL CAPONES (Part 1)
Aired: 2023-08-04
Duration: 50:35


=== Weezer Whispers (03:06) ===

[00:00:13]  Live from New York, it's Get Off My Lawn with Gavin McInnes.
[00:00:20]  The crone and death of an empire.
[00:00:33]  Roll a trick and dice.
[00:00:36]  You're all vampires.
[00:00:38]  Have a good life.
[00:00:57]  Oops.
[00:00:58]  What does that remind me of?
[00:01:01]  It's not cake.
[00:01:03]  It's not pavement or Weezer or wait, kind of Weezery.
[00:01:07]  It is kind of Weezery.
[00:01:08]  Maybe it's Weezer.
[00:01:09]  Yeah.
[00:01:10]  The guitar is especially like that.
[00:01:15]  Play Weezer.
[00:01:17]  That guy's name is Tobias.
[00:01:18]  He's a fellow hoser.
[00:01:21]  North Vancouver dude.
[00:01:24]  Lived in LA for a while.
[00:01:26]  He's a great singer-songwriter.
[00:01:28]  He's like a wonder kid.
[00:01:29]  writes for Adele and all kinds of pop stars.
[00:01:42]  I think the bass is playing chords.
[00:01:43]  Not in this one, but...
[00:01:52]  Built to spill.
[00:01:53]  The fuzz is really...
[00:01:57]  No.
[00:01:58]  I mean, not saying that you love it, but it reminds you of it.
[00:02:01]  No, it's the vocals that sound like the same.
[00:02:05]  I remind you.
[00:02:08]  I don't want to mistake no.
[00:02:13]  Yeah, really impressive guy, award-winning songwriter.
[00:02:16]  He could be rich as shit and live in L.A., but he prefers to hang out with his Australian wife and kid in Hosertown.
[00:02:25]  Do you think he's good because she's Australian and he's getting some of the magic?
[00:02:28]  Ooh, cheating, are we?
[00:02:31]  No, he's been a successful singer, songwriter, and musician for a long time.
[00:02:38]  I don't know if this is going to be a good show.
[00:02:40]  Don't get your hopes up.
[00:02:42]  Why don't we try to make it bad?
[00:02:44]  That's kind of funny.
[00:02:45]  That's a new angle here.
[00:02:47]  It's the shitty episode.
[00:02:51]  Ah, fuck.
[00:02:54]  Bro, bra.
[00:02:55]  See, even that was shitty.
[00:02:57]  What was that?
[00:02:58]  I've never seen that drop before.
[00:02:59]  Yeah, yeah.
[00:03:01]  L-O-L-L-M-F-A-O, bro, bra, dude.

=== Why We Say Dude (03:49) ===

[00:03:07]  Was he anti-slang?
[00:03:10]  You're not allowed to use acronyms?
[00:03:12]  Yeah, step on the crack, break your mother's back.
[00:03:14]  Yeah, I don't think so.
[00:03:15]  It's called a lie.
[00:03:17]  You're coming from my bro, bro?
[00:03:20]  I love bro and dude.
[00:03:22]  He does it with racial epithets?
[00:03:24]  Someone sends you some like cop goes into mall and shoots 10 people for no reason.
[00:03:29]  If someone sent me that as a news thing, I would respond, dude.
[00:03:35]  Or even some perfect naked lady, dude.
[00:03:39]  Bro.
[00:03:39]  Holy crap.
[00:03:40]  I remember when I moved from the Bronx to Hudson Valley, New York, that's the first time I ever heard dude besides like a surfer in a cartoon.
[00:03:47]  And they were like, what's up, dude?
[00:03:48]  And they were riding skateboards and shit.
[00:03:50]  Yeah, my neighbors.
[00:03:50]  And I was like, you guys say dude.
[00:03:53]  And I don't even remember what we said before that.
[00:03:55]  I guess it was just yo.
[00:03:56]  Instead of dude, we would be like, yo.
[00:03:58]  Well, if you're coming from College City and the Bronx, you were probably using an N phrase.
[00:04:02]  I don't think.
[00:04:04]  No, I only heard that last year.
[00:04:06]  Purple Works for a sponsor.
[00:04:09]  It's my pre-workout energy drink.
[00:04:12]  I notice I'm a real chatty kathy at the gym because I take it at 9.
[00:04:17]  I go to the gym at 9.30.
[00:04:18]  You're supposed to take it half an hour before.
[00:04:20]  I've also quit coffee because there's caffeine in this.
[00:04:24]  And I find if I don't work out, I don't take this, right?
[00:04:27]  My caffeine tolerance goes down.
[00:04:30]  So when I take this, it's an extra zingy McDoodle.
[00:04:33]  Don't have coffee if you've had Purple Works.
[00:04:36]  But this is my stuff.
[00:04:37]  No artificial dyes, sweeteners, or preservatives.
[00:04:40]  Contains high-quality creatine, carnisin, beta, alanine, caffeine, green tea extract, and vitamins.
[00:04:46]  I also am getting ripped.
[00:04:48]  Okay, not ripped.
[00:04:49]  I'll never be ripped.
[00:04:50]  But I used to have Grover shoulders, and now I have actual shoulders.
[00:04:55]  Nothing to write home about, but definitely the most muscular I've ever been in my entire life, besides, you know, being a bike messenger and a tree planter as a young man.
[00:05:04]  Move over, Grover.
[00:05:05]  Shoulders are taking over.
[00:05:10]  It's the shitty show.
[00:05:12]  They now have fine Italian coffee, including instant coffee, two types of ground coffee, and a big-ass 2.2-pound bag of organic coffee.
[00:05:18]  Look at that.
[00:05:20]  We have all that here.
[00:05:22]  This isn't a dropship product that they've slapped their name on.
[00:05:25]  This is a real deal imported from Italy.
[00:05:27]  So go to purpleworksnutrition.com, enter promo code GAVIN for 15% off your entire order.
[00:05:35]  Damn.
[00:05:36]  Yeah, organic?
[00:05:37]  You want to go organic?
[00:05:40]  These guys know what's up.
[00:05:40]  They're fancy.
[00:05:41]  And they approve, too.
[00:05:42]  Yeah.
[00:05:43]  Unlike many other things.
[00:05:45]  And I can tell you firsthand, I take it every time I work out.
[00:05:49]  I haven't been going to the gym every day in the summer, by the way.
[00:05:52]  Uh-oh.
[00:05:52]  The heat in that gym is just...
[00:06:04]  That's the only way to survive.
[00:06:06]  And that's hell.
[00:06:07]  It's very unpleasant.
[00:06:09]  And it stinks.
[00:06:11]  Boxing gyms in August are the stinkiest places in the world.
[00:06:15]  I'm not telling Purple Works very well, but it is the shitty show.
[00:06:18]  Speaking of the shitty show, you know that ridiculous homosexual who gets on to talk about pronouns?
[00:06:27]  He's so excited.
[00:06:29]  I think gays Got mad when we said we're fine with you because they're like, What?
[00:06:35]  But I'm a freak, I'm scary, and I'm unusual.

=== New Flags and Pronouns (10:10) ===

[00:06:38]  No, you're not, you're just a gay.
[00:06:40]  And they went, Okay, guess what?
