The Glenn Beck Program - Ep 278 | The Next Adele, Ella Fitzgerald & Billie Eilish?! | Emma Nissen | The Glenn Beck Podcast
Aired: 2026-02-14
Duration: 01:29:10


=== Breathe, King, and Peace (08:06) ===

[00:00:00]  Lace Radio Network.
[00:00:03]  And now, the Glenn Beck program.
[00:00:05]  Hello, America.
[00:00:06]  You know, we've been fighting every single day.
[00:00:08]  We push back against the lies, the censorship, the nonsense of the mainstream media that they're trying to feed you.
[00:00:14]  We work tirelessly to bring you the unfiltered truth because you deserve it.
[00:00:19]  But to keep this fight going, we need you.
[00:00:22]  Right now, would you take a moment and rate and review the Glenn Beck podcast?
[00:00:25]  Give us five stars and lead a comment because every single review helps us break through big tech's algorithm to reach more Americans who need to hear the truth.
[00:00:34]  This isn't a podcast.
[00:00:36]  This is a movement and you're part of it, a big part of it.
[00:00:39]  So if you believe in what we're doing, you want more people to wake up, help us push this podcast to the top.
[00:00:44]  Rate, review, share.
[00:00:46]  Together, we'll make a difference.
[00:00:48]  And thanks for standing with us.
[00:00:49]  Now let's get to work.
[00:00:52]  Thoughts are just thoughts.
[00:00:53]  They're never true unless they're a fact.
[00:00:56]  Facts are true, but thoughts, they're made up.
[00:00:59]  Music is different than the spoken word or painting or anything else.
[00:01:03]  It's just different.
[00:01:04]  It speaks right directly to the soul.
[00:01:10]  So if you're making up that you're ugly and you're making up that you're beautiful, choose the one that moves you forward, then hinders you.
[00:01:17]  This is the best gym encounter of all time.
[00:01:19]  I know.
[00:01:20]  I was seriously spiritually swole after that.
[00:01:29]  Ready?
[00:01:46]  I have done, I've done interviews and met people that are like my biggest heroes in music.
[00:01:55]  Elton John, Billy Joel, B.B. King.
[00:01:58]  And I swore I'm not going to meet people I really, really like anymore because sometimes like BBC.
[00:02:06]  Does it ruin the magic?
[00:02:07]  Yeah.
[00:02:07]  BB King hit on my wife.
[00:02:10]  And I was like, no, BB, no.
[00:02:13]  It didn't really pay attention to me.
[00:02:14]  He was just like, come on over here and sit on BB's lap.
[00:02:19]  And we've spent a couple of hours together and you are, you're wonderful.
[00:02:24]  You're really wonderful.
[00:02:25]  I appreciate it.
[00:02:26]  Likewise.
[00:02:26]  I discovered you eight months ago.
[00:02:30]  That long ago, really?
[00:02:31]  Yeah, maybe.
[00:02:31]  Yeah.
[00:02:32]  Six months.
[00:02:32]  I don't know what.
[00:02:33]  Time goes by fast.
[00:02:34]  Yeah.
[00:02:34]  And I saw you because you were someplace and you were just riffing on the Hammond B3 and you were singing Gotta Have Faith.
[00:02:45]  Oh, yeah.
[00:02:46]  And you didn't sing the whole song.
[00:02:48]  And I saw that and I was like, oh my gosh, who is this person?
[00:02:52]  And I listened to you.
[00:02:54]  And when I got there and started going through music, the first thing I heard, I don't remember what it was, but I thought, oh, she sounds like Gael.
[00:03:05]  Then I listened to the next song and I went, no, she sounds like Billie Eilish.
[00:03:10]  And then I heard the next song and I thought, she's positively Ella Fitzgerald.
[00:03:16]  And I have found that whenever you can't put somebody in a box, that's when you have real unique talent.
[00:03:25]  Well, thanks.
[00:03:26]  Tell me your story.
[00:03:28]  First of all, play Breathe.
[00:03:34]  The whole song.
[00:03:35]  If you want to.
[00:03:37]  I've got the time.
[00:03:38]  Of course.
[00:03:38]  We'll start with a banger.
[00:03:41]  That's, I mean, first of all, thank you for saying that because, you know, it was interesting when I was putting together the album, I was listening to all of them trying to come up with the order.
[00:03:53]  And I was like, I had written them pretty much within one year of it.
[00:03:59]  But when I was producing them, I produced them with about three different producers.
[00:04:02]  And I felt like it all just kind of sounded different.
[00:04:04]  Like one was very much gospel inspired and one was more poppy.
[00:04:10]  One was clearly more jazzy.
[00:04:12]  And but I think I settled more on like, oh, it's okay for it to be diverse.
[00:04:16]  It's more like a bouquet, you know, because you don't want just something me personally.
[00:04:19]  I don't care for a bouquet of just roses.
[00:04:21]  I like lots of wildflowers.
[00:04:24]  So I appreciate it.
[00:04:25]  And I feel like, you know, people, music has kind of changed in that it can be more than one thing.
[00:04:31]  And that's kind of where we landed with Jesus and Jazz, that it's not just one thing.
[00:04:36]  So this is prayer request: breathe.
[00:04:43]  Fill up my lungs.
[00:04:44]  I breathe the warmth of the sunlight.
[00:04:53]  So they beguid when I breathe.
[00:04:58]  And I see so floating holding on.
[00:05:02]  I believe that when kingdom comes, I'll be completely overcome and breathe.
[00:05:15]  Feels like I'm drowning when it's me.
[00:05:17]  My thoughts and I, just like Sinatra said, I guess I hang my tears out to dry.
[00:05:24]  Gaze, I never dig a never kind of the savior by my side.
[00:05:27]  Just like the queen of soul, I say a little prayer.
[00:05:29]  And on out comes a sigh and I breathe, breathe, breathe, yeah, breathe, breathe, breathe.
[00:05:49]  There's arms or the peace that comes when I'm guiding me some.
[00:05:52]  I look into a face filled with familiarity and let the good air through my lungs.
[00:05:57]  There's arms or the peace that comes when I get the one to watch over me.
[00:06:01]  He's my Lord, my God, my Savior, my King and my remedy.
[00:06:05]  I breathe
[00:06:50]  My voice and I, just like Sinatra said, I guess I ate my cheek is hard to die.
[00:06:57]  Guess I never took into account.
[00:06:59]  I had a savior by my side.
[00:07:01]  Just like the queen of souls, I say a little prayer.
[00:07:04]  And on out comes a sigh and I breathe, breathe, breathe, yeah, breathe, breathe, breathe.
[00:07:21]  Hey, hey, hey, hey I breathe the warmth of the sunlight breathe.
[00:07:52]  Oh, there we got you on.
[00:07:55]  Hi, hi, hi.

