March 18, 2026 - Flagrant - Andrew Schulz & Akaash Singh
02:13:18
War On The Whiteboys! Timmy Chalamet, Jack Harlow, & Why Mormon Wives Get Freaky | Ep #696
Andrew Schulz and Akaash Singh dissect Timothée Chalamet's ballet controversy and Jack Harlow's "getting blacker" comments, debating whether they constitute racism or valid artistic statements. They analyze the industry's strategy of promoting young stars for financial viability while mocking clips designed solely to generate clicks. The conversation shifts to fears that AI will displace 30% to 40% of entry-level jobs, potentially triggering violent uprisings and necessitating a resented Universal Basic Income. Finally, they explore the cynical humanity depicted in White Lotus Season 5 and the sexual openness controversies surrounding the Mormon Wives reality series. [Automatically generated summary]
Transcriber: nvidia/parakeet-tdt-0.6b-v2, sat-12l-sm, and large-v3-turbo
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Jack Harlow's White Genre00:14:40
What's up everybody?
Welcome to Flagrant.
We've been abandoned.
Let's just call it what it is.
Okay?
We got no Akash.
We got no fucking, Mark, it's Al and I holding it down Corona style.
Okay, we're throwing it back to you.
Alex and Shifty seem to be under the impression that the K-pop Demon Hunters is an English American-made movie that just happens to be about a K-pop band and not a Korean-made movie.
No, it's a Korean-made movie, but it's made in English.
No, no, they dub it in English.
No, it's made in English.
All the words of the fucking animated shit are English words.
You don't think that that's originally a Korean song?
No.
It won't slap the same.
Come on.
I'm the answer, but I'm not y'all.
That don't slap the same.
Al.
Does that slap the same?
Al!
Al, we don't have our Asian representative or our cauc Asian representative here for you to be making these jokes, okay?
Al, you need to.
You mean keep your racism?
You even got the beef and broccolis on it.
Is that why you, put that Timbaland over there.
I'm about to take chops to my beat.
I take back what I said.
If Al has the beef and broccoli's on, he's the last new day.
Yeah, okay.
I'm just trying to keep the wheels on the bus.
I'm trying to keep the wheels on the bus.
Miles, I'll move back in a frame.
Don't you worry.
Get some AC going on.
Yes, we need some AC.
Okay.
It is St. Patty's Day.
Yo, happy St. Patrick's Day.
Yes.
Thank you.
Shout out to the Irish.
I'm Irish.
No, you're not.
I am.
I'm a quarter Irish.
You just want to be something, bro.
Brother, are you Puerto Rican?
Yes.
But I'm real Puerto Rican.
How?
Because my mom was born there.
We don't know that.
There's no proof of that.
What proof do you have?
What proof?
Call your mom right now.
See if she was actually born in a hospital with no electricity.
There's no way that she was born.
No, There's no fucking way.
You know, she was born in a bathtub.
That's how they do it.
That is.
Trump threw him a fucking paper towel and shit.
Al.
Cleaned up the blood.
Al, you're going to...
It's going to be just one of us next episode.
Hey, keep it up.
It's going to be me, baby.
Yo, you tuned in to B-E-T.
We're down to two.
We're down to two.
Is this a setup?
Like, I feel like I'm going to open this and it's going to exist.
No, no, no.
That did, that did drop, but it's Guinness.
There's no bubbles in it.
Miles, you want to open this?
You fucked up.
I think white people have like a better.
Can you do beer better?
Listen, can we all just have a moment?
Can we have a moment right now to just acknowledge it's hard out there for white boys with motion?
Can we just have a moment to acknowledge?
That's what you're going with?
Can we just acknowledge it?
Are you a white boy with motion?
It's also hard with Puerto Ricans open to the fucking chill.
I just hope white people do it better.
Yeah.
Boy.
Whoa.
Whoa, whoa.
That made me feel uncomfortable.
God damn.
That really made me feel uncomfortable.
Are we being silly or not?
No, don't do that.
Al just the Tourette's guy.
That's what the guy said at the BAFTAs.
There we go.
Got it.
Good.
There you go.
Strong head, baby.
Yeah.
All right.
Okay.
So, yeah.
Do you think it's, I mean, Jack Harlow and Timothy going through it right now?
Tell me how hard it is for white boys with it.
Al, I need you to lean back.
You're right.
No, let me get your shot.
Oh, my bad.
Yeah, we can just go to that wide.
The wine is really not even that wide today.
No, it's not.
You know, it's just, we really just need one camera for this.
Yeah, okay.
We're doing weekend update.
That's what Al and I are doing.
Okay.
It's no, no, listen.
I'm not here to complain about the journey of the white male.
Nice.
Al, There's nobody else for me to talk to.
I need you paying attention the whole time.
No, this is gonna be uncomfortable.
I gotta like lock eyes with you.
This is like a date right now.
Move over a little bit.
I am a little closer to you, right?
Like, what the fuck is that?
I am occupying space.
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah, I am.
I don't care.
Come on, what the fuck?
Is this the West Bank or something?
Get out of here.
Al, do we have to get political immediately?
What's your favorite city in the West Bank?
Um, don't know it.
Put your Ukraine flag back on, bro.
Yeah, I know.
I stand with the people.
I stand with what the internet says.
That's what we need.
Cheers, cheers, cheers, my boy.
Cheers, cheers.
Okay, free everyone except except white boys with motion.
All right, tell me about this.
You have no take on this as a black dude.
I mean, did you listen to first of all?
Did you listen to Jack's album?
No.
Okay.
So that makes both of us.
So we're going to give you strong opinions on this.
We heard like 15 seconds of it in the elevator with Dove.
Yes.
And that didn't sound too great.
But that's not fair.
You would never judge a Jay-Z album on 15 seconds.
You'd never judge anybody's album on 15 seconds.
But he's not singing.
So RB is singing.
And he was just like doing the little whisper talking stuff.
So it's like that already is like, oh, if the whole album's like that, don't call it an RB album.
So you want to see vocals for an RB album.
Yeah.
Is there anybody that doesn't have vocals, but they're just so musically inclined, you're like, fine, you get to do it.
Kanye 808 and Heartbreak.
But he used auto-tune to make him to make up for the fact that he couldn't sing.
Yeah.
Okay.
Okay.
So if he just said this is an alternative album, got it.
You know that there's no way that he's, no matter what he said, he was going to get cooked for that.
I think, no, I don't think so.
If he just said that, yo, I'm making an alternative album.
Yeah, but now it's not a black.
Oh, so you think the criticism comes from the fact that it doesn't sound like RB, but he called it that?
What did he ever say was an RB album?
I'm pretty sure that's the whole rollout that he's putting out an RB album.
I don't know.
Do you want to play this clip?
Play this clip.
I'm saying you didn't retreat into a whiter genre.
In fact, you arguably went into deeper into black music.
Deeper into pause.
That's where that's what most people have seen from the clip.
Okay.
That's what most people have seen from the interview.
And all the opinions about this roll up rollout come from that one right here.
Right?
There's an extended version of the conversation where the two interviewers are basically being politically correct and they're like being white guys about asking him this question, which is like, oh, you see a lot of white artists, they retreat to white music once they get on.
You didn't do that.
And they basically want to say you got black.
They want to say that, but they're not saying it.
So he says it.
And then he goes on and you can play more of the clip.
Was that conscious?
Was that a little twist on the typical move that white rappers make, which is to retreat back into traditionally white sounds?
It certainly made what I already wanted to do even more appealing.
Absolutely.
Because you like pushing that boundary, that line.
I think I love black music.
I love the sound of black music.
Pause.
That's such a funny moment because he's like, because you're like pushing the boundary.
He's like, nah, bro, I just like black music.
And then the interview is immediately like, yeah, yeah, me too.
Yeah, I know.
Yeah.
I think that this is handled perfectly.
Like, he's saying, hey, I love this music.
I, this is what I wanted to make.
This is what's inspiring me.
He says, I got blacker because that's what the interview is trying to say.
He's saying it almost sarcastically.
But he shouldn't have.
Let the either let the fucking interviewer say it.
If he's not going to say it, you don't need to take it.
Everybody stop podcasting, bro.
Everybody got to stop podcasting.
I know Scott of Podcast.
Everybody got to stop podcasting because there's nothing you could do.
No, just white people need to stop podcasts, apparently.
It's not just white people.
Who's black getting in trouble?
Jack Harlow just got in trouble off of a podcast, bro.
He's black.
He's blacker than ever, dude.
Come on, Al.
All right.
So now.
No, this is interesting.
Is it just black?
Is it just white people getting in trouble podcasting?
Nah.
You got Jack, you got Chalame.
Black guys get on, say, wild shit in podcasts.
Shit's blow up.
You got Shannon.
Because Shannon Sharp.
Shannon.
Shannon says, like, everybody goes on Shannon and gets into some shit.
But it's like blows up in a good way.
Cat Williams goes over there.
It's the biggest podcast ever.
His tour is selling out ever.
Like, it's a good thing for them.
Interesting.
So you think it's just white people getting in trouble?
Yeah.
Y'all crapping the bower ass niggas, bro.
Is it white people tearing down white people?
Yes, because you're not with Jack Harlaw.
Your barrel is getting smaller because minorities are growing.
But the Jack Harlow response is not from white people.
It's a little bit of both.
But black people, because he said, I'm getting blacker.
Like, I don't like the sound of that.
That was a little cringy.
I get what he's saying.
And if you watch the whole clip, I agree with everything he's saying.
But if you stop it at right there, it's like, oh, yeah, I'm getting blacker.
And it's like, we have a history of all this fucking, what's it called?
The who's the guy, the culture vultures?
Like, we've had a history of that.
So it's like, it works that way.
Yeah, but you can't look at him and be like, oh, he's being sarcastic.
I don't think he's being sarcastic.
He's using language that's sarcastic.
Yes.
Yes.
If you watch the full clip, if you just stop it at the same time.
But RB isn't any blacker than rap.
Like, they're both black music forms.
You're not more black if you do RB than rap.
I would say RB is blacker.
Oh, Jesus.
RB is blacker.
I need someone else on the podcast.
I need someone.
It's rhythm and blues.
I don't have rhythm or blues.
Blues.
Blues brothers.
But you don't have rhythm.
And blues is a black art form.
White people invented dancing.
Bro, you invented like skipping and shit like that.
Like, yeah, dances.
Your dances are one, two, three, four.
What's rhythm is just like, hey, we feel it.
Can you show me?
Can you show me some rhythm?
How you feel it?
No, I've been hanging around too many whites, man.
I'm losing rhythm, bro.
I think Jack Harlow might have got more rhythm than me right now.
Feel that for a second.
But I get why the internet's upset.
They shouldn't be if you watch the full clip.
Because he got put in a position and he said the thing you're supposed to say.
He's like, hey, I like the music.
And so I'm just leaning into the music that I like.
But at the same time, you know it's a little bit easier for white people to switch genres than it is for black people.
Easier in terms of so a white guy like Kim Post can go to white music, country, and no one's giving him shit for going.
I think white people can go from black to white very easily.
Very easy.
Yes.
It's like a welcome home.
Right?
But can a traditional like rock musician drop a rap album?
No.
That's hard.
Okay.
Do we have any examples of a black artist that started in a white genre and then went to hip-hop?
Oh, oh, wait a minute.
That's what this would be.
No, But there is.
Oh, no, that's a totally different one.
Hootie and the blowfish, was that the guy?
Yeah.
Wagon Wheel?
Yeah.
So he started.
But he started out doing what?
What was that?
Like, I think he started at Hootie.
Yeah, he started with Hootie, but what type of music was it?
It was just like pop music.
Yeah, pop up.
And then he went to like country.
Yeah, and then cut into country.
See, but I guess he didn't get any.
Maybe he did get some shit.
Maybe we're just not fucking aware of it because we don't know what the hell is happening in country music.
My point is that, like, this is like, I think this is a perfect example of just like the internet is one big outrage machine right now.
It's like the only thing that gets clicks and the only thing that gets views.
It's like reaction, outrage.
Reaction, outrage.
And they got to find things to be outraged by because maybe they're exhausted being outraged by real shit.
Like there's war going on.
And they're like, all right, we got all that outrage out.
What can I be outraged about that doesn't really matter?
Like Timmy Chalamet talking about like ballet or opera doesn't fucking really matter.
Yeah, it doesn't.
Like nobody really.
Like I grew up in a dance family.
Let me tell you, like I grew up in a dance family.
Yeah.
Yes.
So did he, though?
I did.
And he did.
And he knows it.
Like, my wife came to New York to be a ballerina.
Like, this is the ballet is completely supported by donors.
Like, the tickets you do go to see the Nutcracker doesn't pay for ballet.
Is that why you liked your wife?
Because she reminded you of your mother.
My mom wasn't a ballerina.
I thought she did all dancing.
Ballet was part of it.
No, no, no.
My mom was a three-time U.S. Ball and Dance champion.
That puts some respect on her name.
Oh, so your wife didn't live up to what your mom did in the game.
No, she didn't become a three-time U.S. ball and dance champion.
Damn, you want to shit on your wife like that?
I mean, I'm just saying she didn't achieve that.
See, I'm doing like the New York Times guys do it to you right now.
There's no way you can answer.
The way they would ask it.
They'd be like, so how do you feel about what your wife has accomplished?
And I'd be like, I think she did a great job.
Yeah, of course she did a great job.
That's that would be that line of life questioning.
But I'm very proud of all my wife's achievements.
I don't compare her to my mom at all.
Thank God.
I know you don't compare your wife to your mom because you're with a white woman.
I'm with a Spanish woman.
I'm with a Spanish woman that speaks Spanish and my mom speaks Spanish.
So you know what?
Alex Harlow, you created an RB album in her belly one day.
You know what I mean?
How dare you criticize Jack Harlow when you try to create more whites?
You doing everything in your power.
I'm trying to make more white people.
I'm trying to make more black people.
Listen, no, no, he's trying to get blacker.
You not.
No.
Hey, hey, Jack Harlow is trying to blacker.
We don't call Barack the first white president.
You out here.
We call him the first black.
You out here selling St. Patty's Day, you cracker ass.
First thing you said, you didn't celebrate Black History Month, not one day last month, Al.
I did a little bit.
What did you do?
I went to Spain with your white wife.
Spanish.
Spanish wife.
Making More Black People00:15:42
Let's get that straight.
She's a Spanish woman.
She's a beautiful, beautiful, lovely lady.
Beautiful, Spanish.
Beautiful, lovely lady.
