Flagrant - Andrew Schulz & Akaash Singh - Shapiro’s Eyebrows, Chalamet Should Learn from Leo, & Are Jamaicans Irish? | #695
Aired: 2026-03-11
Duration: 01:47:48


=== Danny Gets New Heart (03:12) ===

[00:00:00]  What's up, everybody?
[00:00:01]  Welcome to Flagrant.
[00:00:02]  It's your boy Sheltzi here, Alex Media, Marky Gags.
[00:00:07]  We got an update from our Patreon brother, Danny, who needed a new heart and a new liver.
[00:00:14]  And he has been, I think, for about a week now, unable to talk.
[00:00:18]  He was able to get a new heart and a new liver.
[00:00:21]  Miracle.
[00:00:22]  Miracle.
[00:00:23]  Detroit.
[00:00:23]  Let's go.
[00:00:24]  Detroit versus everybody.
[00:00:25]  Detroit won again.
[00:00:27]  So we got the first update.
[00:00:29]  These are Danny's first words.
[00:00:31]  Let's hear it from Danny.
[00:00:32]  It starts really when, well, slowly getting back.
[00:00:38]  My strength, day by day recovery.
[00:00:41]  I really appreciate it going.
[00:00:42]  Vocal cords sound fucked, but it'll be back.
[00:00:46]  Any questions?
[00:00:47]  Let me know.
[00:00:48]  Let's go, Danny.
[00:00:49]  First of all, we are very excited.
[00:00:51]  Danny is back.
[00:00:52]  Second of all, if some of you guys know Danny, Danny speaks with like a he is like a what T Grizzly accent.
[00:01:00]  Yeah, like a Detroit.
[00:01:02]  Real Detroit.
[00:01:03]  Detailed accent.
[00:01:05]  And they must have put a Chinese liver in that motherfucker because the Asian accent is back.
[00:01:11]  Danny, you've gone to your roots, my boy.
[00:01:14]  Did you take that heart from the body's existence?
[00:01:21]  This is the first time he sounded Asian, right?
[00:01:23]  Come on, play it.
[00:01:25]  We need to go to what he sounded like before when he had his, when they had the black heart and black boyfriend there.
[00:01:30]  Get me an old Danny video, Miles, because people need personality.
[00:01:33]  He was like a T Grizzly before now.
[00:01:35]  He was.
[00:01:35]  Yin-yang twins next week.
[00:01:37]  See?
[00:01:38]  See, you can't let Al start talking.
[00:01:41]  We got to pivot the conversation to something more digestible.
[00:01:44]  Yeah.
[00:01:45]  I mean, good for him, though.
[00:01:46]  That's awesome.
[00:01:46]  Shout out, Danny, man.
[00:01:47]  Good for you.
[00:01:48]  We're glad you're.
[00:01:49]  Wait, can we play his new voice again?
[00:01:50]  Oh, yeah.
[00:01:50]  Play his new voice.
[00:01:52]  It sounds like something.
[00:01:53]  I can't tell exactly.
[00:01:54]  I don't know enough movies.
[00:01:55]  Yo, book war zone is fucked.
[00:01:58]  Boil it.
[00:01:58]  He'll be back.
[00:01:59]  It'll be back.
[00:02:01]  This nigga's Batman.
[00:02:04]  Does he sound like Transformers a little bit?
[00:02:07]  One second.
[00:02:07]  We're going to check the levels again.
[00:02:09]  We got it super cracked on that.
[00:02:11]  I'm the Cape Crusader.
[00:02:14]  Our audio guy just came in.
[00:02:16]  I was being critical of Danny's recording after he has a new heart and new liver and hasn't been able to speak for a week.
[00:02:24]  These are his first words.
[00:02:25]  Oh, the audio is all messed up.
[00:02:26]  Yeah, that's a little messed up.
[00:02:27]  Oh, he's covering the microphone with the tanky.
[00:02:28]  That's all.
[00:02:29]  That's all it was.
[00:02:31]  That's right.
[00:02:31]  Anyway, Danny, man, good luck with Raz Al Ghoul and whoever's going to be fighting over the next few movies.
[00:02:38]  We appreciate you and we love you.
[00:02:40]  Okay.
[00:02:41]  Damn.
[00:02:41]  Good for Danny.
[00:02:42]  Danny's back, man.
[00:02:44]  That's awesome.
[00:02:44]  I had a feeling he would get a heart, man.
[00:02:46]  I had a feeling.
[00:02:48]  We made it happen.
[00:02:49]  Yeah, we did make it happen.
[00:02:50]  I also feel like the crime rate in Detroit also made it happen.
[00:02:52]  Like you're going to, if you need a new heart, don't you want to be in a place where people get shot a lot?
[00:02:59]  That's a good point.
[00:03:00]  That's like a dirty water heart, though.
[00:03:02]  Yeah.
[00:03:03]  Do you really want?
[00:03:04]  It's been a lot of time.
[00:03:04]  They're not getting it from Flint, Michigan.
[00:03:07]  They're getting it from Detroit.
[00:03:09]  I thought all of that shit.
[00:03:10]  All right, fair enough.
[00:03:11]  We try.

=== Messed Up Audio (08:59) ===

[00:03:12]  There's got to be a correlation, right?
[00:03:13]  Crime rate and like if you need new organs, you don't want to be in like a health, like Boulder, Colorado, or like, you don't want to be in.
[00:03:22]  Tulsky are the best hearts.
[00:03:24]  They're the best, but you're not going to come by them that often.
[00:03:27]  It's like a freak snowboarding accident, which could happen.
[00:03:30]  Rarely.
[00:03:32]  But they have enough money to abduct people, and then you get a nice, clean, fresh heart.
[00:03:35]  There's a version there, but there's also a version where, you know, some organ donation nonprofit is paying inner city gangs to shoot each other so they can provide livers and hearts for people that need it.
[00:03:49]  I'm just putting that out there.
[00:03:50]  I don't want Tyler Olivera to do a research project on it.
[00:03:54]  But Tyler, if you're out there, this is possible.
[00:03:57]  There might be something going on here.
[00:03:58]  He's doing the Lord's work, bro.
[00:04:00]  Which lore?
[00:04:03]  Not the Shem's work.
[00:04:08]  WTF about to lose your bill.
[00:04:11]  Nah, we're good. We're good.
[00:04:13]  Say again?
[00:04:14]  You want to be around motorcyclists?
[00:04:16]  You want to be around motorcyclists.
[00:04:17]  That's who donates the most.
[00:04:19]  Oh, really?
[00:04:19]  You're dark.
[00:04:20]  That's nice of them.
[00:04:20]  Why?
[00:04:21]  Because they get in the most accidents.
[00:04:22]  Have you been on your motorcycle since your children?
[00:04:25]  You're a kid.
[00:04:26]  No, right?
[00:04:26]  Isn't that interesting?
[00:04:28]  Yeah.
[00:04:28]  In the garage.
[00:04:30]  And do you think you'll ever bike again?
[00:04:32]  Probably not.
[00:04:33]  How does your wife feel about that?
[00:04:35]  What, that my dreams are destroyed?
[00:04:37]  No, more that like you'd be fine dying and leaving her alone, but now your children.
[00:04:41]  That's kind of what it is.
[00:04:43]  Yeah, basically.
[00:04:43]  Yeah, yeah.
[00:04:44]  Well, she lives a lot of her life without me.
[00:04:46]  So she's used to that.
[00:04:47]  Yeah, she can go back to it.
[00:04:48]  My kids only ever known me as a deadbeat.
[00:04:52]  You know what I mean?
[00:04:53]  Like, yeah, I can't abandon him now.
[00:04:56]  I feel like a deadbeat dad to my son.
[00:04:59]  Oh, yeah, yeah.
[00:05:00]  I'm ignoring that kid.
[00:05:02]  I just hang out with Shiloh all day.
[00:05:04]  Yeah.
[00:05:04]  And then he just like pops up.
[00:05:06]  He'll like burp or throw up.
[00:05:07]  And then I just hold him for a bit.
[00:05:08]  And I'm like, this is way less fun than hanging around with her.
[00:05:11]  Yeah, but Newmorns are ignoring you.
[00:05:13]  You know what I mean?
[00:05:14]  Like, you ignore them, but they ignore you.
[00:05:15]  He ignored you first.
[00:05:16]  But that shouldn't be the case.
[00:05:17]  I should be just pouring into this little boy like I poured into Shiloh.
[00:05:21]  He don't want you, bro.
[00:05:22]  Until six months.
[00:05:24]  Until six months, then you start to come around.
[00:05:26]  That's what he said.
[00:05:27]  He's a deadbeat kid until six months.
[00:05:29]  I love how you're reframing this.
[00:05:31]  It makes me feel a lot better emotionally.
[00:05:33]  You should be mad at him.
[00:05:33]  You should be holding a grudge.
[00:05:34]  And then he's going to come around in six months.
[00:05:35]  You'll be like, oh, now you want me.
[00:05:37]  Yeah.
[00:05:37]  Oh, now you're coming around, huh?
[00:05:38]  No, that's a good way of framing it.
[00:05:40]  I'd feel like a piece of shit that I'm not pouring in when he doesn't want me.
[00:05:43]  That's a time that I should be showing up the most.
[00:05:46]  Skin to skin.
[00:05:47]  Skin to skin, dude.
[00:05:48]  Yeah.
[00:05:49]  Yeah.
[00:05:51]  No, no, they don't care.
[00:05:53]  Right?
[00:05:53]  That's what I tell myself.
[00:05:54]  I guess we could tell ourselves that.
[00:05:56]  I don't know.
[00:05:57]  Did you figure out the Middle East, by the way?
[00:05:59]  I heard you.
[00:05:59]  Yeah, yeah, we're talking about it.
[00:06:00]  Yeah, we figured that shit out.
[00:06:02]  That's easy.
[00:06:03]  The Middle East is fucking easy.
[00:06:06]  It is.
[00:06:06]  Yeah.
[00:06:07]  Seems difficult.
[00:06:09]  Walking into the studio and just yelling at each other about Middle Eastern politics and stuff.
[00:06:15]  Yeah, but we got it all figured out, dude.
[00:06:17]  I love playing Monday morning quarterback about what's happening in the Middle East.
[00:06:20]  What I would have done is I would have secured the straight-of-war moves.
[00:06:23]  The way this consumes you is unlike anything I've ever seen.
[00:06:25]  Why?
[00:06:25]  You texted me.
[00:06:27]  I said, hey, what's up?
[00:06:28]  He goes, just woke up from a nap.
[00:06:30]  The war's not going well for us.
[00:06:34]  As if you're in charge of the war.
[00:06:37]  Like, why are you so consumed by this?
[00:06:41]  Oh, man.
[00:06:43]  What else is there to be consumed with?
[00:06:44]  Like, imagine being like really upset about anything else.
[00:06:47]  How do you think I thought you were in Tehran when you texted me?
[00:06:50]  Bro, this shit is not going well.
[00:06:52]  I took a beautiful nap while my wife watched both kids.
[00:06:55]  It was amazing.
[00:06:56]  Four hours.
[00:06:57]  Woke up.
[00:06:57]  I was like, that was great.
[00:06:58]  You should have done one of those.
[00:07:00]  And yeah, she wasn't happy with that, Connor.
[00:07:03]  But yeah, yeah.
[00:07:04]  I mean, do none of you guys think about it?
[00:07:06]  I've been thinking about it, but just the way it's consumed you is unlike anything ever.
[00:07:11]  Well, how does it work?
[00:07:12]  We're like, dude, what do you want to talk about?
[00:07:14]  Dude, there's nothing else I can think of.
[00:07:16]  What else is there, Mom?
[00:07:17]  I agree.
[00:07:17]  There's really nothing.
[00:07:18]  What else is there?
[00:07:19]  There's nothing else.
[00:07:20]  What else is going on?
[00:07:21]  Should we talk about traders?
[00:07:22]  Yeah, yes.
[00:07:23]  Exactly.
[00:07:24]  Traders.
[00:07:25]  You know?
[00:07:26]  I mean, you did bring a war correspondent into the studio today.
[00:07:30]  I did.
[00:07:31]  Who was it?
[00:07:31]  It's our good friend Joey Avery.
[00:07:33]  Oh, Joey Avery is here, by the way, guys.
[00:07:36]  We have Joey Avery here.
[00:07:37]  We have Joey Avery.
[00:07:41]  He wanted this issue solved.
[00:07:44]  Yeah, so we definitely got to solve it.
[00:07:46]  We'll get to that at the end of the episode, but we definitely got to.
[00:07:49]  Joey Avery is here, ladies and gentlemen.
[00:07:51]  Big round of applause for Joey Avery.
[00:07:55]  Thank you.
[00:07:57]  The building.
[00:07:59]  Unnecessary.
[00:08:02]  Unnecessary.
[00:08:03]  Yeah, he's been too confident since the soundboard.
[00:08:05]  Who?
[00:08:06]  Miles?
[00:08:07]  I never know if it's Miles or Joey.
[00:08:08]  It's me now.
[00:08:09]  I got it working.
[00:08:10]  Yeah.
[00:08:10]  Well, to Mark's point, though, it has consumed you because you and I were talking about my special that I just released and the piece of advice that I got from you.
[00:08:18]  You just said, damn, dropping during a war.
[00:08:21]  I was like, dude, what?
[00:08:23]  I don't have a choice.
[00:08:24]  It's already scheduled.
[00:08:25]  It's going up.
[00:08:26]  All you did was just shake my confidence.
[00:08:28]  That's a tough drop.
[00:08:30]  That's a tough drop.
[00:08:31]  I would love to see you parenting the past two weeks.
[00:08:33]  You're like, you're really going to need diaper change during a war?
[00:08:35]  During a war is a crazy change.
[00:08:37]  During a war is crazy.
[00:08:38]  Asking for anything if you know during a war is crazy.
[00:08:40]  Yeah.
[00:08:41]  You get out of everything, right?
[00:08:43]  Everything.
[00:08:43]  Yeah.
[00:08:43]  Yeah.
[00:08:44]  100%.
[00:08:45]  I haven't seen my mom in like a month.
[00:08:46]  I'm like, mom, there's a war going on.
[00:08:48]  What do you want?
[00:08:49]  You want to go out for lunch and just chat shit while a war is going on in Quran?
[00:08:54]  Oh, that is awesome.
[00:08:55]  Yo, how Iranians pronounce Tehran is hilarious.
[00:08:59]  They got the H in their heart.
[00:09:01]  Like, it's too hard.
[00:09:02]  I'm saying Iranian America.
[00:09:04]  I don't know.
[00:09:05]  I haven't heard.
[00:09:05]  I don't know.
[00:09:06]  It's like, you know, yeah, I don't know.
[00:09:09]  I don't know, Al.
[00:09:10]  Come on, stop it.
[00:09:11]  It's not like you're supporting the Ayatollah.
[00:09:14]  Do you support the Ayatollah?
[00:09:16]  New or old?
[00:09:17]  Yeah.
[00:09:17]  Which one?
[00:09:18]  Oh, the new guy.
[00:09:19]  The new guy.
[00:09:20]  Oh, the Nepo.
[00:09:20]  Yeah, I don't think he's going to like us very much.
[00:09:23]  Yeah.
[00:09:23]  This whole family.
[00:09:24]  Yeah, yeah.
[00:09:25]  Kind of creating super villains.
[00:09:28]  Trump's probably out there.
[00:09:29]  Like, I think he'll be reasonable.
[00:09:30]  Yeah.
[00:09:31]  No, you may badmint, actually.
[00:09:32]  Yeah, seriously.
[00:09:35]  Yeah, Joey.
[00:09:35]  So have you solved it?
[00:09:37]  No, but I've been thinking about it too, dude.
[00:09:39]  It hasn't been weighing on me as well.
[00:09:42]  Yeah.
[00:09:42]  I just like I wake up and I'm like, this is not great.
[00:09:44]  It's not.
[00:09:45]  And we don't have any sports.
[00:09:47]  No.
[00:09:48]  I do feel like people have consumed, like, listening to certain content about the war kind of fills the sports gap.
[00:09:55]  Because when I hear people talking about the movement of missiles, I'm like, I do miss football.
[00:10:00]  You know what I mean?
[00:10:01]  Like, that's the type of strategy.
[00:10:03]  Andrew Parlay's still hitting the same.
[00:10:04]  You know what I mean?
[00:10:05]  The fact you got money on it.
[00:10:06]  You're like, dude, this is great.
[00:10:08]  Everything's turning out, you know?
[00:10:09]  Yeah.
[00:10:09]  Have we figured out how to stop the insider trading on like gambling on the war and things like that?
[00:10:17]  We're just supposed to copy these accounts.
[00:10:20]  Yeah, yeah.
[00:10:21]  My entire Twitter is just people being like, some polymarket account knows something.
[00:10:25]  And I'm just like, that doesn't feel dump all the money on it.
[00:10:27]  But I should probably, yeah, throw a little bit of money.
[00:10:30]  It is kind of funny because like the way people use the insider trader war is just the stock market.
[00:10:36]  Right.
[00:10:36]  Yeah.
[00:10:37]  Right.
[00:10:37]  Like somebody would dump some crazy amount of money into like oil futures and be like, oh, I wonder why.
[00:10:42]  I wonder why you're betting that oil is going to go up.
[00:10:44]  And then oil goes up 100% like it did this week.
[00:10:48]  And that miss old corruption.
[00:10:50]  Yeah, because it's like old, it is interesting.
[00:10:52]  Like old corruption, it is like it's waspy.
[00:10:57]  And that like we pretend it's not happening, you know, and then just underneath the table, just horrible shit is going on.
[00:11:04]  And then now that we're dealing with it right in front of our eyes, we're like, oh, God, corruption is horrible.
[00:11:08]  It was more elegant when we could kind of ignore it a little bit.
[00:11:11]  Yeah, exactly.
[00:11:12]  Yeah.
[00:11:13]  Conmen were dignified.
[00:11:14]  Yeah.
[00:11:15]  Was that conmen?
[00:11:17]  Insider traders?
[00:11:18]  I guess not really con.
[00:11:19]  Well, I just like, I appreciate when we obviously, I don't think Iraq or Iran have been great, but I appreciated that they did a good job of like lying for Iraq.
[00:11:29]  Like they tried to tell us there was like a reason.
[00:11:32]  And for this one, they're like, I don't know.
[00:11:33]  Yeah.
[00:11:34]  Yeah.
[00:11:36]  You know who's been thinking about this conflict a lot?
[00:11:38]  Who?
[00:11:38]  Our sound guy.
[00:11:39]  Israel.
[00:11:41]  Yo.
[00:11:42]  Our sound guy's name is Israel.
[00:11:47]  I would have just changed my name.
[00:11:50]  Or like Izzy or something.
[00:11:54]  Just behind the scenes, pulling the strings.
[00:11:59]  Joey's mic is turned off for the rest of the episode.
[00:12:01]  Yeah.
[00:12:02]  Yeah, we lost Joey's audio for somebody.
[00:12:04]  What the fuck is going on over here?
[00:12:06]  Oh, it's rough.
[00:12:07]  I'm going to call it early today.
[00:12:08]  So you guys.
[00:12:09]  I don't even know what he said.

