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Jan. 6, 2023 - Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes
53:52
GOML LIVE #177 - HOME INVASION (Part 1)

Callers tell us cops what we got wrong about burglaries. It's gay. (Full episode only on Censored.tv)

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Time Text
Live from New York, it's Get Off My Lawn with Gavin it's Get Off My Lawn with Gavin McInnes.
Live from New York, it's Get Off My Lawn with Gavin McInnes.
That song is fucking gay.
What?
Rap is gay.
Rap is, I fuck tons of bitches.
I'm a badass.
If you fuck with me, you'll die.
Okay.
We are nervous around black people here in America, so we just go, okay, that's a thing.
But I don't forgive white people talking like that.
You're back in black?
What are you talking about?
I'm back!
There's nothing gayer than saying, I'm back.
Just be back.
Just return.
Don't say I'm back.
And I looked up the lyrics.
They are retarded.
If you want to hang out with me, you have to catch me.
Hey Matty, wanna come to my party?
I'm turning 54 in July.
Yeah, maybe, if you can catch me.
Okay, well, no, I'm not trying to catch you.
Here's the address.
Here's the address of where we're hanging out.
I'm not chasing you and what?
How do I catch you?
With a net?
Look up the fucking lyrics to the gayest song white people have ever made, Back in Black.
I'm back!
It's almost as bad as Rough Boys.
Rough Boys is bad.
I wanna suck and taste you, rough boys, out on the streets.
This is up there with it.
Okay, first of all, you're back.
That's gay, right?
I've been too long, I'm glad to be back.
Alright, that's fine.
Like, what did you, you just got out of cancer treatment?
Blow it up.
Blow up the lyrics.
Can't see them very well.
So say you went through cancer treatment and you've been away, like L.A.
at our bar, right?
He got sick for a while.
You know what he did when he came back to the bar?
He sat at his table, his usual spot.
He watched his sports and he had a beer.
He didn't go, I'm back!
So it's gay.
I'm just looking at the sky because it's getting me high.
Forget the hearse because I'll never die.
What are you, nine?
And go down a bit.
I'm... Yes, I'm in a bang with a gang.
They've got to catch me if they want me to hang.
I have to catch you if I want to hang out with you?
No, I think if they want to be hung.
If they want me to hang.
Because they're like bad rogues.
Yeah.
Well, you're wrong about everything, so that's... Well, I know ACDC like the back of my H. So, sorry, what's your two cents here, Detective Shitty?
Like, they want to catch him to be hanged.
Don't forget, these are the guys who had to make a jailbreak.
Oh, I see, I see.
So the police have to catch him if they want to hang him.
Oh, I misread that.
Okay, you're right.
Detective Shitty is right.
I thought, like... When it comes to ACDC... If you want to hang out with me, you gotta catch me.
So you're right.
I was wrong on that one.
Thank you.
But, like, look at me now.
I'm just making my play.
Don't try to push your luck.
Just get out of my way.
Hey, you guys!
Don't try to push your luck.
This is a drag queen song.
I'm in the back of a Cadillac.
I'm a power pack, you guys.
Now, if you think about it, it says, I'm back on the track.
Being on the track, as you pointed out earlier, yeah.
And he's in the back of a Cadillac.
So he must be with a John.
Walking back and forth.
But imagine someone said to you, hey, I'm a power pack.
You'd go, what?
You're not a power pack.
It's a power pack.
You're like a thing with batteries in it.
I'm back, you guys.
One of their biggest songs?
You're never going to catch me.
I'm fucking, I'm a power pack.
Well that's better than some of their more racist songs.
What are their more racist songs?
Yeah, Highway to Hell.
Is that like having to go to Harlem?
Well listen to the first line.
Let's fast forward a little bit.
Seasoned nigger on a one-way ride?
She's a nigger on a one-way ride.
What does that mean?
I don't know.
She's on the highway to hell.
Maybe she's also a prostitute?
She's a nigger on a one-way ride.
He doesn't really enunciate very well.
Let's hear it.
It's clear as day.
But what does that mean?
Ask him.
Well, he's dead.
How is that different from a person on a one-way ride?
Niggardly, in what's the dictionary, means cheap, stingy.
I don't think that's what the little guy in the Newsy hat is going for.
Back in black?
I'm back!
They're both songs about blacks.
Calm down.
That's one of my favorite bands in the whole wide world.
I never realized how lame Back in Black was until today.
I heard it on the jukebox and I was like, okay, you're back, you're back, okay.
Just sit down and mind your own business.
The cops are gonna have to catch me!
Shut the fuck up, Robin.
You know?
It's got a Robin vibe.
You know what's a better song?
What?
Let me put my love into you, babe.
Let me cut your cake with my knife.
Okay, I don't mind that.
It's just retarded 13-year-old, like, fuck references.
That's fine.
Yeah, like big balls.
Yeah.
Big bottom girls too with Queen and stuff.
I don't mind that.