White as can be.
Definitely from Northern Europe and migrating to Spain to help kick out the Browns.
Her family was probably one of the people that kicked the Moores out.
No, no.
When Dove's Dove's great grandma and grandpa came over to take over Spain, it was your wife's family that was like, get these fucking, I'm not going to say the word they would say.
She embraced them because her dad's a biologist and they wanted to.
Yo, bleep that.
Bleep that mission.
We're trying to do a podcast.
I didn't realize that Mark and Akash kept you at bay.
Oh, yeah.
Holy mother.
You're just, you're just a bad guy.
No, I love God knows my heart.
I hope the internet does too.
I hope the internet does too.
Damn, he's just called Dove and his family.
Did we bleep what he said?
Yes, we did.
Wow.
Yeah, we did.
I called them great people.
That's what I did.
We had to bleep it.
It was funny as I was complimenting them.
No, no, no.
It was worth bleeping it.
No, but you believed it and now they're running with it.
So they're thinking you meant something that you didn't say.
Oh, fuck.
Yeah, you're fine.
It's way worse.
You might as well just keep the thing you said.
Damn it.
So I really have to admit, Moore's a great human being.
Damn it.
That sucks.
Keep it in.
We got to work on Alice.
I know.
I know.
I'm not good.
I'm not good at it.
I'm not good.
I'm not good.
I was like one of these guys at 35 is learning what sarcasm is.
He even has his own tone and affect to it.
This is good.
I'm trying, guys.
All right.
Listen, this is all I got to say is.
If there's one thing I hope that Jack can appreciate is that some of the names that they gave him were hilarious.
He seems like a funny kid.
I hope naturally you put out an album.
You work really hard on it.
People judge it and it's going to hurt.
But calling him January 6th in Park is Disingenuine is funny.
No, De La Stole is funny.
I most definitely not admit.
IRS1 is fantastic.
That's great.
That's great.
Charlie Kirk Franklin is insane.
Hold on.
Yakub Kwali.
Hold on.
He's a cookie right now.
Wow.
No, that's fucked up.
They just called him straight up Daniel Caesar.
That's mean to our friend, friend of the show, Daniel Caesar.
We love Daniel Caesar.
Amazing musician.
That's disrespectful.
Okay.
Music Rothschild might be my favorite.
That's good.
That's good.
It sucks all the shit he's getting to.
Because I like Jack.
He's a funny guy.
Good personality.
I like him.
Proud boys to men is guys.
All right.
Stop it.
Just stop it.
Just stop it right now.
Okay.
So unfair with Jack's going through?
Would you rather that the album just be judged off the merits of the album and nothing to do with what he said in the interview?
Yes, but then I don't think as many people will tune into it.
So is there a version where like all the controversy gets people to go listen and then he is going to find the people that are into what he created?
I think so.
I think this, if the album's good over the long run, this helps it.
Okay, boom.
Because like I probably wouldn't have tuned in and now I probably will give it a listen just to see if you talk so much shit.
Yeah.
I gotta.
Actually, I don't give a fuck.
I'll keep talking shit, but still.
Nah, that's fucking insane.
That one.
Yo, Juju.
Oh, these are awesome.
Yo, the internet is fucking.
Yo, can we watch, because they just dropped the new trailer for Dune?
We probably can't watch it, right?
We're gonna get clipped if we watch it.
Why?
We're reviewing.
Yeah, I mean, talking over it and like pausing and stuff.
That's where we get caught is we just play it through.
Oh, we play it straight through.
All right, fair enough.
All right, so pause it every moment and you say a word.
Take the beer.
Take the beer from Al.
No, I'm not even cooking yet.
No, you're cooked.
What we need is a Chalam.
Okay, because they just dropped Dune part three.
Were you a fan?
Do you like to do something?
I love it.
Okay, you're into Doom.
Yeah, yeah.
Okay.
How do you think of him as an actor in Dune?
Great.
Phenomenal.
He's nice.
I think he's a good actor.
This is the revision of his three shit I don't like.
You said he's phenomenal acting.
I think he's phenomenal.
He's not phenomenal.
He's good.
Can you just give me baseline for phenomenal?
Is Leo your baseline for phenomenal?
Yeah, he's up there.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Okay.
And he's not Leo.
Yet.
Yes.
Is he Leo at 27?
How old was Leo when he was Gilbert Grape?
I can tell you.
That was wild.
That's funny.
You didn't have to do that.
He did say it.
He did say it.
Say the name of the cat Gilbert.
That was wild.
And I'm the bad one.
I'm not saying that you're bad, but like if I'm impersonated, like if you do Forrest Gump, how do you do his voice?
Do you go, I like chocolate?
No.
He was 19.
Say what?
He was 19.
Oh, geez, no, Leo.
Come on, son.
Come on.
This is just this.
It's become trendy to hate on him shit.
When did you notice that?
Jess, you just compared him to Leo, and then you asked the age.
And now that Leo was 19, acting better than Jalome.
We've never seen Chalame act mentally deficient.
We saw Marty Supreme.
No, Marty Supreme, I didn't see it.
But Marty Supreme, even just what do you mean, my guy?
I'm just being objective here.
Whoa.
I think he's a good actor.
I think he's a really good actor.
Phenomenal, actually.
No, not phenomenal.
You're lying.
You're capping.
And that's why we hate on it because you're capping.
I think he's phenomenal.
All right, Cap.
Keep going.
Cap, though.
That's bullshit.
You think he's the same level as Leo?
Same level as Denzel?
No, I don't think he's the same level as Leo.
I think like Leo Denzel are in a different, you know, phenomenal.
Yeah, Leo, but Denzel.
Okay, fine.
There's another level beyond it.
I don't think that Michael B. Jordan is in a different level than Chalame.
I don't, yeah.
I think they're the same level.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I actually think, I know we were talking about this on Idiots, but like I think that I think that I think that the Oscars, they did the right thing just giving it to the youth.
Because like you have to pump up the next generation of superstars in cinema, right?
You don't have the luxury of just giving Oscars to the actors that are absolutely phenomenal.
Like even if Leo did a better job in acting than both of them, it's kind of like in the best interest for the movie industry to crown Michael B or Timmy as the superstars.
And they low-key kind of did it.
Like who won the Golden Globe?
I think it was a different, maybe it was Maura or something like that.
Wonder Moore or something.
Yep.
Wagner Moore.
Wagner Moore won it, right?
And then that's a person or a movie.
No, that's that's a person.
He's the uh, he's the guy who was uh Narcos, right?
Wasn't that the first one where you saw him?
He's in a movie called The Secret Agent.
But like yes, he's from Narcos.
That's where we first saw him in Narcos.
Anyway, then you got Timmy, and then you have Timmy getting the BAFTA, right?
Do any of us care about movies?
No.
Not the BAFTA is the only thing we know about it was the Tourette's guy.
Yeah.
That's the whole show.
He won that.
Yeah.
Tourette's won the BAFTAs.
Who won best actor?
Robert Army.
Oh, interesting.
I remember Timmy winning something.
Timmy just had a losing year, bro.
I'm looking.
He didn't want it.
That whole movie didn't win an Oscar.
No, but I remember him winning some award.
Maybe it was Gold People's Choice or like what?
Oh, yeah.
Give him the one that don't count.
Why doesn't that one count?
People's choice.
Aren't you a man of the people?
You fucking industry hack.
What fucking Netflix deal or Warner Brothers deal did they give WTF when you did shit all over it?
Is it coming?
Yeah, yeah.
You never know.
He won best actor in a musical or comedy for the Golden Globe.
Oh, okay.
So, okay.
So fair enough.
So he did win Golden Globe.
Yeah, best actor for musical or comedy.
Okay.
So basically, my point is that they're starting to crown the next generation of superstars.
So I don't even know if it, and I think that's part of what these award things are about, right?
It's not like, okay, on, I don't want to be, I don't want to take away anybody's merits, but like the industry has to be thinking, okay, we need to stay alive.
We need to message to people out there in the world who the next crop of superstars are.
So when we put $300 million into a movie like Dune, everybody goes out and sees it because this is the guy.
Got it.
Like Michael B.
I didn't think they were looking at it that way.
I thought they're like, hey, let's get views up.
Everybody loves a race war.
And you like, just like prize fighting, like you make white guy versus black guy tune it.
Yeah, that's I thought that's what they made this out to be.
Oh, that's interesting.
Yeah, maybe.
I don't know.
I didn't, did you feel like race was a huge component going into this?
I didn't think it was with the BAFTA situation.
Yeah.
I mean, if it was Timmy who yelled it, then how do we know?
Yeah, not.
What fucking insane.
Timmy sat next to him and then he was like, no, it was a guy with Duran Jones.
That would die.
Yeah, so it's like, I don't know.
I just feel like, I feel like kind of the, in a weird way, the industry got what it wanted.
You know, like Michael B is a legit star superstar.
He's going to be the head of massive movies for the next fucking five, 10 years.
And then Timmy is a huge superstar on his own.
Up and coming, sure, but he'll probably never do a podcast again.
What's interesting about this is that like this rollout that he had for Marty Supreme was the, what I think most people are like, this is phenomenal.
You got awareness out for this movie.
Okay.
For the most part, at least the first few months of it, it was like he's wifeway a month.
He's the coolest motherfucker.
He knows everything.
At a certain point, I felt it was a little too much.
So that's the thing.
It was, for me, it was the Charlemagne moment.
When Charlemagne was hating on him on Brilliant Idiots, like he was joking around, but it was about like the Kendrick thing.
And I was like, oh, wow.
This is the first moment I've noticed like what some people call overexposure.
Does he get compensated for going on doing promo?
It's part of the contract.
Okay.
Yeah.
So it's like, but he put the movie on his back.
And the industry was basically looking at this movie going, if this movie doesn't do well, like if it doesn't crack like, you know, 60 million or 80 million or something like that, then like, we don't know if we can make movies that are about like obscure stories and no existing IP that nobody knows about.
That was the talk.
And then it did 150 or whatever it is.
And they were like, okay, we're still alive.
So there was this big sigh of relief in the industry.
But weren't they talking about the Leo movie the same way?
They were like, hey, movies are done because this movie didn't do shit.
And this Leo is supposed to have done stuff.
I think they put Leo in a different category as Timmy.
So they're basically going like, yeah, Leo should make a movie crack.
And when it didn't, they were terrified.
And then Timmy comes in with this movie that's maybe even more obscure.
So that was either going to confirm it or give them some hope.
Now seeing the backlash from like this opera ballet comment, I wonder if execs are one going to let him promote Doom like this.
Ooh.
And I wonder if they're going to let any of their big stars promote anything in this way.
Do you feel that the ballet comment even hurt the movie?
No, I don't think it hurt the movie, but I think that they're looking at like brand and they're looking protecting the brand like a star is a brand.
Gotcha.
And it's like to what we were talking about on Brilliant.
It's like an actor, when we were growing up, you really knew nothing about actors.
Like I don't know anything about Michael B. Jordan.
And that's a good thing.
I don't know anything about Tom Hanks, right?
Like we don't know anything about these people.
I don't know what type of food they like.
I don't know if they speak other languages.
I don't know where they vacation.
I really know nothing about these people.
And then they can become a character and then they kind of are that character to us.
Like Tom Hanks is a little bit of force gun to me.
Oh, yeah.
You know, like he, he, and he gets to live up to that.
He gets to become that.
The more we know a character as a person, when we see him not live up to that, one, it's trickier, right?
And then, well, one, it's trickier.
And then it's almost like seeing an like an athlete in a movie that's not playing themselves.
Yeah.
Do you know what I mean?
Or like seeing Ed Sheeran in Game of Thrones.
You're like, ah, I love Ed.
He's the best in the world.
But like in that moment, I was like, oh, we're watching a show and I'm not just kind of like a voyeur in this.
It took me out of the world.
Yes.
So I wonder if like sharing so much of self, like we live in this fucking share culture where everybody knows everything about everyone.
And I wonder if the advantage of the actor, the lifetime actors, is us knowing nothing about them so they could just seamlessly become these people.
Like Denzel Washington to me knows kung fu.
Do you know what I mean?
Like Keanu Reeves is a master at martial arts.
He might not be.
When did Denzel do Kung Fu?
Just in every movie where he can take away your gun or something.
Oh, gotcha.
No, but like to me, I'm like, I think he could fuck somebody up.
Like I kind of believe it.
You know, so it's, I wonder if, I wonder if the industry starts to go, okay, sharing your opinions with the world, it might be good for like a promotional pop initially, but the cost is every opinion you share is going to potentially rub somebody the wrong way who has a different opinion.
But then at the same time, I feel a little sorry for the actors.
Not sorry, but it's like I understand them wanting to get their personality out there because, like, me, for example, whatever actor, whatever your biggest role is, I just call you that.
So it's like, like Keanu's forever just Neo to me.
You know, so it's like, imagine having to be a famous actor and then people are just like calling you the character name when you pass by.
That shit would be, that would piss me off.
This is the great advantage that like stand-up comedians have.
Like, if you like us for our comedy, that's who we are.
Yeah.
Especially if you're not like playing a character.
So it's like, if you like me for the things I say, I feel really validated when you go, hey, I love your stuff.
And I wonder sometimes with actors, when somebody loves them, I wonder if in their head they're going, you don't know anything about me.
You love, you love Neo from The Matrix.
Like, you don't love me.
You love this character that this other person wrote.
And I wonder if there's that little gap there.
And some of them don't have an ego.
Like, I don't think Keanu has any fucking ego at all.
It's like one of the most likable things about him.
But I wonder if some of them are like annoyed.
They're like, I got in entertainment because I want a validation from people and I want people to love me.
And they don't actually love me.
Yeah.
They love these things.
I got to be a little annoying.
But then you could just look at your bank account and your lifestyle and be like, you know what, I'll deal with it.
Some of them, yeah.
And I wonder if others are like, no, I gotta, I want to write my own things.
So you know, so I'm getting the validation for what I've created.
So now I have to ask you because now you're going the opposite direction.
You're going from podcasting comedy where everybody knows you.
Yeah.
And now you're transitioning into Hollywood.
So it's like the veil's already down.
So it's like, is that going to hurt you?
Help you.
Are you going to stop maybe showing yourself?
Like, do you have to restrict yourself?
I like, there's certain things that I probably, like, I don't really share much in my family.
Like, if I am talking about my family, like the whole fucking last special, it's like, it's in a version I feel like safe.
Like, I didn't feel comfortable telling a joke about Shiloh until Lincoln.
Oh, wow.
