Flagrant - Andrew Schulz & Akaash Singh - How Kanye Can GET AWAY WITH IT w/ Ari Shaffir
Aired: 2022-12-01
Duration: 01:41:17


=== Kanye, Homophobia, and Bangers (07:33) ===

[00:00:00]  You just made songs about it, Kanye.
[00:00:01]  Yeah, yeah.
[00:00:02]  I'll be behind you.
[00:00:04]  Make bangers.
[00:00:05]  As long as you're making bangers.
[00:00:06]  Like, we got into Jesus for a little bit because of one of his bangers.
[00:00:09]  Yeah.
[00:00:10]  Jesus did walk.
[00:00:11]  Women dance to a song calling them gold digging.
[00:00:15]  You don't think you can get Jews to dance to the sandwich?
[00:00:18]  Yeah, we all dance.
[00:00:19]  It's a new way.
[00:00:21]  Make bangers, Kanye.
[00:00:23]  Get off Twitter.
[00:00:24]  Yeah.
[00:00:26]  So not pissed off at all.
[00:00:28]  You didn't care.
[00:00:29]  I was just like, something's up here.
[00:00:30]  I don't know.
[00:00:31]  Also, I asked a crowd about it.
[00:00:32]  I don't read the news.
[00:00:33]  I just intentionally get away from it for two years now.
[00:00:36]  So I'll ask audiences, like, what's going on in the world?
[00:00:39]  Yeah.
[00:00:40]  And one of them's like, Kanye's homophobic.
[00:00:42]  Like, what did he say?
[00:00:42]  Or not homophobic, whatever the other one is.
[00:00:45]  Anti-Semitic.
[00:00:46]  Anti-Semitic.
[00:00:46]  Yeah.
[00:00:46]  And they were like, he said.
[00:00:47]  He's super gay to hate the Jews.
[00:00:50]  Right?
[00:00:50]  Say, it is super gay to hate the Jews.
[00:00:52]  But I was like, what does that mean?
[00:00:53]  They're like, I think he means his agents.
[00:00:54]  And I was like, oh, I've been saying that for many years.
[00:00:58]  They're your Jews.
[00:01:00]  Yeah.
[00:01:00]  When you're upset, you're like, go talk to your Jews, tell them to get you a break from the road, you know?
[00:01:05]  And even if they're like, they're not a Jew, but they're in the Jew arts.
[00:01:08]  Yeah, exactly.
[00:01:09]  They're your Jews.
[00:01:10]  So he's just like, I'm mad at my jewelry.
[00:01:14]  Also, what is the dark eyes?
[00:01:19]  It's just like, we're good at being agents.
[00:01:20]  I don't know.
[00:01:21]  You're like, I'll get you some money.
[00:01:22]  Like, sweet.
[00:01:23]  You're good at that.
[00:01:24]  Go get it.
[00:01:25]  You can say it.
[00:01:26]  Yeah.
[00:01:27]  Exactly.
[00:01:29]  It's not the worst thing in the world to be good at making money.
[00:01:32]  Yeah, I don't think it's a bad thing.
[00:01:35]  Yeah, who's making that a bad thing?
[00:01:37]  I think it's, yeah, when does it get bad?
[00:01:39]  It gets bad when it's like you're organizing in a way.
[00:01:43]  They're taking my money.
[00:01:44]  Yeah.
[00:01:46]  Well, that was a funny thing.
[00:01:51]  Fucking Catholic.
[00:01:56]  But that's the thing we were talking about with when it comes to the Jews running Hollywood.
[00:02:00]  It's like, well, they haven't exactly made themselves heroes.
[00:02:03]  Like, if they do run Hollywood, where's the Jewish superhero?
[00:02:08]  Yeah, none.
[00:02:09]  They're still the villains.
[00:02:10]  Oh, you're right.
[00:02:11]  Like, Magneto is Jewish, survived the Holocaust, and he's still the bad guy.
[00:02:17]  Wow, you're right.
[00:02:18]  Holocaust survivor, bad guy.
[00:02:19]  He's a bad guy because he saw.
[00:02:22]  Isn't that crazy?
[00:02:24]  Wow.
[00:02:24]  Like, the Germans put all the cool stuff in him, so maybe there's something.
[00:02:27]  You would think he would just be like, yeah, yeah, yeah.
[00:02:28]  You'd think he would just be like, he's like, let's get revenge on all the cool things.
[00:02:33]  You know, his power is to control metal, but is that just like to get the money close?
[00:02:39]  Because back then, a cord was worth it.
[00:02:42]  He hides it in his helmet.
[00:02:46]  That would be the actual Magneto.
[00:02:47]  He's just like, just collecting change.
[00:02:49]  And then he goes by wishing well.
[00:02:54]  Yeah.
[00:02:54]  Who's this guy?
[00:02:55]  He's like, he's such a shitty superhero.
[00:02:57]  He's my lawyer, actually.
[00:02:59]  Dude, that's crazy.
[00:03:00]  That's how they got him to unlock his pals by moving a coin.
[00:03:03]  That was the very first thing they made him do.
[00:03:06]  Holy shit.
[00:03:07]  I told you that my buddy Paul, when I was in middle school, this kid, I don't want to say his last name, but he was a Peruvian.
[00:03:12]  And there was this kid, Howard.
[00:03:14]  It's fucked up, but there was this kid, Howard, who was his Jewish kid.
[00:03:18]  And every day during lunch, we would go to Subway to get sandwiches.
[00:03:22]  And Paul would put a nickel on the middle of the table.
[00:03:24]  He'd be like, watch, watch.
[00:03:25]  He's going to go for it.
[00:03:28]  He's going to go forward.
[00:03:29]  Just watch, just watch.
[00:03:30]  And our come back with his sandwich.
[00:03:32]  And Paul would just stare at him.
[00:03:34]  You ever see someone put a mouse in a snake cage?
[00:03:38]  Yeah.
[00:03:38]  And you're just like, so there is some, I guess, I don't know, real shit there.
[00:03:46]  I don't know.
[00:03:46]  I don't think Kanye's doing anything.
[00:03:48]  It's just like overhyped.
[00:03:49]  Really?
[00:03:49]  Yeah.
[00:03:50]  Yeah.
[00:03:50]  People are like, he's just anti-synthetic.
[00:03:51]  It's like, I'm not seeing it.
[00:03:52]  I don't know.
[00:03:53]  When does it become a problem for you?
[00:03:54]  Are you just kind of like numbed all of it?
[00:03:56]  He's not doing anything.
[00:03:57]  I don't know.
[00:03:58]  He's not doing anything.
[00:03:58]  He's just like expressing a little disinterest.
[00:04:00]  It's like, that's fine.
[00:04:01]  Same thing.
[00:04:01]  Remember Mike Cannon, whatever his name is.
[00:04:04]  Mike Cannon on the street.
[00:04:05]  Not Mike Cannon.
[00:04:06]  No, no, not Mike Cannon.
[00:04:07]  The older one who looks younger.
[00:04:09]  Mike Cannon, just edibles and film specials.
[00:04:12]  Not anti-Semite.
[00:04:14]  Yeah.
[00:04:14]  Nick Cannon got in trouble for it too.
[00:04:15]  They tried to take a show.
[00:04:16]  Like, who gives a fuck?
[00:04:19]  It's okay.
[00:04:19]  He's just getting real paranoia.
[00:04:22]  They're not doing anything.
[00:04:23]  Yeah.
[00:04:25]  It got real bad once.
[00:04:27]  This isn't that bad.
[00:04:29]  It's just a celebrity saying like that, Alex, follow that.
[00:04:34]  I'm sad.
[00:04:35]  I'm sad.
[00:04:36]  He sounds like a reasonable.
[00:04:37]  Hey, wait for this take from us.
[00:04:40]  Hey, hey, hell.
[00:04:41]  Can't black people say the same thing?
[00:04:43]  It got real bad once.
[00:04:46]  Yeah.
[00:04:48]  Different now.
[00:04:49]  Do you think that there is an oppression Olympics that black people and Jews are fighting for?
[00:04:56]  They just got involved.
[00:04:57]  They're kind of winning.
[00:04:58]  Black people got it.
[00:04:59]  Whoa, That's crazy.
[00:05:01]  Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
[00:05:02]  That's a hot take.
[00:05:03]  They're winning in terms of the Oppression Olympics.
[00:05:05]  Jews are winning?
[00:05:06]  Yeah.
[00:05:07]  No way.
[00:05:07]  Blacks are number one.
[00:05:08]  Blacks are number one.
[00:05:09]  Because Asians got up.
[00:05:11]  Just tried.
[00:05:11]  And everyone's like, shut up, dude.
[00:05:13]  No one cares about you.
[00:05:14]  Yeah, we weren't buying it from the Asians.
[00:05:16]  Yeah.
[00:05:16]  More stories about Jews, but blacks.
[00:05:18]  Why is that?
[00:05:20]  I don't know.
[00:05:20]  Just, I guess.
[00:05:21]  I wonder.
[00:05:22]  People who write stories.
[00:05:23]  Yeah.
[00:05:24]  Write stories about Jews.
[00:05:26]  I don't know.
[00:05:26]  Hey, hey, learn how to write.
[00:05:32]  You think blacks aren't winning the pay in the Olympics, the Oppression Olympics?
[00:05:35]  Absolutely not.
[00:05:36]  Wow.
[00:05:37]  Absolutely not.
[00:05:38]  Absolutely not.
[00:05:38]  That's a wild take.
[00:05:39]  That's a wild.
[00:05:40]  That's the wildest take has ever been on this podcast.
[00:05:42]  Yeah, I thought Kazi just said, y'all run everything and he's done.
[00:05:46]  But he's still here.
[00:05:47]  He's still fine.
[00:05:48]  No, he's not.
[00:05:49]  Nothing's off solar.
[00:05:51]  He's being talked about non-stop.
[00:05:54]  All his money is gone.
[00:05:57]  Deals are done.
[00:05:58]  Like, he's done.
[00:05:59]  He's done out here.
[00:06:01]  I just wonder.
[00:06:01]  I think that that's like the amount of car drive guy drops the n-word and people celebrate him.
[00:06:07]  Which one?
[00:06:07]  Well, that's an ass car, though.
[00:06:08]  You got to think about that.
[00:06:11]  Well, there's not enough black people.
[00:06:12]  Wait, wait, but has anybody, you've got to have an example of somebody who said something bad about black people who's also done.
[00:06:17]  I mean, Megan Kelly is the example I always use.
[00:06:19]  It's like she asked about Blackface and then immediately she gets kicked off the air.
[00:06:23]  And then gets a new show.
[00:06:24]  No, she has her own show.
[00:06:25]  No, she's doing her own show.
[00:06:26]  She produces her own show.
[00:06:27]  Oh, she produces it.
[00:06:27]  Yeah, she's done.
[00:06:28]  But it's not, it's never, either way, it's not easy to go after either one.
[00:06:32]  I think what it has to do is how many group, how many of those people are in the industry.
[00:06:35]  So for example, like you can't say anything about black people in basketball because even if black people don't own the basketball teams, they run basketball.
[00:06:41]  They run Dumb Sterling.
[00:06:42]  Exactly.
[00:06:43]  Please just don't take as many pictures with black people.
[00:06:45]  Yo, that was because now it's even more racist.
[00:06:49]  Like don't even be in pictures with them.
[00:06:51]  That's a crazy thing.
[00:06:53]  That was wild.
[00:06:54]  He was like, you can fuck him.
[00:06:59]  Yeah, from a rich white guy, old money, country club perspective.
[00:07:02]  He was saying, like, I don't, I'm progressive, but I don't want to deal with my not progressive.
[00:07:10]  I don't want to deal with their racism.
[00:07:11]  It's like, it's like the gay at Thanksgiving.
[00:07:13]  He's like, just say you're my friend.
[00:07:18]  It's fine.
[00:07:19]  You know, I love you, babe.
[00:07:20]  Just come on.
[00:07:21]  Yeah, I don't know, man.
[00:07:22]  I think it's like how many people are in the industry and then you have to respect them.
[00:07:27]  And maybe that's the idea about representation.
[00:07:30]  No, you know why the industry is hella Jewish?
[00:07:32]  What?

=== Halloween Traditions and Jewish Industry (02:41) ===

[00:07:33]  It's because you have to operate at a failure level for a while financially.
[00:07:37]  And so, like, if you want to be an agent or manager, you got to work for four.
[00:07:41]  It used to be $450 a week, tons of overtime, no overtime pay.
[00:07:45]  So who can live on that?
[00:07:46]  You need someone funneling you money.
[00:07:47]  You need a rich person funneling you money.
[00:07:50]  Yeah, we just, we had money, so we're able to be like, go follow your dream.
[00:07:57]  Is there ever this feeling like, all right, you know, Akash, for example, being a comedian as an Indian, he should be an engineer, he should be a doctor, whatever.
[00:08:05]  Being in front of the camera, is that looked down upon?
[00:08:07]  Did you ever, were your parents ever?
[00:08:08]  No, they just didn't think it would work.
[00:08:10]  They'd be like, no, what a pipe, you know.
[00:08:13]  I'm sure for all of you guys, it's like, you can't do comedy.
[00:08:16]  That's like a wild celebrities in comedy.
[00:08:20]  No one we know could do it.
[00:08:21]  You know, so that, but once I started making a little money, or I got my first commercial, they were all like, oh, sweet.
[00:08:26]  And they're 100%.
[00:08:27]  Oh, wow.
[00:08:29]  Yeah, go.
[00:08:29]  Were your parents different though?
[00:08:30]  Because you were raised Orthodox.
[00:08:31]  Yeah, well, first I had to get out of that.
[00:08:33]  Yeah.
[00:08:33]  So I'm like, what was that last?
[00:08:35]  We did a little research here.
[00:08:36]  You found the orthodoxy.
[00:08:38]  You weren't, you're like born-again orthodox.
[00:08:41]  Yeah, when I was little.
[00:08:43]  But you started out as just regular.
[00:08:45]  I was like conservative and then like third, fourth grade.
[00:08:47]  My dad's like, let's get religious again.
[00:08:49]  What were you doing?
[00:08:51]  Oh, fucking hookers.
[00:08:53]  I was like, I was fucking giving it to these babysitters, bro.
[00:08:57]  They didn't even know.
[00:08:59]  No, but what happens in like the fourth grade?
[00:09:01]  So suddenly it's like, oh, oh, hey, remember Halloween?
[00:09:04]  Fucking try to keep a memory of it because we don't do that anymore.
[00:09:07]  It's pagan.
[00:09:09]  That was the worst one.
[00:09:09]  Yeah, what's the deal with that?
[00:09:10]  I had a Jewish friend growing up and I wanted to do Halloween with him and his parents were like, nah, you can't do that.
[00:09:14]  That's the worst one.
[00:09:14]  It's expensive.
[00:09:16]  I just said, dress as a Jew.
[00:09:18]  Like, that's perfect.
[00:09:19]  That's scary in my neighborhood.
[00:09:20]  Exactly.
[00:09:23]  They're coming.
[00:09:26]  They're changing the neighborhood for better or worse.
[00:09:29]  I don't even know.
[00:09:30]  You're buying up the neighborhood.
[00:09:32]  What's the Halloween thing?
[00:09:34]  It's pagan, but I remember switching to a religious school and then the teacher asking, like, what some, I guess, guess Columbus Day.
[00:09:40]  She goes, what's this day?
[00:09:41]  And I was like, you know, when you know something.
[00:09:43]  I was like, it's Halloween.
[00:09:44]  And she was like, October 20th.
[00:09:46]  And I was like, she's like, no, it's Columbus Day, but also we don't do that.
[00:09:48]  And I was like, wait, what do you, what do you mean?
[00:09:52]  She's like, yeah, we don't do Halloween.
[00:09:54]  It's pagan.
[00:09:54]  Damn.
[00:09:55]  What's pagan?
[00:09:55]  You guys have your own Halloween.
[00:09:56]  Yeah, poor and poor.
[00:09:57]  It's great.
[00:09:58]  You're just supposed to get drunk.
[00:09:59]  Religious Catholics don't do Halloween.
[00:10:01]  Really?
[00:10:01]  What are you talking about?
[00:10:02]  No, Jehovah's Witness.
[00:10:03]  We break all the rules.
[00:10:04]  It's so lame because it has nothing to do with religion anymore.
[00:10:06]  You're not actually worshiping.
[00:10:07]  You're just saying like you're devil worshiping or, you know.
[00:10:10]  But that orthodoxy is by the book.
[00:10:12]  By the book, yeah.
[00:10:13]  So, you know, definitely.

