Andrew Schulz announces his upcoming Beacon Theater special, interpreting BAM's cancellation as a sign to go bigger. He debates the Menendez brothers' Netflix series, discusses Vince McMahon's wrestling mirror of American power dynamics, and compares Trump's persona to McMahon's dominance. The conversation covers Kamala Harris's institutional approach versus Trump's authenticity, Elon Musk's $50k ad payment, Andrew Tate's legal issues, and concludes by highlighting how celebrity culture shapes public perception and political narratives. [Automatically generated summary]
Transcriber: nvidia/parakeet-tdt-0.6b-v2, sat-12l-sm, and large-v3-turbo
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Venue Canceled After Trump Episode00:14:56
Guys, special update.
If you were watching last week, you know that we were originally going to tape next month in Brooklyn at a theater called Bam.
We released the Trump episode.
Three hours after that episode comes out, that venue in Brooklyn canceled all my special taping shows.
Probably completely unrelated.
Anyway, I just want to say thank you, Bam.
Thank you so much because what I realized in that moment is we weren't going big enough.
We weren't being elegant enough.
We weren't reaching for the stars enough.
You have given us that opportunity.
We're going to be taping the special in New York City at the beacon Thanksgiving weekend.
I'm very excited.
Pre-sale is Thursday, 10 a.m.
The code is Andrew.
Get there early.
Get those tickets before the bots or the resellers get them.
I want you guys in there and I cannot wait.
Oh, also, we can finally mention where the special is going.
Let's go.
Flagrant, what's up?
Listen, my advice to all you out there, start saying shit is dead more off the root.
Companies are dead.
Obviously, the Yankees and the Dodgers are both dead.
So if there's any tickets that pop up to the World Series, we definitely would not want to go to that because it's dead.
Baseball sucks.
We've been saying baseball sucks on this podcast for seven straight years.
That's true.
So it only makes sense that we get first base tickets.
No, say things are, y'all keep saying things are dead.
I'm going to keep saying Jerry Jones is alive.
And I mean, let's just see.
Let's just see.
Let's just see.
Are you starting to see?
Jerry Jones is alive.
You know what I mean?
He's alive.
We're going to get to the special in a second, but I need to, just any other updates of that, but I need to understand, are you still being, are you being pulled back into?
No, no, no, no.
I'm actively rooting against them, and it's way more fun on this side.
You genuinely do not care.
I don't know.
I care.
Yeah.
But like, I'm like, also, fuck them.
It's like an ex that you just broke up with.
Fuck that bitch.
You think I said broke up with?
Yeah.
But an ex that you just broke up, fuck that.
I'd love seeing you.
I still want them to win.
A little bit, right?
I can see it.
They're also not good.
They're too good.
What ex are they, bro?
That's a good question.
Exes I've heard of.
Oh, I thought you had one in the tub.
Oh, oh, I do.
Really?
We cutting this?
It's not.
That's fine.
Oh!
Akash.
Brand Brand Baron.
Dominate your house.
That's what I'm talking about.
Dominate your house.
Brand Brand Baron.
Yeah, sure.
That's what happens.
You bring the dog around.
Yeah.
Bring something out and you.
The alpha.
The alpha comes out in Akash.
Yeah, 1,000%.
Yeah.
Akash already wilted right now.
I know.
I don't have any exes, babe.
It's just you.
Nah, she knows.
It's just one, and she's married.
And, you know.
Oh, you've been keeping tabs with her?
Yeah.
Yeah.
She got fat.
She got fat.
A little bit.
Yeah, yeah.
Really?
Yeah, yeah.
Damn, bro.
Yeah.
I think it got fatter, huh?
I remember you chasing that little tail feather around downtown the head.
This guy's a menace, bro.
This guy's a menace.
Akash in the hot seat for the bad.
It's because Bam's not here.
It's because the board of Bam is here.
I was already sweating pre-pot.
That's true.
That's true.
My bad.
My bad.
All right.
Happy's looking sad.
First of all, I just want to say shout out to everybody who's been very supportive about the whole venue chain situation.
A lot of DMs, asshole army showing up.
And, you know, some people went a little while ago.
Too supportive.
Yeah.
Turns out you can be too supportive.
There's a little J6 situation.
They tried to storm Bam.
Stand back and stand by.
Mark sent me pictures of people outside the protesting.
Yeah.
And then some of the fuck off.
The reviews on Bam.
There's been some, that's actually been mixed, I'll be honest.
Like, some of them are like, there's like some, I don't even understand how people use the internet anymore.
Like, is there some people like, this venue sucks.
And, like, they made up a fake thing where they're like, the AC is terrible and the bathrooms are gross.
Yeah.
And then there's other people being like, thanks for canceling Andrew Schultz.
Love this venue.
And there's just discourse happening in the Yelp reviews of the venue.
I love it.
So maybe don't do that.
Anyway, thank you guys for your support, man.
And thank you for making a sign.
If you made the sign to stand out in front of BAM, that is like...
That's commitment.
Yeah, the arts and crafts.
Do you know what I mean?
Like, you had to get a marker and like sparkles and shit.
I don't even know where to get poster board.
That's what they don't tell you about protesting.
Is there's a lot of crafting.
There's crafting.
It's very DIY.
Yeah, you hang out with the boys.
Can I borrow the red?
Yeah.
I am a man.
And then you go kill some people at the Capitol.
Nobody died except Lauren Babbage.
That's my favorite thing that Trump says when they were January 6th growing up.
Nobody died except Lauren Baddish.
Trump's basically going, she was a nobody.
Anyway, thank you.
Obviously, the Netflix thing is exciting.
Yeah, it's awesome.
I actually, I love the beacon.
That's like true.
That's really cool, man.
It's my favorite theater in New York for sure.
Yeah, it's one of the best for stand-up.
Yeah.
And of all the theaters I've done, I put that in the Wilburs one and two.
Wilbur in Boston is incredible.
That might be my number one, but this beacon is for the size, too.
I loved it.
When I performed it, I opened for Russell and I was like, this is awesome.
Yeah.
What I heard is White People's Apollo.
Is that true?
I mean, the rest of the theaters in New York are white people's Apollo.
Yeah.
I would say you guys have one theater.
But like, you know, maybe Jews Apollo.
Like Jerry Seinfeld has done like 100 shows there.
Like the days that we were going to do the shows, Bob Dylan had booked.
Wow.
And then Bob Dylan pulled out or something.
I think there were some.
What did your mom say?
Like the devil thing?
He has a deal with the devil.
He's in hell and then he's going to come back.
You've seen that video.
You've seen the video.
You haven't?
You know what's because you're saying this is a joke, but you just stumbled into a huge wormhole you don't even know about.
What?
This is a deal with the devil.
He's such a nice guy.
Oh, that's great.
That's all you got to do.
He's a liberal.
All you got to do is say anything.
You know how people are like, say anything and then the Jews.
If you do anything and then the devil, my mom has a conspiracy that is brilliantly braided together.
Yes, 100%.
You haven't seen this already?
But the more liberal they are, the more devil they are.
Got it.
I cannot believe I have to put you guys on game with us, bro.
This is so annoying.
You guys got to wake the fuck up.
Is that Bob Dylan?
You know, I have no idea what Bob Dylan looks like.
Why do you still do it?
Why are you still doing it?
It's black.
Well, it goes back to the destiny thing.
You know, I mean, I took a bargain with it.
You know, long time ago, and I'm holding up my hand.
What was your bargain?
To get where I am now.
Should I ask who you made the bargain with?
You know, with the chief commander.
Oh, this earth.
And this earth, and then in a world we can't see.
Come on, God.
Why can't that be God?
Yeah, why can't that be God?
Why don't you have God in your life and you thought that was the devil, right?
Because Lucifer says the greatest musician.
What's that say about you?
That he says the chief commander and you say the devil.
No, because Lucifer, Lucifer rules on this earth ever since the fall of man, bro.
Come on, dude.
Lucifer is the greatest musician.
He is.
He's the angel of that Lucy.
Back then, we like gangster rap.
Like, we like hood shit.
We like people doing sinful activities for music.
Is there any actually?
No, no.
Christian music kind of bops.
It does.
Have you been to a Hill Songs?
Yeah, actually.
Similar.
Yeah, similar.
They go hard.
Oh, God.
A thousand times.
Why is the devil related to music?
I mean, this is anything that makes you feel good, Christians, freak out of it.
Exactly.
Yeah.
But then in the church, I'll be going, ooh.
Yeah, exactly.
So that's devil hymns?
No, that's the instrument that God gets.
But you notice how that shit sucks.
Ah, so it has to suck for it to not be devilish.
They think Hillsong is devilish then?
Yeah, I mean, probably not straight up devilish, but if there's too many instruments, then my mom is like, whoa, why is there a drum?
The Catholic Church is an instrument in and of itself, a lot of times exactly.
The building, the organ.
Yeah.
So is that devilish?
Nope.
Instrument.
The one is allowed.
Yeah.
And then your voice, the one instrument God gave you.
I'm pretty sure the Orthodox Church doesn't do any instruments except your voice.
Really?
Because that's the only instrument that's ordained by God.
Regardless, Bob Dylan is a Satanist.
Okay.
He's a Satanist.
And he was going to have the venue, but then he had to go down to hell for a weekend.
So then you got it.
Yo, shout out to Bob for that, man.
You were wrong about the hurricane.
That motherfucker did it, but no, we did.
I got that on good authority.
I told you.
I told you, Larry Schultz spoke to the boy.
Hurricane Carter was.
There's a movie.
Denzel played him.
This is the story of the hurricane.
The man, the authorities came to blame.
This is how you feel.
I have no idea.
Do you know?
I had no idea what the fuck is that.
He wrote a whole song about how you guys didn't do it.
Do you know?
You've seen the hurricane with Denzel?
You just really haven't seen any black movies, huh?
I mean, take your shirt off.
Take your fucking shirt off.
How do you not know the story of Hurricane Carter?
Did this come out before I was born?
Like, when no, late 90s.
Denzel, arguably his best performance.
Fantastic.
Oh, phenomenal.
Fantastic.
His best performance.
He was a heavyweight champion of the world, Ruben Carter, went to jail for murder.
This movie leads you to believe it did not happen.
The case was overturned.
He was freed.
And then Andrew apparently heard that he did kill the guy.
Not heard.
Asked his lawyer who got him off.
And this lawyer even interviewed him.
His lawyer said, Off the record, he did that shit.
That's what's up.
Yo, speaking of which, are the Menendez brothers good guys?
Yo, what is a Menendez brother?
Because I know it's a show on Netflix.
It's a young cube and that guy were kids, and none of us gave a fuck.
We didn't know.
That's the Eleon.
No.
That's funny.
I know this one.
What about the brothers?
There were brothers who killed their parents in like Beverly Hills or something.
They went to my high school.
What?
Yeah, it was the biggest story in LA for but not during the time you were there.
No, no, no.
He's not that old.
So Menendez brothers, early 90s, killed their parents, go to jail.
They're like seen as like these awful people in the news, framed them as just like fucking psychopaths.
How could you kill your parents?
And I remember being surprised at this story?
Killed both of the parents?
Yeah.
And I remember being surprised at that story because I was like, Menendez, Beverly Hills?
How does that happen?
Yeah.
And turns out these kids were getting brutally sexually assaulted by their dad.
Mom knew it was happening, didn't do anything about it.
So as they grew up, they really were fucking angry and hateful and violent about that.
Sexually assaulted.
What does that mean?
Like, I think like fucked.
They were having the fathers have sex with their boys.
Don't laugh.
Why are you laughing?
I think it's a first of all.
No, whoa.
And what was the mom?
She was just turning the other turning a blind eye to it.
She said something to them one time, apparently, like, I know what's going on or something like that, but just didn't do anything about it.
Yeah.
And like, the aunts knew what was going on.
And they've been in jail for this.
Yeah.
Yep.
For murdering a pedophile?
Yeah.
For decades.
Decades.
Kimberly.
Publicly went on their Instagram and said it's time for them to be let out.
Kim.
Not even let out.
Like, super jumpy as they should get out.
Super million.
I mean, you should.
There's no proof that they were getting diddle.
Oh, they could just be saying, yeah, take it out.
They just came.
That came out once they were on trial and they're fighting for their life.
And then there's some tangential proof.
Like they told a psychologist, they told a cousin.
Like, they told some other people that then testified.
And this is pre-murdered psychologists or psychiatrists?
Yeah.
But I'm on episode two.
This shows.
It was after the murder.
Well, according to the Netflix show.
They had a cousin that they told when they were like eight or nine years old.
Oh.
And the cousin told the mom.
The mom was like, nah, that's not true.
He's not sure.
And then that came out.
So then the first jury was a hung jury, and then they retried them and then they got convicted because it was in the wake of OJ.
And they were like, oh, they didn't get the conviction on OJ.
I think hungry is a term used in poor taste when you're talking about sexual assault.
Yeah, you're really poor.
My boy, you're so poor.
Don't call me poor.
You are.
That's what they call it.
Wait, so these guys are in jail.
Two white passing Latinos are in jail for decades for killing a pedophile.
Their pedophile enabler.
Yeah.
Wow.
They could have went to authorities, but instead premeditated murder.
How did they go to authorities?
They also could have just driven away.
They were like 20 years old.
Yeah, like they were in college.
I mean, so what was the distance between the last assault?
I think it stopped when they were like 15 or 16.
Don't.
That's what I'm saying.
I'm like, don't do that.
Come on.
Don't do that.
No, we'll let them do it.
No, no, no, go.
No, we're going to lose the beacon.
We're going to lose the beacon.
No, the beacon is beautiful.
The beacon is a beautiful man.
Don't do it.
Don't do it.
What do you feel, Andrew?
Are they identical twins?
No.
No.
Okay.
I would say identical.
You just really need to hit one.
One is very handsome.
Yeah.
See, like one of them.
One is way more handsome.
Damn, look at you and the dad got a similar taste.
Guys, I already told you this up top, but the life tour at Netflix special taping in New York City at the Beacon Theater goes on pre-sale Thursday, okay?
Thursday at 10 a.m.
Pre-sale code is Andrew.
Then the regular on-sale is Friday.
So get in the pre-sale early.
We don't want the bots to go buy things up.
I want real people.
I want real supporters.
I want real fans out there for this real New York City experience.
Yeah, go grab those immediately.
That's Thursday.
Thank you so much.
Now, this weekend, I'm going to be in Salt Lake City.
We added a second show.
Reno, we also had a second show.
San Jose, California, we also had a second show.
And Portland and then Honolulu, Hawaii, we are closing out the life tour there, December 21st.
Anyway, thank you guys so much.
DavidSchultz.com for tickets.
Appreciate y'all.
Peace.
Hey, guys.
Miles said that I should use happiness is cuteness to say, don't you want to feed this dog?
I'm going to be honest.
We sold more tickets this past weekend at Stress Factory than any comedy club in the history in New Jersey has ever sold in the history in one weekend.
So shouts to y'all.
They said we could add seven or eight more shows.
We might do that soon.
But here's the point.
I got this cute ass dog.
And if I'm going to leave him to go do shows, you got to make it worth it.
Come through.
Richmond, Virginia, funny bone.
I'm going to be there this weekend.
Next weekend, Lexington, Kentucky, November 1st and 2nd.
After that, 22nd and 23rd, I'm in Rochester, December 4th.
I'm going to do a one-night show, Levittown, Long Island, at Governors.
So hurry up and come through that.
Hey, again, I didn't think you guys would like me before.
Now that it had Donald J. Trump on the podcast, the 45th and maybe 47th president, I assume you'll be lining up, fucking stampeding to come see one of the good ones.
Also, December 6th and 7th, Albany.
Get your tickets there at akashang.com.
Also, fan basis.
We're doing our thing.
Come through.
Check us out there.
Love you, buddy.
Statute of Limitations for Murder00:03:11
So you think they just fabricated the whole molestation shit?
Because they're two crazy little fucks that killed their parents.
I think so.
Because right after they kill their parents, they get the money.
They start spending it like crazy.
Oh, yeah, they do more spending spirit.
Yeah, they bought it.
What's that got to do with it?
You can't spend a little money for getting ditto your whole life.
Yeah.
You got to diddle for 15 years.
You got to buy it for mourning.
You got to mourn at least.
You got to fake mourn.
No.
Like if you just burst your face.
His dad fucked me and his mom did nothing about it.
You got to celebrate.
Yeah.
Now you might got to go Richie Rich.
Then they did.
They got Rolexes.
They bought a Porsche.
They got like floor seats.
Barely this light work.
Don't you deserve more?
Like if you've been molested brutally, as you said, your entire life until the age of 16 and when it just completely stopped.
Why is that funny, Al?
Al, why is that funny?
Because I don't believe it.
That's why I collapse.
So you think that they're, because here's the thing.