I was so, it was so hard for us to get pregnant.
Playing Ugly Shit for Acting00:02:19
I was so like superstitious.
I was like, God forbid I tell a joke.
And this is silly to think, but like in my head, I'm like, is God going to smite me?
Like, I'm saying one joke about this baby that we shouldn't have even had.
And then you got a sense of humor, bro.
I know.
It's stupid.
It's completely irrational thinking.
I am aware of it, but I was so superstitious, you know?
And, but I do think that like, I think the roles, for example, that I've been offered and been able to do are roles that are not that dissimilar from who I am.
Oh, okay.
Right.
Like, nobody's really asked me to act yet.
Got you.
But do you want to?
Do you want to get the role that forces you to Daniel Day-Lewis yourself?
No, I don't want to, I don't need to be my left foot.
No.
No, like, I would like to like for me, what's exciting is like, you know, obviously learning acting, learning how to be on set, learning how to tell stories and like learning what is good and what to avoid and like getting more comfortable with it.
But also, I would like to like write or be part of writing and creating something.
And then like if that creation is supported, I'll feel validated by that.
Gotcha.
Oh, okay.
Okay.
Okay.
But I think just like being a character that's nothing.
Podcast is safe, guys.
But like being a character that is nothing like me, you know, it's, I don't know, maybe there'd be something nice to like, you know, exist outside of yourself a bit.
But yeah, I wonder if you get jealous of your creation.
Like, I wonder if that happens to people.
Yeah.
I can't see it not happening.
That would piss me off.
Yeah.
Like, what if you had what if the thing you were most known for in the entire world?
Was this something that would like?
I wonder this with like Steve Urkel.
Oh, yeah.
Are you trapped by it?
Like, you just called him shows.
You just called him Steve Urkel.
Yeah.
No, like, and the dude is in Jalal Way.
Jalil is not like Steve Urkel at all.
Yeah.
Like, Jalil's like this cool, swaggy dude.
He played that character because he's a really fucking strong actor that could do it.
But is there a version where he's like, I need to show I'm not that?
I need to demonstrate that that's not who I am because that's who the world will see you as.
That's what the kid stars do.
Like Disney actors go through like their Disney stage and they'll do something that's like overtly sort of sexualized or something that breaks them out of like the kid version of who they were.
The Fourth Wing Phenomenon00:04:04
Yeah.
That happens a lot with like the children actors.
That's why I think sometimes actors do like a movie where they're ugly.
Oh, yeah, for sure.
This is Jacob Alordi and Frankenstein.
Jacob Alordi and Frankenstein or like 6'3 and hot.
When Sidney Sweeney was in the movie where she was the female boxer.
Oh, Chrissy.
Yeah, yeah, Chrissy.
And it's like, it's like, okay, I'm known for being this beautiful human being.
Yeah.
And a great actor.
But maybe there's this part of your head where you're like, am I just known for being hot?
I got to play some ugly shit to show that my acting can carry.
And then when it backfires, you're like, I got to be a hot shit.
I'm the handmaid.
That shit backfired so much.
Nobody watched that shit.
And then she follows it up where, hey, I'm the hot girl that the husband cheats on me with.
And boom, that movie goes box.
You know what's crazy?
That movie did 400 million, right?
That movie did 400 million.
And it's women that supported it.
Yeah, because they hoes too.
Women like beautiful women with tits.
No, but like the idea, I think, for a lot of people was like, oh, yeah, put her in like a skinny little outfit and like show it off.
And then guys are going to show up.
No, that's a book women read.
Really?
If women read one of those books, it's out of here.
Oh, but they like that smut book shit.
If, son, if I, if I was a movie studio, I got to do it for a little bit.
I was like, oh, these are fuck.
One of the ones Fourth Wing?
Yeah, yeah.
I was in.
I was in.
I was watching.
You know, that's going to be a movie that's a billion-dollar price.
Yeah.
Oh, that's.
I'm tuning.
I'm buying early.
What is the point?
What is the premise?
Because my wife was reading it.
She started to talk to me about it.
Yeah.
And it was like, there's dragons in it and whatever.
Yeah, like dragons, fairies.
You're not going to make fun of me for watching sci-fi ever again.
You know what I mean?
If you watch it, if you're watching Girl Game of Thrones, like, yeah.
So what's the premise of it?
Honestly, Miles, you could probably do a better job than me because I don't know, Fourth Wing.
I never read Fourth Wing.
No, I don't read that geisha, bro.
No, I just read that nerd science.
He's like, I don't read the geisha.
I just hang out with the geisha.
Fourth Wing by Rebecca Yaros is the first book in the Empyrean series, a popular fantasy romance novel about Violet Soren Gale, who was forced to join a brutal war college for dragon riders, despite her fragile body facing deadly challenges and ruthless wing leader Zayden Riorson, who is also her enemy.
The book is known for its romanticy.
Oh, that's what they're calling smut.
Oh, wow.
Anyway, so yeah, the dragons are supposed to choose you.
And then apparently, she's just some weakling, but she's special.
And somehow, two dragons end up choosing her.
So she's the only girl who got two dragons.
And then she's.
Miles, this is feeling Game of Thrones-y, Miles.
I might check it out.
I might have to smut shit.
Anyway, if I was a studio, I'm buying up every novel that women read, and I'm buying up every video game.
You probably can't even afford them now, but I'm buying every video game.
Well, this is like that post-Harry Potter thing.
Tell me.
Harry Potter comes out.
It's a sensation, crazy sensation.
And then they do every book after that has like a young like teen who's like going through the world and has something similar to that.
You had Aragon, you had the Katniss one where Hunger Games.
Hunger Games.
I mean, even all the way to the vampire one where the guy sparkles.
Twilight?
Twilight.
Like that's all post-Harry Games.
Derrotive of Harry Potter.
They're all picking up, trying to make their next one.
My wife told me that there was a line at Barnes and Noble when the new Harry Potter would drop.
I used to wait in those at midnight.
Like that's how poppin'.
Think about this.
That's how poppin' a book with.
Can you remember a line at Barnes and Noble?
No.
The only lines I saw were sneaker drops.
It was sneaker drops.
It would be like, remember sometimes a movie would come out on Thursdays.
Yeah.
Like Thursdays?
And then I would remember, it would be late.
It'd be like midnight, Thursday.
You would see a movie theater crazy.
I haven't seen a line at a movie theater in a minute.
Movie Theater Energy Shifts00:03:45
That's another thing.
Yeah.
Like, remember on 14th Street, there's like a Union Square.
Do you ever go down?
Oh, yeah, yeah.
And there'd be like a line down a block.
And then back now, I'm aging myself when a new CD would drop.
Oh, hell.
Like, would wait for tower records?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Because there was only a few spots to get them.
Yeah, I wonder.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I'm trying to think.
That is the one issue with the consumption.
Not one issue, but like that's the issue with consumption online.
Like watching things streaming.
It's not only, I don't even care being in the movie theater to watch something with somebody else.
But in the same way that like when you go to a theme park, the line waiting to get on to the ride, there's like some like the energy and excitement in that line.
That's kind of what I felt a little bit like going to a movie.
Yeah.
You know, especially a big drop.
You know, like everybody.
It doesn't seem like you go to movies anymore.
Nah, bro.
I mean, I think the last one I saw was Wicked One.
Wow.
Was there another one since?
Wow.
Yeah, the Wicked 2 came out.
I didn't see it, I don't think.
I still go to movies.
I like movies.
What was the last one you saw?
Oh, I saw Marty Supreme in theaters.
I think there was something else I saw recently.
Oh, I saw Wicked 2?
Yeah, I think those are the last two.
Yeah.
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So will her.
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Chris Pratt Flute Bloopers00:13:48
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Now let's get back to the show.
Are you going to see Dune?
Yeah.
I'm excited for Dune.
When does Dune come out, Joey?
November 18th.
Oh, we got...
I got tickets to Project Hail Mary already.
I'm excited.
Why are they putting a trailer now?
Oh, because I imagine they thought Timmy was going to win.
Oh, fuck.
Yeah, they had that shit.
Oh, Timmy, you fucked it up, bro.
That's not Timmy.
Yo, he dropped a bag, bro.
Here's a question.
If he never says anything about ballet or opera, or can we put on our little conspiracy hats?
Okay.
Because the craziest conspiracy is obviously like, you know, some publicist or whatever was trying to bury his name leading up to this campaign, right?
A publicist that obviously represented either Michael B or maybe one of the other people there, right?
That's the most crazy.
That's the Charlamagne theory.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
He started that shit in that random.
People are going to do that right now.
Like, as I'm talking, I feel like one of the New York Times journalists, I have to be very delicate without it.
But like, he goes, so, so here's the thing.
I don't think anybody, I don't think anybody is going, oh, let's snip that and put that out in the world and make Timmy look bad because I don't think there's anybody at a publicist's office that could possibly think people could give a fuck about ballet or opera.
Like, definitely opera.
None of y'all even know where an opera house is.
None of y'all can name a song in opera.
Yeah.
You know what I mean?
Like, so ballet, maybe a little bit more.
So, but there is a thing when something does gain traction, can you juice it?
I think gas it.
They just saw the moment.
Like, if you look at it.
Who's they?
Who is they?
The producers of that interview.
They saw that moment, how uncomfortable he was.
You think they released it?
Yeah.
And I don't even think with the intention of like, oh, let's harm him.
They're just like, oh, this is going to be a good clip.
Which interview are we talking about?
With McConaughey.
You see how uncomfortable Shelman gets immediately.
He's like, oh, fuck.
I just 14 cents I just lost on viewership.
And then now he's like, then he tries to sing some opera to try to like, you know, get back in their good graces.
Like he knows it's an uncomfortable moment.
And they're like, oh, this is a clip right here.
Who cannot make that?
They put out that clip themselves.
That's nasty work.
Yeah, it's a variety, a variety.
They put the clip out.
That's nasty work.
I didn't know they released the clip themselves and they put out the interview.
Yes.
Oh, that's crazy.
Yeah.
Yeah.
If I'm a star of a movie, I don't think they thought it was going to go get this bad.
What would they think it was going to do?
It was going to win them, the Asuka.
There's no way, right?
Nah, they're just like, yo, we need these views.
We need these clicks.
Oh, you already got McConaughey and Timmy.
They agreed to do this.
Neither of them are making any money.
Clicks, man.
Come on.
Yeah, I love to take my worst moments and make a shit.
But is that, yeah, is that the internet?
Did we ever tell the people the commercial we shot how you took my one line I fucked up?
It's amazing.
Can you tell them?
Yeah, we have that.
You have the Kraken commercial that we did for the holidays.
And what's the line you're supposed to say?
I was like, you want me to play the fiddle?
You want me to play the fiddle boss?
Yeah, you want me to play the fiddle, boss, right?
Al says it right like five or six times.
Mad times.
And then one day he goes, he goes, you want me to play the flute horn too?
And I was like, this is the funniest thing that Al could possibly say.
And I was shocked it made sense in the edit.
Yeah, no one called it up.
Nobody.
It looked like we wrote it.
Acting.
See, I'm just saying, sometimes a star is right here.
I think the problem with the way that we act when we shoot sketches is like, not a single line that was written is what we said.
What you mean?
Like, I got a lot of respect for people who just like write a show.
And if you just say those lines, it's going to be funny and great.
Sorry.
Oh, shit.
Damn.
Oh, yeah.
You got it?
All right, go.
You want me to play the flute lord?
The flute horn out?
I spent $300 on this gift.
You almost break it.
You almost break it.
Because right there, go play it again.
Play it again.
Joy.
Ride a horse.
Pick some berries.
Oh, picking.
Like, what else do they do there?
You want me to play the flute lord?
The flute horn out?
I spent $300 for this gift out.
You know?
And then it gets such a big laugh in the room.
I was like, oh, fuck.
This is going to be a what?
That's staying in.
But that's how all great things are shot.
Like, if you, I think there's a famous scene where a guy breaks his leg and hot rod and he's jump doing a jump and he lands it like 100 times.
And then the final one, he falls, breaks his leg.
And they go, We're going to use one where he breaks his leg and falls.
And like, all great, like the office or like 30 rock.
There's so many cutscenes where they have to move the camera because someone's laughing.
It's so much better.
Bro, you know who has some bangers?
What's the guy's name, man?
I can't believe I'm forgetting his name.
The actor from The Office.
He's also Guardians of the Galaxy.
Oh, Chris Pratt.
Chris Pratt.
He's in 30 Rock.
Parks and Rec.
Parks and Rec.
Sorry.
He's got the best ones.
Bring up some of his shit from Parks and Rec.
I keep wiping and it just is there.
That's the one where Aubrey Plaza breaks and they have to move the camera and she looks away.
Yeah.
Dude, there was a Key and Peel sketch where it was like a rap battle or something.
I don't know.
Did you see this one?
You've probably seen it, but there's a Kean Peel sketch where they have people watching in the back, right?
And what they're doing to one another.
I don't know if you can bring it up, Joey.
But what they're doing to one another, the battle, whatever it is, it's so funny that they tell the extras, if you have to laugh, turn around.
Watching it again, knowing that it's so funny.
Oh, yeah, so many just look at the people in the background that out of nowhere are just like, Yeah, yeah, see if you can get that sketch out.
Let's see this.
Let's see.
Yeah, watch, watch some of uh Chris's.
Was Chris Pratt a comedian?
I think he did stand up a couple times.
He said that, I think, to Bill Maher, and then he uh then he did mostly comedic acting.
But this guy's good.
All right, go.
Are you aware of what Tennessee is?
Yeah, what point comes after juice?
Wipe, bro.
I did not know he's as funny.
I have hot snakes.
Hot snakes.
That's when the diarrhea comes out like a hot snake.
I'll wipe and I'll wipe and I'll wipe and I'll wipe a hundred times.
Still poop, still poop.
It's like I'm wiping a marker or something and practice.
Pause it.
Oh, he's great.
Chris Pratt is that dude, man.
He's so fucked.
Yeah.
There's so many good shows that just I can watch the bloopers.
A TikTok will come up and it'll be the bloopers.
And I'll just be like, all right, five minutes of this.
Here we go.
Is he the one in that weird ass religion?
No, no.
I thought he got in trouble for being in a weird religion.
No, he just got in trouble for believing in God.
Yeah, he just is tentos down on Christianity.
He's like, I'm a Christian.
And they're like, you fucking animal.
Why are we hating on?
Listen, we're in.
What are we in?
I don't even know what to call it.
Because you don't really, you don't get fired, but we are in like outrage.
