Flagrant - Andrew Schulz & Akaash Singh - Did Will Smith Cause Dave Chappelle & Chris Rock Attack?!
Aired: 2022-05-10
Duration: 01:56:34


=== Infamous Tour Officially Over (14:31) ===

[00:00:00]  Infamous tour officially over.
[00:00:01]  None of y'all got me pussies.
[00:00:04]  You know what I'm saying?
[00:00:06]  None of y'all got me pussies.
[00:00:08]  You're gonna go back on tour.
[00:00:09]  Yeah, but all right.
[00:00:10]  We're gonna be ready.
[00:00:12]  What do you mean?
[00:00:12]  They had a hundred shows to get your boy.
[00:00:15]  You know, all those people talking shit on the internet.
[00:00:18]  Talking shit in the comments.
[00:00:19]  You had 100 shows to come on, you know.
[00:00:21]  Did nothing.
[00:00:22]  Why are you inviting this shit?
[00:00:23]  I don't want it.
[00:00:24]  Also, it don't count when I'm just popping into comedy clubs.
[00:00:28]  I don't understand that.
[00:00:29]  Okay, it's got to be at your show.
[00:00:30]  You got to slide this motherfucker at your show.
[00:00:32]  Do you know what I mean?
[00:00:33]  If I'm just working out, let me work out.
[00:00:36]  Can you imagine just going, waiting for Schultz to drop in somehow?
[00:00:40]  Every night, faithfully?
[00:00:43]  Hey, if I'm dropping in and you see me, you got that.
[00:00:46]  That's God talking.
[00:00:46]  No, no, no, no, don't, don't, don't be slapping.
[00:00:48]  I'm just fucking around.
[00:00:49]  It's wrong to hit people.
[00:00:50]  You know what I mean?
[00:00:51]  Definitely wrong to hit people on stage.
[00:00:52]  It's fucked up.
[00:00:53]  Yeah.
[00:00:54]  You know what I mean?
[00:00:55]  But that's not the funniest take.
[00:00:57]  Do you know what I mean?
[00:00:58]  That's not the funniest take.
[00:00:59]  What's the funniest take?
[00:01:00]  I don't know.
[00:01:00]  Call my shit a slideshow again.
[00:01:03]  You know what I'm saying?
[00:01:07]  I'm just saying, bro.
[00:01:08]  You know what I mean?
[00:01:09]  That's all the funniest take.
[00:01:11]  If we out here trying to be funny, it was a slideshow.
[00:01:17]  That's what it was.
[00:01:20]  Well, apparently people enjoy slideshows.
[00:01:23]  Isaiah Lee.
[00:01:28]  No, I think he was fighting it back against gentrification in his neighborhood in Brooklyn.
[00:01:32]  So he wanted to attack Dave Chappelle, who lives in Ohio.
[00:01:36]  Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[00:01:37]  That makes sense.
[00:01:37]  But Dave is gentrifying Ohio, probably.
[00:01:39]  A former Ohio.
[00:01:42]  Gentrifying the other way.
[00:01:44]  How up the other way?
[00:01:45]  You guys gentrification.
[00:01:47]  Why are you laughing?
[00:01:48]  Because I just did the original gentrification priority.
[00:01:53]  That's what that is.
[00:01:55]  What if this is like white people go there?
[00:01:58]  On the final set of the tour, you were on stage and all of us, Derek, Mark, Vala, we were downstairs taking shots, like celebratory shots.
[00:02:07]  And all I could think about is like, that was going to be the moment that someone was going to rush the stage.
[00:02:12]  And I swear to God, there was no security they would have gotten you.
[00:02:15]  And none of us were up there.
[00:02:16]  Nah, but I got that.
[00:02:17]  You think you're security?
[00:02:19]  You know how damped I am during this day.
[00:02:22]  Post in our security.
[00:02:23]  Yeah, you're not Jimmy Fox.
[00:02:24]  Post is athletic.
[00:02:25]  Posting could do some security.
[00:02:26]  You don't think Doug goes crazy?
[00:02:27]  You play DB.
[00:02:28]  I play DB.
[00:02:29]  Okay, Dove is sneaky athletic.
[00:02:31]  He's sneaky athletic.
[00:02:32]  Yeah.
[00:02:32]  I think you could tackle a motherfucker.
[00:02:34]  What are you laughing at?
[00:02:35]  I'll tap you right now.
[00:02:36]  I'll tackle you right now.
[00:02:39]  I'm not a stand-up comedian.
[00:02:41]  Come on, bro.
[00:02:41]  But do you even feel like you need security?
[00:02:43]  Like, if someone tried to start attacking you on stage, yeah.
[00:02:45]  You think you need it or do you think you got them?
[00:02:47]  No, I want security.
[00:02:48]  Someone ran up.
[00:02:49]  I want to have to get them.
[00:02:50]  At all times.
[00:02:51]  But you could, though.
[00:02:51]  You could, right?
[00:02:52]  No, I don't want to do it.
[00:02:53]  You should, yo.
[00:02:54]  Yo, it would look crazy.
[00:02:55]  That's what I'm saying.
[00:02:56]  And that shit would be up subtitled with boom power.
[00:02:59]  I should have looked like a Batman back in the day, bro, for real.
[00:03:02]  But no, I don't want that smoke.
[00:03:04]  I want to go do my jokes and enjoy my time.
[00:03:06]  It would be fire if someone from the audience tried something and then another audience member was like, not today, knocked them the fuck out, set a precedent to everybody want to show up.
[00:03:15]  Yo, yo, you guys.
[00:03:16]  You beat the shit out of these guys.
[00:03:17]  Say again?
[00:03:18]  The precedent has to be set.
[00:03:20]  Isaiah Lee got his ass beat so everybody dicks a little bit too in front of everybody.
[00:03:24]  Why would you do that?
[00:03:25]  No, you got to set a pre.
[00:03:26]  Yo, if you're going to come beat me up, you're going to get your dicks up.
[00:03:28]  Yes.
[00:03:30]  It makes sense.
[00:03:30]  It makes sense.
[00:03:31]  People are going to want to do it.
[00:03:32]  Pull down your pants.
[00:03:34]  They're going to spin your butthole, bro.
[00:03:35]  That's insensitive.
[00:03:35]  They're going to spin your butthole.
[00:03:36]  Hey, if you come in on stage, we put cocoa water in your butthole and it might get fucked up.
[00:03:40]  This all sounds good.
[00:03:41]  Cocoa water.
[00:03:42]  Cocoa water, bro.
[00:03:44]  Coconut water in that cocoa water too.
[00:03:46]  Cocoa butter, so I'm going to go.
[00:03:47]  Cocoa butter, cocoa butter, cocoa water, all that.
[00:03:50]  You're getting cocoa, bro.
[00:03:51]  That shit will make you cry.
[00:03:52]  We're going to talk.
[00:03:55]  But for real, we have to set a precedent.
[00:03:57]  I think with the whole Dave Chappelle shit, the fact that they're saying that he's not going to get charged with a felony.
[00:04:01]  I know Dove has opinions about this.
[00:04:05]  Oh, Los Angeles is going to shit.
[00:04:07]  I've been telling you this for a fucking year.
[00:04:10]  Did you just agree with me and insult yourself?
[00:04:17]  He did his own voice.
[00:04:18]  He did his own voice.
[00:04:20]  I didn't agree.
[00:04:21]  Is that what I sound like?
[00:04:23]  Dang it.
[00:04:24]  You're so much more bass in my voice when I'm talking about something.
[00:04:28]  Wait, but why isn't he getting charged with a felony?
[00:04:30]  Is there a reason?
[00:04:31]  He attacked a guy with a weapon.
[00:04:32]  They're saying because the weapon was in his pocket, so they can't prove intent that he was going to use that fake gun with a knife at the top to actually do something.
[00:04:40]  And so in LA, you have the district attorney that really handles the prosecutors, that piece of fucking garbage.
[00:04:45]  Gascon, anyone from California, LA, you better vote to recall that piece of shit.
[00:04:50]  And then, so anyway, if he's not going to charge them for a felony, they refer it down.
[00:04:56]  Take it up in the polls.
[00:04:58]  Yeah.
[00:04:59]  No, they really mean vote for change.
[00:05:05]  Come on, the only way to get him out or do violence, which I'm not going to say that.
[00:05:12]  Are you saying that someone should be violent towards Gascon?
[00:05:14]  Are you saying that?
[00:05:16]  I'm not saying that.
[00:05:17]  Are you saying that?
[00:05:18]  Would you tackle him?
[00:05:18]  If he was given a speech, would you tackle him?
[00:05:20]  Would you say intent of a move towards cocoa on his butt?
[00:05:25]  Yeah.
[00:05:26]  Would you throw some cocoa on his butt?
[00:05:28]  Yeah, Call the elevator.
[00:05:34]  Recall that piece of shit.
[00:05:35]  Anyway, so they referred it down to the city attorney who handles the misdemeanors and other bullshit.
[00:05:40]  That guy's a piece of shit, too.
[00:05:42]  Okay.
[00:05:42]  Anyway, why are you so politically active today?
[00:05:45]  I love it, yo.
[00:05:46]  Oh, this one.
[00:05:46]  I'll die on a fucking hill for this one.
[00:05:48]  What happened?
[00:05:49]  This is the one.
[00:05:50]  Don't mean shit.
[00:05:51]  It's disgusting.
[00:05:52]  He wants to make it.
[00:05:53]  He said he'll die on a hill for this one.
[00:05:55]  What happened?
[00:05:56]  Yeah.
[00:05:56]  Did they not like pick up your garbage or something?
[00:05:58]  Like, what's up?
[00:05:59]  You guys don't see the news in LA?
[00:06:00]  No, I understand.
[00:06:02]  We're from New York.
[00:06:03]  We don't care about no other city, bro.
[00:06:04]  He wants to say that.
[00:06:05]  No, this city matters to us.
[00:06:06]  Make LA great again.
[00:06:07]  That's Dove.
[00:06:08]  Yeah, he does.
[00:06:09]  Yeah.
[00:06:10]  I'm not going to lie.
[00:06:11]  I'm not going back.
[00:06:12]  My neighborhood, it's a lot of ruffians in my neighborhood, bro.
[00:06:15]  Soho, New York?
[00:06:17]  Oh.
[00:06:20]  It's a lot of ruffians, bro.
[00:06:21]  What are you talking about?
[00:06:22]  It's a lot of ruffians.
[00:06:24]  It's chicks with no eyebrows.
[00:06:25]  Wearing like flare pants.
[00:06:26]  There's a lot of ruffians out there, bro.
[00:06:30]  They out there.
[00:06:31]  They're trying to get their clothes and shit.
[00:06:33]  It's rough out here, bro.
[00:06:35]  Momming outside the espresso store.
[00:06:37]  Yeah.
[00:06:40]  Who's our guy?
[00:06:40]  Who's our Gascon?
[00:06:41]  You don't care.
[00:06:42]  He don't know.
[00:06:42]  I don't care.
[00:06:43]  He don't know.
[00:06:44]  We got a lot of family in L.A.
[00:06:46]  And we're going back to L.A. Doug's whole plan is just to get us out of New York.
[00:06:49]  Why not go back to LA?
[00:06:50]  Motherfucker talking all that shit about LA.
[00:06:52]  Change.
[00:06:52]  We're going to make change.
[00:06:54]  Change what we're going to do.
[00:06:56]  Yo, yo, yo.
[00:06:57]  This is the beginning of Andrew's political ascension.
[00:06:59]  This is it, right?
[00:07:00]  You go save L.A. You go save L.A.
[00:07:02]  Oh, yeah, that's it right there.
[00:07:04]  No, we're also not doing the politics shit.
[00:07:07]  That's pay cuts for everybody.
[00:07:08]  Yeah, that's true.
[00:07:09]  No, no, keep doing your thing.
[00:07:10]  That's true.
[00:07:10]  Keep going.
[00:07:11]  Back to the Chappelle thing.
[00:07:12]  What do y'all think?
[00:07:13]  Yo, I think comedians need to carry guns on stage.
[00:07:16]  Really?
[00:07:16]  Real talk.
[00:07:17]  That way, if you're bombing, you could just kill yourself.
[00:07:23]  That's a good point.
[00:07:24]  That's good.
[00:07:25]  Yo, comedians never kill themselves on stage.
[00:07:27]  Nah.
[00:07:28]  But they do kill themselves.
[00:07:30]  Yeah.
[00:07:30]  Pussies.
[00:07:31]  Yeah.
[00:07:32]  Like, go with a ball.
[00:07:33]  Yay, bro.
[00:07:34]  Memorable set, right, though?
[00:07:36]  Just one.
[00:07:37]  Come on, yo.
[00:07:38]  Fucking commit to something.
[00:07:40]  I'm just saying.
[00:07:41]  Alone in your hotel room.
[00:07:43]  Oh, there was one comedian that killed himself on stage.
[00:07:45]  Who?
[00:07:46]  Bro, this headline is crazy.
[00:07:48]  Unwitting audience member claps and cheers as teenager stabs himself to death on stage at an open night night.
[00:07:55]  Come on.
[00:07:55]  Have an open mic, though.
[00:07:57]  And an open mic.
[00:07:58]  Who kills himself at an open mic?
[00:08:00]  This guy, I won't say his name.
[00:08:02]  Yeah.
[00:08:03]  I mean, he was going to kill himself regardless.
[00:08:05]  Like, I don't think comedy took him out.
[00:08:07]  They mistakenly believed it was a piece of performance art.
[00:08:13]  Why are y'all laughing?
[00:08:16]  That's not funny.
[00:08:17]  That's not fun.
[00:08:18]  Nobody killed him.
[00:08:19]  He killed himself.
[00:08:20]  I mean, that's a little crazy.
[00:08:21]  A couple people were like, finally, something to laugh at at this open mic.
[00:08:26]  Bro, I don't know how to process this shit.
[00:08:28]  I got so much alpha brain going through my system right now.
[00:08:31]  Like, I don't know to be happy or sad.
[00:08:32]  I think how shitty the rest of the sets were.
[00:08:35]  And you saw God kill yourself and you were like, finally.
[00:08:38]  Yeah.
[00:08:39]  Something to fucking care about.
[00:08:41]  Oh, my God.
[00:08:42]  I'm the only person.
[00:08:44]  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
[00:08:46]  Oh, my God, dude.
[00:08:47]  I'm riding with you on it.
[00:08:48]  But I like that you described it because we didn't know what was happening until you did that.
[00:08:56]  And after knowing, that shit just felt even more uncomfortable.
[00:09:01]  Hey, this guy saved himself a lifetime of open mics, man.
[00:09:03]  He came out ahead.
[00:09:04]  Yeah, that's true, bro.
[00:09:06]  That's true, man.
[00:09:07]  Stabbing himself.
[00:09:08]  Stabbing himself is that's a way to go.
[00:09:10]  It takes commitment, yo.
[00:09:11]  Hell yeah.
[00:09:11]  You probably do it multiple times.
[00:09:13]  This guy could have made it, to be honest with you.
[00:09:15]  Yeah, one stab isn't going to get it done.
[00:09:17]  Yeah, over and over.
[00:09:19]  I mean, the greatest part of the whole thing is that Jamie Foxx just stomped him and then went off stage and did a perfect Chappelle impression.
[00:09:25]  Bro.
[00:09:25]  Like, all in the same day.
[00:09:26]  Yo, his Chappelle.
[00:09:27]  Jamie Fox is the most talented entertainer in the world.
[00:09:30]  He's perfect.
[00:09:31]  He's fucking perfect.
[00:09:32]  Yeah.
[00:09:32]  Look, can we watch this?
[00:09:33]  Look at this.
[00:09:36]  Thank you for Jamie Foxx.
[00:09:38]  If you're ever in trouble, if you're ever in trouble, Jamie Foxx will show up on the sheriff.
[00:09:43]  All the other comedians just stood there.
[00:09:44]  They're waiting on me to die.
[00:09:47]  Wait, take over.
[00:09:48]  I'll see you, Chris Rock.
[00:09:50]  It'll never happen.
[00:09:53]  And it's funny.
[00:09:54]  Bro, he's amazing.
[00:09:56]  He's perfect.
[00:09:57]  He's truly amazing.
[00:09:58]  Sing, act, play piano.
[00:10:00]  Like classically trained pianist.
[00:10:02]  Hilarious, good impressions, and he'll beat your ass.
[00:10:04]  Yeah.
[00:10:05]  This guy's perfect.
[00:10:06]  No, no, he's he's just he's the most talented entertainer.
[00:10:08]  Most talented human being on earth, mate.
[00:10:10]  Yeah, yeah.
[00:10:11]  Well, let's, you know.
[00:10:14]  Elon Musk is pretty talented.
[00:10:17]  Yeah, yeah.
[00:10:17]  Elon Musk doesn't have impressions, though.
[00:10:19]  He doesn't have any impressions.
[00:10:20]  You know that he could do like a lamp.
[00:10:26]  That's pretty good.
[00:10:26]  Is that Elon Musk?
[00:10:27]  I remember Elon Musk being a lamp.
[00:10:29]  I like that.
[00:10:30]  No, I think, yeah, just in terms of entertainment, though, it's unbelievable.
[00:10:34]  Like, he's underappreciated.
[00:10:35]  I think Jamie Foxx is underappreciated.
[00:10:37]  Truly.
[00:10:38]  Truly.
[00:10:38]  We need to get Jamie on the pod.
[00:10:40]  Yeah.
[00:10:40]  That'd be fun.
[00:10:41]  Also, he could roast.
[00:10:42]  Oh, he can roast his ass off.
[00:10:43]  There's a great episode of when he did the foxhole.
[00:10:45]  I think it was like a Sirius XM show when Kevin comes on and Kevin Hart can roast.
[00:10:49]  Kevin can fucking roam.
[00:10:50]  They went back and forth.
[00:10:51]  Yeah.
[00:10:51]  Like they were going back and forth to one another.
[00:10:53]  And I'm like, wow, like you haven't been doing stand-up.
[00:10:58]  You haven't really just been out here.
[00:11:00]  And you're competing with the guy who's number one at the time, like selling out these arenas.
[00:11:04]  And they're just boom, boom, boom.
[00:11:07]  Yeah.
[00:11:07]  Lightning quick.
[00:11:08]  Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[00:11:09]  He's a beast.
[00:11:09]  I mean, bro, do you remember when he got into the roast with that dude?
[00:11:13]  Oh, oh, this is your conscience.
[00:11:15]  This is your conscience.
[00:11:16]  Historic, bro.
[00:11:18]  Yeah.
[00:11:18]  Can we play that without him?
[00:11:19]  Brutal.
[00:11:20]  Yeah.
[00:11:21]  Brutal.
[00:11:21]  Do you want to say that?
[00:11:22]  I feel so bad for Doug Williams.
[00:11:25]  Honestly, this is more depressing than the person killing themselves on stage.
[00:11:29]  Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[00:11:30]  Like, you know what I'm saying?
[00:11:31]  Like, this makes me more sad.
[00:11:32]  So they're all roasting.
[00:11:33]  Who is it?
[00:11:34]  Shadow.
[00:11:35]  Yeah.
[00:11:35]  And Doug Williams is a stand-up comic.
[00:11:38]  Jamie's hosting the roast.
[00:11:39]  Yeah.
[00:11:40]  And Doug's not doing that great.
[00:11:41]  He's not.
[00:11:42]  And then Jamie's mic is left on.
[00:11:44]  Now he's sitting down on the dais, but his mic is left on.
[00:11:47]  And then this happens.
[00:11:50]  Hey, it's Miles.
[00:11:51]  We got copyright claimed for that video.
[00:11:53]  Bro.
[00:11:54]  Then he got to hug him.
[00:11:55]  Bro.
[00:11:56]  Oh, he hugged him.
[00:11:57]  Because you have to pretend you're a good sport.
[00:11:59]  Because you just got beat at comedy and you're a comedian.
[00:12:02]  Oh, fuck, dog.
[00:12:05]  Fuck.
[00:12:06]  How do you get out of that?
[00:12:07]  If you're Doug, what do you do?
[00:12:09]  You got to have an absolute haymaker.
[00:12:11]  Yeah, you got to have something in the damn thing.
[00:12:13]  And it's got to be like cutting.
[00:12:15]  It's like, what is the deepest, darkest insecurity that Jamie has that everybody's aware of?
[00:12:20]  And it has to be said immediately.
[00:12:23]  And if it's not that, you have to make up a lie.
[00:12:25]  Yeah, yeah.
[00:12:26]  You know what I mean?
[00:12:27]  Like, yeah, why did your conscience tell you not to sleep with them little girls?
[00:12:31]  Just say that.
[00:12:32]  And then just the audience, like, what?
[00:12:34]  Oh, y'all don't know.
[00:12:36]  Oh, damn, they really covered that up.
[00:12:38]  He was like, he was doing good.
[00:12:39]  But then Jamie got to beat your ass and he can fight.
[00:12:42]  I mean, and then he'll sing after he knocked you out.
[00:12:46]  You're back against the rules.
[00:12:47]  You got to go.
[00:12:48]  And if he puts his hands on you, you'd be like, man, why are you acting like I'm a little girl?
[00:12:51]  Like, if you just got to say something that is so crazy and outlandish and act like it's serious, I mean, burn the whole thing down.
[00:12:58]  You have to burn the whole thing down.
[00:13:00]  The whole thing needs to be burnt out.
[00:13:01]  This went viral before YouTube.
[00:13:04]  Motherfucking 1998 or whatever.
[00:13:06]  People were like showing it on a VHS tape.
[00:13:09]  Yeah, this is crazy.
[00:13:10]  Yeah.
[00:13:11]  This is crazy.
[00:13:11]  Jamie ended his career.
[00:13:13]  Sometimes I've never heard of it.
[00:13:15]  100%.
[00:13:15]  Yeah, yeah.
[00:13:16]  Yeah, to be fair, he didn't come with any jokes at all.
[00:13:19]  He was not prepared.
[00:13:20]  He's at a roast and he's just, then he started doing a bit.
[00:13:22]  Big women, that's just a bit you just threw into the roast.
[00:13:26]  You have no roast jokes.
[00:13:27]  Shaq, you're too big for your car.
[00:13:28]  All right.
[00:13:29]  It's possible he didn't even know what the fuck a roast was.
[00:13:32]  Oh, that's I'm giving him the benefit of the doubt.
[00:13:34]  And then he went up and he saw people actually doing jokes.
[00:13:36]  He was like, uh-oh.
[00:13:37]  Yeah.
[00:13:38]  Because he had a paper there.
[00:13:39]  But the paper surely didn't just say, your big toes hurt because you're in a car that's too little.
[00:13:46]  Right?
[00:13:47]  Like, Doug.
[00:13:49]  Yeah, brutal.
[00:13:50]  Bro.
[00:13:51]  But Jamie saved the show.
[00:13:53]  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
[00:13:55]  He saved the set for sure.
[00:13:56]  Yeah.
[00:13:57]  Nobody would remember an Emmett Smith roast ever if it's not for that.
[00:13:59]  He didn't know it was Emmett Smith.
[00:14:01]  Isn't that crazy?
[00:14:02]  Yeah.
[00:14:02]  He thought it was Shaq because the joke was about Shaq.
[00:14:04]  It was a Doug Williams roast.
[00:14:06]  It was the roast of Doug Williams.
[00:14:08]  Oh, yeah, yeah.
[00:14:09]  I think he had a half hour in Comedy Central.
[00:14:11]  Oh, really?
[00:14:12]  I think so.
[00:14:13]  I know I've seen his name, and I remember seeing him in LA.
[00:14:15]  I didn't actually watch the set, but I was like, oh, he's going to be at this spot headline or whatever.
[00:14:19]  I wonder if he ever spoke to Jamie about that again.
[00:14:21]  Oh, he must have.
[00:14:22]  Because he might be a great comic.
[00:14:23]  I have no idea.
[00:14:24]  I've never seen him.
[00:14:24]  But roasting is just a different thing.
[00:14:26]  And if you're not prepped for it, yeah, that just might not be for you.
[00:14:29]  Yeah.
[00:14:30]  And Jamie let him know.