Or a whole lot of Rosie.
Just stupid.
It's like PC Boys.
Early shit.
But like, you gotta catch me.
I'm back.
Me, me, me.
I'm a... Can you imagine anyone telling you they're a power pack?
Yeah.
I'm a power pack.
Fuck off.
No you're not.
He's a gay libber.
If you call yourself a power pack, you're not a power pack.
No.
Maybe he's a rat packer!
Didn't he drink himself to death?
Is that the same guy?
That's Bon Scott.
This is Brian Johnson, who replaced him.
You can't replace Bon, but... So, Bon Scott's calling himself a power pack.
He drank a bottle of Jack and fell asleep in his car and, like, puked himself to death.
That's not a power pack.
Well, power packs do have to recharge.
Sometimes they run out of battery.
Batteries freeze in the cold.
Yeah.
The life of being a pack is that you don't have infinite, you're not plugged in.
Did you know in Australia aboriginals will lie on the road because the road is black and it's warm?
And then they'll get run over by cars.
Yeah.
Like we complain about our African-Americans.
Abos are a fucking unimaginable mess over in that island.
Anyway, welcome to Get Off My Lawn.
Sorry for all that homophobia and racism out of the gate.
Ladies and gentlemen, over on the couch we have nine times married Tim Dickman and ex-state trooper Sylvia, what's your last name again?
Aditya Sanabria.
Aditya Sanabria.
So Sylvia was a state trooper.
She was an NYPD cop for a long time.
Then she was a trooper.
Never!
Never!
Tim Dickman is a cock addict who has been married nine times, mostly to black and brown men.
Been in domestic violence situations innumerable times.
I've talked to police in New Rochelle who claim that Tim was a punching bag for his various husbands.
TV.
I brought that up.
He's a left hooker!
A left hooker!
Actually, let's stop the joke here because I have to say something relevant.
Sylvia, a new Michelle Copp told me that he remembers you and you were a punching bag for your husband.
That's true.
I love that.
I love when there's an allegation and the person goes, yep, that's what happened.
Can I tell why?
Like Tucker Carlson, they go, you're at the Daily, what was it?
Daily Caller.
You don't allow criticism of Fox News because you work at Fox News.
And Tucker goes, yep, that's what happened.
I can't allow that.
They employ me, so I don't.
Defend the brand.
I don't.
I have to defend the brand.
Sorry.
And of course, we have Matty O'Dell!
What's up, everybody?
Happy New Year 2023.
Happy New Year!
Looks like a male model now that he's recovered from his 37 operations.
Yeah, at three this year, last year.
Last year, you had three operations.
You were invaded by like Tom Cruise.
What's that movie where they have the things that check War of the Worlds?
You had War of the Worlds things up your groin, going in there, burning your heart.
Then I had an implant put in and then I had a testy implant He's what you call a Bernie Madoff special Tim have you ever hung out with Sylvia outside of the show?
No No I just met her today for the first time What do you think?
She's awesome Hot Smoking You know what she said to me once?
She goes My biggest regret is my addiction to cock What did I say?
You told me once your biggest regret is your addiction to cock.
No, not me.
You got me mixed up with that whore you used to sling mud with.
Sling mud with?
No, you said that you've ruined every marriage you've had with your libido.
No, none of my marriages were ruined.
I'm just a restless woman.
Okay, so what's restless mean?
You wanted to go visit Iceland?
No, no, no.
Always searching.
Been searching every which way gonna find him.
Been searching.
What were you searching for?
I can't tell you, baby.
You couldn't handle it.
Does it start with the word letter C and end with the letter OCH?
Letter You're gonna think Sylvia's drunk.
I've been with Sylvia for the past three hours.
She's not had one sip of booze.
Let's say thank you to our sponsor BeardVet.
We've had the most incompetent Sales dude in the universe handling our sponsorship.
And we finally have some weirdo named Sean who's got like, I think he might have dreads.
I don't know.
He coached my daughter on her microcorg.
That's the kind of, he's actually one of my people and my people are nuts.
They have like anal tattoos and they say dumb shit.
But he's one of me and he's taken over the sales of the show.
So he's going through all of the old clients, seeing who our old sales dude ripped off, making sure they get paid back, blah, blah, blah.
And BeardVet has stuck as the first to come back.
It's funny how hard it is to be a sponsor of this show because we are wildly incompetent.
We're the creative types.
So we're not good at this, like, business stuff.
So when you see a sponsor on this show, they had to fight tooth and nail to get a hold of us and finally figure it out.
BeardVet did.
BeardVet would like to thank the Get Off My Lawn viewers for the tremendous volume of orders over Christmas.
That's the other thing too, like we're terrible to get a hold of, but once you get in here, like Need of Fashions, Baby Monsters power Need of Fashions.
They are 60% of the clients at Need of Fashions.
BeardVet, it's probably similar.
If you don't know, BeardVet is an American veteran-owned company specializing in beard grooming products, coffee, apparel, and so much more.
