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June 19, 2018 - Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes
40:09
Ep 145 | No Fund Me! | Get Off My Lawn
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Wait, that was a remarkably offensive and politically incorrect song from the Forgotten Rebels.
The song is called Bomb the Boats.
I believe it's talking about the Cambodian boat people of the 80s.
Were they from Cambodia?
He since withdrew that statement and said, no, no, no, I heard some dumb racist jerk in a lineup at the grocery store.
And we'll end the show with that, by the way.
And I was paraphrasing his crazy mentality.
That's the Forgotten Rebels surviving the era of apologies.
I remember being a little kid, like a teenager, and hearing that song and thinking, that's really offensive and really cool.
But look up the lyrics to that.
It's really well written.
Canadians are smart.
They have a good education system, right?
They have the Canadian, the British education system.
So when you hear punk bands, the lyrics are pretty good.
Pull it up on the screen there.
I can't read that.
I'm blind.
There we go.
So they're commies.
I don't want them around, so let them drown.
Let's bomb the boats, feed the fish.
And then it goes, Gills peck flesh from rancid stiffs.
What does it say?
Gills peck flesh from rancid stiffs decaying on the deep blue sea.
Bits and pieces here and there.
Bomb them far from my country.
Good stuff.
Good stuff.
The reason I chose that song, of course, is because we have boats and boats of shark food going all over the Mediterranean.
Sharks are sitting there starving.
We could have feet.
By the way, and I said this on my podcast the other day.
Stop eating fish.
Fish is gross, okay?
All fish.
Shrimp, I can't believe you eat those insects.
Lobsters are just big cockroaches.
They're the cockroaches of the sea.
Shrimps are small ones.
Lobsters are big ones.
Gross, gross, gross.
There's bones in them.
What are you doing?
It's like Jim Gaffigan says, they came, would you like the fish when he's at the steakhouse?
And he goes, yeah, I'm going to forego the beef and go for something less good.
But anyway, big boat full of refugees.
All men, of course.
The myth of the babushka with the little child.
Ooh, I'm just looking for a place to plant more crops.
I just need, oh, that right there is fine.
Just a bit of that extra land you have sitting there.
Yeah, they don't go on welfare and stay in our cities.
No, they build and they help.
I was saying that to Anthony Kumi's girlfriend, who's a child, yesterday.
I'm like, she says new immigrants alone don't assimilate.
And I go, yeah, I'm done with that.
I don't want you to assimilate.
I want you to build.
Like, why are we settling for assimilation?
Since when is that an aspiration?
Ooh, I wish they would just not hate us.
Wouldn't that be great if they learned our language and drank Coca-Cola and ate a cheeseburger?
No, I want you to build something.
And I'm in Anthony's house, and he's a WAP, of course, so there's big Greek columns everywhere.
And I'm like, the Greeks came, they brought us columns.
You know, they brought architecture.
The Scots came, they brought their masonry.
All this big, beautiful stonework you see was the Scottish architects and the Irish laborers building stuff.
Don't just show up.
Bring me a new thing.
Like American culture, rock and roll is angry black slaves on the drums and angry Irish slaves on the guitar.
And they came together and made a new thing.
And so American culture is an amalgam of all kinds of contributions.
Jesus.
And no, I don't count lawn care and being a nanny as a contribution.
You're just making teenagers economically impotent.
And they sit on the couch for the rest of their lives.
Anyway, wow, that coffee's really got me cooking.
So a big boat full of refugees, and they show up in Italy and they go, hi, we're no longer shark food and we'd like to stay here and go on welfare and ruin your country.
And Italy has since become woke.
They committed Brexit.
Well, they haven't left the EU, but they have a right-wing party and they just said no.
And so the boat went to Spain.
And guess what the Italian government said when it arrived in Spain?
Ha ha, losers.
The Italian prime minister said he saw it as a victory.
Is he a prime minister or a president up there?
Also in the news, this is very important.
Some idiot has come up with glitter beer.
I want to make something crystal clear on this show.
