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Feb. 6, 2018 - Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes

33:34

Get Off My Lawn #22 | I Used to Live in a Yuppie Building

To whine about gentrification and call it genocide is to be a giant cry baby that turns crime and degradation into some kind of sacred culture that must be preserved. That being said, living with yuppies is extremely irritating. They are spoiled brats who would rather watch a black handicapped woman die, than be seen as racist.

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	I used to live in a yuppie building.
	In the penthouse.
	Corner apartment.
	I was the king.
	I'm better than you.
	When you get in the elevator and you push 3, I push PH.
	Ha ha ha ha!
	I think I read once that people aren't necessarily happy when they're better than people.
	It's better when they're better than the people in their small circle.
	So say you make 40 grand a year, but everyone you know makes 20, you're happier.
	And to be totally honest with myself and you, Part of that influenced my decision to get the penthouse, because I thought, within that little building, I'll be king.
	But it didn't turn out like that.
	I didn't feel that way.
	A lot of them got on my nerves.
	A lot of them were good people, and I had some friends in the building.
	Some of them I were jealous of.
	Like, on the third floor, everyone was three.
	I guess that's the way they worked it out.
	Everyone was penthouse-aged on my floor, but the three-year-olds were on the third floor.
	So, there was about seven apartments on that floor, and they'd all have their doors open.
	And the kids would just run around.
	That's why I left Williamsburg, is because my kids weren't playing.
	Every day was a play date.
	Everything was monitored play.
	But if we'd had a floor where kids were just all the same age, then I would have stayed, probably.
	And been killed.
	When I walk around Williamsburg now, people gasp.
	I can't really go there anymore.
	I'm David Duke to them.
	It's like David Duke in Harlem is me going to Williamsburg.
	Which is ironic, because I created it.
	Along with my compatriots' advice, when we moved in to the warehouse of Triple Five Soul, Williamsburg was a dead zone.
	And then the do's and don'ts regularly being publicized created a subculture called hipsters, and the next thing you know, it was cool to move there, and it went from maybe three artists and a homosexual to the hot place to be.
	Now, when we opened a restaurant, we chose the Lower East Side, sorry, the East Village, because it was cheaper than Williamsburg.
	In many ways, Manhattan is now cheaper than Williamsburg.
	And yes, I did make a horse ton of money when I sold that apartment.
	But anyway... Yeah, Williamsburg... I knew another guy, another family, who were by the BQE, which meant that it was buttress with a big fence, so it was a dead end.
	And that also seemed bucolic.
	They would play soccer and stuff, and there's no traffic, obviously it's a dead end.
	And there was all kids the same age, and they'd have their skateboard just lying on the ground and stuff.
	That was cool.
	And that's worth staying.
	But if your kids can't hop on their bike and go to Darren Alberti's house, then don't live there.
	So we moved.
	And now that we're gone, I feel I can talk shit about my old building, my yuppie building.
	Yuppie buildings in New York City are mostly Europeans, European whites, with accents, Asians, Both these groups work in finance and lesbians.
	A smattering of gays.
	Lesbians work in a wide variety of occupations but they're very successful.
	I guess because they don't have to go home to kids.
	I know we're told women make 77 cents on the dollar.
	Lesbians don't seem to make less than men.
	They seem to be doing pretty well.
	But it's kind of an odd combination because the lesbians They have tattoos and hair and, like, spiky hair.
	They dress like, uh, like wiggers, really.
	They look like big, tall Justin Biebers.
	When he was, you know, ten years ago.
	With the sideways baseball hats and all that, and the fresh kicks.
	But they're also really into pit bulls.
	Which I never really understood.
	Now, Asians?
	What are Asians into?
	Little dogs.
	Expensive little purebreds.
	That's not a good combination.
	Because pitbulls eat little dogs.
	They eat little people, too.
	And they eat adults.
	No, that's the owners!
	Yeah, okay.
	Hey, pitbull owners, 100% of the pitbulls who bit someone who's in ER, you have the pitbull owner going, I don't know what's going on, he's never been like this before.
	You know, he was kind of panicking, and it was sketching her out.
	Yeah, it's his fault.