We're just again in outrage culture where it's just like everybody's angry at everything.
But usually that means things are good.
Explain that.
That's a nice take.
When things are good, it's like you have to search for stuff to be outraged about.
Usually that's a good sign.
No, that's a great point.
We're in things are horrible and outrageous.
That's why this shit is too exhausting.
It's like there's enough shit to actually be outraged by.
You don't got to be upset about opera.
But right now, we're upset at war and opera with the same level of vitriol.
Oh, I can't take it.
I'm damn about to slip my wrist every other day.
Wait, Jesus.
You just got tattooed.
You know what I mean?
You're going to cut.
Hold on.
You're going to kill Martin again?
You can't kill Martin Luther King twice, Al.
No, don't let the one people win.
I'm going to give him a lineup.
Nice lineup.
Okay.
Sherry got black leaders on his wrist just so he doesn't kill himself.
That's how much I was trying to make it through the next day.
Who are you getting on that left forearm, bro?
God did Hitler so I can finish the job.
Come on.
Jokes.
No, he was on the right side of history, right?
Yeah, right?
See?
Finish the job.
All right, play this key and feel joy.
This shit cracked me the fuck up.
Listen.
What the fuck is going on?
Pause.
Pause.
How do you make a show that's just bloopers?
I mean, America's funny in some videos.
No, no, I mean, like, how do you make a scripted show?
I think, I think you can't because the bloopers are what you're watching because they did it right for so long.
Yeah, you need them.
You need a show to be beloved for 10 seasons to get great bloopers out of it.
I don't need, I don't know if that's the case because, like, even at the end of movies when we were kids, there'd be like the blooper reel.
That's two hours of commitment to the characters.
Sure, sure, sure.
But like eight episodes of that.
There is something funny to me inherently about seeing like you even watch an SNL sketch and when someone breaks, oh, yeah, it's funnier than the point of the sketch.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And it's just like, maybe we're craving like real authentic moments.
Like somebody was probably somebody was asking me this the other day.
They're like, do you laugh at stand-up?
And I'm like, yeah, like I'm like a laugher.
I like to like, if something's funny, I'd like to give it up.
But like, I, I do also like think about it when I'm watching somebody funny.
I'm like, ooh, that's a good bit.
Or like that.
Like, it's like an analysis.
But when something happens that's not supposed to happen, I die.
I same, same thing.
Cranks get me because the other person is authentically reacting in that moment.
I just love the thing that comics do when you guys are in the room watching other comics.
You guys just laugh incredibly loud.
Yeah.
Like out of support.
Why do you do that?
Maybe it's just like it's like one of these unread rules that y'all all do this shit.
It's like when a baseball player tips the hat or something like that.
It's, I think it's, yeah, I do know what you're talking about.
Yeah.
Like they all do this shit.
You're trying to build the room a little bit.
Not even, no.
It's more, I think it's more just a message to the comedian.
Like, oh, that was a good joke.
Okay.
Like, oh, you popped us.
Ah, okay.
That was fire.
Do you like when you hear the comic that lads a little less?
Always validating when you hear your peers laugh.
Gotcha.
Okay.
All right.
So that's what he does.
You know, it's one of that shit.
That shit is so funny to me.
Like, they'll be in the corner.
Just like, yeah, it does throw some shit off.
On some level, there is probably like an attention-seeking nature to it.
Oh, you know, but like, I think the main core of it is like, hey, that was an awesome joke.
And I would like you to know that I know.
Gotcha.
Which is great.
It's like, we ever hear like a director talk about another director?
Like favorite.
Yeah.
Or like even a musician talk about another music.
You're just like, you imagine what that other musician or director is feeling in that moment.
You're like, oh, he's got a lot.
Quentin Tarantino is just saying how incredible this person is.
Oh, yeah.
If you get love from your peers, that's yeah.
Yeah.
That's dope.
That is fire.
Yeah.
So I don't know.
I don't know what's going to happen in the world, man.
So you've been stressed.
Yeah, but it's a lot to do with seasonal depression.
I get that every winter.
And I think.
Are you out of it now that we had some good days?
Towards a tail end, but it's still whatever.
You know, it's got to suck when people are depressed in the winter and then like the summer comes and they're still depressed.
And they're just like, oh, I got that shit all seasons.
Is that what you know?
But like that feeling, you know, like where you think, oh, it's just winter the second some sun comes out and that sun's hitting, you're just like, I still want to jump off this building and feel the sun coming down on my head, you know?
Royal Marriages and Pressure00:05:38
Nah, yeah.
That's why I feel it's like real pussy shit that it's like.
It's a pussy.
It's a lot of people.
I look at the shit as like, really, like, my girl gives me no sympathy at all.
Oh, you're at that stage?
Oh, yeah, yeah.
She's like, welcome, this is something you just tell yourself.
You are married, bro.
Wait till they have a kid to take care of.
You can't be tired again.
Women own exhaustion once you have a kid.
When I used to get sick, she used to take care of me.
She's like, oh, let me know when you're feeling better.
I'm like, the fuck?
My wife gives me one hour.
That's the soup or something, man.
One hour.
My wife is an amazing woman.
She's incredibly supportive, incredible.
She, I cannot be sick for more than one hour to the point where, and I like making sounds.
Like when I'm hungry, you'll hear me talk about it.
When I'm sick, you're going to hear me talk about it.
And she got like one hour of tolerance for that.
And after that, she just ignores me.
When I'm making sounds in front of you, I want you to react to those sounds.
Like, I'm like, oh, I want you to be like, is your stomach okay?
Yeah.
She'll just go the other way.
That's cool.
She knows that's not.
Yeah.
So by she not there yet.
She'll still react to the sound.
She thinks I'm being a pussy.
She's like, man, up.
She's like, I haven't slept in three years.
She's been calling me that all winter.
She just says you're a pussy straight up.
Not straight up.
Not straight up.
I was talking about it.
Well, I was talking to it.
Was me, her, and one of my friends.
And I was like discussing it.
And she just eye rolls.
Son, they do that.
He was like, and he pointed it out.
He's like, what she did?
She's like, you know, it's a New York thing.
I'm like, the fuck is on a New York thing?
That's how you know she's white, bro.
Because if she was Spanish, if she was Spanish.
Mary's son, you know, culture.
No, you're white.
They got a lot of son over there.
They don't suffer from low vitamin D over there.
If she was a Spanish Latina, she would be cooking you fucking a roast con pollo.
She'd be trying to nurse you back to hell.
She should be trying to get me fat right now.
My mom would never.
That's true.
That's why I haven't told my mom because my mom would have damn near moved in.
Really?
Yeah.
She's like that.
Yeah, she's nice.
Move her back to New York for a little bit, man.
No, she's taking care of my.
I have another nephew.
I got two now.
What's the second one named?
Alexander.
After you?
Yeah.
But you're not even really Alexander.
Why you gotta, why you gotta kill it?
Hold on.
Why do you gotta kill it?
Hold on.
Your sister named her kid after your stage name?
Why can't it just be after me?
That's like naming somebody's kid Eminem.
That would be fine.
We don't know.
Marshall, you go with the real name.
Do people know your real name?
Uh-oh.
I'm not going to say it because I know it's something you're embarrassed of.
No, I'm not embarrassed about it.
I just like to keep the separation.
It's no embarrassment.
So did she ask you, hey, do you want me to name it after your real name or your stage name?
No.
She was like thinking about several names.
I threw Alexander out there.
Well, I threw Alex with two X's out there.
Oh, my God.
She was.
She wouldn't do the two X's.
I'm still trying to be like, it's still early enough.
You can change it.
But yeah, so she compromised.
She gave me Alexander.
Wow.
Yeah, I know.
It's fire.
And how did her husband feel about this?
Oh, so he's British and they do like long names.
So it's like he got two of his names in the whole shit.
It's like Alexander, Montague, James, something.
He's like five or six names in it.
You threw a Montague in there?
I think so.
I don't know if she wants me to tell all this stuff.
No, Montague is Shakespeare, my boy.
Yeah.
No, he has a fire name.
It's a nice, strong name.
Can somebody tell me?
It's like royalty.
The Montagues.
Jesus, Alex.
We were so close of just moving on.
Don't put.
Don't royals fuck kids.
Ain't that what they're known for now?
There is a royal.
I mean, historically, probably.
Oh, they fuck cousins.
That they do.
There you go.
100%.
So that.
So they're from Alabama.
Yeah, that gene pool is a kiddie pool.
That gene pool is just the shallowest.
But like, all right, what are you supposed to do if you were royal back in the day?
Right?
Yeah.
And marriage got nothing to do with if you love someone or not.
Okay.
It's just, I would imagine, and you know, obviously you guys tap in here.
I imagine it's just about consolidating power.
Yeah.
Right?
It's like, we got to have another kid because if I don't have a kid, which is crazy pressure, if I don't have a kid, a man, a boy, this whole kingdom goes to somebody else.
Okay.
Wild pressure.
You could see why that king cut the wife's head off.
Oh, Henry.
Yes.
Get me on board!
Is there a boy in there?
No.
But yeah, like that, that insane pressure.
You got to have a fucking boy.
You're just married.
And then you're marrying somebody who's either like, I don't even know if they could marry nobility.
They got to marry another royal.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So, how many kingdoms are there even in Europe?
You got six different families that you can even choose somebody from.
Yeah.
So eventually they're all kind of related at some point, right?
Yeah.
That was the thing I think about World War I. Like it was just a bunch of cousins at war with each other.
That's crazy.
Right.
Yeah.
And you couldn't have just worked that out.
People, yo, rich people shit, dude.
Healthy Eating vs Sugar Cravings00:14:26
That's what, that's what I've also figured out.
That, like, you know how rich people like don't pay taxes?
Oh, you?
No, I paid, I paid too much.
No, well, you know, you're rich enough then.
I know.
Yes, I know this.
But you know how they don't pay taxes?
Yeah.
And how annoying that is?
That's what it feels like when skinny people take Ozempic.
Right?
It's that same feeling.
It's like, you already got it.
Like, you fucking got it already.
Why do you need to go more with it?
But then the thing, it's like they end up taking too much and then they look fucking horrible.
Yeah.
So now it's like karma.
Go do it.
What are your thoughts on the Ozempic thing?
You're someone who's fluctuated in weight.
You're always.
I got close to it.
I got close to taking it if I couldn't get my weight down.
Because remember, I had, what's it called?
High blood sugar.
Yeah.
Wait, wait.
So you would have a medical reason to do it?
No, no, no.
So October 2024, I was pre-diabetic.
I got a physical.
I was pre-diabetic.
No way.
Yeah.
So my doctor put me on Metformin.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And then I cut out all sugar.
I went on like a super keto diet.
I dropped like almost 30 pounds in about four months.
But if I wasn't able to lose it and get my sugar on track, I would have did the shit.
I didn't know that you were.
Do you eat that much sugar?
When you've seen me.
Yeah, but you're so diligent about your diet usually that like you can't control yourself.
But then I go off and then it goes crazy.
Whoa.
So now it has to be all or nothing.
Well, I just don't do any sugar.
It doesn't have to be all or nothing.
It has to be I don't have, it has to be nothing.
Yeah.
That's what I mean.
Because if it's all, you're going to lose a foot.
Yes.
So now it's just nothing.
Yeah.
I can, every time it's somebody's birthday, I don't indulge.
I need to understand your relationship.
Speaking of, your birthday is tomorrow.
Oh, yeah.
Why are you asking?
How old are you going to be?
35.
My ass.
You've been 35 for four years.
Say, no, what are you?
What are you really turning?
39.
This is the worst birthday.
40 is liberating.
Yeah, because 40, you're the youngest old.
You're the oldest young.
You're the oldest young right now.
I still look good for my age, though.
Nobody's questioning that.
You're on Metformin.
You haven't met Foreman.
Cheating.
Not now.
Actually, I got my sugar on track.
So I'm off everything.
And you're not just continuing it?
Yeah.
Oh, I've been taking a fucking statin every single day.
I have no clue what it is.
Oh, it really does.
Yeah.
Oh, but that's for your heart.
That's different.
What is it?
What's up with my heart?
I mean, you were probably calcifying some arteries.
And I thought calcium was good until like two years ago.
My whole childhood was like, oh, you need to get your calcium.
You need to get your calories.
I had so much of it that my heart is a fucking stone.
So I had to get on this statin.
I used to drink milk with like meals.
I was one of those families.
Yeah, me too.
Oh, yeah.
I would have milk like after exercise.
I'd be like, and then drink milk.
What an insane thing to do right now.
I know.
If I have cereal, dude, this is how old I am.
If I have cereal, I have to be delicate with the amount of milk.
Why?
Because I just won't be able to walk for the rest of the day.
I'll just feel stomach pains for the entire day.
I used to put a whole bowl of milk in this.
I want milk last.
You want the milk after.
I want milk after.
I might want to put the more cereal in it.
Let's soak that shit.
Oh, yeah.
I write it back like a good two times.
Oh, of course.
And then you got to do the balance of a little more cereal, a little more milk.
I got a third of milk in there.
Milk got too warm.
You got to have more calcium.
You can't have more milk.
I got a third of milk in there.
And then I'm mashing the cereal into the bottom of the bowl.
Okay, now that's a spike can get a little bit of milk.
That's crazy.
Oh, no.
Yeah.
It's either that or not being able to walk for a day because I had a bowl of cereal at 42 years old.
Yeah.
Yeah, nobody told you this.
Yeah, I can't do cereal anymore, dude.
Oh, the best part is when you get the end of the cereal bag, if you're doing something sugar at the end, and that last sip of milk is, yeah, oh man, good old age.
You guys are talking about my drug of choice there.
It's cereal, right?
Cereal is my biggest drug.
Like, I could give up drinking tomorrow.
What you got in the cabinet right now?
I got it all, dude.
I got healthy shit.
I got bad.
No, no, no.
Give me the whole cabinet right now.
Unhealthy stuff is going to be.
Start with healthy.
Oh, start with healthy.
Yeah.
Special K red berries.
Okay, hold on one second because that's what I have.
My herd is not that healthy.
I know.
I heard you guys.
That's why I started talking about it.
I'm so passionate.
The special K. When we were kids, we thought we were like eating salad.
It was salad.
Yeah, yeah.
And it was a different color, different texture.
I think it had less sugar on it.
Like they turned special K into frosted flakes without telling us.
Do you remember what it tasted like a kid when we were kids?
Dude, I wasn't doing special K.
I was doing all the bad ones.
Son.
