Neal Brennan joins Flagrant to discuss his upcoming special, political views on Trump and Biden, and personal anecdotes ranging from breakup strategies to a traumatic seven-month recovery after a 5-MeO-DMT experience. The conversation explores the efficacy of clitoral techniques, Jamie Foxx's talents, and the cultural desperation for spiritual authority as traditional pillars crumble. Ultimately, Brennan reflects on how psychedelic-induced clarity acts as a mental reset, leaving individuals to navigate an unchecked information landscape without external governance. [Automatically generated summary]
Transcriber: nvidia/parakeet-tdt-0.6b-v2, sat-12l-sm, and large-v3-turbo
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Trump Vote Anxiety00:15:21
What's up everybody?
Welcome to Flagrant.
And today's guest needs absolutely no introduction.
You've seen his brilliant comedy special, Three Mics.
He's released yet another brilliant comedy special, Blocks.
Okay.
Now, it's Neil Brennan in the building.
Hey!
I was doing a little bit of research and your boy Trump is running.
I think he's going to lose.
I just think people, he's going to, I think he'll win the Republican of the primary.
Yeah.
Because I don't, because he's got the people.
Yeah.
He's got, well, he's got a lot of, he's got the people in with him.
He's better at running than everybody else.
He, all he wanted, he just wanted a song and he just wanted handle.
You get a song.
It's the only job where you get a song.
Okay.
Other than like the heavyweight champ or wrestling.
Wait, presidents get a song.
You get the handle of the cheap.
Yeah, that's cool.
He just wanted the trappings.
He barely did the job.
When people go, Joe Biden's not doing it.
This motherfucker never left the residence.
And then when he did, it was to play golf.
Right.
And he wasn't there.
He was working from home before that was a thing.
He was doing remote things.
He's at a trend center.
Yeah, he was doing remote work.
And people judged him.
Yeah.
And now they refuse to go back to the office.
He was just making banana bread.
That's all.
We're all doing it.
That guy.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So I think he'll win the primary and he'll lose the general because I think people that gave him a chance.
I'll get to that in a second.
People that gave him a chance in 16 just got exhausted.
So, and then my next thing is, why is everyone so mad at Joe Biden?
Okay.
Actually, I literally, it baffled.
They did a joke at SNL that Joe Biden, he's like, I'm like plastic straws.
I was great.
And then at a certain point, everybody turns on me.
Yeah.
They treat Joe Biden the way they treat Scotty Pippen, where you're like, what are you fucking mad at Scottie Pippen for?
Half of Scotty Pippen's family is in wheelchairs.
His son just died.
Oh, no.
Scotty Pippen strikes me as clinically depressed.
His ex-wife is smoked out by the business.
And his wife gets smoked out.
And the internet's cheering it.
I'm like, this guy's a great fucking basketball player.
Sorry he didn't want to play that one game.
Yeah.
But people love piling on Scotty Pippen.
He's the white Joe Biden.
What's your take on Joe Biden?
I don't think that people want to admit it, but they love the climate.
So I think that people actually really like, you said earlier with Trump, it got exhausting.
It's not that he was exhausting.
It's just.
He was, but yeah.
And I think he's entertaining.
I think that what he causes exhaustion is because you have to Vince McMahon entertaining, though, which is Vince McMahon did us the, he would be on twice a week, maybe.
And he wasn't on every episode.
Yeah.
And you're saying Trump is on every single day.
Yeah, fucking every day.
And everything you say, you have to react to.
So the great thing about Biden, I think, and I think that nobody will admit this, but because he's checked out, it's okay that we're checked out.
I don't think anyone really wants to be engaged in the political process.
I never, this is a job I never wanted.
I never wanted.
We used to never, I was telling Tom Popper this.
I knew Joe Rogan for 15 years.
I never thought about his politics ever.
Yeah.
It never, I never thought about it.
We want to talk about culture.
That's fun, but politics is just boring.
It's annoying.
And now everybody's like, with Trump, you're like forced to read because you want to be able to discredit that guy.
So whenever the president is like looked at as stupid, it's so nice to feel like you're smarter than the most powerful person in the world.
This was like the George Bush thing.
Like you just got to dunk on this guy.
Yeah.
So I think that we actually secretly love how calm everything is with Biden.
It's like, I don't know who's, I don't know who the governor of New York is.
Like, that's crazy.
I'm a New Yorker.
Yeah.
I don't know who my own governor is.
Yeah.
I didn't vote.
It was Cuomo before.
It was Cuomo.
But he banged his way out.
Yeah.
We don't even know if he got the pussy, bro.
I don't think he did.
I think he was just like shit.
He was like a bad.
You would think that if he actually got fired for something.
He's a real governor.
Yeah.
Yeah.
But if he was a real governor, he would have done.
So the Trump thing is: are people self-aware enough to realize they enjoy the climate?
It's just normal.
It's not on fire all the time.
Exactly.
And I think we did get exhausted with it being on fire.
Now, Trump, the problem is like, you know how looking at your phone or looking at social media you know is bad for you, but it's engaging as hell.
That's the Trump effect, right?
Is that we know when he comes back and he starts saying all these things, we're like, this is bad.
I'm going to have more anxiety.
I'm going to have to learn about fucking abortion rights in every goddamn state so I can have an argument with like my fucking my friend's mom about something stupid.
I'm going to have to know all these things that I really don't care about.
Are we going to be self-aware enough to go, I'm exhausted by this?
Let the dead guy get another four years.
Yeah, fucking absolutely.
He's the can you vote for a dead guy?
Yes.
Yeah.
Yes.
Okay.
Yeah, you can vote for a dead guy.
But shouldn't that be his shouldn't, not his slogan?
No.
But like shouldn't that.
I'm dead.
I'm basically.
But you can be too.
One foot in the grave, literally.
Yeah.
Like, why wouldn't?
Yeah, fucking, I don't, I think, you're right.
People don't.
If you ask me, what's what are you mad at them for?
They're like, inflation.
Look at worldwide inflation.
It's fucking the diet.
It's a bad everywhere.
Yeah.
And, or look at gas prices.
Yeah.
And you weren't mad when he was giving you that fucking money.
Yeah.
Yeah.
You weren't mad when he was giving the money and you weren't mad.
He lowered prescription drug prices, a thing they couldn't do for 30 years.
He's not here.
Okay.
I think he takes not Rillin.
There's another one.
Like, I think he did.
Yeah.
But there's another one that you can take.
He's on methamphetam.
It's methamphetamic.
Yeah.
There's one you can take that's like not jittery and not he's also been a weird numbers thing.
Like that's how I would say numbers.
Oh, millions, billions, trillions.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, like a topic.
Like he just learned numbers.
That's how excited he is when he has to say something.
He's just a weird dude.
Yeah.
He's just like a that guy was weird.
He's been weird.
Yeah.
Like he wrote in a book, his wife died.
And he wrote a biography.
And in the biography, like his wife died, like if it happened.
Yeah.
Right.
But apparently there's, I remember reading a paragraph where he's talking about like how much they fucked.
And it's like, dog, you don't got to tell me all this.
How much they have?
Yeah, yeah.
Like a lot.
Like three or four times.
He's corny.
Like he's like, like Greek people.
Like Greek people.
Yeah.
I mean, wait, exactly like Greek people?
Oh, like, yeah.
Hey, look it up.
Yeah.
Check the evil.
How do you feel about Anal that I've never felt like your arm was longer?
It's like a 3D movie, isn't it?
It's happening.
That thing comes at you.
You got to do it.
I've literally never experienced anything like that.
Yeah.
He's Voldemort.
He's like fucking Uncle Sam.
How do you feel about it?
Like a fucking Ripley's, believe it or not, a loser.
You're like, what?
That's right.
Fucking point.
You brought it up.
Like, how do you feel about it?
As receiving, obviously.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
As a receiver.
I do a joke in the act about having a finger in my butt.
Finally, I've had a couple fingers in my butt.
Two of it.
Two times.
I've never.
No, I don't think so.
Yeah.
I don't ask too many questions.
I just let them, whatever they're going to do.
I've never, it's, whenever it happens, I'm like, nah, I'm not like blown away by this.
Like, I'm not going to build my life around this.
Neil, can I ask you a question?
Go ahead.
You don't strike me as someone who's blown away by anything.
So this that I, no offense taken.
Okay, so how do you know if you like if you're asking me, I if your joy level is like I had, I went to a urologist 18 years ago.
That's how long I've had erectile fucking numbers.
No, I told you the joke that on Chappelle show, we meet, I had an erectile dysfunction and I was like, dude, I can't, because it was so stressful.
No, man, we got uh, it's because we're using laptops.
Like, no, dummy, we're both fucking stressed to our ads.
You're like a week from Africa.
Um, so no, uh, so that, but the urologist.
Where white people go and we're stressed, man.
Yeah.
Say again.
Where white people go and we're stressed.
Yeah.
I know.
I know.
I like Ireland doesn't have the same ring as it's.
Yeah.
There's no motherland.
Where would you go?
You know what?
Germany.
Wink.
Let me cancel.
So I'm not.
I enjoy, and I'll give it a lot on an orgasm, and women like it.
What's that?
I'll go.
I'll like I will vocalize.
Yeah.
Oh, really?
I'm not reward.
Say again?
You're rewarding them.
You're like, this was really good.
No, I'm not doing it for them.
The urologist that I was talking about that I went to, et cetera, he was like, when you're having an orgasm, just really let it all go.
Don't try to.
So now I'm like, no, no, I'm kidding.
But I'm louder than you'd think.
Even I think it's funny.
Why do you have to let it out?
I don't know.
It could have just been his own personal preference.
Looking back.
He's like, we're letting it.
Looking back.
I don't.
Take a ball gag for me.
Send me a hole.
Yeah, yeah.
So, yeah, maybe looking back, it's then you just.
And then since then, I've really gone for it.
Okay, so first orgasm after you got that advice, you really like exhale yoga class.
Yeah, I really went for it.
Well, it's great when a girl's screaming in your ear and you feel like you're.
Sorry, I see that.
I see you.
I see you in the UK.
I'm a friend of Schultz.
I'm a friend of Schultz.
You probably heard a lot about me.
So, so, yeah, like, I'm willing.
Like, it's fun.
It's a fun time.
It's like a reward.
You think they like it when you yell in their ear, though?
They do.
Women always say they don't like it when a guy doesn't vocalize.
Yeah.
So I, I, again, it's not crazy.
It's like, like, there were some like words.
You don't.
I don't, I don't like, I find it, I always find it the writing as a person who knows how to write.
I just find it embarrassing.
I find most dirty talk and sex thing embarrassing.
Like Levine, Adam Levine got popped for like, you're so fucking hot.
Meanwhile, any guy's text, any guy's sex in the history of sex thing is atrocious.
Oh, you think they criticized him for bad sex?
Yeah.
Not trying to get it.
No, that was part of it.
But like they were dunking on him for bad.
I think you missed what was wrong.
I think you're nipped.
Yeah, yeah, I don't know.
I don't know what your sounds.
How do you sound?
I'm not coming.
I'm not doing this.
Does it depend on me?
You guys want to go, like, tell us a joke.