=== Joey Loses His Mic (08:53) ===

[00:12:12]  English.
[00:12:13]  English is the.
[00:12:16]  It wasn't funny enough to repeat.
[00:12:18]  Okay.
[00:12:18]  Thanks for interrupting again.
[00:12:20]  Okay, guys.
[00:12:21]  Can we just, can we not talk about the war or politics for a second?
[00:12:25]  Let's try it.
[00:12:26]  No funny thing.
[00:12:27]  No politics.
[00:12:28]  Just what else is happening?
[00:12:30]  All right.
[00:12:30]  America is some real controversy here.
[00:12:33]  Is a marathon 26 miles or is it 18?
[00:12:38]  Should Timmy Chalamet have opinions on ballet?
[00:12:40]  Like, this is what we're dealing with.
[00:12:42]  Exactly.
[00:12:43]  Usually America has news that is, you know, controversial and it gets us going and we're talking about.
[00:12:48]  They're not even providing that.
[00:12:51]  Right?
[00:12:51]  Like, there's no, I don't, do you guys give a fuck what Timmy Chalamet thinks about ballet or opera?
[00:12:56]  No.
[00:12:56]  I don't think anyone does.
[00:12:57]  The culture war has gone soft.
[00:12:59]  It's gone so soft.
[00:13:00]  It's bad.
[00:13:01]  Also, Timmy, you got to just stop talking.
[00:13:04]  Take it from guys who know.
[00:13:07]  Stop talking.
[00:13:08]  It's listen, you killed it.
[00:13:11]  The rollout for Marty Supreme was amazing.
[00:13:14]  You're white boy at a month.
[00:13:16]  Once you're white boy, you don't need to add a podcast.
[00:13:19]  No, I'm being hot.
[00:13:21]  Like, once you become white boy of the month or white boy of the year, whatever it is, it's only down.
[00:13:26]  Yeah.
[00:13:27]  You can only go down from white boy of the month.
[00:13:30]  Nobody's just like white boy of the century.
[00:13:32]  That's not how it works.
[00:13:34]  I didn't know that was a thing.
[00:13:35]  When did that become a thing?
[00:13:36]  Stop it, Adam.
[00:13:36]  You don't know who you did him, bro.
[00:13:39]  You've never heard of it.
[00:13:40]  They do it at the BAFTA Awards.
[00:13:41]  It's a big thing.
[00:13:44]  It's whoever yells it out.
[00:13:47]  But it is a thing that happens, right?
[00:13:49]  It's like, if I'm any, you got to just be Leo, dude.
[00:13:53]  Leo is just, he perfected.
[00:13:55]  And, you know, his grandfather did him from like old cinema, but like, you just never hear him talking.
[00:14:00]  Because when you talk, you get in trouble.
[00:14:02]  Yeah.
[00:14:02]  Like, this is a lukewarm take, but I think that people are just going, okay, you can't be the coolest kid with the hit movie and you're a superstar and you just get to talk all the time and have opinions.
[00:14:13]  But how else do you promote Marty Supreme?
[00:14:14]  It's already promoted.
[00:14:15]  It's done.
[00:14:16]  That's why I don't understand why he's still talking.
[00:14:18]  I think this was an old clip.
[00:14:19]  And so there's controversy that this is an Oscar's smear campaign.
[00:14:23]  Oh, because it didn't actually hit, but they think that maybe someone who wants to go against him.
[00:14:28]  So this isn't even recent?
[00:14:30]  That's what I heard.
[00:14:31]  I would double check that.
[00:14:32]  But yeah, I heard it.
[00:14:33]  It actually came out and people didn't really care.
[00:14:35]  I like that.
[00:14:36]  And then, yeah.
[00:14:37]  It was February 20th.
[00:14:38]  Yeah.
[00:14:40]  Eons ago.
[00:14:40]  This is before the fucking war gone.
[00:14:42]  The Oscar.
[00:14:44]  When was Marty Supreme out?
[00:14:45]  Christmas Day.
[00:14:46]  Oh, so you're talking too long.
[00:14:48]  But the Oscars are on Sunday.
[00:14:49]  No, you're talking too long.
[00:14:50]  You got to stop talking.
[00:14:52]  Once the movie is going to be a long time.
[00:14:52]  No, but now he's trying to get the Oscar.
[00:14:54]  Yeah, but you're trying for too much.
[00:14:56]  You can't.
[00:14:57]  You got white boy at a month.
[00:14:59]  The fuck, you need an Oscar for it.
[00:15:01]  What do you need a fucking Oscar for?
[00:15:03]  You're white boy of the month.
[00:15:05]  He's looking very Latino right now.
[00:15:07]  Oh, yeah.
[00:15:07]  That's bad.
[00:15:08]  Like, this is a little bad buddy.
[00:15:12]  Nah.
[00:15:12]  Yeah.
[00:15:13]  He looked like the SNL dude, the comedian.
[00:15:16]  Marcelo.
[00:15:17]  Yeah.
[00:15:18]  He biting Marcelo slag.
[00:15:20]  What are they saying?
[00:15:20]  Who's going to win the Oscar?
[00:15:22]  Was this Calcios for the Oscars?
[00:15:23]  Yeah, what is this?
[00:15:24]  Michael B. Jordan just pulled ahead.
[00:15:26]  Oh, he just pulled ahead.
[00:15:28]  Because of this club.
[00:15:30]  Do you know Michael B. Jordan's opinions on anything?
[00:15:33]  No.
[00:15:34]  No.
[00:15:34]  Do you know Brad Pitt's opinions on anything?
[00:15:36]  You want a long career in anything?
[00:15:38]  No, what it takes about parenting.
[00:15:41]  He did not share that.
[00:15:43]  Angela Michelle Lee on a fucking podcast project.
[00:15:46]  Yeah, that's true.
[00:15:47]  Trying to take his Oscars off.
[00:15:49]  That's it.
[00:15:50]  If you want a long career in entertainment, you just don't ever talk on a podcast.
[00:15:55]  I'm just listening.
[00:15:57]  I'm just saying.
[00:15:58]  Listen, I'm just saying this is the advice that I give these young ruffians.
[00:16:02]  If you want a long career in entertainment, you don't talk all podcasts.
[00:16:06]  So, do you think it's worse for Leo if he goes on a podcast than keeps fucking 22-year-olds?
[00:16:12]  25.
[00:16:13]  25.
[00:16:13]  That's his limit.
[00:16:14]  You've seen the infographic.
[00:16:15]  Dude, nobody's really upset at him for that.
[00:16:17]  Right.
[00:16:18]  Wouldn't you be more upset if he watched you correct to 25?
[00:16:23]  It does make it different.
[00:16:24]  That makes a difference.
[00:16:26]  25 years old.
[00:16:28]  He's fucking like 45.
[00:16:30]  First of all, he's 50.
[00:16:32]  Exactly.
[00:16:33]  If he was fucking 50-year-old women, I would shoot him in the head myself.
[00:16:37]  This is Leonardo DiCaprio.
[00:16:39]  Wouldn't you shake the shit out of him if he was banging age-appropriate?
[00:16:44]  He's 50 years old.
[00:16:45]  He can do like 30.
[00:16:46]  What's this right here?
[00:16:47]  That's the infographic of Leo's age versus the girls.
[00:16:52]  So the limit is 25, but he goes and peeks and bats.
[00:16:56]  Oh, wow.
[00:16:57]  This is a good use of an infographic.
[00:16:59]  Can you tell me?
[00:17:00]  He is fucking hilarious.
[00:17:01]  Okay.
[00:17:02]  Okay.
[00:17:02]  So are we really going to blame a guy who's 50 for wanting to bang 25-year-olds?
[00:17:10]  When you jerk off the porn, you look for age-appropriate women.
[00:17:14]  Why do we got to do it?
[00:17:19]  There's no category for it.
[00:17:21]  I close my eyes and think about my wife while she's sitting next to you.
[00:17:26]  I'm just thinking about his weekends, though.
[00:17:28]  Just think about her at 25.
[00:17:34]  Old work.
[00:17:38]  I don't understand this.
[00:17:39]  Like, I mean, that's the thing.
[00:17:41]  We only know.
[00:17:41]  And Nikki Glazer had this fucking great joke.
[00:17:43]  I think it was at the Golden Globes.
[00:17:44]  Did you see that?
[00:17:45]  Where like she basically makes fun of him for dating 25-year-olds.
[00:17:50]  And then she's like, I'm sorry, Leo, but that's literally the only thing we know about you.
[00:17:54]  And it was actually a great observation.
[00:17:56]  Like, he's handled the career so well that the only things we know about him are he's amazing at acting.
[00:18:02]  He likes girls that are 25 and he cares about the environment.
[00:18:06]  I like that you keep giving him 25 when clearly he has a radio.
[00:18:11]  Why do you hate rain?
[00:18:13]  Good gracious.
[00:18:15]  You just keep saying he's watching Django.
[00:18:18]  He doesn't want Django.
[00:18:18]  That's what it was.
[00:18:20]  He doesn't like him.
[00:18:21]  Django's like, you're hungry as motherfucker.
[00:18:25]  No, Al, you're a hate him, bro.
[00:18:26]  Why are you trying to drag his median down?
[00:18:30]  Come on.
[00:18:32]  Come on, bro.
[00:18:32]  That's not the median.
[00:18:34]  To me, that looks like the median.
[00:18:37]  I think that's the median.
[00:18:38]  He's only 25.
[00:18:39]  The girl he's with now is damn near 27.
[00:18:42]  He only is 12 years old.
[00:18:42]  10 years.
[00:18:44]  10 years.
[00:18:45]  Why do they even talk about?
[00:18:47]  Yeah.
[00:18:48]  Or their future 25-year-olds.
[00:18:50]  This is so fucking good.
[00:18:51]  Do you think he'll ever get to the point where he just has like a Gen Z cut?
[00:18:55]  You know, and he just starts using all the slang.
[00:18:57]  Oh, yeah.
[00:18:57]  Yeah.
[00:18:58]  You have to keep up at some point, get a little dangling.
[00:19:01]  I am like baffled.
[00:19:02]  If you're going to marry a girl, yeah, you go age of probes.
[00:19:05]  Yes.
[00:19:07]  But, but.
[00:19:10]  Yeah.
[00:19:12]  We're just hanging out on a yacht.
[00:19:16]  Yeah.
[00:19:17]  I'm not knocking it.
[00:19:18]  You're going to bring the other 45-year-old women.
[00:19:19]  I'm not knocking it.
[00:19:20]  It's just funny that you hate it.
[00:19:22]  You go into the tie anymore.
[00:19:23]  The guy dates 30-year-old women.
[00:19:24]  Am I going to hate him if I date a 30-year-old woman?
[00:19:27]  A dude did 45 once a day, 30-year-old women.
[00:19:30]  What's wrong with that even?
[00:19:32]  What is wrong with it?
[00:19:34]  Shout out to Leo, man.
[00:19:36]  He kept his mouth shut.
[00:19:37]  He loves the environment.
[00:19:38]  Doesn't loves the environment.
[00:19:39]  That's why he recycles women so much.
[00:19:42]  Not only that, but he tries to move around big yachts and stuff.
[00:19:47]  For white boy of the decade, say again.
[00:19:48]  That might be the prize for White Boy of the Decade.
[00:19:50]  Which is what?
[00:19:51]  Banging 30-year-old woman.
[00:19:53]  35 sometimes.
[00:19:54]  35.
[00:19:55]  40-year-old woman.
[00:19:55]  Look, guys, one of these days he's going to have sex with a 30-year-old woman.
[00:19:58]  Yeah.
[00:19:59]  And we're going to celebrate it.
[00:20:02]  We're going to be like, oh my God, he's moving.
[00:20:04]  We're going to be like, yo, he got a Biden brain.
[00:20:06]  What's your name?
[00:20:08]  All right, guys.
[00:20:08]  Here are all our dates in less than 30 seconds.
[00:20:10]  Nashville, 20th, 21st, sold out.
[00:20:12]  Thank you guys so much.
[00:20:13]  Joe Avery is going to be joining us.
[00:20:14]  Providence, Rhode Island, March 28th.
[00:20:16]  Los Angeles with Jelly Roll.
[00:20:17]  May 8th, August 8th in Halifax, Nova Scotia.
[00:20:20]  Las Vegas, Nevada, Salt Lake City, Minneapolis, Calgary, Naples, Daniel Beach, Dallas, Bernaleo, Cleveland, Rosemont, Chicago, San Francisco, Sacramento, Tempe, Edmonton, St. Pete, Charlotte, Detroit, San Diego, and watch my special Joe Avery live in San Francisco.
[00:20:35]  And we have a monthly show.
[00:20:36]  31st of March.
[00:20:37]  And I'm doing another show on April 3rd in New York City.
[00:20:41]  Check it out at Mark Gagnon Live.
[00:20:42]  Alex.
[00:20:43]  And this Monday, March 16th, I have a canceled comedy.
[00:20:47]  We have some funny motherfuckers.
[00:20:48]  Ricky Velez, Cam Patterson, Natalie Friedman, a bunch of other funny motherfuckers.
[00:20:52]  Just head to cancelcomedyx.com and get your tickets now.
[00:20:55]  That's how I know I'm stressed.
[00:20:56]  I've been watching the Outdoor Boys non-stop.
[00:20:59]  That's my like stress reduction activity.
[00:21:03]  Comfort show.
[00:21:03]  Oh my God.
[00:21:04]  Oh, it's just, do you watch outdoor?
[00:21:05]  I don't know.

=== Cancelled Comedy Show (05:01) ===

[00:21:06]  What is it?
[00:21:06]  It's this guy who's just from Alaska.
[00:21:08]  Mormon guy is amazing.
[00:21:09]  And he's just like builds different types of shelters in the forest.
[00:21:13]  That sounds nice.
[00:21:14]  And he has that's such a dad thing to watch.
[00:21:16]  And he has a family that he leaves every weekend to go.
[00:21:20]  That's what Andrew's watching.
[00:21:21]  Dude, he's fantasizing about the idea of just being alone.
[00:21:24]  Just being alone.
[00:21:26]  Yeah.
[00:21:26]  Let me hang out.
[00:21:27]  Look at my boy's hands.
[00:21:29]  Man who's never cleaned a coffee maker but might build a shed.
[00:21:32]  I'm not going to build.
[00:21:32]  I'm not going to build.
[00:21:33]  But look at that view.
[00:21:34]  That's a love.
[00:21:35]  Look at him out on a boat.
[00:21:37]  Oh, look at him.
[00:21:39]  Cutting wood.
[00:21:39]  It's just failing.
[00:21:43]  Yeah, food stuff.
[00:21:44]  Eating a potato.
[00:21:46]  Watch it.
[00:21:47]  I mean, do you guys not watch it?
[00:21:48]  Nobody knows?
[00:21:49]  No, I know.
[00:21:51]  But what is it actually?
[00:21:52]  The alone part, or is it like the procedural kind of like it's?
[00:21:55]  It is all of it.
[00:21:57]  And let me tell you where I peak, like my, what i'm waiting for?
[00:22:02]  I'm just sitting there and i'm like edging towards it and maybe i'll like google 10 second forward, 10 second forward.
[00:22:08]  But i'm waiting for him to say, I got some fresh dough.
[00:22:14]  Yeah yeah miles, I know I got some fresh dough.
[00:22:17]  And what else do I have?
[00:22:18]  I got that honey butter, honey butter.
[00:22:24]  When he bakes that dough in the back of the shovel and then he dips it into that honey butter, oh my god, there's nothing better, is that it?
[00:22:34]  That's a nice.
[00:22:35]  He probably made a little like pita or something like that.
[00:22:38]  But when he breaks that, bakes that fresh dough and he dips that honey butter, walking miles on those rocks with these boots has just been killing my feet good golly, look at him.
[00:22:55]  Make that bread on that hot rock.
[00:22:57]  That's fire.
[00:22:58]  Yes, it is fire, al.
[00:23:00]  I'm glad Glad, you're realizing it.
[00:23:02]  Wait till you see that honey butter.
[00:23:05]  Look at him cut a trout that he caught right out of that lake.
[00:23:12]  You ever go camping, Schultz?
[00:23:13]  Never went in my entire life.
[00:23:15]  Why?
[00:23:16]  You would really enjoy it.
[00:23:17]  Never went once, and I've been dying to go.
[00:23:20]  Yeah, dude, you would love it.
[00:23:21]  I want to go winter camping.
[00:23:22]  Oh, like, right.
[00:23:23]  I forgot about your winter camping.
[00:23:25]  Yeah, snow camping.
[00:23:25]  I want to do snow.
[00:23:26]  I want to deal with the elements.
[00:23:27]  I mean, you basically just missed it.
[00:23:29]  Yeah, but you can't really winter camp here.
[00:23:31]  I want like the real deal, man.
[00:23:33]  Life or death.
[00:23:33]  But why don't you start off?
[00:23:35]  Try a summer camp.
[00:23:36]  It's actually not nice to go in the water.
[00:23:39]  Like, dude, that bread, that bread, you know how you can feel how good it tastes to him when you've been out in the elements and your feet hurt because of these bullshits and you finally get to eat that bread.
[00:23:49]  It's the best bread in its life.
[00:23:51]  And you're just thinking about it.
[00:23:52]  Yeah, but to me, there's something about the elements, like it being so cold that it's actually killing you.
[00:23:58]  And then you creating your own fire and feeling that warmth.
[00:24:01]  Out of all of us, you tap out first if we go camping.
[00:24:04]  You think I'd tap before you?
[00:24:05]  Yeah.
[00:24:06]  Yeah.
[00:24:07]  You have everything brought to you.
[00:24:11]  I think he's bringing five Sherbus too.
[00:24:14]  I'm going to have somebody there with me.
[00:24:18]  Yeah.
[00:24:19]  You need some help.
[00:24:20]  But when it's hot out, there's no like respite from the heat, right?
[00:24:23]  It's like, it's not like you go in the tent and then it's cool.
[00:24:26]  There's no AC.
[00:24:27]  Well, usually you're near a body of water so you can cool off.
[00:24:29]  There's shade from the trees.
[00:24:31]  At night, it cools off pretty quick.
[00:24:36]  So it's not hot enough.
[00:24:39]  Not quite control the weather enough.
[00:24:42]  This guy is like, I won't go to Burning Man without a luxury RV, but he can handle it.
[00:24:47]  Come up to Burning Man with a semi-luxury.
[00:24:50]  But Burning Man is about drugs.
[00:24:52]  You know what I mean?
[00:24:53]  Yeah.
[00:24:53]  This is about.
[00:24:54]  If you're a Burning Man to camp or like be in a tent, you're a fucking idiot.
[00:24:58]  Like you should have everything be as comfortable as possible so you can do those drugs and recover.
[00:25:03]  That is true.
[00:25:04]  But you cannot last a day by yourself in the woods.
[00:25:08]  I don't think you can.
[00:25:09]  I mean, alone?
[00:25:10]  Alone.
[00:25:11]  You'd be surprised.
[00:25:13]  You'd be surprised.
[00:25:16]  You would be surprised.
[00:25:17]  You're just going to fast for a day.
[00:25:19]  No, I'm going to bring some food.
[00:25:21]  I'll make some bread.
[00:25:23]  I'll.
[00:25:24]  I guess bring out some honey butter.
[00:25:25]  I'll definitely bring the honey butter and heat it up on that stove that he's got.
[00:25:29]  And you got it all melting and you dip right in.
[00:25:31]  And then, yeah, I'd probably fish or hunt or do whatever you do for food.
[00:25:35]  He brings his food, by the way.
[00:25:36]  He's not always like hunting for food.
[00:25:37]  He brings a meal.
[00:25:38]  He brings like a nice chicken curry.
[00:25:40]  Like he gets off.
[00:25:41]  And it's cold enough that you can just keep it in your backpack.
[00:25:43]  It's refrigerated the whole time you're hiking.
[00:25:45]  Yeah.
[00:25:46]  Yeah.
[00:25:46]  Stupid.
[00:25:47]  You don't know how fucking temperature works.
[00:25:49]  Do you even like winter sports?
[00:25:50]  You ever ski or snowboard or anything?
[00:25:51]  I did some snowboarding.
[00:25:52]  Okay.
[00:25:53]  Yeah.
[00:25:53]  I skied.
[00:25:53]  I skied once or twice.
[00:25:55]  How'd you handle that?
[00:25:56]  It's cold, dude.
[00:25:57]  It's wet.
[00:25:58]  It's cold.
[00:26:00]  It's chilly, bro.
[00:26:01]  You get wet.
[00:26:02]  My favorite part of that is when you go into like the little cabin area and have a hot cocoa.