[00:06:42]  I am now.
[00:06:43]  What?
[00:06:44]  A new thing.
[00:06:45]  What are you?
[00:06:46]  It's new.
[00:06:48]  Okay, I get it.
[00:06:48]  It's new.
[00:06:49]  What is it?
[00:06:50]  It's a woman.
[00:06:51]  No, it's not a woman.
[00:06:52]  It's kind of a woman.
[00:06:53]  What?
[00:06:54]  Yeah, there's a whole bunch of letters involved, and there's a plus sign for things I didn't remember.
[00:06:59]  And we have a new flag.
[00:07:00]  You have a new flag.
[00:07:02]  Your flag was a rainbow.
[00:07:03]  It said, I am everything.
[00:07:05]  Well, there's more stuff than the rainbow now.
[00:07:08]  What?
[00:07:10]  What are you talking about?
[00:07:12]  There's sort of like, look up Halfwits, the SCTV sketch.
[00:07:18]  It was a sketch Catherine O'Hara wrote.
[00:07:22]  And it's about a quiz show where everyone is a complete imbecile.
[00:07:28]  And Lawrence is awesome.
[00:07:31]  John Canny is great.
[00:07:32]  But go to Joe Flaherty with his big fake nose.
[00:07:37]  Yeah, him.
[00:07:39]  You are in medical research.
[00:07:41]  Would you care to tell us a little about that?
[00:07:43]  I lied.
[00:07:45]  I'm sorry?
[00:07:47]  I lied.
[00:07:48]  I thought it would sound good on TV.
[00:07:50]  Well, what exactly do you do for a living, Arthur?
[00:07:55]  Well, it's a job.
[00:07:56]  It's nothing special.
[00:07:57]  What kind of a job?
[00:07:59]  Just a job, you know, not a normal job.
[00:08:01]  What do you do for a living?
[00:08:02]  At home.
[00:08:04]  I work.
[00:08:05]  Where?
[00:08:05]  Oh, around.
[00:08:07]  All right, I don't have time for this.
[00:08:08]  Yeah, Arthur.
[00:08:08]  See, that is, in a nutshell, is the gay experience in America.
[00:08:13]  We're asking you what's going on.
[00:08:14]  You keep moving the goalposts, and now, I guess you've achieved what you were trying to achieve, which is I'm annoying you again.
[00:08:24]  It's like if you're punk and your parents are like, oh, that's cute.
[00:08:26]  Yeah, exactly.
[00:08:27]  Exactly.
[00:08:28]  And then you get a facial tattoo and your parents are like, all right, now I'm mad.
[00:08:32]  Good work.
[00:08:33]  So this guy has achieved.
[00:08:35]  I'm homophobic again.
[00:08:36]  You did it.
[00:08:37]  Congratulations.
[00:08:38]  I wish I could give him a face tattoo so bad.
[00:08:40]  Xeno pronouns, perhaps one of the most beautiful concepts, refers to any pronoun a person has that is unspeakable.
[00:08:50]  What are your pronouns?
[00:08:54]  He's not just a.
[00:08:55]  A xeno pronoun would be a word.
[00:08:57]  I can't even say it, right?
[00:08:58]  Because that's the point.
[00:08:59]  And sort of effervescent and unknowable, kind of like a person's gender.
[00:09:03]  I don't think you know what effervescent means.
[00:09:06]  A xeno.
[00:09:07]  Ethereal pronoun would contain a set of letters that is a pronunciation that a human being can't pronounce.
[00:09:17]  Understanding where non-binary people come from can sometimes take us into very lofty, beautiful, spiritual, poetic.
[00:09:27]  I don't know about all that.
[00:09:28]  Zeno pronouns.
[00:09:30]  Imagine his poor dad.
[00:09:33]  There's a Vietnam vet who was in the shit.
[00:09:37]  What are they called them?
[00:09:37]  The grunts?
[00:09:38]  The guys who had to carry their packs for three days.
[00:09:42]  Okay, there's those guys.
[00:09:43]  Thank you for your service.
[00:09:44]  And then there's this guy's dad.
[00:09:47]  I think on Veterans Day, that should be the only exception.
[00:09:51]  It's all veterans, and then this guy's dad is also standing with them.
[00:09:54]  And we all are like, thank you for your service, dude.
[00:09:57]  You poor bastard.
[00:09:59]  That's worse than Gigi Gorgeous' dad at the wedding, where she was the bride.
[00:10:05]  They always seem very supportive.
[00:10:08]  Yeah, yeah.
[00:10:08]  Gigi Gorgeous' husband was, I saw pictures, he was ecstatic at the wedding.
[00:10:13]  Maybe he was on Xanax or something.
[00:10:14]  I don't quite get it.
[00:10:15]  Natty and Getty.
[00:10:18]  Also in the news, kind of exciting.
[00:10:21]  Oh, yeah.
[00:10:24]  Well, his son was marrying a millionaire.
[00:10:27]  I mean, if the gay thing is inevitable, then at least you're about to be rich.
[00:10:34]  We're here at Gigi and Nat's wedding.
[00:10:36]  It's a real who's who of what's that?
[00:10:41]  The cane.
[00:10:42]  It's a mentally ill convention.
[00:10:44]  I still don't know.
[00:10:45]  Oh, that ain't from Room.
[00:10:46]  That's Matt Getty.
[00:10:48]  Mountains, and it's their IT guy.
[00:10:51]  You now and forever will be each other's best friends, but you'll always be my sisters.
[00:10:56]  I can't wait to continue watching the greatest love story ever told.
[00:11:00]  That's not Justin Bieber.
[00:11:01]  That's Jared Leto Bieber.
[00:11:04]  It's a combo.
[00:11:05]  He's a trans celebrity.
[00:11:08]  Oh my God.
[00:11:10]  You can tell these weddings are fake by the way they ham it up.
[00:11:14]  The black thing going on.
[00:11:16]  Look at that.
[00:11:18]  That's not how you've been to weddings.
[00:11:19]  That's not how weddings are.
[00:11:22]  The bride is like, and the dad's there.
[00:11:25]  He might shed a tear later.
[00:11:27]  And then the groom is just like, wow, it was great.
[00:11:32]  They don't do these theatrics.
[00:11:34]  It's like solemn almost.
[00:11:35]  And I did see one where the guy was like, crying.
[00:11:39]  I was like, you're gay.
[00:11:42]  You're not straight.
[00:11:44]  Speaking of gay, I think these two are gay.
[00:11:48]  The Satanist to the stars, Marina Moblovic and Early.
[00:11:56]  No, it's 1-5, sorry.
[00:12:01]  Check this out.
[00:12:03]  What they did was they were together as a couple.
[00:12:05]  One would start at the end of the Great Wall of China and the other started at the other end.
[00:12:11]  And they decided to break up.
[00:12:12]  So they met in the middle and then they kissed for the last time.
[00:12:17]  She's the Satanist that has all the rituals that turn the spirit politicians into.
[00:12:21]  Yeah, the spirit cooking and all that.
[00:12:24]  Stood around and walked off.
[00:12:26]  That was it for the relationship.
[00:12:28]  30 years later, she decides.
[00:12:31]  You break up and you make a big to-do of it and you go around the Great Wall of China and then meet on the other side.
