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April 23, 2018 - Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes
44:54
Get Off My Lawn #120 | Nightmare in the Sky
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That was Polly Styrene of X-ray Specs.
I was reading a punk children's book to my punk kids last night as a punk dad, and I saw she was being x-rayed in the book because she's in the band X-Ray Specs.
That's what you just heard, their big hit, No Bondage from probably 1977.
And go to the next slide there.
It says, does she have a germ?
Is she sick?
Or is she germ-free?
What can you see?
While they made that book in 2006, she was developing breast cancer.
She discovered it later and decided to go the herbal route where she died.
That's what punks do.
They reject mainstream traditionalism.
They don't need the man.
And then they die.
Ari up from the slits did the same thing with her breast cancer.
She went to Jamaica to have it treated herbally, as Bob Marley did.
Bob Marley didn't want his toe cut off because man cannot be separated from man, you know.
You need to keep your body together.
Okay, well, your toe has cancer, so it's going to metastasize and kill you.
All dead.
And it kind of got me thinking about how we need to protect the left from themselves.
They're so bad at anything but the patriarchy.
They go, move away, capitalism.
Move away, patriarchy.
Step aside.
Let us take over.
And you go, what do you got?
I got cream for my boobs.
You're dead.
I'm not going to touch my toes, man.
You're dead.
Or remember this Nancy Long?
She is insanely hot.
She's like an 8.8.
And she did a tweet a long time ago about toxic masculinity.
Cut to a few years later.
Yeah, there we go.
Toxic white masculinity.
I don't know what year that was.
But not long after, she writes an article for salon.
She's an academic.
I think she's Canadian.
Not long after, her immigrant Uber driver, by the way, immigrants, mass immigration, that's women voting, voting with their hearts' feelings.
They just want a place to stay.
They just want a place to crash.
So they bring in illegals and Muslims, and these Uber drivers end up killing people in New York, and they tried to kill her.
Luckily, there was some toxic masculinity there to save the day.
Good work, construction workers.
Good thing Nancy Long didn't get her way and abolish masculinity because it ended up saving her life.
You see what I'm screaming?
Now, while I bask in my own sexism, Nightmare in the Sky happened, and a woman named, what's her name here?
Jennifer Riordan was ripped out of the plane.
Southwest Airlines engine exploded.
It's yesterday's news, literally.
But I'm a prominent sexist, one of America's leading sexists.
I never give women a break.
And it turns out the pilot who had nerves of steel, Tammy Joe Schultz, is obviously a woo.
Sorry.
The pilot of this plane that was remarkably heroic, that saved the day, was clearly a very strong war vet.
And she, obviously, if it's a she, it's a woo woah.
Can't do it.
Also in the news, Starbucks.
Oh, before we get to Starbucks, though, Time Magazine, this is clearly run by women and liberals, have done their 100 most influential people.
And it really is a hell of a list.
Like Basha, Vagavi, Jacinda, Chadwick, Tarana Burke, Judy Chicago.
Who the f ⁇ is Judy Chicago?
Who are these people?
I maybe know like four of them.
And maybe two of those are influential.
They just went diversity first.
Let's get our female numbers up.
Try to keep it 50-50.
And then we'll just sort of ignore the rest, you know, the part about it being true.
That's the left in a nutshell, isn't it?
Check off all your boxes.
And when you're done making your diversity quotas, then maybe check out if any one of them are influential.
That's literally what they say with affirmative action, right?
Take all your applicants, and then take the best black or female applicant.
They could be illiterate.
They even have like Prince Harry and then Prince Harry's girlfriend.
She's on the list.
All right, there's a female astronaut, Peggy Witson.
That looks influential.
Although, is she influential or inspirational?
I don't think these people speak English.
We're going to talk about female astronauts in the show.
We're going to go on the streets, talk to New Yorkers.
I also really want to focus on cuck commercials, the way we're being treated in commercials, because it's still really bad.
Guy loses his $2,000 baseball and his wife enjoys it.
Look, I'm a pretty irritating husband to have.
My wife doesn't want my cherished possessions to be destroyed.
Not yet, anyway.
We're also going to talk to Sam Hyde, who did this.
He's probably the most controversial comedian in America.
So getting him on this family show and bleeping the swear words and the content will be a challenge.
