Flagrant - Andrew Schulz & Akaash Singh - Algerian Boxer Gender Mystery & Dan Bilzerian Goes Off On Israel
Aired: 2024-08-21
Duration: 01:22:44


=== Is The Boxer A Man (06:37) ===

[00:00:00]  We're back.
[00:00:00]  We just went on vacation.
[00:00:01]  A lot's happened, but nothing will change.
[00:00:04]  Everything changes and it all stays the same.
[00:00:06]  The boxer is a man, or it's not a man.
[00:00:07]  It doesn't matter.
[00:00:08]  How crazy is it that nobody can say whether it's a man or not?
[00:00:12]  Still, this is how I kind of think she might be a man.
[00:00:14]  If someone was like, Yo, Schultz is actually a genetic woman, I'm calling the doctor.
[00:00:19]  I'm like, Yo, we gotta straighten this shit out.
[00:00:21]  The fact that she's like, I'm not showing y'all shit means she got the Y chromosome, right?
[00:00:25]  But yeah, if you changed into a man, that's different than this.
[00:00:27]  No, no, I don't think she changed.
[00:00:29]  I genuinely think it is possible that she is intersex, I believe it's called.
[00:00:33]  So, basically, some people are born with an XY chromosome or their X X Y.
[00:00:38]  So, she might not know.
[00:00:39]  That's the thing.
[00:00:40]  Nobody knows.
[00:00:40]  Being a woman doesn't mean you have to be pretty.
[00:00:42]  But if we want to make that a lot, we could be a lot of people.
[00:00:45]  I don't like that rule.
[00:00:45]  I don't like that rule.
[00:00:46]  Well, why?
[00:00:47]  Because that means back in the day, there might have been a couple times I had some gay sex.
[00:00:54]  Now, hold on.
[00:00:55]  We all could have smashed that XXY.
[00:00:58]  You more than me.
[00:00:59]  You've slept with girls from Eastern Europe, Chernobyl, having X. Got over there.
[00:01:05]  They got to be super femme, super submissive.
[00:01:06]  They got to be all out.
[00:01:07]  Nobody even says submissive.
[00:01:10]  What the heck is he doing?
[00:01:12]  You got to add it.
[00:01:16]  Because no one's ever like, I need a girl that's submissive.
[00:01:20]  I got an audio.
[00:01:21]  It got nothing to do with the man.
[00:01:23]  You're not saying the title at the start of the business.
[00:01:24]  You got to jump to do it from Williamsburg, honestly.
[00:01:26]  That's your only requirement is submissive.
[00:01:28]  He's just saying buzzwords right now.
[00:01:30]  I talked to my boy.
[00:01:31]  Hello, man.
[00:01:32]  My buddy Lucas a 40-year-old trans woman with a brand new agenda.
[00:01:36]  I'm doing that.
[00:01:37]  Why are you calling your brother out?
[00:01:39]  I mean, your fred out just because you kissed the dude, bro.
[00:01:43]  He's trying to get all the heat off of you.
[00:01:45]  I'm just saying, there's a spectrum.
[00:01:47]  There's a spectrum.
[00:01:47]  There's a spectrum of gayness.
[00:01:49]  There's a spectrum of a bag.
[00:01:51]  What is Lucas?
[00:01:53]  What did Lucas do the other day?
[00:01:57]  You talk about Lucas.
[00:02:01]  Every other time.
[00:02:05]  Every other time he would hide the identity of his friends, but now he wants to call him out his name.
[00:02:10]  Lucas Schmidt from Williamsburg.
[00:02:12]  He was like, for two weeks, he's been wanting to tell this story.
[00:02:15]  He never saw a bad fire.
[00:02:17]  Go, go, go, go, Mark.
[00:02:19]  He said it on a box.
[00:02:20]  He's a crazy wild Zaney friend, Lucas.
[00:02:22]  He said it on a pod.
[00:02:23]  So I was like, all right, don't talk about it.
[00:02:24]  He said on your pod?
[00:02:25]  No, he said it on his pod.
[00:02:27]  Okay.
[00:02:27]  But I was like, all right.
[00:02:28]  Lucas, who?
[00:02:28]  No, no, my buddy Lucas Zelnick.
[00:02:30]  He's a comic in New York.
[00:02:31]  Okay.
[00:02:31]  And shout out Lucas.
[00:02:33]  I asked, bro.
[00:02:33]  I asked him.
[00:02:33]  I was like, you were banging on an older woman?
[00:02:39]  You're a fan.
[00:02:40]  Yeah, you are a fan.
[00:02:40]  Hold on.
[00:02:41]  You did not ask him if you ever smashed an older woman.
[00:02:43]  He was like, yes.
[00:02:46]  He answered that.
[00:02:47]  He goes, Yeah, I actually smashed a 40-year-old trans woman.
[00:02:50]  I was like, no, no, no, no.
[00:02:52]  He wanted to tell you that.
[00:02:53]  He wanted to tell you that badly.
[00:02:55]  Why me?
[00:02:55]  Why didn't he want to tell me that he was a man?
[00:03:07]  Hold on.
[00:03:07]  So he said that.
[00:03:08]  And then what'd you do?
[00:03:09]  Because I know your mind was racing.
[00:03:10]  What?
[00:03:10]  How did you act normal?
[00:03:12]  I just was locked in or something.
[00:03:14]  Oh, wow.
[00:03:14]  Interesting.
[00:03:15]  Did you ask about it?
[00:03:16]  Of course.
[00:03:16]  Did he move that meat to the side?
[00:03:18]  Just punch Gucci.
[00:03:19]  No meat.
[00:03:20]  Brand new vagina.
[00:03:21]  Oh.
[00:03:21]  Tennis ball pussies.
[00:03:22]  2024 model.
[00:03:23]  Yeah.
[00:03:26]  For real.
[00:03:28]  Hold on, hold on.
[00:03:29]  Hold on.
[00:03:29]  That's funny.
[00:03:30]  I don't know if I buy that.
[00:03:31]  So he was like hammered at a club.
[00:03:33]  She just walks over and goes, call me a car.
[00:03:34]  Let's go to your place.
[00:03:35]  And he was like, all right.
[00:03:36]  And she was like a hot woman, older lady, chest freckles, the whole deal.
[00:03:40]  And he was like, all right, bet.
[00:03:41]  And then goes to his parents' house and then goes out on the balcony of his parents' apartment, then has sex around the balcony.
[00:03:46]  She's like, only backwards, only backwards.
[00:03:48]  And he's like, all right.
[00:03:49]  And he said it felt great.
[00:03:50]  How do you get it wet?
[00:03:51]  It doesn't get wet.
[00:03:52]  Yeah.
[00:03:52]  And why only backwards?
[00:03:54]  I don't know.
[00:03:54]  This is what he said.
[00:03:55]  I'm assuming it's a good idea.
[00:03:56]  So you hold that fucking hand backwards, dude.
[00:03:58]  Probably.
[00:03:59]  I think there's a dick still there.
[00:04:01]  She's like, only doubled up.
[00:04:02]  Yeah, it might be doubled up.
[00:04:03]  I don't know.
[00:04:04]  But yeah, he said it was great.
[00:04:05]  And then he didn't know she was trans until there was like a magazine that came out about her about like trans models in New York or something.
[00:04:12]  Oh, he's bragging now.
[00:04:12]  But apparently, look at this.
[00:04:15]  Yeah, Lucas gets no pussy.
[00:04:20]  I fucked the model once.
[00:04:21]  I smashed a model.
[00:04:23]  Yeah.
[00:04:24]  There's a prototype.
[00:04:25]  He's trans.
[00:04:25]  It was the first model.
[00:04:26]  It was the model T.
[00:04:29]  Oh, so guys are doing it, bro.
[00:04:32]  The young men of New York City, they're getting Lucas, man.
[00:04:35]  Oh, man.
[00:04:35]  Legend.
[00:04:36]  That's just a badge of honor now.
[00:04:40]  White.
[00:04:41]  The trans was Asian.
[00:04:42]  He's so relieved.
[00:04:44]  Hold on.
[00:04:45]  The trans was Asian.
[00:04:48]  Okay, go ahead and ask.
[00:04:50]  Go ahead and ask, but I know you're going to ask.
[00:04:51]  Go ahead and ask.
[00:04:52]  What?
[00:04:53]  Ask.
[00:04:54]  Ask.
[00:04:54]  This is where he's going to be hateful.
[00:04:56]  He's going to be like, how could you tell the difference?
[00:04:57]  Because he's hateful.
[00:04:59]  He's hateful.
[00:04:59]  He's going to be like, how could you tell?
[00:05:00]  I just don't count it.
[00:05:02]  I don't count it.
[00:05:03]  It's not that far.
[00:05:06]  I don't count it.
[00:05:07]  That don't count.
[00:05:08]  You know, that don't count.
[00:05:10]  Yeah, you ain't really do that much.
[00:05:11]  You didn't fucking trans.
[00:05:12]  That's not full trans.
[00:05:14]  It's more of a step than a transition.
[00:05:16]  Yeah.
[00:05:16]  That's a gateway to the picture.
[00:05:18]  No, no, no.
[00:05:19]  That's not full trans.
[00:05:20]  Yeah, black trans, I feel like, is tougher to pull off.
[00:05:23]  You know what I mean?
[00:05:23]  I feel like I spot more black trans is like not killing it.
[00:05:27]  There hasn't been a good one.
[00:05:27]  That's why my muscles are so more defined.
[00:05:29]  That's what I'm saying.
[00:05:30]  I feel like there hasn't been a good one yet.
[00:05:32]  No, there's got to be a good one.
[00:05:34]  Who's the best black trans?
[00:05:35]  Let's find out.
[00:05:36]  The fact that you can't name it.
[00:05:37]  Laverne.
[00:05:38]  Name any of the trans.
[00:05:39]  What's her name?
[00:05:39]  Laverne.
[00:05:40]  Laverne Cox looked like she used to play middle linebacker in the 80s.
[00:05:43]  God damn it.
[00:05:44]  There's no way.
[00:05:44]  Oh, what about listen?
[00:05:47]  Let's just call it what it is.
[00:05:48]  Magic's kid.
[00:05:49]  As a dude, motherfucker.
[00:05:50]  Come on.
[00:05:51]  That's a dude that dresses like a woman sometimes.
[00:05:53]  That's a dude, dog.
[00:05:58]  Nah, Magic's kid is trans.
[00:06:00]  Nah, Magic's kid.
[00:06:02]  He is Magic's kid.
[00:06:03]  Yeah, dog.
[00:06:03]  He's magic.
[00:06:06]  What?
[00:06:06]  That's Magic's kid?
[00:06:07]  No.
[00:06:08]  Oh, this is a trans woman of color on Sports Illustrated swimsuit.
[00:06:11]  Nah, that mouth, bro.
[00:06:12]  That mouth is a guy.
[00:06:13]  Yeah, That mouth is a dude right there.
[00:06:16]  Look at that shit.
[00:06:17]  There you go.
[00:06:18]  What?
[00:06:20]  As a girl, though.
[00:06:21]  No.
[00:06:22]  No.
[00:06:22]  That's not a girl.
[00:06:23]  Wow.
[00:06:24]  See, you got tricked.
[00:06:25]  Look at you.
[00:06:25]  You got tricked.
[00:06:27]  You get caught up here, bro.
[00:06:28]  Nah, that's not trans.
[00:06:29]  I thought that was a run-of-the-mill WTF employee.

=== Magic Kid Is Trans (05:01) ===

[00:06:37]  That's what I thought it was.
[00:06:39]  I thought that's why he brought it up.
[00:06:40]  Yo, that's crazy.
[00:06:42]  That's crazy talking about Weezy like that, bro.
[00:06:45]  I'm telling, bro.
[00:06:48]  Wow, you say Weezy trans.
[00:06:49]  We're not trans.
[00:06:50]  Weezy trans Palestinian.
[00:06:54]  Weezy's about to transition to the abreast group.
[00:06:58]  Oh my God.
[00:07:00]  But yeah.
[00:07:01]  What's up with this boxer, though?
[00:07:03]  Black's got to step it up.
[00:07:04]  So, yeah, so we don't know still, but the fact that she hasn't shown some paperwork makes me a little sus because you would show paperwork.
[00:07:10]  Yeah, it's true.
[00:07:11]  If I accuse any of y'all of something that heinous, y'all, y'all want to clear your name, wouldn't you?
[00:07:20]  I'm showing you what's in my heinous.
[00:07:22]  I'm taking my face now.
[00:07:23]  Yeah.
[00:07:23]  What if I said you're Pakistani?
[00:07:25]  Yeah, I'm absolutely.
[00:07:27]  Just, I can't even finish saying get that off me, right?
[00:07:35]  Mark, what if I said you were a Jew?
[00:07:37]  Well, come on.
[00:07:38]  What if I said you were a Jew?
[00:07:39]  Can we edit that up?
[00:07:40]  No.
[00:07:40]  Come on, bro.
[00:07:41]  I'm not going to fucking edit it out just because of the political climate on my Twitter feed.
[00:07:46]  Just because Dan Blazarian started to go crazy.
[00:07:49]  Is there money in it?
[00:07:50]  Yo, what is Dan Blazarian doing?
[00:07:52]  Being Jewish?
[00:07:52]  I think so.
[00:07:53]  Not a guy who just gives it for Dan Blazarian.
[00:07:56]  Life tour update this Saturday.
[00:07:58]  We had his second show in AC.
[00:08:00]  Some tickets still available for that one.
[00:08:02]  And then we go on the final leg.
[00:08:04]  Okay.
[00:08:04]  San Antonio, we add his second show.
[00:08:06]  Las Vegas, same weekend as USC Sphere.
[00:08:08]  Come out there for both.
[00:08:10]  Then we got Cleveland, Columbus, Minneapolis, Milwaukee, Denver.
[00:08:14]  We added a third show.
[00:08:15]  Cincinnati, we added a second show.
[00:08:17]  Rama, Ontario, Salt Lake City, we added a second show.
[00:08:21]  Reno, Nevada, we had a second show.
[00:08:23]  San Jose, we had a second show.
[00:08:25]  Portland, and then finally closing it out in Honolulu, Hawaii.
[00:08:29]  TheandrewScholes.com for tickets.
[00:08:31]  We'll see you guys there.
[00:08:32]  Peace.
[00:08:32]  All right, guys.
[00:08:34]  Next week, big shows, Honolulu, Hawaii.
[00:08:36]  I'm coming through to the Blue Note Cafe.
[00:08:38]  Buy the fucking tickets.
[00:08:39]  Also, September 6th and 7th, I'm going to be at Wise Guys Comedy Club in Las Vegas.
[00:08:44]  I'm excited to do Vegas.
[00:08:45]  And that, yo, what a run of fun cities after that.
[00:08:47]  I'm going to be in Miami, Doral, Florida, technically.
[00:08:50]  September 12th through 14th.
[00:08:52]  Get your tickets.
[00:08:53]  I'm going to be at the improv.
[00:08:54]  September 19th through 21st.
[00:08:55]  I'm going to be in Timonium.
[00:08:57]  So the fun cities tour ends.
[00:08:58]  But I'm going to be at Magoobi's, which is a great comedy club.
[00:09:00]  September 27th and 28th, Greensville.
[00:09:03]  October 17th through 19th, New Brunswick, New Jersey.
[00:09:05]  There's plenty of dates.
[00:09:06]  Go to Akashing.com to check all of those out.
[00:09:09]  Thank you guys so much.
[00:09:10]  Let's get back to the show.
[00:09:11]  What I'm trying to say is, I don't understand the pivot from Dan Blazarian.
[00:09:14]  He watched the pivot.
[00:09:15]  He was a billionaire fucking bitches.
[00:09:17]  Was he a billionaire fucking bitch?
[00:09:18]  He's a billionaire.
[00:09:19]  That's what his, that was his shtick.
[00:09:21]  But now he's like, he's on the pivot.
[00:09:23]  I don't know what to say.
[00:09:24]  He was on PBD's podcast and he was banging hard on Israel, bro.
[00:09:27]  He was gone.
[00:09:28]  Yeah.
[00:09:29]  Oh, he needs a couple loans.
[00:09:31]  No, no.
[00:09:32]  Against Israel.
[00:09:32]  Oh, at Israel.
[00:09:34]  Oh.
[00:09:34]  They took his money.
[00:09:35]  Oh, yeah.
[00:09:36]  That's what it was.
[00:09:37]  Yeah, they probably raised his rent.
[00:09:38]  Oh, fuck.
[00:09:39]  Motherfucker's upset.
[00:09:41]  Is he tweeting about it a lot?
[00:09:43]  No, he's on PBD and he's talking that shit.
[00:09:45]  He said what he's going to say about Israel to get him killed.
[00:09:48]  He loves that shit.
[00:09:49]  What did he say?
[00:09:51]  Yo, he was on PBD talking that shit.
[00:09:54]  Literally, I think the title is.
[00:09:55]  He loves that shit.
[00:09:56]  When he means to say we love that shit, what are you talking about?
[00:10:01]  Yo, but that's the funniest thing about the Red Pill community.
[00:10:03]  This is like their new thing that they have attached themselves to to seem like pseudo-intellectual.
[00:10:08]  And which is really annoys me because I prefer us being the only pseudo-intellectuals that have strong opinions about things we know nothing about.
[00:10:15]  So it's really bothersome when I see all these accounts.
[00:10:18]  It's taking our graph.
[00:10:19]  They're gripped off our graph.
[00:10:21]  Okay, what the fuck is that?
[00:10:22]  Come on, bro.
[00:10:22]  The fucking Clintons or something.
[00:10:25]  Anyways, so yeah, yeah.
[00:10:28]  But that is don't talk shit about the Fed, bro.
[00:10:32]  We should look at it.
[00:10:33]  You know who runs the Fed.
[00:10:34]  That's true.
[00:10:35]  That's true.
[00:10:36]  Who runs it?
[00:10:38]  The Globalists.
[00:10:39]  The Globalists.
[00:10:40]  The Globalist Mike.
[00:10:41]  Anyway, so, but now I see all of them fucking clamoring about it.
[00:10:45]  So now we have to act like they know what the fuck is going on in the world.
[00:10:50]  No.
[00:10:50]  Actually, we don't have to act.
[00:10:51]  I don't know why I said that.
[00:10:52]  But yeah, have you been acting like that the last month?
[00:10:55]  Yeah, the last few weeks.
[00:10:56]  You've been acting like that.
[00:10:56]  My Twitter feed is non-stop Red Pill guys talking about Israel.
[00:11:01]  Yeah, yeah.
[00:11:03]  Why don't you just follow some black people?
[00:11:05]  What is your fun?
[00:11:08]  Andrew Tate, Tristan T.
[00:11:12]  Okay, Fresh Fit.
[00:11:14]  I got four.
[00:11:15]  I got four whole black guys I follow.
[00:11:19]  That's about two and a half, right?
[00:11:22]  Yeah.
[00:11:23]  I think you had about negative two black people on your feed.
[00:11:26]  See, I do the same thing because I get curious because I see some guy being like, yeah, Hitler was right.
[00:11:30]  I'm like, hold on, what is this thread?
[00:11:32]  And then I click it and then I get three more threads.
[00:11:34]  It was like, Hitler was really right.
[00:11:35]  And then now we got a whole bunch of Hitler.
[00:11:37]  Why are you clicking on the Hitler was hiding?