[00:12:40]  You're gay.
[00:12:42]  They're both gay.
[00:12:43]  To run this exhibition, sort of in-person life exhibition at one of the main museums.
[00:12:49]  Her exhibition is anybody who wants to line up can stand in line and then sit down at a table for two in the middle of a big room and stare into this person's eyes.
[00:12:58]  So he decides to line up.
[00:13:02]  He's wearing the worst shoes for a grown up.
[00:13:04]  He's sitting down after 30 years of not seeing her.
[00:13:07]  Black Chucks.
[00:13:08]  Sits down, you're not allowed to talk in this exhibition.
[00:13:11]  And the two of them look into each other's eyes.
[00:13:14]  Look into each other's eyes.
[00:13:15]  And both just start crying.
[00:13:18]  And then, after five minutes of the two of them sitting there, I guess that's what you call an ugly cry.
[00:13:23]  No.
[00:13:24]  I don't know if she's got the option.
[00:13:25]  And walks away again.
[00:13:27]  I actually kind of like never knowing when the next time you're retarded.
[00:13:31]  I think that's, I mean, like, it's so pretentious.
[00:13:34]  It's so gay.
[00:13:35]  I hate her.
[00:13:36]  I won't say hate.
[00:13:37]  I dislike her very strongly.
[00:13:38]  I think she's cringe.
[00:13:39]  I think she's satanic.
[00:13:40]  I don't think she has kids either.
[00:13:41]  So she's a lesbian and he's a homo.
[00:13:43]  And they had a relationship for like nine or ten years.
[00:13:48]  They're just doing a parody of relationships.
[00:13:51]  She makes everything so awkward and pretentious and shitty.
[00:13:54]  But yeah, no, the concept of not seeing somebody for that long and then you see them is, that's pretty moving.
[00:13:59]  I like that.
[00:14:00]  But it's with trash people that are garbage.
[00:14:02]  Yeah, well, it's just a hustle.
[00:14:03]  She's just a great snake oil salesman to the rich.
[00:14:06]  I'll tell you what is kind of romantic, though, and I am very excited about, back to 1-3.
[00:14:11]  So, you know, Christian Montenegro had that girlfriend Natalia.
[00:14:18]  They are married now, and he has three kids.
[00:14:22]  So if you scroll down, there's the wedding.
[00:14:24]  They got the cake on each other.
[00:14:26]  Oh, my God.
[00:14:27]  And that's the honeymoon.
[00:14:32]  What a fun wedding.
[00:14:34]  I wish I could have been at that one.
[00:14:35]  That's a little more, that's, But we have footage of them.
[00:14:46]  If you go down, you can see he's Colombian.
[00:14:49]  There's his beautiful wife.
[00:14:51]  She's very petite.
[00:14:52]  Nice smile.
[00:14:53]  She's got good teeth.
[00:14:54]  Keep going.
[00:14:57]  So there they are at home with their kid Sammy.
[00:15:01]  That's nice.
[00:15:02]  He's got her hair.
[00:15:04]  Most of her features, really.
[00:15:06]  Yeah, he really strongly resembles the mom.
[00:15:10]  You have mom's eyelids.
[00:15:13]  Oh, there they are.
[00:15:14]  He gets a little too...
[00:15:17]  I guess he was horny and she was reading?
[00:15:20]  Yeah.
[00:15:20]  I think she always wears glasses.
[00:15:22]  Oh.
[00:15:27]  Oh, I guess they had a relative coming in.
[00:15:30]  Yeah, the doctor.
[00:15:33]  Healthy baby born with pink underpants on.
[00:15:36]  That's a good sign.
[00:15:38]  That shows he's going to be modest.
[00:15:40]  Where did they meet?
[00:15:41]  It's a small world?
[00:15:43]  We met at Disney.
[00:15:44]  She's pretty.
[00:15:45]  Oh, look, he got choked up.
[00:15:48]  If you go to that second one, 1-4, you can see Sammy himself, though.
[00:15:55]  That's their child.
[00:15:57]  Oh, this is video from the delivery room.
[00:16:04]  It's been quiet.
[00:16:16]  So that's cute.
[00:16:18]  Oh, here's their wedding song.
[00:16:19]  Yeah.
[00:16:26]  That's crazy.
[00:16:27]  That was a weird laugh I just did.
[00:16:29]  Let's, so you know, I love the competence crisis and how dumb everyone has become.

=== Large Gatherings Controversy (11:30) ===

[00:16:34]  There's a lot of reasons behind it.
[00:16:36]  One of the main reasons is now our newest, biggest-selling shirt, diversity, inclusion, and equity.
[00:16:46]  That's for sale at the shop at censored.tv.
[00:16:49]  Here, we just submitted photos of us modeling them, and we look nice.
[00:16:53]  I don't know if it's been put up yet, but here we go.
[00:16:57]  There it is.
[00:16:59]  It's quality.
[00:17:00]  I know you see the price and you say, what the f ⁇ ?
[00:17:02]  Dude, this will last forever.
[00:17:03]  And the more you wear it, the better it'll be.
[00:17:05]  But it's like a nice, thick, but breathable.
[00:17:08]  It's nice in the summer, too.
[00:17:09]  I was wearing it yesterday.
[00:17:11]  And the print is great.
[00:17:12]  And it looks like a, I don't know, like you're a volunteer for some community service thing.
[00:17:16]  Yeah, I love those kind of jokes where people like it at first, and then they go, I think it's DEI.
[00:17:24]  You go, no, it's not.
[00:17:25]  Nope, not mine.
[00:17:27]  So one thing I always emphasize with the competence crisis is it's not just, you could change the background, I guess.
[00:17:33]  It's not just diversity.
[00:17:35]  Because the rut people get into is they go, oh, you have to hire a black woman.
[00:17:38]  And it's not just that.
[00:17:40]  It's also greed.
[00:17:41]  It's also lazy Zoomers.
[00:17:44]  It's also screen addiction.
[00:17:46]  The death of education.
[00:17:48]  The lack of discipline, lack of grit, mobility.
[00:17:51]  It's a million.
[00:17:52]  It's the perfect storm.
[00:17:53]  The perfect shitstorm.
[00:17:55]  But anyway, here's an example where it's just diversity.
[00:17:58]  And we just had this guy fired.
[00:18:01]  A very storied career, this man had.
[00:18:05]  And he made his bones on the supposition that white people saw lynching happen.
[00:18:15]  And yes, a disproportionate number of blacks were lynched.
[00:18:19]  They were also disproportionately represented in the crime stats.
[00:18:22]  And plenty of whites were lynched.
[00:18:24]  Back in the day, all you needed was 12 people to agree that this guy sucks.
[00:18:28]  And he got hanged.
[00:18:31]  But I guess he's under the impression only black people were hanged.
[00:18:34]  And then, it's not hung, asshole.
[00:18:37]  And then he went further and said, yeah, they're so used to seeing that that they want stricter sentences for blacks and Hispanics.
[00:18:47]  And I think someone, actually, I think it was four years earlier, a student of his went, that's not true.
[00:18:54]  And I looked at your data and it's made up.
[00:18:57]  So go to the movie at the top.
[00:18:59]  Movie.
[00:19:00]  It's a movie.
