Dave Portnoy's MeToo Evasion MasterClass features hosts dissecting Michael Che and Tim Dillon's comedy feud, debating ticket sales versus podcast success. They analyze Dave Portnoy's strategy of framing allegations as hit pieces rather than addressing innocence, contrasting this with Elon Musk's economic arguments comparing Hitler to China. The conversation shifts to labor shortages, climate change solutions involving glacier exploitation, and the ethics of cover bands versus Disney's copyright litigation. Ultimately, the episode critiques elite hypocrisy regarding immigration, climate conferences, and political leadership while questioning traditional metrics of artistic and commercial viability. [Automatically generated summary]
Transcriber: nvidia/parakeet-tdt-0.6b-v2, sat-12l-sm, and large-v3-turbo
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Learning The Haka00:06:41
What up, everybody?
Welcome to Flagrant 2.
It's your boy Shultzi.
I'm here with Akash Singh, Mark Gagnon.
Alex Media is still not here.
He is on punishment.
Okay?
Alex has kind of been fucking up the audio and video lately.
And we said, yo, you got to get that shit together.
So we're going to, you know, you take a month off.
Everybody got to be accountable for what they do on this podcast.
Okay.
It's very important to all of us.
It's how we take care of our families.
It's what we're doing for our future.
This is what we're doing for right now.
And it didn't feel like the quality of the podcast was a priority.
So we had to let him know how serious we were about that.
So Alex is taking a month off from the podcast.
He will be back after that.
He is still our brother.
We love him very much.
But at the same time, we put a lot into this podcast.
Yeah.
And we need to make sure that that energy is matched by everybody.
And the importance of this being executed to the best of our ability is matched by everybody on this podcast.
Okay.
But he will be back in a month.
And if we continue to have audio video problems after that, he'll be gone for a lot longer.
But that is our brother.
We love him.
And he'll be back now.
I guess it'll be like three more weeks.
Yeah.
Something like that.
Perfect.
We also got the truffle in the building.
Okay.
And guys, let's start the show.
Yes, don't worry, comedy community.
We will talk about Michael Che and Tim Dylan going at it on Instagram and Twitter.
But before we do that, I have to bring to everybody's attention that Mark laughs at disabled children.
That's not true.
That is true.
That is true.
Well, I don't know if you laugh at it, but you did share it.
Yeah, I did.
And maybe you're sharing it for good fortune.
Maybe you're sharing it to lift everybody's spirits.
But what I defile the audience to do right now and everybody in this room is to watch this video.
And I want you to try to not laugh or even smile.
I shared this because it was a heartwarming story.
And I knew that you were having a hard time with this movie.
And I thought, you know what?
Andrew actually might prefer to see something that was.
He's trying to help you out, dude.
And I did feel better afterwards.
Yeah.
I felt amazing.
Okay.
Yeah.
Right now, what we're about to watch is the All Blacks.
These are the All Blacks.
Yes.
This is Charlemagne's Network for Podcasting.
Isn't it?
Charlemagne's Network for Podcasting.
What is it called?
Oh, that's Black Effect.
All Blacks are a rugby team.
The All Black Effect.
The All-Black Effect.
Right.
It's a rugby team from a place that has no black people.
Yeah.
So, New Zealand.
The No Blacks.
The No Blacks went to Scotland.
Am I right?
No, Ireland.
Something like that.
Something like that.
Okay.
And I'm sorry, guys.
They all look alike.
And I'm not talking about the kids in the video.
I'm just going to say that.
Or the All Blacks.
For the All Blacks.
All Blacks do not look alike.
Basically, what happens is the team is there, and then there's a younger disabled kids team.
What do they have?
They're cousins, right?
They have Down syndrome.
They have downsy.
They've been diagnosed with Downsy.
The Kuzzy Wuzzies are lined up and they're going to do a Haka.
What a Haka is, it's like this pre-war dance that the team sometimes do.
I remember they tried to do it.
New Zealand was playing the United States in basketball, and they tried to do it to like intimidate them.
They slap their chest and they stick their tongue out and they grab it.
They're like, haha!
And it looks really cool if they're not playing basketball.
Yeah, if you're not playing an actual team of all blacks, it's fine.
When they played the real blacks, this was racist.
So, what happened is they go and the Kuzzy Wuzzies wanted to impress them, right?
It was probably not the Kuzzy Wuzzies, it was the Kuzzy Wuzz trainer.
And their trainer decided, bro.
They say trainer leads your Pokemon.
What's wrong with that?
I don't know.
I don't think they're fighting them.
Are they fighting him?
That would be next level.
They're fighting trainers, yo.
No, but they're also in a rugby team.
Okay.
I think how different is their game of soccer or rugby or football?
It's whatever game they want it to be.
Just put whatever ball there.
Okay.
This is an uplifting story.
I thought I thought this actually brings they basically learned a Haka so they could impress the All Blacks because they look up to the All Blacks.
They think the All Blacks are absolutely amazing and they're finally in their hometown.
They thought that would never happen.
So their teacher, their trainer, their coach.
It's a heartwarming story.
Yeah.
It's a heartwarming story.
Their coach, they put a Haka together, hit it, hit the video.
This music, dog.
Don't smile.
The music doesn't help.
No, I can't.
Go back to when my man just lets loose, bro.
Last time, one more time.
One more time.
I'm smiling at how beautiful it is.
I don't know what you're laughing at.
I'm smiling at that's what I'm laughing at.
I'm laughing at that exact thing when he just lets it rip.
But here's the thing: that's not that different from a haka, which makes me think that were the all blacks originally originally cousins, and that's why they were so much stronger than all the other rugby teams, right?
Right, right.
Right?
Because at the end of the day, it's about strength.
And everybody would talk about, oh my God, the all-blacks are unstoppable.
They're so strong.
I mean, if you even watched Moana, The Rock's character, no neck.
Yeah.
Right?
Like, right.
Yeah.
Samoans might be cousins.
I think that's what I'm trying to say.
I think that's what I'm trying to say.
I feel you're being unfair to them and also the Samoans.
Go.
Have you ever done a Haka?
I don't know, but why are you dressed like them?
Yo, mark plays for the team.
Let's go.
Okay, no, tell me.
Tell me more about that.
My said he looked like Kermit went to prison and got debts.
Okay, but go.
Talk to me more about it.
Have you ever done a Haka?
I haven't.
No.
Never?
Have you done a Haka?
Yeah.
When?
Why?
When I was playing.
We were playing for Orlando.
Yeah.
No, but seriously, you've done a Haka before?
You're like, no, of course not.
I just don't understand.
It's hard to do.
I feel like it's difficult.
It doesn't look that hard, to be honest with you.
It's slapping your thighs and then you just fucking scream at somebody.
That's great, dude.
I'm all about it.
That's Mike Malak right there.
That guy right there with his tongue out, mouth open, just screaming.
Defending Against Criticism00:11:08
You're telling me that wouldn't be a little intimidating.
What is more scary?
Kyle Rittenhouse walks into your parade or your march, right?
Yeah.
To defend my small business, obviously.
Obviously, he's right in front of the 7-Eleven, just waiting for someone to play.
Yo, Indians probably love that motherfucker, Kyle Rittenhouse.
Like, fuck them with some sense.
Take care of the community.
Protect everybody.
Right?
They don't give a fuck.
They don't give a fuck.
You know what I mean?
But Kyle Rittenhouse, way more dangerous, obviously has the Air 15.
Yeah.
But if instead you just had the team of cousins doing a Haka in front of your business, yo, I'm intimidated.
You're intimidating.
I'm intimidated.
These guys, yo, these guys are going to win whatever they do, bro.
Just you fucking primal scream.
That's all I'm saying.
I think that we should have a rent-a-cuzzy business where you should be able to, when there is like a protest or a march or something where you think destruction is going to happen, you think they would have stormed the Capitol if those kids were waiting right in front of it?
That's your body.
We're going to take back our country.
Do you think that would have happened?
There's no way, right?
They're like, all right, let's go back another day.
Let's try trying to do ourselves.
Right?
Yo, that, hey, that should be your bodyguard.
Yes.
Keep it in the family.
Get you some cousins.
I love that.
I love that myth.
Okay, enough about the cousins.
Let's have a conversation.
Everybody in the comment community talking.
We have Michael Che, Tim Dylan, beefing a little bit online over an SNL sketch.
Michael Che is a comedian, hilarious comedian.
He's got Netflix special is really brilliant.
You should go check him out.
And he's also the head writer or co-head writer of SNL.
And then Tim Dylan, hilarious comedian.
He's got an amazing podcast.
You should go check Tim's stuff out.
I mean, I'm sure you guys know Tim and just brilliant appearances on Rogan and other pods, et cetera.
And they're beefing over this SNL sketch.
The SNL sketch was a Sesame Street spoof, but it was about Ted Cruz.
So it was Cruise Streak.
And part of that is Pete Davidson playing Joe Rogan.
And he comes out and this is over this whole beef about Big Bird coming out on Twitter and saying that Big Bird got vaccinated and Ted Cruz was very critical of that.
It's like, why are you trying to convince kids that they should get vaccinated?
I don't know if kids watch fucking Sesame Street anymore.
I don't think kids have watched Sesame Street in 30 years, but I think we were the last generation.
No, it made a comeback.
Did it really?
Yeah, yeah.
My friend's kid loves Elmo.
Oh, really?
Yes, I think it's all branded around Elmo, but it's big again, believe it or not.
Fair enough.
So there's this whole sketch.
Now, a small part of the sketch is the Joe Rogan park.
Yeah.
Right.
And basically, Joe Rogan comes out and he's like, what I do is I take horse pills.
I take horse drugs.
And then Big Bird's like, well, I'm not a horse.
You think I should take that?
And he's like, well, I'm a human.
I still take horse pills and blah, blah, blah.
And basically what Tim Dylan said is there are 100 different ways to do this sketch and have it be funny.
The show is just lazy, mediocre hacks.
Yes.
Now, I'm assuming if you're one of the writers of the sketch, that makes you feel away.
Yep.
And then he keeps going.
Oh, the show is now just lazy, mediocre hacks is the roughest one, I think.
But then he tweets more.
He says, people saying SNL hasn't been funny since the 70s are wrong.
Farley, Rock, Sandlers, Myers, Norm, Sherry O'Terry, and Molly Shannon were brilliant.
Tracy Morgan.
Also, the Hater McKinnon era was funny.
It's maybe the singular, greatest U.S. comedy platform, but this sketch was bad and not bad because it made fun of Joe or Iver Mecton, but it did it in the laziest way possible.
It was talking points and not jokes.
Comedy shows can have a point of view.
Mine does, but it should also occasionally have comedy.
So he likes, it was a tweet series.
You know what I mean?
Yeah, it was an attack on SNL or very harsh criticism of SNL.
Yeah, absolutely.
So I can understand, you know, if you're Che and like that's your show and this is the show that you've been running for the last few years, specifically the section that Tim is being critical of.
Yeah.
He's basically saying, yo, it was good before you.
Yeah.
But now with you, the shit sucks.
That's a good ass point.
So I can understand how you might feel away about that.
So then Che comes out and he goes, lol, you got to be kidding me.
Tim Dylan, exclamation point, question mark, exclamation point, question mark.
What's the world coming to?
Then he has two more tweets.
One just goes, Tim Dylan in all caps with a question, exclamation.
And then one in bigger font just says, Tim fucking Dylan?
Yeah.
And then he says, look, I don't want no trouble.
And then this is the screenshot right here on the far right.
Yeah, somebody was responding to somebody is responding to Che and basically saying, hey, Tim Dylan makes $190K a month on Patreon.
And Che goes, I don't care if it's a zillion, which is not true.
If he was making a zillion, we would all care.
A zillion dollars?
You don't care if it's a zillion?
You don't care if there's a person making a zillion dollars.
If they were literally making one zillion dollars on Patreon, you wouldn't care at all.
You'd still be making Big Bird sketches if you knew you could make a zillion dollars on fucking Patreon.
That's not true.
That's not true.
But he goes, Che goes, I know Tim Dylan, and he ain't what you think he is.
He's a sweet, humble guy who really tried at stand-up, got nowhere, became a media personality because it's much easier.
And we're all very happy for him, but don't get fresh, Tim.
Whoa.
Whoa.
Now, there's a response.
Somebody DMs him.
It says, he's selling out theaters on tour right now.
I'm a fan of both yours, mind you.
It's him and Sam Talon doing a theater tour.
He just sold out the beacon.
And Che said, and we're all very proud of him.
And you know, I don't want no trouble, but in the words of Prodigy, and then he does a Prodigy, some lyric from a song that I honestly don't remember because I couldn't screenshot that.
But then Tim responds on Twitter to that.
He says, here's the reality.
I sell more tickets than Michael Che ever has.
And I built something on my own that he could never do.
Che has done well for a drunk who can barely read, but his show sucks and he knows it.
And then Che says, all fair points.
And I'm very proud of him.
I don't want no trouble, which I thought is a funny back and forth on both your ends.
Yes.
And then he said, seriously, folks, what's the world coming to?
Che did.
And then he said, there's so many white guys of a certain size in my DMs right now.
Right.
And they both just go on to kind of like backtrack a little bit.
Yeah.
Okay.
What are you guys' thoughts?
Can't y'all both just be funny?
And like, I don't know.
Che, you're on top, dude.
You don't got to worry about if somebody been not beneath you, but like you've been a guy at SNL for eight years.
If a guy that is popping off now and got hot in the last couple years is taking shots at a show you work on, I can see how you get defensive, but also you, that show doesn't let you do you.
Right.
You're not going to get to do the same shit on your Netflix special that drops on Tuesday as you would on the sketch.
The Netflix special is you.
This is what NBC will let you put out.
Right.
Yeah, I think this is Che promoting a special.
You know what?
There's no chance he gives a fuck.
He don't care.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
This is Chey promoting the special.
The special also comes out when?
Tomorrow?
Tomorrow.
Today when this podcast comes out.
Yeah, of course.
So you're going to engage in a beef.
You don't have a podcast.
You're not necessarily going out and doing podcasts on all these other platforms.
You still have to drum up interest for your special.
Right, right.
Right?
It's not like throwing a billboard up in fucking Times Square does anything anymore.
Yeah.
You got to drum up interest.
It's pretty convenient that a day before the special comes out or two days before the special comes out, there's a beef with one of the biggest comedic media personalities.
Yeah.
And he gave you the alley oop.
Right.
I'm not texting Dylan.
I was like, yo, you gave him every opportunity because everybody's going to go to his Instagram to look at what the beef is about.
And I promise you, there's probably just one picture saying my special comes out the 16th.
Yeah.
Like, I bet you.
I didn't see what his thing looked like.
I guarantee.
It is exactly what it is.
Okay, of course.
Cheese smart.
Yeah.
This guy is smart.
Yeah, he's accidentally become the fucking co-head writer of SNL.
You do that because you're smart.
So, shit.
I mean, if he was, that's literally all it is.
It's one box.
This is hilarious.
And that's the name of the special.
Shame the devil.
Love it.
This is genius.
This is like rap tactics.
You've got the album coming out.
Start the beef.
Yeah.
What would Kanye do?
What would 50 Cent do?
Yeah.
Right.
What would Eminem do?
Yeah.
This is classic rap tactics brought into the comedy world.
Start the conversation.
Now motherfucker is going to hate to watch the specials.
Yep.
All the Tim's fans are going to come out here like, man, I'm going to show you who's not funny.
I'm going to show you who's a, what do you call him, a failed comic or something like that.
Yeah.
And then all those people count his streams.
Yeah.
Do you know what I'm saying?
YouTube took away the dislike button.
Yeah.
They can't even dislike his shit if he puts out the trailer on YouTube.
Yeah.
Like this is.
This is not the first time that a comic, probably even Tim, has criticized SNL.
It happens all every week.
Comics say the fucking show sucks.
Every week.
Yeah, it's almost like it's become exhausting for comics to shit on it.
Yeah, like I'm getting exhausted by it.
And I think the reason is because like a lot of comics hold it in such high regard.
Yeah.
So like by being maybe rejected or not included in something that they hold, you know, as such an important institution in comedy hurts a lot.
So when you see it starting to struggle and kind of not doing that well, like the numbers aren't what they used to be.
And just that's the nature of like a changing sense of to your point.
I'm pretty sure Che's not going to be.
I think this is his last season on SNL.
I don't think he's going to be there that much longer.
So he's got his own show on HBO.
I can't imagine you can juggle them both.
Che's been leaving SNL for the last five years.
Every time I talk to him, I'm like, is it over yet?
Now he got his HBO show, though.
So he could pour himself into that.
Right.
So I think this might be his actual.
I assume he's leaving by next year.
So, but basically, who cares if just, I think now you got your HBO show.
Now you got your Netflix special.
I don't know how much long you keep doing all three.
You're going to focus on the you shit.
So to that point, you wouldn't really care if somebody shit on the show you're leaving.
A hunch.
And Akash is right with his hunch.
Son, my hunches are the nicest, bro.
He having hunches.
But who fucking knows?
You're saying there's other opportunities for him.
And I'm saying, why would he be that protective of a show that he's probably leaving?
Like, you got two other.
Nobody shitting on the Michael Chase.
You're always going to be protective over the things that you make.
Everybody's susceptible to criticism.
If somebody shits over something that's yours, you're going to.
I'm trying to agree with you.
You know what I mean?
I'm just saying.
Fuck.
Let me.
Yeah.
No, no, no.
What I'm saying is I understand what you're saying.
I'm not saying he's necessarily going to leave.
I don't think that he'll leave.
But that's just my personal opinion.
As much as I try to tell him to leave.
Yeah.