Enter promo code GAVIN for 15% off.
Free shipping on purchases over $40.
They have a wonderful new sale, the New Year's Sale!
All 2.5 pound bags of coffee are just 20 bucks, $19.99, for a limited time only.
That's an amazing deal for great coffee.
You'd pay more for any other coffee of its quality.
With BeardVet, you know you are buying from a company that goes out on a limb to support free speech.
They also have a deal on two 24-packs of Grunt cups.
That's like the Keurig cups they make, that you stick into your machine and they work.
They work it in a cake up machine, it's so convenient and easy that John Fetterman could use it with great ease.
Did you see John Fetterman being inaugurated?
Yeah.
He had no idea what was going on.
He kept looking off to the right like his eyes were just constantly going to the right to the right to the right.
You know when we were young we we read about the monarchy and it was like little lord Fauntleroy and there'd be oh the king of England was 12 in the year 1510 and you were like wow that must have been fucking insane and you'd hear about inbreeding and all these fucking catastrophes and you'd go wow England in you know medieval times must have been such a mess.
That's the the impetus for fucking The Dragon Show.
We're here.
We have retards running the show.
They have amazing beer grooming products that you should take a look at, but did you know that they have spice rubs for meat?
They have BeardVet coffee spice rubs that will bring your steak, chicken, and whatever meat you love to an entirely new level.
Ryan, could you navigate these rubs?
They say at the end.
You know, I'm going to say yes.
Look at your hair.
What's wrong?
It is a new level of irritating.
Okay.
I'm Gavin McInnes.
I'm a guy, I host this show.
I'm a pretty unique dude.
Like I'm Scottish, Canadian, grew up in New York sort of recently.
Let's, let's take me out of it.
Matty O'Dell.
You're a dude.
That's me.
A Scottish dude who grew up in New Rochelle.
Yep.
What do you feel when you look at this man's fucking roadkill?
It's, uh, it's tough.
But... Tough.
Like, tough.
You can horse the water, you can't make him drink, but... I mean, I don't understand what's the endgame.
It's gonna get long.
Okay, what about today?
We're talking, we're asking Matty about what's happening today.
Me, personally, if I had that mop, I would put some kind of thing to keep it out of my face.
It's out of my face.
Yeah, it is this second because I started this discussion, but it was in your face 30 seconds ago.
Yeah.
Like I don't get, like, that's a popular with young kids.
Ex-MIPD cop.
He was a state trooper for a while.
Tim, don't, don't be, uh, don't think.
Just talk from the soul.
How do you feel when you see Ryan's hair?
Thank you.
It's beautiful!
It should be in his face.
- It's good, it's got volume, it's thick.
- Thank you.
- It's beautiful. - But it shouldn't be in his face.
- It should be in his face.
- Like your dad.
- It shows his eyes.
- I said in that video we were looking at.
- I could kick it back.
What does a man know?
A woman knows.
Okay, we'll get to a woman soon.
So that's Tim's point.
He has no problem with it, much like Maddie.
Just get it out of your fucking face.
I can kick it back.
And then let's move to a lady.
The lady, I would argue, the female voice of this entire show.
Sylvia, what do you think of his annoying hair?
I think his hair is drop-dead beautiful and he's got the sexiest eyes.
Thank you!
Has she ever seen me?
An incarcerated individual at San Bernardino County Sheriff's Department.
This call is not private.
It will be recorded and may be monitored.
If you believe this should be a private call, please hang up and follow facility instructions to register this number as a private number.
To accept this free call, press 1 to refuse to thank you for using Securus.
You may start the conversation now.
Mercedes, you're on the air!
Hi, Gavin.
Hi, how are you?
Well, you're in jail.
I'm as well as I possibly can be.
Yeah, that's a good way to say it.
Your case is coming up January 5th.
Yeah, tomorrow I go to court.
Tomorrow you go to court.
Is it possible there will be any resolution or they'll probably just delay it like they do.
Yeah, I mean, I think that's most likely.
I mean, I spoke with my attorney and, uh, I mean, it's, uh, you know, we're supposed to go to trial hopefully in the next month.
You know, in theory.
That's what we're pushing for.
What if you go to trial tomorrow morning, they say, yeah, this is a big misunderstanding.
You're free to go.
Sorry about that.
And then they just hand you back your jeans and your sneakers and your t-shirt.
Yeah.
I don't, you know, I don't know about that.
See, the thing is, cause even if they were to, let's say drop the charges, they have five years to pick it back up.
Oh my God.
Did you know that?
Yeah.
So even if they drop your case, they can just pick, So if you act too MAGA, because I'm convinced that your trial is based on your political beliefs, then they could punish you by bringing you back into court.
Absolutely.
And that's the whole, that's the bullshit matter of it.
So like basically what they can do is they can say, yeah, you know what?
We're going to drop your charges.
But guess what?
We still have five years to bring you back in.
