Flagrant - Andrew Schulz & Akaash Singh - Netflix Roast Reaction & Hantavirus is Coming | Flagrant #704
Aired: 2026-05-13
Duration: 01:39:59


=== Getting Off The Internet (14:35) ===

[00:00:00]  What's up, everybody, and welcome to Flagrance.
[00:00:02]  Your boy Schultz, Alex Media, Mark Gagnon, Miles Media in the building.
[00:00:10]  How are you guys?
[00:00:10]  These roasts are getting brutal, bro.
[00:00:12]  I'm getting soft.
[00:00:13]  I'm getting soft.
[00:00:14]  Some of these jokes, I was like, ouch.
[00:00:21]  Get off the internet, bro.
[00:00:23]  Get off the internet, Alex.
[00:00:25]  The internet will have you feeling that things are worse than they are.
[00:00:28]  Bruh.
[00:00:29]  When they talked about.
[00:00:30]  Well, we get to get into it later.
[00:00:31]  Yeah.
[00:00:32]  But fuck.
[00:00:33]  It was.
[00:00:34]  You ain't feeling none of the jokes were a little rough?
[00:00:36]  We'll get into it.
[00:00:37]  We'll get into it, man.
[00:00:39]  We flew back from California a couple days with both kids.
[00:00:42]  Oh, nice.
[00:00:45]  I don't know how Epstein did it, man.
[00:00:48]  I'll be honest with you.
[00:00:50]  Traveling with kids is so fucking brutal, bro.
[00:00:54]  He had to have a different plane, right?
[00:00:56]  There's no way you're taking one of your planes.
[00:00:58]  Nah, those kids were Delta.
[00:01:00]  They had to.
[00:01:01]  They had to.
[00:01:03]  It is crazy that they haven't devised a system, a place to put the kids.
[00:01:07]  Yeah.
[00:01:08]  Like, because they did it with the animals.
[00:01:10]  Yeah.
[00:01:11]  Right?
[00:01:12]  Like, I'm not saying, and I'm very grateful for my kids.
[00:01:14]  Don't get me wrong.
[00:01:15]  Of course.
[00:01:15]  Of course.
[00:01:15]  But five hours on the screen.
[00:01:18]  But you see, Epstein died.
[00:01:20]  Spirit's no longer here.
[00:01:22]  Oh.
[00:01:23]  At least with spirit, they get to watch violence.
[00:01:25]  Yeah.
[00:01:26]  You know, like, because my kid's not on a screen, but he can watch two baby mamas beat the shit out of each other.
[00:01:31]  But, like, we were just sitting there.
[00:01:33]  My wife's just like, we're not doing any screens.
[00:01:35]  And I was like, what?
[00:01:36]  Yeah.
[00:01:36]  And she's like, yeah, we're not doing any screens.
[00:01:38]  And my wife is in a seat, in Front of us, and I'm behind with Shiloh.
[00:01:42]  That's kind of fucked up with her, yo.
[00:01:44]  Yo, but she's breastfeeding the baby and everything like that, and I'm back, and like I tried to do no screens, and like I threw on that Coco Melons, bro.
[00:01:54]  On your screen.
[00:01:55]  So on my screen, I put the Coco Melons.
[00:01:57]  I didn't even have my volume on.
[00:02:00]  I don't think I blink for 30 minutes straight.
[00:02:03]  That shit should be illegal.
[00:02:05]  That's terrorism.
[00:02:07]  Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[00:02:08]  Bro, it's so many flashing lights.
[00:02:10]  Mm hmm.
[00:02:10]  And I'm literally like glued.
[00:02:12]  My daughter is glued to the screen.
[00:02:14]  My daughter's getting jump scared.
[00:02:16]  Like, there's so much stimulus.
[00:02:18]  My daughter keeps going like this.
[00:02:19]  Like, she goes, and then she'll look at me and she'll be like, and this is her first time.
[00:02:24]  Imagine your first time trying any drug is fentanyl or heroin.
[00:02:31]  There was no gateway, no screen to Coco Melon.
[00:02:35]  Yep.
[00:02:35]  I think we got to show Coco Melon.
[00:02:37]  So wonderful.
[00:02:38]  So, on Mother's Day, the one rule your wife actually not to do, you broke.
[00:02:42]  And all my no, no, no, I broke it.
[00:02:45]  I broke the fuck out.
[00:02:46]  No, because they weren't watching it, you were watching it, and they chose to sky watch it.
[00:02:52]  I put on a shot thinking I was gonna scroll my phone and talk to y'all.
[00:02:58]  I didn't even open my phone, I was so locked into Coco Melons, dude.
[00:03:02]  There's a moment.
[00:03:04]  Oh, that is, yeah, it is.
[00:03:05]  Oh, it's non stop, and this is just the intro.
[00:03:07]  You already locked in, and this is no volume, so that way it feels like how you guys were watching it.
[00:03:13]  Also, for the record, guess how many views this has.
[00:03:15]  Random guess.
[00:03:16]  What, in a billion?
[00:03:18]  Eight billion.
[00:03:21]  What?
[00:03:21]  Eight billion views.
[00:03:22]  This has more views than people on the planet.
[00:03:26]  What?
[00:03:26]  Yeah, Al.
[00:03:27]  You get addicted to it.
[00:03:29]  You got to understand.
[00:03:30]  My daughter's never seen an iPad, never seen a screen.
[00:03:34]  And then I put on the most.
[00:03:36]  Spent in all the musicals.
[00:03:37]  Yes, son.
[00:03:39]  That's crazy.
[00:03:40]  You should have seen it.
[00:03:41]  A billion?
[00:03:43]  The flight attendant came around.
[00:03:44]  She was like, Oh, at first, I had no headphones on for her.
[00:03:47]  I was like, We're just going to watch the screen because I thought that might be too stimulating.
[00:03:50]  I put the headphones on and no bullshit.
[00:03:53]  The second I put the headphones on, she watches and I'm watching her and I just see her slowly smile.
[00:04:00]  Like this slow ear to ear Cheshire cat smile creeps across her face.
[00:04:05]  And I'm watching my kid become addicted to something in real time.
[00:04:08]  Yeah.
[00:04:09]  Yeah.
[00:04:10]  Woo!
[00:04:11]  Yeah, dude.
[00:04:11]  You gonna feel bad about that?
[00:04:13]  Feel bad.
[00:04:15]  I could be a dad now.
[00:04:17]  You just need Coco now.
[00:04:19]  All these people complaining about how hard it is to raise kids when you got screens.
[00:04:24]  I don't wanna hear none of that.
[00:04:25]  No, no problem.
[00:04:26]  I tried to put on the first episode of Sesame Street.
[00:04:28]  Emma downloaded it onto the iPad.
[00:04:30]  That's good.
[00:04:31]  The first ever episode of Sesame Street.
[00:04:33]  It's probably trash.
[00:04:34]  The way Shiloh couldn't give a fuck after watching Coco Melon.
[00:04:38]  It was like smoking a cigarette after you inject heroin straight into your fucking head.
[00:04:44]  Zero.
[00:04:45]  Didn't even understand it logically.
[00:04:47]  Like she was like, why is he in the garbage?
[00:04:49]  Like there was no.
[00:04:50]  She was like, why is this entertaining or fun?
[00:04:53]  And this transformed television.
[00:04:55]  This one show transformed television.
[00:04:58]  Yep.
[00:04:58]  I mean, you've seen little kids react to Cocomelon, right?
[00:05:01]  You've seen the videos?
[00:05:02]  No.
[00:05:02]  I'll try to find one.
[00:05:03]  There's videos of like little kids hearing the theme song and they go crazy.
[00:05:07]  Look at this little kid sleeping.
[00:05:09]  Cocomelon!
[00:05:12]  Oh!
[00:05:13]  No!
[00:05:13]  Give me that!
[00:05:14]  No, this show is bad, bro.
[00:05:15]  You can't do it.
[00:05:16]  Wow.
[00:05:16]  You can't do it.
[00:05:17]  They get so fired up.
[00:05:18]  But you also can't.
[00:05:20]  Alien is freaks.
[00:05:21]  You also can't fly for five hours with two kids.
[00:05:25]  You can't do that.
[00:05:25]  Yeah.
[00:05:26]  That's an impossible task.
[00:05:28]  I don't know how people did that.
[00:05:29]  The fact that she asked you to do that is.
[00:05:31]  That was mean.
[00:05:31]  That's mean to everybody else on a plane.
[00:05:33]  Yo, come on.
[00:05:35]  Here's the other thing.
[00:05:35]  Like, I didn't even think about no one else on a plane.
[00:05:39]  Like, they didn't even enter my brain.
[00:05:42]  All I, like, it did, like, oh, it could be uncomfortable for them.
[00:05:45]  I don't care.
[00:05:47]  Is that mean?
[00:05:48]  Is that selfish?
[00:05:49]  Yes.
[00:05:49]  No, you get locked in.
[00:05:50]  You get locked in.
[00:05:51]  I think you've just become so focused.
[00:05:53]  Yeah, micro focused on just like making sure your kid's okay.
[00:05:57]  I don't want to snitch on you, but he did something so funny.
[00:05:59]  We were trying to figure out routing from Flights because we were like in Denver.
[00:06:02]  He was like, Maybe I go back to New York, I go to LA.
[00:06:04]  And I was like, Well, you know, if you go to New York, we can get some stuff done, then you go to LA.
[00:06:07]  And he was like, Yeah, but I could go straight to LA.
[00:06:09]  And I was like, Yeah, it's just time away from the family, though.
[00:06:11]  And he goes, Yeah, but it's a flight without the kids.
[00:06:15]  I was like, Bro.
[00:06:19]  He's scheduling his geographical travel to not fly outside.
[00:06:22]  Can I tell you something?
[00:06:23]  Can I tell you something?
[00:06:24]  I ain't shit.
[00:06:25]  Can I tell you something?
[00:06:27]  Emma brought it up to me.
[00:06:28]  She goes, Why don't you just go right from Denver to LA and then we'll just Come to Santa Barbara earlier because it was her dad's 80th birthday.
[00:06:36]  She never said yes faster.
[00:06:38]  I was about to, and I had to be like, I had to stop it because I couldn't let her know how excited I was.
[00:06:46]  And I was like, I don't know if that makes sense.
[00:06:48]  Like, I should probably just fly back and then we all go back.
[00:06:50]  And she's like, it doesn't even make any sense.
[00:06:52]  I would just go straight to LA.
[00:06:53]  You could do your meetings or whatever.
[00:06:54]  And I was like, all right, man, I guess.
[00:06:57]  Fine.
[00:07:00]  If you insist, I'll avoid that five hours.
[00:07:02]  I'm going to be in the Delta One lounge with who, though?
[00:07:05]  You know, who will I be with?
[00:07:06]  I'll be totally alone, bro.
[00:07:08]  No wonder you drove to the airport with us because you felt bad that she had to do that flight all by us.
[00:07:13]  I went to LA.
[00:07:16]  Yo, why are you coming with us to pick her up from the airport?
[00:07:19]  Like, if she flew alone, she could take an Uber.
[00:07:21]  It's not even like he had a car.
[00:07:23]  He got dropped off of the airport on his feet, like GDA.
[00:07:26]  He was just walking around.
[00:07:27]  I was grabbing all the bags quick, throwing them in the back of the car.
[00:07:30]  I was doing everything I possibly could, man.
[00:07:32]  We got into the car, both kids asleep immediately.
[00:07:34]  I was like, yo, this was hard for y'all to travel with the kids.
[00:07:37]  What's so difficult about this?
[00:07:38]  It is my least.
[00:07:39]  Favorite part of parenting.
[00:07:40]  I truly love being a dad except travel.
[00:07:45]  You need another vacation once you land.
[00:07:48]  Like, you land from vacation with the kids, and any relaxation that you got for the week away is evaporated on that flight.
[00:07:57]  Because there's nothing on the flight.
[00:07:59]  My daughter grabbed the scoop of ice cream with her whole hands.
[00:08:03]  You know how they bring the scoop of ice cream?
[00:08:04]  I was like, She wants some ice cream?
[00:08:06]  She's like, Yes.
[00:08:06]  I was like, Hold on, I'm just going to get the spoon.
[00:08:08]  I went to unwrap the spoon that's in the napkin.
[00:08:11]  She just went boom, boom, slammed that shit right in her face.
[00:08:17]  Chocolate sauce everywhere.
[00:08:19]  Fucking whipped cream everywhere.
[00:08:20]  She's like, Coco now, Coco now.
[00:08:26]  He turned her into a savage, bro.
[00:08:27]  I don't even believe those stories.
[00:08:29]  And people are like, oh, like the travelers went west and like five of their kids died.
[00:08:32]  No, no, no.
[00:08:33]  They killed them.
[00:08:33]  They killed the kids.
[00:08:34]  They killed the kids.
[00:08:35]  100%.
[00:08:35]  Oh, Johnny got Ricketts back in Oregon.
[00:08:38]  Typhoonic fever or whatever it is.
[00:08:39]  Now you left that motherfucker.
[00:08:41]  He's just wagging, dude.
[00:08:41]  Because they didn't have iPads.
[00:08:43]  Think about that.
[00:08:44]  You had to travel from like what, Denver to Oregon without iPads?
[00:08:48]  There are people called travelers.
[00:08:50]  They're gypsies.
[00:08:51]  And their choice in life.
[00:08:54]  It is to only travel with the kids.
[00:08:57]  And what do they do with their kids?
[00:08:58]  Send them around to go do scams in Paris.
[00:09:01]  And they drug them.
[00:09:01]  I think that's why they drug them.
[00:09:04]  That's the only way to travel with the kids.
[00:09:07]  Makes so much sense now.
[00:09:08]  Son, there is no way.
[00:09:10]  I used to feel, I used to think that those people were evil with the drug kids on the slip.
[00:09:15]  They're evil.
[00:09:15]  They're trying to get by, yeah.
[00:09:18]  They're travelers.
[00:09:20]  They're traveling every day.
[00:09:21]  They live in a Winnebago.
[00:09:22]  They're homeless.
[00:09:23]  They're fucking cars.
[00:09:24]  That's a good point.
[00:09:25]  They're evil.
[00:09:25]  They got me for 500 one time.
[00:09:27]  No, 500?
[00:09:28]  500.
[00:09:31]  You was walking around with $500.
[00:09:32]  I don't want to tell a story.
[00:09:34]  No, you have to tell it.
[00:09:36]  Which also, there's gypsy problems.
[00:09:38]  I kept this with a Detuck for like four years.
[00:09:41]  Tell me, tell me.
[00:09:42]  Shout out to the Roma, bro.
[00:09:43]  I love the Roma.
[00:09:44]  After they fucked over at this.
[00:09:46]  Tell me a story.
[00:09:47]  All right, so I'm traveling to Philly.
[00:09:49]  I'm at an American gypsy.
[00:09:51]  You got an American gypsy.
[00:09:52]  You dumb motherfucker.
[00:09:55]  They send their beauty in here.
[00:09:56]  This is the beauty.
[00:09:57]  We've got gypsies here.
[00:09:59]  I never met a gypsy in my life.
[00:10:00]  So, what did you think it was?
[00:10:01]  You're a Traveled dude, you've been around the world.
[00:10:04]  Big kid dude came to me, he's like, Yo, I'm charging.
[00:10:07]  And so he comes over to me, he's like, Yo, we ran out of gas, we have to go on this long trip.
[00:10:14]  We're seeing family.
[00:10:15]  The kids are like sick in the car.
[00:10:17]  He brings me over, the kids look sick in the car.
[00:10:20]  And I'm like, Yo, what do you need, bro?
[00:10:21]  He's like, Yo, don't worry, I'm gonna pay you back.
[00:10:23]  I promise.
[00:10:24]  He starts taking off his jewelry and shit like that.
[00:10:26]  You could hold this, you get the money.
[00:10:29]  Yep, bro, 500 slater, I'm in that room.
[00:10:32]  And I drove away with a Fake Rolex.
[00:10:34]  I'm a heck.
[00:10:35]  Wait, you kept the watch?
[00:10:36]  You kept the watch.
[00:10:37]  Fuck out of here.
[00:10:38]  I'll give my money back.
[00:10:39]  But yeah, they got me.
[00:10:40]  I never met a gypsy before in my life.
[00:10:41]  And usually our homeless, they never use kids.
[00:10:45]  Yeah.
[00:10:45]  So that was my first time.
[00:10:47]  Yeah.
[00:10:47]  And I felt bad for the gypsy.
[00:10:48]  The fact you kept the watch makes me feel no sympathy for you at all.
[00:10:51]  He was insisting.
[00:10:53]  That's the scam.
[00:10:54]  He was insisting.
[00:10:55]  A guy needed help and you were like, I'll help you.
[00:10:57]  But all of a sudden, do you know how gypsies are known for bare knuckle fighting?
[00:11:00]  Did you guys know that this is part of their history and lore?
[00:11:03]  The Irish gypsies.
[00:11:04]  But I know this is like the Gypsy King, like is part of this or not?
[00:11:07]  Of course, yeah.
[00:11:07]  A lot of these fighters come from that lineage.
[00:11:10]  But like the actual ones, there's this documentary called Knuckle where it goes into like what the actual street fights were about.
[00:11:19]  And there's like rules to this shit.
[00:11:21]  There's like a dirty one you could have where everything goes eye gouging, biting.
[00:11:26]  I watched a fight where a dude bit the dude's nose off, tip of his nose, bit that shit right off.
[00:11:30]  There was a dude that said, there was a dude that said, I'm fuck, I wish I knew his name.
[00:11:34]  He goes, after I bite someone's flesh off, I don't spit it out.
[00:11:39]  Because then he could sew it back on.
[00:11:41]  Damn.
[00:11:41]  I swallow it.
[00:11:44]  So he remembers the fight he had with me.
[00:11:47]  Anyway, what year is this, roughly?
[00:11:50]  I don't know.
[00:11:50]  Look up the documentary Knuckle.
[00:11:52]  I think it just came out recently, but it looks fucking amazing.
[00:11:53]  I was watching like a million Instagram clips about it.
[00:11:57]  Oh my God, it's so brutal.
[00:11:59]  This one right here, right?
[00:12:00]  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
[00:12:02]  And it's all literally Hatfield's and McCoy's.
[00:12:06]  It's all familial.
[00:12:08]  What is that called?
[00:12:09]  Blood feuds?
[00:12:10]  Yes.
[00:12:12]  I wouldn't say blood feud where you have to kill somebody.
[00:12:14]  Squash something in the ring.
[00:12:16]  So it's like if you guys have beef, you fight it out, and then that's where it is.
[00:12:20]  Allegedly.
[00:12:20]  It's like a duel or some shit.
[00:12:22]  Yeah.
[00:12:22]  I actually think that like Tyson Fury's dad got locked up for years because of something that happened in one of these fights.
[00:12:30]  Because Tyson Fury's dad was a gypsy, bare knuckle guy.
[00:12:34]  Anyway, the point I'm trying to say is they're so angry because they're traveling with kids.
[00:12:38]  Like, this is why these guys got a fight, is because their life is traveling with kids and they have like seven kids.
[00:12:46]  Yeah.
[00:12:47]  In one Winnipeg.
[00:12:48]  Yeah.
[00:12:49]  You got to get that out.
[00:12:50]  Yeah.
[00:12:51]  You got to get it out the system.
[00:12:53]  I'm so mad.
[00:12:54]  I reminded myself of that story and I'm still pissed the fuck off.
[00:12:57]  Shut out.
[00:12:58]  It's okay.
[00:13:00]  It is tough when we get got as New Yorkers because we're used to scams.
[00:13:04]  Yeah.
[00:13:05]  Yeah.
[00:13:05]  Like every moment you leave your house is a scam.
[00:13:08]  But they hit me with the new one.
[00:13:09]  I never saw that.
[00:13:10]  We're not used to that.
[00:13:11]  Yeah.
[00:13:11]  And the kids look sick in the back.
[00:13:14]  Yeah.
[00:13:14]  Yeah.
[00:13:14]  I feel like American scams are always like business oriented.
[00:13:17]  You know what I mean?
[00:13:17]  It's like, hey, I just need a dollar for this thing.
[00:13:19]  I'm trying to start something.
[00:13:21]  It's always vaguely entrepreneurial.
[00:13:23]  Whereas over there, gypsies will just be like, my family's dying.
[00:13:26]  Just say what you want to say.
[00:13:28]  It was.
[00:13:28]  It's a black kid dancing in the fucking subway.
[00:13:30]  I know, I know.
[00:13:31]  He's dancing around and shit, entrepreneurial.
[00:13:33]  That's not a scam, bro.
[00:13:34]  That's not a scam.
[00:13:35]  Entrepreneurs are like, yo, I'm doing this for my basketball team.
[00:13:38]  Yeah, I respect that.
[00:13:39]  That's a business.
[00:13:40]  I respect the basketball team.
[00:13:42]  But I respect that more than a pole dancer.
[00:13:44]  There was something happening when New York got gay.
[00:13:48]  It don't matter how nice you are pole dancing.
[00:13:50]  Like, why are we giving respect to that?
[00:13:51]  These guys are pole dancing on the subway.
[00:13:53]  They're doing flips and shit.
[00:13:54]  Come on, you got to get what you're pole dancing.
[00:13:55]  These hoes are doing.
[00:13:57]  The best hoes are doing flips too.
[00:13:59]  How do they not pause that?
[00:14:00]  Yeah.
[00:14:01]  How do they not pause that?
[00:14:02]  They're not taking their clothes off.
[00:14:03]  They're not taking their clothes off.
[00:14:05]  That's the difference.
[00:14:06]  They take their jackets off a lot.
[00:14:07]  I held them one time.
[00:14:08]  One time.
[00:14:09]  They give you their hat.
[00:14:11]  Take your hat back.
[00:14:13]  My first day in New York, I'm on the train with my suitcase and one of the guys is dancing and he goes, Hey man, can I get some water?
[00:14:19]  And I'm holding a water bottle.
[00:14:20]  I was like, uh, sure.
[00:14:22]  And he takes it, puts his lips on it, closes it, gives it back to me, and then leaves.
[00:14:26]  And I was just like, damn.
[00:14:28]  And that guy's been holding a pole on the subway all day.
[00:14:31]  That's maybe one of the more German-fested human beings.