But we've got a lot to talk about before we get to all of that stuff.
And I don't even know where to begin here.
Let's start with Starbucks still going strong.
Hey, black guys, when you go in to a Starbucks, you have to either order something or leave.
You can't make it as a meeting spot.
And I don't care what real estate deals you got set up.
Order or leave.
We all go through this.
There's a common myth I've noticed because I'm following the story very closely because I think it's insane.
But there's this myth that white people do that all the time.
No, white people get kicked out when they loiter.
All people get kicked out when they loiter.
If you refuse and keep refusing and keep refusing, eventually they call the cops.
It's got nothing to do with your race.
I saw a funny Twitter moment that said these guys are all over the news saying they felt they feared for their lives.
Black men arrested at Starbucks say they feared for their lives.
What?
This, by the way, this stupid mentality is what gets people killed because they get skittish around the cops and they start acting crazy.
Okay, go to this woman.
Talking to the police officer, what were you all saying to one another?
I was just trying to, you know, process the situation to myself at the time because I'm thinking about my family that I have.
My family?
So in that moment, I'm trying to process what's going on because it didn't really hit me what was going on, that it was real.
I had enough of them.
God, I hate them.
Who I love, of course, is Hotep Jesus.
Hotep is a black movement that is pretty pro-Trump, conservative.
Liberals hate them.
Call them anti-Semites and stuff.
But they are our people and they hate liberals.
And there's nothing liberals hate more than a pet that doesn't behave properly.
So this guy, Hotep Jesus, he thinks it would be funny to go into Starbucks and demand a coffee.
I meant to get to this yesterday.
We didn't get to it, did we, Dave?
No, we didn't.
Okay, let's check it out.
We got to go inside.
Get my free coffee.
Y'all ready?
Y'all ready?
all right so jump ahead to the chick Thank you.
How you doing?
Good, how are you?
All right, I heard y'all was racist, so I came to get my own free coffee.
I saw that.
Yeah, I heard you guys don't like black people.
So I wanted to get my Starbucks reparations voucher.
What's that?
It's not a real thing.
It's a real thing.
I mean, I'll give it to you.
Yeah, I saw that on my Twitter last night.
I was like, Yeah, I need a free coffee.
That's what I'm talking about.
This is justice.
All right.
So he gets his free coffee, and then I saw him.
He was asking, I think it was on Twitter or something.
He was like, look, all these other guys get famous.
I want to get on Fox News.
Boom, done.
He's on Laura Ingram.
Why did you do this?
I am sick and tired of liberals using black people and making us look like victims, making us look soft with their liberal dogma.
It is disgusting.
The other thing I hate about liberals is if you're a black man, as I am, in America, they will not hand you a microphone unless you follow the liberal narrative.
And I said, you know what?
I bet if I go into Starbucks and I follow a liberal narrative, I'll make the news.
All right, that's it.
And voila.
Voila.
It's voila, Hotep.
But this just keeps going and going.
I was on John Gibson's show yesterday talking about it.
And someone pranked called a random Starbucks as an executive and told them that they have to start giving out free coffee for two days to all people of color.
Now, this is just audio, but check it out.
Her location was the one chosen.
One of the ones chosen.
Oh, it was.
Yes.
Okay.
No, I did not know that.
Yeah, if a person of color is one of your customers, basically you offer him or her a beverage of their choice, but it's limited to one person per day.
And this will be ongoing for the next two days, and it ends Friday at 6 a.m.
Can you just pause it?
I don't like prank calls generally because they tend to just waste blue-collar working teenagers' time.
But this guy is great, and he knows the Starbucks jargon, like what's your employee number and all this stuff.
And the way he phrases it is funny.
And this is for the greater good.
This is good performance art, just like Hotep Jesus.
So I'm happy with this.
This is funny.
Okay.
Can we randomly select the person?
No, so any person of color can get one beverage of their choice once per day.
Oh.
Okay.
Gotcha.
So it sounds like you guys weren't familiar with that.
If you could communicate that to everyone else, all the other partners on staff today.
All right, that's enough.
You got the idea.
By the way, they shut down 8,000 stores so the employees can sort of ruminate on their own morality and understand the world better.
That's what Chick-fil-A does every Sunday.
They shut down all their stores so you can go to church and question your own morality.
