Flagrant - Andrew Schulz & Akaash Singh - Shane Gillis & Steve Gerben get Catfished, Gay Jokes with the Boys, & Tires 2 Aired: 2025-06-04 Duration: 01:48:17 === Andy Elliott Takes Shirt Off (08:23) === [00:00:00] What's up everybody? [00:00:04] Welcome to the show. [00:00:05] Today we are joined by good friends, Netflix superstars. [00:00:10] Yeah, Steve Gerby. [00:00:11] Steve Girby and also Shane Gillis, of course. [00:00:13] But Steve Gurby, I think the world has noticed, just hit a sub-80 around on a golf course right now. [00:00:20] Wow. [00:00:21] And I'm not saying that like the acting superstar has gone to his head, but the sub-80, I think, might has changed some things. [00:00:27] I mean, he asked Alex to not be on the couch because of the color of his skin. [00:00:31] And then he requested that. [00:00:32] I did walk up to him on set just to say hi and try to give him a hug. [00:00:34] And he was like, not right now, Schultz. [00:00:36] And then he just walked away. [00:00:37] Excuse me. [00:00:38] Not even close. [00:00:39] Because he didn't like the way I was talking to you. [00:00:41] What do you mean? [00:00:42] I was being nice to you. [00:00:44] That was actually really funny. [00:00:48] Andrew's coming down. [00:00:49] You basically donate his time. [00:00:51] So I'm just like, you know, talking to him and like keeping the energy up. [00:00:54] And he's like, you want to fucking be on Flagrant. [00:01:01] He didn't even say that. [00:01:03] You want to be on Flagrant. [00:01:07] Jane just walks up. [00:01:08] He's kind of hulking. [00:01:09] He goes, stop it. [00:01:13] You should have seen him with Thomas Hayden Church on this season. [00:01:17] Just like agreeable. [00:01:19] You know, I would say that's the way that I would describe it. [00:01:21] And so, you know, you just kind of, you know, social grease and what have you. [00:01:24] You say, you know, you just kind of go along. [00:01:26] We'll say, hey, you just don't like it. [00:01:28] I don't know what to talk about. [00:01:29] So how are you doing, dude? [00:01:33] I did this with Latson. [00:01:35] Latzen Ibrahimovich. [00:01:36] Oh, yeah. [00:01:37] We met him in Abu Dhabi. [00:01:38] He's a soccer player, all-time legend, one of the greats. [00:01:41] And I just saw him, and it was like one of the few times I spazzed out seeing a famous person. [00:01:45] Yeah. [00:01:46] Like normally, I just avoid it, and then it just goes away. [00:01:48] But I couldn't help it. [00:01:50] I was like, I have to get a picture of his Latz. [00:01:51] I got that. [00:01:51] So I dapped him up and I was like, dude, I love you. [00:01:54] I think I said I love him to his Latzan. [00:01:56] And he was like, okay. [00:01:57] And then I took a selfie and then I never saw him again. [00:01:59] He just walked away. [00:01:59] It was awful. [00:02:00] It was terrible. [00:02:01] Hey, you got a selfie. [00:02:02] Yeah. [00:02:02] I was starstruck. [00:02:04] Caitlin Clark was at my show in Indiana. [00:02:07] And for some reason, I was like, oh, shit. [00:02:12] Every once in a while, somebody gets me that I didn't think was going to be. [00:02:15] There's a clip of you saying hi to Steph Curry and introducing yourself and him going, I know who you are. [00:02:20] Yeah, that was awesome. [00:02:21] That's insane. [00:02:22] I mean, that's fucking awesome. [00:02:23] Which was funny too, because it was me and Sam Jay. [00:02:25] You actually and the whole time I'm like sitting there, I'm like, fuck him. [00:02:30] I hate the Warriors. [00:02:31] Fuck the Warriors. [00:02:34] Draymond Green's a cocksocker. [00:02:35] Fuck him. [00:02:36] But our seat was right next to the bench and Draymond was sitting next to us. [00:02:40] And he was funny as fuck and he was the fucking man. [00:02:42] And I was like, damn, I was wrong about Draymond. [00:02:44] And then I'm like, fuck Steph Curry. [00:02:46] He's a fucking bitch. [00:02:46] Dude, fuck Seth Curry. [00:02:48] And then he looks over at Sam Jay because he knew Sam and he was like, what's up? [00:02:51] And immediately she and I were both like, dude, Seth Curry's a fucking awesome. [00:02:55] He's so awesome. [00:02:57] Even just as a fan, I rooted for him one time in the Olympics and I was like, oh, I get like all the stage fans of the world. [00:03:03] It's the most fun you can ever have. [00:03:05] Yeah. [00:03:06] That was back when I liked the Knicks. [00:03:07] Now that was last season. [00:03:09] Yeah. [00:03:10] Wait, why don't you like him? [00:03:10] You like him now? [00:03:11] Last year when they eliminated Philly. [00:03:14] You guys were in the playoffs last year? [00:03:16] Yeah. [00:03:16] Oh, wow. [00:03:18] Remember, it was one of those series you guys won and acted like you won the Super Bowl? [00:03:22] You won one series every single day. [00:03:25] I was trying to cheer for you guys. [00:03:27] You had such a good time. [00:03:29] It is tough, dude. [00:03:30] I want to. [00:03:30] We just get so over excited about it. [00:03:32] It was brutal. [00:03:34] We went to Indianapolis last night to watch the game and just wasted an inordinate amount of money thinking that we were going to win game six in Indiana. [00:03:42] That would have been awesome. [00:03:43] And it would have been so fucking awesome. [00:03:45] It would have been incredible. [00:03:46] And I have to say, first of all, I got food poisoning while I was there. [00:03:49] So I'm brutally sick. [00:03:51] So not only did we lose everything, I also haven't eaten anything since and it's been bad. [00:03:55] But what did you eat? [00:03:57] A fucking pretzel and I woke up this morning. [00:03:59] No way. [00:04:00] Dude, I have no clue. [00:04:01] Salad? [00:04:01] I have no clue. [00:04:02] I was just, they poisoned me. [00:04:04] Was it violet or diarrhea? [00:04:05] No, I mean, it was a little bit of diarrhea. [00:04:13] He's very clinical. [00:04:15] About everything. [00:04:15] Yeah, but that won't talk the same way about like pussy. [00:04:18] No, perform oral sex. [00:04:23] Oh, this is a performance. [00:04:24] Yeah. [00:04:25] What? [00:04:26] I ate this. [00:04:28] You did it. [00:04:29] You do enjoy that? [00:04:30] You do enjoy that. [00:04:31] But you have a girl, so now. [00:04:34] Right back in the day. [00:04:36] I don't like Gerbs terrified to you. [00:04:39] Back in the day. [00:04:40] There's no reason to be terrified. [00:04:42] Oh, yeah. [00:04:42] I'm the nice guy. [00:04:44] No, fuck you. [00:04:45] This is the scary one. [00:04:46] He's the main one. [00:04:48] I'm the nice guy. [00:04:49] Okay, okay. [00:04:50] 21 of y'all are nice. [00:04:53] Fuck is this, dude? [00:04:55] Lenny and Stalin. [00:04:58] Fucking call on. [00:05:06] I think like Lennon's last words were like, don't let Stalin take over. [00:05:11] Everyone was like, what are you saying? [00:05:12] Someone was like, nothing. [00:05:17] Okay, anyway, guys. [00:05:20] You are a dog, aren't you? [00:05:21] You're in New York, you're out of town, walking around on zip. [00:05:24] Lean, looks lean, dude. [00:05:25] Oh, yeah, you got jacked. [00:05:26] That's not very, yeah. [00:05:28] There's a shirtless pic of you. [00:05:30] I saw like a freeze frame in the media stuff. [00:05:33] What? [00:05:34] There's a you're you're you're shirtless. [00:05:36] Okay. [00:05:37] And you look at that. [00:05:38] You're like, oh, bro, that episode is so fucking funny. [00:05:43] Wait, why? [00:05:44] That was like my favorite thing of the entire season. [00:05:46] So there's an episode where he takes his shirt off. [00:05:49] We're doing like a salesman, you know, that Andy Elliott guy that's like, take a shirt off. [00:05:53] You got a fucking fat piece of shit. [00:05:55] Oh, yeah. [00:05:56] Which has a fat guy. [00:05:56] It's a fucking nightmare. [00:05:57] He terrifies me. [00:06:00] Yeah, yeah, yeah. [00:06:00] That was so funny. [00:06:02] He is funny. [00:06:03] Have you seen the guy who pranked him, by the way? [00:06:05] No. [00:06:05] You see the guy who called him, and he's, oh, fuck. [00:06:07] I'm pretty sure it's Andy Elliott. [00:06:08] I'm not sorry. [00:06:09] I don't want to derail the story. [00:06:10] He calls the guy. [00:06:11] I wish we could get it up, actually. [00:06:13] See if you can get up. [00:06:14] The guy calls him and he's calling to prank this Andy Elliott guy. [00:06:17] And he's like, I'm buying a package and the package is 20 grand. [00:06:19] And Andy Elliott calls him back or something like that. [00:06:21] He's like, dude, I want to buy it. [00:06:22] But like, my mom just fucking passed away and just this. [00:06:25] And Andy Elliott takes him on. [00:06:27] He's like, I'm here for your brother. [00:06:29] If you need a few minutes, just like let me know. [00:06:31] We could sign this thing up. [00:06:35] He's still closer. [00:06:37] All-time closer. [00:06:39] But we do like an episode where we're watching an Andy Elliott type salesman guy and he brings the Steve goes on stage and takes his shirt off. [00:06:49] And when we're talking about, like, when we're in the writer's room and before we filmed, Steve was like, I got to tell you, I've been working out, you're going to be pissed off. [00:06:59] Not going to like what you see. [00:07:01] You're not going to like what you see. [00:07:02] And then I'm sitting in the crowd while we're filming it. [00:07:04] And he takes his shirt off. [00:07:06] And he's all like shit. [00:07:11] It's not your fault. [00:07:11] It was not your fault. [00:07:13] I was not fault. [00:07:17] But also, I don't actually look on topless. [00:07:20] I have like a praying mantis body. [00:07:24] So it's very weird to look at. [00:07:26] Dude, we were like eating like cheese. [00:07:28] So funny. [00:07:29] Every day it was like chicken cheese steaks and french fries. [00:07:32] Audible gasp when you took his shirt off. [00:07:34] Yeah. [00:07:35] In the crowd, people were like, oh. [00:07:39] I had to leave the room. [00:07:41] I had to leave the scene. [00:07:42] I was like, I can't do it. [00:07:44] I laughed so hard. [00:07:44] It hurt. [00:07:45] It was so much. [00:07:47] Yeah, that was really good. [00:07:49] That's LA. [00:07:50] That's before you got jacked. [00:07:51] Yeah. [00:07:51] Oh, that's before. [00:07:52] That was season one. [00:07:52] That was pre-Holly. [00:07:53] You just stood lighting. [00:07:54] You got a nice vein going on the body. [00:07:56] Oh, thanks. [00:07:56] You were swimming. [00:07:58] Yeah. [00:07:59] Swimming in this. [00:08:04] Yo, what were you swimming in? [00:08:07] They were doing a race for you. [00:08:08] LA Girby's. [00:08:09] Are there a lot of LA Girbys out there? [00:08:10] No, no. [00:08:10] When he gets out to LA, dude, he's a problem. [00:08:13] I'm really realizing tires is not that exaggerated at all. [00:08:18] That's exactly what it is. [00:08:20] Rhiners are going to be dizzy all being like, let's have a conversation. === Vince Wears Tuxedo To Bath (15:11) === [00:08:23] That's the episode. [00:08:24] Every single person, like you play just an exaggerated version of you. [00:08:29] Tommy the exact same stav is stopped. [00:08:31] Oh, yeah. [00:08:32] Stop's 100% stopped. [00:08:35] Yeah. [00:08:36] Kyla is Kyla. [00:08:38] June 5th, by the way. [00:08:39] It's out June 5th. [00:08:40] Season 2. [00:08:41] Season 2. [00:08:42] It's 12 episodes. [00:08:43] What was the first season? [00:08:44] Six. [00:08:45] Six. [00:08:45] So they doubled up for second season, 12 episodes. [00:08:48] And let's run it up. [00:08:49] Let's get this number one. [00:08:50] Let's knock out whoever's in the spot. [00:08:52] Let's run it up. [00:08:53] Everybody watch, especially that first, June 5th. [00:08:56] Yeah. [00:08:56] So watch those figures. [00:08:57] I think he's going to be number one. [00:08:58] Yeah, I think. [00:08:58] Son, you guys took out Bridgerton last time. [00:09:00] That was crazy. [00:09:01] That was nice. [00:09:02] And that was crazy. [00:09:05] Shonda was looking at you, number one. [00:09:07] Who? [00:09:08] Shonda Rhymes. [00:09:08] Shonda Rimes. [00:09:10] Oh, she's done like 30 TV shows. [00:09:12] Yeah, okay, okay. [00:09:12] Yeah, yeah. [00:09:13] Yeah. [00:09:13] Yeah. [00:09:14] What were you going to say, though, Curry? [00:09:15] No, I was just going to say it was very like season one, especially was so cool because he, like, I don't know how much people know, but that he paid to have that entire shot made to shoot the entire thing. [00:09:26] Yeah. [00:09:27] Wow. [00:09:27] And, you know, that was when his star was sort of rising, and he should have like not done that. [00:09:33] You know, but I just knew you were a star. [00:09:36] No. [00:09:37] I knew from that. [00:09:38] He's like a Tom Cruise. [00:09:39] Please. [00:09:40] You know, you were the machine. [00:09:41] He's like the next Tom Cruise. [00:09:42] Yeah. [00:09:43] Stop. [00:09:44] I'm being serious, though. [00:09:46] Anyway, it's just all that he did. [00:09:50] Just take the compliment, Shane. [00:09:52] No, it was. [00:09:52] It's also McKeever that's all McKeever. [00:09:55] And Girby and Girby Bates. [00:09:56] Maybe it's all three of you guys. [00:09:58] True, but the work he does is McKeever is like, yeah. [00:10:02] I think you guys are all. [00:10:04] McKeever's absolutely amazing. [00:10:06] Like, woof, we filmed the season, and then I just forget about it. [00:10:10] I just go, like, all I did was act. [00:10:12] Yeah. [00:10:12] And then I'll like McKeever like you were very involved in scene. [00:10:18] Very involved in some of the stuff. [00:10:20] I called McKeever like two or three months later and I was like, what's up, dude? [00:10:23] What have you been up to? [00:10:24] I'm editing. [00:10:25] Everything I haven't left. [00:10:28] I was like, oh, shit. [00:10:29] You're still working on that? [00:10:30] Forgot about it. [00:10:31] Who is the craziest person in the season that you got to cameo? [00:10:34] And how did you ask them? [00:10:35] It was Vince Vaughn. [00:10:36] Yeah. [00:10:37] For sure. [00:10:37] And what was the ass? [00:10:38] Yeah, how did you know? [00:10:38] I met him a couple times, and he and I, I was in a movie that he was in that hasn't come out yet, but we got to know each other, and he's the coolest fucking guy ever. [00:10:47] Seems awesome. [00:10:48] He is Vince Vaughn, which is cool. [00:10:50] Like, I mean, he's like that all the time. [00:10:51] Dude, I watched Non-System Swingers, basically. [00:10:54] Yeah. [00:10:55] You know, the new movie? [00:10:56] He's not enough. [00:10:57] I watched it. [00:10:59] Dude, we went to see the internship together at the theaters. [00:11:01] Yeah. [00:11:02] Vince is known. [00:11:04] He's kind of the coolest guy. [00:11:05] Okay, you reach out personally or you have. [00:11:06] Yeah, I just texted him and I was like, okay, would you be in the show we're making? [00:11:10] And he just was like, yeah, of course. [00:11:11] He was familiar with season one? [00:11:12] I don't know if he had even seen it yet. [00:11:14] I'm not sure. [00:11:15] Okay. [00:11:15] But he just instantly was like, yeah, just say when. [00:11:17] That's awesome. [00:11:18] And then we were trying to find a way to get him in the show. [00:11:23] We got Vince Vaughn. [00:11:23] Of course. [00:11:24] Yeah, yeah, yeah. [00:11:24] And then we kind of shoehorn him in there. [00:11:28] You'll see. [00:11:28] He's in like two scenes. [00:11:30] Okay, okay. [00:11:30] So you're writing for Vince. [00:11:32] So you're writing for Vince Vaughn, right? [00:11:33] And you've seen every Vince Vaughn movie. [00:11:35] Oh, man, that's a great topic. [00:11:37] Yes. [00:11:38] Okay. [00:11:38] How do you stop yourself from just writing? [00:11:41] We didn't. [00:11:44] He wrote his, he had a pass at the script. [00:11:48] And do you remember that? [00:11:49] Every sentence ended with baby. [00:11:51] Oh, yeah. [00:11:59] So you get Vince in, and then he's in these scenes, and you've obviously worked a script to respect him as an actor and not make him. [00:12:06] He got the lines right away. [00:12:08] I mean, I think we gave him to him that day. [00:12:10] And he's, yeah. [00:12:11] And he just knew him. [00:12:12] It was pretty impressive. [00:12:14] And then, and then he added Vince stuff, which was, it was awesome to watch. [00:12:19] Were you intimidated? [00:12:20] Like when you're a little, yeah. [00:12:22] Yeah. [00:12:23] Yeah. [00:12:23] Especially because our scene is just me and him sitting at the next one, and it's like, oh, shit. [00:12:28] Yeah. [00:12:28] And he would like improv and say, just, I don't know. [00:12:31] We'd finish the scene. [00:12:33] What are your thoughts on Japanese toys on a scale of one, two to four? [00:12:37] Yeah. [00:12:39] Three? [00:12:40] I don't know. [00:12:42] He's not at all intimidated doing comedy with you. [00:12:46] No. [00:12:47] It's interesting, right? [00:12:48] But I mean, just as a comedic actor, he's like Hall of Fame. [00:12:51] Yeah. [00:12:51] Yeah, of course, of