=== Red Pill Twitter Feeds (15:16) ===

[00:11:38]  No, why?
[00:11:39]  Because I'm like, how is this on the internet?
[00:11:41]  The one I saw that I sent Mark, I was like, yo, get your mom on this.
[00:11:44]  It was like, Candace Owens, Candace Owens said some shit like, Stalin was a Jew.
[00:11:50]  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
[00:11:50]  My mom, you saying that.
[00:11:58]  My mom said some bars are your mom, so that's crazy.
[00:12:03]  Well, I'm just trying to get it.
[00:12:03]  Your mom is kidding as Ghostwriter, bro.
[00:12:05]  This is fine.
[00:12:07]  How have the Jews been getting away with this?
[00:12:09]  My mom says there's a lot of people.
[00:12:09]  They've been hiding political leaders being Jewish for years.
[00:12:12]  How is nobody?
[00:12:13]  Crypto Jews, what they call them.
[00:12:15]  Oh, because they're cryptic?
[00:12:16]  Yeah, exactly.
[00:12:17]  They're not Jews, but they changed their names.
[00:12:19]  Or they are Jews.
[00:12:21]  They are Jews and they change their names.
[00:12:22]  Yeah, yeah.
[00:12:23]  This is a Hollywood thing.
[00:12:24]  Yeah, exactly.
[00:12:25]  Crypto Jews.
[00:12:26]  Like a whole thing.
[00:12:27]  We had a fire conversation this weekend.
[00:12:28]  Okay, good.
[00:12:29]  They had a...
[00:12:30]  In this room.
[00:12:31]  Oh, yeah.
[00:12:32]  Do you feel a power in that chair?
[00:12:34]  Yeah, I do.
[00:12:34]  Mark's mom sat there.
[00:12:36]  What was she saying?
[00:12:37]  Thank God.
[00:12:38]  Everybody about a sniff is here.
[00:12:39]  I think so.
[00:12:41]  I was like, no, that's wild.
[00:12:43]  That's disrespectful.
[00:12:44]  Snippet at you.
[00:12:46]  But you gave me an idea that I can't go.
[00:12:48]  I'm going to read now.
[00:12:49]  With all due respect.
[00:12:52]  I'm not going to do that.
[00:12:53]  I'm going to cut this pillow right off the fucking scene.
[00:12:55]  I'm going to put it in a frame hanging above my bed.
[00:12:58]  It's going to be like Tanya's Nitrus.
[00:12:59]  You're going to sleep with it right now.
[00:13:01]  Oh, my God.
[00:13:02]  Oh, my God.
[00:13:04]  Yeah, we need to talk about that.
[00:13:06]  But no, my parents hit me up and they're like, hey, we're in New York.
[00:13:09]  Where are you?
[00:13:10]  And I was like, hang on.
[00:13:11]  You can't just do that.
[00:13:12]  And they're like, oh, no, we're flying to Montreal, but we got stuck here for a night.
[00:13:16]  So what are we doing?
[00:13:17]  And I was like, well, fuck my plans.
[00:13:19]  Whatever I had going on is now no longer going on.
[00:13:22]  So then we got a dinner reservation.
[00:13:23]  We got a lunch reservation.
[00:13:24]  They leave at like six.
[00:13:25]  And so they were like, yeah, we'll meet up at one.
[00:13:26]  We'll leave around like three.
[00:13:28]  And I was like, all right, I bet.
[00:13:29]  And then we sit down.
[00:13:30]  The second we sit down, my dad just leans over.
[00:13:32]  He's like, so what do you think about this dude fighting women?
[00:13:35]  And I was like, cooking.
[00:13:37]  All right.
[00:13:38]  And then the way their conference goes, like, I'll say, like, well, I don't really think it's that.
[00:13:41]  I think maybe she doesn't know, but maybe she has X, Y, da, da, da.
[00:13:43]  And he goes, but you saw the opening ceremony.
[00:13:45]  And I'm like, yeah.
[00:13:46]  And he's like, well, obviously that's a satanic ritual.
[00:13:48]  And I was like, I don't know about that.
[00:13:50]  And he goes, but did you know that the Fed is controlled by?
[00:13:53]  And I'm like, well, I don't know.
[00:13:54]  And it's just me responding and then them just saying other facts.
[00:13:58]  Other conspiracies.
[00:13:59]  Just other facts about things.
[00:14:01]  My dad was on that wave, too.
[00:14:02]  He's like, he just kind of takes my mom's shit and like kind of repackages it.
[00:14:05]  But like, then my mom jumps in.
[00:14:06]  At a certain point, the waiter overhears us.
[00:14:08]  My mom says, I swear to God, look, we know having sex with children is wrong, but explain to me why.
[00:14:14]  Just justify it.
[00:14:15]  Why?
[00:14:15]  And then she was trying to use my justification as a way to justify some other shit.
[00:14:19]  And it was just, and the waiter was like cutting us off.
[00:14:20]  They're like, all right, no more wine.
[00:14:22]  This is like two and a half hours.
[00:14:24]  Where'd you take them to dinner?
[00:14:25]  Raul's.
[00:14:26]  Oh, boy.
[00:14:27]  You don't realize how close this tables are in Raul's.
[00:14:29]  Oh, it's insanely close.
[00:14:31]  Like, if it's packed, everybody's hearing that conversation.
[00:14:34]  They're elbow to elbow.
[00:14:35]  And they were not being quiet.
[00:14:37]  They were not being subtle about it.
[00:14:38]  And then we get onto the street.
[00:14:39]  Because they like the conflict.
[00:14:40]  They want somebody in there.
[00:14:41]  They love the debate.
[00:14:44]  They just want to just discuss.
[00:14:45]  And then we got here.
[00:14:47]  My parents were just saying wild shit to Miles.
[00:14:49]  Like, no censor.
[00:14:50]  I don't even remember what there was.
[00:14:51]  What's the craziest sentence?
[00:14:53]  I don't remember the craziest sentence, but their flight shit was crazy.
[00:14:56]  They were just like really upset.
[00:14:59]  Oh, God.
[00:15:00]  Yeah.
[00:15:03]  So they're flying United, right?
[00:15:05]  And the flight is delayed and they can't find their bags.
[00:15:08]  So they're stuck in Newark.
[00:15:09]  And they can't talk to a person because they get connected to a customer service person in Malaysia and they're so pissed off.
[00:15:16]  And my mom's like, see, this is what happens.
[00:15:18]  You know, the CEO is trans.
[00:15:20]  And I was like, wait, what?
[00:15:22]  And she was like, look, it shows me a picture of the CEO and like in drag or something.
[00:15:25]  I seen that picture and switched over to fucking Delta right away.
[00:15:28]  My mom is like, go woke, go broke.
[00:15:30]  I'm just saying, look at this.
[00:15:31]  This is what happens.
[00:15:32]  They go, everyone's trans now.
[00:15:34]  And she was like talking to the lady at the bag clamp.
[00:15:36]  She was like, can I get my bag or is your CEO going to steal it?
[00:15:40]  And the person was like, what are you talking?
[00:15:42]  And she was like, look it up.
[00:15:43]  Shit, I didn't know.
[00:15:44]  It's just like barring up the people at the fucking airport.
[00:15:47]  And then she came and was like, yeah, I had to tell them.
[00:15:49]  And they're fucking working for a trance.
[00:15:52]  I was like, she starts tweeting at them.
[00:15:54]  Yeah, she was tweeting crazy.
[00:15:56]  That was insane.
[00:15:57]  It was funny.
[00:15:58]  She was like tweeting and attacking United at United, being like, yo, where the fuck's my bag training?
[00:16:04]  How did you come out in regular?
[00:16:06]  I know.
[00:16:07]  It's a true miracle.
[00:16:13]  Yeah.
[00:16:15]  Because they're feeding you this crazy shit.
[00:16:17]  You're going to share it with your friends.
[00:16:18]  And they're just like, we don't have horns.
[00:16:20]  Mark, why are you saying this?
[00:16:22]  So then you do that a few times and you're embarrassed.
[00:16:24]  So you're like, okay, I got to go look this stuff up.
[00:16:26]  And now you look up everything.
[00:16:27]  And then you look up and then you got to refuse.
[00:16:29]  But it's never on a topic.
[00:16:30]  It's always just fact.
[00:16:32]  I respond with an argument that's nuanced.
[00:16:34]  And then you say a different fact.
[00:16:36]  I love it.
[00:16:36]  And then it just goes on just a train.
[00:16:38]  We're using the term fact with quotes.
[00:16:40]  Yeah.
[00:16:41]  Or like, no, no, no.
[00:16:42]  Actually, the facts will be super, super specific and they're technically true.
[00:16:45]  So if you Google them, it is real.
[00:16:47]  But then she uses that to extrapolate to be like, you know, Satan.
[00:16:50]  That's how I'd be doing shit with my girl a little bit, to be honest.
[00:16:52]  Yeah, smart.
[00:16:53]  That's my technique a little bit.
[00:16:54]  Yeah, just hit them with examples.
[00:16:55]  After example, they don't know what to do.
[00:16:57]  They get frazzled.
[00:16:58]  My wife tried to try to handicap me in arguments.
[00:17:00]  What'd she do?
[00:17:01]  She said, no more examples.
[00:17:08]  No more examples.
[00:17:08]  That's how I win this shit all the time.
[00:17:10]  You're trying to get me to argue with no examples.
[00:17:12]  Objection.
[00:17:13]  She tried.
[00:17:14]  She said, no more examples.
[00:17:15]  And then she hit me with the, she hit me with, when I tell you I feel, don't tell me how you feel.
[00:17:20]  What?
[00:17:21]  Acknowledge how I feel.
[00:17:23]  And I and I'd be like, oh, God.
[00:17:27]  Oh, fuck, fuck.
[00:17:28]  What did she say?
[00:17:28]  It was something like, something, because she'll say what she feels, and then I'll immediately say why she shouldn't feel that way.
[00:17:35]  Does that make sense?
[00:17:37]  And I didn't even realize you're not supposed to do that.
[00:17:39]  Yeah, you're not supposed to.
[00:17:40]  I'm just sitting here seeing you feel something dumb.
[00:17:42]  And I'm like, well, let me fix that for you.
[00:17:43]  You don't got to feel that.
[00:17:45]  Listen, you are burdening yourself with this feeling.
[00:17:48]  You cannot feel it if you just listen to me.
[00:17:51]  I'll tell you why you're wrong to feel that shit.
[00:17:53]  Oh, my God.
[00:17:54]  But they don't want that.
[00:17:55]  You see somebody like Mark Randall.
[00:17:57]  Exactly.
[00:17:58]  They just want to tell you a feeling.
[00:18:00]  You see someone getting crushed by weights at the gym.
[00:18:01]  You're like, let me help you.
[00:18:02]  They're like, no, just acknowledge I'm getting crushed by weight.
[00:18:04]  Let me lift the weight.
[00:18:05]  Let me lift the weight off you.
[00:18:06]  No, no, no.
[00:18:07]  Just look at me and be like, man, that must be so heavy for you right now.
[00:18:09]  And they're like, thank you so much while their arms are shaking.
[00:18:13]  No, that is so true.
[00:18:14]  Yeah, bro.
[00:18:15]  Why do they do that?
[00:18:16]  Let me lift the weight a little.
[00:18:17]  They need their feelings acknowledged all the time.
[00:18:19]  Take your feelings and fucking smother them.
[00:18:22]  Like a man.
[00:18:23]  Yeah, or like a boxer from Algeria.
[00:18:26]  You think that boxer from Algeria out here crying as shit?
[00:18:30]  No, she's suing like a man does.
[00:18:32]  She said, Elon, J.K. Rowland, I'm coming for that bread.
[00:18:35]  Yeah.
[00:18:35]  She won't take a motherfucking test, though.
[00:18:39]  She knows she won't take a motherfucking test.
[00:18:41]  That might come up in the trial goes through.
[00:18:43]  Then we'll finally find out.
[00:18:44]  That's why she's suing.
[00:18:46]  Bro, if somebody said, yo, Al, you got six toes on one foot.
[00:18:49]  You putting your feet on Instagram within seconds.
[00:18:52]  Yeah, because it's lit.
[00:18:54]  No, Me.
[00:19:00]  It's not an extra genetic.
[00:19:02]  You want to disprove that rumors.
[00:19:04]  I'll have six toes, man.
[00:19:05]  Wow.
[00:19:06]  I'll show the Instagram.
[00:19:07]  I'll have six toes.
[00:19:09]  Yo, hey, sorry.
[00:19:11]  You notice six toes.
[00:19:11]  You notice.
[00:19:12]  I want to be.
[00:19:13]  You don't want to be the first too.
[00:19:15]  You know, you notice.
[00:19:16]  We were doing a metaphor.
[00:19:17]  But no.
[00:19:18]  You had to see myself.
[00:19:20]  I haven't shown you the test.
[00:19:21]  This guy's unbelievable.
[00:19:23]  It's truly unbelievable.
[00:19:25]  What is happening?
[00:19:26]  Anyway, fucking Miles.
[00:19:30]  Come on.
[00:19:30]  All right, sorry.
[00:19:31]  Come on.
[00:19:32]  Sorry, I apologize about that.
[00:19:33]  That was my bad.
[00:19:34]  Oh, my God, dude.
[00:19:35]  So, yeah, we're never going to find out the truth.
[00:19:38]  We're never going to find out.
[00:19:39]  What do you think we find out first?
[00:19:40]  The Epstein shit or if the boxer is a guy or the boxer got a Y chromosome?
[00:19:45]  Boxer.
[00:19:46]  I think she has a vagina 100%.
[00:19:47]  Yeah.
[00:19:47]  I think it's a born woman with some man shit.
[00:19:49]  And then we have to find that out.
[00:19:50]  That's why she's suing it to Al's point.
[00:19:52]  She's just waiting until she sues and then she'll win the lawsuit with this test or whatever.
[00:19:57]  I was watching this video that the more print care.
[00:20:01]  She's like, facts, I don't give a fuck about that.
[00:20:04]  What's more important, bro?
[00:20:05]  No, I do not care about that.
[00:20:08]  Yeah.
[00:20:09]  Wait, do you want me to acknowledge your feelings or something?
[00:20:12]  Acknowledge them.
[00:20:13]  Your feelings is right.
[00:20:14]  Yes, thank you.
[00:20:15]  You were feeling them.
[00:20:15]  Thank you.
[00:20:16]  You were feeling them.
[00:20:16]  Thank you, dude.
[00:20:17]  Thank you.
[00:20:18]  Thank you.
[00:20:20]  That's all I needed.
[00:20:20]  Now, now that this is the funniest shit.
[00:20:23]  Now that my wife has told me to acknowledge them, anytime I do it, she knows it's not pure.
[00:20:32]  Yeah, no, so like, yeah, this thing frustrated me like, that seems frustrating.
[00:20:40]  And she'll just be looking at me like, this motherfucker don't care about my frustrations.
[00:20:43]  You say it just like that.
[00:20:44]  Facts.
[00:20:46]  It's a lose-lose, right?
[00:20:47]  It's a lose-lose.
[00:20:49]  Write them down.
[00:20:50]  Get a journal.
[00:20:50]  Write them down.
[00:20:51]  That looks like you care.
[00:20:52]  Wait, write down their feelings?
[00:20:53]  Yeah, exactly.
[00:20:54]  Be like, hold on, honey.
[00:20:55]  I don't wanna have a spell half of you.
[00:20:57]  So fuck.
[00:20:58]  Oh, God.
[00:21:01]  No, but you gotta do it, right?
[00:21:03]  Do you?
[00:21:03]  No, you don't.
[00:21:05]  I actually think there's diminishing returns.
[00:21:08]  Yeah.
[00:21:08]  I think you acknowledge too many of them, then they think they're right.
[00:21:12]  You reverse gaslight them.
[00:21:14]  Yeah, you really, yeah.
[00:21:15]  You could trick them that they're correct.
[00:21:17]  You can't let the roots grow deep.
[00:21:19]  You can't let the roots grow deep because then they start to believe them shits.
[00:21:24]  You gotta, it's a weed.
[00:21:26]  You gotta yank that out.
[00:21:27]  The second you see a weed in your garden, you gotta yank it out.
[00:21:31]  Man, it's so red.
[00:21:32]  You gotta gank it out.
[00:21:33]  It's crazy.
[00:21:34]  You gotta yank it.
[00:21:36]  Even when they're a little right.
[00:21:38]  Even when they're just a little bit right.
[00:21:40]  Like, yeah, I think the restaurant is over.
[00:21:42]  If they're right, no, it's not on that street.
[00:21:43]  I need to do a gender test.
[00:21:45]  If they're right, listen.
[00:21:49]  My wife starts being right too much.
[00:21:51]  I'm like, yo, we need to hit you with the Iman Khalif.
[00:21:53]  I need to know if you got some testies on the inside because you've been right way too much.
[00:21:57]  You haven't asked me to acknowledge your feelings at all.
[00:21:59]  I need to know something's going on over here.
[00:22:02]  Oh, my God.
[00:22:03]  Bro, I think my girl's got dyslexia.
[00:22:06]  Late stage dyslexia.
[00:22:07]  We just got a diagnosis from the car.
[00:22:10]  We got an argument because we're in the car.
[00:22:11]  And she goes, yeah, and then just make a left up here.
[00:22:13]  And then I go left.
[00:22:14]  And she goes, why are you going this way?
[00:22:16]  I go, well, you just say go left.
[00:22:17]  She goes, it's right.
[00:22:18]  I was like, no, you just said go left.
[00:22:20]  And she was like, I just said right.
[00:22:22]  And I was like, nope.
[00:22:23]  She gaslighted.
[00:22:24]  I was like, what the fuck is happening?
[00:22:26]  And this has happened like every three days for the last like month.
[00:22:28]  She needs to pay you back for all the fucking stupid shit you make her believe.
[00:22:32]  You got her stressed out.
[00:22:34]  I would respect it if it was just a pure gaslight.
[00:22:36]  So you see, when that happens enough, you see why Johnny Depp was recording his bitch.
[00:22:41]  Right?
[00:22:42]  I'm going to be an Uber driver.
[00:22:43]  I'm going to be an Uber driver.
[00:22:44]  You see it because you're just like, I thought about that.
[00:22:47]  Right?
[00:22:48]  Yo, if we're going to, if we might have not operated reality, seeing what's going on.
[00:22:54]  We're going to have to videotape it to hit the tape.
[00:22:56]  I need a body cam.
[00:22:57]  That's it.
[00:22:58]  You get it.
[00:22:59]  I've really thought about that a couple of times.
[00:23:01]  It made me understand black people and the police.
[00:23:05]  It really did.
[00:23:06]  It really never.
[00:23:08]  I've never, I've never understood it before.
[00:23:10]  They get in court and just like, not.
[00:23:13]  And the police are like, what do you mean?
[00:23:15]  He shot himself and put the back and he did all the drugs and he shot himself with it.
[00:23:21]  And you're sitting there like, what is this guy talking about?
[00:23:23]  Yeah.
[00:23:24]  Crazy.
[00:23:25]  Shit, are all cops women?
[00:23:27]  Are all cops women?
[00:23:28]  Yo, yo, shut the fuck up.
[00:23:30]  You black motherfucker.
[00:23:32]  All cops have fucking XX and shit.
[00:23:35]  That's crazy.
[00:23:38]  For real, though, I do.
[00:23:40]  That did.
[00:23:41]  When they take reality and they warp it.
[00:23:46]  They do that a lot.
[00:23:47]  They do that a lot.
[00:23:48]  But the cops do it too.
[00:23:50]  Yeah.
[00:23:50]  So does the media.
[00:23:52]  Yeah, the liberals.
[00:23:53]  The fucking libs.
[00:23:55]  Those fucking libs and those fucking cons.
[00:23:58]  Yeah.
[00:23:59]  Oh, the cons now.
[00:24:00]  Dude, the fucking cons, bro.
[00:24:03]  What's up with communism?
[00:24:04]  That shit kind of be riling people up.
[00:24:08]  Doesn't it?
[00:24:09]  Everybody's awesome.
[00:24:10]  Some people's ADHD is whack, but yours is sick.
[00:24:12]  Isn't it?
[00:24:13]  Yeah, because you just connect.
[00:24:14]  You're like, yo, comment.
[00:24:14]  Let's go to the next one.
[00:24:15]  Let's get to the next fire shit that came up on my feed that I didn't really pay enough attention to, but I wanted y'all to explain it to me.
[00:24:22]  That's why I really scroll Instagram or Twitter.
[00:24:24]  I'm like, all right, all right, Mark's mom will explain this shit to me right here.
[00:24:28]  All right, Alex is going to tell me what this rap beef is about.
[00:24:31]  All right, Akai is going to break down this relationship shit.
[00:24:35]  I just get my headlines.
[00:24:37]  What's the communism?
[00:24:38]  I haven't heard anything.
[00:24:39]  I don't know.
[00:24:40]  I know Trump is saying Kambo's a communist, but that's a pejorative.
[00:24:44]  It's used as a pejorative communism.
[00:24:46]  Yeah, of course.
[00:24:47]  That's from back in the day.
[00:24:48]  That's from the 50s.
[00:24:49]  Guys, we have some huge news for Flagrant Steak.
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[00:25:31]  Flagrant asshole army.
[00:25:33]  Welcome, Steak.
[00:25:34]  Embrace them.
[00:25:36]  The future is next.
[00:25:37]  You would think one country could get that shit right.
[00:25:40]  China seems like it might be.
[00:25:42]  A capitalist, bro.
[00:25:44]  They're like a capitalist tyranny.
[00:25:46]  Yeah.
[00:25:47]  You need AI to make it work.
[00:25:49]  What does that mean?
[00:25:50]  AI will make it work.
[00:25:51]  Communism?
[00:25:52]  Yeah.
[00:25:52]  Why?
[00:25:53]  AI will make it work.
[00:25:53]  I mean, if you can automate a bunch of the shitty jobs and get some money going just automatically with the AI, you can kind of give people a universal basic income and then use AI to then allocate funds and resources and foods.
[00:26:04]  It's fucking liberal.
[00:26:07]  I'm just saying.
[00:26:08]  It's insane.
[00:26:09]  If it was going to work.
[00:26:10]  If it was going to work.
[00:26:11]  You're a real robot.
[00:26:12]  I know.
[00:26:12]  Yeah.
[00:26:13]  You're a fucking Robo Homo.
[00:26:14]  Don't use a hard R, bro.
[00:26:15]  Come on.
[00:26:16]  Robo Homo, dude.
[00:26:18]  You're a Robo Homo, dude.
[00:26:19]  Come on, bro.
[00:26:19]  It's not like Robo.
[00:26:20]  You're a Robo Homo.
[00:26:22]  I'm just saying it's the wave.
[00:26:23]  Everyone's going to be a good man.
[00:26:24]  You're right, though.
[00:26:24]  Everyone's human.
[00:26:27]  It's like Russia.
[00:26:28]  They set everything up.
[00:26:29]  We're going to take care of everybody.
[00:26:30]  And the people at the top are like, well, we're going to get richer and richer and richer.
[00:26:34]  Greed knows no bounds.
[00:26:35]  Robo homo.
[00:26:36]  Robo.
[00:26:36]  Yeah, robo.
[00:26:37]  Yo, you know, Stalin was a Jew that you didn't know that.
[00:26:41]  Where'd you hear that?
[00:26:42]  Turns out, George Washington, big fucking Eb.
[00:26:45]  Yeah.
[00:26:45]  And what is he on?
[00:26:46]  The money?
[00:26:47]  Backs up.
[00:26:48]  That's fire.
[00:26:48]  That's pretty hard.
[00:26:49]  Yeah, but only the one that ain't Jewish.
[00:26:51]  Yo, there's a lot of secret Jews out there.
[00:26:53]  Is that because that's all those men?