But there's been a bit of backlash now with people in stores.
I think that since the Starbucks incident, employees are very reticent to tell African-American people of color to leave.
There was an incident at Aubon Pain where, I don't know, I'll leave it up to you, but I would think these people should probably be asked to leave.
What do you think?
Let's play it.
Let's play it.
I don't know.
What do you think?
They should probably go, right?
Or here was one at a local movie theater where the employees didn't want to get in trouble, so they allowed an argument to ferment.
By the way, there's a cop there.
What there's a coat there?
By the way, ladies in the hood, I've noticed hair pulling is the number one technique.
If you want to win a fight in the hood and you're a woman, wear a bathing cap.
All right, that's enough.
I know you think that joke was racist, and you're probably right.
But you know what real racism is?
Not jokes, not someone asking loiterers to leave.
Racism Is when Molotov cocktails are thrown into the bedrooms of black people so those black people will leave the neighborhood.
That's offensive.
Where is the media coverage on this?
You've got Mexican gangs, oh, that's why, admitting that they threw firebombs through windows trying to kill children.
They're not just beating up like a black dad saying, get out of the neighborhood, black man.
They are murdering children in order to ethnically cleanse their neighborhoods.
And it's working.
Compton is no longer NWA's hangout.
It is now MS-13's hangout.
It was a miracle that no one was injured in these racially motivated attacks, Hannah said.
She's the woman in the photograph, I believe.
These defendants have admitted their goal was to drive African Americans out of this housing facility.
This simply will not be tolerated, and we will take any and all steps to prevent this.
Blah, blah, blah.
Civil rights of a person who lives in the United States.
So while the media class pontificates about someone using the wrong terminology or acting improperly to someone who was loitering at a goddamn coffee shop, there are black people being murdered.
But that doesn't fit the convenient narrative, so it's ignored.
Well, f ⁇ you.
How are we doing for time, Dave?
We don't have much.
Oh, we're about 14 minutes or anything.
Okay, we got to move.
This is old news now.
Randa Jar, the woman who was gloating over Barbara Bush's death, I was hypocritical about it.
I said I want her fired, but not Roger Stone.
I don't want Roger Stone to be persecuted for his anti-Barbar Bush remarks because I am now embracing hypocrisy.
They play dirty.
We play dirty.
But I just got to say, I'm sorry.
Look at her body.
This is the worst body I've ever seen.
You and I could eat fried chicken every day, all day, and we wouldn't develop this bizarre Michelin tube around our waist.
How did you do that?
She's not even that fat from the boobs up.
She's normal, and then she has this giant, bizarre, inflatable.
Have you ever seen a worse body?
Even that, like my 600-pound life, that's more proportional.
Anyway, I decided to throw that out there.
And because I know some of you were eating, I want to just throw a palate cleanser in there.
Olivia Munn was recently photographed leaving Eva Langoria's house.
Olivia Munn is like a gamer kind of a chick who used to do sort of Spike TV type stuff.
Can you believe this exquisite love Look at that goddess.
What an exquisite specimen.
I don't know which woman.
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, right?
That woman is the same as Rhonda Jar to some.
Wow.
Beauty exists, feminists.
I'm sorry.
Also in the news.
Oh my God, there's so much I got to get to here.
I did a podcast on education, and I was saying, let's just ban it.
Get the kids out of schools, get them in the forest playing.
I didn't know this, but this is a thing in Denmark.
Now it's very young ages.
I think this should go farther.
I think this should go to nine or 10 years old.
But it's called Forest Kindergarten.
And I've become a real crybaby recently.
Roseanne Barr made me cry.
Saw some military thing with the Boston Marathon.
I was sobbing.
And this even got me crying.
Kids playing with knives and climbing trees like they were born to do, getting wet, getting cold, and learning how to deal with it.
This is where our children should be from 9 to 3.30 every day from the age of 5 to 10.
Check it out.
Are you going to tell me this isn't as dangerous as it looks?
No, it's not dangerous.
The children have learned how to use the knives properly.
So it's not seen as some kind of weapon.
It's a tool for doing something.
Notice how standoffish they are.
I think many, many cultures like to wrap their children up in cottonwood.
I don't think that's about a lack of love here for children by their parents.
Oh my God, they're so cute.
They see it in a different way.
One of them is in a tree.