Everyone who watches this show, everyone in the world, when I'm dictator, there's going to be like three beers.
Budweiser, Bud Light.
Maybe we'll have Miller, High Life.
There will be no craft beers.
Those will all be smashed in big kegs.
It'll be like Prohibition.
And glitter beer, well, I will start murdering people.
I will throw you from the helicopter if you even think of glitter beer.
And I'll have trackers.
I'll have microchips in everyone's mind.
And the second someone goes, I don't know, I might want to try it, sploosh, you die.
Glitter beer.
First of all, beer and booze is poison.
It's hot, rotten barley and oats.
The bourbon is rotten corn.
Vodka is Rotten potatoes.
We're going to a crack house basically to do drugs.
Don't pretty up my heroin.
Don't put strawberry in my cocaine.
I'm doing a drug to harm myself and I want it to be as pure and unscented as possible.
So I want my maker's mark on the rocks at best.
That's even kind of fruity.
And I'll drink that rotten corn.
Don't put glitter in it.
This is women.
Women don't want to drink booze because their bodies are temples and they make babies in them.
So they have to Trojan horse it in with a fruity drink with an umbrella and some glitter.
They're lying to their bodies to get the booze in.
We don't have to lie.
Our bodies are garbage.
Look at this thing.
It's just a joke.
I have a tattoo of an ass on my ass and that ass has a tattoo of an ass on its ass.
That's how sacred this temple is to me.
Glitter beer.
If you like glitter beer, turn off this show, cancel your subscription, I will pay you back.
That's not legally binding, is it?
Just kidding.
But we just had Father's Day.
Yes.
Before that, though, no, we'll get to that later.
We'll put the menstrual cup in with the cannibalism of the left because it just is another example of Trump derangement syndrome.
But this is also Trump derangement syndrome.
Donald Trump's son posts a pic of his kids.
And you know what?
The real beef with Donald Trump is, by the way, and this is why he won.
Despite his divorces, he represents, and I don't know why this is, but he represents a family man.
We see him with his sons and we go, that's what we need.
We need more families.
John Stossel was just tweeting on Father's Day that we had more fathers at home before the welfare state.
And I think Americans recognize that the real issue here is dads.
The real issue here is American families.
Blacks, yes, they are disproportionately represented in the crime stats.
They weren't committing those crimes back in the 30s, 40s, and 50s because dad was at home.
So no, it's not race in America.
It's dads in America.
We need more black families, more white families, more families intact.
And no, Mexicans aren't better at the family than white people.
They have more children out of wedlock than whites.
I don't know where they got this reputation of being these great family men.
So Donald Trump posts a picture of that, and there's a huge backlash, just like when Ivanka Trump had a picture holding her son and kissing him, she got attacked.
And the attack, of course, is because Trump is separating families.
I wish.
I wish Trump was separating more families.
I wish Trump was arresting more illegals.
He's an underachiever, I'm afraid.
Obama separated way more dads from their kids than Trump has.
So get on it, Trump.
Get separating.
And by the way, a lot of these Mexicans, they use children on purpose because it tends to lead to a catch and release.
So bring a kid with you.
Half the time, it's not even their own kids.
They will just bring someone else's kids, hoping it'll lead to a catch and release.
Well, no, we treat immigrants, illegal immigrants, the same way Haiti does, the same way Mexico does, the same way Zimbabwe does.
Every country in the world deports their illegals.
And in pretty much every country in the world, illegal immigration is a huge issue.
How unfortunate for these kids your dad hides in cages.
There's no Father's Day for them, unlike your little monsters.
That's what someone was saying to the Donald Trump Jr. picture.
You see what they really hate there?
They resent families.
They resent dads.
And I think it's because their dad wasn't around because they are the children of divorce.
A big part of the hatred of Donald Trump is anger at their own fathers for leaving them.
And I think that's kind of a justified anger.
I sympathize with liberals' motives.
I sympathize with what brought them here.
It's just when they get here, they have become a complete mess.
So I'm sorry that your dad sucked, but you suck even worse.
And that brings us, of course, to the woman who dumped her menstrual cup.
