Flagrant - Andrew Schulz & Akaash Singh - OnlyFans Girl Takes on 1000 Dudes & How to Fix British Grooming Gangs w/ Adam Rowe
Aired: 2025-02-05
Duration: 01:56:34


=== British Politeness vs Gangs (04:56) ===

[00:00:00]  What's up everybody welcome flagrant and today we have one of my favorites man we got Adam Rowe back and listen we heard you in town we want you to come on the pod naturally but um there are some things that we need to get to the bottom to that are happening in Great Britain right now.
[00:00:17]  Okay, okay.
[00:00:18]  It seems like there's two problems that could solve one another.
[00:00:22]  There's like a couple British girls that are trying to like f ⁇ the most people in a day and then there's like gangster.
[00:00:35]  You know if you'd have paused them before he brought either of those up I knew we've got Bonnie Blue and Lily Phillips and grooming gangs.
[00:00:42]  I mean grooming gangs.
[00:00:44]  So what I'm saying is it's like there's a problem and then there's a solution but it just seems like we can't connect them and this is where you need that American ingenuity.
[00:00:52]  I'm here to let Bonnie Blue and what's the other one's name?
[00:00:54]  Lily Phillips.
[00:00:55]  Lily Phillips know that there's a what?
[00:00:57]  Sorry, I thought you were talking about the gamer for a second.
[00:00:59]  I was like, right.
[00:01:02]  Anyway, but the grooming gangs, right?
[00:01:05]  I feel like we could, you know, they don't have to do it anymore.
[00:01:09]  They could just take it online.
[00:01:10]  I think you're forgetting what we're saying.
[00:01:11]  Where they need to stop making it sound so cool.
[00:01:13]  What is that?
[00:01:14]  Grooming gangs is just, it has a little ring to it.
[00:01:16]  Like make it sound worse.
[00:01:20]  It makes them sound like fucking hairdressers.
[00:01:22]  Exactly.
[00:01:24]  Make it sound way worse.
[00:01:26]  What is the grooming part?
[00:01:27]  I don't understand.
[00:01:28]  So like, I mean, it's going to make me sound like I'm an expert on it, but like, grooming someone like, it's when like a teacher is like wanting to fuck one of their students.
[00:01:38]  They like groom them like, hey, it wouldn't be too bad if we fuck with them.
[00:01:41]  I've heard of that.
[00:01:41]  And like, that's what these gangs are accused of doing.
[00:01:44]  So they would, they would groom girls.
[00:01:48]  Yes.
[00:01:48]  And then wait until they're illegal and then abstain.
[00:01:51]  I've got to be honest with you.
[00:01:52]  I think, so what you're talking about is...
[00:01:55]  I don't know what I'm talking about.
[00:01:56]  I know.
[00:01:56]  I just have one animal.
[00:01:58]  So where you're getting these headlines from is like the Daily Mail and shit.
[00:02:01]  So like this is the Daily Mail.
[00:02:01]  We have gangs and gangbangs in the same place.
[00:02:04]  And then for whatever reason, we can't put those together.
[00:02:07]  It's retina pushed by like right-wing media who are like, we want to sort of focus on immigration.
[00:02:13]  So like there's a really, really good interview from years ago where there's a political commentator from the UK called the Carla.
[00:02:21]  And he's...
[00:02:21]  Oh, yeah, I know the guy who raps too.
[00:02:23]  Yeah, yeah.
[00:02:23]  And he's talking on like, there's like a panel, like it's like a panel in front of an audience talking about like racism and all that sort of stuff.
[00:02:30]  And he goes, the interesting thing is when like a Pakistani guy someone or a grooming gang who are from Pakistan originally someone, their racial identity and the fact that they're an immigrant is put forward as like the primary reason for them committing the atrocity.
[00:02:44]  Whereas like when Jimmy Savile, who's like a really famous, who's a white guy from Stoke, when he does it, it's not like it's because he's from Stoke.
[00:02:52]  Whereas like the grooming gang is like, well, they're from Pakistan.
[00:02:54]  Of course they're doing it.
[00:02:55]  But we assume it's because he's British.
[00:02:56]  That's why he does it.
[00:02:59]  Isn't that what the rest of the world does?
[00:03:00]  They're like, yeah, this is what they do.
[00:03:04]  They're giving us P ⁇ .
[00:03:07]  You've got the top two of all time.
[00:03:09]  You've got Hooligan and Michael Jackson.
[00:03:11]  And Epstein.
[00:03:13]  You guys fell off.
[00:03:15]  You had a great run.
[00:03:17]  That's what American is.
[00:03:18]  America does everything we do, and you just take it to one more level.
[00:03:22]  So you always see what we're doing.
[00:03:23]  And then it's like, ah.
[00:03:25]  So you heard what Adam Rose said.
[00:03:26]  Step it up, ladies.
[00:03:28]  2,000 guys in a day.
[00:03:30]  And that's the thing with this.
[00:03:31]  You're saying, like, why can't we just marry these two?
[00:03:33]  You're forgetting that in the UK, our racism is directed towards Pakistani guys and people from South Asia rather than anyone else.
[00:03:42]  Then who?
[00:03:42]  Then who?
[00:03:43]  Mexicans and black people.
[00:03:44]  That's your one, isn't it?
[00:03:45]  Is that?
[00:03:46]  I don't know.
[00:03:46]  I don't know.
[00:03:46]  I think we've seen eclipse.
[00:03:48]  I think we were punching Asians for a little bit.
[00:03:55]  No, but you stopped that for a couple of years.
[00:03:59]  It was scary.
[00:04:00]  It was scary.
[00:04:03]  Okay, so this is again a lot of the news that we get from Great Britain is like what Elon tweets.
[00:04:08]  Yeah, exactly.
[00:04:08]  You know, and that's a problem.
[00:04:10]  Yeah, so we read the headline and we're like, grooming gangs.
[00:04:13]  What the fuck is going on over here?
[00:04:15]  I will say, I looked into the thousand people they fucked a little bit more.
[00:04:18]  And they're doing it.
[00:04:21]  They are actually having sex with these guys.
[00:04:23]  Oh, they're 100% doing it.
[00:04:24]  Yeah.
[00:04:25]  Can you, what is the reaction in like proper, polite British circles about this?
[00:04:30]  I mean, I think you have like a bastardized idea of what like the politeness of Britons like.
[00:04:35]  Like if you look on like Britain.
[00:04:36]  I'm not talking about Liverpool.
[00:04:39]  But like the Facebook post about this, like, she's a whore.
[00:04:42]  She's a fucking whore.
[00:04:44]  Like, let's call a spade a spade.
[00:04:46]  She's a whore.
[00:04:48]  But when's the next one?
[00:04:50]  Because there's still a thousand guys showing up to these things.
[00:04:52]  So did you see that?
[00:04:53]  That's everybody has a problem.
[00:04:54]  Did you see the Jamaican mom yank her son off the line?

=== Corrections Officer Porn Scandal (02:19) ===

[00:04:56]  That was wild.
[00:04:58]  He's like, I'm fucked.
[00:05:02]  There was a guy who, so he was interviewed on like Good Morning Britain, which is like it's a fucking morning show in the UK.
[00:05:10]  And one of the guys that did it, one of the guys who says he went queued up.
[00:05:16]  He went, joined the line, realized he was like, I'm going to be here for a few hours.
[00:05:20]  Went and ate dinner.
[00:05:21]  So he was like, I've got time for a burger.
[00:05:24]  Went and got his burger.
[00:05:25]  Came back to the line.
[00:05:26]  Said he got near the front and then was like, I can't do it.
[00:05:30]  I'm a sore stomach.
[00:05:31]  It's hard.
[00:05:35]  And they interviewed him at like nine o'clock in the morning, being like, so tell us about your experience.
[00:05:39]  He was like, I could just smell like cum and it just couldn't go through.
[00:05:48]  There's some great porn stories coming out of Britain.
[00:05:50]  The girl that had sex with the inmate.
[00:05:54]  Oh, was that?
[00:05:56]  Yeah.
[00:05:56]  Was that real?
[00:05:57]  What was the.
[00:05:58]  I can show you the video.
[00:05:59]  Have you not seen it?
[00:06:00]  I saw the video, but I mean, like, was it.
[00:06:03]  It's quickly.
[00:06:04]  He's online, bro.
[00:06:05]  I would find like you could set the script.
[00:06:06]  I got to know someone.
[00:06:09]  No, no.
[00:06:10]  I saw the video.
[00:06:11]  She was phenomenal, but she was so good that I thought it was kind of set up.
[00:06:14]  She was like a pro.
[00:06:15]  But it turns out she was actually a, what are they called?
[00:06:19]  Corrections officer.
[00:06:20]  Yeah, yeah.
[00:06:20]  No, she's a prison officer.
[00:06:22]  She's like a script.
[00:06:23]  We call that a CO, corrections officer.
[00:06:25]  Oh, okay.
[00:06:25]  Yeah.
[00:06:25]  So like Rick Ross.
[00:06:27]  What?
[00:06:28]  The rapper used to be.
[00:06:30]  That's what he used to do.
[00:06:31]  Yeah, yeah.
[00:06:31]  I don't think he did the porn.
[00:06:42]  The last thing you want is a girl doing this and going, okay, okay.
[00:06:48]  So that story was crazy.
[00:06:50]  Crazy, especially because she like.
[00:06:53]  Is it weird what we get over here from you guys?
[00:06:54]  Like, well, you, you, you, you get like such a tight.
[00:06:58]  I know, I know, I know.
[00:07:00]  I talk about this in like stand-up context.
[00:07:03]  It is so much harder for me to come out here than for you to come to the UK because we get all of your news, all of your media, every movie that's even remotely good from the States.
[00:07:14]  Yeah, every TV show.