=== Myanmar Ladyboys and Weather (11:06) ===

[00:10:14]  You can't check and choose.
[00:10:14]  Okay, so how do you get out of that?
[00:10:16]  You go to yeshiva.
[00:10:17]  Went to seminary a couple years and then realized I didn't believe in God.
[00:10:21]  Why?
[00:10:22]  It just wasn't in me.
[00:10:23]  It's just like, why do you not like tomatoes?
[00:10:25]  It's just like, you just think about it and you're like, it's not in there.
[00:10:30]  But you were reflecting.
[00:10:31]  There was a moment where you were just.
[00:10:32]  Yeah, I was like, oh, I don't think I believe in this.
[00:10:35]  Drugs and anything?
[00:10:36]  No, no, I just, there was this, I wanted to turn off a light on Shabbos once and I didn't do it, but I was worried about people.
[00:10:41]  It's in the special a little bit, but like people going by my window in Jerusalem, you're shale.
[00:10:46]  And they're like, I'll get in trouble if they see my light go off.
[00:10:50]  But then it just like struck for about a year.
[00:10:52]  I struggled.
[00:10:52]  I was like, why would I care about the people seeing me?
[00:10:54]  It's not their law.
[00:10:56]  It's God's law.
[00:10:57]  So he has to take that up with me.
[00:10:59]  Yeah, that's who I'd fear, not these people.
[00:11:02]  And I'm like, and then I'm like, maybe I don't really believe in them.
[00:11:05]  Like I always say, like, if you're jerking off, like, if your dad's in the room, you're not just going to jerk off.
[00:11:09]  Because he'd be like, what are you doing?
[00:11:10]  Like, oh my God, like, I didn't know you were real.
[00:11:12]  Like, you're positive he's real.
[00:11:13]  So you just, you don't do it, you know?
[00:11:16]  But like, if you weren't sure, you're like, I don't know, I don't know.
[00:11:19]  Bad I say, but it's not a real thing, you know?
[00:11:22]  It had nothing to do with that.
[00:11:23]  Like, yeah, and I just didn't believe in it.
[00:11:25]  So I had to like, I had to make a hard decision to get out.
[00:11:28]  I didn't fade away like a lot of Jews.
[00:11:30]  I was like, I'm done.
[00:11:31]  Did you have friends outside of the community?
[00:11:33]  No.
[00:11:34]  Whoa.
[00:11:34]  Yeah.
[00:11:35]  It was hard.
[00:11:36]  This is why you're comfortable being alone.
[00:11:37]  I was always curious about you with this.
[00:11:38]  It's like, you...
[00:11:41]  No.
[00:11:41]  This is why you're a dork loser.
[00:11:43]  No, no, no, no.
[00:11:43]  Like, when you went on the track.
[00:11:45]  You're not doing it, bro.
[00:11:45]  This is why you're stoke.
[00:11:47]  I mean it.
[00:11:48]  So we're waiting a long time to have this out.
[00:11:50]  No, after your fucking show, which is absolutely brilliant, the storytelling show.
[00:11:55]  That's not happening.
[00:11:56]  Yeah.
[00:11:56]  So it's like it was so good.
[00:11:58]  And you created a cool, unique thing in the stand-up space, which almost never happens.
[00:12:05]  Everybody tries to recreate the same thing where they take your joke and they act out the sketch.
[00:12:08]  Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
[00:12:09]  It's the same thing over and over again.
[00:12:11]  But you just did a storytelling show, and it's really great.
[00:12:13]  And you got people who weren't even necessarily stand-ups doing it, but the story worked in that space.
[00:12:17]  Like sometimes, yeah, like I think Carrotop told a fucking story.
[00:12:20]  There's NGWK, Henry Wallins told a great one.
[00:12:23]  Yeah, yeah.
[00:12:24]  Anyway, power storytelling, we can get into that.
[00:12:25]  But then after that, you go in this fucking, you go in this, like, Stella got her groove back.
[00:12:30]  Yeah.
[00:12:30]  And like, you went around the world.
[00:12:32]  And then you will go around the world.
[00:12:33]  And I'm like, wait, what's going on?
[00:12:34]  Like, how do you?
[00:12:35]  Yeah, it was a big fight I got into at Comedy Central.
[00:12:37]  Remember Comedy Central?
[00:12:38]  No, I don't.
[00:12:39]  They were a big network.
[00:12:41]  Yeah.
[00:12:41]  Yeah.
[00:12:42]  Everybody wanted to get on there.
[00:12:44]  Yeah.
[00:12:45]  Yeah.
[00:12:46]  They were like, come on, we got to start the next.
[00:12:47]  It was eight months of editing.
[00:12:48]  It took forever.
[00:12:49]  And they're like, you don't have to do it.
[00:12:50]  Let someone else handle it.
[00:12:50]  I'm like, ugh.
[00:12:51]  Yeah, they don't get it.
[00:12:52]  No, you don't.
[00:12:53]  But you go and you go alone and you're on the show.
[00:12:54]  And I was like, wow, that's so weird that you would be able to.
[00:12:56]  I want to see the world.
[00:12:57]  Yeah.
[00:12:58]  So you just walked away from the show and then went and saw the world?
[00:13:00]  No, first I went to see it.
[00:13:01]  I was like, we got to slow down.
[00:13:02]  And they're like, Duncan Trussell told me, he was like, well, I'm like, I don't know what to do.
[00:13:05]  He goes, well, you want to see the world.
[00:13:08]  And this network television pro place wants you to not see the world.
[00:13:14]  So what do you mean?
[00:13:15]  What's the question?
[00:13:16]  He's like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
[00:13:18]  So I was like, guys, I'm out for however long.
[00:13:19]  I don't know.
[00:13:20]  What did you want to see?
[00:13:21]  Just want to go travel, see the world.
[00:13:23]  Yeah.
[00:13:23]  I did one gig in China.
[00:13:26]  I did a China run.
[00:13:27]  And I was opened up after that.
[00:13:28]  Yeah.
[00:13:29]  I was like, I want to go everywhere.
[00:13:30]  I remember when I was traveling the last few years, it had been all about trying to see the greatest things that man has created.
[00:13:36]  Like, I want to see the pyramid.
[00:13:38]  I didn't fucking see the Great Wall yet, but was it crazy or really?
[00:13:42]  No, not really.
[00:13:43]  It's amazing.
[00:13:44]  No, no, it looks overrated to me.
[00:13:46]  No, it's so big and so far.
[00:13:48]  It just keeps going and going.
[00:13:49]  Really?
[00:13:50]  Yeah.
[00:13:50]  Okay, fair enough.
[00:13:51]  That shit look mad low in some ways.
[00:13:52]  Yeah, it is low.
[00:13:53]  You could get over it.
[00:13:54]  Yeah.
[00:13:54]  But you would have to go over the mountains with a giant ladder.
[00:13:56]  And they had these openings for arrows.
[00:13:58]  Imagine coming up and it's just fucking, you couldn't get to these people.
[00:14:00]  It's just an arrow hole.
[00:14:02]  And you're like, bring it.
[00:14:03]  Oh.
[00:14:03]  Yeah, but how are they going to have people lined up the whole thing?
[00:14:05]  And whatever.
[00:14:05]  It doesn't.
[00:14:06]  But I remember just wanting to see all these.
[00:14:08]  It's a raid of them.
[00:14:09]  Yeah, it's China.
[00:14:09]  Now, back in the day, it was half a bill.
[00:14:12]  They weren't all connected back then.
[00:14:14]  Space.
[00:14:15]  I don't believe that either.
[00:14:16]  Yeah, it's a screw right now.
[00:14:18]  You can see from space.
[00:14:19]  You can't see anything from space.
[00:14:20]  Yeah, that's a good question.
[00:14:20]  You're right.
[00:14:21]  You can't see it.
[00:14:21]  They make things up all the time.
[00:14:23]  You can see the lights of Las Vegas from space.
[00:14:25]  No, you can't.
[00:14:25]  They said when Flash Dance came out, people were dancing in the aisles in the movie theater.
[00:14:28]  And I'm like, that's not true.
[00:14:30]  No, zero chance.
[00:14:31]  You could hear that from space, actually, though.
[00:14:33]  You could hear that.
[00:14:34]  That's what happens when you leave a religion.
[00:14:35]  Everything's like, that's not true.
[00:14:37]  Actually, no.
[00:14:39]  The oil lasted forever.
[00:14:41]  But I went through that fucking experience where I wanted to see the greatest thing that man created.
[00:14:44]  You go to the pyramids.
[00:14:44]  And I went to the fucking pyramids.
[00:14:45]  They're great, right?
[00:14:47]  That was.
[00:14:48]  It's just like, what the fuck?
[00:14:50]  You're welcome.
[00:14:54]  Yeah, you touch these stones and they're like, instantly, you're like, that's 8,000 years ago.
[00:14:59]  You're touching the same fucking thing.
[00:15:01]  Not redone.
[00:15:03]  It's crazy.
[00:15:04]  And then you go see, and that's where I was.
[00:15:06]  I was just recently, I was like in Utah and I saw what I saw what time can create, not people.
[00:15:13]  Just fucking time.
[00:15:15]  Water and sand.
[00:15:17]  And that was the most profound thing I've ever seen.
[00:15:21]  It was just seeing fucking 100 million years of just water slowly trickling through sand.
[00:15:28]  It is crazy, man.
[00:15:29]  Like, yeah, erosion.
[00:15:30]  Erosion, man.
[00:15:32]  We're here for such a short amount of time.
[00:15:35]  You ever do that thing when you go to the beach, like you pour water and it's like a little line in the sand?
[00:15:39]  And then like you do it over and over and it actually makes like a little canyon.
[00:15:42]  Yeah, a little early erosion.
[00:15:43]  Yeah, legit.
[00:15:44]  Like that shit is amazing.
[00:15:44]  And then you're, we did it one time in the Grand Canyon and you're like, oh, like it puts the whole shit in perspective.
[00:15:50]  This is so big.
[00:15:52]  Yeah.
[00:15:52]  And you're here for just a little part.
[00:15:53]  A little bit.
[00:15:54]  That's what you're going to get.
[00:15:55]  Spended fucking argument with people on the internet.
[00:15:56]  A hundred.
[00:15:58]  Dude, it puts it just puts things in perspective.
[00:16:00]  It's like, what the fuck are we doing?
[00:16:01]  Like, why would I waste a single second of my time?
[00:16:03]  Yeah.
[00:16:04]  Why would I be bothered by a single thing?
[00:16:06]  Nothing matters in the grand scheme of things.
[00:16:08]  Think about it.
[00:16:08]  200 years, what can change in 200 years?
[00:16:11]  Forgotten.
[00:16:12]  Completely forgotten.
[00:16:13]  Everything makes me so like, it makes everything feel useless.
[00:16:16]  But then that's the other thing.
[00:16:17]  It's like, how do you not become like a nihilist?
[00:16:19]  Like, you have to block that out.
[00:16:20]  I'm like, dude, then what the fuck am I even doing?
[00:16:22]  You have to think that you have to care enough to be the best version, I guess, of yourself and treat people well.
[00:16:29]  Yeah, it's just so you don't do it.
[00:16:30]  You don't do it for like what the stories are going to write about you.
[00:16:32]  Exactly.
[00:16:33]  Because it's like that, that'll be free.
[00:16:34]  You do it for each interaction right now.
[00:16:35]  Yeah.
[00:16:36]  Which is why I was impressed when you went away because it felt like it was something you were doing for yourself.
[00:16:39]  Yeah, where did you want to go?
[00:16:40]  Where did you go?
[00:16:41]  Started in Myanmar.
[00:16:42]  Which is how many.
[00:16:44]  Yeah, nobody goes to Myanmar.
[00:16:45]  I just went, I got a few.
[00:16:46]  I was like, I just had Southeast Asia and then I got a few of the people.
[00:16:49]  Can you explain Myanmar real quick?
[00:16:50]  Like right now, there's a fucking coup going on in Myanmar.
[00:16:52]  There's absolutely no Western influence at all.
[00:16:55]  I can't believe you chose to go there.
[00:16:56]  Yeah, it was just, I looked at the weather.
[00:16:58]  What's the weather in Southeast Asia?
[00:16:59]  Where's the best weather?
[00:17:01]  So like two days out, I was like, I'll go to Myanmar.
[00:17:03]  Yeah, dude.
[00:17:04]  Like, what's the Miami of Southeast Asia?
[00:17:06]  Like, what can we do?
[00:17:07]  It's Cuba.
[00:17:08]  What is it about Skabi Central that makes people go crazy?
[00:17:14]  You didn't go to Israel though.
[00:17:16]  Oh, so Asia, way further than Africa.
[00:17:18]  You are more impressed.
[00:17:20]  Okay.
[00:17:20]  So you go.
[00:17:22]  Yo, Copy Central, you'd be breaking people, bro.
[00:17:25]  That's crazy.
[00:17:26]  Yeah.
[00:17:27]  Okay, so Myanmar, you go.
[00:17:29]  Yeah, so I went.
[00:17:30]  I fucking called an Uber and then I put my phone in my drawer, left it there, and just took off.
[00:17:36]  Just left.
[00:17:36]  Wanted to, you know, get, I don't know, squander.
[00:17:40]  Yeah, someone said.
[00:17:40]  Got a hotel the first night.
[00:17:41]  Then I got started getting hostels.
[00:17:43]  Yeah.
[00:17:44]  Stayed in Myanmar for like almost four weeks.
[00:17:46]  How much money do you have in the bank at that point?
[00:17:49]  Probably like 100 grand, but I didn't take all that with me.
[00:17:51]  I probably took like 10 grand with me.
[00:17:52]  Yeah.
[00:17:53]  And then like Myanmar to Thailand for a little bit, Cambodia, Vietnam.
[00:17:59]  Fuck any hookers.
[00:18:01]  Yes.
[00:18:08]  Have you heard anything this man has said?
[00:18:11]  No weather.
[00:18:15]  Yeah.
[00:18:15]  Wait a minute.
[00:18:17]  Thailand, dude.
[00:18:17]  It's hard to do.
[00:18:19]  Talk to me about the Thai hookers.
[00:18:20]  Okay.
[00:18:20]  The only question is the one big question.
[00:18:23]  Yeah.
[00:18:23]  You don't ask it.
[00:18:24]  And then you don't ask them to.
[00:18:26]  Just if you go anal either way, then nothing matters.
[00:18:28]  Yeah, what's the diff?
[00:18:29]  Yeah, why are you paying for box, dude?
[00:18:31]  Like the box on your prompts.
[00:18:33]  Yeah.
[00:18:33]  Dude, it's so weird seeing the shriveled up little bonies.
[00:18:36]  Wait, what?
[00:18:37]  Two of the ladyboy shows.
[00:18:38]  Oh, and then we'll feel like it's like, oh, hold on.
[00:18:45]  Hold on.
[00:18:45]  A lot of the little D's, but it's like they're taking the, I don't know, the estrogen or whatever.
[00:18:49]  And it's just like the shriveled up, like, it's just like so small.
[00:18:52]  Yeah.
[00:18:53]  What the fuck?
[00:18:54]  I thought he was out of brisk.
[00:18:55]  I was like, oh, yeah.
[00:18:57]  That went too far.
[00:18:59]  Oh, it went too deep.
[00:19:02]  Okay, so the Thai hookers, did you do anything?
[00:19:04]  Is it?
[00:19:04]  Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[00:19:05]  It's great.
[00:19:05]  Ladyboy or no?
[00:19:06]  No.
[00:19:06]  I tried to get in Ladyboy.
[00:19:08]  I really did.
[00:19:10]  I was really trying to go into like, this is before this trip, but like, I figured like, because I've seen them and they're, some of them are gorgeous.
[00:19:18]  Yeah.
[00:19:18]  Like on a level of like, yeah, like better than the women you'll see.
[00:19:23]  Even like a hot girls of New York are like, that's right there with any model I've seen.
[00:19:26]  Yeah.
[00:19:26]  So I'm like, I should fuck a ladyboy unless I'm homophobic.
[00:19:31]  The only reason not to do it if I'm homophobic.
[00:19:33]  And I'm like, I'm not homophobic.
[00:19:35]  So why wouldn't I?
[00:19:37]  They're hot.
[00:19:38]  Why would you not fuck a hot person?
[00:19:40]  Yeah.
[00:19:40]  This is like a very total reason to fucking ladies.
[00:19:44]  So I went, some are like, no, no, beards and like, and like, like, I'm a lady man.
[00:19:50]  All right, all right.
[00:19:51]  Yeah.
[00:19:51]  That, that, you know, okay, I'm not as attracted to that.
[00:19:53]  But I'm like attracting these people.
[00:19:54]  It's only the idea that there's a dick there.
[00:19:56]  Yeah.
[00:19:56]  So I found one that was just gorgeous.
[00:19:59]  And I was like, let's go the other road.
[00:20:02]  Yeah.
[00:20:03]  And then we got to the door and then my legs wouldn't go on.
[00:20:06]  I'm homophobic.
[00:20:09]  Yeah.
[00:20:10]  Yeah.
[00:20:11]  My legs wouldn't let me go in.
[00:20:12]  I'm a full homophobe.
[00:20:13]  I don't think that makes you homophobic.
[00:20:15]  I disagree.
[00:20:19]  Do you hate them?
[00:20:20]  No.
[00:20:21]  You just have a fear.
[00:20:23]  What's the fear?
[00:20:25]  You're just not turned on.
[00:20:26]  I am turned on, though.
[00:20:27]  Oh, you are.
[00:20:28]  That's a hot woman.
[00:20:29]  So why would you not fuck a hot woman who wants to fuck for, I don't know.
[00:20:32]  Oh, actually, I guess the breakdown is you're attracted to them, but you're not acting on the attraction because you must hate the act.
[00:20:39]  Ooh.
[00:20:39]  Yeah, something like that.
[00:20:40]  Yeah.
[00:20:41]  Interesting.
[00:20:43]  Yeah, if your friend's chick comes on to you, you don't do, you want to, but you're like, no.
[00:20:46]  Yeah.
[00:20:46]  That's my friend's chick.
[00:20:47]  There's a reason not to.
[00:20:48]  It's a reason not to fuck this person.
[00:20:49]  Did you try kissing them a little bit?
[00:20:51]  Or speaking?
[00:20:52]  Did they speak to you?
[00:20:53]  Homophobia, by the way?
[00:20:54]  I don't know.
[00:20:55]  What would it be?
[00:20:57]  Did you get in the mood?
[00:20:58]  Maybe you just need to warm up a little.
[00:21:00]  Maybe.
[00:21:01]  Was it the accent?
[00:21:02]  I mean, every hooker.
[00:21:02]  Who's gotten hookers here?
[00:21:04]  Yeah.
[00:21:04]  Nice.
[00:21:05]  Mary didn't admitting it.
[00:21:06]  No.
[00:21:07]  Sadly, no.
[00:21:07]  It's nerve-wracking, right?
[00:21:09]  When you're like in Tijuana or wherever, you're like, oh, it's like more than just regular sex.
[00:21:13]  It's like, there's money involved.
[00:21:15]  Am I doing it right?
[00:21:15]  Am I doing it right?
[00:21:16]  I don't know.
[00:21:18]  Yeah.

