Flagrant - Andrew Schulz & Akaash Singh - Ari Shaffir’s Craziest Travel Stories: Exorcisms, Prostitutes, and Magic Mushrooms | #697
Aired: 2026-03-25
Duration: 03:03:26


=== Eight Months Away Tour (12:23) ===

[00:00:00]  What's up everybody and welcome to Flagrance and today we are joined by our dear friend Ari Shafir.
[00:00:08]  He is back.
[00:00:10]  Oh, thanks everybody.
[00:00:11]  Ari's back.
[00:00:13]  We got dressed up for you.
[00:00:14]  You got dressed up for us.
[00:00:16]  You're going for eight months.
[00:00:17]  For people who don't know, you do this very cool thing where you tour stand-up for a while.
[00:00:23]  That is cool.
[00:00:24]  That is cool.
[00:00:26]  You should try it.
[00:00:28]  You should try it.
[00:00:28]  My manager would like that.
[00:00:30]  So would my age.
[00:00:32]  These basketball teams are like, we have off nights.
[00:00:36]  But yeah, you go for like a year or two.
[00:00:38]  They put us something out and then you don't just go away.
[00:00:41]  You like go away away.
[00:00:42]  I go away.
[00:00:43]  No phone.
[00:00:44]  Yeah, no phone.
[00:00:45]  Or I got a new number so I can like deal with stuff while I'm gone.
[00:00:48]  Do you not do like the, what is it called?
[00:00:50]  Lock myself out of email.
[00:00:52]  No, no, no.
[00:00:53]  There's like a, it's called a stupid phone or something.
[00:00:57]  Dumb phone or whatever.
[00:00:58]  Yeah.
[00:00:58]  Where you can just text and no, but I mean, I gave up on my numbers.
[00:01:02]  I didn't like take any of my numbers.
[00:01:03]  So nobody could message you.
[00:01:04]  Nobody could message me.
[00:01:05]  Okay.
[00:01:06]  And you go away for eight months?
[00:01:07]  Yeah.
[00:01:07]  I didn't want any of the.
[00:01:09]  People are like, well, I want to be able to text you.
[00:01:10]  I'm like, for what?
[00:01:12]  What are you going to tell me?
[00:01:14]  How DEI hires are ruining America?
[00:01:18]  You'll cover everything so I'm back.
[00:01:21]  I don't need to know any of this.
[00:01:23]  We did a filing on so many sites.
[00:01:24]  I know.
[00:01:24]  You saw 2023 right now.
[00:01:26]  Jesus.
[00:01:27]  Okay.
[00:01:28]  Okay.
[00:01:28]  Hold on.
[00:01:30]  I've been off the news before I left.
[00:01:33]  But for real, since July, I don't know anything.
[00:01:37]  Anything.
[00:01:38]  Legitimately nothing.
[00:01:39]  You're in the right place.
[00:01:40]  So anything you tell me now.
[00:01:42]  Hold on.
[00:01:42]  How do we do this the best?
[00:01:43]  Yeah.
[00:01:44]  Put a couple lies in here.
[00:01:46]  So I don't know what's real, what's not.
[00:01:49]  Okay.
[00:01:50]  Okay.
[00:01:51]  But yeah.
[00:01:51]  I'm also not interested in hearing all the shit.
[00:01:55]  You are probably right to not be interested because nothing really changes.
[00:01:59]  Yeah.
[00:01:59]  I mean, everything changes and the world's falling apart, but like to you, is it?
[00:02:03]  Everyone's still alive.
[00:02:06]  Yeah.
[00:02:06]  I don't.
[00:02:07]  So we were just angry for eight cycles for nothing.
[00:02:09]  Cycles of like, we're supposed to care about this for a week or two.
[00:02:12]  Yeah.
[00:02:13]  I don't think anything didn't get covered.
[00:02:14]  Yeah.
[00:02:15]  Taken care of while I was gone.
[00:02:17]  My interest in it isn't going to affect it.
[00:02:19]  Yeah.
[00:02:20]  It's almost like we could all turn our phones off for eight months.
[00:02:22]  It's almost like that.
[00:02:24]  It's almost like you're like, hey, I can sit this one out.
[00:02:27]  It's almost like the Hasidic Jews had it right all along.
[00:02:29]  You know?
[00:02:30]  Whoa, is that throw your phone?
[00:02:34]  You have a way of looking painfully Jewish when you come back.
[00:02:41]  I want to ask for a loan right now.
[00:02:44]  Do not.
[00:02:48]  Okay, okay.
[00:02:49]  I got to put these away.
[00:02:50]  Take us to this like euphoric.
[00:02:52]  Like the first week, what is it like?
[00:02:54]  Do you reach for the phone at all?
[00:02:55]  Like, give us the first week away.
[00:02:57]  So, okay.
[00:02:58]  Yeah, great.
[00:02:59]  First week is a dopamine drop.
[00:03:01]  So you're sad.
[00:03:02]  Yeah.
[00:03:03]  It's like whatever you get on that that keeps you like temporarily entertained and then like long-term depression.
[00:03:10]  Yeah.
[00:03:11]  You're not getting it.
[00:03:12]  Yeah.
[00:03:12]  So you're like, I have withdrawal symptoms.
[00:03:14]  And what is how do the withdrawal manifest?
[00:03:17]  It's like giving up cigarettes or giving up any drugs.
[00:03:19]  Really?
[00:03:20]  It's like my emotions aren't right.
[00:03:21]  Yeah.
[00:03:23]  Imagine taking a shit and not having to see a scroll through like I would rather my phone than toilet paper.
[00:03:29]  You got to read the back and toilet paper.
[00:03:32]  I don't take a shit.
[00:03:33]  Yeah.
[00:03:34]  Yeah, exactly.
[00:03:35]  So wait, so what do you do?
[00:03:36]  You got to read the back of a fucking raid can.
[00:03:42]  I mean, it's all bad shit.
[00:03:44]  Okay.
[00:03:45]  All right.
[00:03:45]  So where does the boredom, where does the most of the boredom hit you?
[00:03:49]  Like when you're in a new city, it's fun.
[00:03:50]  You're seeing streets you've never seen.
[00:03:52]  You're interacting with people.
[00:03:53]  I've met too many people at hostels that are like, I fucked up and I spent all night scrolling Facebook or something.
[00:03:59]  Facebook, that means they're foreign, but like, but like, uh, and then like, oh, I couldn't go out with everybody the next day because I was tired.
[00:04:06]  And you're like, you fucked up.
[00:04:07]  You're in some crazy cool place.
[00:04:08]  And you just got connected at home.
[00:04:10]  Yeah, you're right.
[00:04:11]  So the addiction.
[00:04:12]  And they know, they're like, yeah, I messed up.
[00:04:14]  Yeah, but they're addicted.
[00:04:15]  But give me the first experience of the video.
[00:04:17]  Okay, so first, first I'm like, I got to do something.
[00:04:19]  I was at a beach, which was really helpful.
[00:04:21]  Where?
[00:04:22]  Mexico.
[00:04:22]  Okay.
[00:04:23]  Some tiny kind of beach in shoulder season.
[00:04:26]  And it was just like, I decided.
[00:04:28]  My friend Rolf Potts, the writer, he goes, get to a beach right away.
[00:04:31]  So you lose track of time.
[00:04:33]  And I decided I'm going to stay there till I don't feel connected.
[00:04:36]  Because I've got six months.
[00:04:38]  It's not a two-week vacation that I got to like get going.
[00:04:41]  I'm like, I'm going to stay.
[00:04:42]  So there were like four days, not nearly enough, six days, and about after about eight or nine days, I was like, I think I'm good.
[00:04:49]  I was checking Yankee scores for like the first four or five days.
[00:04:52]  Laptop?
[00:04:53]  No, I had a phone, but it just changed my number and I got a new phone.
[00:04:56]  So I didn't take any contacts on it.
[00:04:58]  No social media, but you still have none.
[00:05:00]  Yeah.
[00:05:01]  And then I realized like, this is even ESPN.com is connecting me to.
[00:05:06]  So I was like, you know what?
[00:05:07]  I'm going to log back in.
[00:05:08]  I check the date when it's about a week off from the playoffs.
[00:05:11]  I'll see if they're in it.
[00:05:12]  Yeah.
[00:05:13]  They were.
[00:05:14]  I stayed with them until they got eliminated.
[00:05:16]  And then I went right back off.
[00:05:17]  Wow.
[00:05:18]  Whoa.
[00:05:21]  Yeah.
[00:05:22]  But then I filled in.
[00:05:24]  Oaxaca.
[00:05:25]  I found a fucking local baseball team that was headed into playoff season.
[00:05:27]  Okay.
[00:05:28]  So you find another team.
[00:05:30]  Shout out Guerrero's.
[00:05:31]  Number one team in Mexico League Baseball.
[00:05:34]  Got it.
[00:05:35]  MBL.
[00:05:36]  So you just replace it.
[00:05:37]  We still need distraction.
[00:05:38]  There's no world where we're just going to like stare off into the distance and feel happy.
[00:05:41]  We just can replace it with like a more satisfying fun new things.
[00:05:45]  Do you think of better ideas in the silence?
[00:05:47]  Bro.
[00:05:49]  Yes.
[00:05:49]  I really want you to say no.
[00:05:53]  I'm thinking about jerking off all day.
[00:05:55]  I start jerking off.
[00:05:56]  Silently double-pandemic.
[00:05:58]  And I was like, I never would have come up with this idea of turn emails.
[00:06:02]  The Indian burn.
[00:06:02]  The Indian burn's a classic.
[00:06:04]  Because it's like all day.
[00:06:05]  I'm like on my bike.
[00:06:06]  I'm listening to music.
[00:06:07]  I go home.
[00:06:08]  I put on a podcast.
[00:06:09]  I've got a YouTube video.
[00:06:10]  I'm going to sleep.
[00:06:10]  But it's just like not eating.
[00:06:12]  It's not clutter.
[00:06:12]  And then I am in the shower and I'm like, I always think of good ideas in the shower.
[00:06:16]  Bro, this is going to sound legitimately gay.
[00:06:18]  And I hope if Shane Gillis, if you're watching, turn this off because I know you'll make fun of me.
[00:06:21]  Yeah.
[00:06:23]  My mind exploded after about two weeks with just thoughts.
[00:06:27]  I was like, what?
[00:06:29]  Just like firing on all cylinders.
[00:06:31]  Like what?
[00:06:31]  Just new thoughts, creative ideas.
[00:06:34]  The show that I just put out, I figured out a way to like to start it and frame it all.
[00:06:40]  I was like, oh, I know how to frame it as a book with chapters.
[00:06:45]  I just didn't have time to think.
[00:06:48]  That's what I did last.
[00:06:49]  I was at Camp with Jew when I was in Southeast Asia.
[00:06:52]  I was like, oh, I want to do it about the how, and I'm not rushed in.
[00:06:54]  Yeah.
[00:06:55]  Let me, well, how would I cover it?
[00:06:57]  How would I do it all?
[00:06:58]  Yeah.
[00:06:59]  Yeah.
[00:07:00]  You just like think clearly.
[00:07:02]  There's no emails to get back to that.
[00:07:03]  That sounds awesome.
[00:07:04]  I wish I could.
[00:07:05]  I wish I could do this shit.
[00:07:06]  You can.
[00:07:06]  Are you with a group of people?
[00:07:08]  You're alone.
[00:07:08]  Yeah, you meet people.
[00:07:09]  Yeah.
[00:07:09]  Meet people at hostels.
[00:07:11]  Oh, you're like at hostels.
[00:07:13]  Oh, wow.
[00:07:14]  It's the most social way to do it.
[00:07:15]  That's also the best way to do it.
[00:07:16]  I've seen people that go on like trips and they'll go to like Peru in the state of resort with a bunch of French people.
[00:07:21]  Yeah.
[00:07:21]  And it's like, yeah, you're staying in America in Peru.
[00:07:25]  Yeah, I mean, there's meeting locals and then there's meeting other travelers, which is mostly what I did.
[00:07:30]  Yeah.
[00:07:30]  This was easier than Southeast Asia because at least it's one language.
[00:07:35]  You're fluent in Spanish.
[00:07:36]  I can speak.
[00:07:36]  Yeah.
[00:07:37]  You start to excel and really actually talk to people.
[00:07:39]  Yeah, it's great.
[00:07:40]  And find out like, oh, my theories about you are wrong.
[00:07:42]  I met a lot of people.
[00:07:43]  I met some guy in like Peru.
[00:07:44]  I love how you said theories instead of stereotypes.
[00:07:47]  Unless you're theory.
[00:07:49]  I was like, you mean Glenn Star?
[00:07:52]  I am a Chinese tourist.
[00:07:54]  Trouble with my theory.
[00:07:58]  I have this theory that you're going to steal.
[00:08:02]  My theory is you can't spell theory.
[00:08:06]  Yeah, like you meet villagers, like, how many kids?
[00:08:08]  Like, one, like, one kid?
[00:08:09]  And they're like, they're expensive.
[00:08:11]  I'm like, I wouldn't.
[00:08:14]  Yeah.
[00:08:15]  Oh, okay.
[00:08:16]  You just like humanize people that you're like.
[00:08:18]  Because they don't have Mexicans to look after them.
[00:08:22]  Right.
[00:08:23]  They're going to do it themselves.
[00:08:25]  They're paying full freight, right?
[00:08:28]  Yeah.
[00:08:29]  And then, like, nothing is political to them.
[00:08:31]  They're like, it rained early this year.
[00:08:32]  I don't know.
[00:08:32]  Like, climate change?
[00:08:33]  I'm like, they're like, yeah, what is that?
[00:08:35]  Change?
[00:08:36]  Combio to climate?
[00:08:37]  Yeah, maybe.
[00:08:38]  Yeah, you guys combioed a little bit.
[00:08:40]  Is that a right-wing or left-wing dude?
[00:08:42]  Like, it's a farmer's almond activity.
[00:08:45]  I don't know what this is related to.
[00:08:46]  Okay, brain is exploding.
[00:08:48]  You're actually thinking.
[00:08:49]  It is funny because I always complain to the guys here after having two kids, I have no time to think.
[00:08:53]  Yeah.
[00:08:53]  And I really just have no time to scroll forever.
[00:08:56]  Like, I don't know if I had that much time where I just sat around fucking pondering.
[00:09:00]  Put it away.
[00:09:01]  Yeah, I got it.
[00:09:01]  It's so hard to put away.
[00:09:02]  Why?
[00:09:03]  You did it for eight months.
[00:09:04]  Why is it hard?
[00:09:05]  Well, I had to exit.
[00:09:07]  I can't do it here.
[00:09:09]  Even if you lock yourself.
[00:09:10]  I would argue what you did is it's more difficult to put.
[00:09:15]  When I'm on vacation, there's nothing stopping me from scrolling.
[00:09:20]  I only podcast to not scroll.
[00:09:23]  Yeah.
[00:09:23]  It's not bad.
[00:09:24]  Put away your phone.
[00:09:26]  Three days a week.
[00:09:26]  So I can have a fucking break.
[00:09:28]  Yeah.
[00:09:29]  And sometimes he forgets and still Tim Robinson's sketch.
[00:09:34]  If I lose an argument, I'll go my phone in the middle of it.
[00:09:40]  Yeah, I mean, yeah, it's like one big step and then you're free.
[00:09:44]  The Schwitz, same thing.
[00:09:45]  You go to the Schwitz, like you're out of it.
[00:09:46]  You see people innocently.
[00:09:47]  You can explain to them what the Schwitz is.
[00:09:49]  Yeah.
[00:09:50]  Can you explain to the goys what the Schwitz is?
[00:09:52]  It's like a sauna.
[00:09:53]  You got a theory.
[00:09:54]  I wouldn't know what that was.
[00:09:55]  It's the Jews and gays know it.
[00:09:58]  And Russians.
[00:09:59]  It's like the sauna and the sauna cold punch that kind of thing.
[00:10:02]  Schwitz means like a bathhouse.
[00:10:04]  Yeah, a bathhouse.
[00:10:04]  Okay, okay.
[00:10:05]  By the way, New York is one of the few places where a bathhouse does not mean gay hookup site.
[00:10:10]  Is that right?
[00:10:10]  Yeah, you go around.
[00:10:11]  Oh, I found a bathhouse in Portland.
[00:10:12]  And it's like, ah, no way.
[00:10:15]  Went to a bathhouse in Barcelona.
[00:10:17]  That was a mistake.
[00:10:18]  Really?
[00:10:19]  Naked dude there.
[00:10:20]  Well, no, that doesn't mean they're gay.
[00:10:21]  No, no, no, but there was like stuff going on.
[00:10:24]  I just assumes men nation's gay.
[00:10:26]  These fucking locker rooms are gay.
[00:10:28]  Nah, but they was hooking up in the locker rooms.
[00:10:30]  She all got sweat to the gay.
[00:10:34]  Nothing stops.
[00:10:34]  Nothing stops.
[00:10:35]  It's amazing.
[00:10:36]  That's what happens when we don't have women.
[00:10:38]  No, it's not.
[00:10:38]  It's just women stop us.
[00:10:40]  So when it's just another guy, where's the brake pad?
[00:10:44]  I can't touch you.
[00:10:45]  Sure.
[00:10:45]  Why not?
[00:10:46]  I'm not scrolling.
[00:10:48]  That's scrolling.
[00:10:49]  Yeah.
[00:10:50]  Carnival in Brazil where there's like gay sections and then like some guy will step like they'll be talking and some guy will walk by and they're just like touch their pecs like this and then go then back to their boss.
[00:11:03]  Like imagine you're doing that to a chick and he's like, it's like a dog.
[00:11:06]  You just like pet it a little bit and move on.
[00:11:08]  I'm allowed.
[00:11:09]  I saw you talking about that.
[00:11:11]  Brazil is the gayest place you've ever been.
[00:11:13]  Dog guy.
[00:11:13]  How?
[00:11:14]  It's so it's gay friendly.
[00:11:16]  They're everywhere.
[00:11:16]  Really?
[00:11:17]  I mean, I've been to San Francisco, nothing.
[00:11:20]  No offense, San Francisco.
[00:11:22]  It's all of Brazil.
[00:11:23]  Really?
[00:11:24]  Yeah.
[00:11:24]  And they don't care there.
[00:11:25]  They're all fattest women.
[00:11:27]  Yeah.
[00:11:28]  Well, that's why they're so hot because they're trying to get it.
[00:11:29]  They got to work harder.
[00:11:32]  Pressure makes diamonds.
[00:11:33]  Yeah.
[00:11:34]  Oh, the butts are shaped different there.
[00:11:35]  Yeah.
[00:11:36]  The bathing suits are made different because our bathing suits wouldn't fit them.
[00:11:38]  And what about the women's butts?
[00:11:41]  Son of a bitch.
[00:11:42]  Do you like someone in the podcast?
[00:11:44]  I've seen you all the time.
[00:11:45]  Cut this off.
[00:11:46]  Disrespectful.
[00:11:47]  Don't get a really disrespectful.
[00:11:49]  All right, cut back in.
[00:11:50]  Eight months away.
[00:11:52]  Deal with this shit.
[00:11:56]  All right.
[00:11:57]  So you take on, you buy, you bought them.
[00:11:59]  I just went into new experiences.
[00:12:01]  Yeah, the Guerreros.
[00:12:02]  I'm like, sick.
[00:12:02]  They're my team now.
[00:12:03]  Follow them all the way through Guatemala.
[00:12:05]  You could go like pirate this game in a bar.
[00:12:08]  We can play anything on YouTube.
[00:12:09]  Nobody cares about us.
[00:12:11]  Why'd you pick them?
[00:12:12]  You just saw the game.
[00:12:13]  There's a team in Mexican Baseball League, and there was a team in Oaxaca.
[00:12:18]  And I was like, ah, the season just ended.
[00:12:19]  Like playoffs.
[00:12:20]  Shit, they're the third seed.
[00:12:22]  I'm following them.
[00:12:23]  Go to a game.

=== Bathing Suit Disputes (16:01) ===

[00:12:24]  It's so much fun.
[00:12:24]  I was like, I didn't eat that day because I was like, I'm going to get a hot dog.
[00:12:27]  I didn't eat late.
[00:12:28]  I'm going to get a hot dog at a game.
[00:12:29]  No.
[00:12:30]  Full burrito plates.
[00:12:32]  12-year-old girls selling beer.
[00:12:34]  Legit 12-year-olds.
[00:12:35]  Like, what do you want?
[00:12:36]  Like, what are you selling?
[00:12:38]  I'm like, no way.
[00:12:40]  Yes.
[00:12:40]  Get me a fucking michelada.
[00:12:42]  Oh, how good is that?
[00:12:43]  Oh, yeah.
[00:12:44]  So, what is our baseline?
[00:12:45]  What do we need?
[00:12:46]  We need sport.
[00:12:47]  Yeah, sports.
[00:12:47]  Or something to follow.
[00:12:48]  Yeah.
[00:12:49]  Book.
[00:12:49]  Did you get into any reading?
[00:12:51]  I'm trying to think, what is my life without scrolling?
[00:12:54]  What is my life without the phone?
[00:12:55]  But I brought a book of short stories with me, like best short stories of the year that come out every year.
[00:13:00]  And I read like four of them.
[00:13:02]  I carried this book around with me for eight months.
[00:13:05]  And I read four of them.
[00:13:07]  Yeah.
[00:13:07]  No, I was journaling sometimes.
[00:13:09]  Okay.
[00:13:09]  But that's just so I can remember shit later.
[00:13:11]  Yeah.
[00:13:13]  Drugs.
[00:13:14]  Yeah.
[00:13:15]  Women.
[00:13:16]  Yeah.
[00:13:17]  Yeah.
[00:13:17]  Fucked a little bit.
[00:13:18]  But also like, yeah, drugs is great.
[00:13:21]  Finding weed is like an adventure.
[00:13:23]  Gotcha.
[00:13:24]  Every time, because I don't go over borders with it.
[00:13:26]  Smart.
[00:13:26]  So, yeah.
[00:13:27]  So whatever I have, I'm like, dump, start over, dump, start over.
[00:13:30]  Yeah.
[00:13:30]  It's always an adventure to find weed.
[00:13:32]  Why is it an adventure to find weed where they make it?
[00:13:35]  You got to find.
[00:13:37]  I said it was easier.
[00:13:38]  Beaches are easier.
[00:13:39]  They just come by.
[00:13:40]  Like, who wants joints?
[00:13:41]  And then other countries are like, you got to find a guy making his own jewelry in like a town square.
[00:13:45]  And then you're like, dude.
[00:13:46]  Got a little something.
[00:13:47]  Yeah.
[00:13:48]  And if they're like, no, I don't sell, but they're going to be like, I know the wait here.
[00:13:52]  So yeah, that's fun.
[00:13:54]  Coke, mushrooms.
[00:13:55]  Yeah.
[00:13:55]  If you meet in Australia and you're doing Coke.
[00:13:57]  Why do they love it?
[00:13:58]  They were trying to solve it.
[00:13:59]  Why do they love it?
[00:14:00]  Australians love it.
[00:14:01]  They get the curse for Coke in the world.
[00:14:03]  It's all cut up and shitty and expensive.
[00:14:05]  So then when they go anywhere else, they're like, I've never experienced Coke like that.
[00:14:10]  But they also love it there.
[00:14:11]  They love it there.
[00:14:12]  And it's so bad.
[00:14:13]  Yeah.
[00:14:13]  Yeah.
[00:14:14]  And why is it?
[00:14:15]  You think you could get good Coke to Australia.
[00:14:18]  It's not this.
[00:14:19]  I think they have to put up the selection where they're like, I need to forget.
[00:14:24]  But it's all coastline.
[00:14:25]  You don't think you can sneak some Coke into Australia?
[00:14:28]  Who's swimming there?
[00:14:29]  It's hard.
[00:14:31]  Yeah.
[00:14:32]  Get a little boat.
[00:14:33]  And they also have the strictest border control.
[00:14:35]  Yeah.
[00:14:35]  You remember going through Australian security?
[00:14:38]  What was?
[00:14:38]  Oh, yeah, because they got to deal with the Asians.
[00:14:40]  Yeah.
[00:14:41]  No, it is the people pointed this out to me.
[00:14:43]  We were looking at the immigration form, and it was like, have you been near cattle?
[00:14:46]  And I was like, okay, we've seen that.
[00:14:47]  And it was like, you touch fireworks.
[00:14:48]  We're like, all right, you know, whatever.
[00:14:50]  It was like, do you have an insect in your bag?
[00:14:53]  Are you traveling?
[00:14:54]  Like a good luck insect?
[00:14:55]  Are you traveling transporting like a raw turkey in a box overhead?
[00:14:59]  No, livestock.
[00:15:01]  They would ask you, are you bringing any livestock?
[00:15:03]  Asians are wanting to go.
[00:15:04]  It says specifically insects.
[00:15:05]  It's a wire, but they don't trust it.
[00:15:07]  They don't trust it.
[00:15:07]  They're like, we're not going to be able to get a chicken in Australia.
[00:15:10]  They'll just take the chicken with them.
[00:15:12]  For real.
[00:15:13]  There's a whole show about this.
[00:15:15]  There's like a customs show.
[00:15:16]  Yeah.
[00:15:16]  It's literally like Border Patrol.
[00:15:18]  But in Australia.
[00:15:20]  And the whole thing is predicated on Asians bringing wild shit to Australia.
[00:15:25]  They should ask on that forum, like, will you take a picture with an iPad in front of people?
[00:15:31]  Have you done that in the last 30 days?
[00:15:33]  Lots of sunset to take a picture with a laptop.
[00:15:37]  You cannot come in here.
[00:15:40]  What was your least favorite place?
[00:15:41]  Worst tourists in the world.
[00:15:42]  Mainlanders.
[00:15:43]  What?
[00:15:44]  What's your least favorite place you go to on this trip?
[00:15:47]  I mean, they were all so fun.
[00:15:49]  Nicaragua was tough.
[00:15:50]  Wait, why?
[00:15:51]  They didn't let me in.
[00:15:52]  What do you mean?
[00:15:53]  They said no.
[00:15:54]  I took a two and a half hour boat from El Salvador, land.
[00:15:59]  Then they're like, let's check.
[00:16:00]  They check for drones.
[00:16:01]  Drones are illegal.
[00:16:03]  Press is illegal.
[00:16:04]  Okay.
[00:16:04]  I'm not press, but I guess not enough to them.
[00:16:08]  So they saw the podcast.
[00:16:09]  Did they do like a they start calling Managua?
[00:16:12]  This guy's on the phone, grilling me.
[00:16:14]  I mean, so everyone else, like one at a time, stamp goes to him.
[00:16:18]  Ari Shafier.
[00:16:19]  I'm playing with the street dog.
[00:16:20]  Oh, you've got a travel show, dude.
[00:16:22]  That's probably what it is.
[00:16:23]  Yeah.
[00:16:23]  But it wasn't, it was two and a half hours of interrogation.
[00:16:27]  It was come in.
[00:16:28]  I'm like, come in.
[00:16:29]  I don't remember anyone else going in.
[00:16:32]  And then they go, close the door behind you.
[00:16:34]  I'm like, bro, what?
[00:16:36]  You couldn't sneak into Nicaragua.
[00:16:41]  How are they getting in here?
[00:16:43]  What sales do they have that I don't have?
[00:16:47]  It's a wonderful thing.
[00:16:48]  You're American prisoners getting sent to America.
[00:16:53]  You willingly wanted to go there.
[00:16:55]  It seems suspicious.
[00:16:57]  What are you going to do here?
[00:16:58]  They go, you have a lot of Instagram followers, huh?
[00:17:00]  And I was like, Schultz does not agree.
[00:17:05]  He says, I don't have anything.
[00:17:06]  He says, I'm not committing hard.
[00:17:08]  That's a growing fan base.
[00:17:11]  I'm like, thank you.
[00:17:12]  My friends actually mock at me.
[00:17:14]  Yeah, and I go, oh, and then they ask me what I do, how many people I play for, how much do I sell tickets for?
[00:17:21]  And then call us from Nonagra, call us from Nonagra every 20 minutes.
[00:17:23]  And the guy's cool.
[00:17:24]  He's talking to me.
[00:17:25]  And then hold on, phone's ringing.
[00:17:27]  What are you planning on doing here?
[00:17:29]  I don't know, go to cigar places, which ones?
[00:17:31]  Okay, cool.
[00:17:32]  Then talking again.
[00:17:33]  Wow.
[00:17:34]  They were really friendly.
[00:17:35]  They brought me a cigar.
[00:17:36]  And then they just said no.
[00:17:38]  The guy said, I'm really sorry, man.
[00:17:39]  He got the phone call.
[00:17:40]  His voice went down.
[00:17:41]  He goes, you got to go back.
[00:17:43]  Go back to El Salvador.
[00:17:46]  So you just turn around and they put you on a bus.
[00:17:48]  They put me on a boat back to the border town in El Salvador.
[00:17:53]  Whoa.
[00:17:53]  I land and they're like, what?
[00:17:55]  What are you doing here?
[00:17:56]  We just sent you off seven hours ago.
[00:17:58]  And I'm like, yeah, I don't know.
[00:17:59]  He says, now is El Salvador a little worried?
[00:18:02]  They're like, why'd they say no to you?
[00:18:03]  No, it happens all the time.
[00:18:05]  Actually, he said he couldn't talk to me because I was like, this has happened all the time.
[00:18:08]  He goes, he's getting shady.
[00:18:10]  The captain.
[00:18:12]  And he goes, and then finally he was like, oh, I'll talk to him.
[00:18:15]  I'm like, what was going on?
[00:18:16]  He goes, that was the on the boat back with you was the Nicaraguan like Border Force chief.
[00:18:22]  So I couldn't like speak freely in front of him.
[00:18:24]  Oh shit.
[00:18:24]  Whoa.
[00:18:25]  But he goes, this happens like once every week or two.
[00:18:27]  Did they warn you about it before?
[00:18:29]  Like, hey, just so you know, they've been turning people away.
[00:18:31]  No, but I did just warn somebody who's getting married in Nicaragua.
[00:18:34]  I was like, wipe everyone's LinkedIn with any journalism shit.
[00:18:37]  Unlike all of that, they will Google you.
[00:18:39]  You don't want the in-laws going, in which case.
[00:18:41]  Fantastic places.
[00:18:43]  You're going to try to just slip them something?
[00:18:45]  I didn't think of it.
[00:18:46]  But man, drives aren't fun.
[00:18:48]  And it works almost.
[00:18:50]  But does it work at the fucking border?
[00:18:52]  It's tough.
[00:18:53]  Totalitarian regime.
[00:18:54]  At a minimum, they're going to go, I can't.
[00:18:56]  Yeah.
[00:18:56]  They're not going to be there.
[00:18:57]  You just like drop it.
[00:18:58]  Yeah.
[00:18:58]  Like, you're going to be like, oh, whoops.
[00:19:00]  And then, you know.
[00:19:00]  Here's a nickel, change your life.
[00:19:06]  Yeah.
[00:19:07]  Yeah.
[00:19:07]  I wasn't thinking clearly.
[00:19:08]  Absolutely.
[00:19:09]  I should have done that.
[00:19:10]  I got some stuff.
[00:19:12]  All right, guys.
[00:19:12]  Here's all our dates in 30 seconds.
[00:19:14]  First of all, Nashville, thank you guys so much for so that weekend.
[00:19:17]  Love seeing you guys.
[00:19:18]  Great to be back out on stage again.
[00:19:21]  This weekend, we got Rhode Island, okay, Saturday at the Providence Performing Arts Center.
[00:19:27]  Then May 8th, Los Angeles, Jelly Rolls Show, part of the Netflix is a joke festival.
[00:19:32]  And then August 8th, Halifax, Nova Scotia.
[00:19:35]  Tickets available at theandreschells.com.
[00:19:39]  Oh, it's me.
[00:19:40]  Nice.
[00:19:40]  Guys, I'm going to be doing my monthly show at Mary Lou on March 31st.
[00:19:45]  And then I'm doing a show at Sesh Comedy on April 3rd.
[00:19:47]  It's like a headlining show.
[00:19:48]  We got a magician coming through, a bunch of other comedians.
[00:19:50]  That's kind of a fun vibe.
[00:19:51]  And then mic drop in Plano, Texas, Chandler, Arizona, Pasadena, San Diego, all happen at the end of the year.
[00:19:57]  And Detroit, too.
[00:19:58]  See you there.
[00:19:59]  How clean is El Salvador?
[00:20:02]  El Salvador is one of the most interesting places I went to.
[00:20:05]  Yeah, that's what I want to.
[00:20:06]  What is the feeling there?
[00:20:07]  Because they clean the whole thing up.
[00:20:09]  This is the perception.
[00:20:10]  So when you go to these places, you are at a crossroads of I know things about the world that was given to me.
[00:20:18]  And then here's my actual now.
[00:20:20]  Opinion on it.
[00:20:21]  You're like, oh.
[00:20:22]  I talked to Rogan and he's like, I remember once we were on, and Norman mentioned, I took the subway over there.
[00:20:26]  Joe's like, took the subway?
[00:20:29]  And Mark's like, yeah.
[00:20:30]  He goes, and Joe's like, why?
[00:20:32]  He goes, it's faster.
[00:20:34]  Because in Joe's world, everyone's getting pushed every time you take the subway.
[00:20:37]  Right.
[00:20:38]  Right.
[00:20:39]  And you're like, if you actually came here, that's just not the reality.
[00:20:45]  It's bums pushing bums.
[00:20:48]  Which would be, I want a good TV show.
[00:20:50]  Yeah, bums pushing bums on subway tracks.
[00:20:52]  Bum fights.
[00:20:53]  You don't remember that?
[00:20:54]  Oh, no.
[00:20:54]  It's classic.
[00:20:56]  Classic.
[00:20:56]  That's a squid games when subway's coming.
[00:20:59]  You go in.
[00:21:01]  Yeah, so it's that.
[00:21:02]  So El Salvador, whatever media told me like, this guy's a totalitarian.
[00:21:06]  He used to be the highest murder rate in South America or the Americas in general.
[00:21:10]  And now he cleaned it up and it's the safest country.
[00:21:12]  Things are done.
[00:21:13]  Done.
[00:21:14]  Yeah.
[00:21:14]  So he didn't even go, I'm giving you a week to clean up.
[00:21:17]  He goes, I'm coming for you now.
[00:21:18]  Now.
[00:21:19]  Arrested or killed.
[00:21:20]  Every one of them.
[00:21:21]  And I had this thing in my head that I kind of, they were like, if you have tattoos, they'll take away your civil rights and maybe put you in jail for tattoos.
[00:21:28]  And you get there, like, no.
[00:21:29]  It's specific tattoos.
[00:21:31]  Yeah.
[00:21:31]  It is, here's a loved one I've raped.
[00:21:35]  Yes.
[00:21:36]  Street cred for raping a sister or something like that.
[00:21:40]  Here's the badge number of a cop I killed.
[00:21:42]  Oh.
[00:21:43]  Those are the tattoos.
[00:21:44]  And so they might go, let me see your arm.
[00:21:45]  Let me see your tattoos.
[00:21:46]  And then they go, they go, that's fine, go.
[00:21:48]  It's not, they're not just arresting random people.
[00:21:50]  And the people there seem to be supportive?
[00:21:52]  Beyond.
[00:21:53]  They had no country.
[00:21:54]  Wow.
[00:21:55]  I took a tour in Santa Marta and it was this guy.
[00:21:58]  He was cool.
[00:22:00]  He goes, he was like, okay, I'll show you the church, whatever.
[00:22:03]  And he goes, hey, if you guys want now, it's up to you.
[00:22:05]  I can show you the sites.
[00:22:07]  Or you can ask me real questions.
[00:22:08]  And we go to a coffee shop.
[00:22:09]  No one's listening.
[00:22:10]  I love all your questions.
[00:22:11]  Yes.
[00:22:12]  Yes.
[00:22:12]  Okay.
[00:22:13]  So what happened?
[00:22:13]  So my first question was like, hey, how come from the Guatemala to here border, so indigenous, all the, and then as soon as you get over the border, it's not even none.
[00:22:21]  He goes, oh, look it up.
[00:22:23]  In like the 40s or 70s, there was a bounty on their heads and they murdered all of them.
[00:22:27]  In El Salvador, they murdered all the indigenous population.
[00:22:30]  Whoa.
[00:22:31]  Yeah.
[00:22:31]  So the rest went into hiding and now there just is no.
[00:22:33]  The 70s is wild.
[00:22:34]  Yeah, it was late.
[00:22:35]  Like the 1970s?
[00:22:37]  Yeah, 1970s or 40s.
[00:22:38]  I don't remember, but it was pretty recent.
[00:22:40]  And so it's like, good answer.
[00:22:43]  But then he's like, whoa, he thought it was something else.
[00:22:46]  True stuns.
[00:22:48]  I don't think he meant solutions.
[00:22:50]  That was the good answer to the question.
[00:22:52]  So this guy had left.
[00:22:55]  This guy had left.
[00:22:57]  Shout out Jorge Jorge walking tourist.
[00:22:59]  But he goes, look around.
[00:23:00]  He left and came back.
[00:23:01]  He goes, every one of my friends when I left at 12 is dead or in prison.
[00:23:05]  I don't have any left that are not dead or in prison.
[00:23:08]  He goes, look around.
[00:23:09]  There is not a single man between 20 and 40 here.
[00:23:12]  Whoa.
[00:23:13]  They lost their country to gangs.
[00:23:15]  It wasn't like crime is tough.
[00:23:17]  It's on another level that we don't really understand.
[00:23:19]  So it needed an extreme response, or at least that's how they would justify it.
[00:23:24]  Yes.
[00:23:25]  Did you ask?
[00:23:25]  So everyone I met, like, this guy's a hero.
[00:23:28]  Of course, of course.
[00:23:29]  He's our guy.
[00:23:29]  He's the best.
[00:23:30]  I was there for their July 4th.
[00:23:32]  Oh, wow.
[00:23:32]  And they're like, we couldn't do this.
[00:23:33]  It's people taking their young daughters.
[00:23:35]  Like, I couldn't have done this three years ago, four years ago.
[00:23:37]  I'm showing her the Capitol for the first time.
[00:23:40]  And then they were like, where are you from?
[00:23:41]  Like, New York.
[00:23:41]  Like, is that America?
[00:23:43]  And I'm like, yeah.
[00:23:43]  They're like, what's it like there?
[00:23:46]  They were so into everywhere else, like gringos go home.
[00:23:48]  There, they're like, tell people it's safe.
[00:23:50]  Come.
[00:23:51]  Wow.
[00:23:52]  They were so open and fresh and new.
[00:23:55]  It was just really interesting.
[00:23:56]  Did he say anything critical?
[00:23:58]  Did you ask?
[00:23:59]  Yeah, so some people go, he extended his term limits.
[00:24:03]  Yeah.
[00:24:04]  But this guy also arrested a bunch of senators and congressmen one day.
[00:24:09]  He went in and said, open your books.
[00:24:10]  I'm going to balance your budgets, whatever.
[00:24:11]  And he goes, now I'm going to look deeper.
[00:24:13]  If you've taken a bribe from a gang, you're going to jail today.
[00:24:16]  Yeah.
[00:24:16]  And wheeled them all out.
[00:24:18]  Wow.
[00:24:18]  Like that jacket.
[00:24:20]  Fire.
[00:24:20]  Yes.
[00:24:21]  Fire.
[00:24:23]  It's the most virtual.
[00:24:24]  The concern is always like what happens when people stay in power.
[00:24:28]  So that's it.
[00:24:28]  So, like, what if he doesn't give power?
[00:24:30]  Like, it's better than it was.
[00:24:31]  Oh, without it.
[00:24:32]  If he becomes a king, it's better than it was.
[00:24:34]  You don't have to kill this fire.
[00:24:36]  But like Saddam did the purge also.
[00:24:40]  Everybody does the purge.
[00:24:41]  Yeah.
[00:24:41]  And eventually you get high off your own supply and absolute power corrupts.
[00:24:45]  Absolutely.
[00:24:45]  That is the concern.
[00:24:46]  But I'm just curious.
[00:24:47]  He doesn't take a paycheck.
[00:24:49]  Doesn't get paid for being president.
[00:24:51]  Yeah, I don't like that.
[00:24:52]  Well, I don't like that.
[00:24:53]  What is it?
[00:24:54]  He has like a Patreon?
[00:24:54]  He's like, we lost our country.
[00:24:57]  What's his thing?
[00:24:58]  How does he make money?
[00:25:00]  Yeah.
[00:25:00]  He makes handy craps on Etsy.
[00:25:04]  He's trying to bring back Indigenous rights.
[00:25:06]  Yeah, it's kind of crazy, but everyone there loves it.
[00:25:08]  The people who left and came back, they're the ones going, I'm not sure.
[00:25:11]  Yeah, tell me what they say.
[00:25:12]  Give me the pushback because they go, what if he never gives up power?
[00:25:16]  Because they weren't there.
[00:25:17]  I'm going to tell you a story and you can cut this out if you want.
[00:25:20]  This is what the captain told me.
[00:25:21]  Okay.
[00:25:22]  In this port town, he goes, they got so high on power.
[00:25:26]  You should consider cutting this out.
[00:25:28]  But they got so high on power, they got into witchcraft.
[00:25:32]  They thought they were unstoppable.
[00:25:34]  And they got to a point where they were finding pregnant women, cutting their fetuses out, and playing soccer with it.
[00:25:40]  Who is they?
[00:25:41]  The cartels?
[00:25:42]  The gangs.
[00:25:42]  The gangs.
[00:25:43]  Holy moly.
[00:25:44]  So you can't have a society like this.
[00:25:48]  So they like this guy, Bukele, is he's a god.
[00:25:53]  They love it.
[00:25:54]  It's, it is, they, it's just a thing.
[00:26:00]  It wasn't about the abortion.
[00:26:01]  No, they love it.
[00:26:02]  It was about the love of soccer.
[00:26:03]  Soccer.
[00:26:04]  Like, think about how much you gotta love soccer.
[00:26:07]  And it does kind of look like a bad.
[00:26:10]  Think about it.
[00:26:11]  The first thing they do after the witchcraft is, you're trying to play some sides.
[00:26:16]  Like, they could have just done the cauldron and do whatever.
[00:26:19]  I don't even think they want to do witchcraft, bro.
[00:26:21]  They just want to.
[00:26:21]  I think they're like, do you have a ball?
[00:26:23]  And they're like, she does.
[00:26:25]  And us, fat Americans put babies on pizzas and shit like that.
[00:26:33]  Oh, this is horrible.
[00:26:35]  It's so funny.
[00:26:37]  We put the babies on food.
[00:26:39]  They play soccer.
[00:26:42]  That is the difference.
[00:26:44]  That is the difference.
[00:26:46]  And we're all going to hell.
[00:26:47]  So we're going to see him down there.
[00:26:49]  Hey, guys, we'll see you soon.
[00:26:52]  Oh.
[00:26:53]  But wait, we have to cut it out because it's graphic.
[00:26:56]  It's just like, no one wants to hear this.
[00:26:58]  Oh, yeah.
[00:26:59]  I thought it was going to have to.
[00:27:00]  It's up to you.
[00:27:00]  I thought you were going to confess a crime or something.
[00:27:02]  I thought you were going to say you did it.
[00:27:03]  Yeah.
[00:27:05]  So I gave him a baseball.
[00:27:06]  Did you play any soccer?
[00:27:08]  It all bounced funny.
[00:27:10]  I couldn't put my finger on it.
[00:27:12]  But it wasn't taking true bounces.
[00:27:15]  Just funny hops every time.
[00:27:17]  Every time it's a goal, it's like, okay.
[00:27:23]  Stop.
[00:27:24]  You said stop myself.
[00:27:26]  Stop.
[00:27:28]  So that was an interesting thing to face, like what I had heard about a place.
[00:27:32]  We don't know the evils that were transpiring at the time.
[00:27:36]  What we're hearing is gang activity, and we have our own internal functions.
[00:27:39]  Exactly.
[00:27:40]  And what their justification is, is literally we didn't have a country anymore.
[00:27:44]  Every young man was in a gang and they were doing the absolutely most insane shit ever.
[00:27:48]  And then this guy comes around and he has the courage to fight it despite putting his life on the line.
[00:27:53]  And you hope that it wouldn't devolve into another abuse of power in the way that the cartels are abusing power.
[00:27:59]  That's the idea.
[00:28:00]  Right.
[00:28:01]  Right.
[00:28:01]  But it's so much that it doesn't matter.
[00:28:02]  But they're like, but then I think.
[00:28:04]  Okay.
[00:28:04]  So like, remember when like, I'll get to like vaccine ship.
[00:28:08]  Remember those commercials like sponsored by Pfizer, sponsored by Pfizer, sponsored by Pfizer, where you see all the news and you're like, oh, and the news is the one pushing.
[00:28:14]  You have to get these.
[00:28:16]  Yeah, it seems like they're.
[00:28:17]  Yeah.
[00:28:17]  It's like, okay, I see where their vested interest in this of making me think I need this thing.
[00:28:22]  Right or wrong, I see why they want me to think it.
[00:28:24]  Of course.

