Flagrant - Andrew Schulz & Akaash Singh - Mo Amer on American vs Arabic Culture, DJ Khaled Beef, & Palestinian Pride
Aired: 2025-11-20
Duration: 01:32:53


=== Orange Peels and Tax Fears (07:19) ===

[00:00:00]  God forbid you take my citizenship and I have to move to a tax-free country.
[00:00:03]  How close are you just moving every five?
[00:00:05]  Every day!
[00:00:08]  You gotta come to India.
[00:00:10]  We gotta go to the dung festival.
[00:00:11]  What's a dung festival?
[00:00:12]  No, no, there's not.
[00:00:14]  You want to go to the dung?
[00:00:16]  Come on, bro.
[00:00:16]  That's King Kai for everybody.
[00:00:18]  What was Adam and Eve?
[00:00:19]  What were they?
[00:00:20]  Who were they?
[00:00:20]  That's a good question.
[00:00:21]  Maybe white people can tell us that.
[00:00:23]  I mean, if we're Christian.
[00:00:24]  They're a business.
[00:00:26]  Adam might have been Indian, bro.
[00:00:27]  Because he was made from mud.
[00:00:31]  All right, it's getting good, guys.
[00:00:32]  I ain't showing this looks like the front of a mosque right here.
[00:00:38]  That's why we're icebergs.
[00:00:39]  There's a contention center right behind us.
[00:00:42]  That's so up.
[00:00:43]  That's genuinely what's happening with ICE.
[00:00:45]  It's really diabolical.
[00:00:46]  It is.
[00:00:47]  It's so fucked up.
[00:00:47]  And who's going to finish your roof?
[00:00:52]  I get the podcast now.
[00:00:53]  I get it.
[00:00:54]  Yeah, yeah.
[00:00:56]  Let me tell you something.
[00:00:57]  I want to pick out podcast couches.
[00:01:00]  You're comfortable.
[00:01:01]  Let me switch you.
[00:01:05]  Let me give you some Middle Eastern.
[00:01:09]  Come here.
[00:01:11]  Sit up.
[00:01:11]  I'm not going to swear.
[00:01:13]  I'm not going to swear.
[00:01:15]  Everybody's going to think it's weird.
[00:01:17]  Nobody's going to think it's weird.
[00:01:18]  Nobody's going to think it's weird.
[00:01:20]  Let me see.
[00:01:20]  Maybe it's not that good, but we're good.
[00:01:22]  We got this.
[00:01:24]  What's up, everybody?
[00:01:24]  Welcome to Flagrant.
[00:01:25]  And today we are here with our boy Mo Amer.
[00:01:29]  New Netflix special out.
[00:01:30]  Wild Worlds.
[00:01:31]  Go check it right now.
[00:01:33]  Talking cash shit right up top.
[00:01:36]  Let's go.
[00:01:37]  Okay.
[00:01:37]  About the world's most famous Palestinian.
[00:01:41]  Is he?
[00:01:42]  I didn't even know.
[00:01:42]  No, I'm saying.
[00:01:43]  Nobody.
[00:01:44]  Every time I say something, like, is he Palestinian?
[00:01:47]  We didn't even know he's Palestinian.
[00:01:48]  Yeah, why do you think he hasn't spoken at all?
[00:01:50]  I don't know.
[00:01:51]  It's a question that's more geared toward him than me, I think.
[00:01:54]  I don't hate to speculate.
[00:01:56]  Talk with him?
[00:01:57]  I mean, Akash knows Kafia.
[00:01:59]  We've met.
[00:01:59]  We've met.
[00:02:01]  I'm like, you feel comfortable.
[00:02:07]  I'm so glad he wear black and white today.
[00:02:09]  Usually I always wear black and white.
[00:02:11]  It would have been really wild if we moved here.
[00:02:13]  You know, ICE is out here when you wear the fucking Canadian tuxedo.
[00:02:16]  Someone's showing up alone.
[00:02:19]  You're a citizen now, bro.
[00:02:21]  You got a passport?
[00:02:22]  I have, yeah.
[00:02:23]  Nobody can tell you shit.
[00:02:24]  Well, they can, actually.
[00:02:25]  They can take it away, actually.
[00:02:26]  They can just do whatever they want.
[00:02:28]  Damn, no, not Mo.
[00:02:29]  We need Mo.
[00:02:30]  No, no.
[00:02:30]  You can't take my citizenship.
[00:02:31]  We need Mo.
[00:02:32]  Please don't.
[00:02:32]  Okay?
[00:02:33]  Have a son.
[00:02:34]  God forbid you take my citizenship and I have to move to a tax-free country.
[00:02:38]  Like, God forbid.
[00:02:39]  You know, how close are you to just move everybody?
[00:02:42]  When you pay taxes, every day!
[00:02:48]  Set up the P.O. Mo.
[00:02:49]  We're school shooting.
[00:02:50]  I'm like, we can't raise my son.
[00:02:53]  You ain't pissed off.
[00:02:55]  It's not like it used to be.
[00:02:56]  We got to make moves, baby.
[00:02:58]  We got to make moves.
[00:02:58]  You just got to wait 15 seconds for the next one.
[00:03:01]  It's really sad, though.
[00:03:03]  That is.
[00:03:03]  It is like...
[00:03:04]  But when you throw fucked up, bro.
[00:03:08]  He tried to downshift.
[00:03:09]  He said, it's really sad.
[00:03:11]  I know.
[00:03:13]  You know, after the joke.
[00:03:15]  After the joke.
[00:03:16]  No, after the joke.
[00:03:17]  You get to settle in and feel how fucked up everything is.
[00:03:21]  You have to say it out loud.
[00:03:22]  Are you talking about the school shootings or taxation?
[00:03:25]  Both.
[00:03:26]  Okay, both.
[00:03:26]  Because you're from Houston, so you shouldn't be complaining about this.
[00:03:29]  No, I'm not.
[00:03:29]  I'm not complaining, bro.
[00:03:30]  Because out here, you know it's wild.
[00:03:32]  It's much, much worse.
[00:03:33]  Yeah, I heard.
[00:03:35]  I've never left Texas.
[00:03:35]  I'm going to leave Texas.
[00:03:36]  Never.
[00:03:37]  I'm in Texas.
[00:03:38]  What's the most...
[00:03:39]  You've been all over America.
[00:03:40]  What's the most Middle Eastern part of America without them realizing it is?
[00:03:44]  Without them realizing?
[00:03:46]  Yeah, like, where's like the white people in America?
[00:03:48]  Yeah, where are the most, not where are the most Middle Eastern people?
[00:03:50]  Where are the most white people who act Middle Eastern?
[00:03:52]  But they don't even realize it.
[00:03:53]  Like, you, you.
[00:03:54]  Basically, the entire South.
[00:03:56]  So the South is way more Middle Eastern than God, country, family.
[00:04:02]  This is why I get along with my neighbors.
[00:04:03]  Hey, Scott, how you doing?
[00:04:04]  You know, like, it's like, you feel that shit.
[00:04:07]  You're there for each other when shit goes down.
[00:04:10]  Like, they're very fucking out of you.
[00:04:12]  Yeah, they feed the fuck out of you.
[00:04:13]  I've rolled up on my neighbor before.
[00:04:15]  He's like just gutting a deer.
[00:04:18]  I'm like, what are you doing?
[00:04:20]  He was like, it's pretty self-explanatory, bro.
[00:04:22]  The goddamn deer.
[00:04:23]  You know what I mean?
[00:04:24]  And just like making deer sauce.
[00:04:26]  Yeah, I don't know.
[00:04:26]  It just feels, it just reminds me of my childhood.
[00:04:30]  It does.
[00:04:30]  Because I think I was like six or seven years old the first time I saw an animal being good.
[00:04:35]  This is in Kuwait?
[00:04:36]  This was in Kuwait.
[00:04:37]  Yeah.
[00:04:37]  Okay.
[00:04:38]  So you're born and raised in Kuwait for a few years, at least.
[00:04:41]  Like until nine years?
[00:04:42]  Yeah, nine years old.
[00:04:43]  And then the Gulf War happens.
[00:04:44]  Saddam Hussein goes into Kuwait.
[00:04:46]  I end up in Houston, Texas.
[00:04:47]  You guys dipped.
[00:04:48]  We dipped.
[00:04:49]  We stayed for the, well, I stayed with my sister, my family for like the first two and a half months.
[00:04:55]  And then my mom got myself and my sister out of there.
[00:04:59]  And then we ended up in Houston, yeah.
[00:05:01]  Now, is this a real story?
[00:05:03]  I heard this story about your mom sewing money into the suitcases.
[00:05:08]  Yeah, I put it in season one of my show.
[00:05:10]  It's absolutely true.
[00:05:10]  But that's from real life.
[00:05:11]  Absolutely true.
[00:05:12]  So she actually sewed it in the lining of her purse.
[00:05:16]  And so I was just remembering, just watching my mom, like, who is this human being?
[00:05:20]  It's like, you don't know who your parents are until like something like this happened.
[00:05:23]  Yeah.
[00:05:24]  Like, you don't know if they're good under pressure or horrible under pressure.
[00:05:26]  My parents were unbelievable under pressure.
[00:05:28]  Yeah.
[00:05:29]  And it's like the first time you see them so uneasy when everything has been so wonderful up until then.
[00:05:35]  And you just see her like turn it on.
[00:05:38]  And yeah, she sews it in the lining of the purse.
[00:05:40]  And she was getting my sister and I out.
[00:05:42]  The whole plan was, I'm going to get my sister and get, you know, my sister and I out of there.
[00:05:46]  She was going to come back to Kuwait, finish out everything else, and then meet us in the States.
[00:05:52]  That was the whole idea.
[00:05:53]  And so on the way to Jordan, we had to stop in Baghdad and they were searching all the suitcases because they were finding any valuables they would just take them or tax you or whatever.
[00:06:04]  Yeah, yeah.
[00:06:05]  You know, you got to pay a fee.
[00:06:06]  You know what I mean?
[00:06:07]  So that's what the thing was.
[00:06:08]  So my, so, uh, so my mom stayed on the bus actually and she like, because she had a little bit of money left over and she just didn't know where else to put it.
[00:06:16]  So she just like hid it under clothes.
[00:06:18]  Right.
[00:06:18]  Well, they were just throwing the clothes out of the suitcase.
[00:06:21]  She was like, oh my God.
[00:06:22]  So she told my sister and I to get off the bus.
[00:06:24]  And while they were searching everything, the soldier sees my mom never got off of there.
[00:06:28]  But while she was on the bus by herself, she messed up all the clothes.
[00:06:31]  She had some like orange peels from the drive.
[00:06:35]  So she just poured all the trash all over it.
[00:06:37]  And then the soldier comes up on there.
[00:06:39]  He's like, starts yelling at her.
[00:06:41]  The sergeant sees him yelling at a woman.
[00:06:43]  He gets pissed off at him.
[00:06:44]  He jumps on the bus.
[00:06:45]  He's like, what's wrong with you?
[00:06:47]  You know, look at her suitcase.
[00:06:48]  It's obviously been searched on her.
[00:06:50]  She's got orange peels everywhere.
[00:06:51]  Everywhere.
[00:06:51]  She says, look at her.
[00:06:52]  Such a good thing.
[00:06:52]  She's such a good thing.
[00:06:54]  And she goes, look at her face.
[00:06:55]  That's not a face of a liar.
[00:06:56]  And he goes, apologize to her.
[00:06:58]  And we left him.
[00:07:00]  My mom fucking pulled that off in the most stressful circumstances.
[00:07:03]  I thought we were.
[00:07:04]  I heard that.
[00:07:05]  That's just a snippet of it.
[00:07:06]  No, no, I want to get into all of it.
[00:07:08]  But I heard after season one came out, they executed that soldier.
[00:07:11]  No, he probably died of natural causes.
[00:07:16]  He was like, probably 16.

