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May 12, 2023 - Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes

01:34:49

S4E252 - A LITTLE TASTE OF EVERYTHING

In this smorgasbord of an episode we dip our toes into, glongs, Linda, president Tucker, Gazi Kodzo, the evolution of rebellion, kangz, homosexual megalomania, right-wing schools, Biden's brain, and a whole bunch of laughing babies. GUEST: JOHN KINSMAN

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	- - Live from New York, it's Get Off My Lawn with Gavin McInnis. it's Get Off My Lawn with Gavin McInnis.
	I knew it was on.
	Yeah, you be looking so damn good.
	So I wrote you this song.
	Some people, they just don't understand.
	They look and they stare.
	This song is about a Glong.
	This song is about a glom.
	What you got there?
	It's a glom.
	Yeah, the glom.
	It's the glom.
	It's a glock that's also a bong.
	No way.
	It's the glom.
	Yeah, the glom.
	The glom.
	It's my glock and it's also my bong.
	Shred it.
	The glom.
	Great, Jim.
	Just play out the whole thing.
	It is fantastic.
	A Glock that's also a bong from the 3D printing firearms dudes.
	Because when you smoke pot, especially modern pot, when I was young, weed was like 8% THC.
	Now it's like 28 to 40.
	You get paranoid.
	You need to be armed when you get high these days.
	Will you kill innocent people by accident?
	Yes.
	But you will live.
	You'll survive.
	What the hell are you talking about?
	So this is the free show and we're gonna sort of...
	cover all the subjects we usually cover, so it's gonna be a super duper long one, and it's gonna be free, you can send it to your friends, and then I'm cutting off you Moochers.
	From now on, the Friday Free Show is only gonna, I'm only gonna give you half an hour.
	So indulge.
	You know what you should treat this show like? - I'm outta here, bye. - When you sorta, you know, your family isn't around, and you're alone in the house, and you eat once a day, and you have one of those Chipotle burritos that makes your stomach hurt, that's what you should do with this.
	Make your stomach hurt because you're not getting any more free shit after this.
	But the reason we can give you free stuff is because of our wonderful sponsors.
	What happened to the Purple Works?
	I know.
	Purpleworks Nutrition is the pre-workout.
	Ryan, you may have to go get it from the other room there.
	Can do.
	That's our first sponsor.
	Get up the background first and then... Bye-bye!
	Home to mommy.
	Purpleworks Nutrition is the pre-workout I use, and I tell you, man, you take it and you start feeling these little prickles in your hands and stuff, and you go, I gotta get to the gym fast.
	It almost makes it going to the gym like having to go pee, because the only way that the prickles go away is when you start working out.
	And you know when you're doing like 15 reps, and the guy's counting seven, and you go, I don't have another six of these in me.
	What's seven plus six again?
	14, 13?
	Okay, sorry, eight.
	And then Purpleworks Nutrition creeps in and gives you this second wind.
	It's gone?
	It's under the flag.
	Oh.
	Now again, I don't do a whole scoop.
	There's a ton of caffeine in this, so if you do two scoops, you're gonna shit your guts out.
	Try to keep it to, I like to do a tablespoon, and I don't have it as my workout drink, because then I'm gonna have the tingles after I leave.
	I do it half an hour before.
	Anyway, let's see what our ad guy has to say about it.
	Formulated by a paramedic with 10 years of experience on the ground, it's great for men and women.
	You don't need to cycle on and off this pre-workout unlike many other alternatives.
	And I am seeing a difference in muscle growth, by the way.
	I sound like Alex Jones.
	give you absurd amounts of vitamins like 10,000% of your daily value.
	Those amounts can't be absorbed and shock the system.
	Purple Works is formulated to give you the right amount of vitamins that your body can actually absorb.
	This helps with immunity health, muscle health, and tissue repair.
	The tissue repair qualities make it great for boxing recovery.
	I'll eat your ass.
	Do you have boxing recovery issues?
	I have workout recovery pains.
	I will eat your ass.
	My hamstrings hurt as I mentioned before.
	What are hamstrings again?
	Thighs?
	The opposite of the quads.
	Like the back part of the leg?
	The back of your thighs hurt from boxing?
	No.
	You sure you're not thinking of anal sex?
	From dead lifting and getting kicked in the ass.
	Oh yeah.
	This product isn't just for working out, pumping iron, and such.
	It's also great if you're playing sports like football, soccer, skateboarding, mountain biking, and shooty hoops.
	It's not overly sweet, which allows for smoother drinking and reduced risk of upsetting your stomach.
	It also doesn't leave behind nasty smells in the shaker or whatever container you use.
	Purpleworks uses only the highest quality ingredients.
	They synthesize the universe's elements, bringing vitamins, caffeine, and carnosynth beta-alanine into one extraordinary workout experience.
	In a single scoop, you'll find 200 milligrams of high-quality caffeine, Three grams of creatine, 1.5 grams of carnosine beta alanine.
	That's the stuff that makes your hands prickle, right?
	Yes.
	The pre-workout is proudly manufactured in the USA at an FDA registered facility that is also GMP certified.
	This is a great deal.
	They recommend one scoop, but you can easily cut that in half as I do.
	A single container could last a few months.
	Keep an eye out for new products from Purpleworks Nutrition in the coming weeks.
	They are also now shipping to Canada.
	Make sure to get one of There are shakers as well.
	Enter promo code Gavin at purpleworksnutrition.com for 15% off.
	That was a long ad read, man.
	It was.
	But look, even if you have rings, which I do, and I was wondering, can you still mix it?
	Yes, you can.
	So that's good.
	That's a really good joke, Ryan.
	Thanks.
	Speaking of great jokes, I was thinking like, what would be my ideal life if I could have anything in the world?
	If I was king of the world, and I realized it would be Tucker's spot on Fox News, But my co-host is Linda.
	I worked my ass off to get her here last night.
	I don't think she likes doing this show.
	I think she thinks we're making fun of her.
	I get that argument, but I'm not really making fun of her.
	I just like her around.
	And I would love to sit and talk about taxes and inflation and then have her go, do you like restaurants?
	There's lots of restaurants.
	So I knew she wouldn't ever come back to the studio.
	It's my favorite episode when we had her here.
	And this is her talking about my hair.
	She likes my hairdo and she's going through a pile of like this thick of business cards to try to find a barber's number.
	Would you have this hairdo if you were a guy?
	I like it.
	It looks good.
	It's style right now.
	It's kinda greaser-y, like 50s.
	Your hair?
	Yeah.
	Actually, this one isn't as good.
	Go to the other one.
	The other one, her story is after she's told me about a band called the Rolling Stones.
	I don't know if you're familiar with them.
	I've heard of them.
	A British rock band, I think.
	They have lots of songs and then she started acting out, I think, Start Me Up.
	But this is a story where she came across a gentleman who had had five beers and that cost him, I believe, $20.
	I said a guy is on his fifth beer.
	Early in the work week, one night.
	What time of day?
	Like about six o'clock, seven o'clock at night.
	I love her eyebrows.
	He's on his fifth beer.
	Five beers?
	Yes, he spent $20 on beer that night.
	And then I told him to go somewhere else and he said, all right, I'll act on your advice.
	and then i went back like an hour later or something uh because you know it was a lot of bar restaurants in the area and he was gone she loves bars and restaurants that's a thing he was standing right out in front of the uh uh i'm recording this because i bet if i tell people they won't believe me and now i have proof yes he was standing outside of the storefronts on his fifth beer spending twenty dollars and he's really thin you know it's He's like, liquid diet.
	Right, right.
	I'm on a liquid diet, I'm only drinking beer tonight, you know?
	Yeah.
	And what are you drinking over there?
	What's going on in that brain of hers?
	He must have really got, like, uh, drawn fat, and I... I can imagine.
	Don't you like to have a drinking partner, you know?
	Some guy you can, like, relate to?
	Alright, I got one.
	I have the door up to the back because the A.C.
	broke and it's brutal in here.
	You know, frankly, I think she's a wonderful woman.
	Oh my God, Mr. Trump.
	Hello.
	She's a fantastic woman.
	I'm not attracted to her.
	But people said maybe maybe you and her went to the bathroom and you locked the door and you assaulted her.
	And that's not true.
	She's not even your type, is she?
	She's not even.
	And no offense, but you're not my type either.
	I hope you're not offended by that.
	Well, I'm a fat lesbian, so I don't care.
	Understandable.
	Speaking of Tucker.
	I figured it all out.
	I did the math.
	Now, I know him, but he keeps his cards very close to his chest because he's aware that I'm a fucking blabbermouth, and I can't be trusted.
	I agree with that.
	It's a Scottish thing.
	You know, if you're walking around Glasgow and they go, how you doing, you don't eat?
	And he'll go, oh, I nosy as ever.
	That means I'm healthy.
	I'm nosy as ever.
	So, I told him, dude, streaming service, you would be so rich.
	7% of the people who watch you for free will pay to see you.
	He gets 4 million viewers, right?
	7% of that is 280,000.
	They're paying $10 a month.
	- The percent of that is 280,000.
	They're paying $10 a month, that's 28 million a year, is it?
	Or is it 280 million a year?
	No, it's 28 million a year.
	You do ad reads.
	That's another 25 whatever.
	About 50 million dollars a year gross.
	He already has two studios.
	But he chooses Twitter.
	700 billion and a trillion three hundred million billion dollars.
	Uh-oh.
	Cleanup crew.
	Do you hear that?
	I do.
	Yeah.
	Yes.
	Should I torture you people with vacuums just so I'm not hot?
	Hot?
	No.
	All right, fine, you win.
	Goodbye, blessed cold air.
	So what is he doing?
	He's doing Twitter.
	So you're saying no to 50 million, when you'd be talking to 20, 280,000 people, and you're saying yes to, I bet Elon offered him two, three, and you can talk to hundreds of millions.