This is actually really important for this discussion on the podcast about the venue change.
This is very, very important.
If they were molested in an aggravated fashion, as you were saying, come on, Mark.
Why can I not use a verb?
No, an adjective.
Yeah, why can I use an adjective to describe the molestation?
If they were molested, right?
Yeah.
At an astronomical rate for the time.
If they were.
For the time.
For the time.
Was that a blade?
There was no blue tumor.
And there was nothing, right?
Like, this is like, this is, you're just going, you know, no steroids, nothing.
Like, okay.
Okay.
Regular appetite.
If, right?
If this is horrible, we cannot joke around about.
No.
But that's.
If they were two absolutely psychopathic murderers that murdered their innocent parents and on top of that are then trying to destroy their legacy by calling them pedophiles and pedophile enablers, then these jokes are a lot of fun.
There you go.
So we're in a very difficult situation right now.
Conundrum.
How do you get out of it?
Well, the courts are saying that the jokes are fine.
Because the courts convicted them of murder and no pedophilia.
Yep.
Is there a way to test the rings on their butthole?
Okay.
That like a tree.
Yeah.
Like if you cut a tree in half, you know how many years.
Yeah.
But is there a way to test the wrinkles?
Yeah.
How many violent assaults?
If they have, if they're more wrinkled out for their age, is it possible?
That's a great question.
Is there a statute of limitations for that shit?
Or that's for sexual assault?
Yeah.
Or statue.
What did you say?
Statute of limitations.
Yeah, there's there's there used to be, I don't think there is now for murder.
Here's my honesty, statistically, two brothers, both murderous psychopaths with nothing happening to them seems a little crazy.
The fact that they raise kids that are willing to kill them proves to me that they're bad parents.
Yo, that's a good point, too.
Like now, okay, we've all heard of one psycho kid.
Two brothers psycho kill the parents.
If they're that psychopathic, something is off with the parents.
One didn't really want to do it.
It was the other brother that kind of like nudged him.
Psychopathic Brothers and Jokes00:14:26
Hey, it's not fucking smoking a cigarette, man.
It's killing your parents.
Both of them with a shotgun.
Yeah, but then the first, the older brother who was getting diddled, started to like diddled the younger brother.
What?
According to Netflix, like they were like a little flirty with each other.
That's what Netflix implies.
Well, it's Ryan Murphy who did the show.
So there's always celebrities.
Is he hyperbolic?
Is that what you're saying?
No.
Look at them.
I was Googling like, is this real?
Is that real?
They're kissing each other.
I know.
Don't know something crazy.
I think it was a love triangle.
Mark Jackson basketball cart Nick's who's in the shot?
The Menendez brothers on the floor.
Wow.
Wow.
That's crazy.
So that card has been going up, up, up since this show.
Yeah.
You think after they killed their parents, they were running out of the house like that.
Wrong guy.
No, LJ did this, and then Mark Jackson started doing this.
Oh, God.
He's very religious.
He started doing the cross.
Oh, wow.
Remember when Mark Jackson said that he would knock the bottom out of LeBron's wife or something like that?
What?
Do you know something crazy?
It's one of the craziest things I've ever seen.
You think you're like, it must be Savannah.
He mustn't miss smoking.
He goes, with all due respect, I would drop the bottom out of that.
He says something absolutely insane.
I have marked this before you put that in.
Mark Jackson, he's not broadcasting no more because they can't trust him.
This is a religious man.
Wow.
He's a pastor.
Watch him.
Here it is.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I'm shocked you downplayed Savannah.
He said she was all city.
James again from downtown.
And I'd hit out the park.
No question.
With all due respect.
He did.
Listen, by the rules of this show.
You hit him with all due respect.
By the rules of this show.
Holy shit.
Yeah.
That's crazy.
Hit her out the park.
What do you got to do, girl?
Hit her out the park.
That's LeBron's kid's mother.
She sits there front row.
She teams with a dunk.
He just scored.
He's not even paying attention to that.
He's looking at Savannah.
He'd hit her out the park, Al.
With all due respect.
With all due respect.
How do you hit someone's wife and the mother of their kids out the park respectfully?
How do you do that respectfully?
What position?
I didn't even know the position, Mark Jackson.
With all due respect to LeBron James.
Yeah, take a deep breath there, Akash.
I still got diarrhea.
I don't know what's going on with me.
Yeah, why are you so sweaty?
I don't know what's going on.
It is hitting the last half hour.
What the hell?
Hey, y'all are all going to get sick, probably.
It's all good.
No, come on.
Come on, dude.
What?
You're special.
We have children.
Yeah.
You already got me sick once.
You don't even spend any time with your kids.
What are you talking about?
Yeah, exactly.
Because I'm sick.
Come on.
That shit hurt when you said that shit right there.
That shit hurt.
Nah, I spend so much time later.
We're talking about you.
Oh, sick.
Fuck that guy.
You're a good dad.
Yo, he's got Miss Shifty's birthday, yo.
Yeah.
Just got Miss Shifty's birthday.
He did not spend time with his kids.
Where was he?
He's doing shows.
I had to go be with my dead kid.
That's crazy.
Ain't that crazy?
Yo, sing him happy birthday right now, son.
By yourself.
Shifty?
Sing Shifty, happy birthday.
It's not his birthday.
When's his birthday?
Yo, this dumb motherfucker, it was a surprise party.
And you know, when the person's coming in for the surprise, you go, surprise.
The motherfucker starts singing happy birthday.
And then a whole fucking table, for some reason, just starts singing happy birthday.
And now we had to sing that shit like two, three times because of your dumb ass.
That happened before.
I didn't know what to do in that moment.
But I didn't want there to not be noise when he walked in.
Yes, you go, surprise.
I forgot.
You were surprised.
I was just so mad that the rest of the table started singing.
Yeah, I did.
I did rally and crowded out.
But it was like a slow cut.
Gotta be honest with you, the hardest part of that whole evening was stopping to edit with Shifty around six so he could get to his own surprise birthday party.
Because we were editing up to around six, and I'm like, yo, we could get this clip out if I push it, but we're going to miss about an hour this time.
I killed away at six, didn't I, Shifty?
Okay.
If he doesn't show up, what a good surprise.
You know what I mean?
And I'm just sitting there like, oh, I wonder what he's doing.
Probably hard worker.
Probably got important things to do.
Shows going on sale.
No big deal.
Anyway, did you feel any guilt about missing Shift?
Because I told everyone you missed it because of your child, which is a reasonable excuse.
He also got drunk last week and just left his kid.
Just went and hung out with his brother, got super drunk.
Son, when are you going to learn, bro?
When are you going to fucking learn?
You don't learn nothing, bro.
You can't get drunk.
What?
You have to go play paddle.
Like, I know you did.
I think I played paddle the day the baby got back.
There you go.
Because my wife was like, you know, right now it's going to sleep for like 12 hours at a time.
I'll clock that sentence and say a word.
You don't say.
So they sleep hella long.
But going to party, that your wife is going to kill you for that one.
I know she was upset because I heard about it from my wife.
There you go.
Oh, I love this little train.
I know Mark fucking up before Mark tells me.
My wife tells me immediately.
And I love it when Mark fuck up because I gang up on his ass.
So I look like the good husband.
You got to do that.
I gang up on him.
I make sure.
Like when you were in a dinner, I made sure to talk to my wife.
How about that shit?
You're supposed to have my bag.
I'm not sure of it.
Oh, go.
He's probably at church.
That's what I'm supposed to say.
No, I say this.
I say, babe, it was amazing that you came to dinner despite having to feed shy and just making sure Shifty really fell.
I go, did you notice who wasn't there?
I get all the points.
I'm getting all the points.
Also, ah, man.
Do you feel this way yet about being a dad?
Yes.
We ain't shit.
I literally feel like you don't feel that yet, to be honest.
No, Let me get it out of here.
I was pre-baby, too.
But he was you saying shit.
Okay, okay.
But, like, okay, we've had this discussion about just being men in general.
Like, I feel like if I don't cheat and I pay for things, everything else you need to be grateful for.
Gravy.
Yeah.
It's like, I am the greatest man that's ever existed.
Yes.
If I don't cheat and I pay for things, I'm allowed to do it.
If you pay for things, I is that you say it's an old guy's a cheat.
That's what it is.
When he said it, so matter of factly, I was like, wait, we all did that.
I didn't know what he told me about that.
Where is that?
No one died except Anna.
So you had this bitch.
I still tell these people, it's from like 10 years ago.
It's 12, 15 years ago.
I remember you're all.
I like how you added years.
Make sure Emma nowhere else.
Yeah, yeah.
17 to 30 years ago.
Yeah, legit.
Yeah, about 12 years ago, probably.
Because I remember I lived with you at the time and we're at a show together and you were in a relationship and you're like, hey, I know I'm not supposed to feel like this, but you ever like, fellas, you ever, your girl be like, hey, can you check out the trash?
And you don't say it, but in your head, you're like, bitch, do you know how tired I am from not cheating on you all day?
All day?
All day.
I'm fucking exhausted.
You carry out the trash while I've been carrying around all this not pussy on my dick.
Like, that is, that is it.
That is, I think, how we feel.
But I think that's based on what we know about you.
I could have to tell you we're fighting.
Because sometimes you get all that.
Oh, yeah.
You never did it again.
I was like, that's something.
You know what's crazy about those sets?
Is I'll get off stage.
I'll be like, man, I murdered that shit.
I'll go listen to the set and I'll be like, I got some things I need to work because I bombed this set, but it felt good to get off my chest.
Anyways, when you have a kid, I woke up last night when I got back from show two nights ago, got back from shows, baby cried.
I got you.
You've been taking care of this baby all weekend.
I got you.
I'm putting her back to sleep.
The next night, baby cries again.
Okay.
My wife nudges me and she hits me with the, hey, you were so good at getting a baby to sleep last night.
She can't be too good.
He's too good.
Son, she's gonna punish me for being nice.
So she goes, she goes, you think you should try to get him to sleep again?
And I was like, oh my God, her to sleep again.
I was like, oh my God.
I go put her down.
She wakes up a little bit later.
I put her down again.
But that is the exact concern I had.
If I'm too good at putting her down, I'm going to have to do it all the time.
It's called strategic incompetence.
My dad was perfect in it.
And I thought that he had dementia.
I thought it was dementia this whole time.
It's not.
You still think he has that?
I think he's been making this up.
I'm waiting for one day.
He just looks at me and be like, God damn it.
What'd you just do?
What was that?
What was that?
I don't know what I did.
Okay, so there, this.
Yeah, you empty the dishwasher and you put everything in the wrong place.
The dishes go in the shower.
And then she goes, you can't put dishes in the shower.
You go, oops.
Because I told me about this shit years ago.
And I was like, let me just do it.
And you go, I can do it.
She goes, no, no, no, you can't do it.
You go, what do you mean?
And then she does it.
Oh, it's brilliant.
Yeah.
Sometimes these old dudes got it worked out.
That's what I'm saying, bro.
Can I add?
Okay, so real quick within this decision.
Real quick, real quick, because I need some advice about this one.
The next day, I did three wake-ups in a row.
So I haven't stopped calculating that.
Okay.
That's five wake-ups.
Six wake-ups at this point.
That's wait, wait, go on.
One, then two, then three in a row.
That's six.
Oh, no, no, no.
I just got to go.
I just did three days.
That was good boy.
I thought I was going to bring that six with that one.
Bring that up.
He was trying to do some girl math.
And then two.
And then three.
That's one.
Okay.
All right.
So I'm trying to like, you know, broach the subject in the least toxic way possible, which is clearly just gaslighting her into thinking that she fucked up.
Nice.
Okay.
So when she woke me up to put the baby to sleep the second night, I said, she's like, can you do it?
I said, fine.
Okay.
I did say fine.
Okay.
So the next day, I said, hey, by the way, you know, when I said fine yesterday, did that make you feel, you know, away or anything like that?
And I'm looking for her to be like, no, I was just so grateful that you put the baby down three times in a row.
What the fuck are you thinking about?
But instead, she hit me with, she hit me with, I forgive you.
You were probably tired.
I said, we are fighting this morning.
Let's get ready to rock.
I could have just took that.
I know.
I apologize.
This afternoon.
Okay.
I realized the wrongs in my ways.
It's afternoon now.
If he did a set of lantern, though.
Yeah.
Yes.
Okay.
If you were able to go with the village lantern, though, and get it off your chest and bomb for eight minutes, then think about how good everything was going.
I should know because you're texting us.
Sorry, boys.
I'm on my way now.
And I still was like, it don't take that long to walk over here.
It's been like 20 minutes since I've been.
We had to have a nice recovery.
You know, I had to take some accountability.
You know, it was good.
We had a good session.
That shit is a worse.
Having to take accountability.
I hate that shit.
Because he came in kind of calm and stuff.
If he didn't get it out before.
Oh, yeah.
It would have been a dumb thing.
Gonna get out on somebody.
Okay.
I forgive you.
He'd be like, yo, Netflix, I forgive you.
Bam, I forgive you.
Bam, it's fine.
It's fine, man.
You had to do what you had to do, baby.
You had to do what you had to do.
But the kids sleep so much now that I feel there's nothing to do.
I take him for walks.
That's my thing.
Yeah, you got to get out of the house.
And I take pride in putting him to sleep.
Because anytime he starts crying, she's like, she's just crying.
I don't know what's going on.
I go, I got this.
Give me this shit.
I strapped him to my chest.
I go for a walk.
The second we go outside, he falls asleep.
I think it's the fumes from the cars.
And it just knocks him out.
And then we walk around for two hours.
I go on the phone and I just talk to people, go on Reddit, fucking Instagram, scroll around, and I come home.
Yeah, it's fire.
And it's great.
And then she's like, wow, you're a great excuse to ignore your wife.
Yeah.
That's my point.
You got to get out the house, bro.
You got to get out of the house.
And I tell her, I said, hey, right now, I feel like you're in a spot where it's waking him up.
He can smell you.
You know what I mean?
So you got to let me go.
No, you fucked up.
Let me go to the restroom.
Let me go out with my friends with the kid.
They love to do that.
They love to act like, they love to act like they can't get them down because the baby smells the milk.
Maybe you're not as nice as me.
Did you think about that?
Exactly.
Hey, hey, did you think about that one?
Maybe Lil Baby crawls in daddy's arms and it's night night because I'm nice with it.
No, he was really good yesterday.
He's doing a little shit over you.
Anything.
All your shoulders.
She just giggling, laughing.
Yeah.
She was looking up like a great side eye and you're about to get my kid's head chopped off by a ceiling fan because I stood at front with the baby on my shoulders.
Listen, I do think it's important that we have this Yankees Dodgers World Series.
I do think it's important that we discuss.
First of all, New York wins no matter what.
The Dodgers are from New York.
It was Brooklyn Dodgers.
That's true.
So New York wins no matter what.
Let's just call it what it is.
But obviously we're going for the Yankees, not those sellouts that left, those pussies.
Okay.
Those turncoats that ran over to the West Coast when shit got rough.
They should have just ran down to Miami.
You know what I mean?
That's what real New Yorkers do.
Back in five months, and then you come back in five months with a nice tan ready to get after him.
Okay, Yankees obviously taking this.
I understand they got Godzilla.
What's the guy's name?
The guy on the team?
Shohei.
Sho Hano.
I understand they got Shohei Outani.
I don't know why.
I thought it was different.
He's just a Japanese guy.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So here's a baseball.
I think Dove Yao Ming on the team, too, right?
Yeah, they do.
Yeah, Ming.
They do.
Fire.
They also have Aaron Judge.
That's y'all.
That's the Yankees.
Yeah, I'm talking about the Yankees.
Yeah.
Aaron Judge is not black.
What?
He's half, right?
I don't think so.
Yeah, he's half black.
I thought he was Obama.
Shohei Ohtani on the Yankees00:04:43
I thought he was too.
And then I saw his mom as white.
And then I thought I saw the dad.
That's usually how that goes.
No, then I thought I saw the dad as well.
And then the dad look white.
Is he?
Maybe that's the dad that stepped up.
We got to look.
Oh, shit.
That's a shitty situation.
Well, he was adopted.
He just stepped up.
No, oh, he was adopted by.
That's awesome.
Dude, what a fucking speaking of home runs.
Imagine you adopt this kid and he turns into a pro athlete.
Yeah.
Wow.
I mean, that's the white dad.
That's the blind side, but like the real version, the pure version.
You were doing it so he would join an SEC football team.
You were doing it because you actually really loved that kid.
Oh, that's crazy.
He's so according to this.
He's biracial, but he was not told that he was adopted until he was 11 years old.
Wow.
He just happened to be not that.
He just happened to be 6'5 and black.
Why do I feel like I look like my Clifford the big red dog?
It's like, yeah, you're a little different, Aaron.