=== Gangs and New Leaders (06:15) ===

[00:28:25]  So what is it about the media here that got me into my head thinking this guy's evil?
[00:28:33]  What are they gaining by that?
[00:28:35]  So this is interesting.
[00:28:36]  And I don't, I don't know.
[00:28:39]  But it's, these aren't my own.
[00:28:41]  I didn't do the research to come up with that.
[00:28:42]  It was given to me.
[00:28:43]  Right.
[00:28:44]  And what do you think it is?
[00:28:47]  Because it's possible they're doing deals with China and they go, no, we want in there.
[00:28:53]  So I didn't hear anything about.
[00:28:56]  I didn't hear anything negative about him.
[00:28:57]  I thought he was actually celebrated, to be honest, like early on.
[00:29:01]  No.
[00:29:01]  When he first started.
[00:29:02]  No, when he first started, I heard a lot of celebrations around him.
[00:29:06]  Aye, Bukele is his name, right?
[00:29:08]  Yeah.
[00:29:08]  And then I remember there were certain things happening.
[00:29:11]  Like, remember he took a big stake in Bitcoin or something?
[00:29:14]  Or maybe he tried to make the country go Bitcoin.
[00:29:17]  He's only concerned with helping other countries.
[00:29:19]  So go if we were using the US dollar.
[00:29:22]  Right.
[00:29:22]  Which is like Ecuador does.
[00:29:24]  A lot of countries do, Cambodia.
[00:29:25]  Yeah.
[00:29:26]  But like, and somebody, I think a Bitcoin guy reached out to him on Twitter and goes, let me help your currency.
[00:29:32]  You should destabilize it or whatever it's called and go with that.
[00:29:35]  And he goes, I'm listening.
[00:29:36]  Yeah.
[00:29:36]  Come down.
[00:29:37]  Let's meet.
[00:29:38]  And maybe that threatens like American hegemony.
[00:29:40]  Exactly.
[00:29:41]  Where they talk about the gold standard shit that I don't understand.
[00:29:43]  Yeah, maybe.
[00:29:45]  But like, it seems to me that, you know, if he's.
[00:29:47]  And then he talks to Trump, which the liberals will go, fuck you.
[00:29:50]  How dare you?
[00:29:51]  Yeah.
[00:29:52]  But this guy, by the way, right now, he goes, open a business here, no taxes, zero.
[00:29:57]  Wow.
[00:29:58]  For like five years until we revisit, and we won't ever backpet.
[00:30:01]  That's the tricky thing with the investment, I imagine, in any place in the third world, which is like, how can I ensure the safety?
[00:30:06]  It's just the risk.
[00:30:07]  It's not even the third world.
[00:30:08]  It's like, I would love to open a restaurant in, you know, downtown or what's it called?
[00:30:12]  The south side of Chicago.
[00:30:14]  Town Beirut.
[00:30:15]  Yeah.
[00:30:16]  Sebastian.
[00:30:17]  What is it?
[00:30:17]  That's Town Beirut?
[00:30:22]  I think it's two things where like Americans have such a premium on freedom that, oh, this person gets locked up because their uncle was in a gang goes against like the our ethos.
[00:30:34]  But then in addition to that, I think any type of like authoritarian strongman in Central America, really around the world, that doesn't have like absolute fealty to America gets a bad rap, either through a coup or through a media campaign.
[00:30:46]  Yeah, it could be that for sure.
[00:30:48]  They're not using the dollar.
[00:30:49]  Yeah, it could be a lot of stuff.
[00:30:50]  We also don't want that trend to continue in America, right?
[00:30:53]  It's like, we don't want this guy to, all of a sudden, one guy takes total control and the country starts doing amazing.
[00:30:58]  And then you don't want Americans to be like, that kind of sounds like a good idea.
[00:31:01]  Yeah, exactly.
[00:31:01]  So yeah, that's.
[00:31:03]  But it's interesting.
[00:31:03]  It's interesting going to these places and like, this isn't what I had heard.
[00:31:06]  So the feeling was love and support.
[00:31:08]  And it wasn't love and support out of fear.
[00:31:10]  Like if I say something bad, I could get arrested.
[00:31:12]  It was love and support out of we have a way of life now.
[00:31:15]  Did you talk to people whose family members were unfairly arrested?
[00:31:18]  Like, did you hear any of those stories?
[00:31:19]  Yeah.
[00:31:20]  Like, oh, my cousin got jammed up.
[00:31:21]  And what was it?
[00:31:22]  So Jorge has a lot of tattoos.
[00:31:23]  This guy gives doors.
[00:31:24]  And he goes, I get harassed.
[00:31:25]  I get strip searched.
[00:31:26]  That is annoying.
[00:31:27]  That's the cost.
[00:31:28]  It's beyond annoying.
[00:31:29]  It's, I'm trying to do my day.
[00:31:31]  I assume it's kind of like if you have a nice car, maybe not in New York, but from what I remember in college, it was like, I'm black.
[00:31:36]  I have a nice car.
[00:31:37]  I can't make movies on time because there's a chance I get pulled over.
[00:31:40]  You used to have like stop and frisk here like crazy.
[00:31:42]  And I used to get pulled over all the time.
[00:31:43]  Yeah.
[00:31:44]  And after a while, you're like, and that's the resistance.
[00:31:46]  We're like, get off me.
[00:31:48]  Oh, you fucked up.
[00:31:48]  And that's why they did it 10th time.
[00:31:50]  Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[00:31:51]  And so that's annoying for him, but he wasn't there watching some of this terrible stuff.
[00:31:56]  Oh, he moved there.
[00:31:57]  His parents sent him away to Guatemala.
[00:31:59]  Oh.
[00:31:59]  He came back in his 20s.
[00:32:01]  By the way, side effect of no man between 20 and 40?
[00:32:04]  A ton of stuff.
[00:32:04]  He fucks.
[00:32:05]  That was the other thing I was going to ask.
[00:32:07]  They said that about Russia post-World War II.
[00:32:09]  Like 25 million dudes or whatever get murdered.
[00:32:12]  Yeah.
[00:32:13]  Or die of war or whatever.
[00:32:14]  You're like, I'm not committing.
[00:32:15]  No, they said that like every dude would have five or six chicks and he could be an absolute alcoholic.
[00:32:19]  And the women just had to put up with them.
[00:32:20]  It's like one to two.
[00:32:22]  I mean, like, I think like a quarter of the population dies in Stalin Red.
[00:32:26]  Well, yeah, what happens to the population now that you check men?
[00:32:28]  They get weird.
[00:32:29]  What do you decline?
[00:32:30]  Well, sometimes there's a sexual revolution, right?
[00:32:32]  Because the chick's got to be a little bit more open or else you're never going to have a guy.
[00:32:35]  Two things can happen.
[00:32:36]  This is just like Germany and Japan facing the horrors that happened in World War II.
[00:32:44]  So Germany, look at their music and their styles, went very industrial.
[00:32:48]  Dance like this now, in like warehouses.
[00:32:51]  Japan went into, if you could kill a million people in a second, they went fetal.
[00:32:56]  They went feral, not feral, childlike.
[00:32:58]  Yeah, yeah.
[00:32:59]  They love Hello Kitty.
[00:33:00]  Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[00:33:01]  They do that where it's like, we can't be adults in this world.
[00:33:04]  Whoa.
[00:33:05]  Interesting.
[00:33:06]  That's definitely with the women there.
[00:33:09]  When I was in Japan, I noticed that.
[00:33:12]  I was like, oh, there's no, there's no, there's no like elegance.
[00:33:16]  There's cutesy.
[00:33:17]  Cutesy, right?
[00:33:18]  Women are cutesy, but they're not like, there's no like 34-year-old, beautiful, elegant woman that you see.
[00:33:25]  It's just teenage, tiny, and then like grandmas.
[00:33:28]  There's this gap.
[00:33:30]  And I don't know if like, it is weird because if you're like a 20-year-old dude, like, are you kind of into this?
[00:33:35]  Do you become into it then?
[00:33:37]  It is odd.
[00:33:37]  Yeah.
[00:33:38]  What about all the broken homes?
[00:33:40]  Because like now you have a bunch of houses where no dad's there.
[00:33:44]  What are the girls acting like?
[00:33:45]  In El Salvador?
[00:33:46]  Yeah.
[00:33:47]  I didn't really, I didn't really meet many locals in El Salvador.
[00:33:50]  Hung out with like a German couple.
[00:33:53]  I didn't really meet.
[00:33:54]  I didn't really meet locals there.
[00:33:56]  A couple, but like not really.
[00:33:57]  That is the thing that happens when you're traveling is like, even when you meet the people who live there, they're kind of like you in that they're a little bit outsiders as well.
[00:34:05]  Did you find this?
[00:34:06]  Like when I lived in Spain, like all of my friends, they were from Spain.
[00:34:10]  But it was like, it was like his dad was the first black dude in San Sebastian.
[00:34:16]  That's why he'd be friends with you.
[00:34:18]  Because he's like, I'm a little bit of an outsider here, too.
[00:34:21]  So you end up kind of connecting with the people who are going through the experience in the same way.
[00:34:25]  When'd you live in Spain?
[00:34:26]  Took a year off college.
[00:34:28]  Interesting, Gampier.
[00:34:29]  Good idea.
[00:34:30]  What's your pickup line when you're trying to make friends?
[00:34:32]  Like if you're like traveling alone and you want to not be alone, what do you do?
[00:34:36]  Yeah.
[00:34:37]  So if you go through like loneliness and then like social, loneliness and social.

=== Outsiders in Spain (10:47) ===

[00:34:41]  So one weapon I have is that I have some minor level of fame and I didn't get recognized a lot.
[00:34:48]  But when I do at a hostel, it's a weapon.
[00:34:52]  I'm like, we're going.
[00:34:54]  In Peru, this guy was like, this New Zealand guy was like, you could tell when somebody recognizes you.
[00:34:58]  It's like, and then I saw him do that.
[00:35:00]  I'm like, fine, whatever.
[00:35:00]  But I was also feeling like, I'm lonely.
[00:35:02]  Yeah.
[00:35:03]  And he goes, what's your name?
[00:35:03]  Like, you know what my fucking name is.
[00:35:08]  And he's like, what are you doing here?
[00:35:09]  I'm like, I've heard this in New Zealand pedophiles and I got to find, get me a drink.
[00:35:14]  And he's like, all right.
[00:35:15]  And now it's like, you know, that night, he's got Australian friends.
[00:35:18]  We're doing blow in the bathroom.
[00:35:20]  And it's like, let's go.
[00:35:22]  That's funny.
[00:35:23]  I'm surprised they're not sad for you.
[00:35:24]  I'm like, what are you doing at a hostel?
[00:35:29]  Yeah.
[00:35:30]  This guy's real.
[00:35:30]  I thought, damn, if you can't afford a hotel.
[00:35:34]  That's the upside for us.
[00:35:35]  Nobody.
[00:35:36]  I love hostels.
[00:35:37]  They're so fun.
[00:35:38]  It's just other travelers talking about where else they've been.
[00:35:42]  Like Bolivia.
[00:35:42]  I was like, I don't know, Bolivia.
[00:35:43]  And everyone you meet in Guatemala was like, no, Bolivia rules.
[00:35:46]  Did you do the, what is that, salt flats?
[00:35:48]  Uni, yeah.
[00:35:49]  What is it called?
[00:35:49]  The uni salt flats.
[00:35:50]  Uni salt flats.
[00:35:51]  Yeah, what is it like?
[00:35:52]  What is that?
[00:35:53]  Can we get that?
[00:35:53]  It looks like, it looks like snow.
[00:35:55]  Yeah.
[00:35:55]  It looks like a snow.
[00:35:57]  It's salt that has come up.
[00:35:58]  Look at this.
[00:35:59]  Yeah.
[00:36:00]  So the, and there's.
[00:36:01]  Oh, that's when it rains.
[00:36:02]  So when it rains, I didn't go in that season.
[00:36:04]  It's just sheer.
[00:36:04]  It looks like a glass.
[00:36:06]  It's a perfect reflection of the sky.
[00:36:09]  But all the ground is and all the water.
[00:36:11]  See the grid over there?
[00:36:12]  It looks like a soccer ball.
[00:36:13]  Right.
[00:36:13]  So the water is trying to escape and it comes up in these like grid, but it's just for forever.
[00:36:18]  Oh, wow.
[00:36:18]  I mean, miles and miles.
[00:36:20]  They love soccer, bro.
[00:36:21]  Love soccer.
[00:36:22]  Big, big soccer fans.
[00:36:24]  So wait, and what do you do there?
[00:36:25]  Because it's like, what, four hours, six hours?
[00:36:27]  You stay in the salt hotel.
[00:36:29]  The walls are lickable.
[00:36:30]  No.
[00:36:31]  Yeah.
[00:36:32]  Yeah.
[00:36:32]  Like everything is carved out of salt.
[00:36:34]  Do you think there's some guy who jerks off on the wall?
[00:36:36]  Like, man, when someone likes to go.
[00:36:37]  I know there was one.
[00:36:42]  Every hotel Alex stays in is a salt hotel.
[00:36:44]  I actually know that there was that.
[00:36:46]  Okay.
[00:36:47]  You stay in Salt Hotel.
[00:36:48]  Yeah.
[00:36:50]  You go on these hikes.
[00:36:51]  You bike over it.
[00:36:52]  It's just like cool to see.
[00:36:53]  Yeah.
[00:36:57]  Yeah, there's no like culture.
[00:36:58]  They just mine it.
[00:36:59]  It's salt.
[00:36:59]  Do people live out there as a tourist then?
[00:37:01]  No, they did for a while and then like they mine it for commerce.
[00:37:05]  And now they're like, it's also a tourist thing.
[00:37:06]  Yeah.
[00:37:06]  Because it is like pretty.
[00:37:08]  There's an island on it.
[00:37:09]  So it comes up and it's like cacti.
[00:37:11]  And then like, it just looks like snow.
[00:37:13]  And also the distance effect is weird.
[00:37:16]  So you can take pictures like that.
[00:37:18]  See that chick on the right?
[00:37:19]  Oh, wow.
[00:37:19]  So you can't tell how far everything is.
[00:37:21]  God, because it's so flat.
[00:37:22]  Yeah.
[00:37:23]  I took pictures.
[00:37:23]  All I had with me was Burt's shoes.
[00:37:27]  So I took a picture with these giant Burke shoes with me leaning on them.
[00:37:31]  Yeah.
[00:37:31]  I got to send them to.
[00:37:32]  Yeah.
[00:37:33]  Yeah.
[00:37:33]  Isn't that weird?
[00:37:34]  And they're just like further.
[00:37:36]  Wow.
[00:37:36]  That's sick.
[00:37:38]  Yeah.
[00:37:38]  It's they're fun to take.
[00:37:39]  Okay.
[00:37:40]  The rest of Bolivia.
[00:37:41]  How was the rest of Bolivia?
[00:37:42]  Sick.
[00:37:43]  This is your first time to Bolivia?
[00:37:44]  Yeah.
[00:37:44]  You've been?
[00:37:45]  No, but it's been a place I wanted to check out.
[00:37:47]  Yeah, very interesting culture.
[00:37:49]  I was there when they got rid of their leader.
[00:37:54]  Dude, I was in two places where they got rid of their leader while I was there.
[00:37:59]  The fuck?
[00:37:59]  Yeah.
[00:38:00]  Wait, Bolivia.
[00:38:01]  Peru.
[00:38:02]  I was in Avankai.
[00:38:03]  I was in Avankai, a nothing town.
[00:38:06]  He's messaged.
[00:38:08]  It happened to be in all these countries where two's happening.
[00:38:10]  That's how you don't go to Nicaragua.
[00:38:12]  I live in three countries.
[00:38:15]  I just came back from Venezuela.
[00:38:17]  What kind of CIA offices?
[00:38:19]  That's crazy.
[00:38:20]  You were in South America while all this shit went down.
[00:38:22]  I was in the city that the president was from when they got rid of her.
[00:38:26]  Got rid of means what?
[00:38:27]  There's some form of a it wasn't.
[00:38:29]  No, it wasn't like pitchforks.
[00:38:32]  And so, which was interesting.
[00:38:33]  And then that same city was a nothing town.
[00:38:36]  I was trying to ameliorate.
[00:38:37]  Is that right?
[00:38:38]  To Cusco to get rid of, get used to the altitude.
[00:38:41]  Okay.
[00:38:41]  And then you stop in a town one day.
[00:38:43]  Yeah.
[00:38:44]  Yeah.
[00:38:44]  And they're like, she's from here.
[00:38:45]  And they got rid of her because she wasn't hard enough on crime.
[00:38:48]  They saw what Bukele was doing.
[00:38:49]  They're like, we want that.
[00:38:49]  They're like, yeah, how come we're, how come our fucking bus drivers are getting murdered by Venezuelan gangs?
[00:38:55]  Yeah.
[00:38:55]  Because you can't fucking do anything.
[00:38:57]  They're shake down these bus drivers for like a buck a day, but they're like, that's killing me.
[00:39:01]  One bus driver said, no, I'm not paying you anymore.
[00:39:03]  They just like, well, we got to kill you.
[00:39:05]  Massive protests in the streets and they got rid of her.
[00:39:09]  And then the leader of Congress took over.
[00:39:11]  And then you could ask questions.
[00:39:12]  And I'm like, why was it the leader of Congress?
[00:39:15]  You don't have like vice presidents.
[00:39:16]  I just like want to know about their system.
[00:39:18]  And they go, no, no, she was the vice president.
[00:39:20]  We got rid of the president a year ago.
[00:39:22]  She was the vice president.
[00:39:23]  She took over.
[00:39:24]  We got rid of her.
[00:39:26]  It's like they just go, we're done with.
[00:39:29]  They have power down there.
[00:39:30]  Kind of cool.
[00:39:30]  The people have power.
[00:39:32]  I mean, that is democracy and action.
[00:39:34]  They're so crooked everywhere, but the people can do stuff.
[00:39:37]  And the people are aware of how crooked it is, yet they don't accept it.
[00:39:41]  Whereas in other parts of the world, they know that the government is crooked.
[00:39:44]  They just kind of accept this as the status quo.
[00:39:46]  This is why in Australia, they just do blow and get drunk.
[00:39:48]  Because we know it's crooked.
[00:39:49]  So it is what it is.
[00:39:50]  Why the fuck are we going to do it?
[00:39:51]  Here we still think we have a chance to change it.
[00:39:53]  Yeah.
[00:39:54]  When we don't, there they're like, we know we don't.
[00:39:56]  Let's let's join.
[00:39:57]  But then the standard of living is good enough, I guess.
[00:39:59]  That's right.
[00:39:59]  I think that's the difference.
[00:40:00]  It's like, if the standard of living isn't good enough, you're like, well, if we're going to suffer, we might as well fight this shit.
[00:40:05]  Yeah.
[00:40:05]  If there's cocaine that's just good enough and the weather's perfect every single day and I can go to the fucking beach and everybody's in good shape, what am I going to bitch about the government for?
[00:40:13]  So I was taking some Spanish class in the north and the guy at the end of class every day, he goes, let's talk about, let's use your Spanish and talk about the culture here so we can actually put your Spanish into play.
[00:40:22]  Every like month or so, I'm like, let me take a couple days class so I can get by better.
[00:40:26]  Yeah.
[00:40:27]  I'd say like I'm hitting a wall in my conversation.
[00:40:30]  This isn't fun.
[00:40:31]  Yeah.
[00:40:31]  Let me stop.
[00:40:34]  And he was talking about the government.
[00:40:35]  He goes, Trump's your guy, right?
[00:40:37]  I'm like, yeah, he goes, everybody thinks he's crooked.
[00:40:38]  I'm like, yeah.
[00:40:39]  He goes.
[00:40:40]  So there, he controls Congress, the Senate, maybe, but he doesn't control the media.
[00:40:46]  Here, they also control the media.
[00:40:48]  So you can't even find it.
[00:40:49]  I go, do you know about the protests that are happening now?
[00:40:50]  I'm like, no, he goes, right.
[00:40:51]  Exactly.
[00:40:52]  Why not?
[00:40:52]  You could only find out on TikTok or Instagram.
[00:40:55]  And they don't, not sanction those.
[00:40:58]  They don't shut those down or they don't outside.
[00:41:01]  They don't control it.
[00:41:02]  So yeah, right.
[00:41:03]  They could just not allow that.
[00:41:03]  Yeah, they could not allow it like China, but they don't.
[00:41:06]  Interesting.
[00:41:07]  So it's like a different thing.
[00:41:08]  So in Bolivia, they had a guy for 20 years.
[00:41:10]  And what he did was he said farmers are more important.
[00:41:14]  He ran the media too.
[00:41:16]  They run the media.
[00:41:17]  He goes, farmers are more important to our society than city folk.
[00:41:20]  We've heard this one before.
[00:41:22]  So he goes, I'm giving farmers a two-to-one vote over city folk.
[00:41:27]  Now, city folk could see the problems with their country.
[00:41:30]  Farmers are just getting it from the radio, which is run by the government who's saying everything's great.
[00:41:36]  So they're going, no, this guy's great.
[00:41:37]  Everything's really nice.
[00:41:37]  There's no crime.
[00:41:38]  Yeah.
[00:41:39]  And then they couldn't outvote the two-to-one rural people.
[00:41:43]  Wow.
[00:41:43]  And then finally they did.
[00:41:44]  And I was in Bolivia in Sucre, and there were all these streets.
[00:41:47]  It was just cool to be in these.
[00:41:49]  Wait, it was still currently two to one while you were there.
[00:41:51]  And then they overturned it.
[00:41:53]  So I was like, why are these streets blocked off?
[00:41:54]  They're like, inauguration.
[00:41:56]  And I'm like, oh, what do you mean?
[00:41:57]  They're like, the new guys take it over right now.
[00:42:00]  And I'm like, when?
[00:42:00]  They're like, you want to go?
[00:42:01]  I'm like, yeah, I want to go.
[00:42:04]  And I saw him get inaugurated, this new guy, and everyone was crying.
[00:42:07]  And like, it's really cool.
[00:42:10]  It's fun.
[00:42:11]  And what is what do they sorry, Go Mark?
[00:42:13]  No, did you like sense the hope?
[00:42:14]  Like, was everyone just like that?
[00:42:15]  Yeah, like finally we got out of it.
[00:42:17]  It wasn't like us, four years, eight years, whatever.
[00:42:19]  Like they, 20 years.
[00:42:21]  If you're 30, you've never, you don't remember him not being the guy.
[00:42:25]  The guy's in charge.
[00:42:26]  Yeah.
[00:42:26]  Yeah.
[00:42:26]  Two decades.
[00:42:27]  And Rugo Flash.
[00:42:29]  Wow.
[00:42:30]  Okay.
[00:42:30]  So when they see you there in Bolivia?
[00:42:34]  Yeah, you're 6'2?
[00:42:37]  6'2.5.
[00:42:38]  All right, so you're 6'3.
[00:42:41]  You're bearded and you bearded up.
[00:42:44]  So I shaved my beard.
[00:42:45]  I had a layover in Mexico City.
[00:42:47]  I shaved everything at the Mexico City Lounge.
[00:42:53]  Dude, pro tip, use the shower in those lounges.
[00:42:56]  Oh, it's yeah.
[00:42:57]  If you're at a layover, you're refreshed.
[00:42:59]  Yeah.
[00:42:59]  They had one.
[00:42:59]  I was like, hook it up.
[00:43:00]  And then I just shaved everything.
[00:43:01]  I took a shoe.
[00:43:02]  Oh, she went clean.
[00:43:03]  You went clean.
[00:43:04]  And then I haven't touched it since then.
[00:43:05]  Okay.
[00:43:06]  All right.
[00:43:06]  So that beard, Bolivia would have been probably two months of beards.
[00:43:10]  Oh, so you have a little something.
[00:43:11]  Probably about maybe that level.
[00:43:13]  I'm just trying to understand how they're interpreting you.
[00:43:16]  Are they thinking you're a local in any way, shape?
[00:43:18]  Sucre is a sucre is a language class town.
[00:43:21]  Yeah.
[00:43:22]  A lot of people go there and so they're used to some whites.
[00:43:25]  Got it.
[00:43:25]  It's not that isolation.
[00:43:26]  It's like elsewhere.
[00:43:27]  But they're seeing you as white.
[00:43:28]  Because I think a lot of the misconception that I think a lot of Americans have of South America is that it's no white people, where it's like there are tons.
[00:43:36]  Tons of whites.
[00:43:37]  Tons of whites.
[00:43:38]  There's immigration for years and years.
[00:43:40]  Yeah, exactly.
[00:43:40]  So is there any point in time where they're kind of seeing you like that?
[00:43:43]  There's little Italies.
[00:43:44]  There's like little Israel, there's little everything.
[00:43:48]  They all like pulled up.
[00:43:49]  But there's Germans, tons.
[00:43:51]  You're an outsider to them every single time.
[00:43:53]  There's no part where they start to, you kind of start to flow seamlessly.
[00:43:57]  No, I was.
[00:43:58]  At some point.
[00:43:59]  Like if you go, they're like, I don't know, you dress, there's stuff you don't even notice.
[00:44:03]  You're dressing different.
[00:44:03]  You can't put your finger on it.
[00:44:04]  They can tell.
[00:44:05]  Yeah.
[00:44:05]  Here in New York, Steve, Backdoor Steve told me, because you can tell a tourist they look up instead of forward or down.
[00:44:12]  And also instead of in the winter, instead of wearing a big coat, they wear layers of smaller things.
[00:44:17]  Yeah, because they don't have it where they're from.
[00:44:18]  Yeah.
[00:44:18]  So they don't think they're big a tourist.
[00:44:20]  They're like, I'm just like a local, but like, we don't do this.
[00:44:22]  There's rats.
[00:44:23]  Just move.
[00:44:25]  We don't do this.
[00:44:26]  We learn the hard way.
[00:44:29]  So I'm sure they clue into the little things.
[00:44:32]  But no, sometimes you're like really getting a cool conversations with people and become friendly.
[00:44:37]  And like, it's fun.
[00:44:38]  I don't know.
[00:44:39]  Any touristy shit you saw that blew your fucking mind and you're like, this is touristy, but it is so fucking worth it.
[00:44:46]  In Guazoo Falls.
[00:44:47]  Iguazoo Falls.
[00:44:48]  Where is it?
[00:44:49]  It's in the Argentina, Brazil.
[00:44:52]  Border.
[00:44:53]  And Paraguay is right there too.
[00:44:54]  Border.
[00:44:55]  Yeah.
[00:44:56]  Niagara's a fucking dicklocker compared to this.
[00:44:59]  Oh, my.
[00:45:00]  Yeah.
[00:45:00]  And they have these walkways that are built out over.
[00:45:03]  I mean, they go.
[00:45:04]  You built out over.
[00:45:05]  So see the top?
[00:45:06]  Yeah.
[00:45:06]  You can walk from those.
[00:45:08]  They built sides falling into it.
[00:45:11]  Holy shit.
[00:45:12]  Yeah.
[00:45:12]  So they have to see that.
[00:45:13]  See the walkway?
[00:45:13]  No.
[00:45:14]  Oh, on the right side.
[00:45:15]  Yeah.
[00:45:15]  So that's like a 20-minute walk over the waters that you know people died making because there's a current.
[00:45:24]  Like, of course.
[00:45:25]  And they're like, yeah.
[00:45:27]  It looks like Avatar.