[00:19:05]  It's been fired on extreme negligence that he fudged data on racism studies.
[00:19:10]  This seems to be a pattern here.
[00:19:11]  Remember, we saw that woman last week who was fired?
[00:19:14]  He had six of his studies retracted, but the studies are amazing.
[00:19:20]  yes scrutiny fabricated data gotcha gotcha at 2011 That's how long it took.
[00:19:36]  Okay.
[00:19:37]  Oh, they retroactively lynched him.
[00:19:40]  He falsifies data about lynching, and they go, he goes, this is actually a lynching.
[00:19:46]  Yeah, that's the pattern.
[00:19:47]  You lying about lynching.
[00:19:49]  But blow up that thing.
[00:19:50]  Oh, yeah.
[00:19:51]  Florida State University criminology professor Eric Stewart was a guru of the claim that systemic racism infests America's policy, I mean police and American society.
[00:20:01]  Fired after 20 years of his data, including figures used in an explosive study, which claimed the legacy of lynchings made whites perceive blacks as criminals.
[00:20:13]  It's such a weird hypothesis.
[00:20:16]  Like we're sitting there going, I know them Negroes.
[00:20:19]  I saw them hanging.
[00:20:20]  They all get hanged.
[00:20:23]  People don't like lynching.
[00:20:25]  So they don't want to talk about it.
[00:20:26]  It's not in the forefront of their mind.
[00:20:28]  It's like the Holocaust.
[00:20:29]  It's something where you just go, eh, I don't want to talk about it.
[00:20:32]  9-11.
[00:20:33]  It doesn't constantly influence your behavior.
[00:20:41]  Yeah, and that the problem was worse among conservatives.
[00:20:43]  Oh, yeah, he also, he talked about conservatives in low-income neighborhoods.
[00:20:48]  Basically white rednecks are all racist because they're still stuck in the South and the lynching era.
[00:20:54]  I mean, I just out of sheer instinct would go, yeah, that sounds like horseshit.
[00:21:00]  Not true.
[00:21:02]  And it reminds me of Stanford.
[00:21:04]  Remember that diversity dean, 1-7?
[00:21:07]  She had that Trump judge on, and she was screaming at him, and the whole school was yelling at him.
[00:21:15]  Stanford is such a joke.
[00:21:17]  Oh, yeah, yeah.
[00:21:17]  All academia is toast now, by the way.
[00:21:20]  It's all over.
[00:21:20]  You go to school, you go $250,000 in debt to become retarded.
[00:21:26]  You're paying to get dumber.
[00:21:28]  And 100% of students outside of STEM come out of school dumber than when they went in.
[00:21:32]  So she was yelling at him and stuff, and they were all screaming, and there was protests, because he's racist, right?
[00:21:37]  He's a Trump-appointed judge.
[00:21:38]  He must be racist.
[00:21:39]  That's the way it works with them.
[00:21:41]  And then she stepped down.
[00:21:43]  She resigned.
[00:21:44]  But people assume it's because she was such a bitch.
[00:21:46]  No, she resigned for the crime of allowing him to speak at her school.
[00:21:52]  Yeah.
[00:21:54]  In the video, she was actually trying to say, listen, we need to hear him talk because he's the same.
[00:21:59]  That was her crime.
[00:22:00]  Right, right, right.
[00:22:01]  Like, just that little concession of trying to be fair, even a little bit.
[00:22:05]  Yeah.
[00:22:05]  She has to now sat down.
[00:22:06]  That's hilarious.
[00:22:06]  You're done.
[00:22:07]  1-8.
[00:22:08]  But there's a good...
[00:22:20]  He resigned yesterday after being exposed as a research fraud.
[00:22:25]  There's a diversity dean I just mentioned.
[00:22:27]  The word is out on their anti-fund crusade and the insane woke bureaucracy at Stanford, thanks to G. Rilley's work.
[00:22:32]  I think that's the guy at the beacon, Free Beacon.
[00:22:36]  They suppressed scientific freedom during the pandemic by allowing faculty persecutions against my friends.
[00:22:43]  The word is out how the Stanford Internet Observatory was egging the U.S. government to censor Americans based on politics, political viewpoint, in flagrant violation of our Constitution.
[00:22:54]  Yeah.
[00:22:55]  So that's a Stanford alumni pissed off.
[00:22:58]  And the last incompetence before we start the show, this is, I don't know why I love this so much.
[00:23:04]  The mayor of Chicago is worse than Lori Lightfoot.
[00:23:09]  First of all, look at his fucking hair.
[00:23:12]  And the way his hair works with his nose, works with his goatee, he looks like a Rorschach drawing.
[00:23:19]  I see an incompetent mayor.
[00:23:22]  What do you see?
[00:23:23]  So this guy is another academic bureaucrat, you know, lied his way through academia, probably falsifying studies.
[00:23:31]  He got some dumb degree like sociology and education or one of these fake degrees, and then he started teaching and he bureaucratted his way up.
[00:23:40]  He is so stupid that when you talk about mob and mob action and mobs of kids, he thinks of Al Capone.
[00:23:50]  So if you said a swarm of teenagers rated this 7-Eleven, he'd be like, well, we don't need to talk about kids like they're wasps.
[00:23:59]  Actually, that's better because swarm is an analogy.
[00:24:03]  But there's different types of mobs.
[00:24:05]  There's the mafia, and then there's a mob of people, my friend.
[00:24:11]  What do you mean?
[00:24:11]  Can you give us an example of how of the trends you're seeing?
[00:24:14]  Look how dumb he is.
[00:24:15]  You're not aware of some of these large gatherings?
[00:24:18]  You're talking about the mob actions?
[00:24:20]  No, that's not appropriate.
[00:24:23]  We're not talking about mob actions.
[00:24:25]  I didn't say that.
[00:24:26]  what happened.
[00:24:26]  Okay, what I'm...
[00:24:30]  Respectfully.
[00:24:31]  these large gatherings these large gatherings just First of all, I promise you.
[00:24:39]  We have time.
[00:24:40]  First of all, he is offended that you're criticizing a mob of teenagers who are destroying everything in their back.
[00:24:49]  Like, besides the mob typo, why are you so worried about them being criticized?
[00:24:54]  They're bad.
[00:24:55]  They're doing bad things.
[00:24:57]  No?
[00:24:58]  This is like that mayor who wanted to, in Baltimore, who wanted to give the rioters room to riot.
[00:25:04]  Remember that?
[00:25:05]  Space to get their yayas out.
[00:25:09]  Talk.
[00:25:10]  It's important that we speak of these dynamics in an appropriate way.
[00:25:15]  This is not to obfuscate what is actually taking place.
[00:25:17]  Ooh, obfuscate.
[00:25:19]  We have to be very careful when we use language to describe certain behavior.
[00:25:23]  Okay.
[00:25:24]  There's history in this city.
[00:25:25]  Stop.
[00:25:27]  You're not aware.
[00:25:28]  So there's history in this city.
[00:25:29]  He's talking about the mafia in Chicago and prohibition.
[00:25:34]  What?
[00:25:37]  What a moron.
[00:25:38]  It's not to obfuscate what has actually taken place.
[00:25:42]  We have to be very careful when we use language to describe certain behavior.
[00:25:47]  There's history in this city.
