Chris Hansen joins Flagrant to reveal his failed 2015-2016 sting on Jeffrey Epstein due to heavy security, contrasting it with successful operations against Jeff Sokol and Peter Nygaard, whose trafficking ring involved fetal stem cell harvesting. The hosts also analyze Izzy's MMA loss, Bill Burr's Grammy controversies, and the double standards surrounding Kirk Franklin's profanity, while discussing rising Netflix costs and promoting Vincero watches. Ultimately, the episode highlights Hansen's relentless pursuit of justice despite corporate hurdles and personal risks. [Automatically generated summary]
Transcriber: nvidia/parakeet-tdt-0.6b-v2, sat-12l-sm, and large-v3-turbo
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Undercover at Pharma Testing00:04:35
He was the guy who walked in naked into Fort Meyer.
The speed limit is reduced in the school zones.
Should pedophiles be forced to drive faster?
Stem cell research as an effort to line the fountain of youth.
You have eight Emmys, but Emmy is a young girl's name.
Do you feel conflicted?
When are you going to investigate the judges on Toddlers and TR?
That could be pepperoni pizza.
What's up, everybody?
Welcome to Flagrant 2.
That's your boy Schultz.
I got Akash Sing in the building, Alex Media, Mark Gagnon, The Truffle, and a very special guest.
Okay, I need to give you all the credit that you deserve here.
Very, very special guests.
Eight-time Emmy Award winner.
Thank you, thank you.
Clap that up.
The preeminent pedophile hunter of the world, I would say.
Yeah.
Host of one of the most iconic shows in history to catch a predator.
TikTok's worst nightmare.
Wow.
Taking him down.
We have Chris Hansen.
Hey, welcome to the show.
Welcome to Flagrant 2.
I have a question for you.
We have to start off with this.
Are you alive?
I am alive.
I heard rumors of my death, a la Alex Jones, but I'm here to tell you I am alive.
We had another credible journalist here last week, Alex Jones, and he said that you were dead, that you got blown up in a car crash or something like that.
I've come close a few times to getting blown up.
Really?
What happened?
Not seriously.
Well, just, you know, a couple close calls here and there flying or being overseas or doing different stories.
I want to know about this.
I thought we were going to talk about kid diddling, but this is really interesting.
I mean, you almost got blown up overseas?
No, it's, I guess, more in the bigger picture of things.
You know, I always worry about, you know, some of the assignments we've had in India or China or West Africa.
I'm scared of going to India.
And it's a lovely place, but you never know.
And what worries me most, honestly, is brown fever.
When you're over there, no, It's getting into an auto accident.
We literally were in India doing a story on human drug trials, and we took the recipe for a banned drug in the United States linked to heart attacks and strokes.
And we got a company to make it in India, showing a gap in the safety net for pharmaceuticals in the United States.
So we're coming back from this very intense day where we were undercover at a pharmaceutical testing company.
I exposed the fact that we weren't really businessmen, that we were journalists.
I was Chris Hansen, and they detained us for six hours.
And it all rolled into the local police station.
We finally got it all done.
It was very tense.
And all we wanted to do is get back to the hotel.
And on the way back, the driver wasn't paying attention and drove the SUV up onto a median, like one of those skinny mediums.
Oh, shit.
We're near Omnibad in the state of Gujarat.
And so it was teetering like that.
Josh Nel Gujratis, yeah.
That guy.
Birthplace of Gandhi.
Gandhi, yeah, yeah.
Is that right?
So the car is teetering like this.
He can't get it off.
Now, the other truck has gone ahead of us.
So now we're there in a small village.
How many people were riding on top of the car?
Nobody was on top of the car.
It was just us, but the entire community came out to try to get the SUV off of the median.
And then the police officer came out with a stick and was beating the people trying to help us.
Yeah, that stick sucked.
And so finally, we tried to get the lead car, and they came back and got us.
And we were never so happy to get a cold cold beer when we got to the end of the day.
Now, you got a restriction in India, though, right?
We were detained by security at this company, and we talked our way into resolving it at the police station.
Okay.
Did you have to.
It would be way quicker if you did.
Yeah, probably so.
Anyway, we, you know, $12 a year.
To his credit, the inspector of the local police precinct said, why are you here?
Yeah.
There's no law against these guys using hidden cameras.
And everybody kind of shrugged their heads.
And they didn't know that we had all the hidden cameras.
They just knew that we had taken cameras out to videotape the confrontation.
So we said, well, sure, we'll give you a copy so you know that we do the proper, honest thing with it.
And we couldn't get out of the country fast enough.
So we were gone after that.
When you watch like prank shows, is that just not exciting?
Like, are the stakes too low?
Like, oh, his girlfriend was watching.
Wrong Guy on Predator Show00:15:53
I did a funny, a funny prank show with David Spade once on his little comedy show.
And it was a double comedy show.
No, I knew you had no respect for these guys.
No, no, no, no.
I have huge respect for kids at kids.
I have huge respect for David Spade and all the shows and enjoy doing that because most of the stuff I do is quite dark and serious.
So when I can have a little fun and show a sense of humor, so it was a double reverse.
So the ruse was that this.
Double reverse.
This poor guy was told that he was going to out this girl who was catfishing online.
So they send him in with a backpack and he's supposed to confront this young woman who's scamming all these guys.
So he comes in to do that.
She says, I'll be right back, a la to catch a predator.
And I walk out and I said, have a seat right over there.
I said, what are you doing here?
He said, well, no, the producer sent me in.
He just walked out of that show into my show.
And this guy is just, he doesn't know what to do.
He's coming after me because he thinks he's trapped now.
And I almost get into a fist fight, but it was.
And finally, I said, look, you know, this is.
I got a great prank for you.
You just got to be the host at a restaurant.
Well, I've been to Apple magazine.
Chuck and cheese.
You want.
Have a seat.
Let me talk with you for a second.
Pepperoni Pizza.
Yo, if he was the host at Comet Pizza, the world would implode.
Everybody would love it.
Yeah.
It'd be 100% fine.
That's true.
You heard about all this rumors.
Like, pedophilia really took off once he was.
You want a guy.
Well, I think in terms of like mainstream, like we were all watching it.
We were watching you.
But then the internet took hold of becoming, you know, Chris Hansen, right?
They all knew what it was.
You know, it's a pedophilia of what the Winkle Voss twins were to be.
Yeah.
I wish I'd gotten into that bit more.
One, please.
One of the kids says.
Yeah, I think, look, we got into something that we knew was an issue.
We'd heard the anecdotal stories that were very disturbing, kids getting hurt.
But until we actually infiltrated it in the way that we did using enterprising techniques, people didn't really get it.
And we, you know, my mantra has always been in whatever story that I'm doing, whatever show, is to take people on a journey of discovery, see things they wouldn't normally see, and hear things they wouldn't normally hear.
And that's what we did.
And believe it or not, it was 17 years ago last month that we did the first predator investigation.
Mind blocking.
Were you shitting your parents?
Absolutely.
My name was in retro.
Every time I'd watch, right?
Because I went back to YouTube and I watched a bunch because I knew you were coming on today.
And I was like, I just got to understand what this show was.
And the shows would be like an hour long, right?
Yeah.
Typically, it started as a segment on dateline, then it grew into its own.
To its own thing, right?
So I watch an hour of it.
The segments are like seven minutes.
Right.
I mean, you must have caught like 10,000 pedophiles or something.
I was baffled how many pedophiles there were.
Were you worried you were going to run out?
No.
Here's the thing.
I don't think so.
Imagine this.
Just a lot of pedophiles.
I know.
I thought about that.
I was like, yo, it's job security.
Yeah.
That's what you think about job security.
It's like Pokemon.
He's got to catch them all.
He is.
They were Pokemon.
In the beginning, we merely had decoys posing as children in chat rooms on AOL and Yankee.
Who casted those?
Were you looking at the same thing?
That is the question I had.
Can I have a seat with you maybe?
Like, why are you two-year-old honesty looking?
An online watchdog group called Perverted Justice.
Yeah, I see.
And before we got involved, that group would merely go online.
And when they had somebody set up a date for sex with a child, they would post their picture and their identity on their website.
And I found out about it.
I said, well, wouldn't it be interesting if we could use our ability to wire a house with hidden cameras and microphones and combine that with Perverted Justice's ability to go online posing as children.
And I'm driving out to the first location in 2004 in Beth Page, Long Island.
I'm thinking, geez, what if nobody shows up?
What if I've just wasted tens of thousands of dollars of the network's money?
And with that, the producer calls and said, where the hell are you?
Two guys are getting ready to show up in 45 minutes.
And so we get there and it was, you know, the two guys come in.
Hold on.
That's what you were worried about?
That they wouldn't show up?
Yes.
What?
They're going to stab you or something like that?
Well, that came later.
Yeah.
Once they did show up, then you shift your focus to the next most important thing.
But, you know, I mean, was I really worried I wasn't going to get fired or anything, but it was all built on the premise of people were going to show up and have something to show, to expose, to use as an example to teach people about the dangers online.
And in two and a half days in that first investigation, 17 guys showed up.
Oh, yeah.
I was like a Jordan drop.
But it's interesting.
12s.
Yeah.
You know, we do this podcast, Predators I've Caught.
So I go back and look at the previous cases and to relive them and to watch these things and go back and figure out where these guys are and what's happened to them since then is it's?
It just takes me right back to that.
So what was interesting about the first couple episodes I was listening to another podcast or something.
You said you didn't arrest them, no cops.
Yeah, what an unsatisfying ending that was.
That's why that's why we changed up.
So in the first two investigations we just went out and did it, and now the law enforcement in those communities did make some prosecutions after the fact.
But it was after that second investigation outside of Washington DC, in Herding in Virginia, that we were contacted by the Riverside County Sheriff's Department.
They said well, we'd like to partner and in parallel with you and I and I took some heat for that from the traditional, you know, journalism community for working too closely with police.
But I was willing to take that heat because I thought it was the only socially responsible.
Yeah, who am I fucking?
Journalists have their rules, get fucking rules are out the window, I don't know and trap them.
I like that they were coming from and but I did take some heat for it and also from just a pure television production standpoint.
It was very unsatisfying, as you just said yeah, to watch these guys.
Come in me, you know, knock them around and interrogate them and then just have them walk down the street twirling an umbrella.
I mean, what's up with that?
Now, there's a couple episodes that I was watching.
One is it is, it's, it's dark.
I mean, i'm pretty dark in terms of my sense of humor, so it made me laugh.
Okay good, please tell me it's the same one.
This is one of the funniest things i've ever seen happen on tv is when the guy started eating a pizza pizza.
Oh my god dude, I don't know how you didn't laugh.
When the guy goes, do you want a slice?
I'm good, i'm good.
Thank you, i'm good.
So yeah, you kept a straight face.
I would have, first of all, number one, I would have absolutely taken a slice, because that pizza had to be so fucking good that that guy knew his life was over and he still took a bite of that pizza.
I bet I know where that pizza was from.
Where is it?
Um, ate pizza?
Yeah, imagine.
No, it's Connecticut, it was planet pizza.
Wow, Did you go back?
Were you like, I got to see what this is like?
No, he's on keto.
It's a chain.
In fact, my oldest son was working on that as one of the camera operators, and he works in the business.
And he wanted to stop and get some pizza.
The predator did, Jeff Sokol, on his way from Boston to meet his 13-year-old girl, soon-to-be wife.
He had a marriage contract.
Yeah, yeah.
So I yell over to my son, Chase.
I said, What's the best pizza place?
He said, Well, send him to Planet.
It's great.
So we sent him.
And so the Fairfield police were right there watching him go in, get the pizza, come out.
So we knew, okay, he's eight minutes away.
And here comes Jeff Sokol with the pizza.
And he was among the creepier.
Wow.
Yeah, it was unfazed.
Like unfazed by all of that.
Yeah.
And I'm sure some of it was.
Predators that got caught, but I mean, still, the balls of this guy.
To not know who you are as a pedophile is disrespectful.
Like, how fucking arrogant are you that you're out here trying to fuck caves and don't even think about this guy?
Did he have you a little convinced that he might be able to get off?
No.
Not when he took the bite of the pizza and the cheese was all fallen, but he made sure to scoop up the cheese for the bite.
He was just buying time.
You think that's what it was?
He had me convinced almost.
Like if I was in your position, I'd be like, maybe we got the wrong guy.
I mean, this guy's eating.
I can't even eat before I do stand-up.
This guy's going to prison for 20 years.
Yeah, he was a piece of work.
And then in his car, they found the marriage contract that he had put and a Viagra that you described quite funny.
Yeah.
Yeah, you didn't say Viagra.
Like, there's a pill in the car that you might have to go to the doctor if you were wrecked more than four hours.
He just said if it lasts more than four hours, he alluded to it completely.
Are you on?
Are you on any of the performance in Hampton Brothers?
Not at the moment.
Not at the moment.
Thank God.
Just coffee.
Yeah, yeah.
We're big supporters of the PEDs.
Sure.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Big, big, big time on this show.
That's a good sponsor to him.
It is one of the sponsors.
We're going to take a break for a second.
Yeah, it's an odd episode.
You didn't take a break.
Blue chill.
Okay.
So you have all these moments with these people.
What I was shocked about when I went back to watch is, one, how obedient they are when they see you.
And I'm curious, they meaning the pedophiles, right?
So it's like, or the predators, right?
So when they first see you, there's a couple things that look to be going through their mind.
One is, oh, is this a gangbang or something like that?
Like, they don't immediately go, are you the dad?
They're like, who are you?
But they're not terrified and run out.
They're kind of calm.
Well, they're stunned.
Some freak out.
Some, obviously, especially in the beginning, thought I was either a cop or the mad father.
And then as we moved into the second, third, fourth investigation, it became clear that they knew who I was right from the get-go.
Immediately.
And we had a guy, for instance, in New Jersey on the shore and met a Lokin who said, oh, you're Chris Hansen.
And I said, how did you know that?
Because I watch the shows all the time.
When I miss him, I watch them on the internet.
Oh, God.
I said, do you even understand the trouble that you just walked into?
Yeah.
And he was happy to be on the show.
What the?
Do you think some of them want to get caught?
And that's why they're there.
I think some are relieved.
You know, we revisited a case from Ohio, a fellow who's a teacher in his mid-20s who came in.
And, you know, it took a while to get him to fess up.
And I think he knew who I was right from the get-go.
He had seen some of the shows.
And obviously, teachers talk about this show in school.
And he finally breaks.
And you can see this moment where he caves.
And he said, you know, I kept online doing these chats.
And I knew they were racy.
I knew they were sometimes inappropriate.
And I got older, and the people with whom I was chatting stayed the same or got younger.
I just didn't get out when I should have gotten out.
And I think, you know, people always say, what do these guys have in common?
And the answer is white.
They don't stand.
Well, there's that.
That's true.
No, they don't stand out of a crowd.
It could be the guy in the dry cleaning line on a Saturday morning.
Yeah.
From all walks of life.
Quick, funny anecdote.
You know, you said they're all white.
There was an Indian guy on there once, and my mom called me and she was like, there was an Indian on a catch a predator.
You need to be careful online.
And I was like, what are you guys doing online?
Fuck.
He was from Trinidad, actually.
Oh, okay.
Oh, that makes sense.
Crazy Trinity 85.
Oh, he was the guy who walked in naked into Fort Myers.
He walked in naked?
He walked in naked.
Wait, to your into the stinghouse.
So you saw him?
Was he?
Oh, yeah, it's hard to miss.
I mean, this guy comes in, so we're in the back room.
We're in this huge Fort Brown.
You thinking you're going to surprise him?
And then you walk out like, what the fuck?
I need to take a seat.
You know, the different decoys play different sorts of roles.
Yeah.
Some are very conservative and shy.
Some are a little bit racy, but not, you know, they always follow the protocol.
Just to clarify, the decoy, you want to explain to the people.
The decoy is actually an adult.
They hire an adult that's posing as a child.
Like a local actor, usually.
Sometimes, well, there's two sets of decoys.
So they're the ones who are online doing the work.
Right.
And then they're the ones who are on site.
Yeah.
So typically the ones on site are, as you say, kids who are 19, 20, 21 years old, who look younger, who are police cadets or college students in theater.