	Why would you do that?
	Why would you forgo the cash?
	Even if you're rich, which he is, you want your grandchildren to have money.
	You would be remiss not to make $50 million a year if the free market says that.
	Because the money's just sitting there.
	Pick it up, put it in the bank, give it to your great-grandchildren, for fuck's sake.
	And then it hit me.
	He's gonna run for office.
	So in that case, you don't care about money, but you do want to talk to lots of people.
	So he's gonna run for governor.
	Now, he says he didn't sign a deal with him.
	You don't need a deal.
	If Tucker doesn't like the show, he'll stop doing it.
	And Elon Musk, if he wrote a contract, he'd probably say, don't deny the Holocaust.
	Don't say the N-word in earnest.
	Tucker doesn't do that.
	So you don't need a contract with him.
	We actually have footage of their negotiation here, 1-7.
	It was exactly what you'd expect it to be.
	Hmm.
	Oh.
	Yeah.
	You just looped that all day.
	So he's going to run for governor of Florida after DeSantis, and then El Presidente.
	They're having a great time.
	He's super religious, and it's a great deal for Elon because Elon has bandwidth that is unimaginable.
	So imagine like a seven-lane highway with three cars on it.
	You might as well get a fucking 18-wheeler on there.
	What do you think of my theory, Ryan?
	It's a good theory.
	Frankly, it's a good theory.
	You'd make a great president, too.
	We've looked at it.
	You know what would be great about his campaign?
	The guy is, he married his high school or his college sweetheart.
	The guy is squeaky clean.
	Also in the news, I've been meaning to get to this for a while, the reason Proud Boys say Uhuru is because a nut bar gay black dude named Gazzy Codso made a video where he got a bunch of white people talking about how they need to pay reparations.
	And he starts it by going, Uhuru!
	And we thought it was hilarious.
	These white people going, yo, with black voices too going, yo, white people, we coming for you.
	Okay, why don't you just take it out of your own pocket, dude?
	You're white.
	Anyway, Ghazi went on to start the Black Hammer Party.
	He said he's uniting with Proud Boys.
	He said he raised money to buy land in Arizona to start a compound.
	He lived there and didn't buy the land.
	And then he gets arrested for, I don't know, anal rape or something?
	So you go, okay, things can't get crazier.
	Now we find out he was working for the KGB.
	I am not joking.
	Augustus C. Romaine Jr., that's his name, is charged with conspiracy to defraud the United States and is accused of accepting money and other assistance from Alexander Vykovich, a Russian national with connections to the FSB, Russia's intelligence service, that's the new KGB, according to an indictment unsealed Tuesday in U.S.
	District Court in Tampa.
	Romaine, the flamboyant leader of the Black Hammer Party, goes by the name Gazzy Codso, uses gender-neutral pronouns, was already in jail in Fayette County on charges of kidnapping, aggravated sodomy, oof, that's my least favorite type of sodomy.
	That's my least favorite type of aggravation.
	Racketeering and human trafficking related to a police raid on the group's Fayetteville headquarters last July.
	Federal authorities allege that Lonov orchestrated the protests, so he sent Gazi 6,500 to have a pro-Russia protest.
	Like anyone's listening to this fucking clown.
	What does the video do?
	I actually think that's just it's a screen grab.
	Oh, yeah, that makes sense.
	And this, this is kind of crazy, but isn't it kind of unusual that when I had, when I did his show, remember that time?
	Yes.
	And I projectile vomited.
	I do remember that as well.
	I wasn't sick.
	Is that biblical?
	Is that like I was introduced to a demon and it made me projectile vomit?
	It is weird that he was cozying up to you, too, after so many years of hostility.
	I think God was sending me a warning.
	I think my- I have a guardian angel.
	Isn't it strange that last year when I bet $100 on every Mets game, I ended up, uh, $800 high?
	And this year, now that I'm not doing it, the Mets are completely tanking?
	Interesting.
	I'm looking for the clip of you puking there.
	It's like these- these- I have these powers.
	I gotta use them for good.
	Uh, massive caravan coming to the USA, hundreds of thousands of people.
	I just did Alex Jones' show and we talked about it.
	So, uh, I don't need to get into it, but the big picture is the footage you're seeing of Mexicans is not what's happening.
	That's some of them.
	They are Africans, Haitians.
	They are like Sikhs, guys with turbans on.
	Come on in. - Yeah!
	Wouldn't it suck if you moved to Texas to get away from all these nut bars in Manhattan and then all of a sudden you have a human tidal wave in your backyard?
	I was reminded of the Ari Shafir bit where he picked up a bunch of illegals and he drove them to the ICE headquarters.
	Do you remember that one?
	Yes.
	The Amazing Racist, was it?
	Yeah, I think that was his show.
	2-1.
	I'm not doing that.
	We're gonna go over a speed bump.
	Watch him.
	See, this is back when you could be funny.
	Sorry about that.
	This would never air today.
	Oh, there's another one.
	I'm sorry.
	Sorry.
	The great thing about Beaners is they are always willing to work.
	Always.
	That's what they're good at.
	They're good at working and having babies.
	They think they're coming over to my house to fix my deck.
	What they don't know is that we're not going to my house.
	We're going somewhere else.
	I'm not going to ruin the surprise, but we'll be there in a minute.
	What the hell are he's doing now financially?
	I mean, he's been in the game for decades, right?
	Yeah, he's traveling a lot.
	Louis C.K.
	is selling out Madison Square Gardens and he was cancelled.
	He seems like he's in a good place health-wise and mentally.
	Well, he's mean.
	That's the thing about Ari.
	And they say the bad weeds die last.
	So he's got that edge to him.
	Sorry.
	You guys OK?
	OK, yeah.
	I don't know what the fuck you just said.
	Macarilla!
	Something like that.
	I don't know.
	We're almost there.
	Get ready for this.
	See, that's a funny prank.
	- Hey, hey, hey, hey!
	Hey, hey! - - All right.
	I wanted to do a little thing on rebellion.
	I maybe should have made a card for this, but it's too hot today.
	We were watching Jeopardy!
	the other night and this chick, she's sort of trans, whatever the hell she is, has a tattoo of, it looks like a gay dude blowing a dude.
	This is on Jeopardy!
	and all of America can see it.
	Now, as an old dad, I was offended, but then I remembered, like, the Sex Pistols did the exact same thing, and I thought it was cool back then.
	Have I changed?
	Or has Rebellion changed?
	Let's take a little trip down Rebellion Alley.
	So that's the tattoo.
	I don't know if the cowboy's literally blowing the guy, but that's definitely what they're going for.
	It looks like maybe they got caught getting blown.
	Hey, what are you guys doing?
	His head's too far away from the man's crotch.
	Oh, shit.
	Yeah, I was just examining his zipper.
	But this is who did the tattoo 2-4 You can't you can't be offended by that and and then think the Sex Pistols were cool, or can you?
	So all his tattoos are weird He's trans.
	It's trans tattoos transient tattoos Lots of like chicks with dicks kind of stuff.
	I kind of like them actually I like the red, the hit of red is cool.
	It's a cool concept.
	I like when a tattooist has one thing he does and that's it.
	What the hell's going on with her nipples, dude?
	What?
	Yeah, her nipples are like, they look like they're black shapes.
	Maybe that was covered up for the photo.
	Don't let those be tattoos.
	Oh no, no, no.
	Those are pasties.
	I thought you were making a joke and I was like, yeah, it's weird that they're black and shaped like flowers.
	I don't like the Jeopardy tattoo being shown to kids, but then when this was, when Sid Vicious wore this shirt, I thought it was cool.
	You have to go down a little bit for it.
	Yikes.
	I should have said NSFW.
	Go down farther.
	Maybe there's, yeah, that's Sid wearing it.
	By the way, while I was researching this, I thought, why don't you have a boner?
	Oh, those two dudes, yeah.
	Yeah, what are you, not gay?
	That's how you're gay.
	Get a boner.
	If I was naked and there was a hot blonde with no pants on adjusting my tie, I'd have a boner.
	Maybe that's the whole point.
	It's like, you can touch dicks and not be gay.
	A woman doesn't see your flaccid penis until she's been with you, like, seven times.
	The first seven times you're naked around a girl, you instantly have a bone.
	Right?
	I'd agree.
	I guess maybe they're a long-term couple of gays.
	Yeah, they're so gay that this is just a part of their relationship where they're fixing each other's ties.
	Yeah, they'd already fucked like 30 times that day.
	I mean, that's not completely limp.
	Oh, I keep forgetting how small your dick is, so that probably looks like a boner to you.
	That's the actual size of mine.
	I don't understand what's different about that.
	And then I was also thinking about, isn't it funny how seditious, sedition is the worst thing in the world.
	You know, these guys are facing life.
	If you're 35 and you're getting 57 years, that's life.
	We'll talk to John Kitson about that in a second.
	But that clothing line that the Sex Pistols wore was called sedition.
	So sedition was cool in the late 70s.
	That was rebellious.
	Now liberals hear the word sedition and it's like they're talking about pedophilia, which they're also cool with, by the way.
	Pedophilia is fine.
	But real sedition is evil.
	In the late 70s, sedition was cool.
	I think they're both pretty cool, to be honest.
	And what's 2-7?
	Yeah.
	So that was sedition back in the 70s.
	Today, sedition is 2-7.
	It's not cool.
	- It's what?
	- Nothing, a rude word.
	- Next question.
	- No, no, what was the rude word?
	- Shit.
	- Was it really?
	- Heavens, you cried literally. - So are you mad at the tattoo on Jeopardy, but you think that was funny?
	- Girls behind.
	- Right.
	- You're bad, isn't it?
	- You know what's funny too about this?
	That group up there were called the Bromley contingent.