He's about 100 feet high.
There he is.
And if your trust He's like 100 feet in the air.
Matte, are you afraid of anything?
Hey, funny old.
All right, that's enough.
Folks at home, if this disturbs you, you're a bad parent.
You're doing something wrong.
What you just saw was good parenting.
And by the way, they talked to that whatever you want to call him, teacher monitor.
He said they've only driven a kid to the hospital once, and it was when a parent ran over his foot.
It's apparent to me that we're doing something wrong.
All right.
John Chambers.
I got some gossip for you.
I've been dying to tell.
I spoke to getting a gun in New York is a nightmare.
The guy I deal with is John Chambers, and he helped me with my concealed carry permit.
You got to see this guy.
He is in big trouble right now for bribing people with guns.
I mean, bribing people with gifts to get gun permits.
That's just life in New York.
Sorry.
It is my understanding that the man in the pink shirt, John Chambers, who's all over the news right now, who I've spoken to many times, is abroad.
Look at him.
It is my understanding.
I don't want to get sued here, so I'm being careful.
It is my understanding that that man has a vagina.
That is a woman walking around doing deals.
God knows who he has sex with.
I don't understand who's attracted to that.
I like big guys, fat kind of bearded guys with a nice strange taste, sir.
Good luck finding a mate.
All right, we're running low on time.
We got to hit the streets in New York here.
Let's start with Uganda.
They have recently banned oral sex.
Uganda is an endless fountain of laughs.
The way they deal with homosexuality and sexuality in general is a fountain of joy that just keeps on giving.
But the most recent one here is that the mouth is for the eating.
I love, by the way, the African accent.
I could listen to it all day.
I could listen to African boy talk about one day I went to ASDA And I got caught in ASDA.
Now I don't go back to ASDA.
Let's talk to the Ugandan president about oral sex.
Let me take this opportunity to warn our people publicly about the wrong practices indulged in and promoted by some of the outsiders.
One of them is what they call oral sex.
The mouth is for eating.
Okuria.
Okuria.
Cham cham.
The mouth is for eating, not for sex.
By the way, you can tell his language, his actual language, is more primitive than English because they call eating cham cham.
It's like the Aboriginal accent in Taiwan, the Taiwanese natives.
Their word for cat is meow.
That's how you tell your language is primitive.
But just to show you, if you haven't checked in in Uganda and their views on sexuality, you're missing out on a lot.
Check out.
First of all, how do they know?
How do you know someone performed fellatio?
Isn't that private?
Who'd you tell, hey, officer, I performed a blowjob yesterday.
What are you going to do about it?
Well, I'm going to arrest you because it is illegal in our country.
Your mouth is for the chom chom.
Why are you not eating crab cakes or dirt cakes?
All right, so check out this video.
This is how they discuss homosexuality.
Everyone, my name is Pastor Dr. Martin Semper.
I'm here in the capacity as the chairman of the National Task Force Against Homosexuality in Uganda.
Stop.
You see that poster behind him?
It says, Barack Obama, back off.
This is because Obama criticized them for their anti-gay views.
I believe it's the death penalty there for being gay.
But this guy is justifying their extreme views on homosexuality.
Check out his.
He's been looking at gay porn all week, and he's here to tell you about it.
We are making legislation to make sure that sodomy and homosexuality never sees the light of legality in this land of the Pal of Africa.
We have taken time to do a little research to know what homosexuals do in the privacy of their bedroom.
One of the things they do is called enolicking, where a man's energy is licked like this by the other person.
Like ice cream.
And then what happens?
Even poopu comes out.
The other poopu is out and then they eat the poo-poo.
The other one they do is they have this.
That's an old meme you can look up.
What kind of porn?
I'm not an aficionado on gay porn, but I would imagine eating feces is a very rare part of it.
This is a very raunchy show.
All right, we got to get started.
We're out of time.
Let's meander around New York City.
Let's talk about cuck mercials.
And then let's settle back down at the end of the show with our boy Sam.
How you doing?
Pretty good.
How are you?
Great.
You know, from far away, you look like you have a claw hand.
Like a what?
A claw hand, and you sort of talk out of the side of your mouth.
Yeah, well.
Is that a birth defect, or is that just the shape of your face?
That's a birth defect.
It's not that common, but there is like a...