=== Iguazu Falls Walkways (13:49) ===

[00:45:28]  They don't have Mexicans to offer up.
[00:45:29]  So that was their own.
[00:45:32]  Yeah, it looks like Avatar.
[00:45:34]  It was really cool.
[00:45:35]  Holy shit.
[00:45:36]  But.
[00:45:37]  But.
[00:45:38]  Chinese.
[00:45:40]  What do you mean?
[00:45:40]  What do you mean?
[00:45:41]  They're the louders.
[00:45:42]  Tell me about pushy, shrill.
[00:45:45]  There's a line for the flags.
[00:45:47]  They got the flags.
[00:45:48]  The pictures.
[00:45:48]  Yeah.
[00:45:50]  It's like, why?
[00:45:52]  Why can I hear you from that part?
[00:45:54]  You're talking to someone next to you.
[00:45:57]  What is this?
[00:45:59]  There was like a viewpoint and we had a line that just naturally formed.
[00:46:02]  Like one at a time for the view.
[00:46:03]  And you see them inching, inching, and you're like, hey, hey, there's a line.
[00:46:06]  And I go, yeah, yeah.
[00:46:07]  Inching.
[00:46:08]  They don't have the line.
[00:46:08]  And then they just go in.
[00:46:10]  That's a British thing.
[00:46:11]  Yeah.
[00:46:11]  The Q.
[00:46:12]  The Q is a.
[00:46:13]  Oh, yeah.
[00:46:13]  If you want to take that picture alone, that's one at a time shit.
[00:46:16]  And Chinese are like, nah.
[00:46:18]  Yeah, I mean, they just got able to travel like 30 years ago.
[00:46:21]  So they're learning about lines.
[00:46:23]  It was like, okay, my grandparents were in a famine and then now I get to go because she spoke out against Mao.
[00:46:29]  Yeah, exactly.
[00:46:30]  My other sister's a soccer boy.
[00:46:32]  Yeah.
[00:46:32]  Look at that walkthrough.
[00:46:40]  I was like, you need to cut this out.
[00:46:42]  What if we say we already cut it out?
[00:46:48]  We out of here, baby.
[00:46:49]  We out of here.
[00:46:50]  We're doing jokes.
[00:46:53]  Oh, my God.
[00:46:54]  Yeah, there's some place like that.
[00:46:55]  Machu Picchu.
[00:46:56]  Did you do the...
[00:46:57]  Yeah.
[00:46:57]  And okay.
[00:46:58]  Can you break it?
[00:46:59]  So Machu Picchu, my understanding is that it's not like a day trip.
[00:47:03]  This is a few days.
[00:47:04]  You have to climb up to it.
[00:47:05]  You have to drop it over here.
[00:47:07]  If you're old, you can take a train from Cusco.
[00:47:10]  Anyone can take a train from Cusco.
[00:47:11]  It doesn't have to be old.
[00:47:13]  But Ryan O'Neill, if you know him, is a comic.
[00:47:16]  He came to visit.
[00:47:17]  So he knew that.
[00:47:19]  Because I told everybody, if you was anything in all of Mexico down that you wanted to do, let me know and I'll tell you when I'm going to be near there and I'll change my direction for you.
[00:47:28]  And even though you changed your number and said you wouldn't contact anybody, but that's really, oh, no.
[00:47:37]  I wrote their fucking numbers down on a pizza paper and I said, tell me what you are.
[00:47:41]  I'll tell you.
[00:47:42]  I'll reach out then.
[00:47:44]  Fucking dick liquor.
[00:47:46]  I'm back on tour and stop attacking your friends.
[00:47:49]  I come in here.
[00:47:50]  You're my last friend here.
[00:47:53]  Okay, okay.
[00:47:53]  So Ryan goes down.
[00:47:55]  Ryan goes down to meeting.
[00:47:56]  Text Ryan from this is hilarious.
[00:47:58]  You text Ryan from a random number.
[00:48:00]  He trusts that it's you.
[00:48:01]  Yeah.
[00:48:02]  Nobody else tried to prank him.
[00:48:03]  Like, that's a hilarious break.
[00:48:04]  Okay, so I found Saul Volcano's number.
[00:48:07]  Yeah.
[00:48:07]  And I go, I go, I knew what his birthday was.
[00:48:11]  And I, from Ryan, I was like, give me Sal's number.
[00:48:13]  And I said, happy birthday from Bolivia.
[00:48:16]  And no response.
[00:48:18]  And then another one, another one.
[00:48:19]  And then we're just like, this is fun now.
[00:48:21]  I was on WhatsApp.
[00:48:22]  So then I was texting him every like two, three weeks, updates.
[00:48:25]  I knew he'd get way later.
[00:48:27]  He's just not checking these.
[00:48:28]  And then I finally got through to him and he's like, why don't you write me?
[00:48:30]  I'm like, bro, I wrote you every two weeks.
[00:48:34]  And he goes, where?
[00:48:34]  I'm like, what?
[00:48:35]  They go, WhatsApp?
[00:48:36]  And then he went and looked and he goes, oh, dude, I saw happy birthday from Bolivia and I go, instant block.
[00:48:43]  He goes, I didn't read the rest.
[00:48:45]  There's no way that's not spam.
[00:48:46]  Block that number.
[00:48:47]  I love it.
[00:48:48]  Yeah.
[00:48:49]  So, yeah.
[00:48:49]  So Ryan meets you down there.
[00:48:50]  You guys decided to go to Machu Picchu.
[00:48:52]  Five-day hike, Sulken Tight Pass.
[00:48:54]  Okay.
[00:48:55]  There's a different version where you don't have to do the hike.
[00:48:57]  But even then, don't you have to like stop at a city at the base?
[00:49:01]  Yeah, there's a.
[00:49:02]  This is not a day trip place is what I'm basically trying to do.
[00:49:04]  You got to get tickets.
[00:49:05]  You got a plane.
[00:49:05]  Yeah, you got to get tickets.
[00:49:06]  That's the only reason we had to plan that ahead of time because it's so, I think since COVID, it's so packed that you have to like get a specific day pass ahead.
[00:49:14]  Pro tip, number two.
[00:49:16]  What was the other pro tip?
[00:49:18]  Take the shower at the lounge.
[00:49:20]  Pro tip number two.
[00:49:21]  Bribe any of them to go on whatever tour you want.
[00:49:23]  Yeah.
[00:49:23]  They sell you tour one or two or two or three, one or two or three, and then AB for each one.
[00:49:27]  And you want to go, I think 2A is the one with the iconic viewpoint.
[00:49:32]  Yeah.
[00:49:32]  So me and O'Neill were like, we're like, well, let's see what's up here.
[00:49:35]  We're not supposed to go here, but let's go.
[00:49:36]  And some guy's like, hey, hey, can I see your pass?
[00:49:39]  And I'm like, yeah.
[00:49:40]  First of all, it's closed for the season.
[00:49:42]  Second of all, your pass doesn't even work here anyway.
[00:49:44]  And we're like, okay.
[00:49:45]  And he goes, but do you want to go?
[00:49:48]  And I was like, I don't even know what this is, dude.
[00:49:50]  I love it.
[00:49:51]  I don't even know what this is.
[00:49:52]  But I was like, kind of.
[00:49:53]  And he goes.
[00:49:54]  And then one of his friends starts yelling.
[00:49:55]  And I'm like, oh, he's telling him.
[00:49:57]  How much?
[00:49:57]  Yeah, but they're talking Quechua.
[00:49:59]  So I'm like, I'm not sure, or whatever's there.
[00:50:01]  So I'm like, 20.
[00:50:03]  And he goes, go and come back.
[00:50:05]  $20 is $4.
[00:50:07]  Oh, $20 there, dollars.
[00:50:08]  Yeah.
[00:50:09]  And I was like, I don't want to go too high.
[00:50:11]  And he goes, go, go back.
[00:50:12]  And we were out on this Inca bridge by ourselves for like an hour and a half, smoking a joint with the most beautiful viewpoint, just me and O'Neill having a blast.
[00:50:24]  You don't have pictures of this?
[00:50:25]  I can send you some.
[00:50:27]  We for sure do.
[00:50:27]  Okay.
[00:50:27]  That's so cool.
[00:50:28]  What do you mean?
[00:50:29]  When you mean the Inca Bridge, you're saying a bridge that they built.
[00:50:31]  There's to escape the Spaniards.
[00:50:34]  Okay.
[00:50:34]  That's on this back way to Machu Picchu.
[00:50:36]  And they have, it's pretty cool.
[00:50:38]  The Incas are wild with architecture.
[00:50:40]  So they have this bridge.
[00:50:41]  So it's all this, like on a mountain, there's like ledge they built with like stones over the slave built.
[00:50:48]  So see that?
[00:50:49]  I thought it was decrepit.
[00:50:50]  It's not.
[00:50:51]  That bridge thing, they run away.
[00:50:53]  If you run to the right, that's a way.
[00:50:55]  And then it swings out so no one can follow you.
[00:50:58]  That middle thing they can make swing out.
[00:51:00]  Yeah.
[00:51:01]  So then they just pull that away and anyone following.
[00:51:03]  And this is, that's not, that's all stones.
[00:51:05]  So they pulled that up.
[00:51:07]  Yeah.
[00:51:07]  Remarkable.
[00:51:08]  Wow.
[00:51:09]  Wow.
[00:51:09]  Unbelievable.
[00:51:10]  Yeah.
[00:51:12]  Okay.
[00:51:12]  So you're on that bridge.
[00:51:13]  So we're, we're like, right.
[00:51:15]  I mean, we're like here.
[00:51:16]  Whatever.
[00:51:17]  This isn't good video, but like we're, oh, yeah.
[00:51:19]  Wait, what was the last one?
[00:51:22]  Yeah, we're about there.
[00:51:23]  Oh, no, we went around there.
[00:51:24]  So we went around there.
[00:51:25]  So that's during the season.
[00:51:26]  And it was just us, dude.
[00:51:28]  It was so fucking cool.
[00:51:30]  And just got, and that is the place to get stoned with a view from the air.
[00:51:35]  Hold on one second.
[00:51:35]  They're stacking those stones that we're looking at from how far below?
[00:51:40]  I don't know, a mile and a half.
[00:51:41]  Yeah, I don't know.
[00:51:43]  Far.
[00:51:43]  Pretty far.
[00:51:44]  Holy shit.
[00:51:45]  Yeah.
[00:51:46]  Wow.
[00:51:46]  And that was their escape route when they were getting attacked.
[00:51:49]  So that.
[00:51:51]  I mean, it's crazy, but also, if you see Machu Picchu, you're like, the whole thing is crazy.
[00:51:54]  The whole thing.
[00:51:54]  Have you been?
[00:51:55]  No, I've just seen pictures and just read about it.
[00:51:57]  It's just the most insane thing ever.
[00:51:59]  The reason why Machu Picchu is so impressive is because of the altitude, right?
[00:52:02]  It's like getting that rock up there.
[00:52:04]  It's not like you're like, you've seen pyramids that are more remarkable.
[00:52:07]  Oh, yeah.
[00:52:08]  I got a picture of me like butt fucking O'Neal right in front of this view.
[00:52:11]  Fire.
[00:52:12]  Fire.
[00:52:13]  You need that one.
[00:52:13]  Okay.
[00:52:15]  Write all these down.
[00:52:15]  I gotta start on my elf.
[00:52:18]  But like the structures that you're seeing there.
[00:52:20]  Yeah.
[00:52:20]  Are they remain?
[00:52:22]  The Inca architecture is they remain, but I'm saying it's not like the pyramids in Giza or whatever.
[00:52:29]  What do you mean?
[00:52:29]  Like in terms of size and structure.
[00:52:31]  No, it's just little homes.
[00:52:33]  But what's fascinating is that they were able to get all that stone up to this altitude.
[00:52:36]  This is a five-day hike, right?
[00:52:38]  So, I mean, they did.
[00:52:39]  So, you know, when you have a friend that says we built a deck on our and like, who did they enslave?
[00:52:44]  Guatemalans did that for you.
[00:52:46]  Or whatever.
[00:52:47]  This is like, no, slaves.
[00:52:48]  So Incas.
[00:52:49]  They didn't build shit.
[00:52:50]  So Incas are getting credit for God it.
[00:52:54]  But they're arguing where you can't get a piece of paper through these rocks, even like hundreds of years later or a couple hundred years later.
[00:53:00]  Perfectly designed, earthquake-proof off-the-shelves always put facades in front of like Jesus stuff.
[00:53:05]  Every earthquake, the facade falls, the original structure remains.
[00:53:08]  Yeah.
[00:53:09]  Wow.
[00:53:09]  Yeah.
[00:53:10]  Yeah.
[00:53:10]  Motorcycle diaries is all that.
[00:53:12]  Like, look at Cusco.
[00:53:13]  It's been destroyed by earthquakes so many times, except for the Inca structures.
[00:53:17]  Yeah.
[00:53:17]  Stay up.
[00:53:18]  Those ones have been around.
[00:53:19]  Did you talk to anybody about that?
[00:53:20]  Was there any like expert in architecture and explains why?
[00:53:24]  I'm sure I didn't really.
[00:53:26]  I honestly Picchu means something.
[00:53:29]  Forgot it.
[00:53:30]  No, I never learned.
[00:53:33]  Dude, I was smoking reefer in a fucking beautiful place.
[00:53:35]  Four-day hike up.
[00:53:37]  Intense or five days, four nights.
[00:53:40]  Yes, very intense.
[00:53:41]  Covey led to turn back from altitude poisoning.
[00:53:43]  Really?
[00:53:43]  Yeah.
[00:53:44]  One just started throwing up.
[00:53:46]  You didn't get sick at all?
[00:53:48]  Okay.
[00:53:49]  So about 30 minutes before the end of the past, where it's the highest point, I started hallucinating.
[00:53:55]  Let's go.
[00:53:56]  No way.
[00:53:56]  Okay.
[00:53:57]  Tell us how to hallucinate it.
[00:53:58]  What?
[00:53:58]  What kind of hallucination?
[00:53:59]  I'm seeing shit.
[00:54:00]  And I'm like, and like, I mean, you know, when you do drugs and you're like, if the first time you're like, is that real?
[00:54:05]  Then you're like, oh, I've done it.
[00:54:06]  That's not real.
[00:54:07]  But I know I'm sick.
[00:54:08]  But like when you're on mushrooms and you're seeing the rocks, there's no trees up there because they're past the tree line.
[00:54:13]  But I'm like, I don't want them to make me turn back.
[00:54:16]  So I can't tell them.
[00:54:17]  Do you tell Ryan?
[00:54:18]  Ryan's a fucking lunatic.
[00:54:20]  He ran up it.
[00:54:22]  He's full-on Tardo.
[00:54:24]  He's like, I'm feeling great.
[00:54:25]  And I'm like, you're hallucinating too then.
[00:54:28]  Yeah.
[00:54:28]  And I'm just like, just like, yeah, but I'm like, I can see it.
[00:54:32]  But it's very hard.
[00:54:33]  The air gets thinner and thinner.
[00:54:34]  What about the coca leaf?
[00:54:35]  Are people ripping that?
[00:54:36]  Yeah, that was great.
[00:54:37]  You're eating coca leaf.
[00:54:38]  What does that feel?
[00:54:38]  What does it feel?
[00:54:39]  Just get kind of juiced.
[00:54:40]  Okay.
[00:54:40]  Coffee?
[00:54:41]  Didn't?
[00:54:42]  Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[00:54:43]  Didn't know later, coca tea, pour hot water of it, that it's that much of a stimulant.
[00:54:47]  I thought it was just altitude.
[00:54:48]  So drink it at night and just like, oh, it's a daytime thing.
[00:54:51]  But you can imagine why people's spiritual place, right?
[00:54:54]  If every time they're climbing up, they all of a sudden start to get these visions.
[00:54:58]  Exactly.
[00:54:59]  I'm talking to the gods.
[00:55:00]  Something magical is happening up there.
[00:55:01]  Yeah.
[00:55:03]  So some people have to turn back.
[00:55:04]  They just start barving and they just get blue.
[00:55:07]  And they're like, you got to get them down.
[00:55:08]  Now there's no air and they're reacting wrong.
[00:55:11]  But then like during the hike up, where are you stopping?
[00:55:14]  Like, are there places to actually some people just do a tent on their back?
[00:55:19]  Whoa.
[00:55:20]  And then do it themselves.
[00:55:21]  Fucking warriors do that.
[00:55:23]  Like, and I met some people, some French couple that was doing it.
[00:55:26]  And I'm like, what?
[00:55:27]  By the way, you don't have to prepare for this.
[00:55:28]  So I can't, I'm not, I'm with a backpack.
[00:55:31]  So they have food for the lodges and stuff.
[00:55:34]  Really interesting, like food they make in a fire, like underground.
[00:55:38]  Like, they have this, they build this, it's like fire, and they put everything in, like, they put stones on it.
[00:55:43]  Yeah, and they put clay busts, and then they bury it, puts hay on top of that.
[00:55:47]  And it was like succulent, chick, like, really good.
[00:55:49]  Yeah, what is it?
[00:55:50]  The luau, yeah, That's crazy.
[00:55:54]  They do that in Hawaii, and they're from like Asia, pretty much, and they do that in Peru.
[00:56:01]  Yeah, yeah, the same like does the smoke get out?
[00:56:04]  No, it's it's packed in there.
[00:56:06]  I wonder if it's so you're not uh telling the ops where you want.
[00:56:12]  Like, I'm being facetious, but at the same time, like if there's smoke, you get to cook discreetly.
[00:56:16]  Yeah, yeah, no predators and shit coming around.
[00:56:19]  Yeah, how do you plan out the path?
[00:56:21]  Like, so go?
[00:56:22]  Yeah, there's groups that are like, we'll take you.
[00:56:25]  Oh, no, not just the hike.
[00:56:26]  I'm talking about this entire trip.
[00:56:27]  Like, are you just like winging it?
[00:56:29]  Yes.
[00:56:30]  So there's a couple things I'm like, I made a list.
[00:56:32]  So every time I met anyone from knowing I'm going to do this in like a year, anyone I met anywhere from a place, I'm like, give me a recommendation.
[00:56:39]  And they're like, oh, Buenos Aires.
[00:56:40]  I'm like, no, no.
[00:56:41]  Give me a bar.
[00:56:42]  Give me a restaurant that you love.
[00:56:44]  Give me like a hike that you like.
[00:56:46]  Okay.
[00:56:46]  The way you would tell someone coming, you wouldn't go Empire State Building.
[00:56:50]  Oh, no, there's this place that does jazz on Wednesdays.
[00:56:52]  You should check out.
[00:56:53]  Gotcha.
[00:56:53]  You know, my neighborhood bagel place is the one.
[00:56:56]  Cut that.
[00:56:57]  That's going to make me get made fun of.
[00:56:59]  The base.
[00:57:04]  My neighbor's Trump guy stored.
[00:57:08]  It's out of my mouth.
[00:57:09]  I knew it was going to fuck me.
[00:57:13]  Attend my shul, you'll, I think it's very nice.
[00:57:19]  It's okay.
[00:57:20]  All right.
[00:57:21]  It's okay.
[00:57:22]  You're not beating the allegations.
[00:57:24]  They know.
[00:57:26]  Good point.
[00:57:27]  And I met a guy in Myanmar.
[00:57:29]  And he was like, I didn't want to bring my camera with me.
[00:57:31]  This guy from, I think, Seattle.
[00:57:33]  And he's like, because I didn't want to be like a tourist.
[00:57:34]  And I was like, you're a six foot two white guy.
[00:57:38]  Bro, it's not the camera.
[00:57:41]  So you're getting these specific recommendations.
[00:57:43]  I was like, tell me something.
[00:57:44]  Google Map.
[00:57:45]  Yeah.
[00:57:45]  Dot.
[00:57:46]  And anywhere I was near something, I'm like, why did I go dot here?
[00:57:49]  It was a recommend from a local.
[00:57:51]  And then boom, you're going to go to the shop.
[00:57:52]  Lifties.
[00:57:53]  They're all Argentinian or Chilean when you're skiing.
[00:57:56]  Lifties?
[00:57:56]  Yeah, lift workers, ski lift.
[00:57:58]  Oh, yeah, yeah.
[00:57:59]  You know, where people work in like the sessions.
[00:58:02]  Yeah.
[00:58:02]  You start talking to them, the doneras, it opens up everything.
[00:58:05]  Right.
[00:58:05]  And then you're just like, give me something.
[00:58:08]  Yeah.
[00:58:08]  The first one was this sick, no electricity beach in Uruguay.
[00:58:12]  That was the first one outside the cellar.
[00:58:14]  And then I got there towards the end.
[00:58:17]  And it was just like, so I would just have these places.
[00:58:19]  So I had like 80, 100 places to go to, but I'm like, the only ones I got to go to is Machu Picchu.
[00:58:25]  Yeah.
[00:58:26]  And I flats.
[00:58:27]  And I want to, no, that was just on there.
[00:58:29]  Wow.
[00:58:29]  If I missed it, I missed it.
[00:58:30]  So I said, so if I'm going this way and then some shit happens here, you'll go.
[00:58:33]  I'm not like, well, I had plans.
[00:58:35]  I don't have plans.
[00:58:36]  If I got sick, I'll stay for another two days.
[00:58:38]  I don't have to take an overnight bus while I'm barfing.
[00:58:40]  Yo, this is so funny.
[00:58:41]  Were you?
[00:58:42]  Oh, wait.
[00:58:42]  So the only ones were Machu Picchu and what else?
[00:58:45]  I wanted to get Carnival in Brazil.
[00:58:48]  No, but really.
[00:58:49]  When I was ending, I was like, hey, I'm ending, and I'm in Brazil early February.
[00:58:52]  I'm like, oh, shit.
[00:58:53]  Let's do it.
[00:58:54]  Yeah, I'm going to stay for another couple weeks.
[00:58:55]  Yeah.
[00:58:56]  And like party out this great trip.
[00:58:59]  Yeah.
[00:58:59]  And like celebrate.
[00:59:01]  Yeah.
[00:59:03]  No, I did.
[00:59:04]  I did.
[00:59:04]  This is also very gay, but like I'm kind of hippie.
[00:59:08]  No.
[00:59:09]  So I did a solstice to solstice trip.
[00:59:12]  I went up to the tip top of Alaska for the summer solstice.
[00:59:16]  Yeah.
[00:59:16]  24 hours of sunlight.

=== Hair Growth Success (04:13) ===

[00:59:17]  Wow.
[00:59:19]  Saw a polar bear like way out, but like we saw it.
[00:59:23]  And the tour guy's like, all right, we're good.
[00:59:25]  It's like, hey, actually.
[00:59:26]  We got to get out of here.
[00:59:27]  And not quite, but he's like, don't wander.
[00:59:30]  Don't wander.
[00:59:30]  Just see what he does, but don't.
[00:59:32]  And then he was fine.
[00:59:33]  He didn't come in too hard, but but they're one of the few animals that hunt humans.
[00:59:37]  Yeah, they want they want humans.
[00:59:39]  Oh, really?
[00:59:39]  Yeah, you see the video of the polar bear trying to get into the photographer's thing.
[00:59:43]  It's insane.
[00:59:44]  He's in a glass case, and he's like, and that polar bear wants him bad.
[00:59:49]  It's supposed to be bear-proof and it's like creaking.
[00:59:51]  And you can see him being like, yeah, here it is.
[00:59:56]  Look at this.
[00:59:57]  This shit.
[00:59:58]  And you can smell him.
[00:59:59]  So he's like, yeah, that's a vending machine, bro.
[01:00:03]  That's terrifying.
[01:00:04]  Oh, he's licking it.
[01:00:05]  Oh, he full-on gets a pop in there.
[01:00:09]  He's so heavy.
[01:00:09]  And that's like a teenage polar bear.
[01:00:11]  That's not even full-blown.
[01:00:12]  Wow.
[01:00:12]  Yeah.
[01:00:12]  That is shaking.
[01:00:13]  It's so heavy.
[01:00:14]  Oh, that's hard.
[01:00:15]  Oh, my God.
[01:00:16]  Nah, I'm out.
[01:00:16]  Oh, my God.
[01:00:17]  It's all dudish.
[01:00:19]  Oh, look at that.
[01:00:19]  Why does he have a way all the way?
[01:00:22]  I know what your name might go, but yeah, you're right.
[01:00:25]  Okay, so you did.
[01:00:26]  You'll never have to color correct this kind of video.
[01:00:31]  You guys really feel good in it, though.
[01:00:34]  Your beautiful skin on the skin.
[01:00:36]  All right, guys, let's take a break for a second.
[01:00:39]  Okay.
[01:00:40]  Let me ask you something real quick.
[01:00:42]  How different do you feel when you actually look put together?
[01:00:47]  Yep.
[01:00:48]  Like, be honest, when your hair is right, your skin looks clean, you walk out the door, you just move different.
[01:00:53]  Most guys don't even realize it, but your whole confidence shifts when your routine is dialed in.
[01:00:59]  The problem is, most of the stuff we've been using forever is just whatever's on the shelf.
[01:01:05]  You're not even thinking about what's in it.
[01:01:09]  And that's why we've been using Base Body Works.
[01:01:14]  It's clean, plant-based, grooming products made for guys who actually care how they show up.
[01:01:21]  No weird chemicals, no nonsense, just stuff that works.
[01:01:24]  Their shower duo, peppermint, argon, oil.
[01:01:28]  You come out in the shower, feeling like come out of the shower, feeling like a new man.
[01:01:32]  Hair feels clean, hydrated, actually healthy.
[01:01:34]  Then the skincare, super simple, charcoal cleanser, moisturizer, done.
[01:01:39]  Your skin just looks sharper.
[01:01:41]  And the texture stuff, quick styling, no buildup.
[01:01:45]  Your hair just looks right without trying too hard.
[01:01:48]  And here's the thing I like: you actually trust what you're putting on your body every day.
[01:01:53]  It's not just about looking good, it's peace of mind too.
[01:01:56]  So if you're trying to upgrade how you feel, stepping into your day, go check out basebodyworks.com.
[01:02:02]  Use the code Flagrant for 20% off, and they'll throw in a free toiletry bag when you grab one of the sets because confidence should not come at the cost of your health.
[01:02:12]  All right, guys, you got places to be, and sitting in a waiting room for hair loss treatment isn't one of them.
[01:02:18]  I started doing the hair loss stuff two decades ago almost.
[01:02:23]  Okay, saved my life.
[01:02:25]  HIMS makes expert care accessible on your schedule so you can skip the line and focus on feeling like yourself again.
[01:02:35]  HIMS offers convenient access to a range of prescription hair loss treatments with ingredients that work, including chews, oral medication serums, and sprays, doctor-trusted ingredients like finaceride and monoxidil can stop further hair loss and regrow hair in as little as three to six months.
[01:02:49]  It stopped the hair loss with me.
[01:02:51]  I actually got hair growth back.
[01:02:55]  Sustained it.
[01:02:57]  You shouldn't have to go out of your way to feel like yourself.
[01:03:00]  HIMS brings expert care straight to you with 100% online access to personalized treatment plans that put your goals first.
[01:03:07]  No hidden fees, no surprise costs, just real personalized care on your schedule for simple online access to personalized and affordable care for hair loss and more.
[01:03:17]  Visit him.com/slash flagrant.
[01:03:19]  That's him.com/slash flagrant for your free online visit himself.com/slash flagrant.
[01:03:23]  Featured products include compounded drug products, which the FDA does not approve or verify for safety, effective visceral quality prescription required.

=== Raw Whale Meat Mukbang (02:11) ===

[01:03:30]  See website for full details, restrictions, and important safety information.
[01:03:34]  Individual results may vary based on studies of topical analog and oxidone finasteride.
[01:03:38]  Now, let's get back to the show.
[01:03:39]  There was a whale hunt celebration because, like, when they get one, they're like sick.
[01:03:43]  Where is this?
[01:03:44]  In Barrow.
[01:03:46]  Also, here's another one you face for shit.
[01:03:48]  It's called Barrow, Alaska.
[01:03:49]  They renamed it the indigenous name Ukvyagvik.
[01:03:52]  And everyone in Anchorage, very liberal, it's like you're like, because it's hard to pronounce.
[01:03:56]  So Ukaviak, you're trying to pronounce it.
[01:03:58]  It's not written easy to.
[01:04:00]  And then you just go, I'll just say Barrow.
[01:04:02]  They go, it's Ukvyagvik.
[01:04:03]  Have some fucking respect.
[01:04:04]  Okay, sorry.
[01:04:06]  And then you get up there and there's this little tour of this nothing town.
[01:04:09]  And the guy goes, Welcome to, I'm not going to do the indigenous accent, but like he did the Chinese.
[01:04:15]  Welcome to Ukvyagvik.
[01:04:19]  You can also call it Barrow.
[01:04:21]  People call it Ukviak.
[01:04:22]  We call it Barrow because that's what we grew up with, but you're welcome to call it whatever you want.
[01:04:26]  So they don't even know what.
[01:04:27]  Is it the same with Mel McKinley?
[01:04:29]  It's probably the same thing, right?
[01:04:30]  And like they grew up in a town.
[01:04:31]  Like, we're not renaming it.
[01:04:32]  You guys are renaming it for us.
[01:04:34]  Thanks for protecting us, whites of Anchorage.
[01:04:37]  Yesterday we were there for, yeah, I was at that whale, that, that, uh, yeah.
[01:04:41]  Oh, wow.
[01:04:41]  Yeah, I took a polar bear plunge or whatever it's called.
[01:04:44]  That's yeah, so they start throwing everybody up on a on a blanket to celebrate whale skin or whatever.
[01:04:51]  Yeah.
[01:04:51]  Give out pieces of blubber.
[01:04:52]  Did you eat it?
[01:04:53]  The yeah.
[01:04:54]  It's called um yeah, I tried it.
[01:04:57]  Fuck, I follow this guy.
[01:04:59]  You watch all these videos.
[01:05:01]  No, that's mukbang.
[01:05:02]  Mukbang.
[01:05:03]  Yeah.
[01:05:04]  Also delicious.
[01:05:05]  Was it good?
[01:05:06]  Muktuk, mukbuku.
[01:05:07]  Smu muktuk.
[01:05:08]  Muktuk.
[01:05:09]  Was it good?
[01:05:09]  No.
[01:05:10]  Did they do soy sauce?
[01:05:12]  Yeah, I got warned.
[01:05:13]  Yeah, I got warned you should put it in mustard or soy sauce.
[01:05:16]  It was just raw sauce that they draw.
[01:05:17]  And they cut it with that little curvy knife.
[01:05:19]  Gives you every nutrient you need.
[01:05:21]  Because like how do these people survive with no greens?
[01:05:23]  And it turns out that's got everything in it.
[01:05:26]  Have you seen the glasses that they wear?
[01:05:28]  Oh, yeah, they're sick.
[01:05:29]  No, they're tiny little sinlets.
[01:05:32]  But yeah, but they celebrate a successful whale hunt and then everyone's out.
[01:05:35]  And then eventually they go, they're doing the captain does it.
[01:05:37]  The captain's wives do it.
[01:05:39]  They throw out candy like a bar mitzvah.
[01:05:41]  Wow.
[01:05:41]  They jump up and they throw out candy.

=== Sex Tourism Dangers (03:36) ===

[01:05:42]  And then eventually, like, tourists, I'm like, okay.
[01:05:45]  And you go up there and it's, I was like, they're like, ready?
[01:05:48]  I'm like, keep your feet together.
[01:05:49]  And I'm like, and then I just collapsed.
[01:05:51]  I'm like, I can't do it.
[01:05:53]  But yeah, so I was there for solstice.
[01:05:55]  So you did the and then I was there for solstice.
[01:05:57]  Wow.
[01:05:57]  And where was the southern one?
[01:06:00]  Ushuaia is the southernmost city, but there's another town in Chile called Puerto Williams.
[01:06:05]  Okay.
[01:06:06]  Who is trying to uproot Ushuaia as the southernmost city?
[01:06:09]  Because they're like, well, it's this main city of this state.
[01:06:13]  And they'd be like, if you don't have 50,000, it's not a city.
[01:06:15]  Now they have all these plans to get to 50,000 to uproot Ushuaia as the southernmost city and kill their tourism.
[01:06:23]  Yeah, they're building all the everywhere.
[01:06:25]  Capitalism wins.
[01:06:27]  You're down there and what is their solstice celebration?
[01:06:30]  It's not 24 hours of sunlight.
[01:06:32]  It's like the level of Scotland, but to the south.
[01:06:35]  Oh.
[01:06:36]  Yeah.
[01:06:36]  Okay.
[01:06:36]  Like Edinburgh.
[01:06:37]  So it's like, it's not nearly as far.
[01:06:39]  But it's penguins, which is cool.
[01:06:41]  Fire.
[01:06:41]  Yeah.
[01:06:42]  They would just have babies, so you would see all these like baby penguins.
[01:06:45]  But like fun party vibes, like an exciting moment or no, just really just bought party vibes, not for that.
[01:06:51]  What was the most dangerous thing that happened throughout the whole trip?
[01:06:57]  I bought weed from the wrong guy in Medellin.
[01:06:59]  Uh-oh.
[01:06:59]  And he fucking kind of ruined my trip for a couple weeks.
[01:07:03]  Why?
[01:07:03]  It just comes.
[01:07:04]  Columbia is getting kind of bad again.
[01:07:06]  It's getting bad again.
[01:07:07]  Yeah.
[01:07:07]  Bro, I kind of felt that, man.
[01:07:09]  Yeah, yeah.
[01:07:10]  Last time I went, yep.
[01:07:11]  Yeah, and it was like.
[01:07:12]  How long ago was this?
[01:07:14]  Just four years ago.
[01:07:15]  Yeah.
[01:07:16]  I went a couple, and it was, we weren't in Medellin.
[01:07:19]  Where would we go?
[01:07:21]  Cartagena.
[01:07:21]  Cartagena.
[01:07:23]  And it was, we were like in this like old city area.
[01:07:27]  And I know people got to make money, et cetera.
[01:07:30]  But it felt like the second we walked out of the house, there were like guys coming up and like rapping for us for money.
[01:07:34]  And then somebody's trying to sell you.
[01:07:36]  And it was one of those things where you're, it's like, these guys got to eat.
[01:07:40]  I totally fucking get it.
[01:07:41]  But I wonder if you're the government, if you have a way of explaining, hey, if we can make this a tourist trap for Americans and Europeans to come here, there's going to be so many more jobs that you guys are going to make so much more fucking money.
[01:07:53]  Yeah.
[01:07:54]  But it's also selective.
[01:07:55]  That everyone gets cut in on us, which is the problem.
[01:07:57]  So the gang members look sick as people are.
[01:07:59]  It creates a ton of inequality, but also that type of tourism, like sex tourism, which is like a huge part of it.
[01:08:03]  Yeah.
[01:08:04]  Like, you know, that's, yeah, you're right.
[01:08:07]  And Media and it said all the real deep crime was you're buying drugs or you're buying women.
[01:08:12]  Yeah.
[01:08:12]  Did you go to the women?
[01:08:13]  If you're just tourism, they leave.
[01:08:14]  They're probably doing both.
[01:08:17]  That is the problem when it, yeah, when it becomes sex tourism.
[01:08:20]  Like there is this, and I don't know if it's changing, but like Costa Rica did a really good thing where like they built their tourism community around daytime activities.
[01:08:29]  They're like, hey, we do not want people to go.
[01:08:31]  Hey, at night, it's boring here.
[01:08:33]  Don't come hang out.
[01:08:34]  It's horrible.
[01:08:35]  Just go to sleep.
[01:08:36]  They really try.
[01:08:37]  And then when you don't have shit to do at night, there's not as much of a need for Coke.
[01:08:41]  And when there's no need for Coke, you don't have a cartel.
[01:08:44]  And when there's no cartel, it's safe for business.
[01:08:46]  Right.
[01:08:47]  And doesn't Costa Rica have like that red light district area?
[01:08:50]  I'm sure they have a version of prostitution.
[01:08:51]  They'll probably do it in a certain area.
[01:08:53]  Figure it out.
[01:08:54]  Amsterdam hasn't crime with it.
[01:08:55]  They figured it out.
[01:08:56]  And it might be getting worse, but like it is a thing.
[01:08:59]  If you build your economy around sex tourism, you're going to bring like the most the Colombians I met, I met a Colombian in the north and we were talking about it.
[01:09:06]  Every fourth person at this hostel either got robbed or had a friend get robbed in daylight sometimes and she goes, it's going back.
[01:09:13]  All that come is, we can feel it.
[01:09:14]  It got safe and we can all feel it going back to the 80s.
[01:09:17]  Yeah.
[01:09:17]  Yeah.
[01:09:17]  Ooh, fuck.

