Flagrant - Andrew Schulz & Akaash Singh - Andrew Schulz Special Made THIS Much Money
Aired: 2022-07-21
Duration: 01:28:11


=== The Rock's Comedy Comeback (08:44) ===

[00:00:03]  Holy shit, The Rock just rebusted.
[00:00:10]  My boy changed comedy twice.
[00:00:12]  Andrew Schultz is saving comedy.
[00:00:15]  Netflix is done.
[00:00:16]  They're not done.
[00:00:17]  Done.
[00:00:17]  What are you talking about?
[00:00:18]  They reach out to you, though, if we want you to cut a couple jokes out.
[00:00:21]  The fucking audience is the one that gives me the notes.
[00:00:23]  What's up, people?
[00:00:26]  That's the fun thing.
[00:00:27]  You got to do something crazy.
[00:00:28]  You got to come on our back.
[00:00:29]  That's why they call them wetbacks.
[00:00:30]  Now, guys, everybody.
[00:00:33]  Everybody.
[00:00:35]  We're just getting started, guys.
[00:00:37]  We're just getting started, okay?
[00:00:39]  Man, I had a clever ass way that I was going to say how much money the special made.
[00:00:44]  And I already did that show on Instagram.
[00:00:45]  I feel like a fucking fraud.
[00:00:47]  Come on.
[00:00:47]  I feel like a do you want me to do my best?
[00:00:49]  Why did you save the good stuff for us?
[00:00:50]  Why do you always give it to Instagram?
[00:00:52]  Because I was too excited.
[00:00:53]  Come on.
[00:00:54]  Okay, should I try to be a good actor?
[00:00:56]  Yeah, do it.
[00:00:57]  Let me see if I can pull it.
[00:00:58]  Hey, you're making money off comedy.
[00:01:00]  Now it's movies next.
[00:01:01]  That's facts.
[00:01:02]  Okay, ready?
[00:01:02]  Here it is.
[00:01:04]  What's up, guys?
[00:01:05]  You know, a lot of you've been reaching out.
[00:01:07]  Come on, Ton.
[00:01:08]  Let me get into characters.
[00:01:10]  All right, come on.
[00:01:11]  Let me be serious.
[00:01:13]  Hey, guys.
[00:01:15]  What?
[00:01:16]  You ain't even trying.
[00:01:17]  You threw that one.
[00:01:18]  I did.
[00:01:19]  Throw it out.
[00:01:19]  I'll get this one good.
[00:01:21]  I'll get this one good.
[00:01:22]  What is it?
[00:01:23]  Hey, guys.
[00:01:24]  Are you in super?
[00:01:25]  I like this one.
[00:01:28]  Let me get into it.
[00:01:28]  Let me do this, like, actually, ready?
[00:01:30]  Okay.
[00:01:33]  Hey, guys.
[00:01:34]  I like it.
[00:01:38]  I'm not.
[00:01:38]  I didn't even start it.
[00:01:39]  Yeah, gosh.
[00:01:40]  What's up, guys?
[00:01:42]  Listen, a lot of you guys have been reaching out to see how I did with the special.
[00:01:46]  You know, we just got the numbers back.
[00:01:48]  And a lot of you have been asking, you know, if I made my money back.
[00:01:52]  And I did not.
[00:01:55]  I made three times my money back.
[00:02:00]  I'm clapping for the statistic and the acting.
[00:02:03]  Is that good?
[00:02:04]  Yo, I liked it, bro.
[00:02:05]  I liked it, yo.
[00:02:06]  I thought that was pretty good.
[00:02:07]  That's good.
[00:02:08]  Anyway, listen, for everybody asking, I do appreciate you all reaching out.
[00:02:11]  And we did.
[00:02:11]  We made three times the fucking money we spent on it, which is crazy.
[00:02:15]  And it's still available for another, I guess, 10 days.
[00:02:18]  So if you guys haven't gotten it just yet, you missed it.
[00:02:20]  For 10 more days, available at dandrewschultz.com.
[00:02:23]  So go buy that shit and tell your friends.
[00:02:25]  And if you're not sure, just search Andrew Schultz on Twitter and watch the feedback.
[00:02:30]  It's fucking overwhelmingly positive.
[00:02:33]  Yeah, that was cool.
[00:02:34]  That was cool.
[00:02:35]  That was really cool.
[00:02:35]  And it was cool that we made, I know we've spoken about this before, but like it was cool that we made an event.
[00:02:41]  And everybody, we had literally hundreds of thousands of people watching it at the same time.
[00:02:46]  And that was fucking fire.
[00:02:47]  And it was great to see the reaction at the same time.
[00:02:49]  It literally felt like watching TV 10 years ago.
[00:02:52]  Like, remember when Breaking Bad was on and everybody's reacting to Breaking Bad?
[00:02:56]  Or even early days of Guy Code.
[00:02:57]  Yeah.
[00:02:57]  Where it's like you could see what people are reacting to.
[00:02:59]  Like they're reacting to the exact joke.
[00:03:01]  They're talking about it.
[00:03:02]  And it was just a fucking awesome moment.
[00:03:03]  And it's not like a special that just kind of gets lost on a streamer where you go, oh, eventually I'll get to that.
[00:03:08]  Oh, eventually I'll watch.
[00:03:09]  You know what I mean?
[00:03:10]  Like, I've been saying I'll eventually watch Gerard Carmichael's I'm Gay Again specials for fucking literally for a month.
[00:03:16]  I'm like, eventually I'm going to watch how he's gay again.
[00:03:19]  And I just hadn't done it.
[00:03:21]  No, because he's gay again.
[00:03:23]  You said I said this.
[00:03:25]  I know, I know.
[00:03:26]  Oh, come on.
[00:03:27]  Are we watching this again?
[00:03:28]  No, but it's, but slower.
[00:03:29]  For white people now.
[00:03:30]  Okay, okay.
[00:03:32]  White people, I'm gay.
[00:03:33]  I watched the first I'm gay for Black People on Breakfast Club, but I also will watch the white one.
[00:03:38]  Okay.
[00:03:38]  You left out his home movie special where he said he was bi to his sister or whatever.
[00:03:42]  Did he come out three times?
[00:03:43]  He came out three times.
[00:03:44]  He didn't even come out once.
[00:03:46]  Damn, bro.
[00:03:47]  Yeah.
[00:03:47]  You got to come out your special.
[00:03:49]  Can I try it again?
[00:03:50]  Yeah.
[00:03:50]  Guys, I know a lot of y'all have been reaching out to see if I suck dicks as well.
[00:03:55]  We are getting divorced.
[00:03:59]  Not for the money special.
[00:04:02]  Completely different reasons.
[00:04:04]  But no, I'm fucking so stoked and I'm so goddamn grateful.
[00:04:07]  And, you know, I was saying this on the post, but I really mean it.
[00:04:10]  Like, like, I don't have a publicist.
[00:04:12]  Like, what we do is we have a group of friends who have a unique set of skills.
[00:04:16]  No, I feel like fucking Liam Nissan, but like, but like, no, we have a group of friends and we have a fucking army of people that support what we do.
[00:04:23]  And it's awesome that I can go on all these podcasts and they can literally lend the platform.
[00:04:29]  And then they're famous fucking people like Rogan and Charlemagne and The Rock.
[00:04:34]  Mamola.
[00:04:35]  Yeah.
[00:04:35]  And shout out to all them that did that.
[00:04:37]  And yeah, which is awesome.
[00:04:39]  It's a fucking great feeling.
[00:04:40]  I was so proud of my brother, man.
[00:04:42]  I was so fucking proud of you.
[00:04:43]  And I've said this to you a couple of times, but I'm going to say it again.
[00:04:46]  I have seen this special four times at the taping.
[00:04:48]  I watched it twice to give you notes and I watched it a seventh time Sunday and it still got genuine laughs out of me.
[00:04:54]  And that, every time I laughed, I was like, wow, I have seen this seven times and I'm still fucking laughing.
[00:05:00]  And that's an accomplishment.
[00:05:01]  And to what you said about making a moment, a comedy watch party, I've never done and it was so fucking great.
[00:05:07]  Yes.
[00:05:07]  Like we have fight night watch parties, but I don't really give a fuck about fight night.
[00:05:11]  Yeah.
[00:05:11]  So cool.
[00:05:12]  I'll be there.
[00:05:13]  We'll hang out.
[00:05:13]  We'll have fun.
[00:05:14]  But comedy, a bunch of people who love stand-up, who are watching somebody they're a fan of, all just sharing that moment was so fucking cool.
[00:05:22]  And I truly believe you changed comedy twice.
[00:05:27]  And I'm going to say this, and everybody's going to think that I'm sucking your dick because you're my brother.
[00:05:30]  And that's only half true.
[00:05:31]  I'm also not wrong.
[00:05:34]  Sucking his dick because he's your brother?
[00:05:36]  Yeah, yeah.
[00:05:36]  I'm into that incest shit.
[00:05:37]  I'm the Ricky Martin of this podcast.
[00:05:41]  Live and love me the logo.
[00:05:43]  That's the call forward.
[00:05:45]  Nah, you were the first guy to ever put clips on YouTube.
[00:05:49]  Listen, in India, they were doing that, but in America, we had Hollywood and we're all playing this game.
[00:05:53]  You did it.
[00:05:54]  And then we all saw, oh, shit, this can get you everything you want instead of having to play the Hollywood game.
[00:05:59]  Let's just do this.
[00:06:00]  And now you cannot scroll Instagram for five minutes without seeing 25 stand-up clips.
[00:06:04]  That's you.
[00:06:05]  I hope what this did.
[00:06:06]  And Louis put out his specials on his own.
[00:06:08]  But I think what we thought was, I know I thought this.
[00:06:10]  Well, yeah, when you're doing fucking arenas, you can put out a special on your own.
[00:06:14]  When you have your own TV show, you can put out a special on your own.
[00:06:17]  You are proven theaters is huge and you're doing theaters and that's amazing and you will do arenas.
[00:06:21]  But I think we're looking at that like, oh, you don't have to be one of the most famous people on earth for it to put out your own specialty.
[00:06:28]  You just have to have a devoted group of people who really rock with you and they rock with the type of content you put out.
[00:06:32]  Yes.
[00:06:33]  Yeah.
[00:06:34]  That shit was.
[00:06:35]  And so I, yeah, I think I think you might have changed comedy twice, bro.
[00:06:38]  It's, and listen, I'm not going to lie.
[00:06:39]  This shit is a lot of fucking work.
[00:06:41]  You guys know it.
[00:06:42]  It ain't.
[00:06:43]  This is not like putting out a YouTube special.
[00:06:46]  Yes.
[00:06:46]  It's not.
[00:06:47]  It is a lot of fucking work.
[00:06:50]  And I get why there are companies that do this for a living.
[00:06:53]  Because this shit ain't fun.
[00:06:55]  Yeah.
[00:06:55]  Now, that being said, it is incredibly gratifying.
[00:06:58]  I hope you guys also feel that way when it becomes successful.
[00:07:01]  And now, and if there's any comics out there, like we've always done is you have any questions, we fucking got you.
[00:07:06]  Holler at us.
[00:07:07]  We'll tell you guys how to do it.
[00:07:08]  And I'll be like very candid if I think you can do this successfully because there probably is a number of people or followers that will dictate how much support you actually get.
[00:07:18]  But it was it was fucking cool.
[00:07:19]  And I'm super stoked and I'm grateful and I'm fucking, yeah, I feel really, sounds so gay, but I feel really like full.
[00:07:28]  Does that make sense?
[00:07:30]  Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[00:07:31]  In both ways you look at it.
[00:07:32]  It's a little gay.
[00:07:33]  Yeah.
[00:07:34]  Full though.
[00:07:35]  No, maybe you just ate a lot of dick.
[00:07:36]  Oh, yeah.
[00:07:38]  So that, that, that, that also.
[00:07:40]  Sound good, man.
[00:07:41]  Feel that.
[00:07:41]  You should enjoy this fucking moment.
[00:07:43]  Take your lap.
[00:07:43]  Yeah.
[00:07:44]  Yeah.
[00:07:44]  And keep buying it.
[00:07:46]  We still got time.
[00:07:47]  That's right.
[00:07:48]  Yeah.
[00:07:48]  And it's yours forever when you get it, by the way.
[00:07:50]  I just want to let you know.
[00:07:50]  Or hit me up.
[00:07:51]  I'll send you a link for 10 bucks.
[00:07:52]  You know what I mean?
[00:07:53]  Oh, I'm going to beat that.
[00:07:55]  I'm going to beat that.
[00:07:56]  Why?
[00:07:56]  Because shouts of motherfucking bet online is giving you a free $15 bet every single time.
[00:08:01]  Damn it.
[00:08:02]  If you buy the special, you get a free $15 bet at Bed Online.
[00:08:04]  That's the best deal on the motherfucking planet.
[00:08:06]  And get their money.
[00:08:07]  Take their fucking money.
[00:08:09]  I'm supposed to be partnered with them.
[00:08:10]  Take their ass.
[00:08:12]  Take their, put it on crazy parlay, drain their fucking bank accounts, send that bitch over here.
[00:08:17]  That's what I'm doing.
[00:08:19]  I'm doing the craziest parlay.
[00:08:20]  Okay, what are you doing?
[00:08:21]  I don't know.
[00:08:21]  I'm thinking like 25, 30 teams.
[00:08:23]  My goal is to figure out exactly how much you made and then place a bet that would make me more money.
[00:08:28]  So you have to.
[00:08:28]  And hope it works out because nothing would drive you crazier than if I made more money off your special than you did.
[00:08:33]  Oh, that would drive me fucking brazen.
[00:08:35]  That'd be awesome.
[00:08:36]  I'm going to match whatever bet you make.
[00:08:38]  You have to put your bet on like the craziest thing that there's no way it could fucking happen.
[00:08:42]  Like a woman on a train in India not getting raped.
[00:08:45]  Like, what are the odds on that?