Come on.
Fuck out of here.
I'm literally never going to say this out.
And you guys can act like you're not going to normalize it.
That is it.
That's a mad.
You know it.
I did say, oh, God, why one time?
That was funny.
I did.
It's fucking funny.
Just to be funny.
It does depend on the woman that you're with.
Like, do you tailor it depending on like your?
Yeah, I'll throw on like IDS Mio if she's listening.
Yeah, I'll mix it up.
I'll go regional.
Yeah, that kind of thing.
That's a great question.
So much EOS.
Yeah, exactly.
That makes sense, actually.
No, but you got, or you don't make a noise?
Yeah.
Oh, good.
All done.
All right.
He's not, I don't think he's particularly like sexually aggressive.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
What do you mean?
I'm aggressive.
I'm on my back.
Yeah.
Just because I'm on my back.
Yeah, he says he's a bottom top.
I'm a bottom top.
You like being on your back?
I love being on my back.
Well, I've been doing a joke recently that, like, it's hard work to fuck for a guy.
It's a fucking planks class.
It's a fucking cardio class for however long you're doing it.
And it's women have no appreciation for it because they get on top and they're like, this is hard.
Yeah, no kidding, honey.
I'm going to do a bit more cardio, bro.
That's how I knew I was getting fat.
I was in Italy and I was in a push-up and I had to get down to the elbows, dude.
I'm not saying I can't.
I had to hit down to the elbows because it was too much.
I did a girl's push-up.
Say, I was doing a girls' push-up.
I do.
I'm in decent shape.
Schultz has seen it.
Yeah.
I see Schultz.
The bot is crazy.
Essentially, the top was at one point.
A nude.
The bot is crazy.
That's true.
He still had his blue bubble jacket on.
I've never seen him take that off.
How's the piece?
It's fine.
Not bad.
No complaints.
No complaints.
Yeah.
But what's smooth?
Your dick?
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
But you didn't send me your dick before.
No.
Yeah.
Give it 10.
Okay, dude.
Sorry, man.
Two more of these.
Sorry, bro.
Sorry.
You got the new set.
What did you drop?
$1,300 on this?
Yeah, $1,500, $15,000.
I've been waiting to get that joke out of here.
I'm sure the real price is like $45,000.
$45, what?
Grand.
What do you mean?
$90?
What are we talking about here?
$90 for this?
What is this?
What are we doing right now?
The bill.
What are we doing right now?
You don't want to do this?
What are we doing right now?
$90,000 for this.
Keep going.
Yeah.
Look how many lights alone.
Look out the lights.
Are you the builder?
What's going on?
I was involved in the project, Neil.
The lights.
Can you count the lights, bro?
Oh, is that real stained glass?
Is that the sky?
That's the sky.
That's the sky.
We had to draw a hole through the top floor just to get there.
Wait, look, and make it go a little smaller.
He did it.
He did it.
Okay, good.
Exactly.
You think that's $90,000 right there?
Am I at the Vatican right now?
It feels that way, doesn't it?
Where the fuck am I?
How much was the Vatican?
And adjust for sleep.
Nobody knows.
One over one?
Over 100?
Yes, Neil.
Great.
Congratulations.
Hey, thank you for making me feel bad.
What congrats?
Which block is that?
Oh, boy, oh boy.
He said, aren't you surprised by how fucking expensive shit is?
Isn't it all everything so fucking expensive?
I'm always like, I hate how it's been.
It's new money right now.
No, But it's like, whenever you got to do something like this, it's $1,300.
And now he's like, I thought it was, I literally thought it was $45,000.
Yeah.
Would have been a lot of money.
It's heartbreaking to me that you think that.
That it's only $45,000?
Look at the plants.
Well, I thought they were sponsored.
I thought today's episode was sponsored by Plants.
Enter promo code bottom top or whatever the fuck you called yourself.
Let's move on.
They don't all hit.
It's all right.
Sit down.
They don't all hit it.
I'll let you know when Schultz is giving me weird improv energy.
Listen, I have to do it.
Don't put this on me.
I'll put this to say my studio is 45 grand.
That's a lot of money.
Autistic Jokes and Numbness00:03:44
Even the inflection in your voice made me believe that you didn't believe it.
There we go.
There we go.
I got a lot of people.
Yeah, I got that.
45 grand is a lot.
Would be a lot of money.
It is.
It would be.
Anyhow, so I don't sex.
Now I'm literally asked girls.
By the way, the DMs on this special are so goddamn funny.
Really?
Let's go.
There's some just like, but then a lot of them are like, hey, I think you're autistic.
Hot girl, I click.
Watch the special.
I think you're autistic.
So, are we meeting or not?
They like that.
Emotionally unavailable, intelligent.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's all right.
But it's more diagnosis.
Do you think that you're autistic?
I don't think I am.
We're just numb.
I could go either way.
I think you present as spectrum, but it's actually numb.
It depends how hot the girl is.
I told you that.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
If she says you're autistic and she's really hot, you're like, I'm autistic.
I'm so fucking autistic.
How autistic do you want me to be?
Let's go see a train set.
I don't give a shit.
You got to meet my dinosaurs.
I hope you're like trans.
I'll bring my friends.
Do you watch the show?
Love on the Spectrum.
I haven't watched it enough.
Oh, because there's a guy who loves the dinosaurs.
Oh, that's so funny.
They're so adorable.
They're all so adorable.
I think people love that show.
I've never watched it.
It's the best because you get to laugh with them.
Oh, like they're like sort of like animals.
They're funny.
Yeah.
And their whole family loves them and thinks they're funny.
And they laugh at the funny things that they do.
Somebody told me the funniest story about.
So her brother has Down syndrome and it was his 13th birthday.
And her mom made like a birthday video with Black Eyed P's, Let's Get Retarded.
And the base keeps on.
Like just straight up family video, Let's Get Retarded for their Down syndrome brother's fucking birthday.
And did they?
One of them did.
Excellent.
So you can do it if you're making jokes about it.
You can't have sex with that song, by the way.
That's actually a good note for me.
You know that for a fact.
You learned that the hard one.
What happened?
Yeah.
That's, I knew someone that was conceived to let's get retarded.
Get out of here.
Oh, and they became a famous comedian named Neil Brennan.
Whoa.
Okay.
Okay, whether they don't all hit.
Alex, do you have ever hit him with another?
Okay, so you don't care that Trump is running again.
No.
It doesn't matter.
I just think he's going to lose.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And I think he's going to say it's raised.
People are.
I was reading a thing like just like Frank Lutz did one of those polls where he just asked people.
Yeah.
And he's wrong all the time, but I do like when he just says, what do you guys?
And a guy said, a Trump voter said Trump broke America emotionally.
Yeah.
Which was like a very funny way to put it.
Yeah.
And I also think the constant saying it was stolen and all that shit, it's like only his like his boys could create the crazies believe it.
Yeah.
And the half of them are in jail.
The thing about Trump is you go to jail if you fuck with him.
If you're close enough, like how close to Trump were you?
How much time did you do?
That's the closer you get, the more his fucking lawyer did two years.
Yeah.
It's insane.
His guy's testifying today.
Yeah.
It's like he will bring you down.
So basically it'll be another one of those like we're voting for not Trump elections because you're not really voting for Biden.
You don't know what the fuck Biden is doing.
But you're voting for like normalcy.
Feeling Seen in Relationships00:06:16
And again, I don't, I think there's no engage.
That's what it is.
Yes.
You're two people are voting on, they're voting on charisma, but I think at this point, it's like, let me just, what's the, what's the normal, regular what?
I don't care.
I just know crazy.
Yeah.
It's like once you do after you date like a Puerto Rican girl.
Yeah.
You just go, you know what?
Yeah, it's enough.
A nice white girl gets along with her parents.
Yeah.
You know, yeah, yeah.
That's a day job.
Wait, are you dating right now?
I mean, is there a special girl in your life?
There's no special.
Do you ever hear Hedberg's joke?
No.
I don't have a girlfriend, but I do know a girl who'd be mad to hear me say that.
And that's how you feel?
No, I'm not even that.
I'm not even that.
No one would be mad.
Really?
Yeah.
Okay.
All right.
I'm just saying.
No, no, nothing.
I mean, what are you asking me?
I want to know if you love somebody.
Oh, I don't love.
I did.
Well, I wasn't in love in February and March.
No, I value.
Is that when we met?
We had a little lunch.
You were closing a home.
Your nice little home in Santa Monica.
No, you got that new.
I'm not doing this real estate.
You got that new gym.
That was in the middle.
You got that tiny little home.
That little tiny home.
That little tiny little tiny home.
I got a, no, I was in love February and March.
And she didn't like the intimacy.
Whoa.
Isn't that weird?
She said, get this.
I was the most emotionally available person she'd ever dated and she didn't like it.
You were.
I was.
So I don't know who she was dating.
Oh, that's got to crush you.
No, but I'm very, I didn't mind it because I fought a good fight.
I never, yeah, I was just, I was cool.
I never lost my temper.
I was never like baby-ish.
I never held a grudge.
I was just there.
I was present.
The feeling was amazing.
She like, we fell in love in like four dates where she was like, she actually goes, like, we're fucked.
Really?
She was moving.
She moved.
I think she ended up moving in July.
I don't really know for a fact, but she's supposed to.
So long story short, and then...
Live together?
No, it was two months.
But it was like, was that healthy?
Was like the in and out healthy?
The in I thought was healthy.
The out, well, the out was, do you ever date a girl who is coming up with fake reasons why she doesn't want to date you?
Like where, and you're just like, just say you don't want to date me.
Don't say that I texted too much at dinner.
It was just one of those things.
Like, what?
Yeah, because now she's giving you a complex.
It's like, what?
Yeah.
He's coming up with random shit.
I tell people if I break up with them.
Other than being like, it's your personality.
No, yeah, yeah.
I agree.
But it was, but the heat with which you were saying, I get that.
I never say why if I break up.
I don't think you should tell someone why you're breaking up with them.
Oh, wait.
Why not?
Because it's a personal.
You literally just are like, just say why.
And now you're going to be able to do it.
No, no, I don't give them fake reasons.
I just don't.
I just, it doesn't work for me.
Shit like that.
I think we're, I think, I feel like I don't feel the same way, that type of thing.
You can say that.
Yeah, but say specifically what about the other person you don't like.
I think it's mean because it's specific to me.
Yeah, and that's not going to change.
Yeah.
Like, I don't, I, like, I don't expect, it's like, I don't like your hair.
Some people it's like, I don't like your smell or whatever, like pheromones or like your habits, your job.
Like, I don't know.
I'm not going to make you feel shitty about it because it didn't work for me.
Can I make an observation about that?
I love it.
Okay.
Okay.
You know how oftentimes.
I feel like you just fell in love with me.
No, no, I just, I just, I feel like I'm going to be able to do that.
We got a signal to him.
Look at his pants.
So, yeah, yeah.
Careful now.
So the outside, oftentimes like outsiders make the greatest observations on like their community, right?
We've spoken to this about like some of even the best comedians, right?
Like you look at a guy like Rock, who obviously grew up in Brooklyn, but then was able to go to like private school so he could also reflect on the life that he had in Brooklyn, but reflect on this.