	They came from the suburb of Bromley, which is like Westchester.
	It's about half an hour outside of London.
	Suzy Sue, Sid Vicious, Billy Idol, they were all Bromley.
	So that was rebellion back then from Bromley.
	You know what Bromley rebellion is now?
	Richard Reed, the shoe bomber, he was from Bromley.
	That's how rebellion has evolved over the years.
	So here's the answer to this conundrum.
	Rebellion back then was a fuck you to the establishment, to fuddy duddies and old timers.
	Rebellion today involves introducing kids to sex and having dudes fillet each other on your arm on a family show.
	That's not healthy rebellion.
	Also, healthy Bromley rebellion back in the late 70s was having funny eye makeup.
	Bromley rebellion today is murdering an entire plane full of people because they are infidels and That is my hot take on Hey, you know what?
	I found the woman who caught him.
	I didn't realize this but I was researching it this this Bromley rebel It was some chick who jumped him because he wouldn't answer her and he was messing with his shoes.
	Did I timestamp it?
	No, go to 3-1, penis face.
	I was born a rebel.
	I guess it's not really today rebellion, right?
	Either stand up or sit down.
	shoe bombs would be foiled.
	That attempt happened 21 years ago today, and it changed the way we travel.
	I guess it's not really today, Rebellion, right?
	It wasn't by the FBI or CIA, but instead by a South Florida flight attendant who blocked disaster in the nick of time and now retired.
	Either stand up or sit down.
	What is this?
	Yeah.
	He's got half his ass on the seat.
	He's satanding up down.
	Go to her.
	She said Richard Reed the shoe bomber was too much indecence.
	Janine's.
	She said Richard Reed the shoe bomber was too much indecent.
	I don't like the shoe bombs.
	I don't like blowing up in a plane.
	I don't like hurtling through the sky alone at 500 miles an hour, only to faint right before I hit a mountain.
	It's too much explosions.
	It's too much flying with no plane for me.
	I only like flying inside of a thing.
	Instinct tells her to go back.
	And I said, excuse me, sir, what are you doing?
	What are you doing?
	He ignored me.
	I asked him almost three, four times, and he ignored me.
	What I did is I just grabbed him and pulled him, and that's when I saw the shoe in between his legs, the match in his hand lit.
	Anyway, I like Rebellion better in the 70s.
	Don't you?
	No terrorists, no sexy kids.
	Just fucking cute outfits.
	Okay, well I promised you a lot of variety.
	I want to get to this Proud Boy.
	I want to talk to Jon Kinsman about the January 6th hullabaloo.
	But before we do, I want to talk about Sonoran Defense.
	Am I pronouncing that right?
	Uh, yes.
	Sonoran.
	Yep.
	Did you take pictures of any of the products like I asked you to?
	Uh, I took pictures of the coasters.
	Okay, but he asked you to take pictures of the Zippos.
	I didn't see that.
	What I can do is provide you a zoom.
	And then let's get the Zippos out.
	Remember last week you said, I showed the Zippos and then you said, there's also Zippos.
	Yes.
	I was doing other things and I just spaced out.
	This is a censored dot TV Zippo.
	I want to take these home, but I have to show them to you on Fridays.
	I guess I could lug them back and forth.
	Sonoran Defense.
	Let's just look up the pronunciation, because I think a lot of people are telling me I'm pronouncing it wrong, and they're wrong.
	There's a lot of self-doubt.
	Ooh, that's fancy.
	So this is the Zippo.
	Look at that on the back.
	And then this is the flask.
	And then this is the latest addition.
	Thrilled with this.
	Sonoran.
	Look at this.
	Sonoran.
	Sonoran.
	Go back to resume.
	This is my GAVSTAV logo on a mirror coaster.
	With the yellow accent.
	On a mirror coaster?
	That's not just a mirror coaster, it's a very fancy coaster.
	And here is the, what is that, bluestone?
	The slate?
	So, I hope you're enjoying looking at these because I'm not bringing them back to the studio.
	Sorry, Sonoran.
	They're really nice.
	I like putting a drink on it, too.
	Feels cool.
	Yeah, it does.
	I like it.
	It's heavy.
	This is really cool.
	The glass ones are not for sale, or are they?
	I hate these fucking cardboard things they have at the bar where you pick it up and it goes with you and then it falls down and you gotta go get it.
	It sucks.
	This is not sticking to your beer.
	No.
	This isn't sticking to your Bud Light, Dylan Mulvaney.
	And especially, ooh, I'd never tried it with a glass bottle, but it would go... Poor Dylan, he's like, I don't even like Bud Light!
	Sonoran Defense is a great baby monster owned company out of Arizona.
	We're showing you some fine examples of what this company can make customized just for you.
	Zippo lighters, Slater glass coasters, flasks, ammo boxes, dog tags, anything metal or polymer can be personalized with your own custom laser etching.
	It works on a huge variety of materials.
	If you can think of it, Sonoran Designs can probably custom laser etch it.
	It's great if you have a man cave when you get something customized like this for a family or friend's birthday, you can bet your ass it will be the coolest and most thoughtful gift they receive.
	And that goes for holidays, weddings, graduations.
	These make great gifts for any occasion.
	They made the Gavtavs coasters I just showed you, and the turnaround was incredibly fast.
	It was maybe a week at the most and they arrived.
	Yes, this is true.
	You should have the website.
	At the bottom, bro.
	Of course I should, yes.
	Go to their website, SonoranDefense.com.
	We do the show out of New York City, so they couldn't send us a whole other line of products they specialize in.
	That would be laser stippling for glocks.
	I assume, uh, also glongs.
	Yeah, they probably have a glong.
	Your glock bong.
	And you're not gonna drop that glong.
	That would be laser stripping for Glocks, Glongs, and custom magazines for various firearms.
	They also do sell guns and knives.
	They're a one-stop shop for a variety of defense needs.
	Laser Stippling creates a sandpaper-like grip on your Glock, which makes it much more comfortable, easier to use, and potentially more accurate.
	Their custom laser engraved magazines are also pretty damn cool.
	You can check them out on Instagram, at Sonoran Defense, or check out their website.
	Get Ryan to show their magazine link under the products.
	They have a...
	They have a great magazine that has a picture of Alec Baldwin and it says possibly blanks.
	Funny stuff.
	See if you can dig that up there, Ryguy.
	Bam.
	That's great.
	It hath been gotten.
	Holy shit.
	That's a good t-shirt.
	Possibly blanks.
	No, then it's a sexual thing.
	And they now have several new Get Off My Lawn-themed magazines.
	They have The Joker Face, The Bird Witches, The Bald Eagle.
	They have a design of me and Ryan, they call it No Papa.
	Pretty cool collector's items, even if you aren't necessarily a gun person.
	They get great reviews on all of their products, and they have really great prices for all of their goods and services.
	Go to SonoranDefense.com and enter promo code JOKERFACE, two words, oh no, one word, two words here, I'm sure both work, for 10% off everything except guns.
	All righty, let's get serious.
	We've been a little silly for the beginning of the show and let's talk to old Johnny Bones.
	Do the Proud Boys intro first though, Ryan.
	Okay, that I can totes do.
	I talked to Alex Jones all morning and then I talked to the BBC for like two hours and we fought.
	She implied that Trump got people to ride on January 6th.
	I said, we need a divorce.
	I don't mean you and me.
	I mean left and right.
	She laughed at the notion that women don't make less than men.
	That one boggles the mind.
	And she said that, um, are Proud Boys over now because of the arrests?
	I get that one a lot.
	Uh, no.
	Stand back.
	Stand by.
	Proud Boys.
	Somebody's got to do something about Antifa and the left.
	Antifa's an idea, not an organization.
	Oh, you got it.
	John, are you there, sir?
	Yes, I'm right here, Gavin.
	How are you?
	Good, good.
	For those of you not familiar with Mr. Kinsman, this is the guy who did four years for fighting Antifa.
	I think a big impetus for this brutal sentence was that he's a white nationalist, and so his black kids didn't have a dad for four years.
	It's really preposterous, Gavin, because, you know, all these people that were calling me a white supremacist and racist None of them have ever spoken to me a day in my life.
	Never once.
	Yeah, I was just saying that in an interview.
	I hate the whole, oh, he can't be racist, he has black kids.
	Like, we don't need to get to the kids.
	The kids are none of your business.
	Show me how he's racist.
	I hate how to hold up people to prove.
	I mean, I'm doing it right now with this dude.
	It's an annoying thing about American culture where you just can't, you know, explain things.
	Yeah, I mean, look, the race really should not matter.
	Even if I had a wife, kids, wife, white wife and white kids, it shouldn't matter.
	And really, the fact of the matter is, is if I was so racist, then the fact that I have so many black neighbors and black friends and Black co-workers.
	There's such a myriad of people of color in my life.
	My life would be miserable!
	Yeah, let's stop talking about it.
	I'm sick of talking about it for the rest of my life.
	So these sentences, you know, everyone says that they're looking for the January 6th guys.
	Ethan, Joe Biggs, Dominic, Zach.
	Everyone says they're facing like 20, but I think the charges are concurrent.
	I think they're facing more like 50.
	Well, here's the thing about it.
	In my experience with prison, I'll tell you that conspiracy is the devil written in law form.
	They give you so much time with barely any kind of evidence.
	It's really like a horrible, horrible charge.
	Well, everyone says seditious conspiracy is a really high bar, so they must be guilty.
	And it's like, no, that just shows you how bad the justice system is.
	Well, it's not really a high bar.
	Like, take a look at what they got on Enrique.
	What do you do?
	Send like a couple text messages and meet with a shady person in a parking lot and they don't even know what they said.
	And that's what I read about in AP News.
	Yeah.
	God knows what really happened.
	There was zero evidence.