=== Pole Dancing On Subway (02:11) ===

[00:14:35]  Yeah.
[00:14:35]  And I felt like an asshole.
[00:14:36]  Hey, hey, hey.
[00:14:38]  Why?
[00:14:39]  He's on public transit.
[00:14:41]  He's holding the pole.
[00:14:43]  I'm sure they're pure L after.
[00:14:44]  You know?
[00:14:46]  Let me just.
[00:14:46]  Come on.
[00:14:47]  Yeah, I'll give it a benefit of that.
[00:14:49]  This is coming from a guy who doesn't wash his hands.
[00:14:52]  I was just taking a shit.
[00:14:54]  I don't wash my hands.
[00:14:55]  You are the most.
[00:14:56]  I rode the subway my whole life.
[00:14:57]  That's why I didn't get COVID like you seven times.
[00:14:59]  Okay.
[00:15:00]  Oh, no, no.
[00:15:00]  New Yorkers didn't get COVID.
[00:15:02]  You do got weak ass.
[00:15:03]  No, you didn't get COVID.
[00:15:04]  I got it twice.
[00:15:05]  I got it twice.
[00:15:05]  But you, because you didn't build up your immunity.
[00:15:07]  You were here not taking the subway.
[00:15:08]  We've been taking the subway our entire lives.
[00:15:10]  I actually do think there's something to this.
[00:15:11]  There's nothing that hasn't been in my mouth.
[00:15:13]  Oh, my God.
[00:15:15]  I've been on the subway my whole life holding on to the pole.
[00:15:18]  Yeah.
[00:15:19]  There.
[00:15:19]  My little baby dropped his apple on the sidewalk, picked it up, ate it.
[00:15:23]  And I was like, oh.
[00:15:24]  That's okay, bro.
[00:15:25]  That's okay.
[00:15:26]  There's doo doo on that sidewalk.
[00:15:27]  Yeah, I know.
[00:15:28]  There's doo doo on it.
[00:15:29]  But now he's going to be built a little differently.
[00:15:31]  Your kid will be built different 100%.
[00:15:33]  That's why I'm not worried about hantavirus or whatever.
[00:15:36]  A little bit?
[00:15:37]  I'm not.
[00:15:37]  It spreads from rat poop.
[00:15:39]  Say again?
[00:15:39]  Rat poop is what?
[00:15:40]  Nah, but this new one is human to human.
[00:15:42]  Yeah.
[00:15:43]  So you got fucked.
[00:15:44]  But now we're fucked both ways because we got rats and humans.
[00:15:47]  Yeah.
[00:15:47]  Yeah, but it's some fucking like weird Dutchman that was using a rat as a vibrator or something like that.
[00:15:53]  You know, they're into some freaky shit over there.
[00:15:55]  You know the Dutch, those rat fuckers.
[00:15:57]  They're rat fuckers.
[00:15:58]  100% rat fuckers.
[00:15:59]  I don't want people to die, but I wouldn't mind another pandemic.
[00:16:02]  Yo.
[00:16:03]  I'm really, I'm really mad.
[00:16:04]  But we're not shutting it down again.
[00:16:06]  Nah, because we shut down with sun.
[00:16:07]  That's the, wait, that's the part I want.
[00:16:09]  It's not a shutdown and no one's dying.
[00:16:10]  How's it a pandemic?
[00:16:11]  What do you want?
[00:16:12]  We got to keep it open.
[00:16:13]  It's just people get sick.
[00:16:16]  We gotta keep it over you.
[00:16:17]  I like his version better.
[00:16:19]  I like everything.
[00:16:21]  We can't shut it down again, bro.
[00:16:22]  I got two kids.
[00:16:23]  We need to get their energy out.
[00:16:27]  I don't think we talked enough about the moms and dads that had kids in the house during the whole pandemic.
[00:16:32]  God bless them.
[00:16:34]  That's where you got 8 billion views.
[00:16:36]  Probably.
[00:16:37]  Low key?
[00:16:37]  Probably.
[00:16:38]  Look at where those views came from.
[00:16:40]  That's true.
[00:16:40]  What a spike was, right?
[00:16:42]  That spike happened in 2020.
[00:16:43]  Exactly.
[00:16:44]  Also, all of our shows, very quickly Salt Lake City.

=== Keeping Pandemics Open (06:31) ===

[00:16:46]  This coming weekend, thank you guys so much.
[00:16:48]  All shows are sold out.
[00:16:49]  I love you, Salt Lake.
[00:16:51]  June 5th and 6th, we're going to be at Virginia Beach.
[00:16:55]  June 5th and 6th.
[00:16:56]  So go grab tickets for that.
[00:16:57]  And then this summer, we're going to be at Great Outdoors Fest in Halifax, Nova Scotia, August 8th.
[00:17:03]  Theandrewschultz.com for all those tickets.
[00:17:05]  Thank you guys so much.
[00:17:06]  Everybody came out to the Netflix Joke Fest that Jelly Roll and I did.
[00:17:09]  That shit was crazy.
[00:17:10]  The Greek Theater.
[00:17:11]  That might be the most beautiful venue.
[00:17:14]  I mean, obviously, outside of my emotional connection to Madison Square Garden, but just.
[00:17:18]  Pure carved out of a forest, like unbelievable, awesome.
[00:17:23]  And thank you so much, everybody came out and saw us rock out.
[00:17:26]  And that was a pretty fucking awesome night.
[00:17:28]  So we really appreciate you, Mark.
[00:17:30]  What's up, people?
[00:17:31]  I'm going to be coming to a bunch of cities at the end of the year.
[00:17:33]  I'm going to Plano, Texas, Chandler, Arizona, Pasadena, California, San Diego, and Detroit.
[00:17:38]  You can find that all at markagnonlive.com.
[00:17:41]  I can't wait to see you guys there.
[00:17:42]  Thank you.
[00:17:43]  And guys, I have my tennis event this Saturday, May 16th.
[00:17:48]  Just head over to Theallloveclub.com.
[00:17:52]  Theallloveclub.com.
[00:17:54]  Get your ticket there.
[00:17:55]  There's like about five or 10 tickets left for this Saturday, but we have two more this summer.
[00:18:01]  So, yeah, if I don't see you this Saturday, I'll see you at the other dates.
[00:18:04]  Base.
[00:18:05]  Bro, do you do this thing when you travel on the plane?
[00:18:06]  Yes.
[00:18:07]  And your girl breastfeeds?
[00:18:09]  Do you screen?
[00:18:11]  Do you pull a screen that way people can't look?
[00:18:12]  Can I be honest with you, man?
[00:18:14]  Yeah.
[00:18:16]  Once you have kids, your wife's tits is for the streets, bro.
[00:18:19]  They really are, dude.
[00:18:21]  They really are.
[00:18:22]  I know it's Sounds crazy, but it's like you're not as protective over there as you are.
[00:18:27]  I want to all due respect to yourself.
[00:18:30]  That's crazy.
[00:18:31]  That's their decision.
[00:18:32]  It's not ours.
[00:18:33]  Their decision is for the stream.
[00:18:34]  You just gave your wife tits up for the stream.
[00:18:37]  I didn't.
[00:18:37]  That's crazy.
[00:18:38]  But that baby got to eat.
[00:18:40]  That baby got to eat, man.
[00:18:41]  But y'all don't cover?
[00:18:43]  The baby cover.
[00:18:43]  Sometimes you do a cover.
[00:18:45]  Sometimes the shirt kind of hangs.
[00:18:46]  And then sometimes I will set a pick and I'll try to cover a little bit.
[00:18:51]  Yeah, but protect your tits.
[00:18:52]  That's your tits.
[00:18:53]  And then she'll be like, what are you doing?
[00:18:54]  And I'm like, well, yeah, just in case.
[00:18:56]  She's like, it's fine.
[00:18:57]  Nah.
[00:18:58]  You gotta also just like the baby pulls off, and then he sucked the titty into an Aladdin shoe.
[00:19:05]  Oh!
[00:19:05]  And it's just like flat and curled at the ends.
[00:19:08]  Jesus Christ.
[00:19:10]  And then you dap them up.
[00:19:12]  You're like, yeah, boy, get that milk.
[00:19:14]  Get that milk, Leek.
[00:19:16]  Bro, I heard a story of a girl that popped it out to feed her baby, and then.
[00:19:20]  Someone else sucked on it?
[00:19:21]  No, no.
[00:19:22]  I seen that on the subway.
[00:19:23]  I seen that.
[00:19:24]  A girl popped her titty out.
[00:19:27]  Dude popped right off of the fucking pole and just started sucking on her titty.
[00:19:31]  No, she got up to go to the bathroom, gave the baby to her husband, forgot to pull her shirt up.
[00:19:35]  And just titty out.
[00:19:36]  Walked through the whole thing.
[00:19:37]  That's what I'm saying.
[00:19:37]  They stopped being as protective.
[00:19:40]  I remember I posted a carousel when it was a few days after Lincoln was born.
[00:19:44]  Yeah, he was wild for that.
[00:19:46]  I didn't even realize one of the pictures had my wife's titty out.
[00:19:48]  And my wife doesn't even like being on the internet.
[00:19:51]  And I was like, oh shit, I think the titty.
[00:19:54]  And my wife was like, ah, it's fine.
[00:19:57]  Wow.
[00:19:57]  Yeah.
[00:19:58]  They don't care.
[00:19:59]  It's a very different, like, it stops becoming a sexualized part of the body.
[00:20:04]  To y'all?
[00:20:09]  That's a good point.
[00:20:11]  But isn't that what's going on?
[00:20:26]  I bite off the flesh and I swallow it.
[00:20:29]  No, there's a thing where it just becomes a tool.
[00:20:32]  It becomes a tool for sustaining life.
[00:20:35]  Exactly.
[00:20:35]  Now, to you guys, you might still sexualize it.
[00:20:38]  But there's the thing.
[00:20:40]  It's like women didn't even know that we liked feet, all of us, every guy.
[00:20:45]  Until, like, some asshole made a big deal of it on the internet.
[00:20:49]  Well, you?
[00:20:50]  I'm not me.
[00:20:51]  You're one of the foremost spokespeople.
[00:20:53]  Yeah, you are.
[00:20:54]  For paddling feet?
[00:20:55]  Yeah.
[00:20:56]  I think you're known more for a foot lover than a paddle.
[00:20:58]  That's probably it.
[00:20:59]  Yo, but, like, I should have never said nothing.
[00:21:02]  Foot lover?
[00:21:02]  Yo, foot lover is mad disrespect.
[00:21:04]  No, but, like, you got girls in the Havillanas, but they're curling their toes now, so we can't see it.
[00:21:10]  You know what I mean?
[00:21:11]  Stop burkaing your feet up.
[00:21:13]  If you're wearing the Havillanas, You know what I mean?
[00:21:17]  It's a luau.
[00:21:18]  I don't know.
[00:21:19]  That's a Brazilian thing, isn't it?
[00:21:21]  Shit.
[00:21:21]  I thought it was Hawaiian.
[00:21:22]  No, no, no, luau's Hawaiian.
[00:21:25]  But the Javianas are Brazilian, aren't they?
[00:21:26]  Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[00:21:28]  Anyway, my point is that, like, we fuck up and we let the world know about our sexual proclivities when it just was like another part.
[00:21:35]  Like, if you're into shins, nobody even knows.
[00:21:37]  You're right.
[00:21:38]  Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[00:21:38]  The more you talk about it, the more it hides.
[00:21:41]  Exactly.
[00:21:41]  It's like a cat.
[00:21:42]  You got to let it come to you.
[00:21:44]  That was a little.
[00:21:45]  I think that makes sense.
[00:21:47]  If you chase a cat, it runs away.
[00:21:48]  You know what I mean?
[00:21:49]  So, you got to say nothing about the feet, keep it in the tuck, and then keep it in the tuck.
[00:21:54]  This is what happens when you grow up in New York.
[00:21:55]  This is a big issue, I think.
[00:21:57]  Why?
[00:21:57]  Because New York is not a sandal wearing place.
[00:22:00]  New Yorkers are not known for wearing sandals.
[00:22:02]  Mostly you don't wear sandals.
[00:22:03]  And then when you're walking on the street, like people judge me for wearing sandals on the regular basis in the summertime.
[00:22:08]  Yeah, you're disgusting.
[00:22:10]  But, like, why is wearing sandals on the sidewalk disgusting?
[00:22:12]  It's like, it's like.
[00:22:13]  You see New York streets?
[00:22:14]  Like, it's too close to the garbage.
[00:22:15]  No, no, you're making a good point.
[00:22:16]  Because it's so for me, it's like seeing a foot is like a Muslim dude seeing hair.
[00:22:22]  Yeah.
[00:22:22]  And they're like, he doesn't get to see it all the time, exactly.
[00:22:25]  And then he does, he's like, Oh, that's super attractive.
[00:22:27]  Thickest hair ever, yeah.
[00:22:28]  Yes, yeah, yeah.
[00:22:29]  That's a great point.
[00:22:30]  It's your forbidden fruit.
[00:22:31]  You should see, like, you ever seen an Eskimo look at a foot?
[00:22:35]  Yo, they must love being.
[00:22:36]  Oh, my God, bro.
[00:22:38]  I'm gonna look this up.
[00:22:39]  Oh, my God.
[00:22:40]  I think that's why they like narwhal because it's similar texture.
[00:22:45]  It's chewy.
[00:22:48]  You gotta dip it in soy sauce or whatever.
[00:22:50]  It's like a kid seeing Coco Mountain, bro.
[00:22:52]  Yes.
[00:22:52]  Oh, look, they wake up.
[00:22:54]  Now, I'm gonna look at foot fetters by geography.
[00:22:56]  I bet you could find a map of it.
[00:22:59]  Yeah, if you come from a barefoot place, there's no way.
[00:23:02]  Uh oh.
[00:23:03]  What do we got?
[00:23:03]  My whole theory's gone out the window.
[00:23:04]  What do we got?
[00:23:05]  States with the most foot fetishists.
[00:23:07]  Yep.
[00:23:08]  Okay.
[00:23:08]  New York.
[00:23:09]  It's all Andrew.
[00:23:10]  Chicago.
[00:23:13]  But these are two industrialized cities, so you're not going to really see feet that much.