I think it was like, I don't think it was private.
He went to the public.
He got bused to white public.
Oh, white public.
Yeah.
The prime man.
And yeah, I wonder if you have all this, these great observations on humanity because you find yourself oftentimes outside of it.
I would argue that's true.
Yeah.
Somebody, you know, when you have to log on to a website, like a take a website and you have to click I'm not a robot?
Yeah.
I just have to go to another website.
Not that you're a robot, but like you're paying extra attention to the things that people are doing because it might take you a little bit longer to understand those emotional reactions.
I'm really good at pattern recognition.
Yeah.
Crazy good at it.
Like, we're like, I can, like, jokes, like popular jokes I've done that are like just pure pattern recognition where I'm like, eh.
But what I learned in this relationship was, you know, how women want to feel seen?
They don't want to feel that seen.
They want to feel seen to a point.
They want to feel seen in a way like show the face, but then the rest can be well.
No, I'm talking about where you can figure that out.
Yeah, that's cool.
Just right.
I think it's wrong what's happening in Iran.
What I mean is, I think the women are wrong.
The yeah, like I'm good at observing, but I women, I think, want you to notice what they want you to notice.
They don't want you to notice all of their habits or all of their anybody, really.
It's like you know, you guys know shit about each other that you can't believe.
It's like you just know each other so well.
Yeah.
But I think in a relationship, there's a part you almost have to not, you're married.
Like you have to not comment or pay attention or like, yeah, it's funny, like weird emotional habits somebody have.
You just have to go, yep.
Yep.
That's what's happening.
Yeah, yeah.
I want you to see me the way I see myself.
Or like the way I end up.
My narrative self.
Yes.
See me as my narrative self.
Like, you know, I try hard and I'm underappreciated and I'm smart about like all the things that you tell yourself.
Yeah.
But don't see the terrible like neurotic habits I have that make me an awful person.
It's only when you're the person whose opinion I care most about in the world.
Generational House Dynamics00:15:28
Yeah.
If you're my wife, I want you to see me as you know, the person in the hero's journey.
Whatever Joseph Campbell.
Yeah, Joseph Campbell, but Izzy said it, player one style dancer.
He's like, he's like, you're player one in your movie.
And when your wife sees you as not that at all, yeah, that's devastating.
Yeah.
Yeah.
When if your wife, I don't like like, you know, when you start doing open mics and you, you're like, I'm going to bring a girl.
And of course.
Never.
You never brought a girl?
You knew not to.
I didn't even bring my friends, my family.
I didn't want any of them to see me.
Yeah, that's like psychic.
I was so concerned about like losing my status amongst the people that I really loved and cared about as a funny person because I wasn't funny on stage yet.
Like it's such a dumb, insecure thought, but I was like, last year.
Wham.
And my guys.
No, but like, I was like, oh, if they see me being not funny on stage, will they think that I'm not funny in their life?
You know?
Oh, yeah.
And I mean, yeah, it was like, I didn't want them to see it at all.
That's like when a girl won't show you her driver's license because she's like, I look ugly in the picture.
I'm like, I'm looking at you.
I see your actual face.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So you were bringing girls to open mics?
I mean, I wouldn't like.
You were also famous by then, too.
Fucking super.
I couldn't walk down the street.
Why were you doing open mics?
What?
Because famous person.
Let me explain.
I used to remember you coming to people.
People resent me.
Yeah.
For no reason.
Well, there's many reasons.
Yeah, there's a lot.
You'll walk into a very expensive studio, save, you know, $45,000.
That's a lot of money.
Can you do a poll?
Your clothing.
Comment.
Finally, I want your clothing.
They'll resent that.
You know what I mean?
What about it?
Hank?
Say that.
Actually, you're killing it.
Yeah.
But there's always one thing off.
Go.
NBA socks.
These are from Ross Dress for Less.
Does that help?
Oh, shit.
I'm drawing an NBA sock.
I mean, you got like this chic, like tech guy.
But I like that I, you know, keep, I like others.
You're still in the league.
I'm in the league.
I still, I get minutes.
I deserve minutes.
Yeah, yeah.
I deserve some.
We need to get you some bird dogs.
Yeah.
What are those?
You don't know about them?
Give us the socks?
No, these are like the tech bros.
The shoes.
Oh, the bird?
No, these are Pharrell Adidas, but they look like those birds.
Yeah.
Which I don't like.
You're not into the bird dogs?
No, no.
Oh, all birds?
All birds.
That's right.
Bird dog.
Yeah, you go.
So I would go and I remember I brought somebody.
I ate shit.
So, well, first of all, a woman came to this show to blocks when I was doing it off Broadway.
You came, Mark.
Yeah.
Yeah, thank you.
Alex did too.
Oh, right.
I didn't know you were there.
Yeah.
He got there late.
Yeah.
Interesting.
Charge me.
I would have been excited if I knew there was a black person there.
It's me.
I was looking around.
Yeah.
They would always say, like, there are more black people here than normal.
I'm like, yeah, just fucking, it's weird if you go on the breakfast club, look home.
A woman came to literally the worst show I had.
We'd gone out twice and I think we'd slept together maybe.
Never heard from her again.
No.
Yeah, which was fucking hilarious.
I salute you.
No.
Bid that badly.
I mean, it wasn't that bad, but it's not like open mic bombing.
It was just like a bit of a bit of a clanker.
Yeah.
The thing that's on Netflix didn't really work.
Never heard from her again.
I feel like even if you bomb, your ideas are good, so it's interesting.
Right.
Like, I could feel like it's almost like a conversation at like.
She didn't agree with you.
She felt a different way.
Really?
Yes.
She didn't even think.
I literally haven't heard from her.
What about at the end when you move the bomb?
Oh, what?
That's a surprise.
Yeah.
But we want, okay, there's something at the end retention.
There's a Marvel preview.
Yeah.
How certain are you that that's really funny?
You came.
This is so funny.
This is this shows like a little bit of like a generational thing.
You came in earlier to the studio and you're like, you know, it's really interesting.
Like Netflix called me and they're like, people are watching it to the end, right?
Yeah.
And then immediately Mark and I are like, oh, well, yeah, you have a really good device for attention and there's different blocks they want to see, whatever.
And you're like, oh, yeah, I could see how that you like by accident created a really good thing.
Did you notice that?
Did you know that you completely by accident?
I think you were ever punched Schultz.
45, I know.
Use that.
Use that.
45 grand.
Call Jake Paul.
I'm going to fight Schultz.
And I'm, yeah, I'm going to get on top.
Hey.
No, that was part of it.
Because I knew, yeah, I knew that there's really no incentive to.
I remember having a conversation with Mulaney two specials ago for him.
I go, Are you going to, are you closing with buy the cow?
That was his like great bit.
Like, why don't people go, why do you, why would you buy the cow when you get the milk for free?
And he's like, well, because the cow is putting a lot of pressure on you and all this stuff.
It was about his ex-wife.
No.
But, and I said, are you going to close with it?
And he goes, no, I'm putting it like third.
Yeah.
And I was like why?
And he goes, because people turn these things off.
So I was thinking of a thing, like an ongoing little narrative throughout the show that people could follow.
Yeah.
So it wasn't, you're not going to believe this.
I thought of it before you.
Before you and Mark told me about it in the rec room.
Cut that.
I thought of it.
Yeah, cut that.
But you inspired him to think of this.
Yeah, we inspired you.
It was an inception thing.
Do you see Andrews your muse?
Yeah.
I will say what Andrew is for me.
And this is Schultz was one of the only Schultz is like a Gerard Carmichael, but he'll pick up the phone.
Schultz is like a Gerard Carmichael who will respond to your text.
I used to look at Gerard.
Yeah, there you go.
He's he has to keep coming out.
I like your, you guys did that joke about him like second time he came up, the is no, you're helpful with like, you're younger.
I literally didn't see him come out the first time.
So it was the first time to me, and then you guys said that he came out.
He'd already come out of the reference club.
Is that how you're going to tell me?
Straight up, that's what I'm trying to give you credit for something.
You're insults.
Now you're like, I don't want it, boss.
You're like a young person to me, even though you're not actually young.
Sure.
You're like more.
You were like, we got to talk about your social media.
And it was helpful.
Yeah.
And it's been great, by the way.
Thank you.
Yeah.
Because you always had jokes.
Yeah.
That's never been the actual jokes.
What's the vehicle?
Yeah.
Like, how do you put them in a way where people can digest them?
And you had all these like great bits.
And I'm, and what I like about you is that like you're like a real, I don't want to insult and non-comedians, but like you're like a real comedian and that like I can speak to you in a way that it's not going to be sensitive.
Like there's certain people like I have to be very delicate.
I was talking to some like comics and they're like, why are you wasting?
I think the first message was like, why would you waste this?
Well, that's what people, I talk like that.
Yeah.
And people get offended.
And I was talking to like people in their 20s comics and they were like, no one ever talks to us like this.
I was like, because they're like, we can't take it.
You've had enough ego deaths, I think, that you can't hurt his ego.
Yeah.
You can't kill what's dead.
You know what I mean?
Ego death is a bit of a dude.
I've been so, I'm dead.
I've been dead for so long.
I've also gotten hummed by show business.
So I'm just like, yeah, okay.
Yeah.
Yeah, cool.
Like, I don't, whatever, I don't expect anything good to happen.
So when somebody, and also no one ever offers me tips, and I'm constantly offering people tips.
Yeah.
I reach out.
No, that's what I'm saying.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Like a white, you're like a white girat who picks up the phone.
Yeah.
I'm curious.
Did Mulaney know you were going to make the joke about him in the special?
Yes.
He came.
He'd seen it.
Yeah.
And he was a bit like, when he saw it, I did Cosby, Louie, Allie Wong, because it's about comedians getting divorced.
Yeah.
Mulaney.
Yeah.
And so when he watched, I sent him a link and he was like, did I, was it Cosby, Louie, me when I saw it?
And I was like, no, Allie was in there.
And I was like, and I bet it's hard.
I bet it's hard to hear that.
But it's so wrestling-y.
Like, I literally like, I got one more.
Yeah.
And you guys give it to me straight.
Mulaney.
Ah.
And they're like, oh my God.
You know, it's like a funny moment.
But I think he was like, I'm sure it was like, I'm sure he like flinches a little.
Yeah.
Just because who wants to hear your divorce brought up before?
Yeah.
Such a great friend.
I mean, I wanted to get the word out.
His whole act is about fucking his turmoil.
Neil, you don't want every time we have lunch.
You remind me that you're not going to have children.
Yep.
And I'm curious what your observation is.
I want you to.
I want you to, but I'm curious, one, what your observation is on people with kids and what changes.
Here's what I'll say.
Yeah.
Everyone I know who has kids fucking loves it.
Yeah.
If we're talking about Mulaney robe, like Mulaney fucking loves having a kid.
People I wouldn't think would think.
This is not Mulaney, but like the people who maybe are like the most selfish or narcissistic all of a sudden are like starting to live for something else you never thought.
Jerry Seinfeld said he fucking loves having like in a way that's like really surprising.