=== Faith in the Rising Sun (14:50) ===

[00:08:07]  Where does that come from?
[00:08:09]  It's a conglomeration of a lot of things.
[00:08:12]  I mean, you look like you could be in ABBA.
[00:08:15]  You know what I mean?
[00:08:16]  And then that comes out of you.
[00:08:19]  It's amazing.
[00:08:20]  Well, thanks.
[00:08:21]  Ironically, I don't breathe at all during that song.
[00:08:24]  I find myself gasping.
[00:08:25]  I'm like, but I heard that.
[00:08:27]  I don't think I've ever, I've heard people try to sound like Ella Fitzgerald, but I don't think I've ever heard anybody naturally sound like Ella Fitzgerald.
[00:08:35]  There's parts of that that sound positively.
[00:08:38]  How much of a role did she play in your life?
[00:08:40]  Extremely central to so much of my musicality now.
[00:08:46]  Even if what I do isn't strictly jazz, though it is like almost this closeted part of me that I don't get to do as often as I would like.
[00:08:56]  But I went through a really heavy phase in high school of just listening to Ella Fitzgerald and Frank Sinatra like every day.
[00:09:03]  And it was kind of just my, yeah, she's my muse.
[00:09:08]  So can I ask you?
[00:09:10]  Yeah.
[00:09:11]  I heard that you are doing a tribute to Ella at the Ella Fitzgerald Theater.
[00:09:18]  Yes.
[00:09:18]  Yes.
[00:09:19]  What was what is that like to be asked?
[00:09:22]  I don't know if I fully digested it.
[00:09:25]  It's like some girls, they wait and they plan and they've got Pinterest boards for their wedding.
[00:09:32]  And that is just like the peak of their existence.
[00:09:35]  But this, when Tom, my manager, told me about it, I was like, Tom, well, you're being way too nonchalant about this.
[00:09:40]  This is like the peak of, this is, this is the best thing I'm ever going to be asked to do because Ella Fitzgerald's everything to me.
[00:09:47]  So I'm just so excited.
[00:09:49]  And she like to give some background of my ear training and it's Ella Fitzgerald largely, but before that, it was Gershwin and Debussy and Chopin and all of these classical, not that I played, but I have four older brothers.
[00:10:08]  And the one that's just older than me, he was probably the one that I was listening to practice the most.
[00:10:17]  And he would get up at 5 a.m. and practice every single, he was just very, very dedicated.
[00:10:22]  And he would practice these passages for these very long and difficult, complicated songs over and over and over again.
[00:10:29]  And it would annoy him so bad, but I knew what came next.
[00:10:33]  So I could sing these like complicated Rhapsody in blue note for note.
[00:10:39]  Obviously not every note because there's a lot of fingers going on, but I would sing them and he would, he would hate it because I would sing what was coming next, but he just needed to practice slowly.
[00:10:48]  And I realized when I was thinking back on this just the other week that when he was doing that, we were all at home together.
[00:10:56]  And I was like, Adam, I think that that is why I am like, why I attached myself to jazz and learning scat because the, what makes me so excited about the Ella Fitzgerald thing is I'm so obsessed and love her so much that I learned note for note, a seven minute scat solo that she did live in Berlin in 1960 from How High the Moon.
[00:11:21]  Like I just, I knew it note for note.
[00:11:23]  And sometimes I'm like, how did I do that?
[00:11:25]  And I'm like, oh, it's because I've been doing that since I was little.
[00:11:29]  And so that's like, I'm very, you know, no pressure on myself to do, you know, seven minutes note for note, but I, I'm like, oh, that's what you're going to do.
[00:11:38]  That's my time to shine.
[00:11:39]  That's, yeah.
[00:11:41]  I'm really excited about it because I'm like, this is, you know, some people work for, I've, you know, I'm only 25, but I'm excited for that one for sure.
[00:11:49]  like you are 50 musically.
[00:11:51]  I really do.
[00:11:52]  Thank you.
[00:11:53]  You know, it's interesting you say your brothers played classical because I don't remember what song I was listening to that day.
[00:11:59]  And it was on your, I heard it on your acoustic album.
[00:12:07]  But I felt that like there were hints of classical and I thought you know she's Nina Simone.
[00:12:14]  Yeah.
[00:12:17]  Look, the chords and some of the ways you play the piano, it's just not typical.
[00:12:24]  Oh, well, part of that could be because I quit piano very early on.
[00:12:28]  So I kind of have to fudge the rest of it.
[00:12:30]  But it's, yeah, it does.
[00:12:33]  How much classical training do you have?
[00:12:35]  Vocally, nine weeks.
[00:12:37]  And I'll tell you the story there.
[00:12:38]  Nine weeks.
[00:12:40]  Yeah, there wasn't much to learn there.
[00:12:42]  But I mean, no, no, no.
[00:12:44]  Not meaning that there wasn't much for me to learn, but there wasn't much that I could learn in those nine weeks before.
[00:12:50]  So my vocal chords.
[00:12:52]  I know.
[00:12:52]  It's a big story.
[00:12:53]  Okay.
[00:12:54]  Can just why only nine weeks?
[00:12:56]  Well, I'll tell you.
[00:12:56]  So, and this kind of goes into me writing music for the first time.
[00:13:02]  So grew up in a very musical family, obviously.
[00:13:05]  My brother, who's the second oldest, taught me how to read chords.
[00:13:09]  And I think once I read chords, I kind of quit on piano.
[00:13:12]  But I did take piano growing up and I could read music, but I've since, my skills are lacking in that department.
[00:13:20]  So I read chords and I started to find songs that I really loved and learn them and then created my own.
[00:13:28]  Yeah.
[00:13:28]  Yeah, definitely play by ear and then just relying on chords.
[00:13:31]  But so I was fortunate enough to get a scholarship to Northern Arizona University, their vocal program.
[00:13:38]  And I don't know that I quite comprehended how opera that would be.
[00:13:43]  And so it wasn't like my jam necessarily, but I was like, I was in it and I was excited for it.
[00:13:52]  But it meant that I was singing like six hours a day between practices and choirs and ear training classes and diction classes.
[00:13:58]  They all had some element of vocalization and singing and or just talking or in my extracurriculars.
[00:14:05]  So what ended up happening was nine weeks into that first semester, I hemorrhaged my right vocal cord.
[00:14:10]  And then yes.
[00:14:12]  Did you, did you feel it?
[00:14:15]  No.
[00:14:15]  Did you know this is what you were to do yet?
[00:14:19]  No.
[00:14:20]  Okay.
[00:14:20]  So it wasn't like, oh my gosh, my whole life is over.
[00:14:23]  Well, yes, but it was a perfect segue.
[00:14:27]  So at that time in my life, I felt pretty connected spiritually to like what God wants me to do, I will do.
[00:14:36]  And what God's plan for me is I want to, you know, chase after that.
[00:14:41]  And so I kind of had this like, if there's a perfect window of opportunity for me to do something that God wants, like I want to follow that.
[00:14:49]  And so I had that kind of in the back of my head.
[00:14:51]  And it was, I mean, you could call it by chance that my vocal coach was like, oh, the ENTs, they need mock patients to learn scoping throats.
[00:15:00]  Will you go be a mock patient?
[00:15:02]  And it just so happened that it was like just a few days prior to that that I had lost my voice and I didn't realize that that was the hemorrhage.
[00:15:08]  And so I go in and they're like, oh, it looks like you've hemorrhaged your vocal cords, but because we're just students, you should go get another opinion.
[00:15:14]  But stop talking, stop singing.
[00:15:16]  You'll probably need to drop out of college.
[00:15:18]  So my immediate reaction was like, oh my gosh, this is horrible.
[00:15:20]  I thought that God was leading me to college.
[00:15:23]  And like I got this scholarship.
[00:15:24]  I was the first freshman to ever get into the jazz program there.
[00:15:28]  And I felt like I was, you know, crushing it.
[00:15:31]  But then immediately I get this like, this is, this is my window of opportunity to do something better that I don't yet understand.
[00:15:39]  I just got to have faith.
[00:15:40]  Good for you.
[00:15:41]  So that was like, I was like, is that where that song comes from?
[00:15:43]  So a year later, I'm living in Sweden, pandemic starts.
[00:15:47]  And I'm like, I felt I had been led there by God.
[00:15:50]  And I was like, this is my thing that I'm doing.
[00:15:51]  Because you're serving.
[00:15:52]  You're, you're serving God.
[00:15:53]  And you're, right?
[00:15:55]  And I was, yeah, I was on it.
[00:15:56]  I was doing a church mission at that time because I just kind of changed course.
[00:15:59]  I was like, okay, I won't do college.
[00:16:01]  So I decided to do a church mission.
[00:16:03]  And nine weeks into that, pandemic starts.
[00:16:06]  And I was like, well, I thought that God wanted me to do this.
[00:16:09]  And I get that same like, well, this is, this is the window of opportunity to do something better.
[00:16:16]  I, you know, I just got to have faith.
[00:16:19]  And for the first time in my life, I'd never written a song, but I went over the piano.
[00:16:24]  I just, I need to say this again because I heard this the other day after listening to you and really listening to you over and over again.
[00:16:32]  And then I find out you had never written a song until five years ago.
[00:16:37]  Yeah.
[00:16:38]  Isn't that crazy?
[00:16:39]  That's nuts.
[00:16:40]  It is nuts.
[00:16:41]  That's nuts.
[00:16:42]  I kind of still don't believe it.
[00:16:43]  Sometimes.
[00:16:43]  And you like didn't have a desire.
[00:16:45]  You didn't want to, right?
[00:16:46]  No, I, you know, I don't think that I had anything to write about up until that point.
[00:16:52]  And, you know, when I was in, even now, obviously, like Taylor Swift is huge.
[00:16:56]  And like Taylor Swift was the writer.
[00:16:58]  And like, I was just like, I don't really have anything to write about that's going to be like there was no, I never dated anyone.
[00:17:05]  So I had no love stories, like breakups to write about.
[00:17:08]  And I wasn't probably that deep or meta that like I wasn't writing anything.
[00:17:13]  And I just kind of thought like it was cheesy and it was every girl's pipe dream to just like be a writer with their guitar.
[00:17:18]  So I was like, eh, whatever.
[00:17:20]  And, but, you know, I grew up listening to the greats like Stevie Wonder and Billy Joel.
[00:17:25]  And, and there's a lot of storytelling in that.
[00:17:27]  And my, my dad's a storyteller.
[00:17:29]  And so I felt like.
[00:17:31]  Your dad did a famous animation movie.
[00:17:33]  Swan Princess.
[00:17:34]  Yeah, Swan Princess.
[00:17:35]  Yeah, he did.
[00:17:36]  He's got all of the, you know, the, like, yeah, what they use to work on animation in his, in his room.
[00:17:44]  It's just so cool.
[00:17:45]  And he was the voice of Derek in the third one.
[00:17:47]  Wow.
[00:17:49]  So that's always fun.
[00:17:50]  But he, yeah, my dad's a storyteller.
[00:17:52]  And so I, I feel like I grew up, you know, telling lots of stories through different facets of my life.
[00:18:00]  But you're in, so you're in Sweden.
[00:18:02]  I'm in Sweden.
[00:18:04]  And now it's COVID.
[00:18:05]  And now it's locked down.
[00:18:07]  And I'm like, well, what story do I have to tell?
[00:18:09]  And it really just kind of came from my, I was like, well, we got to have faith.
[00:18:13]  And so I felt like, oh, the way, because at that point, I didn't really know if I was going to be a singer.
[00:18:17]  It still felt a little out of reach and maybe unrealistic.
[00:18:21]  And I also just, you know, wanted at my core to be somebody that was there for other people, someone that people could relate to, someone like an angel to other people.
[00:18:32]  Like, how can I help?
[00:18:33]  And I felt like those two things slipped together in writing that first song.
[00:18:38]  And I remember I was like, you know, I've always just kind of had a little like gospel choir on the back of my head, but I was like, gotta have faith.
[00:18:45]  And I walk over the piano, faith in the Lord.
[00:18:49]  And I was like, oh, and I, I just remember just being filled with so much joy at that point.
[00:18:54]  And it just wrote itself.
[00:18:55]  Oh, sorry.
[00:18:56]  I'll tell you, that is when I saw you playing the Habit B3.
[00:19:00]  That's what I felt.
[00:19:01]  Yeah.
[00:19:01]  I felt this pure joy coming out of you.
[00:19:04]  It was amazing.
[00:19:05]  No, for sure.
[00:19:05]  Will you play it?
[00:19:06]  I will.
[00:19:07]  Let's see.
[00:19:09]  So this is a song really kind of to you.
[00:19:12]  Oh, for sure.
[00:19:13]  This was my anthem that I think carried me through a lot of anything that came my way.
[00:19:20]  I was like, well, we got to have faith.
[00:19:21]  And that just kind of became my thing.
[00:19:25]  And it's applicable to just about anything.
[00:19:32]  I look around and begin to count my.
[00:19:36]  It's not the right lyrics.
[00:19:37]  What is it?
[00:19:39]  First one, I should know it.
[00:19:40]  No, it is.
[00:19:41]  Oh, it's Reaching Out.
[00:19:42]  Reaching Out.
[00:19:43]  God bless you.
[00:19:52]  I'm reaching out.
[00:19:54]  The sun keeps on setting.
[00:19:58]  Painting me gold, but bringing on the blue.
[00:20:03]  As I look to the stars, I can feel the tears start swelling.
[00:20:08]  And I cry, help me, Lord, what am I to do?
[00:20:14]  I gotta have faith.
[00:20:16]  Faith in the Lord, Lord, that the sun will rise tomorrow and I'll be stronger than before.
[00:20:25]  I gotta have faith.
[00:20:28]  Faith in the Lord.
[00:20:31]  That these trying times will help me.
[00:20:34]  And I can reap my reward.
[00:20:37]  I look around and begin to count my blessings for one per point.
[00:20:43]  And I see what God has done.
[00:20:47]  My heart is full and I don't need to keep on guessing.
[00:20:53]  I am a child of God, even after all is said and done.
[00:20:58]  But I got him by faith.
[00:21:01]  Faith in the Lord that the sun will rise tomorrow and I'll be stronger than before.
[00:21:09]  I gotta have faith.
[00:21:12]  Faith in the Lord.
[00:21:15]  That these trying times will help me.
[00:21:18]  And I can reap my reward.
[00:21:20]  Oh, and I know that my Savior's walking with me by my side in my heart and in my mind.
[00:21:32]  He's the light of my life that I need to survey.
[00:21:38]  And I'm all that I am because of him.
[00:21:44]  And I'm gonna have faith.
[00:21:47]  Faith in the Lord, Lord.
[00:21:50]  That the sun will rise tomorrow.
[00:21:53]  And I'll be stronger than before.
[00:21:56]  Faith.
[00:21:58]  Faith in the Lord.
[00:22:01]  That this giant dias will help me.
[00:22:04]  And I can reap my reward.
[00:22:06]  I gotta have, I gotta, gotta, gotta.
[00:22:09]  I gotta have faith in the Lord.
[00:22:12]  Now the sun will rise tomorrow.
[00:22:15]  And I'll be stronger than before.
[00:22:18]  He's the light of my life that I need to serve.
[00:22:24]  Why am I, and I'm only here because I.
[00:22:48]  So when you write that and you sing it and you've got it nailed, you think?
[00:22:53]  Yeah.
[00:22:55]  What did you think?
[00:22:57]  When you finished what?