=== Narwhal Texture Mystery (13:24) ===

[00:23:18]  Actually, maybe this goes to my theory.
[00:23:19]  So you got New York and Chicago, you're never going to see feet.
[00:23:22]  Yes.
[00:23:22]  Florida, Texas, Los Angeles.
[00:23:26]  You're going to see, I think, a lot of.
[00:23:28]  I think in Texas.
[00:23:29]  I don't think in Texas you do.
[00:23:30]  I think those are booted.
[00:23:31]  Yeah, those might be boot people.
[00:23:32]  That's a good point.
[00:23:33]  Florida is peculiar to me.
[00:23:35]  But what I would say is that the majority of people in Florida have moved there from New York.
[00:23:41]  That's a good point.
[00:23:42]  Right?
[00:23:42]  So it's like you're taking your fetish to a place where it's readily available.
[00:23:47]  Same as LA.
[00:23:48]  Same as LA.
[00:23:50]  Yeah.
[00:23:50]  Also, everybody in LA is in their car.
[00:23:52]  It's not really like a pedestrian place.
[00:23:54]  So you're not really seeing people walk around.
[00:23:56]  That's true.
[00:23:58]  That's true.
[00:23:59]  Yeah, that's a stupid ass theory, but it's true.
[00:24:01]  I mean, there might be something to it.
[00:24:03]  All right.
[00:24:04]  You want to talk about this, Rose?
[00:24:05]  Yes.
[00:24:05]  Let's talk about the Rose.
[00:24:07]  Al, you're sensitive, you feel a little uncomfortable about it.
[00:24:10]  I think it was a little harsh.
[00:24:12]  Okay.
[00:24:12]  Really?
[00:24:13]  What was harsh for you?
[00:24:16]  Cheryl Underwood's husband.
[00:24:19]  Oh, God.
[00:24:20]  So Cheryl Underwood is a legend, comedian.
[00:24:23]  It's been around forever.
[00:24:25]  And I guess her husband had committed suicide.
[00:24:28]  Yeah.
[00:24:29]  And like there was a lot of jokes going in.
[00:24:31]  Yeah.
[00:24:31]  But I saw her talk about an interview.
[00:24:32]  I think it was after.
[00:24:33]  I think it came out like today.
[00:24:35]  And she was like, that was her husband.
[00:24:37]  She was in the military.
[00:24:39]  And he was also in the military.
[00:24:41]  She was getting deployed or something.
[00:24:42]  This was like 30 years ago.
[00:24:44]  Oh, and they were married, and this is like the 90s, I think.
[00:24:47]  Oh, okay.
[00:24:48]  Something like that.
[00:24:49]  All right, I changed it.
[00:24:49]  I thought it was recent.
[00:24:50]  I'm like, God, you thought it just happened.
[00:24:52]  And a bunch of them called her.
[00:24:54]  Like Shane called before, according to him.
[00:24:56]  I think he said it in the row.
[00:24:57]  Yeah, Shane said he did.
[00:24:58]  Like he reached out to her and was like, Hey, is it cool if I said it?
[00:25:00]  She was like, Yeah, of course.
[00:25:01]  Yeah, but then what?
[00:25:02]  She's going to be a pussy and be like, No, it bothers me.
[00:25:04]  You know how God's going to be.
[00:25:06]  You're right.
[00:25:06]  It is a tough position to put her in.
[00:25:09]  Yeah.
[00:25:10]  I can see her just being like, I'd rather not.
[00:25:11]  It's really delicate.
[00:25:12]  Like I'm still reeling from it.
[00:25:13]  And then I think every comic would be like, All right, I get it.
[00:25:16]  Yeah, I don't think anybody would, but there is also a part of you that's on the roast.
[00:25:19]  You're like, all right, everything's freaking.
[00:25:21]  Yeah.
[00:25:21]  Yeah.
[00:25:22]  You don't want to be the one pussy on the roast that gives people, like, oh, you can't say this?
[00:25:25]  I guess.
[00:25:26]  But in that regard, she was totally fine with it, according to this interview.
[00:25:29]  Yeah, but yeah, 30 years, that's nothing.
[00:25:31]  Okay.
[00:25:32]  I wasn't saying that.
[00:25:34]  I was in no middle ground at all.
[00:25:37]  I was like, this went too far.
[00:25:39]  I was like, if one of my college hoes died right now, I was like, what else was hurting you?
[00:25:44]  What else was hurting you?
[00:25:46]  No, that was the main one, but I feel like, This one was just, and I know that's the nature of a roast.
[00:25:50]  It's just like, hey, say the most brutal thing you could think of, and maybe I'm just getting soft.
[00:25:55]  I thought it was rough.
[00:25:56]  But isn't that part of it?
[00:25:57]  But I love it.
[00:25:59]  Yeah.
[00:25:59]  But if that comedy flies and everybody's okay with that, why can't that comedy just be the standard?
[00:26:05]  Mark had a great point about this.
[00:26:07]  So, first off, I love roasts.
[00:26:10]  I genuinely love them.
[00:26:12]  I love all the Comedy Central roasts.
[00:26:13]  I love the Netflix roasts.
[00:26:15]  I just enjoy just rapid fire, clever jokes.
[00:26:18]  They're biting.
[00:26:19]  They're steaks.
[00:26:19]  It's live.
[00:26:20]  It's like the whole thing.
[00:26:21]  Perfect.
[00:26:21]  I think I would buy people more in New York.
[00:26:23]  You don't even see that all the time.
[00:26:25]  It's just awesome.
[00:26:26]  It's like the best.
[00:26:26]  But I do think, for the general public, having an environment for super dark, roasty, borderline aggressive comedy is nice when it exists within a specific forum.
[00:26:38]  Because you're primed for it.
[00:26:40]  You're basically telling everybody, hey, the worst jokes possible are going to be said.
[00:26:44]  So don't be surprised when they're said.
[00:26:46]  And prepare yourself for this.
[00:26:48]  Like if you click play, know that's what you're going to see.
[00:26:50]  Yeah.
[00:26:50]  Like if I'm at work in my office job at 8 a.m. and someone says one of these jokes to me, I would even be like, Oh, that's a little much for work.
[00:26:57]  You know what I mean?
[00:26:58]  If I meet someone for the first time.
[00:26:59]  Because you're not primed for this is going to be the craziest shit.
[00:27:02]  You're primed for this is corporate America and we're all going to, like, you know, put on a corporate face and a corporate accent and do our thing.
[00:27:08]  And that's funny.
[00:27:08]  Me, I like to ruffle feathers.
[00:27:10]  I'm like, oh, it's much better to say it in the place where it's unexpected than you.
[00:27:13]  I would enjoy that.
[00:27:14]  But I also recognize that I wouldn't say that joke in that environment.
[00:27:18]  You know what I mean?
[00:27:18]  If I'm meeting, like, my wife's parents for the first time, I wouldn't say some of these jokes.
[00:27:22]  If I'm hanging with my buddies, I might say some of them more.
[00:27:24]  You know what I mean?
[00:27:25]  If I'm at a comedy club, I might say most of them.
[00:27:27]  And then when you're at a roast, it is the exact environment to say all the worst possible things.
[00:27:31]  Gotcha.
[00:27:32]  Gotcha.
[00:27:32]  Is the point of it?
[00:27:33]  It's like you don't need, like, you shouldn't expect violence in everyday society, but at the UFC, you need violence.
[00:27:41]  Like, it requires it necessitates preparing you.
[00:27:43]  They're like, yo, someone's going to elbow someone in the face when they're passed out on the ground.
[00:27:46]  Yeah.
[00:27:47]  And there's probably, there could be blood and people might pass out.
[00:27:50]  Like, they might get knocked out cold.
[00:27:51]  Now, that doesn't mean that some people don't watch UFC and be like, this is too brutal for me.
[00:27:55]  Yeah.
[00:27:55]  It might be brutal.
[00:27:56]  Or, you know, ferocity is the same thing.
[00:27:58]  But at least it's like there's a framework put in place and an expectation for you going into it.
[00:28:03]  And I think sometimes when the clips hit the internet, Someone's scrolling and they have not subscribed to a roast.
[00:28:10]  Right?
[00:28:10]  So then they're looking at cat videos or whatever, and then this crazy joke comes out and they're like, yo, I didn't sign up for this.
[00:28:18]  I signed up for Mark Zuckerberg's Instagram.
[00:28:20]  Yeah.
[00:28:21]  So then they're caught off guard.
[00:28:22]  But I find it hard to believe that people that were like, I'm pressing play on this roast and I know it's going to be absolutely savage.
[00:28:30]  I find it hard to believe that those people would be like super offended.
[00:28:34]  Yeah.
[00:28:34]  I don't think anything.
[00:28:36]  Or, I didn't hear anything that was like offensive.
[00:28:39]  I just was like, oof, they really went there.
[00:28:41]  They went there.
[00:28:42]  And I like that shit.
[00:28:43]  Oh, there were some great jokes.
[00:28:45]  I also think there's a difference with like something.
[00:28:47]  I think you can be sensitive to something and still think it's funny.
[00:28:50]  Yes.
[00:28:50]  You know what I mean?
[00:28:50]  Like, I'll hear jokes, even just like at a club or whatever, where I'm like, oof, like that's like something for me personally where I'm like, oh, that's a little close.
[00:28:57]  But I still think it's so funny that I'm like, I don't care.
[00:29:00]  Because the funniness outweighs the sensitivity.
[00:29:02]  And the more sensitive something is, the funnier something has to be, which is why I like jokes that push the line of sensitivity.
[00:29:07]  Yeah.
[00:29:08]  Because it necessitates that it's that much funnier.
[00:29:10]  Yeah, I saw a bunch of clips and I watched some of it and I just thought the jokes were great.
[00:29:15]  And it was like everybody was going in, you know, it was gloves off.
[00:29:22]  I think the only time I'm like, oh shit, is when like anybody's kids get brought up.
[00:29:28]  And maybe it's because I'm a dad or whatever it is, or you just think about the kids as like, you know, they're just like young and kind of defenseless.
[00:29:34]  And it's not the person's life, it's somebody else's life.
[00:29:38]  Like even with the Tom, Brady Rose is like, I ain't saying shit about his kids, bro.
[00:29:43]  Like, I don't.
[00:29:43]  Because they didn't sign up to be in this environment.
[00:29:46]  Exactly.
[00:29:46]  But neither did his ex wife.
[00:29:48]  And we definitely made jokes about her ass.
[00:29:51]  Public figure.
[00:29:53]  That's also the other rule.
[00:29:54]  It's like, if your spouse is a public figure, then she's free game.
[00:29:59]  Who was it who called Kevin's wife a ladyboy?
[00:30:05]  No, Dave's wife.
[00:30:06]  Oh, Dave.
[00:30:07]  Naeem Lin.
[00:30:07]  Naeem Lin is a hilarious comedian.
[00:30:09]  Like one of Kev's boys.
[00:30:10]  He's in the Plastic Cup Boys.
[00:30:11]  But also, like, a hilarious stand up.
[00:30:18]  Yeah, he's like, uh, what did he say about Dave?
[00:30:21]  He's like, uh, oh, he went in.
[00:30:23]  He said, I don't know why he did that.
[00:30:25]  He said, uh, Dave wasn't even there.
[00:30:28]  He said, uh, Kevin hates you.
[00:30:30]  He goes, uh, Kevin hates you more than the transgender community hates you.
[00:30:34]  And then he goes, uh, I don't know why you hate transgender so much when your wife is a Filipino lady boy.
[00:30:40]  Yo, I was like, whoa, even Shane went up like that was interesting.
[00:30:45]  I'm sure he'll be totally okay with that.
[00:30:47]  Yeah.
[00:30:47]  Went hard, but I thought all the comics did great.
[00:30:50]  Tony killed, Tony crushed, bro.
[00:30:52]  Shane killed, Shane did great.
[00:30:54]  Uh, I mean, I thought Cheryl Underwood did great.
[00:30:56]  Yo, Shane bringing Chelsea up as he got his job sucked.
[00:31:03]  He goes, Uh, she was at a dinner with Epstein, and it wasn't even a big dinner, just a few people there, like Prince Andrew and uh Woody Allen.
[00:31:11]  You could look it up, there's articles, yeah, there's articles.
[00:31:14]  But anyway, give it up for Chelsea.
[00:31:19]  No joke.
[00:31:20]  It's just a fact about her life.
[00:31:22]  Unreal.
[00:31:23]  Yeah.
[00:31:24]  She's a Zionist.
[00:31:25]  Not that it's good or bad.
[00:31:26]  Yeah.
[00:31:26]  Speaking of dead babies.
[00:31:27]  I know.
[00:31:28]  Yeah.
[00:31:28]  That was great.
[00:31:31]  But yeah, Jeff did great.
[00:31:32]  And then the person that impressed me the most that I was so charmed by was Lizzo.
[00:31:37]  Oh, Lizzo was so good.
[00:31:38]  Lizzo was fantastic.
[00:31:40]  I didn't get up to it yet.
[00:31:41]  Yeah.
[00:31:42]  Oh, it's awesome.
[00:31:42]  She just had fun.
[00:31:43]  Like, you could tell, like, she was enjoying it, not just trying to do well.
[00:31:49]  And there's a version of, like, I just want to crush.
[00:31:51]  And then there's a version of, like, this is silly and naughty and, like, I'm in it.
[00:31:56]  Yeah.
[00:31:57]  And that energy, I think, always wins.
[00:31:59]  Yeah.
[00:31:59]  You know, like, so, yeah.
[00:32:01]  Yeah.
[00:32:02]  Even if, like, you might bumble a line, it doesn't matter because people are like, Oh, they're having fun and they're stoked to be in this moment.
[00:32:09]  And signing up to it, she knew she was going to get cooked.
[00:32:12]  I didn't even see her there.
[00:32:14]  She came out.
[00:32:15]  Yeah, I like that she was announced.
[00:32:16]  I think she was a guest.
[00:32:17]  Yeah.
[00:32:19]  She did that on purpose.
[00:32:20]  But then some people, I think, went after her.
[00:32:23]  Okay.
[00:32:23]  So they still had jokes for her.
[00:32:25]  Got it, got it, got it.
[00:32:27]  Okay.
[00:32:27]  What's the process for the roast?
[00:32:29]  Like, are all their jokes written by other people?
[00:32:33]  No, you get like a group of guys that will write jokes.
[00:32:37]  Okay.
[00:32:37]  So, like, the celebs usually have like a team of guys and they got like amazing fucking writers there.
[00:32:42]  Like, Mike Lawrence is fantastic, Dan St. Germain, another guy.
[00:32:45]  And like, and then everybody kind of just has like a team of guys and you work with them and you put together the set.
[00:32:52]  And essentially, that's what it is.
[00:32:53]  Got it.
[00:32:54]  Okay.
[00:32:54]  And it's like its own skill.
[00:32:55]  Like, roast jokes are, it's not like that doesn't translate to stand up, but it is a very specific type of thing.
[00:33:06]  And yeah, these guys are fucking amazing at it.
[00:33:08]  I also wonder if Netflix.
[00:33:09]  Contracts, writers, just in general.
[00:33:12]  Yeah.
[00:33:12]  So, like, Mike Lawrence was probably like maybe the, I'm assuming he was like the head writer.
[00:33:19]  So, he's there to make sure everybody has jokes.
[00:33:21]  And then he's also there to make sure that people's jokes aren't crossing over that much without telling other people.
[00:33:26]  Right.
[00:33:27]  So, like, I remember when we were doing Brady, he came in the room and I was like, hey, just tell me what any other people have without telling me anybody else's jokes.
[00:33:35]  Right.
[00:33:35]  Or I think you were even like, I'm going to do this joke.
[00:33:37]  And he was like, oh, yeah, no one's touching that.
[00:33:39]  Exactly.
[00:33:39]  Yeah.
[00:33:40]  Oh, okay.
[00:33:40]  So, it's like, because that's the other thing.
[00:33:42]  It's like, There's only so many short black jokes you can make about Kevin.
[00:33:47]  So you got to make sure each person's short black joke is different than the other.
[00:33:51]  There's only so many jokes about his movies sucking.
[00:33:54]  So you got to make sure they're different enough where the audience doesn't hear the same joke over and over again.
[00:33:58]  And that's the other reason why there's a dais.
[00:34:02]  Not only do you need people to tell jokes, you need people that are punching bags as well.
[00:34:06]  Ah, got it, got it.
[00:34:07]  Because it's just if every person only talks about Kevin, two hours in, you're like, all right, we heard it all.
[00:34:12]  Yeah, yeah.
[00:34:13]  Yeah.
[00:34:13]  But that's what makes going last in the roast or later in the roast so stressful because it's like everybody heard it.
[00:34:17]  You're sitting there and then other jokes are getting picked off.
[00:34:20]  You're kind of like crossing stuff out.
[00:34:21]  Like, all right, that joke got done.
[00:34:23]  Like, this one kind of got done.
[00:34:25]  And then you got to like make a choice.
[00:34:26]  Like, all right, is this one close enough?
[00:34:28]  Yeah, but I figure the head writer is picking those off before the thing is done.
[00:34:33]  Yeah, but like the topic has been broached.
[00:34:35]  So by like an hour and a half in, it's like, all right, we get it at Kevin's short.
[00:34:38]  Got it.
[00:34:39]  And whatever.
[00:34:40]  And like, I remember there was a time in Brady where like I noticed Dana in the audience.
[00:34:46]  And, like, I had a riff about him that I didn't have in the set, but I was like, oh, nobody's gonna hit him, or maybe they won't hit him because he's like an unannounced guest just in the crowd, but people are aware of him.
[00:35:00]  And those things can, you know what I mean?
[00:35:02]  It's like fresh meat, essentially.
[00:35:05]  So, being able to pull from those different things, I think, is valuable.
[00:35:09]  Yeah.
[00:35:09]  But there were some fucking bangers, dude.
[00:35:11]  There were some really.
[00:35:13]  Yeah.
[00:35:13]  Pete Davidson did great.
[00:35:15]  Yo, Pete did really good, man.
[00:35:16]  He was good.
[00:35:16]  Yeah, Pete did really good.
[00:35:18]  And also, think about Pete.
[00:35:21]  He knows if he's sitting there, he's going to relive his dad's death 10 times.
[00:35:26]  You know what I mean?
[00:35:27]  Like you're putting yourself in a line of fire.
[00:35:30]  And so that was cool to see.
[00:35:32]  Also, I saw a little thing from TMZ.
[00:35:33]  This is like, it's kind of like a nothing story, but like, Connie was apparently there.
[00:35:38]  No.
[00:35:38]  Yeah.
[00:35:39]  So I saw a video of someone like, like recording Connie from the corner.
[00:35:43]  And he doesn't really react, but like, he's there for all the jokes, which is kind of wild.
[00:35:46]  Get out of here.
[00:35:47]  Yeah.
[00:35:48]  That was to your point where, yeah, apparently he was in the crowd.
[00:35:50]  And that was to your point with like the Pete joke where Pete said to Tony, like, I've had a better gay Nazi.
[00:35:57]  Like, I've been in a beef with a better gay Nazi.
[00:35:59]  I'm not afraid of you.
[00:35:59]  I think that was because he knew Connie was there.
[00:36:02]  Oh, that's funny.
[00:36:03]  Wow.
[00:36:04]  Yeah.
[00:36:04]  Yeah.
[00:36:05]  Man, fuck.
[00:36:06]  Tony had a bit where he said, Chelsea Handler is aging like a vegetable in Lizzo's fridge.
[00:36:13]  Son.
[00:36:14]  One of my favorites from Tony was Regina Hall's here.
[00:36:17]  She starred in a movie, One Battle After Another, or as Lizzo calls it, Stairs.
[00:36:21]  Yeah, That's a lot of good ones.
[00:36:27]  One of the cool things that was happening at the Netflix's Joke Fest was a lot of the comedians were trying their jokes out during that week.
[00:36:34]  So I didn't get to go to the roast.
[00:36:36]  And wasn't watching it live because I was on a plane, but I'd heard a lot of them and then re watched it.
[00:36:40]  And I was like, oh, some of these made it, some of them got changed along the way.

