Flagrant - Andrew Schulz & Akaash Singh - Bobby Lee: "My Ex Will Get NOTHING"
Aired: 2022-09-13
Duration: 01:26:35


=== Seven Months of Hate (14:05) ===

[00:00:00]  Diazo is f ⁇ ing incredible at acting.
[00:00:02]  Do you think that he's better than you at acting?
[00:00:04]  Just being in...
[00:00:06]  Wow.
[00:00:06]  Do you think that Santino just has another gear, bro?
[00:00:09]  Let me ask you a question then, dude.
[00:00:10]  Can you cry in the scene?
[00:00:11]  Yeah.
[00:00:11]  You can cry right now.
[00:00:12]  Bobby's got to set up for it.
[00:00:14]  That's your son.
[00:00:15]  He needs a heart transplant.
[00:00:16]  There's no donor.
[00:00:19]  And you realize there's only one heart that can go in.
[00:00:21]  Your son's chest.
[00:00:22]  It's your own.
[00:00:23]  You're going to have to kill yourself to save your son.
[00:00:26]  And start singing.
[00:00:30]  My son.
[00:00:32]  I love you so much.
[00:00:33]  I got to tell you, the only heart that you can have is mine.
[00:00:39]  But I'm not going to give it to you.
[00:00:41]  What the f ⁇ ?
[00:00:43]  Because there's so many other Koreans I can buy.
[00:00:51]  What's up, everybody?
[00:00:51]  Welcome to Flagrant.
[00:00:52]  Bobby and Kalyal are back together.
[00:00:57]  We want to break the clothes around.
[00:00:59]  Oh my gosh.
[00:01:00]  We're not.
[00:01:00]  So how did you guys reconcile the whole thing?
[00:01:03]  Why do you open like that, bro?
[00:01:04]  I didn't open like that.
[00:01:06]  Why do you do it?
[00:01:06]  Why do you do do?
[00:01:08]  Why do you do doo?
[00:01:08]  I was almost in it back to you.
[00:01:10]  Yeah, yeah.
[00:01:12]  Okay, but seriously.
[00:01:13]  Yeah, yeah, we're not.
[00:01:13]  We're not.
[00:01:14]  We're not.
[00:01:14]  She's going to move out.
[00:01:15]  We're good friends.
[00:01:16]  She's moving out.
[00:01:17]  When is she moving out?
[00:01:18]  We were looking for a place.
[00:01:19]  She's not moving out.
[00:01:21]  Santino's like, she's not moving out.
[00:01:22]  She's not ever going to move out.
[00:01:23]  She's moving out.
[00:01:24]  Why would she?
[00:01:24]  It's such a nice house.
[00:01:25]  It's a nice house.
[00:01:26]  Did you tell her about your fling with her niece?
[00:01:30]  Dude, she's like.
[00:01:31]  No, she's like my daughter, dude.
[00:01:33]  They didn't have sex.
[00:01:34]  That's a cultural thing.
[00:01:35]  No, Asians don't have a cultural thing like that.
[00:01:37]  Yeah, you're like a Targaryen.
[00:01:40]  Then you give it the family.
[00:01:42]  Oh, that'd be great.
[00:01:42]  Imagine us on dragons.
[00:01:44]  Yeah.
[00:01:45]  We're gonna be able to do that.
[00:01:47]  That's why you're not doing a weed.
[00:01:49]  Okay.
[00:01:51]  Just doing weed.
[00:01:52]  Wee-wee.
[00:01:54]  Yeah, that'd be cool.
[00:01:54]  But you guys aren't together.
[00:01:56]  No.
[00:01:56]  Okay, that's good.
[00:01:57]  Right.
[00:01:58]  And then...
[00:01:58]  How's marriage?
[00:02:00]  Great.
[00:02:00]  Killing it, right?
[00:02:01]  Dude, dude, having like a woman in your life.
[00:02:03]  It's so good.
[00:02:05]  He loves you.
[00:02:06]  You love her.
[00:02:06]  It's a rich badge, too.
[00:02:07]  You got rich badge.
[00:02:09]  Let's go, dude.
[00:02:10]  Rich badge?
[00:02:13]  But Santino, you're also married.
[00:02:14]  She's poor, though.
[00:02:16]  Crazy poor.
[00:02:18]  It's like, when you guys did that fist bump on the rich thing, it made me so sad.
[00:02:21]  I was like, God, for me.
[00:02:25]  I married poor.
[00:02:26]  Why took a poor?
[00:02:27]  You're so rich.
[00:02:27]  Why took a poor?
[00:02:28]  Because it had this whole fantasy, like, you know when you're like, like a fucking beauty in the girl.
[00:02:33]  No, beauty in the beast.
[00:02:33]  You know how she's, she's like a poor bitch who cleans floors and shit.
[00:02:36]  I was always attracted to the poor bitch who cleans floors.
[00:02:38]  Why?
[00:02:39]  Why?
[00:02:39]  Because you want to save them.
[00:02:40]  You want to be the prince.
[00:02:42]  You want to be the knight in shining armor.
[00:02:44]  And they can't go anywhere.
[00:02:44]  Security.
[00:02:45]  You got to keep them close.
[00:02:46]  Yeah.
[00:02:46]  Keep them close.
[00:02:47]  And you put your back out on the streets.
[00:02:48]  Yeah.
[00:02:50]  You can't say that to your wife.
[00:02:50]  She goes, good.
[00:02:51]  I'm gone.
[00:02:52]  Damn, wait.
[00:02:53]  You can impress them easier.
[00:02:55]  Yeah, how?
[00:02:56]  You take them to Arby's and go, this is Michelin star.
[00:02:58]  Oh, they go, really?
[00:03:01]  They don't even know how to say really, dude.
[00:03:02]  They go, weird.
[00:03:02]  Is that how she pronounces it?
[00:03:03]  Yeah, And then you go, yeah.
[00:03:06]  This is a chef back.
[00:03:07]  Is that baby talk or Asian talk?
[00:03:08]  That was crazy.
[00:03:09]  I don't even know.
[00:03:11]  This is a baby Asian.
[00:03:12]  Oh, no, dude, it's a baby Asian.
[00:03:13]  Rudy.
[00:03:14]  Rudy.
[00:03:15]  That was really?
[00:03:16]  Weary.
[00:03:17]  Oh, weiry.
[00:03:19]  Imagine you eating a girl out who's Asian and you go, your pussy tastes good.
[00:03:23]  She goes, Weary?
[00:03:26]  That's hot, bro.
[00:03:27]  You're into that.
[00:03:28]  Yeah, and you can eat.
[00:03:29]  You got weary.
[00:03:31]  Yeah, dude.
[00:03:32]  You got to spin.
[00:03:33]  You got to spit.
[00:03:34]  You got chopsticks in your hand.
[00:03:35]  That's so weird.
[00:03:37]  You like grab the colours.
[00:03:38]  I like yellow tips.
[00:03:40]  You have to flip it on your tongue upside down, actually.
[00:03:42]  That's how they do it.
[00:03:43]  Yeah, yeah.
[00:03:46]  Actually, pussy with soy sauce would be kind of good.
[00:03:48]  Why?
[00:03:49]  Just a little bit of flavor.
[00:03:50]  Just a little bit of different flavor.
[00:03:52]  If you put a little bit on your finger and licked it off, that'd be delicious.
[00:03:55]  It's like shark fin.
[00:03:56]  Yeah, I like that.
[00:03:57]  Little shark fin soups?
[00:03:58]  It'd be kanzu.
[00:03:59]  Soy size is a little too much.
[00:04:02]  Did your parents side with who they side with in the Rodney King riots?
[00:04:07]  Like, what are you asking?
[00:04:12]  We know, we know who's side there.
[00:04:15]  Yeah, like, what was what was their take?
[00:04:17]  Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[00:04:18]  Well, you know, Koreans fucked up before that.
[00:04:20]  You know that, right?
[00:04:21]  Hey, I lost his mic.
[00:04:24]  Who's?
[00:04:25]  Because you keep fucking moving around.
[00:04:28]  Because you won't sit still for five fucking seconds.
[00:04:34]  I've never seen an unprofessional sound guy like that.
[00:04:37]  He even told me I'm professional.
[00:04:38]  I go, fucking, fuck you.
[00:04:40]  Come on, Ain.
[00:04:44]  Yeah.
[00:04:45]  You should do movies.
[00:04:49]  Now, hey, now be nice.
[00:04:50]  I love him.
[00:04:51]  You know, it's just jokes, man.
[00:04:52]  Comedy, bro.
[00:04:54]  Yeah, dude.
[00:04:56]  That's going to happen three more times.
[00:04:57]  100%.
[00:04:58]  There's no doubt in my mind that it's going to happen again.
[00:05:00]  Okay, I'll sit still like this.
[00:05:01]  Good luck.
[00:05:01]  Can you hear me now, dude?
[00:05:03]  Well, he's not back there yet.
[00:05:05]  Go back to your station, dude.
[00:05:07]  Testing, testing.
[00:05:10]  What's your name?
[00:05:10]  I don't want to call you dude.
[00:05:11]  Cassetta.
[00:05:12]  I'm going to call you dude.
[00:05:13]  He fucked me.
[00:05:16]  Tom Cassetta.
[00:05:17]  Tom Cassetta.
[00:05:18]  Let me tell you something, Bobby.
[00:05:19]  The look in his eye.
[00:05:20]  Is Bobby's underwear inside up?
[00:05:22]  He fucking hates you.
[00:05:23]  It's his second day on it, probably.
[00:05:25]  Oh, do you hate me, dude?
[00:05:26]  Look at his face.
[00:05:26]  Oh, wait, stop.
[00:05:28]  Oh, shit.
[00:05:28]  Look at his fucking face.
[00:05:29]  He's livid.
[00:05:30]  You know what?
[00:05:31]  You want to say, he wants to say, Charlie.
[00:05:33]  Yeah.
[00:05:34]  Like, we're attacking him.
[00:05:36]  Like a nom.
[00:05:37]  Remember, nom?
[00:05:38]  Why are you saying we?
[00:05:40]  You're attacking him, and you're.
[00:05:40]  You're Charlie.
[00:05:41]  You're Korean.
[00:05:42]  Try that again.
[00:05:42]  Try to get it.
[00:05:44]  Clean in.
[00:05:45]  Get a clean take.
[00:05:46]  Clean take.
[00:05:48]  Come in.
[00:05:48]  Try it again.
[00:05:49]  That thing didn't work.
[00:05:49]  It didn't work.
[00:05:50]  I'm glad I had that phone.
[00:05:51]  Oh, we're coming back.
[00:05:52]  Dude, dude, what was up with his face, Santino?
[00:05:54]  Did you notice something about his face?
[00:05:55]  What the fuck was that?
[00:05:55]  What was on his face?
[00:05:56]  What do you think he was thinking, dude?
[00:05:58]  Yeah, he thought, he's Mitch McConnell, and I'm his wife.
[00:06:02]  God damn, dude.
[00:06:03]  What the fuck?
[00:06:05]  Yeah, yeah.
[00:06:07]  He's a fuck, love bill.
[00:06:08]  That's what I got to Bobby for.
[00:06:09]  Political takes.
[00:06:11]  Switched it up like that, bro.
[00:06:12]  That was cool.
[00:06:12]  I think.
[00:06:13]  Go back to fucking Rodney King.
[00:06:14]  Let's go.
[00:06:14]  Let's try that.
[00:06:15]  Yeah, we're talking about.
[00:06:16]  Yeah, yeah.
[00:06:18]  Let's try that one.
[00:06:19]  What? Rodney King?
[00:06:19]  Yeah, let's go back to that one.
[00:06:21]  That's a safe topic.
[00:06:25]  You were on the roof?
[00:06:26]  Weren't you on a roof?
[00:06:26]  Yeah, I was on the roof.
[00:06:27]  You were on a roof?
[00:06:29]  But here's the thing.
[00:06:30]  This is not a joke, bro.
[00:06:31]  What happened before Rodney King was a year before.
[00:06:35]  It's so funny.
[00:06:35]  You're old enough to remember the timeline.
[00:06:37]  Yeah, I was around, dude.
[00:06:38]  I'm old, bro.
[00:06:40]  Relax.
[00:06:40]  Oh, I'm sorry.
[00:06:41]  My bad.
[00:06:42]  Relax.
[00:06:42]  I got, you know, dude.
[00:06:43]  You do get defensive around Akash.
[00:06:45]  Yeah.
[00:06:45]  Have you noticed that?
[00:06:46]  Can I tell you why, though?
[00:06:47]  Why?
[00:06:47]  Why?
[00:06:47]  Because that's not who he is.
[00:06:49]  Oh, shit.
[00:06:50]  Who am I, Bobby?
[00:06:52]  Oh, you want to know who you are?
[00:06:53]  Yes.
[00:06:53]  Go.
[00:06:54]  Where's my phone at?
[00:06:55]  Yeah, I'd be on the table.
[00:06:57]  Okay.
[00:06:58]  I'll tell you who you are.
[00:06:59]  He planned this last night at dinner, right?
[00:07:00]  Yeah, yeah.
[00:07:02]  I'm dead serious.
[00:07:03]  Last night at dinner, he goes, I can't wait to see Akash tomorrow.
[00:07:06]  I'm going to show his text messages.
[00:07:08]  I plan on bringing this up.
[00:07:10]  Hey, show your responses.
[00:07:11]  Okay.
[00:07:11]  I plan on bringing this up, okay?
[00:07:13]  Okay, bring it up.
[00:07:13]  All right, so this is the beginning.
[00:07:15]  If you're a part of our relationship, you fuck.
[00:07:16]  Yeah.
[00:07:17]  I said, Bobby Lee, because you didn't have my number, right?
[00:07:19]  Yeah.
[00:07:20]  You open up with, love you, love you, buddy.
[00:07:23]  Love you, buddy.
[00:07:24]  Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[00:07:24]  Is that new?
[00:07:25]  Yeah, but that's not the vibe you're giving me.
[00:07:27]  You're not giving me a love you buddy.
[00:07:28]  And then I'm going to read all of them.
[00:07:29]  You two, you're super funny and you're nicer.
[00:07:32]  No, that was me saying that.
[00:07:33]  For real, man.
[00:07:39]  I said, YouTube, buddy, and you're nicer than Schultz.
[00:07:42]  I fuck.
[00:07:42]  My bad.
[00:07:43]  I fucked that up.
[00:07:44]  Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[00:07:45]  But you keep, dude.
[00:07:47]  I kicked you.
[00:07:47]  You got an e-coin buddy.
[00:07:49]  Can I tell you something?
[00:07:49]  Yeah, how you doing every day?
[00:07:51]  How are you doing?
[00:07:52]  And then I show you this, and I send you this dick picture.
[00:07:54]  What was that?
[00:07:55]  That's my penis.
[00:07:56]  It's a dick pic.
[00:07:57]  Well, that's a little macaroon.
[00:07:59]  Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[00:08:01]  Are you circumcised?
[00:08:02]  No.
[00:08:02]  Yes, he is.
[00:08:03]  Yes, I am.
[00:08:03]  Yes, he is.
[00:08:04]  I don't even know what that means.
[00:08:05]  I texted you once a week.
[00:08:06]  I texted him once a week because he has just gotten sober.
[00:08:08]  I want to check on him.
[00:08:09]  Never responded, this guy.
[00:08:11]  What a piece of shit you are.
[00:08:12]  You're a nice guy.
[00:08:13]  I am a nice guy.
[00:08:15]  You're so wild.
[00:08:16]  I am empathetic.
[00:08:17]  He'll show up.
[00:08:17]  Very much so.
[00:08:18]  You'll get high if you eat that.
[00:08:19]  That's a mushroom.
[00:08:21]  That's so wild.
[00:08:22]  I've never seen that in my life.
[00:08:23]  That was that burning man.
[00:08:23]  Yeah, that was a burning man.
[00:08:24]  We just walked around his dick out.
[00:08:25]  He's like, lick, lick, lick, lick.
[00:08:27]  Yep.
[00:08:29]  My point is, bro.
[00:08:31]  So, by the way, the texting didn't work because everything sounded nice.
[00:08:33]  You didn't get anything.
[00:08:34]  I heard about you when you exactly.
[00:08:35]  I told you, I'm just saying that's who I like.
[00:08:38]  Do you remember when I said you on the podcast?
[00:08:40]  If you need anything, you call me or Schultz.
[00:08:41]  We'll be there for you.
[00:08:42]  No fucking questions.
[00:08:43]  I don't lie about this.
[00:08:44]  I know, but when I came up the stairs just now, you're like, fuck you.
[00:08:46]  No, he's not.
[00:08:47]  No, no, no.
[00:08:47]  That's not a good thing.
[00:08:48]  I give you a big hug.
[00:08:49]  You did give me a hug.
[00:08:50]  I gave you a big hug.
[00:08:51]  That's right.
[00:08:51]  That's my bad.
[00:08:53]  You want to see my bad?
[00:08:54]  That's my bad.
[00:08:54]  You want to see.
[00:08:55]  Yeah, I apologize.
[00:08:57]  You want to see toxic tech messages between Akash and what he said to me?
[00:09:01]  Listen to this fucking shit.
[00:09:02]  Okay.
[00:09:02]  What did he say?
[00:09:03]  Ready?
[00:09:04]  Yeah.
[00:09:04]  Go ahead.
[00:09:05]  This shit's insane.
[00:09:06]  Okay, go ahead.
[00:09:08]  Sorry for getting back to you so late.
[00:09:10]  No problem.
[00:09:11]  Can you do 22nd?
[00:09:12]  Absolutely.
[00:09:13]  I mean, that's the kind of fucking chaos.
[00:09:18]  It's a repulsive attitude, he has to be.
[00:09:20]  Yeah, yeah.
[00:09:20]  Bad behavior.
[00:09:21]  But he is just a bad guy.
[00:09:22]  When you were going through a really hard time.
[00:09:24]  You're right.
[00:09:24]  You're right.
[00:09:24]  And I came here all aggressive.
[00:09:26]  Yeah.
[00:09:26]  Are you sober now?
[00:09:28]  Yeah.
[00:09:28]  Good for you, man.
[00:09:30]  Seven months sober, dude.
[00:09:32]  He's not sober.
[00:09:32]  It's not seven months.
[00:09:33]  It has been seven months.
[00:09:35]  What was the month?
[00:09:35]  I don't remember the date.
[00:09:36]  Yeah, that's a fucking easy thing.
[00:09:37]  But it's been seven months.
[00:09:38]  He makes it up.
[00:09:39]  I don't make it remember.
[00:09:40]  He makes it up.
[00:09:41]  You think I'm making it up?
[00:09:42]  I think so.
[00:09:43]  Everyone who's sober remembers the date.
[00:09:45]  No, that's not true.
[00:09:46]  Yeah.
[00:09:46]  When I went to a rehab first one in 1988, I asked my confidence.
[00:09:51]  You were born.
[00:09:51]  Interesting, you remember the date.
[00:09:53]  Ain't that innocent?
[00:09:54]  You remember the date?
[00:09:57]  You're right.
[00:09:58]  You're right.
[00:09:58]  Seven months, dude.
[00:09:59]  Can I tell you something?
[00:10:00]  You know why he knows it?
[00:10:01]  You know why he knows it's seven months?
[00:10:02]  Because I told him it's seven months.
[00:10:03]  Oh, but he is actually still seven months.
[00:10:04]  Yeah, seven months.
[00:10:05]  It is hot.
[00:10:06]  You're a good friend, dude.
[00:10:07]  I've been trying to.
[00:10:07]  I'm his best friend.
[00:10:08]  He just doesn't give me a bad thing.
[00:10:08]  I haven't done anything, Bob.
[00:10:10]  The interesting thing about you, you're like almost as funny when you're sober.
[00:10:18]  Hey, hey, hey, hey.
[00:10:20]  It's okay.
[00:10:23]  Bobby, that's a joke.
[00:10:24]  That's not real.
[00:10:25]  No, I know.
[00:10:26]  I understand that.
[00:10:27]  I don't know New York shit.
[00:10:29]  He is a new vibe.
[00:10:30]  He doesn't like New York stuff.
[00:10:31]  Yo, yo, yo.
[00:10:32]  Why does he like New York?
[00:10:33]  He hates New York stuff.
[00:10:33]  I hate it.
[00:10:34]  He hates the people.
[00:10:35]  He hates how busy.
[00:10:36]  He doesn't like the culture or the fast joke talking.
[00:10:38]  He doesn't like any of that stuff.
[00:10:39]  I'm a New Yorker.
[00:10:40]  Yeah.
[00:10:40]  This sounds like a New York.
[00:10:41]  Yo, you're a New Yorker.
[00:10:42]  We don't like that.
[00:10:42]  No, you walk down the street.
[00:10:43]  You hear bakaboos, bakaboosh.
[00:10:45]  And you're like, what the fuck are the language?
[00:10:46]  This is in Chinatown.
[00:10:47]  That's like a bad thing.
[00:10:48]  Oh, that's Galaxy.
[00:10:49]  Yeah.
[00:10:50]  And then you're going to be.
[00:10:51]  You do know the Bakabush guy.
[00:10:52]  You do know that guy.
[00:10:52]  Bakabush.
[00:10:53]  Yeah, Bakabush.
[00:10:53]  That's unfortunate.
[00:10:54]  Bakabush is great.
[00:10:55]  Bakaboosh.
[00:10:55]  Bakabush.
[00:10:56]  Yeah, and then the women don't look at me at all like I'm fucking invisible.
[00:11:00]  Right.
[00:11:01]  You're like, I'm like, you know what I mean?
[00:11:02]  You know what he does?
[00:11:03]  He walks like 10 paces behind me when we're walking.
[00:11:05]  When we come here.
[00:11:05]  Because you get all the looks.
[00:11:06]  Well.
[00:11:07]  Okay, my boy.
[00:11:09]  Okay.
[00:11:11]  Okay.
[00:11:12]  This guy's a New York 10.
[00:11:14]  That's a real fan right there.
[00:11:15]  No, no, no.
[00:11:16]  But he doesn't.
[00:11:16]  But he walks behind me because he doesn't want us to not.
[00:11:19]  He doesn't, if we get recognized.
[00:11:21]  Like, if he gets, he doesn't like it if I get recognized and he doesn't.
[00:11:23]  That hurts you?
[00:11:24]  It doesn't bother me.
[00:11:24]  If somebody goes, Bobby Lee, and I walk, I don't give a shit.
[00:11:27]  He hates it when someone goes, Shit, you know, and they say they don't say anything to you.
[00:11:31]  He hates it.
[00:11:32]  Why do you like?
[00:11:32]  I hate that so much.
[00:11:33]  Why can't you allow him to have some fans?
[00:11:35]  Fuck it.
[00:11:35]  See?
[00:11:36]  I don't see it.
[00:11:36]  He's a great fucking guy.
[00:11:38]  You're fucking mean, dude.
[00:11:39]  What is mean?
[00:11:39]  I don't do that shit, dude.
[00:11:40]  You walk 10 paces behind me.
[00:11:42]  No, do you see me?
[00:11:42]  Do you wanna behave me?
[00:11:44]  I do, but check that out.
[00:11:44]  Do you not like it when someone else?
[00:11:46]  He yells, Andrew Santino.
[00:11:47]  You should see my face.
[00:11:47]  I always go like this.
[00:11:50]  So condescending.
[00:11:51]  I do.
[00:11:52]  Akash.
[00:11:52]  Like, it's what it's hard, bro.
[00:11:54]  That's a pain look.
[00:11:55]  That's a grinner.
[00:12:14]  Thank you, dude.
[00:12:16]  So much pain.
[00:12:17]  It hurts so much.
[00:12:18]  There is suffering.
[00:12:20]  There is suffering.
[00:12:21]  See, he admitted.
[00:12:21]  But there's pleasure, too.
[00:12:23]  It's a combination of things.
[00:12:24]  There is suffering.
[00:12:25]  It is.
[00:12:26]  Meanwhile, you call out and call out Bobby Lee.
[00:12:28]  Bobby Lee.
[00:12:34]  There's something going on behind his eyes, dude.
[00:12:35]  That wasn't real.
[00:12:36]  That was a good idea.
[00:12:37]  No, that was.
[00:12:38]  John Ellis.
[00:12:39]  You know what that was?
[00:12:40]  That was, I'm so glad somebody finally recognized this guy.
[00:12:43]  It's been all day.
[00:12:44]  No, no, it's been all day.
[00:12:47]  What if it's a white guy that only recognizes him?
[00:12:49]  Does that sting a little bit more?
[00:12:53]  It's happened.
[00:12:57]  Dude, no.
[00:12:59]  You know it doesn't.
[00:13:01]  What if it's an athlete?
[00:13:02]  What if there's an athlete that recognizes him over you, like a famous fucking pain?
[00:13:07]  Penny Pony player.
[00:13:08]  It's never happened.
[00:13:09]  Well, that's not true.
[00:13:10]  What?
[00:13:11]  Who?
[00:13:11]  Who?
[00:13:12]  No, no, no, no.
[00:13:13]  I only know one athlete.
[00:13:14]  Yeah, he only knows one.
[00:13:15]  Landon and Donovan.
[00:13:16]  Yeah, yeah.
[00:13:18]  And no one gives a shit about him.
[00:13:19]  He's a great soccer player.
[00:13:20]  He's one of the best.
[00:13:21]  But Landon Donovan.
[00:13:22]  I only know Landon Donovan.
[00:13:23]  He's the only one.
[00:13:24]  Yeah, yeah.
[00:13:24]  Well, you know, I know Robin Donkowski.
[00:13:26]  Yeah, you do.
[00:13:27]  Robin Donkon.
[00:13:28]  The Gronk.
[00:13:30]  The Gronk, The Gronk.
[00:13:31]  His government.
[00:13:31]  I did a TV show with him.
[00:13:32]  He's right.
[00:13:33]  I did a TV show with the Gronk.
[00:13:34]  Serena Reno?
[00:13:36]  What was that TV show?
[00:13:37]  Do you think if he saw you two, he'd recognize you and not Santino?
[00:13:40]  100%.
[00:13:40]  100%.
[00:13:41]  But what was the TV show?
[00:13:42]  It was called Gaymod.
[00:13:43]  It was like a.
[00:13:44]  It was so good.
[00:13:44]  What was it about?
[00:13:48]  What was it about?
[00:13:49]  What is it about?
[00:13:51]  It was a daytime game show.
[00:13:52]  It was an ABC game show.
[00:13:54]  Oh, okay.
[00:13:54]  It was one of those things where you're on Rob's team.
[00:13:57]  Cha-ching.
[00:13:58]  Yeah, and it was a chat.
[00:13:59]  Susan Carmelos on Serena Williams team.
[00:14:01]  And you guys compete in games.
[00:14:03]  Oh, wow.
[00:14:03]  And you have green slime.
[00:14:04]  You're climbing up a ladder.