=== Cartel Free Zones (15:14) ===

[01:09:19]  That was a dude of mine.
[01:09:20]  He met a girl off Tinder and then it was like a setup.
[01:09:23]  Like she drugged them and then took all this shit.
[01:09:25]  Wow.
[01:09:25]  So what all the Airbnbs in Colombia and Brazil too actually are like, we need to see the passports of everyone who's going to be here.
[01:09:33]  They're like, you're not bringing hookers to our place.
[01:09:35]  Oh, really?
[01:09:36]  Yeah.
[01:09:36]  Yeah, it just brings crime.
[01:09:38]  Yeah.
[01:09:38]  Like either the hooker.
[01:09:39]  You're going to wake up the move and they're like, and like, and as they're robbing you, and you're like, that's the thing.
[01:09:44]  And when he comes through and he wants to get an extra thing, the guy's being predatory with the woman not paying.
[01:09:50]  Like, it just is a headache.
[01:09:51]  Yeah.
[01:09:52]  Yeah, it's a bummer because Columbia is cool as hell.
[01:09:55]  So cool.
[01:09:55]  And the people are just in the world.
[01:09:56]  Yeah, the people who are the best in the world.
[01:09:58]  But yeah, I just think it creates like rot.
[01:09:59]  Yeah.
[01:10:00]  Any spiritual stuff, like any ayahuasca.
[01:10:03]  I had the best mushroom ship of my life.
[01:10:05]  Okay.
[01:10:07]  It was.
[01:10:08]  And where?
[01:10:09]  I'll tell you all this off air.
[01:10:11]  That's the place I don't want to ruin.
[01:10:13]  Okay.
[01:10:14]  Can you describe it without saying it?
[01:10:17]  Okay, I'll tell you.
[01:10:19]  I got so the end, the show, the end, and I was bogged down with everything.
[01:10:22]  And I had these this by the way, real quick, because I know Ari will not plug, so I will do it for him.
[01:10:29]  I'll get plugs.
[01:10:32]  Ari's bringing back his infamous storytelling show, The End.
[01:10:36]  He's going direct to consumer.
[01:10:38]  He's got the biggest names in stand-up comedy that are all doing stories on it.
[01:10:42]  And it's available for pre-sale right now.
[01:10:44]  So you can buy it at RESTeVere.com.
[01:10:46]  By RShava.com or the end.ymhstudios.com.
[01:10:49]  And at ymhstudios.com.
[01:10:51]  It's fucking unbelievable.
[01:10:52]  Some names.
[01:10:52]  Shane, Nate Bargazzi, Hinchcliffe, Hinch Cliff, Stefano, Norman, Robert Kelly, Sam Talent.
[01:10:59]  You were invited and refused.
[01:11:03]  He talked about this already.
[01:11:05]  You know what I just said?
[01:11:05]  Yes.
[01:11:06]  I literally am watching you guys edit it here and I'm like, oh, I should have fucking does.
[01:11:11]  I literally just filmed the special and you called me and asked and I was like, I want to do it.
[01:11:15]  And then I thought, I have so much respect for the show because this is, you know, the show.
[01:11:21]  Okay.
[01:11:21]  The history of the show, obviously, which I love to talk about once we finish going over your travels.
[01:11:27]  But, like, I was like, I want to have a really good story.
[01:11:30]  Well, you're honoring it.
[01:11:31]  So, like, I'm not doing a half-assed job on this.
[01:11:32]  No, because you can, one, everybody's bringing their fucking, it's Saturday Night the Cellar.
[01:11:38]  You know, you're not just going, hey, this is my whatever joke.
[01:11:40]  You're bringing your fucking A game.
[01:11:42]  This is your best story.
[01:11:43]  And I'd spent two years telling like the most important story of my life.
[01:11:46]  And I'm literally going, well, what can I tell?
[01:11:48]  Yeah, right.
[01:11:49]  You don't want to be like that.
[01:11:50]  Yeah.
[01:11:50]  And I didn't want to go, I'm going to, I'm going to, I'm going to do a story that's not coming to me just to make it funny for this thing.
[01:11:57]  Anyway, huge regret.
[01:11:59]  I wish I was part of it.
[01:11:59]  I mean, yeah, but you got to do it.
[01:12:01]  But I mean, some guys were doing, like, like Segura went up to Sam Talent afterwards.
[01:12:05]  He goes, that was amazing, dude.
[01:12:07]  I'm watching Roy Wood now in the editing, and I'm like, I'm a weak comic compared to him.
[01:12:11]  He's just like, and then some of the greats from This Not Happening, Miss Pat, Ali, Jay, like Legends of the Show came back.
[01:12:18]  It was just like.
[01:12:19]  Anyway, it's a whole season, by the way.
[01:12:20]  It's not just one drop.
[01:12:22]  Seven one-hour episodes.
[01:12:24]  Wow.
[01:12:24]  That's awesome.
[01:12:25]  Plus, a prologue that I don't want to mention is going to, you would, you love that.
[01:12:30]  And that's free also.
[01:12:31]  Anyway, this is awesome.
[01:12:33]  What?
[01:12:34]  Say, say, what?
[01:12:35]  You said Bargati?
[01:12:35]  Bargazi came.
[01:12:36]  Oh, no, I know.
[01:12:37]  Yeah.
[01:12:38]  But anyway, I just think it's really awesome that you're doing it.
[01:12:40]  You're also doing it on your own terms.
[01:12:41]  And, like, the story about you starting the show, it being taken away from you unfairly, I think very unfairly.
[01:12:49]  And then you...
[01:12:51]  Yeah.
[01:12:52]  I think so.
[01:12:52]  Yeah.
[01:12:53]  There's enough time.
[01:12:54]  It's like, it's like when your chick in 11th grade cheats on you.
[01:12:57]  And now you're married with kids.
[01:12:59]  You're like, I mean, it was wrong to do that, but I'm not still angry.
[01:13:02]  No, no, no.
[01:13:03]  I don't think you have resentment or anything like that.
[01:13:05]  I'm going to talk about the story because I don't know what happened.
[01:13:07]  Oh, yeah.
[01:13:08]  And then maybe we can go back to some of the travels because I still have questions about that.
[01:13:11]  But it's worth talking about this.
[01:13:12]  Okay, let's just start about the inception of the show.
[01:13:15]  Inception of the show was me and Eric Abrams, the director of all my stuff.
[01:13:19]  Yeah.
[01:13:20]  I was at his house in Thanksgiving, and I think I forget how long ago, how many years?
[01:13:25]  This was 2009.
[01:13:27]  Yeah.
[01:13:28]  I was telling him a mushroom story, and then he was telling me a mushroom story.
[01:13:33]  And then I think it was me first, him saying, it doesn't matter.
[01:13:35]  And then I was talking about a Nick Croll mushroom story that I heard through Renazisi.
[01:13:40]  And then I was like, you know, dude, and he was the assistant booker to Joel, who ran the Florida improv.
[01:13:46]  He'd taken over the main improv.
[01:13:48]  Okay.
[01:13:48]  And I was doing nothing in my career.
[01:13:50]  I mean, it wasn't like I was, I hadn't even had a chance.
[01:13:52]  We're just comedy store guys.
[01:13:53]  And comedy store was not what it is now.
[01:13:56]  It was agents wouldn't go there.
[01:13:58]  It was a failure place, which looking back was such a gift for us so we could develop on our own.
[01:14:04]  Yeah.
[01:14:05]  I mean, Bobby Lee was a most successful guy because he was making five grand a week.
[01:14:10]  You got me my first spot at the comedy store.
[01:14:12]  Did you know that?
[01:14:12]  I remember meeting at the hole.
[01:14:14]  No, at the potluck.
[01:14:15]  I was like, hey, man, I'm coming in.
[01:14:16]  And I don't know if there's a way to get up.
[01:14:18]  You're like, yeah, I'm going to talk to them.
[01:14:20]  And you got me up at the potluck legend.
[01:14:24]  So when anybody says, like, I met you at the comedy store once, I'm like, this could go one of two.
[01:14:28]  No, I didn't teach you that way.
[01:14:30]  That the hole, I thought.
[01:14:31]  The hole, yeah.
[01:14:31]  But I just messaged you.
[01:14:33]  It was so different at the hole.
[01:14:34]  You were like still finding yourself.
[01:14:36]  Of course.
[01:14:36]  Yeah.
[01:14:36]  And so it was like you were a phony.
[01:14:39]  You were this tough guy, Brooklyn.
[01:14:41]  Yeah.
[01:14:41]  I'm like, you were too cool.
[01:14:44]  Rep Manhattan, by the way.
[01:14:45]  Fuck New York.
[01:14:46]  Rep Manhattan.
[01:14:47]  Absolutely.
[01:14:48]  Number one, bro.
[01:14:49]  And I've never had anybody correct him.
[01:14:53]  Brooklyn is way cooler than me.
[01:14:55]  I started.
[01:14:56]  People are like, where are you from?
[01:14:57]  I'm from Manhattan.
[01:14:58]  That's where I live.
[01:14:59]  Yes.
[01:14:59]  But you're 100% right.
[01:15:01]  I think he died a long time ago.
[01:15:02]  I'm from Manhattan.
[01:15:03]  Fuck Brooklyn.
[01:15:09]  No, but you're right.
[01:15:09]  I was like really trying to figure out what I was on stage.
[01:15:12]  We were all at some point in college or whatever.
[01:15:14]  We're like, maybe I'll try a guy.
[01:15:17]  24, 25, maybe something like that.
[01:15:19]  We were young.
[01:15:21]  Wow.
[01:15:21]  Okay, go on.
[01:15:22]  Go on.
[01:15:23]  So I was doing nothing.
[01:15:24]  And he was an assistant to a booker.
[01:15:26]  And I was like, hey, dude, you have a side room that's not built up at the, at the, it was kind of like the old Fat Black when Big J was hosting the fucking karaoke night.
[01:15:36]  Yeah.
[01:15:36]  They weren't really doing shows there.
[01:15:37]  Yeah.
[01:15:38]  And imagine then if I was like, hey, can I do it?
[01:15:39]  So I was like, can we do a show of mushroom stories?
[01:15:43]  Like, you're not, the place is dark most days.
[01:15:46]  Yeah.
[01:15:47]  And he goes, yeah, let's do that.
[01:15:49]  Let me ask.
[01:15:50]  And then it was like, okay.
[01:15:51]  And we were like, let's change it to just psychedelic drug stories in general.
[01:15:54]  Yeah.
[01:15:55]  The lineup was a couple, one guy, I forget his name.
[01:15:59]  Me and Pete Carboni told a story about our own mushroom trip.
[01:16:02]  Okay.
[01:16:02]  This guy, Dan Medonia, Steve Agee, who's like a good actor and writer, Mark Maron, and Joey Diaz.
[01:16:09]  Wow.
[01:16:10]  And 14 people were there.
[01:16:13]  I mean, we could not get an audience.
[01:16:15]  We didn't have any way.
[01:16:18]  I didn't know anybody.
[01:16:19]  What room is this again?
[01:16:20]  The side room with the event.
[01:16:21]  They have now since built it up.
[01:16:22]  This is in Florida?
[01:16:24]  No, no.
[01:16:24]  Joel from Florida had taken over all the improv.
[01:16:27]  Got it.
[01:16:27]  So in the LA improv, there was a side room.
[01:16:29]  Yeah.
[01:16:30]  Got it.
[01:16:30]  And Eric was the assistant booker.
[01:16:31]  So we're like, okay.
[01:16:32]  And you couldn't drink in there.
[01:16:34]  There was no bar.
[01:16:34]  You couldn't even bring your booze in from the other place.
[01:16:37]  Yeah, yeah.
[01:16:37]  But I mean, it was a magical, I was like, I would do my story, then I'd bring somebody up and I'd sit there and watch on the floor.
[01:16:44]  And it was just like, it was so cool watching these guys tell real stories.
[01:16:49]  Joey Diaz going to like Led Zeppelin, I think, in like the 80s on Quailudes.
[01:16:55]  You know, Mark Marin getting like too much drugs on a Grateful Dead concert and thinking he's chewing gummy.
[01:17:00]  He thinks he's got a bloody mouth.
[01:17:03]  Just like so, it was just like, it was just like all 14 people were like, that was amazing.
[01:17:09]  Yeah.
[01:17:09]  It was so real.
[01:17:10]  And we were like, let's do another one.
[01:17:13]  And so we started changing topics every week.
[01:17:16]  And then it, it like, it built up.
[01:17:19]  Yeah.
[01:17:20]  Anyone who came, 18 people the next time, 20 people.
[01:17:22]  And then eventually comics wanted to do it.
[01:17:24]  Eventually the improv got mad at me.
[01:17:26]  They're like, well, you had Bill Bird, Jim Jeffries, and Burt Kreischer in the side room.
[01:17:31]  Yeah.
[01:17:31]  And I was like, I don't know.
[01:17:32]  That's the room you gave me.
[01:17:33]  What are you going to not book a good show?
[01:17:35]  And then they moved me to the main room.
[01:17:37]  And then we did it at Montreal, the Comedy Festival.
[01:17:40]  Oh, wow.
[01:17:41]  Listen, I don't care, but I've never really gotten respected in this business.
[01:17:45]  So they're like, you can do the midnight show.
[01:17:47]  I'm like, you don't have midnight shows.
[01:17:49]  And they're like, well, we don't really have space for you.
[01:17:51]  You get respect now.
[01:17:52]  I think there was a time where you were maybe overlooked.
[01:17:55]  Yeah.
[01:17:55]  I think all comics go through that.
[01:17:57]  But I would say that you're a respected comedian now.
[01:17:59]  Depends by who.
[01:18:00]  Yeah.
[01:18:01]  I think comics respect me.
[01:18:03]  I think, I definitely think that like Jew changed a lot of things.
[01:18:08]  Now they hate you even more for.
[01:18:13]  But you guys imagine we do like, we do like hooker stories and trouble with the law stories, roommate stories and whatever.
[01:18:19]  Everyone had them.
[01:18:21]  I remember the hooker stories one.
[01:18:22]  It was like got uncomfortable for the crowd and Eddie Pepetone kept like starting a story and then be like, why this topic, Ari!
[01:18:28]  We're losing everybody.
[01:18:29]  And then back to the fucking chick in the back of the truck.
[01:18:33]  And then we did it in Montreal and became the cool hangout.
[01:18:36]  The midnight show at that tranny strip club became the cool hangout.
[01:18:39]  Yeah.
[01:18:39]  What's the name of the strip club?
[01:18:40]  Cleopatra.
[01:18:41]  Cleopatra.
[01:18:42]  Yeah.
[01:18:43]  And we did like four days in a row and everybody, Russell Peters, I saw him at a UFC.
[01:18:46]  I was like, you want to do my show?
[01:18:47]  And he was like, okay.
[01:18:48]  I'm like, I'm trying to fill up.
[01:18:49]  It's like 80.
[01:18:50]  And he was just like, bro, I'm Russell Peters and it's Canada.
[01:18:53]  Yeah, it's going to be fun.
[01:18:54]  It'll fill up.
[01:18:55]  And I didn't realize what a favor he was doing.
[01:18:57]  Yeah.
[01:18:58]  It just became the coolest hangout.
[01:18:59]  And we'd all drink there.
[01:19:00]  And then, like, yeah, eventually Comedy Central was like, let's, let's film some of these.
[01:19:06]  It's crazy to hear you had a hard time in the industry because I had a theory that you guys ran it.
[01:19:13]  Here's the problem.
[01:19:14]  There's too many of us.
[01:19:16]  We don't all get our piece.
[01:19:21]  You know what's dope about the star?
[01:19:22]  I like the theory.
[01:19:23]  They are niggas awesome.
[01:19:27]  Yeah, we started doing a TV.
[01:19:29]  It really exposed people.
[01:19:30]  And I love YouTube too.
[01:19:33]  Giving people like a break.
[01:19:35]  You got to help people, man.
[01:19:36]  Yeah.
[01:19:36]  So then it's on Comedy Central and then how does it get sold?
[01:19:39]  First on YouTube.
[01:19:40]  And then they came in.
[01:19:41]  Whatever the executive was on this side, YouTube Comedy Central was like, we want to keep these stories about two minutes.
[01:19:45]  And we're like, actually, we're going like 20.
[01:19:49]  She's like, no.
[01:19:50]  I'm like, this isn't a puppy video.
[01:19:51]  Is it this is not happening yet?
[01:19:53]  Yeah.
[01:19:53]  So we renamed it.
[01:19:54]  This is not happening.
[01:19:55]  Actually, Steve AG was like, hey, you need a name for this.
[01:19:56]  You can't just call it Ari's storytelling show.
[01:19:58]  If you want to keep doing these, you should brand it.
[01:20:00]  Yeah.
[01:20:00]  I don't know anything about that.
[01:20:01]  Yeah.
[01:20:02]  Yeah.
[01:20:02]  This is not happening was a takeoff of some like painting.
[01:20:05]  Like, this is not a pipe.
[01:20:07]  Oh, yeah, yeah.
[01:20:09]  Yeah.
[01:20:09]  Yeah.
[01:20:09]  Look at the, it's like, it's about like stuff existing.
[01:20:23]  That is not a pipe.
[01:20:24]  It's paint on a cannabis.
[01:20:25]  And these stories aren't actually happening now.
[01:20:27]  They're a rendition of what happened.
[01:20:28]  Something happened.
[01:20:29]  Yeah.
[01:20:29]  Yeah, whatever.
[01:20:29]  It's goofy.
[01:20:30]  But like, yeah.
[01:20:32]  And then, and there's it caught on.
[01:20:34]  I remember Ralphie doing a story at the improv going, I haven't been nervous on stage in a long time.
[01:20:38]  So this is the thing about the story that I think makes it so special.
[01:20:41]  It's like when the goal is the story, laughs are a bonus.
[01:20:44]  Yeah.
[01:20:45]  With stand-up, laughs are mandatory, right?
[01:20:49]  But then I was very clear.
[01:20:50]  I don't want to go like the moth.
[01:20:51]  Moth is great.
[01:20:52]  Yeah.
[01:20:53]  They have to be funny stories.
[01:20:54]  Yeah.
[01:20:54]  Moth always ends with, and that's not just the day I lost my watch.
[01:20:57]  That's a day I lost my watch.
[01:20:58]  Mike Innocence.
[01:20:59]  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
[01:21:00]  All right, bro.
[01:21:01]  Also, some fire stories.
[01:21:02]  Yeah, I like the fire stories.
[01:21:05]  Mike DiStefano.
[01:21:06]  Mike DiStefano.
[01:21:07]  Mike DiStefano is like a legendary New York comedian.
[01:21:10]  A lot of us just looked up to him growing up.
[01:21:12]  He passed, but he has a moth that will fucking make you cry, laugh, the whole thing.
[01:21:17]  Anyway, but the goal of it, and I think it changes the perception of the audience because you're immediately going, hey, this is a thing that's really interesting to happen.
[01:21:24]  Funny shit happens along the way, but I'm on board because the ends might be something crazy that I could never expect.
[01:21:30]  And then it's almost like in the way that like Sopranos is funny, even though it's not a comedy, and the laughs hit you harder.
[01:21:37]  Because I'm not asking you a laugh.
[01:21:39]  You're gonna because this is what we do.
[01:21:40]  Also, we're comics, we don't know how to not be jokes in inopportune moments.
[01:21:45]  We can't help it.
[01:21:47]  So then Reap mentioned it once.
[01:21:48]  He did the show and he was like, he was like, after like 30 seconds, no laughs.
[01:21:51]  I'm not used to it.
[01:21:51]  I'm like, I better make a funny face or something.
[01:21:55]  Yeah, Ralphie's story is about playing basketball in like ninth grade and Corliss Williamson was on another team and getting dunked on nuts in the face by a ninth grade Corliss Williamson.
[01:22:04]  I love it.
[01:22:05]  I love it.
[01:22:07]  But like, yeah, we saw some amazing moments.
[01:22:09]  And like clean comics, you could be like, this isn't recorded.
[01:22:13]  I'm going to tell you something like, like really dark.
[01:22:17]  And like, this is great.
[01:22:19]  Watching people who had characters drop their character.
[01:22:23]  I loved watching them.
[01:22:25]  Didn't Keratov do one?
[01:22:26]  Keratop did one after.
[01:22:27]  Oh, that was after.
[01:22:28]  Okay, yeah.
[01:22:29]  But also, I'd be interested to see what he was going to do.
[01:22:32]  Every time you bring someone out of genre, it's kind of fun.
[01:22:34]  Yeah.
[01:22:35]  Yeah.
[01:22:36]  Okay.
[01:22:36]  So you guys are doing it.
[01:22:37]  We did it in Edinburgh.
[01:22:40]  This guy called the Pub Landlord.
[01:22:41]  He had a character who was like the manager of a pub.
[01:22:44]  He was like, I'll tell you a real story.
[01:22:46]  And people are like, I've never seen you.
[01:22:47]  Yeah.
[01:22:48]  And he's also like, I'm nervous to do this.
[01:22:50]  Yeah.
[01:22:52]  They're just fun.
[01:22:53]  And it made me a way better comic to have to prep a new story.
[01:22:56]  Because listen, I'm going first.
[01:22:58]  And you got to set the tone.
[01:22:59]  I got to set the tone.
[01:23:00]  I'm trying to bury all of you.
[01:23:02]  Yeah.
[01:23:02]  And it's hard.
[01:23:04]  And I'd have to sit there.
[01:23:05]  I got an office one time.
[01:23:06]  I'm like, I got to start writing out the details of these stories.
[01:23:10]  Did you keep having to do like psychedelic trips to crazy?
[01:23:14]  No, we changed topics.
[01:23:15]  So it'd be like job stories.
[01:23:17]  I'm like, what bad job have I had?
[01:23:18]  I know there must be, everyone has them.
[01:23:21]  You just got to like, You know, Big Jay's the best.
[01:23:24]  Big J can take something that is not of note and make it a really good story.
[01:23:30]  He's a great story.
[01:23:30]  He's like the best.
[01:23:31]  It's interesting because I always knew Jay as a storyteller.
[01:23:35]  And I think a lot of people know him more now, maybe from crowd work.
[01:23:38]  Yeah.
[01:23:39]  But when I was coming up, he was just this magnificent storyteller.
[01:23:43]  And he could always do stuff off the fly.
[01:23:46]  He was always so witty.
[01:23:47]  But that's kind of where people were sitting in the back of the room watching.
[01:23:50]  You know, late night at the cellar or whatever.
[01:23:53]  Like back when the cellar wasn't packed.
[01:23:54]  And you're like Sunday night shows on the road.
[01:23:56]  Yeah.
[01:23:56]  You're like, all right, it's half full.
[01:23:58]  Like, yeah.
[01:23:58]  Texture was getting dropped.
[01:24:00]  We're like, all right, let me tell you about a time I did this.
[01:24:03]  Yeah.
[01:24:03]  But also, comics all have it.
[01:24:05]  I was on the road with Rogan once a long time ago.
[01:24:08]  Went to a strip club.
[01:24:09]  Yeah, long time ago.
[01:24:10]  Did some, yeah, long time ago.
[01:24:12]  Some like dumb stuff.
[01:24:14]  Not real.
[01:24:15]  We saw some chick just giving out hand jobs.
[01:24:17]  Like it was our first week and didn't know she didn't have to.
[01:24:19]  Just like in the room, you know.
[01:24:21]  And I'm like a young, just formally religious Jewish.
[01:24:24]  I'm like, what the fuck?
[01:24:25]  And then my friend Tate's like, go take her into the other room.
[01:24:27]  And I'm like, and then how do you do it?
[01:24:28]  He's like, just take her hand and fucking spit on it and put it on your dick.
[01:24:32]  I'm like, no way.

=== Late Night Comedy Clubs (12:37) ===

[01:24:33]  That won't work.
[01:24:34]  It was, bro.
[01:24:35]  I've just seen her give out three hands.
[01:24:38]  Don't just treat her like a lady.
[01:24:40]  And I'm okay.
[01:24:41]  And then, and then, so we talked about this the next day and I think like West Palm or something, some Florida place.
[01:24:47]  And we were talking about this.
[01:24:48]  It's like, all right, come on stage.
[01:24:49]  We're going to tell this story.
[01:24:50]  You guys told the told this story of me not realizing and taking her hand and licking it and putting in my dick and then hearing Takeo spit on, not licked.
[01:25:01]  I'm like, oh, so like, you lick so many dicks.
[01:25:08]  He was watching.
[01:25:09]  He was like the semi-private room watching.
[01:25:12]  She jumped off three dicks.
[01:25:14]  Minimal taste.
[01:25:16]  We didn't get to the beginning of her shit.
[01:25:17]  She's back at the Bolivian Salt Flex.
[01:25:19]  Burying my hand.
[01:25:22]  Bro.
[01:25:23]  Okay.
[01:25:24]  So these are like fun stuff.
[01:25:25]  Comics have.
[01:25:26]  We live crazy too.
[01:25:27]  We do stuff.
[01:25:28]  We're like, yeah, let's do Coke and go out.
[01:25:30]  Yeah.
[01:25:30]  We do stuff.
[01:25:31]  Like, so it's like, tell these stories.
[01:25:33]  And they're so fun.
[01:25:35]  I love watching it.
[01:25:36]  Yes.
[01:25:37]  We did it on TV for a while.
[01:25:38]  And then eventually, I don't know.
[01:25:40]  Can we go into that?
[01:25:42]  Like, not to harp on it as a negative thing, but just to understand why we got here.
[01:25:45]  So I had a long time ago, an act teacher told me this.
[01:25:48]  Like, if you're acting from a place, if you're telling about this horrible car accident, but the end result is you're telling how the nurse that took care of you became your wife.
[01:25:56]  Yeah.
[01:25:56]  And that, then you don't say it, you don't bemoan it.
[01:25:59]  You go like, all my bones are broken.
[01:26:00]  Yeah, yeah.
[01:26:01]  Because you know where it's going.
[01:26:01]  You get a wife.
[01:26:02]  Yeah.
[01:26:03]  And then, like, I didn't think I wanted to live.
[01:26:04]  I want to commit suicide.
[01:26:05]  Whatever.
[01:26:05]  Yeah.
[01:26:06]  Because you know where it's going.
[01:26:07]  Yeah.
[01:26:07]  Yeah.
[01:26:07]  So at this point, like, I made my own show.
[01:26:10]  So I'm fine.
[01:26:11]  And it's wildly successful and it's very unique in that for years, Comedy Central and just any comedy platform has been trying to find a way to put on new talent.
[01:26:21]  And every different iteration of the show kind of doesn't really work.
[01:26:25]  There's always a version where they go, what if a comedian tells a joke, but we act out the sketch of the joke at the same time?
[01:26:30]  And they always try it.
[01:26:31]  It doesn't work.
[01:26:31]  There's like a here's the new talent.
[01:26:33]  There was a thing called Premium Blend when we were younger, which was a huge deal to get.
[01:26:36]  Never got it.
[01:26:37]  Doesn't really do mean either, but it doesn't really do anything.
[01:26:40]  You know, bro.
[01:26:40]  I wanted it so bad.
[01:26:42]  I wanted it so bad.
[01:26:44]  Even the Comedy Central half hours, like that was like the creep.
[01:26:47]  It was that in HBO specials who were like the cream of the crop when we were going.
[01:26:50]  And like sometimes they did, sometimes they didn't.
[01:26:52]  So there wasn't like a real way to like garner interest for young comedians.
[01:26:56]  A late night appearance was really big before our generation.
[01:26:59]  But once you hit ours, it didn't really launching thing.
[01:27:01]  It was just something to do.
[01:27:03]  And then you guys organically created the show where stories, not even from the big guys, the big guys are going to do well because they have a draw.
[01:27:12]  But from people that you didn't know, would fucking blow up.
[01:27:17]  So it's talking about millions of views.
[01:27:19]  So there's two, there's two ones that really drive this home.
[01:27:22]  So, Comedy Central didn't understand what the internet was.
[01:27:24]  Right.
[01:27:24]  They just didn't understand it.
[01:27:25]  It's fine, whatever.
[01:27:26]  Oh, for the people at home.
[01:27:30]  Comedy Central was a network on television.
[01:27:34]  It came actually with every cable.
[01:27:36]  Oh, cable.
[01:27:37]  Okay.
[01:27:40]  And they had a lot.
[01:27:41]  They made South Park, The Daily Show.
[01:27:42]  These were all this brand, Comedy Central.
[01:27:44]  And they were the only place to do comedy.
[01:27:46]  HBO would put a special every three months, and it was always old-timers.
[01:27:50]  Yeah.
[01:27:53]  It was your only way through as a comic when you really think about it.
[01:27:56]  Yeah, it was your only way through the special was just from Comedy Central.
[01:27:58]  It was huge.
[01:27:59]  Is this, you know?
[01:28:00]  And it wouldn't necessarily translate.
[01:28:02]  Some would, some wouldn't, but that was like the only way through.
[01:28:04]  And we'd all kind of wait around.
[01:28:05]  They did maybe one.
[01:28:06]  Hoping to call on you.
[01:28:07]  That's it.
[01:28:07]  Yeah.
[01:28:08]  So, so they didn't understand the internet.
[01:28:10]  And I remember there was one season early on where they were really trying to get Rob Cordry.
[01:28:14]  He's a bald guy from General Children's Hospital.
[01:28:17]  Is that him?
[01:28:18]  Am I thinking of the right guy?
[01:28:19]  Oh, yeah.
[01:28:19]  Okay.
[01:28:21]  And they were excited.
[01:28:22]  He did a good story.
[01:28:23]  And they couldn't.
[01:28:24]  Yep, that's him.
[01:28:25]  Nice guy.
[01:28:25]  Did a good story.
[01:28:26]  So it was him and Joey Diaz on the same season.
[01:28:29]  Yeah.
[01:28:29]  And now this guy is a darling of the alt scene and he's on TV.
[01:28:33]  Yeah.
[01:28:33]  Joey Diaz is just some criminal.
[01:28:37]  And they didn't understand that.
[01:28:38]  And when Joey Diaz got to a million views and Rob Cordy is at like 80,000, they were like, what's going on here?
[01:28:44]  What do you mean?
[01:28:45]  And I'm like, well, one, he's internet famous, Joey.
[01:28:48]  Two, he's a master storyteller.
[01:28:51]  Like, you just like listen to him, being on the road with them.
[01:28:54]  It was so entertaining.
[01:28:55]  And that's what comics do too.
[01:28:56]  Back table to seller.
[01:28:57]  Yeah.
[01:28:57]  Everywhere.
[01:28:58]  We just tell him the time you went to Portugal.
[01:29:01]  Okay.
[01:29:01]  And that's what those like Jeff Dye did one about stealing a jersey.
[01:29:05]  We did this in basketball, intramural basketball.
[01:29:07]  He told me, I'm like, dude, you got to do my show.
[01:29:09]  Yeah.
[01:29:09]  He was just talking before a game about stealing Mike Vanderjack's jersey from his bar in Key West.
[01:29:16]  And then they'd be like, give him back the jersey.
[01:29:18]  He goes, no.
[01:29:19]  And I'm like, what do you mean?
[01:29:20]  He goes, no.
[01:29:20]  He goes to the Will Are Restie.
[01:29:21]  I'm like, then I'll burn your fucking all-star jersey.
[01:29:24]  He goes, I'm going to get some use out of it first.
[01:29:26]  And he's like, fuck, hold these guys.
[01:29:27]  So anyway, it was a Joey Diaz one.
[01:29:29]  And then what was really significant was Ali Sadiq.
[01:29:32]  Yes.
[01:29:33]  Legend.
[01:29:33]  Who was an unknown guy?
[01:29:35]  I mean, unknown.
[01:29:35]  I didn't know about him.
[01:29:37]  And we were, I know diversity has like bad connotations now, but I would say there's a diversity of life more than just color.
[01:29:46]  So if you take a rich black and a rich white, they're a lot closer than a rich white and a poor white, you know, a prison white.
[01:29:53]  Owen, what's his name?
[01:29:55]  You still have his comic view?
[01:29:57]  Owen carry on.
[01:30:00]  Yeah.
[01:30:00]  He's way different than you.
[01:30:02]  Yes.
[01:30:03]  Different lifestyle.
[01:30:04]  He's closer to Ali Sadiq, you know, than, you know.
[01:30:08]  Yeah.
[01:30:08]  So he had a story, my favorite story of all time.
[01:30:12]  So they told me, hey, he won a comedian.
[01:30:14]  So we're looking for like different diversity of experience.
[01:30:17]  Yeah.
[01:30:17]  They go, we know this guy.
[01:30:19]  Okay.
[01:30:19]  If you think he's good, let's go.
[01:30:20]  Let's have him.
[01:30:20]  I just don't know.
[01:30:22]  And we, we did, yeah.
[01:30:23]  So we did a because we wanted to make sure there were good stories.
[01:30:28]  So we did a bunch of TV bookings and then we go, let's have extra internet only bookings.
[01:30:32]  We'll take the best of those stories and move them up to TV.
[01:30:35]  Love.
[01:30:36]  They can prove themselves later.
[01:30:37]  Either way, they're getting an internet clip, which is better anyway.
[01:30:40]  So we saved like four spots to move up, like getting relegated or getting like advanced.
[01:30:45]  And he did one.
[01:30:46]  By the second season, I was like, they were like, they wanted to get at the second season.
[01:30:50]  They're like, let's do it.
[01:30:50]  I'm like, no, guys, the guy's a mask.
[01:30:52]  He did a story about, it's just called Mexican God on Boots.
[01:30:55]  Yeah.
[01:30:55]  And you should look it up because I don't want to ruin anything.
[01:30:58]  We referenced it here when he came on.
[01:31:00]  Really?
[01:31:00]  Yeah.
[01:31:01]  As like a touch point for a lot of us to him because a lot of us didn't know who he was until him.
[01:31:06]  And you're like, don't know what's going on.
[01:31:08]  It's like, remember the first time you said 28 days later?
[01:31:11]  Yeah.
[01:31:11]  And like, you don't know what's going on.
[01:31:12]  And the characters know what's going on.
[01:31:14]  So it's pretty interesting.
[01:31:15]  That's it.
[01:31:15]  You're like, what is what's happening?
[01:31:17]  Yeah.
[01:31:18]  While he in the story is trying to figure out what's it was, it's a masterpiece.
[01:31:22]  Yeah.
[01:31:23]  And then got some little views.
[01:31:25]  Nobody knew him.
[01:31:25]  And then like a year later, somebody on Reddit said, have you seen this?
[01:31:30]  And he got, and that was the joy of the internet.
[01:31:32]  A year later, a million views.
[01:31:34]  Yeah.
[01:31:35]  And it was a guy for a guy like that that has, I don't have five minutes of let out stuff.
[01:31:40]  Yeah.
[01:31:41]  But there's no place for me.
[01:31:43]  Yeah.
[01:31:43]  And him and Miss Pat, Jessa Reed, Big J, Joey.
[01:31:48]  I'm like, well, now there is a place.
[01:31:49]  Yeah.
[01:31:51]  And people started prepping stuff for it.
[01:31:53]  Yeah.
[01:31:53]  And it was like pretty great.
[01:31:55]  All right.
[01:31:55]  I mean, it was like, yeah, Alisa Deke is like, he's the piece of.
[01:31:59]  He's out of here now.
[01:32:00]  Oh, yeah.
[01:32:00]  He's out of here.
[01:32:01]  Like, he's prolific.
[01:32:03]  He's put out so many specials.
[01:32:04]  It's like amazing.
[01:32:05]  He's the most prolific comic in the world.
[01:32:07]  I don't know about India.
[01:32:08]  Maybe they have somebody.
[01:32:10]  In terms of ability to just create, create creativity.
[01:32:14]  At that high a level.
[01:32:15]  So he's the, he's, he is what the show is.
[01:32:18]  Yeah.
[01:32:19]  Finding a guy like that.
[01:32:20]  Yeah.
[01:32:21]  And it was, yeah, it was always great.
[01:32:22]  So how does it go wrong?
[01:32:25]  So I sold my special to a startup network streaming service and made my own special greed is what he's trying to say.
[01:32:36]  Called Netflix.
[01:32:37]  Yeah.
[01:32:37]  And I was like, I made my own special and I want to.
[01:32:40]  No, by the way, less money.
[01:32:42]  I just wanted people to see my special.
[01:32:43]  This is the double special.
[01:32:45]  Double special.
[01:32:46]  Commerce Central didn't have the ability to put on a back-to-back side A, side B thing.
[01:32:50]  They're still locked into TV things.
[01:32:53]  And they go, we'll take one of them.
[01:32:54]  Like it's not one and then another.
[01:32:55]  It's a double special.
[01:32:58]  It's like a double album.
[01:32:59]  It's not two albums.
[01:33:03]  So I sold it to them.
[01:33:04]  And then Commerce Central lost their minds.
[01:33:05]  What was really interesting about this and like they lost their minds.
[01:33:08]  This is the thing I feel like.
[01:33:09]  How dare you?
[01:33:11]  We're going to cut jobs and comedians if you don't give us your special.
[01:33:15]  I'm like, no, you're not going to blackmail me.
[01:33:17]  I'm not the guy to force.
[01:33:19]  I'll kill myself.
[01:33:22]  In my career, I've done it a hundred times.
[01:33:25]  What's not best for myself?
[01:33:26]  There's an important, there's an important wrinkle to the story, which is it's very common that these networks do what are called overall deals.
[01:33:33]  Comedy Central has had overall deals for plenty of talent.
[01:33:36]  The HBO did it.
[01:33:37]  Netflix does it.
[01:33:38]  Like this is a very common thing.
[01:33:39]  Let's lock you up.
[01:33:40]  They did.
[01:33:40]  Now you would have to lock you up.
[01:33:41]  They didn't do that for Ari.
[01:33:43]  Maybe he wouldn't have done it, but like there was never offer to him.
[01:33:45]  So when you don't offer that, the cost of that is the talent has the ability to do their special somewhere else without punitive measures taken.
[01:33:55]  If you don't want me to do that, it's very easy.
[01:33:57]  If you believe in me as a creator, then lock me up for the long term.
[01:34:01]  Mary Lynn Reisky was on 24, but they called her a recurring character on for 24 episodes a season.
[01:34:06]  And then she got Little Miss Sunshine.
[01:34:08]  They're like, no, no, we're shooting.
[01:34:09]  I'm like, I'm not a series regular.
[01:34:11]  You didn't make me, you didn't, you decided not to pay me the money to keep me.
[01:34:14]  The risk is the risk.
[01:34:15]  But to take, anyway, to take it out on you, I think is very unfair.
[01:34:19]  And they never, they saw me as an open micer who was lucky to have them.
[01:34:21]  That's true.
[01:34:22]  And I saw them as essentially, I'm bringing you the coolest show you've ever had.
[01:34:26]  It's time to, it's time to not view me.
[01:34:29]  What is it about Comedy Central that makes comedians go away off the grid for man law?
[01:34:39]  And that's what it was fun.
[01:34:40]  So I left in 2017 to Southeast Asia.
[01:34:43]  Yeah.
[01:34:43]  I finished whatever for four or five months.
[01:34:47]  Oh, yeah, dude.
[01:34:48]  I got to talk to him about this.
[01:34:51]  And then came back and sold my special to Netflix.
[01:34:53]  And then, and then, yeah, they lost their minds and it was over.
[01:34:55]  And then, and then you gave them the option and they rejected.
[01:34:58]  They said, we don't want both things.
[01:35:00]  We don't want it the way you want.
[01:35:01]  They go, I go, no, I'm going to have a Netflix special.
[01:35:03]  It'll help promote the TV show.
[01:35:05]  They go, we don't see it that way.
[01:35:06]  We see it as our show is going to promote Netflix.
[01:35:09]  And I'm like, oh, you guys, you've already lost.
[01:35:11]  Yeah, this is like end of the empire.
[01:35:16]  Anyway, so then they.
[01:35:17]  Then they started doing nasty shit about like, if you don't come with us, we're going to cut the amount of episodes.
[01:35:21]  Like, they did things that wouldn't just punish you, it would punish the people you were coming on.
[01:35:25]  Punish the staff, the crew who had been.
[01:35:28]  I mean, I got these guys.
[01:35:29]  There was a time with season three plus a couple digital seasons.
[01:35:32]  And I was like, let me get the director and the producer.
[01:35:36]  Let me get him some mushrooms for job well done.
[01:35:38]  And I talked to my mushroom guy and he goes, I'm actually getting out of the business.
[01:35:41]  So if you want some, take more.
[01:35:43]  I'm like, how much do you have?
[01:35:43]  He goes, I got pounds.
[01:35:45]  And I was like, I'll take it all.
[01:35:47]  Oh, boy, Ari.
[01:35:49]  And I gave everyone mushrooms, every comic.
[01:35:54]  I gave every grip, every fucking cameraman.
[01:35:58]  At some point, the safety lady, I was like, I would go up to everyone.
[01:36:01]  Hey, do you need a mushroom?
[01:36:02]  She goes, I know what you're doing.
[01:36:03]  I cannot see it.
[01:36:05]  Okay.
[01:36:09]  And we got mushrooms.
[01:36:11]  Aaron Berg smuggled his home in a salad from Whole Foods because he was afraid of getting it back.
[01:36:15]  Ali Sadiq didn't understand what I was giving him.
[01:36:20]  And he goes, How did Ari know I'm a vegetarian?
[01:36:26]  And he lost his mind in a hotel room and thought he became white.
[01:36:33]  No way.
[01:36:34]  Yeah.
[01:36:35]  And he told the story about it later.
[01:36:36]  But, like, yeah.
[01:36:39]  I'm sorry, I thought you knew what I was doing.
[01:36:41]  Who just gives dried mushrooms?
[01:36:44]  Yeah, this is a peculiar gift.
[01:36:45]  Oh, it wasn't in a chocolate or anything.
[01:36:47]  It was just broccoli in a baggy business.
[01:36:53]  We weren't on mushrooms.
[01:36:54]  Right, right.
[01:36:54]  That's it.
[01:36:55]  We burnt mushrooms.
[01:36:56]  What if his friend is Ollie?
[01:36:57]  She was like, I'm going to try Ari's gifts.
[01:36:59]  Also, they look just like high-end like Chautauqua.
[01:37:03]  Yeah.
[01:37:06]  Yeah.
[01:37:06]  Anyway, there's my family, and they're going to cut their job.
[01:37:09]  You hear that bird?
[01:37:10]  It wasn't just you.