=== Elon Musk Mars Madness (15:01) ===

[00:08:47]  I don't know why that's necessary.
[00:08:49]  I don't know why that's necessary.
[00:08:50]  What are the odds on that?
[00:08:51]  Okay.
[00:08:52]  Well, let's see, like, how many?
[00:08:53]  Rapists.
[00:08:55]  That's a tricky thing, dude.
[00:08:56]  There's double bet potential.
[00:08:58]  Rapes on a train.
[00:08:59]  Yeah, dude.
[00:09:00]  Samuel Jackson.
[00:09:01]  It's just Samuel Jackson in the next bottle of money.
[00:09:04]  If we're talking one, just one single race.
[00:09:07]  But if there's like a group of guys and one girl, odds are in my favor.
[00:09:10]  Indians have like 50 words for rape.
[00:09:11]  Do you know that?
[00:09:12]  Oh, you're making a call back to something that wasn't recorded.
[00:09:15]  Miles was teaching us about things that we try to forget immediately after.
[00:09:19]  And he was talking about how Eskimos know all.
[00:09:22]  This is how racist Miles is.
[00:09:24]  He's like, listen, Eskimos know 50 different types of whites.
[00:09:27]  You know, I'm trying to get to that.
[00:09:29]  I zoned out at shit.
[00:09:31]  So fancy I'm talking about wine.
[00:09:34]  Miles has a natural desire to know.
[00:09:38]  He's like, double go shrimp for white shit.
[00:09:42]  Miles is going through every type of white, bro.
[00:09:46]  That was amazing.
[00:09:47]  There's off white, mixed white, Arian White.
[00:09:51]  It's my favorite.
[00:09:52]  All of them.
[00:09:54]  But yeah, you were saying that they know all that.
[00:09:56]  Yeah, exactly.
[00:09:56]  Yeah.
[00:09:58]  Anyway, well, thank you guys so much for supporting.
[00:10:00]  And that, yeah, it's really awesome.
[00:10:02]  Also, another thing while we're talking about everybody here, the Fumbles McCreary, good old Fumbles McCreary had a literal Miles of the Million come to the watch party.
[00:10:13]  Do you remember the girl that came to the watch party?
[00:10:15]  Literally, Miles 1 million.
[00:10:17]  I couldn't understand it.
[00:10:19]  Can you tell us why you're not head over heels in love with this girl and you're lugging around fat chicks all over Brooklyn?
[00:10:28]  Fat chicks.
[00:10:29]  Yeah, you are, dude.
[00:10:31]  And we are talking and hanging out and having a lot of fun.
[00:10:33]  No, dude.
[00:10:34]  You've been lugging fats around Brooklyn, dude.
[00:10:39]  The guys tell me.
[00:10:40]  That's untrue.
[00:10:41]  No, they know.
[00:10:42]  Mark literally came to me.
[00:10:44]  He pulled me aside in my greenhouse.
[00:10:46]  This is true.
[00:10:47]  Green room.
[00:10:47]  And he said, no, my greenhouse.
[00:10:50]  Yes.
[00:10:50]  And he said, he said to me, he goes, listen, Miles is dating.
[00:10:55]  He's crushing it right now.
[00:10:57]  He's doing this thing where he's lugging around fat women.
[00:11:01]  I didn't say lugging.
[00:11:02]  Brooklyn, in Brooklyn.
[00:11:03]  Yeah.
[00:11:04]  What did he say?
[00:11:05]  Schlepping them?
[00:11:05]  Yeah.
[00:11:06]  Just dragging them.
[00:11:07]  He's schlepping them.
[00:11:09]  Yeah, yeah.
[00:11:09]  And he thought that you were like, he actually thought you were being rude to them.
[00:11:13]  He thought you were like, kind of like using them.
[00:11:15]  He goes, he likes walking them up the stairs and they breathe heavy.
[00:11:18]  Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[00:11:19]  Is it a fetish?
[00:11:19]  Maybe it's a fetish.
[00:11:21]  What is the issue with that?
[00:11:22]  Yeah, I don't know.
[00:11:24]  I don't think I drag fat chicks, but I do.
[00:11:27]  You can't drag them big bitches nowhere, can you?
[00:11:30]  Not with them little sausage fingers.
[00:11:33]  I think it's like a workout.
[00:11:34]  It's like a workout.
[00:11:35]  I'm trying to get big.
[00:11:35]  Mark eats a lot and lifts weight.
[00:11:37]  I just lift them.
[00:11:38]  I cut one thing out.
[00:11:39]  I have to go to the gym and he's like, that's a good point.
[00:11:42]  That's a good point.
[00:11:44]  He embraced it.
[00:11:44]  He's trying to lean into it.
[00:11:46]  But is this a real thing?
[00:11:47]  You have this beautiful girl.
[00:11:48]  I'm not going to say her name, but we all know who she is.
[00:11:51]  And I think that you should be serious.
[00:11:52]  She's got great teeth.
[00:11:54]  Good smile.
[00:11:55]  My teeth is huge.
[00:11:56]  Clearly loves you.
[00:11:57]  She's great.
[00:11:59]  I mean, loves you.
[00:12:00]  Yeah.
[00:12:01]  He was swatting away Vala left and right.
[00:12:05]  Talk about his game.
[00:12:05]  Talk about his game.
[00:12:06]  Full court press.
[00:12:08]  Yo, Val was doing full court, like, I'm naughty press.
[00:12:11]  Like, he was doing the full court.
[00:12:13]  I'm mischievous.
[00:12:14]  Like, I'm telling you, dude, the second of balls inbounded, and Vala's like, what's up?
[00:12:19]  Like, yo, Vala, love me and naughty, yo.
[00:12:22]  Dude, it's don't ask Vala a single innocent question.
[00:12:25]  Don't ask, what'd you have to eat today?
[00:12:31]  What do you mean?
[00:12:36]  Was it hot today?
[00:12:38]  I was a little sweaty.
[00:12:41]  What is the strategy with that?
[00:12:42]  I've never met a girl who's like, yo, I want to fuck a mischievous guy.
[00:12:45]  Vala gets girls, though.
[00:12:46]  That's the girl.
[00:12:48]  The guy gets girls.
[00:12:48]  You need to be more mischievous.
[00:12:50]  Yeah, you need more hijinks.
[00:12:52]  Have you tried that?
[00:12:54]  I think.
[00:12:54]  I'm not asking Shifty no more fucking questions.
[00:12:56]  I know, dude.
[00:12:56]  I know.
[00:12:57]  Five seconds.
[00:12:57]  Maybe that happens every time we ask him.
[00:13:00]  Well, I don't have a microphone.
[00:13:00]  What do you want me to do?
[00:13:01]  That's a good point.
[00:13:02]  You're worried about the production.
[00:13:03]  Anyway, Mark, can we talk about some things besides everybody here getting laid and just the three of us married people?
[00:13:09]  Not yo, it's so obvious we're in committed relationships and how much we're living through them.
[00:13:13]  I know.
[00:13:14]  Miles, fuck this girl.
[00:13:15]  Shifty, let us DM for you.
[00:13:20]  Yeah, but for real, though.
[00:13:22]  I had sex last night, though.
[00:13:23]  I ain't gonna lie.
[00:13:24]  Hey, Jesus, yo, boy.
[00:13:26]  Let's go.
[00:13:28]  That three-hand sex, boy.
[00:13:29]  Nah, I did that shit.
[00:13:30]  That shit was on your back, on your back, or whatever.
[00:13:32]  Partially.
[00:13:33]  And then?
[00:13:34]  Partially on my back.
[00:13:35]  And then what?
[00:13:36]  That's partially on her back.
[00:13:38]  Okay.
[00:13:39]  Yeah, yeah.
[00:13:40]  What else?
[00:13:40]  What else?
[00:13:41]  Maybe there was some side action involved.
[00:13:43]  You know what I mean?
[00:13:43]  I don't do that.
[00:13:45]  What else could there be?
[00:13:46]  I don't know.
[00:13:47]  What are y'all thinking, bro?
[00:13:49]  It's crazy.
[00:13:49]  Crazy.
[00:13:50]  Damn.
[00:13:51]  All right.
[00:13:51]  Well, you want to talk about sex, bro?
[00:13:53]  You want to talk about Elon Musk's body?
[00:13:55]  Oh, yo, the beluga.
[00:13:57]  Son, bro.
[00:13:58]  This is this is crazy.
[00:14:01]  No, but this is fire, though.
[00:14:02]  This is how you know he's working.
[00:14:04]  Like, this is how I want my scientists to look.
[00:14:06]  Yeah.
[00:14:07]  Oh, that's fair.
[00:14:07]  Yeah.
[00:14:08]  Like, if you're invested in Tesla and you see that, you're like, oh, we're going to Mars.
[00:14:12]  We guarantee going to Mars.
[00:14:14]  If you see him looking like Jeff Bezos, because Jeff Bezos is brolic as fuck, tan as fuck.
[00:14:18]  Jeff Bezos looks good.
[00:14:20]  But I know you're not working.
[00:14:21]  I know that Amazon is in someone else's hands.
[00:14:24]  And that's fine.
[00:14:25]  But with Tessa, we're invested in Elon.
[00:14:28]  Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[00:14:29]  And that motherfucker is were king.
[00:14:32]  Look at that thing right there.
[00:14:34]  Looks like the Ghostbusters logo.
[00:14:35]  That shit is crazy.
[00:14:36]  That shit fucking, dude.
[00:14:38]  Crazy.
[00:14:39]  He said he built like a deep breath.
[00:14:41]  I was like, bro.
[00:14:43]  You know how I want to say it was too niche?
[00:14:45]  He looks like Krang.
[00:14:46]  You remember Krang from the Ninja Turtles?
[00:14:47]  No, no, I don't remember.
[00:14:48]  That was fucking the cartoon.
[00:14:49]  That's what he looked like to me, but I knew nobody would get that.
[00:14:51]  No, I don't know.
[00:14:52]  He looked like he stung my wife in the Amalfi post.
[00:14:55]  That motherfucker is crazy, right?
[00:14:57]  Look how pale he is.
[00:14:58]  Oh, my God.
[00:14:59]  But this is what you want.
[00:15:00]  This is what you want from your like lunatic CEOs.
[00:15:03]  Yes.
[00:15:04]  You want them to be that dedicated in the office, not out there, not enjoying themselves.
[00:15:08]  I'm saying, though, fuck Mars, bro.
[00:15:09]  Go to Mercury.
[00:15:10]  Get a little tan.
[00:15:11]  Get a little bit.
[00:15:12]  Why is it hotter over there, Mercury?
[00:15:13]  Yes, right by the sun.
[00:15:14]  He needs that, yo.
[00:15:15]  Get a little skin cancer, for fuck's sake.
[00:15:16]  You need to be so smart to get that joke you just said.
[00:15:18]  Elon Musk is dying laughing right now.
[00:15:20]  He got that shit.
[00:15:21]  Everybody knows it's the first planet.
[00:15:23]  Everybody knows that.
[00:15:23]  My ass didn't know that.
[00:15:24]  I had no fucking time.
[00:15:25]  Did you learn the planets in school?
[00:15:27]  Yeah.
[00:15:27]  Do you know them?
[00:15:28]  Yep.
[00:15:29]  Hit it.
[00:15:29]  Other than Mercury.
[00:15:31]  That's a wash.
[00:15:31]  Mercury, Jupiter, Pluto, Uranus.
[00:15:35]  Yep.
[00:15:37]  Completely out of order.
[00:15:38]  This is wild.
[00:15:39]  The moon.
[00:15:40]  Okay.
[00:15:41]  Yeah, we'll count it.
[00:15:42]  We'll count it.
[00:15:43]  Earth.
[00:15:43]  Yep.
[00:15:43]  Don't have the moon.
[00:15:44]  The moon ain't no count.
[00:15:46]  Mars.
[00:15:46]  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
[00:15:48]  I said Saturn.
[00:15:49]  Nope.
[00:15:50]  Nope.
[00:15:50]  Saturn.
[00:15:51]  Look at you.
[00:15:52]  That's all the planets, right?
[00:15:53]  You left out Venus.
[00:15:54]  That's not a planet.
[00:15:55]  not anymore no that's you're thinking about pluto is not a planet son i know how y'all making me feel like i'm some dork this is very basic i don't know the planets you know the planets stop it i don't know stop playing dumb i don't know if i stop playing dumb to impress everybody that's how you win people over yeah exactly all right what are we talking about though because elon he's got his shirt off yeah do you guys care do you have a hot take for this i mean he just looks like a joint I support him.
[00:16:24]  I mean, he's honestly not that bad built.
[00:16:26]  Considering how hard this guy worked and like you said, how much he worth.
[00:16:29]  Yeah.
[00:16:30]  He don't look that bad.
[00:16:30]  Like Bezos on all the steroids.
[00:16:32]  This guy clearly not doing nothing for his health.
[00:16:34]  He still looks like that.
[00:16:35]  I think he got to be on something.
[00:16:36]  He might have even had a little, what's that called?
[00:16:39]  Lipo.
[00:16:40]  Oh, you think he did that?
[00:16:41]  Like a cool sculpt, maybe?
[00:16:42]  Yeah, maybe a little bit.
[00:16:43]  He does have the calves of a fat man.
[00:16:45]  He got some good ass calves on him.
[00:16:46]  Usually get those from carrying around a lot of weight.
[00:16:48]  Yeah, exactly.
[00:16:49]  So maybe he did get a little lipo, and that's why, you know, the calves are stacked and the stomach's not that big.
[00:16:55]  But son, built like a deep breath is perfect.
[00:16:57]  Yeah, bro, right?
[00:16:58]  That's a funny ass.
[00:16:59]  You know, you got to be famous as a dude for people to like comment on your body.
[00:17:05]  Like, that's a different level of fame.
[00:17:07]  That's true.
[00:17:07]  I almost feel kind of bad for him, too.
[00:17:09]  Like, you're out on your yacht and shit.
[00:17:12]  Oh, yeah.
[00:17:12]  What a poor, what a poor son of a bitch.
[00:17:15]  God is super yacht.
[00:17:16]  You go on Twitter.
[00:17:17]  The internet's ripping your body apart and you're like, no, no, no.
[00:17:20]  I don't feel bad because he was talking all that shit about Bill Gates.
[00:17:24]  My boy Billy.
[00:17:24]  Yeah, Billy Gates.
[00:17:26]  That's our fan.
[00:17:27]  This motherfucker right here is built just like Bill.
[00:17:31]  Yeah, he might be built worse.
[00:17:32]  Low-key for the age discrepancy?
[00:17:34]  He's built the opposite of Bill somehow.
[00:17:36]  What do you mean, higher up top?
[00:17:37]  That's true.
[00:17:39]  He got a little like Mr. Incredible.
[00:17:40]  If him and Bill.
[00:17:42]  The insurance salesman, though.
[00:17:43]  Not the superhero.
[00:17:44]  When he had the job, you mad and happy.
[00:17:46]  Yeah, yeah.
[00:17:47]  Even with the hair and everything.
[00:17:48]  But like, how much money does it cost to have people not take pictures of you on your yacht?
[00:17:52]  Oh, he wants these out there.
[00:17:53]  Right?
[00:17:54]  He's trying to get the story away from his dad who fucks his sister.
[00:17:57]  Yeah.
[00:17:58]  Yeah.
[00:17:58]  Like, wouldn't you rather people talking about 100%?
[00:18:02]  His publicist is like, all right, Elon, what do we need to do?
[00:18:04]  He's like, I am just fucking Superman just rips his shirt open.
[00:18:10]  I don't know, dude.
[00:18:11]  Yeah, I think, yeah, I think that they're just trying to create another storyline.
[00:18:14]  What is everything with?
[00:18:15]  Kill a story with another story.
[00:18:16]  Kill a story with another story.
[00:18:17]  That's a good point.
[00:18:18]  And this is killing the story.
[00:18:19]  We're not talking about.
[00:18:20]  It's shocking how little his father having two kids with his daughter has occupied the time, like the news time on this.
[00:18:29]  Like a week, tops?
[00:18:31]  If that.
[00:18:31]  It got three days.
[00:18:33]  I mean, this is crazy.
[00:18:34]  Yeah.
[00:18:34]  Like, he should be in prison, right?
[00:18:37]  Oh, 100%.
[00:18:38]  That's some criminal shit.
[00:18:39]  You adopted the girl.
[00:18:40]  Once you adopt a girl, you can't fuck it.
[00:18:43]  That's a perfect.
[00:18:44]  Yeah, Nate McIntosh does the exact thing on this.
[00:18:46]  It should be a law.
[00:18:46]  Say that.
[00:18:47]  Is it a law, though?
[00:18:48]  Wait, what does Nate say on Nathan?
[00:18:50]  He goes, you can't adopt something, then fuck it.
[00:18:51]  That's all he says.
[00:18:52]  I mean, he backs it up.
[00:18:53]  That's the whole premise is for Woody Allen.
[00:18:55]  You can't adopt something and then fuck it.
[00:18:57]  Well, here's the thing.
[00:18:57]  Woody never adopted her.
[00:19:00]  His wife adopted her.
[00:19:02]  Woody didn't.
[00:19:03]  There's always a loophole.
[00:19:04]  See?
[00:19:05]  Yeah.
[00:19:05]  These guys are good.
[00:19:06]  This guy fucking adopted her when she was four.
[00:19:09]  This is worse.
[00:19:11]  This is worse.
[00:19:11]  This picture?
[00:19:12]  Yeah, this is the worst.
[00:19:15]  It's bad, worse, worst.
[00:19:17]  This is worst.
[00:19:18]  Worse is what his dad did.
[00:19:20]  You think, though, maybe his dad being such a piece of shit is what makes Elon so great?
[00:19:25]  Talk to me.
[00:19:26]  Like a lot of times.
[00:19:26]  He always wanted to be fucked by his dad, but it was always his sister.
[00:19:30]  Maybe.
[00:19:31]  But I think if he got fucked by his dad, he might be even greater.
[00:19:34]  If he got fucked by his dad, he might be living on Mars.
[00:19:36]  Because having a shitty father often pushes men to greatness.
[00:19:40]  Jay-Z, dad was a drug addict, wasn't really around.
[00:19:42]  Jeff Bezos gave him up for adoption.
[00:19:45]  His parents.
[00:19:45]  Elon Musk, dad, a piece of shit.
[00:19:48]  You could go down.
[00:19:48]  LeBron James didn't really know his dad.
[00:19:51]  So many great.
[00:19:51]  This is another.
[00:19:52]  I'm touching on another Nathan McIntosh.
[00:19:53]  Something similar to this, but greatness comes from not having a dad very often or a shitty dad.
[00:19:58]  One of those two, you're like, yo, I have to be better in this episode.
[00:20:01]  You know, it's my first place, huh?
[00:20:03]  This is like male ego.
[00:20:05]  Okay, hit it.
[00:20:07]  There's a better way to look at that, which is just like when it's left to just a mom, kids become amazing.
[00:20:15]  We refuse to give a mother any credit for it.
[00:20:18]  Like, if a good, if a girl's a slut, why?
[00:20:21]  Not because your mom sucked that.
[00:20:23]  Dad didn't do his job.
[00:20:24]  Dad didn't come to volleyball practice.
[00:20:26]  If a guy's great, why?
[00:20:27]  Dad wasn't around.
[00:20:29]  That makes you fucking great.
[00:20:30]  It's like, if you're a deadbeat dad, no matter what happens with the kid, it's your fault.
[00:20:34]  Yeah.
[00:20:34]  And no credit to the mom whatsoever.
[00:20:36]  Yeah.
[00:20:37]  She's killing herself every day, doing everything, cooking.
[00:20:39]  I didn't think it enough.
[00:20:41]  Goes, my mom's the real MVP.
[00:20:42]  And it was so shocking, it became like a meme.
[00:20:46]  We're like, what the fuck?
[00:20:48]  Women can do shit.
[00:20:50]  No, no, no.
[00:20:51]  I think moms get enough credit.
[00:20:52]  You got the whole Mother's Day shit, bro.
[00:20:54]  Mother's Day.
[00:20:55]  I give my mom all the credit.
[00:20:56]  I'll give my dad.
[00:20:57]  You don't.
[00:20:57]  You're like, I'm ruined because she loves me too much.
[00:21:00]  My life is so hot.
[00:21:01]  I didn't say I was ruined.
[00:21:02]  I didn't say I was ruined.
[00:21:04]  My mom is great.
[00:21:04]  You know what I mean?
[00:21:05]  You don't blame your dad for nothing that's wrong with you, but you blame your mom, son.
[00:21:10]  I'll tell you something.
[00:21:11]  Talk to my therapist.
[00:21:12]  Dad gets plenty of blame.
[00:21:14]  I don't talk about it in a public setting.
[00:21:15]  It's too uncomfortable.
[00:21:16]  See, because it's okay to make fun of mom, bro.
[00:21:19]  Damn.
[00:21:20]  I've never made fun of my mom, not on this podcast.
[00:21:22]  Only compliments.
[00:21:23]  Only praise.
[00:21:23]  That's it.
[00:21:24]  Uh-huh.
[00:21:24]  Only praise.
[00:21:25]  She's a great woman.
[00:21:27]  A great woman.
[00:21:28]  Yes, she is, boy.
[00:21:29]  She is.
[00:21:31]  Speaking of incest, you want to talk about AOC getting arrested?
[00:21:34]  Oh, yeah.
[00:21:35]  I was going to talk about Ricky Martin.
[00:21:37]  No, Ricky Martin.
[00:21:38]  Nothing about it.
[00:21:39]  Buy that shit, bro.
[00:21:40]  AOC wasn't related to incest at all.
[00:21:42]  You don't know.
[00:21:43]  Maybe she was arrested for incest.
[00:21:44]  You can't highlight stories because Andrew's going to read those immediately.
[00:21:48]  Maybe AOC was arrested for incest.
[00:21:52]  Is that not possible?
[00:21:54]  Do we don't know what the crime was?
[00:21:56]  Is that not a possibility?
[00:21:58]  We do know what the crime was.
[00:21:59]  Is that not within the realm of possibility?
[00:22:01]  Yeah, the realm of possibility being wide as fuck.
[00:22:03]  Yeah.
[00:22:04]  Can I go back to the fucking Elon dad shit, bro?
[00:22:06]  Yeah, absolutely.
[00:22:07]  We can.
[00:22:07]  And I mean this sincerely.
[00:22:08]  Do you think the reason why it's not that big a story is because the most popular porn is stepdaughter porn?
[00:22:14]  Oh, yeah.
[00:22:14]  Like, it's so normalized in the porn that we watch.
[00:22:18]  He's just living the dream.
[00:22:20]  This guy's doing it.
[00:22:20]  Goat.
[00:22:22]  It could just be a strong stepdaughter stuck in a dryer.
[00:22:24]  And everybody'd be like, yeah, of course.
[00:22:25]  Yeah.
[00:22:25]  Like, that happens all the time.
[00:22:27]  You haven't seen that porn trend?
[00:22:28]  Like, oh, help me, stepbrow.
[00:22:29]  I'm stuck in the dryer.
[00:22:30]  That's like every porn.
[00:22:31]  You're like bent over and then.
[00:22:32]  Yeah, the stepmom or stepsister stuck in the dryer.
[00:22:35]  And then you just get it.
[00:22:35]  And then you're like, and they're like, help me get out.
[00:22:37]  And they're like, yeah, I will, but first.
[00:22:39]  Why are they making the stepdaughter do work?
[00:22:41]  Because you got to pay her way to live in the house.
[00:22:43]  Yeah, but she's not Cinderella.
[00:22:46]  You got to earn your key.
[00:22:47]  You're going to get a doctor and then she's just your slave?
[00:22:49]  Yeah, that's the best part about being like a biological kid is you get the stepkid and you're like, thank God.
[00:22:54]  Like someone else gets to take over chores.
[00:22:56]  You got to fucking, there's overtime.
[00:22:58]  Like you've been off the clock for all these years.
[00:23:00]  Like pick it up.
[00:23:01]  So you want the step.
[00:23:02]  You want that.
[00:23:03]  And a foster kid is like, I'd like a glass of milk on it from the table.
[00:23:08]  I want a glass of milk from the tap.
[00:23:11]  Yeah, exactly.
[00:23:11]  Yeah, yeah.
[00:23:12]  But yeah, that's like the, that's the trope.
[00:23:13]  They get stuck in the dryer and then they're like, yo, help me.
[00:23:16]  It's so funny.
[00:23:17]  I've never seen the stepdaughter.
[00:23:18]  You've never heard of this?
[00:23:19]  This is like a me.
[00:23:21]  Am I going crazy?
[00:23:22]  No, it is true.
[00:23:23]  I believe it's true.
[00:23:23]  There's just certain porn that I'm not into.
[00:23:25]  I don't know if we've spoken about this before, but like I do think that we're getting to 11.
[00:23:28]  You're not into non-consensual porn.
[00:23:30]  I'm not into that.
[00:23:31]  I don't know why you even bring that up.
[00:23:33]  She's stuck in the fucking dryer and you just have sex with her.
[00:23:35]  That don't sound consensual.
[00:23:37]  That is, no, she's saying help.
[00:23:38]  And then someone's like, you know what?
[00:23:41]  Is that what it'll help you?
[00:23:42]  It's crazy.
[00:23:43]  Is that what you need help with?
[00:23:44]  You want someone else stuck?
[00:23:46]  Yeah.
[00:23:46]  That's a weird way to help somebody.
[00:23:48]  Let me write a better porn.