That was cinnamon toast crunch.
I have a gooey toast.
I got cinnamon toast crunch.
I got a grease is one.
Cinnamon Toast Crunch is why people have strokes.
Yeah.
100%.
That's why people have strokes.
Or cookie crisp.
Oh, yeah.
I wasn't a big fan of that one.
Just the idea that you would eat a bowl of cookie.
What the fuck does some like refugee from Russia think when they show up to America and they're in somebody's house and there's just a bowl of little cookie cookies?
This is breakfast every morning.
Yeah.
No, I would do it though.
Raisin Brand Crunch.
So it's like raisin brand crunch.
Of course, of course, of course.
And they're like, no.
Do the granola crunches in there.
Crunch and sugar in the shit.
Okay, go.
So you've got special K red berries, which is goat cereal.
Yeah.
Goat adult cereal.
Yeah, that was huge.
Hunch sweet enough.
Yeah.
But you think because it's grandfathered in through the health, you think it's healthy.
I don't even convince myself.
I've heard some doctors say you should just eat the box.
It's healthier to just eat.
And I'm like, yeah, it's my drug choice.
I got excited for Satan.
I was like, we could eat the whole box.
All right, go, Honey bunches of oats with the almonds in it, the blue box.
That shit is, I'll be honest with you.
That's ass, bro.
But that's when you think you're being fake healthy.
That's the mom and dad cereal.
You want to know?
Mom and dad thought that was healthy.
So you're like, all right, fuck it.
Let me let me eat this grown-up food.
It's funny because that was my mom's.
Of course, I finished mine.
I would just go to that one.
Yeah, but it's kind of ass.
No, I love that one.
But you can do honey bunches of oats, just bunches.
That shit will ruin your life.
Oh, so that's just the sugar part.
Yeah, just the sugar part.
That shit is fun.
So they take the Nature Valley granola bars.
Remember those hard shits that you could put like under a table that you're eating out at to level it?
They just crunch those up and put it in the bag.
2,000 calories.
Easy.
Yeah.
To the face.
Okay.
Oh, fuck.
What else?
Damn, I want a goddamn crazy.
Captain Crunch Crunchberries.
Captain Crunch Crunch.
I don't like the crunchberry cereal.
That's my one issue.
The crunchberry one, that's fine.
Miles knows his shit.
I ain't gonna lie.
Miles?
Also, 2% milk because I'm a fat white kid.
Nah, that's healthy, right?
2% was we would go whole.
Jesus 3%.
That's even, yeah, that's even more.
Hold on.
It's only 3%.
I think so.
I thought it was 100%.
No, I thought it went.
I thought it went.
I might be wrong.
I might be wrong.
Hold on.
It's not the 2% bed.
It was like mad water.
Oh, my God.
It's the milk type of bit.
And that's skim was like, like, just they just take the little titty of the cow and they just do one squirt into a fucking gallon of water.
I thought, oh, that is fucking news to me, Miles.
It's 3.25%.
Get the fuck out of here.
Yo, that is crazy.
Yeah, I just learned something.
And then Skim's damn near fat-free.
It's like water, basically.
Yeah, it's skimming.
I don't even eat it.
If you had skim milk, if I woke up and like there was just skim milk in the fridge, I was like, I'm going back to bed.
Like, this is might as well just put water in your shit.
My mom would eat skim milk and then eat a wheel of cheese at night.
And I'm like, just fucking pick your points.
What the fuck you doing?
You got a dairy factory in your stomach.
Oh, man.
Okay.
But yeah, I mean, I just got, I'm like, I go to that bodega at night, and this guy knows me so well.
This guy yoga hardly speaks English.
And he just, if I don't buy cereal, he's like, are you okay?
Like, is everything all right?
Like, yeah.
Wayne, did you hit us with the unhealthy shit yet?
Crunchberries?
Yeah, crunch berries.
I really like Reese's puffs.
That's too much.
I taste too sweet now.
And it gets on the top of your mouth.
It's not sweet.
There's nothing too sweet.
No, you got to think.
I got it.
You got a real thing, huh?
Cinnamon toast crunch.
Cinnamon Toast Crunch rules.
The only chocolate one I like is cocoa pebbles.
Ice sugar cooked with honey nut Cheerios and then add honey on top.
I thought I was being like I was cultured.
Because I was adding honey.
And I would steal the honey packets from McDonald's.
You know, my fucking son.
These kids don't know about doctoring your own cereals.
My mom would buy the Cheerios with no sweetener or whatever.
Oh, like Kellogg's.
What was it called?
Like the off-bread honey nut cheerful.
Just regular Cheerios.
Okay.
Cornflakes or not honey nut Cheerios, just cheerios.
Cheerios, yeah.
And then she would put the sugar on herself, like some old, like she was from communism or something like that.
And like, I'm not gonna lie, putting your own sugar on the cornflakes.
Yeah.
Don't leave that up to Kellogg's, bro.
I did that.
You gotta do that at home.
Yeah, that's a legendary.
Honey on the honey nut Cheerios is weird because I don't think it would mix in.
Bruh, you gotta keep.
You gotta keep.
Do it.
I'm telling you, it's nice.
My mom used to take the milk out of the fridge and give it one little shake because she had powdered milk sometimes as a kid.
She didn't have a ton of money.
And we'd always laugh because she'd take it out.
But what?
That is.
I always shake the milk.
You guys don't shake the milk?
That's to break up clumps.
And it's like, yeah.
I think your milk just went bad.
No, no.
I never, dude, the way I was eating cereal, our milk didn't make it through the night.
Like, we were doing a gallon in high school.
In high school to gain weight because I was so thin and small.
I googled like, how can I gain weight?
What can I do?
And I'd lift every day and I'd drink a gallon of milk a day.
Go mad.
Wow.
Legit a gallon of milk a day, whole milk or 2% every day for like a year.
You do look like a milk drinker.
Son, he does.
He got cut.
That's crazy.
Yeah.
My dad got prescribed a milkshake a day from a doctor when he was a kid.
That's what medicine was back in the day.
People don't realize.
That's why you can't trust these vaccines.
What?
These doctors won't prescribe anything.
Jokes about vaccines.
Please don't clip us.
But yeah, that was the prescription.
He was a skinny ass kid.
They wanted him to put on weight.
And the doctor was like, a milkshake.
A milkshake a day.
I wish I had that problem.
You know what I wanted today?
The fucking shamrock joint.
Ooh, shamrock shake from McDonald's?
What's a shamrock shake?
The green one.
Oh, from McDonald's.
It's like a McFlurry or something like that.
But they only do it on St. Patty's.
And you're not going to do it.
I was hoping.
I'm not going to walk and get it myself.
Did you ever get, come on.
Why not?
Al?
No, I mean, I wanted it for the show, but I didn't want to go all the way up to Canada.
Oh, okay.
All right.
It's the only place I get other people to do stuff.
Bullshit.
Bullshit.
What were you saying, Miles?
What were you saying, Miles?
Bullshit.
Keep going.
Talk about it.
Bullshit.
I was just talking about, you were talking about things you can get at McDonald's that are seasonal.
Were you ever hyped about the McRib?
No, I never got that shit.
What?
I never understood it.
I don't even think I've eaten a McRib.
Dead ass.
You're a city boy, bro.
This is easy.
You grew up rich.
This is why I'm talking about rich beach communities.
Yeah, yeah.
You guys grew up with a beach community.
I did it.
I'm really in these streets.
And the reality of the matter is that McDonald's is a business that is made for profitability.
Yeah.
If that shit was supposed to be eaten or legal to eat all year round, they would keep it on the market.
They would keep it.
There's something about it that they can only feed it to us for like a month or whatever.
So that was always weird to me.
Like, the logic checks out.
Why would you, if everybody loves it, why would it stay on the menu?
Maybe it's just mad cheap.
Because then you wouldn't rush.
You wouldn't have the rush to go get it when it was.
They don't care about your rush.
Scarcity.
They don't care about your rush, Al.
They know that that shit is going to kill you.
What's crazy is that it's like shaped like ribs and it's not even ribs.
No bones in it.
You don't even know what that shit is.
We don't know.
And you ate it.
It was delicious.
Delicious.
Delicious.
It's on a fish filet.
I had cheese with the cheese.
Cheese and fish is another.
No, what do we think?
We didn't question anything.
This is me.
Ghetto.
I was a ghetto kid, guys.
You don't understand the level of ghetto I used to.
You know what we needed as kids?
We needed conspiracies, man.
We needed like conspiracy theorists as kids.
We didn't question enough.
We would eat a fish sandwich from McDonald's.
Yeah.
No question what the fuck that fish was.
McRib didn't have a single rib in it.
They only had it for a month out of the year.
We thought that's when ribs were made.
Like there was no way to like, we didn't.
Did you question a single thing as a kid?
So the beef from the quarter pounder and the regular burgers are just so different.
And I'm like, why is the beef taste different?
That's the little nuance right there.
You see, that was, I was a McDonald's.
It's condo.
Can you think of a single thing you questioned as a kid?
I'm a mixed somalier.
Did I say that right?
No, I tried.
You said somalier, right?
Oh, so then mixed somalier.
Yes, Fuck you.
All right.
Give me something on that.
Where's the comic in the corner?
I think McDonald's should give out a passport.
This is an idea I had.
They should give you a passport in America that when you go to McDonald's and other countries, you can get it stamped.
So you get like a McDonald's passport and then you go to like actually not a bad idea.
Warren Buffett's McDonald's Passport00:05:04
It's not a bad idea.
Y'all are fat.
We are.
It's a good idea.
It really ought.
Y'all are both.
You're both culturally and spiritually fat.
Neither of you are fat, but like spiritually fat.
But I'm like proud of it, though.
Yeah, hell yeah.
Yeah, like I've been through the trenches, bro.
This is finer things in life, like McDonald's in Sweden.
I still got both my feet right now.
I've made it out, baby.
I mean, Miles, you really want to travel the world eating McDonald's for I've never gone to a foreign country and knock onto the McDonald's in that foreign country.
Really?
You never like, you check out the menu, it's always different.
What about Saudi Arabia?
Went in the airport in Saudi Arabia.
Went in the airport or went in Dubai.
Went.
Oh, no, I did Saudi Arabia inside the place where it did in that little fairground.
So the comedy.
Oh, yeah.
I remember when he dipped off and went to the McDonald's and he wanted to see that shit.
It's a thing you got to do.
It's part of it.
Legendary.
I posted it.
You got to do it.
And what'd they have there?
Chicken.
A lot of chicken.
A lot of ticket, right?
Was it covered up?
Low-key, the way that they wrap the burgers is kind of like a burger.
Yeah, you know, yeah, they're, I mean, yeah, Mick Burka.
They could sell that.
It just has a little.
No, that'll be fine.
Oh, come on.
Hey, man, they're not all going to hit.
Yeah, don't let me bomb them.
There's only three of us in the room.
Bombing's a lot louder.
Yo, Bobin is a lot louder.
I mean, they're dealing with enough bombs over there.
We might as well ask you.
I've been open the straight.
I saw, you know, open the straight.
But the McDonald's free.
Let me oil out.
Come on.
Let me oil.
Okay.
All right.
There's a, I saw this shit.
This shit I thought was one of the most brilliant marketing ideas in history.
This is a real thing.
Okay.
This is a real thing.
Do you know what's March Madness?
Yeah.
Calci is doing a $1 billion perfect bracket challenge, meaning the winner, if they get a perfect bracket, it's a billion, gets $1 billion.
That's crazy.
The best bracket gets a million.
Let me tell you.
And then they took a million to charity or something like that.
Now, the chances of getting a perfect bracket are like next to zero.
You can look and see if anybody in history has ever done it, right?
Oh, really?
I thought like several people win every year.
No, not a perfect, the whole bracket perfect.
Oh, okay.
I don't think it's ever done.
Warren Buffett used to sort of offer this.
The closest known attempt was in 2019 when a bracket went 49 games without a mistake before breaking.
Wow.
It's harder than the lottery.
Now, this is why I think it's brilliant.
So nobody wonders, nobody is thinking like, I can do it.
But if you are going to fill out a bracket, if you're going to do one bracket, would you not do it in the place that you could win a billion dollars?
Oh, absolutely.
And also, I don't even do this bracket shit, but I'm going to try.
What's the buy-in for it?
I don't know.
We should look at that.
Figure out what the buying.
But like, it's like $5 million.
I wonder if that's just free, low-key.
Yeah, I would imagine it's free.
It might just be free.
Yeah.
So then, how the fuck are they going to pay out?
Well, they, well, this is how it works.
It's actually really interesting.
But I imagine just signing up is the thing that's valuable.
And then maybe when you sign up, trade on games, whatever.
But like, this is the genius.
So the way these things work, like when somebody does like a half-court shot in an NBA game, the team doesn't pay you if you win.
The team pays an insurance company a much smaller amount.
And the insurer covers the win if they hit it.
Oh, wow.
So with this, I don't know what the deal is, but I'm curious.
It's like nobody's ever done it in history.
So for the insurer, it's a pretty safe bet.
But how much do you have to pay to get a billion dollars of insurance?
Yeah.
Does Calci go, okay, here's 10 million?
Okay, how to claim your free Calci billion dollar bracket entry?
Wow.
You got to visit Calci, create a new account.
Anyway, so this is a perfect example, right?
Economy's fucking shit.
Everybody needs a dollar.
There's a free option to win $1 billion.
This is dangerous.
Listen, I'm saying it here right now.
Is it ready?
I'm going to be a couple of Nancy Kerrigans taking our knees, bro.
This is dangerous.
You know what I thought with this?
Is like, and I guess you can't do it because every account is verified.
Like Calci actually is different than the other ones where they take your fucking information and shit.
Like they take your social security or whatever.
But like my first thought before I realized that was with AI, why don't we use Claude or Chat GPT or whatever to create half a million accounts and just try every permutation you possibly could?
Oh, you fucking them over.
Well, no, but they make sure that they verify.
That's the shitty way that we can't, you know, rip them off.
I mean, we got the migrants.
Son, exactly.
We got them in the hotel.
You give each one an iPad and it's like, yo, all day.
Dangerous Pocket Hose Claims00:02:57
Yeah.
All day, you got to be signing up accounts.
It's one in 9.2 quintillion.
Quintillion, the chances.
But again, it doesn't matter.
I'm saying this here right now.
I think this year somebody does it.
I don't know if they're going to do it through them and they're going to wish they did.
But I, for some reason, feel this year is the year somebody gets it.
And then that's a bit like that's crazy.