=== Jamie Saves The Show (15:05) ===

[00:14:32]  I mean, but just he's raw talent.
[00:14:34]  It's unbelievable.
[00:14:35]  Yeah.
[00:14:36]  Any environment.
[00:14:38]  Any environment.
[00:14:39]  He'll go to parties and just go out and grab the mic with a DJ and just like MC and like will comment on like celebrities in the crowd.
[00:14:46]  Like he just turns up everything.
[00:14:48]  We saw him in Vegas sometime.
[00:14:50]  I don't know if we were together, but he was just hosting the thing.
[00:14:53]  And like, I'm like, how is he going to do this?
[00:14:55]  He's just going to chill in a booth and do whatever.
[00:14:58]  He's up there singing his songs over them being played, singing other people's songs, making jokes.
[00:15:07]  He's truly earning the money that they're paying.
[00:15:10]  There's a lot of celebs that just go, they're there, and then they leave so that other people go, hey, we were there at the same place.
[00:15:16]  He was the life of the fucking party, bro.
[00:15:18]  Yeah.
[00:15:19]  I mean.
[00:15:20]  He could have been just raw talent, one of the greatest comics ever if he just wanted to do comedy, but he can't just do comedy.
[00:15:26]  He's too good at everything.
[00:15:27]  You know what I mean?
[00:15:28]  Like, why would I just do comedy?
[00:15:29]  Let me just do everything.
[00:15:31]  He has nine films coming out that are in either shooting or in post-production.
[00:15:37]  Thank you.
[00:15:38]  You're welcome, Al.
[00:15:40]  Damn, damn, Ali.
[00:15:45]  You don't like Jamie Foxx?
[00:15:46]  I love Jamie Foxx.
[00:15:47]  Yo, Al.
[00:15:49]  Alpha's gonna be awesome.
[00:15:50]  That's what Joe kills him.
[00:15:51]  He cares about this.
[00:15:56]  I just had another entertainment fact that nobody cared about.
[00:16:04]  I better cuss it to Andrew.
[00:16:08]  Yo, I feel like Doug Williams right now.
[00:16:11]  You're dope.
[00:16:11]  You know what to do.
[00:16:21]  Why are you saying it?
[00:16:24]  Just see if it works and throw it out there.
[00:16:27]  Are you guys all liking little kids?
[00:16:28]  Oh, that was the best.
[00:16:31]  I'm trying to tell you.
[00:16:32]  He makes fun of you the most.
[00:16:33]  Think about it.
[00:16:35]  I never did that.
[00:16:35]  I'm numb.
[00:16:36]  I'm numb to this.
[00:16:37]  Yeah, he's numb.
[00:16:38]  You know what I mean?
[00:16:39]  Finish it.
[00:16:41]  Finish it.
[00:16:43]  I can't say it.
[00:16:45]  Guys, come on, Kevin Samuels.
[00:16:49]  Come on, dude.
[00:16:51]  Come on.
[00:16:52]  What do you think Kevin Samuels conscious was saying when he was passing away?
[00:16:57]  What do you think?
[00:16:58]  Don't speak ill.
[00:16:59]  How did he die?
[00:17:00]  I don't know.
[00:17:00]  Do we know?
[00:17:01]  How old was he?
[00:17:01]  Heart attack.
[00:17:02]  56.
[00:17:02]  He was great.
[00:17:04]  That's so surprising.
[00:17:05]  So, and then what was the deal?
[00:17:07]  He was like with a girl or something like that?
[00:17:08]  Yeah.
[00:17:09]  So he had a girl come over his crib.
[00:17:12]  She slept over.
[00:17:13]  And then the morning of somehow he caught a heart attack.
[00:17:17]  Somehow.
[00:17:18]  What do you think the somehow is?
[00:17:20]  I think he was knee-deep in some pussy.
[00:17:23]  Died in the pussy.
[00:17:24]  Dude, that's a fucking nuts.
[00:17:26]  That's so poetic, though, right?
[00:17:28]  That's so poetic.
[00:17:29]  He just trashes women his whole life, his whole career, just like shitting on women.
[00:17:33]  And then pussy took him out.
[00:17:34]  Yeah.
[00:17:35]  Couldn't handle a little pussy.
[00:17:37]  Couldn't handle a little bit of pussy.
[00:17:39]  Full circle.
[00:17:40]  What do you think she was, the girl?
[00:17:41]  Like, if we had to rank her.
[00:17:43]  I know she was a nurse.
[00:17:45]  She was a nurse?
[00:17:46]  Not that good one.
[00:17:46]  Yeah, come on.
[00:17:50]  That's just your shot.
[00:17:52]  Is there any nurse here?
[00:17:53]  Oh, leave a life.
[00:17:54]  No claps for her, bro.
[00:17:57]  Get the fuck out of here.
[00:17:58]  So died in a pussy that morning.
[00:18:01]  And do we know what she looks like?
[00:18:02]  Because we got to see.
[00:18:03]  Nah.
[00:18:04]  Because if she's under a seven, right?
[00:18:06]  Rank yourself one to ten.
[00:18:07]  You can't say seven.
[00:18:09]  If she's six, five, then like what saying, bro?
[00:18:16]  What are you saying?
[00:18:18]  What was Kev talking about?
[00:18:19]  Right?
[00:18:20]  Like, what was he talking about?
[00:18:23]  Oh, shit.
[00:18:24]  Yeah, no, she's hot.
[00:18:25]  She's hot.
[00:18:28]  He practiced what he preached.
[00:18:29]  You know what I mean?
[00:18:30]  There we go.
[00:18:32]  So all these big girls were so happy that he died, huh?
[00:18:34]  Yeah.
[00:18:35]  Really?
[00:18:35]  Yeah, it was kind of fucked up.
[00:18:36]  What were they saying?
[00:18:37]  No, just people like not celebrating that he's dead, but like good written.
[00:18:42]  Yeah.
[00:18:42]  He wasn't good to be.
[00:18:44]  Like his message wasn't good to go out there.
[00:18:46]  And then what was his message?
[00:18:48]  His message was essentially like be realistic.
[00:18:50]  Yes.
[00:18:51]  And then he would also tell dudes to be realistic.
[00:18:53]  Yes.
[00:18:54]  Yeah.
[00:18:54]  I didn't think his shit was like crazy, crazy.
[00:18:56]  And also, the women are submitting themselves to it, right?
[00:18:58]  It's not like he's like going out in the street videotaping.
[00:19:01]  He's not doing like Alley G type shit.
[00:19:03]  Like women are signing up to be ranked on the show because they want to be ranked.
[00:19:07]  So everything is done consensually.
[00:19:10]  And then he would also do it to dudes because I've seen him like shoot on some dudes.
[00:19:17]  But I guess there is just a lot more guys on the internet that can't wait to hear a dude say that women suck.
[00:19:23]  It seems like there's some people that you're like, you're a comedian, you just don't do comedy.
[00:19:28]  Yeah.
[00:19:28]  One of them.
[00:19:29]  And I would put him in that box.
[00:19:30]  That's how I viewed him.
[00:19:31]  I was like, oh, you're a comedian.
[00:19:32]  You just don't have the guts or whatever to go on stage and actually do it.
[00:19:36]  So you're here.
[00:19:37]  And that's not a knock, but I think it makes it, you're much less likable if you're doing that.
[00:19:42]  How's this one clip where he was having a girl describe herself?
[00:19:46]  Yeah.
[00:19:46]  And he's like, he's like, how tall are you?
[00:19:49]  He's like, I'm 5'9.
[00:19:51]  And then, how much do you weigh?
[00:19:53]  She goes, I weigh 195 pounds.
[00:19:55]  He goes, oh, you're a running back.
[00:19:58]  Oh, you're a tailback.
[00:19:59]  You're used to going up the middle?
[00:20:00]  Like, we need to be realistic.
[00:20:03]  Hut, hut, hut, shit.
[00:20:04]  Like, if I said, hut, hut, do you get in formation?
[00:20:06]  Like, what?
[00:20:07]  Bro, he starts killing this bitch, bro.
[00:20:10]  It was crazy.
[00:20:11]  But she was one of these girls that maybe had these unrealistic standards.
[00:20:15]  Yeah.
[00:20:15]  Yeah.
[00:20:16]  And I guess he felt it was up to him to make people realize their standards are unrealistic.
[00:20:22]  I don't know.
[00:20:23]  I think it was just the way in which he said, gave his advice was like, what was so bad.
[00:20:30]  I mean, undeniably funny.
[00:20:31]  Has my mind going crazy?
[00:20:34]  Yeah, I told him.
[00:20:35]  That's what I was feeling earlier.
[00:20:36]  God damn it.
[00:20:37]  What were we talking about earlier?
[00:20:38]  I completely forgot.
[00:20:38]  Oh, Dave Chappelle on the stage.
[00:20:40]  Yeah.
[00:20:40]  Yeah.
[00:20:42]  You guys good?
[00:20:43]  No, we just had that alpha brain.
[00:20:45]  I'm ready to go, dude.
[00:20:46]  I'm locked in.
[00:20:47]  Okay, good.
[00:20:48]  I'm fucking locked in, dude.
[00:20:51]  I feel fine.
[00:20:51]  You feel fine?
[00:20:52]  Yeah.
[00:20:52]  I feel fine.
[00:20:53]  Y'all are drug addicts, though.
[00:20:55]  Yeah.
[00:20:56]  You guys are drug addicts.
[00:20:58]  We're just going to do in this episode what Doug feel me, dude.
[00:21:03]  You're a drug addict.
[00:21:04]  Oh, gosh, you're a drug addict.
[00:21:05]  That's fair.
[00:21:06]  At least I'm not no bitch.
[00:21:07]  Can't handle two alpha brains.
[00:21:10]  Whoa, dude.
[00:21:11]  That was like Kevin Samuels, hey, be realistic, dog.
[00:21:15]  Yeah, I need to be more realistic.
[00:21:16]  A high-valued man.
[00:21:18]  Yeah.
[00:21:19]  I'm a 10, yo.
[00:21:21]  Yo, speaking of real G shit, you see Drake Drake go at this dude.
[00:21:25]  I just motherfucker say this 5'8 motherfucker saying you belt like that complaining about Kevin Samuels.
[00:21:32]  Like, what did I do?
[00:21:34]  Full back-bodied motherfucker telling me I'm not a 10.
[00:21:39]  I'm a dime.
[00:21:40]  Continue.
[00:21:41]  Why did Drake slide in this girl's DMs after one of his haters was commenting on his father?
[00:21:44]  There you go.
[00:21:45]  Because he's amazing.
[00:21:46]  What a fucking move.
[00:21:48]  I love this era of Drake where he's drunk tweeting, like drunk Instagramming.
[00:21:55]  Like he's already solidified.
[00:21:57]  There's nothing else that could happen to him.
[00:21:59]  Like he's Hall of Fame, this generation's GOAT.
[00:22:03]  In the future, the kids that grew up with Drake will only know Drake.
[00:22:06]  They won't recognize Jay-Z in the way that he didn't recognize Grandmaster Flasher whoever the fuck it was.
[00:22:13]  And they have a strong case.
[00:22:15]  What do you mean?
[00:22:16]  He has the greatest ever, ever, not this generation's.
[00:22:19]  Yeah, they're not even being unrealistic at all.
[00:22:22]  100%.
[00:22:22]  So it's like he could do whatever the fuck he wants.
[00:22:25]  And he's deciding to have fun, bro.
[00:22:27]  Yeah.
[00:22:27]  My man is just having fun.
[00:22:29]  Kentucky Derby.
[00:22:30]  I think Drake.
[00:22:31]  He's drunk out of his mind.
[00:22:32]  I think part of Drake's genius is he never had a persona to keep up.
[00:22:35]  We knew him as the wheelchair kid.
[00:22:37]  So he didn't have to be a thug.
[00:22:39]  He could just be Drake.
[00:22:41]  And he could just be kind of goofy at times, kind of fucking ruthless at times.
[00:22:44]  The music was vulnerable.
[00:22:47]  He wasn't putting on airs.
[00:22:48]  Like he was being that emotional dude.
[00:22:50]  So now when he's just having fun, we're like, oh, yeah, you're not going to be a tough guy having fun.
[00:22:53]  You're an emotional dude that's having fun.
[00:22:55]  That's also kind of like a savage and smashing everybody's girl if he wants to.
[00:22:59]  And yeah, this is just a great time.
[00:23:02]  I want you drunk on the internet.
[00:23:03]  I want you losing half a million dollars on a UFC fight.
[00:23:06]  Yeah.
[00:23:07]  Even if it's, you know, part of the sponsorship or whatever.
[00:23:11]  But still, like, I like Reckless Drake.
[00:23:13]  Yeah.
[00:23:13]  Yeah.
[00:23:14]  It's fun.
[00:23:14]  Reckless Drake is awesome.
[00:23:16]  Slide into this dude's girls' DMs.
[00:23:18]  Basically, the guy commented on Instagram and said, your son probably play with ghostwriters.
[00:23:22]  And it was some, Drake had some tweet about like him as a dad at his son's basketball games and how much he's going to OD.
[00:23:29]  Like one of those crazy dads.
[00:23:30]  And then Drake just responds and says, I just followed your girl because she probably is miserable and needs some excitement in her life.
[00:23:36]  And then DM'd her and said, I'm here for you, ma.
[00:23:39]  Savage.
[00:23:40]  I mean, that is funny.
[00:23:41]  And he screenshot it.
[00:23:42]  Yeah.
[00:23:42]  Unreal.
[00:23:43]  That's fire.
[00:23:44]  And apparently the girl is like a huge Drake fan.
[00:23:47]  Of course she is.
[00:23:48]  She's a good girl.
[00:23:49]  Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[00:23:50]  Oh, dude, the girl posts that to her.
[00:23:52]  That is fucking wild, Joe.
[00:23:54]  So, what are y'all doing in that moment?
[00:23:55]  Oh, we're done.
[00:23:56]  You're done.
[00:23:56]  You're breaking up with the girl immediately.
[00:23:57]  Absolutely.
[00:23:58]  Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[00:23:58]  You don't think it's funny?
[00:23:59]  Yeah, Because it's not real, real.
[00:24:01]  Like, I don't think Drake is real.
[00:24:02]  At the very least, your phone is getting fucking thrown in the sink and then I'm putting it on the disposal.
[00:24:06]  At the very least, at the very least, put it up, and then I'm gonna go.
[00:24:10]  And I'm not inviting you anyway.
[00:24:13]  I hope you backed it up on the cloud.
[00:24:18]  Yeah, I don't know.
[00:24:19]  It's like, yeah, I don't think.
[00:24:21]  I mean, yeah, it makes you look foolish, but also you're like, you're not like a public persona that has a reputation to uphold.
[00:24:28]  Like, you're just a dude.
[00:24:30]  You got a job.
[00:24:31]  Like, this is the most exciting thing that's happened in your life and your girl's life.
[00:24:35]  You guys could both in cahoots play along with it.
[00:24:37]  Like, yo, it is kind of funny.
[00:24:38]  I'll repost it.
[00:24:39]  You act all upset.
[00:24:40]  We'll create some kind of cool drama.
[00:24:41]  We'll have our little 15 minutes of fame, everybody talking to us, and then it's over.
[00:24:45]  I don't know if it's that crazy.
[00:24:48]  WWDD, what would Drake do?
[00:24:49]  You would repost it if you wanted to win and be like, oh my God, Drake just DM my wife.
[00:24:53]  This is so great.
[00:24:54]  Like, you act like this is so cool, also.
[00:24:56]  Yeah.
[00:24:57]  And then it's just a big joke to you that way.
[00:24:58]  You take the fucking venom out of it.
[00:25:00]  Or you like threaten them even more.
[00:25:02]  Like, you keep trying to instigate.
[00:25:03]  Okay.
[00:25:04]  Okay.
[00:25:04]  I swear if you DM my wife again, I'm going to fuck you up and try to get him to DM as many times as possible.
[00:25:10]  Yeah, it's just a fun.
[00:25:11]  I don't know.
[00:25:11]  Like, again, I don't know their relationship.
[00:25:14]  If they have a really solid relationship, I don't think it's that big a deal.
[00:25:17]  If it's on the edge, and it's also different because we're public figures.
[00:25:21]  It's like super embarrassing.
[00:25:22]  Right.
[00:25:23]  If our girl does that shit.
[00:25:24]  Yeah.
[00:25:24]  You know, but for him, it's like the greatest validation he's ever had.
[00:25:27]  But it's embarrassing to the 200 people that follow him.
[00:25:30]  That's his whole fucking life.
[00:25:32]  His whole friends are his whole life is in shambles because everybody knows him.
[00:25:36]  Yeah.
[00:25:36]  You know what I mean?
[00:25:37]  Everybody that follows him knows him.
[00:25:38]  Yeah.
[00:25:39]  And I think everybody says, I think the more embarrassing part is that people see that you're just like hating Andre.
[00:25:45]  Yeah, you're a married man just like leaving hate comments.
[00:25:48]  That's kind of crazy.
[00:25:50]  I don't fault Drake for that.
[00:25:52]  Fuck you.
[00:25:52]  Like, who are you?
[00:25:53]  Yeah.
[00:25:53]  It's not some random guy.
[00:25:55]  Yeah.
[00:25:55]  He was just like calling Drake out for no reason.
[00:25:57]  Guaranteed he was saucy for that.
[00:26:00]  Guaranteed he was saucy for that.
[00:26:02]  Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[00:26:02]  Just get because that's the only time I'll respond.
[00:26:04]  I'll think about responding.
[00:26:06]  The only time I'll think about responding is if I'm a little saucy and I'm like, if I got two happy spritz in the tank, bro, you might get him.
[00:26:15]  You might get a mention, bro.
[00:26:17]  You really might get a mention.
[00:26:18]  You might get a response publicly.
[00:26:19]  I might DM back.
[00:26:20]  Fuck you.
[00:26:23]  It just might happen, bro.
[00:26:25]  I feel that.
[00:26:25]  Oh, man.
[00:26:26]  It's the only time I tweet.
[00:26:27]  I mean, kind of legendary.
[00:26:28]  And then Drake just goes to Kentucky Derby, shuts it all down.
[00:26:30]  Has that ever happened before?
[00:26:32]  What?
[00:26:32]  Like, rappers just go to the Kentucky Derby and just become the thing?
[00:26:35]  Bro, it was amazing to see.
[00:26:37]  You sent me the video where they're all chanting Drewski.
[00:26:40]  Bro.
[00:26:40]  Yeah.
[00:26:40]  So the whitest of white people are looking at Drake, Jack Carlo, and Jack Carlo's from Kentucky, so it makes sense.
[00:26:47]  But Drewski, I didn't realize how big Drewski was until that moment.
[00:26:51]  Yeah.
[00:26:52]  I thought Drewski was like an internet sensation within hip-hop and black people, and I didn't think white people knew anything about it.
[00:26:58]  And also, like, culturally, the things he's talking about, they're not very relatable to like a lot of white people.
[00:27:02]  You wouldn't think white folks in Kentucky would know.
[00:27:04]  Like, he'll have videos of like someone fresh out of jail and how they act.
[00:27:07]  It's like, none of my white friends know what the fuck that is.
[00:27:10]  But then he does other videos of like him being like a valley girl, like, ah, my Starbucks.
[00:27:15]  I'm like, I need box.
[00:27:16]  Or just like making fun of some guy on live would have been records.
[00:27:19]  Like, anyone can watch that and be like, oh, that's funny.
[00:27:21]  Yeah.
[00:27:21]  He's making fun of a bad rapper.
[00:27:22]  No, there's no question.
[00:27:23]  That motherfucker's funny.
[00:27:24]  Yeah, but like, I think anyone can get in on that.
[00:27:26]  Got you.
[00:27:27]  Okay.
[00:27:27]  I didn't know that he was more diverse in his content.
[00:27:29]  I thought it was kind of like hip-hop.
[00:27:30]  That's what I was trying to get him when we were in Miami.
[00:27:33]  Yeah.
[00:27:34]  But he also came up on like with Jack.
[00:27:36]  I love that that friendship is actually real and organic.
[00:27:39]  Yeah.
[00:27:39]  But like imagine Jack in that moment.
[00:27:41]  So he's like from Kentucky.
[00:27:43]  Yeah.
[00:27:43]  Goes to Kentucky Derby, which is like the shit in his town that everyone talks about.
[00:27:46]  Yeah, this is a horse race to anybody watching that doesn't know what we're talking about.
[00:27:49]  Unknown, like two years ago, all of a sudden, like, is now shutting the whole event down with like his hero idol Drake on one side and like his best friend Druski on the other side.
[00:27:58]  Yeah, and it's just like that's a moment takes over the internet.
[00:28:01]  Like, that's like such a cool moment to do in your hometown.
[00:28:03]  And the suit looked fire.
[00:28:05]  Yeah.
[00:28:05]  I don't know what Drake was wearing.
[00:28:07]  Drake was dressed like a seal.
[00:28:08]  No, I like Drake's shit.
[00:28:09]  I thought he looked cool.
[00:28:10]  No.
[00:28:11]  It's not Kentucky Derby appropriate, typically, but he's a cool fit.
[00:28:15]  He don't give a fuck.
[00:28:16]  That's Drake, bro.
[00:28:17]  He don't give a fuck.
[00:28:18]  What does that mean?
[00:28:19]  I mean, he did give a fuck.
[00:28:20]  There was a choice to wear that.
[00:28:23]  Yeah, but he doesn't have to.
[00:28:24]  I don't have to conform to your rules.
[00:28:25]  There you go.
[00:28:27]  Ah, he doesn't care about wearing a suit or dressing appropriate for the Kentucky Derby.
[00:28:31]  I don't need to fit in at the Kentucky Derby.
[00:28:33]  I don't need to fit in.
[00:28:33]  No, the whole idea is like you go in that theme and then do whatever you want in that theme.
[00:28:38]  You just went completely different.
[00:28:39]  That's what I thought was cool about the Druski's outfit.
[00:28:41]  Like, he had the suit with the shorts and the cowboy boots on.
[00:28:44]  It was ridiculous.
[00:28:44]  Like, it was amazing.
[00:28:46]  He was like, what is it?
[00:28:47]  The doll from Toy Story?
[00:28:49]  Oh, Woody?
[00:28:50]  Yeah, he looked like Woody from Toy Story.
[00:28:52]  It was brilliant.
[00:28:53]  And he's like leaning into it, doing all this stuff.
[00:28:55]  I don't know what Drake was doing, but Drake, I guess, don't have to dress any way he fucking wants.
[00:28:59]  Nah.
[00:29:00]  Yeah.
[00:29:00]  You know what was cool?
[00:29:01]  Is if you, what, I'm 38, so I've seen hip-hop go from there bragging about fucking Mercedes to then Bugattis, then watches, then art.
[00:29:10]  And now they're at fucking Derby Day doing videos.
[00:29:13]  So like we watched hip-hop go from new money to old money in our lifetime.
[00:29:17]  And it was like a cool thing.
[00:29:18]  If you look back, it was like real immature and like, hey, I got a Mercedes and rapping about fucking, trying to get my hands on some grants like Horace, rapping about $50 bills.
[00:29:27]  And now you guys are fucking videos at Derby Day.
[00:29:30]  It's just cool to watch hip-hop get wealthy.
[00:29:32]  Yeah, that's fine.
[00:29:33]  All right, guys, we're going to take a break for a second.
[00:29:34]  Yeah, I'm in a new shirt.
[00:29:36]  You know what I'm saying?