=== Favorite Porn Star Talk (04:15) ===

[00:23:49]  Okay.
[00:23:49]  What's your porn?
[00:23:50]  Okay.
[00:23:51]  If you think writing porn is so easy.
[00:23:52]  Okay.
[00:23:53]  You're an Indian woman on a train.
[00:23:54]  Okay.
[00:23:55]  You're trying to get a reangler.
[00:23:57]  We're getting to consensual.
[00:23:57]  Remember, okay, what would be the best porn?
[00:24:02]  If you could write it, if I could write the best porn, yeah, written, directed by.
[00:24:06]  Written, directed by.
[00:24:07]  Okay.
[00:24:09]  Okay.
[00:24:10]  Dick Wolf.
[00:24:12]  Best porn.
[00:24:13]  That was good.
[00:24:13]  Dick Wolf was good.
[00:24:18]  Girl comes into an office.
[00:24:21]  Job interview.
[00:24:22]  Oh, this is original.
[00:24:23]  Job interview.
[00:24:24]  Okay.
[00:24:24]  Sits down on the couch.
[00:24:27]  Guy asks her if she's, you know, wants to make between $1,000 and $5,000 a day.
[00:24:34]  Guy, she goes, what do you mean?
[00:24:37]  What do you mean?
[00:24:38]  Why such the big range?
[00:24:39]  Yeah, that's, yeah, but, but also, she's not smart enough to know that it's probably going to be more towards the one.
[00:24:44]  He just two $5,000.
[00:24:47]  He's outsmarting him.
[00:24:48]  He can put a huge number.
[00:24:50]  He wants to make somewhere between $50,000 and $100,000 a day.
[00:24:53]  That's exactly what he could have done.
[00:24:54]  But then they might go, oh, that's unrealistic.
[00:24:56]  So he brought it back down.
[00:24:57]  He's workshoped.
[00:24:58]  $1,000 a day is also pretty good.
[00:25:00]  It's great.
[00:25:00]  Yeah, I guess.
[00:25:01]  $365,000 a year.
[00:25:02]  Yeah, but then you have to get fucked for it.
[00:25:04]  But anyway, you can get to that point.
[00:25:05]  But that's the thing you don't know.
[00:25:06]  He pulls out his dick.
[00:25:07]  It's short and veiny.
[00:25:10]  Short and veiny.
[00:25:12]  Yeah.
[00:25:13]  Yeah.
[00:25:13]  This is, this is, what's his name?
[00:25:14]  Rick's casting room couch.
[00:25:16]  What's that?
[00:25:18]  What do you mean?
[00:25:18]  Casting couch?
[00:25:19]  What are you talking about?
[00:25:20]  Never heard of that.
[00:25:20]  It's his favorite porn.
[00:25:21]  I know this.
[00:25:22]  Never heard of it.
[00:25:25]  I don't know Andrew's favorite porn, dog.
[00:25:27]  Don't you ever fucking question whether or not I know Andrew's favorite.
[00:25:31]  I was actually going to get him that for his birthday.
[00:25:32]  That?
[00:25:33]  A cameo from Sheehan.
[00:25:36]  That was the name.
[00:25:37]  That was the fucking name.
[00:25:38]  Hold on.
[00:25:39]  A cameo from who?
[00:25:40]  Sheehan, dude.
[00:25:41]  What is that?
[00:25:41]  That's a red-headed 50-year-old that sucks crazy dicks.
[00:25:44]  Oh, my goodness.
[00:25:46]  That's my girl.
[00:25:51]  My fucking girl.
[00:25:52]  I'm going to get you a cameo from her, dude.
[00:25:54]  Dude, that'd be so much better than the Lenny Kravitz version of whatever the fuck you were going to get me this year.
[00:25:59]  Well, she's a Lenny Kravitz version of Sheehan now, okay?
[00:26:02]  She's a, she got into a little pill addiction.
[00:26:04]  Wait, did she really?
[00:26:05]  Is she on cameo?
[00:26:07]  She will be.
[00:26:08]  She has a lot of time.
[00:26:08]  She's between $1,000 and $5,000 a day.
[00:26:10]  Do we know where she's gone?
[00:26:12]  I'm going to do the behind the music on.
[00:26:14]  Well, don't do it right now.
[00:26:15]  I'm going to find it.
[00:26:15]  But eventually we have to find out what's happened to this girl.
[00:26:18]  She had so much talent.
[00:26:19]  God, that would be.
[00:26:20]  She was filled with.
[00:26:21]  She's the Freddie Adoo of fucking porn.
[00:26:23]  She had so much upside.
[00:26:25]  She could have been anything.
[00:26:26]  Freddie Ado.
[00:26:27]  You know what Freddie Dew's the worst?
[00:26:28]  Because when she was 14, I mean, like.
[00:26:31]  She was actually 18.
[00:26:32]  Okay.
[00:26:33]  Come on.
[00:26:36]  Oh, man.
[00:26:36]  But anyway, yeah, that's what I'm going to get you for your birthday.
[00:26:38]  Okay.
[00:26:39]  So what happens at the end of the porn?
[00:26:40]  She wants a job interview.
[00:26:41]  God, he doesn't know any athletes except soccer, huh?
[00:26:43]  I was wondering, I was like, why'd he go, Freddie Ado?
[00:26:45]  Because he doesn't know a basketball player that flamed out or a football player that didn't make it.
[00:26:49]  Greg Odin.
[00:26:49]  Greg Odin is great.
[00:26:51]  Yeah.
[00:26:51]  You know what I mean?
[00:26:51]  Maybe the knees couldn't handle it.
[00:26:54]  That'd be good.
[00:26:54]  There we go.
[00:26:55]  There we go.
[00:26:56]  And he had a big old dick, if we remember correctly.
[00:26:58]  Greg Odin.
[00:26:59]  That's right.
[00:26:59]  That's right.
[00:27:00]  He had a fucking hog.
[00:27:01]  Yeah, he had a thing on him, bro.
[00:27:02]  My God.
[00:27:03]  He had a thing on him.
[00:27:04]  Look it up.
[00:27:05]  Did I get the job?
[00:27:07]  Well, before we give you the job, we have to make sure that you can do the job.
[00:27:11]  And we have to film that.
[00:27:13]  And you need to work with a male talent.
[00:27:14]  And currently, there's no male talent here, so I'm going to have to be the male talent.
[00:27:18]  What is the job of the way?
[00:27:19]  Well, you're going to have to start by sucking my dick.
[00:27:21]  Okay.
[00:27:21]  I don't want to do that.
[00:27:23]  I mean, like.
[00:27:24]  Oscar worthy.
[00:27:25]  What's the point?
[00:27:26]  I mean, just Rick is an award.
[00:27:28]  We need to get.
[00:27:28]  Rick is the only porn star that I want on this podcast.
[00:27:32]  I know that we just had two porn stars in the podcast recently.
[00:27:35]  Sorry, guys.
[00:27:36]  I didn't want you as much as I want Rick.
[00:27:39]  I mean, that's a great answer.
[00:27:40]  If someone goes, hey, who's your favorite porn star?
[00:27:41]  You go, Rick?
[00:27:42]  A guy?
[00:27:42]  Yo, you're kind of a loser if you got a famous, like a female porn star that's your favorite.
[00:27:47]  That's kind of weird.
[00:27:48]  Oh, yeah.
[00:27:48]  No, it makes sense, actually.
[00:27:49]  But you're, you, you should be.
[00:27:51]  You're a connoisseur if you like a guy.
[00:27:53]  Yeah.
[00:27:53]  Especially like his solo stuff, 100%.
[00:27:56]  Wait, what?
[00:27:57]  Anyway, so there's other topics.
[00:27:58]  You want to talk about Ricky Martin?
[00:27:59]  He has solo porn.
[00:28:01]  Yeah.
[00:28:02]  Him on a beach looking tight.
[00:28:03]  You haven't seen that?

=== Rick the Porn Star (03:48) ===

[00:28:04]  I'm stuck in the dryer.
[00:28:07]  Oh, no.
[00:28:08]  What's my hand doing?
[00:28:09]  Is a sock on his hand?
[00:28:10]  Oh, no.
[00:28:11]  Mr. Sock, don't blow up.
[00:28:13]  Okay.
[00:28:14]  Do you want to talk about Ricky Martin?
[00:28:15]  Sock is gagging.
[00:28:17]  But he's also doing the gagging.
[00:28:21]  Let me tell you something.
[00:28:22]  Nobody's gagging on Rick.
[00:28:25]  I know this for a fact.
[00:28:26]  Now tell me why AOC is convicted.
[00:28:28]  I think maybe that helps get more dick sucks or they're like, that's $1,000.
[00:28:31]  That's light work for this little dick, though.
[00:28:33]  100%.
[00:28:33]  What girl wouldn't do that?
[00:28:34]  Yeah.
[00:28:34]  Half a bot.
[00:28:35]  All right, guys, we're going to take a break for a second because I need to make sure y'all don't go bald, man.
[00:28:40]  And that is a possibility with a simple pill.
[00:28:44]  Okay.
[00:28:45]  Very simple.
[00:28:45]  I've been on it for over 10 years.
[00:28:47]  That's why your boy got the full head of hair.
[00:28:50]  Keeps has got your back.
[00:28:52]  And let me tell you, Keeps is cheap.
[00:28:53]  They got the generic versions of these drugs.
[00:28:56]  You can be getting these hair curating systems, these hair conserving systems, this genius life-saving medication for like $10 per month because Keeps got the generic versions of the two FDA approved medications to prevent hair loss.
[00:29:16]  So this is what you need to do.
[00:29:18]  You need to go to keeps.com.
[00:29:20]  That's K-E-E-P-S.com, okay?
[00:29:23]  Slash flagrant.
[00:29:24]  And when you do that, you're going to receive your first month of the treatment for free.
[00:29:28]  That's K-E-E-P-S.com slash flagrant to get your first month for free.
[00:29:32]  K-E-E-P-S.com slash flagrant.
[00:29:34]  I'm telling you, fellas.
[00:29:36]  And ladies, if you're listening, you got a man, you see that shit thinning.
[00:29:39]  Get on it now.
[00:29:40]  This is preventative, okay?
[00:29:42]  You stop it before it goes, and then you got that full head of hair for the rest of your life with Keeps.
[00:29:47]  Now let's get back to the show.
[00:29:48]  All right, guys, we're going to take a break for a second because we all want to save as much money as possible.
[00:29:52]  So you got to let Ernest help you save on your student loans, okay?
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[00:31:07]  AOC, I didn't read the full article, but she stopped sex trafficking.
[00:31:11]  And that's why she was arrested, allegedly, but never got put in handcuffs.
[00:31:15]  She stopped sex trafficking.
[00:31:17]  What happened?
[00:31:18]  Yo, she wanted to be walked away by them police.
[00:31:20]  So she's like looking into the camera.
[00:31:22]  She was smiling.
[00:31:23]  She was blocking traffic.
[00:31:24]  That's what it was.
[00:31:25]  But it was an anti-pro-abortion thing.
[00:31:30]  And like they were making a whole spectral of the protests and she was like blocking traffic along with like other lawmakers and then they moved her out.
[00:31:37]  But like she was arrested.
[00:31:39]  Such a drama queen.
[00:31:40]  Son, the level of privilege that it takes to get arrested for PR, it blows my fucking mind.
[00:31:46]  Amy Schumer, I saw do this and Emily Radikowski.
[00:31:49]  Oh, you know, Emily Radikowski just got divorced.
[00:31:51]  Yeah, I heard her man.