=== Million Dollar Law (02:39) ===

[00:14:05]  It's fucking terrible.
[00:14:06]  Okay.
[00:14:06]  Yeah, but you did for that.
[00:14:09]  I like that.
[00:14:09]  I like that idea.
[00:14:11]  You don't do shit for money?
[00:14:12]  So, of course.
[00:14:13]  Sometimes you do, right?
[00:14:14]  Of course.
[00:14:15]  You don't do shit for money?
[00:14:16]  Yeah.
[00:14:17]  What are you talking about?
[00:14:19]  Nobody cares.
[00:14:19]  I would do gay porn if it cost.
[00:14:22]  How much?
[00:14:22]  Oh, dude.
[00:14:23]  How much?
[00:14:23]  Fuck.
[00:14:24]  A million a shoot?
[00:14:25]  You would pay a million dollars just to do it.
[00:14:27]  Yeah.
[00:14:29]  No, no.
[00:14:30]  You can do it really cheap.
[00:14:34]  I googled it.
[00:14:35]  That's how it costs.
[00:14:36]  How much it costs, right?
[00:14:37]  A million dollars.
[00:14:38]  To get in.
[00:14:40]  Right, right.
[00:14:40]  Well, it's like a membership.
[00:14:41]  It's like a Ryan.
[00:14:42]  Yeah, yeah.
[00:14:42]  You do referrals.
[00:14:43]  Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[00:14:44]  You would never do gay porn.
[00:14:45]  No, for a million dollars a shoot, I would.
[00:14:47]  No, you wouldn't.
[00:14:49]  40 in a row, 40 days in a row, my asshole would be fucking grisly and open, right?
[00:14:53]  Yeah.
[00:14:54]  But I would just be like, I would go to Nevada, get a ranch, and heal up for the rest of my life.
[00:14:58]  That's a good idea.
[00:14:59]  So funny, just to see like a little chained-up dumpling, and everyone just comes in and just annihilates your asshole.
[00:15:05]  Just like your legs and your arms are just roped to the wall.
[00:15:11]  His dick is pixelated, just one pixel.
[00:15:14]  No, I'd have that same Andrew sent you to like.
[00:15:19]  A million.
[00:15:19]  A million, you would.
[00:15:20]  A million.
[00:15:21]  A million is the number.
[00:15:22]  A million.
[00:15:23]  But you have millions.
[00:15:24]  Yeah.
[00:15:25]  Don't you have millions?
[00:15:26]  How much do you have left?
[00:15:27]  Like, keep me in life.
[00:15:29]  You're stressing me out.
[00:15:31]  Keep me in life.
[00:15:32]  You're stressing me out.
[00:15:32]  What do you mean?
[00:15:33]  How much do you have left?
[00:15:34]  How much did she leave with?
[00:15:37]  We weren't married, dude.
[00:15:39]  Again?
[00:15:39]  We weren't married.
[00:15:40]  During the process, there's no common law thing in California.
[00:15:43]  No, but like that literally is coming.
[00:15:44]  That literally is common.
[00:15:45]  Not in California.
[00:15:46]  Look it up.
[00:15:46]  There 100% is common law in California.
[00:15:49]  Google it.
[00:15:49]  Google it right now.
[00:15:50]  Somebody Google it.
[00:15:50]  Martin has a computer that you're insulting.
[00:15:53]  That is 100% there.
[00:15:54]  Funny thing is, it is.
[00:15:56]  It is.
[00:15:56]  It's not.
[00:15:57]  It is.
[00:15:58]  Google it.
[00:15:58]  It's not.
[00:15:59]  And what are you going to do if I win?
[00:16:00]  If I win?
[00:16:01]  What do you want if you're a million dollars?
[00:16:03]  I want you to poke my dick 10 times in a row.
[00:16:04]  There is no common law marriage in California.
[00:16:08]  No chance.
[00:16:08]  There isn't.
[00:16:09]  What does it say?
[00:16:11]  Does not recognize common law marriage, even though California does not have common law marriages.
[00:16:15]  Unmarried people have been together for an extended period of time.
[00:16:17]  Do you still get some rights?
[00:16:18]  There is rights.
[00:16:19]  There's laws that prevent it.
[00:16:20]  No.
[00:16:20]  Can I tell you what those rights are?
[00:16:21]  Yes.
[00:16:22]  That's only in situations where, let's suppose I was paying mortgage, she was paying my mortgage with me.
[00:16:27]  Then she has more rights, but I pay the mortgage.
[00:16:29]  Schultz.
[00:16:30]  Schultz.
[00:16:30]  Yeah, yeah.
[00:16:31]  You know, he's looked this up.
[00:16:32]  Yeah, yeah.
[00:16:34]  You know, he got scared.
[00:16:35]  Poke, pump.
[00:16:38]  Yeah, yeah.
[00:16:41]  That's a clip to the fucking internet.
[00:16:43]  Everything.

=== Mexico's Third Circle (06:34) ===

[00:16:44]  Dude, I love her.
[00:16:46]  Yeah.
[00:16:46]  She's my best friend.
[00:16:47]  Right.
[00:16:47]  And I'll always help her.
[00:16:49]  Yeah, come on.
[00:16:50]  What the fuck are you doing?
[00:16:52]  Hey, hey, that hurts a little bit.
[00:16:53]  You're not going to say that anymore when you broke up.
[00:16:55]  When I went to therapy, you have your inner circle.
[00:16:57]  So in the circle is you and God.
[00:17:00]  And then you have another circle, and those are your intimate three.
[00:17:04]  So my mom, my brother, and probably Kalila.
[00:17:07]  And then the third circle.
[00:17:08]  Oh, shit.
[00:17:09]  In the third circle, you're the only one in that third circle.
[00:17:12]  But why can't he just get into the seventh circle?
[00:17:14]  It's tough, dude.
[00:17:15]  Yeah, you can have a certain amount of money.
[00:17:16]  It's a tough circle, dude.
[00:17:18]  Oh, what?
[00:17:18]  Really?
[00:17:21]  Yeah.
[00:17:21]  What circle am I in your circle?
[00:17:23]  I don't have any circles, man.
[00:17:25]  Oh, everyone's in your circle?
[00:17:26]  It's just me by myself.
[00:17:28]  That's right.
[00:17:29]  Everyone else is just rotating around.
[00:17:31]  No, you're in.
[00:17:32]  Where would you really be?
[00:17:33]  Yeah.
[00:17:33]  You'd be in my intimate, my intimate, whatever the one that is.
[00:17:36]  Okay, you're in two then.
[00:17:37]  Oh, fucking bullshit.
[00:17:39]  That doesn't feel fucking bullshit.
[00:17:42]  I've walked you through the fire multiple times.
[00:17:44]  Multiple times.
[00:17:45]  Why?
[00:17:46]  You lied to me in fucking Mexico.
[00:17:48]  Whoa.
[00:17:48]  What did I lie to you about?
[00:17:49]  What did I lie to you about?
[00:17:50]  Because everyone's telling me, don't get me fucking liquor, right?
[00:17:53]  And you would bring me a drink.
[00:17:54]  I go, I'll get what you drink.
[00:17:56]  What's about to happen?
[00:17:57]  Is great.
[00:17:58]  Please tell me.
[00:17:58]  Yeah, no.
[00:17:59]  No, no, no, this is great.
[00:17:59]  This is the message thing.
[00:18:00]  This is what I love.
[00:18:01]  I've never backfired with you.
[00:18:03]  I feel like when you tell us, tell them what happened in Mexico.
[00:18:06]  Tell them what happened in Mexico.
[00:18:07]  In Mexico, okay?
[00:18:08]  Yeah.
[00:18:09]  Everyone.
[00:18:11]  No, he's in my way.
[00:18:13]  Tell them what happened to me.
[00:18:14]  Look at this face, dude.
[00:18:15]  This acting, bro.
[00:18:16]  Okay, go.
[00:18:17]  I'm fucking serious.
[00:18:17]  No, you're in Hineapple Express.
[00:18:18]  I know.
[00:18:19]  Go ahead.
[00:18:19]  Let me start over, dude.
[00:18:22]  In Mexico.
[00:18:23]  Yeah.
[00:18:24]  All right.
[00:18:24]  In Mexico, all the people we work with were telling him, don't get him alcohol, don't get an alcohol, right?
[00:18:29]  So there was an open bar, right?
[00:18:31]  And he goes, I already know is to not get it.
[00:18:34]  And you look at me, you go, what do you want to drink?
[00:18:36]  Is that the same thing you're having?
[00:18:37]  You went to the fucking thing, you had liquor, and you gave me some weird sprite thing that had no liquor in it.
[00:18:43]  Right.
[00:18:43]  What a fuck.
[00:18:44]  Wow.
[00:18:45]  How dare he save your life?
[00:18:47]  But I'm already in the disease.
[00:18:49]  I'm going to get it anyway.
[00:18:50]  I'm not going to support it.
[00:18:51]  Not going to support it.
[00:18:52]  Not going to support it.
[00:18:52]  Yeah.
[00:18:53]  If I relapse, Andrew, Andy Schultz.
[00:18:56]  Yes.
[00:18:56]  If I relapse, yeah.
[00:18:57]  What do you think, dude?
[00:18:58]  He got mad at me.
[00:18:59]  How do you get mad at me?
[00:19:00]  So mad at me for not giving him liquor.
[00:19:01]  What do you think love is, Bob?
[00:19:02]  This is what addiction does.
[00:19:03]  Is that why you stayed in that relationship so long?
[00:19:09]  Dude.
[00:19:10]  Bro.
[00:19:11]  No, I got to shut up.
[00:19:13]  No, no, no.
[00:19:14]  I want your fucking life to come off to get my home.
[00:19:18]  Bro, I love you.
[00:19:21]  That's what you fucking texted me, you fuck.
[00:19:24]  You got up like a transformer, dude.
[00:19:26]  That was a different thing.
[00:19:34]  Bro.
[00:19:34]  Turn to formal.
[00:19:39]  More than me.
[00:19:43]  Yeah.
[00:19:44]  Bro, that's the guy.
[00:19:44]  That's the guy going over there.
[00:19:45]  That's the guy going.
[00:19:46]  That's the dude going, more than the mitiga.
[00:19:49]  Looking around.
[00:19:50]  Where is he looking?
[00:19:58]  So, proof is in the pudding that I did the right thing in Mexico.
[00:20:01]  Did I not?
[00:20:02]  Yes, dude.
[00:20:03]  And you know why this whole trick started?
[00:20:04]  He got into a fight with me.
[00:20:05]  He yelled at me.
[00:20:06]  Yelled at me for not getting him booze.
[00:20:11]  Bobby's the only transformer that's more dangerous as a car, though.
[00:20:17]  Dude.
[00:20:19]  Nothing to be funny, dude.
[00:20:23]  Oh, my God.
[00:20:24]  That's so fucking funny.
[00:20:26]  Watch out.
[00:20:26]  He's turning back into a beetle.
[00:20:32]  That's really funny.
[00:20:33]  Fuck me.
[00:20:35]  You're a real funny person.
[00:20:35]  This dude relapsed in Mexico, got mad that I didn't serve him booze, and then the breaking point was got drunk.
[00:20:42]  Got drunk on his own.
[00:20:43]  No, he started this.
[00:20:44]  But in the hotel room, don't talk about that.
[00:20:46]  I'm absolutely going to tell the hotel room.
[00:20:47]  Say it.
[00:20:49]  What happened?
[00:20:49]  Got drunk.
[00:20:50]  Well, he's sober now.
[00:20:50]  So we're actually, and we're happy.
[00:20:51]  We're not using, I'm not using this against him at all.
[00:20:53]  And he knows that.
[00:20:54]  But he got drunk on it.
[00:20:55]  He got drunk without me.
[00:20:56]  Yeah.
[00:20:56]  You went behind my back and did it anyway because I was trying to like, I walked into the room and then he left and got booze, didn't you?
[00:21:01]  What day of the week was this?
[00:21:02]  Wednesday or Thursday.
[00:21:03]  Wednesday or Thursday.
[00:21:04]  Oh my God.
[00:21:05]  And then you threw up all over the place, right?
[00:21:06]  In my hotel room.
[00:21:07]  In this hotel room.
[00:21:08]  And then I came to the door the next day because he wouldn't answer his phone.
[00:21:10]  And what did you greet me with?
[00:21:12]  Pooh.
[00:21:12]  Pooh.
[00:21:13]  He had shit all over his hands.
[00:21:16]  Oh, my God, dude.
[00:21:17]  Because you were having fun with Pooh.
[00:21:20]  You just got his replay time.
[00:21:24]  Yeah, yeah.
[00:21:24]  Fine.
[00:21:26]  He answers the door with poop on his hands.
[00:21:30]  And then he goes, there's drill-up all over the chairs.
[00:21:32]  Yeah, yeah.
[00:21:33]  It was.
[00:21:33]  I didn't know.
[00:21:34]  I was so drunk.
[00:21:35]  And I poo all over.
[00:21:36]  I don't know why.
[00:21:36]  There was poo everywhere.
[00:21:37]  I poo all over my hands, vomit everywhere.
[00:21:39]  I had a vomit beard.
[00:21:41]  And I came, I go, poo.
[00:21:44]  He's like, we got to go home.
[00:21:45]  We got to go home.
[00:21:46]  We got to go.
[00:21:46]  You guys left Mexico.
[00:21:48]  That was our second to last night.
[00:21:49]  Second to last day.
[00:21:50]  We had to do one more show.
[00:21:51]  We left him there for the last show.
[00:21:53]  Yeah.
[00:21:53]  But my show was good.
[00:21:54]  It was the money.
[00:21:54]  It was funny.
[00:21:56]  No, you know what was funny, though?
[00:21:57]  That was the last day he ever fucked her.
[00:21:59]  I mean, he knew that was it.
[00:22:01]  That was it.
[00:22:02]  It doesn't get lower.
[00:22:02]  I think he did it on purpose.
[00:22:03]  It does.
[00:22:04]  But I stopped at that.
[00:22:05]  Yeah.
[00:22:05]  I just think he knew it was over.
[00:22:07]  I think I knew it was over.
[00:22:08]  I can't continue because I don't want to lose everything.
[00:22:11]  Oh, you know what I mean?
[00:22:12]  Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[00:22:12]  You could just feel things just slipping away.
[00:22:14]  And then when I get real serious with him, would you say what he said?
[00:22:19]  Joke again.
[00:22:22]  Would you say?
[00:22:22]  It's okay, Andy.
[00:22:26]  Would you say?
[00:22:27]  Nothing.
[00:22:27]  Okay, I'm not a good actor.
[00:22:29]  All right.
[00:22:30]  Okay, but you were saying.
[00:22:31]  No, I'm sober now.
[00:22:33]  Yeah, that's good.
[00:22:34]  Santina, you're saying when you get real serious.
[00:22:36]  He knows when I get, he knows when I'm actually being serious.
[00:22:38]  And then I got real serious in Mexico, and then it was like the end.
[00:22:41]  Yeah.
[00:22:42]  It was the end.
[00:22:43]  We both knew it was like, it's not going to happen.
[00:22:45]  But Santino gives you a long leash.
[00:22:47]  He does.
[00:22:48]  Yeah, yeah.
[00:22:48]  He's very patient.
[00:22:49]  But you know what?
[00:22:50]  He's very patient with you.
[00:22:51]  I want to say something that is not funny.
[00:22:53]  It's real.
[00:22:54]  You know, I have come to understand and feel that he is one of my best friends.
[00:23:06]  It's okay.
[00:23:08]  It's okay.
[00:23:10]  I regret saying it, but that's how I feel.
[00:23:13]  It was still kind of shitty.
[00:23:14]  It was, I finally come to understand he's 20 years later.

