Giannis Pappas and Andrew Schulz dissect the History Hyenas' breakup, debating creative differences versus corporate shifts while addressing a controversial text message regarding COVID-19 transmission. The conversation spirals into geopolitical theories about Chinese dominance, conspiracy claims linking pharmaceuticals to obesity, and moral critiques of figures like Andrew Cuomo and Michael Jackson. They analyze whether greatness requires impurity, discuss cultural appropriation in comedy, and reflect on the necessity of mastering social media for modern success, ultimately framing their professional split as a testament to enduring friendship amidst industry chaos. [Automatically generated summary]
Transcriber: nvidia/parakeet-tdt-0.6b-v2, sat-12l-sm, and large-v3-turbo
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China Penetrating American Booty Holes00:14:20
What's up everybody?
Today on Flagrant 2, we're talking about China penetrating American booty holes.
Governor Cuomo has cases rising in New York and they're not from COVID.
We got Mr. Potato Head, who's officially Tranny Potato Head.
And Giannis Papas tells us why the History Hyenas broke up.
Also, we got some other shit.
Anyway, let's just start the show.
What's up, everybody?
Welcome to Flagrant 2.
It's your boy Schultzi.
I'm here with Akash Singh, Alex Media, Mark Gagnon, and we got a special guest in the building.
I don't even know how to introduce you anymore, man.
It's heartbreaking what has happened.
It's heartbreaking, bro.
Yeah.
I am.
Well, let me introduce you first.
Yeah.
It's making the days a little longer.
The days are so long.
Yeah.
They're super long, Yanni.
Yes.
Is that what you're going for, Akash?
Yeah.
Glad we got that.
No, we have Giannis Papas at the house, man.
We have one half of the old History Hyenas podcast, man.
Yeah.
No longer here.
That's right.
Totally gone.
That's right.
We tried to salvage it.
Yes.
A lot of people don't know this.
Yeah.
Now, there's some people listening right now who might not know about the History Hyenas podcast.
Very funny podcast with Giannis Pappas and Chris DeStefano.
Amazing run.
We had a good run.
Successful Patreon.
Very successful.
Very successful Patreon.
Akash gets Corona.
Yes.
I really break this shit down.
Yes.
Knowingly infects you.
Yes.
No.
No.
Knowingly.
He doesn't.
No, he doesn't.
I thought we were yes and.
No, we're not yes and Jake.
We're setting you up.
Okay.
We're stabbing you.
Oh, I know.
I know.
Akash comes in and gives half of the New York comedy scene Corona, which is great for spreader.
Yeah, because Chris was sitting right next to you and he didn't get it.
Chris has had every virus.
We know that.
There's just not enough room for any more in there.
It's like the virus came and it's like a crowded elevator.
It's like, I'll take the next one.
It's like there's syphilis in there.
Gonorrhea is like, there's no room for me.
So you get Corona and you had it bad.
I had a bad one.
It was really bad.
Yeah.
Real bad.
I had it bad.
Like Alex had it bad.
No, no, no, no.
Don't do that.
Don't do it.
You had it very bad.
I had it very bad.
You haven't.
You had it like Hasidic level.
Yeah, no.
It was trying to, God was trying to whack me.
Yeah.
That's what it felt like.
And he also tried to do it a few times.
He talked a lot of shit about him.
I don't blame him.
Yeah.
Yeah, you fucked that guy.
No, because I got shot.
I fuck it.
He's trying to kill me, dude.
I got struck by lightning.
The history hyenas broke up.
He's trying to kill me.
He just wants me to pray one day.
That's it.
I'm on a deathbed.
Believe in him, bro.
I'll be saving you.
Dude, I think it's because I'm not Muslim.
I think they figured it out and we should all convert.
And that's what Corona's here to tell us.
It's here to tell us it's time to convert.
Muhammad was the way.
It is taking out a lot of jihus.
Yes, it's taking out a lot of fat people.
You hacked the Jewish community first.
Yeah.
Oh, my God.
You could be on to something here.
Are you ready to convert to Islam?
I am ready.
Say it right now.
You just have to say those things.
I am ready to commit to Islam as long as the deal is still there that I get eight wives and plenty of bitches in heaven.
I'm down.
In fact, libertarians should be backing this.
Like, let religions into the free market.
They have...
Wait, are you libertarian?
No, but I'm just saying, like, that should be an argument that they make is like, if you're into the free market, Islam is.
I hate how much libertarians know about shit.
Say again?
I hate how much they know about shit.
It reminds me of you.
No, it's just annoying.
Because I'll be like, nah, that shit don't make any sense.
They're like, well, technically, what's going on in each other?
And I'm like, I got to really know things for this discussion.
Fuck.
It's so much easier when you're like, the left and the right are bad.
Come on, thumb thumbs.
Feelings, not facts.
That's why we feeling's not fact.
That's all libertarians are just a bunch of Ben Shapiros yapping about the free market.
Yeah.
If the left and right had a basketball game, shirts and skins, it would be feelings and facts.
It would be facts to the Republicans and feelings to the Democrats.
Okay, shirts and skins of politics.
Listen, we're not getting away from your accusation or Akash.
No, we have to call you out.
You guys get your new corona and then it attacked your brain a little bit.
Well, I thought it attacked your brain.
I attacked your voice.
You sound like Marlon Brando every time I call you.
He did.
Send a nurse to me.
God bless you, my friend.
I'd be so grateful.
My wife and kids are in the other room.
They won't look at me.
Someone left a horse's head in my bed.
What's happening?
Bro, it attacked you.
Yeah, and I wasn't even at home.
I was alone.
I was quarantined at our studio, and there's no place to walk or anything.
There's just like...
So why was I trying to send a thing to no?
At that point, I was in a, oh, there's a whole story.
And then I was in a hotel in Westchester.
I was all over the place.
Then I was in Ferzi's house for a night.
Then I called another ambulance and I went to the hospital again.
And then I went to a hotel.
And then they found out.
You almost killed this guy.
It was a whole adventure.
I would think I gave that shit to me knowingly, too.
Then I was in my basement.
Then I was in the back.
I was in like, there was like, there was like levels to my recovery.
At what point were you so frustrated with your Corona experience that you felt like it was the right idea to call Joe Rogan and say that Akash knowingly gave you Corona?
At what point were you so upset that you couldn't see your brand new baby and you said, fuck it, I'm killing this guy's career.
Yeah.
No, it was, we were texting.
I think it's great that he knows who you are now.
You're right.
I could have never done that.
It's not like he listens to the potter walker.
It's memorable, though.
Right.
Now it's memorable.
Now memorable.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And I text him.
And I fixed it.
I spoke to my.
He goes, yeah, of course.
I fixed it.
Well, you fix it first.
And then I barely remember it.
No, but I mean, I texted him.
I got everybody called me.
Is it true that Akash knowingly gave Colin Quinn Corona?
I'm like, how did it skip Giannis?
The story just kept on building.
Every new person I talked to, I heard that Giannis woke Colin up at night and that not Yannis Akash woke Colin up at night, was sneezing in his mouth and he was trying to take out Colin Quinn.
Dude, it was real serious.
Accusations mounting up.
I was just fucking quarantined, just getting occasional.
Every time I'm like, all right, look, man, it's okay.
I didn't give this shit to anybody knowingly.
Like, it's fine.
Everybody's going to be okay.
I will get a text like, yo, Rogan thinks you gave this shit to everybody on purpose.
Every time I'm going to be able to do that, wait, Rogan told a lot of people?
Rogan messaged me.
Rogan is a lot of people.
He's all the people.
But Rogan messaged me, and I was like, hold on, I got to get to the bottom of this.
And then people were too like, maybe they were too like nervous or something to tell me, but when any comics would talk to me about it, they'd be like, yeah, I heard Giannis went on like some Brooklyn podcast or something like that.
And then, yeah, he got it and like gave it to everybody.
Oh, my God.
That's you guys at Brooklyn podcast.
I think we're a Brooklyn podcast.
Yeah, we are.
Shit's changed.
You guys are international.
We're out here.
Were you mad at all when you got it?
No, I was mad when you told him that Akash knowingly gave it to people.
When I got it, I was like, I didn't say knowingly.
I said, because you had texted me something.
Don't you dare fucking moonwalk out of this.
No, I'm not moving wise.
I've already apologized for it.
But at some point, you told me, right?
You go, like, you said, like, hey, I wasn't feeling well.
And then I went and got tested.
Yeah, yeah.
After the podcast.
Yeah.
And then once you start tripping on like 102 fever and I was texting with him, it was in your brain.
And yeah, PR2 is not that high, to be honest with you.
Before you said 102, I was like, this guy was dying.
102, I'd be getting that every four days.
Yeah, I've never.
I've never had a 101 right now.
I don't know if I've ever had 102.
You never had 102.
What was the voice thing?
What was that about?
I don't know.
It sounded like you were being strained.
Yeah, I don't.
Dude, I don't remember a lot of it.
It was just like I was sitting there.
I wasn't sleeping.
I couldn't sleep.
My heart was racing.
My sodium levels were dropping.
I was vomiting.
I was diarrhea.
Diarrhea.
And so Rogan messaged me and it was tongue-in-cheek.
I was kind of like, yeah.
He was like, how did you get?
I was like, I gosh, I was like, yeah, I want to blow up India.
Which I do in his defense.
If somebody said, I want to blow up India, I would know it's a joke text.
Also, I was.
Also, I was set to do Rogan while he was still on YouTube.
So I had to postpone that.
I was like, fuck.
Oh, yeah.
I wrote it off you.
But I had no idea that it was going to, you know, I had no idea I was saying something serious that was going to end up affecting Akash.
Yeah.
Of course not.
My career.
Akash's career is over now.
Yeah.
He's ruined.
No, my career is over.
This is going great.
Okay.
So then you come out of Corona, right?
Yeah.
And then you immediately sabotage the history of hyenas.
They're like, I couldn't have killed Flagrant 2.
I got to kill some podcast.
Mayo.
Let's make this happen.
No, what happened?
What happened?
Not true at all.
Yeah, we.
Don't give me some PC shit.
No, we had a good run.
We had a good answer.
That's a three-run.
No, I'm starting.
I'm starting very polished.
We had a good three-year run.
It was a lot of fun.
I'm surprised we made it as long as we made it with how chaotic it is and how different our philosophies are and stuff.
But we had a great time.
We're great friends.
He's moving on to other stuff.
I have long days, which I'm very excited about.
It's fun.
I'm working with Jesse again, my old friend.
We created all the characters and did ditch films with.
So that's fun.
And it just came to a point where it just got too hectic.
And instead of sacrificing the quality of the podcast, we just decided, hey, let's just do other things.
And who knows what happens in the future?
So let's rate that media train response, guys.
What do you guys think?
I didn't like it.
It's not hyenas.
It wasn't hyenas.
And the spirit of hyenas, buddy, let it rip.
Yeah, I think you got to let it rip, dude.
There's nothing to let rip.
That's it.
That was it.
That's it.
Nothing else.
That's it.
That's it.
It got chaotic.
I could just say it got chaotic.
I mean, they were making good money on Patreon.
Buddy, they had to walk away from that good money.
I was plenty.
If you think I'd ever walk away, that was the only thing I had going.
So I was like, I'm not walking away from that.
But then you did.
Yeah.
I mean, you know.
Wait, are you saying you say, wait a minute, wait a minute.
You picked up on that?
I picked up on that too.
That was good.
It looks like it wasn't a Giannis Papa's decision.
Is that what you're trying to say?
I'm not saying it wasn't.
It was a mutual decision.
We came to a point.
You know, when you just mutually agreed, you know, Chris was going to make the decision.
Do you know when you get to a point where you just know it's time?
It's just, you never got to that point.
Nope.
I've stayed in relationships way too long.
There gets to a point, like some relationships are made to go the distance.
Yep.
And some of them are like, you know, the ones you really like.