course, of course. [00:12:52] But in like, you know, you're around a comedian, you might, you know, pull your punches a little bit more, but he's just so confident his shit. [00:12:59] He was. [00:12:59] Yeah, he was like a real actor. [00:13:01] Yeah. [00:13:01] Yeah, he is. [00:13:03] He was like serious. [00:13:04] Oh, really? [00:13:05] Yeah, he's a real fucking actor. [00:13:06] He's like the bespian. [00:13:07] And the rest of us are. [00:13:08] When you riffed, would he like? [00:13:10] Well, yeah, Girby isn't. [00:13:11] Obviously. [00:13:11] Girby's just wearing a robe in his trailer. [00:13:13] Oh, my God. [00:13:15] What did you mean? [00:13:17] One time. [00:13:21] What kind of robe? [00:13:22] Like white? [00:13:23] They had it ready for you. [00:13:24] That's nice. [00:13:24] Yeah, it is nice. [00:13:27] No, also, guys, show dates June 19th through 21st. [00:13:31] I'm going to be in Salt Lake City, Utah. [00:13:33] July 18th and 19th, Oklahoma City. [00:13:35] August 1st and 2nd, I'm going to be in Kansas City. [00:13:38] Guys, we got all those dates and more at Akashing.com. [00:13:41] Also, the 420 special. [00:13:42] I did a show on 420 on Denver on shrooms with a fucking party. [00:13:46] There's a nice 20-plus-minute clip on YouTube if you want to check that out on my page. [00:13:50] Also, I got some other fun shit dropping in the next couple weeks. [00:13:54] So stay tuned. [00:13:54] It's Akash Singh on YouTube. [00:13:56] That's all you got to do, A-K-A-A-S-H. [00:13:58] Love y'all. [00:13:58] Hey, guys, it's Mark Yagnon: World's Fastest Ads. [00:14:00] Read Ready. [00:14:01] Buffalo, New York, Raleigh, North Carolina, Poughkeepsie, New York, Portland, Oregon, Fort Worth, Austin, Stanford, Levittown, Washington, D.C., Chan, Arizona, Sandy. [00:14:10] And, of course, the last week of every month, I do a show in New York City at Mary Lou. [00:14:15] I would love to see you guys come on out. [00:14:16] A bunch of other dates. [00:14:17] You can check out my website, Mark Yagnon Live. [00:14:19] If your name is Mary Lou, you can suck Mark's picks. [00:14:21] See you at the for free at the show. [00:14:23] Please don't do that. [00:14:23] So you guys. [00:14:24] Buy your tickets. [00:14:25] Here me, how has life changed? [00:14:27] Has there been anything cool that you've been able to do? [00:14:29] Just like a little bit of financial freedom, which is like an unbelievable feeling. [00:14:33] Massive, right? [00:14:33] Yeah. [00:14:34] Yeah. [00:14:34] Anything, anything you bought? [00:14:36] Anything that you joined the country club. [00:14:38] That was like super. [00:14:39] Oh, really? [00:14:39] Yeah. [00:14:40] I joined the Jewish Country Club. [00:14:41] You joined the Jewish Country Club. [00:14:42] Wow. [00:14:43] Technically. [00:14:46] Yeah, it was Palestinian. [00:14:50] No, he got bought by like a conglomerate because they apparently ran into the ground financially. [00:14:58] They're skimming off the top of it. [00:15:00] No, I don't know. [00:15:02] You know, maybe because there's a very expensive shed, apparently. [00:15:05] Who knows? [00:15:06] But anyway, that's what I did with it. [00:15:07] So you got into the country club. [00:15:09] 100%. [00:15:10] And then now you've been hanging out. [00:15:11] You're playing a lot of golf, and it hasn't affected Shane at all. [00:15:14] Shane is not bummed at all that you guys don't have time. [00:15:17] He doesn't. [00:15:17] Well, he obviously doesn't like me. [00:15:19] Why do you think that is? [00:15:20] Because you guys have such great chemistry. [00:15:21] You're so nice. [00:15:22] You're always defending him. [00:15:23] He's always like, why don't you love this guy? [00:15:25] I love you. [00:15:27] What are you talking about? [00:15:30] You are exhausting, though. [00:15:33] It's like, I love you, but then he goes away. [00:15:37] Hey, buddy, I can relate. [00:15:41] Wait, why is he so exhausting? [00:15:43] What does he do? [00:15:44] I mean, you saw what it is. [00:15:46] I can't do anything. [00:15:49] This, the amount of time that I thought, I was like, should I tuck in? [00:15:51] I untie, I had a whole outfit. [00:16:01] I'm walking around. [00:16:01] He said, like, that clip that's going out that's like, sorry, I am ignoring you. [00:16:04] No, it's like, you know, oh, he had guys film him. [00:16:13] I've been walking around my house be like, you have guys film you. [00:16:16] We're gonna win. [00:16:18] I don't have guys filming. [00:16:20] If somebody's filming me, I go, please stop filming me. [00:16:22] No, your podcast. [00:16:27] He's blowing it. [00:16:28] That's what he does. [00:16:29] It's just so everything is like, how is Shane going to respond to this and whatever. [00:16:35] This is crazy. [00:16:36] You see what I mean? [00:16:37] No. [00:16:38] This is crazy. [00:16:42] You see what I mean? [00:16:42] He doesn't like it. [00:16:44] He doesn't like me judging everything he does. [00:16:48] What the fuck is wrong with this guy? [00:16:49] We're doing psychological warfare. [00:16:52] We're doing a late night tomorrow. [00:16:55] And I called him and I was like, when you got your tuxedo, right, we're going to wear tuxedos. [00:16:59] And then he called me like, well, because originally he grew tuxedo. [00:17:04] I wanted him to wear a tuxedo. [00:17:05] I'm not wearing a fucking tuxedo. [00:17:07] I just wanted him to wear a tuxedo. [00:17:09] So I ordered one. [00:17:11] And then, like, before I took it to the tailor because of the pregnancy body, I had like a shoulder taken in. [00:17:16] And I was like, are we really doing this? [00:17:19] And then he had a moment of weakness. [00:17:21] I was like, no, we're not. [00:17:22] I said, no. [00:17:23] No, like another. [00:17:24] I felt bad. [00:17:25] I was going to make him wear a tuxedo. [00:17:26] Yeah. [00:17:26] That was beautiful. [00:17:27] But I know, Steve, he wants to wear a tuxedo. [00:17:30] I mean, not a tuxedo, but like a suit shirt. [00:17:33] You know what would be great is if you show up tomorrow with a fucking tuxedo. [00:17:39] No, that's good writing. [00:17:44] That's good writing. [00:17:46] Shane. [00:17:48] But then he didn't have it. [00:17:49] You don't think he's already thought of that. [00:17:52] I had no idea what he said. [00:17:53] His other idea is very funny. [00:17:56] You can go ahead. [00:17:57] He apparently in an auction purchased O.J. Simpson's ties. [00:18:03] So he's going to be like, all right, just wear a suit and then ask me to wear this. [00:18:07] Let me find out why. [00:18:10] And I'm already like, I got a ton of anxiety about just the general thing that did it. [00:18:14] I thought that would have been kind of good. [00:18:16] Yeah. [00:18:17] It would have been so viral. [00:18:19] It would have been pretty crazy. [00:18:20] Classic moment. [00:18:23] You're dressed like this. [00:18:24] And then you don't even let anybody. [00:18:26] You guys let the internet figure it out on its own. [00:18:31] It's going to be a disaster, though. [00:18:32] So, what are you guys wearing? [00:18:33] What do you guys, you guys? [00:18:34] I don't know. [00:18:34] I packed. [00:18:35] You guys want to workshop the internet? [00:18:37] I think I'm going to wear like a black shirt. [00:18:38] I'm going to wear this. [00:18:39] That's a good fit. [00:18:41] I didn't pack. [00:18:42] There was a storm in Texas and I have no power. [00:18:45] Okay. [00:18:46] And I have to be gone. [00:18:46] I've been on the road for like a week now. [00:18:48] I'm going to have a power grid like fucking idiots. [00:18:50] It's terrible. [00:18:50] And I was going to do laundry before I left for this trip. [00:18:54] Right. [00:18:54] But everything, I have no power for like three days. [00:18:56] Yeah. [00:18:57] Texas fucking blows. [00:18:58] I don't know that. [00:19:05] Come on. [00:19:06] Come back. [00:19:07] The second we ran out of power. [00:19:08] The house was 90 degrees. [00:19:09] Yeah. [00:19:10] Oh, man. [00:19:10] And just bugs. [00:19:11] And it's June. [00:19:12] That will go out in August. [00:19:13] Bugs came in immediately. [00:19:15] Yeah. [00:19:15] The house filled with bugs. [00:19:17] I'm just laying in the dark. [00:19:19] I was, you would have liked it. [00:19:20] I lit some candles and read a book. [00:19:24] You would have liked it. [00:19:27] Now I get it, Kirby. [00:19:28] Now I get it. [00:19:29] The second I'm calm and interested in the story. [00:19:31] He just rushed me for no reason. [00:19:32] I was like, no, you like what I do like gay shit. [00:19:36] You like what I do, gay shit. [00:19:37] I do. [00:19:38] I do like gay shit. [00:19:39] I do like that. [00:19:40] When you do gay shit, I like it. [00:19:42] Like what? [00:19:42] Like, what's wrong with you? [00:19:43] Like, read a book by candlelight. [00:19:45] Yeah, yeah. [00:19:46] Yeah, yeah. [00:19:47] Which is funny. [00:19:50] Naked. [00:19:51] It doesn't have to be naked. [00:19:52] I was naked. [00:19:53] Really? [00:19:55] Just ass naked reading a book. [00:19:57] Wow. [00:19:57] What book was it? [00:19:58] It's called Tree of Smoke by Dennis Johnson. [00:20:02] The basketball player? [00:20:04] No. [00:20:06] No. [00:20:06] The former Celtic who wrote a book. [00:20:09] No, it's great. [00:20:09] It's about Vietnam. [00:20:10] It's very nice. [00:20:11] Oh, wow. [00:20:12] Yeah. [00:20:13] You think he was really there? [00:20:14] I don't think he was there. [00:20:16] Well, probably got some good perspective. [00:20:20] But it's tough. [00:20:21] Yeah, when you're naked reading a book, and then whenever you close the book, you see your tiny penis. [00:20:27] In candlelight. [00:20:29] Oh, fuck. [00:20:31] It's on the book. [00:20:32] Oh, God. [00:20:32] I'll read about Tiny or once. [00:20:38] Yeah. [00:20:39] When was the last time you took a bath? [00:20:41] Oh, dude, I took a bath recently. [00:20:44] Last week. [00:20:51] How do you know if you haven't taken a bath? [00:20:53] I have taken a bath, but I'm saying, you know that feeling. [00:20:55] Yeah. [00:20:56] And there you go. [00:20:59] I also treated it like a shower. [00:21:01] Last time I took a bath, I like got in pissed. [00:21:05] Pissed and like blew my nose. [00:21:10] Why did I do that? [00:21:15] Yeah, dude. [00:21:16] It kind of floats in there with you. [00:21:19] Fucking Ariel monsters. [00:21:24] My wife drew me up a bath because my legs were sore, so she's like, Yeah, I'll get you Epsom salt. [00:21:28] Also, put bubbles in it. [00:21:30] And my wife did the same shit, and I loved it. [00:21:33] I wish I had a book. [00:21:34] Yeah. [00:21:34] I'll be honest, I enjoyed it. [00:21:36] I just haven't taken a bowl bath. [00:21:37] And bubbles. [00:21:38] Get out of here, dude. [00:21:38] I was a kid. [00:21:39] I was like a child. [00:21:40] We took a full-on bubble bath as a dude. [00:21:42] No. [00:21:43] Why are we waxing? [00:21:48] I was just working out. [00:21:50] Do you think that we'd be talking about this today, Gerbs? [00:21:52] Baths? [00:21:53] Yeah, just like comparing our bath stories? [00:21:55] Yeah, no. [00:21:56] No. [00:21:57] You ever catch a bath jerk off? [00:21:59] No. [00:21:59] No, that's crazy. [00:22:00] You kept holding me here. [00:22:02] He just sat in my cup. [00:22:04] This guy is wild with his own semen. [00:22:07] I don't want to face it. [00:22:09] He'll come on himself and just leave it. [00:22:11] He comes on the carpet of hotels when he's on the bed. [00:22:14] I was thinking about it. [00:22:15] He just comes over and then just lets it rip. [00:22:17] No. [00:22:17] Yeah, that's it. [00:22:18] It's disgusting. [00:22:19] We're all living in the same world. [00:22:22] I don't think that. [00:22:23] You're coming in the same world. [00:22:25] I'm with you. [00:22:26] I'm with you. [00:22:27] It's on the floor, my beach dog. [00:22:29] I'm telling you. [00:22:30] I'm afraid to walk barefoot in a hotel because of this guy. [00:22:33] You shouldn't walk barefooted all the time. [00:22:35] What do you wear? [00:22:36] You sleep with socks? [00:22:37] You get up to pee in the middle of the day. [00:22:38] He goes to the beach with socks. [00:22:39] Of course. [00:22:41] Do you wear it? [00:22:42] I sleep naked. [00:22:43] Do you sleep naked? [00:22:44] I sleep naked, but I wear socks and jack off and sleep. [00:22:52] I swear to God, I thought about that yesterday. [00:22:54] I was at a hotel. [00:22:55] I was like, this disgusting motherfucker just comes on this floor. [00:22:57] Yeah. [00:22:58] The poor people that are at the. [00:22:59] Nah, but they clean it. [00:23:00] No, they don't. [00:23:02] You put a vacuum cleaner over it. [00:23:04] Dude, if you're brushing your teeth in the hotel shower and you drop your toothbrush, do you just leave it or do you pick it up? [00:23:09] It's over. [00:23:10] It's a rat. [00:23:11] I would never brush my teeth in the shower. [00:23:13] I always exclusively in the shower. [00:23:15] Really? [00:23:15] I definitely will do that. [00:23:16] You should try it. [00:23:17] It's very nice. [00:23:17] Yeah, it's a time of hotel warmth. [00:23:19] Really? [00:23:20] Until you drop your toothbrush and then it goes towards the drain and you pick it up real fast and you just look at it. [00:23:23] It's just over. [00:23:24] You're like, do I dare try this out? [00:23:27] Yeah, I do. [00:23:27] Mark, don't pretend you get in a shower. [00:23:31] The hotel shower is the best. [00:23:33] You don't got to worry about clogging that drain. === Grunts And Locking Shut (10:45) === [00:23:34] I did have to snake my drain recently. [00:23:36] Ew. [00:23:37] Dude. [00:23:41] Somebody's supposed to be quiet going, ew. [00:23:46] Just work into him. [00:23:47] Ew. [00:23:49] Dude, the upstairs shower got so clogged up that the water filled up the shower and then started leaking into the bathroom downstairs. [00:23:55] Oh, geez, because the drain was so jammed. [00:23:58] You got all that hair. [00:23:59] Yeah, me plus my wife. [00:24:00] All right. [00:24:00] Plus now our new baby. [00:24:02] Oh, congratulations. [00:24:03] Yeah, tiny little baby hair. [00:24:05] He's got no hair. [00:24:06] It's all going to the drain. [00:24:07] And then I had to snake it, and it was just one giant glob. [00:24:10] And then I just sit in the shower just covered in muck. [00:24:14] And then I had to shower in the same shower that I just cleaned. [00:24:17] It was all. [00:24:18] Yeah, it was terrible. [00:24:19] Why are you doing it? [00:24:20] Who else is going to do it? [00:24:21] Don't you, you, you ran to a place, right? [00:24:24] Yeah, I texted the maintenance guy, the super, and he was like, you should do it. [00:24:27] Left me on red. [00:24:28] Wow. [00:24:29] He just never came back. [00:24:30] Good for him, though. [00:24:33] Al Brango, it's your hair. [00:24:35] He chose his hair. [00:24:36] Yeah. [00:24:36] But coming on the floor at a hotel. [00:24:38] It's fucking repulsive. [00:24:39] You think that that's a crazy thing? [00:24:40] That's really true. [00:24:41] Truly one of the most disgusting things I've ever heard in my life. [00:24:43] Rollover is interesting to me. [00:24:45] The rollovers, that's a wild move. [00:24:47] I'm a little lazy. [00:24:48] Yeah, you know. [00:24:49] I'm pretty fucking lazy and I don't do that. [00:24:52] Yeah. [00:24:53] That's fucking nuts. [00:24:55] What do you put up? [00:24:56] Don't worry about what I'm up to. [00:25:00] You just got to get the towel. [00:25:02] Don't worry. [00:25:04] Just get the bathroom towel. [00:25:06] That's the responsible move. [00:25:08] That's like a professional that been at a hotel before. [00:25:10] Preemptively. [00:25:11] Yeah. [00:25:12] And you got to just see it through. [00:25:13] Just keep a couple on the bed next to you from now on. [00:25:16] Girls, do you even do that? [00:25:17] Do you even whack off like that? [00:25:19] Like that? [00:25:20] Yeah, just you whack off like that. [00:25:23] Do you whack off? [00:25:26] You're just not willy-nilly, but are you like a guy with a lot of horniness in your life? [00:25:30] Of course. [00:25:30] He's the horniest guys I've ever met. [00:25:32] Really? [00:25:32] Oh, and has it always been that way since you guys met? [00:25:35] Yeah, I was shocked. [00:25:37] That was sort of how you guys played. [00:25:40] No, no, no. [00:25:42] Please tell the story. [00:25:43] Please tell the story. [00:25:45] We're going to have to porn in fucking Philadelphia. [00:25:47] We're like, yeah, you're right. [00:25:50] Take advantage of girls in the state. [00:25:53] Like back when he started his podcast, I think I was like one of the first guests you ever had on. [00:25:58] And it was that was another time that you like, you know, risked your own. [00:26:05] Because at the time, I think you had like a thousand listeners, which in Philadelphia was like, what? [00:26:11] Because if you got like 80 views on something, it was huge. [00:26:14] And he had a thousand. [00:26:15] And I was like, people are going to hate me. [00:26:17] They're