I don't think it will happen.
Right.
Mark, what are your thoughts?
Yeah.
I mean, same exact thing.
I think they both benefit in the beef because Tim's fans will be like, yo, we went up against the head writer of SNL, like the old institution, and like we won.
Yeah.
So we're the best.
Like it validates their fan base.
And then Che is going to get all the streams and he's probably going to get some residual fans that are like, oh, it actually was not bad.
Like, I actually enjoyed it.
Che needs people to see how funny he is.
Honoring Infamous Tour Dates00:05:27
Because that's the thing.
He's funny.
You're going to watch the special, and even if you don't like what he had to say about Tim, you got to respect.
You're going to go, no, no, he's good.
That's my point.
Even if you're hate watching, you're going to go, like, oh, it's pretty good.
There's going to be a percentage of those.
He knows he got the goods, so he could have the beef.
Yeah.
I do think that it was unfair of him to say.
I think there's a couple things that are going on that are unfair.
I think it's unfair of him to say, and it's almost like a cardinal sin.
Like, to say, you're saying another comic that they failed.
Now, so now, Tim is also saying that the show is hack.
That's huge.
If he didn't use the word that he said, the show is just unfunny hacks now.
Exactly.
So he said the writers are hacks.
So he said you're a hack.
So like they both kind of cross the line.
Now, this is comedy culture.
There's certain things you're kind of not allowed to say to one another.
Like you're busting balls at the table.
You don't talk really about someone's act.
If somebody gets into like their act and someone being hacky or someone doing that, that's where shit is actually important.
But once you start going into that one thing that we're all very sensitive and care about, now you're giving license for you to go the fuck in.
Right, it's real then.
Exactly.
No, separate note: I got to say thank you to the city of Chicago for showing up for us last weekend.
That was fucking unbelievable.
We did.
Yeah, bet.
Yeah, man.
We're at the Chicago theater.
That's incredible.
And that's the biggest venue I've ever done.
Really?
3,500 people, I think.
And we did that shit twice.
And it was just so unreal.
Like, the love was crazy.
In the city, the love was crazy.
Chicago has always held me down.
And like, I don't know, man.
I just, I just really appreciate it.
It was, it meant a lot, man.
That's an iconic venue.
Yeah.
You know, and yeah, and shouts to Mateo for coming out, man.
Matteo came out and fucking murdered it.
Killed it.
He killed that shit.
He was doing, he was singing Mariah Carey's All I Want for Christmas, man.
And that was just so much fun.
It was just great.
And Ben Ashman came through.
Oh, yeah.
Shout out to Askron, man.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
That motherfucker grabbed me.
Like, he was fucking around, but he grabbed me, like, grabbed my arm, and like locked his fingers around it.
Yeah, you got scared for me.
I got strong.
I didn't think he was going to do anything, but like, I wouldn't have a choice if he was.
That's my Bitcoin brother.
That's right.
Yeah.
He's telling me, he's like, man, I'm going to get you into that shit 100%.
I'm like, this motherfucker Aka has already got me in.
So we had a little combo about that.
But it was just a cool weekend, man.
Thank you, everybody, coming out.
And yo, this weekend.
We're going to be in Minneapolis and Fargo.
Minneapolis, both shows sold out.
If you bought tickets to the Minneapolis show before the pandemic, one of them is a pre-pandemic show.
So I know some of y'all listening right now, y'all probably maybe even forgot that you bought those tickets.
Well, those are the ones.
We're honoring that show date.
So make sure you go check that shit out.
If you got homies that got it, check that shit out.
We'll be there Saturday for two shows.
Fargo, then we're going to be up in that.
I'm excited to go to Fargo, man.
I know a lot of people don't say that, but I am.
And yeah, so go get that shit.
Go get tickets.
If you don't sell out the show in Fargo, and by you, I mean me, I'll never go to Fargo again, but I will be so insulted because I know there's nothing else going on.
That's a good point.
You're just making a choice to be bored over me.
Sit at home and do nothing or come to me.
So that would break my fucking heart if you did that.
Fargo, I'll see you there.
If you're in either of the Dakotas, you drive your ass.
I don't care how far it is.
Okay.
How often are we in the Dakotas?
Make it happen.
And then after that, we're going to be Laughing Spree Fest in December.
We're down there in Boca Raton, Florida.
Jacksonville as well that weekend, the 5th of December, Boston for New Year's Eve.
And then we added a bunch more shows.
Portland, Seattle, Oxnard, Sacramento, Brea, California, Coachella, California, San Jose.
Toronto was crazy.
We did the Toronto shows, man.
The first show sold out in like fucking seven minutes.
I think the second show is pretty much sold out as well.
This shit is absolutely nuts.
Toronto, thank y'all so much.
New Orleans, Pittsburgh is available as well.
We lit up Pittsburgh, so you can go check that out.
We're coming to the berg.
New York City, we added a second show, Radio City.
Go get them tickets.
And then Atlantic City is the last date in America for the infamous tour.
I said in America for the infamous tour.
And that's all I'll say about that.
Akash, what you got.
Yo, first of all, thank you to everybody who came out in Fairfield.
I was surprised that many people came to the fucking show in Fairfield.
It was good.
Also, shouts to Lisa Lampanelli.
She came and hung out backstage.
They were like, hey, Lisa Lampanelli wants to come hang out.
Are you cool with that?
And I was like, yeah, of course.
What's the bitch doing here?
But she was cool as fuck.
Thank you, Legend.
That was dope.
Watch the whole set.
She's very complimentary.
Thank you so much.
These two days after Thanksgiving, the 26th and 27th, Friday and Saturday, I'm going to be at Zane's in Nashville.
Let's come through.
Let's fucking party.
We'll go to Prince's afterward.
December 9th through 11th, I'm at the Comedy Loft in DC.
Next year, January 7th and 8th, I'm coming home to Dallas in Hyenas.
You better sell out these fucking shows.
January 27th through 29th, I'm at the Comedy Vault in Batavia, Illinois.
Like Andrew said about Fargo, I guarantee you there's nothing else in Batavia.
Take your ass there.
And February 3rd and 4th, I'm going to be in Richmond, Virginia at Sandman Comedy Club.
Get your tickets at akashing.com.
Let's get back to the show.
All right, guys, we're going to take a break for a second because I want to make sure that you are satisfying the woman you love.
Okay.
And ladies, I want to make sure you're getting satisfied.
Selling Out Comedy Shows00:14:31
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And she will speak about you in a completely different way for the rest of your life and hers.
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Enjoy.
Now let's get back to the show.
It's a tricky thing.
Now, the section of the sketch, this is what's interesting.
The sketch itself, if you watch the whole sketch, I actually didn't think it was bad.
Like, there's a part with Burton Ernie that is actually very funny.
Like, I'm looking at the writing and I'm going into it defensive of Joe.
You know what I mean?
You know, Joe's my guy.
So if anybody's being critical of Joe, I'm like, man, fuck you, right?
Yeah.
Your guy did so much for me.
So obviously.
But I watched the whole thing and I was like, okay, there's a couple funny moments.
The Joe thing sucks.
Sucks.
There's no joke.
The joke is I take horse medicine, which we already disproved.
It's like that would have worked the week it came out.
Maybe.
The shit he's eating.
The shit he's eating.
Just make it elk.
Like make it a little bit funnier of a hacky joke.
But you see what I'm saying about specifically, like, it's just dated.
Like, bro, I don't know if Che's this much of a mastermind, but part of me thought like he did that shit on purpose.
Here's what's interesting.
Write a shitty Joe sketch, right?
You're going to have all the people who fuck with and defend Joe shit on that.
The whole internet's going to start talking.
They don't have Trump to criticize anymore, right?
So you can't go after Trump.
You need the new version of that.
You need the new divisive guy.
The new divisive guy now, CNN, is trying to do it is Joe.
You make the show about Joe, and then you make it, if he's a true mastermind.
You make it criticizable.
Yeah, unfair.
You make it unfair.
It's a super funny pointed parody that everyone goes, oh, yeah, it was funny.
If it's hilarious, you got to give it up.
It doesn't make any news.
If it's not, if it's straight, kind of hacky.
Right.
Like, trust me, if Che's on stage, that's not the joke he's making about Horse D. Worm.
Yeah, no way.
And maybe I say this because I think he's truly a great comedic mind.
I know for a fact that's not the joke.
There's no.
You know, to your point, SNL, that's the 47 seconds they put online on Twitter.
Tim Dylan is responding to a tweet that SNL put out.
Oh.
So that's where I'm like, because I was like, before you said that, I was like, why would SNL put that out?
That's the 47 seconds you wanted out?
Maybe you're right.
Maybe it is.
This will get everybody talking about us.
It puts us back in the spotlight as SNL.
You always need people talking about you.
And then if you're Che, you're like, yeah, cool.
When comics go at it, hey, I'm going to use that.
And I get to promote my shit.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
That is if he's a mastermind.
Look, best case scenario is, or like most genius chess move is doing it and leaking it on purpose or specifically choosing that purpose.
Worst case is they just need people to talk about the show.
And if you talk about the motherfucking man who's in charge right now, Joe, there's going to have a conversation.
We're having a conversation about it right now.
We're talking about that shit.
Now, we were talking a little about this yesterday.
You had an interesting point about like both of their potential sensitivities.
And I thought you speak on it a little bit more.
I thought it was interesting.
So I guess the point that I was trying to extrapolate is like Tim is so much made outside of the industry.
And his whole audience is just basically like almost grassroots and it exists behind Patreon and it's like all his thing.
He has full ownership.
Whereas Jay was like brought into this pre-existing institution and the system and he's just a part of it.
Yes.
And so a lot of his fans, I think, initially probably came from SNL that were fans of SNL and then became fans of him.
So he has to like sort of moderate public perception a lot more because he's been grandfathered into this pre-existing system.
Whereas Tim is sort of outside of that criticism from like critics and like reviewers and articles and shit like that because he already has such like a prominent like die-hard fanbase.
So basically, in other words, like Che can get fired.
Right.
And his fans came to him through the show and the institution.
Right.
So they're not going to stop watching the institution.
Right.
They're not going to stop being SNL fans.
Right.
Matter of fact, if Che don't give them anything new, they might stop being Che fans.
So Che is locked to the institution.
And he's got his fans that he got outside of that.
And some will rock with him if he leaves.
But much less than the mountain of fans that are watching SNL.
And we are critical of SNL's numbers, but it's still a very big popular show.
There's no question, right?
So I understand why he has to, and I think this is what Mark's saying, why he has to respond to public criticism more because public criticism is what could get him fired.
Yeah.
I mean, him and Shane are in very different situations, but public criticism is the reason why Shane's not on the show.
Yeah.
Public criticism is probably the reason why everybody who's been fired off the show is fired off the show.
A few sketches come out, people are like, yeah, that person's not that funny.
And then Lauren's like, I guess that person ain't that fucking funny.
Audio will see it later.
So you got to manage public perception.
If someone's coming at you, you got to make them radioactive or cut their legs out.
That person has a criticism that people seem to agree with.
You got to be like, but why is this person able to critique?
You're going to listen to this guy?
You got to assassinate the character.
It's like a me too.
Yeah, yeah.
You know what I mean?
Like, if this girl's saying you did some shit, you got to go pornoid.
You know what I mean?
Buy the champagne bottles, engrave them.
You got to go at the funny.
You got to go at it.
You got to go at the validity.
Yep.
Right?
So, so I understand, and I thought that was really a poignant observation.
And whereas Tim, on the other end, is used to criticism of him, but doesn't have to care as much as long as that criticism isn't coming from his fans.
Yeah, as long as his fans are appeased, he can't get fired.
Yeah, I didn't know that Miles had the little headphones in, and it sounded like he had his hand over his ears and he's bending down.
And I was like, Am I so boring that you have a headache?
Like, that's like literally, he was bent over like this.
Like, I cannot listen to another fucking word of this guy speak.
And then I, and then he took his hands off, and then thank God there were like little AirPods in it.
Okay, Miles, you almost really made me feel horrible right there.
It felt like Michael Che responds to Tim Dylan tweets here.
But Miles isn't funny.
Yeah, yeah.
But yeah, so you understand why Che is reacting oftentimes to these critics, etc.
Now, I assume that he's doing that for game.
Yeah.
I assume he knows he could rile up the internet, and when it's time to rile up the internet about something that he has coming out, maybe it's his show, maybe it's a special, maybe it's some project, maybe it's a tour that he's doing, something.
I think he knows how to engage and do that.
Right.
And I think that's a sophisticated chess move from a guy who doesn't have a mouthpiece to really promote his stuff.
He also has the shield of the institution.
So like people can criticize SNL and he can either just not take the bait and be like, yeah, that's SNL.
I wasn't involved, whatever.
Or if they do criticize SNL, all of a sudden he can make it personal and be like, no, that's my thing that you're coming at.
Because Tim never said anything about Che.
But if you're saying that the show is hack stuff and he's the head writer, it's going to reflect ultimately on him.
But he can choose to not opt in.
Like if you're coming at him going, yo, Michael Che is the worst, whatever.
Yeah.
Then you kind of have to respond.
If somebody shits on Flagrant 2, I want to respond.
Right.
Yeah, but you're much more intimate.
This is Andrew Schultz's Flagrant 2.
It's not Michael Che's SNL.
But if he's the responsible party for the writing on the show, if he's the one that green lights all the things, it's like responding to a sub as a rapper.
You don't have to respond to a sub.
He didn't say Michael Che is an unfunny hacker.
Sorry to cut you, but if somebody shits on Rockefeller Records, Jay-Z got to feel the way about it.
Jay-Z Midrock.
Jay-Z's the owner.
Him and Dame founded that.
That's a good point.
He created it.
It's like Memble Memph Bleak being like, yo, how fucking dare you come at Rock?
And they're probably criticizing Memph in particular.
But point is, it's I see what you're saying.
There's a little bit more distance, but you're still going to personalize something that you are 100% tied to.
Example: If the biggest thing you're known for is this institution and you take responsibility for what's happening in the institution, even if the institution supersedes you, that's the biggest thing you're known for.
If someone shits on India, yeah, yeah, you know what I'm saying?
Like, if someone shits on my favorite basketball team, I'm defensive, yeah, right?
Like, we get defensive over things that we relate to.
I haven't been spending five years saying I'm gonna leave India.
This is my last year on India, right?
Right.
I mean, I think it's probably marketing, and I we say this all the time: if somebody takes a little shot, it's like, yo, that guy's not even worth it.
Don't respond.
We say that to each other.
This guy's not worth it.
That's not worth it.
Why would you get into that?
But it is worth it if you got some shit to promote.
It's very worth it.
Yeah.
It's very worth it.
Yeah.
Yeah, it's interesting.
I bring that up just to say he's positioned in a cool way where he can either choose to opt in or choose to not engage.
Yeah.
And he took this time to engage.
You know what's funny is the way that he did it.
Now, I know Che's plugged in.
He's a comic, so he has to know what's happening in the world and he has to know the shifting of the guard and how like, you know, traditional TV shows aren't really doing what they used to do.
They're not doing that for people's careers, et cetera.
And I thought it was a little wild to say this shit about.
And again, you know, Tim's opening it up with the hacks, but I thought it was a little wild to say he's a failed comic because like, how do you judge the success of a comic?
Yeah.
Right?
Like, well, sorry.
He's going at so Dylan went at Che's material.
At the end of the day, that's something Che wrote, head writer, went at his material.
Che's going at Dylan's material right back at him, saying, Don't get fresh, Tim.
You're not a comic like I'm a comic.
That's not to say he's not going at his audiences.
What makes someone a successful comic?
I'm saying it's also unfair to say that.
It's Che saying you're not a good writer, basically.
Say that.
Because what makes somebody a successful comic, right?
Like there are people that we might not appreciate their comedy.
I agree.
Who's the Muppet guy?
Dunham Dunham.
Yeah.
But the guy is doing arenas.
Yeah.
Right?
Yeah, I don't know if Dice was like the most clever writer or something.
Exactly.
But he fucking did MSG.
MSG, right?
So it's like there are different versions of stand-up.
We all have the types of stand-up that we like, right?
And I'm, I, yeah, I'm like an extremist.
You know what I mean?
When it comes to that shit.
I'm Malcolm.
Yeah.
You know, like, I know there's, I'm Martin when it comes to certain things, but I'm Malcolm when it comes to this stand-up shit.
Yeah.
Right.
So it's like I'm not very open-minded about the stand-up that I don't love.
Right.
But that doesn't mean that there aren't these motherfuckers that are out here doing huge tours, killing it.
Those people are successful as a comic.
Yeah.
At the end of the day, and this is the tough thing, I think, for a lot of industry folks.
And I think this is something that Tim Tim like tapped in on that is probably painful.
I don't know.
I can't decide how someone feels if they're upset.
But like when Tim was talking about selling tickets and selling more tickets, and it's just like, there's one metric that you can really tell if people fuck with you or not.
And that's if they leave their house to see you.
Yeah.
The industry can inflate people and make us think that they're superstars and shit like that.
It can inflate the bank account.
It can inflate the bank account.
Oh, absolutely.
But in terms of stand-up comedy, doing comedy in front of people, that is the game.
You do a special one every few years.
The game is going out in front of people.
Do people leave their house, get a babysitter, get a fucking Uber, put on a nice outfit, buy some drinks, food to come see you?
That is, to me, the one true metric if you are succeeding in that craft.
And it can drive you crazy as a comedy purist or even a music purist in the music industry to see guys who you don't find as pure selling wild tickets more than you.
Can I be honest with you?
Huh?
My understanding is Lil Nas X can't sell 4,000 tickets in a market.