=== Flawed Burna Meets Prepared Defense (03:07) ===

[00:22:58]  I don't.
[00:22:59]  Honestly, so on my mission, I just had Facebook and it was like my mom and probably some other fan accounts that she had created that like I didn't have anybody following me.
[00:23:08]  And I kind of, I had to get over this fear that people were going to judge me for being a girl that was singing because I never wanted to be the type of person that was like, hey guys, here's a song that I wrote and I really like it and I hope you like it too.
[00:23:18]  You know what I'm saying?
[00:23:19]  So I just didn't want to be that person that like was self-centered and thought that I was a great singer and that everyone would benefit from listening to me.
[00:23:26]  But then I realized like once I started writing about my spiritual journey and like my imperfections in that journey, I realized, oh, it's not about me.
[00:23:34]  It's about the collective, you know, bringing people together and the experiences that we share.
[00:23:41]  And you and I talked before we started recording about we're all so much alike and we all hide so much because we think we're flawed and nobody else is.
[00:23:52]  We're all flawed and we're all flawed in many times exactly the same way.
[00:23:58]  I could tell you probably a lot of stories of me embarrassing myself with the few celebrities that I've met and you will see how flawed I truly show up as.
[00:24:08]  I met John Legend last December.
[00:24:11]  I was opening for him with Adam Blackstone.
[00:24:15]  Straight up, just I had a runny nose, didn't think it through.
[00:24:19]  My body took over and I wiped my nose right before shaking his hand.
[00:24:23]  And everybody, we all just like, it was like time stopped.
[00:24:25]  And I was like, oh, there's snot on my hand.
[00:24:28]  And like brought attention to it.
[00:24:29]  It was horrible.
[00:24:30]  It was awkward.
[00:24:31]  Everybody hated it.
[00:24:31]  My dad was like, no, you've ruined this.
[00:24:34]  And I was like, well, whatever.
[00:24:35]  And so now at my shows, I'm like, I just got to tell you, I'm not any cooler than you just because I'm up here.
[00:24:41]  I have snot on my hand when I see John Legend.
[00:24:43]  So it's like, I don't know.
[00:24:45]  I just think being authentic is so much more relatable than what you think people want you to be or what you think people want to be, you know?
[00:24:55]  You know that I'm a gun owner and that I understand the importance of being prepared for any emergency situation.
[00:25:01]  I think you're the same.
[00:25:02]  But I also know that according to law enforcement statistics, 99% of all situations where force may be required, it doesn't require lethal force.
[00:25:11]  It's vital to be prepared for that 1% of situations with a gun.
[00:25:16]  But it's also important to be ready for everything else.
[00:25:18]  And that's why I want to tell you about Burna.
[00:25:20]  They are the leader in less lethal self-defense.
[00:25:23]  A Burna launcher is legal in all 50 states, requiring no background check, no permits, no waiting periods.
[00:25:29]  As long as you're over 18, you can own one and carry one anywhere.
[00:25:32]  And I personally own one.
[00:25:34]  Every member of my family owns a Burna launcher.
[00:25:37]  My kids keep them in their backpacks and, you know, in the college campuses at work.
[00:25:42]  My wife has one in her purse.
[00:25:43]  I have one in the small of my back.
[00:25:46]  Burna, they believe in your right to defend yourself, but also be completely prepared for that.
[00:25:52]  So take action now.
[00:25:53]  Protect what's important.
[00:25:54]  Visit Burna, B-Y-R-N-A.com and get a 10% discount off your purchase.
[00:25:58]  That's burna.com slash Glenn.
[00:26:00]  Stand together with Burna where safety meets responsibility and preparation meets peace of mind.