Can we just say one thing?
Sure.
If you pull into a house to meet a girl and she's just doing laundry, it's over.
That's before you.
If there's tea on the counter, right back.
You just got it.
You got to turn around.
I mean, you got to go to jail, obviously, to be a surprise.
I don't know why I'm teaching them how to get away with it.
So the cops are waiting for him outside.
Yeah, there's no way out.
You know what's kind of sad?
Is if you're one of those local theater kids and that's the best role you've ever had.
Like, that is the biggest role the day.
You made it.
You made your resident investigation.
Predator cooked.
But you know what?
Stuns me is, you know, 17 years into it, you know, and we're back out there doing them again and we're talking.
We have them on the YouTube channel.
I have a seat with Chris Hansen and then we're talking to a couple different networks now and putting another show together.
But there we are in Michigan, Genesee County, Michigan.
And after all this, all the publicity, all the shows that have knocked it off, all the amateurs out there trying to do it.
Again, we have a Michigan State prison guard shows up.
We have a guy who was a cop in Lebanon.
We have an auto engineer and a guy who did contracting work in the governor's mansion.
All surface in the most recent investigation just a month and a half ago.
You graduated from Michigan State.
I sure did, yeah.
That's got to be uncomfortable.
I was in Magic Johnson's class, actually.
Really?
He got to leave after a sophomore year and make a million dollars a year at the Lakers.
I stayed for $4.75 an hour in radio.
It all worked out.
He's a lovely guy.
Actually, I see him occasionally at Michigan State.
I've heard he's the best.
He's a wonderful guy, wonderful guy.
So, wait, you got your start in radio?
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah, 1981, right?
Michigan State Radio Network.
Yeah.
I was lucky in those days.
You know, if you're too stupid to realize there was anything you couldn't do, you know, nobody was there to stop you.
Yeah.
So it was like, you know, I grew up a mile and a half from where Hoffa was last seen, presumably kidnapped.
So I became fascinated with that story.
So I used to ride my bike up there and check it out.
For anybody listening, Jimmy Hoffa is the subject of the movie The Irishman.
Exactly.
And this was a union register leader who disappeared.
To this day, no one has a real idea of who killed him, right?
Yeah, well, it was mob-related.
Yeah, we know it was mobile.
We didn't want him back into it.
But there are a number of stories, including the scenario that's put out there in The Irishman.
So, anyway, when I went off to college, I just volunteered at the radio station, and one thing led to another and got a job in television my senior year for $4.99 an hour.
How old are you?
Do you mind me asking?
I'm 61.
61.
Okay, you look phenomenal.
Great.
Thank you.
Great, great for a white 61.
But my father, it's just so funny the way you say that.
Like, you just got a job on television.
My father's family.
That's basically how it worked.
I was living in a fraternity house and I got back from the mud football game, and there was a note.
Mob Killing Remains Unsolved00:12:00
We didn't have anything but pink message pads at the fraternity house.
And it says, Howard Lancourt called and said, You have to be there at Monday at 9 a.m.
Okay, great.
And found a sport coat and a tie, and off I went.
My pops was in the Army, so he was down in Baltimore.
Right.
And he just went, I guess, to the local Baltimore news station.
Was like, hey, are you guys hiring?
They're like, yeah.
And then he was just an on-air reporter.
Yeah.
Did I say something I don't say often?
Yeah, yeah.
It really was great to be a white dude back then.
That's a very like, I'm like, it must be this.
For Alex to be on the news, do you know what he would have to do?
Something illegal.
That's the way I am now.
And then he went up to, after that, he went up to New York and he was producing the news for NBC.
And I thought you guys might have crossed paths, but I don't think you were there until 93, right?
Yeah, I think he was gone by then.
Larry Schultz was his name.
I don't know.
I don't know if you guys knew each other.
The name is very familiar.
I don't actually met.
But he was producing the news for NBC.
So you guys would be in the building together, if it was, but I don't know if the timing.
Dirty Rock.
The timing was right.
Yeah.
30 Rock.
Great place to work.
But crack, kind of crazy, right?
Like that you could just get a job in your dream field.
There was access to it.
I'm the luckiest guy in the world because it's what I was meant to do and what I love doing.
And now with all these different opportunities and different new mediums in which to do them, it's really a fun time to be in this business.
It's like an adventure every day because there's something new and a new way to do it.
And you're virtually unlimited, whether it's television, whether it's the new series on Discovery Plus or the stuff we do in digital media.
What is it that you want to do?
Do you want to bring the show back to like Netflix or something like that?
I mean, it would be a lot of fun.
We're talking to a couple different networks right now, and we're looking at it doing it in a slightly different way.
But we've got many locations set up in Michigan, as I mentioned.
And so it's, we'll know in the next couple months.
Can I tell you something?
I think it's socially irresponsible that NBC ever canceled that show.
That was their reasoning.
Yeah, now we got enough.
Well, I think the bottom line was that it became very, very expensive for a lot of different reasons, not necessarily NBC's fault, but there was a lot of competition to get it.
ABC tried to get it.
Other networks tried to get it and hire away people involved in the production of it.
And so the production cost ballooned.
And I think at some level, they said, you know, we can make a ton of money repackaging, repurposing all this great material that some of which didn't air.
We do Predator Raw, Predator in Depth.
No, the spin-offs you got were to catch an ID thief.
Correct.
And there was, what's the other one?
I forget.
All I remember is the stakes were considerably lower.
Yeah.
We're going from sex offenders to ID thieves.
And it's just, what are we doing?
Yeah.
Yeah.
And so anyway, that's why we brought it back to do the Hansen versus Predator a few years ago.
And that's why we're doing this one episode.
It is weird, though, that a network would make that decision.
Like, I think it'd be really difficult.
Like, right now, it's hard for networks to cancel a show if there's like a lot of minorities on it.
Right?
Like, if Akash gets a show on ABC, they can't cancel that show for a minimum two seasons, or they hate brown people.
That is just what it is.
And I will ride that excuse to the ground.
The second you go in the office, like you're not going to do it, are you?
That's why they canceled all the predators are white guys.
Like, there's no diversity on the show.
That's my question.
Now, if you brought that show back, would you have to get some like minority predators?
It couldn't be all white.
You would need diversity.
I need to shake it up.
You get what you get.
You know, the interesting thing about that.
I'm sorry, Al, what the fuck are you wearing?
What was this for?
He lost confidence.
I came out of nowhere.
I'm like, so did that outfit.
No, but what is it?
I just like it.
Okay.
Okay, back to what you were saying.
I think you get whatever is in that community.
If you're near a naval base, you're going to get Navy guys.
If you're near Silicon Valley, you're going to get people who work in the computer industry.
If you're in, you know, one community that has it's more diverse, that's who you're going to get.
I think it crosses over for the most part.
But what you say is right.
If you take a look at the 300 and some guys who have surfaced, it is predominantly white guys.
Mark, I'm wondering, is there certain parts of the country where it's easier per se to catch and find predators?
Florida.
We did two in Florida.
The most we ever caught in three days was in California, actually.
These things are all attached to, you know, when in the sequence of events, you know, how long you're out there.
It could be the weather.
It could be circumstances in the news that day.
You know, a lot of things are at play.
Right.
And is there a place where they're more grotesque, perhaps?
Like Florida?
You know, we've seen it all over.
I mean, we saw just as grotesque in Long Island as in California as in Florida as in Ohio as in Georgia.
Let me position this question to protect Mark.
He's looking for a place to live.
I'm trying to stay away.
I'm trying to stay away.
If you had a kid and you didn't want them to be around the thirstiest pedophiles, you wouldn't avoid, let's say, California or Georgia or wherever the fuck these places are.
I think it could happen anywhere.
I think if you set it up in the middle of Montana, you'd get people to show up.
Really?
I just, I think the best way to protect your kids is to educate them and have an age-appropriate conversation.
And especially now during the pandemic, I mean, imagine all the kids who are online, how many hours they are online, and their parents are online, but they're in another room captivated with whatever it is they have to do.
And the predators know that.
And we went from 17 years ago having decoys on chat rooms at AOL and Yahoo to an explosion in social media platforms.
And we're not just talking about TikTok.
It's, you know, anything you can imagine.
And the interactive games are another area where kids can get to talk about.
And this is why I think not only because you're catching predators, I really think your show is important because if you're a predator, just knowing Chris Hansen could be out there, that might put some kind of governor on it.
But when your show's off the air, it's like, baby, let's go.
Yeah, we're out there.
I mean, we're shooting again very soon.
Hey, man.
Did you hear that?
Fucking weirdos.
Ideally, you're not fans of this show.
Yeah.
Okay.
So then some dude shoots himself in the head.
This is a tricky one.
Texas.
Because I see it as a successful episode.
They sued, and there was this whole settlement.
There was a settlement, but here's what never really got fully reported on that.
Yeah.
We had a guy who surfaced in an investigation in Texas.
He was an assistant district attorney, a prosecutor.
Obviously, that's a big deal.
He was chatting with a young boy, 13 years old.
There was a solicitation in the eyes of law enforcement.
He never showed up, but according to Texas law and the laws in many states, it's the solicitation online that constitutes the crime.
Showing up is just the icing on the case.
Love it.
So the next day the police go to arrest him.
They knock on his door.
He has an old gun that used to belong to his father.
As opposed to being arrested, he sadly shoots himself.
Shoshank Redemption.
What we don't, what wasn't reported at the time initially, what we've reported since, but people don't pick up on it necessarily, is that on his computer, he had multiple images of child pornography.
He was trying to get that hard drive off the computer.
He was unsuccessful as the police were coming in.
And as an assistant district attorney, he knew that he faced up to 10 years in prison for each image that he possessed on that computer.
A bunch of criminals he prosecuted.
And he's a pet a pedo, like he's going to get fucked.
He's going to get torn apart.
Yeah.
You know, do the math on that.
So you can debate the merits of the lawsuit.
Obviously, it was our position that it was meritless.
We were initially willing to go to trial.
There was a settlement reached.
And the reality is, if you go to trial, the news division pays for it out of its budget.
If you settle, it comes out of the insurance policy.
So do the math on that.
Nobody really was happy about the settlement initially, but I think people involved grew to become comfortable with it given the totality of the circumstances.
Yeah, I mean, if he's a pedophile, he ends up killing himself, then I think we're pretty cool with that.
Well, you don't.
I know what you're saying, but we don't want anybody to kill themselves.
We want people to face justice.
That's justice.
Yeah.
I understand what you're saying.
I don't want to pay for some pedophile to get three meals a day in prison.
That's a lot, yo.
Right?
I'd rather him just blow his head off.
Way rather sufficient if nothing else.
Yeah.
I mean, doesn't Texas have the, what is it called?
The justice chair?
The lecture chair.
Yeah, the justice chair.
I like that one.
I think Batman.
I'm sure somebody's called it that.
Yeah.
The justice chair.
Yeah.
People have zero empathy for pedophiles, as they should.
I think that's why you're such a hero on the show.
Well, if you were casting people who like beat taxes, I think a lot of us would be like, hey, give it a break, Chris.
You don't want to pay fucking taxes all the time.
That's all why you're going around chasing these people.
Exactly.
But the pedophiles, people fucking love you, man.
Pretty black and white.
Even when they try to do hit pieces on you, because we're doing some YouTube research, all the comments are supportive of you.
Yeah.
You know what I mean?
They'll try to show, like, because you had some troubles that happened in your life, which is kind of annoying.
Because like, what was the bounce check situation?
It was not an event.
It was a business situation.
It was resolved in a day.
You shouldn't have to pay for anything.
I agree.
You walk into a bar and this bud is on us.
I mean that.
I'm shocked.
I want to go have a, I want to confront that guy.
I want that guy to have a seat.
The fact that a guy could call the police on you over a few hundred bucks, I don't know what it was.
Do you still have money?
No.
I'm paying that money off right now.
I'm paying that off.
It's about to be an event.
I'm taking the goal.
47 and the fucking machetes to Connecticut.
I'm going to have a talk with this guy.
All right, guys, we're going to take a break for a second because it's time to save y'all some motherfucking money.
All right.
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Sting Saves Kids in Bahamas00:10:52
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Visit earnest.com/slash flagrant for more details, okay?
Do that right now.
Let's get back to the show.
You saved that guy's kids potentially.
You're getting pedophiles off the streets.
This guy wants to get paid for some mugs that got your name on it.
What an asshole this guy is.
A complete jerk off.
Do you have his name?
His address?
Okay.
Honestly, we owe this guy tax money.
It's a child protection tax.
I believe that 100%.
You got kids?
You're a hero.
$100 a year.
You shouldn't pay taxes anymore.
I don't think you should pay taxes.
If you're catching pedophiles, you shouldn't have to pay taxes.
That's it.
Well, I'll gladly catch the pedophiles and pay my fair share.
We pay your taxes from now on.
Contact free coffee?
And you can't even get your own memorabilia?
It's shocking.
What the fuck?
It is.
Honestly, if you came to me, you're like, can you make some shirts for me?
I would love to make some shirts for you.
Okay.
Not in youth sizes, but I'll make some shirts.
I'll make whatever the fuck you need.
Okay.
I appreciate that.
It was baffling to me.
And then I think that I think there might have been, if I'm going to get conspiratorial, I think there might have been an organized effort to try to get you out of there.
And you say there's a powerful man in media that's attacking pedophiles and making it really cool to get pedophiles the fuck out of you.
No tolerance for these pedophiles.
Meanwhile, you got an international pedophile ring bubbling up with your boy Jeffrey Epstein.
He might have felt like you were hot on his tail.
Well, you know, there's an interesting story there.
Let's talk about it.
In about 2015-16, I had a meeting down in Florida with a group of investigators and some lawyers who are all involved in the Epstein police strike.
So there was a lot of information there.
And Epstein had served his year in and out of the county jail and was back living his life.
And the information was compelling and it was disturbing.
And I tried to fashion a sting.
And the security around his New York residence and around his life in general was such that it was difficult to penetrate and to figure out a way to do it.
And I worked with some of the lawyers.
It was before a lot of the victims had actually come forward, victims who have now come forward.
And to be honest with you, it's one of my biggest journalistic regrets because we worked it, we worked it, it wasn't happening.
I got busy with other stuff.
In the meantime, here in Miami, much to the paper's credit, the Herald keeps pounding away and digging away at it, chipping away day by day, week by week.
And the Herald develops relationships with these victims.
And ultimately, the victims come forward and tell their story in the Herald.
And there's no question.
And the U.S. attorney in Manhattan at the time said this when they charge Epstein: that if it wasn't for the Miami Herald's fine work, that case may not have been prosecuted, at least not when it was.
So the lesson to me is that sometimes these things take years.
They're not the automatic sting operations that you want them to be, and you have to stick with it.
Can you tell us a little bit about the sting that you were setting up?
We were in the initial stages working with a number of people who were on the periphery of this investigation of seeing if we could put somebody in proximity who would be recruited and then go into the Epstein system wearing hidden cameras.
It never got that far.
But you think today, knowing what we know, having heard from these brave victims who came forward to make this prosecution, knowing what we know about the recruitment and the enablers, Jelaine Maxwell, et cetera.
Yeah.
What happened?
And so when I first got wind of the Peter Nygaard story, Peter Nygaard was the topic of the new series on Discovery Plus on Seemly.
He's the fashion mogul who now is accused of human trafficking and all kinds of sexual assaults going back some 50 years.
He had Nygaard fashion.
So every pair of jeans that you would see at a Dillard's and many other places, that was Nygaard.
Wish I knew.
Close to a billionaire, right?
He had a major estate in the Bahamas.
And it was right next to another estate owned by a hedge fund guy.
And they got into a beef over property.
And one thing led to another.
And the investigators from the hedge fund, Louis Bacon, got involved and started digging around in Nygaard's business and found out that he was, you know, taking in young girls under age, drugging them, raping them.
I mean, we're talking about potentially thousands of victims across the board.
This happened in LA.
It happened up in Canada.
It happened in the Bahamas.
And for two years, I worked it, worked it, worked at, and then partnered with, you know, Blackfin TV and Discovery Plus.
And we were able to put this together.
And not only was he involved in the sexual assaults, I mean, brutal, vicious, controlling sexual assaults, but he was into this stem cell research as an effort to prolong.