	But one time, This lesbian's pitbull figured out how to open the front door and he went down the hall and ate a dog.
	He ate a dog.
	And so in the lobby where there was this Asian woman sobbing and this lesbian looking very nervous, I think she had to move actually because her dog was a threat.
	And of course, she's not going to give up the dog.
	That's her baby.
	And this woman blubbering when her little dog got eaten.
	It was kind of hard not to laugh, I'm afraid.
	I don't have a lot of sympathy for dogs, sorry about that.
	That probably sounds pretty callous, but I know the dog meant a lot to her, but it didn't mean a lot to me.
	That was the other thing about these yuppies.
	They act like Tom Hanks in Big.
	They act like the world is their playground, and you care about their stupid lives, their dumb dogs, and their useless crap.
	So, like there was another time another dog was attacked by another lesbian spitball.
	I'm not talking about anecdotal cases here.
	I'm talking about general patterns in this building.
	It was down by the water in Williamsburg.
	So we could see over to the city.
	Great view.
	Empire State Building from bed.
	It was awesome.
	Um, but uh, this other one, the dog, it was, I don't know if it was like a Rottweiler or a Pitbull or whatever weird masculine gesture this lesbian was trying to make with her dog, but it attacked the living shit out of another tiny dog.
	And we had this sort of a message board, like group email thing, I don't know what to call it.
	Where you would put up notices and everyone would get the email.
	Users group.
	You could say, like, there's a light bulb burnt out on the stairway, or, does anyone want my garbage?
	I'll, I'll, I'm only charging $200.
	One of the mass emails was, as many of you know, Mr. Tigglesworth was attacked yesterday.
	We're currently pursuing charges, both in legal and civil court.
	He will live, we're told, but he's still got a lot of healing to do.
	Now the following pictures are not for the weak of heart, but I would be remiss if I were not to include them.
	And then he shows like 40 pictures of his dog being operated on, wearing the cone.
	Dude, I could not possibly care less.
	That your fucking dog has a boo-boo.
	I could not care less!
	And the idea that it's for the faint of heart.
	You know, someone, I'm not gonna name names, but a friend of mine who was in South Africa recently just sent me a picture of Africans eating children.
	Cannibals.
	That is the most disturbing video I've seen.
	That is not for the faint of heart.
	She doesn't know what to do with it, by the way.
	You can't put it on YouTube.
	What are you gonna do, put it in a movie?
	I mean, it would be too graphic for a horror movie if the bodies were fake.
	That's daunting.
	That's scary.
	Your stupid fucking dog getting attacked?
	I couldn't care less.
	And so another notice that we got once, they were shooting Men in Black 2.
	And because there's an old-timey diner near the building.
	And I thought it was awesome.
	You know, they had these big lights that were about 50 feet high that would shine down.
	So it was bright.
	But there's things called curtains, if that bothers you.
	And all along our street were these cars like the Ford Galaxy 1959.
	Back when cars didn't look like cough drops.
	These beautiful stunning cars with the shark fins.
	They sort of, they kind of cheat a bit with that movie.
	So the cars range from 1950 to 1970.
	I ended up looking up most of them.
	But every time I went outside, it was just so beautiful seeing these works of art.
	You know, when women weren't buying cars, and it wasn't about saving $7 in gas by being aerodynamic, and it was about having hard right angles and looking tough and cool.
	Oh, heaven!
	And then we get a message on the message board.
	Hey everyone.
	I don't know if you've noticed but that annoying light from the Men in Black 2 shoot.
	Here is your local alderman of film production in New York.
	You can contact him here to complain.
	You can also complain via 311 to the city about... And I look the guy up and he does videos for a living.
	Now, I'm already a contentious customer, so I don't need my kids, you know, being more tense.
	So I don't want to pick fights in our own home.
	But I was thinking, dude, what the- what are you doing?
	What's your problem?
	You're in- this is employing people.
	They're spending tons of money.
	They're generating income for themselves, for the city.
	You live in New York City, and Williamsburg, as far as I'm concerned, at least that part of it, is New York City.
	It's just over the water.
	It's not like Jersey, where it instantly becomes residential.