=== Music Speaks For Itself (14:17) ===

[00:26:06]  The FBI has been warning about a type of real estate fraud on the rise called title theft.
[00:26:11]  And your equity is the target.
[00:26:13]  And here's how it works.
[00:26:14]  Criminals will forge your signature on a single document.
[00:26:18]  One, they use a fake notary stamp and they file it with the county.
[00:26:22]  And just like that, on record, they own your home.
[00:26:25]  Now, using your home ownership, they take out loans against the equity or even sell your property.
[00:26:31]  You won't know about it until foreclosure or collection notices start showing up in the mail.
[00:26:36]  Find out today if you're already a victim and stop this from happening.
[00:26:40]  Use the promo code Glenn at home titlelock.com and you'll get a free title history report and a free trial of their million-dollar triple lock protection.
[00:26:50]  That's 24-7 monitoring of your title records, urgent alerts if any changes are made and fraud occurs.
[00:26:56]  If it does occur, they have a U.S.-based restoration team that'll spend up to a million dollars to fix it.
[00:27:01]  So don't be a victim.
[00:27:02]  Protect your equity today.
[00:27:03]  Go to hometitalock.com.
[00:27:04]  Use the promo code Glenn.
[00:27:06]  Get a free title history report and a free trial of their triple lock protection.
[00:27:09]  Home title lock.com promo code Glenn.
[00:27:14]  So I see people start in Christian music and I wouldn't put your music into Christian.
[00:27:22]  I don't think you have a box.
[00:27:24]  And I think in some ways, Christian music, there's praise and worship music, but you don't fit in that box.
[00:27:33]  And I don't know why it has to be called Christian because, you know, I listen to some popular music and it's not, I don't call it pornography.
[00:27:43]  Yeah.
[00:27:44]  But it is, you know, just because the lyrics are one way or another.
[00:27:50]  Yeah, I think genres really come down to like identifiable community.
[00:27:57]  But so like when my music gets lobbed into the Christian genre, which technically it is, because we do, we talk about spirituality.
[00:28:05]  We talk about, you know, Christ and a lot of themes in Christianity.
[00:28:11]  But I have a lot of listeners and a lot of, you know, people that have discovered my music that either aren't religious at all.
[00:28:17]  You just did a tour in Europe, if I'm not mistaken.
[00:28:19]  Yeah.
[00:28:20]  Yeah.
[00:28:21]  That's not a big, you know, I know.
[00:28:22]  Well, it's interesting because I thought I grew up thinking that Europe was more secular and kind of agnostic atheist, especially Sweden, where my, you know, heritage is from.
[00:28:34]  And I got there and I was, because I was connected to the Christian scene through a friend, I went and did a Christian festival.
[00:28:44]  I was like, oh, there's a lot of Christians here.
[00:28:46]  But so I think you find your people, but it's been really cool that me finding my people, there has not been a single like uniform fan, you know?
[00:28:56]  It's just been a lot of different walks of life because, you know, we talked about this a little bit earlier that you can write a song for one purpose or from one piece of inspiration or one moment in your life, but it's up to the listener.
[00:29:09]  It's like art.
[00:29:10]  And I know you collect a lot of art that like they may have intended to convey this message, but you may feel something deeply that is based on your version of reality and what you've experienced up to that point.
[00:29:19]  So that's why I'm like, I think I got over that fear of being that girl that was like, hey guys, here's a song because I was like, this is something that came from me.
[00:29:28]  Do with it what you will.
[00:29:29]  And what you do with it is going to be beautiful.
[00:29:32]  And we're allowed to be together in that.
[00:29:34]  So there's a, you know, Michael Bublay and I became friends before he was Michael Bouble.
[00:29:43]  And I remember going to see him in concert early on.
[00:29:47]  It was the first time he was at Radio City Music Hall.
[00:29:50]  And he walks out on stage and before he walks out, I'm talking to people and they're from all over the world, all over the world.
[00:29:56]  And they had traveled all over the world and seen him several times.
[00:30:01]  And I had known his music, but I had never seen him live.
[00:30:06]  And you don't have to like standards to like Michael Bouble.
[00:30:12]  The key to Michael Bouble is joy.
[00:30:15]  He is so joyful the whole time.
[00:30:19]  And I think that cuts across all genres.
[00:30:26]  I think especially about like jazz standards, the way I, the reason I gravitate towards those is because there is a feeling that is almost intangible from those.
[00:30:37]  And it's like the nostalgia, the joy.
[00:30:40]  And I know that you're saying Michael Bouble radiates that joy and not necessarily the music, but I think.
[00:30:45]  Yeah, it's he's so happy to be there and to do it.
[00:30:51]  Totally.
[00:30:51]  You know what I mean?
[00:30:52]  He just, it just is like that is just, he loves it.
[00:30:56]  Yeah.
[00:30:56]  And you can feel that.
[00:30:57]  Yeah.
[00:30:58]  Your music, you still feel that from you, but also the lyrics and everything else.
[00:31:03]  Yeah.
[00:31:03]  Yeah.
[00:31:03]  I think I've received that from several people that despite maybe, you know, especially some international fans that maybe when I'm singing really fast or I don't enunciate very much, the inspiration coming from those jazz, the nostalgia, the way they paint pictures with those beautiful, you know, poetry and words, I'm like, well, that's what I want to convey in my music.
[00:31:26]  And I feel like I've done a successful job to this point because of the reactions that I've got.
[00:31:31]  I didn't even know this was talking about this or I didn't even know what this was talking about.
[00:31:35]  And I felt this and I'm like, man, music speaks for itself, you know, and it's like, that's up to them.
[00:31:40]  When did you hit?
[00:31:44]  When did it explode?
[00:31:45]  When did it explode?
[00:31:46]  Because it exploded with that song, right?
[00:31:48]  No, with Breathe, the first one that I sang.
[00:31:51]  I think because it was so niche, it was, I posted a video two Novembers ago.
[00:31:56]  So November of 23.
[00:31:59]  I was like, have you heard of Christian jazz?
[00:32:02]  And it just kind of exploded.
[00:32:05]  I was not expecting it.
[00:32:06]  And I, yeah, it was just posted on Instagram and I thought, oh, this is fun.
[00:32:10]  People might like it.
[00:32:12]  And they did.
[00:32:13]  And then it brought us to, I started getting lots of DMs for the first time.
[00:32:20]  I was like, oh, this is crazy.
[00:32:22]  And one of those people was Adam Blackstone, who is the musical director.
[00:32:27]  He's been involved with, you know, the Super Bowl, Nikki Minaj, Rihanna, Beyonce, Stevie Wonder.
[00:32:32]  He works with everybody.
[00:32:33]  Just an incredible and an incredible person too, to know in the industry.
[00:32:37]  But he texted or he DM'd me on Instagram and was like, who are you?
[00:32:41]  Come to New York and sing at Blue Note Jazz Club.
[00:32:44]  I didn't.
[00:32:45]  Yes.
[00:32:45]  So I didn't know.
[00:32:47]  I live under a rock somewhat because I kind of live in the 1940s and I don't know anything current.
[00:32:53]  So I looked up Adam Blackstone and I was like, oh, he's a big deal.
[00:32:59]  And then I like, cause I don't know anything.
[00:33:02]  Then I looked up Blue Note Jazz Club and I was like, oh, it's a big deal.
[00:33:06]  But you didn't know.
[00:33:06]  No, I don't know anything.
[00:33:08]  Well, that's not true.
[00:33:09]  But like about the industry, I was very, I've been very slow to learn like, oh, this is important.
[00:33:14]  You should know this because I'm just flying by the seat of my pants on a lot of, on a lot of stuff, going by the vibes, you know, jazz.
[00:33:20]  But I, and I think maybe because I was a singer, he thought I was based in New York, but he was like, come and sing with me next week or next month in jazz at Blue Note.
[00:33:31]  And I was like, okay.
[00:33:32]  And he was like, you're based in New York.
[00:33:34]  And I was like, yes.
[00:33:35]  I was like, I'll be there.
[00:33:37]  Like anywhere that you want me to be.
[00:33:39]  It's like, I'll be there.
[00:33:40]  And we had such a good time.
[00:33:42]  We, he asked me if there was anything I had written.
[00:33:44]  And I was like, is this how this goes?
[00:33:46]  Like, he was so incredible.
[00:33:48]  So we ended up singing Love Like You and then a Christmas song that he had written with a, for, on his LP that was for Andre Day.
[00:33:57]  And we just had a great time.
[00:34:00]  I met Queen Latifah there.
[00:34:02]  Wasn't as awkward.
[00:34:02]  No snot involved.
[00:34:04]  But yeah, I just, yeah, I had a great time.
[00:34:07]  It was the energy was palpable.
[00:34:09]  And we, we just grooved.
[00:34:11]  And I was like, do you want to, I don't know the rules to a lot of this game.
[00:34:16]  So I was like, do you want to record this?
[00:34:18]  Cause I was like, I don't know.
[00:34:18]  You just ask.
[00:34:20]  Maybe it's not, maybe you shouldn't ask people that are that high up if they can do you that favor.
[00:34:26]  But I was like, do you want to produce this?
[00:34:28]  And he was like, yeah, that would be awesome.
[00:34:31]  My studio's in Philly.
[00:34:32]  And I was like, great.
[00:34:33]  I can live in Philly.
[00:34:35]  I'm like, I cannot be there.
[00:34:37]  I'm located in Philly.
[00:34:39]  So, and so, yeah, he ended up producing that song.
[00:34:41]  And it was just like, I think that was kind of my introduction into kind of his sphere because he really took me into, he really took me under his wing.
[00:34:51]  And he's been a really good contact because he's just so kind and he just wants people to succeed.
[00:34:55]  So I just, I feel like, oh, yeah, this isn't, this isn't hard.
[00:34:59]  This isn't scary.
[00:35:00]  It's just about having fun.
[00:35:01]  And so, yeah.
[00:35:04]  So what came, what came next?
[00:35:06]  So when I moved back to the States after Sweden, I started, I knew that I wanted to record the music I had been writing.
[00:35:14]  And I thought, it's still kind of a big dream.
[00:35:18]  So I had written just about every, I've written probably about 26 Christian songs and I'll end up releasing 24-ish.
[00:35:29]  I've got two albums worth and I wrote the majority of those minus maybe three or four from March of 2020 until like August of 21 in that year and a half.
[00:35:43]  I just like that was how I spent my time.
[00:35:45]  And so I came home and like September-ish, I picked one song and that was Hear Him.
[00:35:52]  I did a Kickstarter.
[00:35:53]  People donated.
[00:35:54]  I was able to go to Nashville and record three more songs, met some great people, and then got picked up by a label, then was able to do the rest of play hear him and tell me, tell me a story.
[00:36:07]  The serious, the story of Hear Him was truly just that I don't know.
[00:36:17]  I think we talk about, like I grew up, the culture of speaking about the spirit was still small voice.
[00:36:28]  And, you know, it was a phrase, hear him, the voice is soft and low.
[00:36:32]  That was kind of like ruminating in my mind.
[00:36:34]  Just, it's not always loud.
[00:36:36]  It's not always obvious.
[00:36:38]  And that was what I felt was there right after I was walking out of the hospital.
[00:36:42]  I felt like it was a, it was a small, just like kind of like, just got to have faith.
[00:36:46]  You know, it's just kind of like in the back of my head.
[00:36:47]  And I was like, yeah, you're so right.
[00:36:50]  And I think that's why people miss it.
[00:36:52]  Yeah, maybe.
[00:36:53]  They miss it because they think it's just them.
[00:36:55]  It's going to be so obvious.
[00:36:56]  But I think too, a lot of things is like, it's up to you.
[00:37:00]  My beliefs now, as I've just kind of grown and changed and reconstructed, deconstructed all of the above.
[00:37:07]  I think too, that the spirit and how you see God and Jesus or something greater is up to you.
[00:37:13]  You choose to open your eyes to answers, to blessings, to goodness.
[00:37:18]  And so that's kind of, you know, it's like you will hear what you're looking for.
[00:37:25]  And if you're only looking for something to be a grand gesture and for God to just rain down fire and these big miracles, it's like, well, you might, you might be missing all these small open doors just because the one that you want is closed.
[00:37:38]  So that was kind of the thought behind this one.
[00:37:43]  Out of the water, I fill up my lungs.
[00:37:49]  And I say to the Father, what have I done to deserve all this loving?
[00:37:58]  I can't understand.
[00:38:01]  But I know that he hears me because I get this answer.
[00:38:08]  Hear him.
[00:38:11]  Though the voice may be soft and low, hear him and you'll know.
[00:38:21]  Hear him, strive with all your heart and soul.
[00:38:27]  He knows out of the darkness and into the light.
[00:38:38]  This weight on my shoulders begins to take flight.
[00:38:43]  I can feel my heart growing.
[00:38:46]  Yes, I feel it inside.
[00:38:49]  And I know that it'll carry me through the darkest nights.
[00:38:56]  Hear him.
[00:38:58]  Though the voice may be soft and low, hear him, man.
[00:39:04]  You'll know.
[00:40:21]  She's Adele.

=== The Sound of Scat (02:58) ===

[00:40:23]  That's such a high compliment.
[00:40:25]  I thank you.
[00:40:27]  You're so gracious with your compliments.
[00:40:28]  No, I don't say what I don't believe.
[00:40:32]  It's remarkable.
[00:40:33]  You know, I'm listening to, and this may be a really odd question that maybe nobody can relate to.
[00:40:39]  You have, and I don't even know if this is the right language, tonality.
[00:40:46]  The way you form your words, the way you use your mouth, it's did you just learn that from listening to people?
[00:40:56]  Because it's almost as if, and maybe it comes from scat, maybe.
[00:41:03]  I've heard you do your mouth trumpet and you absolutely sound like a trumpet.
[00:41:09]  But there are times where the way you form your words in your mouth, it sounds almost like different instruments.
[00:41:16]  And it just, it gives you this unique sound.
[00:41:20]  Yeah, I think I've spent a lot of my high school and listening to jazz, imitating and trying to find.
[00:41:31]  I don't know that I was ever trying to like consciously find what does eminiscence sound like because I think I am just a conglomeration of the things that I've grown up on.
[00:41:41]  But I've learned to kind of imitate different sounds.
[00:41:44]  And I truly have this thing that like if a truck goes by and honks its horn, I will subconsciously, like if it's like, I'll be like, like I just have to, I have to, like, yeah.
[00:41:55]  Or if like someone will like, I'll hear that and I'll go, I have to like get the right note.
[00:42:00]  I have to like, you know, I have to, it's like a, I don't know, an audio.
[00:42:05]  Not that, but yeah, but it's just like an, I, I don't even know.
[00:42:09]  I just find myself, and it gets me into trouble because sometimes if somebody, one time I was in high school history class and my teacher said the word rhinoceros weird and I didn't mean to, but I was like, rhinoceros, and it was dead quiet.
[00:42:22]  And I was like, I am so sorry.
[00:42:24]  I was like, I cannot believe I just did that.
[00:42:26]  But it was subconscious.
[00:42:27]  And I think I just spend a lot of my life repeating and trying to figure out, oh, can I do that?
[00:42:32]  You know?
[00:42:32]  And so.
[00:42:34]  Did you listen to the instruments or did you listen to people?
[00:42:38]  Can you do a little mouth trumpet?
[00:42:40]  Yeah.
[00:42:40]  This was something I discovered in third grade.
[00:42:42]  I was like, I'm not even kidding.
[00:42:44]  It was just like me probably just trying to be more annoying.
[00:42:48]  But let's see, with lip gloss, it'll be.
[00:42:53]  It's just a thing.
[00:43:13]  It's a party trick.
[00:43:15]  It's just a party trick.
[00:43:16]  Yeah, but that one's fun, fun for sure.
[00:43:18]  But yeah, I found myself kind of just repeating.

