Flagrant - Andrew Schulz & Akaash Singh - Jo Koy's Mom is WHITE!
Aired: 2022-09-15
Duration: 02:17:36


=== Impersonating My White Mom (01:32) ===

[00:00:00]  I'm not doing a Filipino accent.
[00:00:01]  I'm doing the best impersonation of my mother.
[00:00:04]  But the weird thing is that, like, your mother's the white one.
[00:00:09]  I don't know if you know this, but my mom is a white woman from Little Manila in Queens.
[00:00:14]  Yes.
[00:00:16]  I know this.
[00:00:16]  We're here flagrant with, honestly, I don't know if there's anybody on the planet that sells as many tickets as you.
[00:00:26]  It's like you and Fluffy.
[00:00:27]  You and Fluffy.
[00:00:28]  Yeah.
[00:00:29]  Is there anybody else?
[00:00:31]  I don't know, man.
[00:00:32]  Minister Farrakhan, maybe?
[00:00:34]  I think it's like you, Fluffy, Minister Farrakhan are the only people that can do like stadiums full of comedy.
[00:00:40]  Right?
[00:00:41]  I don't even know the, I mean, there's Kevin, you know.
[00:00:44]  Oh, Kev, that's true.
[00:00:46]  That's true.
[00:00:46]  But it's crazy what's happening.
[00:00:49]  I can't even explain what's going on right now.
[00:00:50]  But it's also weird because with Kev, it's like he's also like this movie superstar.
[00:00:55]  Yeah.
[00:00:55]  And with you.
[00:00:56]  I'm just at Nordstrom Rack.
[00:00:58]  You're at Nordstrom Rack.
[00:00:58]  Yeah, yeah.
[00:00:59]  She sounds at Nordstrom Rack.
[00:01:02]  Yeah, we know you're Joseph.
[00:01:03]  Yeah, I'm Joseph.
[00:01:05]  Yeah, man.
[00:01:06]  So it's this weird thing where it's like, you're a boy, but you're also this like, you go to Hawaii and then the state shuts down.
[00:01:11]  Yeah.
[00:01:12]  Like that's what BJ Penn needed.
[00:01:13]  He needed you to say you want BJ Penn for governor.
[00:01:17]  Oh, that would have been dope.
[00:01:18]  Why didn't you do that?
[00:01:19]  You know what?
[00:01:20]  He should have asked.
[00:01:22]  No, I'm joining.
[00:01:22]  I'm joking.
[00:01:24]  I'm joking.
[00:01:24]  By the way, I'm joking, BJ.
[00:01:29]  You gotta tell BJ when you're joking.
[00:01:31]  Yo, underdated, Brad.

=== Coming Back to Nordstrom Rack (03:50) ===

[00:01:32]  Oh, I get it.
[00:01:34]  I get it.
[00:01:34]  Now, Brad.
[00:01:35]  Tuck story.
[00:01:36]  Yeah, yeah.
[00:01:36]  Talk for BJ Penn for governor.
[00:01:38]  Who doesn't?
[00:01:40]  Who doesn't?
[00:01:41]  Who doesn't openly is a good question.
[00:01:42]  That's yeah, yeah.
[00:01:43]  Behind closed doors, there might be some people that don't.
[00:01:45]  But in front of them, I think the right thing to do.
[00:01:47]  Yeah, you should always say I support BJP.
[00:01:49]  Always.
[00:01:50]  You still haven't said who this guy is.
[00:01:51]  I still don't know him.
[00:01:52]  Oh, it's Joseph Coy.
[00:01:53]  Oh, it's Joseph.
[00:01:54]  Jose!
[00:01:56]  Jose!
[00:01:57]  Okay.
[00:01:57]  Thank you.
[00:01:58]  You want to start the podcast by bashing Netflix.
[00:02:01]  No.
[00:02:01]  Yeah.
[00:02:02]  That was a weird question.
[00:02:02]  Why are you not against that?
[00:02:03]  Well, I mean, yeah, the new Netflix special is about to drop.
[00:02:07]  But no, what we were talking about.
[00:02:09]  Sorry.
[00:02:09]  Sorry.
[00:02:09]  You want to promote the new special.
[00:02:11]  No, no, no.
[00:02:12]  I love what you're saying.
[00:02:13]  They don't mind.
[00:02:14]  They don't mind talking about it.
[00:02:16]  But you were saying something about how they weren't fucking with you or something like that.
[00:02:19]  Yeah, they weren't fucking with a lot of us.
[00:02:20]  Right, right.
[00:02:21]  But then you were like, yo, you need to suck this dick.
[00:02:23]  Okay, that's.
[00:02:25]  I don't think that's...
[00:02:26]  And this is when I get canceled.
[00:02:28]  I do the hashtag with start.
[00:02:30]  I came in here.
[00:02:33]  I was on my story.
[00:02:34]  I was like, about to go with Andrew Schultz.
[00:02:36]  Hashtag, and I left it blank.
[00:02:37]  And then I decided I'll fill the blank when I leave.
[00:02:40]  But I got the doll.
[00:02:41]  Yeah, I know.
[00:02:42]  Hashtag, it's been fun.
[00:02:43]  Yeah.
[00:02:45]  He's tired now.
[00:02:46]  Okay.
[00:02:46]  No, no.
[00:02:47]  Tell this story.
[00:02:48]  No, it's a great story.
[00:02:49]  Like, they just didn't want to, they didn't want to invest in the special.
[00:02:53]  Yeah.
[00:02:54]  So when I found out that they were doing originals instead of just leasing or whatever it is that they do, licensing and whatever.
[00:03:02]  So whatever they were doing.
[00:03:05]  Yeah, but back then, like 2016, they were just getting stuff from Comedy Central and posting it on their platform.
[00:03:12]  And then when they said they were doing original content, I was like, well, this hour is hot.
[00:03:16]  You got to see my hour, man.
[00:03:18]  And they wouldn't even look.
[00:03:20]  I was like, wait, what?
[00:03:22]  And Schultz, I was crushing, man.
[00:03:24]  Yeah.
[00:03:25]  Like, I was putting up numbers, man.
[00:03:28]  Like every improv, I was doing like 20 shows in a row, like anywhere in the country.
[00:03:32]  It was just like, I can go to Chicago, do three weeks of straight improvs, and then go to and then go to, I can do three, I can do La Brea, I can do Brea, Ontario, Irvine within the same month and do 21 shows, 24 shows, like 20 shows, all in the same month.
[00:03:50]  But yet they didn't really understand.
[00:03:53]  They were like, and they would have like this, they would have like an excuse, but I didn't understand.
[00:03:58]  I was like, wait, what is your excuse?
[00:04:00]  They wouldn't say it directly, but they were just, I think I understood.
[00:04:03]  What was it?
[00:04:04]  I don't want to say, but the people aren't there anymore.
[00:04:08]  But I think, you know, when you now you can definitely say it.
[00:04:11]  Yeah, yeah.
[00:04:11]  Because the new, the, the new, uh, the new crew there is amazing.
[00:04:15]  They're wonderful.
[00:04:16]  But like, uh, you know, the whole wonderful for you.
[00:04:24]  Yeah.
[00:04:26]  I got them to pay me some money.
[00:04:29]  No, but but but I didn't understand why.
[00:04:32]  And and then, uh, and then we were just like, all right, screw it.
[00:04:36]  Like, like, we offered eight times, dude.
[00:04:37]  There was this one time where I said, I will fly you to San Francisco because it was a huge show.
[00:04:42]  It was a huge show.
[00:04:43]  I was doing like 20 shows at the Cobbs at Cobb's Comedy Club.
[00:04:47]  I was like, I will fly you guys in on a private.
[00:04:50]  I'm not trying to even brag.
[00:04:51]  Like, honestly, I go, I will fly you guys in on a private jet.
[00:04:55]  Yeah.
[00:04:55]  Right after work, just come to San Francisco.
[00:04:58]  I'll get a driver to drive you and then I'll drive you back to the jet and you'll be in bed tonight.
[00:05:04]  And they still turned it down.
[00:05:06]  And this is like I was trying so hard to get them to come.
[00:05:08]  And this is before Netflix was like the behemoth to everything.
[00:05:11]  This is when they were saying that they were going to get like all these comebacks.
[00:05:14]  Like Chris is going to write a new special and Dave's coming back and everyone's coming back, you know, this year.
[00:05:20]  This is why we still called specials HBO specials.

=== HBO Specials Before Netflix (15:28) ===

[00:05:23]  Yes, yes.
[00:05:24]  Right.
[00:05:24]  So that, yes.
[00:05:25]  And then, so I wanted to be in that roster.
[00:05:27]  Yeah.
[00:05:27]  I was like, I deserve to be in that roster.
[00:05:29]  Fuck yeah.
[00:05:29]  So then, and then they turned it down.
[00:05:32]  I was like, what?
[00:05:33]  And then all of a sudden they gave a call and they were like, yeah, you know, we're just going to go ahead and pass.
[00:05:38]  And I'm like, what?
[00:05:40]  Before even seeing it.
[00:05:40]  You didn't even see it.
[00:05:42]  Like, you didn't even see it.
[00:05:43]  Like, why was anybody in?
[00:05:44]  Who do you think it was?
[00:05:46]  I don't know, man.
[00:05:48]  What do you just think?
[00:05:49]  You might be here.
[00:05:50]  Let's just say it was too specific.
[00:05:54]  And to me, and to me, specific is just a very fancy word for we're racist.
[00:06:05]  Whoever's in at that time or whoever was in that position, because to me, I'm like, what does that mean?
[00:06:13]  Specific?
[00:06:14]  I have a specific story.
[00:06:17]  What are you saying?
[00:06:18]  I have a specific voice.
[00:06:19]  I'm American.
[00:06:20]  I live in America.
[00:06:22]  And my mother's American and she lives in America.
[00:06:25]  In fact, she's lived here longer than all of us in here.
[00:06:27]  So she's really American.
[00:06:29]  She has an accent, but so does Jeff Foxworthy.
[00:06:33]  Yeah.
[00:06:33]  So what is specific?
[00:06:35]  I don't get it.
[00:06:36]  Other than we don't want to hear your mom's voice on TV.
[00:06:40]  Yeah.
[00:06:42]  This is what I always say.
[00:06:43]  Like whenever I hear someone say something really sly or, you know, like, oh, he's doing that thing about his mom again.
[00:06:50]  It's like, okay, well, my mom's been living here since 1969.
[00:06:54]  She works her ass off, pays taxes.
[00:06:57]  She goes home and watches TV.
[00:06:59]  And I always talk about there's a lot of nurses in Filipinos in the Filipino community.
[00:07:03]  I have a lot of nurses in my family.
[00:07:05]  Yeah.
[00:07:06]  And they go to work at a hospital 14 hours a day.
[00:07:10]  And then when they come home, they turn on the TV and they watch a TV show about a hospital.
[00:07:15]  And not one Filipino nurse is on that show.
[00:07:19]  And then you go watch a movie and you see a hospital scene, just an emergency room scene.
[00:07:24]  Let's just say that where not even one Filipino nurse is running across the hallway.
[00:07:29]  And to me, how do you think that person feels other than invisible?
[00:07:36]  You don't think she feels the hospital is more safe.
[00:07:39]  Yeah.
[00:07:40]  But now, yeah, that's funny.
[00:07:42]  But how invisible do you think she feels to live in this country and to feel like, oh, so then not only do you not want to hear my voice, but on TV, I don't even fucking exist.
[00:07:53]  So thank you.
[00:07:54]  But I've been here for 59 years.
[00:07:56]  So thank you for that.
[00:07:57]  Oh, and my son's going to do one story about me and you don't want to hear it because it's too specific.
[00:08:04]  So I'm the only voice.
[00:08:05]  I'm the only voice.
[00:08:06]  And like when people go, oh, oh, he's just doing that Filipino accent.
[00:08:12]  Motherfucker, I'm not doing a Filipino accent.
[00:08:14]  I'm doing the best impersonation of my mother.
[00:08:17]  I didn't give a fuck about any other person's story.
[00:08:20]  But the weird thing is that, like, your mother's the white one.
[00:08:25]  That was the thing that was weird because most people don't know this about you.
[00:08:28]  My mom's dad is Filipino.
[00:08:30]  Yeah, it's Filipino.
[00:08:31]  Exactly.
[00:08:32]  And that's the story I'm trying to tell.
[00:08:33]  You're super racist.
[00:08:35]  He's making fun of your dad.
[00:08:36]  Joseph.
[00:08:38]  My mom is the racist.
[00:08:40]  I'm talking about my story.
[00:08:42]  It's like, if you look at the comedy through that lens, you're the most edgy comedian.
[00:08:46]  It's very rusty, actually.
[00:08:48]  I don't know if you know this, but my mom is a white woman from Little Manila in Queens.
[00:08:53]  Yes.
[00:08:54]  I know this.
[00:08:56]  My dad, who is a mailman.
[00:08:57]  Yep, Filipino mailman.
[00:08:58]  Yes.
[00:08:59]  Yeah.
[00:08:59]  And this is a story I've been pitching to ABC, and they won't buy it.
[00:09:03]  It's fucked up.
[00:09:04]  It's because your mom will do the accent.
[00:09:06]  She learned Tagalog or whatever it's called.
[00:09:09]  How do you want to fuck up my Tagalog?
[00:09:13]  It's Tagalog.
[00:09:14]  Tagalog.
[00:09:15]  Yes.
[00:09:15]  And this.
[00:09:16]  Tagalog.
[00:09:18]  Tagalong.
[00:09:19]  Tagalog.
[00:09:20]  Tagalog.
[00:09:21]  Log.
[00:09:21]  Tagalog.
[00:09:22]  There you go.
[00:09:23]  How does your racist mom say it?
[00:09:26]  She says it like you.
[00:09:29]  Birds of the feather.
[00:09:31]  You know how white people say it.
[00:09:33]  You pronounce it so specifically.
[00:09:35]  You've got to bring your white mom on stage.
[00:09:38]  Yes.
[00:09:38]  Like, I've never showed my mom, but it's finally the biggest show.
[00:09:41]  You're doing fucking shit.
[00:09:43]  And she went like this.
[00:09:44]  Joe's dad.
[00:09:45]  Joe said.
[00:09:46]  Dude, in Manila.
[00:09:47]  What the fuck do you want to do?
[00:09:52]  I just count my money, go, fuck y'all.
[00:09:55]  I won again.
[00:09:56]  Does your mom not want to be in the public eye?
[00:09:58]  Does she not want to?
[00:09:59]  Would it be ironic if she wants to be invisible and your whole career is going to be hilarious?
[00:10:04]  Giving her visibility.
[00:10:05]  No, she loves it, man.
[00:10:07]  She loves what's happening right now.
[00:10:10]  But it sucks.
[00:10:11]  I'm not going to lie.
[00:10:12]  It sucks.
[00:10:13]  And people don't understand how hard that was.
[00:10:15]  Like, people go, oh, Joe blew up because of the Netflix post.
[00:10:17]  I'm like, I shot that shit.
[00:10:19]  Yeah.
[00:10:19]  And you know, here's another thing that no one knows is.
[00:10:22]  Also, it takes a long time to blow up overnight, bro.
[00:10:25]  Yeah, yeah.
[00:10:26]  Oh, here's a story.
[00:10:27]  You were the first comic I ever saw in LA.
[00:10:30]  2007.
[00:10:31]  Wow.
[00:10:31]  This is crazy.
[00:10:32]  I think Finesse Mitchell was headlining.
[00:10:34]  Super funny.
[00:10:34]  But you and Tiffany Haddish were both the feature comics.
[00:10:38]  And I remember thinking, Laugh Actor, 2007.
[00:10:41]  I just moved to LA.
[00:10:43]  I remember thinking Tiffany had this star quality.
[00:10:45]  And like, my boy and I were like, yo, she's a star.
[00:10:47]  And then I remember watching you and I was dying fucking laughing.
[00:10:51]  I don't, to this day, I don't know if you were high or not, but I was fucking, and I remember thinking, this guy is so free on stage.
[00:10:59]  I hadn't really started comedy, but I was like, that's what I want.
[00:11:03]  The freedom he has on stage, the jokes you were doing selling stories about your mom were so good.
[00:11:07]  But 15 years, I've remembered that.
[00:11:09]  And then, you know, as you're building, I don't realize what's going on.
[00:11:12]  I'm like, yo, I would, I swear to God, I'd be like, what happened to that guy, Joe Coy?
[00:11:15]  He's so fucking funny.
[00:11:16]  Then I saw the Comedy Central special.
[00:11:18]  Then I saw the Netflix.
[00:11:19]  Then I'm seeing arenas.
[00:11:20]  And it was like, yo, man, that guy fucking grinded his way up and deserved it.
[00:11:23]  And it's so cool to see.
[00:11:24]  Thank you, man.
[00:11:25]  Of course, man.
[00:11:26]  I remember seeing you that night and thinking the same thing about your eyes.
[00:11:31]  I was like, how is he so brown?
[00:11:33]  And his eyes aren't.
[00:11:35]  And maybe that's why I was, did he deliver food or something?
[00:11:41]  No, he just got me with his eyes.
[00:11:42]  Kind of like right now.
[00:11:44]  You're just lost.
[00:11:44]  Look at his goddamn eyes.
[00:11:46]  Yeah, they're very nice.
[00:11:47]  I was there ordering water because I couldn't afford even diet coke.
[00:11:50]  Oh, yeah, yeah.
[00:11:51]  Demon Constadt would lock everybody down on that.
[00:11:54]  Okay, so then you go and you crush and you become a superstar.
[00:11:56]  Well, how do you get it onto Netflix?
[00:11:57]  No, so here's another thing, Andrew, that no one knows is two days before I was shooting, they call my manager and go, hey, we heard Joe Coy's shooting his special.
[00:12:08]  We just want you to know that we're really not interested in that special.
[00:12:13]  That's a true story.
[00:12:14]  Unnecessary.
[00:12:14]  Something happened with the Philippines and the person who was ahead of Netflix.
[00:12:17]  Yeah.
[00:12:18]  The person that the head of Metro's, he's Filipino.
[00:12:23]  That's why.
[00:12:23]  Really?
[00:12:24]  That's why.
[00:12:25]  That's what it is how annoying Filipino people are.
[00:12:28]  And he's like, nobody wants to hear from these people.
[00:12:30]  This is too much.
[00:12:31]  Nobody's going to like this.
[00:12:33]  There's no way this is going to work because he knows them at their core.
[00:12:36]  Yeah, yeah.
[00:12:36]  Well, he is the core.
[00:12:38]  He's the core.
[00:12:38]  He's Filipino.
[00:12:39]  He's really Filipino?
[00:12:41]  No, Andrew.
[00:12:42]  Sarandos.
[00:12:43]  His mom is white.
[00:12:44]  What are we doing?
[00:12:44]  Sarandos sounds like it?
[00:12:46]  You're fucking up everyone's name.
[00:12:48]  You're a China man.
[00:12:49]  Oh, you've been lying the whole time.
[00:12:53]  You've been lying the whole time.
[00:12:55]  I had to flip it.
[00:12:56]  I had to flip it.
[00:12:56]  I felt the pressure coming up.
[00:12:58]  There's another racist statement.
[00:13:00]  What?
[00:13:00]  Flip it?
[00:13:00]  Flip it, yeah.
[00:13:03]  That was racist on your side.
[00:13:04]  On your side.
[00:13:05]  That was your mom coming out.
[00:13:06]  That was your mom coming out.
[00:13:07]  My white mom?
[00:13:08]  I have a white mom too.
[00:13:11]  My white mom's an immigrant.
[00:13:13]  Oh, and she's an act of lucky.
[00:13:16]  Let me hear it.
[00:13:16]  Let me hear it.
[00:13:17]  How does your mom?
[00:13:18]  Joseph?
[00:13:20]  She's a singer.
[00:13:23]  Your mom's an R ⁇ B immigrant.
[00:13:26]  Joseph?
[00:13:27]  Joseph.
[00:13:29]  Joseph.
[00:13:30]  Okay.
[00:13:31]  No, she's a Scottish woman.
[00:13:34]  Yeah.
[00:13:34]  And I was told that it was too specific as well.
[00:13:37]  Really?
[00:13:37]  Yeah.
[00:13:39]  You're full of shit.
[00:13:40]  I was.
[00:13:41]  I was told that.
[00:13:42]  My whole family was told that.
[00:13:43]  What they were doing was too specific.
[00:13:45]  And then they were taken over by the Brits.
[00:13:49]  And then do you know where the queen ended up dying?
[00:13:52]  Where?
[00:13:53]  Scotland.
[00:13:55]  Jokes on you, bitch.
[00:13:57]  Right?
[00:13:58]  Yeah.
[00:13:59]  She got the final word.
[00:14:01]  That's it.
[00:14:01]  Hey, Mac, man.
[00:14:03]  Queen.
[00:14:04]  Not the queen at all, dude.
[00:14:07]  Okay, okay.
[00:14:07]  When she died, she went like this.
[00:14:08]  It's too specific.
[00:14:10]  It's too specific.
[00:14:11]  Fucking kick the can.
[00:14:13]  Okay, so then you find, you, you go two days before they go, we don't want your shit.
[00:14:17]  Yeah.
[00:14:17]  Okay.
[00:14:18]  We shot it anyway.
[00:14:19]  And Ted called you specific, like himself.
[00:14:21]  No, no.
[00:14:22]  Ted, Ted, no, Ted's, Ted's called me specifically.
[00:14:25]  Yeah.
[00:14:26]  No, we shot it.
[00:14:27]  We cut it.
[00:14:28]  And then like, we, we submitted it.
[00:14:32]  And like, literally, like maybe an hour later, they go, we want it.
[00:14:36]  They knew.
[00:14:37]  Wow.
[00:14:37]  Yeah.
[00:14:38]  They knew.
[00:14:38]  Wow.
[00:14:39]  Yeah.
[00:14:39]  Yeah.
[00:14:40]  What made you say, fuck it, I'm going to film it anyway?
[00:14:42]  Because I knew it was good.
[00:14:43]  You knew it was that good.
[00:14:44]  And I knew I was good.
[00:14:46]  And your intention, if they didn't buy it, you would just put it out yourself.
[00:14:49]  Bro, you know, I, you know, you shoot two specials.
[00:14:51]  That's what some people have to do when no one wants their specialty.
[00:14:54]  Yeah, yeah.
[00:14:54]  We decided to put it on YouTube and see what happens.
[00:14:56]  Yeah.
[00:14:56]  It's also a great option.
[00:14:58]  Yeah.
[00:14:58]  It's really great.
[00:14:59]  Yeah.
[00:14:59]  I mean, it's hey, some people innovate and then some people follow that model.
[00:15:03]  Yeah, it is.
[00:15:03]  It works out.
[00:15:04]  It does.
[00:15:05]  You know what I mean?
[00:15:06]  It works out.
[00:15:07]  It works out.
[00:15:08]  You know what I mean?
[00:15:09]  It's fucking beautiful in here.
[00:15:11]  It's beautiful in here.
[00:15:13]  It's pretty good.
[00:15:19]  You're so dumb.
[00:15:20]  Okay, no, but go.
[00:15:22]  So what happens?
[00:15:23]  We shoot it.
[00:15:24]  When they ask for it, do you fucking double the price?
[00:15:27]  Yeah.
[00:15:27]  How do you feel a little bit?
[00:15:29]  I'll find out.
[00:15:30]  Man, I cried.
[00:15:31]  I'm not going to lie.
[00:15:32]  I mean, because it was a year process.
[00:15:33]  It was like 2015 was when we found out that they were doing originals 2017, so they were going to shoot 2016.
[00:15:41]  They turned me down in 2015.
[00:15:43]  It was like 2016 was just me, you know, getting the money, getting the directors, running the venue.
[00:15:50]  Like, it was just a whole year of me just mapping this out and my team, you know, my manager, my promoters.
[00:15:57]  Yeah, it was a lot.
[00:15:57]  It was a lot of stress, but we were like, we got to do it.
[00:16:01]  And I didn't care.
[00:16:02]  Like, if they didn't buy it, I was going to, I would literally make DVDs if I had to.
[00:16:06]  Even though they didn't sell them, I was going to sell it out of the back of my car.
[00:16:08]  Yeah.
[00:16:08]  You were hungry.
[00:16:09]  Yeah.
[00:16:10]  You also knew that the people wanted.
[00:16:11]  That's the thing about being on the road.
[00:16:13]  When you sell out shows, it's proof of concept.
[00:16:15]  Yeah.
[00:16:16]  That's why when they say algorithm, I don't get it.
[00:16:18]  I'm like, what algorithm are you talking about?
[00:16:20]  Yeah, the one where people leave their house.
[00:16:21]  I don't understand that algorithm.
[00:16:23]  I don't know what algorithm.
[00:16:24]  What are you talking about?
[00:16:25]  Because I got four forums sold out.
[00:16:28]  I got two Honda Centers sold out.
[00:16:30]  I got two Chase Centers.
[00:16:31]  I got two Chase Centers sold out during the playoffs.
[00:16:35]  It's Golden State, Joe Coi, Golden State, Joe Coi.
[00:16:39]  I got Key.
[00:16:40]  I got Climate Pledge Arena sold out six months to advance.
[00:16:43]  Then I'm playing Homodome sold out.
[00:16:46]  Yeah.
[00:16:46]  Stocked in a playing the Kings two times, two Kings.
[00:16:49]  Like, I'm all up and down.
[00:16:51]  Then Madison Square.
[00:16:54]  No, I'm just like, I just want to know what your algorithm is.
[00:16:57]  Yeah.
[00:16:59]  I want to know what your demo is, and I want to know what specifics you're talking about.
[00:17:02]  How much you get paid for the last season.
[00:17:04]  So rich.
[00:17:04]  How much you get paid for the last concept?
[00:17:06]  This one from Netflix.
[00:17:06]  How much do you get?
[00:17:07]  Oh, not much.
[00:17:08]  Not much.
[00:17:08]  Come on, bro.
[00:17:09]  No, not much.
[00:17:10]  10 million?
[00:17:10]  No, I'm not going to tell you.
[00:17:11]  20, 20 million?
[00:17:12]  No, not much at all.
[00:17:13]  Not much for him.
[00:17:14]  No, it's high.
[00:17:15]  Not much for you.
[00:17:16]  No, not much at all.
[00:17:18]  25?
[00:17:20]  Wow.
[00:17:22]  Where's my which one's my camera?
[00:17:23]  Because they're all red.
[00:17:26]  You guys run all of them at the same time.
[00:17:28]  It's just one guy going, fuck.
[00:17:30]  Yeah.
[00:17:32]  Fucking shulks.
[00:17:36]  Okay, so somewhere between 20, we're in the 20, but it's 20.
[00:17:40]  It's not a lot of money.
[00:17:41]  You deserve 20, not a lot of money.
[00:17:43]  If you're selling, thank you.
[00:17:45]  Thank you.
[00:17:45]  I'm just saying.
[00:17:46]  Thank you.
[00:17:46]  You deserve it.
[00:17:47]  I appreciate that.
[00:17:48]  Okay.
[00:17:49]  10,000 seats on a Wednesday in the Philippines.
[00:17:51]  Like it's nothing.
[00:17:53]  I mean, they have nothing to do, but still.
[00:17:56]  I'm just saying, 10,000 seats.
[00:17:57]  I'm not bragging, but I think after 33 years, I should be able to say these things.
[00:18:01]  Damn.
[00:18:01]  What were the seats made out of?
[00:18:03]  Yeah.
[00:18:03]  Well, out of my night?
[00:18:04]  Bring your own chair.
[00:18:05]  For my night?
[00:18:05]  It would be YOC.
[00:18:08]  Yeah, exactly.
[00:18:08]  Bring your own chair.
[00:18:11]  Oh, my God.
[00:18:12]  So many.
[00:18:14]  An Indian knows 10,000 seats in the Philippine makes as much as about 150 seats in the U.S.
[00:18:19]  So you sold an improv on a Tuesday.
[00:18:21]  Yeah, I didn't hear anything you said because you're ice.
[00:18:24]  So you might not want to talk this whole fucking show because I'm not going to listen to anything.
[00:18:28]  All right?
[00:18:29]  Just smile and keep your eyes bread.
[00:18:31]  And he's freshly single, right?
[00:18:33]  Yes.
[00:18:33]  You're freshly single.
[00:18:34]  You're freshly single from your fake relationship with Chelsea.
[00:18:41]  Were you guys really in a relationship?
[00:18:42]  Be honest.
[00:18:43]  Now, this is.
[00:18:44]  That doesn't seem like a yes.
[00:18:46]  That doesn't seem like a yes.
[00:18:47]  Joseph.
[00:18:48]  This is fun to even play with this type of conversation.
[00:18:54]  Joseph?
[00:18:56]  I am your white mother right now.
[00:18:59]  Yeah.
[00:19:01]  How do you know how to play with that?
[00:19:04]  He's going through a breakup.
[00:19:05]  Why are you doing this?
[00:19:07]  What do you want to do with that?
[00:19:08]  Can we pretend to laugh and believe that question?
[00:19:11]  Yes.
[00:19:11]  Then we'll all laugh at that.
[00:19:13]  Okay.
[00:19:14]  I did not have a relationship with it.
[00:19:16]  No.
[00:19:16]  Yeah.
[00:19:17]  I mean, you know, it's a breakup.
[00:19:19]  Whatever.
[00:19:19]  We're still friends, but, you know.
[00:19:22]  Are you heartbroken?
[00:19:23]  No, no, not at all.
[00:19:24]  We, you know, the way the way it happened, the way it happened at the beginning.
[00:19:27]  Why is that?
[00:19:29]  No, because it's a, you know, it's a breakup, bro.
[00:19:32]  It's like, whatever.
[00:19:33]  But I really don't want to talk about it.
[00:19:35]  Okay.
[00:19:36]  It's a breakup.
[00:19:36]  Fair enough.
[00:19:37]  I don't want to make you feel uncomfortable here.
[00:19:39]  No, no, no.
[00:19:40]  But did you ever hear people go like, are they really?
[00:19:43]  Yeah, but I always thought they were stupid.
[00:19:45]  Yeah.
[00:19:45]  Yeah.
[00:19:47]  Those people are dumb and stupid.
[00:19:48]  And ugly, also.
[00:19:48]  They're also ugly.
[00:19:50]  Yeah.
[00:19:50]  And I also thought anyone thinks like that is an insecure piece of shit.
[00:19:55]  Piece of shit.
[00:19:55]  Yeah, yeah.
[00:19:56]  No one thinks like that.
[00:19:57]  I mean, nobody.
[00:19:57]  Not in this room.
[00:19:58]  None of us.
[00:19:59]  Am I right?
[00:19:59]  None of us.
[00:20:00]  Okay.
[00:20:01]  Now, here's the thing.
[00:20:02]  We're all adults here.
[00:20:03]  We're not.
[00:20:05]  Now that's a lie.
[00:20:06]  14 again?
[00:20:07]  No, that's a lot.
[00:20:07]  We're actually not all adults.
[00:20:09]  Next thing you know, you're going to buy a bunch of electric bites and donate them.
[00:20:11]  I'm burning that.
[00:20:12]  No, we didn't do that.
[00:20:14]  We threw them out.
[00:20:15]  Come on.
[00:20:16]  Only children do dumb shit like that.
[00:20:20]  Okay, okay.
[00:20:21]  Now, now.
[00:20:22]  Can we get this back on the rails?
[00:20:24]  Yeah.
[00:20:24]  Yeah.
[00:20:24]  Okay.
[00:20:25]  You also have to be careful with that, by the way, because that's a voodoo doll.
[00:20:27]  You know that, right?
[00:20:28]  No, it's not.
[00:20:29]  Yeah, it is.
[00:20:30]  It's my Joseph.
[00:20:31]  Check your asshole.
[00:20:33]  You know, I can believe what I put in that doll before the show started.
[00:20:37]  I go, if he asks one question, that's stupid.
[00:20:40]  His ass is going to bleed.
[00:20:42]  Now, you have always told me how grateful you were of Chelsea because she gave you that great opportunity on her show and you absolutely murdered it on her show.