=== Royal Family and Wicked (15:24) ===

[00:07:16]  Yeah, you're hyper-aware of cultural events here.
[00:07:18]  I remember a couple of years ago, I did Gotham.
[00:07:21]  Yeah.
[00:07:21]  And you were on the bill.
[00:07:22]  And I come off, and there was one joke that had just got fuck all.
[00:07:25]  And it was not, it was a joke I relied on.
[00:07:27]  You know what I mean?
[00:07:28]  And you were like, they just didn't get it.
[00:07:30]  And it was a bit about like in the UK, homeless people drink cider.
[00:07:33]  So the real theme was like, I gave this guy some money and like a girl who had like a bit of a stick up at her ass was like, you're supposed to buy them food.
[00:07:39]  And the whole bit is like, oh, I think he wants cider.
[00:07:42]  And the audience just looked at me like I was speaking fucking parcel tongue.
[00:07:46]  They were like, what the fuck?
[00:07:47]  And then you were like, that's like a middle-class, like gay summer drink.
[00:07:54]  And not drinking steam.
[00:07:55]  And you went, try it tomorrow with like whiskey or liquor.
[00:07:58]  And I tried it like proper popped it.
[00:08:00]  Like all it took was that.
[00:08:02]  But those, like, we think, at least I think we're very culturally similar countries.
[00:08:08]  So you can just do your thing.
[00:08:09]  All things.
[00:08:10]  I've been there.
[00:08:11]  I've been there, Adam.
[00:08:11]  Oh, this is crazy.
[00:08:14]  This is this is we did the show in Manchester, okay?
[00:08:16]  I thought it was in Vancouver.
[00:08:17]  No, well, that's a different one.
[00:08:19]  I don't even know if you knew about this because I barely even registered it until later.
[00:08:22]  This is really funny.
[00:08:23]  We do the show in Manchester, right?
[00:08:24]  Adam joins us.
[00:08:25]  Okay.
[00:08:26]  The lineup is great.
[00:08:27]  It's Derek, it's Adam, it's me, and then it's you.
[00:08:29]  Okay.
[00:08:30]  And so Derek goes up, does a great job.
[00:08:32]  And then oh, brother.
[00:08:34]  What has even happened?
[00:08:36]  Okay.
[00:08:37]  So if Derek goes up, he does a great job.
[00:08:43]  I'm going to interrupt him by myself.
[00:08:46]  Shooting on my own story.
[00:08:48]  Adam goes up and I'm like kind of listening because I know Derek said, you know what I mean?
[00:08:52]  And so I'm listening to Adam Set and I don't hear a word that he's saying.
[00:08:56]  I'm hearing the whole thing.
[00:08:57]  I don't understand anything.
[00:08:58]  His accent is sort of thick now.
[00:09:00]  In Liverpool or in Manchester, it was like you couldn't understand a word.
[00:09:04]  But also, so before, because I know where the story's going, let me just contextualize this.
[00:09:08]  So that show was the day after you did our podcast.
[00:09:13]  Right.
[00:09:13]  And you come to our podcast and you're in the studio with the whole crews.
[00:09:17]  And then you go to me, you want to come to the show tomorrow?
[00:09:19]  I was like, yeah, we'll come down.
[00:09:20]  Me, Jack, who's the photographer, also like one of my best mates.
[00:09:24]  Steve, who's like our podcast, like admin guy, and then Carl, who's like my best mate, lead producer.
[00:09:30]  So the four of us, like, we'll come down to the show.
[00:09:32]  That's all I knew.
[00:09:33]  And then, like, at the time, I'm sort of like half going through a breakup.
[00:09:36]  Like, it had been done, but I hadn't spoken to my dad for a while.
[00:09:39]  Like, not that I hadn't spoken to him, but like, I hadn't seen him.
[00:09:41]  So the next day, I text my dad.
[00:09:43]  I was like, you want to go out for lunch?
[00:09:44]  Should we go out for lunch tomorrow?
[00:09:45]  And he's like, yeah, let's go.
[00:09:46]  And he's like, what are you up to tonight?
[00:09:47]  I was like, oh, I'm just going to Manchester to watch Schultz.
[00:09:50]  He's in town and go and see the show.
[00:09:52]  And my dad was like, we haven't had a pint for ages.
[00:09:54]  We're going to have a pint.
[00:09:55]  So I went and had 10 pints of Guinness with my dad.
[00:10:00]  And then on the way to Manchester, you text me and say, How long are you doing?
[00:10:04]  Like, how long do you want to do tonight?
[00:10:05]  No, I thought you knew that I was invited.
[00:10:07]  Inviting you to do a spot.
[00:10:09]  Like, you're very casual with stuff like this.
[00:10:12]  In your head, you're like, oh, I've got a friend who lives down the road.
[00:10:14]  Of course, he's going to do a set.
[00:10:17]  In my head, I'm like, I'm just going to watch.
[00:10:18]  You've got two openers with you already.
[00:10:20]  That's probably enough for you.
[00:10:21]  I'm just going to, I'm having a night in the theater watching a friend of mine.
[00:10:25]  So I'm in the car and Carl's driving us.
[00:10:27]  And I'm like, fucking, I'm like, I was like, oh, shit.
[00:10:30]  I was like, well, I'm not doing the show.
[00:10:32]  Yeah.
[00:10:32]  So I was like, I'll do it.
[00:10:33]  And I turn up to Manchester and Tanya goes, can I get you anything?
[00:10:37]  And I was like, I need four bottles of water.
[00:10:42]  And then I walk in the dressing room and you're all fucking meditating.
[00:10:46]  Oh, that's right.
[00:10:46]  We're asleep.
[00:10:47]  Oh, we're actually.
[00:10:51]  So I'm like, oh, God.
[00:10:53]  So I spent that.
[00:10:58]  Dude, that's so funny.
[00:10:59]  Yeah, we turn all the lights out.
[00:11:01]  We put like the thing down.
[00:11:02]  And then we all try to take a nap.
[00:11:04]  And then Adam comes in 10 kids deep.
[00:11:07]  Like, what's up?
[00:11:10]  So I'm like, right, I really need to saw my head.
[00:11:12]  I was here.
[00:11:13]  But then, like, whenever I'm talking to you guys, or if I'm on stage in the States, my accent softens quite a bit.
[00:11:19]  Yeah.
[00:11:19]  This is softening.
[00:11:20]  This is so he's articulating.
[00:11:24]  I honestly think I sound like Jay-Z right now.
[00:11:28]  That's what I'm trying to do.
[00:11:29]  I thought I'd be coaching some shit.
[00:11:33]  This is how you talk to the police.
[00:11:39]  But in Liverpool and Manchester, especially, like, for the crowd, I know I can just lay it.
[00:11:44]  I can just let go.
[00:11:45]  So like what would normally take me, you know, 20 minutes to do out here, I could probably do in 10 in Manchester.
[00:11:52]  So I go on and I'm doing my set.
[00:11:54]  And I don't know whether you want to tell the rest of the story, but I have a joke in my set time about breaking up with her and I'm happy to see her goes.
[00:12:05]  So she's trying to upset me.
[00:12:07]  And she said, while we were together, I've faked like half of my orgasms.
[00:12:11]  And I'm like.
[00:12:13]  That's a compliment.
[00:12:14]  Like half fucking, that's a horror every two balls.
[00:12:17]  Like it's fucking insane.
[00:12:18]  But Mark's got a similar bit about like proving that I'm good at sex.
[00:12:23]  Like why I think I'm good at sex.
[00:12:24]  And he went on straight after me because he couldn't understand a word I was saying.
[00:12:27]  He does that joke and the whole room's like, that last guy just did that.
[00:12:33]  He fucking set me up.
[00:12:35]  The beginning of the set, I'm doing, I'm like, this is fun.
[00:12:38]  This is a good show.
[00:12:39]  In case any of you guys only speak English, I'll do this version of the joke.
[00:12:44]  And I get to the middle of it and that joke just gets nothing.
[00:12:46]  And I was like, huh, that's weird.
[00:12:48]  And then I'm thinking in my head, like, did I forget the setup?
[00:12:50]  Did I fuck up the joke?
[00:12:52]  And then I'm doing the rest of the set thinking, like, did I fuck?
[00:12:55]  I'm not, I don't know any of these jokes.
[00:12:57]  It's just 3,000 people going, why has he just done that?
[00:13:00]  So did you tell him afterwards or something?
[00:13:02]  I did briefly.
[00:13:03]  I was like, Mark, you know that bit that like confused you in the middle?
[00:13:06]  Like I'd done the same sort of premise like before you went on.
[00:13:10]  And he like he'd just come off stage and was a bit frazzled.
[00:13:12]  He was like, oh yeah, yeah, no, but he's and then before when we got here, like when we were waiting around, like he's like, oh, yeah, this.
[00:13:18]  And I was like, you didn't really click onto this.
[00:13:20]  I had.
[00:13:21]  Yeah.
[00:13:21]  Go, go, go, go.
[00:13:22]  Yeah, that's it.
[00:13:23]  I had no clue.
[00:13:23]  He didn't register because I came off stage and he goes, oh, yeah, yeah, we have a similar bit.
[00:13:27]  And I go, that's awesome, man.
[00:13:28]  Yeah.
[00:13:30]  I didn't get it.
[00:13:30]  Like, sometimes comics have similar bits, you know, whatever.
[00:13:32]  And I didn't realize that's what you were saying until five minutes ago.
[00:13:35]  And I was like, don't we have two shows?
[00:13:38]  Yeah.
[00:13:39]  I only did the late show, though.
[00:13:41]  I was drinking.
[00:13:43]  And the first show was amazing.
[00:13:45]  And the second show, that one show just bombed.
[00:13:47]  And I was like, what the fuck?
[00:13:49]  Mark was in Carlsman.
[00:13:50]  See you off stage.
[00:13:52]  Mark was in, or we were all in Vancouver.
[00:13:55]  Not the last time, the time before.
[00:13:56]  This is legendary.
[00:13:57]  And Mark had a great bit about Uber, right?
[00:14:02]  I won't tell the bit, but and, you know, he would start the joke by saying, like, we were taking the Uber over here, right?
[00:14:09]  Yeah.
[00:14:10]  Just to like make it feel really present and get everybody involved.
[00:14:13]  And it's so relatable.
[00:14:14]  And Mark is telling the joke without realizing that there is no Uber in Vancouver.
[00:14:26]  Because I'm like, you did not take a fucking Uber here.
[00:14:29]  That would kill me, you know, because it doesn't just ruin that bit.
[00:14:33]  The whole audience then goes, this guy's full of shit.
[00:14:35]  He's not even married.
[00:14:37]  He's not even.
[00:14:38]  He doesn't even have a huge dick.
[00:14:40]  That show wasn't real.
[00:14:41]  Oh, like, I think I'd have got to the end of that and been like, oh, they don't have Uber here.
[00:14:46]  Yeah.
[00:14:47]  Yeah.
[00:14:49]  There's a handful of times because I come out saying I'll like a couple of times.
[00:14:51]  I didn't actually realize on stage.
[00:14:53]  This is how dumb I am.
[00:14:54]  I didn't even realize it.
[00:14:55]  I had to get halfway through the bit that I'm bombing through.
[00:14:57]  And someone goes, we don't have Uber.
[00:15:00]  They told you.
[00:15:00]  Yeah, they told you.
[00:15:02]  Because I was like, maybe they'll just muscle through it and kind of get them messaged.
[00:15:06]  That's going to be a fucking long drive.
[00:15:10]  Oh, so bad.
[00:15:11]  Also, guys, show dates.
[00:15:13]  First of all, Brea, we already sold out all four shows.
[00:15:15]  I'm going to try to get everybody who wants to see the show tickets, though.
[00:15:18]  So we're adding one February 20th, Thursday.
[00:15:21]  We're going to add that show.
[00:15:23]  Also, February 27th, 28th, and March 1st, I'm going to be at Zaney's in Nashville.
[00:15:27]  March 14th and 15th, I'm going to be in Tulsa, Oklahoma.
[00:15:29]  March 21st and 22nd, Omaha, 28th and 29th, Columbus, Ohio.
[00:15:33]  And then the April shows are in Tampa.
[00:15:35]  The ones that I could not make because I had the flu are moved to April 11th and 12th.
[00:15:39]  I think tickets are already almost sold out.
[00:15:41]  So hurry up and buy those.
[00:15:42]  If you bought tickets in January, you're good for now.
[00:15:44]  But we're going to add as many shows as we can.
[00:15:45]  Love you guys.
[00:15:46]  Akashing.com for those dates, and we're going to add more soon.
[00:15:48]  Thank you.
[00:15:49]  Peace.
[00:15:49]  I'll Google stuff now before, like, even before a club set over here.
[00:15:53]  Like, if I've got like something I'm going to try, I'll be like, I'm checking this.
[00:15:56]  I'm checking homeless people drink cider.
[00:15:58]  Nope.
[00:15:59]  Okay.
[00:16:01]  I do do that when I'm like, when I'm in another country, it's never like the concept of the joke.
[00:16:06]  I'm like, do you know what this word means?
[00:16:08]  Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[00:16:09]  You know, you've texted me a couple of times in the UK.
[00:16:11]  I remember when you texted me about London, you were like, what the fuck is what are these people?
[00:16:16]  Like, I can't get my finger on.
[00:16:18]  Yeah.
[00:16:18]  And I was like, no one where you are is a Londoner.
[00:16:21]  That's the thing.
[00:16:21]  Yeah.
[00:16:22]  It was like everywhere else is so tribal.
[00:16:24]  Yeah.
[00:16:24]  Like where you guys are from, 30 minutes down the road, they're completely different groups of people.
[00:16:28]  Then I'm in London.
[00:16:28]  I'm like, what do they identify as?
[00:16:30]  They've all moved there.
[00:16:32]  Yeah.
[00:16:32]  So like because London's, I suppose in a very similar way to New York, London has become so expensive and gentrified that everyone who used to live here now lives there.
[00:16:42]  And everyone who used to live there now lives there.
[00:16:44]  So it just everyone gets pushed out by like two miles every time.
[00:16:48]  The things get more and more.
[00:16:49]  And there's not much rent control.
[00:16:51]  So you like, whereas in like, you know, in New York, you'll get like a 97-year-old Jewish woman on the upper west side who's surrounded by like millionaires and she's just owned the place for 100 years.
[00:17:00]  That doesn't happen in London.
[00:17:02]  People do just get pushed out.
[00:17:03]  Oh, really?
[00:17:03]  So in the middle of London, there's just nothing but people who've moved there pretty much.
[00:17:09]  Oh, interesting.
[00:17:10]  But sometimes those rules, I remember we went to Abu Dhabi and they were like, hey, just be careful about some of the things you say.
[00:17:14]  Like they gave us like a little list.
[00:17:16]  They were like, don't talk about the don't talk about Islam.
[00:17:18]  Don't speak about the royal family.
[00:17:20]  And he goes, I'm not listening.
[00:17:26]  I actually don't like it when they tell me.
[00:17:28]  Makes you want to do it.
[00:17:29]  Also, like, I can plead ignorance if I don't really know.
[00:17:32]  Yeah.
[00:17:32]  But if like I get sat down with the guys in the outfits and everything and they tell me all the rules, now I'm like, fuck, like, they just told me this shit, dressed up.
[00:17:42]  And like, I feel like there would be something bad there.
[00:17:45]  But then again, if you get arrested for that, so there's a comedy club that runs, it's called the Laughter Factory.
[00:17:52]  It's in Dubai and Abu Dhabi because it's the same country, aren't they?
[00:17:55]  UAE.
[00:17:56]  And they had a guy get arrested at one of their club shows about, it must be like 10, 15 years ago.
[00:18:03]  Logo guy or foreign no from the UK.
[00:18:05]  So they pretty much fly out UK guys and occasionally they'll get like a rogue comic from America out there.
[00:18:11]  And they're always like, just don't mention the royal family.
[00:18:13]  And they were doing like a two-night run at one hotel.
[00:18:16]  And on the second night, after the guy had done stuff on the first night, they sent people to the back to like, and as soon as he went to bring it up again, because in his head, he's like, oh, I got away with it last night.
[00:18:26]  And he goes through it again.
[00:18:27]  They were like, come with us.
[00:18:28]  And he was in police custody for like three days.
[00:18:30]  Wow.
[00:18:31]  What did he say?
[00:18:32]  Yeah, I want to know.
[00:18:33]  I think he literally was like, I was told I can't talk about these guys.
[00:18:37]  Who the fuck do they think they are?
[00:18:38]  I think he took that attitude and they were like, well, this is the fuck we think we are.
[00:18:43]  We're going to sit over there for three days.
[00:18:45]  See, that's real royalty.
[00:18:46]  Would you like, would you respect that royalty?
[00:18:48]  I know you don't respect the English royalty.
[00:18:49]  Okay, but I mean, I don't, I mean, the only reason I'll respect it while I'm out there weapons is that I don't want to go to jail.
[00:18:59]  You know, I'll respect it because I have to.
[00:19:01]  Yeah.
[00:19:01]  But I don't respect anybody who is born naturally better than everyone else.
[00:19:06]  It's fucking insane.
[00:19:07]  What do you think of that Megan Markle?
[00:19:11]  Like, what do people think of her out there?
[00:19:14]  It's a real like political issue.
[00:19:17]  So the left are like, she's amazing.
[00:19:19]  And the right are like, she's a fucking.
[00:19:22]  But for what?
[00:19:24]  Why is she amazing?
[00:19:24]  What does she do?
[00:19:25]  Took a little ginger off your hands.
[00:19:28]  So because the left, generally speaking, hate the royal family.
[00:19:34]  And the working class people, a lot of them are just like, the fuck a royal family.
[00:19:37]  Like, what the fuck?
[00:19:38]  Why do we have to fucking because she's sort of gone in as a normal person, broke it up, caused a bit of a problem, and then has sort of gone, I'm not adhering to your fucking reels.
[00:19:47]  I'll take your fucking grandson and we're going back to America.
[00:19:51]  That is kind of flying.
[00:19:53]  I'll take your grandson down.
[00:19:56]  Watch him come with me.
[00:19:57]  That's crazy.
[00:19:58]  So people are like, yeah, fucking good for that.
[00:20:00]  I'll take your grandson.
[00:20:04]  Shout out, Megan Marshall.
[00:20:06]  Oh, man.
[00:20:07]  I never saw him like that.
[00:20:10]  It's fire.
[00:20:11]  We hate her here for some reason.
[00:20:12]  I think it's just the idea.
[00:20:14]  Like, Americans really.
[00:20:16]  I think it's the same feeling.
[00:20:17]  It's like, we really resent people who haven't seemingly earned their success.
[00:20:22]  Yeah, you know, like the idea of like nepotism or heirs or the royal family.
[00:20:27]  We hate the royal family.
[00:20:28]  And you should like it.
[00:20:29]  We don't respect the royal family.
[00:20:30]  Yeah.
[00:20:30]  We don't give a fuck.
[00:20:31]  We don't.
[00:20:31]  Now, when the queen died, they cancelled comedy clubs across the UK.
[00:20:34]  Oh, no.
[00:20:35]  And like, friends of mine are like out of work.
[00:20:37]  I wasn't even working that weekend, but I just put like three shows on and lift films.
[00:20:40]  Like, if you've lost gigs this weekend, we'll split the door between everyone.
[00:20:43]  I was like, fuck that.
[00:20:44]  That's just not happening.
[00:20:45]  They cancelled the comedy show.
[00:20:47]  Have you seen the video of, you know, the musical Wicked?
[00:20:50]  Yeah.
[00:20:50]  Do you know how it opens?
[00:20:52]  Do you know the first song in Wicked?
[00:20:53]  No.
[00:20:54]  So the first line is, She's dead.
[00:20:59]  And it's like, good news.
[00:21:00]  So the night that the Queen died, the guy who owns the theater had to go on.
[00:21:04]  There's a video of this of him doing this.
[00:21:06]  He goes on stage before the show and goes, Hey, we're really respectful about the Queen and stuff, but we've still got to do the full show.
[00:21:15]  So just so you all know, if this is the first time you've seen Wicked, this isn't like a doobie.
[00:21:23]  As many of you are no doubt aware, Her Majesty the Queen Saga passed away earlier this afternoon, and we send deepest condolences to her family.
[00:21:31]  The respect of Buckingham Palace, all shows are continuing to perform this evening.
[00:21:36]  Therefore, tonight's show will be performed as usual and as written.
[00:21:45]  She's dead.
[00:21:48]  That's the opening line.
[00:21:50]  The queen is dead.
[00:21:51]  The wicked witch is always.
[00:21:54]  But good news, she's dead.
[00:21:56]  That's great.
[00:21:56]  And the fact that they had to preface it is so funny.
[00:21:59]  Some guy, like, never been on stage before in his life.
[00:22:01]  They're like, you're going to have to go.
[00:22:02]  It almost makes it worse because I bet you have to be like, yeah, we're just seeing Wicked.
[00:22:05]  We're not thinking about it.
[00:22:06]  You know what I mean?
[00:22:07]  And then the fact he's like, I know this sounds like we're happy the queen's dead.
[00:22:10]  It only takes one person to complain, though, doesn't it?
[00:22:12]  And then it's a news story.
[00:22:13]  So it's better they do it that way.
[00:22:15]  Oh, that's unreal.
[00:22:16]  I didn't realize you were such a theater fan.
[00:22:19]  Yeah, like you love musicals.
[00:22:21]  I've seen quite a lot.
[00:22:22]  Yeah.
[00:22:22]  A few years, I'd never watched it until about maybe like six years ago.
[00:22:26]  And then I heard Hamilton.
[00:22:27]  All I knew about Hamilton was it was a like a hip-hop musical.
[00:22:30]  And I was like, I really want to go and see that.
[00:22:31]  And an ex-girlfriend got me tickets to go and see it.
[00:22:33]  And I remember being at the end of the first song, like, this is incredible.

=== Queen's Death News Cycle (04:18) ===

[00:22:40]  I couldn't believe it.
[00:22:41]  And then I like watching them.
[00:22:43]  You want to know how incredible Hamilton is?
[00:22:45]  Yeah.
[00:22:47]  Once we went to like a private dance club in Hawaii.
[00:22:52]  Strip club.
[00:22:53]  But there's like a little private room where the strippers come in.
[00:22:57]  He's trying to feed the story.
[00:22:59]  And they give you an ox chord and you get to control the music.
[00:23:03]  And I go, Mark, you know what you got to do?
[00:23:07]  I got it.
[00:23:08]  I see Mark go up to the aux plugin.
[00:23:10]  And the next thing I hear is, how does a bastard pour in a Scotchman?
[00:23:21]  In the middle.
[00:23:22]  Within, I would say, like five minutes, we were just singing and dancing, and the strippers were all just sitting down, like so confused.
[00:23:29]  They told me to walk down the game.
[00:23:31]  They did.
[00:23:31]  They did.
[00:23:32]  They were trying to give us drugs.
[00:23:33]  They were just like, I think if we settle them down, they'll let us go make it.
[00:23:37]  I've been banging on about it for years that I really liked it.
[00:23:40]  And the lads we do our podcasts with have been like, I can't think of anything fucking worse.
[00:23:45]  And I was like, you just got to see it.
[00:23:46]  Like, it's fucking great.
[00:23:48]  And then there was a touring version of it that came to Manchester.
[00:23:51]  And I was like, look, we're going podcast night out, few beers, and we're going to see Hamilton.
[00:23:56]  And the cast was so bad.
[00:23:59]  And so I was sat next to Finn, who's one of our producers, and he loves it as well.
[00:24:03]  And like the Carl and Dan were sat behind us, and they've been like fucking dragged to see this thing, you know what I mean?
[00:24:09]  And we were about halfway through, and I just looked at Finn, and Finn was already looking at me.
[00:24:13]  And Finn was like, This is a lot gayer than I remember.
[00:24:22]  I was like, Yeah, it really is.
[00:24:24]  And we got to the interval and went up, and I like I tried to be like, So, what do you think?
[00:24:28]  And Carl and Dan, like, are you fucking insane?
[00:24:32]  It was so bad.
[00:24:33]  If that was the first time I'd ever seen it, I would like it.
[00:24:35]  Is it weird to have that showing in England?
[00:24:38]  No, like the historical count of the Revolutionary War.
[00:24:42]  So, like, this is there's no way you learn how we learn it.
[00:24:46]  No, we don't learn it at all.
[00:24:47]  Yeah, really, yeah.
[00:24:48]  Like, we learned about World War II and that we won, and you guys kind of helped.
[00:24:52]  And that's pretty much straight from like years.
[00:24:55]  Yeah, yeah, well, they liked it.
[00:24:57]  No way.
[00:24:58]  Well, somebody had to drop those nukes on the stop that war that was already over.
[00:25:12]  We don't learn anything about it.
[00:25:13]  So, like, so we didn't help out at all in the way you learn in World War II.
[00:25:17]  Yeah.
[00:25:18]  Yeah, it's like the Americans sort of helped at the end, but this whole like we would be speaking German if it wasn't for America.
[00:25:23]  It's just like, that's not really true.
[00:25:25]  Really?
[00:25:25]  Yeah, it's just like we were going to sort of, you know, like it would have been, we might have won anyway.
[00:25:30]  Wow.
[00:25:31]  Yeah.
[00:25:31]  We won it.
[00:25:32]  Yeah.
[00:25:33]  That's Britain.
[00:25:33]  It's like, no, we, we beat the Nazis.
[00:25:35]  Winston Churchill defeated the Nazis.
[00:25:37]  Yeah.
[00:25:37]  Yeah.
[00:25:38]  He also made it a million Indians, but shushes, don't look like that.
[00:25:41]  We beat the Nazi.
[00:25:42]  Did he take out a mill?
[00:25:44]  Like, it might have been, I don't know the exact number, but it was a lot.
[00:25:47]  It was a lot.
[00:25:48]  They don't love Churchill.
[00:25:49]  They don't love him at all.
[00:25:50]  So you just learn history through musicals.
[00:25:52]  Yeah.
[00:25:52]  He thinks Alexander Hamilton is black.
[00:25:54]  I think to this day.
[00:25:55]  He's like, what's really funny about that is I know he isn't, but in my head, they all like I have to like, you know, like when you look at the $10, you're like, who the fuck is this guy?
[00:26:08]  Like, I have to genuinely have to correct that.
[00:26:11]  I'm like, yeah, Aaron Bird is not a four-foot-nine black guy.
[00:26:14]  You know what's crazy?
[00:26:16]  Hamilton in America was like not a very, in our generation, was not a very popular figure.
[00:26:21]  Totally.
[00:26:21]  Like they were going to replace him, I think, on yeah, yeah.
[00:26:24]  I think that was the plan.
[00:26:24]  And Aaron Burr, the extent of Burr was a got milk commercial.
[00:26:30]  Do you remember that commercial?
[00:26:32]  He's eating a cookie and he doesn't have any milk and he like calls in some hot wine to like win something.
[00:26:39]  And he goes, and they go, who is the person that had a duel with Hamilton and then shot him and then killed Alexander Hamilton?
[00:26:47]  And the guy goes, he can't get it out because he doesn't have milk.
[00:26:51]  You guys don't remember this commercial?
[00:26:53]  I remember this my entire childhood going, I don't know who the fuck that guy is.
[00:26:57]  And then I remember seeing Hamilton.

=== Aaron Burr Got Milk Commercial (02:57) ===

[00:26:58]  I was like, oh my God.
[00:27:03]  What a legacy.
[00:27:05]  Do you know what's really interesting about like the American Civil War thing is real quick?
[00:27:09]  Sorry.
[00:27:10]  So when you're watching a play of like the American Revolution in England, is there like a complete disconnect to an event that happened in history?
[00:27:18]  Like, I don't think Americans are there yet to like have a play.
[00:27:21]  Like if there was a Vietnamese play about how they won the war, I don't think it'd be like celebrated in America.
[00:27:28]  I just think if, yeah, genuinely, even though we know it's not, it sort of like feels like fiction.
[00:27:33]  Not that we're saying it's like lies.
[00:27:34]  It just feels like.
[00:27:35]  I love it.
[00:27:36]  Do you know what I mean?
[00:27:37]  It feels like weird.
[00:27:38]  It's weird.
[00:27:43]  It's just not like a.
[00:27:45]  It doesn't look like you're watching a loss.
[00:27:47]  No, and it's not like it doesn't feel like that.
[00:27:50]  And like, we're so small compared to you guys.
[00:27:53]  Like, it doesn't make any sense that we would run this place like to me.
[00:27:57]  Like, if I actually thought about it, but I'm thinking about it right now.
[00:28:02]  And yet, the idea of the world is a colony of you.
[00:28:04]  Yeah, like the idea that, like, I don't even want the king to run Liverpool.
[00:28:10]  Like, why would he have control of Baltimore?
[00:28:13]  Like, the king is the best character in it.
[00:28:15]  Oh, it's so funny.
[00:28:16]  I mean, it's amazing.
[00:28:17]  It's so funny.
[00:28:19]  But, like, you guys, I guess because you're taught of it as like this victory and it's part of like the American thing is like, oh, we got our independence.
[00:28:26]  So, rebellion is like part of the identity.
[00:28:28]  So, any story that has rebellion, we get all excited about totally.
[00:28:31]  And it's, it's the only time it's ever been like sort of contextualized for me like that is, and it was actually to do with this show.
[00:28:38]  So, I went to Nashville in the summer.
[00:28:41]  At the end of my tour, me, uh, Alfie opens for me, and uh, he's also a brilliant comic.
[00:28:46]  And Jack, who was my tour manager, we went to Nashville for a week to just let rip drink music, whatever.
[00:28:52]  And it was Jordan's CMA Fest, like the Country Music Association Festival.
[00:28:56]  So, they have like stadium shows.
[00:28:57]  And I was like, Well, on the Friday, we'll go to that and we'll go and see that.
[00:29:00]  And we're in the stadium, and uh, I go to go to the bar and get some drinks.
[00:29:05]  And as I get to the top of the stairs, some like real southern guy, like dressed like he like he's wearing the bleachers, you know, so and he's got like you know, a flannel shirt on, trucker cap.
[00:29:15]  And he's like, Hey, man, can I get a quick photo with you?
[00:29:17]  And I was like, Yeah, he's like, Oh, I've seen you a while ago on Flagrant, I've seen some of your stuff.
[00:29:20]  I like it, man, I like it.
[00:29:21]  Can we get a photo?
[00:29:22]  And we take a photo, and uh, I then go carry on to go.
[00:29:25]  And he goes, Hey, Adam, Adam, don't forget the civil war, don't forget the revolution, the revolutionary war.
[00:29:32]  And I was like, What?
[00:29:32]  And he goes, We won, man.
[00:29:34]  And I was like, I get to the bar to Alfie and Jack.
[00:29:40]  I was like, Some guys just asked me for a photo, and then started yelling about some war.
[00:29:45]  I love that.
[00:29:46]  I love that.
[00:29:47]  I love you, bud.
[00:29:48]  I'm so interested.
[00:29:50]  That's the most American.
[00:29:51]  So he'd see me on the media.
[00:29:52]  Yeah, that's great.
[00:29:54]  And shout out to him.

