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Oct. 27, 2017 - Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes

01:20:30

Get Off My Lawn Podcast #5 | I Was Raped

Gavin goes in depth into all the recent sexual harassment cases. He talks about an experience where he could have been seen as a victim of rape. Much of the podcast was about how some people end up trivializing the experiences of women who were victims of rape.

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	I was raped.
	The year was, I think, 1992, and I was asleep next to a lady.
	There was a bunch of us crashing in a house in Vancouver, and I was asleep next to a lady, and I guess I had acquired an erection in my sleep.
	In your dreams, McInnes!
	No, it was literally in my dreams.
	And I woke up, and a lady was pleasuring me in a way I had not volunteered.
	And I believe it went to fruition.
	No, I think I ended up rolling on top of her and fornicating.
	Anyway, sorry for all the porn.
	But I bring that up because I thought, oh, we're going to talk about sexual harassment on today's podcast in this insane number of cases.
	And I thought, I wonder if I've been raped, technically.
	And so you go through your sort of mental Rolodex and go, oh, yeah, I think I was raped.
	Yeah, I was raped.
	Now, men are different than women.
	So when this happened, I did not call the police.
	I was not remotely traumatized by it.
	I thought it was rude.
	It was sort of like a wedgie or, you know, someone pouring a beer in your head.
	I thought it was gross.
	The lady was like a four.
	Good friend, and she obviously had a crunch on the G-Dog, but not a person I wanted to pursue romantically.
	But I don't even think we mentioned it the next day or ever again.
	I didn't really mind.
	It was sort of like that same trip, that same house.
	I was running around the house nude, as a joke, and then someone locked me outside nude.
	So there I am on the street, basically, naked.
	That pissed me off a little bit.
	That was a rude hijinx, a rude prank, and that's how I feel about the rape.
	So, with all these cases, I think we tend to lump them all together as, you know, there's rape, there's people taking advantage of people sexually.
	And that's horrible.
	Uh, and I think that trivializes the real victims.
	If I were to say I have been raped and cite that case, then the real cases now pale in comparison, because I'm talking about some rude behavior, some poor sportsmanship on my female friend's side, and lumping it in with someone who, you know, has someone jump out with a knife.
	And I can prove it, too, that it's less serious, because I never thought of it again.
	If you were to rape a woman, even masturbate in front of her like Harvey Weinstein did, the next time a guy is with her and that kind of an act comes up, bing!
	That's going to trigger a memory, and she's going to remember Harvey Weinstein, and then that ruins the genuinely romantic moment that she was having with a dude.
	So, men and women are different.
	They see sex as different.
	Women?
	And I don't like enforcing sex, too.
	Like, when someone tells me a secret about what someone likes in bed, I hate it.
	Because it's none of my beeswax, and I don't judge them.
	I don't judge you.
	First of all, I don't think you should watch porn.
	I think it's bad for you.
	I think masturbating is bad for you.
	If you're single, it keeps you on the couch.
	If you're married, it makes your relationship seem less consequential.
	You don't mind being in the doghouse.
	But, if you are watching porn, I don't care what kind of porn you watch.
	Obviously, outside of kiddie porn, but that's already illegal.
	If you're into, you know, whatever weird fetish you're into, sexuality is a weird, open, crazy universe.
	And it shouldn't be, it shouldn't be in hinged upon.
	Is that the word I'm looking for?
	Imbued?
	No, that's not the word.
	Impended?
	Nope.
	It should go unfettered is what I'm trying to say.
	So the danger of these kind of witch hunts is you end up lumping in the innocent with the guilty.
	So that's what I want to try to do on this podcast is to is to liberate the innocent and prosecute the guilty.
	Now the woman who raped me deserves zero punishment.
	I think she owes me a beer.
	She owes me a Budweiser.
	That's what the punishment should be.
	And then you have Bill O'Reilly paying out $32 million.
	Can someone explain that to me please?
	I guess the mentality is he's rich, it's just his insurance company paying, or it's just Fox News, so they have to be hit with something that's physically painful to them.
	Now, if the punishment is a punch, and you're an 80-pound hemophiliac, that's not the same as when you're Hulk Hogan.
	So, with Hulk Hogan, they want to deliver 10 punches, and with the 80-pound hemophiliac, they want to deliver a flick.
	So the rationale is, we had to make it 32 million in order for the punishment to be felt.
	But I say, eh, that's not really how the law works.
	The law is what you suffered, not how much suffering you can... God, my vocabulary sucks today.
	Not how much suffering you can enforce.
	Like if you're a carpenter and someone is negligent and runs over your hand with their bicycle and breaks two of your fingers and you were making $80,000 a year as a carpenter and you didn't work for six months, the person who screwed up owes you $40,000.
	Crystal clear.
	You lost salary.
	Got it!
	You get 32 million for what?
	And it's hard to find all this because there's so much conjecture and people rarely talk about it.
	But I think one of the things Bill O'Reilly did was he left a salacious phone message where he talked dirty to a woman on the phone.
	That's gross.
	And you should probably hang up if that happens, not sit and record it.
	That's the thing.
	I mean, how much damage are you suffering in a lot of these cases?
	Now, sexual harassment, it comes from the 1970s, it got big in the 90s, and it basically is divided into two categories.
	Quid pro quo, where I will... I'll give you a raise if you tickle my balls.
	Or, the other 50% of it, the other half, is sexual harassment.
	And that's totally ambiguous.
	And that is, you allowed for a sexual environment in the workforce.
	And that gets taken by these liberal lunatics who will go and just imply anything
	Is sexual harassment like they'll say They'll say I heard of a case once where this guy was in trouble because he had a picture of a woman in a bikini on his desk I Can see that so he did he have porn on his desk that could be weird You know you walk into a guy's office, and there's just naked spread beavers all over his walls like hustler I could see that being a problem but in this case it was a picture of his wife and
	Now, it's now a sexually charged environment if there's someone with their wife on their desk?
	That's insane.
	And, if you lived in Times Square, if you work in Times Square, there's tons of Victoria's Secret billboards around there.
	So that could be visible out of your office window.
	So this guy would have to turn the picture of his wife in her bikini face down, while out the window next to his head, there's Victoria's Secret catalogs.
	So it gets into this nebulous area of where you draw the line, and I'm going to answer that at the end.
	This isn't just going to be a giant interrogative.
	That's our job as storytellers, as book writers, as journalists, as entertainers, is you need an ending.
	I remember I edited Leslie Arfin's book, Dear Diary, and at the end she just went, so what's the moral of the story?
	I don't know, I'm just a kid.
	And I go, Leslie, someone just read your entire book.
	You can't just shrug your shoulders at the end and go, thanks for coming, bye!
	You need an answer to the question.
	And I will provide that.
	But, uh, a lot of these cases too, we don't know the details.
	Like with, uh, with Bill O'Reilly, what did he do?
	Was it just, this guy's an alpha by the way, and you're with the big dogs.
	So sometimes in those environments you hear language you don't like.
	Now again, The risk of discussing this at all is you come across as justifying rape.
	So I'm going to start with all the guilty parties.
	But before we get to that, the Bill O'Reilly thing.
	You know, I've worked with, this guy's at the top of his game.
	He's like Howard Stern levels.
	And you, when you're around those kind of people, there's a sort of a big alpha contingent.
	For example, Casey Affleck is in big trouble because his female producer, who I checked her IMDB.
	She had nothing going on before she did Manchester by the Sea.
	And maybe she was a director.
	I think she was a producer.
	And he was at a hotel.
	And he said, get out of your room.
	What?
	Yeah, I want to use it for sex.
	I want to take a girl in here.
	So go downstairs.
	Now she gasped, and I think him and Joaquin Phoenix had some groupies that they had their way with in her hotel room.
	Now, I've been in those situations with alpha bosses, where they've said stuff like that.
	And I go, God damn it.
	And I go downstairs to the hotel bar, and I have a drink, and I say, don't make a mess, by the way.
	Obviously, there can be no fluids on my pillowcase.
	In fact, you know what?
	Just change the sheets.
	Or don't use the bed.
	Go on the couch.
	The last thing I would do Would be horrified.
	And, by the way, I'd also go, ooh, this is a good little feather in my cap.
	Now the boss owes me one.
	I'm paying my dues here.
	I wouldn't be remotely offended, obviously.
	I wouldn't see it as sexism or even sexual.
	But this woman sees it as sexual.
	And what she's saying, by the way, to other people is don't hire women.
	Because they're invited to the boys club.
	They get in there and then they go, I don't like it here.
	I'm not being treated like a lady.
	I'm not being treated like a woman in high-heeled shoes and a poodle skirt.
	I'm being told to fuck off so someone can come in here and bang a chick.
	Yeah, that's alpha dudes.
	You know, I'm obviously married.