=== Coffee Shop Soldier (05:07) ===

[00:23:18]  Third circle.
[00:23:21]  Yeah, yeah.
[00:23:22]  Third circle by myself.
[00:23:23]  So this man loves you.
[00:23:24]  I love him as well.
[00:23:26]  I know he knows you love him.
[00:23:27]  Yeah.
[00:23:27]  But do you know that he loves you?
[00:23:29]  I do.
[00:23:29]  I really do.
[00:23:30]  I really do because there's a, you know, you can be loved.
[00:23:33]  I know, and I'm accepting it.
[00:23:35]  I accept the love.
[00:23:36]  I feel love here.
[00:23:38]  A lot of love here.
[00:23:38]  We do love here.
[00:23:39]  Yeah, I feel when I walk in here, when I lock eyes with you, it's like I'm seeing like an old army veteran.
[00:23:44]  Like we're in war together.
[00:23:46]  Against.
[00:23:46]  Against.
[00:23:49]  Really, right.
[00:23:51]  You both pop up with guns and you're like, hey, man.
[00:23:54]  Still here?
[00:23:55]  Yeah.
[00:23:57]  See you later.
[00:24:00]  Get down.
[00:24:00]  Look at the face, Bobby.
[00:24:02]  How bad of a soldier is that?
[00:24:03]  How bad of a soldier would he be, though?
[00:24:04]  Oh, in any war.
[00:24:05]  Oh, my God.
[00:24:06]  These guys are so stupid.
[00:24:07]  What do you mean?
[00:24:08]  You think you'd be good?
[00:24:09]  I grew up in San Diego.
[00:24:10]  So obviously, you know, I grew up in the middle class area, right?
[00:24:12]  With tennis courts and stuff like that.
[00:24:14]  Yeah, and surfing, brah, and all that stuff, bro.
[00:24:16]  But if I grew up in an area where I had to be hardened, oh, brah, I'll be hard.
[00:24:22]  But you didn't.
[00:24:23]  But you didn't.
[00:24:25]  You didn't.
[00:24:25]  I know, but I'm just saying.
[00:24:26]  We're talking about you right now.
[00:24:28]  You right now is not hard.
[00:24:30]  But if you did, you would be so fucking hard.
[00:24:32]  Right now, yeah, and if I was black, I'd be in the NBA.
[00:24:35]  What does that mean?
[00:24:36]  What does that even mean?
[00:24:37]  You're just making up shit.
[00:24:38]  If I grew up in a tough area, I'd be tougher.
[00:24:40]  Yeah, dude.
[00:24:41]  Actually, so give me the scenario.
[00:24:43]  You win any war, dead.
[00:24:44]  Immediately get a talk from the Pentagon.
[00:24:45]  From the Pentagon.
[00:24:46]  Yeah, I get a cell phone.
[00:24:48]  What number is this?
[00:24:48]  I'll pick it up anyway, right?
[00:24:51]  You know what I mean?
[00:24:52]  I'm likely.
[00:24:53]  I am likely.
[00:24:53]  If you're a Pentagon, you're going to war, right?
[00:24:56]  I would have to go to basic training like everyone else, right?
[00:24:58]  Yep, yep.
[00:24:58]  Right.
[00:24:58]  So I would do the push-ups.
[00:25:00]  Yep.
[00:25:00]  You know what I mean?
[00:25:02]  Are you free?
[00:25:03]  I would do it.
[00:25:04]  That goes that way.
[00:25:05]  Yeah.
[00:25:06]  I would do the push-ups, right?
[00:25:08]  This guy knows his push-ups.
[00:25:10]  I would do the pull-ups, right?
[00:25:11]  You know what I mean?
[00:25:12]  Legs.
[00:25:12]  Leg lifts.
[00:25:14]  Good core, right?
[00:25:15]  And then I would do the wake up, do the running.
[00:25:17]  Run the bands, do the straps, the straps.
[00:25:19]  No, yeah, there you go.
[00:25:20]  Straps, right?
[00:25:21]  And I would like, how long are you there?
[00:25:23]  Six months?
[00:25:25]  How long do you do at war?
[00:25:27]  Eight weeks.
[00:25:28]  No, no, basically.
[00:25:29]  Yeah, eight weeks.
[00:25:29]  Eight weeks.
[00:25:30]  That would turn you into a soldier.
[00:25:31]  And then, right?
[00:25:32]  And then they would evaluate me.
[00:25:34]  Right.
[00:25:34]  Would they not evaluate?
[00:25:35]  Or they're just staying there, kid.
[00:25:36]  No, they would evaluate.
[00:25:37]  No, they probably need you.
[00:25:38]  They need you out there.
[00:25:39]  They need you out there.
[00:25:39]  Hey, cold.
[00:25:40]  But it'd be a specific task, like, because of your age, right?
[00:25:43]  They're not, you can't just.
[00:25:46]  Keep going, keep going, keep going, keep going.
[00:25:48]  I want to hear it so bad.
[00:25:50]  Don't be gentle.
[00:25:50]  I'm not being gentle.
[00:25:52]  I'm just saying, at a, you know, what is it called?
[00:25:54]  The very mature age, there's you can't just join the army for a regular job.
[00:25:59]  You can't be a job.
[00:25:59]  You could be a general, though.
[00:26:00]  You've seen a lot of wars, you know?
[00:26:01]  Oh, right, right, right.
[00:26:02]  That's right.
[00:26:02]  I would change my name to Robert.
[00:26:05]  So you'd be Robert.
[00:26:06]  Robert Lee.
[00:26:07]  Warren.
[00:26:08]  Yes.
[00:26:09]  Confederate flag on my fucking chest.
[00:26:10]  You're losing general.
[00:26:12]  I think we just found out.
[00:26:15]  I'm just in the scenario, dude.
[00:26:17]  You know what I mean?
[00:26:17]  Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[00:26:18]  By the way, how easily would he be tricked during Confederate times to join the wrong side?
[00:26:21]  Like, you know, in Civil War, they'd be like, you've got to fight.
[00:26:23]  You've got to fight on our side.
[00:26:24]  He'd be like, all right.
[00:26:26]  He wouldn't kick back at all.
[00:26:27]  You don't think he is what it is.
[00:26:28]  What do you mean?
[00:26:29]  You don't think you would kick back, dude?
[00:26:30]  I would go with the blacks for sure.
[00:26:32]  100%?
[00:26:33]  100%.
[00:26:33]  You see, the way he said it sounds sus?
[00:26:35]  Yeah.
[00:26:36]  I'd go with the blacks.
[00:26:38]  What did you say to the coffee guy this morning?
[00:26:39]  There would be communication problems like in rush hour.
[00:26:43]  Right?
[00:26:43]  I'm not saying that.
[00:26:44]  There's going to be like a feeling out point of like, what are you talking about right now?
[00:26:47]  You know what I mean?
[00:26:48]  But I would still definitely join your fucking clan.
[00:26:50]  We would keep him alive.
[00:26:51]  Yeah, you don't keep the funny guy in the middle.
[00:26:54]  They don't say that.
[00:26:55]  They don't.
[00:26:55]  You put it on.
[00:26:56]  Plus, it's blue thing.
[00:26:57]  That's basically it.
[00:26:57]  The other only clan.
[00:26:58]  The other side of the clan.
[00:26:59]  Yeah, yeah, my bad.
[00:27:01]  Coffee guy.
[00:27:01]  He does this all the time.
[00:27:02]  Whenever he sees a black guy, he gets excited.
[00:27:04]  He gets so excited.
[00:27:05]  And the coffee guy, he comes down.
[00:27:07]  I go, do you want a coffee?
[00:27:08]  He goes, four shots.
[00:27:08]  This guy knows me, right, dog?
[00:27:09]  And I'm like, don't.
[00:27:10]  No!
[00:27:11]  Yes, he does.
[00:27:12]  You do that, you know.
[00:27:13]  Is that vernacular?
[00:27:14]  Yeah.
[00:27:15]  Do you do that?
[00:27:16]  What?
[00:27:16]  That's not wrong?
[00:27:17]  No, you don't do that.
[00:27:18]  All right.
[00:27:18]  So what do I say?
[00:27:19]  That's right.
[00:27:21]  Yeah, you just answer like a human.
[00:27:22]  Like, what if he was an Asian?
[00:27:23]  What would you say that?
[00:27:27]  What type of coffee is that?
[00:27:29]  Where is that coffee shop?
[00:27:30]  Yeah, I said, that's right.
[00:27:34]  Do you know you don't have to do that with your eye?
[00:27:39]  You're like, I'm white.
[00:27:43]  So I don't know.
[00:27:43]  So, yeah, you're right.
[00:27:44]  I don't have to do that.
[00:27:44]  Yeah, you're right.
[00:27:45]  But he said at the coffee shop guy, he goes, he goes, thanks, dog.
[00:27:48]  And I said, don't say that.
[00:27:49]  And he goes, shut up.
[00:27:50]  You don't know this guy knows me, and I go, He doesn't like that.
[00:27:52]  He's just being nice, and he's not going to fucking fuck up his job by being like, Yeah, and then he goes like this.
[00:27:56]  Then he goes, Uh, well, what's better if I say, What did you say?
[00:27:59]  What's better if I say, uh, what's up, player?
[00:28:01]  What's up, playa?
[00:28:01]  And I was like, Dog no, even worse.
[00:28:04]  I know I fucked it up.
[00:28:05]  Come on, bro.
[00:28:07]  I get nervous in New York.
[00:28:08]  He sounds like you know how old, you know, how like an old white guy that meets like a young black, someone's young black friend, and they always go, like, what's happening, boys?
[00:28:15]  Like, that's exactly what he does.
[00:28:17]  He's like, Are you guys hip-hop this weekend?
[00:28:22]  I do that.
[00:28:23]  Come on, I do this.