=== Selling Shit Out Quick (05:12) ===

[00:20:51]  Yeah.
[00:20:51]  So you guys, the way it rekindled was when I got the Variety magazine and they went to ask her for like a, like, you know, like a question.
[00:21:03]  And then we just, our relationship started and it was like, it was crazy.
[00:21:06]  We just started talking.
[00:21:08]  I just wanted to be friends.
[00:21:09]  And then this relationship, it was cool.
[00:21:12]  It was kind of cashy, huh?
[00:21:13]  No, it was cool.
[00:21:15]  Like, I don't like, I don't even, I don't even like spending time on this because it was like, it was a cool relationship and we broke up and unfortunately it didn't work out.
[00:21:23]  Yeah.
[00:21:24]  And that's fine, but it was, it was, it was fun while I was doing it.
[00:21:27]  Maybe the commentary is because you guys were so publicly in a relationship.
[00:21:31]  No, that's, that's what killed it too.
[00:21:33]  Like, I honestly.
[00:21:34]  Because we didn't know anything about your love life before.
[00:21:35]  We knew you had a kid, but we never had a motherfucker.
[00:21:37]  I never told anyone about my love life.
[00:21:39]  Even my ex, like, you know, I keep that private, you know, and, you know, I just don't like it because, you know, I have a kid and, you know, and, you know, it's just, you know, he, he loved her.
[00:21:49]  We all, it was, it was fun, man.
[00:21:51]  But it was a breakup.
[00:21:54]  Yeah.
[00:21:54]  And, you know, when you're public, you don't want to be, I don't like seeing breakups where it's like they're fighting and it's like, oh, I'm going to throw this person on the.
[00:22:02]  It's like, that's just stupid.
[00:22:03]  That's juvenile, man.
[00:22:04]  It's like, my life is, I've moved on.
[00:22:07]  I got a career to talk about.
[00:22:08]  I got my son to talk about.
[00:22:09]  I got, I ain't got time for all that drama, man.
[00:22:12]  Man, he made you look so bad.
[00:22:13]  You look like such a piece of shit right now.
[00:22:17]  It's unbelievable.
[00:22:18]  I look like a piece of shit.
[00:22:19]  Hey, man.
[00:22:20]  I look like a piece of shit.
[00:22:21]  Hey, Andrew.
[00:22:21]  No one has to tell you that.
[00:22:25]  Did you guys just double down on me looking like a piece of shit?
[00:22:28]  I'm a journalist here.
[00:22:30]  I'm a real journalist.
[00:22:32]  I have to ask the hard-hitting questions.
[00:22:34]  Okay?
[00:22:35]  I'm looking.
[00:22:36]  I'm caring about you.
[00:22:37]  I see you in this relationship that you're very excited about.
[00:22:40]  And then I would watch more of the content.
[00:22:42]  And then there was moments where you look frustrated.
[00:22:44]  You guys were cooking.
[00:22:44]  Yeah.
[00:22:47]  But you didn't cook for it.
[00:22:49]  Well, because we were so public.
[00:22:50]  But I mean, don't get me wrong.
[00:22:51]  I still, I enjoyed.
[00:22:53]  I enjoyed Chelsea.
[00:22:54]  She's great.
[00:22:55]  She's fun.
[00:22:56]  Wouldn't she ask this question on her show if she was interviewing?
[00:23:00]  Even if she did, I don't, I don't want to pay that any mind or attention.
[00:23:05]  I don't, that energy doesn't need to go there.
[00:23:07]  It feels like there's a new girl out there.
[00:23:09]  No, there's.
[00:23:10]  I'm talking into my head like a microphone.
[00:23:12]  Exactly.
[00:23:13]  It feels like there's a new girl out there.
[00:23:16]  Somebody.
[00:23:16]  Do you feel him rubbing the back of your head?
[00:23:18]  Are you done with white women?
[00:23:20]  No, no.
[00:23:20]  Are you done with Florida?
[00:23:21]  Oh, you mean Filipino women?
[00:23:22]  Wait, Chelsea's Filipino?
[00:23:24]  Yes.
[00:23:24]  Holy shit.
[00:23:26]  They're everywhere, bro.
[00:23:27]  You fucking knew it.
[00:23:28]  Bro, these are all groundbreakers, man.
[00:23:30]  Huh?
[00:23:31]  Handler.
[00:23:35]  Roll the R, roll the R. Handler.
[00:23:39]  Fuck, I'm so.
[00:23:40]  Dude, I'm batter.
[00:23:40]  I can only roll the R in the beginning of a sentence.
[00:23:43]  I literally have to train myself.
[00:23:45]  I lived in Spain and I couldn't roll the R.
[00:23:46]  So I'd walk down the street just going, and practice every single day.
[00:23:53]  Oh, there you go.
[00:23:54]  Do in the beginning, not the end.
[00:23:55]  Handler, so there's two names, yeah, exactly.
[00:24:01]  Yeah, yeah, her middle name is that was feisty.
[00:24:05]  Okay, good.
[00:24:06]  So, so you're there's a new woman you're in love with, and then how did you guys meet?
[00:24:09]  What is this?
[00:24:09]  There's no one in my life, no one, no, I don't like this because you have so much love to give.
[00:24:15]  You're the one of the sweetest guys ever, you're incredibly talented, and you're too rich to be single.
[00:24:20]  This is the thing, every single day.
[00:24:21]  You're too rich, I'm married.
[00:24:23]  He got married, he wants everyone around.
[00:24:24]  Government, half.
[00:24:26]  Yeah, I have a little bit of fractional.
[00:24:31]  More forums, go conda center twice.
[00:24:36]  You played the volcano in a while.
[00:24:38]  Toyota centered twice.
[00:24:40]  You play the volcano.
[00:24:42]  I was told you're playing a volcano in Hawaii.
[00:24:45]  I played it.
[00:24:46]  I was told.
[00:24:47]  Would you be mad if I told you that I played it?
[00:24:48]  I'm playing it.
[00:24:49]  I would not be mad.
[00:24:51]  I'm actually playing a volcano.
[00:24:53]  It's an amphitheater.
[00:24:54]  Joseph.
[00:24:55]  Yes.
[00:24:56]  Keep going.
[00:24:57]  Because you're going to know if I'm.
[00:25:00]  You think I'm lying?
[00:25:01]  I believe.
[00:25:02]  But you think I'm telling the truth.
[00:25:04]  While we are.
[00:25:05]  You want more to see if I'm lying.
[00:25:07]  Yes.
[00:25:07]  There's an amphitheater in Kauai that's actually inside of a volcano.
[00:25:11]  Get the fuck out.
[00:25:12]  Yeah.
[00:25:13]  Can you remember?
[00:25:13]  We were there.
[00:25:14]  They protested a 20-meter telescope.
[00:25:16]  40,000 seats.
[00:25:17]  It's 40,000 seats.
[00:25:19]  40,000 seats.
[00:25:21]  And that's Hawaiian seats, which are exactly.
[00:25:28]  And I sold that shit out quick.
[00:25:30]  Quick, quick.
[00:25:31]  And where will you put, does your new girls go to the shows?
[00:25:34]  Like, how does that?
[00:25:35]  You mean girls?
[00:25:37]  Oh, she's Mormon too.
[00:25:40]  You are Hawaiian.
[00:25:41]  Let's go.
[00:25:42]  10 Hawaiian girls.
[00:25:43]  Tongans.
[00:25:44]  Tongans are equivalent to 40,000 white women.
[00:25:49]  Conversion rate is high.
[00:25:50]  That's true.
[00:25:50]  It's crazy, man.
[00:25:52]  Get with me, man.
[00:25:53]  Yeah, I feel it.
[00:25:54]  I feel it.
[00:25:55]  Join the team, bro.
[00:25:57]  Join the team.
[00:25:58]  Join the team.
[00:25:59]  You don't have to cut so many cameras, bro.
[00:26:01]  One iPhone.
[00:26:02]  That's all I got.
[00:26:03]  I'm on board.

=== Hawaiian Seats and Conversion Rates (05:07) ===

[00:26:04]  I want you to know.
[00:26:05]  Josh knows.
[00:26:06]  Yeah.
[00:26:07]  I mean, Joe, it's truly remarkable.
[00:26:11]  You're so dumb.
[00:26:14]  You're dumb.
[00:26:15]  You are a dumb.
[00:26:19]  Hold on.
[00:26:19]  No, hold on.
[00:26:21]  Not the journalist glasses.
[00:26:22]  Hold on.
[00:26:22]  She always does.
[00:26:23]  Not for me.
[00:26:24]  Listen, hold on.
[00:26:25]  Hold on now.
[00:26:28]  Joseph, listen.
[00:26:31]  Listen, listen.
[00:26:32]  I want us to have a serious interview.
[00:26:34]  Yeah.
[00:26:35]  Yes.
[00:26:35]  Okay.
[00:26:38]  So we cut the last question.
[00:26:41]  Yeah, yeah.
[00:26:41]  That is, that is, that is that.
[00:26:43]  So look, here it is.
[00:26:45]  In life, were you like the class clown growing up or something?
[00:26:52]  Come on.
[00:26:53]  You are the worst.
[00:26:54]  You're the worst.
[00:26:55]  When are you ready to leave?
[00:26:56]  I'll take you.
[00:26:58]  I'll take you on the road.
[00:27:01]  No.
[00:27:02]  All right, guys.
[00:27:03]  We're going to take a break for a second because, fellas, let's be honest, you don't take care of your skin.
[00:27:07]  That's why it looks like shit.
[00:27:09]  Okay.
[00:27:09]  I know why you don't take care of your skin because you're looking at your girl's skincare routine.
[00:27:13]  She got 50 different potions and formulas she's rubbing on our face every single morning and night.
[00:27:17]  It's too difficult for us.
[00:27:19]  Okay.
[00:27:20]  It's overwhelming.
[00:27:21]  And that's why geology is coming here to save all of our lives, to save all of our epidermi.
[00:27:28]  Okay.
[00:27:29]  This is geology right here.
[00:27:31]  They have a skincare routine for men that's easy.
[00:27:35]  Simple.
[00:27:36]  One in the morning, one at night, and under eye cream.
[00:27:39]  If your under eyes look like mine, they need to get fixed up a little bit.
[00:27:43]  And it's formulated to your skin.
[00:27:45]  Take their little diagnostic quiz.
[00:27:47]  It's literally 30 seconds, and they're going to figure out the exact formula for you.
[00:27:52]  It's going to fight your acne, reduce oiliness, prevent wrinkles, combat dark and puffy under eyes, and I'm not done yet.
[00:27:58]  Okay.
[00:27:59]  Geology is offering you right now an exclusive 70% off offer, but you don't just get their award-winning best-selling eye cream.
[00:28:07]  You get a whole five-piece custom skincare routine that's $50 value for just $15.
[00:28:13]  The eye cream alone retails for $45.
[00:28:16]  This is a hell of a deal.
[00:28:17]  So you go to geology.com.
[00:28:19]  I'm going to help you spell that because some of you are fucking idiots.
[00:28:22]  G-E-O-L-O-G-I-E.com.
[00:28:25]  Take a quick 30-second diagnostic quiz to get your personalized skincare number and use the promo code Flagrant to get your personalized trial set for 70% off.
[00:28:36]  If you don't thank me right now, you will thank me when this shit starts to work and your skin is pristine and girls are salivating over you.
[00:28:44]  And you get to leave that girl you're with now for an even better one, even though she was the one that put you onto geology.
[00:28:50]  It sucks.
[00:28:52]  Sucks to be her.
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=== Recreating the Sound of the Room (15:55) ===