=== Train Riots and Bleak Future (06:59) ===

[00:29:56]  I'm like, I'm wondering, like, yeah, this is like, I guess, a peculiar question, but it's the observation I had when I was in when I was in Britain: there's all these tiny little towns that have kind of evolved independently from this idea of England, right?
[00:30:13]  Yeah.
[00:30:14]  And then the empire kind of swallows them all up.
[00:30:16]  Yeah.
[00:30:16]  But they have their own identities.
[00:30:18]  Some of them do.
[00:30:19]  Some of them do.
[00:30:20]  Whereas, like, the states in America are added after the 13 as America.
[00:30:26]  Yeah.
[00:30:26]  Like, if you're two, you're, you don't have an identity outside of us.
[00:30:30]  Yeah.
[00:30:30]  Maybe Texas because they almost did their own thing, but it's rare.
[00:30:34]  So I wonder if that changes things where like you don't really personalize like what the greater England did because there were people there a thousand years ago just doing their thing anyway.
[00:30:43]  Yeah.
[00:30:43]  And to be fair, you know.
[00:30:44]  Like are there loyalists in Liverpool for the crown?
[00:30:48]  Yeah, but it's a it's a very small minority.
[00:30:51]  Right.
[00:30:52]  And like what do you think of them?
[00:30:55]  Of like the loyalists to the crown?
[00:30:58]  I don't speak to them.
[00:31:00]  They're not in my life.
[00:31:01]  I just care they exist, you know.
[00:31:03]  Like when, and this, this, obviously, when I'm doing like podcasts and stuff in America like this, like people do want to talk about the British thing.
[00:31:11]  I'm probably a really bad person to talk to about it because of the way Liverpool sees the rest.
[00:31:16]  And I'm not as like hardline as some scouses are with this.
[00:31:20]  Yeah.
[00:31:20]  You know, like there's a lot of like people from Liverpool who win the England football team plays.
[00:31:25]  They actively want them to win.
[00:31:28]  Like, if England are playing Spain, there's scouters who will buy a Spain jersey and go to the pub in the Spain jersey and be like, come on, Spain, because they hate it that much.
[00:31:37]  With me, I kind of want England to win.
[00:31:39]  And the second they lose, I'm like, who doesn't give a fuck?
[00:31:42]  Whereas you can lose a game and it'll take me a month to get over it.
[00:31:45]  Like, there's such a, this is quite like, I do, like, I don't really like the Uber English attitudes.
[00:31:54]  Yeah.
[00:31:55]  And I think a lot of the pride that like people on the center right to the right of like British politics have is rooted in racism and colonialism.
[00:32:06]  Really?
[00:32:06]  It just is.
[00:32:07]  It's like, we conquered the world.
[00:32:08]  It's like, that shouldn't be your only reason to be proud of the country because that's not actually a fucking good thing.
[00:32:15]  So there's a lot of stuff to not like.
[00:32:17]  It's debatable.
[00:32:19]  You go to some places that England never got to, and you're like, you could have used a little bit.
[00:32:26]  I just got back from India and I'm telling you, we have left that place in a mess.
[00:32:29]  He didn't go before.
[00:32:33]  I got a train now.
[00:32:34]  I love that thing.
[00:32:35]  The training is going by the way.
[00:32:37]  I was a real good train, by the way.
[00:32:40]  What's up, British?
[00:32:43]  But when you see him on top of the train riding it, aren't you like, that was worth the jewel?
[00:32:48]  They're enjoying that thing.
[00:32:50]  Imagine they got a roller coaster.
[00:32:51]  Oh, if you dropped a roller coaster in Mumbai, dude, they would sort it out.
[00:32:58]  One sixth place.
[00:32:59]  We're not even hungry anymore.
[00:33:04]  We're having too much fun, teeth.
[00:33:06]  This insane.
[00:33:08]  Don't have to worry about him throwing up either.
[00:33:09]  It's perfect.
[00:33:10]  I just don't identify.
[00:33:11]  Like, it's funny, Rich.
[00:33:12]  So a couple of, like, when.
[00:33:13]  But that's a good perspective to have.
[00:33:15]  Like, I think a lot of Americans don't know that about England.
[00:33:17]  I think that we assume that every country is kind of like us, incredibly proud of themselves.
[00:33:22]  And that's it.
[00:33:22]  That's the identity.
[00:33:24]  Yeah, we're divided in America, but for the most part, Americans are like, it's America, and then fuck the rest of y'all.
[00:33:29]  Yeah.
[00:33:30]  Whereas, you know, you go to Spain and there are parts of Spain that are like, we're not Spanish.
[00:33:34]  Yeah, like Barcelona and Catalina.
[00:33:37]  Looking at the Bass Country.
[00:33:38]  Yeah.
[00:33:40]  You just had riots, right, in Liverpool?
[00:33:41]  Like a couple months ago?
[00:33:42]  A few months ago.
[00:33:43]  That was the first time that Liverpool sort of had a grooming party?
[00:33:48]  Enter.
[00:33:49]  Entity.
[00:33:50]  Like, we can talk about this story if you want, but it's fucking bleak.
[00:33:53]  What do you mean?
[00:33:54]  Oh, really?
[00:33:54]  So there's a guy called Axel.
[00:33:56]  We won't joke around about it at all.
[00:33:58]  Huh?
[00:33:58]  We're not going to joke around about it at this time.
[00:34:01]  It's so bleak.
[00:34:03]  Really?
[00:34:03]  It's so fresh.
[00:34:04]  Oh, fuck.
[00:34:05]  Like, a guy went into a seven-year-old's dance class and stabbed three seven-year-old girls to death.
[00:34:11]  Oh, I didn't know that's what it was about.
[00:34:13]  Great job, Mark.
[00:34:15]  The riots, and the guy's called Axel Ruda Cabana, and he's the son of immigrants.
[00:34:22]  And although his family are Christian, there's a widespread belief that his motivations are rooted in Islam.
[00:34:30]  Even though that's not like being actually released as information, everyone's just gone, fucking look for the guy.
[00:34:36]  Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[00:34:37]  And, you know, he's like, he stabbed one of these girls 122 times.
[00:34:41]  Holy shit.
[00:34:43]  Like, it is one of the ways.
[00:34:45]  So what happens to somebody like that?
[00:34:46]  I mean, you kill him, right?
[00:34:48]  There's no death penalty.
[00:34:49]  Well, what do you do with people?
[00:34:50]  He's been put in prison for a minimum of 52 years, which means technically in 52 years, he could be released.
[00:34:56]  But somebody in prison will kill him, right?
[00:34:58]  There's a, I got sent a voice note today on WhatsApp.
[00:35:02]  So like when stuff happens in the UK, like they'll like, you'll get like forwarded many times as like a thing on WhatsApp.
[00:35:08]  And it's a voice note saying he's already been absolutely battered in prison.
[00:35:13]  But people won't kill him.
[00:35:14]  They'll just make his time in there impossible.
[00:35:16]  Oh, really?
[00:35:17]  And like the COVIDs, the correction officers will be like, they won't just look the other way.
[00:35:23]  Will go and get the two most dangerous guys in the prison and be like, you know, in cell seven, do you know what he's in for?
[00:35:28]  Yeah.
[00:35:28]  Well, the doors open.
[00:35:29]  Yeah.
[00:35:30]  Whoa.
[00:35:30]  But yeah.
[00:35:31]  Yeah.
[00:35:31]  And so the riots were about that.
[00:35:33]  And then people were.
[00:35:33]  So the riots were anti-immigration riots being like, look what happens when we have borders open.
[00:35:40]  It is this guy's parents get in, they have him here, and then he goes and kills.
[00:35:44]  But again, it's because, look, what this guy's done is fucking horrific.
[00:35:49]  And it's very hard to have this conversation, especially because this happened in Southport, which is eight miles from where I live.
[00:35:57]  Like it's up the road, maybe 20 a maximum.
[00:36:00]  It's up like Southport is where on a sunny day in the summer, that's when me and my family would go.
[00:36:05]  There's like a theme park there with roller coasters, no Indians on them.
[00:36:09]  And we go there for the next.
[00:36:13]  And it's absolutely harrowing awful.
[00:36:17]  It's one of the worst stories of my lifetime that I can remember.
[00:36:20]  And because people got real angry and they had, they were given a reason.
[00:36:27]  He did it because of this.
[00:36:28]  So then the protests were and riots were fucking huge.
[00:36:32]  But then there's assholes turning up to these fucking protests and riots with like six packs of stellar and they're being like, hey, we're at the riots.
[00:36:38]  And it's like, you don't give a shit.
[00:36:40]  You want a reason to go and smash a town up and get drunk with your mates.
[00:36:43]  You're a thug.
[00:36:44]  Some people genuinely care about the fucking safety of children and they're there for the right reasons.
[00:36:49]  But a good chunk of these fucking riots were people who just seen an opportunity to go and hammered on a Tuesday night and smash up a place with no retribution.