=== Trash, Soldiers, and Suitcases (16:17) ===

[00:07:20]  God, bro.
[00:07:21]  I hope this kid.
[00:07:22]  How you reached out to him?
[00:07:22]  We got to reach out to him.
[00:07:24]  I don't know how to get a hold of him.
[00:07:25]  I was nine years old.
[00:07:26]  Good old orange peels, man.
[00:07:27]  This is how we're going to kick this off.
[00:07:28]  Yo, this is how we're kicking it off.
[00:07:30]  Oh, I'm talking about DJ Collin.
[00:07:32]  He's never seen orange peels.
[00:07:33]  Yeah, he's never seen it.
[00:07:36]  I heard he just eats it whole.
[00:07:40]  He's like a hippopotamus.
[00:07:41]  He thought it was just an apple.
[00:07:43]  It was the same thing.
[00:07:44]  He just like, you know, living life.
[00:07:47]  Yeah, yeah.
[00:07:47]  There's nothing really to say about him, to be honest with you.
[00:07:50]  It was more so I opened the special that way.
[00:07:52]  And even like I'm saying this now, you're not going to see it coming.
[00:07:55]  You know, it's really just a dope opening to something that I've never seen in a stand-up special before.
[00:08:00]  So, I wanted to do it that way.
[00:08:02]  But, but yeah, it's just like I was kind of like the idea is that over the last two years of writing a TV show of the only Palestinian television show in the history of American television and feeling all the stress of that.
[00:08:14]  And then at the same time, you're kind of seeing what everybody else is saying and what they're doing and what's going on.
[00:08:20]  You know, as comedians, that's what we do.
[00:08:22]  We say the thing out loud that everybody's thinking, but nobody's saying.
[00:08:25]  So, when I do that, and I've done that, you know, that opening line in like 30 countries and they go crazy, they fucking lose their minds.
[00:08:37]  Yeah, finally, somebody said it.
[00:08:41]  Is there a part of you like when you see that opening line just crushing so hard?
[00:08:45]  Is there a little part of you that's like, I hope that motherfucker doesn't come on board now?
[00:08:48]  Yeah, you can't take it.
[00:08:50]  No, as a matter of fact, it is a lifeline, but it's been intended to be a lifeline.
[00:08:57]  Like, yes, it's not too much.
[00:08:59]  Oh, it's not too late.
[00:09:00]  No, it is.
[00:09:01]  It is from a lot of people's minds for sure.
[00:09:02]  It is too late because it's going to look fake no matter what, right?
[00:09:05]  Yeah.
[00:09:06]  But it's like the opening line, and then there's the ending of the special where I do this time bit.
[00:09:11]  It's like a poem, you know, slash comedy bit, slash, you know, trying to encapsulate everything that's been going on the last two years.
[00:09:20]  And in that portion, I do, you know, it's like a, it's like, hey, it's never too late kind of thing.
[00:09:25]  It's never too late.
[00:09:26]  It's a chance for him to do something about it.
[00:09:29]  Is it wild to see like American, like in your lifetime?
[00:09:32]  Is it wild to see Americans start to care about the struggle?
[00:09:37]  Yes.
[00:09:38]  Yes.
[00:09:38]  What is that like?
[00:09:39]  Do you feel confusing almost to see it?
[00:09:42]  No, it's more like about time.
[00:09:44]  Of course, that feeling is because it's like I've been talking about it for so long, and there's been a like a massive struggle for me in the business itself.
[00:09:52]  Yeah.
[00:09:52]  And all the hurdles that I've had and like of telling me, change your name, go to LA, don't tell me you're Palestinian.
[00:09:57]  Like, whoa, whoa, whoa, what's going on?
[00:09:58]  Like, why do I have to do that?
[00:10:00]  Like, I just never really understood that fully.
[00:10:02]  I got it, but I didn't understand it fully, to be honest with you.
[00:10:05]  What made you stay true?
[00:10:07]  It's an impossible.
[00:10:08]  What am I going to do?
[00:10:09]  I can't pretend to be something else.
[00:10:11]  Stand-up is the essence of stand-up is being yourself on stage.
[00:10:14]  And it takes years of practice to be yourself on stage.
[00:10:18]  And just shifting that, you know, you'll be something else.
[00:10:22]  I mean, you could think of an example, probably.
[00:10:24]  Yes.
[00:10:26]  Who, who, who?
[00:10:26]  Carlos Monceau.
[00:10:32]  I don't want to start that.
[00:10:33]  You would set me up for something.
[00:10:34]  I was going on.
[00:10:35]  I was holding you saying, to be honest with you.
[00:10:37]  Yo, but come on.
[00:10:38]  Come on, Andrew.
[00:10:39]  Yo, the thing about Carlos, though, is that he looks so Mexican.
[00:10:42]  Yes, yes.
[00:10:43]  Honduras.
[00:10:44]  He got treated whatever racism Mexicans get, he probably caught that.
[00:10:47]  Yeah, like if you look at it, yeah, no, for sure, for sure.
[00:10:50]  I'm saying, like, it would be a part of my case.
[00:10:52]  Al is Al is Al, are you even black?
[00:10:55]  You can't tell?
[00:10:56]  Well, yeah, that's fucked up.
[00:10:57]  No, but like, we're not gonna stay for this, man.
[00:11:00]  Hold on, hold on.
[00:11:01]  Black people can speak up here.
[00:11:05]  What percentage are you?
[00:11:06]  I'm 50% black.
[00:11:08]  Okay, so you get to say it.
[00:11:09]  You get to say it.
[00:11:13]  I can say what, bro.
[00:11:14]  It's a declaration.
[00:11:16]  You can say that word that he says with cats are wrong.
[00:11:21]  Can I tell you something?
[00:11:23]  He said that word with sand in front of it.
[00:11:26]  It's too damn funny to diminish so powerful.
[00:11:29]  When you first heard the sand version, what did that feel like?
[00:11:34]  It was 9-11.
[00:11:35]  It was like I've been in the country like 10 years.
[00:11:38]  I didn't even know this slur even exists.
[00:11:40]  9-11 as far as some fire racing.
[00:11:41]  Some real fire racism.
[00:11:43]  Can we admit that?
[00:11:44]  You didn't even catch racism until 9-11?
[00:11:46]  No, in Houston, it was like, yeah, of course.
[00:11:56]  And we're talking about Houston, by the way.
[00:11:58]  He says the N-words.
[00:11:59]  It's the most diverse city.
[00:12:01]  I don't know anything about this.
[00:12:02]  It's the most diverse city in America.
[00:12:03]  Legit.
[00:12:04]  100%.
[00:12:04]  It is the most diverse city in America.
[00:12:06]  And the more diverse.
[00:12:08]  It is.
[00:12:08]  And they love telling you that.
[00:12:10]  It's a fact.
[00:12:11]  There's a lot of Houstons, bro.
[00:12:12]  It's a fact.
[00:12:13]  And they love telling you that after they say the N-words.
[00:12:17]  That's their justification.
[00:12:18]  Yeah, yeah.
[00:12:19]  No, I heard that New York is the most diverse.
[00:12:23]  Feel free to just make up what it is.
[00:12:24]  I'm just saying.
[00:12:25]  And we're going off.
[00:12:26]  What do you do?
[00:12:27]  You're going off of Tom.
[00:12:28]  Forbes magazine, which is never wrong.
[00:12:32]  It's the most diverse city in America.
[00:12:33]  Forbes said that shit.
[00:12:34]  But in New York, like, we don't fill out the census, so nobody, it's only white people fill out the New York City.
[00:12:38]  They're just feeling a lot of census in Houston.
[00:12:40]  I think they tripped.
[00:12:42]  Yo, Rhode Island.
[00:12:44]  My bad, I missed you guys last time, but we're coming back.
[00:12:48]  Okay.
[00:12:48]  We're coming back.
[00:12:50]  Providence, Rhode Island, March 28th.
[00:12:52]  This is the only show that I have on schedule right now.
[00:12:56]  Providence Performing Arts Center, great comedy festival they got going on out there.
[00:13:01]  I'll be honest, this might be their first year.
[00:13:04]  I'm not exactly sure, but we're going to be there.
[00:13:07]  We'll see you out there March 28th, TheandraSouls.com for ticks.
[00:13:11]  Peace.
[00:13:11]  Also, guys, tour dates, there's only one I care about right now.
[00:13:15]  This is a literal dream come true.
[00:13:16]  Radio fucking city music hall.
[00:13:21]  Thank everybody who watches podcast.
[00:13:23]  Thank all of y'all.
[00:13:23]  I love you guys.
[00:13:24]  April 18th.
[00:13:26]  We're pulling up.
[00:13:26]  Sell that shit out.
[00:13:27]  Let's pull it up.
[00:13:28]  I promise you it's going to be the best show I've ever done.
[00:13:30]  Hopefully the best show you've ever been to.
[00:13:32]  AkashSing.com for tickets.
[00:13:33]  Pre-sale is live now.
[00:13:35]  Use the code Akash.
[00:13:36]  I love y'all.
[00:13:37]  Let's get back to the show.
[00:13:37]  Live now.
[00:13:38]  Suck is there.
[00:13:38]  Live.
[00:13:40]  Suck is there.
[00:13:41]  Suck is there.
[00:13:42]  But for real, light it up.
[00:13:44]  Go get those tickets right now.
[00:13:45]  We're all showing up.
[00:13:46]  April 18th.
[00:13:47]  18th.
[00:13:48]  Radio City Music Hall.
[00:13:49]  Let's do it.
[00:13:50]  What's up, guys?
[00:13:51]  Just really quick.
[00:13:51]  I'm going on the road.
[00:13:52]  I'm being Philadelphia, 4-Wade, Indiana.
[00:13:56]  That's that.
[00:13:58]  Damn, another.
[00:13:59]  Okay, I'm also going to Chicago, Hoboken, and a bunch of other cities.
[00:14:03]  I'll see you guys there.
[00:14:04]  Thanks so much.
[00:14:04]  MarkAcknonLive.com.
[00:14:06]  Legit.
[00:14:06]  Like the neighborhood I grew up in, A-Leaf, which is like just had so many amazing people come out of there.
[00:14:15]  It has like 90 languages spoken in that neighborhood alone.
[00:14:18]  It's pretty proud of it.
[00:14:19]  It's according to the school system.
[00:14:21]  Houston is like the first level of the video game of America.
[00:14:24]  Yes.
[00:14:25]  For like immigrants.
[00:14:26]  You know, like if America was kind of complicit in doing some fuck shit to your country, we go, all right, y'all can come, but you've got to survive Houston.
[00:14:34]  And then after that, you get to have this American experience.
[00:14:37]  Because didn't all like the Cambodians go there and like the Vietnamese.
[00:14:41]  No, Vietnamese as well.
[00:14:43]  I don't know about the Cambodian population, but I know there's a huge Vietnamese population and a huge Nigerian population as well.
[00:14:49]  100%.
[00:14:49]  And I'm sure you could tell the difference, obviously, between the Cambodians and Vietnamese just off of looking at it.
[00:14:54]  Impossible.
[00:14:58]  Let's just say Vietnamese.
[00:14:59]  Shout out to Cambodians, though.
[00:15:00]  For real.
[00:15:01]  We love y'all.
[00:15:01]  We appreciate y'all.
[00:15:03]  And we're glad the war stopped.
[00:15:04]  I'm sacking with this studio in today.
[00:15:06]  Yo, tell them.
[00:15:08]  We need to repair it.
[00:15:11]  Oh, my.
[00:15:12]  Shout out to Cambodians.
[00:15:14]  Cambodians.
[00:15:15]  The Bodians.
[00:15:18]  Listen, Mo is on here.
[00:15:19]  Obviously, we're talking reckless.
[00:15:21]  You know what I mean?
[00:15:22]  Listen, we're the only people in America right now that believe that Muslims should hear jokes.
[00:15:30]  I think we're the only one, two, what are we, five of us?
[00:15:33]  We're the only five comedians that believe that.
[00:15:35]  It's so how did you feel about when?
[00:15:38]  It's so disgusting, bro.
[00:15:39]  It's the whole you talking about.
[00:15:42]  It's so disgusting.
[00:15:42]  I could not wait to talk to you about it because it's so disgusting, bro.
[00:15:45]  It's a final.
[00:15:46]  Find it so wildly appalling.
[00:15:49]  First of all, like even the comedians that went there talking about it, and they liked it.
[00:15:53]  They fucking laughed.
[00:15:54]  Like they're shocked.
[00:15:57]  Just hearing some of the fucking comments, bro.
[00:15:59]  Or even like the guys on podcasts talking about, oh, we're making jokes.
[00:16:02]  The guys that didn't get invited, that didn't get to go to the shows talking about no, no, no, no, doing this kind of shit.
[00:16:07]  Fuck you too.
[00:16:08]  What was that?
[00:16:09]  Fuck you too.
[00:16:10]  Did you understand what he was saying?
[00:16:11]  Yes.
[00:16:12]  What did he say?
[00:16:13]  No, they were like, it was like there was a podcast.
[00:16:16]  No, no, this bullshit, bro.
[00:16:17]  It's like really, really upsetting because they think it's like, I wish I got that bag from Saudi.
[00:16:22]  It's straight up.
[00:16:23]  Exactly.
[00:16:23]  It's just straight up that like casual racism of it all is fucking insane.
[00:16:27]  It's the bigotry low expectations.
[00:16:30]  It's insane, bro.
[00:16:31]  It's so wildly appalling.
[00:16:32]  And then, first of all, for me, from my perspective, bro, I'm a Palestinian roaming around in these streets.
[00:16:38]  Like, no matter where I go, I'm dealing with something.
[00:16:40]  And also, like, me going to that region, going to Saudi Arabia, going to Riyadh itself, how many Palestinians that reached out to me after the show that brought their kids, man.
[00:16:50]  I'm so like, it makes me emotional, bro.
[00:16:52]  Yeah.
[00:16:53]  That my kids got to see you on stage, got to say the things that you got to say.
[00:16:57]  And it was completely free reigning, got to do what you want to do.
[00:17:00]  So fuck you for your casual racism.
[00:17:02]  Fuck you for not wanting to push the needle forward.
[00:17:05]  Fuck you for not like, even, even like considering of being upset that the film industry's there, NFL is there, UFC, everybody, everything, Mr. B. Everybody's there.
[00:17:19]  And you want to pick on comics, the most freest art form on planet Earth.
[00:17:23]  Probably the last free art form on planet Earth.
[00:17:26]  We can actually push the needle forward.
[00:17:27]  And you're talking about this is the issue.
[00:17:29]  I find huge, huge beef with that.
[00:17:32]  And you're talking about like 284 journalists killed in Gaza and nothing about that.
[00:17:37]  Nobody's like having a beef with doing shows and television or anything like that.
[00:17:43]  Fuck that, bro.
[00:17:44]  Talk your shit.
[00:17:45]  I'm being, this is the truth.
[00:17:46]  We the best.
[00:17:48]  We the best comedy.
[00:17:51]  Yes, comedy with best.
[00:17:52]  No, it's like, it's like, I really, I really find it to be appalling, bro.
[00:17:55]  The casual racism isn't fucking insane.
[00:17:58]  And I'm a Muslim.
[00:17:59]  I'm a Muslim.
[00:18:00]  My brother's buried there down the street.
[00:18:03]  You couldn't stop me from going there and performing for my own people.
[00:18:06]  And as far as money is concerned, it was very much like in line of what I get paid in the Middle East.
[00:18:12]  It wasn't like I went out there and like, oh my God, I got six yachts.
[00:18:15]  No, it's very much in line for what I want to pay.
[00:18:18]  Tell them how rich.
[00:18:18]  Tell them how rich you are.
[00:18:20]  Tell them.
[00:18:20]  I'm not that rich.
[00:18:22]  I just got this money.
[00:18:23]  I pay all the taxes.
[00:18:25]  That's the one thing I don't fuck around with in America.
[00:18:27]  I pay all the taxes.
[00:18:28]  Yeah, I'm more afraid of those three letters than I used to.
[00:18:35]  100%.
[00:18:37]  I don't give a fuck.
[00:18:38]  I'm comfortable.
[00:18:39]  I've been in worse situations than in a detention center.
[00:18:41]  I'll just be chilling.
[00:18:42]  I've made good things happen in that detention center.
[00:18:44]  I love that that's your perspective.
[00:18:45]  And maybe like ours is different because we performed in the Middle East before, so we knew what to expect of that.
[00:18:51]  But the funniest thing is when you see these people who identify as very progressive, and it's like their expectations of people are so low that it doesn't match up with the progressive ideals.
[00:19:03]  Yes.
[00:19:03]  You know what I mean?
[00:19:04]  Like, I couldn't believe you do that.
[00:19:05]  Like, I couldn't believe it.
[00:19:06]  I couldn't believe it.
[00:19:07]  I just can't believe you would just go and perform for these animals.
[00:19:10]  Let's just say it.
[00:19:12]  Yo, fucking.
[00:19:12]  Say it.
[00:19:13]  Say it.
[00:19:13]  Just say it.
[00:19:14]  Exactly.
[00:19:14]  Just say it.
[00:19:15]  And I've been dealing with this shit my whole life and I don't want to hear anything about it, especially like from comedians attacking other comedians.
[00:19:21]  It's really fucked up.
[00:19:22]  And I just really don't like that.
[00:19:24]  And that's not where we need to be as comedians.
[00:19:26]  We need to be, you know, more thoughtful and have real dialogue and not just trying to throw people under the bus for absolutely no reason.
[00:19:33]  I'm just really just shocked by it.
[00:19:34]  I was really, really blown away by it.
[00:19:37]  I couldn't believe it.
[00:19:38]  Houston, my hometown, the place where I brought the first ever narrative sitcom, you know, to that spot is millions of dollars of revenue is coming to that city from me bringing a show way more than I ever made on a TV show.
[00:19:51]  And, you know, I stood for Houston.
[00:19:53]  I love Houston.
[00:19:53]  I still live in Houston.
[00:19:55]  That's my town.
[00:19:55]  That's my shit.
[00:19:56]  They couldn't wait to shit on it.
[00:19:58]  No.
[00:19:58]  Couldn't wait to shit on it.
[00:19:59]  Really?
[00:20:00]  Somebody putting it out there like, shame on you.
[00:20:02]  Shame on you, motherfuckers.
[00:20:04]  Shame on you.
[00:20:05]  Shame on you.
[00:20:06]  All I've done is give up so much.
[00:20:07]  You think it was easy to film in Houston?
[00:20:10]  You think that was the easy pitch to fucking go to Netflix and be like, hey, I want to really film this as realistically as possible, as ground as possible.
[00:20:16]  In Houston, Texas, a place that has no structure for film and television.
[00:20:20]  And the moment, the moment I go over there, you want to throw me in there and fuck you for Houston Chronicle.
[00:20:26]  Yeah.
[00:20:26]  But you already been over there.
[00:20:28]  I've already been over there.
[00:20:28]  I've been over there.
[00:20:29]  And I'm also, I'm a Muslim, bro.
[00:20:30]  I'm a Muslim.
[00:20:31]  It's an obligation to go to Mecca.
[00:20:33]  I have to go to Mecca as well.
[00:20:34]  It's like part of that system.
[00:20:36]  And my brother's buried there.
[00:20:37]  I lost my brother three weeks before my first season came out.
[00:20:40]  Like, how dare you?
[00:20:41]  How dare you?
[00:20:42]  How dare you?
[00:20:43]  I want to give you a chance to push back.
[00:20:44]  This is people say, like, well, the government paid and you're accepting money from the government.
[00:20:49]  I want you to speak on that.
[00:20:50]  What do you mean?
[00:20:51]  Dad, somehow that makes it immoral.
[00:20:54]  I don't agree.
[00:20:55]  Where does all this money come from?
[00:20:56]  It all has one source.
[00:20:57]  This has nothing to do with it.
[00:20:58]  I sold tickets there.
[00:20:59]  That's where I think about it.
[00:21:00]  I think about going there as pre-negotiated.
[00:21:02]  I go there and do that.
[00:21:03]  Nobody's sitting there.
[00:21:04]  No royal family sitting there writing checks to you to do that.
[00:21:06]  It's part of a big fun.
[00:21:08]  Yeah, I think they don't realize that people had to buy tickets to go to the store.
[00:21:10]  Yeah, people had to buy tickets to go to the show.
[00:21:12]  To be honest, I wish they did.
[00:21:13]  They booked free.
[00:21:14]  They booked people who can come out and sell tickets.
[00:21:17]  And we could have done a much bigger venue, probably.
[00:21:19]  I was last, you know, one of the later ones to be added.
[00:21:22]  Fucked up enough.
[00:21:23]  I was booked on October 7th.
[00:21:26]  Why did you do this?
[00:21:27]  We did Dubai on October 7th.
[00:21:29]  We flipped.
[00:21:29]  Bro, they were exhausted from celebrating all that.
[00:21:32]  Okay, no, they can't do it.
[00:21:40]  I ain't not doing it.
[00:21:42]  I ain't signing shit.
[00:21:44]  I ain't not signing shit.
[00:21:47]  I was funny as fuck.
[00:21:48]  I'm not gonna lie, I was fucking shit.
[00:21:50]  I can't do it.
[00:21:54]  No, but it's good to hear that perspective.
[00:21:55]  And like, it is funny.
[00:21:57]  Bro, the cash right here.
[00:21:58]  I can't stand it, bro.
[00:22:00]  I'm honest.
[00:22:01]  I think it's fake.
[00:22:02]  Yeah.
[00:22:02]  Like, like, there are people who fell for it, but I think that a lot of it was started by bots because literally two weeks after we all said this, we're like, in two weeks, nobody will even make a peep about this.
[00:22:12]  And it has completely died down.
[00:22:14]  Yeah, it is.
[00:22:15]  And then what has happened to Saudi over the next two weeks?
[00:22:17]  I think it was a negotiating thing.
[00:22:18]  Somebody was negotiating something.
[00:22:20]  That's what created the pressure.
[00:22:21]  That's probably what it was.
[00:22:22]  And then even creating a little fuss to create some negotiating leverage.
[00:22:27]  I don't know.
[00:22:28]  I'm just speculating here.
[00:22:29]  You're saying between countries?
[00:22:30]  Maybe, yeah, maybe.
[00:22:31]  Maybe it's the case or agencies, whatever.
[00:22:34]  People didn't hop on it though.
[00:22:35]  CNN was on a comic.
[00:22:36]  They have nothing to say.
[00:22:38]  There's any distraction that they can fucking come on.
[00:22:40]  Like they just start doing a picture.
[00:22:42]  The part that really frustrated me is like really pissed me off is that I'm nobody even like you just lumbed me into this shit and me being Palestinian, me Me being my background and everything that we've done as comedians to try to push the needle forward and try to just be truth tellers, hopefully, and storytellers.
[00:23:00]  And then there's people that even took the money and came back and fucking apologized.
[00:23:04]  That's just crazy, bro.
[00:23:06]  Don't do that.
[00:23:07]  Don't do that.
[00:23:07]  These people want the fans in Saudi.
[00:23:11]  I mean, 50%, I think the population is actually Saudi.
[00:23:14]  I think something like that.
[00:23:15]  And who's the other 50%?
[00:23:17]  You know, who's the other 50%?
[00:23:18]  So it's just like, it's not like we were sitting and performing, we were performing for real fans, people that had an appetite for this, people that wanted to see this.
[00:23:25]  And I can't tell you enough, like, the amount of emails that I got from like people, like parents that brought their kids out or Palestinians that were there that were like, oh my God, I can't believe you said those things.