What the hell is a menstrual cup?
You can't use a tampon?
We invent these wonderful things for you, ladies.
And you go, no, thanks.
I'll just use the thing that you keep ketchup in.
So she sticks that on her vagina, fills it up, and then dumps it on a star, a Donald Trump star.
Who do you think he is?
Jesus Christ?
Like, you think you're blaspheming the Great Wall of Bethlehem or something?
Yeah, like, I understand throwing menstrual blood at, like, in, in, in the church where Jesus was born, throwing it on that.
They still have the stone there.
I went there in Bethlehem.
That's pretty blasphemous.
That would shock people.
It's just a star.
I don't even know if Donald Trump showed up to his own, whatever it was, christening, where they launched a star.
He probably didn't even push for it.
It was just a thing.
He was like, oh, thanks, whatever.
Also, if he was Hitler, wouldn't she be in jail right now?
Yeah, yeah.
But anyway, look at this big, fat, disgusting pig who dumps her menstrual blood.
She's the one in the middle there.
Good.
Keep going, lefties.
Keep getting Trump re-elected.
Keep being disgusting.
Keep sitting there with your saggy tits hanging out, smoking a cigarette and dumping menstrual blood everywhere.
It is the best possible thing you could do to get Trump re-elected.
Now, I have noticed with this Trump derangement syndrome, these people are cannibalizing themselves now.
They're eating each other.
One of my favorite examples of this is some gay dude.
He has a bumper sticker and it says, love Trump's hate.
Now, this is a joke Kumia used to always make.
He goes, yeah, I do love Trump's hate.
I love it.
And this guy, I think because the word hate is slightly less dark than Love Trump's, his TDS, his Trump derangement syndrome, just goes, love, Trump, and starts destroying the guy's windshield wipers.
Check out this video.
Okay, I just came out of my car from Meyer grocery store in St. Charles, Illinois.
Listen to that extra Jewish voice.
On the back of my car says, Love Trump's hate.
This is from the last presidential campaign.
I can't see hate.
I just see Love Trump's and then I go insane.
Again.
Actually, stop.
John.
The guy who saw that sticker is so insane that he didn't make it to the S of Trump's.
He went, Love Trump.
Like his eyes stopped at the P. Go ahead.
Trump.
I also have this.
Everyone's equal.
It says I'm against the law.
I'm very much against Donald Trump.
I came out of my car, to my car, to find this situation going on on my front.
Somebody had twisted the ends of my windshield wipers to the point where I could not repair them.
And I have to buy new ones.
And also this beautiful note that says, still love Trump.
This is St. Charles, Illinois, a quiet sibling.
Isn't that awesome?
See, they don't, I've used this analogy a few times, but say there was a Nazi skinhead rally, and they had a bunch of Nazi skinhead bands, and everyone there was a Nazi skinhead.
I promise you, there would be tons of fights at that rally, because that's what they do.
They're Nazi skinheads.
They like to fight.
They're bad news.
And the left is the exact same way.
They are rabid dogs.
So they're eventually going to start biting each other if they don't have enough prey.
They're like rats.
Rats end up eating rats.
And that's what they're doing here.
Have you heard this one?
The B in LGBT, by the way, there's many more letters.
I think it's up to like seven or eight.
But the B is offensive.
Now, I'm just going to sit back here and relax while you try to understand this because it took me, I'm going to say five minutes of staring before the penny dropped here.
I got time.
I'll wait.
You get it yet?
There are much more than two genders.
So to say you're bisexual, bi, of course, is Latin for two, that's offensive.
It should be LGPT, polysexual, polyamorous.
Bi is offensive to them.
By the way, bi is bull.
There's no such thing as bi.
Bi is a girl who makes out with another girl because it makes boys horny in college when everyone is at their peak.
There's no bi 45-year-olds when everyone's ugly.
Everyone focuses.
So let's just, while we're dropping the B, let's drop the T in the Q. It's LG, lesbians and gays.
You guys, you are associating with mentally ill people.