=== Theme Park Racial Tensions (15:38) ===

[00:36:56]  That's the yeah, that's the tricky thing is that like a certain amount of people are going to be crazy.
[00:37:00]  Yeah.
[00:37:01]  Right.
[00:37:01]  Like, and that is going to be consistent across whatever culture.
[00:37:04]  Yeah.
[00:37:04]  And when you have people that are entering your country, you know, a certain percentage of them are going to be crazy.
[00:37:10]  And the idea, I imagine, with an open border is that there's no way to discern who is or isn't.
[00:37:15]  Now, there's no way to tell if somebody's kid is going to be crazy.
[00:37:19]  Yeah.
[00:37:20]  You know what I mean?
[00:37:20]  Yeah.
[00:37:21]  But I get, I get the anger that somebody has in a situation where like we need, we can at least control this if we just stop people from coming in.
[00:37:29]  Yeah.
[00:37:30]  And, but you're not going to control crazy.
[00:37:32]  They're going to be fucking Jimmy Savilles.
[00:37:34]  Totally.
[00:37:35]  Right.
[00:37:35]  There's going to be monsters no matter what.
[00:37:37]  Like, I think the job, obviously, this is a more serious conversation, but I think the job of a comedian often is to stand right in the fucking middle of the spectrum of conversation and talk and laugh at how both sides of any conversation are discussing it.
[00:37:50]  Because on the right, there's always going to be hypocrisy.
[00:37:52]  On the left, there's always going to be hypocrisy.
[00:37:54]  And so almost any spectrum there.
[00:37:56]  And until both sides, and we're so far from this at the minute because everything is genuinely, really divided, like conversationally, until both sides find a way to be able to go, do you know what?
[00:38:07]  You've got a good point there.
[00:38:08]  But we put out this piece, the intro to an episode basically right after the inauguration.
[00:38:17]  And, you know, for the last four years, people cried, you know, a lot of times.
[00:38:22]  They were crying about the Democrats and they were crying about people making fun of who you can joke about or whatever.
[00:38:29]  And we're clowning Elon because he had that fucking autistic moment where he's, you know, throwing a fucking Nazi salute.
[00:38:36]  Did he mean to tell everybody he's a Nazi in that moment?
[00:38:39]  Of course not.
[00:38:39]  Right.
[00:38:40]  He didn't mean to, I do think he meant to do what he did, though.
[00:38:43]  Okay.
[00:38:43]  It's sort of like that's that's like that's debatable.
[00:38:47]  Maybe that's the case.
[00:38:48]  Maybe not.
[00:38:48]  And then we can even have that discussion.
[00:38:49]  I don't think that he, that that was what he did, but there is a version where you could just be like, I did some dumbass shit right there.
[00:38:56]  Right.
[00:38:56]  Like you can just acknowledge it.
[00:38:57]  You don't have to be like, you guys are stupid.
[00:38:58]  I can't believe you do that.
[00:38:59]  Or find all these excuses.
[00:39:00]  Well, he was technically doing a Roman salute.
[00:39:03]  That is what the Nazis were doing, though.
[00:39:05]  Yeah.
[00:39:05]  So when people are like, it's a Roman salute, the Nazis back then were like, we're doing a Roman salute.
[00:39:09]  Yeah, yeah.
[00:39:10]  Like, they're not different.
[00:39:12]  Right, right.
[00:39:14]  I guess what I'm trying to say.
[00:39:15]  Like, Hitler was like, we all drilled the Roman salute.
[00:39:17]  Like, you, by you going, I'm not doing the Hitler one, I'm doing the Roman one.
[00:39:22]  That's like saying, you know, my point is like, there's always right-wing guys, like, oh, you can't make fun of anybody, and what happened to comedy?
[00:39:28]  We should make fun of whatever.
[00:39:29]  And the second the jokes are about Elon, it's like, oh, dude, you used to be funny.
[00:39:33]  This is fucked up.
[00:39:34]  You just became the guy you were criticizing for the last four years.
[00:39:37]  You see, Ben Shapiro talking about Bill Bear, what did he say?
[00:39:40]  He said, I've been a Bill Bear fan for years.
[00:39:41]  I thought he's absolutely brilliant.
[00:39:42]  I went to see him in Florida.
[00:39:44]  He's gone woke.
[00:39:45]  Like, Bill Bear's gone woke.
[00:39:47]  This is another thing.
[00:39:47]  Like, there are narratives that happen when a comedian gets to a certain size, right?
[00:39:53]  A certain level of success.
[00:39:54]  Like, I haven't seen it happen with me.
[00:39:55]  I've seen it happen with other people.
[00:39:56]  Like, and these narratives just sprout up, and you have to be a certain level of success for the narratives to even pop up.
[00:40:02]  And what's interesting about Burr is like Burr is one of the most prolific comedians that's ever existed.
[00:40:07]  And I've seen this thing happen, like, oh, he's going whoa, girl.
[00:40:10]  This is it's honestly, I think this is my take on it.
[00:40:14]  It's like when feminism, like the pendulum swung way too far in one direction, and you could never feel like you could make fun of women, and women were saying insane shit.
[00:40:23]  There's like with the protection of feminism, if you call them out on it, then you're a sexist and you're a bigot.
[00:40:28]  So everybody was really scared.
[00:40:30]  Comedians who had jokes about the absurdity of this extreme feminism gained a lot of popularity because you could get the sentiment that we all had out.
[00:40:38]  I mean, I definitely benefited from that.
[00:40:40]  I had plenty of jokes about that.
[00:40:41]  And Bill was amazing at that, prolific at that.
[00:40:45]  Now the pendulum has swung back.
[00:40:47]  We don't need to make fun of feminists all the time.
[00:40:49]  Yeah, we realize that they're retarded.
[00:40:52]  So now he's going just making fun of whatever he wants to make fun of right now.
[00:40:56]  But because he doesn't offer that like social utility for you, now he's gone woke and now he's not funny.
[00:41:02]  It's bullshit.
[00:41:03]  I also think you never liked him.
[00:41:04]  You liked that he made you feel good with your feelings.
[00:41:07]  Yes, evaluate opinions.
[00:41:09]  Exactly.
[00:41:10]  You never respected the craft or the art of comedy.
[00:41:12]  Totally.
[00:41:13]  And as a comic for me, like when I'm watching comedy, like I'm when I sort of, it's not even necessarily the most I ever laugh, yeah.
[00:41:20]  It but the most respect I ever have for a comedian is when I do not know what I don't think you should ever know what a comedian's real opinion on any subject is.
[00:41:28]  Like when a comic brings a subject up, and it could be, oh, I'm going to talk about trans people now or this or whatever.
[00:41:33]  When I know what your next boards of opinions are going to be, bored, I'm done with it.
[00:41:39]  And I do think some comics get to a certain level.
[00:41:42]  And we don't have to name names.
[00:41:42]  I hate Saganov comics and stuff like publicly and whatever, but there's certain comics who are big, like arena-level comics, and they bring shit up now.
[00:41:49]  And I'm like, we know the angle.
[00:41:51]  I know exactly what you think on this, even as a comic.
[00:41:55]  And it would be so much funnier if you, if Bill Baird in his new hour is doing an hour about why women are great, that'll be the best thing he's done.
[00:42:02]  It's so funny.
[00:42:03]  As long as it's funny, I care if you're woke, as long as it's funny.
[00:42:06]  Yeah, I'm assuming a baseline that the comic is getting lost and it's funny.
[00:42:10]  Exactly.
[00:42:10]  And that's what I hate about the criticism, right?
[00:42:12]  It's like you can be funny and have a progressive line of thinking.
[00:42:17]  Yeah, there's a guy named Jon Stewart that did it really effectively for the last fucking two decades, probably.
[00:42:22]  So, yeah, it's just, it's like, it's really, it's a shame when you see these people that they seem to like be fighting for comedy and everybody can get these jokes.
[00:42:29]  And the second the jokes are kind of against their point of view, all of a sudden, now that person is completely changed.
[00:42:35]  Everything's funny, and so that's about your thing.
[00:42:36]  And like, there's certain stuff people could bring up that I would be offended by, but you just gotta, you know, you gotta just.
[00:42:42]  I've said this before on another podcast years ago.
[00:42:45]  This is how I view comedy.
[00:42:46]  This is like my sort of the way I like to think about it.
[00:42:50]  It's like we're lawyers, right?
[00:42:52]  We're like defense lawyers.
[00:42:54]  And the bit is our client.
[00:42:56]  And our job isn't to worry about whether they're guilty or not.
[00:42:59]  Our job is to get them off.
[00:43:00]  Yeah, sure.
[00:43:01]  Our job is to convince the jury that this is an innocent thing.
[00:43:06]  And it doesn't matter whether, like, I take any clients on.
[00:43:09]  You could say, this is what my opinion is on this.
[00:43:12]  Yeah, I've got to win the jury over.
[00:43:14]  And that's why bad comics who are like, oh, the crowd are too woke for me.
[00:43:17]  It's like, no, no, no, you're a bad lawyer.
[00:43:19]  You couldn't get any clients on it.
[00:43:21]  Couldn't convince a jury of your peers that your premise was innocent.
[00:43:25]  If you had an attorney say that, I'd be like, dude, you're going to jail because that jury's so woke.
[00:43:31]  Jury sucks.
[00:43:32]  That's not good.
[00:43:34]  You said you'd save my life.
[00:43:35]  Yeah.
[00:43:35]  Look at the fucking woke.
[00:43:38]  No, you're 100% right.
[00:43:39]  It's, it's, yeah, comedy should be like your emotional reaction to something.
[00:43:43]  Yeah.
[00:43:43]  It doesn't have to be what you know to be right or wrong.
[00:43:46]  It's how you feel in the moment.
[00:43:47]  Like all the old Borschfeld comics, like, take my wife, please.
[00:43:50]  You don't really want someone to take your fucking wife.
[00:43:52]  But there's moments where you're like, get this bitch away from me, right?
[00:43:55]  And that's the sentiment of the joke.
[00:43:57]  So as long as you're honoring that emotional reaction to the joke, it doesn't matter what's fucking true or not true.
[00:44:02]  And these Ben Shapiro types, so I don't know why we would give a flying fuck what they think about comedy anyway.
[00:44:07]  Like he literally says, facts don't care about your feelings.
[00:44:09]  Comedy should not deal with facts at all.
[00:44:13]  Like the facts, guys, stay out of comedy.
[00:44:15]  We are liars.
[00:44:16]  You know what I mean?
[00:44:17]  I want the liar comics.
[00:44:19]  I want the comments like, yo, I'm going to lie and it's going to be funny for the next hour.
[00:44:21]  I'm like, I like you.
[00:44:23]  You are interesting to me.
[00:44:26]  You know, like when Patrice O'Neill talks about Harassment Day.
[00:44:31]  He's not literally saying we should sexually harass women one day out of the year, but before you do it.
[00:44:40]  That's all comedy has to be.
[00:44:41]  It'd be funny if.
[00:44:42]  Yeah, yeah.
[00:44:43]  I don't want to do that.
[00:44:44]  It'd be funny if we got the grooming gangs and we got the girls that fucking everybody.
[00:44:48]  It'd be funny if we connected them.
[00:44:50]  Tell the grooming gang, show up at Bonnie Blue's next thing.
[00:44:54]  It'd be funny if.
[00:44:56]  Why is that so hard for these nerds like Shapiro to understand?
[00:45:00]  Because you're just super autistic, like ones and zeros guy.
[00:45:05]  Yeah.
[00:45:05]  And the comedy is in between ones and zeros.
[00:45:07]  Yeah, it's twos and threes and fours and fives.
[00:45:09]  Well, now you're exciting them.
[00:45:10]  You're saying.
[00:45:13]  But yes, 100%.
[00:45:14]  It's between the line.
[00:45:16]  It's that emotion, it's that feeling.
[00:45:17]  It's everything in between.
[00:45:18]  Yeah, most people have a thing where they go, there's nothing funny about blank.
[00:45:21]  You know what I mean?
[00:45:22]  And the comics go, no, there's something funny about.
[00:45:24]  It's not to you.
[00:45:26]  About like this.
[00:45:27]  And that's why we do it.
[00:45:28]  You're not a comedian.
[00:45:30]  Yeah.
[00:45:30]  Yeah.
[00:45:30]  Ben Shapiro, you're the guy who says if comedians are too woke or not.
[00:45:34]  Yeah.
[00:45:36]  You have a new girlfriend, right?
[00:45:37]  Yes.
[00:45:37]  Has she seen your old set where you talk about your old girlfriend?
[00:45:41]  Oh, I can't wait for this breakup.
[00:45:45]  All my cards are with me.
[00:45:47]  But speaking of understanding comedy.
[00:45:49]  She's like, I wonder if she's seen the old set and is like, oh, I better act right, bro.
[00:45:54]  She is out of line.
[00:45:55]  If she wants to be famous, act very wrong.
[00:45:59]  Yeah, you got to be careful for the toxics.
[00:46:03]  The girl I'm with now is we've been friends for a few years.
[00:46:06]  So she, we were friends actually when I was working Not Stephos.
[00:46:09]  So she's seen like an early warm-up for that show.
[00:46:11]  We've been together since July.
[00:46:13]  And yeah, she's great.
[00:46:16]  Asian?
[00:46:16]  Yeah.
[00:46:17]  No.
[00:46:19]  It's not an iJoke.
[00:46:23]  Go back to your group.
[00:46:24]  Bro, that's hilarious.
[00:46:26]  And your girls love you.
[00:46:27]  They're just like, how does he open it so much?
[00:46:31]  They just have to sleep on this side of the bed.
[00:46:34]  Oh, bro.
[00:46:37]  Nah, you're like the Taylor Swift of comics, man.
[00:46:41]  Getting the relationship break up.
[00:46:42]  Oh, I got to do special recording.
[00:46:44]  You do one hour and that sticks forever.
[00:46:50]  Bro, that's funny, though.
[00:46:51]  I mean, you got to talk about your shit.
[00:46:52]  It was a crazy story, though.
[00:46:56]  Yeah.
[00:46:56]  I'm genuinely, like, for legal reasons, I have to stress it was fictional.
[00:47:00]  Yes.
[00:47:01]  Yeah, it is.
[00:47:01]  Yes, it's a totally fictional hour.
[00:47:03]  Completely.
[00:47:04]  Completely fictional.
[00:47:05]  There's no truth in it at all.
[00:47:06]  No, And that's what I mean about it.
[00:47:07]  The resemblance to real life is purely coincidental.
[00:47:10]  Yeah, exactly.
[00:47:10]  Don't you hate those coincidences?
[00:47:12]  Yeah.
[00:47:12]  You have an hour of coincidences?
[00:47:15]  Wild stuff.
[00:47:16]  Like, my mom's an alcoholic in real life and in the show.
[00:47:18]  Like, what are the shits?
[00:47:20]  What are they?
[00:47:20]  The fucking senses.
[00:47:23]  I could have written anything, but it was just that's a funny thing to put in the beginning of a special.
[00:47:28]  Yeah, for legal reasons, all of this is fiction.
[00:47:33]  Yeah.
[00:47:34]  Oh, that's even more enticing.
[00:47:36]  Yeah, right.
[00:47:37]  It's uh, yeah.
[00:47:38]  It was, it was interesting putting a special like that out because you know that for me, that hour.
[00:47:44]  So the hour you're talking about there is called Juicy.
[00:47:47]  And that is more of like an Edinburgh Festival type hour of stand-up where it's, you know, it's one long story.
[00:47:54]  I'm sat down for a lot of it.
[00:47:55]  It's like we shot it in a small room very deliberately.
[00:48:00]  And that is not the way I've came up.
[00:48:03]  Although I, you know, I've gone to the Edinburgh Festival and done hours and stuff, I've never really, before that show, done like a long narrative hour and like figured out the reaction from like people who followed me for years and like fans of like art, podcasts and stuff was like this, like I love all your stand-up, I love all your jokes, I love all the routines.
[00:48:22]  This is just different and the fact that there's like a, there's genuine like pieces of you and there's moments where you're not even trying to be funny and you're just talking to us.
[00:48:31]  It's a totally different thing and we want more of that.
[00:48:34]  And then, with the so I put a special out in November, the most recent one, and that's a lot more clubby again, because I wanted to just go back out and do what I've done for years.
[00:48:44]  I do think the next show I do will probably be another like narrative one.
[00:48:49]  I want to like try another story and try and do another thing.
[00:48:52]  It's uh yeah, the the way it was received, like when, when you can really sort of put a piece of you like and be, you know, talk about your actual life and what you actually felt at moments, and and proper, give like, give people a real story, the reaction to it, like if, like the special I've just put out, I'm really proud of it.
[00:49:11]  I think it's great.
[00:49:13]  A lot of people have messaged me and being like this is so funny love it.
[00:49:16]  They're sharing it.
[00:49:17]  This is the best, like the funniest hour standup I've seen.
[00:49:19]  When I was getting messages about juicy they were like paragraphs in the DMs like, yeah, this it made me affect people differently in general, like if somebody walks in the room right now and goes, guys, I got a crazy story.
[00:49:30]  We're gonna give them about like two minutes of our attention, no matter what.
[00:49:35]  It's like our earliest form of digesting information, before we could like write shit down.
[00:49:38]  It was just people saying yo, this is kind of wild.
[00:49:40]  Yeah, I mean the Odyssey, who the fuck remembered that entire story?
[00:49:44]  But we're hardwired to remember these things that have this long-form narrative.
[00:49:47]  You know it's like if we wanted little chunks of things, movies wouldn't exist.
[00:49:53]  No, but when you sit down for two hours, it's this one beautiful long story that kind of reflects, you know where our lives are led.
[00:50:01]  You know so.
[00:50:02]  But mixing things up, I think, is important too.
[00:50:05]  You got to always keep your fans on their toes, I think like once they start expecting something yeah, there can be a little boredom that comes with it.
[00:50:12]  But they show up and they see this hour and it's all these punchy jokes and they're like oh whoa, that's right oh, he also does this, and then you hit them next time with something completely different.
[00:50:20]  That's that's what I want to do.
[00:50:21]  Like the hour I've just put out, I like I love doing it.
[00:50:24]  I worked with Alfie again who like helped me with juicy, like directed it.
[00:50:28]  He was at like a lot of the.
[00:50:29]  He was also opening for me, so he was at a lot of the tour shows being like hey, you've done this a little different to last night.
[00:50:34]  Last night was better and stuff like that.
[00:50:35]  He's really good for that.
[00:50:37]  And uh, we shot this most recent one in my like bucket list venue and I like your bucket list venue is Msg and that's why I flew out for that with Carl.
[00:50:45]  That was.
[00:50:46]  It was so good that you should be there for that.
[00:50:48]  Thank you, man.
[00:50:48]  But my book, the first venue I ever seen comedy in was the Liverpool Empire Theater.
[00:50:54]  It's a British comic called Ross Noble.
[00:50:56]  Yeah he, uh and I I was 16.
[00:51:00]  i just like sort of found out like live comedy was a real thing it wasn't just like something that was on the tv every now and then and i loved it and that was sort of the start of like oh i can do this and i remember like when i started i was like by the time i'm 30 i want to headline that room yeah by the time i did it i was 32 but the two years for covert i'm taking that off And we did two, like, I fucking, you know, incredible, like, hometown sports back home.
[00:51:26]  So we did two shows in one night in the Empire Theatre.
[00:51:28]  So that was nearly 5,000 tickets.
[00:51:30]  And then later in the tour, we did the arena.
[00:51:32]  And I've got the footage from that where, you know, the jokes are a little different.
[00:51:36]  And like, we can release some clips from that eventually.
[00:51:39]  But the special shots to just like the guy, like Will, who's like our camera guy at our podcast and like our production company, like he's filmed with me for years now.
[00:51:49]  And he knows what I want from a special.
[00:51:51]  Like a big thing for me is there's always movement in the shots.
[00:51:54]  I never want a camera on a tripod that's like got no one doing this with it.
[00:51:57]  Like if it's static, I want a slow zoom.
[00:52:00]  And he not only like just got what I wanted, the level to which he's filmed it, the shots, the backdrop, the haze is the perfect, like, it's so good.
[00:52:12]  The audiences were fucking incredible.
[00:52:14]  And I'm so happy with how it came out.
[00:52:18]  Yeah.
[00:52:19]  And I'm really happy with his an hour to stand up, but just as a video, it's yeah.
[00:52:24]  You can watch it with the sound off and I think you'd like it because he shot it so well.
[00:52:28]  And I'm so proud of like, we did that with my team.
[00:52:30]  Yeah.
[00:52:31]  And that genuinely comes like genuinely from like what you guys do.

=== Stand-Up Video Success (07:54) ===

[00:52:34]  Do you know what I mean?
[00:52:34]  Like watching people like who just go, oh, I'm just going to make it myself.
[00:52:38]  Yeah.
[00:52:39]  And like, I shopped it around and we got a couple of bites and not the bites that I wanted.
[00:52:44]  And I was like, it's going on YouTube.
[00:52:45]  I want people to see it.
[00:52:46]  Yeah.
[00:52:47]  Yeah.
[00:52:48]  And the reason I came out to the States for these two weeks, I wanted to start again where no one really knows me.
[00:52:55]  Yeah.
[00:52:55]  And be going on in comedy clubs where they're like, who the fuck's it?
[00:52:58]  And I've got to win them over again.
[00:53:00]  Because like most comedy clubs in the UK, like most comedy clubs in the UK, like I could probably get that a little bit, but they'll always be like 10% or whatever.
[00:53:07]  And if I do it in Liverpool at my home club, at least half the room are like, oh, there's Adam.
[00:53:12]  So I just wanted to, like, being in New York and Austin and being like, I'm starting again with clubby stuff for now because we're about to go on like a podcast tour where I've got to do 20 minutes.
[00:53:20]  Yeah.
[00:53:20]  But in the back of my head, I'm making, I'm sitting in cafes all day over here being like, what's this next like long story to give?
[00:53:27]  There's got to be something real.
[00:53:28]  Like you can't make a story out of nothing.
[00:53:31]  No, but like I watching you do your show that I don't know how much you spoke about when your special's coming out and whatever.
[00:53:37]  Come out, I don't know if we've mentioned it, but basically next month, next month it comes out on Netflix.
[00:53:41]  Yeah.
[00:53:42]  But like I watched you do that twice, once in Manchester, once at MSG.
[00:53:45]  Yeah.
[00:53:46]  And you saw the new version in MSG.
[00:53:48]  Yeah.
[00:53:48]  Because I didn't announce the thing yet.
[00:53:51]  Yeah.
[00:53:51]  Yeah.
[00:53:51]  But maybe there's a the back half of that special is the story.
[00:53:56]  Yeah.
[00:53:57]  Yeah.
[00:53:57]  Like the front-loaded like you're being short to what everyone knows, but there's a like for people who haven't seen that tour live and are going to watch the special.
[00:54:05]  Yeah.
[00:54:06]  There's a shift in that out, isn't it?
[00:54:07]  Yeah.
[00:54:08]  From infamous.
[00:54:09]  Yeah.
[00:54:09]  It's not the same.
[00:54:11]  It's not just another album.
[00:54:12]  It's that was the idea.
[00:54:14]  I mean, yeah, the idea is I wanted to tell a story.
[00:54:17]  And it was not something I'd never done before.
[00:54:18]  I also wanted to be personal.
[00:54:19]  Like I never thought my life was interesting enough to be personal.
[00:54:22]  You know, and then this was really hard for us to have a kid.
[00:54:26]  And then I started talking about on stage.
[00:54:28]  And then I started getting those reactions from people.
[00:54:30]  And they were like, well, yeah, I'm kind of going through the same thing.
[00:54:32]  And I was like, oh, shit, it's not just me.
[00:54:34]  And I started reading all these books about storytelling and like learning like what the structure was and the different arcs that you have to do and the three acts.
[00:54:43]  And I was like, okay, maybe I can turn this into a story, but I don't want the audience to think that it's a one-man show.
[00:54:50]  Yeah, yeah.
[00:54:50]  Because I always felt like that was a little bit of a, it's like you're asking them to lower their expectations a little.
[00:54:57]  You know what I mean?
[00:54:57]  So I want it to start as stand-up and then turn into this thing and see if I can kind of hold your attention.
[00:55:04]  And then the weirdest thing would happen is like you get into the story and like you can just feel the energy.
[00:55:09]  Yeah.
[00:55:10]  Like they're like, where's this coming?
[00:55:11]  Like, what's going to happen?
[00:55:11]  Wait, no.
[00:55:12]  And yeah, I can see why you're compelled to do it again because once you capture their attention in that way, it feels different than just punch-lons.
[00:55:22]  If I'm fully honest with you, so the most recent special that went out was called What's Wrong With Me.
[00:55:26]  Yeah.
[00:55:27]  And when I first sat down to start writing that, I had the exact same sort of plan.
[00:55:31]  Yeah.
[00:55:31]  It was like, I'm going to front load it with bang, bang, bang, bang.
[00:55:34]  And the last 20 minutes is going to be more whatever.
[00:55:39]  I'm curious, how much of the last 20 is true?
[00:55:41]  Like the kid throwing the shoe.
[00:55:44]  That's MRI.
[00:55:45]  So we haven't clipped that yet.
[00:55:47]  So, but we can talk about that.
[00:55:49]  That is almost all true.
[00:55:52]  Really?
[00:55:52]  Okay.
[00:55:53]  So but also none of it is.
[00:55:54]  Yeah, none of it is.
[00:55:56]  None of it is true.
[00:55:58]  No, no, no, this isn't juicy.
[00:56:00]  This isn't.
[00:56:00]  I'm just saying.
[00:56:03]  None of it is.
[00:56:04]  So I was at the airport.
[00:56:07]  So the story at the end of this show, which I thought would be more of a narrative story, sit down, let's have a conversation bit.
[00:56:17]  And just as I was doing it on tour and working with Alfie on it, Alfie was like, this can just be punchy.
[00:56:23]  Like it's funny enough that we can keep it punchy and it's still interesting.
[00:56:26]  And you don't have to slow down quite as much as you did with Juicy.
[00:56:29]  So let's just let it be what it's going to be.
[00:56:31]  Like let the sort of show choose itself, sort of thing.
[00:56:35]  But I like the I'm a bit fucking mental with like health anxiety, like bad hypochondria.
[00:56:42]  So like I've thought I'm having like heart attacks and strokes before.
[00:56:45]  And it's like really all consuming at times.
[00:56:49]  And for a year, for a year, I didn't get checked for a year, but I had googled symptoms and I was pretty sure I had multiple cirrhosis, MS, right?
[00:57:03]  Which is not like a death sentence, but severely life effect.
[00:57:06]  And it can limit your life, but it's not like you're going to die, whatever.
[00:57:10]  And I was sat at the airport waiting to do a show to Belfast.
[00:57:14]  And I've been putting it off because in my head, genuinely, I was like, I don't want to know I've got it because then I've got it.
[00:57:22]  Yeah.
[00:57:22]  And then, yeah, you're dead.
[00:57:23]  I'd rather think I've got it.
[00:57:26]  I feel that 100%.
[00:57:28]  I'd rather think I've got it than have it.
[00:57:30]  I avoid that shit.
[00:57:31]  So I'm putting it off, but like literally, literally.
[00:57:35]  So this is the true version of the story.
[00:57:37]  I would wake up every morning, and the first thing my brain would give me was, You got MS, just so you know.
[00:57:42]  Yeah, what?
[00:57:43]  And then I'm going to sleep at night and it didn't matter.
[00:57:45]  Unless I was like hammered and I'd been out with the boys and you just pass out.
[00:57:48]  Like if I'm like sober and going to bed and like the room's quiet, my brain be like, yeah, just go to sleep.
[00:57:52]  But you know, you have got MS. So just so you know, like it's just constant all the time.
[00:57:57]  And like if I was really hungover, all the symptoms got real worse and it was bad.
[00:58:03]  And then I'm sat in the airport waiting for this flight to Belfast, which is a 25-minute flight.
[00:58:10]  It was delayed by two hours.
[00:58:11]  And I'm sat there and there were two people who were obviously also waiting for the same plane.
[00:58:16]  And there's a woman and the guy she cares for who was like severely disabled, like shouty, non-control of limbs to say.
[00:58:29]  And he took, he kept taking his shoe off and throwing it down the airport lounge.
[00:58:36]  And I was just really enjoying it.
[00:58:39]  It was really funny.
[00:58:40]  It was so fun.
[00:58:41]  Like I just for the first time I've seen it, I'm like, she's having a bad day.
[00:58:46]  Like I think I'm having a bad day waiting for this plane, but like she's having a bad day.
[00:58:50]  And she keeps like putting it back on.
[00:58:52]  She's putting on, she's going, stop it now.
[00:58:55]  People are watching us.
[00:58:56]  It's not funny.
[00:58:57]  Fucking stop it now.
[00:58:59]  And then he would sit there and he would just wait a few minutes and he'd take it off again.
[00:59:03]  So he like he'd done it for the entire delay.
[00:59:06]  And every time it got funnier.
[00:59:08]  And in the end, I'm like laughing out loud and like clapping and stuff.
[00:59:12]  And then that day, genuinely, was the day I booked my MRI scan to get tested for MS. Yeah.
[00:59:22]  Because the biggest fear I had, and this is true, was that I wouldn't, if it was going to affect my speech and my ability to hold a microphone and stuff, if it affected my ability to do stand-up, which is all I really cared about, is being able to be a comic.
[00:59:35]  That's all I want to be a great comic.
[00:59:36]  And that's like my life thing.
[00:59:38]  I was like, if it takes that away from me.
[00:59:41]  I won't find it funny.
[00:59:43]  I won't find having a disability funny.
[00:59:46]  And watching him throw his shoe again and again and again.
[00:59:50]  And the fact that every time she told him off, he waited.
[00:59:55]  So he knew what he was doing.
[00:59:57]  Because otherwise, if he just didn't know, he'd have took it straight off again and do it again.
[01:00:00]  But he was waiting until it was funny again.
[01:00:02]  And it didn't matter that he was like, like that.
[01:00:05]  There was a part of his brain that was like, this is hilarious.
[01:00:08]  And I was like, if he's seeing the funny side of what he's got, like, I'm not going to be that.
[01:00:15]  So I've got to be able to find humor in mine.
[01:00:18]  And I went and got checked.
[01:00:19]  And then it turned out you were gay or I was drinking too much.
[01:00:27]  Different disease.
[01:00:28]  Different disease.