=== Hip Hop Goes Old Money (07:14) ===

[00:29:37]  I had to switch it up because I got to tell you guys about cuts.
[00:29:39]  Some of y'all need to step up your leisure wear.
[00:29:42]  Okay.
[00:29:42]  You got hoodies, you got tees.
[00:29:43]  They're not comfortable.
[00:29:44]  You're sitting or standing or working in a hoodie or tee that's not comfortable right now.
[00:29:49]  That's why your girl's dry.
[00:29:54]  The main reason as to why your girl's a desert is because your sweatshirts, your hoodies, your tees, all of your leisure wear, they suck.
[00:30:07]  They're unbearable.
[00:30:08]  She can't walk around the house with them when you're not there.
[00:30:11]  She's probably wearing her ex's shit still because her ex had cuts.
[00:30:16]  Look, these shirts are made to last.
[00:30:20]  Okay.
[00:30:20]  Ditch the fast fashion brands and invest in cuts.
[00:30:23]  Okay.
[00:30:23]  They've got tons of great colors and styles.
[00:30:26]  Crew necks, Henleys, long sleeves.
[00:30:29]  Your mother.
[00:30:30]  There's something for everyone.
[00:30:31]  Okay.
[00:30:32]  Cuts is on fire right now.
[00:30:34]  GQ even labeled them the only shirt worth wearing because GQ understands what's going on.
[00:30:40]  They understand what's going on in your bedroom.
[00:30:43]  They understand there's a lot more preparation than there has to be because your girl, it's frozen.
[00:30:48]  The box is frozen, bro.
[00:30:49]  And ladies, if you're listening right now, you're watching right now, you know exactly what I'm talking about.
[00:30:53]  Get your man some cuts and get sloppy.
[00:30:55]  Okay, my point is right now, you need to refresh your wardrobe with cuts, okay?
[00:31:01]  Especially for the summertime.
[00:31:02]  So this is what we could do.
[00:31:04]  Give him 10% off.
[00:31:05]  This is the Mark.
[00:31:06]  I think 10% is good.
[00:31:07]  Mark, the best I could do is 15%.
[00:31:10]  Oh my God.
[00:31:11]  15% off your first order by going to cutsclothing.com/slash flagrant.
[00:31:15]  That's cutsclothing.com slash flagrant.
[00:31:18]  Mark wanted to give you 10%.
[00:31:20]  I'm giving you 15.
[00:31:21]  I don't give a fuck.
[00:31:22]  I'm trying to save your relationship.
[00:31:23]  Poor girl, bone dry.
[00:31:25]  Let's get back to the show.
[00:31:27]  What did you guys think of the album?
[00:31:29]  I haven't heard it, but I just love Jack Harlow.
[00:31:32]  And I don't think it matters how the album is.
[00:31:34]  I heard some people saying it wasn't that.
[00:31:35]  I'm sorry.
[00:31:36]  You said you love Jack Harlow.
[00:31:38]  Yeah, yeah.
[00:31:38]  Is this the first white rapper that you love?
[00:31:40]  Yes.
[00:31:40]  Finally.
[00:31:41]  Here's why.
[00:31:42]  I love him.
[00:31:43]  And this is what I think the genius of him is.
[00:31:46]  Doing this derby day shit.
[00:31:47]  I heard criticism of the album.
[00:31:50]  It doesn't matter.
[00:31:51]  We like Jack.
[00:31:52]  Yeah.
[00:31:52]  Who gives a fuck if the album is good or not?
[00:31:55]  I'm not going to listen to a white rapper's album, but I like Jack Harlow.
[00:31:58]  And that's all that matters.
[00:31:59]  So go do White Man Can't Jump.
[00:32:00]  You're probably going to be great.
[00:32:01]  You're super likable, like self-aware, fucking brilliant social IQ.
[00:32:06]  He's like, he's got that thing Drake has, personality-wise.
[00:32:11]  But like, he's just fucking socially brilliant.
[00:32:13]  And it doesn't matter if the music is good.
[00:32:14]  Yeah.
[00:32:15]  Like you.
[00:32:16]  Yeah.
[00:32:17]  No, that's a good ass point.
[00:32:18]  I think it matters.
[00:32:19]  What's up?
[00:32:20]  If the music is good, like did you like it?
[00:32:24]  The few songs I've heard, yes.
[00:32:27]  I haven't heard the whole album.
[00:32:28]  I just thought if you were going to argue with me, you would have more to say.
[00:32:31]  I'm not saying you can't disagree with me.
[00:32:33]  I just thought you would be.
[00:32:34]  He was saying, in general, like social IQ goes a certain way.
[00:32:38]  But you disagreed very passionately.
[00:32:40]  I think it matters.
[00:32:41]  And then you just didn't have longevity-wise?
[00:32:43]  No, you want great music.
[00:32:44]  Like, Drake has a social presence.
[00:32:46]  He's got this concert presence.
[00:32:47]  He's got it all.
[00:32:48]  Absolutely.
[00:32:49]  Yes.
[00:32:49]  I haven't heard the album yet.
[00:32:50]  I've only heard the song that the G.
[00:32:53]  And I'm saying it from his first album.
[00:32:55]  Like, I think it's really great.
[00:32:57]  G. L. L.
[00:33:00]  Yeah, you got it.
[00:33:02]  R-O-U-S.
[00:33:05]  First class.
[00:33:06]  That's just a Fergie song.
[00:33:07]  That's not.
[00:33:08]  I thought that was.
[00:33:09]  Oh.
[00:33:10]  They're not the.
[00:33:11]  That's the flip.
[00:33:11]  It's a flip on a Fergie song.
[00:33:12]  Yeah, but he's just only singing the Fergie song.
[00:33:14]  Oh.
[00:33:15]  That's the one I know.
[00:33:15]  Oh, you got to go like this.
[00:33:17]  Yeah.
[00:33:17]  Yeah.
[00:33:18]  That's the one I see.
[00:33:18]  You need to do those things to make it the Jack Harlow song.
[00:33:22]  G, L, A. What's next, though?
[00:33:30]  It don't sound like it's better than the Fergie version, to be honest.
[00:33:33]  Y'all don't know the words.
[00:33:34]  I know glamorous.
[00:33:35]  O-U-S.
[00:33:36]  Yeah.
[00:33:37]  First class.
[00:33:38]  Yeah, you got it.
[00:33:39]  Up in the sky.
[00:33:41]  Champagne.
[00:33:42]  That's just the Fergie song still.
[00:33:43]  You're still just only singing the Fergie song.
[00:33:44]  Shit.
[00:33:45]  Wait, are you sure?
[00:33:47]  Nah, bro.
[00:33:48]  How does the Jack Harlow go?
[00:33:50]  Sex in the on the lyrics.
[00:33:56]  I looked at Reddit.
[00:34:02]  Yeah, that sounds like a hit right there, boy.
[00:34:06]  That song slaps.
[00:34:08]  I actually like the album.
[00:34:09]  Like, it's decent.
[00:34:10]  It's not, it's, it doesn't have any crazy slappers on it, but it's a decent, it's a solid album.
[00:34:15]  I feel like this is every album that comes out now.
[00:34:17]  It's like Drake dropped the album and everybody said the exact same thing.
[00:34:21]  They're like, oh, it's mid.
[00:34:22]  Kanye dropped the album.
[00:34:23]  Everybody says the exact same thing, mid.
[00:34:25]  And then a month, yes.
[00:34:26]  No, people didn't say Kanye's album was mid.
[00:34:27]  What do you think?
[00:34:28]  Yes, they did, but a lot of people.
[00:34:30]  Stop, bro.
[00:34:31]  Stop.
[00:34:31]  They expected something else.
[00:34:32]  Everybody was like, you know, oh, there's a few songs, but most or whatever.
[00:34:36]  Like, everybody goes, every album's mid.
[00:34:39]  And then a month or two later, people go, oh my God, this is one of the best albums I've ever heard.
[00:34:44]  Three or four plays through on it.
[00:34:45]  Now that happened.
[00:34:45]  Yeah, you need time.
[00:34:46]  But I'm not hearing that about Drake's newest album the same way I did.
[00:34:50]  What was a Scorpion or whatever?
[00:34:51]  Everybody shat on it.
[00:34:52]  And then it was just hit after hit after hit after hit.
[00:34:54]  I'm not seeing the hits come out.
[00:34:56]  And I'm out of the culture, I guess, so you could correct me if I'm wrong, but I'm not seeing crazy hits on Certified Lover Boy like that.
[00:35:02]  If anything, I would think the opinion has gone further down since it's been out.
[00:35:06]  Really?
[00:35:07]  I think Kanye the opinion has gone further up because Kanye's always sorry to interrupt, but Kanye's always sonically so far ahead of what we're ready for.
[00:35:14]  Yeah.
[00:35:14]  Seems like that you have to catch up to it and be like, oh no, shit is going to sound like this later.
[00:35:20]  Huh.
[00:35:21]  I like the album though.
[00:35:22]  You should give it a listen.
[00:35:23]  Yeah.
[00:35:24]  I'm going to listen to it.
[00:35:25]  I like Jack Harlow.
[00:35:26]  It's like a cruising, like a cruising in your car.
[00:35:29]  Not like you're about to turn up at the club album.
[00:35:31]  But that's his style, I feel.
[00:35:32]  Nah, but I mean, his first song was popping.
[00:35:35]  Like, that shit gets you in.
[00:35:37]  I'm going to go out to him.
[00:35:38]  But it's still chill.
[00:35:39]  Like, his flow is chill.
[00:35:41]  Yeah, but it's still like a song you would listen to right with before you're about to step on okay.
[00:35:46]  I got you.
[00:35:46]  I guess for me, like that's more production.
[00:35:49]  Like his flow is like chill.
[00:35:51]  Like you look at like a snoop.
[00:35:53]  Snoop isn't like a fucking turn up.
[00:35:55]  Let's go, whatever.
[00:35:56]  But maybe the production turns it into something like that or turns into more like coasting, ride-along type of music.
[00:36:02]  Yeah, and that's why I was surprised he didn't have any of those on this album.
[00:36:06]  I also realized I don't know the words of any songs now that I don't drive.
[00:36:09]  Yeah.
[00:36:10]  Back before when I would drive everywhere, I would listen and I would sing along and I would learn the words.
[00:36:14]  And now that I'm on the train, I'm just humming and I don't know any words anymore.
[00:36:17]  You can't sing along to nobody.
[00:36:18]  Yeah.
[00:36:21]  Maybe that's why I never knew words.
[00:36:23]  Maybe.
[00:36:24]  Yeah.
[00:36:24]  Yeah.
[00:36:25]  Like Tom's Diner.
[00:36:26]  Yo, Tom's Diner, I know.
[00:36:28]  At the diner.
[00:36:31]  That's called Tom's.
[00:36:33]  I will get my eggs and scramble them.
[00:36:37]  At the diner, that's called Tom's.
[00:36:41]  Wait for a table if you need six people on a benny for Tuti.
[00:36:47]  What?
[00:36:47]  Yeah, I know that song.
[00:36:48]  You know that song?
[00:36:49]  Yeah, Tom's Diner.
[00:36:50]  Yeah, Tom's Diner.