[00:31:11]  Now let's get back to the show.
[00:31:13]  Okay, Joseph.
[00:31:14]  Yes.
[00:31:15]  Just real quick, this Netflix special that's coming out right now.
[00:31:20]  If you could objectively rank it, it's my best one.
[00:31:23]  Really?
[00:31:24]  Wow.
[00:31:24]  It's my best one.
[00:31:25]  Okay.
[00:31:26]  Okay.
[00:31:26]  So then here's my wrote.
[00:31:28]  You know, I was always struggling with my closer on this one.
[00:31:33]  And then it just came right at the last second.
[00:31:36]  I couldn't like, I mean, for like almost a year and a half, I was just like, I can't figure this fucking thing out.
[00:31:44]  I just, I knew what I wanted to say.
[00:31:46]  Story or it's story.
[00:31:48]  Okay.
[00:31:49]  And I knew how I wanted to tie it in, but it just wasn't hitting.
[00:31:53]  Everywhere I went, it was just long.
[00:31:55]  It was too wordy.
[00:31:56]  It was just like I was trying to cut fat and then it wasn't getting what I wanted.
[00:32:01]  I wasn't getting the emotion that I wanted.
[00:32:03]  And then one day, you ever land on that one word that you needed?
[00:32:06]  Yep.
[00:32:07]  It's just one word.
[00:32:08]  It's one fucking word.
[00:32:10]  And it was this one night I hit this word.
[00:32:12]  It just came out of my mouth.
[00:32:13]  I was like, there it is.
[00:32:15]  And I had it.
[00:32:16]  I was like, there it is.
[00:32:17]  I want to ask you the word, but you just gave the best pitch for everybody to go watch the special.
[00:32:23]  So I don't want, I don't want to know the word so that we all go watch the special because I have to go see it.
[00:32:29]  But there's a lot riding on this word.
[00:32:31]  Yeah.
[00:32:34]  No, no.
[00:32:37]  And we'll be right back after these guys.
[00:32:40]  Just imagine.
[00:32:40]  Sorry about that.
[00:32:42]  Sorry about that.
[00:32:44]  Okay, so best special, best special.
[00:32:46]  Now, here's the question.
[00:32:48]  How do you develop now that you're doing, because I'll be honest, I found it hard.
[00:32:53]  Like, this was my first tour where I started to do what I think are bigger venues.
[00:32:57]  They're a fraction of the size of the venues you do, but I think are pretty big.
[00:33:00]  And I found it harder to work out on the road.
[00:33:03]  Yours are big.
[00:33:04]  They're not the fucking volcano in Hawaii.
[00:33:07]  Yeah.
[00:33:08]  Okay.
[00:33:08]  But at the same time, I remember when you were doing this.
[00:33:11]  Dude, I remember watching you go from clubs to theaters to fucking arenas.
[00:33:15]  And I remember seeing that jump.
[00:33:17]  It was really unbelievable.
[00:33:20]  But what I'm curious is, are you working out in clubs?
[00:33:23]  I remember watching you at a club just working out and my mouth dropped.
[00:33:28]  And I hugged you.
[00:33:29]  I hugged you that night.
[00:33:31]  Where were we?
[00:33:31]  It was Gotham.
[00:33:32]  Oh, my God.
[00:33:33]  Yes.
[00:33:34]  This is before I even knew who you were.
[00:33:35]  I didn't even know you were fucking with Charlemagne or anything.
[00:33:38]  And I walked right up to you.
[00:33:39]  I ran up to you.
[00:33:40]  Oh.
[00:33:41]  Yeah.
[00:33:41]  Thank you.
[00:33:42]  And I hugged you and I was just like, you're fucking brilliant.
[00:33:44]  I hugged you tight.
[00:33:45]  I remember that.
[00:33:47]  Yeah, man.
[00:33:47]  When I see someone that's just like extremely...
[00:33:49]  That's a piece of shit, dude.
[00:33:50]  I didn't forget it.
[00:33:52]  I didn't forget it.
[00:33:52]  I didn't, I remember.
[00:33:53]  Yeah, you forgot.
[00:33:54]  It's fine.
[00:33:54]  But I don't know if you're like, dabba, dabba, daba, doo.
[00:33:58]  That's your clothes.
[00:33:59]  I was like, that's the word.
[00:34:01]  He said, yabba, daba, dabba.
[00:34:04]  No, but I remember, I just, I love watching a comic that, I don't know, like, I love comedy so much.
[00:34:13]  And you know when someone's being genuine.
[00:34:15]  And like, and like, you can either have a story to tell that's very genuine or you can be your genuine self on stage.
[00:34:24]  As long as you're doing those two things, then you're, to me, you're a comedian.
[00:34:28]  When I see you, when I can actually see the words on the page come out of your mouth, then I, then I, I stop listening.
[00:34:35]  It feels like you're reading.
[00:34:36]  Yeah, I stop listening to you.
[00:34:37]  And then, and then when I don't see like, uh, like, uh, like, I know when you're ad-living and I know when you're improvising.
[00:34:44]  I know.
[00:34:45]  Yeah, yeah.
[00:34:45]  And I can also watch your act.
[00:34:47]  This is just me.
[00:34:47]  All right.
[00:34:48]  Don't, but I can watch someone's act and I can already write a tag and I can also get a call back in there while you're on stage.
[00:34:55]  Yeah.
[00:34:56]  And when I'm on stage, I like to do that.
[00:34:58]  Yeah.
[00:34:59]  So like when I'm, when I'm talking and it hits, it comes out right away.
[00:35:03]  I don't, I don't censor myself.
[00:35:05]  So when I see that, I, I, I get really excited.
[00:35:08]  Yeah, exactly.
[00:35:09]  Yeah, yeah.
[00:35:10]  Because I remember watching you that night and I was like, oh, this is special.
[00:35:14]  Oh, thank you, man.
[00:35:15]  Yeah.
[00:35:15]  And that was like, I think that was like 10 years ago.
[00:35:18]  Yes, it's probably a while now.
[00:35:19]  Or eight years ago.
[00:35:20]  Yeah.
[00:35:21]  Right?
[00:35:22]  Maybe before you came on Brilliant Idiots for the first time.
[00:35:24]  Yeah.
[00:35:25]  But even then, that was like years after.
[00:35:28]  Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[00:35:28]  I remember hugging you.
[00:35:29]  I still remember what you were wearing.
[00:35:30]  What was I wearing?
[00:35:31]  You were wearing a denim jacket and dark, like dark pants.
[00:35:35]  Yeah.
[00:35:36]  Dark pants and a denim jacket.
[00:35:38]  And you had to hurry up and go to another spot.
[00:35:41]  And I just was like, oh, that guy's good.
[00:35:44]  Dude, there's a lot of guys I see.
[00:35:47]  Saw before the pandemic, I saw.
[00:35:50]  Uh, I was, you know, because I like to go up at like open mics and shit.
[00:35:53]  Dude, that I love that.
[00:35:54]  I saw you go up at one in Hawaii.
[00:35:56]  Yeah, I go up at it.
[00:35:57]  I did one in the Philippines, and it was in the basement.
[00:35:59]  That's like some pool hall.
[00:36:01]  And I went up and then, and then the two guys that went up before me, they were funny.
[00:36:05]  I was like, hey, you want to go up in an arena?
[00:36:07]  And I put them up in my arena.
[00:36:08]  Yeah.
[00:36:09]  That's so cool.
[00:36:10]  How did they do in the arena?
[00:36:12]  They ate shit.
[00:36:14]  But you know what I mean?
[00:36:17]  I gave it a small shot.
[00:36:21]  I just.
[00:36:22]  United States, they ate shit.
[00:36:25]  They ate shit.
[00:36:26]  And he's like, no, no, no, they didn't.
[00:36:27]  They made it all right.
[00:36:28]  They ate all right.
[00:36:29]  That means they bombed.
[00:36:31]  If Joe Boy says you did, all right.
[00:36:33]  You ate your balls.
[00:36:34]  Hold on, hold on, hold on.
[00:36:35]  So wait, you go up and I'll go up anywhere.
[00:36:37]  I know.
[00:36:38]  And then are you doing material?
[00:36:39]  You just riff?
[00:36:40]  No, I'll just riff.
[00:36:40]  Yeah.
[00:36:41]  Are you not worried about the pressure of all these people that admire you?
[00:36:43]  One time I was in Cleveland and I was doing some something and I pulled up my tour bus in front of an open mic.
[00:36:49]  I love it.
[00:36:49]  That's so sick.
[00:36:50]  It was so fun.
[00:36:51]  I got out and it was like, I was next to a TV set.
[00:36:56]  They had like these fold curtains to separate the bar from like where I was going up.
[00:37:00]  And I went up.
[00:37:02]  And then I got everyone on my bus.
[00:37:03]  I put those comics on the bus and then we went and it was fun.
[00:37:08]  But I saw, I was before the pandemic.
[00:37:11]  Before the pandemic, I went to a pool hall, right?
[00:37:14]  Yeah.
[00:37:14]  They were doing open mic and the big pool table in the middle of the room.
[00:37:18]  And then off in the corner is where the microphone was.
[00:37:20]  And I was about to go up.
[00:37:22]  This good looking guy with the mustache, muscular, is just killing it.
[00:37:27]  Killing it.
[00:37:28]  And I was just like, oh, oh, fuck.
[00:37:30]  I don't want to fuck with this guy.
[00:37:32]  Who is this guy?
[00:37:33]  He's crushing.
[00:37:34]  And he gets off stage.
[00:37:35]  I go because I had to go up after him.
[00:37:38]  And then, and he got off stage.
[00:37:39]  I'm going to talk to him when I get off stage.
[00:37:41]  So I went up and I got it and he was gone.
[00:37:43]  And I'm like, I was asking the guy I was with.
[00:37:45]  I was like, do you know, he's a good-looking guy with people.
[00:37:47]  I don't remember his name.
[00:37:48]  And I guess he was just a surprise set, or he just went up.
[00:37:51]  His name wasn't on the list.
[00:37:53]  And no one would tell me his name.
[00:37:54]  And then he haunted me for like six, seven months.
[00:37:57]  And then all of a sudden, I went to Netflix and he pops up.
[00:38:00]  He was on like some stand-up special and it was Mateo Lane.
[00:38:03]  I go, I go, that's him.
[00:38:07]  And then I DM'd him that night.
[00:38:10]  I DM'd him.
[00:38:11]  I go, bro, you're fucking brilliant.
[00:38:13]  And when this pandemic's done, I want to fuck with you.
[00:38:16]  Yeah.
[00:38:17]  And seriously.
[00:38:18]  This is how progressive you are.
[00:38:20]  That Mateo Lane you describe as handsome with a mustache and not gay.
[00:38:26]  And I go, I want to fuck after that.
[00:38:28]  And we remained friends during the pandemic.
[00:38:31]  We love Mateo.
[00:38:32]  Yeah, he was incredible.
[00:38:33]  And then I had him open for me at Brooklyn.
[00:38:36]  And then he's going to open for me at Madison Square Gardens.
[00:38:40]  When are you involved in?
[00:38:41]  I want to come to that.
[00:38:42]  November 10th.
[00:38:43]  You have to buy a ticket.
[00:38:45]  I'll support.
[00:38:47]  I'll do whatever I can.
[00:38:48]  No, I love you to be there.
[00:38:50]  Are you there before UFC?
[00:38:51]  Oh, that's the weekend of the big fight.
[00:38:54]  The 10th is Thursday, right?
[00:38:56]  I don't know.
[00:38:57]  Oh, yeah, it is.
[00:38:58]  It is.
[00:38:58]  Yeah, yeah.
[00:38:58]  He's like, Izzy, stylebender.
[00:39:00]  Oh, Izzy?
[00:39:01]  Yeah.
[00:39:01]  Oh, man.
[00:39:02]  I love him.
[00:39:02]  Stay in town.
[00:39:03]  Yeah.
[00:39:03]  Come watch the fight.
[00:39:05]  Well, you have other shows.
[00:39:07]  It's that weekend, right?
[00:39:08]  Yeah.
[00:39:08]  So you're there Thursday.
[00:39:09]  Yeah, I'm gone.
[00:39:10]  You have to leave.
[00:39:11]  Yeah.
[00:39:12]  He has other arenas to do.
[00:39:13]  Yeah.
[00:39:14]  Of course.
[00:39:15]  Can you tell the story real quick about some more guys?
[00:39:19]  Oh, yeah, yeah.
[00:39:20]  Go going.
[00:39:20]  J.R. DeGuzman, Andrew Lopez.
[00:39:23]  Andrew, Asif Ali, and of course, Mateo Lane.
[00:39:28]  Those are my favorites.
[00:39:30]  Those guys make me, ooh.
[00:39:32]  Like Beth Stelling.
[00:39:34]  Like those, when I see them, I'm like, ooh, I like that.
[00:39:37]  I like what they're doing.
[00:39:38]  Can you, okay, now can you tell a story?
[00:39:41]  Yeah, yeah.
[00:39:42]  Okay.
[00:39:42]  Yeah.
[00:39:42]  So is it going to be a real one?
[00:39:43]  No, this is this is well.
[00:39:46]  You got to tell me when.
[00:39:47]  This is a real story.
[00:39:48]  Would you want this to be a real?
[00:39:49]  This is a real story.
[00:39:51]  This is a real story.
[00:39:52]  This is, okay, ready?
[00:39:53]  Okay.
[00:39:53]  We're going to, I'm, okay.
[00:39:55]  Um, now I feel pressure to do a fake one.
[00:40:00]  But it was real that I, what I wanted before.
[00:40:03]  Yeah.
[00:40:03]  Okay.
[00:40:03]  It's the story about when you were, I think, taping the Netflix special for the first one and you didn't like the first set.
[00:40:10]  And then the second set, you just kind of like winged it in the beginning.
[00:40:14]  Yeah.
[00:40:14]  The first set, I was so pissed.
[00:40:16]  Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[00:40:17]  That's when I cried.
[00:40:18]  And this is when you put up all the money.
[00:40:19]  Okay.
[00:40:20]  We're not going to buy it.
[00:40:21]  So you have nowhere to go.
[00:40:22]  I had nowhere to go.
[00:40:23]  And then the first set, it was just everything was fucked up, man.
[00:40:26]  That's why if you're going to tape, right?
[00:40:29]  The cool thing about that is I learned everything.
[00:40:31]  Yeah.
[00:40:32]  And it's just like, you know, well, you shot your special, right?
[00:40:36]  Yeah.
[00:40:36]  And like, you know, like you learn things.
[00:40:38]  Like you watch other specials.
[00:40:40]  We did four shows on purpose.
[00:40:41]  Yeah, you have to.
[00:40:43]  I might be an entire audience.
[00:40:45]  You know that, right?
[00:40:45]  You have to.
[00:40:46]  Yeah, you have to.
[00:40:47]  I had microphones in the second balcony, all the way to the back.
[00:40:50]  Smart.
[00:40:51]  That's why people go, oh, he's got a laugh track.
[00:40:52]  I was like, no, motherfucker.
[00:40:53]  I got everyone's laughter on tape.
[00:40:56]  100%.
[00:40:56]  I got it.
[00:40:57]  Yeah.
[00:40:57]  So, but like, I remember we shot that first one.
[00:41:00]  That's so smart, by the way, because sometimes comics put out these specials and it sounds like their bottom line.
[00:41:05]  They're picking up all the audio from their handheld.
[00:41:07]  It's like, what are you doing?
[00:41:08]  You need to recreate the sound of the room.
[00:41:10]  The only way to do that is to have microphones in every fucking room.
[00:41:14]  And it's so funny because I studied every, like, I only watched the specials that I enjoyed watching to learn how to shoot my special.
[00:41:22]  And what I fell in love with on sound was Dana Carvey's.
[00:41:28]  I saw Dana Carvey's.
[00:41:29]  I go, this doesn't sound real.
[00:41:32]  I go, what is this?
[00:41:33]  Like, this, I feel like I'm there.
[00:41:35]  And then I gave it to my sound engineer.
[00:41:39]  And he goes, oh, he just added more mics.
[00:41:42]  Because that's easy.
[00:41:42]  Dude, he goes, most specials, they only do like two boom mics on the stage.
[00:41:47]  That's stupid.
[00:41:47]  Because they just get in those front people throughout the whole thing.
[00:41:50]  And it doesn't sound full.
[00:41:51]  He goes, Dana went all the way to the back.
[00:41:53]  And I go, well, whatever Dana got, double it.
[00:41:56]  You know who else did fucking amazing sound design was when Burr did the theater in England, the Royal Albert or something like that.
[00:42:03]  Nice.
[00:42:03]  And I thought, because the bigger the venue, the harder it is to do this.
[00:42:06]  Way harder, yeah.
[00:42:07]  Because you're starting to catch the echo of the mic as well as the audience.
[00:42:10]  And you got to like, you know, find a way to separate those two, whatever.
[00:42:15]  But, and the way that he did his in a venue that size with great acoustics, sometimes venues that have good acoustics.
[00:42:23]  I don't understand that.
[00:42:24]  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
[00:42:25]  Dude, like, I play, like, I'll play, I'm sorry to switch, right?
[00:42:28]  I just don't understand.
[00:42:29]  We live in a time where we got computers, everything that you need.
[00:42:35]  You can base the design of your room just by going to the perfect theater.
[00:42:38]  Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[00:42:39]  Okay, you guys have perfect sound.
[00:42:41]  Okay, let's get the best engineers and let's figure this out and we'll make it over here.
[00:42:44]  No one wants to do that.
[00:42:45]  You go to San Antonio, it's like you're playing in a fucking ice cake.
[00:42:50]  It's like, what is wrong in here?
[00:42:51]  I put every fucking microphone in here.
[00:42:53]  We bought extra speakers.
[00:42:55]  We brought everything.
[00:42:55]  And it sounds awful.
[00:42:58]  And then you go to Phoenix.
[00:43:00]  I'm just telling you right now, you go to Phoenix and you play.
[00:43:02]  The one way around?
[00:43:03]  No, no.
[00:43:04]  That's celebrity.
[00:43:06]  I play Arena's.
[00:43:06]  I'm sorry.
[00:43:07]  That's right.
[00:43:08]  I'm so sorry.
[00:43:08]  Where they play basketball?
[00:43:09]  Oh, yeah, I got where the convention is.
[00:43:13]  So silly.
[00:43:14]  Yeah, The Suns.
[00:43:16]  The Suns.
[00:43:17]  Or the Suns play.
[00:43:18]  The Sunsplace.
[00:43:18]  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
[00:43:19]  Are you talking about the Tempe improv?
[00:43:23]  No, that is the best venue I've ever been in.
[00:43:28]  Interesting.
[00:43:28]  Really?
[00:43:28]  Yeah.
[00:43:29]  It was incredible.
[00:43:30]  I couldn't believe it.
[00:43:31]  It felt like I was playing a comedy club.
[00:43:34]  I forget what it's called, but where the Suns play.
[00:43:35]  Yeah, where the Suns plays.
[00:43:36]  It's incredible.
[00:43:38]  Yeah, yeah.
[00:43:39]  Yeah.
[00:43:40]  Never mind.
[00:43:41]  No, you're doing that thing.
[00:43:42]  No, I'm not doing things.
[00:43:43]  No, you're doing this.
[00:43:44]  This is incredibly important to me.
[00:43:45]  The sound for a comedy special specifically.
[00:43:48]  Yeah.
[00:43:48]  He's obsessive about it.
[00:43:50]  Good.
[00:43:51]  I am absolutely obsessed with it.
[00:43:53]  And even when I started putting out clips originally, I was like, yeah, this is the differentiating factor.
[00:43:59]  It's like, well, well, obviously you need to have the jokes and all these things need to be there.
[00:44:02]  But if I feel like energy exchange between comic and audience is integral to enjoying it at home.
[00:44:07]  And if the comic looks like he's giving too much and the audience isn't giving enough, even if they are, but it feels as if they're not, there's this awkwardness that you feel.
[00:44:16]  Yes.
[00:44:16]  And I don't ever want somebody at home to feel that awkwardness.
[00:44:19]  And I'll say people who get it, sorry, but the people who get it and who have done it well done well, the comics who've done it well, the people who watch the special don't realize what's happening.
[00:44:30]  They just go, I just really loved watching that.
[00:44:33]  It's an unconscious reaction for them.
[00:44:36]  And that's something that we need to be aware of.
[00:44:38]  Yeah.
[00:44:39]  Because they don't know exactly what's happening.
[00:44:40]  They don't know they're being brought into the room.
[00:44:42]  Literally, the beginning of the special that we just put out, the first few lines is, turn up the volume on your TV.
[00:44:48]  It's specifically been designed to bring you into the room.
[00:44:51]  And yeah, I just love that you paid attention to it like that.
[00:44:56]  And I also think that sometimes the old rooms.
[00:44:58]  I like how you light up your room.
[00:44:59]  Okay, go on that.
[00:45:01]  Well, I just know that one, your crowd work is spot on.
[00:45:04]  That's like your signature.
[00:45:07]  You'll, by the way, oh, my crowd work is fucking amazing.
[00:45:10]  No, yours.
[00:45:11]  I was just about to say.
[00:45:12]  Where's my camera?
[00:45:13]  I was just about to say that's over there.
[00:45:15]  Yeah, it's right back there.
[00:45:15]  Yeah, my crowd work is amazing.
[00:45:19]  I don't know which one to look at.
[00:45:20]  They're all red.
[00:45:20]  So absolutely kill it.
[00:45:22]  So this one?
[00:45:23]  Yeah, just that one.
[00:45:24]  Just look at that camera right there.
[00:45:30]  But yeah, you have to light them.
[00:45:31]  Whoopsie on, what a shame.
[00:45:35]  You have to show them.
[00:45:35]  But I think sometimes the old venues that have the acoustics, they're basically built before technology.
[00:45:43]  Yeah.
[00:45:43]  They were built when people were just talking to a thousand people or 2,000 people.
[00:45:47]  Now you don't have to deal with these things.
[00:45:48]  But sometimes when you put speakers in there, because the acoustics were so good naturally, it echoes like crazy when you add the speakers.
[00:45:56]  That's the tricky thing.
[00:45:57]  That one's tricky.
[00:45:58]  But with the sons, it's a lot easier.
[00:46:00]  Yeah.
[00:46:00]  Because they're used to loud noises.
[00:46:02]  But then there's also those venues that were made like 70 years ago, and it's just like fucking perfect.
[00:46:07]  Well, when did we get like Bob Hope Theater, I think it's called, in like, I don't know where it's at, but I just remember talking to the guy.
[00:46:14]  I'm like, how old is it?
[00:46:15]  He's like, Charlie Chaplin used to perform here.
[00:46:17]  And I'm just like, this is incredible.
[00:46:19]  He didn't like that.
[00:46:20]  Yeah, he was silent.
[00:46:20]  How do they even, why would they have no sound?
[00:46:22]  He wasn't mute.
[00:46:23]  Yeah.
[00:46:23]  He was a mute.
[00:46:24]  Do you think he was a mute person?
[00:46:26]  Look at me.
[00:46:26]  Look at me.
[00:46:26]  Hey.
[00:46:29]  Hey, Joseph.
[00:46:30]  That was maybe the worst example of a performer that you could have possibly used for sound.
[00:46:36]  Do you know what I mean?
[00:46:37]  They captured his awesome.
[00:46:39]  I got every footstep.
[00:46:44]  He had the whole Charlie Chaplin.
[00:46:45]  That's his whole thing.
[00:46:46]  Yeah.
[00:46:47]  Joseph, don't you?
[00:46:50]  I'm not going to say this, but I think he also did Charlie Chaplin, like an unplugged, which was like a reverse.
[00:46:56]  Where he actually spoke.
[00:46:57]  Like a Nirvana doing anything.
[00:46:58]  It was like, you know what I mean?
[00:46:59]  He's like, I know you guys, you came to see me live.
[00:47:03]  Yeah.
[00:47:03]  You don't want to see me quiet because that's what you always see.

=== Charlie Chaplin Unplugged (04:43) ===

[00:47:06]  This is me.
[00:47:07]  Hi, I'm Charlie.
[00:47:09]  Oh, shit.
[00:47:10]  Yeah.
[00:47:10]  And they have that.
[00:47:11]  It's on Blu-ray.
[00:47:12]  I was also wild to see an Asian person go, Hi, I'm Charlie.
[00:47:22]  But yeah, shout outs to Charlie Chaplin, dude.
[00:47:25]  Big inspiration for you.
[00:47:27]  He was one of the reasons why I do stand up.
[00:47:30]  Yeah.
[00:47:35]  Now I see.
[00:47:36]  He was, dude.
[00:47:37]  You know what I mean?
[00:47:38]  Yeah, man.
[00:47:39]  Okay.
[00:47:39]  Can I ask a question?
[00:47:40]  Yeah.
[00:47:40]  Okay.
[00:47:42]  If not stand-up, is there any other form of entertainment that you think that you would succeed in?
[00:47:52]  Directing.
[00:47:54]  So behind the camera, what about in front of the camera?
[00:47:58]  I like it.
[00:47:59]  I don't mind it, but I really love stand-up.
[00:48:03]  Yeah.
[00:48:03]  And if I'm going to be in front of the camera, I want to perform that way.
[00:48:06]  Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[00:48:07]  But behind the camera, I love it.
[00:48:09]  Do you want to direct stand-up specials for other people?
[00:48:12]  Yeah.
[00:48:12]  We're already in the works.
[00:48:13]  Really?
[00:48:14]  Wow.
[00:48:14]  Yeah.
[00:48:14]  Can we talk about whom?
[00:48:16]  Well, after, no, we can't.
[00:48:17]  But yeah, we want to get these deals done.
[00:48:21]  Yes.
[00:48:21]  And I'm going to knock it out of the park because I'm going to do it the right way.
[00:48:25]  Yes.
[00:48:25]  Yeah.
[00:48:25]  Do you get it?
[00:48:26]  Yeah.
[00:48:26]  You do get it.
[00:48:27]  I love watching.
[00:48:28]  What you did was incredible, man.
[00:48:29]  That was cool.
[00:48:30]  Thank you, man.
[00:48:31]  Yeah.
[00:48:31]  And yours was awesome.
[00:48:33]  Thank you, buddies.
[00:48:33]  Thank you.
[00:48:35]  I love it when people share the light, you know?
[00:48:39]  Yeah.
[00:48:39]  It's beautiful.
[00:48:40]  I like seeing you with the platform that you have and the, what do you call this?
[00:48:47]  This is beyond.
[00:48:48]  I don't even know what this is.
[00:48:49]  What you've built is just amazing.
[00:48:51]  We built it.
[00:48:51]  This is a big thing.
[00:48:52]  I know, but you say that all the time.
[00:48:55]  And I love that, man.
[00:48:57]  That's so cool.
[00:48:58]  And your team is what makes you who you are.
[00:49:01]  It's fun that way.
[00:49:02]  That's cool.
[00:49:02]  Yeah, man.
[00:49:03]  Like, I don't understand these gatekeepers, bro.
[00:49:05]  Yeah.
[00:49:06]  That old school mentality is just so lame.
[00:49:08]  I'm so sick of it.
[00:49:09]  I wish you would shout out your team more.
[00:49:11]  That was one of the things that I thought about.
[00:49:14]  Well, you were on my team.
[00:49:15]  And then what happened?
[00:49:17]  Man, you...
[00:49:18]  Too specific, right?
[00:49:19]  Too specific, bro.
[00:49:21]  I don't like Filipinos, bro.
[00:49:25]  Dude, I really thought Ted Serranos was Filipino, man.
[00:49:28]  You said that.
[00:49:29]  Because the name could be Filipino.
[00:49:30]  Yeah.
[00:49:31]  Except his face.
[00:49:32]  Oh, but I've never seen his face.
[00:49:34]  Yeah, yeah.
[00:49:34]  Oh, you haven't?
[00:49:35]  No.
[00:49:36]  No, it's not like that.
[00:49:36]  Ted's very nice, by the way.
[00:49:37]  No, he's a great guy.
[00:49:39]  Yes, yes.
[00:49:39]  I like him.
[00:49:41]  Ted is a figment of my imagination.
[00:49:43]  He exists in the ether somewhere.
[00:49:46]  But it's okay.
[00:49:46]  You know what I mean?
[00:49:47]  Stop price radio.
[00:49:52]  Ted's an animal, right?
[00:49:54]  He's just an animal, dude.
[00:49:57]  Ukraine or Russia?
[00:50:01]  How many more commercial breaks can we do?
[00:50:03]  That's an easy one, though.
[00:50:05]  That's actually an easy one.
[00:50:06]  Yeah, like, have you thought about which side you're on?
[00:50:08]  It's got a pretty clear side there.
[00:50:09]  Yeah, man.
[00:50:10]  Yeah.
[00:50:10]  Yeah, man.
[00:50:11]  Yeah, man.
[00:50:13]  You know what I mean?
[00:50:15]  Right?
[00:50:16]  That's the best way to answer a tough question.
[00:50:18]  Jesus.
[00:50:19]  Yeah, man.
[00:50:19]  Yeah.
[00:50:20]  Totally, dude.
[00:50:22]  Totally, dude.
[00:50:23]  I totally.
[00:50:24]  Ukraine and Russia.
[00:50:26]  100.
[00:50:27]  100, dude.
[00:50:28]  Like, you know?
[00:50:29]  Yeah.
[00:50:32]  That is, that is, hey, what is your favorite number?
[00:50:35]  Mine?
[00:50:36]  Yeah.
[00:50:36]  You know what it is.
[00:50:37]  What is it?
[00:50:39]  Seven.
[00:50:40]  Is it?
[00:50:41]  No.
[00:50:43]  But isn't there like a superstition in the world?
[00:50:47]  Oh, I knew that this was going to go somewhere when I started this line of questions.
[00:50:51]  Because you saw the eight on my arms?
[00:50:53]  Yes.
[00:50:53]  Did you see what I just did?
[00:50:55]  I chosen one.
[00:50:56]  Listen.
[00:50:58]  Okay.
[00:50:59]  You chose the wrong number.
[00:51:01]  Why is seven the most dangerous number?
[00:51:04]  I don't know.
[00:51:05]  Because seven, eight, nine, fucking.
[00:51:06]  Wow.
[00:51:07]  Oh, you go.
[00:51:08]  You go idiot.
[00:51:10]  I fall back.
[00:51:11]  I pulled back.
[00:51:12]  I fall back.
[00:51:13]  Remember what I said earlier?
[00:51:14]  I don't like those guys.
[00:51:15]  I know.
[00:51:16]  I fucking pulled back.
[00:51:17]  I don't like second guess myself.
[00:51:20]  Fuck.
[00:51:20]  Dude.
[00:51:21]  I like you too much.
[00:51:23]  I can't be mean.
[00:51:25]  Okay.
[00:51:26]  But that is a very astute observation of mine.
[00:51:29]  Yes.
[00:51:31]  You want to ask him why?
[00:51:33]  Wait, why is eight your favorite number?
[00:51:35]  I don't know.
[00:51:36]  I always liked eight.
[00:51:38]  I like the infinity aspect of it that it looks, but it's also my birth number.
[00:51:43]  Like all my numbers add up to eight.
[00:51:45]  So my birthday adds up to eight.
[00:51:47]  So I just like eight.
[00:51:49]  That's my number.

=== Why Seven Is Dangerous (03:53) ===

[00:51:50]  Yeah.
[00:51:50]  Okay.
[00:51:51]  I didn't think we were going to get sunglasses.
[00:51:53]  Oh, yeah.
[00:51:54]  Oh, yeah.
[00:51:54]  I need bosses.
[00:51:55]  No, man.
[00:51:55]  Fucking sunglasses koi is something.
[00:51:59]  What do you think?
[00:52:00]  Yeah, those glasses, please.
[00:52:01]  Can I see which type these are?
[00:52:06]  Black or black label.
[00:52:09]  Oh.
[00:52:10]  Oh, shit, bro.
[00:52:11]  Oh.
[00:52:12]  Yo, do you know what I like that?
[00:52:14]  I own these, by the way.
[00:52:15]  I know.
[00:52:15]  I assume the company?
[00:52:17]  Yeah.
[00:52:17]  I assume.
[00:52:18]  This is mine.
[00:52:19]  I assumed he asked for a reason, you know?
[00:52:21]  Oh, that's nice.
[00:52:22]  I'm just doing this because you're doing it.
[00:52:23]  All right.
[00:52:24]  I feel like an asshole.
[00:52:25]  No, no, no, you're not.
[00:52:26]  We're all together.
[00:52:29]  I mean, you, wow, you're fucking intimidating with those glasses on.
[00:52:33]  Thank you.
[00:52:33]  My eyes are closed, by the way.
[00:52:36]  I can see they're not.
[00:52:37]  That was a racist joke you made.
[00:52:40]  Listen, Joe.
[00:52:41]  I can't do this.
[00:52:42]  I can't.
[00:52:42]  I can't.
[00:52:43]  Come on.
[00:52:43]  I get it.
[00:52:44]  Joe, can we do it for the culture?
[00:52:46]  Yes.
[00:52:47]  All right, guys.
[00:52:47]  We're going to take a break for a second because some of y'all stink, smell like ass walking around your mother's house, disrespecting her.
[00:52:52]  Okay.
[00:52:53]  I know you're upset because she got a new man and you're trying to stink him out.
[00:52:56]  You're trying to stink up that house so bad that he stops smashing your mom's back out.
[00:53:01]  But it's not going to happen.
[00:53:03]  What you need to do is smell so good, he starts smashing yours out.
[00:53:07]  Okay.
[00:53:07]  And this is how you're going to do it.
[00:53:08]  You're going to do it with native deodorant.
[00:53:11]  All right.
[00:53:12]  Native has got your back.
[00:53:13]  Okay.
[00:53:14]  Your shower routine, it's a routine.
[00:53:16]  You hop in quickly, lather up, rinse, then you hurry on with your day.
[00:53:20]  It's not like your mom and you know what I mean, and your soon-to-be stepdad are in there, right?
[00:53:25]  They're in there for 30 minutes, minimum.
[00:53:30]  That's what you're hearing, right?
[00:53:32]  Lather it up, of course.
[00:53:34]  Afterwards, because they got a lot to clean off.
[00:53:37]  Point is, native has your back, and your stepdad got your mom's.
[00:53:41]  They got body washes that will make that time in the shower less routine and level up that shower game.
[00:53:47]  Native's clean, effective body wash only uses simple ingredients that help cleanse your skin.
[00:53:53]  All native body wash is free of any sulfates, phthalates, dyes.
[00:53:59]  Okay, it's purified, plant-based, vegan, and cruelty-free and contains only gentle cleansing ingredients.
[00:54:09]  Unlike other body washes that use sulfates to create a rich lather or your stepdad, Native Body Wash offers that rich lather without the use of sulfates.
[00:54:20]  Native body wash leaves your skin moisturized, silky, smooth, and residue-free.
[00:54:24]  When you shower with Native, you will smell amazing long after your shower, thanks to their long-lasting scents.
[00:54:31]  Want to smell spicy and woodsy or clean and fresh?
[00:54:34]  Native has a scent option for every single person.
[00:54:39]  They got the warm cider and cinnamon, cashmere and rain, toasted marshmallow and vanilla, wild wood, and cardamom.
[00:54:46]  Whose mom?
[00:54:48]  Yours, bro.
[00:54:49]  Point is, native has got your back and they got more to offer.
[00:54:53]  They also got the amazing deodorants and the toothpaste.
[00:54:55]  Treat yourself to the ultimate self-care package, okay?
[00:54:59]  Because every single morning, we know you're getting woken up by that alarm.
[00:55:02]  Stepdad blasting out your mom.
[00:55:04]  Clap, right?
[00:55:09]  And you can't hit snooze on that, can you?
[00:55:11]  No.
[00:55:12]  You got to start your day.
[00:55:14]  You got to start your day right there.
[00:55:16]  So upgrade your shower routine with native body wash right now.
[00:55:20]  Go to nativedo.com/slash flagrant or use the promo code flagrant at checkout.
[00:55:26]  And you're going to get 40% off your first three packs of native body wash.
[00:55:30]  That's native D-E-O.com/slash flagrant, or use the promo code flagrant to check out to get 40% off your first three packs of native body wash.
[00:55:39]  Native DEO.com/slash flagrant or use the promo code flagrant.