=== You Are A Robo Homo (11:36) ===

[00:26:55]  Is there ones?
[00:26:56]  Exactly.
[00:26:57]  Now, think about there's more crypto.
[00:26:59]  You're a crypto Jew.
[00:27:04]  You couldn't even get a turn.
[00:27:06]  Hey, hold on.
[00:27:06]  What is that?
[00:27:07]  Did my finger hit my nose?
[00:27:09]  It got me away.
[00:27:11]  If that isn't the most evidence I'm Jewish, I don't know why that is.
[00:27:18]  Yeah, I thought that's what you're doing.
[00:27:24]  Oh, my God.
[00:27:26]  Fuck you, Mark.
[00:27:27]  How are the Hamptons, dude?
[00:27:29]  That's crazy, kids.
[00:27:30]  The Hamptons don't even let the Jews in.
[00:27:32]  Respect.
[00:27:33]  Oh, fuck.
[00:27:34]  No, they do.
[00:27:34]  The Jews got their own little community.
[00:27:36]  That's what happened.
[00:27:36]  The Wasps make their little country clubs.
[00:27:38]  They don't let the Jews in.
[00:27:39]  The Jews make theirs, and the Jews let Asians in.
[00:27:42]  No.
[00:27:42]  So the Jew country clubs have got Asians.
[00:27:45]  Powerful move.
[00:27:46]  Powerful movie.
[00:27:47]  Yeah, strong.
[00:27:48]  So they're cooking.
[00:27:49]  Yeah.
[00:27:50]  They see the future coming.
[00:27:51]  They do.
[00:27:52]  But the boss, do they try to get anyone?
[00:27:55]  Just white.
[00:27:56]  Yeah, they're just fucking white and old money white.
[00:27:59]  They're old money white.
[00:28:01]  Vintage Rolex.
[00:28:02]  Yeah, just fucking.
[00:28:04]  Had it forever.
[00:28:04]  Just had it forever.
[00:28:05]  It feels entitled to everything.
[00:28:07]  Yeah.
[00:28:08]  It's just, it's their world.
[00:28:09]  Yeah.
[00:28:10]  They built it.
[00:28:11]  We're all kind of living in it.
[00:28:13]  Eye contact is optional.
[00:28:14]  The kids clamoring, just waiting for them to die type of shit, or you don't see that.
[00:28:18]  I don't know people that are like that wealthy.
[00:28:21]  But like, that is a real thing.
[00:28:24]  Like all those shows that depict it.
[00:28:25]  Yeah.
[00:28:26]  That's a real thing.
[00:28:27]  Yo, side note, this is what brought it up.
[00:28:29]  But have you guys seen any of the, I think they're called Knives Out movies?
[00:28:34]  Yeah.
[00:28:35]  This guy, the director, Ryan Johnson.
[00:28:37]  Great movies.
[00:28:38]  Is fucking genius.
[00:28:39]  Yeah.
[00:28:40]  Like it's this like the whodunit mysteries, but like they're fucking so much fun.
[00:28:45]  Yeah, do you like the second one or the glass onion?
[00:28:47]  I like the first one better.
[00:28:48]  I saw glass onion.
[00:28:49]  I like the first one better.
[00:28:50]  The first one's the best.
[00:28:51]  Well, there's only two.
[00:28:52]  What's the name of the first one?
[00:28:54]  The first one is called Knives Out.
[00:28:56]  Second one is Knives Out Glass Onion.
[00:28:57]  Yeah, Glass Onion.
[00:28:58]  They're both awesome.
[00:28:59]  I saw Glass Onion first.
[00:29:00]  I thought that was awesome.
[00:29:02]  But it's this movie where you're trying to figure out either who did it or, you know.
[00:29:07]  Yeah.
[00:29:07]  And there's this detective character who's awesome.
[00:29:10]  Yeah, Benoit Blanc.
[00:29:11]  Yeah.
[00:29:11]  Who's played by Bond?
[00:29:13]  Yeah, Daniel Craig Bond.
[00:29:14]  Also, smart decision.
[00:29:15]  Like, you're Bond.
[00:29:16]  Everybody only knows you as Bond.
[00:29:18]  You have to go play another character to prove that you're an actor.
[00:29:22]  Because sometimes you can play something so iconic that we only see you as that character for the rest of your career.
[00:29:28]  So he goes and plays a guy with like a New Orleans Cajun draw.
[00:29:32]  And he kills it.
[00:29:34]  Kills it.
[00:29:35]  But anyway, the reason I brought that up, there was a family dispute over money.
[00:29:38]  That was one of the things.
[00:29:39]  But I really am impressed by these people that can write these mysteries where like they're constantly tricking the audience.
[00:29:50]  So they're like manipulating you into thinking this thing is going to happen.
[00:29:53]  And then they trick you four, five, six times and bake in all these Easter eggs throughout.
[00:29:59]  Yeah.
[00:30:00]  It's.
[00:30:00]  Yeah.
[00:30:00]  And then you rewatch it again.
[00:30:02]  You're like, oh, you should have seen that.
[00:30:03]  Oh, yeah, they set that up.
[00:30:05]  I mean, it's kind of like a joke.
[00:30:07]  Like, it's like you're teasing things to call back to.
[00:30:10]  Where's this going?
[00:30:11]  Where is this going?
[00:30:12]  I've rewatched both Knives Out because it's like, oh, it's almost more fun the second time because you're like, oh, I missed that.
[00:30:17]  I missed that.
[00:30:17]  I missed that.
[00:30:18]  It's also great, like, girlfriend wife watching.
[00:30:20]  Because you get to lean over and be like, I think that, you know what I mean?
[00:30:24]  It's kind of like a kids' TV show.
[00:30:25]  Yeah.
[00:30:26]  Like the person comes on, they're like, have you seen my backpack?
[00:30:29]  Where's the backpack?
[00:30:29]  And you're like, yeah.
[00:30:30]  Yeah.
[00:30:32]  Yeah.
[00:30:32]  The way to be reductive about it.
[00:30:35]  Every now and again, I watch it.
[00:30:36]  Like, if you watch a bad one, I've watched one.
[00:30:38]  I forget what it was.
[00:30:39]  It might have been Murder Mystery.
[00:30:40]  I can't remember.
[00:30:41]  Okay.
[00:30:41]  And it's just a little bit like something happens, then they kind of look towards the camera.
[00:30:45]  Like, oh.
[00:30:46]  Okay.
[00:30:46]  So the thing's going to happen.
[00:30:48]  The thing that I like about this guy is that he's quite aware.
[00:30:54]  There's like cultural things that he taps into.
[00:30:56]  Like there was a little incel kid and like a super liberal girl.
[00:31:00]  And like the characters, he has like jokes poking fun at them.
[00:31:04]  Yeah.
[00:31:04]  Like he has a guy in the night in the Glass Onion thing that's kind of like Alex Jones-esque.
[00:31:09]  Yeah.
[00:31:09]  He's like one of the characters.
[00:31:10]  So like he's, he's teasing and making fun of these people.
[00:31:14]  And I'm just so impressed that he writes it and directs it.
[00:31:18]  Yeah.
[00:31:19]  I don't even know if he wrote it anyway.
[00:31:20]  It's a fucking hard thing to sit down there and like really impressive.
[00:31:24]  That's why I like the game.
[00:31:25]  Remember that movie?
[00:31:26]  Yeah, with Michael Douglas.
[00:31:27]  Yeah, like just the twist.
[00:31:28]  Like you like, oh, I figured it out now.
[00:31:29]  Yeah.
[00:31:30]  I haven't seen that one.
[00:31:30]  I need to see it.
[00:31:31]  That's fire.
[00:31:32]  But Glass Onion, the second one, the plot is, I like the first one better, but the second one, the Glass Onion one, I thought was more of a unique plot where it's like, oh, the way he's doing this is just really well done.
[00:31:41]  Yeah.
[00:31:41]  Like the characters, like you said, the scenario through which he gets them there is like all very like the cube and all that.
[00:31:49]  Really well done.
[00:31:49]  Really crazy.
[00:31:50]  HBO mini-series.
[00:31:51]  It was like that Indian kid and like he got in trouble.
[00:31:53]  He got locked up.
[00:31:55]  It was called The Night.
[00:31:56]  Not after night.
[00:31:57]  It was a night.
[00:31:58]  I don't know.
[00:31:58]  But is it like where it was like just twist and turn where you think it was this and then the next episode is like, oh, no, it must be this guy or that type of shit.
[00:32:06]  That's more like rooted in reality.
[00:32:09]  Clue.
[00:32:10]  This is more.
[00:32:11]  Yeah, this is more.
[00:32:14]  It is real.
[00:32:15]  It's Murder in the Oregon Express, Clue.
[00:32:17]  Like, it's.
[00:32:18]  So it's a little silly.
[00:32:20]  Yeah.
[00:32:20]  There's a there's a silliness to it.
[00:32:21]  There's a tongue-in-cheekness to it.
[00:32:23]  Second one more silly, but yeah, first one a little silly as well.
[00:32:26]  All the characters are like, have to be really like flamboyant.
[00:32:30]  Exaggerated so that you understand their motivation immediately.
[00:32:34]  Like the woman who like loves her diamonds is going to be like so diamond out that you're like, oh, she wants the money to buy diamonds.
[00:32:41]  You have to know their motivation to light the game of Clue where it just literally that is what all this is built off.
[00:32:46]  Was Clue the movie based on the game or was it the other way around?
[00:32:49]  It had to be the other way around, right?
[00:32:51]  I don't know.
[00:32:52]  I assume the game is old as hell.
[00:32:53]  Yeah.
[00:32:54]  Because the movie was fucked up.
[00:32:55]  If the movie's based on the game, they knocked it out of the park.
[00:32:58]  It's based on the game.
[00:32:59]  Same with Jumanji.
[00:33:00]  Same.
[00:33:00]  Oh, no, that was the other way around.
[00:33:02]  That was a short story.
[00:33:03]  What was that?
[00:33:04]  That was a short story they made a movie.
[00:33:05]  Jumanji?
[00:33:05]  Yeah, and they knocked it out of the park.
[00:33:06]  It was like a short story.
[00:33:08]  I don't get it.
[00:33:08]  Like, they play a game and then they're in the forest.
[00:33:11]  Yep.
[00:33:12]  Did you knock it out of the park?
[00:33:13]  I literally don't get it.
[00:33:14]  Did you see the movie?
[00:33:15]  I saw the movie.
[00:33:16]  I remember seeing it.
[00:33:16]  Like, this shit sucks.
[00:33:17]  The Robin Williams one or the Robin Williams giant.
[00:33:20]  Oh, the Kevin Hart one's fantastic.
[00:33:21]  That was a fire movie.
[00:33:22]  The Robin Williams one's fantastic.
[00:33:23]  I don't understand what it is.
[00:33:25]  They roll the dice and then they play the game.
[00:33:26]  Then the game, they're in the game.
[00:33:28]  Yeah, it's a cursed game that comes to life.
[00:33:30]  But like, do they go in the game or does the game take over their world?
[00:33:34]  Take over their world.
[00:33:35]  The game takes over their world and the first one's.
[00:33:37]  All these other people are affected by the fact that they're playing this game as well.
[00:33:40]  Yeah, it's like an alternate timeline almost because there is a point where they get out.
[00:33:44]  Like, it's old Robin Williams is the young kid playing.
[00:33:48]  And he's like, oh, fuck.
[00:33:49]  Now you're in here with me.
[00:33:50]  Yeah.
[00:33:52]  So maybe they go or watch the new one with The Rock and Kevin Hart.
[00:33:57]  Hilarious.
[00:33:58]  It's actually really good.
[00:33:59]  And Jack Black fucking kills it.
[00:34:00]  Oh, because he like... Chicken that shit.
[00:34:02]  Yeah.
[00:34:03]  Yeah.
[00:34:04]  It's a little piece.
[00:34:05]  Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[00:34:05]  And then the, so in this one, I think she's in the in the Avengers.
[00:34:08]  She's the blue chick, I think.
[00:34:10]  I think.
[00:34:12]  Not Gamora's sister.
[00:34:13]  You know, like, has a sister.
[00:34:15]  I think it's the same girl, I think.
[00:34:16]  But in the new one, it's a video game and they all go inside the video game and have to beat the video game.
[00:34:21]  And it's great.
[00:34:22]  And like, The Rock is played by, in real life, the character that the guy that becomes The Rock in the video game.
[00:34:27]  He's like this scared pussy.
[00:34:30]  So you're seeing The Rock completely flipped upside.
[00:34:32]  And then the jock football player becomes Kevin Hart.
[00:34:34]  So they like flip everything.
[00:34:36]  And then the hot girl becomes Jack Black.
[00:34:38]  So it's like, it's, and it's great.
[00:34:40]  It's so fun.
[00:34:41]  Watch it.
[00:34:42]  I like these murder mystery movies so much, like White Lotus and shit, that I'm like, I think I would like a murder mystery party.
[00:34:48]  Oh, I did one.
[00:34:48]  Have you?
[00:34:49]  Have you really?
[00:34:50]  Yeah, I did one recently.
[00:34:51]  Is it fun?
[00:34:51]  Have you heard?
[00:34:54]  Like, this is one of those things that I'm like.
[00:34:55]  That was the saddest shit I've ever heard on this podcast.
[00:34:58]  My mom had a heart attack, and that made me sadder.
[00:35:02]  Recently?
[00:35:03]  No, remember, like five years ago.
[00:35:04]  Oh, my God.
[00:35:05]  He's still a kid.
[00:35:05]  This made me sadder.
[00:35:07]  No, it's fun.
[00:35:07]  It was fun social engagement.
[00:35:09]  Okay.
[00:35:10]  It was like a 30-year-old.
[00:35:10]  What was it?
[00:35:11]  What happened?
[00:35:12]  Transplants keep New York going.
[00:35:14]  Seneca.
[00:35:16]  Oma Cardio Paul is trans, bro.
[00:35:19]  Bro, come on.
[00:35:19]  No, I got invited.
[00:35:20]  It was like 300.
[00:35:20]  How many people out there?
[00:35:21]  Was it an escape room out of the murder mystery party?
[00:35:24]  Upper West Side.
[00:35:25]  Jewish 30th birthday.
[00:35:28]  And it was really fun.
[00:35:28]  The two people that put it on have to be committed and they have to be like super flamboyant.
[00:35:32]  It's like flappers, 1920 shit.
[00:35:34]  And the more that they're fun, they're like actors that can't get spots in like Broadway shows.
[00:35:39]  Gay friends, yeah, these are straight, they were all straights, dude.
[00:35:44]  A lot of straights, so confused.
[00:35:46]  Have you heard of this?
[00:35:47]  You know, you go into your boys' house, and there's some bitch with a martini glass and like short heels, and she's like, Welcome, darling.
[00:35:54]  Yes, exactly, exactly.
[00:35:56]  Boy, we have a mystery for you to solve tonight.
[00:35:58]  Yes, and then you get given a card, and then you're that person, and then they give you money.
[00:36:03]  Low game think it might be fun, bro.
[00:36:04]  I don't know.
[00:36:04]  I'm swinging on a big first thing.
[00:36:07]  I'm like, yo, shut the fuck up.
[00:36:09]  That's cute, but come on.
[00:36:10]  Give me a fucking drink turn to be.
[00:36:12]  Shut the fuck up.
[00:36:14]  But how does it go?
[00:36:15]  Like, is it quiet the whole time while people try to solve the mystery?
[00:36:18]  Drinking and talking, and then like the characters play the roles.
[00:36:21]  So, like, there's a guy and a girl, and the guy will come in, and he's this big flamboyant gay, and he'll just like scream like a woman and fall to the ground.
[00:36:28]  So, you're in the middle of this party, and now there's like a gay guy flailing on the ground, and then the woman now knows her role, and she's like, Oh no, someone poisoned his drink.
[00:36:37]  And then the guy like dies, and then he runs out, puts on a different outfit, so now he's another person that, like, they're moving the story along, and you're playing along.
[00:36:44]  This shit might be fire, bro.
[00:36:46]  Go to Brooklyn, bro.
[00:36:48]  Just pay a couple of things.
[00:36:48]  This is the thing you support miles on.
[00:36:50]  It might be fun.
[00:36:51]  This is the thing you support miles on.
[00:36:53]  He's stabbing in the back at every turn.
[00:36:55]  And you support him on murder mystery dentist.
[00:36:57]  So who done it?
[00:36:57]  Look at this.
[00:36:59]  Go watch him play and see some real talent.
[00:37:02]  You've done it every time.
[00:37:03]  You've done it.
[00:37:04]  This is some shit that like I imagine you do because you're like afraid of having political conversations, right?
[00:37:14]  Well, everyone there was Jewish.
[00:37:16]  Yeah, and the Palestinian did it.
[00:37:18]  So it was very funny.
[00:37:19]  It was extremely political.
[00:37:20]  But like, like, that was a quick.
[00:37:22]  If you just, if you're just with your boys, you just talk shit about whatever's happening in the world.
[00:37:26]  Right.
[00:37:26]  You talk about the Algerian box.
[00:37:27]  So you do like, there's no time for murder mystery.
[00:37:29]  We got to get hot takes out.
[00:37:30]  We have a limited amount of time.
[00:37:32]  We need hot takes.
[00:37:33]  So I imagine this is an environment where it's like, oh, the hot takes is going to make this thing devolve into a problem and people are going to be offended.
[00:37:40]  And somebody's going to say, oh, you're privileged and shut up.
[00:37:43]  So we just ignore it.
[00:37:45]  It's the first date where you don't have to just have conversation where it's a little bit like maybe too intimate and this gives you something to do to distract you and then you can warm up to each other in the meantime.
[00:37:53]  I get that logic 100%.
[00:37:55]  Or be the person showing it and you're socially awkward and you want a reason not to actually have to make conversation with people, but you have a script that you go off and you're just performing the entire time.
[00:38:04]  Yeah.
[00:38:04]  That's probably what that should like.
[00:38:06]  All the performers don't really have to engage and have a regular combo.
[00:38:10]  They just have a nice script that they get to stick to and that's their entire night.
[00:38:13]  And then this shit is crazy.
[00:38:16]  All right, guys, let's take a break for a second.
[00:38:17]  Listen, maybe some of you have experienced runner's high.
[00:38:20]  You've experienced being in the flow state, if you will.
[00:38:23]  There is a way to induce these feelings, these sensations that lock us in, and that is with ketone IQ.

=== Inducing Flow With Ketones (02:58) ===

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[00:38:36]  Because what it's going to do, it's going to suppress that hunger that you have in between meals with the snacks, but it's going to give you that energy of focus that you need.
[00:38:46]  You don't want to be out there in the world starving and then trying to actually do things that require your brain.
[00:38:51]  Okay.
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[00:39:42]  All right, guys, we're going to take a break real quick because I got to tell you about 8 Sleep.
[00:39:46]  At this point, I'm sure you've heard about their buzzworthy sleep technology called the pod.
[00:39:50]  Here's the cool thing about the pod: if you have a mattress you already like, like I do, you don't have to buy a new mattress.
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[00:40:05]  Guys, I wake up hot all the time.
[00:40:07]  This is a real problem.
[00:40:08]  The cool, the pod, though, cools things down so I can sleep through the night uninterrupted.
[00:40:12]  Because for me, that's the hardest thing.
[00:40:13]  If I wake up, going back to bed, hard as shit.
[00:40:16]  And now the pod just got an upgrade.
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[00:40:39]  The pod can detect your snoring, automatically lift your head by a few degrees to improve the airflow and stop you or your partner snoring.
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[00:41:04]  Just add it easily on any bed.
[00:41:05]  So head to 8sleep.com/slash flagrant and use the code flagrant to get $350 off Pod 4 Ultra.
[00:41:13]  Again, that is 8Sleep.com/slash Flagrant and use the code Flagrant to get $350 off Pod 4 Ultra.
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[00:41:26]  Guys, let's get back to the show now.
[00:41:27]  You ever played Werewolf or Mafia, the car game?