=== Wacky Korean Doctor (15:21) ===

[00:28:26]  It's insane.
[00:28:28]  Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[00:28:29]  But maybe it's a daring.
[00:28:31]  Maybe you win the money, I do.
[00:28:34]  I feel it out, bro.
[00:28:35]  Yeah, you know what I mean?
[00:28:36]  I'm likable.
[00:28:36]  I'm cute.
[00:28:37]  Yeah.
[00:28:37]  You know what I mean?
[00:28:38]  Yeah, I'm forever cute, bro.
[00:28:39]  You're non-threatening.
[00:28:40]  You're not so non-threatening at all.
[00:28:42]  You know what I mean?
[00:28:43]  So it's like, I can do whatever I want.
[00:28:44]  You kind of can.
[00:28:45]  Yeah.
[00:28:45]  You get away with a lot.
[00:28:46]  What?
[00:28:46]  You get away with a lot.
[00:28:47]  I do get away.
[00:28:48]  Like on stage, I could show my dicks.
[00:28:50]  Everything's fine.
[00:28:51]  Maybe they just don't see it.
[00:28:54]  Did you?
[00:28:56]  The tension between these two?
[00:28:58]  Dude, I love it.
[00:28:58]  It's so fucking good.
[00:28:59]  That's so good.
[00:29:01]  It's phenomenal.
[00:29:02]  What's so aggressive?
[00:29:03]  Akasha's just waiting in a bunker and just he's just lobbing over.
[00:29:11]  I got too many unresponded text messages.
[00:29:13]  Yeah.
[00:29:13]  But welcome to the club, though.
[00:29:14]  He's really upset about that.
[00:29:16]  I know, but I might not get better.
[00:29:17]  I'm not getting better.
[00:29:18]  He is, but that's what he's been doing for years and years and years.
[00:29:21]  It's like, that's the thing we've tried to work on.
[00:29:23]  It doesn't matter.
[00:29:24]  He just am so much getting better at it.
[00:29:26]  You are.
[00:29:26]  And I've been meeting up with people now.
[00:29:28]  Really?
[00:29:29]  Yeah.
[00:29:29]  And I've been having lunch and dinners with people.
[00:29:31]  Dates?
[00:29:32]  You've been going on dates?
[00:29:32]  No, not really.
[00:29:33]  He came to dinner last night, which was huge because usually you're going to be.
[00:29:35]  Yeah, I don't ever go to.
[00:29:36]  He had a friend in town.
[00:29:37]  I went to dinner.
[00:29:38]  I normally would not go.
[00:29:39]  You came here with a girl?
[00:29:40]  That was pretty cool.
[00:29:41]  Yeah.
[00:29:41]  You brought a girl here.
[00:29:42]  She's a friend.
[00:29:43]  And I'm God.
[00:29:44]  She's a nice lady.
[00:29:45]  See where that happens.
[00:29:46]  And I.
[00:29:48]  I don't like that you think I'm the only one doing this, by the way.
[00:29:50]  What do you mean?
[00:29:50]  I don't like that he says shit and you're just like, yeah, whatever.
[00:29:53]  And then you're attacking.
[00:29:57]  You do it with an occasional way out of love.
[00:29:59]  I'm doing out of love.
[00:30:01]  You are doing it.
[00:30:01]  Andrew's an ally.
[00:30:02]  He's an ally.
[00:30:03]  I'm an ally.
[00:30:04]  He's wearing the uniform.
[00:30:05]  Look, I am.
[00:30:06]  I told you earlier I put this on for you.
[00:30:07]  Yeah.
[00:30:08]  What rank is that?
[00:30:08]  You know, right?
[00:30:09]  What rank is that?
[00:30:10]  What am I?
[00:30:10]  Am I a your sergeant?
[00:30:13]  Am I a sergeant?
[00:30:13]  Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[00:30:14]  Oh, dude.
[00:30:15]  In the Ming dynasty.
[00:30:16]  I thought I was in the Ming Dynasty.
[00:30:19]  Okay, that's racist that you would assume that it had anything to do with you.
[00:30:23]  If you had a dynasty, though, if you were the king emperor, would you have concubines?
[00:30:26]  No.
[00:30:27]  You wouldn't have any.
[00:30:28]  No.
[00:30:28]  Look around.
[00:30:30]  What do you think this show is?
[00:30:31]  That's right, you have concubines.
[00:30:32]  They're around here right now.
[00:30:33]  Yeah.
[00:30:33]  No, we rule together as a collective.
[00:30:36]  But, that's not.
[00:30:40]  That's not.
[00:30:41]  That's not.
[00:30:41]  Yeah.
[00:30:42]  Hey, hey, in this crew of you guys are playing centipede, he decides where are you?
[00:30:46]  The collective rule is.
[00:30:47]  Listen, if we're playing centipede, where are you?
[00:30:49]  I'm in the middle.
[00:30:49]  Lies.
[00:30:52]  Somebody played both.
[00:30:53]  If I get recognized in public, he gets mad.
[00:30:55]  Really?
[00:30:57]  Oh, I like this.
[00:30:58]  I killed.
[00:30:59]  I like this.
[00:31:00]  I like this.
[00:31:01]  I like.
[00:31:02]  This is real.
[00:31:04]  I get mad because I think Mark is hilarious.
[00:31:05]  And when they say that he's the Caleb Presley guy, I'm like, that's not fair to Caleb Presley.
[00:31:11]  Do you know what I'm saying?
[00:31:12]  Like, Caleb Presley holds his own thing.
[00:31:15]  He's Barstool.
[00:31:16]  No, he's Mark Agnon.
[00:31:17]  Then there's the Barstool guy.
[00:31:18]  Oh, man.
[00:31:18]  But yeah, this is a collective.
[00:31:21]  I know, I know.
[00:31:22]  But you do, do you get a little when Mark gets recognized instead of me?
[00:31:27]  Yeah, be honest.
[00:31:28]  Be honest.
[00:31:29]  Like a family function or something?
[00:31:33]  In what world would that be?
[00:31:34]  Yeah.
[00:31:34]  Does that happen actually?
[00:31:36]  I'm sure it's happened.
[00:31:37]  No, no.
[00:31:38]  No.
[00:31:38]  No.
[00:31:38]  It's going to happen soon.
[00:31:39]  Never happen.
[00:31:40]  Well, no, people recognize me and then they go, where's Andrew?
[00:31:42]  Oh, yeah.
[00:31:43]  Oh, yeah.
[00:31:43]  You missed him.
[00:31:44]  He's actually over there.
[00:31:45]  See, this is a friendship.
[00:31:46]  This is love right here.
[00:31:47]  See, yeah.
[00:31:51]  Going on now.
[00:31:51]  Yes, yes.
[00:31:52]  You and Andrew.
[00:31:53]  Two Andrews are.
[00:31:55]  A caution I, you're sidekicks.
[00:31:59]  You have to understand.
[00:32:00]  Are we the wacky neighbor?
[00:32:02]  I'm.
[00:32:04]  Wait, I'm getting that sense right now that we're the wacky neighbor.
[00:32:06]  I don't like it.
[00:32:07]  You think we would live in the same neighborhood?
[00:32:09]  Oh, my.
[00:32:12]  What are you talking about?
[00:32:15]  That's true.
[00:32:16]  That's so good.
[00:32:16]  You think I want to walk outside to smell?
[00:32:21]  Dude, dude.
[00:32:21]  You have a lot of hair on that big toe, man.
[00:32:23]  Yeah, yeah.
[00:32:23]  Solid foot, though.
[00:32:24]  Two dicks from the bottom.
[00:32:25]  That's a grapey, bro.
[00:32:26]  What is?
[00:32:27]  That's my foot, bro.
[00:32:28]  Tonight, you pull your dick out in front of people.
[00:32:30]  I know, I know, I know.
[00:32:31]  It's my bad.
[00:32:31]  My bad.
[00:32:32]  You showed them all your dick like 20 minutes ago.
[00:32:35]  He insisted.
[00:32:35]  He wouldn't let me not see his dick.
[00:32:37]  He sent me a fucking picture.
[00:32:39]  Well, can I tell you?
[00:32:39]  I said, I love you.
[00:32:40]  I'm going to defend him a little bit.
[00:32:41]  Okay.
[00:32:42]  That actually means he actually likes you.
[00:32:44]  If he sends you a dick pic, it's kind of like his.
[00:32:46]  You never send me a dick pic.
[00:32:48]  Uh-oh.
[00:32:49]  Oh, shit.
[00:32:49]  Oh.
[00:32:50]  But you showed him on the pod.
[00:32:51]  This is how he makes you want the dick.
[00:32:52]  I see you live.
[00:32:54]  That was a photo.
[00:32:55]  I've shown you my dick live.
[00:32:56]  Oh, that's true.
[00:32:57]  That's so close.
[00:32:58]  No, that's different.
[00:32:59]  That's true.
[00:32:59]  Yeah, yeah.
[00:32:59]  But if he sends you, give him a photo.
[00:33:01]  Oh, it's on my bed.
[00:33:02]  I know how it works.
[00:33:03]  Yeah, you do.
[00:33:03]  Raise the fucking roof.
[00:33:04]  All right.
[00:33:05]  Come on, dog.
[00:33:08]  Thanks, Player.
[00:33:12]  Yeah, yeah.
[00:33:13]  Drive turkeys.
[00:33:14]  Let's start with it.
[00:33:18]  But honestly, Andrew, do Andrews, do you think that we're your funny little ethnic sidekicks?
[00:33:25]  No.
[00:33:25]  No, no.
[00:33:26]  How do you feel?
[00:33:27]  No, I don't feel that at all.
[00:33:28]  You don't feel?
[00:33:29]  No.
[00:33:29]  All right.
[00:33:30]  Why?
[00:33:30]  Do you feel that way?
[00:33:31]  Right now I do.
[00:33:35]  Right now I don't.
[00:33:35]  Do you feel like an ethnic sidekick right now?
[00:33:37]  The wacky neighbor in your skin.
[00:33:39]  You're wacky.
[00:33:40]  You're more wacky.
[00:33:41]  100%.
[00:33:42]  But I'll be honest with you, given a real situation, he's way more wacky than you.
[00:33:48]  Like if somebody like grieves the both of you, you would be normal very fast and he would be very wacky quick.
[00:33:56]  Full Kramer.
[00:33:56]  Like if somebody like cuts both of you off, you might be like, oh, you jerk.
[00:34:00]  And then he would follow him home.
[00:34:01]  Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[00:34:02]  And put like a sign on their lawn.
[00:34:03]  100%.
[00:34:04]  I wouldn't even think twice.
[00:34:05]  Have you gotten out of your car?
[00:34:06]  I have the signs in my car ready.
[00:34:10]  All lives matter, right?
[00:34:16]  As I was saying, I was like, don't do that.
[00:34:19]  You gotta do it.
[00:34:20]  You gotta do it.
[00:34:21]  100%.
[00:34:22]  But that is true.
[00:34:23]  So you're not that wacky, dude.
[00:34:25]  Nah.
[00:34:25]  Oh, really?
[00:34:26]  You're a very reasonable guy.
[00:34:28]  You're you.
[00:34:29]  You're the most you you've ever been.
[00:34:30]  Thank you so much.
[00:34:31]  That's facts.
[00:34:32]  I love that.
[00:34:32]  And I love that you're free.
[00:34:34]  I'm free.
[00:34:34]  Do you know what I mean?
[00:34:35]  Honestly, like, I know you kept all your fucking bread.
[00:34:38]  Yeah, I have all my bread.
[00:34:40]  Yeah.
[00:34:41]  Hey, yesterday, yesterday.
[00:34:43]  Wait, yesterday?
[00:34:44]  When are we going to Staten Island?
[00:34:45]  And that you're still friends with Kalila.
[00:34:46]  That's dope.
[00:34:47]  I love her.
[00:34:47]  Very close.
[00:34:48]  Yeah, very close.
[00:34:48]  We went to Staten Island the other day to go see what?
[00:34:50]  What?
[00:34:51]  What?
[00:34:51]  You don't like him?
[00:34:52]  Too close?
[00:34:53]  Is that what that was?
[00:34:56]  I know that you said it because I'd already brought it up once.
[00:35:00]  I was like, Andy, you're so close.
[00:35:02]  Very close.
[00:35:03]  Yo, that was a thing.
[00:35:05]  That was fast.
[00:35:06]  It was a jump in.
[00:35:07]  But it's true.
[00:35:08]  You're very, you're so you are.
[00:35:12]  It's true.
[00:35:17]  Oh, my God.
[00:35:18]  He did keep all his bread, and he's got a lot.
[00:35:20]  We called his business manager on the way to Staten Island.
[00:35:23]  Didn't we?
[00:35:25]  Didn't we call him on the way to Staten Island?
[00:35:26]  No, no, no, no.
[00:35:27]  Yeah, we did.
[00:35:28]  I mean, you're getting the HBO money.
[00:35:30]  That's no money.
[00:35:32]  Oh, yeah.
[00:35:32]  Talk that shit.
[00:35:35]  That money?
[00:35:37]  You know what I mean?
[00:35:38]  That was a setup.
[00:35:38]  That was an API.
[00:35:40]  Here's the deal with Reservation Dog.
[00:35:42]  This is what sex in the city.
[00:35:43]  I know, but here's an interesting point I want to make.
[00:35:46]  It's not even a joke, right?
[00:35:46]  But check it out.
[00:35:47]  You're on the Native American show?
[00:35:48]  Yes, I am.
[00:35:49]  As a native doctor, no, I play the Korean doctor.
[00:35:51]  I'm a Korean doctor.
[00:35:53]  You know how natives are.
[00:35:54]  You know, all natives have a Korean doctor on the side.
[00:35:56]  No, but when I was there, they said that growing up on reservations, most of the doctors are like Korean.
[00:36:01]  I think they'll pay back your medical school loans if you do that.
[00:36:04]  That's a real thing.
[00:36:05]  So, like, a lot of people will go to like the country or just places where other doctors aren't really flying.
[00:36:09]  You know how little I'm going to question you about anything in the medical world?
[00:36:13]  Like, any fucking, any brown guy gives me medical stuff.
[00:36:16]  I'm always like, that guy knows exactly what he's talking about.
[00:36:19]  And they also said they're a little indifferent.
[00:36:21]  That's why we hired you because you're just sort of this guy.
[00:36:23]  You know what I mean?
[00:36:24]  You have that vibe.
[00:36:24]  You don't care that much about that world.
[00:36:26]  But I want to just say something to a true point that I was going to make.
[00:36:28]  That's not, you know, in the comedy universe, right?
[00:36:30]  Yeah, yeah.
[00:36:31]  But when I first met you in Montreal, right?
[00:36:33]  I was like, oh, like to me, I met somebody that has like a new outlook on show business and how to do things.
[00:36:41]  And I learned so much from you, bro.
[00:36:43]  I really did.
[00:36:44]  Okay.
[00:36:44]  And I have to quit.
[00:36:46]  I have to quit.
[00:36:47]  You grabbed it, right?
[00:36:50]  I'm so used to him doing the funniest thing, given the opportunity.
[00:36:55]  I just put it out.
[00:36:57]  Yeah.
[00:36:59]  But I quit.
[00:37:00]  Purposely do that.
[00:37:01]  I know you do.
[00:37:01]  Yeah, Finish, you learned a lot from him, right?
[00:37:05]  No, but that's not what I'm going to say, man.
[00:37:06]  What I'm going to say, to my point, right?
[00:37:08]  What'd you call it?
[00:37:09]  What's he called?
[00:37:10]  Man, I just admit.
[00:37:11]  He's just so pointed, man.
[00:37:13]  No, because I'm trying to fucking get a real point out, man.
[00:37:15]  Can you get a real point?
[00:37:16]  Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[00:37:17]  I learned so much from you, dude.
[00:37:18]  But it's like, because I started way longer ago, right?
[00:37:22]  That I still have this weird fascination with old Hollywood.
[00:37:28]  Like acting and getting deals and all that stuff, right?
[00:37:32]  But that's okay, too.
[00:37:33]  I know, but it's just like, I don't know why I'm like that.
[00:37:34]  And I think you have a little bit of that too.
[00:37:36]  Yeah.
[00:37:37]  You guys also like acting and getting jobs.
[00:37:40]  You know what I mean?
[00:37:42]  You guys also happen to be really good at acting.
[00:37:45]  It's hard to say.
[00:37:46]  You say plural?
[00:37:47]  Guys or.
[00:37:50]  He always says I'm bad.
[00:37:51]  Okay.
[00:37:51]  I've never, I've never.
[00:37:52]  Yeah, you always say I'm bad and it hurts my feelings.
[00:37:54]  And you're lying for the joke of the show, but I've never seen that.
[00:37:57]  What did I say to you the other day?
[00:37:58]  Why did you do the joke?
[00:37:58]  Why'd you do the joke just now?
[00:37:59]  Because it's fun.
[00:38:00]  Oh, that's right.
[00:38:01]  What did I say about reservation dogs?
[00:38:03]  What did I really say?
[00:38:04]  You said I was good on that.
[00:38:05]  Very good, dude.
[00:38:05]  He's very good on the show.
[00:38:06]  That was the same very used a couple of minutes ago.
[00:38:08]  The same very used.
[00:38:09]  Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[00:38:10]  No, no, no, no.
[00:38:13]  Very good.
[00:38:14]  Now, listen.
[00:38:16]  Santiro is fucking incredible at acting.
[00:38:18]  So good.
[00:38:18]  No, no, no, no.
[00:38:20]  Do you think that he's better than you at acting?
[00:38:23]  Just being it.
[00:38:24]  Wow.
[00:38:25]  There's a competition there, too?
[00:38:27]  I know.
[00:38:27]  No, no, no, no.
[00:38:28]  Now, we're just saying objectively.
[00:38:31]  Because when it comes to improv, you guys are magic.
[00:38:34]  Like, I was sitting there on your guy's show fucking crying when I did Bad Friends the Last Time where you guys did the scene where the fucking girl gets pulled up.
[00:38:41]  The girl gets pulled over the bed.
[00:38:42]  I'm like, yeah, that was amazing.
[00:38:43]  Okay.
[00:38:44]  Now, but when you're talking about just acting, like, let's say you had to do a scene.
[00:38:49]  Let me ask you a question.
[00:38:49]  And it's you or Santino.
[00:38:51]  Do you think that Santino just has another gear, bro?
[00:38:53]  Like, let me ask you another question.
[00:38:55]  All right.
[00:38:56]  Yeah.
[00:38:57]  We're not talking about comedy.
[00:38:59]  We're not talking about stand-up.
[00:39:00]  I get what you're saying.
[00:39:00]  We're talking about just acting.
[00:39:02]  I get what you're fucking saying.
[00:39:03]  And you would know.
[00:39:04]  You guys went for similar roles in the past.
[00:39:05]  Yeah, we went for similar roles.
[00:39:07]  He got every one.
[00:39:08]  And we're actually asking because I haven't seen any of your shows.
[00:39:11]  So.
[00:39:12]  Whoa.
[00:39:12]  Again with a dagger, bro.
[00:39:15]  Dude.
[00:39:16]  That was exactly.
[00:39:17]  You can't see my dad.
[00:39:18]  Did I just denounce that?
[00:39:19]  Did you see what he just did to acting?
[00:39:20]  Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[00:39:21]  Did you see that?
[00:39:22]  I thought, you son of a fucking bitcher.
[00:39:24]  Hey, hey, hey, be nice.
[00:39:25]  But here's the thing.
[00:39:26]  May I ask you a question?
[00:39:27]  That's all I'm doing.
[00:39:28]  Can I ask you a question, right?
[00:39:29]  Yeah, yeah.
[00:39:30]  Do you think he has had more opportunities over the years?
[00:39:33]  You think because he's had more opportunities over the years?
[00:39:36]  And I'm going to be this is an honest question.
[00:39:39]  I think the answer to that is yes.
[00:39:41]  I think that you've been alive so much longer than like when you were acting in those movies that just had the writing on it instead of the words.
[00:39:51]  Like, you know, when you had crouching tiger.
[00:39:55]  Jesus.
[00:39:56]  This guy.
[00:39:58]  It's an older.
[00:39:59]  I'm going.
[00:40:00]  I'm going.
[00:40:02]  Yeah.
[00:40:03]  Okay.
[00:40:03]  All I'm saying is.
[00:40:04]  I've obviously had not had more opportunity.
[00:40:06]  That's bullshit.
[00:40:06]  Whoa.
[00:40:07]  Oh, that's so fucking crazy.
[00:40:09]  You got a mad TV like five years into the game.
[00:40:11]  You were literally on a fucking hit television show picked five years into the game.
[00:40:14]  Yes, that's true.
[00:40:15]  You barely were, you barely were in the world of comedy and action every single week.
[00:40:19]  You did Miss Swan or whatever?
[00:40:20]  That wasn't me.
[00:40:21]  Wait, what?
[00:40:21]  That was Alex Borstein.
[00:40:22]  Oh.
[00:40:24]  Uh-oh, hot dog.
[00:40:26]  That wasn't me.
[00:40:26]  That was me.
[00:40:27]  That was you.
[00:40:27]  That was me.
[00:40:28]  Oh, I thought that was me.
[00:40:29]  That was you.
[00:40:29]  Yeah, not as popular, but that was me.
[00:40:31]  Okay, but that was so much opportunity.
[00:40:33]  Yeah.
[00:40:34]  This poor guy barely has a single opportunity, crushes it every single time, climbs out of the fucking dirt.
[00:40:43]  Let me ask you a question then, dude.
[00:40:44]  And be completely honest.
[00:40:45]  Yeah, yeah.
[00:40:46]  How many auditions do you get a year?
[00:40:47]  Whoa.
[00:40:48]  I don't have to anymore.
[00:40:49]  I know.
[00:40:53]  Back when you did.
[00:40:54]  Back then.
[00:40:56]  No, no, I'm kidding.
[00:40:57]  Back when you did high story.
[00:40:58]  Of course, I still audition.
[00:40:59]  Back in the day, though, how many did you get a year?
[00:41:02]  Be completely honest.
[00:41:03]  Honestly, probably a couple.
[00:41:05]  I don't know, a couple, a few.
[00:41:06]  No, how many?
[00:41:07]  A year?
[00:41:08]  I can't really, I don't really know.
[00:41:09]  30?
[00:41:10]  Here's the, let's, let's look at the.
[00:41:11]  Let me ask you a question.
[00:41:13]  Let's go through this and then we'll go through your.
[00:41:15]  Let me make a point about this.
[00:41:15]  Or we'll not do it.
[00:41:16]  Let me make it.
[00:41:19]  Or we'll just do it the way you are.
[00:41:21]  I'll make a point about this that you're missing.
[00:41:23]  The missing piece of this.
[00:41:24]  You're pretending as if I was this handsome picked dude.
[00:41:29]  The red-headed guy is never...
[00:41:32]  Tell me the fucking love story where they go.
[00:41:34]  Tell me the love story where they go, oh, the beautiful, her gorgeous red-headed husband walks in.
[00:41:40]  Never was I like the hot boyfriend who, no, dude.
[00:41:43]  I had to go out for shit that was like.
[00:41:45]  You would just get that role every time.
[00:41:52]  It's just me.
[00:41:55]  You would just know.
[00:41:56]  It's just me.
[00:41:56]  I know it's about to get burned.
[00:41:58]  It's just me.
[00:41:59]  Here's what it is.
[00:42:00]  I'll solve this.
[00:42:01]  Okay.
[00:42:01]  We are both good at our things.
[00:42:04]  Yeah.
[00:42:04]  Nobody is better at his thing than him.
[00:42:07]  What is his thing?
[00:42:09]  Holding the shit on the hand.
[00:42:16]  He's a Jordan of my shit.
[00:42:18]  That's his shit.
[00:42:19]  Oh, my God.
[00:42:19]  That's his shit.
[00:42:21]  They have another one than you.
[00:42:21]  Nobody's better at their thing than his thing than him.
[00:42:24]  That's what I just.
[00:42:25]  It's undisputed.
[00:42:26]  Yes.
[00:42:26]  There's only one Bobby Leaf.
[00:42:28]  Straight up.
[00:42:28]  That's what I mean.
[00:42:28]  And I could have to go head to head with some, you know what I mean?
[00:42:33]  A bunch of frawn for a role.
[00:42:34]  No chance.
[00:42:35]  I think the only time that I would have like, you know who I was jealous?
[00:42:39]  You know who I feel like I could be the who'd you beat out?
[00:42:42]  I want to know who you beat out on somebody.
[00:42:44]  I don't know.
[00:42:45]  I don't know, but I do know.
[00:42:46]  No, but I can tell you, I can tell you that Miles Teller kid, I like him so much.
[00:42:50]  You so good.
[00:42:51]  And I'm jealous of his shit.
[00:42:52]  I could see him and I could see Santino and Top Guy.
[00:42:54]  He should have been in that fucking movie.
[00:42:55]  Did you see Santino on top guy?
[00:42:57]  I wanted to be in that fucking movie.
[00:42:58]  Could you be emotional, though, about your dad?
[00:42:59]  Huh?
[00:43:00]  Could you be emotional about, could you beat Goose?
[00:43:01]  What was his name?
[00:43:02]  Rooster?
[00:43:02]  Rooster.
[00:43:03]  Could you do that?
[00:43:03]  And you got to be all emotional about Goose.
[00:43:05]  There's no way.
[00:43:05]  And angry at Tom Cruise.
[00:43:07]  You can do all that.
[00:43:08]  Can you cry?
[00:43:08]  You could do drama?
[00:43:10]  Can you cry?
[00:43:10]  Hold up.
[00:43:11]  You can cry in the scene?
[00:43:12]  Yeah.
[00:43:12]  You can cry right now.
[00:43:13]  Yeah, this is Bobby's not set up for it at all.
[00:43:17]  I'll set up a scenario.
[00:43:18]  That's fine.
[00:43:18]  All right.
[00:43:19]  Okay, shit in your face.
[00:43:21]  Every scenario, right?
[00:43:22]  Yeah, okay.
[00:43:23]  All right.
[00:43:23]  So I'm like, let's a movie.
[00:43:25]  It's like Philadelphia.
[00:43:26]  Yeah.
[00:43:27]  But I'm, you know what I mean?
[00:43:28]  A little Nigerian kid.
[00:43:30]  This is a comedy.
[00:43:31]  Yeah.
[00:43:31]  No.
[00:43:32]  No?
[00:43:32]  No.
[00:43:32]  And I'm adopted.
[00:43:33]  I have Ebola instead of AIDS.
[00:43:35]  That's not, the stakes aren't high enough for this.
[00:43:38]  We need high stakes.
[00:43:38]  All right.
[00:43:39]  Ebola's not high?
[00:43:41]  No.
[00:43:42]  I think you survived the Ebola.
[00:43:44]  As long as you're in the city.
[00:43:44]  If you find your old Gurgans, you're deadly.
[00:43:46]  That's not true.