=== Heart Attack Stage Joke (09:25) ===

[01:00:29]  Run to the family.
[01:00:32]  I wonder if you've got what that guy has.
[01:00:34]  You know what I mean?
[01:00:34]  You guys both think shoe off is the funniest thing ever.
[01:00:36]  You're like, shoe.
[01:00:37]  I got that.
[01:00:39]  And you know, you know, since I got checked, because I hadn't really spoken to any of like my friends about the symptoms and stuff.
[01:00:48]  Yeah.
[01:00:49]  So like I just googled it and Google goes, you've got MS. Yeah, of course.
[01:00:52]  And I've spoken to like mates of mine since and I'm like, oh, it was, you know, it's there.
[01:00:56]  And they were like, yeah, I get that too.
[01:00:57]  But like, like, I know there's like, there's been this like wave of like men need to talk more.
[01:01:01]  Yeah, yeah.
[01:01:02]  If we did just have a little, I don't believe it's too grand for it.
[01:01:05]  Yeah, hey, like, I don't know.
[01:01:07]  You know, when you go like heavy on a night and you wake up the next day?
[01:01:10]  Yeah.
[01:01:10]  Do you ever like struggle to sort of articulate your words?
[01:01:14]  Oh, yeah.
[01:01:14]  You can't think of words.
[01:01:15]  You can try to remember on stage.
[01:01:16]  You're like, or do you ever like go to speak and you need to swallow your saliva?
[01:01:21]  Like you've got to swallow.
[01:01:22]  These are all symptoms of multiple cirrhosis.
[01:01:25]  Oh.
[01:01:26]  So like this is what I was getting to like a severe level.
[01:01:28]  If I was having like a big night and I'm going on stage the next night and I'm having to like constantly sip water so that I can get through the set.
[01:01:34]  And then I googled it and I was like, oh, what is it?
[01:01:36]  And it's like, you've got, you've definitely got multiple cirrhosis.
[01:01:40]  And for a year, I was like putting it off and I paid a lot of money for the doctor to get it.
[01:01:43]  So all these people are out here running 10K for a bunch of alcoholics.
[01:01:50]  Six in the morning and dog and freezing cold for a guy with two inches.
[01:01:55]  Fucking assholes.
[01:01:57]  And you're so stressed about it.
[01:01:58]  You're like, you know what'll help this?
[01:01:59]  Alcohol.
[01:02:04]  Because when you're drunk, you're like, I don't have MS. I can speak fine.
[01:02:08]  I can get my words out really clearly right now.
[01:02:11]  Have you been a hypochondria forever?
[01:02:13]  It started about a month after my dad had a heart attack.
[01:02:17]  So like I had a real, like there was a good few months in.
[01:02:20]  My mum died in September.
[01:02:22]  My dad had a heart attack and nearly died in December.
[01:02:26]  And a month later, I started getting like severe chest pain.
[01:02:30]  And I went to hospital via ambulance, like well into double figures in one calendar month.
[01:02:36]  Now in the UK, that costs nothing.
[01:02:39]  So like over here, I probably couldn't have afforded the hypochondria.
[01:02:45]  But like in the UK, I would turn up and I'd be like, I think I'm having a heart attack again.
[01:02:48]  And it'd be like the same nurse.
[01:02:50]  And she'd be like, okay, cool.
[01:02:52]  So they'd hook me up to the ECG machine and they'd like check.
[01:02:55]  And then, but every time this is what they'd say, they'd go, look, you're 24.
[01:03:01]  You don't smoke.
[01:03:02]  You don't do cocaine.
[01:03:03]  Yeah.
[01:03:04]  You're not going to have a heart attack.
[01:03:06]  Like, you're not.
[01:03:08]  But you could.
[01:03:10]  Yeah, don't say that.
[01:03:12]  So if you get like worse symptoms than you had today, if it feels really different, then come back because then we need to see.
[01:03:18]  And your brain goes, got it.
[01:03:19]  Yeah.
[01:03:20]  And then the next day, I'm like, this feels different to get to.
[01:03:23]  999.
[01:03:24]  And then back to the hospital.
[01:03:25]  You're just a regular hospital.
[01:03:26]  You'd walk in and be like, I'll take the same thing.
[01:03:31]  Room two.
[01:03:32]  Yeah, room two.
[01:03:35]  I think MS is hard to talk.
[01:03:38]  The heart attack stuff was the worst.
[01:03:40]  That was a good like 18 months of being completely uncontrollable.
[01:03:44]  And it was definitely tied to, you know, you lose a mum and then.
[01:03:47]  Like, they, of course.
[01:03:48]  Like, this is, this is also how much my family drinks this trip.
[01:03:52]  So my dad had that heart attack on my little brother's 18th birthday.
[01:03:56]  Yeah.
[01:03:56]  Can we get another beer or two in here for Adam?
[01:03:59]  Yeah, of course.
[01:04:00]  I want to see some symptoms.
[01:04:03]  I have to wait till tomorrow.
[01:04:05]  Grab me one too.
[01:04:07]  Go on.
[01:04:08]  My dad had that heart attack on my little brother's 18th birthday.
[01:04:12]  Oh, Jesus.
[01:04:13]  Right?
[01:04:14]  So I had a set at the comedy club in Liverpool.
[01:04:16]  So my little brother was going for a meal in the little village near where we lived, West Derby Village.
[01:04:24]  And then was going into the city centre, like to go out into the early hours of the morning.
[01:04:30]  So I was like, I'll come to the meal.
[01:04:32]  I'll quickly run into town, do my set, and then I'll come and meet you back at the bar.
[01:04:36]  He's like, great.
[01:04:37]  So I have the meal.
[01:04:38]  I go to town and I'm literally behind the curtain waiting to go on.
[01:04:42]  And my phone rings.
[01:04:44]  And it's, thanks, man.
[01:04:46]  It's me little brother.
[01:04:48]  And initially, I thought, I'll just turn this off.
[01:04:52]  I was like, there's 15 of him and his friends.
[01:04:54]  And what he's probably going to be like is, can you get me into your show?
[01:04:58]  Many of me friends want to watch your set.
[01:04:59]  So I thought, I'll just fucking button him.
[01:05:02]  And, you know, I'll see him after the thing.
[01:05:05]  But something made me answer the phone.
[01:05:07]  Fucking button.
[01:05:09]  Like a ticket lamp.
[01:05:12]  And I answered it.
[01:05:12]  And he goes, you need to leave the comedy club right now.
[01:05:16]  And I was like, I'm not fucking doing that.
[01:05:17]  I'm about to go on stage.
[01:05:18]  What do you mean?
[01:05:18]  He goes, my dad's having a heart attack.
[01:05:20]  And I was like, what?
[01:05:22]  And I like, obviously, I don't really remember the next like five minutes, but apparently I just go like white.
[01:05:26]  Yeah.
[01:05:27]  And so there's another guy that was supposed to go on after me.
[01:05:30]  He was like, I'll just, he's like the host's already on.
[01:05:33]  They think I'm on.
[01:05:34]  And like this pass in the no culture in America where it's like someone else is going on.
[01:05:37]  That's not a thing.
[01:05:38]  So the host just goes, Adam Rowe.
[01:05:40]  And this other guy, Pete, goes on stage and just explains what's going on.
[01:05:45]  And so I call my dad's phone because Jack's like, he's gone to the hospital.
[01:05:53]  And the doctor answers and he's like, yeah, he's currently in the Royal Liverpool Hospital, but he's being transferred to Broad Green Heart and Chest Hospital because he is having a heart attack and they need to, you know, they need to operate on him right now.
[01:06:05]  So we go to Broad Green Hospital.
[01:06:08]  I get there.
[01:06:08]  And then my family have sort of heard of it.
[01:06:12]  Like they've heard what's going on through my brother and other people.
[01:06:15]  So like my auntie or aunt for you guys, her partner, my uncle, and a few cousins.
[01:06:21]  And there's a load of us in this little room.
[01:06:22]  And the first thing, you know, when you like, this is how comedy can really like fix an awful moment.
[01:06:28]  We're all just so sad.
[01:06:29]  My dad is like under the knife having the surgery like right now to try and fix what's going on.
[01:06:34]  And we're all just like devastated and don't know what to do.
[01:06:37]  And my uncle, who's not with us anymore, he died a few years ago.
[01:06:41]  He was just the most gentle giant in the world, but he was also fucking stupid, like so thick.
[01:06:47]  And he goes into the bathroom and he comes back in.
[01:06:50]  And he goes, this is a real, like fancy hospital.
[01:06:57]  And I was like, what?
[01:06:59]  It's an NHS hospital on the outskirts of Liverpool.
[01:07:01]  What the fuck are you talking about?
[01:07:02]  And he goes, no, I don't know.
[01:07:04]  They make you sign the wall to say you've been and used the toilet.
[01:07:08]  And I was like, no, that's the cleaning thing.
[01:07:12]  And he had got a pen.
[01:07:14]  Like, he just got rid of his cancer.
[01:07:16]  Like, no.
[01:07:17]  So, you know, on the wall of a bathroom when the cleaner goes in and cleans the bathroom, they have to go 1 p.m.
[01:07:23]  Sheila cleaned the thing.
[01:07:24]  There's just like Marie, Marie, Marie, Sheila, Sheila, Sheila, and then just Colin.
[01:07:31]  And we're all fucking dying laughing at that.
[01:07:33]  And another hour goes, my dad's still in the surgery.
[01:07:36]  And then this guy comes in and he goes, Look, your dad's going to make it.
[01:07:41]  He's in the pretty, you know, it was a pretty big clot that he had.
[01:07:44]  And we've got it out.
[01:07:45]  And it's going to be a long road to recovery, but we're going to bring him past this waiting room you're in now to put him into there.
[01:07:51]  But you're not going to be able to see him for a couple of hours, just so you know.
[01:07:55]  And we're like, okay.
[01:07:57]  And then about 30 seconds later, we hear like double doors go to the end of the corridor.
[01:08:01]  So we're all poking our heads out the door.
[01:08:03]  And my dad is being wheeled on a bed, but he has sat up off his fucking head on drugs with thumbs up.
[01:08:12]  And I go, are you all right?
[01:08:14]  And he says, I think I'll make last orders.
[01:08:18]  What is that?
[01:08:19]  Like the last call at the bar.
[01:08:24]  It's nice of him to let you guys know.
[01:08:25]  Like, hey, 20 minutes later, he's like, you can go and see him.
[01:08:28]  And my dad was like, so are we leaving?
[01:08:30]  And we were like, you're going to be here for like a week.
[01:08:32]  And he's like, I'm fine.
[01:08:33]  He was like, you've had a heart attack.
[01:08:35]  He's like, yeah, but I'm not anymore.
[01:08:39]  It's perfect now.
[01:08:41]  He's like a football player with a thumbs up.
[01:08:43]  He's getting stretchered off.
[01:08:44]  You know, it's kind of nice.
[01:08:45]  Let everyone know you're okay.
[01:08:47]  Oh, that's wild.
[01:08:48]  But he's passed, you said?
[01:08:49]  My uncle has.
[01:08:50]  The guy who signed this.
[01:08:51]  But your dad, my dad's still with us.
[01:08:53]  He's like, okay, good shit.
[01:08:54]  How old are you now?
[01:08:55]  33.
[01:08:56]  Okay, cool.
[01:08:57]  Are you boozing less now?
[01:08:58]  Ever since your MS?
[01:08:59]  No.
[01:09:01]  If anything, like.
[01:09:02]  Now that you know you don't have a nice cheers.
[01:09:06]  I go through phases with drinking where I'm like, I'll go like, like, I've signed up for a half marathon in May.
[01:09:12]  So like for like eight weeks before that, I'll really cut it out and I'll run like a lot more than my weight always fluctuates me drinking.
[01:09:19]  Like I go real hard for like a while and then go, let's just have a little chill.
[01:09:23]  Which period are you in right now?
[01:09:26]  So normally I would like have a relatively quiet January, but my birthday is the 11th of January.
[01:09:32]  And you're in New York.
[01:09:33]  Yeah, no.
[01:09:34]  So like with this year, I was like, Christmas was a heavy session.
[01:09:38]  And then January, I was like, the 2nd of January is my housemate's, like my roommate's birthday.
[01:09:44]  The 11th is my birthday.
[01:09:46]  I'm in New York and Austin for two weeks.
[01:09:49]  I was like, we'll see what February looks like, you know?
[01:09:51]  But then the podcast's on tour in Dublin in February.