	I don't go screwing women.
	But I'm saying, if you're a single man, then you take advantage of the fact that you have groupies.
	You'd be dumb not to.
	That's what Trump was saying in the bus.
	He was saying, and these groupies are crazy, they quote-unquote, let you do it.
	I've hung around with celebrities.
	David Cross, when he was single, unattractive guy.
	Probably a, as he put it, as he said himself, he sort of circled his finger around his face and he goes, they're certainly not coming for this.
	When I asked him if his fame was what was getting him chicks.
	Johnny Knoxville, I've seen women line up.
	Now, I've had this my whole life, I'm afraid.
	When I was 18, I was in a band.
	So I'm used to groupies.
	scheduling dentist appointments.
	That's, that's the life of a famous guy, a powerful guy.
	And I think the left finds Donald Trump so disgusting that they can't even conceive of this.
	Now, I've had this my whole life, I'm afraid.
	When I was 18, I was in a band.
	So I'm used to groupies, I'm used to the concept.
	And I think I have a healthy sexual appetite that's normal, And so I'm not turned on by the idea of being with someone who's not very into it.
	I don't even, I didn't even like condoms back in the day because it meant, oh what, I'm too gross for you?
	And the idea of Harvey Weinstein knowingly disgusting women while he does these acts, I can't really fit that into my brain.
	I don't see how that could possibly be a turn on to be revolting.
	I can understand being intimidating, In bed.
	And I've been with women that enjoy that.
	But to be disgusting?
	To make women want to gag?
	Where is the appeal there?
	And I think, you know, there's rough sex, especially here in New York.
	And I think men who do that, and I was one of them back in my single days, we sort of go into it because it's a fantasy that women have to be dominated.
	We don't naturally feel that way.
	We just want to get laid.
	And I've said this a million times, if women were turned on by clowns, I'd have a red nose on in bed.
	Whatever you want, lady.
	And if you want rough stuff, then I'm in.
	But, uh, dominating a woman to the point where she's very unhappy, that's abnormal.
	That's unnatural.
	And Jim Goad talks about this.
	He said, I've been to prison for two and a half years.
	I've met thousands of men.
	Uh, I've never met one man who was turned on by the idea of raping someone.
	But, he said, I've met some, I can't remember the exact number, but he said the majority of women I meet have had a rape fantasy.
	Now, what Margaret Atwood says about that is she goes, man, it's not really a rape fantasy.
	You're fantasizing about Mr. Clean doing it on your terms.
	It's not like a guy in a ski mask.
	And I think she's right in many ways.
	And that goes back to the trivializing the rape.
	Like I knew a girl in Williamsburg.
	She's coming home after a fun night partying and there's a guy, a Puerto Rican guy, waiting in her lobby.
	This is on South 5th and Bedford in Williamsburg.
	So it's one of those areas that's not quite gentrified.
	In fact, I think the Dominicans have taken it over from the Puerto Ricans.
	Puerto Ricans came to Williamsburg and they were already Americans so they didn't really have to struggle.
	They just went on welfare because there was no stigma there and dealt coke.
	The Dominicans, who aren't legal Americans, come here and go, wait a minute, you're not dealing cocaine with enthusiasm and there's millions of dollars in it?
	So they get up there with their gang, DDP, Dominicans Don't Play, and their machetes and they start hacking Puerto Ricans to bits and they take over the Puerto Rican cocaine trade.
	Which was run by the Kings at the time, the Latin Kings.
	So anyway, South Fifth is one of those Dominican streets that can't really get gentrified because the Dominican gangs run it.
	And we went to some fun speakeasies there, all-night parties where Dominicans just opened a disco in their apartment, in the basement.
	Cocaine everywhere.
	God, it was fun.
	There was a bar in Williamsburg called Cokey's, where you would go to the back room to the DJ and buy Coke from him.
	No, the first time, and it was half hipsters, half Puerto Ricans dancing salsa.
	And you'd go to the DJ, and you'd say, 20.
	No, you wouldn't say anything.
	You'd say, I'd like you to play a song.
	You'd give him 20 bucks, and he'd give you a little bag.
	Then you go to a lineup, and then people would go into this little tiny closet and snort it.
	And when I first went in there, I didn't know how it worked.
	So I waited in the lineup where people already have cocaine.
	And everyone's doing their bumps, doing their bumps.
	And then I get in there to the little closet, And, uh, I don't have any coke on me.
	This is the doing the coke room and it's maybe two feet by two feet.
	So I get in there and I go, hello?
	Then there's a hole in the wall, because it's a disgusting old hole in the wall.
	So I put my lips into the hole and I go, hello?
	Can I get a bag?
	And then I'm waving 20 bucks around in various holes in the wall, thinking that a magic hand is going to hand me Coke.
	Meanwhile, people in the lineup can hear this guy alone in that room going, hello?
	20 bucks.
	Hello?
	I'm a loser.
	Anyway, my friend Nadine, who's since died, said, I'm just going to ask someone.
	And she goes, where do you get the Coke?
	And they go, the DJ.
	Boom, done.
	But that was the climate in Williamsburg at the time.
	It wasn't that gentrified.
	It was still very dangerous in the early 2000s.
	Anyway, so this friend of mine, she is coming home.
	And this Puerto Rican jumps her in the lobby of her Brownstone, stabs her.
	And then she gets so freaked out that she faints.
	And she doesn't know if she was raped.
	So she had to have a rape kit, and she wasn't allowed to drink all summer because she was on AIDS medicine, just in case you have AIDS medicine.
	And she joked about it a little bit, but she didn't want to talk about it, and she certainly didn't carry a mattress around campus.
	Now every time I think of real rape, I think of her.
	And for me to say rape, or for someone who had their butt grabbed to say rape, It trivializes her experience.
	I mean, I'm sure she had to sort of relearn sex after that.
	But anyway, let's look at the guilty cases first.
	Harvey Weinstein, bad guy.
	I think we're pretty clear on that.
	And the left has been, the right, sorry, has been enjoying this, this...
	This lynching on Weinstein.
	And I have too.
	I love it.
	I love seeing that Hollywood... Remember when George Clooney got up on stage and he said, yeah, we're out of touch.
	We're out of touch from the racists.
	We're the first ones that had a black woman win an Oscar and Marlon Brando wouldn't come and get his Oscar until an Indian got it and blah, blah, blah.
	We're out of touch from the ignorance and the losers and the rednecks.
	And we're in touch with peace and justice and equality.
	I mean, he really said all that crap.
	And, uh, It's fun to see the self-righteous realize that we don't care what you think.
	We think that you're reprobates.
	You're dressing up as Superman on my TV.
	You're an entertainer.
	You're a little minstrel dancing around for me for money.
	You're like a monkey with a little, you know, the Italian guy with the... And you run around with a little cup.
	We have no respect for you.
	No one says, what does J-Lo say about this?
	So it was nice to have their reality check.
	And with this Corey Feldman thing, we're about to see a whole other world of disgusting perverts in Hollywood.
	And I'm noticing a pattern when I go through all these cases.
	A lot of them are ugly people and nerds, like Robert Crumb.
	He lived in the era before they had this kind of stuff.
	And so they were just called groupies back then.
	And he was an ugly nerd who was totally ignored by women his whole life.
	But when he finally got famous, all his sex was very predatorial and rough.
	And sort of, he would jump on their backs and stick their hands in, stick his hands in their mouth and stuff.
	It was about revenge.
	And I can't help but look at Harvey and think, this is revenge.
	You were always a pariah, I assume.
	You look like a bag of potatoes.
	And now that you have power, you can't resist taking advantage of it.
	I'm sure there was the casting couch thing at the beginning that wasn't as rapey.
	It was more like an understood transaction.
	Like with the illegal aliens who cross the border, they say 80% get raped.
	It's disgusting and horrible, don't get me wrong.
	It's almost consensual in the sense that these women know that's part of the deal.
	And they go, yeah, we're going to get raped when we cross the border.
	So what we do is we take birth control pills and then as we cross the coyote rapes us and then we get there and it sucks.
	But that's life to get to a new, to get to America.
	Now that's rape.
	But if you were to interview them, I bet a lot of them would just go, no, that was part of the deal and we work it out.
	Sorry, lady, you were raped.
	You didn't notice?
	So maybe it started out with that with Weinstein, but then absolute power becomes absolutely corrupt and He started taking advantage of more and more and more women Until he was just in over said I think he's still to this day.
	He did what a week of sexual rehab and He's done now.
	So he still hasn't accepted that he's a disgusting human being.
	What a vile scumbag.
	And it is, it is joyous watching him suffer, but we have to still be very skeptical of all these other cases and make sure we don't have kangaroo courts.
	It's not a mob mentality in America.
	And I've seen the innocent get pilloried for these same allegations.