=== Liposomal NAD Plus (03:17) ===

[01:37:11]  Yeah, yeah.
[01:37:14]  It wasn't just you.
[01:37:16]  There's a history of this.
[01:37:18]  All right, guys, let's take a break for a second.
[01:37:19]  Talkspace is the number one rated online therapy, bringing your professional support from licensed therapists and psychiatrists that you can access anytime, anywhere.
[01:37:31]  Let's just get this straight.
[01:37:33]  It's online therapy is just therapy.
[01:37:35]  Nobody's going to the therapist's office anymore.
[01:37:38]  You're not seeing some stale office in an apartment building.
[01:37:42]  They got shitty art on the walls, so it doesn't look exactly what it is.
[01:37:46]  A Zoom site.
[01:37:47]  Everything is done this way now.
[01:37:50]  Talkspace was ahead of the curve.
[01:37:52]  Okay.
[01:37:53]  You can get therapy and medication all in one place.
[01:37:56]  Unlike other telehealth companies, psychiatry is available through Talkspace.
[01:37:59]  So you can get the medication you need to supplement your talk therapy if needed.
[01:38:03]  Talkspace is inclusive.
[01:38:05]  Talkspace gives high-quality care that's backed by science.
[01:38:10]  Talkspace partners with major research institutions to validate their treatment methods, making sure you receive the best care possible from anywhere.
[01:38:18]  Talkspace makes getting the help you need easy, accessible, and affordable.
[01:38:23]  Plus, most insured members have a $0 copay.
[01:38:27]  I'm telling you, this will be worth it.
[01:38:29]  Start changing your life today in the most convenient way possible.
[01:38:33]  As a listener of this podcast, you'll get $80 off your first month with Talkspace.
[01:38:38]  When you go to talkspace.com/slash flagrant and enter the promo code SPACE80, that's S-P-A-C-E-80 to match with a licensed therapist today.
[01:38:47]  Go to talkspace.com/slash flagrant and enter the promo code space80.
[01:38:51]  All right, guys, real quick.
[01:38:52]  This episode is brought to you by Roe Nutrition and our liposomal NAD Plus.
[01:38:58]  And for the flagrant people, you get 20% off with the code flagrant at row nutrition.com.
[01:39:03]  That's R-H-O-Nutrition.com.
[01:39:05]  Now, let me tell you why I've been taking Rose liposomal NAD Plus every morning.
[01:39:09]  NAD Plus is one of the most important molecules in your entire body.
[01:39:13]  Why is it important?
[01:39:14]  Well, if you picture every cell having a little engine inside of it, which is the mitochondria, NAD Plus is the fuel that that engine runs on.
[01:39:23]  It helps power everything from your metabolism to your cellular repair to how well you think and recover by age 30.
[01:39:31]  NAD levels drop nearly 50%.
[01:39:33]  And that impacts everything.
[01:39:35]  Your energy, your recovery, your brain function.
[01:39:37]  RHO makes NAD Plus. in a liposomal liquid format designed to support absorption and it's incredibly convenient.
[01:39:45]  It's a quick little daily teaspoon, no powders, no capsules, no trip to a clinic.
[01:39:49]  And I actually feel the difference.
[01:39:52]  Clearer, more focused, clean energy throughout the day.
[01:39:55]  Professional athletes, high performers, and medical professionals, trust Rose formulas.
[01:39:59]  These are people who take their health and recovery extremely seriously and they choose this brand.
[01:40:05]  So if you want to try Rose Liposomal, NAD Plus, or anything else on their website, head to Ronutrition.com, use the code flagrant and get 20% off.
[01:40:14]  Again, flagrant for 20% off.
[01:40:16]  Your liver, well, thank you.
[01:40:17]  Pause.
[01:40:18]  Yeah.
[01:40:19]  I give out trippy awards for best, all these different categories on my podcast.
[01:40:23]  You've been tripping, travel podcasts.
[01:40:24]  You've done it.
[01:40:25]  You've done it.
[01:40:25]  You've been in anywhere?
[01:40:26]  Great podcast.
[01:40:27]  Yeah.
[01:40:28]  Oh, I would lift it.

=== Daily Focus Boosters (02:55) ===

[01:40:29]  Okay.
[01:40:29]  I was got good travel stories.
[01:40:30]  Yeah, great.
[01:40:32]  Locked up and sweet.
[01:40:34]  You got locked up in the past.
[01:40:34]  And I give out best episode, best trip, most dangerous, biggest piece of shit.
[01:40:40]  This year, Louis Gomez did that for making his son jump off a cliff on waters.
[01:40:45]  They're like, hey, you can't jump in here.
[01:40:46]  That's low tide.
[01:40:50]  You won most surprising this year.
[01:40:51]  You won most surprising trippy for Burning Man.
[01:40:53]  That's sick.
[01:40:54]  That was a great app, dude.
[01:40:55]  That was a really fun app.
[01:40:57]  Yeah.
[01:40:57]  The finalists were you and Tucker Carlson for not talking politics for an hour straight.
[01:41:03]  Yeah, I think it was a little final too.
[01:41:05]  Yeah.
[01:41:05]  Yes.
[01:41:06]  I think it's good I beat Tucker.
[01:41:09]  Spurt was trip of the year.
[01:41:10]  Steph Tolov was guest of the year.
[01:41:12]  Oh, wow.
[01:41:13]  Yeah, I make a little plank on a good channel.
[01:41:14]  Well, thank you for that.
[01:41:15]  That was a fun F, dude.
[01:41:16]  Yeah.
[01:41:16]  You went deep.
[01:41:17]  Anyway, so this, it was taken from me, and it was a fucking hole in my heart for a long time.
[01:41:23]  Yeah, because I think a lot of people assume that you just pitched the show to Comedy Central.
[01:41:28]  They said yes, and then you did it.
[01:41:29]  I don't think they understood like the lore behind it.
[01:41:31]  Then it was a baby that you kind of brought up.
[01:41:33]  Yeah, like who's this guy wasn't even on this?
[01:41:34]  I'm like, no, they didn't catch it.
[01:41:35]  And then it got cut out of you and they played soccer with it.
[01:41:43]  Now we're making Oreos comfortable with his own story.
[01:41:47]  I should not have told you that.
[01:41:48]  I should not have told you guys that story.
[01:41:50]  I am tired of that.
[01:41:52]  I'm sorry.
[01:41:54]  I shouldn't have said that.
[01:41:56]  There is something when you get that response when you go, dude.
[01:42:02]  What was funny about it is the level of concern you had and then the immediate laughter.
[01:42:07]  Yeah.
[01:42:08]  Because it's so wrong.
[01:42:09]  I love wrong.
[01:42:11]  Yeah.
[01:42:12]  It was so out of line what you said that I was like, damn.
[01:42:15]  And then you're all tagging and my kisses.
[01:42:18]  I talked to you.
[01:42:18]  It's a team sport.
[01:42:19]  Oh, wow.
[01:42:21]  Yeah.
[01:42:23]  Dude, there was a guy that was a Hasidic guy.
[01:42:25]  I have new Hasidic fans.
[01:42:27]  And there was a Hasidic guy who showed up in my last special taping, Hasidic.
[01:42:30]  So he was in the audience.
[01:42:31]  And my closure is a pro-Holocaust victim joke.
[01:42:36]  Pro-should-be victims.
[01:42:39]  Pro-German shit.
[01:42:41]  And this guy, I mean, you know, you see certain audience members.
[01:42:44]  He was like, what the fuck?
[01:42:47]  I don't know what you can't joke about this.
[01:42:50]  So ecstatic.
[01:42:51]  You didn't know that was a possibility.
[01:42:53]  Yeah, this joke about what I told you was so wrong.
[01:42:56]  It's so funny.
[01:42:57]  Wait, so the guy liked the joke.
[01:42:58]  So hold on with the guy.
[01:42:59]  Hold on.
[01:43:00]  He's like, I wasn't allowed to laugh at that.
[01:43:02]  Never heard it.
[01:43:03]  I was about to feel anger about this.
[01:43:05]  Wow.
[01:43:05]  So he was surprised by the Holocaust twice.
[01:43:12]  This is not happening.
[01:43:17]  That's my favorite believing interviews.
[01:43:23]  They don't just take the thing.

=== Holocaust Joke Backlash (15:45) ===

[01:43:24]  They always go, I understand.
[01:43:27]  I'm not going to.
[01:43:28]  I'm not going to fucking do it.
[01:43:30]  That's how people on Twitter describe the Holocaust.
[01:43:32]  Face.
[01:43:32]  Yeah, this is not happening.
[01:43:36]  We're cooking with gas, boys.
[01:43:43]  Okay, okay.
[01:43:44]  So you get an opportunity to get it back.
[01:43:48]  Yeah.
[01:43:49]  Well, it's not an opportunity.
[01:43:51]  I was like, I have to have some time to think straight.
[01:43:54]  Well, the show gets continued without you, which is, I think, an important thing.
[01:43:57]  Yeah, Roy Wood took over.
[01:43:58]  And to Roy's credit, called you, which 100% said, hey, I won't do this.
[01:44:02]  We don't want to do it.
[01:44:02]  What do you want me to do here?
[01:44:03]  They told, like, let's discuss.
[01:44:05]  And I was like, dude, if you don't do it, they're going to cut it from all these comedians.
[01:44:08]  Comedians won't get a chance.
[01:44:09]  Ryan O'Neill got it a chance that year.
[01:44:11]  He wouldn't know if the show went away.
[01:44:15]  I'm like, do it, dude.
[01:44:16]  Do it.
[01:44:16]  And I was like, but get that across the board deal.
[01:44:19]  Make them buy a script from you.
[01:44:21]  Like, they need you right now.
[01:44:22]  I went South by Southwest didn't have any women.
[01:44:24]  And then they were like, oh shit, they got a key for it.
[01:44:26]  And they went to like Chelsea Peretti.
[01:44:27]  And she goes, I got paid because I know why you're calling me.
[01:44:31]  Yeah.
[01:44:33]  Yeah.
[01:44:33]  I'm feeling a whole lot.
[01:44:34]  You're not doing this because you want me.
[01:44:35]  Right.
[01:44:35]  So you're going to pay me trouble.
[01:44:37]  Yeah, exactly.
[01:44:38]  So I was like, kick it.
[01:44:39]  And so we did.
[01:44:40]  Honor the show, work goofy outfit like I always did, you know.
[01:44:44]  But, you know, it didn't end the way it should have ended, which is me taking it out.
[01:44:49]  And so it was always like, I got to get back to this.
[01:44:52]  And then COVID hit, and I try to look at the positives.
[01:44:56]  That's my last special.
[01:44:57]  America's Sweetheart on Netflix, find positives and everything.
[01:45:00]  Sure, I was out of a job, but I went to Ecuador for six months while my industry collapsed.
[01:45:05]  And every comic here was wildly succeeding on the internet.
[01:45:09]  I was taking off and eating fucking cooey.
[01:45:11]  And it's Jaron.
[01:45:14]  But like, I had time to think clearly.
[01:45:17]  And I'm like, it's time to do it again.
[01:45:19]  I can, I can, like, all this stuff is off my plate, just like this trip.
[01:45:22]  Stuff's off my plate.
[01:45:22]  I can think clearly.
[01:45:24]  Yeah.
[01:45:25]  And I'm like, yeah, let's do it.
[01:45:26]  So I called Eric.
[01:45:27]  I'm like, let's do it.
[01:45:28]  And he's like, let's put in all our money.
[01:45:31]  And then I talked to Tom Segura and I was like, can you help?
[01:45:35]  And he goes, I got a whole, I got a whole, like, not industry, what's it called?
[01:45:39]  Team.
[01:45:40]  Yeah, team, pretty much.
[01:45:42]  Infrastructure here.
[01:45:43]  Infrastructure.
[01:45:43]  People that would love to make this the first non-Tom Segura production we make.
[01:45:48]  Yeah.
[01:45:49]  We'd be on the show.
[01:45:50]  He was, he had great dosing himself on GHB and ending up in the hospital story early on.
[01:45:58]  So he helped.
[01:46:00]  And then we were like, let's make it.
[01:46:01]  And we did.
[01:46:02]  And then we started scouting places.
[01:46:04]  We got to do it right.
[01:46:05]  Cheetah's, the place we had is all built up and all like LED screens now.
[01:46:09]  You can't go back there.
[01:46:10]  And then also we had to like separate a little from the old show.
[01:46:13]  And then you know where they did it?
[01:46:16]  The box.
[01:46:17]  Oh no.
[01:46:19]  Oh, it's fire.
[01:46:19]  That's great.
[01:46:20]  That's fire.
[01:46:21]  Had the vibe.
[01:46:22]  The vibe we had at that tranny strip club in Montreal.
[01:46:25]  And you go up the steps, you're seeing these like faded pictures of these like trans strippers, and you're like, I'm in a dark place now.
[01:46:32]  And if somebody's telling me a story about some shit they did, I'm not going to judge them.
[01:46:35]  Exactly.
[01:46:35]  Because this is not glossy.
[01:46:36]  I like going downstairs to the cellar.
[01:46:38]  I do downstairs rooms.
[01:46:40]  I agree completely.
[01:46:41]  It sets its own for the audience.
[01:46:42]  Like if you're doing it at like some like university stuff like that.
[01:46:48]  There's just too high an expectation.
[01:46:49]  Yeah.
[01:46:50]  So it was like, yeah.
[01:46:52]  So we're like, we find the box is built around debauchery.
[01:46:54]  Debauchery.
[01:46:56]  Perfect.
[01:46:56]  I mean, the last hour is, I don't want to get him in trouble.
[01:47:00]  But I will tell you, so I went last time.
[01:47:02]  They were like, hey, if you're going to do a show, I was like, you know what?
[01:47:04]  I need to hear the sound system in use.
[01:47:07]  And I want to see if they have.
[01:47:08]  You can tell the story about when you went.
[01:47:10]  I need to go.
[01:47:11]  I mean, Chappelle used to throw comedians' balls there.
[01:47:13]  Yeah, yeah.
[01:47:15]  And I don't really know him that well.
[01:47:17]  Yeah.
[01:47:19]  He's always got a posse of 30 people.
[01:47:22]  That's not my vibe.
[01:47:22]  Me and Nattel wants me to go to diners every late night.
[01:47:25]  And then he comes upstairs one time and goes, you guys want to go eat?
[01:47:27]  I'm like, yeah, we're actually about to go eat.
[01:47:29]  Sure.
[01:47:29]  And then 40 more people like, yeah, well, I'm like, enjoy, honey.
[01:47:33]  It's not, I'm not itching to get close to you.
[01:47:37]  Yeah, you throw these comedian balls, which is like, come.
[01:47:39]  I want you guys to talk to each other, shoot the shit.
[01:47:43]  Beer's on me.
[01:47:44]  Yeah.
[01:47:44]  Drinks on me.
[01:47:45]  Enjoy yourself.
[01:47:47]  I mean, so cool.
[01:47:48]  And I saw him at the cellar brunch like a week or two later.
[01:47:51]  I was like, oh, thanks for the comedian ball.
[01:47:52]  That's no problem.
[01:47:53]  I was like, dude, I got a hand job upstairs.
[01:47:54]  He goes, all right, man.
[01:47:55]  That's why I knew it.
[01:47:56]  He was so stoked.
[01:47:58]  It's like, nice.
[01:47:59]  But anyway, so I was like, I want to see how the sound is.
[01:48:04]  Let's get back to the old style Andy's.
[01:48:09]  So I was like, let me see what I got to make sure the sound.
[01:48:11]  It's not a comedy room.
[01:48:12]  Yeah.
[01:48:12]  Yeah.
[01:48:13]  So I got to see how it works.
[01:48:14]  And I know they have cordless mics.
[01:48:15]  I'm like, I'm going to put the stage in a different place.
[01:48:18]  I want to see how it works if they're in a different place.
[01:48:19]  So I'm like, can I come one night?
[01:48:21]  Absolutely.
[01:48:23]  And I mean, the MC, she's got so much power and she's moving all around.
[01:48:26]  So she is where we built the stage on the ramp down.
[01:48:29]  And you can hear clearly.
[01:48:30]  I'm like, fine.
[01:48:30]  But I'm up there and I'm on way too much Molly.
[01:48:35]  Y'all going crazy?
[01:48:37]  Charlie going crazy.
[01:48:38]  And I was just doing this.
[01:48:40]  And then I just heard snap.
[01:48:42]  And my tooth just shattered.
[01:48:44]  No.
[01:48:45]  Yeah.
[01:48:47]  I mean, it was good, Molly.
[01:48:49]  What a fun night.
[01:48:51]  Like a back molar?
[01:48:53]  Yeah.
[01:48:53]  And just goes, and then I had to go to the dentist.
[01:48:55]  Like, what happened?
[01:48:55]  I was like, I'll tell the assistant, but I'm not telling an actual doctor.
[01:49:01]  You're not going to understand this.
[01:49:03]  Bro.
[01:49:04]  What a fun place.
[01:49:07]  What a fun place.
[01:49:08]  Did you party the rest of the night?
[01:49:09]  Because like being on Molly and breaking your tooth, you're not even feeling that.
[01:49:12]  I'm not feeling it.
[01:49:13]  I was like, we did it.
[01:49:16]  Did you get a replacement tooth?
[01:49:18]  Yeah, it's somewhere back there.
[01:49:19]  Gold tooth.
[01:49:20]  Yeah.
[01:49:20]  Uh-uh.
[01:49:21]  No offense, but that was actually.
[01:49:25]  That might be you.
[01:49:28]  That's where we come together.
[01:49:29]  Jews and blacks.
[01:49:30]  No tipping and gold.
[01:49:33]  Is there some Molly still stuck in there, dude?
[01:49:35]  Oh, that'd be great.
[01:49:37]  Yeah, you flaw some triple L.
[01:49:38]  It's kind of nice.
[01:49:41]  Yeah, so we did it there.
[01:49:42]  It was so cool and iconic and like dark.
[01:49:45]  And like, man, I'm really stoked.
[01:49:48]  It went so well.
[01:49:49]  Everybody brought it.
[01:49:51]  It went so well.
[01:49:52]  I'm happy.
[01:49:55]  I know that's lame as a comedian, but I am awesome.
[01:49:58]  I do an awesome thing.
[01:49:59]  I'm trying to be happy where we got to be miserable.
[01:50:01]  We got to be mad about everything.
[01:50:02]  It's like, I think it's such an attention grab, to be honest.
[01:50:06]  Yeah.
[01:50:06]  And I didn't want to eat fucking with it.
[01:50:08]  So I was like, Tom was like, I have got to be molested.
[01:50:11]  Yeah, we all got to be molested.
[01:50:12]  There was a moment where it was like, somebody described it.
[01:50:15]  Wait, you don't remember that where like some comics started talking about like they got all their STDs they got and like if they were touched and all this other shit and And I was like, okay, I got it.
[01:50:24]  So it's this, like, I'm incredibly honest about the weirdest.
[01:50:28]  She radicals.
[01:50:29]  Radical vulnerability.
[01:50:30]  Miss Pat was telling a story in Montreal, that strip club, and it was, she glanced over this and I didn't understand it for like two minutes.
[01:50:38]  But she goes, it was something along the lines of my uncle took out his dick and it smelled like raw chicken.
[01:50:47]  And I was like, we're all laughing.
[01:50:49]  And then I was like, wait, was she just, did she just say she got molested?
[01:50:52]  Is she a victim?
[01:50:53]  And she's not a victim and she never will be.
[01:50:56]  Wow.
[01:50:56]  She played it as a comic.
[01:50:58]  And I was like, that's the, I mean, I keep thinking about that for a decade, how cool that was to not wallow in it at all, to not lose her job.
[01:51:07]  Her job is funny.
[01:51:08]  She's not going to be like, now let's get serious for 20 minutes in the middle for no reason.
[01:51:12]  Yeah.
[01:51:14]  Yeah.
[01:51:14]  So anyway, I'm stoked.
[01:51:16]  I finished the show.
[01:51:16]  So I'm, so Tom's like, I have a streaming, put it up on there.
[01:51:19]  Yeah.
[01:51:20]  We'll recoup, give, give out the money.
[01:51:23]  Yeah, so it's available right now.
[01:51:25]  $5 off.
[01:51:26]  Wait a minute, it's available to watch or it's available to pre-order.
[01:51:28]  Pre-order now.
[01:51:28]  Yeah.
[01:51:29]  $25 instead of $30 for seven hour-long episodes.
[01:51:33]  Yeah, that's a great deal, dude.
[01:51:36]  At first, that was like $10 each, $70.
[01:51:38]  And then all the young staff at YMH is like, zero chance.
[01:51:41]  Well, people are hurting.
[01:51:42]  Yeah.
[01:51:42]  People are hurting right now.
[01:51:43]  Yeah.
[01:51:44]  But you, but the lineup itself is crazy.
[01:51:47]  I mean, like, Shane to Norman to Radio Comics.
[01:51:50]  Yeah.
[01:51:51]  Yeah.
[01:51:51]  It's crazy how much more successful this has become from when it started.
[01:51:56]  Yeah.
[01:51:57]  Where Ralphie's like, it's the most successful one.
[01:51:59]  It's like Tempe Improv.
[01:52:00]  Yeah.
[01:52:01]  Yeah.
[01:52:02]  Now it's like arenas.
[01:52:03]  It's crazy.
[01:52:04]  That's so no, no.
[01:52:05]  Stadium stuff.
[01:52:07]  Yeah.
[01:52:07]  The link.
[01:52:08]  Fluffy.
[01:52:08]  You remember last time I was in here?
[01:52:10]  Tell me.
[01:52:10]  I had this memory coming up here.
[01:52:11]  Well, last time I was in here, I think you were getting ready to play the beacon or something.
[01:52:14]  Yeah.
[01:52:15]  And I put this in if you could find it.
[01:52:17]  I was like, I got a prediction that has not been done.
[01:52:20]  I think you're going to play Madison Square Garden.
[01:52:22]  No, yeah.
[01:52:23]  And you're like, we'll see about that.
[01:52:26]  Really?
[01:52:26]  Yeah.
[01:52:26]  Hey, here's a prediction before we leave.
[01:52:28]  Yeah.
[01:52:29]  Within, before 2025, Andrew Schultz will play Madison Square Garden.
[01:52:36]  That'll be sick.
[01:52:37]  And I will be there taking tickets.
[01:52:39]  Wow, you came, it's been that long since you've been on.
[01:52:42]  It was Jew with special appreciation.
[01:52:43]  So that was 20?
[01:52:46]  Two, 2022?
[01:52:47]  Yeah.
[01:52:48]  Yeah, I was still mad at him.
[01:52:56]  We gotta bring this up.
[01:52:58]  Yeah.
[01:53:01]  Time does heal over.
[01:53:03]  Exactly.
[01:53:04]  Pray for me.
[01:53:09]  Jamari is proof.
[01:53:13]  Yeah, but I put all my money into this.
[01:53:14]  So, like, you know, go support it.
[01:53:17]  Yeah, if you want, I did a lot.
[01:53:18]  If you want to support this kind of outsider shit, if you've ever wanted to support me, this is the time.
[01:53:24]  Get your $5 off.
[01:53:26]  It's like three bucks an episode at this point for crazy names.
[01:53:31]  And it's great.
[01:53:33]  Anyway.
[01:53:34]  It's awesome.
[01:53:35]  I'm very excited for it.
[01:53:36]  You said, when is it coming out?
[01:53:37]  What's it?
[01:53:37]  Coming out April 16th, right before Hitler's birthday.
[01:53:40]  Jesus.
[01:53:43]  Probably 420.
[01:53:44]  Also 420.
[01:53:46]  And our guy, Tom Cassetta, worked on it too.
[01:53:48]  And Tom Cassetta.
[01:53:49]  Oh, yeah.
[01:53:49]  Shout out to Guy.
[01:53:50]  My guy is the goat.
[01:53:52]  Tom Casetta.
[01:53:53]  He is.
[01:53:53]  I told you this before.
[01:53:54]  If he's not available when I'm on a recorded special, I don't do it.
[01:53:58]  You don't do it.
[01:53:59]  Yeah.
[01:54:00]  I'm trying to tell everybody, man.
[01:54:01]  It's kind of funny.
[01:54:02]  And like, people.
[01:54:02]  Did Norman's last one?
[01:54:04]  Yeah.
[01:54:04]  People will skimp.
[01:54:05]  People will skimp on sound.
[01:54:08]  It's the one thing in comedy that you cannot skimp on.
[01:54:12]  You're going to feel like you're in the room.
[01:54:13]  Yes.
[01:54:13]  Yeah.
[01:54:14]  It's an audio medium, really.
[01:54:16]  Blind people can enjoy comedy.
[01:54:18]  Deaf people have a way harder to win.
[01:54:19]  I wish they would.
[01:54:22]  Wait, let's get back to this trip.
[01:54:24]  Yes, Well, no, no, before we get back to the trip, yeah.
[01:54:27]  Um, it's it's called the end.
[01:54:30]  Yeah, I was gonna like the title.
[01:54:32]  I don't want it to be the end.
[01:54:33]  It's the end, buddy.
[01:54:35]  No, I want it to be more.
[01:54:36]  I know.
[01:54:36]  When I asked you, like, hey, eventually, like, first you're like, Yes, there's a couple people like yes, and then something came up and they could Santina was like, instant yes.
[01:54:43]  Then he's like, Oh, dude, no, we've been planning this trip to Mexico for two years.
[01:54:47]  I can't.
[01:54:48]  I don't like it.
[01:54:48]  And he was like, You were like, Yes, and then you're like, Hey, I haven't been on stage.
[01:54:52]  I just can't.
[01:54:53]  Um, let's see how this sells.
[01:54:56]  It probably not gonna be the end.
[01:54:57]  It's not my driving force, it's not what drives me.
[01:55:00]  But it is the end of the saga, how do you marry the first thing?
[01:55:03]  And now you get the ending that you never see.
[01:55:05]  It's a double meaning, it's the end, like a story, you know, the end, and it's the end of the story.
[01:55:09]  The show has a story of its own.
[01:55:11]  Yeah, came from a fucking broom closet.
[01:55:13]  Yeah, it went up to this.
[01:55:14]  We played the we sold at the Ryman Theater with like surprise names, yeah.
[01:55:18]  And then now we're it's I don't want to harp on this anymore, but I do like you're like, I'll do the next season.
[01:55:24]  I'm like, there's no next season, you're like, No, no, there's a next season.
[01:55:25]  I'm talking about it, there's a next season, but like to me, it's just and I think Comedy Central's ego got in the way, and I think that ego got in the way of a lot of stuff when you're the only game in town.
[01:55:34]  That often happens, and it's like you know, that you maybe stop thinking that the town is the reason why things are successful, and you think that the executives are, but that's a different conversation.
[01:55:42]  But it's so rare that a platform is interesting for people that you do not know who they are.
[01:55:51]  You know, Kill Tony's been able to do this, but this is so rare.
[01:55:55]  So, if Tony Story was great, Tony, Tony did this one also, by the way.
[01:55:58]  Great story, but like it's so rare.
[01:56:00]  So, if I'm in network, I'm looking at this and going, I've been spending so much money trying to get people into the next generation of comics, and I have not been able to.
[01:56:10]  Unfortunately, we all want to see our friends, when our friends get opportunities, we all want to see them blow up and succeed.
[01:56:15]  And a lot of them do it and then end up just clipping it and putting it online and hoping it works online.
[01:56:19]  This was an actual property where people were excited about the story, not the person telling it.
[01:56:26]  And then, yeah, you didn't know who they were.
[01:56:29]  And then became excited about the person telling it and want to see more fucking stories from them.
[01:56:33]  It is exactly what if I was in charge of a network or something, it is exactly the type of show that I would do to incubate talent.
[01:56:42]  And if I actually really wanted comics to become more successful and have flourishing careers, which should be the idea of your network, right?
[01:56:49]  Because it's based on that, like it's the exact thing that I would want to do.
[01:56:53]  So, again, I hope this crushes.
[01:56:54]  I hope you never have to do anything that you don't want to do again.
[01:56:56]  But there is a part of me that goes, like, man, if this became another big platform, great opportunities for comics who right now I think kind of don't know what to do.
[01:57:04]  They're like, Do I post things on TikTok?
[01:57:06]  Do I put a YouTube special out?
[01:57:08]  There's a million YouTube specials out.
[01:57:09]  It's like, I don't think a lot of them know what to do.
[01:57:12]  That is that, that is, and you're not picky on like name size.
[01:57:15]  This has all the big names.
[01:57:16]  I want story.
[01:57:16]  I'm like, submitting stories.
[01:57:18]  Yeah, so sometimes you go to people's agents and I'm like, hey, do they have a story?
[01:57:21]  They're like, are you off from the show?
[01:57:22]  And I'm like, what do we do?
[01:57:23]  It's like, what are we doing?
[01:57:24]  I need to see what they're going to do.
[01:57:26]  And they're like, I'm not telling my high-end client that you want to talk to them about maybe booking.
[01:57:31]  I'm like, I should have gone to it myself right away.
[01:57:33]  Just don't get ready for people by going to the Jews first.
[01:57:38]  Yeah.
[01:57:39]  Yeah, that is a nice thing to get more of it.
[01:57:41]  Like Colin was like, I'm excited for Colin Torella.
[01:57:44]  I'm excited for people to see something he worked hard on and lived like a piece of shit.
[01:57:49]  He won piece of shit of the year for a trippy award for the first time.
[01:57:53]  Yeah, for the first year.
[01:57:55]  Like, yeah, like some of these guys, like, they were just like great.
[01:57:58]  And I'm excited for you to see these unknowns that are like, that was awesome.
[01:58:03]  The reason you go see a name is because you're more likely to have a good time.
[01:58:06]  Yeah.
[01:58:07]  I know if I go see you, this is going to be good.
[01:58:10]  Yeah.
[01:58:10]  If you go to a high-end restaurant, it's going to be a good meal.
[01:58:12]  Yeah.
[01:58:12]  And so you don't want to take a chance on an unknown.
[01:58:15]  But I'm telling you, I vetted everyone.
[01:58:17]  So trust me as the curator.
[01:58:19]  Yeah.
[01:58:19]  And that's what happens when, again, that's what happens when you have somebody who's curating things that are going to be interesting.
[01:58:25]  And all it takes is one or two stories from somebody you didn't know to be locked in.
[01:58:31]  And all it takes is one or two that suck from somebody you don't know for you to be out.
[01:58:36]  And I think that's maybe what Comedy Central might have learned or whatever.
[01:58:39]  But it's like you need somebody who is looking out for the product.
[01:58:44]  And the product isn't necessarily just the biggest names.
[01:58:46]  Yes, this one has it.
[01:58:47]  But the people that are going to surprise you, the ones that are going to blow you away, that's kind of what sustains the product.
[01:58:53]  But I'm not booking like Brad Pitt, who's like, I don't know if you felt if you're a good comedian.
[01:58:59]  Also, I'm booking Shane Gillis.
[01:59:01]  He's like, yeah, you're a big name, but you're also a great comic.
[01:59:03]  Fantastic at the thing.
[01:59:04]  It's like, yeah, Nate's a great comic.
[01:59:06]  No one was a great comic before he was getting like sell-out bonuses.