going to stop listening to your show. [00:26:18] What have you? [00:26:20] And then, but yeah, he was like, we were just, I was open about my pornography watching. [00:26:26] Oh. [00:26:27] So I think like that. [00:26:28] So that's I liked it. [00:26:30] Yeah. [00:26:31] Did you watch porn? [00:26:32] Yeah, yeah. [00:26:33] We got to know the details. [00:26:34] He was like, he'll give you every, you can ask him anything. [00:26:36] I don't really have like shame. [00:26:37] I can't fully answer it. [00:26:38] Yeah. [00:26:38] Okay. [00:26:39] It's like a sexual freak. [00:26:40] No, that's sexual. [00:26:42] But I was like, we don't have to talk about it. [00:26:43] I'm not like inviting you to talk. [00:26:46] Tell me about the pillow. [00:26:47] What pillow? [00:26:48] You know the pillow. [00:26:48] Oh, the pillow? [00:26:52] Well, I thought that was. [00:26:57] I thought you were talking about. [00:26:59] Oh, boy. [00:26:59] That was that was... [00:27:00] Never mind. [00:27:02] I'll tell you that again. [00:27:03] Don't touch it. [00:27:04] Don't recoil. [00:27:05] Recoil. [00:27:08] Hold on. [00:27:09] Recoil. [00:27:17] Tell him Rick Corn. [00:27:18] He's a freak. [00:27:21] No, it was only because of, you know, like eating pussy. [00:27:27] Performing oral. [00:27:28] Performing oral. [00:27:29] Yes. [00:27:30] Performed oral. [00:27:32] Wait, you were watching videos of people. [00:27:33] No, this is him. [00:27:35] This is why I like pumped on pump fake the story because I was like, oh, I thought we were talking about porn, but we're talking about me. [00:27:40] So yes, the pillow is like I would put down a pillow to then. [00:27:44] And then there was some incredible fan art made about that. [00:27:46] Wait, wait, you would put down a pillow. [00:27:48] Explain what the pillow is. [00:27:49] I put this, put that down for my knees. [00:27:52] Oh, before you, before the performance. [00:27:54] Oh, she. [00:27:55] Sorry. [00:27:56] Sorry, guys. [00:27:58] I'm done with jerking. [00:28:01] I do. [00:28:02] I already perform oral sounds. [00:28:05] Stan socks. [00:28:06] I have the same socks. [00:28:07] Anyway, I'm sorry. [00:28:09] Yes, but when I go to Moral, I'm on the side of the bed on my knees. [00:28:14] Oh, God. [00:28:16] And so hence the pillow. [00:28:18] Because I dropped downstairs. [00:28:19] I thought she was standing. [00:28:20] I had no clue she was running. [00:28:21] No, it's my bad. [00:28:22] Yeah. [00:28:22] Okay. [00:28:23] So standing. [00:28:24] That's actually nice. [00:28:25] That'd be interesting. [00:28:27] That's going to be tough for you with your length of your. [00:28:29] Well, I have a giant fucking girlfriend. [00:28:39] Okay. [00:28:39] So that's not. [00:28:41] That's not short I kicked in there. [00:28:44] It's my neck. [00:28:48] But I don't know. [00:28:52] So we're talking about you're going to try a standing. [00:28:57] Yeah. [00:28:58] He'll break the pillow out. [00:28:59] He'll say, honey, get ready. [00:29:00] And he'll lay a pillow on the ground. [00:29:02] He also was the orgasm rate you say women have with you. [00:29:06] This is crazy. [00:29:07] It was, first of all, it was, she validated it. [00:29:10] It's only, but it's not to say it's not every single time. [00:29:13] It's not the girl's coming. [00:29:14] Oh, every single time. [00:29:15] No. [00:29:16] How about perform oral? [00:29:17] But would you say? [00:29:18] Yeah, 80%. [00:29:19] But again, 80%. [00:29:20] She is, my girlfriend is very like, you know, knows how to get there. [00:29:25] She knows how to get there. [00:29:27] She's like a Tesla. [00:29:28] Yeah. [00:29:29] She's got a self-regulation. [00:29:32] It's not like I'm, like I've said, I'm not, I'm not like a, you know, I'm not claiming to fame of like mega talent in this area. [00:29:38] It's just that, you know, I'm just fortunate with somebody that knows communicative and she knows what I'm talking about. [00:29:45] Thank you. [00:29:46] Yes. [00:29:46] You're communicative. [00:29:49] I am communicative as well. [00:29:50] You're also communicative. [00:29:52] Yeah. [00:29:52] Yeah. [00:29:52] And you're very vocal in the bedroom, aren't you? [00:29:58] Yeah, I can't do that. [00:29:58] But you like that. [00:29:59] Wait, Please talk to me. [00:30:01] Like what? [00:30:01] Like what? [00:30:02] Well, I mean, it's just, you know, whatever. [00:30:04] You know, we actually, this is too close to life, like the show, because we do talk about this on one of the episodes. [00:30:11] But yeah, like, you know, dirty talk or general grunts. [00:30:17] Either or. [00:30:18] Either or. [00:30:19] Yeah, yeah. [00:30:20] General. [00:30:21] General grunts. [00:30:24] What's your favorite grunt? [00:30:25] Do you have the grunt? [00:30:26] No, no, no. [00:30:27] I don't. [00:30:28] How do you know? [00:30:31] I swear to God, please do that. [00:30:34] Please. [00:30:34] That's a little bit of a good thing. [00:30:36] Give us an example of a general grunt. [00:30:41] Lock it. [00:30:42] Lock in. [00:30:42] Shut up. [00:30:43] Lock it. [00:30:44] Shut up. [00:30:48] Oh, man. [00:30:49] That's so fucking gross. [00:30:51] So, when would that happen? [00:30:56] Whatever. [00:30:56] Whatever you want. [00:30:57] Whatever you want. [00:30:58] Whatever you want it, bro. [00:31:00] Whatever I want it. [00:31:00] Whatever it is. [00:31:01] Just feeling overwhelmed. [00:31:04] Is it masculine? [00:31:08] I go, oh. [00:31:11] Is it a way to communicate your pleasure to her? [00:31:14] It's just to let it out. [00:31:16] I know. [00:31:19] I communicate things to her about how she reenacted. [00:31:24] Act out there. [00:31:24] That's her now. [00:31:25] Here's the thing. [00:31:25] That's no she got as a grunt. [00:31:27] That's the grunt. [00:31:27] That's a lot. [00:31:28] That was very, that was very general. [00:31:29] That's crazy. [00:31:29] I would have never ever done that. [00:31:31] Yeah. [00:31:31] That's crazy. [00:31:33] That was beautiful. [00:31:33] We haven't even talked about your porns that you like. [00:31:35] This is, we've gone real well. [00:31:37] We're fine. [00:31:37] We don't need to get it. [00:31:38] This is our whole catalog online. [00:31:40] Yeah, this is every podcast I've ever done with this. [00:31:42] Wait, really? [00:31:43] This is well documented. [00:31:44] All right, guys, take a break for a second. [00:31:45] Listen, if you are tired of juggling five different supplements every single morning, let me tell you that just have gummy bursts. [00:31:51] Groons, baby. [00:31:52] Grooms. [00:31:53] Gummy birds are delicious. [00:31:54] Okay. [00:31:55] Empty pack right here. [00:31:56] I just housed this. [00:31:56] Thank you. [00:31:57] Greens, probiotics, prebiotics, vitamins, minerals, all in one gummy pack. [00:32:05] D'Allen, delicious fruit snack. [00:32:06] Why isn't everything in fruit snacks? [00:32:08] I totally know. [00:32:08] You have the ability to put in fruit snacks. [00:32:10] Just make everything fruit snacks. [00:32:11] Over 20 vitamins and minerals, 60 whole food ingredients, benefits for your gut, immunity, energy, brain function, all that shit. [00:32:16] Boom. [00:32:17] First thing that you eat in the morning. [00:32:18] And low sugar. [00:32:18] You might even have to continue this because I'm going to be chewing. [00:32:21] And they got Groons Kids. 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[00:32:58] Okay. [00:32:58] Let him RIP that George Costanza wallet that he's got in his pocket that's given him some sort of spinal issues because he's propped up on one sheet when he doesn't have to be. [00:33:07] And have him do this right here. [00:33:09] Okay. [00:33:09] You're not carrying our wads of cash anymore. [00:33:11] Everything is digital. [00:33:12] But if you do want to do a cash, you got it right here. [00:33:14] You got all your cards and everything you need right there. [00:33:16] And most importantly, it's trackable. [00:33:19] Yes, that's right. [00:33:20] It is trackable. [00:33:21] Okay. [00:33:22] You can literally find it with your phone. [00:33:23] Someone robs you, go to their house, get it back. [00:33:26] Take something extra. [00:33:28] You do whatever you even want to do. [00:33:29] Okay. [00:33:30] And last but not least, it's RFID protected. [00:33:34] Okay. [00:33:34] It blocks against the boops. 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[00:34:16] There is one story that I would love you guys to tell if you wouldn't mind. === Catfished Dating Stories (03:57) === [00:34:20] It's the one that you told on your pod about when you got catfished. [00:34:25] Oh, fuck. [00:34:26] Oh, that sucks. [00:34:29] You don't have to if you don't want to. [00:34:30] You don't have to. [00:34:31] And we can cut it if you want to. [00:34:32] No, no, no. [00:34:32] This guy. [00:34:35] It's a forewarning to other people. [00:34:37] It's utterly humiliating. [00:34:39] Yeah, so I got catfished into masturbating on the internet. [00:34:43] And Shane, Shane. [00:34:48] Come on, Shane. [00:34:49] I'm sorry. [00:34:50] You got catfish? [00:34:52] Yeah. [00:34:52] Masturbating on the internet. [00:34:55] I did. [00:34:56] I'm an idiot. [00:34:59] Yeah, so the stories and the one. [00:35:03] But the one part that I remember when we were talking, because I actually listened back to that when it was on YouTube. [00:35:10] So I was in Los Angeles on an internship and I was like very lonely. [00:35:14] And that's when you were saying you're like, when you're lonely, you just, you know. [00:35:18] Yeah. [00:35:19] So there was this, like, it was called Lava Life, which was like a. [00:35:25] Sounds familiar. [00:35:26] Yeah. [00:35:26] It was like a dating slash. [00:35:27] Is there like a commercial for it on TV? [00:35:29] Definitely. [00:35:30] Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. [00:35:32] Like a late night thing? [00:35:33] Yeah. [00:35:33] Oh, yeah. [00:35:34] They had a budget. [00:35:34] Well, no, because it was like, definitely. [00:35:37] The thing was, it was like dating or friends or intimacy. [00:35:41] Oh. [00:35:41] And so, like, you know, you obviously For cement. [00:35:45] Okay. [00:35:45] Yeah, yeah. [00:35:46] Fair. [00:35:46] Very fair. [00:35:47] And then, yeah, it was just utterly like. [00:35:49] What was the app or whatever? [00:35:52] Live alive? [00:35:53] Yeah. [00:35:54] Yeah. [00:35:54] Explain it. [00:35:55] Didn't I just do that? [00:35:56] Yeah, I think so. [00:35:58] Yeah. [00:35:59] You did. [00:35:59] It was like you explained that it was like a Skype, like Zoom thing. [00:36:02] Well, no, because she, so we were like, I was texting with a person. [00:36:06] Oh, you met her on the app? [00:36:08] Yeah. [00:36:08] And then, and then they were like, you know, like, take it to the next level. [00:36:13] And this is a while ago? [00:36:14] Yeah. [00:36:15] Yeah. [00:36:15] I'm 42, going on 42. [00:36:19] Maybe 42. [00:36:19] That's great, man. [00:36:20] 42. [00:36:20] Thanks, killing it. [00:36:22] And it's happened when I was like 24, 25. [00:36:24] So, this is a very mid-20s thing. [00:36:26] Yeah, yeah. [00:36:27] Time heals all wounds. [00:36:31] So they were like, you know, blah, blah, blah. [00:36:34] And I'm typing stuff that like if Shane ever found it, I would just kill myself. [00:36:40] That's the end of it. [00:36:41] I can't have him ever see this. [00:36:43] You know, it was like, blah, blah, blah. [00:36:45] Joke you or whatever. [00:36:46] And then whatever. [00:36:49] She was like, it's all wanted to see me masturbate. [00:36:53] And I was like, sure, you know, you do it. [00:36:57] And two, and then, you know, in that mind state, she was like, she said, my camera's not working. [00:37:04] She, and then, you know, you just go, oh, yeah, it's not working. [00:37:08] And so she sent photos of just, you know, and then I proceeded to. [00:37:15] Yeah. [00:37:16] So you filmed yourself. [00:37:18] Yeah. [00:37:18] Face? [00:37:19] No face? [00:37:20] Face and just trying to look sexy. [00:37:25] Oh my textie. [00:37:26] Oh my God. [00:37:27] Yes. [00:37:27] And then when it was over, yes. [00:37:31] This person just wrote LOL thanks and then closed the chat window. [00:37:35] And I was just like, my life's over. [00:37:38] Yeah. [00:37:39] How did you wait? [00:37:39] Why did you share that? [00:37:41] You're a bad person. [00:37:43] Why are you trying not to lie? [00:37:45] Well, in all fairness, like I share it because like, you know, it is what it is. [00:37:49] I did it. [00:37:51] And then also, if you see, you're ruthless. [00:37:59] If anybody else is like hearing this, it's if somebody's asking you to masturbate. [00:38:04] Don't do it. [00:38:06] Or make sure, you know, they're like holding up a newspaper and they're actually a video feeder. [00:38:11] You gotta verify. [00:38:12] And like, it's just not worth it because it feels horrible. [00:38:16] Yeah. === SNL Comebacks In 2019 (15:18) === [00:38:17] Oh, he's so good. [00:38:18] He's so shitty. [00:38:19] It was really, yeah. [00:38:20] And I was thinking it through. [00:38:21] I was like, what do what if they kind of living in like a living room? [00:38:24] I was in a dining room. [00:38:26] It was because it was, you know, I was renting. [00:38:30] Curtains hung up. [00:38:34] You went home, right? [00:38:35] Didn't you move home? [00:38:36] Well, after internship, of course I went home. [00:38:38] Yeah. [00:38:39] It was a blow-up mattress for comedy that you were. [00:38:43] No, it was internship. [00:38:44] I tried to do comedy. [00:38:45] I was not good. [00:38:46] You tried, wait, stand-up? [00:38:48] You always did. [00:38:48] He's really good. [00:38:49] I wouldn't think you're no, he is really good. [00:38:51] But that's how I met him. [00:38:52] But 18 years ago, none of us are good. [00:38:54] He's really good. [00:38:55] But you met, I believe that. [00:38:56] And Philly doing 2000. [00:38:58] I met McKeever. [00:38:59] So basically, like the story, like I met McKeever and I came up at the same time. [00:39:04] He is, he truly is fantastic. [00:39:08] And he just, which is cool. [00:39:11] And then I got seen and they said, you got to come to New York. [00:39:16] So I moved to New York, failed. [00:39:18] When I came back, I was like very sad. [00:39:21] And John McKeever would, you know, still continue to put me in everything. [00:39:26] But that was when he was like, have you heard of Shane Gillis? [00:39:28] And I was like, no. [00:39:30] And he was like, he's the funniest guy I've ever seen. [00:39:32] You guys have to do something together. [00:39:33] So you come into the scene. [00:39:35] You're a few years younger than me. [00:39:37] You come into the scene while you're in New York. [00:39:41] Yeah, he had like about to stop doing it. [00:39:44] And what about McKeever? [00:39:45] Meever stopped kind of right when I got there. [00:39:50] Yeah. [00:39:51] Which that was crazy. [00:39:52] He's he is just that good. [00:39:54] He won't do stand-up for like two years and I'll be like, come to a spot and he'll just murder. [00:39:58] Is he like a tortured artist kind of? [00:40:00] I don't know. [00:40:01] How do you think so? [00:40:02] He's tortured. [00:40:03] Yeah, I shouldn't talk about him. [00:40:05] He's not here. [00:40:05] But I think he just like, he's very good at like writing, directing, and I don't think he just wants to focus there. [00:40:12] Oh, that's great. [00:40:12] I've never gotten meet him, so I'm just asking. [00:40:14] Yeah, yeah. [00:40:15] Okay, so you're coming up. [00:40:16] He's very normal. [00:40:18] He's just a regular fucking guy. [00:40:19] Great. [00:40:19] And really great on set. [00:40:21] And the sketches, I've seen him, and he's terrible. [00:40:23] And he's a really good actor. [00:40:24] Yeah. [00:40:25] He's probably the best of us. [00:40:27] He's fantastic. [00:40:28] But I want to learn some lore for all you guys. [00:40:30] So you're coming in the scene. [00:40:31] Are you aware of these guys at the time? [00:40:33] I didn't know Gervin. [00:40:35] You knew? [00:40:35] I had heard about him. [00:40:36] They all told me he was great. [00:40:37] I was obsessed with Tommy and McKeever. [00:40:42] And you threw Delco Proper. [00:40:44] I knew about them before I moved to Philly. [00:40:46] I think I DM'd McKeever. [00:40:48] Like, can I please just watch you guys film? [00:40:50] Cool. [00:40:51] You can learn how to do it. [00:40:52] I just wanted to learn how to do it. [00:40:54] I have a few of those. [00:40:55] Yeah. [00:40:56] DM in the OGs. [00:40:57] So embarrassing. [00:40:57] No response. [00:40:58] So embarrassing. [00:40:59] Yeah, that's a reasonable thing. [00:41:00] I had a DM to him before we met. [00:41:03] And then we actually met. [00:41:05] And then I deleted the DM. [00:41:08] Smart. [00:41:08] That's great. [00:41:09] I was like, he's eventually going to send me something. [00:41:10] I don't want to see me be. [00:41:11] Yeah, smart move, dude. [00:41:13] First time I ever featured at