=== Google Translate and Traveler Scams (15:45) ===

[00:21:21]  I mean, it's probably easy now.
[00:21:22]  I got a lap dance at Norman's bachelor party and just fully jizzed my fucking shorts.
[00:21:27]  Yeah.
[00:21:28]  She knew what was happening.
[00:21:29]  And I was like, oh, she's like, just kept going.
[00:21:31]  I was like, no, no.
[00:21:32]  Did you try to play it cool?
[00:21:33]  You're like, I did.
[00:21:34]  I still got half a song.
[00:21:35]  And you're like, you don't want to cuddle at the strip.
[00:21:41]  You're like, can we just hold each other for the rest of the day?
[00:21:43]  She knew what she was doing.
[00:21:44]  She got right at the switch.
[00:21:45]  And then she's like, no.
[00:21:47]  So do you make her keep dancing?
[00:21:49]  You're like, maybe work the knee a little.
[00:21:52]  I don't know.
[00:21:56]  Yeah, that wasn't the best part of Southeast Asia, though, with not the hookers.
[00:22:00]  What was the best part?
[00:22:00]  Just being lost.
[00:22:02]  It's so different.
[00:22:02]  It's so foreign.
[00:22:03]  And you went completely alone.
[00:22:05]  Yeah.
[00:22:05]  I feel like traveling alone is the best because then you just have no excuse not to like talk.
[00:22:09]  Traveling alone is the best, but no phone is kind of crazy in a country where you don't speak the language.
[00:22:14]  Like you're alone, dog.
[00:22:15]  You're fucking alone.
[00:22:16]  You find hostels.
[00:22:17]  You find other people, other travelers.
[00:22:18]  You meet like Germans and like Australians and shit.
[00:22:21]  You feel a little sketchy.
[00:22:22]  You're okay?
[00:22:23]  Was there any part that you were like, ooh, this is a little dicey?
[00:22:26]  Every dangerous part was in my head.
[00:22:29]  Every time, like, oh, this is shady as shit.
[00:22:32]  I was in East Timor and they were like, be careful.
[00:22:36]  There's like full-on bandits there.
[00:22:38]  My brother, my half-brothers, and the captain of the army, he's like, don't go, don't go any east of Dili of the capital.
[00:22:44]  He's like, I wouldn't go there at all, but definitely don't go east.
[00:22:46]  And I'm fucking riding a moped by myself, like the easternmost.
[00:22:51]  These two guys pass me with like a fucking overalls and like, and I'm like, fuck, and they keep passing me and then they're waiting, like smoking cigarettes before I'm passed by or coveralls, you know, like work clothes.
[00:23:02]  And then I passed, no, you're right to ask.
[00:23:05]  And then they're just watching me pass by.
[00:23:06]  I'm like, fuck.
[00:23:07]  And then they get in their motorcycles.
[00:23:08]  They pass by me again.
[00:23:09]  I'm like, fuck, I'm in the middle of fucking nowhere.
[00:23:12]  And then they're stopping and like, where are you going?
[00:23:13]  I'm like, I'm going to this fucking city.
[00:23:16]  Like one spoke broken English and he's like, do you want to come with us?
[00:23:20]  I'm like, no, what?
[00:23:22]  No.
[00:23:22]  And I'm so fucking nervous.
[00:23:23]  And he's like, and he's like, there's a place to sleep up there.
[00:23:27]  And I just took a chance.
[00:23:27]  And I was like, what is it?
[00:23:29]  He goes, it's a family reunion.
[00:23:31]  And they just invited me up with him.
[00:23:32]  And all these tattoos, all crosses and shit.
[00:23:35]  They're just super Christians who would try to be like helpful.
[00:23:38]  Yeah.
[00:23:38]  And we went to the top of this fucking highest mountain there, slept overnight in this weird hut, and then just watched the sunrise over East Timor.
[00:23:46]  It was crazy.
[00:23:46]  It was so cool.
[00:23:47]  But it was all my, and he's like, like, this is dangerous as shit.
[00:23:50]  If you didn't take the chance, you would have been like, I narrowly avoided something bad.
[00:23:54]  And then you tell yourself the story of how I got away, how I escaped.
[00:23:57]  Yeah.
[00:23:57]  And I see it.
[00:23:58]  And you're like, it's just what escape.
[00:23:59]  You don't even know from what Christian's trying to be inviting.
[00:24:01]  Yeah.
[00:24:02]  Yeah.
[00:24:03]  Oh, that's true.
[00:24:03]  One of them spoke a little English, maybe two of them.
[00:24:06]  That's historically not that kind of a thing, though.
[00:24:08]  Christian's trying to be inviting.
[00:24:09]  They're usually inviting you to convert.
[00:24:11]  Yeah, exactly.
[00:24:12]  Did they drive?
[00:24:13]  No.
[00:24:13]  That was great.
[00:24:14]  No, they're just really welcoming.
[00:24:15]  Any moment that you were scared, any like absolutely terrifying moment where something could have been horribly wrong, narrowly avoided.
[00:24:22]  Yeah, on that on that motorcycle trip, I remember coming around a curve and like the ledge is here and it's just straight down.
[00:24:28]  And I went too far over and I had to put my foot down, but there's nothing to put it onto.
[00:24:32]  And I'm like, fuck, and I start tipping and I just hit a root that stuck out and I just fucking pushed it back up.
[00:24:38]  And I was like, that was bad.
[00:24:39]  Whoa.
[00:24:40]  I was like, I thought of my mom.
[00:24:41]  If she saw that, she'd be like, what the fuck?
[00:24:43]  Come home now.
[00:24:44]  Whoa.
[00:24:45]  Yeah.
[00:24:45]  And they would have never known.
[00:24:46]  They would have never known.
[00:24:47]  I would have just been in the fucking gully somewhere.
[00:24:50]  In a landmark for a hiker or something.
[00:24:52]  It's crazy.
[00:24:53]  That's what I'm saying.
[00:24:53]  Not even a cross by the side of it.
[00:24:56]  Somebody throw some leaves on.
[00:24:57]  Jesus, man.
[00:24:58]  Yeah, but mostly it was just fun.
[00:25:00]  No danger.
[00:25:01]  Were you kind of cynical about humanity before you went?
[00:25:03]  And did it change your perspective on people?
[00:25:05]  No, but you get used to a little bit of like the luxuries we have here.
[00:25:08]  Like, don't take it for granted.
[00:25:10]  Yeah.
[00:25:10]  When I got home, the number one thing I know, the first thing I really noticed four and a half months out there was like the toilet paper.
[00:25:16]  Toilet.
[00:25:17]  Yeah.
[00:25:18]  The whole toilet situation.
[00:25:20]  It's just a phenomenal.
[00:25:22]  You can't get it unless you're out there.
[00:25:24]  And you're like, what the fuck are we doing?
[00:25:25]  There's some hole in the ground.
[00:25:26]  You got to learn how to fucking get.
[00:25:27]  Yeah, you have squat over there.
[00:25:30]  Yeah, before that, I like fall back.
[00:25:32]  Now I'm like, no.
[00:25:33]  And you're just like, oh.
[00:25:35]  It gets kind of better, though, right?
[00:25:37]  Like, you had way better movements.
[00:25:38]  They say that, but I don't know.
[00:25:40]  That's why you got the squatty potty.
[00:25:41]  Yeah.
[00:25:42]  Yeah.
[00:25:43]  I'm a big squatty potty believer.
[00:25:45]  I've always wanted a squatty potty.
[00:25:46]  If you ever see Chinese tourists, you'll see footprints on toilets.
[00:25:49]  Yeah, yeah.
[00:25:50]  Yeah, they just get on there.
[00:25:51]  Here's how cheap an Indian we are.
[00:25:52]  We don't even get a squatty potty.
[00:25:54]  You just use a footstool.
[00:25:55]  No.
[00:25:55]  Same.
[00:25:55]  Really?
[00:25:56]  Yeah.
[00:25:57]  That is white of me that I needed like it's the same thing.
[00:25:59]  Why spend money?
[00:26:00]  Yeah, exactly.
[00:26:01]  I needed a branded product.
[00:26:02]  That's such a good point.
[00:26:04]  Yeah, fuck.
[00:26:04]  Did it change comedy at all for you?
[00:26:07]  Ah, that's what I wanted to ask.
[00:26:08]  Yeah.
[00:26:09]  Hmm.
[00:26:10]  No, I don't think so.
[00:26:11]  I mean, what I found, same thing with COVID.
[00:26:14]  I went away for COVID, went to Ecuador for a few months, for six months.
[00:26:17]  I just stopped writing.
[00:26:18]  I wasn't even thinking about it.
[00:26:19]  It was kind of sad.
[00:26:20]  But did it affect your writing when you got back?
[00:26:22]  You have all these new perspectives, all these new experiences.
[00:26:24]  No, some stories.
[00:26:25]  I got some stories out of it, you know, for sure, for sure.
[00:26:29]  I don't have a show to put them on, but I still do them on stage.
[00:26:35]  Yeah.
[00:26:36]  Yeah.
[00:26:36]  But some, just some wild, it's just like, I don't know, it's just like you get a better understanding of like that you have your own cultural ideas of things.
[00:26:45]  Yeah.
[00:26:45]  Even just the street signs are in a slightly different font.
[00:26:48]  Or, you know, it's just like, yeah, when you get out there, you're like, my world is smaller than the whole world.
[00:26:52]  Yeah.
[00:26:53]  So you just traveled to all these countries.
[00:26:55]  No problems.
[00:26:56]  No problems.
[00:26:57]  Are you?
[00:26:57]  Oh, are you in the massab?
[00:27:01]  What's going on?
[00:27:02]  East Timor was a problem.
[00:27:03]  I couldn't get it to East Timor.
[00:27:04]  I had to get a three or four day like waiting period to get in.
[00:27:06]  And then I had like a Swiss friend and she was like, no, just walk across the border.
[00:27:10]  And I'm like, doesn't work that way for Americans.
[00:27:12]  Yeah.
[00:27:13]  Americans can't get in everywhere.
[00:27:15]  Really?
[00:27:15]  Yeah, we fuck with people too much.
[00:27:17]  Yeah.
[00:27:17]  Yeah.
[00:27:17]  So they have reparations or whatever.
[00:27:19]  And then you put the call on it and y'all.
[00:27:24]  Good.
[00:27:25]  Yeah.
[00:27:25]  Yeah.
[00:27:25]  Living to have the stories.
[00:27:28]  There's so much freedom.
[00:27:29]  When you don't care where you're going, like long-term travel, it's like, oh, I'll go from this city.
[00:27:33]  Imagine long-term travel in America if you're not from America.
[00:27:35]  You visit Chicago.
[00:27:36]  You're like, after Chicago, go to Milwaukee.
[00:27:38]  And someone said, hey, well, you know, in Fort Wayne, there's this big, big convention of whatever going on.
[00:27:43]  You're like, no, no, no, no, go to Fort Wayne instead.
[00:27:46]  It's just like, I pitched this to my wife for Christmas.
[00:27:49]  And I was like, well, why don't we just fly somewhere in South America and then we'll like figure it out while we're there.
[00:27:54]  And it was really hard for, you know, she likes to plan.
[00:27:57]  She likes to, and it's great because we go on these fucking great vacations.
[00:28:00]  I'm not upset about it.
[00:28:01]  But I like the idea of us going to Peru and be like, no, this is nice.
[00:28:04]  Let's stay a few more days.
[00:28:05]  Yeah, let's say, right, wait, why have to leave?
[00:28:07]  Yeah.
[00:28:07]  So much freedom when you can just stay like, oh, we didn't know this thing was available.
[00:28:10]  Let's go.
[00:28:11]  It is also different when you have four days there as opposed to four months.
[00:28:14]  100%.
[00:28:15]  You just don't maximize.
[00:28:16]  Yeah.
[00:28:16]  Yeah.
[00:28:17]  What was the most like the most interesting impromptu thing where someone was like, hey, do you want to just go do this thing with us?
[00:28:21]  That wasn't, you weren't not even in your mind to explore.
[00:28:24]  That probably, the Mount BC, the mountain up there was up there.
[00:28:28]  Let me think what else.
[00:28:31]  I went, so I just got eventually sick of like backpackers and hostlers.
[00:28:34]  And I just like Googled, I was in Vietnam.
[00:28:36]  I was in Ho Chi Minh.
[00:28:37]  And I was like, where are there no white people in Vietnam?
[00:28:40]  And I found some city in the south, Cho Dock.
[00:28:43]  And I was like, let's go to Chodok.
[00:28:45]  And yeah, it was an overnight.
[00:28:47]  It was like a 13-hour overnight bus.
[00:28:49]  Try to make friends through Google Translate with this guy.
[00:28:51]  Yeah.
[00:28:55]  Yeah.
[00:28:55]  What?
[00:28:55]  What?
[00:28:58]  What'd you do?
[00:28:59]  What did you do?
[00:29:01]  We can cut it.
[00:29:02]  We can cut it if it's too crazy.
[00:29:04]  So I met this guy and I'm meeting him over Google Translate, which is so cool, Google Translate.
[00:29:09]  I saw a fucking German and a Chinese lady in Thailand hook up, fully fucked.
[00:29:14]  Nobody speaks their shows language on Google Translate.
[00:29:16]  It's great.
[00:29:17]  Spreading STDs everywhere.
[00:29:19]  But so I'm talking to him, what are you doing here?
[00:29:21]  Can we take a picture?
[00:29:22]  Like, sure, they love taking pictures of white people in Asia.
[00:29:25]  Black people, they'll love a dread.
[00:29:27]  They'll just like, can I touch it?
[00:29:28]  Or they won't even ask.
[00:29:28]  They'll just touch it.
[00:29:29]  And you'll be like, excuse me.
[00:29:30]  And they'll be like, come here.
[00:29:33]  Yeah.
[00:29:34]  But so we're talking a little bit.
[00:29:36]  And it's a sleeper bus.
[00:29:38]  It goes like that, like three rows of it.
[00:29:40]  But I can't sleep because it's Vietnam size.
[00:29:42]  So it only goes up to my two.
[00:29:44]  And there's a row in the back for five chairs altogether, which they wouldn't let anybody sit there.
[00:29:51]  I couldn't get a ticket there.
[00:29:52]  I'm like, why not?
[00:29:52]  I'm like, why can't you go back there?
[00:29:54]  It was not permitted.
[00:29:54]  And I was like, eventually I'm getting so frustrated.
[00:29:57]  And I was like, fuck it.
[00:29:58]  Everyone's sleeping.
[00:29:58]  And I'm like, I'm going back there.
[00:30:00]  And I'm sleeping diagonal over these things.
[00:30:02]  And then the fucking Vietnamese guy, well, they're all Vietnamese guy, but the one I was talking to turns around, looks for me.
[00:30:08]  And I just, I, I was just kind of like, hey, I'm fine.
[00:30:11]  I'm here.
[00:30:12]  So he kind of comes back and he like lays there.
[00:30:14]  And I was like, all right.
[00:30:16]  And then I'm like kind of laying on my two seats and he's laying on his two.
[00:30:20]  And then he just started trying to jerk me off.
[00:30:31]  And you had to Google Translate.
[00:30:32]  No, you don't have to Google Translate, no.
[00:30:34]  He's like, uh-oh.
[00:30:36]  And I was like, what size did I give off?
[00:30:39]  Because it wasn't like he was going too fast.
[00:30:41]  Were you wearing this shirt?
[00:30:42]  Because I might have done it actually as a giveaway.
[00:30:45]  I was like, I had no interest in sexual things with him.
[00:30:48]  Yeah.
[00:30:48]  And he just went straight to a fucking handy.
[00:30:50]  That's why black people hated the back of the bus, bro.
[00:30:55]  Impromptu handy.
[00:30:56]  Yeah.
[00:30:58]  It's like, come on, don't pump me back there.
[00:31:00]  Okay, so you take it in off.
[00:31:01]  Do you continue the convo through Google Translate?
[00:31:03]  No, I just laid there.
[00:31:04]  It got very tense.
[00:31:06]  And then, and then he's like, kind of waited.
[00:31:08]  I bet he was going like, did I read that wrong?
[00:31:12]  I swear, dude.
[00:31:13]  He was like, get back.
[00:31:15]  And I'm like, does he do that a lot?
[00:31:17]  You did wave.
[00:31:18]  I did this.
[00:31:19]  He didn't even want to jerk you off.
[00:31:20]  He's being polite.
[00:31:21]  He's like, this guy's a visitor.
[00:31:23]  I got to take care of this guy.
[00:31:24]  He's got a fucking jerk off seats.
[00:31:26]  I don't know.
[00:31:26]  I guess I'm going to.
[00:31:27]  He thought that I will hand job.
[00:31:28]  That's what he thought that meant.
[00:31:30]  Yeah.
[00:31:31]  Look what it's attached to.
[00:31:36]  Yeah, we lay there for a while.
[00:31:37]  I guess he thought, like, I wasn't like, no, no, no, come on.
[00:31:39]  I was just like, and then he got up, went to his seat.
[00:31:42]  And then I was worried.
[00:31:43]  I was like, what if he steals my shit?
[00:31:46]  Yeah.
[00:31:47]  But then I had to think, like, that's not a gay stereotype.
[00:31:51]  Yeah.
[00:31:52]  Yeah.
[00:31:52]  You turn me down.
[00:31:53]  I'm a thief now.
[00:31:54]  Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[00:31:54]  I'm like, that's, that's unrelated.
[00:31:56]  And eventually I managed to go to sleep.
[00:31:58]  When I woke up, he got off one of the stubs.
[00:32:00]  No.
[00:32:00]  Yeah.
[00:32:01]  Damn.
[00:32:01]  Wait, you stayed in that back row?
[00:32:03]  Yeah, I didn't want to go back because I was going to be right next to him.
[00:32:05]  You were sitting next to him.
[00:32:06]  Yeah.
[00:32:06]  So that guy went back.
[00:32:07]  So you got to.
[00:32:08]  Now someone else had come back there and was like, hey, I'm like, he's on me now.
[00:32:12]  I'm giving up.
[00:32:14]  It's his row.
[00:32:16]  Maybe I is.
[00:32:17]  That's a jerk off area.
[00:32:18]  Yeah, exactly.
[00:32:18]  It might be the jerk off area.
[00:32:20]  And nothing happened in the sleep and I'm like a wet dream or anything.
[00:32:22]  Uh-uh.
[00:32:22]  Uh-uh.
[00:32:24]  Wet dream.
[00:32:26]  They're like a tooth fairy.
[00:32:27]  Like they could be crafty, like sneak up in there.
[00:32:29]  Put a Vietnamese spell on me.
[00:32:30]  Yeah, exactly.
[00:32:32]  What is your dad?
[00:32:33]  Yeah, coming one way or another.
[00:32:36]  That's guerrilla warfare.
[00:32:37]  Yeah.
[00:32:37]  I'm curious, like, do you feel like you're going from like Orthodox upbringing to then living in like a secular world?
[00:32:43]  Was that a similar cultural exploration as being like an American then going all the way through Southeast Asia?
[00:32:49]  Oh.
[00:32:50]  No, I mean, I knew about secular life.
[00:32:53]  Right.
[00:32:54]  From movies and stuff.
[00:32:55]  But this stuff was just wild.
[00:32:57]  What was it like when you went back from like back into secular life?
[00:33:00]  Were you going from fucking Amishes who go?
[00:33:04]  Yeah, it took a while.
[00:33:05]  My Deathbringer.
[00:33:06]  Yes, I definitely do more drugs than I should because I'm making up for lost time.
[00:33:10]  Yeah.
[00:33:10]  I'm more of a whore than I should be.
[00:33:12]  Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[00:33:13]  Because it's like, you know, when you get to a bar and everyone's drunk and you're like, oh, let me catch up.
[00:33:16]  But then you blow past them.
[00:33:18]  Yeah.
[00:33:18]  You know, is that when you don't want to have kids?
[00:33:20]  Because there was so much focus on like getting back the nah.
[00:33:24]  I just think they're disgusting.
[00:33:26]  Germ factories.
[00:33:27]  Everyone's like Asian hate.
[00:33:28]  Chinese are spreading germs.
[00:33:29]  I'm like, look at every child.
[00:33:31]  Kill them.
[00:33:33]  They're just, no, it's just like, there's just so much work.
[00:33:36]  I'm trying to think if there's any tie into atheism and not wanting to have kids.
[00:33:41]  Like, it's any artist doesn't want kids as much because they're like, you're leaving something behind for the world.
[00:33:48]  You know, you're special, you're special.
[00:33:50]  Huh.
[00:33:54]  Great studio.
[00:33:57]  But then artists have kids less because you're like, you want your lineage to continue.
[00:34:02]  Dumb fuck thing to think about.
[00:34:03]  Artists want kids less because you want to leave somebody because you already have a legacy.
[00:34:08]  Oh, you want your legacy to be about you, not something else.
[00:34:11]  You just want to leave something to the world.
[00:34:12]  That itch has been scratched where we all want to leave something behind.
[00:34:14]  You want to leave so it's like we'll see this later.
[00:34:18]  What about the idea of not living for yourself?
[00:34:21]  Nah.
[00:34:24]  That's what I'm saying.
[00:34:25]  You think it's because you tried living for God?
[00:34:27]  Oh, yeah, maybe, maybe.
[00:34:28]  And it's like, it's all about me.
[00:34:29]  And it was like, yo, this is, I was completely empty.
[00:34:31]  So I don't want to not live for myself.
[00:34:33]  Yeah, you just do anything for you.
[00:34:34]  And now you're doing stuff for you.
[00:34:36]  And it's great and it's awesome.
[00:34:36]  And you have financial backing.
[00:34:39]  It's great.
[00:34:39]  But what if you get bored of that?
[00:34:41]  What if you're like, I want to live for someone?
[00:34:43]  I'll do like volunteer work or something.
[00:34:45]  Oh, go back to God.
[00:34:47]  None of it'd be God.
[00:34:48]  It won't be.
[00:34:49]  Dad.
[00:34:50]  What?
[00:34:51]  Oh, oh, oh, I get it.
[00:34:52]  Yeah, yeah.
[00:34:52]  Nah.
[00:34:53]  Do you think there's any benefit in religion?
[00:34:55]  Yeah, tons.
[00:34:56]  It makes like good people if you follow it, right?
[00:35:00]  The last joke in that special was one of the latest taglines I got, the last taglines, was like, there's reasons.
[00:35:06]  Like, God, tell, it's good thought.
[00:35:07]  Like, it was like tying in like Noah to like to like, you know, nowadays where God's like, go get those people back.
[00:35:16]  Because nowadays, it's like, don't talk to those people.
[00:35:18]  Yeah.
[00:35:18]  Don't associate with them.
[00:35:20]  Yeah.
[00:35:20]  Where it's like, no, no.
[00:35:21]  He'd be like, go fucking try to help somebody.
[00:35:23]  Maybe you have a.
[00:35:24]  It's good teaching.
[00:35:25]  We were talking about it before.
[00:35:26]  It's like, there's good, like, I'll naturally, probably you will too.
[00:35:30]  Probably you will too.
[00:35:31]  I don't know about you heathens.
[00:35:32]  But like you're going into a store, you just, if you're to some old person, you just naturally hold the door.
[00:35:37]  It's just part of your upbringing.
[00:35:38]  Yeah.
[00:35:38]  Yeah.
[00:35:39]  You're not even thinking about it.
[00:35:40]  I'm not like, I'm not religion anymore.
[00:35:42]  So door yourself, you know?
[00:35:43]  It's just like.
[00:35:44]  Yeah.
[00:35:44]  So you already have that baked into you.
[00:35:45]  So you can be a good dude.
[00:35:47]  baked in like google yeah and i don't know what are you are you jewish or not no you're not i knew it i told everybody that i tell everybody they also say you're wrong no no not jewish but um but yeah i think i have a good example of like uh how to live i was very fortunate in that regard like so i have my religious example if you will and but i do think i think religion is important especially like Now that you're not believing in God and you can like question it,
[00:36:13]  you could see the value in the spirituality, not necessarily spirituality, but like your connectivity through it, right?
[00:36:19]  So it's like, that's kind of how I always saw religion is I saw religious people that I had encountered in my life and I was like, oh, these guys treat me really well.
[00:36:27]  Yeah, the good ones.
[00:36:28]  They're kind.
[00:36:29]  Yeah.
[00:36:29]  They believe in this something that's bigger than themselves, which I think is really beautiful.
[00:36:33]  And they're usually not like narcissistic pieces of shit like I will meet them sometimes.
[00:36:38]  And it's refreshing to be around something like that.
[00:36:41]  You ever see Jews dancing?
[00:36:42]  Like a city of Jews dancing?
[00:36:43]  They go for it.
[00:36:45]  They're so happy.
[00:36:46]  You ever seen one on a city bike?
[00:36:47]  It's the best thing you've ever seen in your entire life.
[00:36:50]  Hitting that Williamsburg Bridge.
[00:36:52]  Yeah.
[00:36:52]  Going down.
[00:36:53]  They got their fucking feet out to the side.
[00:36:58]  They're going to fly away at any second.
[00:36:59]  It's like ET.
[00:37:05]  Yeah, they're letting loose, man.