=== Honey Butter Breakfast (07:56) ===

[00:26:08]  That is the best part.
[00:26:08]  So I think that's what it's really about.
[00:26:11]  Apre ski is kind of what's appre ski.
[00:26:14]  Can we get some alcohol?
[00:26:16]  Let's have a nice little vacation.
[00:26:18]  Oh, abreast.
[00:26:19]  What do you mean it's too early?
[00:26:21]  We got another episode after.
[00:26:22]  No, no.
[00:26:23]  The way I calculate this is I have date night tonight that I'll probably drink at.
[00:26:27]  So I'm going to already kind of go.
[00:26:28]  It's one drink, basically.
[00:26:29]  One drink.
[00:26:30]  If it's in the whole day, everyone knows the rules.
[00:26:34]  We're going out with another couple tonight, not swingers.
[00:26:37]  And we hope.
[00:26:39]  I want to be lubed up for that just in case.
[00:26:42]  I like getting a little sauce and then going on like a first date with another couple.
[00:26:46]  The best.
[00:26:47]  My wife and I will take shots in our apartment so that we can come in hot.
[00:26:51]  We're going out.
[00:26:52]  That's one drink.
[00:26:52]  My wife doesn't know that we're drinking.
[00:26:54]  Oh.
[00:26:54]  So I come in hot and then sit down and then Iran immediately.
[00:26:58]  Yes.
[00:26:59]  Yeah.
[00:27:00]  Politely, we're talking about Iran, and I cannot wait.
[00:27:03]  And I cannot wait.
[00:27:05]  And my wife is like, You cannot leave me alone in the conversation.
[00:27:07]  You have to include me and everything.
[00:27:09]  And I'd be like, Okay, well, you better read up about the fucking Shah.
[00:27:13]  Okay, because we're talking a lot about this and what happened in 1978.
[00:27:18]  You got to go back.
[00:27:19]  There's a lot of history there.
[00:27:20]  People don't know.
[00:27:20]  People don't know about Moshe.
[00:27:22]  But that they don't.
[00:27:23]  You know what a lot of people don't know?
[00:27:24]  Do you know that women got the right to vote in when?
[00:27:27]  Neither on or no, in America.
[00:27:30]  1929.
[00:27:31]  No?
[00:27:32]  No, it was later.
[00:27:33]  No, earlier.
[00:27:33]  No.
[00:27:34]  19?
[00:27:34]  Earlier.
[00:27:35]  19 or something?
[00:27:36]  1920.
[00:27:37]  20.
[00:27:38]  Okay.
[00:27:41]  We've been at war ever since.
[00:27:46]  Dee the point.
[00:27:49]  Let's just hear them out.
[00:27:50]  This is something interesting.
[00:27:51]  We've been at World War ever since.
[00:27:56]  They like to blame us, but there's not a lot of reflection.
[00:27:59]  There's no when they couldn't vote.
[00:28:01]  And I have a daughter.
[00:28:01]  I want her to be able to vote.
[00:28:03]  Okay, good.
[00:28:04]  Okay.
[00:28:05]  That's good.
[00:28:05]  I want that to happen.
[00:28:06]  We said, don't get political with it, but I'll let it's not political.
[00:28:09]  I'm not political at all.
[00:28:10]  I'm just going off the numbers.
[00:28:12]  I was shocked.
[00:28:13]  I thought women got the right to vote in the 1800s sometimes.
[00:28:16]  Okay.
[00:28:17]  1920.
[00:28:18]  When was World War I?
[00:28:19]  Well, we had the wrong 20, so we had like a good like 10 years of fun, right?
[00:28:24]  When they first started voting.
[00:28:25]  Yeah, yeah.
[00:28:25]  100%.
[00:28:26]  They had that like hippie liberation movement.
[00:28:28]  They're like, I could vote.
[00:28:28]  I could throw this pussy around.
[00:28:30]  Absolutely.
[00:28:30]  And it was crazy.
[00:28:31]  Flapping.
[00:28:32]  They were flapping.
[00:28:32]  The flappers were flapping.
[00:28:34]  Yeah.
[00:28:35]  Exactly.
[00:28:37]  Then just wars nonstop.
[00:28:39]  The never-ending wars.
[00:28:41]  What type of responsibility do we put on them for that?
[00:28:43]  Because before that, we only had one war to free you guys.
[00:28:48]  And then that's it, right?
[00:28:49]  Like, were there any more wars, even?
[00:28:52]  Can you name another one?
[00:28:53]  The revolution.
[00:28:54]  Revolution.
[00:28:55]  Revolution.
[00:28:55]  Yeah.
[00:28:56]  That doesn't count because we weren't us yet.
[00:28:57]  It's actually not a war.
[00:28:58]  It's a revolution.
[00:28:59]  It's a revolution, though.
[00:29:01]  Yeah.
[00:29:01]  Yeah.
[00:29:02]  That's a good point.
[00:29:02]  So then women can vote.
[00:29:05]  World War II kind of comes around.
[00:29:06]  World War I.
[00:29:07]  But World War I is like, what, 1914?
[00:29:09]  No.
[00:29:10]  It's kind of no, no.
[00:29:12]  It's Africa.
[00:29:14]  You break it as well.
[00:29:17]  Give us checks.
[00:29:18]  I was going to look when to fucking watch it.
[00:29:20]  Don't fall for the fucking propaganda, Mark.
[00:29:23]  Don't fall for the propaganda.
[00:29:25]  They want you to believe the war started before they could vote.
[00:29:27]  It wasn't even really officially a war until 1929.
[00:29:30]  The boys were just digging.
[00:29:31]  They were just digging.
[00:29:33]  They had the shovel.
[00:29:33]  They were making the honey butter.
[00:29:35]  Exactly.
[00:29:36]  Thank you.
[00:29:39]  How happy were they when they were just doing the digging part?
[00:29:41]  That must have been so.
[00:29:42]  Dude, it was the life.
[00:29:43]  You're out there with the boys and then in the earth.
[00:29:46]  And then women vote.
[00:29:47]  And all of a sudden, we're at war.
[00:29:49]  Yeah.
[00:29:50]  Okay.
[00:29:52]  Thank you so much, Joseph.
[00:29:54]  Everything you guys just said is off camera because we have three people in front of them all.
[00:29:58]  That's okay.
[00:29:59]  Okay.
[00:30:00]  We're locking back in.
[00:30:01]  Let's just see if we can create a through line for this argument.
[00:30:05]  Somebody get on a computer.
[00:30:06]  I'm on a computer.
[00:30:07]  When did World War I start?
[00:30:08]  1914.
[00:30:09]  Okay.
[00:30:09]  But America didn't get involved until.
[00:30:11]  Until when?
[00:30:13]  1917, I think.
[00:30:14]  Mark, shut up.
[00:30:16]  Go.
[00:30:18]  American entry into World War I, 1917.
[00:30:20]  Okay.
[00:30:21]  When was it like bad?
[00:30:22]  When did it vote?
[00:30:24]  When did it really start?
[00:30:26]  Yeah.
[00:30:27]  But when did it get bad for America?
[00:30:28]  That's the question.
[00:30:30]  It ended November 11th, 1918.
[00:30:34]  Women, also, when you Google what year.
[00:30:36]  Hold on one second.
[00:30:38]  Hold on one second.
[00:30:40]  Damn, show.
[00:30:41]  So technically, they didn't even vote us out at a war.
[00:30:44]  We did that.
[00:30:46]  They ended the war.
[00:30:48]  And we're like, there's no more wars.
[00:30:50]  We gave them the right to vote.
[00:30:52]  We're back in fucking war almost immediately afterwards.
[00:30:55]  Yeah.
[00:30:56]  And we haven't stopped being at war since.
[00:30:58]  I wonder if all the people coming home from World War I came home and their wives were like, let us vote.
[00:31:02]  And they were like, another war.
[00:31:04]  We let them play.
[00:31:05]  We let them play baseball, Mark.
[00:31:07]  You give them an inch.
[00:31:10]  We let them play baseball.
[00:31:11]  We were gone.
[00:31:12]  We're like, we need to watch someone play baseball.
[00:31:14]  They got out there, right?
[00:31:16]  Yeah.
[00:31:17]  Using dildos at first.
[00:31:20]  That's a thing a lot of people don't realize.
[00:31:22]  They were using vibrators and dildos because all the bats had to go to war.
[00:31:27]  Historically, can we Google that?
[00:31:29]  The first dildos were made of wood, so that worked out.
[00:31:31]  Let's get a picture of it.
[00:31:32]  You haven't seen those dildos from Cairo 4,000 years ago.
[00:31:37]  It's a wooden bat.
[00:31:38]  It's not a wooden bat.
[00:31:39]  It's a dildo shaved to Egyptian vaginas.
[00:31:43]  And it was made out of the elements that they had at the time.
[00:31:47]  It was a shovel.
[00:31:48]  Look at that shovel.
[00:31:49]  Look at that.
[00:31:49]  That's what they were playing baseball with.
[00:31:53]  Okay.
[00:31:54]  That's a Louisville slugger.
[00:31:57]  Golly.
[00:31:58]  Oh, my God.
[00:31:59]  Which side is that's that what your shit looks like now?
[00:32:05]  Al's get skinny at the bottom.
[00:32:07]  And then in the end, Al, is that literally how your shit looks?
[00:32:12]  Nah, it's not that crazy.
[00:32:14]  That's that is a little bit concerning, bro.
[00:32:18]  That is it.
[00:32:19]  Oh, that looks like your shit, bro.
[00:32:20]  How do you know?
[00:32:21]  Same color.
[00:32:23]  How do you know?
[00:32:26]  I'm doing some interesting.
[00:32:27]  Your dick looks like Alyssa Liu's hair.
[00:32:35]  Sorry.
[00:32:36]  Sorry.
[00:32:36]  No, I can't talk about Alyssa Lou.
[00:32:38]  She's a champion.
[00:32:39]  Yeah, she's a champion.
[00:32:39]  She's the goat.
[00:32:40]  Shout out to the bay.
[00:32:41]  Oh, yeah.
[00:32:42]  She wrapped the bay heavy.
[00:32:43]  I love the bay.
[00:32:44]  I love this.
[00:32:44]  We needed to counterbalance Eileen Goo's traitor ass, and we did it.
[00:32:47]  Do you think that she's a traitor?
[00:32:49]  Yes.
[00:32:49]  100%, right?
[00:32:50]  Yeah.
[00:32:51]  Oh, she's not.
[00:32:52]  She led the like, she was in San Francisco.
[00:32:53]  She fucking Chinese too.
[00:32:55]  She got that money because she got that bag.
[00:32:57]  That's the most American thing to do.
[00:32:59]  True.
[00:32:59]  She is.
[00:33:00]  She's a sellout, but everyone's a sellout.
[00:33:02]  That's the most American thing to do.
[00:33:04]  Mark, if you don't get your fucking fucking office, I swear.
[00:33:08]  I love it.
[00:33:09]  Get it on the street.
[00:33:10]  Pick a side.
[00:33:11]  Just the truth.
[00:33:12]  Pick a side.
[00:33:13]  If I'm me, then she's a sellout.
[00:33:15]  If I'm her, then I'm going to China.
[00:33:17]  Yeah.
[00:33:17]  But that's a baseball.
[00:33:18]  She's going to sell out.
[00:33:19]  Yeah, exactly.
[00:33:21]  I understand why she made the decision, but I'm allowed to say, okay, well, then I don't have to support you.
[00:33:25]  Yeah.
[00:33:26]  You're for the ops.
[00:33:27]  Yes.
[00:33:27]  I'm not personally upset at her, but I'm just like, Alyssa Liu is who I'm with.
[00:33:33]  If there was a Comedy Olympics, would you do it for Saudi Arabia?
[00:33:44]  Would you represent Saudi Arabia in the fucking Comedy Olympics, Mark?
[00:33:48]  I would, yeah.
[00:33:49]  Mark does have free choices here.
[00:33:51]  Yeah.
[00:33:51]  Born in France, French-Canadian parents, America.
[00:33:54]  I'd represent Canada.
[00:33:55]  Do you have an American citizenship?
[00:33:57]  Yes, I do.
[00:33:58]  How did you require that?
[00:33:59]  Yeah.
[00:33:59]  When I moved here, I was just an enforced, and then my parents applied for it.

=== Drink For Drink (03:48) ===

[00:34:04]  And then I got it.
[00:34:05]  They gave it to me.
[00:34:06]  I was on an 0-1.
[00:34:07]  No, no.
[00:34:08]  You can't be a person.
[00:34:09]  I didn't see him shoveling.
[00:34:10]  He only got two forms of ID.
[00:34:16]  I didn't see him shoveling.
[00:34:17]  Who wants Vino?
[00:34:17]  Do you want one?
[00:34:19]  Trading with Joey is a dangerous game.
[00:34:21]  Guys, we're just having a little Vino.
[00:34:23]  We're just talking about traders, okay?
[00:34:26]  You should go drink for drink with Joey Schultz.
[00:34:28]  You're going to have to.
[00:34:28]  Hey, once you start with me, it can be a problem.
[00:34:30]  I'm talking vials at Pastor.
[00:34:32]  Oh, no.
[00:34:33]  Is it that bad?
[00:34:34]  Well, we were celebrating the special, and then I think probably like nine or ten Guinnesses just sort of happened.
[00:34:39]  Oh, I wish we had Guinness.
[00:34:40]  Maybe we have somebody run out and get us some Guinness.
[00:34:43]  I love splits some G's.
[00:34:45]  Oh, my God.
[00:34:46]  I love a Guinness.
[00:34:47]  Did you know the first thing in my system?
[00:34:49]  Do I know what Splitting G's is?
[00:34:51]  Yes.
[00:34:51]  What is it?
[00:34:52]  It's where on the first pour, if the foam splits the G, you win it.
[00:34:56]  Nope.
[00:34:56]  No, on the first drink.
[00:34:57]  Sorry, on the first drink.
[00:34:58]  On the first drink.
[00:34:59]  Okay.
[00:34:59]  Yes.
[00:35:00]  Yeah.
[00:35:00]  I think you give it to him.
[00:35:01]  It's a brilliant, like, accidental marketing play by Guinness because it has Guinness on the mind.
[00:35:06]  People are drinking it and they're drinking it faster.
[00:35:08]  Yeah.
[00:35:09]  So when you start splitting G's, you're just chugging half of it to start.
[00:35:12]  And then you end up drinking 10 and then Miles hung over on Monday.
[00:35:16]  Miles, you couldn't hang, dude.
[00:35:18]  Well, dude, we were doing beers and then they just kept going, yo, you want a Ferrari shot?
[00:35:22]  And I was like, sure.
[00:35:23]  And then those were coming out heavy.
[00:35:25]  Fournette and Kampari.
[00:35:27]  You've been into that.
[00:35:28]  I like the Kampari.
[00:35:29]  I don't know how the Fournette works in there.
[00:35:31]  It works.
[00:35:32]  Really?
[00:35:32]  It's like cough syrup.
[00:35:33]  Yeah, I mean, it depends on what you're into.
[00:35:35]  Look, both things taste like shit, but you put them together and it still kind of tastes like shit.
[00:35:40]  You like the drink?
[00:35:41]  Yeah, I like the drink.
[00:35:42]  The drink is a good thing.
[00:35:43]  Yeah.
[00:35:43]  You got to be able to drink.
[00:35:44]  It's within reason.
[00:35:45]  You can't, you know.
[00:35:46]  What's within reason?
[00:35:47]  Well, you can, it's, I remember like during COVID, I was really into drinking.
[00:35:52]  I was doing it just more nights a week than I should.
[00:35:54]  Which is how many nights?
[00:35:55]  I was probably doing it about.
[00:35:57]  Yeah.
[00:35:57]  When COVID first hit, it was like a team sleepover, and I was just drinking like seven nights a week on Zoom with my friends.
[00:36:03]  And then I was like, why am I fat and angry?
[00:36:05]  And it was the alcohol.
[00:36:06]  So you got to like a couple nights a week, but I do it every week.
[00:36:10]  You only get it.
[00:36:11]  I do it every week.
[00:36:14]  I never miss a week of drinking.
[00:36:16]  Can you get the dildos off the screen?
[00:36:18]  Because I can't concentrate.
[00:36:20]  Everyone is built with a curve, and I'm starting to feel insecure about my stray dick.
[00:36:23]  I thought you curved.
[00:36:25]  No, I don't.
[00:36:25]  Oh.
[00:36:26]  Do you guys curve?
[00:36:27]  No.
[00:36:28]  You wouldn't even know.
[00:36:29]  Your shit is all fucking close.
[00:36:30]  It's under wraps.
[00:36:32]  Do you curve?
[00:36:34]  Your dicks are in Iran.
[00:36:37]  They're covered up.
[00:36:39]  Thanks, Miles.
[00:36:45]  Miles, I love you.
[00:36:48]  We should have given you more.
[00:36:49]  All right, guys.
[00:36:50]  Let's take a break for a second.
[00:36:52]  Your sleep sucks.
[00:36:53]  When your sleep sucks, everything sucks.
[00:36:55]  Okay.
[00:36:55]  Your mood, your focus, your workouts, your patience, all of it.
[00:36:59]  And we love to pretend it's normal.
[00:37:01]  I just don't need that much sleep.
[00:37:03]  Yes, you do.
[00:37:04]  I'll catch up this weekend.
[00:37:06]  No, you won't.
[00:37:07]  That's not a flex.
[00:37:09]  This is a liability.
[00:37:10]  You cannot outwork bad sleep.
[00:37:11]  You cannot caffeine your way through real recovery.
[00:37:14]  If your body isn't repairing at night, you are running on fumes and disguising it as ambition.
[00:37:23]  Sleep is not just ours.
[00:37:25]  It's hormones.
[00:37:26]  It's stress.
[00:37:27]  It's inflammation.
[00:37:28]  It's what's actually happening under the surface.
[00:37:31]  Guessing isn't going to cut it.
[00:37:34]  And that's why I use function.
[00:37:36]  160 plus biomarkers.
[00:37:39]  You can see what poor sleep is doing to your body and fix the real problem.
[00:37:43]  And between us, boys, there's a little friendly challenge in the works, a bio age competition.
[00:37:50]  Dove already did his.