	Or Greenpoint, where it instantly becomes Poland.
	Williamsburg is just part of 14th Street that goes underwater for a little bit.
	So in New York City, you're discouraging people from making awesome, cool movies for kids?
	Fuck.
	You.
	You know, another time, I was, I'm the cheapest man alive, as you may have guessed, and I was walking outside, and I saw a sign, and it said, it was one of the, there used to be a clothing store there, but it shut down, like overnight, and all of a sudden they were selling sandwiches, and the prices were 50 cents, a dollar, and I was looking at it going, and looking at the soda pop, like a thing of Coke was 10 cents, and I'm looking at it going, finally, Finally, some reasonable prices in this area.
	That's all a sandwich should be.
	It's just bread and some cheap vegetables.
	And then I noticed some Model T Fords and realized, oh, this is the set of Boardwalk Empire.
	I'm looking at 1930s prices.
	You know, around the time of the Great Depression.
	Okay, that's when you know you're cheap.
	When you see the Great Depression in a movie set and you want to go in and buy one of the sandwiches because you think that's a good price.
	But John Glazer, the comedian, who, by the way, dumped me because of Trump, he lives in a yuppie building too, and we would send each other the notices.
	So I have them all saved.
	That's the beauty of email, right?
	And so I'm going to read you some of the group emails that were sent to people in the building.
	And, you know, for all the, what's it called?
	I want to say genocide, gentrification.
	And all the yuppie hate that you get from the left, it's self-hatred and I condemn it and I say gentrification brings down crime, shut up.
	But sometimes they have a point and these yuppies they hate are pretty bad.
	So these are in no particular order.
	Notary in building?
	Is the subject heading.
	We are looking to have numerous documents notarized this evening or on Saturday morning.
	Is anyone in the building a notary?
	Now a notary, as you know, is the person who can sign a document to make it valid and they have a little stamp they get.
	Lawyers are them.
	Pretty much all pharmacists.
	If you look up notary on your phone, especially in Williamsburg, Brooklyn, there's one every block.
	Every pharmacy there's a notary in there.
	But you are so Tom Hanks that you want to just do it from your living room.
	Shall I come down with my little stamp for you?
	Here's another one that's very typical.
	I have four Ikea Glenwhite barstools that I'm looking to sell.
	They retail for $80 each.
	I'm asking $40 each, or $70 for two.
	I have one of these barstools, by the way.
	And inevitably, in these pitches, they go back to the Ikea site, and they find the original, fresh, fancy one from the catalog.
	Look, there's an area in the basement in the parking garage by the elevators.
	Put your junk there.
	If no one picks it up, then it's garbage.
	You've already used it.
	You already had a good run with those chairs.
	You don't need to chisel us for $40, you cheap ass.
	We're in basically the Zurich of New York.
	A maker's mark is $12.
	That's like three drinks your stupid chair is.
	And, you know, I say kids are cheap, but in that culture, those yuppie cultures, it was expensive.
	In fact, when I got that, I noted that I'd just been to Philly on a little vacation, because my son at the time was obsessed with Benjamin Franklin.
	So the museum was a hundred bucks, left the car overnight, that was 75 bucks, dinner's a good 80 bucks.
	Why are these people constantly trying to gouge $10 here, $10 there?
	Oh, here's a doozy, here's one.
	Before I donate our UPPA baby stroller, I don't know what that means, probably a fancy kind, To charity, I wanted to see if anyone in the building could use a stroller.
	After a good cleanup of the fabric, it should be in good shape.
	Um, we're all rich in this building, lady.
	We don't want to risk, you know, a wheel coming off, or there being, you know, bed bugs on it or something.
	People, middle class and above, always want new baby seats.
	They don't want to find out, oh sorry, your child got hurled from their baby seat because apparently you got a used one that it had its structure compromised.
	You don't mess around with baby stuff when you can afford not to.
	I don't want your filthy, Effing baby stroller!
	Alright, I'm getting example exhaustion here.
	I'll just do one more.
	Uh, this was sent to me personally.
	And, uh, it was a parent support group and meditation.
	Okay.
	Uh, this evening will begin, uh, I think it's at someone's house, probably their loft.