Well, the good news is you being in prison has taught you a lot about the culture of the lower working classes in San Bernardino, California.
And you told me yesterday about these women who purposely do drugs when they're pregnant so they can have handicapped kids because they get more welfare.
Yes, that's true.
You get $5,000 a month if you have a disabled child.
So you want to have a disabled child.
I think I told you that I'm so... All of you that are celebrating the ban on abortion are stupid.
I'm telling you.
You guys don't get this.
I don't think you understand the culture that America has created.
They're breeding retards to get money from the government.
Yes, intentionally.
And guess what?
As long as you do it every two years, the money never stops.
That is amazing.
Do you know anyone in prison right now who's pregnant and trying to get wasted to help her chances of a handicapped child?
Well, no, but I know some that came in that way.
Wow.
Yeah.
This is a real thing.
And there's this belief that women wouldn't do that.
Oh, yeah, they do.
Absolutely.
Unbelievable.
All right, we gotta get back to the show.
Thank you for calling in, Mercedes.
Let's communicate again soon.
All right.
Love you guys.
Bye-bye.
Bye.
Wow.
She's been in jail for three and a half years awaiting trial.
That's not normal, is it, Matty?
No, not particularly normal.
It's not normal, but it does happen.
What's a normal amount of time from you robbed a bank to you are going to jail?
12 years.
For like a simple case, like 12 to 13 months.
Sylvie, you say 12 years.
12 years.
She means, she means sentence.
How do you, are you speaking, are you a sexist, Tim?
Huh?
Oh, because I'm correcting her?
Yeah.
You look, you look like A.I.
Me.
Artificial intelligence.
He's not an audio meme.
Ryan, is my mic working?
Yes.
Okay.
Sylvia, you seem to know more than Maddie on this subject.
Yeah, I do.
Maddie's only been in jail a few times.
I've had three husbands in prison.
117 years.
I trust Sylvia more than Maddie on this subject.
She's the expert.
I've had three husbands in prison.
There you go.
117 years.
So, Sylvia.
Yeah.
From robbing a bank to being told you gotta do eight years for robbing a bank, what's the general time spread?
No eight years, that's bullshit.
It's more like 12 to 15 years.
So to be clear, so you know what you just said, you get caught robbing a bank Today, in 2023, you will be sentenced in the year 2033, 2033, like 2035.
No, hell no.
Oh, OK.
That's what you just said.
You're going to get sentenced relatively quick.
Oh, OK.
So how quick?
Within the year, year and a half.
Oh, that sounds somewhat similar to what a gentleman named Matty O'Dell said 30 seconds ago.
There's a big difference between robbing a bank, which is a federal charge, and selling drugs.
World of difference in two different worlds, okay?
Got it.
There you have it.
Got it, Matty?
Got it.
And there's a world of difference between a rob and a big.
The difference between a what and a twat?
Okay.
So anyway, you guys know how this show works.
It's a very unique show.
It's unlike any other show during the week, which is dumb because we use this to showcase the network, which it doesn't showcase the network.
No other show is like this during the week.
Normally I have a suit on.
We go through the news very purposefully.
We explain why we think this is bullshit, why this is clown world, that kind of stuff.
This show isn't like that.
This is getting back in touch with the baby monsters who are people who subscribe.
I don't know why I use this free show to showcase the network.
It's dumb of me, but I'm a creative type.
I'm not good at business.
I like to get sales dudes to handle that kind of shit.
So what we do on this show is we have Manny O'Dell as the co-host regularly.
We occasionally are blessed with Tim Dickman, the ex NYPD cop and state trooper.
We are often blessed with Sylvia, whose health I think has improved drastically since we last saw her.
Right?
Right on.
It's the show that brought my health back.
I feel like we're going to get you like the next 10 Thursdays.
You're going to get me the next 10 what?
Thursdays.
Thursdays.
You're going to be... More than that.
Way more than 10.
Okay, 11.
No, no 11.
That's an unlucky number.
And we have several facets to this particular show.
We read letters that were sent in to the mailbag at, what's it called?
Mailbag at goml.com?
At censored.tv.
Mailbag at censored.tv?
Is that what we?
I got a quick question.
Hold on a sec there, babe.
Okay.
It is mailbag at censored.tv, so we answer those emails.
We have the Super Chat that Ryan just pulled up.
The Super Chat, you pay money to leave a message.
You can just leave any random message for five bucks.
If you leave a message for a hundred bucks, a hundred percent, we will read it.
And all of this money at the top goes to Max and John, who were two proud boys that did four years for beating up Antifa, even though Antifa started the fight.
So that pisses us off and we're trying to maintain some sort of justice here.
And then we also take calls, phone calls.
It took me four hours, three log comments, and 67,000 chat questions to figure out how to do this.
This year, I'm not sending $500 because I sent all my money to Joshua Cash.
You need a button for $250.
Now I have to do this 1,112 times, uh, two more times.
This is hard because I'm a boomer.
Think of the olds, damn it!