It looks cool.
It doesn't matter to me, though.
Yeah, I like it.
It makes me special.
It makes you look kind of tough.
Yeah, well, thank you.
It's like an eye patch.
Like Sylvester Stallone.
He also has.
Yeah, yeah, that's where I got it from.
And is your hand normal?
Uh no.
Let me see.
No.
Why not?
No.
We can't see your hand?
No, do you?
Well, you're very gregarious.
You want to be interviewed.
You're very excited about attention.
Yet you want to control the terms of the attention.
Pretty much.
You don't want your handicap to dictate this interview.
Pretty much, although I don't mind that much, but I still rather not to reveal it.
I see.
Do you hide it when you talk to girls?
No.
I hide it really good so people can't see it.
Well, I noticed it.
Yeah, well.
Within the first second.
Well, that's because you're good.
I knew a guy who was missing a hand and he had like a DJ bag and he'd always keep his stubby hand in his DJ bag.
Uh-huh.
But it was distracting because you knew that he had no hand.
So you're like, why are you keeping that in your DJ bag?
I know that you don't have a hand.
I don't know why.
What's the name of the disorder?
I don't remember.
Ha ha ha ha ha ha.
Baby, try it more!
I wanna play ya!
Make sure...
Bye.
Belch.
Hi, I'm a man.
We're useless.
Look how dumb we are.
Oh my God.
Having to deal with us is a nightmare.
And our wives hate us because we're such a terrible pain in the ass.
And we're never romantic.
I think cuck commercials are made because women do most of the buying because men are busy at work.
And so they say, let's appeal to women.
What appeals to women?
Crapping on men.
I don't know why.
If I was to make a commercial that, or if I was to see a commercial that was meant to appeal to me, it wouldn't be all about how my wife is an idiot and she's human garbage and a pain in the ass.
I don't resent my wife.
I love my wife.
Why do these wives hate us so much?
Okay, so this is a commercial for Hyundai and it features a woman in outer space.
Hit it.
Romance.
Miss you.
you too.
I just love it.
Okay, stop.
So, I don't know why you can communicate with someone in outer space.
About 500 people have been to outer space.
Maybe 50 of those are women.
So 10% of astronauts are in outer space.
But if you watch movies and TV, oh my God, 60%.
There's been about 300 women in outer space.
The majority by far.
Like, you know that movie, Martian, where Matt Damon goes to Mars and he's stranded at the end.
They're trying to rescue him.
Who saves the day?
Abroad.
Look at her.
Gets in her little space chair.
I'll handle it.
He pulled me out of the movie by being unrealistic, by the way.
Or Sandra Bullock and Gravity.
It's just broads, broads, broads outer space.
And they're all hot, by the way.
Check out the women who have really been in outer space.
It's ironic that there's been about 50 because they're all fives.
They tend to be fives.
Anyway, so he contacts this woman in outer space.
And instead of saying, miss you, and what's outer space like, he goes, can you open the car?
And she's so bored of this moron.
So she goes, just, wow, and opens the car door.
Go ahead.
Thanks, babe.
Introducing.
Thanks, I don't know how to open my car.
Very funny.
Life on Earth just got a little more intelligent.
You catch that little dig at us at the end there?
Just got a little more intelligent.
Women are astronauts who from outer space open our car doors because we are Homer Simpson.
And this, by the way, I've done millions of videos about cuck merch.
See, I don't understand math, but they keep getting updated.
I keep finding new ones.
And every time I look at them, I think, why do you hate us so much?
Like when black people say they experience racism, they get mad.
When us dads experience husbandism, I don't think we get mad.
We just go, geez, what did I ever do to you?
Why do you hate me so much?
All right, this one has particular animosity, and she seems to think of her husband as someone who beats the crap out of her on a regular basis.
That's the vibe I get from this relationship.
Check it out.
Looks like a rain delay.
All right, stop, stop.
That man cave is between $60,000 and $100,000, depending on what you went for for quality.
This guy has money, and that's obviously not the living room.
That could be the basement or something.
So this guy's busted his ass over the years.
If he's that into baseball, he's likely working class.
And if a working class man has $60,000 to $100,000 to blow on a man cave, he's been busting his ass.
This man has provided for his family.
He's still married.
So what's your beef with him?