=== Sleep Is Not A Flex (09:36) ===

[00:37:53]  He's talking big.
[00:37:54]  Mark, Alex, they're circling.
[00:37:57]  Yep.
[00:37:58]  Waiting for their turn.
[00:38:00]  Are we going to let Alex do it?
[00:38:01]  Probably not.
[00:38:02]  Wait, why not?
[00:38:03]  They age a little better.
[00:38:06]  Sure.
[00:38:07]  You know, at least on the outside.
[00:38:10]  So right now, you go to functionalhealth.com/slash flagrant.
[00:38:12]  Get function for less than a dollar a day using our code flagrant.
[00:38:17]  Check your health.
[00:38:19]  You are welcome.
[00:38:21]  Also, what is the over and under on Dove's age?
[00:38:25]  What is the over or under on Dove's age?
[00:38:28]  45.
[00:38:30]  I think he's, I think he's, I think he's significantly over.
[00:38:33]  You take the over on 45?
[00:38:35]  No, no, no, no.
[00:38:36]  If he's 42 years old, I'm with you on 45.
[00:38:39]  Oh, God.
[00:38:39]  Yeah.
[00:38:40]  I don't think he's coming under 42.
[00:38:42]  No, not after the conversation you guys just had.
[00:38:45]  No, I got him stressing.
[00:38:46]  Yeah, yeah.
[00:38:47]  Second he comes in the office.
[00:38:48]  I get him stressed.
[00:38:49]  You're adding yours.
[00:38:50]  100%.
[00:38:51]  He's unbuttoning that cardigan.
[00:38:52]  Tits flopping in that fucking white tee.
[00:38:57]  Anyway, guys, it's a new year, new routines.
[00:39:04]  But have you ever stopped to think about what your shower water is doing to your skin and hair?
[00:39:09]  Most people, most people spend thousands every year on skincare, hair care, trying to fix dryness, breakouts, dull hair without realizing the real problem starts before the products even go on.
[00:39:27]  It's the quality of your shower water.
[00:39:29]  And that's where Jolie comes in.
[00:39:31]  Jolie, it's a beauty wellness company with a clinically proven filter shower head designed to remove chlorine and heavy metals that can damage your skin and hair.
[00:39:43]  They will destroy it and you don't even realize it.
[00:39:46]  It installs in minutes, fits all showers, looks fantastic, delivers amazing pressure, and now starts at just $98.
[00:39:57]  A small upgrade that can make a big difference in how your skin and hair feel all year long.
[00:40:03]  Head to Jolie'skinco.com.
[00:40:05]  That is J-O-L-I-E-S-K-I-N-C-O.com slash flagrant to get yours.
[00:40:12]  That is Jolie's skincoat.com slash flagrant.
[00:40:15]  And if you or your loved one doesn't love it, you can return it for a full refund within 60 days.
[00:40:21]  No questions asked.
[00:40:22]  Also available on Amazon.
[00:40:23]  Start the year with better water.
[00:40:25]  Get Jolie for $98 today.
[00:40:28]  Now let's get back to the show.
[00:40:30]  Before we get back to the show, there's one more company that I want to shout out.
[00:40:33]  This is on the house.
[00:40:34]  Okay.
[00:40:35]  My boy's over at Neuro, taking over the world.
[00:40:38]  This right here.
[00:40:39]  And I know that right now, by the way.
[00:40:41]  They're showing the house.
[00:40:43]  Absolutely unbelievable.
[00:40:44]  I mean, where's my cam?
[00:40:45]  That one or this one?
[00:40:48]  This shit is crazy.
[00:40:49]  Okay.
[00:40:49]  I don't think I've slept in the last like year.
[00:40:53]  And it's building up.
[00:40:54]  I think that's the newborn.
[00:40:55]  This is the newborn.
[00:40:56]  But this right here is allowing me to get through it.
[00:40:58]  So thank you for helping me be a better dad.
[00:41:01]  I saw Katie Perry posting about this the other day.
[00:41:03]  And I hit them up.
[00:41:04]  I was like, yo, you got Katie Perry?
[00:41:05]  She's like, no, they were like, no, she was just doing it for the strength.
[00:41:08]  Oh, really?
[00:41:08]  Wow.
[00:41:09]  Didn't they also make you pro and paddle?
[00:41:11]  They also made it professional and paddle.
[00:41:13]  But that's why I feel that I need to be back.
[00:41:15]  If Katie's giving them free promo, it's like, we also got to be running it up.
[00:41:18]  She's an astronaut.
[00:41:19]  She's been to space.
[00:41:21]  That's a good point.
[00:41:21]  Astronauts are using this.
[00:41:23]  Real astronauts are using this right here.
[00:41:27]  What do you do with your day that's so valuable to you that you wouldn't want to?
[00:41:33]  I feel like she's more of a titstronaut.
[00:41:38]  He's on the Neuro.
[00:41:39]  Do you have a Neuro in?
[00:41:40]  I just finished.
[00:41:41]  Oh, yeah.
[00:41:42]  That's what happens when your Neuro is coming online.
[00:41:45]  I didn't even put that together.
[00:41:47]  Astronauts, titstronaut, genius.
[00:41:51]  With all due respect to Orlando.
[00:41:53]  Orlando Bloom, great guy.
[00:41:54]  Great.
[00:41:56]  She's been the prime minister of Canada.
[00:41:59]  Yeah, but that's his old work.
[00:42:00]  They got kids.
[00:42:02]  You know what I mean?
[00:42:03]  Orlando's a good guy, bro.
[00:42:05]  Come on.
[00:42:05]  You got to respect.
[00:42:06]  You wouldn't know, but you got to respect old work, bro.
[00:42:11]  You wouldn't know, but you've got to.
[00:42:12]  We've always put respect on old work.
[00:42:15]  Facts.
[00:42:17]  Lock in right here.
[00:42:19]  This is Katie Perry knows what's up.
[00:42:23]  What's the guy from Canada's name again?
[00:42:25]  Justin Trudeau.
[00:42:26]  Justin Trudeau.
[00:42:27]  Yep.
[00:42:28]  He's probably getting some.
[00:42:29]  Secondhand.
[00:42:31]  Probably, I assume.
[00:42:32]  From what?
[00:42:33]  From Katie.
[00:42:34]  This shit doesn't go through to urethra.
[00:42:38]  With all due respect.
[00:42:40]  With all due respect.
[00:42:41]  That's not how it works, bro.
[00:42:43]  If that's what you were implying, which is fucking disgusting.
[00:42:46]  Talk about somebody's gum like that.
[00:42:48]  Somebody's ex-wife.
[00:42:49]  You can take a picture of Justin Trudeau and Katie Perry.
[00:42:50]  If they're making out.
[00:42:51]  We're not doing that.
[00:42:52]  You might get a second.
[00:42:53]  We're not doing that.
[00:42:54]  This is NeuroGum.
[00:42:55]  Shout out Neuro, Neuro to Boys.
[00:42:57]  Keep crushing it.
[00:42:58]  Okay, we're glad you got back from Dubai.
[00:43:00]  We saw you out there.
[00:43:01]  I was nervous.
[00:43:01]  I had to text them, make sure they got back.
[00:43:03]  So, this is phenomenal.
[00:43:06]  We love y'all and keep crushing it.
[00:43:08]  And thank you for allowing me to be a good parent.
[00:43:10]  Can we get back to the show finally?
[00:43:11]  Please.
[00:43:11]  Thank you.
[00:43:12]  Finally.
[00:43:13]  Mark said his dick didn't curve in a way that makes me think his dick curves.
[00:43:16]  Mark said his dick curves like Ben Shapiro's eyebrows.
[00:43:21]  Is this real or AI?
[00:43:22]  No, it's got to be AI.
[00:43:23]  Nah, that's real, dude.
[00:43:24]  Come on.
[00:43:24]  100% real.
[00:43:25]  Pull it up.
[00:43:26]  There's no way.
[00:43:27]  I just saw one tweet about it that my mom's been talking about it non-stop.
[00:43:29]  Well, what does she say that the truth of it is?
[00:43:31]  She says that that's going to be his curls.
[00:43:34]  That's the word they're going to grow for.
[00:43:36]  The pay is going to grow.
[00:43:38]  That's not true.
[00:43:39]  This is not real.
[00:43:40]  It's a really funny piece of internet work, though.
[00:43:42]  I mean, if he's leaning in, it's hilarious.
[00:43:44]  Like, if I was him, I would bush the fuck out of them.
[00:43:48]  Yeah, he should just do his show with them on.
[00:43:50]  But I think I saw someone compare the two videos, and it's not real.
[00:43:54]  But I like it, though.
[00:43:55]  It's the right thing to do, though, with his face.
[00:43:57]  Yeah.
[00:43:58]  Meaning.
[00:43:59]  Well, it's just the funniest possible thing, and it's just believable enough that we can have a dialogue.
[00:44:03]  And it's like, his eyebrows are getting crazy.
[00:44:06]  Like, I believed it.
[00:44:07]  I was like, damn, he's really switched up.
[00:44:10]  Does this count as political conversation?
[00:44:12]  Ooh, food's getting a little.
[00:44:13]  Miles, anytime we talk about politics.
[00:44:16]  Yeah.
[00:44:17]  This is hilarious.
[00:44:18]  Nah, that's insane.
[00:44:19]  I've anytime we talk about politics.
[00:44:22]  I want you to put a charity that we support on the screen, a huge banner.
[00:44:27]  Okay.
[00:44:27]  So if we do get clipped throughout the internet, it at least goes to a good cause.
[00:44:31]  Black Lives Matter.
[00:44:32]  Okay.
[00:44:32]  So we could do the Food Bank of New York.
[00:44:34]  We can Baby Quest, which is the IVF charity that I support.
[00:44:37]  So there's a couple of those and just a huge banner right across it.
[00:44:40]  Black Lives Matter.
[00:44:41]  Doesn't this incense?
[00:44:42]  We're not doing Black Lives Matter.
[00:44:43]  Come on.
[00:44:44]  Black lesbians need some houses, bro.
[00:44:46]  This is true.
[00:44:48]  It's true.
[00:44:49]  Come on.
[00:44:51]  Yeah.
[00:44:51]  Is that even still going?
[00:44:53]  Nah.
[00:44:54]  They stopped it.
[00:44:54]  They killed it.
[00:44:55]  100%.
[00:44:57]  It's still going, but no one really supports it.
[00:44:59]  It's unfortunate.
[00:45:01]  Still my Wi-Fi password, though.
[00:45:02]  Is it?
[00:45:03]  Yeah.
[00:45:05]  Yeah.
[00:45:06]  How do you say it?
[00:45:07]  You just all these people would stare at him.
[00:45:10]  Say it out loud when you type it.
[00:45:12]  That is kind of funny that if somebody's going to steal your Wi-Fi, they have to type in Black Lives Matter.
[00:45:16]  Yeah, it is funny.
[00:45:18]  You have to decide if you're racist or if you want Wi-Fi.
[00:45:21]  It's Wi-Fi every single time.
[00:45:23]  All right.
[00:45:24]  Yeah, this is insane.
[00:45:25]  You want the charity because you're afraid of getting clipped up?
[00:45:28]  You don't want to get clipped everything you say?
[00:45:30]  No, no, I want the clipping to promote something.
[00:45:32]  There's nothing we can do to stop us from getting clipped, no matter what we say.
[00:45:36]  So if you are going to clip us and do videos about it, at least we can both together support some really great causes.
[00:45:42]  I like that.
[00:45:43]  Yeah.
[00:45:43]  I love that.
[00:45:44]  Because I don't care about supporting the causes of the shows clipping us because I don't know what their causes are.
[00:45:50]  Right.
[00:45:50]  Maybe I do care.
[00:45:51]  Maybe I don't.
[00:45:52]  But if we are going to be mind for views, then we should at least support some good causes.
[00:45:57]  I like that.
[00:45:57]  Isn't that good?
[00:45:58]  Everybody wins.
[00:45:59]  Yeah.
[00:45:59]  And then if you stop clipping us, it means you don't support children being born through IVF or you don't support people struggling to eat in New York.
[00:46:06]  So if anything, maybe you would inspire more people to talk about us.
[00:46:09]  But if it goes down, what are you prioritizing?
[00:46:12]  Yeah, exactly.
[00:46:13]  I love this.
[00:46:14]  What is going on here?
[00:46:15]  More people should do this.
[00:46:17]  More people should do this.
[00:46:18]  You've been plotting, dude.
[00:46:19]  I'm not playing.
[00:46:21]  Who are the most clipped on the internet?
[00:46:23]  You should just have a banner running for your favorite charity during it.
[00:46:26]  Yeah.
[00:46:26]  Right?
[00:46:27]  Yeah.
[00:46:27]  That's kind of genius.
[00:46:28]  It's a good idea.
[00:46:29]  So, which charity should we do?
[00:46:31]  I mean, Tucker is a great charity.
[00:46:36]  Hold on.
[00:46:37]  Get a banner ready.
[00:46:41]  Yeah.
[00:46:42]  His isn't IVF.
[00:46:43]  I think it's IDF.
[00:46:45]  No, no, he would never support that.
[00:46:47]  He would never support it.
[00:46:48]  Okay.
[00:46:49]  All right.
[00:46:49]  What else is going on in the world, guys?
[00:46:50]  I mean, do you want to go through some Reddit hypotheticals?
[00:46:54]  Oh, I guess that's a milk.
[00:46:57]  They got your answer, right?
[00:46:59]  Panic attack right there.
[00:47:01]  Yeah, yeah, sure.
[00:47:02]  Let's go.
[00:47:02]  He's like, you didn't say Iran?
[00:47:05]  I mean, considering that you went to college.
[00:47:08]  I did.
[00:47:09]  What was your degree in college?
[00:47:11]  I don't know.
[00:47:12]  Psychology.
[00:47:13]  Yeah.
[00:47:14]  Vibes, surfing.
[00:47:16]  I don't know.
[00:47:17]  Psychology.
[00:47:18]  Yeah.
[00:47:18]  Psychology.
[00:47:19]  Psychology.
[00:47:19]  Psych.
[00:47:19]  I was a psych.
[00:47:20]  Yeah.
[00:47:20]  So you're good at psychology.
[00:47:22]  Yeah.
[00:47:22]  Psychologizing people.
[00:47:24]  Sure.
[00:47:24]  Situations, theories, getting to the bottom of stuff.
[00:47:27]  Let's see.
[00:47:27]  Maybe.