=== Amy Schumer Drama Queen (15:18) ===

[00:31:52]  Her man was cheating.
[00:31:53]  What a fucking retard this guy is.
[00:31:57]  I see her in my neighborhood all the time.
[00:31:59]  Okay, what do those two pieces of information have to do with each other?
[00:32:02]  Nothing.
[00:32:04]  As long as I'm not on one of my blue chew walks.
[00:32:11]  Do you think Wasabi gets uncomfortable seeing you walk around with your whole hard dick out?
[00:32:16]  Every single night, Wasabi's like, can mom walk me?
[00:32:18]  Because dad always rubs his dick on my mind.
[00:32:20]  It's not hard the whole time.
[00:32:21]  And usually once it takes 15, 20 minutes to get it.
[00:32:24]  Yeah, once it kicks in, your boy is ready to get back up in the elevator.
[00:32:27]  The hard part is if the door managers.
[00:32:28]  When the elevator slaps under the water.
[00:32:30]  No, the doorman wants to have like a standard conversation.
[00:32:32]  Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[00:32:32]  And your boy's bricky, flipping it up to the belly button.
[00:32:36]  You know what I mean?
[00:32:37]  Then that's an issue.
[00:32:38]  Then, you know?
[00:32:40]  Because you're not wearing a shirt and you're just, your tip is just hanging out.
[00:32:44]  No, but sometimes I'll have a button down, then a wife beat her on over.
[00:32:47]  Okay.
[00:32:47]  And then it's just Wilson.
[00:32:54]  Like, hey, what y'all doing over there?
[00:32:55]  Hey, what's up, bro?
[00:32:56]  Way there, Neighbor Rooney.
[00:32:59]  Literally.
[00:33:00]  Okay, so, but that's crazy.
[00:33:02]  Like, everybody could get cheated on, yo.
[00:33:04]  Yeah, it's crazy.
[00:33:06]  Everybody could get it.
[00:33:06]  Yeah.
[00:33:07]  Yo.
[00:33:07]  Hey, hey, as married men on this podcast, we got to let, you know what I mean?
[00:33:13]  We got to let our ladies know.
[00:33:15]  Anybody could get it.
[00:33:17]  So how lucky are you that you don't?
[00:33:20]  Exactly.
[00:33:20]  Yeah.
[00:33:21]  Especially third world.
[00:33:22]  Who was I talking about this?
[00:33:23]  I forget.
[00:33:24]  But like you.
[00:33:24]  Your wife is not from the third world.
[00:33:26]  No, I'm saying if you got to go on vacations to the third world and then you realize, not even third world, any other country except America.
[00:33:32]  And you realize how beautiful women are there.
[00:33:34]  Because no one ever told you this when you were a kid.
[00:33:36]  You're a kid, you travel around, but then you go as an adult and you're like, wow, there's beautiful women everywhere.
[00:33:39]  Wouldn't they love to be married to a nice American guy?
[00:33:42]  Get a little citizenship.
[00:33:43]  And they're going to get cheated on where they're from.
[00:33:45]  In America, we have to be faithful.
[00:33:46]  In other countries, that's not part of the culture.
[00:33:48]  It's not the expectation.
[00:33:49]  It's not.
[00:33:50]  So this is something that, like, you want to talk about the patriarchy and all this other shit.
[00:33:53]  Yeah.
[00:33:54]  We invented faithful.
[00:33:55]  That's a good point.
[00:33:56]  That's an American invention.
[00:33:57]  We invented jazz.
[00:33:59]  We invented comedy.
[00:34:01]  And we invented faithful.
[00:34:02]  Okay.
[00:34:03]  Faithful is a term used for religion in other parts of the world.
[00:34:07]  You're not faithful in other parts of the world.
[00:34:09]  In India, are you faithful?
[00:34:12]  Yeah.
[00:34:12]  Yeah.
[00:34:13]  I mean, you know, if you're not being a fucking animal on a train, if you're a married man, not on a train, you're faithful.
[00:34:21]  Why don't you not on a train?
[00:34:22]  You don't think that guys cheat in India?
[00:34:24]  No, they cheat, but they cheat like they cheat here.
[00:34:26]  We don't cheat here.
[00:34:27]  Oh, yeah, my bad.
[00:34:28]  Yeah, yeah, okay.
[00:34:29]  My bad.
[00:34:29]  My bad, right?
[00:34:30]  It's scrutinized.
[00:34:31]  It's like highly scrutinized to cheat.
[00:34:32]  Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[00:34:33]  But in France, you could cheat, right?
[00:34:36]  In Italy, you could cheat.
[00:34:36]  This you know, France, you could cheat.
[00:34:38]  Italy, you could cheat.
[00:34:39]  In Italy, you could cheat.
[00:34:39]  That's what the romance languages are.
[00:34:41]  It just means I could fuck everybody.
[00:34:42]  Spain cheat.
[00:34:44]  It's cultural.
[00:34:44]  You got to remake black men don't cheat.
[00:34:46]  You got to do a little Duval Samba remixing for Americans.
[00:34:48]  And what do you want?
[00:34:49]  What do we call ourselves?
[00:34:50]  Americans don't cheat.
[00:34:51]  That's us.
[00:34:52]  That's really us.
[00:34:53]  We're faithful.
[00:34:54]  Do you have your ring on?
[00:34:55]  I do.
[00:34:56]  You have to ask.
[00:34:57]  We all have our rings on today, right?
[00:34:59]  We do.
[00:34:59]  No, because we don't fucking...
[00:35:01]  Americans invented not cheating.
[00:35:03]  Yes.
[00:35:04]  We invented Valentine's Day.
[00:35:05]  They didn't have that.
[00:35:06]  Yeah, that was the biggest mistake.
[00:35:08]  They didn't have that.
[00:35:08]  But I'm saying, like, we have all these holidays for the appreciation of our women.
[00:35:13]  We have all these customs for the appreciation of our women.
[00:35:16]  We invented not beating women the fuck up.
[00:35:19]  That's true.
[00:35:20]  Right?
[00:35:21]  If you go to any other country, they were beating them the fuck up for years.
[00:35:27]  We're the most pro-women.
[00:35:28]  Who's they?
[00:35:29]  Americans or like...
[00:35:30]  America invented not beating women.
[00:35:33]  Everybody else.
[00:35:35]  Everybody else stays on that.
[00:35:38]  In Britain, didn't they have to make a law?
[00:35:41]  You can't beat your woman with rule of thumb.
[00:35:43]  With the thumb, the rule of thumb.
[00:35:44]  You can hit her with anything as long as it's not wider in your thumb.
[00:35:47]  That's it.
[00:35:50]  Look that up.
[00:35:51]  Look, that's why they made the cricket palettes very thin this way.
[00:35:54]  That way.
[00:35:55]  You just come at it.
[00:35:56]  What side did you hit her with?
[00:35:57]  Exactly.
[00:35:58]  That's why India loves cricket.
[00:35:59]  There we go.
[00:36:01]  It's a cultural thing that they unite on.
[00:36:03]  Yes.
[00:36:04]  What I'm saying is Americans are the best men.
[00:36:07]  We are the most faithful.
[00:36:09]  We're the most loving.
[00:36:10]  Valentine's Day.
[00:36:11]  Yes.
[00:36:11]  Women don't have birthdays in other countries.
[00:36:13]  Did you know that?
[00:36:14]  That's not true.
[00:36:15]  They literally.
[00:36:16]  How old do you think Doz mom is?
[00:36:18]  How old do you think those mom is?
[00:36:19]  They're not counting birthdays in our country.
[00:36:21]  I swear to God, my mom is.
[00:36:22]  You turn 13, you're a woman, and that's it.
[00:36:24]  I swear to God, my mom doesn't know her birthday.
[00:36:26]  Thank you.
[00:36:26]  I swear to God, my mom does not know her birthday.
[00:36:28]  These motherfuckers know all the math, and they can't even calculate birthday.
[00:36:31]  Think about that.
[00:36:33]  My grandfather remembers that.
[00:36:34]  Your dad's a creep.
[00:36:35]  He's like, yo, don't tell me that.
[00:36:38]  Yo, don't say a fucking word.
[00:36:40]  This story's this marriage.
[00:36:42]  This story is sad, but it made me laugh.
[00:36:44]  My grandfather had an Omega watch, and he knew the exact time and day and everything when he bought his watch.
[00:36:50]  And he told me the whole story.
[00:36:51]  And then I was like, yeah, but when is my mom's birthday?
[00:36:54]  And he was like, I don't know.
[00:36:55]  He asked me these questions for it.
[00:36:59]  He was so pissed at daughters.
[00:37:00]  He's not much we got for her.
[00:37:02]  He was so pissy at daughters, he forgot all their birthdays.
[00:37:05]  Just blocked it out.
[00:37:06]  Not saying, show me a culture that is better to women than American.
[00:37:10]  I think you make a valid point.
[00:37:11]  Do they still do dowries?
[00:37:12]  Say again?
[00:37:13]  Do they still do dowries?
[00:37:14]  My family does not.
[00:37:15]  But I know it's still done in like more rural parts, but my family is not.
[00:37:18]  I mean, that's insane.
[00:37:19]  Like having a haggle for your daughter.
[00:37:21]  No.
[00:37:22]  But you got to like come up with a price.
[00:37:23]  Be like, come on, she's worth more than fucking eight goats.
[00:37:26]  No, you got to pay.
[00:37:28]  Oh, yes.
[00:37:29]  You got to pay to get rid of the liability, which is the daughter.
[00:37:32]  We don't even look at women as a liability.
[00:37:34]  How do they come up with the number?
[00:37:35]  Say again?
[00:37:35]  How do they get a number?
[00:37:36]  Which any insurance company should start to do, right?
[00:37:38]  I mean, if we're like tallying what shit costs, you got a wife that's a massive liability.
[00:37:43]  So easy as Sri Lankan could do it.
[00:37:45]  Like, that's got to be the fucking slogan.
[00:37:48]  Yo, that was racist, yo.
[00:37:49]  How was that racist?
[00:37:50]  God damn, Mark.
[00:37:51]  I don't know where the line is.
[00:37:52]  No, he really just be crossing the fucking line.
[00:37:54]  What do you mean?
[00:37:55]  Can we say something seriously?
[00:37:56]  We go, how much is a woman worth?
[00:37:59]  Line up your sisters.
[00:38:01]  You know.
[00:38:02]  Yo.
[00:38:04]  Come on, Mark.
[00:38:06]  You know more or less.
[00:38:07]  You know which one is worth what.
[00:38:09]  Not the exact amount, but you know if this one is worth more than that one.
[00:38:12]  Okay.
[00:38:13]  Do you know what I'm saying?
[00:38:14]  So then you gotta, so then everything's precedent.
[00:38:16]  You can't make him answer this.
[00:38:18]  I'm not saying put a dollar amount.
[00:38:20]  Do you know what I'm saying?
[00:38:21]  I saw it.
[00:38:22]  Okay.
[00:38:24]  I'm just saying that we know how much a thing is worth.
[00:38:27]  We know it.
[00:38:27]  My mom, absolute fucking smoke show dime piece with the others in Scotland where all women are got talent.
[00:38:36]  Crazy talented.
[00:38:37]  You know what I mean?
[00:38:38]  National ballroom dance champion two times.
[00:38:40]  Miss Scotland, son, was Miss Scotland.
[00:38:46]  She was Miss Scotland.
[00:38:47]  You never told me that.
[00:38:48]  Yeah.
[00:38:48]  Is that true?
[00:38:49]  If you're any pretty woman in Scotland, you're Miss Scotland.
[00:38:52]  I think they was just calling her that.
[00:38:53]  They never seen a beautiful woman before.
[00:38:54]  So they just started labeling her that shit.
[00:38:57]  God damn it.
[00:38:58]  She like won this Miss Scotland pageant.
[00:39:00]  Then they found out she was only 17.
[00:39:01]  They're like, yeah, some crazy shit.
[00:39:04]  But my mom, hottest Scottish woman ever, duh.
[00:39:10]  Worth a lot in Scotland.
[00:39:14]  Worth most in Scotland when you think about it.
[00:39:16]  Yeah.
[00:39:17]  Could have been like a duchess or something.
[00:39:19]  Yeah.
[00:39:19]  Yeah.
[00:39:20]  100%.
[00:39:21]  Like conversion.
[00:39:21]  He could have been the Prince Andrew.
[00:39:23]  Literally.
[00:39:24]  Oh, yeah.
[00:39:25]  I mean, literally, you know that the Prince Andrew flag is the flag of Scotland.
[00:39:28]  If you knew that, that was fire, what you just did.
[00:39:30]  I didn't, but I'll take credit.
[00:39:31]  All I'm trying to say is women are most valued in America, more valued than any other place.
[00:39:37]  He's not wrong.
[00:39:38]  He's not wrong.
[00:39:41]  You know what?
[00:39:42]  One of my favorite bits that you stopped doing is you said on stage one time, you were just like riffing.
[00:39:46]  Like, yo, I know this is wrong.
[00:39:48]  This is years ago.
[00:39:49]  You know, like, sometimes my girl will be like, hey, can you take out the trash?
[00:39:52]  And I want to be like, bitch, you know how tired I am from not cheating on you?
[00:39:57]  Any fucking idea how exhausted I am from not cheating on you all day?
[00:40:03]  That was past relationships.
[00:40:04]  That shit was past relationships.
[00:40:06]  Past relationships.
[00:40:07]  It was so funny.
[00:40:08]  I remember that bit for years.
[00:40:09]  I'd still be exhausted than a motherfucker, though.
[00:40:13]  Yeah, we do trust our women the best here, dude.
[00:40:15]  No, that's not.
[00:40:15]  Like, look at how we praise them.
[00:40:16]  You know what I mean?
[00:40:17]  Like, when this guy saw his favorite congresswoman.
[00:40:19]  Well, look, look, this guy.
[00:40:20]  AOC, my favorite big booty Latina.
[00:40:22]  I love you, AOC.
[00:40:23]  You're my favorite.
[00:40:25]  She went to kill babies, but she's still beautiful.
[00:40:27]  You look very beautiful in that dress.
[00:40:29]  You look very sexy.
[00:40:30]  Look at that booty on AOC.
[00:40:32]  That's my favorite big booty Latina.
[00:40:36]  I love it.
[00:40:36]  My favorite AOC.
[00:40:37]  Nice to meet you, AOC.
[00:40:38]  Look how sexy she looks in that dress.
[00:40:40]  This guy sucks.
[00:40:41]  Ooh, I love it, AOC.
[00:40:43]  Hot, hot, hot, like a tamale.
[00:40:47]  I mean, the last line is kind of funny.
[00:40:49]  The last line is objectively funny.
[00:40:50]  Yeah, yeah.
[00:40:51]  But yeah, he's a fucking weirdo.
[00:40:53]  Yeah, dude.
[00:40:54]  Fuck that guy.
[00:40:54]  Yo, Megan Kelly was defending this dude like crazy.
[00:40:56]  This guy?
[00:40:57]  I did Megan's podcast.
[00:40:58]  I love Megan.
[00:40:58]  Shout out, Megan.
[00:40:59]  Megan's fucking hilarious and she got a hunk of a husband.
[00:41:02]  See if you can get up Megan Kelly's husband.
[00:41:03]  I'd talk to him like that 100%.
[00:41:07]  But yeah, she was just like, hey, he's just joking.
[00:41:09]  He's just having some fun.
[00:41:10]  Like, when did we become so sensitive?
[00:41:11]  And I was like, Megan.
[00:41:16]  He's crossing the line up here.
[00:41:18]  Yeah, when they're there, it feels a lot like harassment.
[00:41:20]  Yo, it's weird.
[00:41:21]  When they're there, it's different.
[00:41:22]  You're just heckling on the street.
[00:41:25]  Yeah.
[00:41:25]  It's weird.
[00:41:26]  It's like you're doing something.
[00:41:27]  You're making a girl feel uncomfortable and you're not doing it because you want to hit on her.
[00:41:31]  It would actually be less weird if you were go, go, go.
[00:41:34]  Yes.
[00:41:34]  It would be less weird if you were doing it sexually.
[00:41:36]  Hey, I want to be with you.
[00:41:38]  Like if your intention was to get her number, if you're like, oh my God, you my favorite big booly Latina.
[00:41:43]  God damn, you're so beautiful.
[00:41:44]  Hold on, hold on.
[00:41:44]  Let me talk to you.
[00:41:45]  Can I take you out for dinner, please?
[00:41:46]  I love you.
[00:41:46]  Fucking great point.
[00:41:47]  His intent was to make her feel uncomfortable.
[00:41:51]  Yeah.
[00:41:52]  And that shines through.
[00:41:53]  It's very obvious.
[00:41:54]  Yes.
[00:41:55]  And as an American who protects women and we treat women the best of any place in the entire world.
[00:41:59]  That's right, dude.
[00:42:00]  I have to reject this because that was un-American.
[00:42:03]  That was French.
[00:42:04]  That was un-American.
[00:42:04]  That's very first French about it.
[00:42:06]  That was somewhere else.
[00:42:07]  I know that we don't treat women like that here to their face.
[00:42:10]  Yeah.
[00:42:11]  Like you said, we can objectively talk about a woman's body.
[00:42:15]  I don't even think her ass is the best part of her body.
[00:42:17]  This guy clearly is not familiar with Latinas or is from a place where they're predominantly Mexicans and they're built like a fucking back of Shifty's head.
[00:42:27]  Right?
[00:42:30]  What, guys?
[00:42:33]  What?
[00:42:34]  Wait, what's your favorite part of AOC?
[00:42:36]  Her brain.
[00:42:37]  Her mind.
[00:42:37]  Her brain.
[00:42:38]  Her smile.
[00:42:39]  Yeah, I like her mind.
[00:42:40]  Okay.
[00:42:41]  I'm into her mind.
[00:42:42]  Yeah.
[00:42:43]  What's your favorite thing that she's ever said?
[00:42:44]  Like, what's your favorite thought of hers?
[00:42:47]  Like, she said something, you were like, wow, I'm really attracted to this woman's brain.
[00:42:50]  She was fighting for the working class and her huge fucking fact.
[00:42:56]  You know?
[00:42:57]  But she was fighting for the working class and fighting for you.
[00:43:00]  And you're a socialist, bro.
[00:43:01]  Say again.
[00:43:02]  You're a socialist.
[00:43:03]  When it comes to women's issues, I'm a socialist.
[00:43:06]  Yes.
[00:43:06]  When it comes to women's bodies, I'm a socialist.
[00:43:10]  Trying to seize the means of reproduction.
[00:43:11]  Let's go, baby.
[00:43:12]  I see you.
[00:43:13]  Did you see what he just did right there?
[00:43:15]  He just was the next.
[00:43:16]  I mean, if we're talking about communism, that would be like next level joke.
[00:43:19]  But that was a good joke, right there.
[00:43:20]  Yeah, yeah.
[00:43:21]  I mean, like, seize the money.
[00:43:24]  He's a closeted Marxist.
[00:43:26]  He's a Marxist right there.
[00:43:28]  That was a next level joke.
[00:43:29]  Thanks, Dad.
[00:43:30]  Seize the means of reproduction.
[00:43:32]  Now, technically, that would make me a conservative, though.
[00:43:35]  Why?
[00:43:35]  Because you're trying to grab him by the pussy?
[00:43:37]  No.
[00:43:38]  Conservatives are trying to seize the means of reproduction, which is the most communist thing.
[00:43:43]  That's actually a funny spin.
[00:43:45]  Why are you being so communist?
[00:43:46]  What do you mean?
[00:43:46]  Well, you're trying to seize the means of reproduction.
[00:43:48]  Yeah.
[00:43:48]  Wow.
[00:43:49]  That'd be a smart spin, but they wouldn't get it because I'm barely getting it.
[00:43:52]  Mark, can you explain it with your gay things?
[00:43:56]  Miles?
[00:43:57]  Pro-life teriot.
[00:43:59]  Oh, that was good.
[00:44:00]  That was good.
[00:44:02]  Oh, God.
[00:44:02]  We're firing on all sides.
[00:44:04]  Somebody's happening, bro.
[00:44:05]  It is really happening.
[00:44:06]  Dove, tell us about how my friend Jason almost ruined your date last night.
[00:44:09]  Oh, I need to hear this story.
[00:44:12]  I mean, what happened?
[00:44:13]  Dove texted me like exasperated and he goes, can you call me?
[00:44:16]  And I go, I'm in bed.
[00:44:17]  I can't.
[00:44:18]  He goes, this is going to have to wait till tomorrow.
[00:44:20]  I go, can't text this.
[00:44:24]  He goes, I cannot text this.
[00:44:26]  Right.
[00:44:26]  And I'm like, uh-oh, what's going on?
[00:44:27]  Just tell me what happened.
[00:44:29]  What transpired?
[00:44:30]  Went on a date with an age-appropriate woman yesterday.
[00:44:32]  Yeah.
[00:44:32]  And then he's immediately going to say something that could have been a text, but go ahead.
[00:44:35]  Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[00:44:36]  I just want to know: is that what my voice sounds like in your head when I text you?
[00:44:39]  Yeah.
[00:44:41]  I honestly thought.
[00:44:42]  I didn't hear.
[00:44:44]  I thought that was you doing.
[00:44:45]  I thought that was you twice.
[00:44:46]  No.
[00:44:48]  Okay.
[00:44:48]  Go, I mean, like, the amount of sass in the text message.
[00:44:53]  Yeah.
[00:44:54]  I got to get the text message out.
[00:44:55]  You start telling the story.
[00:44:56]  I went on a date last night.
[00:44:58]  Girl, I walked up to, met, met her.
[00:45:00]  Don't try to remove emotion.
[00:45:01]  I want you to keep the emotion, Dub.
[00:45:02]  Don't try to play cool.
[00:45:04]  Be honest, how you feel, live in your emotion.
[00:45:06]  Act.
[00:45:07]  This was wild.
[00:45:09]  Okay.
[00:45:10]  I don't know how to do it in a jokey way.
[00:45:12]  I don't know how to do it.
[00:45:13]  Be you, Dub.
[00:45:14]  Be honest.
[00:45:14]  Be natural.
[00:45:15]  No, I'm sitting down.
[00:45:16]  The table was for four.
[00:45:17]  We took a corner table.
[00:45:19]  The two of us sitting catty corner.
[00:45:21]  You and your date?
[00:45:22]  He goes, dude, you have no idea what Jason did on my date.
[00:45:27]  Oof.
[00:45:30]  Bro, when you're texting a sound effect, I'm going to sex a sound effect.
[00:45:34]  I got that from my sister.
[00:45:35]  Yes, there's some oofs in my text.
[00:45:38]  Her name was dot, dot, dot, oof, right?
[00:45:41]  And then I go, what?
[00:45:43]  I just go, what?
[00:45:44]  He goes, too much to type.
[00:45:47]  All good now.
[00:45:48]  But never experience a friend running while I was on a date that was as bad as that.
[00:45:55]  What did he do?
[00:45:55]  Just act like an idiot?
[00:45:57]  He goes, it's what he said.
[00:46:00]  Wait, my jaw was on the floor.
[00:46:04]  Who the fuck speaks like this?
[00:46:07]  I hate this guy that you're reading texts from.
[00:46:09]  What?
[00:46:10]  Whoever that is.
[00:46:11]  I go, what did he say?
[00:46:12]  He goes, call me if you're up.
[00:46:16]  I mean, Dove really thinks his life is like a TV novella.
[00:46:19]  It's like everything is like a soap opera.
[00:46:21]  You guys have turned my dating life into that.
[00:46:23]  So why can't I assume, at least in this category, it is a novella.
[00:46:26]  How could you betray me?
[00:46:29]  I go, tell me.
[00:46:30]  He goes, I'm in bed.
[00:46:30]  I go, tell me.
[00:46:31]  He goes, tomorrow then.
[00:46:32]  I go, bro, you can't say that before I go to sleep.
[00:46:34]  I go, well, he goes, just stuff I couldn't believe he would say to a guy that was on a date.
[00:46:40]  Quotes, oh, you're Jewish?
[00:46:43]  Oh, no.
[00:46:44]  I thought Dove only goes out with Jewish girls.
[00:46:48]  Not that crazy.
[00:46:49]  Yeah, why say I sound bad?
[00:46:51]  He's sitting in front of a girl.
[00:46:52]  He doesn't know what she is.
[00:46:53]  Is it bad because he's lying and everybody knows he wouldn't touch a shoe ever?
[00:46:59]  I just don't get it.
[00:47:00]  No, it was sitting down saying, hey, how'd you guys do it?
[00:47:03]  Does these girls pussy lips are made of bacon?
[00:47:05]  Is that why you decided to sit so far from them?
[00:47:09]  Your girl is Jewish.