You have him to be 6'5 and black.
Shout out, Aaron Judge.
That's fire.
And the Yankees.
Yankees be taking this shit.
And so in how many games?
Dove doesn't want it, but in how many games?
I think we might sweep.
I think it's a sweet, bro.
Yeah, I think it's sweet.
I think it's sweet.
I think six is a safe guess.
You think the Doyers are going to get some of that?
Have you seen Shohei this season?
Huh?
Have you seen Shohei this season?
Oh, yeah, I've seen him this season.
Oh, 50-50 is crazy.
You can only pitch one.
So apparently, 30-30 is impressive.
40-40 is unheard of.
He had 50-50.
50 hormones, 50 stolen bases.
40-40 was like historic.
And then you've seen him destroy Tokyo.
That I think is way more impressive than getting 50 home runs.
I saw that man trample on a building.
That's why they call him the Dodgers because Al tried to punch him on the subway.
And they had to flee to LA.
Isn't that crazy?
I was fucked up that you did that.
It made the whole team go, oh, yeah.
For the Yankees, bro, I bring back AJ Hayes.
We do have to bring it back for this series.
We do have to unfortunately bring it back to the series.
We apologize in advance.
We're going to say some racist actions.
But it's just until we sweep it.
It's only until we win.
When then it's like, oh, I respect it.
It's so crazy, though.
It's been too much.
I mean, I'm getting ready.
He called the bullpen an internment camp.
You can't call it that.
Oh, that is so racist.
That's crazy.
That's all the air.
Yeah, that is really racist.
Damn.
Anyway, hopefully, we'll think of some more jokes.
But the point that I'm trying to make is: right now, Steak is the leader in global betting in U.S. social casinos.
You could bet on top sports and political events and use the promo code Flagrant for your welcome bonus.
So just know that when you're betting on the World Series, obviously for the Yankees, not for the ops, not for the bad guys.
Okay.
When you're betting for the Yankees, you know that the Yankees have no immigrants on our team.
That's true.
Hold on.
Let me say that.
Let me say that again.
Did you know the Yankees have no immigrants on our team?
Yeah.
And you know where Trump just was in the barbershop in the Bronx.
Where do the Yankees play?
The Bronx.
Exactly.
Baby.
Exactly.
We might lose now.
Fuck.
Oswaldo Cabrera.
American-born.
Yeah.
Okay.
Juan Soto.
I don't know.
American born.
Juan Soto.
All these guys are naturalized Americans.
Once you can throw at least 90 miles per hour with location, you become American.
Everybody knows that about this country.
We are incredibly accepting country.
Bring us your hungry.
Bring us your weak.
Bring us your left-handers and throw fast.
This is in the bylaws.
This is in the bylaws.
So stake is the place where you're going to go put your money on the Yankees, the greatest baseball team in history.
Or you could put it on the doggy's if you want.
Yeah.
And lose dozens of dollars.
Hell yeah.
If you want to.
If you wanted to do that, you technically can over at stake, but you don't have to.
You know?
Just think about a certain harbor.
Bro.
Feels racial.
What?
Feels racial.
I'm talking about the Boston Tea Party when we threw the fucking fucking stepped up.
The Yankees stepped up.
And dumped the tea.
And who loves tea more than Japanese people?
Thank you, Mark.
Come on, guys.
Why do you always jump to the worst, most racist part instead of the most historically accurate one?
Yeah, exactly.
It's fucked up.
Japanese will do this dumping tea.
They're like, no, don't do it.
What?
I thought I was going to do an accent, you racist motherfucker.
Tell him that the gift basket.
Tell them.
If you die, if you do something on stage, you get a gift basket.
I need out of this one.
It's an amazing gift basket.
Let's get back to the show right now.
All right, we're back.
I need to bring up something.
Vince McMahon's Wrestling Storylines00:16:02
I think the best documentarian alive right now is a guy named Chris Smith.
He has, he's the guy who did the Vince McMahon doc that's out right now down.
He started that.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
He did fire, Jim and Andy.
He did Tiger King.
Tiger King.
He did 100 Foot Wave.
I don't know if you guys saw that one.
It was fucking incredible.
100 Foot Wave is like spectacular.
So these guys are seeking to ride a 100-foot wave, right?
And they're these big wave surfers.
They get towed in.
You should probably see it.
And there's this wave in Portugal, Nazare.
I'm probably mispronouncing it, but essentially what happens is because of the way like Nazare Bay is created over millions of years, these two swells come together.
They create these gigantic peaks and you can serve the biggest waves in the world there.
Anyway, this guy, okay.
This is what's so impressive about like documentaries that are fantastic.
You have to create a story that you cannot control.
Yeah, you can control it to a certain extent, but like you're using what people are telling you.
Right?
You can't change their words.
And I'm watching this Vince McMahon dock.
And I went into it as someone who like, I watched wrestling when I was young, but I wasn't like the biggest wrestling fan.
Like I got caught up a little bit with The Rock or whatever.
Like when I was younger, maybe Hogan and what is it?
The Ultimate Warrior or whatever.
Obviously I always loved The Undertaker.
The Undertaker is just like iconic to me.
It's almost like bigger than wrestling.
Yeah.
But I'm watching this documentary and I, first of all, one episode in, it's the best documentary on TV right now.
Please, everybody, go watch this fucking thing.
It's absolutely amazing.
I wish I watched wrestling because it is such a beautiful distillation of whatever is happening in American culture at the time.
Yeah.
Because it's a mirror on purpose.
They're reflecting the trends that are happening and then showcasing them in a little bit more cartoonish way, obviously, through the wrestling.
I always looked at it.
I was like, is this like an athletic thing?
Is this people believe it's real, at least when I was younger, but then it's not or whatever.
It has nothing to do whether it's real or not.
It's these storylines that they put together and literally turning it.
There's this saying, everything is wrestling.
I didn't even understand until I was watching this documentary.
Doing the most sometimes is salacious.
Sometimes it is the most seductive.
Sometimes the most evil.
Sometimes it's the most heroic thing at the time.
And long-term thinking, you have to set up a wrestlemania months prior.
Yeah.
And watching the way that they would reflect culture, understand what the people wanted, and knowing that if people are upset vocally, it's just as good as if they're happy vocally.
If they're cheering or booing, it's the same.
Soap operas from men.
Facts.
Because you have to keep the story going.
You have to keep them engaged.
You have to have your peeks and your voice.
Vince is willing to do anything.
He is willing to do anything.
Yes.
There's a great line in it where he says, somebody says about him, they're like, the only person that Vince has been loyal to his entire life is the business.
Yeah.
He doesn't own the business.
The business owns him.
I compel you all to go watch this documentary.
Yeah.
Give it one episode and tell me that you do not tee up that second one.
I know that you guys have seen it.
I don't know if you've finished it yet.
Yeah.
You finished it.
You just first episode.
Okay.
What are your take so far?
What are things you didn't know about wrestling?
I had been looking for a doc like this for like two years.
I was like Googling like wrestling docs and watching like wrestling docs on YouTube that people put together.
I didn't even realize that this was like in production.
And then I love that it explains the history of wrestling and all the arcs.
Like it's not just about Vince.
It's the entirety of WWF/slash WWE through the viewpoint of the guy, the creator of it.
It kind of goes back to the adage, like great men are hardly ever good men because he is simultaneously both.
He is like an absolute genius and like probably the greatest promoter of all time and also like a true addict to like his proclivities and like he becomes the character.
And he talks about that about other, I don't want to give up too much, but like there's a moment where he talks about how sometimes other wrestlers will start to believe that they are the character.
And not realizing that he became it.
And what I thought was so good about this guy who does the doc, Chris Smith, is that you know how in wrestle, it's like the dock almost mirrors wrestling.
In wrestling, there'll be these heels that sometimes will turn baby face or face.
Face is like good guy, heels, bad guy.
He does that with the wrestlers in the dock.
You're rooting for Vince.
Wow.
Then he's the heel you're rooting against.
Then he switches and makes you.
And I'm watching it, like assessing my emotional connection to the different characters.
And you get honest shit in this.
Like Hulk Hogan admits to snitching on all the other wrestlers when they were trying to unionize against Vince.
And he goes, yeah, I went and told Vince they were all trying to unionize.
And then he later turns on Vince and sells him out and goes to WCW and then comes back.
And Vince knows that's the best thing if he comes back.
That was actually an interesting point that Vince doesn't look betrayal in return as him like giving in.
He sees it as a power thing.
That no matter what you say about me, you always come back.
And that's so interesting because I never saw that.
It's the ultimate victory.
You came crawling back, whatever it is.
That's the ultimate sign of power and dominance.
Danny looks at just what's good for business.
It doesn't matter.
It doesn't matter.
One of the chicks sued him.
They paid out and then they hired her back just because now she got raids.
That is nuts.
I mean, the storylines with his family would hold up.
Like the fact that he's like, okay, I'm going to put my daughter in.
She's now a wrestler.
And like, she's a part of the storylines.
And they're all calling her a slut.
Thousands of people in this arena.
And then he looks over and just goes, bro.
There's a guy.
Perfect.
Sorry, go out.
Piggybacking off that.
Like, I thought he was already off.
Like, you see it happening throughout the doc.
But when one of the storylines was he was going to say that he slept with Impregnated daughter for a storyline.
I'm like, yo, this guy is next level.
Yeah, he's crazy.
I loved it because I was a bit more of a wrestling guy.
Like, I probably had maybe a five to 10-year period where I was like in it.
I had like a two-year-old.
I was like really in it.
And then when you said male soap opera, I remember I missed like two episodes and then you're and I didn't care anymore.
And I was like, oh, it's a male soap opera.
Yeah.
I'm good.
But the way they tell story.
And my brother, when he broke down the Cody Rhodes getting the bell from Roman Reigns, it was like a multi-year arc.
And then it paid off in a way that everybody was so fucking thrilled about.
It's like, wow, that is, I mean, perfect storytelling.
Yeah.
Perfect.
Like having Undertaker undefeated for every WrestleMania.
And then the first time he lost, that was like traumatic.
That was like, I can't believe what's happening right now.
Oh, you remember going through that line?
Yeah, yeah.
Like, that was nuts.
I'm like, no, this can't happen.
Like, I was flustered.
I'm like, that shit works.
He's good.
He understands how to evoke that emotion and reflect what the people are feeling.
Like, when he becomes the big bad billionaire owner, it's at a time when American workers were really starting to resent these successful people who were holding them down.
And they didn't feel the confidence in the American dream that they might have felt a decade prior.
A decade prior, they might have felt, maybe I could be fucking Hulk Hokan.
I can go out there, rip my shirt off.
Like, I wonder if there's some of this reflects American economy and opportunity.
But like to be able to understand that and go, oh, they hate me because I'm the boss that makes these horrible decisions and I don't care about the working man.
Or the people that love Stone Cold.
I just he was the rejection of the authority.
Yeah.
I didn't realize this.
Like growing up, everyone had awesome 316, like bumper stickers and shirts.
You just see it everywhere, like where I grew up in Florida.
And now that I'm understanding what he represented, I can get it somewhat.
If I'm not mistaken, it was around the period where there was like the 1%, 99%.
They were doing all those markets.
So it's like, he, like you said, this is going on in reality and he just amplifies it.
And he didn't mind being the absolute boogeyman.
He's like, I'll take it.
I will take the heat.
You can hate me all you fucking want.
And most people can't check that ego.
Someone even said this to us about fighters entering the ring.
Like, it's very hard for a fighter to be a heel.
Something I've always credited Jake about.
Jake Chale might have said this.
Chails, probably.
He's like, these fighters come to the ring and we want to be cheered.
It's hard to be booed.
But if you are booed like crazy, you can make crazy money.
But it is emotionally too much weight for the fighter to hold.
I think that's something that you got to give Jake credit for.
Like, he can be hated.
Yeah.
It's a superpower.
That was an interesting moment seeing how The Rock turned his entry into like praise, like by ultimately addressing and sort of confronting the ridicule and the booze.
Like it's just a good lesson.
Like they're getting, he's getting shoved down the throats of the fans.
They hate it.
They hate that he's some legacy guy that everything was given to him.
Because it looks like nepotism.
Exactly.
It's handed to him.
And then he acknowledges it and calls like a respect thing and then kind of turns heel.
Shut your candy ass up.
And they luck it.
They love it.
And they love it.
And it's like just such a good lesson.
Like, oh, if you're in that position, like there's, you can look at wrestling as kind of a template for like how to deal with the criticism.
You can look at wrestling for a template for entertainment in general.
And some people just end up doing it authentically.
Like it just, it is so pure to them.
I think like the fighting version of Stone Cold, this is going to seem a little bit derivative, but like a Nate Diaz.
I do whatever I want.
I'm going to, you know, I'm going to also Nate and Schaub are beefing right now, which is wild to see if that turns out.
Yeah.
But like, but I mean, imagine they actually fight.
Shaub is a big boy.
Fuck.
Yeah.
Yeah.
But this idea that like Nate has always been beloved because he's always been rebellious.
I do what I want.
I'll smoke fucking weed.
Fuck you.
I'm going out there.
I'm choking you out.
I don't give a fuck.
Yeah.
And he hasn't presented to us as some multi-billionaire who's made all this money fighting, and now we resent his life and his success.
Yeah, anyway, I would go watch this.
There's one question.
Sorry.
Did he become the character or was he always a character?
And we're being a little sympathetic, saying he's somebody.
I don't know.
I think he becomes.
I thought about this.
I think what happens is I think what happens is like the character is always like a part of you.
And it might be like a quiet part of your personality that you can tap into.
Right.
And then the positive reinforcement gives you more confidence in leaning into that part of you.
I think even just that question is more profound than you know because he modeled the character after his father.
Oof.
So was it an inevitability that he would just always end up like his father?
And him creating that character, was that just a faster pipeline to becoming that?
Or is that ultimately why he did it?
Because he became the character that he modeled after his dad.
Also, like, I see a lot of eerie similarities with Trump.
Like, he has a son that's always just wanted love from him.
They never give love.
Like, just a lot of similar things.
Yeah.
His dad just, he's just getting the shit beaten out of him every day by his stepdad.
And then his dad never acknowledges it.
Just kind of pats him on the back when he meets him.
Everybody.
I mean, there's, I mean, yeah, there's some awesome moments where like his, yeah, you got to watch it.
It is.
And wrestling fans are listening to this being like, duh.
Yeah, we understand that we're late.
And I want to talk to some wrestlers actually about this.
Like, there's a guy on it, Cody Rhodes, that you see in it.
And you had spoken, you've done this great breakdown of like what his arc had been.
Yeah.
But he's really fascinating because his father was also a wrestler, but he seems to have this.
It's almost like a bird's eye view of it all.
Like he's almost kind of like fluent in wrestling because he grew up in it, just like Vince did.
Like Vince's dad was a promoter.
I had no fucking clue.
He took over the business.
He bought it.
He bought his dad out.
Oh, wow.
So knowing that kind of like, what, oh, this is how it works.
This is the business.
How do you succeed within the business?
Like, I want to know what the fuck Cody did politically to sell Vince on him winning.
That's also like, you got to know on the come up, what do I need to do in order to get that belt?
I need the fans to either not want me to have it at all or be really rooting for me.
Because Vince's decision ain't about, oh, I like him.
He's sweet.
He's talented.
It's what does that fucking audience want?
Yeah.
Or what would they hate the most?
Yeah.
Done.
He hooked his daughter up with Triple H.
That was just supposed to be a storyline and that became their real life.
Like kind of forced the marriage because they needed a marriage storyline for the show.
Wow.
It's crazy.
It's really crazy.
And a great thing about this doc is that they started it before the shit came out about Vince.
And then the last two episodes, it's after the shit that came out about Vince.
And so it's like, wow, you see all the stuff that people were saying, like, no, he's like everybody except Vince was saying, no, that's kind of him.
Vince is in denial.
And then you hear all the stuff that happens.
Like, oh, shit, that really wasn't.
Also, credit the wrestlers on it.
They are brutally honest.
Honestly, and so good.
I mean, you get why they're the greatest.
You see why Vince was like, yeah, you're going to run the ring.
Every one of them is cutting a promo while they're talking.
It's not like some awkward, nervous person in a documentary, like, oh my God, what will the world say?
What I have to, they are soaking it up.
Yeah.
Yeah, it's perfect.
Yeah.
So we got to talk to, I mean, yeah, we got to talk to him.
We need Stone Cold.
Yo, Stone Cold.
Because I was watching the shit.
I was like, oh, yeah, this would have been my favorite guy.
He was awesome.
He's Stone Cold on the Rock coming out to run the beard.
Such a run.
You know, it's funny is that my folks had a small business, right?
They taught dance lessons.
But I think that that frames your view of the world a little bit, where it's like, I didn't care for Stone Cold rebelling against the business owner.