Lil Nas X is one of the biggest music stars on the planet.
Yeah.
My understanding from Music Insider, I'll keep that quiet, is he can't do 4,000 tickets.
Now, that is as industry as you can get, right?
Yeah.
Like, Lil Nas X is part of the fabric.
He's part of the industry.
Industry pushing him, getting radio play, all this kind of stuff, and dope stuff.
And brilliant at working Instagram and TikTok and brilliant at marketing.
Like, the songs are fire, too.
I fucks with it.
But if you're not moving more than 4,000 tickets, how much do people really fuck with you?
Yeah.
But that's tricky when it comes to comedy, though.
Go.
You know what I mean?
Because, like, for example, Patrice O'Neal.
Yep.
Was like legendary comic, your favorite.
Yep.
But wasn't it?
Not very successful.
Like, he was pretty successful, but not very successful.
Right.
He wasn't doing like theater.
Chris Rock said that shit right to his face on.
Yeah, that was a fucking shit.
This is one of the most legendary.
Go look at this up right now.
And it was real talk.
And nobody, I imagine nobody talked to Patrice like this.
But Chris literally told him, he's like, bro, nobody here is funnier than you.
They're all sitting down.
I think it was like Norton.
Opaine Anthony.
And then Chris Rock.
And Chris Rock was, I guess, doing the Open Anthony show maybe to promote some dates or something like that.
And he goes, nobody here is funnier than you.
But are your shows sold out this weekend?
How many shows are you doing this weekend?
What shows are you doing?
What club are you at?
How many people are in the club?
Like, he started bringing up numbers.
Like, who's coming out to see?
Nobody here is funny.
So you can keep doing all this shit about how real you want to do.
You don't want to do the industry, all that kind of stuff.
And I think Chris Rock said something, goes, I just don't want to do morning radio.
Like, that's how successful I want to be.
Like, I don't even want to be here.
Yeah.
But he like laid it down right in front of him.
Yeah.
And this was at a time, like, Patrice would thrive in a time like right now.
Because he would have podcasts.
I mean, he did have one earlier, but it wasn't part of the culture.
But like, he would thrive where you could just give him to the people and like takes every single day and he would fucking kill.
But at that time, you had to play the game.
Yeah.
Because that was the only way to get in front of people.
And Chris told him, when I had everybody hates Chris, I wanted you to play Young Chris is Dead.
Oh, yeah.
I wanted you, but you weren't as professional as Terry Cruz.
I knew Terry would be more willing to listen, easier to work with.
You didn't know the lines.
And you didn't know the lines.
He tells him, like, I wanted to give it a shot.
And you fucked it up.
And I looked at this guy who wasn't as funny, but was more professional.
And that's who I went with.
It's a fucking.
This is my GOAT.
Painful listening.
This is my GOAT.
But I can recognize that there's a difference in success.
Metrics Of Success In Film00:08:35
Right, but that doesn't necessarily take away from his ability as a comic.
That's true, but some people hate his comedy.
Right?
Because comedy is obviously going to be subjective, right?
And it's tough for Patrice to hate on another comic who's outselling him because that comic can just go, where are you at this weekend?
Comics 270?
Cool.
I'm going to be at Grammar C or I'm going to be at fucking The Beacon or Radio City.
Well, I'll see you there.
You want a ticket to get backstage?
I'll let you go.
Makes sense.
I mean, it's a Trump card, certainly, but like, I don't know if that's necessarily the only metric you can look at.
No, no, no.
There's not one metric that you can look at in terms of success.
Not everybody wants to be that successful.
Like, success is also something that has to do with your own career.
Yeah.
Right?
Like, maybe success for you is just not having a day job.
Right.
And that's just what you've worked for.
And like being able to do spots at the seller in New York comedy.
There's a lot of comics that that's all they want to do.
That's all they want to do.
Right.
And that's, that's great because that's success for them.
I'm talking about success in the grand scheme of things in terms of like who are like the top 20 touring comedians.
And at the end of the day, whether you like it or not, like if we're just going to be honest as comics, like we all know who's on that list.
Yeah, we do.
We all want to be on that.
Nobody gets in this game going, I never want to do a theater.
Yeah.
I never want to do Madison Square Garden.
No comic has ever fucking said that in history.
They might do it and go, it's not as fun as the clubs, but you want to know that you walked away from it.
Not that you could never do it.
And those are different things.
And you can take, you can, again, you can take shots at guys who are selling crazy tickets and be like, ah, he does this.
That's not that great.
But on a binary, funny, not funny, if you're selling out theaters, I got to give you funny.
I cannot say you're a failed comedian.
And I'll keep it with a buck.
If you're doing theaters for a while, that's where you got to give it up.
Everybody gets one run.
There are comics that might get one run and then people go see it and then the jig is up.
Yeah.
It was almost like they paid for a meet and greet.
Yeah.
But you a motherfucker like Jim Gaffigan, Brian Regan.
Fucking legends, dude.
These guys have been doing theaters for decades.
That means the people come out and they're like, this was a sensational performance.
Yeah.
I'm going to keep coming out.
Yeah.
Like, bro, the reason why I want our show to be the most incredible experience that people have had is because that's the longevity.
Like these people, there's comics that like they get famous and they just want to catch a lick and they do one round of touring and the next round ain't like that.
We've been very lucky that like every time we go back on tour, it's been a double up.
That goes back from like me performing for 15 fucking people in Minneapolis, Minnesota.
And the next time comes, okay, there's 50.
I come back there, okay, we got 150.
The next time, oh shit, we're doing a theater here.
It's got to keep on building.
Because if it's not keep on building, that's what's happening.
Right.
That's that is showing, hey, maybe the comedy isn't there.
Yeah.
But in terms of people leaving their house to go see you, I think that's a metric of success.
Yeah.
I think it's a metric of success.
Yeah.
And also, I mean, you can say you don't care about the Patreon number, but if you make it $188,000, whatever it is, $190,000, that's a lot of fucking people that are saying, I want to pay to hear this guy.
Yeah.
So I guess you can say he's a failed stand-up comic.
I know, because you say he's not if he's a fail.
But when you add that with I'm selling out theaters and the fucking line that's kind of rough is I've sold more tickets than you ever have.
I am selling right now more tickets than you ever have.
It's like, yeah, man, I can't, I can't really knock it anymore.
I think I'm a funnier comic than you.
If that's the case, then it's undeniable.
More people want to see, if that's the case, I don't know if that's the case, but if that is the case, more people want to go see Tim Dylan do stand-up than Michael Check.
I don't know if that's true.
I don't know who sells more tickets, Michael Check or Tim Dylan.
True.
All I know is that we sell more tickets than both of those losers.
You guys both lack success.
When we say we, we mean Andrew.
Yeah, that's what we mean.
Yeah.
But we speak in Wii's over here.
Okay.
Step it up both of us.
I'll be at Zane's after Thanksgiving.
Director hated me.
No, stop beefing, y'all.
We love both of you.
And I hate to see it.
Even though I like it, it's fun to have a little drama in the comedy world.
And they probably both know what it is.
It's good for both of them.
Like you said, they're both probably having some fun.
It's just like there's a couple words that are out there that in comedy are it's tough to have handshakes after that.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
You know what I mean?
The hack and then failed.
Yeah.
Calling someone a hack is tough and then calling someone a failed comic is tough.
Yeah.
It's hard to just be like, man, we were just playing.
Yeah.
Those are tricky things.
So I hope that they can squash that shit and eventually they will.
Any last thoughts?
Duff.
Production side, Hollywood side.
What is your thoughts?
I mean, to your point, it definitely is going to benefit him tomorrow when the special drops.
I'm watching.
You think about it to your point about Dylan has the podcast and can drive people to the theaters and this whole thing of like having multiple things.
Che's the head writer of SNL.
SNL has 12 million YouTube followers, 5 million Instagram followers, and they're not pushing his special one.
Even if it is on Netflix, you would think like you'd get some support from the machine, but like, Che, it just shows like he needs this.
That's interesting.
That's interesting.
You, yeah, that's interesting.
You could be the head writer of this institution, but because that institution is competing with another institution, they cannot promote your shit.
Yeah.
So you have to nomad.
I mean, this is just a perfect example of what's going on in the game right now.
You have to have another outlet.
And if you're not using your Instagram to like put up content or make it a place where people can see you, I mean, like, if there's no pictures or images or videos on your Instagram, why follow?
You have to have content.
What's the purpose?
Right.
So if you can't push people to your special through the Instagram, you can't do it through Twitter.
I don't even know if Che's on Twitter.
Like, you're really handcuffed.
Yeah.
It's like you almost got to go with the beef strategy.
Yeah.
You got to stir some shit up because that's the only other way.
You can't just go on a podcast and be like, yo, I got a special coming out.
Yeah, and this is great because it's so close to the special, you're going to hate watching immediately.
Yeah.
Because you're not going to have time to forget.
And then just the algorithm just going to push it up and up and up.
And you can't go on Rogan after that.
Like it is very limited.
The promotional opportunities go.
But some people follow Che for the post and delete.
Like even though he doesn't have like regular content up, they want to see like, oh, he's got a thing going on.
He's like talking about this thing.
Then he deletes it.
So I have to follow him in order to see it.
I see.
So strategically, it might be another angle.
It creates a scarcity.
Yeah.
I see.
I see what you're saying.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I mean, look, the kid is sharp, man.
Yeah.
And I think this special is going to be really good.
He's had years to put it in.
I think it's going to be good.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I mean, and the normal progress is like, okay, you're the headwriter of SNL.
Eventually, I don't think he's going to leave it fully.
Maybe he relinquishes that, just becomes, you know, someone who comes in to get featured on a bit here or there.
But they all want to then become so big outside of it and then return for hosting episodes.
Yeah.
It's also hard to leave it, man.
Like, that's another thing.
Like, the way that Che was, and then we'll wrap this up.
We already talked long enough about these guys who can't sell no tickets, man.
These club acts.
We already talked long enough about these club acts.
You know what I mean?
You sold more tickets than they ever had.
I insert myself in the beef immediately.
Fuck you both.
They just team up and clobber me.
No.
But that was an interesting thing that when he was going like Tim Dylan, question mark explanation point, like, who is this?
Like, who is this person talking?
This is what's interesting about that.
Now, Che is aware of what's happening in the world because of his proximity to comedy.
But if he was just a person who was like in Hollywood, like doing this film is one of the most fascinating experiences in the world.
Hollywood will be the people who like run Hollywood will be the last people to know that it's failed or that the model has changed.
You know, it's like the emperor is the last one to know that the kingdom has fallen.
You know what I mean?
Like it's, it's basically what happens is like you're encased with a group of people.
Like you're in your little bubble.
Yeah.
And nobody is really valuing anything outside the bubble.
Like everybody's convinced that that bubble is the most important thing in the world.
I'm sure we do with podcasting and YouTube and stand-up as well.
Like we all think stand-up is so fucking important and the whole world is going to crumble without it.
But the average person's like, wait, Chappelle was talking about training.
What are you talking about?
Like it just means nothing to them.
Right.
But like, and on that film, the people that are like in the film, the people, like the actors and like the head producer, that kind of, those kind of people like that, they have no clue what we're doing.
Breaking The Comfort Bubble00:12:23
Right.
Now, I'm not trying to like define stuff in terms of like money, but like we're probably making more money than most people on that film.
I'm like, if that's success, like, but they don't know that this is even a thing.
They're like, oh, a podcast?
Yeah, my nephew has a podcast.
Everybody has a podcast.
Like, they don't understand really like what's shifting culture now because they're so wrapped up in what is Hollywood and what is filmmaking.
Yeah.
The people who do know me or what we got going on over here, the key grips, the catering, the lighting guys, like all the regular people know what's happened.
They know what's shifted, right?
But the people in the castle.
They're like the guys defending the wall in Game of Thrones.
They're the first motherfuckers.
Yeah.
Right?
TSA sees Andrew's business information.
TSA knows who the fuck we are.
People in first class might not.
Right, right, right.
You know what I'm saying?
But the people, it's Fight Club, dog.
I'm like, yo, White Walkers are out there.
And the industry's like, come on with that shit.
Come on.
Cersei Lannister is about to get our whole fucking King's Landing torch.
So it's just very interesting to see how culture shifts.
And it does always shift with the people.
And that's something that we got to make sure that is very important for us.
Like as we grow and we start to have the opportunity to live in castles, then we don't do it.
Once we have the opportunity to live in the, yo, it's cushy in the castle.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
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Now let's get back to the show.
This is something I think I was talking to you the other day with Mark, and I was like, I got to keep consuming.
I don't know if I was maybe talking on the podcast about this or maybe it was just you, but like, I got to keep consuming.
It's easy to go home and just chill with my girl and have a great meal and love up on each other and watch a show.
No, I got to watch succession because y'all are watching it.
I got to listen to the fucking Wall Street Journal every morning, the daily 15 minutes, what's going on, because y'all are paying attention.
Not only y'all, but the people at home are paying attention to what's going on in the markets.
It's easy with success to, I mean, I'm not being critical.
I understand it, but like, you know, seeing what happened with Eddie Murphy, like being so removed from life, so removed from culture, he's probably happier because of it.
But I still want to fight.
Yeah.
And in order to fight, we got to train.
You want longevity.
You stay plugged in.
Chris Rock stays plugged the fuck in.
Reading the fucking newspaper every single day.
Dave, read it.
I'm sure everyone or like conversations with people.
It's like, we got to keep going, bro.
Yeah.
Like, it's just, and this is what, and you see what happens to the people that don't.
And they just continue to surround themselves with people who also aren't.
Yeah.
And now they're just living in the castle, having no fucking clue that there's a rebellion happening outside.
Yeah.
I don't think that's Shay because he's a comic.
He knows what's going on in the world.
Yeah, he's a comic first.
But I do know that there are people in the industry that do believe that.
Yeah.
And they have no fucking clue.
And the criticism, they just wipe off because like, why would we even care?
This isn't, they're not even making TV shows.
They're not even doing this.
Yeah.
It don't matter anymore.
What do you say to 188K a month, though, or 190 or whatever it is?
What do you say to that?
When you find out somebody's making that much a month, you know, Ocota pockets because it was said $190, but he just keeps bringing up $190.
So you went to go check those.
No, I don't know.
Because, you know, Patreon numbers aren't always accurate.
So sometimes guys, ours are actually higher than what you're seeing.
But I'm just saying, what do you say to one guy getting that?
You guys say he's not doing nothing?
That's two and a half million off a podcast Patreon.
Yeah, you know how many people would quit comedy for that?
Yeah.
100%.
You know how many people would love to fail at comedy that way?
Oh my God, dude.
I guarantee most of the people that are doing comedy would love to fail at comedy.
Yeah, I'm a failed comic who's got an account with Golden Sex.
Fail at comedy and have a Patreon that's doing those type of numbers and tour theaters.
Yeah.
That seems like a pretty good way to fail.
You failed up hard as fuck.
I think it's inevitable, though.
It's going to happen.
And also to defend Che, like, to not be able to read and become the head writer now, that's also a pretty good thing, too.
Like, I think they're both maxing out.
They're both maxing out their failure.
The response to you're a drunk who can barely read and just say fair point is that's really funny to me.
All fair points.
He couldn't read it.
That's why I said fair point.
He's just like, these seem good.
I think he was probably being complimentary.
No.
What were you about to say, Mark?
No, I just think it's like inevitable.
Like, there's TikTok kids making crazy money, like super successful.
I don't even know.
Like, bro.
I don't know what Samer is doing shit.
I was talking to Mateo.
He was like, oh, yeah, you know Bob the Drag Queen?
I was like, no.
Doing theaters for the last 20 years.
Like, ultra famous, whatever.
Just I'm not aware of it.
Yeah.
But it's up to us to stay plugged into it.
And you are more aware of it than the average person.
I think you're maybe less aware than like one of the people that's in that community and finds that important.
But like in terms of what's going on, you know, I think you kind of plugged it.
I mean, aware is like the exact word, though.
Like, I'm not plugged in to like different communities that are outside of my life.
50 is plugged in.
Even if it's not in his community, he knows what the fuck is going on.
Maybe.
You see him hating?
Can 50 live, bro?
He can't even be good at TikToking.
No, that's what he's doing.
Just let him be better than you would be.
But my point is that everyone's outside of their own little community.
I doubt.
That is what the internet has created.
Yeah.
Right?
And yeah, we just can't fall victim to success.
Yeah.
And discredit anything that we don't know about.
Right.
And it's very easy to do that.
Yeah.
To just be like, oh, yeah, they're like a Twitch streamer.
Who cares?
Yeah.
But then once you see them numbers, you go, oh, shit.
Why are we not on Twitch?
100%.
At the very least, this guy doing something.
Yeah.
Aiden Ross failing at something very well.
I don't know what he failed something.
He had failed something.
And I need to figure out what that thing is.
Yeah, motherfuckers are on his shit.
Anyway, let's talk about some other stuff.
So Chappelle's still in trouble.
I'm shocked at how long this is going.
Also, how happy is he?
He didn't have to go to his high school fundraiser.
Like, I think he leaked this story himself.
Yo, I think he made fun of trans people just so he wouldn't have to do events like this.
It's like when Larry David put on the MAGA hat.
Exactly.
Just avoid everything.
It's like, yo, have a controversy, and then you never have to do any of the you're a good guy.
Speech, fucking the boosterathon fun run.
You're like, I got to donate 10 bucks every time a kid runs around.
Because they come for your ass, dude.
The second you're popping, popping, they come with that charity stuff.
Oh, this, oh, blah, blah, blah, for cancer.
And it's like, how you say no to cancer, dog.