=== Switching To Base Body Works (04:31) ===

[00:36:43]  Yes.
[00:36:43]  It was a really cool process if you got to go to that week before, too.
[00:36:46]  Yeah.
[00:36:46]  Yeah.
[00:36:47]  Like Tony was on Me and Jelly Show, and Tony tried some of the roast chokes out and like prep them.
[00:36:53]  And then Big J was great.
[00:36:54]  Oh, yeah.
[00:36:55]  Shout out Big J.
[00:36:56]  And then it was cool to see Cat pull up.
[00:36:58]  Oh, yeah.
[00:36:59]  Yeah.
[00:36:59]  There's a lot of speculation on whether like the beef is actually squashed.
[00:37:04]  What you dig?
[00:37:06]  I think if it is, it's really cool.
[00:37:08]  And I think, like, Kev extending the olive branch is really cool.
[00:37:11]  Kev also did a really funny thing because, like, everybody made fun of him for being a bad actor.
[00:37:18]  Like, they're like, your movies suck and you suck at acting.
[00:37:20]  And then he squashed the beef with Cat.
[00:37:21]  And then when he does his thing at the end, it's like, all of y'all said I was this horrible actor.
[00:37:26]  Well, you believe me when I said that I squashed my beef with Cat.
[00:37:31]  That was some of the best acting you've ever seen.
[00:37:33]  So it was like a fun.
[00:37:34]  That's good.
[00:37:35]  Yeah.
[00:37:35]  Fun setup.
[00:37:36]  But, like, Yeah, cool for cat to just show up.
[00:37:38]  Yeah.
[00:37:39]  All right, guys, take a break for a second.
[00:37:41]  You know that moment when you catch your reflection?
[00:37:43]  You notice your hairline isn't where it used to be, receding slowly.
[00:37:49]  You lie to yourself.
[00:37:49]  You say, nah, that's where it always was, but you know it wasn't.
[00:37:53]  Some of those hairs on the side are getting a little bit thinner.
[00:37:56]  Hymns makes it simple to actually do something about it.
[00:38:02]  You don't have to go bald.
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[00:39:29]  Also, I must say that most guys have no idea that the shampoo and body wash they've been using for years contain ingredients that can actually disrupt your hormones.
[00:39:40]  I didn't either until I looked it up.
[00:39:43]  And by me, I mean my wife.
[00:39:46]  Okay?
[00:39:47]  She looks up everything now.
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[00:39:56]  Okay, there's stuff that's been sitting in your shower for years that you've been rubbing into your scalp every single morning that your body has to fight off every single day.
[00:40:04]  It's wild.
[00:40:05]  We spend all this time thinking about what we eat, how we train, what supplements we take, and then we lather our entire head with chemicals we can't pronounce.
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=== Public Service Announcement (14:41) ===

[00:41:15]  Now let's get back to the show.
[00:41:16]  How'd The Rock do?
[00:41:17]  It was fun to watch the set.
[00:41:18]  It was fun.
[00:41:19]  Like he just is The Rock.
[00:41:20]  Like it wasn't so much like he had like a bunch of like super tight jokes.
[00:41:24]  He's just the he just walks in and everyone's like, Oh, The Rock.
[00:41:27]  He's also good at performing in front of an arena of people.
[00:41:31]  Exactly.
[00:41:31]  So he's like holding attention in the arena.
[00:41:34]  Yeah.
[00:41:34]  And then it was just going in about Kevin, his wife.
[00:41:37]  Just basically being like, call me.
[00:41:41]  It was very funny.
[00:41:42]  Okay.
[00:41:43]  But I liked it.
[00:41:43]  I just love roasts.
[00:41:45]  No, they're great.
[00:41:46]  They're great.
[00:41:47]  And it is a great opportunity, like, it is a great opportunity to see somebody celebrated and humbled.
[00:41:55]  Yeah.
[00:41:56]  And I think it's easier for humans to celebrate somebody while humbling them at the same time.
[00:42:02]  You know, like, if somebody gets a lot of success, like, maybe human instinct is just to start tearing them down.
[00:42:07]  So, in the process of celebrating you, we are going to tear you down.
[00:42:11]  It's probably like why dudes give birthday punches to their friends.
[00:42:14]  It's like, I can't just be nice to you all day.
[00:42:17]  Let me beat the shit out of you and then I can be nice to you.
[00:42:19]  So, it's like we're already doing this at like eight years old or whenever we start birthday punches.
[00:42:24]  Yeah.
[00:42:25]  But it seemed like there was some real animosity on that station.
[00:42:30]  That was one thing.
[00:42:31]  They weren't doing that great of acting.
[00:42:33]  I don't think Tony likes Chelsea Hammer that much.
[00:42:36]  And Chelsea was like shaking when she was like, there's a difference between Judaism and Zionism.
[00:42:40]  To Shane.
[00:42:41]  Yeah.
[00:42:41]  Is there a little party that wishes you did it?
[00:42:45]  I had some FOMO.
[00:42:47]  I'll be honest with you.
[00:42:47]  I did have a little bit of FOMO.
[00:42:49]  Because they asked you.
[00:42:50]  I just, this is what the agents basically reach out and they're just like, you know, hey, we heard it's going to happen.
[00:42:55]  Like, are you down?
[00:42:56]  And I talked to like Netflix about some other whatever.
[00:43:01]  And I just had to make a decision between like developing a new hour of material to go tour or doing the roast.
[00:43:09]  Because I know I wouldn't be able to do either.
[00:43:10]  I'd be like, I'm just going to lock myself in the fucking clubs and be working on my 10 minute thing.
[00:43:15]  It becomes the whole month.
[00:43:16]  Yeah, or yeah, as long.
[00:43:18]  Two months.
[00:43:18]  Two months, maybe.
[00:43:19]  If you really want to do it in like Excel.
[00:43:22]  Yeah.
[00:43:22]  You know, but in retrospect, there's also versions like, all right, maybe I should have just done it and just had some fun jokes and just had.
[00:43:28]  Yeah, you should have done it.
[00:43:29]  I know.
[00:43:29]  I have a little phone, but I'm also glad that I focus on stand up and I'm able to get back on the road.
[00:43:34]  And like that's, but yeah, that's it.
[00:43:36]  When you see it, you're like, oh man, that looks so much fun.
[00:43:40]  Fucking idiot.
[00:43:40]  I should have just fucking done it.
[00:43:42]  Stupid.
[00:43:42]  Well, it's nice to do it.
[00:43:43]  It's the three months preparing where you're in fight camp.
[00:43:46]  Yes.
[00:43:46]  You know what I mean?
[00:43:47]  Like putting everything else off, not traveling with your kids.
[00:43:50]  Yes.
[00:43:50]  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
[00:43:52]  I got to travel with my kids and shit.
[00:43:54]  You got the benefit of that.
[00:43:55]  It was good.
[00:43:55]  Yeah.
[00:43:56]  But no, it was, I don't know.
[00:43:57]  It was just cool to see.
[00:43:58]  They need Tiger to do it.
[00:44:00]  Tiger Woods got to be the next one.
[00:44:01]  Yeah.
[00:44:02]  There was, he doesn't seem like he got a sense of humor.
[00:44:05]  Perfect.
[00:44:05]  But that's even better.
[00:44:07]  I like it when it's celebs, I think, a little more.
[00:44:11]  That's what I liked about the Comedy Central ones is like I enjoy seeing people kind of out of their element.
[00:44:15]  Yes.
[00:44:15]  Like when Beaver did it, like Charlie's vulnerability of it.
[00:44:19]  Yeah.
[00:44:19]  You know, like a comedian is not to say that this wasn't awesome, but they're a little bit better at maybe like taking jokes about themselves.
[00:44:27]  Like Kevin might be one of the best ever.
[00:44:29]  At taking jokes.
[00:44:30]  Yeah.
[00:44:31]  Like, he'll tell you stories about going through it at the cellar.
[00:44:34]  I mean, stories of him and Patrice.
[00:44:35]  Patrice used to throw a phone book at him while he was on stage.
[00:44:39]  Yeah.
[00:44:40]  He's like, read this.
[00:44:41]  This is better than you act.
[00:44:43]  So, like, Kev is probably historically maybe one of the best ever.
[00:44:48]  Rich Voss is another one who's like amazing at roasting, but he's a great person to get into a roast with.
[00:44:54]  Yeah.
[00:44:55]  Like, he doesn't get sensitive.
[00:44:56]  He gets like jazzed up by it.
[00:44:58]  I mean, all those, all the like OG cellar guys.
[00:45:00]  Yeah.
[00:45:00]  Bobby Kelly, Jim Norton.
[00:45:02]  Like, Literally, my goats, like the people I would just look and watch at the back table and be like, This is Keith Robinson, Ledge.
[00:45:10]  So, yeah, so that was, but yeah, when you see a celebrity that's not used to getting teased, there's something about it.
[00:45:16]  It kind of adds some stakes to it.
[00:45:18]  You're like, Oh shit, they're angry.
[00:45:20]  Like when Tom Brady walked up to Jeff Ross and goes, Don't talk about my fucking kids.
[00:45:24]  Yeah.
[00:45:25]  At the roast.
[00:45:26]  That was real.
[00:45:28]  Oh, really?
[00:45:28]  No, it wasn't, Don't talk about my kids.
[00:45:30]  He actually said, Don't talk about Bob Craft.
[00:45:32]  Yeah.
[00:45:33]  Okay.
[00:45:34]  Yeah.
[00:45:34]  And that was real?
[00:45:35]  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
[00:45:38]  Like, it's just kind of crazy because there's something else at play, like, Brady doesn't need to do it, you know what I mean?
[00:45:44]  Yeah, apparently, I think Jeff was talking to Rogan about it, and he was like, Brady wanted to do it because that's he loves roasts.
[00:45:49]  Oh, apparently, Brady, like, when he's like in the locker room, like a couple hours before a game, like, kind of like decompressing or like trying to escape a little bit, he'll like, or maybe after game, whatever, but like, he'll just watch roasts, like old comedy central roasts.
[00:46:01]  That's crazy, and he was like, I like these kinds of jokes, and he wanted to do that, like, for comedies, like, I wanted.
[00:46:06]  I want to relive this era of stand up.
[00:46:09]  They also paid him $20 million.
[00:46:11]  That helps.
[00:46:11]  But for Tom Brady, I mean, that's what is that?
[00:46:14]  He said a funny thing.
[00:46:15]  He's like, people are like, I can't believe that you let people talk about your ex wife like that or something like that.
[00:46:21]  And he's like, You can't believe I did this.
[00:46:23]  It's like my ex wife cheated on me with a fucking jujitsu instructor.
[00:46:29]  He goes, I don't know a man on this planet that wouldn't take $20 million for people to make fun of her for that.
[00:46:37]  But the ex wife is fair game, but your former boss is off limits.
[00:46:42]  Boss never cheated on him.
[00:46:44]  Well, he did let him get traded to Tampa, but, you know, he, I think he, damn, you're right about that.
[00:46:53]  He walks up to him and says, yo, talk about that Brazilian bitch.
[00:46:56]  He's not this guy over here, Bob Craft.
[00:46:58]  Bob Craft took me to Israel, bro.
[00:47:00]  I mean, it's kind of like how you guys are with the Knicks, you know?
[00:47:04]  Like people shit on him.
[00:47:05]  You guys get all this shit.
[00:47:06]  Yo, Mark, don't get fucked up.
[00:47:07]  Yo, yo, don't get fucked up.
[00:47:08]  You haven't been fucked up in the middle of a podcast before?
[00:47:10]  See how sensitive.
[00:47:11]  I'm just saying.
[00:47:12]  Like, have you ever?
[00:47:13]  There's a weird feeling in New York right now.
[00:47:17]  What?
[00:47:17]  That it's like a jinx is coming?
[00:47:19]  Why?
[00:47:20]  Why?
[00:47:20]  Why do you even got to say that?
[00:47:21]  I'm asking.
[00:47:22]  I'm asking if that's what you're going to say.
[00:47:24]  New York is one of the most arrogant.
[00:47:26]  Chill out.
[00:47:26]  Chill out.
[00:47:27]  I'm asking.
[00:47:28]  I'm asking.
[00:47:28]  Motherfuckers on the planet.
[00:47:29]  That's part of our charm.
[00:47:32]  But we ain't used to things going this well with the mix.
[00:47:36]  And it's creating an interesting feeling.
[00:47:40]  Like even at the cellar last night, there was a couple of comics came up to me and they're like, hey, man, how about those?
[00:47:45]  And I was like, don't even talk about it.
[00:47:47]  He's like, I was talking to Mike Cannon.
[00:47:48]  He goes, hey, man, how about those?
[00:47:49]  I was like, let's not even talk about it.
[00:47:50]  He's like, you're right.
[00:47:51]  I don't want to talk about it either.
[00:47:53]  It's like, yeah.
[00:47:54]  It's like Voldemort.
[00:47:55]  It's like, don't even mention it.
[00:47:56]  Things are going all right, bro.
[00:47:58]  Low key, I haven't been watching.
[00:47:59]  I'm hesitant.
[00:48:00]  Oh, that might be it.
[00:48:02]  I'm hesitant to buy a ticket.
[00:48:03]  I'm like, I ain't go to a single game this season.
[00:48:06]  Maybe that's why.
[00:48:09]  Just say they're expensive.
[00:48:12]  Say they're expensive, bro.
[00:48:13]  That's too expensive.
[00:48:15]  It's expensive studios.
[00:48:16]  That's why I'm not buying a board size seat.
[00:48:19]  That's why I don't want to jinx them.
[00:48:20]  But the dead ass, I ain't go to a single game, but like, yo, we've never been better.
[00:48:24]  Son, I was.
[00:48:25]  Following the game.
[00:48:26]  I'm bad luck.
[00:48:26]  New Yorkers are so annoying.
[00:48:27]  You tell them you believe in God.
[00:48:28]  They're like, oh, you're a religious moron.
[00:48:30]  Yeah.
[00:48:31]  And then you tell them you like wore a Knicks jersey on the wrong day.
[00:48:33]  And they're like, dude, you can't do that.
[00:48:35]  It's part of a special spell.
[00:48:37]  It makes no sense.
[00:48:38]  You guys don't believe.
[00:48:38]  You believe in demons.
[00:48:39]  Shut the fuck up.
[00:48:40]  Bro, there's a whole book dedicated to it.
[00:48:43]  I believe in demons too.
[00:48:44]  And whatever demons have been putting pressure on my Knicks for the last six, seven, four years, please alleviate some of that shit this year.
[00:48:51]  Demons.
[00:48:52]  It is, son, the energy.
[00:48:55]  I've never felt this.
[00:48:57]  People don't even want to talk about it in the group chat.
[00:49:00]  Like, I have my group chats for basketball games go crazy.
[00:49:03]  And there's just like third quarter, we're up by 40.
[00:49:06]  Someone would be like, looking good.
[00:49:11]  Someone put a broom emoji.
[00:49:13]  I think Jamil put the broom emoji in the group chat.
[00:49:16]  Nobody even responds.
[00:49:19]  The second the game was over, like, yeah, we got that sweep.
[00:49:22]  So I posted one video that a guy made.
[00:49:25]  It was like a song about it, about us sweeping Philly.
[00:49:31]  And even after that, I was like, I ruined it, dude.
[00:49:35]  Like, I was.
[00:49:36]  Oh, you posted it before the game?
[00:49:38]  After.
[00:49:38]  It was even after.
[00:49:39]  I'm like, we still got another city.
[00:49:43]  When is the next game?
[00:49:45]  This, the, what's it called, series is 2 2.
[00:49:47]  So we got to wait for them to settle that.
[00:49:49]  So we got a little time to fuck shit up.
[00:49:51]  Yeah, they got to start partying and shit.
[00:49:54]  Yo, everybody just don't go to Miami and get on the yacht.
[00:49:58]  Don't make the mistake that the fuck.
[00:50:00]  You saw the interview with Jalen?
[00:50:02]  They were like, How do you feel the fact that they built this team around you to win a championship and it's working?
[00:50:07]  And his response was cool.
[00:50:08]  He was like, Look, right now I'm focused on this.
[00:50:11]  I'll answer that question years from now when it's all said and done.
[00:50:14]  Or something like that.
[00:50:14]  He seemed like he was very locked in.
[00:50:15]  New York, New York.
[00:50:18]  This is a public service announcement.
[00:50:21]  If you see any of these motherfuckers at the club, snitch, I don't even want you guys at Carbone, Terese.
[00:50:28]  I don't want you at Fort Charles.
[00:50:30]  I don't even want you eating red meat for the next month.
[00:50:33]  If you see any Knicks out of the house, you gotta call 311.
[00:50:38]  What's the emergency hotline?
[00:50:39]  Is it 311?
[00:50:40]  You call 311 and you report them immediately.
[00:50:43]  You guys gotta be in your houses in Westchester, Jersey, or Connecticut, wherever the fuck they stay.
[00:50:47]  No fucking hoes.
[00:50:48]  No hoes.
[00:50:49]  No fucking hoes.
[00:50:49]  And New York hoes, by the way, New York hoes.
[00:50:52]  Help.
[00:50:52]  Yeah.
[00:50:53]  Stay away.
[00:50:54]  Stay away.
[00:50:54]  Keep that pussy closed for one month.
[00:50:57]  Exactly.
[00:50:58]  This is blood sport.
[00:50:59]  We need these motherfuckers filled with testosterone for the next month.
[00:51:05]  Do not drain these guys, please, New York hoes.
[00:51:07]  Yeah.
[00:51:08]  I would say Cleveland, Detroit hoes, but I'm not worried about y'all.
[00:51:15]  We're not fucking with y'all anyway, so you try your best.
[00:51:17]  Do whatever you do to come up.
[00:51:19]  We are not worried about either Cleveland or Detroit O's draining New York balls.
[00:51:23]  You try your hardest.
[00:51:25]  Do what we've been to Detroit and Cleveland.
[00:51:27]  Okay?
[00:51:28]  We're coming back home to the wives.
[00:51:31]  That away game is just that.
[00:51:33]  There's no concern over here for our New York Knicks about getting caught up some shit in Cleveland or Detroit.
[00:51:39]  Yeah, that is pretty good.
[00:51:40]  Shit.
[00:51:41]  Or OKC.
[00:51:44]  Who do you think's going to the finals on the West?
[00:51:47]  I don't even know who's in it.
[00:51:48]  OKC or maybe San Antonio?
[00:51:51]  Probably OKC, most likely.
[00:51:53]  Yeah, so we have a clear path in terms of hoes to the.
[00:51:57]  I don't even want to say the words.
[00:51:59]  But if it's LA versus New York, they could throw some serious distraction at the boys.
[00:52:07]  You got to watch out for OG.
[00:52:09]  Say again?
[00:52:10]  OG.
[00:52:11]  Oh, yeah, with the hammy?
[00:52:12]  Yeah.
[00:52:14]  Wait, what?
[00:52:14]  And the hoes.
[00:52:15]  Wait, what do you mean?
[00:52:16]  He brings the hoes out.
[00:52:17]  Yeah, we can't have all that.
[00:52:18]  You got to chill out.
[00:52:19]  Chill out.
[00:52:20]  Yeah, are we even allowed to look at that?
[00:52:22]  At the odds right now, or is this?
[00:52:24]  Look at the West.
[00:52:26]  Yeah, look at the West.
[00:52:26]  What is the Cow she have the West at?
[00:52:29]  Who's coming out of the West?
[00:52:31]  San Antonio or Oklahoma?
[00:52:34]  74 on San Antonio or on Oklahoma, sorry.
[00:52:37]  Yeah.
[00:52:37]  Yeah.
[00:52:38]  Yeah, most likely he's going to be OkC, but we got, I mean, nothing.
[00:52:43]  We'll see.
[00:52:43]  We can see what happens.
[00:52:45]  Yep, yep.
[00:52:46]  Best team will win.
[00:52:47]  Yeah, made a best team win.
[00:52:48]  Yep.
[00:52:49]  Now y'all are making the superstition.
[00:52:52]  Yeah.
[00:52:53]  I don't think you know what this means, bro.
[00:52:55]  I really don't.
[00:52:56]  Honestly, I know.
[00:52:57]  If the Knicks win, we will make Mamdani a citizen.
[00:53:02]  I think he's a citizen.
[00:53:03]  Nah.
[00:53:03]  Double citizen.
[00:53:04]  We're going to make him a double citizen.
[00:53:07]  Keith's a citizen.
[00:53:09]  He's going to get what he gets to be, whatever he wants in the United States.
[00:53:13]  He could use his African accent.
[00:53:16]  If he wins, he could use his African accent for the rest of the week.
[00:53:20]  A If he wins, I mean, the Soviets are good at sports.
[00:53:33]  Whoa, whoa, whoa.
[00:53:34]  I'm just saying, the Soviets, they had a great run.
[00:53:36]  Fucking Tommy.
[00:53:37]  Yes, this guy.
[00:53:38]  I'm hoping you got the right on, too.
[00:53:40]  There's something about a little Soviet, you know what I mean, hammer and sickle vibes that makes a good sports team.
[00:53:45]  That's all I'm saying.
[00:53:47]  Maybe we could use a little more of that.
[00:53:49]  Think about it all the women in burqas, the men are going to be smashing a little more testosterone, right?
[00:53:56]  You would think that the Middle East would be better at sports if that was the case, right?
[00:54:00]  I don't even know if they got athletes.
[00:54:02]  Is there a sport that they're good at over there?
[00:54:04]  Well, when they go somewhere else, then they get really good.
[00:54:07]  For example, they go to France.
[00:54:09]  You know what I mean?
[00:54:09]  But who from the Middle East went to France?
[00:54:12]  From like Northern Africa.
[00:54:13]  Northern Africa.
[00:54:14]  Yeah, of course.
[00:54:15]  I mean, Zinedine Zidane, Kareem Benzo.
[00:54:17]  But that's Africa.
[00:54:18]  I'm talking about the Middle East.
[00:54:20]  I mean, Mosallah goes to England?
[00:54:23]  Mosallah is from Egypt.
[00:54:25]  Yeah.
[00:54:26]  That's the Middle East.
[00:54:27]  It's Africa.
[00:54:27]  My boy, my boy.
[00:54:28]  That's the Middle East.
[00:54:32]  My boy, my boy.
[00:54:35]  You don't consider Egypt the Middle East?
[00:54:42]  No.
[00:54:43]  I mean, if I'm being honest with you, I do, but not for this nigga.
[00:55:00]  It's Africa.
[00:55:02]  It's Africa.
[00:55:04]  It's Africa Let me find out what the best athletes are in the Middle East or even sports.
[00:55:15]  They're probably good at like darts or something.
[00:55:16]  Nah, darts is a drinking man's game.
[00:55:18]  Yeah, you got to drink to do that one.
[00:55:20]  That's a good point.
[00:55:22]  Why would you think they'd be good at that?
[00:55:24]  Yeah, why was that?
[00:55:25]  I don't know.
[00:55:25]  I just figured it'd be like kind of an obscure sport where you're like hitting a small target from a long distance away.
[00:55:30]  You think that they'd be good at that for some reason?
[00:55:33]  Some of them.
[00:55:34]  They had a good run in the early 2000s, you know?
[00:55:39]  They had a good run a little bit.
[00:55:41]  Which country in specific do you think would be so good at that?
[00:55:45]  I mean, you know.
[00:55:46]  Mark, do you have any.
[00:55:47]  Some of the Saudi boys were pretty good.
[00:55:49]  You think that's back in the day, those were big targets, though.
[00:55:52]  Like, I mean, sort of, you can't even miss it.