	Bill Cosby, actual bad guy.
	That is not a witch hunt.
	You got the right guy.
	He roofied chicks.
	We don't need to go over that.
	I actually have very little enthusiasm for the whole Bill Cosby case.
	I remember there was a New York Magazine where they had 50 women on the cover.
	And I just thought, I don't wanna, I don't have time to sit and read this.
	What is it, 5,000 words?
	I'm not reading a New York Magazine cover story.
	Sure, he's a bad guy.
	Yeah, but Kevin, you're sitting here saying everyone needs due diligence.
	Yeah, but is Bill Cosby in my life?
	I mean, is he making stuff?
	Is he influencing people?
	I'll get to it.
	James Toback is another one.
	He's got like 30 cases against him.
	Now, sometimes the number of cases become a justification in and of itself, but sometimes they're not.
	Like with Terry Richardson and Dove Charney, whom I'll get to in a second.
	They end up sort of snowballing, where the next case is just piggyback the previous case.
	But, when you get to dozens, that's pretty bad.
	Roger Ailes, another guilty party.
	Now his son said, I'm gonna get you.
	I'm gonna get revenge on all you people.
	And I think it's possible he died of a heart attack from the stress of all this.
	I think that might be why Breitbart died.
	Remember Andrew Breitbart was being sued by that woman, forget her name, look it up Dave.
	There was that woman who sued him for taking a quote out of context.
	Now her quote was that she gives grants to farmers and she said she's more, she's less likely to give a grant to a white farmer than a black farmer.
	Shirley Sherrod, that's it.
	She's more likely to give a grant to a black farmer, and then later on in the same speech, she goes, but that's my own bias, and I have to overcome that.
	And Breitbart's point was, yes, I'd neglected to include that second part, but imagine a white person said, I'm prejudiced towards black people, and then later said, but that's something I need to get over.
	He would be ruined.
	So she sued him, and I think that stressed him out and led to his heart attack.
	And it could have been the same thing with Ailes.
	I do believe, by the way, Sherrod kept suing the Breitbart family after he died.
	Because I raised $17,000 for him with those So T-shirts.
	I made these T-shirts that said So on them, because it was one of my favorite quotes of his.
	Every time someone said something that seemed salacious and destructive, he would say, So?
	And you'd realize, yeah, that actually isn't so bad.
	But I was concerned that the money would go to Sherrod.
	And it was a valid concern.
	But with ales, you know, I talk to people there and I would say, this is a witch hunt, right?
	And they go, yeah, no.
	They go, he would sit woman on his lap, feel their torsos and say, their bare skin, like their hand on their bare skin.
	And they would do vocal lessons.
	I actually mentioned something similar to Lauren Savant.
	And she goes, yeah, I did that vocal lessons.
	She didn't know she was molested.
	Now, she also did know that Harvey Weinstein molested her by cornering her in a restaurant and masturbating into a plant.
	And just to play devil's advocate for a sec, Lauren, shouldn't she have called the cops?
	Like, I have to admit, I'm getting a lot of this from women, because I think men are too scared to go near this subject.
	But a lot of women are saying, eh, screw Rose McGowan.
	She's jumping on the bandwagon now, just trying to get publicity for herself.
	And I've also heard women say, why didn't Lauren Savant call the cops?
	One woman said to me, if that was me and I was in a restaurant trapped like that, I would be running upstairs to the police immediately.
	And Lauren's not in showbiz, she's in news.
	So what was Weinstein going to kick her out of?
	Not that that's any justification.
	You shouldn't accept sexual assault in exchange for a career opportunity.
	That's prostitution, is it not?
	If you get $40,000 after a man masturbates in front of you, you just had a... you're a sex worker.
	You just had a sexual transaction.
	Now, here's another group of guilty that's gonna blow minds.
	Women in marketing.
	I started a magazine in the 90s.
	100% of the people we dealt with that we needed money from were women.
	And they were marketing.
	A record label wants to get its chick numbers up, so they have to give jobs to women.
	Women aren't great at a lot of stuff, especially a dog-eat-dog world like the music industry.
	So the labels would say, here, you work in marketing, which just means here's a budget, here's $300,000, go buy a bunch of $5,000 magazine ads with it.
	So they're just shopping, really.
	Go shop at magazines.
	And power corrupts, absolute power corrupts absolutely.
	And these women would harass my sales guys, they'd harass other graphic design sales guys.
	I've said earlier that I think the term cougar came from one of my friends back then in the early 90s.
	And I'll never forget this one story.
	this cougar was eating dinner with this guy that she made him go to dinner with him because he wanted her ads.
	And she did this thing where she laid her hand on the table with her, the back of her palm touching the table, so it was palm up.
	And then she sort of went boop, boop, and beckoned with her fingers.
	So then he had to put his hand in her hand, then she squeezed it without looking at him either.
	It was just like, give me your hand, bitch.
	I have a real thing with the beckoning gesture.
	Do you know what I'm talking about, by the way?
	This is an audio podcast, but like when you close your fist quickly, you hear that?
	Like, come here, come here, hey, come here.
	You beckon someone.
	I just blew a gasket.
	It happened yesterday.
	I was driving my son to practice, and this guy was crossing, not at a crosswalk, and he sort of beckons me like, go, go, go, go, because I had slowed down to let him cross, and I just snapped.
	I just go, oh, just cross the fucking road!
	It makes me snap.
	I shouldn't be telling you this because it's like, it's like James Dean in Rebel Without a Cause when they call him chicken and he just goes ballistic.
	It's like my secret word.
	Anyway, she beckoned him like that.
	I think that guy actually ended up being a molester.
	Maybe a lot of these molesters, it's sort of like when kids are molested and then they end up molesting kids.
	It becomes a... Not that I could see Harvey Weinstein getting molested by a woman.
	But anyway, my point here is that there's lots of powerful women taking advantage of young men in business.
	At least there was in the early to mid-90s when I was dealing with these women.
	And again, like when I was raped, Wasn't that bad?
	Yeah.
	I'll sleep with some old bag.
	You know, we were in our early 20s.
	We were... I don't think I ever did it, but I might have.
	But they were sleeping with, like, 40-year-olds, which, when you're 22, that's like sleeping with Nancy Reagan.
	Like, that's the oldest person in the world.
	42-year-old.
	When you're 24, sleeping with a 27-year-old is insane.
	Like, it's a grandma fetish.
	So 42, I mean, that's nuts.
	Now, of course, I would consider that pedophilia, sleeping with a 42-year-old.
	So, those are the guilty parties.
	Now, let's jump to the innocent parties, because they're very relevant in all of this.
	First of all, there's a dangerous culture going on with this constant sexual assault, and it makes the workplace less fun.
	You know, I saw some meme, someone said, someone who is inappropriate at work deserves to be unemployed.
	Someone who sexually molests or rapes someone deserves to be in jail.
	We have parameters for this.
	And who was that guy?
	There was a guy, oh yeah, John Soloski.
	He was at the University of Georgia in journalism.
	And he was at some dinner in a bad part of town, maybe in Chicago, I think, South Side.
	And he said to a woman there, are you, uh, are you here single?
	Are you single?
	Are you here with someone?
	So she decided that was sexual harassment.
	And technically I believe it is.
	I've been through sensitivity training, believe it or not, for saying the word fag at work.
	And back when we were owned, my whole company was owned by a big corporation.
	And, uh, Uh, they said, anything personal about a person not related to work is harassment.
	So, are you gay is harassment.
	Are you a cancer or a Sagittarius is harassment.
	It can only be work-related, like, why are you late all the time?
	That's work-related, you can ask that.
	So, he was harassing her by asking about her marital status.
	And so she, she, I don't know what you do.
	You fine them, you prosecute them.
	He was fired for this.
	He was fired as a, a journalism dean in, in University of Georgia in 2005.
	And he goes, but I wasn't sexually attracted to her at all.
	I was worried about her getting mugged, being attacked.
	I was there with my wife.
	I'm not into her.
	That'd be funny if she was hideous.
	I never saw the person.
	Wouldn't that be awesome if she was a three?
	And he eventually, by the way, had the charge reneged, but it took years and tons of legal crap.
	And her argument and her prosecutor's argument, her lawyer's argument was it shouldn't matter what his intentions were.
	It's that she experienced sexual harassment that matters.
	Now there is a dangerous legal territory if I've ever heard one.
	Now how people feel in the age of triggering, and this is 10 years before the age of triggering, but in the age of triggering, now just how you interpret things counts as guilty?
	Well, I'm sure I'm seen as... I just saw, we just showed the other day on Get Off My Lawn, the show, we showed a college student who said, your very existence is offensive.
	Was that the exact quote?
	It was a really bizarre quote.
	Your very existence is a hate crime, she was saying to someone who was at a college Republicans meeting who wasn't even a Republican, they were Democrat.