	And, uh, it'll begin promptly at 6.30 with a group meditation led by blankety-blank name, who is, among other things, a healer, meditation instructor, and mom to blank in the orange class.
	My parents, my kids went to a yuppie private school where you were in the oranges and you didn't have Like you weren't in third grade, you were in the sixes, because you were six years old.
	Afterwards, Jay, who is backed by popular demand, will be mediating the support group portion of the night, which ends at 8 p.m.
	Do you want to murder these people?
	Or what?
	Oh, here's another one.
	My fr- good friend's looking for a two bedroom to rent.
	Yeah, that's- here's another one.
	My parents are visiting during the above dates, March 8th to 16th.
	I'm looking for an apartment, one or two bedroom, for them to stay in during that time.
	Should anyone already know they are leaving?
	I don't want your dad's nude Japanese ass on my mattress?
	What are you talking about?
	Is this a commune?
	You think I'm just gonna leave my apartment and... By the way, what kind of coincidence would it be if I happened to be leaving my apartment right when you were going?
	Absolutely not!
	No!
	Tell your parents to get a hotel!
	Or you give them your bed and sleep on an air mattress!
	That's not the way life works!
	You don't visit someone and then get to use the neighbor's house!
	Okay, last one.
	Last one.
	Our nanny Ella has been with us for a year and a half, and is truly the most hard-working, dedicated, reliable, and loving person we have ever had the pleasure to work with.
	We will be switching to live-in help, and strongly, STRONGLY encourage anyone looking for someone, or perhaps someone new, to consider her.
	She does everything for us.
	Picks up blank name, that's her son, from school, cooks all our meals, makes sure the house is clean, bathes, and puts him to bed.
	Can I underline that with a red pen, please?
	Takes him to classes and the playground.
	Runs our errands.
	Goes grocery shopping.
	Everything.
	I'm feeling honestly nauseous.
	She is looking for full-time work, but the hours are extremely flexible.
	Please get back to me if you're interested in passing in for Longville.
	I took all my willpower not to email back.
	Have you ever considered trying being a mother to your child for once?
	She bathes him and puts him to bed?
	You're at work all day.
	You can't bathe your child?
	That's one of the best things about being a parent is when you get their hair all soapy and you can make a mohawk or like spikes.
	Like rabbit ears.
	With the shampoo.
	You're cutting that out?
	Reading to your kid?
	Every child loves nothing more at bedtime than lying next to his mommy.
	She reads him two books.
	I'll often read books to him.
	And then snuggles with mom as he falls asleep.
	No, you're snuggling with Ella.
	It's revolting!
	And what's more revolting, as we've discussed on the show before, just to go off of the political tangent, is this idea that you're importing love.
	Does Ella have kids back in the third world where you stole her?
	Are you... Are we importing love?
	And not using our own love?
	Like, where is she?
	Is she at work?
	What is this woman doing while someone else is putting her child to bed?
	That's the other thing I think of working moms, too.
	Like, who is this woman, this random woman, who's playing with your kid at a park and growing up with him?
	Alright, sorry, I got too serious there.
	Um... Okay, so I'm gonna end with the best part of this whole thing.
	All yuppies, all upper middle class at the very least.
	You were poor if you were making a hundred grand a year in that building.
	And, uh, live-in nannies.
	Gross!
	In an apartment, no less.
	Um, that means she has one kid.
	Yeah.
	Ew, I bet the kid sleeps with the nanny.
	He's over there in a cot.
	How?
	That's just depraved!
	Like, does God approve of this?
	Some stranger is next to your child, hugging him and kissing him?
	And you know what happens, by the way.
	These women fall in love with the kids.
	I obviously don't mean sexually.
	But these women have genuine love for these children.
	And the children genuinely love them back.
	They're essentially adopted.
	So this child's hugging Ella, and then mom is like, anti-mom.
	That's making me nauseous.
	Blah.
	By the way, little side note.
	Can I get a hug at some point?
	I'm the corrections officer in my home.
	I do all the no more screens, bedtime, no TV.
	I'm constantly enforcing the rules.
	Finish your dinner.
	Don't talk to your sister that way.