=== 8 Sleep Pod Discount Code (12:45) ===

[00:41:30]  I played that once in India.
[00:41:31]  And it was fun.
[00:41:33]  It's fun.
[00:41:34]  I was wrong as fuck.
[00:41:35]  I was convinced everybody.
[00:41:36]  This is the greatest game ever, bro.
[00:41:38]  So basically, you sit in a circle of people, everyone gets a card, and it says you're like a citizen, you're a watch person, or you're the killer.
[00:41:44]  So it's like a kindergarten game type shit.
[00:41:46]  Okay.
[00:41:47]  Like you don't play it as an adult.
[00:41:48]  No, you can play it.
[00:41:49]  Yeah, you don't.
[00:41:49]  You played an Indian.
[00:41:50]  Yeah, I'm already out.
[00:41:52]  You can be at a table.
[00:41:53]  You can be at a table.
[00:41:54]  You can set it on a table.
[00:41:54]  All right, go on, go on, go on.
[00:41:56]  And then basically, everyone, everyone.
[00:41:58]  That was so annoying.
[00:42:00]  Get into the fucking game.
[00:42:02]  On the ground?
[00:42:04]  You ain't sitting on the ground.
[00:42:06]  We played on couches.
[00:42:07]  I was on the couch.
[00:42:09]  There you're just sitting.
[00:42:10]  Yeah.
[00:42:11]  It's an old Indian folklore game.
[00:42:13]  It's fun.
[00:42:13]  Because everyone puts their heads down and then the watch people put their heads up and then they can't talk the whole game or some shit.
[00:42:19]  I can't remember the exact rules.
[00:42:20]  But then basically, you got to figure out every round like who the killer is.
[00:42:24]  And the killer kills someone every round.
[00:42:25]  And if the killers win, then they win the whole game.
[00:42:27]  And then if the citizens win, they win by telling the people who the killers are.
[00:42:31]  But like they could pick the wrong person to be a killer and then they get kicked out.
[00:42:34]  Not played once it was actually fun.
[00:42:35]  This shit is fire.
[00:42:36]  But then it's just a small group and you're all interacting with each other.
[00:42:39]  Exactly.
[00:42:39]  And we're not having to like play roles or you're just talking shit, arguing, being like, nah, that's why this motherfucker is the guy.
[00:42:45]  Just drink.
[00:42:46]  Yeah.
[00:42:47]  Yeah.
[00:42:47]  If you want to play a game, do just drink taboo or some shit like that.
[00:42:50]  If you really want to get a game going, come on.
[00:42:54]  That's music.
[00:42:56]  Taboo's that's the game.
[00:42:57]  Like you have to like fucking game and try to make them figure it out.
[00:43:01]  You're a dumbest.
[00:43:02]  No, taboo's lit, but that's gayer.
[00:43:05]  It's called taboo.
[00:43:06]  You're talking about scategories.
[00:43:08]  Or charades or some shit like that.
[00:43:10]  Gay, gay or gayest.
[00:43:11]  Categories.
[00:43:12]  Gay, gay, or gayest.
[00:43:14]  I mean, what's categories?
[00:43:15]  I don't know.
[00:43:16]  Now I don't know what the fuck I'm saying.
[00:43:17]  This is the shit you do at family reunion so your parents don't fight.
[00:43:20]  Yeah.
[00:43:20]  You're talking about charades.
[00:43:21]  Charades.
[00:43:23]  What's scattering?
[00:43:24]  That's an easy ass game.
[00:43:26]  That's Dan Bilzerians.
[00:43:27]  Categories are similar.
[00:43:28]  It's just a more like structured version of it.
[00:43:31]  Drosh it out.
[00:43:31]  Taboo is you got the word, and then you got to guess what the word is, but I can't say it like somebody else.
[00:43:38]  I like that Al earlier said that's a kid's game, and then goes, No, I love taboo.
[00:43:42]  That's for seven-year-olds.
[00:43:43]  Taboo gets kind of crazy.
[00:43:45]  If you ought to sauce, like that shit gets competitive, motherfuckers go in.
[00:43:48]  What's that one where you hold the phone up to your head?
[00:43:52]  That shit is fire.
[00:43:52]  Those are good games.
[00:43:53]  That's fine when it's like you're competing boys versus girls.
[00:43:58]  The same way how you're doing.
[00:43:59]  How taboo is it?
[00:44:00]  Interplayed against your wife, and then you're telling me that.
[00:44:03]  Boys versus girls is fire for that.
[00:44:06]  Taboo is the same way.
[00:44:07]  That's always democracy.
[00:44:09]  You know what I'm saying?
[00:44:10]  You can make anything fun, boys versus girls.
[00:44:13]  Sitting here 40 years old.
[00:44:15]  Yo, let's play boys versus girls.
[00:44:19]  You're dead serious.
[00:44:22]  Dead serious.
[00:44:23]  You can make anything interesting.
[00:44:25]  Taboo's wife.
[00:44:26]  Boys versus girls.
[00:44:30]  You'll see where we can't get loaded.
[00:44:33]  Shuffle boards.
[00:44:34]  Boys versus girls, fire.
[00:44:36]  Sentence.
[00:44:36]  These girls can't shuffle no boards.
[00:44:41]  So guys will say one clue that has nothing to do with Vic, and we just get it.
[00:44:45]  We just know boards.
[00:44:46]  Facts.
[00:44:48]  Boom.
[00:44:50]  They do argue.
[00:44:51]  They do argue too much.
[00:44:52]  The race is fire.
[00:44:53]  Those little games are fun.
[00:44:54]  That's why I'm like, a murder mystery is just an organized game.
[00:44:57]  It's just the being in character.
[00:44:59]  I don't think you have to be a character.
[00:45:00]  It's too theatrical.
[00:45:01]  You just sort of dress up.
[00:45:02]  You're a fool theater guy.
[00:45:03]  Like, you want to be in the theater kid?
[00:45:04]  Exactly.
[00:45:05]  That's why you love this.
[00:45:06]  You want to be in community.
[00:45:07]  Mark's biggest dream is to be in community theater, I think.
[00:45:11]  Not even broad community theater.
[00:45:14]  That was crazy.
[00:45:15]  That was crazy.
[00:45:16]  That was fucking insane.
[00:45:19]  New chip.
[00:45:23]  Mark is going to have Facebook to the garden.
[00:45:25]  And then his friends are going to be like, hey, there's a play in Orlando.
[00:45:28]  If you want to go be a players theater.
[00:45:30]  George in the jungle.
[00:45:31]  I can be handed.
[00:45:32]  Mark is like, I got the hair.
[00:45:34]  How'd you go do this?
[00:45:36]  Bro, my grandma was in community theater.
[00:45:39]  She did that for a while.
[00:45:40]  Really?
[00:45:41]  Yeah.
[00:45:41]  What was the role?
[00:45:43]  Come on now.
[00:45:45]  What was the role?
[00:45:47]  What was the role?
[00:45:47]  She played Scarlet Letter.
[00:45:49]  No way.
[00:45:49]  She was Hester Prim.
[00:45:51]  I thought she was Debbie Does Dallas.
[00:45:57]  You know who that is?
[00:45:59]  From the role of that?
[00:46:00]  What is that?
[00:46:01]  Musical?
[00:46:01]  Yeah.
[00:46:02]  There's some music.
[00:46:03]  Oh, yeah.
[00:46:04]  Background.
[00:46:05]  Oh, my God.
[00:46:08]  So funny.
[00:46:11]  You would love like Shakespeare.
[00:46:13]  What's the one that you're talking about?
[00:46:13]  You're a part of.
[00:46:14]  No, the one that it's interactive with.
[00:46:16]  Yeah, I went to that shit.
[00:46:17]  Sleep No More?
[00:46:18]  Yeah.
[00:46:18]  Sleep No More.
[00:46:19]  That shit love.
[00:46:20]  Yeah, I've heard it sick.
[00:46:20]  That shit's fire.
[00:46:21]  Did you like it?
[00:46:22]  Love you like that gay shit.
[00:46:23]  He loved it.
[00:46:24]  He loved it.
[00:46:25]  When I tell you he loved it, he was like, yo, this is crazy.
[00:46:29]  Can I tell you what I didn't like about it?
[00:46:33]  You could do whatever you want, but it all leads you to the same shit.
[00:46:37]  I'm like, I'm trying to find the other killer.
[00:46:41]  I'm not trying to find.
[00:46:43]  Don't tell me I could go wherever I want, but all the doors start closing and leading me to the same place.
[00:46:47]  Tell me there's one way to get there.
[00:46:49]  I'm following this one bitch around.
[00:46:51]  She don't even work there.
[00:46:54]  I'm like, this bitch did it.
[00:46:55]  I know she did it.
[00:46:56]  I'm following her.
[00:46:57]  She don't even work there.
[00:46:58]  This bitch looking for security.
[00:46:59]  He's like, yo, this guy keeps it.
[00:47:02]  She's getting nervous.
[00:47:03]  This shit girl's getting nervous.
[00:47:05]  Chinese lady with a selfie stick.
[00:47:07]  Yep.
[00:47:08]  Yup, she's on it.
[00:47:09]  Oh, she's filming.
[00:47:10]  Uh-huh.
[00:47:12]  I went to that sleep no more shit.
[00:47:13]  It's the worst short stick I ever heard.
[00:47:15]  Say whatever you can do wherever you want.
[00:47:16]  You can't fuck them.
[00:47:19]  What?
[00:47:19]  No, you can't.
[00:47:21]  You can't.
[00:47:21]  I was trying to get some pussy in there, though.
[00:47:24]  I think I went with my wife.
[00:47:26]  I think I did.
[00:47:27]  I'm almost positive I did.
[00:47:29]  I'm almost positive I did.
[00:47:31]  That shit is fire.
[00:47:32]  That's my point.
[00:47:32]  No, it wasn't fire.
[00:47:33]  It was, bro.
[00:47:34]  Did you do it?
[00:47:35]  Never.
[00:47:35]  Did you do it?
[00:47:36]  Nah.
[00:47:37]  I did it.
[00:47:38]  D game for that shit.
[00:47:39]  Yeah, you're so fucking good for me.
[00:47:41]  You fucking hot.
[00:47:43]  All right, so no.
[00:47:44]  Can you bring it to Shorty there?
[00:47:45]  You got a pass.
[00:47:46]  He would confuse me.
[00:47:47]  He would show up with the boys, bro.
[00:47:49]  I know he would.
[00:47:50]  We got a group with the boys.
[00:47:52]  I'm going alone.
[00:47:52]  I'm going alone.
[00:47:53]  Be Miles, Mark, and Lucas tranny hunting.
[00:47:56]  Sleep no more.
[00:47:59]  We all got to sleep no more, bro.
[00:48:00]  That's going to be awesome.
[00:48:02]  Oh, my God.
[00:48:04]  Nah, for real, though, that shit is whack.
[00:48:07]  Bro, you went to that?
[00:48:09]  I went to it.
[00:48:10]  Followed around every actor, actress.
[00:48:13]  Got no pussy.
[00:48:14]  I got none.
[00:48:15]  Wack, bro.
[00:48:16]  Wag.
[00:48:16]  You just walk around.
[00:48:18]  I lost the story because I'm trying to find another story.
[00:48:21]  So I didn't even know what the fuck was going on in this shit.
[00:48:23]  And then we get to the final point, and then somebody kills somebody.
[00:48:26]  I don't even know who it was.
[00:48:27]  And I was like, yo, yeah, come on.
[00:48:28]  This dick ain't going to suck on itself.
[00:48:32]  I don't think I was with my wife.
[00:48:33]  I don't think that.
[00:48:36]  If I was, I definitely wasn't thinking that.
[00:48:38]  If I wasn't, I was like, I'm the luckiest guy in the world to be solving mysteries with my baby.
[00:48:44]  You want to assault our mysteries with your baby.
[00:48:46]  And hopefully this dick can suck itself.
[00:48:48]  And hopefully, hopefully.
[00:48:49]  But I wouldn't even put that in the world.
[00:48:52]  You know?
[00:48:53]  I think the corniest thing I did, I went to one of those blindfolds.
[00:49:00]  I know you was like, come on.
[00:49:06]  I know.
[00:49:08]  I know it.
[00:49:14]  Come on, man.
[00:49:16]  Come on, Al.
[00:49:17]  That was the corniest shit.
[00:49:18]  You didn't have a gag on it.
[00:49:19]  Come on.
[00:49:21]  Take that shit down.
[00:49:22]  Come on now.
[00:49:23]  But one of those blindfold dinners.
[00:49:25]  Oh, you did that.
[00:49:27]  I did that stupid shit.
[00:49:28]  Yeah.
[00:49:29]  What?
[00:49:29]  It's a blindfold dinner.
[00:49:30]  So it's like pre-made menu.
[00:49:32]  You don't know what you're going to eat.
[00:49:33]  You're blindfolded the whole time.
[00:49:34]  What if someone puts some weird shit on the place?
[00:49:36]  Me and thinking what we all thinking.
[00:49:42]  How dare you think what we all thinking exactly out loud?
[00:49:45]  That's crazy.
[00:49:45]  That food was so trash.
[00:49:47]  Really?
[00:49:47]  Yeah, it was trash.
[00:49:48]  No way.
[00:49:49]  That shit is so dumb.
[00:49:50]  And they market it like it's this pretentious experience.
[00:49:53]  Like, let your taste buds take over.
[00:49:57]  Eliminate your eyes from influencing what you're going to consume.
[00:50:02]  I hate eating in the dark.
[00:50:03]  Oh, food we're not allowed to see?
[00:50:04]  I'm out.
[00:50:05]  I'm out.
[00:50:06]  What kind of thing is that?
[00:50:08]  Yeah, that's just dumb.
[00:50:10]  For sure, it's just like Chef Buarty.
[00:50:13]  It was really basic shit.
[00:50:14]  And how much was it?
[00:50:16]  It was like, I think $150 a person or some shit like that.
[00:50:18]  And whose idea was it?
[00:50:19]  It was Shorty.
[00:50:20]  Yeah.
[00:50:21]  I got some pussy, though.
[00:50:24]  Blindfolded up.
[00:50:25]  Come on, Todd.
[00:50:26]  Blindfolded.
[00:50:26]  I mean, she's blindfolded.
[00:50:28]  Did you?
[00:50:30]  No, I got some.
[00:50:30]  I got some pussy.
[00:50:31]  I ain't blindfolded though.
[00:50:33]  We had enough of that blindfolded shit after that.
[00:50:35]  It was like, let's see.
[00:50:36]  What is it?
[00:50:37]  I actually left before dessert came.
[00:50:39]  It's like, I ain't doing this shit no more.
[00:50:41]  Like, we out.
[00:50:41]  Because the food just sucked.
[00:50:42]  Wow.
[00:50:43]  Y'all blindfolded tonight.
[00:50:45]  Hey, you want to be out?
[00:50:46]  It just sucked.
[00:50:47]  Crashing the tables on the way out.
[00:50:49]  Still blindfolding.
[00:50:50]  That's wild.
[00:50:51]  I'm trying to think of like good.
[00:50:52]  What is like, I mean, Broadway's fire.
[00:50:55]  Yeah, that's just like it is.
[00:50:56]  It is fire.
[00:50:56]  Yeah, bro.
[00:50:57]  I saw Wicked and I was, I was like, this is actually fantastic.
[00:51:00]  Yeah, I saw that one that the South Park dudes did.
[00:51:03]  Oh, that shit was a marmazzie.
[00:51:05]  I even saw a spam a lot.
[00:51:06]  I saw the dude taking down an Ariana Grande.
[00:51:08]  How was it?
[00:51:09]  And I was like, he's great.
[00:51:10]  I was like, good for him.
[00:51:12]  He's so bothered by this guy.
[00:51:13]  He went to Hatewash.
[00:51:16]  I've been following around the country.
[00:51:18]  I've been following around the country.
[00:51:20]  I saw the little table at the end of the show.
[00:51:22]  When he steps up, he's like, bro, just a character.
[00:51:27]  Just a character.
[00:51:28]  He's all going, did you see this?
[00:51:30]  This has been years.
[00:51:31]  We talked about this guy for months.
[00:51:32]  For years, I feel four months ago.
[00:51:35]  Probably four months ago, I saw it.
[00:51:37]  So, all right, he snatches up Ariana Grande, and then you immediately go watch the play.
[00:51:42]  Yeah, I bring Alicia's whole family.
[00:51:43]  My girl's whole family's like coming to town.
[00:51:45]  I was like, Yeah, let's go watch.
[00:51:46]  And then afterwards, I was just poisoning the oil.
[00:51:48]  I was like, Who sucked the most?
[00:51:50]  Ariana?
[00:51:51]  Don't say how dare you that.
[00:51:53]  And then you asked how he came out normal.
[00:51:55]  Like, fully normal.
[00:51:56]  He ain't fully normal.
[00:51:57]  You ever seen Steven watching a Broglie show?
[00:52:00]  Is he homophobic?
[00:52:01]  No, I just only one of them.
[00:52:02]  Was he talented, the kid, at least?
[00:52:04]  Remarkably talented.
[00:52:05]  Wait, really?
[00:52:06]  He played three characters.
[00:52:07]  No way.
[00:52:08]  That's lit.
[00:52:09]  It's unbelievable.
[00:52:10]  And he sings as well.
[00:52:11]  He's a great singer.
[00:52:11]  Yeah, he got it.
[00:52:12]  Wow.
[00:52:12]  Comedic relief.
[00:52:13]  He was the funniest guy in the show.
[00:52:14]  No way.
[00:52:15]  Damn.
[00:52:16]  That hired a little.
[00:52:17]  Yeah, that had a sting, huh?
[00:52:18]  All right, so she got good taste then.
[00:52:19]  Yeah, that's good.
[00:52:20]  Yeah.
[00:52:21]  Yeah.
[00:52:22]  You can't look like what was his stature like?
[00:52:25]  How is his stature?
[00:52:26]  Because I feel like we judge him based on his stature.
[00:52:28]  He was lean.
[00:52:29]  Yeah.
[00:52:29]  He's lean.
[00:52:31]  Big dick.
[00:52:32]  He was in tights.
[00:52:33]  He wasn't.
[00:52:33]  He did have tights on.
[00:52:34]  Did he have his dick showing?
[00:52:35]  He has a small print.
[00:52:36]  Yeah.
[00:52:37]  Does he?
[00:52:37]  Yeah, he had a print.
[00:52:38]  And I was in the rafters.
[00:52:39]  I was in the nosebleeds, broke ass.
[00:52:41]  Watching his dick.
[00:52:43]  My bitch ass in the rafters.
[00:52:48]  Oh, my God.
[00:52:49]  If he would come out and sing, I'd be like, yo, y'all can go to the bathroom.
[00:52:51]  That's going to happen.
[00:52:52]  You took his whole family to the nosebleeds.
[00:52:56]  They got the tickets.
[00:52:57]  They're like, we're going to go.
[00:52:57]  Oh, they chose Spam a lot.
[00:52:59]  Yeah.
[00:53:00]  Wow.
[00:53:00]  Yeah.
[00:53:01]  But I would have got nosebleeds.
[00:53:02]  I'm not.
[00:53:03]  Come on.
[00:53:04]  It's eight people.
[00:53:06]  We don't need to be familiar.
[00:53:07]  We don't need to be front row for spam a lot.
[00:53:09]  Yeah.
[00:53:09]  What would you be front row for Broadway?
[00:53:12]  Realistically, I would want to see Wicked front row.
[00:53:14]  I see.
[00:53:14]  I saw Hamilton basically front row.
[00:53:16]  That shit was awesome.
[00:53:17]  Hamilton's fire.
[00:53:18]  Yeah.
[00:53:19]  Like a banger.
[00:53:20]  Lion King is actually good.
[00:53:21]  I did not think it was great.
[00:53:23]  Lion King was great.
[00:53:24]  Lion King's awesome.
[00:53:25]  Yeah.
[00:53:25]  I used to love Broadway.
[00:53:26]  I used to go all the time.
[00:53:27]  I haven't gone in a minute.
[00:53:28]  Ever since you start painting your nails, you stop going.
[00:53:30]  Broadway got to go.
[00:53:34]  Yeah.
[00:53:34]  All right.
[00:53:35]  So then Broadway fire, comedy, fire.
[00:53:38]  Like, I'm talking the objective fun nights in New York for entertainment.
[00:53:43]  Jazz.
[00:53:44]  Jazz is fun.
[00:53:45]  Are you?
[00:53:46]  I need to go to like good jazz.
[00:53:47]  Yeah, if you go to a good jazz show, it's fun.
[00:53:49]  What's the idea?
[00:53:50]  They just are like riffing.
[00:53:52]  They play good music.
[00:53:52]  They riff.
[00:53:53]  The food is solid.
[00:53:54]  You just go.
[00:53:54]  It's a nice time.
[00:53:55]  Couple hours.
[00:53:56]  I'm talking about fun.
[00:53:57]  It's enjoyable.
[00:53:58]  You know, it's not fun.
[00:53:59]  There's a place Minton's in Harlem.
[00:54:01]  Alice wouldn't know about it.
[00:54:02]  It's great.
[00:54:03]  It's one of the original jazz.
[00:54:04]  It's like Grateful Dead for Black People.
[00:54:07]  Okay.
[00:54:08]  Yeah, it's a Jam Band.
[00:54:10]  You know what I did?
[00:54:11]  This is like.
[00:54:11]  It's impressive.
[00:54:12]  You know what's fun?
[00:54:12]  It's my presby.
[00:54:14]  Dueling pianos.