Find the fountain of youth.
And so he would go, according to witnesses and investigators, he went so far as to impregnate young girls, have them get abortions, harvest the stem cells for the fetuses to inject into himself to prolong his life.
Now, I'm alive still?
He's in jail up in Winnipeg.
But is he living longer?
I'm not sure if I can do it.
He's 79, and I'm told that, you know, because he's not been able to get bail, which is good, and he's awaiting extradition to the United States, indicted in Manhattan by the U.S. Attorney's Office there after a long investigation by the Human Trafficking Task Force in New York.
He's not able to get all his supplements and his injections and hormones withering away.
Love it.
But it is fascinating because you always hear this on these conspiracy chats, people talking about the elites drinking baby blood and like sacrificing babies and that kind of stuff.
But maybe that's referential to the stem cell.
Well, in this case, it was.
And, you know, we, in other words, we started to get more and more information.
His own, one of his own children came forward, Nygaard's son, Kai Zen Bickel, who is interviewed in the documentary.
You'll see it on Discovery Plus, and who has been on some of my shows on YouTube and some other things, who saw something that was inappropriate between his father and a child at a dinner party and started to think and he got involved.
And not only did he help investigators in this case, but he was actually interviewed for the documentary, which was a huge step.
Yeah.
And very brave.
It takes when we commissioned the story.
We didn't know that Kai was going to come forward.
We didn't know that another source of mine would say, hey, look, talk to this lawyer.
He represents the former videographer and creative director for Nygaard, who had hundreds of hours of videotapes on the private jet with the stripper pole and the pamper parties and then going over to Asia.
Pamper parties.
Pamper parties.
He used to have these huge parties in L.A. and in the Bahamas where he'd invite all kinds of women.
Okay.
And they would get, you know, their nails done and massages and makeup.
And some of these girls would get chosen, drugged, and taken away and raped.
In fact, one of the models interviewed in the documentary.
They were pamper like they were getting pampered.
Yeah, you thought they were putting diapers on.
I thought they were walking around pampers.
No, that's what I thought too.
Well, I could see what you think.
100%.
So, but one of the victims in this case is the famous supermodel Beverly Peel, who was signed a contract with Nygaard for three years.
And she is interviewed in the documentary and said, you know, it was the worst decision she ever made and ultimately was sexually assaulted by him and had a child by him.
Whoa.
Yeah.
So check it out.
It's called Unseemly.
And this is your show on Discovery Plus.
Unbelievable.
You're like, unseemly isn't really a strong enough adjective.
Yeah, we did a little bit.
Oh, it's a play on the.
I got you.
Oh, Steam.
Yeah, just get right to Predator.
You know, you hit it on the nose on the other ones.
I think we just hit it on the nose.
Absolute rapist.
That's another title.
You could spell absolute without the E like a liquor.
That's, you know, maybe he's Russian.
I don't know.
Yeah, dude.
That is absolutely crazy.
Yeah.
If you look at what he looks like, it is.
And so a year ago, literally last week.
He looks like Mel Blank on drugs or whatever is it?
Mel Brooks.
Mel Brooks.
Yeah, isn't Mel?
Laker games?
You know, he's always wearing a cowboy hat.
Jimmy Goldstein.
Yeah, look at this guy.
Nothing about him looks young.
Who's the chick to the left with the heavy?
Oh, is that the Beverly?
Oh, my bad, my bad.
Come on.
Yeah, my bad.
I didn't know.
So literally, it was like a year ago last week that we got back from the Bahamas interviewing all these victims in this case.
And it was just a gut-wrenching experience, notwithstanding the fact that it was a little edgy because he had paid off a lot of government officials in the Bahamas.
So we're smuggling these women in and out of this safe house where we're doing the interviews.
And we came back, I believe it was March 5th, and it was right before the lockdown happened.
I mean, literally, it was the last trip I made for several weeks, months, because of the pandemic.
And I remember coming back through Miami, and we had added a couple days to it and turned it into a little bit of a spring break because we were staying down in the Bahamas.
And it was just eerie coming back through Miami.
You could tell that people were starting to get uneasy about travel.
And we got back to Michigan and didn't move or didn't leave there for.
Did you know beforehand this is probably the last set of interviews we got to do?
So let's get everyone.
It was the, it was the last set of international.
I mean, we, you know, look, we just did things remotely, you know, and as things opened up, we started getting back to work on it.
But literally, because I was at, you know, our house in Michigan, we just had, you know, ordering television equipment from, you know, Amazon or wherever to do the YouTube show, to do this or that.
And, you know, then, you know, the kids got tired of having me at the dining room table because two shows a week.
So move him to the basement.
Now we have to get more stuff in the basement so we could light that up properly.
And just adapted.
You said that you were doing, you were setting up this sting for Epstein, and then you got busy with other things and it was hard to do.
Lawsuit Risks for Reporters00:08:55
Was there any pushback from the people at the networks?
Was there anybody protecting him at all?
No.
It really didn't get that far, but I don't think there would have been anybody to protect him.
Had.
Um, we had, we would have had support for it.
Yeah, because there in the past there has been.
Yeah, but I got to be honest with you.
You know, I have never in 40 years had anybody seriously tell me to back off a story.
So, and that's the gods on us, let me.
Let me just clarify, not for an advertiser, not for a friend, not for anything for litigious reasons, did it ever happen?
Because there is a difference between a network going, I want to protect a pedophile, and a network going, this alleged pedophile sues like crazy.
So we have to be very careful if we say anything about that.
Well, I think anytime you make very serious allegations against somebody, you know, you have to do your due diligence.
And it's a reality that you could end up being sued.
So you do what you do in any case.
I mean, a poor guy can sue you just as easily as a rich guy.
And a lawyer would represent a poor guy if he thought he had a good case, just as he would a rich guy.
Yeah, it's not lost on network executives that if you go sticking the machete in the face of a lion, you're apt to get it.
We fully expected to get sued by Nygaard.
He's very litigious.
He sued the CBC.
We weren't the only ones working on the story.
New York Times worked on the story, did a great job.
The CBC up in Canada did a great job on the story.
CBC worked on the story a long time and was held at bay because of restrictions on the press in Canada and his litigious behavior.
You know what blows my mind about these guys is the arrogance that it happened over a property dispute.
Like you're a super predator and you're like, nah, I'm so untouchable that this property dispute, let's get litigious.
Who gives a fuck?
Like you feel that he was so aggressive that he went after Lewis Bacon and he had this creative director, videographer, create just horrible misinformation campaigns claiming that he was with the KKK and he was a racist and all this horrible stuff.
I mean, just really.
And when you looked at it, they would take something from like the CBS Evening News and edit something into it.
But if they put it on Bohemian television, it'll look legit.
It may not get questioned.
And that's what these guys were, that's what Nygar's people were doing.
And we have the video of them watching this stuff and the actual finished product.
It's interesting.
When we were doing the Netflix special, we just did this special for Netflix.
And we were calling everybody and their mother a pedophile.
We were doing jokes.
We weren't doing journalism.
We're just making fun of what was happening.
And obviously with everything with Epstein and Maxwell and all these other people, we were talking about it because you were referencing what happened through this last year.
And when we had to get it through legal, there was pushback where it's like, you can't just say that about a human being, which rightfully so.
Right.
You shouldn't be able to just go, hey, you're a pedophile.
Woody Owen.
Yeah.
Have you seen that?
No, I haven't.
But I know.
Like, I don't need to see it.
I'm not going to see it and go, he is a pedophile for marrying his daughter.
Now that I think about it, right?
I did want to ask that.
Did you ever look into Woody Owen?
I never did.
And it is a great question.
I've only seen one episode of the series.
I want to look at the whole thing.
Oh, man.
And I was just in the early 90s.
I started NBC in 93.
And looking back, a lot of it happened in 91, 92.
And I was still a local reporter in Detroit.
So it wasn't, I mean, it was on my radar, sort of, but it wasn't like it would have been had I gotten there a couple of years earlier.
I probably would have been right in the thick of it all.
Are you good at parsing out when you watch a documentary like how biased it is?
Because some documentaries, I haven't seen this one, but some are really like just trying to get a point across and some are not.
And if you look at the making of a murder, you know, it's all kinds of controversy and the point of view and, you know, were they held to the same standards as traditional journalists?
And I do look at it with a very critical eye from that standpoint because my stuff is held to extraordinarily high ethical standards.
I mean, our lawyers have lawyers.
We do something like Nygaard or the other series that's on Discovery Plus right now on this YouTuber, Onision.
Yeah, we were looking at that.
What is the issue?
Well, he became famous on YouTube after he did this video called I'm a Banana.
And it was on Tosh.0 on that show in 2007-ish.
And it took off on YouTube.
And then he started to do a show and he tapped into this young female market.
And you're okay, even if you're down and blue, you know, be positive.
And then it transitioned into you're fat, you're horrible, and a lot of body shaming, and then a lot of predatory stuff.
And he would actually invite some of these fans out to live with he and ultimately his spouse in Washington State and all kinds of allegations of sexuality.
Always fucking Washington State, dude.
In this case, it's always, no, with these cults.
His people did a whole cult out there, too.
Did you not watch that show?
No, that was just one Indian and a bunch of vegans.
That's all that was.
But it's always Washington State.
Wildwild Country.
Wild, wild country.
That's the same as Washington State.
Once you go to the upper left, Ted Bundy was from up there, right?
Bundy's from up there.
Something's going on.
The Unabomber.
I covered the Unabomber as far back as 1985 in Detroit because he sent a package to Professor James McConnell at University of Michigan.
We got into that at that point.
It followed it all the way up to his ultimate arrest in Montana.
I have some questions for you.
Sure.
We're going to put you on the hot seat.
Very good.
Are you ready, Chris?
I live in the hot seat.
Okay.
So you say.
I'm nervous.
Okay, here we go.
The speed limit is reduced in school zones.
Should pedophiles be forced to drive faster?
No, they should just be stopped on site and arrested immediately.
Yeah.
That's a great answer.
That's a good answer.
He got you.
That's one point, Chris.
Shit.
Zero Andrew.
Son of a bitch.
Okay.
I have a feeling it's not over yet, though.
You have eight Emmys.
Ten, actually.
Oh, God.
Point two.
Ireland.
Zero Ireland.
I was saving that.
I didn't want to interrupt you, Neil.
You have 10 Emmys.
Okay.
But Emmy is a young girl's name.
Do you feel conflicted that you have that story?
Oh, no.
You feel like you need eight more?
Oh, I think we might get a couple more with these Discovery Plus fans.
Yeah, here we go.
Okay.
Okay.
Did you ever think about doing an episode in a church in Boston?
Come on.
You know.
I was wondering how you're welcome in the Catholic Church.
I mean, just walk in.
Who wants it?
Right?
Like, that's the easiest episode in the world.
Well, you know, you watch Spotlight, you know, the movie, and you see what these guys went through to report that story.
And it's really, it's really a compelling narrative.
Yeah.
And they went through hell to report it.
Yeah.
And that shows the power and the economic power of the Catholic Church.
No, but like if they see you, do you think they're trying to like poison the wafer they give you?
Do they start sweating, bro?
No, I, you know, I've spoken to the conference of bishops and, you know, there's no real relationship with the Catholic Church, but, you know, I think I'm on their radar, not for bad reasons, but I, you know, just for.
Okay, you're not out yet.
What is the biggest giveaway that someone's a pedophile and why is it wearing Crocs?
Because they're easy to get in and out of.
Oh, that's point four.
He's handing up.
And they're handing it.
And they're quiet when you come creeping.
Oh, yo, that's a good point.
And they got the backstrap, you know, so you can run.
If you need to, you lock in and go for it.
Okay, fine.
Final question.
Are you ready?
Ready.
When are you going to investigate the judges on Toddlers and TRs?
Bombshell.
It's a great question.
That's a hard one.
I'll probably take a look at that.
You should.
Yeah, you should.
Okay.
They are judging the hotness of little kids.
No, that makes me so uncomfortable.
And I don't know anything about the show, so I shouldn't say anything.
It's just the whole notion of it.
And it brings me back to covering the Jean Benet thing so many years ago.
And just.
Is that necessary?
It's not necessary.
Raycon Earbuds Giveaway Promo00:03:13
Not at all.
I mean, it's super weird.
Not at all.
Yeah.
I think we should get rid of it.
Yeah.
And I find another man to do it.
I'll report back.
Boom.
That's five for five.
He got all of them.
All right.
So before you leave, I just want you to tell everybody the projects you're working on, where they can see.
I know that you're doing a podcast.
I know you have the YouTube shows.
You're really getting into independent media, which is what we have been thriving on right now.
Congratulations to you guys, too.
Thank you.
You're killing it.
Thank you so much.
That's great.
And the standing up stuff.
Thank you.
Thank you.
But tell us, man.
So where can we go?
So we've got on Discovery Plus.
We've got the two series, Onision in Real Life, which is extraordinarily compelling and takes people into a world and holds YouTube accountable in a way that no other project ever has.
And then unseemly, the Peter Nygaard investigation, which is, we're talking about one of the most prolific predators I've ever come across.
YouTube is have a seat with Chris Hansen.
We do a lot of original content there and some of the predator stories that we've done, the investigations.
We're in talks right now for a new predator series with a couple different networks and the podcast, Predators I've Caught, which is really compelling and really interesting.
And we just made new and noteworthy on True Crime on Apple.
Oh, yeah.
Bravo.
Proliferate is a big deal.
Well, you're the GOAT, man.
We appreciate your work.
Thank you for having me.
You are.
It's been amazing.
Thank you very much for coming down.
And I pray that none of us are on any of your projects in the future.
But thank you one more time.
Chris Hansen.
And also, you want to just give him your YouTube page and your social media.
YouTube is have a seat with Chris Hansen, social Twitter at Chris Hansen, the official Chris Hansen on Instagram.
Thank you, man.
Keep up the great work.
H-A-N-S-E-N, right?
Correct.
H-A-N-S-E-N.
Perfect.
Thank you.
All right.
We'll be back in a second.
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Now, let's get back.
All right, and we're back.
That was dope, man.
Izzy Weight Class Fight Talk00:14:52
Chris Hansen is dope.
He got a soothing voice.
You could tell that he did radio.
Yeah.
He speaks like a guy who's done radio.
Yeah.
Smooth.
Smooth operator.
Very poised.
And how crazy is that that he had the Epstein thing going?
Doug, the Epstein thing, this Nystrom or whatever the fuck, Nygaard might be even crazier.
Yeah.
He's crazier, but it's not as culturally relevant.
Yeah, because it's not like highly connected and everybody's involved.
I'm sure a motherfucker of his status is going to be highly connected, but I didn't even know who he was until he mentioned him.
He's like Finnish Canadian.
That's why it wasn't as big here, but he's huge there.
Like people talk about that clothing.
I don't know.
It could be a thing.
You don't know what private jets he had and who had been on him and all that.
It could become a thing.
Yeah.
It's just wild.
I mean, imagine Chris Hansen is the one to expose Jeffrey Epstein.
Oh, it'd be nuts, dude.
Dude, I'm telling you, it'd be a pay-per-view event, bro.
It'd be perfect.
Unreal.
Facts.
Make Epstein have a seat.
Come on, dude.
All right, man.
Let's talk about it, man.
We got some topics that we got to hit on.
We haven't talked about Izzy's fight, style bender, took an L, trying to get his second belt.
He came up to 205 to fight the champ Jan Blahovich.
Yeah.
Forgive me, Jan, if I'm not pronouncing your fucking name right, but name stupid.
He was nice, though.
He is.
And Izzy even said it afterwards.
He was like, he's, if I have to lose with somebody, he's a great champ.
He's gracious.
He's sweet.
Like, it's so weird.
There are some people that need to get themselves so hyped for those fights that the person in front of them, they have to literally want to kill.
Yeah.
Right.
But Jan seems like this guy, like, he doesn't seem like he'd fight dirty.
No.
Seems like he's going to fight by the rules.
He understands it's the fight game.
He's going to try to knock you out.
Yeah.
But he doesn't seem like the guy who would like hold you in a choke longer than he needs to or punch you one extra time after you're down just because.