Helium Comedy Club was for Burt Kreuscher. [00:41:17] Get out of here. [00:41:18] And I emailed him about more because he was obviously hammered and he was telling me, like, yeah, I'll take you on the road whenever you want. [00:41:24] I was like, yeah, fuck yeah. [00:41:25] This is going to change my life. [00:41:26] So I like sent him like a long email of like, I think you and me mesh really well. [00:41:33] And I think we should. [00:41:34] And it was his birthday. [00:41:34] And I closed the email with like, happy birthday. [00:41:37] And he just never responded. [00:41:39] And then me, him, and Stanhope were doing a podcast together. [00:41:42] And I was like, I actually emailed you a while ago and it's really embarrassing. [00:41:45] And he's like, I have the same Gmail. [00:41:46] I'm going to look it up right now. [00:41:48] He wrote it. [00:41:48] And he read the fucking. [00:41:50] And then Stanhope was like, actually, Bert, you fucking emailed me, you fucking loser. [00:41:56] Yeah, yeah, yeah. [00:41:57] That's awesome. [00:41:57] Oh, that's great. [00:41:58] Berts was way worse. [00:41:59] Berts was like, I know we don't know each other, but I'm on the road and it's real depressing. [00:42:08] Okay, so you're coming up. [00:42:10] You're a fan of those guys. [00:42:11] Yeah. [00:42:12] Quickly get popularity in the Philly scene. [00:42:15] Yeah. [00:42:16] When you came to Philly, you had like how much time you think it was possible. [00:42:21] 20 minutes, 30 minutes? [00:42:22] 15, yeah. [00:42:22] Okay. [00:42:23] Like, all right, so you go, you get people start to know who you are funny fast. [00:42:27] Yeah. [00:42:28] You get the attention of McKeever and Tommy and those guys. [00:42:32] Yeah. [00:42:32] They bring you in. [00:42:34] They did, yeah. [00:42:35] Because I, well, also, I was like booking shows and being like, as them as the headliner. [00:42:39] I was like, oh, where you got to get Tommy Pope on the road? [00:42:42] Like, come to Harrisburg and do a show. [00:42:45] So you were doing local spots. [00:42:46] Yeah. [00:42:46] And then getting the Philly guys to come out. [00:42:48] Yeah. [00:42:49] That's how I got to know him a little. [00:42:50] And then, yeah, that was it. [00:42:53] Yeah. [00:42:54] And then when do you first start doing any sort of sketch stuff with those guys? [00:42:58] They, I was in Delco Proper as like a background person. [00:43:03] Umpire, yeah. [00:43:04] Yeah. [00:43:04] Yeah. [00:43:04] I was an umpire. [00:43:05] He was really funny in that. [00:43:06] Yeah, it was funny. [00:43:08] Uh, yeah, that was it. [00:43:10] Can you give a breakdown of Delco Proper to everybody listening? [00:43:13] Go ahead. [00:43:13] He was. [00:43:14] Delco Proper. [00:43:15] It was like John and Tommy worked at a lumber shop. [00:43:17] Right. [00:43:18] But this is a show I think that you guys sold to Comedy Central. [00:43:21] Comedy Central. [00:43:22] They had, they made this was around COVID. [00:43:24] Like it kind of got way before that, actually. [00:43:26] I think it was like 2015. [00:43:29] Oh, wow. [00:43:30] Yeah. [00:43:30] Okay. [00:43:31] And yeah, so they and Comedy Central bought up to a pilot. [00:43:37] This was like a time when they were buying. [00:43:40] They made a, I think it's still online. [00:43:42] It's called The Funeral. [00:43:43] It's so funny. [00:43:44] Yeah. [00:43:45] And then Comedy Central bought three more Web shorts from them and then a pilot. [00:43:50] And then they passed. [00:43:52] And it was kind of the time where I think it was a little bit like. [00:43:55] Yeah, it was 2015. [00:43:56] Yeah. [00:43:57] 2016. [00:43:57] It's like the climate. [00:43:59] You guys can't be white. [00:44:02] That seems like you're going to run your company into the ground. [00:44:07] So when do you come to New York? [00:44:10] 2019. [00:44:11] Was there any pushback from the guys in Philly? [00:44:14] No. [00:44:14] Everybody was like... 2019. [00:44:16] So after, was that after SNL? [00:44:18] No, that was. [00:44:19] I got SNL like right when I moved to the top. [00:44:21] Oh, okay. [00:44:21] We were on the way here. [00:44:22] It was very funny because I was like, I love New York. [00:44:24] I miss New York. [00:44:24] And I was like, there was one week when I knew I was getting SNL and no one else knew. [00:44:29] And I was just walking around the city like, what a beautiful fucking city. [00:44:34] City of fucking hell. [00:44:35] I love these people. [00:44:36] This is incredible. [00:44:37] And then the next week I got fired and I was walking around. [00:44:39] I fucking hate this. [00:44:43] How soon after when we were at JFL together? [00:44:46] That was it. [00:44:46] That was when I got okay. [00:44:48] Now, when we were at the Chinese restaurant, did you already know? [00:44:51] No. [00:44:52] It was from that night. [00:44:54] I remember you had a set and you, and you're very, usually you just say you bomb all the time, which is hard to believe. [00:45:01] But I think this one, that's funny. [00:45:05] Which is, I think this one you were like, no, I think I did pretty good. [00:45:08] Like you felt good. [00:45:09] Yeah, good there. [00:45:10] Yeah. [00:45:10] And I ran the light and I looked over at Jeff Singer and I was like, am I good to run it? [00:45:15] And he was like, oh, he said, keep going. [00:45:17] It was cool. [00:45:17] That's huge. [00:45:18] Yeah, that was cool. [00:45:20] Okay, so you find out the next day. [00:45:22] No, no, they were just there. [00:45:24] They had seen it. [00:45:25] Got it. [00:45:26] They got the fact that they hired me. [00:45:28] But no, I didn't find out, I don't think, for a little while. [00:45:32] Okay. [00:45:33] Yeah, but that was 2019. [00:45:34] And yeah, I forget what I'm saying. [00:45:39] I'm trying to get the lore and how all you guys are still connected. [00:45:43] Yeah. [00:45:44] Because we had made tires as like a short. [00:45:48] Yeah. [00:45:49] And when was this? [00:45:50] Sorry. [00:45:51] Oh, yeah. [00:45:51] We made tires like a long time ago. [00:45:53] Yeah, like 2016, 17, somewhere around there. [00:45:56] And the first time we just shot test footage, I think that was our first time really hanging out. [00:46:00] Yeah. [00:46:01] And he was phenomenal. [00:46:03] And then I wonder how nice I was to you. [00:46:06] I bet we were. [00:46:07] You were pantsing me. [00:46:08] I had a lot of face. [00:46:13] He's been this forever. [00:46:16] I paid him to be in the show. [00:46:21] And he was torturing me. [00:46:23] And then, yeah, he was like overdrafting Chipotle charges at that time and just being a menace. [00:46:30] But he was so fucked. [00:46:33] And so, like, the first time we shot test footage, because we would only have it for a Sunday. [00:46:37] So we would try and shoot like eight or 10 pages in a Sunday. [00:46:40] We'd like get in there as quick as we could. [00:46:42] And then we almost got it. [00:46:44] And then we shot it another time. [00:46:46] And then the third time is what ended up being online for a while, which was really fun. [00:46:53] And then after that was Gillian Keeves, which you helped out a lot. [00:46:56] I don't know if I did anything for you. [00:46:57] Oh, you did. [00:46:58] We probably wouldn't have made it. [00:46:59] Well, I appreciate it. [00:47:00] Yeah, it was nice. [00:47:00] Thank you. [00:47:01] Because John wasn't totally listening to me. [00:47:03] And I was like, he's going to listen to Schultz. [00:47:05] Schultz, you know, you've shown the model. [00:47:08] And then there was like a production company you guys needed to get on board for that. [00:47:11] Yeah. [00:47:12] I feel like they were a little hesitant or something. [00:47:13] Everyone was pretty hesitant. [00:47:15] I remember I saw it was going to work. [00:47:17] Fuck. [00:47:19] I remember I saw a sketch. [00:47:21] I forget even which one, but I remember I hit you up immediately after. [00:47:24] Yeah. [00:47:24] And I was like, this is the funniest shit that I've ever seen. [00:47:27] Like, it was just unbelievable. [00:47:28] And it was so different. [00:47:28] I think there was like a lot of sketch on Isis Toyota online at the time. [00:47:31] ISIS Toyota. [00:47:32] I think that was unbelievable. [00:47:33] I don't think that was the one. [00:47:34] I think it was something else. [00:47:36] Anyway, and I hit you up. [00:47:37] I was like, this is the funniest fucking shit. [00:47:38] You're like, yeah, I think we're trying to. [00:47:40] You're like, I want to make a season. [00:47:41] I want to put this thing together. [00:47:42] I'm trying to convince these guys. [00:47:44] And this was during COVID, actually. [00:47:45] Yeah. [00:47:46] Because we were in Miami. [00:47:47] Yeah. [00:47:48] Yeah. [00:47:49] And then you released your special too at that time. [00:47:53] Has that been wild to see what's happened with his career? [00:47:56] Like, do you go to the arena shows? [00:47:58] Is it like put things in perspective? [00:48:02] It doesn't. [00:48:02] It doesn't like we know how good he is. [00:48:05] So it's not like a shock to it, but it is still weird, but it's also like, I mean, I got a bottom. [00:48:12] Oh, but he's my favorite comic. [00:48:13] Don't be good. [00:48:14] All right. [00:48:15] I mean, a little bit. [00:48:19] I mean, he's so funny. [00:48:20] Yeah. [00:48:21] And so it's not like super like surprising. [00:48:25] It's something that anyone is doing. [00:48:26] Yeah, yeah. [00:48:27] But it's just doing an arena. [00:48:29] It's crazy. [00:48:29] It's crazy out there. [00:48:30] But I remember the first time I saw you, because McKeever had sent me your TED Talk. [00:48:35] Because that was during. [00:48:36] Yeah, but no, that's a really good talk. [00:48:39] Oh, thanks. [00:48:39] Especially like, just like he said, this was a time 2015, 2016, where it was like, yeah, you're going to have to find a different way. [00:48:46] Yeah. [00:48:46] You know, and goddamn, the whites. [00:48:50] Yes. [00:48:51] We'll find a way. [00:48:55] The industry was like, you can't be white. [00:48:57] We're like, well, now the industry's dead. [00:49:03] Let that be a lesson for you. [00:49:04] The white, like, we're going to decide who the next president is. [00:49:11] I mean, you got to see Shane throw a first pitch at a baseball game. [00:49:13] Like, you must have been so excited for him. [00:49:15] Of course, I was excited. [00:49:17] Of course, I'm excited for him. [00:49:19] Yeah. [00:49:19] You wanted me to fall down. [00:49:21] Not at all. [00:49:22] Not at all. [00:49:24] That is. [00:49:25] What is the first thing you said when he came back up after throwing a perfect strike? [00:49:29] I don't recall. [00:49:30] After throwing a perfect strike, what was the first thing you said? [00:49:32] From the mound, you threw a perfect strike. [00:49:34] I don't get like excited. [00:49:35] What is anybody said? [00:49:39] It was not perfect. [00:49:41] I'm just kidding. [00:49:43] It's just joking. [00:49:44] Certain angles it looks pretty good. [00:49:46] Some other angles it looks terrible. [00:49:48] It's like a soul full pitch. [00:49:50] No, no, no. [00:49:51] I usually don't get like excited or proud of a lot of the things I do. [00:49:55] But that time, like, I was like, oh, yeah. [00:49:57] I was from Trump. [00:49:58] That was such a relief because that was the most nerve-wracking thing I've ever done. [00:50:01] Yeah. [00:50:01] Was standing on the mound, like, oh, don't fuck this up. [00:50:04] Don't fuck it up. [00:50:05] Yeah, yeah, yeah. [00:50:06] And I was like, I was like proud of myself. [00:50:08] I have a video that is very funny. [00:50:10] I get done throwing it. [00:50:10] I'm like, let's watch it. [00:50:12] Let's watch it. [00:50:13] Oh, no, Gerbs. [00:50:18] Gerb's nasty ass. [00:50:20] This is on MLB.com. [00:50:22] I'm telling you, it was a great fucking drug. [00:50:25] It's still up there, bro. [00:50:26] All right. [00:50:27] He does have very stadium. [00:50:29] No, I don't. [00:50:29] You do. [00:50:30] Well, I didn't know we were going to watch the video. [00:50:32] It wasn't a good pitch. [00:50:35] I'm not standing by this. [00:50:38] I didn't know you were going to be able to do that. [00:50:39] I remember this exact moment. [00:50:41] Oh, dude, I can't imagine how nervous. [00:50:43] If you go back to that, because every bad first pitch lives online forever. [00:50:47] I reached for a high-five to the fanatic, and he was high-fiving my nephew on the walkout. [00:50:52] I was like, all right. [00:50:55] Yeah, that's not a great way to start. [00:50:58] What was the documentary where they included, was it on 9-11 or something where they included George Bush's opening pitch? [00:51:06] What was it like? [00:51:06] That's one of America's greatest moments. [00:51:08] That was up there. [00:51:08] That's a fucking heater. [00:51:10] In New York Strike, just going. [00:51:13] Yeah, it's all the time. [00:51:14] You see, there was a lot of stuff. [00:51:15] What was that part of? [00:51:16] What was the documentary? [00:51:17] Somebody about a first pitch? [00:51:22] And a ball. [00:51:23] A couple balls out of Somerset. [00:51:28] Painted the corner of the Pentagon. [00:51:33] Okay. [00:51:34] Are we not getting that video up? [00:51:35] That's not. [00:51:36] We don't need that. [00:51:36] got some technical difficulties that's okay yeah we need a producer tag right here though yeah miles made himself producer tags miles please i wasn't ready i didn't know i was on i'm gonna use the bathroom all right guys let's take a break for a second we got to talk about this uh this knick's tragedy yeah it is it was a tragedy man it was it was tough i mean they're going into the half it was tied I think we were tied to half. [00:52:06] And I was like, or we were down one or something like that. [00:52:08] It's close to four. [00:52:10] Down four? [00:52:11] Okay. [00:52:11] But it was close and like it was competitive. [00:52:14] And then they came out in the third and it was just unbelievable. [00:52:17] Yeah. [00:52:17] I remember y'all, it was 15. [00:52:18] And then y'all got it down to like seven or eight or something, maybe nine. [00:52:21] And I was like, oh, okay. [00:52:22] Yeah. [00:52:23] Low momentum. [00:52:24] Just quick. [00:52:24] And then, yeah, it was, yeah, you just can't play. [00:52:28] It just felt like we didn't have enough strategy offensively or defensively. [00:52:32] Like they ran this double pick and roll whenever Brunson was in the game. [00:52:36] And within seconds, Brunson is guarding the biggest guy on their team. [00:52:40] We had no kind of plan for it. [00:52:42] And apparently, like, you know, if Kat and Brunson are in the game, Kat can't show what you see a lot of times in pick and roll where like the big kind of like steps out and then fades back so that the guy can't like slide under it. [00:52:54] Yeah. [00:52:54] But apparently they're like, they don't know if he's fast enough to do that or whatever. [00:52:57] But they just did an amazing job of exposing our two most prolific players. [00:53:03] There's no question that Brunson and Kat are prolific. [00:53:06] But their lack of defensive ability against this team who's guarding you 94 feet, like it was unbelievable. [00:53:13] There was times during the game where they were locking down on D and the whole place going, D, fat's enchanting. [00:53:17] And it was like, it was like mesmerizing. [00:53:20] We were playing scared. [00:53:22] Looked like it. [00:53:23] We were playing scared. [00:53:24] We weren't helping out. [00:53:25] Like they would double team Jalen. [00:53:27] The leakouts this series, I haven't watched them much this year, but I was amazed at how many leakouts there were. [00:53:32] And then just cuts to the basket that were wide open layups. === Defensive Struggles At Halliburton (05:06) === [00:53:35] Great finds. [00:53:36] A lot lost by Halliburton or whatever. [00:53:38] Lost on D. [00:53:39] Yeah, Tiz is supposed to be a D guy. [00:53:40] Yeah. [00:53:41] And he did, listen, he did a great job with the team. [00:53:43] And like, I do believe in the team. [00:53:45] And Mitchell Robinson played phenomenal. [00:53:47] Like his ability to crash offensive boards, like cause chaos was great. [00:53:52] But we got out strategized here. [00:53:55] And we need to, if we're going to go back with this same team, it's got to be, we just have to acknowledge what's going on. [00:54:02] You know, like Jalen is unstoppable offensively. [00:54:04] He's one of the most amazing offensive players I've ever seen. [00:54:06] But when he's on the floor, if there aren't four amazing defenders with him, it can be exposed. [00:54:14] And it was. [00:54:15] And when he was off the floor, you saw us hold leads. [00:54:18] You saw us at times make comebacks. [00:54:21] It's because we could actually lock up and defend. [00:54:24] But unfortunately, when we had those defensive teams in there, they didn't have the firepower. [00:54:28] If that first