Okay.
Okay.
Here's my second print of $100.
Now I just have to type all of this stuff in one more time.
Get a $250 button, please.
We read those last week?
Yes.
I must have been drunk.
I did it!
Okay Mr. Gavin, he goes on.
Austin, rates are rising.
Ryan Gavin, share more research on your show.
And then Dickman, why do you think Kohlberger killed those people in Idaho?
Gavin Ryan, what's the best boxing combo for fighting off a knife attack?
He enjoys killing for the sake of killing.
Gavin, why do you stick the fuzz next to me?
Why do I stick the what next to you?
The ex-police next to me.
Oh, you don't like cops?
No comment.
Oh, shit.
Uh, Tim, I think it would be appropriate for you to leave.
No, I have the greatest respect from the Marinette Police.
They're like ambassadors of goodwill.
In general, do I like police?
Hell no.
I love them.
Do I respect them?
Yes.
What do you think of the State Police?
Can I give you a tip?
The State Police?
Arm your desires.
Attack him right now.
Punch him.
No.
No, I'm joking.
Punch him in the face.
Without police, it would be a wild jungle.
Look, he's all relaxed.
His hands are down.
Fucking get him.
Get him.
Huh?
Oh.
He's not going to fight back.
Get him?
Yeah.
Attack him.
And do what with him?
Punch him in the face.
No.
Never.
This is a season of love and mercy.
Okay.
You could get revenge on all the fucking pigs who fucked you over.
No, I leave revenge to the almighty God.
So you're saying Tim is going to hell?
Hell no!
- But Gavin, you're tempting pace. - I hate him too, Sylvia.
That's why he's there.
I keep putting him in dangerous situations so someone will hurt him eventually.
I got your back, Tim.
In my life, I tried to murder three, two people.
Whoa.
Three, two people.
Who did you try to murder?
That's six.
My mother and one of my ex-husbands.
Wait, you tried to murder your mother?
Yes.
How?
Strangle her.
What'd she do?
She provoked me.
In what sense?
Give us more detail.
I wanted to help her around the house and she wouldn't let me.
So it made me feel useless.
I got angry and I looked at Joker.
Did you put your fingers around her neck?
Fuckin' A. Whoa.
So you were trying to sweep.
She said, don't bother.
It's fine.
And you started to strangle her.
She didn't want me to be useful.
She enjoyed me being useless.
What a bitch.
And how did you, like, how did this strangling end?
My sister, my mother pulled my hands off her neck.
Cause my mother was physically stronger than me.
And my sister called the police.
And they stuck me in a nut factory for 18 months.
18 months you were in a nut factory.
Committed.
What was that called?
Planters?
Pilgrim State Hospital.
Where was that?
Out in Long Island.
What year was this?
I was 18.
18!
Did the black rock band invite you on tour when you were 18?
No, when I was 18, I went to Florida.
No, but you were 18, you saw a bunch of black rockers, I don't know what the band was called, maybe Deaths, and they said, yo man, you gotta come on tour with us.
And you're like, yes, no problem.
Oh, oh, oh yeah.
Yeah, they wanted, they In Manhattan, it was called the wagon wheel.
It was a night spot where you danced and drank, okay?
So I went from all the boroughs, the 18-year-old, 18 to 21, we'd go there and twist.
That was the time.
Let's twist again like we did last summer.
Let's twist again like we did last year.
Yeah, so when you say rock, I think of like, Motorhead, but you're talking about like, Rock and roll.
The 50s.
They had suits on and shit.
Doo-wop.
Doo-wop.
They're like, hey, I'm a rock and roll band.
I would do the twist.
Doo-wop.
Yeah, 61 years ago she was 18.
Right.
So why didn't you pursue that?
Why didn't you go on tour with them?
I said to my mother, I want to go, they want me as their dancer.
My mother said, they're all black men, they're all musicians, you'll be the youngest member of the team, and the only young female, they'll probably look to sex you up.
So I don't advise you to go.
I said, okay, Ma, I'll stay home or I'll go to Israel.
They came and interviewed me to live on a kibbutz in Israel.
My mother said, Sylvia, when you get, I'll pay you half pay it to Israel, but if you don't like it, I'm not paying your way back.
So I said, I'll stay in good old motherfucking New York.
And then tried to kill her mom.
And then you strangled her.
Yeah.
Can you show us the twist?
Did I what?
Can you show us the twist?
Of course.
Oh boy.
A little bit of a fatal attraction there.
Oh, holy smokes.
*music* I would like that behind me if I was in a black band.
Anyway, so that's what goes on on the couch.
And then we take calls.
Ten dollars a month to watch Censor.TV.
There's a million shows.
I don't think you should watch all of these shows.
If you pay ten dollars a month and you're like, I need more content.
You need to get a life.
It's probably what, like four hour, five hours a day?
I was too much of indecence.
You should not be watching this for five hours a day.
So don't worry.
When we started this, I was reluctant to say new content every day because it was just me and it was like an hour and a half a day.