=== Dove Dates Dating Nightmares (04:35) ===

[00:47:11]  I'm not worried about that.
[00:47:13]  Yeah.
[00:47:13]  Listen.
[00:47:15]  I'm not going to do it if he just mirrors and just takes her aside completely.
[00:47:18]  This was actually, this is wild.
[00:47:21]  What am I mirroring?
[00:47:21]  Do you want to tell you something?
[00:47:23]  I'm going to bully you.
[00:47:24]  Okay.
[00:47:25]  This is what's fun.
[00:47:26]  Also, how do you think I feel about you never talking to Jewish women and talking to us about Judaism all the time?
[00:47:32]  No, he brings it up.
[00:47:34]  Anyway, I'm sitting on a date.
[00:47:35]  Yeah.
[00:47:36]  30-year-old woman.
[00:47:38]  30-year-old woman works at a bank, beautiful, Brazilian, deep in Bolivia.
[00:47:45]  And blah, blah, blah.
[00:47:46]  And I see Jason walk by.
[00:47:47]  I'm like, oh, hey, he's out of drinks with some friends.
[00:47:50]  And it was just one of the, the first interaction was just like, hey, and we're just getting our date started.
[00:47:55]  And we've only met for 10 minutes before this.
[00:47:58]  And the pleasant trees are there.
[00:48:00]  And I was like, all right, gonna get back to my, gonna get back to my date right now.
[00:48:03]  And then he comes back again when the food arrives.
[00:48:07]  And he just, he was walking up to the rooftop and with his friends and then just stopped and just was there.
[00:48:13]  I was like, shoot.
[00:48:14]  So I'd be inviting him to sit down with us for a quick little sip while we're chatting.
[00:48:19]  Anyway, he takes a seat.
[00:48:21]  He starts going at it, just asking, oh, how'd you guys meet?
[00:48:24]  How long did it take him to do that?
[00:48:26]  I'm not going to.
[00:48:27]  I'm not even in this state, bro.
[00:48:30]  Oh, my God.
[00:48:31]  100,000 followers on TikTok.
[00:48:36]  Hold on.
[00:48:37]  Hold on, hold on, hold on.
[00:48:38]  Let me get it.
[00:48:39]  Let me get it.
[00:48:39]  Are you a content creator, Dove?
[00:48:40]  You're a content.
[00:48:42]  And it's Tutor's Day.
[00:48:42]  Let's go, buddy.
[00:48:44]  Bro, the rest of this story is available on Patreon.
[00:48:46]  Subscribe and you'll hear more.
[00:48:48]  No, it was just wild.
[00:48:49]  It was just like...
[00:48:50]  So he started going like, you're not Jewish.
[00:48:52]  And then the girl reacted poorly.
[00:48:53]  She's just like, wait, what?
[00:48:55]  And he's like, yeah, Dove Only Dates.
[00:48:57]  Dove only dates Jewish girls.
[00:48:59]  I'm like, what are you actually saying out of your mouth?
[00:49:02]  Even if that was true, not true.
[00:49:04]  Like, you're saying it to this girl that you just found out is not Jewish.
[00:49:07]  You're seeing that we're starting this date.
[00:49:10]  It's all assumptions.
[00:49:11]  How'd you meet?
[00:49:11]  Ends the conversation.
[00:49:12]  I'll just jump to the end.
[00:49:13]  We're like, well, hope this thing goes great.
[00:49:15]  See you guys at the wedding.
[00:49:17]  And she just, she was also on the floor.
[00:49:19]  I was like, was that weird to you?
[00:49:21]  And I'm like, yeah.
[00:49:23]  Let me explain to you.
[00:49:24]  The first thing that comes out of my mouth after it, it was so awkward.
[00:49:27]  Akash, you're either on my side or I'm not going to tell a story.
[00:49:31]  Let me tell you.
[00:49:32]  Yo, this guy's a lady.
[00:49:34]  It's unbelievable.
[00:49:35]  That's exactly what my name is saying.
[00:49:39]  Mark heard this story already.
[00:49:43]  I'm looking straight at Aikash.
[00:49:44]  And I don't like, hold on.
[00:49:45]  I don't like what's about to come out of his mouth.
[00:49:48]  Aikash, you're either on my side or I'm not telling this story.
[00:49:53]  Don't threaten me with a good time.
[00:49:55]  Don't even give me a chance to understand.
[00:49:58]  It was the most awkward friend run-in to say, like, did you guys kiss at the end?
[00:50:02]  No, he hates me.
[00:50:03]  I was just trying to save the date for the rest right afterwards.
[00:50:05]  It's not that bad.
[00:50:07]  Let me tell you the first thing.
[00:50:08]  That's awkward.
[00:50:08]  I'm not going to say what he did was good, but you act like it's some fucking, I can't recover from this.
[00:50:13]  That's not that big a deal.
[00:50:14]  No, but first of all, I'm going on a date.
[00:50:16]  Why do I need to work on recovering from a first date when it was going great?
[00:50:20]  Just be a friend that reads the room.
[00:50:22]  He didn't.
[00:50:23]  I continue.
[00:50:24]  The first thing that came out of my mouth when he walked away was this.
[00:50:28]  Hey, so let me tell you, he's not actually my friend.
[00:50:30]  He's my friend, Andrew's friend.
[00:50:32]  I met him through him.
[00:50:33]  And that was the first thing I had to do.
[00:50:35]  Fucking name-dropping you, bro.
[00:50:36]  That's how famous you get.
[00:50:37]  He's name-dropping me like that.
[00:50:39]  You know what I'm saying?
[00:50:39]  You know what I'm saying?
[00:50:40]  He didn't know who you were.
[00:50:42]  You were Andrew.
[00:50:43]  You were Andrew.
[00:50:45]  And I had to go through and explain that.
[00:50:47]  And yeah, there we go.
[00:50:49]  Okay.
[00:50:50]  I just want to do extra work with a, if it was.
[00:50:52]  It was extra work, but my jaw was on the floor.
[00:50:55]  Some whatever.
[00:50:56]  My jaw was on the floor.
[00:50:59]  You're the worst.
[00:51:01]  Your jaw was a gape?
[00:51:04]  What's crazy?
[00:51:05]  This is a couple weeks after I told him I'm not going to include him in any type of dating intel until the end.
[00:51:11]  I mean, I'm going on dates with Mark.
[00:51:13]  Yes.
[00:51:14]  I could do it with you.
[00:51:15]  He loves that.
[00:51:16]  Yeah.
[00:51:16]  He loves hanging out with you and your wife.
[00:51:18]  That's great.
[00:51:18]  We're a great little treat.
[00:51:19]  We have a standing sunset dinner.
[00:51:21]  I love it.
[00:51:22]  I chose not to bring a date because I'm like, no, I actually like the two of them together on the date.
[00:51:26]  Yeah.
[00:51:27]  It's slowly becoming more and more Jewish.
[00:51:29]  And I think that's why her and Dove are starting to connect.
[00:51:30]  Ah, she's slowly assimilating.
[00:51:33]  She literally drops some shit and goes, oh, she oish.
[00:51:36]  No.
[00:51:38]  Those are things that I don't even say.
[00:51:39]  That's like so yiddish.
[00:51:40]  So shave her head.
[00:51:42]  It's crazy.
[00:51:42]  That's fire, though.
[00:51:43]  Yeah, I've been piping through a sheet.
[00:51:44]  Awesome.
[00:51:45]  That's like our whole relationship.