game goes the other way. [00:54:30] I was going to say, if that Halliburton thing doesn't, that shot doesn't bounce in. [00:54:33] Crazy bounce. [00:54:34] I want to say that it would have been different, but like you got to give credit to the Pacers. [00:54:38] They are a better team. [00:54:40] They figured it out. [00:54:40] They figured it out. [00:54:42] I think that's... [00:54:43] We didn't make adjustments. [00:54:44] This is the first time I've ever watched the Knicks lose a game, and I thought the rest were on our side. [00:54:49] Like, I'm there in the arena, and I'm watching the game get called going, like, are we getting some calls here? [00:54:54] Did it feel that way when you're watching it home? [00:54:57] So, yeah, you got to give credit to the Pacers, man. [00:54:59] I was like, there was times where I wanted the call. [00:55:01] I was like, no, they got that right. [00:55:05] Don't think Pacers taking the final? [00:55:07] I don't. [00:55:08] It's going to be interesting. [00:55:09] I can't go watch much this year, but because Luca, that trade broke me. [00:55:13] But Oklahoma City, when I watched him in the playoffs, the defense is just like, on fucking, this is locked down. [00:55:19] Nobody's beating that team. [00:55:20] They're fucking killing. [00:55:22] I mean, it would be nice as a consolation prize to lose to the winners. [00:55:25] I would love it. [00:55:26] Yeah. [00:55:28] But yeah. [00:55:29] And if you want to drown your New York Knicks misery by betting, you got to go to stake. [00:55:33] It's the leader in global betting and U.S. social casinos. [00:55:36] You can bet on top sports and political events. [00:55:39] Eric Adams, how's he going to handle this loss? [00:55:41] Will the city rebound? [00:55:42] Probably not. [00:55:43] Going to be up in flames in a month. [00:55:44] And if you sign up, use your promo code Flagrant, you get a welcome bonus. [00:55:47] Now let's get back to the show. [00:55:49] All right, let's talk about Steve Jacking off. [00:55:50] No, no. [00:55:53] All right, let's record Steve talking about Jack and Off. [00:55:56] Give the yellow lines. [00:55:57] You have to yellow lines for him to see. [00:56:00] What is this? [00:56:01] It's a skylight. [00:56:02] Is that like made or is this part of it? [00:56:04] No, the sky's up there. [00:56:05] It's what the sky looks like. [00:56:08] If you open that, you would just go to the sky. [00:56:10] It's a beautiful day. [00:56:10] Powder's face. [00:56:11] Yeah. [00:56:11] It's just very interesting. [00:56:13] Yeah, you like that. [00:56:14] Where are the lights? [00:56:15] Yeah, you like that. [00:56:15] Wait, where are the lights? [00:56:17] Yeah, yeah. [00:56:17] No, there's a perfect amount of light today. [00:56:19] Were you outside ever? [00:56:21] Did you look up and see if the sky's low? [00:56:23] That's a window. [00:56:24] Matter of fact, I think it's starting to get a little late. [00:56:27] Oh, I'll tell you what, that was pretty awesome. [00:56:31] I'd like to pretend I was in on the bit, but that one got me. [00:56:36] It was literally like, but now it's better. [00:56:43] It's nice and warm. [00:56:46] This is Miles. [00:56:47] Miles even has a producer tag. [00:56:48] John Miles. [00:56:49] Welcome. [00:56:51] Goodbye. [00:56:55] That's really good to say. [00:56:57] He drops it every five. [00:56:59] Yeah, you know, every once in a while. [00:57:00] I mean, if it gets violent, he's got other ones, you know, if it's a little bit more violent. [00:57:04] Yeah, depending on the guess. [00:57:05] Yeah. [00:57:06] Miles near the spook of the podcast. [00:57:11] That's awesome. [00:57:13] How has no one else done this yet? [00:57:14] I don't know, but it's fantastic. [00:57:17] Kisses Savan, dude. [00:57:18] Yeah, that's great. [00:57:19] You've been waiting for that your whole life. [00:57:22] I can't wait to get one of those. [00:57:23] The Cannons. [00:57:25] Damn, son. [00:57:26] Where did you find this? [00:57:28] Yeah. [00:57:28] You ever hear that one? [00:57:29] You got to get that one. [00:57:29] If you say my name, I'll put it in the next producer tag. [00:57:32] Oh, that camera. [00:57:33] You say Miles, and I'll just. [00:57:34] Miles. [00:57:38] That's a banger. [00:57:39] Unfortunately, that's a banger. [00:57:41] Originally, it's going to be awesome. [00:57:42] Miles. [00:57:47] Okay, we're back. [00:57:50] Are you? [00:57:52] How do you keep writing new jokes? [00:57:55] I haven't. [00:57:56] That's a live topic. [00:57:57] I'm like, I've seen you tour, and it's like relentless. [00:58:03] Have you taken any time off outside of tires in the last four years? [00:58:07] No. [00:58:08] Wow. [00:58:09] Wow. [00:58:10] No, are we supposed to? [00:58:13] I need to. [00:58:14] Yeah, I am. [00:58:16] I'd like to. [00:58:17] Yeah. [00:58:17] I probably will at the end of this tour. [00:58:19] You're going to film something, I assume. [00:58:21] Yeah, I'm going to do the rest of this arena tour. [00:58:26] And then what a fucking. [00:58:28] That's a nice thing. [00:58:29] Are you sensitized to the arenas yet? [00:58:30] No, it's still. [00:58:31] Every time you're like, yeah, like last night, it was like, God damn. [00:58:35] Derek Posen says a thing to them. [00:58:36] It takes two basketball teams to fill up that arena. [00:58:39] Yeah, it's pretty cool. [00:58:40] Like last night, we were watching the next game. === Bitcoin Million Dollar Dreams (03:49) === [00:58:42] Yeah. [00:58:42] I was like, I sold that. [00:58:43] Yeah. [00:58:44] Also, great arena. [00:58:46] Shout out to the Indiana fans. [00:58:48] I just want to say, like, they're phenomenal. [00:58:51] Like, I'm walking in there. [00:58:54] I'm thinking it's going to be beef. [00:58:55] They're going to be annoyed. [00:58:56] We came in with gear and everything. [00:58:57] There's even a little part of me. [00:58:58] I'm like, I might be an asshole. [00:58:59] Like, what the hell? [00:59:01] Yeah, but at the same time, they were like so sweet, but also like, you're going to lose, but they were sweet. [00:59:06] And they were like, almost, they're the best. [00:59:08] Yeah, they're awesome. [00:59:08] They're awesome. [00:59:09] Truly. [00:59:09] Hoosier hospitality or something. [00:59:11] It was unbelievable. [00:59:12] Indianapolis slept on as a city. [00:59:14] I love Indianapolis. [00:59:14] Truly slept on it. [00:59:15] Isn't it Nap Town? [00:59:16] Isn't that what they call it? [00:59:16] That's what they call it. [00:59:18] It's all small town people that go to a place. [00:59:20] So it's kind of got a city, but everyone's got no ego. [00:59:23] I've been there once or twice and both times I've been there. [00:59:25] No, Indianapolis is awesome. [00:59:26] Anyway, so you're in Iowa, you do this arena, and then you take a flight here. [00:59:30] Yeah. [00:59:30] Yeah. [00:59:32] No, you would have liked this. [00:59:33] Before I went on stage, I would Soder was with me on the road, and I like right like while they were announcing me to go on stage, I looked at him and I was like, I just wanted to do like a Wednesday night at Helium. [00:59:41] What the fuck is this? [00:59:43] That was like my dream. [00:59:44] I was like, I hope I get one night at Helium. [00:59:46] I don't know. [00:59:47] This is out of control. [00:59:49] I don't know what the fuck's going on, dude. [00:59:51] Also, Money for Nothing. [00:59:53] Unreal. [00:59:54] Yeah. [00:59:54] You played it for us, and I was like, oh, this guy slaps. [00:59:57] But hearing it in the arena, like from someone's phone, I was like, Yeah, this is the old. [01:00:03] My girlfriend picked that. [01:00:04] Really? [01:00:05] Yeah. [01:00:05] And I didn't want to like it. [01:00:07] Because it was her suggestion. [01:00:08] Yeah, she suggested it. [01:00:09] And I was like, turn that shit the fuck off. [01:00:11] What are you talking about? [01:00:12] And then it hit. [01:00:12] And I was like, all right. [01:00:15] All right, guys, let's take a break for a second. [01:00:17] Today's sponsor is Kraken. [01:00:19] Okay. [01:00:20] It is your go-to plug for everything investing. [01:00:22] I want to also clarify right here that Kraken made it out thriving, not just alive, thriving. [01:00:28] Okay. [01:00:28] Every other crypto company, they fell apart. [01:00:31] Kraken, no. [01:00:32] Not only were they thriving, they're like, let's just take over the entire investment space. [01:00:37] That's what they're doing. [01:00:38] It's simple, it's secure, and it's fast. [01:00:41] And when the Bitcoin price is moving, use a platform that you can actually rely on. [01:00:46] Kraken has been around longer than 99% of the coins you've heard of, and they're still crushing it, trusted by over 13 million users from investing beginners to finance experts moving serious money. [01:00:57] And they don't just give you the basics. 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[01:02:30] How do you feel about Bonnie Blue? === Kraken App Crypto Bonus (07:26) === [01:02:31] Have you watched any of her videos? [01:02:33] Are you a fan of her? [01:02:35] Yeah. [01:02:36] You subscribe? [01:02:37] Yeah. [01:02:37] I don't subscribe to her OnlyFans, but yeah, you know. [01:02:41] You support her? [01:02:42] Definitely. [01:02:43] Really? [01:02:43] I've seen one of her videos. [01:02:46] How was it? [01:02:46] Great. [01:02:47] What happened? [01:02:48] Did you like it? [01:02:49] Yeah, absolutely. [01:02:50] Do you like it as much as you humanly could like something? [01:02:53] As what? [01:02:54] As much as you physically could like something? [01:02:57] Did you? [01:02:58] She was like, I think it was Johnny Sims. [01:03:01] Sims. [01:03:02] Oh, Sims. [01:03:03] Sorry. [01:03:03] Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. [01:03:04] Those are tough to watch. [01:03:06] That guy gets after it. [01:03:07] I don't like that shit. [01:03:08] That guy gets way too active. [01:03:09] I don't know if it was him, so I don't mean to, but she was. [01:03:12] I do that too, where you don't know the dick. [01:03:14] You're like, I can't recognize. [01:03:15] Yeah, yeah, yeah. [01:03:15] Who sings now? [01:03:16] I'm not sure who was him. [01:03:18] I covered in tattoos. [01:03:19] I've seen a million times. [01:03:21] Holy balls. [01:03:21] I know him in every occupation. [01:03:23] I can draw the veins on rent from backroom casting counts as dick easily. [01:03:28] Easily. [01:03:29] Easily. [01:03:29] Like in a line of funny memory. [01:03:32] Oh, God. [01:03:33] Okay, so Bonnie, you're not into the mass sex thing. [01:03:37] No, I didn't see the mass sex. [01:03:39] Yeah, I've never gotten my hands on one of those. [01:03:40] Yeah. [01:03:41] But I've been looking. [01:03:45] Shockingly. [01:03:46] I've been trying to find the game. [01:03:47] You're getting about a thousand guys. [01:03:49] There's a hundred YouTube fans. [01:03:49] I would have seen it. [01:03:51] Yeah. [01:03:51] In your mid-20s, would you have pulled up something like that? [01:03:54] You. [01:03:55] Oh, when I what? [01:03:57] Like an open call? [01:03:58] Like, absolutely not. [01:03:59] No way. [01:03:59] No, no, no. [01:04:00] Even with the ski mask. [01:04:01] No, no, no. [01:04:02] That's not my thing. [01:04:03] Was there always party where you would jerk it off on a shit? [01:04:06] I know. [01:04:07] What's that? [01:04:07] You would jerk it off on Skype. [01:04:09] Yeah, but that's different. [01:04:11] It's private. [01:04:12] Yeah, it's private. [01:04:14] Yeah, that's a wow catch. [01:04:16] Do you remember the from the Stern days, Houston 420? [01:04:20] Yeah, of course. [01:04:20] Yeah. [01:04:21] The Houston 500. [01:04:22] She was a 500. [01:04:23] Yeah, yeah. [01:04:24] What was that? [01:04:24] Houston was this girl. [01:04:26] Yeah, and then she took 500 dudes. [01:04:27] Oh, wow. [01:04:28] She did it. [01:04:28] I think she did it. [01:04:29] Yeah. [01:04:30] And then everybody's just doing Stern by themselves. [01:04:32] Oh, yeah. [01:04:33] Yeah. [01:04:33] The new ones, Bonnie Blue, doing a thousand. [01:04:35] I think she did a thousand. [01:04:37] Oh, yeah. [01:04:38] What the fuck? [01:04:38] We got to get her to the Will Chamberlain sent. [01:04:41] Like 100%. [01:04:44] Oh, man. [01:04:45] That's a real crime against God. [01:04:49] I mean, seeing all the dudes with the ski. [01:04:51] Maybe that's that she felt like she was called from God. [01:04:54] I'm not super religious, but like that's like, I'm like, that's. [01:04:57] Yeah. [01:04:58] There's a number. [01:04:59] Once you get a triple dip, a thousand's a lot. [01:05:02] Fucking 50s. [01:05:04] Crazy. [01:05:07] 28 guys is nuts. [01:05:10] Do you think you'd even be able to perform in that environment? [01:05:12] I don't think I fucking know shot. [01:05:15] I can't perform in a fucking dark room. [01:05:19] The lights are out. [01:05:20] I'm like, oh shit. [01:05:21] Yeah, we don't give enough credit for the guys who are getting up for this. [01:05:24] Yeah. [01:05:25] They're psychopaths, man. [01:05:27] They're all like kids I hired. [01:05:29] It's really fucked up. [01:05:30] Really? [01:05:30] They're kids? [01:05:31] They're like 18, 19-year-old kids. [01:05:33] And they just come in with a ski mask. [01:05:34] Some of their moms show up and pull them out of line. [01:05:36] There's a mom who pulled up and fucked it up. [01:05:39] Yeah, Texas. [01:05:39] The worst. [01:05:40] Jamaican mom. [01:05:41] That's a great mom, but that's got to be the most embarrassing thing on both levels. [01:05:45] You're getting pulled out of line. [01:05:46] Everybody's seeing you. [01:05:47] And then you got to deal with your mom being like, did you try to fuck that girl that fucked a thousand guys? [01:05:51] And you're so horny. [01:05:54] Yeah, you got to jack off when you get home. [01:05:56] You know what we need? [01:05:57] We need the pitch. [01:05:57] That's what we need. [01:05:59] I brought this up to you. [01:06:00] The inverse Bonnie Blue, I think, is more impressive. [01:06:03] Oh, way more impressive. [01:06:04] Oh, absolutely. [01:06:06] In one day. [01:06:07] Yeah. [01:06:07] Well, it's impossible. [01:06:09] Yeah. [01:06:09] That's what we say. [01:06:10] Yeah. [01:06:10] True. [01:06:11] That's what we say. [01:06:12] Yeah, men can't fly. [01:06:14] You know what I mean? [01:06:14] How are we going to fly around? [01:06:15] I'm thinking about the JFK species. [01:06:18] Like, why does Rice Bite Texas fuck a thousand women? [01:06:23] Why does Bonnie Bloom fuck a thousand guys? [01:06:25] Not because it's easy. [01:06:27] Like a cancer walk, but for dicks? [01:06:29] Exactly. [01:06:30] I think I'd be into that. [01:06:31] I don't know. [01:06:32] Schultz, I know, you little evil asses. [01:06:34] Listen, no, no. [01:06:35] First of all, pause, God damn, crowd going nuts. [01:06:41] You see what I'm up against? [01:06:43] I was like, fucking Kendran Milan. [01:06:45] I was like, what is it to stand zero? [01:06:48] You're crazy. [01:06:49] Okay. [01:06:49] All right. [01:06:50] Go, go. [01:06:52] They ice me? [01:06:53] Nervous? [01:07:00] He's so proud. [01:07:02] Bryce, legends. [01:07:04] Can we see this? [01:07:05] It's crazy how big Bryce is. [01:07:06] Bryce is the man. [01:07:08] He doesn't look that big, but the Nexus Change. [01:07:10] Actually, right there, he was, and Steve refuses to admit this, but he same thing the Texas pitcher was saying that I was throwing. [01:07:17] Shout out to Ace. [01:07:19] He was like, you got a little break on that. [01:07:21] Oh, knock it. [01:07:22] Oh, come on. [01:07:24] Come on. [01:07:25] Now he's going too far. [01:07:26] I swear to God. [01:07:27] He's going too far. [01:07:28] I don't refuse to admit that. [01:07:30] Let's get a better angle on that. [01:07:31] That was a crazy angle. [01:07:32] Had a little break. [01:07:34] I swear to God. [01:07:35] Get out of there. [01:07:36] Bryce Harper's first words. [01:07:38] You got a little break on that. [01:07:40] Now it's possible that the pitch was just dying. [01:07:44] For sure. [01:07:44] Yeah, but that's got nose baseball. [01:07:46] It's Bryce Harper. [01:07:48] But that's believable. [01:07:50] I can buy that. [01:07:50] Did you clock it? [01:07:51] Do you know what you came to? [01:07:52] That must have been 50. [01:07:54] Oh, wait, we got it. [01:07:55] We got it. [01:07:56] Not even close. [01:07:57] No, no. [01:07:58] So it's pretty far away. [01:07:59] I'd like to see one of these. [01:08:01] I'd like to see one of you buttfuckers try to scary. [01:08:06] Look at the whole man stadiums going nuts. [01:08:09] Cool. [01:08:09] No, that's not bad, dude. [01:08:11] Right down the middle. [01:08:11] That's not bad at all. [01:08:12] There's the missed high vibe. [01:08:16] Nah, I'd be very hyped if I did. [01:08:17] If I couldn't, I thought I was dead. [01:08:20] I thought I was. [01:08:20] And everybody says just getting on the mountain for some reason fucks you up. [01:08:23] You have no idea why. [01:08:24] It changes