=== Not Losing Your Wallet (02:13) ===

[00:55:43]  Now, let's get back to the show.
[00:55:44]  Exter just changed the game a goddamn one more time.
[00:55:47]  Look at this shit right here.
[00:55:48]  They got the leather.
[00:55:50]  I know before they had that beautiful, strong, unbreakable plastic.
[00:55:56]  Now they got the leather.
[00:55:57]  If you want to keep it classy on a date and you think you're going to lose your wallet or you think the girl you're on a date with is going to steal it, thieving ass bitch.
[00:56:06]  What you got to do is put the air tag in there.
[00:56:09]  If you're out here with these thieves, okay?
[00:56:12]  Bow.
[00:56:13]  Wallet.
[00:56:14]  All those cards.
[00:56:16]  Put them back in.
[00:56:17]  Close it.
[00:56:17]  Slide it.
[00:56:18]  Air tag if need be.
[00:56:20]  Best wallets in the motherfucking business.
[00:56:22]  Okay.
[00:56:22]  RFID protected.
[00:56:24]  That means no boop.
[00:56:25]  Somebody walks with you with that beep machine.
[00:56:27]  They try to take all your information.
[00:56:29]  Not going to happen.
[00:56:30]  Protected from it right there.
[00:56:32]  You lose it.
[00:56:33]  They're tracking it worldwide.
[00:56:34]  You're not losing your wallet.
[00:56:36]  You're not losing your wallet.
[00:56:37]  I'm telling you.
[00:56:39]  Okay.
[00:56:39]  You just call that shit if you lose it.
[00:56:40]  Worse than Google Home, Alexa Siri, all that shit.
[00:56:43]  What I'm trying to say is it's the best wallet in the business.
[00:56:46]  It's the safest wallet in the business.
[00:56:48]  It's the hardest wallet to steal in the business.
[00:56:51]  So if you're out here with these trifling ass thoughts that are trying to steal your wallet, shit, they bet you better learn about what an Apple Air tag is.
[00:57:00]  Okay.
[00:57:00]  They better learn about what an Apple Air tag is because you're tagged.
[00:57:04]  You're tagged.
[00:57:05]  They're not going to get far.
[00:57:06]  They're not going to get far.
[00:57:07]  That's all I'm trying to say.
[00:57:08]  They're not going to get far because Exter's got your back.
[00:57:11]  So right now, you're going to go check out these wallets at Xther.com.
[00:57:14]  That's E-K-S-T-E-R.com.
[00:57:17]  And you're going to get up to 20% off site-wide with the code flagrant.
[00:57:20]  That's 20% off.
[00:57:22]  Savings.
[00:57:23]  Okay.
[00:57:23]  Think about the savings you're going to get with all these girls you sleep with not going to be able to steal your wallet.
[00:57:27]  That's 20% on top of that.
[00:57:30]  Let's get back to the show.
[00:57:31]  I have a question.
[00:57:32]  I'm curious.
[00:57:33]  Has there ever been someone that came to you?
[00:57:35]  Yes.
[00:57:36]  Has there ever been a person that came to your shows that really meant a lot to you?
[00:57:39]  Like you're doing this big arena and all of a sudden you find out, oh my God, this person just showed up.
[00:57:44]  I think my favorite, I think my personal favorite is Chris asking about me, Chris Rock.
[00:57:51]  Oh, really?
[00:57:52]  That was like my moving.

=== Thigh Meat and Motorcycle Accidents (11:30) ===

[00:57:56]  These are the editors upstairs.
[00:57:58]  They get rowed.
[00:57:59]  Did they physically edit?
[00:58:01]  Yeah, they did.
[00:58:03]  He's a mouse.
[00:58:04]  Yeah, they're chopping chains.
[00:58:06]  It's a straight-edge cover.
[00:58:08]  Yeah, exactly.
[00:58:09]  It's actual film.
[00:58:09]  Yeah, it's analog, you know?
[00:58:10]  It's more, it's more honest.
[00:58:12]  No, Chris, that was my favorite.
[00:58:14]  What was this?
[00:58:15]  It was in the city, and he just was asking.
[00:58:20]  He was asking my agent.
[00:58:22]  I guess we have the same agent or something.
[00:58:26]  And then he came up and we were talking.
[00:58:28]  And I thought that was just like, oh, fuck.
[00:58:30]  Yes.
[00:58:31]  You don't know what you did for me.
[00:58:34]  You know what I mean?
[00:58:34]  You don't know what Bringing the Pain did for me.
[00:58:36]  Yeah.
[00:58:37]  And how far along were you when he came up to you?
[00:58:39]  That was just recently.
[00:58:40]  Oh, really?
[00:58:41]  Yeah, that was like two years ago.
[00:58:44]  And I was just like, wow.
[00:58:46]  Was he looking for a muscular guy with a mustache?
[00:58:48]  That's the way he wanted it.
[00:58:49]  Yeah.
[00:58:49]  He went, Chulks?
[00:58:51]  No, no.
[00:58:53]  I got to think of a different Filipino guy.
[00:58:56]  I'm Filipino, bro.
[00:58:57]  Huh?
[00:58:58]  I'm Filipino, dude.
[00:58:59]  Bro, we're going to do it.
[00:58:59]  What about you, Filipino?
[00:59:01]  What do you mean?
[00:59:01]  Nothing about you is Filipino.
[00:59:02]  You don't box?
[00:59:03]  Okay, that's a little Filipino.
[00:59:05]  I dance.
[00:59:06]  That's one Filipino, to be honest with you.
[00:59:08]  That's one Filipino.
[00:59:09]  I think Filipinos are excellent boxers.
[00:59:10]  Brian Valoria.
[00:59:11]  Yeah.
[00:59:12]  The Hawaiian Punch.
[00:59:13]  Yep.
[00:59:14]  Okay.
[00:59:14]  The Hawaiian Punch.
[00:59:16]  That's his name.
[00:59:17]  You know, Brian.
[00:59:17]  Yeah, man.
[00:59:18]  It's a beast.
[00:59:19]  Yes.
[00:59:19]  Okay.
[00:59:20]  So other than fighting and boxing.
[00:59:21]  I mean, ethnically or not.
[00:59:23]  Fighting and boxing are also the same thing.
[00:59:25]  I think Filipino is more of like a feeling.
[00:59:27]  Yeah.
[00:59:28]  That's that.
[00:59:28]  Yes.
[00:59:29]  Yeah.
[00:59:29]  That's what I feel.
[00:59:30]  If you feel a Filipino, Filipino.
[00:59:33]  If you feel Filipino.
[00:59:34]  I feel Filipino.
[00:59:35]  When I'm around you, I feel at home.
[00:59:37]  That's how I feel about you.
[00:59:39]  That's why we're fucking Filipino.
[00:59:40]  That's why we're all Filipinos.
[00:59:42]  Is it true that Filipinos sometimes wipe with the rock in the bucket?
[00:59:45]  Is that a thing?
[00:59:45]  I need this guy to leave.
[00:59:48]  I'm curious.
[00:59:49]  I'm not doing the show until you're a culture.
[00:59:51]  I need this guy to leave right now.
[00:59:52]  Because I'm a cracker.
[00:59:55]  You wipe off your hands, which is a little Filipino also of you.
[00:59:59]  I don't wipe with my hand.
[01:00:00]  I wipe with a rock.
[01:00:02]  I use the rock in the bucket, dude.
[01:00:04]  Is that what you do?
[01:00:04]  Yes, I do.
[01:00:05]  Don't you for the dingle bellies and shit?
[01:00:08]  Yeah, the hard parts.
[01:00:09]  Yeah.
[01:00:09]  What do you wipe with?
[01:00:10]  Charmin?
[01:00:11]  Yeah.
[01:00:12]  I use a wet wipe, okay?
[01:00:14]  Dude, it's like the first world.
[01:00:15]  It's like, how comfy does wiping your ass need to be?
[01:00:18]  Yeah.
[01:00:19]  A little.
[01:00:20]  Yeah, exactly.
[01:00:21]  You know, I use a bidet.
[01:00:25]  See?
[01:00:26]  Thank you.
[01:00:27]  That's very Asian of you.
[01:00:28]  Really?
[01:00:29]  Yeah.
[01:00:30]  Geez up.
[01:00:31]  I respect that.
[01:00:31]  G's up.
[01:00:32]  Where's my camera?
[01:00:33]  This one right here.
[01:00:34]  Oh, you told me this stuff.
[01:00:38]  Right there.
[01:00:38]  Are you really bidet?
[01:00:40]  Yeah, yeah.
[01:00:41]  Oh, come on.
[01:00:42]  You don't have one?
[01:00:43]  I enjoy it too much.
[01:00:44]  I just started putting dick on it and stuff like that.
[01:00:47]  It's crazy, man.
[01:00:47]  You'd wash the front.
[01:00:49]  Yep.
[01:00:49]  He actually has one.
[01:00:50]  He would wash it.
[01:00:51]  He would wipe your ass and wash your dick.
[01:00:53]  He sits backwards a lot of that.
[01:00:54]  That's how Andrew would do it.
[01:00:55]  Like that.
[01:00:56]  Reverse.
[01:00:57]  Wash my dick.
[01:00:58]  Reverse cowgirl.
[01:00:58]  I go reverse cowgirl every single time.
[01:01:01]  No, you just sit like this.
[01:01:03]  Just wash your little dick right there.
[01:01:05]  And then you'd wipe your ass like that.
[01:01:07]  What does that mean?
[01:01:07]  Little dick.
[01:01:09]  Little dick is not describing how big it is.
[01:01:11]  Oh, I thought it just sounded like it's just funnier to say little dick.
[01:01:14]  Oh, okay.
[01:01:14]  All right.
[01:01:15]  He actually had a bidet and he couldn't install it.
[01:01:17]  Yeah, I didn't know how to install it.
[01:01:18]  I'm a Filipino, dude.
[01:01:21]  I'm not an installer of things.
[01:01:22]  No, you're not.
[01:01:23]  I'm a fixer.
[01:01:24]  We're fixing people.
[01:01:25]  You fix things.
[01:01:26]  I fix.
[01:01:27]  Yes, you do.
[01:01:28]  Duh.
[01:01:29]  That's one of the things.
[01:01:31]  Yeah.
[01:01:32]  You know what I mean?
[01:01:33]  Right?
[01:01:34]  Can we tell everybody about us?
[01:01:35]  Because that's the thing.
[01:01:36]  What's your favorite Filipino cuisine?
[01:01:37]  You know, Filipinos love their food.
[01:01:39]  Gluckluck.
[01:01:40]  3000.
[01:01:42]  Gluckluck 3000?
[01:01:43]  That is my favorite.
[01:01:44]  What is a Gluckluck 3000?
[01:01:46]  What is a what?
[01:01:47]  What?
[01:01:47]  What are you talking about?
[01:01:49]  That's a video game.
[01:01:50]  No, it isn't.
[01:01:52]  It's a video.
[01:01:53]  It's a video game.
[01:01:54]  That's a video game.
[01:01:55]  It feels like a video.
[01:01:55]  It's a video game.
[01:01:56]  It's just like a little Filipino guy climbing a tree.
[01:02:07]  No, but that is my favorite.
[01:02:08]  Yeah.
[01:02:09]  Good.
[01:02:10]  Yeah.
[01:02:10]  I like that.
[01:02:12]  Filipino music?
[01:02:12]  Like, I mean, do you know anything about it?
[01:02:14]  Karaoke, mostly.
[01:02:15]  It's my favorite.
[01:02:17]  That's a Filipino music.
[01:02:19]  That's really music.
[01:02:20]  Yeah, I like that one.
[01:02:21]  Of course, you do.
[01:02:22]  Yeah.
[01:02:24]  I mean, it seems like you're trying to question whether well, you know, nothing about, you don't see him anything like Joe, so that's why I'm bringing it up.
[01:02:30]  Look at how we're sitting.
[01:02:31]  Look at where our pants go.
[01:02:34]  Watches, we're into it.
[01:02:35]  Watches.
[01:02:36]  You know, glasses.
[01:02:40]  Great teeth.
[01:02:41]  Yeah, that's true.
[01:02:42]  Mine's fake.
[01:02:43]  I don't know.
[01:02:44]  I wouldn't say that.
[01:02:45]  Are yours real?
[01:02:46]  Not, I mean, technically, but I got them moved around by something fake.
[01:02:50]  So our smiles are equally fake.
[01:02:54]  Invisalign.
[01:02:57]  Yeah.
[01:02:57]  Veneers.
[01:02:58]  Yeah.
[01:02:59]  20 grand.
[01:03:00]  All of them.
[01:03:00]  Oh, God.
[01:03:01]  40.
[01:03:02]  Did you get a gold one or like a diamond in there?
[01:03:04]  No, I didn't.
[01:03:05]  Oh, you should have.
[01:03:06]  I get veneers.
[01:03:07]  That's what I'm doing.
[01:03:07]  No, I spent a lot of money on my veneers.
[01:03:09]  It sucked.
[01:03:11]  It sucked.
[01:03:11]  But worth it?
[01:03:12]  How much did it change?
[01:03:13]  Oh, so worth it.
[01:03:14]  My teeth were so bad.
[01:03:15]  Can I see?
[01:03:15]  I fell on a rock when I was a kid.
[01:03:17]  Broke all four of my family.
[01:03:18]  Are you wiping white things?
[01:03:20]  It's a thing that we do.
[01:03:22]  That was one of the best.
[01:03:25]  You're not going to shit on his callback.
[01:03:27]  All right.
[01:03:27]  Don't let him enjoy that.
[01:03:29]  Let him get his applause.
[01:03:30]  That was good.
[01:03:31]  That's a good callback.
[01:03:32]  And he deserves all the flowers.
[01:03:34]  Now, this is when you broke your femur?
[01:03:36]  How do you know this?
[01:03:37]  What do you mean?
[01:03:38]  How do I know that?
[01:03:38]  You think that I do research?
[01:03:39]  I'm a fucking journalist, dude.
[01:03:41]  I know you broke your femur in an accident that involved riding a bicycle.
[01:03:47]  Motorcycle.
[01:03:48]  Motorcycle, sorry.
[01:03:49]  Yeah.
[01:03:49]  And do you think that it was your Asian part was responsible?
[01:03:58]  It went from something very nice.
[01:03:59]  Nice.
[01:04:00]  What is happening?
[01:04:01]  Do these racist things from me?
[01:04:02]  What is happening, bro?
[01:04:03]  You were nice.
[01:04:04]  You made me do that.
[01:04:05]  I didn't do anything.
[01:04:07]  I said bicycle so we could stay away from it.
[01:04:08]  You're a victim.
[01:04:09]  You brought in motorized vehicles.
[01:04:10]  And then you went there.
[01:04:11]  And my brain fucking went there.
[01:04:13]  And then your brain went prejudicing.
[01:04:17]  No, no.
[01:04:18]  Prejudice.
[01:04:19]  You got very specific.
[01:04:20]  Filipino.
[01:04:21]  That's what my brain did right there.
[01:04:22]  My brain was Filipino right there.
[01:04:24]  And I hear even to this day that if we poke around on that little thigh meat, you're missing a little thigh meat.
[01:04:29]  I am missing thigh meat.
[01:04:30]  Oh, is that true?
[01:04:31]  Yeah, it's a fucking devastating injury at 14 years old, bro.
[01:04:34]  Take those off.
[01:04:35]  How does he know that?
[01:04:36]  What do you mean?
[01:04:36]  How do I know?
[01:04:37]  You don't think that I do research when we have to do that?
[01:04:39]  Then tell me what a brake I had.
[01:04:40]  What kind of brake did I have?
[01:04:41]  You broke your femur.
[01:04:42]  Yeah, but what kind?
[01:04:43]  Gluck fracture.
[01:04:45]  A gluck luck.
[01:04:45]  You got a compound fracture.
[01:04:47]  No, you did have a compound fracture.
[01:04:48]  It's absolutely crazy what happened to you.
[01:04:50]  Like the fact that your legs aren't even different lengths.
[01:04:52]  I know.
[01:04:53]  Like usually, no pins.
[01:04:55]  What do you mean, no pins?
[01:04:56]  They didn't put any metal pins or anything.
[01:04:57]  Well, then how did they set the bone if it was compound?
[01:04:59]  They stuck a pin through my shin and pulled it with weights for six months.
[01:05:02]  Whoa.
[01:05:03]  And just let it grow back together.
[01:05:05]  When you said no pins before, and you just chose to lie directly to that.
[01:05:09]  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
[01:05:10]  How did that make you feel on top?
[01:05:11]  Yeah, there's no internal pins.
[01:05:13]  That was an external pin.
[01:05:15]  All right, Al.
[01:05:16]  Yeah.
[01:05:16]  I forgot I had to explain everything.
[01:05:19]  Listen, what did you say earlier?
[01:05:21]  I'm done.
[01:05:22]  I said gluck luck.
[01:05:24]  That's what you heard.
[01:05:26]  That is what I heard.
[01:05:27]  Okay, so you got lucky that that thing straightened out.
[01:05:30]  Yeah.
[01:05:30]  Okay.
[01:05:31]  Unbelievable.
[01:05:32]  Yeah.
[01:05:33]  And now still some meat missing here.
[01:05:35]  A lot of meat missing.
[01:05:36]  Jesus.
[01:05:39]  Jesus, dude.
[01:05:40]  That's crazy.
[01:05:41]  I know.
[01:05:42]  I'm not pulling my pants down.
[01:05:43]  Come on.
[01:05:44]  Andrew.
[01:05:44]  Can I poke in?
[01:05:45]  You want to?
[01:05:46]  I want it.
[01:05:47]  Can you make me a little pokey ball?
[01:05:49]  Will you poke it?
[01:05:50]  I will poke it.
[01:05:51]  Will you poke it?
[01:05:52]  I will poke it.
[01:05:53]  If you show me the place that's missing the meat, I will give you a little poke.
[01:05:56]  I'll give you a little tickle.
[01:05:57]  You still feel?
[01:05:58]  They're still having the nerves.
[01:06:00]  Are you going to touch her?
[01:06:01]  I'm sorry.
[01:06:02]  No, no, no.
[01:06:02]  He was saying, what would you say?
[01:06:04]  Would you still feel it?
[01:06:05]  Do you still have the nerves in the bottom?
[01:06:06]  I don't feel right here.
[01:06:07]  Wait, for real?
[01:06:08]  Yeah.
[01:06:09]  So, like, right here, just this area right here.
[01:06:11]  I mean, it makes sense.
[01:06:13]  Do you want to touch it?
[01:06:14]  Yeah.
[01:06:15]  Oh.
[01:06:15]  This is so creepy.
[01:06:16]  No, it's not.
[01:06:17]  Wait, are you going to you?
[01:06:18]  Okay, go.
[01:06:19]  Just need you to get a little closer with my mouth or with your mouth.
[01:06:24]  Oh, yeah, yeah.
[01:06:25]  That's the only way I can.
[01:06:26]  A guy.
[01:06:27]  That'll get your nerves.
[01:06:28]  Let's use the headliner, man.
[01:06:30]  Look.
[01:06:31]  Look, look, look.
[01:06:31]  See, the whole leg's messed up.
[01:06:33]  Oh, shit.
[01:06:34]  You were about to take a bite out of that.
[01:06:35]  Yeah.
[01:06:36]  You are Filipino.
[01:06:37]  That's crazy.
[01:06:37]  And then I can't pull this down.
[01:06:39]  No, you don't have to pull it down.
[01:06:40]  I mean, I could just put my finger in it, but it's go ahead.
[01:06:42]  Put your finger in.
[01:06:43]  But bend over, though, bend over.
[01:06:45]  That has nothing to do with the fracture.
[01:06:51]  And I still don't feel it.
[01:06:54]  It was not the weird finger.
[01:06:55]  It was the little finger.
[01:06:57]  Put another finger in it.
[01:07:00]  Ooh, he does look that.
[01:07:04]  Okay, so you, and I was told you never drove a motorcycle again.
[01:07:09]  No, that's done.
[01:07:10]  I'm done.
[01:07:11]  And I don't think anyone should ride a motorcycle.
[01:07:12]  Yeah, you have one.
[01:07:14]  No.
[01:07:14]  You have one?
[01:07:15]  This guy has a motorcycle.
[01:07:17]  I have an electric bike, which I like.
[01:07:19]  Thank you.
[01:07:20]  I don't like those either.
[01:07:21]  Yeah.
[01:07:21]  No, you should.
[01:07:23]  Yeah, young shifty.
[01:07:25]  Yeah, electric bike's fine.
[01:07:26]  Electric bike's fine.
[01:07:27]  Motorcycle.
[01:07:28]  Well, what happened in your accident?
[01:07:29]  Did someone hit you or did you hit head on with another motorcycle?
[01:07:33]  Another motorcycle?
[01:07:33]  See, that's other, that's the issue.
[01:07:35]  If someone else is riding a motorcycle, that's where it gets dangerous.
[01:07:37]  If it's just me, then there's no problem.
[01:07:39]  No, no, no, no.
[01:07:39]  There was two.
[01:07:40]  What the fuck are you talking about?
[01:07:41]  That made no sense.
[01:07:42]  I'm just saying, you crashed into another motorcycle.
[01:07:44]  It seems like it was his fault.
[01:07:46]  But what I'm saying is it doesn't matter.
[01:07:48]  If you're on a motorcycle, it doesn't matter whose fault it is.
[01:07:51]  You're always going to lose.
[01:07:52]  Yep.
[01:07:53]  But what if you dodge out of the way?
[01:07:55]  You're not going to dodge all the way.
[01:07:56]  That's why it's called an accident.
[01:07:57]  No, no, no.
[01:07:58]  If you go fast.
[01:07:59]  No.
[01:08:00]  No.
[01:08:00]  This guy's ridiculous.
[01:08:01]  If you turn the handlebars when the car's coming.
[01:08:03]  I'm not ready to die.
[01:08:04]  I'm not going to die.
[01:08:06]  Oh!
[01:08:07]  Oh, I'm going to die eventually.
[01:08:08]  You know what I mean?
[01:08:09]  It's going to be a lot sooner than you think.
[01:08:13]  I already know by the way you're answering these questions.
[01:08:16]  You just go like this really fast.
[01:08:17]  Yeah, man.
[01:08:18]  That's what you do.
[01:08:19]  And that's what Evil did, too.
[01:08:20]  And what happened to him?
[01:08:21]  He fucking.
[01:08:22]  He got cancer.
[01:08:23]  Yeah.
[01:08:23]  Passed away.
[01:08:25]  And he was a great golfer, by the way.
[01:08:26]  That's great.
[01:08:27]  Great.
[01:08:27]  Yeah.
[01:08:27]  I didn't know that.
[01:08:28]  Yeah, he actually made more money golfing than a good driver.
[01:08:31]  Yeah.
[01:08:33]  He's going to die.
[01:08:34]  So this is probably the last.
[01:08:37]  I feel like you're going to kill me.
[01:08:38]  See, this seems threatening.
[01:08:38]  Now I'm normal.
[01:08:39]  And you ride in the city?
[01:08:41]  This is the worst.
[01:08:42]  He's the best place to drive.
[01:08:42]  Everyone drives so slow.
[01:08:43]  The guy's crazy.
[01:08:44]  Yeah.
[01:08:45]  He's actually like a concern about it.
[01:08:46]  Is there a helmet law here?
[01:08:48]  Yep.
[01:08:48]  Okay, well, at least that.
[01:08:51]  But they don't want to keep his brain.
[01:08:52]  They want to use the other body parts.
[01:08:53]  Yeah.
[01:08:53]  Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[01:08:54]  What would you use from him?
[01:08:56]  I'm going to donate all of it.
[01:08:57]  Are you?
[01:08:57]  Yeah, whatever you want.
[01:08:58]  It's yours.
[01:08:59]  First is hair.
[01:09:00]  I'll take that.
[01:09:01]  Yeah, I'll take the fucking thigh.
[01:09:02]  I'll take the thigh meat.
[01:09:04]  I'm going to give you some now.
[01:09:05]  I don't even know if I have to die for it.
[01:09:07]  Yeah, I'm going to take some of that.
[01:09:08]  I'll give you a piece of that.
[01:09:10]  I'll take that.
[01:09:11]  Now, Joe, listen, we know that you have a very busy day, so obviously we're not going to take all your time here, but Alex was a nurse and experienced prejudice from our people when he was a nurse.
[01:09:25]  Did you know that?