=== Assisted Suicide Thoughts (08:55) ===

[00:51:47]  It's weirdly awesome.
[00:51:48]  These Jews figured it out.
[00:51:49]  Thank you so much.
[00:51:49]  We got my own bed.
[00:51:50]  It's been great.
[00:51:52]  Okay, what else we got, Mark?
[00:51:53]  You want to hit Feelings No Fact?
[00:51:54]  Yes, I want to hit Feelings No Fact immediately.
[00:51:56]  Skittles contain titanium dioxide.
[00:51:59]  Yeah, no shit.
[00:51:59]  Lawsuit.
[00:52:00]  I mean, y'all thought Skittles were made out of real food, bro.
[00:52:04]  Yeah.
[00:52:04]  Like, if Subway bread isn't even made out of real food, there's no fucking chance.
[00:52:08]  I mean, it's funny because Skittles' slogan is literally like, it tastes like rainbow.
[00:52:13]  It's not even like 100% juice.
[00:52:15]  But yeah, titanium dioxide.
[00:52:16]  Okay.
[00:52:16]  Are you still eating Skittles?
[00:52:17]  What's the deal?
[00:52:18]  Yeah, I'm going to eat them when they're there.
[00:52:19]  I'll have like a few of them, but I know what I'm getting into.
[00:52:21]  Skittles.
[00:52:21]  Yeah, they're horrible.
[00:52:22]  Yeah, pretty much any candy.
[00:52:23]  You're going to die.
[00:52:24]  It's bad.
[00:52:25]  All food that tastes good is bad, pretty much.
[00:52:27]  Especially in America, I don't give a fuck, dog.
[00:52:29]  The annoying part, though, is that titanium dioxide, which apparently is not illegal.
[00:52:32]  It sounds like it would give you superpowers.
[00:52:34]  Right?
[00:52:34]  It sounds awesome.
[00:52:34]  This shit seems like super.
[00:52:35]  That's the shit that's in Wolverine here.
[00:52:37]  That's also just for color.
[00:52:38]  It's just for coloring.
[00:52:39]  It's not even for the actual taste or nothing.
[00:52:41]  Why are we changing the color, yo?
[00:52:43]  To make it more appealing to look at.
[00:52:45]  Yeah, but like.
[00:52:46]  You ever eaten like a natural gummy or like an organic if you this is uh mad chocolate like chocolate?
[00:52:53]  If you go to like uh like Europe, the Sour Patch Kids, they have like a licorice flavor because they don't use artificial shit as much.
[00:52:58]  Yeah.
[00:52:59]  So they'll just have like, yeah, so it's mad dull.
[00:53:02]  Everything's mad dull.
[00:53:03]  And it tastes good, but this shit be slapping harder over here.
[00:53:07]  Yeah.
[00:53:07]  Literally, have you gone to England?
[00:53:09]  Go to London and every single corner just has like American candy store.
[00:53:12]  That's like it's taking over the whole city.
[00:53:14]  It's crazy.
[00:53:15]  Oh, that's right because they don't have shit.
[00:53:16]  Yeah.
[00:53:16]  Even going to Canada, they got like one peanut butter.
[00:53:20]  Exactly.
[00:53:20]  Like, yeah, America's got the best men.
[00:53:23]  You have the best candy, the best chocolate.
[00:53:25]  And yeah, it kind of kills you in the long run, but it's pretty good.
[00:53:27]  Your life that you're going to live is going to be the best.
[00:53:30]  Yeah.
[00:53:30]  You're going to enjoy this the most.
[00:53:31]  I'm solid for 50 years.
[00:53:34]  But a banger of those 50.
[00:53:37]  Exactly.
[00:53:37]  I'm here for a good time, not a long time.
[00:53:38]  There we go.
[00:53:39]  That's what it is.
[00:53:40]  There we go.
[00:53:41]  Give me titanium dioxide.
[00:53:42]  Give me all this shit.
[00:53:43]  What is America not the best at?
[00:53:44]  Low-key.
[00:53:46]  Healthcare is debatable.
[00:53:48]  Canadian healthcare sucks.
[00:53:49]  I heard.
[00:53:50]  I was talking to a Canadian doctor who was like, it actually sucks there.
[00:53:52]  The system sucks.
[00:53:53]  See?
[00:53:54]  For most people.
[00:53:55]  See?
[00:53:55]  He said, at least in America, you can pay for it if you want good healthcare.
[00:53:58]  Like, you got the money, you can pay.
[00:54:00]  You can get the best health care out there.
[00:54:01]  Okay.
[00:54:02]  And then in Canada, you're just like waiting on the system.
[00:54:05]  It's not accessible to anybody.
[00:54:06]  So even if I need something, but and I can pay for it right now, I have to like wait and qualify.
[00:54:12]  And I got to sit in this fucking cube for however many months.
[00:54:14]  He said, I've had a torn up knee for like two years.
[00:54:16]  It just hasn't gotten worked on.
[00:54:17]  That sounds like propaganda, but I'm going to believe that shit.
[00:54:21]  Yeah.
[00:54:21]  Why would he be propaganda?
[00:54:22]  He's a doctor out there.
[00:54:23]  Because doctors don't make no money out there, so they're salty.
[00:54:25]  Yeah, I think being rich anywhere is awesome.
[00:54:28]  Yo, I think that's what we're doing.
[00:54:29]  Doctors should be rich.
[00:54:30]  Being rich is awesome.
[00:54:31]  Named Andrew Tate once said that.
[00:54:33]  What he said.
[00:54:33]  And that's why he lives in Romania.
[00:54:35]  Yeah.
[00:54:35]  Because he could access the corruption.
[00:54:37]  Yeah.
[00:54:38]  Have bars, bro.
[00:54:39]  I'm not going to lie.
[00:54:39]  He goes, in America, you got to be a billionaire to access the corruption.
[00:54:42]  In Romania, you don't got to be a billionaire.
[00:54:44]  This guy.
[00:54:44]  Even though he's a billionaire and a trillionaire.
[00:54:46]  Yeah, exactly.
[00:54:47]  That being said, he says you don't have to be that in order to access it.
[00:54:51]  Yeah.
[00:54:51]  But there is something to that.
[00:54:53]  You know, you get pulled over in Mexico and you're able to bribe the fucking cop and now you don't go to the Mexican jail.
[00:54:58]  So America doesn't have the best corruption.
[00:54:59]  We, our corruption is not as good.
[00:55:01]  Fine.
[00:55:02]  There's a barrier to entry.
[00:55:03]  Inequality and the corruption here.
[00:55:05]  That's injustice.
[00:55:06]  That's too equal.
[00:55:08]  Yeah.
[00:55:08]  That's the only thing you can criticize about America.
[00:55:10]  It's too equal.
[00:55:12]  It's not corrupt enough.
[00:55:14]  Am I wrong?
[00:55:15]  People get hooked on opioids and shit like that.
[00:55:17]  Like that happens.
[00:55:18]  Fire way to go.
[00:55:18]  Okay.
[00:55:19]  Yeah.
[00:55:19]  Of all the ways to die, feeling amazing.
[00:55:22]  Playing Pink Floyd just fucking floating off into space.
[00:55:25]  Right?
[00:55:26]  You destroy your whole family, but you know who doesn't feel it?
[00:55:28]  You.
[00:55:29]  You.
[00:55:30]  Yeah, that's pretty good, actually.
[00:55:31]  That's true.
[00:55:31]  It's probably the best way to ruin your life.
[00:55:33]  No, it's true.
[00:55:33]  He's not with dopamine.
[00:55:34]  Logic checks out.
[00:55:36]  You died from dopamine.
[00:55:38]  You died from happiness.
[00:55:39]  Skittles and fucking heroins.
[00:55:41]  Awesome.
[00:55:41]  What kills people here?
[00:55:43]  Everything that feels good.
[00:55:45]  America's so good.
[00:55:46]  You die from feeling.
[00:55:47]  You die from indulging.
[00:55:48]  Yeah, indulging, you're either fat, from eating delicious sugar all day, opioid addiction, from having dopamine overflow all day.
[00:55:57]  Cigarettes, from a nice nicotine buzz cigarettes.
[00:56:00]  Suicide is a big taker of uh diabetes, of wives in America.
[00:56:03]  Oh, that suicide thing is tough pesky dude pesky, yeah yeah.
[00:56:11]  How do we work around that?
[00:56:13]  Well suicide, you die when you want.
[00:56:15]  It's your body, your choice.
[00:56:17]  Yo, facts.
[00:56:17]  Nobody says that when it comes to suicide.
[00:56:20]  Why is suicide illegal?
[00:56:21]  Do you know it is illegal, titanium docs.
[00:56:24]  No, suicide is illegal.
[00:56:26]  It's illegal to kill yourself.
[00:56:29]  Did you know that you try to kill yourself?
[00:56:30]  They lock your ass up.
[00:56:32]  They give you the death penalty sometimes.
[00:56:35]  Well, isn't that interesting, that would be fire, well.
[00:56:38]  Well well, we're gonna do it.
[00:56:40]  We're gonna do it right.
[00:56:41]  Yeah, that just incentivizes me.
[00:56:42]  Maybe they just don't want people to like, they don't want to pay for people who kill themselves and live.
[00:56:45]  So they're like, let's just make sure they kill themselves and then lock them.
[00:56:48]  Get you know, not lock them up, but just one time boom, but just make sure they do it right, because if they're like yo, if I don't die, I gotta go to jail.
[00:56:54]  Yeah, it's a double deterrent.
[00:56:55]  You gotta be the out of here.
[00:56:56]  But isn't that crazy like if?
[00:56:57]  Where are all the my body, my choice people?
[00:56:59]  They should be down for assisted suicide.
[00:57:01]  They probably.
[00:57:02]  I I, they are with it.
[00:57:03]  Yeah yeah, I think so probably.
[00:57:04]  Assisted suicide by all means.
[00:57:06]  Oh, you're cool with that, that's all over Europe everyone's doing.
[00:57:08]  By all means really yeah, I mean, usually there's like parameters, you have to have a terminal illness, etc.
[00:57:13]  Doctors like me just don't, like psychologist, write off all the whole thing.
[00:57:15]  But the co-founder of UH, Studio 54 just had that done.
[00:57:19]  Is that right?
[00:57:19]  Yeah son, that motherfucker's still kicking around.
[00:57:21]  What is his name Steve?
[00:57:22]  Uh, Steve will do it.
[00:57:24]  Had that, did it will do it for reposting the special.
[00:57:27]  Fine, thank you so much.
[00:57:28]  Had that done is funny.
[00:57:29]  Like it's a procedure.
[00:57:30]  Like he, he went in.
[00:57:32]  He went in for his appointment.
[00:57:33]  Steve Ravel yeah Rubell yeah, he had his, his suicide assistant.
[00:57:38]  He says, I can't walk, I can't stand, i'm just come on, let me go in America.
[00:57:42]  He did this.
[00:57:43]  No, i'll tell you right now.
[00:57:45]  It's legal in Oregon.
[00:57:46]  I know that, or it was years ago at least.
[00:57:48]  Yeah, they're big on that over there.
[00:57:49]  Now do you have to qualify for it.
[00:57:51]  What if you're just sad?
[00:57:52]  There's parameters you have to hit.
[00:57:53]  You can't just be sad like terminal illness last I checked I know that was the main one and then loss of quality of life is a big one like uh, if you have like Msls or like one of those yeah yeah, where they can keep you alive even, but like your quality of life is just gonna be nothing destroyed.
[00:58:09]  Sorry Mike uh, Mark Fleischman, he did it in Europe yeah 82, at a clinic in Switzerland I think I actually read a script about this where you go you, you come for your appointment and then they send you away for a week to make sure yeah yeah yeah, that is uh oh, that's a fire movie.
[00:58:27]  I think the movie was that week in between.
[00:58:29]  And then, like you find they remember, like he fell for someone or just found a new connection in life, and and then there's a, there's a, I think, either a thought experiment or some story of like a person that was losing their mind.
[00:58:40]  So they asked to do this.
[00:58:41]  And then, upon Belgium yeah, what is the story?
[00:58:45]  It was basically a woman that like had, she was basically like yo when I go crazy.
[00:58:49]  She was like suffering from like early onset dementia or something she was like.
[00:58:53]  When I eventually lose my mind I don't want to be a burden to you guys, I don't want to be a burden to myself i'm going to be out of my mind, I don't know how i'm going to be feeling put me down for assisted suicide, like signs, the paperwork and everything, get the doctors, get the whole thing.
[00:59:04]  And then eventually it got to that point where she was like ultimately, like completely senile, and they're like, okay, it's time for assisted suicide time.
[00:59:10]  She's like, I don't want to yeah, and they were like, but you said you, you wrote, signed the thing, you said you wanted to go, I forget.
[00:59:16]  And she was like, I don't, you gotta let her live, I didn't do it, you gotta let her live.
[00:59:20]  I think they ended up.
[00:59:21]  Uh yeah, I think she ended up shooting her in the head.
[00:59:26]  But isn't that crazy?
[00:59:28]  Like she should have agency over her body.
[00:59:30]  She should be able to make those decisions, even if she can only memor, remember certain things throughout the day.
[00:59:35]  Like she has the right in that moment to make that decision.
[00:59:38]  Even though she didn't want earlier on, she thought that she wouldn't want to live when this happened yeah, but now that it's happened, for whatever reason, she enjoys life enough to live.
[00:59:51]  She couldn't predict that before.
[00:59:53]  Yeah, she's maybe making that decision because she doesn't want to be a burden on her friends and family yeah, but still, now that you're in that moment, even though you have memory loss, you want to live.
[01:00:02]  You have to listen and even if you're not in your right mind, even if you're senile, you have to listen to that person.
[01:00:06]  You can't just kill somebody, because if you weren't senile and you were able to change your mind, we would believe you yeah, and we would take you serious.
[01:00:12]  Right 100?
[01:00:13]  Yeah, that's a tricky one.
[01:00:14]  Blame the bureaucracy yo, I got this done a little bit faster.
[01:00:17]  She'd be dead right now.
[01:00:18]  Canadian healthcare I know, i'm telling you bro yeah yeah, the justification I heard before, or reasoning, it's like the Us it's it's about.
[01:00:27]  We call it like taking your life or taking away life, and in Europe it's giving death.
[01:00:32]  So, like you're choosing the way, nothing's being taken from you.
[01:00:36]  Yeah, you're giving them yeah yeah yeah yeah, you're giving them like a freedom from their suffering.

=== Current App Giveaway (02:01) ===

[01:00:42]  Guys, Big Daisy Energy tour still going, still picking up momentum ACME comedy club we did this past weekend in Minneapolis, and everybody told me you should not do these clubs in the summer in Minneapolis because nobody does anything indoors.
[01:00:54]  They were alone, they were wrong.
[01:00:55]  We sold out all them fucking shows.
[01:00:57]  Thank you guys, so much for coming now.
[01:00:58]  July 28th through 30th, i'm gonna be at the American Comedy Company in San Diego.
[01:01:02]  Those shows are already getting close to selling out, so you need to buy your tickets now.
[01:01:06]  And then, august 5th through 6th, i'm gonna be in Atlantic City, New Jersey.
[01:01:09]  Guys, let's go back.
[01:01:10]  Let's run it back.
[01:01:11]  I got a five thousand dollar bet to place on a handle roulette with y'all you garbage guys.
[01:01:15]  We're gonna do that.
[01:01:16]  Let's sell them bitches out.
[01:01:17]  August 11th through 13th, i'm gonna be in Tempe Arizona, at the Improv.
[01:01:21]  September 9th and 10th, i'm, gonna be in Orlando, Florida.
[01:01:23]  Your boy, Mark Gagnon, is gonna be featuring.
[01:01:25]  So go to Akashsing.com to get your tickets and listen.
[01:01:29]  Do not skip this, because remember Current, the mobile banking app that is fixing banking.
[01:01:34]  Well look, we partnered with Current in june to give away five thousand dollars to 10 flagrant listeners.
[01:01:41]  The winners were randomly selected and paid out five hundred dollars each.
[01:01:45]  You think that we're just saying that?
[01:01:46]  We're not just saying that.
[01:01:47]  I'm gonna say their names right now, Thomas from Omaha, Carlos from Georgetown, Jared from Dundalk I don't know the that is Trayvon from Oklahoma City, Noah from Las Vegas, Alisi from Maplewood, Dylan from Phoenix, Daniel from Sanger, Jeffrey from San Diego and Zach from Rochester.
[01:02:03]  So if that sounds like it could be, you check your current account that money is in there And let us know what you spend that $500 on.
[01:02:10]  Also, if you didn't sign up for current, it's not too late.
[01:02:12]  Current is giving away an extra $2,000 total to four more listeners.
[01:02:16]  That's $500 to four random listeners who sign up at current.com/slash flagrant2.
[01:02:21]  Go to current.com slash flagrant2 or enter the code flagrant2 in the current app for a chance to win.
[01:02:28]  Telling you, this is why not win money.
[01:02:31]  It's right there.
[01:02:32]  I mean, it just seems like such a no-brainer.
[01:02:33]  Every other bank taking your money, these guys giving you money.
[01:02:35]  That's right.
[01:02:36]  Current is the future of banking.
[01:02:38]  Currents wants to get you your money faster, help you move it faster, and give you the tools to spend and save better.