You know what I mean?
So I was like, oh, I guess he's like a Texas guy drinking the beers and like, but it wasn't to me like the most rebellious thing.
I didn't empathize with it.
Dude, what's weird?
This is like the, my brother watched like a WrestleMania on tape, and it was one I think they decided to turn Stone Cold Face.
Yeah.
And so I, the thing that got, it was like a submission match, and that guy breathed the hit man hard with like never lost submission match, whatever.
So Stone Cold is like bleeding.
He must cut his head open.
He's bleeding, refuses to quit, quit, refuses to quit.
And that's when people are like, oh, I fucking love that guy.
So they make it about not even him rebelling that makes you like him.
He refuses to fucking give up.
He refuses to surrender.
I love that.
And then all this other stuff is awesome too.
Yeah.
Now I love all the other stuff because I get that guy at his heart.
It's like a save the cat moment.
Where like at that guy at his heart is a he's a guy who will never quit.
He will never give in.
He's a fighter.
And I want to be that guy.
And I want to be that guy.
There's, I mean, oh, just there's, there's these moments where he is this line.
He talks about, uh, he goes, he talks about the belt.
He goes, they don't, the belt isn't theirs, meaning the champions.
Yes.
It's my belt.
And sometimes the champions don't want to give up the belt.
So he needs to devise situations where unbeknownst to them, they lose that fucking belt because it's not theirs.
Yeah.
Never Give Up Fighting Spirit00:02:09
But he can't just strip them because then the audience will be furious.
You know, you gotta, you gotta watch this thing.
I also love seeing Vince's failures.
I think that's like really helpful.
XFL.
Like seeing like this restaurant and Time Schwarz, like all these different ventures that he does that don't work.
And he's like, yeah, it's fine.
Just wake up the next day.
I'm moving on to the next thing.
By the time this thing is going, I don't even know if it worked or not.
I'm just moving on.
Like he's just so locked in on the process and loves the process.
He does not dwell on any failure.
I mean, there's a whole episode where WCW comes out and this guy, Eric Bischoff, is the guy who runs it.
And it starts to dominate.
Yeah, I remember that.
And then 83 weeks.
Yeah.
83 weeks.
And it's like they talk about what's going on and you start to really sympathize and empathize for Vince.
Like, what the fuck is going on?
And the adjustments that WCW made to be successful, the adjustments that WWE made.
Like Vince, I mean, even says it.
He's like, this is a talent-driven business.
And he's still trying to find talent.
He's still trying to find it.
He's like, where is the, like, he's still curing.
And then all of a sudden, lightning strikes, Stone Cold.
Yeah.
The rock.
John Cena.
John Cena.
Like, yeah.
But anyway, masterful storytelling and the most brutally honest.
Like these wrestlers, I think outside of The Undertaker, it almost felt like none of them were.
You know, sometimes people like won't speak because they feel guilty talking about a friend or something like that.
Yeah.
Did you get that sense from anybody who fucking Triple Agent's his son-in-law?
And he's like, he's like, being honest, like, yeah, Vince is this way, he's that way.
Like, just being real.
It's awesome.
But I wouldn't.
I can imagine that's probably them holding back.
That's probably them holding back a little bit.
So that motherfucker was psycho.
Doing crazy shit.
But then you hear about him paying for people's chemo for their wives and being a father figure and making everyone money.
And you're like, I kind of like this guy.
Anyway, watch it.
I want to talk to this Cody Rhodes guy.
He's interesting.
That would be fucking fire.
Cody, get on the pod.
Cody, we need you on the pod to explain wrestling to us idiots.
Triple Agent Son-in-Law Secrets00:10:22
And show us some work, bro.
I'm going to try and get a choke slant through a talk.
Oh, okay.
What do you mean?
You mean like sexual.
Yeah, that was.
You guys don't know wrestling?
That's what I call it.
I don't think they do that.
I don't think they call it that.
Yeah, it's a work.
Yeah.
You guys don't know wrestling?
I feel like I'm talking about like fucking pleading.
Like, you guys don't sound like you want to get fucking.
That's that's it.
Yeah, no, it's a word.
Yeah, I think Diddy called that too.
Take me off.
Split my cheese.
Anyway, yeah, we got to get our wrestling shit up.
Also, Asshole Army, if there's any other people you think have like really good takes on this specific documentary, let us know because I want to talk to them too.
What else we got, my boys?
14 days left, guys.
We swayed the election.
Sorry.
Yeah.
You know, it is what it is.
Fucking Alex.
Which way do we sway it?
I don't know.
You'll never know.
I think we'll find out soon.
Yeah.
What do you guys think?
Dude, I keep, again, I keep seeing like people say, if you look at the Electoral Map, she's not, she's going to win.
Trump's not going to win.
She's going to run away with it.
I think FA or Cassetta sent us a link.
And it all kind of makes sense.
Oh, yeah.
FA sent us a link of a guy saying like he broke it down.
Yeah.
But it seems like the energy is completely with Trump.
Cuban hit me up and he's like, young dudes, don't get out there and vote.
She's going to win easily.
But then you see the energy online and you're like, whoa, there's been a resurgence.
And he's had some good moments this week.
Like the McDonald's shit was.
Yeah.
That shit was great.
I mean, great.
I was interested.
Why was that great?
Just the visual of a president serving fries at McDonald's.
And also, like, anything he does, he reacts purely to.
You know how, like, one of the great things about stand-up is like, you can give, you can, hopefully you do it authentically.
And if you can't, you can try your best to recreate that authenticity with how you would react in the moment to these stories that you're telling or these things, right?
Yeah.
Very few people react in the moment to stuff how they feel because there's a concern or the cost of it.
And I think the reason why Trump is so entertaining is because he is genuinely reacting in the moment to how he feels every single time he approaches stimulus.
So when he did that roast thing, if the joke was bad, he's like, that was a nasty joke.
He's not going, oh, if it bombs, I'm going to say this.
He is reacting in the moment.
He's in the middle of a setup.
Someone interrupts him and he addresses it.
And he's like, oh, yeah, yeah.
Anyway, back to the joke.
Like, he's like completely aware of everything that's happening at all times.
Yeah.
And yeah, so it's like, you can't not watch.
And then when you see somebody who's trying to like orchestrate the perfect version of an interview, it comes across a little bit authentic or just boring.
Yeah.
Okay.
Now, that can be horrible because you can say horrible things because some of us have horrible reactions to shit.
This podcast is an example of it.
We constantly react in the moment to things and then go, whoa, that was a little wild.
And he's also reacting to things in the moment a little wild.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Haiti's a shithole country.
Like, all right, well, that's that's a little crazy to say.
I mean, it's a very authentic reaction.
You nailed it, but it is a little crazy.
Jesus Christ.
It's authentic.
It's not right, but he didn't feel like it.
But it's how he felt.
So why is this good?
To me, this is like stage bullshit.
But watching him in the environment.
So I didn't like that.
They shut down the McDonald's.
First of all, this is crazy.
This is where my wife grew up.
I've been to that, like the shopping center where this McDonald's is.
For the feast trend.
Yeah, it's like five minutes from her dad's house.
Hilarious.
But they shut it down, which I was initially critical of, but then F.A. brought up a good point, which is as many assassination attempts as there have been.
You can't have a message.
You can't have just a fucking open drive-through and anybody through the microphone.
It made complete sense.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah, there's no way.
Okay.
They shut down whole golf courses for any president to golf ever.
Like, you'll lose yourself.
We were doing shows in Cincinnati this weekend, and JD Vance was in town because he lives over there.
And they shut down the whole highway for JD Vance.
We're not even talking about the guy who they're actually trying to kill.
Yeah.
So, shutting down the McDonald's is not that crazy idea.
Okay, let's just see the reaction.
They asked him what his favorite thing on the menu is.
Yeah.
Mr. Carl, what's your favorite thing to order at McDonald's?
I like it all.
I like every house of it.
Everything.
But I do like the French verse, who I'll be working.
Look at him.
He's just a cartoon character.
Everything he does is funny.
Never even touch it, huh?
That's thousands of people.
Look at this.
What a beautiful word.
Look at him flaring.
Perfect-looking person, Mr. Morgan.
Perfect-looking person.
That is great.
Hi, Mom.
Thank you very much.
Yeah, no compliments for the mom.
None.
I think he's tired.
I think he's kind of tired and just doesn't give a shit anymore.
Yo, that's kind of my feeling.
And it's more attractive.
And it's going to work more for me.
Not giving a shit about the most important job in the world.
Yeah.
I think he's kind of tired.
I think he's old and it's been a lot and it's been a long time that he's been fighting.
His ego is so tied up into it that he feels like he has to keep going.
But there's a little part of him that's like, I just want to golf with my granddaughter.
I don't feel like fighting every single day.
I don't see like answering the same stupid questions every single day.
But if he doesn't win, then he might face legal troubles in the last, you know, 10, 15 years of his life, and that's going to suck.
Now you're talking.
But I'm saying that would be shitty for him.
So he's like, okay, I've win.
I can kind of ameliorate some of those problems.
I lose.
And my ego takes a hit, but I can just go golf.
I also think he does want to win.
Because he's a winner.
He has a winner's mentality.
But I think that he's, I think he's just bored of the process.
So he's at the point where he's done so many interviews and they ask him the same thing every single time.
And it's so predictable that he's just like, can we have some fun?
Can I just serve some fries at a McDonald's?
Doesn't that make sense?
Yeah.
Can we just listen to some music on stage?
Bring some other people on stage.
Let's have them talk and we'll chop it up about them.
The Al Smith dinner, he's like paling it up with Chuck Schumer, who's supposed to be his mortal enemy.
He's not literally, like, I think they've been friends for decades, but Chuck is like the leader of the Democratic Party, right?
And he's paling it up.
He's, he's a good guy.
I shouldn't say it.
I gave him his first check.
He's a good guy.
I should never say this.
But I like this guy.
I would say that he had a few glasses of wine if I didn't know that he doesn't drink.
It was that kind of looseness about being president is just rare.
So this is, he did see it.
I could see it.
He did it because Kamala said that she works at McDonald's.
And he just flat out was like, I don't believe you.
He's like, I'm going to work at McDonald's longer than you say you did.
Yeah.
I was like, you actually have worked at McDonald's now.
No, I have worked at McDonald's.
I've now worked for 15 minutes more than Kamala.
Why would she lie about something like that?
Look what they put on your resume.
I worked at McDonald's.
Why would she lie about that?
Why?
Because she's lying Kamala.
That's what I'm saying.
That's a legend.
That's a legend.
Anyway, he's got some others.
You want to watch that?
Let's see what else we got.
Kamala was skipping the Al Smith dinner.
I'd really hope that she would come because we can't get enough of hearing her beautiful laugh.
She laughs like crazy.
We would recognize it any place in this room.
And all polls are indicating I'm leading big with the Catholic vote, as I should be, as I should be.
But I don't think Kamala has given up yet.
She hasn't.
Instead of attending tonight, she's in Michigan receiving communion from Gretchen Whitmer.
Why is that funny?
I don't get that.
I don't really get it.
I thought it was going to be like her laugh.
She sounds like a fucking devil or whatever, like a witch laugh or something.
That's why she's.
No, Gretchen Whitmer is the governor of Chuck Schumer is here.
Governor of Michigan.
Is she the governor?
Senator?
I'm not sure.
I thought governor, but big Gretchen.
They tried to kidnap her.
Yeah.
Governor, I think a Democrat.
Got it.
This is the Chuck Schumer one.
Chuck Schumer is here looking very glum.
This didn't look glum.
It looks glum.
But look on the bright side, Chuck, considering how woke your party has become.
If Kamala loses, you still have a chance to become the first woman president.
That's just crazy.
She's called you a bitch right to your face.
It's crazy.
That is.
I love that they do this.
I'm actually bummed Kamala didn't do it.
Yeah.
I was always bummed when the Trump didn't go to the White House correspondence.
Yeah, it's just such a great tradition.
Obviously, we're biased because we're comedians, but to see the most powerful people in your country get humbled publicly.
It's a pretty awesome tradition.
But I'm, you know, they're running, and I think she wants to use every minute to try to be like foot on the ground talking with the people.
Yeah, I get the decision, but also this has been historic.
Like people have gone and done this.
The people running for president have gone and done this stuff.
I feel like this gets seen by so many people.
Oh, yeah.
If you do exist for the jokes.
Obama, I remember having some bangers in his, and it's like, yeah, this gets seen by millions and millions of people.
But I guess they're being really targeted.
I agree with you.
I would go for what everybody's going to end up seeing, but I think their strategy is we need 5,000 people in this district of Wisconsin to come out.
And if I go to that target and speak at that target, then maybe they will.
Also, allegedly, she was pissed that her campaign manager said not to go.
Yeah.
Oh, really?
This is like behind the scenes.
I don't know if any of this is true.
This is just like insider leaks or whatever that her campaign manager was like, yeah, don't go to that instead.
Go to this other thing because it'll be more beneficial, yada, yada.
And she like freaked out, flipped out on the campaign manager.
It was like, if I lose this election, it's your fucking fault.
And like went off.
Campaign Manager Freak Out00:05:28
That's fire.
Apparently, that's what happened.
But I think this might be the funniest Trump thing.
When he's talking about Arnold Palmer, this is great.
Awesome.
This is at a rally.
He's just talking about vote for Trump.
But Arnold Palmer was all man.
And I say that in all due respect to women, and I love women.
But this guy, this guy, this is a guy that was all man.
This man was strong and tough.
And I refused to say it.
But when he took showers with the other pros, they came out of there.
They said, oh, my God.
Watch him.
Watch him.
That's unbelievable.
I ain't never seen the video.
I only heard the audio.
Bro, that's just crazy.
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Bro, the cow shit.
You saw this one?
What's your favorite animal?
This happened just the other day.
This shit is on an owner.
I'm from Massachusetts.
And he wants to know about your favorite animal.
Let's watch.
President, my name is Briar.
I'm six years old.
I live on a farm in Massachusetts.
What's your favorite farm animal?
Favorite farm animal?
What's going on?
I'll tell you what I love.
I love cows.
But if we go with Kamala, you won't have any cows anymore because you gotta have.
I don't want to ruin this kid's day.
I love cows.
I think they're so cute and so beautiful.
But according to Kamala, who's a radical left lunatic, you will not have any cows in a moment.
To a six-year-old.
I like cows.
I know.
Kill this guy.
Like, that's what you want.
That's incredible.
Is that incredible?
To a six-year-old.
You're looking at it 10 years from now.
I loved his answer.
I got to be honest with you.
I'm a Hindu.
I really admired the answer.
Stop eating Big Macs, though.
Yeah.
Yeah, but he's saying that Kamala would get rid of the cows, like kill them all and not bring them back.
That's why I would go for it.
Methane gas.
Cow farts affect the ozone layer more than she tried to reach for to make sense of that bullshit.
So that is crazy.
This was a talking point that people would use when they were trying to outlaw gas cars or something like that.
They're like, if we outlaw cars because of the carbon footprint, let's outlaw cows because their farts cause more methane to get at least.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So he's just smart, Al.
God.
I'm sure that's what he was saying.
And then Kamala had the Glock moment.
That was funny.
What was the Glock?
Sounds awesome.
Did you not see this?
Oh, this is the over one.
Yeah, but this is old.
Yeah, she hasn't had as many bangers lately.
But she had one, but then they kind of reframed it.
Somebody said something in the audience, and she's like, Yeah, you're all going to watch it.
Yeah, if you have it.
Donald Trump hand-selected three members of the United States Supreme Court with the intention that they would undo the protections of Roe v. Wade, and they did as he intended.
Oh, you guys are at the wrong rally.
This is fire.
That was good.
Now she's gassed up.
She got it in the chain timing.
Reframed Politics and Demagogues00:12:32
I think you meant to go to the smaller one down the street.
Bang!
Bang!
See, that's good.
Good timing, bro.
That's good.
It's good.
Waiting for it too.
Yeah, waiting for it to stay.
It's crazy how that got reframed by the right.
So the right reframed it as they said, Jesus is king or something.
Christ is king.
Christ is king When they just said lies, so saying it, that's interesting because I saw it initially, saw the reframing by was advance or something like that, and believe the reframing.
Jesus, come on, Jesus.
Yeah.
Is king.
Is king.
But the line is fantastic.
You get to do the same dig that really hurt him the last time.
You look witty.
You look quick.
You look poised.
She looked fun.
She has that big smile after she said the first part because she knows she got it locked up.
She's like, oh, she looks fun.
And Americans like that.
Like, we got to stop pretending we're different than who we are.
We like entertainment.
We like rebellion.
We like authenticity.
Yes.
So you got to give us authenticity, rebellion, and entertainment.
If anybody looks like their toe in the company line, we roll our fucking eyes.
It is our worst nightmare.