Just take the LG and go do your own thing and let these nuts fight amongst themselves.
Speaking of which, this is my favorite one, possibly ever.
This might be my favorite cannibalism of the left ever done because it involves two gay dudes.
And gays aren't usually this annoying.
But so there's this guy who does his mom.
You know, John Roberts on Bob's Burgers, the mom on Bob's Burgers?
The reason he got that gig is because he had a viral video that was him doing his mom.
The tree.
Oh my God, the tree.
His mom's from Long Island.
And so he does an imitation of her.
Oh, I love the Christmas tree.
It's beautiful.
And he's good at it.
And a lot of gay dudes are into doing their mom because they probably hang out with her an inordinate amount of time.
So this guy does his, I assume his mom or his aunt or his Philly mom.
And her name is Mary Pat, something like that.
So let's check.
This is this character, comedy character he does.
She loves her dog.
Oh, hey, you guys.
You just got to do it.
Mary Pat here.
And I'm not very happy today, and here's why.
You guys know where I wanted to be today?
In Philly at the Eagles Parade.
Guess where I was?
Eaggles Parade.
Stuck at Acami on Morton Avenue in Folsom, where I work.
Okay, this isn't good.
Because apparently.
If you're going to do a character like that and you're going to look that ridiculous, the character has to be totally over the top.
Like, that woman he's doing, seems all right.
I'd like to hang out with her.
You know what I mean?
Like, she seems like a nice lady to have a beer with.
Hey, you skies.
Hi, Aunt Pat.
Like, when you're doing a character, it should be someone that's Andrew Dice Claire.
You go, that would be weird to hang out with her.
Anyway, here's where it gets good.
You ready for this?
A trans person found that character offensive, so he was forced to stop doing his routine and leave the stage and leave the venue.
Win-win coffee where everyone loses.
Yes, that is the name of the cafe.
Look at the person who was offended.
It's a lesbian.
You ready for this?
Look at that lesbian, right?
Guess what?
That's a dude.
Scroll all the way down.
He has a GoFundMe thing.
There he is.
That's a male lesbian.
No, you do not have to check your speakers.
That is a thing now.
Male lesbians.
You know who else is a male lesbian?
Who has two thumbs and is a male lesbian?
This guy.
What the hell is a male lesbian?
You like to go down on girls more often than straight men?
You're like, it's like a lesbian with a built-in strap on.
How convenient.
I have my own dildo connected to my body that gets turgid when I'm sexually aroused.
That world's handiest lesbian.
No, you're an ugly man with short hair, with ridiculous cartoonish bangs.
So anyway, that male lesbian decided he was offended by Mary Pat and they are happy to oblige.
Look, guys, if you are in a company that has an HR department, here's what you do.
And you're worried about losing your job.
You get a black friend, you bring him into the HR office, holding hands, and you say, look, I trust you.
You're smart.
I'm in the closet.
Well, I'm not, but my boyfriend here is.
And he's Caribbean.
And if he finds out, he'll lose his job.
He'll lose his family.
So I want to make sure everything is sort of kept quiet here at work.
Is that cool?
I thought I'd tell you about it because you're so smart.
You give him a few compliments, right?
That will put a perpetual force field around you.
You also sort of hint that if you were to get outed, you'd be forced to sue the company because you'd need monetary compensation because you will have ruined our lives and maybe our marriage.
We're married, by the way.
We had a special civil union that you can't disprove.
You now have a perfect force field around you.
You can never be fired.
Every time, Like the HR sees you, you can sort of wink at them, like that's our little secret.
Then you go, but then everyone will think I'm gay at work.
Who cares?
You shouldn't be screwing anyone at work anyway.
Don't have sex with anyone you work with.
It gets weird when you dump them, and then she's there working on a project with you, like, hello, Gavin.
I guess we're stuck together on this.
And you're going, oh, Jesus, what have I done?
Only idiots have sex with their co-workers.
So I highly recommend that.
And it works on this guy.
I'm a male lesbian.
Get her out of here.
Sure.