=== Fans Apologizing for the Show (02:38) ===

[00:23:37]  And it's just empowered and free.
[00:23:41]  Because a lot of these, a lot of people that talked about it, they're going to go out on tour around the world.
[00:23:45]  Yeah.
[00:23:46]  And they're going to start to realize that like, you know, there are rules in certain countries that might not align with their progressive policies or politics.
[00:23:53]  And we're going to see if there's any pushback.
[00:23:55]  I don't think there will be.
[00:23:56]  I don't think the whole thing was fake in the first place.
[00:23:59]  Nobody actually cares.
[00:24:00]  Exactly.
[00:24:00]  And here's another thing, too.
[00:24:01]  It's like even some of my fans were like, I expected better from you.
[00:24:05]  I was like, well, I expected better from you, actually, because I thought you would trust me.
[00:24:08]  I thought you would trust me to be the same person no matter where I went.
[00:24:12]  That's the biggest thing.
[00:24:13]  Like, I don't change.
[00:24:14]  There's a lot of people that go do change.
[00:24:16]  You know, that's not, I'm not saying it doesn't exist.
[00:24:18]  People that go to a certain country and then they become like the monkeys for that country.
[00:24:22]  Like, no, no, no.
[00:24:23]  I'm myself.
[00:24:24]  No matter where I go.
[00:24:26]  It's very important to be thoughtful in the things that you say.
[00:24:30]  And I'm very, very like technical with it.
[00:24:32]  I've been doing this shit for a long time.
[00:24:34]  No, I don't know who.
[00:24:37]  Give us some Cat Williams.
[00:24:41]  I don't know.
[00:24:42]  I genuinely don't really have examples.
[00:24:44]  I'm talking about myself only.
[00:24:46]  That's the only person I can speak for.
[00:24:48]  It's like, I expect more from you as well to trust me and to know like everything that I've done with the show and how groundbreaking it is and what I did with that last episode in season two is nobody's going to do that.
[00:24:59]  Nobody's going to do that.
[00:25:00]  Like I can't wait for you to do that.
[00:25:01]  You've gotten your credit.
[00:25:02]  You think you've gotten your credit for I got it from the people, man.
[00:25:06]  Like the amount of tickets that I've sold on the road and the people that want to see it from every background that you could think of, that's what I don't care what anybody else says.
[00:25:16]  I don't care what industry says or anything like that.
[00:25:20]  The numbers on the road and the people that have come up to me, no matter where I am on planet Earth, that's my award.
[00:25:27]  That's how I feel like it.
[00:25:28]  And if there's many, you know, there's things coming up and I hope they do recognize it because it's good for the next future filmmakers.
[00:25:34]  And I think it's the right thing to do just because objectively is so dope.
[00:25:39]  I was telling you, I have not gotten a chance to watch season two.
[00:25:41]  It has been on the road too much.
[00:25:42]  Season one was awesome.
[00:25:43]  Season two from the people, I hear like unbelievable praise.
[00:25:48]  Unbelievable.
[00:25:49]  Like it meant something to people.
[00:25:51]  And I think you are kind of the man of this moment, whether you want to be or not.
[00:25:56]  I just think you don't really have a choice and you've risen to the occasion, but I'm just very proud of you as somebody who's known for 15 years watching this whole thing happen.
[00:26:03]  No, it's genuinely like something that I feel like is my life's work, you know?
[00:26:06]  It's like a life purpose, like to go into something like this and get this off my chest was not an easy thing.
[00:26:11]  Where first season, I was kind of like, you know, it was pandemic.

=== Life Purpose and Season Two (08:39) ===

[00:26:15]  I was divorced by a year and a half.
[00:26:17]  I was dealing with so many things, but the first Zoom room ever.
[00:26:20]  And I think, you know what I mean?
[00:26:22]  It was like so many different things in the air and people telling you you should do this, not do that.
[00:26:26]  And you feel confident in a particular storyline.
[00:26:28]  They start picking at it enough where you start losing confidence.
[00:26:31]  Like, fuck.
[00:26:32]  And I went into the second season.
[00:26:33]  We're like, nobody's touching.
[00:26:35]  Me, these are the guys.
[00:26:37]  I love y'all.
[00:26:38]  You come with me.
[00:26:39]  If you don't, I can't, I can't have this like doubt shit.
[00:26:42]  You know, I can't have it.
[00:26:43]  Oh, you got to trust yourself completely.
[00:26:45]  And I did that to the fullest extent.
[00:26:47]  And nobody really meddled in what I had and the vision that I had.
[00:26:51]  And it was just, to me, it was like a perfect piece of art.
[00:26:55]  You're single now, right?
[00:26:56]  No, I'm married.
[00:26:57]  I have a baby.
[00:26:57]  Again?
[00:26:58]  What do you mean?
[00:26:59]  You said you got divorced.
[00:27:00]  I had divorced in the first season one.
[00:27:02]  That's four years ago, five years ago.
[00:27:03]  Oh, shit.
[00:27:04]  Six years ago.
[00:27:04]  I know you got the baby.
[00:27:05]  Well, I'm sorry.
[00:27:06]  I don't want to put it out of there.
[00:27:07]  Congratulations.
[00:27:08]  That's amazing.
[00:27:08]  No, no, no, no.
[00:27:09]  It was awesome.
[00:27:09]  No, no, no.
[00:27:10]  I got remarried.
[00:27:11]  The girl.
[00:27:12]  The girl I met.
[00:27:13]  Yeah, you did meet her, right?
[00:27:14]  Yeah, yeah.
[00:27:15]  Let me ask a question.
[00:27:16]  Did you come back home?
[00:27:18]  Did you come back home?
[00:27:19]  What do you mean?
[00:27:21]  Brown girl?
[00:27:22]  Oh, she's brown, yes.
[00:27:24]  I've always been brown.
[00:27:25]  What type of brown?
[00:27:26]  Yeah.
[00:27:26]  Always been brown.
[00:27:27]  What type of brown?
[00:27:28]  What type of brown?
[00:27:33]  Portuguese.
[00:27:37]  Wait, Portuguese sounds like she's Spanish.
[00:27:39]  So you only went back to Meka once, huh?
[00:27:42]  Three times.
[00:27:42]  Three times.
[00:27:43]  Hold on, hold on now.
[00:27:44]  Hold on.
[00:27:45]  Here's the thing.
[00:27:45]  Here's the thing.
[00:27:46]  We've known each other since eighth grade.
[00:27:48]  They got you.
[00:27:49]  And we know white girls.
[00:27:50]  No, no, no.
[00:27:50]  She's not white.
[00:27:51]  What is she?
[00:27:52]  Portuguese.
[00:27:53]  She's so cute.
[00:27:54]  She's so sound.
[00:27:54]  She's Spanish.
[00:27:55]  She's Spanish or Portuguese.
[00:27:57]  She's not Spanish.
[00:27:58]  That's your opinion.
[00:27:59]  She's not.
[00:28:00]  Yeah, I know, but she's not, bro.
[00:28:01]  North African influence like crazy.
[00:28:03]  Now, don't even try.
[00:28:05]  That's not true.
[00:28:05]  That's the Moores.
[00:28:06]  The Moores came in.
[00:28:07]  No, no, no.
[00:28:08]  That's true, though.
[00:28:09]  What do you mean?
[00:28:10]  Delete history?
[00:28:11]  Listen.
[00:28:12]  Listen.
[00:28:14]  Oh, did you revert her?
[00:28:17]  No, she converted herself.
[00:28:18]  Oh, really?
[00:28:19]  With no influence from you?
[00:28:20]  Zero.
[00:28:20]  Yeah.
[00:28:21]  Yeah.
[00:28:21]  So she was the first time, too, to be honest with you.
[00:28:25]  No zeros, for real.
[00:28:26]  Really?
[00:28:27]  She was pregnant with our son, and it was like, she was about three, four months pregnant, and she just woke up like just crying and just like very, just like, just, she just wanted to do it from her heart.
[00:28:38]  It was beautiful.
[00:28:39]  Wow.
[00:28:40]  And then what do you, what is your reaction to that?
[00:28:43]  Got it.
[00:28:43]  Are you sure?
[00:28:44]  No.
[00:28:45]  No, you have to, like, I genuinely like don't like to press about these things.
[00:28:49]  And I think it's, it's, it's my responsibility is like to surround the family with like good vibes, good spirits, and things like that.
[00:28:57]  And, and, uh, and that was like came from her.
[00:29:00]  And I just wanted her to be sure 100%.
[00:29:03]  Like, I don't want this to come from, like, I got to do it because, you know, no, it's got you got to feel it in your heart.
[00:29:09]  It has to come.
[00:29:10]  And the rest is between you and God and divine.
[00:29:12]  So now she's on board.
[00:29:13]  She's on board.
[00:29:14]  Yeah.
[00:29:14]  She's amazing.
[00:29:15]  But, but I've noticed since eighth grade and all these years went by and we rekindled.
[00:29:19]  We never dated like back then.
[00:29:20]  Long game.
[00:29:21]  Long game.
[00:29:22]  A long game.
[00:29:22]  Super dressed.
[00:29:23]  My mom met her like five minutes later.
[00:29:25]  My mom gave her a ring.
[00:29:26]  I was like, what are you doing?
[00:29:28]  She's so dope, bro.
[00:29:29]  You like white girls too, huh?
[00:29:33]  Well, you're the worst.
[00:29:36]  Top five words all that.
[00:29:39]  Don't downgrade me.
[00:29:41]  You gave me the fucking top spot.
[00:29:43]  There's a lot of worst.
[00:29:45]  There's a lot of words.
[00:29:46]  She's just killed into top five.
[00:29:47]  Everybody has top five.
[00:29:49]  Is she schooling?
[00:29:50]  You want stuff?
[00:29:50]  That's what I'm saying.
[00:29:51]  Like, does it put more pressure on you to be 100% like committed?
[00:29:55]  Like, you got to be, is she about it?
[00:29:57]  Because now you're this person like a convert, you know?
[00:30:00]  Yeah.
[00:30:01]  Yeah, there's, there's like extreme examples of people who convert and things like that.
[00:30:04]  It hasn't been like, it's been a very natural and like smooth thing.
[00:30:08]  You know, my whole thing is like compulsion and religion is also bad too.
[00:30:12]  So it's like I was always taught that it's like the balance my ways the middle way is what the proper honesty used to say.
[00:30:17]  It's like my ways the middle way.
[00:30:18]  So you always have to be balanced in everything that you do.
[00:30:20]  You can't be too extreme in everything that you do.
[00:30:22]  But she's not just like pulling out hadiths out of nowhere and you're like, oh shit.
[00:30:25]  I'm shocked that you're pulling out hadiths right now.
[00:30:28]  Can I tell you something that I love?
[00:30:29]  Mark has been trying to relate to you all the time.
[00:30:32]  And every time you're like, shut the fuck up.
[00:30:34]  Like, I love high chips.
[00:30:37]  It's a fucking lightning.
[00:30:38]  Y'all better enjoy this.
[00:30:41]  Yeah, it's going to last long.
[00:30:43]  It could be Syrian.
[00:30:44]  I might take Shahada after this, bro.
[00:30:46]  Who knows?
[00:30:46]  Each other.
[00:30:47]  Repeat history.
[00:30:48]  No, It's not that big of a deal.
[00:30:51]  But just cleanse yourself.
[00:30:54]  Don't talk about it.
[00:30:55]  Be up.
[00:30:56]  It's compulsion, dude.
[00:30:57]  It's compulsion.
[00:30:57]  Do it.
[00:31:00]  It's okay.
[00:31:01]  You want to go to hell.
[00:31:02]  It's not a big deal.
[00:31:03]  But you can get me out, though.
[00:31:05]  You can get a money.
[00:31:06]  That's not it at all.
[00:31:08]  As a matter of fact, the Prophet Muhammad said, I hope to see half of my ummah in heaven.
[00:31:12]  Who's the other half?
[00:31:13]  Oh, who is the other half?
[00:31:15]  Exactly.
[00:31:16]  Everybody else.
[00:31:17]  That's your bullet.
[00:31:17]  You said half of my ummah?
[00:31:18]  Half of my ummah, which means the Muslim world.
[00:31:20]  I suppose half of them.
[00:31:22]  I hope to see half of my man.
[00:31:24]  And correct me if I'm pleased.
[00:31:25]  So that means just being Muslim ain't enough to get you in.
[00:31:28]  Yes, that means not like Muslim enough to keep you out.
[00:31:30]  Exactly.
[00:31:30]  That's beautiful.
[00:31:31]  Exactly.
[00:31:32]  That's fire.
[00:31:33]  But if you're in Johnny, you can help get me out of hell a little bit.
[00:31:36]  I mean, I don't know how much pool I have then, but I'll check in.
[00:31:39]  But you fucking put it in.
[00:31:41]  You don't mean you're going to get some pool when you go there?
[00:31:43]  Yeah, they're going to check.
[00:31:43]  I don't know.
[00:31:44]  You're going to check the Indie season two.
[00:31:48]  You're going to be the first one's watching.
[00:31:50]  Those ideas in your head.
[00:31:53]  I don't know what that's going to be like.
[00:31:54]  I don't know.
[00:31:55]  I don't know what kind of pool, but I'll, you know, I'll put it in a word.
[00:31:58]  I'm going to put in a word for you.
[00:31:59]  Thank you.
[00:31:59]  I'm going to put it in a word for you.
[00:32:00]  Oh, yeah.
[00:32:01]  On the flip side.
[00:32:01]  I'm going to be up there omening it.
[00:32:03]  And I'm going to be, I'm going to, yo, you got to look out for my boy Mo.
[00:32:07]  Okay, I know he loved the white women, but everybody.
[00:32:09]  That's not true, bro.
[00:32:12]  I love all women.
[00:32:13]  Of course.
[00:32:14]  That's what they say when they love white women.
[00:32:17]  My wife's going to really be upset.
[00:32:19]  She's not white, bro.
[00:32:20]  She's not white.
[00:32:21]  She's not white.
[00:32:21]  Hot sauce?
[00:32:22]  Very brown.
[00:32:23]  White sauce.
[00:32:23]  Yeah, all right.
[00:32:28]  Why are you saying like it's a bad thing?
[00:32:29]  You're the whitest guy here, bro.
[00:32:31]  I think it's a great thing.
[00:32:32]  I'm trying to convert you.
[00:32:33]  I reverted you.
[00:32:34]  Oh, I got you.
[00:32:35]  Okay.
[00:32:35]  Yeah.
[00:32:36]  I see what's happening now.
[00:32:37]  You have Islam and I have whatever the white people are.
[00:32:41]  You don't even know.
[00:32:42]  You have no direction.
[00:32:43]  Yeah, it's not about that.
[00:32:44]  You're just making shit up as you go.
[00:32:45]  That's exactly.
[00:32:48]  I'm middle of you.
[00:32:50]  That's not even compulsion.
[00:32:51]  I don't believe it.
[00:32:52]  You just take from here and take from there.
[00:32:54]  I'm going to go to India for six months.
[00:32:56]  Talk to Makash.
[00:32:58]  So white people.
[00:32:59]  You got me.
[00:33:00]  You got me very wrong.
[00:33:01]  I want to get this guy out of India.
[00:33:03]  No, let me go to India.
[00:33:04]  Nah, nah, nah, nah.
[00:33:06]  You don't want to go to India.
[00:33:07]  Why don't I get to go to India?
[00:33:09]  Because you're too...
[00:33:10]  No.
[00:33:10]  Last time we went there, we organized that shit.
[00:33:13]  What?
[00:33:14]  Just built some railroads.
[00:33:16]  You know what I mean?
[00:33:17]  Did a little jewel swap.
[00:33:18]  No partition.
[00:33:20]  Is that what you want to call it?
[00:33:21]  Jewel swap swap.
[00:33:22]  Pretty sure there was a robbery.
[00:33:24]  We'll give you the ring cleans or whatever.
[00:33:27]  Give your cases.
[00:33:28]  Yeah, pretty sure that was a robbery.
[00:33:30]  It might have been a robbery.
[00:33:31]  It might have been a robbery and spices they don't even fucking use.
[00:33:34]  That's fantastic.
[00:33:36]  But what do we do with these?
[00:33:38]  Air.
[00:33:39]  We got to take back food because we really perfected food.
[00:33:42]  They just fucking perfected food.
[00:33:45]  White people.
[00:33:45]  That's get the hell out.
[00:33:46]  Italians got it.
[00:33:47]  Get that.
[00:33:48]  Italians got it.
[00:33:49]  Where do all Italians get it from?
[00:33:51]  Arabs?
[00:33:52]  What are you talking about?
[00:33:53]  Look it up.
[00:33:54]  I did.
[00:33:54]  Look it up.
[00:33:55]  They got from the Chinese.
[00:33:57]  Okay.
[00:33:57]  They got noodles from the Chinese.
[00:33:58]  Y'all didn't have noodles.
[00:34:00]  All right.
[00:34:00]  All right.
[00:34:00]  Maybe they were eaters.
[00:34:01]  Hey, we weren't.
[00:34:02]  We're not an Asian.
[00:34:03]  Maybe they were weavers.
[00:34:04]  That's right.
[00:34:04]  This is my hot take.
[00:34:05]  I think Christian food is the best food in the world.
[00:34:06]  Oh, without a doubt.
[00:34:07]  What is Christian food?
[00:34:08]  I'm glad you asked.
[00:34:09]  Italian, Mexican, French, French, Portuguese, Portuguese, phenomenal.
[00:34:16]  Brazilian steakhouse.
[00:34:17]  Oh, my God.
[00:34:18]  Brazilian.
[00:34:21]  Arab traders and settlers significantly ripped and pillaged tree ass.
[00:34:27]  What is seen?
[00:34:28]  Arab traders.
[00:34:29]  Significantly influenced Italian food, particularly in Sicily, introducing key ingredients and techniques that are now fundamental to Italian food.
[00:34:38]  I'm not saying concerns.
[00:34:39]  Brazilian food.
[00:34:43]  Is dead.
[00:34:49]  That's a new one.
[00:34:50]  I feel like that'd get you arrested, bro.
[00:34:51]  No, no, no.
[00:34:52]  I love having him here.
[00:34:53]  I love having him here.