Yeah.
I got it.
I'm doing it.
Look, don't you feel like I feel like I'm going to do it?
I'm lucky.
I'd be getting mad lucky.
One in 9.2 quintillion.
I'm getting lucky.
I got this.
And I think you got to go about it not looking at the seeds, really.
I'll hit you off with a mill.
How much would you give me if you won a billion dollars?
A mill.
What?
Just one?
You got a billion.
All right, the government is going to take half.
So now you have 500.
$500,000, though.
Yo, Al's mama going to be living in the same house she did before that billion.
Let me tell you that.
Nobody gets a new house.
I'm going to pay it off.
You're in a beach community, mom.
Don't you love living by the ocean?
The salt air hitting your nostrils.
All right, guys.
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Blue Chew Stock Resentment00:10:11
Now let's get back to the show.
All right, guys, let's take a break for a second.
You see the light change.
You already know what time it is.
Okay.
Blue Chew has upgraded.
Blue Chew Gold is ready in 15 minutes.
I can tell you other stuff that really doesn't matter.
Yeah, it's a four-in-one formula.
It's got some oxytocin and apomorphine.
It's got all these other things.
You don't care about that.
Your dick is going to be rock hard in 15 minutes.
That's what you care about.
Okay.
Now you don't have to pop it hoping maybe it will go pretty well on the way home in the Uber.
No, you get home.
You know it's about to get popping.
Gulf Gulf.
Then you go do what you got to do.
Are you an eater?
Are you a storyteller?
Do you want to throw the game on for a little bit?
It's really up to you, but you know, it's 15 minutes.
That's all.
That's easy.
That's five songs.
You just get through five songs.
I put on Hamilton.
Dun, dun, If I hear the rap battle, it's time to go.
Yeah.
Okay.
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So let's get back to the show.
Yo, we were talking about this.
Actually, we didn't talk about it on Brilliant, but some people are thinking about moving out of America.
Yes.
What do you think about that?
I'm looking at Spain.
Is this a different reaction than remember when like Rosie O'Donnell and like who is the other lesbian?
Alan, like they're like, I'm leaving the country.
And then I think they ended up coming back.
Or do you think this is fundamentally different?
Like people reacting to what is happening and them not feeling comfortable.
Yeah, I think the latter.
Because it's like you're just looking at the direction things are going in.
And it's like, and he's getting more and more brazen with the stuff that he's doing.
Like it's, it's low-key scaring me.
And I think the economy is going to collapse because right now we don't want to get political, but whatever.
Like the way we went after Venezuela, China can go after Taiwan and we can't say shit.
And if that happens and NVIDIA stock gets affected, our whole stock market collapses.
That's the thing I don't understand about Taiwan.
And I understand that these systems are complex.
And like Taiwan doesn't just, we had, what's his face on here on this pod?
Oh man, what was his name?
Geopolitical expert, Indian guy.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And he was saying how like, he was saying like these chip processing places, like they rely on 15 different countries to even execute the chip.
Like this country doing this thing and this country's doing that thing.
So it's not just them.
But it is shocking to me that chip processing that our entire stock market is kind of relying on the same way that the, you know, during like the dot-com era, the stock market was like really heavily dependent on these, these dot-com stocks, these tech stocks.
It is crazy to me that like we would allow it to exist in this foreign country that could be invaded at any point of time.
And we wouldn't try to shift that over here.
And maybe that's what they're trying to do now, but like difficult.
It just must pick up the machine and bring it over here.
It must be that difficult.
And imagine if you have something and you're the only place in the world that can do that shit, you're not giving that up to nobody.
You might give it up to the people that are making sure that you're not Chinese.
You know what I mean?
True.
Yeah.
But so you're really concerned about like economic downturn.
Now, the question would be, where would you go?
Because I imagine these other places aren't like impervious to the negative effects of a global economic collapse.
Yeah, but there's a lot of places in Europe that like they kind of don't get involved with this shit.
Like Spain is one of these places like, yo, do your thing.
We're not involved.
Like leave us alone.
And they're not like, of course, everybody's going to be affected, but I think the Euro will hold up a little bit more than the dollar will.
I don't know.
Again, I don't know enough, but like, if the American economy takes a massive, massive hit, we're the biggest consumers in the world, bro.
The whole world does not want that to happen.
That's true.
So it's like, well, what the fuck?
Like, if every other country that's making shit all of a sudden doesn't have their biggest buyer, what is that?
What happens to their economies?
I'd rather be in a place where people are used to getting by with less.
Well, that's a decision that you can make for sure, which is like your lifestyle.
It's going to get a little crazy.
You think it's going to get a little crazy?
I think it's really.
And would there be a place here that you would consider going?
And it doesn't have to be like some bougie-ass place, but just like a community that you're like, you know what?
This is kind of insulated.
I like the lifestyle here.
I like how people live.
And I don't think it will be as reliant on tech stocks that are all.
I don't know of any.
Like, can you think of any?
Yeah.
Where?
I mean, you know, you could probably go upstate.
You know what I mean?
Yeah, I guess.
I mean, there's probably tons of places that you could go to where, you know, these are just like nice insulated communities.
Matter of fact, why would you still cold upstate?
It's still like, oh, you want some good weather.
Yeah, like, if I'm going to pick some place just looking for an excuse to leave America and you're trying to blame it on the economy.
It's looking a little, it's not looking good.
Yeah.
Well, what it would.
But it's not like I'm trying to.
I'm just, I want the option.
If shit goes down, I want to be able to.
What does shit go down look like to you?
I don't know.
I honestly did stock market collapsing and then people being hungry and then fighting crime.
Oh, you're worried about like violent uprisings.
Yes.
Yeah.
Whoa.
Yeah.
That makes things very easy.
It's already pretty tight and no one's doing anything to make things better.
Bro, it's yeah, it is, it is a concern.
I never, yeah, I didn't think about like violent uprisings because of like economic downturn.
I thought about violent uprisings because of like systemic issues and like fighting for people's rights and fighting for their livelihood.
Like that's something that I think that we've seen in our lifetime.
But simply from the point of like, we need food and we're going to go attack something.
Because it's like that's a motherfuckers are getting fired with AI and it's going to keep happening.
So that's faster and faster.
Okay.
So that's the thing, right?
Like the existential crisis of AI.
Everybody is concerned about that.
Like there's these conversations about entry-level jobs.
I'm sure you've heard of.
Yeah, but now it's even white collar jobs.
Of course, of course.
But like, I think what, at least from what I've read, complete casual to this, but like they're saying that it could wipe out 30 to 40% of entry-level jobs, meaning like the assistant work or like, you know, a junior editor, for example, instead of, you know, organizing files and setting up these different editing documents, you can have your, I guess, Claude potentially organize it for you, et cetera.
So that would limit 100%.
And then Anthropic released something the other day that says like, oh, coding jobs, doctors, law assistants or whatever.
Like jobs you have to get go to college for.
Yeah.
So here's my question.
Here's my question about that.
This is not the first time that there's been like transformative technological advancements.
There's no question that there's going to be a period where like people are going to lose jobs.
But hasn't history shown us that like other jobs will sprout up around the technological advancement?
So I like computers come around and they wipe out whatever the fuck they wipe out.
But now you have all these computer technician jobs.
You have people that are creating new types of computers.
You have competitive coding companies that are like trying to develop more sophisticated programs.
Does that also continue?
And do the jobs just shift in that direction?
Potentially, but I think it's going to happen to too many people too quickly.
And there's not going to be enough of the new jobs available for all the people out of work.
Right.
And that also could be the case.
I just can't see a world where we create enough new jobs for everybody to pivot to.
Right.
And when that happens, our country already fights over how much taxes we pay and handouts this and that and socialism.
Like, I don't think we're coming to the help of people.
Well, I mean, that's going to be the circumstance where it's just like people are going to need money to survive and the economy is going to need liquidity to survive.
And by liquidity, I mean like people are going to need to buy things.
Yeah, you can pump some money into the economy for a while.
So does it end up being like that universal basic income situation where it actually they're not doing it because they're like, oh, we're worried that you're hungry.
They're doing it because they're like, Apple still needs to sell phones.
Right.
And we still need to make sure that there's money being exchanged in this economy.
But think about the resentment that's going to build between people who work and people who get the free money.
Well, what's the resentment?
We already have the resentment right now for people on fucking welfare.
Yeah, but I feel like go go, Miles.
The U of UBI would be universal.
Everyone gets paid.
Yeah, but it's still like the people at home not working versus the people who work, even if you get the extra money, there's still going to be some resentment.
It's like the lifestyle at home is not going to be the lifestyle of the person who has the same thing that's happening right now to people on food stamps and people still complain about those people.
Yeah, but that's whack, bro.
Like, I don't think like really wealthy people are worried about people on food stamps or thinking about them.
Do you listen to politics?
They complain about them all the time.
People leeching off the government.
Yeah, but I don't think two or three kids are staying at home.
I don't think those are the wealthy people.
I think those are politicians that are representing people who are disenfranchised.
So I think they're representing voices that are like far more impoverished than like the billionaires.
The billionaires aren't even thinking about that.
They're like, it's not my money that goes to the food stamps.
I'm hiding my business.
I'm talking about the infighting amongst the lower middle class.
That's where the fights are going to happen.
Catastrophic Global Economy Thinking00:04:03
Listen, I've read stuff about it and all this stuff seems like a potential plausible outcome.
But I'm also in this place right now where I'm, I think right now, because things are so bad that many people have a very negative outlook on America.
So what trends and what gets views is America bad.
I.e., if you look at like any, this is a bad example, but like when the war first started with Iran, the videos that were getting all the views were America's going to lose.
And I think that that not only is that interesting because you're probably like, oh, shit, I thought we had the strongest army.
How the fuck are we going to lose?
I think there's maybe also a part of it, which is like, well, fuck, what the fuck is America doing?
I don't know if it feels deserved, but like there is that like, it's not a nihilistic standpoint, but there is this viewpoint that's just like, there's, it's, it's negative and we are trying to find a way to frame it where it's like, it's not like we want America to do bad, but because things don't look good, we're looking to confirm that feeling we have.
Does that kind of make sense?
Yeah.
So I'm a, sometimes I at least try to treat the existential crisis content with a little bit of skepticism where I'm like, is this real or is creating a piece, a YouTube video about how AI is going to destroy all the jobs just the thing that gets the most views?
Gotcha.
You know what I mean?
I feel like I approach it that same way.
I just would like, just in case it is, to have an outcome.
I'm going to be prepared.
I think that's smart.
You want your bunker.
Whatever your version of the bunker.
Exactly.
Yeah, yeah.
And then when you see.
Got my concealed carry license.
I don't know what the fuck is going to go down.
Yeah, that's the other thing.
It's like when you see the rich people building bunkers, like we allow it to be suspicious, too.
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
I get it.
So, but you do get where I'm coming from, where it's like, if the, if, if the content is satisfying the feeling, and I think that's kind of like how the internet works.
It's like, however people feel, the content, like content is oftentimes audience capture.
So it's like when Timmy Chalamay is the coolest guy on the planet, all the videos were, look how cool Timmy Chalamay is.
Look how amazing his outfits are.
Look how awesome his movies are.
Look how dedicated he is to his craft.
Then when it's, oh, Timmy Chalamay sucks and he shouldn't have done that.
Now you see all the same creators doing content about how he sucks.
So in a lot of ways, I think that like the content creation is a reflection of what people feel, not the other way.
Whereas back in the day, before you knew what views were, like when you were just making newspapers or magazines, you didn't know how many people really read it.
Like, yeah, you knew who bought it, et cetera, but you didn't know what was resonating, what articles, et cetera.
They kind of dictated information and then people reacted to information.
So they could kind of dictate the feeling of the public.
You know, like, yeah, but then isn't that, so isn't the content now more reflective of how the people are feeling?
Well, yes, 100%.
100%.
And before you could propagandize way better, right?
It's like, hey, we got to, hey, we got to go to war.
Okay.
All the media companies, let's get on the same page about why this is important.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
What I'm just saying is that I think human beings in general have a more like catastrophic thinking when it comes to the world now.
Look, it's more rare for us to be like hopeful and optimistic.
And I think that's why when specific figures like in Obama and these like, or like even Mamadani, these like incredibly charismatic, optimistic people come on, it's, it's, you see religious figures also do this, right?
Where it's just like, it, I mean, you see a lot of like, I don't know how you feel about them, but like the wealth preachers, like you're going to be rich, you know, type of, and it's like, it's intoxicating in a lot of ways because it's a break from the catastrophic thinking that is probably more ingrained into our like primal nature.
Switching to AI Cameras00:11:18
Yeah.
You know, like we're always worried about how things are going to go bad because that's how you stay alive.
So I try to like, when I see trends on the internet, I try to go, okay, is this real?
Or are these people just creating what is going to feed off the fear and insecurities of the audience?
Gotcha.
And you're not worried at all?
No, no, I, of course, I have those worries, but I try to like talk back the worries.
So I'm not just reading things that confirm my concerns.
I'm not as catastrophic as like maybe some, you know, where it's just like, yeah, I, you know, I think like the global economy is so intertwined that like I think right now, like even when these billionaires are building bunkers and the people that are working at the tech places that are creating this fucking AI are trying to warn you, like, yo, guys, this is going to like collapse.
Like, that shit doesn't.
That shit is scary.
Yeah.
That shit is scary.
And then I'll like ask ChatGPT an easy question and it will get it wrong.
And I'll be like, nah, we got a few years.
So it's like, is it going to take over the world or does it not know, you know, the difference between red and green?
Or whatever.
Like, it's, it's tricky.
I just, I don't think that I haven't witnessed it.
And again, like, we live in a weird space where we're, I'm sure we could use AI and I'm sure there are things that we do with AI in our business, but it's probably not as prevalent if you're in a fucking law firm or you work at like a CPA agency where you're doing taxes.
You're probably like, oh, shit.
You're using Claude to do your job and you're like, eventually we're not going to need a me.
I said this on Al's show.
We were on Sunday.
I said, I think a lot of middlemen are like, I don't want to call them middlemen, but like that job that is between an individual and a like industry are a lot of the people that are like, oh, those two might get a lot closer.
Can I, can I give an example of that?
Real estate agents.
That was a job that, and it sucks because one of my guys is a real estate agent, but that's like been a job that I'm like, when are they going to?
So like, there's value for the real estate agents, I think, in terms of like knowledge and awareness of an area when you're buying a place.
Like them being able to go, look, like, I know the history of this building, you know, the building's in debt.