That woman with the beard, this lesbian with the penis wants you out of here.
What a disgusting mess they have.
All right.
So those are my favorite cannibalisms of the left that happened this weekend.
I also want to talk about this, and it's sort of all part of the same weak men, just terrible society.
This lack of tough guys.
An Uber driver picks up a drunk chick.
That's your job, dude.
She's abusive.
Yeah, that's what drunk women are.
Like, I told you earlier, they're not supposed to be drunk.
So she gets drunk.
She's a little bit belligerent.
And by the way, well, just watch the video.
Check this out.
Just want to apologize for my language.
A prosecutor is in tears today as she apologizes for the Uber meltdown that got her fired.
Oh, my God.
You're an idiot.
You're a legitimate.
By the way, just pause it here.
I've looked this up, and I'm not saying this for sure, but I think this Twitter follower is a guy named Sean Platte A or something.
There's his Twitter page.
He appears to be a male model who is not paying his bills.
He has to become an Uber driver.
In other words, there's a lot of evidence that A, that's the guy, the Twitter guy I found, and B, that he actually is an imbecile.
I mean, you don't get much stupider than male model, right?
They did a whole movie about it called Zoolander.
So so far, she's been perfectly accurate.
Go ahead.
Jody Warner lost it when an Uber driver asked her to get out of his car.
Ma'am, I ended the ride and I asked you politely to step out of the car.
No, you ended the ride, not at my house.
You think I'm gonna get out on a side street?
No.
The driver, Sean Platt, recorded the meltdown on his does he not look like an idiot?
He says 32-year-old Warner was drunk when she climbed into his Uber.
By the way, a beautiful young lady at three in the morning, she shouldn't be dropped off on some random side street.
He put her in jeopardy.
Why is she apologizing?
What route she wanted me to take?
So I said, should I take a left?
Should I take a right?
And then she became angry, said, why couldn't I follow the expletive GPS?
He pulled over and asked her to get out, which she refused.
She used the expletive?
I'm asking you.
Now I'm pissed off.
Either drop me off at my house or we'll wait for the cops.
Yeah.
I want to go home so badly, but you're so stupid.
I want the cops to come so that they can you up.
All right, that's rude.
Ma'am, please.
No, ma'am, please.
I'm an assistant district attorney.
There's no excuse for anyone to talk the way that I did.
Oh, Jesus.
But there is some more context.
Sean Platt, if you're out there, you're a douche.
And for the record, I'm always on the side of the guy yelling.
Like, I was skiing recently, a few months ago, and this 14-year-old goes careening into this guy.
He's about 35.
He does a 360, the guy.
He gets clipped on his boots so hard.
He goes up in the air and his feet over, what's it called?
Over tea kettle?
Completely flipped.
And so he yells at the guy.
He goes, what the F is your problem?
He kicks the kid and everyone's going, hey, hey, hey, relax, relax.
Take it easy.
It's like, no, don't take it easy.
This kid's, he's just a kid.
No, he's not just a kid.
He's 14.
Two generations ago, 14, you'd move from Sicily and go to America and start a barbershop in the Bronx when you were 14.
That's a man.
And by the way, this guy can't ski.
Where are his parents?
Like my kids have trouble skiing.
I'm always there to make sure they don't go off into the forest or making a guy do a 360.
And then the guy took his ski and whipped it down the stairs, the kids' ski.
And everyone was yelling at the guy.
And I'm like, I'm on this guy's side.
I'm always on the side of the guy yelling.
Or check out this video.
This guy, some kid's on his goddamn phone, and this guy swerves around him and goes onto a field and he starts screaming at the guy.
And everyone's first instinct is, it's just a kid, don't yell.
I'm going to get it.
I'm going to get it.
Isn't it amazing how much you can hate someone without even seeing him?
I even hate that he has a GoPro on his head.
You fucking watch buster!
Get up my fucking fucking head off!
You almost fucking killed me!
And you!
Alright, enough, you fucking ass!
You get your fucking ass over this!
And wake up!
You can't see the fucking sign!
Hey, dude!