=== Jazz Shows And Good Food (06:09) ===

[00:54:15]  Oh, that's my kid.
[00:54:16]  That's okay.
[00:54:17]  That's white people's jazz.
[00:54:19]  Not if you're in New York, but if you're in like Nashville, if you're in like some like country place, dueling pianos.
[00:54:26]  That shit is going to be lit.
[00:54:29]  If you're at like a casino, for whatever reason, they have dueling pianos.
[00:54:32]  That's always crazy.
[00:54:33]  It's like white people's strip club in that like they just start throwing money to get this.
[00:54:39]  Oh, really?
[00:54:39]  Whoever tips more, then the last person gets to cut off the song.
[00:54:43]  For real.
[00:54:43]  Yeah.
[00:54:44]  I was black out in Asheville, North Carolina.
[00:54:49]  I spent hundreds of dollars at dueling piano.
[00:54:53]  Just trying to get songs coming.
[00:54:55]  Great ball fire again.
[00:54:56]  Come on, cutting people off and shit.
[00:54:58]  And my boys are like coming over, like, yo, you gotta stop.
[00:55:01]  Play YG My He lied.
[00:55:04]  It was my boy's bachelor party.
[00:55:06]  Like, I'm doing lies to get other songs cut off.
[00:55:09]  It was that sick.
[00:55:10]  Wait, so you get songs cut off by tipping?
[00:55:13]  Yeah.
[00:55:14]  So you got a tip to get the song.
[00:55:16]  Okay.
[00:55:16]  And then if you want to end that song, you tip even more to the other piano.
[00:55:21]  There's two pianos.
[00:55:22]  Oh, okay.
[00:55:22]  So you tip the other guy to get him to stop, and then you took the pianos to play the same song.
[00:55:27]  Crazy look, then, huh?
[00:55:28]  Those guys are made a bunch of these white books over there.
[00:55:32]  That's crazy.
[00:55:33]  Yeah, miles out of ATM hammered blackouts.
[00:55:35]  Just get one.
[00:55:36]  Truly, like you're going to strip club.
[00:55:38]  Yeah, I don't even call it.
[00:55:39]  I usually like to say tips of ads, but that's cool.
[00:55:42]  All right, guys, we're going to take a break real quick because I got to tell you again about Morgan and Morgan.
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[00:57:29]  Are ATMs done?
[00:57:31]  No, I went to one.
[00:57:33]  Yo, sometimes.
[00:57:39]  ATMs are done, I think.
[00:57:41]  ATMs are done, right?
[00:57:41]  You just have your account and why you're $100,000.
[00:57:45]  That's what we do now, right?
[00:57:46]  I think ATMs are done, though.
[00:57:49]  I think ATMs are going through their payphone phase right now.
[00:57:54]  I think ATMs are going through their payphone phase.
[00:57:56]  What if you go to a cash-only restaurant?
[00:57:58]  What if you go to a cash-only restaurant?
[00:58:01]  I think those are done.
[00:58:03]  I think those are kind of done.
[00:58:06]  I think, hey, whatever.
[00:58:07]  I think those are done.
[00:58:08]  He will be right eventually.
[00:58:10]  Frankies.
[00:58:10]  Eventually, he will be right, but they're not done yet.
[00:58:13]  He's going to be in the group chat.
[00:58:14]  We are going cashless eventually.
[00:58:15]  Yeah, that's what I'm saying.
[00:58:17]  That's what I'm about.
[00:58:19]  That's really what I'm about.
[00:58:20]  Show to the next row.
[00:58:21]  Is what I'm about.
[00:58:23]  But aren't they done though?
[00:58:25]  Because think about it.
[00:58:26]  Like, if that was your business to have like an ATM machine, that's all we did back in the day.
[00:58:30]  You had to pay your boy back.
[00:58:31]  You had to hit the ATM.
[00:58:32]  But now that they're done, what are you doing?
[00:58:37]  The ADHD is unbeatable.
[00:58:38]  It's unbeatable.
[00:58:40]  It's unbeatable.
[00:58:41]  AI is unbelievable.
[00:58:42]  It is.
[00:58:43]  Also, think about the business.
[00:58:45]  There are people who've been in the ATM business probably for decades as family business.
[00:58:49]  Family generations.
[00:58:50]  Those people are broke.
[00:58:52]  Who the fuck got ATM beside some Dominican guy in Washington Heights and his bodega?
[00:58:57]  I don't even know where ATM is.
[00:58:59]  I mean, the strip club, the ATM, they do good.
[00:59:01]  Yeah, those are doing all right.
[00:59:02]  They upcharge crazy.
[00:59:03]  No, you're right about that one.
[00:59:04]  Casino ATM, casino ATM.
[00:59:07]  They can make money.
[00:59:08]  People going broke, they need it.
[00:59:09]  Now, you're right.
[00:59:10]  There's a couple of little ATM situations.
[00:59:12]  I will say though, bodegas now, everybody takes Apple Pay pretty much.
[00:59:15]  Yeah, so yo, credit cards?
[00:59:18]  Credit cards are done.
[00:59:19]  Credit cards?
[00:59:19]  Credit cards are done.
[00:59:20]  Credit cards are done.
[00:59:21]  Low-key, they're done.
[00:59:24]  How often are you taking out your credit card and booping?
[00:59:27]  Almost never.
[00:59:28]  Five times a day, no, you go, yeah, yeah.
[00:59:30]  I do Apple Pay for everything, you know, all the time, Apple Pay.
[00:59:34]  That's a great, like a nice any restaurant, they're not coming to you.
[00:59:38]  Do you think your phone likes looking at your face more?
[00:59:41]  Like, like when you face it, you got a little pretty ass eyes and shit.
[00:59:46]  Do you think sometimes you get a little discount?
[00:59:47]  Like, like, do you try to flirty?
[00:59:51]  It's crazy.
[00:59:52]  Like, how do you even think?
[00:59:54]  He just looked at his boy's eyes and was like, Yo, your eyes are like your eyes are.
[00:59:58]  I'm like, Yo, you get 10% off, you cute-ass little motherfucker.
[01:00:01]  Hey, your teeth are looking fantastic.
[01:00:03]  No, but for real, though.
[01:00:07]  But that is a good question.
[01:00:08]  That is a good question.
[01:00:08]  Our ATM is done.
[01:00:11]  Y'all really haven't answered yet.
[01:00:12]  Have they been significantly reduced?
[01:00:14]  Can we say that?
[01:00:15]  I haven't seen it.
[01:00:16]  I would say that.
[01:00:17]  Yeah, I don't know if I've seen less ATMs, though.
[01:00:19]  I don't know.
[01:00:20]  Really?
[01:00:20]  They're still in every single deli.
[01:00:22]  Really?