Are we supposed to resent this guy that he wasted all this money?
It's not the living room, clearly.
All right, go ahead.
Do you buy Geico?
15 minutes could save you 15% or more on car insurance.
So I guess you heard.
That Geico can save you money on car insurance?
Yeah.
Oh, no, not that.
Your 99 World Series ball?
Yeah.
Pause.
Look at her tone.
So the dog's eaten his 99 World Series ball that he clearly enjoys.
It's one of his most cherished things.
It's the Faberge egg of dudes.
And imagine holding your wife's Faberge egg that got shattered and going, yeah, your little stupid egg you got from Tiffany's.
It's f, bitch.
Why is she enjoying that his ball is destroyed?
It's just a ball.
It doesn't affect your life.
And it means a lot to the guy.
Why do you take so much joy in his baseball being eaten by his best friend?
Look at her.
I've got a hold of it.
It's toast.
It's toast, bitch.
Look at him.
Okay.
So now you've heard.
Geico saving people money on a car insurance.
Why does she want revenge?
Why does she take so much pleasure?
Why is his 99 World Series ball seen as some sort of equalizer?
Oh, good.
Now that's destroyed.
We're even because you, what, cheated on me, beat me, locked me in the basement until I was finished the laundry?
We're portrayed as Muslims in these car commercials, and we're not.
We're Christians.
We're sweeties.
Sam Hyde.
This is going to be a tough one.
Sam Hyde is a million different things.
He's a hilarious comedian, a performance artist.
He's a rabble-rouser.
And he was recently fired from Adult Swim because some annoying turd who calls himself Josh Bernstein decided that the show was racist because Sam Hyde likes Trump and isn't a liberal.
So he must be sneaking swastikas and secret white supremacist messages in the show.
He's not doing that.
He wasn't doing that.
But just the accusation is enough to get your show kicked off the air.
So his show was kicked off the air.
But that was nothing for Sam.
He is a human meme.
For example, every time there's a mass shooting, Sam Hyde appears as the shooter because 4chan loves him so much.
They just play pranks on the press.
You got CNN saying that he was part of the Texas shooting.
Check out this clip.
Do you know anything about the attacker?
We don't.
It was reported to me that he's actually not from this community.
Apparently, his name was released as Sam Hyde.
was the name I was given.
He's got...
He's got...
So since he's been banned, he's got a podcast called Hyde Wars.
It's making tons of money.
He's got this book out that I'll mention a hundred times during the show because I love it.
But talking to him is difficult because this is a guy totally uncensored, totally unhinged.
And I could only talk to him at 2 in the morning.
He's in Tokyo right now.
And I could only talk to him about some pretty intense stuff.
Actually, I'm introducing it too much.
I'm ruining the comedy.
I just don't want to get my show canceled by having him on.
So we'll see if it's possible to have the unleashed Sam Hyde on a family show like Get Off My Lawn.
Sam, are you there?
Hey, what's up, man?
I just logged in.
I'm in Tokyo, Japan.
I'm on tour.
What do you do on tour?
Well, my new routine is I do the same that I used to do, but I'm black now.
I'm a black guy.
I saw you on Instagram talking like that, and you sounded really authentic.
So you've become a black guy.
Well, I'm working.
I'm still in transition.
I'm thinking about becoming a black guy.
I don't know yet.
I mean, this is sort of an unprecedented thing.
I mean, there's Rachel Dolezall.
I don't know if there's any guy websessor, but it's still untruthed territory.
I don't know if I want to be fully black yet, but I'm thinking about it.
I don't think you have to be that serious about committing.
Like, look at these women that are transitioning to become men, and then they go, wait a minute, I want to have a baby.
So they stop taking their hormones.
They have a beard and everything.
Whoa, look at that.
Kombuchi.
And then they have a baby, and then they go back to being a man.
So it's not like you have to be black, 100% black from day one.
You can go back and forth a little bit at the beginning, I'm sure.
Well, at the beginning phase where I'm at right now, I do believe that maybe I can go back and forth.
my respect for the black community, my admiration for blacks in general, is such that if I were to undergo this shift, I wouldn't want to flip-flop.
I wouldn't want to have I want to commit 100% if I decide that's the move to make.
Would you do anything to your skin?
No.
So you'd just be a very light-skinned black man?