He said it opens up a part of your brain that you didn't know existed as a guy.
It just like I love like a like a like a hard drive that you didn't you have to put it in computer terms for me.
A hard drive you said.
Like a J9460.
And I just made that up.
Okay.
It's so hard to sound like a hard drive.
Alex, I'm letting him go.
Come on.
You can push through this.
Come on now.
You got it, bro.
It would have been fine if you hadn't.
The only one who's actually bombed was him.
Stop it.
Don't do this.
Don't do this.
You had some good ones.
Don't do that in.
Don't do that in.
You're a nice guy.
You're a nice guy.
What do you think is it's the knee touch?
It's the knee touch.
Look, we all crazy about you.
Look, I love a lot of the stuff you're saying.
That's what it feels like to have a kid.
You know that, Neil?
You get to touch my leg.
Give me advice.
Yeah.
I just don't want to do it.
But I, but like, people that who I consider myself somewhat temperamentally similar to, yeah, love it.
So, so there is a part of me that's like, ah, it could, but I just, the thing I talk about in the show, which is if I don't make the emotional connection, then I'm fucking the kid.
I'm not fucking myself.
Because as a dad, you just go like, oh, I hate it.
I'm fucking them over.
Yeah, yeah.
You just go like, eh, it's fine.
I'll send them to school.
Yeah, you can throw money at it.
You can throw like, what do you need?
Yeah.
Hello, hey, FaceTime.
So, so did those parents that we all know, do they just not have that connection?
Because you're in Hollywood.
You see a lot of these parents who.
Oh, no, but I know.
Well, I don't.
Oh, the like the real narcissist.
Does dads also have that hard drive put in?
I don't think so.
They don't.
My guess is they don't.
My guess is they think they like kind of do.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
But I don't think they really do.
Because you have the in the in the show, and I don't want to give it away, but you have this great bit about uh your relationship with dogs.
Yes, just dogs in general, it's fine, which is like a fine relationship, yeah.
But yeah, yeah, exactly.
Are you concerned that will happen with yeah, yeah, so yeah, so it makes sense that you wouldn't want to engage in that thing because, God forbid, you loved well.
What is your relationship with your parents like?
Because I just went to my mom's house and it's like, and my sister's there, and it's and my nephew, and it's kind of like, uh, it's like, it's just small talking.
Literally, it's like you got there and it's like, how was traffic?
What do you do?
What's the special coming up?
I mean, there's no wrong.
Nothing.
It is a desert.
It's just, well, are you?
I just love you because you'll exist in the conversation and at the exact same time be like analyzing what's happening, even like with your family.
With my mother.
With your mother.
You're not just.
Now, having said that, I feel my mom's old.
So like I really, she showed, she's moving.
Yeah.
She, we went to her house.
It was sweet.
She showed me her, like, it was cute.
And like, I felt real.
And this ain't bullshit.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I mean, I'm sure it sounds like.
That's what it feels like.
Yeah, maybe.
But so I did feel connected.
And I do feel like she's 88.
So it's like, you know, there's probably not a ton of years left.
Yeah.
So, so because I, there's not a ton of years because I'm going to kill myself.
Long before she's going to be.
So there's not that like feeling, I guess some people describe when they go back home, like there's this, there's this comfort, there's this ease.
You know, these people love you unconditionally.
And because of that, you can kind of be able to do it.
I don't exactly get that.
I actually do get it with her, but I don't, but like the house itself is like where I grew up.
My dad was a little bit of a drink.
You got a little trauma.
Yeah.
A little, yeah.
Nieces and nephews, right?
I have a lot of, how do you feel about them?
I like them.
And I, and I, uh, I like, I love, again, I like some of my brothers and sisters too.
Yeah.
Some.
But I like them because my brothers and sisters were actually like good to me because I was the youngest.
So they'd take me to like, I went to like, my brother worked at Wrigley Field and the Chicago Stadium.
So I went to like a hundred Cubs games.
Yeah.
Like no ticket, walk in.
I used to go to Bulls games.
I saw Michael Jordan get missed.
It was so long ago.
Michael Jordan got mistaken for someone else.
That's how long ago this was.
A little white girl goes, are you Orlando Woolridge?
And he made that face.
Like, you little motherfucker.
Like Orlando Woolridge.
It was his second year, but he got hurt in the first year, whatever.
So, so I used to go to Bulls games.
And my brother, Kevin's a comedian.
So I used to come here all the time and like got into, would go to comedy clubs when I was in high school.
So like, I'm grateful to them.
So if the, if my nieces need tickets for Dave or John Mayer or like guys I know, it's a joy to get them tickets because they did it.
Their parents did it for me.
So like I like that you like making them happy.
I like reciprocating.
I like being like, you know.
And you don't feel like that's a proxy for what your kids would feel like too?
A lot of Dave Chappelle tickets?
Why'd you guys stop doing that show?
I know.
He's so funny.
Nicotine Breakers and Dates00:04:23
So yeah, it might be, but I just don't want to risk it.
Yeah.
Yeah, that makes sense.
So that's cool.
So you see that people have kids and then this different part of them is accessed.
I think the kind of love you have with a kid is you literally cannot get with someone who's not your kid.
Very, very Greek.
Very Greek.
Very Greek.
You're afraid, though, that you maybe wouldn't have that.
And not having that would be, what, devastating?
It would confirm that.
Well, I just think it would be a bad, it'd be bad for the kid.
And I don't think they know it, but I feel like you could fake it.
Like, I couldn't.
I would do the job.
I could.
But again, I could also, like I said in the show, I could be a good Marine.
I know, I just don't want to be a Marine.
Like, I don't, like, I could fake it, but I never, I get real pissy about my time.
And it's like, I just like my little, I like my, my dinosaurs.
Yeah.
You know how I like it.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And yeah.
I'm curious.
Do your other siblings in the lineup, depending on age, how much did that impact how much they wanted to have kids or like where they took their lives?
Joey, Sheila, Tommy, Mary.
A lot of the older ones, all most of all of them have kids except they're the ones that don't, three out of the bottom five don't.
So good question.
I'm six of seven, so I'm always curious.
Okay.
My parents had seven kids.
I'm number six, so almost the youngest.
But you, you want children.
Yeah, of course.
Yeah.
I'm very excited.
But have my parents had three more kids.
Maybe that's fucking worse.
Yeah.
It's so bad.
And it's the sperm is bad.
It doesn't taste good.
So, so yeah.
So did you get cauterized?
Did you get a, what is it called?
Zapped up.
Nah.
What is it called?
Cauterized, right?
A sesame.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Thank you.
The judges.
The judges weighed in.
No.
No.
Okay, so it could happen.
I mean, look, anything's possible.
Yeah.
But not likely.
Yeah.
All right, guys, we take a break for a second.
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Now, let's get back to this.
Also, guys, I need to tell you about some dates I got.
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And January 14th, super excited about this.
I'm going to be at the Wilbur Theater.
We will sell these tickets out.
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And January 21st and 22nd, I'm going to be in Vegas.
I'm not supposed to announce that, but I'm going to do it anyway.
Who cares?
Get your tickets at akashing.com.
Now, let's get back to the show.
Do you play with clitorises?
Ray Charles Tour Plans00:15:10
That's what dinosaur is that.
Yeah.
Because he has.
Yeah, I will play with clitoris.
You will play with it.
Did you watch the orgasm documentary?
No.
Orgasm Inc. on Netflix?
No.
It's the whole, they had a whole like group, basically.
Tim Ferris went to it and wrote about it in one of his books.
Oh, wow.
Where the most sensitive part of the clitoris is like upper.
This is.
That's a clitoris, Neil.
I deal with giant clitted women.
Yeah.
So this is the clitoris.
I'm looking at her.
So the most sensitive part is here.
Yeah, yeah.
So this, it was called One Touch, and they would just rub that part.
And they said the pressure should be like turning the page on a book, which you've probably never done.
Yeah, I don't know.
I don't know.
But turning the page on the book for 15 minutes straight.
You have to rub it for 15 minutes.
And you believe that they need to.
There was a whole group.
In order to do that.
And it was like effective.
And would you do that?
I've never done it, but it's good information to have.
Yeah.
I see, I see.
Yo, you call her a robot.
That's a robot shit, right?
I downloaded the software up there, but.
Okay.
I need the answer.
Look, you guys, this guy's fucking his way to robot heaven.
I don't know what that means.
I couldn't.
Once I was in it, this robot, I don't even know what to say.
But it was like it had a spirit to it.
You know what I mean?
Yeah.
Yeah, you get it.
Not only don't cut it, repeat it.
Yeah.
Do a picture in picture.
It's good info.
I think a lot of pleasing a woman.
Are you a munch?
I know.
Are you trying to hit me with like the cool new terms?
And I go, yeah, I'm a munch.
And everybody laughs at the fat kid.
No.
No.
But are you not?
But are you?
I'm not playing this game.
No, are you a munch?
I'm not.
Yeah, let me do my orgasm noise for you guys.
That's what I've been waiting for this whole time.
Munch is a guy who eats pussy.
Yeah, yeah.
Of course.
The rapper Ice Spice.
You thought I was feeling you?
I know that these are, I know Nicki Minaj is involved.
I see that I just don't click on it.
I know that there's, I know the information.
Just getting the point, I liked it when that guy called you out on saying mid.
That was very good.
That was great.
Porno, yeah.
I couldn't remember his name.
I think going.
It was amazing that you were able to find a moment where I looked like you look right now and immediately throw it back out at me.
Like your brain was operating unbelievable speed.
I'm talking, I'm touching knees, and I'm fucking being defensive at the same time.
You can't believe you wouldn't last a minute in here.
Pleasing woman is a bit like a escape room where you're just trying like here, no, huh?
Flipping keyboards and like over here.
Is this hotter, warmer, pushing against no, flipping?
So, yeah.
So what?
But it gets easier once you've been in the same escape room over and over, right?
Are you in the same escape room?
It's a wedding ring, dogs.
You seen one of these before?
Does it take your heart rate and everything?
No, I don't know.
Is that a lifestyle?
It's a whoop.
It's a whoop wedding ring.
Yeah, my sleep, terrible.
How's your blood oxygen level?
Anyhow.
Oh, yeah.
It's not now, right?
Is that your girlfriend?
No, that's my lady.
That's my wife.
The, yeah.
So, so.
Will you ever negotiate?
Like, when a girl's like, I kind of like when my clit is played with like this.
Are you ever like, well, it's better?
No, I like, I think that you should.
You're like being corrected?
Because corrected.
Like, you're doing your thing knowing that it's 15 minutes of just.
I don't do 15 minutes of that.
Oh, no, that works.
No, no.
I just wouldn't.
It's just not a fact.
It's not a good use of my time.
I got shit I got to do.
What?
They're doing Morse code?
Yeah, I got to fucking update the fucking operating system.
The, yeah, I don't mind a note.
So help.
I mean, it's your, it's all, it's all, it has to be, you know, specified.
Yeah, for them.
They're all generally the same, but then some will have shit that's like, oh, I wouldn't have done that.
At all.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Because there's sometimes, you know, little maybe traumas built in.
It's not even traumas.
