Flagrant - Andrew Schulz & Akaash Singh - Are You Garbage on Phillies Karen, Airplane Etiquette, & Nasty Hotel Stories
Aired: 2025-09-10
Duration: 01:39:55


=== Phillies Game Ball Exchange (05:12) ===

[00:00:00]  What happened at this Phillies game?
[00:00:01]  Do y'all know?
[00:00:01]  Dad gets it.
[00:00:02]  Nice.
[00:00:03]  He gives it to the son.
[00:00:04]  He gives it right to his kid.
[00:00:05]  Yeah, he gives it back to her.
[00:00:07]  That's a gentleman thing to do.
[00:00:09]  Now, f this lady.
[00:00:10]  He's always who's she giving the ball to?
[00:00:11]  She keeps it.
[00:00:12]  For herself?
[00:00:14]  What a f ⁇ .
[00:00:15]  Oh, man.
[00:00:15]  That look don't help her.
[00:00:16]  And that looks like every one of my aunts.
[00:00:18]  That is a is it garbage to have someone else come over and cook meats and steaks on your grill.
[00:00:23]  That's some cuck-ish.
[00:00:24]  Yeah, what do you mean?
[00:00:25]  That's wild.
[00:00:26]  No, he's a homie of mine.
[00:00:27]  We had a bunch of people over for Labor Day.
[00:00:29]  And I was like, you're way better at grilling than I am.
[00:00:31]  So if you're going to come over anyway, do you mind grilling?
[00:00:32]  He's like, God, I love grilling.
[00:00:33]  This is my love language.
[00:00:34]  The way I communicate my affection for people is when I cook.
[00:00:37]  That's just one language.
[00:00:38]  It's no my wife.
[00:00:38]  It's crazy.
[00:00:40]  We all go to hotels.
[00:00:42]  Probably jerk off in the hotel.
[00:00:43]  Where do you ejaculate?
[00:00:46]  One of us does it on the floor.
[00:00:49]  I've heard that a lot.
[00:00:50]  What?
[00:00:50]  What?
[00:00:52]  Listen, I'm not condoning it.
[00:00:54]  It makes you want to throw up.
[00:00:55]  Well, there, I don't think you want to hear what I do.
[00:00:56]  He puts his underwear back on a lot of times.
[00:01:00]  I'm way worse.
[00:01:02]  I used a comforter.
[00:01:05]  Are you?
[00:01:06]  No, don't lie to me.
[00:01:08]  It's a hotel.
[00:01:10]  YouTube comments saying we look about the same fully.
[00:01:13]  You didn't heat.
[00:01:14]  Oh, my God.
[00:01:14]  One episode, they crushed me, dude.
[00:01:16]  They were just like, how are you so fat so fast?
[00:01:18]  Yeah, hey, I've been there too.
[00:01:20]  You know what to do?
[00:01:21]  Put yourself next to a guy who's 400 pounds.
[00:01:23]  You're sitting over here.
[00:01:24]  Damn, I'm doing good.
[00:01:25]  Wait, aren't you on the thing, though?
[00:01:27]  Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
[00:01:27]  No, Zempy?
[00:01:28]  Bringing up old shit.
[00:01:31]  I was.
[00:01:32]  I was on a Zempic.
[00:01:33]  What happened?
[00:01:36]  We had a long talk and tried to go our several ways.
[00:01:39]  No, I was on it.
[00:01:40]  I did good.
[00:01:40]  We went to Ireland to film somebody.
[00:01:42]  He was doing great.
[00:01:43]  Doing great.
[00:01:43]  I mean, whatever.
[00:01:44]  I was taking that.
[00:01:45]  I wasn't doing anything else.
[00:01:45]  I wasn't doing great.
[00:01:46]  I was on a drug.
[00:01:47]  Are you too fat to make eye contact with me?
[00:01:56]  I don't know.
[00:01:57]  Trying to sit in here.
[00:01:59]  What?
[00:02:00]  The room?
[00:02:01]  This is not fun.
[00:02:01]  All right.
[00:02:02]  Okay.
[00:02:02]  Do you want to switch with me?
[00:02:04]  Okay.
[00:02:05]  I'm just saying you knuckled in over.
[00:02:06]  I would love to see what it looks like because this is.
[00:02:09]  Of course.
[00:02:09]  You want it for directing purposes, of course.
[00:02:11]  Yeah.
[00:02:11]  Yes.
[00:02:12]  Flat this thing a little bit.
[00:02:12]  Because it might look better.
[00:02:14]  Hey, guys, I'm going to trust you off cam on what looks better.
[00:02:18]  Okay.
[00:02:19]  All right.
[00:02:21]  God damn it.
[00:02:23]  That's better.
[00:02:24]  This is better.
[00:02:25]  Yeah.
[00:02:25]  Hey, come on.
[00:02:26]  You and me, buddy.
[00:02:27]  Hey, podcast is under the table, by the way.
[00:02:29]  Just so you guys know.
[00:02:30]  Just step your shit up.
[00:02:31]  Any of my coffee, please?
[00:02:33]  Say your grandmom's garage, all right?
[00:02:34]  We're doing a broadcast here.
[00:02:36]  Fuck it.
[00:02:37]  Hey.
[00:02:37]  Big hand does not like not on the table.
[00:02:40]  Don't get me on the table.
[00:02:41]  I'm always saying, hey, can we do it at the kitchen table at the Airbnb or whatever?
[00:02:44]  And every time they act like it's a fucking big deal.
[00:02:47]  I don't know.
[00:02:48]  The lighting and the sound.
[00:02:49]  And I'm sitting in the living room, my fucking nutsack hanging out the bottom of my jeans.
[00:02:53]  I don't think your nutsack is the thing we're noticing.
[00:02:55]  You believe it or not?
[00:02:56]  It is.
[00:02:57]  That's all I hear.
[00:02:57]  Look at the foolies moose knuckles.
[00:02:59]  Balls are huge.
[00:03:00]  And they know it's all balls.
[00:03:01]  They know it's no dick.
[00:03:02]  It's all balls.
[00:03:03]  It's all balls, man.
[00:03:04]  Big balls, dude.
[00:03:04]  That's important.
[00:03:05]  No, it's not.
[00:03:07]  I'm trying.
[00:03:07]  I don't want to go in fourth and one trying to lock it.
[00:03:10]  I go speaking real nice.
[00:03:11]  Like, that, you know, some girls like that.
[00:03:16]  I mean, there's some freaks out there that kind of gets them off.
[00:03:18]  I'm trying desperately.
[00:03:20]  I feel bad, dude.
[00:03:21]  What?
[00:03:22]  Killing it.
[00:03:23]  You seem uncomfortable.
[00:03:25]  I don't feel bad that you're 400 pounds.
[00:03:27]  That was you.
[00:03:28]  I just feel bad that you seem uncomfortable.
[00:03:29]  That's supposed to make me feel.
[00:03:31]  No, this is actually better.
[00:03:32]  It's perfect.
[00:03:33]  And I feel great.
[00:03:33]  I tried to give you a heart to heart.
[00:03:35]  Do you remember that years ago?
[00:03:36]  What?
[00:03:36]  I came up to you and I tried to give you our daughter.
[00:03:38]  No, you're fat.
[00:03:39]  What do you want?
[00:03:42]  What kind of teen dog?
[00:03:43]  I got a fucking bite after this.
[00:03:45]  What are you talking about?
[00:03:47]  Yeah, you caught, dude.
[00:03:49]  You caught fucking kids.
[00:03:50]  And only you can call someone else that and it can laugh.
[00:03:54]  That's crazy.
[00:03:56]  Because he's got skinny personality.
[00:03:58]  I'll be honest with you.
[00:03:59]  When we hugged, and then when you walked by me, you got my tattoo thing.
[00:04:02]  I was like, oh, he's working out because your shoulders look bigger in that sweatshirt.
[00:04:04]  Hey, thanks, dude.
[00:04:05]  Thanks.
[00:04:06]  I'm trying.
[00:04:06]  Four times a week.
[00:04:07]  Really get after it.
[00:04:08]  Do you want to work out with me?
[00:04:09]  No, no.
[00:04:10]  I'm not making any things like that because I always fall on them.
[00:04:12]  I just sort of zet found.
[00:04:14]  I'm two weeks into like a real dose.
[00:04:16]  So we'll see how it goes.
[00:04:17]  I feel better.
[00:04:18]  I'm not eating.
[00:04:18]  I was walking this weekend.
[00:04:20]  Yeah.
[00:04:20]  That's great.
[00:04:20]  They got a new one coming, too.
[00:04:22]  They got one that's even better.
[00:04:23]  Redatrutide.
[00:04:24]  What's it called?
[00:04:25]  Redatrutide.
[00:04:25]  I'm all up on my peptides now.
[00:04:27]  I'm all up on it, dude.
[00:04:28]  Wait, that's a peptide?
[00:04:28]  It's a peptide.
[00:04:29]  So is what you're doing.
[00:04:30]  It's a peptide.
[00:04:30]  I thought that was a G-O-B-1 or something.
[00:04:33]  That's a peptide.
[00:04:34]  Yeah, you're on peptides now, dude.
[00:04:36]  You said BLT.
[00:04:36]  What'd you say?
[00:04:39]  BLT number three.
[00:04:41]  I got your prize.
[00:04:42]  That's how they get you.
[00:04:43]  All the lettuce and tomato.
[00:04:46]  There's another British thing that's been in my head.
[00:04:48]  Those bacon sandwiches I keep hearing people talk about.
[00:04:50]  What are straight bread and bacon?
[00:04:53]  Just a British thing?
[00:04:55]  Yeah, bacon sandwiches.
[00:04:56]  I listen, I've been to London about six, seven times.
[00:04:59]  I never seen a fucking bacon sandwich.
[00:05:03]  No, to answer your question about the hose epic.
[00:05:06]  I did go on it, but I wasn't doing anything.
[00:05:08]  I wasn't like eating the protein that you showed.
[00:05:10]  I wasn't working out.
[00:05:10]  I wasn't walking.
[00:05:11]  I was just letting that work.

=== Peptides and BLT Orders (10:54) ===

[00:05:12]  And it did, but I felt like shit the whole time.
[00:05:14]  Yeah, yeah.
[00:05:16]  And then we were going to Ireland to shoot some stuff for Patreon.
[00:05:20]  And you guys have a Patreon is cooking.
[00:05:24]  Yeah.
[00:05:25]  We're up there, baby.
[00:05:27]  How many patrons you got?
[00:05:28]  I want to ask you about dollars.
[00:05:30]  No, it's all public.
[00:05:31]  $15,000 strong.
[00:05:32]  It's public.
[00:05:32]  It's $130,000.
[00:05:34]  Wow.
[00:05:35]  That's far.
[00:05:36]  That is awesome.
[00:05:37]  Wait, what?
[00:05:38]  Cut that.
[00:05:39]  Come back.
[00:05:39]  Come there.
[00:05:40]  I mean, it's $14,000 a year.
[00:05:43]  So, what do you guys do on the Patreon that everybody else is missing?
[00:05:46]  You're like the case study.
[00:05:48]  We are.
[00:05:49]  We were.
[00:05:50]  You were.
[00:05:51]  We studied.
[00:05:51]  We, you know, you guys had laid the format for us for, you know, to do it.
[00:05:56]  And we kind of, you know, it's kind of just stupid because we're dirtbags at heart.
[00:05:59]  So like, it was like very value-based.
[00:06:01]  Yeah.
[00:06:02]  It was like, just give everybody, make a $10 level and give them more shit on the $10 level.
[00:06:07]  So like 99% of the people are at the $10 level.
[00:06:09]  They're very smart.
[00:06:11]  Because they would join for the five and then be like, well, there's, you know, I get a whole nother show.
[00:06:15]  And you guys have really poured into the pot.
[00:06:16]  Like, your tours are together.
[00:06:18]  You are a product.
[00:06:19]  That's the sum of the, we've learned independently, we are not as good as we are together.
[00:06:25]  The sum of the parts is better than the part.
[00:06:26]  Yeah, but you guys still put out your own specials.
[00:06:28]  Oh, I guess I say, like, but it's on the same channel.
[00:06:30]  Yeah, which is great.
[00:06:31]  But it's also like, you know, there's a thing where like you do this with like your friends when you're younger, you know, when you're like, I remember you guys coming up right underneath like our class.
[00:06:40]  Like yes.
[00:06:40]  Coming up from Philly together.
[00:06:42]  Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[00:06:42]  Yeah.
[00:06:43]  I think we took over the Village Lantern after you guys literally the same club Schultz and I came up at.
[00:06:48]  You guys were like, yeah, the generation ahead of us.
[00:06:50]  We would like tell stories like Schultz and Ahkosh did this.
[00:06:52]  And we would like try.
[00:06:53]  We try to dress cool and shit.
[00:06:54]  It was so it was so we were trying to be you.
[00:06:57]  I remember I came, I got like a sweatshirt with like a leather patch on it.
[00:07:00]  And he's like, what the fuck is that?
[00:07:03]  I almost had that on right now.
[00:07:04]  I had that polo zippo.
[00:07:07]  We look great now, dude.
[00:07:08]  Pure sex.
[00:07:09]  Yeah.
[00:07:09]  You're married.
[00:07:10]  Yeah.
[00:07:10]  Where'd you guys get married?
[00:07:12]  Hawaii.
[00:07:13]  So listen, you guys keep saying you're garbage.
[00:07:15]  I don't know what's so garbage about getting married in Hawaii.
[00:07:17]  You know what's garbage?
[00:07:18]  He's lost all of his money on the wedding.
[00:07:19]  And it was a day before Christmas and made everybody fly out and ruin Christmas for everybody.
[00:07:24]  And I ran into this guy on the uh on the airplane.
[00:07:26]  Oh, we were on the plane together.
[00:07:27]  Yeah, you guys were in Hawaii the same weekend.
[00:07:31]  Same weekend.
[00:07:32]  And not because we were invited to the wedding.
[00:07:33]  No, because there was a last-minute invite throwing my way.
[00:07:37]  I was like, yeah, come through or something.
[00:07:38]  I did.
[00:07:38]  I did throw it up to the boys.
[00:07:40]  Yeah.
[00:07:40]  A little storm power day.
[00:07:41]  You know what I mean?
[00:07:43]  He's like, are Schultz and the boys come?
[00:07:44]  I'm like, dude, they're not coming here.
[00:07:45]  There's a lot of chicks there.
[00:07:46]  I want them to look cool.