So if you buy in here, you're going to take on that debt.
Like all these like little things that like you and I probably wouldn't even think of when buying a place.
Also, knowing little obscure shit, like, oh, there's a subway project coming into this area.
So now this street is actually going to be super valuable.
Like these other little intangibles.
If you're just renting an apartment in a city that you only plan to live for like a few years, like how is Zillow not worked it out where you just apply like you do for um a restaurant reservation?
Yeah, it's crazy.
Like, you, you, what are we doing here?
Like, like Tesla doesn't have any dealerships.
You order your car through an app and it shows up at your house.
Get the fuck out of it.
Like, there's not no dealership.
Remember when banks did that?
Remember when it was like Charles Schwab or something?
It was like, they were like, yo, no ATM fees.
And we're like, what's the catch?
And they're like, we don't got a bank.
Yeah.
And then we're like, so I can use any ATM?
They're like, yeah, you're like, all right, take my money.
I don't want to go to my bank.
I want to go to the fucking ATC machine in Times Square to charge me $12 to take out money.
So yeah, I think that they're okay.
Maybe the specific jobs where they are middlemen and you could see technology even without AI closing the gap.
Like, it is crazy.
You should be able to get an apartment by just reaching out directly to the person.
Yeah.
Right?
Like, but hey, that's a job.
That's somebody's livelihood.
No, no, I don't want them to lose that.
And I think when it comes to buying a property, it's this massive investment.
It's like everything you've ever earned.
I don't know if you would want to leave that up to a computer.
But like when you get an Airbnb, this is why I think it's kind of obscure.
When you get an Airbnb, is there a real estate agent involved?
No, just the company itself.
Right.
So it's like you give your information.
They do.
Granted, it's for a short amount of time.
So it's not that big a deal.
But like, how is renting your apartment month to month different than an Airbnb?
Like, it's not fundamentally that different.
Yeah.
Right?
No.
You're not wrong.
But that just scares me.
It scares me for like, luckily, I think I'm safe, but I said this on the show also.
Thank you for coming through to the show.
Of course, Miles is really opinionated, bro.
Oh, I love this guy.
I love Miles.
That is not true.
I pulled the market agon and just sat on that.
Nah, nah, nah, bro.
But it's like my business, for example, I've already pointed out ways that I can use AI to save money and like skim down on jobs.
What's an example?
Not saying you would do it, but what's an example?
Like, there's a lot of these AI things to cut clips where I don't need to have a team of people that cut clips for people.
I can save, I can right now save a bunch of money and I'm choosing not to because the business is still doing well and I don't want to fire people.
But if it comes to it where the business starts to suffer, I have to find ways.
Yeah.
And like that is the same thing that probably every business owner is thinking about right now.
Yeah, that's a tricky thing where it's like.
And I don't, I don't have like, what's it called?
Like investors that I'm like, I'm not on the stock market.
So I don't have to like.
You don't have to answer to those investors, but if you did, you got to show returns.
And yeah, yeah.
That is the, yeah, like the ideal scenario, right?
Is like every one of us could use AI to make our jobs easier and better.
And everyone still has their job.
Yeah.
Right?
Like the ideal scenario is like, Miles, you get to use AI to help you with your processes for production, editing, et cetera.
And it cuts your work down, but you still make the money you make and you get to enjoy more of your life and you can do other things with your time.
Like that is just, that's the ideal scenario.
But it, but as we know, we live in a fucking system that is going to be built around profit.
Not everybody is going to have a kind of communal office vibe that we have where hypothetically.
And sorry, Miles, you're the example on this.
What if he saw Miles posting every day like on a beach drinking a margarita and all the work is getting done?
Somehow he found AI automation doing everything.
You'd be perfectly fine.
Totally fucked up.
That he's not here and he's chilling.
The second he fucks up.
Oh, that is.
I'm going through his whole Instagram feed with him.
Second he bugs I'm going through.
I'm like, why did this happen right here?
Like, why are we on the beach here?
Yeah, yeah.
You know?
So yes, that would happen.
I'm aware of that already.
No, but I'm already aware.
No, but like for me, if the business is profitable and everybody's eating and there's a fine, if there's a technological advantage that we can use, here's a perfect example.
It's not fucking AI, but when we first started a podcast, right?
We would have to process three cameras of audio back in the day, or video back in the day, right?
And it was like, then you'd have to sync up the cameras, sync it up to the audio, and then edit angles from all three cameras.
And then I bought this thing called a switcher.
Yeah.
You remember when we bumped into each other at B ⁇ H?
Yes.
We were both picking by the switch.
I'm like, how can I make this job easier?
So it's like, how can we streamline this shit?
I'm like, oh, fuck.
Boom.
So it's like, there's, I was like, I was like, because basically what I asked is like, how do they do it on the news?
Like, the news isn't pre-recorded.
So like, there has to be a way.
And somebody explained to me that there's this thing called a switcher, which allows you to record all the cameras, but what's recorded is only the camera that is like focused.
They're chosen at the time.
And I was like, holy shit.
So you're saying like by the end of the episode, we have a fully edited episode.
Now, things have changed now.
We have to make some changes or edits or insert ads or blah, blah, blah.
But there was a time where it was just we were rifling off the ads during it.
And I was like, okay, wow, this is a piece of technology, this piece of technology that makes Alex's life way easier.
Now, I'm sure my brain immediately went like, okay, now that you have all that extra time, can we cut some clips from the pod?
I didn't stop thinking about other things we could do.
But it wasn't like, okay, now that your life is easier, can we pay you half as much as you used to?
Like my feeling was like, yo, if we're going to be here for eight hours and we could turn this work into two hours, what can we do with the other six hours?
Can we film a sketch?
You know what I mean?
Can we have a cool brainstorm session?
Like what game could we add to the pod that would make it better?
That's kind of what I, my thing.
But again, I don't run like a factory that makes zippers.
Yeah.
So you run a factory that makes zippers.
You're not trying to do creative shit.
Yeah.
So it's interesting, guys.
It's going to be some fun times ahead.
It's very funny.
We've switched this like now inside baseball shit, but we used to use a switcher that I was live switching at all times.
We don't do that anymore.
I just rewatched the episode.
So it back down.
And this is interesting.
It's because you can, sometimes with the switcher, you'll be on a single on out and then Mark will say the most hilarious bit.
And you miss it.
And then we miss it.
And it's like our logic is essentially like the audience is going to miss a really fun moment.
Yeah.
So Miles takes way more time to now, you know, figure that out.
There are other versions that you could do that might be less time.
But it's gotten faster.
It's gotten better.
And like, it's really good now that we don't miss that shit.
I think I like when I watch it, I'm like, ooh, these choices are really good.
Because when you're switching in real time, it's hard.
You don't know who's going to talk.
You miss every joke.
You miss every joke because a lot of times like the joke that's funny is you say something and then someone has a quick, witty response or you have a quick witty response to somebody else.
So I do the switcher in Brilliant and it almost feels like an instrument, like a music instrument.
And it's like, it's my fingers are kind of like just attached to the Even talking, and then I'm even thinking about getting the reaction of the laugh, yeah.
And like, I cut to that, and it's like it's not, I'm not thinking, I'm not trying, it's just like I'm talking and engaging in the conversation, and my fingers are just doing stuff, yeah, yeah.
But that's just something that just not that's another thing.
It's like it needs to become so, what is the term, like rote?
Because if you're thinking about switching, yeah, you can't and you're contributing, yeah, yeah, you're cooked, yeah, yeah, trust me, guys.
I know, yeah, imagine and processing audio and pulling stuff up on screen, not possible.
Yeah, it was difficult time.
Can you tell me what the white lotus season for cast and location revealed is?
Oh, I just really forgot that the location is the French Rivera.
Oh, I knew that was gonna happen.
I love that.
White Lotus Reality TV Drama00:15:04
There's some huge names in it.
Give me Helena Bonham Carter.
Who's that?
That is uh uh Bella Trix Lestrange.
I love her.
Yeah, yeah.
She's a Bella Tricks Lestrange from Harry Potter.
Oh, Bella Trix.
Okay, okay, okay.
All right, she's great.
Who's a wife?
Uh, she's married to uh Nightmare on El Nightmare on Elm Street, uh, Tim Burton.
Isn't she married to Tim Burton?
She's married to Freddy Krueger.
No, no, didn't he do some fucking Halloween movie?
He did, he's Christmas.
Nightmare, he technically didn't direct it, but yes, you're right.
It's Nightmare for Christmas.
Okay, he just wasn't directing.
Kumael is on there.
Can we see pictures?
Because I don't know what these niggas' names.
They apparently broke up.
Yeah, Kumail's on it.
Kumail, the Indian guy who was in the Marvel movie.
I think he's Pakistani.
Pakistani, my fault.
I'll scrub that, clean it up.
Oh, you're going, you're going.
I would never.
Max Greenfield is from New Girl.
New Girl.
He's funny that guy.
He's so good.
Yeah, he's funny.
Who else we got?
Sandra Bernhard.
Who's that?
Oh, she's an OG.
OG.
Yeah.
She's an OG.
You recognize her.
That one.
Oh, okay.
All right.
So she's going to be the pill popper.
You kind of got it.
100%.
100%.
Who is the holdover?
Because don't they bring one person from each?
Yeah, let me find that out.
Oh, yeah.
Everybody died at the end, right?
No, they had the didn't the black chick whose son came didn't she live?
Oh, the yeah.
Yes, because she wasn't at that scene where everybody got shot up.
And didn't she make money off it too?
Like, oh, that was what happened.
She was supposed to start a thing with the Asian dude she was fucking, and then she got paid and she was like, I gotta go.
Like, that's the beauty of that show.
It just shows you everybody's a piece of shit.
Yeah.
Like, it's real.
It is crazy, though.
Like, I want to talk to the creator, Mike White, I think, is his name.
Yeah, Mike White.
I want to talk to him because, like, as beautiful as the creation is, like, is the cost of that having like a cynical outlook on humanity?
You got to get him.
He would be so fun on this pod.
He would be.
He's awesome.
He's also like obsessed with Survivor randomly.
Like, he's on it, and I think he's on the 50th season.
Yeah, yeah.
Wait, he's a cast member?
He was a cast member once.
Oh, wow.
Like, because he loves the show.
He's obsessed.
You know what I mean?
He was already like for DC TV.
Yeah, yeah.
I think he was already in the industry, right?
Like, he was on the Celebrity Survivor.
He wrote the Jack Black movie School of Rock.
Oh, wow.
Okay.
Okay.
But yeah, again, so it's like, is this just a thing that he's good at?
Or is this kind of his outlook on humanity a bit where he's able to access the kind of the most selfish parts of our being?
And like, what's the cost of that?
It's like, you know how like cops always deal with people lying to them all day?
Yeah.
So, you know, there's like a little distance sometimes when you're talking to one, even off, you know, off hours.
Like if he's not working, it's still everybody's trying you.
So I think I imagine you start to see people as little bit pieces of shit.
Yeah.
Did you feel that way a little bit?
A little bit.
The older I get, I feel more that way.
Yeah, it sucks.
Yeah.
Can we try to like galvanize the audience to tag somebody like that and get them on the show?
Yeah, we need to.
I've seen shows do that and that shit works.
We got to do that.
We need everybody telling Mike White we need we need everybody.
Please tag Mike White.
I know it's kind of corny.
I feel even kind of corny saying that shit, but I don't feel corny.
We would love to get him on the show.
He would just be a cool person to talk to.
Like what is and how does he observe these groups?
Like the way he did those group of girls.
Yeah.
There was those three girls on last season.
And nailed it.
And like, he nailed it to the point.
White girls.
Yo, he nailed it to the point that my wife would be watching it.
And like it was a, it was a combination of laughter and also cringe in that she goes, oh my God, I have friends that do that.
Same shit.
Like, oh, this is how girls are.
You got to be.
I heard that from every girl.
It's like either they were one of them or they know most of them said thank you.
Yeah, my friend is like what I was.
You wanted them to.
I think having an obsession over reality TV makes you addicted to like reality TV only gets people who are like the most boisterous in their own the worst parts of humanity.
Yeah.
And he's obsessed with it.
He was on Amazing Race.
Obviously, if he's in those shows, he's watching them all.
And he's a great fan of reality TV.
And reality TV is almost White Lotus, dramatized and like those characters.
That's a great observation, Miles.
Yeah.
It's like reality TV specifically has gotten so good at casting the reality star and there are like qualities to it, right?
It's like extreme emotional reactivity, manipulative, and a lack of self-awareness.
So where like you can behave in a way that most of us would feel like was reprehensible without even really realizing it.
Like you kind of feel pseudo-justified in whatever you do.
At least in the moment, you can't acknowledge it.
And yeah, that's every character on that show.
They feel completely justified in their bullshit.
It's funny.
Before we started recording, Shifty was explaining these Mormon bitches.
Oh, tell me, tell me, tell me.
I don't know if I can break it down, but it sounded like an episode of White Lotus, the way he was breaking this shit down.
He's like, this fucking Mormon bitch is fucking this guy.
Then she went on a bachelor and then she was like pregnant.
And then immediately off the bachelor went back to the guy she was fucking.
That guy is fucking all her friends and some old lady or some shit like that.
Like he was just, it seems like a dope show.
And I don't even watch reality TV, but I'll give it a watch.
Son, it is.
It sounds like an episode of White Lotus.
It is like?
So my wife was.
I hate when guys do what I just did.
So yes.
She was.
I hate.
Because like, look, nobody does this with Game of Thrones.
Nobody does it.
Like, it don't matter if your wife puts it on.
If you watch it, you say you watch it.
But when it comes with fucking heated rivalry or the Mormon wives or any of these like housewife shows, it's always, yeah, my girl was watching it and then I took part.
Whatever.
Heated rivalry.
I hope it's always the girls.
Yeah, it is.
Yeah.
Anyway, so I actually told my wife about this one.
She was on her housewife shit.
And I was like, how are you not?
Son, I'm plugged into the internet.
What's so with you?
I'm plugged into the internet, bro.
Who are you?
I'm Andrew Cameron Schultz, son of Larry Schultz.
Larry Larry would be upset.
He'd be upset.
He might, son.
He might, son.
Oh, God.
But yeah, so how do you put your wife off to reality?
Yo, look, It's, son, it's I got painted nails and I'll be shaved to you, bro.
Son, it's insanity because I had to like broach it.
Like, she kept watching like Wheel Housewives or Potomac or some shit.
And I'm like, I'm like, oh, because I knew she wasn't watching it.