Japan, like being a, what is it called?
A salary man is like a thing of honor.
In America, being an entrepreneur is something that we're looking forward to.
It's something that we wish for.
It's a country that's built on defiance.
The entire identity of this country is rebelling against whatever we were.
Whatever oppressive regime you came from, whoever colonized you, whatever it is, it is defy, defy, defy.
And when we see that in our leaders, we like it.
When we see it in Elon, we like it.
When we saw it in Mark Cuban, we liked it.
Mark Cuban was causing crazy fucking stress in the NBA and we liked it.
Players were even like, I want to play for that guy over there.
He's shaking shit up.
We enjoy it.
More of that from Kamala over the next 12 days.
Yeah.
If possible.
But if it's not who you are authentically.
Play is weird.
I think she can do it.
That's why I think it was a miss to not go to the La Rose thing.
Like you show them this.
I think she got to do, and I said this to Charlemagne when we're talking about Brilliant Addis, but it's like another talk with Charlemagne.
I think Charlemagne brings the best side.
I'm biased, but I brings the best side of her out, in my personal opinion, like because he'll, he'll push.
Yeah.
Like he pushes.
That Fox News interview.
The Fox thing.
I think she did really well on that.
Yeah.
Yeah.
With Brett Bears.
Yeah, yeah.
Really good.
Yeah.
I think that's what I'm saying.
Yeah, she needs stress.
She was forced to show herself, like, be herself.
It wasn't just queued up, prepared answers.
It was like, oh, shit, I'm on defense, so I have to fight back.
And that's when her authentic self came out.
Or what I think is.
Yeah, I just feel like, and I say this with, this is pure feelings, no facts, but I just feel like the Republican Party is a star-based party, and the Democrat Party is an institution-based party.
Meaning Trump had so much star power that he took over the party and the party just fell in line.
They're like, okay, we're going to go along with whatever star.
It's like, you're our leader.
You're our dictator.
You're whatever it is.
We're following you.
And I think the Democrats are like, the party is the star.
And we will place different people in to be the figurehead for the party, but the party is the star.
And if you're like fucking Bernie, you try to go a little bit outside of the party and do your own thing, we'll remind you very quickly that the party is the star.
I can say that, but Obama had star quality.
He had star power, but he still operated within the party.
And he's still to this day operating within the party.
He's doing what is best for the party.
He's Trump now.
Republicans will.
Hey, we'll fall in line with Trump.
He's not going to say what Republicans want a lot of times.
Remember how much they hated him when he first ran in 2016 in the primary?
None of them liked him.
They didn't really want to win this time.
And as soon as he wins, whatever he says, let's go.
But Obamacare was like ultra progressive at the time.
And they all fell in line because it was actually causing Democrats.
Yeah, it was causing Democrats to lose a lot of elections because they passed Obamacare.
So that was him like pushing the envelope and then they all fell in line.
Fair and fair.
I'm not saying Obama's not a star because he is a fucking superstar.
They just got lucky that they got a superstar that was willing to be part of the party.
And I think that that is like the culture of the Democratic Party.
Like AOC was blabbering nonstop.
The party said, hey, can you just tone it down a little bit?
You don't hear every once in a while, maybe some Gaza thing that she talks about.
But this girl was like every day hammering the fucking tweets, engaging with everybody, and she is silenced.
My assumption is they told her how things work and they might have promised her something.
And they got the lever in place in the primary.
If they don't want you to win, the superdelegates is all that really matters.
And that's how you keep everyone in line.
If you're running as a Democrat and you know you cannot go against the machine, you at a very early stage in your political career, you start realizing, okay, well, I need to work with the machine.
Now, in 2016, Trump was anti-machine.
I'm not taking your money.
I'm going to fund my own shit.
So he was able to just fuck the machine.
Yeah, yeah.
Now, there's no superdelegates in that primary.
So if he wins the primary, he wins.
Bernie should have probably won in 2016, but they just had it like, no, this Hillary's the horse that we're picking.
That's what it is.
All the superdelegates are there.
Good luck.
And he's admitted so.
Yeah, yeah.
So it's like.
He said it on Theo's podcast.
It's crazy.
Low-key, I feel like AOC is just like waiting by the side.
Like, she's going to go for presidency one day.
And I, nothing makes me more confident that she will do that than the fact that she barely tweets anymore.
She's going, hey, I actually want to take this serious, and I think I can actually do it.
And I'm going to prove to you guys that I can kind of play ball.
She'll be good in debates and shit, too.
She'll like, she'll have her moments.
I don't, I'm not the biggest fan, but she'll be good.
She'll be good as a candidate.
But it's just interesting to see how politics really works.
And we know, we're just scratching the surface.
We don't really know the inner workings, right?
But to see like how a party, if you become part of the party, how you need to operate within that party, you can be a complete outsider if you're enough of a superstar in the Republican Party and they will get behind whatever the fuck you say.
Like, it's kind of wild.
Trump lost that election and Republicans won't even admit that.
Yeah.
Yes.
Right?
Fucking nuts.
And the second he no longer has power of the Republican Party.
If whoever has power says Trump lost the election, all those people would say, guys, he lost the election.
Like, can we just move forward?
But they want a, as weird as it is in a democracy, it's almost like the party wants a dictator.
Because directly after January 6th, a lot of Republicans were denouncing Trump.
Ah, because they even got it.
They thought it was like over for him.
And so they started turning on him and then were like, oh, shit, he still has following up.
Let me switch that up real quick.
I wonder if it's like just the nature of conservative conservatism versus progressivism.
Talk to me.
Like, if you're a progressive and you exist within a progressive party, your job is to then outlie policy.
And so you have to push policy forward.
Whereas if you're a conservative, you can just be like, let's just keep this shit the same.
So as a result, it sort of like uplifts like sort of like demagogues, like people that have like this cult of personality.
Whereas the policy people have to be more policy focused.
And so it necessitates less of a personality driven party.
Interesting.
I don't know.
But like, that's just, I wonder if that's the, I wonder if that like contributes to it.
But I don't know if that exists like around, I mean, it kind of does.
Like, I feel like in Argentina, like the right-wing faction is like much more personality driven.
And then the liberal faction is like much more policy driven.
Right-wing fashion in Argentina right now is Malay.
Yeah.
And like he's like, again, there's obviously policy, not to say it's not policy, but the policy is generally like, hey, let's just kind of keep shit more or less how it is.
Yeah.
Well, it seems like he's switching it up, Malay.
Well, trying to go back to the way things were, I guess, make Argentina great again.
Yeah.
But I don't know.
This is just my opinion.
Yeah.
I like that.
Yeah.
There's something interesting with that.
But yeah, I think that's definitely true, though.
I think conservatives like a strong figurehead, which is why you see a lot of them being like, yo, Putin is fucking awesome.
And you're like, wait, what?
And you're like, yeah, he's just a beast.
He's manly.
Like, it's less policy.
They don't know what any of his policy is.
They're just like, yeah, he's like a cool guy.
Whereas I think liberals are more like, what are the facts and what's the data?
And that's why it gets lost on so many people.
Or they're like, well, technically this year, the energy emissions have been this amount.
And everyone's like, what the fuck are you talking about?
But I think people that are into policy are like, no, that actually makes way more.
And why are liberals more concerned about that?
I don't know.
I think Jonathan Hyde does research where he's like, some people are just like, have an aptitude for change and progress, and other people have an aptitude where they're resistant to change.
And like, he literally just defines it as like their genetic traits that split generally 50-50 and they kind of shift during culture.
I mean, he wrote about it in one of his books.
I forget which one.
But that's what he says.
That is interesting because I always wonder, I'm like, why are people so like they push back when they hear someone's a progressive?
And I'm like, don't you want to progress?
Don't you want to try to improve on things?
I think the word progress or progressive or tolerance or accepting has different definitions for different people.
So I think we all want progress to a certain extent, but progress to some people might mean like shooting kids up with gender-affirming hormones without the permission of the parents.
But they might, with their best intentions, be like, we need to help these kids.
I think it might be pure altruism.
There might be some like special interest groups that no longer can make money off of gay rights.
So they have to find another thing to make money off of.
And that's another thing that I don't think people talk about.
It's like, if you're like a special interest group and you built your company and it's lobbying to get rights for black people or gay people, once they have rights, you don't take the company and dissolve it.
You have employees.
You need to find another cause.
And that's why the Republicans fucked up with Roe v. Wade because all those anti-abortion lobbies liked raising money against Roe v. Wade.
Now, what do they have to do?
We got to come federally.
We got to fan the federal.
We got to come for IVF.
We got to.
It was actually perfect before because if we're talking about the greed people are trying to make money off these causes, exactly.
They have the boogeyman.
They get to push back against the boogeyman.
They got rid of the boogeyman.
Now they're like, what else can we do?
Now we got to create a shittier boogeyman.
Yeah.
IVF facilities.
Yeah.
Get rid of them.
Which most moderate people are going to be like, what the fuck?
Yeah.
So there are people who are genuine and authentic about these causes and they really want to expand rights and tolerance for trans people.
And there are people who are no longer raising money on gay rights.
And they're like, well, we got to find someone else to fucking raise money on this is what I do for a living.
I can't let that salary go away.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Theoretically, like an ACLU, which is, can you, I imagine, worth hundreds of millions or whatever.
They, in the 60s, if they're formed, there's plenty of real black people don't have equal rights at all.
Fast forward to 2024, for the most part, people have rights.
There is for sure systemic things, whatever, whatever.
And we can kind of fight against that, but it's not really, oh, trans issues.
Oh, these issues.
Oh, those issues.
And then you just keep finding new boogeymen.
I wonder if this is like a function of higher education, too.
Like you're part of these institutions.
And as an educator at these institutions, you're also, you know, writing thesis theses.
Yeah.
Right.
And like you're just kind of waxing poetic on these ideas.
You're not going, hey, this is the 100% fact, but what if privilege is intersectional and all these things could affect it, yada, yada, yada.
And these ideas that are meant to be more, I don't want to say hyperbolic, but meant to be more almost like frivolous.
It's just food for thought.
Like we're just throwing these, bouncing these things around.
They get taken very seriously by a group of people who are still seeking out identity and understanding like what their beliefs in the world are.
Like, you're still malleable in college.
Like, I sent some money to Joseph Kony 2012.
Like, anything that seems like someone's victimized and you want to help them, you're there for it.
Antidepressants and Identity Seeking00:06:53
He was 29 at the time.
30 years ago.
Look at that.
Imagine I was 18.
I probably would have given the money to Coney himself.
Yeah.
Which one did you give money to?
I don't know to this day.
I know I got my poster.
You said 2012 out of his quick mad.
I don't know, buddy.
Promoting shows and also donating to Coke.
I was back home.
I know that.
I was back home.
Oh, fuck.
I wasn't even college.
Yeah.
Damn.
We're malleable in our time.
I got got.
You know what I mean?
I got got, man.
Thank God they don't have a donation thing after these Netflix documentaries, bro.
Because I will give you everything at the end of a documentary.
Yeah.
I'm sending the Menendez Brothers money right now.
Menendez, Vince McMahon, free Vince.
I feel you.
I was donating to BLM and they were taking my money and buying lesbian houses.
We all fuck up some.
Isn't that like a timeshare?
Can you spend like a weekend there?
I should be able to.
You got to look into that.
Trans ashes out of my fucking eyes.
What did you call them Air RBs back in the day?
Yeah, yeah.
All right, guys, let's take a break for a second and just see who's been sober.
Any of us?
I have.
I have.
You don't count.
Locked in.
Dude, Mark's HRV, which is supposed to be like a measurement of stress.
92% recovery.
Hold them on.
His measurement of like HRV is like how stressed you are.
He hasn't taken 145 is insane.
It's not taking care of your family.
He's sleeping so much.
You need to take care of your head.
Have you seen his whoop?
I put a whoop on him.
And his heart rate has been going crazy.
What's your HRV?
145.
What's 96?
Damn.
That's what I'm saying, bro.
We got to relax.
I've been so stressed out.
Al is actually doing sober October minus one day.
Yeah.
What happened?
My recovery was 30% that day.
It started with red wine and then it all fell apart.
Can I tell you?
Wait, wait, wait, what happened?
What happened?
No, no, no, no.
It was just like we went to a restaurant.
They had a really good wine deal.
It was like some bottomless shit for 20, but it was like really good bottles of wine.
And yeah.
That's how they get you.
Got home around 4 a.m. that night.
When was that?
This weekend?
No, it was last weekend.
Here in New York?
Yeah.
What restaurant?
Quality meats.
Oh, yeah.
That place is good.
Great.
Yeah.
Can I tell you the dumbest thing I did to improve my sleep?
This is the dumbest thing I think I've ever done in my life.
Okay.
I was on Amazon and I purchased a grounding mat.
This is a mat.
Okay, look, the earth has.
I already said it was stupid.
I already said it.
He's gone too far.
Oh, my God.
I purchased this.
I'm rolling out of the door.
What's missing, yo?
That's what I'm trying to figure out.
Like, what do you need?
What do you need?
Nature.
I'm trying to get back to nature, dog.
I'm telling you, this is what it is.
The earth has a natural negative energy source that basically our body puts all of our electrons into.
Okay.
Now you're sounding like these fucking earthy bitches, bro.
I got 92% recovery.
Baby, say it all is white.
You always have green recovery.
I know.
No, no, no, no.
It was bad for like three days.
Don't yawn.
Come on.
Don't yawn.
This is your help.
This is our help.
I can't do this shit.
This is the dumbest thing I ever did.
I'm trying to take this whoop seriously.
It plugs into the wall.
What?
Wait, it's the earth where it plugs into the wall.
Yeah, it plugs into the ground.
I'm sorry.
Sonic.
Your receptacles have ground.
Yeah.
I was so sweaty the whole night because it doesn't breathe at all.
It's just a leather mat.
You slept on the ground.
No, I slept on my bed on the grounding mat and I wanted to get a full one.
My wife said, We're not getting a full one because you're going to electricate our whole family.
Only you are going to die.
And so I plugged it in.
I tried it out.
And so far, yo, your wife lets you do too much.
Yeah, this is the best.
That's why I said HRV is mad high, though.
That's why he mad.
He got no stress in his life.
Why does it do whatever the fuck you want?
Yeah, but you need a certain amount of stress to be a human being.
We're not built for no stress.
I agree.
You know what I mean?
Like, any human beings that have figured out how to not be stressed, they're in a really bad situation.
Is that true?
Yeah, look at them monks.
They seem like they're so happy.
Do they?
Yeah.
Just going like this all day against like the wooden things.
What is that?
Wayne chillin or whatever?
Those are not monks.
Wayne.
Karate Masters.
Just a different.
Yeah, same thing.
Wayne Tony's entire sheet of motherfuckers in like canal.
What I'm trying to say is he needs these guys.
You're talking about these guys.
All that shit.
Asian woman in the park.
Yeah.
Yeah, exactly.
All right.
Are you at least really on this shit?
Is it helpful to you?
Yeah, actually, I realize now I need to start taking sleep medication because it was just so bad.
So that's helped.
Wait, wait, are you taking sleep?
Yeah, it's gone up.
My last two days have been solid.
Six hours of sleep.
Melatonin?
No, trazodone, melatonin, child's play.
Oh, you're taking an antipsychotic.
I think it's an antidepressant.
So, yeah, I guess.
No, antipsychotic.
Trazodone's an antidepressant.
Pretty sure it's an antipsychotic.
It might be.
So it's like an SSRI.
It's a serotonin receptor antagonist.
So it's not like an antidepressant.
Nigga, are you good?
The fuck you are.
I'm working.
So maybe I've been depressed.
I didn't know it this whole time.
I thought I was happy.
Dressing up.
S-A-R-I.
Yeah.
So it's also.
Sorry.
Selective serotonin.
Reuptake inhibitors.
This is a serotonin antagonist and reuptake.
Yeah, so it just antagonizes the serotonin.
That does make sense.
I thought that's what wives do.
I need two negatives to make it a positive.
I think you just need a grounding man, bro.
I'll be honest.
Yeah, you're right.
I think you got to plug into the urban.
I'm sleeping, though.
No, just don't listen to your wife and do whatever the fuck you want.
It works.
Yeah, no, no.
No, no, that's not good.
Yeah, do that.
No, I need to do this.
I need more of this.
No, He's killing it right now.
Yeah, dude.
Why is your wife taking this?
She's so cool with everything.
Well, I've been drugging her.
SARI.
Vince McMahon did that.
That's actually a great idea.
You've never seen him so happy.
What is SARS?
Sorry.
Okay, Al, how is your shit going?
It's pretty good.
My sleep is shit, though.
I don't know why.
Yeah, you probably need to travel.
Wake up, feeling good.
Sleep score.
I wonder if that's 2,200.
Maybe you don't need as much.