Webbing, though, webbing, webbing.
Yeah, like you guys.
Yeah.
You guys are going the distance.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's love.
Yeah.
It's work, though.
Yeah.
It is work.
It's work.
It takes work.
It takes work.
It takes communication.
Even with my wife, we're going to be together forever.
It takes work, takes communication.
And maybe.
But what was lacking in the hyenas?
There was the work.
There was the communication.
There was problems.
I don't want to really dig in, but I've already almost killed you once, so I don't know if I want to go through it.
But I really want to, because we're bullshit responders.
Like we sniff it out.
Like we don't sniff out money.
We sniff out bullshit.
So our instinct is to dig in and excavate the truth.
Because we love both of you guys.
Yeah.
Truly.
And let the record show, you know, Akash and I had a conversation.
Yeah.
And it was basically, how do we save hyenas?
I, I, yeah, I legit texted him like we got to.
So we thought, you know, and I called you and I called Chrissy and I was like, why don't we try to save this?
Maybe we could talk this out.
Maybe we could work through this.
This is a fun podcast.
Everybody in the community seems to enjoy it.
Yes.
I don't think you guys were close to where you could have gone.
I think you were very popular within the comedy community and within like the comedy adjacent community, but you hadn't reached that, you know, casual level where like even the casuals know about it.
So I saw a lot more growth for it.
And Ah gosh, and I was like, yo, let's step in here.
You know, let's see if we can use a little bit of goodwill and muscle and make this thing happen.
And then both of you guys were stuck in your chemistry.
Great chemistry is rare.
I think you guys had it.
Yeah.
Great chemistry.
And that's where I was also like, aside from loving him individually, together, great chemistry is so rare.
I always want to preserve that as my.
Do we have to make Chrissy's show bomb on TV so he has to come back and do his TV will do that for you, but we can help.
Should we do it?
Should we try to drive the ratings down far enough?
I think the only thing.
We have to remove everything from Chrissy's life where he has to come back to you.
Yeah.
I think if Akash can get Corona and give it to Chrissy, then we can even it out.
Even length.
I can do that.
Yes.
I can do that.
If not, Mark, Mark will get it.
Yeah, and we need a carrier.
And it takes a lot.
It's going to take a lot to give it to him.
He's very resistant.
What would have kept it going?
What would have kept the show going?
Is there a thing, maybe?
I think what did you need to keep it going?
Oh, great question.
Fucking question.
That's what I do for a living.
You got to answer that.
That's what I do for a living.
You know what I mean?
What's wrong when you write it?
Simple as that.
You know my history.
I come from the internet.
I feel like that I'm dedicated to, I'm dedicated to the thing that you guys are doing right here.
Yeah.
What I'm dedicated to.
I spent three years completely focused and dedicated to that.
So it's like, I think I know where I made my mistake because when I strayed from that.
How'd you stray?
I just started, you know, I wanted to get the half hour.
I wanted to get into it.
I was in Hyena for Hyenas.
Before Hyena.
He's saying he had a great show.
I took a show down here in Miami for a year that went nowhere.
I took AOL two-point lead, which was great money.
And I was interviewing athletes.
You were looking for the industry to validate.
I was looking.
Yeah, I was doing that.
I was, you know, me and Nate were friends.
Don't do that.
Don't just do that.
I'm going to buy a Ferrari.
Yeah.
But I recommend you not doing that.
No.
It's the 348.
But you might get the 355.
You did it by building this and then doing it on your terms.
Foreigns, bro.
I might get a Porsche too, dude.
It's not, it is worth it.
But don't fuck with the corporations.
Yeah.
No.
Networks are bad with that.
Networks are horrible.
Unless you want to drive nice cars.
Yeah.
Advice For Podcasters In General00:15:46
I mean, yeah.
I mean, you know, but you did it.
You built something first fully.
Yes, yes.
And then I tease.
I tease.
Obviously, I love what you've done, and I've always admired what you've done.
We've had these conversations off airstyle.
So you were committed to the internet.
You committed to YouTube.
And did you feel like because of the opportunities Chris was getting, that that infringe on your guys' ability to like lean into the internet?
No.
It was, I think the focus was scattered.
The focus started going a lot of places.
And, you know, I don't know how much you could keep up the quality of something when the focus is all over the place.
Got you.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I think that's possible.
You know, but at the same time, as you guys grow, you're going to get new opportunities.
Yeah.
And you got to take advantage of them.
Yeah.
You know what I mean?
Like, I see, yeah, I see how you thrived on the internet and I witnessed it in real time.
And it was like really exciting for me as like a young comic, seeing somebody like take ownership in what they did.
It was like super inspirational for me, you know?
And I'm very grateful that I got to witness it because it made me realize there was a possibility for myself to do something like that.
Like I didn't have to fucking puck her up every time I was at the cellar or pucker up at these fucking stupid events.
So it was great.
I would say it's directly responsible for your success.
Yeah.
That's what I would say.
Yeah.
I think I just said that.
Yeah, but you're giving, you're doing, you're going PC about it.
I mean, I would go.
No, I was inspired by you.
Yeah.
Do you know what I mean?
It let me know that there was a way to do it, you know, 100%.
And so I think that's great.
But I also think that like there are different strengths that can fit into different parts.
Like I think Chrissy, I think he will flourish.
Like if Chrissy was born 10 years before, he would be the biggest star on TV.
Yes.
He is built for, and this is not a criticism, it is a compliment, but he is built for an industry structure.
Because you can put him in so many different slots and he will succeed, right?
He's a very different character, but you know how Zach Galifanakis just takes over anything he's in as himself.
Yeah.
Chrissy can do that with his personal.
But he can like, I could have him host the fucking bachelor and he's going to have fun with it.
Yeah.
Or you could have him do maybe a character in a TV show, like the Joey character in Blossom.
You know what I mean?
And like he could have those different things.
So it is weird that you guys are maybe being pulled in different directions, but I think that the directions you're being pulled in actually suit yourself better.
Totally.
And I think that's why it came to a natural end.
But why does it have to end?
Because we were wild.
We were very wild.
We said whatever.
And you couldn't be as wild because you could be as wild, but he couldn't be as wild because he has these corporations.
I'm sure that's the way he felt.
And you're doing a podcast with Sal.
He got cursed there.
He's got to say poop instead of shit.
You know what I mean?
So I assume.
Is there no cursing on the podcast with Sal?
There's no cursing on it.
No.
No cursing.
Not allowed to be a cursor.
That's the saddest news I've heard.
They don't curse.
The whole time.
They don't.
I'll be honest.
I'm still impressed.
Yeah.
Because I never watched it and thought, wow, they're not cursing.
Like when I see the clips on Instagram, I never noticed they weren't cursing.
Yeah.
Righteous and Ratchet.
Doughboy used to do that.
That's another one.
Righteous and Ratchet.
They don't curse, but you don't notice that they're not cursing.
Interesting.
So he felt a little bit conflicted.
You guys leaned into being wild.
And then these other things that he was doing stopped his ability to be wild.
I don't want to speak for him, but those two things seem like they're at odds.
But you're a wild boy.
I'm always wild.
I go too far all the time.
Yes.
Case in point, texting Joe Rogan.
Texting Jeff Rogan.
Case in point when I post.
Maurice is too much.
Even when I posted, which I thought was funny, but I go out.
That was wrong.
Yeah.
It's not funny at all.
I thought it was funny.
It was a picture of me as Hitler.
Yeah.
That's kind of funny.
It was quite funny.
It's funny.
Yeah.
That's pretty cool.
But it's funny, but it's...
I understand we're out of context.
You can't say it's not funny.
It's not funny.
Yeah, that's why.
Why is it funny?
There was context.
Chris nicknamed you the Fuhrer, and it was funny.
Our fans thought it was funny.
Yeah, but if you just have a picture of Hitler, there's no context.
I get it.
Within the comedy world, he's X, Y, you can see this guy is racist.
He wants to kill people.
I am wrong.
How about that?
I'm wrong.
I make mistakes all the time.
Is this the weekly combo during History Hyenas?
I mean, he was, Chris was known as the wild one on our show.
Yes.
So he was known as the wild one.
Yes.
So he was, we were kind of like Ren and Stimpy.
We were kind of like Beefus and Butthead.
Yeah.
You know, I was like the one, I was like, you know, thought I was smart, but I'm stupid.
And he was just like the wild one that was like, yeah, yeah, just kind of, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah.
So it's like, if we were a cartoon, we'd be like Ren and Stimpy or Beefus and Butthead.
And he was the wild one.
He was the one I constantly had to be like, Chris, I don't know if you could say that.
So he was known kind of as the wild one.
Right.
Until you got on Instagram.
Huh?
No, until I got on Twitter.
And then when you got on Twitter.
Twitter.
Yeah.
Twitter is where I got you.
So many, like, you're so verbose that it's like, you can't even notice it.
I just do what I want.
But when you just post a picture of Schultz Hitler, then the wildness is clear.
That's just, yeah.
But, you know, I don't go into it going, I'm trying to hurt Schultz.
I just realized bringing this up, I'm going to have thousands of pictures of me.
The fact that we brought this up and I even give a little bit of pushback, that's all it's going to be.
They're going to take every picture of me waving goodbye to somebody and throw a fucking mustache on it.
It's going to be bad for me, but it's okay.
Yeah.
So yeah, you guys have this, You reach this kind of like uh impasse where you can't be you, he can't be him.
I kind of feel like it was it was headed that way.
That's the beauty of having no success.
That's what a lot of people don't realize.
It's like when you have no success, you have the freedom to do anything.
It's free.
Homeless people say whatever they want.
Nobody's canceling the homeless.
That's a good point, right?
They're just cursing, saying the n-words, screaming at people, chasing chicks on the streets.
Okay, but they're homeless.
They've got nothing to lose.
What are you going to take away from them?
Right.
Once you get something to lose, that's where we find out who really wants to be in the game.
You know what I mean?
That's one of the things that we even said on the pod where it's like, if we're going to be flagrant, we're flagrant whether I have a Netflix special, we're flagrant whether Akash has a TV show.
We have to be committed to this.
Yeah.
And I understand how if he, Chrissy, wanted to do those other things and you didn't, how that could be a conflict of interest.
Yeah.
But I can't blame Chrissy for wanting to do those things.
Who blames him?
No, you can't blame anyone for anything they want to do.
Also, you guys got, sorry to interrupt, but like, also, when people got kids, kids, exactly.
It's like, it's a totally different thing.
You're going to lean into the thing that puts food in your baby's mouth.
Yeah.
In your decision, in your situation, that's continuing to be a wild boy on the internet like you do.
And in Chrissy's, he's probably like, nah, this is doing these network shows where I get this guaranteed money.
I don't got to worry about these different things.
I don't know how to be any other way.
And so I realized, and then I realized I was like, I can't, I can't do it the other way.
So why am I, why would I even think about it ever?
I can't do it.
I've done it.
I don't like showing up to a studio and there's a woman waiting for me to walk me into this room and then they do makeup before.
I just don't like, it just doesn't interest me.
And then I can't say this.
I can't say that.
I just, you know, I want to be free to make mistakes.
I like to make mistakes because that's where you come up with shit.
Yeah.
Once you know, I mean, we comedians have, we have like, that's why TV shows don't work is because they have like a 10% success rate.
We have like a 90% success rate because we have to.
Yeah.
Because our lives depend on it.
And when we make one mistake, they come after us and go, look, he made one mistake.
But it's really like, yeah, but I did 90 good ones.
Yeah.
You know, what if you guys just did a Patreon only?
We discussed that and then we made the decision not to do that.
We made that decision.
No, son, man up.
Why are you getting back to your corona voice?
It's on board, but it didn't work.
There was nothing we could do at this point.
You know, here's what also sucks: you can't probably say everything because then, you know, Chris isn't here to whatever.
I can't speak for Christmas.
But then also, I can't.