=== Brazilian Steakhouses and Pillaging (15:41) ===

[00:34:55]  I love it.
[00:34:55]  Then go sit over here.
[00:35:00]  Tell people where to live, huh?
[00:35:03]  I see what I am.
[00:35:05]  This gives them a little power up.
[00:35:08]  That's how I felt when all the Californians were moving to Texas.
[00:35:11]  I was like, go back to where you came from.
[00:35:13]  I was like, oh, what's that?
[00:35:16]  Or it felt nice.
[00:35:17]  Exactly.
[00:35:17]  I see why they do this.
[00:35:19]  See, that one girl got you.
[00:35:22]  All right, guys, take a break for a second.
[00:35:24]  Okay.
[00:35:25]  You need to take care of your skin, or you're going to look old as fuck.
[00:35:29]  Your under eyes get darker, you get wrinkles, and you generally just look like shit.
[00:35:35]  And that's why you need caldera.
[00:35:38]  That's why you need caldera right here.
[00:35:40]  Okay, they put together skin care for men in a simple package.
[00:35:45]  It's a four-step process that takes care of everything you need to look better.
[00:35:50]  Wash your face, put on three products, and you're done.
[00:35:54]  Your face is less puffy, your under eyes look better, and your face won't wrinkle nearly as quickly.
[00:36:00]  Okay, so look better and feel better.
[00:36:02]  Go to calderalab.com/slash flagrant.
[00:36:05]  Use the code flagrant for 20% off your first order.
[00:36:09]  Now, let's get back to the show.
[00:36:10]  All right, guys, take a break for a second, man.
[00:36:12]  It's time.
[00:36:13]  It's time, man.
[00:36:14]  You know, that fall is turning into winter quickly.
[00:36:17]  You know, time to cozy up.
[00:36:19]  You spend a lot more, a lot more of your day under the covers.
[00:36:24]  And Blue Chew is going to help you with that.
[00:36:26]  You got a special partner.
[00:36:27]  You got a side chick.
[00:36:29]  You know, you got a teacher at your school that's taking an interest in you.
[00:36:34]  You got Blue Chew to have your back.
[00:36:39]  It's really that simple.
[00:36:40]  It's going to give you the best dick you've ever had in your life.
[00:36:42]  Rocked up, stocked up, and ready for the long sleep.
[00:36:47]  And you're going to get it all for free.
[00:36:49]  First month is free.
[00:36:50]  First month is free.
[00:36:51]  All you got to do is pay $5 shipping.
[00:36:53]  And when you go to bluechew.com, use the promo code flagrant.
[00:36:56]  How incredible is that?
[00:36:58]  Go do that right now.
[00:36:59]  Thank us later.
[00:37:00]  All right.
[00:37:01]  Shout out all y'all.
[00:37:02]  Shout out all your dicks.
[00:37:04]  Yeah.
[00:37:05]  Shout out your dicks.
[00:37:06]  You know, speaking of dicks, they're burying Cheney.
[00:37:10]  Yeah, the main dick, bro.
[00:37:12]  The main dick is getting buried.
[00:37:14]  R.I.P. Dick Cheney, man.
[00:37:19]  Not even Blue Chew could raise him from the dead.
[00:37:22]  Dude, that is a great Blue Chew ad.
[00:37:23]  That's what you got to do.
[00:37:24]  It's like Dick Cheney in a cast at the funeral.
[00:37:27]  But like, you know how zombies' hands reach through the dirt?
[00:37:33]  Exactly.
[00:37:33]  Undertaker stuff.
[00:37:34]  Or just dick just blinds itself right through the dirt and comes back.
[00:37:38]  Are you going?
[00:37:39]  Are you going to the funeral?
[00:37:40]  Dude, we need to look up, see if Calci has an odds or whatever, a market for the people going to the dick chain.
[00:37:51]  Because this is going to be interesting because everybody knows whoever goes, they're using this against you for as long as you're alive.
[00:37:57]  Yeah.
[00:37:58]  Right?
[00:37:58]  Yeah, which must be a tough invitation to get.
[00:38:00]  Like, please join us for the memorial of Dick Cheney.
[00:38:03]  Yeah.
[00:38:03]  You got to be like, oh, God.
[00:38:05]  But I also wonder if all these politicians are like, yeah, we all do fucked up shit.
[00:38:08]  Just kill tons of people.
[00:38:09]  Like, I wonder if they're desensitized.
[00:38:12]  Okay, what do we got here?
[00:38:13]  Go back, go back to the top.
[00:38:14]  What do we got here?
[00:38:15]  Okay.
[00:38:16]  Biden, 98% chance.
[00:38:18]  He's dead soon anyway.
[00:38:19]  Why not?
[00:38:20]  Yeah, just see.
[00:38:22]  George Bush, 95.
[00:38:24]  You gotta go.
[00:38:25]  What else is George Bush doing?
[00:38:26]  He's got a baseball shit.
[00:38:27]  So, like, he's, you know, he's along for a ride.
[00:38:30]  That's 100%.
[00:38:32]  Let me see.
[00:38:33]  Kamala Harris, 72%.
[00:38:35]  No, she doesn't go.
[00:38:36]  I don't think she goes.
[00:38:38]  I don't think she goes.
[00:38:39]  Barack is 60%.
[00:38:41]  I don't think she goes.
[00:38:45]  Sorry about that.
[00:38:46]  He's quarterback.
[00:38:47]  He's him.
[00:38:48]  Do you think Trompito is going?
[00:38:49]  I don't think Toron Pito is going.
[00:38:51]  No.
[00:38:51]  No, no, no.
[00:38:52]  He's got to talk shit in the Air Force One.
[00:38:54]  Yeah.
[00:38:54]  He's got way too much stuff to do.
[00:38:56]  I mean, that is insane.
[00:38:58]  This is crazy.
[00:39:00]  There's a market for who's showing up.
[00:39:01]  Bonnie Blue, 20%.
[00:39:03]  That's pretty good.
[00:39:04]  Yo.
[00:39:05]  That is.
[00:39:06]  She's been popping up everywhere.
[00:39:07]  That's a video.
[00:39:08]  Everywhere, dude.
[00:39:09]  That is a video.
[00:39:10]  She can sniff blue chew out of anything.
[00:39:12]  She can find it.
[00:39:12]  Dick Cheney's dead body of Blue Chew.
[00:39:15]  And then Bonnie Blue rides the last that'll come out of it.
[00:39:20]  Can we get back to the show?
[00:39:21]  Yeah, we should.
[00:39:22]  Can we get back to the show?
[00:39:23]  Listen, we're all going to India, Mo.
[00:39:25]  You got to come to India, man.
[00:39:26]  I'm not doing it.
[00:39:27]  I saw those cooking videos.
[00:39:28]  I'm sorry.
[00:39:28]  I can't.
[00:39:30]  You don't want a little toaster?
[00:39:32]  No, my God.
[00:39:33]  You don't want a little toaster?
[00:39:34]  Listen, listen.
[00:39:35]  I really, really have nothing but love and respect.
[00:39:39]  But all my Indian friends that go back home to India all get sick.
[00:39:43]  I have no shot.
[00:39:45]  I have no shot.
[00:39:45]  I got sick.
[00:39:46]  I got sick from a donut and a five-star exercise.
[00:39:49]  Exactly, bro.
[00:39:51]  It's not an Indian.
[00:39:52]  He does.
[00:39:56]  India doesn't handle it.
[00:39:57]  That's what it is.
[00:39:57]  I'm not going to do it, bro.
[00:39:59]  Come back here and do it, bro.
[00:40:00]  There's no way I'll get it.
[00:40:00]  We got to go to the dung festival.
[00:40:02]  What's a dung festival?
[00:40:04]  Come on, let's go, dung festival.
[00:40:05]  No, no, there's not.
[00:40:06]  Come on.
[00:40:08]  You don't want to go to the dung.
[00:40:10]  Come on, bro.
[00:40:11]  Look how much fun they're having.
[00:40:12]  They're having a great time.
[00:40:13]  They're having a great time.
[00:40:14]  Burning man.
[00:40:14]  King Kai for everybody.
[00:40:17]  Oh, my God.
[00:40:18]  How dare you?
[00:40:19]  I don't like you depicting Indian people this way.
[00:40:21]  I really don't.
[00:40:22]  That's not me.
[00:40:22]  That's that YouTuber.
[00:40:23]  That's a YouTuber.
[00:40:24]  I'm saying I want to go.
[00:40:25]  You're saying that you don't want to go.
[00:40:26]  I don't want to go because I know I'm going to get sick.
[00:40:28]  I just don't like being sick on the road.
[00:40:30]  You pack a lunch.
[00:40:31]  100%.
[00:40:31]  Pack a lunch.
[00:40:32]  You're just your own food.
[00:40:33]  100%.
[00:40:33]  100%.
[00:40:34]  Get a lunch to get.
[00:40:35]  Just take like fucking NASA food packs.
[00:40:38]  MRE's whatever.
[00:40:39]  My wife has a pretty good.
[00:40:40]  She won't eat any cold, like uncooked fruits or vegetables.
[00:40:43]  Can't do it.
[00:40:44]  She won't do any dairy.
[00:40:46]  Okay, fair.
[00:40:47]  And then only bottled water, obviously.
[00:40:49]  Well, those three.
[00:40:50]  They glue that shit together too sometimes.
[00:40:52]  Yeah, they do.
[00:40:54]  The glue what?
[00:40:54]  Really?
[00:40:55]  They fill it up with tap water and then glue it shit.
[00:40:57]  Indian.
[00:40:58]  Holy shit.
[00:40:59]  Indian.
[00:41:00]  No, you're scared.
[00:41:01]  I want to go.
[00:41:02]  Y'all need white people want to go.
[00:41:04]  No, you don't.
[00:41:04]  White people want to lie.
[00:41:05]  This is white people will.
[00:41:06]  It's like they're in their mess.
[00:41:07]  White people will be like, yes, some bad things happen, of course, but it's glue to top.
[00:41:11]  That's once you hear a glue to top.
[00:41:13]  It's a sarcasm.
[00:41:14]  Okay, guys.
[00:41:15]  Listen.
[00:41:16]  4 million people messaging me on Instagram, please.
[00:41:20]  Do you have to deal with that?
[00:41:21]  No.
[00:41:22]  Okay, listen.
[00:41:23]  I don't really look at it.
[00:41:23]  From now on, we're only going to give the right opinions for the rest of the year.
[00:41:26]  Thank you.
[00:41:27]  Right opinions for the episode.
[00:41:29]  We shouldn't go back there.
[00:41:30]  And it was fucked up what we did.
[00:41:32]  What did you guys do there?
[00:41:32]  Why did you say win?
[00:41:34]  Why do you keep saying we don't know?
[00:41:34]  No, white people.
[00:41:35]  Because I get to guess.
[00:41:36]  I got you.
[00:41:37]  We got to own everything.
[00:41:38]  Wait, what?
[00:41:39]  That's not the way the fucking goes.
[00:41:40]  Wait, how does it go?
[00:41:42]  Just everybody has their own share.
[00:41:44]  There's plenty on this earth and stop stealing.
[00:41:46]  That's how they're supposed to have it.
[00:41:47]  There's plenty on this earth and stop stealing.
[00:41:49]  I agree with that.
[00:41:50]  Yes.
[00:41:50]  I agree with that.
[00:41:51]  100%.
[00:41:52]  But what if somebody has oil and there's not plenty where we're going to go?
[00:41:56]  And then what you do is you enforce your currency on them.
[00:42:00]  And then we're trying to let women read or whatever.
[00:42:03]  That's not it.
[00:42:04]  No, democracy.
[00:42:05]  Is that what we really are?
[00:42:06]  What is it?
[00:42:07]  Democracy, Mo.
[00:42:08]  What is happening?
[00:42:08]  Democracy.
[00:42:09]  We preach democracy.
[00:42:10]  The Muslim word has regressed dramatically with the invasion and colonialism.
[00:42:14]  100%.
[00:42:16]  100%.
[00:42:17]  I know because you guys had all the algebra.
[00:42:19]  We have the algebra.
[00:42:20]  We let women own businesses.
[00:42:22]  We let them progress.
[00:42:22]  They had rights.
[00:42:23]  They still have rights.
[00:42:24]  Yeah, it's very, very different.
[00:42:26]  Why do you have to say that?
[00:42:27]  We know that.
[00:42:28]  No, you don't.
[00:42:28]  No, they don't know that.
[00:42:30]  Because apparently they're like holding it.
[00:42:32]  I can't believe they laughed.
[00:42:33]  Right.
[00:42:33]  We're in the shower to be real.
[00:42:35]  But that's not me.
[00:42:37]  That's not me.
[00:42:38]  I'm sure it was you.
[00:42:39]  Fucking.
[00:42:40]  I roamed in with this.
[00:42:42]  I don't even know what cover me over there.
[00:42:45]  Shout out to me.
[00:42:47]  I'm trying to try saying words like Shahada.
[00:42:50]  All right, what do you want me to do?
[00:42:51]  This guy's been doing research since 5 a.m.
[00:42:53]  Butter chicken.
[00:42:54]  I'm a butter chicken.
[00:42:56]  Butter chicken.
[00:42:56]  What the fuck does that have to do with me?
[00:42:59]  I'm not Indian.
[00:43:00]  Butter chicken.
[00:43:00]  Butter chicken.
[00:43:01]  Oh my God.
[00:43:02]  Butter chicken is delicious.
[00:43:03]  Thank you.
[00:43:03]  See?
[00:43:04]  Look at this.
[00:43:04]  This is a cultural exchange.
[00:43:05]  Yes, it is.
[00:43:07]  I love butter.
[00:43:08]  Butter chicken is.
[00:43:09]  Okay, now you exchange something butter chicken.
[00:43:11]  Give me some exchange.
[00:43:12]  Mumbai got some of the best food ever.
[00:43:14]  French fries.
[00:43:15]  Oh, see what we did?
[00:43:17]  See what we did there?
[00:43:19]  French fries.
[00:43:19]  You didn't sit.
[00:43:20]  French fries are acceptable.
[00:43:21]  That's the only white food that I can think of.
[00:43:24]  Hamburgers.
[00:43:25]  Hamburgers.
[00:43:25]  Carrillo.
[00:43:26]  Those laughs.
[00:43:26]  Sandwiches.
[00:43:27]  Carrillo.
[00:43:28]  Sandwiches.
[00:43:29]  Sands with sandwiches.
[00:43:32]  I don't like how hard you hit that sand on the whiskey.
[00:43:35]  I didn't like to let you run.
[00:43:36]  That's fun.
[00:43:37]  I didn't want to let you know about that.
[00:43:38]  I didn't like that.
[00:43:39]  I was trying to entice you in.
[00:43:40]  I was flirting.
[00:43:41]  Sand.
[00:43:42]  I don't come from the sand region.
[00:43:44]  I might actually.
[00:43:45]  I'm pretty sure we did overlap at some point.
[00:43:47]  Yeah.
[00:43:48]  People were roaming, like you said.
[00:43:50]  My brother did a big DNA.
[00:43:52]  He goes back like thousands of years.
[00:43:53]  Oh, my God.
[00:43:54]  Did he find out he was part of Small Hat?
[00:43:56]  No, Small Hat.
[00:44:00]  Did he find it?
[00:44:01]  I'm sure we all were at some point before the conversion.
[00:44:04]  Did he take that and just like that shit?
[00:44:06]  Found out or not?
[00:44:07]  No, it's just very open.
[00:44:09]  Like, I'm sure that that's what we were at some point.
[00:44:11]  If you think about the beginning of time, I mean, what the fuck?
[00:44:14]  What were Adam and Eve?
[00:44:16]  What were they?
[00:44:16]  What were they?
[00:44:17]  It's a good question.
[00:44:18]  Maybe white people can tell us that.
[00:44:20]  I mean, if they were Christian.
[00:44:21]  If we look.
[00:44:23]  Adam might have been an Indian, bro.
[00:44:25]  Adam was made from mud.
[00:44:29]  All right, let's get into it, guys.
[00:44:30]  Thank you so much.
[00:44:33]  Peace out.
[00:44:34]  Thank you very much.
[00:44:36]  Where's the exit?
[00:44:38]  Where's the exit?
[00:44:40]  That tank candy.
[00:44:41]  Where does this lead to?
[00:44:43]  To be honest with you this looks like the front of a mosque right here.
[00:44:46]  That's why we asked him.
[00:44:47]  That's why we find it like that.
[00:44:48]  100%.
[00:44:48]  Yeah, there's a potential center right behind it.
[00:44:51]  That's so fucked up.
[00:44:54]  Genuinely, what's happening with ICE is really fucking diabolical.
[00:44:57]  It is.
[00:44:58]  So fucked up.
[00:44:59]  I agree.
[00:44:59]  So fucked up.
[00:45:00]  And who's going to finish your roof?
[00:45:01]  It's really fun.
[00:45:06]  I get the podcast now.
[00:45:07]  I get it.
[00:45:08]  Hell yeah.
[00:45:10]  We got it.
[00:45:12]  We got it.
[00:45:12]  Genuinely, it's really fucked up.
[00:45:14]  I really, really feel terrible for those people.
[00:45:15]  I really, really feel awful for them.
[00:45:17]  It's like even people who have U.S. citizenship are being picked up.
[00:45:20]  There's no rival reason to the whole thing.
[00:45:22]  That's crazy.
[00:45:22]  It's really fucked.
[00:45:23]  What do you think about them Venezuelan boats?
[00:45:26]  I didn't read much about it recently.
[00:45:27]  It's just the bombing of, is it you talking about the drugs?
[00:45:30]  Yeah.
[00:45:31]  Yeah.
[00:45:31]  Game of Battleship.
[00:45:32]  Yeah, Game of Battleship.
[00:45:34]  I don't know what that is.
[00:45:35]  I honestly genuinely don't know.
[00:45:37]  I didn't read about it.
[00:45:38]  I don't take this seriously.
[00:45:39]  I'm not very informed about it, to be honest with you, but it seems kind of like, yeah, these are fucking drug ships.
[00:45:44]  And you just start shooting them down.
[00:45:45]  It's like, how do we know they're drug ships?
[00:45:47]  Exactly.
[00:45:47]  That's my point.
[00:45:48]  And what drugs?
[00:45:49]  It's crazy.
[00:45:50]  Also, some drugs is a great point we might want to let up in here.
[00:45:53]  Yes, they do very well.
[00:45:54]  They do let all that up in here.
[00:45:56]  I mean, the only reason why they were mad at Escobar is because nobody was getting a piece of that money.
[00:46:00]  All the cash was disappearing.
[00:46:02]  They didn't give a fuck that thousands of murders were occurring in Miami.
[00:46:05]  They were like, wait, wait, wait, where's the cash at?
[00:46:08]  That's where the cash at.
[00:46:09]  Hold on, sorry.
[00:46:10]  But there's so many dead people.
[00:46:11]  Yeah, yeah, where's the cash at?
[00:46:12]  So, should we let drug dealers pay taxes?
[00:46:15]  I think that's already happening.
[00:46:17]  They probably don't even pay taxes.
[00:46:19]  It's called the pharmaceuticals.
[00:46:22]  Oh my gosh.
[00:46:23]  It's like Walgreens pisses me off.
[00:46:24]  It's like, we don't sell cigarettes, but we have fentanyl in the back.
[00:46:29]  Oh, we don't.
[00:46:29]  We don't will never sell cigarettes.
[00:46:30]  Together, we have every single addictive drug.
[00:46:33]  Synthetic heroin in the back if you like it.
[00:46:35]  But God forbid you have some nicotine.
[00:46:36]  God forbid.
[00:46:37]  I just found out most smoke cigarettes, and this really bothers me.
[00:46:39]  Are you serious?
[00:46:40]  You smoke?
[00:46:41]  Yeah, I smoke.
[00:46:41]  Yeah, I smoke cigarette.
[00:46:42]  As a smoker, yeah.
[00:46:43]  Oh, I do remember.
[00:46:44]  I'm having a hard time right now.
[00:46:45]  Do you want to have a smoke?
[00:46:46]  Oh, let's get the medcoach.
[00:46:47]  Get the night.
[00:46:48]  Oh, you don't know about the medwach, man.
[00:46:49]  Oh, you're talking about the stick with the little filter?
[00:46:51]  That's a white guy.
[00:46:52]  Let me tell you something about the middle humor.
[00:46:55]  Do you want to have an actual real Middle Eastern smoke?
[00:46:58]  What are you talking about?
[00:46:59]  You're talking about it.
[00:46:59]  It's a chew on your ass, dude.
[00:47:00]  Yeah.
[00:47:00]  The docha thing?
[00:47:01]  Nah, I'm not smoking it.
[00:47:02]  It's too strong.
[00:47:03]  No.
[00:47:04]  I smoke real weed, but nobody needs that.
[00:47:08]  Tobacco with the wooden pipe and it.
[00:47:10]  Oh, that shit isn't.
[00:47:11]  That's a substitute for weed.
[00:47:13]  That's what that is.
[00:47:13]  They call it a smoke.
[00:47:14]  Which docha means like being dizzy.
[00:47:17]  God is.
[00:47:18]  Boy, we got to get the gyat.
[00:47:19]  The yemini gyat.
[00:47:20]  You ever tried that before?
[00:47:22]  Yeah, yeah.
[00:47:23]  I want to try that.
[00:47:25]  I'll say, I have to be your turbo here.
[00:47:29]  Hey, look at me.
[00:47:30]  I know I'm about you.
[00:47:30]  Shut up.
[00:47:32]  I hate that.
[00:47:33]  I want to try it.
[00:47:34]  Every time I ask.
[00:47:36]  I hate that.
[00:47:38]  I'm going to cry about racism all the time.
[00:47:40]  And the second white guy takes it.
[00:47:41]  I'm not taking this tick.
[00:47:42]  I really like you looking, people.
[00:47:46]  But me, the second white people take an interest in your culture.
[00:47:49]  It's like, all right, but that's me.
[00:47:50]  I don't know.
[00:47:51]  I know you don't want it.
[00:47:52]  I know.
[00:47:53]  I'm judging you.
[00:47:53]  I'm judging you.
[00:47:54]  I'm sorry, it's your culture.
[00:47:56]  You apple eating ass motherfuckers.
[00:47:58]  You approve of the pandemic.
[00:47:59]  It's not pandemic.
[00:47:59]  It's taking it.
[00:48:00]  Taking this picture.
[00:48:01]  I think he's taking an interest in genuinely trying.
[00:48:03]  I think it's really interesting.
[00:48:05]  It's not your culture.
[00:48:06]  It's not your culture.
[00:48:07]  She's not podcast.
[00:48:08]  Stop speaking for me, Indian.
[00:48:10]  Yeah.
[00:48:12]  I'm sorry.
[00:48:14]  That was too Middle Eastern.
[00:48:16]  That was too Middle East.
[00:48:21]  That shit was too Middle Eastern.
[00:48:23]  I love this guy.
[00:48:24]  He already comes in.
[00:48:26]  He got Akash Passport in his pocket.
[00:48:29]  You not leaving.
[00:48:31]  You're not leaving this country.
[00:48:34]  Which camera?
[00:48:36]  I'm finishing his roof after this.
[00:48:40]  Which, by the way, it's leaking.
[00:48:45]  This is a mistake.
[00:48:48]  Yo, we're just out here trying to have cultural exchanges.
[00:48:50]  No, genuinely, genuinely.
[00:48:52]  What's your favorite white thing?
[00:48:54]  My favorite white thing.
[00:48:55]  Yeah, his wife, man.
[00:48:58]  Let me tell you something, bro.
[00:49:00]  I was so glad I didn't have to do it.
[00:49:02]  I'm so glad.
[00:49:07]  Listen, listen.
[00:49:08]  I'm about to Will Smith somebody with this shit.
[00:49:10]  It's not a bad thing.
[00:49:11]  I'm about to Will Smith some motherfucker right now.
[00:49:13]  We're proud.
[00:49:14]  We love it.
[00:49:15]  Will Smith to keep my wife safe, bro.
[00:49:18]  Yo, motherfucking mouth.
[00:49:20]  My wife is white too, bro.
[00:49:21]  Yes, it's something.
[00:49:22]  Yeah, no.
[00:49:22]  She got it.
[00:49:24]  Fuck out of here.
[00:49:26]  No, come on, bro.
[00:49:27]  For real.
[00:49:28]  Fuck out of here.
[00:49:31]  Listen.
[00:49:32]  My culture is not your costume, bro.
[00:49:34]  What do you mean?
[00:49:35]  Come be fuck out of here.
[00:49:36]  Hey, you forget about it.
[00:49:37]  I'm fuck out of here.
[00:49:38]  I was Italian after 9-11.
[00:49:39]  That's not Italian.
[00:49:40]  That's New York.
[00:49:42]  New York, Italian.
[00:49:43]  That's New York.
[00:49:45]  No, that's Italian.
[00:49:46]  Italians don't talk like that in Italy.
[00:49:48]  In Jersey, though, all Americans are Italians.
[00:49:52]  This is a New Yorker.
[00:49:52]  Hey, God, Zoe, get out of this.
[00:49:55]  Is that what you want?
[00:49:55]  Okay, congratulations.
[00:49:58]  You like that shit?
[00:49:59]  I know which one you like.
[00:50:00]  Y'all just see Kaya.
[00:50:02]  That's more like that.
[00:50:05]  I still agree with it.
[00:50:06]  No.
[00:50:08]  No, no, that's what you want.
[00:50:11]  I make you feel more comfortable.
[00:50:12]  Haven't you been watching this?
[00:50:13]  You had that hair train for 10 fucking years.
[00:50:15]  Haven't you been watching it?
[00:50:15]  Like, nah, no, I'm not doing it.
[00:50:18]  Which camera do I look at?
[00:50:20]  I'm not going to do this.
[00:50:22]  None of you do it.
[00:50:23]  Mo watching the speech is like, yeah, that shit is our conference.
[00:50:27]  No, that's fucked up.
[00:50:29]  I'm not dealing with none of this.
[00:50:31]  This is fucked up.
[00:50:32]  Oh, you walked in the door.
[00:50:34]  I know.
[00:50:35]  It's crazy.