=== Dog Barking And Cocaine (14:30) ===

[00:47:29]  I might be a little, what's it called?
[00:47:30]  Rusty.
[00:47:31]  Okay.
[00:47:31]  So these are just some hypotheticals we're going to pull up.
[00:47:33]  Here, click on the am I the asshole, the bottom one.
[00:47:37]  And I'm just curious your take if you can adjudicate this as a psychologist and really try to break down what's going on.
[00:47:42]  Okay.
[00:47:42]  So this one is basically saying, am I an asshole for telling my neighbor it's not my problem that her newborn wakes up to noises coming from my apartment?
[00:47:49]  This is a great question.
[00:47:50]  So in short, this is a great question.
[00:47:53]  This is a person.
[00:47:54]  Can we give credit to the person that asked this question?
[00:47:57]  Black Swan NYC.
[00:47:58]  This is a great question.
[00:47:59]  One of our neighbors probably here in the city.
[00:48:01]  Yes.
[00:48:01]  This person says, I just moved into a one-bedroom apartment.
[00:48:03]  It's been vacant for a while.
[00:48:04]  The unit's great and I really like it.
[00:48:06]  I have a two-year-old golden doodle who will occasionally bark when he hears something outside the door or in the hallway.
[00:48:11]  And I work from home and I'm almost always there.
[00:48:13]  So I correct the behavior.
[00:48:14]  And it's usually just a couple of alert barks.
[00:48:16]  Tonight at 7 p.m., I'm having dinner with my sisters.
[00:48:19]  When my neighbor knocks on the door, she tells me that my dog's constant barking has been disturbing her newborn sleep and that this has apparently been going on for weeks.
[00:48:27]  She also said that she has two dogs and she educated them not to bark.
[00:48:30]  So I should be able to do the same with my dog.
[00:48:32]  The thing is, I like my dog wasn't even barking that much when she knocks on the door.
[00:48:36]  And I honestly don't believe that he's barking constantly since I work from home.
[00:48:39]  I would notice if he was.
[00:48:41]  I can hear her baby crying through the walls quite often and I've never complained about it just because a part of apartment living.
[00:48:46]  Babies cry, dogs bark.
[00:48:48]  Am I the asshole?
[00:48:52]  Honestly, it was too long.
[00:48:53]  The question was too long.
[00:48:56]  It was a little long.
[00:48:57]  And I got, I need a cup for that.
[00:48:59]  I need a cup and I need a cup bad.
[00:49:00]  I need like a pint glass.
[00:49:02]  I cannot drink a Guinness out of a can.
[00:49:04]  I need a cup.
[00:49:04]  But thank you.
[00:49:06]  So can you just consolidate that?
[00:49:08]  First of all, great question.
[00:49:09]  Two-wording.
[00:49:10]  You can last fucking camping right now.
[00:49:13]  I can't drink a sandpawn.
[00:49:17]  He's right about the can.
[00:49:17]  I am right about the can drinking.
[00:49:19]  Where did you go?
[00:49:20]  Where did you go?
[00:49:20]  Because with Star, you said, this is a great question that I started reading it.
[00:49:23]  And then you went somewhere else.
[00:49:24]  You started like acting out his question.
[00:49:27]  You wouldn't do it too much.
[00:49:28]  I was trying to have a start as well.
[00:49:30]  Say what?
[00:49:31]  I went elsewhere.
[00:49:33]  You started pantomiming how he was in the situation.
[00:49:36]  You're like, I just have a golden dude.
[00:49:40]  I wasn't listening to what you were saying.
[00:49:41]  I was just like, why don't you get so gay?
[00:49:43]  I was adding some spice for the audience at home.
[00:49:46]  That way they felt like, wow, this is like a novella.
[00:49:49]  Can you just consolidate for me?
[00:49:51]  This girl has a dog.
[00:49:52]  The dog barks.
[00:49:54]  And the neighbor was a bitch about it.
[00:49:55]  The neighbor was like, I taught my dogs not to bark.
[00:49:58]  Why don't you do this with your dog?
[00:49:59]  Yeah.
[00:49:59]  And the dog's waking up my baby.
[00:50:01]  They don't, in my experience, you can't teach a dog not to bark.
[00:50:06]  Okay, well, that's.
[00:50:08]  I think it's the wrong starting.
[00:50:10]  It's like having a dog is accepting barking.
[00:50:13]  Yeah, thank you.
[00:50:15]  Having a child is accepting crying.
[00:50:17]  Like there's nothing you can do to teach a dog how to not bark.
[00:50:21]  And I've tried most things, legal and illegal.
[00:50:23]  Okay.
[00:50:23]  And well, you have a golden doodle.
[00:50:26]  Yeah.
[00:50:27]  And your golden doodle barks.
[00:50:30]  Yeah.
[00:50:32]  He wakes the baby up.
[00:50:33]  Remember the infants?
[00:50:34]  We come back from the bar and Schultz would go, we all have to enter different doors.
[00:50:38]  Yeah.
[00:50:39]  You got to confuse it.
[00:50:40]  You have to confuse it.
[00:50:43]  Dude, this dog, it barks preemptively.
[00:50:46]  Like it hears the elevator and it starts barking.
[00:50:48]  That's what it's supposed to do.
[00:50:49]  Yeah.
[00:50:50]  But you could train it not to.
[00:50:51]  I don't think you can.
[00:50:53]  It's a dog.
[00:50:54]  Yeah, that's what they're fucking there for.
[00:50:55]  Yeah, dogs bark.
[00:50:56]  You can train dogs not to bark.
[00:50:57]  No, you can't.
[00:50:58]  No, no, no, no.
[00:50:59]  This girl has two dogs and she can't both.
[00:51:00]  She can train a dog not to bark.
[00:51:01]  She doesn't have two.
[00:51:03]  This girl's a liar.
[00:51:04]  Like, there's nobody who has two dogs that both don't know how to bark.
[00:51:08]  It's just not like humanly possible.
[00:51:10]  Like, that's like training a wife not to talk.
[00:51:12]  I've been trying.
[00:51:12]  It doesn't work.
[00:51:13]  Al, you're a misogynist.
[00:51:16]  And if we were able to do that in 1920, we wouldn't be a war for the last 20 years.
[00:51:20]  Once they started voting, we would be a war for 100 fucking years if we were voting and started talking.
[00:51:26]  Fuck.
[00:51:27]  That's can we at least call him out for being misogynistic?
[00:51:29]  Yeah, he's a fucking misogynist, dude.
[00:51:31]  What do you mean?
[00:51:32]  No, you're misogynist.
[00:51:33]  Okay.
[00:51:34]  But with this, I mean, do you think barking like if the dog is barking, is it the owner's fault?
[00:51:42]  And should she do something to stop it?
[00:51:43]  Mark, once you live in a building that allows dogs, it's like living in a building with like Caribbean people.
[00:51:54]  There's going to be noises when you don't want it.
[00:51:59]  And this is just what we accept.
[00:52:00]  It's like, if you can't be like the white person that moves to fucking, you know, 116th and like goes, oh, wow, there's, there's bachata music playing in my building.
[00:52:11]  It's like, you chose to do that.
[00:52:13]  That was your choice to move into the neighborhood where the music is playing late.
[00:52:16]  You don't get to complain.
[00:52:18]  See, but then he moved it.
[00:52:20]  Well, some people moved into Williamsburg and kicked out all the Puerto Ricans.
[00:52:23]  So maybe you can.
[00:52:25]  But you need a critical mass.
[00:52:27]  Yeah.
[00:52:28]  You can't partially gentrify.
[00:52:30]  You got to do it.
[00:52:31]  Did you?
[00:52:31]  Did you?
[00:52:35]  We're talking politics again.
[00:52:36]  Get it on the screen.
[00:52:38]  Get it on the screen.
[00:52:39]  Sounds like we're being political again.
[00:52:41]  Get it on the screen.
[00:52:42]  Not what I meant.
[00:52:43]  Okay.
[00:52:44]  We know what you're doing.
[00:52:46]  No, I'm not.
[00:52:46]  Okay.
[00:52:47]  You're sliding those liberal San Francisco politics into this podcast.
[00:52:50]  Okay.
[00:52:52]  Now, do you know for a fact that you moved a Puerto Rican family out of the home that you live in right now?
[00:52:57]  No, I don't think we did.
[00:52:58]  I don't know who lived there before.
[00:52:59]  Actually, no, I do know because we collect their mail and we give it to them once a week.
[00:53:03]  Just a regular white girl.
[00:53:04]  Regular white girl.
[00:53:05]  Yeah.
[00:53:05]  Okay.
[00:53:06]  So I don't think you're responsible for it.
[00:53:08]  I just think if your building allows dogs, there's going to be noise.
[00:53:11]  I had a neighbor that was an influencer, and she would throw parties really late while we had a newborn.
[00:53:17]  That seems inappropriate.
[00:53:18]  Very inappropriate.
[00:53:19]  I would call down.
[00:53:21]  I'll call down.
[00:53:22]  To the front.
[00:53:23]  I'll call down to the front.
[00:53:24]  Okay.
[00:53:24]  I was like, I think there's a r happening.
[00:53:28]  Isaiah, I think there's a girl screaming.
[00:53:30]  No, can you please go check on this?
[00:53:32]  And they would call up.
[00:53:33]  Police?
[00:53:33]  Say again?
[00:53:34]  Wouldn't you call the police?
[00:53:35]  No, no, it wasn't actually a r, but I needed to, I need it to be severe enough where they started the front.
[00:53:40]  You saw a farmer's stop test right there.
[00:53:41]  Yeah, exactly.
[00:53:42]  And I would do anything in my power to stop the party from happening, and it never worked.
[00:53:46]  It's just what it was.
[00:53:47]  We had a newborn baby.
[00:53:48]  I would go there with the crying baby to like, you know, impose some guilt.
[00:53:52]  Cocaine, just if there's no guilt that gets through cocaine.
[00:53:56]  Yeah.
[00:53:57]  Shout out cocaine for that reason.
[00:54:00]  But my point is that, like, there's nothing you can do about these things.
[00:54:03]  It sucks.
[00:54:04]  I empathize.
[00:54:06]  But it's a dog.
[00:54:06]  A dog is going to bark.
[00:54:08]  Yeah.
[00:54:09]  Wait, but was that girl an asshole?
[00:54:12]  She was sweet, but she was very inconsiderate.
[00:54:16]  So bad.
[00:54:16]  Cocaine.
[00:54:17]  This person is an asshole.
[00:54:20]  But the dog is different.
[00:54:21]  You can't control the dog.
[00:54:22]  You can control not having a party until 4 a.m. and blasting music with your friends all coked up.
[00:54:26]  Cocaine.
[00:54:28]  It's hard to control a bad thing.
[00:54:29]  Turns a lot of people adults.
[00:54:33]  Now, you have.
[00:54:35]  Do you do cocaine?
[00:54:43]  Do you do cooking?
[00:54:44]  Have I in my illustrious career being a fun guy?
[00:54:48]  Yes, I have.
[00:54:49]  Will I ever do it again in my life?
[00:54:52]  A bit, but I would not say that I do cocaine.
[00:54:55]  But, like, that's a yes.
[00:54:56]  Yeah, like, no, no, because there's people who are like into it.
[00:54:59]  I actually, I think it's a very overrated drug.
[00:55:02]  You just said, I have and I will.
[00:55:03]  I've just done it because I've been trying to party for more hours.
[00:55:08]  How?
[00:55:08]  Yeah, that's true.
[00:55:13]  Some people like working out.
[00:55:18]  I'm just trying to be skinny.
[00:55:20]  Okay, so you're okay.
[00:55:23]  But if some, if one of us had cocaine here, would you do it?
[00:55:26]  I would not do it.
[00:55:27]  Never?
[00:55:28]  What do you mean?
[00:55:29]  Well, not never.
[00:55:30]  Have a couple of beers.
[00:55:30]  Let's talk about it.
[00:55:31]  All right.
[00:55:32]  I'll put it to you this way.
[00:55:33]  I would not do it.
[00:55:36]  Although, Schultz, if you were like, dude, we got to have a Coke night.
[00:55:41]  I'd be like, Schultz wants to do a Coke night.
[00:55:43]  I could saddle up for another ride.
[00:55:44]  We're at Burning Man.
[00:55:45]  Yeah.
[00:55:47]  In Burning Man, I would say it's a strategic play because I actually know it's about drugs when we do about war.
[00:55:59]  It's like, ah, we're going to stop China.
[00:56:03]  We're going to do whatever we can.
[00:56:04]  It's 40 chess.
[00:56:05]  I think it could hurt you.
[00:56:06]  Like, if we're on, if we're in the middle of it, it's like the hangover off that is like worse than anything else.
[00:56:11]  So, like, I don't know if I would do it early in Burning Man, but if it was like the last night and we needed a little extra gas in the tank and we felt like it was decent stuff, I might do a little choot.
[00:56:22]  But again, I don't think it's a good thing to do.
[00:56:24]  I don't support it.
[00:56:27]  I think I'm talking about Coke drugs without like the fucking Russian mobster.
[00:56:32]  Do you do you do Coco?
[00:56:34]  Nah, I'm black.
[00:56:35]  But there was a time.
[00:56:36]  Black people don't do Coke or admit to doing Coke.
[00:56:40]  Do you crack?
[00:56:43]  That was bad.
[00:56:45]  But it was a joke I thought about and decided not to.
[00:56:50]  Yeah, I don't know.
[00:56:51]  I've never the Fed.
[00:56:52]  The Fed scares me, dog.
[00:56:54]  But even before the Fent, did you do Coke?
[00:56:56]  No, but I've never lived before the Fent.
[00:56:58]  I was born in the Finn.
[00:56:59]  That was the horn in this shit.
[00:57:01]  That's all I've ever known.
[00:57:02]  No, I like I got to college in 2015.
[00:57:04]  And by that point, it was already like, I think Mac Miller had died.
[00:57:07]  Oh, it was already like, what's it worth?
[00:57:10]  You know, yeah, I think it was the dumbest way to die.
[00:57:13]  Like that, and now it's back up because people younger than him, they're all in on yeah, they're all they just do it every weekend.
[00:57:20]  Like they're back in, it's regular now.
[00:57:21]  It's one of the least fun ones, though.
[00:57:23]  Cause like you get a little energy, but you get a little anxiety and you want to die the next day.
[00:57:27]  Like it's oh, the hangover is crazy.
[00:57:29]  I've done it once.
[00:57:31]  I put on my gums once and then I did it at Burning Man once and I got it.
[00:57:36]  At Burning Man, I was like, oh, I get this.
[00:57:38]  This is the perfect thing to extend the night, as you were saying.
[00:57:41]  Yeah.
[00:57:42]  But the next day, fuck.
[00:57:46]  What goes up must come down.
[00:57:47]  That is true.
[00:57:48]  There is a reality to all these things.
[00:57:49]  I mean, like, even I, in my heyday, you know, absolutely loved Molly.
[00:57:54]  You know, it's incredible.
[00:57:55]  And I still do, but I just can't deploy it very much because it'll kill you for like four days.
[00:58:00]  Can I give you an honest feeling on Molly?
[00:58:03]  Yes.
[00:58:04]  Because there are some people that might be at the office that will remain nameless that are like, oh, I just want the pure MDMA.
[00:58:09]  You're gay.
[00:58:11]  I want the fucking pill of ecstasy.
[00:58:15]  That has all the other crazy shit.
[00:58:18]  Not fentanyl, but whatever else is in there.
[00:58:21]  Oh my God.
[00:58:22]  What I would do, what I would do if I knew we had 24 hours.
[00:58:28]  Just double.
[00:58:30]  We had some dough, some honey, a shovel, a shovel, and a bag of sands.
[00:58:37]  Oh, dude.
[00:58:38]  I did Coachella like 11 years in a row and stuff like that.
[00:58:42]  Eight or nine straight.
[00:58:44]  We might get to, you know what?
[00:58:46]  We need honey butter.
[00:58:47]  The nicest population.
[00:58:49]  The nicest thing about ecstasy is that, like, you don't get horny, at least for me, you get like lovey.
[00:58:55]  Yeah, so it kind of protects you in a relationship.
[00:58:58]  Coke, I feel like you could make some erratic decisions.
[00:59:01]  I don't know for a fact, but I imagine alcohol, even you get too fucked up, you know, shit gets a little crazy.
[00:59:07]  Crazy, ecstasy, you're like, yo, let's just talk about how great we all are.
[00:59:11]  Yeah, yeah, that's the mixing of it.
[00:59:13]  Because usually, if I'm doing those drugs, there's a lot of alcohol also.
[00:59:17]  Yeah, you got to have a little alcohol or a little adder all too.
[00:59:20]  Yes, yeah.
[00:59:21]  Yeah.
[00:59:21]  But then once that pill hits, once that fucking Tesla hits, ecstasy makes my dick stop working completely.
[00:59:28]  Really?
[00:59:29]  I remember I went down for about three hours just trying to get it up.
[00:59:33]  You went down a girl for three hours.
[00:59:37]  That's a lot of pussy.
[00:59:38]  I was wired, bro.
[00:59:39]  That's a buffet.
[00:59:40]  I was wired.
[00:59:43]  Just waiting for it to get up.
[00:59:45]  I'm like, you're not literally eaten five minutes.
[00:59:49]  No, that's insane.
[00:59:50]  Yeah.
[00:59:51]  I'm like, did you enjoy that high off the ecstasy?
[00:59:54]  Yeah, because it's like you're just in this blissful state.
[00:59:57]  It's like, oh, I'll do this forever.
[01:00:01]  You just were lost in the pussy.
[01:00:03]  I swear to God.
[01:00:04]  That's kind of beautiful.
[01:00:05]  I want to talk too much to you, pussy.
[01:00:07]  I'd be coming up like, what do we think about what a great scene?
[01:00:12]  Yeah, Private Ryan was incredible.
[01:00:15]  If you did both, it'd probably feel amazing.
[01:00:17]  If you're just like, oh my God, we ain't doing that.
[01:00:20]  Just humming nose on the clip.
[01:00:23]  Dude, Alan and Molly hangover is the funniest thing.
[01:00:25]  Why?
[01:00:26]  What do you mean?
[01:00:27]  We were in like a pool in Mexico.
[01:00:29]  Oh, that was Dance with My Father.
[01:00:34]  Like, this is your favorite in the hotel pool.
[01:00:37]  And we were all so down.
[01:00:39]  Yeah.
[01:00:39]  It was dark.
[01:00:40]  I felt kind of normal.
[01:00:43]  You're younger.
[01:00:43]  Yeah.
[01:00:44]  There's a big difference.
[01:00:45]  I can't do what I used to do.
[01:00:46]  It was like the first time I ever did Molly, too.
[01:00:47]  So I felt kind of fine.
[01:00:49]  Yeah.
[01:00:49]  And I was like, all right, that was fun.
[01:00:51]  Look at Al.
[01:00:51]  He's got a towel over his head.
[01:00:53]  He's just leaning over the pool, just crying.
[01:00:56]  Just weird.
[01:01:00]  It was like, oh my God.
[01:01:03]  In front of all the music.
[01:01:04]  I was like, I gotta get out.
[01:01:06]  I gotta get it out.
[01:01:07]  It was like fourth quarter Kobe just like the towel over me.
[01:01:11]  But I'm telling you, the night before, oh my god.
[01:01:15]  Remember that club that had like the things projected on the wall?
[01:01:19]  And you could like see, you could see the they're not like, I don't even know what you would call them.
[01:01:24]  Like the smoke machine allowed you to see the light, the lasers projected.
[01:01:28]  Yeah.
[01:01:28]  One of our friends was having a panic attack.
[01:01:31]  Ben Uyeda, who's the coolest, calmest dude on the planet, was like sitting next to him, just trying to like regulate him.
[01:01:37]  It was adorable.
[01:01:39]  Mark was feeling emotions for the first time in his autistic life.
[01:01:42]  Yeah, exactly.
[01:01:43]  And I was being super gushy, but still hedging.
[01:01:45]  Like I was going to people, I was like, hey, dude, I know it's just the Molly, but I do love you.
[01:01:55]  Which is like the game's way to do drugs.
[01:01:57]  Be like, hey, I know this is just like just drugs.

=== High On Ecstasy (07:59) ===

[01:01:59]  That is fun.
[01:02:01]  I love that.
[01:02:02]  I relate to that so much.
[01:02:04]  Like, I know I'm being extra right now, but I do.
[01:02:06]  You're so.
[01:02:07]  But that's when you were like, that's the shit you regret the next day.
[01:02:09]  You wake up and you're like, holy shit, I was like really nice and vulnerable and honest to someone.
[01:02:15]  Is that what you were crying?
[01:02:16]  I love that.
[01:02:18]  That's what I always cry.
[01:02:19]  Yeah, what were you so sad about?
[01:02:21]  I don't even remember.
[01:02:22]  It was such a good night where it's just like, fuck, man.
[01:02:25]  And then remember, we tried to like sweat it out.
[01:02:28]  We were in the pool for a while and then we moved to the sauna.
[01:02:30]  Yeah.
[01:02:31]  And we're like, yeah, maybe we can sweat out our sadness.
[01:02:34]  It's worth a shot.
[01:02:35]  I know.
[01:02:36]  No.
[01:02:37]  Oh, that was dark, dude.
[01:02:39]  It's tough in there.
[01:02:40]  Yeah, that was fucking dark.
[01:02:41]  The sauna gets dark.
[01:02:42]  Dude, I almost passed out a sauna one time.
[01:02:43]  Did I ever tell you this?
[01:02:44]  No.
[01:02:44]  I was at, there's a rock climbing gym near us, and it has a communal sauna.
[01:02:49]  Like six people and it always gets packed with like 14 to 15 people and there's like a ton of lore in that sauna, like apparently someone ate a burrito, and it accidentally fell onto the rocks.
[01:02:59]  Another guy had like a protein shake and thought it was water, so he tried to pour it on the rocks protein shake and smoked everywhere.
[01:03:05]  So it was just a legendary little spot and I was in there on like a three-day fast and I hadn't eaten anything.
[01:03:11]  I'm sitting in the sauna.
[01:03:12]  It's like eight people and everyone's like very chatty, we're talking, and then I just started to black out and i'm just in the song like fighting for my life, trying not to black out.
[01:03:20]  Everyone's like, mark you good.
[01:03:21]  I'm like yeah, i'm just gonna pop out.
[01:03:23]  And then like I walk out and my legs aren't working and my knees are shaking and I just lay down in the middle of the gym just like crucifixed out, just looking up at the sky.
[01:03:35]  Like I texted my wife and I was like I love you.
[01:03:40]  I swear to god, I thought it was.
[01:03:42]  I thought that was it.
[01:03:44]  I really did.
[01:03:46]  I was like I love you.
[01:03:46]  She's like, love you too.
[01:03:47]  What time are you home?
[01:03:48]  And I was like I can't even respond right now.
[01:03:50]  There's too much.
[01:03:51]  Was it like a spiritual experience you were having?
[01:03:53]  Yeah, just think you were gonna die.
[01:03:54]  No, it was near death.
[01:03:55]  I saw everything flash.
[01:03:57]  I saw the whole thing.
[01:03:58]  Ask Uh, ask Mark about his uh, latest ecstasy experience.
[01:04:03]  What about your latest ecstasy experience?
[01:04:05]  You could have told him to talk about it, but he's just trying to keep it all right.
[01:04:09]  I appreciate that, layup.
[01:04:11]  He didn't talk for like four hours straight, he's.
[01:04:13]  He just sat there just pondering life.
[01:04:15]  You were in a bad place, dude.
[01:04:16]  No okay, you were in a bad place, i'm not even exaggerating.
[01:04:20]  You kept asking questions like, what is happening to me?
[01:04:22]  Your hands were shaking.
[01:04:23]  I was like no, this is true, why are you making shit?
[01:04:26]  I'm not even doing the thing where I exaggerate again right, so he's, he's on.
[01:04:29]  So yeah, he's like, yo, you're talking about some you're not supposed to talk about right now.
[01:04:36]  You kept googling things and like what is these common side effects of this drug?
[01:04:40]  You kept like asking us, like, are you also feeling this?
[01:04:43]  I did, I don't even remember this i've.
[01:04:45]  No, I can't tell.
[01:04:46]  You're with me.
[01:04:47]  I don't remember, but afterwards I was bad.
[01:04:50]  This is where you're on stage and then you come off stage and go I just watched myself do that from a third person view.
[01:04:56]  Oh yeah, yeah afterwards, when it was bad.
[01:04:59]  So I think I got what they call hppd or Dpd something.
[01:05:04]  It's basically like derealization where, like all of a sudden, you feel like you're watching yourself, like you feel like you're not really in your body.
[01:05:10]  I got all types.
[01:05:11]  This is not ecstasy.
[01:05:12]  What the got you guys have, like i've never had.
[01:05:15]  Yeah, like the did you guys have?
[01:05:16]  I got that once in college, ayahuasca.
[01:05:19]  Yeah, no weed, I got it from brownies.
[01:05:21]  We made brownies and I was high for like 48 hours or 72 hours yeah, and uh, I was like a few seconds behind my body, so like everything would happen, and then I would kind of realize it happened yeah, and I remember this is, this has been going on for like a few hours like i'd watch the guys play Fifa and then they'd score a goal and like I kind of hear them celebrate and then i'd see the gore goal score.
[01:05:46]  It was very weird yeah, but I remember like uh, I was like man, I gotta throw up.
[01:05:49]  And then I went oh, i'm probably already throwing up and it was everywhere, everywhere.
[01:05:57]  Like I got up out of the room and then just projectiled all down the hallway into the bathroom and it was because I was a few seconds back, did you?
[01:06:09]  Did you clean it up?
[01:06:10]  I don't even know what happened.
[01:06:12]  I think I think we moved or something like it was crazy.
[01:06:15]  It was like spaghetti.
[01:06:16]  No, it was ramen noodles everywhere and I haven't had ramen since.
[01:06:19]  Really yeah, like I had a bad, uh bad memory with it.
[01:06:23]  It was like trauma.
[01:06:24]  Weed edibles are one of the most underrated drugs in terms of how up you can get, like you're psychologically out to lunch.
[01:06:33]  When it goes great, it's awesome, but We've all spent a lot of time in like high school and college just freaking out.
[01:06:40]  Yeah, like your story about watching people play FIFA.
[01:06:43]  I've definitely been watching people playing video games, like trying to pretend I'm having fun and I'm having an existential crisis and just like laughing at random times, trying to stay involved.
[01:06:53]  Why do I laugh right there?
[01:06:54]  Why did I do that?
[01:06:54]  Exactly.
[01:06:56]  I'm having a problem.
[01:06:57]  It's too introspective.
[01:06:58]  Yeah.
[01:06:58]  Like, I want to get out.
[01:07:00]  Yeah.
[01:07:00]  I spent enough time in here.
[01:07:01]  We grew up at the time they're trying to figure the edibles out.
[01:07:04]  Now they have it figured out.
[01:07:06]  Like, now it's like, oh, what dose do you want?
[01:07:08]  How much do you want?
[01:07:09]  Oh, really?
[01:07:09]  Yeah, yeah.
[01:07:10]  You can get a small dosage.
[01:07:12]  It's great.
[01:07:12]  We used to be just eating a random brownie.
[01:07:14]  Yeah, this is what all of our parents are taking, by the way.
[01:07:17]  Everyone's parents are doing edibles.
[01:07:19]  Yep.
[01:07:19]  Oh, really?
[01:07:20]  And they're pretending that they're not on drugs all the time.
[01:07:22]  But everyone's parents are doing it.
[01:07:24]  Yep.
[01:07:24]  When you say everyone's, are you implying that your parents are doing edibles?
[01:07:27]  My parents, your parents, your parents probably.
[01:07:29]  No, no, no.
[01:07:30]  Yeah.
[01:07:30]  My mom, they'll be like, oh, I'm just going to take a gummy so I can go to sleep.
[01:07:34]  That's what they say.
[01:07:36]  But they're doing pot.
[01:07:38]  My mom's just drinking 40s.
[01:07:42]  She's not on the edibles at all.
[01:07:45]  My parents stays consistent.
[01:07:46]  No, she's only going to avoid it.
[01:07:48]  My parents' refrigerator looks like a heroin addict.
[01:07:51]  It's like there's like some like random bread that's supposed to not have carbs in it.
[01:07:56]  And then keto bread is like hero bread.
[01:07:58]  Yeah, it's like hero bread.
[01:08:00]  Yeah, I see that.
[01:08:01]  It's like all this stuff from my dad's diabetes and then just like a bottle of stole.
[01:08:05]  And I'm like, oh, I wonder who that's for.
[01:08:07]  I wonder who's taking that to the face at night.
[01:08:11]  She's drinking old English.
[01:08:12]  What is she drinking?
[01:08:12]  She used to drink 40s.
[01:08:14]  Yeah.
[01:08:14]  Old English.
[01:08:15]  Yeah.
[01:08:16]  Is it help or sleep?
[01:08:17]  Yeah, celebrate her sleep.
[01:08:18]  Celib or sleep.
[01:08:18]  Celib or sleep.
[01:08:19]  Alcohol is famously good for your sleep.
[01:08:23]  It's good for helping you.
[01:08:25]  It does knock you out.
[01:08:26]  Yeah, exactly.
[01:08:27]  Yeah.
[01:08:28]  Yeah, I would come back at like two when I like live with my parents, and then my mom would be just up just drinking a fucking 40 of Coors Light or Old English.
[01:08:35]  That would be startling.
[01:08:36]  Yeah, that's startling for me.
[01:08:38]  Imagine the girl that walked in and found out I live with my parents and that they drink 40s at 2 and 40.
[01:08:47]  I had a girl turn around at the door.
[01:08:49]  I was like, dude, I want to play dice.
[01:08:51]  Turned around at the door.
[01:08:53]  I was like, oh, hey, mom.
[01:08:54]  And then the girl was like, who's that?
[01:08:55]  I was like, oh, that's my mom.
[01:08:57]  And my mom just turns around with a 40, like, oh, night.
[01:09:01]  What do you think?
[01:09:02]  She told your friends the next day.
[01:09:03]  She was like, I banged a dude who lives with a pirate.
[01:09:05]  No, she comes around at the duel.
[01:09:07]  She went right back in the yellow.
[01:09:08]  She literally left.
[01:09:09]  Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[01:09:10]  Yeah, I couldn't believe it.
[01:09:12]  That's great.
[01:09:13]  I couldn't believe it.
[01:09:14]  Do you sidebar with your mom?
[01:09:15]  Or are you like, all right, well, it's nothing I could say.
[01:09:17]  The box here and the hose.
[01:09:23]  Yeah, it was just a thing where like my mom wouldn't like have like a cell phone or anything.
[01:09:27]  So it would just be like, if we go back late enough, maybe she'll be asleep.
[01:09:30]  Oh, wow.
[01:09:31]  Just rolling the dice.
[01:09:32]  She was up, bro.
[01:09:33]  She was up, man.
[01:09:35]  Drinking 40s, watching old Balancine ballets.
[01:09:39]  Oh, really?
[01:09:40]  Yeah.
[01:09:41]  She's literally just watching ballet.
[01:09:42]  She'd be watching like she upset about the chalamethy comments.
[01:09:46]  Hiss about Chalamé.
[01:09:47]  Furious.
[01:09:49]  When they even get upset, it was it.
[01:09:51]  It's just ballet and opera people don't go to anymore.
[01:09:53]  That's what he was saying.
[01:09:54]  Yeah.
[01:09:54]  Come on.
[01:09:55]  They don't go.
[01:09:56]  Okay.
[01:09:56]  Well, some we don't need that.