I can't speak for Chris.
I can't.
Luckily, you don't have to.
Chris, come on in.
Come on in.
But then we also can't be like, oh, I don't think he legally can do this podcast anymore.
Oh, probably.
True TV was like, yeah, you can't do that.
And no, I'm just kidding.
Look, everyone knows how funny Chrissy is.
Cover it up, cover it up.
But here's what I'm going to say.
We can't even, if you can't be fully honest, we can't check you on shit.
Because all these things are, there's two sides.
There's two sides.
We're getting part of one side.
There's two sides to the story, but I also can't call you on your podcast.
But here's what you could have done.
I'm in my 40s.
I've been alive for long enough to know that the bickering and all that stuff is pointless because when that starts to happen, you just know, all right, this is time.
Yeah.
It's time.
You guys are both mature enough to do that.
It's just time.
Yeah.
It's time.
It's time.
We did like seven years' worth of content together with the Patreon and everything.
And it's like, we're two crazy comics.
We're chaotic comics.
And, you know, things we started to have conflicts of interest and philosophies and getting two comics to work together for that long.
I think the successes that we make that long.
Isn't it just as two people grow, you're not going to be the same person you were seven years ago.
Neither one of you are.
If you are, that's stupid.
You didn't accomplish anything.
But as you grow, you got to fight to get it back to the center.
And in my mind, he wasn't trying to do any network shit, but I understood like, yo, this guy is doing a ton of different things.
So I'll hold this down as much as I can.
I'll bring people in, give them Corona, take out their podcast.
We will grow.
I'll do what I need to do.
You go do that.
Yeah.
That's where I was thinking, and I don't know the full story, but I'm like, oh, if Chrissy wanted to do that, couldn't Giannis be like, yo, Chrissy, go handle that.
I'll try to take as much of his bandwidth as I can.
Here's the difference, I think.
I think you guys brought this to fruition, where it's a powerhouse, where it's like we were very much at the beginning of the climb.
And I think you want to kind of, at that point, that's when you really want to double down and get to the point where when you're negotiating for those other things, you can make yourself look good in those other things and kind of dictate your own destiny because you have the power and the leverage to do so.
Yeah, you guys got opportunity too quick.
Say that?
You got opportunities too quick.
I didn't get any opportunities.
Yeah, I admit like the same way that you say we make decisions.
Yeah.
I'm using the royal you.
No, but like maybe Chrissy got the opportunities too quick.
You know, like we didn't get Netflix until way after we were a significant podcast.
Right.
So we were in the position to go, nah, this is what we do.
Once the rock comments on your shit, you're going to be able to get them to do what you want to do.
And you don't have to sacrifice the way you look because it can hurt you.
You go do a show, it can hurt you.
Yeah.
It could hurt your shit.
Yeah.
It hurt your brand.
You go do some fucking dumb show and they say do it this way.
Talk.
And then people start, your fans start hating you for it.
And your fans in this era are everything.
Yeah.
They're everything.
Now, I think you get to dictate to your fans more than you realize.
Like you have hours to talk to them.
I don't know, bro.
We just went through a breakup.
And if you listen to what the fans are saying, I don't know.
Yeah, because you stopped talking.
That's a whole issue.
We did podcasts together since you do podcasts, but none sit, like they've all been banked.
So you can't talk to the fans directly and say, yo, for hours on end, like you could as an individual, hey, here's the deal.
Here's what it is.
They'll eventually understand.
I could come on Flagrant 2 and beat around the Bush, though.
I can do that.
But you flew in to beat around the Bush.
This guy flew in for one night to not give us answers.
Welcome to Bush Gardens, baby.
I'll tell you this right now.
If this was a show on any network, I wouldn't fly down for it.
Sunday.
I flow down for this because it's fucking a dope show.
Thank you.
Yeah, it's a dope show.
And what you were saying before about getting away from your wife and kid.
Remember the podcast?
Yeah.
You're like, oh my God, doing a little cocaine, bro.
I haven't slept, bro.
Nobody sleeps in Miami, bro.
Everyone here is just a professional sex worker.
Nobody has any real jobs.
Different version of the channel.
Yeah, he wants to cover some shit up.
He just keeps talking.
I love it.
I love it, man.
Bro.
Well, we support you, man.
Yeah, the tricky thing, I think, with a podcast is.
Oh, I knew I was getting railroaded as soon as I walked in here and Schultz didn't make eye contact with me for like five minutes.
I knew it.
The insight goes both ways.
Comic, I know.
I'm like, oh, we're about to have some shit.
We're going to start with Akash's Rona.
Then we're going to chapter two.
Schultz is taking his shit going chapter one.
We're going to start with the Rona.
Chapter two, we're going to make him talk shit about Chrissy.
I asked Chris to be here.
I called him yesterday.
He was in Phoenix with his family.
But I was like, I will fly you in.
And then we just have the reuniting episode.
And then literally, I'm thinking, which was Akash's original idea was, what if both of you sit down and you're having so much fun on the mic and then we get fucking.
We come from a good place.
I don't want the, oh, let's start beef between Janice and Chrissy.
You got to do your job.
And there's nobody that understands that more than me.
No, but I agree legit.
What do you mean by that?
You couldn't not address this.
This is flagrant too.
You couldn't come in and be like, so Yannis, tell me about how the baby is.
That's the most interesting thing in your life.
Yes.
I don't think I've ever asked about your baby.
Yeah, no.
Because you're so special fucking subscribed.
All the Patreon numbers.
All the views.
You're good.
Now, what can we do with that?
Can you start a podcast with your baby?
Make an Instagram.
She's going to sell the Bluetooth.
She's proved it works.
She's proved it works.
But point is, yeah, listen, I obviously want to have honest conversations with you.
This is a conversation we would have and we did have.
I dig it.
Before we get to that.
We're going to try to get y'all back together.
You guys are great individually, but you're fucking great.
Here's the thing.
If Chrissy was here, we would have tons of fun.
Yeah, of course.
We hired you to Burke Kreischers.
We had tons of fun.
Our final episode, after we knew we were breaking up, we had tons of fun.
Once we get cooking, we get cooking.
The team is me and Chrissy.
It's what it is.
And, you know.
And maybe we get it in the future.
I guess what I'm trying to say, this is like a good thing, like good advice for podcasters in general is that like, and you do have more control than a lot of people realize.
And I think that's what Akash was pointing at.
But like, however you decide to brand yourself, right, is going to be the expectation that your listeners have.
And then if you shift from that expectation, they will feel misled, but you are allowed to evolve.
Yeah.
Like the Breakfast Club started out as one of the wildest shows in history and then has started to interview presidents.
Yeah.
You know what I mean?
Like they've completely evolved.
And your fans evolve with you as long as you tell them, hey, this is where we're going with things.
So I think that I think that honest conversation with them, and maybe you wouldn't want to go there.
Maybe he wouldn't.
Maybe both of you guys wouldn't want to meet in the middle and that's totally fine as well.
But you guys do have more power and control in terms of your narrative than you'd think.
I think we were already evolving.
We already evolved over the three years.
I think it's just, you know how it is, man.
Whatever you put in, you get out.
Shit going in, shit going out.
Commitment, whatever energy you put in is what you get out.
And when things, when other things start pulling you all over the place, it kind of sacrifices, you have to sacrifice sometimes what kind of got you there.
Fans Evolving With You00:05:21
And I don't know, man.
Can't do that.
Because we were so busy and I was doing so many different things and Akash really does nothing.
Yeah.
So I can hold it down.
But you can relate.
But you got me.
But for real, if Akash isn't dedicated to the podcast like he was, and obviously Mark and Alex, but when Mark and I were working on the Netflix thing, Alex and Akash had to hold down the podcast.
And even from the beginning, as things were pulling me aside, like I've always had that conversation with Akash.
He was like, yo, I need you to fucking hold this down.
Make sure we're good.
You're Patreon and everything.
I also was going broke.
But I said to him, like, yo, you got a lot of shit going on.
Handle that.
I'll take as much of the podcast as I can, built a Patreon, figured out all the fucking tears on the phone with those guys.
Like, you just kind of, all right, if we want this to work, let's make this work.
I believe in this.
He believes in this.
You're busy.
Go be busy.
I'll make this work.
You know what it is.
There's two sides.
There's two sides to every story.
Right.
There's two narratives.
I think maybe one is more guessed about.
But at the end of the day, what's important is you know when those things happen that it's just time.
It's just time.
Yeah.
There's things that like you just can't talk.
There's no reason to talk about them.
It just becomes a thing where you're going like, I didn't like this.
I didn't like this.
This is that.
This is that.
Probably none of it's true.
It's just two people's interests kind of started wanting to evolve in different directions.
I won't just say it's just him also.
Like he has his thing where he wants to do what he wants to do.
He's got a new family, whatever.
And then there's also things I want to do and how I want to be and what I want to explore.
So it's probably both.
It's probably both.
And then it maybe manifested itself in some, of course there's going to be some bicker.
Everyone knows that.
I mean, our fans are going like, we don't buy this.
Of course there was some bickering.
Yeah.
Of course that happened.
You know what I mean?
It's just, we didn't high five and say, you know what?
We're just about to blow up.
Let's stop.
Yeah.
Okay.
So like, you know, I'll admit that much, but, you know, you go, you know, let me have some retro.
Let me have some retrospective wisdom about this at the present right now.
Yeah.
Let me put myself in five, 10 years.
What am I going to be saying about this?
I'll be saying it was time.
That's what I'll be saying.
So I'm not going to, I'm not going to, I'm not going to partake in the bickering and all that.
I'll just go, you know what?
It was time.
And I'll just focus on the things I want to do.
Well, we love you.
We love Chrissy.
Does that make sense?
No, no.
I actually stopped listening.
It makes sense to Alex.
I sort of got it.
Well, the second you started mentioning five and 10 year plans, I was like, I don't know what we're talking about right now.
I didn't bring Boca Columbia.
When did you tap out?
When did you tap out?
Something about bickering.
He said bickering, and then I just started thinking about his voice.
Can you get a nurse?
Anything for a gorilla to show God for a pussy.
Bro, I'm a pussy.
We saw.
Yeah, no, I'm a pussy.
We tried, though, but I was also very sick.
But we tried.
You were great.
You know that the nurses were also very great.
And we already, we talked, we had a whole talk about it on hyenas.
Yeah.
But we wanted people to actually listen.
Yeah, you wanted some people.
You wanted the black community to be here.
Exactly.
Right.
And by the way, can I ask you a question?
Do black people drink Coca-Cola?
Do they drink it?
Yeah.
You were almost black as a kid.
Yes, I wanted to be.
Okay.
You committed fully.
You got shot.
I was committed to it.
Yeah.
Okay.
I was committed to it.
So do black people drink Coca-Cola?
I think they do.
Al.
Waymore.
We got one on Twitter and way more than they drink.
No, no.
We said black people drink Coca-Cola.
Alex came out of his ass yesterday or last week.
It was a reason.
Stop it with this reason.
Alex just out of nowhere.
I think he was bored or something.
He just goes, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Black people don't drink Coca-Cola.
Like we only drink Pepsi.
Blanket statement, black people do not drink Coca-Cola.
And I had people like DMing me.
Like, he does not speak on behalf of the black community.
Like, we love a Coca-Cola.
And they were spelling out Coca-Cola.
Like, Coke dash.
Wow.
Uh, dash.
Coca-Cola.
Yeah.
Like, that's how serious black people are about Coca-Cola, Al.
So I'm going to need you to make sure you fact check all your black shit.
Okay.
That's why there's a question mark at the end.
What's that?
Pepsi, the only choice for African Americans?
Yeah.
Well, you know, the page needs fucking donations.
That's how whack this article is.
Please donate with PayPal our shitty nonsense article.
Drug glass of Coca-Cola.
It was first marketed to black people as the alternative to Coca-Cola.
But Coca-Cola only marketed to white people.