=== Taking The Fucking Thigh (15:21) ===

[01:09:26]  You mean I'm Filipino?
[01:09:28]  Are you really?
[01:09:29]  Come on, we brothers on here.
[01:09:32]  I didn't know that.
[01:09:33]  When did you also become Filipino?
[01:09:34]  Son, son, son, son.
[01:09:36]  And then they looked at my sneakers like, too specific.
[01:09:39]  Whoa.
[01:09:42]  I've heard that that happens.
[01:09:43]  It's a lot deeper than you think, man.
[01:09:45]  It goes so deep.
[01:09:46]  It goes very deep.
[01:09:48]  And on that note, try another finger.
[01:09:52]  I'm pretty sure there's feeling in there.
[01:09:54]  This is the callback thing.
[01:09:56]  I love it.
[01:09:57]  Don't tempt me.
[01:09:59]  You can just choose me in my own bottlehead.
[01:10:01]  Wow.
[01:10:01]  I was going to do that.
[01:10:03]  I know this doesn't fit the theme of the interview, but there's a question I want to ask you.
[01:10:06]  Yes.
[01:10:07]  Okay.
[01:10:07]  You're talking about algorithms.
[01:10:08]  I saw a story on TikTok, and I think it was about you doing Comic View and how you hustled your way on a Comic View.
[01:10:13]  I thought it was the coolest fucking story.
[01:10:15]  Can you tell that here for this algorithm?
[01:10:17]  So Comic View is on the road.
[01:10:18]  That was my favorite show.
[01:10:21]  I don't even know how old you are.
[01:10:23]  38.
[01:10:23]  I just watched Comic.
[01:10:24]  You watch Comic View.
[01:10:25]  Remember Showtime with the Apollo?
[01:10:27]  Of course.
[01:10:27]  Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[01:10:28]  Remember when cable kind of sucked and there wasn't that much shit on TV?
[01:10:32]  I bought the Deaf Comedy Jam cassettes.
[01:10:34]  They would send them to my house every month.
[01:10:36]  I was in.
[01:10:37]  So explain that to these kids.
[01:10:40]  This was before I was Filipino.
[01:10:41]  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
[01:10:42]  So explain it to these kids now.
[01:10:44]  It's like, like, I don't know how to explain it, but like a black comic didn't get the best rooms, the best nights.
[01:10:55]  Right.
[01:10:56]  You know what I mean?
[01:10:57]  So when you had a successful show like Comic View, they were going to put it, and I lived in Vegas, they weren't going to put them in Caesars.
[01:11:05]  They were going to put them in The Mirage because they were black comics.
[01:11:10]  We're not ready for that yet.
[01:11:12]  Rarely saw black comics anywhere.
[01:11:14]  Okay.
[01:11:15]  And so they put them in a restaurant.
[01:11:18]  And this is Comic View.
[01:11:19]  This is one of the biggest comedy shows on TV.
[01:11:22]  I mean, Martin Lawrence, Cedric the Entertainer.
[01:11:24]  D-Ray.
[01:11:25]  I remember finding out about the Comic View.
[01:11:27]  Everybody was going Ricky Smiley.
[01:11:28]  Like this thing was, this thing pushed out stars.
[01:11:32]  Yeah.
[01:11:32]  But for some reason in Vegas, they had to play a restaurant called Country Star, which was like a planet Hollywood for country singers.
[01:11:42]  Wow.
[01:11:43]  And when I found that out, I was working at Dolphin Habitat and I was already like, I was already like, this is like 1997 or whatever, 96.
[01:11:51]  How long have you been doing stand-up at this point?
[01:11:52]  I was like seven years in or so.
[01:11:55]  And I was already like booking like these theaters.
[01:11:57]  Like I would rent theaters and sell tickets and shit.
[01:11:59]  I would make my own kitchen.
[01:12:01]  Fucking hustler.
[01:12:02]  I would cut tickets up and sell them.
[01:12:04]  And then this girl that I was working with, she's like, you know, Comic Views here.
[01:12:08]  I was like, what?
[01:12:09]  Where?
[01:12:10]  She's like, Country Star.
[01:12:11]  I'm like, what the fuck is it doing at Country Star?
[01:12:13]  And I went to my manager and told her, I go, can I please just leave early?
[01:12:20]  I want to go to Comic View.
[01:12:21]  And she let me go home early.
[01:12:22]  And I was a tour guide.
[01:12:23]  So I was already covered in sweat.
[01:12:26]  And all I wanted to do was go home and put this suit on that I bought, right?
[01:12:30]  Because I remember Eddie Murphy said, always wear a suit.
[01:12:33]  He always wore a suit.
[01:12:34]  And I was like, oh, okay, if you're going to do a big show, wear a suit.
[01:12:36]  So I rushed home, got my suit.
[01:12:39]  I had a, and I was still sweaty.
[01:12:41]  It was awful.
[01:12:42]  And I grabbed this fake resume, this resume that I made that I opened for all these people.
[01:12:47]  And I had a, and I played all these clubs around across the country.
[01:12:51]  Everything was a lie, right?
[01:12:53]  And then all I did were the local comedy clubs that I, the local shows that I did.
[01:12:58]  And then I brought this to the front door.
[01:13:01]  There was a long line wrapped around Country Star.
[01:13:04]  And I walked up to the security guard and I go, hey, man, I'm a local comic and I just want to see if I could talk to the promoter and maybe just open the show up.
[01:13:12]  And never has a security guard helped anybody, right?
[01:13:15]  And the security guard goes, I'll be right back.
[01:13:18]  And he went and got the promoter.
[01:13:19]  And I still remember her name.
[01:13:20]  Her name is Yvette Anderson.
[01:13:22]  And she came up to the door.
[01:13:23]  And then I go, hi, I'm a local comic.
[01:13:26]  Everybody knows me.
[01:13:27]  Nobody knows me.
[01:13:28]  And I go, I'd love to open the show.
[01:13:29]  She goes, oh, we already got our comics.
[01:13:31]  Show's about to start.
[01:13:32]  And next, I'll take your resume.
[01:13:33]  Next time I come back, I'll consider you.
[01:13:35]  She goes, you want to watch the show?
[01:13:36]  I go, fuck yeah.
[01:13:37]  That's sweet that she lets you watch it.
[01:13:39]  And she let me in.
[01:13:40]  And she sat me down next to all her equipment.
[01:13:42]  And she had this thing called a Canon 3 CCD camera.
[01:13:45]  It was like beige and maroon.
[01:13:47]  It was like a huge camera back then.
[01:13:49]  I always wanted one, right?
[01:13:50]  It was like a broadcast camera that they were selling.
[01:13:53]  It was like $8,000 or something shit.
[01:13:55]  And I saw it.
[01:13:55]  I remember, oh, shit, that's the camera I want.
[01:13:58]  And I was sitting next to it.
[01:13:59]  And everybody was late, right?
[01:14:02]  Black.
[01:14:02]  Yeah.
[01:14:02]  I'm not going to say, well, you're Filipino.
[01:14:05]  This has nothing to do with you.
[01:14:09]  So, yeah, yeah.
[01:14:10]  So everybody's late and the crowd's booing.
[01:14:13]  Like, because they were like 45 minutes late.
[01:14:16]  The show was like at eight.
[01:14:17]  It's like 8.45 almost nine.
[01:14:19]  And they're all booing, like, start the fucking show.
[01:14:21]  She walks up to me.
[01:14:22]  She's like, do you want to do some time?
[01:14:24]  No.
[01:14:24]  Wow.
[01:14:25]  She goes, do you want to do some times?
[01:14:26]  Because they're a little late right now.
[01:14:28]  And I go, if you can record it with that camera right there, I'll go up.
[01:14:32]  And she goes, let me set it up.
[01:14:33]  And she set it up.
[01:14:35]  And then she brought me on.
[01:14:38]  Now you're going up to booze or are they happy that something's going on?
[01:14:41]  I remember the DJ.
[01:14:42]  There was no host either.
[01:14:43]  And then the DJ goes, ladies and gentlemen, Joe Coyne.
[01:14:47]  And I walked out on stage.
[01:14:49]  I walked out on stage, all black, all black people.
[01:14:52]  It was just a black room, right?
[01:14:55]  And you're not at all what they're expecting.
[01:14:56]  Not only are you.
[01:14:57]  Yeah, they were there to see Bo P and I forgot who else was on that show, but Bo P was the big one on there.
[01:15:03]  He was like the host.
[01:15:06]  And he was one of my favorites, by the way.
[01:15:07]  I love Bo P.
[01:15:08]  And then I went up and I smashed it, bro.
[01:15:11]  Yeah.
[01:15:12]  I remember this back in the day when they used to raise the roof.
[01:15:14]  Oh, it's fire.
[01:15:15]  And they were all raised the roof.
[01:15:17]  And then I started doing it.
[01:15:17]  And I got all on videotape.
[01:15:19]  And then I walked off stage and Bo P was standing there.
[01:15:23]  He's like, who the fuck is this?
[01:15:25]  And she goes, I had some local comic.
[01:15:27]  He's like, yeah, but you ever watched Comic View?
[01:15:29]  And I go, I love Comic View and I love you, Bo.
[01:15:31]  And he goes, you want Comic View.
[01:15:34]  I go, what?
[01:15:35]  He goes, next week.
[01:15:36]  I'm going to make them call you next week.
[01:15:37]  You're coming out to Comic View.
[01:15:38]  And I went on and did Comic View the following week.
[01:15:40]  Holy shit.
[01:15:42]  There's a...
[01:15:43]  You know how I got Def Jam?
[01:15:44]  No.
[01:15:45]  No.
[01:15:45]  So Def.
[01:15:46]  Pull the hole real quick on this story.
[01:15:47]  Yeah.
[01:15:48]  Two things.
[01:15:48]  One is.
[01:15:50]  I had that on tape.
[01:15:50]  So I saw that.
[01:15:51]  One, I want to see that.
[01:15:52]  Yeah.
[01:15:53]  Two, do you remember what you opened with?
[01:15:56]  That's the fucking thing.
[01:15:57]  Yeah.
[01:15:58]  I'm always curious when people go into like harsh scenarios, what their first thing.
[01:16:01]  And to be honest, I bet you if we watch the tape, we're going to be like, this is fucking awful.
[01:16:05]  Yeah, sure.
[01:16:06]  You know what I mean?
[01:16:06]  But it was like, I was like seven years in.
[01:16:09]  You know what I'm saying?
[01:16:10]  And it's the 90s.
[01:16:11]  Comedy changed so much.
[01:16:12]  No, I don't remember what I, I don't even remember the set.
[01:16:15]  Yeah.
[01:16:15]  You know, it's also interesting.
[01:16:17]  I don't remember the setup.
[01:16:17]  People don't think about nobody knew Filipino comics in 96.
[01:16:22]  So just the idea of you going up there doing comedy, I'm sure the whole audience was like, the fuck is this guy doing here?
[01:16:27]  Yeah, it's crazy.
[01:16:28]  So to smash in that environment is crazy.
[01:16:30]  And the opening must have been a haymaker doing it.
[01:16:33]  Yeah.
[01:16:34]  And it was, it was so cool.
[01:16:35]  And then, oh man, I never mind.
[01:16:37]  Is this Comic View or this is this one?
[01:16:38]  So then the show starts, right?
[01:16:40]  And then the MC goes up.
[01:16:41]  It wasn't Bo P.
[01:16:42]  I forgot.
[01:16:42]  Bo P was the headliner.
[01:16:43]  There was an MC.
[01:16:44]  It was a young comic.
[01:16:45]  I forgot his name.
[01:16:46]  And he went up after me.
[01:16:48]  And I remember he was like, he didn't know I went up.
[01:16:52]  So I'm just sitting in the audience.
[01:16:54]  And then he starts doing his set.
[01:16:56]  And no one's laughing.
[01:16:57]  He's like, God damn, none of you motherfuckers laughing.
[01:16:59]  What do I got to do to make you laugh?
[01:17:00]  And this black chick goes, put that Asian motherfucker back.
[01:17:04]  Let's go.
[01:17:05]  And they all went crazy.
[01:17:07]  That was cool, man.
[01:17:09]  And then that's how I got the Black College Comedy Tour because I did BET's Comic View.
[01:17:14]  And then I did the Black College Comedy Tour.
[01:17:15]  And that's how I met Gary Owen and Honest John.
[01:17:18]  And I was opening for like B-Flat and Samoa.
[01:17:22]  I love B-Flat.
[01:17:23]  And Melanie Camacho, Michael Blackson.
[01:17:27]  I was opening for JB Smooth.
[01:17:29]  And I was bringing them to Vegas in like 98, 99.
[01:17:34]  I was bringing them to Vegas.
[01:17:39]  And Honest John goes, he goes, I'm going to get you on Def Jam, man.
[01:17:42]  I don't understand why they haven't said anything.
[01:17:43]  I want to introduce you to Bob Sumner.
[01:17:45]  I go, all right, cool.
[01:17:46]  And I was working at like, I forgot, some hotel.
[01:17:49]  And he goes, all right, we're coming.
[01:17:51]  And by the way, this was Def Jam on the road, right?
[01:17:54]  And it was at another country place called Samstown on Boulder Highway.
[01:17:59]  They wouldn't put it on the strip.
[01:18:00]  That's what they were doing to like black comics.
[01:18:03]  It was crazy.
[01:18:04]  So I go to Samstown on Boulder Highway and I'm sitting there.
[01:18:09]  My sister's with me, Rowena, and then our fiancé.
[01:18:11]  And I remember I got this camera and I go, please, whatever you do, record this set.
[01:18:14]  I need this set.
[01:18:16]  And so now I'm backstage and Bob Sumner walks up to me with Rudy Rush.
[01:18:21]  You know Rudy Rush?
[01:18:22]  Yeah, Rudy's funny, dude.
[01:18:23]  Yeah, he used to host the Showtime at the Apollo.
[01:18:25]  Yeah, he's out of Dallas.
[01:18:26]  But he was the host of Showtime at the Apollo today.
[01:18:29]  He took over for Steve Harvey.
[01:18:31]  And now he's hosting Def Jam this night.
[01:18:34]  My bad.
[01:18:34]  He didn't come backstage yet.
[01:18:35]  It was just Bob Sumner and Honest John.
[01:18:37]  And Bob walks up to me.
[01:18:39]  He's like, Honest John.
[01:18:41]  He's eating.
[01:18:41]  I remember he was eating.
[01:18:42]  He's like, Honest John speaks highly of you.
[01:18:44]  I'm like, yeah.
[01:18:45]  He goes, all right, this is what we're going to do.
[01:18:47]  We're going to let you go up the house lights on because they're still sitting in the room.
[01:18:52]  And we're not going to open the curtain.
[01:18:54]  We're just going to open up a little bit and you walk through the curtain, close the curtain behind you.
[01:18:57]  Don't say, welcome to Def Jam.
[01:18:59]  Just do your set and then just say goodnight in your name and then walk back through.
[01:19:03]  Don't say anything about Def Jam.
[01:19:05]  He didn't want me to be affiliated with Def Jam just in case I bombed, right?
[01:19:08]  And then he walks off.
[01:19:10]  And then I'm looking at my sister like, I don't want to fucking eat shit.
[01:19:13]  Why am I out there?
[01:19:15]  Like, this is awesome.
[01:19:16]  It's like he's playing you a little bit.
[01:19:17]  Yeah, it's like 2,000 people.
[01:19:18]  It's like lights still on.
[01:19:20]  They're still seating.
[01:19:21]  They're still talking.
[01:19:21]  Yeah, it was awful.
[01:19:22]  And then I remember the stage manager walked up and he goes, hey, man, we're at like 70% capacity.
[01:19:27]  I'm going to bring them house lights down a little bit for you.
[01:19:30]  He goes, but I can't open those curtains up.
[01:19:32]  He goes, I can't do that, but I'll bring the house lights.
[01:19:35]  House lights is bigger.
[01:19:36]  Yeah, right?
[01:19:37]  So literally, this is what happens.
[01:19:40]  There's two guys holding the curtain.
[01:19:41]  I'm standing there like this.
[01:19:43]  My sister's like, kill it.
[01:19:45]  You need to kill it.
[01:19:46]  And they open the curtain.
[01:19:47]  I crawl through and I'm like, hi, everyone.
[01:19:51]  And it's just everyone's like, and I and I just go into my act and like standing O, right?
[01:19:59]  And then they start stomping.
[01:20:00]  You can hear them stomping in the bleachers.
[01:20:02]  And then I crawl back through the curtain and it's Bob Sumner, Honest John, and Rudy Rush, who's the host.
[01:20:10]  And Rudy Rush goes, man, who the fuck is this guy?
[01:20:13]  And he goes, that's Honest John's friend.
[01:20:15]  He goes, what the fuck did you put him on now?
[01:20:18]  He goes, what the fuck, man?
[01:20:19]  You should have put him on the show.
[01:20:21]  I got to go up after this shit.
[01:20:22]  Oh, it sucks.
[01:20:23]  And then he goes, I didn't know this motherfucker was funny.
[01:20:26]  They're saying this in front of me as if I'm not there.
[01:20:29]  And my sister's crying.
[01:20:30]  I'm like, oh my God, you're like, you kill it.
[01:20:33]  And then, and then, and I swear to God, just like Bo P, Rudy looked at me and he goes, we're doing a comedy showcase on Showtime at the Apollo.
[01:20:42]  You want to do it?
[01:20:43]  I go, yeah, I want to do it.
[01:20:45]  And he goes, he goes, how my people call you.
[01:20:48]  And he goes, and you're going to be on Showtime with the Apollo.
[01:20:50]  And then literally like a month later, I was on Showtime with Apollo.
[01:20:53]  Get the fuck out of here.
[01:20:54]  And then I won Showtime at the Apollo.
[01:20:57]  Is that set on YouTube still?
[01:20:58]  Yeah.
[01:20:59]  And that's how I won Showtime at the Paulo.
[01:21:01]  Did you rub the wood for good luck?
[01:21:03]  Hey, you want to know what's crazy?
[01:21:04]  Yeah, yeah.
[01:21:05]  People don't know this either.
[01:21:07]  I was doing these shows, right?
[01:21:08]  But I didn't have any money because I was working at like, you know, like, I was taking odd jobs.
[01:21:12]  So I was renting theaters and all this shit.
[01:21:15]  And I was getting sponsors to pay for it.
[01:21:18]  So the back of the ticket would be blank, right?
[01:21:21]  So I would go to Kinko's and put eight to a page and cut them up, right?
[01:21:23]  So the front would say Joe Coi's comedy jam and then the back is blank.
[01:21:27]  And I was like, ooh, I can make those into coupons and sell that as advertisement, right?
[01:21:32]  So I walked up and down the street on Charleston Boulevard, right?
[01:21:36]  If you're ever on Maryland Park, we're in Charleston, there's a theater there called in Vegas.
[01:21:40]  It's called the Hunt Ridge Theater and it's not in the best place, right?
[01:21:44]  It's pretty bad.
[01:21:44]  So I'm walking up and down all these stores and I'm just like, hey, I'm doing a show at the Hunt Ridge and I just want to know, can you sponsor me?
[01:21:52]  I'd love for you to put your advertisement on the back of these tickets.
[01:21:55]  It's already sold out, 800 people.
[01:21:57]  You know what I mean?
[01:21:57]  We could put your, you put like a discount coupon on here and I'll charge you like a bucket ticket.
[01:22:02]  And everyone kept saying no.
[01:22:03]  And I got to this oil place.
[01:22:05]  I still remember it was like an auto repair shop.
[01:22:07]  And I just, I don't know why.
[01:22:09]  I just walked in and I just go, hey, I'm doing a show down the street, Hunt Ridge Theater, and I would love to like sell the back of this ticket.
[01:22:16]  Make it like a half-off coupon for oil change or whatever.
[01:22:21]  Be like a bucket ticket that's already sold out.
[01:22:23]  It's 800 people.
[01:22:24]  And he goes, all right.
[01:22:26]  I go, what?
[01:22:27]  He goes, yeah, 800 bucks.
[01:22:29]  All right, cool.
[01:22:29]  His name was Paul Ogata.
[01:22:32]  And then, and I remember he grabbed a book of company checks and he wrote it out, Joe Koi Entertainment LLC.
[01:22:38]  And he wrote 800 bucks.
[01:22:39]  And I remember my mouth dropped like, holy fuck, he just paid for the venue.
[01:22:43]  I was like, what the fuck?
[01:22:45]  And he ripped that check out.
[01:22:46]  I couldn't believe it, man.
[01:22:47]  And at this point, you hadn't sold any tickets.
[01:22:49]  No.
[01:22:51]  No, I haven't.
[01:22:51]  But I knew I'd sell it out.
[01:22:53]  Oh, yeah.
[01:22:53]  I knew I would sell it out.
[01:22:55]  And then I was afraid.
[01:22:55]  How are you selling it out?
[01:22:56]  Sorry.
[01:22:57]  I was just good, man.
[01:22:58]  I was good at like telling people to buy tickets.
[01:23:00]  So you were on the street.
[01:23:01]  Hey, no, no, no, because people knew me from coffee houses.
[01:23:05]  So I knew that.
[01:23:06]  And then I was opening for people at Catch a Rising Star and like Catch a Rising Star would give me two for one tickets and I would hand them out to my friends.
[01:23:12]  And like on a weekend show, it'd be packed, but it was all the two-for-one tickets that I handed out.
[01:23:16]  And I'm like, well, why am I giving this headline all this money?
[01:23:19]  It's me.
[01:23:19]  So then I started renting theaters and I was like, I'm going to take this money.
[01:23:23]  You're paying me 50 bucks a night, but I'm packing the room.
[01:23:26]  Yeah.
[01:23:27]  You know what I mean?
[01:23:27]  So then I started renting out theaters and that's how I started selling that shit out.
[01:23:32]  And I was a big fan of Dada footwear.
[01:23:34]  Do you remember Dada footwear?
[01:23:35]  So Biggie would wear a hat, the tight hat and like LL Cool J with that.
[01:23:39]  And they sponsored Chris Weber, I think.
[01:23:42]  No, I was there during that production.
[01:23:43]  And there's this thing called the Magic Convention.
[01:23:47]  It's the men's apparel convention in Vegas.
[01:23:49]  It's huge, right?
[01:23:50]  And it's huge.
[01:23:52]  And my friends were B-Boys.
[01:23:54]  And I used to throw B-Boy events, right?
[01:23:55]  It was called.
[01:23:57]  Anyway.
[01:23:58]  What's it called?
[01:23:58]  Illust in the Game.
[01:24:01]  And they were huge.
[01:24:02]  That's why I know the Jabbawockies.
[01:24:03]  That's why if you watch In His Elements on Netflix, the B-Boys segment, the guy that's doing it, Ronnie, I've known him for 20 years.
[01:24:12]  And we opened Snoop Dogg together, right?
[01:24:14]  At the Blazedale.
[01:24:16]  It's fucking crazy.
[01:24:17]  So like where I shot Coming In Hot at the Blazedale, I opened for Snoop Dogg 25 years before that.
[01:24:23]  And Snoop and Ludacris were 20, no, not 20, like 40 minutes late.
[01:24:28]  And they kept making me go back on stage.
[01:24:30]  And they wrote an article about me, like Joe Coi saved the Snoop Dogg show.
[01:24:35]  Like I still have the article cut out.
[01:24:36]  So it was so crazy that the guy that wrote that article wrote the article for my Blazedville Netflix special.
[01:24:42]  Black people's lack of punctuality has done so much for your show.
[01:24:45]  Yo, right?
[01:24:45]  It's really crazy.