[00:07:47]  Rachel?
[00:07:51]  I'm going up to the girl.
[00:07:52]  I was like, it's not that serious.
[00:07:54]  I would have gone, honestly, but the women were friends, really.
[00:07:57]  The wedding was the same night as the show.
[00:07:58]  So, yes, it was.
[00:08:00]  Yeah, it was.
[00:08:00]  But I got on the plane and we were talking.
[00:08:02]  We were just, you know, chit-chatting.
[00:08:03]  And then we got into first class, and then Kippie left.
[00:08:06]  And he was like, Yeah, I'm right here.
[00:08:08]  Which one are you in?
[00:08:09]  And I was like, Oh, I'm a front of the plane.
[00:08:11]  I'm like, I'm a little farther in the back.
[00:08:12]  And then I got all the way to 34C.
[00:08:14]  You're flying first?
[00:08:15]  Me?
[00:08:15]  Yeah.
[00:08:16]  Lay flat.
[00:08:17]  Yeah.
[00:08:18]  And then I walked to 34C.
[00:08:19]  And then he was like, I was in 1A, dog.
[00:08:22]  I was fucking locked up.
[00:08:23]  And then the best part is that I got in the back of the plane and I was going to text him like, yo, something, someone hit me with the details whenever we landed.
[00:08:29]  I saw that he did a show that I do in East Village, and I never paid him.
[00:08:33]  So from the back of the plane, he didn't Venmo me money.
[00:08:36]  I thought he was sitting there.
[00:08:38]  A glass of champagne.
[00:08:39]  It was actually my PA, but I'm trying to be classy right there.
[00:08:43]  It was about 9 a.m.
[00:08:44]  I got a bell's too hard at it.
[00:08:46]  I watched him crushing it.
[00:08:47]  And he Venmo's me like $12.50.
[00:08:50]  I was hearing him cackling from out front.
[00:08:53]  I'm so pissed in the back of the plane.
[00:08:55]  He's like, God damn it.
[00:08:56]  You should have used it to buy yourself a snack box.
[00:08:59]  I should have, dude.
[00:09:00]  I got a fucking shit.
[00:09:00]  Hey, this is actually set up a bento box and trying to straighten them out.
[00:09:04]  In honor of you guys asking what's you, you decide if a person is garbage or not, or what they're doing is garbage or not, regardless of wealth, regardless of anything.
[00:09:12]  Is this garbage?
[00:09:13]  I will always recline my seat on a plane and I'm 5'7.
[00:09:17]  I'm 5'7.
[00:09:19]  And I will always recline the seat on a plane.
[00:09:21]  This is a big all the way back, baby.
[00:09:23]  Boom.
[00:09:24]  Oh, as soon as we're in the air, if I can't.
[00:09:27]  As soon as I remember.
[00:09:28]  What about a long flight where they're doing dinner service?
[00:09:30]  Yeah.
[00:09:32]  Now, these days.
[00:09:33]  They pull you up.
[00:09:33]  Hey, sorry, you want to chill until these days it's the lay flat on the long flight.
[00:09:37]  Okay, so don't worry about it.
[00:09:38]  But if I'm a con, it don't matter.
[00:09:40]  I've flown economy.
[00:09:41]  I'm laying that bitch back.
[00:09:42]  Doesn't that doesn't you guys recline people?
[00:09:45]  Or are you getting controversy?
[00:09:47]  I wait until they do that last check that you have your seatbelt on, and then I'm back before we even get to the next one.
[00:09:53]  This guy's a genius.
[00:09:54]  That's what I'm doing.
[00:09:56]  Once they do the last check, they never got it.
[00:09:58]  This guy will go foolish.
[00:10:01]  He'll have the lay flat seat.
[00:10:02]  And as soon as they do the last check, he's laying down.
[00:10:05]  The plane is taking off and he's laying flat.
[00:10:07]  Yeah, that's some back of the school bus shit right there.
[00:10:10]  You know, street balls going around everybody.
[00:10:12]  That's not a racial comment.
[00:10:14]  Of course.
[00:10:15]  That's why I said school bus.
[00:10:18]  City bus would have been a bit more.
[00:10:23]  You know, no segregation there.
[00:10:28]  But to me, I'm like, if the plane says you can go back, then you can go.
[00:10:31]  That is the thing.
[00:10:31]  I think it's like when and how to do it.
[00:10:33]  It's like if you said if the person in front of you, and then this is just the way I operate.
[00:10:38]  I get it.
[00:10:38]  The way I operate, if the person in front of me doesn't do it, I don't do it.
[00:10:41]  If they do it, I might even just fucking bite the bullet and not go back.
[00:10:46]  That's the worst.
[00:10:47]  Wow.
[00:10:47]  You're sitting there with me.
[00:10:49]  I'm a good person.
[00:10:50]  But why?
[00:10:50]  If United Airlines says you're able to go back, why do you not go back?
[00:10:53]  If the person behind me's back, I'm going back.
[00:10:55]  I don't know.
[00:10:56]  Why does it matter what they do?
[00:10:57]  I don't know.
[00:10:58]  You're in their space.
[00:10:58]  Your head's dead.
[00:10:59]  You feel the same.
[00:11:00]  That's on United Airlines.
[00:11:02]  Listen, I want to be the change in the world.
[00:11:03]  You know what I mean?
[00:11:04]  That I want.
[00:11:04]  So I'm like, I'm not going back.
[00:11:06]  What are you talking about?
[00:11:07]  I'm a Delta man.
[00:11:08]  Who the fuck flies you?
[00:11:10]  Going out.
[00:11:11]  I flew United, missed a wedding.
[00:11:14]  I canceled my flights.
[00:11:15]  Yeah, I canceled my flights.
[00:11:16]  Now, the wedding was in Seattle.
[00:11:17]  I really didn't want to go because it was so far.
[00:11:19]  So that kind of worked out.
[00:11:20]  But canceled the flight.
[00:11:22]  You know what I mean?
[00:11:23]  That person's watching now, feeling like shit.
[00:11:25]  I love them.
[00:11:26]  It was a six-hour flight and they lost my luggage.
[00:11:28]  I was fucked.
[00:11:29]  It was God.
[00:11:30]  Did you get your luggage back?
[00:11:31]  I got it back.
[00:11:32]  Yeah, I got it back eventually.
[00:11:33]  Did they bring it to the house?
[00:11:34]  Yeah, that's kind of nice.
[00:11:35]  That's kind of nice, man.
[00:11:36]  Yeah.
[00:11:37]  I don't mind that.
[00:11:37]  Why don't I go to lug that shit into the airport?
[00:11:39]  Oh, wait a week.
[00:11:40]  Can you forget it?
[00:11:40]  You forget it on purpose.
[00:11:42]  You leave it in the bathroom.
[00:11:43]  That's not that idea.
[00:11:45]  Hey, check stall three.
[00:11:46]  I think my luggage is.
[00:11:47]  They usually get it there the same day, don't they?
[00:11:50]  I did not get it the same day, but yeah.
[00:11:51]  But that's because they probably couldn't find it.
[00:11:52]  Yeah, but they just go to the chemistry.
[00:11:54]  That's why I got canceled on the way.
[00:11:56]  So they lost my bag in the same airport that I dropped it off.
[00:11:59]  Yeah, you never made it out of nowhere.
[00:12:00]  That was crazy.
[00:12:02]  Who fucking is here?
[00:12:03]  Well, no, I've had that when they cancel it.
[00:12:05]  They just dump everything like by the street.
[00:12:07]  It's like Juarez.
[00:12:08]  It's fucking nuts.
[00:12:09]  You're just like, it's like a mass pile of shit.
[00:12:13]  But it's lawless, is what I meant.
[00:12:16]  But it's very, I'd say, worried about being racist there.
[00:12:19]  That's something that you're good.
[00:12:20]  That's not racial.
[00:12:21]  It's not racial.
[00:12:22]  It'd be more racial than it's lawless.
[00:12:23]  Not that there's that's not a racial stereo.
[00:12:24]  It's like there's a lot of luggage in Wars.
[00:12:27]  Please.
[00:12:27]  I don't want Santa Mike to come after me.
[00:12:32]  Okay.
[00:12:33]  Okay, so you guys are saying that's I can, but it's not.
[00:12:36]  It's fine.
[00:12:37]  I mean, yeah, it's not, you know.
[00:12:38]  If you change your mind on taking food home from a restaurant, he's you say that's garbage.
[00:12:42]  I remember from the first episode.
[00:12:43]  Yeah.
[00:12:43]  And it hurt me because every Indian will always take the food home.
[00:12:47]  It's not, we're not, this is non-negotiable.
[00:12:48]  Yeah.
[00:12:49]  I haven't changed my stance on that.
[00:12:51]  He says garbage to take food back with you after you eat.
[00:12:55]  I'm taking leftovers in a restaurant.
[00:12:56]  Have you guys implemented like also before I ask this?
[00:13:02]  I do want to just acknowledge I am where I want to dress fancy for you guys and we've never acknowledged it.
[00:13:06]  So now I just look like a lesbian.
[00:13:08]  Well, this is how cool you guys are.
[00:13:09]  I just thought that was in style.
[00:13:12]  Jean shorts and a blazer are what's hot.
[00:13:14]  And we were going to go get jean shorts and blazers.
[00:13:16]  We were supposed to do tuxedo shirts, but we couldn't find them.
[00:13:19]  So no, we have other garbage out there.
[00:13:22]  I just need to get in front of that.
[00:13:23]  When I walked in the studio and saw the offices of them, I saw you and that place.
[00:13:27]  I was like, man, these guys are really dope.
[00:13:29]  I was like, all right, fuck.
[00:13:30]  You want to talk to your cheese?
[00:13:31]  Be like, hey, leave it around.
[00:13:33]  I have that vibe.
[00:13:33]  But I wanted to ask: have you guys implemented like a, I don't know, an immigrant clause to the garbage matrix?
[00:13:41]  Because there's so much like white garbageness.
[00:13:43]  Yeah, you got to get it.
[00:13:43]  Like, you want to look at Octagon's.
[00:13:45]  Do we let them in the studio?
[00:13:47]  They off all forms of welcome.
[00:13:48]  Like, Octaj's family is Indian, so like their standard of what they do in this country might be different than white garbage.
[00:13:53]  It was never a question of taking food home.
[00:13:55]  It was just like what you did.
[00:13:56]  But that's an immigrant thing.
[00:13:57]  Yeah.
[00:13:58]  So you grade on a curve.
[00:13:59]  You're like, all right, well, that was in the same with the South.
[00:14:02]  You can't grade someone from Chicago the same as fucking Florida.
[00:14:05]  Exactly.
[00:14:06]  No, I see what you're saying.
[00:14:06]  But those, I mean, that's everybody.
[00:14:09]  That's still in Irish people, but it fades a little bit as the generations go on.
[00:14:14]  But that would be the leftover thing.
[00:14:16]  That's like inherently in people that struggle to take the food home.
[00:14:20]  You know what I mean?
[00:14:21]  And that's the story.
[00:14:23]  Yeah, of course.
[00:14:24]  So we do get to that point.
[00:14:25]  But when you have somebody comes in and they say, oh, my mom and aunt like to go to an all-you-can-eat lobster place and they line their purse with a plastic bag and put lobsters in their table.
[00:14:35]  It's a lot different.
[00:14:36]  This Kim Cockner will unborn.
[00:14:38]  That is garbage.
[00:14:40]  That's Florida.
[00:14:41]  That's got nothing to do with your nurture is.
[00:14:45]  Yeah.
[00:14:46]  Shout out to Kim.
[00:14:47]  Yeah, shouts.
[00:14:49]  Tour dates.
[00:14:50]  Your boy's going to be in Dania Beach for Lauderdale this weekend, September 11th through the 13th.
[00:14:55]  I don't know why they gave me that date, but they did.
[00:14:56]  September 25th through 27th.
[00:14:58]  I'm going to be in Cleveland, Ohio.
[00:14:59]  Dubai, October 5th.
[00:15:01]  I'm pretty sure tickets are sold out, but they might have released some more.
[00:15:03]  So go there.
[00:15:04]  October 16th through 18th, Rhode Island.
[00:15:06]  Also, there's more dates on the website, but one I will shout out, October 23rd through 25th.
[00:15:11]  We've already sold out one show, so y'all should buy your fucking tickets to that because they will sell out.
[00:15:15]  But those dates and more at akashing.com.
[00:15:17]  We got some big announcements coming in a couple weeks.
[00:15:19]  Can't say what they are, but I'm very excited.
[00:15:21]  We'll get back to y'all soon.
[00:15:23]  God bless.
[00:15:24]  Guys, there's a lot of cities we can suck Mark Gagnon's dick coming up.
[00:15:28]  I hope you're ready.
[00:15:29]  October 23rd, Nashville, Tennessee.
[00:15:31]  October 24th, Mobile, Alabama.
[00:15:33]  Stop sucking your brother's dick and suck Mark Gagnon's.
[00:15:36]  October 25th, New Orleans, Louisiana.
[00:15:39]  Hey, guys, I'm going to be honest.
[00:15:40]  I went there.
[00:15:41]  Fucking, it's one of my favorite cities in America.
[00:15:43]  The comedy market is dog shit.
[00:15:45]  Prove me wrong.
[00:15:45]  Go to Mark Gagnon's show.
[00:15:47]  Try to suck his dick.
[00:15:48]  November 16th, Hoboken, New Jersey.
[00:15:50]  I forgot November 9th, Denver, Colorado.
[00:15:51]  November 23rd, Philadelphia.
[00:15:53]  December 5th, Fort Wayne.
[00:15:55]  December 6th, Detroit.
[00:15:56]  Those tickets are available at markagnonlive.com.
[00:15:59]  Now, let's get back to the show.
[00:16:00]  Anybody else have any garbage grievances for me?
[00:16:04]  Oh, hmm.