=== Miracle Code for Better Sleep (04:59) ===

[00:37:06]  When did you know your trip in Asia was done?
[00:37:09]  Like, when did you know, like, all right, it's time to go home?
[00:37:12]  I wrote a letter to my friend who started the show with me, Eric Abrams, directed the special, R issue for a Jew on YouTube right now.
[00:37:21]  They wanted to do part of the Wild West Comedy Festival, and they were going to have a show with Third Man Records.
[00:37:26]  I thought it would be cool.
[00:37:27]  It's Jack White's record company.
[00:37:28]  They're going to show there.
[00:37:29]  So I wrote a letter and I was like, hey, I could check to their home.
[00:37:33]  I'll check the website.
[00:37:35]  If it's scheduled, if that show's scheduled, I'll be there for it.
[00:37:38]  Otherwise, I'm just staying gone.
[00:37:40]  And they fucking scheduled it.
[00:37:42]  And so I went, yeah, I went straight there.
[00:37:44]  You didn't get scheduled.
[00:37:45]  Would you have just gone for like another two months?
[00:37:47]  I might never have come back.
[00:37:48]  Remember when Delta was kicking off?
[00:37:50]  And people were like, that might be the new big, it might be just as bad or worse.
[00:37:53]  Yeah.
[00:37:53]  And at first, I was a little scared.
[00:37:55]  Then I was like, I'm going to Peru.
[00:37:56]  I'm fucked.
[00:37:57]  This is perfect.
[00:37:58]  Shut everything down.
[00:37:59]  Take it out of my life.
[00:38:01]  No, I didn't go.
[00:38:02]  Really?
[00:38:02]  Well, it didn't kick off.
[00:38:04]  I didn't go to Peru.
[00:38:05]  He said second wave of the second wave of Corona.
[00:38:07]  First wave I went to Ecuador.
[00:38:08]  I went to Ecuador for six months.
[00:38:10]  Okay, okay, okay.
[00:38:11]  And how's your Spanish?
[00:38:11]  Are you like...
[00:38:12]  It's better.
[00:38:13]  Yeah.
[00:38:14]  But it's not that great.
[00:38:16]  But you came back from Mexico City.
[00:38:17]  You would try to do South America or something like that.
[00:38:23]  Yeah, I like South.
[00:38:25]  I want to go back to Asia City.
[00:38:26]  It's so cool.
[00:38:27]  That's a world-class city that nobody speaks about.
[00:38:30]  Like Paris, London, New York, Mexico City is just unbelievable.
[00:38:34]  Yeah.
[00:38:34]  I did my bachelor party in Mexico City.
[00:38:38]  Really?
[00:38:38]  Yeah.
[00:38:38]  Smart.
[00:38:39]  Yeah.
[00:38:39]  Yeah.
[00:38:40]  Sounds like a mezcal.
[00:38:41]  Yeah.
[00:38:42]  Food is great.
[00:38:42]  Party is great.
[00:38:44]  Yeah.
[00:38:45]  Yeah.
[00:38:45]  I barfed hard last night.
[00:38:47]  Last night?
[00:38:47]  Yeah.
[00:38:48]  I just went on a taco crawl.
[00:38:49]  Just tried to get one taco from every place.
[00:38:51]  I was like, I'm full, but I want more.
[00:38:55]  There was mezcal there too, but no.
[00:38:57]  A pure food-induced vomit, that's impressive.
[00:38:59]  I've done that.
[00:38:59]  Yeah, just in corner sheet text.
[00:39:03]  It's got to come out.
[00:39:04]  It's got to come out.
[00:39:05]  Your body's like, what the fuck are you doing?
[00:39:07]  All right, guys, we're going to take a break for a second because some of y'all are not getting the sleep recovery you need.
[00:39:11]  And I'll tell you why you're not getting the sleep recovery you need.
[00:39:14]  Okay.
[00:39:14]  You're either too hot, you're too cold, your rhythms are getting messed up.
[00:39:19]  You're waking up without even knowing that you're waking up.
[00:39:22]  I'm telling you right now that the temperature at night has one of the greatest impacts on your sleep quality.
[00:39:28]  Okay.
[00:39:28]  You wake up too hot or too cold, man.
[00:39:30]  You're screwed.
[00:39:32]  So I highly recommend you check out Miracle Brands bed sheets.
[00:39:35]  Okay.
[00:39:35]  They have self-cooling properties for better quality sleep using silver-infused fabrics originally developed for NASA, baby.
[00:39:43]  Miracle brand sheets are thermoregulating and designed to keep you at the perfect temperature all night long.
[00:39:51]  So you get better sleep every single night.
[00:39:54]  Okay, they're self-cleaning.
[00:39:55]  Also, these sheets are infused with natural silver.
[00:39:57]  They prevent 99.9% of bacterial growth, leaving them to stay cleaner and fresher three times longer than other sheets.
[00:40:04]  Fellas, did you hear that?
[00:40:06]  No gross odors.
[00:40:07]  Fellas, did you hear that?
[00:40:08]  I know that you're not washing your sheets.
[00:40:09]  I didn't wash my sheets not once in four years of college.
[00:40:12]  Think about that.
[00:40:13]  Only reason my sheets get washed now is because my wife can't live in disgusting sheets like I can.
[00:40:18]  Well, now the sheets don't have to be disgusting anymore because the sheets are cleaning them damn cells.
[00:40:22]  My point is this: upgrade your sleep with Miracle Brand.
[00:40:25]  Go to trymiracle.com/slash flagrant.
[00:40:28]  And also, Miracle is so confident in their product, it's back with a 30-day money-back guarantee.
[00:40:35]  So, if you aren't 100% satisfied, you're going to get a full refund.
[00:40:39]  Upgrade your sleep with Miracle Brand.
[00:40:41]  Go to trymiracle.com/slash flagrant and use the code flagrant to claim your free three-piece towel set and save over 40% off.
[00:40:50]  Again, that's trymiracle.com/slash flagrant to treat yourself and or a friend or a loved one this holiday season.
[00:40:57]  Thank you, Miracle Brand, for sponsoring this episode.
[00:41:00]  Now, let's get back to the show.
[00:41:01]  All right, guys, we're gonna take a break for a second because listen, holidays are coming, and you got a friend that needs a freeze pipe.
[00:41:10]  Let's just be honest: you got a friend, okay, that's taking them crazy bong rips, smoke all hot, coughing, neighbors upset, parents finding out.
[00:41:21]  It's absolutely repulsive.
[00:41:23]  They're not getting that cool, clean bong rip that the freeze pipe provides.
[00:41:27]  Look at that right there, glycerin chambers, throw them in the fridge real quick.
[00:41:32]  Smoke comes out cooler than a polar bear's toenail.
[00:41:36]  Okay, my point is the freeze pipe has got your back, and you can gift it to someone.
[00:41:43]  Gift it to one of your friends, get your friends back.
[00:41:46]  Why don't you do that?
[00:41:46]  Why don't you do something amazing for one of your friends?
[00:41:50]  And not only are you going to do something amazing for one of your friends, we're going to do something amazing for both of y'all.
[00:41:54]  We're going to give you 15% off when you use the code flagrant.
[00:41:57]  Think about that right there.
[00:41:59]  You're also going to enjoy free shipping when you use the code flagrant when you go to thefreezepipe.com.

=== Freeze Pipes and Audience Attention (11:49) ===

[00:42:06]  Think about that.
[00:42:07]  Thefreezepipe.com.
[00:42:09]  Use the code flagrant, 15% off your entire order, and free shipping.
[00:42:13]  That's thefreezepipe.com.
[00:42:15]  Code Flagrant, 15% off the perfect gift for you or your favorite stone or shop today and smoke like royalty without paying a king's ransom.
[00:42:24]  Now, let's get back to the show.
[00:42:25]  I'm so curious, do you feel like any of the drugs that you've done has it changed your perspective on God?
[00:42:30]  Yeah, I mean, I mean, who's done mushroom heavy mushrooms?
[00:42:33]  One, not heavy.
[00:42:34]  No, not done.
[00:42:36]  I've had a really horrible trip, so maybe that's heavy.
[00:42:40]  I'm interested in macro dosing, though.
[00:42:42]  Macro dosing.
[00:42:43]  Yeah, that's what Huberman called it.
[00:42:44]  Huber.
[00:42:44]  Shout out to Huberman, dude.
[00:42:46]  Yeah, just where you're like talking.
[00:42:47]  It's like, oh, you're just gone for a little bit.
[00:42:49]  Oh, those are fun.
[00:42:50]  But anyway, you get this idea.
[00:42:52]  Same thing with the horseshoe.
[00:42:55]  What is it called?
[00:42:55]  Horseshoe bend.
[00:42:56]  Horseshoe bend.
[00:42:57]  Yeah.
[00:42:57]  Where you're like, you're just a tiny speck.
[00:42:59]  It just kind of like goes out to like what the world is and what time is back to this little speck, what you are.
[00:43:04]  And even that doesn't do it justice.
[00:43:06]  Yeah.
[00:43:06]  About how infinite it is.
[00:43:07]  And you're like, oh, this is all meaningless.
[00:43:09]  And then some people go to like that same thing as God.
[00:43:12]  And then I don't.
[00:43:13]  I just go like, I don't know, just give yourself a little bit of a bad thing.
[00:43:14]  ET, I've heard is the one, right?
[00:43:16]  Where you see God, right?
[00:43:19]  Yeah.
[00:43:19]  How do we balance?
[00:43:20]  Yeah, that's the trickiest thing.
[00:43:21]  It's like, how do you balance the nothingness, the comfort in the nothingness, and like the arrogance you need to create?
[00:43:31]  Oh, right.
[00:43:32]  There's a certain amount of arrogance you need to create things.
[00:43:34]  Like, I should say this.
[00:43:36]  I should do this.
[00:43:36]  And I should put this out in the world.
[00:43:38]  I made a great thing and I should share it.
[00:43:41]  And it is for you, even though it's for other people.
[00:43:44]  You know, even when we were talking about your special, it's like you were really proud of this thing.
[00:43:47]  Like, this is something you worked on for fucking, you would say it a lot.
[00:43:50]  You'd be like, I put five years into this.
[00:43:51]  And then like, never put that much time into anything.
[00:43:53]  Dude, it was really cool.
[00:43:54]  Like, I'll be honest, of all the comics that I've spoken to about like, you know, you know, how to release a special and that kind of stuff, you were fucking locked in.
[00:44:02]  And you said something funny.
[00:44:03]  You're like, it was also sober October.
[00:44:05]  You're like, I'd never be able to do this if I was fucking every single day.
[00:44:09]  But you were fucking sober and sharp and exercising, burning 500 calories.
[00:44:14]  You helped me so much, dude.
[00:44:15]  I was like, I was right from the start.
[00:44:16]  I was like, hey, is there anything I should know?
[00:44:18]  You're always really fucking good about it.
[00:44:19]  Even when I had my first stand-up clip, I was like, I think I'll put a clip up.
[00:44:23]  And you're like, well, make sure to put all the things, big shot of your face, big writing.
[00:44:26]  I was like, okay.
[00:44:27]  He goes, you're like, send it to me.
[00:44:28]  I'll just do it and send it back to you.
[00:44:30]  I was like, okay.
[00:44:31]  By me doing it, one of these guys did it.
[00:44:33]  I just wanted to let you know.
[00:44:33]  Oh, right, right, right.
[00:44:34]  Yeah, yeah.
[00:44:35]  By me.
[00:44:35]  It's like saying, I put a deck on my house.
[00:44:41]  You just want to see it.
[00:44:42]  Any advice that I gave you on this special was from this community right here.
[00:44:46]  But yeah, then the special came and I was like, anything I should know?
[00:44:49]  You're like, well, yeah, what's your trailer look like?
[00:44:52]  I'm like, oh, do I need a trailer?
[00:44:54]  You throw it back, bro.
[00:44:55]  Yeah.
[00:44:56]  I was like, what?
[00:44:57]  I don't know.
[00:44:58]  I don't know how I need this.
[00:44:59]  I don't know.
[00:44:59]  What am I supposed to do?
[00:45:00]  Yeah.
[00:45:01]  You absorbed the fuck out of it and you went after it and you had your own ideas.
[00:45:05]  And certain ones like really worked and they enhanced it.
[00:45:07]  And other ones, I was like, it was a little bit too much.
[00:45:09]  Let's kind of bring it back.
[00:45:10]  But like, you were just really hungry for this thing to be seen.
[00:45:12]  And I thought that was really cool because a lot of people, especially comics, I think that, you know, we feel insecure, like promoting our own shit, which is the dumbest thing in the world.
[00:45:20]  Because if you really believe in something that you've made, like, you should want people to see it.
[00:45:24]  If you don't think it's worth seeing, then they're not going to see it at all.
[00:45:26]  It's hard.
[00:45:26]  You're going to be like, I don't know here.
[00:45:28]  I don't like the all shucks promotion.
[00:45:29]  Yeah.
[00:45:30]  I don't like it.
[00:45:31]  Because if you believe in something, get behind it.
[00:45:33]  I think Tyler, the creator, said it the best.
[00:45:35]  There was a clip that I reposted, but he was like, yo, you put your fucking blood, sweat, and tears into like, this is what you do.
[00:45:40]  If you think it's dope, let people know it's fucking dope.
[00:45:42]  Yeah, I had a comic, Carla Bove, just friends with Kinnison.
[00:45:46]  He was just like a helpful comic when I started.
[00:45:48]  And he was selling merch after a show.
[00:45:49]  I'm like, don't you feel like a cornball doing that?
[00:45:52]  And he goes, no, if it's a keychain, maybe, but these are my CDs.
[00:45:55]  This is my.
[00:45:56]  This is the thing I care about.
[00:45:57]  I want more people to see this.
[00:45:58]  Yeah.
[00:45:59]  That makes sense.
[00:46:00]  See, but yeah, with this special, it was like, I want people to see it.
[00:46:04]  This one a special.
[00:46:05]  And it's especially good when like, when the product is good, I find it's way easier to promote it.
[00:46:10]  Like when you believe in the thing.
[00:46:12]  I suppose like if you're in some shitbox movie and then they're like, hey, go and promote it.
[00:46:16]  And you're like, so it's fun to work with me lacunas.
[00:46:21]  Yeah.
[00:46:22]  And you just know it's like, ugh.
[00:46:24]  Yeah.
[00:46:25]  Yeah, this one was great.
[00:46:26]  I love how the comics have all gotten behind it.
[00:46:27]  Yeah.
[00:46:28]  It's been really helpful.
[00:46:29]  Yeah.
[00:46:30]  And just people seeing it.
[00:46:31]  Like, I've had a lot of people individually reach out to me and just be like, hey, I saw this thing and it was cool.
[00:46:35]  It was like focused on this one thing, but it's still jokes, like non-comics.
[00:46:38]  I'm talking about like friends of mine.
[00:46:40]  And their reactions were great to it.
[00:46:43]  And I was like, oh, wow, the special has breached the activity.
[00:46:47]  I was created.
[00:46:48]  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
[00:46:49]  I always, I always look at that.
[00:46:50]  I was like, if my non-comic friends, who all think they're comedy fans, they're fans of comedy, but they're not like locked and locked in.
[00:46:58]  When they start sending the DMs and they start asking me if I know of a person or whatever, I'm like, oh, wow, you gotta be.
[00:47:03]  It's gotten out.
[00:47:04]  It's gotten out.
[00:47:05]  Yeah.
[00:47:05]  Because there's the Rogan sphere, which we all exist in.
[00:47:07]  And there are people who are not familiar with us through that.
[00:47:10]  When they're watching.
[00:47:12]  I don't have four and a half million people who know who I am.
[00:47:14]  Exactly.
[00:47:15]  Isn't that crazy?
[00:47:16]  Yeah.
[00:47:17]  Yeah.
[00:47:17]  I probably got 130,000.
[00:47:19]  So the rest.
[00:47:21]  4.4 is on my hand.
[00:47:23]  We could go on and on about it, but that's the perfect example, like why you do something like this, especially if you really care about it.
[00:47:28]  Yeah, the best comment is I've never heard you before.
[00:47:30]  This is great.
[00:47:31]  It worked for you.
[00:47:32]  Yeah.
[00:47:33]  No, it was far.
[00:47:34]  I'm curious.
[00:47:35]  What was the Jewish reception versus the non-Jewish?
[00:47:38]  Oh, yeah.
[00:47:38]  Did Jews get upset at it?
[00:47:39]  Afraid they might, but I really tried to cross my T's down my eyes and make sure, like, like I was telling before that point, like, anytime, you know, how like you do a joke about black people, you better know.
[00:47:48]  And, like, if there's like two black people in the audience, I'll do it this way, so it's not about you.
[00:47:52]  Like, you just kind of keep your eye on them to make sure it's not like because it's racist, race, racial, racial, yeah.
[00:47:59]  And so, you're like, I just want to make sure it's on the right side of this.
[00:48:01]  So, you keep your eye on them.
[00:48:02]  So, those two audience members are the most important audience members of that.
[00:48:05]  They're going to define how everybody feels about that.
[00:48:07]  Same thing with any joke, you know, women or Latinos or I don't know, an autistic joke, whatever.
[00:48:11]  You don't want them to attack you.
[00:48:12]  Yeah, so if I'm doing a joke about women in the wigs and I see them in the audience and I'm doing the joke, I'm keeping my eye on them the whole time.
[00:48:20]  And they're always loving it.
[00:48:21]  They're like, someone's speaking about our experience in a comedy sphere.
[00:48:25]  It's no way.
[00:48:26]  And you know your shit.
[00:48:27]  You got to know your shit.
[00:48:28]  Yeah.
[00:48:28]  That's the thing I always wish there was a couple black people outside when you're filming that Kobe video.
[00:48:33]  The what?
[00:48:35]  Yeah, there were black people.
[00:48:36]  Keep an eye on them.
[00:48:37]  Hold this.
[00:48:38]  Keep an eye on them.
[00:48:45]  Yeah, but I thought they'd get mad at her, but they really didn't.
[00:48:48]  They didn't.
[00:48:48]  Well, it's hard to do.
[00:48:49]  It's all respectful and like in love.
[00:48:50]  It's just your shit, dude.
[00:48:51]  Yeah.
[00:48:52]  I have had some people go while I was doing it.
[00:48:54]  Some people are like, that's not true.
[00:48:55]  That didn't happen.
[00:48:56]  I'm like, what?
[00:48:56]  What parts?
[00:48:57]  Kabbalah parts or like the dropping a piece of ham and soup.
[00:49:01]  They're like, that's not wrong.
[00:49:02]  I'm like, you just don't know enough.
[00:49:03]  You're wrong.
[00:49:04]  Oh, really?
[00:49:05]  I was higher up than you were.
[00:49:08]  But did it make you go back and check?
[00:49:10]  Oh, a lot.
[00:49:11]  I had a great closer about Noah, Noah, and the flood, and how his wife had, his wife had 40 kids.
[00:49:19]  And I was like, the real hero of the story is, well, he had 40 kids.
[00:49:22]  The real hero of the story is his wife.
[00:49:23]  Because like, her pussy must have been so fucking blown out.
[00:49:26]  Couldn't you even carry a baby to term after 30 kids?
[00:49:29]  Then I had this whole act of kids coming out of the ability courts, human food, and then going back in.
[00:49:35]  And it was just, it was just crusher.
[00:49:38]  And then some rabbi in Copenhagen was like, hey, man, love your set, brother, to my students.
[00:49:42]  That was so funny.
[00:49:43]  You know, Noah did not have 40 kids, though, right?
[00:49:45]  And I was like, no, you're wrong.
[00:49:46]  He goes, listen, I don't care.
[00:49:47]  Say whatever you want.
[00:49:48]  That's fine.
[00:49:48]  It was hilarious.
[00:49:49]  I'm like, wait, are you serious?
[00:49:51]  He goes, yeah, I forget.
[00:49:52]  It was three or four.
[00:49:54]  And I'm like, no.
[00:49:56]  And I looked it up and I'm like, I got to drop it.
[00:50:00]  I don't know.
[00:50:00]  It's his childhood memory.
[00:50:02]  So I had to figure out which of these is just like vague memories from childhood that you thought, you know, when you think of something, but you're like, the context was off.
[00:50:09]  Yeah.
[00:50:10]  Yeah, I definitely thought the sheet with the whole thing.
[00:50:12]  I thought that's true.
[00:50:13]  Dude, I learned that on this.
[00:50:14]  I thought that's true.
[00:50:16]  My last religious friend from Yeshiva came and he was like, great, we don't.
[00:50:19]  Fuck, that's never happened.
[00:50:20]  I'm like, that's not true.
[00:50:20]  Rabbi so-and-so did it.
[00:50:22]  And he goes, that's not true, Ari.
[00:50:23]  It's made up.
[00:50:24]  And I'm like, no way.
[00:50:25]  Where does it come from?
[00:50:26]  It comes from a stereotype about Tsitzi about these, like, this like poncho.
[00:50:31]  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
[00:50:32]  I think there was a lot of stuff.
[00:50:33]  Yeah, and it came from like the hole in the middle of like a poncho.
[00:50:36]  They're hanging out the dry, and they were like, that must be what it's for.
[00:50:39]  Neighbors' song because you put it over so the neighbors are seeing it.
[00:50:44]  Yeah.
[00:50:45]  Oh, yeah.
[00:50:46]  And it must have been from that.
[00:50:47]  Plus, we hate you.
[00:50:47]  So like, what's there to do?
[00:50:51]  That's a big ass hole for a dick, though.
[00:50:53]  You know what I mean?
[00:50:54]  It is a big hole.
[00:50:55]  Yeah.
[00:50:56]  That part I'm fine with.
[00:50:58]  But they're cutting off parts of it.
[00:50:59]  So the neighbors are probably like, they must have some spare.
[00:51:05]  I was so sure was true.
[00:51:07]  Well, I saw it in Unorthodox, which like apparently, have you seen the show?
[00:51:10]  I saw an episode or two.
[00:51:11]  Yeah, and I thought that that was like perfect representation.
[00:51:14]  And I'm pretty sure they do it in the show.
[00:51:16]  Yeah, made up.
[00:51:17]  Fuck.
[00:51:17]  That's crazy.
[00:51:18]  Did they?
[00:51:19]  In the show?
[00:51:19]  I thought they did.
[00:51:20]  I think they were trying to have sex just with like, I don't think there was an actual hole.
[00:51:24]  Oh, was it?
[00:51:25]  Yeah.
[00:51:25]  But they were just both wearing how convinced I was of that is that I made it up in the show that it wasn't even it.
[00:51:31]  Yeah.
[00:51:31]  And the rib thing, too.
[00:51:33]  Ooh, you for fucking taking it out, man.
[00:51:35]  Yeah.
[00:51:36]  Because it's so easy when you get tired.
[00:51:37]  Like, because that's the other thing.
[00:51:38]  Like, it's fucking truth tellers here.
[00:51:40]  We're comedians.
[00:51:41]  And when you get the joke, it makes people laugh.
[00:51:43]  It's good enough.
[00:51:44]  But when you're putting it out and calling it Jew, now you have a different expectation.
[00:51:48]  Because I didn't want anybody.
[00:51:49]  I was like, where are they going to get it?
[00:51:50]  And they're going to credit you for all the other shit.
[00:51:53]  If one thing's wrong, everything's wrong.
[00:51:54]  Yeah.
[00:51:55]  And it also makes a Jewish person, I imagine, who's still in the religion feel like, yeah, this guy really does.
[00:52:00]  Like, if you had a non-truth in there, they'd be like, yo, fuck this guy.
[00:52:02]  He's just trying to get laughs.
[00:52:04]  But if everything checks out.
[00:52:05]  And also, when you speak about religion, I don't, there's no malice.
[00:52:08]  There's no animosity.
[00:52:09]  You're not like some atheists where it's like condescending and patronizing.
[00:52:13]  So I think they don't sense any.
[00:52:14]  So it's like, oh, we're just having fun.
[00:52:16]  I used to be that.
[00:52:16]  Yeah.
[00:52:17]  Oh, really?
[00:52:17]  I went through a period of like fucking idiots.
[00:52:20]  Well, yeah, that's what happened.
[00:52:21]  Fuck when you feel like you were robbed of your have a good time.
[00:52:25]  I get it.
[00:52:26]  Did something pull you back or was it just grossing?
[00:52:28]  Mushrooms.
[00:52:28]  Doing mushrooms.
[00:52:30]  All the time.
[00:52:32]  Everyone's got their own past.
[00:52:34]  Exactly.
[00:52:34]  Like, what are we even doing?
[00:52:35]  Okay, so here's one thing.
[00:52:37]  This is my struggle even now.
[00:52:39]  It's like with success, less and less things bother me, or I want to complain about less things, or I realize that they're not that important.
[00:52:47]  So what do you talk about?
[00:52:48]  Exactly.
[00:52:49]  Yeah, you need to get worked up over nothing.
[00:52:50]  But I think that's to be able to like sports or politics or something like that.
[00:52:54]  But that's the value of fucking sports for society.
[00:52:56]  It's like you almost need people to be concerned about a thing.
[00:52:59]  It's give them bread, give them circus.
[00:53:01]  It's like, give them sports.
[00:53:02]  Yeah.
[00:53:03]  Pop culture helps a lot.
[00:53:04]  Yeah.
[00:53:05]  But I just don't give a fuck.
[00:53:06]  But right, if you don't care, then it's like, then what do you talk about?
[00:53:09]  That's why the first thing I saw you today, I was like, so how's the new stuff coming?
[00:53:12]  Yeah.
[00:53:12]  And that's me going, is there another thing?
[00:53:14]  You can't be Jewish again.
[00:53:15]  Stanhope said it at some point where he goes, I've talked about everything that really matters to me.
[00:53:19]  Bro, I've worked it all out.
[00:53:21]  So what do I got to recover my feelings on abortion?
[00:53:24]  I don't want to do that.
[00:53:25]  I really think that's the greatness of Burr is how many specials he's put out and how consistent he's been.
[00:53:31]  And even my life at the Red Rock is still full.
[00:53:33]  The mental illness of being bothered by everything.
[00:53:35]  Yeah.
[00:53:35]  Yeah.
[00:53:35]  You stay mad.
[00:53:36]  If you're mad all the time, it helps.
[00:53:37]  You said this about Larry David, and Larry David's not even a stand-up, but you're to be that rich.
[00:53:44]  You're bugged by things.
[00:53:45]  And yeah, I'm bugged by the stuff.
[00:53:46]  You're a son of a dentist now.
[00:53:48]  You're worth a billion dollars and you're still bugged by stuff.
[00:53:51]  Which is like an annoying way to live.
[00:53:53]  You want to be Buster Douglas, but like he didn't really win again.