=== Comedy Central Product (07:46) ===

[01:59:10]  Yes.
[01:59:11]  So it's best of both worlds.
[01:59:12]  Did you say no to any stories because you felt that not on a quality basis, but you felt like the story was too vulgar, too intense, too political, or anything like that?
[01:59:22]  No.
[01:59:23]  What about I will say, I don't, I'm not that interested in stories about the industry.
[01:59:29]  Yeah.
[01:59:30]  Experience.
[01:59:30]  Losing out in a part is like not that interesting.
[01:59:32]  Yeah, the stakes are low.
[01:59:33]  Yeah.
[01:59:35]  But no, go vulgar.
[01:59:36]  No, I would never.
[01:59:37]  But what I think you do do is you'll be honest with the comic.
[01:59:41]  This isn't good enough.
[01:59:42]  Yeah.
[01:59:42]  I've gotten people mad at me before for sure where I'm like, it's not, this is a story of something that almost happened and was never really even on the table.
[01:59:48]  You just thought it was going to happen.
[01:59:51]  Yeah.
[01:59:51]  And then you realize like I wasn't even that guy.
[01:59:53]  So you were never in any danger.
[01:59:55]  It's a different, it's a different thing than stand-up.
[01:59:57]  Like there are people who are fucking amazing.
[01:59:59]  We were talking about someone who was amazing at stand-up, like amazing.
[02:00:02]  And they worked on something and you just were honest.
[02:00:05]  You're like, hey, you're incredible.
[02:00:06]  Like you're the reason why I wanted you to do it.
[02:00:08]  I don't know if this is there yet.
[02:00:09]  But that's the thing that I think when the network is making the decision, they're going, well, we already have them signed up for a special.
[02:00:15]  So this will be a great promotional opportunity for the next special.
[02:00:17]  And then you start diluting the conversion was like, just do this to him.
[02:00:20]  Like, no, it takes some time.
[02:00:21]  Like, well, they have a good story.
[02:00:22]  I'm like, but they got to work out the beats of that.
[02:00:25]  It takes a while.
[02:00:26]  Some of my stories have taken plus a year to get right, to find a right ending of like, of like a thank you, good night.
[02:00:32]  When you just know it's like, that's just not easy.
[02:00:34]  Yeah um, dream guest.
[02:00:41]  Um, I was.
[02:00:42]  They don't have to be comic, by the way, they could be anybody, but some somebody that you're like.
[02:00:46]  Oh man, this guy tells great stories.
[02:00:47]  I think this would be awesome.
[02:00:48]  Jeffries, I was really trying to get oh, has he not done it?
[02:00:51]  He's done it live.
[02:00:52]  The live shows are to me, they blend in at this point because they're just so good.
[02:00:56]  Yeah, Jeffries is phenomenal.
[02:00:57]  Yeah, he's a great storyteller.
[02:00:59]  Um who, i've never gotten any non-comic that you're like.
[02:01:05]  Every time I hear this guy talk, it's fascinating.
[02:01:07]  Davisoderos would be really cool.
[02:01:09]  Um yeah, i'm trying to think if I could get someone to, because we've had some non-comics on over.
[02:01:15]  The Henry Rollins told one of the best ever on the Old Is Not Happening.
[02:01:19]  Um, if I get someone to tell some out of who they like like, if I could get like Marilyn Tucker Carlson to tell a story about following the dead around, you know, back when he was a drug addict, Like, that would be interesting to me.
[02:01:33]  Yeah.
[02:01:34]  You know, Bernie Sanders losing his virginity story.
[02:01:36]  Dude, would be a fun, that'd be a fun story.
[02:01:39]  You know, those would be fun.
[02:01:41]  Yeah, you have to go.
[02:01:42]  Jason Williams.
[02:01:43]  Oh, white shot.
[02:01:44]  Basketball player.
[02:01:45]  Yes.
[02:01:45]  Amazing.
[02:01:46]  He's incredible.
[02:01:47]  Fantastic stories.
[02:01:48]  He's incredible.
[02:01:49]  Unbelievable.
[02:01:50]  He's someone to consider.
[02:01:51]  I thought.
[02:01:51]  Oh, Josh Hammy would be a really good one.
[02:01:53]  He gets into fights as Queens of the Stone Age lead singer.
[02:01:56]  Oh, yeah.
[02:01:56]  Yeah.
[02:01:56]  Him, I actually tried to get a few times.
[02:01:58]  Really?
[02:01:59]  We were not close, I guess, but like border there on Dolly Parton one year.
[02:02:04]  Oh, no, not Dolly Parton.
[02:02:05]  We tried to get her.
[02:02:06]  The chick who died who had all the plastic surgery, the comedian.
[02:02:08]  She's a comedian, I guess.
[02:02:09]  Joan Rivers.
[02:02:10]  Yeah, it was close.
[02:02:11]  Oh, that would have been awesome.
[02:02:13]  That's the thing.
[02:02:13]  It's like, if you go with the celeb, if you go with the celeb pop-in, it can't just be that they're a celeb.
[02:02:21]  Right, no, the story has to almost be bigger than them being a celeb.
[02:02:25]  The story Dolly, the stories Dolly Parton tells when she's on stage is about her being poor in North Carolina.
[02:02:30]  Yeah.
[02:02:30]  And not the first time it's sold out in an arena.
[02:02:33]  Exactly.
[02:02:33]  Who cares?
[02:02:35]  Yeah.
[02:02:35]  Yeah.
[02:02:35]  The story has to be primary.
[02:02:37]  Yeah.
[02:02:37]  Jay says it.
[02:02:38]  He was like, don't ever tell a success story.
[02:02:40]  Oh, no.
[02:02:41]  We don't want to hear that.
[02:02:42]  That's what's the best.
[02:02:43]  You ever have Kev on stage do it?
[02:02:46]  You know, Kev on Stage, he's a comic.
[02:02:48]  I just saw his new hour, and it's about dealing with the grief of his brother passing away.
[02:02:52]  And it's like the funniest thing, and you cry and then you laugh again.
[02:02:55]  It's fucking Kevin.
[02:02:56]  I'll check him out.
[02:02:57]  Yeah, Kevin is amazing.
[02:02:58]  It's a cool thing.
[02:02:59]  He's a New Yorker.
[02:03:00]  No, Atlanta.
[02:03:01]  Well, now he's in LA at Atlanta.
[02:03:02]  Yeah.
[02:03:03]  Interesting.
[02:03:03]  Anyway, I'm sure you're going to get these pictures more and more as this thing blows the fuck up.
[02:03:07]  That was the cool thing about the old show: people go, I have a story.
[02:03:09]  Can you come watch them?
[02:03:10]  I'm like, 100%.
[02:03:10]  I'll come.
[02:03:11]  Yeah.
[02:03:12]  And then, like, yeah, aim.
[02:03:14]  This is what Nate and I talk about.
[02:03:15]  Nate has a clean network so people can aim for something because all the platforms are gone and he wants them to aim.
[02:03:21]  And there's so much out there that filtration is going to be good.
[02:03:24]  And if, like, I can't have you on, if it's like, oh, we got full or whatever, it's like, I'm sorry you got left with a 12-minute closer you worked hard on that you could use on the road.
[02:03:32]  Yeah.
[02:03:32]  Yeah.
[02:03:32]  That's the other thing.
[02:03:33]  It's like, you know, comedy, comedy when you are really working at it, yeah, reaps amazing rewards.
[02:03:42]  And then sometimes it comes so naturally to people that the hard work is absent.
[02:03:46]  You don't notice it.
[02:03:47]  You don't notice it.
[02:03:48]  I talked about with Cassetta.
[02:03:49]  I was like, if anyone sees your hand in this, you failed.
[02:03:52]  But the amount of work you're doing, I'm like, sounded good.
[02:03:56]  You have no idea how hard he works.
[02:03:58]  You know, you know, it was, you know, the first special that I like recognized sound.
[02:04:02]  Do you know Bill Burr when he did the Royal Albert Hall?
[02:04:07]  Royal Albert Hall.
[02:04:07]  Mike Binder was the director of that one.
[02:04:09]  I think.
[02:04:10]  It was Paper Tiger, I think.
[02:04:11]  Was that Paper Tiger?
[02:04:12]  Maybe.
[02:04:13]  I think so.
[02:04:14]  Okay.
[02:04:14]  I would look up, but I saw this room that looked like the biggest room ever.
[02:04:19]  It's the way that it's shaped.
[02:04:20]  It's beautiful.
[02:04:21]  It's like an unbelievable.
[02:04:22]  That was the first reverse shot that I'm like, this is just a function.
[02:04:25]  It's actually so cool.
[02:04:26]  Usually they do it for some other reason, but I'm like, what are you showing me?
[02:04:28]  They do it for the reason of.
[02:04:30]  Is it?
[02:04:30]  Is it Paper Tiger?
[02:04:31]  So they do it for the reason of look how big the room is.
[02:04:33]  But this room is so cool.
[02:04:35]  I'm playing a big room trying to show off, but it's like, yeah, it was gorgeous.
[02:04:38]  This room is gorgeous.
[02:04:39]  Wow.
[02:04:39]  And it might be the most beautiful shot in a stand-up special.
[02:04:43]  And, but I remember looking at the size of the room and I go, how the fuck?
[02:04:46]  Because, you know, Bill doesn't just do like and punchline and then everybody laughs.
[02:04:50]  He'll talk through punchlines.
[02:04:51]  And when you're in a room that size, you got to wait longer.
[02:04:54]  You got to wait.
[02:04:54]  Like, no, you could hear them laughing and him riding the momentum.
[02:04:58]  And it was a kind of a dance.
[02:05:00]  Wow.
[02:05:00]  And I think what happens is a lot of times audio guys were going inside baseball.
[02:05:04]  The second they hear someone talking, they go, we got to take that exactly.
[02:05:06]  And it's like, no, when you're at a comedy club, sometimes you'll miss a word.
[02:05:10]  Right.
[02:05:10]  Because it's fucking loud.
[02:05:11]  Early Rogan, I saw Rogan, because he was like, when I was a door guy there, he was a crusher.
[02:05:16]  Yeah.
[02:05:17]  Just doing date night stuff and like Tigers fucking and like a crusher.
[02:05:22]  And like, you're like, you see this.
[02:05:24]  It's a drop.
[02:05:24]  It was awful and just like watching comedians.
[02:05:26]  You're like, wow.
[02:05:28]  And I remember people laughing in different parts of a joke.
[02:05:32]  So like they'd be dying.
[02:05:33]  I can't hear you.
[02:05:34]  Now I'm dying.
[02:05:35]  You can't hear.
[02:05:35]  And then it's back and forth on who can hear and who can't.
[02:05:38]  But he was just bully through.
[02:05:40]  And that's what works.
[02:05:40]  That's Boston comedy.
[02:05:41]  Yes.
[02:05:42]  Yeah.
[02:05:42]  Like, I don't have time to breathe because you'll call me a homosexual.
[02:05:45]  Yeah.
[02:05:45]  For real.
[02:05:46]  Yeah.
[02:05:47]  So it's like Patrice.
[02:05:48]  Yeah.
[02:05:49]  It's that style of just kind of stepping on.
[02:05:51]  And I heard it from that special.
[02:05:53]  I was like, wow, whoever did this is brilliant because they found a way to maintain the momentum.
[02:05:59]  And then you're watching it and you kind of get caught up in the momentum.
[02:06:01]  Who did the sound on it?
[02:06:03]  We looked.
[02:06:06]  But and then we got Cassette, I think, for Infamous.
[02:06:10]  And he just fucking did this unbelievable.
[02:06:12]  He gave us a pass for Infamous where he didn't even like touch it.
[02:06:14]  It was the first thing.
[02:06:15]  And I was like, I thought you edited the whole thing.
[02:06:16]  He was like, no, this is what I did live.
[02:06:18]  I got him for Adrian's special.
[02:06:20]  Yeah.
[02:06:21]  Produced at the VU, right?
[02:06:24]  Seller.
[02:06:25]  Oh, you did it at the McDougal?
[02:06:28]  Yeah.
[02:06:28]  McDougal room.
[02:06:29]  Wow.
[02:06:29]  Okay.
[02:06:29]  Cool.
[02:06:30]  Yeah.
[02:06:30]  I try to help some comics do their specials and they each need something different.
[02:06:33]  Yeah.
[02:06:36]  Yeah.
[02:06:37]  She needed money and a director.
[02:06:38]  Yeah.
[02:06:39]  And I was like, I'll get your money back.
[02:06:41]  So I'll put in the money.
[02:06:42]  And then we got the best director, Louis C.K.
[02:06:45]  Yeah, Louis did it.
[02:06:46]  Who made it look so cool?
[02:06:48]  But Cassette put it in there.
[02:06:49]  And it's 144-seat room.
[02:06:51]  God, by the way, so he's so fun talking to Louis about it because he's also a comic.

=== Dad Editing Live Sets (05:05) ===

[02:06:56]  Yeah.
[02:06:56]  So I'm like, I don't want more than 12 seat kills.
[02:06:58]  More than 14.
[02:06:59]  You need nine, nine.
[02:07:02]  We're like, oh, great.
[02:07:03]  Taken care of.
[02:07:04]  I don't have to worry about that all day.
[02:07:05]  But then Cassetta comes in.
[02:07:06]  I'm like, how many mics do you have?
[02:07:08]  He's like, one for every seven people.
[02:07:12]  That's unbelievable.
[02:07:12]  Everyone else puts in like one Zoom and hopes.
[02:07:15]  It's the nice thing about comics putting their own shit out is that we will know who did it, who did it.
[02:07:21]  Sounds like a lot of people.
[02:07:21]  I go off.
[02:07:23]  Teddy Salis was the mixer.
[02:07:24]  Great job, guys.
[02:07:25]  But yeah, like us putting out our own shit, we understand what it should sound like.
[02:07:32]  So I was with Cassetta doing the levels for this before I left town.
[02:07:36]  I was like, get bass levels so you can work while I'm gone.
[02:07:38]  Let's get the right, like lean into the art lead in.
[02:07:43]  And then I was like, you're working on Norman's.
[02:07:45]  And he goes, actually, I just got told that I'm not.
[02:07:48]  Yeah.
[02:07:49]  Because he like, I don't know, he's like, this is costing me way too much money.
[02:07:53]  And I texted Norman.
[02:07:54]  I'm like, dude, you can skimp out on whatever you want.
[02:07:57]  Not the sound.
[02:07:58]  Not the sound.
[02:07:59]  That is money well spent.
[02:08:00]  And then I got to go for the cassette.
[02:08:02]  I was like, did you say something?
[02:08:03]  I'm like, yeah.
[02:08:04]  Yeah.
[02:08:04]  That's his special that just came out.
[02:08:06]  And it sounds great.
[02:08:08]  Telling you, bro.
[02:08:09]  It's the number one.
[02:08:10]  Yeah.
[02:08:11]  And there's one guy that can do it.
[02:08:12]  His name is Tom Cassetta.
[02:08:14]  And Doula.
[02:08:15]  Two guys.
[02:08:16]  And Tom works with Doolittle, right?
[02:08:18]  Now Tom is just doing amazing shit.
[02:08:20]  Anyway.
[02:08:21]  But okay.
[02:08:21]  So before we wrap this up, back to your journey.
[02:08:25]  Yeah.
[02:08:26]  Can I ask you a question?
[02:08:27]  Please.
[02:08:27]  Yes, sir.
[02:08:28]  In your travels.
[02:08:31]  I'm very studious today.
[02:08:32]  That's the vibe.
[02:08:33]  Did you cry at all?
[02:08:36]  Like, was there a moment where you're just like, you cried?
[02:08:39]  Did anything affect you emotionally?
[02:08:40]  Yeah, I was on mushrooms.
[02:08:42]  And beyond what I saw for this later, so the sun is setting and it's like cloud for, like you're way above.
[02:08:48]  When you're way up in the mountains, the sun sets for like an hour because you're like above, you can see the horizon.
[02:08:53]  And I'm just like in a fever dream.
[02:08:54]  I'm writing all what I got to do out that you'll see when you get it.
[02:09:00]  Yeah, I thought about my dad as a real person for the first time, maybe ever, and not this guy I grew up with and what like a teddy bear he is and how much he loves his grandkids.
[02:09:08]  And like, yeah.
[02:09:11]  And then I was with a bunch of people and we were in this Outlook all on shrooms.
[02:09:16]  And then I went to the bathroom and they cut out a hole in the bathroom so you could see this view.
[02:09:20]  And I just had a nice cry.
[02:09:23]  I just had a good, nice cry.
[02:09:26]  Why, were you and him estranged?
[02:09:28]  Not as strange, but like you know, he was the not scoldy, but he was like he ran it strict, yeah.
[02:09:34]  And then so you didn't get the lovey part, it was still loving, but it, but it's just like not like with those grands from what I've known him now.
[02:09:40]  It's like you spent way more time being this teddy bear than being this guy who was disappointed that I ate cheeseburgers.
[02:09:47]  That was like actually a minor part of my life, yeah, right.
[02:09:50]  Way longer, it's just like he's just like so happy to be able to cook for me, and like, oh, really?
[02:09:55]  Like, I'm gonna make you sauteed onions, you love it.
[02:09:57]  It's just like, oh, yeah.
[02:09:59]  And then I was like, I'm gonna call him way more on this trip because he did it.
[02:10:03]  He went to America, he took a boat to America in like the 60s.
[02:10:08]  No way, yeah, and had his own vagabond experience.
[02:10:11]  Where was he from?
[02:10:12]  Romania, and then they relocated to Israel after Romania lost a war badly.
[02:10:17]  Oh, no.
[02:10:18]  Um, yeah, spent time in a camp and then got freed, and then they moved to Israel.
[02:10:22]  And then when he got out of the army, he came here.
[02:10:24]  Wow.
[02:10:25]  Um, started a life.
[02:10:26]  So I'm like, oh, you, I should, you know, I should include you in this more.
[02:10:30]  So he's proud of me, and I'm like, I should include you.
[02:10:33]  So yeah, that was a definitely a good question.
[02:10:34]  How old is he?
[02:10:37]  I think he's almost 90.
[02:10:39]  Wow.
[02:10:39]  Yeah.
[02:10:39]  Or just turning.
[02:10:41]  That's awesome.
[02:10:41]  It is a weird thing because like your dad is your dad for like 16 years, 17 years, you know.
[02:10:46]  And then you're on your own.
[02:10:47]  And then he's mostly just like a cool guy, you know?
[02:10:49]  Yeah.
[02:10:50]  Greg Fitzsimmons told me this, which I think a lot of parents need to know.
[02:10:52]  And I'm like, how's your relationship with your kid now that he's like grown up?
[02:10:56]  It's like, he goes, it's great.
[02:10:57]  I have made a friend.
[02:10:59]  He is my friend.
[02:11:00]  We're into the same sports teams.
[02:11:01]  I just never can lose track of, I'm not the advice giver anymore.
[02:11:08]  And if I give him advice, it's just like me giving anyone advice.
[02:11:11]  And they're not asking.
[02:11:12]  The asks I can offer, but I don't run his life anymore.
[02:11:15]  So he's on his own.
[02:11:17]  And I just always have to remember that.
[02:11:18]  And those parties have so much advice for 18 years.
[02:11:20]  They have that memory.
[02:11:21]  Like, I remember my dad as the guy that was in charge of me.
[02:11:24]  And my dad remembers me as like the person who he's in charge of.
[02:11:27]  When the reality is, we're just two men that hang.
[02:11:30]  Yeah.
[02:11:30]  What kind of scotch do you like?
[02:11:31]  I like this.
[02:11:32]  Petey, that's crazy.
[02:11:33]  Oh, I like smooth.
[02:11:34]  Oh, okay.
[02:11:34]  Yeah.
[02:11:35]  Oh, hey, good taste.
[02:11:36]  Man, what a transition for the dad.
[02:11:39]  Yeah, to not be the mom, I think, is worse because you're really like caregiver.
[02:11:44]  But you can kind of keep doing that, though.
[02:11:46]  Yeah, I feel like mom's like, I'm not stopping that.
[02:11:49]  Yeah, and we kind of want that.
[02:11:51]  Yeah.
[02:11:51]  Yeah.
[02:11:51]  You kind of want the nurturing all the way to the end.
[02:11:53]  Yeah.
[02:11:53]  You know?
[02:11:54]  But dad, you really kind of lose woof.
[02:11:58]  Yeah.
[02:11:58]  Yeah.
[02:11:59]  Crazy to think about.
[02:11:59]  It's disciplinarian for all this time and then it just stops.

=== Sports Advice Parties (11:24) ===

[02:12:02]  Yeah.
[02:12:03]  Your mom, you still live in the same state as your mom's city.
[02:12:06]  Yeah.
[02:12:07]  If you get sick, she'd be like, please let me come over.
[02:12:10]  No?
[02:12:10]  Nice.
[02:12:12]  It's funny, bro.
[02:12:15]  I'll bring your teddy bear.
[02:12:16]  No.
[02:12:16]  Maybe that could be a story.
[02:12:18]  No.
[02:12:19]  No.
[02:12:19]  Who brings you Blanky then?
[02:12:21]  My wife doesn't even take care of me when I'm sick, to be honest with you.
[02:12:24]  I'm the same way.
[02:12:24]  I'm like, get out of here.
[02:12:25]  I don't need your topic.
[02:12:27]  I'm complaining like crazy.
[02:12:28]  And I just roll right through her empathy.
[02:12:31]  She got a short empathy battery.
[02:12:32]  It's like turbo in one of the racing games.
[02:12:35]  And she goes through that so fast.
[02:12:38]  Yeah.
[02:12:39]  Man's real good.
[02:12:40]  Dude, I went to a game in Guatemala.
[02:12:42]  What type of game?
[02:12:42]  Rivalry game.
[02:12:43]  What type of game?
[02:12:44]  Soccer.
[02:12:46]  Is that this?
[02:12:47]  Is that what you have up there?
[02:12:48]  Oh, yeah.
[02:12:49]  We got some odds for the World Cup.
[02:12:51]  But anyway, go on.
[02:12:52]  So there's like a game.
[02:12:54]  I'm like, sick.
[02:12:54]  I'll go.
[02:12:55]  There's any local sports.
[02:12:56]  I'm like, let me check it out.
[02:12:57]  Pluminense game in Brazil.
[02:12:59]  It's fun.
[02:13:00]  And so I'm there and it's a rivalry game, which means no liquor.
[02:13:04]  I'm like, okay.
[02:13:05]  And everyone parties outside.
[02:13:06]  I love it.
[02:13:07]  Everyone partying outside.
[02:13:08]  And then it starts pouring rain.
[02:13:10]  So we're, this is Shella.
[02:13:12]  And so he's all pouring into these bodegas and everyone's drinking and stuff.
[02:13:15]  And these guys are like, what are you for?
[02:13:18]  Why are you here?
[02:13:19]  You're clearly whites.
[02:13:20]  Guatemala, the shortest country in the world.
[02:13:23]  Really?
[02:13:24]  Yeah.
[02:13:24]  Do you have any handyman?
[02:13:25]  They're all five, six, and below.
[02:13:28]  People go, like, what happens to the Mayans?
[02:13:30]  They disappeared.
[02:13:30]  And it's like, no, we didn't.
[02:13:31]  We just put on t-shirts.
[02:13:32]  Yeah, they were in Guatemala City.
[02:13:34]  Coronas were just tiny.
[02:13:37]  So anyway, we start talking.
[02:13:38]  I was like, what do I got to know?
[02:13:40]  They start teaching me chance, you know.
[02:13:43]  Dale Dale, super cheeky, but they teach me all these fucking things.
[02:13:46]  And then like, and the seven-time cup winners of Guatemala, like, and it's like, and then like, all right, learning these chants.
[02:13:52]  And then I'm like, there's no, there's no liquor in there.
[02:13:54]  So we got to get drunk here.
[02:13:55]  He goes, there's liquor in there.
[02:13:57]  I'm like, what do you mean?
[02:13:57]  Like, we sneak it in.
[02:13:58]  I'm like, what do you take a bottle?
[02:14:00]  No.
[02:14:00]  They take little baggies, pour Quetzalteca.
[02:14:05]  That's like their local bathtub liquor, pour it in there, and then like spin it up and tie it, put it in their balls.
[02:14:11]  No way.
[02:14:12]  Yeah.
[02:14:12]  And I'm like, so you have a bag on you?
[02:14:14]  He goes, bro, I have 11.
[02:14:17]  I'm like, what?
[02:14:18]  He goes, under each arm, all around here.
[02:14:20]  What if they touch your sack?
[02:14:21]  It's a sack as a sack.
[02:14:22]  It's a sack.
[02:14:23]  What are they going to know?
[02:14:24]  And then you pull it out, you bite them and just suck it all out.
[02:14:28]  And so that, yeah, bro.
[02:14:30]  How good was that?
[02:14:31]  You got fucked up, huh?
[02:14:32]  Fucked up.
[02:14:34]  And so, and so then, and so then I'm like, I'm like, all right, where am I sitting?
[02:14:37]  I'm like, well, I'm not going to sit.
[02:14:39]  I researched where to sit.
[02:14:40]  You don't sit.
[02:14:40]  You definitely don't sit in the away section.
[02:14:41]  Of course.
[02:14:42]  And I'm like every season.
[02:14:44]  Like, you can't do that either because I don't know enough.
[02:14:46]  But they're teaching me chance.
[02:14:47]  I'm like, no, I'm sitting kitty corner like right here, you guys.
[02:14:50]  The taste of dudes' dicks, bro.
[02:14:52]  Bro.
[02:14:53]  It's so stopping.
[02:14:56]  It's so sweet in a way.
[02:14:58]  It's like tropical pineapple.
[02:15:02]  The hooker was like, I can spit on it.
[02:15:04]  I was like, nah, nah.
[02:15:06]  No, I'm ready to go back.
[02:15:08]  That's my favorite part.
[02:15:11]  He taught me how to do my own.
[02:15:13]  So, so, so I'm like, I'm not saying, he goes, no, sit with us.
[02:15:16]  And I'm like, why?
[02:15:16]  He goes, no, I can't, but there's not seats.
[02:15:18]  There's like sections.
[02:15:19]  Yeah.
[02:15:20]  And he goes, sit with us.
[02:15:21]  I'm like, are you sure?
[02:15:22]  I taught you the chance.
[02:15:23]  You're fine.
[02:15:23]  They had this giant, like 30-foot-long flag.
[02:15:26]  And as they bring it in, like, grab it, grab it.
[02:15:28]  Pretend you're like one of the holders.
[02:15:29]  So I'm like, I'm in there.
[02:15:30]  And then like, I'm in the section.
[02:15:32]  So I'm in there.
[02:15:33]  I'm like, nice.
[02:15:33]  It's got me and like three dudes in the hostel and then all luscious dicks.
[02:15:37]  And then, and then some guy taps me on the shoulder.
[02:15:41]  He goes, in Spanish, I forget exactly, but he goes, you can't be here.
[02:15:44]  And I was like, what?
[02:15:45]  And he goes, and then he spoke to English.
[02:15:47]  He goes, you cannot sit here.
[02:15:49]  And I was like, oh, okay.
[02:15:51]  And then that dude way up, he goes, he's cool.
[02:15:53]  He's with us.
[02:15:53]  And he goes, okay.
[02:15:56]  And then, dude, fireworks, everything, like right next to you, just, it's so fucking fun.
[02:16:01]  They do sports so much better than we do.
[02:16:04]  Yeah.
[02:16:06]  Is it because the people it's like a 5,000 seater too?
[02:16:10]  It wasn't even.
[02:16:11]  It wasn't even like those.
[02:16:12]  Yeah.
[02:16:12]  It wasn't even like a crazy thing.
[02:16:13]  That's so cool.
[02:16:14]  I mean, you've heard like, who was it, Jokic, like talking about it?
[02:16:17]  Maybe it was Luca.
[02:16:19]  Yeah.
[02:16:19]  Talking about like playing in America.
[02:16:21]  I'm not nervous.
[02:16:22]  I played in this.
[02:16:23]  Yeah, Serbian Basketball League.
[02:16:24]  Have you ever seen the videos of that?
[02:16:26]  It's like this crazy thing.
[02:16:27]  Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[02:16:27]  Flares and shit indoors and drums and stuff.
[02:16:29]  He's like, that's what I grew up with.
[02:16:31]  The drums.
[02:16:31]  Somebody takes like a full marching band drum and they're beating it.
[02:16:35]  Yeah.
[02:16:35]  They go for it.
[02:16:36]  That was just like Ben Stiller on four seats or something.
[02:16:39]  Like his biggest concern.
[02:16:41]  It's so different.
[02:16:42]  Like even for the baseball games, they were going crazy.
[02:16:44]  Going crazy.
[02:16:45]  Same vibe.
[02:16:45]  Jetty drums.
[02:16:46]  Everybody knows the chance.
[02:16:48]  I met a dude who knows.
[02:16:50]  I met a dude who I was wearing.
[02:16:52]  I took only stuff that I could deal with not bringing home.
[02:16:56]  I'm like, there's a chance this doesn't come back with me.
[02:16:59]  Yeah.
[02:16:59]  Right.
[02:17:01]  So I took a Yankee giveaway nasty Nestor shirt because he's not on the Yankees anymore.
[02:17:06]  Just his mustache.
[02:17:07]  Nasty Nestor, who rules, Nestor Cortez.
[02:17:09]  And I had it with me.
[02:17:10]  Some guy sent me a beer and I'm like, okay.
[02:17:13]  Then he sent me another one.
[02:17:14]  I tried to send him.
[02:17:14]  He's like, no, no, no.
[02:17:15]  And then I went over, talked to him.
[02:17:16]  I'm like, I don't want the, I can afford a beer, but like, he's 16.
[02:17:19]  He's with his mom.
[02:17:20]  I didn't realize he wasn't of age.
[02:17:22]  Because I love the Yankees.
[02:17:23]  I'm a huge Yankees fan.
[02:17:24]  I'm a huge Kansas City Chiefs fans.
[02:17:26]  I saw your nasty Nessa shirt.
[02:17:27]  I think it's so cool.
[02:17:28]  Bought me like two more beers, and eventually I'm like, bro, this is yours.
[02:17:32]  He goes, no fucking way.
[02:17:34]  And I just made his day.
[02:17:35]  And it's like, it's a Yankee giveaway.
[02:17:37]  I'm like, it's from the stadium.
[02:17:38]  It's just harmless the rest of the day.
[02:17:43]  Yeah.
[02:17:44]  There's one rule I live by, and it is: sun's out, guns out.
[02:17:50]  Sun was out.
[02:17:51]  That's awesome.
[02:17:52]  Do they play baseball, Mexican?
[02:17:54]  Mexico, yeah, for sure.
[02:17:55]  Dominican Republic is the wildest.
[02:17:57]  Yeah.
[02:17:57]  DRs.
[02:17:58]  Like, even the way they play, like, the style of play.
[02:18:00]  Like, do they do anything?
[02:18:01]  Like, the way you watch it.
[02:18:02]  They're like, get a home run.
[02:18:03]  They put this elephant head on you, like a Ganiche head, and then they knight you.
[02:18:09]  And then it's crazy.
[02:18:11]  It's so fun.
[02:18:12]  Wait, Guerrero's rule.
[02:18:14]  Yeah, dude.
[02:18:14]  Guerrero's are electric.
[02:18:16]  What's the standings right now?
[02:18:17]  Can you bet on that fucking Mexican league baseball?
[02:18:20]  I looked it up.
[02:18:21]  You can't?
[02:18:21]  I tried.
[02:18:21]  I looked out.
[02:18:22]  I mean, you can.
[02:18:23]  It might be on season now.
[02:18:24]  The playoffs was in like August.
[02:18:28]  Close.
[02:18:28]  Oh, that's so sick.
[02:18:29]  Do you miss it at all?
[02:18:31]  Yes, hella.
[02:18:32]  Interesting.
[02:18:32]  Hella.
[02:18:34]  Yeah.
[02:18:34]  The freedom, the complete lack of responsibility.
[02:18:41]  And I started, as I'm coming back, I started talking to Eric online about like, let me do some of these edits.
[02:18:45]  Let me make sure this is all run right.
[02:18:47]  And like, how do we plan this?
[02:18:49]  Telling him my vision that I saw of how we're going to like frame the show.
[02:18:56]  But I'll deal with it in a week.
[02:18:58]  Nope.
[02:18:58]  And now it's like, I just remember every time I get back, it's like, oh, shit.
[02:19:02]  But I'm going to go this way.
[02:19:03]  And then somebody tells you about some place.
[02:19:05]  And you're like, fuck it.
[02:19:07]  Yeah, fuck it.
[02:19:08]  I'm going this way.
[02:19:08]  That's so fucking dope.
[02:19:10]  Except for meeting O'Neal in Machu Picchu and being in Ushuaia on December 19th.
[02:19:15]  That was the only thing.
[02:19:16]  Yeah.
[02:19:17]  And is there a part of you that, if you didn't have to, have to is a wrong word, but like if you weren't creating, you would like to just do that as your life.
[02:19:25]  There is, you know, how you look back on your life and you're like, there's a sliding doors moment where you're like, you might not have done this if you took a job, you know, and something.
[02:19:32]  And it was like close.
[02:19:33]  You were down to the last two of getting this job and you wouldn't have, if I got the job building website, it's a health network or discovery channel.
[02:19:38]  I wouldn't be a stand-up.
[02:19:39]  And I was trying for it and I was close.
[02:19:41]  Or make there's on this trip, there's a step or two where I'm just not coming home.
[02:19:46]  Wow.
[02:19:48]  I felt that when I was living in Barcelona.
[02:19:49]  Just like, why am I going about that?
[02:19:51]  I was living like 10 euros a day, five euros spent to get into the nightclub.
[02:19:55]  Cresh food.
[02:19:56]  It was so much fun.
[02:19:57]  I was with these guys who were kind of like, no tips, expected.
[02:20:02]  One person tells you that fisherman story and you're like, four pounds?
[02:20:04]  Yeah, why am I working so hard?
[02:20:06]  I should just fish all day.
[02:20:07]  Yeah.
[02:20:07]  What the hell am I doing?
[02:20:08]  But yeah, right.
[02:20:09]  And you're just like, maybe I just won't actually.
[02:20:10]  And it was an option.
[02:20:12]  I got scared.
[02:20:13]  I was like, ooh, this is too comfortable.
[02:20:16]  I got to get back to this isn't reality.
[02:20:17]  Yeah.
[02:20:18]  One good date, and then you're stuck there.
[02:20:20]  Yeah.
[02:20:20]  One good date and you don't leave.
[02:20:22]  Isn't that crazy?
[02:20:22]  Yeah.
[02:20:23]  It is reality.
[02:20:24]  It is.
[02:20:24]  Why can't it be?
[02:20:25]  And my friends there, that kind of was their life.
[02:20:28]  Some like Russian kid who moved there and he was there kind of illegally and he was finding ways to make ends meet.
[02:20:33]  And like we were living in some illegal dwelling and like fucking with the electric meter so we didn't have to pay electricity.
[02:20:40]  But the life was great.
[02:20:42]  And I was like, I gotta, I gotta look back in.
[02:20:44]  Right.
[02:20:44]  There's a brave, there's a bravery in accepting the mundane, though, I think.
[02:20:48]  Like being like, you know, I mean, if you have to raise a kid and you're trying to man up about it and you want to leave, you want to be like rabbit or something, running, but like, overall, no.
[02:20:59]  No, that's a cowardice.
[02:21:01]  No, no, no.
[02:21:01]  I think like almost accepting mediocrity to be like, you know what?
[02:21:04]  This is good enough.
[02:21:05]  Like what I have is enough.
[02:21:06]  And I don't need to, I don't want, I don't need to chase this crazy dream.
[02:21:09]  Whatever I have in front of me.
[02:21:11]  Appreciate that.
[02:21:11]  Yeah, That's what he meant by mundane.
[02:21:13]  Like if you're just living a life in some random town in South America, this is awesome.
[02:21:18]  Yeah.
[02:21:18]  And I am now appreciating the little things here, brushing my teeth with sink water.
[02:21:23]  Oh, yeah.
[02:21:23]  It's like a joy that I know I'll lose, but I every time, like, no, this is crazy what I'm doing right now.
[02:21:28]  It's weird how you're like flushing toilet paper instead of throwing it away where someone else can smell it.
[02:21:34]  Yeah, your brain turns back on when you come back to the first world.
[02:21:38]  I'm saying that I'm still seeing this as an outsider, so I'm starting to see what people are doing.
[02:21:42]  The amount everyone here is consumed with politics.
[02:21:46]  Oh, dude, is kind of wild.
[02:21:49]  I forgot about it.
[02:21:49]  And you come back, the mothership green room.
[02:21:51]  I'm like, guys, there's sports going on.
[02:21:53]  Yeah, say something.
[02:21:55]  There's tell me about a chick that was hot.
[02:21:57]  Something too.
[02:21:58]  Yeah.
[02:21:59]  Did you ever see someone with surreal palsy fall?
[02:22:01]  Mention that.
[02:22:03]  These are fun moments.
[02:22:04]  Let's connect.
[02:22:05]  Yeah.
[02:22:05]  No, it just becomes like part of culture.
[02:22:08]  Yeah.
[02:22:08]  And it's like, do you guys even care about this for real?
[02:22:12]  Like for real, for real?
[02:22:13]  Are you expected to care?
[02:22:14]  I don't, I don't know if it's expected to care.
[02:22:17]  It's all around.
[02:22:18]  I just think it's all in a company.
[02:22:19]  So they're like, everyone's talking about this.
[02:22:21]  I guess I'm okay.
[02:22:23]  They told me you're not into football and the Super Bowl is happening.
[02:22:26]  You're going to sort of be into it.
[02:22:27]  Yeah.
[02:22:27]  I don't care about the Oscars.
[02:22:28]  I hate actors.
[02:22:29]  But when the officers comes up, it's in my purview.
[02:22:31]  Yes.
[02:22:32]  So I guess that's what happens here.
[02:22:33]  And it's inescapable if you're spending six hours on your phone.
[02:22:36]  Right.
[02:22:36]  Which is what's going on.
[02:22:37]  And then you get affected by it.
[02:22:38]  And they pull the move of if you're not political, you're actually privileged.
[02:22:41]  Like you're actually privileged.
[02:22:42]  Which I take that privilege.
[02:22:43]  I get that privilege.
[02:22:44]  The sentiment.
[02:22:45]  Nice privilege.
[02:22:46]  I get it, but it's also like, but also, you know, who else is not political?
[02:22:49]  Some fucking struggling Dominican in the Bronx.
[02:22:52]  You know, who's like, I don't have, I don't have time for that.
[02:22:54]  I'm trying to pay my rent.
[02:22:55]  Yeah.
[02:22:56]  So it's like, no, I actually think it's an act of revolution.
[02:22:59]  They'd be like, I'm not caring about this.
[02:23:01]  Let me ask you how your kid is or your, you know, something.
[02:23:05]  Let's talk in real life one-on-one.
[02:23:06]  Let's actually connect my friends.
[02:23:08]  That's the way to fight back.
[02:23:10]  Let's go see a movie, man.
[02:23:11]  Tell me something good.
[02:23:13]  Instead of like, find out what some politician did in some place that you have, you know, it'll affect you, but you can't change.
[02:23:20]  I don't know.
[02:23:20]  Let's hang out.
[02:23:22]  I agree with you.