=== Tour Dates and Mark Gagnon (14:45) ===

[00:16:06]  And if we don't have any, because I'm so awesome, we can worry about that later.
[00:16:10]  But I couldn't see that.
[00:16:12]  And listen, the seatback thing, a little rude.
[00:16:15]  All right.
[00:16:16]  And I'm a big dinner service guy on the plane or food service.
[00:16:18]  You can't do that.
[00:16:19]  The tray.
[00:16:19]  And I'm watching Catching the Can, like, regularly.
[00:16:21]  I think I might account for a dinner service.
[00:16:23]  And I think they would push you up if that happened.
[00:16:26]  Probably.
[00:16:27]  I would say not.
[00:16:28]  I don't give a shit.
[00:16:29]  Other than that, you'd try my dude.
[00:16:31]  He almost got like a proper fist fight with an old man once.
[00:16:34]  You did.
[00:16:35]  We were flying out to the West Coast, and this guy got in and went back.
[00:16:38]  And he just was like, nope.
[00:16:40]  Like, he just pulled out.
[00:16:41]  We were kind of drunk or whatever.
[00:16:42]  You know, we had a couple pops and I was like, oh, you fucked up, old man.
[00:16:45]  He was just like, well, because when they go back on him, it's like, yeah, that's the thing.
[00:16:51]  They might as well be sitting on the floor.
[00:16:52]  You know what I mean?
[00:16:53]  Yeah, that's what I mean.
[00:16:54]  I'm all fanny.
[00:16:55]  Yeah.
[00:16:56]  How's that not enough?
[00:16:57]  So we can move.
[00:16:58]  We fly well together.
[00:16:59]  It's typically like we sit next to each other.
[00:17:01]  No, we don't.
[00:17:01]  What do you mean?
[00:17:02]  We fly well together.
[00:17:03]  He ignores the shit out of me.
[00:17:06]  First of all, we travel.
[00:17:07]  It's like he wants to sit there and talk like we just met on the floor.
[00:17:09]  Coming back from the road.
[00:17:11]  We do four episodes a month.
[00:17:13]  Coming back from the road.
[00:17:16]  We're flying in a La Guardian like a Sunday or whatever.
[00:17:19]  Been on the road for a couple of days together, annoying the shit out of him.
[00:17:22]  I don't.
[00:17:22]  The headphones are on.
[00:17:23]  He wants nothing to do with it.
[00:17:24]  I'm still doing this.
[00:17:25]  I want to sit together.
[00:17:26]  Really?
[00:17:26]  I don't.
[00:17:27]  We had enough.
[00:17:28]  What is it?
[00:17:29]  Shut down time.
[00:17:29]  I need some little me time.
[00:17:30]  It'd be one thing if you're like, fuck in juicy.
[00:17:33]  Give me something I can sink my teeth into.
[00:17:35]  He'll be like, like, show me a meme or something.
[00:17:38]  I'm like, you ever do this with your girl?
[00:17:40]  You guys have separate seats?
[00:17:42]  And then she's like, so you're going to go talk to them?
[00:17:44]  And I go, for what?
[00:17:45]  We've stopped trying to switch.
[00:17:46]  Now we're like, 95% of the time are like, nah.
[00:17:48]  Wait, what do you mean?
[00:17:49]  You guys will fly with your legs separately?
[00:17:52]  Well, this is the same thing.
[00:17:53]  Sometimes they'll split our reservation or like for whatever reason, we're in different seats.
[00:17:57]  What?
[00:17:57]  Yeah.
[00:17:58]  Or like, I'll have a window, she'll have an aisle.
[00:18:00]  And then she goes, well, are you going to sit in the middle or am I going to sit in the middle?
[00:18:02]  Wait, hold on.
[00:18:03]  Okay.
[00:18:03]  Wait, hold on.
[00:18:04]  Oh, no.
[00:18:05]  I'm not going to put it together.
[00:18:06]  I leave my wife a fucking DSA precheck.
[00:18:08]  Fuck you.
[00:18:10]  Get out of here.
[00:18:11]  Exactly.
[00:18:12]  No, I didn't.
[00:18:12]  No, wasn't there a time you got upgraded and your wife didn't?
[00:18:16]  And you didn't give it to it?
[00:18:18]  Yeah, we switched.
[00:18:18]  We flip-flopped.
[00:18:20]  Oh, you did?
[00:18:20]  Really?
[00:18:21]  And you gave it to her?
[00:18:21]  We did half and half.
[00:18:22]  I've taken that.
[00:18:24]  I've taken a lot of time.
[00:18:24]  I don't think you're doing if I was sitting next to you.
[00:18:26]  I'm talking about mentality.
[00:18:29]  Sharing a first-class seat.
[00:18:31]  That's crazy, dude.
[00:18:32]  I'll wrap this up.
[00:18:37]  No, that was crazy.
[00:18:38]  We were flying back from Greece.
[00:18:39]  I got upgraded.
[00:18:40]  She didn't.
[00:18:40]  And so I was like, hey, you take it.
[00:18:41]  Sleep as long as you want.
[00:18:42]  Then whenever you're done, wake me up and then we'll do a little flip-flop.
[00:18:45]  That's not bad.
[00:18:45]  It's not bad.
[00:18:46]  And then she came back and I was chit-chatting with some lady and we ended up talking the whole flight.
[00:18:50]  And I was like, yeah, it's fine.
[00:18:51]  You stay up there.
[00:18:51]  Whoa.
[00:18:52]  And that was a real mind fuck because she came back.
[00:18:54]  She was like, what were you guys talking about?
[00:18:55]  Was she attractive?
[00:18:56]  The lady you were talking to?
[00:18:57]  She was like 50.
[00:18:58]  So yes.
[00:18:59]  Okay.
[00:18:59]  There we go.
[00:19:00]  Yeah, my type.
[00:19:02]  Wow.
[00:19:02]  That's dangerous.
[00:19:03]  Like, no, you can.
[00:19:05]  I'd rather talk to this woman.
[00:19:06]  Which I didn't even really clock in my mind.
[00:19:08]  I was like, no, she's telling me a crazy story, which was the most insane story.
[00:19:14]  Babe, you go up there.
[00:19:15]  I'll be back here.
[00:19:15]  She was pumping home, dude.
[00:19:17]  I was overserved.
[00:19:18]  I just was like, you know what?
[00:19:19]  I'm going to stay right here.
[00:19:20]  And it was great.
[00:19:21]  Wait, is that really?
[00:19:21]  She was getting you drinks?
[00:19:22]  Yeah, it was great.
[00:19:23]  Wait, hold on.
[00:19:24]  Is a 50-year-old kind of your type?
[00:19:29]  I mean, she wasn't terrible.
[00:19:31]  She wasn't terrible.
[00:19:32]  For 50, she was a solid 50.
[00:19:33]  All right.
[00:19:34]  I'm with you.
[00:19:35]  How do you guys get away?
[00:19:37]  I can't.
[00:19:38]  Me and my lady, if we fly for a vacation or go home or to see her family or something like that.
[00:19:42]  You guys aren't closing business deals or anything.
[00:19:45]  What else would you be flying for?
[00:19:47]  We only fly for vacation.
[00:19:50]  I don't know.
[00:19:51]  We're not into mergers and acquisitions.
[00:19:53]  This is a little slow right now.
[00:19:56]  Goddamn terrorists are killing us.
[00:19:57]  I thought there'd be no traffic.
[00:19:59]  Anyway, I can't get away with that.
[00:20:03]  That would never be allowed.
[00:20:04]  Sitting separately?
[00:20:06]  No, we sit together.
[00:20:08]  That's a whole snack.
[00:20:09]  We live together.
[00:20:10]  Who sits in the middle, though?
[00:20:12]  How long have y'all been together?
[00:20:14]  10 years.
[00:20:15]  Oh, my wife and I had 10 years too.
[00:20:17]  But still, we're like, meh.
[00:20:18]  The middle, if we're on it, we'll usually take the two on the left.
[00:20:22]  Wait, the little two-bangers.
[00:20:24]  Okay, but if you're three and three, someone's got to sit in the middle.
[00:20:27]  And then now you convince your girl.
[00:20:29]  Hey, we've rolled that dice.
[00:20:30]  I get the aisle or the window.
[00:20:32]  No, there's no three on that side, right?
[00:20:34]  It's going to be in the middle.
[00:20:36]  No, you can do three and three.
[00:20:37]  Okay.
[00:20:38]  Is there someone before I'm talking about?
[00:20:42]  If it's just us two in the row, my wife will give me the window, but then she might like lie on me as I'm sleeping or whatever.
[00:20:48]  And just because she's five, two or whatever.
[00:20:50]  She could lie across the three.
[00:20:51]  She's fine.
[00:20:51]  We'll roll the dice on the three and take the two.
[00:20:53]  She started taking the window, and I'm a little bit like, you don't make enough.
[00:20:56]  Here, that is a dirt thing.
[00:20:58]  You don't make enough.
[00:20:59]  Go to the middle.
[00:21:00]  You'll throw it.
[00:21:01]  Lay on my shoulder.
[00:21:01]  I'm here.
[00:21:02]  Dude, I have such a hard time sleeping, and I'm like a very move around a lot.
[00:21:06]  I hate planes.
[00:21:07]  I'm very like restless.
[00:21:08]  So, and plane is the most miserable thing for me.
[00:21:10]  That's why I'll put my seat back just praying I can sleep for like a half hour.
[00:21:14]  They really screw you in that window seat with your leanage towards the window.
[00:21:17]  Get rid of that guy.
[00:21:18]  That's a fucking bar.
[00:21:19]  Yeah, put something there, some padding, some wrestling matters.
[00:21:22]  I try to put the pillow and that thing didn't.
[00:21:24]  Yeah, and that falls down, and you got to go back and get it.
[00:21:27]  Oh, buddy, it's a nightmare.
[00:21:29]  How are you getting it?
[00:21:30]  He doesn't.
[00:21:31]  And sometimes he's dropped his phone before takeoff and just goes, fuck.
[00:21:35]  And I'm like, that thing's going to be there until we get to Des Moines for sure.
[00:21:40]  Oh, baby, give it like five minutes and do this.
[00:21:43]  And he'll look at me to be like, I'm sorry, I kicked the water.
[00:21:47]  I'll start doing that thing.
[00:21:48]  And yeah, I'll just give him a come on.
[00:21:50]  It works at one time.
[00:21:51]  I'm like, no, dude.
[00:21:52]  When one iPod falls, that thing goes everywhere.
[00:21:54]  You have no idea where it is.
[00:21:56]  That sucks.
[00:21:56]  Oh, one AirPod.
[00:21:58]  Oh, one AirPod is the fucking nightmare.
[00:22:00]  I'm sitting there listening to music with one in like a dickhead.
[00:22:02]  Fuck that.
[00:22:03]  I can't get that and get it.
[00:22:04]  I do that in Ubers.
[00:22:05]  I got to open the door.
[00:22:07]  Open the door.
[00:22:10]  Trying to open the door on the LIN.
[00:22:12]  Get on the show.
[00:22:13]  I'm going to drop my phone.
[00:22:14]  This song's stereo.
[00:22:15]  I need this.
[00:22:16]  Yeah.
[00:22:16]  Are you still living in New York?
[00:22:18]  Yeah.
[00:22:18]  What part?
[00:22:19]  Where the hell do you think I am?
[00:22:20]  Well, he's in PA.
[00:22:21]  Well, sure.
[00:22:23]  It's a summer house.
[00:22:24]  It's my summer home.
[00:22:25]  Yeah, I'm locked in, baby.
[00:22:27]  Queens represents something.
[00:22:28]  Yeah.
[00:22:29]  Oh, dude, even with all the money, you haven't come to Manhattan.
[00:22:31]  What's wrong with Queens?
[00:22:32]  Queens is a shit.
[00:22:33]  It's nice.
[00:22:33]  You got a nice place.
[00:22:34]  It's just out there.
[00:22:35]  Right?
[00:22:36]  Why are you looking at me?
[00:22:37]  I told you to move years ago.
[00:22:38]  Because I'm big with money.
[00:22:40]  That's why.
[00:22:41]  Horrible.
[00:22:41]  He's jammed up.
[00:22:42]  Hey, so jammed up.
[00:22:45]  He jammed up with money?
[00:22:47]  This is an intervention.
[00:22:48]  What's going on?
[00:22:49]  I did come here for a small bridge loan, if that's all right.
[00:22:51]  You guys got it?
[00:22:52]  What's my appearance being?
[00:22:56]  I'm using some of this black rifle money I see floating around here.
[00:23:01]  And whatever the mid-rolls are this week, I want to wet my beef.
[00:23:05]  I know how the industry works.
[00:23:07]  Yeah.
[00:23:08]  Hey, the play, dude.
[00:23:10]  You got mid-roll?
[00:23:10]  Is this monetized on YouTube?
[00:23:12]  Big man wants his cut.
[00:23:14]  Quick question.
[00:23:14]  Those are your real teeth.
[00:23:16]  Yeah.
[00:23:19]  See, they got cash over here.
[00:23:22]  Joke said he would buy them teeth.
[00:23:24]  I'm still waiting on that, which he still brings up every couple weeks.
[00:23:30]  I'm doing serious acting work now, so you ain't gonna look cool.
[00:23:34]  You and veneers would be fucking off.
[00:23:36]  Bad, like Busey's big and white.
[00:23:39]  Look like a horse, dude.
[00:23:44]  I honestly don't know.
[00:23:45]  The thing is, the place that we got now, it still is a little undervalued.
[00:23:49]  It's down on Vernon Boulevard, so it looks over the river towards Manhattan.
[00:23:54]  The building's great.
[00:23:55]  We have this sick upstairs area that there's no way anywhere else we're going to find.
[00:24:00]  I'm seeing all the time.
[00:24:02]  Really?
[00:24:02]  I'm loving up there.
[00:24:03]  It's not about jumping every day.
[00:24:06]  Sometimes I do.
[00:24:08]  But there's cold.
[00:24:11]  I haven't committed to taking out.
[00:24:14]  No, I'm up there all the time.
[00:24:15]  I see.
[00:24:15]  It's actually my one little sanctuary.
[00:24:17]  Everybody I know with an upstairs or like a patio.
[00:24:20]  True.
[00:24:21]  And you guys know rich people.
[00:24:23]  We do have a grill that we bought.
[00:24:25]  That's why he goes up there.
[00:24:26]  At the beginning of this.
[00:24:28]  I got a guy up there.
[00:24:29]  Dogs 24/7.
[00:24:32]  So hey.
[00:24:34]  We bought a grill in the beginning of the summer.
[00:24:37]  Yeah, that'd be great.
[00:24:37]  Because their family was coming.
[00:24:38]  They wanted to cook out up there.
[00:24:40]  Yeah, but there's that.
[00:24:41]  Fucking haven't touched it once.
[00:24:42]  Yeah, and it's pretty summer too.
[00:24:43]  I wish you did.
[00:24:44]  It's too cold to use it nine months out of the year.
[00:24:46]  I got a good garbage thing about grills.
[00:24:49]  Is it garbage to have someone else come over and cook meats and steaks on your grill?
[00:24:54]  In what capacity?
[00:24:55]  Like if you're at some cuck-ass shit, right?
[00:24:57]  Yeah, what do you mean?
[00:24:58]  That's wild.
[00:24:58]  You got to eat it.
[00:24:59]  We're not good.
[00:25:00]  Which one else do you think that is?
[00:25:01]  I'm going to say, let's back to say.
[00:25:04]  You think that is not me?
[00:25:05]  Is this a friend's party?
[00:25:06]  Or is this a guy you hired to come and buy a fish?
[00:25:08]  No, this is not Conch's party.
[00:25:09]  I don't know if you're picking up.
[00:25:11]  I'll keep talking your name.
[00:25:12]  Sorry.
[00:25:12]  No, it's all good, dude.
[00:25:13]  It's a touchy podcast.
[00:25:14]  We're a lot of touch for people.
[00:25:15]  You were very touchy.
[00:25:16]  At a party.
[00:25:17]  Yeah.
[00:25:18]  Is this somebody you didn't know?
[00:25:19]  Did you hire him?
[00:25:20]  You guys all assume this is me.
[00:25:21]  It's actually not me.
[00:25:22]  It's not him.
[00:25:23]  There's a party, and then you have a guy that you bought some steaks from, and then over time.
[00:25:28]  There's a guy you bought some steaks from?
[00:25:30]  Yeah, over time.
[00:25:30]  He's like a guy who works in the industry.
[00:25:32]  And then at your sleep, what the hell's going on?
[00:25:35]  He's in the steak industry.
[00:25:36]  He's a beef guy.
[00:25:37]  He's a story guy.
[00:25:38]  He's got beef guys over there.
[00:25:41]  I get that.
[00:25:42]  Yeah, he plays.
[00:25:44]  What do you think about your guy?
[00:25:45]  Does he have a store?
[00:25:46]  I don't even know what he does, honestly.
[00:25:48]  He just works in the meats.
[00:25:49]  He comes over to the party, and I notice that the person grilling and doing all the work on the grill is not the person whose home it is.
[00:25:56]  Or grill is.
[00:25:58]  And it was not the guy who brought the meats.
[00:25:59]  It was a third-party guy.
[00:26:02]  No, no, it was the guy who brought the meats.
[00:26:03]  It was the guy who brought that he wasn't hired to.
[00:26:06]  So he's the meat.
[00:26:07]  He knows his way.
[00:26:08]  He knows his way around meat more than anybody else out there.
[00:26:10]  He wasn't hired to cook for the party, like a caterer.
[00:26:12]  If I know.
[00:26:12]  Yeah, they're saying he's not.
[00:26:14]  This is Mark Gagnon.
[00:26:15]  Yeah, Mark Gagnon did this at his own house.
[00:26:17]  Look, you were awfully quiet.
[00:26:20]  I just didn't want to lead the witness.
[00:26:21]  I just was going to let all the chips fall.
[00:26:23]  But you bought the meat from him.
[00:26:24]  Yeah, exactly.
[00:26:26]  Was he dropping it off?
[00:26:27]  No, he's a homie of mine.
[00:26:28]  We had a bunch of people over for Labor Day, and he was like, dude, he says all of his friends do shit for him and then it doesn't really do much for them.
[00:26:35]  But they are all in love with him.
[00:26:36]  He's the homie.
[00:26:37]  And I was like, you're way better at grilling than I am.
[00:26:39]  So if you're going to come over anyway, do you mind grilling?
[00:26:41]  He's like, no, I love grilling.
[00:26:42]  This is my love language.
[00:26:43]  The way I communicate my affection for people is when I cook it.
[00:26:46]  Shut the fuck up here.
[00:26:47]  You can tell him to shut up because that's what he said.
[00:26:48]  I would never say that.
[00:26:49]  So he says that.
[00:26:50]  And then I was like, all right, great.
[00:26:52]  I'll just host and get everyone drinks and make sure everyone's having the best time possible.
[00:26:55]  Everyone's getting blow.
[00:26:56]  And then you guys just cook meats.
[00:26:57]  And that's what it was.
[00:26:58]  Yeah, that's it.
[00:26:58]  All right, Richard.
[00:27:01]  Did you throw him any money or anything at the end?
[00:27:03]  No, at all.
[00:27:03]  I mean, I paid, obviously, for the meats.
[00:27:05]  Oh, wow.
[00:27:06]  How much is that three cent?
[00:27:10]  Dude, I wish.
[00:27:11]  I wish.
[00:27:12]  That's cooky.
[00:27:13]  That is.
[00:27:14]  I mean, like, I wouldn't allow that.
[00:27:16]  Hey, I'm into it.
[00:27:17]  I'm just saying.
[00:27:18]  It's tough.
[00:27:20]  Are you a griller?
[00:27:20]  You're a good griller.
[00:27:21]  No.
[00:27:21]  But still, you got to go down.
[00:27:23]  If it's your house, you got to go down with the ship.
[00:27:24]  It's like, hey, either everybody's getting feed or crazy, but this fucking stud ain't coming in here and grilling my fucking two people.
[00:27:31]  What the fuck?
[00:27:32]  It was great.
[00:27:32]  He was grilling.
[00:27:33]  I was upstairs with the baby.
[00:27:34]  I was hanging out.
[00:27:35]  He didn't get it.
[00:27:36]  Yeah.
[00:27:37]  I mean, the only reason I'd bend the knee is because he's vaguely in the meat world.
[00:27:42]  I still know the distributor that supplies meats for all the premier restaurants in New York City.
[00:27:45]  Okay, but he's not like cutting the meat.
[00:27:47]  He's just some businessman.
[00:27:49]  Yeah, he's like a salesman.
[00:27:50]  Yeah, but he's different then.
[00:27:52]  I thought he was like talking about it.
[00:27:54]  He's like, hey, I came with these and they're wrapped in like the brown paper.
[00:27:57]  And he knows his way around white.
[00:27:58]  He's got you a sales rep from A5 from the Izakaya Prefect.
[00:28:02]  Like, I'm not going to fuck that up.
[00:28:04]  What does that mean?
[00:28:04]  What the fuck does that even mean?
[00:28:05]  What does he know more about it than you?
[00:28:06]  He's a goddamn sales rep. You guys wouldn't understand.
[00:28:09]  I'm telling you.
[00:28:10]  It's nice.
[00:28:11]  I guess I wouldn't want to fuck that up.
[00:28:13]  Exactly.
[00:28:13]  These are $150 a steak.
[00:28:15]  You know what I mean?
[00:28:16]  I get them for $60.
[00:28:17]  I'll get you a deal.
[00:28:17]  That's not bad.
[00:28:18]  Now I'm listening.
[00:28:18]  Exactly.
[00:28:19]  That's not a steak.
[00:28:22]  How are you going to fuck it up?
[00:28:24]  Fucking fuck steak.
[00:28:25]  Come on.
[00:28:26]  That's true.
[00:28:26]  I did put on a couple of fillets upstairs and I torched them.
[00:28:29]  They're still up there?
[00:28:31]  I gotta go.
[00:28:32]  I don't know, man.
[00:28:33]  That's you have somebody come in and cater it.
[00:28:37]  So you want to learn how to do the grill?
[00:28:39]  Yeah.
[00:28:39]  But I mean, he taught me a little bit and I kind of got.
[00:28:41]  Oh, he's teaching you?
[00:28:42]  That's worse.
[00:28:43]  That's okay.
[00:28:44]  He's got his arms standing there.
[00:28:46]  He's got his arms behind him.
[00:28:47]  He's on YouTube.
[00:28:48]  Yeah, YouTube, dude.
[00:28:49]  YouTube.
[00:28:50]  I love to learn.
[00:28:51]  I've manned a grill in my life.
[00:28:52]  Have you not?
[00:28:53]  I've manned a grill.
[00:28:54]  A little.
[00:28:54]  Burger.
[00:28:55]  I keep saying sounds more home.
[00:28:57]  It's really.
[00:28:57]  I love to learn.
[00:28:58]  It's really.
[00:28:59]  I love to learn.
[00:29:00]  That's his love language.
[00:29:01]  That's fucking my wife.
[00:29:02]  It's crazy.
[00:29:04]  That's his love language.
[00:29:05]  Holy shit.
[00:29:07]  You only flip once.
[00:29:08]  That's the thing.
[00:29:09]  No, I don't know if that's true.
[00:29:10]  I feel like more flips keeps it more moist.
[00:29:13]  This is terrible.
[00:29:13]  No, you lose all the jobs.
[00:29:16]  Imagine you had to get together.
[00:29:17]  Same scenario, but this is in the kitchen and your wife's friend is cooking all the food in the kitchen.
[00:29:23]  And the girl isn't doing anything.
[00:29:24]  Wouldn't that be a little weird?
[00:29:26]  Would you be attracted to that girl?
[00:29:27]  Like, maybe I should fuck that girl.
[00:29:29]  No, I got a picture of her in my mind.
[00:29:32]  This never even happened, but I'm picturing her.
[00:29:34]  Right?
[00:29:35]  That's why famous guys, when they fuck the nanny, it's like, what do you think was going to happen?
[00:29:39]  This hot nanny is raising my children, giving them all this love and affection, and she's hot.
[00:29:45]  I'm going to fuck that girl.
[00:29:46]  But in this case, who's the one who's going to be a little bit 25-year-old body?
[00:29:52]  That's a virtue.
[00:29:54]  But it's both.
[00:29:56]  It wouldn't happen if she was Mrs. Doubtfire.
[00:29:58]  But if she's attractive and I see her, she's got stronger.
[00:30:02]  How does that attraction not happen?
[00:30:03]  Yeah, but in that case, my wife is taking care of the kid.
[00:30:06]  We're upstairs with all the, you know, all of our friends.
[00:30:08]  We're doing our doubles act.
[00:30:09]  You know, you're okay with it.
[00:30:11]  You're upstairs with me.
[00:30:12]  You think your wife is okay with this?
[00:30:13]  Hold on, this wasn't even an outside party where everybody was hanging out and the guy was growing like in the party.
[00:30:18]  Yeah, it was two.
[00:30:19]  There's two levels, but it's an outside thing.
[00:30:21]  So he was on one side, we're on the other side.
[00:30:23]  Was he down there by himself?
[00:30:24]  Yeah, and his friend.
[00:30:26]  Oh, wow.
[00:30:26]  That makes it even worse.
[00:30:28]  What?
[00:30:28]  So he's not even talking with everybody.
[00:30:31]  He's isolated.
[00:30:32]  He's working out.
[00:30:32]  Yeah, he's working.
[00:30:33]  Yeah, you've made him a noise.
[00:30:35]  And you're not.
[00:30:36]  This is how he expresses love.
[00:30:37]  He likes to make food for people.
[00:30:39]  You can take it over.
[00:30:39]  He's got a freeze.
[00:30:40]  You can take it over with him.
[00:30:41]  He's creeping me out.
[00:30:42]  Every time I put his beat in my mouth, I'm just like, wow, he loves me.
[00:30:45]  That's all I'm thinking.
[00:30:46]  He's five, eight, five and a half.
[00:30:48]  Yeah, exactly.
[00:30:50]  That's great.