Like, is it based?
Is there a baseline?
Yeah, they're saying I need more hours of sleep, but I feel good off for like five.
I get five straight hours.
I'm straight.
Really?
Yeah, I feel like.
And is it possible you're just a human being that needs less sleep?
Some human beings need less water.
I'm kind of retarded, so you never know.
I thought you slept a lot.
No, it's kind of like that.
It's whenever.
It's like whenever I feel like I want to sleep.
So like some nights, some nights is five, some nights it's ten.
Depending on what I got to do the next day, but I feel fully rested.
Insane to me that y'all could just be like, I want to go to sleep and then you're asleep.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, that's been five minutes.
You don't sleep on planes or anything?
Never.
Unless I'm laying.
If I'm laying, I can sleep.
Sitting upright, not going to happen.
Maybe 30 minutes.
Bro, non-fiction.
Reading non-fiction.
I'm telling you.
Reading nonfiction will put you to sleep.
Oh, yeah.
Whoop Gift Basket Risks00:03:16
Just try to do that.
Yeah.
Read it.
Livalov.
Knock out of the house.
Well, yeah, that is not fiction.
Nothing's historical account.
Respect.
All right.
Listen, this.
Here's the thing about this whoop stuff, guys.
Did I say that it gets you so much pussy?
Did I ever talk about that?
Yeah, you said you because I feel like I said that, and then maybe Mark's grandma was something.
Wait, was I doing this on her wrist?
Yo.
Oh, my God.
These girls go so crazy, bro.
I'm walking down the street.
I got my baby on my chest.
I got a whoop on my wrist.
They can't even handle it.
There's just fucking snail trails following me of girls just dripping down Tribeca.
But what if there's a married guy that wants to get a whoop and he doesn't want to be enticed?
Okay.
Is there another incentive for him?
I mean, if he sees mine, he might just start sucking some other guy's foot.
I thought you were going to say a gift basket.
Yeah, a gift basket is good.
Oh, my bad.
Yeah, there's a gift basket.
What's in the gift basket?
I mean, one lucky winner will win a gift basket.
From us.
You know, from Flagrant, no, for real.
Half a whoop from us.
But it is, in all seriousness, you're probably going to live longer in your life because we did this whoop challenge, which fucking enrages me.
Wait, you're going to live longer too.
Oh, yeah, that's good.
Yeah.
He's not doing that.
You know, just as long as his Bitcoin doesn't go up more than mine in our lifetime, that's the only thing that matters.
If we both tap out before your Bitcoin goes up and just skyrockets.
Okay, I'm into that.
That's fine.
That's fire.
We're the opposite of crypto chillers.
Like, don't buy Bitcoin.
Yeah.
Kill Bitcoin.
Okay.
No, but in all seriousness, like, yo, get your whoop on and just have these girls go and fucking queefs every the amount of queefs that I'll hear at like a cafe.
I literally, oh, let me just pay for something.
A little of the whoop comes out like that, and you just hear in the background.
I'm like, what kind of sound is that?
Just because I'm busting a whoop out that Barista made her fucking cream with that shit and then just put it right on cappuccino.
Honestly, the cappuccino art that I'm seeing is crazy.
Join.whoop.com slash flavor.
And if that's not enough, and a gift basket.
And a gift basket.
So you're getting crazy queefs.
You're getting girls creaming all over the place, snail trails when you're walking through Tribeca.
And one month faster than a gift.
And a one-month free trial.
One-month free trial.
And somebody gets a gift basket and queefs everywhere.
Low-key.
I'm like, if we tell anybody about this, then we potentially lose out the chance of getting a gift basket.
I know.
I know.
Yo, whoop, you got to send us a gift basket too.
Yeah, yeah, we got it.
We need gift baskets as well.
Honestly.
Well, we need what they got at the Gallagher show so that they don't get hit by the watermelon juice because that's what it's like walking down the street when you got a whoop on your wrist.
Join.whoop.com slash flagrant.
One lucky winner is going to win a gift basket from flagrant.
And every lucky man is going to get pussy.
Facts.
Everywhere, all day.
Let's get back to the show.
The only pushback I'll give on that is I don't think the ideas are pulled from just like out of the sky.
Like, I think they do actually observe what they deem is something like a problem or some type of inconsistency in America.
And like they are trying to throw a fix-up.
Yeah.
It's not just like racism is a problem, but they just take it to such a high level.
Race Theory and Meteor Studies00:11:00
Yeah, maybe I was too reductive of it, but 100%.
There is a problem.
They're trying to seek a solution for this problem.
It's like Freud.
Apparently, like 90% of Freud's shit is nonsense.
You know, Freud had his all this stuff with dreams and what dreams mean.
And like they did all this research on it.
And they're like, yeah, there's nothing to do with that kind of shit.
So, but he still threw it out there.
It was still published.
It's still being published now.
You can still read it.
So some of the theories that we have are going to be right and some of them aren't.
But when it becomes like a, when it's being educated to young, impressionable individuals without the confirmation that this is fact and this is how the world works and they're they're teaching it as if it is, what else are they supposed to believe?
They're not going, hey, this might be a theory.
They're going, this is how the world works, don't you agree?
If you don't agree, you might be racist.
You know what I mean.
That's a theory.
That's how I was educated in my Santa Barbara party school.
Dude, there was no critical race theory in my school at all.
I took a black studies class from a white guy whoa, that was fire, I remember he walked in.
He was like nothing here.
Everybody gets a day, you know.
I did take a black studies from a white dude, though.
I remember Chappelle SHOW did a sketch.
Genuinely.
Chappelle showed a sketch about like sorry to interrupt.
I literally went in there with all these like California like Santa Barbara kids that like never met a black person.
And I remember walking that room like, God, it was this, it was like when the Spanish kid goes in Spanish class.
That's how I felt.
Let me be adjunct.
Let me be a tutor.
I got you.
What y'all need to know?
Come over here for any questions.
Don't change the battery in the smoke detector.
Next.
What else?
What do you need to know?
Ask me about it.
Were you in that class with me, Doug?
No.
No.
We just took dance together.
Yeah.
We took history of dance together.
Doug's an e-comm, music label management, which is basically the same thing.
Yeah.
Okay, go.
We were saying that Chappelle showed the sketch where he did like how well do you know black people, and it was like a black barber, a black whatever.
And then there was a white guy who did black, like African-American studies.
This guy bodied every question.
It was so funny.
Like they asked him about the term chickenhead, and then he had like some very high-level, but very accurate definition of what chickenhead was.
So I said to say, white black studies teacher works out sometimes.
Right.
Because he, what is that?
There's another Chappelle joke also.
He goes, he got to work extra hard to get the respect of this black.
What that white dude did to get them black dudes respect.
You know, if you are a studies professor of a race you are not, you're getting grilled.
You're going hard.
Yeah.
You need an outsider sometimes.
Because who has the best takes about white people?
It's always a black guy.
Facts.
I was like, you notice white people say skedaddle.
I was like, I do say skedaddle.
How did he know that?
How did he know that about me?
That is true.
Yeah.
Best observers are like slightly outside their culture.
Yeah.
So this is the new critical race theory.
The only people that are allowed to make black jokes are non-blacks.
I like that.
I love that.
But we can't make white jokes.
Only you guys can.
And other non-whites.
I mean, we've been doing that already.
So there we go.
We have a deal.
And then we can all make Asian jokes.
Is that the idea behind this thing?
Except Asians.
You hear an Asian even utter an Asian joke.
You got to slip.
What about when they talk?
That feels like a similar joke to the way I can make it.
But it's about the delivery, okay?
They do deliver.
Yeah.
Exactly.
That's when they're talking about it.
That's when they deliver it.
Yeah.
Oh, man.
Those silly Asians.
Oh, they're so silly.
Hispanics really took over the fucking delivery service.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I don't see any more Asians delivering shit.
Because y'all were robbing them too much.
Yeah, you punch them in the subway.
All of a sudden, they're like, maybe it was working in an office.
It wasn't us.
No, you really were.
You were really bad.
You were really bad at this.
They were wearing your uniform.
You were literally wearing your jerseys.
Somebody would order Chinese food, and then they knew the order was coming, so they would rob the guy that was delivering the food.
We ain't doing it all the time.
But that was a very common occurrence.
It wasn't that common.
It was very common.
Stop with this critical race disc.
It was very common.
Do you ever feel like we need a new race?
Ugh, I've been trying to do this for so long.
We need a new one.
And then we just get rid of one that we didn't.
Okay, we all watched one.
That's not what happened.
No, no, no, we don't know.
No, we just replayed one that we don't like, and everybody's kind of like, no, we just add a new one.
And then, oh, I think we should add a new one.
Oh, just a completely different one.
Because we all started as black.
And then I think Asians kind of came in.
And then I think we got like Central American, dark kind of Mexican vibe.
Then we got Europeans and shit.
I don't believe that.
I don't buy this.
No, I don't believe that.
We started out as white.
You've been watching Graham Hancock.
We started out as white.
No, I can believe we all started off as black, but then the detour into Asian and then not looking at any Asian ever again.
No, the Asians are from somewhere else.
Or it's a concurrent timeline.
The Asians do not come from Africa, Enunaki.
It might be Enunaki, but or two meteors hit the, I almost called the world the United States of America.
I almost called it the United States of America.
You ever see a globe that's dominated?
You're gonna make the world the United States of America.
Every now and again, you see a globe that doesn't have America in the middle.
You go, what the fuck is that?
What is that planet?
I don't get it.
I've never seen that planet in my life.
Uh-uh.
But what Elon should look into from this episode of Ancient Apocalypse hit the United States of America at the same time or the world, as some people call it.
Two meteors.
And in different parts, two meteors hit and struck each other at the same exact time.
One created those big dick dark-skinned people.
The other one created this.
They would roam the earth, barely seeing it for millions of years.
One day.
They crossed the land.
They would cross a land bridge and turn into Mexicans, the hardest working of all of the alien species.
They would build great structures down in El Salvador.
So the medica that white people would marvel at for generations.
Yeah.
While they have skyscrapers in their own cities.
Yeah.
I don't know why my hands are still like that.
Oh, these are the meteors.
Yeah, I think that's really the history of men.
Yeah, yeah.
Mexicans were Asians.
I can believe that.
They work hard.
You know what I mean?
Boom.
Yeah.
Boom.
So then where do whites come from?
Kevin, I think that's one explanation.
I do think it's one explanation we should look into.
I think it's one.
There's another one.
There's another equal answer.
Where did the Jews come from?
I don't want to really get into that because it's more of a political discussion.
But I don't want to rile people up on the internet, right?
Gringots.
But I think we do know where they come from.
We do know where they're going.
Chased out every place they go.
That's great.
That is.
Somebody said the funniest joke they said.
You know, because Jews have been literally kicked out of every single country that they've been in outside of America.
I think literally every single country, they've been rounded up and kicked out of it.
It's still time.
And there's okay.
And go, go.
And this is often something.
They're new as fire.
No, no, no.
This is true.
They haven't worn over.
But this is something that you hear a lot.
And it's something Jews talk about a lot to explain the victimization they've went through for thousands of years.
And somebody said, somebody said, hey, if your friend got kicked out of every bar that he ever went in, would you be like, man, them bars are fucked up?
Oh, my God.
Now, as I'm saying that, I realize that Al, how right your friend was.
No, that Al got kicked out of a bar in Sweden.
One.
Only once.
He might have been kicked out of multiple if it was a different time in America.
That's a good one.
And that would mean the bars were wrong.
Not Al.
Boy, two.
Can be wrong.
Yeah, he was probably trying to try to fuck white women.
Yeah, he's probably trying to take his ugly black dick and a white handful of women.
Why is it an ugly?
Disgusting black dick.
I got a clean dick.
Yo.
Yeah.
Yeah, brother, brother.
Nice and smooth over here.
So sometimes there is a color thing that happens.
You know, like from the foreskin, when it gets circumcised, it gets like Neapolitan.
Is that yours or no?
Yo, does your dick multiple colors?
Have you guys not noticed that with black guys' dicks?
How many colors does your dick have seen?
How hard are you looking at dicks, bro?
Not hard, but you notice they're the easiest to see.
Did I tell you the Nigerian brothers that beat up Jesse Smiley DM me?
Yay, I sent that to the group.
That's fire.
Damn.
And what did you say back?
I didn't say nothing.
Come on, bro.
What did they say in the DM?
Bro, this shit is too funny.
It was awesome.
Shells can't respond to that.
They beat up gay people, dude.
What did he do next?
You don't want to risk it.
That's fair.
Fuck, I sent it to the group, didn't I?
Yeah.
It's basically a conspiracy theory that Jesse Smillay is related to Kamala Harris.
No.
Oh, I love this.
I think they were saying they were trying to contact.
Great day.
It's the Osundairo brothers.
The Nigerian brothers.
They were involved in the hoax Justice Millay perpetrated.
We have some compelling info that the people and President Trump would love to know.
Info that shows that Justice Millay may not have acted alone and that some very high-ranking political figures may have put him up to it.
We'll love to connect and see what you think.
Honestly, just reading that now, like, how do we not have them on the podcast?
This would be trouble immediately.
Hell, yeah.
You don't want black guests on the pod.
Come on, bro.
Nope.
Also, shout out to Dr. Umar.
We're down to have Dr. Umar on, but he says he only wants to do a one-on-one with me.
Why doesn't he want to talk to Alex?
I know.
That's crazy.
You know what?
I think this is what it is.
I think he thinks that I want to hold him to the fire.
I want to take him to task.
I need to communicate with him where I'm just like, yo, we just want to have fun.
And we think that you're hilarious.
And you can talk about whatever you want.
And we're just going to joke around.
He's insanely funny.
Yeah.
I'll give you his numbers.
Shoot.
Honestly, can you put us on group touch?
Text him right now.
I already get where he's coming from, where he's like, I'm going to be bombarded and they're all going to be attacking me.
And that is not the environment at all.
But I don't want to do it if you guys aren't there.
I think it's fun to have him on Flagrant and we just have a grand old time.
Coffeezilla Grift Legal Loopholes00:15:07
Yeah.
Election special with Dr. Umar Johnson.
That is fat.
The election special with Dr. The Elections.
You got to say it four times.
The election special with Dr. Umar.
A butter pecan queens, my vanilla sweet cream queens.
Yeah, you just say different food.
My funnel cake queens.
My funnel cake queens to Mexicans.
Okay.
What else we got, y'all?
Oh, Elon giving out bread, but we can't get none.
Yeah.
Yeah, what is this?
I looked into it a little bit because it's going on in all the battleground states and my family lives in Pennsylvania.
So I'm like, yo, I'll go get that money.
Same.
I told my wife.
Hell, really?
Yeah.
That's funny.
Whoa, she votes in Philly?
Oh, okay.
But so is it legal?
Is it not legal?
That's what's being discussed.
You can't pay for people to register to vote, but he's doing a referral program.
So if you refer somebody, you get paid, I think, $47 to refer somebody to go register to vote.
That's how he's getting around the legal loophole of things.
So how do they prove that that person has registered?
That they're probably just taking their word for it or something like that.
Or saying, hey, this person registered to vote.
And now if that person now is on the registry, they can confirm it that way.
And then the money gets sent.
Yeah.
So that's one way they're giving out money.
They're also giving out $100 to any person to sign the petition that just says, I believe in the First and Second Amendment.
That's all it is.
But why is that important?
The only people that qualify are people who are registered to vote.
Oh, God.
So I understand what that does.
Like, walk me down what that means.
What that gets them involved.
It gets them to register to vote.
They're incentivizing registration.
Yes.
But they can't say that they're incentivizing or paying for registration.
So it's like, hey, I'm paying you to just sign this position, petition, but order to sign the petition, you have to be registered to vote.
So that's why this shit is a load.
It's just, that's still easier than voting and like mailing something.
I just got to go online.
I think the idea is like increasing registrations will increase attendance.
Yes.
Because a lot of people get to the point where they want to vote and they're like, oh, wait, I had to register tomorrow and I missed it.
It's crazy.
I usually pretend I want to vote and I do all that stuff.
Only like 50 to 60% of Americans vote.
We have the lowest voter turnout in any Western country.
You're fucking horrible.
Are you voting?
Have you decided who you're voting for?
Yeah.
You already know?
He's very reluctant.
He consents.
He's not happy about voting for you.
Study for this?
Yeah, I'm voting on Bone Trunk, guys.
Bone Trunk.
Red Hat.
Clip it.
They put me in an ad out.
Crazy.
Oh, well, you got paid $50,000.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Did we talk about that?
No.
We talked about that on Brilliant Day.
I was joking around when I said that they paid me a $50,000 licensing fee.
There is no licensing fee for using your podcast content in an ad.
Maybe there should be.
I don't know.