The person with the cancer couldn't even say no to cancer.
You know what I mean?
Like the least you could do, that's your cousin.
That's your family member.
You're going to say no to that shit.
And you can't just throw money at the problem, even though that's what they want.
Yeah.
Because they only want your money.
They want other people's money to save that person.
I get it.
I think COVID also helped a lot of people with that.
Go, go.
John Cena's like, wait, I can just FaceTime these kids.
I'm going to actually go.
That's such a huge help.
I don't got to break through the wall no more.
I can't fucking fly over to Portland and be like the Kool-Aid, man.
Like now I can just fucking, I can just go on a Zoom call.
That's great.
Yo, it is so much easier to be a celeb, bro.
Thank God these kids are no compromise, bro.
That's just not going away.
Even if you got the vaccine, I mean, you can still get it.
Yeah.
There's no compromise.
And the hardest part of the pandemic is not going to the ward anymore and talking to those kids.
That's the toughest part of the pandemic.
Yeah, yeah.
Damn, dude.
Aaron Rodgers actually just figured out that loophole.
He doesn't, you know, the whole thing with the vaccine.
He has to now wear masks in the press conference afterwards.
If he doesn't want to wear the masks, he does it via Zoom.
Love it.
This guy loves it.
This guy's a genius.
So, yeah, it's just interesting what's going on with the high school because I listen, maybe this shows how like old I am.
I just can't fathom there's like a whole high school that's that's watching the special going, this was so incredibly offensive to this one community that we can't even have him speak to.
This is a performing arts high school, so it's probably a lot of LGBTQs.
So there were a bunch of kids that were that were wanting to walk out.
Oh, you think Chappelle went to a black high school?
Oh, my bad.
That's crazy.
That's what are we talking about?
That's nuts.
This guy's from Silver Spring, Maryland.
Him and Blauer neighbors.
Get out of here, right?
Yeah.
Hey, well, you're welcome, Chappelle.
White people.
And they have nice performing arts high schools.
Well, apparently not that nice because he had to go and donate a bunch of money to it.
And they were supposed to change the name of the theater to make it Dave Chappelle Theater.
Yeah.
Oh.
And they didn't actually cancel it.
They just postponed it.
They postponed it.
They need that check, bro.
They literally said they were postponing it to April.
Yeah, they wanted it to be closer to Pride Month.
This is what they wanted.
Let's do it at a time where when they walk out, they might be going to the parade.
Exactly.
Yeah, yeah.
They're like, yeah, they'll be out of school anyway.
It's a holiday for them.
Damn, man.
Whatever.
Let the kids do it.
I don't know.
Wait, what?
I'm like so exhausted by the discussion.
It's crazy how that's what I'm saying.
If Trump was in office, this shit would have gone away in two weeks.
There'd have been some other controversy.
Trump would have said something, and then people would have pushed Chappelle to the side.
Biden been napping this whole fucking time.
He would have covered this up.
Yeah.
100%.
Yeah, yeah.
Nah, that is true.
Things moved quicker.
We got over things faster.
Yeah.
Definitely in the Trump era.
He just gave us much more to sink our teeth into.
He gave us fodder, man.
Just move on.
Let's go.
What's the next thing?
But yeah.
Yeah, it's tricky, man.
I don't know.
I don't know how long this is going to last.
I guess it will last as long as people have the ability to virtue signal.
And I'd be okay, to be honest.
Like, I'm okay if people push back.
Like, you have the freedom to do that.
Do whatever the fuck you want.
I just don't like this idea that the jokes kill trans people.
It's just a little extreme.
The jokes are literally violence.
Yeah, this is literal violence.
And this is how trans people get killed.
And it's like someone who's ready to kill a trans people person, like, they didn't need to see the special.
Yeah.
You know what I mean?
Like, there's not the, first of all, I don't even know if there's people on the fence with murdering trans people.
I think you're very clearly on one side of that or the other side.
Yeah.
And then those who do it are just going to do it.
But like the special is not helping you.
They're not making it that tight into the special anyway.
It's 40 minutes in.
You think they're watching the whole fucking thing for the trans hate?
They're not smart enough to have that attention span.
Yeah.
Nah, bro.
They feel how they feel.
My jokes do not incite hate.
They do not.
They are jokes.
Judge me about my intentions.
Yes.
The intention is to make you laugh and, you know, maybe be a little crazy.
Yeah.
That's it.
That's a dope form of comedy, though.
Like, hate inciting comedy.
You got to be nice with your shit.
That'd be sick.
Unless the audience is moshing, like, I don't think the jokes are inciting violence.
If they're moshing at the show, then I'm like, oh, I can see it.
Like, there's a vibe happening.
I mean, yeah, I just don't understand how someone could go to a comedy show and then after they want to like murder trans people.
And that's what they're saying.
I mean, that's what some people are saying.
Like, that's the literally violent.
I see that tweet a lot.
I think most people are saying it's like normalizing an attitude against trans people.
Yeah, I can see that.
Yeah.
And that, and I could see you being frustrated by that.
And that's under it.
You as a trans person, and you're out here like, yo, I'm not fucking lying about this shit.
Yeah.
I'm a girl.
Yeah.
Intentions Behind Jokes00:06:52
Right?
Which, to someone who's not trans is a wild statement.
Yeah.
Right?
Like, you see a person that looks like a dude go, I'm a girl.
Yeah.
You're like, okay.
But deep down, you're like, nope.
But you can't say that because then that's.
They look at you like, you ever seen a cat that acts like a dog?
That's how they look at you.
I've never seen that.
Oh, sound there.
A cat that plays fetch?
No.
Really?
No.
Oh, no, they got that.
Is that what you meant by a cat that acts like a dog?
Yeah, yeah.
They got casted legit.
They'll play fetch.
They'll do all this dog-ass behavior.
I mean, that's what that's the best pet ever.
Yeah.
It's awesome.
It's 100%.
A dog with personal responsibility.
Yeah.
It's just where do we find an autonomous dog?
But you got to luck out and get one.
Otherwise, you get a cat cat and that's fucking bad.
You're just born that way.
Pure luck.
You're just born that way.
God made you that way.
Yeah.
Yeah.
You were a signed dog at birth.
But you're actually trans animal for me.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Man, that should be proof, if nothing else, that trans is real.
Yeah.
I mean, we're still talking about it right now.
What if we just do like a remember, like A Day Without a Mexican?
Remember that thing?
Yeah.
What?
You don't remember that guys?
No, it was like a holiday every year.
They would do like a day without a Mexican.
I think like what happens?
Like Mexicans don't work that day?
There's a holiday every year.
There's a holiday.
I think Rosha shows up.
It didn't feel like a holiday to me.
It felt awful.
You know what I mean?
We exchanged gifts.
I gotta say, there's a day without a Mexican, wasn't it?
Yeah, but it was a movie.
Oh, it was a movie?
What are you talking about?
How would they make a movie?
What is a day without a Mexican?
Yeah, Mexicans don't have to be Mexican that day.
What are they doing?
The idea that they're integral in all parts of our daily life, but then underappreciated, blah, blah, blah.
And let's see what happens when you work without a Mexican.
Falls apart.
Didn't they do like a bunch of white people just getting jobs they hate?
Yeah.
Fucking miserable.
Pretty rough, dude.
There's a, but no, didn't they do something like last year where they're like, like for like a week or for a day, it was like, only spend money on black businesses.
Black people did this.
Yeah.
Oh, I remember that.
Right.
And it was like a way of putting like economic sanctions on everybody that's not black.
Right, right, right.
And I think that basically the day without a Mexican, I think it was like, if you're a Mexican, like just stay home.
Don't work that day.
So everybody can feel how integral you are to the U.S. economy.
Right.
And we know.
I don't think there's anybody who's like, we couldn't do this or we could do this without Mexicans.
I think we all know how valuable and important Mexicans are.
We're not going to pay them anymore because they're Mexicans.
That's why you're so integral.
Yes.
It's because you do it all.
We don't really pay you.
That's why we need you.
Yes.
Come on.
Yes.
And now's the time.
I mean, like, you know what's so funny?
Like, we're trying to like stop these like caravans from coming into the United States of America.
And then in the same breath, we're like, we need more employees.
It's unable to hire anybody.
We can't get anybody to come work.
The garage.
We can't get anybody to work at restaurants.
We can't get anybody to do anything.
And we literally have all these people knocking on the door.
Like, we work at garages.
We work at restaurants.
We do all the jobs that you need to hire people for and you refuse to do because you were given $1,300 twice.
The wall is causing the labor shortage.
There it is, right there.
You don't even have the wall.
But like, we clearly have an issue, right?
Like, on the same news broadcasts, people need to be hired for these jobs.
We have supply shortages because there's labor shortages.
Nobody's going to go do the job.
We can't deliver after 12.
Every fucking hotel, so, oh, I'm sorry, we can't clean unless you ask us to clean because there's nobody to do it.
Every restaurant, in-room dining, and every fucking thing.
Oh, we don't do that anymore because we can't hire any people.
There are people.
The same people you hired.
Ready to go.
Am I making a bad argument here?
No, it's a great point.
Let the caravans in.
Who's not working?
But you got to disperse them, though.
You got to have some type of bus system to get them around the country.
That's the Caravan, dog.
They'll get around.
You think they'll walk there?
Yes.
We're just in Chicago.
Tons of Mexicans.
They'll find a way, dude.
They will.
I'm not worried about that.
I'm just saying, like, that should be the ultimatum.
That's what I would do to Americans.
I mean, yo, you better start working or we letting these motherfuckers in.
Yo, get to work.
You know what I mean?
No more of this unemployment shit.
Because once they're in, there's no chance for you.
Yeah.
The only reason, if you're white and you're like a dishwasher or some shit like that, the only reason you have a job is because that restaurant has never had a Mexican do the job.
Once they hire a Mexican, you're never working again.
You have one shot.
You have one shot.
Get your fucking ass back to work or go to school.
Do something.
But once they hire the Mexicans, it's over, bro.
Have you ever seen a business have a Mexican workforce and then all of a sudden not have a Mexican workforce?
Yeah, INS comes through.
That's the way.
They get more Mexicans.
Once you go Mexican, you don't go anywhere else.
I'm being serious.
Name one business.
You can't name one.
Chinese people hire Mexicans.
Even other minorities who come here to bust their ass look at their own people.
And there's enough fucking Chinese people.
Trust me.
They look at their own people and they're like, you can't do this.
You can't do Chinese shit.
Mexicans are better at doing Chinese shit than Chinese people.
Unbelievable.
That's a good...
What do you mean, what's confusing about this?
Son, you go into a Chinese restaurant, they got Mexican dudes making Chinese shit.
Yeah.
Okay.
We have to have a Mexican face up front and then everybody else in the back is Mexican.
I mean, Chinese face.
That's Chinese shit, though.
Say what?
What else is like Chinese shit?
Food, bro.
Food, dogs.
What else?
Well, most things are probably Chinese shit.
Everything that we're wearing or sitting on is probably made in China right now.
And if they had Mexicans out there, they'd fucking use them.
I guarantee you.
I guarantee you.
I'm being serious.
This is, we need to play hardball with Americans.
This is your last chance to work forever.
This is your last chance to work for good.
You'll never work again if you don't go take a job right now.
Because they're going to get in.
They're going to find a way in.
That's what they do.
These people are resilient.
I respect it.
You got motherfuckers sitting at home on the couch smoking weed with your fucking STEMI check or unemployment.
Refusing to go back to the job that you had before.
You're not better than the job.
You did it already.
That was your job.
Creach, dog.
Yeah, you're upset at the business for not paying you more?
Where was that energy before?
Yeah, there's no promotion.
No promo.
Back to work.
Okay?
And if you don't, then what?
It's gone.
You're going to see what happens.
You're going to see what happens.
And then don't bitch then.
Don't cry.
They're going to bitch.
They're going to bitch.
Fucking San Francisco or Portland, be homeless or whatever like that.
No, we're not doing that kind of shit.
Yeah.
That should be illegal.
Getting Your Life Together00:03:11
White homelessness.
Well, how do you know they're all just sitting at home?
What if they got other jobs or better jobs?
They did.
Why not?
They didn't.
He also said white homelessness should be illegal.
I'm into it.
Explain.
It's just.
Because I think we all feel that way.
I'm not giving a dollar to a white homeless.
Come on, come on.
Get your life together.
Come on, Get your life together, bro.
Every white homeless person I see got a phone or a fucking tablet.
Oh, yeah, that's kind of weird when they get it.
Leisure activities like reading and shit like that.
If I see a motherfucking homeless person begging and reap, this is the problem, bro.
Even the story.
Work.
Even the stories.
My dad kicked me out of the house.
Go back.
Apologize.
What are you talking about?
They're a sad story.
You never get the homeless person with a sad story on the train.
You know, my dad kicked me out of the house.
Times are hard.
Go back to your house.
Apologize to your dad.
Usually they say some wilder shit than that.
They're like, I got AIDS.
Not my dad kicked me out of the house.
That's crazy.
That's why they got kicked out.
They opened up with my dad kicked me out.
Yeah, my dad kicked me out of the house because I found it because he found out I was gay.
Yeah.
Oh, because they were gay.
Whatever, bro.
You go suck somebody.
You're sucking dicks under my roof.
You know what I mean?
You think I'm going to let my daughter suck dicks under my roof?
I'm not going to let my son suck dicks under my roof, too.
Nobody's sucking dicks under my roof.
Including my wife.
If y'all not getting it, nobody gets it.
Yeah, come on.
Some sweet dick sucks in my house.
It's not me.
Come on, yeah.
You know what I mean?
Gotta use my own saliva to have sex.
You know how embarrassing that is?
Come on, that's crazy.
That's a crazy time.
So you would kick your gay kid out not for being gay, but because he's sucking dicks.
Yes.
You can't suck dick under my roof.
Go somewhere else.
Yo, you sucking.
Listen, I'll kick my gay kid out for mad reasons.
Like, I'm tired of the gay shit.
Like, that could be enough.
Like.
What's the gay shit?
Like, if he's like singing?
Being 19 and in my house?
That's gay?
Super gay.
Nah, okay.
What else?
Well, if he's gay and he's 19, he's in my house, you're getting kicked out.
Yeah.
What if he's straight and he's 19 and you're getting kicked out?
Okay.
Fair enough.
You can be there for the summer.
Because you're too old.
How long did you live with your parents for?
Until I was 30.
Okay.
I was 30 years old.
I was raised in a dance studio.
That's pretty fucking gay for that, man.
I don't know.
Honestly, it was way past 30.
It was like 34 or 35.
Nah.
I stopped playing.
Because 30.
I owned an apartment by a 35.
Yeah.
That's when you moved out of your parents' house.
I did.
Where do you think you went between?
I was renting somewhere.
You see what I'm saying?
You got to kick these motherfuckers out of the house, bro.
You were renting a part of your parents' house.
You built the wall in the kitchen.
Yo, what kind of piece of shit parents I got, man?
Making me pay money to live with them.
Why'd you bring me in this world, yo?
Yeah, you didn't ask for this.
Yeah.
I'm out there getting my dick suck all the goddamn time.
In their house?
Yes.
You got a piece of shit.
Yo, I get my dick suck in my face.
You probably got your dick sucked if you add up cumulative.
Just the amount of years you lived at home.
You probably got your dick sucked more under your dad's roof than anywhere else.
Nobody got their dick sucked more than my dad, though.
Moving Out At Thirty-Five00:03:11
Wait, what?
Nah, nah, you don't know he got his dick sucked.
Nah, no, he was fucking.
I seen him post-fuck.
But I don't know if he was.
You don't know if he was getting his dick sucked.
I seen that motherfucker walk out the house and naked.
You don't see it.
Walk out the bedroom.
Big dick!
Big dick!
Wait, how do you know it's post-fuck?
Because that shit was still a heart.
My dad would walk out and walk around with the heart.
Medium swole.
He was medium swole when I saw him.
I usually saw the Winnie of the Pooh only wearing a t-shirt with the grandfather clock just swinging.
He tried to cover it up.
Sorry.
He'd be fake covering it up, too.
He'd be like, oh, my bad.
He barely even covered.
Balls hanging out the side.
Nah, he was big dick.
He was a big dick guy.
Fat dick.
Looked like a waifu.
That's how his dick looked like right there, bro.
But just walking around proud.
I had the homies over and everything.
You've seen dicks, dog.
Yeah, bro.
You've seen your dicks.
Hey, who's got a bigger dick?
You and my dad.
Your dad's deep.
Yo, it's not even close, bro.
Why did he do that?
Was he trying to send a message?
Long dick Larry, bro.
He just need to, you know, make sure that everybody respect him in the house.
Larry Long Dick.
It's hard not to respect the biggest dick.
Not the only thing that's hard, bro.
He was stiff.
He was stiff.
It happened.
All I'm trying to say is Americans get back to work, okay?
Get back to work.
All right.
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Native Deodorant Promo Code00:07:09
Now let's get back to the show.
All right, guys, what else we got going on?
All right.
Portnoy has, it looks like he's officially beat his Me Too.
Portnoy, that motherfucker is a genius.
Yep.
You could beat a Me Too, but just by switching the narrative.
Yeah.
Like, you don't even got to prove innocence, even though there was nothing to prove his guilt, right?
You don't, usually the trickiest thing about a Me Too is once you're branded, once you're radioactive, that's how the world sees you.
Yeah.
So you got to switch the branding and you got to move the radioactivity on to someone else.
So he comes in.
He has the branding and they were trying to label.
They didn't say he was a rapist in the article, but they were fucking saying it, dog.
They were saying he was on some real wild, like non-consensual, devious shit.
They said, oh, we didn't use the word rapist.