everything. [01:08:25] It's shocking how far away the catcher is. [01:08:28] And when they get in the stance, it's like they're small. [01:08:30] It's like, yeah. [01:08:32] And it was fucking Bryce Harper. [01:08:34] Are you already imagining the internet guy, too? [01:08:36] If it doesn't go well, I knew I was going to look like a dumbass throwing. [01:08:40] I thought that was great. [01:08:42] That was fun. [01:08:42] You look good. [01:08:43] But if you, like, you know, 50 Cent had the immortal throwout. [01:08:47] Right. [01:08:48] Like, that was right. [01:08:49] But he knew it. [01:08:50] I was like, I was cocky. [01:08:51] I was talking to my friends. [01:08:52] I was like, I'm going to check it, throw it to first. [01:08:55] Like, I was doing all this shit. [01:08:56] I was like, I might do this. [01:08:58] I got up there. [01:09:02] Okay, so you got to throw a pitch out. [01:09:04] Yes. [01:09:04] This was happening when? [01:09:06] Again, looks like July 20th. [01:09:08] Yeah. [01:09:08] July 20th. [01:09:09] Oh, that's Girby Day at Citizens Bank. [01:09:12] Everybody listen to this. [01:09:14] That's Girby Day at Citizen Bank. [01:09:15] Get there early. [01:09:16] I might faint. [01:09:17] Get there early so you see the opening pitch and fucking make some noise. [01:09:21] Can we get like a bobblehead made for him or something that would give out? [01:09:24] 100%. [01:09:24] Can we do something? [01:09:25] We could regular bobbleheads. [01:09:31] Do you remember too, though? [01:09:32] Like before you even went out, you were wearing that jersey, and then I was just like, why'd you give all your name on it? [01:09:38] Like, they gave this to me. [01:09:41] Yeah, he thought I wore a fucking killer. [01:09:46] But you had it made. [01:09:47] He said cocksucker. [01:09:50] That's a cocksucker thing. [01:09:51] You were trying to get in his head, right? [01:09:53] If you were trying to get in his head. [01:09:55] Before, yes, anybody's going to be a good idea. === Ligma Balls Satisfying Clip (09:55) === [01:09:58] He makes fun of it. [01:09:59] That's where you're going to do that. [01:10:00] He's got a baseball jersey tailored, and it looks like a girl's jersey. [01:10:03] It does look like a girl's jersey. [01:10:05] He got those sleeves raised. [01:10:07] It looks like a women's. [01:10:09] He said the premium's body, these things hang off me. [01:10:13] 100% tailored. [01:10:14] Yeah. [01:10:15] It's from China. [01:10:19] Yeah, and so he, I can't wear it now outside of the house, so I do feel very obscure about it because he's right. [01:10:25] It looks like a woman's jersey on me. [01:10:27] Yeah, if you elevate the sleeves on a baseball jersey, it just is a woman's. [01:10:31] Yo, this is okay. [01:10:34] You know how like sometimes you'll text me like a picture of like a dude bending over, like holding his dick or something like that? [01:10:41] But you'll do it, you'll airdrop it to me. [01:10:44] It's a really great fun joke. [01:10:46] We're on a plane. [01:10:47] Okay. [01:10:47] He just sends it over. [01:10:48] I accept this thing. [01:10:49] I'm like, oh, it's going to be adorable picture. [01:10:50] And there's a guy who's like hard dick and there's some like old woman next to me. [01:10:53] Like, what the fuck is this guy looking at? [01:10:55] He's just in the corner left. [01:10:56] It's a great fun thing. [01:10:58] Have you done this with any of like the new Uber famous people that you've met? [01:11:02] Like when, how early, how early into your relationship do you be Shane with them? [01:11:07] And has it ever backfired? [01:11:09] Ah, geez. [01:11:11] This is off topic, but not famous, but I do that to my dad a lot, which is very funny. [01:11:16] If you, anybody that's a dad, just Google men's naked ass and click images and just copy it and send it to their dad and see putting on his glasses. [01:11:30] No, this does not work with my dad. [01:11:32] We did this. [01:11:32] We did this with my dad. [01:11:33] Send guys, bro. [01:11:37] He was like, Fred, dude, New Year's. [01:11:40] He was like, me, my brother-in-law, he's in the Navy, like my other brother, like just a bunch of guys, and we're doing Ligma jokes. [01:11:46] And so I just threw out like a Ligma something, and then my dad just chirps up and goes, Ligma. [01:11:51] Hold on, you know what Ligma is? [01:11:52] I do. [01:11:52] Oh, fuck. [01:11:54] I thought we had it. [01:11:55] Sorry, don't interrupt your story. [01:11:56] Sorry, ruined it. [01:11:57] Right in the punch running. [01:11:58] I mean, if you crush it, that would have been all time. [01:12:00] So you were saying. [01:12:01] I just threw up Eligma, and then my dad just kind of pipes in randomly goes, What is Ligma? [01:12:06] And all of us just go, like, just kind of put our heads down, like, do it. [01:12:10] And then I kind of had to walk him into it and be like, Ligma balls. [01:12:14] And my dad was like, I don't, I don't like this. [01:12:16] What's funny about this? [01:12:18] My dad's actually working on this. [01:12:20] I don't like these jokes. [01:12:21] And so we had to explain the whole thing to him. [01:12:22] And by the end of it, he goes, Don't do this around me. [01:12:25] I think the first generation of white dudes that are gay and like think gay like black dudes are still on no, they're getting there. [01:12:33] No, they are on it, dude. [01:12:35] They're coming around. [01:12:36] You joined it. [01:12:38] I got caught at MSG. [01:12:39] What? [01:12:40] I'm going to nickname an MSG, and I've been catching Charlemagne on Brilliant Idiots every single episode. [01:12:44] It's to the point where the comments are like, man, Charlemagne's too curious. [01:12:50] Because every time I say maybe, I'd be like, imagine dragons or something. [01:12:53] You know, imagine dragons, right? [01:12:54] No. [01:12:55] Imagine dragging these balls on your phone. [01:13:01] So I just get shot for like six straight months. [01:13:04] And I'm walking into the game, and the guy stops me. [01:13:06] He goes, He goes, Do you have the end of my? [01:13:08] And I go, What? [01:13:09] He goes, I just need to see the end of my. [01:13:11] I go, The end of my what? [01:13:12] Or whatever. [01:13:13] And he goes, The end of my dick in your mouth. [01:13:15] The guy who works at MSG. [01:13:19] He goes, I had to do it for Charlotte. [01:13:20] So black dudes are all in. [01:13:21] A black guy got me in Charleston. [01:13:23] What'd he say? [01:13:23] While we were leaving, like leaving the line, we took a picture and he goes, By the way, you got to bring up Putin on the pod. [01:13:28] I'm like, what? [01:13:29] He was putting this dick in your mouth. [01:13:32] Just ruined my whole night. [01:13:33] That's nice. [01:13:33] Yeah, I mean, it's cool to see you guys. [01:13:35] Because our dad, my dad holds it down like a black guy. [01:13:38] Like, that was how every single dude throughout civilization, you know, maybe the Greeks, but for a while, every white dude. [01:13:47] Yeah, that's how it started with the Greeks. [01:13:50] I don't understand what's funny about it. [01:13:51] AD, yeah, at least AD, at least. [01:13:53] Black dudes. [01:13:55] Are you sure they're coming around? [01:13:57] Yeah, for sure. [01:13:58] For sure. [01:13:59] Jamaicans are not. [01:13:59] No, My one buddy was Jamaican one time. [01:14:03] I have a nice joke where I go, you see this fucking, I got this thing on my neck, and then you grab the balls a little. [01:14:10] He goes, I did it to my one buddy who's Jamaican, and he immediately fucked me as hard as he could in the dick. [01:14:21] It was like a fight at that point because he hit me, but I had to. [01:14:26] I didn't fight him. [01:14:26] I was like, you're right. [01:14:28] Yeah, well, I'm getting you can't make contact. [01:14:30] There's no contact. [01:14:31] How do you explain how it's funny to them? [01:14:32] Yeah. [01:14:33] Well, yeah, also, it's not like I was like hitting his nuts. [01:14:35] It was just a little bit of a dude. [01:14:36] Hold on. [01:14:38] Now the contact fucks me up. [01:14:39] I can't do the jokes are jokes, but when you're touching, it's like hilarious. [01:14:43] Yeah, it's funny. [01:14:43] We're not there. [01:14:44] Yeah, they're not talking about it. [01:14:46] I've been getting out with the HJ a lot lately. [01:14:48] Just like, no, You just got to like distract me and be like, dude, have you seen the skylight up here? [01:14:54] And you just go, whoop. [01:14:54] And just one time, you just stroke it as fast as you can without them noticing it. [01:14:58] And Al gets so uncomfortable. [01:15:00] He doesn't know how to handle it. [01:15:01] He doesn't know what to do. [01:15:02] No, we haven't. [01:15:03] We white guys play those games. [01:15:04] You can fucking us. [01:15:10] That's why I'm sitting over here. [01:15:12] Come over here. [01:15:14] Body blue. [01:15:15] Body black. [01:15:23] I said some gay joke with my dad one time and he goes, don't do that. [01:15:26] I go, what? [01:15:27] Makes my skin crawl. [01:15:32] Yeah, you have it. [01:15:33] Yeah. [01:15:33] Where's your dad from? [01:15:34] Indian immigrant. [01:15:38] Oh, he didn't even understand men were doing this at all. [01:15:40] He didn't even know white dudes are doing it in no fucking clothes. [01:15:42] Did you see the gay Indians lately? [01:15:44] There's been a whole like pro-LGBTQ like movement in Montalai. [01:15:49] Can you pull up the potato? [01:15:51] This has been all time. [01:15:52] The brothers are going to come out with the sticks. [01:15:55] Indians love fucking running around with sticks and hitting shit. [01:15:59] I got like 20 people that send me this. [01:16:01] What was that? [01:16:02] What was the thing that they were protesting when they were beating the people? [01:16:06] Yeah, there's a clip of a guy out during when we were supposed to be on lockdown. [01:16:09] Yeah. [01:16:09] And he's just out like riding his bike and then a cop is like, oh, yeah, yeah. [01:16:13] There's not one example. [01:16:14] It's every day. [01:16:15] It's a common day. [01:16:16] Yeah. [01:16:16] At all times. [01:16:17] There's my favorite. [01:16:19] I was going through like a phase in my life where I would watch just like jaguars in India, right? [01:16:25] It would be a jaguar, right? [01:16:26] The animal. [01:16:27] The leopard. [01:16:28] The leopard. [01:16:28] Yeah. [01:16:29] They get into Indian villages a lot, and it's chaos because there's fucking 9 billion of them. [01:16:35] Yeah. [01:16:35] The people. [01:16:37] Yeah. [01:16:37] You know what I mean? [01:16:37] The jaguar is going to just. [01:16:40] Go to town. [01:16:41] Please. [01:16:42] This is very exciting stuff. [01:16:43] But again, their only weapons against it are sticks. [01:16:47] Oh, no. [01:16:49] Can you start that from the beginning? [01:16:50] Because the first guy not paying attention and throwing the stick down is my favorite. [01:16:54] Yeah, I have seen this guy. [01:16:55] Get the mic out of here. [01:16:58] Came through the roof? [01:17:00] Came through the roof. [01:17:02] Holy shit. [01:17:04] Oh, shit. [01:17:04] Everybody has sticks. [01:17:06] I'm telling you, dude. [01:17:08] D-H-Mutant Ninja Turtles. [01:17:10] You seen the convenience store clip? [01:17:12] Hey, hey. [01:17:12] Dude, the life of Pie is more impressive now. [01:17:14] When you see this, bro. [01:17:16] He's just on a boat with them chilling. [01:17:17] That's crazy. [01:17:18] Yeah, you seen the convenience store clip in America where the black dude is like stealing all the cigarettes? [01:17:24] And the Punjabi guys, Punjabi guys come with the sticks and sticks. [01:17:27] Yo, you got to see this. [01:17:28] This shit is fire, dude. [01:17:30] Yeah. [01:17:31] This is one of the most satisfying clips on the internet. [01:17:33] Let's take it easy. [01:17:36] All right. [01:17:37] Man, it's true. [01:17:38] He's just taking cigarettes, right? [01:17:40] Just got a whole garbage can. [01:17:42] Yeah, I've been emptying the entire store. [01:17:45] And then the guy behind the counter is like, you can't do anything. [01:17:47] He's like an employee from America. [01:17:48] And then look at this Indian guy just chilling. [01:17:51] Oh, he's Punjabi. [01:17:52] Yeah, yeah, yeah. [01:17:53] So this guy's trying to hold it. [01:17:54] And then here comes the other one. [01:17:55] Oh, beat the shit out of this guy. [01:18:00] He's trying by the end of the clip, you know. [01:18:02] Yeah, sticks. [01:18:03] Dude, the over-the-head smash. [01:18:06] Fucking ECW. [01:18:09] Give me a chair, dude. [01:18:10] Double bullets. [01:18:11] All right, guys, let's take a break for a second. [01:18:12] I want to talk about one of the most healthy sources of protein on planet Earth, and that is bone broth. [01:18:19] Okay, Kettle and Fire has the best bone broth on the planet. [01:18:22] It's natural. [01:18:23] It's loaded with nutrients. [01:18:24] It's got gelatin and amino acids to support digestion, collagen to help prepare cartilage and support flexibility, immune health, and much more. [01:18:31] And one of the most delicious ways to drink bone broth is with Kettle and Fire. [01:18:36] Kettle and Fire. [01:18:36] That's it. [01:18:37] Right here. [01:18:37] Mark has been using it. [01:18:39] He's on his bone broth kick right now. [01:18:40] How's it been going for you? [01:18:41] I love it. [01:18:42] Easy on your tummy. [01:18:43] It makes you feel great. [01:18:44] I mean, nothing better. [01:18:44] People have been drinking this for thousands of years. [01:18:46] You know what, athlete? [01:18:47] Is that true? [01:18:47] Yeah. [01:18:48] Really? [01:18:49] Yeah, you take some bones, you put them in a pot, boil it up, drink it. [01:18:52] You know, the athlete used to drink bone broth every day. [01:18:54] Rest in peace, but it was Kobe, who was like the ultimate nutrition guy. [01:18:58] Yeah. [01:18:58] Well, listen, if you want to add some protein into your favorite dishes, kettle and fire is a perfect way to sneak it in. [01:19:03] Or if you're fasting, a little bone broth goes a long way to support an extended fast. [01:19:07] Obviously, Mark and Alex know all about that. [01:19:10] So, guys, if you want to join them, head over to kettleandfire.com/slash flagrant and use our code flagrant at checkout to get 20% off your first order. [01:19:18] Trust me right now, just start cooking your rice with this instead. [01:19:23] You're just adding that protein, adding all those natural, beautiful collagen, all the nutrients, delicious. [01:19:30] Go get it. [01:19:31] Get yourself healthy. [01:19:32] Remember, kettleandfire.com/slash flagrant, the code flagrant. [01:19:36] You're getting 20% off. [01:19:36] Now, let's get back to the show. [01:19:37] Yeah, just that model of the gay Indians. [01:19:39] It's awesome. [01:19:40] All right. [01:19:40] They turn those sticks into signs. [01:19:42] And now the signs just say, like, we're gay. [01:19:44] And then they're doing these protests, and it's just all time, dude. [01:19:48] Oh, it's awesome. [01:19:49] Hey, I am Alexis. [01:19:51] That's okay. [01:19:52] I'm bisexual. === Notre Dame Commentator Life (06:34) === [01:19:53] That's okay. [01:19:54] I'm from Tendon. [01:19:56] That's okay. [01:19:57] I am a good drop. [01:19:58] That's okay. [01:19:59] Was that one off? [01:20:00] You think I'm Hill? [01:20:02] Yeah, man. [01:20:04] That's okay. [01:20:05] This is good. [01:20:07] What are you talking about? [01:20:11] America has exported our culture to the soft pen. [01:20:16] Hey, don't worry. [01:20:17] They're going to snuff that out. [01:20:18] Don't worry about that. [01:20:19] Yeah, yeah. [01:20:21] It always, it's funny to me. [01:20:22] Like, comics can't make jokes in any how much we've exported our culture to like Australia had BLM. [01:20:30] Yeah. [01:20:30] Yeah, and they don't have a B. [01:20:33] They did. [01:20:33] They got rid of it. [01:20:36] Like, I was joking about it with my friend. [01:20:38] We were watching. [01:20:39] If you watch the Premier League, they take a knee. [01:20:42] Yeah, yeah, yeah. [01:20:43] And they're still doing it. [01:20:44] They're taking a knee before kickoff every time. [01:20:47] Well, they kind of need it over there. [01:20:48] Those boys get a little wild. [01:20:50] You go to Italy, you see some of those Italian games. [01:20:52] Oh, yeah, they're throwing the vegetable, the bananas or whatever. [01:20:55] Yeah, yeah, yeah. [01:20:57] That's crazy. [01:20:57] It's a little too much. [01:20:59] It's crazy. [01:20:59] Like putting that in the metal detector. [01:21:03] And the guy who's running the little TSA machine, he's seen it. [01:21:06] He's like, man, this is going to get interesting. [01:21:09] Throw it out. [01:21:10] I fucking scan it. [01:21:12] I know you have a banana. [01:21:13] I want you to throw it at Mario Balotelli. [01:21:18] Sound a message. [01:21:20] Compliments of the WAPs. [01:21:24] Yeah, some of those leagues need it. [01:21:25] Some of them. [01:21:26] Australia, I