=== Darts Is A Drinking Game (04:05) ===

[00:55:56]  No, you can miss it, honestly, dude.
[00:55:58]  You could miss it.
[00:55:59]  I don't think you could, which would be so embarrassing.
[00:56:01]  I wanted to loop around, bro, dude, going straight down the middle and slicing between them, like that dude in the wingsuit.
[00:56:09]  Like, you just go right between them, everybody's confused.
[00:56:12]  Like, oh, somebody saved it.
[00:56:13]  Then you see it slowly.
[00:56:16]  That would be nuts.
[00:56:21]  Like, you're doing tricks on it.
[00:56:22]  Yeah, I don't know.
[00:56:24]  It doesn't seem like there's a.
[00:56:26]  Soccer is what they say, but I can't think of the best Emirati or Saudi soccer player or Omani.
[00:56:32]  Yeah, I don't think they got it, man.
[00:56:33]  Yeah, I don't think they got it.
[00:56:35]  Anyway, shout out to Knicks, man.
[00:56:37]  And we got your back.
[00:56:38]  We're here, and the whole city is coming together.
[00:56:40]  So, whatever you guys need, we got you.
[00:56:43]  But we also are going to call 311 if we see you out at the clubs or see you getting after hoes.
[00:56:48]  And I think that that's like our responsibility as a city to do.
[00:56:51]  Yeah, yeah.
[00:56:52]  Given that our tax dollars are going to pay for these arenas to be built, etc.
[00:56:56]  Yeah.
[00:56:57]  You know, we've been supporting you guys all year.
[00:56:59]  But no snitch rule doesn't apply now.
[00:57:01]  Yeah.
[00:57:02]  I don't even think it's snitching, bro.
[00:57:04]  It's not.
[00:57:04]  Nah, it's snitching.
[00:57:05]  It's a civic duty.
[00:57:05]  I think it's a civic duty.
[00:57:06]  Yeah.
[00:57:07]  But if you see something, say something.
[00:57:08]  If you see something, say something.
[00:57:09]  Nut off and shit like that, and you snitching on them.
[00:57:11]  Yeah, come on.
[00:57:12]  I mean, like, you could get your nut off next month, bro.
[00:57:15]  Yeah.
[00:57:15]  Imagine the nuts you're going to get off with a championship.
[00:57:17]  Yep.
[00:57:18]  Imagine a caliber.
[00:57:20]  Okay.
[00:57:22]  You're thinking about the type of nuts a dude's going to get off.
[00:57:25]  Can I think about the size of the thing about how much hypothetically, if someone wins the championship, someone think of the pussy, they're gonna be drowning.
[00:57:36]  Think about how big those nuts will be everywhere they want, anywhere on this podcast.
[00:57:42]  I think, man, I mean, it's easy for me to say as a married man, yeah, you know, but like, I think Martha Stewart got to open up for the boys.
[00:57:55]  Why Martha Stewart?
[00:57:58]  That was.
[00:58:01]  Did you mean to say Martha's too?
[00:58:03]  Nah.
[00:58:05]  That's interesting, man.
[00:58:07]  That's so bad.
[00:58:08]  I knew he was thinking of someone, and it wasn't with you.
[00:58:14]  Yeah, man.
[00:58:14]  Who was I thinking of, man?
[00:58:16]  No, you said.
[00:58:18]  I think Margaret Thatcher needs to open up for the boys, man.
[00:58:23]  I think Margaret Thatcher needs to give it up for the boys.
[00:58:28]  Did I get that one wrong again, too?
[00:58:30]  I think, I hope you got it wrong.
[00:58:32]  I don't think it was Margaret Thatcher.
[00:58:35]  Someone.
[00:58:36]  Someone's got to open it up.
[00:58:39]  Knowing that we know.
[00:58:40]  Honestly.
[00:58:42]  Mark's grandmother.
[00:58:43]  Joe, with all due respect.
[00:58:46]  Come on, bro.
[00:58:48]  I mean, for a Knicks championship, that's a two for one.
[00:58:52]  Yeah.
[00:58:53]  She won us the war.
[00:58:54]  This is the next one.
[00:58:55]  This is the next war.
[00:58:56]  And this is almost like a more unlikely scenario.
[00:58:59]  But if they threw in a Spitfire, if you get.
[00:59:03]  If you get.
[00:59:07]  If you had her just spinning like a little chicken on the rotisserie.
[00:59:11]  That's right.
[00:59:12]  Come on, man.
[00:59:13]  With all due respect.
[00:59:14]  British intelligence?
[00:59:17]  Let's not talk about foreign spies.
[00:59:19]  Oh, let's not talk about foreign spies infiltrating our.
[00:59:22]  Can we do feelings, no facts?
[00:59:24]  Yes.
[00:59:24]  All right, guys, take a break for a second.
[00:59:26]  Here's something that anyone who's ever hired anyone will tell you the difference between a good hire and a nightmare hire usually isn't the resume, it's whether the person actually wants the job.
[00:59:37]  You can have two candidates with identical experience, same school, same title, same years of experience, and one of them is going to be a home run and the other one is going to be a disaster.
[00:59:46]  And the only thing separating them is that one of them.
[00:59:50]  Is genuinely excited about the role.
[00:59:52]  They've done their homework.
[00:59:53]  They ask real questions.
[00:59:54]  They seem like they actually fit.
[00:59:56]  The other one is just looking for a job, not your job.
[01:00:00]  Big difference.

=== Hiring Qualified Candidates First (03:14) ===

[01:00:01]  Excitement matters.
[01:00:02]  It tells you everything.
[01:00:04]  So if you're hiring and you want a candidate who's passionate about your role, but you can't get that insight from a resume unless you post your job on ZipRecruiter.
[01:00:11]  And now you can try it for free at ziprecruiter.comslash flagrant.
[01:00:15]  Here's why it works ZipRecruiter has a new feature that actually shows you the most interested qualified candidates first.
[01:00:22]  So you're not Sifting through hundreds of resumes, trying to figure out who actually wants to be there.
[01:00:27]  The candidates can tell you, in their own words, why they want your job.
[01:00:32]  And ZipRecruiter's matching tech finds qualified people fast.
[01:00:36]  No wonder it's the number one rated hiring site on G2.
[01:00:39]  So find candidates who really want your job on ZipRecruiter.
[01:00:44]  Four out of five employers who post on ZipRecruiter get a quality candidate within the first day.
[01:00:49]  Try for free at zipRecruiter.comslash flagrant.
[01:00:52]  That's zipRecruiter.comslash flagrant.
[01:00:54]  Meet your match on ZipRecruiter.
[01:00:56]  All right, guys, listen up.
[01:00:57]  We are actually doing something meaningful for once, all right?
[01:01:01]  It's called the Life Paddle Classic.
[01:01:02]  And huge shout out to NeuroGum because they are supporting it.
[01:01:05]  We are getting everybody together for paddle good vibes, a little competition, and most importantly, raising money for families going through IVF.
[01:01:14]  And this is the important part 100% of the proceeds are going directly to BabyQuest.
[01:01:20]  That's the IVF charity that I've been working with.
[01:01:22]  They're an absolutely phenomenal organization.
[01:01:24]  They're helping families who are struggling with the insane costs of IVF.
[01:01:29]  And we're gonna help them, okay?
[01:01:31]  We're trying to help take care of some of that burden off of people.
[01:01:34]  Now, if you can't pull up to the event, you can still support it by grabbing the Andrew Schultz and Neuro Dad Bundle, okay?
[01:01:41]  You get the energy and focus gum and the sleep and recharge gum.
[01:01:45]  So you got the energy for the day, and then you got some sleep when you're ready to get that rest.
[01:01:50]  And every dollar that you guys support is gonna go to the cause.
[01:01:55]  And I mean that sincerely.
[01:01:56]  This is something obviously very near and dear to my hearts and many different people who've gone through this process.
[01:02:01]  So any support that you guys.
[01:02:03]  Can give is absolutely amazing.
[01:02:05]  So, whether you play paddle, you just want to help people that are trying to become parents, this is a really good one to get behind.
[01:02:13]  The Life Paddle Classic, June 4th, Paddle House in Dumbo, Brooklyn.
[01:02:18]  Come hang, man.
[01:02:19]  Come compete, support the cause.
[01:02:21]  Let's just do something great together.
[01:02:23]  I really, really appreciate you if, yeah, if you're just indulging in this in any way.
[01:02:29]  So, you can go to the link below, you get the Andrew Schultz and Nero Dad Bundle, and help us raise money for families going through IVF.
[01:02:35]  Remember, every single dollar goes directly to Baby Quest.
[01:02:38]  There are limited quantities available, so do not wait.
[01:02:40]  Go to neurogum.comslash pagesslash Schultz and be part of something that actually changes lives, hopefully creates many, many, many lives.
[01:02:50]  And we'll be continuing to do more with Baby Quest.
[01:02:54]  And a huge shout out to Paddle House for hosting it.
[01:02:57]  It's an absolutely amazing place to go play paddle.
[01:02:59]  You guys should do that outside of this charity event.
[01:03:03]  But definitely come hang out at the charity event, have some fucking drinks, have some food, choose some neurogum, and just hang.
[01:03:09]  So June 4th, that's where we're going to be.
[01:03:11]  We'll see you there.
[01:03:12]  Okay, let's just go to feelings on facts and just rip through these as fast as possible, okay?