No, but Coke went for white people.
I know, but so that's what I'm saying.
They came after and they're like, oh, shit, they're just like not even acknowledging this group of people.
I'm going to go after them.
So it's not going to be a lot of fun.
I'll try to make it start out.
But trying to wheeze the situation.
So Pepsi is like the Subaru of sodas.
I guess.
Like you know how Subaru went after dykes.
Yeah.
Because they were like, dykes drive cars.
Yeah.
But then there's not enough dykes.
And now he's like, all right, everybody.
Like, can drive them.
I don't have a Subaru.
You still have a Subaru, son.
You still have a Subaru.
Actually, you got a fake Subaru.
What do you mean?
You got a wannabe Subaru.
Kick car Subaru.
You got a Kick Car Subaru.
He got the Kia Subaru.
They're great in the snow, Subarus.
What?
They're great in the snow.
Are they?
Yes.
We're in Miami, baby.
Yeah, you don't have to worry about that, bro.
Fake Subaru And Kick Cars00:06:28
Uh-uh, bro.
Absolutely nothing.
All right, listen.
Well, while we have you here, is there anything else you want to say before we get into some of these combos, my favorite?
The actual things, though, I can't handle another PC answer.
No, I think we got it.
We got it.
I think we got it.
We just want to make sure that you could say your piece.
Yes.
You know?
I said my piece.
All right.
I love you, honest.
I love you, too.
I want everybody to go check out Yanni Long Days.
Please.
I watch them.
Do you?
On Instagram, yeah.
Yeah, for a couple seconds.
I'll give you up until it says, Do you want to keep watching?
And then it.
Maybe when you click, when it goes from the big?
Yeah, it goes a little bit.
I'll give you up to there.
And sometimes you'll say some wild shit right before the thing stops.
And I'm like, this motherfucker is going to make me press a button.
I just want to scroll.
And I'm out here pressing buttons.
I'll keep watching, but I do watch them.
Thank you, Seth.
Yeah, I'm a big supporter of Giannis Papa.
I appreciate it.
I got it.
Yeah, and I always appreciate it.
All you've done, I appreciate it.
I haven't done anything.
You helped.
You've helped.
It's a fact.
When we did hyenas, I think a large portion of our fan base at the beginning was Flei Hootsuit fans.
Well, that is not us.
That's you guys having a great podcast.
And then people recognizing that.
I take no credit for that.
Unlike some people.
I love you, and I can't wait to see what you guys both do.
And I mean that 100% sincerely.
Now, I do want to talk about a couple stories.
And you're an opinionated man here.
So it'd be good to get your opinion on these things.
The first thing that came to my attention, which I think was absolutely mind-bogglingly terrifying, is that China has been anal swabbing U.S. diplomats.
That's an act of aggression, right?
They said it was a mistake.
Come on, bro.
They bent us over and they fucking penetrated us.
I think they're just fucking with us at this point.
That's what I'm saying.
They're just fucking with.
They're just.
And then they said, oops.
Oh, my bad.
Clinical error.
Like, they make errors.
Like, yeah.
They never admit to fault, right?
Even with Corona, they're like, no, we did everything right.
And when it comes to bending us over and shoving shit in our ass, all of a sudden it's an error.
No error with Corona.
Not a single thing they did wrong with Corona, right?
Everything perfectly done right, but they bent us over.
They made us come into their fucking offices.
They bent us over a table and they shoved shit in our ass.
You think they think all American people look alike?
And they're like, oh, we don't know.
I think I'm confused about that.
Maybe Chinese people are like, oh, all Americans look alike to us, too.
You know, diplomats and some people.
You know, white people.
No, no, no.
All Chinese people look alike.
No, but I don't understand what you're saying.
Maybe they didn't know they were diplomats.
Maybe it's not these some regular American jokes.
No, they're saying they shouldn't have done it at all.
Yeah.
The anal swab thing.
Oh, no.
They were anal swabbing mad people.
And then when the diplomats came, I see what you're saying.
They were like, oh, we didn't know that they were supposed to get a different security.
Or they were sure they analyze their own too?
Look, they want to.
I don't care what you do to your own.
You're not going to stick nothing in an American's ass, yo.
They already did.
Yeah, they did.
Yeah, they did.
They do about it.
They can get in our proverbial ass.
Dead ass.
If Biden put a nuke off right now and it was like, well, they were sticking things in our ass, you in a little party, you'd be like, that's my motherfucking guy.
That's my motherfucking.
We'd get nuked right back.
Nah, they can't reach us, bro.
They're reaching us, bro.
How are they going to reach us?
They have a billion of them like ants.
They'll build the bridge to a place where they can fucking launch it.
They will build a human bridge and launch it.
Yeah, I think we can nuke them first, dude.
Dude, have you ever seen them fucking do like, you know, fucking Dance Dance Revolution?
They know how to hook on to each other.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
They fucking hook onto each other.
They can plug in like they're magical people.
They can plug into each other's chassis.
They do the ass and they do a human centipede like that.
They build a bridge and they'll launch it close.
But what are they going to launch it off of?
Off of the fucking last dude who's hanging off the bridge.
You're going to launch a nuke right off the last.
Yeah, dude.
They're fucking, they're tricky like that, man.
They named it TikTok because they're fucking with us too.
It's called TikTok because they know we're at our end.
They're going TikTok, America.
TikTok, TikTok.
So we should.
Taiwan, they took fucking Hank.
Our economy's collapsing.
Soon, American women are going to move to China to open fucking nail salons.
It's over.
It's a reversal of it's a reversal of destiny.
Yeah, they're going to be in there going $5, $5.
And then the Chinese are going to be, there's going to be some Chinese comic who's going to go viral going, have you ever gone into an American store?
They go, $5.
They pronounce their R's.
They're fucking weird.
I think they're talking shit about us in their own language.
There will be a Chinese Angela Johnson who, and then there'll be a bunch of comics going, she's not that funny, but she'll be making millions of dollars.
There'll be a reversal of roles.
Really?
Yeah, they fucking let's move there and surrender, dude.
It's no.
Don't you want to fight back, Yannis?
No, I want to learn how to talk their language.
I want to learn their.
You're never going to.
That shit is too complicated.
Just make noises and fucking learn how to do puzzles.
If you could solve fucking stick and dot puzzles, you can speak it.
Didn't we just have a 30-minute conversation about how you only want to do what you want to do?
And the second China's going to be a little bit more scared.
I want to surrender.
I'll learn Mandarin.
Fuck it.
Let's do puzzles.
Sudoku?
Great.
Dude, they already have taken over.
No, bro.
They've taken over.
Snooks.
The only problem is nukes.
We got nukes, but you can't, you can't.
You can't.
You got to start with a littler China.
No.
You just got to go in.
Dude, you fucking.
Vietnam.
Run it back.
The sequel.
No, for real, dude.
I'm not bending over, man.
Enough of that.
Yeah.
Enough of that, dude.
Yeah.
But why are you so willing?
Because they won.
No, they didn't win.
How'd they win?
They said Corona.
They let us know who's boss.
They let us know who's boss.
Trump was like, I'm going to put all these tariffs.
We're going to fuck with you.
And they're like, oh, yeah.
And then they just flick a virus into the West.
Yeah.
And just like, they were party.
Did you see Times Square?
Their equivalent to Times Square called Ink Ha-Dong in Wuhan?
Did you just make that up?
Yeah, totally.
Yeah, it comes from like, their language comes from like somewhere.
Yeah.
And do you see what they were doing?
That's how you sounded with Corona.
Your boy Dove was like, I'm trying to do it.
I'm trying to get you.
I'm trying to get.
We got four nurses in the area.
They won't go up there.
I'm talking to Schultz.
I grew up with Shultz.
He's one of my best friends.
I'll do anything for them.
Now, Booby, what do you need?
Bubby.
Booby, what do you need?
Have you tried the chicken soup?
That's what my grandmother used to do.
Just take chicken soup.
Booby Needs Chicken Soup00:15:28
You're going to be okay.
Okay, booby.
You're going to be fine.
Did you get this from Makasha?
No, you got to stay away from those people.
There's a lot of diseases.
That part of the world, they don't wash their hands.
They kill rats with their hands, booby.
You ever see those?
You ever watch that documentary Rats?
Like, they go to England, India, and there's just a dude in the street killing them with his bare hands.
You saw him call it England.
I almost called it England.
I almost called it England.
That's fine.
I get it.
I get it.
We just stopped calling England.
Yeah.
And it all went downhill from there.
You know?
Okay.
No.
So you really are ready to bend over for China?
You would let them analy you?
No, no.
You would let them anal swab you?
You go over there and they're like, bend over.
It's time for your anal swab.
And you would say, okay, and take it.
So fucking Louis.
I'm ready.
I think they're despicable, dude.
I'm ready.
Horny.
Despicable.
You took a show at Netflix after you said Netflix was over.
You're calling me despicable.
Hey, hey, hey, hey.
Ferrari.
Or a borse.
We driving big shit, baby.
You know, Miami's the only fucking city where you'll see like a purple Lamborghini outside of a restaurant and then you'll see, you'll go follow that dude in that purple Lamborghini.
Like, where does he live?
He lives with his mom.
He lives with his mom or he just sleeps in the Lamborghini that.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah.
That's why I'm getting a fake car, though.
Yeah.
What do you mean?
I'm going to get a fake one.
What do you mean a fake one?
I'm not buying a fake car.
From China.
You traitor.
No, not from China.
American-made.
German cars.
No, American cars are fake cars.
Yeah.
No, but for real.
I'm going to buy a fake one.
I looked it up.
So I want like this 19 like 65 Porsche, right?
It's a speedster.
Yeah.
And they happen to be like $300,000 when they're real.
And then this guy tells me, he goes, no, you can get like a replica of it.
And I go, what's that?
And he goes, a company that's reputable just builds a new version of it.
And then you put a new engine in and like new parts and stuff.
You can actually have like AC and like power windows, but the shell looks like the old Porsche that you like.
And maybe it's 1956 or something like that.
And I was like, yeah, I was going to do all that to it anyway.
There's no way I'm paying $300,000 for a car.
I was like, how much is that?
I'm thinking it's going to be like $200,000 or $100,000.
They're like, oh, you can probably get it done for like $40,000.
I'm like, hold on.
I can have the car that looks the way I want it to look with all the new shit because there's no way I'm going to be driving my fucking wife around with 1950s brakes.
Like, would you put your girl this pregnant in a car with 1950s brakes?
Definitely not.
You're going to upgrade all the shit anyway.
I was like, so wait, I can get the thing.
I'm not a fucking car enthusiast.
I just want the shit to look beautiful because they look beautiful.
They made these beautiful cars back in the day.
I was like, dude, there's no way in hell I'm going to spend top dollar when it's not even the shit I want.
I'm not trying to impress some like fucking loser that's into cars.
Right.
I'm trying to impress the losing diamond that knows nothing about cars.
But hell yeah, so I'm going to get my kit car.
It's called a kit car.
Nice.
Yeah.
I didn't even know you could do that.
100%.
I don't think you can do it with like the, like if, for example, you get like an old Ferrari or something like that, you might want to get the actual car.
Yeah.
But like from the 1950s, a fucking Porsche?
Yeah.
Do you know what I mean?
That's a German car.
I can't support 1950s Germany.
Yeah.
Well, they had closed.
Clean it up by then, right?
Germany's fine.
Yeah.
40s Germany is a problem.
But it was still lingering.
It's not like you like stopped being hateful.
No, they stopped.
I think they got the message.
Yeah.
They got the message, but it didn't go away.
It's not like they saw like Jewish people and they're like...
The wall was still up.
The wall was still up.
But they were communist.
Yeah, but that's different.
But you think they just were just like, nah, Jews are cool now.
Like, you think that completely.
While I would buy a car.
They pretended.
They got woke.
I think that's German.
That would be the equivalent of wokeness though.