=== Drugs, Addiction, and Buster Douglas (14:50) ===

[00:53:56]  Yeah.
[00:53:56]  It's like he just got it.
[00:53:57]  That's interesting.
[00:53:58]  So that didn't affect you at all.
[00:54:00]  You said you have new now that you're ready.
[00:54:02]  I have new stuff now.
[00:54:02]  Yeah, it's just not.
[00:54:03]  It's just not.
[00:54:04]  I had all this leftovers.
[00:54:05]  So every time I, you know, see a homeless guy shitting on a stoop, it's like, well, that can't go in this hour, but I got it.
[00:54:10]  Are you worried it's not going to mean as much to you?
[00:54:13]  Who kicked him out of his home, do you think?
[00:54:16]  Kicked him out of his home and displaced him?
[00:54:18]  No, landlord.
[00:54:18]  Not paying your bills kicks you out of your home.
[00:54:20]  I refuse to accept.
[00:54:24]  We need to blame on it.
[00:54:29]  We need a blame because you're a deadbeat.
[00:54:31]  It's a personal choice.
[00:54:32]  Yeah, get a second job.
[00:54:33]  There's sucker jobs available.
[00:54:34]  Yeah, everyone's hiring now.
[00:54:39]  This is where you won the Jews back.
[00:54:41]  When you said Connie wasn't that bad, they were like, I don't know about this.
[00:54:43]  He looked up as almost to say, see, guys, all the time.
[00:54:49]  But yeah, what do we fucking.
[00:54:50]  What is that for?
[00:54:51]  Yeah.
[00:54:52]  Washing my drink around.
[00:54:56]  I'm going to put this back in my pocket.
[00:54:59]  I'm going to water bottle back there.
[00:55:03]  That is a good point.
[00:55:05]  I asked him, Can we get you anything?
[00:55:06]  He's like, No, I brought my own.
[00:55:09]  Are you thinking there's Kim Congdon got me?
[00:55:11]  She dosed me an acid two years ago at Sea Egg Fest.
[00:55:14]  Get out of here.
[00:55:15]  Yeah, she got me good.
[00:55:16]  When did you realize it?
[00:55:17]  She told me.
[00:55:18]  She was like, We were doing a roast, roast of Lewis.
[00:55:21]  Who throws himself a roast?
[00:55:26]  Love you, Lewis.
[00:55:28]  Love you, Lewis.
[00:55:29]  Alex Media did it.
[00:55:31]  That was a great roast, though.
[00:55:33]  It was a fun roast.
[00:55:34]  That was it.
[00:55:34]  It was a fun roast.
[00:55:35]  But yeah.
[00:55:36]  Shane fucking murdered on that.
[00:55:38]  He was great.
[00:55:38]  That's on YouTube.
[00:55:39]  Go check that out.
[00:55:39]  Shane Gillis, Roast, and I got boogies.
[00:55:42]  Yeah.
[00:55:43]  She left him to leave it in there.
[00:55:44]  Yeah, no, it was bad.
[00:55:46]  It was bad.
[00:55:48]  Let's put a pill on that on the way back.
[00:55:51]  Yeah, but then she went up and she was like, hey, Ari, how was that water?
[00:55:55]  I'm like, fine.
[00:55:56]  She's like, it's acid.
[00:55:57]  I'm like, fuck.
[00:55:59]  Yeah.
[00:56:00]  People kept texting me, like, you okay?
[00:56:01]  You doing okay?
[00:56:02]  We had these big bay windows.
[00:56:04]  Like floor-to-ceiling windows in the hotels they put us at.
[00:56:06]  So I just opened the windows way, way up and took all the sheets off the bed and just like like, stared out at Houston people was like, are you okay?
[00:56:13]  I'm like dude.
[00:56:14]  Yeah, I do drugs.
[00:56:15]  This wasn't the plan tonight.
[00:56:17]  But like, calm down yeah, just like i'm on acid.
[00:56:21]  Yeah, she got me good.
[00:56:24]  I'll admit this is like full whiteboard.
[00:56:27]  This is yeah.
[00:56:28]  I was thinking wasn't crazy getting drug, being like, oh yeah, he got me good, he got me good.
[00:56:33]  I was like that's crazy.
[00:56:34]  I've been bamboozled.
[00:56:35]  I mean it wasn't bad acid, you know.
[00:56:38]  So at least it was quality.
[00:56:40]  Yeah, quality acid.
[00:56:41]  It can't be that bad.
[00:56:42]  I mean that's crazy.
[00:56:43]  How frequently are you doing acid then?
[00:56:44]  Not that often.
[00:56:45]  That being dosed with acid is not that often.
[00:56:47]  We were in we're at this festival Valley Vibes, Bonaroo got rained out.
[00:56:50]  We're loading up our rv with uh, with supplies, and they got the call like it's rain's flooded.
[00:56:56]  It's not Covet, it's flooded.
[00:56:58]  I'm like what?
[00:56:59]  So we're like where the fuck can we go?
[00:57:01]  Western Georgia, there's a small.
[00:57:02]  They said three stages, and the stages were, I mean, like this.
[00:57:05]  We didn't realize we thought three massive stages.
[00:57:08]  I call it a meth festival, but it wasn't, it was just fun country and and metal and um and yeah, one guy, we're testing all our drugs.
[00:57:16]  Because you have to test drugs.
[00:57:17]  We've talked about this.
[00:57:18]  Guys, there's fentanyl out there.
[00:57:21]  Gotta test your drugs.
[00:57:22]  Um, so our neighbors were like getting some coke, like how is it?
[00:57:25]  Can I, can I test it?
[00:57:26]  Which I thought it meant like let me test some.
[00:57:28]  No no, you put yeah, it's like let me, let me try and see how good it is.
[00:57:31]  It's not wasted.
[00:57:32]  Yeah, it's like oh yeah yeah, it's good, i'll take a pound.
[00:57:35]  I don't know, I don't know what a weird follow-up to you got to test your drugs.
[00:57:39]  Well, I thought, stuff them in your face.
[00:57:42]  Um um, this was that same weekend those four comics died, so i'm in this festival.
[00:57:46]  So they tested like hey, that's 100 pure cocaine.
[00:57:49]  Definitely buy from that guy right.
[00:57:51]  Then we, he's got some acid tested that like that's 100, not acid.
[00:57:55]  Whoa, like what is it?
[00:57:56]  We're like I think mescaline or something.
[00:57:58]  And it had just been dipped and the guy was like he's like I fuck it all over my hands.
[00:58:02]  And he's like fuck, i'm starting to fucking fly.
[00:58:05]  And we're like focusing, it's absorbed with the test and they just dipped it.
[00:58:08]  It was still wet yeah, and we're like you're gonna be okay.
[00:58:11]  He goes, yeah guys, same thing, like I do drugs.
[00:58:14]  This wasn't the plan for tonight, but it is now the plan.
[00:58:17]  I'm at the right place.
[00:58:18]  I'm at a festival in Georgia, greatest festival in the world, Valley Vibes.
[00:58:22]  Um yeah, it was just a good time.
[00:58:24]  And then we're like oh, we got to start testing.
[00:58:26]  We got and we got out and we're like four comics did.
[00:58:28]  We're like oh, we really got to start testing our shit.
[00:58:31]  Yeah yeah yeah, is there any drug you won't with?
[00:58:34]  No, I want to do heroin so bad.
[00:58:36]  Why haven't you done heroin seems too risky.
[00:58:39]  You really have addiction.
[00:58:40]  No, why would he lie about heroin?
[00:58:43]  Looks, it looks like a little heroin, but wait, Ordered it.
[00:58:49]  No.
[00:58:49]  Or never as like part of another drug?
[00:58:53]  Meth?
[00:58:53]  You've done meth?
[00:58:54]  Yeah, we've all done meth.
[00:58:56]  Yeah, speedy shit.
[00:58:57]  Yeah.
[00:58:58]  All right.
[00:58:58]  I've never straightened.
[00:58:59]  Never straight meth.
[00:59:01]  You've done Adderall.
[00:59:02]  Yeah, Adderall is fucking meth.
[00:59:03]  There's no crystal meth and Adderall, I assume.
[00:59:05]  Crystal meth sounds darker, though.
[00:59:07]  Yeah, I mean, it sounds like cooler.
[00:59:10]  Oh, that's crazy.
[00:59:11]  Heroin is the coolest drug.
[00:59:13]  Why?
[00:59:13]  I don't know.
[00:59:14]  It's just so cool.
[00:59:15]  Because it's bad.
[00:59:16]  Yeah, it's just like, it's like, you know, writers and fucking musicians of the 70s.
[00:59:21]  It's like heroin, dude.
[00:59:22]  Iggy pop.
[00:59:23]  Seems like it's the coolest drug for sure.
[00:59:27]  No, what's the coolest drug?
[00:59:28]  Oh, I mean, I'm sure it's cool for you.
[00:59:30]  No, I've never done it.
[00:59:31]  It's just of like, if you're like seeing.
[00:59:33]  It's got to be that good and throw it all away.
[00:59:35]  Yeah.
[00:59:35]  It's got to be so good.
[00:59:36]  Or, but what are you dealing with where you are willing to throw it all away?
[00:59:39]  That's the other thing.
[00:59:40]  Yeah, you got nothing to do with it.
[00:59:41]  I think if you took a chance, like, no, no, I'll just try it once.
[00:59:43]  And you're like, this road only goes one place.
[00:59:45]  Yeah, but you got to be so sad to always go there.
[00:59:48]  Nobody happy throws it all away for heroin because you're already feeling good.
[00:59:51]  But also, like, you're at a party.
[00:59:53]  Like, I told this to my buddy.
[00:59:55]  Banging it or snorting it?
[00:59:56]  Nobody's shooting at a party.
[00:59:58]  Oh, nobody shoots at a party.
[00:59:59]  But everybody who said does heroin, they're always like, how'd you do it?
[01:00:02]  Did you shoot it or snort it or smoke it?
[01:00:03]  They're like, oh, I snorted it.
[01:00:05]  They always have this line in the sand.
[01:00:06]  I'm like, you're all fucking heroin at it.
[01:00:08]  You fucking disgusting pigs.
[01:00:11]  Oh, I would never do that.
[01:00:12]  You're fucking doing heroin every day where you're better than somebody.
[01:00:15]  Fuck off.
[01:00:16]  Yeah.
[01:00:17]  Yeah.
[01:00:17]  Heroin, heroin, it would be offered to you.
[01:00:20]  If you're in a circle and everyone's doing it, it's like this period.
[01:00:22]  I told my buddy, our friend, she has a daughter, and he was like, You think she's done Coke?
[01:00:27]  She's like, 20 now.
[01:00:28]  He goes, no way.
[01:00:29]  Well, let me set up a situation for you.
[01:00:30]  Let's call her Sarah.
[01:00:31]  It's not her name.
[01:00:32]  But I was like, hey, Sarah, you want some Coke?
[01:00:34]  Like, oh, no, I'm okay.
[01:00:35]  Okay, Akash Coke.
[01:00:36]  Yeah, sure.
[01:00:37]  Alex Coke?
[01:00:37]  Yeah, okay.
[01:00:38]  Sure.
[01:00:38]  Ari Coke?
[01:00:39]  Yeah, sure.
[01:00:39]  Sarah, you want some Coke?
[01:00:41]  Sure.
[01:00:41]  I'm like, all right.
[01:00:42]  I'll do so.
[01:00:43]  And he goes, fuck.
[01:00:44]  Yeah, she for sure done Coke.
[01:00:46]  Yeah.
[01:00:47]  Yeah, but the heroin one is tricky.
[01:00:50]  It became popular in like the hipster scene.
[01:00:52]  Heroin did?
[01:00:52]  Yeah.
[01:00:53]  When this is like in the last maybe five years.
[01:00:56]  Andrew's got a tie into the hipsters that people don't quite understand.
[01:00:59]  Which is.
[01:01:00]  You just, you're in there, that world.
[01:01:02]  You like, you like go there as your like B level.
[01:01:04]  Periphery.
[01:01:04]  Yeah.
[01:01:05]  I'm in the periphery.
[01:01:06]  Yeah.
[01:01:06]  But like I've seen him partying and it's a lot of like city kids.
[01:01:09]  And it's like, what is the naughty thing?
[01:01:11]  What is it?
[01:01:12]  If you're, if you're like a hipster, not like a hipster, like I moved here from Maine so I could like be myself.
[01:01:17]  Yeah.
[01:01:17]  Like I'm talking about like someone who genuinely is trying to be like counterculture.
[01:01:21]  Maybe we call it counterculture.
[01:01:22]  Time square.
[01:01:23]  Yeah.
[01:01:23]  Those people.
[01:01:25]  Yeah.
[01:01:26]  If you really want, like you're going to do the thing that is the most uncool drug.
[01:01:31]  And heroin is probably the most uncool drug.
[01:01:32]  All the great writers were on it.
[01:01:34]  Yeah, but they're probably on other shit too.
[01:01:36]  We just don't give it the credit.
[01:01:37]  Like they're probably drinking whiskey.
[01:01:38]  We're not like, oh, whiskey is what makes you a genius.
[01:01:40]  You remember when that guy was eating that guy's face and like it's it's it's marijuana.
[01:01:44]  Like shut up, dude.
[01:01:45]  I'm sure he had weed in his system.
[01:01:46]  Oh, in Florida?
[01:01:47]  Yeah.
[01:01:49]  It was Florida in his system.
[01:01:51]  He just had me asked also.
[01:01:53]  What was that?
[01:01:53]  I don't know.
[01:01:54]  What makes you face eat?
[01:01:56]  Yeah, he has some other shit to even eat face.
[01:01:59]  Yeah.
[01:01:59]  Yeah.
[01:02:00]  Hunger minimum.
[01:02:01]  Bare minimum.
[01:02:03]  Bare minimum.
[01:02:05]  He probably asked the guy for money.
[01:02:06]  He's like, dude, I'm hungry.
[01:02:07]  He's like, I don't have any fucking money.
[01:02:09]  Well, you know, that cartoon where you turn into a big chicken wing.
[01:02:18]  That's a little while.
[01:02:19]  But you like, you've done like DMT, ayahuasca, all that stuff.
[01:02:21]  Yes, he once didn't quite get there.
[01:02:22]  Oh, really?
[01:02:23]  Yeah, I saw fucking, I was in my old backyard on 12th Street.
[01:02:27]  Had this nice, cool backyard.
[01:02:29]  I loved it.
[01:02:29]  Anyway, I went out there with a chick who had done it a bunch, smoked it off the top of a bowl of weed, and then like just kind of like laid back.
[01:02:36]  And I saw on this tree, I saw this big caterpillar.
[01:02:38]  Like, it was like five, six hexagons like that, you know?
[01:02:42]  It's a big caterpillar that comes off the tree and just looks at me for a minute.
[01:02:46]  I'm just staring back at him.
[01:02:47]  He's just looking at me.
[01:02:48]  It was like that long.
[01:02:50]  And he just goes, nah.
[01:02:54]  And then just like went back.
[01:02:56]  That's crazy, dude.
[01:02:57]  Yeah.
[01:02:57]  And I'm like, what?
[01:02:58]  And anyway, that was like.
[01:03:00]  That's how much of an atheist you are.
[01:03:01]  The scene drug god was like, nah.
[01:03:03]  The scene God drugged God.
[01:03:05]  It's not that you don't believe in God.
[01:03:06]  God doesn't believe in you.
[01:03:08]  God came down and he was like, I believe in Studio 54.
[01:03:15]  And then I looked over the girl.
[01:03:16]  I came out of it, looked at it.
[01:03:17]  I was like, did you get there?
[01:03:18]  She goes, I died and came back.
[01:03:20]  I'm like, fuck.
[01:03:21]  I didn't get it.
[01:03:22]  Very different.
[01:03:23]  Oh, that's crazy.
[01:03:24]  DMT sounds lit.
[01:03:26]  That's too much.
[01:03:26]  That sounds funny.
[01:03:27]  Ayahuasca got me there.
[01:03:28]  Oh, really?
[01:03:29]  Yeah.
[01:03:29]  Where'd you do that?
[01:03:30]  In Ecuador?
[01:03:31]  Ecuador, yeah.
[01:03:31]  Oh, you went for the real ceremony.
[01:03:33]  In Amazon, yeah.
[01:03:34]  Yeah.
[01:03:35]  Neil Brennan was like, how many ounces did they give you?
[01:03:37]  I'm like, ounces.
[01:03:38]  I don't know, man.
[01:03:38]  It was a bowl full of fucking shit that made you tip your head back.
[01:03:41]  Yeah, a half a coconut.
[01:03:42]  Yeah.
[01:03:43]  Wait, what's okay?
[01:03:44]  So when you went into, is it, is it, okay, is it, you're still a comedian.
[01:03:49]  Right.
[01:03:49]  So you're still analyzing this thing.
[01:03:51]  Like, is this cliche?
[01:03:52]  Could you get lost in it?
[01:03:53]  Yeah, I got lost in it.
[01:03:54]  It takes you there.
[01:03:55]  Okay.
[01:03:55]  Duncan said it, said Duncan's tie to all that psychedelics.
[01:03:58]  Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[01:04:00]  And he said that one of those guys, Tim Thaler, one of those, like anytime you're fighting, like trying to hold on where you're on mushrooms and like trying to hold on, he goes, you just haven't done enough.
[01:04:07]  He goes, if you do enough of that shit, you're gone.
[01:04:09]  And it's just like it's out of your mind.
[01:04:10]  Yeah, or like, was it Marnie?
[01:04:12]  Not Marnie.
[01:04:12]  What was that Nicholas Cage movie?
[01:04:15]  Leaving Las Vegas?
[01:04:16]  Yeah, your favorite actor.
[01:04:17]  No, no.
[01:04:18]  I love Nicholas Cage.
[01:04:18]  What?
[01:04:19]  Mandy.
[01:04:19]  Mandy.
[01:04:20]  Mandy, yeah.
[01:04:21]  And he tries the most powerful asset.
[01:04:22]  He just goes, like, they do it well.
[01:04:23]  He tips his finger and he goes, boom.
[01:04:26]  He's just like in another world.
[01:04:28]  Yeah.
[01:04:29]  Yeah.
[01:04:29]  If you take enough, you're gone.
[01:04:30]  So this was that.
[01:04:31]  It's like, you're not fighting it.
[01:04:32]  But initially, you're like looking at them in the outfits and you're like, what the fuck am I doing here?
[01:04:36]  It is cool.
[01:04:36]  They're wearing a fucking giant.
[01:04:39]  You know, he's weird with outfits.
[01:04:40]  I'm taking notes.
[01:04:41]  You know where he's in.
[01:04:42]  Like for comic in a way he grew up.
[01:04:44]  He's good at bust walls a little, but he's upset at all that.
[01:04:47]  And he's looking at the way.
[01:04:48]  He's taking notes for later.
[01:04:49]  I'm taking notes for later.
[01:04:50]  Where I'm like, okay, well, did you buy that monkey?
[01:04:54]  Exactly.
[01:04:55]  Drive it down, get it all analyzed at later.
[01:04:57]  Just to convince Whitey shit.
[01:04:58]  That's when I'm going into those environments.
[01:05:00]  I'm like, oh, they really got these people duped.
[01:05:02]  Like, put the feathers.
[01:05:04]  Yeah.
[01:05:04]  I didn't see a single bird in the fucking forest.
[01:05:06]  Like, where do you get these feathers from?
[01:05:08]  Like, I would go in with that perspective.
[01:05:10]  I'd hopefully get to the point where I completely submit myself.
[01:05:13]  But initially, I'm going to be.
[01:05:15]  You're like, what is this?
[01:05:16]  Yeah.
[01:05:17]  It's natural.
[01:05:18]  It's in the Amazon.
[01:05:19]  Everyone just does it.
[01:05:20]  It's not a big deal.
[01:05:21]  Yeah, we talked to one guy.
[01:05:22]  We were like on a tour of the Amazon.
[01:05:24]  We're like, there was a serving of someone like, hey, I think we shouldn't eat pig anymore because we're like a week out from a thing.
[01:05:30]  Is what thing?
[01:05:31]  Like, ayahuasca.
[01:05:32]  He's like, oh, yeah, sure.
[01:05:33]  You're okay.
[01:05:33]  Seven days, you're good.
[01:05:35]  And I'm like, have you ever done it?
[01:05:36]  He goes, sure, yeah, we all have.
[01:05:37]  Dude, I was when I was at this hotel, it's on Navajo land, right?
[01:05:41]  So like a lot of the tour guys and stuff are in Navajo.
[01:05:43]  And shit, build your fucking nice hotels on their land.
[01:05:47]  Literally, I went on Thanksgiving.
[01:05:49]  It was one of the most I didn't even realize it.
[01:05:50]  I didn't even realize it.
[01:05:52]  I'm there on Thanksgiving.
[01:05:53]  I got the saddest happy Thanksgiving on the ride to the airport that morning.
[01:05:57]  She's picking us up at six in the morning.
[01:05:59]  Happy Thanksgiving.
[01:06:00]  Like literally, shoulder slunked in the front.
[01:06:02]  My wife stole a dream catcher from the fucking hotel.
[01:06:04]  Like we can't take enough.
[01:06:06]  She's took us home.
[01:06:07]  I'm like, babe, you can take whatever you want.
[01:06:11]  Follow your dreams.
[01:06:13]  They do not fight back.
[01:06:14]  Just take it.
[01:06:17]  So I'm talking to one of our guides, this guy, Dylan, who is great.
[01:06:22]  And I asked him, I was like, yeah, what are like the stereotypes like amongst yourselves?
[01:06:26]  Like break down the different tribes and shit like that.
[01:06:28]  And he like takes a beat.
[01:06:29]  He goes, I got you.
[01:06:30]  He goes, the Utes, they're the idiots.
[01:06:34]  And they just start.
[01:06:35]  And it was like, they're no different than growing up in New York in the same way we think about the Staten Island Jersey long out.
[01:06:41]  It's the exact same shit on the Reds.
[01:06:43]  And it was so cool to see.
[01:06:45]  Yeah, you get, but they all did.
[01:06:46]  The reason I said it is because they all do peyote, and it's a family affair.
[01:06:50]  It's not like not looked down on.
[01:06:52]  It's not looked down on it.
[01:06:53]  It is when somebody passes, like the family comes together, and the kids do it.
[01:06:57]  They don't look at it as a drug that's for adults.
[01:06:59]  They look at this like transcendent experience that allows you to connect with, I think, maybe the afterlife or whatever it is that they believe in.
[01:07:07]  But I thought that that was really cool a way to look at drugs.
[01:07:09]  Like they didn't think about spiritual fighting.
[01:07:10]  Yeah, they saw in the old pre-Columbian art, they were all like spiritual fighting.
[01:07:14]  Yeah, it's the warriors and the shaman are on the same level of like respect.
[01:07:17]  It's like it's all part of like spiritual warfare versus like a literal war.
[01:07:21]  Yeah.
[01:07:22]  Interesting.
[01:07:23]  But I thought that was interesting, right?
[01:07:24]  Like you're letting kids do it.
[01:07:25]  Yeah, it's not looked down on at all.
[01:07:27]  It's not drugs.
[01:07:27]  Yeah.
[01:07:28]  How are you going to do it?
[01:07:30]  That's the other thing.
[01:07:30]  It's limited, right?
[01:07:31]  It's limited to these experiences.
[01:07:33]  Like, God forbid people die, et cetera.
[01:07:34]  Yeah, they're trying to protect you.
[01:07:36]  Yeah, that he was like all these different experiences and people like fucked with it, which he was like, don't fuck with it.
[01:07:40]  He goes, you don't eat meat.
[01:07:42]  You don't have sex for this many days.
[01:07:43]  Don't eat meat for this many days.
[01:07:44]  Fish is okay.
[01:07:47]  And then afterwards, it's this many days.
[01:07:49]  Lists and his wife came to visit me right then.
[01:07:52]  So they're sober.
[01:07:52]  I'm like, perfect.
[01:07:53]  I'm not allowed to drink anyway.
[01:07:55]  But he's like, don't fuck with it.
[01:07:56]  He goes, there was this one couple that it was like six days out.
[01:07:59]  They're supposed to go eight days.
[01:08:00]  They're like, we're good.
[01:08:02]  And they started fighting immediately.
[01:08:04]  They broke up within a year.
[01:08:05]  Whoa.
[01:08:06]  Yeah.
[01:08:06]  But he's telling us all these different experiences.
[01:08:08]  One of them, the crazy, well, one of them was like this, this guy who was like, him and his chick always had this like every seven months kind of fight of like he doesn't want kids, she does.
[01:08:19]  And then, standard story, put it in the back burner, it was just gonna rear its head again.
[01:08:23]  Put her the back burner, it's gonna rear its head.
[01:08:25]  And they they did this ayahuasca together and they both just, you know, step back from yourself.
[01:08:31]  And they're just like oh, we're just not right for each other.
[01:08:33]  Whoa, and then just broke up.
[01:08:34]  He goes 10 years later he's friends with her family and her sees, sees, her kids sometimes.
[01:08:40]  Because he was just like clear.
[01:08:41]  It's like, yeah, I do love you, but this is I, you want all these things.
[01:08:44]  So what do you think this is?
[01:08:45]  It just helps.