[00:25:50]  I mean, to refer to children as like baby al Capones is not appropriate.
[00:25:55]  So, so, so let me just, so just let me, just let me finish, please, okay?
[00:25:59]  What I'm saying is They call a mob of teenagers mob action, which is dictionary definition.
[00:26:06]  And he says, no, no, they're children.
[00:26:08]  And I'm not going to let you call them baby Al Capones.
[00:26:11]  Al Capone had goals.
[00:26:14]  Yeah.
[00:26:16]  Al Capone was way better than these people.
[00:26:19]  He had a code.
[00:26:20]  He had parameters.
[00:26:22]  You asked for very specific examples.
[00:26:24]  And syphilis.
[00:26:25]  There have been other attempts to have large gatherings.
[00:26:27]  And a deaf son.
[00:26:28]  It's just a large gathering, by the way.
[00:26:30]  That happens to involve intercepted those attempts.
[00:26:34]  Specific examples.
[00:26:35]  There have been other attempts to have large gatherings.
[00:26:38]  And we've intercepted those attempts.
[00:26:42]  Mary Ann, do you have a question?
[00:26:43]  Yeah, I just had to follow up recording this.
[00:26:46]  Wow.
[00:26:48]  Before we start the show, don't worry, I'm not going to go behind the paywall just yet.
[00:26:52]  Johnny Apple CBD.
[00:26:53]  Today's episode of Get Off My Lawn is brought to you by Johnny Apple CBD, a loyal sponsor since day one.
[00:26:59]  I'll have a gummy before bed, occasionally.
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[00:27:47]  Head over to johnnyapple.com or j-acbd.com or let's triple verify that johnnyapple.com is correct.

=== Girl Fight Legend (07:56) ===

[00:27:56]  Yep, johnnyapple.com.
[00:27:58]  Use the code GAVIN at checkout and you'll get 25% off your entire order.
[00:28:02]  Infinitely cheaper than buying from the dispensary.
[00:28:04]  Support Johnny Apple.
[00:28:06]  Support the show.
[00:28:07]  Now let's get back to the show.
[00:28:09]  We've got some racism here.
[00:28:11]  We've got some My Pet Biden, but we haven't checked in on Broads in a while.
[00:28:16]  Let's do some feminism show.
[00:28:18]  Who here identifies as a feminist?
[00:28:20]  We are the storm, the very form of change that the world has been waiting for.
[00:28:29]  He said I was too pretty to fight.
[00:28:34]  That's toxic masculinity if you don't realize how your behavior is hurtful.
[00:28:43]  I feel like if I heard that Amanda Gorman thing, if like she was doing some poetry thing and I heard it and she was like, we out of the storm, I'd be like, ooh, she's doing the thing.
[00:28:51]  The one that, the change in the form.
[00:28:53]  Like I'm a fan of it now because I've heard it so much.
[00:28:55]  It's a drop in your mind.
[00:28:57]  Also the gay bumper that we have, there's a rap song.
[00:29:00]  I was watching like the Nate Diaz Jake Paul lead up to the fight and they used that some rap song.
[00:29:05]  I'm like, why do I like this?
[00:29:06]  Like I don't like rap.
[00:29:07]  And I realize it's the gang, gang, gay.
[00:29:09]  I'll be rapping gay, gay.
[00:29:11]  It's the song from the gay thing.
[00:29:13]  Gay, gay.
[00:29:13]  That's why I like it.
[00:29:14]  Gay, gay, gay, gay.
[00:29:15]  It's Stockholm Syndrome.
[00:29:18]  When I work out, and I take my purple works, I've told you this before, they blare all this music.
[00:29:27]  And there's posters all over the world, all over the room that say things like, I'm driven by the need not to be regular or something like that.
[00:29:38]  And like build and burn and like, I'm unstoppable.
[00:29:43]  And I'm like, meanwhile, I'm dry heaving because I'm hungover.
[00:29:46]  And I'm not unstoppable.
[00:29:47]  And this is, and then there's that song, this is how legends are made.
[00:29:52]  And I'm like, ow, ah.
[00:29:55]  And this is similar, this unstoppable broad who just, you cannot hold her down.
[00:30:00]  Can you even imagine trying to physically do this?
[00:30:09]  Wow.
[00:30:12]  The poles aren't shaking.
[00:30:13]  I mean, she hasn't fallen.
[00:30:16]  She's unstoppable.
[00:30:20]  Look at that.
[00:30:21]  That must be at least six inches of water.
[00:30:23]  Maybe more.
[00:30:24]  Maybe more.
[00:30:24]  Almost hitting the knee.
[00:30:25]  She's almost made it.
[00:30:30]  Wow.
[00:30:32]  What a beast.
[00:30:34]  I couldn't imagine getting a stoker.
[00:30:36]  That'd be funny if some eight-year-olds just walked by her catching crawfish.
[00:30:41]  Excuse me, man.
[00:30:51]  I told you about that other song they play that says, big energy, big, big energy.
[00:30:56]  Yeah.
[00:30:56]  It's like, you wrote a song called Big Dick Energy and just took the dick out.
[00:31:00]  It's weird how like Imagine Dragons is now inspiring music.
[00:31:04]  Yeah.
[00:31:04]  Who knew that taking, it would be gay to take the dick out?
[00:31:08]  Yep.
[00:31:11]  Here's an example of women not belonging in combat sports.
[00:31:14]  I don't think they understand the tradition.
[00:31:17]  And it's the only ones who are good are lesbians.
[00:31:19]  In other words, the ones who have more testosterone.
[00:31:24]  Oh, yeah.
[00:31:24]  So we say NSFW?
[00:31:27]  Yes.
[00:31:28]  No.
[00:31:28]  Okay.
[00:31:32]  You did it.
[00:31:33]  You get boxing.
[00:31:33]  You get the feeling that if they're going to do anything, it's the cleaver shots of Daniela.
[00:31:41]  I mean, I like it.
[00:31:42]  They're nice tits.
[00:31:44]  But that's like getting a grand slam in the MOB and just pulling your dick out and waving the crowd.
[00:31:49]  Yeah.
[00:31:51]  There's no place for that.
[00:31:52]  Here's another example of women in combat sports not getting it, not belonging there.
[00:31:57]  Not getting it.
[00:31:58]  Here's another legend being made.
[00:32:04]  I've never seen this in a boxing or a UFC or any kind of combat sport.
[00:32:09]  I've never seen this before.
[00:32:10]  You know, that's supposed to turn your back to your opponent, right?
[00:32:17]  She ran away.
[00:32:19]  You know, you were locked in here.
[00:32:21]  Wow, this hurts.
[00:32:22]  Yeah, it's called a cage match for a reason.
[00:32:27]  Holy cow.
[00:32:28]  I got to get out of here.
[00:32:30]  Where's the exit?
[00:32:32]  Wait, is that a period blood?
[00:32:35]  Not even trying to be cute.
[00:32:36]  Let's see right after this for a flash.
[00:32:39]  I hope I liked it.
[00:32:41]  What's that?
[00:32:42]  That's a.
[00:32:46]  Some sort of blood.
[00:32:46]  That's like some sort of.
[00:32:47]  Maybe it's a tattoo.
[00:32:52]  And here are the amateurs trying it.