=== Algorithms and White Countries (04:08) ===

[00:50:36]  Everything's going so good.
[00:50:37]  Top three white countries.
[00:50:39]  Yeah.
[00:50:40]  Three white country, yeah, yeah.
[00:50:41]  I don't know about country, but London and great white city, even though we're taking that bitch over.
[00:50:46]  You gotta give us English, they own the buildings, we got the people.
[00:50:48]  That's true, that's true.
[00:50:49]  I do like way more vibey, okay?
[00:50:51]  So, England's a great Holland is great.
[00:50:53]  Amsterdam, in particular, is really a funny thing.
[00:50:55]  Can y'all name it?
[00:50:56]  Copenhagen is really a spectacular.
[00:50:57]  Oh, Copenhagen, there you go.
[00:50:58]  Indiana is great too.
[00:50:59]  Fucking amazing.
[00:51:00]  You would have liked Vienna, yeah.
[00:51:02]  I liked it a lot.
[00:51:03]  I liked it a lot, bro.
[00:51:04]  I had really pleasantly surprised in Vienna.
[00:51:09]  No, we just did a tour there and we had a tour stop there.
[00:51:11]  It was really awesome, man.
[00:51:12]  Oh, no way.
[00:51:13]  It was such a great city, man.
[00:51:14]  You go to his childhood home, Dublin was fired.
[00:51:16]  No, fuck out of here.
[00:51:18]  I didn't even know he's from there, actually.
[00:51:20]  Now that you say it, who?
[00:51:22]  The Penn Player.
[00:51:25]  TJ Callen.
[00:51:26]  Your friend, your pen pal.
[00:51:28]  I heard he lives in Argentina.
[00:51:32]  No, he might.
[00:51:33]  He might, bro.
[00:51:34]  You think he got a life?
[00:51:35]  Why do you think Andrew Guy was Spanish?
[00:51:37]  I got a communication.
[00:51:39]  Hey, they want to you.
[00:51:44]  Y'all, Standard Souls with him.
[00:51:46]  Come on, come on.
[00:51:48]  He's sending you guys messages right now.
[00:51:51]  Oh, the beeping.
[00:51:52]  Oh, I thought that was Cambodia.
[00:51:53]  Yeah, no.
[00:51:54]  Oh, Jesus.
[00:51:59]  What was that?
[00:51:59]  What was that?
[00:52:00]  It was a prayer.
[00:52:01]  Yes, you have to, like, you know, you had to balance things out.
[00:52:03]  You got a class being balanced.
[00:52:06]  Can you give us a good prayer?
[00:52:07]  Can you give us a good quick one?
[00:52:09]  What do you mean, a good prayer?
[00:52:10]  There's many good prayers.
[00:52:12]  Yeah, you just give one.
[00:52:13]  I mean, a prayer is if prayer is something within yourself to between you and God.
[00:52:17]  Like, there's things that I say to myself all the time, like, just praying with God.
[00:52:22]  There's that.
[00:52:23]  Okay.
[00:52:23]  So that's personal.
[00:52:24]  That's your personal.
[00:52:25]  That's fair.
[00:52:26]  That's fair.
[00:52:26]  I like Breza.
[00:52:27]  Yeah, but what about that one?
[00:52:30]  What is that?
[00:52:31]  You haven't seen this?
[00:52:32]  No.
[00:52:32]  Oh, this is the best dude ever.
[00:52:33]  What is this?
[00:52:34]  I think he's like showing New Zealand.
[00:52:35]  You know, while you get that up, while you get that up, let me ask you a question.
[00:52:41]  Fast forward.
[00:52:43]  Okay.
[00:52:44]  Holy shit.
[00:52:44]  Listen.
[00:52:45]  While you get that up, let me start on something.
[00:52:47]  While you get that up, right?
[00:52:48]  Yeah, pause.
[00:52:49]  Do you watch?
[00:52:51]  Do you watch Arab prank videos at all?
[00:52:54]  Arab prank videos?
[00:52:55]  Yes?
[00:52:56]  No.
[00:52:56]  Oh, the little dude?
[00:52:58]  I can't.
[00:52:58]  It's like things are just so incredible.
[00:53:01]  I can't believe it's not part of your algorithm.
[00:53:02]  Oh, that's crazy.
[00:53:03]  Yeah, yeah.
[00:53:04]  You don't watch this at all?
[00:53:05]  No, no.
[00:53:07]  Let me try to find these guys.
[00:53:08]  Let me find them.
[00:53:10]  It needs to be on my algorithm.
[00:53:11]  I need to switch it up for sure.
[00:53:12]  All right.
[00:53:13]  There's always a little person.
[00:53:14]  There's always a little guy, and that's why what I was going to ask.
[00:53:16]  I'm such a fan of this.
[00:53:18]  This is the Arab dude, the little Arab guy.
[00:53:20]  Well, no, no, not.
[00:53:21]  You're thinking of who?
[00:53:23]  Because that guy's.
[00:53:24]  No, no, he's not Arab.
[00:53:25]  Yeah, this is my favorite.
[00:53:26]  Oh, I've seen this guy.
[00:53:27]  These guys are a sensation.
[00:53:28]  Yeah, they said this guy is awesome.
[00:53:30]  But there's three of them that are like a bad guy.
[00:53:31]  I see a video where he's like dancing and shit.
[00:53:33]  He's hilarious.
[00:53:34]  They always smack this guy.
[00:53:37]  It's such an Arab thing to smack the back of the neck.
[00:53:39]  Yeah.
[00:53:41]  Can I see this?
[00:53:41]  Yeah, please.
[00:53:42]  I don't know this one, but go, go.
[00:53:44]  It's not even that.
[00:53:46]  Oh, he's about to get rocked.
[00:53:52]  Oh, my God.
[00:53:52]  He's praying to God, bro.
[00:53:54]  He's like, he's about to rock.
[00:54:02]  But I love the other dudes.
[00:54:03]  Like, y'all, this is very, this is a very Arab thing.
[00:54:06]  Like, oh, like, he's just like swearing to God like it's about to go down.
[00:54:12]  You know what I mean?
[00:54:13]  It's a thing to it that made me happy.
[00:54:15]  But the rest of it really sucks.
[00:54:17]  You want this part of my algorithm?
[00:54:19]  Get the fuck out of here.
[00:54:20]  Way better things than my algorithm.
[00:54:22]  This really should be part of your algorithm.
[00:54:24]  Nobody wants to see this.
[00:54:25]  No, this guy's awesome.
[00:54:26]  I don't know which part is.
[00:54:27]  Oh, yeah, it's at the very top.
[00:54:28]  This is a lot.
[00:54:29]  I think he's from Australia, New Zealand, but he's in a mom that does these greenhouse games.
[00:54:35]  Live simple lives, brother.