don't know. [01:21:27] I don't think it helps. [01:21:28] What do you mean? [01:21:29] Like, it doesn't seem to be helping the racism issue. [01:21:32] If I was a guy who was going to throw a banana at an Italian soccer player, a knee-and they took a knee before the game. [01:21:38] I wouldn't be like, you know what? [01:21:41] Just eat it. [01:21:44] What was I thinking? [01:21:45] Yeah, yeah, yeah. [01:21:46] I don't know. [01:21:46] Is I'm trying to find the best days. [01:21:51] Is that the equivalent to America like the obsession? [01:21:54] Is that like college football or like college sports in general? [01:21:57] Is that the closest we have to European football? [01:22:00] Or you didn't go to a college and you still care about it? [01:22:02] No, no, no, no. [01:22:02] Not even that. [01:22:03] Just like what'd you say? [01:22:05] There's nothing wrong with that. [01:22:07] Notre Dame did. [01:22:08] Notre Dame all day. [01:22:09] Yeah. [01:22:10] You never just wanted to go? [01:22:12] Yeah. [01:22:12] Did you apply? [01:22:13] No, I would because I was going to play football and I couldn't get in there. [01:22:17] Yeah. [01:22:17] You played in our Navy, right? [01:22:19] Army. [01:22:19] Army, my boy. [01:22:20] Because they played Notre Dame. [01:22:22] Oh. [01:22:22] So you would have to do it. [01:22:23] I would play in the stadium. [01:22:25] Actually, I think my senior year would have been Notre Dame Army in Yankee Stadium. [01:22:30] Holy shit. [01:22:31] That would have been. [01:22:32] Oh, fuck. [01:22:33] Would have got killed by Notre Dame. [01:22:36] Would have been an honor. [01:22:38] But no, it turns out I sucked. [01:22:41] Why were you a note? [01:22:42] Is it just being Catholic? [01:22:43] Is everybody Catholic? [01:22:44] Notre Dame fan is at the end. [01:22:45] Yeah. [01:22:46] You were a tackle, right? [01:22:47] Yeah. [01:22:48] Yeah, it makes sense. [01:22:48] But it was my grandpa and cousin played for him. [01:22:52] Ah, so this is like a link. [01:22:54] My whole family. [01:22:54] But either way, everybody. [01:22:55] Like, I went to a Catholic school in Pennsylvania. [01:22:58] So everybody that was Catholic, like Notre Dame. [01:23:00] If you're Protestant, you like Penn State. [01:23:02] Oh. [01:23:03] So it really is Italy. [01:23:04] That's Scotland or any of these places. [01:23:07] Like, yeah. [01:23:09] I think in Scotland, it's like Rangers and Celtic is divided by Catholics and Protestant. [01:23:12] Yeah. [01:23:13] Celtic rules. [01:23:14] Yeah, they do. [01:23:15] 100%. [01:23:16] Kirby, what are you thinking, my boy? [01:23:17] Nothing. [01:23:18] You're into more refined sports, like, you know, this golf and are you a golf fan watching? [01:23:23] Like he watched, yes, you could be a commentator. [01:23:28] I expressed the shame that I wanted to like. [01:23:31] We were sitting in a bar watching golf, and he's like, I would like to be a commentator. [01:23:34] And uh, Happy Gilmore too came out. [01:23:37] We couldn't know the game well enough to talk about it. [01:23:39] Not at all, not at all. [01:23:41] No shot. [01:23:42] I said, Go ahead, commentate. [01:23:45] There was no sound on the TV. [01:23:46] So I was like, Go ahead, just commentate right now. [01:23:48] And he was like, And I think that's Brooks Kepka. [01:23:55] Yeah, we can give it a screen. [01:23:58] No, that would probably suck. [01:23:59] Yeah, Bram Roar. [01:24:00] There was a guy that was hammered. [01:24:02] Do you remember him? [01:24:03] That guy was my favorite guy ever. [01:24:04] And you're just drawing attention to us. [01:24:09] There was a hammered guy next to us at the bar. [01:24:10] It's like 2 p.m. [01:24:13] Yeah. [01:24:13] We're at the bar. [01:24:15] And then Steve leaves. [01:24:16] No, because you were telling me to golf commentate. [01:24:18] And then he and then he jumped in. [01:24:20] Yeah, But then he comes back. [01:24:24] Steve left, came back, and I was still at a different bar, and the drunk guy was there again at another bar. [01:24:31] And we watched as the bartender walked over out of nowhere, slammed the guy's tab on the table, and said, Get the fuck out of here, you piece of shit. [01:24:41] The guy, who wasn't doing anything wrong, he was just blacked out. [01:24:44] He just goes, What? [01:24:54] He couldn't believe it. [01:24:55] And then we watched him figure out, should he tip? [01:25:00] We saw him fill it out and then go, that's a tough moment. [01:25:07] Oh, yeah. [01:25:08] You've been kicked out. [01:25:10] He was the kick out. [01:25:11] Yeah, I've probably was a bouncer back in the day. [01:25:14] I've definitely gone to a bar and they've been like, No, can't even come in. [01:25:18] All right. [01:25:20] But then he was trying to fill out the tip and they're like, I didn't kick one person out. [01:25:26] We went to the Ryan's Public. [01:25:27] What's it called? [01:25:27] Ryan's Pub. [01:25:28] Yeah. [01:25:29] So you were there for you were working for a year. [01:25:30] I was a bouncer there for a year. [01:25:32] Not a single person. [01:25:34] Not one. [01:25:37] I didn't turn down one ID. [01:25:41] Every single kid got into that bar. [01:25:44] I don't mean to fuck Ryan's pub, but they hit me up front. [01:25:47] The kids were literally handing me like Metro cards. [01:25:49] Student IDs. [01:25:50] Yeah. [01:25:50] Like their Westchester Rams card. [01:25:52] I'd be like, that works. [01:25:58] Oh, man. [01:25:59] It is a good pub. [01:26:00] It's the best. [01:26:00] I miss it. [01:26:01] So, Gerb, you're never moving out of Pennsylvania, huh? [01:26:03] No, no shot. [01:26:05] Or at least I guess his commentating gig. [01:26:06] You ever want to see him commentate a whole? [01:26:08] No, I was all suck. [01:26:10] It's going to be awful. [01:26:11] No, fantastic. [01:26:12] Let's just bring it out. [01:26:13] I would be here. [01:26:15] I would be colored. [01:26:16] You were there. [01:26:17] Oh, never mind. [01:26:18] It's last year. [01:26:18] Yeah. [01:26:19] Scotty Scheffler. [01:26:21] Yeah. [01:26:21] Here we go. [01:26:21] And go. [01:26:22] Scotty Shuffler. === MLS Fans And Trans Banners (07:24) === [01:26:27] What do you do? [01:26:29] No, this is good golf commentation. [01:26:31] Okay, here we go. [01:26:32] Here we go. [01:26:32] He's stepping off. [01:26:37] Tony things. [01:26:37] Look at him. [01:26:38] I would be. [01:26:39] If I was actually commenting, I'd be listening to Dotty Pepper right now. [01:26:42] Okay, I'd be like, what's going on, Dotty? [01:26:44] And then she'd be like, what are they thinking? [01:26:46] She would tell me because she's saying, Can you please do it? [01:26:49] Okay. [01:26:50] I'm doing it. [01:26:51] You don't do much. [01:26:52] That's the point. [01:26:54] Here we go. [01:26:55] Okay. [01:27:03] You want to watch golf? [01:27:05] Oh, it's long. [01:27:08] She's buying. [01:27:10] Sign up on lib. [01:27:11] Let him sign him on lib. [01:27:13] That was unbelievable. [01:27:15] That was unbelievable. [01:27:17] That was great. [01:27:18] Whoever did this. [01:27:19] Top announcers. [01:27:20] You guys have your favorite announcers? [01:27:21] I said, Dottie Pepper. [01:27:22] He's fantastic. [01:27:24] You have a big platform here. [01:27:27] Jim Mannis. [01:27:29] Obviously, Jim Mans is Jim Mance. [01:27:32] What about Marv Albert? [01:27:34] Yeah, Marv. [01:27:35] Come on. [01:27:35] That's great. [01:27:37] Who was the guy that was? [01:27:39] Can you do it? [01:27:39] Who was the guy that was Onions? [01:27:40] You can do it. [01:27:43] I can't do it. [01:27:44] Who was the guy who commentated the tournament? [01:27:46] Marshall Mannis. [01:27:47] That guy. [01:27:48] I forget his name. [01:27:49] He was the fucking best. [01:27:50] Oh, yeah. [01:27:51] A little kiss off the glass. [01:27:54] Onions. [01:27:56] Oh, Gus. [01:27:57] Gus Johnson in college football. [01:27:58] Isn't that his name Gus Johnson? [01:28:00] I don't know how College Swords is. [01:28:01] Oh, he's. [01:28:01] Can you, Miles? [01:28:02] Favorite of all time is. [01:28:03] Get some Gus going. [01:28:04] Give us some audio. [01:28:05] That guy goes. [01:28:05] My favorite of all time is actually Madden him. [01:28:07] Yeah, me too. [01:28:07] Me too. [01:28:09] The greatest. [01:28:09] And obviously. [01:28:10] I grew up in the 90s watching the Cowboys, and he would always be doing the Cowboys because that's when they were actually good. [01:28:15] So it was just like mind-blowing. [01:28:16] This guy be doing these things at the time. [01:28:18] Oh, the sweat stains down the line in trade. [01:28:20] It's so funny to us. [01:28:21] The greatest is Ray Hudson in soccer. [01:28:25] I don't know Ray Hudson. [01:28:26] Isn't it Ray Hudson? [01:28:27] You're going to love this. [01:28:28] I've never heard of Ray Hudson player. [01:28:29] He's a Scottish guy that's just, he was obsessed with Messi. [01:28:33] He called La Liga, and he just the way he would like, Ronaldo, he's got the DNA of a Bengal tiger. [01:28:43] It was crazy how good he was. [01:28:45] Yeah, get him going. [01:28:47] Like a Jedi Knight. [01:28:49] Better than that. [01:28:50] Exemplar Knight. [01:28:52] Out of this world, Benini Sculpture. [01:28:58] Clive Tilsley was like this little bit of it. [01:28:59] He was great. [01:29:00] Coffee bitch without sledgehammer. [01:29:02] That's the American base of this ledge. [01:29:04] From misery? [01:29:07] You ever hear Americans try to comment soccer? [01:29:09] I hate it so much. [01:29:11] Wait, why? [01:29:11] It just sucks. [01:29:12] Because they use soccer terminology, too. [01:29:15] They're like, oh, they look good out on the pitch. [01:29:17] Oh, they're trying to be too professional. [01:29:20] They're trying to be English. [01:29:21] If they're American, that'd be kind of nice. [01:29:24] MLS fans. [01:29:25] They suck. [01:29:26] Wait, why? [01:29:27] They try to be British. [01:29:28] Oh, they're like doing the British champions. [01:29:29] They're trying to chant like that. [01:29:30] And also, they're all like LGBT. [01:29:36] Wait, really? [01:29:37] Yeah. [01:29:37] Yeah. [01:29:38] Is it because girl soccer is more popular in America? [01:29:41] No, I don't know. [01:29:42] I think just the only people that like soccer in America are kind of a lib fan base. [01:29:47] Super lit. [01:29:48] And I don't know why, but it is that way. [01:29:50] Like, I went to an Austin FC game and they just put up like a giant trans banner. [01:29:56] Like, all right. [01:29:57] You meet a dude in a polyamorous relationship. [01:29:58] He loves like the Portland Timbers. [01:30:00] He's a Portland Timbers. [01:30:00] He's a diehard Portland Timbers. [01:30:02] He's an Xbox jersey. [01:30:03] Seattle Sounders jersey. [01:30:05] Him and his three girlfriends just love the team. [01:30:08] What about the LA teams? [01:30:10] You get the Mexicans in there. [01:30:12] They're going to talk about the ball. [01:30:13] Yeah. [01:30:15] We're all fashioned. [01:30:16] Yeah, yeah. [01:30:16] Bananas in the game finally. [01:30:21] But everyone else is very gay. [01:30:22] I don't know. [01:30:23] I never knew this. [01:30:24] Yeah. [01:30:25] Yeah. [01:30:25] It's a weird thing. [01:30:26] I'm just saying. [01:30:28] You can literally, Miles. [01:30:29] You can type in MLS fans and you're going to see. [01:30:32] Yeah, just through Google images. [01:30:33] It's going to be out of shape. [01:30:37] You'll see. [01:30:40] Here's Austin tossing up the fucking. [01:30:43] I think Austin got a player that was, he was a South American guy that was obviously wasn't with the gay shit. [01:30:52] And one night they were supposed to wear like pride jerseys. [01:30:55] He was like, fuck no. [01:30:56] My knee hurt too. [01:30:57] And then the fans turned on him. [01:30:59] No. [01:30:59] And they spent a ton of money to get him. [01:31:01] And the fans turned on him. [01:31:02] We're like, we fucking hate this guy. [01:31:04] And they had to trade him. [01:31:05] Wow. [01:31:07] MLS fans gay. [01:31:11] I mean, it's kind of funny. [01:31:12] If they leaned into the gay vibes, like if they had gay chance and everything, that'd be funny. [01:31:16] Then the games would be worth going to. [01:31:17] You know what I mean? [01:31:18] Arsenal does it too, though. [01:31:19] Like the MLS or Liverpool. [01:31:21] Soccer does it. [01:31:22] I was watching an Arsenal game. [01:31:23] They score a goal right behind the goal. [01:31:25] Just a giant fucking trans flag started to wave. [01:31:28] That was like their celebration. [01:31:30] Like part of the, like, it wasn't like a fan. [01:31:32] It was like the section for that. [01:31:36] They're trying to get in the other team's head, I think. [01:31:38] That would fuck me up. [01:31:39] They see most of the law coming down. [01:31:40] They're like, oh, this, this, again, so, what, what is that? [01:31:46] Like, each team has to represent some like identity out there. [01:31:50] Is that the idea? [01:31:51] In England? [01:31:52] No, well, I guess in England, yeah. [01:31:54] But like, isn't that kind of what happens? [01:31:56] Like, then, um, like we were talking about with religion, like, the Protestants have a team, the Catholics have a team, the Jews have a turn. [01:32:03] The trans have Arsenal. [01:32:05] You're a Tottenham guy. [01:32:06] Oh, where? [01:32:07] You like Tottenham. [01:32:08] Okay. [01:32:08] Well, what do they do? [01:32:09] What do they have? [01:32:10] Jews. [01:32:11] Jews? [01:32:16] Yeah. [01:32:16] Chelsea and the Russians for a while. [01:32:18] That's pretty sick. [01:32:19] Yeah, it's kind of tight. [01:32:20] But then they force him to sell it. [01:32:21] Yeah. [01:32:22] That's right. [01:32:22] It's kind of wild. [01:32:23] That's crazy. [01:32:24] It's kind of crazy. [01:32:26] They just say you have to sell this because you have relationships with oligarch. [01:32:30] Yeah. [01:32:30] Wow. [01:32:31] They didn't know he was a Russian oligarch when he paid $2 billion for the fucking idea and thumped another billion into it. [01:32:36] That seems like convenient timing, right? [01:32:38] Yeah, yeah. [01:32:38] Yeah, they force him to make billions of dollars. [01:32:40] He was like flying. [01:32:41] And nothing happened at Man City, who's owned by what he had, right? [01:32:46] Yeah. [01:32:47] And then what is it called? [01:32:48] Qatar does as a Paris PSG. [01:32:51] Yeah, it's PSG, right? [01:32:53] Yeah. [01:32:53] But I think that's different as sponsorships versus like the owner of the team being a guy. [01:32:58] Just paying to be on the jersey. [01:33:00] Yeah. [01:33:00] How do you feel about that? [01:33:01] I see that now in like the NBA jerseys. [01:33:03] They're starting to do like a little bit of sponsorship. [01:33:05] Oh, they're going to love it. [01:33:06] I don't like this. [01:33:08] I thought I would hate it a lot more. [01:33:09] There's some that I like. [01:33:10] Yeah. [01:33:11] I like OKC's. [01:33:12] Wow, what is it? [01:33:13] It's Love's Truck Stop. [01:33:14] Oh, yeah. [01:33:14] It's fire. [01:33:16] It's just if it's the brands we like. [01:33:19] Burger King did it a genius one. [01:33:20] What did they do? [01:33:21] So Burger King found a loophole in the FIFA games. [01:33:24] And so they sponsored like the worst team in the third division in the English Premier League. [01:33:28] Like the worst, literally, like they were 0-20. [01:33:32] Oh, shit. [01:33:32] And then you can trade for the other player. [01:33:34] And then in FIFA, you can put Ronaldo in that jersey in Ultimate Team. [01:33:39] And so now they are just reposting Ronaldo wearing the Burger King jersey. [01:33:43] And for like $20,000, they got Messi, Ronaldo, everyone wearing the Burger King jersey. [01:33:48] Kind of genius. [01:33:49] But it's a video game? [01:33:50] Yeah, in FIFA. === Chandler Masters Song Singing (14:25) === [01:33:52] Interesting. [01:33:52] Oh, you're really punching a hole in his story. [01:33:56] We all knew that part of it, and we're just going to let him have it. [01:34:00] He's a genius. [01:34:01] Don't do that. [01:34:01] Don't do that. [01:34:05] His genius is. [01:34:06] $20,000. [01:34:07] Yeah. [01:34:08] He does this for free. [01:34:09] Yeah, you can do this on AI Robinson. [01:34:14] Yeah. [01:34:14] What the fuck are we talking about? [01:34:16] I'm sorry, you guys don't have business. [01:34:18] I'm sorry. [01:34:18] You guys don't understand marketing and brands. [01:34:23] And it's a video game. [01:34:26] It is. [01:34:27] It was stupid. [01:34:27] It's Dorian Song. [01:34:30] Fucking let him have it. [01:34:31] You don't call it out. [01:34:33] I'm going to have you. [01:34:36] They don't know what they're talking about. [01:34:39] I'm going to find that video. [01:34:40] Dad was condescending because he didn't mean that. [01:34:42] I'm going to find your turn videos in the game. [01:34:44] You can't just do like AI stuff. [01:34:46] There's got to be someone like copyright loophole. [01:34:50] Yeah. [01:34:50] You