=== Singing Along On The Train (14:35) ===

[00:36:52]  And people just going crazy over Jack and Drake and all that shit is wild.
[00:36:55]  But it was making me think: is it kind of a deal breaker if your girl is like a fangirl of another celebrity?
[00:37:02]  Like if you were to meet like a girl, she's like, yo, I'm the biggest fan of like Bad Bunny.
[00:37:07]  Or I'm like the biggest fan of like Harry Styles.
[00:37:09]  I have like a poster of him.
[00:37:11]  I want to meet him.
[00:37:11]  I want to pay for the meet and greet.
[00:37:13]  Are you like, I can't?
[00:37:15]  I don't think so.
[00:37:16]  No, that's fine.
[00:37:17]  As long as it's, yeah, because, you know, they like me, that's fine.
[00:37:25]  Who are you talking to right now?
[00:37:27]  I'm just saying, if they like me, you know, your girl got good taste.
[00:37:30]  That's all I'm trying to say.
[00:37:32]  You know what I'm saying?
[00:37:33]  Your girl got good taste.
[00:37:34]  What are we supposed to do?
[00:37:35]  Go look in the camera and be like, yeah, that's a deal breaker.
[00:37:38]  Yeah, get out of here, bro.
[00:37:40]  Like, no.
[00:37:41]  I'm a fan.
[00:37:41]  I'm talking like, yo, I have the posters in the room.
[00:37:43]  It's fine.
[00:37:45]  It's okay.
[00:37:46]  This is good.
[00:37:47]  There's nothing wrong with this.
[00:37:49]  We want this.
[00:37:50]  I forgot you're a sex symbol.
[00:37:51]  I completely forgot that you're a sex symbol out here.
[00:37:56]  Question mark, maybe.
[00:37:57]  It's perfectly safe.
[00:37:58]  Your girl a fan of me.
[00:37:59]  You know, I ain't fucking her.
[00:38:00]  So your girl should love me.
[00:38:02]  Yo, you fuck bitches, bro.
[00:38:04]  Yeah.
[00:38:05]  How do you deal with the fangirls, though?
[00:38:07]  What?
[00:38:08]  What not your shows?
[00:38:09]  Same way I do with imaginary friends.
[00:38:17]  You need the dudes who love me?
[00:38:18]  Yeah, it's fine.
[00:38:19]  We hang out.
[00:38:21]  I would not be cool with it if my girl was a fan of someone in comedy.
[00:38:27]  Oh, that would fuck that.
[00:38:29]  That's a problem.
[00:38:30]  That's a problem.
[00:38:31]  If she's a fan of somebody like, I don't know, some other shit.
[00:38:36]  BTS.
[00:38:37]  Yes.
[00:38:40]  No, PTS is fine too.
[00:38:41]  BTS is fine.
[00:38:43]  It really depends how threatening they are.
[00:38:44]  Yeah, yeah.
[00:38:45]  You know what I mean?
[00:38:46]  Like, if, like, like, yeah.
[00:38:50]  Like, you know what I'm saying?
[00:38:51]  Like, if they're not threatening in any way, then it'd be fine.
[00:38:56]  Like, could I emasculate them to the point where my girl would no longer be attracted to them?
[00:39:00]  Like, in front of her, if need be?
[00:39:02]  Yeah.
[00:39:02]  Then, yeah.
[00:39:03]  So, why couldn't you do that to a comic?
[00:39:05]  Say again?
[00:39:05]  Why couldn't you do that if she was a fan of another comic?
[00:39:08]  No, I could.
[00:39:09]  Yeah.
[00:39:09]  But it's like, yo, don't be laughing at somebody else.
[00:39:15]  Why is it that funny?
[00:39:16]  Wait, what the hell is that that funny?
[00:39:17]  Nah, I'm with you on that.
[00:39:20]  I'm with you on that.
[00:39:21]  What if it's a female comic?
[00:39:22]  What if your girl was like, yo, the best podcast studio is this other one?
[00:39:30]  Thank you.
[00:39:31]  What if it's a female comic?
[00:39:32]  Say again?
[00:39:32]  Female comic.
[00:39:33]  Even then, like, how funny is it?
[00:39:36]  How funny is it?
[00:39:37]  Like, you go send me a clip of another comic, male, female.
[00:39:40]  Oh, this is hilarious.
[00:39:41]  Like, hilarious?
[00:39:42]  Like, it's hilarious.
[00:39:44]  Is that what it is to you?
[00:39:45]  You find this hilarious?
[00:39:47]  Joe Becky over here.
[00:39:49]  Am I a comedian or not?
[00:39:51]  Right?
[00:39:52]  No, for real.
[00:39:52]  Don't do that shit.
[00:39:53]  I don't even like when she'd be laughing at waiters.
[00:39:55]  Like, I'm like, like, what?
[00:39:58]  For what?
[00:39:59]  Like, what was it?
[00:40:00]  What his little joke about the cutlery?
[00:40:02]  That's that funny?
[00:40:03]  You're threatened by a waiter?
[00:40:05]  Okay.
[00:40:05]  Okay, OJ.
[00:40:10]  Yeah.
[00:40:11]  Yeah.
[00:40:12]  Motherfucker.
[00:40:15]  Yes, I am, motherfucker.
[00:40:18]  Fuck you.
[00:40:19]  Fuck you, Akash.
[00:40:21]  You don't ever feel this way?
[00:40:23]  You got a wavery celebrity that's more successful than you.
[00:40:26]  Not a waiter.
[00:40:27]  Waiter's not more successful than me.
[00:40:30]  Waiters is human, so he doesn't care.
[00:40:31]  You understand?
[00:40:33]  He's not threatened by that.
[00:40:34]  No, that is a good point.
[00:40:35]  No, no, for real.
[00:40:35]  Yeah, I don't like that shit.
[00:40:38]  I don't like that.
[00:40:39]  I don't like it.
[00:40:40]  I don't like it.
[00:40:41]  Y'all like it?
[00:40:42]  I love it.
[00:40:42]  You love your girl just laughing at other guys?
[00:40:44]  I can't imagine that.
[00:40:45]  Why are you laughing at a waiter?
[00:40:46]  Dying, like, oh my God, the funniest guy ever.
[00:40:49]  You haven't gotten one squeak out of the whole week.
[00:40:52]  That's a huge joke, bro.
[00:40:53]  How funny are you?
[00:40:54]  Like, getting a laugh.
[00:40:55]  Oh, my God.
[00:40:56]  The funniest guy.
[00:40:57]  The funniest human being I ever met.
[00:40:59]  Grant me cheddar bait biscuits.
[00:41:01]  Is Eddie Murphy working at Carbone?
[00:41:02]  Yeah, yeah.
[00:41:03]  Eddie Murphy works in Carbone.
[00:41:05]  Why would you say Cheddar Bay Brown?
[00:41:07]  And this guy has an opinion on restaurants.
[00:41:09]  His only reference is funny.
[00:41:11]  Charlie Reynolds.
[00:41:14]  Yo, yo, hey, I'm two skins ahead.
[00:41:17]  I knew we could get shit on cheddar bait biscuits.
[00:41:19]  And that proves you got no taste, man.
[00:41:20]  Bougie.
[00:41:21]  Forgot where you came from.
[00:41:22]  No, I like diners.
[00:41:24]  I just don't like red lobsters.
[00:41:25]  Man, I forgot where he came from.
[00:41:26]  He's too good for charging.
[00:41:26]  When's the last time you read a diner, bro?
[00:41:27]  Say again.
[00:41:28]  When was the last time you read a diner?
[00:41:29]  Last week.
[00:41:30]  What diner?
[00:41:31]  Oh, it's Tom's Diner.
[00:41:35]  Come on down to Tom.
[00:41:37]  You're a comfortable.
[00:41:41]  We got some muscles, smart ass potato.
[00:41:44]  Hey, we got all the grave and cheese and stuff.
[00:41:49]  And the funniest waiters in town.
[00:41:53]  You know what Tom's Diner is?
[00:41:55]  Real talk?
[00:41:55]  It's the diner in Seinfeld.
[00:41:56]  Say again?
[00:41:57]  Tom's Diner is the diner in Seinfeld.
[00:41:59]  I don't know.
[00:42:00]  It's on the Upper West side, I think.
[00:42:02]  Yeah.
[00:42:02]  Oh, is it?
[00:42:03]  Is it?
[00:42:04]  It's in his neighborhood.
[00:42:06]  It's in a table.
[00:42:07]  Is that where the most famous show?
[00:42:10]  Unsubscribed.
[00:42:11]  Oh, wait, wait.
[00:42:13]  The most famous show in New York history.
[00:42:15]  Oh, you can't deny the numbers.
[00:42:17]  The numbers are numbers.
[00:42:18]  You know what I'm saying?
[00:42:19]  But if you come up trying to make my wife laugh, you're going to get 20% from me regardless.
[00:42:27]  It's going down.
[00:42:28]  No, no, Mark.
[00:42:30]  Come on.
[00:42:30]  iPhone is 10.
[00:42:31]  Nice.
[00:42:32]  You come up joking around.
[00:42:33]  Ha ha ha ha.
[00:42:34]  For what?
[00:42:35]  We know what we want.
[00:42:38]  Hey, what are the specials today?
[00:42:40]  It looks like someone pretty special sitting next to you right now.
[00:42:44]  What?
[00:42:46]  What?
[00:42:47]  Did you need to say that?
[00:42:49]  Also, wait, you sit next?
[00:42:50]  You took to your girl at the booth?
[00:42:52]  Say what?
[00:42:52]  You sit next?
[00:42:52]  You same side?
[00:42:53]  Oh, always.
[00:42:54]  Yeah, same side.
[00:42:55]  Wait, really?
[00:42:55]  If you're in love, you sit down.
[00:42:56]  Oh, you just started eating now.
[00:42:58]  Fuck out.
[00:42:58]  What's the fucking thing?
[00:43:02]  It is true.
[00:43:04]  You're the same side?
[00:43:05]  How long have you been looking at your wife, bro?
[00:43:07]  You want to keep it looking at her?
[00:43:08]  You just spit on your sweater.
[00:43:10]  I only spit when I talk.
[00:43:12]  Yes, he didn't love Alex.
[00:43:13]  Okay.
[00:43:13]  That's out of love.
[00:43:14]  No, he loves passion.
[00:43:16]  Make my girl laugh, motherfucker.
[00:43:18]  Also, I need to see this motherfucker coming up with his jokes, checking his little notebook.
[00:43:22]  You know what I mean?
[00:43:23]  Coming up trying to make my motherfucking girl laugh.
[00:43:25]  I even try to hit him like this.
[00:43:28]  Boss, yeah.
[00:43:31]  You sit straight like this.
[00:43:33]  Yeah, so I can go earmuffs.
[00:43:35]  Just in case the waiter's super funny.
[00:43:37]  I gotta be able to do that.
[00:43:39]  He said that too.
[00:43:40]  I said that to a waiter before.
[00:43:42]  I was like, oh, you feel pretty funny.
[00:43:43]  You ever try to stand up?
[00:43:45]  And he was like, I was thinking about it.
[00:43:46]  I was like, yeah, stick with that.
[00:43:49]  Keep it on stage, fam.
[00:43:50]  You look at him.
[00:43:51]  You're like, oh, you ever sold out Radio City?
[00:43:52]  Yeah, I said that.
[00:43:53]  He was like, no.
[00:43:54]  You're like, oh, weird.
[00:43:55]  Oh, that's so weird, huh?
[00:43:56]  You know, he does this because he's selfish, right?
[00:43:58]  Because a girl's supposed to get the booth seat, but he's like, nope.
[00:44:01]  I want to see inside the rest of the seat.
[00:44:02]  Oh, same siding?
[00:44:03]  Same siding.
[00:44:04]  He's like, we can be together.
[00:44:05]  No, he's always self-defense.
[00:44:06]  He's fucking booth seat.
[00:44:07]  Yo, selfish.
[00:44:08]  You of all talking about seating is crazy to me.
[00:44:12]  This guy.
[00:44:13]  All you care about is getting into the right seat.
[00:44:16]  I never get it.
[00:44:17]  He's amazing at it.
[00:44:18]  He's amazing at it.
[00:44:19]  20 people walk into a room and he's strategizing.
[00:44:21]  He's in pole position.
[00:44:22]  He's fucking F1.
[00:44:23]  It's F1.
[00:44:23]  It's okay.
[00:44:24]  With dudes, but if it's with a date or my girl.
[00:44:27]  Why your hair looks like mine?
[00:44:28]  What's going on?
[00:44:30]  What's going on, bro?
[00:44:32]  You take your girl.
[00:44:32]  That's what you think your hair looks like?
[00:44:34]  Just sticking up, man.
[00:44:35]  Hi.
[00:44:35]  Oh, just like.
[00:44:35]  Any girls listening?
[00:44:36]  This guy takes a booth seat.
[00:44:38]  Hey, thanks, though.
[00:44:38]  I appreciate that.
[00:44:39]  His hair looks horrible, dude.
[00:44:40]  What were you saying, heroin Josh Peck?
[00:44:42]  What'd you say?
[00:44:48]  You're mentioning something.
[00:44:52]  Haroon and Josh Peck?
[00:44:55]  That's fucking crazy, dude.
[00:44:59]  I wish he had to give the memes.
[00:45:02]  Oh, my God.
[00:45:02]  No, this is good.
[00:45:03]  This is good.
[00:45:03]  Yeah, I know.
[00:45:04]  You suck.
[00:45:06]  Yo, he was so pissed.
[00:45:07]  We went to Q the other night.
[00:45:09]  He was so fucking pissed off that he wasn't part of the booth.
[00:45:12]  Or were you at the end of the booth?
[00:45:13]  When you guys walked in?
[00:45:15]  He was on the chair.
[00:45:16]  Yeah, you were on the chair.
[00:45:17]  Yeah.
[00:45:17]  Oh, yeah, yeah.
[00:45:18]  Tell me this isn't Schultz and Dove.
[00:45:20]  Yeah.
[00:45:22]  I'm about to rapist.
[00:45:23]  Come on, Doug.
[00:45:24]  I'm about to rapist.
[00:45:25]  I'll allow it.
[00:45:26]  I'll allow it.
[00:45:28]  There we are.
[00:45:29]  Haroon Josh Peck.
[00:45:31]  This guy.
[00:45:32]  The other guy looks like he fucks kids, bro.
[00:45:35]  He does, doesn't he?
[00:45:36]  He does.
[00:45:37]  He looks like he fucks kids.
[00:45:39]  And he does.
[00:45:41]  Or he had child porn on his laptop.
[00:45:43]  Yeah, he was doing something crazy.
[00:45:44]  I don't know exactly what exactly was it because I don't want to put that on him, man.
[00:45:48]  He does have allegations of some kind of sexual abuse.
[00:45:51]  I don't know if it's rape or pedophilia or what, but he has allegations.
[00:45:54]  I'll find the details.
[00:45:56]  Yeah, maybe we should find the details, man.
[00:45:58]  He's accused of sexual contact and grooming an underage fan.
[00:46:01]  Thank you.
[00:46:02]  How old?
[00:46:03]  Come on, man.
[00:46:05]  I'm not going to.
[00:46:05]  I'm not going to.
[00:46:06]  Dove, will you allow it?
[00:46:09]  Come on.
[00:46:11]  Here's it.
[00:46:12]  Here's it.
[00:46:12]  Here's the thing.
[00:46:13]  No, we're just curious.
[00:46:13]  We're not saying we're going to defend it.
[00:46:15]  We're just curious.
[00:46:16]  I just wanted to know.
[00:46:17]  We just want the info.
[00:46:18]  The info is underage.
[00:46:21]  It's levels to disgusting.
[00:46:23]  Thank you.
[00:46:24]  Well, you know what I'm saying?
[00:46:25]  Room is leveled to absolute disgusting.
[00:46:27]  Grooming her.
[00:46:28]  Yeah.
[00:46:29]  He's disgusting.
[00:46:30]  Now we want to know how disgusting is that.
[00:46:32]  According to NBC News, an Ohio judge sentenced former Nickelodeon television star on Monday to two years of probation for child endangerment after he was accused of grooming her since she was 12 years old.
[00:46:41]  Whoa.
[00:46:42]  Oh, oh, aren't y'all glad you know that?
[00:46:45]  No.
[00:46:46]  I supported this judge should be shot.
[00:46:48]  Two years' probation?
[00:46:49]  Yeah, no, no.
[00:46:50]  So fucking soft.
[00:46:51]  Yeah.
[00:46:51]  That's crazy.
[00:46:54]  I hope he was not guilty and you still gave him two years' probation just in case.
[00:46:57]  That's the only way that's an acceptable sentence.
[00:46:59]  That's fucking disgusting, dude.
[00:47:01]  That's disgusting.
[00:47:03]  Two years' probation.
[00:47:04]  You would even say, I look like that guy.
[00:47:07]  That's disgusting.
[00:47:08]  When you stand next to Dove, kind of.
[00:47:11]  On your own, you don't.
[00:47:12]  But he looks so much like Josh Peck.
[00:47:14]  Yeah, can we get, we should get a side-and-side pick and put it up.
[00:47:16]  That shit is fucking hilarious.
[00:47:18]  Hold on.
[00:47:19]  I don't want to be part of this.
[00:47:21]  You're saying that I'm looking like a fucking raper.
[00:47:25]  Al looks like R. Kelly.
[00:47:26]  Like, we all look like someone bad.
[00:47:28]  Does Al look like R. Kelly?
[00:47:29]  Identical to R. Kelly.
[00:47:30]  No, ludicrous.
[00:47:31]  There you go.
[00:47:33]  Come over a little bit more towards me.
[00:47:35]  Come on, don't do on the chair because it'll break.
[00:47:38]  Come on, come on, come on.
[00:47:39]  You're fat ass.
[00:47:41]  Okay, let's go.
[00:47:42]  Stop, stop, stop, stop.
[00:47:43]  Ready?
[00:47:43]  Let's go.
[00:47:44]  Yeah, Drake and Josh.
[00:47:45]  Okay, hold on.
[00:47:45]  I'm in, bro.
[00:47:46]  Yeah, yeah.
[00:47:47]  It's gonna take some time to realize.
[00:47:51]  When you look over your shoulder, you know that something is running around.
[00:47:58]  I never saw this show.
[00:47:59]  I never saw this show.
[00:48:00]  I never saw SpongeBob.
[00:48:01]  I never saw some Rick and Morty.
[00:48:03]  Rick and Morty's and you.
[00:48:04]  I think we can still watch that.
[00:48:05]  That generation, they like pedophiles.
[00:48:07]  That's what they are.
[00:48:07]  They like pedophiles.
[00:48:08]  Yeah, yeah.
[00:48:09]  Yeah, you guys are entertained by that.
[00:48:11]  Pathetic, you people.
[00:48:12]  Yeah.
[00:48:12]  You people are pathetic.
[00:48:13]  Yeah.
[00:48:14]  You're fucking gross.
[00:48:15]  You guys are disgusting.
[00:48:15]  Well, I guess we don't like pedophiles.
[00:48:17]  Yeah.
[00:48:17]  Bro, you guys are disgusting, bro.
[00:48:19]  Now, when he was younger and he wasn't fucking kids, I kind of looked like him.
[00:48:22]  I'm not going to lie.
[00:48:23]  As he got older and started to fucking grooming one kid, you look nothing like him.
[00:48:28]  Nothing like him at all, dude.
[00:48:29]  That guy looks weak.
[00:48:31]  It's a weak piece of shit.
[00:48:32]  Yo, I saw a guy that looks like Mark.
[00:48:34]  His name is Zeth Z-E-T-H.
[00:48:37]  This motherfucker looks like Mark in an alternate, like, in where he's allowed by his parents to be like musical and a little gay.
[00:48:44]  Oh, yeah.
[00:48:45]  Yo, tell me this guy doesn't look.
[00:48:47]  He does it.
[00:48:48]  He does some shit.
[00:48:49]  I think he does like a podcast with his daughter or something like that.
[00:48:51]  Daughter's super cute.
[00:48:53]  But the guy just looks so much like Mark to me.
[00:48:55]  How old's the daughter, bro?
[00:48:57]  Adorable, not like attractive.
[00:48:58]  Ah, you said cute.
[00:48:59]  Yeah.
[00:49:00]  Cute.
[00:49:00]  Like a little baby.
[00:49:03]  Yo, yeah.
[00:49:04]  Crazy.
[00:49:05]  This guy's crazy.
[00:49:06]  What is going on?
[00:49:07]  Why do you even need to bring it up?
[00:49:09]  Yo.
[00:49:11]  This is your conscience.
[00:49:15]  Might be a good time to not talk about children, how cute they are.
[00:49:20]  You can't say kids are cute.
[00:49:21]  This kind of looks like me.
[00:49:22]  He looks like literally, your hair looks the same, and then everything else.
[00:49:26]  No, he got the forehead and everything, bro.
[00:49:27]  Yeah, I don't know.
[00:49:28]  He keeps wearing hats.
[00:49:29]  Yes, for a reason, bro.
[00:49:31]  I mean, he's a cute kid.
[00:49:33]  He's so much cuter than Mark, though.
[00:49:34]  No, don't do that.
[00:49:35]  Don't do that.
[00:49:36]  Do you think he got Mark?
[00:49:37]  His hair got the blonde that you want.
[00:49:39]  But now he got Bali.
[00:49:41]  Now he's got a natural bolly eye.
[00:49:43]  That's bolly odds.
[00:49:43]  That's fake.
[00:49:44]  That's no, that's his real sun kiss.
[00:49:46]  He just tries to do it artificially.
[00:49:47]  This is lemon juice.
[00:49:48]  He put lemon juice.
[00:49:49]  This guy's a fraud.
[00:49:49]  Lemon juice.
[00:49:50]  Sun in.
[00:49:51]  This isn't sun in, dude.
[00:49:52]  Come on.
[00:49:52]  You kidding me?
[00:49:53]  How'd you come across this guy's content?
[00:49:54]  You're just looking for kids or whatever.
[00:50:00]  Hey, yo.
[00:50:04]  Go crazy.
[00:50:05]  What are you talking about?
[00:50:06]  You're a murderer.
[00:50:08]  You killed him.
[00:50:09]  I'm just saying.
[00:50:10]  The algorithm knows what I like.
[00:50:12]  And it serves it up.
[00:50:13]  How did you go that way?
[00:50:14]  Exactly.
[00:50:15]  How did you go that way?
[00:50:16]  He's leaning in.
[00:50:17]  He's leaning in.
[00:50:18]  You want to watch his?
[00:50:19]  Yeah, you got to know.
[00:50:20]  You probably can't watch it.
[00:50:21]  Let me look at your explore page.
[00:50:22]  Look like fucking booze clues.
[00:50:26]  Let me see your explorer.
[00:50:27]  Got a letter.
[00:50:29]  Got a letter.
[00:50:30]  Age ain't nothing but a number.
[00:50:32]  Hey, yo, son, you are a fucking creep.
[00:50:35]  Show us to the camera.
[00:50:37]  He got a pregnant girl on here.
[00:50:39]  You're not even waiting.
[00:50:43]  Yo, he wants that shit right there.
[00:50:45]  My wife and I are trying.
[00:50:46]  You know what I mean?
[00:50:47]  Combined age of 30.
[00:50:48]  Go.
[00:50:51]  Oh, dude, you're weird, son.
[00:50:54]  Look at he got other pedophiles just like him.
[00:50:56]  Son, what is going on, Arkash?
[00:50:59]  Look how far he's scrolling down to get there.
[00:51:01]  You're on scrolling.
[00:51:01]  What's at the top?
[00:51:02]  Fam.
[00:51:03]  Literally, ready?
[00:51:04]  This is what's at the top.
[00:51:06]  Oh, right here.
[00:51:08]  One scroll, and I'm already at the creep.
[00:51:10]  That's a lot.
[00:51:11]  Let me see your pregnant page.
[00:51:12]  Let me see your explorer page.
[00:51:13]  You can look at my explorer page.
[00:51:15]  I'll give you that shit.
[00:51:16]  Let me just say right there.
[00:51:19]  All right.
[00:51:20]  Go, go, go, my explore page.
[00:51:21]  See what's up.
[00:51:22]  Record the screen.
[00:51:23]  Record the screen real quick.
[00:51:24]  Oh, look at this.
[00:51:25]  He said he don't like white girls.