[00:32:54]  Some girls fighting.
[00:32:56]  Blanchik thinks she's got what it takes, but she clearly doesn't know what a punch feels like.
[00:33:01]  You talk about guys who've never been punched in the face, and then they sort of go, oh, okay, I understand what ramifications are.
[00:33:07]  But with women, it's even crazier.
[00:33:12]  Hello, my name is Jennifer Wright, two-time champion for Rough and Rowdy.
[00:33:16]  I've always liked the manly, tough stuff.
[00:33:18]  A man trapped in a woman's body.
[00:33:20]  Hey, my name's Christian Jordan.
[00:33:22]  I'm 18 years old.
[00:33:23]  I've been a wrestler for four years now.
[00:33:25]  Maybe you should try to consider the ring girl contest because that's the only way you're going to take home some money.
[00:33:30]  If I can wrestle with men, I can fight a girl.
[00:33:34]  We have a girl fight coming up here, guys.
[00:33:35]  It's all about experience, folks.
[00:33:39]  And that redneck has been fighting for porridge in the back of the trailer park since he was two.
[00:33:48]  I don't think that pretty ones ever boxed.
[00:33:51]  Oh, shit.
[00:33:52]  They're really beautiful.
[00:33:56]  She's a 36-year-old walking rubber better woman.
[00:34:00]  Look at her get rocked.
[00:34:02]  Although the good news is the punches don't really hurt.
[00:34:06]  But she's putting her hand in the back of her head.
[00:34:10]  Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[00:34:12]  I think Sam Hyde did that.
[00:34:14]  She's like, if you can get away with it, do it.
[00:34:19]  Boom, boom, boom.
[00:34:22]  This one really showing.
[00:34:23]  Oh, yeah.
[00:34:24]  It is really showing.
[00:34:27]  Such a redneck fight.
[00:34:29]  Come on, bitch.
[00:34:30]  She's talking all sorts of shit.
[00:34:31]  I wish they mic'd her up, dude.
[00:34:34]  And finally, we have more.
[00:34:36]  And I've noticed, too, with fighting, oh, there's more?
[00:34:39]  Yeah.
[00:34:39]  Oh, I want to see more.
[00:34:40]  That's slow-mo.
[00:34:41]  Young Pops tries to take the crown.
[00:34:43]  You've got the pretty girls, the wrestler, the All-American, but straight from the cabin.
[00:34:47]  This is rough and rowdy with Barskill and Dave Courtnoy.
[00:34:50]  Oh, boy.
[00:34:53]  That was a wallop.
[00:34:56]  That was like a hook.
[00:34:58]  She almost punched her on her ass.
[00:34:59]  Not a knockout, but just punched her onto her ass.
[00:35:04]  I like her hair, dude.
[00:35:06]  We got blood already.
[00:35:11]  She's swinging.
[00:35:12]  A lot of guys in the blue.
[00:35:13]  Oh, I guess they're going to do a Dave Portnoy now.
[00:35:15]  Wow, by Sapphire.
[00:35:17]  Yeah, you can do Dave Portnoy.
[00:35:18]  That's attainable.
[00:35:20]  I'm going to try it more.
[00:35:21]  It's like a little gay, but not too much.
[00:35:24]  Little Brooklyn, little Jew.
[00:35:25]  Yeah.
[00:35:26]  Little Brooklyn, little Jew.
[00:35:27]  We're going to try some pizza.
[00:35:28]  That's garbage, but I'll try it.
[00:35:30]  Is that the end of that?

=== Critiquing Women's Ambitions (03:11) ===

[00:35:32]  It is.
[00:35:32]  Okay, so they're not good at...
[00:35:36]  You're magical.
[00:35:37]  You can make babies.
[00:35:38]  We're nothing without you.
[00:35:39]  You made us.
[00:35:40]  So even comparing me to you is stupid.
[00:35:44]  You're magic.
[00:35:44]  You're up here.
[00:35:45]  You're a god.
[00:35:46]  That's like saying Jesus and I are going to have a race.
[00:35:50]  But what we're criticizing here is not women.
[00:35:53]  We're criticizing women trying to be something they're not.
[00:35:56]  That's when it becomes hysterical.
[00:35:58]  And I would argue that's actually a feminist thing to do, to mock women who don't embrace being a woman.
[00:36:06]  Fighting each other is not you, okay?
[00:36:08]  And you're not even good at arguing.
[00:36:10]  And I've noticed to argue a point, you kind of have to be a nerd.
[00:36:15]  And you have to know everything about your side, but you also have to know everything about their side.
[00:36:20]  That's probably why Ann Coulter watches so much MSNBC.
[00:36:23]  You have to know what they're going to say so you can go, yes, that study was refuted in 1975.
[00:36:28]  It was a lie.
[00:36:29]  The study was falsified.
[00:36:31]  That professor was fired for inventing data.
[00:36:35]  But I find broads, they're not familiar with the arguments that totally decimate their side of things.
[00:36:42]  For example, this, if women get paid less than men, let's just hire all women.
[00:36:47]  We do that with illegals.
[00:36:49]  They get paid less than normal people.
[00:36:51]  So companies hire them whenever they can, even though it's illegal and they can lose their license.
[00:36:57]  So why don't we do it with women?
[00:36:59]  Companies can pay women less, but why don't they hire all women?
[00:37:04]  Well, that's a whole nother story.
[00:37:06]  I understand your argument, and I understand that you're angry.
[00:37:11]  I'm not angry.
[00:37:12]  I can hear it in your voice.
[00:37:13]  I can hear your voice.
[00:37:14]  I'm hearing my voice, and I sound pretty calm.
[00:37:16]  You have now shifted the quality of your voice, and I thank you for that.
[00:37:20]  And you've just given me a condescending look, and that's another reason why we need feminism.
[00:37:26]  And now I'm done.
[00:37:26]  And thank you so much.
[00:37:27]  If companies.
[00:37:31]  That's a common retort.
[00:37:34]  Remember, I told you I got in an argument with a woman who made me do her podcast, her husband's podcast, when we were at Lake George, which I never heard anything about.
[00:37:42]  I wonder if it ever aired.
[00:37:44]  And I go, women would be much happier out of the workforce.
[00:37:46]  And she goes, well, I'm a lawyer.
[00:37:47]  And I go, yeah, but you'd be better at home, I think, with your son, who you just bought an apple juice at a bar.
[00:37:52]  It's 11 p.m.
[00:37:53]  He appears to be about 10.
[00:37:54]  He should probably be in bed.
[00:37:56]  And she goes, I'm sorry if I intimidate you.
[00:37:59]  What?
[00:38:00]  Intimidate?
[00:38:02]  What are you going to do?
[00:38:03]  Beat me up?
[00:38:04]  Outlawyer me?
[00:38:06]  I don't understand the intimidation, but that's just the out thing.
[00:38:09]  It's sort of like in high school where they go, I actually, I'm not even, I don't think she's a loser.
[00:38:13]  I actually feel sorry for her.
[00:38:15]  There's certain degrees of how mean girls in high school would be bitches, and it would start off like, she's fat, she's ugly.
[00:38:23]  And then they would get more advanced.
[00:38:25]  And then they go, I actually feel really bad for her.