=== Temperature Regulating Sheets (03:39) ===

[00:54:44]  Pause.
[00:54:45]  I can't.
[00:54:46]  I can't.
[00:54:47]  Yeah, we don't have to.
[00:54:48]  That's a funny thing.
[00:54:48]  We don't know what he's thinking about.
[00:54:50]  So we're about to get it.
[00:54:52]  Yeah, yeah, I don't want to do that.
[00:54:53]  Yeah.
[00:54:53]  I just don't like making fun of religious figures and stuff like that.
[00:54:56]  But I think it's really funny, though.
[00:54:57]  I don't know.
[00:54:58]  We're trying to make fun of him.
[00:54:59]  No, I'm trying to eat.
[00:55:00]  That brother is hilarious, though.
[00:55:02]  Ew, brother.
[00:55:04]  I already know that.
[00:55:05]  He knows this went crazy viral.
[00:55:07]  He has to.
[00:55:07]  He knows it.
[00:55:08]  Yeah, he knows.
[00:55:09]  He's probably going to keep doing it.
[00:55:10]  Like, ew, brother.
[00:55:11]  He's addicted to it now.
[00:55:12]  He got to go.
[00:55:13]  He wants to keep doing it.
[00:55:14]  Yeah, he must be Australian or something.
[00:55:16]  I don't know.
[00:55:16]  I couldn't tell from it.
[00:55:17]  I didn't hear any.
[00:55:19]  Ew, brother.
[00:55:20]  Ew, brother.
[00:55:22]  You have to watch out for the white woman.
[00:55:24]  Ew, brother.
[00:55:26]  And then she converts to Islam.
[00:55:30]  I mean, then you bring them over to us to the path.
[00:55:32]  You know, is there any pressure?
[00:55:33]  Infiltrate the DNA.
[00:55:37]  All right, guys, take a break for a second.
[00:55:40]  When it comes to supplements, you already know there's a lot of misinformation out there, fake claims.
[00:55:47]  Honestly, I don't even want to make this about misinformation or fake claims.
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[00:55:55]  Just imagine you could have delicious gummy bear that has all the things that you need.
[00:56:01]  Okay.
[00:56:02]  The proper dosing to ensure that you have an optimized and safe life.
[00:56:08]  You're probably taking supplements from these other places.
[00:56:10]  You're pouring them in your water, whatever.
[00:56:11]  They suck.
[00:56:12]  They taste horrible.
[00:56:14]  Why not just have the delicious gummy bears?
[00:56:17]  We go through them.
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[00:56:29]  Okay.
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[00:57:06]  Now let's get back to the show.
[00:57:07]  All right, guys, let's take a break for a second.
[00:57:09]  I need to talk to you about sleep, something I am very deprived of, something that I need desperately.
[00:57:14]  Okay.
[00:57:15]  The most crucial thing in your life, probably sleep.
[00:57:19]  How can we maximize this?
[00:57:20]  How can we get a little bit more of it?
[00:57:22]  How about bed sheets?
[00:57:24]  You get a pair of cozy earth bed sheets.
[00:57:28]  Okay.
[00:57:28]  They're temperature regulating.
[00:57:30]  Why is that important?
[00:57:32]  Because you don't want to get hot when you're in that bed.
[00:57:34]  You sleep worse when you're hot.
[00:57:36]  You want everything to be cooled down.
[00:57:38]  They're naturally wicking away heat and moisture from your body, helping you sleep several degrees cooler.
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[00:58:12]  So head to cozyearth.com and use our code flagrant for up to 20% off.
[00:58:17]  And if you get a post-purchase survey, make sure to let them know that you heard about Cozy Earth right here.
[00:58:22]  Now let's get back to the show.

=== Pilgrimage Feelings and Bubble Blankets (14:37) ===

[00:58:23]  Once somebody is Muslim, right?
[00:58:25]  Like, would there be any, because that is the identity that I imagine supersedes everything.
[00:58:30]  Obviously, ethnicity is incredibly important.
[00:58:32]  It's history.
[00:58:33]  It's sure you know food is everything, but if somebody is Muslim and they are white or they're black or they're Asian or whatever it is, would that matter to certain families?
[00:58:42]  It does not matter at all, bro.
[00:58:44]  Like there is like there are cultural things that do exist, but to Islam itself, if you look up the last, if you look up the last sermon of the Prophet Muhammad, it'll blow your mind.
[00:58:54]  What does he say?
[00:58:55]  It'll literally blow your mind.
[00:58:56]  I just don't want to do it any disservice, but essentially is that, you know, the last thing, the big thing in Islam is like, don't misquote thing or misthe.
[00:59:03]  Yep, yep, yep, yep.
[00:59:04]  It's very, very important to be clear and concise on things.
[00:59:07]  But one of them is like, you know, basically an Arab doesn't have a right over another Arab or a white over another white or a black over another black.
[00:59:13]  It's just like basically described like was this a thing that impacted Muhammad Ali?
[00:59:18]  Malcolm.
[00:59:18]  Oh, sorry, Malcolm.
[00:59:19]  Malcolm.
[00:59:20]  That's right.
[00:59:20]  When he went to Hajj, yeah, when he went to Hajj and he saw everybody wearing the same attire, there was no like distinction of who's rich and who's poor or whatever.
[00:59:29]  Everybody's in the same in so many colors, like everyone, every walk of life.
[00:59:33]  And this doesn't exist like in Arab culture.
[00:59:35]  Like you know, like you just, you know, they're all Arabs.
[00:59:38]  You don't think like, oh, it's a black.
[00:59:40]  This is a very American westernized thing.
[00:59:42]  It didn't exist in our psyche like that.
[00:59:44]  I mean, it did to a degree because Prophet Muhammad, you know, sallallahu alayhi wa sallam did acknowledge it and say like very clear parameters like nobody has a right over anybody else.
[00:59:54]  You know, that's very, very clear.
[00:59:56]  But then after that, it's just like you're just Arab, right?
[00:59:58]  You speak Arabic.
[01:00:00]  I don't look at it like, that's a black guy that speaks Arabic.
[01:00:02]  Well, that's a white guy that speaks Arabic.
[01:00:03]  That's a more Western thing.
[01:00:04]  Yeah, it's a Western thing completely.
[01:00:05]  It's not, it's not within our psyche at all.
[01:00:09]  Can you speak about the first time you did the Hajj?
[01:00:13]  Is that what you said?
[01:00:14]  Yeah, I've never done Hajj, but I've done Umrah.
[01:00:16]  What is the difference?
[01:00:17]  Umrah is like the shorter version that you could do off, you know, outside of Hajj time.
[01:00:22]  So Hajj happens like three months after, so, you know, so to speak, almost three months.
[01:00:27]  It's since we deal with the lunar calendar.
[01:00:29]  So after Ramadan, there'll be like Taid and then there's the big Eid, which is the Eid al-Atha, and that's around the time everybody goes to Hajj.
[01:00:37]  So if you go to Mecca, not during that time, it's called Umra, Umrah.
[01:00:41]  Umrah, yeah, which is a much shorter, condensed.
[01:00:43]  But you saw and you saw that.
[01:00:45]  Yeah, yeah, I've done this.
[01:00:46]  Yeah, I've done this.
[01:00:47]  After my brother died, I went, took my family with me.
[01:00:52]  And then I went a second time a few months later.
[01:00:55]  It just happened like four or five months, four or five months later.
[01:00:58]  And then I went on this past trip.
[01:00:59]  I took my son and wife with me.
[01:01:01]  Okay.
[01:01:01]  It was amazing.
[01:01:02]  Yeah.
[01:01:02]  Can you?
[01:01:03]  It was one of the hardest things I've done on this particular trip.
[01:01:06]  It was just really, really tough with my son and everything.
[01:01:08]  But it's amazing how the kid like knew, like he knew he was in the presence of something.
[01:01:14]  Yeah, he just immediately started praising it.
[01:01:16]  It was so instinctual.
[01:01:18]  It was so dope because it's a kid.
[01:01:20]  I never taught him like, hey, make sure you do this, do that.
[01:01:22]  He just walked in and like knew.
[01:01:24]  It was so amazing.
[01:01:26]  What is so powerful about it?
[01:01:27]  I had a friend who did it and his whole, he just changed his whole life, Umrah, after he came back.
[01:01:30]  Mother Shami, comedian.
[01:01:32]  But what is so powerful about it?
[01:01:35]  I think from each person is it'll vary, but I'll speak from my own experience is that you know this is like the center of the world and you know that all the prophets existed and like at some point in time and you know that there's a tremendous amount of significance of being there and also the presence of everyone there, the gathering itself and then knowing that just it's it's a spiritual thing.
[01:02:01]  You can't really describe fully, but I have the meaning for it, you know?
[01:02:05]  It's like you get there and it's just like you just caught up in the energy.
[01:02:08]  And of course the energy is just so palpable, you know?
[01:02:11]  And once you do that, once you go through it, and sometimes it's really, really hard.
[01:02:15]  Like it was this past trip and you, you know, there's a lot of things you're not supposed to do.
[01:02:19]  Like you can't, you can't go there angry.
[01:02:21]  You can't go there mad.
[01:02:23]  You can't like kill any like lizard or road or anything.
[01:02:26]  You can't kill anything.
[01:02:27]  You have to be like super pure and in a positive mindset.
[01:02:31]  And you have to wash before you even go into Mecca and change attire and put on the hram.
[01:02:40]  And it has no stitching in it.
[01:02:42]  It's all just like 100% like this cotton covering.
[01:02:45]  Like, you know, you just go in and you're just naked.
[01:02:47]  You're just like, I have nothing except you and God and all these people.
[01:02:52]  And just having my son there with me and my wife was just really incredible experience.
[01:02:56]  It's just so moving.
[01:02:57]  And you're supposed to go from there to Medina and visit the Prophet and the Prophet's Mosque.
[01:03:02]  It's incredible.
[01:03:03]  I can't just, I can't, it's very, you have to just do it to experience it.
[01:03:08]  And even Medina is one of the safest places on earth.
[01:03:10]  According to insurance companies, it's the safest place on earth for women to go anywhere on planet Earth.
[01:03:15]  Can you tell me about the first time you went?
[01:03:17]  Like, I imagine, how old were you at that time?
[01:03:19]  First time I went, it wasn't that long.
[01:03:21]  It was three years ago.
[01:03:22]  Okay.
[01:03:22]  I imagine your entire life, you built up what this experience is going to be.
[01:03:27]  The emotions that you would have, you know, what is happening like the day before?
[01:03:32]  What is happening when you show up that day?
[01:03:34]  Like, are you nervous?
[01:03:35]  Are you excited?
[01:03:36]  Are you nervous about even getting back in the AS?
[01:03:38]  No.
[01:03:38]  Well, no, at that point, you're like, nothing.
[01:03:41]  What about that experience?
[01:03:42]  Like, compared to what you built it up to be, to what everybody had told you about?
[01:03:46]  That's a really good question.
[01:03:47]  Are you chasing the emotion of it or is it overwhelming you?
[01:03:50]  Like, what happens the day you arrive?
[01:03:52]  Well, for me, again, for me, I was stripped down to zero.
[01:03:56]  You know, I just, my brother had just passed, like, maybe two or 15 days prior.
[01:04:01]  It was a complete out of nowhere.
[01:04:03]  It was the healthiest one.
[01:04:04]  He was a pilot.
[01:04:05]  He was just so, he's just, nobody saw it coming.
[01:04:07]  You know, he like texted us, I'll hit you guys.
[01:04:10]  I'm charging my phone.
[01:04:10]  I'm at the hospital, getting a checkup, my chest, whatever.
[01:04:13]  And then the next call, we got that he was dead.
[01:04:15]  So it just like changed my entire world.
[01:04:18]  All of us, you know?
[01:04:20]  So when I went there, I had a different energy completely.
[01:04:23]  It was just like, you know, I'm in this position where I'm like, I don't want to say like the leader of the family, but I am like in a way.
[01:04:30]  And so my mom depends, everybody depends on me in a way.
[01:04:32]  And I'm just thinking about his kids, his wife, all these things.
[01:04:34]  And so I wasn't really thinking about like, oh, I was more like, I'm taking my mother for her heart.
[01:04:41]  I'm taking his kids, whoever wants to come with me.
[01:04:44]  Whoever wants to come, like, it was about them.
[01:04:47]  It was about everybody else.
[01:04:48]  And to me, being of service to my mother, it's a big deal.
[01:04:52]  And to be able to push my mom to do the laps, the seven laps was a big deal.
[01:04:56]  So all that is there, like culminates to the experience, you know, just brings it all together for me.
[01:05:01]  But it was deeply, deeply powerful.
[01:05:02]  And actually, that's where I prayed for my son.
[01:05:04]  Like, I pray, I didn't know.
[01:05:05]  I said, God, please, and I don't really say this publicly, but I said, like, you know, God, you know, just thinking about my brother passing.
[01:05:12]  And my sister was sick at the time too.
[01:05:14]  We just found out about her diagnosis.
[01:05:17]  It was just like, if it's good for me, give me a son and a great wife or, you know, a child and a great wife and a family.
[01:05:24]  If it's not good for me, please don't give it to me.
[01:05:26]  Eight months later, I was, you know, pregnant expecting a child.
[01:05:29]  Wow.
[01:05:30]  Yeah.
[01:05:31]  So it was just that.
[01:05:32]  It was just that, like being there for the family.
[01:05:34]  But it's like, okay, you got to be, it's depending on which space you're in.
[01:05:37]  And some people go and it's like forced.
[01:05:39]  And it's a, some people do that.
[01:05:40]  And then you say, a law alum.
[01:05:42]  It's only, only God knows what's in their hearts and what their intentions are.
[01:05:45]  But for me, it was, it was deeply, deeply powerful.
[01:05:48]  Easily one of the greatest things I've ever done in my life, taking my mom there after my brother passed and all this.
[01:05:52]  When you're there and you're doing the laps, does somebody tell, forgive me, I'm ignorant to this, but does somebody tell you where you can stand?
[01:06:01]  Can you go up and be closer to it?
[01:06:03]  Yeah, you can.
[01:06:04]  You can.
[01:06:04]  You can be as close as you want to and you can.
[01:06:06]  And there's, you know, there's people that are overwhelmed by it.
[01:06:08]  Ah, there's, there's a lot of different emotions.
[01:06:11]  Yeah, there's a lot of different emotions.
[01:06:12]  I'm more of like, I'm not going to do that.
[01:06:15]  I'm not going to like try to topple people.
[01:06:17]  I just think it's very important to just be as controlled and as balanced as possible and to see it and appreciate it.
[01:06:25]  And if there's room to go and tell, I don't need to do it.
[01:06:28]  I don't feel the need to have to go and touch it and do all this because I just see so much chaos over there and everyone just kind of agree with disrupt yourself.
[01:06:38]  And everybody's feeling a certain thing and you don't know what emotions they're going through.
[01:06:42]  I lost my sister.
[01:06:43]  My brother, this guy could have lost his whole family.
[01:06:45]  I mean, you don't even know what loss people are going through, what mindset they're at, or what reasons they're doing it for.
[01:06:52]  So you don't, you know, I just try to stay in my own lane and just think and then just think about not of the faith.
[01:07:00]  Are you allowed to go?
[01:07:01]  No.
[01:07:01]  No, you're not a Muslim.
[01:07:03]  When people go there, are they going there with a prayer in mind per se?
[01:07:08]  Are they going there to like maybe seek advice or a message?
[01:07:12]  Like, is it both?
[01:07:14]  I think it's all of the things together.
[01:07:16]  Like, number one is that you're going there to purify your heart and essentially cleanse yourself.
[01:07:20]  And so there's things that you follow while you're there, things you can say while you're going around, and there's ways to do that.
[01:07:26]  But really, what it boils down to is being as like internal about it, like being really from the heart and having your intention with the divine.
[01:07:35]  You know, that's really, really what it's about.
[01:07:37]  It's like you can just keep talking to God while you're walking around.
[01:07:40]  Sure, there's things, there is an actual, you know, things you can say on the way there while you're going around.
[01:07:47]  There is like things you can do 100%.
[01:07:51]  In the end, like you have to be like your intention and with God and the things that you say, the things that you pray for and ask for.
[01:07:58]  That's the most important thing.
[01:08:00]  It's like you being like in tune with the divine, you know?
[01:08:04]  And I keep saying like divine and God.
[01:08:06]  It's like the way I was taught.
[01:08:07]  It's like your incomprehension of God is your comprehension of God.
[01:08:10]  Yeah, acknowledging that you can't possibly comprehend exactly.
[01:08:14]  Exactly.
[01:08:14]  Exactly.
[01:08:15]  Like you're, if you try to describe what God is, your brain should short circuit.
[01:08:18]  Exactly.
[01:08:19]  Yeah.
[01:08:19]  It's for your comprehension.
[01:08:20]  Exactly.
[01:08:21]  Exactly.
[01:08:21]  Yeah.
[01:08:22]  It's easily one of the greatest things I've ever done in my life.
[01:08:26]  It was hardest, one of the hardest things.
[01:08:28]  And the first one you do, you do it.
[01:08:30]  You have to do it for yourself.
[01:08:32]  And then the other times you do it, you can do it on behalf of others.
[01:08:35]  You know, like people who couldn't go.
[01:08:37]  Oh, you can make the intention to do that.
[01:08:39]  Yeah.
[01:08:39]  Oh, wow.
[01:08:40]  And so it was my third time.
[01:08:42]  I made an intention for someone else, you know.
[01:08:45]  And you go and do it on their behalf.
[01:08:47]  At this point, going, people must know you.
[01:08:49]  Like, they must be so familiar with you.
[01:08:50]  Are people stopping you while you're actually sometimes they're smiling, but it's a very respectful thing, to be honest.
[01:08:55]  I'll get messages after, like, I saw it.
[01:08:57]  I'm like, I saw you, brother, but I didn't want to interrupt you.
[01:09:00]  It's a very, very sweet thing.
[01:09:01]  It's not probably hyped too.
[01:09:03]  They're hyped too.
[01:09:04]  They're in tune, but they see you.
[01:09:05]  And then sometimes it breaks that, you know, focus a little bit.
[01:09:08]  But for the most part, it's everyone is there for a particular purpose and they understand that.
[01:09:13]  So they don't really interrupt that at all.
[01:09:15]  It's very cool.
[01:09:16]  Like they don't really, really don't.
[01:09:17]  And actually, most of them were just thrilled to see my son.
[01:09:19]  He was the main attraction.
[01:09:21]  You know what I mean?
[01:09:22]  Just seeing this not even two-year-old like go around is such a blessed thing.
[01:09:26]  Kids are like, they see this as like he's like the innocent, the purest one.
[01:09:29]  So they he was he was getting way more attention than I was, you know.
[01:09:33]  And I was praying for him most of the time, praying for him, my wife, and those I've lost before.
[01:09:37]  Why, why is that place specifically so important?
[01:09:40]  Like, what is the historical significance of it?
[01:09:43]  Is that that's the first place of worship ever, you know, ever in the Abraham religion?
[01:09:48]  Yes, yeah.
[01:09:48]  In all religions, yeah.
[01:09:50]  Abraham, Prophet Abraham.
[01:09:51]  Oh, I didn't know that went back to Abraham.
[01:09:54]  Yeah, yeah.
[01:09:54]  Oh, wow.
[01:09:56]  Abraham built the Kaba.
[01:09:57]  Yes, I believe so.
[01:09:58]  Oh, wow.
[01:09:59]  So that's the thing.
[01:10:00]  He's fact-checked me on this, but I'm pretty sure that's exactly what it is because he's the one who saw the source.
[01:10:04]  This is the first time.
[01:10:05]  He saw the moon.
[01:10:06]  He saw the oneness of God and the monotheistic belief and religion.
[01:10:08]  And he, the story of Islam, is like he saw these statues and he broke.
[01:10:13]  Oh, I got some goosebumps.
[01:10:14]  He broke all the statues and then he put the hammer around the big statue.
[01:10:18]  And everyone's like, oh my God, the big statue, you know, destroyed all he's like, what are you talking about?
[01:10:22]  I did that.
[01:10:22]  Like, you know, this is ridiculous.
[01:10:24]  But it's interesting.
[01:10:25]  It just kind of broke that whole moat.
[01:10:26]  Are you looking that up?
[01:10:28]  Wow, that's the first temple?
[01:10:30]  Yeah.
[01:10:31]  Okay, no, Abraham built the first temple.
[01:10:33]  King Solomon built it according to the book.
[01:10:35]  It's supposed to be built by Abraham and Ishmael.
[01:10:38]  Yeah.
[01:10:39]  Abraham and Ishmael built that the temple.
[01:10:42]  The Kaaba.
[01:10:43]  A Koya, the Kaaba.
[01:10:45]  Islamic text.
[01:10:46]  Yeah.
[01:10:47]  Wow.
[01:10:47]  And then what would the difference be, a Kaaba compared to a temple compared to a it's a place of worship?
[01:10:53]  I mean, it's like, I don't, again, like, it's one of those things that I don't want to misspeap.
[01:10:57]  It's very, very important that I keep it clear.
[01:10:58]  But do your research, do the thing, and I'd love to talk about it more clearly.
[01:11:02]  But this is like the different setting for that.
[01:11:03]  You know what I mean?
[01:11:04]  Yeah, wow.
[01:11:06]  Oh, I didn't know that it went all the way back to the source.
[01:11:10]  Oh, yeah.
[01:11:12]  Yeah, it's been destroyed and rebuilt and destroyed.
[01:11:14]  But there's many, obviously, many things that have happened throughout history since then, but it's an extremely, you know, powerful place for sure.
[01:11:23]  And are like Christians and Jews, do they also revere that place?
[01:11:29]  Well, Christian and Jews will go to Jerusalem, right?
[01:11:32]  That's what I've always seen as Jerusalem.
[01:11:34]  So it used to be like pilgrims would go to Jerusalem until the Prophet Muhammad changed the Kaaba.
[01:11:39]  Sorry, the excuse me, the direction of Christ.
[01:11:43]  I feel the pressure that you have to get this right.
[01:11:46]  No, it's really important.
[01:11:47]  I make sure you're not going to be able to do that.
[01:11:48]  I know it's important to you, and I can feel that.
[01:11:51]  And there's this part of me that's like, I really empathize with that because I can see how important it is to you, and you don't want to get it wrong.
[01:11:57]  Yeah, of course not.
[01:11:58]  It's very important.
[01:12:00]  Yeah, yeah.
[01:12:00]  But I do know for a fact that you used to pray towards Jerusalem and then it was changed to Mecca.
[01:12:06]  So the prophet, peace be upon him, he says that this is going to be the new place because it was the original place.
[01:12:12]  Yes.
[01:12:13]  And this is where.
[01:12:14]  Oh, wow.
[01:12:14]  Wow, wow.
[01:12:15]  So you should be there, yeah.
[01:12:16]  But Jews and Christians don't.
[01:12:18]  They look at Jerusalem as more.
[01:12:20]  Yes, they look at Jerusalem.
[01:12:21]  Yeah.
[01:12:21]  Jerusalem.
[01:12:22]  They go to Bethlehem and Nazareth.
[01:12:23]  Obviously.
[01:12:24]  The birthplace of Jesus.
[01:12:25]  Yeah, exactly.
[01:12:26]  Oh, wow.
[01:12:26]  They don't also have the same obligation for like a Hajj that Muslims have.
[01:12:30]  Right.
[01:12:30]  That there's like an actual specific place to go to.
[01:12:33]  Yeah.
[01:12:33]  And I think that there's a connection between them.
[01:12:34]  They do feel that way.
[01:12:35]  Like it is some sort of like pilgrimage to them.
[01:12:37]  But the idea is that, you know, the idea is that Christians, and it's a beautiful thing.
[01:12:42]  You know, there's a lot of Palestinian Christians too.
[01:12:44]  Like, where do you think it came from?
[01:12:46]  You know what I'm saying?
[01:12:47]  So, so it's like there's a lot of brown people.
[01:12:50]  You're welcome.
[01:12:53]  And that's where they go.
[01:12:55]  They would go visit Bethlehem, Nazareth, of course, and they would tour those lands.
[01:12:59]  I will say when I went to Jerusalem.