It's just some of them, if they use toys too much, you got to really go out.
Yeah.
You got to go out.
I'm about watching the porn during it.
Have you ever had one of those?
Not.
It wasn't.
I know.
No.
Do you guys listen to music?
Neil, I'm going to walk off this fucking box.
Neil?
When it's Neil, right?
Okay, when we're talking about fucking music.
I thought that you were just having that.
Do you like this music?
Yeah.
Have you guys heard of Stevie Wonder?
I got a guy Stevie Wonder.
The music's not great, but he's blind.
So you feel good when you listen to it.
No, a girl got mad at me for listening to music when we were having it.
She was like, I've never listened to music before.
I was like, what?
Was Ray Charles blind too?
He was.
So how the fuck did you know he was in Georgia?
It's been sitting on that premise for 10 years.
I mean, it just came to me right now.
Terrible.
We've empowered him too much.
We didn't empowered him too.
How did you do this?
Cop him up, Alex.
What's your population?
I was going to take a picture of his feet.
We on the wood.
Because he's so excited to be sitting this close to the court.
I like that.
Don't do that.
The yeah, so yeah, the girl got on me about that.
Ray Charles, you saw the movie, right, right?
With a hole in the wrist to see if they're fat.
Well, yeah, but I also like, you're like, this is an amazing performance.
And then he takes it off.
You're like, oh, it's just Jamie Foxx.
Yeah.
Doing an impression.
Yeah.
But before that, it's like a real movie.
But I was like, oh, it's like, yeah, but Jamie's also the most talented human being ever.
I totally agree.
Yeah.
Like, unbelievable.
Unbelievable.
He's so talented that when he plays Stevie Wonder, or he plays Ray Charles Ray Charles.
He plays Ray Charles.
You're kind of like, oh, I like Stevie better.
You know what I mean?
Wait, you like Stevie?
I'm sorry.
You like.
He's a very confusing animal.
Yeah, who am I?
Yeah, You're Alex, aren't you?
Al, take up, or Forever Hold you.
They all want the same.
I don't know, dude.
They're so silly.
How do you know?
Hashtag thoughtful races.
But no, I like Jamie better than Ray Charles.
I'm like, oh, I like Jamie's music better.
Yeah.
So you see him as an actor and you're like, yeah, I wish the movie was just about him.
Was about him doing his songs.
Yeah, right.
I don't think anybody feels it.
Yeah, I don't know.
I think Jamie is undeniably the most talented human being.
Yeah.
It's crazy.
Does impressions.
He does funny walking impressions.
He literally does an impression of OJ's walk that will fucking kill you.
Where'd you see this?
He did in one of specials.
He just does an OJ Walking Reservation.
You're like, how the fuck do you have an OJ Walker?
It's unbelievable.
It's unbelievable.
Fantastic.
Jamie Foxx, God bless.
Friends?
No.
Really?
I don't know him.
I've met him a couple of years.
You've never met?
I'll see him sometimes.
I think he thinks me and Dave have beef, so he's always a little like wary.
Do people still think that?
Some guys, yeah.
Cat Williams thought me and Dave had beef, and I was like, No.
Alex thought.
Maybe it's black people think that you and Dave had beef.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, it's fine.
Maybe they know something I don't.
Yeah.
No, but so he thought.
Did you tell the story about you said go back to Africa and then he fucking did it?
Can you tell that story once and for all?
All right.
I've told it so many times.
You never think they're going to do it.
So yeah, so Jamie's excellent.
Ray Charles, you fucking Clitotaurus's.
And who were you married to?
You're young, right?
Yeah, I'm 26.
Why'd you get married so young?
Because you're from Florida?
Because I'm from Florida.
That's kind of part of it.
Part of it.
I also met a woman that I loved that I was like, oh, yeah, this is great.
And this is very stable.
And my life is good.
So I'll just keep this going.
And what does she do for work?
She's a midwife.
So she delivers babies.
Jew babies only.
Yeah.
Really?
Specifically.
Pasidic Jew babies.
Yeah.
So she's getting in early for you.
Yeah.
Don't forget about them.
Whatever happens, we'll be good.
Why it's like orthodox?
Yeah, yeah.
Got it.
And I know a lot about Jewish people.
Wait, do you?
No, I just know just from Elon Gold, the comedian.
Oh, I love him.
Yeah, he just he's like, he's reformed.
He's something.
Have you ever seen Elon?
Okay, so there's like a Jewish circuit as well for everybody who does no clue about this.
And there's a few guys who are like the kings of that circus, like Modi and Elon.
Modi and Elon, yeah.
And have you ever seen them do a show for all Jewish audience?
Crush.
You've seen it.
Yeah.
I want to go.
I'll either.
He does a Christmas Eve show in LA and it's all Jewish people.
And it's harder.
It's the hardest room ever.
He's like, because all Jewish people think they're funny.
So they're all like, all right.
Like they're, they all think they're that they're the funny ones in there.
So like they're watching going like, nah, you've seen better.
Oh, really?
Yeah.
So it's not like a crush.
They do.
He does.
You ever see a guy who speaks Spanish crush in front?
I remember I took my buddy Bijan the editor.
Shout out to Bijan, Editor Spell Show.
All my specials burst, but he's excellent.
Oh, by the way, I loved on your special how you all took editing credit.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Like, no, I got in on that.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Excellent.
Great.
One minute per day.
What do you mean?
Long took one day per minute.
Really?
Yeah.
Why?
Because he loaded everything.
Everything is intentional.
Every little thing.
I don't think you load it.
It shouldn't take that long.
I mean, I would love it not to, but it was really specific.
All right.
Yeah.
But, but Bijan came to a show Dave was doing and Fluffy, Gabe Iglesias was on.
And Fluffy did a punchline in Spanish at an amphitheater in the Bay Area.
Yeah.
And my buddy looked at me and was like, he said something, couldn't hear him because the screaming was so, but I'm assuming that's what I've seen Elon crush like that with like a Yiddish reference and I have no idea what they're talking about.
Yeah.
But I like that.
I like seeing like comedians in front of their the audience that has their knowledge base as well.
Yeah.
Right.
So like a lot of times it's fun like when we work these bits out of clubs like yeah, they're strangers.
They might not know who we are and it makes our tongue really sharp and makes the jokes really great.
But then taking those great jokes and putting them in front of the people that know like 90% of the things you know so you know everything's sticking.
Like I remember even seeing like George Lopez's special back in the day.
And it's just, and that's what, that's what Chris's was.
Bringing the pain.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Like it was this, yeah, you get those magical moments where the audience and comedian, same page, and just eruptive.
Yeah.
And it's like on Bring the Pain, the camera shakes.
I love that.
I love that.
You told me that.
From the, it's fucking crazy.
Yeah.
It's like Shea Stadium used to fucking move a little bit.
And it was like, why is this moving?
Yeah.
Because it was because you're, because they're crushing so hard.
We were talking about this before, the pod, but like Chris doing the special live.
Yeah.
Right.
And Hasrox doing a live Netflix special.
Right.
So his next show.
Yeah, they're going to, it's going to be live.
And like, it's a tricky situation.
One, it creates the urgency, which I'm sure that's the idea, which is, oh, shit, anything could happen.
We got to watch this live, which I'm sure Netflix is trying to do right now.
It's like the toughest thing for them is anything to watch, right?
Yeah.
Outside of like word of mouth, like if people, if people start talking, I mean, all right.
I was messaging Robbie about this actually, and I was like, yo, just tell your fucking boss, allow people to screenshot.
You can't screenshot no.
No, so you can't meme it.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And it's like, this is the simplest thing.
Screenshot.
Yeah.
It's like, I think it was Mr. Beast was on the pod.
He's like, or maybe he texted me, but he's like, the only reason anybody knows Mandalorian is because Baby Yoda was every meme for six months.
And that's the biggest PR push you could possibly get.
And Netflix doesn't allow that.
It's just let the fucking thing.
Well, you can take a picture of your screen.
But that's a pain in the ass.
Like the Dahmer show, as big as that was, that would be every fucking.
Yeah, most people watch on their phone.
Exactly.
Yeah.
100%.
So, yeah.
So I'm curious.
Okay.
So they're trying to create some urgency.
But as a matter of fact.
I'd love for them to take your advice in piracy fucking skyrockets.
Yeah.
But I'm telling you, it's worth it.
Tell your boss, it's all going to pay off.
I just tanked Netflix.
Yeah, yeah.
But yeah, I'm like, I think it's super ballsy to do.
And I'm, I'm like, for example, to your point, he doesn't have a minute a day to edit it.
That's a good point.
Fuck.
So it's not editing.
So it's not, it's a live cut.
I would assume the guy's directing this guy named Marty Colner who's done a ton of live stuff.
But he should also do Chris's show.
He'll do.
Yeah, no, he'll, I'm sure they'll recut it.
No, no, I mean, like, he should go to Chris's shows with more or less the same cameras set up so he knows where to push in on certain jokes.
I'm sure he will.
Okay.
Like, by the way, have you seen Kevin Hart's show?
Kevin Hart's showin' show that he's doing?
No.
He has he's got six cameras.
Yeah.
But he has like, he knows, they know where to cut.
This is fucking what we wanted to do.
Yeah.
They know when to cut, and you just have to rehearse it twice.
So we did a, we went to BTS, right?
Yeah.
Do you know that Korean pop band, right?
Do I?
And the point was, like, how do you entertain a stadium of people?
How do you keep them locked in?
Right.
And it's exactly what they did.
The whole thing is choreographed to the cameras and the whole thing plays out on the screens.
Yeah.
Kevin has push-ins.
Yeah.
That's, and you just got to know where the bits are.
Yeah.
He does it every shit's in his hand.
They cut to it.
So he's like, got his, it's a, and I was like, yeah, he's like, yeah.
Yeah, it's smart.
Yeah.
Like, it's he rehearsing.
Yeah.
And you need to for a place that size.
Yeah.
We had, we had Huberman on.
Do you know Dr. Huberman?
I know the name.
Yeah, you've probably seen stuff.
He's a neurologist and he's got all this stuff.
He's the one that's telling everybody you got to get sunlight first thing in the morning.
Oh, I've seen, yeah, I think I followed him recently.
Brilliant, dude.
And we were asking him just like just about story in general.
Concert Stories and Shame00:08:19
Like I'm kind of obsessed with story.
And he goes, so here's the thing.
I don't know why stories are so impactful, but I will know one thing.
I do know one thing.
They've done tests on stories where they'll like have entire groups watch a story or listen to a story.
And all I can tell you is the data shows that the entire group is having the same emotional upticks at the same exact time while they're watching the story.
And that's different than just giving a speech with a premise or whatever.
When something is built into story, the same emotional reaction is happening at the same time.
And I think that's what music does too.
Music, like I score the end of my closing monologue is there's music under it and it just makes it more effective.
James Blake is a friend of mine made, gave me a song and it makes it way better.
I mean, that's the trick with me.
You can trick an audience with music and make it seem like, but it is very, you can almost cue where they're going to cry.
It's a trick.
It's like you can cue them.
It's not, yeah, it's not, but, but the, you think that there should be that, like a camera in the, is it about the camera work?