=== Hunter's Magic Powder Incident (12:07) ===

[00:38:28]  I think she's sweet.
[00:38:29]  It's really sad.
[00:38:31]  That's more damning.
[00:38:34]  All right, let's do my pet Bide.
[00:38:37]  Oh, okay.
[00:38:39]  You guys in front of the paywall are getting some stuff today, let me tell you.
[00:38:42]  Getting a lot of free shit.
[00:38:46]  Biden, on him I can depend.
[00:38:49]  My pet.
[00:38:50]  Biden, a monster of a president.
[00:38:53]  He's big and foo and sleepy.
[00:38:55]  But a friendly monster too.
[00:38:58]  My pet.
[00:38:59]  Biden.
[00:38:59]  Wait, What, that doesn't rhyme.
[00:39:04]  In today's New York Post, we hear about a guy who faked protests in front of a bar because they didn't let him drink when he was a teenager.
[00:39:12]  There's our fired prof. But there's just a great two-page spread refuting what I can't remember if it was you or someone else brought up.
[00:39:22]  They said, Joe was just going to say, no, no, Hunter said that I could back him up and I could guarantee deals and he could use my influence.
[00:39:32]  I didn't know he was doing that.
[00:39:34]  So he's in trouble, yes, for lying.
[00:39:36]  But I never got involved in business deals.
[00:39:39]  Yeah, you did.
[00:39:40]  You were always there.
[00:39:42]  It was not, you were not a ghost that Hunter promised we could meet one day if you do this deal.
[00:39:49]  You were there at the deals.
[00:39:50]  We have you here with various politicians and businessmen, and Hunter's always there.
[00:39:58]  You were the big guy, so that lie is not going to work.
[00:40:01]  Anyway, Gropes, friend of the show, they did a montage.
[00:40:06]  They said they went through hundreds of hours of Hunter's laptop and put together just him being a vain asshole, and they took out all the stuff you can't show on YouTube.
[00:40:15]  So we'll see if that's still up.
[00:40:17]  Is it still up?
[00:40:18]  It's not.
[00:40:18]  It's not?
[00:40:19]  No.
[00:40:20]  What about Gropes?
[00:40:21]  Is he up?
[00:40:23]  As a user?
[00:40:24]  Let's see.
[00:40:26]  I think he had some sex in it, but it was cropped such that you could only tell that there was fucking going on.
[00:40:34]  Damn it.
[00:40:35]  I'm just thinking on this instant.
[00:40:36]  I think Joe would call this revenge porn.
[00:40:39]  That's okay.
[00:40:40]  We got plenty of Joe.
[00:40:42]  Dang it.
[00:40:43]  I want to see that.
[00:40:45]  This is kind of a funny AI story that someone put together of Joe talking about Coke.
[00:40:51]  You know what's about?
[00:40:52]  When you search for even Hunter Biden gropes, just Biden groping kids and women shows up.
[00:40:58]  So it's really hard to.
[00:40:59]  Well, go to 3-0, speaking of him groping.
[00:41:02]  I have a new theory.
[00:41:04]  I think old Joe Biden, like pre-Obama, I think if he saw this Joe Biden, he would be disgusted.
[00:41:11]  What the fuck is that, man?
[00:41:12]  Come on.
[00:41:18]  That's too much.
[00:41:19]  What?
[00:41:20]  That's way too much.
[00:41:21]  Look, she's hating it.
[00:41:23]  Ew.
[00:41:24]  Oh, God.
[00:41:25]  Why would that pop into your head?
[00:41:31]  Nibble, nibble, nibble on your back to some strange Finnish kid.
[00:41:35]  She does not want anything to do with Biden.
[00:41:37]  Look at that face.
[00:41:38]  Get away from me.
[00:41:39]  Who are you?
[00:41:39]  I hate when the parents laugh.
[00:41:42]  That dad is just like, I'm going to hell.
[00:41:45]  I just betrayed my daughter.
[00:41:48]  Gross.
[00:41:48]  Like, I almost understand the mom laughing because she's vulnerable, and this is a leader of the free world.
[00:41:53]  But the dad should be showing some instincts.
[00:41:57]  You shouldn't have the president spit and breath on your shirt.
[00:42:02]  No matter what age.
[00:42:03]  Like, at the most, most, most, like my own baby.
[00:42:07]  I might be like, yeah, yeah.
[00:42:10]  Like, you could have.
[00:42:11]  You're allowed to do that for like two little months.
[00:42:14]  I'm going, whoop, whoop, whoop, whoop, boom, boom, boom, boom.
[00:42:16]  To make her laugh.
[00:42:17]  I want to bite a stranger's.
[00:42:18]  You don't know that kid.
[00:42:19]  No.
[00:42:20]  I'm biting your back.
[00:42:21]  That's sort of like when, remember when his wife was going like that?
[00:42:25]  And he was behind her and he went, and licked her finger?
[00:42:29]  He's like a weird toad.
[00:42:32]  Imagine he's a toad.
[00:42:34]  He thinks he's a toad.
[00:42:37]  Go to 2.8.
[00:42:39]  He can't say the word recession.
[00:42:42]  It's very, it's a very easy word.
[00:42:45]  How many times you read that a recession's coming?
[00:42:49]  People in Wall Street today said, no, they don't see Reshek coming now.
[00:42:54]  I got to see that again.
[00:42:56]  First he said recession, and then he said Reshesh.
[00:43:00]  Maybe if I cut off half of it, it'll be good.
[00:43:03]  How many times you read an inflate that a recession's coming?
[00:43:06]  Payment in Wall Street today said, no, they don't see Reshak coming now.
[00:43:10]  Resheshuman.
[00:43:12]  Resheshumanao.
[00:43:14]  He talks like a drunk.
[00:43:15]  Roshesh Amanao.
[00:43:17]  Here's a good montage, 2-9, of him being the most useless world leader in history.
[00:43:24]  I mean, I've heard there was some time in Rome where they had a horse who was head of the military as a gag, and I think was there little Lord Fauntleroy?
[00:43:33]  Did he have any power?
[00:43:34]  Was he 12?
[00:43:35]  But with those two ridiculous exceptions, Joe Biden is the most incompetent politician in world history, folks.
[00:43:44]  We're going back to cave days.
[00:43:46]  He's worse than Org, who was the first caveman leader of the cave world.
[00:43:54]  Quick question about Israel, because the president met with the president of Israel yesterday in the Oval Office.
[00:44:00]  This moment got a bit of attention.
[00:44:02]  Have we shown this moment?
[00:44:04]  So far not ringing about Accra and as well as Shram.
[00:44:19]  And as I affirmed to Prime Minister Ned Yah yesterday, America's commitment to Israel is firm.
[00:44:28]  John, this got a lot of attention.
[00:44:30]  It got picked up in a lot of places.
[00:44:31]  Why is it so hard to understand what the President is trying to say there?
[00:44:35]  I think he was very, very clear, Martha.
[00:44:38]  You didn't think there was any problem to communicate there.
[00:44:40]  You didn't have any.
[00:44:41]  But this is a montage that includes other ones I don't think we have shown.
[00:44:46]  Aqua and all Shran.
[00:44:49]  And as I president was very clear in that clip.
[00:44:54]  Like Vera Wang and Joan, Shengang, Shanga, Koawa.