Yes.
Like Sean King?
Yes.
Would you start saying the N-word?
Yes, yes, yes, yes, a lot, a lot, yes.
Okay, I'm not trying to put words in your mouth, but is it possible that one of the reasons that you want to do this is because you've always wanted to say that word in a future?
Yes, that's one of the reasons.
Yes, yes.
All right.
Well, I wish you nothing but the best.
I hope now you're in Japan right now?
I'm in Tokyo, Japan.
I'm doing my tour.
They have a fascination for black people here, so I figure this is a good place to get started.
It's in Tokyo, Japan.
You obviously have to tell them you're black.
That's part of it, yes.
But I think they're going to get right on board.
I mean, the Japanese have this innate ability to understand sort of weird things, counterculture things.
They appreciate Vincent Gallo.
Vincent Gallo's big in Japan.
Yep.
And always will be.
What's that?
He always will be big in Japan.
Yes, and I think Black Hyde could be big in Japan as well.
Black Hyde.
I like it.
All right.
Well, I wish you nothing but the best, and please keep us posted on your transition.
So that was the end of that.
And then Sam insisted that we speak again.
This guy is weird and a genius.
I think all geniuses are weird, are they not?
He wanted to talk about a charity that he is doing, which is one of the more offensive charities.
In it, he appears to be, as a black man, he appears to be condoning the idea of violently beating other black men as a charity for a black man.
This is what you get, liberal left, when you tell people they can't do jokes.
You end up pushing the Overton window with far more offensive jokes than you could originally have ever asked for.
So let's check out my second conversation with the remarkably disturbed Mr. Sam Hyde.
Sam, are you there?
Hey, homie, what's good, bruh?
Oh, my God.
So it happened.
We spoke like 10 minutes ago, and you were thinking about making the transition, but it looks like it went down.
That's right.
That's right, homie.
And listen, Gavin, I want to use your platform right here to launch a very special charity auction event.
That's right.
It's the 2018 Beat a nigga ass contest.
It benefits the bald Haitian fund, children with cancer, ashy n ⁇ s everywhere, and kids who just can't seem to read and shit, and they trapped in the hood.
They struggling, homie.
It's like this: you go out there and you start beating a n ⁇ ass.
You're gonna get $100 in your goddamn motherfucking pocket just for doing something you did for free and shit.
That's right.
You gonna beat him ass.
You usually do that shit for free.
Make sure that n ⁇ leaking.
Make sure that n ⁇ ble.
Sleep that n ⁇ .
And you're gonna get $100 in your motherfucking pocket to benefit the bald Haitian fund, homie.
Black Hyde.
And see, we do it, the beginning of this, I do it with a charitable.
We're associated with, this is Huel.
Have you heard of Huel?
Huel is a meal replacement drink similar to Soylent, and they've partnered with Black Hyde.
And what we're doing is basically we're exploring this new black character, but with a charity twist.
It's a little bit racist.
I understand.
It's a little insensitive.
Sure.
But it is benefiting a charity.
You go out there, you beat it up gas, get it on video, and we're going to send you $100, and we're going to send $100 donation to the Bald Haitian Fund, courtesy of myself and Huel, USA, Huel Meal Replacement Drinks.
And it is a legitimate sponsorship.
So just wanted to make you aware of that.
Okay, it sounds pretty violent.
Well, you know, there's a lot of...
That's my logic here.
I don't know.
Okay.
Well, I guess we just inadvertently plugged it.
Best of luck, you know.
Why do bald Haitians need more money than Haitians?
Well, I think the reasoning there is that...
We lost you for a second.
Well, I had to check out what was going on over here.
The bald Haitians, have you ever seen pictures of these kids?
I mean, they're crazy.
The bald ones are the ones that look like the most dangerously impoverished.
I just feel the bald ones are the tear jerkers.
That's how we get people on board with the charity.
Maybe later we can go to the hair-headed ones at some point.
I'm caught up.
Okay, well, best of luck.
I hope it works out.
Thanks.
And a big thanks from me and from Huell for letting us use your platform to plug this charity.
Thanks, Gavin.
Thanks, man.
Cheers.
Peace.
So then Sam wants to talk again.
He calls back again.
And this is a different charity he wants to support as a black man in Tokyo.