=== Birthday Gift Basket Drama (15:59) ===

[01:09:55]  So then we have to see what Mark looks like.
[01:09:57]  So it's my dad's birthday.
[01:09:58]  Oh, my God.
[01:09:59]  Yeah, you got to get after that.
[01:10:01]  Yeah, that's good.
[01:10:02]  And then April's Easter, you know, that's a big week.
[01:10:07]  Have you ever turned down a drink from your family?
[01:10:10]  I did this like a week ago.
[01:10:12]  My dad was like, oh, yeah, what are you going to have?
[01:10:13]  I was like, I'm not going to drink.
[01:10:14]  He goes, all right, come on.
[01:10:16]  I was like, no, I'm not.
[01:10:17]  He goes, all right, we'll just have two more lows.
[01:10:19]  And just got him just ordering a drink.
[01:10:20]  He's like, all right.
[01:10:21]  I wish Alex would learn how to turn down a drink.
[01:10:25]  I wish he was like, yo, you can't take this motherfucker anywhere.
[01:10:29]  Are you heavy on the booth?
[01:10:30]  No, he's not heavy on the booth.
[01:10:31]  But if he has like three drinks, he has no ability to control the questions that he asks any people.
[01:10:37]  No matter what the environment he's in.
[01:10:40]  I'm going to ask you about your eye.
[01:10:41]  Ask me about the eye.
[01:10:43]  Let him have two more drinks.
[01:10:45]  So you're supposed to say he's a real fist.
[01:10:47]  Everyone's dead?
[01:10:48]  Yeah.
[01:10:50]  Okay.
[01:10:50]  So can you see better out of that?
[01:10:54]  Okay.
[01:10:55]  So we go down to do this.
[01:10:57]  I love that you're playing paddle, by the way.
[01:10:58]  You were telling me out there you're playing.
[01:11:00]  Yeah.
[01:11:00]  Love that.
[01:11:02]  So I go down to do this.
[01:11:03]  I get to be a co-captain in this paddle, this reserve cup thing.
[01:11:08]  Right.
[01:11:08]  So this guy Wayne and Reserve, they're really like the people that are pushing paddle in America.
[01:11:13]  And they have this big cup and they get like the 16 best players in the world and they go do this tournament.
[01:11:17]  It's awesome.
[01:11:17]  You get to play and watch these guys and it's incredible.
[01:11:20]  And I'm obsessed with this sport.
[01:11:21]  It's not even popular yet.
[01:11:22]  So you're right there watching them.
[01:11:24]  It's unbelievable.
[01:11:25]  It's like, it'd be like if you were watching like the dream team in basketball scrimmage against each other, but there's only a couple hundred people in the gym.
[01:11:34]  Yeah.
[01:11:34]  It's unbelievable.
[01:11:35]  And I go, Al, you want to come down to like Miami?
[01:11:38]  It'll be fun.
[01:11:38]  We'll hang out.
[01:11:39]  He goes, yeah, actually, I would like to do that.
[01:11:41]  And I was like, oh, awesome.
[01:11:42]  Like my friend, I don't get to hang out with him that much anymore.
[01:11:44]  He's going to come down.
[01:11:45]  This is, this is great.
[01:11:46]  Comes down.
[01:11:47]  We're all hanging out.
[01:11:47]  Now, the other captain is a guy named Derek Jeter, who is the shortstop for the Yankees.
[01:11:51]  You know, Derek Jeter.
[01:11:52]  And, you know, growing up in New York, he's the king of New York, right?
[01:11:57]  And, you know, to the king, go to spoils, you know, and there was, you know, lots of great stories about Derek Jeter.
[01:12:02]  And maybe the most famous story that's ever come out about Derek Cheter is that this is a story.
[01:12:08]  This is a fictional story.
[01:12:09]  You know, is that after he would bed the most beautiful women in New York City, he would give them a gift basket of his signed memorabilia as a sign of his appreciation.
[01:12:20]  Legend.
[01:12:21]  Okay.
[01:12:22]  Yeah.
[01:12:22]  So Derek's a co-captain.
[01:12:24]  Like I get to meet Derek or he's the other captain.
[01:12:26]  I get to meet to meet Derek and I'm chopping up with him and I'm like, at a certain point in time, I'm asking about this gift basket.
[01:12:31]  And I'm like warming up to it.
[01:12:32]  And he's that like sweetest, nicest guy.
[01:12:34]  Like, he's also like, he's this nice, polite, fucking handsome, dignified dude, but he's also been like playing baseball, which is just hanging around with guys in a dugout for 20 years, maybe 30.
[01:12:47]  He's playing with the kids.
[01:12:47]  So he knows how to be like a bro and hang as well.
[01:12:50]  He's starting to get a little loose.
[01:12:52]  We're busting balls a little bit.
[01:12:54]  And Alex comes over and Alex is so excited.
[01:12:57]  And Alex is like Fort Tequila is deep, right?
[01:12:59]  And I see Alex come in hot.
[01:13:02]  He appears sometimes, right?
[01:13:04]  He pops up out of nowhere.
[01:13:05]  And usually you could like hover in the periphery and I'm going to introduce you.
[01:13:08]  He introduces himself, right?
[01:13:10]  He goes, hey, I just want to let you know my name is Alex Media.
[01:13:12]  He gives him his like famous name, not even like his real name.
[01:13:17]  And he goes, his game attacks him.
[01:13:20]  Exactly.
[01:13:21]  And he goes, he goes, hey, my name is Alex Media.
[01:13:28]  I just want to know you're a legend.
[01:13:29]  And I'm like, all right, where's this going?
[01:13:31]  That's fine.
[01:13:32]  And he goes, you're a legend.
[01:13:33]  And then he looks at it.
[01:13:35]  And then Derek's like, oh, thanks so much, man.
[01:13:37]  He goes, you're a legend.
[01:13:40]  And I'm like, no, Al, don't do it.
[01:13:41]  Don't do it.
[01:13:42]  And he just goes, I got to know.
[01:13:45]  What's up with the gift basket?
[01:13:53]  Derek is so, Derek is so immediate trained, right?
[01:13:56]  He goes, man, I mean, you got to be stupid to even believe a story like that.
[01:14:01]  You got to be stupid.
[01:14:02]  Now, he don't say it in that.
[01:14:03]  He just says you got to be stupid to even believe a story like that.
[01:14:05]  So I'm not such a good denial.
[01:14:07]  It's beautiful.
[01:14:08]  Right?
[01:14:09]  You got to be stupid to even believe a story like that.
[01:14:10]  Now, I've always wanted to ask Derek this one question because I've always thought about the gift baskets because I'm like, hold on.
[01:14:16]  There are guys that probably got gifted like a signed baseball from their favorite baseball player by their girlfriend, like a Derek Cheetah signed baseball.
[01:14:24]  And after that story came out, I always wondered what those dudes thought.
[01:14:27]  Like they'd pick up that baseball and be like, how the fuck did you get this baseball?
[01:14:32]  Can I see the authentication?
[01:14:34]  Like, where the fuck is this baseball from?
[01:14:36]  Right.
[01:14:37]  And so I could try to like, you know, just calm the situation down.
[01:14:40]  I go, yeah, wouldn't that funny if a guy said that?
[01:14:42]  And he's just kind of laughing.
[01:14:43]  We're all kind of laughing.
[01:14:44]  And it goes silent for a second.
[01:14:46]  He goes, nah, but you did that shit, right?
[01:14:54]  Now, Al is so drunk, he doesn't start to realize Derek getting annoyed.
[01:14:57]  And Derek starts going, I mean, you got to be a fucking idiot to believe that.
[01:15:02]  He says, fucking idiot to believe that.
[01:15:04]  And Al goes, nah, you the man, bro.
[01:15:08]  Bro, I just tell you.
[01:15:09]  And Al has one line, right, that he had fucking in the deck for about 10 years.
[01:15:15]  He goes, ha ha ha, short stop, more like long stop.
[01:15:19]  No.
[01:15:24]  Volley goes.
[01:15:25]  Volley goes.
[01:15:26]  Volley goes, oh, yeah, that was ready to go.
[01:15:28]  Al goes, I've been waiting to say that for 10 years.
[01:15:33]  And Jeters is there the whole time.
[01:15:35]  This guy's like, I can't see, bro.
[01:15:38]  And this is his story of you.
[01:15:42]  I'm so intense.
[01:15:43]  Derek might have said three different times, you would have to be a fucking idiot to be right.
[01:15:49]  I think one of the times I was like, this fucking idiot.
[01:15:54]  And Al always prides himself on being like the coolest guy when he meets people.
[01:15:57]  Like anytime someone comes in, I take a picture of them.
[01:15:59]  Al's always like, I knew you really fucked.
[01:16:01]  Like at some point, someone's going to be like, he did a whole Instagram carousel post where it was like him and Derek Jeter, a picture of a gift basket.
[01:16:08]  Go to his Instagram right now.
[01:16:10]  He's snitching himself.
[01:16:13]  He's a father of four.
[01:16:14]  He's a businessman now.
[01:16:16]  He's a legend.
[01:16:17]  At some point, Derek Jesus is going to be sat with one of his friends.
[01:16:19]  And one of his friends is going to be like, oh, there's this podcast I watched called Flavor.
[01:16:22]  Like, look at this.
[01:16:22]  And Derek Jesus's going to go, I met those guys at C-DOF CON.
[01:16:25]  You know what he fucking said?
[01:16:26]  He's a fucking idiot.
[01:16:28]  Look at this.
[01:16:29]  I got a happy house.
[01:16:30]  I thought I was the agent of Go Back Go Back.
[01:16:33]  You fucking cornball go back.
[01:16:35]  I thought I was at the age that I wouldn't geek out if I met one of my childhood heroes, but I just met Derek Cheter.
[01:16:41]  And that is not the case.
[01:16:42]  Next slide.
[01:16:43]  Respect.
[01:16:44]  Respect.
[01:16:44]  Next slide.
[01:16:45]  Gift basket.
[01:16:48]  Next slide.
[01:16:48]  Is there one more?
[01:16:49]  No, no, no.
[01:16:50]  There was a couple he didn't post.
[01:16:51]  I already know.
[01:16:52]  Yeah.
[01:16:53]  Trying to get ahead of it.
[01:16:55]  Oh, man.
[01:16:55]  Bro, you might have MS for real.
[01:16:59]  Shout out Derek, though.
[01:17:00]  Derek's a fucking man, dude.
[01:17:01]  You think we can get him on the podcast?
[01:17:04]  I was immediately trying to get him on the podcast.
[01:17:06]  He goes, you got to come on a podcast.
[01:17:08]  I got to make up for this, bro.
[01:17:09]  Bro, I said to him, I go, Derek, what you need to do is never come on this podcast.
[01:17:14]  Okay.
[01:17:14]  Until every one of your business deals is signed, sealed, delivered, and you are ready to retire and anger your wife and your entire family.
[01:17:20]  Then you come on Flagrant and you tell them stories with the boys.
[01:17:23]  I think I said to him, I was like, yo, you're married, I know.
[01:17:27]  Would your wife care if you gave out gift baskets?
[01:17:30]  And he's like, nah, probably not.
[01:17:32]  It's like, then you need to go with this lie and sell it right now.
[01:17:36]  I mean, it can't be true.
[01:17:38]  Like, when he said, you got to be a fucking idiot to believe it, there was a part of me that was like, yeah, that's the most ridiculous thing ever.
[01:17:43]  But you have to understand what we saw Derek Jeter as.
[01:17:46]  Like, who is the biggest football player in England when you were growing up?
[01:17:50]  For me, it was Steven Gerard.
[01:17:52]  Okay, so it's Gerard or some people, Beckham, or something.
[01:17:55]  Gerard.
[01:17:58]  Only Gerard.
[01:17:59]  Gerard.
[01:17:59]  Midfielder.
[01:18:00]  Yeah.
[01:18:00]  Yeah, I knew that from Thief.
[01:18:01]  Went to my school.
[01:18:02]  No way.
[01:18:03]  Yeah, same school.
[01:18:04]  Same school as Carl, my mate.
[01:18:06]  And Paddy the Baddy.
[01:18:07]  Oh, no way.
[01:18:08]  All the same school.
[01:18:09]  That was crazy, that Patty thing that happened.
[01:18:11]  Patty and Steven are painted on the walls.
[01:18:13]  I'm not on the walls.
[01:18:14]  You gotta get on that wall, dude.
[01:18:15]  You gotta get on that fucking wall.
[01:18:17]  So I hand out some gift baskets.
[01:18:21]  No, but shout out Derek, man.
[01:18:22]  I thought he handled your drunk ass very well.
[01:18:24]  Okay, cool.
[01:18:25]  Well, I don't know.
[01:18:26]  I kind of left the combo and I told Val, I was like, yo, get Alex the fuck out of there immediately.
[01:18:30]  I've never been born Barris.
[01:18:32]  Would you want him on the podcast now?
[01:18:33]  Or would you be worried about it?
[01:18:33]  Are you kidding?
[01:18:34]  Yeah, absolutely.
[01:18:35]  I got him.
[01:18:36]  But at the same time, it's like, I would only want him if he wanted, if he was comfortable talking that shit about what happened.
[01:18:42]  Yeah, you know, because I'm trying to like equate it to something.
[01:18:45]  Like, this guy had the city in his hand.
[01:18:47]  Like, didn't, you know, the Knicks weren't really balling like that.
[01:18:49]  We weren't winning championships.
[01:18:50]  He was winning championships.
[01:18:51]  I mean, the Yankees win.
[01:18:53]  There's an entire parade.
[01:18:54]  The whole city shuts down.
[01:18:55]  We don't have school.
[01:18:56]  Like, it's unbelievable.
[01:18:58]  You know what's crazy to me?
[01:18:59]  So, like, I love sports and I'm a real like when in Rome guy.
[01:19:04]  Yeah.
[01:19:04]  Like, if I'm somewhere, I want to go and do the thing.
[01:19:06]  So, like, while I've been in New York, but like in the past, I've been to a Knicks game, been to a Rangers game, been to a Nets game, been to a Jets game now.
[01:19:15]  Yeah.
[01:19:15]  But I went to, when me and Carl came out to see you at MSG, we went to a Yankee game.
[01:19:20]  Yeah.
[01:19:21]  I really like it.
[01:19:22]  Like, not even just the sport.
[01:19:24]  The sport's fine.
[01:19:24]  It's boring.
[01:19:25]  But, like, the idea of just being sat, not really needing to pay attention with your friend, just drinking PS drinking to do.
[01:19:31]  Yeah.
[01:19:31]  But it was fucking empty.
[01:19:34]  Really?
[01:19:35]  Was this just like a regular season game against the bum team?
[01:19:38]  So it was against the against Detroit.
[01:19:42]  But I would say 15% of seats taken.
[01:19:46]  Yeah, that's surprising.
[01:19:47]  Wow.
[01:19:47]  I mean, usually the Yankees sell tickets.
[01:19:49]  There are teams that's completely empty.
[01:19:50]  Like, it looks like it's preseason.
[01:19:52]  So, what's the point?
[01:19:53]  They play so many games, too.
[01:19:54]  Yeah, they play 162 games, and the TV deals is where they make all the money.
[01:19:58]  But I think something's got to change with baseball.
[01:20:00]  Like, I don't think there's anything.
[01:20:02]  It's got to.
[01:20:03]  Yeah.
[01:20:03]  Like, for obviously, the only sports I really cared about back home is like our football.
[01:20:08]  Yeah.
[01:20:08]  You can't, like, I can only get a ticket to a liftfield game because I know enough people who've got like, like, there's 20 of us.
[01:20:14]  We go to every game.
[01:20:15]  Yeah.
[01:20:15]  Sometimes two people can't make it.
[01:20:16]  Like, I know enough groups of that that I can normally get one or two tickets.
[01:20:19]  Yeah.
[01:20:20]  You can't, like, every single game sells out.
[01:20:22]  Like, at the start of the season, it's all gone.
[01:20:23]  Yeah.
[01:20:24]  Whether we're good or bad.
[01:20:25]  Yeah.
[01:20:25]  Like, I just can't, like, when we were there, we were just like, we were watching it, being like, oh, maybe everyone gets here for the second half.
[01:20:31]  Yeah.
[01:20:32]  Like, for the end.
[01:20:33]  And then we got for the second half.
[01:20:35]  And that's weird.
[01:20:36]  I mean, that sounds weird for Jeters not playing.
[01:20:40]  No, but even this year, they were good.
[01:20:41]  Like, that's peculiar.
[01:20:43]  Yeah.
[01:20:43]  Who's like the forgive me for being so like unknowledgeable?
[01:20:47]  Who's like the guy right now who's like expected to get a home run?
[01:20:51]  Aaron Judge.
[01:20:52]  Aaron Judge.
[01:20:52]  So I won some money on him because like a friend of mine was like, get Aaron Judge on for a home run.
[01:20:57]  And I think he got one.
[01:20:58]  Oh, you gambled.
[01:21:01]  Oh, I like that.
[01:21:01]  You like to put some money down?
[01:21:03]  Oh, yeah.
[01:21:04]  Really?
[01:21:06]  Is that like, oh, tell me, tell me, what is your spirit?
[01:21:09]  I'm going to put a grand on the Eagles.
[01:21:10]  Really?
[01:21:11]  Well, you know what?
[01:21:12]  If you're going to gamble on sports, you got to do it with steak.
[01:21:16]  We've changed outfits, but it's important because this week is maybe the greatest week in sports.
[01:21:25]  And by that, I mean, it is another reminder that the Dallas Cowboys are not in the Super Bowl.
[01:21:30]  Yeah, I'm broken.
[01:21:32]  So I take back everything I said.
[01:21:34]  I'm pretty certain the Eagles are going to win because this is just a year that God has decided to make everything I hate happen.
[01:21:39]  So the Eagles are going to win the Super Bowl.
[01:21:41]  I'm going to throw myself off of whatever fucking bridge is going to be.
[01:21:44]  I just want to remind you that Akash is having a career year right now.
[01:21:49]  Okay.
[01:21:50]  This guy's selling out 100 shows every single city he goes to.
[01:21:53]  It's unbelievable what he's doing.
[01:21:56]  And he's still upset about his football team.
[01:22:00]  Why, God, why?
[01:22:01]  That's all I can think to say.
[01:22:03]  The point is, if you're going to bet on the Super Bowl, you should not trust Akash because he's been wrong every single week.
[01:22:09]  We still trust him, but we're down to lose our money.
[01:22:12]  If I was you, I would put that money on them Kansas City Chiefs, okay?
[01:22:15]  The last team in the league that still represents a Native American.
[01:22:19]  Okay.
[01:22:20]  There's something very important about that.
[01:22:21]  That is fire.
[01:22:22]  That is fire.
[01:22:23]  100%.
[01:22:23]  Okay.
[01:22:24]  And that's why they haven't lost.
[01:22:24]  They got the luck of the Natives.
[01:22:26]  Simple as that.
[01:22:27]  If it was the Washington Redskins, they might be in it.
[01:22:31]  Oh, that's probably what I was doing.
[01:22:32]  Just saying.
[01:22:33]  But the best luck.
[01:22:35]  Who?
[01:22:35]  The Natives?
[01:22:36]  Yeah.
[01:22:36]  I know.
[01:22:37]  I think it's more irony.
[01:22:38]  Pick out the Super Bowl.
[01:22:39]  That'd be cool.
[01:22:40]  I really want to go to the Super Bowl.
[01:22:42]  Like one year.
[01:22:43]  I'd love to go.
[01:22:43]  That's a good American event.
[01:22:45]  Dan, who Dan, the co-host of our podcast, have a wave.
[01:22:49]  He's like a big, he doesn't care about football, like our football at all, really.
[01:22:53]  But he's a big NFL guy.
[01:22:54]  His team is the Saints, but he doesn't, he's not really that bothered.
[01:22:57]  He wants them to win, but like he's like, he just loves the game.
[01:23:00]  Yeah.
[01:23:00]  And he, you know, he's desperate for the Chiefs not to win this.
[01:23:03]  Wants to be more interesting than that.
[01:23:04]  And yeah, I'm really getting into it.
[01:23:06]  But yeah, like I just love the Sundays watching the NFL in the UK are great because normally Liverpool, if Liverpool play on a Saturday, great.
[01:23:14]  If they play early Sunday, I can watch Liverpool play at like lunchtime.
[01:23:18]  Oh, yeah, all your NFL games are super late.
[01:23:20]  Well, there's one that'll start at like 6 p.m.
[01:23:23]  Yeah, so I can go to the Liverpool game, get back, watch the first game.
[01:23:26]  Next game's 9:30.
[01:23:28]  I'll watch that one.
[01:23:29]  And then if I'm not tired and I still want to stay up, there's a one o'clock game and I can't be up till 4 a.m.
[01:23:33]  And it's just fucking great.
[01:23:35]  And every game, but it's so easy.
[01:23:38]  I know like you've got like a sponsor there, but like it's so much more difficult in the States to gamble than it is in the UK.
[01:23:44]  Oh, really?
[01:23:45]  Oh, really?
[01:23:45]  Wait, why?
[01:23:47]  Like the UK, every like strip of shops has a bookies on it.
[01:23:51]  Wait, you can't do it digitally though, you know?
[01:23:53]  Yeah, you can.
[01:23:53]  I do it on my phone.
[01:23:54]  So I, I mean, they don't operate in the US, so I hope it doesn't affect your sponsor.
[01:23:58]  I use a company called Bet365.
[01:24:00]  Yeah, you should use a steak.
[01:24:06]  It's uh, it's yeah, it's so easy, but like I'll be watching like a something, like I'll have a bet on the game, like the money line of the game or the cover or whatever.
[01:24:14]  Um, and like with the with soccer with our football, like I'll have you call it a parlay, we call it an accumulator or an aka.
[01:24:21]  Yeah, like I'll have like every prem game, I'll try and whatever.
[01:24:24]  If Liverpool are playing, something and if Man United are playing, I'll bet against them.
[01:24:28]  Like Boxing Day this year, the day after Christmas.
[01:24:30]  So every year on Boxing Day, me and the lads I went to school with, we still get together.
[01:24:35]  Yeah, that's our day.
[01:24:37]  Like Christmas is fine.
[01:24:38]  Boxing day is my day.
[01:24:41]  So this year we played golf at 9 a.m.
[01:24:44]  Yeah.
[01:24:45]  By 12, we'd done like half the course.
[01:24:47]  We were like, ah, fuck this.
[01:24:48]  Let's go to the pub.
[01:24:49]  So we go to the pub after like half the course.
[01:24:52]  And we were in the pub until 6 p.m. and then Liverpool played at 8 p.m.
[01:24:57]  But there's games all day.
[01:24:58]  So 9 a.m. golf after the breakfast with the boys, straight to the pub for lunch with the boys and beers, and then Liverpool play in the night.
[01:25:05]  And I won about four and a half grand on Boxing Day.
[01:25:08]  Wow.
[01:25:09]  Man United played Wolves.
[01:25:10]  I put like 200 quid on Wolves to beat them.
[01:25:13]  At one point, Manchester City got a penalty, and I bet in that moment on them to miss that penalty, and they missed the penalty.
[01:25:20]  That I bet like a really like convoluted thing on the Liverpool game.
[01:25:24]  I don't know how you guys do this.
[01:25:25]  I get so stressed.
[01:25:26]  Like anytime I put money down, I'm just like, oh, I can't even watch.
[01:25:28]  It's like it makes it so agonizing.
[01:25:30]  You can only bet money that if you don't win, you're just like, ah, it has to be fun.
[01:25:35]  Like, people get genuine gambling problems where they're like, oh, my rent relies.
[01:25:40]  Like, I'd never ever put money down where I'm not worried about it.
[01:25:45]  And also, I set myself a limit at the start of the season.
[01:25:48]  I'm like, that's what I've put in my account.
[01:25:50]  That's what I'm betting with.
[01:25:51]  And anything else, I'm betting with the bookies' money.