=== Revolution Through Connection (14:38) ===

[02:23:26]  A couple weird questions.
[02:23:27]  Oh, did your body have to get used to the food?
[02:23:30]  Because, like, the water, different.
[02:23:33]  I brought back with me a diarrhea from Mexican, from Brazilian street meet at Carnival that stayed with me for two weeks.
[02:23:42]  And I just took a solid log.
[02:23:44]  I mean, just took one.
[02:23:48]  Yeah, because that's rough.
[02:23:49]  Like, what do you do with the water and shit?
[02:23:50]  Like, you can't.
[02:23:52]  I got food for like four times.
[02:23:53]  Oh, wow.
[02:23:54]  Bobby Kelly said this.
[02:23:55]  It's funny.
[02:23:55]  He goes, it is safer, it is more dangerous to brush your teeth with tap water there than it is to brush your teeth here with toilet water.
[02:24:05]  Oh, yeah.
[02:24:05]  Yeah, that's probably how crazy we live.
[02:24:09]  We have drinkable toilet water.
[02:24:12]  Yeah, I used to joke about that, but like most countries don't have water, and I take a shit in drinking water every single day.
[02:24:18]  Yeah, it is wild.
[02:24:19]  The things that book, but like how First World War, like, I'm not when you flush before you shit.
[02:24:24]  We were like, I'm not shitting on pissy water.
[02:24:27]  That's so true.
[02:24:28]  I'm a fruit plant.
[02:24:29]  Yeah, I do too.
[02:24:29]  Yeah.
[02:24:32]  Yeah.
[02:24:33]  So, what was the question?
[02:24:34]  No, no, no.
[02:24:34]  It was just about did your body get used to.
[02:24:37]  Yeah, my knees got fucked from carrying around 75 pounds on me all the time.
[02:24:40]  My knees were both like fucked, and they're now recovering.
[02:24:43]  But it was like running with this backpack, and it was like, not great for you.
[02:24:48]  How many pairs of pants?
[02:24:49]  Like, how many pairs of sneakers?
[02:24:50]  Like, what is the bring?
[02:24:52]  Pack super light.
[02:24:53]  What do you think we can get?
[02:24:55]  One backpack, one Osprey, 55 liter with a with a 15 extra zip-off pouch.
[02:25:01]  Um, pack has to be able to overhead in case.
[02:25:04]  But give me, give me the quantity of maintenance.
[02:25:07]  A pair of hiking pants, a pair of jeans.
[02:25:09]  Beans also, most people are like, don't bring jeans, that's too heavy.
[02:25:11]  But but I like jeans, I wear jeans.
[02:25:13]  Even when it's hot, I wear jeans.
[02:25:15]  Um, pair of jeans, pair of hiking pants, shoes They have to be usable for two things.
[02:25:21]  So, hiking shoes that are dark enough color that I could wear if I went to a decent restaurant.
[02:25:25]  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
[02:25:26]  Um, hiking boots, zero chance.
[02:25:28]  No, but way too big.
[02:25:29]  Yeah, yeah.
[02:25:29]  Take half yourself.
[02:25:30]  When you go to Machu Picchu, anything you need to rent in Cusco for that guy, you could show up with shorts and nothing else and you could rent it.
[02:25:36]  Okay, okay.
[02:25:37]  Yeah, right.
[02:25:37]  So, rented boots, I rented every rain gear, um, poncho, one of those little ones for the rain.
[02:25:45]  Uh, yeah, your pills, zithromycin.
[02:25:49]  Uh, so you'll take eight months of pills?
[02:25:52]  No, but but enough Z passed.
[02:25:54]  I hate to say this, but the healthcare system here is pales in comparison to what you mean.
[02:26:00]  You can just walk into the pharmacy, get whatever.
[02:26:02]  I need a trip.
[02:26:02]  I need zithromycin, 500 milligram food.
[02:26:04]  Like, okay, wow, what no one's ODing on this.
[02:26:08]  Yeah, you're naming it.
[02:26:10]  You definitely want that.
[02:26:11]  I had to get my eye treated.
[02:26:12]  I got pink eye from some fucking hostel in Peru.
[02:26:15]  And I went into a pharmacist and I'm like, hey, he goes, is it itchy or is it pain?
[02:26:22]  Is it wet or is it dry?
[02:26:24]  And I told him, he's like, all right, all right, take these drops three times a day for five days.
[02:26:28]  Should be clear.
[02:26:29]  It was.
[02:26:30]  There's no, I have to go to a doctor who then has to tell you to go to another doctor, who then has to tell you to go to a pharmacist.
[02:26:36]  Even with insurance, you're still paying more than I paid for the same chemicals there.
[02:26:40]  How annoying is that?
[02:26:41]  You go to a doctor, they go, yeah, you pick it up over there.
[02:26:43]  It's a place where you're pretty annoying.
[02:26:44]  Yeah.
[02:26:45]  So I had to get a cortisone shot in my knee.
[02:26:48]  I had surgery and it was like wearing off from all the stress.
[02:26:50]  In Brazil, I went to a doctor in Salvador and he was like, okay, let's do it.
[02:26:54]  I had to wait all day.
[02:26:55]  But still, but you got to get it down there.
[02:26:56]  Yeah.
[02:26:57]  And then a day later, I'm like, oh, I'm fine again.
[02:26:58]  And you weren't in a rush.
[02:26:59]  No.
[02:27:00]  How'd you get pink eye?
[02:27:01]  Do you know?
[02:27:01]  What?
[02:27:02]  Do you know how you got pink-eyed?
[02:27:03]  I don't always wash these sheets right at these hostels.
[02:27:06]  You're just like, oh, I'm just going to make this bed.
[02:27:10]  They nickname Barrel's hostels there.
[02:27:12]  Dude, I was like, yeah, I was in East Timor a long time ago when I went to Southeast Asia and I was in Dili, the capital, and I picked a zip.
[02:27:20]  And then I didn't realize, but it was bleeding.
[02:27:23]  Not heavily, but a little bit.
[02:27:24]  And I laid on the pillow.
[02:27:25]  I was like, ah, shit.
[02:27:26]  And there's this little piece of blood that big.
[02:27:29]  And then I went on this like motorcycle rod moped ride around the country for about a week and came back to that hostel.
[02:27:34]  I was like, oh, I got my bed again.
[02:27:35]  And that bucket pit blood is right there on it still.
[02:27:38]  And I'm like, you know, guys.
[02:27:41]  No.
[02:27:41]  Once you get bed bugs, the words out.
[02:27:43]  You're done as a business.
[02:27:44]  Yeah.
[02:27:45]  Yeah.
[02:27:45]  You got to really search like reviews for bed bugs.
[02:27:48]  If you see any, like, can't stay here.
[02:27:49]  I cannot stay here.
[02:27:50]  I can't risk throwing away all my stuff.
[02:27:52]  So if you buy any shirt, if you bought like a, like a, you know, a Shella jersey, I got a Chucka t-shirt.
[02:27:59]  Ooh.
[02:28:01]  I had a hoodie that I brought that I don't need from Chilco Charlie's.
[02:28:05]  They gave me an anchorage.
[02:28:06]  And I was like, I have no, I didn't play there, so I have no emotional connections.
[02:28:09]  It was a black hook.
[02:28:10]  And I ended up, I lost it and something bad happened and I lost it, got blood all over it.
[02:28:16]  It was done.
[02:28:16]  And then what bad?
[02:28:18]  There's like we, me and O'Neal found it, we found a kid.
[02:28:25]  Yeah, whatever.
[02:28:26]  What?
[02:28:28]  Yeah, it was, it was stressful.
[02:28:35]  Yeah, just some kid was hurt and we had a is he okay?
[02:28:39]  Yeah, he survived.
[02:28:40]  Well, see, say that part of the fucking story.
[02:28:42]  Yeah, right.
[02:28:42]  Jesus.
[02:28:43]  This is at Machu Picchu.
[02:28:44]  No, this is near Rainbow Mountain near Peru, near Cusco.
[02:28:48]  He got an accident?
[02:28:49]  Yeah, him and his sister.
[02:28:50]  Is she okay?
[02:28:51]  Yeah, they're both fine.
[02:28:52]  Okay.
[02:28:53]  Life-threatening injuries?
[02:28:54]  Oh, yeah.
[02:28:55]  And you guys were the first ones on the scene?
[02:28:57]  Yeah.
[02:28:58]  Oh, my God.
[02:28:59]  Yeah.
[02:28:59]  And you got to get them.
[02:28:59]  I got pretty fucked up by it, to be honest.
[02:29:01]  You brought them to a place?
[02:29:02]  Yeah, we brought him to a hospital.
[02:29:04]  We were in the middle of nowhere.
[02:29:04]  These are villager kids.
[02:29:06]  What the hell?
[02:29:07]  Yeah.
[02:29:07]  Oh, did you ever like any run-ins with like cartel and shit like that?
[02:29:11]  Median, one.
[02:29:12]  Oh, outside of it.
[02:29:13]  Yeah, but no, no, no.
[02:29:14]  Nah.
[02:29:16]  Anyway, the sweatshirt's gone.
[02:29:20]  So then it's like, sick, I get to get a new, I get to get a new uh, look at the positive, I get to get a new um something from local that I'll have as a souvenir in a memory of a place.
[02:29:28]  Yeah, um, wow, that is a good way to look at it.
[02:29:31]  Yeah, that's nice.
[02:29:33]  And some kid got a new sweatshirt, yeah.
[02:29:34]  And then at some point, when I left the Andes, I was like, I don't need warm weather stuff anymore.
[02:29:38]  I'm chucking this shit because I've been carried around for forever.
[02:29:41]  Yeah, any experiences with like uh witches, uh, spiritual stuff.
[02:29:47]  Yeah, I just told this story on Tom was interviewing me about my trip, but yeah, I found a witch in Abruja in Peru, in Lima.
[02:29:57]  I mean, I just told us on Ubi Tripping.
[02:29:59]  Did she believe you believed it?
[02:30:01]  No, sorry, did she, did you believe she believed it?
[02:30:04]  Oh, yeah, did you believe it?
[02:30:06]  Dude, she had so yeah, we all went to the witch market in Lima in a place.
[02:30:13]  Do not go there.
[02:30:15]  Why?
[02:30:15]  It is dangerous.
[02:30:17]  In what way?
[02:30:17]  It outside of the there's a witch market area of a main market, but just outside that market, it is locals.
[02:30:23]  Like, I am not dropping you off a block away.
[02:30:26]  They'll rob you?
[02:30:26]  Oh, yes.
[02:30:27]  Why'd you go?
[02:30:28]  I wanted to see the witch market.
[02:30:30]  I listen, I travel a lot.
[02:30:31]  I'm not a good traveler.
[02:30:34]  I have some notes here and there.
[02:30:36]  Like, I have good advice.
[02:30:37]  I'm not good.
[02:30:38]  I was in Athens playing.
[02:30:39]  And at the end of my show, I'm like, I'm going to walk home.
[02:30:41]  So nice out, you know.
[02:30:43]  And the guy's like, no, I'll drive you home.
[02:30:46]  And I was like, nah, it's nice.
[02:30:47]  It's 70 degrees out.
[02:30:48]  I'm in Athens.
[02:30:49]  I want to see it.
[02:30:50]  And he goes, no, no, I'll drive you home.
[02:30:52]  And I was like, bro, I travel a lot.
[02:30:54]  I'll be fine.
[02:30:55]  He goes, well, then you would know you're going to walk right through Harrowin Alley and they will rob you.
[02:31:00]  I'm like, oh, no, I didn't.
[02:31:01]  He goes, I'll drive you further away if you want to walk.
[02:31:04]  They're like, no, I can't let you walk through there.
[02:31:07]  Fair.
[02:31:07]  And what is a witch market?
[02:31:09]  So they have like fresh produce area.
[02:31:12]  They have, they have like shoes area.
[02:31:14]  All the goods are in one place.
[02:31:17]  All pants, all indigenous garbs, all like plumbing equipment.
[02:31:20]  So it's like 20 stores in a row.
[02:31:21]  And then in this one, certain ones have like something unique to just there.
[02:31:27]  So just a bunch of witches.
[02:31:29]  It's all this like crazy fruit you've never heard of in Brazil.
[02:31:32]  And it's all these witches.
[02:31:33]  And they're at the same time.
[02:31:34]  Some real, some are fakers, according to them.
[02:31:37]  They're like, oh, she's real.
[02:31:38]  He's real.
[02:31:39]  Don't listen to him.
[02:31:39]  Don't listen to him.
[02:31:40]  Don't listen to her.
[02:31:41]  And how are they dressed?
[02:31:44]  Indigenous garb, not like hats, but just like some Bolivians.
[02:31:49]  Tons of spells, tons of brews, and like, and like ground up frog.
[02:31:54]  What did you ask for?
[02:31:56]  I didn't ask for any.
[02:31:57]  I asked for to get my coca leaves read.
[02:31:59]  And I was like, fun.
[02:32:01]  I asked about this show the end.
[02:32:03]  So they go, she goes, so I'm there with a few people from the hostel.
[02:32:06]  I hooked up with one of them and they're getting their tarot card read.
[02:32:10]  I'm cutting once a month.
[02:32:11]  I had to do my ads for my podcast and then do all my, hey, my Instagram stories I sent off to one person at YMH would forward to everybody.
[02:32:20]  Like, check out, you know, Tom Rhodes on my podcast.
[02:32:22]  Okay, check out this guy on my podcast.
[02:32:24]  I pre-recorded 100.
[02:32:26]  Yeah.
[02:32:26]  So I had a year plus of podcasts that would just come out.
[02:32:30]  Bomb gone.
[02:32:30]  Yeah.
[02:32:30]  I did it right.
[02:32:33]  They're off getting their tarot read.
[02:32:36]  This guy stops in the middle and looked at one of the chicks and was like, There's a guy that you've had sex with who is cursed.
[02:32:46]  And these two chicks are getting their tarot read.
[02:32:49]  He stops in the middle of it and talks about an unrelated person who he's never met.
[02:32:53]  I was off on my own thing way away.
[02:32:55]  I didn't drop them off at the door.
[02:32:57]  They went and found this guy.
[02:32:58]  He's cursed and he needs a Cooinegro treatment cleansing.
[02:33:03]  A cool what?
[02:33:04]  Cool.
[02:33:05]  A black guinea pig.
[02:33:10]  No, I'm helping you, bro.
[02:33:11]  You're like, what?
[02:33:12]  You're like, yeah.
[02:33:13]  That's so much.
[02:33:16]  And they told me later.
[02:33:17]  They're like, he stopped.
[02:33:18]  And then they went back to the tarot and he went back.
[02:33:19]  It was, hey, I'm not joking.
[02:33:21]  You've been connected somehow.
[02:33:22]  Is there a guy in your life?
[02:33:24]  And she's like, I mean, I guess recently, yeah.
[02:33:27]  Yeah, he's got a curse on him.
[02:33:28]  I could feel it on you.
[02:33:30]  Not the other chick, just the one chick.
[02:33:34]  And so, and then he was like, all right, here's your fortune, whatever.
[02:33:36]  And they told me that.
[02:33:37]  I'm like, that's crazy.
[02:33:38]  We're in a different whole area.
[02:33:39]  I mean, these are like blocks wide.
[02:33:42]  They're like, it's funny.
[02:33:43]  I'm like, you know what?
[02:33:44]  I'm going to, I'm going to get, I'm going to get my coca leaves red.
[02:33:46]  We passed one.
[02:33:46]  I was like, hey, I want to do cocoa.
[02:33:47]  They want to go tarot.
[02:33:48]  I'm like, nah, coca leaves.
[02:33:49]  And she's doing, it's fun.
[02:33:51]  It's a nickel, you know?
[02:33:52]  More, but like not much.
[02:33:54]  And she's throwing down coca leaves.
[02:33:56]  She goes, do you have any questions that you want to add?
[02:33:57]  I didn't know how it worked.
[02:33:58]  And I was like, yeah.
[02:33:59]  I was like, I have a project coming.
[02:34:03]  How's it going to go?
[02:34:05]  She goes, all right.
[02:34:07]  It's not like you, it's, it's not going to go exactly like you planned, but it will be successful.
[02:34:15]  Who knows what the fuck that means?
[02:34:20]  Successful is lots of different things, different people.
[02:34:22]  So who knows?
[02:34:23]  I was like, okay, interesting.
[02:34:25]  And then she's like, okay.
[02:34:26]  And then, and then you, you, hey, I'm sorry.
[02:34:33]  You got a real bad curse on you.
[02:34:35]  Holy shit.
[02:34:37]  And I was like, and this is a different person.
[02:34:39]  100% different person.
[02:34:41]  A Bolivian witch.
[02:34:42]  You don't think they're like talking amongst you?
[02:34:43]  Listen, all this is possible.
[02:34:45]  Okay.
[02:34:46]  But like that one didn't know.
[02:34:48]  Why not try to cheat the girls?
[02:34:50]  Why not get the upsell on them?
[02:34:52]  Yeah.
[02:34:54]  And I was like, what?
[02:34:54]  She goes, it's a, I can feel it, man.
[02:34:56]  It's a bad curse.
[02:34:58]  And then she's like, okay, she goes, you need a black Kui treatment.
[02:35:01]  You need a Kui Negro treatment.
[02:35:03]  Cleansing.
[02:35:05]  I was like, well, let me think about it.
[02:35:06]  And this was like seven nickels.
[02:35:08]  So I'm like, all right, I don't know.
[02:35:09]  Then went outside, got something to eat, came, got a robbery attempt on the way back.
[02:35:14]  Some old lady stopped in front of me.
[02:35:15]  I'm like, oh, no one's pushing.
[02:35:16]  And I'm like, so crowded.
[02:35:17]  And then somebody later's like, hey, check your back wallet.
[02:35:19]  Like they, that was a, they're in their team.
[02:35:22]  I didn't have anything in my back pocket.
[02:35:24]  So I'm like, oh, cool.
[02:35:27]  One of the chicks, like, my necklace is gone.
[02:35:30]  Oh, wow.
[02:35:30]  Yeah.
[02:35:33]  Yeah.
[02:35:33]  So I was like, I'm going to do it.
[02:35:34]  It's fun.
[02:35:35]  Even if it's nothing, I'm feeling fun.
[02:35:37]  Absolutely.
[02:35:37]  You know, I mean, you'll get your fortune teller right here if it's like, it's like, I'm drunk.
[02:35:41]  Let's do it.
[02:35:43]  Yeah.
[02:35:43]  So she starts, I have to hold this fucking black guinea pig in my shirt in my Medin soccer team jersey knockoff shirt.
[02:35:57]  It's clawing at me.
[02:35:58]  She's got like a swath over me.
[02:36:00]  What the fuck?
[02:36:01]  Yeah, I could see, I added some pictures like I could show you.
[02:36:04]  It's just me with this thing and it's like calling.
[02:36:05]  She goes, you got to pet it.
[02:36:06]  It's actually still an animal.
[02:36:07]  So calm it down.
[02:36:10]  Couple hours.
[02:36:11]  She's like, you got to let it soak up the whatever.
[02:36:15]  And then afterwards, she was like, okay, let's take it out.
[02:36:18]  And then she like says all these incantations.
[02:36:20]  What's your name?
[02:36:21]  And I was like, Ari Shafi'i.
[02:36:22]  She's going to undo your hands.
[02:36:23]  I'm like, okay, she takes me to the back.
[02:36:24]  I'm undoing my hands.
[02:36:25]  And then she's like, what's your father's name?
[02:36:27]  And she says my name, my last name over and over again.
[02:36:30]  And then she like hits me with these with these leaves.
[02:36:33]  It's like these like little flowers.
[02:36:35]  She puts like all this water on it and starts slapping me with it.
[02:36:38]  She said the word, I just spent time in Portugal.
[02:36:42]  My Spanish was gone.
[02:36:42]  She said, take it, which I thought she meant.
[02:36:44]  Toma.
[02:36:45]  Porcogelo.
[02:36:47]  Toma.
[02:36:48]  Yeah, I think Toma.
[02:36:49]  But I thought she meant keep this.
[02:36:51]  But she meant take the pain.
[02:36:52]  Oh, yeah.
[02:36:55]  Yeah.
[02:36:56]  Also, she's Bolivian, so it's a different accent from Peru.
[02:36:58]  You get used to each accent.
[02:37:00]  She's like, forget.
[02:37:01]  Oh, yeah.
[02:37:02]  You will not understand them.
[02:37:05]  Yeah.
[02:37:06]  What?
[02:37:06]  And then you get to like, and then you get to Argentina, Uruguay, and they put CHs.
[02:37:09]  Yeah.
[02:37:10]  It's not Yerba.
[02:37:10]  It's Cheruba.
[02:37:11]  Come on to Shamas.
[02:37:12]  Cheruba.
[02:37:13]  Yeah.
[02:37:13]  I'm like, oh, what?
[02:37:14]  And they just, yeah.
[02:37:15]  So she starts slapping me.
[02:37:17]  She takes these swords.
[02:37:18]  It goes like this on my back and my side and my stomach.
[02:37:21]  Two swords?
[02:37:22]  Two like swords like this long.
[02:37:23]  And she goes, like, like, turn around.
[02:37:25]  But like, cutting the skin.
[02:37:26]  Yeah, I was scared.
[02:37:27]  No.
[02:37:27]  Just like right next to me.
[02:37:29]  And then, and then taps me with this shit.
[02:37:31]  And she's like, okay, no meat today.
[02:37:35]  Oh.
[02:37:35]  So then she takes this kui, this guinea pig, and it's like, go, whatever.
[02:37:39]  And she's rubbing it on me.
[02:37:41]  And then, and then it's like, whatever.
[02:37:42]  And then it's just like, it just died.
[02:37:45]  The guinea pig died?
[02:37:46]  Yeah.
[02:37:48]  Like, she killed it or it just stopped.
[02:37:50]  Maybe she squeezed it.
[02:37:51]  I don't know.
[02:37:52]  I don't know.
[02:37:52]  I mean, it's listen, I don't know.
[02:37:56]  I don't know.
[02:37:56]  Did you see it die?
[02:37:57]  She goes, if it's an okay curse, it'll live.
[02:38:01]  Either way, you're getting the treatment.
[02:38:02]  And if it's a major curse, it ain't surviving.