	So don't start saying how things are interpreted count as truth, because these interpreters have lost their minds.
	But I read an article about this where the author was saying, you know what, let's just abolish the whole concept of sexual harassment at work.
	If you're a guy, a boss, who grabs woman's asses, they're going to quit.
	There's not more than one job in the world, and that guy's not going to last very long.
	You know, I saw that movie 9 to 5 with Dolly Parton and Lily Tomlin recently about this disgusting sexist boss, and I watched it and went, eh, he's not that bad.
	I mean, he's having an affair.
	That's gross.
	But it doesn't really affect you and your workplace.
	And at one point he has one of the secretaries go shopping for his mistress to buy the mistress a scarf.
	Okay.
	I mean, you get to go shopping.
	You get some time off.
	Here in the workforce, here as a man, I've had to take out garbage full of maggots.
	I've started a lot of companies from scratch.
	It really sucks starting companies from scratch.
	There's no air conditioning in the office.
	You have to deal with the trash.
	You've got to do your own taxes.
	You have to go out and get coffee for everyone because you don't have a coffee machine yet.
	There's no running water.
	It sucks.
	Ladies, the workplace can be uncomfortable.
	I'm sorry.
	So, why don't we just stop this stupidity because it doesn't work.
	Harvey Weinstein masturbates in front of you.
	Charge him.
	Don't sue him.
	Don't start a rumor.
	Don't run to the press.
	I mean, you could do that too.
	But go to the cops.
	Remember Mattress Girl?
	They were having vaginal intercourse.
	I should have an NSFW for this particular podcast.
	They're having vaginal intercourse.
	He puts it in the other thing that's down there.
	And she says stop, apparently.
	And he doesn't.
	And so he's a rapist.
	And the school refuses to prosecute him.
	And she walks around with a mattress for the rest of her time on campus.
	What was his name again?
	John Nagusan or something like that?
	Paul Nungesser.
	He sued Columbia.
	I believe he won.
	But that act of getting it in the wrong spot back there, Was a comedy episode of the Mindy Kaling Show.
	So when Mindy Kaling jokes about it, it's funny and it's a faux pas.
	Sort of like what I went through with Tracy.
	Oops, I just gave her name away.
	It's a faux pas sometimes.
	Other times it's an example of horrific rape.
	But as far as the workplace goes, I think we should just abolish the entire thing.
	Because preventing an area that's sexually charged is just too hard.
	And if a boss is a disgusting pig, well if he does something illegal, then call the cops.
	And if he does something that's untowards, don't worry, the free market will sort it out.
	You had another secretary quit?
	You're gross, sir.
	You said, if you blow me you'll get a raise?
	You're disgusting.
	And the woman's going to say no.
	That's wrong.
	You know, we don't need the state to handle all our problems.
	We can handle things.
	These women have brothers.
	Oh, by the way, that reminds me of another thing.
	Let's not forget in all this that there are plenty of men who want to beat up rapists.
	And there's plenty of women who tell them not to.
	I've talked to cops, by the way, who will break up a domestic as some guy's beating the crap out of his wife.
	And then as he arrests the guy, she starts attacking the cop because she didn't want him to intervene.
	And I had a friend who was some guy basically said screw me or you're fired and I said I want to go kill him and she begged and pleaded with me not to as a female friend because she said it'll ruin my career and I don't want you to.
	Now what do I do at that point?
	Go ruin her career and beat him up?
	No, I have to take her word for it and say, okay, I'll drop it.
	But anytime you change your mind, please, I'd love to get involved.
	And this happened with my buddy, Derek.
	He was dating a girl named Frankie, I believe her name was.
	She was with this other dude.
	And, uh, he told me, Derek told me that this guy raped her.
	And I go, alrighty.
	Well, he's dead.
	Now, this is ten years ago.
	Back before the word had become so diluted.
	And rape was still rape.
	And so I said, let's kill him.
	And, uh, we were at a party once and I went, holy shit, he's here!
	So my friend didn't seem as enthusiastic as I did.
	And that's typical, by the way, of my life.
	I get more into these crusades than the actual people involved.
	In fact, Saroosh, my old business partner, he was screwed over by this chick and I exed her.
	I never spoke to her ever again for screwing over my buddy.
	They made up and then they'd be having a party either at his house or at her house and I couldn't come because I had exed her.
	So I was the pariah.
	They had moved on.
	So I was like living with the ghost of their conflict for eternity.
	We're still not speaking.
	Anyway, I go over to confront this rapist and I go, hey pal, what the swear word are you doing here?
	And he goes, pardon me?
	And I go, look, I know what you did.
	I know you raped Frankie.
	And he said, what are you talking about?
	And then he started panicking and he did what I would do if I was accused of this and he pulled out his phone and he goes, let's call her right now.
	I thought, hmm, you don't see a lot of rapists saying, let's call her right now.
	This is looking pretty good for him and pretty bad for her.
	And then when she found out she was super mad at us for bothering him.
	And I realized, it sounds like you're lying.
	And by the way, I don't want to trivialize rape allegations, but it's worth mentioning fake ones on behalf of real victims.
	And I tweet, I got in trouble, actually from Leslie too, the girl I was talking about, I got in trouble a long time ago for saying every guy I know that's been involved in a domestic was the victim of some c-word trying to ruin his life.
	And people, that made people really mad, especially feminists.
	But it's true.
	Every guy I know that's been prosecuted or persecuted for this has been innocent.
	Anthony Cumia.
	He was accused of beating the crap out of a girl because she said he was doing it on Periscope and the stepmom called the cops.
	Now, I believe he bit her hand after she decked him in the face and smashed his phone.
	But he did not beat her.
	But he still had to go to court for a year, probably spent $100,000, lost his guns.
	Had to go to rehab, had to go to anger management, all tens of thousands of dollars adding up to a hundred for something that he hadn't done wrong.
	In fact, when the police showed up to get him, they had just come back from the Apple Store where they had each bought new phones.
	Hi, what's going on here?
	I've talked- here's another horrible thing to say.
	I've talked to a cop about this and he said, He said, what I do with rape allegations is I go up to the girl and I say, look, I want you to know that this is a big, big deal.
	This is why we become cops.
	We want to catch bad guys.
	We don't want to deal with pot smokers.
	We don't want to give you a fine if you're caught drinking.
	That's boring to us.
	Speeding tickets, parking tickets.
	That's the bad side of the job.
	The good side of the job is catching bad guys.
	Someone robbed a bank.
	We get the money back.
	We put him in jail.
	That feels good.
	Someone raped a woman.
	We grab him.
	We throw him in jail.
	She feels safe.
	We feel great.
	That's the deal.
	However, if it's not true, that's a crime.
	And that's ALSO a very big deal.
	Because it makes the real cases seem like nothing, and as I just explained, we're really into the real cases.
	And so, I explain that he'll be going to jail for a long time, blah blah blah, I'll have a criminal record.
	And then a lot of them will say, uh, yeah, I was just kind of mad at him.
	He didn't really do that.
	And I said, what percentage of the time is this true?
	Now, this is going to sound horribly sexist.
	It's going to sound like I don't think rape exists.
	I'm just telling you one conversation I had with a police officer.
	He could have been lying.
	This is not a fact.
	This is just a story that happened to me, and I hang out with a lot of cops.
	And he said 95%.
	95% of the cases he came across were deemed fake by the actual person.
	And he's not saying he's smashing, you know, a truncheon on the table and waving a gun in her face.
	This is just a rational conversation about the facts of rape.
	Anyway.
	So, Kumia, innocent.
	Kale Hartman, comedian.
	Now, this is his version of events, but I haven't heard it contradicted by her.
	And he's begged her to take him to court.
	A lot of these guys want to go to court so they can have actual allegations, but what these women do is they just send out the rumor with a carrier pigeon, and that rumor becomes fact, and now these guys' lives are ruined.
	So, she sends a picture of herself with her legs all bruised up, And she says, I was just getting out of an abusive relationship.
	Now that becomes Kale Hartman, because that was her ex-boyfriend.
	He then becomes a rapist, and his life is over.
	He loses his job.
	He loses his entire career.
	His friends kick him out.
	Even his friends that know he's innocent, they say, sorry man, it's really bad for me to be seen with you.
	You gotta go.
	So he moves, and he ends up installing furniture in Ohio.
	This guy had a badass comedy career.
	He wrote for Bad Grandpa.
	He wrote for Jackass.
	He was set.
	And now, to this day, he'll go to a comedy club in Philadelphia, and the owner will come over and say, uh, yeah, we know who you are.
	You have to leave.
	Exactly like he was a pedophile.
	He lives the life of Anthony Weiner, having done nothing wrong.
	Well, how'd you get the bruises on her legs, Gavin?