But these fucking retard journalists that need a story about everything have a story out there with the headline: comedian Andrew Schultz gets paid $50,000 by Kamala campaign to use his likeness in an ad.
And it says he's donating it to the Donald Trump campaign or whatever.
It's fire.
I mean, it's just.
That's fire.
So where'd you get the donate?
Let's make another highlight.
Another highlight.
I will be donating Alex's entire salary to the Kamala Harris campaign because I know that that's.
He's not getting much, man.
But I know that that's where he would want that money to go.
That is the most important place for it.
Obviously, he's making trillions of dollars over there at WTF.
He doesn't need this money.
What's more important is that he maintains democracy.
Obviously, with your cosine.
I love democracy.
You know what?
I cosign.
I cosine.
I'm doing it.
We're doing it.
We're doing it.
It's been co-signed.
And that, you know, your word is your bond.
Clip it.
Yeah.
And honestly, that is a beautiful thing that you would do that.
It's a democracy.
Hey, you know what?
If she loses, don't worry about it.
We'll just pay you anyway.
Is that a good thing?
I think so.
Yeah.
So if she wins, you don't get paid.
If she loses, you get paid.
Okay.
Coffee going at Tate.
Yeah, so I was looking into this.
That's a dangerous man at CoffeeZilla.
Oh, yeah.
You don't want him.
Yeah, you don't want him on.
If he puts the suspenders on, your ass is toast.
Have you seen that million dollar studio, bro?
It's a problem.
So I think five, six days ago, Andrew Tate just starts going off on CoffeeZilla.
And I'll get to what he said, but he shows an email.
Coffeezilla says, Hey, I'm doing an investigation on you and your relationship with crypto.
Would you mind answering these questions for me?
Also, if you can answer them quickly, I would love to put your response in the video.
And it's fairly clear from the questions that CoffeeZilla got him dead to rights.
So he's not very happy about it.
And the reason he's questioning him is Andrew Tate has always been very anti-like shitcoin in particular.
He didn't really say much about Bitcoin or Ethereum or that, but like these shit coins, he's adamantly opposed to it.
I'll never do it.
I don't need to rob my fans.
All this shit he'll say.
He'll say, like, you know, hey, let's say you gas up a shit coin at 10 cents and one of your, if you get one of your fans to buy it, he might make money if you sell it for $10, but that still, that guy that bought it for $10 is going to lose money.
And that guy's probably an Andrew Tate fan.
So I would never rob my fans like that.
Then all of a sudden, he just starts saying, you know what the problem was with these coins?
It's never done right.
I'm going to change crypto.
I'm going to make sure it's done correctly.
Before, it's always these rug pulls and these scams and people stay anonymous like pussies.
I'm changing that.
And then he starts advertising this coin called Roost, this shit coin.
He's doing like ads for it.
There's flyers all over the place.
All of a sudden, he's putting it in his live streams.
And sure enough, everything that he said was going to change about crypto does not change with a Roost.
It goes up and then drops by 90%.
The wallet that all the money is being held in gets hacked.
And the guy who was holding the Roost coin wallet was anonymous.
So everything that he said he didn't like about crypto and he was going to change immediately.
So it got hacked.
Yeah.
In other words, they may or may not have rug pulled.
Oh, yeah.
Very yeah.
We don't know for a fact that they rug pulled, but I think that's what Coffeezilla's alluding to.
Well, I was saying, he's saying I think the rug pull is just a 90% crash in the price.
But yeah, that's also good.
Yeah, but rug pulls when you pull your money out before.
Okay, so yeah, so those guys got scammed.
The idea with the rug pull is you boost up the coin, pump it, and then it's anonymous.
So yeah, how do you but the hacking is interesting because that's a really smart way of looking at it if you want to do something shisty because what you're essentially doing is you're not taking any accountability for the fact that it was pulled and they can't follow that money anywhere.
Oh, he's not dumb.
This guy, this guy Tati.
He's going to stay dumb as he's very sane in how he makes his money.
He also suddenly starts advertising all these other coins.
So he'll have tweets.
It's like, I will never, never endorse a crypto.
But then he's endorsing like a daddy coin, some shit coin, some fuck Madonna coin, shit coin.
And then somebody responds to one of his quote tweets, his tweets saying, I will never endorse crypto.
I'll never get paid for promotion.
The guy goes, hey, man, we both literally got paid to promote the same crypto.
I know for a fact you got paid almost a million dollars to promote this crypto, to pump this crypto.
And then someone leaks a screenshot of him saying to him, I tried to get Baron to give me the Trump coin at a discounted price so I could pump up the price for him.
So like, clearly he's in it.
But then Coffeezilla is saying his big like kind of scammy thing is what he's doing with his own crypto.
I think the coin is called the real world, but I know it's tied into what Hustler's University, he changed the name to the real world, that educational platform.
And this is fucking smart, dude.
You know, the main problem with a subscription service, especially an expensive one, $50 a month, is churn.
People will subscribe and unsubscribe.
So Tate's been trying to find ways to keep people in.
How do you get them to not unsubscribe for $50 a month?
I don't want to lose that money.
So what he does is he creates this crypto coin and he says, you guys who have this crypto will get dividends from the real world education service.
And you can move up and rank the more crypto you have.
And it's all based on chess, obviously.
Pawn, Knight, Bishop, Rook, and King.
And what a few commenters pointed out is very funny.
He left out Queen.
The Queen, the most powerful piece, but he's got such a fucking loser man thing that he makes the King the top.
And the King is arguably the most useless piece on the chess.
Like you can't even stack, you can sacrifice a pawn.
A king, you got to fucking move everything around for this weak bitch.
But then he says, this is what's smart.
He goes, if you unsubscribe from the real world education service at all, you lose all of your PowerPoints, all of your ranking, and you start getting a smaller percentage of your crypto from the dividends.
You go from, if you're a rook, it don't, if you're a king, it don't matter.
You drop all the way back down to pawn if you unsubscribe for one month.
So now he makes money on the crypto.
And he maintains the subscription.
What is he?
How do they get paid with the dividends?
How does that work?
So I guess he just, and then that's up to him, really, based on how much crypto you have, he decides what percentage of dividends you get paid.
Because what are the other dividends like from the hustle, from the money he makes from?
So let's say Hustlers University, the real world, let's say it's making a million dollars a month.
You get some prescription or some percentage of that million dollar a month.
There's still a subscription fee.
Yeah.
And on top of the subscription fee, you also buy these fake crypto coins that they just created.
And that just determines what percentage people are.
You're spending $50 a month, but you could be making $10 back.
He says you can make $500 a month back or whatever.
And it's the same thing as what he did last time.
It's like they make money by getting other people assigned to it.
It's the same MLM, and then he does a nice little graphic, Coffeezilla, of like low-rank, high-rank king.
And then the high-ranking makes a lot of money from it.
And it's just another, it's just another pyramid.
And then here's what's even, this is how much this guy's, how good he is at making money.
Even when he responds to Coffee, what he says, he leaks CoffeeZilla's email on his live stream or whatever and says, everybody email him.
And this is actually funny to me because I call him gay.
And for every person that emails Coffeezilla and calls him gay, I will buy more daddy coin.
And what that's going to do is probably inflate the price of daddy coin.
And if you're a guy being like, oh, Andrew Tate is so popular.
I should buy more daddy coin because he's going to buy a bunch of daddy coin.
That increases the price.
And then he can sell that.
And then when it plummets, who gives a fuck?
He makes money at every turn doing this.
Yeah.
He also said, oh, for every dislike on CoffeeZilla's video, I'll buy some more daddy coin.
And this is what's going to drive him crazy, dog.
If you look at the comments on Coffee's video, it's overwhelming.
I don't see a single negative comment.
So I don't think Tate has the pull and power and influence that he used to.
And that alone will drive him insane.
He might still have it, but it definitely ain't what it was two, three years ago.
Even on YouTube, it's not that?
Dude, on YouTube, if you look at the comments, unless they're going to deleting them right now.
They're probably over on Rumble, right?
They can't stream on YouTube.
But they can all go to YouTube and just leave a shave comment.
Yeah, but you can block for negative comments.
Yeah, maybe.
Also, I think Coffee's audience are probably people that hate scams and shit.
Well, I would just think the Tate crowd would make its way up.
Yeah.
Like that had the most dislikes of any other Coffee video.
So it worked a little bit, but it was only, I think, when I checked 1,400 dislikes.
So not much.
That's why.
But still more than any other video.
So 1,400, you would think if you're if Trump said go dislike a coffee video, it's getting disliked.
You know what I mean?
Where does he pivot to?
Because now, like, the Manosphere thing is drying up.
Like, just yelling at women on a podcast thing is kind of over.
Yeah.
It seems like the online discourse, the grifters have definitely shifted to like the Manosphere grifters have definitely shifted to Israel, Palestine.
And they're just like, rah, rah, rah, Palestine.
Like they are beating their chest.
Fuck the Jews.
And they're doing it like the most toxic way.
So as toxic as they were with the women, they are towards Jews.
Yeah.
It's annoying because they don't really give a fuck about Palestine.
They're just doing the same thing.
They just need something for views.
And then if you actually want Palestine to have any, you're just every person who's Jewish is like, look how much anti-Semitism.
And there's actual huge disservice to the Palestinian movement by just conflating it with Jews in general because their conversation, to get that same stickiness, they have to make it about all Jews.
The Jewish people misses what they do.
Exactly.
Because the nuance is not what people go to them for anyway.
Yeah.
And so, yeah, so that, so I guess the manosphere kind of drives up.
What is the?
Yeah, I mean, to be honest, I think that's why he converted to Islam.
It's just another grift.
He saw the grift, huh?
He just saw it in advance.
Like, yeah, that's what annoyed me about the whole thing.
I think this guy's just grift to grift to grift.
You could just be a funny person who can kick someone's ass.
You know what I mean?
You could probably make a decent amount of money doing that.
Yeah.
But it's just grift to grift to grift.
Yeah, I think his next thing will be a gold sneaker.
It seems to be a trend.
Steaks.
Why should you talk about our president?
Yeah, for real, bro.
Watch your fucking mouth, man.
What happened with his lawsuits?
That's your president, too.
Yeah, you're voting for him.
Where's your sneaks?
I don't see none of y'all boy's sneaks.
They were sold out.
Yeah, my story was sold.
I keep mine in a glass case.
That's actually a great, great point.
That's a good thing to do.
That's respect.
What happened with his lawsuits?
Yeah, do you know what happened with his like the sex trafficking shit?
He got arrested by Romanian officials.
Still under investigation.
He got new charges.
Even more.
But they can't get anything to stick.
No, I think they're still building case.
Like nothing has been dropped yet.
Are you sure?
I think the initial ones were dropped.
No.
Coffee talked about this at the beginning of his video, too.
There's like definitionally what he describes himself as having done is a form of sex trafficking where he says like, I get girls who fall in love with me.
And then I get them to do like webcam shit.
And then I think give them new sexual things that they might not want to do if they didn't love me.
And that is a form of, I think, sweetheart.
There's some term that is used as like a, this is a form of sex trafficking.
Right.
You got to prove you actually did that.
He could have just be sick.
He could just be talking shit on a podcast to get views.
That's the other thing.
Obviously, it feels like the Justice Department out there in Romania is going after him.
Now, they might be going after him because he did some illegal shit.
They might be going after him because they're like, why are we harboring this dude?
That is kind of making us look foolish and making it look like you can do whatever the fuck you want in our country and we're a respectable place and we have dignity and laws, and this guy is running around in fancy cars, smoking cigars, saying the word corrupts, you can buy the legal system.
Yeah, it's kind of insulting and like if you're doing that, you could do that in America.
You could talk all the you want in America right, and probably things won't go that bad for you.
Maybe if you're in politics, you have to deal with some shakedown.
Yeah, but Tate will be like sec you, i'm a scammer.
Like he's just taunting these motherfuckers.
Yeah, and you do that in Romania and they go.
Well, we'll see about that yeah, yeah.
Have you ever seen the guy that invented the ponzi scheme?
Liam Payne Cocaine Addiction00:02:13
Have you ever seen this?
Does he look like me?
He looks exactly like you.
Damn it.
Have you never?
Have we never talked about this?
Damn it.
I look like every white old person.
Look at that guy.
It's kind of similar.
He actually looks more like Aaron Rogers to me than anything.
He looks like Dove.
That's Anti-semitic.
You're marking Grifton, Bro.
Why are you always doing that?
Why are you jumping on you?
And Dove had a baby.
That's, that's it.
Oh yeah, who's that?
This is hilarious.
This is Simon Cowell.
No, this is not about the Liam Payne thing.
Yeah, I guess we could start on this if you'd like to.
So Liam Payne unfortunately, has passed away in Buenosaurus.
All right, Simon Cowell obviously, the person that put together one direction, the boy band, one of the most successful boy bands of all time um, a couple days prior to had posted this, and now all of the comments that were on this video were just harassing him.
Uh, but this is when you found out that Liam Payne had passed away when you went to Simon Cowell's this year.
Happy birthday to me.
Happy birthday, dear Simon.
Happy birthday to me, and that's why I decided never to be a singer.
I'm now at an age where, when you say how old you are, people clap and that's depressing.
However, i'm alive, i'm healthy, i'm happy and thank you everyone for your kind messages.
Take care till next year bye-bye.
All the comments are like, you have blood in your hands, you killed Liam Payne, they're going off on Jesus and uh yeah yeah, basically people.
It's not a great look.
I mean, it's unfortunate he put out a statement since basically being like, my heart is broken, like this young boy that I met, that I tried to give the world has now fallen prey to, you know, addiction and shit like that.
Oh, is that the issue with him?
He was on drugs.
That's what it seems like.
Yeah, all the evidence points to that.
They found what they call pink cocaine in his system yeah, which apparently is not cocaine at all.
What is?
It's just like meth basically, like everything i've read is like there's no real definition exactly what pink cocaine is like.
There's a ton of different explanations for like, what's in it, and then people call it tussie, even though it doesn't really have the same make it as Tussie.
It's like no one really knows what the fuck it is and what exactly he was on.
Pink Cocaine Deadbeat Parents00:03:11
How do you do it?
What does it do to you?
I thought it was supposed to be coconut.
That's what Tussie is.
Definitional mark.
You don't have any uh zyn.
I just have.
I just have two sea on me.
That's all I have.
You don't have any zyns though.
No no, i'm fresh out, Jesus.
I'm off that, bro.
Ever since I became a deadbeat, i'm.
I don't do that anymore.
You're not a deadbeat, are you actually a deadbeat?
I think you're hanging out with your kid all the time.
I got a deadbeat kid, bro.
He doesn't want to ever kick with me.
That's really what it is.
We could talk about deadbeat parents.
Never talk about deadbeat kids.
You don't want to call their dad, hang out with them this up, right?
Oh, maybe that was me.
That's what i'm saying.
Why don't kids ever take accountability?
This is fucked up.
You know what I mean, Cries when I hold him, I walk around with him.
That actually is very patronizing.
When you walk around with your kid and people look at you and they're like, What are you doing with him?
You know what I mean?
Like, it's very, it's like infantilizing.
They look at me, they're like, You're not supposed to have a kid.
And then they treat you like, oh, yeah, you're in New York.
Yeah, so people look at you and they're like, Oh, that's so like, you guys.
No, they probably are because they think you're gay.
So they're like, It could be a male thing.
Like, you never see men with kids.
Like, I went to the park with Shiloh, and people look at me like I was weird.
Did I tell you this?
No.
No.
They're like, Did he capture that kid?
Like, it's just, you don't see the only men you see with kids are grandparents.
So they see me with my daughter, who's too young to even be at the park.
And they're like, what the fuck is going on here?
That's what people do to me.
They're like, where's the mom?
Yeah.
Why is it?
What?
Why does it matter, bro?
Dads don't really be with their kids, bro.
They'll be with their wife and their kid, but just dad and kid is a rare sighting.
Yeah.
You don't realize it until you've got one.
You're looking for other ones and they're nowhere to be found.
It's a peculiar thing.
But the amount of attention you guys is insane.
I mean, shut down the park.
Shut it down.
I feel like I was fucking one direction, dude.
People walking up to you.
Like, they want to see the kid.
They're like asking you questions.
Why are you going on all these walks alone?
Yeah.
Get your shit off, Mark.
I'm promoting the shit off.
My shirt is completely off.
I'm not wearing pants.
I'm walking around with the kid tied up.
I look great.
Just fucking stop.
I can't get the attention on stage.
All I'm going to get is attention.
That's what I'm saying, bro.
My girl says you can't go out.
I'm like, oh, watch me.
Watch.
I'm going to get my numbers.
I see.
I see.
But yeah, they treat you like you're not supposed to have a kid.
It's annoying.
People immediately trust you.
Yeah.
Well, me and my brother did that.