And there are motherfuckers in MMA that like they will choke you out.
You're tapping and they hold that shit until the ref stops.
Right.
There are people who see somebody unconscious on the floor and then jump on top.
Yeah.
So he seems like this sweet, kind of nice guy.
And he fought a fucking brilliant fight against Izzy.
He really did.
Like he was ready for the leg kicks.
Yeah.
You know, Izzy was trying to catch him with that question mark.
Over and over again, he was able to block it.
And he beat Izzy fair and square.
Yeah.
And it's a bummer, obviously, because that's our guy.
Yeah.
You know, I spoke to him.
He said he's doing good.
It is what it is.
And like, he said, you know, like he was saying, dare to be great.
And yeah, you should be great.
Like, right.
The guy is coming up 20 pounds.
Yeah.
Right.
To go fight the guy who is the champ, who's been knocking people the fuck out.
And as far as I saw, I didn't see Izzy hurt one time during the fight.
No, the guy used his weight well, stayed on top of him.
Yeah.
And that was it.
But he landed punches on Izzy.
Oh, yeah.
But I didn't see Izzy get stumbled.
Like he was able to handle the power.
And Jan was just concussing people.
Yeah.
Like one punch, knockout.
Okay.
The last few fighters.
I don't know if you saw the last couple of his fights.
I think I seen one.
But he was just using.
He's concussing 220-pound guys.
Yeah.
Big boys.
Big boys.
And he's getting into that ring at like 240.
And Izzy staying 200, probably seems to be.
Yeah, I don't know about 240.
That'd be a lot of weight to put on.
I don't know.
I'm throwing on numbers.
205 is where they fight at.
So usually you could probably maybe add like another 15 pounds or something.
I'm an idiot.
I thought the fight was at 220 and then 205.
185 is what Izzy usually fights at 205 is where he fights.
So, so yeah, so this is there's a couple things that are going on here.
Obviously, I'm fucking biased.
I want Izzy to win.
But he did get outpointed.
He got.
I thought that Jan striking was phenomenal.
Izzy's one of the best strikers in the history of MMA, right?
And Jan was able to strike with him effectively.
Izzy landed his shots.
Izzy rocked him a couple times.
I thought one time he had him hurt.
But Jan was able to be in there and Jan landed a couple shots.
I thought Izzy was going to absolutely dominate him with the striking, but Jan was going to be big to the point where if he landed, it could hurt Izzy.
And it wasn't the case.
Jan was effective with the striking.
So what I think happened was in a weird way.
And I know you're going to go, oh, you just capped him for your boy, blah, blah, blah.
I don't care.
I think this is the best case scenario for Izzy fighting at 185 pounds.
I think this is best case scenario for a couple things.
One, where he's dominant at is 185 pounds.
And there's a couple of reasons why he's dominant.
One, he just happens to be the best of the world at 185 pounds.
But he can use some of his advantages at 185 pounds that he doesn't exactly have at 205 with those bigger guys.
Right.
At 185, he's significantly taller and longer than these guys.
So what Izzy can do is he can hop in punching and kicking range and hop out of punching and kicking range whenever he wants while also being out of the range of the person he's fighting.
So if you've noticed a few of his last like knockouts, like I've noticed they come from these lean back hooks.
Have you seen it?
Like he can drop Costa with that lean back hook.
He dropped, what's the other Australian guy that he fought?
Robert Whitaker with that lean back hook.
Like he just kind of exchanges, he throws this combination and he leans away from their strike while throwing this kind of like up left hook.
It's a really odd punch, right?
But super effective.
It's harder to do that against a taller, longer opponent because you have to commit yourself to being in a danger zone more than you do against a smaller opponent, right?
So he's got to take more fights at that weight where you're fighting guys that height so he could learn how to be effective in his striking without putting himself in too dangerous or too precarious a situation.
Okay.
Right.
But what I love about this is the last fight he had at 185 when he took out Costa, that mum, he destroyed him to a point where at least I was going, there's nobody interesting for him to fight at 185.
Right.
Like he's too dominant.
Right.
It's the Khabib thing.
Yeah.
Like we don't need to see Khabib fight Dustin Poirier again.
God bless Dustin Poirier, but Khabib dominated him.
So it's not interesting to see him fight him again.
He was too dominant.
And all of a sudden, you start to lose interest in the fights when people are too dominant.
Him losing to Jan puts a battery in everybody at 185's back.
They're all going, oh shit, all you got to do is take him down.
Oh, if you get him down, then you can control him.
Yeah.
I want you to try that.
I want you to try to get into grappling range with Izzy because he's going to piece you up and he's going to sit you the fuck down.
Right.
So I think this is good because it really heightens the interest at 185 again, where there was none at all.
And that's the division where you want to just see him dominate.
If he knocks out, I think he's going to fight Darren Till next.
Okay.
If Darren Till beats this Marvin Vittori guy.
And him against Darren Till is going to be the most fun that we've ever had in a fight buildup on social media.
They're both exceptional at social media.
This guy, Darren Till, is very funny on social.
Very funny.
He's funny in interviews.
And the two of them going at it together in the hype of the buildup to the fight.
Also, they both finally fucking speak English.
I've been telling Izzy this for his entire career.
Stop fighting these guys who don't speak English.
You got to do all the promoting of the fucking fight.
You're going to fight against a guy who speaks English.
He can promote it to all the fans that also understand English in a really funny, effective way.
That fight, he's got to get by this Marvin Vittori guy, but that is a super fight.
I would be so excited to see that fight.
And ideally, there's fans back in there, etc.
I think this is very good for Izzy at 185.
Yeah.
Here's the problem.
If John Jones goes and wins the heavyweight belt by beating the winner of Nganu versus Stipe, John Jones has something over Izzy.
Which is Jones went up in weight, won a belt.
Izzy went up in weight and he lost the 205 chance.
That's not to say that Izzy can't go up and do it again.
But if John is effective, then he has something over Izzy as the current GOAT in the sport.
Right.
Right.
So that's up to you.
Let's see what happens.
I mean, John Jones could get caught by one of those big boys and then completely knocked out.
And then Izzy got something over John.
He's like, you went up in weight.
You got your ass knocked the fuck out.
That being said, John Jones is a very good wrestler.
And if Izzy struggled with Jan wrestling, Jan isn't a wrestler, but he's black belt and jujitsu.
He's a good ground game.
But he would struggle with John.
Right.
So it is, it is just an interesting thing.
Now, John doesn't have the power that Jan has.
So Izzy's going to go trade with John.
Okay.
If they keep it on the feet, Izzy, after feeling Jan's power and not getting dropped, he's like, oh, I'm ready.
I'm ready for these 205s.
Like, I wonder if Izzy right now, I really want to talk to him on a pod.
Izzy, come on a pod already, man.
I wonder after engaging with Jan and not getting hurt, if he's like, I should have just stood in there at that motherfucker.
Because when he exchanged with him, there was one moment where he caught Jan with a left hook and Jan hid the fact that he was hurt well.
But in the replay, you see him get staggered and kind of walking around.
I think if Izzy knew how badly he was hurt, he would have put on a sauce.
Yeah.
He just didn't want to get exposed.
He didn't want to get, you mean he didn't want to get caught.
Yeah, like he can counter so well, but if he, you know.
If he gets caught, because the guy has concussive power.
And I think by the end of the fight, Izzy starts to realize he's caught me clean a few times.
I can eat some of these.
And I ate him.
So I mean, I would even like to see them go at it again, maybe later on.
And maybe it's a different fight.
But also, you could argue that Jan would be like, I'm not even striking with this guy.
I'm going to take him down.
And if he doesn't improve his takedown defense or doesn't improve his ability to get back up when he's been taken down, I'm just going to hold him down there.
Which is what Jan did.
Jan didn't do damage when he had him on the ground.
He just held him.
He held him.
And that's on Izzy.
Izzy got to be able to get up from that.
Yeah.
And ideally, he learns, et cetera, and kind of improves that part of the game.
But yeah, go.
You can correct me if I'm wrong.
So can Izzy?
I thought I'm watching the fight worried for Izzy.
I thought he got caught a couple times in the third round, maybe.
And then he got a little bit shook from it.
Not shook, but like he got a little more affected than not feeling it at all.
And I thought that's where he started to lose the fight.
And that's why I don't remember at the time, like, I feel like that's where he got a little more loose with how he was playing.
And then he was able to get taken down.
Does that make any sense?
I'm watching complete amateur.
He looked tired.
He was saying he was tired, but I would say towards the end.
Like towards the end, I think he was doing this kind of like flow thing.
Yeah.
Right.
But I think that was masking him just being tired.
And you know what?
I'd be tired too if I was carrying another 20 pounds with me.
Yeah.
He usually fights at 185 and he fights around his weight.
So he weighs in at 185.
I don't think he gains more than five pounds for a fight afterwards.
So imagine you're carrying an extra 15 pounds around for a five-round fight.
That's different.
Right.
Like had the round of trying to get up from him.
You're being held down 200 pounds on you.
After the fourth round takedown, it was unique.
I would say even the first takedown is what?
That was in the fourth round, I think, right?
Fourth and fifth.
The first takedown?
He got up from one.
I thought it was early in the first place.
But I think that was a big part of the reason what gassed him.
Yeah.
Because he usually is good to go for five rounds.
Oh, he's got, yeah, he got energy forever.
So it was interesting to see.
But it is a different level of energy.
Like when you're carrying around more weight, every clinch is different.
That's a good point.
And you're also thinking differently.
It was, I don't know.
I know it seems like I'm capping for Izzy, but I really feel like for interest in 185-pound fights, this is the best thing.
Right.
In order to promote fights, you need to think the other guy has a chance.
Yeah.
Like, remember when Mayweather fights started to get boring?
He was fighting Carlos Boldemir.
Like, I actually went to that fight in Vegas, but like, he's fighting these guys.
You're like, there's no way that Mayweather can lose to this guy.
Yeah.
So what's the point of me watching?
And then Mayweather had to turn heel so hard.
Right.
He had to become the villain so bad that you just bought it hoping he would lose.
Right.
You know what I mean?
Right.
But I don't know if Izzy wants to do that.
Like, I don't know if he wants to be like a villain like that.
Nah.
Like, it's not his brand.
Yeah.
It's like, he's like, he's weird.
He's like a, he's kind of like, he's like the Joker.
Like, he's not a villain, but he's not a good guy.
No.
Like, he'll knock you out and hump you.
Yeah.
You know what I mean?
Captain America ain't doing that.
So he's got to be.
He's mischievous.
Yeah.
He is mischievous.
He's low-key.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Right?
Like, you know what I'm saying?
He's not Thor, but he's not, he's Loki.
He's not a bad guy completely, but he's not a good guy completely.
Yeah, yeah.
And it's relatable.
Because if someone's talking shit to you and you knocked them out, you want to hump them too.
Yeah.
You don't got to do that good guy shit, handshake, nonsense.
Get a stroke going.
That's what it is.
Yo, Izzy's got to know what you sacrificed to watch his fights, bro.
Yo, that's true, man.
We had winners when we were in Salt Lake and I was about to go on.
Like on stage.
So I just had Mark go longer.
This man's mad stressed in the green room pacing around.
Like, come on, Izzy.
How much time did you do?
45?
No.
No, I didn't like it.
This is the thing that, yeah, I don't think Izzy understands this, but like, I get so nervous.
I was super nervous.
Describe it.
Bro, there's a crowd of people sitting in Salt Lake City, so excited to see their favorite comedian that's packed out.
All these people in there.
The guy comes in.
He's like, you ready to start?
You're like, we can wait three, four minutes, you know?
And he's just sitting in there anxious as fuck, sitting on the ground.
Everyone's sitting on the couch.
He's just sitting on the ground in front of the company.
Son, I'm so nervous.
I'm shaking.
I actually shake.
This is with fights where I'm invested in a fighter.
I shake and I'm so nervous.
And I literally am thinking, I just can't wait for this fight to be over so I can calm down and go on stage in front of people and talk.
Bro, people are changing his name.
Hey, Drew.
Andrew's in a fetal position in the green room, terrified for Izzy.
Isn't that crazy?
I'm way more terrified of a fight that I have zero control over.
That's why you're terrified.
Yeah, I guess.
Because you have no control over it.
But still, like, most people, their greatest fear is speaking in front of strangers.
Yeah, we're in a theater full of people in Boston.
You're like hanging out, taking pictures with people, having a good time.
You watch Izzy fight and you're fucking.
And it takes a second.
Like when I go on stage, I got to like loosen up a little bit because I'm so tensed just from watching.
They got to put these fights in an afternoon.
You know what I mean?
It can't be this late night thing where you're competing with your own show.
I don't.
I don't know.
The only thing I'm bummed about is we're probably never going to get the John Jones fight.
I think we will still.
I think it will be later on.
Fear Before the Knockout00:02:05
I think if John loses to one of those heavyweights, it's guaranteed.
Like it's guaranteed they both get humbled.
They could both talk shit.
John goes into the fight going, I'm just going to take this guy down.
Izzy goes in the fight going, I could take any punch from that motherfucker.
Laying clean as often as you want.
I took clean shots from one of the hardest hitters at 205, ate it.
So I'm stepping in there.
I'm exchanging with you.
It's on.
So I think we get it.
I guess we got to hope that Steve Bay or Francis knocks out John.
Also, if one of them knocks out John, like if Francis Nganu goes in there with John Jones, that's not a decision.
Like John might be able to beat him by decision, but if Francis wins that fight, it's night night.
And if he gets knocked out violently, oh, is he going to have a field day on Instagram?
I cannot wait.
Talk about John.
Like, he got no real holes, though.
Yeah, he's, he's, he's, I mean, look, I'm not an MMA expert or anything like that, but he's really good, man.
Yeah.
He's really fucking good.
Yeah, I don't know, but when I hear people talk about him, they're like, he just, there's nothing he doesn't do.
Yeah.
He boxes well.
He wrestles well.
Maybe he doesn't punch hard.
That's the only, that's the only knock.
And you heard that from DC.
And DC got knocked out by John Jones.
Okay.
Right.
By a kick.
Right.
But he's basically saying, like, he doesn't carry his punching power.
Like, his punching power is not as hard as other guys of that weight.
Right.
But he's incredibly good at striking.
He's incredibly effective at it.
But his single punch power isn't going to sit you down.
Right.
And I think he pieced up, I think it was Anthony Smith for like five rounds.
Yeah.
You know what I mean?
There's certain guys that he just for rounds was touching, but not doing anything concussive.
Right.
And that's actually good news for our boy.
Yeah.
Because if you want to sit in there and exchange, you're going to get caught.
Yeah.
If you hit harder, then it's going to be a good night.
Or if you can just strike more and land more, you can get the decision.
Bill Burr Punching Power Analysis00:08:34
Boom.
Exactly.
So, so yeah, we'll see what happens.
It's an interesting time.
I don't know what else.
What else we got going on this week?
I feel like we had so many things happen.
A lot of stuff.
So there were Grammys yesterday.
I didn't realize until about after.
It's so funny how little we care.
With nothing else to do, we don't even remember Grammys.
Oscar's is probably not going to give a fuck about it.
The only reason I knew the Grammys were happening is because they were trying to cancel Bill.
Only reason that, yeah.
Only reason.
Old Billy Bitch Tits came through.
What's that?
That's his nickname.
That's what he calls himself on stage.
Does he really?
Yeah.
Thank God, dude.
I was like, yo, Mark White, you never heard that?
You never heard that bit?
Old Billy bitch tits, old Billy Redface?
No, we going at Chappelle.
We going at the bitch tits.
Like, what are you trying to do over there?
That's what he said.
But yeah, so I guess he was saying some stuff.
Akash showed us a couple videos, and it's so funny because he's just being him.
He couldn't care less, dude.
He couldn't care less.
And there is no audience.
I guess it's all done.
Was it through streaming or something like that?
Yeah, I guess so.
But he's at some space, some theater, whatever.
And it sounds like he's bombing because there's no audience.
But you can hear the workers laughing.
It's like an old episode of Talk Soup or something like that.
So he's clearly not bombing.
And if you're watching at home, you're laughing.
But everybody on Twitter that's just like this woke social justice warrior that doesn't even know who the fuck Bill Burr is is going, yeah, see, look what happens when comedians try to tell jokes about sensitive topics.