know? [01:34:50] Kirby, you're a little bit of a bully, too. [01:34:52] You know? [01:34:52] Oh, yeah. [01:34:53] He's been bullying me. [01:34:53] I think you're a little bit of a bully. [01:34:54] He hasn't talked about it. [01:34:56] Sometimes I'm starting to think that Shane might just be surviving over here when he has to fight back. [01:35:01] I think he's, you know, he's busy getting punched down on by you a little bit. [01:35:03] The Gourban dock's going to drop soon, dude. [01:35:05] I'm talking about it. [01:35:05] Oh, yeah. [01:35:06] Surviving Gerben. [01:35:07] Surviving. [01:35:08] Ellen, yeah. [01:35:09] He's a little allening. [01:35:11] I'm like, oh, let's dance. [01:35:14] Five girls do. [01:35:15] He's like, shut the fuck up. [01:35:16] We made a tuna sandwich. [01:35:19] Oh, man. [01:35:21] Got on a plane. [01:35:23] This is what I do for this guy. [01:35:26] On a private jet to the Masters. [01:35:28] I don't give a fuck about golf. [01:35:29] You guys went to the Masters. [01:35:30] We're at the Masters. [01:35:31] It was dog shit. [01:35:32] It sucked. [01:35:36] But we're flying back, and he's definitely so afraid of flying. [01:35:40] Oh, really? [01:35:41] We get on the plane, and he's like, I'm just going to get off. [01:35:45] I'm going to drive. [01:35:46] I'm going to drive from Georgia. [01:35:47] He started hyperventilating. [01:35:49] I was like, dude, just fucking chill, whatever. [01:35:51] And then I was like, would it help if I just started blasting some Drake right now? [01:35:56] And he was like, no, Drake sucks on fucking name. [01:35:59] You're flying all the fucking time. [01:36:03] I like nasty bugs. [01:36:07] You're not a pan of Drizzy Gerbs. [01:36:09] No, no, no. [01:36:10] No, he only listens to Pirates of the Caribbean soundtrack. [01:36:12] No, that's not true. [01:36:13] I did read that in the book. [01:36:14] That's actually true. [01:36:15] You will listen to the Pirates of the Caribbean soundtrack. [01:36:18] Yeah, we have researchers. [01:36:19] Jesus, this is serious. [01:36:20] We're serious turtles. [01:36:22] This is the sky. [01:36:22] Bum, bum, bum. [01:36:24] How's that theme song going? [01:36:27] Larry Davis. [01:36:33] I pull that pirate shit out. [01:36:35] I'm proud of it. [01:36:35] I'm not that far off. [01:36:39] No, that's actually. [01:36:42] Damn, I keep falling from bench. [01:36:45] If you do play, I tried to make fun of him for Pirates of the Caribbean. [01:36:48] I listened to it, and I was like, Miles, miles. [01:36:55] Call some pirates on Facebook. [01:36:57] There's certain things just very gettable. [01:37:01] Clear eyes, full hearts. [01:37:03] Yeah. [01:37:04] Think of jacking off in a dining room. [01:37:06] I'm not getting far off, dude. [01:37:11] Oh, the Gerb is throwing the pillow down. [01:37:14] You get the knee pillow going. [01:37:17] You're fucking out of here. [01:37:18] You're fucking out of here, dude. [01:37:20] That's what I am going to do with some of the money that you've effectively given me is I'm going to go to a Hans Zimmer concert. [01:37:25] Oh, that looks awesome. [01:37:27] Yeah. [01:37:27] The Hans Zimmer concert looks fire. [01:37:29] I don't like the activities he does. [01:37:31] No, he doesn't. [01:37:32] What are the activities? [01:37:33] On the way here, he was like, no, I'd like to go to the Friends Museum. [01:37:39] What's it called? [01:37:40] The Friends Experience? [01:37:41] No, I said if there wasn't a line. [01:37:42] Oh, the Friends Experience. [01:37:44] There wasn't a line. [01:37:45] Yeah. [01:37:46] There wasn't. [01:37:47] I was scary. [01:37:49] I didn't even know there was a lot of people. [01:37:50] On the car here. [01:37:52] Him saying, I'd like to go to the Friends Extreme. [01:37:56] I'm just sitting in the car. [01:37:58] I'm with you on that. [01:37:58] Yeah. [01:37:59] I fucking hate this guy. [01:38:02] Then he goes, like friends. [01:38:05] I thought I was Chandler. [01:38:06] I was Chandler and my cousin Joe was Joey. [01:38:09] He grew up thinking he was Chandler from Friends. [01:38:11] Well, you know, you're not thinking I was Chandler. [01:38:13] You didn't even want to be Chandler. [01:38:15] Who else is? [01:38:16] I wish you were Chandler. [01:38:27] I take it back because I'm definitely more likely to die in a hot tub than you are. [01:38:32] I'm definitely going to die in a hot tub. [01:38:35] Okay, okay. [01:38:37] What other activities do you like to do in New York that would drive Shane fucking crazy? [01:38:42] Bike. [01:38:43] Okay. [01:38:44] Hold on. [01:38:44] For a bike ride. [01:38:45] No, he does bike. [01:38:46] No, no, I believe obviously you're in the car. [01:38:48] Guess what he wears? [01:38:48] He wears a fucking car. [01:38:49] No, you don't wear the whole fucking unicorn. [01:38:51] He does. [01:38:52] Do you have the professional bike? [01:38:53] People think I'm bullying it. [01:38:55] I'm helping this man. [01:38:56] He fucking wears a spade of the padded padded ashes with the clicky sheet. [01:39:03] And he's not that good at riding bikes. [01:39:05] So he's wearing this full unit. [01:39:06] It's like wearing a fucking full basketball uniform to play. [01:39:11] Do you have sponsors on it? [01:39:12] No, no, no. [01:39:13] Hold on, hold on. [01:39:14] So you enjoy biking. [01:39:16] If you had 48 hours to just drive fucking Shane crazy in New York City, so you would take him biking. [01:39:20] You go to the friends experience, yeah. [01:39:22] Friend experience, I would that would be a problem. [01:39:24] Okay, I would not be happy. [01:39:26] Why? [01:39:26] Why? [01:39:26] You don't want to sit on the same couch? [01:39:28] I think it would make me sad. [01:39:31] Why would it make me sad? [01:39:31] To see the people that are excited. [01:39:32] Why would it make him sad? [01:39:34] To see the people, like your friends. [01:39:36] People that are excited. [01:39:37] If I watch Steve, like, Paul, look at this is the couch. [01:39:42] This is the couch. [01:39:43] I would be like, oh, man. [01:39:47] I wanted to see the couch. [01:39:50] I knew he was. [01:39:55] There's a chair, too, dude. [01:39:56] You can go to different spots. [01:39:58] You go to the chairs. [01:39:58] You're going to get the chair. [01:39:59] That's kind of how it was at the Masters. [01:40:00] Yeah. [01:40:02] It's not as bad. [01:40:03] The Masters is better than Friends. [01:40:05] Yeah. [01:40:05] Hot dogs are like a quarter or something like that. [01:40:08] Someone recognized you. [01:40:11] You hated it. [01:40:11] And then everybody at the Masters. [01:40:13] Like, I'm a fan. [01:40:14] That's all. [01:40:16] That's all it took. [01:40:16] 40 before you went was like, it was awesome. [01:40:22] Like, it's beautiful. [01:40:23] And it's, it's, you know, it's the fucking Masters. [01:40:25] So you walk in, you're like, this is awesome. [01:40:27] And then after an hour, you go, oh, it's, it's fucking golf. [01:40:31] Yeah. [01:40:32] And you can't see a single thing. [01:40:34] And there's no phones. [01:40:34] You're not allowed to have a phone. [01:40:36] So, like, you just got to look at the scoreboard that somebody's like manually like he got a two on that last one. [01:40:42] You go, oh, survey nice of like my life now is we lost him. [01:40:48] Then we saw JJY walking by. [01:40:49] I was like, JJ. [01:40:50] And then he didn't say that. [01:40:51] He came in. [01:40:52] He was like, tires, right? [01:40:52] I was like, yeah, yeah. [01:40:53] Have you seen Shane? [01:40:54] You know, like, wait, you, you said hi to JJ. [01:40:58] Yeah. [01:40:58] And then JJ. [01:40:59] It's a surreal thing that he knows who I am. [01:41:01] I mean, people know you're the number one show on Netflix. [01:41:03] You're the massive car. [01:41:04] You're in the game friends. [01:41:05] You're in the new friends. [01:41:06] You're in the new friends. [01:41:07] You're friends. [01:41:07] You are Channel. [01:41:08] You're in the Chandler. [01:41:09] But everybody's a bit more Tom Cruise. [01:41:12] Is he Chandler? [01:41:13] Yeah. [01:41:13] You do have a Tom Carson. [01:41:14] I'm trying to name drops. [01:41:15] You do have a Tom Cruise energy to you. [01:41:17] I will say. [01:41:18] Thank you. [01:41:19] You're a leather jacket, Tom Cruise guy. [01:41:21] What's it? [01:41:21] You're a leather jacket, Tom Cruise. [01:41:23] If I look like Tom Cruise, I would wear those leather jackets. [01:41:25] Yes. [01:41:26] Would you ever run into the room on your socks and slide? [01:41:29] Oh, absolutely. [01:41:30] God, yes. [01:41:30] Give me. [01:41:31] Yes. [01:41:32] You got to jump on the couch. [01:41:34] Oh, dude. [01:41:35] You don't slide in socks? [01:41:36] 100%. [01:41:37] Right. [01:41:37] I've slowed down on my sliding on socks. [01:41:40] I'm taking it easy. [01:41:41] That's a tough fall. [01:41:42] Wait. [01:41:43] It's a shattered collarbone. [01:41:45] Wait, are you a huge Tom Cruise fan? [01:41:48] I wouldn't, like, I really like Tom. [01:41:49] I'm not a huge fan. [01:41:50] Like, I would, you know, I don't talk about it. [01:41:53] You just remind me of him. [01:41:54] Okay. [01:41:54] But I really do like Tom. [01:41:56] What qualities remind you of Honk? [01:41:58] Honk. [01:41:59] Okay. [01:42:00] Leading Man. [01:42:00] Definitely has Leading Man Hunks, without a doubt. [01:42:02] Leading Man Hunk. [01:42:03] Leading Man. [01:42:05] Hey, you know what Tom does sometimes on a movie set? [01:42:08] At the end, he'll get like a cappuccino bar that he brings in just for all the people who have worked so hard on the scene, just as a nice way to show his appreciation. [01:42:17] Might be a thing that a superstar like you does at the end of season three of tires. [01:42:20] I'm just saying. [01:42:21] Sure. [01:42:21] What did you do at the end of this season? [01:42:22] What was your gift to the crew? [01:42:24] Nothing. [01:42:25] I got to give people gifts. [01:42:26] Yeah. [01:42:26] Where'd you get them? [01:42:28] Individually? [01:42:29] You didn't give me anything. [01:42:30] Yeah, I did. [01:42:31] What'd you get, Shane? [01:42:33] So you know that? [01:42:34] Do you remember? [01:42:35] Oh, he doesn't remember the gift I got. [01:42:38] I got him over there. [01:42:39] We had a fan. [01:42:41] Stop it. [01:42:42] Stop, man. [01:42:42] What do you do? [01:42:43] What'd you get him? [01:42:44] Oh, there was a blueprint of the drawings for what the architect made to turn the place into a shop. [01:42:55] That's basically what he picked. [01:42:56] Yeah, it was coming to life. [01:42:58] So, like, cool piece of memorability. [01:43:00] Yeah. [01:43:00] That's awesome. [01:43:01] That's a really thoughtful gift. [01:43:02] What'd you get for Gerbs? [01:43:03] Besides forgetting the gift he got you. [01:43:05] He got me. [01:43:06] I got him a TV show on Netflix. [01:43:10] And I took him to the Masters. [01:43:12] I feel like that's pretty nice. [01:43:14] He's unreal. [01:43:15] I feel like he's a nice friend. [01:43:17] I'll never in a million years be able to do anything remotely that nice for somebody. [01:43:21] Yeah, it's incredible. [01:43:23] I got to take you to the Friends Museum. [01:43:26] I don't even want to go now. [01:43:28] Why not? [01:43:29] Would you go without me? [01:43:30] Yes. [01:43:31] No, you can't. [01:43:32] You got to go with us. [01:43:33] Absolutely. [01:43:33] I would go without him. [01:43:33] You would ditch Shane while you guys were in New York together to go to the Friends Museum. [01:43:36] He's going to ditch me. [01:43:37] Of course. [01:43:38] No, no, no, no. [01:43:39] Take him. [01:43:40] You guys get a picture together on the couch. [01:43:46] Reenact a scene. [01:43:47] That could be fun. [01:43:48] He doesn't watch Friends. [01:43:49] I don't watch Francis. [01:43:50] Who would he be in Friends? [01:43:52] I don't know. [01:43:52] You can be Chandler. [01:43:53] I don't think I'm any of those. [01:43:54] Could you be able to do that? [01:44:00] Yeah, I don't think you match up to anybody. [01:44:03] No. [01:44:04] No one does on Earth. [01:44:06] You don't match up to any of those people. [01:44:09] No one yaks on. [01:44:11] I'm not going to match up to Swimmer. [01:44:12] You think you're more of a David Schwimmer? [01:44:14] Yeah, in my older age. [01:44:16] I can see that. [01:44:17] I see it. [01:44:19] I see it. [01:44:21] You actually kind of look like him a little. [01:44:22] Yeah, you got a little swimmer in him. [01:44:23] You got a little shimmer. [01:44:24] Yeah, you look good, man. [01:44:25] You look handsome. [01:44:26] All right. [01:44:28] I want you all to go watch Tires. [01:44:30] Oh, thank you. [01:44:31] June 5th. [01:44:32] We're making it number one again. [01:44:34] And you're so good in it. [01:44:35] And thank you. [01:44:36] Thank you guys for having me. [01:44:37] Thank you for doing it. [01:44:38] Oh, dude, stop it, dude. [01:44:39] It was awesome. [01:44:40] You and Tommy. [01:44:41] Tommy's fucking great. [01:44:43] And McKeever's great. [01:44:44] And thank you guys for letting me be part of it. [01:44:45] I really appreciate that. [01:44:47] And I can't wait for season three. [01:44:49] I mean, that's a, if you guys, I assume, are going to keep doing this. [01:44:53] No? [01:44:53] Well, we hopefully, yeah, that'd be cool. [01:44:55] Yeah. [01:44:55] I mean, they're going to say yes. [01:44:57] It's a fucking nightmare. [01:44:59] You think it just keeps on getting crazier? [01:45:01] What do you think was the biggest adjustment his attitude from season one to two? [01:45:05] But he could tell you it's out of control. [01:45:07] I mean, the robe, the fucking one robe. [01:45:11] He would get in the morning with hair and makeup and he would sing. [01:45:14] What would you say? [01:45:15] Just whatever we're singing. [01:45:17] You know, they have songs. [01:45:18] All those people have to be nice to him. [01:45:19] He's the fucking man. [01:45:20] Yeah, yeah. [01:45:21] So he comes, he's like, oh, come on, girls. [01:45:22] Let's sing a little song. [01:45:23] I don't say, come on, girls, let's sing a little song. [01:45:25] The song's on. [01:45:26] You know, they're nice people. [01:45:32] You know that. [01:45:39] So, you know, we had a good time. [01:45:41] And I wore a robe once. [01:45:43] I literally left the thing with the safety pin in it. [01:45:46] I was like, I'll never wear that. [01:45:47] If Shane sees me in that, I'm fucking done for. [01:45:50] And then there was like an underwear situation. [01:45:52] Something happened in one of these costumes. [01:45:54] I had to put it on. [01:45:54] He saw me. [01:45:55] And then I haven't lived there. [01:45:57] The days where you and Shane are not in scenes together and like you don't see him. [01:46:00] What are those days? [01:46:00] I find out about it. [01:46:01] And it's crazy. [01:46:03] Yeah. [01:46:05] Just the way he's totally different when I'm not there. [01:46:07] Yeah. [01:46:07] Really? [01:46:08] He becomes Tom Carlton. [01:46:10] Comfortable. [01:46:10] Yeah. [01:46:12] You're acting, you're singing. [01:46:14] Yeah, we did. [01:46:14] He's a fucking theater kid. [01:46:16] You fucking sing off camera. [01:46:19] He's like, whoa, that is fucking crazy. [01:46:24] What did they tell me? [01:46:25] And I get there the next day and they go, Steve was singing with us. [01:46:28] I got Chris. [01:46:29] The casting crew was singing yesterday. [01:46:31] And I was like, well, the show's done. [01:46:33] I'm making this. [01:46:35] What do you want to say? [01:46:36] We were singing a whole new world. [01:46:40] Dude, this guy loves. [01:46:41] It's like a whole new world over here. [01:46:43] Yeah. [01:46:47] Mark, you're singing like that. [01:46:48] I feel like there's only one way to end this podcast right now. [01:46:51] Are you going to do it? [01:46:53] Are we going to do it? [01:46:53] No, I don't want to do it. [01:46:55] No, no, no. [01:46:56] My crew's going to be over if we do it. [01:46:58] No, this is fun. [01:46:59] Do you want to be Jasmine? [01:47:00] I don't want to do this at all. [01:47:01] No, no, no. [01:47:02] This will be fun. [01:47:03] Just we do it regularly. [01:47:05] Mark, take us away. [01:47:06] Well, everyone's got to join it. [01:47:07] To show you the world. [01:47:14] When did you last one? [01:47:18] QW video. [01:47:20] It was a whole new world. [01:47:23] I swung under by wonder, over sideways and under, on a magic carpet ride, a whole new world. [01:47:37] I said we're only dreaming. [01:47:43] A whole new world. [01:47:48] series. [01:47:49] Word of the subtitles. [01:48:00] Tires, June 5th. [01:48:02] Go check out Shane on Tour right now. [01:48:05] I think you just released more dates I saw. [01:48:07] So go check out those. [01:48:08] Go to Dale City. [01:48:09] Buy some fucking tickets. [01:48:10] Let's do it. [01:48:11] See you in OKC June 5th. [01:48:14] We're running it up. [01:48:15] Guys, thank you so much for being on Twitter. [01:48:17] Love you, dog. [01:48:17] Peace.