	Sit up.
	I'm the enforcer in the house.
	I don't care what mom said.
	You're not playing Roblox.
	So you're not exactly drowning in hugs.
	Mom gets so many hugs and kisses.
	Little fat arms wrapped around her neck.
	I get like a hug a year.
	Alright, so here's where it gets good.
	In this building of remarkably naive, uh, lesbians, Asians, and Europeans who say, do you want to buy my hundred dollar, uh, Eames chair?
	No, no, it's never something good like an Eames chair.
	It's always like an old ratty green felt chair, velour chair that they've already used for four years.
	I don't want your garbage.
	So amidst all these people was a black woman who was severely handicapped named Bella.
	This is an audio podcast so I can't do her walk but you can imagine like the arms have those T-Rex kind of shapes where they point down and in like the the smartest dinosaurs in Jurassic Park and then her feet are kind of pigeon-toed And she only walks on her tippy toes and sort of stabs the ground as she walks at a 45 degree angle, you know?
	Actually, a lot like a velociraptor.
	So imagine a velociraptor, uh, if it had food poisoning and it was stumbling, like, about to die.
	Imagine you shot a velociraptor and these are its last three steps.
	Those are all her steps.
	That scared me.
	And that was Bella.
	She apparently was hit by a car or something, and she made a ton of money, sued the city, and maybe she got hit by like a government vehicle.
	And so she bought a ground floor apartment, one bedroom, in this fancy building.
	What are you saying?
	She doesn't belong there, Gavin?
	Because she's black and handicapped?
	No, I would say she doesn't belong there because there's a lot of families and she's clearly a crackhead prostitute.
	Now, I noticed a huge range of her ability to speak.
	Sometimes she was like this!
	And then sometimes she'd just go, hi, what are you guys doing?
	And would sound like a slightly retarded person.
	I think that she was addicted to pain medication.
	So when she seemed particularly retarded, she was actually just high.
	She also would do crack and probably mix it with opioids, which probably feels great, but doesn't make for an interesting conversation partner.
	And, uh, I, uh, everyone was really sycophantic, like, hi, Bella, how are you?
	And I wouldn't do that because first of all, I would see her bring home taxi drivers.
	I think that she would abstain from paying them in exchange for fellatio.
	Because you don't often see black women with East Indian men, but you would always see her with East Indian men at around midnight.
	And they would come in and we'd see them leave immediately after.
	I would also gossip with the doorman about that and he would confirm that that was going on.
	Which isn't great when someone turns your home into a brothel.
	And also, what's a cab?
	Ten bucks?
	Aren't you rich?
	You just bought an apartment.
	Couldn't you have saved a little for cab rides?
	What do you eat?
	She also had this boyfriend who, like a woman, is severely handicapped.
	So isn't it kind of weird that you're dating her?
	Is that legal?
	It's not like she could have a normal conversation.
	You're kind of a pedophile.
	You're a form of pedophile if you're dating a mentally handicapped person.
	And he, I imagine him with a boombox, but that can't be a correct memory.
	He looked exactly like the love-hate guy from Do the Right Thing, Tyrone Furious Power Pants, whatever his name was.
	Oh, Tyrone Furious Power Pants are playing at Mercury Lounge if you guys want to go.
	I know the beatboxer who's opening for them.
	So he was with her for a while, probably, you know, just mooching off her to get some money.
	And, uh, the other weird thing about her was she would smoke crack in her apartment.
	She started a fire once with, by smoking crack, probably passed out with a lit crack pipe in her hand.
	I don't know, you don't pass out with crack, but something went wrong.
	And, uh, she lit the carpet on fire.
	So she did what any normal person would do, right, when their carpet's on fire.
	She got up on the dining room table with a lighter and went underneath the sprinkler system and just flooded her entire apartment, which also crept under the floorboards and destroyed the parquet flooring of the rich Asian's next door.
	And this brings up an interesting legal question.
	It's easy to kick a renter out of their house, right?
	How do you kick a homeowner out of their home?
	It's my home.
	You know, you can't kick, like, I'm in a house.
	If I lit a fire with crack, you couldn't kick me out of my house.
	It's my property.