=== Stepping in Curses (13:23) ===

[02:38:04]  You're going to make it.
[02:38:05]  Yeah.
[02:38:06]  So you sacrifice a guinea pig for yourself.
[02:38:08]  Yeah.
[02:38:08]  It takes the curse.
[02:38:09]  And then she goes, hey, that's not enough.
[02:38:12]  You got to do another one.
[02:38:13]  She goes, she goes, this is a worse curse than I thought.
[02:38:17]  You got to do it.
[02:38:17]  I'm like, okay.
[02:38:18]  She goes, just one.
[02:38:19]  Plus, you're going to need a frog treatment at the same time.
[02:38:21]  It will read your egg.
[02:38:21]  And she cracks this egg and water and she sees all these tendrils.
[02:38:24]  And she goes, these are people who have evil eyes on you.
[02:38:27]  This is loved ones.
[02:38:28]  It's fun.
[02:38:29]  It's fun either way.
[02:38:29]  The healthcare is good there.
[02:38:31]  That's amazing.
[02:38:31]  This is wild.
[02:38:32]  They're getting this all done right now.
[02:38:34]  So I was like, hey, she goes, no meat, no coffee.
[02:38:39]  Her day, come back tomorrow.
[02:38:40]  I was like, hey, I got reservations.
[02:38:41]  This is my one splurge at a really nice restaurant in Lima tomorrow.
[02:38:45]  She goes, okay, come back the next day then.
[02:38:48]  But then that morning, no meat, whatever.
[02:38:50]  But definitely no meat today.
[02:38:52]  Went back again.
[02:38:53]  Did you do no meat?
[02:38:55]  The next day she goes, you can do it, but the day after, don't meet that day.
[02:38:58]  Yeah, I don't fuck with it.
[02:38:58]  You have to do it.
[02:38:59]  Ayahuasca, it was the same shit.
[02:39:00]  They're like, hey, eight more days, no meat.
[02:39:02]  Do not fuck with this.
[02:39:04]  No sex.
[02:39:05]  I forgot about masturbation.
[02:39:06]  I don't remember what they said.
[02:39:08]  But like, no sex, no meat, no booze.
[02:39:11]  And they go, don't fuck with it.
[02:39:12]  I was like, can't have a cigar, can I?
[02:39:14]  And they're like, why wouldn't you be able to have a cigar?
[02:39:16]  I don't know.
[02:39:17]  Like, it's a sister drug.
[02:39:18]  I'm like, I don't.
[02:39:19]  Yeah, they use that in ayahuasca ceremonies.
[02:39:20]  They'll blow it in your face.
[02:39:21]  Oh, yeah.
[02:39:22]  They take it.
[02:39:22]  They squeeze it.
[02:39:23]  It's just liquid, whatever.
[02:39:24]  And they snort it.
[02:39:25]  And you're like, whoa.
[02:39:26]  Oh, yeah.
[02:39:27]  You were up.
[02:39:28]  Yeah, but they said, they said, like, we've seen people, like a couple here, and they're like, all right, six days later, like, we're good now.
[02:39:33]  Let's have sex.
[02:39:34]  And they go, they start fighting.
[02:39:35]  They broke up like two months later.
[02:39:37]  Okay.
[02:39:37]  So tell me, you go back.
[02:39:38]  Go back.
[02:39:39]  Way bigger cooe.
[02:39:41]  Guinea pig.
[02:39:42]  Yeah, gotcha.
[02:39:43]  Also, negro.
[02:39:45]  You know what that word is.
[02:39:47]  That is the right word.
[02:39:50]  That way calmer, way bigger.
[02:39:51]  Held it again for a few hours.
[02:39:53]  And a frog that she put in a plastic bag that suffocated instantly.
[02:39:56]  She wasn't pretending that took a curse.
[02:39:58]  She's like, you got to hold that next to you.
[02:40:00]  Same thing.
[02:40:02]  You got a wide.
[02:40:05]  Okay.
[02:40:05]  Can I stand up?
[02:40:06]  You still have me?
[02:40:07]  Okay.
[02:40:08]  Does the same shit again.
[02:40:10]  All the stuff, all the shakers, you know, the beads in a thing.
[02:40:14]  And then she's taking it and rubbing it on me.
[02:40:16]  And it's like squealing, whatever.
[02:40:18]  And then it's like just normal, like regular gets to my foot.
[02:40:22]  Oh, so I asked her about the curse.
[02:40:24]  And she goes, I was like, who cursed me?
[02:40:26]  She goes, I don't think it was meant for you.
[02:40:29]  To be honest, I think you stepped in someone else's curse.
[02:40:32]  It was meant for someone else and you got in the way.
[02:40:34]  No, no, you pissed a lot of people off at one time.
[02:40:37]  I think, buddy, I asked.
[02:40:39]  I said, was this curse somewhere around January?
[02:40:43]  I asked.
[02:40:44]  I go, I 100% I know in this case.
[02:40:45]  It comes from Southern California.
[02:40:47]  I 100% I knew in this case.
[02:40:48]  I was like, was it in the Southern California area right around January of 2019?
[02:40:52]  And she goes, she goes, no, no, no.
[02:40:54]  It was not.
[02:40:55]  I was like, are you sure?
[02:40:56]  Because I know I had a lot of curses.
[02:40:58]  I was saying to myself when I saw him do it for a step.
[02:41:01]  I was like, I know when this came.
[02:41:03]  She goes, no, it wasn't meant for you.
[02:41:05]  Wow.
[02:41:05]  Bro, I asked her.
[02:41:07]  Specifically that.
[02:41:08]  Was it a woman you hooked up with or something?
[02:41:09]  Is that the idea?
[02:41:11]  It wasn't meant for me.
[02:41:12]  It wasn't somebody put it on me.
[02:41:14]  Was like me because you stepped in it, yeah, but like literally stepped in.
[02:41:18]  So I don't understand.
[02:41:19]  There's like language barriers and there's colloquial baby in this country can mean keeping in Israel.
[02:41:26]  It doesn't mean so wrong, it's so wrong.
[02:41:31]  Wait, what does it mean in Israel?
[02:41:33]  It means a child.
[02:41:34]  You don't have the hey, baby.
[02:41:36]  You say that, they'll be like, What are you talking about?
[02:41:38]  And you say, Pass the chicken, they go, like it, it's foul.
[02:41:42]  You don't say chicken poultry, yeah, poultry.
[02:41:45]  So, anyway, so she's rubbing it on me, and when it gets to my left leg, it starts going crazy.
[02:41:51]  And she goes, Oh, yeah, you stepped in it.
[02:41:53]  That's where you got it on your foot.
[02:41:55]  And I was like, Really?
[02:41:56]  She goes, Yeah, I mean, it's going nuts again.
[02:41:59]  I don't know, I don't know, but it was interesting.
[02:42:01]  And then she goes up, it kind of stops, she goes, Oh, yeah.
[02:42:04]  And then she gets to the other leg and it goes dead.
[02:42:08]  That's what you stepped in it, your right leg.
[02:42:11]  Your right.
[02:42:12]  And then, are you cured of it?
[02:42:14]  She goes, You're current.
[02:42:15]  I have some charms I want you to keep with you for about a year.
[02:42:19]  Um, I'm gonna take a picture of you.
[02:42:20]  I'm gonna put it on my, I'm gonna, I talked to her for a while with Bolivia like have you ever to Machu Picchu?
[02:42:24]  She goes, Yeah, man, we had to cross over with her there.
[02:42:27]  And um, talk I'm two hours, three hours.
[02:42:30]  I'm like, two different times.
[02:42:31]  I'm talking, you don't have to like chant or anything.
[02:42:34]  So, yeah, she goes, It was there, stepped on your right foot.
[02:42:37]  And then, um, she goes, I'm gonna take a picture.
[02:42:39]  I'm gonna put it on my, on my um table, I'm gonna pray for you, but but you're good, you're good.
[02:42:44]  No meat tonight, no coffee.
[02:42:46]  I'll always go, no coffee, no cigarettes.
[02:42:49]  Um, tomorrow you're fine.
[02:42:50]  Wow, so she goes, You're good.
[02:42:53]  She did say, This is interesting.
[02:42:55]  Maybe you'll agree with this.
[02:42:56]  She goes, It's not like this curse has completely stopped you, but you're not as far along as you should be.
[02:43:04]  You're a little bit behind, and that's the curse.
[02:43:08]  It's like it's like where they used to grab Curry's jersey early on before you got the calls, and it's like it just made him a little bit slower.
[02:43:14]  Yeah, I was like, I've thought that sometimes now in Nicaragua, they say, Yeah, why don't you have more followers in Peru?
[02:43:25]  They're like, We know why, what the hell?
[02:43:29]  Yeah, so what happened?
[02:43:30]  Like, either you're cursed, I checked in with her, I checked in with her, wasn't like you got to come back in.
[02:43:36]  She goes, You're good now.
[02:43:37]  She wasn't, she didn't continue to upsell me.
[02:43:41]  And you spent a total of what, like 10 bucks?
[02:43:43]  No, probably 40 or 50.
[02:43:45]  I mean, the Kui itself, if you eat a KUI, it's like $30, right?
[02:43:48]  It's not a nothing thing, so but they didn't prepare it, but like, but you went through a couple, yeah, so the second, okay.
[02:43:58]  So, the second one, she takes a razor blade.
[02:43:59]  Oh, man, kind of like she takes a razor braid, she cuts, she like pinches the skin, kind of like this, you know, and she cuts not the flesh, just the skin, yeah, pulls it apart, and so you're just exposing the flesh of you of the cooey.
[02:44:12]  Oh, and then this thing goes like that, just pops out of it, just goes on its own of whatever just while it's still alive or after dead.
[02:44:22]  Oh, okay, not the dick, I know what you're thinking, just in the middle of its belly.
[02:44:26]  She goes, It's there, that's that's the curse trying to get out now.
[02:44:31]  And I'm like, What do you do with the cooe?
[02:44:33]  And she goes, No garbage, just nothing is done, it's not like we don't have the bury or anything.
[02:44:41]  I love it, like, what do you mean?
[02:44:42]  What do we do?
[02:44:43]  No, it was it a magic trick, probably, but I don't know, but like you've seen magic before.
[02:44:47]  Did it feel like looking for holes in the game?
[02:44:53]  I don't believe I was in the middle of the day.
[02:44:54]  So, do you for holes in the game put a hole in?
[02:44:56]  I'm like, did the first one?
[02:44:58]  The first one didn't even see me.
[02:45:00]  I was long away.
[02:45:01]  Why not upsell the girls?
[02:45:03]  Yeah, you're gonna upsell a guy who's not maybe even here.
[02:45:06]  Did you communicate it to the girls?
[02:45:08]  Like, did you guys have that conversation?
[02:45:10]  They told me, but it wasn't near the other bruja.
[02:45:13]  No, no, no.
[02:45:13]  I'm saying at any point in time, did you have this conversation where the girl goes, yeah?
[02:45:17]  She told me I was this somebody who was cursed.
[02:45:18]  And then you go, I was just told I have a curse.
[02:45:22]  They told me that first.
[02:45:23]  I was like, that's crazy.
[02:45:24]  And then you went.
[02:45:25]  Then I went to another one far away.
[02:45:28]  Got it.
[02:45:28]  Wow.
[02:45:30]  What was your question?
[02:45:31]  I deal with witches.
[02:45:32]  Yeah.
[02:45:32]  Yeah.
[02:45:32]  Good lead.
[02:45:33]  Fuck.
[02:45:34]  Good lead.
[02:45:38]  It's so much more fun to believe it.
[02:45:40]  It's so much more fun.
[02:45:41]  It's so much more fun to believe it.
[02:45:42]  Life's a great storyteller.
[02:45:44]  That really happens.
[02:45:44]  Like, stop asking the dumb shit.
[02:45:45]  Why are you asking the dumb shit?
[02:45:46]  Yeah, we're having a good time.
[02:45:47]  Yeah.
[02:45:48]  It doesn't matter.
[02:45:49]  We're not basing our lives on it.
[02:45:50]  Now, Mark is going to be.
[02:45:51]  Yeah, no, I'm just stewing on this.
[02:45:54]  But how?
[02:45:54]  Go to the witch market.
[02:45:55]  But I'm telling you, there was no cab driver that would let me off more than directly at an entrance to the witch to the market itself.
[02:46:02]  But you got to get in there.
[02:46:03]  Moses goes to Ramsey's, and then they have their sorcerers that make the staff into a snake.
[02:46:10]  Yeah.
[02:46:11]  That was real magic, just different magic.
[02:46:14]  But the people, people were like, oh, they were doing like a magic trick where they had a snake that they were able to hypnotize to be stiff.
[02:46:19]  And then they turned into a snake.
[02:46:21]  All right.
[02:46:22]  Maybe.
[02:46:22]  I don't know.
[02:46:23]  I know there's more to the world than I know.
[02:46:26]  Do you feel uncursed?
[02:46:28]  Five.
[02:46:30]  I don't know.
[02:46:30]  But I'll tell you something I was never quite able to accomplish is getting my storyteller going again since I had the curse, I think.
[02:46:36]  And now, yeah, April 18th at the end of IMH.
[02:46:41]  April 16th.
[02:46:42]  April 15th.
[02:46:43]  But you lose that pre-sale money if you don't get it after the 15th.
[02:46:46]  Yeah.
[02:46:46]  And if you don't get it, you might be cursed.
[02:46:50]  Yeah, I had, but dude, I had a blast.
[02:46:52]  Do you have the charms on you?
[02:46:53]  Yeah, they're my other pants.
[02:46:54]  I don't not take them around a year.
[02:46:57]  Can we see what they look like?
[02:46:58]  They're just little things she puts stuff on them.
[02:47:00]  Yeah, I can go get them.
[02:47:00]  Yeah, man.
[02:47:01]  What do we got with Kaush?
[02:47:02]  What are we doing with Causch right now?
[02:47:04]  Yeah, we got the World Cup.
[02:47:05]  I mean, France is going to take it.
[02:47:07]  Come on.
[02:47:08]  You already know.
[02:47:09]  This is the only sporting that I care about.
[02:47:10]  It's the only thing that actually gets me.
[02:47:12]  Wait, but do they still got the player that fucks the training?
[02:47:15]  Okay, that's not.
[02:47:16]  That's.
[02:47:17]  If he's on the team, you guys got it.
[02:47:19]  If he's not, it sounds like you're saying it in a libelist or slanderous way.
[02:47:22]  No, I fuck with that guy.
[02:47:23]  That's my favorite player.
[02:47:24]  Umbob?
[02:47:25]  Not because Umbab is good.
[02:47:28]  What do we got?
[02:47:29]  Oh, they're saying Spain has the best chance of winning?
[02:47:32]  Yes.
[02:47:33]  I'm talking about.
[02:47:34]  Yeah.
[02:47:35]  I got to say, who's your favorite player?
[02:47:36]  Fair spin for the guy who got herpes.
[02:47:40]  Who's that?
[02:47:41]  I don't know.
[02:47:42]  He's like, I forgot his name.
[02:47:43]  I don't know my players by their sex.
[02:47:44]  You only know the crazy.
[02:47:46]  You're gay.
[02:47:46]  You're actually a little bit feeling.
[02:47:50]  Yeah.
[02:47:50]  Or he's like, I drank alcohol a thing.
[02:47:52]  You're like, dude, your dick was on it.
[02:47:54]  That's awesome.
[02:47:55]  They're gross.
[02:47:56]  Wait, what did I say?
[02:47:57]  Why are my nails painted?
[02:47:58]  Cut it out.
[02:48:00]  He took that bag out.
[02:48:01]  The guy said he had 11 bags in his dick.
[02:48:04]  Bro, you just need to bounce on it one time.
[02:48:06]  Just bounce on.
[02:48:07]  Stop it.
[02:48:08]  Stop bouncing.
[02:48:10]  Stop touching your dick right now.
[02:48:12]  Come on, man.
[02:48:12]  You never take a big shit and think, man, a dick could fit in there.
[02:48:15]  No.
[02:48:15]  You never did that?
[02:48:16]  Nope.
[02:48:16]  Same.
[02:48:17]  No.
[02:48:17]  Have you ever taken a big shit?
[02:48:18]  It feels good.
[02:48:19]  Nope.
[02:48:22]  Spain.
[02:48:24]  That's right.
[02:48:25]  Spain.
[02:48:25]  That's what you're going to be feeling when you get dicked.
[02:48:30]  It doesn't make sense, but it's funny.
[02:48:31]  I like it.
[02:48:32]  Pain.
[02:48:33]  A little pain.
[02:48:35]  This is Spain.
[02:48:35]  All right.
[02:48:36]  You get one of them.
[02:48:37]  15%.
[02:48:40]  Thank God it.
[02:48:41]  Who do you think wins the World Cup?
[02:48:46]  I don't know.
[02:48:47]  Could he want to win, rather?
[02:48:49]  I'd love Ecuador to win, but my boys.
[02:48:53]  And David's got excited for that.
[02:48:54]  Is he from Ecuador?
[02:48:55]  Yeah.
[02:48:55]  His family's from Quito.
[02:48:57]  Oh, yeah, that's right.
[02:48:58]  We talked about it.
[02:48:58]  Yeah.
[02:48:59]  He's eating anything before.
[02:49:00]  What's the U.S. chances for?
[02:49:02]  Shruber's pretty good, right?
[02:49:03]  Yeah, we got that.
[02:49:04]  Pretty good.
[02:49:04]  Yeah, the girls he takes down.
[02:49:06]  We got all right.
[02:49:07]  Let me see his charms.
[02:49:08]  U.S. taking it.
[02:49:08]  3%.
[02:49:09]  That's where the money is.
[02:49:10]  Gang.
[02:49:10]  Can you touch the charms or is that bad?
[02:49:12]  You can touch them.
[02:49:13]  You asked me.
[02:49:13]  They're just like regular little trinkets.
[02:49:14]  And she put like.
[02:49:15]  I'm sure you want to do that.
[02:49:16]  Shout out to Anna Luz.
[02:49:17]  Shout out Anna Luz.
[02:49:18]  You won't walk over a lab.
[02:49:19]  I believe it.
[02:49:20]  What's up?
[02:49:22]  He gives me shooter believing in D was marginal benefit.
[02:49:25]  I mean, this looks like.
[02:49:27]  Yeah.
[02:49:27]  I don't know.
[02:49:30]  Did you put it on his lap, bro?
[02:49:31]  No, no, I don't think he's.
[02:49:32]  Yeah, he's all good.
[02:49:35]  It's not real.
[02:49:36]  Yeah, she's got the charms are good.
[02:49:37]  He's a good luck.
[02:49:38]  No, these are good luck.
[02:49:39]  I believe it.
[02:49:39]  Yeah.
[02:49:39]  They're good luck.
[02:49:40]  No.
[02:49:41]  You gotta surprise me.
[02:49:45]  Wow.
[02:49:45]  Yeah.
[02:49:45]  It's fast.
[02:49:46]  On their own, they're not.
[02:49:47]  I don't think they're anything.
[02:49:48]  I think she put shout out Anna Luz.
[02:49:50]  Anna Luz.
[02:49:50]  Yeah, go see her.
[02:49:51]  Or her sister, Anna Luz 2.
[02:49:53]  It's dope.
[02:49:54]  That's how they named them.
[02:49:55]  Yeah, both like Dr. Zeus vibes.
[02:49:58]  That's fire.
[02:49:59]  Come on.
[02:49:59]  Get it.
[02:50:00]  Feel it.
[02:50:00]  Feel the snake.
[02:50:01]  Yeah, I carry them around with me.
[02:50:02]  I don't know if this is my heart.
[02:50:03]  Right?
[02:50:03]  It looks like, yeah.
[02:50:04]  This is Virgin Mary.
[02:50:06]  Just substantially, maybe.
[02:50:08]  And then this is a snake.
[02:50:09]  Wow.
[02:50:09]  There you go, Margaret.
[02:50:10]  Charms trinkets.
[02:50:11]  Come on.
[02:50:11]  Yo, yo.
[02:50:13]  You're not going to touch it.
[02:50:14]  I guess if you can step in a curse, you can probably step in a blessing, right?
[02:50:18]  Yeah, that's it.
[02:50:18]  You're stepping into a blessing right now, man.
[02:50:20]  Step in a blessing.
[02:50:21]  It sounds like a country song.
[02:50:26]  I mean, all right.
[02:50:27]  Yeah.
[02:50:27]  I mean, okay, there's a snake, bro.
[02:50:29]  That's not good.
[02:50:30]  No, snakes are good.
[02:50:31]  Snakes are good.
[02:50:32]  Owls are bad.
[02:50:33]  Owls are always good.
[02:50:34]  The good stat.
[02:50:34]  Do you know about Adam, Eve?
[02:50:37]  Yeah.
[02:50:37]  No, but the snake, remember?
[02:50:40]  They don't listen to it.
[02:50:41]  No, but Eve did, and then it destroyed humanity.
[02:50:43]  That's fair.
[02:50:44]  I hear what you're saying.
[02:50:44]  Yeah.
[02:50:45]  Well, you're fucked now.
[02:50:46]  Now, don't.
[02:50:49]  And then what is this evening?
[02:50:50]  You're the last to touch it.
[02:50:51]  It's not like she didn't.
[02:50:52]  You got it.
[02:50:52]  Wait, what wasn't there another way of interpreting the snake?
[02:50:57]  I mean, Gnosticism was saying the snake was actually the good guy.
[02:50:59]  Yes.
[02:51:00]  And that was actually the demiurge that created Adam and Eve and put them into this prison.
[02:51:04]  Oh, weird.
[02:51:05]  Nah, I don't like that.
[02:51:06]  Demi Gorgon.
[02:51:07]  It was the Jeffy Gorgon.
[02:51:08]  Oh, this damn Demi Gorgon.
[02:51:10]  But I'll tell you something that was like really cool.
[02:51:12]  This is all.
[02:51:13]  I meant to be funny on this.
[02:51:14]  But so, like, this, that kind of story, if I had to do it for a storytelling show, I'm like, I got to work some jokes into that.
[02:51:20]  Don't change the reality.
[02:51:21]  It already has some jokes, though.
[02:51:23]  Yeah.
[02:51:23]  Some jokes in to make it funny wallets.
[02:51:25]  So it's not just like, can you believe it?

=== Gnosticism and Snakes (11:58) ===

[02:51:28]  Can you believe it?
[02:51:28]  Also, like, she looked like a cross between Cleanus Wood and Margaret Thatcher.
[02:51:32]  You know, like stuff like that.
[02:51:36]  But here's something I realized when I got back: that I wasn't expecting, because I was gone for longer than I've ever been gone.
[02:51:43]  I had and continue to have a legitimate joy in seeing my friends again.
[02:51:50]  Like, like saying hi to you, I was still editing.
[02:51:52]  And then when I'm saying, I'm like, ah, it's just like fills you up.
[02:51:54]  It's like, how you been?
[02:51:56]  I missed you.
[02:51:56]  Yeah.
[02:51:57]  Not even how you been.
[02:51:58]  Just like, let me just look at you for a second.
[02:51:59]  I don't know.
[02:52:00]  Let me just take you in.
[02:52:01]  Yeah.
[02:52:01]  It's the best.
[02:52:02]  Yeah.
[02:52:03]  Brazil got to you, bro.
[02:52:04]  Brazil must have got to me.
[02:52:07]  Let me just.
[02:52:08]  Yeah.
[02:52:10]  That is the best.
[02:52:11]  Amazing.
[02:52:12]  Chile was great.
[02:52:13]  Saw Oasis in Sao Paulo.
[02:52:16]  Oh, you got to see Oasis.
[02:52:17]  I meant to ask you about that.
[02:52:18]  Yeah, well, I missed him here.
[02:52:19]  And I'm like, fuck.
[02:52:20]  I'm like, oh, South America.
[02:52:21]  I'm like, well, I got to go.
[02:52:22]  Which is the better place to see him.
[02:52:23]  I heard more than America.
[02:52:25]  Yeah, why?
[02:52:25]  Why?
[02:52:25]  Why isn't it better there?
[02:52:27]  I mean, from what I understand, is like they're the biggest in England.
[02:52:31]  Yeah.
[02:52:32]  England and Ireland.
[02:52:32]  And over there.
[02:52:34]  And then they're second biggest in Argentina.
[02:52:37]  Specifically, like South America, they have this vivacious admiration for Oasis.
[02:52:44]  It was all xylophone music until you get to Chile, and then it became rock and roll again.
[02:52:48]  Interesting.
[02:52:49]  Yeah.
[02:52:50]  Which was pretty interesting.
[02:52:51]  But they must have gone crazy.
[02:52:52]  Went crazy.
[02:52:53]  So I heard every word in Ireland, Manchester, London, every word by heart.
[02:52:58]  They grew up knowing them.
[02:53:00]  And then in America, everyone knows half the words.
[02:53:02]  Egot went to like a couple and goes, yeah, Chicago, it just wasn't as cool a crap.
[02:53:06]  Yeah, they know two songs.
[02:53:07]  Yeah.
[02:53:08]  Then, and then back to, and then Australia, they know like three quarters or whatever.
[02:53:12]  And then in South America, they just knew every word.
[02:53:14]  I mean, these are like 25-year-olds.
[02:53:16]  Like, you weren't even alive when they were crazy.
[02:53:18]  So fun.
[02:53:19]  Everyone throwing piss in the air.
[02:53:20]  That's why they were the bucket huts.
[02:53:22]  The piss keeps going up in the air.
[02:53:24]  That's why they started with the bucket huts on the ground from the floor.
[02:53:27]  And that's why I'm like, I like being on the floor, but I don't need a, I don't need him.
[02:53:31]  So they're peeing into their own cups.
[02:53:33]  Yeah, everyone can't leave.
[02:53:34]  And then, like, at some point, during bass drops.
[02:53:36]  Yeah.
[02:53:37]  You can see videos of their concerts and just see this fly.
[02:53:41]  Yeah, exactly.
[02:53:42]  Where it's like, oh, they look like they're having fun, but it's like, oh, what the fuck?
[02:53:46]  Yeah.
[02:53:46]  And then during cigarettes and alcohol, they all face away.
[02:53:48]  I did this.
[02:53:50]  Wait, what do they mean?
[02:53:50]  They turn the ports, Gus, the ports.
[02:53:52]  He goes for it.
[02:53:53]  They know how to do this at soccer game or football games and Iron Edge.
[02:53:57]  Let's see if you know what the fuck you're doing.
[02:53:59]  And then we all turn and like, it's so fucking fun.
[02:54:02]  And what's the they all face away?
[02:54:04]  I forget what it's from.
[02:54:05]  It's from some soccer tradition.
[02:54:06]  I think it's like Eastern European, and that it kind of got like co-opted into Manchester City.
[02:54:12]  Yeah.
[02:54:13]  Face away, and then when they hit it, everyone turns around.
[02:54:15]  That's like disrespect or something.
[02:54:17]  University of Maryland during basketball guys, we used to, when they introduced their team, we'd read the newspaper like disinterested.
[02:54:24]  And then when they were done, we'd chug it.
[02:54:25]  He was in Maryland?
[02:54:26]  Yeah.
[02:54:26]  How old are you again?
[02:54:27]  170.
[02:54:30]  They're vampires.
[02:54:30]  I didn't know that.
[02:54:31]  She cured me, dude.
[02:54:32]  Yeah.
[02:54:32]  He's not cursed.
[02:54:33]  He's actually Jewish.
[02:54:34]  No, my boy went to Maryland.
[02:54:36]  I wonder if you guys went to school.
[02:54:37]  He's 46, I think.
[02:54:40]  Probably, because I took a couple years off.
[02:54:41]  So probably overlapped.
[02:54:43]  Get out of it.
[02:54:43]  You know, just so we can make more.
[02:54:45]  25,000 person school.
[02:54:46]  No, but you.
[02:54:48]  Oh, I see where you see, Mike.
[02:54:51]  Because you were religious at this time.
[02:54:53]  Yeah.
[02:54:53]  I was just losing it there.
[02:54:55]  But he wasn't very religious.
[02:54:56]  Yeah.
[02:54:57]  I don't know.
[02:54:58]  You rekindle it, though.
[02:54:59]  I spoke a lot of weed, so name.
[02:55:00]  All right, fair enough.
[02:55:01]  Also, by the way, while I'm gone, I could not, I could picture people, and I'm like, I don't, I don't have their name in me anymore.
[02:55:07]  Like, these are friends, and I'm like, I can't call up their names.
[02:55:11]  I just wasn't thinking about them.
[02:55:13]  I'm like, that might be good.
[02:55:14]  I'm like, we're not supposed to know so many people.
[02:55:16]  So anyone I met when it came up that I was a stand-up comic, if they didn't recognize me, it came to the first of all, they were like, that's the coolest job I've ever heard of.
[02:55:24]  That's so cool.
[02:55:25]  And you're like, yeah, right.
[02:55:27]  They would go, the hostile backpackers are like, do you know Shane Gillis?
[02:55:32]  Who's like, pretty much only I know one, or do you know a local one or do you know Shane Gillis?
[02:55:37]  Except anyone from Brazil.
[02:55:40]  Do you know Jafi Bastos?
[02:55:43]  He told me about this Russia.
[02:55:44]  He told me about this place.
[02:55:46]  He is their king.
[02:55:46]  I got told in Bolivia, in the UniSaul flats, this Brazilian guy told me, he goes, oh, you're a comedian.
[02:55:52]  He goes, do you know Jafi Bastos?
[02:55:55]  They don't call him Rafi.
[02:55:56]  And I was like, yeah, no, I mean, I know him.
[02:55:58]  He gave me a list of stuff to do in Sao Paulo.
[02:56:03]  And he goes, oh my God.
[02:56:05]  He was like, well, he told me this joke that he got in trouble for and got driven out of Brazil for.
[02:56:11]  And as this guy's telling me this joke, and I just start dying laughing.
[02:56:15]  And he goes, no, it's a bad thing.
[02:56:18]  He went over the line.
[02:56:19]  I'm like, oh, I'm sorry.
[02:56:20]  My natural reaction was that was legitimately funny.
[02:56:23]  I'm sorry I didn't know the backstory.
[02:56:25]  He goes, yeah, you're supposed to hate it.
[02:56:26]  I'm like, I didn't hate it.
[02:56:27]  Even you telling me.
[02:56:29]  You don't have time to get a joke.
[02:56:32]  Yeah, he is the, and everywhere I was like, you know, Jafi Basos?
[02:56:35]  I'm like, yes.
[02:56:36]  Yeah.
[02:56:36]  I went to a restaurant he told me about.
[02:56:38]  It was like a little high-end, and they were like sold out Saturday.
[02:56:41]  And I was like, oh, okay.
[02:56:42]  My friend Jafi Bastos told me to go.
[02:56:44]  They're like 7:30.
[02:56:45]  No.
[02:56:46]  No way.
[02:56:47]  Damn.
[02:56:47]  That's all motion.
[02:56:49]  Jafi, you still got motion in the homeland.
[02:56:52]  I mean, he's doing like big, like arena.
[02:56:55]  He's their king.
[02:56:55]  Yeah.
[02:56:56]  Yeah.
[02:56:56]  He was like their first guy for like SNL Brazil or something, I think.
[02:56:59]  Really?
[02:57:00]  Like, they did SNL Brazil and like he hosted it.
[02:57:02]  Like he was like featured on it a bunch of times.
[02:57:05]  He's massive over there.
[02:57:06]  Massive.
[02:57:06]  Yeah.
[02:57:07]  And you wouldn't even know if you talked to him because he's so down earth.
[02:57:10]  Loki, I'm glad you got pushed out of there because now we get them.
[02:57:13]  Yeah, man.
[02:57:15]  Oh, dude.
[02:57:16]  Yeah, the whole thing was really cool.
[02:57:18]  Just looking over the map now.
[02:57:20]  I got a camper van, drove through Patagonia three weeks.
[02:57:24]  Pretty sick, huh?
[02:57:25]  Yeah, just wild camping, just pull over in a canyon and just like or by a river or something.
[02:57:30]  Just the most gorgeous, just the most gorgeous.
[02:57:34]  I got a picture for you, me with this dog and this like steer skull in the middle with his backdrop.
[02:57:39]  I got to send it to you.
[02:57:40]  Did you ever want to go home?
[02:57:41]  Yeah, a couple times.
[02:57:42]  Missed my dogs.
[02:57:43]  I mean, I'm over this.
[02:57:45]  Yeah.
[02:57:45]  And what did you do in those moments?
[02:57:48]  I got real weird around street dogs the whole trip.
[02:57:51]  Oh, because you missed your dog.
[02:57:53]  Yeah.
[02:57:53]  I got real weird.
[02:57:55]  I got into it.
[02:57:57]  I'd say leftovers first.
[02:57:58]  And then eventually I'm like, these are wet in my pocket.
[02:58:00]  I don't want to do that.
[02:58:01]  So I'd just buy treats.
[02:58:03]  And I'd be like, what's up, buddy?
[02:58:04]  Go, what's up?
[02:58:05]  They'd be laying out there.
[02:58:06]  You know, they're everywhere.
[02:58:07]  How you doing, you good boy?
[02:58:08]  And unless they like growl, I'm like, you're getting a treat.
[02:58:10]  And they'd be like, what the fuck?
[02:58:12]  They'd be sleeping and you put one by them.
[02:58:13]  They go, this is a high-end treat.
[02:58:18]  And they'd be like, trash.
[02:58:19]  Like, I'm eating.
[02:58:21]  They're like, what?
[02:58:22]  Yeah, I told you that whatever, the dog out there.
[02:58:25]  I'm like, I learned some new fucking pet techniques out there.
[02:58:28]  Like this?
[02:58:30]  Oh, rubbing that.
[02:58:31]  Right in there.
[02:58:33]  You put your legs together, they get their head in there, and then you go like that.
[02:58:36]  And they really like being like the autistic boys, you know, where you get all set and you go like that.
[02:58:40]  I know.
[02:58:41]  You didn't grow up with dogs, did you?
[02:58:42]  No.
[02:58:43]  Oh, that's awesome.
[02:58:44]  You got to make up for it now.
[02:58:45]  Oh, yeah.
[02:58:46]  Oh, that's sweet.
[02:58:48]  Saved a couple.
[02:58:48]  Saved them.
[02:58:49]  Yeah.
[02:58:49]  Meaning.
[02:58:50]  Found one in El Salvador in this like food festival town.
[02:58:58]  And it was like, I mean, they're all cute.
[02:59:01]  They're all fun and cute.
[02:59:02]  And if they're not friendly, they don't survive.
[02:59:04]  You know, they won't.
[02:59:05]  Pleased won't allow dangerous dogs out.
[02:59:08]  Half of them are just in someone's house and they just open the door in the morning to come back for dinner.
[02:59:12]  Yeah.
[02:59:13]  And the other half are just street dogs, which I got sad about.
[02:59:15]  And then I'm like, no, you guys are outlaws living your life.
[02:59:19]  Doing whatever you want.
[02:59:20]  Making friends.
[02:59:21]  You're kind of a street dog.
[02:59:22]  You know what I mean?
[02:59:22]  Yeah.
[02:59:23]  Traveling around.
[02:59:23]  Exactly.
[02:59:24]  Yes.
[02:59:25]  Yeah.
[02:59:25]  You're living in a car.
[02:59:26]  Yeah.
[02:59:27]  Not so different.
[02:59:28]  Yeah.
[02:59:28]  And I saw this purple fucking shit on his head.
[02:59:31]  And I was like, oh, that's cute.
[02:59:32]  And then it was just a hole to his skull.
[02:59:34]  Oh, God.
[02:59:36]  So, Santo Taco.
[02:59:38]  Santo.
[02:59:38]  I heard it in the transition.
[02:59:41]  No, no.
[02:59:42]  We're not done with that story.
[02:59:44]  You tried a transition, but no, we're not done with that story.
[02:59:46]  They just heard you were here and they heard you were just in South America and they did not.
[02:59:50]  I didn't want to swear.
[02:59:52]  What do you mean?
[02:59:52]  Yeah.
[02:59:52]  They just heard you were here and they heard you came back from South America and they wanted to give you some.
[02:59:56]  They know us.
[02:59:57]  Oh, really?
[02:59:57]  This is one of the best talking places in Soho.
[02:59:59]  I'm not doing a bit or a promo.
[03:00:00]  I swear to God.
[03:00:01]  I didn't ask for them.
[03:00:02]  And not only that, they've never done it for us.
[03:00:05]  I know.
[03:00:06]  I'm like, what?
[03:00:07]  Yeah.
[03:00:07]  You got some.
[03:00:08]  This is very new.
[03:00:08]  We have Mexican-American comedian Ari Shafi'i.
[03:00:10]  But continue with the story about the Mexico, by the way.
[03:00:13]  Number one.
[03:00:13]  So, like, listen, America does a lot of great shit.
[03:00:16]  Wow.
[03:00:17]  Oh, we got a lot of people.
[03:00:19]  He rushes to us on movie theater concessions.
[03:00:21]  What do you mean?
[03:00:22]  What do they got?
[03:00:22]  Split popcorns, flavors, and the flavors are Dorito flavored popcorns with Dorito flavor plus Dorito crumples in the popcorn.
[03:00:31]  I'm onto a hole.
[03:00:32]  They do the same with Cheetos.
[03:00:35]  This is awesome.
[03:00:36]  Yeah, we need that.
[03:00:37]  We got a good van over here.
[03:00:39]  Can you rap so we can eat?
[03:00:41]  Yeah, let's get a rap.
[03:00:42]  You seem like a person who's a little bit more.
[03:00:44]  Let me get a little bit.
[03:00:45]  Were there any like people from?
[03:00:48]  How did you do the research?
[03:00:49]  Were you on YouTube watching other people do travels?
[03:00:52]  Yeah.
[03:00:53]  Oh, no.
[03:00:54]  Looking at pictures is the wrong way to go.
[03:00:55]  Tip three: Go.
[03:00:57]  Don't look at pictures.
[03:00:58]  Find your own way.
[03:00:59]  The pictures are washed.
[03:01:01]  They are, hey, get out of my shot so it seems like alone.
[03:01:04]  The reality is different.
[03:01:05]  And if you're expecting something amazing, it's not going to live up to that.
[03:01:09]  So there was a hot springs in Patagonia that I didn't know about.
[03:01:13]  And I just like, I was like, I'll go to the hot springs.
[03:01:16]  And it was like crazy on this like sound.
[03:01:20]  And you could do the hot spring, like carved out ones.
[03:01:22]  And then you could jump into the sound through like freezing water, then back in.
[03:01:26]  But it was like cloudy, but I didn't know what to expect.
[03:01:29]  So you have these beautiful mountains behind, but a little cloudy.
[03:01:31]  If I saw the pictures, it would have been a disappointment.
[03:01:33]  Without the pictures, I'm like, I didn't know anything about this thing.
[03:01:36]  Right.
[03:01:37]  And it was like, this is awesome.
[03:01:38]  Anyway, tip three: don't look at pictures.
[03:01:41]  But yeah, I go rex over blogs.
[03:01:44]  Blogs, that means everybody's doing it.
[03:01:46]  Yeah.
[03:01:47]  You got to go direct to the people.
[03:01:48]  Get a recommendation.
[03:01:49]  A real person that's there around now.
[03:01:51]  It's like, I went to this one thing.
[03:01:52]  It was really sick.
[03:01:53]  Anything you'll refuse to do?
[03:01:59]  Mm, yeah, I don't know.
[03:02:02]  Like, how are you?
[03:02:03]  It's like, this never ends up working out.
[03:02:04]  It's always a bad idea.
[03:02:06]  It's not worth it.
[03:02:11]  I don't think so.
[03:02:15]  I mean, if everyone's going to like a nightclub, like, it's not my scene, guys.
[03:02:17]  Yeah, you don't.
[03:02:18]  I got a big hike tomorrow.
[03:02:19]  I'm not going to do that.
[03:02:20]  Daytime.
[03:02:21]  Yeah.
[03:02:21]  But no, really.
[03:02:23]  Went watching the prostitutes in Medellin.
[03:02:26]  It was like a prostitute park.
[03:02:27]  Oh, that's fire.
[03:02:28]  Just buy crushed cigarettes, Lucy's, and smoke and watch them.
[03:02:31]  It was a lot of fun, actually.
[03:02:32]  It was a lot of fun.
[03:02:34]  Guns, Barry Shafir.
[03:02:37]  Guys, this is what he's got.
[03:02:38]  It's nice to see you guys.
[03:02:39]  It's great to see you, dude.
[03:02:40]  Make sure you go check it out.
[03:02:41]  Go buy it right now.
[03:02:43]  Bari Shafir.com or the end.ymh studios.com.
[03:02:48]  Yeah, straight to that.
[03:02:49]  And just fucking indulge in masterful performance art stand-up comedy storytelling.
[03:02:57]  You will love it.
[03:02:58]  I promise you.
[03:02:59]  If you have a favorite, or if you probably a lot, reach out to them on Instagram after you see their stories and say, I loved your fucking story.
[03:03:07]  Comics are vein.
[03:03:08]  And that's actually the number one compliment we like.
[03:03:11]  I saw your comedy and I liked it.
[03:03:12]  Let them know you had a good time.
[03:03:14]  That was a great.
[03:03:15]  Yeah.
[03:03:15]  Watch it with friends.
[03:03:16]  It comes out right before 420.
[03:03:18]  Watch them on 420.
[03:03:19]  Seven episodes.
[03:03:20]  You're not getting through it in one day.
[03:03:21]  No.
[03:03:22]  What's the weekend?
[03:03:23]  It's the weekend.
[03:03:25]  Love you guys.
[03:03:26]  Peace.