	I've heard a recording of this, and in the recording, if he would just release this to everyone, everyone would see that he's innocent.
	And I honestly believe this woman, she sees an abusive relationship as, for example, her saying, uh, uh, my dad, uh, I'm intimidated by my dad, I don't feel like I lived up to his expectations.
	And then later on in the fight, the boyfriend says, You're just mad because you don't live up to your dad's expectations.
	Now, that's a petty move where you've used something someone told you in confidence and then brought it into a fight.
	It's not abusive.
	It's dirty pool.
	And I think young women today would count that as being in an abusive relationship.
	But us 47-year-olds, we read that and we go, oh, he beat the crap out of you for not having a sandwich ready on time, for not getting you a beer.
	So it's a generation gap, too, with a lot of this stuff.
	When I hear rape, I think of Ski Mask, Bush's, Knife.
	I don't think of a rough night of tomfoolery where something went into the different spot.
	So they were wrestling one night, is the story, and they got in sort of a physical altercation.
	They were both drunk, and I've fought drunk women before, and they think they can beat you up.
	So you spend half the time sort of holding their wrists going, calm down, calm down.
	So he was holding her legs down as she was kicking him, and she got bruises all over her legs.
	Women bruise very easily, I'm afraid.
	And so it looks brutal.
	It looks like someone was sitting there pounding her legs, which Have you ever heard of a domestic abuse where some guy comes home, his dinner isn't ready, and he gets down on his knees and starts punching her legs?
	Like she's naming five breakfast cereals?
	So Kale, unfairly accused.
	And again, Harvey Weinstein, Roger Ailes, James Toback, Bill Cosby, guilty as charged.
	I'm not saying that these allegations are always false.
	I'm just saying that there are plenty of false allegations.
	Dove Charney.
	Dove's a horny guy, not an attractive Jewish nerdy dude with glasses and a very high-pitched voice who talks 24 hours a day.
	I know him.
	And he started getting late because of American Apparel.
	You know, here's the thing that is going to sound horribly sexist.
	Women get turned on when they're being photographed.
	I remember I was with Terry Richardson and we were photographing a cover for Vice.
	It was this black woman and she looked unbelievably beautiful in this bikini.
	And I was right close to her and I was like, you look so unbelievably good right now.
	That sounds like sexual harassment in 2017.
	Back in 2002, that was just like complimenting a lady.
	And I'm like, look at you.
	You're unbelievable.
	I think even her boyfriend was in the studio at the time.
	And she sort of turned into a feral animal.
	And she said, I got the sweetest pussy in the world.
	You wouldn't believe how sweet my pussy is.
	Whoa, whoa, easy lady.
	It was like she became possessed for a second.
	And I think it's because she was getting really turned on by this.
	And women would hurl themselves at Terry.
	And they'd hurl themselves at Dove.
	And Dove got charged with sexual harassment.
	They claimed, one woman claimed, Irina Morales claimed that she was a sex slave.
	And forced to, to perform sex acts for him.
	Held captive.
	And then this other woman, Kimberlo, said he raped her.
	And they both got together on, I think, Good Morning America or something, wearing little sort of sweater vests and pencil skirts and sitting with their knees close together saying, Yes, I was raped.
	How much are you asking for?
	And this goes back to the Bill O'Reilly thing.
	Uh, $250 million.
	$125 each.
	Pardon?
	A quarter of a billion?
	Did he eat your family?
	When do you get a quarter of a billion when someone peels your skin off in front of your children?
	When you get stabbed in the eye once a day for seven years?
	You get $125 million each for that?
	And that didn't happen, by the way.
	Luckily, it's the digital age, and Dove had photographs of the so-called rape where this woman was clearly enjoying herself, so Kimberle lost that case.
	I helped make these photographs public, and I never would have done that, by the way, if they hadn't drawn first blood and appeared on Good Morning America saying they're being raped.
	But all bets are off at that point.
	And then the other one, Irina Morales, we find out that after she was fired from American Apparel for being useless, she was still sending him flirtatious texts, herself naked, penetrating herself, saying, I want to be your sex slave.
	I want to perform an act on your back area.
	I don't know how to say this in a TV-friendly way, podcast-friendly way, radio-friendly way.
	And what really bothered me, by the way, about her emails, I felt I had to have a shower after I did the research for this article, too.
	She had Frederick Douglass as a quote at the bottom of her emails as a signature.
	And this is after she's saying, I want to be your slave and then prosecuting him for the lie that she was a slave with Frederick Douglass, the key player in the abolitionist movement, as her signature.
	I mean, the audacity of these stupid millennials is just downright disgusting.
	But once it happened once with Dove, And he paid them $40,000, which seems to be the common figure they pay on these things, $40,000, or at least it was when I was researching it.
	Then the next one goes, repeated alleged sex offender or reported to have blah, blah, blah.
	So once it happens once or twice, you can keep adding to it.
	Now, I think the Bill Cosby, Harvey Weinstein numbers don't include that.
	That's too big of a number.
	But with Dove and Terry, there was like three or four cases and that became repeated sex offender.
	Now Terry's was even more ridiculous.
	With Terry Richardson, the allegation was that he makes women blow him in exchange for a spot in Vogue magazine.
	Now anyone with any kind of a brain should go, wait a minute.
	That's like saying, if you have sex with me, you can get in the MLB.
	You can't get in the MLB if you can't play baseball.
	You can't get in Vogue if your ass is the size of three watermelons.
	And there's this woman, Jamie Peck, who is clearly never going to be a model.
	Very clear.
	Look at her.
	Look at her ass.
	She's not going to be in Vogue.
	And even Anna Wintour's daughter, I don't even know if she has one, but if Anna Wintour's daughter was a sphere or looked like Megan McCarthy or any of those women, actually any woman from Ghostbusters, if Anna Wintour's daughter looked like any of the female Ghostbusters, there's no way in hell she's going to be on the cover of Vogue.
	Even though Anna runs the show there.
	Because it's Vogue.
	They would go bankrupt.
	People would go, what the hell?
	What's she doing?
	They have a very particular type.
	They have to look, and I don't find it attractive by the way, they have to look like an alien.
	They have to have one eye over here and one eye over here like a hammerhead shark.
	Then they have to be totally skinny and have the body of a stretched out 12 year old boy.
	That's what's hot in modeling.
	Not my cup of tea.
	So the idea that all you had to do was have sex with Terry to get into a fashion magazine is ridiculous.
	And this chick Jamie Peck with these really tacky sort of 90s tattoos, the idea of her getting in vogue is just not plausible.
	So she was clearly just going for attention.
	And New York Magazine did a big article on it and they noticed when they were looking at the pictures of Jamie that she had about 12 different hairdos in them.
	And they said, so you said you went there and you were raped, molested, whatever.
	Uh, why do you have 12 different hairdos?
	Did you, did he rape you as you were putting on a bunch of wigs?
	And she goes, oh my god, I didn't remember that.
	And then she hung up.
	This is all in the New York Magazine article, you can find it.
	And then she calls back and she goes, actually, hold on a sec.
	This is actually proof that I was raped.
	Pardon?
	Yes, because I was so intensely traumatized that I kept going back, and I was so traumatized that I forgot that I kept going back.
	So my story prevails.
	And you go, you know what I think?
	I think that you just chose this because it's, you thought it would give you some substance.
	I'm a Terry Richardson victim.
	And if you check her articles, she'll, there'll be something going on like, like North Korea.
	And she'll go seven years later, how being raped by Terry Richardson was my own personal North Korea.
	Keeps crowbarring this lie into her persona.
	And, you know, it lost Terry millions and it lost Terry a lot of employees.
	She made a lot of people unemployed with this crap.
	Trying to get, I don't know, one extra blog article.
	I don't think these young girls realize the consequences of false allegations.
	And even today, he was on the cover of the Daily News two days ago and it said Condé Nast is banning him.
	And you go, for what?
	And they go, this shit that happened 10 years ago.
	We decided to bring it back up.
	Now, Terry has been a total square since then.
	He lives way out in upstate New York.
	He even canned his look.
	He stopped wearing the flannels and the chucks and now he wears white Reeboks and denim shirts, which I strongly disapprove of.
	Married with two kids.
	But no, it still follows him.
	And one of the things, by the way, back when all this hullabaloo started for Terry, some 18-year-old in Britain tweeted, uh, so you're still going to work with Terry?
	He's a rape apologist.
	And she tweeted that to H&M.
	H&M goes, nope, he's done.
	Don't worry about it.
	This is a woman who'd never been to this continent.
	And he, she killed a, I don't know, quarter of a million dollar campaign and all the people who were paying their rent with it.
	Again, I sound like I'm saying rape should be free and there should be no punishment and all women are liars.
	I'm not saying that.