You know, it doesn't work out.
You're bombing.
It's like, no, the guy was fucking murdering.
We're all dying laughing.
It's also great because having, we took a car ride with Bill Burr after the Patrice benefit.
Yeah, yeah.
And he just is so in touch with his funny.
One of the most awkward car rides I've ever taken.
One of the most awkward car rides I've ever ever had.
Wait, what?
Well, I mean, you look up to the guy so much.
You know what I mean?
So it's like, I don't know.
I was just, I admire this guy.
I think he's so fucking funny.
But at the same time, I'm trying to have a conversation with him.
But he's also so good at just doing the talking.
It felt like I was on his podcast, which he does by himself.
So that's what it felt like.
So, and he was just, I mean, he was just one topic after another topic.
Bang, bang.
But I didn't know if I was like, should we do this together or I just throw up softballs?
I mean, you could say anything.
You could be, you know, what do you think about Tampon commercials?
Yes, yeah, we get it.
It soaks it up with what anybody wants.
I mean, how often you need to be told it soaks it up.
I think it soaks it up.
I remember I was in the green room and like he went on and on for like probably 20 minutes straight about helicopters.
And this was right after Kobe Pats.
Oh, yeah.
No one got a word in and he was just every factor.
Yeah, helicopters and then putting jokes in between.
Oh, dude, it was so fun.
He had the whole thing broken down because I know that he loves helicopters.
So when he was in the green room for the Patrice thing, I was just like, maybe he's got some interesting perspective on it and stuff like that.
And dude, he was.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It's fucking cloudy.
Just don't take it up.
I love it.
You see the clouds?
You don't go.
I love the guy who is himself all the time.
On stage, it's just like, I'm just doing the same shit I always do.
So I was just in that car ride, just like, oh, this is the best, just watching this happen.
And that's what I thought the Grammy shit was.
He's just, he's being him.
He's making himself laugh.
Yeah.
He opens.
I haven't been able to find the piano solo that happened before he went on stage, but he opens by going, and am I the only one that wanted to kill himself during that piano solo?
Fucking while.
Now, I don't know who did the piano solo, but that was the highlight of their life.
Right?
Like, they were like, I'm fine, mom, dad, I'm finally performing at the Trampies.
Please watch.
And the second you finish, Bill Burr is up there going, Hey, that was a suicidal piece of music right there, wasn't it?
Oh, my God, dude.
Then he fucks up the winner's name.
He's presenting Tropical Latin album of the year.
So funny.
Not even a fucking kind of Latin album.
Haven't been in Miami.
It's all tropical Latin.
The guy doesn't look tropical at all.
No, he looks like the Hawaiian Punch guy a little bit.
Hawaiian Punch guy.
Yeah, he's a little red.
You know, that's as close as he is to tropical.
Oh, my God.
So, yeah.
So, yeah, it's just so funny when Twitter thinks they can cancel somebody.
You can't cancel somebody whose fans love what they do.
Yeah.
Do you know what I mean?
Like, Trump should have taught everybody that.
Like, if what he does in like, what's it called?
If what he does, like, hypes up his fan base, if they love that thing, you can't cancel him for it.
Yeah.
And that's what Bill was doing.
He was doing him.
Yeah.
So his fans love that he trashed the Emmys while he was hosting them.
So you can't in any way cancel the guy for something that their fans love.
The greatest.
So good.
Yeah.
It is, Steve.
It's funny seeing everyone call him racist.
Like, oh, this guy is so racist.
Oh, he's racist.
That's what I'm saying.
On Twitter, everyone's like, oh, he's racist, that he got her name wrong, that he fucked up all this shit.
He fucked up her name.
Apologized.
He's like, I'm accepting this award on your behalf.
Yeah, I'm sorry.
I butchered your name.
That's it.
Why is that racist?
I don't know.
Is it racist to get someone's name wrong?
Can you get anything wrong anymore?
I don't know.
Can't we just be wrong?
And her name is hard, too.
What's her name?
This shit is Mark.
I don't know how to say it.
I'm racist.
You try to pronounce it.
I will.
Put it up.
Yeah, pull it up.
Let's see if he got it.
N-I-G-G.
What's her name?
Nobody knows, and it doesn't matter.
Bro, I texted to you.
You're not going to be able to pull.
Best Tropical Latin Performer.
Album, I think.
Best Tropical Latin album.
Who cares?
Anyway, you're not canceling Bill Burr.
He couldn't give a fuck.
I'm so surprised that he was even at the Emmys.
Yeah, that was the saddest part.
It's like, why are you here?
You're better than this.
But what he said was interesting.
He's like, the only reason I came is because I thought I was going to meet all these rock stars.
But you must have known nobody's going to be there.
I could see Bill Burr not knowing.
Also, yeah, maybe he did.
Yeah.
These aging rock stars, they're like 80 years old.
They've done every single drug.
Corona will take them out in a fucking split second.
And he still thinks that they're going to show up to the Emmys.
Wasn't he the one who wanted to meet some fucking random ass.
Yeah, Richard Dawkins or something.
I was like, isn't that like a scientist?
Yeah.
Natalia La Forcada.
La Forcade?
That's what I would have guessed.
That's a stupid name, dude.
That's stupid, bro.
That's dumb, dude.
Don't do that.
Don't do it.
Natalia La Forcade?
La Forkade.
Probably that one.
Yeah, the other one.
La Forcade.
Think Bill Burr is going to be able to come out?
Hold on.
If there's not an MC at the beginning, his name also needs for him to know.
This is another thing.
You don't get practice.
Oh, yeah, it's true because you don't know.
You don't know who's going to win.
If you knew who's going to win, you could practice it, but you don't know.
You can practice all five, but ain't nobody want to learn that many Spanish names.
It's a lot to remember.
That's too many.
In the moment, you can fuck one up.
Come on, bro.
Natalia La Forcade.
Nah.
You killed it.
Yeah.
You got murder.
That shit.
You're not murdered, bro.
You're not racist.
Yeah, what else?
I think this is comedians just doing this on purpose for some clout.
Ooh.
Before you had Tracy Morgan.
What are you doing?
Soul.
Oh, yeah.
That's so funny.
Sal.
What do you say?
No, he said Sal.
Yeah.
What's up, Tracy Morgan?
The winner is Sal.
I mean, Sol, fuck.
That's literally.
He didn't say fuck.
That's literally how he said it.
And like, they start clapping his.
I mean, soul.
Like, as they're fading out, the music started thinking.
This is for a moment.
He's hating, bro.
He's hating because he wasn't in it.
Oh, that could be some hate.
Try to give him a Spanish name.
That's what it was.
They had a Latin album.
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Let's get back to this.
Oh, also, guys, we got some tour dates coming, man.
I'm so excited to say that you made me feel like a fucking backstreet boy.
Okay.
The tour, our first tour back in business, was completely sold out.
It's unbelievable, man.
Before the first weekend when we went out.
So thank you guys so much for spreading the word.
Thank you guys for always supporting.
And you know what?
We are going to add some more dates to that tour.
So, oh, another cool thing is some of those dates that were sold out, as the states start to peel back some of the COVID restrictions, more seats might pop open.
So keep your eyes peeled.
You know, we'll obviously make mentions on Instagram.
We'll talk about on the podcast, but maybe even the comedy clubs, you can add yourself to their email list and they're going to shoot you an email the second some tickets open up.
I think we had that happen in forget which city.
Oh, West Palm.
West Palm immediately opened up another 40 seats per show.
So that was 160 tickets from available.
I think those are sold out now.
But point is go get them, get on them, and we're going to talk more.
And also DM me, message us, comment on any of the photo cities that you want us to come to because we are starting to get this thing back to moving.
And yeah, we're going to add some more tickets.
So theandrewschools.com for all those new dates that we're going to put up soon.
Akash, what you got?
I am going to be in St. Louis this week, the 18th through the 20th at Helium Comedy Club.
I'm doing the Heliums right now.
I'm on a Helium tour.
18 through the 20th in St. Louis, April 2nd and 3rd in Buffalo, New York.
Football season is over.
You ain't got shit else to do.
And April 15th through 17th, I'm going to be in Portland.
So if you're tired of liberal ass Portland, come.
I'll be your safe space from these safe space motherfuckers.
That's what I'm saying.
Akash thing.com for tickets.
Yo, Portland got some of the best audiences in the country, but that is by far the worst city in the whole country.
Undeniably.
You just got to buy something expensive because there's no state tax, and that's your trip.
That justifies it?
That's it.
That's all you can do outside of it.
You got to go to Nike store.
You go to the Nike employee store.
Oh, shit.
The DS one fucks up.
Somebody holler.
I'll take care of you.
You go to that Nike employee store and you just spend a rack full of money, but you got to bring a bag with you.
You bring an extra bag because if you send your stuff to any state, you have to pay the state tax that you send it to.
Son of a bitch.
Got you.
Appreciate you.
All right, let's get back to this shit.
What else we got going on, man?
You get your stimmis are out.
Yeah.
Y'all got a stemmy?
Nah.
I don't know if I can get it.
I don't know how that shit works because I didn't get.
Because it goes to your bank account.
I didn't do taxes for 2018 or something.
Do taxes last.
Oh, so you can't get any of this money?
I don't fucking know.
You got to hook it.
You can't get it.
You make too much.
You might be able to get it.
Maybe not.
I think you make too much.
We got to put Dove on it, bro.
I think you make too much.
We're too rich over here.
That's what Al's.
I'm going to do it over here, bro.
Dove.
Dove found a way.
Dove definitely found a way to get that stemmy.
Did you get that STEMI?
You know it.
God owns Dove.
I'm charging you for the pool house this month.
Go in directly to me.
That's why Al's got the outfit, bro.
He's trying to look like he deserves it.
Yeah.
Trying to look like a contractor or something.
I'm doing labor.
I'm trying to fucking fucking.
I don't know what this outfit is, Al.
I love it.
But can you, what is the deal with the upside-down goggles?
Like, what's the whole thing?
The 90s rep thing.
When you're not home, you can dress in costume every single day.
Oh, so this is a costume.
We're acknowledging it's because Miami.
I would never dress like this.
Son, the hoodie to the shoes, they all match.
Like, everything's fine until you go to the goggles.
Yeah.
But the goggles.
It's only because I ride a scooter.
And so I just bought these and I was like, oh, shit, I got a little yellow in it.
Let's just rock it.
Okay, so you built a whole outfit out of that.
It's the more money, more problems.
Look.
And him emaciated this.
Yeah.
Talking about outfits, do you have another shirt?
Nope.
Nope.
I am out of shirts.
Oh, my God, bro.
Bro, I'm out.
This guy got two shirts, bro.
Yo, they said they're coming for you on jeans, too.
They're like, yo, I got two pairs of jeans.
I got a black and a blue and one shirt.
And the comments are wearing thin on the shoes, too.
At first, everyone's like, yo, the shoes are fire.
That's all I got.
I underpacked, yo.
Yeah, he's leaning in.
You went back twice.
You been back twice.
You couldn't pick one shirt to bring back.
So you couldn't order a shirt from Amazon?
Yeah.
You've worn this shirt for 60% of the episodes we've done since then.
People think it's a rerun every time.
They're like, I'm not going to watch it.
Yeah.
They probably think it's a fucking shirt.
It's killing the numbers off.
Why didn't you dress so goddamn stupid, they wouldn't even turn into this part.
I know, dog.
I know.
I got new jeans coming.
I'm waiting on you.
Does that have undershirt, too?
Nah, no, no.
I bought new undershirts.
That's the only purchase I got.
That's like a Lego character.
You just built with the shirt, dude.
I think you got one outfit for life.
The only purchases I made are underwear and socks.
And then the rest of our shit.
It's a shame because he's looking good.
No.
I saw him walking in the gym the other day, bro.
He's got some muscles.
I saw him at the gym today, too.
You got the biceps.
Yo, honestly, your face is looking slimmer.
Don, I'm at the gym too much to buy new clothes.
No, no, no.
Put your wife on that shit, bro.
Yeah, you're right.
Come on.
Don't take that shit, man.
The fans still shame this motherfucker out of wearing shorts.
He still has a point.
Wow.
That's a good wearing long pants.
Do I have my fit?
Do I have my fit?
Oh, wait, what's going on?
He shamed you.
He's up to something.
Look how mischievous he is.
Oh, he's up to something.
Oh, he's up to something.
You thought you changed me?
Uh-oh.
Oh.
Oh, hey.
I got it, bro.
He's got a little snow.
Give him a play-by-play.
Give him a play by.
Andrew, you acting like you still didn't.
You chose not to wear it.
Why you hide it?
You can't even find it.
Yeah.
And you notice he got more pale, right?
He used to be super tan, bro.
He's been a bit more.
What happened to tan, yo?
I don't know.
He went to Columbus for the weekend.
Yeah.
I think it started to fade off a little bit.
That chemical pill and shit.
Yo, he is frantically searching.
Eyebrows and shit like that.
Convenient.
I went out of my just take the pants off.
It'll look the same as if they were.
What are you talking about?
No, I got something fire for you asses.
I thought I had it with me today, but maybe it's back at the crib.
Damn, man.
Anyway, so what else?
We got this Kirk Franklin situation.
Oh, yeah.
I want to watch the video.
Play it.
So, Kirk Franklin, I don't know if you guys know who he is.
I don't know.
He is a legendary Christian.
What is it?
Gospel.
He's like a rapper singer.
He's a casual rapper.
Yeah.
Kind of lit.
Jesus rapper.
Yeah, he looks like Plys.
This is the apology, I believe.
But no, I want to see the video.
So basically, his son exposed a video of him cursing him out.
Why was he cursing his son out?
There's no context.
Obviously, the kid is just going to post a part where his dad is cussing him out.
Okay.
If you think I'm bringing this paper, understand like this.
When don't beat your ass, start hit the shit.
Before I put my foot in your ass, how dare you?
She's got to marry you.
She's got to bury you.
How dare you?
You pull hands up.
I'll hold.
Look, I won't bite your neck.
I did it.
He just hung up the phone.
All right.
I mean, I got to know the context.
I think you're allowed to curse out your kids.
I hate this kid doing this, man.
Why can't you curse out your kids?
You can.
Why is this bad?
Because he's normal in the black.
Kirk Franklin.
That's what I was going to say.
Kirkland.
He's a black singer.
He's not a man.
His fan base is not white enough to care about this.
Yeah.
He got a black fan base.
They're going to hear this and be like, I don't give a fuck.
Yeah, that's a regular phone call.
Yeah.
But is he not allowed because he's religious?
Is that the idea?
That's the idea.
That's what it is.
So what is he supposed to do?
What are religious people supposed to do in that situation?
Where their kid does something annoying, where you want to put your foot up their asshole.
Yeah.
I think he just hit him.
Growing up in the Christian South, you get whipped.
Yeah, so you're allowed to do that.
It doesn't say that you're not allowed.
Man, fuck his son.
How dare you?
Fuck you.
How dare you record?
Yeah.
Bitch ass motherfucker.
That is some pussy ass.
I hate that son, yo.
Yeah, this is what's happened to Alec Baldwin, right?
What happened?
He was cut.
Oh, no, was that Mel Gibson?
He was cussing out his daughter and then his daughter exposed him, recorded.
No, that was his wife.
Yeah.
Yeah, he called his like six-year-old daughter.
That's a greedy little pig, though.
But now do we have a double standard, though?
Hold on a second, because that is hilarious.
If he called his six-year-old daughter greedy little pig.
This is like early 2000s.
We're talking 2007, something like that.
We're going to need that video, bro.
I don't understand why you can't be upset at your kids, bro.
Mel Gibson was not very defensible, but this shit, I defend this, and I defend it.
You're a greedy little pig.
Yo.
Yeah, maybe.
She was, but like, I just don't understand why people are up in arms.
Is it because he's because he's, what is it called?
Proselytizing all the time?
Is that the term?
So it's like, so is so because he's saying he's pushing the gospel, he's supposed to act that way in his life.
Is that a Christian who walks in, I guess, whatever, walks in the faith or whatever the term is, you wouldn't cuss.
Oh, so it's just the curse words.
It's the curse words.
It's not about the violence.