=== Ayahuasca Breakups and Insignificance (04:47) ===

[01:08:46]  You see clearly, mushrooms does that too.
[01:08:48]  It takes you out of yourself.
[01:08:48]  So you get to look at this guy and you don't know a little.
[01:08:51]  You know you make assumptions about people, so you're based on limited amount of knowledge about that person.
[01:08:56]  But you know everything about that person because it's you, and so, with knowing everything about this person but having no ego attached to it that's what they call it where it's like you're like, oh, that guy's just still mad at that chick for breaking his heart.
[01:09:07]  Yeah oh, there's been plenty of guys like that.
[01:09:09]  You can't get mad at him for that, yeah.
[01:09:10]  Or that guy tried to that guy's girlfriend.
[01:09:12]  Oh, that guy was me.
[01:09:13]  Oh, why am I mad at some guy, my ex-girlfriend, it's like I probably don't know.
[01:09:17]  Give yourself advice yeah yeah, exactly.
[01:09:19]  And then you're like you just get calm.
[01:09:21]  You're like this isn't new.
[01:09:22]  It's crazy that we need drugs to empathize with what someone else is going through.
[01:09:26]  Yeah, and why they're, why those, why those interactions they're having are affecting the way that they're treating us.
[01:09:32]  Yeah it's yeah, it's just like a pause.
[01:09:34]  There's a little bit of a moment where you stop going, why is the world happening to me?
[01:09:38]  And then you start going, what the could they be going through?
[01:09:42]  Yeah, you're saying not only other people.
[01:09:43]  You're saying you're able to see yourself.
[01:09:45]  See yourself yeah, yeah.
[01:09:46]  Or like you see, like i'm doing my first big mushroom trips in San Diego with Hinchcliffe and and and Damadonia and a couple other people and um, then we're outside seeing all these like homeless beggars.
[01:09:56]  I'm like, but then for the first time, I was like, Oh, they just got a different drug than I did.
[01:09:59]  They caught crack and I caught weed.
[01:10:02]  I was like, here's $10.
[01:10:04]  Like, sorry.
[01:10:04]  You know, it's not your, your friends just introduced you to the wrong shit.
[01:10:08]  Yeah, you see yourself like, calm down.
[01:10:10]  I've called people and just forgiven them.
[01:10:12]  Like, it's over.
[01:10:13]  It's over.
[01:10:14]  Why?
[01:10:15]  What am I holding on to this dumb fight for?
[01:10:17]  When did you start?
[01:10:18]  What drug changed you the most and when was it?
[01:10:20]  Boomers, for sure.
[01:10:22]  Mushrooms.
[01:10:23]  Okay.
[01:10:23]  Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[01:10:25]  Yeah, mushrooms for sure.
[01:10:27]  Did it allow it allow you to kind of like let go of that resentment?
[01:10:30]  Yeah, resentment and all like what am I holding back for?
[01:10:33]  Yeah.
[01:10:33]  And just like little things of like, I remember Chris Fairbanks had a delivery style that I thought was really cool where he'd like say something, but he'd make a mistake.
[01:10:43]  And I knew it well enough because I'd seen him enough times.
[01:10:44]  He'd make a mistake and then he'd like go off on the mistake, you know?
[01:10:47]  Yeah.
[01:10:48]  He's like, you know, it's like, hey, nice, nice who's.
[01:10:51]  I'm like, who's?
[01:10:52]  What's who's?
[01:10:53]  Imagine if I, and then you just go off, but he'd say shoes wrong on purpose.
[01:10:57]  Yeah.
[01:10:57]  And I've never really seen that style before.
[01:10:59]  Yeah.
[01:10:59]  And then I'm sitting in my car, not able to drive yet.
[01:11:01]  And I'm just like, hey, and it's Facebook.
[01:11:03]  I'm like, hey, Chris, that's a fucking great delivery style.
[01:11:06]  I should tell everybody this stuff more.
[01:11:07]  Yeah.
[01:11:08]  Just be nice to people.
[01:11:09]  Yeah.
[01:11:10]  Help people out.
[01:11:10]  You know, help them out fucking promote their special.
[01:11:12]  Yeah.
[01:11:13]  It's like, yeah, yeah, I've been there.
[01:11:14]  Come on.
[01:11:14]  And it feels really good.
[01:11:15]  It does feel good.
[01:11:16]  It feels good.
[01:11:17]  Yeah.
[01:11:18]  Hate also feels good, but a nice love will fucking get you by.
[01:11:22]  Love lasts longer.
[01:11:22]  Yeah.
[01:11:23]  Yeah.
[01:11:23]  Hates that quick hit.
[01:11:24]  Hates it.
[01:11:25]  Hates like the crack.
[01:11:26]  It's like for five minutes.
[01:11:28]  Yeah.
[01:11:28]  Yeah.
[01:11:29]  I'm curious.
[01:11:29]  The first time you did any of these drugs after leaving like religion, were you nervous?
[01:11:34]  Were you like, oh, this is the shit I'm not supposed to do.
[01:11:36]  It's going to take me someplace I shouldn't be.
[01:11:37]  Mark's about to leave, bro.
[01:11:39]  It's not.
[01:11:41]  I blame his priest, bro.
[01:11:42]  His priest didn't come through on that wedding day.
[01:11:46]  He had one shot, man.
[01:11:48]  You took his line for your catching.
[01:11:50]  I did.
[01:11:51]  You're like, sand and glass and God.
[01:11:53]  Bro, I had a crazy catching.
[01:11:56]  But I was like, I don't know, something about looking at that fucking horseshoe bin, man.
[01:12:00]  I felt so insignificant in the most beautiful way.
[01:12:04]  It was liberating the insignificance.
[01:12:06]  Sometimes you get caught up in significance and you think you matter more than you actually do.
[01:12:11]  And that thought allows you to create things that are really maybe profound within the time you're living in.
[01:12:17]  But it's also nice to take a break from the self-imposed importance and just look at how insignificant things are and then go, who gives a fuck?
[01:12:26]  Like, I'm upset if somebody says something about me or they think a way about me.
[01:12:29]  This is gone.
[01:12:31]  Yeah, instantly.
[01:12:31]  So get over that.
[01:12:33]  Get over that instantly.
[01:12:34]  A week?
[01:12:34]  I'm going to be upset for a week.
[01:12:36]  If a fly is on a piece of cheese, they're not like, oh, should I be doing this?
[01:12:39]  Like, I want cheese.
[01:12:40]  There it is.
[01:12:40]  I'm having it.
[01:12:41]  That was the other thing.
[01:12:41]  When we're walking back from Horseshoe Ben, I tried to take a picture, but it didn't work.
[01:12:45]  There were, I'm looking at this thing that's 100 million years old, right?
[01:12:48]  Yeah.
[01:12:48]  And there were so many people and it was sunset.
[01:12:51]  So everything was dark.
[01:12:52]  You could barely see the people.
[01:12:54]  You just saw their silhouettes.
[01:12:56]  And this is going to sound so corny.
[01:12:58]  I don't give a fuck.
[01:13:01]  We're all ants.
[01:13:02]  We're all ants.
[01:13:03]  And I couldn't see their faces or anything.
[01:13:05]  I just saw these dark silhouettes, just like ants, on this thing that was massive.
[01:13:09]  These tiny little creatures are crawling on this thing was massive.
[01:13:12]  And I was like, oh my God, that's what I see ants doing all the time when they're crawling in a flower bed or something like that.
[01:13:17]  And then that moment, I'm looking at the thing that's already making me feel insignificant.
[01:13:20]  Now I'm looking at all of us slowly walking around on this thing that it's taken hundreds of millions of years to build.
[01:13:25]  There's no buildings, nothing around us.
[01:13:28]  And I'm like, fuck.
[01:13:30]  I cannot let the littlest shit bother me anymore.

=== AG1 Daily Nutrition Scoop (03:07) ===

[01:13:33]  And I will.
[01:13:34]  And I will.
[01:13:35]  Yeah.
[01:13:35]  Yeah.
[01:13:35]  You'll get back to it.
[01:13:36]  But I hope I can have moments like that.
[01:13:39]  No, dude.
[01:13:39]  Not at all.
[01:13:40]  But sometimes I can get those highs without drugs.
[01:13:43]  Like I felt the highs I've experienced from like Molly and Ecstasy through not for as long and not as sustained, but I've gotten there just through like amazing experiences.
[01:13:53]  I've had somebody tell me like meditation will get you wherever mushrooms get you.
[01:13:57]  Any of those psychedelics, and it's like they said, they explained it.
[01:13:59]  Like, imagine if like someone's knocking your door, you could get a butler to go open the door for you, or you could just learn through meditation to get up and open.
[01:14:07]  The mushrooms are the or the butler.
[01:14:09]  I like a butler.
[01:14:10]  That's the thing.
[01:14:10]  That's not what it's doing.
[01:14:11]  Get a button.
[01:14:11]  Just get a butler.
[01:14:16]  The door's ringing.
[01:14:17]  What are you talking about?
[01:14:17]  What are you talking about?
[01:14:19]  Doing for hours?
[01:14:20]  Fuck off.
[01:14:22]  You want a lighter?
[01:14:23]  You want to fucking do it?
[01:14:25]  You want to walk to work?
[01:14:26]  We take it to somewhere.
[01:14:28]  If I read the backstory in this fucking Fast and Furious film, I can enjoy it more.
[01:14:33]  You know, what are you talking about?
[01:14:36]  All right, guys, we're going to take a break for a second because our next partner has a product I literally use every single day.
[01:14:42]  Now, I started taking AG1.
[01:14:44]  That's athletic greens for you rookies out there, but you're about to be on board when I tell you what I'm talking about.
[01:14:50]  Get that daily dose of everything you fucking need, okay?
[01:14:55]  I want it all in one.
[01:14:56]  All right.
[01:14:57]  I don't want to take 15 different pills, 14 different multivitamins, this hair lotion, all that.
[01:15:05]  I want one thing that does it all for me, baby, and that's AG1.
[01:15:09]  Okay.
[01:15:09]  I don't care about the vitamins.
[01:15:12]  I want them in here in the beverage, immediately drink it, and I'm like, ow, I'm a healthy person.
[01:15:17]  Did I work out this morning?
[01:15:19]  No, but I'm healthy because I drank this.
[01:15:22]  It's the best option for easy, optimal nutrition right here.
[01:15:25]  Okay.
[01:15:26]  You take one scoop of AG1 and you're absorbing 75 high-quality vitamins, minerals, whole food source, superfoods, probiotics, and adaptogens to help you start your day right.
[01:15:34]  Okay.
[01:15:35]  Now, let me tell you something.
[01:15:37]  Sustainable routines are key for success.
[01:15:41]  AG1, this right here, this little micro habit of mine, it makes it easy to absorb key nutrients and lead the healthy lifestyle that I'm trying my best to lead, okay?
[01:15:52]  If I want to feel my best, no matter what the day holds, I start that bitch with AG1.
[01:15:57]  One scoop, one minute, once a day, every single day.
[01:16:03]  Right now, it's time to reclaim your health and arm your immune system with convenient daily nutrition.
[01:16:10]  It's just one scoop and a cup of water every day.
[01:16:12]  That's it.
[01:16:13]  No need for a million different pills or supplements to look out for your health.
[01:16:16]  So to make it easy, Athletic Greens is going to give you a free one-year supply of immune-supporting vitamin D and five free travel packs with your first purchase, okay?
[01:16:26]  All you have to do is visit athleticgreens.com/slash flagrant.
[01:16:31]  Again, that is athleticgreens.com/slash flagrant to take ownership over your health and pick up the ultimate daily nutritional insurance.