=== Scrolling For Creepy Content (07:52) ===

[00:51:27]  Look at this.
[00:51:29]  Yo, Akash.
[00:51:30]  Sun, son, son, son.
[00:51:31]  Come on, record what I'm talking about.
[00:51:32]  What the fuck is this, yo?
[00:51:33]  Yo!
[00:51:34]  Hey, yo!
[00:51:35]  White bitch is sucking dang a leg.
[00:51:38]  All right, hold on.
[00:51:38]  Yeah, no, that's hot.
[00:51:39]  All right, scroll through.
[00:51:40]  Scroll through.
[00:51:40]  All right, here we go.
[00:51:41]  All right, what do we got?
[00:51:42]  I got an ice cream cone stuck in my mouth.
[00:51:44]  You got a lot of odd-looking folks on here.
[00:51:46]  All right, wait, let me see that.
[00:51:48]  Oh, Jesus.
[00:51:49]  This is on brand.
[00:51:54]  Hold on, hold on.
[00:51:55]  Bro, you weren't lying?
[00:51:56]  You really into these feet shit, son.
[00:51:59]  Son, you thought I've been lying for fucking eight years on this podcast?
[00:52:03]  It's feet watches and vacation.
[00:52:06]  Oh, my God.
[00:52:06]  Feet watches Italy.
[00:52:07]  That's all you want to say.
[00:52:08]  I'm solid-ass dudes.
[00:52:09]  Baby keys and shit like that.
[00:52:13]  I do like cripples or like people missing shit that can do things.
[00:52:17]  I do like if you missing some shit and you can do this.
[00:52:22]  You like hot dudes, bro.
[00:52:25]  My shit looks exactly like that.
[00:52:26]  You got the both gay.
[00:52:28]  Get it.
[00:52:29]  Wait, why is that gay, son?
[00:52:30]  And why shorty got a whole ice cream cone stuck on?
[00:52:35]  It's a white girl.
[00:52:37]  Can you look at this and look how specific this is?
[00:52:39]  It's a white girl sucking on a brown thing.
[00:52:42]  Brown.
[00:52:43]  What do you think?
[00:52:44]  What do you think?
[00:52:45]  You don't think Arkash look like a waffle cone?
[00:52:47]  She's sucking Arkash's whole arm.
[00:52:48]  Is that what?
[00:52:51]  Oh, oh, oh.
[00:52:52]  Pakistan Prime Minister Imran Khan ousted.
[00:52:55]  That's suggested.
[00:52:58]  You know what I mean?
[00:52:59]  Some brown shorties up in this.
[00:53:00]  Yeah, a lot of these motherfuckers.
[00:53:02]  Yo, you got some weird ass bitches.
[00:53:04]  Let me see my shit.
[00:53:05]  What's yours, Al?
[00:53:06]  Nah, we good.
[00:53:08]  That's right, though.
[00:53:10]  Shit, Al.
[00:53:10]  Al, don't be pussy.
[00:53:16]  That nigga's crazy, bro.
[00:53:18]  Yo, Al, don't be pussy.
[00:53:22]  I do got a pregnant woman on here.
[00:53:24]  Yes, you do.
[00:53:25]  Oh, shit.
[00:53:25]  That's what I'm saying.
[00:53:26]  You're a freak.
[00:53:29]  You legit a freak.
[00:53:30]  But, Al, can we just have a real serious conversation with you?
[00:53:33]  I'll switch it, Mark.
[00:53:34]  Let me see the Explorer.
[00:53:35]  I'm going to have a bunch of kids pop up.
[00:53:40]  Come on, that's fine.
[00:53:41]  Can we please see?
[00:53:42]  And I mean this is, can we please see yours?
[00:53:45]  Oh, fuck.
[00:53:46]  Wait, wait.
[00:53:49]  All right.
[00:53:50]  Let me see.
[00:53:50]  Pass that over here, Mark.
[00:53:51]  Nah, We're going to pass both.
[00:53:54]  No, We looking at it.
[00:53:57]  Y'all are really pussy.
[00:53:58]  Y'all are genuinely pussy.
[00:54:00]  They got no heart on.
[00:54:01]  Yo, y'all really got no fucking heart.
[00:54:03]  Heavies.
[00:54:04]  Beautiful black woman.
[00:54:05]  That's fire.
[00:54:05]  Let me see.
[00:54:06]  Sneakers.
[00:54:07]  Sneakers.
[00:54:07]  Yep.
[00:54:07]  I'm bread.
[00:54:08]  Give me the phone.
[00:54:09]  Nah, now you go, man.
[00:54:11]  I mean, a monkey killing his kid.
[00:54:12]  That's crazy.
[00:54:14]  That's fucking crazy.
[00:54:15]  Evolution.
[00:54:16]  What is that?
[00:54:18]  I mean, that's crazy.
[00:54:19]  It's a lot of sneakers.
[00:54:21]  A lot of NBA drama.
[00:54:22]  Mark got clothes.
[00:54:24]  Yep.
[00:54:25]  You got girls from Williamsburg.
[00:54:28]  Let's go.
[00:54:29]  Respect.
[00:54:30]  Y'all really not going to give me the phone to the middle.
[00:54:32]  I don't know.
[00:54:32]  Fuck you.
[00:54:33]  Give me the phone.
[00:54:34]  Mark got.
[00:54:34]  Come on.
[00:54:39]  Oh, this is wild.
[00:54:41]  That's wild, bro.
[00:54:42]  Yo, what's that, bro?
[00:54:43]  Come on.
[00:54:44]  You got.
[00:54:45]  Hey, I'm progressive, bro.
[00:54:50]  Son, what the fuck is this?
[00:54:52]  Oh, I'd watch zip hopping videos.
[00:54:54]  That's oh, yeah, obviously.
[00:54:55]  Dr. Pimple Popper?
[00:54:56]  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
[00:54:57]  Of course, of course.
[00:54:58]  Yeah, those are lit.
[00:54:58]  I like that more on what?
[00:55:01]  On Twitter, though.
[00:55:02]  Oh, yeah, yeah.
[00:55:02]  I follow her on Twitter.
[00:55:04]  Yo, you got dudes' legs on this.
[00:55:05]  Al trying to be brolic with his legs.
[00:55:08]  I be trying.
[00:55:09]  Everyone gets fit in this shit.
[00:55:10]  Can I try to be honest?
[00:55:11]  Can I try?
[00:55:11]  If you don't get fitness shit, that's fine.
[00:55:14]  Your Instagram is legit.
[00:55:15]  That's because you also got feet.
[00:55:16]  That's why.
[00:55:17]  Say again.
[00:55:18]  If I don't see feet within one scroll, I'm out.
[00:55:21]  I mean that sincerely.
[00:55:23]  I gotta see you.
[00:55:24]  I haven't seen one foot here, dude.
[00:55:26]  Yo, Al, you don't get anything.
[00:55:27]  You know what's so funny?
[00:55:28]  Al gets no.
[00:55:29]  If three married guys have the girl sucking on the cone, Unmarried guy.
[00:55:38]  That does not exist at all.
[00:55:42]  I'll tell you everything you need to know about this married life, my friends.
[00:55:47]  Oh, my God.
[00:55:48]  Instagram knows you don't like girls, bro.
[00:55:51]  Like, Instagram's.
[00:55:52]  He does like girls.
[00:55:53]  Instagram knows you can't handle this.
[00:55:54]  Yeah, you really can't.
[00:55:55]  You really can't handle it.
[00:55:56]  I ain't gonna put some respect on my names.
[00:55:58]  No, you're not.
[00:55:58]  I'm behind.
[00:55:59]  I can't handle none of these hoes.
[00:56:00]  Fuck out of here, bro.
[00:56:01]  No, no, no, page is whack, bro.
[00:56:03]  It only shows you, it shows you girls you can handle, bro.
[00:56:06]  It's just here interesting.
[00:56:07]  You had a couple fucking fitted hats.
[00:56:09]  There was like sneaker pages.
[00:56:10]  You had like fucking cables and shit for your studio.
[00:56:15]  But you didn't have any hoes.
[00:56:17]  You didn't have any feet.
[00:56:18]  And you didn't have any watches.
[00:56:19]  Grow up.
[00:56:21]  Grow up, son.
[00:56:22]  Watch his hoe's feet.
[00:56:23]  Grow up.
[00:56:24]  He ain't got no watches on his shit.
[00:56:25]  He's a kid.
[00:56:26]  He's 25.
[00:56:26]  The guy's 22 years old.
[00:56:28]  Just wait, though.
[00:56:28]  I see watches on yours.
[00:56:30]  I got that.
[00:56:31]  I got this right here.
[00:56:31]  I'm good.
[00:56:32]  Oh, shit.
[00:56:32]  What is that?
[00:56:33]  He got a nice little watch.
[00:56:36]  That's just Santos.
[00:56:38]  That's fire.
[00:56:38]  Little birthday gift from the wife.
[00:56:40]  Nice.
[00:56:41]  Why are you moving your hands so delicately?
[00:56:43]  Yeah, yeah.
[00:56:44]  I just want people to see how big his hand is.
[00:56:46]  It's a delicate watch.
[00:56:47]  He hasn't moved his hand the whole year.
[00:56:49]  I'm good.
[00:56:50]  You know what?
[00:56:50]  Because I'm too dumb to be like, hey, just do this.
[00:56:53]  My brain was like, there's something in the way here.
[00:56:55]  I can't move my hand.
[00:56:56]  There you go.
[00:56:57]  Look at that.
[00:56:58]  He slaps the chair every episode.
[00:56:59]  Now he's like, nah, don't take it out of your hand.
[00:57:02]  Felt trapped.
[00:57:04]  But that is fire.
[00:57:05]  Good present.
[00:57:05]  Thank you.
[00:57:06]  Good present for the wife.
[00:57:07]  Thank you, Dove.
[00:57:10]  This is your work wife.
[00:57:11]  Still haven't got him anything for his wife.
[00:57:16]  Son, I got a birthday gift in May before he got a wedding gift for his December wedding.
[00:57:20]  What does that mean?
[00:57:21]  What does that mean?
[00:57:22]  I think it's a riddle.
[00:57:23]  I'm a bad person.
[00:57:25]  Yeah, you are a bad person, don't you?
[00:57:27]  The horse's name is Friday.
[00:57:30]  Have you seen that movie too?
[00:57:31]  No, I actually haven't.
[00:57:33]  Okay.
[00:57:33]  But they did do a table read of that this weekend.
[00:57:34]  That was fire.
[00:57:35]  Great movie.
[00:57:36]  What movie?
[00:57:36]  Friday.
[00:57:37]  No, Little Big League.
[00:57:39]  What the fuck is happening?
[00:57:41]  Yeah, what is going on?
[00:57:43]  What?
[00:57:44]  Are you serious?
[00:57:45]  The joke, he says the horse's name is Friday.
[00:57:47]  No, I thought he said, have you seen that movie?
[00:57:49]  And I was like, oh, the movie Friday.
[00:57:52]  No.
[00:57:53]  The baseball player comes in and says, a cowboy rides into town.
[00:57:57]  This is here.
[00:57:59]  Entertainment, right?
[00:58:02]  Friday, stop looking at feed.
[00:58:04]  Yo, a cowboy rides into town on Friday.
[00:58:06]  He stays three days and leaves on Friday.
[00:58:09]  How does he do it?
[00:58:10]  Oh, the horse's name is Friday.
[00:58:11]  The horse's name is Friday.
[00:58:12]  Little Big League.
[00:58:13]  Did you see the movie?
[00:58:14]  The kid inherits the team?
[00:58:16]  No.
[00:58:17]  He's still going.
[00:58:18]  Hey, Dove, can we look at your Explore page and see more boring shit like that?
[00:58:22]  No, no.
[00:58:23]  You got a bunch of riddles over there?
[00:58:25]  Bitches?
[00:58:25]  Oh, Dove got it crazy.
[00:58:27]  Let me see.
[00:58:28]  Oh, I can't wait to see this.
[00:58:30]  All right, guys, we're going to take a break for a second because I got to tell you all about Cerebral.
[00:58:34]  Okay.
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[00:59:43]  Now, let's get back to this show.
[00:59:44]  All right, guys, we're going to take a break for a second because I have to make an apology to one of our sponsors.
[00:59:50]  We have a new sponsor, Exodus.
[00:59:52]  And last week on the podcast, I thought I knew what the brand was about.
[00:59:55]  And I was telling people this was a service and it will basically move all the Jews out of your neighborhood.
[01:00:02]  I thought it was inspired by obviously the Bible and the story of Exodus.
[01:00:06]  I was wrong.
[01:00:07]  That's on me.
[01:00:08]  I am taking accountability for that.
[01:00:10]  That is not what Exodus does.
[01:00:12]  It does not remove the Jews from your neighborhood or your country and put them into the desert for 30 or some odd days where they just kind of wander around looking for their homeland.
[01:00:23]  That's my fault.
[01:00:25]  Okay?
[01:00:25]  So, apology.
[01:00:26]  What is Exodus?
[01:00:28]  Turns out a great company.
[01:00:29]  Basically, what they do: one-stop shop for all of your crypto needs.
[01:00:33]  That's it.
[01:00:34]  Everything you need to buy, right there.
[01:00:36]  You need to buy cryptocurrency?
[01:00:37]  Boom, you got that.
[01:00:38]  You need to store your NFTs.
[01:00:40]  Boom, you got that.
[01:00:41]  You need to stake crypto?
[01:00:42]  Boom, you got that.
[01:00:44]  Anything that you could possibly want to do.
[01:00:46]  Oh, also, they have the hard wallets as well.
[01:00:50]  Oh, shit.
[01:00:50]  The hard wallet's huge.
[01:00:51]  The hard wallet, the wallet in real life.
[01:00:53]  You want to snatch your coin, take it off of the internet?
[01:00:55]  You want to put it in the fucking palm of your hand?
[01:00:58]  You want to feel that crypto?
[01:01:00]  They got that, don't they?
[01:01:01]  That way people can't hack your shit.
[01:01:02]  Woo, that's beautiful.
[01:01:04]  That's absolutely beautiful.
[01:01:05]  Okay.
[01:01:05]  So what I'm saying is, Exodus has got your back.
[01:01:08]  Every single crypto need that you have, they deliver on.
[01:01:12]  That simple.
[01:01:14]  And I think that we can do a deal.
[01:01:16]  What kind of deal are you thinking?
[01:01:18]  I mean, you know, there's a lot of times fees when it comes to buying these cryptos.
[01:01:21]  That's true.
[01:01:22]  Fees add up.
[01:01:23]  They fucking add up, man.
[01:01:24]  Hundreds in fees, thousands in fees.
[01:01:26]  I think for a limited time, we can do a zero fee promotion where you can buy crypto in the mobile app with zero fees, purchase Bitcoin, Litecoin, Solana, and many other crypto assets at true cost with no fees added whatsoever.
[01:01:41]  All you got to do is go to Exodus, E-X-O-D-U-S dot com/slash zero.
[01:01:46]  Z-E-R-O, Exodus.com/slash zero.
[01:01:50]  I'm doing this.
[01:01:50]  Son, do you want to buy the dip?
[01:01:51]  You got to do it right now.
[01:01:53]  Oh, my God.
[01:01:53]  Now's the fucking time.
[01:01:54]  Now's the fucking time, bro.
[01:01:55]  Bitcoin going down.
[01:01:57]  Tumbling.
[01:01:57]  Gobble, gobble, gobble.
[01:01:59]  Let's get back to this show.
[01:02:00]  IG thought, super diesel black dude.
[01:02:03]  Let's go.
[01:02:05]  Golden retriever.
[01:02:06]  A lot of golden retrievers.
[01:02:08]  A yacht, a watch, another chick.
[01:02:12]  Migrants working.
[01:02:15]  Cristiano Ronaldo crying.
[01:02:17]  I don't know.
[01:02:17]  Why is he doing that?
[01:02:18]  One blue square, Dove.
[01:02:20]  Come on, yeah.
[01:02:21]  Not a single blue square.
[01:02:22]  More Russian models.
[01:02:23]  Models that kind of need him for citizenship or other things.
[01:02:29]  Any Jewish girls on his IGX?
[01:02:30]  Not a single Jewish girl.
[01:02:31]  Wow.
[01:02:32]  They could be Russian things.
[01:02:33]  It could be Russian Jews.
[01:02:34]  Not a single Jewish.
[01:02:36]  Yeah.
[01:02:36]  He got when he said that.
[01:02:37]  The whole idea turned him off.
[01:02:38]  Wait, why?
[01:02:39]  You don't like Jewish girls, dude.
[01:02:40]  He's turning.
[01:02:41]  But a Russian Jew is like, it's basically white.
[01:02:44]  We genuinely need to find Dove a wife.
[01:02:46]  I'm not even joking.
[01:02:47]  Like, I need the asshole army to get behind this.
[01:02:50]  How would you do it?
[01:02:50]  What's like, what's his criteria?
[01:02:52]  So here's the thing: we need to stop playing around with, here you go.
[01:02:56]  Whoa.
[01:02:57]  We need to stop playing around with non-Jews because it's just a waste of time.
[01:03:00]  And Dove goes through this thing where he like convinces himself like there might be an opportunity.
[01:03:04]  And then he soon realizes that if it's not Jewish, it's not even happening.
[01:03:07]  So we need Jewish women or people listening to this podcast that have friends.
[01:03:12]  They're Jewish women.
[01:03:13]  They have relatives.
[01:03:15]  Needs to be Jewish.
[01:03:19]  No, no, no.
[01:03:20]  I'm not even doing the half.
[01:03:21]  I'm sorry.
[01:03:22]  It's going to fall apart.
[01:03:23]  It's all going to come crumbling down.
[01:03:24]  Half is okay.
[01:03:26]  If the mom is Jewish.
[01:03:27]  It has to be mother's Jewish.
[01:03:29]  Okay.
[01:03:29]  And they have to be raised Jewish.
[01:03:31]  It has to be culturally ingrained.
[01:03:34]  Like the whole thing.
[01:03:35]  Big 100%.
[01:03:36]  Yeah.
[01:03:36]  I would even do dad's Jewish, but if they were raised Jewish as fuck, Jewish last name, the whole thing needs to be Jewish.
[01:03:45]  I need asshole army to help.
[01:03:46]  I need everybody spreading the word.
[01:03:48]  I need us to make this an actual thing.
[01:03:50]  We are getting our brother hitched.
[01:03:53]  Who's your dream girl?
[01:03:54]  Talk about the quality of the world.
[01:03:55]  No, Stop, stop, stop.
[01:03:56]  What are you doing?
[01:03:58]  No, I mean this sincerely.
[01:04:00]  No, This is wasting a time.
[01:04:02]  Let me just get this out.
[01:04:04]  Wait, you've wasted 38 years.
[01:04:05]  No, no, no, listen, listen.
[01:04:07]  I don't want to hear anything about wasted time from you anymore.
[01:04:09]  Listen, here's the reality.
[01:04:11]  He doesn't even go on dates with girls that are Jewish.
[01:04:14]  Right now, the dating pool can only be Jewish.
[01:04:17]  And from there, we will start finding the right connection.
[01:04:20]  Dove is trying to build a house from the top down.
[01:04:22]  Yes.
[01:04:23]  No foundation.
[01:04:24]  The foundation you require is that she is Jewish.
[01:04:26]  Yes.
[01:04:27]  So it's like from now on.
[01:04:28]  Start of the foundation.
[01:04:29]  Not even a single date if they're not Jewish.
[01:04:31]  I don't even want you going for a single hookup if they're not Jewish.
[01:04:34]  Only Jewish.
[01:04:35]  If you talk to a girl at a bar, she's not Jewish.
[01:04:37]  No.
[01:04:38]  Don't waste your time anymore.
[01:04:40]  You're putting out all this emotional energy for something that you know is not going to work out when you deeply want to be married and have kids.
[01:04:46]  So right now, we're not playing games anymore.
[01:04:48]  Asshole Army, I need y'all to step up, take care of our boy.
[01:04:51]  Okay.
[01:04:51]  I love this.
[01:04:52]  This is, listen, I told you, what did I tell you?
[01:04:54]  I say, this is it.
[01:04:55]  I'm tired.
[01:04:56]  I'm done.
[01:04:57]  We're getting you married.
[01:04:58]  Arranged marriage, baby.
[01:05:00]  That's it, right?
[01:05:00]  We're getting you married.
[01:05:01]  And listen, it will happen.
[01:05:02]  Everybody, I'm telling you right now, I am dead serious.
[01:05:05]  We are finding Dove a wife.
[01:05:07]  You guys can make it happen.
[01:05:09]  Okay?
[01:05:10]  No fucking Raya profile.
[01:05:12]  No Tinder.
[01:05:13]  What's the other shit?
[01:05:14]  J-Swipe and all this thing.
[01:05:16]  J-Day.
[01:05:17]  J-Day's cool.
[01:05:20]  The people.
[01:05:21]  The people.
[01:05:22]  The chosen people.
[01:05:23]  What are the chosen people?
[01:05:24]  Mark the gentleman that's not the same.
[01:05:27]  That's secondary.
[01:05:28]  Just Jewish.
[01:05:28]  Not going on dates with a girl.
[01:05:30]  What about the bat?
[01:05:30]  I'm not attracted.
[01:05:31]  Jewish.
[01:05:32]  22.
[01:05:33]  Jewish.
[01:05:38]  Jewish.
[01:05:41]  We got to try something different.
[01:05:42]  I know that you're saying raise the age a little bit from what he's used to, but I think we got to go even up further because tribe matter Ethiopian Jews?
[01:05:50]  No, no, no.
[01:05:52]  Just Jewish.
[01:05:52]  He would love Ethiopian, but just Jewish.
[01:05:55]  And that's where we'll start.
[01:05:56]  And then we're going to start collecting.
[01:05:58]  Yes.
[01:05:58]  We're going to collect.
[01:05:59]  Let's get 100 to go through.
[01:06:00]  And it's not going to work out.
[01:06:01]  Some of these girls aren't going to like you.
[01:06:03]  You're not going to like some of these girls.
[01:06:04]  And it is what it is.
[01:06:04]  But at least if we start with a dating pool where if it works out, if you actually have that connection, it can work because of this stupid requirement.
[01:06:12]  You have can we bring them on the podcast to meet him?
[01:06:14]  I don't think it's a stupid requirement, Dove.
[01:06:15]  I have the same requirement for Indians, so you just got to start there.
[01:06:18]  Your girl's a different religion than you.
[01:06:20]  I only need an Indian.
[01:06:21]  Dumbass?
[01:06:23]  There's two billion Indians.
[01:06:26]  What are you talking about?
[01:06:27]  Yeah, same requirement.
[01:06:28]  Two billion Indians.
[01:06:29]  You couldn't even get one from your same religion.
[01:06:31]  I never cared if they're the same religion.
[01:06:32]  Hindus don't care if you're the same religion.
[01:06:35]  I've said that from the jump.
[01:06:37]  Matter of fact, you grilled me about this for hours when we first met, and I told you they just need to be Indian culturally.
[01:06:42]  That's it.
[01:06:42]  That's all I care about.
[01:06:43]  This is cap.
[01:06:45]  Religion is the most important thing to me.
[01:06:46]  So I need to make sure that.
[01:06:47]  Yeah, but my faith accepts all of the faiths.
[01:06:49]  It's not a faith that's a universal donor.
[01:06:50]  Universal donor.
[01:06:51]  Yeah, we're universal donor, universal recipients.
[01:06:53]  Caveat.
[01:06:54]  There you go.
[01:06:54]  Fired.
[01:06:54]  No, you met a really hot Indian girl, and you're like, what's religion?
[01:06:59]  That's really what happened.
[01:07:00]  The only religion accepts everything, doesn't it?
[01:07:02]  No, the only accepted dating.
[01:07:04]  You guys were fucking slaughtering Muslims for a while.
[01:07:06]  They weren't accepting that religion.
[01:07:07]  Remember that?
[01:07:08]  Muslims are not.
[01:07:09]  Remember when you guys divided the whole fucking country because of religion?
[01:07:12]  Actually, that was Muslims.
[01:07:14]  Muslims did like this.
[01:07:15]  Muslims made Pakistan in India.
[01:07:17]  Vala?
[01:07:18]  India had no part of that.
[01:07:20]  Mama hated his phone because he had to be a part of the world.
[01:07:21]  India had no part of that.
[01:07:23]  It was India.
[01:07:23]  Muslims wanted their own country because they thought they could outvoted on everything.
[01:07:26]  I didn't think it was the dumbest idea.
[01:07:28]  The theory's not wrong.
[01:07:30]  But it was Muslims that wanted their own country.
[01:07:32]  Yo, yo, very accepting of Muslims in India or what?
[01:07:36]  I mean, a bringing in slaughter.
[01:07:38]  Wait, what happened to that?
[01:07:39]  Sorry, wait, okay.
[01:07:41]  Muslims got slaughtered by Hindus?
[01:07:43]  They were getting slaughtered.
[01:07:44]  We had no rights.
[01:07:46]  Yeah, they had no rights.
[01:07:46]  Nobody had rights.
[01:07:47]  It was all Britain.
[01:07:48]  We had no rights.
[01:07:49]  Oh, that was our fault.
[01:07:51]  It was our fault.
[01:07:51]  Brown Brown Crime is our fault.
[01:07:54]  Oh, you have rights.
[01:07:54]  We have rights.
[01:07:55]  I see how it is.
[01:07:56]  I know, you know what I mean?
[01:07:57]  See what they do?
[01:07:58]  See what they do.
[01:07:58]  White devils are broken.
[01:07:59]  It's always the white man's fault.
[01:08:01]  Always the white man's fault.
[01:08:02]  It is.
[01:08:03]  It was your fault.
[01:08:04]  Yes.
[01:08:04]  Yeah.
[01:08:05]  100%.
[01:08:06]  Yeah, bro.
[01:08:08]  It is what it is.
[01:08:09]  We out here puppet mastering your little shit.
[01:08:11]  Yo, I hate the English, bro.
[01:08:12]  Yeah.
[01:08:13]  They fucked up French Canada.
[01:08:14]  Remember that?
[01:08:15]  Yeah.
[01:08:15]  Remember that?
[01:08:16]  Fucked that whole thing up.
[01:08:18]  Okay, so back to what we're saying is you can.
[01:08:21]  Dove has literally a few thousand women that are alive that he can date.
[01:08:24]  And only a few years left for him.
[01:08:26]  And a few years left.
[01:08:26]  Yeah.
[01:08:27]  Did I just kill myself?
[01:08:28]  No.
[01:08:28]  You're just very old for the dating.
[01:08:30]  I'm extremely old.
[01:08:31]  Not in New York.
[01:08:32]  No, for the Jewish dating pool-year-old.
[01:08:34]  For Jewish dating pool-year-old.
[01:08:35]  Not in New York.
[01:08:36]  Yes.
[01:08:37]  LA, I was feeling it.
[01:08:38]  New York.
[01:08:40]  New York.
[01:08:40]  Six years younger, baby.
[01:08:43]  That's why he moves here.
[01:08:44]  I thought you weren't going to be with us.
[01:08:45]  All I'm saying is, Jews get married younger.
[01:08:48]  They tend to get married younger, start families younger.
[01:08:50]  Yeah, but for men, does it matter?
[01:08:51]  Yes.
[01:08:52]  Because all the young Jews that are ready to get married, which are the ones that he's going to be attracted to, they're going to already be hitched.
[01:08:59]  And keep it real, if it's a girl who's 35 years old and is not married and Jewish, your red flags are going crazy.
[01:09:05]  You're like, why aren't you married?
[01:09:07]  So you...
[01:09:08]  I know.
[01:09:09]  I know.
[01:09:10]  And it is what it is.
[01:09:11]  It's impossible.
[01:09:12]  But what we're doing is asshole army, we're going to find the diamond in the rough.
[01:09:15]  It's going to happen.
[01:09:17]  I'm fucking here, dude.
[01:09:18]  Hey, we need to rate you, okay?
[01:09:22]  You know what would really help my girlfriend?
[01:09:24]  Can we do a rating?
[01:09:25]  Rate yourself right now.
[01:09:26]  JP Morgan to Chase.
[01:09:30]  720.
[01:09:31]  720.
[01:09:34]  Fucking Rothschild, baby.
[01:09:36]  First of all, I will say this.
[01:09:37]  My credit score is fire.
[01:09:39]  Really?
[01:09:39]  Spectacular.
[01:09:40]  Oh, what a surprise.
[01:09:42]  Yeah.
[01:09:42]  Nobody have a low credit score.
[01:09:44]  Yeah.
[01:09:44]  I mean, you can call someone over there, right?
[01:09:46]  But I wouldn't.
[01:09:49]  Don't you guys have like a line?
[01:09:51]  720 was offensive.
[01:09:55]  Okay, so just so we know that what we're doing here is we're getting everybody same religion.
[01:10:00]  Same religion.
[01:10:01]  We'll work from there and then we do it.
[01:10:03]  But it's going to be hard.
[01:10:07]  You know what would make it?
[01:10:08]  Because you wait so long.
[01:10:08]  You wait so long.
[01:10:09]  How about this?
[01:10:11]  Do a show in Tel Aviv.
[01:10:14]  You're not going to have to deck a little bit.
[01:10:15]  Can I be honest with you?
[01:10:17]  You can't handle an Israeli girl.
[01:10:19]  I don't handle it.
[01:10:21]  They were in the military, bro.
[01:10:22]  It's like they will walk all over you.
[01:10:26]  They will run you down into the dirt.
[01:10:28]  You need, if I'm being completely honest, an Asian Jew.
[01:10:33]  Does that exist?
[01:10:34]  By the way?
[01:10:35]  What do you mean?
[01:10:36]  They're making them like hotcakes in LA.
[01:10:38]  There's a lot of half Asians.
[01:10:39]  Every Jewish guy who gets divorced from his Jewish wife remarries Asian.
[01:10:44]  Super hot, half Asian, half Jewish kids.
[01:10:47]  Or like Silicon Valley nerdy Jews with Asian wives.
[01:10:53]  Okay.
[01:10:53]  Zuckerberg.
[01:10:54]  Very hot.
[01:10:56]  Zuckerberg got an Asian wife.
[01:10:58]  Yeah.
[01:10:58]  So that's what you need.
[01:10:59]  You need an Asian wife that's going to let you think that you're controlling things, even though she's really running the whole house.
[01:11:06]  But she's going to let you think publicly.
[01:11:08]  Yeah.
[01:11:08]  And she might be listening right now.
[01:11:09]  So what do you want to say to her really quick?
[01:11:10]  Shalom.
[01:11:11]  Okay.
[01:11:12]  Nothing.
[01:11:13]  We got to try it out.
[01:11:14]  We just.
[01:11:14]  I trust the army, not the girls.
[01:11:18]  Set it up.
[01:11:18]  The IDF.
[01:11:19]  Let's go.