I was like, what's happening in that Mormon wives show?
And she's like, oh, I haven't watched that one yet.
And I was like, oh, word, like, it's crazy.
Like, like, I'm trying.
And she's like, yeah, I'm just not into it.
And I'm like, it's so crazy.
Like, why are you trying to get an audit?
Because I wanted to watch it, but I'm not trying to sit there, abandon my family, my two children, my wife, watching some bitch whose pee tastes like fruity packs.
You heard all the bitches was hot on this shit.
He's like, yo, you know who?
I want to give this one a watch.
They got some lookers.
We're not going to lie.
Son, Shifty said, it's a bunch of baddies on that.
They got some.
Now you know why that lake is salty.
You know what I mean?
It's some lookers on the show.
They're all crazy.
They're crazy.
They're crazy.
So what is it about Mormonism?
Drives you crazy because they're too like, you got to be a certain way.
And then they just blow up and become.
These girls are all kind of Mormon culturally, too.
Yeah.
Some are like Mormon about it.
And then some are like culturally Mormon in the way that they're like religious Jews and cultural Jews.
Yeah.
Okay.
It's not like Christians and like everybody in America is kind of culturally Christian.
Like we celebrate Christmas and that kind of shit.
This is a little different.
Like their community is a little different.
Like they might not go about all the things, but they're not drinking.
You know what I mean?
They might not go to church, but it's just like.
But I heard these girls is like.
They're not rejecting it.
They're not.
Not all of them are rejecting it.
Oh, really?
Yeah, there's some baby mamas on there, but they're not all.
What I think is like, you know how there was like the church girl who was like the slut?
Yeah, you're thinking that they're having their own springer.
Yeah.
But then it's like, because they had to be repressed for so long, they became ultra sluts.
This show to me isn't about sluttiness.
It's about sleeping around.
It's peeing on mouse and shit.
They're like married girls on it.
It's a lack of...
R. Kelly without the kids.
No, no, no, no, no.
I'm telling you, brother.
It's a lack of shame.
There is no, there's a term in Spanish.
I mean, we have it too, but it's like sinber guenza, like no embarrassments.
Like my, my buddy would call me.
Why are you going to do that to me?
Can I be the Puerto Rican nigga?
Nah.
Why you got to out Spanish me?
I ain't even.
Oh, you acknowledge that Spanish is white?
No.
You just out Spanish.
You culturally appropriate.
But my true fucking culture boats are right here.
You can't trust these guys.
My boy would always call me Sin Ber or Sinberguenza when I was living in Spain and he was a homie out there.
And it was just because I was like, I would just do crazy.
I was like, I wouldn't care.
Like, I just wouldn't care.
And still.
Still, it's still kind of there.
These women are without shame or without embarrassment to an extreme.
Like the girl got her pussy surgeried up and like just showed the other girls and like the camera crew and the lights and the audio team is there, but like they had to blur her pussy.
But I thought Mormonism is super buttoned up, super image, super perfect.
This is the thing that people get wrong.
They're incredibly sexual just with the person you're married to.
Once you're married, it is divine to be.
Can they do an OnlyFans with their husband?
I think that would be sharing it with other people.
Yeah, okay.
But being into your husband and having crazy sex, but then some of them aren't talking about the slutty shit they're doing with their husband.
That's fine because it's not slutty.
It's sex with the man that you're you love.
I mean, we're all talking about the sex with the man that you love.
They're way open, like too open.
But then they can't show it publicly.
No, they won't show it.
But she's showing a pussy lips on it.
$80,000.
Yeah, put the pussy on the guy.
Nah, dude.
It is.
So it is like they are just wildly open, catty.
None of them really seem like friends, but like they're connected through this TikTok.
It's crazy.
Is it worth like, I don't do reality TV, but is this one worth it?
It's not.
You just watch the clips.
You don't got to get into the stories.
Just watch the clips.
Watch the clips.
Okay.
The clips are worded.
People, send me the good clips because I don't even know where to start.
I just know that was fruity pebble.
They throwing accusations on people, dude.
Like a guy's a yo, I hit, and the girl confronts him, like, you didn't hit.
And then, like, we never find out.
And then, like, shifty said some girl wrapped the wire around her dude's neck.
They had to like cancel the season.
They got one shorty.
Like today.
Yeah, I think it was.
Yeah, this girl.
Shout out to, I think her manager is a fan of the show.
Shout out to you.
Fuck.
My bad.
Yo, we want her on.
Bring that little felon on here.
She's treated like an insane asylum.
Kick your shoelaces away.
Shorty is bat shit.
Shorty is bat shit crazy.
So Miles is into the choking shit.
He'll like it.
also you know what's funny is we're talking about he didn't say no he didn't say no when you said she choked him with a phone wire I was like I went old school like telephone.
That's what I thought.
That's what I thought.
What's the phone wire?
Charger.
Hilarious.
I bet it's a charger.
Yeah, my brain.
I'm not fucking housephones anymore.
And she did that to someone on The Bachelor?
No, to her dude.
Yeah, to her dude.
But isn't she on The Bachelor?
Isn't she the new Bachelorette?
I know nothing about this.
I just was making a point.
Shifty guy breaking it down.
I'm telling you, he was breaking it down.
This shit.
Shifty.
Shifty's been gun shy on the camera and the talking.
Telling him.
You making everybody in this office.
Why is it me?
You.
What I do.
You step here, you talk shit, and then they never want to get back in front of the camera anyway.
Damn, bro.
I got to get better at that.
Yeah, you do, actually.
What did I?
I'm just asking about this shot.
He looks like there's some great people here in the studio, and they camera shy because of you.
I don't know if they're camera shy because of me.
There might be other reasons.
Nah, you.
You.
Might be wars happening in the world.
No politics.
No politic.
Okay.
What is that?
No politics.
Secret Lies of Mormon wise pauses season five filming due to domestic violence investigation into Taylor Frankie Paul and Dakota Mortenson.
Damn.
Crazy.
Crazy.
Sucks, bro.
Hey, man.
We want you on the file.
Free Dakota.
Stay up.
Yeah, free y'all.
Free Dakota, but we'll take the other bitch.
No, no, Dakota's the guy.
Yeah, he got his neck rang up.
He's free.
The girl is locked up.
Al, you know how chill works?
I'm just saying.
Whatever a guy has to go through that, I've dated a couple Latinas.
Charlamagne calls Al a bailiff, and that shit kills me.
Why the ass bailiff's ass motherfucker's Phoenix?
Look at your cute little bailiff over there.
Weren't you a bailiff?
I was a court officer.
We went through the same bailiff.
The same guy in the corner.
Same procedure that every police officer has to go through.
Yo, but you were the bailiff about it.
I was a court officer.
Grippy Morocco Dating Chaos00:10:14
What's new?
Shout out to my court officers.
We got some breaking news, too.
What do we got?
Breaking news.
Morocco has been announced as AFCON winners with the final result.
Overturned by CIF.
What does that mean?
Senegal.
Why are we happy?
What is this?
Because Doves Moroccan.
Oh, no.
Go back.
Go back.
That's right.
There is this.
Wait, what happened?
I remember this story.
So the Moroccan players were trying to take the towel from the goalies.
There was like some controversy on air.
They leave.
Senegal leaves.
They're like, no, fuck this.
We're not doing this.
They leave for 18 minutes and then they resume the game.
So I assume that this panel saw that as forfeiting the match and gave it to Morocco.
So they got rewarded for their fans trying to rip the towels off the goalies.
Yeah, they got rewarded because Senegal left the game in protest for an extended period during the game.
But then when they come back, does Senegal win?
Yes.
You don't want that win.
Wasn't there something else?
That's a shitty win.
There was something else obscure about the.
Can we bring Dub in about this?
He'll like this.
He don't know what's going on here.
He knows everything.
Is he Moroccan Jews or just Moroccans?
Just Moroccans.
Oh, never mind.
Also, I do want to bring up that every time you guys give me some shine on the pod, which I really do appreciate.
We end up talking about McDonald's.
And I don't want that to be my legacy.
You jumped in on the McDonald's.
Nobody said, hey, McDonald's.
Hey, Miles, how do you think about it?
We were talking about cereal.
You just light up.
You get me all hyped up.
You're like a kid on Christmas Day.
Yeah, you get me all hyped up.
It's like McRib season.
Look, we don't care.
Can we just be honest?
We was trying to care.
Here we were trying to care about the Moroccan African Cup.
We don't give a fuck.
We don't care about the African Cup.
Nope.
That's not what we care about.
Nope.
African Cup.
They're going to put that cup in their bottom lip.
You know what I mean?
You know?
I know that's not Morocco.
I know that's not Morocco.
That's a different place.
But you know what I'm talking about.
We're just out here riffing.
Yeah.
We're just out here riffing.
It's like, I don't care about the fucking Spanish Baseball League going on.
Exactly.
Spanish baseball league.
It's a world baseball class.
Yeah, only people who care about it is Dominicans that care.
Dominicans and Puerto Ricans.
That's the only two people that care.
And the Central America and South America.
They love it.
They love it.
Americans love it.
The Italians love it.
Americans, we don't give a fuck.
The Japanese love it.
Do they?
The finals tonight.
But Americans don't give a fuck.
I heard the coach fucked up.
Like he like, he did something, right?
Can you break it down?
He thought that they had already advanced into the knockout round.
Yeah.
And they didn't.
So Italy beat them.
And then Italy had to win their next game for the U.S. to advance or they would have been knocked out of the group stage.
And then they lost.
And then Italy ended up winning.
Yeah.
Which still brought the U.S. into there.
But the U.S. went into it with the assumption after three games that they had automatically closed.
He thought they clinched, so he put the B squad in.
Hilarious.
Just to give everybody some playing time.
And then we all see that.
Yeah, we're not taking out drugs.
Yeah, we're not taking a shit.
We got to lock in, boys.
We got to lock in.
We're playing Venezuela.
Get on their neck like Taylor Frankie Pohl.
You get them?
On their neck like a Mormon wife.
Okay.
Shout out, my girl, Taylor Frankie Pole.
This girl is bat shit.
Let me tell you.
But in a good way, right?
Because we want her to pot.
I can't confirm that, bro.
But we want her to pod, though, right?
I think it would be an entertaining.
Look at her.
Look at her.
Tell me that's not a shit.
Oh, she got crazy eyes, but she's beautiful.
Like that's not a shit full of bat right there.
I can't sorry, I can't pick sweet woman.
Yeah, I can't even say, tell me, tell me I'm lying when I say that she's a shit full of bats.
You not, and we know how to speak.
Oh, a bat full of shit.
You ain't even need it.
Fuck y'all.
That's a shit full of bats.
That's a shit full of shit.
Look at her.
She's crazy.
Yes.
But you know it's grippy.
You know it's grippy.
Back in the day.
You know it's grippy.
You know it's grippy.
The crazier the eyes, the better.
Come on.
No better what?
Just the better.
Just the better.
The grip.
Grip.
What is that grip like?
We stop.
She's the married woman.
You ever seen them wide receiver gloves?
You ever seen them?
She got a grip like Alex.
Yo, get her, get up off the screen.
Come on, come on, come on.
Married woman.
She's a married.
She's not married.
She not?
She's not.
I'm a married man.
Yeah.
I'm just not married.
She's crazy.
She's not married.
No, that's why she was going to be on the bachelor.
Oh, so fuck this bitch.
No, no, I don't.
Nah, but in a good way.
Fuck this bitch in a good way.
Alice, just got to interpret it.
Good.
Al.
It's like black women call other girls bitches.
And it's like, good, that's my bitch.
You're going to blame black women there.
Fuck damn.
Or you are a black woman.
Those are your two options.
Yes.
I'm trans.
Son.
Get me out of this.
Get me out of this.
Son.
Charlamagne said the only way Timmy Charlamagne can win an Oscar is if he does the Caitlyn Jenner biopic.
Boom.
Why does he love just taking it down?
Oh, the white boys with motion, right?
Oh, you got it.
He loves that shit.
He loves it.
Don't come in the breakfast club with no motion, white boys.
Nah, we need y'all to pod, crazy bitch.
Come on, Al.
This is a mom with crazy grip.
Mom, crazy groove.
Okay, crazy grip.
We need you.
That's your name now.
Miles.
You were the one that brought it up to me.
The grip was so fucking crazy.
But Lego is so funny.
When there's someone else down there, Miles told me she took the lug nuts off a wheel barehanded.
She said, Miles said she changed the tire barehanded, dude.
She wet.
She said the grip was that crazy.
You need your tire change coat.
She said the grip was that crazy.
Oh, I just hurt my dick.
Yo, it's all good, man.
You need somebody to grip that up.
You got to get your girl to grip that up.
Yep.
It does confirm that.
This is a respectful thing.
Yeah, I guess it is.
Nothing disrespectful about our girls gripping.
It's all due respect.
All due respect.
We're not going to sit here and say that our girls don't grip with all due respect.
Grippus.
You know what I mean?
Gripus.
Everybody loves Chase Infinity.
What the fuck is that?
She's an actress from one battle after another.
Is she not?
Yes.
Yeah, beautiful.
I thought you talked about a credit card.
Al hates black women, bro.
Dead ass daddy.
Al hates black women.
Chase got a new credit card that everybody loves.
I was like, what's the point?
Can I get corporate points?
Yo, can we just celebrate black women for one second, bro?
She's black.
And the podcast.
This guy.
She's black?
And your girl's white.
No, this looks like Kylie Jenna.
Well, that's what they're going for, right?
Isn't that?
No, no, stop it.
Stop it.
You don't think.
Oh, guys, stop.
Now we've gotten too warning.
Everybody, stop.
Stop it.
Whoa.
Stop being disrespectful.
Academy award.
There you go.
Bring the sandlock.
God damn.
Bring up.
Sandlock in.
That's not sandlot.
Yes, it is.
Pitcher got a big butt.
Pitcher got a big button.
Yeah.
Who's that?
That's Sandlot.
Miles.
You don't know the Shane.
He's not Sandlot.
No.
You're telling me that's not the catcher from the fucking Sandlot?
That is.
No.
Miles.
Son, that is definitely him.
You don't know you're white.
See?
You're right.
You're right.
You're very.
Yeah.
I think that's it.
Is that not him?
No.
Patrick Renner.
No, you're not Patrick Renna.
Is that not the same person?
No.
Yes, he got the Ozempic.
Wow, dude.
But can we go back to Chase?
I want that card.
Ow!
You unbelievable.
You have a married woman of color at your house right now.