	The neighbors could say, well, you're a danger to the community.
	Yeah, but how do you enforce that?
	The government comes along and makes you sell your home?
	Do they make you take an offer?
	What if the offers you're getting are way too low and you want to wait a year?
	Can they, can they, can you rent it out?
	Sticky!
	Sticky business!
	So, uh, she was also, get this, racist.
	Towards blacks.
	Uh, all the staff at the front, the doorman and the door lady were black, and she would call them slave.
	And she said, Get my bag, slave!
	Now!
	Which is shocking in the year 2016, when this was, to hear that word used in a derogatory way.
	I mean, the only time I've ever heard it is my buddy Dan.
	We were at this bar called Blue.
	This is probably in 2001, and it was a huge blizzard.
	Kind of like right out of Indiana Jones, like he walked, opened the door, and the snow comes pouring in.
	Wah!
	And scarves and jackets.
	And he goes, God damn it!
	He yells at the whole bar.
	We were day drinking.
	And he goes, it is colder than a dead slave's eyes out there!
	Everyone gasped.
	Now, he was obviously saying that to be as completely offensive and shocking as possible.
	Bella wasn't going for that.
	She was just telling you, get my bags, slave!
	Fucking bitch!
	Get my bags!
	Believe it or not, the staff wasn't into that.
	They don't like being called slave and being ordered around.
	I always thought a funny joke, one of them was Jamaican.
	I just ruined it by calling it a funny joke, but I was going to tweet out.
	If I'm so racist, why does my doorman's face light up every time I get home from work?
	But you need to see what he looks like for the joke to work, so it doesn't really work as a tweet.
	It could be in a movie, like in a play, I mean in a sketch.
	Anyway, So, uh, one of the women there was from Queens, born and raised, so she don't take no shit.
	Ain't got no time for that.
	So she starts talking back to Bella.
	Don't call me a slave, bitch, or you're gonna regret it.
	That's how we talk.
	She was, we would gossip, by the way, for like an hour.
	I'd come home drunk, and she'd tell me all the juice in the building, and there was, there's always gossip.
	That's the thing people don't understand about us gossipers.
	They go, well there can't be much gossip going on in the suburbs.
	There can't be much gossip at this golf club, a golf course.
	There can't be much gossip at my boring job on my cubicle.
	No.
	Someone's screwing someone.
	Someone just had an abortion.
	There's always gossip.
	You just gotta draw it out of people.
	Um.
	So I wasn't there for this part, but I forget the door woman's name.
	Let's call her Leslie.
	She, uh... Her and Bella had it out.
	And they had one of these old-timey phones.
	Like a big, heavy phone.
	I don't know why.
	Maybe it was like a direct line to the fire department or something.
	But that was on her desk.
	Bella picks it up with her crocodile arm.
	So maybe she wasn't so handicapped after all.
	And she clocks Leslie in the head with it.
	This is our doorman, woman.
	Sensor careening against the stone wall, she hits the ground, calls the cops, Bella's arrested, facing criminal charges.
	I think Leslie sued the building too, because the building left her unsafe, which I wasn't cool with, by the way.
	What are we supposed- what's the building supposed to do?
	Not let any handicapped people by in their building, because they might be volatile?
	and volatile she was.
	Sometimes she had upsides.
	I remember once where there was a pool in the building and she's paddling away with her little funny arms and she has like a rubber dingy around her waist and floaties on and, And she's like, hi, how are you?
	I was kind of mean to her, kind of cold, because I'm not a phony.
	And I think she liked that.
	So she was always really nice to me, like wanting to be friends.
	And I'm like, I don't want to be your friend.
	You're a crackhead whore, literally.
	laughs Um, and he's like, "Hi!" And I'm like, all right, kids, let's wrap it up here.
	This woman hits people with phones.
	And she goes, she gets up in the shallow end with all her gear on and her silly little bathing suit.
	And she goes, I'm so good.
	I'm swimming so good today.
	Hey, see how good I'm swimming?
	Like to the lifeguard.
	And I thought, oh, this is definitely an up of the drug's bipolar behavior.
	Time to go.