Like, if there was a social media Germans would be like, here's me with my Jewish friends.
Yeah.
Now, but not 1950s immediately.
1950s, they tried to clean it up quick.
You think you can just snap out and firebomb the shit out of Dresden.
People don't know that.
Like, cause it did it.
It didn't have the big bang that, you know, that we did in Hiroshima.
But we fucking carpet bombed those snow monkeys.
I mean, we fucking carpet bombed them.
I mean, we killed a lot of German.
We sent a message.
Yeah.
We said, don't fuck with the boys.
You got us involved.
We were fucking doing our thing, playing baseball.
Now we're coming over here and showing you what America is.
We can't do that to China.
You too scared, bro?
We can't, bro.
You're just scared, bro.
They got too many of them, bro.
No, they don't.
You got to back up.
We have nukes.
You just wipe them out.
Dude, nukes.
Who?
Austin girls got to eat?
Look at us.
We're too.
We don't want to be soldiers, bro.
No, I would.
I was scared of Corona.
You think I'm going to war?
I would do it, bro.
I would do it.
You ain't doing nothing.
I would do it.
I saw 9-11.
I was like, I'm going to let the boys handle that.
But when I saw anal swabs, when I saw China fucking anal swab U.S. diplomats, it's time to go.
Here's the thing.
Red button.
Here's the thing.
Let's go, Biden.
You got a decent, you're decent with moving hands around.
I've seen you.
Yeah.
But if you got 100, you know, the movies ain't real, bro.
Like, if 100 of them come at you, bro, they'll hop on you.
I'm just in Miami, bro.
I'm going, oh, Miami, bro.
Yo, bro.
Yo, hallelujah, bro.
What happened?
What happened if 100 came to me?
You're going to be swinging and like Godzilla.
Like 100 of them will just fucking climb on you and slowly take you down.
Yeah.
They will slowly overwhelm you.
Yeah.
Like you ever see like a bunch of bees trying to get like a wasp that goes in there and fucks one of the bees up and then they try to, you get try to, you can try to get close to the queen.
Yeah.
They'll swarm you.
What are you not getting about nukes?
They that they have them too.
No, but they don't go far enough.
How do you know, bro?
Are you in the military?
Yes, I know about these things.
It's because the earth spins the other way.
Yeah, you got to go the other way, stupid.
Yo, bro.
They're already, you know, you don't think they got nukes in Chinatown?
They've been colonizing us for years.
Also, trying to tell you, Al thinks they got sleeper cells in Chinatown.
Yeah.
Also, if anybody's listening to this, please do not do any acts of violence on Asian Americans.
No, do not.
It's just jokes.
Please, just jokes.
We're joking around now.
Chinese, Chinese people, like from China.
It is what it is.
In China?
They try to anal swab you, slap that motherfucker in his mouth.
Here's on my behalf.
Here's the thing, in defense of all this stuff going on, it wasn't even Asian people.
You want to know what the truth is of how Corona got here?
What is the truth?
The fitness industry.
Pushing back against the pharmaceutical industry.
You would say that after gaining 40 pounds, I did.
I took it off and put it right back on.
Losing weight.
That's what it is, the fitness industry.
Right?
I love how your voice changed.
The pharmaceuticals.
Suffocating.
The pharmaceutical industry, check this out.
Pharmaceutical industry has been backing proud fat celebs surreptitiously in order for everyone to have like heart disease problems so they can sell cardiovascular medication.
And this is the fitness industry's pushback before you move on.
Corona.
Do you know what surreptitiously means?
Yeah, you do.
Secretly, I can't do that.
Okay.
I mean, his dad's, he's South Asian.
Of course, he knows the fucking word.
His dad's a doctor or some shit.
Do you like that being called South Asian?
It's actually technical.
I don't notice it, but I don't.
It's a lie.
Bro, Akash is Asian?
Yeah.
I don't like that.
I don't like that at all, dude.
Do you think I'm getting associated with you?
You prefer Sandra?
I am.
You prefer Sandra?
I'm fine with Sandra D.
Yeah.
What is Sandra D?
So he's from a part of the world where there's a lot of sand.
Is there a lot of sand in India?
No, but it's what we're doing.
I'm not sure.
I don't know how you know it anymore.
Sandra D.
I mean, we can bury that shit.
Like I did your fucking podcast.
I really want to.
Welcome back, bro.
See, you don't get used on long days.
You won.
You need this, bro.
You missed this a little bit.
You and Jesse in a room together.
You just spouting off.
I love it.
You need this too.
I need this too.
It's a balance.
You can do long days, but you also need this.
I loved it.
So come to Miami, pussy.
Leave your family.
Move here.
Leave your family.
This is the city you do that.
Let's go.
This is the city you're doing.
You're committing to you.
Stay here.
I'm committed to it.
Okay.
I'm leaving you, babe.
I'm joining Schultz's flagrant army.
Let's go.
Let's go.
Wait, I didn't say go to Miami.
I remember you texting me one day.
You were like, I think I'm moving to Austin, bro.
He told me that today.
Yeah.
Oh, wait.
Are you moving to Austin?
No, no, no.
We're not doing that.
Got you.
No, we're not doing that.
Why not?
Getting a little hacky.
Yeah, but that's a good point.
There's a lot of people moving to Austin, bro.
What is this?
You're not open, Micer.
No.
You don't need to go to Austin.
You come down here to Miami with your people.
Swing that fat Greek dick around.
Well, you know, okay.
Yeah.
That's all you need is complimentary.
You got to move anywhere.
No, dude.
The secrets.
I mean, the statues, all you need to know about Greek penises is in the statues.
What is that?
What is that?
I mean, they're just barely making it, barely peeking over the balls.
Really?
Have you been to a museum?
No.
Yes, you have.
You've seen it.
Yeah, I have seen it.
But what I thought that was is there was like penis envy after the Greeks discovered black people.
No, it's just Greeks just don't have big pieces.
We're showers.
No, but historically, there was like some guy that they said that big dicks were barbaric.
So that they started carving the small dicks into the statues.
And they were just really jealous of the black dicks that they started to see.
That's possible.
No, this is 100% serious because they weren't always small.
If you look at the statues from way back before, there were some decent-sized dicks.
I mean, that's pause.
But then the little dick guys who always are the ones in charge, because obviously small dude, little dick overcompensate, you get in power.
And if you were in power, what would you do?
You'd say, this is the most beautiful dick.
To Miami and keep my operation going.
That's what I'm talking about.
Did I just agree to having a small dick?
Is that why I crossed my legs like this, guy?
Because you can't, yeah.
Yeah, you tricked me.
I like because I sit like that, and it does mean you got a small dick.
And I love when the head just kind of peeks out between the legs just like that because it's nice and cozy in there.
Yeah, I keep the balls below and the head up top.
But you got to get to separate.
Yeah, it's like a sailboat.
I have a ton.
My penis looks small.
It looks like chewing gum in a jufro.
When it's limp, it just kind of looks like that.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
I look like an amputee.
You know, like when a soldier loses an arm and he's got like a nub?
My dick looks like a nub.
That little skin hanging off that.
It looks like a bomb blew off my dick.
That's why you want to go to China, you sell out my dick.
I want to fit it.
Oh, finally.
It works out, does it?
Yes.
We get to the bottom of it.
Yes.
Jesus.
Yes.
Yes.
That is a big bullet.
Makes Akash look even smaller.
You got to put a tiny bullet there.
You're going to take that from this little dick.
Just admit his dick's little.
You can't say nothing back.
I already almost killed the guy.
I won.
I broke his podcast.
You broke it.
Yeah.
I got to say you took everything from him.
I really did.
You did.
You did.
I had him up bunkered up in his fucking studio, quarantined for two weeks, blaming me for shit.
He was losing.
I won.
It's over.
He did win.
But are you back?
But are you?
Are you moving your family to Austin too?
Yeah.
No, you're not.
Yeah.
Unless you tell me not to do it.
I will just tell me not to do it.
Yeah, we're going to do six months here, six months back home.
All right, I'm staying in New York.
That's it.
This is no-brainer, y'all.
It's done.
But Yannis.
Nah, Boston's a great place to raise a fan.
Texas is a great place to raise a fans.
That's what Akash was saying.
New York, man.
What are you doing?
Fucking cold for no reason.
Damn, bro.
Akash does not want you around me, bro.
I love Akash do anything and go back to Greece.
I just look, you guys.
I'm in Miami.
You guys have a different studio.
No, I'm kidding.
You guys got a similar dynamic to me and Chris had, and that's why it works so good.
It's like you're real nice.
Like before, you're going like, that's a great way to.
And you're like going, fuck you.
You ain't moving.
You know, it's kind of like Yang.
You painted yourself as a nice one.
No, I'm the dick.
Okay.
I was saying Chris is the nice one.
I'm the dick.
Because I was going to.
But at least you know what I'm thinking.
Yeah.
Yeah.
At least you always know what I'm thinking.
But no, for real, why would you go to why would you go to Austin?
I like what Joe's doing there, and I just want to be able to.
Besides the fact that it's about to be the epicenter of comedy.
Outside of that.
That's the reason.
What would be the reason to go?
That's the reason.
Just besides the fact that they're literally building the LA comedy scene in Austin without the bullshit that is LA.
Right.
Besides that, awesome thing.
Why else would you go there?
Because the barbecue's good.
Yeah.
Barbecue.
I love country music.
Whoa.
Yeah.
No, no, country music slaps.
Don't talk shit about country music, bro.
I don't like country music.
Whoa, whoa, why?
Name one country.
Name a country singer.
Because you can't name one.
Yes, I can.
Name one.
Dolly Parton.
You're going to tell me Dolly Parton to five.
Yeah.
One of the greatest songwriting bitches of all time.
Luke Bryant, bro.
Luke Bryant.
Luke got some bangers, bro.
Luke got some bangers, bro.
He's fine.
Everybody always says that that's a New York hot take, like country music stupid.
And then nobody in New York got country music.
Every young person who wants to seem like cool and cultured is like, dude, I like every music in the country.
So go ahead.
Fun three slaps, y'all.
Blare off a verse.
Go.
Blare off a verse.
Wake up and teardrops.
They fall down like rain.
I don't know the rest of the words.
What is that?
Yeah, you know three words.
Rascal flats, bro.
But you only know three words.
Bill Vasquez.
We were so close but feeling so far away.
Now I ask you, you fucking care as well.
If I asked you to do a boogie down production song from 1991, you'd know every fucking word.
Not a single word.
Not a single word.
But it could still slap.
Not a single word.
But RB, you'll know every word to usher.
Yeah.
It don't have to be my favorite, but it could still slap.
These are my confessions.
The country's just fucking white RB.
It's no different.
Why's trash?
Have you made RB is trash?
That was a good point, what he just did.
But he said white RB is trash.
Yeah.
Nah, white RB is fire.
That's a good point.
You only have a few standouts.
You guys have a few standouts.
Son, white people started RB.
RB of it is just like...
White people started RB?
Yes, son.
That's a funnier take.
I'm with that one.
White people.
You got me?
Prove it, please.
White people started RB.
That's like saying I'm responsible for the history of hyenas breaking up.
That's how wrong that is.
Wei Shongji.
Wei Shongji.
Nah, white people started RB, bro.
Who, bro?
What does RB stand for?
Rhythming black.
Wait, what?
Oh, you said Red Day Blacks?
Wait, wait, wait, wait.
Are you allowed to say that?
What are y'all talking about?
What were you guys just saying?
I thought I was going with rhythm and blues.
Oh, rhythm and blues.
Yes.
Oh, yeah.
That was a black thing.
That's 100% a black thing.
They figured that shit out first.
But white people got it back.
Elvis took it, yeah.
Elvis bought.
Did Elvis not come through in the clutch?
I mean, some of the country got blues.
Y'all still kind of figuring out rhythm.
You haven't.
Nah.
Have you seen line dancing, bro?