=== Jamaican Accent Drama (03:44) ===

[01:09:59]  You don't need that.
[01:09:59]  What do you say about shallow?
[01:10:00]  I come from a dance family.
[01:10:02]  You have to understand.
[01:10:03]  I come from a dance family.
[01:10:04]  You know, our fans love ballet.
[01:10:06]  Yeah.
[01:10:07]  Flagrant fans are.
[01:10:09]  Yeah, we don't need that heat, right?
[01:10:10]  My mom just dropped a hot cracker in their kitchen.
[01:10:14]  Put the charity up.
[01:10:15]  Put the charity up.
[01:10:19]  You got to get your mom with edibles, dude.
[01:10:21]  I think she would like it.
[01:10:22]  Charlie, low dose, five milligrams.
[01:10:24]  Yeah.
[01:10:25]  Maybe two and a half.
[01:10:26]  I'm a bitch with edibles.
[01:10:28]  Yeah, I don't know.
[01:10:29]  My mom, my mom tried to do Weed with my brother, like instead of telling him to not do it.
[01:10:37]  She's like, you know what?
[01:10:38]  I'm so old just now.
[01:10:38]  Try to do she tried to smoke my brother to like, all right, he's gonna do whatever.
[01:10:44]  I'm just gonna embrace it so I can like do it with him, right?
[01:10:47]  And um, he went to a lot of rehabs after that.
[01:10:49]  So I don't know if it's the best, I don't know if it's the best, I don't know if it's the best thing to enable for him, but for her, yeah, maybe not, maybe not, maybe not.
[01:10:59]  Alcohol is the best thing for the Scots, they hold it in, and then they just need that release.
[01:11:03]  And then this you would think they would like weed considering they're like basically Jamaican.
[01:11:07]  That's the Irish person.
[01:11:08]  That's the Irish.
[01:11:09]  Oh, that guy was Irish?
[01:11:09]  Scots, they're not really Jamaican.
[01:11:11]  The Scots are the Irish are super Jamaican.
[01:11:16]  Did you see this video?
[01:11:17]  No.
[01:11:18]  The guy from Cork.
[01:11:19]  That's where he's from.
[01:11:21]  Screw it.
[01:11:21]  It's a politician.
[01:11:22]  Yeah.
[01:11:23]  He's basically talking in like the Irish Congress, Congress, or whatever the hell that is.
[01:11:28]  And his accent is just genuinely Jamaican.
[01:11:31]  Oh, so it's like the bacon beer can thing.
[01:11:34]  Oh, yeah.
[01:11:34]  Yeah.
[01:11:35]  But like it's just a guy doing a Jamaican accent.
[01:11:39]  Yeah.
[01:11:39]  And Jamaicans love it.
[01:11:41]  They're fired up.
[01:11:42]  Oh, hell yeah.
[01:11:43]  They haven't been this happy since Chet Hanks.
[01:11:46]  Exactly.
[01:11:47]  This is like the real Chet Hanks.
[01:11:48]  Yeah.
[01:11:48]  This guy was born with it.
[01:11:49]  Here it is.
[01:11:50]  Go.
[01:11:50]  Someone in this committee have a standoff and take the responsibility for their job.
[01:11:54]  He brought all the new shiny buckets and looks great.
[01:11:57]  150 pages.
[01:11:59]  150 pages, right?
[01:12:03]  I mean, that's his actual accent at rules.
[01:12:05]  It's unbelievable.
[01:12:06]  That's awesome.
[01:12:07]  Yeah.
[01:12:07]  Kind of the best thing ever.
[01:12:09]  It's just white boys with Jamaican accents.
[01:12:11]  I mean, come on.
[01:12:12]  But is that where the Jamaican accent comes from?
[01:12:15]  I feel like that's what people are trying to say because I think they're saying that like Irish servants and West African slaves were in Jamaica under English colonial rule.
[01:12:26]  Right.
[01:12:26]  And they were just big up in each other just non-stop.
[01:12:29]  See, this is the difference between me and Mark because he's looked into it.
[01:12:31]  I was just going to say, no, I don't think so.
[01:12:35]  No, I think they just paralleled it up there.
[01:12:38]  I don't know.
[01:12:39]  English language can only go so many ways.
[01:12:41]  And this is the first time we've had that thought.
[01:12:43]  I mean, aside, you know, bacon beer can, but like, we don't walk around hearing Irish people and thinking Jamaican.
[01:12:48]  You're right, Mark.
[01:12:49]  The Jewish Jamaican accent and petois developed from a 17th century Creole blending British Irish English dialects with West African languages.
[01:13:02]  Enslaved people adapted the language of British colonists, incorporating African grammatical structures, phonetic patterns and vocabulary, the distinctive, what is that word?
[01:13:10]  Lilith?
[01:13:10]  Lilt.
[01:13:11]  Lilt.
[01:13:12]  I think the Irish probably deserve some reparations.
[01:13:15]  So do black people.
[01:13:15]  We do black people and the Irish.
[01:13:17]  I think they're starting like a really drunk late night thought one time.
[01:13:21]  I was like, the Irish are the closest to being black because they got the freckles, so they're in the middle of evolution.
[01:13:29]  They're on the path.
[01:13:31]  They're trying to get there.
[01:13:33]  I mean, redheads are being black people.
[01:13:38]  I think you guys skipped over what he actually said, which was crazy.