=== The Beauty of Repeating (09:27) ===

[00:43:21]  And I feel like I'm conscious of the emotion that it evokes when I hear something.
[00:43:27]  Like we were talking about Samara Joy earlier and just some of the greats in jazz.
[00:43:31]  When they come into a song that's like you just hear like, for example, At Last by Edda James, that that first I wanna like.
[00:43:43]  You hear that ah, and it's kind of nasling like ah, but you know what's coming and it just evokes this like wanna Sunday kind of love and it just feels like falling in love, and so for me I've been like okay well, if I'm gonna sing a note, then I'm gonna ah, and that's for me reminiscent of Eda and anyone else.
[00:44:07]  Yeah, I think, if I were to take my best guess at what I'm doing, you're.
[00:44:12]  You wrote, I think I um, one of my favorite love songs is um, till that day No Ray, Ray Charles um, I can't remember the name of it now, but it, you know, I love you in a place where there is no space or time and it's stuff like that.
[00:44:30]  It's like we don't write like that anymore.
[00:44:32]  I know honestly no, like no shade to Taylor Swift, but I don't hear that in her songs, but you do.
[00:44:38]  You know the uh, what is the love song that I wrote it down here, till that day.
[00:44:44]  I love that song.
[00:44:47]  That is so pretty because I love the lyrics in it.
[00:44:50]  It's like I love you in a place where there's no space and time.
[00:44:52]  Yeah yeah, I don't even know well, I know where I was in that moment where I had written that I was so hurt and I think I, I think in that moment I had, I would say that I, I was in love in that, like I, I had fallen in love with somebody and it was not like reciprocated in the way maybe, that my expectations had set up for myself but, and it was.
[00:45:18]  You know, all I had ever listened to was jazz and I had like fallen in love with this guy and I, and it got my heart broken and I was like well, i'm gonna write exactly how that feels, and so it's just like a very nostalgic um, like I wanted to paint the picture of all the things that you feel when you're, when you're in, in love.
[00:45:39]  And who produced this on the album?
[00:45:42]  Uh, so I did this in Nashville with my producer, Seth Mosley.
[00:45:45]  He really well produced.
[00:45:47]  It won't sound the same doing it?
[00:45:49]  No, it won't unfortunately, because we don't have the vocoder and the vocoder is the secret ingredient.
[00:45:53]  Oh, it's really amazing it, but the lyrics and the music are enough, play please.
[00:46:00]  I, it's been a minute since I, since i've reminisced about this song, so i'll have to just um, you have to look it up.
[00:46:09]  I have to look it up because I so.
[00:46:11]  Do you think there's ever going to come a time where you're sick of the songs that you?
[00:46:15]  Yes, I already am, I already are?
[00:46:18]  I know that's horrible to say, but I, i've got to be honest.
[00:46:21]  Sometimes I, I sing songs, but this is the beauty of showing it, new people as they get to reintroduce it to you.
[00:46:27]  I uh, I did an interview just just like this with Tony Bennett and I know, and uh, and it's the last few minutes and he hasn't done, I left my heart and I said I hate to ask you this because you know you must.
[00:46:45]  Maybe you're sick of it yeah, but I can't.
[00:46:48]  And he jumped ugly on me real quick.
[00:46:51]  He was like, why would I be sick of that song?
[00:46:53]  And i'm like no, I didn't mean it that way.
[00:46:55]  What he sang, it was unbelievable.
[00:46:57]  Oh, i'm sure yeah, but no, I think, and it's just maybe because I, i've kind of gotten into the rhythm of doing them.
[00:47:05]  But that's why I like doing stuff live is because, especially with jazz or jazzy elements to things is because they never really sound the same.
[00:47:11]  Yeah um, but yeah this, this one goes kind of high.
[00:47:17]  we will do our best here everybody's talking about the magic it is to be loved but i don't know it No, I don't know it.
[00:47:42]  Everybody's showing off their life with the lens rose curling around, but I won't show it.
[00:47:52]  Till the day you looked at me with such delirious love in your eyes Till you talk to me like it's the last day, last day of our lives Talk with me forever like we've been hypnotized
[00:48:21]  say goodbye.
[00:48:25]  Everybody's running round with their fingers laced and adorned, but I don't buy it.
[00:48:33]  No, I don't buy it.
[00:48:37]  And every smile I ever seen seems to be set free by this fall in love.
[00:48:44]  But I wouldn't show it.
[00:48:48]  I'm sure to the day you looked at me with such In your Do you walk with me like it's the last day last day of our lives Do you want me?
[00:49:17]  say goodbye.
[00:49:20]  Oh, I feel myself falling into a picture perfect life.
[00:49:28]  I feel i've waited twice as long just to get the double prizes.
[00:49:35]  I've been hurt up and lied to.
[00:49:37]  I've been deeply traumatized.
[00:49:40]  So don't love me in the ways that I despise.
[00:49:48]  To the day you looked at me with such delirious love in your eyes.
[00:49:54]  Till you talk to me forever like we've been hypnotized.
[00:50:01]  Till you work with me forever like we've been hypnotized.
[00:50:08]  To be the one that I love who will never make me wanna say goodbye to be the one that I love who will never make me wanna say goodbye.
[00:50:29]  What's it like to be able to move people emotionally like that?
[00:50:35]  I don't know.
[00:50:36]  I don't know that I consciously have an expectation of the emotion that's to be moved.
[00:50:42]  But, or even if I, like sometimes when I'm must feel it.
[00:50:46]  Like I am so emotional after that.
[00:50:49]  And you must feel that.
[00:50:51]  It must be a really, could be a very dangerous thing if you let it go to your ego, but it must be a really cool thing to be able to sing.
[00:51:02]  Music is different than the spoken word or painting or anything else.
[00:51:07]  It's just different.
[00:51:07]  It speaks right directly to the soul.
[00:51:10]  Yeah, there's a couple of things I would say to that.
[00:51:12]  One, I don't know, this isn't me feigning humility, but I truly don't know that I have any expectation of like affecting people's lives.
[00:51:26]  But in retrospect, when I get to hear, because you like a lot of, a lot of lies, like I don't do it to, and I know that's not what you're saying, but like I don't do it to go out there and be like, I'm going to go bless lives right now and like go to a concert, you know?
[00:51:40]  But I just like, I do it because it's, it's blessed mine and I want to share that.
[00:51:46]  And one of the things that's cool about this position and, you know, I run into people sometimes out and about and they, you know, they'll stop me and just tell me like really quick, oh, you know, I've loved this or this or I've I found this song when this and this happened.
[00:52:02]  It's very, very kind of them to like go deep and share something with me.
[00:52:06]  But a lot of people don't really get to see the effect of what they do and how that ripples out.
[00:52:12]  But in moments like that, I'm like, oh my gosh, I can't believe I get to, I get to see pretty immediately what that, what that was to somebody.
[00:52:21]  And that I think you never know what it's going to be.
[00:52:26]  And so I don't ever want to try, like with my writing music, I've never thought, I want to make somebody feel loved.
[00:52:33]  So I'm going to write a song that is like that.
[00:52:36]  It purely is inspiration.
[00:52:38]  That would be AI.
[00:52:39]  Well, yeah, it's just like, it's just not me, you know, as I, and some people, this is why as I've gotten more and more into the industry, people are like, oh, do you want to have writing sessions?
[00:52:48]  Do you want to write with me?