=== ATM Risks In Delis (15:03) ===

[01:00:25]  And they're risky.
[01:00:26]  People get robbed at ATMs and shit.
[01:00:27]  That's the thing.
[01:00:28]  Yeah.
[01:00:29]  You need a passcode.
[01:00:30]  Yeah, who remembers that?
[01:00:32]  Do you use your credit cards or do you have them all attached to your iPhone?
[01:00:36]  If you go to a religious thing and you need to give cash for whatever, then the collection plate or Monday, they just have like at each statue you can put.
[01:00:45]  You can't Venmo them?
[01:00:46]  They're losing money on that.
[01:00:48]  I know.
[01:00:48]  No, some churches do that.
[01:00:49]  They have a little square reader in the thing.
[01:00:51]  They need to do that.
[01:00:51]  And more wide establishments.
[01:00:53]  Yeah.
[01:00:54]  QR codes and shit.
[01:00:55]  Yeah.
[01:00:56]  Or like Schultz, you drop all the spot pay into the thing when it comes around.
[01:00:59]  Damn, they got the church.
[01:01:01]  Has to be calling you, be like, hey, you want to come?
[01:01:03]  You know, we got a kid.
[01:01:04]  They're trying to baptize.
[01:01:06]  They're trying to boom.
[01:01:08]  Are you going to do that?
[01:01:09]  Probably.
[01:01:09]  Emma wants to do it.
[01:01:11]  Which church?
[01:01:13]  Greek Orthodox?
[01:01:14]  Probably, yeah.
[01:01:15]  Russian Orthodox.
[01:01:16]  There's a Jesus one.
[01:01:17]  Nah, but does it matter?
[01:01:18]  The sec.
[01:01:20]  Oh, no.
[01:01:21]  I don't know.
[01:01:21]  I should ask no.
[01:01:22]  Not to her.
[01:01:23]  No, I think the one that she goes to is non-denominational.
[01:01:26]  You got to be careful, but Russian Orthodox.
[01:01:28]  I know they've been putting in a good bid to get you.
[01:01:30]  Yeah.
[01:01:30]  They do full dunk, I think, for the babies.
[01:01:32]  Oh, we'd be dunking our baby.
[01:01:34]  A full dunk?
[01:01:34]  Yeah, we full dunk.
[01:01:35]  You should do full dunk.
[01:01:36]  Why would you not do full dunk?
[01:01:37]  That cats, you just criss in the head.
[01:01:38]  You just take a little bit and just go, they do corny shit.
[01:01:40]  No, that's not.
[01:01:41]  That's not easy.
[01:01:41]  You want to do full dunk for your baby?
[01:01:43]  Are you about God or not?
[01:01:45]  Yeah, they're not warm.
[01:01:46]  I don't know.
[01:01:47]  They're about to see God.
[01:01:48]  They're about to see.
[01:01:48]  Look, we dunk her already now in the water.
[01:01:52]  Like a swim class?
[01:01:53]  Yeah.
[01:01:54]  Because part of you got to teach them to close their mouth and eyes.
[01:01:56]  Yeah.
[01:02:00]  Whoa, What the fuck is that?
[01:02:03]  What the fuck is going on, dude?
[01:02:05]  What the fuck was that?
[01:02:09]  That's a little aggressive.
[01:02:11]  What the fuck is going on?
[01:02:12]  That is a little bit of a song.
[01:02:15]  It's Brandy Orton.
[01:02:17]  I mean, this is crazy.
[01:02:18]  Nah, you gotta go to the bathroom.
[01:02:20]  You gotta go to a black church, bro.
[01:02:21]  Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[01:02:22]  Go to a lake real quick.
[01:02:23]  You know, take a little drop.
[01:02:25]  Black church, you just be like, boop.
[01:02:28]  They're like, yo, how tall is this water?
[01:02:30]  We good?
[01:02:30]  3P?
[01:02:32]  We good, we good.
[01:02:33]  This is crazy, dog.
[01:02:34]  That's what I'm saying.
[01:02:35]  Thank you.
[01:02:36]  And you all say we abuse children.
[01:02:37]  Come on.
[01:02:37]  That's awesome.
[01:02:38]  Son, that's you guys shaking baby syndrome like that.
[01:02:41]  Yeah, that is wild.
[01:02:42]  Yeah, so I'm just saying baptism was invented so you they were clean for you to rape them.
[01:02:50]  Babies, bro, come on.
[01:02:52]  That's all that's actually.
[01:02:56]  Y'all was doing it.
[01:02:57]  The babies do it.
[01:02:58]  What is Peter Thiel on Rogan?
[01:03:01]  Said 80% of Jews are Catholic.
[01:03:07]  No, 80% of cardinals are gay.
[01:03:09]  You can't become a cardinal if you're not gay.
[01:03:10]  Oh, yeah, my mom believes that.
[01:03:11]  Then why isn't it 100%?
[01:03:13]  Well, some of them lie about being gay to become a cardinal.
[01:03:17]  That's wild.
[01:03:18]  Wait, does your mom really believe that?
[01:03:20]  I mean, more or less.
[01:03:21]  She's never said that fact, but she's like, yeah, the whole church is overrun by gays and pedophiles.
[01:03:25]  So how is she still down with the get-down?
[01:03:27]  Because she's like, constitution is right, but it's been infiltrated by evildoers and Satan.
[01:03:31]  So she got to get the motherfuckers out of there.
[01:03:32]  Exactly.
[01:03:33]  She's trying to take down the nair duels with her Facebook posts.
[01:03:43]  You don't think she's fighting the good one?
[01:03:45]  What?
[01:03:47]  Hey, I know.
[01:03:49]  You got fantastic.
[01:03:51]  You only developed that shit growing up with seven siblings.
[01:03:53]  Because you got limited time to come back.
[01:03:55]  Just boom.
[01:03:56]  He's sharp and to the point.
[01:03:59]  Whoa, I like that.
[01:04:00]  A crow fly.
[01:04:01]  That shit is good.
[01:04:02]  That was good.
[01:04:03]  He turned the near duel to a Facebook post.
[01:04:06]  Woo!
[01:04:07]  That was good.
[01:04:08]  Goodness gracious.
[01:04:09]  No fab.
[01:04:10]  That's how she does it.
[01:04:10]  Her Facebook is just bars.
[01:04:12]  What's your mom's feeling on no fab?
[01:04:15]  She probably was.
[01:04:16]  She loves it.
[01:04:16]  Yeah.
[01:04:17]  But not for too long because then you get gay and you fuck kids.
[01:04:20]  That's fact.
[01:04:20]  Whoa, whoa, whoa.
[01:04:21]  What's that?
[01:04:22]  That's fact.
[01:04:22]  No fab is a social movement where men try not to masturbate.
[01:04:25]  Yeah.
[01:04:26]  Oh.
[01:04:27]  But I assume coming in general, right?
[01:04:29]  Yeah, in general.
[01:04:30]  I mean, there's different problems.
[01:04:34]  They just try and not jerk off.
[01:04:35]  They say they're losing their masculinity, losing their power.
[01:04:38]  They don't have sex.
[01:04:39]  Say what?
[01:04:39]  The only time they can nut is when they have sex.
[01:04:41]  And basically, having that extra like testosterone and energy in your system is going to make you go out there and get the sales.
[01:04:50]  I got to save minds.
[01:04:52]  I don't really fapped.
[01:04:53]  You reach an age where you just no fab.
[01:04:55]  I started this movie.
[01:04:58]  I fapped the other day, though.
[01:04:59]  I ain't going to lie.
[01:05:01]  I get fapped the other day.
[01:05:04]  How was it?
[01:05:05]  Man, your boy's a shooter still.
[01:05:08]  Straight to the chin.
[01:05:09]  No, for real.
[01:05:10]  No, I don't shoot up anymore.
[01:05:11]  I don't know if I got that.
[01:05:14]  But I got it, came out of my peep holes.
[01:05:18]  How was the trajectory?
[01:05:19]  Trajectory was kind of cool.
[01:05:20]  It was good.
[01:05:21]  It was good.
[01:05:22]  Solid?
[01:05:22]  Yeah, that shit was far.
[01:05:23]  Played a classic.
[01:05:24]  No, what's the distance?
[01:05:25]  What are we talking about?
[01:05:26]  I don't want to brag, bro.
[01:05:29]  The Olympics got you inspired.
[01:05:30]  They do.
[01:05:31]  I don't really know.
[01:05:32]  He's always acting like he got range.
[01:05:35]  I don't believe anything Dove says about sex.
[01:05:37]  We need a video.
[01:05:38]  Not a single word he says about sex do I believe.
[01:05:41]  I don't even think he comes.
[01:05:42]  I think when he's ready to come, he just goes, spits on their back.
[01:05:46]  He spits on their back, goes, I'm good.
[01:05:48]  That's all for me.
[01:05:50]  So yeah, I don't believe it.
[01:05:52]  But yeah, that's a yeah.
[01:05:53]  I haven't, yeah.
[01:05:54]  Y'all fapped recently?
[01:05:56]  No, I've been off my game, I'll be honest.
[01:05:58]  I had a wet dream last week.
[01:06:01]  Damn, dude.
[01:06:02]  That's cool.
[01:06:03]  I missed those.
[01:06:04]  I had them while my wife was pregnant.
[01:06:06]  I had them shit.
[01:06:06]  I missed those.
[01:06:07]  Oh, man.
[01:06:08]  I wasn't.
[01:06:08]  Still upset.
[01:06:09]  That's fantastic, dude.
[01:06:10]  Okay, in the dream, did you actually get to pumping or did you not prematurely?
[01:06:15]  I always did with Charlie in my wet dreams.
[01:06:17]  That's just embarrassing.
[01:06:19]  And now, now I'm at the point where, like, in the wet dream, I know it's going to be a wet dream.
[01:06:24]  Like, for a second, I dream lucidly, and I'd be like, all right, let me get in real quick.
[01:06:33]  So I'm like, half awake I was like, oh, my dad.
[01:06:36]  And then I wake up.
[01:06:37]  That's what I did on my vacation.
[01:06:39]  Just wake up, burn my underwear, and then get back in bed.
[01:06:42]  You got to burn your underwear.
[01:06:44]  My wife does a laundry.
[01:06:45]  She put her hand in there and a fucking melted Jolly Rancher comes out.
[01:06:52]  Oh, my God.
[01:06:53]  Come on.
[01:06:54]  But that's what the no fab does.
[01:06:55]  Sometimes you get that nocturnally mish.
[01:06:57]  That surprise.
[01:06:58]  Oh, that's right.
[01:06:59]  Surprise, surprise.
[01:07:00]  Oh, hell yeah.
[01:07:00]  Wake up feeling amazing.
[01:07:01]  Oh, God.
[01:07:02]  Hell yeah.
[01:07:03]  I'm about to have one tonight.
[01:07:05]  I think I'm going to do that tonight.
[01:07:06]  That's not fair.
[01:07:08]  I've never had one.
[01:07:09]  You never had a nocturnally missed?
[01:07:10]  You can learn how to lucid dream.
[01:07:12]  No, no, not lucid dream, nocturnally mish.
[01:07:14]  Yeah, no, I mean, that can lead one thing to another.
[01:07:16]  Oh, yeah.
[01:07:16]  If you want to have a lucid dream, I can teach you how to lucidly dream.
[01:07:20]  I don't know if I want you to teach me.
[01:07:22]  No, he taught me.
[01:07:25]  I don't know.
[01:07:25]  It's very easy.
[01:07:26]  When you're dreaming, just be like, Am I dreaming?
[01:07:28]  And then you just start lucidly dreaming.
[01:07:30]  That's what I do every single time.
[01:07:31]  Every time I'm doing that, I think I'm dreaming right now.
[01:07:33]  Oh, fire.
[01:07:34]  And I just jump and I fly.
[01:07:37]  All right.
[01:07:37]  Yeah, I feel a little different.
[01:07:38]  You control the ones where you prematurely come.
[01:07:41]  I do control them.
[01:07:42]  You get tickets going pumping.
[01:07:44]  Yeah, get my pump.
[01:07:45]  I don't get a pump in.
[01:07:46]  I know it's a dream.