=== Survivor Guilt in Jerusalem (12:19) ===

[01:13:01]  It's a beautiful thing.
[01:13:02]  And like, again, I obviously never been to Mecca, but like what you were describing in terms of like the intensity of the worship there, like everybody there is like, it's game time.
[01:13:12]  Yeah.
[01:13:12]  This is the thing that I believe.
[01:13:15]  And we're talking about everybody.
[01:13:16]  Yeah, stories are there.
[01:13:17]  This is the thing that matters to me the most and I love it and I appreciate it and I'm in the presence of it right now.
[01:13:23]  And it was quite overwhelming that feeling.
[01:13:27]  It was quite overwhelming.
[01:13:28]  It is.
[01:13:28]  And someone who did not grow up religious at all, I was like caught up in it in a way that I've never experienced anything else.
[01:13:34]  It's incredible, man.
[01:13:35]  It's like really a profound feeling that you have.
[01:13:38]  And it's just like the energy.
[01:13:40]  You know, it's a real thing.
[01:13:41]  That many people coming together for this sole purpose of just like being faithful and their belief in God is just a beautiful thing.
[01:13:50]  They have this addition to a higher power that's so unknown.
[01:13:53]  Yeah, yeah.
[01:13:54]  It's incredible.
[01:13:54]  It's incredible.
[01:13:55]  And I remember being so torn up because I was visiting my family in the West Bank.
[01:13:59]  And my aunt, you know, she doesn't have the same freedom as I would because I have a U.S. passport.
[01:14:03]  She was just begging for me to put her in the trust.
[01:14:05]  Just take me with you, please.
[01:14:07]  To go back home.
[01:14:07]  Put me in the trunk to go to Jerusalem.
[01:14:09]  Oh, she's in the West Bank.
[01:14:10]  You can't witness it.
[01:14:11]  They can't go freely.
[01:14:12]  You have to get permits.
[01:14:13]  They're usually denied.
[01:14:15]  And they're right there because it is all separated by the apartheid wall.
[01:14:18]  Oh, and you are.
[01:14:20]  Oh, yeah.
[01:14:20]  Me that the Jews are telling you to stop talking too much today.
[01:14:31]  So yeah, it's like it's a very painful thing for me, you know because like, I grew up with these stories from my mother and talking about my grandfather and those stories of like where where, you know, there's so many Palestinian Christians and, of course, there's Palestinian Jews and Muslims as the majority, but it was not the life that that I see today and and what that, what has turned into today, is really, really disheartening.
[01:14:53]  Do you have that thing that uh, it's called, say the least, it's?
[01:14:56]  My heart is shattered, bro.
[01:14:57]  Yeah, it's survivor's guilt.
[01:14:59]  Have you heard of that, that term?
[01:15:01]  So I just, I don't know about survivor's guilt and all this term.
[01:15:05]  I know, I know, i've heard of it.
[01:15:06]  Yeah, I think about it as just it's just like um, I don't know about survivor's guilt, but I feel like my heart is shattered and I just, you know, you think that it can't get worse and it does and you feel helpless.
[01:15:20]  So, the best way that I can contribute in any kind of way because I do believe in a unifying rather than like being just like this instigator it's, there's too many of that going on yeah, so it's just like really, really important for me to share, like really grounded stories from where I come from and what it is.
[01:15:36]  I don't call it survivor's guilt because you know I don't.
[01:15:39]  I don't think that's.
[01:15:40]  My parents were just trying to do the right thing and have a future for me, so that's.
[01:15:42]  They thought coming to Texas was the best thing.
[01:15:44]  Yeah, you know what I mean and it has been and it has been, and I and being huh, didn't it?
[01:15:50]  It was the best thing.
[01:15:51]  Like absolutely in terms of your impact like, could your parents ever imagine the impact that you've had on your people's lives?
[01:16:00]  My mom is blown away.
[01:16:01]  This is what I knew, this is what I conceptualized.
[01:16:03]  Coming to Houston never could have that type of thing, never.
[01:16:07]  Nobody saw it come.
[01:16:08]  My father passed when I was 14, so I don't.
[01:16:10]  I know that he would be wildly proud of it, like insanely proud.
[01:16:13]  He would be like he would not only proud.
[01:16:15]  Blown away astonished, astonished.
[01:16:17]  Does your mom tell everybody that you're her son?
[01:16:20]  My mom doesn't really talk like.
[01:16:21]  She's very my mom is very protective.
[01:16:22]  She's old school, like this.
[01:16:24]  But this is when I knew I was famous for real.
[01:16:26]  For real.
[01:16:26]  My mom got a whatsapp video of me and they didn't know they were forwarding it for my mom.
[01:16:33]  Wow, you know what I mean.
[01:16:35]  They're like, have you seen this guy?
[01:16:36]  You know what i'm saying.
[01:16:37]  Yeah, it's when I was like oh, i'm like what's that?
[01:16:39]  I'm fucking whatsapp famous bro.
[01:16:41]  What are those views like on whatsapp?
[01:16:43]  Those whatsapp immigrant views are crazy.
[01:16:47]  You hit that.
[01:16:47]  I was like, you made it bro, I made it for real.
[01:16:51]  If my mom is getting whatsapp message, have you seen this guy?
[01:16:54]  Incredible because there was a few moments where I, you know, I do showcase the village that we come from in my series and and my second special Muhammad in Texas.
[01:17:02]  Uh, where I go back to our village, and it was just such a profound and funny story at the same time.
[01:17:07]  Like I went to the mosque and I was just like.
[01:17:09]  I was like, oh my god, it's when my father prayed, my grandfather prayed.
[01:17:12]  This is the first time I ever went there in 2009 when I was allowed to go back and I and I get there and I do you know a quick little prayer there and i'm thinking and i'm waiting for me to pray, to go off, and then uh, this guy goes, hey, it's time for mega to pray.
[01:17:24]  Do the call to prayer.
[01:17:25]  I was like no, i'm not doing the call to prayer.
[01:17:27]  He's like no no, do the call to prayer.
[01:17:28]  I was like I don't want to do it.
[01:17:29]  He's like you have a beard.
[01:17:29]  I was like what the hell does it matter if I have a beard or not, I don't want to do the call.
[01:17:32]  A lot of pressure to do the call to prayer to the entire village, and they finally force.
[01:17:36]  It's like, Just do it.
[01:17:36]  I'm like, okay, I'll do it.
[01:17:37]  You know, it's one of those things.
[01:17:39]  And I get on the mic and I do the call to prayer.
[01:17:41]  I'm just like overwhelmed.
[01:17:42]  It's like, oh my God.
[01:17:43]  And this guy comes right in, right?
[01:17:46]  Who did the call to prayer?
[01:17:47]  Like this?
[01:17:48]  And everybody sells me out.
[01:17:49]  Even my cousin.
[01:17:50]  He's like, this guy.
[01:17:51]  I was like, wait, wait, wait, wait.
[01:17:52]  They made me do the call to prayer.
[01:17:53]  Why?
[01:17:54]  He's like, wait, you did it 10 minutes early.
[01:17:56]  I was like, that's not what the clock says.
[01:17:57]  He goes, that clock is 10 minutes ahead.
[01:17:59]  I was like, bro, that's how the hell am I supposed to do this?
[01:18:00]  Why don't y'all fix the clock?
[01:18:02]  It's a digital clock.
[01:18:02]  I'm sure just a couple of buttons will fix the whole situation.
[01:18:05]  And he was like, wait a second.
[01:18:07]  I know everybody in this village.
[01:18:08]  Who are you?
[01:18:09]  I've never seen you before.
[01:18:10]  I tell him my name.
[01:18:11]  He goes, huh?
[01:18:12]  He goes, who's your father?
[01:18:13]  I tell him my father is.
[01:18:15]  He gets so quiet.
[01:18:17]  He goes, oh man.
[01:18:20]  He goes, Mustafa.
[01:18:23]  He goes, you know, who installed the sound system in here?
[01:18:26]  No way.
[01:18:27]  It's your father.
[01:18:28]  No way.
[01:18:30]  Crazy.
[01:18:31]  Holy lost it.
[01:18:34]  Not in that moment, but I had to walk away.
[01:18:36]  And I'm just like, holy shit.
[01:18:39]  That is when it became a whole story.
[01:18:41]  My mom found out about it immediately.
[01:18:43]  She called me up, yo, you're doing call to prayer 10 minutes early?
[01:18:46]  You know, it was like a whole thing, but they didn't know like how.
[01:18:49]  And I have it all on video.
[01:18:50]  So I put it in like in my encore and in the Mahala Texas special.
[01:18:54]  It was just so that I reenacted it like in a series and episode season two.
[01:19:00]  Yeah, beautiful.
[01:19:00]  It was really, really dope, man.
[01:19:02]  So it's just like things like that.
[01:19:03]  I think comedy sincerely has like saved my life where being generationally displaced and has allowed me to like rekindle all my family across the world.
[01:19:12]  Yeah.
[01:19:12]  Being to perform in all these different places around the planet has created like this situation for me where I'm like the glue to keep everybody together.
[01:19:20]  Yeah.
[01:19:20]  I didn't choose to do it.
[01:19:21]  It just chose me.
[01:19:22]  And to be in that position has really been priceless.
[01:19:26]  And the fact that I get to share it with my son now is just amazing.
[01:19:31]  Forget about it.
[01:19:33]  Is there like a like your relationship with America, right?
[01:19:38]  Like you've had so much success and you've been able to not only create a career that is incredibly successful, but like on your own terms of success.
[01:19:56]  While at the same time, there are things that as America has done around the world that has deeply impacted your family.
[01:20:00]  Sure.
[01:20:01]  Like, how are you juggling that?
[01:20:03]  You go, is there a part of you that's like internally?
[01:20:06]  Yeah.
[01:20:06]  Like, are you?
[01:20:07]  I imagine there's part of you that's like very angry about it, but then maybe is there part of you that's like very grateful for some of the things that America provides.
[01:20:14]  Of course.
[01:20:14]  First of all, I'm American.
[01:20:16]  Yeah.
[01:20:16]  You know, so it's like that's happening.
[01:20:19]  First of all, it's really important to note, you know, like I am American and I am also Palestinian.
[01:20:24]  So it's like those are a balance that needs to happen inside both internally.
[01:20:28]  And what I did was, like, especially after 9-11, like, I started standing up in 95.
[01:20:33]  I was a little teenager, bro.
[01:20:35]  Like, little, I was 13 years old.
[01:20:36]  Oh, not even 14 yet.
[01:20:38]  And I was after my father died.
[01:20:39]  I was just like doing stand-up in class and all that shit.
[01:20:41]  Fast forward to me doing stand-up in the clubs.
[01:20:43]  I realized very quickly, like, I'm the only one here.
[01:20:46]  There's nobody else.
[01:20:48]  You know, this is the laugh spot.
[01:20:50]  It was one of the clubs I started at back then.
[01:20:52]  It's Laugh Stop, Laugh Spot, and the Comedy Showcase.
[01:20:55]  And I used to go to these clubs, and there was not another Muslim or Arab in sight, you know.
[01:21:00]  And all the white communities just wanted to be Bill Hicks and Sam King.
[01:21:03]  You know, like that was the whole crews that were there.
[01:21:05]  And I didn't even know who these guys were.
[01:21:07]  They've been in the country like eight years.
[01:21:09]  I don't even know.
[01:21:09]  They're like, you don't know who they are.
[01:21:10]  What the fuck's wrong?
[01:21:11]  You know, it's that thing.
[01:21:12]  So I realized that there's a tremendous responsibility there.
[01:21:15]  And also, like, oh, I'm the first guy.
[01:21:17]  This is, this is a huge responsibility.
[01:21:19]  It's cool, but also, like, you better be fucking good.
[01:21:23]  And then after 9-11, it did this hard switch where it was like, oh, there's even a bigger responsibility now.
[01:21:30]  Because I got invited to go do shows in Germany, Italy, and Sicily for U.S. troops in April of 2001.
[01:21:38]  I was like 19 years old.
[01:21:40]  They gave me this day.
[01:21:40]  I didn't even have a passport.
[01:21:41]  I had a refugee travel document.
[01:21:43]  I go do these shows.
[01:21:45]  I didn't even know.
[01:21:46]  I went to the German consul the day.
[01:21:48]  I'm flying out.
[01:21:48]  I was like, I need a visa.
[01:21:49]  He's like, what are you stupid?
[01:21:51]  You're supposed to be here way before.
[01:21:52]  He goes, but you're in luck.
[01:21:54]  He goes, the travel document is issued by the United States does not require a visa to enter Germany.
[01:22:00]  And today, the Schengen law goes into effect that when you fly into a European country, you can fly in domestically everywhere else.
[01:22:08]  I mean, what are the chances of that deal?
[01:22:12]  I went, did that whole tour, doing shows with the U.S. military, crazy, had a different meaning to it then.
[01:22:17]  Five months later, 9-11 happens.
[01:22:19]  Shifts, I was booked to do Japan, Korea, Guam, these military tours there.
[01:22:22]  And then they canceled me.
[01:22:24]  They were like, oh, you know, we're worried about your safety.
[01:22:26]  I was like, my safety?
[01:22:27]  Nobody, nothing's going to happen.
[01:22:28]  I believed in it.
[01:22:29]  I was like, oh, it was really a moment where I was scared to be myself.
[01:22:34]  And I thought like the best approach is to go do these shows.
[01:22:38]  I could be myself in front of them.
[01:22:40]  I could be myself in front of anybody.
[01:22:42]  And it was really, and I ended up doing it.
[01:22:44]  They loved me so much.
[01:22:44]  They brought me back three years in a row.
[01:22:47]  And I was able to connect with so many soldiers there and realize very quickly like the America occupies the entire planet, you know?
[01:22:55]  And once I started realizing this, and then I got invited to go to Kuwait and Iraq, the very place that I was, you know, that I fled from, I couldn't turn that down.
[01:23:03]  I was like, I got to go do this.
[01:23:04]  It was before I even was a citizen.
[01:23:06]  So I had to like mislead the immigration officer to get into the country.
[01:23:10]  I just spoke perfect English.
[01:23:11]  Like, oh, well, I don't know.
[01:23:12]  We're doing shows for U.S. troops here and this and that.
[01:23:15]  And I end up at Saddam Hussein's Palace, which was converted into a hotel.
[01:23:21]  And it's just like, you know, experiencing that, being able to resolve everything that was going on in my heart and communicate with all these soldiers on such a human level and realizing that these guys didn't even want to be there and realize they were also misled in such a significant way is, you know, somehow made me feel more at ease about it.
[01:23:47]  And I was doing shows, but there was like all these U.S. soldiers here.
[01:23:50]  And there was like Iraqi soldiers up there.
[01:23:52]  I was flipping into Arabic.
[01:23:53]  Those guys were laughing.
[01:23:54]  I'll come back to English.
[01:23:55]  Those guys are laughing.
[01:23:56]  But the Americans are like, yo, would we trust this guy?
[01:23:58]  And I start talking shit about them with the Arabic and they start laughing.
[01:24:01]  And I start talking shit.
[01:24:02]  It was so, nobody's done this.
[01:24:04]  Nobody's ever going to do this again.
[01:24:05]  It's not possible.
[01:24:07]  Never going to happen.
[01:24:08]  And this is when I realized, like, oh, there was a big play here.
[01:24:11]  It wasn't really Saddam Hussein.
[01:24:12]  It wasn't really all this.
[01:24:13]  It was about like American domination in the region.
[01:24:16]  It just made me, it just settled things down a lot better for me.
[01:24:20]  And just like, and that's the way I kind of balanced things out.
[01:24:24]  It's like I hit them head on.
[01:24:25]  You know, anytime this week, because in my mind, that would make me feel a little bit more like, oh, fuck.
[01:24:30]  We're at this house.
[01:24:31]  No, because you understand, like, when you're mad, you don't understand it.
[01:24:34]  And then when you're upset about something, it's because you don't fully grasp, you don't fully grasp what happened.
[01:24:39]  But when you do understand it, it becomes more logical and it just helps you like heal, you know, it creates this thing.
[01:24:48]  And also, I got to go back to Kuwait.
[01:24:50]  I saw my aunt after like 20 years.
[01:24:52]  She was like another mom to me.
[01:24:54]  It's wild.
[01:24:54]  So they're supposed to escort me back to the plane, me another comedian.
[01:24:58]  That's her protocol.
[01:24:59]  And this is in 2009.
[01:25:00]  And they go, they go, no, no, we have to take you to the plane.
[01:25:03]  I was like, come on, man.
[01:25:04]  Just like, you know, just go ahead.
[01:25:06]  I booked my flight three days later so I can hang out with my family that I haven't seen in that long.
[01:25:10]  And then he gets a call.
[01:25:11]  He's like, oh, sorry.
[01:25:12]  I have to go back to, I don't mean, I got this call out of the suburban.
[01:25:15]  He goes into culture.
[01:25:17]  And he runs back to us.
[01:25:18]  He's like, I'm so sorry.
[01:25:19]  You guys are going to have to walk yourselves to the plane.