But now it's hundreds of hours.
So and all the archives and everything.
So, yeah, be careful.
Enough.
Be careful what you wish for.
You know why Gavin is such a rarity?
Why?
I pulled you out of the archives from Egypt.
You're the only Irish Welsh Scotsman from Egypt.
Exactly.
Gavin was the one who told the Pharaoh, move the fuck over now or I'll tomb you.
They somehow reconciled me with their stupidity.
Anyway, so let's start taking some calls and then we will X the non-payers and go behind the paywall.
All right.
Well, this is all free.
Turn your Mikeys round and round.
It's time to get those callers down.
718-400-6959.
Thanks for calling thing, dude.
Yeah.
Is that London Bridges all fall down?
You're nothing but a big clown?
Hey!
Hey!
You are on the air.
I'm here to have a conversation.
This is a fucking loser.
You know, I'm here to learn, share, listen, understand why.
Hey, why does everyone get two things?
You have one thing.
Thank you for calling.
It was great hearing from you.
Bye bye!
Alright, next call.
We're back.
Thanks for calling.
That's a good jam.
Thanks for the memories.
Hello gays, female cops in my hometown this is called.
Uh, this is the first time police have shot a suspect in around 20 years in my yuppie white hometown of Saratoga Springs.
It's a female cop and she almost shoots her partner in the action.
But all I'm thinking is why did we put woman in gunfights to begin with?
Now, um, we're very pro-cop on this show.
We're pretty anti-female cop.
Can you be both?
I think so.
Oh, yes.
What do you think of female cops, Dickman?
I think they're great.
Um, you know, they have, they're good at doing investigations.
They're fine when they get promoted, but on the street?
Oh, hell, they're great on the street.
Have you ever had a female partner?
They got fire in their belly!
Yeah, I have.
So it's you and a female cop and you pull over some giant black dude who probably has a gun in the car.
You're shitting your pants because now you have two things to worry about.
You try not to do much when you have a female partner.
I didn't have a steady female partner.
You just lay low that night.
Really?
Think about what you'd think about!
Nothing against them.
They're great.
A lot of the investigators and the detectives, they do fine work.
I'm not talking about investigators.
I know, I just gotta at least say that.
But you're already done.
You're retired.
No one's gonna take your pension away.
I have female friends that are still cops.
Say it now.
Your female friends that are still cops suck.
What got in his way with female cops is his Methuselah beard.
Yeah.
I can't tell you how many cops I've talked to where they're like, I don't know, we would get to a situation and I could tell she was itching to prove herself.
So I'd be like, part of me would be like, okay, we got to calm her down.
and make sure she doesn't escalate this, escalate, that's a key word.
And then I also have this giant black dude with a gun in his car where I'm worried about my own life as I approach him and try to calm him down.
So you have two perps when you have a female partner. - The whole thing is the male cops escalate and the female police percolate. - Percolate?
Percolate?
They make coffee?
No, they boil, baby.
They boil and bubble.
So this is from a month ago.
We've got a woman, Trigger.
I don't even think they're Trigger happy.
They're fucking trigger freaking out Put the gun down!
Cut down! Cut the gun! Cut the gun!
Drop the gun!
She's delirious.
Drop the gun!
Drop the gun!
Oh!
I'm sorry.
Whoa!
Oh, whoa.
I mean, that seemed, did he have a gun?
I don't know.
I can't really see what's happening there.
That was a close call there when the guy ran in front.
But the way she screamed, like she's in frantic menopause.
That's a good name for a band.
We have calls.
They're piling up.
Alright, let's take a call.
- We have calls, they're piling up. - All right, let's take a call. - All right.
Hello?
Are you there?
Hello?
You take it slow.
You take it slow.
But controlling adrenaline is a uniquely male skill.
You take it slow so you don't blow.
That's right.
Brian Mcganuspants814.
Go ahead 814.
Hey guys, how's it going?
Yo.
Hey, so I got a really shitty Christmas present over the break.
What was it?
What'd you get, AIDS?
A cancer diagnosis.
Fuck.
Oh.
My joke became real.
I got a colon cancer diagnosis and it looks like we caught it in time, it didn't spread anywhere.
And they just have to determine whether they're just going to cut it out or send me to chemo first.
But I should be okay.
I'm a big fan.
My wife and I are big fans.
Part of our lives.
Positive thoughts my way.
I appreciate it.
Thanks for calling.
Let's do it, folks.
Positive vibes to that caller's anus.
Colon cancer sucks.
Cancer sucks.
Zoom in!
Positive anal vibes.
Gavin, you're too good at that.
What's up?
Well, that's what I do with my kids.
Every night, I do a force field.
You start at the feet, and you go... You learned that from your puppy dog.
And you go... At the end, by their neck.
It's a decompression.
That vacuum seals the force field to the body, and now they can move around at night and not worry about the force field, like, not working.
And it prevents monsters and bad dreams.