[01:07:46]  I'm not trying to impress her.
[01:07:48]  It's not premature for him.
[01:07:49]  Yeah.
[01:07:50]  Facts.
[01:07:51]  It's exactly the one that is frustrated by this.
[01:07:55]  And then in the next dream, she's like, all right, we're doing this again.
[01:08:00]  Oh, my God.
[01:08:01]  I don't even know who the girl is.
[01:08:07]  Right?
[01:08:07]  No, I don't.
[01:08:09]  These imaginary AI bitches in my dream.
[01:08:12]  Why would they be here?
[01:08:14]  I'm in bed with my wife and my dogs.
[01:08:16]  The audacity.
[01:08:17]  Yeah, these sluts sneaking into my subconscious, sucking my cock up.
[01:08:22]  Yo, this is crazy, right?
[01:08:23]  The fuck is going on?
[01:08:26]  Be like, I'm glad it wasn't you because I don't want to disappoint you, even in a dream.
[01:08:30]  That's how I knew that there was a dream because I didn't hold back.
[01:08:34]  Yeah, exactly.
[01:08:35]  Your boy just went for bust.
[01:08:38]  Your boy went for a bust.
[01:08:39]  You ever went down on a girl in a lucid drink?
[01:08:41]  No.
[01:08:42]  Fashion.
[01:08:43]  Prematurely ejaculate from going down on a girl in a lucid dream.
[01:08:49]  She just licks a mangled Algerian box.
[01:08:53]  That's nuts.
[01:08:54]  Yeah, a little sand trap.
[01:08:55]  Oh, yeah.
[01:08:56]  God.
[01:08:57]  Yeah, it was fire.
[01:08:58]  So, wait, so wait, what happened?
[01:08:59]  So you went down on the Schwarms?
[01:09:00]  I think I actually did go down on a girl in a lucid dream one time.
[01:09:04]  No, you're a fiend.
[01:09:07]  You're a fiend.
[01:09:08]  Yeah, that's the whitest shit I ever did.
[01:09:10]  You're a fiend.
[01:09:10]  That's the most Puerto Rican shit.
[01:09:13]  That shit is crazy.
[01:09:18]  I'll be fucking in his lucid dreams.
[01:09:20]  Like, okay, when is it my turn?
[01:09:29]  That shit is hard.
[01:09:30]  I always wake up in a lucid dream, though.
[01:09:32]  Oh, my God.
[01:09:33]  I've never had one.
[01:09:34]  Well, then it's not lucid.
[01:09:36]  No, but like, I'll be in a dream and I'm like, oh, fuck, I'm dreaming.
[01:09:38]  Let me fly.
[01:09:39]  Oh, I'm awake.
[01:09:39]  Oh, I've had that.
[01:09:40]  No, you just got to not do it.
[01:09:42]  Like, yeah, I've had lucid dreams only after Burning Man.
[01:09:44]  I think my brain came.
[01:09:46]  She was so fucked up from all the drugs.
[01:09:48]  And then for a couple weeks after, I'll have lucid dreams.
[01:09:50]  And I can wake up.
[01:09:51]  That's here.
[01:09:51]  Go back to the dream and keep it.
[01:09:53]  Keep it running.
[01:09:54]  That's what we're lit.
[01:09:55]  Yeah.
[01:09:55]  Oh, yeah.
[01:09:55]  Sometimes you can get back into the same one.
[01:09:57]  Yeah.
[01:09:58]  But I'm thinking to myself, I never thought to fuck during this time.
[01:10:01]  If I can control everything, yeah, I never thought to do that.
[01:10:03]  The only time you ever thought to not fuck.
[01:10:05]  I know, right?
[01:10:05]  That's crazy.
[01:10:08]  Come on.
[01:10:09]  That was nuts.
[01:10:10]  That's the only time.
[01:10:10]  What did you do instead?
[01:10:11]  The flying shit.
[01:10:12]  The flying shit is awesome.
[01:10:13]  Flying fire.
[01:10:14]  When you control, yeah.
[01:10:15]  That shit's slit.
[01:10:16]  Yeah.
[01:10:17]  Yeah.
[01:10:19]  Yeah, I guess.
[01:10:20]  What do you mean?
[01:10:20]  Yeah, I guess.
[01:10:21]  But I'm like, you never did it.
[01:10:24]  But I flew in an airplane and I'm like, that's pretty close to flying.
[01:10:26]  You didn't fly.
[01:10:27]  I sat down.
[01:10:28]  I never eat out another girl.
[01:10:31]  Oh, I didn't.
[01:10:31]  I forget.
[01:10:32]  That's more.
[01:10:33]  That's more flying.
[01:10:34]  That's more flying for me.
[01:10:36]  What was the box like?
[01:10:36]  Was a box?
[01:10:37]  Wait, literally, you were in college?
[01:10:39]  Yeah.
[01:10:39]  Oh, I forgot theories.
[01:10:41]  Go.
[01:10:41]  I'm on who?
[01:10:43]  I'm listening.
[01:10:43]  Oh, tell us who.
[01:10:44]  Wait, is it was it an actual girl?
[01:10:46]  Did we know?
[01:10:47]  No one that I recognized.
[01:10:48]  All right.
[01:10:48]  Oh, yeah.
[01:10:49]  I hate when that shit was in high school with them giant ass duds.
[01:10:52]  Oh, she's still posting like crazy.
[01:10:55]  The one.
[01:10:56]  His mom.
[01:10:59]  That's the Facebook post.
[01:11:00]  That's my high school teacher.
[01:11:01]  Well, my high school teacher.
[01:11:02]  As for the name, the Catholic Church is bad.
[01:11:12]  So it was just a random girl.
[01:11:14]  It was like a collection of girls mashed into one.
[01:11:16]  Yeah, it was AI.
[01:11:17]  And then did you take off her panties before you ate her out?
[01:11:20]  You pulled them there.
[01:11:22]  Yeah.
[01:11:22]  Wait a minute.
[01:11:23]  So she was just sitting with her legs open.
[01:11:24]  Did you have to at least separate her legs and watch the meat separate?
[01:11:28]  No, it was just there.
[01:11:29]  It's just ready to go.
[01:11:30]  Wait, what?
[01:11:31]  So she was just sitting with her legs open?
[01:11:33]  Yeah, I was in a dream.
[01:11:34]  I just popped in.
[01:11:34]  I was like, all right, bet.
[01:11:35]  We're here.
[01:11:37]  Nocturne.
[01:11:38]  It's like that clothing brand where it's just like a leg, a girl with the legs on her shit.
[01:11:42]  Fuck, the kind.
[01:11:44]  The kind?
[01:11:45]  Yeah, I forgot what it is.
[01:11:46]  I've never heard of that.
[01:11:47]  I hope he bailed me out of that one.
[01:11:49]  It doesn't look like a girl's like that.
[01:11:51]  It looks like two people back to back.
[01:11:53]  Oh, I have seen that one.
[01:11:54]  But if you cover the top, it looks like.
[01:11:55]  Yeah.
[01:11:56]  Oh, really?
[01:11:56]  Come on, yo.
[01:11:57]  Is it a sports brand?
[01:11:59]  It's like a surf brand.
[01:12:00]  Kappa?
[01:12:01]  Is that it?
[01:12:02]  Oh, I think it's Kappa.
[01:12:03]  Yeah.
[01:12:04]  Fire.
[01:12:04]  Oh, shit.
[01:12:05]  Look at himself.
[01:12:06]  I didn't know that.
[01:12:07]  That was the pussy who was eating any drinks.
[01:12:09]  No.
[01:12:10]  I thought it was just brand loyal.
[01:12:11]  I didn't know it is.
[01:12:12]  Nah, it's back to back, and then if you kind of cover it, if you cover their faces, it's a girl with her legs open.
[01:12:18]  I've never this?
[01:12:20]  Yeah.
[01:12:20]  Just cover their face.
[01:12:21]  Oh.
[01:12:23]  Oh.
[01:12:24]  That's how y'all beat off in the 90s.
[01:12:26]  Yep.
[01:12:28]  Yo, what is the most, what is the most or the least technologically advanced thing you jerked off to?
[01:12:34]  Like, did you jerk off to a magnet?
[01:12:36]  Guinness book world records.
[01:12:40]  I swear to God.
[01:12:42]  What was it?
[01:12:43]  What was the record?
[01:12:45]  Oh, my God.
[01:12:45]  I read 75 books in one day.
[01:12:49]  Guinness book world records.
[01:12:50]  If you look at the Guinness book in my house, that shit is sticky.
[01:12:53]  What did you see?
[01:12:58]  Oh my god.
[01:12:59]  Oh my gosh.
[01:13:00]  What post I can find?
[01:13:01]  I bet you I can find it.
[01:13:04]  This was the 2000 edition.
[01:13:06]  I had every Guinness book.
[01:13:07]  I had every Guinness book.
[01:13:08]  I had every Ripley's, believe it or not.
[01:13:09]  And the Guinness Book 2000 edition was like the whole shiny first artificial model.
[01:13:15]  It was like the world's first AI model.
[01:13:17]  And it was like a photorealistic woman in like a bikini.
[01:13:21]  And I was like, fire.
[01:13:23]  Didn't have a phone.
[01:13:24]  Jesus.
[01:13:24]  Didn't have anything.
[01:13:26]  This is before I got my eye touch.
[01:13:27]  Get her up.
[01:13:28]  That might be the girl you went down on.
[01:13:29]  This is crazy.
[01:13:30]  His generation had internet, bro.
[01:13:32]  And that's great.
[01:13:36]  That's us jerk off shit.
[01:13:39]  The fuck.
[01:13:40]  And it was a full spread, too.
[01:13:41]  They knew what they were doing.
[01:13:42]  Let me see it.
[01:13:43]  You know what?
[01:13:43]  Did y'all have this one?
[01:13:44]  Yeah, this is the shiny one.
[01:13:46]  This is the fire one.
[01:13:48]  I just remember the blue one.
[01:13:49]  I was 16 when this came out.
[01:13:51]  Yeah.
[01:13:52]  That's a good point.
[01:13:52]  That's prime time.
[01:13:54]  It was like.
[01:13:54]  We didn't have it in our houses.
[01:13:56]  It was like one of these.
[01:13:57]  It was like this girl's.
[01:13:58]  This is your coffee book, the coffee table.
[01:14:00]  No, my mom got it for me.
[01:14:01]  She's not that girl at all.
[01:14:02]  Because that girl is a very famous model.
[01:14:04]  It was like, I forget who it was.
[01:14:06]  I can't remember exactly.
[01:14:08]  I got to find the book, but it's in there for sure.
[01:14:10]  First artificial woman.
[01:14:11]  And it was like a computer-generated woman.
[01:14:12]  It was like made a record.
[01:14:13]  And they were like, boom, put it in the book.
[01:14:15]  No one's going to turn off to this.
[01:14:17]  And you fucking died.
[01:14:18]  I made it work.
[01:14:19]  I made it work.
[01:14:20]  But back in the day, it was so, it was just a, it was hair trigger.
[01:14:25]  It was.
[01:14:26]  What do you mean?
[01:14:26]  His dick was hair triggered.
[01:14:28]  Really?
[01:14:28]  Yeah.
[01:14:29]  I caught him beating the back of my minivan one time with my mom driving.
[01:14:32]  No, no, no, no.
[01:14:33]  That's fucking nuts.
[01:14:37]  It was.
[01:14:38]  It was.
[01:14:40]  Hold on.
[01:14:41]  This dude's not normal.
[01:14:42]  Don't tell her.
[01:14:45]  Normal.
[01:14:47]  You remember being 19?
[01:14:48]  Hold on, hold on, hold on.
[01:14:49]  I don't remember being 19.
[01:14:50]  Hold on, hold on, hold on.
[01:14:51]  You jerked off in the back of your mom's minivan while she was driving?
[01:14:56]  Yeah.
[01:14:56]  That was a shameful mom.
[01:14:58]  She's just up there.
[01:15:00]  And she's just like, the Jews control the roads.
[01:15:04]  They can put some more red lights on this street.
[01:15:06]  Yes, mom, keep going.
[01:15:08]  Hold on.
[01:15:09]  So, how many of you are in the car?
[01:15:10]  Just her, and then I'm all the way in the very, very back.
[01:15:15]  Driving Miss Daisy.
[01:15:17]  Bro, it was a 20-minute drive.
[01:15:19]  Driving Miss Daisy type shit.
[01:15:21]  It was 20 minutes.
[01:15:23]  She's like, yo, why the road?
[01:15:26]  Okay, hold on.
[01:15:28]  Hold the fuck off.