They had to make lines for us.
Just stay on these lines.
You'll figure that shit.
And if everybody in the place is doing the exact same dance, maybe you'll get it right.
The Texas.
That's all line dancing is if you left white people up to their own devices, this shit was going to get bad real quick.
Line Dancing Blues00:14:49
It turned into a mosh pit.
So they were like, all right, all of us are going to do this shit at the same time.
Two-stepping.
Literally, two-steps.
Two.
One, two, slide.
Everybody's doing it.
Got to be coordinated.
That's the only thing that's going to be.
No, it's not blessed, bro.
Miami's a good town to watch just the disparity in dancing talent between Latins and whites.
Yeah.
Whites fuck up the entire.
You put one white guy in the dance floor in Miami.
Yeah.
Start stepping on people's feet, doing numbers in his head.
Like there's some Latin woman who's trying to sympathetically teach him.
No, just move like this and turn.
And they just don't get it.
I remember I was here and I just couldn't get it.
I was like, one, two, three, four, turn.
One, two, three, four.
Well, maybe run.
I'm coming back down here, dog.
Have you bought a place in Austin yet?
No.
So you're not really moving Austin.
Well, since you told me not to, I'm not.
I'm taking it back.
You're coming down here.
We're East Coast boys.
Bro, I don't know if I could come down here and get fucking Corona again like Marky Gagnon.
You know what I'm saying?
I'm not even lie.
I'm not even gonna lie.
I'm gonna do that.
I'm gonna fly this rumor, bro.
You're the honest of me.
Why are you doing this?
Yeah, Mark got it twice.
You're texting Joe Rogan.
You wouldn't believe it.
Yeah, what the fuck, Schultz?
I spread that rumor around 20 times.
You put it on Instagram, too.
At least mine was a private taxi, did you test positive for Corona more than one time?
I tested negative more often.
I tested positive.
I hate him, bro.
I fucking hate this kid.
So you got the Miami strand that's like maxed in, mixed in with Ricky Martin's ass fumes.
Glorious Stefan.
I got to get animals to make sure, I think.
That shit got him, yo.
I still can't smell.
Yeah, I can't smell it.
No smell, no taste, nothing.
But, bro, if you get it the second time, because when Mark got it the second time, it was bad.
But I'm still early.
I'm on day seven.
So once I'm...
What does that mean?
Day seven.
I still got four.
What?
Oh, you're seven days after being clear.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
You got a negative test there.
Wait, so it was bad the second time?
The first?
Yes.
Well, the first time, I think I got a false positive.
Right.
You might have had the other strain, too.
You might have had that more that way.
Your first strain was pussy.
Yeah.
Yo, I'm saying if you get caught up, bro, on a round two.
Oh my goodness.
I'm going to call Dove.
We're doing everything we can for you.
Where are you?
Where are you?
Okay, I'll try to send one up there right now.
They wouldn't go to you, bro.
No, it wouldn't go.
We tried.
I know.
We tried.
Yeah, if I get a second one, I think my antibodies are strong.
Yeah, you're not going to get a second one.
Yeah, Greeks don't go down.
We keep coming.
Do you?
Yeah, we should come.
Do you?
Yeah.
We are there.
We already rebuilt that empire.
No, yeah.
We're kind of like.
We really didn't.
Yeah, we're the Al Bundy of countries, kind of.
That's so great.
You're married to children.
Al Bundy just relived his high school days to hold himself.
He did four touchdowns in one game.
He's the most like kind of regular ass stand-era high school player.
Wasn't it a championship game?
No, I had four touchdowns in one game.
He never said this.
All the line was always four touchdowns in one game.
We're always just like talking about the glory days, and now we're selling shoes.
So that's.
No, I think it was the championship game.
Maybe.
Because do you remember the episode where his daughter goes on Jeopardy?
Yes.
And remember, like if she gets one new piece of information, the old and old game.
Yeah.
And the last question of Jeopardy is: who is the person that scored four touchdowns?
In one game.
Yeah, in the final high school football game, whatever.
Yo, Kelly Bundy was a peace.
Boy.
Peace.
Lopped off her tits, though.
She got lopped off tits.
Tattoo.
Yeah, lopped them off.
Lopped.
Yeah, she locked her off.
She had to.
And yo, her brother had some bars, though.
What?
Remember, he was a rapper?
No.
Oh, David Faustino?
No.
Yeah, he was a rapper.
I did not know.
So is the kid from 90210.
Oh, David Green?
Yeah, David Parker Green.
I don't know, but I know that he was cracking out Megan Fox, and that is a good, that's a good take.
Commendable.
That is a good takedown.
That's a good takedown.
That is a commendable takedown.
Okay.
Let's talk about a couple things, my friends.
Stimulus.
Are we going to get our money or what?
You're not concerned.
What do you mean?
I'm not going to get any of them.
You mean like we like us?
I mean, we like us.
Yeah, yeah.
Well, I hope I get mine.
You're not going to get any money.
I need that money.
Do you?
I need to buy diapers.
Stop it.
You got a couple ducats, bro.
I saved up.
I see.
You got a couple ducats.
I got enough to maybe last me a year or two.
If you're thinking about it.
Did you know you would fuck up History Hyenas a year in advance and start saving?
Bro, I saved every dollar from that wig, and Miami knows what I'm talking about because she was big down here, bro.
Every show I did, bro, like Sergio used to say, yo, look out for that wig.
A lot of us eat off that wig.
Really?
Yeah, I'll throw that.
I'm about to throw that wig back on, move down to Miami, just live as Muarica.
You've been killing it down here at that.
Yeah, they loved her down here.
It was huge down here.
Cubans loved her.
Cuba, it was like New York and Miami with the two spots.
Yeah.
And we come down here and blow it out.
It was a lot of fun.
Do you think that could go viral now?
No way.
It's a hate crime now.
There's actually a warning on it.
I had to drop my whole YouTube page and start a new one.
There's a warning on it now.
Really?
There's a warning on it.
Why?
Language, offensive content.
Yeah.
And you know, the irony is it's like beloved.
The fans of it are all Hispanic and gay.
Yeah.
And black.
It was all Hispanic, black.
White people being offended on behalf of a community that loves it.
Yeah, I mean, they do it at drag shows.
Like, she's like a legend in the drag community.
Yeah, they'll do it all the time.
Play the audio, and then the drag queens will act out what you're saying.
Yeah.
I mean, it was like, there wasn't probably a Puerto Rican in New York that didn't know about it.
They didn't know that.
It was crazy at a time.
And I did those shows, and those shows were all black and Puerto Rican.
And then what crowd?
Why did it stop?
I milked the shit out of it for years.
You went too far.
I just did it as much as you can do it.
Did you end up doing a show and then like there just weren't that many people there?
Yeah.
What was that like?
It's, you just know.
I always knew that because it happened to me when I was in my 30s.
So it wasn't like I just knew.
You knew that there had a certain amount of miles on and you were going to run through it.
Yeah.
Okay.
Yeah.
And okay, so then what happened?
What was the show?
When did you start to realize?
Okay, we've reached the end.
Me and Angelo, God rest his soul.
R.I.P. man.
Yeah, RIP Angelo Lozada.
You know, we did those shows together for so long.
I mean, when I'm on my deathbed, I'll think about some of those shows like we did in Miami down here.
Did you?
The room would shake and it was fucking brutal.
Did you think about them when I put you on your deathbed?
When you were on your deathbed.
Is that when you were thinking about it?
I was thinking about it.
Yeah.
I was going, Angelo, I'm coming.
I'll see you soon.
I heard him going, yeah, come on, pop.
You know?
So, yeah, it was just, it was, and then we, I remember.
I remember, there's a couple funny stories.
I'll just tell us one quick because it's real funny.
In Chicago, it was all Panos fans.
I used to do the show and I would do both characters.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It was all Greek, but we didn't know.
Can I explain to them real quick?
Sure.
Okay, so Panos is Giannis' Greek character.
It's similar to Marisa, which probably you guys are familiar with, in that you just dive in completely to that character and you're making social commentary through that character's voice.
Yeah.
Greek guy, like typical diner owner-looking Greek guy, mustache, et cetera.
Yeah.
And then Marisa, for anybody who doesn't know, is where the term Daset was popular.
Daset, yeah.
Everybody just started saying that rigorous.
It became part of the fucking vernacular, rigorous.
And it was this amazing, hilarious character they did that just fucking exploded on YouTube and like took New York by storm.
I'm sure it took other parts of the country by storm as well.
So you were doing both of them together, which in a lot of ways makes no fucking sense.
No, but I wanted to do it.
Yeah, but it was stupid.
Okay, go.
Yeah, I'll go.
But you're right, because it would put two groups of people that would never be in the same room together.
And each group didn't know the other character.
So it was like one half of the crowd is going, what the fuck is this?
And when you're doing an ethnically themed show, they don't want to hear anything about anything that isn't them.
No, you're absolutely right.
Do you know, like, if it's the Indian show, they want to hear Indian shit.
Yeah, I don't want to hear about China.
Don't pontificate about what's happening in the House or the Senate.
Just tell us about us.
Yeah.
Exactly, right?
So, okay, you're in there.
Now you have these two groups.
They could give a flying fuck.
The trainees that are loving Marisa could give a flying fuck about Greek shit.
Right.
And the Greeks who give a flying fuck about the trainees.
Right.
Okay.
And that was what made it so magical when it did work.
But when it didn't work, it was like hilarious.
So Chicago, we had no idea.
Panos would go first because he didn't kill as hard as she would.
And she would go and then I would close as me, right?
So we did Panos first in Chicago, improv, murdered, right?
Murdered.
And we were going like, I was looking at Angelo, I'm like, I think we finally figured this shit out.
Like, cause he didn't always do that great.
I'm like, we finally figured it out.
And then I go back, I change it to Maurisa, and we play the song, and he goes big.
Angelo always goes, you guys ready to see the queen?
And it just echoed off the ceiling.
Just wait, you ready to see the queen, queen, queen?
No noise.
Usually you'd hear girls fucking going nuts, screaming, screeching, nothing.
So I just walk out there in the Chicago improv, which is big.
It's cavernous, right?
And it was packed, but it was just like the song was just reverberating in silence.
Like it was just a room full of Greeks going, what the fuck is this?
And I'm prancing around the stage button.
Dase, what's going on, my people?
And then you just hear nothing.
And I just look out into the crowd.
I just see Greek Yaya's, old women, children, just Greeks.
We went up, I did Maurisa, it ate dick for like seven minutes to the point where I just moved the mic and I said, Angela, let's just wrap it up.
And then he went, all right, that's just it.
And I just walked out.
There wasn't even a clap.
It was just a room full of confused people going, what the fuck was that?
It was like, it was almost like a hate crime that they just watched.
They were Greek.
Yeah.
They had no idea.
Then you split them up.
No, then we kept doing it.
Yeah, we kept doing it.
My first thought is you're already, you're dividing your money in half.
You could just sell out one show as Panos, one show as Mauricia.
The funny thing is when people would come afterwards and be like, yo, you all three people?
Like, because sometimes you get some real...
You didn't know.
They'd be like, yo, you know what?
Was that New Yorker growing up?
I didn't know.
You didn't know?
Yeah.
Because you would do stand-up as yourself first.
Yeah.
Okay.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So then when Maurisa died, it was just me and Angelo in Phoenix.
Wait, why did Maurisa die?
That's what I'm trying to understand.
I think so many people came and saw it that it just kind of.
So, what was the show that let you know, okay, this is done?
Phoenix.
So, you went to do Phoenix, and then just people didn't come out.
It was like 50 people really being in a big room.
That was stand-up live.
The thing about the character is you, once I see the character, we know character comics were hilarious once, then you see him again, you're like, I get it now.
Yeah.
So, you're not watching them twice.
A guy with a point of view, you, me, hopefully, Chappelle, whoever these guys are.