=== Jewish Divorce Patterns Explained (06:58) ===

[01:11:20]  We got this.
[01:11:20]  I mean this in Serie.
[01:11:21]  Asshole Army.
[01:11:22]  We're going to get our brother married.
[01:11:23]  We're going to do this.
[01:11:24]  We can do this together.
[01:11:25]  We unite and we're going to make this fucking thing happen.
[01:11:28]  I've never been to a Jewish wedding.
[01:11:29]  Would love to go.
[01:11:30]  His shit is going to be Moroccan.
[01:11:32]  It's more like, it's more active.
[01:11:33]  That's actually perfect.
[01:11:34]  It's better.
[01:11:35]  Yeah, because you still get the Jewish wedding, but ground fun.
[01:11:38]  And Japanese elements.
[01:11:39]  Oh, my God.
[01:11:40]  That'll be fun.
[01:11:41]  What is that about?
[01:11:42]  His wife.
[01:11:43]  Oh, yes.
[01:11:46]  Oh, a Japanese Jew.
[01:11:47]  Yeah, Jap.
[01:11:48]  Literally.
[01:11:49]  Japanese American president.
[01:11:50]  Literally.
[01:11:52]  That's where you have it.
[01:11:54]  That's literally what you need.
[01:11:56]  Yo, we found it.
[01:11:57]  Let's rock.
[01:11:58]  Okay.
[01:11:59]  What else we got going on, boys?
[01:12:00]  All right, you want to talk about UFC fight from this week?
[01:12:02]  First of all, shout out to Rogan for hooking that up, man.
[01:12:05]  That was awesome.
[01:12:06]  We finished the tour in Vancouver.
[01:12:08]  Shout out to everybody in Vancouver.
[01:12:09]  That was incredible finishing the tour there, like walking on stage for the last time.
[01:12:12]  It was a wild experience.
[01:12:13]  You get emotional?
[01:12:14]  I haven't processed it yet, so I didn't get emotional.
[01:12:18]  But like, yeah, just like, I think, I think when we release this special, that's when I'll get emotional because it's like that material is now gone.
[01:12:28]  But right now, this material is still there.
[01:12:30]  Right, right, right.
[01:12:31]  So I can tour.
[01:12:32]  Right.
[01:12:33]  But once we go into special mode and that goes out there into the world, then it's like we start from scratch.
[01:12:39]  So that's going to be a cool experience.
[01:12:41]  But we go to UFC and Rogan hooks it up and we watch those fights and it was fucking crazy.
[01:12:48]  Like it was just, I mean, there was one fight that was the most boring fight that I've ever seen in my entire life.
[01:12:53]  It was between the two chicks.
[01:12:55]  And I think that they threw like a total of 30 punches the whole fight or something like that.
[01:12:59]  I don't know, to be honest.
[01:13:00]  I don't know.
[01:13:01]  Because that's the same role we saw knock that girl out with a kick.
[01:13:04]  She is a fierce, incredible fighter.
[01:13:06]  Doug Rose.
[01:13:07]  She's brilliant.
[01:13:08]  I'm just saying that her corner just gave her that advice of just wait and then counter her when she comes to attack you.
[01:13:15]  But if she doesn't attack, then you're fucked.
[01:13:18]  It's like what happened with one of the Izzy fights.
[01:13:20]  I remember the guy just.
[01:13:21]  Oh, Yoel Romero.
[01:13:22]  Yes.
[01:13:22]  And there were so many more strikes thrown in that one because Izzy started chopping up the leg.
[01:13:28]  Yeah.
[01:13:28]  Like, but 100% that.
[01:13:30]  Right.
[01:13:30]  So it's like, yeah, it was, but, I mean, the fucking Tony Ferguson, Michael Chandler.
[01:13:36]  Insane.
[01:13:37]  I mean, the knockout was unbelievable.
[01:13:40]  You got to see.
[01:13:40]  Bring this up.
[01:13:41]  I've seen the still of it.
[01:13:42]  It's crazy.
[01:13:42]  Oh, my God.
[01:13:43]  He was on the ground for minutes.
[01:13:45]  We thought he died.
[01:13:46]  Yeah.
[01:13:46]  We thought he died.
[01:13:48]  Yeah.
[01:13:48]  Like, it was completely gone.
[01:13:51]  Lights shut out.
[01:13:52]  Tony Ferguson has never been KO'd like that before.
[01:13:54]  I mean, look at this.
[01:13:56]  Look at this.
[01:13:57]  And gone.
[01:14:00]  I mean, absolutely, perfectly timed kick.
[01:14:04]  For two minutes.
[01:14:05]  Fuck.
[01:14:06]  He was just out.
[01:14:09]  Oh, my goodness.
[01:14:10]  And then we saw the main event was amazing as well.
[01:14:13]  This guy, Charles Olivera, is something else, dude.
[01:14:15]  Yeah.
[01:14:15]  I mean, Justin Gacey is awesome, but like Charles Olivera, this is the craziest thing.
[01:14:19]  So he's a jiu-jitsu expert that got great striking game as well.
[01:14:24]  But Jiu-Jitsu is the base.
[01:14:26]  So it's so hard to finish him because in the first round, Gaiti knocks him down twice.
[01:14:32]  Hurts him.
[01:14:33]  But once he goes down, he goes on his back.
[01:14:35]  And Gaiety has to let him up because it's more dangerous for Gage to go on top of him when he's on the ground because he's a Jiu-Jitsu expert.
[01:14:44]  So he literally has to let him recover and get back up.
[01:14:50]  Isn't that crazy?
[01:14:51]  Think about this.
[01:14:52]  You're fighting a guy.
[01:14:53]  When you knock him down, he becomes more dangerous.
[01:14:56]  Yeah.
[01:14:58]  Mentally going into that fight.
[01:14:59]  I didn't see the fight.
[01:15:00]  He didn't stun him when he knocked him down.
[01:15:01]  He did.
[01:15:02]  That's the thing.
[01:15:02]  Don't you have like a couple of seconds where you can just try to get down?
[01:15:05]  You got to be sure he's stunned.
[01:15:06]  Yeah.
[01:15:07]  What often happens with jiu-jitsu guys is if they get a little bit wobbled, they just go back.
[01:15:12]  Yeah, and that was that second one.
[01:15:13]  He got hit a little and then just fell and like laid there.
[01:15:16]  Yeah, he threw like a front kick and kind of leaned back into it.
[01:15:18]  But it's like you get to recover and you become even more dangerous.
[01:15:22]  Yeah.
[01:15:23]  Right?
[01:15:23]  Like when you get stunned, your legs are the ones that are a little wobbly.
[01:15:26]  But if you're on your back, you're good to go.
[01:15:30]  He knows that he wants him to jump on him.
[01:15:31]  He wants it.
[01:15:32]  And then, so Justin would let him up every single time.
[01:15:34]  Now, I'm assuming Justin's strategy was to really crack him and catch him and then be able to knock him out kind of on his feet, which could work.
[01:15:40]  Of course.
[01:15:41]  But it's like, if you look at Justin's fights, he's more of like a cumulative KO guy.
[01:15:46]  Like he'll tag you, hurt you, drop you, but it's like cumulative punches.
[01:15:50]  And also, Charles Olivera did something that's really interesting that I haven't that like mitigated Gacey's attack.
[01:15:55]  So Gacey starts chewing up your leg.
[01:15:58]  He does these big kicks to your front leg so that you can't plant your front leg and jab and strike, et cetera.
[01:16:05]  And what Olivera did is instead of checking the kick, so checking means you like turn your shin out so it's shin on shin and hurts the person kicking you as well, right?
[01:16:14]  Instead of checking the kick, he would just kick his leg back.
[01:16:17]  So he did this thing where he just went and then he would just strike and miss.
[01:16:22]  And it completely destroyed Gacey's attack.
[01:16:26]  Yeah.
[01:16:26]  Like he just timed it.
[01:16:27]  He could see it happening in the moment.
[01:16:29]  It was like, brilliant.
[01:16:29]  I never saw anybody do that.
[01:16:30]  Like, why has nobody done that with the leg?
[01:16:33]  Yeah, it makes the most sense.
[01:16:34]  The shin to shin thing you explained to me, and I was like, that's so fucking crazy that the only defense is we both shatter our shins?
[01:16:39]  Yeah, dude.
[01:16:41]  Anyway, so it's like, I saw that and I was like, wow, I guess a lot more people are going to start doing that.
[01:16:45]  I mean, because Gacey's whole beginning of his attack is chew away your fucking leg.
[01:16:50]  Now you can't even walk.
[01:16:51]  You can't plant.
[01:16:52]  Like you can't jab against him.
[01:16:54]  And he just walked right through that.
[01:16:55]  This Oliver, dude, I don't know who beats him.
[01:16:57]  I mean, it was just he doesn't have the belt, though, right?
[01:17:00]  He didn't make weight because he didn't make a half a pound over.
[01:17:02]  Yeah, and there's this weird controversy.
[01:17:04]  They're saying that when he weighed in at the night before at the hotel using the digital scale provided by the UFC, he weighed 155 and the day of.
[01:17:16]  The day of the weighing.
[01:17:17]  Yeah, both.
[01:17:18]  And so he weighed up.
[01:17:19]  So what they're saying is that somebody messed with the scale and a bunch of the fighters were about 0.5 over.
[01:17:25]  Ah.
[01:17:25]  Now, to be fair, he's the only one that missed weight.
[01:17:29]  So these other guys managed to make weight.
[01:17:31]  But for a title fight, you have to come in on the number.
[01:17:34]  For other fights, you can come in 155.5 or 170.5.
[01:17:40]  Okay.
[01:17:40]  So if it wasn't a title fight, he would have been able to fight.
[01:17:43]  But still, it's like such a bummer, right?
[01:17:46]  Yeah.
[01:17:46]  It's like you did what you had to do.
[01:17:48]  You weighed in.
[01:17:48]  The digital scale said you're at the weight.
[01:17:50]  He said he didn't have anything to eat or drink the rest of the night.
[01:17:54]  I believe that.
[01:17:54]  Yeah.
[01:17:55]  And then it comes down and it's like, oh, it's actually the scale's kind of fault.
[01:17:59]  Yeah.
[01:17:59]  Because if you knew that the night before, you could sweat it out.
[01:18:01]  You can get in the fucking hot tub.
[01:18:02]  You can do these things.
[01:18:04]  Ugh, such a shame.
[01:18:05]  But another amazing card watching fucking MMA Live is incredible.
[01:18:09]  Was it cool to see Rogan going nuts with DC, fucking doing all that?
[01:18:12]  Oh, yeah, dude.
[01:18:13]  We had a better shot of him the last time we were there, but like, yeah, it was just, it was just fun.

=== Weighing In At The Scale (03:52) ===

[01:18:19]  And then we went out to dinner after that.
[01:18:20]  And that was fucking great.
[01:18:22]  Yeah, yeah.
[01:18:23]  We can talk about that.
[01:18:23]  Yeah, yeah.
[01:18:24]  This is the funniest thing ever.
[01:18:25]  Yeah.
[01:18:26]  We're all sitting there.
[01:18:27]  Like we go to the steakhouse, we go to like this back room.
[01:18:29]  We're all sitting there.
[01:18:30]  And first off, the guy that's serving us, I'd never really seen this like this before.
[01:18:34]  But like we're in Phoenix, I guess maybe they hadn't had people like Rogan.
[01:18:37]  They were like a little nervous.
[01:18:39]  But the guy's serving and he's like telling us the whole menu.
[01:18:41]  He's like, okay, tonight we're going to have a market salad and we have the fish or whatever.
[01:18:46]  Dude, he goes through like four minutes of the items on the menu.
[01:18:51]  He's murdering me.
[01:18:52]  All memorized?
[01:18:53]  Bro, it's like Eminem's eight-mile wrap at the end of it.
[01:18:58]  And he knows he's crushing it.
[01:19:00]  And it's in front of Rogan and it's a big fucking deal.
[01:19:03]  Like, you know, obviously he probably knows me as well, but like Rogan is in the room.
[01:19:08]  Yeah.
[01:19:09]  And then he fumbles and he forgets what he's saying.
[01:19:13]  He just kind of goes, oh, sorry.
[01:19:16]  I forgot what I was saying there.
[01:19:17]  And then as a joke, I go, start it over.
[01:19:23]  He gets a big laugh.
[01:19:24]  Everybody's laughing.
[01:19:25]  Then he just goes, Okay, so we have two shelf.
[01:19:29]  I don't, wait, wait, I don't even know that he's starting it from the beginning, right?
[01:19:33]  We all laugh.
[01:19:34]  I don't even know he started because I tuned out the whole fucking time anyway.
[01:19:37]  And then all of a sudden, Rogan just goes, Are you really fucking starting at my beautiful, bro?
[01:19:43]  And then he goes, Oh, yeah, he said so.
[01:19:47]  And I was like, Dude, nobody's paying attention anyway.
[01:19:49]  It's just fucking safe.
[01:19:50]  We know what we're gonna cut.
[01:19:51]  But like, I love these fancy restaurants because they have all these formalities that make no sense, they're super inconvenient.
[01:19:55]  So, there's another kid that comes in, and he's dressed like fucking Ratatouille.
[01:19:59]  He's got like he's got like the chef outfit with the double buttons and the whole deal.
[01:20:03]  But he's probably like a 23-year-old kid, like super sweet.
[01:20:05]  I love this kid.
[01:20:06]  He's so nice, but shout out to Angel.
[01:20:08]  Bro, Angel busts in the room, and everyone's talking.
[01:20:10]  We're all having a good time.
[01:20:11]  Like, conversation is going great.
[01:20:13]  And all of a sudden, he comes in and he's like, You can like feel you can feel the flutter in his voice as soon as he starts talking.
[01:20:21]  When I tell you, he's holding a comical amount of waters, he probably has 12 waters in his hands, like 12 like Oktoberfest, glass bottles.
[01:20:28]  He looks like a fucking Oktoberfest girl.
[01:20:30]  He's like, Hey, hey, everybody.
[01:20:33]  My name is Angel, and I'm the assistant server tonight.
[01:20:37]  And would anyone like Still or Sparkling?
[01:20:40]  And everyone's like, Yeah, Still is great.
[01:20:42]  Okay.
[01:20:42]  And the conversation is now silent.
[01:20:44]  Everyone that was talking is now dead silent.
[01:20:45]  He's walking around.
[01:20:46]  He's pouring water and his hand is shaking as he's pouring everyone's cup.
[01:20:49]  And then he gets around and he goes, I'm going to be honest, guys.
[01:20:53]  I'm really nervous right now.
[01:20:57]  And then he walks around as Schultz.
[01:20:59]  He pours water.
[01:21:00]  He goes, Oh man, Adam Schultz is here.
[01:21:04]  He goes, He goes, Adam Schultz is here.
[01:21:06]  He goes, I'm a big fan.
[01:21:07]  I go, Okay.
[01:21:10]  It's actually Andrew.
[01:21:11]  And he goes, He goes, Oh, okay.
[01:21:12]  Okay.
[01:21:12]  Yeah.
[01:21:12]  Sorry about that.
[01:21:13]  It's okay.
[01:21:13]  I'm just a little nervous.
[01:21:14]  And he goes, Okay.
[01:21:15]  Then he comes back in.
[01:21:16]  He comes back in to refill, right?
[01:21:18]  He comes back in and refill the cup.
[01:21:20]  He goes, Yes, yes.
[01:21:21]  Dude, so crazy, man.
[01:21:22]  Like, Andrew Santino, I'm such a big fan.
[01:21:25]  No, he did it.
[01:21:28]  Adam Schultz.
[01:21:29]  There's no way.
[01:21:30]  I corrected to Andrew, and then he goes, Yeah, Andrew Santino.
[01:21:33]  It's like so crazy that you're here right now.
[01:21:36]  Bro, he called me Carrot Tom.
[01:21:38]  Can you believe that?
[01:21:39]  He literally said that.
[01:21:40]  But I'm looking at him.
[01:21:40]  I'm like, bro, you came in the room.
[01:21:42]  You said two pieces of information.
[01:21:43]  Okay.
[01:21:43]  You said, yo, my name is Angel.
[01:21:46]  I work here and I really shouldn't.
[01:21:49]  Like, we believe you work here.
[01:21:50]  You're dressed like a chef with hundreds of waters.
[01:21:53]  You don't need to say that part.
[01:21:54]  Bro, I mean, there was a lot of like fun shit that we were chopping up that night, but this was a really fun part.
[01:21:59]  We order some desserts, right?
[01:22:01]  And this is so funny.
[01:22:03]  So the desserts are around the table.
[01:22:05]  Everybody's kind of picking it.
[01:22:07]  And Val is eating this one that looks like a Ferrero Roger or whatever.
[01:22:10]  You say it wrong every time.

=== Andrew Santino Calls Me Carrot Tom (08:40) ===

[01:22:11]  How do you say it?
[01:22:12]  Ferrero.
[01:22:13]  What?
[01:22:14]  A Ferrero Rocher.
[01:22:15]  Ferrero Rocher.
[01:22:17]  That is Rocher.
[01:22:18]  I would say Rocher.
[01:22:19]  It's Rocher.
[01:22:19]  You fucking chunk.
[01:22:21]  You fucking bust.
[01:22:24]  I don't go.
[01:22:26]  Cut his mic.
[01:22:28]  So cut his mic.
[01:22:29]  Ferrero Rocher is a big, but it's like a big one.
[01:22:31]  It's got like pudding and all the shit in it.
[01:22:33]  So I go to Vala and, you know, we don't eat dessert.
[01:22:36]  We don't eat bread.
[01:22:36]  Yeah, we've never had dessert in my life.
[01:22:38]  We never do that.
[01:22:39]  So that's our running joke, right?
[01:22:41]  Which Joe doesn't know.
[01:22:43]  So I go, Vala, how's that?
[01:22:45]  How's that dessert over there?
[01:22:46]  As if I'm teasing him for eating.
[01:22:48]  And he goes, oh, no, you're not going to like this.
[01:22:50]  No, no, no, no.
[01:22:52]  This one's not good for you.
[01:22:53]  Joe thinks that Vala is being selfish with the dessert.
[01:22:59]  So Joe just goes, just goes, he goes, he goes, yes, yes, yes.
[01:23:04]  Oh, that sucks.
[01:23:06]  What are you just keeping a dessert over there?
[01:23:07]  No, it's for everybody.
[01:23:09]  You got to share the dessert and then physically removes the dessert from Vala.
[01:23:15]  Because in his eye, he's going, he's like, I'm paying for this dinner for everybody.
[01:23:18]  You're not going to keep the dessert that we're all sharing.
[01:23:22]  And I feel so bad, but I let him see.
[01:23:25]  It was awesome.
[01:23:26]  I leaned in.
[01:23:27]  I was like, yeah, dude, why don't you share a little bit?
[01:23:29]  You're a fucking dessert.
[01:23:30]  It was awesome.
[01:23:31]  And then Agent went up to Vaughn and was like, Joe Rogan, I'm a huge fan.
[01:23:34]  Like, what?
[01:23:37]  Oh, my God.
[01:23:39]  Bro, it was so much fun.
[01:23:40]  All right, guys.
[01:23:41]  Let's take a break for a second because you've heard me talk about how much I love Native.
[01:23:46]  The thoughtful formulation behind all their products is something I've always loved because they understand it's not just what's on the inside that counts, but also the outside.
[01:23:56]  That's why Native is releasing their deodorant that I know and love in new and improved plastic-free packaging.
[01:24:04]  I mean, that was the only thing that they had left.
[01:24:06]  That's it.
[01:24:07]  That was really the only thing they have left.
[01:24:08]  They're such a great company.
[01:24:09]  They take care of their products.
[01:24:11]  And now they're like, I need to be completely clean.
[01:24:13]  I'm getting plastic off of the products.
[01:24:16]  Crazy.
[01:24:16]  Off of the packaging.
[01:24:17]  Next level.
[01:24:18]  Just like all of Native's other deodorants, their plastic-free deodorant is aluminum and paraben-free, kills odor-causing bacteria, and has 24-hour odor protection to keep you feeling and smelling fresh.
[01:24:30]  With Native chews from 10 Cents, including their classic coconut vanilla-sensitive formulas that are formulated without baking soda and even unscented.
[01:24:40]  Ready to try plastic-free deodorant?
[01:24:44]  I know you are.
[01:24:45]  I know you are.
[01:24:46]  It's time.
[01:24:47]  Aluminum-free, everything-free.
[01:24:49]  Paraben-free.
[01:24:50]  All that.
[01:24:50]  All that.
[01:24:51]  And matter of fact, we're going to give you a discount.
[01:24:54]  It's almost going to be money-free.
[01:24:55]  Goddamn.
[01:24:56]  That's how nice we are over here, okay?
[01:24:58]  You go to nativedo.com/slash flagrant, and then you use the promo code flagrant at checkout.
[01:25:04]  You're going to get 20% off your first order.
[01:25:07]  That's nativedeo.com slash flagrant.
[01:25:11]  Or use the promo code flagrant at checkout for 20% off your first order.
[01:25:15]  Smell better.
[01:25:16]  Now let's get back to the show.
[01:25:18]  All right, everybody, we back.
[01:25:20]  Let's do some feelings, no facts, Marquito.
[01:25:22]  What do we got?
[01:25:22]  I just wanted to show you this random video that I found on the internet.
[01:25:25]  Okay.
[01:25:25]  Someone, I saw it as a hypothetical.
[01:25:27]  It was like, oh, do you think there's any white kids that grew up in Asian countries that learned the language and now they only speak, and then they learned English and now they speak English with an Asian accent?
[01:25:37]  Oh, this guy is a hero.
[01:25:39]  And they found one.
[01:25:40]  Thank fucking God.
[01:25:42]  So this is a white kid that grew up in Singapore.
[01:25:44]  Which one is the white kid?
[01:25:45]  Okay.
[01:25:47]  And this is what he actually sounds like.
[01:25:49]  Okay.
[01:25:50]  Speak Winglish.
[01:25:51]  White boy Singlish.
[01:25:53]  So Tyler, how long have you lived in Singapore?
[01:25:54]  Singapore?
[01:25:55]  Nine years already.
[01:25:56]  Nine years?
[01:25:57]  And then before that?
[01:25:58]  Two years in China.
[01:26:00]  Then somehow I got five years in the States.
[01:26:03]  Okay, do people treat you any differently?
[01:26:05]  Like, you know.
[01:26:08]  She just laughed at an Asian accent, so it's funny.
[01:26:13]  It's funny, right?
[01:26:15]  It has nothing to do with the race.
[01:26:16]  It's just funny.
[01:26:17]  Bro, she laughed in his face and goes, all right.
[01:26:20]  Does anyone treat you different?
[01:26:21]  It's like, yeah, you.
[01:26:23]  Okay, keep going.
[01:26:24]  Wait, what are his parents?
[01:26:26]  Was he adopted?
[01:26:26]  Like, you just speak how your parents speak.
[01:26:29]  That's right.
[01:26:30]  Well, you don't sound Scottish.
[01:26:32]  I have the ability to.
[01:26:34]  I can put on the accent if I want.
[01:26:36]  And also, my mom doesn't have a very thick Scottish accent, but like, you can speak Hindi with an Indian accent.
[01:26:40]  You can speak with an Indian accent.
[01:26:42]  You can do better than he's doing.
[01:26:43]  Guys, not even trying.
[01:26:46]  Right?
[01:26:46]  He's probably trying a little.
[01:26:48]  His parents would talk.
[01:26:49]  I know nothing about his talk.
[01:26:50]  All right, keep going with this fucking wink.
[01:26:56]  Is that how you say that?
[01:26:58]  I don't know.
[01:26:59]  We just discovered a slur.
[01:27:00]  That's fun.
[01:27:01]  Wherever you went because you spoke differently?
[01:27:04]  Of course.
[01:27:05]  In local schools, only a blonde person had to do anything.
[01:27:09]  Always spend our one.
[01:27:10]  China, same thing.
[01:27:12]  They call me Jingfa.
[01:27:13]  Jingfa, golden hair.
[01:27:14]  Golden hair.
[01:27:16]  Can you speak, Mandarin?
[01:27:17]  Yeah, kai.
[01:27:17]  Do you still use it these days to get stuff?
[01:27:19]  Bangran.
[01:27:21]  Ooh, not bad.
[01:27:22]  So, Tyler, if you ever go to a hawker center, I'm sure you speak in your English.
[01:27:26]  Are they ever surprised?
[01:27:32]  You used to live in Japanese, like in a HDD hot land, right?
[01:27:35]  So, how was it like, you know, with neighbors and all that?
[01:27:38]  Yeah, the first year they didn't talk to us.
[01:27:40]  And after a while, they started, you know, talking, saying hi, go down to the hunker center, they say, hi.
[01:27:45]  But then we found out they knew a lot about us.
[01:27:48]  It was scary.
[01:27:49]  They were like, they knew where we were from.
[01:27:50]  They knew how I'm far.
[01:27:52]  Come from China.
[01:27:53]  I'm like, whoa.
[01:27:53]  So what is this?
[01:27:55]  The gossip is just like, you're an ass.
[01:27:58]  My favorite is the elevators.
[01:27:59]  That's always.
[01:28:00]  You go in, especially if it's like 24 or 44 down the one.
[01:28:04]  You got a long time there.
[01:28:05]  Okay.
[01:28:07]  Pause.
[01:28:08]  I'm so glad we got to this part because I want to say something.
[01:28:12]  If you look at the title, it says Singaporean white boy.
[01:28:15]  This is how they speak English in Singapore.
[01:28:18]  When we were in Singapore, English is the language of Singapore.
[01:28:21]  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
[01:28:22]  Okay.
[01:28:23]  So the English is spoken with this Asian accent.
[01:28:29]  They speak it fluently with the accent.
[01:28:32]  Right.
[01:28:32]  Like, and that is their first language.
[01:28:34]  Like, obviously, they'll have first language at home.
[01:28:36]  Maybe your family's Indian, so you speak Hindi, or your family's Chinese, you speak Chinese.
[01:28:40]  But when you're taught in school, you were taught Singaporean English.
[01:28:44]  So they speak like that when they're talking to one another.
[01:28:47]  It's like their Australian accent, but it's just their Singaporean accent.
[01:28:50]  It just happens to be Asian.
[01:28:52]  So that is how he speaks.
[01:28:53]  But he can also speak like a regular fucking white guy as well.
[01:28:57]  But that made way more sense to me because I would die laughing when I was in Singapore because their first, there were people that only spoke English.
[01:29:05]  They're Asians that only spoke English with that accent.
[01:29:08]  You hear an Asian speak English with that accent, you're like, oh, you got some Chinese, some Japanese, some Korean, something else is on deck.
[01:29:14]  But there was motherfuckers that were like, I don't speak none of that.
[01:29:17]  I just speak like I don't know any languages.
[01:29:21]  You know what I'm saying?
[01:29:22]  Isn't that crazy?
[01:29:23]  That's kind of wild.
[01:29:24]  There was a hilarious comic.
[01:29:25]  Jin, I think his name was.
[01:29:27]  Yeah.
[01:29:27]  And he spoke Chinese and shit, but didn't speak any English.
[01:29:30]  Couldn't speak Chinese, but he spoke with a super thick Asian accent on his English.
[01:29:35]  And it was like, you're in no man's land.
[01:29:37]  Yeah.
[01:29:38]  You can't speak the language that your accent dictates that you should be able to.
[01:29:44]  And you're fluent in English, but the average person speaking to you is like, this guy don't even speak English.
[01:29:47]  There's kids in India that go to schools where they speak English and the parents will only teach them English and they think that they're like going to fit in better when they get here.
[01:29:55]  And it's like, no, you're not.
[01:29:56]  Because you're still going to speak with an Indian accent.
[01:29:58]  You're going to speak English with a Hindi accent.
[01:30:00]  So we're not going to look at you like the same.
[01:30:02]  But do they at least have Hindi as a background?
[01:30:04]  Some kids don't.
[01:30:05]  See, that's crazy.
[01:30:06]  And then my cousin was telling me, we'll laugh at those kids.
[01:30:08]  Like, we make fun of them.
[01:30:09]  Like, they think they're superior.
[01:30:10]  And we're like, y'all are losers.
[01:30:11]  Yeah.
[01:30:11]  Because you still don't fit in with them.
[01:30:13]  Yeah.
[01:30:13]  I mean, that was, I loved how he just did that straight face to those two Asians.
[01:30:18]  That was a real moment.
[01:30:19]  Yeah, that was wild.
[01:30:20]  But also, that's his culture.
[01:30:21]  That's what he knows.
[01:30:22]  That's how he grew up speaking.
[01:30:23]  Yeah.
[01:30:23]  Golden Hen, baby.
[01:30:24]  The golden motherfucking hair.
[01:30:27]  Golden Hen.
[01:30:28]  Golden Hen.
[01:30:28]  Golden hair.
[01:30:29]  I thought they said golden hen.
[01:30:30]  Why would they say golden hen?
[01:30:31]  It's more insulting.
[01:30:32]  Uh-oh.
[01:30:33]  He just says blonde hair, dude.
[01:30:34]  I feel like that's what he said.
[01:30:35]  What did you think golden hen meant?
[01:30:37]  I don't know.
[01:30:37]  I thought it was like a term they used over there.
[01:30:39]  I don't know.
[01:30:39]  The year of the chicken.
[01:30:40]  I don't fucking know.
[01:30:42]  This guy's a real racist, dude.
[01:30:44]  All right, I'm going to challenge you.
[01:30:45]  Okay.
[01:30:45]  I'm going to show you one 10-second video.
[01:30:48]  If you laugh, you owe me $1,000.
[01:30:50]  Okay.
[01:30:51]  Akash.