=== Opening for Snoop Dogg (14:41) ===

[01:24:48]  So these B-boys, they were dancers and they were like my friends.
[01:24:51]  They were always doing my shows.
[01:24:53]  And they had a gig with tribal streetwear.
[01:24:57]  So they would dance at the booths, right, during the convention.
[01:25:01]  And I knew Dada was in there because I was checking in.
[01:25:05]  I was such a big fan of the hat, right?
[01:25:08]  And I was working on the front desk at this place called Alexis Park.
[01:25:12]  And this guy came up and he's paying for all the wounds in cash, right?
[01:25:16]  Young black guy, right?
[01:25:18]  Maybe 25 years old.
[01:25:19]  And he's paying all the wounds in cash.
[01:25:21]  And I looked it up and his name was Damani.
[01:25:24]  And it said Dada Supreme.
[01:25:26]  And I'm like, oh, shit, that's that hat.
[01:25:28]  And by the way, this is back in the day when there was no internet.
[01:25:31]  So if you fell in love with that hat that Biggie was wearing, you had to find someone that lived in New York to get it for you because you're not going to find it on, there's no internet, you know, or go through a magazine, like, you know what I mean, like source or something to see if it's in the back and maybe call the store.
[01:25:45]  So I wanted that hat so bad, right?
[01:25:48]  And I just looked at it and I go, yo, how's it?
[01:25:51]  How's it working for that company?
[01:25:52]  And he goes, oh, I love it.
[01:25:53]  I love it.
[01:25:53]  And he's paying for all the rooms cash.
[01:25:55]  It's like 10 rooms cash.
[01:25:57]  I go, damn, that's that's incredible, man.
[01:25:59]  I love that hat.
[01:26:00]  Biggie wears that hat.
[01:26:01]  I want that hat.
[01:26:02]  How do I get that hat?
[01:26:03]  He goes, I'll get you a hat.
[01:26:04]  I go, really?
[01:26:05]  Oh, that's dope, man.
[01:26:07]  Like, what do you do?
[01:26:08]  He goes, I own it.
[01:26:09]  I'm like, what?
[01:26:10]  That's crazy.
[01:26:11]  I go, what?
[01:26:12]  He goes, yeah, I own it.
[01:26:13]  His name is Damani.
[01:26:14]  I forget his last name, Damani.
[01:26:16]  And he sent his assistant.
[01:26:18]  She brought me all this merch.
[01:26:19]  And I always remember what he looked like.
[01:26:22]  Right.
[01:26:23]  And when my show started popping off, I was like, I'm going to walk up to him again and tell him about my show.
[01:26:28]  So my friends were B-boys and they were doing tribal streetwear, the booth.
[01:26:34]  And the lanyards to get in were like five, six hundred bucks to get in.
[01:26:39]  And they had two.
[01:26:40]  So they both went in and then he would take the other dudes and come back out and gave it to me.
[01:26:45]  And I literally stood by the Dada booth for four fucking days.
[01:26:50]  I literally went every single day until he came and he finally came and I saw him.
[01:26:55]  I go, that's that dude.
[01:26:56]  And I walked right in that booth.
[01:26:58]  I go, hey, man, I met you.
[01:26:59]  You gave me the hat.
[01:27:00]  And he goes, oh, yeah, I remember you.
[01:27:01]  And I go, yeah, I told you I did comedy.
[01:27:03]  She goes, he goes, did you call Carlos?
[01:27:05]  Because he gave me Carlos, the marketing guy's name, name and number.
[01:27:09]  And I go, I called, but he never picked up.
[01:27:11]  And he goes, he goes, oh, Carlos.
[01:27:14]  And then Carlos pops up, pops up from behind the rack, and he looks up and he goes, man, get over here.
[01:27:20]  He goes, this is this dude I was telling you about.
[01:27:22]  He's a comedian.
[01:27:23]  I met him at the hotel, blah, blah, blah.
[01:27:25]  He's got a comedy show.
[01:27:28]  And then Carlos's like, I'm sorry, man, I never got back to you.
[01:27:30]  He goes, load him up whatever he wants.
[01:27:32]  So I walk out of the convention with a bunch of shit.
[01:27:34]  And then Carlos, who's my friend to this day, one of my best friends, he goes, call me, man, because we want to do a comedy show.
[01:27:41]  And we'll sponsor you.
[01:27:42]  And he goes, I'm sorry about that, man.
[01:27:44]  We've just been really busy.
[01:27:45]  Because they were blowing up.
[01:27:46]  They got the Chris Weber deal.
[01:27:47]  They got the Snoop deal.
[01:27:48]  They were doing big shit.
[01:27:50]  And he goes, just come, come to the office.
[01:27:51]  So I drove there in my Honda Prelu with one broken taillight, drove there, 2nd Avenue, Los Angeles Street.
[01:27:57]  You know what I'm talking about?
[01:27:58]  The Garment District.
[01:28:00]  And I remember I made this fake price sheet.
[01:28:03]  I made like a fake price sheet for a comedy show.
[01:28:06]  You know what I mean?
[01:28:07]  And I was sitting there.
[01:28:08]  I was so nervous, man, because I thought I was asking for too much money.
[01:28:10]  I think it was like $5,000 for this comedy show.
[01:28:13]  Because he goes, just give us a breakdown and we'll see if we can sponsor it.
[01:28:16]  He goes, Lance is a huge comedy fan.
[01:28:19]  Lance is the other owner.
[01:28:20]  He owns the footwear department.
[01:28:21]  This is so much information.
[01:28:23]  You can cut it down.
[01:28:24]  You got four cameras to cut from.
[01:28:28]  And I'm sitting downstairs, right?
[01:28:30]  I got whatever it is that I made, this price sheet.
[01:28:34]  And then this big, good-looking black guy.
[01:28:37]  The biggest afro, bro.
[01:28:39]  It's massive.
[01:28:40]  He's got light blue glasses on, sunglasses, light blue.
[01:28:43]  Everything was light blue all the way to the toes.
[01:28:46]  And I hand him my thing.
[01:28:47]  He goes, I'm Lance.
[01:28:48]  He's like, what's up, Lance?
[01:28:49]  And he sits down.
[01:28:49]  He goes, he goes, yeah, I'm a big fan.
[01:28:53]  And he goes, so this is the price?
[01:28:55]  I go, yeah.
[01:28:56]  He goes, all right, cool.
[01:28:58]  We'll do it.
[01:28:59]  And he put it down.
[01:29:00]  And I go, that's it?
[01:29:01]  He goes, yeah, man, let's do this.
[01:29:04]  Oh, shit.
[01:29:05]  I should ask for more.
[01:29:07]  And I walked out of there.
[01:29:09]  And from that day on, I was sponsored by Dada Footwear, like from like 98 to like 2000, whatever.
[01:29:16]  Just doing comedy shows.
[01:29:18]  The American Express corporate card, like they gave me like an authorization form or whatever, so I could charge it all the hotel rooms.
[01:29:26]  Get out of here.
[01:29:26]  It's all the comics.
[01:29:27]  Yeah, and then all the flights they would book it for me.
[01:29:30]  So when you see me do Showtime at the Apollo, you'll see me wearing that hat that Biggie wore, this tight hat.
[01:29:36]  That's because Dada was paying for it.
[01:29:37]  He paid for me to fly to do Showtime at the Apollo.
[01:29:40]  That's fucking crazy.
[01:29:41]  Isn't that nuts?
[01:29:42]  And that same magic convention, that's where you met the Jabbawaki?
[01:29:46]  No, no, I knew Jabbawockies because I was throwing B-Boy events.
[01:29:49]  Ah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
[01:29:50]  So those B-Boy events that I was throwing, this is back when they were like 10, 11, 12.
[01:29:55]  So when they're kids.
[01:29:56]  I knew them when they were kids.
[01:29:58]  So I knew all those B-boy.
[01:29:59]  I'm a B-boy, bro.
[01:30:01]  You and Russell seem like kindred spirits to me.
[01:30:03]  You and Russell Peters.
[01:30:04]  Yeah, man.
[01:30:05]  For real.
[01:30:05]  Like, he's a DJ.
[01:30:07]  Yeah, but just in the hip-hop culture, hustlers have been doing it for a minute.
[01:30:11]  Yeah, got your respect doing fucking arenas.
[01:30:13]  Like, yeah, you guys seem like kindred spirits to me.
[01:30:17]  Yeah.
[01:30:17]  Yeah, it's crazy, right?
[01:30:19]  It's crazy how that all came full circle.
[01:30:20]  He was 12 years old or 10 or 12 years old.
[01:30:22]  And then you see them explode.
[01:30:25]  Yeah, but when I met Ronnie, he was like 16, 70.
[01:30:28]  You know, he's with full force.
[01:30:30]  He's like, he's like Red Bull BC One champ.
[01:30:33]  Oh, so these guys are.
[01:30:34]  He's the coach for the Olympics now.
[01:30:36]  But when I met him, he was 16.
[01:30:39]  These guys were already very established within the.
[01:30:42]  No, no, they weren't.
[01:30:42]  They were just kids.
[01:30:43]  They were B-Boys.
[01:30:45]  Now they blew up.
[01:30:46]  Oh, but you said when you met him, he was already sponsored by Red Boy.
[01:30:48]  No, Now he's sponsored by Red Bull.
[01:30:52]  Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[01:30:53]  But when we were just on the come up, like when I was trying to do stand-up.
[01:30:57]  And by the way, the shows I did at the Hunt Ridge always had B-Boys.
[01:31:00]  And so like, I got footage of all that shit.
[01:31:03]  When are you going to put on a dock?
[01:31:05]  Yeah.
[01:31:06]  You have all these.
[01:31:07]  I have it all, man.
[01:31:08]  We're working on it.
[01:31:09]  But like, yeah, people don't.
[01:31:11]  That'd be a really good thing.
[01:31:11]  I mean, that footage alone from.
[01:31:13]  It's crazy.
[01:31:14]  Apollo or Comic View, any of those would be.
[01:31:16]  I got footage of JB Smooth smashing.
[01:31:19]  Smashing my shit.
[01:31:19]  That's not the only one.
[01:31:20]  When no one knew.
[01:31:21]  No, I'm talking like when no one knew.
[01:31:23]  Yeah, but JB is another planet.
[01:31:26]  But you don't understand.
[01:31:28]  No one knew.
[01:31:28]  Like, this was like in the 90s.
[01:31:30]  It might be the hardest ever laugh.
[01:31:31]  No one was fucking with.
[01:31:32]  Huh?
[01:31:33]  It might be the hardest who've ever laughed.
[01:31:34]  I saw.
[01:31:35]  I'm telling you, I opened for him at a...
[01:31:38]  I was on this thing called the Black College Comedy Tour.
[01:31:40]  Yeah, you were saying it.
[01:31:41]  And like, I was the other.
[01:31:44]  So the roster was a bunch of black comics.
[01:31:46]  You were in college.
[01:31:46]  And you were the college part.
[01:31:48]  Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[01:31:49]  I was college.
[01:31:51]  So it was like, it was like they had to book, they had to have diversity, right?
[01:31:55]  You couldn't put two black comics on one show because it's too many black people.
[01:31:59]  Yeah, yeah.
[01:31:59]  You know what I mean?
[01:32:00]  At the college, like, that's too many.
[01:32:02]  We need diversity.
[01:32:03]  And they were like, oh, we got diversity.
[01:32:05]  What do you got?
[01:32:05]  Do you have an Asian guy?
[01:32:06]  We got Joe Coy.
[01:32:07]  Do you have a white guy?
[01:32:08]  Joe Coy.
[01:32:09]  You got a Latino guy?
[01:32:11]  Joe Coy.
[01:32:12]  So I was like all the others.
[01:32:14]  It was like me, Honest John, and Gary Owen.
[01:32:16]  I did it.
[01:32:17]  I saw JB in like 07, so it was later, but it was on a show with David Arnold hosting.
[01:32:23]  Rest in peace at David Owen, by the way.
[01:32:24]  Kevin Hart was there.
[01:32:25]  I think D-Ray came through.
[01:32:27]  And then they had JB Smooth close it out.
[01:32:29]  And I was like, hey, man, this guy closed it out.
[01:32:31]  Who is this guy?
[01:32:32]  And he fucking lit the room on fire.
[01:32:34]  It was in like Inglewood or something.
[01:32:35]  What year was that?
[01:32:36]  It was like 07.08.
[01:32:37]  Talking about the casino.
[01:32:38]  Maybe.
[01:32:39]  Maybe.
[01:32:39]  That's crazy.
[01:32:40]  Those were fun times, by the way.
[01:32:41]  He set it on fire.
[01:32:42]  Like Cat in a Hat's room and all that.
[01:32:43]  Yeah, maybe.
[01:32:44]  I think it was Cat in the Hat.
[01:32:45]  And he did the leaning shit about the hat.
[01:32:48]  That was back in the day, day.
[01:32:50]  Those are fun nights.
[01:32:51]  Yeah.
[01:32:52]  Yeah, those are cool.
[01:32:53]  Now, here's a question I have for you.
[01:32:54]  By the way, Cat in a Hat for everyone watching, that's Cat Williams.
[01:32:57]  Yeah, he used to go by Cat in a Hat.
[01:32:59]  Yeah.
[01:33:00]  Here's a question I have.
[01:33:01]  I thought you were LA this whole time.
[01:33:03]  Yeah.
[01:33:04]  And then I looked up Wikipedia.
[01:33:05]  It says you grew up in Tacoma, but I'm looking at you now.
[01:33:07]  You got an LA hat.
[01:33:08]  You got an LA Tet.
[01:33:09]  Why you rep LA so hard?
[01:33:11]  I mean, I'm not accusing you.
[01:33:12]  I was there for 22 years.
[01:33:13]  But you feel like I'm an LA guy because that's just like, yeah, that's that's what LA is everything.
[01:33:18]  But you started comedy in Vegas.
[01:33:20]  Yeah.
[01:33:20]  You started comedy in Vegas.
[01:33:21]  And went to Vegas to do comedy?
[01:33:23]  No, I went there because my grandmother was, she had cancer.
[01:33:26]  Oh, shit.
[01:33:26]  So we all moved there to be with my grandmother.
[01:33:29]  And thank God, because that's where my sister, because my sister's a singer, and I wanted to do stand-up so bad, I just didn't know how to get in.
[01:33:36]  I would call, I would call every comedy club every week, at least twice a week, right?
[01:33:41]  Because, you know, this back in the day, no internet.
[01:33:44]  So I would just call.
[01:33:45]  And the only guy that would pick up was the comedy club at the Riviera.
[01:33:50]  And it was called the Comedy Club at the Riviera.
[01:33:52]  And I would call him and he was like, hey, hey, what's going on?
[01:33:55]  And I was like, hey, I'm a comic.
[01:33:56]  I'm local.
[01:33:57]  I'm like 18.
[01:33:58]  I was like, I'd love to just open the show, man.
[01:34:00]  I got some stuff I think you'd like.
[01:34:02]  I don't have anything.
[01:34:03]  I don't even know what to say on the phone.
[01:34:04]  He goes, do you have a tape?
[01:34:05]  I go, I don't have a tape, but I know I'd kill it, man.
[01:34:08]  I'm really funny.
[01:34:09]  It's like, hey, look, call me back when you got a tape.
[01:34:13]  And I would do it every fucking week.
[01:34:15]  And I would try and change my voice.
[01:34:16]  And at one time, I swear to God, it's a true story.
[01:34:18]  And then one time he goes, it's like after the 12th time of me calling, he goes, hey, kid, I know what you goes, look, you need tape.
[01:34:31]  Stop calling me.
[01:34:32]  Go to Los Angeles, work the rooms, get in.
[01:34:36]  You'll get a TV show or something.
[01:34:38]  You know, maybe the tonight show will call you and get that tape.
[01:34:42]  Get that tape, then you pass it around to all the comedy clubs.
[01:34:45]  All right, kid?
[01:34:46]  All right.
[01:34:47]  All right.
[01:34:48]  Bye.
[01:34:48]  Bye.
[01:34:49]  Click Steve Shrippa.
[01:34:51]  Get the fuck out of here.
[01:34:53]  The Sopranos.
[01:34:55]  So Steve, that's right.
[01:34:56]  Steve was the booker of the fucking.
[01:34:58]  I did the hockey show with him.
[01:35:01]  You know, the hockey shows.
[01:35:03]  He's one of the sopranos.
[01:35:04]  Steve Schrippa.
[01:35:05]  Yeah.
[01:35:05]  And he remembered me calling him.
[01:35:07]  Yeah, he's big pussy.
[01:35:08]  Yeah.
[01:35:09]  Oh, shit.
[01:35:10]  Pretty sure big pussy.
[01:35:11]  Yeah.
[01:35:11]  And Steve, that's right.
[01:35:12]  Steve was the booker for the fucking rib.
[01:35:15]  It was called the rib back.
[01:35:16]  Yeah, the rib.
[01:35:17]  Yeah, yeah, comic club at the rib.
[01:35:19]  Yeah, yeah.
[01:35:20]  Uh-huh.
[01:35:20]  And he remembered me calling.
[01:35:22]  Bro, you don't understand.
[01:35:23]  I would call like twice, like twice a day sometime to try and change my voice.
[01:35:28]  Yeah.
[01:35:28]  Is there a fallout?
[01:35:29]  I'd like to come in.
[01:35:30]  Yeah.
[01:35:31]  Hi there.
[01:35:31]  Can I listen?
[01:35:33]  Woody the woodpeckers on the wall.
[01:35:35]  Are you the man?
[01:35:36]  I try to do material.
[01:35:39]  I do voices.
[01:35:42]  Did you ever get up there?
[01:35:43]  Never got up.
[01:35:44]  Fuck.
[01:35:45]  Never got up.
[01:35:45]  But he remembered me, man.
[01:35:47]  He was talking to my manager at the time.
[01:35:51]  And when he found out that I was from Vegas, he goes, I think that's the kid that called me all the time.
[01:35:56]  And then I confirmed.
[01:35:57]  I go, yeah, that was me.
[01:35:58]  Fucking hell.
[01:35:59]  Called all the fucking time, man.
[01:36:01]  Fucking hell.
[01:36:02]  Yeah.
[01:36:02]  And the only reason why I started getting in getting on stage is because my sister was doing this thing.
[01:36:09]  There was this thing called Star Mania.
[01:36:11]  It was like a bootleg star search.
[01:36:13]  And I went to go watch her because my sister could sing.
[01:36:15]  She was amazing.
[01:36:16]  And I was watching her and there was a comic that went up.
[01:36:19]  And my sister didn't even know that I wanted to get up on stage.
[01:36:22]  And she looked at me.
[01:36:23]  She goes, oh my God, you're so much funnier than him.
[01:36:25]  And I literally went home and I go, okay, this is how I'm going to do it.
[01:36:30]  I'm not going to call Steve anymore.
[01:36:32]  And I called that number.
[01:36:34]  And I didn't even tell my sister that I was on the same competition as her.
[01:36:38]  And then that we, I had to color in my pencil.
[01:36:41]  I had to pencil in my mustache because I was 18.
[01:36:44]  And these competitions were in bars.
[01:36:47]  Oh, you had to be 28.
[01:36:48]  Yeah, you had to be 21.
[01:36:49]  So I penciled in my mustache and I wore a tie.
[01:36:52]  And it's on Eastern and Tropic Canada.
[01:36:54]  And the stage is still there, by the way, this bar.
[01:36:56]  And I just went in there recently.
[01:36:58]  It's still there.
[01:36:59]  How'd you do in the competition?
[01:37:00]  Oh, I lost to this Lionel Ritchie impersonator.
[01:37:04]  And he was so good, right?
[01:37:06]  He sounded like Lionel Richie.
[01:37:08]  And I bombed.
[01:37:09]  It was so bad.
[01:37:10]  That's your first time on stage?
[01:37:12]  That was my first time.
[01:37:13]  Yeah.
[01:37:13]  And I sat down next to him.
[01:37:15]  I remember I couldn't get off stage.
[01:37:17]  You know how you bomb so bad, you just keep going.
[01:37:19]  For some reason, you just keep going.
[01:37:21]  Like, I got to get a laugh.
[01:37:22]  And it just wasn't happening.
[01:37:23]  Yeah, I've been there.
[01:37:24]  Yeah, right.
[01:37:25]  And then I sat down next to him and he goes, and I remember, I go, oh, God, I go, that sucked, man.
[01:37:30]  I go, I don't know why I'm doing this shit.
[01:37:32]  And then he goes, he goes, hey, you may have bombed tonight, but I will say this.
[01:37:37]  You've got a good stage presence.
[01:37:39]  That's what he said to me.
[01:37:40]  He goes, you look good on stage, man.
[01:37:42]  You handled yourself well.
[01:37:44]  And if he didn't say that, man, I probably would have quit.
[01:37:46]  Crazy.
[01:37:47]  Yeah, I swear to you.
[01:37:48]  Because it was so bad.
[01:37:49]  It was horrific.
[01:37:50]  I remember I wrote this long set list and it disappeared.
[01:37:53]  It disappeared the minute I went on stage.
[01:37:55]  I remember clearly, like, it just all left.
[01:37:58]  I remember practicing all day what I was going to say and how I was going to say it.
[01:38:01]  And I remember in my head, I visualized some guy going, you're not going to believe it, but we got the next Eddie Murphy here.
[01:38:09]  Oh, listen, listen right now.
[01:38:12]  You see what I'm saying?
[01:38:13]  They won't stop laughing.
[01:38:16]  None of that shit happened.
[01:38:17]  Oh, fuck.
[01:38:18]  But that little inkling of hope from the guy propelled you.
[01:38:22]  Yeah.
[01:38:23]  I was talking about condoms and my mouth got so chalky that my tongue kept sticking to the roof of my mouth.
[01:38:29]  I was doing this like that.
[01:38:30]  And I was trying to get off.
[01:38:31]  And I was like, God, your mouth ever gets so dry, your tongue sticks to the roof of your mouth.
[01:38:35]  And I did a condom joke at the beginning of the set.
[01:38:39]  And it was so stupid, right?
[01:38:41]  My condoms don't fit me.
[01:38:42]  It's just dumb, right?
[01:38:43]  Hacky shit.
[01:38:44]  And then I fucking said that.
[01:38:47]  And the lady at the bar goes, put a condom on it.
[01:38:51]  And fucking kill.
[01:38:54]  Annihilate.
[01:38:56]  Crushed.
[01:38:58]  Thank you.
[01:38:59]  Have a good night.
[01:39:02]  We're here all week.
[01:39:04]  I wave her over.
[01:39:05]  We both bow.
[01:39:06]  Dude, a heckle when you're bombing is the most devastating.
[01:39:09]  A good heckle.
[01:39:10]  Fuck, you're done.
[01:39:11]  I'm done.
[01:39:12]  You're done, done.
[01:39:13]  And that's how I closed it with her.
[01:39:15]  She closed it.
[01:39:16]  Wow.
[01:39:16]  Yeah.
[01:39:17]  Fucking hey, man.
[01:39:18]  What a journey.
[01:39:19]  Yeah, man.
[01:39:20]  Now arenas.
[01:39:21]  And volcanoes.
[01:39:22]  And volcanoes.
[01:39:22]  Volcanoes.
[01:39:23]  The volcanoes.
[01:39:24]  So fucking cool, man.
[01:39:25]  You really earned every ounce of it.
[01:39:27]  Ah, thank you.