	I'm trying to provide some perspective and saying that there are guilty guys and there are innocent guys.
	My dad is an innocent guy.
	My dad was dancing at an office party once, and someone made a joke about him being bald, which he is.
	Can you believe how blessed I am, by the way, with these gorgeous locks?
	I mean, Justin Theroux, Jennifer Aniston's husband, once said to me, I am brutally jealous of you for about a quarter of an inch down, and then I stop.
	Meaning, from the top to a quarter of an inch, he's jealous of me, and then my brain is there, and then he stops being jealous immediately.
	But my dad was not blessed with these gorgeous locks.
	He's gross bald.
	He's bald like a testicle.
	He looks like a scrotum upside down and he's happy to admit that.
	Plus he's been in a million fights so his nose is flat and he has these huge tire lips.
	He looks like a cartoon.
	But he was dancing at an office party back when he worked at Prior Data Sciences and someone made a joke about him being bald and he was dancing with a female friend of the family and He said, women love it.
	It looks like a penis.
	They find it sexy.
	So he gets an HR complaint.
	But it wasn't from someone who was even there.
	It's from someone who heard about it.
	So they prosecuted my dad.
	And HR walks into my dad's office.
	And he goes, sir, you're making penis jokes at a company function.
	And he goes, what?
	He didn't even remember it.
	And then, uh-oh, I just noticed something I'll tell you about later.
	And so they went up to the woman who was part of the penis joke.
	And they said, so do you want to press charges?
	And she goes, she barely remembered it either!
	And she goes, uh, I guess?
	No, no, I definitely don't want to press charges, but I guess that happened?
	Oh yeah, Jim made a penis joke or something?
	Yeah, yeah, yeah.
	Uh, no.
	I don't want to press fucking charges, you lunatics.
	And that brings us to my favorite example of an innocent man, as of recent, which is George Bush Sr.
	George Bush Sr.
	is a World War II vet.
	The guy is one million years old.
	When he poses in photos, he's going to touch your ass, because he can't lift his arms up high.
	He's like John McCain.
	He can't lift his arms up high.
	So in a photo, his hand's going to end up on your ass.
	He's probably not doing it on purpose.
	Now, there was an actress recently, uh, dig up her name, Dave, who claimed that he sexually harassed her with lewd jokes and then molested her.
	He was only a mere 89 when this happened.
	Yeah, Jordana Grodnick?
	She's probably got a movie out soon.
	And apparently the joke was, uh, what was the joke she said?
	Uh, grab a lot?
	Uh, who's your favorite actor?
	Oh yeah, David Coppa feel, she says.
	By the way, for the record, that's a funny joke.
	If an 89 year old, he was 89 at the time, if an 89 year old grabs your butt, I don't care if you're female or male or nude.
	And he says, my favorite actor is David Copperfield.
	Laugh.
	At the very most, roll your eyes.
	89?
	The whole purpose of these laws is power.
	It's to prevent powerful men from taking advantage of weak women.
	So if a big, strong, hulking man picks you up and grabs your ass, then you call the cops because you're not strong enough to beat him up.
	A 89-year-old man can't hurt you.
	You could beat him up with a piece of licorice.
	So if he says, my favorite actor is David Copperfield, and he grabs your buns, laugh.
	It's funny.
	What if it was your wife?
	Stop saying that, by the way.
	Stop trying to make me irrational by bringing my family into it, but I think I would laugh.
	I mean, if it really meant a lot to her, I'd be worried that my wife was losing her mind.
	But I guess I would, like, take him by the back of the wheelchair and push him away?
	Ten feet?
	Or say, stop?
	I don't know.
	It's not a good example of sexual harassment.
	It totally trivializes real cases.
	George Bush Sr.
	touched your buns?
	That's insane.
	Another case I remember, there was this MTV VJ, Ian Robinson.
	He was a metal dude.
	I met him a couple times.
	Awesome guy.
	And it was weird seeing him on MTV as a VJ because he didn't fit the criteria.
	He seemed like one of us.
	One of us weirdos.
	One of us ex-punks.
	He didn't have that sort of slick, I don't know, a lot of those guys have a date rapey kind of vibe to be honest.
	But anyway, Ian Robinson said to Vijay Suchinpak, the rumor was he called her an Asian whore.
	And said that he started singing Me Love You Long Time and she felt sexually harassed so he lost his job and his career.
	Now I think he does video game reviews or something.
	That ended his career forever.
	And I see her sometimes and every time I see her I just think, you effing c-word.
	You vile human being.
	When you think what she gained, I think she sued MTV, I don't know, maybe she got 40 grand.
	So you got that little extra boost that year, you probably partied a little more, went out to dinner more, and you ruined a guy's life for a lie.
	What he actually said was, wow, they really do make you look like a prostitute.
	No, sorry.
	Well, they really do make her look like a prostitute.
	See, they were in the editing bay and they were looking at Soo Chin Pak.
	And I believe she personally complained about having too much makeup on and how they make her look like a prostitute.
	And he had said, well, they really do.
	And the editor laughed.
	But someone heard that this joke was made in the editing room.
	And that snowballed into Asian Whore Me Love You Long Time.
	Ian's career is over.
	Another example of an innocent dude, Donald Trump.
	I won't go over this too much because we've been over it way too much but the joke in the bus was clearly a joke and it was about real groupies and what they let you get away with.
	That somehow became when Trump gets into office you may grab women's genitalia on a whim.
	Genitalia.
	And it really just shows that I think The left isn't aware of groupies.
	I remember Fred Armisen was a bad guy.
	You remember this?
	It said, Fred Armisen is getting a reputation!
	Fred Armisen was just, he's one of the most successful people in the world when you think of him creatively.
	He's a guy in a band that likes to do jokes.
	As a guy in a band who likes punk stuff, he's played with members of The Clash, The Sex Pistols, Husker Du.
	As a comedian, he's been in tons of movies.
	He's had a very successful show, Portlandia.
	He's had a very successful career on SNL.
	The guy is killing it.
	I would be so jealous of him if he had a wife and kids, but I don't get jealous of people who don't have a wife and kids.
	But wow, is he successful.
	And so, women are attracted to that.
	And the article that said, he's getting a reputation!
	Basically, man, he's sleeping with a lot of girls.
	And not marrying them.
	You can only sleep with a girl marrier once, you realize.
	Although some of them push it to four times.
	But this is a famous guy getting laid a lot.
	I mean, would you say the same thing about Motley Crue?
	What is he doing wrong?
	And yes, Donald Trump had groupies.
	And in his monologue with Billy Bush, which, by the way, could have been a lie, too.
	That's a big, tall, famous guy talking to a short, famous guy, wanting them to have a good rapport.
	So he demeaned himself and called himself, I believe, a faggot, a pussy, and said, I bought her a bunch of furniture and she shut me down.
	That, him, that's him, that's what us, us big guys do around little guys.
	And I say us, I mean like, if I was being interviewed by someone who didn't have my kind of reputation, I would want to demean myself to put us on an equal playing field so we could get along better.
	Um, and I think that's what he was doing there.
	He was saying, I'm a loser, I'm a faggot, let's hang out.
	Don't, don't be uncomfortable around me, let's make this a good interview.
	And that's the thing about being private.
	It's none of anyone's business because if you take all my private conversations out of context, you don't know the background there.
	You don't know if it's an inside joke.
	You don't know what I was trying to do.
	You know, maybe the guy who donated to the anti-gay marriage thing is a gay who doesn't want gays to be normalized and likes that they can't get married.
	Maybe the sex is better when you're taboo and he doesn't want gays to be mainstreamed.
	It's none of your business!
	It's none of your business what people say about you behind your back.
	I don't want to know what people say about me behind my back.
	I had my password to my wife's private message boards.
	I thought, I don't want to go on this.
	I don't want to hear her thoughts.
	I don't want to hear if she's thinking about Tom Hardy.
	That doesn't do me any favors.
	That's her personal thoughts.
	But we're so into people's personal thoughts.
	You know why?
	Because we want Cis white males to be rapist Nazis.
	And so, when we get real cases, like Weinstein, Cosby, Toback, and Ailes, we start applying it to other people.
	And that's problematic, because now, we're in this tsunami of cases.
	Like Crystal Castles guy.
	Now, Crystal Castles are a band, an awesome band.
	Hey Dave, if I play something, will it play on the podcast?
	Uh, yep, it will.
	Okay, Crystal Castles are like a dance band.
	It's a chick, sort of like Tinker Bells, what are they called, that other band?
	Sleigh Bells?
	Where it's a beautiful girl singing and then the guy doing all the work with the engineering and the music.
	They're pretty good to listen to.
	I'll just play a clip.
	I mean, you might not like that.
	I think it's awesome.
	And live, it's a trip.
	I told you, I saw them at a music festival and I was thinking, this is better than punk.