Well, what they did is the, the whole show is choreographed.
So you really watch the show on these massive screens behind, and it creates that intimacy that you don't have when you're back here.
Now, music has that reaction baked in when a song is crescendo and everybody's feeling it.
Well, you ever go to a concert and you're like, these motherfuckers, like the responses they get is crazy.
Lights out.
It's crazy.
There's like a vocabulary.
People know what to do.
I say what city I'm in.
You guys all cheer.
I mentioned I bring out a special guest.
You know, if you don't care, you cheer, like, just all like, it's all tricks.
Yeah.
And people are really into it in a way that's completely outsize from what we get because people, because music goes to a different part of people.
Yeah.
Like a crazy, an unconscious part of it, nonverbal.
But I think story taps into a little bit of that.
Absolutely.
And I think that's why, like, and I'm sure you've noticed this, when you're in a big venue doing jokes, there are certain jokes that you have that are stories.
There's certain jokes that you have are like, you know, premise, you know, stage, punchline, right?
The story holds attention in a way.
Right.
Like you create that information gap and the audience, doesn't matter how many of them are there, they're like, wait a minute, where's he going with this?
What's going to happen here?
I need to know exactly what's going to happen.
They're leaning in just like you do.
Whereas like with the premise, it's like, okay, you might trick me or this is interesting, but I don't need to know.
I know what kind of, I know what genre I'm in, and it's going to be over quickly.
So I can just check out.
Yeah.
And it's no surprise to me.
I think you even pointed that out.
Maybe it was the other day, which is like you look at guys like Kevin who are storytellers and they can hold that space.
Or Dave.
It's like Dave.
Storyteller.
I mean, he had storytelling cues when we were 19.
Your fucking Mark Twain thing.
Yeah.
Right?
Yeah.
There's a story that you're telling it and you feel it, right?
You feel the whole room on the same exact page.
Yeah.
It's kind of a special.
It's great.
It's amazing.
I mean, do you tell any stories?
The thing at the end, the Netflix story is like, I sit down.
You sit down a lot where it's like, I don't have, I mean, I have like storytelling cues just from telling stories to people, but like Snoop's really good at telling stories.
Yeah, yeah.
We're going like, all right, now watch this.
Did it just like little fucking flourishes?
And it's fun.
It's a different, you can hear a pin drop.
Yeah.
Because people are like, and then so-and-so comes.
Like, it's great.
Yeah.
It's a different thing.
Which is what you need when you get into these big venues.
You need everybody's attention held because it's so easy to be distracted.
You know, like we were watching, we were in a big venue the other day.
We were watching someone and you could hear people start to have conversations and there's no fucking usher to tell them to shut up.
Yeah.
You can't even hear them.
They're so fucking far away.
So it's like, how do you, how do you make them talking feel inconvenient to the people around them?
You could be at an arena show and if your tickets are not good, it's almost like the TV is on and it's playing Kev or whoever you go a comic who does arenas.
I think you're right to include that.
Dave had a good observation a long time ago, which is he would put himself in every premise.
Yes.
It's not like, did you see what's happening at the grocery store?
Yeah.
Sebastian's really good at that too.
Louis too.
Yeah.
Yeah.
He's like where you go.
I went to the store.
Yeah.
He said to me, it's, and it's like, it just makes it more.
It becomes, yeah, it becomes that story, that experience.
You need to see what fucking happens.
In an arena, you're right.
You do have to.
I mean, I'm like, mine, if I, if another, when I do another special, I'm going to have more video than I, than, than has been classically acceptable.
Really?
There's no downside.
Yeah.
I mean, the video in this one's crazy and informative.
Yeah.
But I don't know.
Like, there was a cut I did where like when I talk about dogs, I cut to my dog.
Yeah.
Just for like three seconds.
Yeah.
But if I, you do it with everything, you could almost do it.
I mean, I get ideas where it's like I would front load it and then talk, whatever.
But like, but I don't, the idea of doing a stand-up special that's just me on stage talking is just a little feels like passe.
Yeah.
It just feels like, yeah, what do some, you can do more.
You can just do more than that than just like me than I.
And I don't like shows where they cut to the, they did, they tried a couple of them where they cut to like illustrations of just the joke coming out.
Yeah, which is like it needs still needs to be like theater of the mind.
Yeah.
But you can soup it a little.
I mean, show it.
I mean, use the media if you have it.
Yeah.
100%.
And if it aids the joke in any way, I think that's great, especially if it's like this real story.
I mean, what's it called?
Salmonaj has had a lot of success for sure.
For sure.
Right?
Yeah.
Yeah.
I think that sometimes like comics, we're so worried about like what other comics will think that.
Oh, I believe that there were, there was a class of comics that worked the seller who refused to move on stage because it was like he walked.
Yeah.
How dare he?
He like did act outs like queer.
Like it was just a bad habit.
Yeah.
That we all get like shame.
We shame each other for like the game can't evolve.
Yeah.
And sometimes you suggest things, you try things and they suck and we all make fun of ourselves for it.
It is what the fuck it is.
Yeah.
But sometimes, did we just walk, Mark?
Yeah, I'm out.
We just walk, Mark.
No, I'm going to walk on stage if I want to, okay?
But like, but yeah, having that, I don't know, having that extra gear.
That's why I think it's cool what you're doing because all these things exist.
Like when I tried to tell people about the show, I'm like, yeah, you have to understand.
It's just, it's great stand-up throughout.
Like you could be on stage at a theater just doing your hour with no blocks.
I did.
I did it.
That's how you organizes.
Yeah.
You know what I mean?
Yeah.
So, yeah.
So for me, when I'm looking at like, and I always explain this to people, it's like the hour has to kill in the beginning.
Yeah.
We can add the antics and fun for the audience after the hour murders.
Yeah.
This other stuff isn't covering up the fact that it's not.
It's elevating.
Yeah, exactly.
Yeah.
It makes it more of like transcendence a big word, but like just make it as good as you fucking can.
Just as use every weapon you have.
Yes.
To make it because people can watch everything that's ever been recorded now.
Fucking everything.
So if I can do more than just stand there.
It's the thing I've said on other podcasts, but Eddie Murphy told Chris, the reason Chris paces is because Eddie Murphy told Chris, if you stay in one place, the audience knows where you are.
So they don't even have to look at you.
They can just look at their phone.
I mean, this is before phones, but it used to be their drink or whatever.
But if you're pacing, there's like the just the human dynamic of, is this person going to fuck with me?
Yeah.
So you have to watch.
Yeah.
What I think you should do is get one of those little buddy things because you like to sit out, right?
In a smaller space, yeah.
In a bigger space, I like to fill the room a bit.
World Cup Betting Odds00:07:51
Right.
Oh, yeah.
You didn't sit in your special.
No, but in a, in like a small club, I kind of like to pull everything in.
Yeah.
I like to even be like really small because I want it to see if it works.
Exactly.
Yeah.
I want to be as small as possible.
No, I don't want to act anything out.
I mean, even be like quiet.
And like, this is something I kind of picked up from Chris, to be honest.
I would see Chris working out and it wasn't like Chris.
I didn't want to put anything on it.
Yeah.
And I was like, I was like, man, why is he doing it?
And then I think someone told me, he was like, he wants to make sure it works.
And once it kills like that, put the sauce on it.
Yeah.
What up, everybody?
We're in different clothing right now.
And Neil had to step out for one moment.
And look who we replaced him with.
I'm back, baby.
Look at that.
We got the Sing Sing in the building.
Let's go.
We had to bring back Akash so we could talk about the greatest World Cup in the world.
The real greatest World Cup.
Not this cricket one.
The real greatest World Cup.
Which is the World Cup of Soccer.
India's going to win.
Yeah, maybe.
It's a hot take.
Definitely a hot take.
I don't know.
England is pretty good this year.
Wow.
Like I said, India's going to win because the prime minister is Indian new cucks.
That is the best payback right there.
What is that?
Like, they cuck them and now it's like, oh, I'm running your shit right now.
That is kind of like.
I know.
I relate.
That is kind of.
I relate to Barack.
Yeah, yeah.
That's fire.
That's fire.
Okay.
Well, that's a good tip.
Listen, we're big soccer fans here.
Ronaldo, Messi, Suarez.
Come on, bro.
Mbappe.
Mbappe.
You know what I mean?
Pulisic.
Mocela.
Mozala.
Benzema.
Mordovich.
Mordovich.
Yeah, Mordovich.
Mordovich from Croatia.
Midfield.
Name a player.
I'll tell you position.
Name any player.
I'll tell you position.
Luis Suarez.
Striker.
Karim Benzema.
Striker.
Virgil Van Dyke.
Oh, defense.
Trent Alexander Arnold.
Oh, great midfielder.
Great midfielder.
Defense.
Marcelo.
I know his defense.
I don't know why I didn't fuck it.
Oh, that's true.
You got to trust your heart, bro.
I didn't know why I didn't trust the defense.
Marcelo defense.
Yeah.
Leo Messi.
Oh, definitely striker, bro.
Come on.
Sergio Roberto.
Is he Brazilian?
No.
Spencer.
I don't know.
What position?
D. Defense, yeah.
Name more.
I'm impressed.
Neymar.
Come on, bro.
Come on, Neymar striker.
Do you only know striker and defender?
That's the only ones y'all are saying.
You don't know a single midfielder.
Name those fields for Dave.
Madrich, midfield, duh, Andre Siniesta, midfield, duh.
I literally know every position of anybody who's ever played soccer.
Schweinschreiger, come on, bro.
Striker, dog.
Botang.
Oh, Botang defense.
Alibaba.
Do you know this?
I'm right.
Why don't you know?
You're wearing a whole soccer shirt.
I gotta look him up.
I don't know every fucking position.
How do I know more positions?
He doesn't know.
I know all the positions.
How do I know I'm not?
Mueller.
Say what?
Mueller.
I'm sorry.
Mueller.
You really are.
That's a girl who loves football.
Just don't know shit about you.
She's just looking at the game.
Look at our gold data.
Follow like Arcash feel about India, bro.
Both of you.
Both of you are sad, pathetic.
I agree with that.
I don't have all day to be fucking watching games and shit.
I have all day.
People dabbling about shit.
You don't fucking know.
I've had enough of it.
All right.
Say one more player.
I guarantee I get it right.
Say one more player.
Pele.
Pele.
Yeah.
Come on, son.
Nanny or something that Brazilians do pretty well.
All right.
Who do you think wins the World Cup?
Say what?
Who wins?
Oh, U.S. is taking it this year.
We have the shooter.
Who's the close second?
Say again?
Who's second?
Close second is probably U.S. too.
Yeah.
All right.
Who's a far third?
Third, I probably put U.S. Does anybody matter?
How about that?
Who is the U.S. beating in the championship game?
Oh, they don't have to beat themselves.
To be honest, I can only really say.
If we lose, it was because we were in our heads.
Exactly, man.
So we're just beating ourselves.
So, yeah, yeah, yeah.
U.S. U.S. got it this year, man.
Matter of fact, if you put money down, you could do that shit with Bet Online.
Did you know that?
What?
You can do it, Bet Online.