=== Jewish History and Immunity Blends (14:44) ===

[01:16:41]  Now, let's get back to the show.
[01:16:42]  Also, guys, I need to tell you about some dates I got.
[01:16:45]  December 1st, I'm gonna be in Tempe, Arizona.
[01:16:47]  And January 14th, super excited about this.
[01:16:50]  I'm going to be at the Wilbur Theater.
[01:16:52]  We will sell these tickets out.
[01:16:53]  You need to get them now.
[01:16:55]  And January 21st and 22nd, I'm going to be in Vegas.
[01:16:58]  I'm not supposed to announce that, but I'm going to do it anyway.
[01:17:00]  Who cares?
[01:17:01]  Get your tickets at akashing.com.
[01:17:04]  Now, let's get back to the show.
[01:17:05]  I am curious about that.
[01:17:06]  You mentioned that in the special, the difference between, because our only like real Jewish like authority is Sephardic.
[01:17:13]  Yeah.
[01:17:13]  And so he gives us like his Sephardic LA version of Judaism.
[01:17:16]  Separate your trash.
[01:17:18]  So I'm curious.
[01:17:19]  What's the difference between you, Jew and that Jew?
[01:17:21]  Well, he'll never wear his fucking Yamak out except on Shabbos.
[01:17:24]  He's fucking half Jews.
[01:17:26]  That's a good ass.
[01:17:27]  That's a good ass point, bro.
[01:17:28]  Keep going.
[01:17:29]  Keep going.
[01:17:30]  They care their bread.
[01:17:31]  They don't cut it.
[01:17:31]  They're animals, dude.
[01:17:33]  They're not like, they're not like full-on.
[01:17:35]  They are tougher, though.
[01:17:36]  Yeah.
[01:17:37]  Oh, they're tougher.
[01:17:37]  They are tougher.
[01:17:39]  Sometimes he does bacon.
[01:17:41]  No, no.
[01:17:42]  One food.
[01:17:43]  He's not religious.
[01:17:43]  That's right.
[01:17:43]  Oh, my dad eats a lot of bacon.
[01:17:44]  I'll be on the body.
[01:17:45]  No, there's one food that's.
[01:17:47]  Our food is better afterwards.
[01:17:48]  Their food is better.
[01:17:49]  The Lachma Jean and shit like that.
[01:17:52]  Yeah, yeah.
[01:17:52]  You don't have to worry about God as much as you do.
[01:17:54]  Ashkenazi Jewish food is not great.
[01:17:55]  You guys all like Israeli food, and it's mainly Sephardic.
[01:17:58]  It's mostly Sephardic, yeah.
[01:18:00]  So if there's a Jewish Olympics 100-meter dash, who wins?
[01:18:03]  Spartan.
[01:18:03]  The darker ones.
[01:18:04]  Like, I haven't a question.
[01:18:05]  No, we'll be managers.
[01:18:06]  We'll own the teams.
[01:18:08]  No, no, hold on.
[01:18:09]  We're actually good, like, middle distance, but you guys, I mean, some of the long game.
[01:18:13]  Yeah, long game.
[01:18:13]  I will say the one thing I realized later, Joe Harari turned me onto this is that you guys didn't have the Holocaust.
[01:18:19]  The Sephardic Jews didn't have it.
[01:18:20]  It's Syria and Iran and Jordan.
[01:18:22]  It just never got there.
[01:18:23]  So it's this deep, close historical thing.
[01:18:27]  What?
[01:18:30]  Russians.
[01:18:30]  The Muslims.
[01:18:31]  The Muslims protected the Jews.
[01:18:33]  Yeah, well, no, Ottoman was World War I, right?
[01:18:35]  But yeah, they were living in the Moroccans love their Muslim king.
[01:18:40]  Like they are very... Moroccan Jews, I mean.
[01:18:42]  Did they protect him or were they also?
[01:18:44]  Oh, my name is Wahoo.
[01:18:46]  Don't do it.
[01:18:46]  Remember, yes, we did not have anything close to what the Holocaust was, but then they did also get mainly kicked out of mainland.
[01:18:53]  But that was Africa.
[01:18:54]  Oh, come on.
[01:18:54]  You got no tears for Palestine.
[01:18:56]  But you're talking about you getting kicked out of someplace.
[01:18:59]  This guy talking about the Holocaust a lot of times you mean go through it.
[01:19:01]  Tell me which.
[01:19:02]  Hey, slavery was rough for me.
[01:19:03]  Tell me which Sephardic Jews are still religious.
[01:19:05]  What are we talking about?
[01:19:06]  What are we talking about?
[01:19:08]  After that, Sephardi Jews are still living in their country.
[01:19:12]  Hold on a Florida War.
[01:19:13]  He does another one of these gasoline.
[01:19:16]  Let's just ask it.
[01:19:17]  I just want to ask.
[01:19:17]  Hey, you don't know nothing about nothing with this.
[01:19:19]  Hold on, hold on a second.
[01:19:20]  Hold on a second.
[01:19:21]  I'm just curious.
[01:19:22]  Can African Americans, not black people, like Africans that just moved here, can they talk about slavery in the same way that African Americans, like black people in America, are the descendants of slaves?
[01:19:37]  There was slavery in Africa as well.
[01:19:38]  Yeah, but from y'all.
[01:19:40]  I mean, it's slavery.
[01:19:41]  So they have slavery there?
[01:19:44]  No, but can they talk about Islam?
[01:19:46]  No, no, I'll say it.
[01:19:47]  Hey, they can talk about racism.
[01:19:48]  They can talk about racism, right?
[01:19:49]  Because they experience racism in America.
[01:19:51]  But racism, racism is not the issue, right?
[01:19:53]  Everybody is going to experience some form of racism.
[01:19:55]  My forefathers didn't get a fair shake.
[01:19:57]  Your forefathers did.
[01:19:59]  They got the fairish shit.
[01:19:59]  The Nigerian got a fair shake.
[01:20:07]  Ashkenazis and Sephardics, we love you.
[01:20:09]  They're going to go to hell.
[01:20:10]  He called you an anti-Jewish anymore.
[01:20:13]  There wasn't in the old days, like in Israel, because it was all Jews for a while.
[01:20:17]  We were almost on a point here.
[01:20:19]  And the Sephardis and the Ashkenazis hated each other.
[01:20:22]  And then my dad said a Sephardi was dating his sister, and then a bunch of their friends beat that guy up and put him in the hospital.
[01:20:30]  No fucking Sephardi's going to do that.
[01:20:32]  That was like, I don't know what we were thinking back then.
[01:20:34]  That was nuts.
[01:20:35]  That's how people feel about all of our fucked up shit.
[01:20:38]  Yeah, that's like a fucking Irish Catholic, not in my neighborhood.
[01:20:42]  It's just a different time.
[01:20:45]  Can they complain about the Holocaust in the same way?
[01:20:48]  Oh, right.
[01:20:48]  That was what we're trying to get at.
[01:20:50]  Well, Jews can complain.
[01:20:51]  Experiences fundamentally different.
[01:20:53]  They can.
[01:20:54]  You've taken away their ability to exist if you take away their way to complain.
[01:20:59]  But can they redistribute the complaints?
[01:21:02]  I'm just curious.
[01:21:03]  I'm just saying.
[01:21:05]  I'm just saying, can they complain the same way?
[01:21:08]  Because they did not experience it.
[01:21:09]  It's not something that they know.
[01:21:10]  They're coming after Jews.
[01:21:12]  All of them.
[01:21:13]  Well, not all.
[01:21:17]  You guys can blend in.
[01:21:17]  You can go to Mexico and blend in.
[01:21:19]  Yeah.
[01:21:20]  Go to North Africa.
[01:21:20]  You can't really blend in, bro.
[01:21:22]  Yeah, I can't really blend in.
[01:21:24]  I was in Amsterdam and my friend Paul Morrison.
[01:21:27]  We were walking to some bar, whatever.
[01:21:30]  And this big Nigerian bouncer, he's just like, I did whatever.
[01:21:34]  He was like, okay.
[01:21:34]  He goes, show my brother to me.
[01:21:39]  Sight unseen.
[01:21:40]  Yeah, I know.
[01:21:40]  They're going to find you.
[01:21:41]  But that is an interesting point.
[01:21:43]  Yeah.
[01:21:43]  That is really interesting.
[01:21:44]  You can't really complain about the Holocaust.
[01:21:46]  You can't.
[01:21:47]  Technically speaking.
[01:21:48]  Technically speaking.
[01:21:49]  You can complain about interest rates.
[01:21:51]  You can't do that?
[01:21:52]  And have?
[01:21:53]  Are synagogues kind of segregated?
[01:21:55]  If I walked into a random synagogue, is there like a Sephardim and then an Ashkenazi?
[01:21:59]  What do you say when the Sephardim goes, ah, the Holocaust was so horrible?
[01:22:02]  So it's like, what do you?
[01:22:04]  What do you say?
[01:22:05]  What is so fun to be doing?
[01:22:06]  What do you say?
[01:22:07]  You know, racism?
[01:22:07]  Yeah, yeah.
[01:22:08]  What do you say?
[01:22:08]  When they say what?
[01:22:09]  Like, when they're like, oh, the Holocaust was so hard for us and like our people.
[01:22:13]  Yeah.
[01:22:13]  Like, what was her reading about it and stuff?
[01:22:17]  Well, that diary is very depressing.
[01:22:22]  Yeah, we had to read it too.
[01:22:24]  I'm just, is there any conversation?
[01:22:26]  This is, this is.
[01:22:27]  No, we definitely talked about it.
[01:22:28]  To be honest, though.
[01:22:29]  Why wouldn't they want us to be protective of that story?
[01:22:33]  We do our fucking work to do it.
[01:22:34]  That's a good.
[01:22:35]  Why didn't they come bust down and fuck with y'all?
[01:22:37]  Like, how did y'all?
[01:22:38]  Yo, like, sorry, my friends.
[01:22:40]  That's for the Schindler's List.
[01:22:42]  What about my man's list?
[01:22:43]  Yeah, grandfather fought in World War I. Suck a dick.
[01:22:45]  He was in trenches.
[01:22:46]  That was the World War.
[01:22:47]  It was the World War.
[01:22:50]  Dude, we had one.
[01:22:52]  One was handled.
[01:22:53]  You had a grandpa.
[01:22:54]  You had a grandpa didn't you?
[01:22:55]  He couldn't fight World War II.
[01:22:57]  What do you use later?
[01:22:58]  Sequel?
[01:22:59]  Just hide.
[01:22:59]  Come on.
[01:23:00]  Son, that's wild, dog.
[01:23:01]  Look how they do you.
[01:23:02]  All the sophomores.
[01:23:05]  What do they control?
[01:23:06]  Our food is so good.
[01:23:07]  Roast these little roasts.
[01:23:09]  Maybe not.
[01:23:10]  Maybe I get X. He's not incensed.
[01:23:11]  He's even to the roasting.
[01:23:13]  This is so crazy.
[01:23:14]  It doesn't even affect him.
[01:23:15]  He doesn't make this charge.
[01:23:16]  I'm sorry for his incense.
[01:23:17]  Like, that's hard.
[01:23:18]  That's crazy.
[01:23:18]  Like, you're talking to someone who is actually a descendant.
[01:23:20]  Yeah.
[01:23:21]  Like, an actual survivor.
[01:23:22]  I've heard Sephardics say that they survived the Holocaust.
[01:23:25]  What?
[01:23:26]  I have heard them talk about it.
[01:23:28]  I said, I have heard them.
[01:23:31]  My family survived the Holocaust.
[01:23:32]  The whole family.
[01:23:33]  What?
[01:23:33]  They've said that?
[01:23:34]  Wait.
[01:23:35]  Well, we survived the Holocaust.
[01:23:36]  Like, everyone.
[01:23:36]  Oh, I'm so sorry.
[01:23:38]  Like, I survived 9-11.
[01:23:39]  Yeah, exactly.
[01:23:41]  Maybe it would have something would have happened had we not been kicked out of Europe in 1492.
[01:23:46]  Thank you.
[01:23:46]  Again, all these girls got it.
[01:23:49]  Spain, but you guys were selfish.
[01:23:51]  Why didn't you go east like them?
[01:23:52]  You guys went south because you wanted to be near the water, you know?
[01:23:55]  Some did.
[01:23:55]  Some did.
[01:23:56]  Hey, that you can complain about 1482.
[01:23:59]  What happened in 1942?
[01:24:00]  You got no conflict.
[01:24:02]  You know what?
[01:24:03]  Don't worry.
[01:24:04]  I still get the 10%.
[01:24:05]  It's fine.
[01:24:06]  But what is, but what is this?
[01:24:07]  We don't know.
[01:24:08]  It's just such a crazy.
[01:24:10]  Foul is just fascinating as we learn more and more about cultures.
[01:24:13]  Like, Jews are not a monolith.
[01:24:15]  There are Jews that have experienced struggle, and then there are others, and it's fine.
[01:24:19]  That's okay.
[01:24:19]  So that's okay.
[01:24:21]  Eloquently said.
[01:24:21]  I'm learning today.
[01:24:22]  Yeah.
[01:24:23]  Eloquently said.
[01:24:23]  I think that's beautiful.
[01:24:24]  So what's the ranking of Jews?
[01:24:26]  Is there a power ranking?
[01:24:27]  Okay, so after going through this extreme struggle.
[01:24:30]  Yeah, I mean, Ashkenazi's Jews are a huge.
[01:24:31]  But can I ask you?
[01:24:33]  They make more money.
[01:24:33]  Jordash is all down.
[01:24:34]  But we don't know.
[01:24:35]  All of Deal, New Jersey.
[01:24:36]  All that city that you live in and pay rents are Syrian Jews.
[01:24:39]  Oh, Syrian Jews.
[01:24:41]  So you guys can own every house in your house.
[01:24:43]  Oh, no.
[01:24:43]  And listen, I don't know.
[01:24:44]  You live in Deal, New Jersey.
[01:24:45]  Say what?
[01:24:46]  You live in Deal?
[01:24:47]  No.
[01:24:47]  No.
[01:24:48]  It's called Deal.
[01:24:50]  He's called Deal.
[01:24:52]  There's no way.
[01:24:53]  There is no wet.
[01:24:54]  Did Howie Mandel?
[01:24:58]  Deal?
[01:25:00]  New Jersey.
[01:25:01]  Yes.
[01:25:03]  You're not even trying to hide.
[01:25:04]  I know, you know.
[01:25:05]  I'm not even trying to hide all this dwelling.
[01:25:07]  We want to blend in.
[01:25:08]  We want to blend in.
[01:25:09]  I can't.
[01:25:10]  I'm Moroccan.
[01:25:10]  You got to be Syrian to be there.
[01:25:13]  Yeah, yeah.
[01:25:14]  Yeah, there's some like, there's some like that, Syrians and Moroccan Jews.
[01:25:17]  I don't think they're better or worse.
[01:25:18]  Yeah, yeah.
[01:25:18]  It's like.
[01:25:19]  You guys, you guys are like.
[01:25:20]  No, we're too blended.
[01:25:21]  We don't even know anymore.
[01:25:22]  Yeah.
[01:25:23]  But it was very nice of you to actually finally make Israel for them because they couldn't do it.
[01:25:27]  Actually, we built it.
[01:25:28]  That was really cool.
[01:25:29]  They used us to build it.
[01:25:29]  It was really cool that the Ashkenazis went in there.
[01:25:31]  I was like, you don't get enough credit for that.
[01:25:35]  They're sitting on their ass making bobbleganish the whole fucking World War II.
[01:25:39]  Yeah, they're smoking their fucking flatbread while we're out there fucking building buildings.
[01:25:43]  No, no, no, no.
[01:25:43]  You weren't building.
[01:25:44]  No.
[01:25:45]  We were building it.
[01:25:46]  Okay, but you hired them to build some buildings.
[01:25:48]  They're all Mexicans.
[01:25:52]  He's a Mexican Jew.
[01:25:57]  Hold on.
[01:25:58]  Why don't you guys get enough credit?
[01:26:00]  Why don't you guys get enough credit for all that you've given the Sephardim?
[01:26:03]  Yeah, I don't.
[01:26:04]  Wow.
[01:26:06]  You know what I mean?
[01:26:07]  I don't know.
[01:26:07]  I mean, I'm not sure.
[01:26:08]  Because they're really harping on this food shit that they took from the Muslims.
[01:26:11]  If you really wanted to, what did they do?
[01:26:13]  What did they do?
[01:26:14]  Kanye, get at me.
[01:26:15]  Let's band together.
[01:26:17]  The right juice.
[01:26:19]  I'll be away with you.
[01:26:20]  I'll rewrite your stuff.
[01:26:21]  I'll spell check.
[01:26:22]  That's a problem.
[01:26:22]  You guys are a bank.
[01:26:23]  You're going to get a little spell check yourself, Kanye.
[01:26:25]  And we just get these fucking Sfarneys once and for all.
[01:26:27]  No, he's actually only.
[01:26:28]  Hey, hey, do I say the Holocaust never happened?
[01:26:31]  Man, it didn't.
[01:26:31]  It did.
[01:26:32]  Wow.
[01:26:33]  Maybe he's right.
[01:26:34]  Maybe he's just more knowledgeable.
[01:26:35]  I'm not believing about people.
[01:26:37]  Wow.
[01:26:38]  Kanye was on his own.
[01:26:39]  I mean, this is.
[01:26:39]  You and Kanye need to team up.
[01:26:40]  Start a bank together.
[01:26:41]  I really did.
[01:26:43]  It's the West Bank.
[01:26:44]  It's the purpose.
[01:26:45]  Do it.
[01:26:46]  This is great.
[01:26:47]  This is, I think we've actually gotten somewhere.
[01:26:49]  This is beautiful.
[01:26:50]  And I'm glad that you're learning more.
[01:26:52]  Thank you.
[01:26:52]  About your history.
[01:26:54]  Yeah.
[01:26:54]  That Kush life that you were living in them 40s, man.
[01:26:57]  Wow.
[01:26:57]  Wouldn't it be nice?
[01:26:58]  You can't fit from people thinking that you're Jewish.
[01:27:00]  I think you've actually made.
[01:27:01]  Oh, yeah.
[01:27:01]  It's so much benefit.
[01:27:03]  I get all the anti-Semitism and none of the benefits of being Jewish.
[01:27:08]  None of the loans.
[01:27:09]  Yeah, exactly.
[01:27:10]  Yeah, I've had so many people.
[01:27:11]  I'm like, he's not Jewish.
[01:27:13]  You're wrong.
[01:27:13]  I'm like, I'm not wrong.
[01:27:14]  You know your Jews, dude.
[01:27:16]  He does not.
[01:27:16]  You know your Jews.
[01:27:17]  Yeah.
[01:27:20]  Listen, I know and I experience the Jew hate.
[01:27:22]  They won't, they want to.
[01:27:23]  Well, they want, they're like, they think I'm Jewish, so they, anybody who hates Jews will hate me.
[01:27:27]  Right, right, right, right.
[01:27:28]  But then I don't have the great Ashkenazis to protect me.
[01:27:31]  You don't have the intelligence.
[01:27:33]  The intelligence of the Ashkenazis.
[01:27:34]  I just got this goy brain.
[01:27:37]  Don't blow up for yourself.
[01:27:38]  Don't blow up for yourself.
[01:27:39]  That's not bad.
[01:27:40]  Yeah.
[01:27:41]  Hey, in terms of what you were saying about like, it's pompous to create something if you're an artist and you're like, what am I doing?
[01:27:46]  I'm just here temporarily.
[01:27:47]  Why do I make something and like promote it and stuff?
[01:27:49]  But I do believe we should.
[01:27:51]  That's your cheese for a fly.
[01:27:53]  It's like, this is fun for me to do.
[01:27:55]  We do need the things.
[01:27:56]  Yeah.
[01:27:57]  It's like, oh, I like this.
[01:27:57]  Yeah.
[01:27:58]  Someone else wants to build a boat.
[01:27:59]  Then go fucking do that.
[01:28:00]  So I think then it comes down to, and do you see how his fucking Ashkenazi brain just moved us away from that brain, dude?
[01:28:06]  Dude, that dread.
[01:28:07]  He got to spinning.
[01:28:08]  And then I crossed it over the top and then fucking went to the food.
[01:28:13]  That's a mama mentality.
[01:28:15]  That's a good crossover.
[01:28:17]  Red crossover.
[01:28:19]  And what were you doing this whole time?
[01:28:20]  Just stewing.
[01:28:21]  Which is what you do well.
[01:28:22]  Yeah, stews.
[01:28:25]  Gotta be honest.
[01:28:27]  He's got his investment app open.
[01:28:32]  Invented by an Ashkenazi.
[01:28:35]  Which is very good.
[01:28:35]  No, yes, you're right.
[01:28:36]  So if I don't want to say if there's no point in life, maybe the point of life is to find our cheese.
[01:28:42]  Yeah.
[01:28:42]  And to find the things that make us feel good.
[01:28:44]  And if that's helping other people, if that's helping our families, if that's building cool things, whatever it is.
[01:28:49]  Surfing.
[01:28:49]  You want to surf all this into it.
[01:28:50]  Exactly.
[01:28:50]  Yeah.
[01:28:51]  Do as much of the thing that brings you joy as you possibly can without hurting other people.
[01:28:55]  Yeah.
[01:28:56]  I've been, I want to ask you a question about your neck, your new stuff that you're working on.
[01:29:00]  Is it, are you scared it's not going to mean as much to you?
[01:29:02]  You put five years into this.
[01:29:04]  It was so personal.
[01:29:06]  It's so tied into your identity, how you grew up.
[01:29:09]  Your new stuff can't be that.
[01:29:11]  It's not.
[01:29:12]  So how does it, how do you sit with that?
[01:29:15]  How do you cope with that?
[01:29:16]  I put everything mentally into this last one.
[01:29:18]  Yeah.
[01:29:19]  Yeah.
[01:29:20]  And like ready to put it out.
[01:29:22]  The Lakers came after me.
[01:29:23]  Couldn't put it out.
[01:29:25]  The Lakers.
[01:29:27]  How are you guys doing this year?
[01:29:31]  What a nice dream team you got.
[01:29:36]  That's funny.
[01:29:36]  Yeah, put everything into it.
[01:29:38]  And I just can't, I can't think like this anymore.
[01:29:40]  I can't think like in this theme.
[01:29:41]  It was so much that this will be back to just like, I'll have a through line.
[01:29:47]  Yeah, it'll be like mediums and like just like does that bother you on any level?
[01:29:50]  Are you okay with that?
[01:29:52]  Yeah, I'm okay with it.
[01:29:54]  Good.
[01:29:54]  A lot of this is what I saw you got to stand a few weeks ago and you were talking on just like whatever hot button topics and you were spitfiring and it was great.
[01:30:01]  I mean, it wasn't the Jew stuff, but I'm just doing this new thing I'll put up on YouTube sometimes where I really don't.
[01:30:06]  I very much stay away from the news.
[01:30:08]  I won't even like see it once in a while.
[01:30:10]  If I'll see a CNN open on a page, I'm like, no, I don't want to see anything.
[01:30:14]  So I'll hear about big stuff like the queen dying and stuff.
[01:30:15]  But generally, I'll do this.
[01:30:17]  What?
[01:30:17]  Monkeypox.
[01:30:18]  Monkeypox.
[01:30:19]  Yeah, stuff like that.
[01:30:19]  But I'm like, what's in the news?
[01:30:21]  And like, let's have some fun.
[01:30:22]  I don't feel like doing material.
[01:30:23]  And they'll tell me something and I'll just like try to analyze it, hearing about it from the first time.
[01:30:28]  And then I'll just put a clip up of like, I guess this is the news to a guy.
[01:30:31]  It's the funniest way to hear about the news.
[01:30:33]  I'll be honest, I like doing that.
[01:30:35]  I like finding out what they care about because it's a good litmus test to like what the zeitgeist did.
[01:30:40]  Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[01:30:41]  What's everyone talking about?
[01:30:42]  And I've never heard for a year.
[01:30:44]  Exactly.
[01:30:44]  But there's so few things that everybody gets on the same page on.
[01:30:47]  It's almost like even the World Cup, I don't even think we're there yet.
[01:30:50]  Maybe this game with Iran.
[01:30:52]  Maybe.
[01:30:53]  Yeah.
[01:30:53]  Right.
[01:30:54]  But it's like, what do we all care about at the same time?
[01:30:56]  Trump did a great job.
[01:30:58]  Trump did organizing everything.
[01:31:00]  He literally united.
[01:31:01]  He really did.
[01:31:01]  Did everybody give a fuck about the same thing?
[01:31:03]  It's really kind of crazy.
[01:31:04]  Yeah.
[01:31:04]  There was a guy who worked next door to Cafe Wa, black dude.
[01:31:07]  And after Trump got elected, it was just like people were like in this days.
[01:31:11]  Remember that?
[01:31:12]  Yeah.
[01:31:12]  And he just goes, he was just going, we did it.
[01:31:14]  We did it.
[01:31:15]  Right.
[01:31:16]  And we're like, Trump, right?
[01:31:17]  I'm like, oh, he was having so much fun with it.
[01:31:20]  I've never seen New York sad in the day after Trump won't be able to see it.
[01:31:22]  You can see it.
[01:31:24]  Did you guys get you guys all here when it happened?