=== Kennedy Effect Hand Motion (08:53) ===

[00:30:52]  I mean, how about this?
[00:30:53]  Tell me if this is trash.
[00:30:54]  Someone that listens to the show sends one of us a thousand Hawaiian t-shirts.
[00:30:59]  A thousand?
[00:31:00]  Roughly a thousand.
[00:31:01]  Okay.
[00:31:01]  And then instead of buying shirts for an entire year, you only wear the Hawaiian t-shirts that are free and you wear them every single week.
[00:31:08]  And you just look like a dental hygienist on every pocket.
[00:31:10]  Is there something on them?
[00:31:11]  Oh, yeah.
[00:31:12]  There's something on every single pattern.
[00:31:14]  Moral patterns.
[00:31:15]  Some of them have hot dogs on them.
[00:31:16]  Some of them.
[00:31:16]  They have fish and birds.
[00:31:17]  They're all t-shirts.
[00:31:18]  There's a Christmas one with a candy cane.
[00:31:20]  They're all t-shirts.
[00:31:21]  And they're all different.
[00:31:22]  They're all new.
[00:31:23]  There's a 4th of July one.
[00:31:25]  There's a bottle.
[00:31:25]  Are they used t-shirts?
[00:31:27]  No, they're brand new.
[00:31:28]  Oh, fuck it.
[00:31:29]  Yeah, we're not.
[00:31:29]  Which cool stuff?
[00:31:30]  That's not classy.
[00:31:32]  The Kennedys aren't doing that, I don't think.
[00:31:35]  There's nothing wrong with that, though.
[00:31:37]  There's nothing right with it.
[00:31:38]  A free Hawaiian shirt, and that's all you wear for a year.
[00:31:40]  Yeah, it's weird.
[00:31:41]  I wouldn't do it.
[00:31:42]  It's strange.
[00:31:42]  Yeah, it's very strange.
[00:31:43]  Who's this?
[00:31:44]  I feel like this is like this weird.
[00:31:45]  Who's this?
[00:31:46]  It's like a whack-a-mole.
[00:31:48]  And now I can picture them.
[00:31:49]  Yeah.
[00:31:51]  I want to come on your podcast.
[00:31:52]  Yeah, I know.
[00:31:53]  Now I know them.
[00:31:54]  You know, he didn't buy those.
[00:31:55]  They were given to him.
[00:31:56]  Yeah.
[00:31:56]  Why would I not wear them?
[00:31:58]  Because I'm with you, Larry.
[00:32:01]  Yeah, but we're in Miami for three months.
[00:32:03]  But then we moved back to New York and you lived with Jimmy Buffett.
[00:32:05]  I still wore it in the summer.
[00:32:07]  Bring the style back.
[00:32:08]  It was summer, man.
[00:32:09]  Look at that.
[00:32:10]  That's on a t-shirt.
[00:32:10]  That's an AI.
[00:32:11]  That's also not ours.
[00:32:12]  That's what I say, dude.
[00:32:14]  You got to get your thyroid checkers.
[00:32:15]  I mean, your eyes are fucked up there.
[00:32:17]  Oh, bring that back up.
[00:32:18]  Somebody who's got bad eyes.
[00:32:19]  That's the lie.
[00:32:20]  Someone is selling tickets on your behalf using AI.
[00:32:23]  Yo, that's crazy.
[00:32:25]  I mean, what?
[00:32:26]  That looks like evil aux, dude.
[00:32:28]  I mean, honestly, if you buy these tickets, you deserve to have your money stolen.
[00:32:31]  If you think that's me, you're not a fan.
[00:32:33]  That's not that far off of you.
[00:32:35]  It's not the shirt right at least.
[00:32:38]  It's kind of fire, though, that I didn't know I was at that point where they were making fake.
[00:32:44]  Tickets all fake.
[00:32:45]  Are you not there?
[00:32:46]  I'm there, but it's a second, it's like a third-party site.
[00:32:48]  Nice.
[00:32:49]  Don't buy from third-party sites.
[00:32:50]  You never buy from third-party shirts.
[00:32:51]  Go to my website.
[00:32:52]  But that's cool.
[00:32:53]  That's a nice little thing.
[00:32:54]  It is.
[00:32:55]  You're doing it.
[00:32:55]  Yeah.
[00:32:57]  It's funny that AI, you type in Akash Sang on stage, and they're like, Hawaiian instead of Hawaiian.
[00:33:02]  Damn, AI is good.
[00:33:04]  Can I see one of them, though?
[00:33:06]  Is it an actual t-shirt?
[00:33:07]  That was an actual shirt.
[00:33:08]  The shirt was right.
[00:33:09]  It was Bob Ross painting on one of his things.
[00:33:11]  That's nice.
[00:33:12]  I'm sorry.
[00:33:13]  The Hawaiian shirt.
[00:33:15]  I thought you said Hawaiian t-shirt.
[00:33:16]  That's a fair delineation.
[00:33:17]  It was a Hawaiian shirt, button-down, collar.
[00:33:20]  I mean, short slide.
[00:33:20]  I'm a Hawaiian.
[00:33:21]  He's a big Hawaiian guy.
[00:33:22]  Rocket, baby.
[00:33:23]  I can do it.
[00:33:23]  We're doing it.
[00:33:25]  Both of us.
[00:33:27]  A couple fat ladies hanging out together.
[00:33:29]  Hawaiian shirts.
[00:33:30]  Letting them breathe.
[00:33:32]  Oh, yo, you guys are Philly people, right?
[00:33:33]  Can we ask you about it?
[00:33:34]  Did you guys see what happened at this Phillies game?
[00:33:35]  Do y'all know?
[00:33:36]  I don't know.
[00:33:37]  And that's sort of the ball.
[00:33:39]  Yeah, I have a, I'm torn on all sides.
[00:33:43]  No one really looks good.
[00:33:44]  I haven't seen this, but everybody is a talk of Twitter.
[00:33:48]  Let's see.
[00:33:49]  All right.
[00:33:49]  Let's watch this clip.
[00:33:52]  First off, dinger.
[00:33:53]  It's a big blast by the Phils, though.
[00:33:55]  Goose Yard.
[00:33:56]  What are you doing?
[00:33:56]  All right.
[00:33:58]  Lil' Dinger.
[00:33:59]  Dad gets it.
[00:34:00]  Nice.
[00:34:01]  Gives it to the son.
[00:34:02]  Gives it right to his kid.
[00:34:03]  Congratulations.
[00:34:03]  Right.
[00:34:03]  It's his birthday, I believe, or around his birthday.
[00:34:06]  Oh, dude, that hand motion is.
[00:34:11]  He's from Jersey.
[00:34:12]  He ain't from Philly.
[00:34:14]  No dude from the Northeast gets touched up and does this.
[00:34:18]  Why?
[00:34:23]  Yeah, he gives it back to her.
[00:34:25]  What's the gentleman thing to do?
[00:34:26]  I don't know.
[00:34:27]  Now, fuck this lady.
[00:34:28]  He's already proven that.
[00:34:29]  Who's she giving the ball to?
[00:34:30]  She keeps it.
[00:34:31]  For herself?
[00:34:32]  Yeah.
[00:34:33]  What a bitch, dude.
[00:34:34]  Sure.
[00:34:35]  Yeah, no, that's crazy.
[00:34:36]  That sucks.
[00:34:37]  Because I think it hit her hand on the fly and then you can't catch bitches.
[00:34:41]  If it's off the ground, it's off the ground.
[00:34:43]  Especially if it goes to a kid.
[00:34:44]  It's got to end with a kid.
[00:34:46]  Yes.
[00:34:46]  And it doesn't matter who then gets it.
[00:34:48]  If as long as a kid.
[00:34:49]  You can't catch.
[00:34:50]  Yeah.
[00:34:51]  That's what you bring up.
[00:34:51]  She knows.
[00:34:52]  She doesn't have it at all.
[00:34:53]  Yeah.
[00:34:54]  It's in the row in front of her.
[00:34:55]  Yeah, it hits the seat.
[00:34:56]  I don't even know if she gets a hand on it.
[00:34:58]  Another angle with it.
[00:35:00]  Oh, man.
[00:35:00]  That look don't help her anyway.
[00:35:01]  That looks like every one of my aunts.
[00:35:03]  That is a wait.
[00:35:06]  Every time they're like, Philly Karen goes nuts.
[00:35:08]  I'm like, motherfucker.
[00:35:09]  She's better than you.
[00:35:10]  And I see the haircut.
[00:35:11]  I'm like, let me get eyes on a face.
[00:35:14]  I want to talk to a manager fucking haircut.
[00:35:17]  That's crazy.
[00:35:18]  She's at the macaroni grill screaming.
[00:35:19]  Oh, God.
[00:35:20]  Buddy, that's crazy.
[00:35:23]  That was yours.
[00:35:27]  Who the fuck would athlete this in front of a child?
[00:35:33]  What a fucking bitch.
[00:35:38]  Then she, so there's another angle.
[00:35:40]  I was studying this like the fucking Kennedy effect.
[00:35:42]  This is the Bruder films of the family.
[00:35:43]  Yeah, these are the Bruder films.
[00:35:45]  There's another angle where she's then, another guy is like, really?
[00:35:49]  Like, after she gets the ball, she goes back to where she was sitting.
[00:35:51]  Yeah.
[00:35:52]  She gets into it again with another person over this one.
[00:35:55]  I was like, are you fucking serious?
[00:35:56]  She wants that baseball.
[00:35:57]  And then she starts screaming at a guy like a few rows over who's like wasn't passing.
[00:36:01]  Has people always been like this or has it gotten worse?
[00:36:04]  No, it has gotten worse.
[00:36:05]  And this just shows you how worse we're getting that this is not.
[00:36:10]  Holy fucking problem.
[00:36:15]  Yo, that's it.
[00:36:16]  That's so funny.
[00:36:19]  That's bro.
[00:36:20]  Oh, man.
[00:36:21]  These kids with the Jet TPT.
[00:36:22]  All right.
[00:36:24]  That's all right right there.
[00:36:25]  I can't do that.
[00:36:28]  Good Seats.
[00:36:29]  Look at it.
[00:36:31]  If it was me, I'd be a lot faded.
[00:36:34]  No, listen.
[00:36:35]  It's getting worse.
[00:36:36]  That's where we're at now, where adults are arguing and fighting like children over a fucking baseball.
[00:36:41]  There's men and women taking baseballs away from little kids.
[00:36:44]  That's who's it for, you fucking losers.
[00:36:47]  You don't need a fucking baseball.
[00:36:48]  All right, from the home run, whatever.
[00:36:50]  Knock it the fuck off.
[00:36:51]  That's for kids.
[00:36:52]  Every one of those baseballs should be handed to a child if you catch it.
[00:36:56]  You don't fucking keep it.
[00:36:57]  Look at her, though.
[00:36:57]  She is Philly crap.
[00:36:59]  Like that Polish guy that yanked the hat into the fucking, the kid's hand.
[00:37:02]  That was crazy.
[00:37:02]  We gotta go back on that.
[00:37:04]  I kind of, did you see his apology?
[00:37:05]  I don't like the explanation.
[00:37:06]  He doubles down.
[00:37:07]  He's trying to throw a businessman.
[00:37:08]  No, he doubles down.
[00:37:09]  It's like, fucking, it's a doggy dog world out there.
[00:37:13]  That's real Eastern European shit.
[00:37:15]  Like, you think this is going to bother me?
[00:37:16]  I mean, a tennis player handed it to the little kid.
[00:37:19]  That's a fucking loser move, man.
[00:37:21]  I'm not saying, no, it's a loser move, but it's also a good life lesson.
[00:37:24]  Yeah, double down to get sick, buddy.
[00:37:25]  It's life ain't fair.
[00:37:26]  You know what?
[00:37:27]  This kind of flipped me.
[00:37:28]  That is a good life lesson.
[00:37:29]  That's crazy.
[00:37:30]  That's crazy.
[00:37:31]  The double down is crazy.
[00:37:32]  I feel like in 30 years, that kid's holding the sword to that guy's throat, taking the hat out of his hand.
[00:37:36]  Hey, you should have killed me when you had your chance.
[00:37:39]  That means he learned the lesson.
[00:37:39]  Yes, he learned the lesson.
[00:37:40]  I agree.
[00:37:41]  He got it.
[00:37:41]  Hey, hey, hey, if you grow up and kill that guy, this is his dad.
[00:37:44]  That's the inner moment.
[00:37:45]  That's the world.
[00:37:46]  Indiana Jones.
[00:37:47]  Indiana Jones last crusade.
[00:37:48]  That's how it started.
[00:37:48]  He's Arya.
[00:37:49]  You lost today, kid, but you don't have to like it.
[00:37:52]  How do we feel about the doxing, though?
[00:37:54]  Like, when that's what I, yeah, that's, but hold on.
[00:37:56]  The recent incident at the tennis match has caused a disproportionate online uproar.
[00:38:00]  I did it quickly because I've always said again, that's whack, too.
[00:38:04]  Life is first come, first serve.
[00:38:07]  You weren't first.
[00:38:08]  You weren't first to get there.
[00:38:10]  You were not, you just stole it.
[00:38:11]  That's not first come, first serve.
[00:38:13]  In the end, chin up, hats off, less venom, more sportsmanship.
[00:38:18]  This is a fucking guy who just stole something from a child.
[00:38:20]  He's like, hey, you know, Botif tried very hard.
[00:38:24]  That's great.
[00:38:26]  I'm back hating him.
[00:38:27]  I'm back hating him.
[00:38:28]  I thought it was.
[00:38:29]  This guy is just so beanish.
[00:38:31]  Shut up.
[00:38:31]  What the fuck?
[00:38:32]  That's awesome.
[00:38:33]  Stop being a little bitch.
[00:38:34]  Get back out there.
[00:38:35]  Hey, don't hit the player.
[00:38:36]  Hit the game.
[00:38:36]  Talk to you later.
[00:38:37]  Bye.
[00:38:39]  Yeah, as a general rule, you shouldn't dox anybody, but I'm not mad at it.
[00:38:43]  Just ignore it.
[00:38:44]  I mean, nobody.
[00:38:46]  My wife is just elbowing me in the head.
[00:38:47]  Like, get that back to the kid.
[00:38:49]  Everyone's just in this fucking dream state.
[00:38:51]  There is something that's like, right, that's like a grown man, right?
[00:38:55]  He looks pretty tough, dude.
[00:38:56]  Like, and like, he's like.
[00:38:58]  Polish guy.
[00:38:58]  He goes back to being a child of wanting a hat.
[00:39:01]  Like, that is how embarrassed.
[00:39:02]  Like, I love the Eagles.
[00:39:03]  I love, but like, I don't even know who the fuck that tennis player is.
[00:39:06]  That would never be fighting for like a fucking wristband from somebody.
[00:39:10]  Like, that I could never put myself.
[00:39:12]  Agassiz Sampers, the Jokers, could be somebody.
[00:39:15]  Who the fuck's this guy?
[00:39:16]  That's true.
[00:39:16]  Who is that guy?
[00:39:17]  I'm sure he's famous.
[00:39:18]  I don't know.
[00:39:18]  Tennis.
[00:39:19]  I don't even know.
[00:39:19]  Do you know who the player was?
[00:39:20]  No, I don't know.
[00:39:21]  I was at the U.S. Open quite a few times this year.
[00:39:23]  Yeah, I saw that.
[00:39:23]  You really fucking, you really lived a life out there, Al.
[00:39:26]  I like tennis.
[00:39:27]  So he's really leaned into tennis.
[00:39:29]  You know?
[00:39:29]  I don't know when it happened.
[00:39:31]  I tried to get him in the middle.
[00:39:31]  Tennis is cool.
[00:39:32]  I tried to get him.
[00:39:33]  Tennison 12 years ago, and he literally laughed at me.
[00:39:35]  He laughed in my face.
[00:39:36]  And I was like, it's the best time to watch any sport, this tennis moment right now.
[00:39:40]  Because this is laughing.
[00:39:41]  It's a real pussy sport until you started playing, and then it's the best sport in the world.
[00:39:44]  Yeah, no, Tennessee is great.

=== Weight Loss and Tennis Life (02:48) ===

[00:39:45]  Does this change anything at all?
[00:39:46]  It's a Polish tennis player.
[00:39:49]  Yeah, so they're both Polish.
[00:39:51]  Who cares?
[00:39:51]  Yeah.
[00:39:52]  Is the guy actually seven years old?
[00:39:54]  That's all they're mad at.
[00:39:56]  And you're the CEO.
[00:39:58]  Buy a fucking hat.
[00:39:59]  Why don't you hire that guy to come and fucking cook your steaks at your fucking next part?
[00:40:05]  That guy doesn't think so.
[00:40:07]  I've got shot there long.
[00:40:10]  He got young boy energy right there.
[00:40:12]  The young boy with the baseball, the team gave him a bag.
[00:40:18]  It kind of works out.
[00:40:20]  Whenever these moments are captured, it's kind of best case scenario for the kids.
[00:40:23]  Which is why I don't think the dad's the stadium did it, which is a pro.
[00:40:29]  All right, guys, we're going to take a break real quick so we can talk about BILT.
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[00:42:00]  Now let's get back to the show.
[00:42:01]  All right, guys, we're going to take a break real quick so I can talk to you about soda.
[00:42:04]  I actually know that this works because my brother did it and lost triple digit weight.
[00:42:09]  If you want to lose weight quickly, not too quickly, but quickly, you need to check out Soda Weight Loss.
[00:42:14]  SOTA stands for state of the art.
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[00:42:21]  They have weight loss nutritionists that treat clients nationwide and internationally.
[00:42:26]  And the soda weight loss promise, who every new client is, you will look and feel 10 years younger.
[00:42:31]  My brother has lost, he lost like 100 pounds.