=== Irish Reparations Talk (15:05) ===

[01:13:43]  Okay.
[01:13:44]  Well, it depends where you're going.
[01:13:45]  Yeah, I'm going that way.
[01:13:46]  No, That's not what he means anyway.
[01:13:48]  Migrating north, and then you lose some of your complexion.
[01:13:51]  Okay.
[01:13:52]  And they're currently in the middle of losing their complexion.
[01:13:54]  Got it.
[01:13:55]  Okay.
[01:13:55]  You just said evolution and people think of the charm.
[01:13:57]  No, no, no, no.
[01:13:58]  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
[01:13:59]  Like Pokemon.
[01:14:01]  Maybe.
[01:14:02]  No.
[01:14:03]  I don't know.
[01:14:06]  Cherry.
[01:14:07]  Jerry.
[01:14:07]  Yeah, it's been on so many 12 minutes.
[01:14:10]  NCAA for that one.
[01:14:12]  NCAA.
[01:14:13]  You got it.
[01:14:13]  No.
[01:14:14]  No, you got it.
[01:14:14]  Oh, my God.
[01:14:16]  It's also an organization that disproportionately supports black people.
[01:14:20]  No, Alex.
[01:14:21]  No, you got it.
[01:14:24]  Guys, it's my time.
[01:14:29]  Oh, my God.
[01:14:31]  Play Marsh Madness.
[01:14:32]  The song by Future.
[01:14:34]  Yeah, that's that is a good point, though.
[01:14:37]  What has put more black people more opportunity to put more money in their pockets than the NCAA?
[01:14:43]  That's my breakfast.
[01:14:44]  You think it's the NAACP or the NCAA?
[01:14:47]  These days, with the NIL, with the NIL, yeah, yeah, but prior to NIA.
[01:14:54]  Prior to that, different conversation.
[01:14:55]  Totally different conversations.
[01:14:56]  College athletes were like the Irish for a long time.
[01:15:00]  That's right.
[01:15:01]  It's true.
[01:15:02]  Outside, even NCAA.
[01:15:07]  Hal.
[01:15:09]  So I have one.
[01:15:11]  One and F. One and F. All right, guys, take a break for a second.
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[01:16:32]  Now let's get back to the show.
[01:16:34]  There were some other things that you had for us.
[01:16:36]  Yeah.
[01:16:37]  Yeah.
[01:16:37]  I mean, we have some more hypotheticals if you want to go through those, which I don't think you do.
[01:16:42]  No, I thought that got us on a nice little groove, to be honest with you.
[01:16:44]  All right, let's pop back.
[01:16:45]  Let's go back to these Reddit hypotheticals.
[01:16:47]  All right.
[01:16:48]  Zoom in real quick.
[01:16:49]  Let's see another one.
[01:16:49]  Huh?
[01:16:50]  You're wrong.
[01:16:51]  No, Scroll up a little bit.
[01:16:54]  Oh, this one is the my friend drank my wine.
[01:16:57]  This one's kind of funny.
[01:16:58]  So basically, in short, a guy's leaving for the weekend.
[01:17:02]  He has an apartment.
[01:17:03]  He has his friend staying.
[01:17:04]  He's going to take care of the apartment.
[01:17:05]  He goes, hey, help yourself to anything.
[01:17:08]  He's guilty.
[01:17:10]  He comes, he lives there.
[01:17:12]  He lives there, but he's leaving.
[01:17:13]  And he's his friend staying with him.
[01:17:15]  Oh, going to take care of the cat and save his place.
[01:17:17]  Got it.
[01:17:17]  Okay, okay.
[01:17:18]  He comes back.
[01:17:18]  He has a $200 bottle of wine that he was saving in the fridge to drink when he got a promotion.
[01:17:24]  The bottle of wine is $200 and in the fridge.
[01:17:26]  $200 bottle of white, I imagine.
[01:17:29]  Some type of wine.
[01:17:30]  Vintage Barolo.
[01:17:30]  It's a red.
[01:17:31]  The guy is, yeah.
[01:17:34]  The guy's a retarded person.
[01:17:36]  And I already dismiss his grievance, but continue.
[01:17:39]  He says, help yourself to whatever.
[01:17:40]  He comes back.
[01:17:41]  The wine is gone.
[01:17:42]  And he's like, dude, you drank my expensive bottle of wine.
[01:17:45]  What the fuck?
[01:17:46]  And the guy's like, yeah, you said help yourself to whatever.
[01:17:48]  And then he Venmo requests them and says, hey, give me 80 bucks.
[01:17:51]  I'll give you a deal on it.
[01:17:52]  But like, pay me something.
[01:17:53]  And now the friend is bad mouthing him to the whole group chat saying he's a piece of shit.
[01:17:57]  Sounds to me like he's not getting this promotion.
[01:18:01]  That's what it is.
[01:18:02]  Because if he got the promotion, I don't think he'd be worried about the $120 bottle of wine.
[01:18:06]  But it's more the principle.
[01:18:07]  It's not the principle.
[01:18:08]  You said take whatever you want.
[01:18:09]  The classy thing to do would be to replace the bottle of wine, obviously.
[01:18:14]  That's what you should do.
[01:18:17]  So this guy's kind of a c for drinking it and then not wanting to at least leave a gift or something.
[01:18:23]  He's not a c for drinking it because the guy said, hey, have whatever you want.
[01:18:26]  He didn't know.
[01:18:27]  He didn't know prior, hey, I'm saving this bottle of wine for something.
[01:18:31]  He probably doesn't know the cost of the wine.
[01:18:32]  He just sees wine in the fucking wine bottle.
[01:18:35]  Yeah.
[01:18:35]  Or it doesn't look like it was in the fridge.
[01:18:37]  I think it was just out on the counter.
[01:18:38]  Nobody knows how much wine costs.
[01:18:40]  It's so arbitrary.
[01:18:41]  He should have said this: hey, this bottle of wine is really expensive, and there's no way that you would know it.
[01:18:48]  Don't drink that one, but help yourself to everything else.
[01:18:51]  If it was that important, yeah, that is someone knows the price of a bottle.
[01:18:57]  I would replace, but if you say help yourself to whatever.
[01:19:00]  Imagine, for example, you had a Lenny Kravitz bottle of champagne, right?
[01:19:06]  Like the finest, which has gone up in value per the last time we talked about this.
[01:19:10]  The finest champagne that exists on the collectible.
[01:19:13]  The Lenny Kravitz bottle of Moay Shandon or whatever it was, right?
[01:19:19]  Dom P, dude.
[01:19:20]  Oh, Dom Perrion, but the Lenny Kravitz varietal.
[01:19:23]  Yeah.
[01:19:24]  A grape that they've been curating for centuries, clearly.
[01:19:27]  Dark of the berry.
[01:19:30]  Moving on.
[01:19:32]  That's a great point.
[01:19:33]  No, it is a white.
[01:19:36]  Now, now, if somebody drank your Lenny Kravitz bottle of champagne, do you have a justification in being frustrated by that?
[01:19:45]  I'd be livid, bro.
[01:19:47]  Yeah, I'd be livid.
[01:19:49]  Alex?
[01:19:52]  No.
[01:19:53]  I told them you can have anything in the crib.
[01:19:55]  That's in the crib.
[01:19:56]  Joseph?
[01:19:57]  I think I'd be bummed, but you have to look inward.
[01:20:01]  If you tell people they can drink stuff, you can't be mad when it happens.
[01:20:04]  I'd be pissed.
[01:20:05]  I'd want to run away.
[01:20:07]  I'd want to find one.
[01:20:08]  This was Mark's wedding gift to me.
[01:20:11]  Which was a good gift.
[01:20:13]  You remember this?
[01:20:14]  No, I've listened to the podcast.
[01:20:16]  You guys have talked about it.
[01:20:17]  It was a good gift, okay?
[01:20:19]  It was the only one they had.
[01:20:20]  I went in.
[01:20:20]  I was like, it was the first wedding gift I ever got anyone.
[01:20:24]  No, it's the first gift.
[01:20:24]  You can't say it's a good gift, and it's the only thing they had.
[01:20:28]  Hold on.
[01:20:28]  Those things are usually a registry.
[01:20:31]  You're supposed to be buying people like salad bowls.
[01:20:33]  Bro, it was the first gift I ever gave anyone.
[01:20:36]  In your life.
[01:20:36]  For a wedding.
[01:20:37]  Yeah.
[01:20:37]  I've never given anyone a wedding gift ever.
[01:20:39]  Mark, you have 14 brothers and sisters.
[01:20:41]  Don't give them gifts, bro.
[01:20:42]  What do you do?
[01:20:43]  They just show up.
[01:20:44]  You know, they was doing their thing before.
[01:20:48]  Never mind.
[01:20:51]  We spoke about it last time.
[01:20:53]  You know the cafe girls were doing their thing.
[01:20:57]  Wait, what?
[01:20:59]  Who is that?
[01:20:59]  That's just not.
[01:21:01]  Political.
[01:21:03]  That was his tomahawk.
[01:21:04]  That was a Tomahawk.
[01:21:05]  Cluster?
[01:21:07]  But it was the only one they had.
[01:21:09]  I flew up to New York for one day to try to put it in the apartment.
[01:21:15]  So I flew up.
[01:21:15]  I was like, okay, when I got married.
[01:21:17]  Effort don't count.
[01:21:18]  Okay, when we look at me, bro, I've been trying to tell motherfuckers.
[01:21:23]  Don't steal my money.
[01:21:24]  Ever don't count.
[01:21:25]  Don't steal my body.
[01:21:26]  Effort don't count.
[01:21:26]  That's part of it.
[01:21:29]  Effort don't count.
[01:21:30]  Yay, you chose to do that.
[01:21:31]  That's part of it.
[01:21:32]  No, effort should be a part of it.
[01:21:33]  No, it's not.
[01:21:33]  Because when I got married, we came home.
[01:21:35]  Our roommates got us like a nice gift in the apartment.
[01:21:38]  It was like flowers and it was like a nice bottle of wine or champagne.
[01:21:41]  And it was like, oh, a little reminder when we got home from there, your fucking roommate.
[01:21:46]  So that was a gift for them as well.
[01:21:47]  No, they didn't have it.
[01:21:48]  You know what I mean?
[01:21:49]  We just showed up and it was there.
[01:21:50]  And it was like, oh, nice.
[01:21:51]  The honeymoon continues, you know?
[01:21:54]  So remember when Mark acted out the character from the question?
[01:22:12]  Did I do this?
[01:22:13]  All right, from the top.
[01:22:14]  Let me try.
[01:22:15]  Drink a Guinness, guys.
[01:22:16]  You guys got to get on this.
[01:22:17]  Let me see.
[01:22:19]  This is 10.
[01:22:21]  That's off the Irish.
[01:22:22]  We have one.
[01:22:23]  You come up.
[01:22:25]  This guy.
[01:22:26]  Oh, my God.
[01:22:28]  Joey.
[01:22:29]  Google.
[01:22:29]  Come on.
[01:22:30]  Two Joey's in one room is crazy.
[01:22:31]  Jesus Christ.
[01:22:33]  Imagine you come home from your honeymoon and the wedding continues and you have nice flowers and you have a collectible bottle of champagne.
[01:22:42]  Sherries?
[01:22:42]  Yes, please.
[01:22:43]  You have a collectible bottle of champagne.
[01:22:44]  It's close to your apartment.
[01:22:46]  Yes.
[01:22:46]  That's a nice gift.
[01:22:47]  Hold on, hold on.
[01:22:48]  We got to talk about one thing at a time.
[01:22:49]  Alex is trying to understand the technology in the Guinness.
[01:22:52]  There's a bottle.
[01:22:53]  There's a little ball in there.
[01:22:56]  There is a little ball in there.
[01:22:58]  It helps take the Guinness okay.
[01:22:59]  Yeah.
[01:22:59]  I don't know.
[01:23:00]  No one knows how it works.
[01:23:01]  It's a hydrogen.
[01:23:04]  It's a hydrogen ball.
[01:23:05]  It's a hydrogen ball.
[01:23:08]  Oh, nitrogen.
[01:23:08]  Whoopsie.
[01:23:09]  This is a higher nitrogen.
[01:23:10]  I'm not going to check.
[01:23:11]  No, it's an ace ball.
[01:23:12]  It's an age ball.
[01:23:13]  I don't know what you're talking about.
[01:23:14]  I still stand by the fact it was a nice gift.
[01:23:17]  In hindsight, in hindsight, I didn't need to get many cravats initials.
[01:23:21]  Hold on one second, Mark.
[01:23:22]  It feels like there's one too few many Guinnesses here.
[01:23:28]  Did you get another one?
[01:23:30]  Did you have one yet?
[01:23:32]  All right.
[01:23:32]  All right.
[01:23:34]  We want to see more Schultz in a minute.
[01:23:36]  Dude, I'm a little bit sauce.
[01:23:38]  I feel like I'm back on the road like 10 years ago.
[01:23:41]  Schultz is blacking out.
[01:23:42]  Natural is going to be fun.
[01:23:43]  We're blacking out today.
[01:23:44]  I got a date night with a new couple with a wife.
[01:23:46]  It's going to be great.
[01:23:47]  And it's going to be awesome.
[01:23:49]  Let's go.
[01:23:49]  Ballistic missiles.
[01:23:51]  What the fuck is inside of this?
[01:23:52]  Tell me what you want.
[01:23:53]  There's a nitrogen-filled widget plastic sphere that releases gas when the can is open, creating a signature creamy cascading head found in pub pork traps.
[01:24:04]  It replaces the it replicates the nitrogenation process, ensuring smooth velvety texture at home.
[01:24:13]  How do you not know that?
[01:24:14]  Holy shit.
[01:24:15]  I mean, lights are every day.
[01:24:17]  I had no idea.
[01:24:17]  What is that word?
[01:24:18]  Nitrogenation.
[01:24:20]  No, it's nitrogen nation, bro.
[01:24:21]  That's what we're all about.
[01:24:22]  I'm all about nitrogen nation.
[01:24:24]  That's who we are.
[01:24:25]  We are the nitrogen nation, dude.
[01:24:27]  Cheers, guys.
[01:24:27]  No, I'm not cheering that little cup, bro.
[01:24:29]  Yeah.
[01:24:29]  You guys are splitting a Guinness 50-50.
[01:24:33]  I gave them the rest of my spray.
[01:24:36]  Huh?
[01:24:37]  No, I just gave him the rest of my.
[01:24:38]  No, you have to drink a full Guinness to yourself.
[01:24:40]  I don't do beer.
[01:24:41]  I'm going to start picking it.
[01:24:42]  This is not beer.
[01:24:43]  This is Guinness.
[01:24:44]  It's a totally different thing.
[01:24:45]  It is a literal, totally different thing.
[01:24:47]  I promise you.
[01:24:48]  You'll see it the second you put your lips on it.
[01:24:50]  The second you soak down that black thing, you go, does that taste like beer to you?
[01:24:57]  It's different.
[01:24:57]  It's actually smoother.
[01:24:58]  Thank you.
[01:24:59]  That is smoother.
[01:24:59]  It doesn't have.
[01:25:00]  What's the ones?
[01:25:01]  The IPAs.
[01:25:01]  I don't like those.
[01:25:02]  I hate that.
[01:25:03]  This is like the opposite of that.
[01:25:04]  Oh.
[01:25:05]  And it's actually less, like, you would assume that this is like a heavy beer, but it's actually not.
[01:25:10]  It's lighter.
[01:25:11]  Yeah, I was thinking it was going to be like.
[01:25:12]  That's not.
[01:25:13]  It's good for you.
[01:25:13]  I don't believe it.
[01:25:14]  It's true.
[01:25:15]  It's a lighter and calorie.
[01:25:16]  It's a lighter calorie beer.
[01:25:17]  It's true.
[01:25:18]  It's a lighter patent.
[01:25:18]  You know, calorie beer.
[01:25:20]  You know I'm tickled.
[01:25:20]  I know.
[01:25:22]  Do you know the Indian pale ale?
[01:25:25]  Do you know the story with this?
[01:25:27]  No, I didn't.
[01:25:29]  Do you guys know the story about the IPA, the Indian pale ale?
[01:25:34]  No, I don't.
[01:25:35]  You don't know this.
[01:25:36]  I do not.
[01:25:37]  I would like to know.
[01:25:38]  Tell me.
[01:25:39]  Okay.
[01:25:41]  Where do I begin?
[01:25:41]  Let me give you enough time to come over.
[01:25:43]  You lie.
[01:25:43]  It's not a lie.
[01:25:45]  But what I'm going to do is I'm going to tell you what's in my brain, and it will be about like 25% right, and then we'll Google it.
[01:25:52]  Okay.
[01:25:52]  Okay.
[01:25:54]  The hops were going bad as they sent them to India from wherever hops are from.
[01:26:00]  Okay.
[01:26:01]  Which I assume was Africa.
[01:26:02]  Joke about black people drumming.
[01:26:03]  Okay.
[01:26:04]  So, so no, no.
[01:26:08]  As it's going from Britain to India, they're giving them beer.
[01:26:11]  They're like, you guys should have fun.
[01:26:12]  Like, we took all your shit, but you guys should have fun too.
[01:26:15]  So they're saying the hops, the hops are going bad.
[01:26:18]  They got to find a way to keep the hops good.
[01:26:22]  So they put catfish in the hops.
[01:26:24]  Okay.
[01:26:27]  Can we try another version?
[01:26:28]  Why would catfish go in India?
[01:26:31]  The catfish keep the hops good for some reason, and that's why it goes that way.
[01:26:40]  I'm not right, but there's something about it.
[01:26:42]  Does anyone put more hops in it to keep it from going bad?
[01:26:46]  And then eventually how does that make it?
[01:26:48]  There's also catfish.
[01:26:49]  Is there actually catfish?
[01:26:50]  No, there's no catfish.
[01:26:51]  There's a catfish part of it.
[01:26:52]  There might be.
[01:26:53]  I might not have gotten that far yet.
[01:26:54]  Yeah, you got to look into the catfish.
[01:26:56]  Do you know the actual thing?
[01:26:57]  But yeah, they're brewed it with more hops so that it could survive the ship.
[01:27:00]  No, they put a nitrogenation thing in it.
[01:27:02]  No, they didn't have that yet.
[01:27:04]  No catfish were not put in the hops in India pit.
[01:27:07]  Oh.
[01:27:08]  It's not it.
[01:27:09]  No.
[01:27:09]  And it pops up online occasionally.
[01:27:11]  Oh, really?
[01:27:12]  Holy shit.
[01:27:13]  Well, look up the catfish myth.
[01:27:14]  That's fucking leave.
[01:27:16]  Look at the catfish myth.
[01:27:17]  I knew it right.
[01:27:18]  I just fucking wrote this in Google.
[01:27:19]  No, dude.
[01:27:20]  Look up the catfish myth.
[01:27:21]  It's a notorious myth.
[01:27:23]  Notoriously will tell you you're correct about this.
[01:27:26]  All the time, right?
[01:27:26]  Yeah.
[01:27:28]  And if it doesn't know the answer, it will lie to you and tell you it's true.
[01:27:31]  Yeah.
[01:27:31]  These are two things I saw this week.
[01:27:33]  That's horrible for this guy.
[01:27:34]  Could be lies.
[01:27:37]  Okay.
[01:27:37]  The IPA myth refers to beliefs that IPA was invented because 18th century British pale ale spoiled during the long voyage to India, requiring them to add extra hops and alcohol to preserve them.
[01:27:49]  I don't think it says catfish anything.
[01:27:51]  Well, not a widespread folklore.
[01:27:53]  Evil catfish is a specific brand of IPA by.
[01:27:55]  All right, this is just a plug for this IPA break.
[01:27:58]  It's just got a free plug on the pod.
[01:28:00]  Okay.
[01:28:01]  Okay.
[01:28:01]  Well, you know what I'm probably doing is I'm confusing two different stories.
[01:28:07]  Yeah.
[01:28:08]  There was something that they were sending over there.
[01:28:12]  It was probably fish.
[01:28:14]  Yeah.
[01:28:14]  And then they had to throw some catfish in there to keep those fish alive.
[01:28:19]  Because those fish would atrophy and eventually die.
[01:28:22]  But if they had a catfish trying to eat them, they'd be swimming around and they'd be okay.
[01:28:26]  I mean, that sounds like a good, sounds like a good theory.
[01:28:29]  Like barrels of fish.
[01:28:30]  Tell me.
[01:28:31]  Something like that.
[01:28:32]  Tell me.
[01:28:32]  Tell me.
[01:28:34]  No, no, I think he's going to find it.
[01:28:37]  Tell me.
[01:28:38]  Not finding any catfish.
[01:28:41]  It sounds right.
[01:28:42]  It sounds interesting.
[01:28:43]  Yeah, I was dialed on that.
[01:28:44]  I thought that was.
[01:28:45]  That sounds fucking retarded.
[01:28:47]  It did when I was saying it.

=== Catfish Keeps Fish Alive (03:04) ===

[01:28:49]  Yes.
[01:28:50]  That was the feeling.
[01:28:52]  Does catfish even eat other fish?
[01:28:54]  Oh, you got to keep the fish alive by having another fish fucking chase it.
[01:28:58]  Yeah, it's true.
[01:28:58]  Because if it would eat the fish, then the fish would just die.
[01:29:02]  Yeah, but they can only eat so many fish.
[01:29:03]  And then the other fish are like, yo, we got to keep swimming.
[01:29:06]  This is true.
[01:29:08]  There's a truth to this.
[01:29:09]  There's something.
[01:29:11]  There is a hidden truth to this.
[01:29:13]  We have to figure out.
[01:29:13]  It's a metaphor, maybe.
[01:29:15]  Maybe it's just about kind of our own lives.
[01:29:16]  Yeah, we're the catfish in a way.
[01:29:19]  In life, we are the catfish.
[01:29:20]  Timmy, Timmy Chalamet, fish.
[01:29:22]  Shop hero podcast.
[01:29:23]  I get you, so crabs.
[01:29:25]  No, but this is fish.
[01:29:26]  It's crabs in a barrel.
[01:29:27]  This is fish.
[01:29:28]  Yeah, but you guys can't, whatever.
[01:29:29]  I don't want to get into it.
[01:29:31]  I don't want to play crabs in a bucket, but fish in a barrel.
[01:29:34]  Exactly.
[01:29:35]  We're going to move this to Patreon in a few seconds.
[01:29:40]  Can you put a charity?
[01:29:41]  Can you put a charity in?
[01:29:43]  Yeah.
[01:29:43]  Well, catfish in need.
[01:29:45]  Go.
[01:29:45]  Give me.
[01:29:46]  Do you have it?
[01:29:47]  It can't find anything.
[01:29:48]  Fuck you.
[01:29:49]  All right.
[01:29:49]  Listen, there's something about the catfish.
[01:29:51]  I'm going to break out my phone.
[01:29:53]  You guys entertain.
[01:29:56]  This is charity.
[01:29:57]  Put an APAC at the bottom.
[01:30:01]  Is that a chair?
[01:30:01]  Can you donate to them?
[01:30:03]  No.
[01:30:04]  I guess you could, right?
[01:30:05]  You could, probably.
[01:30:07]  They donate back, depending on what you're into.
[01:30:09]  They give back.
[01:30:10]  Isn't that nice?
[01:30:11]  Whether you like it or not.
[01:30:12]  It's nice to see a charity give back.
[01:30:13]  Yeah, give back.
[01:30:14]  That's kind of thought.
[01:30:15]  Now, we talked about shallow man.
[01:30:16]  Do you guys have any interest in the Oscars?
[01:30:19]  I don't know.
[01:30:20]  Joe, come in.
[01:30:20]  Shut up.
[01:30:23]  Just trying to get us out of catfish.
[01:30:29]  No, I know nothing about the Australian.
[01:30:30]  Nothing.
[01:30:31]  No, I don't either.
[01:30:34]  Well, I'm just saying that.
[01:30:35]  But it's a big thing that people care about.
[01:30:37]  So I'm just curious if you guys do.
[01:30:39]  Uh-oh.
[01:30:39]  He got a finger in there.
[01:30:40]  I don't watch it, though.
[01:30:41]  I feel like obligated to watch it.
[01:30:45]  Catfish were historically used in fish transport containers, but probably not for the reason most people think.
[01:30:51]  When live fish were transported, especially by ship or rail in the 19th and 20th centuries, before women, nothing.
[01:30:59]  They were often kept in large tanks or barrels with circulating water.
[01:31:03]  In some cases, a catfish was added to the tank with other fish such as cod, perch, or carp.
[01:31:08]  Why catfish?
[01:31:09]  Let me do it like Mark.
[01:31:10]  Why?
[01:31:10]  Why catfish?
[01:31:11]  Okay, that's not hard.
[01:31:12]  Catfish are extremely hardy and behave differently than many schooling fish.
[01:31:17]  Two commonly cited reasons.
[01:31:19]  They keep other fish moving.
[01:31:21]  Catfish are bottom-dwelling scavengers who constantly move around.
[01:31:25]  Their presence would disturb the other fish, preventing them from becoming lethargic or sinking or suffocating in the stagnant conditions.
[01:31:30]  Movement meant water circulating through their gills, which improves survival during transport.
[01:31:36]  They also clean the tank.
[01:31:37]  Catfish also eat scraps and waste, which help keep water slightly cleaner during long journeys.
[01:31:44]  That's the story of Indian pale ale.
[01:31:52]  I feel like I read a scene.