That's what's funny.
This is the Alec Baldwin phone call.
I want to tell you something, okay?
And I want to leave a message for you right now.
Because again, it's 10:30 here in New York on a Wednesday.
And once again, I've made an ass of myself trying to get you a phone to call you at a specific time.
When the time comes for me to make the phone call, I stop whatever I'm doing.
And I go and I make that phone call at 11 o'clock in the morning in New York.
And if you don't pick up the phone at 10 o'clock at night and you don't even have that goddamn phone turned on, I want you to know something, okay?
I'm tired of playing this game with you.
I'm leaving this message with you to tell you you have insulted me for the last time.
You have insulted me.
Is this Justin Bieber's wife that he's talking about?
Or not Steven Baldwin.
I don't give a damn that you're 12 years old or 14 years old or that you're a child or that your father is a thoughtless pain in the ass who doesn't care about what you do as far as I'm concerned.
You have humiliated me for the last time with this phone.
And when I come out here next week, I'm going to fly out there for the day just to straighten you out on this issue.
I'm going to let you know just how disappointed in you I am and how angry I am with you that you've done this to me again.
You've made me.
Do any of y'all know what he did?
Or she did to him?
She wasn't answering his calls, right?
That's it.
Yeah, geez, that's what he's saying.
I'm tired of you turning your phone off.
That seems to be it.
Okay.
She was 11.
Yeah, but answer your fucking phone.
Like, I get that frustration.
Sometimes I'll text Mark three times because I need some shit.
He don't pick up his fucking phone.
That's what that message I want to leave.
Well, I'm not a thoughtless little pig.
You are a thoughtless little pig.
I'm not.
Yeah, you are.
I'm a thoughtful little pig.
No.
So here's the thing I don't understand about this.
Obviously, it's bitch ass of the kids to expose their parents.
That's some fuck shit.
Right?
I'm annoyed about that.
But being upset at your kids is so regular.
Like, why are we acting like this is wrong?
That's a good point.
You never had your parents yell at you?
That's a good point.
You've been yelled at, have you not?
Oh, yeah.
Like, badly or no?
What's the worst thing your parents ever did to you?
Ooh, yelled at.
Let's go.
I don't remember.
My dad yelled at me one time, and he used some village Hindi that I swear to God I've never heard him use again.
What does that mean?
Grab the machete so it makes it real.
But I don't remember.
I was just like, what the fuck is he speaking to me right now?
I know Hindi.
This is, I've never heard before, and I never heard it again.
He was fucking livid.
Wow.
That's it.
That's the most I got yelled at.
But that's it.
Nothing crazy?
Nothing crazy.
What'd you do to deserve it, though?
Y'all never got yelled at, son?
Yeah.
Like, what was it?
I mean, like, my mom probably did crazy.
My parents had a whole other person's birthday on my birthday once.
And when I complained about it, yelled at me.
Wait, what?
Some bitch?
One of their friends, one of my mom's friends?
Bitch.
Wait, was she a kid?
Whole adult bitch.
I literally said to them, I'm walking with my dad.
Like, I'm having like a tiff about this.
I was mad young when birthdays mattered.
And I was walking with my dad.
And I said, I was like, yo, it's not weird.
I remember exactly where I was.
Aster plays in Broadway.
I was like, yo, it's not weird that you're having someone else's birthday on my birthday.
And then my dad was like, and my dad's the most easy going about everything.
He goes, I had enough of this.
We're not talking about this anymore.
Stop being spoiled.
And I'm like, spoiled?
I can't have my birthday on my birthday.
You got some other bitch, mom's friends, an old-ass bitch.
This makes so much sense.
Trauma.
Every year it comes by, I don't like doing anything for my birthday.
I don't want to do any more.
That's a good point.
That's a good point.
I've been scarred.
I've been scarred and abused.
But you know, I'm sorry.
Where's Chris Anson when you gave him?
But this whole story is about your parents yelling at you, and his dad called him spoiled.
Yeah.
His dad said I had enough.
It's about what's how you got yelled at, you sensitive ass.
They celebrated some bitch's birthday in my house.
They were singing happy birthday to not me on my birthday while I sat in my room watching the Spice channel.
You don't get enough attention the other 364 days a year.
Yeah.
No, that's that really is like.
That is worse than raping your kids, bro.
Real talk.
That is terrifying, dude.
I remember exactly what I was.
Happy birthday, dear Katrina.
Fuck you, bitch.
That's your Katrina.
That shit was my Katrina.
The way that came in and destroyed my household.
Let me tell you something.
George Bush don't care about white people either.
Let's go.
Is it a flyover for your birthday just looking at it?
That's Andy's birthday.
So they didn't even do a happy birthday to you both.
Oh, yeah.
They knew I was in the house.
I was too young to leave.
It was if they were teasing me.
They were taunting me.
Happy birthday.
They got louder.
Katrina and no one else.
Nobody else could possibly want a bird.
I disagreed with your parents completely.
Yeah.
Dealing with you.
That's why my dad fakes his memory loss.
Because I'll be bringing that shit up and he'd be like, I don't know what you're talking about.
I was like, oh, convenient.
Fake Memory Loss Prank00:15:18
Oh, now we got Alzheimer's when we got to remember traumatic times of my childhood.
Yeah.
You never turned seven.
I never did that.
Dramatic, this guy.
Wait a minute.
Does that mean I'm 36?
Oh, look at that.
I take a year back.
Can we throw you a seventh birthday?
Yeah, we should throw me a seventh birthday.
We're going to do that.
We're going to do that.
All right, done.
Yeah.
I mean, it's unbelievable, bro.
You're on some Harry Potter shit, bro.
I am on some Harry Potter shit.
And it was my mom's fault, bitch.
I don't blame my dad.
My dad was probably fighting for me.
Yeah.
My dad was probably out there like, nah, we shouldn't do it.
We shouldn't celebrate Katrina's birthday.
My mom was like, no, let's do it.
Yeah.
Make your own reality.
Yeah.
Yeah.
We're making it.
Yeah.
All right, mom.
I know what you're up to.
Mom, try me.
Disrespect your boy.
Yeah.
Somebody, whose birthday got forgotten this year?
Ooh.
You know what I'm saying?
My mom all upset.
Yep.
Let me tell you.
Let me say it, Mark.
I don't know where you're going.
Scoreboard.
Scoreboard, mom.
Yeah.
My mom got a scoreboard.
February 23rd came around.
Not a single phone call.
Oh, my.
That's just Tuesday.
Yeah.
It is just Tuesday.
And the 27th came around, and she was a little upset.
You got your mom's birthday, yo?
Hey, everyone's got Alzheimer's.
That's Alzheimer's.
I know what it is.
That's Alzheimer's.
It is what it is.
Hey, shit gets forgotten sometimes.
It's not like I was wishing happy birthday to someone else in her fucking presence.
Son, I got locked under a staircase while they sung happy birthday.
Like Harry Potter shit.
Letters flying in all the time.
I didn't have a staircase in my program in New York, but still, I really colored up the story.
So let me ask you this, though.
Where's Katrina now?
I don't know.
I hope Corona took her lungs.
Say she can't blow out her own candle.
That's the last deep breath you took.
Yeah.
Katrina's looking at you now, jealous.
Yeah, she probably is, bro.
So all I got to say is, you know, you got to understand the frustration that these people go through.
All right.
Alec Baldwin had a difficult life.
I defend these guys.
We're editing it.
We're editing that.
We're editing it.
You're the skid fancy to this podcast.
Yo, you know what you are?
You're a thoughtless little pig.
That's what you are.
How you forget your mom's birthday, bro?
Yo.
You want to know who a thoughtless little pig is?
I'll tell you what those little pig is.
Go ahead.
Mom would have forget somebody's birthday.
Yo, we got to heal Andrew right now.
I need to get healed.
I think we got to call my mom.
Call Ayanla.
What's that bitch?
That fake healing bitch?
Ayana Herci Ali, the Muslim that he's Muslim.
Who?
Ayan Herci Ali.
You talking about Mahursal Ali, the guy that was in Rami?
No, Ayan Herci Ali or some shit.
She like African, Ethiopian chick or something.
Io.
You don't say.
Yeah, you know.
But yeah, and she was just on Rogan.
She eats, well, she don't hate Muslims.
She's like an activist or some shit.
Mark, what you eating, bro?
I'm about to give you a happy birthday cupcake.
Oh, no, dude.
Those are those old ones that are full of like.
That shit.
I mean, yeah, for a month and a half.
Put that away.
I'm going to get it.
Happy day to you.
Happy birthday to you.
Happy birthday, dear Andrew.
Happy birthday to you.
Just Andrew, no one else.
Cha-cha-cha.
Yo, we're throwing you.
Thank you.
Yo, I'm gonna be honest with you guys.
Thank you, man.
Nah, that shit felt good.
Now make a wish, you thoughtless little pig.
We're doing a Disney World birthday for him when you're in Orlando.
Yeah.
We did that already.
Yo, you know whose birthday it is this week?
Who?
Alex Medias.
Oh, turning 38.
You want to turn 38.
Stop dressing like the way you dress.
You hate it.
I am hating.
I am hating.
I do not like it one day.
But all the colors go, so it is what it is.
What did you say he looked like?
I don't remember.
Come on.
How are you doing, Pon?
I was setting him up.
Oh, Method Man and How High.
That's what I said.
Oh, classic movie.
I'm trying to figure out what you look like.
More money, more problems.
Go get the goggles.
Let's go, dub.
No, Seth Green.
Remember Dr. Rebo's summer when he went on the dubs?
He was going good, and then he kind of.
Can't hardly wait.
Yes.
Not people.
Like, what other things does he look like that aren't human?
Son.
Oh, he looks like Powerline from a goofy movie.
What's that?
Remember, like, the pop star in a goofy movie?
I love that.
You guys are just bombing, right?
Just silent.
I'm going to come out of nowhere.
Out of nowhere?
I'm going to come out of nowhere.
Right now, the vibe isn't right for it because the defense is on.
You got your balls up.
You caught me.
You caught me with dirty.
Oh, yeah.
You slung one at him, bro.
You were like one of Chris Hansen's victims.
You made him out of a seat.
Chris Hansen's victim?
Yeah.
Chris didn't know what to do, bro.
He hasn't hung out with that many black people before.
So you started clowning Al's outfit and he was like, what's wrong?
He's dressed quite well.
What are we doing?
Totally fine.
There's nothing wrong with that.
We're also referencing an interview that we don't know if it's in the beginning of this episode.
So you'll get to it eventually if it's not there.
And if it is, hey, you know what I mean?
That was also how you started this episode, to be fair.
I did?
Yeah.
Fuck.
You might have to cut that shit.
What's up, everybody?
Welcome.
All right.
Boom, bang, bing.
What else we got, man?
See Stacey Dash apologizing for that bitch.
Yo.
Useless ass bitch.
I hate that shit.
I know.
Now you're trying to switch teams because you lost.
Oh, no.
I just hate girls that used to be hot that aren't that still talk.
That's still talking.
Yeah.
Those are annoying.
Like when you're hot for a living and then you're no longer.
Like when you're hot for a living and that's just what you were.
You didn't try to do anything else besides be hot for a living.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And then when that's over, you try to transition to some other shit.
It's kind of pointless.
Like, stop it.
Right.
You know what I mean?
Like, you did the least amount of work for attention and now you're like, I still need the attention.
It's like, well, you should have put some work in back then.
I'm wrong?
Yeah.
No, I was just thinking, is it that much more annoying than when hot girls talk?
Yo, hot girls, I love when hot girls talk.
Like politically?
Keep it talking, yo.
Politically, what do you mean?
Keep talking, politics, whatever you want to talk about.
Talk.
What do you mean?
I like it when they talk.
What if it's not intelligent with this?
It's still funny.
They're just talking.
You know what I mean?
They don't know that this is boring.
It's fun.
It's always fun when they talk.
If they're talking, it's interesting.
It's interesting.
If they're talking, it's dumb.
They're like, they don't know that you're dumb.
It's amazing.
It's always good when they talk.
That's why we listen.
And then that's why they talk because we listen.
This is the world.
Nah, we just listen because they're hot.
That's what I'm saying.
But it's like, I'm not taking in or laughing because I'm just not taking it in.
Like, it would be the same as if I watched it on mute.
Al, you have done so much crazy shit to get pussy.
You have definitely laughed at a hot girl.
Get out of here.
You wore big hats and fucking dreads.
You stopped on a fucking platform at a club.
You read a manual.
You read a manual to get ass.
This is out of here.
He al wins this one.
This is yours.
If I'm not here.
Al's like, you had a fucking peacock hat and you're like, you tiptoed.
Yeah.
You still on tiptoe.
It's the same.
How is it different?
He made himself taller this way.
He made himself taller this way.
That's what it is.
You push the ground down, bro.
This is more ridiculous.
What's more ridiculous?
The hat and the book and the lifestyle.
I don't understand why that's ridiculous.
You're going to get a manual from somewhere.
You're going to watch your Puerto Rican brethren sexually harass women on the street and learn that way.
Fire?
Yeah, that's fire.
That's how I learned initially.
Fire.
And then I learned a better way.
Wear stupid outfits.
And then the women harass you.
He's tight.
You think I'm doing?
This motherfucker wants all the attention.
Yeah.
He's just mad you got a cheat code.
That's what it is.
Yo, you got to do it.
Do the cheat codes.
Yep.
Nah, but it's like, I'm sure the cheat code worked great.
But some of the L's you take in the beginning, that's where you learn.
Oh, yeah.
I took some brutal L's.
What's the most, what's the most brutal way you got rejected by a girl?
Too many times.
You remember like a distinct one, like real bad?
I mean, I just remember in the club, like when you try to dance with them and they'll like straight look at you to see if you're cute.
And then walk away.
Dude, it's like you're in an episode of Next.
Remember that show on MTV?
Yeah.
Next, where the girls could just go next, and then you're fucking done.
Like you signed the waiver, you got the permission and everything, and they looked at your face and then you were over.
And that happens at the fucking club.
One time in high school, I was at a party and this girl came by and I was like, all right, yeah, I'll be like cute and fun.
That was kind of my angle.
I would just be like the cute flirty guy.
And she had money in her hand and she was kind of drunk.
And so I like gave her a hug and I was like, oh, I'm going to take the money.
Like, oh, thanks for the five bucks.
Yeah, yeah.
And then I took it out of her hand and she didn't realize that.
I took it out of her hand.
And then she saw me with the money and then looked at me and goes, did you just steal my money?
And I was like, no, I was trying to be funny.
Like, I took it as a joke.
Like, you saw me take it.
She goes, no, you just took that out of my pocket.
And I was like, no, I didn't.
And she starts yelling at everyone in the whole house.
And all these guys come over and they're like, yo, why'd you steal her money?
And I was like, I didn't.
I was doing the joke to try to be nice.
And then they all got pissed me.
I had to leave.
No.
You know what's crazy?
Mark told us that whole story as if we don't know he's homeschooled.
Yo, is that a fan?
It doesn't matter my sister, okay?
You took your cousin's money.
Why does that matter?
Why does it matter?
Okay.
It was five bucks.
Okay.
I try to be friendly.
All right.
Sorry, I'm friendly.
Your story, that's his cousin that he's hitting on.
That's a Florida sheriff.
What?
Florida boy.
They kicked you out the party, though.
Yeah, they were kind of just like, yo, like, did you steal her money?
And I was holding her money.
No, you did steal it because you have to give it right back after the joke.
Yeah, holding it for a minute.
No, she noticed as soon as I came out of the hug and she was like, yo, why do you have it?
And I didn't have an answer.
I was like, for funny.
And she's like, why is that funny?
You steal my money.
And I was like, when you say it that way, it's not really.
Funny.
Yeah, it's not funny, but it's kind of cool.
It gets the conversation going.
So then I had to leave.
What was her name?
I actually don't remember her name.
Katrina.
It's probably Katrina.
Them Katrinas, bro.
Female Speaker 1.
All right.
What about you, Akash?
Oh, man.
So many.
So many.
I've been the ugly friend where, like, we were at a club and then a girl danced, wanted to dance with my homie.
So then the other friend was like, all right, man, I'll dance with this motherfucker.