Like, you know what the fuck you meant.
Judge people by their intentions.
Yeah.
Okay.
Yes.
Not your interpretation.
You know what you intended.
And they were ready to throw this man under the fucking jail, dude.
Like, that's it.
Done.
And he switched the narrative not to, hey, I'm innocent.
Hey, I'm innocent.
We still talking about rape.
Yeah.
Innocent of what?
What are you referring to?
He switched it to, this is a hit piece.
Yeah.
And these people are after me.
And this is why these people aren't after me.
And here's all the proof.
And she's hated me for this long.
And this person is an absolute fraud.
And frauds do things for money.
And look what they're doing.
They're putting this article behind a paywall.
He switched the whole narrative to business insider hit piece.
Yep.
And now it has nothing to do with whether or not he raped him.
That's how you beat the Me Too.
You scream about your innocence.
He addressed it.
He said I'm innocent.
He cleared that up.
And then he spent the rest of the time.
Sure, sure.
The rest of the time.
He's making the argument about the innocence.
Like Bill Cosby to this day is just going, I'm innocent.
I'm innocent.
I'm innocent.
We're like, you're a rapist.
And Bill Cosby literally came out and leans into the conspiracy and he was like, why all this shit started when I tried to buy NBC?
Yeah.
Like if he leaned into what everybody is talking about in terms of the conspiracy, why is this woman who is hired by this person who worked at NBC the first person to come out?
Why is this person who wrote the article who's connected to, you know, Viagom or whatever the parent company of NBC, Paramount or whatever the fuck it is?
Why that?
If you just start leaning into the conspiracy, now the conversation is over whether they're trying to get Bill Cosby out of here and not whether he's drugging women and fucking him.
Yep.
I mean, it's clever.
He's a genius, dude.
This guy's brilliant.
The guy knows it.
He understands.
And he also has the media arm.
There's a perfect example.
You want to go back to the Tim Dylan Che beef.
It's like, if Che gives me too, and Tim Dylan gets me too, who do you think has a better opportunity to clear their own name?
Time.
You have the people.
Yeah.
Chase fired day one.
I'm just off.
If something happened.
Absolutely.
Yeah.
Just the accusation.
So.
I mean, yeah, if you can't get fired in general, you have a lot of leverage.
A lot.
It's a lot of security just in life.
That's right.
Because now people aren't calling up Portno and they're like, hey, this is how you handle it.
He goes, I handle however the fuck I want to handle it.
You're not my boss.
Because your boss could call you and they could be like, hey, if you want to keep working here, you're going to say these things.
Not knowing that those are actually the worst things to say.
Yeah.
They're just playing scared.
And then he's coming on the offensive.
Portman went so crazy on them because what they can say.
I still don't know what the fuck he did.
I just know that it's a hit piece because he said it.
You know what I mean?
Like, we have no fucking clue.
I'm assuming it's lies.
I'm assuming all these things are happening, right?
Because I've done a little reading about it and there's nothing really concrete, right?
But it could be true.
But he's convinced me it's not.
And he's convinced me.
He's convinced me they're unethical.
So their accusations are baseless.
He's got screenshots, which is evidence that he didn't do it or some evidence that he didn't do it.
And then if you add that with their unethical, they'll put out hit pieces.
They're not, they don't act like in good conscience.
Then, yeah, they're probably wrong.
And his reasoning for believing that it was a hit piece really early was if they really believed it was rape, they would have made the accusation in the article, which then starts up a criminal process.
Now you got to get investigated.
So he knew off because he was, they were trying to get him interviewed.
Yo, that's not right.
Let's record the interview, but put that interviewer on camera.
We want to see the whole thing.
Yeah, that's a great point right there.
If they say the R word, it's a criminal investigation.
If they're not saying it's rape, it's a hit piece by definition.
Character assassination.
He either did something illegal, and you guys are pointing that out so that he can get justice, or you're just trying to sell copies.
So if you're saying explicitly he didn't do anything illegal and we said in the article he didn't do anything illegal, then why are you writing this?
Just because it's going to drum up views that you're asking people to pay for?
That's a hit piece by definition.
You fucked yourself.
And then he found the email that Business Insider was sending to his advertisers with like a hyperlink to that's what they come to.
So that's what you can do on someone that has a network.
And he just said no.
But that's the thing about Barstool that I respect is that they keep saying that to the advertisers.
They say, fuck y'all, we'll do it without y'all.
And they've done that for decades or a decade, however long they've been around.
But like from the beginning, they're like, yeah, if you don't want to do business with us, it's fine.
And low-key, I fucking respect that because it's like, you can benefit from the fact that we're wild boys, we being Barstool, and you, the brand, are going to benefit.
And matter of fact, anything that you, any product that gets advertised with us, you're probably going to see twice as much because of how much of our fans love us, support us, and hold us down.
And the second there's a little issue with the same kind of wild boy behavior, now you want to leave?
Yeah.
We're not going to have that.
Go fuck yourself.
We need brands that actually stick around.
My pillow.
Yeah.
That motherfucker is, that guy is low.
He's the most live guy.
That's a bottom bitch.
They were showing up to Tucker Carlson's house like beauty and the beast, bro.
Remember when they stormed that motherfucker?
They came with the torches and all that kind of shit.
They were at Tucker Carlson's house and my pillow was ready to go to war for Tucker.
I think he was like 50% of the advertisements on Tucker's show.
Really?
Do you remember this when they started taking all the ads off of Tucker's show?
Yeah, he was the only ad.
Listen, I sleep good at night knowing I'm with Tucker.
Like, this is, hey, that's what we need from our sponsors.
Yeah.
We need my pillow guy enthusiasm.
My pillow energy.
Real talk.
Real talk.
I would accept the ad from my pillow.
How are you political about pillows?
Like, everybody sleeps.
We don't got that in common.
You want to be comfy when you sleep?
Yeah.
Are the pillows good?
I've never used one.
Son, it's your pillow, though.
It should be good.
That shit is your pillow.
Yeah, I guess.
That's a great name.
You never use me undies either.
And like, those are supposed to be my undies.
Yeah, that's a good point.
Shout out culprit.
Yeah, yeah.
We use a different type of undies.
You're a culprit.
But no, that is a good point.
I don't know if they're good.
I don't know if they're good.
You need to have a good pillow, man.
Yeah, that's why I like my pillow.
I don't trust memory foam.
Memory Von's remembering all the shit you do.
You know, it's like having two wives, bro.
Yeah, remember if I was like, well, actually, you said this on the podcast.
Like, no, no, my public does remember.
Women's brains are made out of it.
Trusting Memory Foam Pillows00:14:57
Do you think that's what it is?
Something like that?
So that they remember everything?
See what I was doing there?
I was making a joke about how they remember things right after Akash already made that joke.
So, everybody at home, you can cover your ears like Miles did earlier in this podcast, and I'll never say a joke like that again.
What else we got?
We got Elon Musk is bullying Bernie Sanders dunking on Bernie and threatening the stockholders, too.
You know what?
Okay.
Okay, ready?
This is a tweet.
I forget who the fuck said it, but it wasn't.
This is not my idea.
So I'm not going to take credit for this.
And if you know who tweeted this, just give them credit for it.
My bad, I don't recall.
But there's a guy tweeted this thing.
He basically was talking about China and he goes, What Germany did wrong, what Hitler did wrong, is he didn't make the world reliant on the German economy before World War II.
That's the only thing he did wrong.
Yeah.
Is that what you're saying?
Is that what you're saying?
The only issue.
The only error in judgment.
In Hitler's judgment.
No, I guess what he's saying is, like, in terms of like trying to eradicate the Jews, he goes, it would have been easier if you made the whole world reliant on the German, the German economy, because then they look the other way.
In the same way, he goes, This is what China did.
China made the whole world reliant on the Chinese economy or basically Chinese goods.
So now everybody looks the other way when they want to throw all the Muslims in a concentration camp.
When they want to just say, hey, Taiwan is about to be China, Hong Kong is about to be China.
When they want to expand throughout Asia, we look the other way.
He's like, well, I don't want to fuck up my shit.
Like, you as an American got to start asking yourself, do we really care about Taiwan?
Like, do we really care about Hong Kong?
How much do we really care about the South Asian Pacific?
Yeah.
Or whatever the fuck they keep trying to build islands in or do whatever.
Is there a way America also do the same thing?
100%.
I'm sure we are the masters of it.
But why would we hold ourselves accountable?
You fucking sell out Canadian.
No.
And I brought this up in regards to Elon Musk.
If you own Tesla, Elon can say whatever he wants.
Before I owned Tesla, I was very critical of Elon.
I bought Tesla, and now I'm like, Bernie sucked dicks, bro.
Why are you talking about my mans?
Don't let him sell more of the stock.
My shit goes down when he sells the stuff.
That's why I don't understand the criticism.
People are like, oh, why do you defend billionaires?
Like, people would be like, the billionaires don't care about you.
What has a billionaire ever done for you?
And you're like, maybe $1,000.
Makes me money.
Yes.
Yeah, a little.
100%.
If I'm investing in that billionaire's company, if I'm investing in Amazon, Google, Apple, all these motherfuckers, they've done stuff for me.
Help me fight inflation.
Right?
They care.
Say what?
They went public.
They went on a stock market.
Yes.
It's a public offering.
We are the public.
They do a lot for us.
We like it.
They send our kids to college, right?
This is our kids' college funds.
This is our.
They help us retire.
If you're invested.
If you're invested.
But you know what?
Anybody can invest.
It's not like they got a moat around investment.
We don't get to spend money.
That's true.
Stop buying Jordans.
They have a Tesla.
Buy some Tesla.
Like this is American.
It's expensive, bro.
Say what?
Tesla wasn't always expensive.
Even if it's not by a fraction of a share.
Can you do that with a share?
I don't think he.
I think it's not.
It's not Bitcoin.
Literally, the company that is on this podcast, Public, says you can buy fractions of a share.
Oh, I think you can.
All right.
Well, I'm a dumbass, guys.
I don't know.
All I'm saying is go out.
So now what he did is he made the American public dependent on his success.
Not completely dependent, but we want him to win because if he wins, we win.
And that is a genius strategy.
Make sure that everybody's invested in your success.
It's also, this is the energy you want from a billionaire.
Unapologetic.
Let's not hide it.
Somebody goes at billionaires and you just go.
I just keep forgetting you're alive.
I keep forgetting you're still alive.
He doesn't say what he said.
Hey, these tax law.
He doesn't do that Bezos shit where you like kind of skirt around it.
You don't address it.
No, you went over there.
He's the portnoy of billionaires, dog.
That's what he is.
You're explaining you're losing, you know?
You just fire back.
Yeah.
Just fire back.
We must demand that the extremely wealthy pay their fair share.
Which also is a very reasonable claim.
He's like extremely neutral.
He didn't even tweet him.
He didn't tweet at him.
But how do you put Elon in the tweet?
No, he just said it.
He was just like, yo, here's a neutral thing that I'm sure no one will be mad at.
Nobody will be mad.
He's gotten much wilder.
He acts you.
He don't even need a sub.
Like, he will come right at you.
But no, no, no.
Elon doesn't have.
Say what?
Does anyone disagree with that?
Elon.
Yeah, dude.
The billionaires.
Elon.
The billionaires disagree hard as fuck.
Elon about to be like, I'm not paying no more taxes, man.
So he just insults him.
Elon is really out here.
Yeah.
That motherfucker is really out here.
And I'll be honest, like, if we're keeping it a buck, just started making money.
Wait, what do you mean?
Tesla just started making money.
Like, what, last quarter?
Pandemic.
Pandemic started.
Profits or something like that.
But most of their profits come from selling the okay.
You have a certain amount of like eco-friendly credits.
And each car manufacturer needs to have enough of these credits, either through their own fleet of cars or through purchasing them from other car manufacturers.
Right?
So since all the Teslas are very green, obviously, because they're not using no fucking gas, they got all these credits to sell.
So all their money, I think like 70% of their money that they were making was coming from these credits, not actually from the cars.
And for the first time recently, they started actually making money.
So it's like Elon Musk is beefing with Jeff Bezos over like who's the number one guy.
And it's like, I'm sure it takes everything in Bezos's fucking power to not look at him and be like, hey, little boy, little boy, you just started making money barely, little boy.
I print money, little boy.
Well, how do you know he's just started making money?
You can look it up.
It's like, I think within the last few quarters, Tesla is actually turning a profit based on the car, not based on these credits.
That is a government-funded system.
Right?
Whereas, like, if you sell paper towels, that's cash.
This motherfucker, Bezos, prints cash.
But Amazon also wasn't profitable for a while.
By choice.
They're just dumping money back at you.
Expanding and like, the business itself is generating cash.
Yeah.
Right.
And also, Amazon Web Services was generating so much fucking cash, but that's cash.
Like, motherfuckers just paying you dollars, and then you have that money if you need.
Tesla is all speculative.
Like, if another fucking car company comes out that's better than Tesla at electric cars, they got an electric car that goes 2,000 miles and doesn't look like a fucking Honda court.
Yo, Tesla's dung-dunk.
Game over.
Yeah.
So that's what I'm saying.
Like, and we just love Elon so much that we're like engaged in this beef and we're like, Bezos is the bad guy.
Fuck Bezos, even though Bezos does way more for us.
Yeah.
Bezos is out there delivering shit to our fucking house.
Yeah, but he's a cuck.
Yeah, But he's out there delivering shit to our house within a day.
And then he charges, he delivers food to our house, delivers groceries so that we don't have to carry the fucking groceries or our girl don't have to carry the fucking groceries.
And then they start charging $9.99 for it.
And we're like, how the fuck dare you?
I'm upset about this.
Your car don't go 30 miles without a charge.
I'm upset about this.
But you still love that motherfucker.
Because he's you can't even drive to Whole Foods to pick up your own fucking groceries if you want it.
And then, you know what?
Bezos is like, I got you.
Yeah, but Bezos.
And you still angry at Bezos, not Elon.
Bezos, not funny.
Yeah, it matters.
It matters, fam.
Bezos not funny.
Hold on, it matters.
Remember what you said when you did that Leo tweet?
You said, what'd you say?
This is the first time I've ever liked Bezos.
Yo, it's true.
He was kind of funny.
Invest in funny, dog.
I'm saying that.
Invest in fucking funny, man.
It fucking matters.
And Elon understands it.
Elon knew that in order for him to have a successful business, he needed clout.
He's the Jake Paul of Automakers.
Okay?
Jake Paul knew if I'm going to be a pay-per-view boxer, I got to build this shit off of hype.
I don't got to fight the best boxers.
This motherfucker wasn't fighting Ford.
He wasn't fighting GM.
He's not really going up against them, right?
This is speculative.
He's selling emission credits.
The guy ain't a car maker profitably.
He's an emission credit guy.
But he kept doing it enough to where now he's doing pay-per-view events, and that's what the fuck Elon is doing.
Now the cars are making money.
Fake it till you make it.
And Tesla Solar is probably going to make a lot of money when he has the solar panels for people's houses.
Houses, right?
That's probably going to make a lot of money.
The guy bought time with funny.
Bro, being a celebrity, we invested in him.
We invested in him, not the company.
Nobody knows the logistics of Tesla.
You don't know Jack's shit.
You didn't even know they didn't make money until two quarters ago.
But you know that you like Elon Musk.
You know that he's a genius.
And you're investing in Elon Musk.
And you know what?
I did the same thing.
Yep.
People tell me he's a fraud all the time.
He might be.
He's funny.
Do you think he's a fraud?
I can't say.
You don't think he's a fraud.
I don't think he's a fraud, but I can't disprove it.
Kind of like when you ask me why is Bitcoin going to make money?
I can't.
I don't know.
I just know I like Elon Musk and I trust him because he's funny.
You trust your gut.
I trust my gut.
My gut likes Elon.
It's a fun.
Yo, he'd be tickling my gut, bro.
He'd be tickling that gut.
This is Elon Musk's net worth in 2011 was like 20 bill.
Yeah.
But that's based on stock evaluation.
He is the majority holder of Tesla's stock.
Remember, he never pays for that shit.
He had PayPal money.
He used the PayPal money, I think, to start SpaceX.
Something like that.
So he got this crazy money for PayPal.
But that was like one of his first, I guess, big ventures.
And then he almost went broke, put his own money up for SpaceX.
The final rocket before he was about to go broke ends up going in the air.
Of course, SpaceX explodes.
His story is fascinating.
Yeah.
Like, there's an awesome motivational video you guys can watch on YouTube.
The one that's got the gangsters paradise.
Oh my God.
You watch those?
Oh, dude, I get geared up on them.
Like, if I get hyped to do something when he's about to cry, the little robot tears coming out.
He really does.
Son, you didn't watch this?
I'm going to watch it.
There's so many of these types of videos.
No, no, no.
This is the one.
When he gets dogged by all the real astronauts, and buzz all light year or whatever the fuck is never going to work.
It's never going to work.
I've been spending most of my life living in.
And then Elon's like, yo, I'm going to do it.
He took my dick out.
He's like, keep going with this shit.
That's when I invested.
Living in again.
Together we can go to space.
And then that's when you come.
Keep going.
I'm saying there's so many.
That rocket's not the only thing blasting off.
Dude, boy, it was out here, bro.
Oh, dude, it was so good.
I watched it multiple times.
Anytime I want to get charged up, I want to watch it.
I'm going to watch it.
Yeah.
What's your motivational porn?
Just down turns from kids, slapping their thighs, you fucking greed.
Yeah, what's this guy doing?
How do you get motivated, man?
Mark the Bezos videos, dog.
Yo.
I do.
He's like, yo, we're never going to come up with it.