=== Toddler Fashion and World Cup Unity (04:32) ===

[01:31:26]  Yeah.
[01:31:26]  Obviously, the way the women would stare angrily at you.
[01:31:29]  Like you're on the subway and they're just like, you want to be like, I didn't even vote.
[01:31:33]  I didn't do it.
[01:31:34]  I didn't get those things.
[01:31:35]  You didn't get those things?
[01:31:36]  They knew who you voted for.
[01:31:38]  Exactly.
[01:31:40]  This guy's jerking off into a MAGA hat.
[01:31:42]  Of course, they're going to give him a couple weird stares.
[01:31:44]  Yeah.
[01:31:46]  He did unite everybody.
[01:31:47]  He did.
[01:31:47]  He did.
[01:31:48]  Organized.
[01:31:49]  It was for the first time in so long.
[01:31:50]  Exactly.
[01:31:50]  Nobody gave a fuck.
[01:31:51]  Nobody gave a fuck.
[01:31:52]  They cared about being on a side.
[01:31:54]  Right.
[01:31:54]  So that.
[01:31:54]  Yeah, you're right.
[01:31:55]  You'll get what the crowd, everybody's thinking about.
[01:31:57]  And that's what I'm so curious about right now.
[01:31:58]  And I think what often happens to us is kind of how much regular shit you're doing.
[01:32:04]  What do you mean?
[01:32:04]  Like, I don't know how much regular, how much are like you are you only hanging out with comics?
[01:32:08]  Another bad thing.
[01:32:09]  Not living lives.
[01:32:10]  How many regular people are you like interacting with?
[01:32:12]  Like all my friends are starting to have kids, which is even more isolating.
[01:32:14]  Now they're not regular.
[01:32:16]  They're not at the bars.
[01:32:17]  They're not complaining about issues, like dating issues or the most simple things.
[01:32:21]  So it's like my way of like connecting and finding the pulse.
[01:32:23]  And sometimes people throw some shit out there.
[01:32:26]  I don't even know that they still care about.
[01:32:27]  Right.
[01:32:28]  And then it's also what matters to you.
[01:32:29]  So it's like, I fucking hate these guys who have kids and don't fucking hang out anymore.
[01:32:32]  If it bothers you, it's like, we're all at it.
[01:32:34]  We're just a Super Bowl party.
[01:32:34]  Don't show up at your fucking toddler to a Super Bowl party.
[01:32:37]  Yeah.
[01:32:37]  Let it bother you.
[01:32:38]  Yeah.
[01:32:40]  You got to spike a bottle, bro.
[01:32:41]  That would be fire, dude.
[01:32:42]  Oh, a little breast milk.
[01:32:44]  Yeah.
[01:32:45]  A little tab and a breast milk.
[01:32:46]  Spike the breast milk, dude.
[01:32:48]  Yeah.
[01:32:49]  Yeah, that would be fun.
[01:32:49]  Or just spike the woman and have her breastfeed.
[01:32:52]  Double.
[01:32:53]  Double spike.
[01:32:53]  Dude, had the toddler speak in like full sentences.
[01:32:56]  I like it.
[01:32:57]  One suck.
[01:32:58]  And it's like, oh, that was pretty good, mom.
[01:33:00]  What?
[01:33:00]  What did you say?
[01:33:03]  You're like, you just talked for the first time in a complete sentence.
[01:33:05]  Yeah.
[01:33:06]  First words were complete.
[01:33:07]  The mom's like, did you spike my baby?
[01:33:09]  They're like, no, I spiked you.
[01:33:09]  That's why you think he talked.
[01:33:11]  You're like, that's what it was.
[01:33:13]  That's how they do it in They Might Be Shadows.
[01:33:15]  If they want to get drunk, they just drink drunk people's blood.
[01:33:17]  Oh, yeah.
[01:33:18]  The vampires?
[01:33:19]  Yeah, I'm like, oh, fuck.
[01:33:21]  I've heard that shit is great ass.
[01:33:22]  That's great.
[01:33:23]  That's going to come out of Saturn Island.
[01:33:24]  Sal included.
[01:33:27]  There's a so funny, man, how little people care anymore.
[01:33:32]  There's this Blenciaga ad.
[01:33:33]  Did you do that?
[01:33:34]  Yeah.
[01:33:34]  Yeah.
[01:33:35]  Touch your radar at all.
[01:33:36]  Nope.
[01:33:37]  So Balenciaga put out this ad where they had like a toddler holding a teddy bear that was in like bondage straps.
[01:33:43]  Right?
[01:33:43]  Cool.
[01:33:45]  And everybody's coming.
[01:33:47]  I'm so mad if it's their kids.
[01:33:48]  Oh, yeah.
[01:33:49]  But usually the kids stuff just kind of organizes everybody.
[01:33:52]  Everybody can get on the side of like, don't treat kids poorly.
[01:33:55]  And I feel like even this, Kim Kardashian, felt like she had to fucking address it.
[01:33:59]  And even this.
[01:33:59]  Address it.
[01:34:00]  Everyone has to address it publicly.
[01:34:02]  Everyone's acting.
[01:34:03]  No one asked.
[01:34:04]  But look at that.
[01:34:05]  This is what I'm talking about.
[01:34:05]  No one's really upset by it.
[01:34:07]  You might just be a little bit like, I think people are low-key upset.
[01:34:11]  Beyond disturbing.
[01:34:12]  Disturbing is not a good enough word.
[01:34:14]  They're upset because they're beyond disturbing.
[01:34:15]  No, They're upset because they dropped Kanye for being immoral or unethical.
[01:34:21]  And now we're having babies show up with like bondage teddy flare.
[01:34:24]  So it's like, so what is it?
[01:34:25]  Yeah, what are you talking about?
[01:34:26]  And they're mad about the court document that was in the picture.
[01:34:28]  You heard about this?
[01:34:29]  What?
[01:34:29]  Oh.
[01:34:30]  So in one of the wild.
[01:34:31]  This is legit wild.
[01:34:32]  In one of the pictures, I can pull it up if you want.
[01:34:34]  But in one of the pictures, basically, there's a picture of like paper that's like behind like Balenciaga products.
[01:34:40]  And one of the papers is from a Supreme Court trial in like 2006, like a verdict that they gave, basically saying that child pornography wasn't free speech or something like that.
[01:34:50]  So it was literally like court documents related to child pornography from the court.
[01:34:55]  And people were like, why is that?
[01:34:56]  Whose idea?
[01:34:57]  How do we not know whose idea is this?
[01:34:59]  So Balenciaga is now suing the creative agency and the guy that came up with.
[01:35:03]  It's like Nike's suing a sweatshop.
[01:35:05]  No, they're blaming.
[01:35:06]  You know where the fucking shit is made.
[01:35:07]  Get the hell out of here.
[01:35:08]  Come on.
[01:35:09]  Yeah.
[01:35:09]  They got to know.
[01:35:10]  You don't just start doing this shit.
[01:35:12]  This is your thing.
[01:35:13]  Right?
[01:35:13]  Like, I guarantee we look at this other guy's work.
[01:35:15]  We're going to see some other weird shit with kids in there.
[01:35:17]  Yeah.
[01:35:17]  So like, this is like from the thing.
[01:35:19]  And basically, if you zoom in and like read what this.
[01:35:21]  Oh, no, that's snoop.
[01:35:23]  Core case is.
[01:35:24]  Wow.
[01:35:24]  That's why it's actually a thing.
[01:35:26]  And then it also confirms all these people who are like, oh, elites are like, you know, fucking.
[01:35:30]  Sucking baby blood.
[01:35:31]  Do you buy baby blood?
[01:35:33]  I would.
[01:35:34]  Yeah, it's not readily available.
[01:35:36]  I mean, you can make it a bit.
[01:35:38]  You're close to Illuminati level, dude.
[01:35:39]  You can, if I know what anyone who could get me some.
[01:35:42]  Okay.
[01:35:42]  I know.
[01:35:43]  We got some safaris hooked up to like one of those dairy cows.
[01:35:48]  Fucking Amazon.
[01:35:52]  If someone offered you a piece of like human flesh, but it was ethically sourced, would you eat it?
[01:35:56]  I've already thought.
[01:35:57]  We've all thought about this, right?

=== Falling Lines and March 24th (05:18) ===

[01:35:58]  You say yes?
[01:35:59]  I say yes.
[01:36:00]  Alice says yes.
[01:36:01]  I'm not necessarily against that.
[01:36:02]  Well prepared.
[01:36:03]  Yeah.
[01:36:03]  Not that much street food.
[01:36:04]  Like let's say a guy got his leg amputated and it was his own leg.
[01:36:07]  He's the chef and he makes.
[01:36:08]  What was the reason for the amputation?
[01:36:09]  It was purely he just wanted to.
[01:36:11]  Does it affect his ability to cook food?
[01:36:12]  No.
[01:36:13]  I'm in.
[01:36:15]  There's no really reason.
[01:36:16]  Yeah, I'm not against that.
[01:36:17]  I'm not against that.
[01:36:18]  Yeah, I don't even eat cows.
[01:36:19]  So like, cow's different.
[01:36:22]  Cow's different.
[01:36:23]  Cow is different.
[01:36:24]  Yeah, no, humans aren't holy.
[01:36:25]  It's extreme.
[01:36:28]  No, that's God, dude.
[01:36:29]  We're all God.
[01:36:30]  Okay.
[01:36:30]  Yeah.
[01:36:32]  It's not just the cows.
[01:36:34]  Okay.
[01:36:34]  Let's, let's, okay, the fourth.
[01:36:36]  Do your parents hate that you're on this podcast?
[01:36:38]  No, my mom fucking loves Andrew.
[01:36:40]  It's so funny.
[01:36:41]  Loves him.
[01:36:42]  Your mom's the best.
[01:36:43]  Talks about him all the time.
[01:36:44]  Text him on Thanksgiving.
[01:36:45]  She does.
[01:36:45]  She does.
[01:36:46]  She's the best.
[01:36:46]  She's the sweetest.
[01:36:47]  His mom is genuinely the sweetest.
[01:36:50]  Listen, Aria, I think you put out a great piece of work, man.
[01:36:52]  I'm super stoked for you.
[01:36:53]  And I'm glad that people are loving it.
[01:36:56]  I'm glad that you were able to create something you were proud of.
[01:36:59]  And then people got to see it.
[01:37:01]  Because I think that's a big barrier.
[01:37:02]  A lot of us want to create things.
[01:37:03]  There isn't a spot for it.
[01:37:04]  And even if we do, we don't know how to get it out to people.
[01:37:06]  And this one, you fucking knocked out of the park.
[01:37:08]  It's nuts the way that you deserved it.
[01:37:10]  Yeah, thank you.
[01:37:10]  I would like to say the one negative is I am now broke.
[01:37:15]  I put too much of my money into this to make it look like haven't people seen it?
[01:37:19]  You're getting people are contributing, right?
[01:37:22]  Because I'm a contributor.
[01:37:23]  I did the Edinburgh model of just like, hey, if you like it, after you've seen it, kick me some cash.
[01:37:27]  Give me a dollar.
[01:37:28]  Yeah.
[01:37:28]  And you can tip on YouTube.
[01:37:29]  You can tip right on YouTube.
[01:37:31]  Yeah.
[01:37:31]  Yeah.
[01:37:31]  So yeah, if you guys want to fucking help me not be broke, be able to afford, you know, I don't know, high-level PeriArt bucket in there.
[01:37:41]  I don't know.
[01:37:41]  Throw more in.
[01:37:42]  Somebody give me $1,000.
[01:37:44]  Really?
[01:37:44]  Oh, it's dope.
[01:37:45]  Oh, I think there's Theovon.
[01:37:49]  But other people have done like 100.
[01:37:51]  Yeah, but go support, man.
[01:37:52]  Go watch it.
[01:37:54]  Just watch it.
[01:37:55]  Share it with your friends on Christmas.
[01:37:56]  Watch it with your friends on Christmas.
[01:37:58]  Yeah, go check it out.
[01:38:00]  And then I'm sure you're going to be touring.
[01:38:01]  And I think that's where I think that's where it comes in.
[01:38:03]  For sure.
[01:38:04]  I'll make my money back that way.
[01:38:05]  And they get to see you.
[01:38:06]  I don't know.
[01:38:07]  I think it's really cool, especially for you and just knowing you.
[01:38:09]  You were the first guy.
[01:38:10]  I don't know if you know this, but like when I was going out to LA.
[01:38:12]  The hole.
[01:38:13]  Even before the hole, I asked you to if you could get me up at the comedy store and you made a call to get me up at the comedy store.
[01:38:19]  When Sue said, I asked you, that could have gone any which way.
[01:38:22]  I knew you.
[01:38:23]  Yeah, I was good.
[01:38:24]  No, you were like, yeah, you got me up at one of those shows at the comedy store, and it was fucking.
[01:38:28]  And this was back before the store was.
[01:38:30]  Yeah, when it was dark.
[01:38:31]  When it was next time I come back, we gotta talk about that.
[01:38:33]  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
[01:38:35]  Rough place, dude.
[01:38:36]  Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[01:38:36]  But it was really cool that you did that, man.
[01:38:38]  And I always appreciate that.
[01:38:39]  And I'm stoked for you, man.
[01:38:41]  This is great.
[01:38:41]  It's great that people that don't know you get to see this version of you.
[01:38:46]  Yeah, yeah.
[01:38:47]  I think that is really good.
[01:38:47]  Instead of like, I don't like this or that.
[01:38:49]  I'm like, well, I'm just a comic.
[01:38:51]  The rest is all promotion shit.
[01:38:52]  Yeah.
[01:38:53]  Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[01:38:54]  Any last thoughts before you get out of here?
[01:38:57]  You know, I never really, this is great.
[01:39:00]  I've never really thought of how shitty smarter people were before.
[01:39:02]  That's right.
[01:39:04]  And so I would like to thank you guys for getting me.
[01:39:06]  Yeah.
[01:39:07]  Look fucking dumb.
[01:39:11]  Overplay.
[01:39:11]  Is there a place you could put them in Israel?
[01:39:13]  Like, is there another place?
[01:39:15]  A ghetto?
[01:39:16]  Just a section.
[01:39:17]  Yeah.
[01:39:17]  Like, is there like a little section we could carve out?
[01:39:19]  Yeah, maybe a third section.
[01:39:20]  Yeah.
[01:39:21]  Nobody's using Palestine.
[01:39:22]  Nobody's using Palestine.
[01:39:24]  Fucking shit with it.
[01:39:25]  Dude, the ideas you have, bro.
[01:39:28]  They're absolutely fucking genius, man.
[01:39:30]  These guys are geniuses, man.
[01:39:32]  Yeah.
[01:39:32]  We appreciate their contributions.
[01:39:36]  See, they're falling in line, man.
[01:39:37]  They're falling in line during last parties.
[01:39:39]  It's all I didn't realize.
[01:39:40]  You were pimping them out, though.
[01:39:41]  That's so crazy.
[01:39:41]  That is kind of crazy.
[01:39:42]  Just making them do your bidding.
[01:39:43]  That is a little bit crazy, dude.
[01:39:45]  They're so tough.
[01:39:45]  I mean, Mark is scared.
[01:39:46]  He's moved further and further away from me on the couch.
[01:39:49]  I'm further partitioning this guy.
[01:39:52]  First time he's touched a black eye.
[01:39:54]  I know.
[01:39:56]  I know.
[01:39:57]  It's like the scene of Beethoven.
[01:39:58]  I got to pick my two fears.
[01:39:59]  I'm like, oh, no.
[01:40:01]  You know, the dog?
[01:40:04]  I ain't seen that.
[01:40:05]  I know the scene.
[01:40:06]  No, you ain't seen that.
[01:40:07]  Goddamn.
[01:40:10]  No, you ain't seen that.
[01:40:14]  You had three seconds of that, and you're like, please nobody call me on it.
[01:40:19]  I haven't seen any movies.
[01:40:20]  I haven't seen any movies.
[01:40:21]  I'm going to watch that one.
[01:40:22]  Guys, Archafir, Jew, not only who he is, but also his fucking special on YouTube.
[01:40:28]  Go watch it right now.
[01:40:29]  I'll be in Vancouver and Seattle.
[01:40:32]  And go to archafir.com.
[01:40:33]  Lots of stuff.
[01:40:33]  ArchieSphere.com.
[01:40:34]  Questionbo.com.
[01:40:35]  Check out his dates.
[01:40:36]  You'll see him at comedy clubs here in New York and the city.
[01:40:38]  But if you want to go check it on the road, be at the beacon first time.
[01:40:42]  Whoa, When is it going on?
[01:40:44]  March 24th.
[01:40:45]  I don't know.
[01:40:45]  I got to get it on sale.
[01:40:46]  March 24th.
[01:40:48]  Yeah.
[01:40:49]  March 24th.
[01:40:50]  We just book it.
[01:40:51]  Unbelievable, dude.
[01:40:52]  The biggest room I played until now is 18 people.
[01:40:56]  So five people.
[01:40:57]  Things are looking up, baby.
[01:40:58]  Things are looking up.
[01:40:59]  Art Safir, make sure you go check it out.
[01:41:01]  Hey, here's a prediction before we leave.
[01:41:02]  Yeah.
[01:41:03]  Within, before 2025, Andrew Schultz will play Madden Square Garden.
[01:41:10]  That'll be sick.
[01:41:11]  And I will be there taking tickets.
[01:41:17]  Peace.