=== SOTA Weight Loss Promise (12:26) ===

[00:42:34]  I'm not even bullshitting.
[00:42:35]  Soda's weight loss nutritionists support you and coach you every step of the way.
[00:42:38]  They have an easy and convenient diet plan.
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[00:42:45]  Go to S-O-T-Aweightloss.com and use a promo code Flagrant to save big guys.
[00:42:52]  Do this.
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[00:42:58]  I know multiple people who have lost tons of weight and kept it off with this program.
[00:43:03]  Let's get back to the show.
[00:43:06]  They do a press conference like when they get home.
[00:43:09]  It looks real fucking like Al-Qaeda beheading video.
[00:43:11]  It's like really bad.
[00:43:13]  The family, the dad, the mom, or the, you know, and the son.
[00:43:17]  And I think he says, like, I didn't, I'm upset that my dad gave that back.
[00:43:22]  It's like, you look like the biggest pussy.
[00:43:24]  I get that it's like a life lesson of like, hey, take the high road.
[00:43:27]  Yes, take the high road.
[00:43:28]  Like, you know, that person's clearly fucking mentally unstable.
[00:43:31]  And he's like, the clip I saw, yeah, this, which, like, buddy, get one of the flagrant producers and fucking bring this thing up.
[00:43:38]  You guys got enough fucking people working here.
[00:43:40]  Someone go help the kid out.
[00:43:42]  And apparently, his statement was like, I wish my dad kept it.
[00:43:45]  That kid is Philly through and through.
[00:43:48]  That kid is Philly.
[00:43:49]  Yeah.
[00:43:50]  There it is.
[00:43:51]  What would it take for your family to get on the fucking news like that?
[00:43:54]  We, dude, you would have to be missing.
[00:43:56]  I remember the one time my uncle pulled out a video camera at a family party in like the early 90s, dude.
[00:44:01]  My family turned into the Columbus.
[00:44:03]  I was like, get the fuck out.
[00:44:04]  Fucking tape in us, Rex.
[00:44:07]  Yeah, no, we're not on camera of people.
[00:44:09]  But this is the same thing.
[00:44:09]  They all think I'm gay because I podcast.
[00:44:13]  Because I podcast and drink Starbucks.
[00:44:14]  Like, you know where he gets his coffee to?
[00:44:17]  We're a Dunkin' or Walla family.
[00:44:20]  This is just another symptom of why adults are stealing baseballs and hats from each other.
[00:44:24]  It's just, it just keeps going.
[00:44:25]  You want attention.
[00:44:25]  Yeah.
[00:44:26]  What the fuck, man?
[00:44:27]  Stop.
[00:44:28]  We can't win.
[00:44:29]  Foley, this guy's classed through and through, to be honest with you.
[00:44:32]  And every one of these, he's like indignant about the lack of morality.
[00:44:35]  Dude, when it comes to that, you know, sports little kids, what the fuck?
[00:44:38]  You're taking a fucking baseball.
[00:44:40]  You're a Philly guy.
[00:44:40]  You guys are the worst human beings in the world.
[00:44:42]  That's insane.
[00:44:43]  That's come on.
[00:44:43]  That's all bad.
[00:44:44]  I do agree.
[00:44:45]  I do kind of agree with it, but it's sports fans.
[00:44:47]  We were raised in it, so I'm like, ah, it is what it is.
[00:44:50]  You're great people.
[00:44:51]  And when it's not come to sport, when it comes to one, when it comes to sports, you're the biggest bags of shit ever.
[00:44:55]  And I hate that you have passionate about it.
[00:44:58]  You may be the best organization in football right now really bothers me because you don't deserve it.
[00:45:02]  You don't deserve to be.
[00:45:02]  You're talking about I don't know enough about sports.
[00:45:05]  Why do people hate Philly fans?
[00:45:07]  Philadelphia looks at me.
[00:45:08]  There's a couple of things.
[00:45:11]  They don't like the Cowboys and shit like that.
[00:45:13]  Nah, the Cowboys, but this is the only stadium that has a jail.
[00:45:17]  That was old.
[00:45:18]  That was back in the day.
[00:45:19]  Come on.
[00:45:20]  They don't have that anymore.
[00:45:20]  I don't think snowballs are Santa Claus.
[00:45:22]  That's all my dad used to say.
[00:45:23]  That was like 40 years ago.
[00:45:25]  They put batteries, batteries inside of snowballs and then throw them at players.
[00:45:29]  That was the 70s.
[00:45:30]  Yeah, that was so long ago.
[00:45:31]  What the fuck?
[00:45:32]  That was the worst thing happened in the 70s or something.
[00:45:35]  He spit first.
[00:45:36]  He spit first.
[00:45:37]  He spit on the ground.
[00:45:38]  And I didn't like the Cowboys.
[00:45:40]  He spit on the ground.
[00:45:41]  You know, and the guy spits on his face, and you know, he stepped up and spit, made eye contact with him, spit, and then laughs at him.
[00:45:47]  Spit on the ground.
[00:45:49]  Don't even try this.
[00:45:50]  Didn't you worry about it?
[00:45:51]  But this is, listen, I don't agree with it, but this is very.
[00:45:57]  It's like, if you, if you cross the line, you will get got.
[00:46:01]  He crossed the line and then he got spit on.
[00:46:03]  I'm not saying it's right, but that is, that is an eye for, that is eye for eye.
[00:46:08]  Hold on, what is he looking at?
[00:46:09]  Was he looking at him like, yeah, what's up, pussy?
[00:46:10]  Or was he just saying, hey?
[00:46:11]  No, he laughed.
[00:46:12]  Are you kidding me?
[00:46:13]  Then fight him.
[00:46:13]  Don't spit on him.
[00:46:14]  Well, that is typically that leads to a fight.
[00:46:19]  Nah, he spit on the ground, dude.
[00:46:20]  He didn't spit at him at all.
[00:46:21]  The teacher saw you right at him and then looks at him and stuff.
[00:46:25]  Nah.
[00:46:25]  Yeah, he's racially motivated.
[00:46:28]  I'm saying go birds on this one.
[00:46:30]  Gay birds.
[00:46:32]  Yeah, no.
[00:46:32]  The fans are.
[00:46:34]  Obviously, they are laughed.
[00:46:35]  It's gotten way better.
[00:46:36]  Like, if you're like, you, everyone.
[00:46:37]  Why aren't you guys eating horse shit when you after you won?
[00:46:40]  It's a celebration.
[00:46:42]  Wait, why are you doing that?
[00:46:43]  What's the score of everyone?
[00:46:45]  Tennis matches get two?
[00:46:47]  Fucking guy.
[00:46:47]  You're like my time.
[00:46:50]  Oh, sorry.
[00:46:50]  We can't all be a Wimbledon.
[00:46:52]  Some of us have to eat horse shit on Broad Street.
[00:46:54]  Yeah, what's this we think?
[00:46:55]  I think everybody seemed to that and eat it together.
[00:46:58]  It was one guy.
[00:46:59]  Mom mentality and fully apologizes for it.
[00:47:03]  Miss Protein.
[00:47:06]  This is Zenbound.
[00:47:08]  I had a bacon sandwich, but I lost it.
[00:47:10]  There is, listen, I've been to many a celebration.
[00:47:14]  So like, you know, I try to watch any championship team.
[00:47:17]  I try to go back to Philly to watch it.
[00:47:18]  I'm getting it.
[00:47:19]  I'm older now, but they don't do it.
[00:47:20]  But like, if you win, there is this like dirtbag homing device in you that just drags you out of whatever neighborhood you're in down to City Hall.
[00:47:30]  And that's where it all, that's where it all is.
[00:47:32]  I've never done this.
[00:47:34]  From the suburbs.
[00:47:35]  The walk is too far.
[00:47:37]  You want to go nine blocks?
[00:47:38]  You know, it's funny.
[00:47:39]  You're gonna be bullshit there.
[00:47:44]  You know what it is?
[00:47:44]  Because we went to the NFC championship game last year, and then when we got out of there, it was a manhouse.
[00:47:49]  We couldn't get an Uber out of there to get back to our hotel in Center City.
[00:47:52]  We had to walk out.
[00:47:53]  We had to walk down into the subway.
[00:47:54]  We're gonna take the subway.
[00:47:55]  This is the story.
[00:47:56]  He's gonna make it sound like it's 50 hours long.
[00:47:58]  It was like 10 years away.
[00:48:00]  It was brutal.
[00:48:01]  Old subway, by the way.
[00:48:02]  Upgrade.
[00:48:02]  I've been in the subway.
[00:48:03]  It's not that bad.
[00:48:04]  Where?
[00:48:05]  I spent a lot of time in Philly because my wife is from there.
[00:48:07]  Okay.
[00:48:07]  So I've ridden the subway.
[00:48:09]  She went to, she lived in West Philly for a little bit.
[00:48:11]  Yeah.
[00:48:11]  And then we rode.
[00:48:12]  I tell you what, go try to do it now, Fatty.
[00:48:14]  All right.
[00:48:16]  See how you fucking feel.
[00:48:18]  Take off two seats, hot gods.
[00:48:20]  You're going to be huffing and wheezing.
[00:48:21]  It's going to cost you two swipes.
[00:48:23]  But this, this is all good fun, man.
[00:48:26]  That's just in me.
[00:48:27]  It's good fun.
[00:48:27]  There's nothing wrong with this.
[00:48:28]  You're just there.
[00:48:32]  That's what we just got.
[00:48:33]  The Knicks will have.
[00:48:35]  I didn't realize.
[00:48:36]  And they didn't even make it to the championship.
[00:48:38]  Yeah.
[00:48:39]  You guys also won like game three and went nuts.
[00:48:43]  That's a championship for us, guys.
[00:48:44]  Yeah.
[00:48:45]  Which I respect your right to do.
[00:48:46]  But they haven't been to the conference finals in 30 years or whatever.
[00:48:49]  I respect.
[00:48:49]  And the Knicks are the only team here.
[00:48:51]  We're not playing.
[00:48:53]  By all means.
[00:48:54]  Yeah.
[00:48:54]  Enjoy yourself.
[00:48:55]  No, no, I'm sitting down in the Saboros next to the fucking Madison Sword Garden.
[00:48:58]  I don't care.
[00:48:58]  The thing with Philly, people, I thought winning that first Super Bowl would like calm you down.
[00:49:03]  It hasn't.
[00:49:03]  You're somehow worse.
[00:49:05]  Now we're activated.
[00:49:05]  They're not worse.
[00:49:06]  Yeah.
[00:49:06]  No.
[00:49:07]  Listen, this is going to happen.
[00:49:08]  Someone died last year.
[00:49:10]  All right.
[00:49:10]  People die every day.
[00:49:11]  This fucking day.
[00:49:11]  What are you going to do?
[00:49:12]  We're celebrating.
[00:49:13]  They jumped off of a poke.
[00:49:14]  That's a sin.
[00:49:16]  He was trying to be.
[00:49:16]  Yeah.
[00:49:17]  You know what I do respect?
[00:49:18]  There's a video of a burning building.
[00:49:20]  This is the year after they won the Super Bowl.
[00:49:22]  Hold on, hold on, hold on.
[00:49:24]  Hold on.
[00:49:24]  No, this is actually, I compliment this.
[00:49:26]  It was a year or two after the Eagles won the Super Bowl and they were not playing well.
[00:49:29]  And this wide receiver had kept dropping past.
[00:49:32]  His name was Nelson Aguilar.
[00:49:33]  Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[00:49:33]  And then the building's on fire, and they're throwing babies out of the building, and a guy's catching them to save the babies' lives.
[00:49:39]  In the news interview, he goes, Yeah, I caught the babies.
[00:49:42]  I'm not like Aguilar or whatever.
[00:49:45]  Even the fucking, I just saved six babies interviews.
[00:49:47]  Unlike Aguilar.
[00:49:48]  Yeah, unlike Aguilar.
[00:49:49]  I caught him.
[00:49:50]  He still found a way to make it about the Eagles.
[00:49:52]  It's unbelievable how much they revolve around sports.
[00:49:55]  It's crazy.
[00:49:55]  That's all they had.
[00:49:56]  This guy.
[00:49:56]  Yeah.
[00:49:57]  That guy's awesome.
[00:49:57]  Yeah.
[00:49:58]  This is a fucking local hero.
[00:49:59]  He's no, this was.
[00:50:00]  I was like, this is actually cool that in this moment, you still care enough about sports to shit on the Eagles.
[00:50:06]  What did he say?
[00:50:07]  And he's assisting people down.
[00:50:09]  My man just started throwing babies out the window.
[00:50:11]  We were catching them.
[00:50:12]  Unlike Aguilar.
[00:50:13]  And that's a hating motherfucker.
[00:50:18]  When Carlay did not come up, he was very professional.
[00:50:21]  For sure.
[00:50:22]  Also, I think he said chucking babies.
[00:50:25]  You know what I mean?
[00:50:26]  Like, oh, we were, you know, you had to drop him down.
[00:50:29]  He's winning.
[00:50:30]  His bushmom.
[00:50:32]  The video is fucking crazy.
[00:50:33]  They're legit throwing babies.
[00:50:34]  He's catching them.
[00:50:35]  The building's on fire.
[00:50:36]  There's like, what else can you do?
[00:50:37]  It's like an incredible thing this guy does.
[00:50:39]  And he still is like, unlike Aguilar, dude.
[00:50:42]  They cannot be from Philly.
[00:50:44]  Yeah, no, it's very, yeah.
[00:50:45]  The Philly guys were always going to be from Philly.
[00:50:48]  There's no identity as unshakable.
[00:50:50]  Those still, I've been to most of those, all but the last one, those celebrations from when the Phillies won back in, what was that, 08 or 09 or whatever that was.
[00:50:58]  I've always ran down and like been one of those guys.
[00:51:02]  And the cops are there.
[00:51:04]  It is pretty like for it's 95% chill.
[00:51:10]  After like an hour or two, it does get a little like it should get something else in your lives.
[00:51:14]  No, I've been to weddings.
[00:51:15]  I swear to God, I've been to weddings.
[00:51:17]  The Eagles fight songs at the wedding.
[00:51:19]  Yeah, dude.
[00:51:21]  I've been to weddings where the fuck they've paid to have Swoop come in for 10 minutes, the mascot, and everybody stands and takes pictures with him.
[00:51:29]  Shout out to Swoop.
[00:51:29]  It's like a thousand bucks.
[00:51:32]  They stand like Sabrina.
[00:51:33]  He wins the Super Bowl.
[00:51:34]  We didn't tell you.
[00:51:35]  No, Caleb.
[00:51:36]  Fanatic married my cousins.
[00:51:38]  Rude.
[00:51:40]  He said cousins would have been fire.
[00:51:43]  Look, I was in Dallas during the 90s.
[00:51:45]  We were never this into.
[00:51:46]  We were never, there's no fight song.
[00:51:47]  I know.
[00:51:48]  Yeah, they're not that.
[00:51:49]  Back then, they were good.
[00:51:51]  Yeah, but like Philly, you know, for the longest time sports-wise, like didn't have much to see.
[00:51:56]  There, Bride surprises Broom with Swoop at the Eagles mascot.
[00:52:01]  We've looked into renting them.
[00:52:02]  We for stuff.
[00:52:04]  Rowdy, the Cowboys mascot, is widely hated in Dallas.
[00:52:07]  Yeah, because he stinks.
[00:52:08]  Yeah, he's a dork.
[00:52:09]  Yeah, he's a dork, but Swoop is not.
[00:52:11]  A great fit man, dude.
[00:52:12]  There's also like different levels of Swoop, I think.
[00:52:14]  Like you can get, like, the official one for like two grand and then for like 500, like it's lazy guzzle.
[00:52:21]  People in Philadelphia are very, very passionate about their sports teams, man.
[00:52:24]  Yeah, I know.
[00:52:26]  It's too much.
[00:52:26]  You guys act like it's a normal degree.
[00:52:27]  That's what I'm saying.
[00:52:28]  It's normal to us.
[00:52:29]  This is I realize in Dallas.
[00:52:31]  You had that and maybe a life with nothing to lose goes a little further.
[00:52:34]  Yeah.
[00:52:35]  You know what I'm talking about?
[00:52:35]  Throwing a perkadoodle in there, you know?
[00:52:37]  Couple vodka red books.
[00:52:40]  I'm just saying.
[00:52:41]  I mean, this is where the garbage is, I think.
[00:52:43]  Philly is maybe the most, and I actually think it's a very underrated city.
[00:52:47]  I do.
[00:52:47]  I love it.
[00:52:47]  I love it.
[00:52:48]  But it is, there is a garbage DNA built into the DNA of Philadelphia.
[00:52:52]  It's like a garbage element that they cannot shake.
[00:52:55]  You could save babies from a burning building and still be a little bit garbage while you do it.
[00:52:59]  Dude, when they played, they were in the playoffs in what, 2005?
[00:53:02]  Burbs, though.
[00:53:03]  I'm out there chilling.
[00:53:04]  We talking about the Burbs.
[00:53:06]  But 2005, right?
[00:53:08]  I think they were in the, they play, the Super Bowl was in 2005.
[00:53:11]  They lost.
[00:53:13]  And my cousin went down.
[00:53:14]  And that's when things get ugly.
[00:53:16]  They were interviewing him.
[00:53:18]  He was in Tampa Bay.
[00:53:19]  And I think that's where it was.
[00:53:20]  They were interviewing him.
[00:53:21]  And he's got a big, fucking big black eye, big nod on his eye.
[00:53:25]  I'm like, Channel 6 News is interviewing him.
[00:53:27]  And they're like, oh, what happened to you?
[00:53:29]  You know, he's tailgating a little too early or something.
[00:53:31]  It was like three days before the fucking team.
[00:53:33]  This is like Friday.
[00:53:35]  He got down.
[00:53:35]  He got to town, got in some sort of clear fist.
[00:53:38]  Yeah.
[00:53:39]  And he ends up on the news.
[00:53:42]  And they're like, well, you know, and he's like, they're like, ah, you know, what happened to you?
[00:53:45]  He's like, you should see her.
[00:53:46]  And I was like, oh, no.
[00:53:51]  So then he shows up and he's like, you guys see me on the, it's like making the rounds and stuff.
[00:53:56]  It was loud.
[00:53:57]  It's like, yeah, that is like the most tasteless.
[00:54:01]  It's too tasteless.
[00:54:02]  Well, you should see her.
[00:54:04]  And everyone, all my aunts were like, hey, my God, he's a mess.
[00:54:08]  He's sober now.
[00:54:09]  He's doing it.
[00:54:09]  But then that's what makes you guys the guys to do Are You Garbage?
[00:54:12]  You're Philadelphians through and through.
[00:54:14]  You know garbage.
[00:54:15]  Sure.
[00:54:15]  You grew up around it.
[00:54:16]  It's, yeah.
[00:54:18]  But to go back to the sports, it wasn't.
[00:54:20]  It was just trashy.
[00:54:20]  Just trash.
[00:54:21]  I didn't realize it wasn't in Dallas.
[00:54:23]  We went to a game, went to an Eagles game.
[00:54:25]  It was like a Monday night.
[00:54:26]  It was a couple years ago.
[00:54:27]  Yeah.
[00:54:27]  We went to the stadium.
[00:54:28]  I think the Cowboys actually won this game.
[00:54:30]  They did because we.
[00:54:31]  Oh, Dallas.
[00:54:32]  That's right.
[00:54:32]  It was after Austin, I think.
[00:54:33]  You guys were going to be able to do it.
[00:54:34]  Yeah, we went right out from Utah, right from the Comedy Festival.
[00:54:36]  We drove up.
[00:54:37]  And I think you had an E. You had like a Philly's hat on.
[00:54:42]  That was like the most branded Philadelphia stuff was like a Philly's hat.
[00:54:45]  And man, they were just giving us just like, you know, you stink.
[00:54:50]  And I'm like, it was adorable.
[00:54:51]  It was like so sweet.
[00:54:52]  I'm like, this is like, it's like this, the four-year-olds do at a Philly's game.
[00:54:56]  You know, they're like, ooh, you stink.
[00:54:57]  And I was like, I was ready to fight my way out of here, but they were all just like.