=== Hospital Ring Stakes (07:48) ===

[00:43:47]  Okay.
[00:43:47]  Give me the stakes then.
[00:43:49]  Okay.
[00:43:52]  This is just, we're throwing a hypothetical thing out.
[00:43:55]  Yeah.
[00:43:56]  Okay.
[00:43:59]  You're tasked with a mission to go behind enemy lines with your old partner's son.
[00:44:09]  What?
[00:44:10]  Your partner's son?
[00:44:11]  Yeah, you're old.
[00:44:13]  What?
[00:44:13]  He's Tom Bruce.
[00:44:14]  I think it's similar, but it's not exactly.
[00:44:16]  This is literally Top Gum Never.
[00:44:17]  Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[00:44:18]  Okay.
[00:44:18]  Yeah.
[00:44:19]  Different scenario.
[00:44:19]  You want to go a different scenario?
[00:44:21]  Yeah, yeah.
[00:44:21]  Let's go hospital.
[00:44:22]  Okay, you're a hotshot pilot in the 1980s.
[00:44:25]  Just keep on saying, Todd.
[00:44:27]  Is that just Top?
[00:44:29]  Was that the first time?
[00:44:31]  Great mind.
[00:44:31]  Yeah, yeah.
[00:44:32]  Okay.
[00:44:33]  Okay.
[00:44:34]  All right.
[00:44:35]  There's the same thing.
[00:44:36]  I'm a sports agent and I quit and I want to go solo.
[00:44:40]  Okay.
[00:44:40]  All right.
[00:44:40]  But I want to be.
[00:44:41]  I've never heard that.
[00:44:42]  I want to be in the scene.
[00:44:43]  Huh?
[00:44:43]  You have to cry because I'm dying.
[00:44:45]  Can we do that?
[00:44:46]  No, what if I want to act too, though?
[00:44:48]  Well, what if I rep. What if I also rep like mahjong players or stuff?
[00:44:54]  I don't know.
[00:44:54]  I'm a mahjong.
[00:44:55]  Yeah, you're a mahjong.
[00:44:58]  Tom, Tom, you know what I mean?
[00:45:00]  The problem is, me and him in any movie we'd ever do, impossible to cry.
[00:45:04]  It'd be laughter the whole time.
[00:45:05]  Okay, okay, so I really want to get to a serious cry.
[00:45:08]  Okay, okay.
[00:45:08]  So you're going to come in at a later point in the scene.
[00:45:11]  All right.
[00:45:12]  Okay.
[00:45:12]  But is he going to cry because of me?
[00:45:14]  Yes.
[00:45:14]  Okay, good, thank you.
[00:45:15]  Okay.
[00:45:15]  Okay.
[00:45:16]  Here's a good one.
[00:45:16]  Here's a good one.
[00:45:17]  No, no, no.
[00:45:18]  It's so hard.
[00:45:20]  It's impossible.
[00:45:21]  You got this.
[00:45:21]  You can do it.
[00:45:22]  With you, no, no, you got that.
[00:45:23]  Listen.
[00:45:23]  Bobby, you can make it.
[00:45:25]  This is Korean War.
[00:45:27]  You were over there.
[00:45:29]  What a time.
[00:45:30]  What a time.
[00:45:31]  You found out you fell in love with a woman there who literally saved your life behind enemy lines.
[00:45:36]  A white woman.
[00:45:36]  No, an Asian woman.
[00:45:37]  Behind enemy lines.
[00:45:38]  No, can't do it.
[00:45:38]  There's no bias.
[00:45:42]  She's half Asian.
[00:45:43]  Oh, I buy it.
[00:45:43]  Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[00:45:44]  Yeah.
[00:45:45]  Okay, I got it.
[00:45:45]  She's like Piano Reese with tits.
[00:45:48]  Right?
[00:45:49]  Like, you know what I mean?
[00:45:50]  You don't know.
[00:45:50]  It could be fucking, you know what I mean?
[00:45:51]  Easy European.
[00:45:52]  By the way, Kiana.
[00:45:53]  Bjork.
[00:45:53]  Bjork.
[00:45:55]  Yeah, Bjork.
[00:45:55]  Not Asian at all.
[00:45:56]  But yeah, York, for sure.
[00:45:58]  Absolutely not Asian.
[00:45:59]  They're an old lot, isn't it?
[00:46:00]  Like, 10% Asian.
[00:46:02]  10% Korean.
[00:46:03]  Huh?
[00:46:03]  10%.
[00:46:03]  You think York is 10% Korean?
[00:46:05]  She's Asian.
[00:46:05]  She's something.
[00:46:06]  She says Iceland or whatever.
[00:46:07]  Can they finish this scene?
[00:46:08]  Yeah, she's Nordic.
[00:46:08]  She's Nordic.
[00:46:09]  Can they finish this?
[00:46:10]  It's mostly Asian.
[00:46:11]  Okay, how about this one?
[00:46:12]  Whoa, dude, relax.
[00:46:12]  Your sense?
[00:46:13]  Oh, God.
[00:46:15]  Fucking Harvey Weinstein.
[00:46:16]  He's the producer.
[00:46:17]  Let's act people.
[00:46:18]  Get a scene, man.
[00:46:19]  Budget.
[00:46:20]  Now get in the hotel room and take your clothes off.
[00:46:25]  What?
[00:46:26]  Yeah.
[00:46:27]  There's an asteroid hurtling towards Earth, and you and your friends, who are also oil drillers, mostly in the most difficult parts of the world, have to go up and you have to do it.
[00:46:37]  You have to split it in half with an atom bomb.
[00:46:42]  What?
[00:46:44]  It's either deep impact or Armageddon.
[00:46:46]  Make a choice.
[00:46:47]  The point is, maybe those are similar.
[00:46:49]  We're secret agents.
[00:46:50]  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
[00:46:51]  And we have the ability.
[00:46:52]  We're sent by the government.
[00:46:53]  There's aliens walking amongst us.
[00:46:54]  We have the ability to make people forget what they've seen.
[00:46:59]  Okay.
[00:47:01]  Somebody we're just listing our favorite movies.
[00:47:03]  Yeah.
[00:47:04]  Yeah.
[00:47:06]  Okay.
[00:47:07]  I will make up an actual movie.
[00:47:09]  Can you make up an original movie?
[00:47:10]  Original movie.
[00:47:11]  Right, right.
[00:47:12]  Never been done before.
[00:47:12]  Okay, I love it.
[00:47:13]  Here it is.
[00:47:14]  Here it is.
[00:47:14]  All right.
[00:47:14]  Are you ready?
[00:47:15]  I'm ready.
[00:47:16]  There's two girls, one cup.
[00:47:21]  Okay.
[00:47:23]  What's in the cup?
[00:47:25]  No, no, no.
[00:47:26]  Let's let's think of an accident.
[00:47:28]  Let's have Santino cry.
[00:47:29]  Come on, what?
[00:47:30]  It would be so hard.
[00:47:32]  Bobby's in a hospital.
[00:47:33]  Yeah, thank you.
[00:47:33]  He got in a car accident, okay?
[00:47:34]  Yeah, and I'm playing myself.
[00:47:36]  And he's playing himself.
[00:47:37]  That's good.
[00:47:37]  He has five minutes to live, okay?
[00:47:39]  No, no, no, no.
[00:47:40]  You have to.
[00:47:40]  You notice how quick he went to you in a car accident because of your joke earlier?
[00:47:45]  That was a good joke.
[00:47:45]  It was such a callback.
[00:47:46]  You just dumped it.
[00:47:47]  It was a callback.
[00:47:48]  In order for you to save.
[00:47:50]  Bobby's your child.
[00:47:50]  In order for you to save him.
[00:47:51]  As he was transforming into a car, he crashes.
[00:47:56]  Might as well trample more.
[00:48:01]  All right.
[00:48:02]  Okay.
[00:48:03]  What a funny scene in the movie, Transformers.
[00:48:04]  It comes back into a car and crashes immediately.
[00:48:07]  Everybody else moves away.
[00:48:09]  He gets a pull.
[00:48:12]  All right.
[00:48:12]  So I'm in the hospital.
[00:48:14]  Okay.
[00:48:14]  No, no.
[00:48:15]  That's your son.
[00:48:17]  Okay.
[00:48:18]  Needs a heart transplant.
[00:48:19]  There's no donor.
[00:48:24]  You take the hospital hostage and you realize there's only one heart that can go in your son's chest.
[00:48:32]  Who is it?
[00:48:33]  It's your own.
[00:48:34]  You're going to have to kill yourself to save your son.
[00:48:39]  He's getting there.
[00:48:40]  Very good.
[00:48:41]  All right.
[00:48:41]  You love that kid more than anything in the world.
[00:48:43]  He was dealt a bad deck probably from your wife's side.
[00:48:46]  You don't talk to her anymore.
[00:48:47]  So can we do the scene?
[00:48:48]  And start scene.
[00:48:53]  My son.
[00:48:55]  I love you so much.
[00:48:57]  And I got to tell you, the only heart that you can have is mine.
[00:49:03]  But I'm not going to give it to you.
[00:49:05]  What the fuck?
[00:49:06]  Because there's so many other Koreans I can buy.
[00:49:10]  What the fuck?
[00:49:12]  Goodbye, my son.
[00:49:15]  He has water in my eyes.
[00:49:20]  That's good, right?
[00:49:25]  There's water in my eyes.
[00:49:27]  He wrote a different ending and everything.
[00:49:28]  Yeah, dude, I respect you, bro.
[00:49:31]  Dude, you're my inner circle, dude.
[00:49:33]  What is it?
[00:49:34]  Am I in the ring?
[00:49:35]  Am I in a ring?
[00:49:36]  You're in a ring.
[00:49:36]  I'm not being in a ring.
[00:49:37]  Bro, that fucking impressed me, dude.
[00:49:39]  What is the movie of that movie?
[00:49:42]  You want Q?
[00:49:45]  Play a dog, play a dog.
[00:49:49]  Raise the roof.
[00:49:50]  Oh, man.
[00:49:52]  You're going to have to cut this.
[00:49:53]  Go, go.
[00:49:54]  Get him to the soap.
[00:49:56]  It's so.
[00:49:56]  You got to find that.
[00:49:57]  You'll buy it.
[00:50:01]  I can see it.
[00:50:03]  Yeah, go ahead.
[00:50:04]  Let him do the funny remake.
[00:50:06]  But five O's.
[00:50:09]  Why five?
[00:50:14]  Is it haunted?
[00:50:17]  There's a racist ghost.
[00:50:20]  That's the middle of the movie.
[00:50:21]  This happens.
[00:50:22]  The second half, I hunt him.
[00:50:24]  Oh, he hunts.
[00:50:26]  Because I let him die.
[00:50:27]  You let him die.
[00:50:28]  With your new kid.
[00:50:29]  He gets a new son, right?
[00:50:30]  But in the house, I'm.
[00:50:36]  And with, yeah, that dude, what do you think?
[00:50:39]  I mean, sold, dude.
[00:50:41]  Yeah.
[00:50:42]  Like, literally sold.
[00:50:43]  And sometimes I'll go pan-face.
[00:50:46]  I'll do some adjectives.
[00:50:47]  You know what I mean?
[00:50:48]  Can you imagine when the ghost hunters come to the house?
[00:50:50]  Can we see that?
[00:50:51]  And they're like, did you hear that?
[00:50:52]  Did you hear that on the thing?
[00:50:53]  And if they're replaying it, they're like, I don't know what he's saying.
[00:50:57]  I think we all heard what he said.
[00:51:00]  Oh, fuck.
[00:51:01]  By the way, we want to do a movie together, me and the bobe.
[00:51:04]  Bad, bad, bad.
[00:51:05]  Yeah.
[00:51:06]  And we're trying.
[00:51:06]  We just got, we want to.
[00:51:07]  I want you guys not.
[00:51:08]  I just want like a really, really like acclaimed writer to write us.
[00:51:12]  I think he's written a bunch of great scripts just now.
[00:51:14]  Yeah.
[00:51:15]  I mean, I was here, but I want like one of those fucking writers to actually like write us a thing that's so out of our normal realm.
[00:51:22]  But it's funny is if they wrote an actual serious drama and you guys seriously, it would be like, I'm trying to think.
[00:51:29]  I don't think this is Rocky Hard Picture Show, but like, what is that?
[00:51:32]  It almost comes across as like camp.
[00:51:33]  Like you guys are trying to act serious.

=== Thirty Second Song (03:58) ===

[00:51:36]  Yeah, yeah.
[00:51:37]  Everybody watching is a right champions recognition.
[00:51:39]  Hot American summer, I guess.
[00:51:41]  It's a musical.
[00:51:41]  It's like a musical.
[00:51:43]  You have to be in a dance.
[00:51:44]  Thank you.
[00:51:45]  Mark can sing.
[00:51:46]  You can.
[00:51:47]  Mark is a good novel.
[00:51:48]  I'll dabble.
[00:51:48]  I'll dabble.
[00:51:49]  Hold on, let him do it.
[00:51:51]  What do you want to hear?
[00:51:52]  He can only sing.
[00:51:53]  It's on the artist.
[00:51:54]  You pick what you can.
[00:51:55]  You saw me cry.
[00:51:56]  How about this?
[00:51:56]  I know what song.
[00:51:57]  Okay.
[00:51:58]  One of my favorite musicals is Annie.
[00:52:00]  And when she's in the windowsill.
[00:52:02]  What was when that came out?
[00:52:04]  What do you mean?
[00:52:05]  Oh, I waited in the line and everything.
[00:52:07]  I was 19.
[00:52:08]  I was 19.
[00:52:09]  Yeah.
[00:52:10]  So I had a job.
[00:52:11]  I had a job and a car and stuff.
[00:52:12]  So I went, you know what I mean?
[00:52:14]  There was no online, so I just waited in the line for two days.
[00:52:16]  Wait, just tell him the Annie songs.
[00:52:18]  I want to hear the Annie songs.
[00:52:19]  So she's sitting in the windowsill, right?
[00:52:20]  Yeah.
[00:52:22]  Maybe far away, or maybe real nearby.
[00:52:29]  That song.
[00:52:30]  You know that song?
[00:52:31]  Tomorrow, tomorrow.
[00:52:32]  Maybe do that one.
[00:52:33]  That's better.
[00:52:34]  Isn't that?
[00:52:35]  That's not the same one.
[00:52:36]  It's not the same song.
[00:52:36]  It's not the same song, but it's from the same show.
[00:52:39]  Maybe.
[00:52:39]  That's a good song.
[00:52:40]  Let him do it.
[00:52:40]  Let him do it.
[00:52:41]  All right.
[00:52:44]  The sun will come out tomorrow.
[00:52:48]  Bet your bottom dollar that tomorrow.
[00:52:53]  That's pretty good, yo.
[00:52:54]  There'll be sun.
[00:52:56]  Just thinking about tomorrow.
[00:53:06]  There'll be sun.
[00:53:09]  The day is gray and lonely.
[00:53:15]  So I just stick up my chin and grin and sing tomorrow.
[00:53:24]  Tomorrow, I love you.
[00:53:27]  Tomorrow, it was only a day away.
[00:53:35]  Tomorrow, I love tomorrow.
[00:53:40]  We did it.
[00:53:42]  See how 30 seconds ago, 30 seconds, it lost its fucking time.
[00:53:47]  Yeah, very good.
[00:53:49]  Give him a mistake.
[00:53:50]  Give him the respect.
[00:53:51]  Yeah, yeah.
[00:53:51]  It was really good, dude.
[00:53:52]  True commitment.
[00:53:53]  Very good.
[00:53:54]  Real commitment, dude.
[00:53:59]  Can you sing?
[00:54:01]  Can you sing it?
[00:54:02]  Are there like any like San Diego songs or anything?
[00:54:05]  I know some Korean songs.
[00:54:07]  Who would want that?
[00:54:09]  Sing that.
[00:54:10]  Sing it on any like Jason Baraz?
[00:54:11]  No, no, no.
[00:54:12]  Just Korean songs.
[00:54:13]  Let me hear a Korean song.
[00:54:14]  This is a real one.
[00:54:14]  I don't know what it means.
[00:54:16]  Okay.
[00:54:16]  And I don't know how to finish it.
[00:54:18]  Okay.
[00:54:18]  But it's.
[00:54:19]  Alex is going to laugh immediately.
[00:54:22]  My dad's singing it.
[00:54:44]  He would beat me with a fucking golf club.
[00:54:49]  You beat the shit out of the golf club.
[00:54:50]  Really?
[00:54:50]  Yeah, yeah.
[00:54:51]  Bruises all over my body was fucking terrible.
[00:54:52]  Wow.
[00:54:53]  That's the one that we all know.
[00:54:54]  Yeah.
[00:54:54]  San Tokitoki.
[00:54:56]  That's all.
[00:55:04]  That's the one we all know.
[00:55:05]  Love that one.
[00:55:06]  You know any Indy, whatever Punjab?
[00:55:08]  What do you...
[00:55:12]  Is that a song?
[00:55:15]  Is that a song?
[00:55:16]  I don't know what.
[00:55:17]  But I know all the people.
[00:55:18]  Don't let it go.
[00:55:21]  Do the ringy day.
[00:55:23]  Peace steak.
[00:55:23]  Do the same.
[00:55:24]  Do the ringy day.
[00:55:24]  I love it.
[00:55:25]  We all love the ringy day.
[00:55:27]  You were Danny.
[00:55:28]  You were the one that drove the car.
[00:55:29]  No, you were like the guy.
[00:55:30]  You remained in the cows.
[00:55:32]  That was his name.
[00:55:33]  Go ahead.
[00:55:33]  Sing me a song.