=== Punitive Measures For Treason (12:37) ===

[01:03:16]  There's a Chinese spy that's the mayor in a town in California.
[01:03:20]  Did you hear about this?
[01:03:20]  Arcadia.
[01:03:21]  Mm hmm.
[01:03:23]  Mm hmm.
[01:03:23]  I've been trying to tell y'all.
[01:03:24]  Yo, can we give out a little credit?
[01:03:25]  Come on, man.
[01:03:26]  Give out a little credit on this podcast right now, today.
[01:03:29]  Everybody listening, everybody watching, Alex Media has said that there is a Chinese spy network that has been operating in the United States for the last decade that he's been on this podcast.
[01:03:38]  He's been called racist for this.
[01:03:40]  Yep.
[01:03:40]  He's been called hateful for this.
[01:03:42]  I don't know if I'll ask, but they said you were a bigot.
[01:03:46]  He's been called a bigot.
[01:03:47]  Yeah.
[01:03:48]  They got tunnels all throughout Chinatown.
[01:03:50]  It's not just the Jews, bro.
[01:03:51]  Where did Al start his company?
[01:03:54]  Hey, I'm switching sides.
[01:03:56]  I told China.
[01:03:57]  No, they got that motherfucker out of here.
[01:03:59]  Al was probably the one who snitched.
[01:04:01]  No, I think Al's setting up WTF around the world.
[01:04:04]  Oh, a spy.
[01:04:06]  In the Chinese spy.
[01:04:07]  You do have them in California.
[01:04:08]  I do.
[01:04:08]  And you have them in New York.
[01:04:10]  I do.
[01:04:11]  Come on, man.
[01:04:12]  Come on, man.
[01:04:13]  But I'm switching sides.
[01:04:14]  Okay.
[01:04:15]  I'm that gymnast.
[01:04:17]  I'm taking a bag.
[01:04:20]  The skier?
[01:04:20]  Yeah.
[01:04:21]  Oh, the skier?
[01:04:23]  Whatever.
[01:04:23]  I saw Eileen Gu last week.
[01:04:28]  Really?
[01:04:30]  She definitely listened to the pod.
[01:04:32]  Let me tell you that.
[01:04:33]  Yeah.
[01:04:33]  Yo, shout out to you.
[01:04:35]  Get the bag, baby.
[01:04:36]  She definitely listened to the pod.
[01:04:39]  Woo.
[01:04:41]  You felt this.
[01:04:42]  Or she knew that her homegirl was about to get outed as a spy in L.A.
[01:04:46]  Oh, she was paying.
[01:04:46]  As the mayor.
[01:04:48]  So she was worried about the.
[01:04:50]  The wall's closing in a little bit.
[01:04:52]  The Great Wall.
[01:04:53]  The Great Wall's closing in.
[01:04:56]  Son, so what happens to this mayor?
[01:04:57]  She gets killed, right?
[01:04:59]  No, that's, I don't think.
[01:05:00]  Isn't that treason?
[01:05:01]  Yeah, treason.
[01:05:02]  The punishment for treason is death.
[01:05:04]  Yeah.
[01:05:04]  But what do you have to do to be treasonous?
[01:05:07]  You have to be a Chinese spy.
[01:05:08]  Yeah, that's pretty much it.
[01:05:10]  No, that's not treason.
[01:05:12]  If you get caught being a spy in a different country, is that treason?
[01:05:15]  No, if you're an American citizen, which I assume she is because she's mayor of Arcadia, and then she's handing off secrets to the Chinese, you obviously have to kill her in the most Chinese way possible.
[01:05:25]  I think we got to run her over with a tank in the middle of a square.
[01:05:28]  First, bind her feet up, though.
[01:05:29]  Bind her feet up so she can't move.
[01:05:31]  Let me get a peep at him.
[01:05:33]  And then we run her over with a tank in a square.
[01:05:35]  Damn.
[01:05:37]  Guys, this is not like I'm just trying to be a constitutionalist.
[01:05:40]  I'm America first.
[01:05:41]  The felony charges come with a potential sentence of up to 10 years in prison.
[01:05:45]  10 years for being a snitch?
[01:05:47]  Not enough.
[01:05:48]  They live mad long, bro.
[01:05:50]  That's exactly.
[01:05:51]  It's not even a dent.
[01:05:54]  10 years.
[01:05:54]  That's another thing.
[01:05:56]  Your sentence should be dependent on how long you live in America.
[01:06:00]  Proportional taxing.
[01:06:01]  Exactly.
[01:06:02]  So, like, Asians got to spend way longer.
[01:06:05]  Yeah.
[01:06:06]  Black people, not that long.
[01:06:08]  Yeah.
[01:06:09]  Reduce it a little bit.
[01:06:10]  That's progressive policy right there.
[01:06:11]  Yeah.
[01:06:11]  Well, because it's about equity, not equality.
[01:06:14]  Yeah.
[01:06:15]  I like that.
[01:06:15]  You know what I mean?
[01:06:16]  I like that.
[01:06:17]  Mamdani's American.
[01:06:18]  Clock it.
[01:06:20]  Clock it.
[01:06:20]  Stop.
[01:06:21]  It's about equity, not equality.
[01:06:22]  So, if Asians average between 200 and 300 years of life, Then a life sentence to them should be at least like five times the average.
[01:06:30]  Yeah.
[01:06:31]  So this person right here, you're saying you can't just kill someone for treason?
[01:06:34]  I thought that is the punishment.
[01:06:36]  I don't know if that's bad.
[01:06:37]  I think she's going up on treason charges.
[01:06:39]  I don't know if she's a citizen.
[01:06:40]  I can't even find a definitive answer.
[01:06:41]  How the fuck is she mayor if she's not a citizen?
[01:06:44]  Do you have to be a citizen?
[01:06:45]  Yeah, I don't think so.
[01:06:46]  I don't know.
[01:06:46]  What fucking country do we live in?
[01:06:48]  No, you don't even have to be from here to be in public office.
[01:06:50]  Arnold Schwarzenegger.
[01:06:52]  He's a citizen.
[01:06:53]  No, he's not.
[01:06:54]  Arnold Schwarzenegger is not a.
[01:06:59]  Citizen?
[01:07:00]  Of course he's a citizen.
[01:07:01]  He don't sound like one.
[01:07:03]  Well, Al can overdo that.
[01:07:12]  What makes him a citizen, Al?
[01:07:13]  What makes him my mom?
[01:07:15]  Well, yeah, she's a citizen.
[01:07:16]  My mom got accent, yeah, but she got it after the fact.
[01:07:20]  What do you mean?
[01:07:20]  She, my mom got her Scottish accent, no, no, no, citizenship like mad late.
[01:07:26]  She got a citizen, yeah, but so did Arnold.
[01:07:28]  He got a citizenship late.
[01:07:29]  Uh, check the papers, he got it in 1983.
[01:07:33]  Yeah, yeah, 1983.
[01:07:35]  He's a citizen, Al.
[01:07:37]  And look at Eileen Wang or whatever her name is.
[01:07:40]  Why are they all named Eileen, Eileen and Esther?
[01:07:42]  So When Chinese people move here, they take a biblical first name.
[01:07:46]  You go, Peter is a good one.
[01:07:49]  Mark, Lucas, you'll find a lot of like biblical first name and then Chinese as fuck last name.
[01:07:55]  Yeah.
[01:07:55]  Esther, huge.
[01:07:57]  Just so many Chinese people name Esther or Asians name Esther.
[01:07:59]  I think it's a smart move.
[01:08:00]  It's like you're moving to a host country.
[01:08:02]  You want to make sure that your kids are like not teased or whatever for your Chinese name.
[01:08:06]  Yes.
[01:08:06]  I don't think Eileen's a biblical name.
[01:08:08]  Eileen back, so you could suck this dick.
[01:08:17]  This thing is the best, bro.
[01:08:21]  Come on, bro.
[01:08:23]  Yo, Michael, get back in, bud.
[01:08:25]  Michael, get in, bud.
[01:08:27]  Bring your grandma.
[01:08:29]  Bring your grandma while I'm leaning back.
[01:08:31]  Bring your grandma until I do a smash.
[01:08:33]  Let me just do the rest of the story.
[01:08:34]  This is stupid.
[01:08:36]  This is dumb, dude.
[01:08:38]  Yo, the long play on that.
[01:08:43]  Damn.
[01:08:44]  Woo, that was fire.
[01:08:47]  He knew that was for you too, because I ain't gonna know no biblical name.
[01:08:53]  Still got it.
[01:08:55]  Still got it, baby.
[01:08:56]  Still got it.
[01:08:57]  Young Schultze, still got it.
[01:09:00]  Can we do some feelings?
[01:09:01]  No facts?
[01:09:02]  You gotta take a drugstore.
[01:09:05]  So, hold on.
[01:09:05]  So, what's gonna happen to this little Chinese finger trap in Los Angeles?
[01:09:10]  Did she get locked up?
[01:09:11]  Like, we gotta have some sort of punitive measure taking place here.
[01:09:14]  Yeah.
[01:09:16]  She might get 10 years.
[01:09:17]  It's not treason.
[01:09:19]  And that's all I got.
[01:09:21]  Can we revoke the citizenship?
[01:09:24]  I don't know if she's even a citizen, bro.
[01:09:25]  Guys, what the fuck?
[01:09:27]  Do we have a country?
[01:09:28]  Yeah, like.
[01:09:29]  Do we even have a country?
[01:09:31]  You can be an elected official and you're not even a citizen of the United States of America.
[01:09:35]  What the fuck is the point?
[01:09:37]  So is she a citizen?
[01:09:39]  Nothing on this says she's a citizen.
[01:09:41]  Can we look up Arcadia and see what's Asian or Chinese about it that we should have known?
[01:09:45]  Let's find out.
[01:09:47]  Yeah.
[01:09:47]  I don't even know really where Arcadia is.
[01:09:50]  It's like Los Angeles, but it's like outskirts.
[01:09:52]  Oh, really?
[01:09:52]  Yeah.
[01:09:53]  Have you been there?
[01:09:54]  No, I looked at it on a map today.
[01:09:57]  I zoomed out and looked at it.
[01:09:58]  Arcadia, California is a city in Los Angeles County, United States, located 13 miles northeast of downtown Los Angeles in the San Gabriel Valley.
[01:10:10]  At the base of the San Gabriel Mountains, it contains a series of adjacent parks consistent with the Santa Anita Park Racetrack.
[01:10:17]  Let's go through demographics.
[01:10:18]  Yeah.
[01:10:21]  Okay.
[01:10:22]  It looks like 18% white.
[01:10:26]  1.5% black.
[01:10:30]  64% Asian.
[01:10:35]  13% his.
[01:10:37]  No, no, we can't.
[01:10:38]  This is America.
[01:10:39]  You can't just bomb a place in America.
[01:10:41]  Nope, no.
[01:10:44]  Stop, stop, stop.
[01:10:46]  People gotta know who you are.
[01:10:47]  No, you can't attack.
[01:10:48]  People gotta know who you are.
[01:10:49]  You can't do violence.
[01:10:50]  People gotta know.
[01:10:51]  Stop it.
[01:10:51]  They gotta know who you are.
[01:10:53]  It's funny Al's rules about what he wants bleeped.
[01:10:54]  Because his actual rule on that is he doesn't want the violence thing.
[01:10:58]  Yeah, it's violence.
[01:11:00]  But nobody got a bomb, even.
[01:11:03]  Like, nobody listening to this is gonna hear your idea and then execute it.
[01:11:06]  They're like, oh yeah, we should bomb it.
[01:11:08]  And what if they do?
[01:11:09]  Boom.
[01:11:10]  Exactly.
[01:11:11]  Now what happens?
[01:11:11]  Boom.
[01:11:12]  That's exactly what happens.
[01:11:15]  Okay.
[01:11:16]  The top private employers in the city are Atlas Assembly, Fish in a Bucket.
[01:11:37]  That's ramp.
[01:11:39]  Nordstrom, Macy's, and Cheesecake Factory.
[01:11:44]  Also, Din Tai Fung.
[01:11:46]  Din Tai Fung.
[01:11:47]  Son, how the fuck did we elect a Chinese fish head spy as mayor of a city in Los Angeles?
[01:11:56]  How is that even humanly possible?
[01:11:59]  They took over the whole city.
[01:12:01]  Yeah.
[01:12:01]  All sleeper cells.
[01:12:03]  So you think it extends beyond just her?
[01:12:06]  Oh, yeah.
[01:12:07]  So you think there are other people in the administration that are also Chinese spies?
[01:12:10]  Yes.
[01:12:10]  Like, why would it just be her?
[01:12:12]  Yes, exactly.
[01:12:12]  I think we need to do some serious betting.
[01:12:14]  Yes.
[01:12:14]  Why is nobody talking about this?
[01:12:16]  Like, this isn't a big fucking deal.
[01:12:19]  Yeah, it's a little sketchy.
[01:12:20]  Oof.
[01:12:21]  I'm going through some of their last mayors.
[01:12:22]  So, Eileen Wang, Sharon Kwan, Michael Chow, Paul Chang, Sho Tay, Sho Tay again.
[01:12:33]  The baseball player?
[01:12:34]  No.
[01:12:34]  Sho Tay Otani, exactly.
[01:12:37]  And then Roger Chandler.
[01:12:42]  Yo, guys.
[01:12:47]  Funny timing because Trump's in China right now speaking to Xi Jinping.
[01:12:53]  Oh, really?
[01:12:53]  Yeah.
[01:12:54]  You think they waited for this?
[01:12:55]  I think so.
[01:12:56]  Funny timing.
[01:12:57]  Now, did Trump bring it up to them?
[01:12:59]  Now, by waited, who is who waited?
[01:13:02]  Is this, ooh, this is interesting.
[01:13:06]  Is this the Trump administration going, hey, what the fuck is going on over here?
[01:13:11]  We want a bargaining chip to get something out of you.
[01:13:13]  We know that you're trying to like interfere with our democracy.
[01:13:18]  So, give us a little something, we won't make a big stink of this.
[01:13:21]  Or is this democratic opposition trying to sabotage his trip with China?
[01:13:26]  Oh, no, no.
[01:13:27]  I think it's the first because he's going over there a little bit weak because of how shit is going with Iran right now.
[01:13:33]  He kept signaling, like, oh, we're going to have this shit figured out.
[01:13:37]  And now it's not.
[01:13:38]  So now China got a little pressure, like, yo, you fucking up this.
[01:13:41]  You fucking up this.
[01:13:42]  Yeah.
[01:13:43]  Yeah.
[01:13:43]  So now he's going over with that's a little leverage point right there.
[01:13:46]  It's like, oh, world, you got spies over here?
[01:13:48]  Word.
[01:13:48]  Mm hmm.
[01:13:49]  I mean, yo, shout out China, bro.
[01:13:51]  That was impressive.
[01:13:52]  I keep telling you.
[01:13:53]  Tell the game, recognize game a little bit.
[01:13:54]  I keep telling you.
[01:13:55]  It's like, this is how audacious it is.
[01:13:58]  Like, if you were a spy, like, if we sent a spy over somewhere, I don't think you'd make them the mayor of the city.
[01:14:05]  You'd make them, like, the mayor's best friend or something.
[01:14:07]  But it's a tough sell everywhere else.
[01:14:09]  Like, there's no America town in China.
[01:14:12]  Probably not.
[01:14:13]  We need one.
[01:14:15]  Yo, it is crazy that, like, do your civil duty.
[01:14:19]  If there was an American that had moved to another country and became.
[01:14:23]  A politician, 1000% that other country would assume they were a spy for America.
[01:14:30]  Right?
[01:14:30]  Like, there's not even a question because they already assumed that we're influencing their elections even without being over there.
[01:14:35]  So, if we were, they'd be like, 100% they have loyalty to us.
[01:14:38]  But if we question it at all, it's racism.
[01:14:42]  Right?
[01:14:42]  Yeah.
[01:14:42]  There is a good, like, but if another country, if an American moved there and became an elected official, I would think that they would be retarded to not assume that they had loyalty to America and that they were working on our behalf.
[01:14:54]  Yeah.
[01:14:54]  I wouldn't go, oh, that's racism to assume that they're an individual operating under their own auspices.
[01:14:59]  No, I'd be like, yeah, they.
[01:15:00]  Makes sense.
[01:15:01]  If they weren't working for us, I'd be like, the fuck are they over there for?
[01:15:03]  Yeah.
[01:15:04]  Boris Johnson.
[01:15:05]  You mad at this little skia bitch for taking their money?
[01:15:07]  I'm not mad at nobody.
[01:15:10]  I'm just curious.
[01:15:14]  I'm just.
[01:15:15]  What did Tucker say?
[01:15:16]  I was asking questions.
[01:15:18]  Boris Johnson, born in New York City, had U.S. citizenship, and then became Prime Minister of the UK and denounced his citizenship.
[01:15:23]  Got him.
[01:15:25]  Got him.
[01:15:25]  Daniel Naboa.
[01:15:26]  No, but he denounced his citizenship, though.
[01:15:28]  Yeah, but you got to do what you got to do to lead the nation.
[01:15:31]  Oh, okay.
[01:15:32]  Born in Miami, holds Ecuadorian U.S. citizenship, became President of Ecuador in 2023.
[01:15:36]  That I understand.
[01:15:38]  Pope Leo.
[01:15:39]  US born from Chicago became the Pope and now is the president of the Vatican.
[01:15:45]  That's pretty cool.
[01:15:46]  Yeah, but don't you?
[01:15:47]  He's kind of getting sunned, though.
[01:15:49]  Trump is kind of sunning his head.
[01:15:50]  Trump knows the Bible better.