And then I'm just here pretending I have to dance with her for my homie.
But I know I just got rejected by this bitch and we got to still dance.
It was the most disheartening.
Just fucking sitting there for one song.
Like, you told me I'm ugly and I still have to dance on you for four and a half minutes.
What the fuck is this?
She looked at me like, like, no.
Oh, you could, she was not vocal, but you could see the look, you know, and you see the look like fine.
All right.
It's like a make-a-wish.
Like, exactly.
It's like a make-a-wish.
I'm the favor.
You know what I mean?
And I still got to dance with you.
Oh, bro.
Bro, I remember once I liked this girl that worked at the grocery store.
You know, my folks had that little beach house, right?
There's one store in the whole fucking community.
There's only one store.
It's the grocery store.
Right?
It's the only way you could get anything.
And I liked this girl, right?
And she was not feeling it.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And I was low-key.
I'd be walking around with my shirt off when I'm young as fuck, probably 12, 13, flexing the abs.
It's not there.
No pecs.
No pecs, nothing, but like the abs look kind of there, whatever.
I was really into it, not feeling it.
And then she ends up hooking up with my boy.
Ooh.
And she knew that I wanted it.
And then she ended up hooking up with my boy.
This Katrina ass bitch.
This Katrina ass bitch.
And I had to see her and check out with items for a whole summer.
For a whole summer.
Just watching her look at my loser ass.
Nah, that's where you flex, bro.
No, you get the magnum condoms.
You go, yeah, bring it up, bitch.
Yeah, bring it up.
I guess it's me.
I'll jerk off into these condoms all night.
So that shit was brutal.
Fucking walking up to the counter, just slamming your shit down.
Yo, you don't got self-checkout in this whole fucking shitty ass grocery store making her do matt extra work.
I'll take a bag and a plastic bag.
Double bag that shit.
Yeah, you don't need her, bro.
Yeah, you're right.
I did fine.
Single, though, and you can learn to laugh at yourself when you get rejected hard.
Then you're liberated.
Bro, those guys were the greatest, man.
My boy Siddiqui was a fucking legend, bro.
Did you ever meet Siddiqui?
The best.
You met Siddiqui, yeah.
So Sidiki was an absolute legend.
This guy would hit on anything walking, Jamaican, shouts to Jamaicans.
And anything walking.
And he had a pretty good success rate, but when it didn't go his way, it meant nothing to him.
Absolutely nothing.
Hilarious.
Wasn't even angry about it.
It would be more heartbreaking to him to not hit on the girl than get rejected.
Like that would hurt his soul more.
He'd be like, man, I should have fucking told you.
He would stay awake at night.
Bro, he was rolling around.
At me, like, I'm talking to him.
He'd be like, man, why the fuck you need to finish that conversation?
I should have got rejected by that girl.
I feel better right now.
But that guy had it down, man.
You said some shit one time that I remember always.
It's like, the moment you are immune to rejection, you're a superhero.
Superhero.
That's what worked for me.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Double hit on anything, but he does it in a thing hot.
You have standards.
But he does this thing that's so funny when he hits on girls.
This is how he hits on every single girl.
He goes like this.
Like they walk by or something like that.
And he goes, he goes, hi.
He puts his hand out like this, right?
He goes like this.
He goes, he goes, one of a thousand.
No, no, no.
This is always the move.
Like this.
And it confuses them for a moment where they're like, is he gay?
Like, what's going on?
And then he just goes in and starts laying it on.
Oh, but he gets in.
They think there's like a signal.
That's like when Andrew would wear the top hat.
You just need a signal.
You need a.
You're right.
There's a, there's a, there's a fish.
Gay at a top hat.
That's two different shit.
That's two angles.
That's gay.
That's Abraham Lincoln.
I like to work hard.
I like to dig myself out of that.
So, I mean, you can't hit all black girls with a top hat.
You know what I mean?
Like that?
Remember?
That guy?
That's why we can eat here together.
That's kind of smart, actually.
That's a good ass point.
You got to dress like the savior.
Yeah.
If you want Indian chicks, how do you dress?
Whatever your parents tell you to wear.
No, I'm talking about just not Indian.
I was going to say Gandhi.
Gandhi.
Oh, you got goodness?
Okay, I see you now.
I was in my head about that Patrice bit about hitting on black women.
And he's just like, you can't be like, how you doing to a black woman?
If you say, how are you doing to a black woman?
Dating Advice and Charisma00:15:27
She'll call you a f.
How you doing?
Get out of here with that old haggard ass shit.
How are you doing?
I'm not supposed to take my panties off now.
It's so good, dude.
Duff, biggest rejection you ever had?
Yeah, so I really loved this girl for years through high school.
Tried everything, was friend zone, take her to clubs.
We dance.
She would tease the whole thing.
She ends up going to UC Santa Barbara with me.
And then I brought her out to party.
And I was like, all right, I'm going to make my move this time.
And then she met fucking Andrew.
And then that happens.
And I'm like, this is not true.
Bruh.
This is not true.
This is not true.
I did strike it down.
I did split it open 100%.
But I did that for you.
Wow.
That's fucked up.
Thank you.
I did that for you.
That's like your homie who fucked with the supernatural.
He kind of didn't do anything.
He didn't do it.
He was getting spiteful.
That's childhood drama.
He was trying to get even.
Ow.
Motherfucker would be not even paying for shit at the grocery store in my face.
Wow.
This bitch would let him get the free gum and then charge me for gum right afterwards.
Wow.
That's insult to injury.
Is she dissing you like that?
She was dissing me like that, bro.
Making me pull a whole quarter out of my portrait.
Scan your dick.
Oh, baby carrots.
Oh, weird.
This spiteful ass bitch.
But that's not fair because he had a girlfriend the whole time that he was in high school.
So he wasn't really.
You were protecting him.
I was protecting him.
No, it was when I was single.
And the girl had the fatty, bro.
White girl, fatty.
Let's go.
She had.
Oh, let's go.
You would have been proud.
This girl had the fatty.
Did she not?
Number one.
Number one.
Okay, I'll give a real wagon.
Wagon, bro?
Covered wagon?
Bruh.
Bruh.
Oregon Trail.
Oregon Trail.
Let's go, baby.
Cover Wagon.
We're going West.
Come on, dub.
It was going down.
Your boy almost died of dysentery.
It's a gold rush.
That's foul.
Okay, but I'll give another one off of Alex's that you have to be in your mid-30s of like when you would go to these like just the clubs.
Girls would be, yeah, you got it.
Andrew has it.
Girls would dance facing each other, and it was like where you would freak behind girls.
And so you actually would go up to girls that didn't even really look at you dancing.
You just kind of go behind them and go with the rhythm.
And you don't get rejected by them.
You're assaulting women.
But you don't get rejected by them.
You get rejected by Brandon.
If the friend thinks you're hot or you're good or you're dancing, they'll give a signal right in front of your face.
But when they reject you, you're looking at the friend.
You get the face of the rejection to that, and you're like, hate him.
Just a little like.
Hate him.
They do that spin move and then move them away.
Spin move.
Hate him, bro.
I hate that shit.
Hate him, bro.
But that was wild that we could just dance like that.
I don't even think we wanted to dance like that.
No.
No.
We just thought that that's how you spoke to me.
You had to get good at dancing like that.
It was wild.
Instant, yeah.
You like that?
Yeah, I loved that.
Wait, why?
Yeah.
It was just good.
Puerto Rican.
If you were good, it was like home.
That was the best.
It was Tinder in person.
Yeah.
Ooh, man.
But it's Tinder if the friend has the phone.
And now it's just up behind the girl, like, please.
So, you know, it's the worst.
Like, when you would make eye contact with a girl from like kind of far away on the dance floor, and then you thought that it was a yes.
So you started like dancing up to him, like moving in between people.
And then you get there, and this bitch was like, You thought wrong.
That should be having a lot of people.
Very wrong.
We're not dancing.
Now you got to slowly dance back to your friends in the tree.
And it's so crazy because that's before.
And then it takes long to get back to your friends.
You just got four of your friends just going, you got that rejected.
What did you even look at?
You think I've gotten the shoe away?
Come on now.
No.
Oh, that's fine.
That's a barnyard animal movie.
I used to be tight when they, like, girls would say they had a boyfriend at the club.
Like, I have a boyfriend.
And I'd be like, the fuck you doing here?
What are you doing here?
What the fuck are you doing here?
I just meandered through everybody in the whole club.
She's lying every time.
Son, I'd be tight.
I used to be in New York.
Your boy's Miami right now.
How many boyfriends you have?
One?
Just one boyfriend?
I'll come back with the Latin answers, bro.
Dude, I used to have little comeback lines when they would say that shit.
Yeah.
I would say that.
Like, I have a boyfriend.
And I was like, oh, you just got one.
Oh, that's bro.
Hit him with the, oh, just because there's a goalie doesn't mean you can't score.
Hey.
I've never seen it.
What?
That sounded creepy.
That's why I've never said that.
That was a lot of fun.
He's the goalie, bro.
You know what it is?
It's weirdly similar to stand-up.
Like, the audience, if they heckle or whatever, is only going to say a certain amount of things that are all kind of the same.
So when you're getting rejected, girls are going to say the same thing.
Like, oh, I can't talk, or I got to go.
I'm on my way to work.
There's like 10 things that they're going to say universally.
So you hear them enough, and then you eventually start to develop pick them.
I remember when we would ask people to come, beg people to come into comedy shows.
There'd be the same lines that they would say.
I'm already a comedian.
This guy's already, that was always the one.
What's that?
This guy's already a comedian.
I'm already funny.
I'm already a comedian.
What would your line to that be?
Go fuck yourself.
Different approach.
That's effective.
That's also good.
I just found that answer so upsetting.
That's the only one I remember.
This will sound obvious.
If a girl says, I have a boyfriend, I literally would say, me too.
And I would play off of that.
Why are you saying me too, bro?
Trust me.
Because if it was just a line, he goes gay.
He goes gay.
Because a lot of them, if they were bullshitting, you can figure out if they really had a boyfriend.
It buys you more time if they actually react in a funny way to it.
Okay.
Trust me.
You would double down.
Double down.
Is he here also?
Because some of them are lying.
I would love to fuck him.
I would see around.
I used to always ask if the boyfriend was Indian.
And if he was, I would not do anything.
This was like a rule I had.
And if he wasn't, I was like, let's go.
I don't give a fuck.
And then I would tell them, I would say, I'm sure he can make you happy.
I can make you and your parents happy.
And that was my response every time.
There's one like if it was during the day or something like that.
And the girl would be like, oh, I can't.
I'm going to work right now.
And there'd be two ways that I would go about it.
One, I'd be like, oh, you got a job.
Because then they're like, wait, wait, yeah, aren't you supposed to have a job?
Or it was like, oh, come on, you're too pretty to have a job.
Oh, that's a good one.
And then they just giggle.
Yeah.
But then you just have to follow them down the street.
You know what's crazy?
It's like, that was completely normalized.
Like, just following a girl while talking to them, that was normal back then.
Up to like, how long do you think it was okay before you realize like, ah, okay, this is probably one quarter of a city block.
One quarter of a city block.
Not avenue, regular city block.
One quarter was reasonable.
Hey, let me tell you something.
You don't quarter?
You put it in the car.
You quit a quarter.
You get the full block.
A quarter of a block?
Yo, you lazy ass bitch.
How you go?
It sounds so crazy.
That's two numbers.
That's two buildings.
That's also a New York thing.
Okay, it sounds so crazy, but here's the thing.
In most cases, it was probably absolutely crazy.
But you have to understand for women in New York, it's so difficult just to walk.
It's not now, it's probably way different because people are Tinder and like everybody's terrified.
Like, all these young kids are terrified to meet a girl in person.
But when that's the only way that you can meet girls in person, girls will get hit on all the time walking down the street.
Like, headphones were made to not get hit on.
You know what I mean?
Like, when they started making headphones real small, girls, like, no, no, no, no.
Like, give me the biggest headphones.
Give me the beats.
Yeah.
You know, oh, yeah.
That was the best possible way to not get hit on.
So there was a little bit of a knee-jerk reaction, I think, from girls.
When you walked up, the knee-jerk reaction was, I don't want anybody talking to me.
Yeah.
And if you got past that, then maybe they were like, okay, I'm open to this.
So it sounds weird to go, you got to kind of, you know, use some charisma to get past that initial block.
But I bet 90% of the guys that tried to do that were wrong.
Yeah.
But that was normal.
Yeah.
Completely normal.
That's in New York, though, because if you grew up in a place where people aren't walking, the idea of following a girl that's walking, you'd only see her in like your neighborhood or some shit.
Yeah.
You're going to like hound some chick in your neighborhood.
But in New York, it's totally different.
It sounds crazy describing it.
But I cannot tell you how many numbers, even if it was going well, she's still walking.
So then you're just kind of walking together, then you get her number the next block.
But that sounds ridiculous.
Like if a girl's moving in a direction and you're just going in that same direction, you're following a girl down the street.
But this was completely normal and would work.
Isn't that nuts?
I never did the train hit on.
Did you?
I never hit on a girl in an enclosed space because they don't have, in my mind, I'm like, they should have the free will to just do whatever the fuck they want.
Like I'd never hit on a girl in a gym.
I never hit on a girl like at work.
I never hit on a girl in a place where they can't just leave.
Right.
Because my feeling is like, if we're just outside, we're walking down the street or we're at like a bar, you just go to a different place, go to a different part of the world.
Other people around.
Yeah, whatever.
But like going up to a girl in the subway or going up to a girl in a gym, now is uncomfortable for her the fucking whole time in the gym.
No, it's uncomfortable for you when you get rejected in the subway and then you just have to stay in that same fucking girl.
That's why I didn't do it.
I just got to sit in the car and get rejected.
Worse.
I don't get rejected, bro.
I just continue doing some sort of like performance.
Like I just singing mariachi music or something.
I do break dancing.
You're like hanging on the phone.
Showtime.
Ladies and gentlemen.
No, but you're 100% right.
Getting rejected and having to sit there in front of everybody is wild, bro.
That's why I'll never do one of them fucking what is it called?
Cruise ship comedy shows, bro.
Oh, bro.
I heard a joke.
I don't know whose joke it was.
Maybe it was Ray Romano or something.
He was telling me about bombing on a cruise ship that like the hallways are so skinny on a cruise ship that people can't pass each other like this.
They have to pass each other sliding by face to face.
So he would bomb, right?
And then have to walk by.
He would shimmy by the crowd, nose to nose.
Oh my God, dude.
And just hearing that story, I'm like, I'll never perform a comedy on a ship ever.
It's not worth it, bro.
You got to take that ship down with you.
If I'm bombing, we all sinking.
Yo, that's the crazy thing, though, about your guys' generation growing up and hitting on girls without cell phones.
Like nowadays, you like go to a girl.
Some we had cell phones, bro.
We're not that old, bro.
Nah.
Like an iPhone?
What?
No, iPhone.
But I'm saying like Berry.
A girl rejects you.
You look at your phone.
You're like, oh, yeah, I'm getting a text.
Like, you have a diversion.
But like, if you got rejected, you just had to stand there.
You talking about like, oh, you didn't have anything to look at.
Yeah.
Like, you just go.
You know what we look at afterwards?
Yeah.
We look at our friends laughing at us.
That's why we have way thicker skin.
Okay.
Every time you got rejected, it was in front of your friends.
Yeah.
I don't think I even hit on girls outside of my friends being there.
Yeah.
Like, that'd be weird.
Yeah.
You just gonna hit on a girl alone?
I was alone the whole time.
No, you just with your boys.
Sometimes, if the girl's bad, you would hit her.
It would be, bruh.
I don't know.
I used to feel it was performance art.
I used to get upset.
Like, say, if I'm with my friends and I miss the ass that walked by because you know, we all turned them back.
Yeah, yeah.
But if I missed the chance to look at that ass, it's like I missed out on a day.
See, I'd be all insecure that the other women that were walking the same direction down the street as the ass would see me turn around immediately.
So what I would do is I'd walk like two steps after the ass and then I'd act like I missed my friend.
And I'd turn around and then I go like that.
And then I'd turn back.
Oh, yeah, I gotta go.