	You've outdone punk.
	This is more exciting than punk rock.
	But she's recently come out and claimed that she's been sexually abused.
	I've been afraid, I've been threatened and harassed.
	And as a result of fear, I've been silenced.
	Now, I've been cursed with skepticism with these cases.
	I don't like that.
	When I'm reading about a 16 or a 17 year old being harassed and abused, I want to have the freedom to go kill him!
	To go beat his ass!
	But now, with all these fake cases, like the G.W.
	Bush thing, I go, wait a minute, what happened here?
	Before I pillory this guy?
	So she says, he controlled everything I did.
	I wasn't allowed to have my own phone or my own credit card.
	He decided who my friends were, read through my private emails, restricted my access to social media, regulated everything I ate.
	He berated me and yelled at me, telling me that I was a joke, that all the people that came to our shows were only interested in his instrumentals, and that I was running the band.
	Oh, that I was ruining the band.
	He broke glass shower doors to frighten me.
	He locked me into rooms.
	He told me that my feminism made me a target for rapists, and only he could protect me.
	He forced me to have sex with him.
	Or, he said, I wouldn't be allowed to be in the band anymore.
	That's rape.
	There's rape.
	Is it true, though?
	How much of it is true?
	These feminists have given us homework assignments with every case here, and the problem with Kangaroo Court is, I pay my taxes for someone else to deal with this.
	I'm happy to get involved any way I can, but it's not- I'm not a lawyer.
	And so you present me all this flimsy evidence, and I've got to go through, and now I want to talk to your friends, now I want to talk to his friends, now I want to talk to the tour manager.
	I gotta- I gotta quit my job, I gotta leave my family, just to know if this one case is true.
	Well, we have another one today.
	Knight Landesman, the editor of Artforum.
	Artforum's a fancy art magazine.
	I think this guy's a rich dude.
	And he is, uh, he's told that, uh, we're told that he sexually harassed people.
	I don't know about the culture of the time either.
	Like Terry Richardson, for example.
	If you look at his shoots, you'll see him naked, being fellated, having sex with women.
	You'll also see him with semen all over his face.
	Now, that's disgusting.
	But it also isn't really indicative of a sexual predator.
	It's indicative of a guy who did really raunchy, weird sex acts.
	His photography brought raunchy New York to high fashion.
	So you'd have a woman barfing or something in Yves Saint Laurent, and that had never really been done before, and he was sort of anti-Photoshop, like you'd have a zit on a woman's butt that you normally would never see, especially in high fashion mags.
	But the culture back then was all our friends were dying of heroin overdoses.
	Death was rampant.
	I remember there was this one girl who was crying.
	She came over to his house and she was crying because her friend had just OD'd.
	And he took pictures of her sitting on the bed crying.
	And I remember a lot of our friends were mad at him about that.
	They thought he was taking advantage of her.
	And I said, that's art.
	It's beautiful.
	And I've seen the pictures.
	She's sitting on the bed wrapped in an American flag crying.
	It's awesome art.
	And it's brutally sad.
	So when you employ, you know, 2017 standards on early 2000 punk rock New York City photography, Ryan McGinley, blue chip photographer, gay dude, I bet if you looked a lot of his old pictures you'd see naked guys having sex and you could, you could, if Ryan McGinley, I just thought of this right now, if Ryan McGinley was a straight white male you could easily frame a huge case about how kids were forced to have sex on tour.
	He had these vacations where he'd follow people with cameras and they were encouraged to have sex acts with each other.
	This is true in the sense that he did do these photo shoots.
	It's not true in the sense that implying they were coerced.
	They definitely were not coerced.
	I'm not criticizing Ryan here.
	But I'm saying that to take one era's sexual dynamics and apply them to today's Remarkably stringent values can make a lot of people look bad that aren't bad.
	But again, Weinstein, Cosby, Toback, Ailes are bad.
	So this Crystal Castles guy, I'm left wondering, well, what's going on here?
	And the same with Knight Landsman.
	And the same with John Besch.
	This is a celebrity chef in New Orleans that we just found out today.
	New Orleans.
	He's a celebrity chef on New Orleans.
	You know what I gotta do?
	I gotta do a YouTube video on how to do a Cajun accent, which I can't do very well.
	Because...
	People from New Orleans are real sensitive about people thinking they can do their accent.
	So if I did my terrible Cajun accent and made it an instruction video on YouTube... First of all, when you do a Cajun accent, you have to relax your mouth.
	And you have to talk like a from the bayou, yeah.
	Can you imagine how many down likes you would have?
	Oh my god, the comments would be molten lava.
	People would be so pissed.
	All right.
	Nickelodeon, too, by the way, is in trouble.
	Nickelodeon is rumored to be coming down.
	Now, Nickelodeon has a lot of nerds working at it, I imagine.
	And nerds make money, and they get famous, and they start acting.
	Remember the cartoon Clarence?
	Now, if you're not a dad, you probably don't know this.
	It's a brilliant cartoon.
	And the word on the street was that the guy who created it grabbed one of his top animators and started hugging her.
	So he had to go away and get therapy.
	I think he went to, like, hug rehab for 30 days.
	This was before this culture.
	So it was handled in-house, and he was sort of shooed away.
	And I talked to other people, like Jay Howell at Sanjay and Craig, and I said, uh, he's the guy who did the cartoons for Bob Burgers.
	I always wanted to be a cartoonist, so I know these people.
	And, uh, I said, what's going on there?
	And he said, I don't know, but don't hug your staff, whether they like it or not.
	Don't get involved in that.
	And the Clarence guy did and he was outed for it.
	We don't know if he was guilty or innocent, but that brings us, I guess, to Mark Halperin, the MSNBC guy.
	Now, I just heard about this right before we started this podcast.
	So Dave, have you been researching this?
	I don't know anything at all about the Halperin case.
	Yeah, five women basically accused him of sexually harassing them.
	A few women said, you know, he grabbed their breasts, and one said that he rubbed his dick against them, his hard cock, through his pants.
	Now, he said, uh, yeah, yeah, I did sexually harass a few women, I regret doing that, but I definitely didn't do that.
	I definitely didn't, you know, the more graphic details, he did not admit to.
	Did not rub his dick on... Yeah.
	You know, I can't think... But he doesn't work at MSNBC anymore, obviously.
	I can't think of a relationship where a woman would want me to rub my dick on her.
	Even my wife on our wedding night.
	I think she'd go, what are you doing?
	Like, take it out and let's get to business, but don't rub it on my leg.
	Maybe gaze like that, but I really don't see any woman.
	It's like dick pics.
	I don't see any woman going, ah, what a great dick.
	I'm just going to sit here and look at this dick.
	I think what happens with, you know what my theory is with dick pics?
	I think women send nudes and they go, uh, what if we break up?
	I'm not nuts that that's out there.
	Can you send me some dick pics as collateral?
	So if you launch, if you release the pics I sent you, I can release your penis.
	But I don't, I just don't believe that women sit down and enjoy some dick pics.
	But I think we're at a danger here of creating a really sort of sanitized work environment and I don't think HR is the solution to this.
	Like in that thing you just talked about, rubbing your dick on someone, grabbing their boob, we have laws for that.
	That's assault.
	Going to HR...
	I made a joke once at Fox News, and this is shortly after I said, makeup is stupid.
	I don't think you should get makeup on TV.
	I think it's dumb.
	I think it makes the person look like a weird peach, like Lou Dobbs.
	Love the guy.
	When he gets his makeup on, look at him on screen.
	He has a weird, it looks like a skin-colored crayon, labia, peach.
	And men, my age, his age, we have blotches and stubble and we don't look like peaches.
	And I don't think, there's not this push for men my age to have a uniform skin tone.
	It's not something people are aching for.
	You know, if there's a 22-year-old girl and it's an important date night and she's got a huge, pustulant red dot on her cheek, she wants to cover that with makeup.
	It's a distraction.
	I understand that.
	Or, back in the 90s, when the Sony cameras weren't good at filtering out light, and you had to have huge, giant lights above you, people would sweat.
	So they needed makeup to absorb the sweat so they didn't look like Nathan Thrum, that Martin Short character where he's sweating to death.
	The nervous lawyer.
	But here in 2017, cameras are remarkably advanced.
	Men don't need makeup.
	Anyway, I started saying that at Fox, and I feel like the makeup team there started seeing me as a threat.
	Coincidentally, soon after that I was doing a joke.
	I do this stupid joke.
	I have like 15 jokes.
	I'll probably do a sketch of them on the show, because there's 15 jokes I've been saying since birth that always do well.
	Like, for example, when I'm done at a dinner and I really loved it and I cleaned my plate bare, I'll hand it to the waitress and go, I can't finish this.
	I'm sorry.
	You'll have to tell the chef.