	Did you hear this thing about the jury thought the redacted quotes were proof that the Proud Boys were hiding plans and it was actually the government that was redacting them?
	You know, this is just another example of the ridiculousness of the whole situation, Gavin.
	It's really like a biased jury.
	It really is a biased jury.
	You know, and these prosecutors, there was a couple things I thought that they should really change with the legal process and I thought would improve things drastically.
	One of the items was that I think that all lawyers prosecuting attorneys and defending attorneys should have to be under oath themselves.
	Ooh, that's a good one.
	You know, we're at risk of perjury.
	I think prosecuting attorneys should be at risk of perjury, too, because it's one thing to sit there, like at my trial, say, John Kinsman's a jerk, he's an asshole, this and that, blah, blah, blah.
	You're just insulting me.
	That's something.
	But don't turn around and start lying about what the law says.
	Yeah, yeah, yeah.
	And if they have a problem with that, then they must be doing something wrong.
	Why would you have a problem of speaking under oath?
	Exactly.
	That's why I really do think if I was going to change, I would change a few things with the legal justice system.
	But one of the things that I think will make some drastic changes is if the lawyers themselves are under oath.
	And people will say that they're at risk of having their license revoked.
	But you can't have the judge I think the justice system in America is done.
	I think it's over.
	The juries just read what the media tells them.
	The media is lying all the time.
	and they're all supposedly reading the same law, but yet the message is completely different.
	I don't see how that could be. - I think the justice system in America is done.
	I think it's over.
	The juries just read what the media tells them.
	The media is lying all the time.
	You get Trump having to pay $5 million to a woman who the courts say wasn't raped or molested Something similar happened when I was in Illinois.
	Change the law so they can prosecute them.
	And then you have you guys getting four years for a fight and who knew that would be the least egregious one? - And you know what, Gavin?
	Something similar happened when I was in Illinois.
	I think it was in about 2008 or something.
	I was walking away from a bar.
	We were walking by a Taco Bell, and I saw a fight outside the Taco Bell.
	And I just got done drinking.
	I saw it was like four dudes beating up on one guy.
	I ran in, started punching people, all right, to defend the guy who was getting just stomped.
	And then I saw someone was calling the police were coming.
	I ran away.
	The police told me to stop.
	I stopped.
	They came and interrogated me, asked me what happened.
	I told them the truth.
	I saw one guy getting jumped by like four dudes.
	And so I involved myself in the fight.
	They brought me back to the scene, asked each of the guys, do you know this person?
	Each one of them said no.
	The guy who was getting beat up ran over and he gave me a big hug.
	Oh, you saved my life.
	His face looked like bloody scrambled eggs and he put like blood smears all over the shoulder of my nice new shirt.
	The police said after that, all right, goodbye.
	Have a nice day.
	And what year was that?
	Oh, I think that had to have been around 2008, I'm saying approximately.
	That's exactly what you went to prison for.
	Exactly.
	I mean, a couple of the details were different, but in fact... And that fight, if you watch the fight, Antifa were winning at the beginning.
	Yeah, I mean, and not only that, but these weren't strangers.
	These were people I knew.
	I know Max, I know Jeff.
	Right, yeah, good point.
	They crossed the police barriers to come after us.
	Right, right.
	So, you know, just to say that my actions were not justified to me is really preposterous, and it pretty much solidifies the deal.
	That New York has no self-defense laws.
	New York, Chicago, D.C.
	I mean, these guys can appeal, but they're appealing to be back in D.C.
	The only way an appeal makes sense is if they can go to West Virginia or somewhere else.
	D.C.' 's toast.
	If I went to court for jaywalking in D.C., I would get five years.
	Well, another thing is to, you know, what these guys did, and they made a smart move in terms of going to trial by jury.
	When you're getting on trial, you have the option of doing trial by jury or a panel of judges.
	Now, what they can do is when they go into the appellate court, they're going to be in front of a panel of judges.
	Okay, that's slightly better.
	But the judges are going to be woke too.
	Did you see the judges on your appeal?
	I meant to ask you this.
	We should do a longer interview next week, but did you see the three judges on your appeal?
	The four judges?
	There's a whole story of it.
	I didn't get to see them, but I did hear them.
	But the thing about it is that those judges were New York appellate judges.
	They were assigned, they were given their jobs by the governor of New York.
	When you go to a federal level, that's different.
	They're given by the president.
	And we know that Trump did put in a lot of judges.
	Okay.
	So that's why now, with my appeal at the federal level, I don't know much about the judge, but there's a good chance that it may be a Trump appointee.
	Now, not to say that he's just gonna blindly say, John Kinsman, proud boy, one of us, Stamp, he's good.
	No, but I think I should be able to get a fair trial.
	Yeah, yeah, yeah.
	I think he should look at it without the influence of the governor.
	All right, we're out of time.
	Let's circle back next week and do a deep dive.
	Sure, Gavin.
	Just keep in touch with me, let me know.
	Later on, bud. Bud.
	You know what that song reminds me of?
	The glory days of Trump.
	The he-will-not-divide-us days.
	Before they made it illegal to be funny.
	Like, when Proud Boys started, everyone was on the same page and we were just laughing.
	And then the left went, wait a minute.
	They're starting to get young people to go to the right.
	They're moving the Overton window.
	Uh, Proud Boys are evil.
	Throw them in jail.
	Jail for a joke.
	Jail for meandering.
	Five million dollar fine for not raping a chick.
	Let's do some racism.
	That's what we do best over here, right?
	I'm a black female.
	What other difference, what else could I have done to piss you off?
	A black woman?
	This is really inconvenient.
	That's crazy!
	Gets me pumped.
	Oh, Black Betty, bam, bam, bam.
	Oh, Black Betty, bam, bam, bam.
	Black Betty had a child, bam, bam.
	The damn thing going wild.
	Gets me pumped.
	I like how the child is the damn thing he refers to.
	As you know, there is a myth that is pushed around the black community that actually, African-Americans were kings.
	I think the most common belief, especially with younger people, is that there was this beautiful, rich, black society with Cleopatra, and they were all living in pyramids, and then a bunch of rednecks showed up and went, yee-haw!
	Rounding them up, and then poom in the cotton fields, and you had some monarch who just yesterday had slaves, or not slaves, yeah, maybe slaves, and now all of a sudden he's picking cotton.
	He's like, do you know who I am?
	I'm King Tut.
	I bet you could find about 50% of young, liberal, black, white people who think that.
	In other words, about 100 million people think that's true.
	It's not true.
	The top of Africa has always been Arab.
	They did invent slavery, but the Moors were Arab.
	And I had a big fight with Ari the Rugged Man about it once, and he goes, he does that thing that lefties do when they laugh at your argument.
	And so they'll say, you'll go, King Tut, he was white.
	And then he'll send, he sends me a picture of his coffin.
	I've told you this before, but.
	And it's got black people on it.
	And then he has a laughing hysterically emoji.
	Like, I'm so stupid.
	It's hilarious.
	Have you noticed that?
	Well, you don't argue with lefties much.
	LOL.
	My kid did that once.
	I see a lot.
	She said, I wasn't even there.
	LOL.
	I'm like, don't LOL your father.
	Okay?
	My dad almost killed me once for putting all caps in an email.
	Um, so go to three, two.
	Oh yeah.
	Sorry.
	Let me finish.
	So, um, There's a cool thing going on right now where they made Cleopatra black and they took this dumb myth and made it a fact in a movie.
	I think Jada Pinkett Smith is playing her.
	And it's my favorite thing in the world, the cannibalism among the left.
	Now the Egyptians are like, what the fuck are you doing?
	We're not white people.
	You can't march all over us.
	You're not changing it.
	So now other groups are having their culture blackified and they're going, whoa, whoa, whoa.
	We're not pushovers like those American honkies who let you turn every superhero and every mythical figure and everyone into using black actors.
	We don't like this.
	And the Egyptian myth is now kinda getting a beating.
	So here's a 3,000 year old head.
	That's about how long it's been since I had a head.
	From the Egyptian money.
	Can you go up a bit?
	The monitor's in a weird spot.
	Just read it to me.
	Looks like I was kings.
	Well, that could be a black guy.
	Well, the hair is a real tough one.
	Old male, blue inlay survives in one eye.
	Traces of blondish ginger hair and beard survive where linen mummy wrappings have been peeled away.
	- Looks like I was kings. - DNA reveals ancient Egyptian ancestry.
	- Well, that could be a black guy.
	Well, the hair is a real tough one.
	I have seen a couple black dudes that look like that.
	Egyptian.
	But I haven't seen any with thin orange hair.
	Modern Egyptians are light as hell.
	Well, that's the other funny thing.
	Every time you see one of these mummies you go, that looks like someone who lives in Cairo.
	There wasn't this mass exodus of people and then a whole new type came in.
	Here's what I was just talking about 3-3, the Egyptians getting mad at this Cleopatra thing.
	I'm gonna have to take off my blazer.
	There's no AC here.
	It's brutal.
	What's that now?
	Egyptian government slaps Jada Pinkett Smith's Cleopatra, falsification of Egyptian history.
	She was Greek!
	She looked whiter than Egyptians.
	Yeah.
	And the thing that bothers me about this is there is tons of black history.
	Blacks have been around.
	So you don't need to force them into someone else's story.
	Why do they do this?
	I think it's because they only know a few stories.
	So they just stick them in.
	Like Hamilton.
	Why did you have to make everyone black and Puerto Rican to make American history interesting?
	Are we so ashamed of our past that you have to change the people to make it palatable?
	She's alive.
	She is the Pharaoh.
	My father's will names me co-ruler of Egypt.
	Julius Caesar is aware.
	Way more people are seeing this and believing it than are seeing that Egypt is not happy about it.
	Here's another 3-4.
	We've got the wrong Kangs.
	There is no future without...