Hey, you need to calm down.
He's Miles McInnes.
He's a character, I do.
You need to calm down on that kid, man.
Look at his hand.
I want to chop his hand off.
I want to move to a Middle Eastern country so I can start chopping people's hands off.
My kid, I almost didn't.
No, you don't need to calm down.
You need to calm up.
Come on, man.
Go ahead, call the car.
Call the car.
I got it all on video, dude.
What the f*** is going on?
I got it all on video.
You need to calm down.
What are you, a professional video?
I prefer to kill him.
You can see me on video.
I almost f ⁇ ed.
I'm not yelling at this kid.
If there's a time to yell, it's when some kid is not paying attention and almost kills two people, including himself.
When are you allowed to yell if you can't yell then?
It's into the dictionary under when it's time to yell, when someone almost gets you killed with their own stupid negligence.
God, what is going on with society?
Patriarchs yell.
Dads get mad.
And ladies, you stop yelling.
It seems like the only ones yelling and throwing down and getting tough are women.
Ladies, stop fighting.
You're not good at it.
These self-defense videos?
Actually, let's play one.
I want to do a segment right now To talk about women's self-defense and how ridiculous all these stupid moves are where you throw down and you hit him in the balls and you take his knife and you flip him over your head.
Ladies, you're not strong enough to do that.
Yo, ladies, what's up?
My name is Gav.
As you can see, I'm a badass fighter, and I'm here to show you some basic moves you can do if some giant guy who's super lazy and doesn't really want to rape you tries to rape you.
The first thing, the most common one is he comes at you with a gun, you grab the outside of his hand, and you twist it around, and then you stand on that, and then you kick him in the balls, and then you shove him.
Now, one of the best ways to do that is to have rock and roll music playing really loud, and to do it super fast.
Lots of hitting down and stuff.
Check it out.
Yeah.
Flip him.
Elbow him.
Knee him in the stomach.
Grab his gun.
Is she grabbing a gun?
No, she's just getting loose.
Yeah, point your elbow up.
And then slice.
Use your arm as a knife.
Oh yeah?
In your dreams.
Just pause it for a sec here.
No, let's not pause it.
Keep going.
I don't want to break the fourth wall.
I don't know when I leave character.
What is all this stuff?
Swing hips to side?
And the fist to the wall?
I mean, it is probably a good idea to go by this face.
It's the number one rule of self-defense.
Scream!
Scream as loud as you can!
Need help!
And ideally, have a gun in your person and shoot him in his face.
Bring the whole body to the office, it's like, I am convinced that these things that these women make up, all these moves, are just sort of made up by someone who's never been in a fight.
Like, what is this?
Squeeze elbows to protect your face.
Go under the arm, and up to the right.
You're never gonna pull that off.
Just, that's enough.
Ladies, I've been in about a dozen fights.
They are a total roll of the dice.
This whole idea of you grabbing this part and twisting that, you're just trying to stay alive.
Boxing, fighting, is like playing pool while someone throws bowling balls at you and trying to get it.
Like even punching a person in a face is a major challenge.
The face is moving all over the place.
Your adrenaline's pounding.
Getting a perfect is very rare.
Even in boxing, even in the ring, in sparring, you're always missing.
That's why they practice with a double end bag going.
The idea of you grabbing a certain part of his body is not going to happen.
All of this self-defense crap that these women take is not making them safer.
It's making them less safe because it's convincing them that there's some sort of ninjas and there's some sort of secret sweet spots where you can just and kill him.
You're not going to do it.
Check out this other video where these MMA guys, they try to recreate some of these crazy rock and roll moves.
Hi, this is Ramsey Dewey at the JX Fight Club.
I think we're going to be able to do it.
I'm going to have my students nils.
And today we are going to try to get some techniques from a self-defense video.
By the way, can you just pause it here?
This is a certain type of dude who was a nerd who got picked on in high school.
And then he learned MMA so he could fight.
And then he kept going and going.
And now he's a murderer, but he still has that nerd in him.
So he says, hey, my name is Randy, and this is my guide here.