=== Rush Limbaugh Car Memories (07:15) ===

[01:15:29]  Oh, my God.
[01:15:29]  You don't think she could see her shoulder?
[01:15:31]  No, no, no.
[01:15:32]  I checked.
[01:15:32]  I checked all the angles.
[01:15:34]  I checked.
[01:15:34]  I triangulated.
[01:15:35]  I knew what I was doing.
[01:15:36]  Okay.
[01:15:37]  She's going to text you after this and be like, I knew.
[01:15:40]  Wait, we're going to go.
[01:15:41]  Break it down.
[01:15:41]  Break it down.
[01:15:42]  It's just the two of you.
[01:15:42]  Where are you going or coming from?
[01:15:44]  It's like an eight-hour car drive from a soccer tournament, like Alabama or some shit.
[01:15:47]  And it's just the two of you.
[01:15:48]  Yeah.
[01:15:49]  Did you guys win or lose?
[01:15:51]  I think we probably won.
[01:15:53]  This is on the way to Katie's six.
[01:15:56]  Yeah.
[01:15:56]  This is on the way back.
[01:15:57]  This is on the way back because we've been in the hotel for two nights and then we had to tournament for a whole weekend.
[01:16:01]  It's been days.
[01:16:02]  It's been days.
[01:16:03]  You're sharing the hotel.
[01:16:05]  You're sharing the hotel room.
[01:16:07]  I think so.
[01:16:07]  Yeah.
[01:16:07]  He's having a nice nocturnal emission.
[01:16:09]  Like I said, I wish.
[01:16:13]  Let him set the scene.
[01:16:14]  Let him set the scene.
[01:16:15]  Okay.
[01:16:15]  It's the craziest thing.
[01:16:16]  I didn't even have an iPhone.
[01:16:17]  I just had like a shitty Nokia, but I was able to get Google images.
[01:16:20]  Okay.
[01:16:21]  So I would just go to Google and type in boobs.
[01:16:24]  That's not even close to the craziest.
[01:16:28]  Of all the things that are crazy about this, it's not what phone do you use to get the images to jerk off.
[01:16:33]  Okay.
[01:16:33]  It's that every time you open your eyes while you're dirking off, you're staring at the back of your mom's head.
[01:16:37]  No, no, I face the other way.
[01:16:38]  I face the other way.
[01:16:39]  Come on.
[01:16:39]  How do you face the okay?
[01:16:41]  Set the scene.
[01:16:41]  Set the scene.
[01:16:42]  It's two seats and then three seats and then three more seats.
[01:16:46]  Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[01:16:46]  So I'm all the way in the back.
[01:16:48]  Facing forward?
[01:16:48]  No, I'm facing back, facing into the thing.
[01:16:51]  Facing into the back head rest.
[01:16:54]  I had a whole blanket on me and a pillow.
[01:16:56]  I had a blanket and a pillow.
[01:16:57]  She's listening to Rush Limbaugh.
[01:16:58]  She doesn't have time to catch the chunk dick in a mini.
[01:17:00]  You kicked off the Rush Limbaugh.
[01:17:02]  Yeah.
[01:17:04]  I tell you what, folks.
[01:17:05]  Rush Limbaugh had a huge impression on me.
[01:17:07]  My mom would go into Home Depot and leave me in the car for like 25 to 30 minutes just with Rush Limbaugh on and I'm tied in my car.
[01:17:13]  So you're just listening to it.
[01:17:14]  He's getting hard.
[01:17:15]  Yeah, this is what made me this.
[01:17:16]  I'm eight years old getting fucking inoculated.
[01:17:19]  How old are you at this point?
[01:17:20]  I was got to be like 12, 13.
[01:17:22]  Okay, so at what point do you realize that you need to get this nut out?
[01:17:25]  I think going in the car, I was like, eight hours, I can last eight hours.
[01:17:28]  It's like having a pee, but it's come.
[01:17:29]  You know what I mean?
[01:17:30]  Is that how you really feel about it?
[01:17:32]  At that time, it was hair trigger, bro.
[01:17:33]  You're 13.
[01:17:34]  I was getting in the car.
[01:17:34]  I was like, man, I got it.
[01:17:35]  I got to let it rip soon.
[01:17:36]  So I was probably, I was probably.
[01:17:42]  I was probably two weeks.
[01:17:43]  I was like two weeks online to coming.
[01:17:47]  I was like pre-release on coming.
[01:17:48]  It hasn't even really been out yet.
[01:17:50]  You know what I mean?
[01:17:51]  Like, I just got it.
[01:17:52]  Shakes.
[01:17:52]  Yeah.
[01:17:53]  I just got the fucking download.
[01:17:55]  Okay.
[01:17:55]  And so I was like, all right, when can I do that again?
[01:17:58]  You know what I mean?
[01:17:59]  Okay.
[01:17:59]  So you're in the car.
[01:18:01]  Do you ever calculate?
[01:18:02]  Oh, it's kind of weird because my mom is in the car with me or no?
[01:18:04]  Well, yeah, of course.
[01:18:05]  Okay.
[01:18:07]  You're putting locked eyes in the rear view.
[01:18:11]  Keep driving, bitch.
[01:18:13]  That's what I said.
[01:18:13]  Okay, okay, okay.
[01:18:15]  It sounds weird when you say it out of the context of being the horniest child alive.
[01:18:19]  But then all of a sudden you pop open and give him Guinness book.
[01:18:23]  What did you use to drink the phone?
[01:18:24]  No, that was the phone with the Google.
[01:18:25]  Okay, so you cover yourself in the blankets.
[01:18:28]  Yep.
[01:18:28]  You make sure that I'm sleeping for a little and then I wake up and I'm like.
[01:18:35]  And so you sleep for the first couple hours and she's just driving, having a grand old time.
[01:18:38]  Yeah.
[01:18:39]  And then, yeah, you wake up just in a sweat.
[01:18:42]  In a pit.
[01:18:43]  In a dizzy.
[01:18:43]  Yeah.
[01:18:44]  And then you pop it open.
[01:18:45]  And then at that point, it's hair triggered.
[01:18:47]  So you're three pumps away at any moment.
[01:18:49]  So it's like.
[01:18:50]  Wait, What?
[01:18:52]  Yeah, it's hair triggered.
[01:18:53]  I'm telling you, bro.
[01:18:54]  But now with your mom there and Rush Limbaugh.
[01:18:57]  It could have been my dad sitting with me.
[01:18:59]  It doesn't matter.
[01:19:00]  Like, why are we acting like, you've never been horny before?
[01:19:03]  Why are we acting like horny?
[01:19:05]  I wasn't that horny, bro.
[01:19:07]  No.
[01:19:08]  I was never that horny.
[01:19:09]  All right.
[01:19:09]  All right.
[01:19:09]  So you nut.
[01:19:10]  Where do you nut into?
[01:19:11]  Oh my god.
[01:19:12]  Oh, bro.
[01:19:13]  It's the ceiling.
[01:19:14]  I think it was like I had an old jersey or some shit in my soccer bag.
[01:19:17]  Oh, my God.
[01:19:18]  And I was like, let me just grab it, mummy it up, and then king tutt it.
[01:19:22]  You know what I'm saying?
[01:19:23]  You've always been dirty.
[01:19:26]  Okay.
[01:19:26]  And then afterwards, what do you do?
[01:19:28]  I just sleep and wake up in Florida.
[01:19:30]  Like, oh, mom.
[01:19:31]  It was just amazing.
[01:19:31]  Oh, so you went right back to bed.
[01:19:33]  A little Zanny.
[01:19:33]  It was a little natural Zanny.
[01:19:34]  And I just woke up.
[01:19:35]  So you didn't have like a combo with your mom to cover it up afterwards.
[01:19:39]  Like, what?
[01:19:40]  You were like, hey, how's it going up there?
[01:19:41]  Like, I'm not jerking off back here.
[01:19:44]  You know, just to make me throw off the.
[01:19:47]  No, no, no, no.
[01:19:48]  You just go right back to sleep.
[01:19:49]  Right back to sleep.
[01:19:50]  And she goes, how'd you sleep?
[01:19:51]  I go, hard.
[01:19:52]  That's all you say.
[01:19:53]  Yeah, that was it.
[01:19:54]  And it was uneventful.
[01:19:56]  Wow, dude.
[01:19:56]  That's a crazy story.
[01:19:58]  Yeah.
[01:19:58]  Oh, my God.
[01:19:59]  That's the thing.
[01:20:00]  We're going to find out all of our kids are jerking off.
[01:20:01]  And they're not going to think we know and we know.
[01:20:03]  And then we're going to have to figure out how to deal with it.
[01:20:05]  I told my dad the first time I did.
[01:20:07]  So he knew.
[01:20:08]  So I guess he knew, right?
[01:20:09]  I sit down after we played basketball.
[01:20:10]  We played little hoops.
[01:20:11]  Sat him down.
[01:20:12]  And I was like, man, to me, I was like, dad, I just want to let you know.
[01:20:14]  I jerked off the other day.
[01:20:17]  While you're playing D?
[01:20:18]  No, no, no.
[01:20:20]  I remember my dad just being like, wow.
[01:20:26]  Like, he didn't want to say, why are you telling me this?
[01:20:29]  He saw it as me sharing something that I thought was like vulnerable and affordable.
[01:20:33]  Dad is the best, dude.
[01:20:34]  What a jack.
[01:20:35]  He's like, wow.
[01:20:36]  Okay.
[01:20:37]  Cool.
[01:20:37]  What a picture with Eddie Murphy.
[01:20:39]  Yeah.
[01:20:39]  Yeah.
[01:20:42]  No, I think I felt guilty.
[01:20:43]  I was like, am I not a kid anymore?
[01:20:46]  Wow.
[01:20:46]  That is white people's bar mitzvah.
[01:20:48]  Really is our bar mitzvah.
[01:20:51]  Like, dude, Johnny got his nut off.
[01:20:53]  We did it.
[01:20:54]  Yeah, bro.
[01:20:55]  My mom was in the room when I first jerked.
[01:20:56]  I mean, first came.
[01:20:59]  She was in a room.
[01:21:00]  I know what I was doing though.
[01:21:01]  That's why I'd be like Mils.
[01:21:02]  So it was my bedroom.
[01:21:03]  Wait, what?
[01:21:04]  The computer was in my room.
[01:21:06]  So she would like come up and use the computer or whatever.
[01:21:08]  But it's a fairly large room or whatever.
[01:21:10]  And it's nighttime.
[01:21:11]  I got Seinfeld on.
[01:21:13]  And I'm just like under the cover.
[01:21:15]  Just like you and his Z's.
[01:21:16]  What is it about Seinfeld?
[01:21:17]  I know.
[01:21:17]  It makes y'all need to come.
[01:21:19]  But this was like, what, I was maybe 11, 12.
[01:21:21]  I don't know.
[01:21:22]  Just playing with myself and not even knowing what I'm doing.
[01:21:24]  I'm not like going like that.
[01:21:25]  I'm just playing with myself.
[01:21:26]  All of a sudden, boom.
[01:21:27]  Like, what the fuck just happened?
[01:21:29]  I know what I was doing.
[01:21:30]  Oh, that's fine.
[01:21:31]  I slept with it just like that.
[01:21:35]  I'm like, I can't get up.
[01:21:36]  So she's right.
[01:21:37]  Mom's in the room.
[01:21:38]  Yeah.
[01:21:40]  Oh, my God.
[01:21:41]  I slept with it.
[01:21:42]  Nah, sleeping with it is crazy.
[01:21:44]  No, that family room computer is sketchy.
[01:21:47]  That family room computer is wild.
[01:21:48]  It was in my room.
[01:21:50]  That shit would suck.
[01:21:51]  Yeah, that's really just setting you up.
[01:21:53]  Yeah.
[01:21:53]  My parents put the computer.
[01:21:54]  Give me a loaded weapon.
[01:21:56]  My parents put the computer in my bedroom as a kid.
[01:21:58]  You could have it.
[01:21:59]  That was like 12, 13 that time.
[01:22:01]  I got so many viruses on that computer that I came out and I put it on the street to throw it away.
[01:22:07]  Well, the trash coming real early.
[01:22:09]  So my parents wouldn't notice.
[01:22:10]  I threw the family $500 computer away.
[01:22:14]  My mom comes home.
[01:22:15]  She goes, Why is the computer out in the yard by the street?
[01:22:19]  I said, it broke.
[01:22:21]  We got to get rid of it.
[01:22:22]  She goes, no, we'll get it fixed.
[01:22:23]  We'll like, you know, we'll take it somewhere.
[01:22:25]  I said, no, you just got to trust me.
[01:22:27]  It's broke.
[01:22:28]  It's riddled with porn.
[01:22:29]  Riddles.
[01:22:30]  Yeah, she knew that.
[01:22:30]  I couldn't explain to him why it wasn't working.
[01:22:32]  She knows to this day.
[01:22:33]  She knows.
[01:22:34]  Yeah, I know.
[01:22:35]  Yeah.
[01:22:36]  Oh, man.
[01:22:37]  Yeah.
[01:22:37]  That shit is wild, bro.
[01:22:38]  I would have buried it.
[01:22:39]  I was desperate to get rid of that thing.
[01:22:41]  All right.
[01:22:42]  Yo, we're going to see you next week.
[01:22:43]  Peace.
[01:22:44]  Peace.