=== Volcanoes Aren't an Option (05:32) ===

[01:39:29]  You're always going to make it.
[01:39:30]  It wasn't an option.
[01:39:31]  Like, I can't imagine a reality where you don't make it.
[01:39:33]  You know what I mean?
[01:39:33]  Oh, thanks.
[01:39:34]  It's actually really, I think it's great for people to hear these types of stories, especially like how industrious you were.
[01:39:40]  Yeah.
[01:39:41]  Because oftentimes they just see the success.
[01:39:44]  Yeah.
[01:39:45]  Right.
[01:39:45]  And then they're just going to go, oh, okay.
[01:39:47]  Well, if I'm funny, then somebody's going to recognize me and then somebody's going to put me in a volcano and then people show up.
[01:39:52]  Yeah.
[01:39:52]  It's not 30 years of like doing your own fucking shows and putting on the suit and just hoping to get hoping, calling every single day, sitting around for four hours every single day to get your dada sponsorship.
[01:40:03]  Like there's so much fucking grind that goes into it.
[01:40:06]  Was there any other time you thought you were going to quit?
[01:40:08]  Yeah, 2015 when they said no to me.
[01:40:11]  Really?
[01:40:12]  Netflix said no.
[01:40:13]  Yeah.
[01:40:13]  Really?
[01:40:14]  I was really depressed.
[01:40:15]  Do you know why, though?
[01:40:16]  Because you're making so much money.
[01:40:21]  I really wanted to quit comedy because I was just, okay, it's not going to happen.
[01:40:26]  Like it's done.
[01:40:27]  But what's I'm 40?
[01:40:28]  I was at that time I was 2015.
[01:40:31]  I was what 45.
[01:40:33]  But what's not going to happen?
[01:40:33]  And I'm just like, it was already like.
[01:40:36]  I'm still in the 1% of comics.
[01:40:37]  Yeah.
[01:40:38]  You're doing 20 sold out shows in a weekend.
[01:40:41]  I mean, that's insane.
[01:40:42]  That's crazy money.
[01:40:43]  Yeah, but a comic special.
[01:40:45]  So you were validating yourself with the special.
[01:40:48]  I just felt like, well, one, I knew that's what I needed to propel me to that next level.
[01:40:53]  Like, I didn't want to do 20 nights at a comedy club.
[01:40:56]  Right, right, right.
[01:40:57]  You know, I was doing it because I had to.
[01:40:59]  Right.
[01:40:59]  Because, you know, selling 300 tickets to me was easy.
[01:41:02]  Right.
[01:41:02]  You know what I mean?
[01:41:03]  So you just kept doing it.
[01:41:04]  Like, I wanted to be able to do 2,000.
[01:41:06]  I want to do Chicago theater.
[01:41:07]  I have a videotape of me working doing three and a half weeks at the Schaumburg Improv.
[01:41:14]  Schaumburg Improv.
[01:41:15]  Schaunberg is, it's like North Chicago.
[01:41:17]  It's like a suburb outside of Chicago.
[01:41:18]  Yeah.
[01:41:19]  They completely sold.
[01:41:20]  And it's a massive room.
[01:41:21]  Big improv.
[01:41:22]  It was like two and a half weeks.
[01:41:23]  It was like 19 shows or something.
[01:41:24]  Right.
[01:41:25]  And I remember.
[01:41:25]  It was just to be in Schoenberg.
[01:41:27]  Yeah.
[01:41:28]  Two and a half weeks.
[01:41:29]  You don't need to be in Schoenberg.
[01:41:30]  Yeah.
[01:41:31]  You literally fly back for two days because you shouldn't be in shopper at a mall.
[01:41:36]  Right.
[01:41:36]  And I remember just like doing press, right?
[01:41:39]  Oh, by the way, another secret for all you comics that are coming up: do fucking press.
[01:41:45]  Do it.
[01:41:46]  Doesn't matter if you're sold out.
[01:41:47]  Doesn't matter who the fuck you are.
[01:41:49]  Yeah.
[01:41:50]  Do press.
[01:41:51]  Do it all.
[01:41:51]  Do radio, TV, everything.
[01:41:54]  Doesn't matter if you're sold out.
[01:41:55]  Not everybody in that town knows you're there.
[01:41:57]  Not everybody in that town knows who the fuck you are.
[01:42:00]  So just do it.
[01:42:01]  Like, like, I don't know.
[01:42:04]  You're the only one that's going to sell yourself.
[01:42:05]  Yeah.
[01:42:06]  So I could be sold out.
[01:42:07]  I'm still going to go do the radio.
[01:42:09]  I posted this the other day.
[01:42:10]  I saw this great thing about Tyler, the creator.
[01:42:12]  Yeah.
[01:42:13]  And he goes, he goes, I don't know.
[01:42:16]  I want to get it up because I'm going to butcher it.
[01:42:18]  But he basically is like, I don't know what's up with these people who don't promote themselves.
[01:42:20]  Like, I don't know if they don't believe in their own shit.
[01:42:22]  But he's like, you put a lot of time, a lot of thought, your heart and soul into a creation, and now it's ready.
[01:42:28]  And you're not going to push it?
[01:42:29]  Do you not believe in the creation?
[01:42:30]  Do you not believe in yourself?
[01:42:31]  Like, do you think it makes you so thirsty?
[01:42:34]  Like, what the fuck is wrong with you guys?
[01:42:36]  I don't get it.
[01:42:36]  If you built it, put it out there and tell people it's out there.
[01:42:40]  And it was so beautiful to see someone who is like ultimate indie grind, who I respect like crazy in terms of not only music ability, but his ability to promote to see him get behind promoting.
[01:42:51]  Yeah.
[01:42:52]  I don't understand it.
[01:42:54]  If you open up a coffee house, you're going to promote your coffee house because you want to sell coffee.
[01:42:59]  Yeah.
[01:43:00]  One thing about comics, we have no overhead.
[01:43:02]  There's no chairs.
[01:43:03]  There's no stools.
[01:43:04]  There's no coffee.
[01:43:05]  We are the business.
[01:43:07]  So you have to promote your business.
[01:43:09]  I don't understand it.
[01:43:10]  Like when my movie came out, you know what I mean?
[01:43:13]  Like I flew to how many cities did I fly to?
[01:43:18]  10.
[01:43:18]  10 in 10 days.
[01:43:20]  I flew out of my own money, not Universal's money, not Amblin's money.
[01:43:23]  My money.
[01:43:24]  Sell Spielberg to cough it up, bro.
[01:43:26]  He's flush.
[01:43:28]  He's flush.
[01:43:29]  God bless Steven Spielberg.
[01:43:31]  He's a big fan, right?
[01:43:32]  Dude, the way I got that deal was crazy.
[01:43:34]  It was nuts.
[01:43:36]  We get a phone call.
[01:43:37]  Did you see one of the Jabbawockies?
[01:43:40]  He take off the mask and it was Steven.
[01:43:44]  Stephen used to open for me.
[01:43:48]  Yeah, it was crazy.
[01:43:49]  It was ludicrous.
[01:43:50]  It was late.
[01:43:53]  And Stephen was like, I got this.
[01:43:55]  And then he just floated out.
[01:43:59]  But no, we get a phone call right after coming in hot, my second one.
[01:44:06]  And we go to Amelin.
[01:44:07]  I thought it was a development meeting, right?
[01:44:08]  Where you just talk, you know what I mean?
[01:44:11]  Or a general, I'm sorry, a general meeting.
[01:44:14]  And just, yeah, I'll tell you about me.
[01:44:15]  You tell me about you.
[01:44:16]  And then we leave and pretend that never happened.
[01:44:19]  And that's what usually happens in these meetings.
[01:44:22]  And I go there and the minute the door opens, like every single person is like, Stephen's such a huge fan, man.
[01:44:28]  So happy to meet you finally.
[01:44:30]  Stephen, this, Stephen, that.
[01:44:31]  Oh, my God.
[01:44:32]  Stephen can't stop talking about you.
[01:44:33]  Stephen loves your special.
[01:44:34]  And then I get to the meeting and it's like Jeb and Holly, the two execs.
[01:44:38]  And then right away, they're like, Stephen can't stop talking about you.
[01:44:41]  And I'm like, hey, look, are you talking with Steven from accounting?
[01:44:45]  Like, literally.
[01:44:46]  Yeah, because it's like, there's no fucking way.
[01:44:48]  And I tell this story all the time because literally that's exactly how I felt.
[01:44:52]  There's no way Mr. Spielberg is a fan of mine.
[01:44:56]  There's no fucking way.
[01:44:58]  And they're like, no, it's Mr. Spielberg wants to make a movie with you.

=== Stephen Can't Stop Talking About You (16:11) ===

[01:45:02]  Do you have an idea?
[01:45:03]  Is there a movie idea you want to pick?
[01:45:04]  And I pitched Easter Sunday and it was that fast, man.
[01:45:08]  They just said yes.
[01:45:08]  Great.
[01:45:09]  They said yes.
[01:45:10]  And then script yes.
[01:45:11]  And then he was involved every step of the way, man.
[01:45:13]  From picking to the director, picking the cast, everything.
[01:45:18]  It was all him.
[01:45:18]  That's so cool.
[01:45:19]  And do you want to keep acting?
[01:45:21]  Oh, I love it.
[01:45:21]  You like acting?
[01:45:22]  I really want to get behind that camera, man.
[01:45:24]  You want to react, huh?
[01:45:25]  I love it, man.
[01:45:26]  I love it.
[01:45:26]  There's something about it.
[01:45:28]  Like, I like pulling, I like pulling certain things out of people.
[01:45:32]  Like, I enjoy it.
[01:45:33]  Like, I can see it.
[01:45:34]  And I, you know?
[01:45:36]  Yeah.
[01:45:37]  Like, I like, like, I'll watch things and it's not like I'm watching it to enjoy.
[01:45:41]  I'm watching it because I'm trying to break it down.
[01:45:43]  I'm pretty sure you do the same thing.
[01:45:44]  Yeah.
[01:45:45]  You critique things.
[01:45:46]  You're like, you get frustrated when you see it.
[01:45:48]  Like, I don't know how many times I'll watch someone go, fuck, why did he do that?
[01:45:52]  He didn't have to do that.
[01:45:52]  Or I'll get mad at the camera.
[01:45:54]  Why didn't they go wide on that one?
[01:45:55]  Why didn't they follow him?
[01:45:56]  What happened to the fucking back shot?
[01:45:59]  Like, God damn.
[01:46:00]  Now, do you still have that thing that wants?
[01:46:01]  Because you got your own movie now, but do you still have the thing that wants the industry acceptance?
[01:46:05]  Because 2015, you're making good money, but you're about to quit because you can't sell a special.
[01:46:09]  I was eating dinner with your managers and they were telling me you were doing a sitcom.
[01:46:13]  And I was like, why?
[01:46:14]  It's so much work.
[01:46:15]  You're probably making so much more money doing the thing you truly love with no suits telling you what notes are.
[01:46:21]  Is it this thing you still need?
[01:46:23]  It's the thing of what I said earlier.
[01:46:25]  It's like, it's making my mom proud.
[01:46:29]  Is she not already?
[01:46:31]  No, it's like, it's like, it's just like...
[01:46:36]  He knows.
[01:46:38]  No, but what I'm trying to get at, man, is like, it's hard to explain to people.
[01:46:42]  No, it's not.
[01:46:43]  You know, we all get it.
[01:46:44]  We know that this is kind of a fucked up country that we live in and it's starting to turn, you know, for the better.
[01:46:50]  We got younger minds now that are thinking a little bit better, you know, but they didn't see the hardship that my mom went through.
[01:46:57]  Right.
[01:46:57]  Like, you know, I tell this story all the time.
[01:46:59]  Like when my mom and dad divorced and we just wanted to color TV and we were at Sears filling out these raffle tickets.
[01:47:07]  I think she made me, Robert, and Gemma.
[01:47:09]  We just adopted Gemma.
[01:47:11]  You know what I mean?
[01:47:11]  She just came to this country and then Rowena, we're just filling out these raffle tickets, man.
[01:47:15]  We were going at it for like three hours.
[01:47:17]  And I think all these other families saw us do it, but we just loaded up this fucking raffle drum.
[01:47:22]  And we had about a thousand raffle tickets.
[01:47:24]  And we just wanted that TV and we fucking won it.
[01:47:28]  We won that TV and we had to go up the stairs and everyone was claiming the prizes to go in up the escalator.
[01:47:34]  And my mom loves kids, right?
[01:47:35]  This is like 1982-ish, 83-ish.
[01:47:38]  And we're going up the escalator.
[01:47:39]  And my mom loves little kids.
[01:47:40]  And she saw this little white kid, right?
[01:47:42]  And she goes, oh, hi.
[01:47:43]  She loves it.
[01:47:44]  Like, oh my God, hi.
[01:47:45]  What's your name?
[01:47:46]  What's your name?
[01:47:47]  And this fucking kid turns around and goes like this.
[01:47:53]  And we all froze.
[01:47:56]  Like, I didn't even know what the fuck that was.
[01:47:58]  I was a military kid.
[01:47:59]  So that type of racism we didn't really see because we were all mixed.
[01:48:03]  You know what I mean?
[01:48:04]  Like, I've seen Tiger Woods before.
[01:48:06]  I know what that is.
[01:48:06]  That's a black man with an Asian woman.
[01:48:09]  Or I know what I look like.
[01:48:11]  I'm a white dad with an Asian.
[01:48:12]  Like, we, we don't know.
[01:48:14]  It's normal.
[01:48:15]  So now that my mom and dad's divorced and we're not on the base, and now we're at a mall in America.
[01:48:21]  We just came from the Philippines.
[01:48:23]  And this kid pulls his eyes back.
[01:48:25]  And then my mom not reacting in any way because back then, if she does, she's in trouble.
[01:48:32]  Oh, wow.
[01:48:33]  What are you yelling at that kid for?
[01:48:35]  He's just joking around, lady.
[01:48:36]  You fucking go back to your country.
[01:48:38]  Oh, wow.
[01:48:39]  And that's the type of racism that my mom has to deal with.
[01:48:41]  That's why they're submissive.
[01:48:43]  How does she respond?
[01:48:44]  Even though my mom will fuck up all of you in this room, my mom's got a mouth on her.
[01:48:49]  But imagine that environment.
[01:48:51]  Like, I know my mom, but she froze.
[01:48:54]  And then we all froze.
[01:48:55]  And I was just like, yo.
[01:48:56]  And I remember, I think I was like 11 or whatever, 12.
[01:48:58]  And I was just like, the fuck was that?
[01:49:01]  Yeah.
[01:49:01]  And my mom was like, no, no, no, don't worry.
[01:49:03]  He's just being funny, Joseph.
[01:49:05]  He's being funny.
[01:49:07]  Don't worry.
[01:49:08]  Like that.
[01:49:09]  So when you see that shit, that's why you do the TV show.
[01:49:13]  Ah.
[01:49:15]  You get an emotional feel about it.
[01:49:18]  Because maybe that's your way of making some change.
[01:49:22]  And then somebody else's mom doesn't have to go through that same thing.
[01:49:26]  There you go.
[01:49:26]  So when they say, Are you going to do that accent again?
[01:49:32]  Motherfucker, I'm going to do 53 years of that accent.
[01:49:35]  You should.
[01:49:37]  Wow, we got all emotional shit.
[01:49:39]  That's beautiful, man.
[01:49:40]  You know, you know, but that's what that is.
[01:49:42]  So when you hear shit like that, you just, you're just like, God damn, like, shut the fuck up.
[01:49:48]  Well, what's what?
[01:49:48]  There's people that live in this country that aren't heard.
[01:49:52]  Yeah.
[01:49:53]  And it's important.
[01:49:55]  You know, I want to see Hassan minaj's dad.
[01:50:00]  Yeah.
[01:50:01]  I love Hassan.
[01:50:03]  I can't praise the guy enough.
[01:50:04]  I love him.
[01:50:05]  But I also want to see his dad's story.
[01:50:08]  Yeah.
[01:50:08]  Yeah.
[01:50:09]  And we need that opportunity.
[01:50:10]  We need to hear that accent.
[01:50:12]  I want to hear every fucking accent because there's every accent lives here.
[01:50:16]  Akash Akash said something to me that I thought was great.
[01:50:20]  And he was talking about when people make fun of like his mom's accent or his dad's accent.
[01:50:27]  And you said, and you could phrase it better, but you were like, I love their accent.
[01:50:31]  I think their accent is beautiful.
[01:50:32]  Yeah.
[01:50:33]  Like, not an insult to me.
[01:50:35]  Like, if you ask me to do an accent for an audition, I'm not offended.
[01:50:38]  I'm only offended if the joke is the accent.
[01:50:41]  That's kind of fucking a good thing.
[01:50:42]  You're just a funny movie.
[01:50:44]  That's what I said in the movie.
[01:50:46]  The joke's not an accent.
[01:50:47]  The joke's not the accent.
[01:50:49]  The only time the joke is the accent is when the person that's doing the joke isn't the joke.
[01:50:58]  Or if you have the joke.
[01:50:59]  I do this one joke on my own special, and I'm just like the differences between Asian people.
[01:51:04]  If you listen to the joke, I break it down so good.
[01:51:07]  Yeah.
[01:51:08]  Oh, that's a great fucking bit.
[01:51:09]  Yeah.
[01:51:10]  Oh, like listening.
[01:51:11]  Listen to the fucking bit.
[01:51:12]  That's why if you try and see this cancel culture try and cancel me, you'll see it.
[01:51:16]  Look at the comments.
[01:51:17]  They got my back.
[01:51:18]  Yeah.
[01:51:18]  Because I do it the right way.
[01:51:20]  Only if they have an accent.
[01:51:22]  Yeah.
[01:51:22]  And I think there's a little self-loathing in that, oh, an accent is offensive.
[01:51:26]  I can't be funny with an accent.
[01:51:28]  My uncle is the funniest guy I know, has a strong accent.
[01:51:31]  Yeah.
[01:51:31]  Fucking hysterical.
[01:51:32]  Exactly.
[01:51:32]  So if it's a funny guy with an accent, that's my uncle.
[01:51:35]  That's to your point, that's beautiful to see that on exactly.
[01:51:38]  But if the joke.
[01:51:39]  And what is it?
[01:51:40]  What is it about that that you don't want to hear?
[01:51:44]  Because now when you say that to me, now I'm mad at you because that sounds like prejudice.
[01:51:49]  But who doesn't want to hear it?
[01:51:50]  That's what I'm saying.
[01:51:51]  But that's what I don't understand, Andrew.
[01:51:52]  Yeah.
[01:51:53]  Like, what is it about that accent that you're not liking?
[01:51:55]  Because what you're saying to me is you don't like hearing my mama's voice.
[01:51:58]  Can I tell you what it is?
[01:51:59]  It's the fact that you're selling out a volcano.
[01:52:01]  Because if you were selling 10 tickets at the Schoenberg improv, nobody gives a fuck what you're saying about the accent.
[01:52:07]  And I think when you reach a certain amount of success, I think that humans naturally have this feeling in us where we have to tear down the people that maybe we create or tear down the successful ones because they make us feel insecure.
[01:52:19]  And the only thing that they can go to for you that they feel, because they can't say you're not crushing, right?
[01:52:26]  They can't say, oh, he's not funny.
[01:52:28]  They can't say he's not talented.
[01:52:29]  30,000 people there that are going to say, well, actually, yeah, he was crushing.
[01:52:33]  I came here every single time he comes.
[01:52:35]  There's really nothing that they can be critical about.
[01:52:37]  They can't say the industry gave it to you.
[01:52:38]  They can't say you didn't work.
[01:52:39]  You earned it yourself.
[01:52:40]  Right?
[01:52:41]  You built it yourself, right?
[01:52:43]  And you're up there and you're crushing.
[01:52:44]  And you've probably been in these, like, you've told us two or three scenarios that were really tricky ones that you ended up succeeding in, like on your way up.
[01:52:52]  You probably have maybe 200, 300 more of ones just like that.
[01:52:55]  Shitty rooms that you entered than you flipped because of your talent.
[01:52:59]  So there's really nothing that they can do to take it away.
[01:53:03]  And what breaks my heart a little bit is it feels like you're a bit insecure about it.
[01:53:08]  It's like this is something that is your life.
[01:53:11]  It's something that is hilarious to you.
[01:53:13]  It's something that you find funny.
[01:53:14]  And these people also find funny and love hearing.
[01:53:16]  Like, who gives a fly what three people say when 40,000 are coming out to the volcano?
[01:53:22]  Yeah.
[01:53:23]  Like, is it me?
[01:53:24]  Don't even, don't even put, sorry to interrupt, but like, don't even put that out there.
[01:53:27]  Don't even give them any credibility.
[01:53:28]  It doesn't maybe hurt more because it is such a vulnerable thing.
[01:53:31]  Like, your mom, it seems like you look at her the way I look at my mom, which is the most beautiful, wonderful person.
[01:53:36]  And I feel like I'm doing, I'm paying homage almost.
[01:53:40]  And then when you're shitting on that, it's like you're attacking this character that is the actual person that I love more than anyone.
[01:53:45]  Yeah.
[01:53:46]  And that's, I can't protect you about that.
[01:53:48]  Yeah.
[01:53:49]  Yeah, that's exactly how I feel.
[01:53:50]  Yeah.
[01:53:51]  Yeah.
[01:53:51]  I 100%.
[01:53:52]  And they don't understand that.
[01:53:53]  You know, it's like, I just don't get it.
[01:53:56]  But Pat Marina didn't have an accent.
[01:53:59]  Yeah, I didn't.
[01:54:00]  Yeah, I did not know that.
[01:54:00]  Pat Marina didn't have an accent.
[01:54:01]  I did not know that.
[01:54:02]  But he's going to go down in history as Mr. Miyagi.
[01:54:06]  Yeah.
[01:54:07]  And because that's the Hollywood he lived in.
[01:54:09]  He's going to go down as Al from Happy Days.
[01:54:11]  But no one's going to talk about his legacy about being a comedy store comic and running with Richard Pryor and Robin Williams.
[01:54:18]  We're only going to remember him as Wax on Wax Soccer.
[01:54:20]  And that's the kind of racist shit that we live in.
[01:54:23]  Right.
[01:54:23]  So that's why.
[01:54:24]  Right.
[01:54:25]  That's why we got to do shit like this.
[01:54:27]  So do you feel compelled as you go to like this part of your career?
[01:54:30]  Do you feel compelled to leave a lot of people talk about legacy, but it seems like your legacy is a little bit more selfless, meaning like you kind of want to see change kind of happen through your effect.
[01:54:44]  That's exactly it.
[01:54:45]  That's why my third special was in the Philippines.
[01:54:47]  I just wanted everyone to be Filipino.
[01:54:49]  I was just like, I knew how hard it was for me to get on.
[01:54:52]  And now that I have the door open, well, then fuck it.
[01:54:54]  I didn't make any money on In His Elements.
[01:54:56]  I sacrificed all my money for that.
[01:54:57]  I fucked up.
[01:54:58]  All that went into production.
[01:54:59]  I fucking loved it.
[01:55:00]  I was supposed to shoot a third special in Jacksonville.
[01:55:03]  I didn't tell anybody that.
[01:55:04]  I went to the Philippines.
[01:55:06]  I got that little girl.
[01:55:07]  That little girl lives in the Philippines.
[01:55:08]  She's a rapper.
[01:55:09]  After my show, she got signed by Def Jam.
[01:55:12]  Like, that's the kind of shit that's what I want to do.
[01:55:14]  I want to, I want to be able to like shine the light.
[01:55:18]  Question.
[01:55:19]  Bonnie, you know, that, you know, I've known him since he was 17.
[01:55:23]  He's so good.
[01:55:24]  The first thing I said to myself is like, we're going to the Philippines, bro.
[01:55:26]  I got a show.
[01:55:27]  He was the first person I called when I left Netflix.
[01:55:30]  We're going to the Philippines.
[01:55:32]  All those B-boys lived in the Philippines.
[01:55:34]  They're all homeless kids.
[01:55:35]  We gave them a shot.
[01:55:37]  So that's what you want to do with your success now.
[01:55:41]  Yeah.
[01:55:42]  You get the door open.
[01:55:43]  You keep it open.
[01:55:44]  I love that.
[01:55:45]  Yeah, it's fire, man.
[01:55:47]  Do you think your work will ever be done?
[01:55:49]  No.
[01:55:50]  Nah.
[01:55:51]  Not until everybody jumps in.
[01:55:54]  What would make you go?
[01:55:57]  Maybe not I did enough, but what would make you look back and go, that was pretty cool?
[01:56:03]  I don't know, man.
[01:56:06]  Filipino Batman or something?
[01:56:09]  Batman.
[01:56:10]  Filipino Batman.
[01:56:11]  And I want you to be Filipino Robin.
[01:56:15]  You just have two of the coolest, whitest clubs.
[01:56:21]  No, what would make you go, like, not my work is done because the work is never done, but what would make you sit back and go, wow, I'm really proud of the mark that I left on entertainment and how it's different now than when I was coming up and I wasn't given these opportunities.
[01:56:37]  Oh, man, that's a, I don't know, man.
[01:56:39]  Good question.
[01:56:40]  It was a great question.
[01:56:43]  You know, that's why everyone asked me, why am I doing that show?
[01:56:45]  It was like, well, this is why I'm doing this show.
[01:56:48]  You know what I mean?
[01:56:48]  Everyone's like, well, why'd you do that movie?
[01:56:51]  It's like, well, because, man, this is we have to.
[01:56:57]  I think it's important to say this.
[01:56:59]  Like, for a guy like you that's touring and other guys are in the same ballpark, you know, the Cavs, like a Cap Williams, even Fluffy, like to do a TV show or to do a film is to lose money.
[01:57:12]  Yeah, that's 100%.
[01:57:13]  Oh, man.
[01:57:14]  I'm so happy you said that.
[01:57:15]  I know, I don't, and it's hard because I don't want you to say it because then it seems like you're like, look what I'm giving.
[01:57:19]  But what people don't realize is there's so much money to be made on the road that to do a movie for two months is no money.
[01:57:26]  There's so much money.
[01:57:28]  And to do a TV show.
[01:57:29]  What about a TV show?
[01:57:31]  No money, bro.
[01:57:32]  Because a lot of people go, oh, my dream is to be an actor.
[01:57:35]  My dream is to have a TV show.
[01:57:36]  My dream is to have a movie.
[01:57:37]  So they look at you doing that and then they go, well, why would you do it?
[01:57:40]  Whatever like that.
[01:57:41]  You're willing to lose potentially millions of dollars.
[01:57:44]  I don't want to count your pockets here, but millions of dollars to create some change or a platform for other Filipinos.
[01:57:52]  I wanted to have all the people who are Filipino nurses in it.
[01:57:54]  I think that's pretty fucking fire, man.
[01:57:56]  And that was the scene in that TV show.
[01:57:58]  That was the opening scene to actually see a hospital as it should be.
[01:58:04]  That had everything.
[01:58:05]  It had Latinos in it, black people, South Indians, white.
[01:58:08]  It had everybody in it.
[01:58:09]  Did it make like a family nurses too?
[01:58:12]  It didn't have Luke and Laura.
[01:58:14]  It wasn't General Hospital.
[01:58:17]  Yeah, Luke and Laura are doing hospital administration, for sure.
[01:58:21]  For sure, hospital administration.
[01:58:23]  But maybe that, no, here's.
[01:58:24]  I don't want you, Andrew.
[01:58:25]  In no way am I, I'm not talking in like some kind of hateful, oh, I want to, it's still love.
[01:58:31]  It comes from a loving person.
[01:58:32]  I don't take it that way at all.
[01:58:34]  Please, please don't think I'm taking it like that.
[01:58:35]  I'm taking it as someone who felt kind of shunned by the industry and now you're trying to create opportunities in the industry with the success you have.
[01:58:41]  A lot of people just go to their house in the hills and they sit there by themselves and they just collect their money.
[01:58:45]  So I think given your situation, what you're doing is incredibly altruistic.
[01:58:49]  And I also think this is something I wish people, those people who do complain about you doing an accent, they probably like a lot of, we see a lot of people that are minorities in this business who will use this struggle or injustice as a platform, get famous, and then not really help out their own.
[01:59:05]  Yeah.
[01:59:05]  And I think it's really cool that.
[01:59:08]  And you do something that these people might not like, but they have no idea what you're actually doing, the change you're actually creating, the lives you're actually changing for the better.
[01:59:15]  But it also cool that you get a platform to say this.
[01:59:19]  Thank you.
[01:59:19]  I love you for saying it.
[01:59:20]  But I also want to like, I heard your tongue hitting the top of your mouth.
[01:59:27]  Should I put a condom?
[01:59:29]  Oh, if you would have said it faster.
[01:59:30]  Who was it?
[01:59:31]  You?
[01:59:31]  God damn it.
[01:59:32]  There you go.
[01:59:33]  But also, like, this is another thing that makes me mad.
[01:59:38]  For them to say something like, oh, he's doing that joke with the accent.
[01:59:41]  It's like, you know, I'm telling a story about my mother.
[01:59:44]  Yes.
[01:59:45]  So why are you choosing to say that?
[01:59:49]  It's almost like it's more than offensive.
[01:59:53]  It's like, it's, it's like this ignorant battle of like you're being prejudiced right now.
[01:59:58]  Yeah, well, this is.
[01:59:58]  So when any other ethnicity that wants to talk about their parents, it's you're doing an accent to be funny.
[02:00:08]  Yeah.
[02:00:09]  But they don't say that for anybody else.
[02:00:12]  Yeah.
[02:00:12]  Yeah.
[02:00:12]  Because I'll tell you what, man, one of my favorite jokes growing up was Aunt Bunny falling down the goddamn steps.
[02:00:19]  Oh my God.
[02:00:20]  Unbelievable.
[02:00:21]  Oh my God.
[02:00:21]  Goodie, good.
[02:00:23]  And not one note, not one note about Aunt Bunny falling down the step.
[02:00:30]  Oh, he's just doing that.
[02:00:31]  Hey, Murphy, delirious.
[02:00:32]  Anybody who's wondering.
[02:00:33]  It's one of the greatest bits.
[02:00:34]  The greatest bit ever.
[02:00:35]  Yeah.
[02:00:36]  Yeah.
[02:00:36]  And it's been ripped a million times.
[02:00:38]  I've heard so many comics do their version of that.
[02:00:42]  Aunt Bunny falling down.
[02:00:43]  But it's just like.
[02:00:44]  We did a whole analysis of that joke in one of our least popular episodes ever of this podcast.
[02:00:50]  He was amazing.
[02:00:52]  His album was amazing.
[02:00:53]  It was unbelievable.
[02:00:53]  Hit by a car.
[02:00:54]  Michael unbelievable.
[02:00:56]  I synced it.
[02:00:57]  Oh, shit.
[02:01:01]  Your legs.
[02:01:02]  Your legs are like this.
[02:01:04]  You ain't going to need these shoes anymore.
[02:01:07]  They're about 90 feet.
[02:01:08]  God.
[02:01:09]  But no one says anything about accent there.
[02:01:11]  No.
[02:01:12]  No.