Betonline.ag, and they're going to match your initial deposit bonus, 50% of it.
How does that mean?
Do you see if these are promo cups?
I'm putting at least, well, listen, they're going to match 50% up to $1,000.
So I'm going to put $1,000 and that's $500 extra if you have a win on US.
Like a promo code or something?
So yeah, you got to put the promo code flagrant.
Bro, you need to put at least $10K, probably.
Say again?
If you put $10K, it looks like the money line is like, you could stand to win hundreds of thousands of dollars.
Yeah, I'll probably do that.
Yeah, put like the value of like two Bitcoin and then you don't lose as much with the business.
I'll fuck you.
I'm going to do that, to be honest with you.
By the end of the World Cup, you won't lose as much.
I'm literally probably going to do that.
There you go.
I'm going to do that.
You should bet Mark on France and USA.
Oh, they're not going to play each other.
I don't know how that works, but I get it.
They're not going to play each other.
Who gets farther?
France has a way bigger advantage, but it would be way more fun if France lives.
Oh, yo, you should get, yo, you should take that bet.
Mark gives you odds.
Like, five.
I don't want no pussy ass odds.
Yeah.
You smell straight up?
Yeah.
I'm a man.
I do straight up bets.
Exactly.
Okay, what's the bet?
Bet online gives you odds, though.
Carlay's up.
Yeah, pussy.
You want to go make tons of money, go to Bet Online.
Okay.
There you go.
All right.
If you try to make tons of money and be rich, go to Bet Online.
If you're trying to bet your boy and lose money off of straight pride, then do what I'm about to do right now.
USA versus France.
A thousand wives.
Bitch boy.
Bitch, boy.
I'll give you odds right now.
Okay, go.
I'll give you odds right now.
Yeah, you soft.
You take odds, bro.
You want odds?
Take odds.
You want odds?
Thank odds.
You want some odds?
You want somebody?
You're a little beast boy right here, bro.
You want a little beach.
You want some odds, beach boy?
Go, You want some odds?
What's so funny?
What do you want?
I'll give you three to one odds.
Three to one odds.
Four to one.
I'll give you evens.
What does that mean?
I give you evens.
We go four to one.
Four to one even.
Oh, y'all don't understand how they gamble.
No, I don't.
Explain it to me.
What does this mean?
I'm giving you three to one, bro.
You know how when you sign up on bet online, they give you a bunch of money.
There's different odds for different bets.
I'm giving you three to one.
Okay.
Okay.
Do you want three to one or not?
Yes.
Okay.
Good.
That's perfect.
Do you know what that even means?
I'm signed up.
It means three to one.
How much you been?
At least $100.
Wow, you take it.
I don't know how to do it with $100.
I know how to do it with one and three, at least.
That's your $3.
All right, bet.
I think you got to bet one, bro.
I think you got to bet one and I'll bet three.
Okay, I'll bet one.
Otherwise, if you really want to know how this works, you go to bet online.ag.
But if you just want to do it with the math with me, you got to bet one and I'm going to bet three.
And I think if I win, you got to give me that dollar, peace boy.
If I win, you're going to give me $3?
That sounds crazy right now, son.
Is that what odds are?
You telling me Ben Online is offering odds?
And they be offering odds and parlays and all kinds.
Holy shit.
I know.
Holy shit.
I know.
Holy shit.
You got a good deal, bro.
I know.
It seems like.
Did we make that bet?
It's done.
That's a done deal.
God damn, bro.
I'll see you at the finish line.
Yeah, you will.
Whippets and Miserable Nights00:16:04
Where's Neil?
I don't know, man.
We should get back to Neil, bro.
I got to go.
Do you want to talk about the pod a little bit?
Oh, yeah.
Well, I'm starting a pod where I'm going to...
The thing about the my show is called blocks because they're like blocks of they're the parts of me that feel like make make me feel like something's wrong with me or like I'm isolated in the world or I'm different or weird or whatever.
But I'm going to have people on talk about what their blocks are.
Even if they don't exist, even if they've overcome them.
Like if they were an alcoholic, we can talk about that and whatever, whatever.
And it'll be funny and it'll be, and I'll get good people.
We talked about drugs a little bit before while we were out there and you mentioned the special that DMT hurt you.
DMT, I've done, I go on record.
Ayahuasca still got the anklet on that he got shot on last year.
Yeah.
Still there.
Covered it up, though.
So that's an accident because I wanted you guys to see my NBA soccer.
Did a bunch of ayahuasca.
Excellent.
Amazing, Believed in God after that.
Yeah, literally was an atheist before, had a God experience.
It was like, okay.
I was here and I wasn't going to regular ayahuasca circles because I don't know.
I knew of one here, but it just wasn't good.
So somebody offered me a thing called Bufo, which is the thing Mike Tyson talks about, the toad 5MEO DMT.
It's like supercharged DMT.
Even DMT is crazy.
And 5MEO is like the absolute crack, like nuclear bomb of psychedelics.
So I was against my better.
It always sounded too severe to me.
And I was like, I went against my better judgment and did it.
And it was too severe for me.
What happened?
When you first do it, they say a guy named Michael Pollan, who wrote a book about called How to Change Your Mind.
He said that it's like going to before the Big Bang.
And that's exactly where I went.
And it was.
I didn't understand direction, breathing.
I didn't know.
I was a, I think I was like an amoeba.
Like, it was fucking insane.
I like felt myself form the first synapse, like insane shit, right?
Are you scared in the moment?
Like, what is it?
I was trying to comprehend what was happening.
And your brain, I told somebody it was like drowning on incomprehensibility.
Imagine your brain drowning on trying to comprehend and orient yourself.
You see your hands are still.
Hands are closed.
I'm sorry, your hands are closed.
Sometimes that acts up, guys.
No, your eyes are closed.
So you're out.
You're like out.
You're like under it.
You're like under, so to speak.
How long?
The first time is you inhale and you're out for like 20.
You're like, like, you ever do whippets?
Oh, yeah.
It's like whippets, but whippets is like nine seconds.
Yeah.
Yeah.
This is like, for some people, it's five minutes.
For some people, it's for me, it was 20.
But within the 20, it's less disorienting in that, like, you slowly, your personality comes back.
And you're unconscious?
That whole thing?
Yeah.
What the fuck?
Yes.
So, right?
It's wild.
You can look it up on YouTube.
So never again.
Some people scream during it.
Some people fight.
Some have to get hold, but I was just laying there.
No surprise.
Let's be honest.
I wouldn't do it if you offered me $1 billion.
Literally, you, because what happened was, so I had that experience, which was like wild, but like, okay.
I inhaled at eight.
I was walking home at nine.
Like, all right, this is.
But the thing that happened was there's a thing called a reactivation where, like, they used to call like acid flashbacks or whatever.
Yeah.
Reactivation where you go kind of back into it.
I, it happened to me six days later.
For how long?
Two days.
So it, dude, it was, I told Rogan, I would have killed myself.
I was halfway between alive and in the infinite.
So I'm on a coffee date and my, I literally am like, my consciousness is disintegrating.
Like I'm looking at this woman and like it's like static on the right side.
Like insane.
And I one point.
No.
You just thugged it out.
It's kind of hard to explain, right?
Yeah, it's like you, I knew I couldn't talk to a therapist.
I knew I was so far beyond comprehension that it's like people say like you get a 35,000 foot view of life.
I had a 35 trillion foot view.
I was so far out and so aware of how old the earth was, how old the universe is that I couldn't watch Apple's Apple TV screensavers, like mountains and shit.
I was like, no, I can't look at this shit.
Like I literally couldn't.
For that lasted months.
The two days was so disorienting where I was like, am I in God's imagination?
It felt like I was like, it was like in Casino, the credit sequence of casino, where he's just like spinning around and I'm in the city.
It's a Sunday, Monday, and I just was like calling people I knew.
I had the thought.
It's really kind of bleak, but I was like, I would kill myself.
This is so disorienting.
I would kill myself, but I know I'm just going into more of it.
Because killing yourself isn't even relief.
It's not a reproof.
It would have been completing where I was.
It's permanence.
It's committing to the eternal.
To the thing that you hate the most.
It's not even a hate.
It was your only option.
Right.
It's just incomprehensible.
I was, it's not comprehensible.
Like, I was in a, I don't know where this, where I thought this or dreamt this, or maybe it was in the DMT like window, the 10-minute window.
Yeah.
Where it's that, like, God is there, like, a God for the central creation being of the universe.
Force.
Not a person.
A person couldn't make a black hole.
It's a force.
I felt it.
I saw it as like a black monolith that was like tilted like this.
Like, and I'm down here and it was like, and I looked, there was another person there and I was like, this is God.
And they knew, yeah, this is God.
And then we both get like a, like a force from the force.
Our brains are wiped.
And I'm like, what are you?
What am I?
I'm getting the chills talking about it.
What's anything?
Like, so far beyond anything a human being should experience for real.
Here's the, so I got 1% better every day.
Ironically enough.
Literally, like I just knew.
And I, one time I went to the dentist, did laughing ass, had to start over.
No.
Like literally like inhaled, went like, all right, we got to stop real quick.
Cause I went to the white place, not Applebee's.
Hashtag self-a racist.
I went to that place and was like, all right, we got to, can we just take a break real quick?
But I got a little better every day.
And I was pretty fully recovered, was fully recovered by like May, June.
This was last November.
So it took maybe more.
It took seven months.
Whoa.
Before I was, now here's the punchline.
I'm better.
I'm better than I was last October.
Emotionally happier.
My better comedian, happier.
Can fall in love easily.
Dick game.
Dick game never off the charts.
Crazy.
Off the, like more connected, more empathetic, probably more intuitive.
Just every part of me is better.
But I don't, if you given me the option, I think I would say no.
Like if you said, if you went back in time and said, like, would you do it again?
With knowing the outcome, I would say no.
Because it was so insane.
You think you're better be as a result of doing that?
Yeah.
I do.
That's the thing.
It's like an on-off switch.
It's just like a simple, like one-way before and after.
What did you have to go through, you think, to get here?
Like, what do you think that was?
Was it a blockage or something?
I think it resets you.
I think it resets your spirit for real.
Like, I think it's that.
I think it's, I think that we don't have any conception of what's really happening.
I think like we kind of do.
Like, we know, like, we've invented some structures.
We've invented some rituals.
Most of life is orientation and structure.
We're very good at it.
I don't think we have any clue what's happening.
And because I smoked a thing.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And then, uh, and then the more for four or five months, I was not myself.
I couldn't look at sunsets.
I literally couldn't look at mountains because we have these blinders on.
You know, when someone says, yeah, that mountain's 500,000 years old and they're crazy.
You go, it's crazy.
And nothing happens?
It happened.
Fucking lived it.
So was aware of how long 500,000 years was.
It wasn't that long, by the way.
Yeah.
To me.
It's kind of still isn't.
My like entire orientation of the human life is I was like, I kind of saw, I had a joke with myself, which was like God going like, so you like patterns, do you?
Come on.
I'll show you a fucking thing.
You don't see all the patterns ever?
Yeah, like that's what it felt to the point where they were like, I couldn't go to a therapy.
I'm like, I can't talk to someone.