[00:45:05]  Koawa.
[00:45:05]  Yeah, say Koawa.
[00:45:07]  Why is it so hard to do?
[00:45:08]  You think the people in his ear beast were just like, fucking, just say koala.
[00:45:11]  Just koala.
[00:45:13]  If you're working with Mr. Biden right now, can you just spell everything out phonetically from now on?
[00:45:19]  Yeah.
[00:45:20]  Shangang.
[00:45:21]  Recession.
[00:45:22]  Shangang.
[00:45:25]  Shangang.
[00:45:29]  Koawa.
[00:45:29]  Koawa.
[00:45:31]  Why is it so hard to understand what the president is trying to say there?
[00:45:35]  I think he was very, very clear, Martha.
[00:45:38]  And here comes the train that he tried to make sure to continue to run.
[00:45:44]  It's a commuter.
[00:45:45]  Remember when George W. Bush was embarrassing because he'd get a few colloquialisms wrong?
[00:45:50]  Nope.
[00:45:52]  Nothing.
[00:45:54]  Folks, look.
[00:45:55]  Hey!
[00:45:56]  Well, let it do, my wee Spanish ladies.
[00:46:01]  What are you talking about?
[00:46:02]  I'm talking about an inmate.
[00:46:04]  What?
[00:46:06]  I'm talking about a great white chief.
[00:46:09]  Oh, that's Dana.
[00:46:10]  That's Dana Carvey?
[00:46:11]  Damn.
[00:46:11]  No, it's Jamie Kennedy.
[00:46:14]  No.
[00:46:15]  I think it's Jamie Kennedy.
[00:46:17]  No, that's Dana Carvey.
[00:46:18]  Look at the light in his eyes.
[00:46:19]  That's young Dana Carvey.
[00:46:22]  What are you talking about?
[00:46:25]  Okay, keep going.
[00:46:26]  That's it.
[00:46:26]  Oh, that's it.
[00:46:28]  He needs cue cards.
[00:46:32]  Oh, we skipped this.
[00:46:33]  We skipped over this, right?
[00:46:35]  Yeah, no, I'm getting to that.
[00:46:36]  But go to 2-7.
[00:46:38]  He sits there with just having a meeting, dude.
[00:46:41]  It's general.
[00:46:42]  You don't have to get specific.
[00:46:44]  And he's got fucking cue cards.
[00:46:45]  This is the same one.
[00:46:48]  But look at his hands.
[00:46:49]  Look at her.
[00:46:52]  Well, Mr. President, welcome back.
[00:46:54]  Welcome back to Washington.
[00:46:55]  Welcome back to the White House.
[00:46:56]  Mr. President, welcome back.
[00:47:00]  I was talking to Netanyahu.
[00:47:02]  That's not a real name, is it?
[00:47:03]  Never again, they haven't got a lot to talk about.
[00:47:06]  Why is the Martin Luther King statue all smooth and pristine and the JFK one is like all it looks like Jeff Goldland turning into the fly?
[00:47:15]  Yeah, doesn't that look like a shithole too?
[00:47:18]  Like if that was your Airbnb, you'd go, oh, fuck.
[00:47:21]  Kind of looks like an Italian Long Island home.
[00:47:23]  It looks like a 90-year-old woman's home.
[00:47:26]  And it has a weird smell.
[00:47:28]  Oh, yeah.
[00:47:29]  I heard Trump say that.
[00:47:30]  He goes, this place is a dump.
[00:47:33]  I don't think I've ever been inside.
[00:47:34]  No, I haven't been inside.
[00:47:35]  But I heard like when you feel the walls, everything feels like you could just go.
[00:47:41]  All right, let's lighten the load here with a story about Hunter bringing some magic powder into the White House.
[00:47:49]  And then we're going to go behind the paywall and get caught up on some racism.
[00:47:56]  Let me tell you about the smartest person in my life.
[00:47:59]  As you probably guessed, I'm going to have to get my son Hunter, the magician.
[00:48:05]  Sometimes he wanders into the Oval Office late at night and waves his magic wand around in the air a few times.
[00:48:11]  Then he does a little spin and abra cadabra.
[00:48:14]  All of this wonderful magic powder appears on my desk.
[00:48:17]  I then said out loud, holy smokes, all of that powder belongs up my nose, doesn't it?
[00:48:22]  Hunter then looked at me with a twinkle in his eye and smiled.
[00:48:26]  He said, it sure does, Papa.
[00:48:28]  It sure does.
[00:48:28]  So to make my son proud, I gave the magic powder a good sniff.
[00:48:32]  Then I gave it two or three more sniffs and a fourth.
[00:48:35]  Before I knew it, the Oval Office was transformed into this beautiful, dreamlike fantasy land.
[00:48:40]  This is so stupid.
[00:48:42]  A, you don't have to make up shit.
[00:48:45]  Hunter Biden does do crack.
[00:48:47]  He did leave a bag of Coke at the White House.
[00:48:50]  I don't believe that Joe Biden does cocaine.
[00:48:52]  I don't think his heart could handle it.
[00:48:54]  Secondly, when you do cocaine, you don't start seeing beautiful shapes and colors and stuff.
[00:49:00]  You're thinking of MDMA or LSD.
[00:49:04]  So you've clearly never done drugs.
[00:49:07]  Stop showing that.
[00:49:08]  It's annoying.
[00:49:09]  What a nerd.
[00:49:11]  You're a nerd, sir.
[00:49:14]  All right, so we're just going to chop the show here.
[00:49:19]  We've got a bunch of examples of how white people are the only people who are called racist, and black people can't be racist.
[00:49:28]  We'll be explaining why after the break.
[00:49:30]  But that's for the people who pay.
[00:49:33]  And again, censored.tv is $10 a month.
[00:49:35]  It is growing exponentially.
[00:49:37]  Way more shows.
[00:49:38]  I think we're going to raise the price soon because we've got like 50 times the content that we had.
[00:49:43]  We have Andrew Tate on the show regularly.
[00:49:47]  He's drinking a bottle of water.
[00:49:48]  Bottle of water.
[00:49:50]  Yeah.
[00:49:51]  So yeah, it's a beer and a half a month for unlimited entertainment.
[00:49:55]  And I can't tell you how many people tell me that it makes them feel sane.
[00:50:00]  They get suicidal with the way shit is going.
[00:50:03]  And then when we get on the show and we laugh at everything, they go, oh, okay.
[00:50:06]  So you've noticed that too.
[00:50:07]  Oh, good, good.
[00:50:08]  All right.
[00:50:08]  And it's funny.
[00:50:09]  We don't nerd out on all the details.
[00:50:11]  Like, it gets really tiring.
[00:50:13]  Like, I don't consume any politics outside of the show, as you can tell.
[00:50:16]  Because this is how you have it with fun.
[00:50:18]  This is the spoonful of sugar.
[00:50:20]  If you want to see us in person, we're in Baltimore.
[00:50:21]  Oh, yeah, August 18th, Baltimore.
[00:50:23]  So if you're in D.C., that's the closest you're going to get is Baltimore.
[00:50:27]  We're not going to be doing a show nearby anytime soon.
[00:50:31]  Nashville, Dallas, Vegas.
[00:50:34]  All right.