=== Pheromones and Vabbing Trends (07:55) ===

[01:02:44]  Okay.
[01:02:44]  A couple things they got: no minimum balance fees, getting points when you spend, redeemable for cash back, getting your paycheck up to due days faster, free, fee-free overdraft, and grow your savings faster with the 4% AP.
[01:02:59]  Why?
[01:02:59]  So, what are you going to do?
[01:03:01]  You're going to get current for a chance to win $500.
[01:03:03]  And you're going to do that by going to current.com/slash flagrant2 or using the code flagrant2 when you are there.
[01:03:10]  Thank y'all so much.
[01:03:11]  I got to help y'all smoke with the best.
[01:03:13]  And freeze pipe is the best.
[01:03:14]  Plain and motherfucking simple, okay?
[01:03:17]  You're tired of destroying your throat, your lungs.
[01:03:19]  You're smoking that hot ass weed smoke when you don't have to.
[01:03:24]  I know you look at me right now, you're like, Schultz, smoke is hot, fire is hot.
[01:03:28]  How the fuck can the actual smoke not be hot?
[01:03:31]  Well, when you got these glycerin chambers right here, you freeze these bad boys and you take a hit of this, you're gonna have the coolest smoke you've ever had in your life.
[01:03:40]  You're gonna be taking the biggest bong rips you ever done in your entire life.
[01:03:43]  And look how gorgeous this thing, okay?
[01:03:46]  You might bring some girls over to use it as a sex toy.
[01:03:49]  That's just a bonus.
[01:03:50]  My point is: the freeze pipe, the freeze pipe itself is the best in the business, and you are gonna get it.
[01:03:57]  And you know what?
[01:03:58]  We're gonna get you a discount with it.
[01:04:00]  That's right.
[01:04:01]  For the smoothest glass pieces at everyday great prices, you just gotta go to thefreezepipe.com and use the code flagrant for 15% off your order.
[01:04:10]  That's thefreezepipe.com and use the code flagrant for 15% off.
[01:04:16]  Shop today.
[01:04:17]  Your throat and lungs will thank you.
[01:04:19]  Now let's get back to the show.
[01:04:21]  Okay, what do we got right here, Mark?
[01:04:22]  Okay, this is a brand new trend.
[01:04:24]  It's called vabbing.
[01:04:25]  All right.
[01:04:25]  This is like going around TikTok.
[01:04:27]  At the gym.
[01:04:28]  Vabbing at the gym for the first time.
[01:04:31]  You guys are going to believe me.
[01:04:33]  Okay, now I'm in the sauna, but it worked.
[01:04:35]  The vabbing worked.
[01:04:37]  So just based off that alone, what do you think vabbing is?
[01:04:41]  I mean, I have no fucking.
[01:04:42]  She says, I'm vabbing at the gym.
[01:04:44]  And then she goes, it works.
[01:04:45]  The vabbing was successful.
[01:04:47]  If you had to guess.
[01:04:48]  Nope, nope.
[01:04:51]  Something to do with the vagina.
[01:04:53]  Yes.
[01:04:54]  Because va is in there.
[01:04:55]  Yep.
[01:04:56]  And these women aren't creative enough to think of a new term.
[01:04:58]  You know what I mean?
[01:04:58]  So you're on it.
[01:05:00]  Vaginal what?
[01:05:01]  Mark, any idea?
[01:05:03]  Miles, any idea?
[01:05:04]  My bad.
[01:05:05]  Vibrating.
[01:05:06]  This is basically a new phenomenon where women are mixing in their vaginal fluids either with perfume or just going straight raw dog and putting it on like their neck in their hair on their wrist.
[01:05:17]  Vaginal dabbing.
[01:05:18]  Like perfume.
[01:05:18]  Dab perfume as a way to spread their pheromones and attract men in a more natural way.
[01:05:25]  It doesn't matter how much pussy juice that woman puts on that fucking cow zone of a neck of hers.
[01:05:33]  I'm not.
[01:05:34]  I am not hitting her.
[01:05:35]  There is, that girl's out of her mind.
[01:05:38]  She's sitting there going, first of all, you're not going to the gym.
[01:05:40]  They're like, don't, don't, don't even, don't even start with that.
[01:05:45]  I was at the gym.
[01:05:46]  What's she wearing, first of all?
[01:05:47]  Can we re-watch that video?
[01:05:48]  I'm not going to play it again.
[01:05:49]  I've refused, okay?
[01:05:50]  No, dude.
[01:05:52]  Stop that.
[01:05:52]  Yeah.
[01:05:53]  And this is bad.
[01:05:54]  Now you have like younger women are going to look at this and they're going to be like throwing pussy juice all over their necks and shit.
[01:06:00]  Why is this bad?
[01:06:02]  She's fully dressed in the sauna.
[01:06:03]  So that is the word.
[01:06:04]  What the fuck is going on?
[01:06:05]  I understand why she's fully dressed in the sauna.
[01:06:07]  Maybe because she doesn't go to the gym that often.
[01:06:08]  She doesn't know how to dress in the sauna.
[01:06:10]  Come on.
[01:06:10]  Or maybe she's to sweat as much as humanly possible.
[01:06:13]  Yeah, stop it.
[01:06:13]  This is this is a whole thing.
[01:06:15]  People are doing this all over the country.
[01:06:16]  This is cap.
[01:06:17]  Yeah, I don't believe.
[01:06:18]  What do you mean it's cap?
[01:06:18]  It's happening.
[01:06:19]  This woman is doing it right there.
[01:06:21]  Okay, but is it how do we know it's working?
[01:06:23]  She's by herself in a sauna saying it worked.
[01:06:26]  Why wouldn't it work?
[01:06:27]  Okay.
[01:06:27]  The pheromones.
[01:06:28]  Hold on.
[01:06:28]  If you can smell them, you're going to be drawn to it.
[01:06:32]  I don't know if you will 100%.
[01:06:34]  We're not just drawn to pheromones.
[01:06:36]  Like we have eyes, dude.
[01:06:37]  Yeah.
[01:06:37]  Yeah.
[01:06:38]  You know what I'm saying?
[01:06:39]  People ask pheromones is a love potion.
[01:06:41]  It's not.
[01:06:41]  It can heighten some stuff, but that's it.
[01:06:43]  Have you ever heard that shit, though, where like they gave woman a bunch of samples of t-shirts, smell all the shirts, whichever shirt, which one do you think smells the best?
[01:06:49]  And then they did like a blind test on which guy they thought was most true.
[01:06:52]  There was a correlation between like the shirt smell and the guy.
[01:06:55]  I believe there's a correlation.
[01:06:56]  But again, if I saw her.
[01:06:59]  Look at him.
[01:07:00]  He looks like if Jason said that ask if your girl is true.
[01:07:05]  No, I actually think that's interesting.
[01:07:07]  I like experiments like that.
[01:07:08]  Like that's a more like sophisticated version of astrology, right?
[01:07:11]  So instead of like, oh, you were born on this billion and your sun rising and that kind of shit, you're seeing who you're naturally attracted to.
[01:07:20]  Now, are we naturally attracted to a smell or scent, or are we naturally attracted to an ability to protect and provide and the physiology and biology of someone that can do those things?
[01:07:36]  For example, like, do women like a taller guy because they think, oh, you could probably protect me a little bit more?
[01:07:41]  Like, is that override the smell?
[01:07:44]  I think attraction is physical first, like how you look, appearance.
[01:07:48]  And then it goes to this other stuff heightens it.
[01:07:50]  Pheromones.
[01:07:51]  That's when you really connect with somebody.
[01:07:53]  Yeah, yeah.
[01:07:53]  When the pheromones line up first, I think they're cute.
[01:07:55]  Then they got the pheromones popping.
[01:07:57]  We match up.
[01:07:58]  Now we're in, in, in.
[01:07:59]  Now, this, this is, this is a, this sounds like a bit.
[01:08:03]  Like, and it is like something that I've thought of in that regard.
[01:08:06]  I might even try it on stage.
[01:08:07]  But like, I think that if women are sexually attractive, like they are turned on by different things than us, then sexual harassment from them should be adjusted.
[01:08:19]  For example, if a woman is into tall guys, right?
[01:08:24]  If a girl goes, how tall are you?
[01:08:26]  That's sexual harassment.
[01:08:27]  That is akin to a guy asking about a girl doing what fucking the guy did to AOC.
[01:08:32]  Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[01:08:33]  Like if you're just seeing guys go, oh, you're so tall, that's your big booty Latina.
[01:08:36]  Yeah.
[01:08:37]  You're a big booty Latina like me, right?
[01:08:39]  That's great.
[01:08:39]  So because you're not into physical looks in the same way that we are.
[01:08:43]  You fucking creep.
[01:08:44]  Yeah.
[01:08:45]  You're creepy.
[01:08:46]  Grandma, what do you mean I was this tall when you fucking saw me last?
[01:08:49]  Like, what do you, yeah, weirdo.
[01:08:50]  And now, how you feel, Grandma?
[01:08:52]  Yeah.
[01:08:52]  Now that's your boy all big and tall.
[01:08:53]  Yeah, I'm strong and handsome.
[01:08:57]  But isn't there something to that?
[01:08:58]  Like, like, what do you do for a living?
[01:09:00]  Asking a guy what you do for a living, knowing full well that a certain profession might be attractive to you biologically.
[01:09:05]  I'm not saying you're some fucking gold digger at all.
[01:09:07]  I'm saying like you, your loins are craving a man who can protect you when you have a kid and you can't work.
[01:09:13]  Your loins.
[01:09:15]  Okay, if you ask about my job, what's up with the Areos?
[01:09:22]  Isn't that the same thing?
[01:09:22]  That's a quality.
[01:09:23]  That's a quality.
[01:09:24]  Can you be able to come right back with that?
[01:09:25]  That's a quality for a living.
[01:09:26]  How big your titties.
[01:09:27]  Kev, big Kev?
[01:09:28]  Hold on.
[01:09:28]  You know how often he gets asked how tall are you by what?
[01:09:31]  It's unbelievable.
[01:09:32]  Sex harassing this guy into a girl.
[01:09:33]  No dude, ask?
[01:09:34]  No, dude.
[01:09:34]  I don't care exactly how tall are you?
[01:09:36]  Yeah, you tall.
[01:09:37]  That was the first thing I asked when I saw him.
[01:09:42]  And I asked his profession.
[01:09:43]  I was like, do you play basketball, please?
[01:09:46]  This is my second question.
[01:09:48]  It's like, I shoot video for Akash.
[01:09:49]  Boom, Were you dying to ask that question of someone who wasn't black?
[01:09:54]  Finally?
[01:09:55]  Yes.
[01:09:55]  You play basketball.
[01:09:56]  Seriously.
[01:09:57]  Finally.
[01:09:58]  I can ask a white guy.
[01:09:59]  It cannot be racist asking that question.
[01:10:01]  I like meet white basketball players too.
[01:10:02]  Those are like my heroes.
[01:10:03]  Why, why, why?
[01:10:04]  Because they're overcoming adversity, you know?
[01:10:06]  Yeah, that's true.
[01:10:06]  Yeah, that's true.
[01:10:07]  That's like that Tosh bit where he's like, dude, white players should, their points should count one extra.
[01:10:11]  Why?
[01:10:11]  Because it's like, he has a bunch of justifications for it.
[01:10:15]  But he's like, yeah, it's like, it's harder for them to score points.
[01:10:17]  So you might as well add a point to every basket they make.
[01:10:20]  And then on top of that, it proves to black people that white people are going to always earn more than them.
[01:10:26]  You know, Tosh is a goat, dude.
[01:10:28]  We got to get Tosh on the podcast.
[01:10:29]  I would love that.
[01:10:30]  We got to get.
[01:10:31]  I would love that.
[01:10:32]  He's great.
[01:10:32]  Yeah, he's a fucking beast.
[01:10:34]  All right.
[01:10:34]  You want to hit one more?
[01:10:35]  Yep.
[01:10:35]  Let's do it.
[01:10:36]  Okay.
[01:10:36]  Do you want to talk about Deezus and Merrow splitting up?