=== Accent And Cultural Fit Issues (03:21) ===

[01:30:52]  If you laugh, if I don't laugh, what do you owe me?
[01:30:54]  Yeah, that's $100.
[01:30:55]  Are you in on this?
[01:30:57]  I mean, fine for the fucking show.
[01:30:58]  I'll be in on this.
[01:30:59]  Odd suck dick, though.
[01:31:01]  Let's go.
[01:31:02]  How you want this or not?
[01:31:04]  Terrible value on here.
[01:31:05]  I see what it is.
[01:31:06]  Okay.
[01:31:07]  As an Indian, this bothers me, this deal.
[01:31:09]  Come on, bro.
[01:31:11]  You're not allowed.
[01:31:12]  Stop.
[01:31:13]  What is considered allowed?
[01:31:14]  Stop.
[01:31:14]  No, what is considered a loud?
[01:31:16]  Hey, this guy was on my explore page earlier.
[01:31:20]  What is considered a laugh?
[01:31:22]  Not only if you laugh, do you owe me $1,000?
[01:31:24]  Also, your career might be over because it's very offensive.
[01:31:26]  It is considered a laugh.
[01:31:28]  Me just smiling.
[01:31:29]  Just do a few different laughs.
[01:31:32]  That's a laugh.
[01:31:32]  Okay, that's a laugh.
[01:31:33]  Done.
[01:31:34]  You can't look away.
[01:31:34]  You can't look at it.
[01:31:35]  Okay, okay.
[01:31:35]  Just go.
[01:31:36]  Just go.
[01:31:37]  Come on.
[01:31:37]  This is serious.
[01:31:38]  Do a smile.
[01:31:38]  Do a smile.
[01:31:40]  That counts.
[01:31:41]  No, it doesn't.
[01:31:41]  I'm allowed to smile.
[01:31:43]  You said?
[01:31:43]  A smile.
[01:31:44]  You said laugh.
[01:31:45]  Fuck.
[01:31:45]  Go.
[01:31:46]  Yeah, smile because he's a joyous person.
[01:31:47]  Press play.
[01:31:48]  All right, ready?
[01:31:49]  It's also 11 seconds.
[01:31:50]  I only have to get through 10.
[01:31:51]  That's a good point.
[01:31:52]  That's true.
[01:31:53]  All right.
[01:31:54]  Dave Pate sings Lifestyle by Young Thugs.
[01:31:58]  Look, look.
[01:32:03]  Adapted and shouted.
[01:32:08]  Adaptive for Jude.
[01:32:18]  I made it.
[01:32:19]  I made it all.
[01:32:20]  I made it all 11.
[01:32:21]  I'm on 100.
[01:32:23]  Holy shit.
[01:32:25]  Holy shit.
[01:32:28]  The first one, though.
[01:32:31]  The first one.
[01:32:35]  That is a dip in your dash.
[01:32:37]  Yo.
[01:32:39]  Oh, no.
[01:32:40]  I saw the screen.
[01:32:41]  I was like, nope.
[01:32:43]  Stop laughing before he opens his mouth, bro.
[01:32:45]  Oh, my God.
[01:32:46]  I did not know this whole time.
[01:32:48]  Cosby has been impersonating a motherfucker with Downfield.
[01:32:50]  That was crazy.
[01:32:52]  Oh, my God.
[01:32:53]  That was crazy.
[01:32:54]  That's a tough one, huh?
[01:32:55]  Okay, give me that again.
[01:32:56]  Give me that again.
[01:32:58]  You want the same treatment?
[01:32:59]  You want to run it back?
[01:33:00]  Yeah.
[01:33:00]  All right, go hit it.
[01:33:02]  I wish they had more.
[01:33:03]  That's from the beginning, though.
[01:33:04]  I wish they had more of the music leading up to it.
[01:33:06]  No, I like how it just comes straight out.
[01:33:08]  Here we go.
[01:33:10]  Do you want to put anything on this one?
[01:33:11]  You just want to enjoy it?
[01:33:12]  No, no.
[01:33:12]  Let me enjoy it.
[01:33:14]  Adapted him.
[01:33:15]  Adapted him.
[01:33:19]  Adapted for Jude.
[01:33:25]  Get that shit.
[01:33:27]  He's kind of riding that beat.
[01:33:29]  He's riding that dude.
[01:33:30]  He doesn't sound like it.
[01:33:31]  That's really what the song sounds like.
[01:33:32]  Yeah, he's a beast.
[01:33:33]  I love it.
[01:33:34]  I love this guy.
[01:33:35]  Motherfucker's a shit.
[01:33:36]  Shouts.
[01:33:36]  He's a beast.
[01:33:39]  All right, guys.
[01:33:39]  We're going to take a break for a second because I need to get them dicks up.
[01:33:42]  I need to get them dicks up.
[01:33:44]  I need to get them dicks up.
[01:33:46]  You're looking foolish.
[01:33:47]  You're looking foolish over there.
[01:33:49]  Dick looking like Gonzo's nose.
[01:33:52]  Muppet dick.
[01:33:54]  You need.
[01:33:56]  You can't have a Muppet dick and satisfy your girl, your side chick, or your best friend?
[01:34:03]  Your boy.
[01:34:04]  You're trying to blow out your boy's back.
[01:34:05]  You got a Muppet dick.
[01:34:06]  Shit just hitting the anus and then bending.
[01:34:09]  That looks crazy.
[01:34:11]  You don't want that to happen.
[01:34:12]  Hit the anus and bend.

=== Supreme Court Abortion Decisions (15:22) ===

[01:34:14]  That's just weird.
[01:34:15]  That's not something you want at all.
[01:34:17]  You want to be able to split your boy's shit.
[01:34:19]  You know what I mean?
[01:34:20]  You want to be able to pull out and be like, oh, you had a cheeseburger last night, son?
[01:34:23]  Why don't you tell me?
[01:34:24]  That's the homie.
[01:34:25]  You know what I'm saying?
[01:34:27]  Or if it's not, if it's your wife, your girlfriend, your side chick, and you want to do that?
[01:34:31]  Or if you're a lady that needs something of that, you know, real serious delivered, that needs the pounding, that just needs that.
[01:34:37]  Slap, slap, slap.
[01:34:38]  You know what I mean?
[01:34:39]  Balls to box slips.
[01:34:41]  A lot of you ladies have been asking that.
[01:34:43]  We see it all the time in the comments.
[01:34:45]  Where do I find a guy that can go balls to box lips?
[01:34:48]  Probably a guy that knows about the chew.
[01:34:50]  Bluechew.com.
[01:34:51]  It's that simple.
[01:34:52]  Best dick of your life.
[01:34:54]  Fellas, ladies, they's thems, all of y'all.
[01:35:00]  Bluechew.com.
[01:35:01]  Use the promo code Flagrant.
[01:35:03]  You get your first month free.
[01:35:04]  All you got to do is pay $5 shipping.
[01:35:06]  That's nothing.
[01:35:06]  That's actually a bargain.
[01:35:07]  You're welcome.
[01:35:11]  All right, guys.
[01:35:11]  Show announcements real quick.
[01:35:13]  Of all, I have a pretty big announcement later this week about the tour in general.
[01:35:17]  But the next three weekends, this Thursday through Saturday, I'm going to be in Tacoma, Washington at the Tacoma Comedy Club.
[01:35:23]  Come through, Marky Gagnon will also be there.
[01:35:25]  May 19th through the 21st.
[01:35:27]  I'm going to be in Michigan, Holland, Muskegon, and Grand Rapids.
[01:35:30]  And Austin, I'm coming to your non-Texas vegan-ass city June 3rd and 4th.
[01:35:38]  Please come through so I can roast you and tell you how you're not really Texans.
[01:35:41]  All those dates and others at akashing.com.
[01:35:44]  Get your tickets.
[01:35:44]  Now let's get back to the show.
[01:35:45]  They're trying to abort the abortion bill.
[01:35:47]  Oh, shit.
[01:35:48]  Oh, not going anywhere.
[01:35:50]  Why is that?
[01:35:51]  It's just not going anywhere.
[01:35:52]  Why is that?
[01:35:53]  Because it's not, bro.
[01:35:54]  It's a part of the foundation of our society.
[01:35:56]  Since 1973.
[01:35:57]  Every since 1973, you could get these scoops, man.
[01:36:02]  And they're not going to get rid of the scoops.
[01:36:04]  There's too many jobs on the line.
[01:36:07]  Do you know what I mean?
[01:36:08]  All them little baby caskets and shit.
[01:36:11]  Listen, there's so many people that would lose their job, right?
[01:36:14]  Who?
[01:36:14]  Vacuum companies.
[01:36:16]  Baby caskets, right?
[01:36:18]  Sell on Dyson, bro.
[01:36:19]  If you got Dyson, sell.
[01:36:21]  Dyson is going down, bro.
[01:36:23]  What else do they do?
[01:36:24]  They just got the hand dryers at the airport.
[01:36:26]  I thought that was a urinal.
[01:36:29]  You wash your hands in the urinal mark.
[01:36:33]  You are a fucking animal, dude.
[01:36:35]  All I'm trying to say is Dyson needs these scoop scoops, bro.
[01:36:38]  They're sucking fetis out.
[01:36:41]  Is it fetuses or feet eyes?
[01:36:43]  It's definitely not TIS.
[01:36:45]  It'd be fetai.
[01:36:46]  Fet eyes.
[01:36:47]  Or fetuses.
[01:36:48]  Fetus eyes.
[01:36:50]  What else, too?
[01:36:51]  They're sucking fetus eyes out too.
[01:36:53]  Yeah.
[01:36:53]  Depending on how developed they are.
[01:36:55]  My point is, there's no way in hell that they're reversing this.
[01:36:58]  And I don't even think you should take it seriously.
[01:37:00]  This is dumb as shit.
[01:37:02]  Don't take it serious.
[01:37:03]  Hey, do what I do.
[01:37:04]  Do what I do.
[01:37:04]  Don't take it serious.
[01:37:06]  Y'all getting all your panties in a bunch.
[01:37:08]  But what if you're a woman, you're 20 years old, you got raped, and now you're carrying your rapist child.
[01:37:11]  Yo, Why do they always go to that?
[01:37:16]  Why is it always rape and incest?
[01:37:18]  We're not in India.
[01:37:21]  Do you know what I'm saying?
[01:37:23]  We're in the United States of America.
[01:37:24]  You're in India.
[01:37:25]  You can get an abortion.
[01:37:26]  No, you can't.
[01:37:27]  Yeah, you can.
[01:37:27]  No, you can't.
[01:37:29]  It sounds right.
[01:37:31]  See?
[01:37:32]  Now you get it.
[01:37:34]  Son, if I lived there, I'd know.
[01:37:36]  Say good.
[01:37:36]  If I've lived there, I'd know.
[01:37:37]  Exactly.
[01:37:38]  And we live here in America.
[01:37:39]  I know for a fact they're not reversing it.
[01:37:40]  They're not.
[01:37:41]  I'm telling you right now.
[01:37:42]  Everybody, you, panties, bunched, panties bunched, panties bunch.
[01:37:46]  You're cool.
[01:37:48]  You don't have to worry about it.
[01:37:50]  Miles is the least cool out of all of you.
[01:37:51]  Yo, Roe v. Wade, you don't have to worry about it.
[01:37:53]  I know you're single out here, but you're good.
[01:37:54]  None of them.
[01:37:56]  Nah.
[01:37:56]  None of them.
[01:37:57]  I mean, you can't.
[01:37:59]  None of them.
[01:38:00]  You're going to be able to get abortions guaranteed in New York.
[01:38:02]  You're good.
[01:38:02]  In New York.
[01:38:03]  Yeah.
[01:38:03]  Yo, but low-key.
[01:38:04]  I kind of think that's how it should be.
[01:38:07]  Okay, all right.
[01:38:07]  I'm listening.
[01:38:08]  The states decide.
[01:38:11]  The cross on Mark's neck just rose.
[01:38:13]  He has risen.
[01:38:15]  No.
[01:38:16]  It's only legal in New York.
[01:38:18]  No.
[01:38:18]  It should be legal in the states in New York City.
[01:38:21]  And that's what we got.
[01:38:23]  The states, bro.
[01:38:24]  States' rights, man.
[01:38:25]  It's like gambling in Vegas.
[01:38:27]  You only get abortions in New York.
[01:38:28]  That's what happens.
[01:38:29]  You land.
[01:38:29]  No, no, no.
[01:38:30]  You land at the airport.
[01:38:30]  You're steamrolling through this.
[01:38:32]  But you're wrong.
[01:38:33]  It's like guns and shit, bro.
[01:38:35]  It should just be like guns.
[01:38:37]  Some places it's legal, some places it's not legal.
[01:38:39]  Well, guns are federally legal everywhere to buy.
[01:38:42]  Stupid.
[01:38:43]  Yeah, you're gonna have cake in certain places and certain guns aren't legal.
[01:38:46]  That's federally legal.
[01:38:47]  Miles is shitting on you.
[01:38:50]  Take those guns.
[01:38:51]  Shitting on you, Ross.
[01:38:53]  Hold on, hold on.
[01:38:55]  I can feel it.
[01:38:55]  You can feel it, Mike.
[01:38:57]  Heat on that, Mike.
[01:38:58]  You're in it.
[01:38:59]  Hold on one second.
[01:38:59]  Hold on a second.
[01:39:00]  Do they have like weed dispensaries in places and weed is legal in certain places?
[01:39:04]  Yeah.
[01:39:04]  It's federally illegal.
[01:39:06]  Is weed federally legal?
[01:39:08]  No.
[01:39:09]  But they still got the places to sell it.
[01:39:10]  Yeah, because the federal government isn't prosecuting on those things.
[01:39:17]  Yo, you got the legal right to have those.
[01:39:19]  Better leave but put them away.
[01:39:23]  We out here, baby.
[01:39:25]  Motherfucker thought he caught me.
[01:39:27]  I thought he caught me.
[01:39:28]  He had you.
[01:39:30]  He had you.
[01:39:30]  He got me on the road tonight.
[01:39:31]  Hit him with his lips, dick.
[01:39:33]  You know what I mean?
[01:39:35]  I'm out here, bro.
[01:39:36]  Did the federal government prosecute the dispensaries?
[01:39:39]  Yes, they can.
[01:39:39]  Yeah, they did that in California in like 03.
[01:39:41]  Sometimes they pop in, sometimes they don't.
[01:39:43]  They haven't done it in a while, and every federal government agency is or like president has been like, yeah, we're not going to prosecute right now.
[01:39:49]  Boom.
[01:39:50]  But they could at any point.
[01:39:51]  Yeah, they could.
[01:39:52]  At any point they could.
[01:39:53]  But motherfuckers are still out there, billion-dollar industry with weed.
[01:39:57]  So what I think will happen is them abortion clinics are going to stay popping.
[01:40:02]  It's going to be even better now because everybody, all the hoes from around the country are going to come to New York.
[01:40:08]  Nah, it's going to be worse.
[01:40:09]  What are you talking about?
[01:40:10]  Because then they're going to have to wait.
[01:40:11]  They're not going to have to wait.
[01:40:13]  Stay hard.
[01:40:15]  It's still an appointment.
[01:40:16]  It's a surgery.
[01:40:17]  Say again?
[01:40:18]  It's a sound effect.
[01:40:19]  It's not a surgery, bro.
[01:40:20]  I mean, like a.
[01:40:22]  You put one of these oxygen masks on and then just press reverse, bro.
[01:40:26]  Jesus Christ.
[01:40:27]  That's it.
[01:40:27]  It's oxygen mask reverse.
[01:40:30]  Give me that.
[01:40:31]  Get over here.
[01:40:32]  Every time that comes out their mouth, son.
[01:40:34]  Say again.
[01:40:35]  You don't put it on their mouth, son.
[01:40:36]  You put on a couchon.
[01:40:38]  You put it on a couchan.
[01:40:40]  You put it on a couchan and then you just hit that fucking reverse, dude.
[01:40:44]  I'm being serious.
[01:40:45]  Put it reverse, dad.
[01:40:47]  Put it reverse.
[01:40:50]  There's no way in hell that they're going to reverse it.
[01:40:53]  So what if you had, let's say, hypothetically speaking?
[01:40:55]  Are they reversing it or not?
[01:40:56]  They're not.
[01:40:57]  So then we're good.
[01:40:58]  They're not reversing it.
[01:40:59]  And even if they do, they're not.
[01:41:01]  No, I'm telling you guys.
[01:41:03]  What's the next question?
[01:41:04]  If hypothetically speaking, let's say it was illegal in certain states, would you guys be against that?
[01:41:10]  The majority of the people in that state don't want it.
[01:41:16]  This is a country that has a constitution that was designed so that states could have the freedom to make their own laws that were not dictated by the federal government.
[01:41:26]  Would you be okay if certain states were like, it's illegal here, but others were like, it's legal here?
[01:41:30]  In theory, I think so.
[01:41:32]  But also going, reversing a Supreme Court decision to me is just kind of crazy already.
[01:41:37]  Like the Supreme Court already ruled on this.
[01:41:39]  And then to just go back and say, you know what?
[01:41:41]  That was wrong of you guys.
[01:41:43]  Like that, that got to mean something, right?
[01:41:45]  Okay, what if?
[01:41:46]  You could pick this apart probably.
[01:41:47]  I don't know, but that's what my gut is saying.
[01:41:49]  Oh, no, no.
[01:41:49]  I mean, like, I think you should always be able to reverse decisions if they were made incorrectly.
[01:41:53]  Even Supreme Court?
[01:41:54]  Well, yeah.
[01:41:55]  I mean, that's what the Supreme Court is there for.
[01:41:56]  Like, it's beautiful.
[01:41:57]  The beautiful thing about our justice system is it's malleable and you can change with new information, new ideas, new people.
[01:42:02]  Yeah, but it's so much based on precedent, typically.
[01:42:05]  Yeah, 100%.
[01:42:06]  Precedent dictates law, usually.
[01:42:07]  I'm curious as to what the precedent was to prove that it wasn't a life.
[01:42:12]  Like, how did they come to that?
[01:42:14]  It was the right to privacy.
[01:42:15]  So it wasn't, it wasn't.
[01:42:16]  So it wasn't whether you could do it or not.
[01:42:18]  They were like, yo, you don't got to share this information.
[01:42:21]  Yeah, so it was a right to privacy thing.
[01:42:22]  So it wasn't also valid.
[01:42:24]  Yeah, it wasn't a life or not.
[01:42:26]  It was that you had the right to privacy to, I think it was under like medical.
[01:42:31]  Oh, what is that?
[01:42:32]  HIPAA?
[01:42:33]  Yeah, yeah.
[01:42:34]  Pre-HIPA, but yeah.
[01:42:35]  Is this a theory?
[01:42:36]  No.
[01:42:36]  No.
[01:42:37]  I believe it's the same.
[01:42:38]  Because I also, I'm pro-choice, but I think life begins at conception.
[01:42:41]  I just think if your parents don't want you before you have enough life to like have feelings and thoughts, just give it away.
[01:42:47]  That's interesting.
[01:42:48]  Yeah.
[01:42:48]  I don't know if it's, yeah.
[01:42:49]  Yeah, I mean, guess that is when life begins.
[01:42:54]  You're saying you're okay with life beginning at conception, but you're still like, yo, we got a little time to see if we can get it.
[01:42:59]  Yeah, I'm pro-choice.
[01:43:01]  If the mom doesn't want you, I think that's before like you were like a fully formed person.
[01:43:05]  Like living that life, a lot of times is probably awful.
[01:43:08]  What about dad's pro-choice?
[01:43:11]  We don't ever talk about that.
[01:43:13]  I think you should have some say, yeah.
[01:43:14]  End of the day, it's not your final decision, but hell yeah, you should have input.
[01:43:18]  But what if you make it so you have final decisions?
[01:43:20]  Rock, paper, scissors.
[01:43:22]  I think a lot of guys are going to choose scissors, to be honest.
[01:43:25]  I think you're right about that.
[01:43:26]  I'm just saying.
[01:43:27]  And if that don't work, then a rock.
[01:43:34]  Holy shit.
[01:43:36]  Holy shit.
[01:43:39]  This guy is experienced.
[01:43:42]  Al, what do you think?
[01:43:44]  What is your opinion on this?
[01:43:46]  You know what I'm saying?
[01:43:46]  You was keeping them clinics open.
[01:43:54]  This is your conscience.
[01:43:56]  Answer correctly.
[01:43:59]  People walking to clinics, like, let me get to Alex Media.
[01:44:01]  Oh, jeez.
[01:44:02]  It's like, you got him on the menu.
[01:44:04]  Like, it's Subway Sims.
[01:44:06]  That's crazy.
[01:44:09]  Let me get the Alex scoop.
[01:44:11]  Damn.
[01:44:11]  Oh, my God.
[01:44:12]  Fuck.
[01:44:13]  Okay, go.
[01:44:14]  Go, Al.
[01:44:15]  I know you're sweating.
[01:44:16]  You got a leather on and everything.
[01:44:18]  Let's go.
[01:44:19]  Oh, man.
[01:44:19]  Nah, it's fucked up.
[01:44:20]  That's what I believe in pro-choice.
[01:44:23]  You're pro.
[01:44:26]  We know.
[01:44:29]  So, what do we do, guys?
[01:44:31]  Nothing's going to happen.
[01:44:33]  It's just people talking, bro.
[01:44:35]  It's just people talking.
[01:44:36]  People.
[01:44:36]  Just Supreme Court.
[01:44:37]  It's people talking.
[01:44:39]  Nah, bro.
[01:44:40]  Hey, watch, It's people talking.
[01:44:44]  What happens if it gets overturned?
[01:44:45]  What are you willing to do?
[01:44:48]  I will do a video where it's I'm on one side and then the kid living a lifestyle.
[01:45:00]  That is, he's on the other side.
[01:45:01]  And I'll do the duet with him.
[01:45:03]  I'll do a duet on Texas.
[01:45:04]  If it gets overturned.
[01:45:05]  If it gets overturned.
[01:45:06]  I'll do that with you.
[01:45:06]  Oh, that's good.
[01:45:07]  Yeah, that's good.
[01:45:08]  I'll do that.
[01:45:09]  Yo, he brought up Singapore.
[01:45:10]  I remember in Singapore, this guy that was taking us around, what was his name?
[01:45:13]  Hezra?
[01:45:14]  Hezri, or something like that?
[01:45:15]  He was like, yo, what's up with Trump?
[01:45:16]  It's like 2015.
[01:45:17]  Is he going to win?
[01:45:18]  Andrew's like, Trump not going to fucking win, yo.
[01:45:21]  This so done, and y'all even bring this up.
[01:45:23]  Nothing going to happen.
[01:45:24]  Trump not gonna win.
[01:45:26]  I was like, yo, you're being ridiculous.
[01:45:29]  I said that.
[01:45:29]  I was like, come on.
[01:45:30]  That guy's a TV star.
[01:45:32]  I literally said that.
[01:45:34]  And I thought it was probably even more exaggerated.
[01:45:36]  I was like, no, it's just fun.
[01:45:37]  Just enjoy it.
[01:45:37]  It's no big deal.
[01:45:39]  But this is different.
[01:45:40]  What if it was when they hold Storm of the Capitol?
[01:45:42]  We were all watching it and we were like, man, this is crazy.
[01:45:45]  Charles walks in and goes, why are you guys watching this shit?
[01:45:47]  It means nothing.
[01:45:49]  I was right, though.
[01:45:50]  I was right.
[01:45:51]  They didn't do nothing.
[01:45:52]  And it didn't mean nothing.
[01:45:53]  I was right.
[01:45:54]  What I'm trying to say, this Roe v. Wade shit is the same thing.
[01:45:56]  I went by the next day.
[01:45:57]  And it's like, this is treason killing.
[01:46:01]  I also felt that way.
[01:46:03]  I also felt that way.
[01:46:04]  You know what I mean?
[01:46:05]  You can have a lot of different feelings.
[01:46:07]  I'm sure people struggle with these feelings and these decisions.
[01:46:09]  These ladies is upset about these abortions probably know that.
[01:46:12]  It's not 100% that they want to get that thing just lozenge out of them.
[01:46:18]  Oh my God.
[01:46:20]  What, Mark?
[01:46:21]  What?
[01:46:22]  What?
[01:46:23]  We need to go protest.
[01:46:24]  Why don't they use the Ricola thing to get him out?
[01:46:27]  Why don't they just put that in?
[01:46:30]  Why don't they put that in?
[01:46:34]  Why don't they do that?
[01:46:36]  Why aren't there just other techniques that we're not aware of?
[01:46:39]  Oh, my God.
[01:46:39]  You just hit him with a recola.
[01:46:43]  Like, recall it.
[01:46:44]  Do you know what I mean?
[01:46:45]  Why don't they do that ever?
[01:46:47]  We should protest, right?
[01:46:48]  You guys don't even care about women's bodies, bro.
[01:46:51]  You don't even care about women's bodies.
[01:46:52]  Women's bodies are weird, dude.
[01:46:54]  Huh?
[01:46:55]  Huh?
[01:46:56]  Didn't see that coming.
[01:46:57]  Yeah, I didn't.
[01:46:58]  Yes, we agree.
[01:46:59]  They're weird, but at the same time, like, we have to support them to do what they want with their bodies.
[01:47:03]  There we go.
[01:47:04]  Do you know what I mean?
[01:47:05]  There we go.
[01:47:06]  Yeah.
[01:47:07]  If women, like I'm not going to be the guy that's on a podcast talking about like, you know, women shouldn't be able to kill sperm, bro.
[01:47:16]  Like, y'all need to kill all the sperm y'all want, whether it's fertilizer or not.
[01:47:21]  Yeah.
[01:47:22]  Do you know what I'm saying?
[01:47:23]  I'm going to come out here and be like, yo, you can't just suck that thing out.
[01:47:26]  But at the same time, it's like, I'm a proponent of sucking it out.
[01:47:30]  Do you know what I'm saying?
[01:47:31]  I'm not going to be a hypocrite.
[01:47:32]  I support women.
[01:47:33]  Do you know what you're talking about right now?
[01:47:35]  Nah.
[01:47:36]  No, I support women.
[01:47:38]  You guys don't support women.
[01:47:39]  No, we support.
[01:47:40]  Do you support women?
[01:47:41]  I don't know about this.
[01:47:42]  Do you support women?
[01:47:43]  Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[01:47:44]  And how do you support them?
[01:47:46]  I support them.
[01:47:47]  I think that, A, they should suck it out more, but also they should be.
[01:47:50]  Be able to get it sucked out federally across every state.
[01:47:55]  I agree with you.
[01:47:56]  I agree with you.
[01:47:57]  Now, what if certain states were like, they can only suck out some?
[01:48:02]  I think it should be federally mandated, honestly.
[01:48:04]  I look at it as a, to be boring and not fun.
[01:48:07]  I look at it as a medical thing.
[01:48:11]  Government state over here, bro.
[01:48:14]  Yeah.
[01:48:15]  You want Uncle Sam to make all the decisions.
[01:48:17]  You know what I mean?
[01:48:18]  Why is it only rape and incest are the decisions that we go?
[01:48:23]  Okay, I understand.
[01:48:23]  Like, there's no other ones where it's like, I understand.
[01:48:27]  What if the dude's ugly?
[01:48:28]  What if you're trying to prove a point?
[01:48:30]  Oh, broke.
[01:48:30]  Bro.
[01:48:31]  What if you're a vacation?
[01:48:32]  What if you have a vacation coming up?
[01:48:35]  Right, though?
[01:48:36]  Like, there's not other circumstances that are like a little wild.
[01:48:39]  It's all legitimate, bro.
[01:48:40]  I got a cruise.
[01:48:41]  Yeah.
[01:48:41]  You can't be looking crazy with stretch marks and shit.
[01:48:43]  Yeah.
[01:48:46]  Yeah.
[01:48:47]  So what's the rape and incest thing?
[01:48:48]  What's the rape and incest rule?
[01:48:50]  Like, why is that why everybody unanimously just go, we agree?
[01:48:55]  You shouldn't have to have the baby.
[01:48:57]  Those are like egregious.
[01:48:58]  Yeah.
[01:48:58]  But it's like, those are already, those are already crimes.
[01:49:01]  But if the rule is you're killing a baby, why are you allowed to kill a baby still?
[01:49:07]  Talk to him, Shultz.
[01:49:08]  I'm just saying, I got questions.
[01:49:10]  I got questions for my right-wing people.
[01:49:12]  I got questions with my right-wing people.
[01:49:14]  All of a sudden, you're malleable.
[01:49:16]  You're deciding when you can or can't kill somebody.
[01:49:18]  Now, we all agree those situations are horrible, but you're deciding when a life can't end.
[01:49:23]  So why can't these women decide when a life can end?
[01:49:25]  Oh, it's bad.
[01:49:27]  You know what I'm saying?
[01:49:28]  If you're right-wing, big anti-abortion, blah, blah, blah, but you're still like, okay, rape and incest, you could kill a baby.
[01:49:33]  Who the fuck are you to decide when an innocent baby?