	Here's another 3-4.
	We got the wrong Kangs.
	DNA results of Takabuti.
	Oh, he looks pretty black.
	Yeah.
	The famous 2006-year-old Egyptian mummy on display at the Ulster Museum show the DNA is more genetically similar to Europeans rather than something else.
	DNA results published in Nature Babuwa.
	Well, that's because we were European, too.
	Mummy DNA reveals ancient Egyptian ancestry.
	Go to the first link.
	First reported case of the rare holotype is in ancient Egypt.
	I guess that's our mitochondria.
	All right, getting too scientific for me here.
	Here's something a little easier to understand.
	You were dickwashers.
	Isn't it funny how liberals will see this segment and assume it was racist?
	I guess it's hate facts.
	It's gay.
	Here's a smart black person explaining what I'm trying to explain, and you'll probably find that easier to take because you're one of these Hamilton people that doesn't like hate facts from a white guy.
	I am watching the latest Invicta video on YouTube about the Numidian War, and I see this.
	That's supposed to be Jugurtha.
	Now, Invicta knows this.
	He does his research.
	Jogurtha wasn't fucking black.
	Hannibal wasn't black.
	There weren't a bunch of black people in North Africa for most of history.
	This is a coin of Jogurtha.
	This is a coin of Jogurtha from his time.
	From the time that Jogurtha lived, this coin was minted in his image.
	Where are you going?
	Does that look anything like a black guy?
	Not at all!
	Actually kind of looks like, uh...
	I didn't see that coming.
	Poor shit.
	He used to actually just, you know, talk about history.
	Recently, he started to do, like, why?
	What is the point?
	Rhetorical question.
	I know the point.
	It's to pander to people.
	You saw a little bump in your little analytics when the first time you portrayed a non-black person as black.
	Stop doing that.
	If you care so much to talk about black historical figures, Actually talk about historical black fucking figures!
	Jagirtha, Hannibal, Septimius Severus, not black.
	Cleopatra, not black.
	Sorry to hurt your feelings, don't give a shit.
	Malik Anbar, real.
	Black.
	Mansa Musa, real.
	Black.
	King Pierre, real.
	Black.
	Queen, and I'm gonna butcher the name, Anoramus, Anoraminus, who fought off the Romans, real.
	Black.
	Existed.
	An actual queen.
	All those fucking people that fought off the Neo-Assyrians, the Persians, the first and second fucking Rashid and Caliphate invasion.
	There are so many real black people you can pull from from history.
	There's no need to do this.
	And if you aren't willing to do the work and actually talk about these real historical figures, and you're just gonna fucking pander and lie about shit, stop fucking talking about history.
	Why?
	Why?
	Because real history matters.
	When you start playing around with history, and who did what, and why this happened and that happens, historically, it leads to justification for a lot of really, really bad shit.
	Stop being a pandering kid.
	All right, we get it, we get it.
	Wow.
	It's sort of like this play my old producer saw.
	Oh, sorry, Don.
	You had something to say?
	Well, I just thought it was amazing that he tells us all this information, and he also gets his daily steps in, okay?
	Fantastic.
	He was watching some play, it was from like antebellum days, and they had made the aristocrats black.
	They weren't, obviously, they were white.
	But then there's black slaves and black servants.
	So now you're watching a play where this black rich guy is totally okay with slaves everywhere.
	And now you've not just rewritten history, but you've added a new angle to something.
	Even YouTube is like, yeah, they're not.
	Remember there was that dude too, like they always choose these losers like George Floyd, Breonna Taylor, and Jordan Neely, and you're like, there are victims of racism out there.
	We had that guy in the South, gay black dude.
	These white kids said, let's go get some ends.
	They ran him over and killed him.
	OK, have a parade, have a rally, get out on the streets.
	No, it's in an irrevocably red state.
	So they could never use his death to get votes.
	It's like Alabama or something.
	So it's never, ever going to be blue.
	So he can just die.
	I don't care about him.
	I only care.
	This isn't me talking.
	I only care about blacks being killed in places that are purple, where I might be able to sway the votes.
	And the whole thing with making Cleopatra black and all that, it's a F you to whites, not Egyptians.
	It's a one-way street.
	Conan O'Brien's never playing Martin Luther King, but they're totally fine with... I would say dozens of white characters have been made black, right?
	The Honeymooners, Annie, I mean it goes on and on and on.
	Absolute shame, but if you see what they're doing, Gavin, with treats, okay?
	America loves the treats.
	They're gonna have Cedric the Entertainer play you in a biopic.
	I think they might.
	They might do it.
	If he's entertaining.
	Listen, I don't care what color he is, as long as he's entertaining.
	But what they're doing to snacks, Gavin, they've taken the white cream of the Oreo, they turned it fudge.
	They said, oh, look at all the fudge.
	Give me a break.
	They also took M&M's.
	Did you hear about this?
	And they're making them N&N's.
	OK, it's about time.
	That was racist.
	Sorry.
	Let's, let's balance out this racism with some good old-fashioned homophobia.
	This is why you can't, if you put my, did I tell you this?
	If you put my name in TikTok, it says I can't give you results.
	If you put in Stalin and any other mass murder, here's some great TikToks.
	I got that 3D software, DAL.
	Paid 16 bucks, which I guess you're not supposed to do.
	It sucks.
	And I put in Proud Boys and they wouldn't generate anything.
	Damn it.
	Wewd.
	Did it wewd?
	You got some gays yet?
	Yeah.
	Why are you gay?
	I felt ugly.
	I felt gay.
	And then we fell in love.
	And then they eat their poop poop.
	And we have a very good relationship.
	I don't like to partake.
	You don't want to see a close-up picture of my anus because you hate gay men!
	You are gay.
	HOMOPHOBE ALERT!
	You are gay.
	Yeah.
	Um, I hate a lock.
	Then just get a key.
	He's a pervert.
	He's corrupt.
	He talks a lot of trash.
	One of the worst things he ever said was, you're so worried about your precious daughters when us trans people go into the bathroom.
	Let me tell you, they're not the innocent princesses that you think they are.
	Oh really?
	That's insane to say.
	So basically you're saying she asked for it.
	You're saying these girls that are uncomfortable with men around them are little sluts.
	Okay.
	I strongly disagree, Alok.
	But I was, so I was sort of hate watching this.
	And then when I was done, I was like, well, a broken clock is right twice a day.
	I like what he's saying here.
	You often ask me, why do you continue to dress as you do, to live as incandescently as you do, knowing that you'd experience violence?
	To which I respond, why do you continue to lie to yourself, knowing that you'll experience depression?
	Why do you continue to sacrifice your authenticity, knowing that you're never going to experience happiness?
	Why are her shoes off?
	I was just thinking that.
	Did you see the snap though?
	You saw the snap?
	When she agrees, she goes real quick.
	There's a little one for you.
	In relationships that aren't serving you, it's because you're afraid.
	And your fear is holding you back from actually being alive.
	And you hate me because I template what it means to be alive.
	You hate me because I show you that you didn't have to clip your own wings.
	That you didn't have to live an abbreviated version of your joy.
	First of all, it's only black guys who hate you.
	We just think you're silly.
	It's like thugs.
	And basically, All non-whites, right?
	Like, Mexicans think he's a maricon.
	They know it.
	Hasidic Jews, Orthodox Jews don't even believe he exists.
	Asians, they don't care either, right?
	Yeah.
	It's not like Vietnamese people are mad at him.
	Amish think he's a demon.
	Amish think he's a demon.
	And then, like, hood dudes want to kill him.
	Yeah.
	And secretly fuck him.
	He's directing that at us, really.
	And I'm not going to beat you up, and I don't hate you.
	I think you're a...
	Ridiculous scam artist.
	He's the template for the slippery slope of self-indulgence.
	Like, and it sucks.
	Stop.
	It's like fashion obesity.
	Right, that's an epilogue.
	But I was just thinking, as he's blathering on there, I'm thinking, that is kind of the message of my show.
	And it's been my obsession, the whole, like, be yourself, get fired, get in trouble.
	And it's what I've been saying to cops, like, I know you get fired for doing the slightest little thing.
	Instead of being conforming to that and being a good boy, just plow forward.
	If you get fired, you get fired.
	That's what I say to people with jobs, too.
	Like, I'm thinking about doing this.
	Just do it.
	You should have seen Early Vice when it was Voice of Montreal.
	It sucked so much shit.
	Because we didn't wait till we were good.
	We hit the ground running.
	We had articles like, Chicks Can Rock Too!
	And a picture of a girl playing guitar like Kim Gordon or something.
	It's lame.
	It's hurt my feelings.
	So just do it.
	Plow forward.
	If you're a Trump supporter and you work at a liberal office, I mean, I understand you're not wearing a MAGA hat.
	I'm not saying try to get fired.
	But if they ask you, yeah, I'm a big fan.
	I think he's great for the country.
	Sorry.
	What?
	I don't think the vaccine was a smart move, and I don't think we handled COVID very well.
	I actually don't think COVID is a big deal.
	I can't believe we're still seeing masks, dude.
	It's my swastika.
	You know how if someone saw a swastika, they'd go, oh my god, I feel that way when I see a mask.
	On the train in Manhattan?
	When was the last time you heard of anyone getting COVID?
	It's been like almost a year.
	Can't be too careful.
	Here is a chick who has taken a chemical and now she's looking back over what she used to be like and she's like, what the fuck?
	And it's weird because I see a person going, what have I done?
	And he's, she's saying it like it's a cute, fun thing.
	Check this out.
	This is my normal voice one day on T slash pre-T.
	And this is my customer service voice one day on T slash pre-T.
	That video was taken a little over two years ago, and sometimes I literally just go back and watch it just because I convinced myself that my voice is, you know, very feminine.
	And it is still.
	It's an effeminate voice.