=== Boris Johnson Citizenship (14:27) ===

[01:15:53]  That's what the dude said on whatchamacallit.
[01:15:56]  He's like, yeah, obviously the Pope doesn't know what's in the Bible.
[01:16:00]  Trump knows what's in the Bible.
[01:16:01]  No, he did not say that.
[01:16:02]  He said, like, based off of the rhetoric going on, obviously Trump must know more about Christianity than the Pope.
[01:16:08]  Sarcastically, Or dead fucking serious.
[01:16:11]  He's being serious.
[01:16:12]  Yo, what is going on?
[01:16:13]  Yo, that's a hard job to just cap for that motherfucker.
[01:16:15]  Yeah, I know, right?
[01:16:16]  Yo, just let it go, man.
[01:16:18]  He's fucking up everything.
[01:16:19]  Just call it what it is.
[01:16:20]  Like, you don't have to fucking cap for this dude.
[01:16:22]  Like, I see that guy, Scott Jennings.
[01:16:24]  He's losing hair.
[01:16:25]  Do you know that guy who was on CNN?
[01:16:27]  Is his job to just be like, everything Trump is doing is right?
[01:16:29]  You can tell he is stressed.
[01:16:31]  He's cursing at little teenagers they got out there arguing with him.
[01:16:34]  Every new CNN guy is younger than the last one.
[01:16:36]  Yeah.
[01:16:37]  Right?
[01:16:37]  He's like a 14 year old putting his finger in his face and get your fucking hand out of my face.
[01:16:40]  Like, he's stressed.
[01:16:41]  He's trying because there's no way.
[01:16:43]  Like, how open is straight?
[01:16:46]  Anyway, are you going to go to Arcadia for any shows coming up?
[01:16:48]  I got to perform in Arcadia.
[01:16:50]  Yeah.
[01:16:51]  I'm going there for Chinese New Year.
[01:16:52]  What was that Chinese New Year celebration?
[01:16:54]  Do you think they leaned in or do you think they made it quiet because they're like, yo, we were already running this shit?
[01:17:00]  No, they probably wouldn't.
[01:17:00]  Also, what's in Arcadia that's advantageous to the Chinese government?
[01:17:04]  Is there a research lab there?
[01:17:05]  They say it has one of the best public transit systems in California.
[01:17:09]  All right, we're in.
[01:17:10]  It's known for its light rail and its buses.
[01:17:13]  Fire.
[01:17:18]  They're good at fucking making railroads, man.
[01:17:23]  I would give it up to them in that regard.
[01:17:26]  Historically speaking, they made some good railroads.
[01:17:28]  Some of the best, too.
[01:17:30]  Any rare metals and shit?
[01:17:33]  Any rare metals?
[01:17:33]  Yeah.
[01:17:34]  They got to have some stuff over there.
[01:17:36]  They have a great healthcare system 22 acre Arcadia Hospital.
[01:17:42]  It's the official hospital of the Asian country.
[01:17:44]  All right, stop dick sucking China, man.
[01:17:45]  I know.
[01:17:46]  God damn it.
[01:17:47]  I'm just saying what's going on right now.
[01:17:49]  They're good nurses, too, apparently.
[01:17:51]  No, I checked the hospitals.
[01:17:53]  They probably got all the shit on there.
[01:17:55]  They got some deals going on over there.
[01:17:56]  And they have some famous people that have moved out of there.
[01:17:59]  Like Erica Wu, a table tennis champion.
[01:18:02]  Obviously.
[01:18:03]  That's pretty good.
[01:18:05]  Mark Twan, member of the South Korean boy band, GOT7.
[01:18:10]  Jet Li, international film star, resided in Arcadia with his wife, former Miss China.
[01:18:14]  Yo, he was asking to come on a pod.
[01:18:17]  We got to talk to him about this.
[01:18:19]  Yo.
[01:18:20]  We got to reach out to him and see what's going on.
[01:18:21]  I'm with that.
[01:18:23]  I'll press him.
[01:18:24]  How would you press the guy who's like a martial artist?
[01:18:27]  I'm going to throw miles in front of me.
[01:18:28]  That's all shit.
[01:18:30]  Okay, can we do more feelings or facts?
[01:18:32]  Yes.
[01:18:32]  Okay, haunted virus.
[01:18:34]  Fake.
[01:18:35]  Alex?
[01:18:36]  Real.
[01:18:38]  Fucking idiot.
[01:18:40]  I don't think it's real.
[01:18:41]  People died already.
[01:18:42]  No, they didn't.
[01:18:42]  Yes, they did.
[01:18:43]  Three people died.
[01:18:44]  They're on a boat.
[01:18:45]  Let me tell you something.
[01:18:45]  Three people died.
[01:18:46]  Let me tell you something.
[01:18:47]  Nobody's getting off that boat.
[01:18:49]  150 people got off the boat already.
[01:18:51]  This is why we got pandemics.
[01:18:53]  This is why we got pandemics.
[01:18:55]  Guys, if there's a deadly virus on the boat, they stay on the boat.
[01:18:58]  It's not like they can't eat on the boat.
[01:19:00]  It's not like they can't live.
[01:19:01]  Quarantine until everybody dies, and then we don't have a pandemic.
[01:19:05]  This is the headline from CNN.
[01:19:07]  All passengers evacuated from cruise ship hit by Alta.
[01:19:10]  Why would you evacuate the people with the virus?
[01:19:13]  China got to be looking at this like these motherfuckers are about to do it again.
[01:19:16]  These dumb motherfuckers are about to do it again.
[01:19:19]  And you know where that's at?
[01:19:21]  Spain.
[01:19:22]  You know where I just came from?
[01:19:24]  Oh, come on, Al.
[01:19:25]  Yeah, patient number one, baby.
[01:19:27]  Come on, Al.
[01:19:28]  Patient zero, whatever.
[01:19:29]  Patient number one.
[01:19:32]  You're not either.
[01:19:33]  You're not either.
[01:19:34]  Nah, I'm not either.
[01:19:36]  I'm going to die.
[01:19:36]  I'm already dying.
[01:19:37]  They are patient number one.
[01:19:38]  Yeah, but if I brought it here.
[01:19:40]  You just a side bitch.
[01:19:42]  You didn't even get the first herpes.
[01:19:44]  You got some other bitches' herpes.
[01:19:49]  No, you got to keep them on the boat in perpetuity.
[01:19:52]  And if they make it, they make it.
[01:19:53]  And God bless them.
[01:19:54]  If they don't, it'd be like that.
[01:19:56]  Just leave them on the boat?
[01:19:57]  Also, it's the Canary Islands owned by Spain.
[01:20:01]  It's Africa.
[01:20:02]  Shut up, bro.
[01:20:03]  No, no, I think he's making a good point, which is like, would they unload them to Europe?
[01:20:09]  No.
[01:20:10]  But will they unload them to Africa?
[01:20:12]  Yeah.
[01:20:13]  Yeah, but Canary Islands is where all the Spanish people go to fucking, that's their Miami.
[01:20:18]  But they gotta stop it.
[01:20:19]  They gotta stop it.
[01:20:20]  They gotta stop it.
[01:20:20]  You're not allowed to go.
[01:20:21]  I'm being dead serious, guys.
[01:20:22]  Like, why are we being so loosey goosey with this?
[01:20:24]  If it's a deadly virus, you keep them on the boat.
[01:20:28]  We see what happens.
[01:20:29]  It's not like we shouldn't give them food.
[01:20:31]  Give them food, give them doctors, whatever.
[01:20:34]  But you just also don't dock it.
[01:20:36]  If we're doing this hypothetical, don't put it at a dock.
[01:20:39]  Oh, yeah.
[01:20:39]  Give it out.
[01:20:39]  You out there.
[01:20:40]  Buy a stuff.
[01:20:40]  Give it out and then bring the food out.
[01:20:42]  And back.
[01:20:42]  Like, yeah, yeah.
[01:20:43]  The way the Dutch guy got it is hilarious.
[01:20:45]  I told you how he got it.
[01:20:48]  Fucking a rat.
[01:20:49]  He was a rat fucker.
[01:20:50]  You'll listen.
[01:20:51]  Apparently, he went to a trash dump on his vacation.
[01:20:54]  And then?
[01:20:55]  And they fucked it.
[01:20:56]  But he went to the trash dump first.
[01:20:58]  Okay.
[01:20:58]  That was like a part of his sightseeing.
[01:21:00]  Why?
[01:21:01]  That part is not explained.
[01:21:02]  From what I understand, it is a landfill and it says the world's most southern landfill because it's at the bottom of the continent.
[01:21:10]  And he checked it out because it was in Argentina.
[01:21:12]  It's in Shwaii.
[01:21:13]  Yeah, yeah.
[01:21:14]  And he was like, on my vacation, my wife, we're going to go look at garbage.
[01:21:16]  I blame y'all.
[01:21:17]  Y'all, white people, always just got to look at shit.
[01:21:20]  That part is kind of like, y'all be doing this shit.
[01:21:22]  Like, come on, bro.
[01:21:23]  That is on us.
[01:21:24]  You're right.
[01:21:25]  I don't even know what to say.
[01:21:26]  I'm embarrassed.
[01:21:26]  Yeah.
[01:21:27]  Because I want to know what the trash dump looks like.
[01:21:29]  Like a little party is like, yo, I'm curious.
[01:21:32]  I wish I wasn't.
[01:21:33]  Because it's so far south.
[01:21:34]  I'm curious.
[01:21:34]  Because you're like, there's no way they have trash this far south.
[01:21:37]  I also need to see what like an Argentinian trash dump looks like.
[01:21:40]  Yeah, what does it mean?
[01:21:40]  Y'all got a problem.
[01:21:41]  Yeah.
[01:21:41]  Y'all got a problem.
[01:21:42]  It's just got like Nazi memorabilia in it.
[01:21:44]  No, no, the trash dump has a bunch of birds that come and pick up.
[01:21:47]  Food off of it.
[01:21:48]  It's a birding site.
[01:21:50]  Oh, God, with the white people and the birds, man.
[01:21:53]  Fucking weird.
[01:21:54]  Look how cool this is.
[01:21:56]  Whoa.
[01:21:57]  That's fire.
[01:21:58]  Isn't that sick?
[01:21:59]  Do you want to see?
[01:22:00]  No.
[01:22:01]  You don't even want to.
[01:22:01]  You're not even curious a little bit.
[01:22:02]  No, not at all.
[01:22:04]  Guys, not at all.
[01:22:06]  We need to do better.
[01:22:07]  We need to do better.
[01:22:08]  But you just leave him on the boat.
[01:22:09]  All right, what else we got?
[01:22:10]  Feelings, no facts.
[01:22:11]  Okay.
[01:22:12]  UFO file has been dropped by Trump officially.
[01:22:15]  Desperation.
[01:22:16]  Yeah, that's desperation, man.
[01:22:17]  That's how you know he's fucking up.
[01:22:20]  I don't know.
[01:22:22]  I mean, yeah, people have not been super stoked about this file release.
[01:22:25]  Because it's nothing.
[01:22:26]  It's just like black and white target practice.
[01:22:28]  You could create it with AI.
[01:22:30]  Like, nah.
[01:22:31]  This is the Epstein binders.
[01:22:34]  Yeah.
[01:22:35]  Yeah.
[01:22:35]  Whole lot of nothing.
[01:22:36]  Yeah.
[01:22:37]  Whole lot of nothing.
[01:22:37]  Whole lot of nothing.
[01:22:38]  Though I would like to talk to a UFO guy because I want to understand why they are so convinced it's real.
[01:22:44]  Like, I spoke to that Bob Lazar dude, and like, he convinced me that what he believed, he convinced me.
[01:22:52]  That he wasn't lying.
[01:22:54]  Now, that doesn't mean that it is true what he was working on was UFO technology, but like, I don't believe that he was a liar that was just trying to like grift and make money.
[01:23:04]  Yeah.
[01:23:05]  If anything, I believe that he didn't really want to share it because he had received so much backlash throughout his entire life.
[01:23:11]  Yeah.
[01:23:12]  I didn't like Trump's tweet, it's a little.
[01:23:14]  That's how I knew it was bullshit.
[01:23:16]  What?
[01:23:17]  It's because Trump goes, As from my promise to you, the Department of War has released the first tranche of UFO UAP files to the public for view.
[01:23:24]  People can decide for themselves what the hell is going on.
[01:23:27]  Have fun and enjoy.
[01:23:29]  That's when I was like, All right.
[01:23:31]  The second you're signing off, I was like, Have fun.
[01:23:33]  I'm like, All right.
[01:23:34]  You know, ain't nothing in there, bro.
[01:23:35]  Release the second truncheon of Epstein files with all your homies.
[01:23:39]  Release that.
[01:23:40]  Release the unredacted Epstein files.
[01:23:43]  That's what we want to see.
[01:23:44]  We don't want to see UFOs.
[01:23:46]  But what about this?
[01:23:47]  You're not convinced when you look at this?
[01:23:49]  What is that, dude?
[01:23:50]  It's a plane, bro.
[01:23:51]  All right.
[01:23:52]  What about this one?
[01:23:54]  Oh, that's a little weird.
[01:23:56]  It's limp.
[01:23:56]  All right.
[01:23:57]  Well, what about this one?
[01:23:58]  This one's even crazier.
[01:23:59]  Look at this.
[01:24:00]  There's AI.
[01:24:01]  Oh, aliens.
[01:24:04]  Anyway, go on.
[01:24:07]  All right.
[01:24:08]  They found allegedly a suicide note from Epstein.
[01:24:12]  You got to read this suicide note.
[01:24:14]  Read the suicide note and tell me.
[01:24:15]  Let me pull it up.
[01:24:15]  Let me pull it up.
[01:24:16]  You read the suicide note and tell me that Trump didn't write it himself.
[01:24:22]  I defy you to read the suicide note and tell me that this isn't exactly Trump's way of speaking.
[01:24:31]  So it says this They investigated me for a month, found nothing.
[01:24:37]  So 15 year old charges resulted.
[01:24:41]  It's a treat to be able to choose when you say goodbye.
[01:24:44]  What you want me to do, bust out crying?
[01:24:46]  No fun, underlined, not worth it.
[01:24:51]  This is what.
[01:24:52]  But I heard there were other emails where he said similar.
[01:24:55]  Yeah, but you don't think that they went through the emails and were like, hey, grab a few things he says regularly and then we'll write some bullshit ass note that justifies that he killed himself.
[01:25:04]  This administration, they do stupid shit.
[01:25:07]  They don't like that.
[01:25:08]  That sounds like that.
[01:25:09]  That's stupid.
[01:25:10]  No, but that sounds like the logical thing.
[01:25:11]  He wrote it in his own voice.
[01:25:14]  Read it.
[01:25:15]  I mean, I'm so like, we don't have to do Trump accents anymore, but like, read it in his voice.
[01:25:21]  Do you have the actual writing?
[01:25:23]  Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[01:25:23]  This is the actual note.
[01:25:24]  No one can read that chicken scratch.
[01:25:27]  Let me see if I can find the actual words that he says.
[01:25:29]  It's all broken up in this article.
[01:25:31]  I know.
[01:25:32]  They don't understand how to do media.
[01:25:35]  So I got it right here.
[01:25:38]  Oh, God.
[01:25:39]  I can't believe I'm going to do a fucking Trump accent.
[01:25:42]  I'm not going to do a Trump accent, but I'll do the tonation of it.
[01:25:45]  They investigated me for months, found nothing.
[01:25:48]  It is a treat to be able to choose one's time to say goodbye.
[01:25:52]  What you want me to do?
[01:25:53]  Bust out crying?
[01:25:54]  No fun, not worth it.
[01:25:57]  Kill himself.
[01:25:58]  Thank you for attention to this matter.
[01:25:59]  Thank you for attention.
[01:26:01]  It's just that's a Trump tweet right there.
[01:26:03]  So they just find some stuff in the emails, like make it look like it.
[01:26:06]  Now people have pointed this where they're like, this is an actual Epstein letter that he wrote to someone.
[01:26:11]  And they're like, look at all the T's, look at how he writes.
[01:26:13]  Yeah, but you could use AI to recreate all this shit.
[01:26:15]  But then they look at his writing here and they're like, This doesn't look like his writing at all.
[01:26:19]  Yeah, because it's not.
[01:26:20]  It's Kash Patel and his fucking eye trying to stay on the line.
[01:26:25]  Guys, this is such fucking.
[01:26:27]  I can't believe we're even.
[01:26:28]  I understand why we're entertaining this, but like, I can't believe anybody believes that.
[01:26:32]  Yeah, no.
[01:26:32]  Like, what the whole thing is, not the whole thing, but a big part of what this is hinging on is that he actually killed himself.
[01:26:40]  Right?
[01:26:40]  Like, they're going, nothing.
[01:26:41]  There's no foul play here, even though there's tons of foul play.
[01:26:44]  But look, there's proof right here.
[01:26:45]  He has this thing where he says goodbye.
[01:26:47]  And it helps the powers that be to be like, yeah, he's gone.
[01:26:49]  He killed himself.
[01:26:50]  You know, there's proof that he did.
[01:26:51]  They're saying get over it.
[01:26:53]  We're not getting over it, bro.
[01:26:54]  Someone got to get arrested.
[01:26:55]  I will say, I do think it's possible that Epstein wrote it.
[01:26:58]  It just doesn't read to me like a suicide note.
[01:27:01]  Like, he doesn't say goodbye to anyone.
[01:27:03]  He doesn't say, like, to my friends, to my family.
[01:27:05]  I love, like, nothing like that.
[01:27:07]  He's just like, jail sucks.
[01:27:08]  There was another note purportedly attributed to Epstein that was also found that basically is just like him recounting his time in prison.
[01:27:14]  He's like, was in a shower, locked for an hour, bugs crawling across my hands, no fun, not worth it.
[01:27:20]  It is a, it's, I mean, it's not funny, but it is that so far, the only person that's been arrested.
[01:27:31]  In the entire Epstein case in the United States of America, is a woman.
[01:27:37]  Like, it's kind of, it's so absurd that it's funny.
[01:27:42]  Like, it's horrible.
[01:27:44]  Like, let me just point out that this is absolutely horrible, but there's a pedophile ring that they're obviously like keeping under wraps.
[01:27:50]  The most powerful men in this country are abusing children in a systematic manner, and you know who's going to pay for it?
[01:27:56]  The one woman involved is the only one locked up.
[01:27:59]  It's insane, right?
[01:28:01]  It is.
[01:28:02]  It's like, I'm shocked at all the feminist blogs on talking about this nonstop.
[01:28:07]  Like, it's a tough film to do.
[01:28:08]  Yeah, I know.
[01:28:09]  It's like, because you also got to be like, no, don't say free it, but like, how is this the only person arrested?
[01:28:15]  The girl?
[01:28:16]  Yeah.
[01:28:18]  Yeah.
[01:28:18]  I mean, in fairness, Epstein did get arrested.
[01:28:21]  Yeah.
[01:28:22]  But then he broke out.
[01:28:23]  Yeah.
[01:28:24]  But then he went on the run.
[01:28:25]  Technically, the only person, because was Gillane convicted?
[01:28:30]  Yeah.
[01:28:30]  Yeah.
[01:28:30]  So, the only person convicted in the entire operation.
[01:28:34]  Yes.
[01:28:34]  Abroad.
[01:28:35]  And here is a woman.
[01:28:39]  Like, how is that an insane stat?
[01:28:42]  Yeah.
[01:28:42]  As someone who does not like to enable people who talk about how sexist the world is, we've reached a rock and a hard place or something like that.
[01:28:52]  Like, this seems blatantly sexist.
[01:28:55]  Yeah.
[01:28:56]  Yeah.
[01:28:57]  It's not one person convicted besides the woman involved.
[01:29:04]  Is this what happens when you have a girl, man?
[01:29:06]  Yeah, it sauses you up, bro.
[01:29:08]  It does, but that is crazy.
[01:29:11]  No, it is nuts.
[01:29:12]  It's not, she should be convicted, yeah, absolutely.
[01:29:14]  But there must have been somebody else we could convict, too.
[01:29:17]  Yeah, all the other dudes are also better at offering themselves, you know what I mean.
[01:29:20]  Jonathan Brunel offs himself.
[01:29:22]  Oh, that's true.
[01:29:24]  What, yeah, women aren't as good as that suicide, that suicide, yeah.
[01:29:28]  That is a good point.
[01:29:29]  It's because they can't make up their minds.
[01:29:31]  It's like, what am I gonna eat?
[01:29:33]  Which one is it?
[01:29:34]  I don't know what to eat.
[01:29:34]  They've been ruminating back and forth.
[01:29:36]  Do I want to live?
[01:29:37]  Do I want to die?
[01:29:37]  Do I want to hang?
[01:29:38]  Do I want to shoot myself?
[01:29:39]  Do I want to, you know, it's like.
[01:29:41]  They can't make up their fucking mind.
[01:29:42]  So you end up in jail, locked up.
[01:29:45]  You're just locked up, walking around the yard.
[01:29:47]  Yeah.
[01:29:48]  Apparently, she's having a great time, according to people on the inside.
[01:29:50]  What are they saying?
[01:29:51]  They're saying that she's like in a very nice prison.
[01:29:53]  People are taking care of her.
[01:29:55]  She gets to play with puppies.
[01:29:56]  Yeah.
[01:29:57]  She's doing like therapy with dogs, trying to reintegrate back into society.
[01:30:02]  So she's learned her life.
[01:30:05]  She's locked inside of the dog.
[01:30:14]  So, yeah, justice won't be served.
[01:30:17]  That shit is crazy.
[01:30:19]  Yeah, they really gonna get away with this.