We're going to practice some MMA.
And I still like Spider-Man, obviously.
I'm still involved in the comic book arts, but I could also rip your eyes out with my toes.
It's a weird combination of badass murderer and nerd.
I've hung out with these guys.
They have all kinds of knife techniques that they could sever all your tendons with.
Okay, so let's go ahead there, Indian from the reservation on Ukdayuktuk.
And we're really excited to see how these techniques work against a resisting opponent.
All right, here we go.
What's up, guys?
My name is Lena Marty here with Rip Fitness to teach you guys a few moves on self-defense.
So she's like a slightly masculine, super hot chick.
You know, she has a bit of testosterone.
She probably played touch football in high school.
And she's got this demeanor where she's like the badass.
And I swear to God, all of these women's self-defense videos are the same.
It's the tomboy who, I don't know, she's the big sister and had a bunch of little brothers or something.
And it gave her this sort of dude ethos.
But all of these moves they show are dance moves.
She's showing you a form of dance called self-defense.
You can't defend yourself with this dance.
It's just a thing you do to feel tough at the gym.
Go ahead.
So you want to block?
Do you want to kick him away as you roll?
What?
Look how weak you have to be as a man for these things to work.
It's for lazy rapists who don't really want to be there.
If you get attacked by an apathetic racist, I mean rapist and racist, who just wants to go home and isn't really into it, if you're really unattractive and this guy was forced to rape you as a dare, but he really doesn't want to be there, try these moves.
Push on his knee and go skidding across the floor like you're on a slipping slide.
And then he will immediately fall down.
It's like movies where they go and the guys all just go, oh, I've been instantly knocked out.
But check out Spider Nerd here dealing with his Ukrainian counterpart.
I can't hear it.
Wait, you're supposed to just scooch along the floor.
What's going on here?
What's happening?
Scooch!
Scooch!
Why aren't you scooching?
That's exhausting.
Let's try Again.
Here we go.
And we gotta get out of the way here.
Ready to scooch?
Scooch it up.
Scoochie.
Scooch.
Boom.
Wrist hold.
Kind of tuck really fast.
Mirror your hands.
You're gonna grab underneath them.
You're gonna rotate.
This is my favorite thing.
And men are guilty of this too.
When they like, crab McGraw, that is really thing.
That's different.
That has valid information in it.
But most of Crab McGraw is just like in the eyes and bite the face.
All this crap about like, grab his left pinky.
Imagine you, you, you know that video where they're running down a hill, a cheese hill in Britain.
There was a competition and you could win a big round of cheese.
It's like a 5,000-year-old thing where they run down a hill and they keep falling.
Imagine you are running down a hill like that with bumps and flips and you have to recite the Star-Spangled Banner.
Like there's no, maybe if you were the flash and everything was in slow motion, you could start selecting individual parts of it.
It's madness.
Fighting is like being in a storm.
You have no idea what's going on.
You just, half the time you don't even know who won till after.
I thought I won the fight with the dog poo guy and I woke up with a black eye the next day.
And you're gonna bring this hip forward and you're gonna power out this way.
There we go.
And Lazy Rapist dies.
Okay, we're gonna try the wrist holding.
Okay, we're gonna try the wrist thing.
Imagine I'm Spider-Man.
Yeah, that's the other thing.
All of these wrist twist things imply that you're made of grease.
That didn't work out too well.
I mean, you're not slippery, sorry.
The opposite.
It implies you're made of stone, and you can just grab a wrist and you won't lose your grip.
It's a woman's grip.
You ever shake a woman's hand?
It feels like you're shaking hands with a bird's head.
There's nothing there.
Boom, boom.
That's the other thing about these guys.
They keep coming up with a better move in the middle of her dance move.
All right, let's do one more.
This is getting tedious.
Ladies, please don't get overconfident when you take these dumb dance moves.
Front choke.
You want to grab the wrists and you want to kind of push down.
You want to drive right knee, left knee, and knee.
Even in the demonstration, she doesn't go near the stomach.
Look, he goes, whoa.