=== Branded Philly Hat Moments (12:29) ===

[00:55:00]  Bro, do you see the guy that stands outside of arenas and fights people wearing the opposite team's gear?
[00:55:05]  Is he the guy?
[00:55:06]  He's like a young kid.
[00:55:07]  Yeah.
[00:55:07]  Yeah.
[00:55:08]  There's a couple of those.
[00:55:08]  He just goes to like arenas and stadiums out around the country wearing the opposing team's gear and just talks shit to people and tries to start fights.
[00:55:16]  And it's unbelievably entertaining.
[00:55:18]  I like that guy.
[00:55:19]  And I like that guy who fights his followers until he reaches a million or whatever.
[00:55:23]  Do you ever see that guy?
[00:55:25]  He just fights his followers.
[00:55:26]  He's like, hey, what's up?
[00:55:27]  I remember I found the account when he had like 3,000 followers.
[00:55:29]  And then like, he just, now he's like fighting influencers at this point.
[00:55:34]  But he goes around the world and just fights.
[00:55:36]  And he just fights people.
[00:55:37]  No.
[00:55:37]  Dude, his like fifth, dude, his fifth whining, dude, he like they full-blown fight.
[00:55:42]  And his fifth one, he's like, yo, what's up?
[00:55:43]  I'm headed to fight my old boss, Randy.
[00:55:45]  And just like, no.
[00:55:46]  He's a British guy.
[00:55:47]  You've never seen him?
[00:55:48]  No.
[00:55:48]  He just fights.
[00:55:50]  They just start wailing on each other.
[00:55:52]  He did one in front of the Eiffel Tower.
[00:55:54]  Yeah, now he goes, he did like, he did like the pyramids.
[00:55:59]  They just throw haymakers.
[00:56:00]  All right.
[00:56:00]  I have to piss while we watch this.
[00:56:02]  I'm sorry.
[00:56:02]  Don't piss my pants.
[00:56:04]  Small bladder, dude.
[00:56:06]  I mean, all time.
[00:56:08]  He's got a chariot.
[00:56:09]  Oh, that's garbage.
[00:56:11]  That's great.
[00:56:12]  And apparently he's broke.
[00:56:14]  I mean, yeah.
[00:56:15]  Yeah, no, you're flying to Egypt to fight a guy for free.
[00:56:18]  This doesn't feel like trust fun kid energy.
[00:56:20]  No.
[00:56:21]  But he's just like, yeah, I don't have any money.
[00:56:22]  He's trying to move.
[00:56:23]  He was, I couldn't pay rent or something like that.
[00:56:25]  He fucks this guy up.
[00:56:27]  Dude, imagine humping all the way out there, hot as shit.
[00:56:29]  Just get your ass kicked.
[00:56:32]  Fuck that.
[00:56:33]  That's pretty good.
[00:56:35]  They dap up every time.
[00:56:36]  Yeah.
[00:56:37]  It's all like chill.
[00:56:39]  Famous landmarks around the world.
[00:56:40]  Holy shit.
[00:56:41]  Kind of great.
[00:56:43]  That's good content.
[00:56:44]  All right, guys.
[00:56:46]  You see the blue light?
[00:56:47]  So I got to talk to the noodle dicks out there like myself, maybe.
[00:56:50]  Who knows?
[00:56:51]  I don't know because I've been taking blue chew.
[00:56:52]  I've been chewing it up.
[00:56:54]  And that shit is performance enhancing in the most important realm of performance.
[00:56:59]  Guys, if you have a lady you need to impress, maybe it's your wife, maybe it's a girl that you're just going on a couple of dates with and you're trying to get her to stay, then you need to pop yourself a blue chew and perform at your peak, guys.
[00:57:11]  You see that blue light?
[00:57:12]  That blue light don't fuck around.
[00:57:13]  They've been sponsoring us since like year one of Flagrant.
[00:57:16]  We're in year seven and we are still rocking with them, rocking with them.
[00:57:20]  Get it?
[00:57:20]  Ah, because they're the chew.
[00:57:22]  They're the ones we trust.
[00:57:23]  It's got the same active ingredients as all those other shits that get your dick hard, but it's the chew.
[00:57:28]  It's the one we trust.
[00:57:29]  It's the one that we, it's the one that we use.
[00:57:31]  And as always, we have a great deal for our listeners.
[00:57:34]  You can get your first month for free.
[00:57:36]  All you got to do is pay $5 for shipping, but the first month is free if you go to bluechew.com and use the promo code flagrant.
[00:57:43]  Again, free of checkout.
[00:57:44]  You just pay five bucks for shipping.
[00:57:46]  Go to bluechew.com, check out the details, check out the safety info, make sure this is right for you and use the promo code flagrant first month for free.
[00:57:53]  Now let's get back to the show.
[00:57:54]  All right, we got a couple more things for you.
[00:57:56]  Garbage.
[00:57:56]  Garbage stuff.
[00:57:57]  You're the garbage judges.
[00:57:58]  Sure.
[00:57:58]  You guys have garbage court?
[00:58:01]  Nice.
[00:58:02]  Each episode would be that kind of.
[00:58:04]  All right, perfect.
[00:58:05]  Okay.
[00:58:06]  I like that.
[00:58:06]  Cut that.
[00:58:09]  We're coming this fall on TV4.
[00:58:12]  All right.
[00:58:13]  So I am trying to organize a dinner with a bunch of comics from India.
[00:58:16]  One comic is with a friend of mine.
[00:58:19]  I don't know this person personally, but I'm like, I would like for them to come.
[00:58:23]  Let's just build a little community of brown comics from here in India, like whatever.
[00:58:27]  Okay.
[00:58:28]  Hard.
[00:58:28]  I'm trying to get a reservation new on a Friday night to decide.
[00:58:31]  So I'm like, how many people are there?
[00:58:32]  So I tell my friend, I say, hey, ask that person if they want to come.
[00:58:36]  And they say, maybe.
[00:58:38]  So I'm like, okay.
[00:58:39]  So I'm giving them a little time.
[00:58:40]  I figure I'll check back in in like an hour and a half.
[00:58:42]  I ask my friend again, hey, is that person going to come to dinner or not?
[00:58:45]  And they're like, maybe.
[00:58:46]  So I'm texting the reservation guy, like, I don't know how many people are coming.
[00:58:49]  My friend goes, he wants you to text him personally.
[00:58:52]  So I say, fine, give me his number.
[00:58:54]  I text him.
[00:58:55]  I say, yo, what's up, my brother?
[00:58:57]  This is Akash.
[00:58:59]  And then he just goes.
[00:59:00]  I don't like that move, but yeah, I don't like the fact that you have to text this guy personally.
[00:59:03]  And he just goes, he just goes, hey, no.
[00:59:07]  And then I go, I'll answer for him.
[00:59:10]  He's not coming to the dinner.
[00:59:12]  No, fuck all y'all.
[00:59:13]  Fuck all y'all.
[00:59:14]  You hit someone with the hay, you can suck all the fucking bitch.
[00:59:18]  That is a cuzy response and you know it.
[00:59:21]  Thank you.
[00:59:22]  Thank you.
[00:59:23]  And I said, so I hit him.
[00:59:24]  I'm like, hey, man, all I need is a yes or no.
[00:59:26]  I'm trying to make reservations on a Friday night in New York City to do a nice thing.
[00:59:30]  All I need is a yes or no.
[00:59:31]  You don't have to come.
[00:59:32]  It's fine.
[00:59:32]  Just give me an answer.
[00:59:33]  Then no response.
[00:59:35]  Wait, who is you got beef with this guy?
[00:59:36]  And I don't have beef with them, but the answer is yes.
[00:59:41]  The guy's doing phenomenally.
[00:59:42]  I won't say what he's done because I will tell everybody who it is, but it's like, oh, you're a dickbag.
[00:59:47]  And I realized he wasn't cool with it, just like if you invited us, but you texted me and I went to Kevin.
[00:59:53]  Hey, I coach invited us to dinner.
[00:59:54]  That's all it was?
[00:59:55]  Yeah.
[00:59:55]  He wanted a personal personal text.
[00:59:58]  Then you did a personal text.
[00:59:59]  No, I said all things.
[01:00:02]  And then I did hit him personally.
[01:00:03]  And I said, hey, fuck him.
[01:00:04]  Yeah.
[01:00:05]  Yes, that's that's what's this guy's whole thing.
[01:00:07]  That might have been dot dot dot.
[01:00:09]  Thank you.
[01:00:10]  No, thank you.
[01:00:10]  Thank you.
[01:00:11]  No, it was that like some power move to like, you know, I'm probably the guy's more successful than me, so it's not even a question.
[01:00:20]  Now, if he was asking me, I'd go, I respect the power move.
[01:00:24]  That is in a true dirtbag form.
[01:00:26]  Okay.
[01:00:26]  I respect the power move on his behalf.
[01:00:27]  On my behalf.
[01:00:29]  I don't wish failure upon him, but we're not cool.
[01:00:31]  Fuck you a little bit.
[01:00:32]  I tried to patch it up too.
[01:00:33]  No response.
[01:00:34]  Why would you touch it?
[01:00:35]  Well, I wanted that person to come on the pod.
[01:00:37]  They were in New York, and I was like, you know what?
[01:00:39]  They convinced me I was a dickhead.
[01:00:41]  So I was like, hey, man, I'd love for you to come on the pod.
[01:00:43]  This is me personally asking you with a little crying emoji trying to make a laugh, whatever.
[01:00:46]  For some reason, the first time you explained the story, you sound like a dickhead.
[01:00:50]  I don't know.
[01:00:51]  I don't like this.
[01:00:53]  I don't like this.
[01:00:54]  I know.
[01:00:54]  I know that.
[01:00:55]  I'm right.
[01:00:56]  Always.
[01:00:56]  I'm right.
[01:00:57]  You didn't think he needed a personal response.
[01:00:59]  You didn't say that.
[01:01:00]  He made some tweets.
[01:01:00]  You said I was.
[01:01:02]  Miles.
[01:01:02]  There's a couple flip-floppers.
[01:01:05]  You sit off me.
[01:01:06]  Because he was immediately like, fuck that.
[01:01:08]  Immediately, that's why you were like, oh, yeah.
[01:01:11]  You were both last time.
[01:01:12]  I don't know who's both fucking visitors.
[01:01:15]  You're both fucking.
[01:01:16]  I still think this is.
[01:01:17]  We've infiltrated Flagrant and we're going to break it down from the inside.
[01:01:21]  I don't like this at all.
[01:01:22]  That's what I did to hide this.
[01:01:25]  What's the real story here?
[01:01:26]  I'll show you the text.
[01:01:28]  I'll show you the texts.
[01:01:30]  Yeah, that's fucked up.
[01:01:31]  That's like, that's corn.
[01:01:32]  I don't know.
[01:01:32]  I don't, I don't know any of these.
[01:01:34]  To me, that's a power move.
[01:01:35]  And I'm not going to the dinner.
[01:01:37]  Let's just not show the name.
[01:01:39]  Of course.
[01:01:40]  Dickhead, you want to come to dinner?
[01:01:43]  See, they're going to do it, right?
[01:01:49]  I think I'm 99% accurate on whatever.
[01:01:51]  That's wild.
[01:01:52]  Thank you.
[01:01:55]  He just hit you with a hay two hours later.
[01:01:59]  Oh, don't appreciate that.
[01:02:00]  No.
[01:02:01]  10 minutes later, you close the gather response gap.
[01:02:04]  I like that.
[01:02:04]  Yeah, yeah.
[01:02:04]  Well, then I hit him with you.
[01:02:06]  Then I hit him with the iced you three months.
[01:02:08]  Nope.
[01:02:08]  Yeah, fuck that guy.
[01:02:09]  That guy's done.
[01:02:10]  Wait, hold on.
[01:02:11]  You got iced and then you doubled down to get him on the pod?
[01:02:14]  Because they told me I was being a dickhead.
[01:02:16]  Who gives a shit about that?
[01:02:17]  They gaslit me.
[01:02:18]  Who cares?
[01:02:20]  Man, to put it.
[01:02:21]  He's a hater.
[01:02:21]  Most of the time.
[01:02:23]  Most of the time he's in the room.
[01:02:27]  Can you see this?
[01:02:28]  This guy iced you on dinner.
[01:02:29]  You're going to have him on the pod?
[01:02:30]  Fuck that guy.
[01:02:31]  Why do we need to sit together on flights?
[01:02:33]  No, I'm going to say, there's something missing because y'all ain't and y'all told me how y'all out there.
[01:02:38]  Miles is like, you should reach out.
[01:02:40]  Did you guys tell him to invite the guy in the podcast because of the dinner thing?
[01:02:45]  This is years later.
[01:02:46]  And I don't know.
[01:02:47]  I don't harbor a grudge.
[01:02:48]  It's like, fuck this guy.
[01:02:50]  But yeah, yeah, no, not back to back.
[01:02:52]  No, no, no, not back to back.
[01:02:53]  But they also convinced me I was a dick bag.
[01:02:55]  So I was like, maybe, but I'd be right.
[01:02:57]  I'd be having reasons and I'd be right.
[01:02:59]  Yeah.
[01:03:00]  That guy's in the other.
[01:03:01]  I don't have smoke with him, but we're good.
[01:03:04]  I think I remember.
[01:03:06]  This is the story.
[01:03:07]  This is adorable.
[01:03:07]  This is the story.
[01:03:08]  This is adorable.
[01:03:09]  He goes, this guy's coming to town.
[01:03:11]  Is he speaking your love language, Mark?
[01:03:16]  I don't understand any of the languages those people speak.
[01:03:21]  He was like, he came into town.
[01:03:23]  I reached out to him.
[01:03:24]  I messaged him.
[01:03:24]  He just texted me back.
[01:03:25]  Hey, and then he never got back to me.
[01:03:27]  Which is right.
[01:03:28]  You think that's the story I told?
[01:03:29]  I thought I didn't know if he needed a personal reach out.
[01:03:32]  I didn't know if he needed a personal reach out.
[01:03:34]  Did you think he needed a personal reach out?
[01:03:35]  I don't know.
[01:03:36]  I don't remember the full story, but this is why you sounded way like it's different.
[01:03:42]  It worked out the beach.
[01:03:43]  I showed you the text before.
[01:03:45]  These are the texts.
[01:03:46]  No, I believe it.
[01:03:46]  I believe it.
[01:03:47]  But you're a dick most of the time.
[01:03:48]  Can I answer a question?
[01:03:50]  I'm just a dick.
[01:03:51]  I'm just curious.
[01:03:51]  I'm a principled person.
[01:03:52]  Was it an Indian restaurant you guys were going to?
[01:03:54]  No.
[01:03:55]  It was when they were going to get there.
[01:03:59]  It wasn't about 9:05.
[01:04:02]  Table series.
[01:04:05]  Talk about a lot of leftovers.
[01:04:08]  No, it was Ruby Rosa, my favorite restaurant.
[01:04:10]  You got to get me in there.
[01:04:13]  They got rid of my guy that I love.
[01:04:14]  Julio.
[01:04:15]  I'll still try, but they got all the time.
[01:04:17]  That's my guy.
[01:04:18]  It's so good.
[01:04:19]  It's so good.
[01:04:20]  Because it's not pretentious.
[01:04:21]  It's not.
[01:04:22]  I actually think Teresi might be my favorite right now, but Ruby Rosa is just a great fucking meal.
[01:04:27]  There's no like pretentiousness to it, and it's just quality food.
[01:04:30]  You guys have all been, right?
[01:04:31]  I haven't.
[01:04:32]  Is it garbage to go to a really nice restaurant and just get dessert?
[01:04:37]  Do you make a reservation or do you like sit at the bar or something?
[01:04:40]  Or do you go in and pop in and just grab a table?
[01:04:42]  I went in and I was like, hey, do you guys have a table?
[01:04:43]  And they're like, yeah, come back in two hours.
[01:04:45]  Went to a different restaurant.
[01:04:47]  Then didn't want to waste the reservation at the nicer spot.
[01:04:51]  What?
[01:04:51]  Congested dessert.
[01:04:52]  Who the fuck are you guys?
[01:04:53]  Man, that's why you guys are living such different lives.
[01:04:57]  It's crazy.
[01:04:58]  I would never do that.
[01:04:59]  And I'd make more money than him, and I wouldn't do this.
[01:05:02]  What time of the day?
[01:05:02]  I'm waiting for Teresi.
[01:05:03]  I'm waiting.
[01:05:04]  Was that Teresi?
[01:05:05]  No.
[01:05:05]  By yourself?
[01:05:06]  No, no, I was with someone.
[01:05:07]  But it's very funny.
[01:05:08]  This guy's popping up.
[01:05:09]  Okay, okay.
[01:05:10]  This guy.
[01:05:10]  See, this changes it up.
[01:05:12]  On a date, you're allowed to do that.
[01:05:13]  On a date.
[01:05:13]  But when you got there, did you say, hey, we wanted to keep the reservation?
[01:05:16]  We're just going to have a little dessert.
[01:05:17]  I told the hostess that, and then the waiter, after finding out, comes and whispers in my ear and goes, Table's got a 30-minute limit.
[01:05:25]  I respect that on a little.
[01:05:26]  Hey, hey, get your fucking slice of taramasou.
[01:05:30]  What time of the night was this?
[01:05:31]  Like 8:30, 9 p.m.
[01:05:33]  Oh, is that why you tell the story all the time?
[01:05:35]  Because you feel guilty about it.
[01:05:37]  How much did you tip?
[01:05:38]  A lot, a lot.
[01:05:39]  Yeah.
[01:05:40]  And the thing is, nobody told that waiter to say that stuff.
[01:05:42]  And there is no 30-minute limit.
[01:05:43]  No owner of a reservation.
[01:05:44]  He just gets that guy out of here.
[01:05:46]  Yeah, you can make more money on the table.
[01:05:48]  Yeah.
[01:05:48]  Of course.
[01:05:49]  No, he could, but owners and managers don't care about that shit.
[01:05:53]  It's your dining experience.
[01:05:54]  I respect that.
[01:05:56]  I respect that.
[01:05:56]  You made the registration.
[01:05:58]  I'm trying to cover fucking rent.
[01:05:59]  His guy's here trying to get some pussy.
[01:06:03]  And I tell you what, if you have a great experience, you're going to come back and he's going to make more money.
[01:06:06]  That's a dickhead move on his part.
[01:06:07]  Especially if you're with a date.
[01:06:09]  That's kind of cock blocking.
[01:06:10]  He did win my ear.
[01:06:11]  He didn't say it aloud, which was nice.
[01:06:13]  Still, that's okay.
[01:06:15]  I'm not mad at it.
[01:06:15]  No, I'm mad at it.
[01:06:17]  So you're saying that?
[01:06:17]  Yeah.
[01:06:18]  Dude, it's like, what?
[01:06:18]  It's just, I don't know.
[01:06:19]  I mean, I don't even, first of all, this is all stupid.
[01:06:20]  I don't even know what the fuck they're talking about, but it sounds like a nice joke.
[01:06:23]  It's probably a tough reservation to get.
[01:06:25]  Oh, guys, Teresi's fantastic.
[01:06:27]  It's hard to get.
[01:06:29]  I don't know if you've ever been to the bonefish grill.
[01:06:32]  Dude, I'm normally not into foodie type shit.
[01:06:35]  This is as elevated as I can get, and it's fucking phenomenal.
[01:06:38]  Just dessert at 830 is a little wild, but it's a nice touch on the date.
[01:06:41]  Thank you so much.
[01:06:42]  I've done that with my wife.
[01:06:43]  We'll go somewhere and then be like walking around.
[01:06:45]  She's like, I don't want to go home.
[01:06:46]  You know, we'll just, and then we've popped into like a place that has like a bar or like a high-top seating, and we'll pop in and I'll grab a drink and you know, dessert or whatever.
[01:06:55]  But like, oh, I forgot part of the story.
[01:06:57]  I got drunk at the first restaurant waiting for the second table to come up, and they texted me.
[01:07:01]  Like, I thought it was just Rezi that texted me or like the, you know, the reservation.
[01:07:05]  And they said, hi, just so you know, we have a table available for you at 9 p.m.
[01:07:09]  Do you want to take it?
[01:07:10]  And I said, you're going to have to convince me.
[01:07:12]  Ah, think of it.
[01:07:14]  To the waiter.
[01:07:15]  It goes back to the hostess.
[01:07:16]  All right, I'm back.
[01:07:17]  All right, fuck out.
[01:07:20]  I forgot.
[01:07:20]  I forgot.
[01:07:20]  He comes in and orders a slice of cake.
[01:07:23]  Or that story changes.
[01:07:25]  I know, right?
[01:07:25]  Yeah.
[01:07:25]  Yeah.
[01:07:27]  You guys are fucking all over the place.