Point of view comics, I want to hear what you have to say about everything.
Well, that's why I'll watch you come back.
But that's the thing that I always liked about the videos because I thought it was like your sneaky way of like getting your opinions off through the character.
It is, right?
So, like, I was like, oh, this has legs.
You can just keep on doing this.
It had a good run.
10 years.
I mean, you know, think about it.
It's 10 years ago.
Bro, but here's the thing.
Phoenix might be a different type of Latinos.
They might, that's Mexicans.
They're not fucking with a Cuban or a Puerto Rican or whatever.
So I don't know if that's an indictment on a character dying or not.
That was the beginning.
Yeah, that was the beginning.
Then we came back to New York and the numbers just died down a little bit.
It's kind of dying down.
There were still hardcore fans.
And I started doing her podcast, and then it kind of came back up.
But then you need to keep feeding it.
You also didn't keep it relevant online.
Yeah, you didn't keep feeding it.
I'm going to keep doing them all, but like, yeah, it's like, it's just all going to be brought together.
Like, I'm just going to bring them all together on long days with Giannis Pappas.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I'm going to bring it all up.
That was a clean plug, right?
Yeah, yeah.
Clean plug.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
No, I didn't see it as a plug.
You know what you need, Yannis?
If you like Yanni Long Days, you'll love History Hyenas if you guys want to check out the episodes.
It's a classic and it's up forever.
You can check it out.
And our Patreon's still up.
Our final episode is on our Patreon.
You need a fucking like a scooter brawn, but like not as successful as Scooter yet.
Scooter.
Scooters like Justin Bieber's manager, Ariana Grani's manager, Baba, like literally every successful What's Across? Crack changes the fucking world.
Yeah, he got the Netflix special made.
He executed approves the Netflix special.
And shouts to Justin for putting me on to them and all these things.
But he's just really smart about the industry, but doesn't care about being in front of the camera.
He doesn't want.
He likes being that role.
That's refreshing.
And you have all these fucking great ideas and then some shitty ones like all of us, but you throw it all at the wall.
You throw everything at the wall.
And then if something sticks, you'll roll with it for a little bit.
But if you had a guy who was just like, hey, hey, hey, this is actually good.
Can we just focus on this?
Don't throw this at the wall.
We'll make this work.
I think it could be really beneficial.
I rarely say people need managers.
Yeah.
You don't need anything.
But the right guy that was just working on the business side so you could just be on the creative, I think could take things far away for you.
That would be a relief.
Oh, that's a dream to have someone just like the right guy.
But no one's right.
Yeah.
That's the thing.
There are very few of these people.
Yeah, very few.
But if you get the right person, I think it could really work.
You always, yeah, and then you find out about their other dreams when you're the manager.
Like, yeah, you know, but I want to, you know, I sell this on this.
You're going like, like, I did comedy for four years.
You're like, all right, okay, fan.
You don't like when motherfuckers got other interests.
Yeah, no.
You can't have other interests.
Focus on me.
Focus.
It's my thing.
That's it, Chris.
Yeah.
I love Chrissy D. All love.
We got to get Chrissy back out here.
Huh?
Can't be that needy.
Who, me?
Yeah.
With comics, we're all needy.
Yeah, but you got to know when to be needy and when to not.
You know what I mean?
When there's money involved, that's my need.
It's filled.
Yeah.
Al, Mark, could we do some facts, no feelings, please?
Feelings, no facts.
Feelings, no facts.
I be getting it backward all the time.
Fuck.
Feelings, no facts.
Yeah, yeah.
You want to just take us through a few of these topicos?
I like that topicos.
Yeah, we're out here, man.
Let's start at the list that we have there.
Yeah.
Oh, okay.
Perfect.
All right.
So did you finish the stimulus situation?
Oh, yeah.
We didn't even talk about that.
So did you guys hear about the $15 minimum wage thing being killed?
Yeah.
By Democrats.
Yeah.
Really?
Yeah, like two Democrat, I guess, congressmen were the ones that said, no, no, no.
Why?
Yo, that shit is a big jump, bro.
Like, I want people to make $15 an hour, but it's high.
Yeah.
Like, it's, what is it, seven and a quarter now to $15?
Yeah, but it's gradual.
It's not going to happen overnight.
But still, it feels like it is.
How many nights is it going to happen over?
How many nights is it going to happen over?
Live in poverty.
No, no, no.
See, now you're making me be the bad guy.
I'm just telling you what it is.
You're making me be the bad guy.
You were the bad guy.
When you started talking about your Porsche, it was like, all right, I don't know how it's going to make that funny.
Guys, my Porsche didn't start this morning.
Fake Porsche.
But you can afford a real one.
Minimum Wage Jump To Fifteen00:06:15
That's right.
Chrissy, I see you coming for that corporate money too, baby.
Let's get some Porsches.
Leave these bus pass bitches behind.
No, no, for real, though.
Let's get fake cars, all of us.
But wait, what the fuck were we just saying?
Oh, yeah, yeah.
The raising it to, what's it called, $15 an hour?
It just seems, you don't think it seems high?
Like, just don't go eventually.
Just go, yeah, let's bring it to 10.
And then in a few years, then you bring it to 12.
So slow, dog.
Like, $7 an hour was mad long ago.
No, no.
You're 100% right.
I'm just saying how you get people to digest it.
If your girl said, yo, we got to start having sex twice as much a week than we usually do.
Oh, shit.
Thank you.
Four times a month.
Let's go to it.
That's the crazy thing.
Not being dead ass.
If my girl's like, we got to do double.
And then she's like, we could work towards it.
And I'm like, well, why don't you just say that?
Don't say we have to do double and then backwards explain it into some bullshit.
Double is always a lot.
But I mean, that's.
If you came to ask me for a raise double, I'll give you an owl laugh.
Let's work towards it.
That's what I tell you.
I mean, we're going to work towards it decades from now.
So just start at the work towards.
What they do is they say $15 an hour because they know it's going to gain public support.
It's a fucking lie.
That's what these politicians, they always, they lie to you with the shit that you want to hear, right?
So you can get it passed, but it's bullshit.
But we know Dems are bad at marketing and branding.
Or they're brilliant.
They're brilliant.
They just say what you want to hear.
Give everybody $1,000.
Now this motherfucker is going to be mayor.
He ain't giving me nothing.
There you go.
So it's bullshit.
$15 an hour.
Yeah, Amazon can afford it, but I don't know if every spot can afford it.
Yeah.
I don't, it's a bad time for a $15 minimum wage because like employers are struggling.
You tell some guy who's got a small business, he's got to pay $15.
He's going like, I don't have $15.
I'm at 25% capacity in a restaurant.
I'm at 25% capacity, and now I got to double my salary.
That's crazy.
My fear is if you pass a $15 minimum wage, it's already happening, but that'll just incentivize big companies to get rid of employees even faster and automate everything even quicker.
Not only does it incentivize big companies to get rid of employees, who does it benefit?
Which companies can afford $15 minimum wage?
Walmart.
That's about it.
Walmart, Amazon, the big companies.
Who can't?
Mom and pops?
$15 minimum wage doesn't help the small businesses.
It just helps the big business.
It turns America into five different stores.
So I want people to make $15 an hour.
I hope mom and pop shops are so, I felt they're flourishing so much that they feel like they can afford to pay their employees $15.
But to mandate it might put them in a position where a lot of people go out of business.
It's unrealistic.
It's just unrealistic in the context of now, which is something that the...
It's double, bro.
The progress.
Give me one thing that you're okay with double.
Somebody wanting double from you.
Yeah.
Go.
Double.
I want double.
I can't tell if you're doing your fake Hindi right now and you're saying double, double or if it was happening.
Wasn't, but that's really funny that that's what it sounded like.
No, I'm just saying, if somebody asks you for double anything, doesn't that seem excessive?
It's excessive, especially during this time where everybody's going to be able to do it.
Even if they can't have it, even if they deserve it.
If your girl wants double the nights a week that she gets to spend time with you, that sounds a lot.
Double?
Yeah.
That's a lot.
Yeah.
Double, bro.
Gosh.
Yes.
You don't think that's crazy?
It's a lot, dude.
I'm in my 40s.
Trust me.
I want to jerk off two times.
I can't.
It's a lot.
Only go once.
I got one, and that's me doing it.
That's it.
And I know how to do it.
The first class ticket is double the extra legroom ticket.
Right.
Are you paying for that?
No, because it's double.
Yeah.
If it was 25% more, man, we could do that.
It's a great point.
I'm just saying double is excessive.
What you laughing at over there, Al?
Just your ability to not relate with the normal people.
Well, he's a flat first class.
He's an employer.
So you go, yo, let's slow this shit down.
Let's cut this before.
It's out of hand.
You got to cat.
You got to cut the stock off.
I'm trying to relate to people because they would never pay double for the first class ticket, but they pay 25% more.
You would pay 25% more.
I've seen you go up to the fucking woman at the desk at Delta.
How much of her upgrade?
$50.
You'd be like, how much for the upgrade?
$50?
Okay, $50, I could do it.
$100, I could do it.
$250, maybe you could do it.
And then it gets to a number where you can't.
Maybe they should do minimum wage just for like corporations.
This is my suggestion.
Yo, guys, I'm pretty sure it depends on how many employees work at the company.
So it's not going to affect small business.
Mark, is this a fact?
I can't confirm or deny.
Nah, he's right.
So there's different levels for.
So it's not going to hurt mom and pop.
Yeah, but I don't like the way they're framing it because they're framing it in a way where nobody's going to support it.
Because if you think about it, why would the Democrats kill it?
It's Democrats that killed it.
But here's the thing: because they're all frauds, and we'll get to that in a second.
Don't people already largely support it, though?
Of course.
Why wouldn't you, most people get paid?
So why wouldn't you want to get paid more?
Right.
My point is: a senator is going to have to do what his supporters want him to do.
Right?
He's going to have to.
Right.
No matter what.
That's just his job.
It's not what he feels.
It's what the people who vote for him feel.
Right.
So now you're putting them in a position where they're going to have to veto something that they wouldn't have to if it was framed differently.
If the bill was, hey, this is just for Amazon, this is just for Walmart, and mom and pops, you don't have to.
And if you have under 10 employees, it will only go up to $8.
If that was the bill, then maybe those two congressmen that ended up vetoing or ended up saying no, maybe they would be able to because their supporters will go, okay, I like this.
But the fact that it's $15 minimum wage, the mom and pop shops that are voting for those congressmen are like, I will never vote for you again if you make me pay my employees double because they don't even know it's not double.
Their restaurant's not even open right now.
It's closed.
And I got to pay double.
Now I got to pay double.
It doesn't even make sense.
Come on, bro.
I mean, you know, and fucking, you know, Cuomo's got, you know, Cuomo's got a fucking rape case.
Yo, that Cuomo shit.
Let's talk about that Cuomo shit.
All I got to say is cases are going up in New York City.
Cryo Sport Formulation00:03:21
I love that tweet.
I love that.
That was a great tweet.
But low-key, those are some lying-ass bitches, bro.
You think so?
Lying-ass bitches.
It's convenient timing, ain't it?
No, I just, I don't trust you.
No, no, no, no.
It's convenient ass timing that the second, the second Cuomo stock starts to drop, that these aides whose career is tied to Cuomo's success, whose political career is tied to success, are like, oh, I got to get out of this shit before it sinks.
That guy said dirty words to me.
I would agree with you.
He didn't touch nobody, right?
No, but he wears nipple rings.
I don't trust anyone who wears nipple rings.
He's a chimp.
He's a chimp.
Yeah.
But, and he's a sexual deviant, sure.
Right.
Maybe.
But that doesn't mean he's a fucking rapist.
Probably.
Maybe he said.
I don't know the facts.
Yo, maybe he said some crazy shit to them.
What I don't understand is why didn't we hear about this earlier?
Why is this just popping up now?