I'd make up a whole fake story so the other women that I'd never see again in the real world wouldn't judge me for staring at the ass.
The mosquito, bro?
You trying to stop?
What the fuck?
Oh, shit.
That was cool.
God, but it was that important.
You couldn't miss the ass.
You couldn't miss.
It's a great moment when every guy in a circle just stops talking when a hot girl walks by.
Oh, yeah.
It's the best.
Bro, that would unite cultures, bro.
Like an ass walk by.
There'd be some like Jamaican construction worker dude, some like Polish guy cleaning windows and like me.
And we'd all see the ass come with all of us and be like, that's what we like.
Ty fiving.
Nice.
God, man.
It's good the culture changed.
It's pretty good.
Just telling these stories now.
It's a little terrifying.
It's good.
Don never told us his rejection.
Say what?
You'd never told us the question.
That was your rejection, for real.
That wasn't your rejection, dude.
Yeah, that's just a bit of a drink.
He didn't tell me he liked the girl.
He had a girlfriend at the time, and he brought this thing around.
Nah, bro.
I'm going to trust you.
This is when I became single sophomore year.
I was emotional.
It was at the frat house.
It was this.
You came to the party.
Hey, bro.
He knew.
Did he know?
He was at his lowest helmet, too.
Hey, bro.
Stepped on it.
I didn't step on it, bro.
Don't bring the sheep around the lion.
Don't bring the sheep around the lion.
Okay.
Your boy was out there.
She came through with it.
Yeah, sipping on my Jew frat free alcohol that they got.
I was upset about it.
Jewish fraternity.
You did it in his honor.
Jewish fraternity.
Oh, that's Zion, bro.
At the temple.
Hey, bro.
I was there.
I was there.
That's what you got to hit party and take a daddy's joy.
That's nice.
She wasn't Jewish, though.
He did it for me back then.
I did it to protect you.
To protect you.
Yeah.
100%.
Fuck is this guy upset about?
Yeah.
Girls out there.
Not chosen up, bro.
She had the spoiler on it.
Everything, dog.
Shit was beautiful.
You were trying to mess with a boy like that, bro.
Yeah, dude.
He's bad like that.
All right, what else we got?
This guy said the N-word because he was on diabetes.
He had some diabetes acting up, bro.
Did you hear about this?
Oh, yeah, yeah.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
That shit is legendary.
Oh, yeah.
So the guys who were doing the commentary on this, like girl high school basketball game is girls, right?
Yeah.
I think so.
Like, first of all, why is there even commentary on female basketball?
Probably.
But they're doing this game and their mics were hot, which anybody listening right now means their mics were left on.
And they are kneeling for the anthem.
And he just drops the M-bomb on them right there.
Multiple times.
Mad racist.
Multiple times.
Super racist.
And then he said, it was my diabetes.
My diabetes was acting up.
Al, do you believe it?
My sugar spiked.
He said sugar spiked.
Come on, son.
Hell no.
Come on, son.
Hell no.
You never had that happen.
You get hung.
You're hungry.
You get angry?
Yeah.
Yes.
All right.
I don't get racist.
That we know.
But imagine if you had to commentate women's high school basketball.
You'd probably say some angry things.
And your diabetes was that.
And your diabetes was acting up, bro.
I didn't say I didn't get sexist.
So, yeah.
Racist Mics Left On Live00:02:23
Why even pick that job?
That's what I'm saying.
Like, none of this makes sense, bro.
Yeah.
Like, if you don't like black people, you're probably not going to commentate on basketball.
Maybe he feels like it's whiter because none of them can dunk.
I guess.
Oh, but still, isn't that weird?
Yeah, I don't understand it at all.
But going for the diabetes excuse might have been the most brilliant.
Yeah, that's hilarious.
Like, to me, what that is, is he's just going, I'm racist, yo.
Like, I am racist.
If you say diabetes, I ain't nothing I can do about it because I can't get rid of this diabetes.
So diabetes is not going anywhere, so neither are these n-bombs.
Just stay away from me.
Make sure my, you know, stop saying the n-bomb, feed me some chocolate.
Yeah, yeah.
You know who did stop saying the n-word?
Who?
You heard about Papa John?
I was just gonna.
Oh, yo.
Hey, my man put in work, though.
Put in work.
How many months to get out of the.
Was it 20 months?
It was 18 months.
18 months to get the N-word out of his vocabulary.
I mean, that guy put in work.
Yo, he put in effort, man.
Can we give him back the pizza spot?
Nah.
Still?
Nah.
He put in 18 months to get rid of the N-word.
Son.
So that's 18 months of N-words that he was dropping.
No, he was getting rid of it.
Yeah, but if it took 18 months, that means he kept fucking up during those 18 years.
He was weaning himself off.
Yeah.
It's like one of those patches.
I'm not going to be able to do it.
You know, it might be racist.
What did Papa John's give you in addition to pizza?
Breadsticks.
Garlic butter.
Garlic butter.
Who struggles with hypertension, racially speaking, more than any other group?
He's killing my people.
Black people.
That was a ploy.
My man has been trying to, he's been trying to get rid of y'all on the low.
Who has the least papas?
Yeah.
He says, oh, I'm going to be your papa, and then I'm going to kill you with garlic knots.
Al, he love bombed you.
Yeah.
And then he garlic butter.
We're saying he's fucked up.
We're on your side, Al.
Oh, my God, yo.
All right, guys.
We're going to take a break for a second because you need to step up your style a little bit.
Okay.
And fellas, especially, a watch is the really only acceptable form of jewelry.
I mean, I have a necklace on right now that has a penguin on it.
And even saying that, I feel uncomfortable.
So a watch is the only acceptable form of male jewelry.
I think universally accepted.
Absolutely.
It don't matter which community it is.
Every single male community will go, yeah, you could do a watch.
A watch.
100%.
That's the flex.
Grown-up flex.
Grown-up flex shows you got some shit going on.
You're not using it to tell the time.
Watch as Only Male Jewelry00:08:25
You're using it to set a precedent.
You're a grown-ass man.
And how are you going to do it?
You're going to do that with Vincero.
Okay.
Akash, tell them about Vincero.
Vincero watches basically simply best watch for the money you can get.
It's a quality watch that's not too expensive.
Go to vincerocollective.com/slash flagrant.
Okay, I'm going to spell that because it's Italian-y.
V-I-N-C-E-R-O, then collective, which is C-O-L-L-E-C-T-I-V-E dot com slash flagrant.
You're going to use the promo code flagrant.
You're going to get 15% off applied on the entire order.
Okay.
They cover all shipping costs as well when you're using that promo code flagrant.
I'm telling you, you're going to go look at these watches.
They've got a really cool thing on the website where you get to, they can suggest washes that suit your actual style.
So you can click on a picture that shows a type of style and you're like, oh, I kind of dress like that guy, or I kind of dress like this guy.
I'm a business suit dude.
I'm more of like a hype piece casual.
And then they'll suggest watches that they believe go with those styles.
So it's really cool.
Go there, check out the watches.
I mean, check out the site, man.
And I think that you're really going to like it.
Okay.
Vincero.
V-I-N-C-E-R-O collective.com slash flagrant.
Get that discount.
Get your life together.
Now let's get back to the anyway.
What else we got?
Because we got to wrap this up.
Oh, Netflix, yo.
Oh, yeah.
Netflix cracking down on them passwords.
Yo, I'm not having it no more.
Yo, I'm not with this, yo.
But okay, go.
Because this is what bothers me the most: I know every other streaming platform is going to crack down too.
Yeah.
Now we all just got to pay for everything.
We're going to pay more than we ever paid for cable.
Yeah.
But here's the thing.
They knew that this was going to happen because eventually you run out of people who have TVs.
Yes.
So how do you increase subscribership if there's no more fucking TVs on the planet?
Right?
You either give TVs to poor people who can't afford Netflix anyway, or you cut down this sharing shit.
And they could literally double their subscriptions.
I mean, think of how many people. are using their friends Netflix and they ain't gonna give up Netflix.
No.
I guarantee you if they cut down that sharing shit, they double the number of people that are subscribed to it.
I don't even know what my cue is.
Like my cue is if so many people have my password, I'm just like, how the fuck did this get it?
So many times I'll see a movie or do you want to keep watching?
And I'm like, I don't, any number of people could be watching this shit.
I got no clue.
I gave it to everybody.
No, no, you're bugging.
You got to create the other profile so they don't fuck up you.
I already have four, dog.
I'm maxed out on profiles.
But they're great drug dealers.
They gave the product out for free.
Now you need it.
And now pulling it away.
100%.
You're going to pay that $15.
They keep going up in price.
I think they're up to like almost $17.
Yeah, I was paying $18 or something.
That's going up.
But in our lifetime, that's going to be $50.
Not even a lifetime.
In the next 10 years, it will be $50.
Yeah.
And it sucks because I had just said, I'm like, yo, if they go above $20, I'm cutting it and I'm using somebody else's password.
And now they just fucking.
Son, don't you remember saying that about movie tickets?
I remember I was like, yo, once movie ticket, I might have said this.
If movie tickets go over $10, I'm not going no more.
Maybe it was either $10, I think it was $10.
Movie tickets go over $10, I'm not going anywhere.
That shit is at, what, $15?
This is how I know I'm old because I remember movie tickets being $325 and bringing that shit up.
We sound like that.
Yeah, that's what we do.
That's what I've already done.
I remember movie tickets being a quarter.
I got sneakers for a dime.
I'm doing that same shit now.
I remember 325 movies.
Son, I never had this because we're from New York, but like probably where you're from, little country bumpkin ass.
You could go to a matinee.
Oh, yeah.
Like, yeah, I think we had that.
Wait, you had matinees?
Yeah.
How'd you have matinees?
What are you talking about?
It's the first showing before noon or some shit like that.
I think they still have it.
I think you're just so not New York that you don't know what's going on in your own city.
That was the most insulting thing you said this whole podcast.
That was spiteful, bro.
Yeah, why don't you get a new shirt?
They're coming.
Nah, but when tickets prices started going up, then I just started watching a second movie for free.
That was my way of getting, getting back at it.
My mom taught me about that.
Movie hopping?
My mom taught me how to movie hop, and I was such a fucking square that I was like, mom, I don't think we should do this.
This is really wrong.
Like, I had to tell her that we can't do it.
She snuck us into a fucking movie, man.
It was fine.
She's like, tired.
Pop hat off, you idiot.
We're going to want to see Star Wars.
Bro, it was unbelievable.
Ballsy ass.
And the fucking hot dogs got like to $10.
I just started bringing in my own meals and shit like that.
I would come in with like whole ass Tupperware?
Tupperware, Chinese food, chopsticks, the whole nine.
I love it.
I would go ahead.
I went to a movie with Robbie and Casey, and Casey had every dog.
She opened up her purse, just had full-ass meals for everybody.
Oh, you got it.
It was incredible.
It was incredible.
Here's the thing.
I can't eat a meal in the dark.
What do you mean?
I don't eat in the dark.
That's a fish shit.
I would ever see it.
It's a screen that you could see.
Really?
Yeah.
The reason I like the popcorn, the reason I like the snacks and that kind of stuff is that it's just, I know this is going to sound absolutely retarded, but I don't have to look at it.
I know what it tastes like.
I know if I'm eating a burger, I know what it tastes like, but I like to see what the bite is.
You know what I'm saying?
You're a visual eater.
A little bit.
Like if I'm eating like some chicken and broccoli, like I put the fork in it.
I don't know if I got chicken.
I don't know if I got broccoli.
I want to know what it is before it hits my fucking mouth.
With popcorn, I know it's popcorn.
Hits my mouth.
I do not like eating in the dark.
What about a restaurant with low lighting?
I'm kind of like my pops.
My pops would make the whole restaurant turn the light up.
Yeah.
When he got old, he'd be like, oh, it's so dark.
You know, you can't see anything in here.
Can you turn it on?
No, we got eye pick, but the restaurant movie that is a that is a Jew thing, too.
What do you mean?
Just like making everybody else uncomfortable for your president.
No, no, but like Jew, that is a Jewish thing, it's a Jewish New York thing to like ask the restaurant to change certain things about the restaurant when you're in there.
Like uh turn up the AC, turn down the AC, like turn up the lights.
My dad is 100%.
Wow, he grew up in up east side of Manhattan.
It's gonna, you know, rub off a little.
But he would ask, he would tell the restaurant to turn up the lights.
Say what?
It must be nice.
If y'all would tip a little bit, maybe you could do that kind of thing.
Oh, I overcompensate.
I know, but your people are that's why he's wearing this jacket board so you can see his food when he goes to the dark restaurant.
Like, finally, but yeah, you you uh, you would never ask them to do that?
No, I've never asked for an adjustment.
Yeah, I would never do that.
That'd be false.
That's their establishment.
I'm coming to your house and I'm gonna ask you to change some shit.
Let me turn the light on a little bit so we can see what's going on over here.
Well, I mean, I've never been to a restaurant that was that low that it bothered me.
Like the light was that low.
Like, remember we went to Poppy Steak?
Yeah.
My dad would, one, he'd be like, it's kind of loud.
Like a guy from the fucking Gypsy Kings was singing.
He'd be like, do we need to do like this?
No, no, I relate to that.
No, no, I'm with that.
100%.
I'm with that.
Yeah.
That's where you can't even hear myself think.
I'd be saying like that all the time.
Is it happening so loud?
Son, my dad would see that line.
I can't even hear him.
I know.
I know.
Andrew and I sat next to two people yesterday that were chopping up with the bartender from Boston.
All of this.
They ended up walking out because they wouldn't make adjustments on their omelette.
Oh, yeah.
They wanted to make an adjustment on the omelette.
The restaurant wouldn't do it.
They left.
That's great.
Wait, after they got the omelette?
No.
Before they ordered.
Before they ordered it.
They ordered cocktails.
We sat at the bar, like, just like morning cocktails and they walked out.
Yeah, it's great.
I love the Jews.
We got to respect him.
If I got to be loud to talk to you and hear you, I'm out.
I don't want it.
I want no parts of it.
Now, do other Jewish people hear that and they understand?
Oh, dude, Dove spotted him out, fucking truffled him off.
Oh, and he was, he was, he was big, like very transparent about it.
Like, he starts a conversation, and look within two minutes, he goes, What's your last name?
He goes, What's your last name?
He's like, Schwinkle or something like that, right?
Something like that.
It was actually close.
It was something like Schwinkle.
And then he was like, Ah, yeah, Jews.
And they did their little thing, and he had his like Jewish necklace.
And then the wife goes, Yeah, I'm actually not Jewish, you know.
So that, and then Dove could not have been less interested in continuing that conversation.
Didn't look at her.
No, do you know what?
I just kept looking at him.
Yeah.
By the way, we went outside.
Andrew's going back home.
I had to go south to friends.
They drove me.
Of course, they black truffle.
I knew it.
You got Jewish Uber, bro?
You got Juber?
You got Juber down South, dude?
Because I wanted to get to know them better.
See, like, whatever.
They were just dropping these things.
It was like, they're new to Miami.
We've been into a Bendy condo.
And I was just like, I like making friends.
Jews don't trust Uber.
That's why I had to do it, bro.
Schwinkle Name Mix-Up Finale00:01:17
You think?
Yeah, German word, dude.
Son, yeah, come on.
Uber.
I'm not trusting that.
Last time Germans had control of a destination, that shit did not work out.
Uber bad for you guys.
That was Uber bad.
Is this your final destination?
What did you say?
All right, guys.
Listen, thank y'all so much for listening to Flagrant 2.
Thank you so much for spreading the word.
Thank you for telling your friends, telling your family, telling the world.
We have a Patreon and it is the biggest comedy Patreon in the world.
No big deal, but we want to be the biggest Patreon in the world.
So we want the asshole army, you guys that haven't listened yet to go subscribe.
I'm telling you, there's nothing that has this much value on the planet.
You get a new episode every single Friday.
Patreon.com/slash Flagrant Sue, a brand new episode of The Flagrancy every single Friday.
I mean, they're different tiers.
Five bucks is probably what most of you guys are doing.
We got the captains out there doing it big.
We also got the lieutenants, but just think about that.
Four episodes a month, five.
25 and hip spending more on coffee.
Continue the flagrancy, spread the word, spread the love.