We were walking around Brooklyn and we had the stroller, but there was no kid in it because my wife had the kid and she was with my sister-in-law doing shopping and shit.
Yeah.
And we walked around with a stroller and the whole world opened up.
Yeah.
We were like trying to pop into like an outside cafe thing.
We're like, make room.
We'll get you a table right away.
They'll grab a table, put it out there.
They thought we were just a young gay couple.
Walking around with our baby.
And they were like, there were women that were like, oh, is there anyone sitting here?
And they're like, yeah, we just sat down, but you can join us.
And we're like, what?
Never in my life had people been like, oh, yeah, just sit at our table.
Like, women were like, so disarming.
You must be a good person.
You're taking care of a child.
And the gay thing I didn't even consider.
That's a double in Williams.
Yeah, it's insane.
Oh, that's why you can sit with them.
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, okay, I got it.
A couple of gay guys walking around with their stroller.
Dude, have you met his brother?
I haven't, but they talked to Mike.
This sounds awesome.
Yeah, Mike is great.
He sounds all of his family's great.
He's the least great.
Gay Couple Cafe Misunderstanding00:15:03
Thank you.
That is true.
That's the point I fucking made.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That is 100%.
That's what Miles said.
Is it open news about your sis?
Miles' heart, heartbreaking?
Yeah.
It's open.
Yeah.
So Miles is crushed.
He's not the father.
Yeah.
Got crushed by somebody else and she's pregnant.
With all due respect.
With all due respect.
Yeah.
Miles' crush got crushed by someone else with all due respect, planted a seed, and it's been growing.
Fully pregnant.
Yeah, but I would hit it out the park with all due respect.
Miles is back.
Miles is back.
He was listening.
You were listening.
He was listening to me.
Damn.
Sorry.
Wow, man.
That's a mother you're talking about.
I know.
It's crazy.
Yeah.
Damn.
Good for you.
In the state of Florida, mother.
What do you mean?
It depends on where you are.
Yeah.
Because there's still time.
How many months?
I think she's four months.
Oh, there's still a lot of time.
This is brand.
Louis, there's still time.
Yeah, everyone's got kids.
Everyone else still.
Is she still with the baby daddy?
Yeah.
Oh, okay.
I was going to be like, it's not over for Miles.
Oh, they're getting married now.
Wait, do they're not going to be able to get it going to get married or they can't?
Do you want to pull a Cardi?
What would Cardi do?
Wait, what do you mean?
Knock, knock, knock.
Yeah.
What would Cardi do?
With all due respect.
What would Cardi?
Cardi B?
What would Cardi B do?
When her and offset were beefing ocean, where would Cardi be?
Where would Cardi be?
Yeah, she cheated with the kid in her?
Apparently, eight months.
That's crazy.
That's the camel.
You never took the camel for a ride?
Crazy.
Miles, you cannot take out the camel.
Miles, I got my one joke off.
I'm all good.
Say what?
I got my one joke off.
I'm all good.
Jerk off.
Oh, my God.
I want jerk off.
That's crazy.
That is fucking monstrous.
You're a monster.
You know who she's rumored to have slept with.
Cardi B. Cardi, Cardi.
Stephon Diggs.
Yeah, Stephon Diggs.
Have you seen that?
This could be our state segment.
Have you seen the thing where they ask a bunch of players in the Vikings locker room who's the one player, teammate you wouldn't want your sister to sleep with?
And everyone says, Every single one says Stefan Diggs.
And Stephon Diggs is like, me?
What?
I'm a good guy.
Which lets me know you ain't shit.
Every guy knows who ain't shit.
Everybody says any shit.
And they're like, I'm a good guy.
You ain't shit.
Dove, you're a good guy.
I'm a great guy.
See?
Case in point.
I'm a good guy, too.
Damn.
I've never slept with Mark Sisters.
You're a great guy.
You're one of the best guys I know.
Man, they're probably too old.
That's a good point.
Oh, you got to get him upset.
Don't go there.
Can we just correct one thing for the record?
Dove has sex with old women.
Yeah.
He doesn't have sex with young, beautiful women.
He mostly has sex with old, wrinkly, fat Chinese women.
Just masseuses, not even on canal, off canal.
Whoa.
On like Broadway.
Off canal, masseuse.
On like East Broadway or Mott Street, just something weird, some crooked-ass street, some just hefty-backed Chinese lady.
That's who he's fucking.
So stop getting this idea that he's out there having sex with young, beautiful women.
I know he's so offended whenever we say that.
Yeah, he gets offended.
Uh-uh.
Do you want to correct the record?
Is that age-appropriate?
That's what I just.
What does that mean?
Old.
45.
40, 45.
I grow older.
It moves forward.
That's every human being on earth.
So now you're sleeping with what, more like 35-year-old women.
That's great.
When was the last woman that was in 30?
What was the last one?
In dog years.
Turn this away.
Turn this away in dog years.
Hold on.
What was the last girl in her 30s?
That's such an easy joke.
Look at this day.
Let's go.
The rooster.
Mark the Kramer.
The rooster.
Listen.
Martin missed Shifty's birthday going on some fucking spot in the city.
What is happening?
What is happening?
I can't believe you posted that in the night of Shifty's burden.
She was posting a spot in the middle of Brooklyn.
Come on, baby.
Shifty.
The nukes is going up.
He's really dropping those nukes.
Who was the last girl under 35 that you slept with?
Sorry.
The last girl over 35 you slept with.
Or 35.
Well, yeah.
I've been celibate for a while as I reinvent myself as a God-fearing man.
No, Doug has never slept with a girl who's over 35 years old.
Wow.
Never?
I have.
No, you haven't.
Absolutely.
No, no, not 35 now.
Who was the last girl you slept with that's over 30?
Yes.
The answer is yes.
I'm not naming names, but the answer is yes.
Who's her name?
When?
I've been in months in this calendar year.
What was her name?
I'm not going to name it.
No, those are the things that we got.
Brazilians are in their 20s.
Those Brazilians are in their 20s.
Oh, yeah.
Those Brazilians are not even touching 30.
They might not even be touching 20.
We put on blues clues.
They were kind of like bored.
I know they don't, but I was there.
I just gave them an iPad and I started putting something.
And she was like, she was just scrolling by pads, so excited and happy.
It was either that or just listening to her talk.
That's what you feel about Brazilians.
No, I love Brazilians.
I think Brazil.
I think we all love Brazilians.
Brazilian female accent right now.
This is a female Brazilian female.
Give me a situation.
Give me what are they doing?
Female Brazilian doing.
You're welcoming Dr. Umar on the couch with the rest of the flagrant squad.
Hello, Dr. Umu.
Thank you for going to a poke.
Thank you for coming to the poke and have a talk with us on the poke.
Flavor is poke with jokes and a baby paints.
Something we make jokes on the poke is baby babe.
That's a pretty good dude.
That seems spot on.
Chamba.
Yeah.
Chama.
Good cash.
Dude, who is that, David?
Yeah.
What a ledge that guy, David, is.
Shout out to.
Oh, I might have found you an assistant.
Who?
A girl.
David knows her.
Oh, no.
Do we want that, though?
Was that a milestone?
No, no, like 13.
Not like that.
Like in the bimbo sense?
Like, whoa.
That's fucked up right there.
That was fucked up.
Who do you think slept with more attractive women in your lives?
Miles.
Or you.
You.
That was really good.
That was really smart.
I also agree with David.
Somehow he did trickery.
Who do you think is better in bed?
Ooh.
Miles.
Yeah, probably Miles.
I think Miles, because he's more like anxious.
He wants to them to feel happy.
Yeah, yeah.
He would make her come and then check if she did.
But Dove will think he's better afterwards.
Like, Dove will come on a girl's head and then be like, man, that was the best sex there.
What did you say last night at dinner?
You just said Dove has body amorphia.
Oh, yeah.
What's the opposite?
What's the opposite of dysmorphia?
Is that amorphous?
Like, he looks at himself and he'd be like, damn, I'm shredded.
More than you?
No, but you look like Jasmine's dad.
It ain't built like Jasmine's dad.
Get that little motherfucker up.
So you have amorphia, body amorphia.
Or you never had abs.
Not once.
I did have abs.
You saw me when I did the fight night.
Never.
I did have abs from fight night.
That's your body.
That's your body and that's your life.
Yeah, that's crazy.
That's your body and that's your life.
Yeah.
Bro.
The nose is accurate.
You could have a beard like that.
You would have a beautiful beard.
Oh my gosh.
If you blew out a big beard like that, it would be beautiful, Dove.
Yeah, I let myself go like that.
Yeah, 100%.
The lack of jolly.
I mean, Alex is dressed like him right now.
Who?
Stand up, Alex.
Oh, you do got some weird pants.
Swag, right?
I like these.
Thank you.
Prince Ali Fabi.
Now I'm back on.
What is up with them?
Yeah, like we should talk about this.
They're like shorts inside of shorts.
Dove is the king of getting this shit.
I know he's good.
But no, but off of me.
But no, no, no.
We didn't talk about it because I didn't really even look and see the shorts.
But like this shorts.
The jersey is cool.
I get it.
Yeah.
You know, I get it.
I get it.
You want everybody to know.
Give them the fight fight.
Yeah.
Give them the fight fight.
Hair is looking good.
But the bottom half is just a peculiar thing.
I just like them.
I saw them.
They look unique.
Where'd you see them?
What store did you have to go to get a game?
Oh, I went to Timu.
No, no, yeah, I tried it out from the first time.
And can you explain Timu to I don't really know what it is?
I thought it's like Amazon for China, right?
Yeah, I guess it is.
Yeah.
Because you can buy a diamond-making machine for $200,000 on Timu.
Wait, what?
Yeah, it makes fake diamonds.
Real diamonds that are brandmade, laugh.
Get the fuck out of here.
That's crazy.
But yeah, I tried it for the first time.
These were 12 bucks.
Wow.
Well, highs and lows, baby.
Al, your balls are showing though.
I could tuck it.
He's getting a little chubby over there.
Yeah, a little bit.
All right.
Abercrombie?
Abercrombie.
Why is he in pain?
Why were you looking at his balls?
They're just hanging out.
Because the sperm is young enough for you to fuck with me.
We back women.
Wow.
Just what I thought.
Just for that.
There was nowhere else to go.
I mean, we found a way.
Speaking of what we really wanted to do.
I really want this shit all over Al's outfit, but none of y'all were jumping on board with me.
Yeah, no, I was trying to find an angle that would protect me.
You know what I mean?
He's like, yeah, but you got neutral today.
You're chilling.
Yeah, you're good.
Y'all be taking no risk, man.
Y'all be afraid.
It is what it is.
I feel you.
I feel you.
Al does come every week.
Yeah.
No one there's gonna be a bull's eye.
Every week.
He don't miss a week without wearing some retarded shorts.
Let's go.
Let's go.
Fuck you, Al.
That's because you want it.
You want us to tease your shorts.
I'm not gonna say that.
That shit is fire.
I think your shorts are great.
I think they're awesome.
Thank you.
They are awesome.
They're fucking one of some of the best shorts I ever seen in my entire life.
Exactly.
Yeah, you go.
At what point does it stop?
No, it doesn't stop.
No, it doesn't stop.
So I'm just curious at 40.
These are cool pirate shorts for his peg legs.
Come on, bro.
Come on.
Get the fuck out of here.
We're back.
Come on.
Ask more questions.
I just find something good.
40.
So, you know, are you going to be doing this at 40?
No, no, no.
I like dressing however the fuck I want to dress.
He's going to keep dressing like that until the bitch moves out the way.
Move, bitch.
Get off.
Oh, yeah.
I thought that was good.
I ain't explaining it to him, motherfucker.
So you explained it to us.
Don't talk on your team.
Yeah, I didn't try to recruit.
God damn.
You're trying to push it back to me.
No, no, I'm trying to recruit.
Come on, we saved team.
Okay.
Black and Jews.
After a recent Patreon episode where Mark and I won in beer pong, we could pick outfits for you.
Cheated in beer pong.
How does this happen?
How did you cheat?
You made more than they made.
I never played it.
I never played it before.
Yeah, we won.
It was crazy.
I never played it before.
Al hits the last ball, and I'm like, that's it.
We won.
I just throw the ball down.
They're like, no, no, no.
That counts as a shit.
It hit the table.
It did hit the table.
He tried to bounce it in.
There is nothing.
There's something after you get the last one if your teammate still has a ball redemption.
Yeah, he has to also try to get it in and they can slow the game.
Yeah, they could have celebrated and threw it.
This is a bastardization of the game.
This never existed when our generation.
So they cheated.
They did bounce out.
So I didn't know.
He dropped the football before he got in the end zone.
He was like, no, it was basically that.
No, you created a tough game going.
You created a cool.
No, this is.
There was no three-point line when I played.
Oh, you know what?
We found out at dinner?
You know who invented the three-point line?
If you could guess a group of people that would find a way to get more points for the same thing, what would Dove offered this up?
He's a dentist.
By the way, the three-point line was invented by a dude.
Was he not?
Like a 1950s announcer.
Really?
Yeah.
And what was the justification?
Whatever.
I mean, it's just, you know, what is the fuck.
That's too late to even say the joke.
Fractional reserve banking.
Yeah, that would be the joke if I could have gotten it off.
And they were banking it.
That is a part of the game.
Banking it.
That's probably why they started playing.
You know, the Jews used to dominate basketball.
What a great joke that you've just backed us into.
The Jews in the early days of the NBA were the athletes.
They were balling.
They were crushing 100%.
And it's probably because of the bank shock.
That's when they were doing bank shots.
They heard that there was bank involvement and they were like, we should get good at this real fast.
And then they stopped.
But am I right about that?
Well, the Jews were phenomenal in the early days.
Yeah.
I think they're the ones that are early days.
They helped integrate.
Prince also created the Harlem Globe Trotters, and then he created the ABL that became the ABA, or they continued the three-point line.
Are they the Globe Trotters because they got kicked out of every country?
But you guys were the best boxers, too.
They were also like the number one boxers.
Jews were good boxers.
That's right.
Because you went through your oppressed minority stage in America.
This is something that white people do not get enough credit for.
But you inspired us.
What do you got, Mark?
What do you mean by nothing?
Why were they good boxers?
I don't know.
Why do you think?
No reason.
They just heard there was a giant ring involved.
Okay, that's it.
Why did Jews invent all the superheroes, Mark?
Why is that?
You're the comedian.
You can't set it up like a perfect joke and then not answer it.
Because you want to find a way to control the world without having a large population?
Peter Salt.
Two-time MSG.
It's like his confidence never goes away.
Yes, man.
I've never wished I had to do that.
Venezuela Trips and Confidence00:02:53
I've known Dub.
For how long now?
We've known each other for 22 years.
I don't know if there's been a day where you haven't been confident.
Yeah.
It never goes away.
He backs way out of his league.
Yeah.
Like that level of confidence, bro.
Body sounds like raging.
I'll put three W's on the word west.
Way.
Crazy, bro.
That was insulting.
Damn, bro.
Oh, guys, we need to go take some trips again, bro.
Yeah.
I just thought about you on the steps hitting on that shorty.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, God.
For the extra inches.
We need to take some trips again.
Sunday, the lips weren't enough that day.
But you got up there.
You climbed that tree.
I don't think she lets you get that.
I fell.
A couple branches snap.
But yeah, I think after special, get that out, break, come back.
I would love to do some more trips.
Like when we did Morocco, we did London.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Like I'd love to go to some cool events, pod there, meet some people.
What's that?
Road pods.
Yeah, road pods internationally.
Venezuela.
Venezuela.
Now that they got no criminals left because fucking your lady let them all into the goddamn country.
What about the hoes?
They still there?
I don't know, actually.
I don't know the statuses of that.
Not that I would care about that.
I was just curious.
Totally separate conversation, unrelated.
How's the food in Venezuela?
Totally separate conversation that has no relation whatsoever to hoes.
So I just want to make sure that we state that.
Is the food delicious, coming?
The restaurants have great conversations.
Don't they not talk about the ombuds?
Oh, the ombudsman is insensitive.
Hell yeah.
You ever put three fingers in some omniance or something?
Cilantro.
And a rapa?
A rapa's got Dubb's favorite activity in the world.
And the body.
I choked.
Walk us off.
Oh, man.
Oh, God.
All right.
Listen.
Yo, Flagrant.
I appreciate y'all.
I know the boys appreciate y'all.
Thank you so much for the support.
We hope to all see you guys, everybody who can make it up at the special taping, man.
Yeah, very, very excited about this.
First Netflix stand-up special that I got, which is very, very cool.
But most importantly, this has been the hour.
Those of you who have seen it has been, you know, the hour has definitely been most important to me.
And I'm very excited to finally put it on wax, if you will.
So I'll see you guys out there at the show's Thanksgiving weekends.
If you guys are not in the city, pull up for the weekend.