	It's not particularly hilarious, but it's a cute little quip that always gets a chortle.
	With getting miked on TV, I always go, ooh, that's chilly.
	Ooh, that's cold.
	And everyone laughs.
	And then I say, at least my OB-GYN has the courtesy to warm the forceps up with a hot towel first.
	That always gets a laugh from chicks because they're impressed that I know about OB-GYN or it's funny to hear me talk like I go to a gynecologist.
	So, that got a laugh, and then I got drunk with the attention, and I said the following, which I'm not proud of.
	I said, ooh, I can feel my cunt lips crawling up into my body here!
	That thing's freezing!
	Zero laughs.
	And they went to HR after, and I was banned from the building for six months.
	Now, I, uh...
	Totally get Fox banning me because monetarily they're looking at probably a $250,000 suit if they leave me in the building because the makeup artist could say I felt unsafe and then they kept having this horrible sexual predator come back to the studio and say his horrible vagina words in my face and And now this is someone who warned a company that they feel unsafe, and then that woman was still under duress in an unsafe position.
	That's a great case for a lawyer.
	So they probably thought, let's just get her to another floor, get Gavin out of here, and then they won't have a case, because we can say, we tried.
	He is bad news.
	I'm not mad at Fox for that.
	I would do the same thing.
	But it just shows that this is the downside of this kangaroo court climate we have.
	And I remember when I worked at Rebel, Anything went they had zero HR, and this is sorry before rebel media was rebel media It was called Sun News, and it was a like a mini Fox it had Three studios that about 50 desks, and it was that sort of up up a floor and down a floor You know like an elevated sort of a three steps kind of thing.
	It was a beautiful office Wonderful everyone there was cool, and there was no HR, and you could do any joke you wanted and Racist jokes?
	Half the time it was an Indian or a black person saying something racist to a white person.
	But it was anything goes.
	And guess what happens when people are free to be themselves?
	No bonafide racism.
	No bonafide sexual harassment.
	What's going on?
	Are you dating?
	I like a guy.
	Let me see him.
	Let me see him.
	I'd get her Instagram.
	She'd show me the guy.
	He's handsome, but he looks too handsome.
	Is he dumb?
	That was me talking to young girls.
	Whenever I talk to young pretty girls, my first instinct is, let's get you hooked up and breeding, because I'm obviously not going to sleep with her.
	So I want, I want her to match.
	I'm a matchmaker.
	Now that could be construed in modern HR as sexual harassment, but it wasn't there because it isn't.
	And I did this one joke I would regularly do, that you do when there's no HR.
	I would undo my belt and my pants, so they were totally loose, and then I'd be holding them with just like my, the heel of my palm of my hand or something, and I would come up and go, hi, okay, on this meeting on Thursday, what I want to do is, and then I would let my pants fall.
	Now, I'm not letting my bare ass be exposed or anything, I just have my underwear on, but I pretend I was brutally embarrassed, and I go, God damn it!
	And pull my pants up, and go this, Fuckin' belt!
	And I would do my pants back up.
	I'm not sitting there sexually going, hello ladies.
	I'm pretending that my pants keep falling down.
	It's like it's in the same vein as Charlie Chaplin or Buster Keaton.
	It's early 20s slapstick.
	And it would always garner a huge laugh because it was so stupid.
	And I just thought, how great to be in this environment.
	Women were not victims in that environment.
	Visible minorities, of which there were plenty, were not victims in that environment.
	Everyone could just relax and joke around.
	And this was women in a predominantly male workforce being treated like equals.
	And if you're treated like an equal, there's a lot of sexual jokes there.
	I'm sorry.
	I heard about some woman who was talking about sexual harassment recently, a comedy writer, that was on the Gary Shandling Show.
	And she talked about someone who put their penis on her shoulder.
	Now, I've done that to male co-workers in much more relaxed environments than TV news.
	Because it's funny.
	You know, at Vice, I took off all my clothes and put someone's phone in my buttcheeks and then put it back on the receiver and then four days later sent them a picture so they could see that.
	That's probably a brutal crime right now.
	That guy, by the way, just beat me up.
	Which I deserved.
	I had that coming.
	And he got me back, too.
	So, you're not allowed to do both, by the way.
	You can't beat me up and get revenge.
	It's one or the other.
	But I remember we had a meeting at Rebel and we were, it was everyone involved and we all flew up to Toronto and I sat down and I said, basically I just said to you right now, but how much I enjoy working in a place with no HR.
	And then I sat down after I've done my little talk and learned the meeting was to announce we have an HR!
	But, in Rebel's defense, they get investors, and the investors go, okay, what's this?
	Oh, it's Rebel News.
	Okay, what goes on here?
	Oh, they throw urine at Lauren Southern, one of the reporters, and the investor goes, no, thank you.
	I don't want to get sued and lose all my equity.
	So you have to end up, we live in a culture where you have to get an HR in order for investors to feel like their money's in a safe place, which is ridiculous.
	And it's not fun, and it turns everyone into pariahs.
	It makes everyone scared.
	You know, I don't work in a corporate environment, but if I did, if I worked at Fox, for example, I wouldn't joke around with people.
	I wouldn't have a beer at lunch.
	I'd make sure I had a coffee and a large meal before every meeting.
	I wouldn't want to be at a meeting where it was just women.
	I'd be very uncomfortable there.
	That's not a good work environment, ladies.
	And if you sue your boss for something that's not valid, then you're telling bosses not to hire women.
	Now, I'm going to go further with that and say, don't sue your boss.
	Don't file a complaint.
	Ban HR entirely.
	It's a multi-billion dollar industry.
	If someone grabs your breasts, that's assault.
	Call the cops.
	If a man rubs his penis up against you, that's assault.
	An unwanted touch is assault.
	Call the cops.
	You're taking money for it?
	That's prostitution!
	If some guy molests you and is a rapist or a sexual predator and you accept money for that, not only are you being a prostitute, but you're letting this criminal free!
	Which brings me to my conclusion.
	I told you I'd have a solution to all this, and I've alluded to it many times over this podcast.
	But the solution is...
	Call the cops.
	The solution is the law.
	Remember Mattress Girl?
	I know cops.
	She went to the NYPD.
	They saw her texts that she sent to him after the so-called rape.
	And you know what they said to her?
	They said, you better get the hell out of my sight right now.
	Because this is looking a hell of a lot like a false rape allegation, and that's a crime.
	Do you know what you're doing here?
	Do you know that you could end up in jail?
	She, she has, there's texts of him, of her begging for butt sex.
	And her allegation was that he anally raped her.
	That's not a strong case.
	Especially when you're flirting with him after the fact.
	To which, by the way, she goes, there's no perfect victims.
	Oh yeah, you were flirting with him because you were scared he was going to beat you up.
	Is that why you were inviting him to parties?
	No, she clearly made up this story because she was mad about getting dumped and she trivialized all the other rapes for that.
	And we should have known that when she said, I was going to go to the police, but they made me feel unsafe.
	So I'm just going to sue the school, make this about Title IX, and drag a mattress around.
	Thereby trivializing my friend who was stabbed so hard she fainted and had to take AIDS medication on the off chance she had been raped against her will.
	Not that anyone gets raped with their will.
	So, we have the Magna Carta.
	We have a long history of trial and error with these kind of cases.
	And I'm starting to see something different when I see all this.
	When I see everything from the guilty, the Weinstein, the Cosby, the Toback, the Ailes, to the innocent, to the four-year-old boy in Texas, in Waco, Texas, who was punished with an in-school suspension for, uh, because a teacher accused him of sexual harassment.
	A four-year-old!
	To John Solosky in the University of Georgia, to my friends, Kumia Hartman, Charney Richardson, Paul Nungesser, who sued Mattress Girl, George Bush Sr., Casey Affleck.
	All of these cases have a common thread here.
	And that thread is, when we stray from the law that we've all worked on together, We've all democratically come up with these parameters based on the Magna Carta.
	The backbone of our civilized society is based on these laws we came up with together.
	When you abandon that and you say, no, I'm going to go with mob rule, rumor, kangaroo courts, I'm going to go back to the days of the primitives, the savages, pre-pagan basically, I'm going to go back to cave people and just do mob rules.
	Well, when you go back to that, anarchy ensues.
	People's lives are ruined, innocent people get destroyed, and guilty people get away scot-free.
	You know, Weinstein's been getting away f- with this for years by writing checks.
	So your kangaroo court is getting women raped.
	And as a feminist, I no longer accept this.
	As a feminist who loves women, I want people calling the cops.
	I want women calling the cops.
	I don't want any more settlements.
	I don't want any more HR.
	I don't want any more rumors.
	We have a process for this.
	If something terrible happens to you, dial 9-1-1 and handle it.
	I like you more than a friend.

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