=== Writing to Make People Feel Loved (15:43) ===

[00:52:49]  And I'm like, no, I don't.
[00:52:50]  Like, I don't know how to do that.
[00:52:52]  I don't know how to go off of not inspiration.
[00:52:56]  And so that's why, but that's why you're different.
[00:52:58]  That's why you're authentic.
[00:52:59]  Possibly.
[00:52:59]  That's why I think you're different.
[00:53:02]  I, yeah, go ahead.
[00:53:04]  I was watching one of your Instagram posts and you had, I think you had just gotten off stage and you were talking about a dress.
[00:53:15]  Oh, yeah.
[00:53:15]  You know what I'm talking about?
[00:53:17]  I know what you're talking about.
[00:53:18]  Yes.
[00:53:19]  Tell a story.
[00:53:20]  So this goes back probably longer than just the last five years.
[00:53:28]  But I've always been Somewhat, I would say, like I've been confident.
[00:53:35]  I've been confident to show up places.
[00:53:38]  And I don't know that I struggle so much with the like, I don't feel like I should be here because I'm just like, well, it's not even just me.
[00:53:44]  Like, I have to give credit to a higher power.
[00:53:46]  So I feel like I'm like, it's me and, you know, so, but I, uh, like, and trigger warning to anyone that struggles with eating disorders or body dysmorphia, but I struggled deeply the beginning of 2020.
[00:54:05]  I had this really weird bout of anxiety.
[00:54:09]  And it was so bad that it made me nauseous and I would throw up like seven times a day.
[00:54:13]  Oh my gosh.
[00:54:14]  And then it just kind of stumbled into an eating disorder.
[00:54:17]  And I lost a lot of weight really quickly.
[00:54:21]  And it was, and I've all, and I'd always struggled with my weight because we always kind of joke in third grade, I started eating school lunches that I would eat people's mac and cheese.
[00:54:31]  And then I just got fat.
[00:54:33]  And I cursed the school lunches.
[00:54:36]  But I, man, that mac and cheese was just too good.
[00:54:38]  And you were allowed to eat people's food in elementary school.
[00:54:42]  Like you had to eat your own.
[00:54:43]  But every time that aide turned its back, I was shoving some mac and cheese in my mouth.
[00:54:48]  But I, anyway, so I always like struggled with my weight feeling like I was way bigger than the other people in my grade and just like really like, oh man, their cardigan is an XS and mine isn't a large.
[00:54:58]  Like I just, it was, you know, also just like girly things, just growing up and being 13 and whatever.
[00:55:03]  But, and I thought I had a good handle on it.
[00:55:06]  But going then, once that like eating disorder, and two, on a mission, people feed you all the time.
[00:55:14]  Yeah.
[00:55:15]  And I had like weird things that I didn't know if I was allergic to with dairy or whatever.
[00:55:20]  So I just like would eat and then throw up and eat and throw up.
[00:55:23]  And it was worse.
[00:55:24]  I fixed it and got, I was able to overcome that part of just struggling with food and identity.
[00:55:35]  But once I fixed that and stopped throwing up, then I gained a bunch of weight.
[00:55:38]  And then I, like the body dysmorphia was just so, it hit me like a truck.
[00:55:43]  And I just was like, it was so strange because I really felt like the most important thing you could do was learn how to love yourself.
[00:55:50]  And I didn't understand why I didn't even think that I deserved to look in the mirror.
[00:55:53]  And it was stuff like that that it was extreme where I was like, people's lives are worse because they have to look at me.
[00:56:00]  And it was like, no one thinks that.
[00:56:01]  It's just like your brain cooks up the worst.
[00:56:05]  Really?
[00:56:07]  And I'm exactly who you are and how to get you.
[00:56:11]  It's amazing.
[00:56:12]  And I, you know, this is probably stuff too that I will, I know we'll continue to work on.
[00:56:18]  But it's like, I sometimes then couldn't tell, well, am I lying to myself?
[00:56:24]  Like, do I actually think that I'm pretty, but I'm making myself feel bad?
[00:56:29]  Am I manipulating myself?
[00:56:30]  And if people know, like, there's just a lot of layers there.
[00:56:35]  But I was like, well, maybe I deserve to feel bad because then when I get better, I'll have felt the most worse that I could.
[00:56:43]  So then I'll feel the most on top.
[00:56:45]  It was so complicated.
[00:56:46]  Yeah.
[00:56:47]  And I didn't know how to explain that to anybody because I didn't want to just be like, oh, I'm just feeling down in the dumps and I hate myself.
[00:56:53]  Like, it's just like, oh, whatever, get over it.
[00:56:54]  Everyone hates themselves kind of.
[00:56:56]  You sound, no, no offense.
[00:56:58]  I'm a recovering alcoholic.
[00:57:00]  That sounds like an alcoholism kind of thing.
[00:57:03]  Cause it's, it, you're, you're constantly playing all these different things out in your mind.
[00:57:09]  Yeah.
[00:57:10]  And when you want to reach out for help, it's just complicated there too, because you don't want to feel sorry for yourself, but you don't know how much to ask for.
[00:57:16]  Anyway, what I, um, uh, what I know we're talking about here is the, how I got over it was it was like in the thick of the height of just me not loving myself for who I was.
[00:57:31]  And I didn't know how to fix it.
[00:57:32]  And I went to the gym one day, probably working out against the mirror so that I didn't have to look at myself.
[00:57:39]  And I ran into a friend from high school's mom.
[00:57:43]  And she was like, oh, it's so good to see you.
[00:57:46]  I teach these cognitive therapy or these cognitive thinking classes at night.
[00:57:50]  You should, we're doing one tonight.
[00:57:51]  You should come.
[00:57:52]  And I was like, okay, like, I didn't have anything better to do.
[00:57:56]  What's cognitive thinking?
[00:57:58]  Just, I like, her class was mainly focusing on like, your thoughts are powerful.
[00:58:05]  It's just focusing on your thoughts.
[00:58:07]  And like, you, I mean, cognitive thinking is just thinking, like, you know, just focused on your, the power of your thoughts.
[00:58:16]  I've said this a million times.
[00:58:17]  And so anybody who's listened to me before, and I've said this, I apologize, but my father used to say, the two most powerful words in any language is I am.
[00:58:27]  God says, who's Moses?
[00:58:31]  Who sent me?
[00:58:32]  I am that I am.
[00:58:34]  And he said, what you follow those two words with, that blank, that will create you.
[00:58:42]  It is the creative force of God.
[00:58:45]  Be careful.
[00:58:46]  I agree wholeheartedly.
[00:58:48]  And I will, I'm remember that because at the end of this story, I'm going to tell you my agreement story that ties it in with what you just said.
[00:58:58]  Okay.
[00:58:58]  This is my unmedicated ADHD that has to physically put a pin on it.
[00:59:03]  But I went to that class and she starts thinking, talking about how our thoughts make us feel a certain way.
[00:59:09]  And when we feel a certain way, we act a certain way.
[00:59:11]  And when we act a certain way, we define ourselves a certain way.
[00:59:14]  And when we define ourselves as something, we think a certain way.
[00:59:17]  And it's just this cycle that keeps going.
[00:59:19]  And I was like, okay, this isn't so revolutionary.
[00:59:22]  But she was like, so write in your, in your notebook, what's a thought that you have, good or bad, that makes you feel a certain way.
[00:59:29]  And so right away, I go, I'm ugly.
[00:59:31]  And I'm like, it makes me feel ugly.
[00:59:34]  And she's like, then it's going to make you act like you're ugly.
[00:59:37]  Like you turn away from the mirror.
[00:59:38]  You don't let people talk to you.
[00:59:39]  You don't go out.
[00:59:41]  And then you're going to define yourself as that.
[00:59:43]  And you're just going to keep on thinking that.
[00:59:44]  And I was like, yeah.
[00:59:45]  And so she goes, this is what it changed truly.
[00:59:50]  I know it's not as easy for some people, but for me, it was night and day.
[00:59:53]  It was a switch.
[00:59:54]  She goes, Emma, thoughts are just thoughts.
[00:59:56]  They're never true unless they're a fact.
[00:59:58]  Facts are true.
[00:59:59]  But thoughts, they're made up.
[01:00:02]  They are our thoughts that we make up.
[01:00:06]  And you are the one that decides what your truth is.
[01:00:10]  That's fabulous.
[01:00:12]  I was like, well, no, that's not true because I could look at a tree and say, that's a tree and that's a true thought.
[01:00:16]  And she goes, no, that's a fact.
[01:00:19]  You're looking at a tree and that's a fact.
[01:00:21]  And I kind of, you know, I got vulnerable a little bit in that class and I just told everybody what I was struggling with because again, I've, for, you know, my struggles, I've also been very authentic.
[01:00:31]  And I was, I knew like, this is not a, this is not something that I created.
[01:00:36]  I know other people struggle with this.