=== Reservation Table Convincing (17:33) ===

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[01:07:37]  That's all you're doing.
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[01:08:28]  You can go to davidbar.com or you go to davidprotein.com slash flagrant if you want to try all their six delicious flavors because they're all worth trying.
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[01:08:52]  Now let's get back to the show.
[01:08:54]  Listen up, America.
[01:08:56]  It's time to prove you're a citizen.
[01:08:57]  It's time to prove you're an American.
[01:08:59]  We're shipping motherfuckers back for no reason.
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[01:09:20]  Get yourself some black rifle coffee capsules.
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[01:09:34]  So, black rifle coffee capsules.
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[01:10:09]  Promo code flagrant.
[01:10:10]  You can also find their pods, energy drinks, and gear wherever badassery is sold.
[01:10:15]  I wish that wasn't mandatory, but it's highlighted yellow, so it means I have to say it like that.
[01:10:19]  But really, all that means is grocery stores and gas stations.
[01:10:21]  See y'all later.
[01:10:22]  This is decidedly garbage, but I want you to guess who it is.
[01:10:27]  From the squad?
[01:10:28]  Yeah, we all go to hotels, all of us.
[01:10:30]  That's part of our job.
[01:10:32]  Probably jerk off in the hotel.
[01:10:34]  Sure.
[01:10:34]  Not above it.
[01:10:35]  Nope.
[01:10:36]  Where do you ejaculate?
[01:10:39]  And one of us.
[01:10:42]  One of us, one of us does it on the floor.
[01:10:47]  Listen, I've heard that a lot.
[01:10:49]  What?
[01:10:50]  Yeah.
[01:10:50]  A lot of people do this.
[01:10:51]  Comics are fucking dirtbags.
[01:10:54]  Fucking go.
[01:10:55]  Listen, I'm not condoning it.
[01:10:57]  I have to forget that it happens.
[01:10:58]  I take one of the hand towel or something.
[01:11:02]  That's a classic movie.
[01:11:03]  Warm it up.
[01:11:06]  I don't do it anymore.
[01:11:08]  But it was something I used to do.
[01:11:08]  See, you like put it out with your foot, like a cigarette?
[01:11:10]  Do you get a little fucking carbon?
[01:11:12]  Usually the side of the bed you don't get out of.
[01:11:14]  So furthest away from all the other.
[01:11:16]  So the cold.
[01:11:17]  What's the is it like a just tired, clean lazy to get out of bed?
[01:11:21]  Yeah, just suggest.
[01:11:22]  So you'd be laying in bed and roll over.
[01:11:24]  Roll over.
[01:11:24]  Huh.
[01:11:25]  You're rolling over mid-ejaculation.
[01:11:27]  You're doing a sideways.
[01:11:28]  Sideways jack off.
[01:11:29]  It's crazy.
[01:11:30]  You just jerk off sideways.
[01:11:31]  Like a moment back, and then just bang after you come?
[01:11:34]  No, while he's coming.
[01:11:36]  Yeah, that's happening.
[01:11:38]  That's a man weird.
[01:11:39]  You feel there?
[01:11:41]  You guys are all freaked out.
[01:11:43]  Why do you lean over?
[01:11:44]  Like, that's just insane to me.
[01:11:45]  I don't want to do it on the bed.
[01:11:46]  You do it side saddles, going like some of us got to get a little on the bed.
[01:11:51]  Yeah, right.
[01:11:52]  I make sure not a little dribble.
[01:11:54]  It's everything's hanging out.
[01:11:56]  Why don't you just do it on your own chest like me?
[01:11:59]  Like, this is disgusting, right?
[01:12:01]  Trying to lean over just a better option than that.
[01:12:04]  I'm pretty gross when it comes to that.
[01:12:06]  What do you do?
[01:12:08]  Yeah, yeah, let's go.
[01:12:10]  Let's get it going.
[01:12:11]  I'm not upset by the grossness factor.
[01:12:13]  Anyway, it's just weird.
[01:12:15]  Yes, I know that.
[01:12:16]  I know it's weird.
[01:12:16]  I don't do it.
[01:12:17]  Maybe you want to throw up.
[01:12:18]  It's not that.
[01:12:19]  I don't think you want to hear what I do it.
[01:12:22]  You know those coffee filters?
[01:12:24]  No.
[01:12:27]  I just do it.
[01:12:29]  And he puts his underwear back on a lot of times.
[01:12:33]  That's way worse.
[01:12:36]  I use the comforter.
[01:12:39]  Are you?
[01:12:39]  No, don't lie to me.
[01:12:41]  It's a hotel.
[01:12:43]  They're coming back there.
[01:12:44]  You use the comforter?
[01:12:45]  Yeah.
[01:12:46]  Yes.
[01:12:48]  Oh, I'm in the clear now.
[01:12:50]  Anything you think, like, one of someone on your team does gross, we got you.
[01:12:54]  But again, I said, not the grossest factor, just the weird factor of rolling over and you know, like spinning a platoon.
[01:13:02]  You know, strange.
[01:13:04]  Yeah, dude, hotels are grimy.
[01:13:07]  Many times they're so gross.
[01:13:09]  I need to quit comedy.
[01:13:10]  Yeah.
[01:13:12]  I don't know.
[01:13:12]  I don't know another workaround.
[01:13:13]  Think about every hotel bed you've slept in.
[01:13:16]  Yeah, you can't, you just can't think about that stuff.
[01:13:19]  I was at a hotel for a week.
[01:13:21]  Oh, God.
[01:13:23]  This summer.
[01:13:24]  They couldn't get the comforter unfolded.
[01:13:27]  They couldn't get on the comfort of the battle.
[01:13:28]  They couldn't find the remote if you catch my drug.
[01:13:30]  In a rough situation, I left this place like, man, they're going to walk in here and be like, fuck.
[01:13:35]  Vietnam is fucked up.
[01:13:39]  But it wasn't.
[01:13:39]  It was the way it went down.
[01:13:42]  What do you mean, the way it went down?
[01:13:45]  It's like a mom thing.
[01:13:46]  Stop bringing up my table.
[01:13:47]  Look, things went left.
[01:13:48]  I don't know.
[01:13:49]  Well, this is not chest design.
[01:13:52]  I got issues.
[01:13:56]  Is that what you thought?
[01:13:57]  That you're walking into fresh sheets and towels.
[01:14:00]  No.
[01:14:01]  It's all hookers and fucking mats and shit like that.
[01:14:04]  Everyone's getting fucked up, jerking off everywhere.
[01:14:06]  And it's not your home, so you feel less guilty.
[01:14:09]  What's wrong with human beings?
[01:14:11]  They're animals.
[01:14:12]  You steal baseball from the bottom.
[01:14:13]  You judge the baseball ceiling guy.
[01:14:15]  You're coming in fucking comforters.
[01:14:18]  And the children probably sleep in your cum.
[01:14:21]  I don't say that.
[01:14:22]  That change isn't.
[01:14:23]  He has fucking ruined it for me.
[01:14:25]  That's a fact.
[01:14:26]  Children walk in your cum.
[01:14:28]  You guys are damn near sex offenders.
[01:14:29]  I mean, that's the clip.
[01:14:35]  And children sleep in your cup.
[01:14:37]  Wait a minute.
[01:14:38]  That's not.
[01:14:38]  Hold on a second.
[01:14:39]  They bundle up, they get tucked in in your comfort zone.
[01:14:41]  They washed a comforter, man.
[01:14:43]  Now they know.
[01:14:44]  Dude, how many times have you been seeing a maid pushing a stack full of comforters?
[01:14:48]  So, what you're telling me is the comforter that I get in the hotel room has not been washed.
[01:14:52]  A lot of times, I don't know if you've noticed they gotten rid of the actual like old school comforters.
[01:14:57]  Sheets are clean.
[01:14:57]  That's right.
[01:14:58]  Yeah.
[01:15:00]  What do you mean they've gotten rid of the what's that?
[01:15:01]  He's still there's no comfort.
[01:15:02]  He's not coming in.
[01:15:03]  He's not like, oh, this is a cover comfort.
[01:15:05]  They're covered in sheets now.
[01:15:06]  They're covered in like blankets.
[01:15:07]  It's more like a duvet.
[01:15:08]  It's a duvet.
[01:15:09]  Yeah.
[01:15:09]  No, I don't.
[01:15:10]  He's coming on the sheet.
[01:15:11]  I don't think.
[01:15:11]  Listen, I'm not condoning it.
[01:15:13]  I just learned how to speak dirtbag.
[01:15:15]  I don't think they watched a duvet every person.
[01:15:18]  Well, that's on them.
[01:15:19]  Well, that's on them.
[01:15:20]  I got a thing.
[01:15:22]  Do you tip the chambermaid?
[01:15:23]  And if so, how much?
[01:15:24]  I do.
[01:15:28]  Yeah, it could be.
[01:15:31]  Should have him in a fucking dick.
[01:15:33]  What the fuck?
[01:15:35]  I guess we're hanging out with cool fucking hip guys.
[01:15:37]  Yeah, bro.
[01:15:38]  Talking about consenting adults.
[01:15:43]  That comforter knew what she was getting into.
[01:15:46]  That comforter's over 18.
[01:15:47]  I'll tell you nothing.
[01:15:49]  Stop with that.
[01:15:50]  I'm just saying.
[01:15:51]  I never thought about that.
[01:15:52]  Thank you.
[01:15:53]  Think about it.
[01:15:54]  All right.
[01:15:55]  Kids and 40-year-old Indians sleep in these hotels.
[01:15:58]  But you can't even have sex in a hotel bed.
[01:16:00]  You know what I mean?
[01:16:01]  No, you have sex in a hotel bed.
[01:16:03]  But don't come in the hotel.
[01:16:04]  Don't pull out and then grab a comforter.
[01:16:06]  Man, that's a double standard.
[01:16:07]  I see his points.
[01:16:08]  Now you have sex in the house.
[01:16:09]  I come in my hands.
[01:16:11]  I come in my wife.
[01:16:12]  Hey, good for you, dog.
[01:16:15]  It's even ruder.
[01:16:19]  You can't pull it.
[01:16:20]  All right.
[01:16:20]  What were we talking about before?
[01:16:21]  Do you tip?
[01:16:22]  Do you tip a hotel?
[01:16:23]  How much?
[01:16:24]  The chambermaid.
[01:16:24]  That's not the proper norm.
[01:16:27]  I've never turned someone to chamberma.
[01:16:28]  Yeah, it's a little old school.
[01:16:31]  I'm an old school guy.
[01:16:32]  Hotel cleaning.
[01:16:33]  I try to do at least 10 a day.
[01:16:34]  10 a day is good.
[01:16:36]  What are you doing?
[01:16:37]  I didn't do that before.
[01:16:38]  I just learned that.
[01:16:39]  You're coming on the floor and you ain't leaving a car.
[01:16:41]  I didn't know where you were.
[01:16:43]  That's crazy.
[01:16:44]  This guy tells me all the time I'm a bad translation.
[01:16:48]  He's at least leaving a Finski.
[01:16:49]  It's because I never see the person, so I didn't never thought to tip him.
[01:16:53]  Now I'm going to start doing it.
[01:16:54]  I stick the dollar bill to Alex's cum on the wall.
[01:16:59]  Honey more acting from you.
[01:17:02]  Call me.
[01:17:04]  Yeah, I would just tip the guy that brings your bags up, but I'd never.
[01:17:06]  You're hanging up.
[01:17:08]  You let them, damn.
[01:17:09]  Your whole life.
[01:17:10]  I didn't realize that.
[01:17:11]  Now I'm going to get a lot of money.
[01:17:12]  I don't let people touch my bags.
[01:17:14]  Why?
[01:17:15]  What?
[01:17:15]  I mean, the hotels we're staying at aren't offering fucking bell hop service.
[01:17:19]  Yeah, of course.
[01:17:19]  But you go somewhere with your wife, nice place.
[01:17:23]  Yeah, I guess maybe.
[01:17:24]  Yeah.
[01:17:25]  I mean, look at me, dude.
[01:17:26]  I need them to take the bags.
[01:17:28]  Please grab the bags.
[01:17:29]  I love that.
[01:17:30]  For God's sakes.
[01:17:30]  I don't want to embarrass myself hugging this shit out of the 50, out of the trunk.
[01:17:34]  Throw it on a cart just magically appears up there.
[01:17:37]  That's the best.
[01:17:39]  I throw five for that.
[01:17:40]  What do you do for that?
[01:17:41]  Five.
[01:17:41]  No, I'd use 20.
[01:17:42]  I've got 20 for that.
[01:17:43]  20 for that.
[01:17:43]  That's 20.
[01:17:44]  My new thing is 20 for everything.
[01:17:46]  I got enough cash.
[01:17:47]  I'm trying.
[01:17:48]  I've been broke.
[01:17:49]  I've been broke most of my adult life.
[01:17:52]  Yeah.
[01:17:52]  And now I can finally tip.
[01:17:54]  Well, 20s.
[01:17:55]  I gave 20 to Kochek at a bungalow, actually a good Indian restaurant in New York.
[01:17:59]  But I was like, as I was giving it, I was like, this seems like Kocheck's on, dude.
[01:18:04]  This seems like 20s.
[01:18:05]  It was all I had.
[01:18:06]  It was that or nothing.
[01:18:07]  Oh, okay.
[01:18:08]  So, but I was like, no, then you got to bite the bullet.
[01:18:10]  And then I remember being like, should I do 20 for everything?
[01:18:12]  And I was like, I can't.
[01:18:13]  That's too much 20 for everything.
[01:18:14]  Because then you're harboring resentment.
[01:18:16]  You know what I mean?
[01:18:16]  Yeah.
[01:18:17]  You got to come off and I feel good about it.
[01:18:20]  I've worked a lot of jobs based on tips, fucking valet or whatever.
[01:18:24]  And it's like, that is such a moment of joy in their head when they go back to the thing and be like, hey, that bold guy gave me 40 bucks or 20 bucks or whatever.
[01:18:34]  How much is it supposed to tip the cleaning person?
[01:18:36]  Well, we were talking to Tim Dylan about this, and Tim's like, I'll only give it to them.
[01:18:40]  He's like, the people will steal it out of the room.
[01:18:43]  Like other people, like if like it might not be the maiden, people go up and check to make sure the room's clean.
[01:18:48]  Like other people in the staff might take the money.
[01:18:51]  So he goes, I'll give it to Ross.
[01:18:52]  I gave 20 to a cleaning lady in Arizona and she was so fucking so happy that I was like, you should just.
[01:18:58]  But what if you don't see it?
[01:18:59]  You can also.
[01:18:59]  I still leave it.
[01:19:00]  I put that in the, it's like the seat back.
[01:19:02]  Hey, if somebody steals it, that's on them.
[01:19:04]  They're, you know, they're getting daily or just when you leave?
[01:19:07]  Just when I leave.
[01:19:08]  He does it daily.
[01:19:09]  No, I don't do it.
[01:19:10]  No, he doesn't when he leaves you.
[01:19:12]  But if I see him, I'll try to remember just like give him money now.
[01:19:14]  Oh, you don't have people come in the room when you're in there to turn it over.
[01:19:17]  I don't allow that.
[01:19:18]  Never.
[01:19:18]  Never.
[01:19:19]  White people are not okay with it.
[01:19:20]  They love the do not disturb and they just leave it.
[01:19:22]  Wow, that goes right.
[01:19:23]  I don't think you're doing my shit.
[01:19:24]  No.
[01:19:25]  I love coming back to a clean room.
[01:19:27]  Wait, you're coming on the floor and then letting people just walk in there while you're still going to clean it.
[01:19:33]  He's a fucking monster.
[01:19:34]  My money's going right to your head.
[01:19:36]  I mean it.
[01:19:37]  These guys are the worst person I've been.
[01:19:38]  I've stopped.
[01:19:39]  I've learned.
[01:19:39]  That's crazy.
[01:19:41]  Yeah.
[01:19:42]  It makes it less cozy.
[01:19:43]  I like it being, you know, I like getting my feeling lived in.
[01:19:46]  Yeah.
[01:19:47]  This is a, and I'm not saying no minority, but it's more of a white person thing.
[01:19:51]  You like more lived in you like shoes broken in.
[01:19:55]  We like new shoes.
[01:19:56]  Hotel rooms that feel lived in.
[01:19:58]  We like walking into a hotel that don't feel live.
[01:20:00]  They're broken in.
[01:20:01]  Yeah.
[01:20:04]  I was trying to think of the counterpoint for the shoes broken in, but I'm like, damn, I do like a nice set of fucking loosey-goosey shoes.
[01:20:13]  Yeah, that's an interesting thing.
[01:20:14]  Yeah.
[01:20:14]  Yeah.
[01:20:15]  I like to fucking rip the sheet off.
[01:20:17]  Oh, that's my favorite.
[01:20:19]  That's not every single night.
[01:20:20]  That's how I know.
[01:20:21]  But that's why I was under the illusion I was walking into a clean place.
[01:20:24]  Now I talk to you guys, I realize there's calm all over this place.
[01:20:27]  But before I'd be like, oh, this was just, somebody just cleaned this.
[01:20:30]  It's so wonderful.
[01:20:30]  It is nice.
[01:20:32]  If it happens, I'm not like upset.
[01:20:33]  I'm like, oh, it is a nice.
[01:20:34]  But like, also, our stays, we're typically, we're doing like one night.
[01:20:38]  We're in and out.
[01:20:38]  We're moving and we're, you know, we're running and guns.
[01:20:40]  You got the tour bus situation?
[01:20:41]  How's that work?
[01:20:42]  Not any, we have.
[01:20:43]  It's very expensive.
[01:20:44]  And fun though.
[01:20:45]  It's fun.
[01:20:46]  Yeah, it's a good time.
[01:20:47]  You feel like a fucking pushing the couch.
[01:20:49]  You feel like a band that got back together for a reunion tour because we're like 40 and 50.
[01:20:54]  And we're all like shit.
[01:20:55]  One more time, brother.
[01:20:55]  One more time.
[01:20:56]  We're all like sharing.
[01:20:57]  We're all winning shit.
[01:20:59]  I'm hooked up an IV drip in the back.
[01:21:01]  But it's a good time.
[01:21:02]  That's one thing we do.
[01:21:03]  I mean, you guys, you know, you guys travel as a crew.
[01:21:04]  You travel with your same fucking crew.
[01:21:05]  It's like, to be able to do it with your boys is fucking awesome.
[01:21:09]  You know, and it's like, that's the coolest part.
[01:21:12]  It's like an apartment, like a traveling apartment.
[01:21:14]  Yeah.
[01:21:14]  Yeah.
[01:21:14]  The tour of us is the crew.
[01:21:15]  You're just hanging out.
[01:21:16]  That seems awesome.
[01:21:17]  Did you guys have a bathroom policy on the tour bus?
[01:21:19]  Yeah, no shit on the bus, obviously.
[01:21:21]  I mean, that's like the driver.
[01:21:22]  And like, the driver was a pretty mean man, so nobody crossed him.
[01:21:26]  And we made a pretty strong advisory announcement: like, listen, don't drink the water on the bus.
[01:21:33]  And one of our DP used it to brush his teeth and then got dysentery.
[01:21:41]  Wow.
[01:21:42]  Stuck in LA for like a little bit.
[01:21:43]  Dysentery.
[01:21:44]  And was holed up in a hotel in LA for about a week.
[01:21:47]  What the?
[01:21:48]  I wouldn't want to clean that room.
[01:21:52]  He's good now.
[01:21:53]  Yeah, it took him like two weeks to bounce back.
[01:21:56]  So that's crazy.
[01:21:57]  He's looking and shit.
[01:21:58]  I wouldn't think it would be that big of a military.
[01:22:00]  That's an organ trailer.
[01:22:01]  Don't you drink the water and brush your teeth.
[01:22:03]  That's either what?
[01:22:04]  Which is crossed the line.
[01:22:05]  It doesn't matter what it is.
[01:22:08]  When I go to India, I use bottled water to brush my teeth.
[01:22:10]  That's what we were all doing.
[01:22:11]  And he got it on the last day.
[01:22:12]  But every time I'm like, am I being a bitch with this?
[01:22:14]  Like, it's just brushing.
[01:22:16]  No, you're not.
[01:22:17]  Yeah.
[01:22:17]  I wouldn't even shower.
[01:22:19]  Yeah.
[01:22:20]  Because I'm trying to fit it.
[01:22:24]  Okay.
[01:22:24]  Seattle and Portland.
[01:22:26]  I've been wanting to ask you this for months.
[01:22:29]  Okay.
[01:22:31]  I don't know if you've got it coming.
[01:22:32]  Getting ready for some racist bullshit.
[01:22:34]  Here we go.
[01:22:35]  Here we go.
[01:22:37]  I'm like, all right, this is crazy because I don't know what it is.
[01:22:39]  So that means it hasn't made it out of his head yet.
[01:22:42]  Like, typically, he bounces stuff off the team, and we're like, yeah, that's insane.
[01:22:45]  Showtime.
[01:22:46]  This hasn't been out in the world yet.
[01:22:48]  It's months, not years.
[01:22:49]  So I'm curious because years would be, why don't you shower?
[01:22:51]  I thought about who can I ask and have a conversation about what is going on in this.
[01:22:55]  All right, I will do my best.
[01:22:58]  You guys aware of the street vendor situation in India?
[01:23:02]  Yeah.
[01:23:03]  Not great.
[01:23:04]  There's one guy who sits with his legs crossed in a little thing.
[01:23:07]  Watermelon.
[01:23:08]  And cranks out soup.
[01:23:10]  You guys have not seen this guy?
[01:23:11]  I think he's kind of famous.
[01:23:13]  He's cross-legged and he's cranking out something.
[01:23:16]  There's a guy behind them handing him papa duns or something like that back there.
[01:23:19]  And the sanitary situation is pretty wild.
[01:23:24]  And I thought maybe he was like some kind of famous chef or something like that.
[01:23:28]  If you knew who it was, he's asking if you and an Indian guy without good hygiene crosses.
[01:23:34]  These are the bullet points he's giving.
[01:23:36]  I think he's asking what he's asking, what the fuck is that?
[01:23:39]  Yes.
[01:23:41]  Also, do you know him?
[01:23:42]  And are people just that just normal people?
[01:23:43]  That's my boy right there.
[01:23:44]  Explain to me what's going on.
[01:23:46]  I talk.
[01:23:48]  That's my AI image.
[01:23:51]  That guy's not famous?
[01:23:52]  No.
[01:23:53]  There are a lot of people that show up at his spot.
[01:23:55]  Like they're now closing.
[01:23:56]  Like he's like a local.
[01:23:57]  Okay.
[01:23:58]  But they just.
[01:23:59]  What the fuck is going on there, man?
[01:24:01]  They're just vibing.
[01:24:01]  You're worried about me coming in the sheets.
[01:24:03]  I don't eat that food.
[01:24:05]  I'm just saying.
[01:24:06]  Yeah, you're wasting it.
[01:24:07]  Could be a nice chutting it.
[01:24:10]  No, would that make me sick, you think?
[01:24:11]  Yes.
[01:24:12]  What?
[01:24:13]  You would lose some weight, though.
[01:24:14]  Two weeks.
[01:24:15]  Indiano's empty.
[01:24:16]  He'd look a man after that.
[01:24:17]  Now, Indians have their stomachs are buildup.
[01:24:20]  The stomachs are steal.
[01:24:22]  They don't get sick when they travel.
[01:24:23]  It just doesn't happen.
[01:24:24]  But the towel is kind of nice because he's covering his feet.
[01:24:26]  It's actually more sanitary.
[01:24:27]  You see that?
[01:24:28]  Sure.
[01:24:29]  Shut that down.
[01:24:30]  I've actually seen.
[01:24:31]  I'm being honest.
[01:24:32]  I've seen much gross stuff.
[01:24:33]  I'm not trying to get a reservation at that point.
[01:24:35]  There's a couple of fruit flies in the back.
[01:24:36]  We might want to.
[01:24:38]  This doesn't seem that bad.
[01:24:38]  I would actually eat this.
[01:24:39]  What are you?
[01:24:40]  I've seen this is not the least.
[01:24:42]  I got to see that.
[01:24:42]  I got to see the, I got to see the reverse angle of this.
[01:24:44]  What's what's a what's it done in Chipotle so far?
[01:24:47]  Yeah, no.
[01:24:48]  I mean, yeah, I can see it's covered, but there's much more gross shit.
[01:24:52]  I don't think that was.
[01:24:53]  We can't go to India and eat street food.
[01:24:55]  And I know someone who would try to do it, and she would get sick every time I went to the hospital once.
[01:24:59]  Just to like try to be like part.
[01:25:01]  Yeah, I'm doing it.