=== Hamza Fight Vibes (09:38) ===

[01:30:21]  They really gonna get away with this.
[01:30:24]  They need to lock up Malfa, too.
[01:30:26]  That's another one.
[01:30:26]  Yeah, I did that so poorly.
[01:30:31]  I did that so poorly.
[01:30:33]  It was so bad.
[01:30:34]  I almost bit him in the mouth.
[01:30:36]  Oh, that would have been so bad.
[01:30:37]  I was trying to tie it together and then got me on.
[01:30:41]  I leaned okay.
[01:30:42]  More feelings, no facts.
[01:30:43]  Yes, Strickland beats uh, Hamza.
[01:30:45]  What a fight.
[01:30:46]  Crazy.
[01:30:46]  Also, the fight before that, Joshua Van versus the mayor of Arcadia, was unbelievable, dude.
[01:30:53]  The fight, those two fights were fantastic.
[01:30:56]  And uh, the but the Joshua van, I think his name is Taro or something.
[01:31:01]  Tyro was unbelievable.
[01:31:04]  I didn't see him, but then Strickland beating Hamsat Ted Zoro Tyro, Tyro, yeah, was incredible.
[01:31:13]  Like, there was a lot of talking, like real talking leading up to this one, right?
[01:31:16]  And then they were like really cordial with one another afterwards.
[01:31:19]  Like, put the belt around them.
[01:31:22]  Uh, Strickland goes and apologizes, yeah, you know, like uh.
[01:31:27]  Strickland's a fascinating character.
[01:31:30]  Like, I mean, this fight was just growing.
[01:31:34]  Wow, Strickland put on some size.
[01:31:36]  So, Strickland's big, dude.
[01:31:38]  But, like, he looks even bigger.
[01:31:39]  And Hamza couldn't, I mean, Hamza kept him down, I think it was the first round.
[01:31:44]  But he couldn't really do any damage or anything.
[01:31:47]  And then Strickland in the second round blocks a takedown.
[01:31:50]  And then Hamza gives up what's called pulls guard.
[01:31:54]  So, he essentially goes on his back, like almost walks him.
[01:31:57]  I don't know if I've ever seen Hamza do that.
[01:31:59]  In MMA, like not a single fight where he just rolls on his back.
[01:32:04]  And in that moment, you're going, What the fuck is happening over here?
[01:32:09]  Does he lack confidence?
[01:32:10]  Is he tired?
[01:32:11]  Like, what's going on?
[01:32:12]  Then Hamza kind of comes back in the fourth.
[01:32:14]  So it was up to the fifth round.
[01:32:15]  Like, it was an awesome fight.
[01:32:18]  These guys are warriors.
[01:32:19]  And yeah, but Hamza wasn't trying to take him down the whole fight.
[01:32:23]  I think Strickland created a scenario where Hamza realized, I'm going to gas myself out trying to take you down, and I'm not going to be effective.
[01:32:30]  After I take you down.
[01:32:32]  So, Strickland does this fucking amazing thing where he makes you, when he's at his best, he makes you fight his fight.
[01:32:40]  He blocks leg kicks really well.
[01:32:42]  And eventually you stop throwing the kicks because you're like, it hurts when we're going shin on shin.
[01:32:46]  And his competitive advantage is when you guys are standing up and you are punching each other.
[01:32:52]  And he found a way where he's like, I don't need to take this to the ground.
[01:32:57]  What I need you to do is think you can't be effective on the ground.
[01:33:01]  I don't need to exchange kicks with you.
[01:33:03]  What I need you to do is not want to kick me anymore.
[01:33:06]  So he punishes you for doing the things you're good at and then forces you to fight him the way that he's good.
[01:33:12]  Oh, okay.
[01:33:14]  And then he has just this amazing piston jab.
[01:33:18]  And it was just awesome.
[01:33:19]  The fight was fucking awesome.
[01:33:21]  Is it good for the weight class to see Strickland?
[01:33:26]  I think it's always good to have an American fighter be a belt holder.
[01:33:32]  Especially like a wild boy.
[01:33:34]  I know people will hate certain things that he said, et cetera.
[01:33:37]  Like, I mean, bro, his nose is completely busted up, like broken and just fucking massive and swollen.
[01:33:43]  And he looks at himself and he sees himself in like a reflection of something.
[01:33:46]  He was like, oh my God, I look like I work for APAC.
[01:33:49]  So, like, there's going to be things that he says that wrap people up.
[01:33:54]  But you have to understand, like, this is fight sports where these guys go out there and they try to kill each other.
[01:34:00]  You know what I mean?
[01:34:01]  Like, they say insane shit to people.
[01:34:03]  Like, this is.
[01:34:04]  You want to talk about like the roast being insane stuff?
[01:34:07]  These guys are saying insane stuff before they go out there and potentially lose their life or take someone's life.
[01:34:13]  And that's not hyperbole.
[01:34:15]  That happens sometimes in this sport.
[01:34:18]  So I'm not saying that like everything they say is okay, but it is a very, when you're fighting somebody for your life, you will speak very differently about them and to them than you will outside of that.
[01:34:31]  And it's going to elicit all these emotions.
[01:34:33]  It's going to seem like I'm justifying the things he said, whatever.
[01:34:35]  I don't care what you want to say.
[01:34:37]  What I'm saying is, Until you're in that scenario, you don't know how you would really act.
[01:34:43]  And the reality is, when these fights do get hyped up in that way, there's more interest and these guys make more money.
[01:34:49]  Now, you could start to be critical of that and be like, well, is it worth making the money?
[01:34:53]  It's like, all right, well, you're not putting your life on the line every time you go on the fucking ring.
[01:34:56]  And the market decides we are more invested when the guys fucking hate each other.
[01:35:01]  Yeah.
[01:35:02]  When the guys are super pleasant and like, let's shake hands and let's hug and kiss before a fight, we don't care as much.
[01:35:06]  Yeah.
[01:35:07]  That's honestly the only thing I heard about this was the shit.
[01:35:10]  The buildup.
[01:35:10]  Yeah.
[01:35:11]  And the buildup was crazy.
[01:35:13]  People have criticized like the grapplers and they're like, oh, these grapplers, like they make the fights boring.
[01:35:18]  Yeah.
[01:35:19]  It is.
[01:35:19]  It is for a casual fan.
[01:35:21]  It is boring.
[01:35:23]  It is.
[01:35:23]  It's like, I understand if you're a grappler and you've dedicated your life to that, that's super interesting to you because it's incredibly technical and like, Each tiny move is setting up another move, and that's great.
[01:35:32]  And the point is to win.
[01:35:33]  The point is to win, and they win.
[01:35:34]  But what the casual fan likes is carnage and fisticuffs and kicks.
[01:35:40]  They really kind of want a kickboxing match that can also go to the ground.
[01:35:45]  That's kind of what the casual fan really appreciates.
[01:35:48]  So, like, having someone who's going to go out there and swing is what they want.
[01:35:52]  And the people that have done that at the highest level are the people that probably have made the most money.
[01:35:58]  Like, you know, Connor just knocking people out is really fun to watch.
[01:36:00]  The heavyweights just going and bang and knocking people out, fun to watch.
[01:36:03]  The guys kind of wrestling or the guys, you know, grappling, they're just not going to be as big stars.
[01:36:09]  Yeah.
[01:36:10]  That bare knuckle fighting shit that you was watching when they're biting people's doves off.
[01:36:14]  Like, can that ever be sanctioned?
[01:36:18]  Well, I think they do it bare knuckles.
[01:36:20]  So the BKFC is the bare knuckle league?
[01:36:22]  Yeah, but with the biting, like all this shit.
[01:36:25]  So everything goes.
[01:36:26]  I don't think so.
[01:36:26]  Why is there just.
[01:36:27]  We can't do that.
[01:36:27]  It should just be one fight league where anything goes.
[01:36:30]  I mean, they have these like.
[01:36:31]  You're describing Rome right now.
[01:36:34]  No, it's not even Rome.
[01:36:34]  There is one.
[01:36:36]  There are these underground fights.
[01:36:37]  Fuck, I'm forgetting the name.
[01:36:38]  You guys have probably seen it where, like, the guys they fight in, like, a parking lot or, like, an alley or something like that.
[01:36:43]  And these guys that organize it, all the organizers wear masks and they have their, like, I think they might even have their, like, voices fucked up or whatever.
[01:36:51]  And they're like, it's like an illegal fight ring and they just pay guys who are willing to do it.
[01:36:56]  You can gouge eyes.
[01:36:57]  Like, you literally see guys pushing each other's eyeballs into their heads.
[01:37:02]  Damn.
[01:37:03]  And you see it.
[01:37:04]  I don't know how it's available on YouTube, but I watch it on fucking social media.
[01:37:07]  Get the fuck out of here.
[01:37:10]  That's wild.
[01:37:11]  So that does exist, and that's the most gnarly version of it.
[01:37:13]  Maybe I'm getting too soft.
[01:37:16]  That sounds horrible.
[01:37:18]  It's hard to watch, but I watch.
[01:37:20]  Fuck that.
[01:37:20]  Just follow it with some Coco Melly.
[01:37:22]  Yeah.
[01:37:23]  Wash it down.
[01:37:24]  Yeah.
[01:37:24]  Yeah.
[01:37:26]  Well, any closing thoughts?
[01:37:28]  Anything you want to say about Coco Melon or the roast or the Knicks or Hantavirus?
[01:37:33]  Just good vibes for the Knicks, guys.
[01:37:38]  Just good vibes.
[01:37:39]  Good vibes.
[01:37:39]  Good vibes.
[01:37:40]  All we want is good vibes for the Knicks.
[01:37:42]  Okay?
[01:37:43]  Congratulations to Sean on that amazing victory.
[01:37:49]  Hantavirus.
[01:37:51]  You got to keep them on the ship, man.
[01:37:54]  I really, really, really feel strongly about that.
[01:37:58]  I do.
[01:37:58]  And film it.
[01:38:00]  Turn to a reality show.
[01:38:01]  Honestly.
[01:38:01]  Streaming on Bravo.
[01:38:02]  Right?
[01:38:04]  I'd watch that.
[01:38:04]  Right?
[01:38:05]  Yeah.
[01:38:06]  We should do a traitor's with just Chinese people.
[01:38:13]  Pick out which mayor, which mayor, or which Olympic skier, whatever.
[01:38:18]  Like, you got to pick out which ones are actually loyal to the United States of America and which ones are working for China.
[01:38:24]  I like this idea.
[01:38:24]  Yeah, that's good.
[01:38:26]  This is a that's honestly pretty good.
[01:38:28]  And they're all in a boat.
[01:38:29]  Let's not get too crazy.
[01:38:30]  One person has a haunted virus.
[01:38:34]  You're adding a lot of elements to this, right?
[01:38:36]  It's layered, super layered.
[01:38:37]  It is layered.
[01:38:38]  Yeah, it is layered.
[01:38:40]  And then UFO files.
[01:38:41]  Hopefully, we get the you know, proof that there's aliens.
[01:38:44]  Yeah.
[01:38:46]  And then the roast.
[01:38:47]  I hope we do more.
[01:38:48]  Yeah, the roasts are fantastic.
[01:38:50]  Congratulations, everybody who crushed on the roast.
[01:38:52]  You gave me unbelievable FOMO and keep killing it.
[01:38:57]  Yeah, I think we just need more roast.
[01:38:58]  I also like the idea of like every other year, because they didn't do one last year.
[01:39:04]  You know what I mean?
[01:39:05]  Like spacing them out is kind of nice too, because it feels like an event.
[01:39:09]  If it's too regular, I feel like you kind of get used to it.
[01:39:12]  Also, like roast jokes kind of start to sound similar, you know?
[01:39:17]  So just like spacing out a little bit so we forget, we miss it, and then fucking bang.
[01:39:21]  And now you got two years to get, you know, Tiger to do it or somebody else to do it.
[01:39:27]  I like that.
[01:39:28]  I like that.
[01:39:28]  Like the Olympics is great.
[01:39:30]  It's every four years.
[01:39:31]  The World Cup is great.
[01:39:31]  It's every four years.
[01:39:33]  You could even go every four years.
[01:39:36]  Yo, an inter country roast.
[01:39:39]  You get one comment from every country.
[01:39:40]  We don't give a fuck about the mouth.
[01:39:41]  Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[01:39:44]  Come on.
[01:39:44]  I don't want to.
[01:39:45]  What if we got Eileen?
[01:39:48]  Why would you even try that?
[01:39:50]  Eileen Wang.
[01:39:51]  Eileen Wang.
[01:39:52]  The joke we did already.
[01:39:53]  He's so mad.
[01:39:54]  He got caught.
[01:39:55]  That's just so dumb.
[01:39:56]  It's not fair.
[01:39:56]  Yo, we love you.
[01:39:57]  We appreciate you.
[01:39:58]  We see you on Patreon.
[01:39:59]  Peace.