[01:00:37]  So I thought, okay, well, I'll just talk about it.
[01:00:39]  And she goes, all right, well, we're going to, we're going to talk about it.
[01:00:42]  So your thought is that you're ugly and you feel this way.
[01:00:45]  She goes, but what if you thought a different thought?
[01:00:48]  Like, what if you thought you were the most beautiful person in the world?
[01:00:51]  How would you feel?
[01:00:52]  And I was like, well, I'd probably feel pretty great.
[01:00:54]  And she was like, okay.
[01:00:55]  And how would you act?
[01:00:56]  I was like, well, I'd probably go out more.
[01:00:58]  I'd probably talk to people.
[01:00:59]  I'd probably smile more.
[01:01:01]  And she's like, and you would identify yourself as a beautiful person.
[01:01:05]  She goes, so if you're making up that you're ugly and you're making up that you're beautiful, choose the one that moves you forward, then hinders you.
[01:01:12]  And I was like, this is like, this is not a, this is the best gym encounter of all time.
[01:01:18]  I know.
[01:01:18]  I was seriously spiritually swole after that.
[01:01:22]  I was like, what?
[01:01:23]  And I just was like, it almost felt illegal how easy that was.
[01:01:27]  I was like, that's it.
[01:01:29]  And she was like, that's it.
[01:01:31]  She's like, that's why we almost don't give ourselves permission to let, because we were, I think, so conscious of, like I was in the beginning, of not wanting to come off as self-important.
[01:01:43]  I didn't want to be like, I'm beautiful.
[01:01:45]  I'm the greatest.
[01:01:45]  I'm wonderful.
[01:01:46]  But it's like, there's a fine line between being prideful and you're having your ego be through the roof and just believing in yourself and telling yourself, I can do hard things.
[01:01:56]  I can, I'm going to get over this and this is going to be wonderful.
[01:01:59]  The sun is going to come up tomorrow.
[01:02:00]  I'll be stronger than before.
[01:02:02]  And I realized I've been writing all this stuff the whole time.
[01:02:05]  I just didn't apply it to myself.
[01:02:07]  And somebody said, I saw this one time that if someone were to ask you to list all the things that you love, how long would it take until you said yourself?
[01:02:15]  And I was like, oh my gosh, it would probably take a minute.
[01:02:18]  I don't think it would take a day.
[01:02:20]  Yeah, well, I don't know.
[01:02:22]  I would probably start with cheese, get towards other foods.
[01:02:28]  I would prioritize food.
[01:02:30]  But yeah, no, I, and so to unpin the thought that I had pinned earlier was I wanted to test something out because people, you know, they've done like, if you've ever heard those, like they put two apples in one in each room and one they speak mean to and one they encourage kind of feels silly.
[01:02:48]  But like the theory was that the one that you spoke bad to would shrivel up and die quicker than the other one.
[01:02:53]  And just like talking about how words are powerful.
[01:02:56]  And so I was like, okay, I'm going to go on these walks or these runs.
[01:03:01]  And I did cross country in high school.
[01:03:02]  And so my breathe, like I kind of had a specific breathing that with my legs, I would go in, in, out, out.
[01:03:08]  And like, that was kind of my rhythm.
[01:03:10]  And when I was like, okay, I'm going to run and I'm going to go, I am on the inhale and then just say something.
[01:03:15]  And then I'm going to do that for 10 minutes straight.
[01:03:18]  One, it was to help me focus.
[01:03:20]  And two, I was like, what's going to happen?
[01:03:21]  Am I going to bloom?
[01:03:22]  Am I going to blossom?
[01:03:23]  And it was kind of like.
[01:03:24]  Changed your life, didn't you?
[01:03:25]  Yeah, I'm still in the middle of the experiment, but I truly like it's.
[01:03:31]  It is something wonderful to just go through and just go.
[01:03:36]  You're running, running around town and you can say the same thing over and over, just, I am wonderful, I am beautiful, I am lovely, I'm a kind person, I you know, and you just, and you keep on telling yourself and eventually you start to feel it because we tell ourselves the opposite, it is human nature to tell yourself, oh, that was so stupid, I'm so stupid, I made this.
[01:03:57]  You know always that tape is running problem solving.
[01:04:00]  We think that because our brain attaches to the negativity, so because it's a survival mechanism, it's like if I learn the negative thing, then I won't do that again.
[01:04:08]  So a lot of times we provide negativity for ourselves because our brain latches onto it, because it thinks we're problem solving, it thinks we're in survival mode and it's like, but if you tell yourself you're ugly, then you'll avoid all these things.
[01:04:19]  But it's like whatever, if I tell myself I'm beautiful, then I'll live a great life, and like I it it seems.
[01:04:26]  You know, like you don't want to just tell a depressed person, well, just be happy.
[01:04:29]  But for me it was that easy to just be like well, just think nice thoughts.
[01:04:33]  And I was like, oh my gosh, it was that easy all along.
[01:04:36]  And I actually have a song that I wrote that is totally about this and I didn't.
[01:04:43]  Am I worthy?
[01:04:44]  No it's, it's well, there's that.
[01:04:46]  Actually a lot of my songs have the same theme, but they're just said in different ways, they're different hues.
[01:04:51]  But um, this is a new song off the new album and uh, it's, it was just I. You know, I was thinking about that I'm probably always subconsciously thinking about this that you know, God created all these beautiful things.
[01:05:07]  We look at the mountains we, I mean, you know, here in Utah or in Idaho, these mountains, the beautiful landscape.
[01:05:12]  You're like, this is lovely, this is beautiful like, but then that same notion of, but how long does it take before we look at ourselves and go, love it, I love it, it's beautiful.
[01:05:22]  So that was what this song.
[01:05:23]  This song is about, and There's not much more to say, but it's called loving.
[01:05:30]  Look at the moon and the stars and the sun, each shining so bright.
[01:05:35]  Yeah, that's how God made them.
[01:05:37]  Now, look at yourself shining.
[01:05:40]  And tell me why it's not to love.
[01:05:58]  Love is so come easy.
[01:06:00]  But like most things, it's easier said than done.
[01:06:03]  But like most things, you get into a rhythm.
[01:06:08]  So let's be kind and let's smile at ourselves.
[01:06:11]  We know we aren't perfect.
[01:06:12]  That'll take a while.
[01:06:15]  So let's start loving, loving, loving, loving.
[01:06:18]  Everything I gave us has been loving.
[01:06:23]  Everything I gave us has been loving.
[01:06:27]  Why does it take a lifetime to look at ourselves and be satisfied?
[01:06:32]  Even then most of us are sad and tired.
[01:06:34]  We gotta pick ourselves up and realize.
[01:06:37]  So let's be kind and let's smile at ourselves.
[01:06:40]  We know we aren't perfect, get that, take a while.
[01:06:44]  So let's start loving, loving, loving, loving.
[01:06:48]  Everything I give us has been loving.
[01:06:52]  Everything I gave us has been loving.
[01:06:56]  Oh, look at yourself, love me.
[01:06:59]  Everybody else, we're so lovely.
[01:07:01]  Look at yourself, we are lovely.
[01:07:04]  Everybody else, we are loving, baby.
[01:07:06]  We look at yourself, lovely.
[01:07:09]  Everybody else, we're still lovely.
[01:07:11]  And look at yourself, we are lovely.
[01:07:14]  Everybody else, we are lovely.
[01:07:16]  And look at the moon and the stars and the sun.
[01:07:19]  It's shining so bright.
[01:07:20]  Yeah, that's how God made them.
[01:07:21]  Look at yourself shining and tell me what's not to love.
[01:07:26]  So let's be kind and let's smile at ourselves.
[01:07:29]  We know we aren't perfect, get that or take a while.
[01:07:33]  So let's start loving, loving, loving, loving.
[01:07:36]  Everything I gave us is be loving.
[01:07:41]  Everything I gave us has been loving.
[01:07:45]  Wow.
[01:07:46]  When you started writing this new album, did you have a moment of like, can I do this again?
[01:07:53]  No, because it was all written at the same time.
[01:07:56]  So you haven't run out of songs that you started to write back then?
[01:08:00]  No, this was all.
[01:08:01]  I have not written a Christian song except for Am I Enough, Love Like You, and Angels.
[01:08:08]  I think they're the only ones that I've written in the last two years.
[01:08:12]  Wow.
[01:08:12]  Yeah.
[01:08:12]  Everything was written then.
[01:08:15]  And when I was putting together my first album with the label, I had to pick and choose.
[01:08:19]  And so part of me felt like, oh, this is the scraps.
[01:08:22]  Because in my mind, I was just going to do one Christian album and then I was going to move on to, you know, stuff like Till That Day and the other stuff that I had.
[01:08:29]  But I hope you never don't stop mixing them.