I'm tired.
Next call.
Next call.
I hereby give your colon a force field.
What's going on?
How you doing?
So I sent you an email trying to get married as a subject title.
So I'm trying to convince this 32 year old to marry me.
She lives in California.
I'm in Colorado.
I'm 27 and I just recently turned her into a baby monster.
So I was hoping You could give her some words to help her before she turns into a full spinster.
You want me to show these publicly, sir?
Can we show the pics?
I sent you two pics of us.
Yeah, can we show them?
Oh yeah, go ahead.
Okay.
Here's what you gotta do, dude.
Avoid democracy.
Just like we're getting married.
Oh, I tried.
I've said it.
Right.
So you get down on one knee, you give her the ring.
If she says no, you go, yeah, actually it's yes.
Put the ring on.
All right.
Just marry her, knock her up, like make the baby.
Stop.
The worst thing we ever did was listen to women.
Stop listening to them.
This is not up to her.
She doesn't have a voice.
She doesn't want, she doesn't want to have a choice.
If you want to hear her voice, I gave her your phone number in that email.
If you want to give her a call.
Okay, let's try it.
Here, I'll call her on this.
All right, so we have to drop you and then we'll call him.
Her, excuse me.
We're doing it.
Wait, let me call.
Okay.
She's 32.
I mean, dude, she should be happy.
She got a young buck.
27, five year difference.
Yeah, that's a big difference at that age.
32 is the end.
Are you calling her, Ryan?
Yep.
It rings silently, but we are calling her right now.
It rings silent.
Can I get a budge?
- Sure. - I had a great idea for a tattoo Did I tell you this?
Old school shitty like skull that looks like it was done in prison, right?
But there's a skinny fancy little baby snake that goes in and out of it, but it like breaks the seal of the frame of the old school prison.
Call has been forwarded to an automated.
I hate that.
I don't like losing.
Sir, we tried to call her.
I hate that.
I don't like losing.
Sir, we tried to call her.
Well, I told her to be ready for a call.
But hey, I'll let her know.
I'll tell her it's not an option anymore.
But Matty, thanks for joining my Facebook group, man.
Oh yeah, no problem.
Alright, thanks dude.
Bye.
Bye.
All right.
Have a good one, guys.
Thanks for calling.
I don't want to drink. - Wow.
Maybe water.
I wish I had Pepsi or Coke, but I don't.
Your call has been forwarded to an automated voice message system.
That sucked.
All right, next call.
All right.
All righty.
We got a fucking... Who do we got?
Hey, Gavin.
206.
Hey, man.
What's going on?
Hey, so this question's for Dickman and Matty.
Sure.
So, if there... Great, I'm gonna answer this.
Hypothetically, right, there is a home invasion, okay?
Well, it's kind of difficult if you shoot him in the back.
I'm not 100% of the law.
Is that home invader, excuse me, is that home owner fucked 10 times out of 10?
Like, is he just always screwed just because he shot the guy in the back?
Well, it's kind of difficult if you shoot him in the back.
I'm not 100% of the law.
I don't believe New York has a, I know it has the castle doctrine where the home is the only place where you don't have to retreat.
But if you shot him in the back, he was turning away from you so he didn't pose a threat.
That would be my understanding of it.
That homer is just always fucked.
Because I had a buddy of mine, a guy broke into his house and he beat him in the head with a bat and killed him and he got charged and went away for manslaughter.
Gotcha.
Yeah, kind of a no-win situation.
Yeah, it's a tough one.
Shooting him in the back is kind of tough.
Unless he had a weapon he was pointing at you as he was fleeing.
A lot of it has to do with the jurisdiction you're into.
Florida, stand your ground.
You might be able to get away with it in New York.
Yeah, Florida, stand your ground.
You're good.
Texas, you're good.
New York, I mean it does have the castle doctrine because any other time in New York if you carry a concealed weapon or it's your responsibility to flee and avoid the situation.
Except for in your home.
That's why they call it the Castle Dock.
Yeah, and you're in your home.
I mean it all it's all gonna come down to how you articulate what exactly what happened so before the cops that get there.
I remember when you take the pistol permit.
The guy goes make sure there's one story.
Yeah, yeah, you pulled the trigger and a guy turned to run.
It was all happened kind of all at once and you know the bullet hit him in the back.
I mean you got to articulate your story well.
Yeah, make sure there's one story.
Drag him into the house.
So you gotta have a good fictional story.
Have you ever been robbed in your home, Sylvia?
No, never.
Your home's never been robbed?
Oh, I had a roommate live with me rob me.
Okay.
I could have had him locked up, but the cops told... What about you, Dickman?
Has your home ever been robbed?
No.
Never in your life?
Not your parents' house?
Nothing?
No.
I live in the sticks.
What about you, Matty?
Has it ever been bigged?
Not any of my homes.
My mother's apartment was robbed once.
By who?
I don't know.
They never found out who.
I've been robbed a million times.