=== Betting on Liverpool Matches (15:54) ===

[01:25:54]  What does that mean?
[01:25:55]  Betting with the bookies' money.
[01:25:56]  So, like, if I let's say I've put 500 quid in my account and I've won three grand.
[01:26:01]  Ah, okay.
[01:26:01]  Yeah.
[01:26:01]  So it's their money.
[01:26:03]  Like, if I, if I put a thousand pounds on the Eagles, it's, I'm putting stakes money on the thing.
[01:26:10]  Yeah.
[01:26:10]  And if I win, then great.
[01:26:12]  I get more of stakes money.
[01:26:13]  And if I lose, okay, stake get a bit of their money back.
[01:26:15]  Yeah.
[01:26:15]  Yeah.
[01:26:16]  No, I take that.
[01:26:17]  That's a good way to look at it.
[01:26:18]  Yeah.
[01:26:19]  It's not my money until the end of the season.
[01:26:20]  And at the end of the season, I'll buy a new watch.
[01:26:24]  Alex, outside of having that beautiful moment with Derek, how did you enjoy the paddles tournament?
[01:26:32]  Live and watching professionals?
[01:26:35]  Firefight.
[01:26:36]  Fire, right?
[01:26:36]  Watching them play.
[01:26:42]  What do you think of them?
[01:26:44]  Like when I don't know how you think, like when I play, I'm like, oh, I'm doing the exact same thing they're doing.
[01:26:49]  And then I see videos of it, and it just looks like someone's putting it in slow motion.
[01:26:54]  It's like sex.
[01:26:55]  It really is.
[01:26:56]  You watch Vinus, you're like, I'm that guy.
[01:26:57]  You know what I mean?
[01:26:58]  And you see yourself, you're like, what the fuck is that?
[01:27:01]  You're in a hotel woman like mirrored water and you catch yourself, you're like, oh gosh, what is he doing to that girl?
[01:27:09]  But it's fine, though, you got to get into it, man.
[01:27:14]  It is fire.
[01:27:15]  Like, watching the professionals play, it's so fast.
[01:27:18]  And they're so technical.
[01:27:19]  Like, that is a sport.
[01:27:21]  And it is dope.
[01:27:22]  And they stretch out the points for so long.
[01:27:25]  Like, there's like weird things how climate affects stuff, but when it's cold, like, the ball balls are less the air is, I guess, more dense.
[01:27:32]  So the ball doesn't fly as much.
[01:27:34]  So they can't knock it out as easily.
[01:27:36]  So the points would just last forever.
[01:27:39]  And you get to see them.
[01:27:42]  I mean, just it's just masterful the way they're doing it.
[01:27:44]  It's such a weird thing to describe to people because a lot of people don't even know what the sport is.
[01:27:49]  Half of the people think I'm talking about fucking pickleball.
[01:27:50]  I'm not talking about pickleball.
[01:27:52]  What's the difference?
[01:27:53]  So pickleball is basically like ping pong, but you're standing on the table.
[01:27:56]  Okay.
[01:27:57]  So it's like a smaller tennis court.
[01:27:59]  The ball is like this corked thing.
[01:28:01]  And it's just for basically like old people.
[01:28:05]  Okay.
[01:28:05]  Like that's the idea of it.
[01:28:06]  So when I was in school, and I'm in like high school, and it's not there anymore, but the school playground, the yard, we had what was called, and I've never seen this anywhere else in the world, but I assume it's like an iteration of either pickleball or paddle.
[01:28:22]  Paddle tennis.
[01:28:23]  It was short tennis, it was called.
[01:28:25]  Yeah.
[01:28:25]  So it's exactly the same as paddling that you save towards the back of the court.
[01:28:30]  Yeah.
[01:28:31]  And you save, but you would save underarm.
[01:28:33]  Yeah.
[01:28:34]  Some people call it like lawn tennis or something like that, man.
[01:28:36]  Yeah.
[01:28:36]  Yeah.
[01:28:36]  But that was like every like we used to get two breaks in a day.
[01:28:39]  We'd get a break at like 11 and another at one.
[01:28:41]  And the 11 o'clock break was like 20 minutes and one was an hour.
[01:28:44]  Yeah.
[01:28:45]  And you could buy a bat for five pounds, so maybe like six, seven dollars from the uh design departments of the school.
[01:28:53]  Yeah.
[01:28:53]  And you would go home and you would paint your bat, whatever, like you put like a you know an LFC logo on it or whatever.
[01:28:58]  Yeah.
[01:28:58]  And but every day we would play this.
[01:29:01]  Yeah.
[01:29:01]  And then I got to like sort of you know the age of 15 and they changed the school yard and they weren't there anymore.
[01:29:07]  And it like that sport just left my head.
[01:29:10]  And then about a year ago, I see.
[01:29:11]  You have the skills still.
[01:29:13]  Yeah, I'll keep going.
[01:29:14]  So about a year ago, I see you posting on like Instagram and I'm like, that looks a bit like an enclosed short tennis.
[01:29:22]  Yeah.
[01:29:23]  And then two separate groups of friends of mine.
[01:29:27]  So there's a there's a venue in Liverpool called Pin Social Club.
[01:29:32]  And it's a bar right in the city center.
[01:29:34]  It's got like bowling, tips, and a spool and all that.
[01:29:37]  And I run some events there for them as well.
[01:29:39]  But the guys who own and run that, they just text one day and was like, you ever played paddle?
[01:29:43]  And I was like, no, but why?
[01:29:44]  And they're like, we need an extra player tomorrow.
[01:29:46]  I was like, I'll fucking be there.
[01:29:48]  And I went and played with them.
[01:29:48]  And then my cousin, who like, we're not as close anymore because we've grown up and stuff, but we're like inseparable as kids because he's only six months older than me.
[01:29:56]  So like real close age and whatever.
[01:29:58]  He texted me and was like, did I see on your Instagram?
[01:29:59]  I'm saw you play paddle.
[01:30:00]  I was like, yeah, I've had a game.
[01:30:01]  And he's like, come play with us.
[01:30:03]  We play as well.
[01:30:03]  So there's two separate groups.
[01:30:04]  And then because of those, like the other lads that I make to it, like the podcast boys are like, I'll be up for a little game of that.
[01:30:10]  So I think there we go.
[01:30:11]  This is how it starts, bro.
[01:30:12]  Yeah.
[01:30:13]  And it becomes an obsession.
[01:30:14]  I'm telling you.
[01:30:14]  It's like everywhere it sprouted up, it becomes the dominant sport.
[01:30:18]  And yeah, I just want everybody to get into it.
[01:30:20]  Do people know you out there like as a paddle ambassador?
[01:30:22]  Probably more just from stand-up.
[01:30:24]  No, that's not true.
[01:30:25]  Anybody that's in the paddle space knows that's fire because there just aren't that many people with a following that are playing paddle.
[01:30:32]  You know, like every once in a while, the F1 guys play or like a soccer guy plays.
[01:30:36]  And there's this big deal in the paddle world.
[01:30:38]  But you don't feel like they're playing obsessively.
[01:30:42]  You know, like I take lessons in this shit.
[01:30:44]  And the fact that people think it's pickleball is so embarrassing.
[01:30:48]  Because imagine going, I have to go to my pickleball lessons.
[01:30:50]  That's what people think when I say it on the podcast.
[01:30:53]  But I've got my dementia screen and my extension fit and then my pickleball lesson.
[01:30:58]  Bro, he was taking it so seriously the day before we're in here.
[01:31:00]  We're working on stuff and we brought a bunch of cookies.
[01:31:02]  We're all eating cookies.
[01:31:03]  He's like, I can't.
[01:31:04]  I got this paddle tournament.
[01:31:05]  I didn't even realize he wasn't playing.
[01:31:06]  Yeah.
[01:31:08]  He didn't need cookies to watch, bad.
[01:31:10]  Like, that's how serious he takes it.
[01:31:12]  It's called me fat watching paddle.
[01:31:13]  I'm going to feel bad at him.
[01:31:15]  So good.
[01:31:16]  He's trying to coach from the sidelines.
[01:31:18]  Oh, this is a door.
[01:31:21]  No, I'm speaking like broken Spanish.
[01:31:23]  I'm just yelling now.
[01:31:23]  I'm like heckling him a little bit.
[01:31:25]  I'm asking the guys on the sidelines like what city they're from in Spain and shit.
[01:31:29]  And I'm just like making up things about their city.
[01:31:32]  What's the strip club in Malaga?
[01:31:33]  What's the strip club?
[01:31:34]  You know, do it for the poopy club.
[01:31:36]  You know, bro, there's a video value.
[01:31:39]  I should get the video where like I'm just trying to help out.
[01:31:41]  And again, I'm not the coach.
[01:31:43]  I'm the captain, which is just like me and Derek are some guys that are, you know, have some notoriety or whatever.
[01:31:50]  And they're like, we'll just make you guys like the captains to put some clout on the event.
[01:31:55]  We're not supposed to do anything.
[01:31:56]  But Derek's, because there's no like famous paddle players.
[01:31:59]  So they've got like the comedian who does it.
[01:32:01]  And then fuck it.
[01:32:02]  That's going to be a lot of fun.
[01:32:04]  He's friends with the guy who owns the thing as the ambassador.
[01:32:07]  And, but I take my captain role very seriously.
[01:32:10]  I'm on the sidelines with them.
[01:32:12]  I'm handing waters out.
[01:32:15]  They're from like Argentine and Spain.
[01:32:17]  Now, Spain is not a third world country.
[01:32:18]  It's a first world country, kind of.
[01:32:19]  This is your coach.
[01:32:23]  Exactly.
[01:32:24]  But like, but so like they're on the sidelines and they're still doing like third-world like techniques to like uh deal with cramps and shit.
[01:32:30]  Like they're eating bananas like they're fucking chimpanzees on the sidelines.
[01:32:33]  I get the healthiest New York.
[01:32:39]  Like get him like a Gatorade pouch or something.
[01:32:41]  Like, you know, I've never seen a marathon guy run and grab a fucking bushel of bananas and then scarf them during the match.
[01:32:48]  A full banana during a match is insane.
[01:32:50]  No, tennis players do that all the time.
[01:32:52]  During the match?
[01:32:53]  Yeah.
[01:32:53]  Oh, dude, I had no clue.
[01:32:54]  I thought they didn't know about the Gatorade pouches.
[01:32:56]  You know, they have those little energy pouches that you can like go-gurt, but Gatorade or something.
[01:33:01]  So I'm like, get him, get them some first world shit.
[01:33:03]  The guys on the sideline, I'm like, you want me to go to a grocery store?
[01:33:07]  I'm not playing a pillow to a banana right now.
[01:33:09]  But yeah, I'm like trying to hand him waters.
[01:33:11]  They're just ignoring me.
[01:33:11]  I'm like, I never saw him someplace where it's like he's one of the most famous people there and no one gave a fuck about him on the sidelines.
[01:33:24]  It was all about the playing players.
[01:33:27]  The player didn't give a flying.
[01:33:29]  It wasn't until I started making fun of them that they started like, yeah, because I also think there's like a language barrier.
[01:33:35]  They're not really sure who I am.
[01:33:36]  One guy was calling me Derek and I was like, that's the other captain.
[01:33:39]  Like, these guys have no clue what's going on.
[01:33:41]  And then when I would start teasing them a little bit, I think they were like, oh, okay, he's not.
[01:33:45]  He doesn't really think he's the coach.
[01:33:47]  In paddle, remind me because I have not played that many games yet.
[01:33:50]  So like, how's the score of Mike?
[01:33:52]  So it's just like tennis.
[01:33:53]  Like 15, 30.
[01:33:54]  Okay.
[01:33:55]  Was it 40 and then game?
[01:33:56]  How many games do you think you'd have to play against like the guy who won?
[01:34:00]  Yeah.
[01:34:00]  To win one game.
[01:34:02]  No, there would it doesn't matter.
[01:34:04]  No, he would wear out.
[01:34:05]  He would wear out.
[01:34:06]  He would like give up.
[01:34:07]  No, He would want to win so bad.
[01:34:10]  This is how I honestly believe this to my core.
[01:34:14]  Two of us could play against one of them and then he would still win.
[01:34:19]  Oh, really?
[01:34:19]  Yeah.
[01:34:20]  Two of us against one and we could hit at any point of the part of the court we want and they would still win and we wouldn't get a game out.
[01:34:26]  As long as when we served, we would have to serve into the same spot every single time.
[01:34:32]  Like, they're just unbelievable.
[01:34:34]  Like, it's just I didn't realize the difference.
[01:34:37]  It was that far, but it's far.
[01:34:39]  No, it's fucked.
[01:34:40]  It just everything looks so easy.
[01:34:41]  It's impressive.
[01:34:42]  But I really hope people go check it out and play.
[01:34:44]  It's amazing.
[01:34:44]  It'll drive your wife crazy.
[01:34:47]  My wife hates it.
[01:34:48]  She hates how much I love it.
[01:34:49]  Because you're having fun.
[01:34:50]  I'm also having so much fun.
[01:34:52]  And it's interesting because when she has fun doing things that don't involve me, I'm like really happy for her.
[01:34:56]  Because you got a break.
[01:34:57]  Because I can just play.
[01:34:59]  All roads lead to battle.
[01:35:00]  But when I go to play battle, she's furious about that for some reason.
[01:35:04]  And she's like, I'll play with you.
[01:35:05]  And I'm like, no, you won't.
[01:35:07]  Yeah, man, I'll play with you.
[01:35:11]  It's crazy how they're built like that, right?
[01:35:13]  Yeah.
[01:35:14]  You're retarded.
[01:35:16]  So you have a you have a career that keeps you out every weekend and at night.
[01:35:22]  And now you picked a sport that you're playing all the time during the day that you have to be away for like two or three hours at a time.
[01:35:29]  So now you just know.
[01:35:30]  When's he supposed to play paddle if he's going to be working overnight?
[01:35:33]  Yeah, that's a good point.
[01:35:34]  But that's not a problem.
[01:35:35]  That's why she hates it.
[01:35:36]  No, but here's what I see.
[01:35:37]  That's why when I'm playing paddle in the morning, I'm now not out partying at night.
[01:35:41]  So it's actually the best thing for her.
[01:35:42]  Also, if I play golf, that's like four, five, six hours.
[01:35:44]  I picked a sport that's only like two or three.
[01:35:46]  You're welcome.
[01:35:47]  I play golf as well.
[01:35:48]  I do.
[01:35:48]  I do both.
[01:35:49]  That's great.
[01:35:50]  And he has domestic disputes a lot.
[01:35:55]  It's a relationship in five years right now.
[01:35:58]  Yeah, but this is a good one.
[01:36:01]  You described your Sunday, and I was like, how is she okay with this?
[01:36:05]  Nine o'clock, paint with the boys, three hours of golf.
[01:36:08]  Then we go watch the football game.
[01:36:09]  I'm like, what the fuck is going on?
[01:36:12]  Like, does she not go, hey, wait, we did Christmas day together?
[01:36:17]  So the next day it's like, go away.
[01:36:19]  Oh, wow.
[01:36:19]  She has like in enough.
[01:36:21]  It's just fine.
[01:36:22]  Yeah.
[01:36:22]  Oh, wow.
[01:36:23]  Also, she's probably working.
[01:36:24]  She makes osprices.
[01:36:25]  She makes sense.
[01:36:26]  I need to get one.
[01:36:28]  That's insane.
[01:36:30]  Probably working.
[01:36:31]  He had no idea what the fuck she wanted to do.
[01:36:33]  She knows if he does.
[01:36:34]  Yeah, he does ask.
[01:36:37]  I do teach her.
[01:36:40]  It's great, honey.
[01:36:44]  That's how much he loves going to the pub.
[01:36:45]  He didn't even finish the golf match.
[01:36:46]  I don't know if you remember the stories.
[01:36:48]  We played half.
[01:36:48]  We said, fuck it.
[01:36:50]  Golfing is about drinking.
[01:36:51]  You're like, let's just stop doing the golf part.
[01:36:53]  We're drinking on the course.
[01:36:55]  You're allowed to do that, right?
[01:36:56]  Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[01:36:57]  That's a part of it.
[01:36:58]  Is golfing like I know you're super rich now that you're a successful big-time comedian, but golf in America is like a rich person sport.
[01:37:06]  It is.
[01:37:07]  Is it middle class as well?
[01:37:08]  It's so obscene as that in the UK, but like I played golf when I was a teenager and when like we had fucking no, like nothing.
[01:37:16]  So you can be middle class, you can be normal and play golf.
[01:37:19]  Yeah, totally.
[01:37:20]  But in America, that's not the case.
[01:37:21]  Like a set of assessive golf clubs for like a beginner set that aren't very good will set you back like, I don't know, 300 pounds.
[01:37:28]  Wow.
[01:37:28]  Well, like secondhand, you'd probably get it for 100.
[01:37:31]  So like you could start like with very little money.
[01:37:33]  And then to get onto like a publicly owned course, you're paying like 20 pounds to play a game.
[01:37:39]  Oh, that's not bad.
[01:37:40]  Like a really good course will cost you hundreds.
[01:37:45]  And really good golf clubs will cost you thousands.
[01:37:47]  That's the thing.
[01:37:47]  In America, it's like a quarter million dollars to join a golf club.
[01:37:51]  It's no way near that.
[01:37:52]  Or a million sometimes to join.
[01:37:53]  Yeah, it's nowhere near that.
[01:37:54]  Yeah, but maybe in Florida, around the city, it's like a lot of people.
[01:37:58]  This is a different, like in Florida, I grew up playing golf, like very middle-class golf.
[01:38:02]  Got it, where there's more land, more golf courses, and then it's a little bit more exciting.
[01:38:05]  I have like middle-class friends that live on golf courses.
[01:38:09]  Yeah, that live very regular lives, and they're on like the 18th.
[01:38:12]  I want to play that course.
[01:38:14]  Oh, yeah.
[01:38:15]  That's what my brother does every week.
[01:38:17]  He plays in California.
[01:38:18]  You've played before?
[01:38:19]  Yeah, I have him horrible.
[01:38:20]  But I love the idea that there's like projects surrounding the golf course.
[01:38:26]  There was one course where it was just a Lynx course.
[01:38:28]  So it was just like nine holes or whatever.
[01:38:30]  And it was just in the hood.
[01:38:32]  And you would just get random people going to play.
[01:38:34]  That's fine.
[01:38:35]  And they wouldn't really take care of the greens.
[01:38:36]  It was just all overgrown and shit.
[01:38:38]  So a lot of the publicly owned courses in Liverpool are a bit shit.
[01:38:41]  And then there's like the middle ones.
[01:38:43]  The middle ones are normally the ones that I'll play.
[01:38:45]  And they're good.
[01:38:45]  But I've played like good courses a handful of times.
[01:38:48]  And like what these like professionals are playing on.
[01:38:51]  I seen a video the other week and it was uh it's like do you think you could win the US Open if you started on the green that's a great that's a great uh what's it called okay and the answer's no no do you know what he's asking right yeah but like the green is close to the hole right the green is the the patch with the shortest green so you couldn't win The green could be between the size of this room and four times the size of this room, depending on the hole.
[01:39:18]  And you start on every green.
[01:39:20]  That would be a great fucking matchup.
[01:39:22]  You get the best golfer in the world and then you get me.
[01:39:26]  You.
[01:39:26]  Well, you actually play golf.
[01:39:28]  But me and Al, guys who don't play golf.
[01:39:30]  And we start on the green and they start at the T and we play 18.
[01:39:35]  They beat you by between 30 and 50 shots.
[01:39:43]  It's a funny thing.
[01:39:45]  And I might be being really nice, bro.
[01:39:47]  But no, but we've played mini golf.
[01:39:48]  Exactly.
[01:39:50]  We're not good at that.
[01:39:51]  Yeah.
[01:39:53]  Until you can read a green.
[01:39:54]  So like the best course I've ever played on was about six months ago with a friend of mine called Thomas called The Shire.
[01:40:00]  It's about an hour outside of London.
[01:40:02]  And there's a practice green at the start of the course for you to just like practice putting before you see off.
[01:40:07]  And I dropped the golf ball from just the height and it just went its own way and then rolled off the green.
[01:40:17]  And if you tap it, it will go.
[01:40:20]  But these pro golfers can look at a green and see if they drop the ball here exactly where it's going to end up.
[01:40:26]  And that's what you're playing against.
[01:40:28]  And you'd just be looking at a green going like I'm here.
[01:40:29]  The hole's there.
[01:40:30]  I'll hit it that way.
[01:40:31]  What you actually need to do is hit it over there so that it does that.
[01:40:34]  And they know how to do that.
[01:40:36]  So you'd go that way and then you'd be, then you'd be off the green.
[01:40:40]  No, I'd figure that out.
[01:40:41]  Yeah, yeah.
[01:40:42]  I'd figure that out.
[01:40:42]  This doesn't work.
[01:40:43]  We got to set this up.
[01:40:45]  Tour greens would be even harder.
[01:40:46]  If you're playing against actual tour players, they're playing on greens that are faster than what you played.
[01:40:51]  Yeah, yeah.
[01:40:51]  It would, it's like, it's like, I was talking to one of these guys that a lot of guys that played tennis are now like kind of playing a paddle.
[01:41:00]  And there's this one guy, Willie Conyas was his name.
[01:41:02]  He beat Federer like three times.
[01:41:04]  He was like, I think number eight of the world at one point in time.
[01:41:06]  And he was saying like how the game of tennis changed.
[01:41:09]  I had no clue that they were changing the greens.
[01:41:11]  Like they were making it slower, making it faster.
[01:41:13]  And they're changing the game to make it more friendly for TV, essentially.
[01:41:19]  Changing the density of the ball.
[01:41:21]  They made it green.
[01:41:23]  They made the change the color, but they're also changing like the size of it.
[01:41:27]  Oh, really?
[01:41:27]  So I think what happened was there was a time, like, have you ever seen that thing, that picture of the grass tennis courts call it?
[01:41:36]  I guess just grass?
[01:41:37]  Lawn.
[01:41:37]  Yeah, lawn.
[01:41:38]  So the lawn tennis court.
[01:41:39]  And how they've changed over the years, like which patches are the most used up.
[01:41:44]  So back in the day when the game was at the net, you would see it all chopped up.