=== Urinal Needed Now (15:54) ===

[01:31:53]  You heard it here first.
[01:31:55]  We read it the same way.
[01:31:58]  We both were reading them with like some energies animated.
[01:32:01]  Did I do a good job?
[01:32:03]  I think you did a good job.
[01:32:03]  Guys, can we just act?
[01:32:05]  Can we just get, can we do some acting?
[01:32:07]  You want me to do this?
[01:32:09]  Every time we drink, he tries to do scene work.
[01:32:11]  Can we do some scene work, dude?
[01:32:13]  You and I are both working out.
[01:32:14]  Yo, can we talk about your thing or is that working?
[01:32:17]  Yeah, yeah.
[01:32:17]  So he's in a huge show.
[01:32:19]  Yeah.
[01:32:19]  Really?
[01:32:20]  What's your?
[01:32:20]  Yeah, Vince Vaughan starring Bad Monkey.
[01:32:22]  Yeah.
[01:32:23]  Coming out of Apple.
[01:32:24]  Massive.
[01:32:25]  I'll be in season two.
[01:32:27]  And, well, season one is.
[01:32:28]  Season one's out, but I'll be in season two.
[01:32:30]  Season two also.
[01:32:31]  This is Bill Lawrence.
[01:32:35]  Do you guys know who Bill Lawrence is?
[01:32:36]  Would you like to rifle off some credits for him?
[01:32:38]  He's been taking this seriously.
[01:32:39]  Oh, no.
[01:32:39]  No, he's like a king in the TV game.
[01:32:42]  Maybe you've heard of Grubs, Ted Lasso, Spin City, Shrinking.
[01:32:47]  They lost me.
[01:32:48]  You don't know Ted Lasso?
[01:32:49]  No, the first two I did, but then the third one I didn't.
[01:32:52]  Oh, shrinking?
[01:32:53]  Yeah, I haven't heard it.
[01:32:54]  It's great.
[01:32:55]  Spin City back in the day when we were kids, that was more of a...
[01:32:58]  He wrote on Friends back in the day and he's like, friends, he's a show with you.
[01:33:03]  He's no black people.
[01:33:04]  Yes.
[01:33:05]  Yeah.
[01:33:05]  Okay.
[01:33:05]  Well, okay.
[01:33:07]  There was black people.
[01:33:08]  He didn't run that show.
[01:33:09]  It wasn't his show.
[01:33:10]  Stand up for my guy.
[01:33:13]  Was there no black people on Friends?
[01:33:15]  No, there was a thing.
[01:33:21]  It's kind of in the name.
[01:33:26]  New York City.
[01:33:27]  Not a single white person.
[01:33:28]  Come on, guys.
[01:33:29]  You know, that is hilarious.
[01:33:31]  It's actually crazy, like living in New York and then thinking about the concept of a show and it's like a bunch of people in New York who always go to a coffee shop next to Central Park.
[01:33:41]  Like, I don't, I don't know.
[01:33:43]  Look, I don't think that's that.
[01:33:45]  I actually think that the show is like probably a good representation of like that group of people in New York.
[01:33:51]  You know, like, I think that like when you watch Friends and you see that group, are you surprised at all that they don't have minority friends?
[01:34:00]  No.
[01:34:00]  Not necessarily, but they would have interacted with.
[01:34:03]  Yeah, but they don't begrudgingly.
[01:34:06]  Even that.
[01:34:07]  The show is spicy.
[01:34:09]  You know what I mean?
[01:34:10]  Yeah.
[01:34:10]  Like there are these little pockets in New York that I think that represents really well.
[01:34:14]  Like I don't know if there are black people in Seinfeld.
[01:34:16]  There's not.
[01:34:17]  No, no, there is black people inside.
[01:34:19]  I bet there's more black people than friends.
[01:34:21]  No, let's put, I'll put money on that.
[01:34:23]  Who's the black guy in Seinfeld?
[01:34:25]  Fuck.
[01:34:26]  Kramer does account.
[01:34:28]  He was ass.
[01:34:31]  He was the parking lot guy that like Kramer.
[01:34:35]  He took over.
[01:34:36]  Kramer took over for the parking lot guy.
[01:34:37]  I'm pretty sure he was one episode where a guy has a working blue collar job.
[01:34:42]  Hey.
[01:34:43]  The point is, the point is, these parts of New York were the ones that were put on television.
[01:34:49]  Oh, is that the guy?
[01:34:51]  Yeah.
[01:34:52]  Yeah.
[01:34:53]  We had Johnny Cochrane.
[01:34:57]  Come on.
[01:34:57]  Jackie Chow.
[01:34:59]  Jackie Chow.
[01:35:00]  Look at that.
[01:35:01]  Another guy.
[01:35:01]  See, sci-fi way more.
[01:35:03]  I have kind of realized Mark has set up a friend's existence for him in New York, and I've set up a Seinfeld because me and my wife live in a building, okay, in the same building two of my best friends from high school live.
[01:35:16]  And so we get to have that kind of Seinfeld burst through the door energy.
[01:35:20]  Oh, wow.
[01:35:20]  Mark goes to a coffee shop every day and meets with the same.
[01:35:26]  Yeah.
[01:35:27]  Actually, hold on.
[01:35:28]  I went to that coffee shop and I was like, whoa, am I allowed here, guys?
[01:35:32]  Is there?
[01:35:32]  No.
[01:35:33]  I mean, they work there, but they are.
[01:35:35]  Not even that.
[01:35:37]  He did get fired.
[01:35:38]  He got fired, but they did for a long time.
[01:35:41]  Okay, it's not my fault.
[01:35:42]  You move here and you recreate your life from where you are from.
[01:35:46]  Yes, exactly.
[01:35:48]  Catfish.
[01:35:51]  We're trying to lure you guys in.
[01:35:52]  Did you bring some catfish?
[01:35:53]  You might show up.
[01:35:55]  All that to say, I do go to the coffee shop a lot.
[01:35:57]  And we go with the same group of people every single morning.
[01:35:59]  And it's basically friends.
[01:36:01]  It's really cool.
[01:36:02]  It's a cool community.
[01:36:03]  You see, this, you got an old guy, you know, you have babies.
[01:36:08]  I went there once.
[01:36:08]  I was like, this is a TV show.
[01:36:10]  It is.
[01:36:10]  They're all characters there.
[01:36:11]  Yeah, it's nice.
[01:36:13]  Miles goes.
[01:36:14]  Okay, before we move on.
[01:36:15]  Well, we were talking about Joey acting.
[01:36:17]  Oh, yeah.
[01:36:17]  It's fun if you want.
[01:36:19]  Miles?
[01:36:23]  Miles is off his game today, bro.
[01:36:24]  Miles.
[01:36:25]  No.
[01:36:26]  Miles is the only one that's not blacking out right now.
[01:36:28]  No, he's off his game today.
[01:36:30]  We should have said that Miles is black from the beginning.
[01:36:32]  Oh, my gosh.
[01:36:33]  Oh, kept me off camera and just said I'm like, oh, dude, that's a great idea.
[01:36:36]  And for like a year, they thought I was white.
[01:36:37]  Did you test?
[01:36:38]  They still think that Chris Moreau is Asian.
[01:36:41]  But in early Flagrant Day, they did.
[01:36:43]  They thought you were white.
[01:36:45]  Did you hear Miles' little camera thing?
[01:36:47]  Oh, boy.
[01:36:48]  This is such a funny little thing.
[01:36:50]  What is it?
[01:36:51]  No, Miles obviously has the camera just in case he says something really funny people want to see.
[01:36:55]  You know what I mean?
[01:36:56]  It gets people looped into the action.
[01:36:57]  No one wants to see.
[01:36:58]  No, people want to see.
[01:36:59]  No, people want to see.
[01:37:00]  People get a lot of bad comments.
[01:37:01]  People are demanding it, dude.
[01:37:02]  Get the ham sandwich off screen.
[01:37:04]  People want it.
[01:37:05]  I can't laugh because I'll pee go.
[01:37:10]  I told you good.
[01:37:11]  The last episode, Miles said a really funny joke right at the very beginning before he turned his camera on.
[01:37:15]  Oh, no.
[01:37:16]  Yeah.
[01:37:17]  But did you recreate that show?
[01:37:20]  Sometimes I'll film a pickup.
[01:37:21]  Oh, my God.
[01:37:22]  Oh, he's filming pickups.
[01:37:24]  Alone.
[01:37:25]  Producing pickups.
[01:37:26]  Fucking way.
[01:37:28]  Now, mind you.
[01:37:29]  Alone in the studio.
[01:37:30]  We could do retakes?
[01:37:32]  No, no.
[01:37:33]  All right, let me do a retake.
[01:37:35]  Indian pale ale.
[01:37:38]  That was a long one.
[01:37:38]  That was a long story.
[01:37:40]  So the organization.
[01:37:45]  Get it right.
[01:37:47]  Get it right now.
[01:37:48]  I hate cocaine and all drugs.
[01:37:51]  Now, what is it?
[01:37:52]  What's the organization?
[01:37:54]  Ready to and action.
[01:37:56]  N-A-A-C-P.
[01:37:57]  Nice.
[01:37:58]  There we go.
[01:37:58]  Clock it.
[01:38:07]  Yo, when you first asked me, they'd be like, come on.
[01:38:13]  I got this.
[01:38:18]  The lady has a dog.
[01:38:19]  It keeps barking, waking up with the baby.
[01:38:21]  All right.
[01:38:21]  Can we just add that in, Miles?
[01:38:23]  Oh, he's retelling it not in a gay, flamboyant way that he would do it before.
[01:38:28]  No, I did.
[01:38:29]  I did it pretty good before.
[01:38:30]  Mark, anyway.
[01:38:32]  Do you need a pee?
[01:38:33]  So badly.
[01:38:34]  I need to know real quick before we go to Patreon.
[01:38:38]  Why?
[01:38:39]  Because I need to know, Mark.
[01:38:40]  You look mad right now.
[01:38:43]  I got insane.
[01:38:45]  Oh my god.
[01:38:47]  He's hanging on to it.
[01:38:49]  Push it down.
[01:38:49]  I got to squeeze the hole.
[01:38:53]  Dude, we should get a urinal in here.
[01:38:54]  I used to do it.
[01:38:55]  You never have to leave.
[01:38:56]  No, I used to do that when I was about to nut with this one girl so long ago.
[01:39:02]  I would pinch my hole closed upon nutting, and I thought that that stopped it.
[01:39:10]  So you came to yourself.
[01:39:12]  I came in.
[01:39:14]  Came in me, bro.
[01:39:15]  Why are they calling the solo cream pie?
[01:39:18]  I think, can I be honest with you?
[01:39:21]  Like, as I reflect on this, like 20 years later, I think that's why my sperm doesn't swim because they're like, what's the point?
[01:39:28]  What's the point?
[01:39:29]  I broke it.
[01:39:30]  You need catfish.
[01:39:35]  I nutted in me, bro.
[01:39:38]  The sperms are like, yo, I thought you were leaving.
[01:39:40]  Yeah, no.
[01:39:41]  We're supposed to go.
[01:39:42]  U-turn.
[01:39:44]  Dude, I would pinch it.
[01:39:45]  I just pinch it closed.
[01:39:46]  And then I would just keep pumping.
[01:39:49]  Pinch it closed, keep pumping.
[01:39:50]  But it's got to go somewhere.
[01:39:53]  Mine didn't.
[01:39:55]  Mine did.
[01:39:55]  You know what it would look like?
[01:39:56]  Have you ever seen an albatross collect fish from the water?
[01:40:00]  You know how their gullet just fills?
[01:40:02]  Oh, yeah.
[01:40:03]  That's what would happen with the bottom of my dick.
[01:40:05]  It would just pinch it close.
[01:40:08]  And the bottom would just fill like that.
[01:40:10]  Hell yeah.
[01:40:11]  Would it just fall out?
[01:40:13]  No, I think it stayed in the condom.
[01:40:14]  It's still there to this day.
[01:40:15]  Yeah.
[01:40:16]  Anyway, I recommend that.
[01:40:20]  All right.
[01:40:20]  I recommend.
[01:40:21]  All right.
[01:40:21]  Okay.
[01:40:21]  So were you going to ask us something?
[01:40:23]  Yeah.
[01:40:24]  I was going to ask you.
[01:40:25]  I was going to ask you.
[01:40:27]  Can you tell me?
[01:40:28]  Oh, I got a pee so bad, though.
[01:40:30]  All right.
[01:40:30]  All right.
[01:40:30]  You go pee.
[01:40:31]  Joe dude.
[01:40:32]  He's got it, bro.
[01:40:33]  He's got it.
[01:40:33]  I got a deep red.
[01:40:34]  I'm going to go pee.
[01:40:35]  I'm going to go pee.
[01:40:36]  But then when I come back, we're not going to Patreon yet.
[01:40:40]  No.
[01:40:40]  Okay.
[01:40:41]  Because I got to make a PB.
[01:40:49]  Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow.
[01:40:51]  Yeah.
[01:40:52]  Ow, you're a sh**.
[01:40:52]  I got it.
[01:40:53]  Ow.
[01:40:53]  I got a pee, dude.
[01:40:54]  It's going to be one of those peas where it doesn't even come out immediately.
[01:40:58]  Oh, yeah.
[01:40:58]  Oh, those are the best ones.
[01:41:00]  Plug gates.
[01:41:00]  Yeah.
[01:41:01]  It's going to be a bit more.
[01:41:02]  It comes out, though.
[01:41:03]  It's like a quarter of a nut.
[01:41:06]  What?
[01:41:06]  It feels good.
[01:41:08]  It's like a quarter of a feeling.
[01:41:10]  Quarter is maybe a little high.
[01:41:11]  A quarter's high.
[01:41:12]  Quarter of a nut.
[01:41:15]  I don't get many of those.
[01:41:17]  Maybe I got a little prostate issue.
[01:41:19]  I don't know.
[01:41:19]  Something's going on.
[01:41:22]  I jerked off today, man.
[01:41:25]  You had a question.
[01:41:27]  So I got a question for you.
[01:41:29]  I had a question.
[01:41:30]  Jerking off and having two Guinnesses pre-3 p.m. is a wild day.
[01:41:35]  And fighting about Israel-Palestine.
[01:41:36]  Can I tell you something?
[01:41:38]  Can I tell you something?
[01:41:39]  Yeah.
[01:41:41]  I jerked off today and I opened my eyes.
[01:41:44]  I was in the shower.
[01:41:45]  I opened my eyes for the nut because it's been so long.
[01:41:49]  And I'm like, I got to see where this goes.
[01:41:52]  Like this, there's this could be might be some distance, right?
[01:41:56]  Yeah, dude.
[01:41:57]  I open my eyes.
[01:41:59]  That shit just dribbled down my fucking hand, dude.
[01:42:02]  Did a U-turn?
[01:42:03]  Man.
[01:42:04]  It's a U-turn.
[01:42:06]  First one, it just came out a little and I was kind of like bummed about it.
[01:42:09]  The next one, air.
[01:42:16]  You doubled down?
[01:42:18]  No, no, in all seriousness.
[01:42:26]  No, that shit went, bro.
[01:42:28]  That's crazy.
[01:42:28]  That shit went.
[01:42:29]  I still got it a little bit.
[01:42:32]  I just got to wait for like, I got to hold off about two months.
[01:42:37]  If I wanted to fly, I got to back up for that last bad judgment.
[01:42:42]  Doesn't it just last out?
[01:42:44]  Fuck you.
[01:42:44]  Like, yo, Muggs.
[01:42:45]  Not everybody.
[01:42:46]  You feel like in Christian pumps too much.
[01:42:47]  It comes out weak.
[01:42:49]  Oh, 100%.
[01:42:50]  Yeah.
[01:42:50]  You got to stockpile reserves.
[01:42:52]  And this shit was a lot.
[01:42:53]  Okay, I got a pee.
[01:42:54]  You know what it reminds me of?
[01:42:55]  Oh, God, I got a pee.
[01:42:56]  Heron.
[01:42:57]  Okay.
[01:42:59]  Okay.
[01:43:00]  I'm going to go pee.
[01:43:01]  I'm going to go pee, but then we're going to have one more question.
[01:43:03]  Oh, God.
[01:43:03]  I can't even stand up straight.
[01:43:05]  All right.
[01:43:05]  Well, perfect time to tell you to check out my special debut special, Joey Avery, live in San Francisco.
[01:43:12]  It's on my YouTube.
[01:43:13]  We'll put a comment somewhere with a link.
[01:43:16]  Yeah, yeah.
[01:43:17]  But yeah, please check it out.
[01:43:18]  Thank you, Miles.
[01:43:19]  55 straight minutes of laughs.
[01:43:21]  Yeah.
[01:43:22]  Yeah.
[01:43:22]  It's fun.
[01:43:23]  I'm very happy with it.
[01:43:24]  People should check it out.
[01:43:27]  They'll like.
[01:43:28]  Well, how can he answer that?
[01:43:29]  No, people shouldn't check it out.
[01:43:30]  No, it's more of a test.
[01:43:31]  Well, they should check it out.
[01:43:31]  It's more of a test.
[01:43:32]  I'm just kind of skin.
[01:43:33]  What if I was just like, nah, if you want to.
[01:43:35]  Well, I don't know.
[01:43:36]  It's just, you know, I just completely self-funded it, independently produced and released.
[01:43:41]  And it's been, you know, decade of plus of work and leading up to this moment.
[01:43:46]  And even being here to share it with you is a very nice moment for me.
[01:43:51]  Check it out.
[01:43:51]  Yeah.
[01:43:52]  Check it out.
[01:43:53]  That's it.
[01:43:54]  Yeah.
[01:43:54]  Have you gotten good reviews?
[01:43:55]  Very good reviews.
[01:43:56]  Yeah.
[01:43:57]  It's been a great, it's been out for like a day as of taping this, and the first day was everything we hoped for, but let's run it up.
[01:44:03]  Have you gotten any bad reviews from possibly like very close to home places?
[01:44:08]  Yes.
[01:44:09]  Is there some you know?
[01:44:10]  Miles does know something that I said that I'm going to have to straighten out later today.
[01:44:15]  But I don't know who was bumped.
[01:44:20]  No.
[01:44:22]  There's some stuff that was about a very unique time that was happening in my family, and a lot has changed since then.
[01:44:29]  And I make some jokes that if you listen to them fully, they actually are like vindicating her, but they, as comedy often does, come out a little bit rough.
[01:44:39]  And I've heard from sources that maybe she's not the most pumped, and that bums me out.
[01:44:43]  So they give her a call.
[01:44:44]  Y'all whites and y'all mommy ish.
[01:44:46]  I swear to God, you call your mom autistic in your set.
[01:44:50]  This motherfucker, like, I don't know what you said about your body.
[01:44:53]  It's not that crazy.
[01:44:54]  You know, if she doesn't like your debut special, I think you know what?
[01:45:00]  The only way to find out is to watch the special.
[01:45:04]  Joey Avery Live in San Francisco.
[01:45:07]  The best.
[01:45:08]  All right.
[01:45:10]  Have you guys never had a hemorrhoid?
[01:45:11]  I had one.
[01:45:12]  For what reason?
[01:45:18]  For what reason did you have it?
[01:45:19]  It's not religious.
[01:45:19]  I got a reason for my hemorrhoid.
[01:45:21]  What reason did you have?
[01:45:23]  That's when you got the monkeypox, remember?
[01:45:27]  This guy's a grown man with fucking monkeypox going through.
[01:45:30]  She had chickenpox, but during the monkeypox epidemic.
[01:45:33]  Yeah.
[01:45:34]  It was a tough look.
[01:45:35]  I try to explain it off.
[01:45:36]  Still calling it chickenpox.
[01:45:37]  Yeah, you might have had that.
[01:45:41]  You had that curious George.
[01:45:45]  My curious George.
[01:45:46]  My curious George.
[01:45:49]  No.
[01:45:49]  Okay.
[01:45:49]  So, can you tell me why you had a hemorrhoid?
[01:45:52]  I think I was just scrolling.
[01:45:53]  I was just strolling too long and I was just sitting there.
[01:45:56]  I think it was like right after I got the bidet.
[01:45:58]  And I was just hanging and just quiet alone.
[01:46:02]  Yeah.
[01:46:03]  Don't you do that every time you poop?
[01:46:05]  No.
[01:46:06]  How high are you turning the speed of the water?
[01:46:08]  No, you can't.
[01:46:09]  Because if you go too bro, you might have cut your ass.
[01:46:12]  No, wait, hold on.
[01:46:13]  Whoa.
[01:46:14]  Hold on.
[01:46:17]  Shit.
[01:46:18]  No, it's just normal.
[01:46:19]  I just put it on normal.
[01:46:20]  But I mean, sometimes you got to be careful.
[01:46:23]  I have pushed the wrong one.
[01:46:24]  I pushed the woman's button.
[01:46:25]  Oh, you're done.
[01:46:26]  Oh, yeah.
[01:46:28]  That should feel good.
[01:46:29]  No, it doesn't look good.
[01:46:30]  That shit feels good.
[01:46:31]  That sounds good.
[01:46:31]  Awesome.
[01:46:32]  I'll go back and forth.
[01:46:33]  I'll go back and forth.
[01:46:35]  I had a girl lick that area once.
[01:46:36]  Yeah.
[01:46:37]  And I feel like in that moment, I was like, man, like, I think we did all derive from women.
[01:46:44]  You know how, like, you start out as women in the womb, and then testosterone masculinizes the brain.
[01:46:49]  And then that's why you have the brain.
[01:46:52]  But like, so, like, when she was licking it, it was like, I felt like I had a pussy for a little bit.
[01:46:57]  I did.
[01:46:57]  You were a goddess.
[01:46:59]  You were a goddess.
[01:47:00]  I don't know if I was a goddess, but I was like, oh, there's some remnants of labia.
[01:47:04]  I feel like I got labia remnants.
[01:47:06]  Maybe we're all responsible for war.
[01:47:08]  Thank you.
[01:47:09]  You know what I mean?
[01:47:10]  Thank you.
[01:47:11]  Yes.
[01:47:12]  Clock.
[01:47:12]  Yeah, shit.
[01:47:15]  Clock that shit.
[01:47:18]  You never had a girl lick around that Gucci.
[01:47:20]  All right, look, we're stopping this episode right now.
[01:47:22]  We need to go to Patreon.
[01:47:24]  Okay.
[01:47:25]  Patreon.
[01:47:26]  I don't even know what part we've stopped it at.
[01:47:28]  Miles told us that we have to stop.
[01:47:29]  It's getting a little bit spicy.
[01:47:32]  Okay.
[01:47:32]  Talking about it.
[01:47:36]  I don't even know.
[01:47:37]  I don't even know.
[01:47:38]  There's a little fun.
[01:47:42]  We reminisce it a little.
[01:47:43]  Reminisced?
[01:47:44]  Yeah.
[01:47:45]  We're going to Patreon right now.
[01:47:46]  Patreon.com slash flagrant.
[01:47:48]  See you guys there.