I know what this is and I cannot speak to somebody about this.
You know how oftentimes are the most like thoughts?
Having said that, if you look at comments on video podcasts, people go like, Neil seems lighter.
I felt that.
No, I know.
I do.
And it's that.
Yeah.
It's eye-watching.
Neil doesn't get the heaviest version of you, I don't think.
He doesn't, he's dead.
He died.
No, okay.
So, you know how like the oftentimes the people who are incredibly thoughtful have great observations and like even self-aware observations about life.
I think you fall into this category, or at least you did maybe in the past when you bear, no, no, I'll explain why.
You bear the weight of that awareness.
Yeah.
Right?
Like looking at life for what it is, looking at human existence for what it is, is kind of unhealthy.
It creates some great art, some great writing.
Like you look at some of the observations these people had and you go, oh, wow, this is beautiful.
What is the cost for that beauty?
Right.
Yeah.
You just got that self-awareness not only for you, for like human existence, for mountains, for time, for everything in one minute.
And isn't that maybe that the lesson there is like, yo, if you go too deep, you're going to be miserable, Neil.
Well, if you try to figure out what's, I went too far.
It's like I went too far.
Yeah.
I was just trying to feel better.
Yeah.
And I did.
I got that.
By stepping away from it.
But I was already so far removed.
Yeah.
So it just made it like worse to the point.
Did you see what William Shatner said about space?
No.
He was on like.
He's like, it made me sad beyond anything I could have comprehended because he didn't, it's so dark and so desolate.
And it made him miss humans and earth life and just like human connection.
Yeah.
I'm now of the mind like that we are, we're like infinite spirits in these bodies, whatever.
Like that's, I don't know, that's it, but but but it also it's when I say like believing in God is helpful, it does make it makes me optimistic that like I'm literally just here for 80 years.
Yes.
So what are you going to do with that fucking time?
So yeah, that's that's the toughest thing for me.
It's like I look at Chrome, I'm going to crush S. That's pretty good use.
Yeah.
Yeah.
What are you going to do for the other 79 years?
Why are you crushing S?
No, but like you look at it and you go like, okay, I love the stuff that this level of self-awareness creates, but at the same time, like, do I want to pay that price?
Or can I create equally as fun, interesting, and beautiful things without going to a place that does create darkness?
It's like Adam and Eve shit.
Wait, what do you mean?
But it's also like you eat the fruit of knowledge and evil.
And you have to deal with the repercussions of that shit.
But I would argue that it was, you know, when comics say, like, well, I don't want to be happy.
I fuck that.
The dumbest thing is that.
I never bought that because what you'll come to realize pretty quickly is it's these are reflexes.
What do you mean by that?
I can, I go the white place, Applebee's.
It's fucking ref, it's just I speak the language.
It's like I know I can, my brain's going to spit jokes out just by nature and by practice.
Yeah.
I don't need to be miserable.
Steph Curry hits threes if he's happy.
Like he doesn't even, even if he thinks it's not going to go in.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah, I agree.
I think people lock themselves to it in that way.
I think there are other issues, not issues, other things that will like inspire jokes, but that is something that I'm concerned about.
It's like how, like leaning too far into what this existent is, existence is, can create misery.
And maybe what we should be doing is enjoying this existence.
Yeah, but it's if you're predisposed that way to like look and observe and all that, it's hard to break.
That's true.
You have to break your brain.
I like what I had to do was a, it was like a hard reset, but you know how when you do a hard reset, the computer shuts down.
Yeah.
I was doing it like live.
So I'm at on a coffee date and like, which even for a robot's hard.
So it was just difficult to take.
Have you had other people connect and like commiserate with that specific experience or was it purely?
One woman heard me talk about on Rogan and said she had the same experience.
Interesting.
Like a lot of like out of millions.
You've seen a lot of this, especially with the psychedelics, like the DMT and like ayahuasca.
There are these kind of shared experiences in this shadow space or whatever you call this you go.
You see the no Michael Pollan thing, he said he's he said in his book that before the Big Bang, and then I had it, and then I read the book and saw that he and was like, fuck, that's exactly what happened.
So like it wasn't, there are, I feel like there's like 20 experiences within that space and you'll have them in random order and sometimes you'll get some stuff and you won't get another.
If somebody will appear, your grandma, like, do you think that this, and I'm sure that people have written about this, but like, I think even Rogan did something about how like, you know, the Abrahamic religions were inspired by like mushroom use.
Spirit Willow and Lilith Fair00:03:32
Yeah, well, yeah, there's a theory.
Like, does that make more sense after doing this?
Made man stand.
I think that jungle, tribal, jungles, deserts, whatever.
I think not city, not urban.
I think that it's so much more naturally connected to not the spirits, for lack of a better word.
Like, like they'd say, like, ayahuasca is a vine to the cosmos.
Yeah.
So you're just more, it's just easier.
It's just less fucking input so that you can have it gets everything out of the way so you can have a direct connection.
Yeah.
I just think it's like, I just think it's like when you have time, you can, you know, you can just do stuff.
There's more ceremonies.
Ayahuasca is the only ceremony I've ever been to where I was like, oh, this is great.
It was like what church thinks it is.
It's the only, it's the first spiritual experience I've ever had where it was like, oh, okay, this is real.
Okay.
Take me through real quickly.
We got to go soon, by the way.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So you'll, you, you're going to this as Neil Brennan, the comedian.
You're seeing the shaman and his shaman outfit.
If he's wearing, like, please bring me through Neil Brennan before taking ayahuasca and every observation you have.
Like, does it live up to all the time?
So why say it's, I call it beyond Lilith Fair.
What is Lilith Fair?
Lilith Fair was a like all-female acoustic rock tour in the 90s.
Oh, that's right.
Like Sarah McLaughlin, yeah, Sarah McLaughlin and whatever.
It's so far past.
It's a level of whiteness I've never known.
They don't shave.
The women don't shave.
They don't shave nothing.
Natural deodorant.
Yeah.
And within 20 minutes, you're just as earnest as they are.
Yeah.
Wow.
Yeah.
Like just as like, I'm no, I don't judge.
I'm just like, yeah, it's that's Spirit Willow.
I know a woman named Spirit Willow.
And it makes sense.
And I don't question it.
I accept it.
I don't go, come on, sweetie.
What's your name's Spirit Willow?
Fine.
I get it.
Kind of.
Not real, but like I get, you know, I get what I know the space you're talking about now.
So that's the fun part.
Does the behavior and culture that comes out of that scene make sense once you've experienced it?
Some of it's just culture of just like we.
People are replicating things.
Yeah, it's like we, I like that top, so I wear that.
Like, some of it's just that.
No, but I, my take on culture after when I've done ayahuasca recently will be like, I don't like watching porn, violence.
And it's not.
Because those things get locked in there.
Yeah, it's just bad.
It's just like, yo, dogs, fucking, fucking take it.
Eat like yeesh.
It's just a little bit like, yeah.
Would you do ayahuasca again?
Yeah, I have.
After a year and a half.
And does it take you back in there like a lot of people?
I did it a couple weeks ago and I remember thinking, man, my brain is fucking clean.
Wow.
Oh.
Oh, explain that.
You're saying you don't have as crazy an experience because there isn't that much to get out of the way.
Yeah.
I think that's part of what happened.
Like it reset me and I was, I was like, it was two and a half weeks ago and I was like, wow, my shit is really clear.
Corrupt Religion Pillars00:03:14
So I've heard a lot of people that are interested in it.
I was even interested when we were in Miami.
There was a guy named Shaman Omar who came on.
We were talking a lot about it and I wasn't ready for it, but I wondered if the uptick in curiosity and use of ayahuasca has to do with all this shit that we're putting in our brains right now.
Like you said, like if we're dirtying up the brains.
It's also people.
Nobody in Wyoming is doing fucking ayahuasca.
They don't need it.
They don't need to.
By the way, like Native Americans, you know, when they say a medicine man, medicine woman, that was the person who drank ayahuasca.
There was only one of them.
So they would like do it for the whole tribe.
And it's all Amazonian shit.
So like they had, they did San Pedro.
They have like their own sort of entheogen, they're called.
I can tell you from my DMs, like I'm making fun of people saying and diagnosing me, I get, I've gotten thousands of DMs in eight days.
Like I can't answer.
It's exhausting because people are so emotionally desperate that they're like, thank you for, I didn't relate to all of it, but that part and that like they people are desperate.
Dude, it's and I know you got to get out of here, but it's really interesting time right now because, you know, we were talking about why there's so many, why like the self-help, I don't want to call them gurus because it undermines them a bit, but like there's a lot of people that are pushing self-help and it's incredibly helpful to people and they're really drawn to it.
And Mark had a good point.
He's like, he's like, yeah, well, we don't really have religion.
We got no religion anymore.
I mean, that's the thing, yeah.
So it's like there's self-help and then there's also plant medicine and there's all the shit that we're putting in our brains that religion would usually just go, hey, why don't you not take as much of that?
So now you've got no governor on yourself.
You're absorbing it.
It's never been easier to get into your system.
That's why comics are popular.
There's no, I told you this a long time.
It's like there's the government's all corrupt.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
The media is all corrupt.
Religion's either gone or corrupt.
So there's no one around, there's no one on duty.
Yeah.
So they go, Jon Stewart, like Michael Moore, Dave, Chris, now you, Joe, like got that like a beacon of at least clarity, some clarity.
Yeah.
Sometimes it's moral clarity, sometimes whatever.
Or at least joking about the bullshit.
Like that, that's the job now.
Whereas like it used to be we had pillars in society that are all crumbled.
All of them.
And comedians would challenge the pillars, but now there's no more pillars.
Now we attack each other.
Yeah, there's no pillars left.
There's none.
They've literally all been debunked.
Now there's a second part of it, which is like a lack of religion is not good.
I agree with that.
Even something like Christianity, which is like people always say like, it's Christianity is called every war ever.
Okay.
It's all or religion.
But it's also kept more people from getting punched in the face.
So many more.
Than any other force.
Ever.
Yeah.
So net positive.
Yeah.
Like maybe a net positive.
Even Moll is like all in tax breaks corrupt.
Net positive.
It's a super cop.
God Watching Net Positive00:01:22
Yeah.
It's like a thing that'll keep people like super cop.
Just like, oh, no, no, no, no, you don't want to do it.
God, no, God's watching.
Yeah.
My understanding of God is it's not, it's like not watching or it's like, it's just is.
Yeah.
So I didn't get a message of love or punish, certainly not punishment, but just so.
Have you spoken to Duval about this?
Do you tell?
Do you know?
We need to go have to.
Dinner.
Yeah.
So, so yeah, it's wild.
It's like, that's a, I went on a wild like, but I'm better.
But it was like, I couldn't, I wish I, it's like, I'll do it.
Is there any other way?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Like, thank you.
Legit thank you.
I, when I was in ayahuasca, whenever it would be hard a couple weeks ago, I kept doing the Charlemagne line, like, and we thank God for it all.
I was getting my ass beat.
Like, it was, I just felt nauseous and fucking groggy as fuck.
And I just kept thinking, Charlemagne, like, and no, no, no, don't get me wrong.