=== Hummus, Garlic, and Aunties (06:27) ===

[01:25:20]  Bradley Cooper just landed from Afghanistan.
[01:25:23]  I was like, Thank you, Bradley Cooper.
[01:25:25]  I was like, Tell him I said thank you.
[01:25:27]  He was like, What?
[01:25:27]  I was like, He'll get it later.
[01:25:30]  It was him and Dax Shepherd actually on their tour.
[01:25:32]  And I figured out Dax was on it when I did his podcast.
[01:25:35]  It was like nuts.
[01:25:36]  And yeah, he was just fresh off of Hangover, I think, and that whole tour.
[01:25:41]  So he flipped out, and then I got to spend like three days with my family that I haven't seen all that long and go to the house that we fled from.
[01:25:48]  And it was just that's the way I dealt with it: just like going there, seeing it with my own eyes, and just healing that way.
[01:25:57]  That's what's really helped me throughout that whole process.
[01:26:00]  Yeah, crazy, man.
[01:26:01]  Yes, that is just like I skipped so much.
[01:26:04]  But yeah, I mean, yeah, it's this is not the last time you're gonna be on here.
[01:26:09]  Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[01:26:10]  There's so many stories.
[01:26:11]  Yeah, we have so many stories.
[01:26:13]  Now, there is something that we wanted to do with you before we left because we know that you're a connoisseur of hummus.
[01:26:19]  So, we have a little hummus taste test.
[01:26:21]  No, you don't.
[01:26:23]  I already hate it.
[01:26:26]  Sucks, throw it away.
[01:26:28]  Who made this?
[01:26:29]  We have a little hummus.
[01:26:32]  Joey, can you bring in the hummus, please?
[01:26:34]  Thank you so much.
[01:26:34]  So, we have a little hummus taste test for you.
[01:26:37]  And, you know, once we'll go through that, yeah, in your opinion, where's the best hummus from?
[01:26:42]  Like, where can you is there a good hummus in New York City?
[01:26:44]  Hummus.
[01:26:45]  Yeah.
[01:26:46]  First of all, how you're pronouncing it really hurts.
[01:26:48]  I said, I said hummus.
[01:26:50]  Thank you so much.
[01:26:50]  I said hummus, you know what I mean?
[01:26:51]  Which I expected more from you, Akash.
[01:26:53]  How do you pronounce it?
[01:26:54]  It's hummus.
[01:26:55]  It's a ha.
[01:26:57]  Hummus.
[01:26:57]  Hummus.
[01:26:58]  It's hummus.
[01:26:59]  Hummus.
[01:27:00]  Hummus.
[01:27:00]  No, homos.
[01:27:01]  I don't know why you sound like pee-wee herbino.
[01:27:04]  Hummus herbs.
[01:27:05]  How do y'all sound at us?
[01:27:07]  No, hummus.
[01:27:08]  Hummus.
[01:27:08]  Ha.
[01:27:09]  Hammus.
[01:27:10]  Hammus.
[01:27:11]  Ha.
[01:27:11]  Say hummus.
[01:27:12]  Hummus.
[01:27:13]  I did this with the hummus.
[01:27:14]  I did this with the hanith.
[01:27:15]  You could just say hummus.
[01:27:16]  Hummus.
[01:27:17]  Fine.
[01:27:17]  Hummus.
[01:27:18]  Yeah, that's better.
[01:27:19]  But you're adding more of a to it.
[01:27:21]  No, I'm not.
[01:27:22]  Hummus.
[01:27:22]  That's better.
[01:27:23]  Hummus.
[01:27:23]  Say the white way.
[01:27:24]  It's perfect.
[01:27:24]  Hummus.
[01:27:25]  Yeah, hummus.
[01:27:25]  It's a white word.
[01:27:26]  Say hummus.
[01:27:27]  No, it's not a white word.
[01:27:28]  It is a white word.
[01:27:28]  It definitely means chickpeas in Arabic.
[01:27:30]  Hummus.
[01:27:31]  No, hummus.
[01:27:32]  That's what hummus is.
[01:27:32]  Chole, that's what we call it.
[01:27:34]  What is it?
[01:27:34]  Chole.
[01:27:35]  Chole.
[01:27:36]  First of all, yes.
[01:27:37]  This is all sacrilegious.
[01:27:39]  Why?
[01:27:40]  Why?
[01:27:40]  You don't have hummus and tupperware.
[01:27:42]  Because it's just fucking, no, not the Tupperware part.
[01:27:44]  The fact there's no garnish on it whatsoever.
[01:27:46]  You guys are monsters.
[01:27:47]  Absolute fucking monsters.
[01:27:49]  Okay.
[01:27:49]  You should be all disgusted with yourself.
[01:27:51]  Okay, so there's no haliboy on, which makes you fucking disgusting.
[01:27:54]  I was like, why don't you give me some goddamn cake?
[01:27:55]  Is there good hummus in New York City?
[01:27:57]  We got some people.
[01:27:58]  Yeah, yeah.
[01:27:58]  Okay, so this is number one.
[01:28:00]  First of all, that looks terrible.
[01:28:01]  Okay.
[01:28:02]  It's all chunky.
[01:28:03]  It's not supposed to be.
[01:28:04]  What is this?
[01:28:04]  Peanut butter with fucking nuts.
[01:28:06]  This is better.
[01:28:07]  Number two.
[01:28:07]  This is this is whoever made this deserves to be whipped.
[01:28:10]  17 lashes for sure.
[01:28:13]  Okay.
[01:28:14]  Whoever thinks this is appropriate is just disgusting.
[01:28:16]  And there's no staff for Allah.
[01:28:18]  You shouldn't say this about food because it's food.
[01:28:19]  So God forgive me.
[01:28:20]  So it's really beautiful.
[01:28:21]  Okay.
[01:28:22]  Each one looks worse than the other.
[01:28:24]  Okay.
[01:28:24]  What is this?
[01:28:25]  I feel like I'm in India.
[01:28:29]  What is this guy?
[01:28:29]  I made this one with my feet, to be honest.
[01:28:32]  It's probably going to taste the best.
[01:28:34]  Thank you.
[01:28:35]  I appreciate it.
[01:28:35]  You're welcome.
[01:28:36]  All right.
[01:28:37]  All right.
[01:28:37]  Here we go.
[01:28:38]  All right.
[01:28:39]  What am I supposed to be figuring out?
[01:28:40]  Which one's the worst?
[01:28:41]  Which one is the best?
[01:28:42]  Oh my God.
[01:28:43]  Or yeah.
[01:28:44]  You're all tricking me.
[01:28:44]  There's nobody that made this.
[01:28:46]  There's no tricks in this.
[01:28:48]  Did Mossad set this up?
[01:28:51]  Listen, it was every house.
[01:28:53]  Oh, man.
[01:28:54]  Okay.
[01:28:54]  Beepers are not funny.
[01:28:55]  Okay.
[01:28:56]  Let me get it.
[01:28:56]  Look at this.
[01:28:57]  Starve.
[01:28:59]  Yeah, it's so terrible.
[01:29:01]  Okay.
[01:29:01]  That's terrible.
[01:29:02]  Number one is terrible.
[01:29:03]  So much garlic.
[01:29:04]  Okay, two garlic.
[01:29:06]  Okay.
[01:29:06]  Oh, but is that what I'm doing?
[01:29:09]  We have to look afterwards.
[01:29:10]  We have to see afterwards.
[01:29:11]  I'll try.
[01:29:11]  Oh, my God.
[01:29:12]  You're saying this is two garlic.
[01:29:13]  Not bad.
[01:29:14]  But is this what about texture-wise?
[01:29:17]  And what about let me just give one more rep we're converting them?
[01:29:22]  It's very pasty, no?
[01:29:24]  You prefer it's supposed to be like a creamy pause flavor and texture to it.
[01:29:29]  It shouldn't be like glue.
[01:29:30]  It's kind of gluey.
[01:29:32]  Got it.
[01:29:32]  Okay.
[01:29:33]  This one has the most hope.
[01:29:35]  Okay.
[01:29:35]  Of all these.
[01:29:36]  Okay, let's go.
[01:29:37]  Let's go.
[01:29:37]  Let's go.
[01:29:38]  All right.
[01:29:38]  I'm trying.
[01:29:38]  Relax.
[01:29:41]  Yeah, see?
[01:29:41]  See how this is moving around for you?
[01:29:43]  I love this.
[01:29:43]  Where this one is.
[01:29:44]  I love this.
[01:29:46]  This is glue.
[01:29:46]  So you could just tell from how it's moving.
[01:29:48]  So we like the texture here.
[01:29:50]  Okay.
[01:29:52]  Okay.
[01:29:52]  Yeah, I'm right.
[01:29:53]  That one sounds good.
[01:29:55]  No.
[01:29:56]  Yeah, I don't know.
[01:29:57]  Somebody poured fucking cumin on this.
[01:29:59]  So much cumin on this.
[01:30:00]  God damn.
[01:30:00]  We're not familiar with cumulum.
[01:30:02]  You can't even taste it.
[01:30:03]  Okay.
[01:30:04]  Oh, it's just like flooding.
[01:30:05]  Number three.
[01:30:06]  Oh, so much cumin.
[01:30:08]  This is for someone who's worried about gas.
[01:30:11]  Can I ask you a question?
[01:30:11]  I noticed you take very little bread with your face.
[01:30:14]  Yeah, because these are terrible.
[01:30:17]  Okay, because I want to.
[01:30:19]  Fair enough.
[01:30:19]  You're doing this as a dude.
[01:30:20]  I'm also trying to watch my bread intake on the break.
[01:30:22]  All right, fair enough.
[01:30:22]  Fair enough.
[01:30:23]  I have this whole thing.
[01:30:24]  They would have had some carrots.
[01:30:25]  All right.
[01:30:25]  Oh, what's that?
[01:30:26]  I'm fucking horrible.
[01:30:28]  Horrible.
[01:30:28]  What did you guys put in this?
[01:30:30]  Fuck.
[01:30:31]  Hold on.
[01:30:33]  Is there tea in this?
[01:30:35]  That's so shot.
[01:30:36]  That might be the one Indians made.
[01:30:38]  No, no, hold on.
[01:30:39]  Okay, let's go.
[01:30:40]  I don't like that one.
[01:30:42]  That one I don't like.
[01:30:42]  That one's not even humble.
[01:30:44]  All right, what about this?
[01:30:45]  That's not real.
[01:30:48]  Somebody was in a rush when they made that.
[01:30:51]  Yeah, I like this one.
[01:30:53]  These two are the best ones so far.
[01:30:55]  Yeah, that's the best one.
[01:30:56]  That's quality?
[01:30:58]  I don't know what quality, but it's the best one.
[01:30:59]  That's the best of this.
[01:31:01]  Let me see.
[01:31:02]  Double check.
[01:31:02]  All right, here we go.
[01:31:03]  Okay, so that's one.
[01:31:05]  Okay, number four, you go with number four.
[01:31:07]  What is number three?
[01:31:09]  Hold on.
[01:31:10]  This is number one for you.
[01:31:11]  That was number two.
[01:31:13]  Three, four.
[01:31:13]  Yeah.
[01:31:14]  Yeah.
[01:31:14]  That's okay.
[01:31:14]  Yeah, that's right.
[01:31:15]  Let's look at number four.
[01:31:16]  Number four is Sabra.
[01:31:30]  I'm joking.
[01:31:31]  We're joking.
[01:31:34]  We wrote Sabra on that great one.
[01:31:39]  That's how it works.
[01:31:41]  That's the death of the cut.
[01:31:44]  Okay, what is number four?

=== Counting Down to Netflix (01:05) ===

[01:31:47]  Okay.
[01:31:49]  Number four is Salma Mediterranean Lebanese Restaurant in the East Village.
[01:31:53]  There you go.
[01:31:54]  Number one is Sabra.
[01:31:57]  Number two is Cedars.
[01:31:59]  That's a Lebanese place.
[01:32:00]  That's why, yep.
[01:32:01]  So this is.
[01:32:02]  So he picked the two Lebanese.
[01:32:05]  And then number three is Ithaca.
[01:32:07]  That's the worst one.
[01:32:08]  We all agree.
[01:32:09]  That's an American one.
[01:32:10]  Yeah, of course it is.
[01:32:11]  So I'll be, I got to give you credit.
[01:32:13]  They put like fucking green tea in this or some shit.
[01:32:15]  You did go.
[01:32:16]  Wow, that's.
[01:32:17]  You did go one, two, three, four.
[01:32:20]  Yeah.
[01:32:21]  Wow.
[01:32:21]  My man.
[01:32:22]  Yeah.
[01:32:22]  You thought it was a joke?
[01:32:25]  You think I do these for the clips?
[01:32:28]  I do this for my history, my lineage.
[01:32:30]  My coach Mo America go check out the Netflix special right now, Wild Worlds.
[01:32:34]  This is your third Netflix special.
[01:32:37]  Third Netflix special.
[01:32:38]  Make sure you go check them all out.
[01:32:39]  And then check out season two of his show, Mo.
[01:32:42]  Go do it right now.
[01:32:43]  Thank you so much for coming and just sharing the story and just hanging, man.
[01:32:46]  I really appreciate it.
[01:32:46]  I really like this, man.
[01:32:47]  I've been looking forward to this for a minute, bro.
[01:32:49]  Me too.
[01:32:49]  Really dope.
[01:32:50]  Love you, dog.
[01:32:50]  Thank you so much.
[01:32:51]  Thank y'all so much.
[01:32:52]  That sober thing is hilarious.