=== Molested Rules Fight (15:19) ===

[00:55:34]  Look at gosh, loading up like bullets into a cliff.
[00:55:40]  He's just like, like it's loading in his head.
[00:55:44]  So good.
[00:55:45]  You love a song?
[00:55:47]  No, we don't have a song.
[00:55:48]  You don't know an Indian song to say?
[00:55:51]  It's gotta be like a lullaby or something.
[00:55:53]  Yeah, I probably know.
[00:55:54]  Man, I don't really know that many.
[00:55:56]  I don't know the rap shit.
[00:55:57]  I can't rap.
[00:55:58]  I've been listening to it.
[00:55:59]  I think the old Indian shit from like Bolly, you know, any?
[00:56:03]  I'm not in.
[00:56:04]  Are you angry?
[00:56:04]  He's saying this is Bollywood.
[00:56:06]  Are you angry right now?
[00:56:08]  I'm wondering why you're so angry.
[00:56:09]  I'm not angry.
[00:56:10]  I'm fucking having a blast.
[00:56:11]  This is a fun time.
[00:56:11]  We're not having a fun time.
[00:56:13]  I think we're having a fun time.
[00:56:14]  We're having a blast.
[00:56:15]  Whenever you look at me, I see anger.
[00:56:16]  I don't understand.
[00:56:16]  I love you, dude.
[00:56:17]  I kiss you on the lips right now, but you wouldn't have to.
[00:56:18]  I'm not sure.
[00:56:19]  Because you're a little weird about that.
[00:56:21]  You are a little weird about that, though.
[00:56:22]  Kissing on the lips.
[00:56:23]  Yeah, yeah.
[00:56:23]  Yeah, yeah.
[00:56:24]  I'm on the cheek.
[00:56:25]  Yeah, I'd do that.
[00:56:26]  Okay.
[00:56:26]  Okay, no problem.
[00:56:27]  Steal it.
[00:56:28]  Go ahead.
[00:56:28]  Steal it.
[00:56:30]  There you go.
[00:56:30]  No problem.
[00:56:31]  Do both sides, you know?
[00:56:31]  Okay, that's fine.
[00:56:32]  Like, let's do a sneak.
[00:56:35]  Okay, right.
[00:56:36]  Bobby, good to see you.
[00:56:37]  No, I have to say that.
[00:56:39]  Okay.
[00:56:40]  Okay.
[00:56:41]  You're way too fast.
[00:56:43]  Because I know you're trying to kiss me on the lips.
[00:56:45]  No, I'm not.
[00:56:45]  I know you're trying to kill me.
[00:56:46]  Way too fast.
[00:56:47]  Because I know you're a sneaky motherfucker.
[00:56:48]  No, Oh, homophobic.
[00:56:53]  I see.
[00:56:54]  Homophobic.
[00:56:56]  Weird.
[00:56:58]  So when we see each other.
[00:56:59]  What do you mean by sneaky?
[00:57:01]  Yeah, yeah, it's like Gucci.
[00:57:03]  You know, he sent me his dick.
[00:57:04]  He sent me his dick.
[00:57:05]  I said, I love you, and then he just sent me a picture of his dick.
[00:57:08]  That's love.
[00:57:08]  That's love.
[00:57:09]  That's not love.
[00:57:09]  That's not love.
[00:57:12]  That's not cool.
[00:57:14]  And we logged on.
[00:57:15]  You guys are in Italy.
[00:57:16]  We guys are in Italy.
[00:57:17]  We just bumped into each other on the streets of the world.
[00:57:20]  Okay.
[00:57:21]  I'm walking down the street.
[00:57:22]  Oh, oh!
[00:57:25]  Oh!
[00:57:34]  I figured out a hornride.
[00:57:35]  I figured out a hornrot.
[00:57:36]  I figured out a hornride.
[00:57:38]  Very smart.
[00:57:39]  And Italy saw that you wouldn't think it was weird.
[00:57:42]  They're like, oh, that's a good idea.
[00:57:42]  No, no, no, that's not a little bit of a little bit weird.
[00:57:45]  That looked weird.
[00:57:49]  Sneak a kiss.
[00:57:50]  I didn't trust you.
[00:57:51]  Wasn't that your intention to sneak a kiss on the lips?
[00:57:53]  Yeah.
[00:57:54]  I know, dude.
[00:57:54]  I know.
[00:57:55]  I think that's how that whole thing started, kissing the music.
[00:57:57]  A guy was just trying to kiss another guy, and he turned, you just turned his guy.
[00:58:01]  He's like, that's how I went.
[00:58:04]  The dude goes in for a kiss.
[00:58:05]  He just turns it.
[00:58:09]  I guess you can't fuck that guy.
[00:58:11]  Did you kiss me on the lips?
[00:58:12]  I kissed you on the lips a thousand times.
[00:58:14]  A thousand times.
[00:58:15]  Like too many fucking times.
[00:58:15]  Have you guys kissed on the lips?
[00:58:16]  Never.
[00:58:17]  Yeah.
[00:58:17]  Yeah.
[00:58:18]  New York, bro.
[00:58:18]  It's New York, too.
[00:58:19]  You know what it is?
[00:58:20]  Yeah, seriously.
[00:58:20]  Because the way that we get looked at when we do it, fine.
[00:58:24]  It would change a lot of things for this whole show.
[00:58:26]  Oh, right.
[00:58:27]  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
[00:58:34]  The two would be back for sure.
[00:58:38]  100%.
[00:58:40]  Yeah, that's weird.
[00:58:41]  Yeah, you guys like kissing and shit.
[00:58:42]  No, we don't.
[00:58:44]  We do fucking laugh, bro.
[00:58:46]  Oh, yeah.
[00:58:46]  It's so funny.
[00:58:50]  Bobby will, to his most high credit, will do anything for us.
[00:58:54]  For the laugh.
[00:58:55]  Literally anything.
[00:58:57]  You're all the best, bro.
[00:58:58]  He is undefeated.
[00:58:59]  There are rules undefeated.
[00:59:01]  There are rules now.
[00:59:02]  What will you not do?
[00:59:03]  I don't think I can show my penis on stage anymore, no?
[00:59:06]  I can't show my butthole.
[00:59:07]  No, I haven't.
[00:59:08]  I haven't done it in years.
[00:59:09]  You know what he does now?
[00:59:10]  He does the, he'll like do the fake takeout.
[00:59:12]  Like, it never comes out anymore.
[00:59:14]  Yeah, I'll do a like show like half of my pews.
[00:59:17]  Right, and then I'll just pull it back up.
[00:59:19]  I dissected this on one of our episodes over why I think it's okay because, and this is not me being rude.
[00:59:24]  He has a regular, he jokes he has a small penis.
[00:59:26]  It's a regular penis.
[00:59:27]  No, it's not.
[00:59:28]  But it's fine.
[00:59:29]  That's high quality.
[00:59:30]  It's okay.
[00:59:31]  But I was impressed.
[00:59:33]  How about the audio is going to be smaller?
[00:59:36]  If it was big, it's threatening to the audience.
[00:59:39]  Yes.
[00:59:40]  Right.
[00:59:40]  Do you know what you're saying?
[00:59:40]  Like, if I had to see Kilo Neil's dick, it'd be weird.
[00:59:43]  Yeah.
[00:59:43]  Right.
[00:59:43]  So, so if a comic cut out their dick and they had like a nice, if you had a nice dick and you brought a dick, it would be threatening to the audience.
[00:59:48]  Yeah.
[00:59:49]  But his is playful.
[00:59:50]  It's fun.
[00:59:51]  It's like a.
[00:59:52]  The guys all feel like a boost of confidence for themselves.
[00:59:54]  And the girls think, look at how funny that is.
[00:59:55]  Yeah.
[00:59:56]  That's funny.
[00:59:56]  It's like a funny little thing.
[00:59:57]  It's like a minion.
[00:59:58]  Yes.
[00:59:59]  What about you?
[01:00:00]  Yeah, those things.
[01:00:01]  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
[01:00:01]  It's like people go, oh, it's Disney.
[01:00:03]  Yeah.
[01:00:04]  You do have Disney.
[01:00:05]  Disney did.
[01:00:06]  You got Disney did.
[01:00:06]  Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[01:00:07]  And so when I do it, I was beat up twice.
[01:00:12]  By whom?
[01:00:13]  By audience members when I showed him my penis, then they years ago, one guy picked me by my neck and slammed me on the ground, which is not a natural response.
[01:00:21]  Yeah.
[01:00:22]  And then the guy shoved me against a wall and they had a nail sticking out of the wall.
[01:00:25]  And I got, I don't know what you were like, how homophobic were those guys?
[01:00:28]  Yeah, that's too much.
[01:00:29]  And it bled all over my arm.
[01:00:31]  Oh, my God.
[01:00:31]  That's what I learned.
[01:00:32]  That guy was so mad.
[01:00:33]  He's like, you know how bad I want to suck a dick?
[01:00:35]  Don't show me that.
[01:00:36]  Yeah, they get aggressive.
[01:00:37]  You know what I mean?
[01:00:38]  So it's like, yeah.
[01:00:39]  But you don't do that anymore.
[01:00:40]  I don't do it anymore.
[01:00:40]  No, I do.
[01:00:41]  I follow the rules.
[01:00:42]  But that's a public rule.
[01:00:44]  I'm saying, what about when you're with the boys?
[01:00:46]  Are there any rules?
[01:00:47]  No, no, there's no rules.
[01:00:48]  Nothing at all.
[01:00:48]  He holds nothing.
[01:00:49]  He wouldn't suck your dick for a laugh.
[01:00:52]  What's the funniest way to suck it?
[01:00:54]  You're just your dick in his mouth is hilarious.
[01:00:57]  That's the funniest.
[01:00:58]  I would sincere.
[01:01:00]  If I was sincere, I was locking eyes with you and I was like, that would be hilarious.
[01:01:04]  Yeah, yeah.
[01:01:06]  Like, I do tongue work on the whole.
[01:01:08]  Tricks with your balls.
[01:01:09]  He'd love to do tricks with your balls.
[01:01:10]  Yeah, yeah.
[01:01:11]  And I do this.
[01:01:14]  Right?
[01:01:14]  Yeah.
[01:01:15]  Right?
[01:01:16]  And we locked it.
[01:01:16]  You would laugh.
[01:01:17]  If we locked eyes, I would laugh.
[01:01:19]  Al, I'm comfortable right now.
[01:01:20]  I'll have to show you.
[01:01:21]  Yeah, what's up?
[01:01:22]  That's never going to happen.
[01:01:23]  Yeah, yeah.
[01:01:23]  We're talking about hypothetical.
[01:01:25]  You want to kiss Al on the cheek, see how he likes it.
[01:01:26]  No, I know.
[01:01:28]  We just came back from Burning Man, bro.
[01:01:30]  Come on, yeah, dog.
[01:01:31]  Burning man, each other in Italy.
[01:01:33]  Come on, both into each other.
[01:01:34]  One time.
[01:01:35]  When we first met, you tried to kiss me on the mouth.
[01:01:37]  He forgot when?
[01:01:38]  Yeah, when we first met in Montreal.
[01:01:40]  In Montreal?
[01:01:41]  Yeah.
[01:01:41]  Yeah, but you've grown since then.
[01:01:43]  No, I loved it.
[01:01:43]  I bad.
[01:01:44]  Two burning mics.
[01:01:44]  My bad.
[01:01:45]  No, it was cool.
[01:01:46]  But the reason why I do it with you is because even if you get violent, I think I can handle it.
[01:01:50]  Nah, that's probably true.
[01:01:51]  Whoa, in a fight, you think it's a good one.
[01:01:53]  You think you could beat up Akash?
[01:01:54]  I was a wrestler, dude.
[01:01:55]  No, no, no.
[01:01:55]  I'm not questioning.
[01:01:56]  Don't defend me.
[01:01:57]  I'm just asking.
[01:01:57]  Is that what you're saying?
[01:01:58]  You could beat him up?
[01:01:59]  He's not threatening to me.
[01:02:00]  He's saying he could fuck you up, bro.
[01:02:02]  I'm fine with it.
[01:02:03]  How much do you weigh?
[01:02:03]  Akash, what do you weigh?
[01:02:06]  190 now?
[01:02:07]  Who knows?
[01:02:10]  Wait, I'll tell you.
[01:02:12]  5'7.
[01:02:13]  5'7, how much?
[01:02:14]  315, 160.
[01:02:15]  Okay, and you're 5'1?
[01:02:17]  5'5'4.
[01:02:18]  5'3.
[01:02:19]  5'2.
[01:02:20]  If you're five, no, I'm 5'3.
[01:02:22]  5'2 without shoes.
[01:02:23]  Okay, 165.
[01:02:25]  No, you're 170.
[01:02:26]  170.
[01:02:26]  Yeah, 170.
[01:02:27]  That's a pretty fair fight.
[01:02:28]  Yeah, that's a fair fight.
[01:02:29]  It's a fair fight.
[01:02:30]  But the thing is, is that I was a wrestler in high school.
[01:02:33]  I would take you down and it'd be over.
[01:02:34]  You wouldn't be able to get out.
[01:02:35]  Oh, dude, we need to set this up.
[01:02:36]  I'm not doing that.
[01:02:37]  I'm not going to fight.
[01:02:37]  I love him.
[01:02:38]  No, no, it's for fun.
[01:02:39]  No, it's just charity.
[01:02:41]  Not tonight, though.
[01:02:42]  Not today.
[01:02:43]  No, no, we're doing it now.
[01:02:44]  Bring it in.
[01:02:47]  I would do a thing where we were singlets.
[01:02:49]  Yeah.
[01:02:49]  We got a real match.
[01:02:51]  I could never fight you, Bobby.
[01:02:52]  I was taught to respect my elders.
[01:02:55]  That's number four.
[01:03:00]  That's the only thing I can do.
[01:03:03]  We should set up a wrestling match.
[01:03:05]  Can you wrestle?
[01:03:05]  No, dude.
[01:03:06]  He was a fucking wrestler.
[01:03:08]  Yeah, I actually do think.
[01:03:09]  So what would be a fair fight then?
[01:03:10]  Because wrestling wouldn't be fair to him.
[01:03:11]  You were actually a really good wrestler in high school.
[01:03:13]  In high school, he was really, really good.
[01:03:14]  I mean, if you go on my Instagram, there's wrestling.
[01:03:16]  His brother was phenomenal, too.
[01:03:17]  He was a champion.
[01:03:18]  My brother was a champion.
[01:03:19]  Stevie was a really good Stevie wrestling or something.
[01:03:23]  He was fucking amazing.
[01:03:24]  He fucked up everybody.
[01:03:25]  It's crazy, dude.
[01:03:26]  So are you like a sneaky athlete?
[01:03:28]  What do you mean?
[01:03:28]  Yeah, I'm very athletic.
[01:03:30]  Yeah.
[01:03:30]  He is.
[01:03:30]  Yeah, yeah.
[01:03:31]  100%.
[01:03:31]  Yeah, yeah.
[01:03:33]  People think it's a joke.
[01:03:33]  It's 100%.
[01:03:35]  Yeah, I believe it.
[01:03:36]  It's wild.
[01:03:37]  But he knows how to harness the buddy.
[01:03:43]  He has the HRS.
[01:03:46]  Hidden retard strengths.
[01:03:48]  Did that get molested into you by the.
[01:03:51]  Oh, you caught it.
[01:03:52]  No, no.
[01:03:52]  I caught it by the guy that molested me.
[01:03:53]  Yeah, the guy that molested you.
[01:03:54]  He passed it on.
[01:03:56]  Honestly, I mean that sincerely.
[01:03:57]  I think so.
[01:03:58]  Because a lot of people don't know this story.
[01:03:59]  You told me this story once.
[01:04:02]  No, you told me this story once.
[01:04:04]  What are we talking about?
[01:04:05]  No, but you told me this story about how you were molested by a kid with Downson.
[01:04:09]  A man.
[01:04:10]  A man.
[01:04:11]  Mentally.
[01:04:12]  What?
[01:04:13]  Mentally, man?
[01:04:14]  What are you talking about?
[01:04:14]  Another way of doing that.
[01:04:15]  Yeah.
[01:04:16]  He was a man, I think in his 20s.
[01:04:18]  Yeah.
[01:04:18]  And he went thg.
[01:04:22]  Quick.
[01:04:23]  Wait, Quick.
[01:04:26]  You didn't get molested.
[01:04:27]  He asked if you want to suck his dick and you said yes.
[01:04:30]  Yup, he went.
[01:04:32]  He had to do this.
[01:04:32]  If you didn't do that, I'd be like, what's going on?
[01:04:34]  And right as he came, Bobby's like, and he got the strengths.
[01:04:38]  You got stronger.
[01:04:39]  That's your origin story.
[01:04:40]  That's my origin story.
[01:04:42]  Dude, dude, it's an origin story.
[01:04:47]  That's the movie.
[01:04:48]  I ain't not gonna hit it.
[01:04:49]  That is it.
[01:04:50]  That's the movie.
[01:04:51]  HRS.
[01:04:52]  Can you play Downs?
[01:04:53]  Can't play Times.
[01:04:54]  He's the guy.
[01:04:56]  Can you play Downs?
[01:04:59]  Come on, J-A.
[01:05:01]  Let's do the CNTO.
[01:05:03]  Let's see it.
[01:05:04]  Can you play Downs?
[01:05:08]  Let's do the C, dude.
[01:05:09]  Here's a line.
[01:05:12]  Drawn.
[01:05:15]  This is your Steven.
[01:05:16]  What the fuck is his name?
[01:05:18]  Gilbert.
[01:05:18]  Steven.
[01:05:19]  No.
[01:05:19]  From East Malcolm.
[01:05:20]  I am Sam.
[01:05:20]  I am Sam.
[01:05:21]  Oh, no.
[01:05:22]  You knew who the best character that was ever played by a non-Downs person that played mentally handicapped?
[01:05:29]  That was a long way to say retarded.
[01:05:32]  Oh, what's Eden Gilbert Grey?
[01:05:35]  Daniel Day.
[01:05:35]  What's Eating Gilbert Green?
[01:05:36]  My left foot.
[01:05:37]  What's Eating Gilbert Gray?
[01:05:38]  My left foot was so real.
[01:05:40]  Dude, it was so good.
[01:05:41]  It was insane.
[01:05:42]  It was insane.
[01:05:43]  It was so.
[01:05:43]  Dude, that movie.
[01:05:44]  Daniel Day Lewis pitched it with a skip.
[01:05:46]  Oh, that's true.
[01:05:47]  I want my son.
[01:05:48]  Dude, that movie was so good.
[01:05:50]  It was so fucking.
[01:05:51]  He was so good in that movie.
[01:05:52]  He was great.
[01:05:53]  He's been good in so many movies.
[01:05:55]  That's why nobody cares what he does.
[01:05:56]  Yeah.
[01:05:57]  Nobody gives a shit, dude.
[01:05:58]  But you know, they were dying on set.
[01:06:00]  Oh, 100%.
[01:06:02]  Oh, NVIDIA Billy?
[01:06:04]  Like, every time.
[01:06:06]  Hey, Gilbert, good to see you.
[01:06:07]  Hey, Gilbert.
[01:06:09]  You know, Johnny Devil's like, oh, you got to cut it out.
[01:06:11]  Cut it out.
[01:06:13]  You make me laugh, Leo.
[01:06:17]  Oh, fuck.
[01:06:19]  Yeah.
[01:06:20]  Honestly, no, that was.
[01:06:21]  He was unreal.
[01:06:24]  Unreal that's true.
[01:06:25]  Also, Basketball Diary is one of my favorite movies.
[01:06:27]  Have you guys all seen that?
[01:06:28]  That movie, Little Intense.
[01:06:29]  Can't Hoop.
[01:06:29]  A little intense.
[01:06:30]  Can't hoop.
[01:06:30]  But you know what?
[01:06:31]  Name a fucking sports movie where you saw the actors doing athletics well.
[01:06:37]  White Man Can't Jump.
[01:06:39]  Oh.
[01:06:39]  What do you mean?
[01:06:40]  What do you mean?
[01:06:41]  Wesley Kahoot.
[01:06:42]  Yeah, Wesley.
[01:06:42]  No, Wesley was athletic.
[01:06:44]  And what he can hoop.
[01:06:44]  Woody can hoop.
[01:06:45]  I don't know.
[01:06:47]  For an actor?
[01:06:49]  I can't see.
[01:06:50]  No, he shouldn't have did that, though.
[01:06:51]  You have to prove this point.
[01:06:52]  That's what I'm saying.
[01:06:54]  It just didn't.
[01:06:55]  Okay, Robert De Niro Raging Bull pulled off the boxing.
[01:07:01]  I mean, tips of the trade, it's just cuts.
[01:07:03]  That's a lot of cutting.
[01:07:04]  That's a lot of great shots and cuts.
[01:07:06]  And the way that you can, it's just, it's not.
[01:07:08]  Wow.
[01:07:08]  Oh, you know who does a great job?
[01:07:09]  Bill Smith.
[01:07:10]  Ali.
[01:07:11]  I thought it was okay.
[01:07:12]  It was okay.
[01:07:13]  You know who did a great job, though?
[01:07:14]  That kid that plays Mike on the new Tyson show.
[01:07:16]  Have you seen that?
[01:07:18]  Is he good?
[01:07:19]  It's actually like some of the boxing is well, Corey Agriculture.
[01:07:22]  What's the impression like?
[01:07:23]  I mean, is he the character?
[01:07:24]  Well, Tyson's suing them right now.
[01:07:26]  Yeah, Cardi doesn't look like him.
[01:07:27]  Oh, no, because that's how can you, how?
[01:07:28]  I mean, it's so hard to look like that guy.
[01:07:30]  Yeah.
[01:07:31]  He's suing Hulu or he's suing one of them for something about the show.
[01:07:36]  Like, imagine catching a lawsuit from him.
[01:07:39]  That's the like immediately.
[01:07:41]  If they're like, I'm suing you, like, whatever you want.
[01:07:42]  Yeah, best case scenario, you get sued by Tyson.
[01:07:44]  Yeah.
[01:07:44]  I was like, well, whatever you need.
[01:07:46]  I would stop the show now.
[01:07:48]  Turn it off.
[01:07:49]  You got it.
[01:07:49]  We quit.
[01:07:50]  Since you guys know about movie stuff, what is this movie that everybody keeps talking about where the fucking guy's spitting on the other guy, the Harry Style?
[01:07:59]  Olivia Wilde is something that's a lot of fun.
[01:08:01]  I'm not sure, darling.
[01:08:02]  Yeah, you haven't heard all the drama around this.
[01:08:04]  I have no idea what this is.
[01:08:06]  A movie where he spits on somebody?
[01:08:07]  No, like apparently he spit on Chris Pine when they were at the Venice, I guess, film festival or something.
[01:08:13]  Who spit on Chris Pine?
[01:08:14]  Harry Styles.
[01:08:16]  Why?
[01:08:16]  That's what we're talking about.
[01:08:17]  I thought you guys might know.
[01:08:18]  Harry Styles, he's in the movie too.
[01:08:21]  But with Chris Pine?
[01:08:22]  Yeah.
[01:08:23]  Bro, we're not more famous than you.
[01:08:26]  We're not in that group.
[01:08:27]  You guys know more about Hollywood than us.
[01:08:31]  Let's stop.
[01:08:31]  We know what happened.
[01:08:32]  Okay, I called Harry this morning.
[01:08:38]  I picked up his dress from the cleaners and I said, I'm on my way over.
[01:08:42]  I want to talk about this.
[01:08:46]  Oh, fuck.
[01:08:47]  No, I don't know.
[01:08:48]  I don't know what happened.
[01:08:48]  Did they get into the they have beef?
[01:08:50]  I don't know.
[01:08:50]  I find myself isn't Chris Pine jacked.
[01:08:53]  I think he's kind of couldn't he fuck up Harry Styles.
[01:08:55]  Am I crazy?
[01:08:56]  He came to a show at the, we used to do the Village Lantern where you'd get people off the street.
[01:09:00]  It was so cool.
[01:09:00]  He was in fucking Star Trek and then he just came off the street, watched the show, was a great audience member with his girl, came up to everybody.
[01:09:06]  He was like, yo, you got the funny thing really?
[01:09:08]  Yeah, he said the whole show was a great.
[01:09:10]  No idea.
[01:09:11]  He wasn't the show you were on.
[01:09:12]  Okay.
[01:09:12]  It was like a Sunday show.
[01:09:13]  I remember him.
[01:09:14]  He got, yeah, he got a pre-mouth.
[01:09:18]  So wait, he spit.
[01:09:19]  He spit on him?
[01:09:20]  He spit on him?
[01:09:21]  Harry, that's the room of that.
[01:09:22]  I spit on him.
[01:09:23]  When super famous people come to your shows, do you get nervous or weird or no?
[01:09:27]  Are you cool?
[01:09:28]  More nervous if my family's there.
[01:09:29]  Oh, right.
[01:09:30]  That's the fucking thing.
[01:09:30]  Friends or something like that.
[01:09:32]  Hands down.
[01:09:33]  Yeah.
[01:09:33]  Whenever somebody's like, do you love playing Chicago?
[01:09:35]  I'm like, I mean, yes, but also my family's there.
[01:09:38]  It's the most nerve-racked.
[01:09:38]  It's just a different world.
[01:09:40]  You're thinking about them.
[01:09:41]  And also, how many of them are like, hey, where's the thing after the thing?
[01:09:45]  Yeah.
[01:09:45]  I don't know.
[01:09:45]  I've got to focus on a show.
[01:09:47]  I'm not going to the thing after the thing.
[01:09:48]  Yeah, it's a nightmare.
[01:09:49]  Well, dude, you know what the great thing is?
[01:09:50]  Not like when I did Chicago Theater, you rent out the basement.
[01:09:53]  Yeah, that's nice.
[01:09:54]  Just go downstairs.
[01:09:55]  Then I can see everyone say hi.
[01:09:57]  It appeases them and then you're done.
[01:09:58]  You know what I mean?
[01:09:59]  Or the stress of like you, you put somebody on the list, and then it's like you're about to go up and they call their business.
[01:10:05]  You have six more people.
[01:10:06]  Yeah, yeah.
[01:10:06]  We're sold out, but can you get, you know what I mean?
[01:10:08]  You have to deal with other fucking stress.
[01:10:10]  I get why fighters don't like fighting at home.
[01:10:12]  Yeah.
[01:10:13]  You know what I mean?
[01:10:13]  Like, I get why they go to Vegas.
[01:10:15]  Obviously, there's more money with the gambling, but like fighting at home, it's just non-stop phone calls and shit.
[01:10:20]  And with fighting instead of stand-up, you really got to prepare for two months.
[01:10:24]  Yeah.
[01:10:24]  100%.
[01:10:25]  With stand-up, you've been preparing for a year as long as you've been on tour.
[01:10:28]  Also, we're not going to get CTE.
[01:10:30]  Yeah.
[01:10:30]  Yeah.
[01:10:30]  Our ego is on the line.
[01:10:31]  Their life is on the line.
[01:10:32]  Right.
[01:10:33]  That's very good.
[01:10:34]  Yeah.
[01:10:35]  That is very good.
[01:10:36]  That's like the fucking tagline for the film.
[01:10:38]  His ego is on the line.
[01:10:40]  His life is on the line.
[01:10:42]  Stand-up versus boxing.
[01:10:44]  No, but that fucking playing at home is tough, tough, tough.
[01:10:48]  I just don't.
[01:10:49]  It's one of my least favorite things.
[01:10:51]  Yeah.
[01:10:51]  Until it's over, and then you're like, oh, it was awesome.