=== Rape Incest Exemption Debate (06:06) ===

[01:49:37]  Because the baby innocent.
[01:49:38]  Baby ain't doing it.
[01:49:39]  Baby ain't due to incest.
[01:49:40]  Baby ain't due to rape.
[01:49:41]  So you still killing an innocent.
[01:49:43]  You're talking about all these innocents.
[01:49:44]  Why are you okay with that?
[01:49:45]  But then a woman can't decide when she wants to kill an issue.
[01:49:48]  Yeah.
[01:49:48]  And what if your cousin's hot as fuck?
[01:49:50]  Facts, bro.
[01:49:51]  Then what?
[01:49:52]  Then what?
[01:49:52]  Then you can't come out singing the live star.
[01:49:55]  Damn it, dammit, damn it.
[01:49:57]  It better than live style.
[01:49:59]  You don't want that?
[01:50:00]  You don't want dogs listening to pussy?
[01:50:02]  Like, is that young dog in there?
[01:50:04]  What has happened?
[01:50:06]  But that is a serious question I have.
[01:50:08]  Why are they cool with that?
[01:50:09]  A lot of Saturday states aren't cool with that either.
[01:50:12]  Honestly, I respect that line of reasoning more.
[01:50:14]  And if it's second cousin, you're fine.
[01:50:16]  100%.
[01:50:19]  But like, I do respect that reasoning a little bit more because it's consistent.
[01:50:23]  You're like, the baby didn't do nothing and it's killing a baby.
[01:50:25]  We out of here.
[01:50:26]  But like having these little caveats, you're basically saying it's okay to kill a baby when it's inconvenient to and inconvenient is the, I'm being whatever, but like when it's incredibly inconvenient, painful to the mother.
[01:50:40]  Yeah.
[01:50:41]  Why can't the mother also decide when a baby is incredibly inconvenient, painful to the mother?
[01:50:47]  And she's stuck in a washing machine and she's like, oh, help me get out of not stuck anymore.
[01:50:51]  I'm like, cousin, what are you doing in the washing machine?
[01:50:54]  What?
[01:50:55]  Yeah.
[01:50:56]  What's going on?
[01:50:56]  Is he doing his Florida thing again?
[01:50:59]  What's happening right now, son?
[01:51:01]  Yo, we were solving abortion before you started talking about washing machine.
[01:51:03]  We were also talking about incest.
[01:51:05]  Is this a Rick and Morty thing?
[01:51:06]  Is this SpongeBob?
[01:51:08]  I don't understand.
[01:51:09]  She tried to throw you off because you're making a case for abortion right now.
[01:51:12]  I'm making the case, but he don't want it.
[01:51:14]  He don't want it, bro.
[01:51:16]  I'm just trying to say.
[01:51:17]  Why can't women decide when to terminate?
[01:51:20]  Maybe women just got to keep it a buck.
[01:51:21]  Maybe women just got to go, yeah, we're killing them, motherfuckers, and what?
[01:51:24]  Yep.
[01:51:25]  And it's ours, and we get to decide if we want to do it or not.
[01:51:28]  And if women say that, what you gonna say to them?
[01:51:30]  That's illegal.
[01:51:31]  That's true.
[01:51:33]  But Roe, which was it, Ro or Wade?
[01:51:37]  I think Ro wanted the abortion.
[01:51:39]  And then Wade?
[01:51:39]  And Wade was like, nah.
[01:51:41]  Hater.
[01:51:42]  Yeah, right?
[01:51:43]  It's the haters, yo.
[01:51:44]  Haters.
[01:51:44]  I think Wade was the kid.
[01:51:46]  Nah.
[01:51:49]  Was it really?
[01:51:49]  If Ro was the mom.
[01:51:51]  Ro won that decision for real, dude.
[01:51:54]  No, I'm pretty sure she actually had the kid.
[01:51:56]  Oh, she did?
[01:51:57]  Yeah.
[01:51:58]  And then?
[01:51:59]  I think she gave it up for adoption, I think.
[01:52:00]  Oh, yeah, yeah.
[01:52:03]  Say it was just a weird thing.
[01:52:04]  I think I might have stumbled across a point, guys.
[01:52:08]  I think I might have stumbled across a point.
[01:52:10]  Why don't we just all acknowledge, yeah, it's killing some shit.
[01:52:12]  It's terminating some shit.
[01:52:14]  We can just acknowledge that.
[01:52:15]  Yeah.
[01:52:16]  But why the fuck do you get to decide when the women can terminate it?
[01:52:19]  And why can't they?
[01:52:20]  They're the ones who it affects the most.
[01:52:22]  Great point.
[01:52:23]  Let the women decide.
[01:52:24]  Yo.
[01:52:25]  That's it.
[01:52:26]  Nobody ever thought of that before me.
[01:52:28]  Nobody thought that.
[01:52:29]  Nobody ever thought of that before me.
[01:52:30]  I sit next to you thought of that.
[01:52:32]  You said that?
[01:52:33]  Maybe.
[01:52:34]  But would you say it in English?
[01:52:37]  Mostly.
[01:52:37]  Mostly in English.
[01:52:38]  Who's protecting?
[01:52:39]  Who's speaking up for the unborn baby?
[01:52:41]  Say again?
[01:52:43]  Who's speaking up for the unborn baby?
[01:52:44]  They don't get to speak yet, bro.
[01:52:45]  Babies can't even speak till they're like two or three.
[01:52:48]  Say again?
[01:52:48]  It's like people protect like animals that can't speak.
[01:52:51]  Who?
[01:52:51]  Not me.
[01:52:52]  Yeah, but they protect certain animals.
[01:52:54]  I don't hear them complaining when you step on an ant or kill a fly.
[01:52:57]  Low-key, if fetuses were delicious, bro.
[01:53:01]  Yo, a tomahawk, bro.
[01:53:03]  I'm just saying, bro.
[01:53:04]  If fetuses were delicious, bro, you get that veal, that fresh, fresh.
[01:53:10]  Nobody would have an issue with this.
[01:53:12]  What?
[01:53:13]  How do you not laugh?
[01:53:14]  How do you know they're half?
[01:53:14]  Yo, so it's up.
[01:53:15]  What's caviar?
[01:53:16]  That's just that's just fish abortions.
[01:53:20]  We love caviar.
[01:53:21]  I don't think they're caviar.
[01:53:22]  It's the best thing ever.
[01:53:23]  That's just fish abortion.
[01:53:24]  That's like saying, well, if you eat beef, why don't you just eat human?
[01:53:27]  Yeah.
[01:53:28]  It's marketing.
[01:53:29]  It's different.
[01:53:30]  Yeah.
[01:53:30]  Yeah, there's some marketing going into that.
[01:53:32]  If you excuse me, we can't eat humans.
[01:53:35]  You're doing a good job.
[01:53:36]  You don't eat pussy bump.
[01:53:37]  Don't chew on it.
[01:53:38]  Say again?
[01:53:38]  Don't chew on it.
[01:53:39]  All right, fine.
[01:53:40]  If it's a froze pop, if they make a fetus froze pop.
[01:53:43]  How's that better?
[01:53:44]  Why is that?
[01:53:45]  It's like a gob stopper.
[01:53:47]  Also, caviar is a blasting colour.
[01:53:50]  Caviar is unfertilized.
[01:53:51]  Yeah, it's unfertilized.
[01:53:52]  It's like a chicken egg.
[01:53:53]  It's like a chicken egg.
[01:53:54]  Yeah, you knew that outright.
[01:53:55]  You just googled it.
[01:53:56]  I saw you just put your phone in.
[01:53:58]  What you see to throw a really good.
[01:54:01]  You just don't like facts.
[01:54:01]  Let me see your phone.
[01:54:02]  So you put your phone down.
[01:54:04]  Yo, you want to know what happens in Doctor Strange 2?
[01:54:06]  Said, I seen it already.
[01:54:08]  God, dude.
[01:54:09]  This guy's just a life ruiner.
[01:54:11]  God knows.
[01:54:13]  He must be no.
[01:54:17]  You were saying, eating fetuses?
[01:54:18]  Go ahead.
[01:54:19]  I'm just saying.
[01:54:20]  Y'all never ate a fetus.
[01:54:22]  Y'all never ate a fetus.
[01:54:23]  You don't know if it's delicious or not.
[01:54:24]  You've never eaten a human being.
[01:54:25]  You don't know if it's delicious or not.
[01:54:26]  It seems gross.
[01:54:27]  But would you, though, if you had the option to eat not a fetus, but just a regular human being?
[01:54:31]  Let's say you go to a restaurant in some other country and they're like, hey, we have like a little off-menu item.
[01:54:34]  One bite human flesh.
[01:54:36]  Do you do it?
[01:54:37]  Yep.
[01:54:38]  Yeah.
[01:54:40]  What color?
[01:54:42]  What race?
[01:54:43]  Yeah, yeah.
[01:54:43]  Who's the human?
[01:54:44]  What race?
[01:54:44]  It's like meteor rare, I guess.
[01:54:46]  What race?
[01:54:47]  Well, it depends where you are.
[01:54:49]  Clearly.
[01:54:49]  I'm assuming.
[01:54:50]  Maybe it's imported.
[01:54:51]  Yeah, it might be imported.
[01:54:52]  I don't know.
[01:54:52]  Let's just say Argentinian.
[01:54:54]  What would taste the best?
[01:54:55]  You wouldn't be Argentinian?
[01:54:56]  Southern white.
[01:54:57]  Hawaiian.
[01:54:58]  It's not even a question.
[01:55:00]  Sweet.
[01:55:00]  It's a cow.
[01:55:02]  It's a mixture of it's like the biggest thing.
[01:55:08]  It's a big, meaty human, but it's also got the fat around it for the flavor.
[01:55:13]  It's Hawaiian.
[01:55:14]  I said you thought about this.
[01:55:15]  It's Hawaiian.
[01:55:15]  I mean, those legs, those big, thick legs and the thick calves, like the Hawaiian chicks have, the security guard.
[01:55:21]  That's good feet.
[01:55:22]  Yeah.
[01:55:23]  I'm just telling you, yeah, 100%.
[01:55:25]  A little sweet, all the pineapple all the time.
[01:55:27]  Oh, without a doubt.
[01:55:28]  You would only eat the feet of a person, I swear.
[01:55:30]  No, I'd hold it by the foot.
[01:55:31]  No, he'd eat the chitlins, bro.
[01:55:32]  I think I might eat feet.
[01:55:34]  I might eat feet.
[01:55:34]  I think they actually.
[01:55:35]  I might eat feet.
[01:55:36]  I really would.
[01:55:37]  100%.
[01:55:40]  I would.

=== Patreon Update And Cooking Plans (00:50) ===

[01:55:43]  Yeah, it's getting weird.
[01:55:44]  I'm glad we solved it.
[01:55:45]  Yeah, I think we solved abortions, bro.
[01:55:47]  Yeah, dude.
[01:55:48]  So nothing will happen, I promise you, and you don't have to worry about anything.
[01:55:50]  And people are just going to yell about it for another month and then I'll be done.
[01:55:53]  Lifestyle.
[01:55:56]  Yeah, you're off on this, but it's cool.
[01:55:58]  We'll see.
[01:55:59]  We'll see.
[01:55:59]  You really think America is not going to have abortion?
[01:56:02]  I think we're going to revisit this in about a month.
[01:56:05]  And then.
[01:56:06]  And then you'll just have a new take.
[01:56:09]  He's never done that.
[01:56:12]  All right, guys.
[01:56:13]  That's been another episode of Flagrant 2.
[01:56:14]  And guys, only one regular episode this week.
[01:56:17]  Obviously, we got Patreon, patreon.com/slash flagrant2.
[01:56:20]  Join the asshole army.
[01:56:22]  But yeah, we got a couple things cooking this week.
[01:56:26]  So we will get back to you next week.
[01:56:29]  If not, see you before that on Patreon.
[01:56:31]  We love you.
[01:56:32]  We appreciate you.
[01:56:33]  Peace.