	So things started winding down and I go, I say on the message board, believe it or not, I don't have an Ikea stool to sell, but I do have something to say.
	Uh, we got to do something about this.
	And they go, They come back.
	I think they sent me personal emails because they were so petrified of appearing racist.
	And they go, look, this building has a great reputation now, okay?
	The value in our properties have doubled since we purchased this.
	Things are going great.
	The last thing we need is to be known as a building that was prejudiced or treated a handicapped woman of color badly.
	And I said, hey, asshole.
	I think I was rude in that, because I was going to move anyway at that point, so I was ready to burn the bridge.
	I go, in my email, I said, she's a danger to us and herself.
	So I'm actually trying to protect her and us from further damage, from more problems.
	And of course, so in that sense, Bella's life, her own life, was less valuable than being known as a racist.
	That's the amazing part about the left.
	They'd rather let a black woman die than be known as racist.
	So what eventually happened was, I believe Bella was quite distraught about her imminent court case.
	Maybe she needed money, maybe she ran out of money, but she jumped in front of the L train in Williamsburg.
	Bonk!
	And was sent off to the Bellevue.
	Now, she jumped at a point where it wasn't really whipping, right?
	There's two ends of a subway station.
	There's as the train enters, where you're probably gonna die.
	And then there's the other end where it's going down to five, 10 miles an hour.
	I think this was one of Bella's trades.
	She had a prostitution, was her work, sex trade.
	But I think another hobby she had, no not hobby, trade, that made money, was injuring herself.
	I suspect that she threw herself in front of that first car on purpose.
	I suspect that she threw herself in front of the train, hoping to get more money, more sympathy, I don't know, get out of the court case.
	So I tracked her down at the Bellevue.
	And I didn't want Bella coming back.
	I didn't feel safe with my kids.
	All you have to do is cross her.
	Next thing you know, your kids are running around and she wants to get revenge on you via your kids.
	So I called the Bellevue and I go, you have a woman there, Bella, forget her name.
	And they go, yeah, yeah, hold on.
	Yes, we have her here.
	And I go, I want to know that this woman is clearly suicidal.
	And if she gets released and sent back, she's a drug addict who is trying to kill herself and clearly has no value of her own human life, likely no one else's.
	And if she gets out and sent back to life as normal, it's going to be on your head.
	And they were sort of like, yeah, yeah, whatever.
	No, thanks for the heads up.
	Ready to hang up.
	And I go, what's your name?
	And it was a Japanese name.
	She's like, oh, my name is Nuri Hokusoko.
	And now the things changed, because now she had- her name was tied to Bella, and if Bella killed herself after for being released too soon, uh, she would be in shit.
	And now, all of a sudden, they weren't poo-pooing me on the phone, and they were assuring me that everything would be handled.
	Never saw her again.
	That was Annabella.
	I hope she got the help she needed.
	I hope she got clean.
	I mean... She's permanently handicapped.
	She obviously doesn't... She has all these people taking advantage of her.
	She has no self-respect.
	She was a fucking mess.
	And it was so funny seeing her juxtaposed with all these hypersensitive yuppies who think that you can just live in my, your dad can rub his butt cheeks on my pillows.
	So yes, I think it's stupid to bitch about gentrification and call it genocide.
	That's all hyperbole.
	And look, I talked to the Puerto Ricans in Williamsburg and they said, yo, we left here.
	I moved to Florida.
	Used to get mugged on Kent Street every day.
	Now I'm back.
	Schools are better.
	Everything's safe.
	So you talk to actual people.
	Not teenagers who have an aspiring rap career and want to bend your ear.
	But you talk to moms and older ladies about gentrification?
	No, they don't mind it.
	They like that the town is safe and the schools are better.
	But!
	That doesn't mean that yuppies are not annoying.
	They are brutal, spoiled brats who are obsessed with themselves, like Tom Hanks in Big, who, who, well, by the way, one time I left some stuff down and I was moving, and I came back and it was gone.
	And then I found out the apartment that had it, because I sent a mass email, and this woman had taken two of my Eames chairs that are like 200 bucks each, and then I found out, well, she actually had three, and wasn't telling me about one of them.
	So they're thieves, too!

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