=== White Basketball Heroes (15:45) ===

[01:10:39]  Yeah, man.
[01:10:40]  That's unfortunate.
[01:10:41]  It's sad, yo.
[01:10:42]  It's sad because we've known them since what?
[01:10:44]  It's Guy Code.
[01:10:45]  Guy code.
[01:10:46]  Yeah.
[01:10:46]  Yeah.
[01:10:47]  And I didn't know how big they were until we did an AMA for like the first season of Guy Code or whatever we were on.
[01:10:52]  People asking them.
[01:10:53]  Every question was Deesus and Mira.
[01:10:54]  Charlamagne was with us.
[01:10:55]  Andrew was there.
[01:10:56]  And I assumed all the questions would be them and so many Deesus and Merrill questions.
[01:11:00]  And the saddest thing is the friendship seems like it's fucked up.
[01:11:04]  That's what it seems like.
[01:11:05]  Like, it doesn't seem like it's amicable.
[01:11:06]  To me, that's the saddest thing.
[01:11:08]  And that's like, bro, that's, I always think about that with this, like the friendship always, we always say to each other, friendship got to come first.
[01:11:13]  That is what come first.
[01:11:15]  If it ends amicably, hey, everybody's happy.
[01:11:17]  This is what was best.
[01:11:18]  If it ends with the friendship going sour, fuck, dude, that sucks.
[01:11:22]  If you nurture the friendship, then usually the business relationship will be good.
[01:11:27]  Yeah, but it does get harder because you get busier and then the work becomes the friendship.
[01:11:31]  And then you have to like, it's like a relationship.
[01:11:32]  You got to like make time.
[01:11:34]  That made me be like, yo, we got to like get dinner or something because you don't get time anymore.
[01:11:37]  100%.
[01:11:38]  And like, I think one thing that we have that's very beneficial is that we both have things outside of this thing that nourish us.
[01:11:45]  Yes.
[01:11:45]  So like stand-up, like, and I wonder if them not having that was also difficult.
[01:11:52]  I mean, I don't know, but like the idea that you have your own thing or like even having brilliant idiots, like another thing that I'm doing outside of this, so that there are kind of your, your, your identity is, is nourished in that way as well.
[01:12:09]  And we started with that.
[01:12:10]  So when we step out or when you start, you're still doing stuff on your own.
[01:12:13]  If you start together and then one of you steps out and does your own thing, the other person might be like, yo, what the fuck?
[01:12:17]  Yo, you're supposed to be together.
[01:12:19]  Leaving me.
[01:12:19]  Yeah.
[01:12:20]  This is understood.
[01:12:21]  Stand-up is our love.
[01:12:22]  We're going to do that all the time.
[01:12:23]  Yeah.
[01:12:23]  So I think that helps for sure.
[01:12:25]  Yeah.
[01:12:25]  Having that like thing that you're passionate about.
[01:12:28]  Yeah.
[01:12:29]  Stand-up is the shit, bro.
[01:12:31]  But also just like having like having a thing that you're passionate about and then everything else is serving that is so valuable when you're like an entertainer or whatever.
[01:12:41]  Like, because if you're, if you're an entertainer for entertainer's sake, that's tricky, yo.
[01:12:49]  You might not get them movie roles no more.
[01:12:50]  Right.
[01:12:50]  And then you might have to accept movies you don't like or don't want to do so you could get something, right?
[01:12:56]  Where it's just like as a stand-up, like you get to do your jokes.
[01:13:01]  That crowd might suck.
[01:13:02]  It might be a shitty venue on the road, but it's still the thing you want to say and the thing that you want to do.
[01:13:08]  You write the script.
[01:13:09]  Exactly.
[01:13:09]  That is the passion.
[01:13:10]  And there's a muscle that you're working on.
[01:13:11]  I guess if you do a shitty movie, you can like work on the muscle of acting within that movie.
[01:13:15]  But like, we never have to do the lines that we don't want to do or we don't believe in.
[01:13:19]  And like having that thing, and now I'm really missing a stand-up, but like having that thing, I don't know.
[01:13:26]  It's just really like as an entertainer, like for me, I could always feel successful, even if success isn't there because I'm working towards the thing that I love the most and that's within my control.
[01:13:37]  Yeah.
[01:13:38]  Whereas if you're an actor, if you're even a musician and people don't like an album and now you're like, fuck, man.
[01:13:43]  Like, the fuck am I supposed to do?
[01:13:45]  I might not even have the opportunity to do another.
[01:13:47]  It's like, I guess with music, you could just make your music.
[01:13:50]  That's, I never think it's more vulnerable if you're just like an entertainer, like where fame is the goal.
[01:13:58]  Yes.
[01:13:58]  Not art is the goal.
[01:14:00]  Maybe that's a more nuanced thing.
[01:14:01]  Understand that thing that we always joke about white people tell their kids, like, do what you love.
[01:14:05]  I get do what you're passionate about because you can throw yourself into that completely and be fulfilled.
[01:14:10]  If you're passionate about even acting, like you said, I can take this shitty role and I can be passionate about my craft and work on my craft.
[01:14:16]  If my passion is just I want to be famous, you're not going to feel full ever.
[01:14:22]  So we're very fortunate in that sense that we're passionate about a thing we can just go work on and that's it.
[01:14:26]  I don't need anything else.
[01:14:27]  Yeah.
[01:14:29]  Yeah, man, that would suck.
[01:14:31]  Yeah.
[01:14:32]  If fame was success.
[01:14:33]  Yeah.
[01:14:35]  Yeah, because then you can't control your success.
[01:14:37]  And how vulnerable is that?
[01:14:38]  Yeah.
[01:14:39]  Yeah.
[01:14:40]  Like you, yeah, like you being a successful, I don't know, that's a weird thing.
[01:14:45]  Like once you tie business to it, like success is kind of has some sort of like monetary output.
[01:14:50]  Yeah.
[01:14:50]  But like being like a successful like restaurant tour, whatever like that, like you don't got to own 50 restaurants.
[01:14:56]  Right.
[01:14:57]  You could just have the best 10-seat restaurant and be proud of the food you make and picture the people.
[01:15:01]  Like that to you could be success.
[01:15:02]  Yep.
[01:15:03]  Yeah.
[01:15:03]  Once you're, once you're actually like surviving off the art, after that, it's like what you want.
[01:15:09]  But fame, there's always going to be someone more famous.
[01:15:13]  Yep.
[01:15:14]  You don't care about the thing you do to get the fame.
[01:15:16]  So now you're going to be shameless.
[01:15:18]  Yep.
[01:15:18]  That is, that's where you see people get fucked up in that Hollywood system.
[01:15:22]  They got nothing to tie.
[01:15:23]  They can't tie themselves to anything.
[01:15:25]  But the reward system there is so interesting.
[01:15:27]  It's like, I think we've probably spoken about this before, but like, and I'm not trying to be like, New York is better than LA, but in terms of like a city, New York cares about art.
[01:15:37]  Now, I don't mean paintings.
[01:15:40]  Right.
[01:15:41]  Right?
[01:15:41]  Like, I mean like the model that's kind of like weird looking will be the most popular model here.
[01:15:48]  You know what I'm saying?
[01:15:49]  The like the rapper, like Biggie don't look like he's supposed to be the biggest rapper in the world, but the art was crazy.
[01:15:57]  Yeah.
[01:15:57]  So people are like, I don't care if he's cocky or fat or all these other things.
[01:16:01]  He's just so nice.
[01:16:02]  We need him.
[01:16:04]  You know, where Tupac had a six pack.
[01:16:06]  He's beautiful.
[01:16:07]  LA is like, oh, this is the guy.
[01:16:09]  He's articulate.
[01:16:10]  He's handsome.
[01:16:11]  He can act.
[01:16:11]  We can put him in movies.
[01:16:12]  Nobody's putting Big in a movie, but the bars were crazy.
[01:16:15]  He's shitting on everybody.
[01:16:16]  So I think it's like, there's something about this city that still has that like fucking artsy vibe, but we appreciate the creative.
[01:16:23]  Yeah.
[01:16:24]  Not just the hype.
[01:16:25]  And sometimes we even shun the hype.
[01:16:27]  Like if there's something that's like really popular here, like New Yorkers can kind of like reject it a little bit.
[01:16:32]  Well, what is theater?
[01:16:33]  It's acting for not famous people.
[01:16:35]  And for not as much money, too.
[01:16:36]  Yes.
[01:16:37]  It's just like the skill.
[01:16:38]  Right.
[01:16:38]  Right.
[01:16:38]  And I think that like, I think LA, because the machine is built around monetary gain, obviously, there's more of like an industry built around it.
[01:16:49]  And you could probably speak more to this, Dove, but like you need the thing that's popular because that's going to make the most money.
[01:16:54]  Yeah.
[01:16:55]  Like this is a business here.
[01:16:56]  Yes.
[01:16:56]  It is show business.
[01:16:58]  Literally, show business.
[01:16:59]  Yeah.
[01:16:59]  And that is going to, the most popular industry in your town is going to inform the culture of the town.
[01:17:04]  If you live in like one of these college towns is big into sports, like part of the culture is being into Notre Dame or being into whatever the soccer team it is that is like runs that little town in England.
[01:17:15]  Yeah.
[01:17:15]  Right.
[01:17:16]  New York celebrates art with museums too.
[01:17:19]  Yeah.
[01:17:19]  Like the Guggenheim, they have a mall.
[01:17:22]  Yeah.
[01:17:22]  And I never thought about it as much, like how that influences culture.
[01:17:26]  But like the fact that we would even go to those museums in like elementary school.
[01:17:30]  That's why you got the, that's why you got Basquiat and Warhol.
[01:17:33]  Yeah.
[01:17:33]  That's artists in residence, like all of that layer is so good.
[01:17:36]  But they're like, they're putting it into you as like a kid.
[01:17:38]  And I don't think this is bad, but they're going, hey, these places are valuable and being in here is valuable.
[01:17:44]  The city puts money into it and like there's a concerted effort to like cultivate that.
[01:17:47]  To like to let you know as a child, like art has value.
[01:17:50]  Yeah.
[01:17:51]  And I wonder if like coming up like that, like even the guys I gravitated to in stand-up were not the most popular guys.
[01:17:57]  Like Patrice was not a popular guy, but I was like, you're doing this the best.
[01:18:01]  Yeah.
[01:18:02]  And even the other comics that I saw, like, you know, Mike DiStefano and like the Greer Barnes and like these guys were not necessarily the most famous guy, but I was like, but you guys are the best.
[01:18:10]  Yeah.
[01:18:11]  And I wonder if that has to do with growing up in a place where like valuing creative or valuing the art.
[01:18:18]  What about if you trace it all the way back to its roots?
[01:18:21]  Like New York, like the inception of America, like early on, you fucking Thoreau was here and Walt Whitman was here.
[01:18:28]  And you hear about all these amazing writers and all this culture that springs up and like, hey, we're not going to, this Central Park, we're not going to touch.
[01:18:34]  This is not for commerce.
[01:18:35]  You're going to appreciate life.
[01:18:36]  You're going to appreciate art.
[01:18:37]  You're going to appreciate living.
[01:18:38]  That is like a culture.
[01:18:40]  Yeah.
[01:18:41]  The culture that sprang up was we're not pure capitalism.
[01:18:44]  We're about thoughts.
[01:18:45]  We're about art.
[01:18:46]  Whatever.
[01:18:46]  LA was a fucking desert where people were like, hey, we can make money here.
[01:18:50]  The weather's great.
[01:18:52]  Let's build houses.
[01:18:53]  Let's build Hollywood.
[01:18:54]  Let's move show business out here.
[01:18:55]  Show business is what built LA.
[01:18:57]  So the culture is fame and show business.
[01:18:58]  Joey, Joey had an interesting point.
[01:19:00]  I was hanging out with Joey Avery.
[01:19:01]  Shout out to Joey.
[01:19:02]  And we were just driving.
[01:19:03]  He was like, yeah, they rerouted a bunch of water to like, we were in the valley.
[01:19:08]  And yeah, we were all driving around.
[01:19:10]  And like the valley was, and I'm not talking about like fucking Calabasas or whatever, like the mountains, the nice part.
[01:19:15]  I'm talking about like the dry ass valley, not a tree in sight, just hot as fuck, right?
[01:19:20]  And I'm like, now this is, this is not the dream that people say, like moving out here.
[01:19:24]  And he goes, he goes, yeah, this is kind of like what LA is.
[01:19:27]  And I'm like, what are you talking about?
[01:19:28]  He goes, LA is really a desert.
[01:19:30]  The reason the climate is awesome is because you're a desert that they rerouted water to so they could get all these trees, but it wasn't supposed to look like this.
[01:19:37]  They just fucked up the geology and made the perfect place, which is dry with greenery.
[01:19:43]  That doesn't exist, really.
[01:19:44]  Right.
[01:19:45]  So you have the perfect climate, and then obviously you build the institutions around it.
[01:19:49]  So then something phony like show business, it's completely in line with the culture.
[01:19:52]  It's how the city was built.
[01:19:53]  Whole city is phony.
[01:19:54]  And if, and if, yeah, wow.
[01:19:56]  And if you see like even your parents latching on to whatever's popular as a kid, you're also going to latch on to whatever's popular, where you grow up in a city that might have a little bit more counterculture.
[01:20:06]  I know it's crazy even say that because New York is like a finance place.
[01:20:09]  Like that's, I almost think of it now.
[01:20:11]  I'm like, oh, these are the banks are.
[01:20:12]  Yeah.
[01:20:13]  This is where the money is.
[01:20:13]  It is an odd mix.
[01:20:14]  But there is a fucking artist thing here, man.
[01:20:17]  Yeah.
[01:20:17]  Like it's a subculture.
[01:20:19]  And even like, like finance bros, they're called.
[01:20:24]  They're kind of like douchey.
[01:20:26]  Now, every girl that goes, oh, these finance bros is going to marry a finance bro eventually, 100%.
[01:20:31]  And they're going to be fine.
[01:20:32]  But the fact that there's even a sentiment that is like...
[01:20:36]  Oh, we don't like them.
[01:20:37]  Yeah.
[01:20:37]  Okay.
[01:20:37]  I see what you're saying.
[01:20:38]  That they're not like cool.
[01:20:41]  I see.
[01:20:41]  Now, again, I do not believe that women stand by this.
[01:20:44]  I think those exact girls are going to marry them.
[01:20:46]  Yeah.
[01:20:46]  But and probably fuck them.
[01:20:48]  They're doing fine.
[01:20:49]  All the time.
[01:20:50]  But like, even like clubs will be like, ah, there's too many finance dudes in here.
[01:20:54]  There's two.
[01:20:55]  Yeah.
[01:20:55]  Like the Lower East Side was cool and rock star.
[01:20:57]  And then it's like, oh, yeah, now it's all finance bros.
[01:21:00]  Like they speak that they're like they're Russians.
[01:21:03]  They speak about it like that.
[01:21:04]  And I wonder if that's like, there is a little like pure artist core in New York.
[01:21:10]  Or maybe I'm looking at the rose color glass.
[01:21:11]  Oh, for sure, but it's also like, I'm born and raised in LA.
[01:21:14]  I'm one of maybe 5% of my friends that even went into entertainment.
[01:21:18]  Like really, of everyone that I grew up with, you just don't see it.
[01:21:20]  So everyone that does move, once they move to LA, they feel like they're already behind where they moved to Manhattan and they're in that same culture.
[01:21:27]  They're young.
[01:21:28]  Like you can't do it.
[01:21:29]  Everybody's struggling here.
[01:21:30]  Everyone's struggling.
[01:21:30]  And if you actually feel like you have time to figure out what part of it that you like, what subculture you like, what borough, what neighborhood, like you guys get so specific of what you like and you have time to do that.
[01:21:42]  LA, it's like you learn about it from the last person who just moved there a year before you, who's already bitter and telling you this is how the industry works and blah, blah, blah.
[01:21:50]  So you're five years behind on making connections in LA.
[01:21:54]  And those connections are going to get to the place of what you want.
[01:21:56]  You don't have to do it.
[01:21:56]  Whereas New York, it's like almost like college.
[01:21:59]  Like, you're going to find your theater nerds.
[01:22:01]  You're going to find your gamer dudes.
[01:22:02]  You're going to find these little tiny collectives of people.
[01:22:06]  And you're going to feel like you're not, there's not like a ticking clock behind you a little bit.
[01:22:10]  I think you feel like you have a little time to treat it like a campus.
[01:22:13]  You said that when you came here, you were like, what did you say?
[01:22:18]  It was something about like dating.
[01:22:20]  I'm shocked.
[01:22:21]  Oh, and the best thing about dating here is age-wise, they don't treat me like a 38-year-old where in LA, I was 38.
[01:22:30]  And you've been seeing this meme go around, like 38 in the suburbs is 45, 38 in the city is 30.
[01:22:38]  Like, I truly feel that way.
[01:22:39]  Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[01:22:40]  And which is great, first of all.
[01:22:42]  But also.
[01:22:42]  It makes sense.
[01:22:43]  Like, if you're in the suburbs, you move there probably because you're married.
[01:22:46]  You're starting a family.
[01:22:47]  It's like, why are you 38 in the suburbs alone?
[01:22:50]  Yeah.
[01:22:50]  But also here, like.
[01:22:51]  You need some space.
[01:22:52]  Yeah.
[01:22:53]  Less flaking here, more open to kind of meeting and blah, blah, blah.
[01:22:58]  I don't know.
[01:22:58]  It's been good.
[01:23:00]  I always joke that New York is the only place where, like, when I was in 28 in Florida, people are like getting married.
[01:23:05]  Everyone's getting married around me.
[01:23:06]  And then you move to New York and you say 28.
[01:23:08]  And I always sort of feel quote unquote old or whatever.
[01:23:10]  And people go, you could be 32, no money, living with four roommates.
[01:23:14]  People go, you got time.
[01:23:15]  You're going to figure it out.
[01:23:16]  Like, it's the place where you sort of get time to like ease into it.
[01:23:20]  There's no rush.
[01:23:21]  Yeah.
[01:23:22]  Nobody's pressuring you.
[01:23:23]  There's a rush to figure it out, but there's no rush.
[01:23:25]  A little neverlandish.
[01:23:26]  A little bit in the sense of like, yeah.
[01:23:28]  I also think like in New York, you're coming here for what you believe to be your purpose.
[01:23:32]  Yeah.
[01:23:33]  And when you have your purpose, there's always extra time allotted to you for life's purpose, which is maybe having a family and kids.
[01:23:41]  You know, like if you're just sitting around and doing nothing and working at a job you hate and you're not even starting a family, it's like, the fuck is going on?
[01:23:48]  Like if you hate your job and you don't want to do anything, bring some children into the world.
[01:23:53]  Enjoy your life with them.
[01:23:54]  Like now you have someone to look forward to every single time you come home from your shitty job.
[01:23:58]  But if you're in a city like New York where you are dedicating fucking 14 hours a day to this dream of yours, I think people go, oh, yeah, I see why you haven't popped some kids out.
[01:24:08]  Maybe that's my justification for like where I'm at.
[01:24:10]  Everyone in New York, my favorite thing about it is even if you have the shitty job, you work at a coffee shop, they're doing stuff at night.
[01:24:17]  That's hustle as hell.
[01:24:18]  And that's their hustle.
[01:24:19]  And they go, yeah, at night, I'm a DJ.
[01:24:21]  You should come out to my thing.
[01:24:22]  And then you go and you're like, oh, they're good.
[01:24:24]  And that they're trying so hard.
[01:24:26]  But you go in the suburbs, they get home at night and they're like, all right, what's on Netflix, whatever.
[01:24:30]  And that your hustle makes your day job so much more palatable.
[01:24:35]  Like being 30 and working at the coffee shop because you're a DJ or you're a comedian.
[01:24:41]  You're a filmmaker.
[01:24:42]  It's like you're a filmmaker that has to do that on the side.
[01:24:45]  Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[01:24:46]  That's not the main thing.
[01:24:47]  And it's so much easier to do the job you hate if you know it's providing for that really cool thing that you've been working your ass off of.
[01:24:53]  Sorry, this is unrelated to what you said, but something you said.
[01:24:56]  I always wondered why people in the city, I grew up in the suburbs and I came to New York and I was like, why does nobody watch sports here?
[01:25:01]  What the fuck is that?
[01:25:02]  Like a few people do, but really they don't.
[01:25:04]  It's because in the suburbs, I come home from a job I don't like.
[01:25:08]  I want to watch TV.
[01:25:09]  I have the rest of my night.
[01:25:10]  I don't know what to do.
[01:25:11]  What's on?
[01:25:12]  Sports is always on.
[01:25:13]  Sports is always new.
[01:25:14]  Sports is always.
[01:25:15]  It's your purpose.
[01:25:16]  Yeah, it fills that void here.
[01:25:18]  And I still love sports, but here it's like at night, I got to go out.
[01:25:21]  I got to do my side hustle.
[01:25:22]  Like I do XYZ.
[01:25:24]  I don't have time to watch this shit because I don't have time to watch sports that much anymore.
[01:25:27]  I still love it from growing up in the suburbs, but I don't get to watch it like I'm doing it.
[01:25:30]  Things to do, bro.
[01:25:31]  That's what it is.
[01:25:32]  Yeah.
[01:25:32]  There's things to fucking do.
[01:25:35]  Me and Mark talked about this about.
[01:25:36]  Things to do is the worst thing for building a sports franchise.
[01:25:40]  That's why sports at college cities don't do well.
[01:25:42]  I was talking to Mark about this.
[01:25:44]  Like the larger cities.
[01:25:47]  College teams.
[01:25:47]  Yes.
[01:25:48]  Sorry, college teams.
[01:25:49]  Because we already have enough distraction.
[01:25:51]  Tuscaloosa, they're drawing 100,000 people there.
[01:25:55]  South Bend, Indiana, they're going to have 80,000 people over a school of 8,000.
[01:25:59]  Yeah.
[01:25:59]  Big city schools like New York City School, Chicago.
[01:26:02]  St. John's, NYU.
[01:26:04]  Nobody's going to the games.
[01:26:06]  Yeah, yeah.
[01:26:06]  That's true.
[01:26:07]  There's other things.
[01:26:08]  Do you want to come to our D3 NYU basketball game tonight?
[01:26:10]  Yeah.
[01:26:11]  Or do you want to blow Coke with fucking slots of gold bark?
[01:26:14]  Yeah, you want to.
[01:26:16]  I think that's an easy, I think that's an easy answer.
[01:26:19]  I will see you, St. John's.
[01:26:22]  All right, Mark.
[01:26:23]  What else we got?
[01:26:24]  Anything else?
[01:26:24]  Yeah.

=== Jack Knight Farewell (01:46) ===

[01:26:25]  Do you want to speak on the Jack Knight situation?
[01:26:27]  Yes.
[01:26:27]  Yes.
[01:26:27]  Absolutely.
[01:26:29]  R.I.P. Jack Knight.
[01:26:30]  Jack Knight was a very, very funny.
[01:26:33]  Talented kid, man.
[01:26:34]  Stand-up comedian, voice actor, writer.
[01:26:40]  Yeah, just like, I mean, I didn't know Jack too well.
[01:26:42]  Like, you know, we would say hello when we met each other.
[01:26:44]  We'd correspond on Instagram and shit.
[01:26:46]  You probably knew him a little bit.
[01:26:47]  I knew him a little better, but like we weren't super close.
[01:26:50]  Whenever we saw each other, we both just had a lot of love for each other.
[01:26:52]  I always loved this kid.
[01:26:53]  He was young.
[01:26:54]  He was 28.
[01:26:55]  And he was just so full of light, dude.
[01:26:58]  That's the only way I can describe it.
[01:26:59]  You would just see him and you'd just be like, man, this kid is just full of light.
[01:27:03]  He's so talented, so funny, so cool.
[01:27:05]  Yeah.
[01:27:05]  And again, I'm not close to him at all.
[01:27:06]  So maybe the people close to him knew that he was, you know, you know, had some demons, et cetera.
[01:27:11]  But this is one of those from the outside where it was like, this is very shocking.
[01:27:15]  And comic suicide is not very shocking because you, especially if there's like some comics out there who are constantly, you know, sad, depressed, et cetera.
[01:27:24]  You're like, okay, I could see why that happened.
[01:27:26]  But from, I did not expect this at all.
[01:27:29]  At all.
[01:27:30]  But again, I don't know him that well.
[01:27:31]  Maybe the people close to him are like, yeah, you know, he had some real, real mental issues that he was struggling with.
[01:27:37]  It was sad.
[01:27:38]  Sad for me.
[01:27:38]  So whoever was really good friends with him, to y'all.
[01:27:42]  Heart is with you.
[01:27:43]  Yeah.
[01:27:43]  Yeah.
[01:27:43]  I know.
[01:27:44]  I know Sam is close.
[01:27:45]  I know Langston is close.
[01:27:46]  Yeah, sir.
[01:27:46]  Isaiah, shouts of love to y'all.
[01:27:48]  And then love to Jack and his family.
[01:27:49]  Like, yeah, I'm going to miss that kid, man.
[01:27:51]  Yeah.
[01:27:51]  He was a fucking good kid.
[01:27:53]  Yeah, man.
[01:27:53]  R.I.P. R.I.P. Jack Knight.
[01:27:55]  Love you, buddy.
[01:27:56]  All right, guys.
[01:27:57]  Well, that was another episode of Flagrant.
[01:27:59]  Thank you guys so much for listening.
[01:28:00]  We will see you on Patreon.
[01:28:02]  Join us on Patreon this Friday.
[01:28:05]  If you're not part of the asshole army over there on Patreon, you can't join patreon.com/slash flagrant2.
[01:28:10]  Get that.
[01:28:11]  Peace.