If I just knew we can provide a service for people, and if we can put it to it in a more cost-efficient way than everybody, then that was our way to win.
Keep going.
What a cuck video.
I'm almost there, dog.
Keep going.
What a cuck, dude.
Bezos is such a cuck.
And he said we're going to live in space, and that's lit.
You got to be honest, though.
Yeah.
Bezos' gift to people is far more helpful than Elon's.
Yeah, in the day-to-day basis, right now, absolutely.
In the future, that might change if we don't, uh, if we aren't relying on fossil fuels anymore and if we need to go to space and live out there, like Bezos might take us to space anyway, son.
What is did you read this at all?
Yeah, okay, break this down.
So, he's just speaking.
I don't know if he's necessarily speaking like gospel, you know what I mean?
I don't know if he's like, yo, this is definitely what's going to happen, but he's just sort of like conjecturing about what the future is going to be.
And I don't know if he's saying his blue origin is going to do this.
Well, he said, like, that's sort of like the mission and like kind of where we would like to see things go eventually with.
I just want to say the fit is fire and shouts to kids super.
Yeah, this is fire.
This is the new drop.
This is the new drop.
Is fire.
He'll hook you up.
I need to talk to Colm Colum, who spells his name C-O-L-M.
Yeah.
It's Irish.
This is your people.
You should know that.
But he's Scottish, yo.
I'm Scottish, son.
Don't do it.
Don't do it, Mark.
Don't do it.
You guys are NAFTA, dog.
Hey, dog.
That's Florida and Georgia.
That's the same shit.
Hey, dog.
Don't do that.
That's the same country.
That's only a Pakistani.
Pakistan, India, same country, bro.
Yeah, coming from different countries.
Bro, come on.
Fuck, he's right.
We are all the same guy.
He got you, dog.
You see what he fucking did right there?
God damn, these white guys.
A little geographical nerd over there.
Shit.
Okay.
Keep talking.
Keep talking about that shit.
Keep talking about that shit.
You know what I mean?
All right.
So basically, he's like, all right, we're going to just go to Earth to visit.
Shout out to Miles, just like Miss Mary Matt over there.
This motherfucker out here looking cute.
So Miles, he's looking cute today.
That little cardigan with the rollout.
Yo, that motherfucker's cute.
Pour me a hot toddy.
Let me sit by the fire with Miles.
Yo, that's adorable, dog.
Okay, go, go, hit this shit.
So he said, yo, we're all going to just live in space.
Most people are going to be born in space.
Space is going to be their home.
We're going to have like centrifuges that create gravity where you can just kind of live on your little spaceship and walk around like regular.
That is a cool thing that they showed in Interstellar.
Did you see that movie?
No, I never seen it.
So the way that they created the gravity, they showed it in a couple of these space movies is they have the space station itself spinning fast enough where it produces enough centripetal force or centrifugal centrifugal or centripetal.
One of those, enough force where you're being pushed to the ground.
Whoa.
And that's essentially, it almost feels like the opposite of what should happen for us.
Like, shouldn't we be like flying off?
I don't know how this shit works, though.
Son, son, there's no backup for that.
If that one of them shits breaks, we're all just floating.
In the fucking ether.
That is the tricky thing.
But it kind of cool idea conceptually, right?
Like, I'm trying to think of something like you're swinging like a chain mail.
Yeah.
You know, that like ancient Scottish weapon that's super sick.
Yeah, an ancient weapon that a lot of people use.
Yeah.
It was a Scottish weapon.
We use it the best.
Who else used it?
What did the French use it for?
To sit on?
You guys just rub your fucking clicks on it during war?
Is that what you guys did?
Just share that?
Just go ass to ass in some chainmail.
But, right?
Just Joan of Arc just fucking diddle.
Diddling away.
But yeah, just like, you know, when you're swinging like that and all the pressure's going to the outside, right?
Well, what if you built society on the inside of a circle?
Extracting Water From Ice00:15:13
Yeah.
Right?
And they're swinging like that or spinning like that.
Yeah.
Your feet would be pressed.
Yeah.
Just like the fucking Tilta World.
Yeah.
That's the example.
Perfect example.
Yeah.
So I don't know how the fuck that they can make it like normal to walk around because that Tilta World shit feels weird.
Yeah.
But that's what Bezos said they're going to do.
And then we're just going to visit Earth.
Like it's like a vacation.
Like Yellowstone, yeah.
Like Westworld, but Earth.
Okay.
Do you believe it?
And what do you think timeline is?
I don't know.
I'm almost like, why do you want that to happen?
That's what I'm saying.
Okay.
I guess he's just thinking we're going to fuck up Earth so bad or who's we?
Yeah.
Who are the people that are fucking up Earth?
That's true.
We're very green on this podcast.
That's what I'm saying.
We're greenest podcasts.
Eco-friendly podcast.
Yeah.
But who's fucking up Earth?
Us, I think.
Yes, it's definitely us.
Are we fucking up Earth?
The Earth looks the same.
This podcast has done very good.
Does Earth look different than when you were younger?
No.
I think it does.
How, though?
Like, if you look at a map, I think it's more blue.
Ice melts.
Bro, stop with the maps.
Ice melts.
I think there's more water.
I think ice is melting in a way.
Ain't no more water.
Human beings are 70% water.
We need that shit.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Doesn't know anything about water.
No, that's a good point.
Humans are so sad.
Also, why are we drinking that shit?
Right?
Like, if the ice caps are melting, the polar ice caps are melting, put a little thing down there.
Yeah.
Like, before it goes into the water, the salt water to make it all salty, put a little bin.
Yep.
Right?
Like, you put a little bin right there.
That's all the water.
We're going to drink it.
We're going to pee it out.
Right?
Water cycle.
That's it.
Like, literally, I don't see this as a problem.
How the fuck is it possible?
And I mean this sincerely.
How the fuck is it possible that you have all these videos coming out talking about the next great crisis is what, Mark?
Climate change?
Is it climate change?
Water.
Remember, Nestle's buying up all the water?
Have you guys seen these videos?
I think even Jake Tran maybe did one.
And it's like Nestle, the company that we know for chocolate, is really just a corporation like anyone else.
And they're buying up all these like water.
They're not called reservoirs, but they're buying up land that have like water suppositories underneath the land.
They're called aquifers.
Yes.
Holy shit.
Good.
That's great.
You guys got that.
So.
Yeah, that was fucking awesome, guys.
So they're buying up the land that have these aquifers, right?
So that they can extract that water, right?
And they're going to basically own all the water.
And then when we allegedly, we're going to run out of water.
And that's a big issue.
And people are talking about like the desalination process.
Like, oh, we can just take all the salt water from the ocean.
Family figured out how to do that.
Yeah, and we can.
We can.
It's just very costly.
It takes a lot of time.
Israel number one in the world for that.
They figure that out?
Yeah, yeah.
Really?
Why?
It's because you have that water that you can't sink in.
Yeah, yeah.
Right?
They just had to figure out a way to drink the Dead Sea.
But it's not that hard, though.
You just have it evaporate.
What's that?
The water.
Like salt water.
You just have it evaporate, then you can drink it.
What are you talking about?
What's happening right now?
If it evaporates, how the fuck can you drink it?
Yeah.
Because that's how you do water.
If you're on a boat.
Mark, if it's evaporated.
Yeah, but then you have a tent to catch it and then you drink the water that's condensed.
That's how you do it.
If you were trapped on a deserted island, that's the only way to get fresh water.
Bro, no, bro.
No, Here's the thing.
You don't watch movies, but like, I know you saw enough of the Matt Damon on space movie where you think that you understand how water is.
Or castaway.
Or castaway.
That's condensation, bro.
Yeah, that's not evaporation.
That's condensation.
Well, it becomes condensation.
Nah, nah, nah, it don't.
It don't.
It don't.
How does it condensate?
I don't even know what you're trying to say.
I swear to God, I don't even know what's going on.
When you put salt water in it, boil the salt water.
The steam goes on like a palm frond if you're on an island.
And then that water on top of there will be fresh.
And that's how we're going to feed our society when everything starts.
That's what I'm trying to say.
Like, you don't need to go through all that process to go get the salt water.
If we know the glaciers are melting, are they not melting, Miles?
You look like you do expeditions.
My God.
It's like an NVR host.
He's going to be honest.
He really is.
Yo, where's your red beanie, Bill Murray?
Okay.
So if we know for a fact that we're running out of water, right?
Yeah.
You got one group of these environmentalist motherfuckers talking about we're running out of water.
We got another group of these environmentalist motherfuckers talking about the polar ice caps are melting.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Problem solved.
We fixed it.
You're welcome.
Done.
Yep.
Yo.
Do you not see this?
I just solved global warming.
The water is gone.
Nestle thinks that they got the monopoly on the water.
Dumbasses.
Ha!
They don't know.
Okay.
Okay, so what are you casting the water with?
I don't know, but I think if I'm Hershey, I'm going up to the polar ice caps.
A little canopy?
Yeah, we're gonna have a little chocolate wars.
Yeah, and you go up there, you take some buckets, you take something, and you start chopping away at those motherfucking glaciers.
Because what's happening right now?
Them glaciers are falling into the water, landing on polar bears, polar bears dying.
Yeah, seals are also dying.
We could take that valuable glacial ice.
Yeah.
Okay.
And instead of just letting it be in the fucking water where it melts and it just turns into more salt water, it's a problem for everybody.
Nobody likes salt water.
Okay.
That's the worst water.
Yeah, yeah.
Okay.
That and Evian.
Thanks to your people.
No, Evian, they get that from the mountains.
That's the problem.
From the Alps, though.
Wait, glacier water is fresh water.
Yes, you fucking retard.
I actually don't know if that's true.
How the hell could it freeze?
I actually don't know if that's true.
If it has salt in it, why you don't know?
Of course it's true.
Why do you think if you put salt water?
It starts at the top of the fucking mountain.
Where's it going to get the salt?
If you put something on the glacier goes from the top of the mountain down into the water.
The burger icebergs is in the water floating.
Bam.
An iceberg is the part of the glacier that broke off.
So iceberg isn't ice or is it salt?
No.
A little bit, you don't think?
Just sticking to it?
Son, no.
So what water means?
You want to just take the top of the bottom?
How did the glacier form?
Say what?
How'd the glacier form?
It didn't form from rain.
He came from the top of the mountain.
He came from the top of the mountain, the fucking rivers and shit.
Rain, bruh.
Rain.
How did you not know this?
I didn't know this.
I can't believe I'm surrounded by such incompetence.
Hold it up, please.
You know about this.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
God, you're not talking dove because I'm Googling to make sure that we're right.
I mean, yeah, icebergs float in the ocean, but they're made of frozen fresh water, not salt water.
Yeah, duh.
You know that, though?
Can I be honest?
I guess I thought like the other ice would freeze too.
I thought a little bit of salt water, very difficult to freeze.
But it's so cold.
Eventually, salt water does not freeze because it has zero Kelvin, it'll freeze.
No, even Kelvin won't freeze it.
Kelvin can freeze it.
Nah, Kelvin, don't do that shit.
I don't think Kelvin can't freeze it, bro.
Kelvin is a good freaking freeze.
Who is Kelvin's that cold-ass black guy?
He just comes around freezing.
No, for real.
Kelvin, maybe if you get to Kelvin, that works.
Yeah.
Oh.
Kelvin.
I'm just saying.
I'm just saying, this is a fact.
We have a water issue over here and we have a water solution over here, but nobody is taking advantage of it.
Chop away at the fucking glaciers.
What do glaciers even do?
They do nothing.
It's just for rich people to go look at.
They actually serve no fucking environmental.
Where do the polar bears live?
On these stupid ice caps.
You think they want to live there?
You think a fucking polar bear knows it's an ice cap?
No, they don't know it's an ice cap till it's in the middle of the goddamn ocean, right?
And just chilling there, like, what the?
How the fuck I got here?
Yeah, they thought it was land.
Yeah, they want to be fucking snowboarding drinking coke.
They want to be a bad.
How are we going to get the ice to wherever it's going?
Say what?
You can keep it in buckets.
We just fly mad buckets back.
Hey, bro.
Hey, bro.
You floated.
Yeah, it's already in the water.
It's in the water.
Just push the shit.
Matter of fact, I think it was Saudi Arabia or one of the countries out there that tried to chop off a section of an iceberg or a glacier and then literally tug it to Saudi Arabia so they could have fresh water.
You can look that up.
But this was a.
Did it work?
I think that shit melted, bro.
But it's hot out there in the desert.
Oh, it's just hot out there in the desert.
You know what I mean?
That's a lot.
Boiling hot.
That's a lot.
Or they didn't take a big enough piece.
Take a bigger piece.
You don't got to get it.
Actually, got you.
You got to bring that shit all the way back to Saudi Arabia.
Bring that back to Nova Scotia.
Let it melt it.
Process it there when it's still cold.
Yeah, someone from the UAE.
UAE.
Done.
It was just a guy that did it or the government?
The government.
It was an idea.
But desalination, salinization is probably the easier one.
Nope.
Nope.
Desalinization doesn't stop the water.
We have an issue with too much water and too little water.
Yeah.
He's saying the ice caps are killing the polar bears because they're breaking off, bro.
I don't care about the polar bears, I'll be honest with you.
But added benefits.
The seals.
That's an added benefit.
Penguins.
None of them want to be on no fucking ice cap, dog.
No.
Ice caps stink.
Where do we cause problems?
Where do we relocate them?
What?
Where do we relocate them?
Relocate who?
Penguins, polar bears.
To the land.
They're not like the penguins that go on the sand.
We're good.
They're happy there.
Animals are resilient, fam.
If I...
If a polar bear could find its way into a garbage can, it could find its way onto some fucking land.
You know how we could get them to different parts of the land?
Is we could take all the cubs from one polar bear, and then when the mother cub starts chasing you, the mother bear starts chasing you, you drop one at a time, and then you get them wherever you need to go eventually.
You think polar bears are going to be chasing their cubs?
That is a fucking genius idea.
I just thought of it.
That is an genius.
I don't know how, but I just thought of it.
Holy shit.
And then you raise those polar bear cubs in captivity.
Yeah.
And then when they're badass enough, then you can like fight them or do events with them.
Yeah.
Fuck, man.
You're right.
Anyway, think about that.
That's a good idea.
You are absolutely brilliant.
Genius.
I'm an innovator.
Anyway, I solved the environmental crisis.
Thank you so much.
Yeah, you're welcome.
You still believe the Earth is heating up or not?
How do we know it's the Earth's fault?
Well, it's not the Earth's fault.
It's our fault.
How do we know it's our fault?
We don't know that.
How do we not know it's just the sun's fault?
I would blame the sun.
Where's all the heat coming from?
Coming from the sun.
But they're also trying to say that there's an ozone layer that's being depleted because of all the chlorofluorocarbons that we're using.
That sounds like the sun's problem, bro.
That's right.
Yeah, we put that together, buddy.
We abbreviated that after he said it.
That sounds like the sun's problem, dude.
Nah, that is the sun's problem, but like, okay, so it gets a little hotter.
What's the big deal?
Well, everything melts, then we all get super hot.
What if you just went up there with aluminum foil?
Keep going.
It's a very reflective surface.
Aluminum foil is just going to reflect all the sunlight back.
Yeah.
Now it actually might even be global cooling.
No, but then you might make space too hot.
Son, I got an idea.
I saw this shit right now.
Y'all ready?
Yeah, go ahead.
It's light.
Yeah, it's the sun.
It's light.
The sun makes light.
How did the dinosaurs go extinct?
Oh, meteor shower.
Meteor, not shower.
Bath?
Asteroid?
Asteroid.
A meteor hit the earth.
Okay, yeah.
Right there by the Caribbean.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Okay?
The dust cloud caused by the meteor blocked the sun for what?
Wow.
Million years?
Made the ice age.
Made the ice.
There's no sun, bro.
There's no sun.
Everything's cool.
Smaller meteor.
Oh, like this little one.
Little meteor in the places where there's ozone depletion.
Control meteorite.
Control meteor.
Send some dust up in there.
Dust works.
Dust blocks the sun.
Yeah.
Get some dust up in there.
Make it a little more winter.
A little bit more winter.
Not too much dust.
And then do it incrementally.
I don't believe that.
Dust?
How long dust lasts?
Dust be lasting.
Dust don't last that long, dog.
That should be settling mad quick.
Son, but dust, though?
Dust.
Like, that's.
You ever go to an old thing?
Full of dust.
Yeah, it's dust.
Yeah, but dust lasts.
That's because dust settles.
It comes down.
Yeah.
That's exactly.
Dust's not in the fucking.
It's not on the roof.
Bro, dust is everywhere.
Dust is all over, dog.
Yeah, it does be settling, dog.
It cannot possibly block the sun for long enough to cause a motherfucking ice age.
So what happened?
That's wild, dog.
What happened?
I don't know, but I don't believe it's dust.
Why not?
Son, it was radioactivity from the meteor.
Like the way fucking.
You're talking about radioactivity.
Yeah, the way fucking the nukes fucked up Japan for mad long.
Decades of kids coming out.
Looking at this shit.
Where's the radioactive material on the meteor?
Son, it's mad.
Have you not seen Meteor Man?
He gets hit by a meteor and he gets mad radioactive powers.
I didn't see that.
I never saw that.
Son, you guys don't know about Robert Townsend?
I've never heard of that, dog.
That's a black superhero.
You guys fired.
You know what I mean?
I don't know how it woke as me.
You know what I mean?
Touched the Jet magazine, you everybody that was in it 30 seconds.
It's really incredible.
I'm just saying, I think there might be one fundamental flaw in your idea.