	But yeah, girl, my voice changed.
	Like, who is she?
	Who was that?
	Oh, my God.
	Who is she?
	Who was that?
	Yeah, that's what I'm screaming, dude.
	And your tongue was a normal color back in the day.
	Have you noticed too that the common thread with both of these clips is this overwhelming self-indulgence and self-referential content.
	Me, me, me.
	It's really the whole trans thing and a lot of the gay movement is just overwhelming vanity.
	Like, use my pronouns.
	That comes up when you're talking about someone.
	So, it's like me saying, my name's McKinnis, not McGinnis, okay?
	So don't deadname me.
	And if you're talking about me, make sure you use a hard C. There's no G there.
	We did have that with my grandfather, but we changed it.
	It's McKinnis.
	You'd go, fuck you.
	I'll say your name wrong.
	Oh, that dude.
	Chick.
	Why do they all turn into like someone's little brother?
	Yeah.
	They always look- Trans women, same with women with short hair, they just look like little boys.
	There's something going on with the tongue, dude.
	I've seen this, like, more than just these two tongues.
	Blue tongues?
	It's, it's like either white or brown, or white, orange, or whatever color that is.
	Maybe because of the dry mouth from SSRIs or something?
	And what you're seeing, you know how she's all self-indulgent there?
	You're seeing a junkie doing heroin.
	So a junkie's never happier than when the first goes into the vein.
	This is the self-indulgent drug going right into the vein.
	She's freebasing vanity right now.
	Or look at this dude.
	This is a gigantic fat pig who lost a lot of weight.
	Okay.
	It's happened before.
	In fact, if it doesn't, you're probably dead.
	So, yeah, you saved your own life by not indulging yourself.
	And here he is tracking his journey.
	This is like that dude with the dyed blonde hair who dumped his wife when she has a 17-month-old and said he's gonna vlog about style and living in New York.
	So straights do it too.
	Me. - Hey!
	Look how good she looks.
	Here's me.
	And then he starts crying.
	Go to his page.
	Can you do that?
	Yes.
	That's every video of his.
	It's just him smiling like you adore him.
	He's like, yes, it's me.
	I know you love me.
	You worship the ground I walk on.
	But I'm not a big bag of clothes.
	Oh, this is the first one I saw.
	Like, he had to sit and stuff that sweater.
	Well, what do you think?
	Uh, disgusting.
	There's like a fat woman in your torso.
	With big tits and a fat ass.
	One man's after pic is another man's starting position.
	Me!
	Oh, me!
	God, this is so me.
	Did you know I used to be fat?
	I didn't know Fetterman had a clothing line.
	Is this all hoodies?
	Look at every single picture, too.
	He loves that shirt.
	Let's see the crying one.
	Uh, which one?
	This one right here?
	No, it's below that.
	Do we love ourselves?
	Yeah, that one.
	Oh my god, he's literally in love with himself.
	What am I watching?
	This is crazy.
	I'm gonna kill myself.
	I'm overloading.
	I love- what if they start 69ing each other right now?
	There's a book like that, it's called The Man Who Folded Himself, about a time traveler who ends up fucking himself.
	It's really good.
	Still going!
	Well, we're obsessed with ourselves, so yes.
	Oh my God, he's crying!
	He's so in love with himself!
	Oh my God!
	Those are real tears!
	Happy birthday, Shane.
	Happy birthday, me.
	That was, dude, bookmark that.
	That's going in my permanent vault like Donald Trump can't handle it.
	Wow.
	Imagine making that movie.
	Wow that video.
	Nicki Minaj has a song called that.
	When I first heard it I thought oh that's kind of cool.
	It's uh she's she's talking about some old boyfriend she had in her hood days in Queens and now she's a celebrity and she misses her old days and maybe they're gonna meet and she like sneaks out the back of one of her concerts and then she gets in this Honda Civic and they go to like fucking uh White Castle.
	Yum.
	And then I started listening to the lyrics closer and I realized, no, it's a love song to herself.
	It's called Darling Nikki.
	No, no, that's Prince.
	Dear Nikki.
	Yeah.
	And she's like, yo, I miss you.
	I miss the old Nikki.
	Yeah, I know this one.
	Oh my gosh.
	She was, and then, and then she writes these lyrics like, you were so tall, you could never fall.
	You were so brave.
	I looked up, I looked up to you.
	I want to be like me one day.
	What are you going to be when you grow up?
	Me?
	What should I title it?
	That Guy Cries at Himself?
	No, no, look up Dear Nikki.
	Maybe there's a video of it.
	Wouldn't that be funny if there's a video of her looking at herself like that and crying?
	Dude, we are at an IQ recession, and the vanity economy is booming.
	America's vanity has never been healthier.
	There is a music video.
	There is?
	That's what it says.
	No, I made this video because I was feeling down, but I like it.
	Oh my god.
	Official music video, they named it.
	What balls?
	This is a fan-made video.
	Oh my god, it's exactly what I just said!
	Yeah.
	Oh, it's made by fans?
	Yes.
	Okay.
	But they have the balls to say official music video.
	music This is exactly the same plot.
	Oh my god.
	Okay, that's enough.
	Let's do some war on kids.
	We got to get out of here, man.
	Long-ass show.
	This is your last long-ass free show, by the way.
	That whole segment was a war on us.
	Hello, class!
	I had a sex change up, Raven.
	Who wants to pound my bag?
	We're living in an ageism era, where children are seen as human garbage.
	Regulations to indoctrinate American school children with poisonous and divisive left-wing doctrines.
	On your feet, soldier!
	On your feet!
	So, I got an interesting letter.
	I know this is in the mailbag, but this chick was talking about... What was it called?
	Pet parent.
	Uh, she was talking about this obsession that people have with their pets and how they still have, uh, a maternal instinct, but, um, they just directed it at animals like Seth Rogen.
	I'm so glad I didn't have kids.
	So is my wife.
	We're just not kid people.
	It cut to her taking her puppy, uh, with a baby knapsack on a hike and then cut to the dog dying and her talking about losing her daughter.
	Sounds like she did want a kid, Seth.
	You stoned buffoon.
	But, uh, you're starting to see all these people who, they believe, like the globalists have told us, you know, get a vasectomy.
	End it all.
	End your lineage.
	Don't have more kids.
	We'll just replace you with immigrants.
	So don't worry about the population.
	We got that covered.
	But you should stop existing.
	And people take the bait, or they commit suicide, we have a brutal suicide rate.
	I got a cool letter from a guy who said, you say that fucking a different chick every night is a gay lifestyle, and it is, but he goes, having a vasectomy is gay, because your cum doesn't mean anything.
	So he goes, I wish I had never done it, but he goes, sex with women now?
	I'm just masturbating with a chick.
	Oh yeah.
	Because there's no risk.
	And he said, I miss the like, oopsie, that could have been a bad one.
	And I walked down the street, and I know I couldn't impregnate any of you.
	Wow.
	Like with fighting, you leave the gym, and you're like, I don't want to fight, but I could kick your ass, your ass, you I could last a long time with, but you're a big boy.
	Imagine that was stripped away, where if you get punched this hard, you just faint.
	So you'd walk down the street differently, scared.
	You're not dangerous.
	You're not, you're not a man.
	You have no, there's no risk to your actions.
	And if, and he goes, if I met, I think his wife died.
	He goes, if I met a woman, I wouldn't be able to, uh, I think you can reverse it.
	But he said it's a whole process.
	Anyway, 50% reversal rate.
	This was sent to us and the guy described it as grotesque mimicry for zero.
	I got the... that was the email.
	Sorry.
	Here comes the force.
	No, I was going back.
	We'll get to the email in a second.
	I sort of skipped ahead.
	My bad.
	No kids.
	No girlfriend.
	But he's happy to raise parrots.
	And these people are like, I don't have... I wouldn't be a good dad.
	And then they do this.
	So you've clearly been neutered, dude.
	Like, the DNA in you, the genes that are making you do this, are parenting genes.
	I'm a parent-parent.
	I'm a parent-parent.
	I love you to my babies!
	Is there shit all over your house?
	Did you clip all their wings?
	Because that's going way beyond grotesque.
	And if you didn't clip their wings, then there must be shit all over the house.
	Is that one dead?
	Those last two at the end have passed.
	It has ceased to be!
	Speaking of parents, did I show you this?
	The Glaswegian guy?
	What?
	It's not done, dude.
	I'm sending you something right now.
	Wait, did you show it?
	It flies to his bed.
	Did you get that part?
	Yeah, so they can fly a little.
	Once upon a time, there was a little-- He's gotta be gay, right?
	I guess... Yeah.
	That little hip move?
	Look at the way he adjusts himself.
	See, this is... People think you're homophobic if you don't want your kids to be gay.
	No, I want my kids to live a full life that's normal.
	I don't want them... You know, you don't want your kid to be missing a pinky.
	It's not normal to be gay.
	I'm not saying it's bad.
	I don't want them... I don't think they're going to hell.
	I'm just like, well, I'll never have grandkids with that one and he's gonna fucking have to parent parrots.
	Look at this little hip move as he readjusts.
	He's reading them a story.
	These carpets look like shit.
	Literally.
	Brock?
	Gay?
	He's reading them a story.
	His carpets look like shit.
	Literally.
	Brock, free me, faggot, Brock!
	I have eight pet parrots in my house.
	Go to the thing I just sent you It's a little off topic, but it's this Glaswegian junkie and he's got a parrot in his pouch.
	In his marsupial pouch.
	And the guys are like, I think it dies as he pulls it out.
	And he goes, I think you killed it.
	Is that it?
	Yeah.
	Watch out, you're gonna knock that down.
	Isn't it amazing that that's English?
	He's feeding his pigeon peanut butter.
	Where's the drunk guy?
	I just see a normal Glaswegian.