=== Lawn Tennis Court Wear (04:00) ===

[01:41:49]  And now the game is almost never at the net.
[01:41:50]  They're both behind the line and they're both ripping it.
[01:41:52]  And it's because they've changed the game to make it more exciting to extend the volleys.
[01:41:56]  When we were growing up, the guys, it would just be a hard serve because the greens were so fast.
[01:42:00]  And then maybe one or two shots point would end.
[01:42:02]  So they changed the game to make it more enjoyable for TV.
[01:42:07]  I don't think that this is a coincidence at all outside of the Williams sisters being like superstars.
[01:42:11]  The women's game picks up at the same time that the men's game is just serve and then done.
[01:42:17]  Oh, interesting.
[01:42:17]  Because the women don't have the power.
[01:42:19]  So the rallies are much longer and the game is more interesting.
[01:42:22]  Watching women are better than watching the men.
[01:42:24]  It's so much better.
[01:42:25]  And like the women technically get paid more.
[01:42:28]  Wait, what do you oh, because they play less.
[01:42:30]  Yeah, so the prize money for men's and women's women is the same, but men is best of seven sets and women is best of five.
[01:42:37]  So look at the greens.
[01:42:38]  That's all right.
[01:42:39]  Or it might be three.
[01:42:40]  Look how much of the area where you would volley has eroded.
[01:42:44]  And this is in 2024.
[01:42:46]  There's almost nothing.
[01:42:47]  Same exact course.
[01:42:49]  And everybody's just behind the line.
[01:42:51]  That's interesting.
[01:42:52]  They do this with a lot of sports.
[01:42:53]  Like baseball, they eliminated the shift.
[01:42:55]  You used to have like the Deadball era of basketball in the early 2000s when they had.
[01:42:59]  What was that?
[01:42:59]  That was when they allowed, they basically allowed defenses to be different with hand checking and things to stop shack.
[01:43:06]  Oh, yeah.
[01:43:06]  They had like the hacker shack rule that changed.
[01:43:08]  Like this happens to make the sport better.
[01:43:10]  Didn't the Hork Bats and stuff?
[01:43:11]  Like that was the whole thing?
[01:43:12]  Well, that was, you never, that was like, you're not supposed to do it.
[01:43:15]  But like.
[01:43:15]  Baseball's changed a lot to make it.
[01:43:17]  Well, you should.
[01:43:18]  Because then the guys end up making more money.
[01:43:19]  And, you know, that's the thing about these sports, like tennis is like, we know about the top, you know, 20 guys that are making all this money.
[01:43:25]  The other like 400, 500 are not making lots of money.
[01:43:28]  They're like pros at the local country clubs or whatever.
[01:43:30]  So you want the prize money to go up.
[01:43:33]  But you should manipulate the game.
[01:43:35]  I'd be kind of pissed, though, right?
[01:43:36]  Like if you get rated a game and then they change and you're like, what the fuck?
[01:43:39]  I asked him about that.
[01:43:40]  And he goes, because I think there was a moment where his skill set worked for what was happening.
[01:43:47]  And I think he could really, I think he was what's called like a pusher, where basically you could defend.
[01:43:51]  You just get to every single ball and you just exhaust them.
[01:43:54]  You just get to every single ball, you just exhaust it.
[01:43:56]  And then the game changed.
[01:43:56]  It might have moved outside of his skill set.
[01:43:58]  But he's like, yeah, you got to be able to adapt.
[01:44:00]  Like, that's the nature of this.
[01:44:01]  Yeah.
[01:44:01]  I mean, if you're going to be great at any sport, you can't be great at that shininess of the sport.
[01:44:05]  And then it's like, oh, well, you've sort of made it harder for me to use that.
[01:44:08]  It's like, well, then you ain't a tennis player.
[01:44:10]  You were that guy.
[01:44:12]  Like, you've got to be good at the whole, you've got to be able to get around the whole thing.
[01:44:15]  Yeah.
[01:44:15]  It's like with football, like the game changes every sort of like five to 15 years.
[01:44:22]  Like a new coach comes in and is like, they cry a little less.
[01:44:27]  Play like that.
[01:44:28]  We'll play like this.
[01:44:30]  At the minute, the game's very like possession-based for the top teams.
[01:44:32]  Like, we're going to keep the ball until you make a little mistake and the wrong player runs at us and then we'll find that gap.
[01:44:38]  But like that's about, I think that's about to change again.
[01:44:42]  Like pace is, pace is not quite as important now for the best teams because when there's a game of football and you've got like the full pitch and you know a team who's bad against a really good team will just line up right in front of their own goal.
[01:44:58]  So there's very little space in between the lines for them to find.
[01:45:00]  So like this team's fast players don't get to utilize their pace very much because it's like they neutralize the pace.
[01:45:07]  Where are we going to run from?
[01:45:08]  Crowd in the box, right?
[01:45:09]  So then the best teams want the best technically gifted players because they can find the spaces in between this rather than trying to run through it.
[01:45:15]  Yeah.
[01:45:17]  They got to stop that crying shit.
[01:45:20]  But when they get hurt.
[01:45:21]  Yeah.
[01:45:21]  When they get fake hurt.
[01:45:22]  Yeah.
[01:45:24]  I don't know how you curb that.
[01:45:26]  Like, do they do like they need to do more yellows for guys that don't actually like.
[01:45:29]  That's what they do in the NBA.
[01:45:31]  You get, you get a flagrant for flopping.
[01:45:32]  Yeah.
[01:45:33]  Yeah.
[01:45:33]  That's what they need to do.
[01:45:34]  You get booked for diving in football.
[01:45:36]  Yeah.
[01:45:36]  So rarely, though.
[01:45:38]  Yeah.
[01:45:38]  But because for it to be a dive, it has to be you weren't touched and you're faking.
[01:45:43]  But if they touch them at all, it's like, oh, maybe it did hurt them that much.

=== Robbie Williams Movie Flop (07:11) ===

[01:45:49]  Maybe he's just this guy.
[01:45:50]  Yeah, maybe you're a pussy.
[01:45:54]  I have a couple of questions.
[01:45:55]  Yeah.
[01:45:56]  I really like British comedians.
[01:45:57]  I'm like a big fan of British comedians.
[01:46:00]  Is there anyone new and like sort of upcoming that you're like, oh, you should check him out?
[01:46:04]  We spoke about Jamie last time we were here, the guy whose autistic brother beats him up.
[01:46:10]  Jamie Catford, yeah, yeah, Dr. Gafford.
[01:46:12]  So Jamie's like well on the rise.
[01:46:14]  And he's not got any stand-up available online.
[01:46:18]  All of his clips are podcasts.
[01:46:19]  And his idea with that is, you've got to see me live or you don't get to ever see what I do.
[01:46:23]  And he's very different on stage.
[01:46:26]  And he's very aggressive with the audience.
[01:46:28]  It's almost clowning in that like it's like there's substance to it.
[01:46:33]  It's not just clowning.
[01:46:34]  It's stand-up as well.
[01:46:35]  But like he'll get right in audiences' faces and he's, it's, you know, there's levels to it.
[01:46:40]  And he's like, I don't think that translates to video, so I'm not doing it.
[01:46:43]  And he's just sold a lot of tickets on a tour.
[01:46:46]  That's dangerous.
[01:46:47]  He's doing real well.
[01:46:48]  There's a I'm not in the clubs as much at the minute because I've been touring for a good few years and I've took a little break since I put the special out.
[01:46:58]  I'm starting again now.
[01:47:00]  So I can only really tell you about, do you know what?
[01:47:03]  Actually, there's a lot who's a friend of mine called Elliot Steele.
[01:47:06]  Okay.
[01:47:07]  And Elliot's good mates with a couple of US comics because he's really good mates with Daniel Sloss, who's got like a career out here as well and stuff.
[01:47:13]  Elliot, I met when he was 17 and I just thought he was fine.
[01:47:17]  I was like, ah, you're fine.
[01:47:18]  He's a good friend of mine, but I was like, he's fine.
[01:47:20]  He's not a great comic, but he's fine.
[01:47:22]  And then about 18 months ago, maybe a year ago, I was in London for some like work stuff.
[01:47:28]  And I was like, I'm going to just go to the comedy club and do some spots.
[01:47:33]  And I had to follow him.
[01:47:34]  And I watched him.
[01:47:35]  And I was like, oh, you've been working really hard.
[01:47:40]  And he's just an absolute.
[01:47:41]  And he's not just, he's not just killing at like easy stuff.
[01:47:44]  He's really, he's in like a really young, liberal London comedy club.
[01:47:49]  And he's really provoking them, but in a really brilliant way.
[01:47:53]  Yeah.
[01:47:53]  So that was really good for me to see that because it was a friend of mine who, to be honest, like I was like, oh, I just think he's okay when I met.
[01:47:59]  He was a fucking kid.
[01:48:00]  Do you know what I mean?
[01:48:00]  He was 17.
[01:48:01]  Yeah.
[01:48:02]  And he's now mid-20s and he's going to be very, very, very good.
[01:48:08]  Yeah.
[01:48:09]  I think those two, for me, they're the first two that have come to me head.
[01:48:13]  I'm actually, I'm curious, the amount of times you come to the US, like you're here multiple times a year, is there anything about America or Americans that still surprises you?
[01:48:20]  No, not surprises.
[01:48:22]  I mean, I feel like I've got a pretty good handle on it.
[01:48:24]  Like, I also feel like I see things coming and stuff.
[01:48:27]  And yeah, not particularly surprising.
[01:48:30]  No.
[01:48:31]  That's kind of nice.
[01:48:32]  Like now you're like, oh, you're fit in.
[01:48:33]  But even going to Texas, you're not like, whoa, this is novel.
[01:48:36]  No, but I feel like.
[01:48:38]  Okay, here's something that might maybe you can explain that is along the same thing.
[01:48:43]  Okay.
[01:48:44]  Robbie Williams.
[01:48:48]  Chrissy D was asking me about this.
[01:48:50]  Look, he's super famous.
[01:48:53]  That's a great point.
[01:48:53]  Who's Robbie Williams?
[01:48:55]  Okay.
[01:48:55]  So here's Robbie.
[01:48:57]  You haven't even heard any of this yet?
[01:48:59]  So Robbie Williams did an iconic episode of MTV Cribs.
[01:49:04]  He had a song where he was like taking off his skin and like his muscles.
[01:49:07]  Do you remember the music video for that?
[01:49:09]  And he's just like pop sensation from the UK that has on paper everything that you need to succeed in America.
[01:49:18]  And for whatever fucking reason, he just didn't cross over.
[01:49:23]  Yeah.
[01:49:24]  Because he's very, very, very British.
[01:49:27]  So there's a British.
[01:49:28]  I like British things.
[01:49:29]  We like Indris Elba.
[01:49:30]  We like James Bond.
[01:49:32]  We like Ricky Gervais.
[01:49:34]  We like Ricky Gervais.
[01:49:36]  I can't tell you why.
[01:49:37]  I don't know whether it's just, I can't get my finger on it, but like, I wouldn't expect Robbie Williams to be big here.
[01:49:42]  And I know that he isn't now because of this movie that's come out.
[01:49:45]  So what is the movie?
[01:49:47]  Okay, go.
[01:49:48]  Break down Robbie Williams, then we'll get to the movie.
[01:49:49]  He's a pop star.
[01:49:50]  He was in a boy band called Take That.
[01:49:53]  He was seen as like the entertainer, like the one a lot of women fancied because he was like the naughty boy of the group.
[01:49:59]  He wasn't the talented one of the group.
[01:50:01]  The talented one was the lead singer who wrote all the songs called Gary Barlow.
[01:50:05]  And then when Take That sort of, you know, had that boy band thing where one of them's going to go and do their own thing and they're going to break up and whatever, Robbie Williams became like the guy.
[01:50:15]  He was the solo star.
[01:50:16]  Sony gave him like 80 million for like three albums.
[01:50:19]  And that was like back in the 90s or the early noughties.
[01:50:22]  So it was a big fucking deal.
[01:50:24]  So like he was like the guy, big tours and very famous.
[01:50:28]  And like you could stop anybody on the streets of the UK and be like, do you know Robbie Williams is?
[01:50:32]  And they'd say, yeah, like he's that level of famous.
[01:50:35]  He hasn't like been massively in the public eye for a few years because he got 80 million for three albums.
[01:50:40]  So he's kind of had a sit down.
[01:50:44]  But there's a movie that's come out this year and it's called Better Man or something like that.
[01:50:52]  Yeah.
[01:50:53]  And it's his sort of life and career story.
[01:50:58]  But for no apparent reason, he is a monkey in it.
[01:51:04]  Nobody else is.
[01:51:07]  It's mine.
[01:51:09]  I don't want to ride.
[01:51:11]  So let's take it to the DJ.
[01:51:14]  Because you make him feel so.
[01:51:16]  So you know the song?
[01:51:17]  Of course.
[01:51:18]  I know Robbie Williams.
[01:51:19]  I've never heard that.
[01:51:20]  But this is no way.
[01:51:23]  Why?
[01:51:23]  Bro, the entire film is told from the perspective that he's a chimp.
[01:51:28]  And then is anybody acknowledging the fact that he's a chimp?
[01:51:31]  No.
[01:51:31]  It's never broads of puns.
[01:51:33]  No one else is a chimp.
[01:51:34]  This is either genius or fucking.
[01:51:37]  We're talking about it.
[01:51:38]  We're talking about it.
[01:51:39]  So the movie bombed here.
[01:51:41]  Oh, it came out already.
[01:51:42]  So Universal bought the rights in America.
[01:51:45]  And these numbers will not be accurate, but it's essentially like they paid $100 million for the rights and they got like $5 million back.
[01:51:53]  Oh, I thought it made like $200.
[01:51:55]  Like, I thought it was like, and I'm not even being facetious.
[01:51:58]  I thought it was like less than $1,000 opening week.
[01:52:02]  But it seems like that's part of the marketing.
[01:52:04]  But did it do well over there?
[01:52:06]  It's done fine.
[01:52:07]  I mean, cinema is not doing very well anyway.
[01:52:10]  Like the big movies that are being pushed.
[01:52:13]  I know a few people who've seen it and been like, it's what you think it is.
[01:52:17]  Is the movie good?
[01:52:18]  Like, is the story good?
[01:52:19]  I haven't fucking seen it.
[01:52:22]  It's Robbie Williams' life story and he's a fucking monkey in it.
[01:52:25]  The opening weekend was $18,000.
[01:52:28]  Holy shit.
[01:52:30]  Yeah, 0.9% of its total gross.
[01:52:34]  Yeah.
[01:52:36]  Yeah, that sucked.
[01:52:36]  It now pulled in 1.2 million, I think.
[01:52:39]  They took a risk.
[01:52:41]  You know, it's such a like...
[01:52:43]  Sometimes you take a risk, man.
[01:52:45]  You know what it is?
[01:52:45]  You know, like when I imagine you've had meetings like this where like you meet with TV people and now, because everything's like, no one's watching movies and stuff, Robbie Williams has gone in and gone, hey, I'm ready to tell my life story.
[01:52:57]  And they're like, yeah, Robbie, it's just not new.
[01:52:59]  It's not interesting.
[01:53:00]  He's like, what if I'm a monkey?

=== Touring America Next (03:33) ===

[01:53:01]  And they're like, fucking, we need something interesting.
[01:53:05]  Make me a fucking monkey then.
[01:53:06]  And the idea is like, oh, I'm less evolved than other people.
[01:53:08]  Like, I'm more primitive or something.
[01:53:10]  I think the idea of it is he's just like, you know, the whole old adage of like, oh, you're just like a dancing monkey.
[01:53:16]  Like, you're not like.
[01:53:19]  You're just like, you're not a person.
[01:53:21]  You're just a fucking go do the thing for us.
[01:53:23]  Yeah.
[01:53:24]  Yeah.
[01:53:24]  I think that's what it is.
[01:53:25]  And does he become a real boy at the end?
[01:53:27]  I don't think so.
[01:53:28]  I think he's just a monkey in the game.
[01:53:30]  He's kissed by Jimmy Seville.
[01:53:32]  A real boy.
[01:53:33]  It's beautiful, actually, at the end.
[01:53:37]  Fucking hell.
[01:53:38]  Wild movie, dude.
[01:53:39]  Fucking hell.
[01:53:40]  Okay, so when are you back in town, Adam?
[01:53:41]  I know you leave tomorrow.
[01:53:43]  I think I'll probably come back into town in like April or May and do some more spots and some spots or shows.
[01:53:49]  Have you toured here, actually?
[01:53:51]  I haven't toured here yet.
[01:53:52]  Do you have any interest in doing like traditional club weekends and like doing the American comic thing?
[01:53:59]  Probably not.
[01:54:01]  What I would like to do out here is I really like the relationship I have with the US right now, in that I've done the sort of guest spots and the trials of the clubs and when I'm coming out they'll you know, they'll throw me up and that's nice.
[01:54:14]  And then, because of people like you and other guys who've had me on the podcast and stuff, I'm slowly sort of like I did like Tommy Pope and Chris's podcast and there's comments on it going.
[01:54:23]  I've seen this guy.
[01:54:25]  Yeah, it was funny.
[01:54:26]  They're really good guys shout out both of them, man.
[01:54:28]  So I like that and eventually I'd like to tour out here, in that I can come out and do a few shows in a few cities.
[01:54:35]  But also I just really love, like I love being in the states generally.
[01:54:39]  I love Nashville, big country music guys.
[01:54:42]  I love New York.
[01:54:44]  I just love being here.
[01:54:45]  The best.
[01:54:46]  And like being here for like a week, jumping up and doing some spots, writing in the day, going like I've got my places now where I go for pizza and for a sandwich and for a bit of coffee.
[01:54:57]  Like I know what I like and where it is.
[01:54:59]  I feel like I've got a good, and there's so much more to this to say I obviously haven't seen.
[01:55:04]  But like I can come to New York and not even get maps out on my phone and know where I'm going and know when I'm going to be places and stuff.
[01:55:11]  Yeah.
[01:55:12]  And it's a grid system.
[01:55:14]  I really like it.
[01:55:17]  The British conversion is tough, though.
[01:55:18]  I guess the whole sex.
[01:55:21]  What's one street in pounds?
[01:55:25]  No, I think you should spend some more time here, man.
[01:55:27]  I think it'd be cool.
[01:55:29]  I also think it'd just be a fun experience to do like a random improv or funny bone.
[01:55:34]  Yeah.
[01:55:34]  You know, like just do a weekend of five shows, maybe while you're building an hour and just experience that here.
[01:55:39]  I would definitely like to do that at some point.
[01:55:41]  Yeah.
[01:55:42]  I like, I think.
[01:55:43]  It's like in the same way that like American comedians think about doing the Edinburgh Festival.
[01:55:47]  Yeah, no, this is like a very traditional British thing.
[01:55:50]  I like to take my show there.
[01:55:51]  But to me, when I think of like American comedy, I don't think of it in the big arenas or even theaters.
[01:55:55]  I think of it at like a fucking mall comedy club.
[01:55:58]  And you're doing five shows and you're at a shitty hotel.
[01:56:03]  Yeah.
[01:56:03]  And you're spending your days like looking for a diner to go eat.
[01:56:06]  And it's you're really selling this.
[01:56:10]  I don't know.
[01:56:11]  It creates some awesome shit.
[01:56:14]  You get to see real America too.
[01:56:16]  I truly believe that.
[01:56:17]  And I do want to see a lot more of the States.
[01:56:19]  I really, really do.
[01:56:20]  So yeah, maybe.
[01:56:22]  That might be sort of something I do in the next sort of few years.
[01:56:26]  Definitely.
[01:56:27]  That'll be fun.
[01:56:27]  Well, listen, we'll always be here.
[01:56:29]  We'll be supporting.
[01:56:29]  Thank you so much for coming on, man.
[01:56:32]  Sam Ram check out the new special and all the other specials.