I think the fundamental flaw is dust, bro.
A dust caused an ice age.
Let me think, bro.
I kind of believe in dust.
That dust bowl fucked up Oklahoma for like 10 years.
It didn't cause no goddamn ice age.
They just couldn't cross.
You have something to say, I can tell.
When Mount St. Helens exploded, there was a bunch of dust and ash in the sky.
Yeah, it was known for one of the most dust ever.
Yep, keep going.
Keep talking.
It made that whole area that it went over cooler by like 10 degrees.
For how long?
I don't know.
A couple days, weeks.
That's what I'm saying.
A couple weeks.
That's a volcano, yo.
I'm going to push back a little bit on that.
What year is this?
This is not Vesuvius.
No, Mount St. Helen, 1984.
It's like the 80s.
I'm sorry.
Vesuvius.
That's a covered Pompeii.
Yeah, I thought they were talking about that.
So I was about to be like, cap, yo, how do they know what's 10 degrees colder?
But they weren't recording degrees.
And that's a whole ass volcano that made that one exact area.
That was just a tiny little one.
Yeah, it could be like 12.
It could be the first 80.
Yeah, like 80s.
Come on.
Mount St. Helena.
That's a tiny volcano.
We read about that in history books.
That was a big ass volcano.
It was just a tiny little part of a massive.
It was medium size.
It was called Dara that's under Yellowstone.
If Yellowstone goes, the whole thing is.
I've heard this.
I've heard if Yellowstone goes, we're all fucked.
Cap.
Why?
Because it's just dust.
Not because it's just dust, but I just don't think if you don't want to blow, you don't got to let it blow.
Just like when you blow your nose and you hold it.
Yeah.
Why don't they let it go?
And then it builds up, and then something's got to happen.
They can let a little bit out.
Yeah, you just let a little out at a time, dog.
Like, have a little side hole you put.
What if we make the hole in Old Faithful mad big and then more comes out at a time?
That's to his point.
That lets out a little more pressure quicker.
That would probably help a little.
Yeah.
Yeah.
What's the name of that shit underneath the earth, Miles?
Volcano.
Magma?
No, the Terra or something?
What'd you call it?
Oh, the Terra Firma.
Oh, Super Caldera.
Super calderon.
Super caldera.
Yeah.
And that's the name of it.
Well, that's any of them.
That's just like a large pent-up mass of magma.
Of magma.
Yeah.
All right.
Magma.
All right, guys, we're going to take a break for a second because we got to make sure that you're listening to this podcast in the right way.
Okay.
And if you got the headphones, if you got the headphones on, we got to make sure you're using the right headphone company.
And we got to make sure that you're not burning holes in your pockets while you're doing it.
Now, Akash, what do you think the best value is right now in the headphone space?
Oh, probably the headphones I brought here.
Volcanic Magma Under Earth00:07:19
Oh, yeah.
Raycons?
What you got?
Son, if I'm getting on the train, I throw on these Raycons, and if I lose them, they're half the price of the regular ones.
I buy another one.
Wow.
Bang.
But what's the battery life, though?
That's the thing.
A lot of times these like these little pods, they fuck up.
They don't have good battery life.
Dumblong.
Maybe the longest of any ear pod I've used.
Maybe.
I'm not sure.
But maybe.
Dumblong.
Like, what are we talking about?
Son, the first day I got them, when they came to them, not fully charged.
I got them out the box, moved my whole ass apartment, listening to podcasts the whole time.
Wow.
I heard they got eight hours of playtime and 32-hour battery life, which is absolutely fucking sound.
Makes sense.
I'm just saying, the Raycons are stacked, okay?
Half the price of the competitors, same great audio quality, amazing battery life.
This is an absolute no-brainer, okay?
You got to go with the Raycons.
And if you want to get them right now, you can get 20% off if you go to buyRaycon.
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By raycon.com/slash flagrant.
Now let's get back to the show.
All right, and we back.
Um, I think it's time for feelings, no facts.
Mark, hit it.
Yeah, we got a couple.
So we just took a pee break, and that uh made me remember this story that happened.
Actually, oh, just over the weekend, it was in Daytona, which I didn't realize when I first saw the video.
I thought it was fucking Siberia or something.
I did not think it was in America.
Yeah, it was like down the street from where I grew up.
So, uh, basically, no, that makes sense.
Yeah, that no, that's what I would have thinking.
Yeah, so basically, I'm surprised it's not your face.
So, this band, Brass Against, is uh, they're doing a cover of Rage Against the Machine, and they're on stage, and all of a sudden, this woman brings a guy up on stage, and this is what happens.
So, she signals to a guy in the crowd, like points to him, and is basically like, Yo, get up on stage.
Everyone starts cheering.
He's got a beer can, I think, like stuck to his head through like suction.
Basically, like, you ever seen someone do that?
Oh, yeah, they take like an empty beer can, like, stick it to their forehead.
So, he jumps up on stage immediately.
She's like, Yo, lay down.
He assumes a position, like, pretty freely.
Whoa, I've never seen the video.
I know of what happens, but this is wild.
She's just pulling her pants all the way down.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
All right.
Take it on.
Yo!
Yo, the way girls piss is crazy, dog.
Son, it's absurd, right?
I think she just spat it out, too.
Yeah, so some guy in his mouth, he like spits it out.
Ugh.
She's still singing, which is impressive.
So everyone else is just kind of going crazy.
He seems like he enjoyed it.
Guy gets up.
He's like, drive into the crowd.
She's telling him to get the fuck off the stage.
And then, yeah, they resume the rest of the concert.
So they took to their Twitter the next day and said, We had a great time last night at the Welcome to Rockville.
Sophia got carried away.
That's not something the rest of us expected.
You know what her last name is?
What?
Yourista.
Yeah, it's great.
Like a barista.
Yeah, but for urine.
Yeah.
So she does this.
She gave him a shot.
She gave him a double.
Well, they said this is not what we were expecting, and it's not something you'll see again at our shows.
Thanks for bringing it last night, Dave.
Nah, listen.
If you're not, if somebody does some shit like that and you're not expecting anything, you keep playing music.
You the pee girl now, dog.
That's your thing.
You got a pee every single time.
And you can tell some people knew it was coming because the trumpet dude like moved all this shit back.
Oh, really?
If you watch it, like, she brings the guy up on stage, and all of a sudden he starts moving stuff back.
The guitar guy's still jumping around.
Ain't no way I'm jumping around if there's piss nearby.
Yeah.
And I didn't know.
Yeah.
Can you imagine you go on stage at the end of your show and then one of the people just takes a piss?
I mean, can you imagine like learning how to play a brass instrument your whole life and then getting in a band with this girl?
You know what I mean?
Like, if you this is all brass, brass against is the name.
Yeah, I'm assuming they do covers of Rage Against the Machine.
Brass Against the Machine is what I was thinking about.
They are a cover band.
But you don't call it a cover band.
But it's like, think about it.
Like, you're playing the trombone.
You're playing the trumpet.
Like, these are all like kind of like a bunch of people.
You were first chair of your county's like fucking band group.
Like, you thought that you were going to be playing at Lincoln Center.
Yeah, you're like, oh, I'll draw the Philharmonic one.
Yes.
Wow.
No, you won't.
No.
You are going to be background music for when this girl takes a piss on a fat guy's forehead.
This is unbelievable, man.
That trombone guy doesn't even seem to be looking at them.
Yeah, he is.
He's pointing.
He's like, what's up?
But he seems like he's pointing not at her.
It seems like he's pointing at something.
It's about security.
Like, can you get a bathroom for this girl, please?
Anything?
The craziest thing is she keeps singing.
I think I heard a shot.
She's just wild.
She's extremely metal for a cover, also.
Yeah.
It's not your song.
I'm going.
I'll go.
She's got a shit.
If that was her shtick, and then she would pee on people.
Oh, this is the best PR.
Dude, this works for fucking Ozzy Osborne biting heads off bats.
Yeah.
100%.
This is great PR.
This band is something now.
Yeah.
Yeah.
But they still are just doing covers.
I mean, who is this guy, dude?
She's getting covered on me.
Getting pissed on by a cover band?
Do you think he knew?
That's like letting the feature act shit on your face.
Like, it's crazy.
There's a can on his forehead for a reason.
And her name is Something Yarista.
Yeah.
So this has to be something they've done before.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
He must know the deal, right?
There's no way you get peed on.
You're just like, stay there.
I think he was asking for it.
I think he brought the can as like, hey, pee in this.
Yeah, I'm the pee guy.
And then she's a girl, so they just can't.
They just can't aim at all.
Like, that was the first time I think I've seen a girl piss in profile.
Like, usually I'll see it, you know, like.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I've never seen profile, and you don't realize how much it splatters like that.
Yeah.
It's like a bar.
It's like a water park where they have the water just open up.
It's all comes out at once.
It's crazy.
It's really unbelievable.
Yeah.
It's just so inefficient.
It's like a touchless car wash.
You just dumps.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Just dumps.
Wait, why do you think it's inefficient?
I feel like it's more efficient.
I mean, guys, pee, it takes so long.
You pee for an hour.
Yeah, because it's targeted.
Yeah, it's just a little stream just going.
This just seems it could be so much more messy.
It's more messy.
You want your thighs and legs.
Like, you don't want to smell like pee.
That's not going to be beneficial for you back in the day, right?
It's already hard enough to keep your pussy have no bugs in it.
You don't want to have fucking piss all over your legs and thighs.
Well, you got to run.
If you're living back in the day and like people are trying to get you, especially if you're a woman, you're vulnerable and you're exposed.
Oh, you can't be peeing for too long.
You only got six seconds.
Inefficiency Of Peeing00:09:10
Good point.
You got six seconds.
You're out in the woods.
You're just going to get fucking taken.
That's right.
Just get it all out.
Yeah.
Just one dump.
God, dude.
Yeah.
Yeah, but if you're running and you got a dick, you could just piss, kind of just aim it as you're running.
You know what I mean?
I can't start a piss while moving.
I have to stop to get it going.
But then once it's going, you're good money.
Piss and run.
They can't do that.
Yeah, they can't.
Though I doubt that you can piss when you're like in flight mode.
That was impressive.
Peeing in front of that many people, having your pussy lips all out, like the lips are out and singing.
And it's cold, too, like on stage.
Like you're all hot and all of a sudden you take your pants off.
Doing a squat.
That's probably actually a relief.
The pants off is probably like, oh, it's nice.
Get a little hair.
Get a little ventilation.
This is fucking wild.
And they're going to, yo, they're about to sell tickets like Tim Dylan.
Is it a cover band?
Is that legal?
What?
To sing other people's music?
Cover band?
Yeah.
Like, you can, like, sell tickets.
Are you just now questioning the legality of something we've all seen a thousand times in person?
I've never paid money for it.
I thought that it's like a novelty.
You know what I mean?
Like, they just like to do it.
You do it for yourself.
But like selling tickets and you just play someone else's music the whole time.
It feels like...
If they're still alive, I'm always like, that's a little weird.
But you're getting married next month where they're going to play like some popular songs, right?
Yeah.
You have a band or a DJ?
We got bands.
Yeah, come on, chill.
Yeah, yeah, he needs to get the DJ only.
You got the band.
Yeah, no, I guess it is.
Yeah, I guess it does happen.
That's right.
It does happen.
I don't know.
For some reason, there's something weird about playing just one band's songs.
It's a little bit.
Because that band already exists.
Well, if they're dead, though, if they do, like if the guy does Prince, he's like, yo, I'm a Prince guy.
I'm a Prince cover guy.
And there's a rule with that.
I think once you've been dead for like five years, your music catalog becomes like open source.
But also, we need to do Prince hologram.
That's true.
There's so, or no, 50 years.
I don't know.
Maybe it's like Beethoven, for example.
You could just use Beethoven now.
There's a life expectancy.
Anyone could play Beethoven at any time.
No, you can use it in a commercial.
You can use it.
There's a life expectancy to.
Oh, no.
That's right.
We were having this conversation because I think Disney's about to let out of their thing.
They take their thing down all the time.
Yeah.
Disney litigates against it.
70 years after the author's death, 95 years after publication.
But it used to be less before Disney got in.
It was like five.
Yeah, and then it was up to 25, then 50, and like they just keep on litigating and kicking it down.
Have you ever heard of the Red Hot Chili Pipers?
No.
I don't think they only do.
We don't think this is weird at all.
Like you can just make money off of someone else's art.
If they're not false advertising at all, a lot of musicians don't write their own songs, though.
But the people that are being paid for their songs.
But the guy, yeah, but the guy's making the money off another guy writing his music in that kind of thing.
That's clearly not the argument that I'm making.
But if the guy's getting compensated for that music, he's making the most money.
He's making the publishing on that music.
And every time that music gets played on the radio, he's making money off of it.
But these people are touring and making a living off of someone else's artwork.
You don't even know if you give them permission to even do that.
Like a DJ, though, too?
I actually think it's less weird if it's live only.
As long as it's DJ, if go-go.
If it's not false advertising, it's fine.
If it's like, yo, I do other people's music and I cover it.
I think you can do that with anything.
If someone wants to take your material and be like, yo, I'm going to do Andrew Schultz's jokes, but I'm just an impersonator.
I'm not actually him.
And they sell tickets to it, run it.
Seems weird, dude.
You think Rage Against the Machine wants to get back together to do a 100-person venue in Daytona?
And have to pee on some guy's face?
Yeah.
Do you think Tom Riller wants to pee on someone?
I don't know.
It doesn't feel like there should be some sort of handshake or permission granted.
Music is also weird like that because it's built on covers and when you start, you just do someone else's shit.
Because yeah, your shit is so whack.
You don't even have to do it.
But even that, like seeing someone do their own song, it's just like.
No, there's a woman actually in like Netherlands or something.
They got sued by Tina Turner because she looks so much like her.
And she was promoting her thing as like Tina Turner Live or whatever.
And people thought it was actually Tina Turner.
That's illegal.
Yeah.
That's illegal.
If you name a company close to another person's and that confuses likeness rights.
Right.
Interesting.
This is the Red Hot Chili Pipers thing I was bringing up.
It's a bagpipe cover of Red Hot Chili Peppers.
And there's tweets all the time that are like, yo, I scored some cheap tickets to Red Hot Chili Peppers.
And then they go and it's a bagpipe cover.
That's not you, though.
The name's different.
Yeah, it is.
It is.
I mean, I don't think they're actually falsely selling that.
I just think it's a funny sort of coincidence.
But it's sort of that likeness.
It gets close.
I don't know.
It just feels weird.
It feels icky.
It's like, it feels like you need to have a conversation with the band and then get their blessing.
Also, most cover bands.
What kind of paperwork that is around the world?
I think the bands are like, you're doing venues I would never do.
And the people who are seeing you aren't like, oh, I saw the red hot chili pipers.
I don't need to see the red hot chili peppers when they come.
I think you still make your money.
So you're like, I don't give a fuck.
Because when a cover happens within music, that's it.
There's just not enough money for them to care.
That's the reason.
It's not a music thing.
It's just there's not enough money for them to care.
Because please believe, if one of these cover bands got popping, they'd be asking for cover bands that popped up.
But that's usually.
One point I just want to make is that whenever an artist uses another artist's beat and rhyme scheme, for example, they do a cover of another one of these songs, like a Drake song or something like that.
They have to, if they're selling that, pay them the publishing.
The only way that they can put that song out is if they're not profiting off of that song, profiting off of that song.
Maybe they could play at their concerts, but if they're actually trying to make significant money off that song, they would have to pay everybody who's involved in the stealing of that or like the utilization of that music.
All the publishing, they would have to pay.
So, what the issue with the cover band shit is, it's not whether it's wrong or right, it's just they don't make enough money for the band success.
Not worth worrying about.
You were saying there's an example and they'll do well.
I mean, yeah, I think like Grateful Dead has a bunch of like cover bands that like are famous that like Deadheads will also go to like their festivals too, and like they'll do like these little micro festivals and shit.
I know the Grateful Dead is touring with John Mayer right now, but that's the actual band, though.
Right, yeah, yeah, yeah.
No, no, I'm talking like it's completely like offshoot that does like their own covers and like they'll like do mashups and shit.
But also, a lot of cover bands don't only do one band.
Spacematics in LA.
Yeah, a Blink 182 cover band will do a lot of Blink.
Remember that?
Sunday nights.
Yeah, but then they'll also do like Green Day and they'll do like a bunch of other shit.
But like, so they'll do like that generation of that era in music.
I truly don't get going to watch a cover band.
There was one.
No, I saw Spasmatics.
It was like they were incredible.
They did all the covers.
They wore neck braces like they were nerds.
They had so many people fans.
No, no, they were dope.
Like you would see them without this gear, like they're looking like Revenge of the Nerds.
But the hottest girls, Proper Sunday, I don't know, just fun.
Something different.
You're going to go to a club every single night listening to the same music?
This is fun.
No, it was great.
And music live that you know is great.
It's the best.
It's awesome.
And then if you only have to pay $5 to go see it and it's actually good, it's awesome.
Yeah, I get it.
I just am very confident that if one of these cover bands was making tens of millions of dollars, you would find bare minimum, maybe not the band, but bare minimum, the record labels, a would-star coverage.
It would be the legal pressure.
Here's the legal, like the legality of it: these bands are allowed to perform any song they want under in a venue because the venue has a they buy like a package from BMI or one of these like music things that says you can play any music in our venue, but they can't sell that music and say, yo, this is a cover up.
So the publishers are making money off of it.
Yeah, they're selling the rights to any song.
It's why like in a bar, they can play any music they want to billion people who are paying money to get in that bar.