	Yeah, I feel good about my drinking habits when I see this.
	- Okay, go forward a bit. - Go back.
	Is that a pigeon in there?
	Right, is that a pigeon in there?
	He's got a pigeon in his fucking pocket, man!
	Who's got a pigeon in his fucking pocket, man?
	I don't know, mate.
	I'm not being hangry, I'll just take it from my pile.
	See, now that I've caught me a pigeon.
	I think it's deed, she says.
	Aye, obviously.
	I love animals.
	I love animals.
	You can't have flies you've got in your fucking pocket, man.
	These pigeon parents are, there's a wide variety of them.
	Some are very doting, some, some should be, we should call pigeon services.
	PPS?
	Listen, listen.
	You can't fry.
	- I've had a whole night for help and safety.
	He's gotta have that done in a pocket.
	- Listen, listen.
	- You can't even fly.
	- You can't even fly.
	- Aye.
	He's a lie.
	I'm so afraid of lies.
	I don't know what to tell you about that.
	I will.
	I think you're fucking kilted.
	Aye, right.
	Are you kidding me, lad?
	Honestly.
	No, I think he's not a liar.
	He's not a thief.
	Don't count it on you.
	I think you're fucking kilted.
	He goes, I think you're fucking kilted.
	He goes, are you kidding me?
	He goes, I'm serious.
	Well, honestly, me.
	Is that a fight about to happen?
	That energy?
	Or that's normal?
	That's normal.
	OK.
	So that's why there's so many fights, because the normal conversations are confrontational.
	OK.
	I'm reading a letter out of turn.
	Hey, Gavin.
	My toddler's napping, so I have time to talk to you regarding pet parents.
	It just got me thinking about this weird child replacement phenomenon going on with younger couples.
	What is with the pet parents?
	Why?
	It is the woman driving this force of pet parenthood.
	I think it's cowardice.
	Having a kid is scary.
	It's a big step.
	It's saying goodbye to your youth.
	And people are so weak and self-indulgent now, they don't want to take the next step.
	It's like jumping into a cold lake.
	You know it's gonna be fine in a few seconds, but you're like, yeah, it's too cold.
	"I have included a very brief text exchange "between my mother, she had four children, "and my younger sister, 31 this year, childless, "and with her boyfriend of 12 years or so.
	"My sister is not married to said boyfriend, "and she has zero plans to have children "with this amazing man who wants kids.
	You should see him with my children.
	He's a natural.
	He even confided in me that he desperately wants a baby and that he's working on my sister.
	31 dude, we're coming to a close.
	I can't even talk to my sister about baby stuff because she gets so angry and would shut me out.
	I refuse to bring it up and risk my children not being able to spend time with their aunt and uncle.
	My sister and brother-in-law have two dogs and they love them, of course, but they are dogs.
	She speaks as if her dogs are human children.
	What is this?
	Why do women do this to themselves?
	You should do a deep dive into pet parent phenomenon and your opinions on the matter.
	And then here's the text, I love y'all too.
	Aw, Dave will make a wonderful daddy.
	And then the daughter responds, he's a great daddy to our dogs and he will be to our future dogs too.
	And then the mom mother goes, it's not the same.
	You will be the best mom pushing.
	Just fucking poke a hole in the condom.
	In good news, we have a lot of negative news on this show.
	Let's cheer up a bit with these conservatives who took over a Colorado school and they got rid of the guidance counselors.
	You know, in black schools, what do they have?
	It's called a culture monitor or something.
	Culture head of culture.
	You're like, how much money are you making for your bullshit made up job?
	On a more positive note, the good news is... I'm gonna cum.
	Congratulations.
	Sorry to keep you waiting.
	I tear up for happy things.
	People eat animal dicks and jump out of helicopters.
	Like, I'll cry now because I'm thinking about it.
	I forgot about that drop.
	Conservatives took over a Colorado school.
	I can't read it.
	You have to scroll up and I can read it as it gets above the camera.
	So they took over a Colorado school board and then adopted a right-wing group social studies program, did not reapply for grants to pay counselors, and 40% of the high school's professional staff won't return next year.
	Yes!
	That's wild.
	A victory.
	That's a sweeping victory.
	Guidance counselor.
	What a stupid job.
	I don't want you talking to my kids about what they should do with their lives.
	And why does a guy need counseling on dancing?
	You're a guy dance counselor?
	The minutia.
	Alright, click on the article please.
	Alright.
	So there's hope, folks.
	When you band together.
	Uh, go I can only read things.
	Trump was great at this.
	How conservatives transformed a Colorado school district.
	That's great.
	They just privatized everything?
	Big changes.
	I can't read it, Ryan.
	I've got too much equipment in the way.
	Yep.
	Also in the good news, Harvard has been massacred.
	They have this name like the Smithsonian Institute or something.
	They have this research group that had a great reputation.
	Obviously, it's Harvard.
	And they got this fat, ugly SJW who looks like she's from the cantina in Star Wars.
	And she's got Luke O'Brien and some hate watch losers, and they hire hackers to ruin conservatives' lives.
	So, in the short term, that's a shitty thing to do, right?
	It's fascism.
	But in the long term, you're destroying Harvard and, you know, a major academic institution.
	But there are some professors fighting back.
	Over 100 Harvard professors form a council in a fight for free speech amidst a crisis.
	Read the opening paragraph there.
	Sure.
	Harvard professor professors are taking a stand for free speech.
	More than a hundred of the school's faculty members have joined the new council on academic academic freedom banning together to protect free speech on the Ivy League campus.
	We are in a crisis time right now, Janet Haley says.
	She's a Harvard Law School professor and feminist legal theory scholar.
	She told the Post many many people are being threatened and actually put through disciplinary processes for their exercise of free speech and academic freedom.
	You know who's not a Harvard professor?
	Who dat?
	Joseph Biden.
	He's barely a human being.
	He is the most useless person that has ever led a country.
	Let's check in on him, shall we?
	Biden!
	Perfect song for him.
	Especially that ending.
	Whatever that was.
	But a friendly monster too My pet Wait, that doesn't rhyme Perfect song for him Especially that ending Whatever that was What was that, a tuba?
	Maybe a trumpet Could be a trombone.
	Trombone, yeah, that's probably what it is.
	Look, we think Pete Buttigieg's incompetent.
	He's the reason our infrastructure sucks.
	He was hired because he's gay.
	He exists in the political discussion because he's gay.
	But let's not kid ourselves, his ass is exquisite.
	And the thought of just putting oil on it and just See it feeling and smelling his booty juice with flies would be heaven and Joe Biden knows this and now we those of us in the know in politics we call him Pete booty juice because we can only imagine that there's delicious secretions that go on between his butt cheeks and Joe accidentally spilled the beans and called him that.
	And now it is my great honor to introduce the President of the United States President Joe Biden.
	Turn it up.
	It takes an hour to get there. - Yeah.
	Thank you, Secretary Buttigieg.
	Thank you all for being here.
	You know what he's really doing?
	He doesn't know how to say Buttigieg.
	None of us do, but you could be, if you're president, you could maybe be coached in the back.
	But he goes, you know what I'll do?
	I'll just mumble it.
	Hey, I pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States of America, and to the republic for which it stands, one nation under God, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all.
	The funny thing about Biden too is, I was saying to Alex Jones, I like trying to figure out what he meant to say.
	It's like a little puzzle, a little New York Times crossword.
	But also, when Bad Lip Reading does a parody, You go, holy shit, I finally understand him.
	He finally sounds reasonable.
	So he's the only guy in history where bad lip reading makes him sound better and more reasonable and more sane than he does in real life.
	That's an accomplishment.
	Hey, wait.
	Did you say my name?
	Beetlejuice.
	Yeah, sorry.
	You said it three times, so, uh... Here we are.
	Yep.
	Anyway, back to the link.
	Right.
	Nope.
	Taking a while.
	Turn it up and go to the beginning.
	That's why I got a donkey in my office.
	Cows are people too, aren't they?
	That's why I got a donkey in my office.
	Nuh-uh!
	You do not!
	But it's a poster!
	You should have ligers!
	Hey, ligers are only in fiction.
	That's what you think!
	No, they're real, right?
	What you need is percussion.
	If you have friends who fancy percussion, then play as much shaker as you can.
	If you're crying there, just waiting at the hospital, I will defeat Tony.
	They are real.
	If he was wrestling for something here, I'd drop him.
	I'd defeat Tony.
	Finally, you're smart.
	I'd make a liger take him away.
	You don't deserve ligers!
	Hey guys, very soon after this I'm buying millions of Likers.
	Cows are people too, aren't they?
	Anyway, just two short clips.
	The thing, I wanted to show you the variety we have on this show and the regular fuck-ups we make.
	But the one thing that this particular episode doesn't represent is the lack of deep diving.
	We usually go much deeper.
	Like the Bromley thing, the evolution of rebellion is a normal segment.
	Usually my pet Biden is more like 10 minutes or so.
	But I just wanted to have a little smorgasbord.
	You know the food they have in the Middle East, like in Israel?
	You sit down and there's like 90 little dishes you can dip at.
	That's what this episode is.
	The dipping dish.
	Dishes.
	Little appetizers.
	Let's get to the final video.
	Shall we?
	And no mailbag, you bastard.
	Oh yeah, mailbag.
	What am I talking about?
	No, there will be no mailbag.
	Ryan, shut up, you don't have a dad.
	Let's turn our eyes to Gavin's mailbag.
	Let me touch it.
	Wasn't that woman's tone annoying too?
	The mother says he'd be a great daddy.
	She goes, he will be a great daddy to our dogs!
	And future dogs, thank you.
	It's so aggressive.
	Isn't it?
	Yeah.
	Like she's not saying, you're fat.
	And she comes back with, I'm maybe four pounds overweight.