=== Aunt Bunny Falling Down (14:56) ===

[02:01:13]  This is what Andrew was saying earlier.
[02:01:14]  Again, a lot of people, and this is kind of the LeBron thing that we all shit on him for.
[02:01:18]  You got to wake up and be yourself.
[02:01:20]  A lot of people can't deal with whatever unhappiness they have.
[02:01:23]  So when they see somebody killing it like you, how do I pick this apart?
[02:01:27]  Oh, it's an accent.
[02:01:28]  And then that's their exit ramp for their own insecurity.
[02:01:30]  Well, I might not be successful, but I didn't do that.
[02:01:32]  So that's, they're just doing that to feel better about themselves, which I think is what Andrew was saying earlier.
[02:01:37]  It has, it's, you can't personalize that.
[02:01:39]  We love you, bro.
[02:01:40]  Yeah.
[02:01:40]  You are.
[02:01:41]  What you're doing is, is you're literally in like the top 00001% of comedians that have ever existed.
[02:01:46]  There's probably like 10 total that have done, like total in history, they've done the amount of people, right?
[02:01:53]  And to me, that's what I judge as success.
[02:01:56]  It's like how many people leave their house, put on clothes, and drive to the show.
[02:02:00]  Because there's a lot of people that we watch every, I mean, millions of people watch football every single day, right?
[02:02:05]  They watch college football every single day, every single Saturday they watch college football.
[02:02:08]  And then a new roster of kids come and play for that team.
[02:02:12]  Yeah.
[02:02:12]  Right?
[02:02:12]  Yeah.
[02:02:13]  So they're not leaving specifically for those kids.
[02:02:16]  But with comics.
[02:02:17]  They're leaving for the laundry.
[02:02:18]  Exactly.
[02:02:18]  So with so with comics, it's like how many people are willing to leave their house and then go see you live and creating that, creating that community and cultivating that career to me is just like the highest form of success as a comic.
[02:02:31]  So I know that you have this other thing that you want to care about, Filipinos, whatever the fuck.
[02:02:35]  But like for me, but for me, comic to comic, when I look at what you've done, I think you've reached the pinnacle.
[02:02:43]  I think you've reached the mountain.
[02:02:44]  And to me, I love you.
[02:02:46]  I mean, I love you too.
[02:02:47]  I'm like, please, if there is a moment where you can reflect on what you've done, like, I know I got this advice, I think, I forget who told it to me, but a bunch of people told me during my wedding, they're like, just look at the people that are there for you.
[02:03:00]  Like, just make, take a moment and look at everybody who's there because it's easy to get lost in that moment with just you and your wife.
[02:03:06]  And my wife and I, we looked at all the people who are there.
[02:03:08]  And I think that, you know, maybe every once in a while you need to reflect.
[02:03:10]  Like, I'm in a volcano, 40,000 people got here.
[02:03:14]  Like, this is, yeah, this is really good, too.
[02:03:17]  Yeah.
[02:03:18]  And even racially, and the change you want to make, and this is another reason I compare you to Russell.
[02:03:22]  When I saw Russell, I knew what he did for me when I started doing comedy.
[02:03:29]  I knew that when I did comedy, you've seen Russell, so this isn't fucking weird to you anymore.
[02:03:34]  And this is from someone who wanted to do comedy.
[02:03:36]  If I didn't do comedy and didn't want to, which is so many people out there, they look at you and they think, yo, one of us made it and did exactly what you set out to do.
[02:03:46]  He normalized us to so many millions of people.
[02:03:50]  I got chills saying that.
[02:03:51]  Like, that's so fucking mind-boggling.
[02:03:52]  I don't find that to be normal to this day.
[02:03:55]  I hope.
[02:03:56]  At all.
[02:03:56]  And I find you to be very weird.
[02:03:59]  Yeah.
[02:03:59]  I hope that's self-loathing.
[02:04:01]  All two billion.
[02:04:01]  He's a self-loathing Filipino.
[02:04:03]  You can't.
[02:04:03]  This is the guy that's mad at your accent.
[02:04:05]  This is the guy that's mad at your accent.
[02:04:07]  But you should say.
[02:04:08]  Because my mom left me and I didn't have one.
[02:04:13]  But you should sit back and think, you did exactly what the fuck you set out to do.
[02:04:17]  Yeah.
[02:04:18]  No, thank you.
[02:04:18]  That's because your mom had that moment.
[02:04:21]  Yeah, my mom, you know, my mom is, you know, she's Filipino.
[02:04:26]  Yeah.
[02:04:27]  You know, and she never wanted me to be a comic.
[02:04:29]  You know, she wanted me.
[02:04:30]  What she wanted you to be?
[02:04:31]  She wanted me to be in the B-boy.
[02:04:32]  The hospital.
[02:04:33]  No, not a B-boy either.
[02:04:34]  Doctor?
[02:04:35]  She wanted, if you have talent, you know, it's only until high school ends.
[02:04:40]  Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[02:04:40]  And then the talent must stop.
[02:04:42]  Now you need a career.
[02:04:43]  Now it's a hobby.
[02:04:44]  Now you, yeah, that's stop it.
[02:04:45]  Do it at the party.
[02:04:47]  Dancing.
[02:04:48]  So it's like, what are you?
[02:04:51]  A clown?
[02:04:53]  What the fuck?
[02:04:54]  And then, so, yeah, so she wanted me to be.
[02:04:57]  But imagine, like, I also like have a lot of empathy for those parents because it's like, imagine you risk everything to come to America, bust your fucking ass.
[02:05:06]  And then your kid wants to be a dancer.
[02:05:08]  Exactly.
[02:05:08]  Yeah.
[02:05:09]  I'm so happy you said it.
[02:05:10]  But like, what sounds better?
[02:05:12]  It sounds better when you say it.
[02:05:13]  Yeah.
[02:05:14]  I'm white.
[02:05:15]  You're white.
[02:05:16]  You're white.
[02:05:19]  He's white again.
[02:05:21]  I knew I could trust you.
[02:05:22]  No, but I'm glad you said that because not everyone gets.
[02:05:26]  You feel for them.
[02:05:27]  I feel it.
[02:05:28]  But people that aren't Filipino don't get it.
[02:05:31]  Dude, they just see, oh, you made it to America.
[02:05:35]  Now, shut up.
[02:05:36]  Yeah.
[02:05:36]  You made it.
[02:05:37]  You're good.
[02:05:38]  You don't know that my mom left her entire family.
[02:05:41]  Yeah.
[02:05:41]  Yeah.
[02:05:42]  She literally might not see them for years.
[02:05:44]  She didn't see them and she knew it.
[02:05:46]  And now I'm just going to provide a better life for my kids.
[02:05:49]  And also whatever leftover money I'm going to make, I'm going to send back to them.
[02:05:53]  Yeah.
[02:05:53]  Yeah.
[02:05:53]  So that they have a better future.
[02:05:55]  But people in America don't see that.
[02:05:57]  You want to dance?
[02:05:58]  And I want to dance.
[02:05:59]  You know what I mean?
[02:06:00]  Like, I'm salting.
[02:06:02]  I'm going to have fat laces.
[02:06:03]  Isn't that crazy?
[02:06:04]  I said.
[02:06:05]  He made me buy fat laces.
[02:06:07]  You already had two laces.
[02:06:11]  You have them?
[02:06:11]  You're going to fat?
[02:06:13]  Why?
[02:06:14]  That's it.
[02:06:14]  Keep it on better.
[02:06:17]  Well, you think of what they gave up for stability and security.
[02:06:20]  And then you're saying, fuck all.
[02:06:21]  That's why Asians always want their kids to be doctors.
[02:06:24]  Asians, I'm including myself in, because doctors secure.
[02:06:26]  You should.
[02:06:26]  You're Asian.
[02:06:27]  Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[02:06:28]  We don't believe that.
[02:06:28]  No, we don't do that.
[02:06:29]  Oh, you don't do that here?
[02:06:30]  But doctors.
[02:06:32]  What kind of racist shit do you guys say?
[02:06:34]  How are you oppressing this guy?
[02:06:36]  He's like, he's like, I don't get a care unless there's a guess.
[02:06:42]  Them's the rules.
[02:06:44]  No, but they, I gave up everything.
[02:06:47]  All my security to make your life secure.
[02:06:49]  So, enter the most secure field possible.
[02:06:51]  Be a doctor.
[02:06:52]  People will always be sick.
[02:06:53]  That's why it's the dream because this is what I came here for.
[02:06:56]  I gave up everything for me so you could be secure.
[02:06:59]  And now you're going to go have a dream, you fucking idiot.
[02:07:02]  I had the dream.
[02:07:03]  Yeah.
[02:07:03]  I got us here.
[02:07:04]  Yeah.
[02:07:04]  We're done.
[02:07:05]  Yes.
[02:07:06]  Whites are a little bit like, how do I say it?
[02:07:10]  My mom, my mom immigrated here, right?
[02:07:12]  So like, I relate to this, but like most white people in America are a few generations away from the parent that left the homeland.
[02:07:20]  Yeah.
[02:07:20]  But America is a bunch of people who did what your mom did.
[02:07:23]  So like in our core, we relate to it.
[02:07:25]  Yes.
[02:07:26]  In our core, everybody had a family member who just left it all behind.
[02:07:29]  Yeah.
[02:07:30]  Came here, probably didn't see their family that much and came from maybe like a tricky circumstance.
[02:07:35]  And I think that white people are kind of maybe a few generations removed from it.
[02:07:39]  So maybe they don't get it.
[02:07:41]  But if you ask like a white dude's grandparent how they would feel about your mom's situation, they'd be like, I was so pissed off when your mom wanted to be a fucking ballerina.
[02:07:49]  Do you know what I mean?
[02:07:50]  Like they would also probably feel.
[02:07:53]  There's a risk-taker-ness in our DNA here in America.
[02:07:58]  Not all of us forget it.
[02:08:01]  Always.
[02:08:01]  These specific people, they always bring up this trauma.
[02:08:04]  You know what I mean?
[02:08:06]  That story is a little too specific to tell right now.
[02:08:08]  You guys, you guys, but you do feel the same as black people?
[02:08:12]  Mostly.
[02:08:14]  My mom's experience was so similar.
[02:08:17]  She took a plane.
[02:08:18]  But really, they love dancing.
[02:08:19]  Do you know what I mean?
[02:08:20]  I paid when she worked out.
[02:08:22]  Here's the difference.
[02:08:23]  When your mom wanted to be a ballerina.
[02:08:25]  Yeah.
[02:08:25]  Ballroom dancers.
[02:08:26]  Ballroom dancing.
[02:08:28]  They only looked at the white dancers.
[02:08:31]  You know what?
[02:08:32]  Not that dancer.
[02:08:34]  And not that dancer.
[02:08:35]  Even though that's the best dancer.
[02:08:36]  And not this dancer.
[02:08:39]  He's just being funny.
[02:08:40]  He's just being funny.
[02:08:43]  Don't be freaked out.
[02:08:44]  I was really upset about that.
[02:08:46]  Yes, yes, yes.
[02:08:47]  There was less opportunities.
[02:08:50]  Way to bring it down, Joe.
[02:08:51]  Yeah.
[02:08:51]  But when did your mom come around?
[02:08:52]  That was what I was curious about.
[02:08:54]  She, like I said, she's old school.
[02:08:57]  I don't know if you can relate, but like, it doesn't matter.
[02:08:59]  Steven Spielberg.
[02:09:00]  Okay.
[02:09:02]  Well, what else are you going to do, Joseph?
[02:09:06]  Really?
[02:09:07]  Well, I mean, now it's a little better.
[02:09:10]  She sees the show.
[02:09:10]  What about the bank account?
[02:09:11]  Like, do you just show her the stray cash?
[02:09:13]  You bought her a house, I'm assuming.
[02:09:15]  Yeah.
[02:09:15]  Yeah.
[02:09:15]  You shit on some of your like medical professional friends.
[02:09:18]  I've been a lot of cars.
[02:09:20]  Yeah.
[02:09:21]  You know, my mom got so comfortable.
[02:09:23]  She bought a car.
[02:09:24]  No.
[02:09:24]  Bro.
[02:09:25]  What type?
[02:09:26]  Well, what types?
[02:09:27]  Yeah.
[02:09:29]  Types.
[02:09:30]  But the last one, I didn't even go pick it.
[02:09:33]  She already went.
[02:09:36]  Already went to.
[02:09:37]  This is after the third one, right?
[02:09:39]  Yeah.
[02:09:39]  Already went to the place, already purchased it.
[02:09:45]  Sent me a picture of it.
[02:09:47]  Oh.
[02:09:48]  And goes, can you just send what information do you need?
[02:09:58]  What information do you need?
[02:10:00]  Like, what I don't so many heroes.
[02:10:06]  So what do you need, Joseph?
[02:10:08]  Just enjoy driving.
[02:10:10]  That's a funny thing.
[02:10:11]  What negotiations do you need?
[02:10:14]  I told him, Spielberg.
[02:10:16]  She subscribed.
[02:10:18]  She subscribed.
[02:10:21]  What type of car?
[02:10:22]  Mercedes.
[02:10:23]  Let's go, mom.
[02:10:24]  Yeah.
[02:10:25]  She got good taste.
[02:10:26]  Yeah.
[02:10:26]  That's all.
[02:10:27]  Why did you tell her to ask one of her doctor friends to pay for it?
[02:10:31]  Bro.
[02:10:31]  You know, a dentist or something, right?
[02:10:33]  I'm going to say, my dad told me, I'm really impressed with how far you come.
[02:10:38]  I'm really just so blown away watching it.
[02:10:40]  But I want you to know no matter how successful you are, I would still rather you be a doctor.
[02:10:44]  I swear to God he said this to me.
[02:10:45]  I swear.
[02:10:46]  Yeah.
[02:10:47]  They love titles, by the way.
[02:10:48]  Life support.
[02:10:52]  Yes, I'm not a doctor.
[02:10:56]  That's so funny.
[02:10:58]  And I laughed and he laughed and he was like, I know it's stupid, but I'm an Indian father.
[02:11:02]  I can't tell you any different.
[02:11:03]  It's just who I am.
[02:11:04]  And I wasn't even mad at it because it was so like authentic.
[02:11:07]  Yeah.
[02:11:08]  But it was such a funny thing.
[02:11:09]  I'll never forget.
[02:11:10]  Don't relate to the doctor thing.
[02:11:11]  Yeah, that's crazy.
[02:11:12]  Yeah.
[02:11:13]  It's so funny.
[02:11:14]  It's the titles that they're addicted to.
[02:11:16]  Yeah.
[02:11:17]  They love to say they'll never call someone, oh, that's my friend John.
[02:11:21]  That's a dirty John.
[02:11:23]  Oh, yeah.
[02:11:25]  That's a dirty John.
[02:11:26]  And now you're comedian Joe?
[02:11:28]  That's a derny John.
[02:11:29]  No, no, no, I'm just, oh, that's Joseph.
[02:11:33]  Yes, man.
[02:11:38]  Rich does that.
[02:11:39]  She saw you on Netflix, though.
[02:11:40]  She's like, oh, wow.
[02:11:41]  Oh, yeah.
[02:11:42]  I mean, she go to the Philippines with you.
[02:11:46]  She doesn't.
[02:11:46]  No.
[02:11:47]  No, she's older now.
[02:11:50]  And, you know, and my stepdad is not doing too well.
[02:11:53]  And yeah.
[02:11:55]  But she's very proud.
[02:11:58]  I mean, everyone, I don't know how to say it.
[02:12:02]  Everyone knows who I am in the Philippines.
[02:12:04]  That's what I'm saying.
[02:12:05]  So it's like your mom to see.
[02:12:07]  Yeah.
[02:12:08]  So she loves it.
[02:12:09]  No, she loves where she.
[02:12:12]  Everyone knows my mom.
[02:12:14]  Oh, she's famous.
[02:12:16]  Oh, she's very.
[02:12:17]  Over there as well?
[02:12:18]  No, she lives here and she's big.
[02:12:20]  Everyone knows her.
[02:12:22]  Yeah.
[02:12:22]  She does her interviews and she does all that.
[02:12:24]  Tick the napkins.
[02:12:25]  Joseph.
[02:12:26]  Take the napkins.
[02:12:27]  She calls the napkins, Joseph.
[02:12:29]  I still remember from 2007 a joke about her teaching you how to fight and putting your keys in between the two fingers.
[02:12:35]  And I was like, yo, Filipinas, get it, dog.
[02:12:37]  Well, you know what's crazy about that joke is everyone walks up to me.
[02:12:41]  So that's why you get like mad when you're like, you're not really listening.
[02:12:44]  She's just being a mom.
[02:12:46]  So everyone talks, I have people coming up to me like, I do that same thing with the keys.
[02:12:51]  So here's the thing.
[02:12:52]  The immigrant experience, and I think that a lot of comics who talk about it, especially with their parents being immigrants, have seen this.
[02:12:58]  Like your audience is not just Filipino.
[02:13:00]  You have so many different people in the audience.
[02:13:02]  And you also seen this like with Sebastian as well.
[02:13:06]  Like the immigrant experience for the Italian father or the Filipino mother is not that dissimilar.
[02:13:11]  No.
[02:13:11]  There's so much that they're going through.
[02:13:13]  So then all these people get to relate to it.
[02:13:15]  Oh, my grandma did the exact same thing.
[02:13:17]  Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[02:13:18]  Dude, I'll go to like San Antonio.
[02:13:20]  There's no Filipinos in the audience when I played.
[02:13:22]  But they got 10,000.
[02:13:23]  They've got a lot of keys.
[02:13:24]  They got the bootleg Tupperware.
[02:13:26]  Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[02:13:26]  They get the joke.
[02:13:27]  You can sneak it in to the country.
[02:13:28]  Fucking Mexican.
[02:13:30]  Why don't you use that?
[02:13:31]  You get racist.
[02:13:32]  But he says you marched me up.
[02:13:34]  Which one's my camera?
[02:13:37]  Yeah.
[02:13:38]  That's why we should cancel.
[02:13:42]  You fucking liars.
[02:13:43]  We're trying to cancel them and you sent me to a stage life.
[02:13:47]  Joe, we know.
[02:13:48]  Hey, I'm sorry.
[02:13:48]  I have to ask one more question.
[02:13:50]  What was it like performing for the Philippines, like in the Philippines?
[02:13:54]  How was that different than America?
[02:13:55]  Because for me, going back to India is always a fucking thing.
[02:13:58]  It's very different.
[02:13:59]  It was nuts.
[02:14:00]  That was nuts.
[02:14:01]  Did you feel?
[02:14:02]  What felt different within you?
[02:14:03]  I used to live there.
[02:14:04]  I lived there for six years.
[02:14:06]  So I was like from four to 10, most memorable years of my life.
[02:14:11]  Right.
[02:14:12]  And so like just right when you get off the plane, you smell something.
[02:14:15]  I remember I looked at my son.
[02:14:16]  I go, this just brought me back to my childhood.
[02:14:19]  I smelt this smell that I smell.
[02:14:21]  And then, and then just being with my son was just so a moment, you know.
[02:14:26]  Right, right, right.
[02:14:27]  And then it was a Wednesday.
[02:14:29]  It's a Wednesday, bro.
[02:14:30]  And I sold out an arena.
[02:14:31]  Like, it was like on a Wednesday.
[02:14:34]  That's so crazy.
[02:14:35]  Like, it was just amazing.
[02:14:36]  And everybody was there.
[02:14:37]  There was.
[02:14:38]  Did you feel more pressure?
[02:14:39]  Was the big guy there?
[02:14:41]  Mikel.
[02:14:41]  Was the big guy there?
[02:14:43]  They were all there.
[02:14:44]  Manny?
[02:14:45]  No, man, he wasn't there.
[02:14:46]  He, uh, but there were people there.
[02:14:50]  I don't want to say any names.
[02:14:51]  Sure, sure, sure.
[02:14:52]  I don't need to do that, but yeah.
[02:14:55]  But yeah, there were people there.
[02:14:56]  But as far as pressure, no, I don't, that was the one message I was trying to get across too on stage that night is the whole that crab mentality.
[02:15:07]  Yeah.
[02:15:08]  And I just wanted to let that be heard, huh, Josh?
[02:15:10]  That was the one thing I went on a rant for like 15 minutes.
[02:15:14]  You know, we're so quick to just pull somebody down, but not understand the struggle it takes to get to where we get to or understand what they're trying to do.
[02:15:24]  You just want to take it down.
[02:15:25]  Yeah.
[02:15:26]  And then you and then you wonder why the door is closed.
[02:15:29]  Right.
[02:15:30]  Because every time it opens, you close it.
[02:15:32]  Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[02:15:32]  So just help one another, man.
[02:15:35]  Well, that's that scarcity mentality.
[02:15:36]  I think a lot of times, like, I think that's where it comes from is when you're, I'm imagining, right?
[02:15:41]  I'm a fucking white dude in this, but it's like when you're going, well, there's only so many roles for Asians.
[02:15:46]  So you're like, well, if he got it, that means I'm not going to get it.
[02:15:49]  Fuck that guy.
[02:15:50]  So you develop this mentality, which is like you're really competing against everybody else in your community for that like one slot.
[02:15:57]  And if there's a bunch more slots, all of a sudden you get to support them a little bit more and say, hey, that's awesome.
[02:16:03]  You got that because there's some more over here.
[02:16:04]  And that's the beauty of the internet, right?
[02:16:06]  The internet is abundance.
[02:16:08]  We can all have a fucking podcast.

=== Competing for One Slot (01:26) ===

[02:16:09]  We can all have a comedy special.
[02:16:11]  We can all have a show.
[02:16:11]  We can have everything.
[02:16:12]  And the people that want to indulge in it get to decide what they like the best.
[02:16:15]  Yes.
[02:16:16]  So hopefully that goes away.
[02:16:17]  No, we don't say hopefully.
[02:16:18]  It's going to go away.
[02:16:19]  It's going to go away.
[02:16:20]  I mean, look at what you did, man.
[02:16:22]  That's dope.
[02:16:23]  Thank you.
[02:16:24]  Right?
[02:16:25]  That's amazing.
[02:16:26]  And that's what I want to see more of.
[02:16:28]  That's what that was the first thing I said when I was touring my movie.
[02:16:31]  It's like, dude, I'm telling a story about my family.
[02:16:35]  In no way am I trying to like just only build this opportunity for this.
[02:16:40]  I want to hear everyone's story.
[02:16:41]  Yeah.
[02:16:42]  I'm trying to show everybody that this is just a family.
[02:16:44]  Yeah.
[02:16:45]  Doesn't matter what ethnicity they are.
[02:16:46]  That's my mom.
[02:16:48]  And this is my sister.
[02:16:48]  Yeah.
[02:16:49]  She doesn't have an accent.
[02:16:50]  She does.
[02:16:51]  But they're both Americans.
[02:16:52]  They're a family.
[02:16:53]  And you're going to relate because a mom's a mom, sister's a sister.
[02:16:56]  And you know, it's proof that everything is changing because most of every one of my opportunities basically was given to me by a Filipino.
[02:17:01]  So exactly.
[02:17:02]  You know, just really forgiving people.
[02:17:04]  Joe Coy in New York.
[02:17:05]  That's you.
[02:17:06]  I am the Joe Coy of New York.
[02:17:07]  I love it.
[02:17:07]  Joe Coy of the East Village growing up.
[02:17:10]  I love it, man.
[02:17:11]  Yep.
[02:17:12]  And our new special is called Gluck Luck.
[02:17:14]  Gluck Luck.
[02:17:16]  Gluck Luck Live.
[02:17:17]  Joe Coi, everybody.
[02:17:19]  Hey, make sure you check out his new special.
[02:17:22]  Make sure you check out his movie and make sure you check him out on tour if there are seats available, which we doubt there will be.
[02:17:27]  But go see Madison Square Garden.
[02:17:29]  Oh, you got to go check out Madison Square Garden.
[02:17:31]  We're going to all be in there supporting.
[02:17:32]  Let's go.
[02:17:33]  Love you, dog.
[02:17:34]  Thank you so much, my man.
[02:17:35]  I love you guys.
[02:17:35]  Love you, buddy.