=== Believing in Angels Around Us (15:38) ===

[01:08:33]  I know, but the thing is, is like it's just inspiration.
[01:08:35]  So I can't make myself sit down and be like, I'm not going to be able to do it.
[01:08:37]  No, I know that.
[01:08:38]  I know that, but I hope you don't ever listen to somebody who says, no, that's got to go on a Christian album.
[01:08:42]  Yeah.
[01:08:42]  Mix them.
[01:08:43]  I know.
[01:08:43]  And I think it will always continue to like music is changing.
[01:08:49]  You don't have to have, like with what we're talking about, bouquets.
[01:08:51]  It doesn't have to be one thing.
[01:08:53]  And so I'm like, I can write a Christian song and stick it in a pop or RB album.
[01:08:57]  So, and I just think people like to put me in boxes for better or for worse of like, oh, you're this type of person, this type of singer.
[01:09:06]  So this is what you'll be.
[01:09:07]  And I'm just like, I, not to mention Taylor Swift again, but like Taylor Swift have my eras.
[01:09:14]  So like right now it's going to be probably more on the nose Christian.
[01:09:18]  And then I'll write others.
[01:09:19]  I mean, I've written, I have like two other albums that are just like locked and loaded, but timing.
[01:09:25]  And so it's just like, it will, I don't know.
[01:09:28]  Like, I want to do so many things.
[01:09:29]  I want to write scores for Broadway.
[01:09:31]  I want to do these types of things.
[01:09:33]  I want to be in a double, I want to be a Dele in 007 and do the end credit.
[01:09:36]  I want, you know, it's like, I have lots of visions and it's not just going to be the one thing.
[01:09:40]  And it never started as one thing.
[01:09:42]  But, and that's the other thing too, is I don't know that people realize that like this isn't me being sure and saying, you need to believe the same as me.
[01:09:51]  This was me coming from a place when I didn't really know if I believed in God or what I believed in and having lots of questions.
[01:09:58]  Like, I just have to have faith because it's the only thing that I have.
[01:10:01]  I don't have any knowledge.
[01:10:03]  And, or am I enough?
[01:10:06]  I don't know, but I sure hope so.
[01:10:07]  And I've prayed that prayer a thousand times and I keep on getting amazing.
[01:10:10]  You can play a little of the first half of that.
[01:10:17]  Am I enough enough for you, Lord?
[01:10:23]  Am I enough with all the things I don't do, Lord?
[01:10:32]  Am I love?
[01:10:35]  Am I worth loving?
[01:10:39]  It's not I don't trust you ever loving.
[01:10:46]  But some say, some say we might not make it into heaven.
[01:10:53]  And what if it's me and by forgiven my eyes to embrace in grace?
[01:11:14]  How sweet the sound to hear you say you are enough and you always have been.
[01:11:29]  So don't lose your faith for you are mine.
[01:11:40]  So beautiful.
[01:11:41]  Thank you.
[01:11:42]  How many people need to hear that?
[01:11:46]  Yeah.
[01:11:47]  That's the only thing that I'm sure of, honestly.
[01:11:49]  Like my life is full of, you know, kind of, I mentioned just reconstruction all the time.
[01:11:55]  The more people I meet, the more I reconstruct because it allows me to build more walls of love.
[01:12:04]  Yeah.
[01:12:04]  You know, like not walls between us, but it allows me to knock down and rebuild of like, oh, I understand that better now.
[01:12:11]  Let me love more.
[01:12:12]  And that's kind of for me, the only thing I'm sure of with my music is like, I don't know.
[01:12:18]  I don't know where I stand on a lot of stuff.
[01:12:20]  I don't know like all the ins and the outs.
[01:12:23]  And if you want to get into the semantics and the theology.
[01:12:28]  But what I, the thing I do cling to as my belief bordering on knowledge is like, love is the most important thing.
[01:12:35]  If we can't love people, then there's probably some walls up.
[01:12:40]  And we don't have to like each other.
[01:12:43]  Yeah.
[01:12:44]  We should love each other.
[01:12:45]  But there are some people, there are some people that I think won't be your cup of tea.
[01:12:52]  And that's okay.
[01:12:53]  I've also learned like, and I'm not going to ever write songs about like, you don't have to like them.
[01:12:58]  Just go on.
[01:12:59]  Because I feel like it's implied, you know?
[01:13:01]  But what's not implied is like the people you hate, you should love.
[01:13:05]  Like it's just, and yeah, I don't know.
[01:13:10]  I just, I find so much more peace in promoting a more broad love and let people get to dissect that for themselves because I'm like, yeah, this resonates with me no matter where I'm at on my journey.
[01:13:22]  I resonate with love and compassion.
[01:13:26]  Can I ask you to do one more song and tell me the story of Angel.
[01:13:29]  Yeah.
[01:13:30]  I believe in angels.
[01:13:33]  This is one of my favorite stories.
[01:13:35]  And this is about not knowing your direct impact on people, but I sometimes get the privilege of hearing exactly what that meant.
[01:13:47]  I was doing, I was singing at a devotional and they had a speaker before me.
[01:13:53]  And she's now my good friend, Heather Van Borum.
[01:13:56]  And she is a double amputee.
[01:14:00]  A couple years ago before Christmas, she was walking out of a Costco parking lot and got hit by a car that was coming out and pinned her between two cars and she lost her legs.
[01:14:10]  And when she talks about the story, she just talks about all of the miracles.
[01:14:14]  She's such a good sport and she has so much hope and love and just wonder looking back and being like, wow, how wonderful that was.
[01:14:25]  She was on the phone with her husband when the accident happened and he was a surgeon at the hospital that shared the parking lot with the Costco.
[01:14:32]  And so he heard it and was able to be there almost, you know, within minutes.
[01:14:38]  And then there was also people that there was someone who was able to turn the or tie the tourniquets on her legs, therefore saving her life.
[01:14:45]  Even though, you know, her husband was there as soon as he could be.
[01:14:48]  You know, it's like when you lose your legs, you're in danger there.
[01:14:52]  And then other people like just a woman who sat there and held her hand.
[01:14:55]  And I'm like, that is so traumatic to be with somebody who has just lost their legs and to be able to be calm and sit with them and hold their hand.
[01:15:04]  And like, that's just got to be a wave of just power of just like, just sit there with that person, you know?
[01:15:12]  And just other experiences in her recovery and just that whole, that whole journey was just filled with, I think, miracles for her and angels and people that she could, you know, feel compassion for, even the person that hit her.
[01:15:33]  And I just love that story.
[01:15:38]  And it has, I feel it deeply because it's just like so powerful.
[01:15:44]  And we talk about it all the time.
[01:15:46]  We'll go get our nails done and I'll have, I'll just ask her questions and what about this?
[01:15:50]  And one time I was like, okay, I was, I had missed church and I was like, I was thinking about her story.
[01:15:56]  And I was like, well, instead of church, I will listen to her story on the podcast that she had done and telling it.
[01:16:03]  So I'm listening to it.
[01:16:04]  And just, you know, I've talked about it's inspiration.
[01:16:07]  I just go and I walk over to the piano, unbeknownst to me sometimes.
[01:16:12]  And I'm listening to this podcast.
[01:16:14]  I press pause.
[01:16:16]  And you want to know what's funny.
[01:16:17]  It was about the same guy that I wrote till that day about.
[01:16:20]  I was kind of like, I had written so many songs and I was like, all right, I just need to wrap this up, wrap up this chapter.
[01:16:25]  And so I was trying to write a song about that and wrap it up.
[01:16:28]  And I was using this chord progression and it just wasn't working.
[01:16:32]  And, you know, I feel like me, me and Jesus, we got a good relationship.
[01:16:36]  We're kind of sassy.
[01:16:37]  And Jesus was like, no, stop, get up, move.
[01:16:40]  That's not whatever.
[01:16:41]  Put a pin in it, you know?
[01:16:42]  He speaks my language.
[01:16:43]  Put a pin in it.
[01:16:44]  And I was like, okay.
[01:16:45]  So the next day, I'm listening to this podcast.
[01:16:47]  I pause it.
[01:16:48]  I go over and I go, angels, angels, angels, angels.
[01:16:55]  And he was like, mm-hmm.
[01:16:56]  Yeah, that's what that was supposed to be for.
[01:16:57]  You just were trying to rush it.
[01:16:59]  And I was like, oh, and I, I, then I write this song and I send it to her.
[01:17:05]  And I was like, angels are a big part of my life.
[01:17:08]  I have a grandpa that passed away in 2015.
[01:17:10]  I feel very close to him More so now, as he, you know, I lived in Sweden for a while and he, his ashes, we took them back to Sweden.
[01:17:21]  And I was able to be there on his birthday/slash death day and speak Swedish to him for the first time since I had learned it.
[01:17:30]  And I just feel very close to angels and even the ones that are alive.
[01:17:34]  And so I sent us to her and I was like, I just love angels and I love you.
[01:17:37]  You're my angel.
[01:17:38]  And this is this inspired listening to your story.
[01:17:42]  And I sent it to her and she sent back, she was like, Emma, this is crazy.
[01:17:48]  I am at my neighbor's house and her son had passed away the day before from suicide.
[01:17:55]  And she was like, you would never have known that, you know?
[01:17:59]  And like, but that was a, and I was like, I, that's where I have to chalk it up to there's something bigger than me that that goes on in this process because, you know, it was inspired of one thing, but it meant something completely different.
[01:18:17]  So that's quite, you know, I love telling that story to people because it's so moving and powerful to me that we joke, you know, my age, oh, it's not that deep.
[01:18:32]  Everyone says, oh, it's not that deep, but sometimes it is, you know, and it can be.
[01:18:37]  But, so this is Angels.
[01:18:46]  Angels, therefore the other weary angels Rescuing, holding on to angels with glory, light and grace Angels, their arms open wide.
[01:19:04]  Oh, the angels singing out.
[01:19:07]  I can hear the angels with glory, life, and grace.
[01:19:15]  Oh, I believe in what I can see.
[01:19:27]  Oh, but I can feel them all holding my head up to the clouds when I'm turned around.
[01:19:41]  And I can feel them golden.
[01:19:47]  Showing me the love I can feel myself.
[01:19:55]  Yes, I believe in angels.
[01:19:59]  I believe I believe in angels.
[01:20:11]  Therefore, the other weary angels rescuing, holding on to angels with glory, light, and grace.
[01:20:23]  Angels, therefore, the other weary angels laugh with me from time to time when pain swells and I'm trying to hold on.
[01:20:36]  Yes, I believe in what I cannot see.
[01:20:48]  Oh, but I can feel them all holding my head to the clouds when I'm turned around.
[01:21:02]  And I can feel them gold holding my hand.
[01:21:08]  Showing me the love I can see myself.
[01:21:15]  Yes, I believe in it, but I can feel them all in my head up to.
[01:21:46]  when I'm turned around.
[01:21:50]  And I can feel them holding my hand.
[01:21:56]  Showing thee the love I can see myself.
[01:22:04]  Yes, I believe an angel...
[01:22:17]  I heard that song.
[01:22:21]  And that's when I reached out to you and asked you to be on because I told you at the beginning, she's Adele.
[01:22:33]  You know, she's Ella Fitzgerald.
[01:22:36]  She's Billie Eilish.
[01:22:38]  And when I heard this song, I thought, oh no, she's emaniscing.
[01:22:44]  Someday, you will be a category that somebody will say, oh, so she's like emaniscing.
[01:22:53]  Well, thank you.
[01:22:53]  You are really wonderful.
[01:22:56]  I wish you would come over to everybody's house and do this.
[01:22:59]  It has been a delight to have you here.
[01:23:02]  People just have to ask, and I'll do it.
[01:23:04]  It's as easy as that.
[01:23:05]  No, I love this is one of my favorite things is connecting with people.
[01:23:11]  So it's been a trait for me to just listen and learn and open my heart to more love and talk about things that make me love.
[01:23:19]  And I, yeah, I really appreciate you creating a place for that because it's, it's the best things that people get to do.
[01:23:29]  So thanks.
[01:23:30]  Thanks, Emma.
[01:23:31]  Yeah.
[01:23:33]  This, so just as like a this, because I feel like this sums up a lot of how I feel currently.
[01:23:41]  And it's what I wish people knew about me.
[01:23:44]  And I think people can also relate to this that sometimes we don't know.
[01:23:51]  And as a Christian artist gets lobbed into the Christian genre, people kind of assume like, oh, you're Christian.
[01:23:57]  You know, you have your values and you know them and you promote them.
[01:24:00]  And so people sometimes get upset that I'm too broad or that I don't say things straight, you know.
[01:24:06]  You're 25.
[01:24:08]  One day, one day over 25.

=== Holding On to the Sinner (04:58) ===

[01:24:11]  And I just, I'm like, I don't have it all figured out.
[01:24:14]  And I, I am okay.
[01:24:16]  Like, I'm not terrified of that.
[01:24:18]  I think the first time I kind of deconstructed my faith and had to figure out, okay, what is it that I believe?
[01:24:24]  And I thought it was just going to happen once, but, you know, life is not just one go around.
[01:24:30]  Yeah.
[01:24:31]  So I just, I was like, oh, I thought it was really scary because I was like, oh my gosh, if I don't believe this, then I can't do this.
[01:24:37]  And I can't, you know.
[01:24:38]  But then I realized I was like, oh, so much life to live, laugh to laugh and love to love in the midst of all of that.
[01:24:45]  And so I was like, I, you know, maybe don't know everything and can't say to people what they should do.
[01:24:53]  I don't even think that that's my position in life.
[01:24:55]  But I was like, for me, I'm not scared that I don't know.
[01:24:58]  And until I get to that place, I just need somebody to hold on to me, you know, whether that's God or whether that's the people I have around me.
[01:25:07]  Just hold on until I can rely on my own heart.
[01:25:10]  And sometimes it's a collaboration.
[01:25:12]  So this is truly one of my favorite songs.
[01:25:16]  And this is another one on the album that the new album.
[01:25:21]  And this is a new one that I wrote because I think it just came at the pinnacle of hurt when people wanted me to be something that I wasn't.
[01:25:27]  And I was like, I just, we got to hold on, hold on.
[01:25:31]  And it's going to be fine, everybody, because I'm not stressed.
[01:25:33]  So why are you stressed?
[01:25:35]  And it's just very raw because it talks about me thinking that I'm going to, you know, end up somewhere else.
[01:25:43]  But actually, maybe it's all right.
[01:25:45]  So hold on till all of my fears gone.
[01:25:52]  Till I can rely on my own heart to brace me.
[01:26:00]  Dear Lord, I hold on to the sinner who's too far gone.
[01:26:08]  To the ones who never dreamed of everyone.
[01:26:12]  Dear Lord, hold on.
[01:26:18]  Thought I knew what to do.
[01:26:20]  Thought I'd cruise through life and end up with the sinners.
[01:26:26]  Thought it all wasn't touchable.
[01:26:28]  Yeah, it was just for the winners.
[01:26:35]  Not until the drags did I feel the dread of coping without you guys.
[01:26:43]  I don't wanna live another day feeling the same way.
[01:26:46]  So hear me pray.
[01:26:52]  Hold on till all of my fears gone.
[01:26:58]  Till I can rely on my own heart to brace me.
[01:27:06]  Dear Lord, hold on to the sinner who's too far gone.
[01:27:15]  To the ones who never dreamed of heaven.
[01:27:19]  Dear Lord, hold on.
[01:27:25]  Thought I figured out what it's all about.
[01:27:27]  Yeah, it was coming together.
[01:27:33]  Then a little creeping doubt starts to sprout.
[01:27:35]  And suddenly I'm a beginner.
[01:27:41]  Now I know it's just an ebb and flow.
[01:27:43]  And I don't need to let it all go just to find you, God.
[01:27:50]  I don't wanna live another day feeling the same way.
[01:27:54]  So hear me pray.
[01:27:58]  And I know I'm imperfect at the end of the day.
[01:28:03]  But that's what has me holding on to everything that you say.
[01:28:07]  Cause I believe you love me.
[01:28:09]  That's exactly why I pray.
[01:28:11]  To feel your grace on the ebbing days.
[01:28:17]  Oh, hold on.
[01:28:21]  Till all of my fears gone.
[01:28:25]  Till I can rely on my own heart to brace me.
[01:28:34]  Oh, I hold on to the sinner who's too good for God.
[01:28:42]  To the ones who never dreamed of heaven.
[01:28:46]  Dear Lord, hold on.
[01:28:51]  Oh, hold on to the sinner who's too good for God.
[01:28:59]  To the ones who never dream of.
[01:29:03]  Dear Lord, hold on.
[01:29:07]  Oh, Lord, hold on.