Because if you want to go on the DJ thing, like, again, I don't know exactly how this works, but I imagine DJs either buy the music themselves or they're streaming it, and then the artist is getting paid either off of purchase of the music or the stream.
Yeah.
And then they're also getting paid off of the venue that is licensing out the ability to play that music.
So the publishers are making sure they get theirs, and then the artists are going to get theirs.
And at least they get a little off the cover bands.
But it just seems kind of wild that you can go, I'm just going to make a living playing other people's music and not pay them at all.
Yeah.
Yeah, it's a little crazy.
Like, at least the DJ has to purchase the song.
It's $2.
Even if they might have stream it.
Or they at least get the stream every time they play it.
Yeah, yeah.
And at least the DJ is kind of like feeding the artists as well, right?
Like it could be a new artist.
You're breaking them.
But not the cover band.
Yeah.
The cover band is only satisfying the biggest fans of the actual band that can't see the band.
Yeah, exactly.
Yeah.
It's kind of weird.
You would never go see a cover band.
I don't get it.
You don't like music also.
I got music.
I don't think you like this type of music.
Yeah, I don't know.
Like rap and stuff, it doesn't make sense.
And rap live isn't usually great.
Yeah.
And I don't, I'm not fucking partying, so I'm just there.
Like, yeah, I could be listening to this shit at home and the pieces of it.
DJ Feeding New Artists00:08:21
Yeah, yeah, that's what it is.
It's not the cover band thing.
It's like, music after nine.
What is the point?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Aren't there noise ordinance laws?
I can't even hear myself think.
No, it's so much fun.
If there's music that you actually know, like it's you know the words too.
Everyone knows it.
It's fucking good.
Everybody's singing along.
It's karaoke, bro.
Come on.
The thing is that it's like, it's the best of karaoke.
It is actually good.
But also imagine there's instruments.
So like you're hearing live music.
But there's also karaoke.
Have you ever been a live band, karaoke?
Oh, yeah.
That's karaoke there is.
Yeah.
If the people can sing.
Obviously.
If they can't sing, it gets a little rough.
Yeah.
Okay.
President Biden finally doing something good.
Let's go.
What do we got, Mark?
Break it down.
The attitude of the great Negro at the time pitcher in the Negro League went on to become a great pitcher in the pros in the major league baseball after Jackie Robinson.
His name was Satchel Page.
You just kind of feel bad for him.
What's more, yeah, it's like, what's more embarrassing?
He doesn't want to do this.
Like, he doesn't want to be here.
He doesn't want to do this.
Maybe he's, you know, dedicated his whole life to politics, but I'd like to believe that at 80 years old, you start to go like, who gives a fuck?
You dedicated your whole life to comedy.
Like, at 80, do you want to be like, oh, I'm not going to see my kids?
Because I got to be a comic every fucking day on the road.
This guy's a soldier.
Every day he shows up and has to be the president.
Yo, I think we need to start talking about how like Biden.
Biden is a real one.
He's a patriot, bro.
I feel bad for this guy.
For his party.
For his party, he is a fucking real one.
And he lived long enough to like be racist-ish, be not racist, and then be racist again.
Yeah, Not like racist, but like early in his career, he got some wild shit, you know?
I mean, early in his life, that was what you called him.
Yeah.
You know what I mean?
That's what he grew up with.
That was the progressive term of the time.
Yes, That is true.
I mean, it is called the Negro League.
And this is unfortunate because he's not really calling the guy a Negro.
I think he's trying to say the great Negro League pitcher.
He's the great Negro League pitcher, Satchel Page.
Exactly.
But words are hard when you're 80.
Bro.
It's so difficult, dude.
No, they're keeping this guy up 17, 18 hours a day.
Can't even remember his kids' names.
You got to remember fucking Satchel Page and all his accolades.
Come on, bro.
Yeah, I mean, he's declining.
Like, we said this was going to happen.
We were like, God, it ages you.
But when you're already aged and now you're going through this, he's cults, dude.
You're just fucking up there.
Sawdust.
On his podcast, what do you think?
Rogue mentioned that he's likely on Adderall.
I'm sure they're not going to be able to him.
Not here.
But they have to.
Like, I mean, they got crazy cocktails.
Like, they have crazy cocktails of things that you could consume to keep yourself up.
I'm sure that he is getting the best of the best.
And this is what it's doing to him.
Without those cocktails, without Adderall, without these other pharmaceuticals, I mean...
I mean, that guy was on something when he ran out on stage after he got elected, broke his fucking foot.
His own body was like, what's going on?
Yo, this is not what we're meant to do right now.
Yeah, this poor guy, man.
I feel bad.
I feel bad.
But I also feel bad for us.
Because it's like, this is the guy who's supposed to represent our country.
Like, if another country had this guy as president, we would be destroying them, right?
Right for the taking.
Bro, Lomashenko's over in fucking Belarus, just like kidnapping people out of the skies.
Is he Lomashenko?
I think so.
That's the boxer, isn't it?
Lukashenko.
I think he's Luka.
Lukashenko.
I was about to be like, holy shit.
I didn't know they elected that guy.
Eat your heart out.
That guy's just over at Belarus.
He literally just like kidnapping people from the sky.
Like that journalist that was talking shit, the plane flies over and goes, nah, get down here.
He's like, he works with a travel company in Belarus that's basically like bringing in like wealthy like Iraqis that want to be in Europe.
Okay.
And then putting them like basically on the border as like an intimidation tactic to like the surrounding countries to be like, yo, we're going to like negotiate.
And if the negotiation doesn't go well, all of a sudden you're going to have an immigration crisis in your country.
Wow.
So you're just like using these poor people from the Middle East as like a bargaining chip.
That's genius.
That's really smart.
It's insane.
Because what they told him something, what they tell him?
Europe criticized him for like the election fraud.
Oh, yeah, I mean, a ton of shit.
They call him like the last dictator in Europe.
So like he's going, wait a minute.
I'm your shield for this Middle Eastern immigration problem, quote unquote, that you have.
You expect me to keep these motherfuckers out of your country, right?
And you gonna shit on me?
You like my tyrannical tactics when it comes to keeping people out of Europe.
You like the fact that I could just go fuck you and shoot every one of them motherfuckers that they cross the border.
You like me keeping y'all shit, quote unquote, safe.
Yeah.
And then you go criticize how I'm here.
Democrats can't do this shit.
Or what is it?
Democracies can't do the shit that I do.
You need a tyrant to keep people out of your country.
And the way that they keep them out of your country is they keep them out of our country.
I'll let these motherfuckers in and funnel them right into Europe.
You keep talking your shit.
I like this.
I respect this man, yo.
You're not going to use me for what I am and criticize me for the same thing.
It is funny that he likes a dictator.
You tell him dictatorial tactics.
And he's like, yeah.
It's fired up.
Finally.
I'm saying it's like, get behind.
So it's like, this guy right here, I don't know.
You don't think that's hypocritical?
It's like all these people in Europe, all these European leaders, they know that they can't get away with these tactics because they're in these, you know, democratically run societies, right?
Yeah.
They know that they have to treat people like human beings.
So what they do is they tell Gaddafi, they tell Lukashenko, they tell all these tyrants, hey, since you guys don't treat people like human beings, do us a favor.
Handle the migration, immigration crisis, would you?
Make sure that people don't leave.
And if they come into your country, you can shoot them.
You can kill them.
You can do whatever the fuck you want.
And we'll break you off with a little bread or do something like that.
And then all of a sudden, he hears these whispers of these European leaders criticizing what he got to do to maintain their shit.
And he's like, oh no, we're not going to have this.
That's like China a little bit.
We're like, man, we got to pay people right here.
You know what I mean?
But not over there.
You guys pay them nothing so we can have cheap shit.
And then we criticize their sweatshops.
We're like, what are you doing to those people?
I know.
It's unbelievable.
Who the fuck is buying it?
And I bet you China looking at us like, I know they're not talking about us.
I know.
I know they're not talking about us because every time we get in a trade deal, what do they ask for?
Cheaper labor.
Why the fuck?
I mean, it's unbelievable.
Zero accountability.
Yeah.
Right?
I respect it.
So he just scoops them all up.
Talk your shit, fam.
Puts them on the border and goes, yo.
Remember these people?
Yeah, he gives them like a crazy visa, too.
He's like, yo, you basically just become citizens.
Like, he just gives them like an insane visa situation.
I love that.
I love that.
You come in, you're tourists, technically, but you're on like a tourist visa.
Why is writing in Belarus for citizens?
That shit is foul or that shit is.
All right.
I don't know.
Who knows?
I've never been there.
I'll tell you, he looks a lot more intimidating with his military cap on than bald as fuck.
Yeah, that's facts.
He looked like a dictator up top.
Then that bald picture, that's just a guy on who's.
Yeah, that's a great picture right there.
That's a guess who character.
You know, that one right there?
Yeah, it looks like Mike Piazza.
Yeah.
That guy's a legend.
Yeah, that one.
This guy's pathetic.
I'm not listening to that.
He got some mitts on him, though.
Look at them.
Why don't we put cool hats on our presents?
We need to.
Biden could use a hat.
Biden needs a hat.
A hat, I think, would really help him.
I need to help him.
The aviators make him look cool.
Yeah.
He's wearing the aviators.
I'm like, all right, let's go.
Yeah.
Cover it.
So much decorum, dude.
It's just too much.
We're such fucking cucks with all that shit.
Remember Obama wore like a tan suit?
And people are like, hell, could he?
How could he wear a tan suit?
Look fly as fuck.
That's a problem?
Bruh.
He's black.
Do you know what I mean?
Like, we're changing the colors out here, baby.
It wasn't purple.
Yeah, like, come on.
That's super chill out.
Like, he should have a fucking puka shell necklace.
The guy's looking white, right?
He's wearing a tan suit so he could flex a little bit.
And then the conservatives start freaking the fuck out.
This is, I respect that.
Don't call me a piece of shit so you could look good when you're invested in my piece of shitness.
Yeah.
I loved it when someone was saying, like, Trump, how could you remember like, they're like, Trump, how are you okay with them killing these foreign officials?
I don't know if they were talking about Saudi Arabia.
I don't know, talking about like Russia.
And he just looked right at the reporter.
He's like, the fuck you think we do?
Changing Colors Out Here00:07:10
We be killing these motherfuckers too.
It's your first time in America?
Yeah.
Welcome to the club.
Some shitty things got to happen for you to live this cushy ass life.
Yeah.
So if you don't.
So here's what it is.
We just don't talk about it.
I'm fine.
Don't criticize Lukashenko for the shit that you are asking him to do.
And don't ask him and don't question the fraudulence of his elections.
Just stay quiet on both matters.
Yeah, okay.
You're going to get dirty.
Then let me get dirty.
If you're involved in the dirt, it's like snitches.
It's like, I'm okay to tell the cops.
Like, I'm allowed to go tell the cops if somebody's breaking the law.
I'm not being a snitch because I'm not doing illegal shit.
It's just the people that are involved in the illegal activity that can't snitch because it's like, yo, we all in this.
Yeah.
You know what I'm saying?
You are in this.
You were snitching.
Whoever's talking shit to Lukachenko, you were snitching.
You benefit from it.
I don't think Biden's ever going to snitch.
Biden's not snitching because he doesn't do what you told him.
He don't know.
He don't do nothing, bro.
He'd be a great person to confide in.
Oh, God.
This poor guy, man.
I'm starting to feel a little bit bad for him.
It is.
And it's fucked up that we keep him out there.
It's elder abuse.
It is abuse.
It's elder abuse.
If this is happening in a retirement home, where they're like, all right, 17 hours a day, come on, get your bike in.
We're getting this shit going.
The retirement home will get shut down.
Leave my grandpa alone.
That's what we would say, right?
Yeah.
It's inhumane.
It's inhumane.
It is inhumane.
Dama, nowhere to be found, this bitch.
Yeah.
Where are you at?
What are you doing?
On purpose.
What is it like?
Anytime she opens her mouth, people hate her on both sides.
So they're like, we might need you to be president soon.
Let's just wait for you to be around for people to hate you because they don't have to keep you elected.
You're the official for the next four years or next two, whatever the fuck it is, no matter what.
But there's no chance they run her again.
Or they need them to hate her so much now so that they can start having a reason to put in someone new.
Michelle Obama's coming in round two.
Guaranteed.
No way.
2024, I don't think so.
2028, she might be in this.
Michelle Obama's going to what?
President.
Run for president.
She's going to run for president.
Obama don't want no more of that, bro.
Neither.
Yeah.
I'll be honest, though, I would want my girl to run for president.
Why?
And then just nag her the same way that she was probably nagging him.
You never spent time with us.
He says, bitch, I'm blowing up brown people.
The fuck you want me to do?
You want me to be at dinner every single night?
There's brown people that are trying to get married, and I need to blow them fuck up to save America and protect us.
Okay?
These things need to get done.
Someone needs to flip the switch on these motherfuckers.
Yeah, that'd be great.
You always want your wife to do what you got to do.
That's a good point.
So they know what's up.
Yeah, one time.
Four years.
And then, oh, it was four, two.
No, no, no.
Oh, is that?
I'm going to force my girl to do stand-up one time.
Yeah.
Yeah.
How was that?
You enjoyed that?
Yeah.
Send her on tour, dog.
Send her on tour.
We're going to.
Nah, tour.
A tour they might like too much.
Can't have them enjoy the good parts of this shit.
No, no, no.
Not hustle.
No, no.
On your own tour.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, you go on your own tour.
Yeah, you got to.
You go perform at fucking yuck yucks.
Yeah.
On a Tuesday.
See how that is.
No, I feel bad for Biden.
And then also, like, if you're going to pronounce the name of the Negro League, like, you better get it.
You got to get that perfect.
Yeah, you got to really nail it.
Yeah.
Like talking about the slut walk, like, you can't slip up.
I wouldn't even feel comfortable saying nag her.
I damn.
You know what I mean?
Like, I didn't.
I'm going to give my girl a hard time.
Yeah, I'm not going to do anything else.
I'm not going to say any other words.
I'm going to make it difficult for them.
Annoy her.
Yeah, dude.
100%.
Yeah.
100%.
I keep telling my girl, I'm like, yo, you got to work.
You got to work.
You got to work for a year minimum before we have kids.
Sounds like Britney Spears.
You got to work.
This is a conservator shit.
You got to work, girl.
Bro, I thought even Tyler.
Keep paying these bills for the family.
Nah, I mean, like, you got to work, man.
Because, like, if you want to not work, I don't want, I want you to know what you're missing or you're lucky enough to not do.
Yeah, like, I want you to have that experience.
Go try it all.
I'm doing the same thing in my girl.
I'm making her work in a coal mine.
Make her work there.
Yeah.
I'm putting her in a coal mine.
I'm going, yeah, this is what it could be for you.
If you were like a peasant of the 1800s, you might have to fucking strike coal out of the ground.
Get that coal, man.
I'm just saying, there is a there's there are women out there that resent their husbands after they have kids and that kind of shit because they're like, you know, I did, I could have been this, I could have whatever.
I want you to first see what it's like to do that.
And if you love it, then keep doing it.
And we'll support it and we'll get help with the kids and all these other stuff.
And if you hate it and you want to take care of kids and also do your other business on the side, et cetera, I'll support that as well.
But I don't ever want to be the source of your resentment.
No.
Like I took something away from you.
100%.
I want to be your savior.
Yeah.
I saved.
Remember how awful that job was?
Remember when I saved you?
Yeah.
Remember, I said you could just hang out all day and watch Netflix?
Yeah.
As long as you push a child out of your body?
Just watch the shit I'm on.
Yeah.
Just watch me.
Anyway, okay.
Anything else before we get out of here?
We're gonna talk hypocrisy at the COP26 conference, which is the climate change conference.
They set the record for CO2 emissions.
Wow.
Citing air travel as the main culprit.
Yeah, I mean, it's so stupid.
In 2019, they didn't have as many emissions as they did in this one specifically.
Y'all can't do this over Zoom.
I know you did over Zoom during the pandemic.
Just zoom in.
What you think is going to happen when we meet up?
Where was that little climate bitch?
Was she there this year?
Oh, Greta?
Say what?
They didn't invite her this year, huh?
Oh, they didn't?
She probably was annoying them about almost had an egg too.
She probably annoyed them about fucking you guys.
We should really work to reduce the CO2 emissions.
Hey, let's walk from meeting to meeting.
You're like, throw that bitch out.
She was trying to sail, right?
She would sail everywhere.
She was like, I'm going to sail to America in order to fucking whatever, whatever.
That's the whitest shit.
A Viking sailing to America.
Talking about fucking pollution.
No, this stupid ass shit, man.
Shut up, little girl.
Just cut up the glaciers.
Yeah, are you pissed you didn't get invited?
Yeah.
You should have gone.
I should have gone to that shit.
I literally could fix it.
That's the Met Gala for politics.
That's what it is.
You just go there, you fucking fly your private jet.
You pretend you make a bunch of speeches about how you want to change things.
You ain't changing nothing.
There's a few of these types of like charity events that they do that at.
God, what was the other one?
There's one in like Europe.
The G20.
No, it's not even political.
They're like, it's for just rich people.
Davos.
And there's another one that's like a rich, like, it's almost like a party and they act like it's, oh, let's raise money for charity or awareness.
Amphar.
Yeah.
That's it.
That's the biggest, that's the biggest rich people hustle.
Let's spend $4,000 per plate for charity.
And that money ain't going nowhere except next year's fundraiser.
Yeah.
Fucking unbelievable.
Guys, this has been an episode of Flagrant 2.
Thank y'all so much for listening.
We will see you on Patreon this Friday, patreon.com/slash flagrant2.