=== Bonjour France Dallas (02:06) ===

[01:10:54]  I did it.
[01:10:54]  They got to see it.
[01:10:55]  But it's different for you because New York, you guys, New York, it's just, that's a different thing.
[01:10:59]  Home is Dallas for me, but yeah, I was curious because you're probably more used to family coming just because you're at the cellar and it's just friends and family can swing, drop in whenever.
[01:11:07]  Yeah.
[01:11:08]  If I go to Dallas, it's like that's the one time that year.
[01:11:11]  Yeah.
[01:11:11]  Yeah, that makes sense.
[01:11:12]  It's more like touching a little bit.
[01:11:13]  Yeah.
[01:11:15]  Guys, I know that you guys have another podcast that you have to do very soon.
[01:11:19]  Did you have fun on this one?
[01:11:20]  I mean, you got to do it.
[01:11:21]  We still have time.
[01:11:22]  We still have plenty of time.
[01:11:23]  Yes?
[01:11:23]  Yeah, we got to have.
[01:11:25]  We got some time.
[01:11:25]  What time is it right now?
[01:11:26]  3:30.
[01:11:27]  3:30.
[01:11:27]  I'd like to go.
[01:11:28]  Okay, so maybe we have another like 15 minutes or something.
[01:11:30]  I think we have some more fun.
[01:11:32]  Okay.
[01:11:32]  Well, you can do something like those games that you guys play or whatever.
[01:11:34]  Yeah, we have a game.
[01:11:36]  I don't know.
[01:11:36]  You're like, oh, look at this video.
[01:11:37]  Look what happened.
[01:11:38]  Let me ask you something for an event.
[01:11:40]  Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[01:11:40]  Let me ask you as a friend.
[01:11:42]  As a friend.
[01:11:43]  Has this been one of the best versions of this show?
[01:11:47]  You have had to come back.
[01:11:48]  Yes, yes.
[01:11:49]  I mean, you go.
[01:11:49]  Oh, I'm coming back.
[01:11:50]  You know how many times you've fucking done my podcast?
[01:11:52]  Hey, well, I've been asking you for fucking years, asshole.
[01:11:55]  You never come here.
[01:11:55]  He's aggressive when he says something.
[01:11:56]  Yeah, he says, oh, word.
[01:11:59]  I swear to God, dude.
[01:12:00]  Just give him a kiss on the face.
[01:12:01]  I swear to God, Degree.
[01:12:02]  I'm so sorry.
[01:12:05]  It's all good.
[01:12:06]  Hey, this is aggressive, too.
[01:12:08]  This is aggressive.
[01:12:08]  Oh, dude, you guys met each other in France.
[01:12:10]  It's oil.
[01:12:11]  Bonjour, no.
[01:12:12]  No, no, France.
[01:12:14]  I know.
[01:12:16]  I know.
[01:12:18]  This is aggressive too, Bobby.
[01:12:19]  Fuck you, man.
[01:12:20]  See what I mean?
[01:12:20]  Yeah.
[01:12:21]  Okay.
[01:12:24]  Sexual tension, this guy.
[01:12:25]  Any part of Europe.
[01:12:26]  He's bonjour, no.
[01:12:28]  Anywhere he goes.
[01:12:29]  Well, what do you say the Italians?
[01:12:31]  No, he asked his words France.
[01:12:33]  He put on fucking French music.
[01:12:34]  He put on an affair.
[01:12:35]  I thought that's bonjours of French.
[01:12:38]  Right.
[01:12:38]  Is it bonjour of France?
[01:12:39]  Oh, you're saying bonjour and then no.
[01:12:41]  Guys, guys, yes, he never.
[01:12:43]  No, like this guy said it's meaning of no.
[01:12:45]  And in Italy, what do you say?
[01:12:47]  You say, you say we we.
[01:12:49]  We we.
[01:12:50]  There it is.
[01:12:50]  Yeah, it's Italian.
[01:12:51]  I love it.
[01:12:52]  I love it all.
[01:12:53]  German.
[01:12:54]  Well, it's German.
[01:12:55]  You know what they say.
[01:12:55]  Love.
[01:12:56]  All right.
[01:12:59]  I don't know.
[01:12:59]  I don't know.

=== Positive Korea Meat (03:45) ===

[01:13:00]  You can't do those.
[01:13:01]  Oh, it's not my bad.
[01:13:02]  You guys got it.
[01:13:03]  I can say yes.
[01:13:04]  That's you guys.
[01:13:05]  Oh, that's right.
[01:13:06]  That's my stuff.
[01:13:06]  That's my girl.
[01:13:08]  That's right.
[01:13:08]  All right.
[01:13:09]  My bad.
[01:13:10]  Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[01:13:11]  I was curious, what happened to the guy that diddled you?
[01:13:14]  Whatever happened to him?
[01:13:15]  I don't know.
[01:13:16]  Because he was in Minnesota and we moved when I was 10.
[01:13:18]  He owns Amazon or something.
[01:13:21]  He created enough basis.
[01:13:25]  Yeah.
[01:13:25]  He has downs, 50%.
[01:13:27]  But no, I don't remember.
[01:13:30]  They give you a percentage.
[01:13:32]  I don't remember what happened.
[01:13:33]  I don't know.
[01:13:34]  Just check in with him.
[01:13:36]  It's beneath me.
[01:13:37]  If you're out there listening, I think you were beneath him, buddy.
[01:13:46]  Listen.
[01:13:47]  Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[01:13:47]  I think it's awesome that you were able to get something out of it.
[01:13:51]  What do you mean?
[01:13:52]  No, just like you turned it into a positive.
[01:13:55]  Positive.
[01:13:55]  Well, it's, you know, here's a serious note.
[01:13:57]  Yeah.
[01:13:58]  But my therapist always says that because you had so much trauma in your life, that you developed like this weird sense of humor as a defense mechanism.
[01:14:07]  And then you chose that one thing that you were able to do.
[01:14:10]  Guys, this has been flagrant.
[01:14:11]  Give it up.
[01:14:15]  Why do you think it's me?
[01:14:16]  You think it's me?
[01:14:18]  Yeah.
[01:14:18]  Thank you.
[01:14:19]  It's the funniest thing to do.
[01:14:22]  So that's, you know, that's your defense mechanism.
[01:14:24]  No, but I used that as a career and it's worked out.
[01:14:28]  I think if I didn't have that, or like if I lived in Korea and there wasn't like stand-up comedy and comedy in general.
[01:14:34]  Can we go to Korea?
[01:14:35]  I would love to, dude.
[01:14:36]  Can we do a trip?
[01:14:38]  I would actually love that.
[01:14:39]  Just to have fun?
[01:14:41]  I would love to go with you.
[01:14:42]  Can we all go?
[01:14:43]  I would love to.
[01:14:44]  You want to all go?
[01:14:44]  I would go.
[01:14:44]  I do.
[01:14:45]  I would actually do karaoke.
[01:14:46]  Yeah, we could do karaoke together.
[01:14:48]  I do not want to go.
[01:14:49]  I would love to go, dude.
[01:14:50]  That's my fucking real, dude.
[01:14:52]  I'm being real too.
[01:14:52]  I wouldn't go to Korea.
[01:14:53]  I just need to be very sure.
[01:14:55]  Santino, we need to my least favorite Asian place.
[01:14:58]  What's your favorite?
[01:15:00]  Japan.
[01:15:01]  Top best?
[01:15:02]  Top three.
[01:15:02]  Japan's the best.
[01:15:03]  No, Japan's number one.
[01:15:04]  Korea is now.
[01:15:05]  Korea, dude.
[01:15:06]  Korea's the number one.
[01:15:07]  They got heart.
[01:15:07]  They got emotion.
[01:15:08]  Let me think about it.
[01:15:08]  Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[01:15:10]  Yeah, no, it's Japan.
[01:15:11]  No, no, no.
[01:15:12]  Two weeks.
[01:15:13]  I'll go.
[01:15:13]  I'll go.
[01:15:13]  100%.
[01:15:14]  I love Korea.
[01:15:14]  I love Korean.
[01:15:16]  Of course, I would go.
[01:15:16]  I just need to be sure about the meat that we eat.
[01:15:19]  Oh, the dog, Gegogie?
[01:15:20]  Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[01:15:21]  Just eat vegetarian one.
[01:15:22]  You know what Gegogie is?
[01:15:23]  Gegogi is dog, dog meat.
[01:15:24]  Yeah.
[01:15:25]  Bull goge is cow.
[01:15:27]  Cow.
[01:15:27]  Big dog.
[01:15:28]  Go, go, go, big dog.
[01:15:31]  Big dog.
[01:15:31]  Yeah.
[01:15:32]  But we don't have to eat that.
[01:15:33]  I would never eat dog.
[01:15:34]  Okay.
[01:15:35]  You would never?
[01:15:36]  I have dogs.
[01:15:37]  Yeah.
[01:15:37]  They're in my freezer.
[01:15:38]  I'm going to eat them later.
[01:15:41]  Hey.
[01:15:45]  No, I would never eat.
[01:15:46]  I love my dogs so fucking much.
[01:15:48]  I would never eat them.
[01:15:48]  No, there's no way.
[01:15:49]  Survival.
[01:15:50]  I'd rather eat my cousins.
[01:15:51]  Survival.
[01:15:52]  If you need it, you would.
[01:15:53]  If my cousin Andy died, I'd be sad if I would eat him instead of my good dog Gobi.
[01:15:57]  You know what I mean?
[01:15:58]  Yeah.
[01:15:58]  Yeah.
[01:15:59]  What's so funny?
[01:15:59]  You named your dog after the dish?
[01:16:01]  It sounds like.
[01:16:04]  Yeah, you're right.
[01:16:05]  That's weird.
[01:16:06]  Yeah.
[01:16:07]  That's like me naming my dog Cheese.
[01:16:10]  And that's the one I tongue kiss all the time.
[01:16:12]  Really?
[01:16:12]  Yeah.
[01:16:13]  That's okay.
[01:16:14]  No, no, it's not.
[01:16:15]  Behavior with D does with his dogs is not okay.
[01:16:17]  You think it's inappropriate?
[01:16:18]  I believe you.
[01:16:18]  I do.
[01:16:19]  It's disgusting.
[01:16:20]  He has no idea what boundaries are, this guy.
[01:16:21]  No.
[01:16:22]  Like I kiss my dog on the top of the nose, like on the head.
[01:16:25]  Like, I'll give him a look at it.
[01:16:26]  Yeah.
[01:16:26]  He'll mouth fuck his dog.
[01:16:27]  Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[01:16:28]  You're going to give it a chance.
[01:16:29]  Can I ask you something?
[01:16:30]  Yeah, yeah.
[01:16:30]  Do you think that in your lifetime, you will be able to befriend an Indian or something like that?
[01:16:38]  I really do.
[01:16:39]  I really do.
[01:16:40]  Yeah, I didn't believe that.
[01:16:41]  No, no, no, no.
[01:16:41]  For some reason, ask me again.
[01:16:43]  Ask me again.
[01:16:44]  Ask you again.
[01:16:44]  Okay.