=== Gross Fruit Flies in Back (13:25) ===

[01:25:02]  We can't.
[01:25:03]  We can't.
[01:25:03]  Is there a concertive effort going on?
[01:25:06]  Like, you know, tighten that up a little bit.
[01:25:08]  It's 1.4.
[01:25:10]  Can you, the best explanation I can give, India, when it got freedom and Britain had, I'm not trying to make them, but they took everything basically.
[01:25:18]  When they got their independence, they had 400 million people.
[01:25:20]  They got more than we have now.
[01:25:22]  Okay.
[01:25:22]  Then it was 1.4 billion people and it's one-third of the land.
[01:25:26]  So there's no like, you can't regulate.
[01:25:27]  This is a bunch of people trying to live.
[01:25:29]  And there's no infrastructure built in where it's like, there's, I don't know where the closest sink is to this guy.
[01:25:33]  I got you.
[01:25:34]  Where the closest plumbing is to this guy.
[01:25:35]  Listen, I'm not making this political statement.
[01:25:37]  I'm just a couple of Lysol wipes.
[01:25:41]  Terry Lake takes.
[01:25:43]  I don't think they got Lysol wipes accessible for this guy.
[01:25:45]  That's funny.
[01:25:46]  Man.
[01:25:47]  That's the best, but I won't fuck with this food.
[01:25:49]  If there's one place I'll go to that serves street food that isn't.
[01:25:51]  He's already doing this guy.
[01:25:54]  Under the pit.
[01:25:55]  So this one, I probably wouldn't eat.
[01:25:57]  What are you talking about?
[01:25:58]  You're going to blame Britain for that?
[01:26:02]  I've never seen a British guy do that.
[01:26:05]  That's how he seasons it.
[01:26:06]  It's a little old spice.
[01:26:07]  That's crazy.
[01:26:08]  That's crazy.
[01:26:08]  Son, he got one arm because the water got so many chemicals in it.
[01:26:11]  He had to lose his arm.
[01:26:12]  What can we do?
[01:26:13]  We got to make it work somehow.
[01:26:14]  We got to make a living.
[01:26:15]  No, that guy just shouldn't be a cook then.
[01:26:18]  What is the guy at the end?
[01:26:19]  But there's got to be a job, but he's better versed in than armpit fucking or whatever it is.
[01:26:25]  He's a bad businessman.
[01:26:26]  Dame Bash should be proud of this guy.
[01:26:27]  Crossing over or something?
[01:26:28]  Sure.
[01:26:29]  No, I'll give you that.
[01:26:30]  That's nuts.
[01:26:31]  Yeah.
[01:26:31]  That is nuts.
[01:26:34]  Nah, I wouldn't.
[01:26:36]  There's an Indian restaurant across from me, and they are pretty.
[01:26:38]  They stay with the C.
[01:26:40]  They stay with the C.
[01:26:41]  And I'm just rocking it.
[01:26:42]  I don't care.
[01:26:44]  Me and my wife eat it weekly.
[01:26:45]  And they like no other place in New York.
[01:26:48]  Well, I walk in and take a C, but the place is right across from me.
[01:26:52]  I'm in there, and I'm just like, it is what it is.
[01:26:55]  Cook comes out shoeless and he squats down and just cranks heaters and then like walks right in and just get and I'm like, I'm okay with it.
[01:27:04]  It's good food.
[01:27:04]  And I'm also let's do it.
[01:27:06]  I'm also, that's not saying that's indicative of the, you know, of the whole culinary institution.
[01:27:11]  It's for sure.
[01:27:16]  Listen, I'm in all the way.
[01:27:18]  Anywhere near.
[01:27:19]  Don't try to backpedal and be like, I'm not trying to be.
[01:27:22]  I'm not backpedaling at all.
[01:27:24]  I'm not saying that's like a nice Indian restaurant over here because the guy's in the back with his legs crossed.
[01:27:28]  Yeah, you can't.
[01:27:29]  There's no regulations.
[01:27:30]  There's no food inspectors for this fucking actor.
[01:27:32]  It's not authentic in America.
[01:27:33]  Who buys that food?
[01:27:34]  I'm saying a C in New York would be more authentic in America.
[01:27:37]  That would be an authentic and inexperienced.
[01:27:39]  And also, I'm an advocate because I'm going, it's got to be good, right?
[01:27:43]  You know, that's got to be as real as you can get in New York is a C. That's as close as you're going to get to the one-armed man.
[01:27:49]  You know what I mean?
[01:27:51]  Can we say the name of the place?
[01:27:52]  I mean, the C is out there.
[01:27:53]  Like, it's nothing.
[01:27:54]  No, don't say it.
[01:27:55]  Yeah, I don't want to say it.
[01:27:56]  What?
[01:27:57]  The C is on the window.
[01:27:59]  Yeah, but they hide it with a bunch of it.
[01:28:00]  They live in a plane.
[01:28:01]  They wrote Chai next to it.
[01:28:05]  For you after 2 p.m.
[01:28:07]  Yeah, no, I don't want to air.
[01:28:08]  I don't want to air.
[01:28:09]  I'm trying to get y'all set up at Bungalow.
[01:28:10]  It's actually good.
[01:28:11]  I finally found it.
[01:28:11]  I love Indians.
[01:28:13]  I'm not trying to display.
[01:28:14]  No, they.
[01:28:15]  Yeah, yeah.
[01:28:15]  Yeah, but then like we can't, we're not good at that when people like try to do stuff for us because we're not good in nice places together.
[01:28:22]  Why?
[01:28:22]  Who's didn't do this is how stupid we are.
[01:28:24]  I went to like a real nice restaurant we were in LA because our producer, New Guy Luke, is like a rich kid and his girlfriend's a rich kid.
[01:28:31]  So like that, she's from out there.
[01:28:32]  So they lined us up with like restaurants.
[01:28:35]  And we went in.
[01:28:36]  We're at Frankie and Vinny's or something.
[01:28:37]  No, no, it was the other.
[01:28:38]  It was the other place.
[01:28:39]  And behind us was Cindy Crawford.
[01:28:43]  Oh, how's she looking?
[01:28:45]  This is, I'm so, I was so drunk, and I was, I literally walked to the bathroom.
[01:28:49]  We didn't recognize it.
[01:28:49]  Was there?
[01:28:50]  And in my head, I went, that's a good-looking older bro.
[01:28:52]  It was only me.
[01:28:53]  That's how drunk I was.
[01:28:54]  It was only me and New Guy Luke that were looking at them.
[01:28:56]  Those guys were sitting with their backs back to them.
[01:28:58]  And it was her husband, what's his name?
[01:29:00]  Randy Goldberg?
[01:29:01]  The guy, no, the guy who owns, he's Corney's boy.
[01:29:04]  He owns the yeah, he owns Consumingos.
[01:29:08]  I don't like the guy.
[01:29:09]  I don't know him.
[01:29:09]  I just have a thing with him.
[01:29:10]  I'm sure he's a great guy.
[01:29:12]  He doesn't like the ads where him and Clooney are riding motorcycles because he wants to ride a motorcycle.
[01:29:16]  I don't like the whole concept of Randy Gerber.
[01:29:19]  And then Kaya Gerber, who's like a, she looks like her mom.
[01:29:22]  She's hot.
[01:29:23]  Yeah.
[01:29:23]  And then the fucking huge restaurateur, probably the coolest guy in Austin Butler.
[01:29:27]  We got a thing with him.
[01:29:27]  Austin Austin.
[01:29:28]  Also hot.
[01:29:29]  I saw that.
[01:29:29]  I got a table behind us and we ruined their dinner.
[01:29:33]  I'm pretty sure.
[01:29:34]  I saw Austin Butler in a coffee shop here.
[01:29:36]  Great looking guy.
[01:29:37]  Unbelievable.
[01:29:39]  It's crazy.
[01:29:39]  The thing I noticed about it is his arm was sticking out of his shirt.
[01:29:43]  The skin on the guy looked like it was angelic.
[01:29:46]  That's a good looking dude.
[01:29:48]  Fantastic.
[01:29:48]  How did you ruin their dinner?
[01:29:50]  I mean, we were just being drunk.
[01:29:51]  I mean, we only had dessert.
[01:29:54]  Listen.
[01:29:55]  Because we were fucking drunk at elbow and it was a real tight spot.
[01:29:58]  It's a tight spot.
[01:30:01]  He's a bigger guy or has to be a guy.
[01:30:04]  When he sits down, that table's got an even clump.
[01:30:08]  Austin Butler is at a table and it's getting moved.
[01:30:11]  So it's like the table's going to be.
[01:30:12]  Move the couch.
[01:30:13]  So Austin Butler.
[01:30:14]  We're going to end up in the fucking bathroom if we keep going.
[01:30:17]  Austin Butler, have you seen his IG?
[01:30:18]  He's this guy's so into fitness right now.
[01:30:20]  He's fucking yoked out of the stop doing all this work and then he's just getting moved out of his spot by who's eating some of those epic in the nuggets.
[01:30:31]  They called the restaurant so they were bringing a pregnant lady.
[01:30:32]  Wait, I don't want to bring that up.
[01:30:34]  We did say we did say a pregnant lady was tight.
[01:30:38]  That's why we take over Ruby Rosa.
[01:30:39]  It's a tight spot.
[01:30:40]  I ain't never been there.
[01:30:41]  I don't want to stand out and look at the window every day.
[01:30:43]  You get a takeout takeout.
[01:30:45]  Like you called the head.
[01:30:46]  I wanted to have a full restaurant.
[01:30:48]  New guy Luke.
[01:30:50]  And said, hey, listen, you know, we're this party of four or part of whatever it was.
[01:30:54]  You know, there's a woman's party of three and you said, was it a party of four?
[01:30:58]  And I mean, we say woman's doing a spot.
[01:31:00]  Yeah, we do that anyway.
[01:31:01]  We like to stretch.
[01:31:02]  We're a bigger team.
[01:31:03]  We're a bigger crew.
[01:31:04]  You know what I mean?
[01:31:07]  Wait, have you lost weight?
[01:31:08]  I have.
[01:31:09]  I'm shooting.
[01:31:09]  I'm on drilling.
[01:31:11]  He's on Manjaro.
[01:31:12]  Manjaro.
[01:31:13]  Yeah.
[01:31:13]  I'm bootlegged, though.
[01:31:17]  Yeah.
[01:31:17]  We got a roll.
[01:31:18]  Listen, we roll, you know, that's what we do.
[01:31:20]  We look out for that.
[01:31:22]  Who came up with that?
[01:31:22]  Luke.
[01:31:23]  Luke did it and didn't know, and then we didn't know, and then he told me because he gets squirrely sometimes when we're walking into certain places.
[01:31:32]  Yeah, yeah, who's sitting next to who?
[01:31:34]  That's a rough thing.
[01:31:35]  Yeah, no, it's a rough thing.
[01:31:36]  When he first got the job, he's, you know, he's tall, he's thin.
[01:31:38]  We got to know each other a little bit, but still a little nervous.
[01:31:42]  And we were like outside or something like that, and it was really cold.
[01:31:44]  And he came up to me like very earnest.
[01:31:46]  He was like, Do you experience the cold like normal people?
[01:31:56]  You're an alien.
[01:31:57]  Normal people spot crazy.
[01:32:01]  Crazy.
[01:32:02]  Do you feel love like me?
[01:32:03]  It's going to be God.
[01:32:06]  Oh my God, dude.
[01:32:07]  Yeah.
[01:32:08]  It's kind of romantic.
[01:32:09]  We have a great game for you guys.
[01:32:10]  Okay.
[01:32:11]  Yeah, this is the last.
[01:32:12]  This is the garbage game we need you guys to make.
[01:32:14]  I love it.
[01:32:14]  Okay, so this is.
[01:32:16]  I don't drink, but you guys drink, and I assume you don't need the fanciest beer.
[01:32:22]  No.
[01:32:22]  What is like a good garbage beer?
[01:32:24]  Garage beer.
[01:32:25]  Big fan.
[01:32:26]  Shout out the garage beer.
[01:32:27]  Oh, it's you guys.
[01:32:28]  Is that your beer?
[01:32:29]  No, it's not.
[01:32:30]  It's the Kelsey Brothers.
[01:32:31]  I don't know.
[01:32:33]  But we have a garbage beer taste test for you.
[01:32:36]  I might be pretty good at this.
[01:32:38]  Can you guess the garbage beer?
[01:32:40]  Now we're going to have to like suck a dick or something.
[01:32:41]  No, This is beer.
[01:32:43]  It's actual beer.
[01:32:44]  It's garbage.
[01:32:44]  Now it's warm.
[01:32:45]  It's warm.
[01:32:45]  It's warm beer.
[01:32:46]  They're all going to taste the star.
[01:32:47]  But that feels more garbage.
[01:32:48]  That feels more in spirit of the show.
[01:32:51]  So we're going to have to get the straws through here.
[01:32:53]  And it might look a little goofy.
[01:32:55]  This is the only way we can get you to not know what it is.
[01:32:57]  I'll close my eyes.
[01:32:58]  I'll be honest.
[01:33:00]  Dude, there's no, it's warm through a straw.
[01:33:02]  There's no way anybody can see some might be different containers.
[01:33:05]  We're not bending over and sucking out of a shit.
[01:33:07]  What do you put in cups?
[01:33:08]  What do you put in cups?
[01:33:10]  All right, let's go get cups.
[01:33:13]  Man, also, it's warm.
[01:33:17]  We try, guys.
[01:33:18]  We try.
[01:33:18]  No, I get it.
[01:33:19]  I'm just, I mean, well, I'll do it through the straw.
[01:33:21]  No, no, we'll do it.
[01:33:22]  We'll do it in cups.
[01:33:22]  Yeah, yeah.
[01:33:23]  Yeah.
[01:33:23]  We try.
[01:33:24]  We try.
[01:33:24]  I mean, that is the internet thing, though, to do it like that.
[01:33:27]  And that's fine.
[01:33:28]  You can't, but if you can't.
[01:33:29]  We can do the thumbnail.
[01:33:33]  Miles, hit me.
[01:33:36]  We should actually get started together.
[01:33:39]  Miles is hitting you.
[01:33:40]  Don't worry.
[01:33:40]  You got it.
[01:33:43]  Okay.
[01:33:43]  Amazon basics.
[01:33:44]  Look at that.
[01:33:45]  Shouts.
[01:33:45]  Shouts to Bezos.
[01:33:46]  All right, so I'm going to take a little break and then we're going to do this game.
[01:33:50]  We should let them know the four or the five beards there.
[01:33:52]  Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
[01:33:53]  Okay.
[01:33:54]  Okay.
[01:33:54]  Is that how it works?
[01:33:55]  I thought you just had the gift.
[01:33:56]  No, because there's so many light beers in the world.
[01:33:59]  Okay.
[01:33:59]  Wow, that's good.
[01:34:00]  That's good thinking, man.
[01:34:01]  Okay.
[01:34:01]  So, what are the beers, Miles?
[01:34:03]  Can you name it?
[01:34:03]  Do you guys just have cups like that?
[01:34:05]  And then don't name them left or right.
[01:34:07]  You just have bills in her glasses right now.
[01:34:08]  We have flutes, baby.
[01:34:10]  Okay.
[01:34:11]  I'm going to pitch them to you.
[01:34:12]  Okay.
[01:34:13]  Coor's light.
[01:34:15]  Okay.
[01:34:15]  So the beers are Coors Light.
[01:34:17]  Yeah.
[01:34:17]  Mikalob Ultra.
[01:34:18]  It's going to be a tough one for me.
[01:34:19]  I just got into them this summer.
[01:34:21]  Pacifica.
[01:34:21]  Should be easy.
[01:34:22]  Old English.
[01:34:24]  Really don't need it, but in case my crew want to get drunk, sure.
[01:34:27]  Bud Light.
[01:34:28]  Okay.
[01:34:29]  I think I should be pretty good at this.
[01:34:31]  All right.
[01:34:31]  So here we go.
[01:34:31]  The Are You Garbage Cheap Beer Taste Test.
[01:34:34]  Again, we got Coors Pacifico, I guess it's called.
[01:34:37]  Bud Light.
[01:34:39]  Pacifica.
[01:34:40]  Yeah, you got it.
[01:34:41]  Okay.
[01:34:41]  Old English and Michelob Ultra.
[01:34:43]  Okay.
[01:34:43]  All right.
[01:34:44]  So this one is, I'll hand this to you guys first.
[01:34:47]  Thank you, sir.
[01:34:47]  Now, based off color, I mean, cheers.
[01:34:49]  Yeah.
[01:34:50]  Take a nice whiff.
[01:34:51]  Sir?
[01:34:52]  All right.
[01:34:53]  See, the problem is warm.
[01:34:57]  I feel like that's more garbage, though.
[01:34:59]  It's going to bring out the profile, I think.
[01:35:00]  Yeah.
[01:35:02]  What year?
[01:35:04]  I'm the warm, the because every beer gets warm and they start smelling it like it's you know sounding such a fucking game You're like a white trash somalier.
[01:35:18]  You want one answer between the two of us?
[01:35:20]  We got to come to an agreement.
[01:35:21]  No, no, no.
[01:35:22]  I need to.
[01:35:22]  I need to.
[01:35:22]  Do I have to guess right now or can I play this against the other?
[01:35:24]  Pi, let me get the other.
[01:35:26]  Okay.
[01:35:27]  Is there anything that cleans the palate?
[01:35:28]  Like perhaps an amuz bouche or something?
[01:35:34]  Man.
[01:35:36]  This is now harder than I anticipated.
[01:35:37]  Yeah.
[01:35:38]  Hey, are you blaming the warmness?
[01:35:41]  No.
[01:35:42]  Genuinely harder than I anticipated.
[01:35:43]  I got to hit him a little quicker.
[01:35:48]  I got to get them next to each other.
[01:35:51]  Fuck.
[01:35:54]  Man.
[01:35:54]  The blue one's Bud Light.
[01:35:56]  Yeah.
[01:35:56]  Okay.
[01:35:57]  I was like, blue one?
[01:36:01]  This guy's fucked up already.
[01:36:03]  Damn.
[01:36:05]  I keep thinking everyone's the old E because it tastes so bad.
[01:36:08]  I know, because they've hit that point where they're not.
[01:36:11]  All right.
[01:36:13]  I don't know.
[01:36:14]  This is my last one.
[01:36:15]  This is one more.
[01:36:17]  There's one more.
[01:36:17]  Here, this is you.
[01:36:19]  All right.
[01:36:19]  I like this.
[01:36:21]  That's a little flight, right?
[01:36:22]  Okay.
[01:36:23]  When are you guys going to get all of these wrong?
[01:36:25]  Fuck.
[01:36:25]  Oh, dude, I think I'm way off.
[01:36:28]  God damn.
[01:36:29]  I'm going to have an old E sneaker.
[01:36:30]  That's holiday right there.
[01:36:32]  Which one?
[01:36:32]  This one.
[01:36:33]  Damn.
[01:36:33]  No doubt about it.
[01:36:34]  What?
[01:36:35]  What number?
[01:36:36]  Two.
[01:36:36]  Two?
[01:36:37]  Yeah.
[01:36:37]  No, not two.
[01:36:38]  I didn't put them in order.
[01:36:38]  I don't know which way I'm going to be able to do it.
[01:36:39]  No, it's all written on the scene.
[01:36:40]  I can be in a fucking freak out.
[01:36:43]  This guy gets a couple of spritzers and I'm all the student.
[01:36:45]  You're like, no, no, they ain't all.
[01:36:47]  It's on the fucking base, everybody.
[01:36:49]  You know, looking on.
[01:36:51]  Here.
[01:36:51]  Right here.
[01:36:52]  Right here.
[01:36:53]  So set up.
[01:36:55]  Can we grab these cameras?
[01:36:57]  All right.
[01:36:58]  So, two, you're saying this is old English.
[01:37:00]  Yeah.
[01:37:01]  Fuck, I don't remember which ones I drank now.
[01:37:02]  You mean the one you wanted to sip?
[01:37:04]  No, not that one.
[01:37:05]  That's old English for sure.
[01:37:07]  Two's old English.
[01:37:08]  Two's old English.
[01:37:09]  Yeah.
[01:37:11]  All right.
[01:37:12]  That's impressive.
[01:37:14]  I think one Pacifica.
[01:37:16]  You think one is Pacifica?
[01:37:18]  One is Pacifica, I think.
[01:37:20]  All right.
[01:37:20]  Hit us.
[01:37:21]  So, what are the numbers, guys?
[01:37:23]  Number one.
[01:37:24]  Number one.
[01:37:25]  What did you guys say?
[01:37:26]  I guess Pacifica.
[01:37:27]  Wait, before we do this, can I just say one thing?
[01:37:29]  I think that's the one that's wrong.
[01:37:30]  I just want to give a little pushback on Pacifica being a trashy beer.
[01:37:35]  Very good beer.
[01:37:35]  Okay.
[01:37:36]  I kind of agree.
[01:37:37]  Nice flame.
[01:37:37]  I think it was bad.
[01:37:38]  Ice cold Pacificas, a little tostones, something like that.
[01:37:41]  I know nothing, so I will defer to you.
[01:37:43]  Or maybe some samosis?
[01:37:44]  Yeah.
[01:37:48]  Thank you.
[01:37:48]  Let's go.
[01:37:49]  I'm in.
[01:37:51]  Okay.
[01:37:52]  Option number one.
[01:37:53]  That was good.
[01:37:54]  Coors light.
[01:37:56]  Fuck me.
[01:37:58]  Option number two.
[01:37:59]  You guys got it right.
[01:38:00]  It was old English.
[01:38:01]  Nice.
[01:38:02]  That was the only real giveaway.
[01:38:03]  Man, bad news.
[01:38:05]  Option number three.
[01:38:05]  What did you guys say three was?
[01:38:07]  I think we said Nicolobo.
[01:38:09]  Mick Ultra.
[01:38:10]  Number three is Bud Light.
[01:38:12]  We didn't get that right.
[01:38:13]  I think three things.
[01:38:15]  Follow me got it.
[01:38:16]  Okay, whatever.
[01:38:17]  You got that, though.
[01:38:17]  You don't have to team.
[01:38:19]  No, but you got that.
[01:38:19]  That's good.
[01:38:20]  Number four, Pacifico.
[01:38:23]  Got that wrong.
[01:38:24]  What did you say four was?
[01:38:26]  This is a fucking setup.
[01:38:27]  We're all full of shit.

=== Beer Options and Bud Light (01:27) ===

[01:38:28]  We're near this tank.
[01:38:29]  Who's this guy?
[01:38:30]  Anyway, comes in and six switches.
[01:38:32]  Every guy that comes in is cooler than the next.
[01:38:34]  What the fuck?
[01:38:34]  Fuck this guy.
[01:38:35]  You don't have to take this shit from a guy with rolled-up sleeves and cool tattoos.
[01:38:40]  I don't care if it's like a skateboard to work, all right?
[01:38:42]  Fucking bullshit.
[01:38:46]  At least you got the old English.
[01:38:48]  So we only got one, right?
[01:38:49]  Yeah.
[01:38:49]  Before they got the Bud Light, so I'll give y'all that.
[01:38:51]  I'll give y'all two.
[01:38:51]  And old English.
[01:38:52]  Damn.
[01:38:54]  I think y'all both knew your palette's gotta refine, dude.
[01:38:56]  I've been in the front of the plane all the time.
[01:38:57]  I'll tell you what, Joe, we got a little buzz going, so we're all winners.
[01:39:01]  You're the big ol' lunch.
[01:39:02]  We're all this into a liquid lunch, don't you?
[01:39:04]  You guys feel free to finish these if you want.
[01:39:06]  Holiday, I'll go get cold beer.
[01:39:08]  Gentleman, then go with the waiter.
[01:39:13]  All right, guys, it's always a pleasure.
[01:39:15]  We will love you before.
[01:39:16]  We lost anything you guys want to shout out.
[01:39:20]  We have the big tour coming up tomorrow.
[01:39:21]  We have a tour coming up, starting at the end of this month.
[01:39:24]  We're in the West Coast, San Francisco, Portland, Seattle, LA, all over.
[01:39:29]  Tickets are available at argumentgarbage.com.
[01:39:31]  And also, you guys did a very nice shout-out for our Route 66 tour.
[01:39:35]  Our special that we did is I guess comedy special/slash documentary.
[01:39:38]  I've also on the tour bus for two weeks doing Route 66.
[01:39:40]  So, check that out.
[01:39:41]  The show is a traditional startup show, and then we play Are You Garbage at the end of the show, which is crowds.
[01:39:45]  Great.
[01:39:45]  Love it.
[01:39:46]  Are yougarburgers.com?
[01:39:47]  Go to the patreon.com/slash are you garbage?
[01:39:49]  YouTube, everybody.
[01:39:50]  All the ups are there.
[01:39:51]  Yeah.
[01:39:52]  Thank you guys.
[01:39:52]  We love y'all.
[01:39:53]  Love you guys.
[01:39:53]  Thank you guys.
[01:39:54]  Thank you.
[01:39:55]  Peace.