And you'll notice, by the way, unlike Sean King and Rachel Dolozel, and like a lot of transgender people, he can hop back from black to white.
He's given himself that privilege.
So this is a second charity he's working on that appears to be advocating for violence against women where you beat a lady, you film it, send it to him, and then he will take the proceeds from that violence and send it to domestic abuse shelters.
What's up, homie?
How you doing?
I got a new charity to talk about.
It's like this, Gavin.
You ever see a bitch that need her motherfucking ass kick?
You ever see a bitch?
She being loud and shit.
She talking to her man.
This bitch, this is the type of bitch that needs to be smacked upside the head and shit.
You feel me?
The type of bitch that need to be knocked down a motherfucking flight of stairs, homie.
Well, guess what, player?
The 2018 beat a bitch ass, kick a bitch in the head, kick the bitch in the in the throw a bitch down the stairs, put a bitch to a motherfucking wall contest.
Brought to you by Omaze.com and Lululemon.
It's a new charity to benefit bad women's shelters.
All you got to do is this.
You got to go beat a bitch upside in the head, smack the bitch in the face, poke a bitch in the eyes, pull a nose up like that, punch a bitch in the mouth, break it, put a roll of quarters in your hand, break it, bust a bitch's teeth out.
You feel me, homie?
Just go out there and smack a bitch upside the motherfucking hand.
Put that sh ⁇ on video.
And our homies over at Lululemon.com and Omaze.com are going to hook you up with $100 million to benefit breast cancer and cancer in them bitches.
Ovarian cancer.
Excuse me, pardon me, homie.
You see what I'm saying?
It's like this.
Look, you go out there with the camera rolling and you start just hitting a bitch on the street.
Or hit your mama, hit your sister, hit your loved one, smack that bitch in the mouth, break the bust that bitch's teeth out.
Make sure that bitch sleeping.
Make sure that bitch leaking and sh ⁇ .
And you gonna get $100 motherfing dollars right here in a pair of Lululemon men gear.
Because Lululemon makes gear for men now.
You're gonna get hooked up, homie.
Omaz.com, Lululemon.
That's it.
Thank you again, Gavin, for letting me plug my charity and sh ⁇ , homie.
Okay.
I mean, this is a family show.
It's gonna be tough to beep all that out, I guess.
But thanks.
It's for a good cause.
It really, Lululemon was anxious to partner with me to benefit breast cancer and ovarian cancer.
So we're gonna do some very good things in 2018.
And a lot of this money is going to battered women's shelters.
You know how much they need it.
So let's get this done, Gavin.
I know you care.
I care.
All right, let's do it.
All right, man.
Thanks a lot.
Thanks, man.
Peace.
Peace.
So that's what happens when a conservative network has a family show and interviews a guy who was pushed to the fringe by politically correct nerds and reacts not with capitulation and apologies, but with way raunchier content.
It's hard to show it here, but we do our best.
And the moral of this story for folks who aren't interested in Sam Hyde or comedy is that capitulation and apologies don't do you any good and not compromising your art form can still be remarkably lucrative.
Sam Hyde is rich.
His podcast generates probably about $100,000 a year.
This book, which he self-published, and I highly recommend you do that, where he gets something like $30 per book, I believe, is making him and his friends a boatload of cash.
So the nerds got him fired.
They tried to banish him to the extremes.
And what happened?
He came back stronger than ever.
I'm not necessarily advocating the jokes he just did, the bits he just did.
This is not SNL writers doing a sketch on Get Off My Lawn.
This is us checking in on a guy who had been banished and discovering that he's doing better than ever.
Congratulations, Sam.
We like you more than a friend.
One!
So what do you say, Gumpadawan?
Who's better my Padawan?
You have been knighted.
This guy's so huge, he's dying.
You haven't been knighted!
Not since your master died to my blade!
You know, when you see guys this fat, you can see the human head sticking out of the fat, trying to be free.
More of attrition!
Out!
Just like the old days of the sick army!
Anger's not the way!
Die!
You know what's funny about that is the way he's talking, those men exist in the real world.
You don't have to be mythical about it.
They're called men in the military.
Even if you were a fencer or a bullfighter, you can talk like an aristocrat and fight people here on Earth.
It doesn't have to be a fantasy, but could this guy be farther from that?
Look at him lying in the grass.
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