=== Tiger Belly Sex (09:49) ===

[01:16:45]  Do you think in your lifetime that you will be able to befriend an Indian?
[01:16:51]  Yes.
[01:16:52]  Yeah.
[01:16:53]  No.
[01:16:54]  And what do you think is getting in the way?
[01:16:57]  No, I have Indian friends.
[01:16:58]  That's what they say.
[01:17:00]  I do.
[01:17:00]  That's what they say.
[01:17:01]  I have Indian friends.
[01:17:02]  Who would you name?
[01:17:02]  I can't see four Indian people.
[01:17:06]  Shanti.
[01:17:06]  My friend Shanti, she used to open for me.
[01:17:09]  Shanti?
[01:17:09]  Yeah.
[01:17:10]  The rapper?
[01:17:10]  No, she's from San Francisco.
[01:17:12]  Okay.
[01:17:12]  Very funny comic.
[01:17:13]  Okay.
[01:17:13]  That's one.
[01:17:14]  She's very Indian.
[01:17:14]  Name another one.
[01:17:16]  Name another one.
[01:17:17]  Izzy Zanzari.
[01:17:19]  That's two.
[01:17:19]  He returns your phone calls?
[01:17:22]  No.
[01:17:24]  Izin Zanzari.
[01:17:25]  What's the third one?
[01:17:26]  I could say Akasha.
[01:17:27]  Oh, no, no.
[01:17:27]  Danny from community.
[01:17:29]  Danny Pootie?
[01:17:30]  Yeah.
[01:17:31]  Love him.
[01:17:31]  Oh, good.
[01:17:32]  Danny Pooti, great guy.
[01:17:33]  Really?
[01:17:33]  Yeah, yeah.
[01:17:34]  Isn't he half Indian?
[01:17:36]  What?
[01:17:36]  He's half Indian.
[01:17:37]  Yeah, yeah.
[01:17:37]  Still, I love him.
[01:17:38]  That's why you love him.
[01:17:39]  That's all I know.
[01:17:39]  That's why you love him.
[01:17:40]  Literally all I know.
[01:17:41]  Which half do you like more?
[01:17:42]  Yeah, we know.
[01:17:43]  We know.
[01:17:44]  The half that thinks Andrew is nice to him.
[01:17:46]  You know what I mean?
[01:17:49]  How many Indians do you know?
[01:17:51]  None.
[01:17:51]  I don't.
[01:17:53]  I didn't claim to know any of these people.
[01:17:54]  Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[01:17:55]  Do you know a lot?
[01:17:56]  My neighbor.
[01:17:58]  He actually does the best Indian accent for a white guy.
[01:18:00]  My neighbors aren't whatever as a kid.
[01:18:02]  So yes, I do know that.
[01:18:02]  Wait, you can do it.
[01:18:03]  The only Indian is children.
[01:18:05]  They grew out of it.
[01:18:07]  You do.
[01:18:07]  If you're lucky, you do.
[01:18:09]  Wait, I want to hear the Indian.
[01:18:11]  He's Adolf Hitler's great.
[01:18:13]  Look at that.
[01:18:13]  Dude, he's Adolphian Hitler.
[01:18:14]  My Indian Adolf Hitler is really good.
[01:18:17]  Go, hit it.
[01:18:21]  Are the trains ready?
[01:18:22]  We've got to kill the Jews, man.
[01:18:29]  Dead on.
[01:18:30]  Dead on.
[01:18:33]  Did I get the sound guy?
[01:18:36]  No, you lit it up with the sound guy, dude.
[01:18:38]  So good.
[01:18:39]  Oh, my God.
[01:18:40]  You are a good actor, dude.
[01:18:41]  Oh, my God.
[01:18:42]  Thank you.
[01:18:43]  I do.
[01:18:44]  When I come here, I wish I lived here for a short period of time.
[01:18:46]  Come for like a few months.
[01:18:48]  I want to.
[01:18:49]  Set him a studio.
[01:18:50]  Do the things.
[01:18:51]  It's too hard, man.
[01:18:52]  We got a studio.
[01:18:53]  He loves LA.
[01:18:54]  He can't leave LA.
[01:18:54]  I can't leave L.A.
[01:18:55]  But don't you have to come here to shoot?
[01:18:56]  I thought you were going to do it.
[01:18:56]  I do.
[01:18:57]  I come in October for three weeks.
[01:18:58]  So then why don't you just come for three weeks?
[01:19:00]  Do you have like a little toy?
[01:19:02]  Smaller pockets, you do it like the offshoot that maybe we can do something?
[01:19:05]  No, but you know what?
[01:19:06]  You can stay in my place.
[01:19:07]  I got extra room.
[01:19:09]  Sex in the city, give me a hotel.
[01:19:12]  It's not called Saxon City.
[01:19:14]  It's just like that.
[01:19:15]  What is it called?
[01:19:16]  And just like that.
[01:19:17]  Wait, what?
[01:19:17]  And just like that?
[01:19:18]  That's the name they like.
[01:19:21]  I didn't title.
[01:19:22]  I don't work there.
[01:19:22]  What is that?
[01:19:23]  And just like that, there's no season two.
[01:19:26]  Wait, wait, wait.
[01:19:27]  That's what it's called.
[01:19:28]  Yeah, and just like that.
[01:19:29]  Wait, am I stupid?
[01:19:30]  That's called Sex in the City, right?
[01:19:31]  No, it's now called And Just Like That.
[01:19:33]  But the last time you did it, it was called Sex in the City.
[01:19:35]  No, last time it was called And Just Like That.
[01:19:37]  Oh.
[01:19:38]  But is it called Sex in the City hyphen and just like that?
[01:19:40]  Just like that.
[01:19:41]  Yeah.
[01:19:41]  Oh, so Sex in the City.
[01:19:43]  It's called Sex in the City.
[01:19:44]  And just like that.
[01:19:44]  Yeah, but when you tell people, I'm on Sex in the City, they go, no.
[01:19:48]  And I say, I'm just like that.
[01:19:49]  They go, yeah.
[01:19:50]  You tell people you're on Sex in the City?
[01:19:54]  You know what's funny?
[01:19:56]  I know you're a great actor.
[01:19:57]  I'm kidding.
[01:19:59]  Because the role that you're playing is you run the podcast studio, right?
[01:20:03]  That's wild.
[01:20:03]  You have like a responsibility.
[01:20:06]  Right?
[01:20:07]  So what is it like acting?
[01:20:10]  Yeah.
[01:20:10]  Yeah.
[01:20:10]  So it's like, you know how to pretend to like be on time and like run things.
[01:20:16]  And then what happens when you're done acting?
[01:20:18]  Do you ever go like, I should apply that?
[01:20:20]  No.
[01:20:20]  I don't know.
[01:20:21]  Or try method acting.
[01:20:22]  Did you ever go method?
[01:20:23]  No.
[01:20:24]  Let me say, you fucking assholes.
[01:20:27]  Can I say something?
[01:20:27]  You fucking assholes.
[01:20:28]  Wait, can I say real quick?
[01:20:29]  No, no, fuck you, man.
[01:20:31]  I'm tired of this bullying shit.
[01:20:33]  You relate to Tiger Belly on my episode at your house.
[01:20:38]  Exactly.
[01:20:39]  You're not that important of a guest.
[01:20:41]  Oh, wow.
[01:20:42]  Prove Christians on time.
[01:20:43]  Wow.
[01:20:44]  Let me say something, you fucking bullies.
[01:20:46]  Wow.
[01:20:46]  Before we continue.
[01:20:47]  Hot guys, we love you.
[01:20:48]  And like, you're a builder.
[01:20:50]  I can't just make something brilliant out of nothing.
[01:20:53]  Oh, my God.
[01:20:55]  I want to say something right now.
[01:20:56]  Yeah.
[01:20:56]  I showed up here on time.
[01:20:58]  Yes.
[01:20:58]  Right?
[01:20:59]  And I was available.
[01:21:00]  Yes.
[01:21:00]  I was open.
[01:21:01]  Right?
[01:21:02]  Yes.
[01:21:02]  I picked you up from your hotel.
[01:21:03]  I know.
[01:21:04]  That's fine.
[01:21:04]  I got there, though.
[01:21:05]  Yeah, no, but I said be downstairs at this time.
[01:21:07]  Exactly.
[01:21:07]  If I wasn't there, then it would be like, that would be true.
[01:21:10]  You know what time this shoe was?
[01:21:11]  No, I did not.
[01:21:11]  Okay.
[01:21:13]  So if I wasn't.
[01:21:14]  What I'm saying is that I make it to everywhere I need to be.
[01:21:16]  Yes, he does.
[01:21:17]  I put out the episodes every week.
[01:21:19]  You can get the fuck.
[01:21:21]  No, other people do it.
[01:21:22]  Okay.
[01:21:22]  Yeah.
[01:21:22]  All right.
[01:21:23]  But you make it happen.
[01:21:24]  I make it happen.
[01:21:25]  Without me, there'd be no magic.
[01:21:26]  His responsibility lately has been incredible.
[01:21:30]  Really?
[01:21:31]  I'm changing my shit, dude.
[01:21:32]  You're being real.
[01:21:33]  I'm changing my fucking whole thing.
[01:21:34]  What do you think is the difference?
[01:21:36]  50?
[01:21:37]  It's an age thing.
[01:21:39]  You're 50 exactly.
[01:21:40]  When Sagitt and Louis Anderson died.
[01:21:43]  You thought you were third for sure.
[01:21:46]  You thought you belonged in that group?
[01:21:49]  Yo.
[01:21:50]  Go.
[01:21:51]  Who do you think you are, Bert Kreush?
[01:21:54]  All right, you got me back.
[01:21:57]  You got me back.
[01:21:57]  Does that feel better?
[01:22:01]  Right?
[01:22:01]  Did you think you were going to die when they died?
[01:22:03]  I literally thought, like, I, because I was smoking so many cigarettes and I couldn't breathe.
[01:22:07]  Remember, I couldn't breathe.
[01:22:07]  I was just like, I thought you're not smoking anymore.
[01:22:09]  I'm not inhaling this.
[01:22:10]  We're not inhaling.
[01:22:10]  Yeah, I'm not inhaling this.
[01:22:12]  What a fucking eyebrow.
[01:22:12]  But I was getting chunks of blood in my lungs.
[01:22:15]  Oh, shoot.
[01:22:15]  I was coughing a blood and it was because Kala's a nurse.
[01:22:18]  I would send it to her.
[01:22:18]  I'm like, I think I'm dying.
[01:22:19]  I can't breathe.
[01:22:20]  I literally convinced myself I was dying.
[01:22:23]  And then when I got out of that, I was just like, you know what?
[01:22:25]  This next chapter of my life is going to be free.
[01:22:28]  And I'm going to have joy and fun and responsibility and connection and all that shit.
[01:22:33]  It's nice that you finally get to have fun.
[01:22:35]  Are you 50 exactly?
[01:22:36]  51 in two weeks.
[01:22:38]  I know we had two weeks.
[01:22:40]  Two weeks.
[01:22:40]  Congratulations.
[01:22:41]  Joey looks like a city.
[01:22:42]  He looks at me like I'm his dad.
[01:22:43]  Yeah.
[01:22:44]  I love it.
[01:22:44]  I love it.
[01:22:45]  He'll say something.
[01:22:45]  Anyone?
[01:22:46]  He'll go, right?
[01:22:47]  That's right, buddy.
[01:22:47]  50.
[01:22:50]  Well, can we sing you happy birthday before we finish this podcast?
[01:22:54]  I'd love to.
[01:22:54]  Do we want to do it in Korean or something?
[01:22:57]  Yeah.
[01:22:57]  I don't know the translation.
[01:22:59]  We've done it on our show.
[01:23:00]  Okay, make it up.
[01:23:01]  No, no, no.
[01:23:01]  Oh, you haven't?
[01:23:02]  No, we really did it.
[01:23:02]  Remember?
[01:23:03]  Oh, yeah, yeah.
[01:23:03]  I remember.
[01:23:03]  Okay, so.
[01:23:04]  I sung it in Korean for you.
[01:23:06]  Hakisona kachida.
[01:23:08]  Remember that?
[01:23:08]  Yeah, I remember that.
[01:23:09]  We did it.
[01:23:11]  Wait, here.
[01:23:12]  Does it have the lyrics too?
[01:23:13]  Yep.
[01:23:13]  Oh, I love it.
[01:23:16]  Hey.
[01:23:16]  Anyway.
[01:23:17]  Mom?
[01:23:20]  Today we'll learn how to sing it.
[01:23:21]  Look at the birthday.
[01:23:24]  Oh, this is just how to say it.
[01:23:25]  Damn.
[01:23:28]  Well, this isn't what we want.
[01:23:32]  Just do that.
[01:23:47]  Guys, we've been here with Andrew Santino, Bobby Lee.
[01:23:50]  They have probably the funniest podcast I ever have been on.
[01:23:56]  The episode.
[01:23:57]  We're like the West Coast fagrant, whatever it is called.
[01:24:00]  What's it called?
[01:24:01]  You guys.
[01:24:02]  Vagrants.
[01:24:02]  I mean, like, I'll be honest.
[01:24:04]  I'm trying to compliment you.
[01:24:06]  You guys are so absolutely fucking hysterical in your podcast.
[01:24:09]  So I want everybody, go check it out.
[01:24:11]  Bad friends.
[01:24:12]  You already know what it is.
[01:24:13]  But if you are the few people who don't know what it is, please go watch it.
[01:24:16]  It is absolutely hilarious.
[01:24:17]  They're fucking hysterical.
[01:24:18]  When does this come out, by the way?
[01:24:19]  Next Tuesday.
[01:24:20]  Oh, it can't be.
[01:24:21]  Oh, yeah.
[01:24:22]  Come see me.
[01:24:22]  Oh, yeah.
[01:24:23]  My special in Denver.
[01:24:24]  Oh, that'd be sick.
[01:24:25]  Come see me.
[01:24:25]  Down the Barbado Theater on September 24th.
[01:24:28]  And then I'm doing Minneapolis and Madison, Wisconsin, 16, 17.
[01:24:34]  Andrew Santino.
[01:24:34]  AndrewSantino.com.
[01:24:35]  Go to Andrew Santino.com.
[01:24:36]  Come see all his dates.
[01:24:37]  Go check out the special.
[01:24:38]  Watch Bad Friends.
[01:24:39]  And also, we're going to say it.
[01:24:40]  We don't have it yet.
[01:24:41]  We don't have the numbers, but we're doing a Bad Friends tour next year.
[01:24:45]  Oh, I love this.
[01:24:47]  Theater tour.
[01:24:47]  Theater tour and the tour.
[01:24:48]  And you do stand-up or you do live podcasts.
[01:24:50]  Stand-up and then some pod at the end.
[01:24:52]  Stand-up and live shit at the end.
[01:24:54]  Interesting.
[01:24:55]  He's going to smoke the whole time.
[01:24:57]  I think you guys are one of the few pods that could do a live pod.
[01:25:01]  Thank you.
[01:25:02]  Effectively.
[01:25:03]  Because there's so many games that you guys play within it that are actually funny instead of just going up there and talking.
[01:25:12]  I think people think, oh, it's funny in the room.
[01:25:13]  So it's going to be funny when you do it in front of people.
[01:25:15]  You need punchlines and shit, but you guys create that within the games.
[01:25:18]  And that could be...
[01:25:19]  Yeah, that is awesome.
[01:25:21]  We don't play games, but fine.
[01:25:22]  I get what you're saying.
[01:25:24]  Whatever.
[01:25:24]  The improv.
[01:25:25]  The improv time.
[01:25:26]  I didn't want to call it improv.
[01:25:27]  Okay, my bad.
[01:25:28]  You know what?
[01:25:29]  Can I say something too?
[01:25:30]  Not really.
[01:25:32]  But you can go.
[01:25:33]  I honestly do.
[01:25:34]  I hope you guys cut this part so bad.
[01:25:36]  No, honestly.
[01:25:38]  I just want to say one last thing.
[01:25:40]  Bad Friends, make sure you check it out.
[01:25:42]  And the episodes come out every Monday.
[01:25:45]  Monday.
[01:25:45]  Monday.
[01:25:45]  Every Monday.
[01:25:46]  Every single Monday.
[01:25:46]  Make sure you check it out.
[01:25:47]  Check out their YouTube.
[01:25:48]  Check out everything.
[01:25:49]  Absolutely fucking hysterical podcast.
[01:25:51]  Literally one of my favorites.
[01:25:52]  Love you guys.
[01:25:53]  Thank you guys very much.
[01:25:54]  And also check out Whiskey Ginger.
[01:25:55]  Honestly, I think Santino is like one of the best interviewers out there.
[01:25:58]  Thank you.
[01:25:58]  So I think that you should check out his solo podcast.
[01:26:01]  Watch Tiger Belly.
[01:26:02]  And is Tiger Belly still.
[01:26:04]  I thought it's called Trash Tuesdays now.
[01:26:08]  Yes.
[01:26:10]  It's still a thing.
[01:26:11]  It's still a thing.
[01:26:12]  And check out Tiger Belly.
[01:26:13]  Obviously, amazing podcast as well.
[01:26:15]  Go check out these guys.
[01:26:16]  Okay, now say what you want to say.
[01:26:18]  Because I know I'm going to say it and you're going to cut me off and say something crazy.
[01:26:21]  So I'm not going to say it.
[01:26:22]  Okay.
[01:26:22]  Say it.
[01:26:24]  I want to say that I honestly like continue you guys' family, my East Coast family, and thank you so much for having me.
[01:26:30]  We love you, buddy.
[01:26:31]  We love you.
[01:26:32]  We love you.
[01:26:32]  Shut the fuck up.
[01:26:34]  Guys, peace.