	Stop calling me fat all the time.
	I work out every day.
	It was like, I want your life to be happy.
	And I want to enrich your daily experience with kids.
	Uh oh.
	We're low on power boys.
	You know what, unless, if she has some sort of ovarian issues, then of course that's fucked up.
	But wouldn't you say that?
	Wouldn't you say, um... Hey, this is why we're not having kids, okay?
	Can you back off?
	Yeah, no.
	I don't want kids.
	I... I... Sorry about this, folks.
	It's an outbreak.
	I'm a professional.
	And wait till she regrets it.
	Okay!
	How could I join the Butt Boys?
	I haven't purpled these.
	Yeah, Rye guy.
	The Butt Boys is like Antifa.
	It's just an idea.
	There's no headquarters.
	There's no paperwork.
	There's no secret handshake like there is with Proud Boys.
	The Butt Boys is an idea and the idea is don't let people butt in line.
	Now some guy was asking me here, he's like, I saw this woman preparing to mow the lawn and I saw her husband and her son watching TV and drinking beer in the garage.
	And I said, I had to Larry David it.
	And I said to her, shouldn't they be doing that?
	And she goes, Oh, it's fine.
	I like it.
	It relaxes me.
	No, not acceptable.
	So he goes, what should I do, risk getting punched in the face?
	I said, you should Larry David your life right up to not getting punched in the face.
	So you could go up to those guys and be like, guys, what?
	And they're like, what?
	The mom is mowing the lawn?
	What is this?
	Oh, another good trick, too, that doesn't get you punched in the face is you go, you do an accent.
	Hey, excuse me, yeah?
	I'm from Scotland, I don't understand.
	So here in America, a woman mows the lawn and a man just sits around.
	That doesn't, Walsh and Scotland.
	And then they'll be like, yeah, it's kind of weird.
	That's the way it is here.
	You got your message across.
	They might think about it.
	But yeah, if they look like murderers, just drop it.
	What's the deal with calls?
	Well, we... Oh yeah, the card is absolutely suspended or something.
	It's the card.
	The card or the account?
	The actual card.
	The account is fine.
	But you used a different card.
	Yeah, I don't know what's up.
	Maybe because I tried too many processes or something.
	I don't know.
	But, um... Show your face.
	Tit lips.
	What are you talking about?
	Are we- Can we not take calls anymore?
	Until we get it figured out, I don't think that taking- I can't hear you, Lex.
	I'm talking- I'm yelling at you right now.
	I said until we can figure out.
	Okay, shut up.
	This- I don't care, tell me later.
	Um, this is a good one.
	Wife and I have been married for six years.
	No kids.
	We never had sex before marriage, wanted to wait till after marriage.
	From our wedding night, sex has never been possible.
	Cannot physically penetrate her due to vaginismus.
	I think that's being born with an incredibly small vagina.
	She went to the doctor, did physical therapy, got dilators and was told to use them regularly to stretch it out.
	Now picture every time you attempt sex it ends with the second you put it in.
	She's crying and you have to console her because she feels so bad.
	Occasionally I'd ask if she's been using the dilators and doing PT and she says no.
	By the way, she despises blowjobs and has virtually no sex drive.
	I try to tell myself that once we have a kid that will stretch out the vag and it won't be a problem.
	They're pretty elastic, buddy.
	And of course we have fertility issues.
	My counts in motility are great.
	I don't know what that means.
	Yet again, it's her problem.
	So now we're medically highly unlikely to have kids on top of having absolutely no intimacy.
	Am I wrong to be going completely crazy?
	Dude, we're pro-marriage.
	We're anti-divorce.
	It destroys the kids.
	But in New York law, if she hasn't fucked you in a year, it's grounds for divorce.
	If you're not getting laid once a year, fuck once a year, if you're not getting laid once a month, you're not married.
	Once a month is bad, guys.
	So dump her ass.
	You got faulty goods.
	If you get a car back from the dealership and it has no engine, you didn't get a car.
	This doesn't work.
	And she's clearly not interested in fixing the problem, so bye bye!
	Home to mommy.
	Uh, we go for a year plus to the only licensed sex therapist in the state, and the lady tells her simple things that I've been trying to politely communicate to her.
	I feel any other man would simply be divorced by now, but my religion and morals tell me it's wrong.
	It's not wrong.
	It's not like, you know, she got cancer and you're dumping her because she went bald.
	I've seen people adopt and those kids often turn like they're drug-addicted biological parents.
	Yeah, I've noticed that too.
	And I don't deserve to see my own genes passed on?
	On top of all this, she has depression and takes lots of medication.
	She was also on birth control while we dated due to painful periods.
	So I'm wondering if she was never sexually attracted to me and doesn't want the gravy train to leave.
	I have to wonder if she realizes deep down After going off birth control but doesn't want to admit it.
	Yeah, that's a good theory.
	Cherry on top is she doesn't wear makeup, dress nice, or try to look good at all.
	So I hope you are watching this episode, dude, because you've been there about six years too long.
	Alrighty.
	Someone submitted an I Love Karen shirt.
	I don't like it.
	It's Nate Ober, of course, our mentally ill friend.
	Our mentally ill goth friend.
	This shirt looks like your wife's name is Karen.
	We have to say we support Karens.
	And if you don't watch the show regularly, we've recently come to the epiphany that though Karens are often wrong, at least they're out there trying to reorganize this self-indulgent mess of a society we're in.
	We're living in a society!
	Nate Obes.
	Uhuru Gavin, what happened to presidents having facial hair?
	The last president to have facial hair was William Taft in 1913.
	The next facial hairless president allowed the Federal Reserve income taxes and involvement in the First World War.
	Doubtful that's just a coincidence.
	Absolutely, sir.
	That's terrible, that.
	You know, the Russians say kissing a man without a sandwich is like eating fish without salt.
	Hmm.
	It is.
	You know, if you have a big mustache and you kiss girls, I remember back in my single days, it freaks them out.
	Because the things go up their nose and stuff.
	It takes some getting used to.
	On the Cop and Robber Show, I saw you do the little wiggle the empty beer can to ask for another.
	I thought I would share my favorite way to ask for beer with friends.
	When you see someone going to the fridge or opening a cooler, you say, yeah.
	Slightly louder than normal.
	Similar to how you would say to someone in another room, yeah.
	This is the signal for the person to grab you one, too.
	Might take a couple times to get good at it.
	Yeah, that's a good one.
	When you do this, too, especially with Matty, who's a felon, you sort of go like, you gotta have your eyebrows up high, and be like, hey, give me, but submissive, not like, hey, fuckface, beer.
	You know what I do at my bar now?
	I'm done my beer, I put it right there.
	So when he scans, he sees it sitting there, he doesn't have to come over and see if it's full or whatever, or ask me.
	This means I want another beer.
	You know what I've been doing with my kids, too, is my 10-year-old.
	Let me see you say, can I get the check?
	Who, me?
	Yeah.
	No, the other guy in the room.
	Can I get the check, please?
	Thanks.
	I can't hear.
	What if I'm not in the earshot?
	Excuse me?
	Can we get the check?
	All right, thank you.
	That's OK.
	This is what you do.
	Say she's like 20 feet away.
	Eyebrows as high as they can possibly go.
	And you go, can I get that check, please?
	I'm happy.
	You whisper?
	My son can't do it.
	He's always like, can we get a check?
	You look like a deranged psycho.
	Are you Sebastian Maniscalco?
	He's like, what am I doing wrong?
	I go, eyebrows up, happy.
	Can we get a check?
	Yeah, thanks.
	Can we, you mind if we write that?
	Thank you.
	No, that, it's gotta go up.
	Can we get a check, please?
	Can we get a check, please?
	Up.
	Yeah.
	Can we get a check, please?
	Sometimes I go down, I'm like.
	Now you're, now you're behind someone's head.
	I want your hands up here.
	It's a busy restaurant.
	Can we get a check, please?
	Can we get a check, please?
	I could see that.
	I'll try it again.
	Try it again.
	I'll try it again.
	Ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm Can we hear the real Eminem Blast?
	Yes!
	Of course.
	The NNN Blast.
	He'll be saying soon.
	That's you just, like, loving your joke?
	I got an Eminem Blast!
	These are my favorite.
	These are my... We thought it was, that's my favorite, for the longest time.
	Okay, now we can get to the final video.
	Ah.
	In Latin, Elvidius Finatus.
	- This is Phonetis. - That's the animation behind you. - That's the animation behind you. - This is Phonetis.
	We'll be right back.
	All right, Mel, I'm going to go.
	I mean, fine.
	Let's check it.
	Let's do it, shall we?
	There we go.
	There we go.
	Last big free show ever.
	The next ones will be 30 minutes, and 30 minutes a week is not enough.
	We give you hours a day of quality content.
	Informative, funny.
	In clown world, it's the only way you can stay sane.
	You'll think everyone is nuts when they say things like Trump said that he loves rape and you can grab anyone you want by the vagina and that they burned down Black Wall Street and that cops are hunting blacks for sport and you'll hear all this bullshit and then you'll come here and I'll go, no, the truth is this.
	The truth shall set you free.
	No more lies.
	Women don't get paid less than men for the same work.
	But we joke around the whole time.
	And if there's any agenda here, it's to stop messing around and partying.
	We're not against partying.
	We did it too.
	But when you get to be 25 as a lady or 30 as a man, you got to start thinking about throwing a ring on it and pumping out some kids.
	One is for losers.
	Two is for fags.
	Three is a bare minimum.
	And if you're wondering why you should do this, I would like to present Exhibit A.
	Spit take.
	laughter What can't she have in there?
	They never liked that thing.
	What can't she have in there?
	Let her have it.
	She's dying.
	She can barely breathe.
	Get fired.
	Get in trouble.
	Be brave.
	And never stop fighting.

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