Okay, we're going to attempt the defense against that two-handed rubber.
The physics of it make no sense.
I've never, how do you knee someone in the stomach?
I've seen it in Muay Thai, where they go like that when they're in a hold.
You can't reach the stomach.
Arms are longer than laps.
All right, I give up.
That's enough.
Fate to black.
Look, the reason I'm bringing all this up is because there's a general point here.
And the point is feminism has empowered these women way beyond their means.
And that makes women more vulnerable.
When you tell them that they can beat up a rapist and they walk around their Lululemons like they're ready to throw down, they end up getting the crap beaten out of them.
We see them at demonstrations all the time with Antifa saying, let's do this.
I'm going to F you up.
No, you're not.
You're going to get raped.
If a big guy comes out, you don't grab his wrist.
Grab your gun and shoot him.
Speaking of bomb the boats and feeding the fish, I am sick of these Filipinos.
Yes, that includes Michelle Malkin, the Filipina.
I am sick of these island people coming here and buying all our groceries.
You know what I mean?
It seems like our shelves look like Venezuela.
Everywhere you go, the stores are empty.
Bookstores, Walmart, clothing stores, because immigrants keep buying all our stuff.
Right?
Is that a reasonable argument?
I'm sure you've heard that a million times.
All these retailers and grocery store owners going, stop buying so much.
It reminds me of an episode of the show, Wife Swap.
My wife and I used to watch that a lot.
Before there were celebrities, it would just be like different couples.
And this woman comes, or maybe it was Super Nanny, actually.
This woman comes to fix the family.
And they come with this dumb construction paper thing where they draw a wheel and they write all the things they hate about their partner and in order of importance.
So the outside is sort of little things and the main inside is like, he beats the crap out of me.
That's a biggie.
But one of the things this woman wrote on her little construction wheel about obese with her husband was, he eats too much.
And it became a running joke with my wife and I because I understand like he's obese and he's dying, but the guy wasn't fat.
He just eats too much.
Who cares, as long as you're not unhealthy, how much you eat?
Who cares how much groceries, assuming it's not food stamps, and it doesn't look like food stamps in this case, they look like middle-class immigrants.
Who cares how much groceries immigrants legally buy with their own money?
What are you talking about, bigot?
This is some of the funniest bigotry I've ever seen.
Roll the tape.
Look at honey.
Licky, licky, licky, licky, licky.
Licky.
Just pause.
I want to break down her racism.
If that beef, Licky Licky, was like, me love you long time, if she's saying that Filipinas are prostitutes and she doesn't want them in the country because prostitutes shatter marriages, I kind of see the logic there.
I don't think it's true.
I don't think the Bay Area has a Filipina prostitution problem, but say that hypothetically it was.
I could see a grandma going, you know, my husband uses Filipina prostitutes.
I wish they weren't here.
I kind of get that.
That's got a semblance of logic to it, at least.
Keep going.
Yes, this is textbook racism.
Finally.
Look at all the groceries they buy.
That's the part I don't get.
Look at all the groceries they buy.
I would like to speak on behalf of all grocery store owners.
We advocate all buying.
Don't worry about our supply.
We will call the lettuce people.
We'll get more brought in tomorrow.
You cannot empty our shelves.
Please buy 10 full shopping carts of just tomatoes.
Don't worry, I'll get more tomatoes the next day.
You cannot buy too much of my stuff.
And tell you what, if it gets too crazy, I will build an extension.
That's what's called a grocery chain.
The more buying, the better.
And that goes for everyone in every business, by the way.
They buy all our groceries.
Steal, I understand.
It's wrong to steal.
That's why it's illegal.
So racist.
Oh, my God.
Got a family to feed.
So what?
Go back to your country.
He has no accent.
I just said that lying.
I have a family to feed.
Plus, you're in the Bay Area.
Isn't it like half Asian?
You must be exhausted if you hate all Asians.
Take our jobs.
Sure, there's an argument there.
Why are our groceries?
That's a new thing.
From now on, we hate people who buy too many groceries.
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