Your home?
When I was a kid, our home got broken into.
They opened the sliding door somehow.
They took like our VCR or some bullshit.
Drug addicts.
This is in the suburbs of Kanata, Ontario.
And then in Manhattan, when I lived in the Lower East Side on Ludlow above Max Fish, some Puerto Ricans came in through down the fire escape.
I guess I left the window open.
They came in there and they stole my stereo.
You know what they did?
They pulled all the pictures down off the walls and they went through all my ice cream, which was like two things, whatever.
People hide valuables.
Because the old Puerto Rican woman would hide their money behind pictures and in ice cream.
Yeah.
Lalo used to be a rough, rough area.
Yeah.
And when the cops came by, luckily I was smart enough to have apartment insurance, so everything was covered.
But when the cops came by, they're like, yeah, someone must have come down from the front.
And I go, let's stop saying someone.
It was a Puerto Rican junkie.
And they go, well, there's no evidence of that.
And that's kind of offensive.
Those are Puerto Ricans, Mrs. Conte.
They thought it was funny that I knew who it was.
And I'm like, they're looking in ice cream.
They're used to robbing Puerto Ricans, right?
If they're risking their lives to steal money, they're looking for money for heroin.
These are Puerto Rican junkies.
You're not going to find them either.
And the cop goes, you're right.
They were probably Puerto Rican junkies, and you're right, we're not going to find them, but know this.
This guy's going to keep doing this, and he's going to get caught, he's going to cross the wrong person, he's going to fuck up, and he's going to die.
The brown people are leaving!
We're so excited!
Go brown people, go!
Don't come home!
So he was like, you're going to get your revenge.
And there was a story around that time of this dude who was robbing apartments and he jumped, I don't know, from fire escape to fire escape in the Lower East Side.
He fucking fell dead covered in leaves.
They didn't find him until the smell got so bad.
They eventually found this bloated Puerto Rican junkie just like under a pile of leaves in those Those disgusting... In the Lower East Side, there's these sort of like... I guess it was built to be a little courtyard, and maybe it was one day, but it just became a place where people throw their garbage out.
So there's just piles of fucking disgusting garbage in someone's courtyard.
And it's like a 50 by 15 space.
So, did you not think that that's gonna start to stink, you fucking morons?
Well, look at the area.
What a literal garbage heap the Lower East Side is.
The Lower East Homicide.
I don't know.
My grandfather lived on the Lower East Side when he came to this country from Russia.
He never got robbed.
That was in 1900.
Literally.
About 1923.
Have you ever been robbed, Ryan?
Like home robbed?
No.
Never in your entire life has your property been broken into and anyone took anything.
That's correct.
That's the co-op in the Bronx.
Yes.
That's upstate New York.
It's an apartment building.
So it's hard to rob an apartment building.
No.
No?
I've had people go through my car in my driveway.
Yeah.
Leave the doors open.
Rightful for change.
Yeah, what a dumb thing to do.
I've had jackets stolen off bar seats.
I haven't locked my car in a while.
I'm like, please take this shit in there.
I got blankets.
They left the laptop.
They just look for change.
They left the laptop, my Oakley sunglasses.
Unbelievable.
My house growing up from 76 to I think 2014 was never locked.
Well, it had pitbulls in it.
Yeah, multiple.
No one's robbing pitbulls.
Those are thieves worst fears.
All right.
Um, that's enough free shit.
Let's get behind the paywall where we can swear and be rude.
We've had enough of you freeloaders.
This is out, I don't even know, do you put this on all the different podcast things?
I sure do.
You can get it on GabTV, Rumble, BitChute.
What about the audio?
Is the audio on like Apple TV?
Spotify.
Yep, Spotify, Apple Podcasts, fucking Lipson, whatever you need.
Anywhere that podcasts are, that's where we are.
Really?
Every single week?
Yep.
How do you do that?
You unload it to one spot and it unloads it to the other?
Yes, but via Lipson, but the videos are a little more complicated.
You have to go through and if you'll notice that the What's it called the the gab TV ones are only a half hour because that's the maximum That's the maximum time it takes.
How many views do they get?
yet.
We can check it out.
Think about it.
Oh, it seems like a total waste of time to me.
Really?
Quarter mil?
What the fuck are you people talking about over there?
We're talking about when I did the show Tinkerbell was still alive.
You miss Tinkerbell.
I'll always miss her.
My only consolation is I'll see her in heaven.
All dogs go to heaven.
Possibly.
Uh, I think Sylvia's two, the hardest things for her for 2022 were losing Tinkerbell and having a cigarette.
That's why I've switched to crack.
A crack in my head, a crack in the door.
So don't smoke and you'll get over Tinkerbell.
You got a new dog now.
That blind chihuahua.
What's her name?
Peewee.
Peewee's a boy.
He ain't no faggot.
Okay, sorry.
I don't mean to imply your blind chihuahua is a fag.
Alright folks, we're going behind the paywall now.
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