That's always, it always like when he was Captain Corona and he was about to be the next president, all those aides were like, I'll deal with some flirty talk because I'm going to get a position.
But don't get a position in the government.
And the second that motherfucker is getting feasted on by the media vultures, immediately what happens?
Immediately.
Right.
Oh, yeah, he said some inappropriate shit to me.
I need to get out there.
Please go.
Maybe when he's everybody's beloved, what the fuck is he?
Governor?
Governor.
I don't know.
Governor.
Ruin the greatest city in the West.
Yeah.
Ruin the greatest city in history.
But maybe at that time when everybody's praising him, you're like, man, everybody loves this guy.
Nobody's going to believe me.
I can't fucking go out this guy.
And then when you see him be vulnerable, you're like, oh, now people might understand this guy.
But usually he's a phony piece of shit.
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Omaxhealth Promo Code Flagrant00:13:42
All right, let's get back to the show.
Yo, check it.
I mean, I just see Schultzy on a tightrope walk like this.
I've never linked to that blood American.
So I'm a gang member.
I'm a blood.
I knew he was in a mood when he started with, I thought RB standed for renting blacks.
That's obviously a joke you bought.
I mean, you owned there was paperwork.
This wasn't even good, Jen.
This was not an Airbnb.
This was mortgage, refinancing.
You know, feel real like conflicted about slavery because it's so wrong, but it's also such good deals.
What do you mean?
Like, if you're like a woke Indian, you'd be like, yo, this is foul what they're doing to these black people, but also what a bargain.
Son, we don't know the prices, bro.
I can't imagine they were getting fair value.
I mean, how do you know it wasn't fair to them?
Fair market value.
Can I make a point right now?
Okay, here we go.
Make a point.
Do you, man?
Do you think you would have been able to get a Netflix show if your views were like 80,000 saying what we just said?
Like, do you think it's even possible?
Or do you think, you know what I'm saying?
Like, you got to be in the millions to be able to do jokes like this.
I got offered Netflix when our numbers are less.
Yeah.
But I said no to it.
But that was because my stand-up numbers were crazy.
Right.
So the podcast was different.
Right.
Yeah.
But yeah, you guys need to build up to get also to do what we did on Netflix.
You need to be do it your way.
Exactly.
We just did it completely our way, right?
And shouts to them for supporting that.
And if you look at all the history of the shows that have worked, hold on, we were having a lot of fun talking about it.
I'm slavery.
What was it?
Yeah.
Good deals.
Oh, yeah, the deals.
We don't even know the deal.
Yo, I had this thought.
Let's go back to the day.
I was just trying to make Alex.
Alex loved to change the topic.
You're going to say, no, let's go back.
No, this is something I really thought about.
I'll be mistreating black people.
Yo, there was a black kid at the show yesterday.
I wouldn't even talk to him.
I didn't even offer him a Pepsi.
Oh, so long ago, it was a Coca-Cola.
He said, Do you want a Coca-Cola to the guy?
And I was like, I knew you were a fraud, bro.
So he was a southern black.
It's a regional thing.
It's a regional thing.
I've been doing that a rough couple decades, huh?
20s.
They've had a rough cut.
Since they killed Jesus, it's been kind of rough.
Whoa, yanny.
That's been a rough.
That was.
Whoa, did they do that for people?
Don't get over that.
But have they?
It's like, fucking, okay.
It's like, fucking move on.
But let it go.
But it worked out.
Huh?
It worked out.
It did work out.
For Christians, it really worked out.
Not for Jews.
Not for Jews.
As a Catholic, I'm grateful.
Yeah, you have Catholicism.
You should worship Jews.
They do.
I fucking do worships a Jew in the name of Jesus.
Come on.
That's true.
You're right.
Jews as a whole.
That's some soft ass shit, bro.
That's like Canadians got the English fucking queen on their money.
That's the equivalent.
Like Catholics worshiping another religion's guy.
Yeah.
You let people open your cross, yo.
You need your own guy, bro.
Well, we have God and Virgin Mary.
That one.
We got Virgin Mary.
She's not a virgin because Jesus had brothers.
I mean, Mary took dicks.
It's contested.
It's contested.
That's a law.
I can't even punch you in the face right now.
I mean, Mary took dicks.
How do you know that, though?
Because historically, Jesus had a couple brothers.
Nobody cares about them, but he had brothers.
What were his brothers' names?
Who knows?
What were Martin Luther King?
Nobody knows Martin Luther King's siblings either.
You do?
What are you?
Barry, John, Jamal.
I think.
Yeah.
Nobody.
If you name a Martin Luther King sibling right now, I will give you the $10 in my wallet.
There's Martin Luther King Jr.
Yeah.
Right?
There's Malcolm Luther King Jr.
But Mary took dicks.
Omar Absol Luther King Jr.
Tupac, Tupac.
Omar Johnson, Luther King Juts.
Omar Johnson.
Sean White Luther King Jr.
That sucks when your sibling is that famous.
You just become like a Google Maps face.
Like, you know, when you ever go to Google Maps and people just blurt out, you're just a sibling of.
But how do we know for a fact that Jesus had brothers?
Because history, dogs.
But no, no.
We don't know for a fact Jesus existed.
That's blasphemy, bro.
That's blasphemy.
Nah, he existed.
You haven't seen the Prince?
Have you seen The Prince?
I haven't seen Prince, but I know he existed.
Yeah, but you have seen Prince.
I've seen the fucking Brent Corvette.
I ain't seen it.
I saw the rain when doves cry.
When doves cry.
Yeah, I heard the voice, but maybe that was Dave Chappelle playing Prince.
I don't know.
All I'm trying to say is we don't know for a fact Jesus existed.
Well, you never went through hard times and looked down at the sand and there was only one set of footprints.
Yo, yo, yo, yo.
But here's I have.
I was being carried by Jesus in a stealthy in Bushwing.
Only one set of footprints.
That's what you want to do.
Sean's not saying that in England.
He said, this is just one set of footprints.
What's going on?
That is a good point.
If you're alone on the beach, there should be only one set of footprints, fam.
Yeah.
Why is that weird?
Like, nobody's on the beach and they see one set of footprints and they're like, something's wrong here.
Yeah.
Something's up.
I've been walking alone and I see proof of that.
Yeah.
So, yeah, like explain that.
It's supposed to he carries you during hard times.
There was times you're walking with him.
You're walking with God.
Yeah.
And then when during tough times, what I'm saying is, what I'm saying is, blasphemy is what you're saying.
No, I'm the ultimate believer.
Yeah.
Because what is Christianity about?
Love.
Forgiveness.
Faith.
Faith.
And Ferraris.
There might be no proof that Jesus existed, but I have faith.
I don't need proof because I have faith.
You feel me?
Right.
You feel me?
Yeah.
Because you out here, like, oh, history, history, history, but you got no proof.
We got no proof that Pythagoras even invented triangles.
Yeah.
Triangles could have been invented way before Pythagoras.
Well, if you ask Israelites, they'll tell you it wasn't.
They'll be like, yo, they stole all that shit.
They stole all that.
Because I please believe the first person to invent a triangle probably figured that out.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Because back then, that's all you had to do.
Yeah.
You didn't wake up and check Twitter and Instagram for your mentions.
You were looking at your new toy, the triangle.
Right.
And you were looking at all those angles.
You were analyzing all those angles.
And you started to realize, oh, this should look a little more isosceles.
Right.
That's a good point.
That's all I'm trying to say: is Pythagoras was probably the one that had Pythagoreas.
Pythagoreans.
Yo, Pythagoreas was probably the one that had access to a stone or some shit to write his name in it.
Like he figured it out.
That's right.
Yeah.
Parallel thinking my ass.
Oh, shit.
Yeah.
I always wondered.
That's a good point.
Because I always wondered, like, they say Alexander the Great was in the front.
Was he really?
He was.
Was he leading his troops?
He was in the back.
How come he's not dead?
Because you die in the front.
Nope.
Nope.
He was very good.
You don't limp back into it.
He's very good, bro.
That guy was good.
And that's why he's actually great, to be honest with you.
He's bisexual with Greece.
Was he bisexual?
Oh, yeah.
You were at war forever.
You're going to split cheeks.
I mean, just it was just.
Matter of fact, the fact that he was bisexual probably means he wasn't raping tons of women like those Vikings.
No, he did do that too.
No, he raped a lot of little boys.
Wait, what?
That's what they did.
No, women.
Like, what in the Woody Allen documentary are you talking about?
Greeks fuck little boys.
Everybody did.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Don't normalize it.
You're normalizing.
I mean, every empire, you see it.
The Ottomans did it.
My grandfather was sent to Egypt by his family because they were afraid that a Turkish Sultan was going to rape him because we were occupied by the Ottomans.
So they were.
True story.
Egyptian boys.
They would, yeah, they would take the little boys and they would rape them.
So these guys would rape your own Kanaidos is like a thing that was like the Ottomans did a touch too.
I mean, what's a Kanaidos?
It's like a relationship, like a teacher and a little boy, and you would fuck them.
How do you even know that, though?
Yeah.
Dead ass.
They just learned this in college, and I don't know why.
I never, what college is that?
Liberal Arts School.
Yeah.
The one thing he remembers from fucking God.
Yeah, he literally has no information for Pedophiles.
Except for Kanaidos.
Because we used to call each other Kanaidos.
Before you asked us, all we took is every guy in our school would just call each other Kanaidos.
They made you take this class called Heritage of Western Culture.
And then when we studied the Greeks, that was the one thing we all remember.
It's the best when intellectuals give you a new word for maggot.
Yo, and then you just, because all we knew.
Yeah, look at this.
Kanaidos over there.
Kanidos, bro.
Yo, so you guys are the most famous gays, you think?
Like, in a way, I appreciate Marisa more.
I think.
Like the Panophans, they didn't see it.
They go the other way.
There's a lot of homophobia.
Well, yeah, because they got to fight back against the weapon.
That's how it works.
Yeah, it is.
You know, you go the other way with it.
You know, like, that's what cultures do.
Like, I think the Jews were so gay that now you had to be homophobic to balance out.
I think that's what it is.
I think the Germans are very friendly, over-friendly to Jews now.
Do you think a little too much?
Well, maybe it's a little too much.
A little too much.
A little fake.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
A little fake.
We know how you really feel.
Oh, you think they still harbor something?
I mean, I mean, where does that come from?
I know where it comes from.
I think we all know where it comes from.
Where does it come from?
Why they're so nice to Jews?
No, I'm saying, like, what they did.
Like, where did that come from?
That came from pending.
I think it's jealousy and envy because Jews are just killing it.
Oh, yeah.
Jews kill it.
And it's like, really?
They're poor as fuck.
I mean, that's where conspiracy theories always come from people who have no power, no leverage.
That's where conspiracies go.
It must be something else.
It's like, no, the dude, you know, yeah, he used some nepotism to give it to its son, but we all do that.
Everybody does it.
Everyone does.
Nepotism, cronyism.
Yes, of course.
Yeah.
I think they're just kind of a weird kind of, you know, they try shit.
They Germany.
They sacked Rome.
They sacked Rome, the Germanic tribes.
They got something in them where they just want to, it's just kind of, you see it, they want to just take shit.
Yeah.
It's like, you know, and their food stinks.
They pay no attention to artistic stuff, pleasurable stuff.
True.
Their food stinks.
You're talking about Germans the way black people talk about all white people.
Are you telling me when you go to a table?
They got no rhythm.
They don't.
You tell me you go to a four-star German fucking restaurant and they serve you ballpark food.
You tell me you're walking out and give my fucking heaven.
You're going to write a positive fucking review.
You're going to say, yeah, the Frankfurter and applesauce was delicious.
I'll tell you what.
If they said, hey, you want to get into that oven or you want to eat this for dinner, I'm saying, put me in the fucking oven.
Serve me a fucking frank and call it a fucking cuisine.
Now, maybe they don't have traditional like dinner.
Maybe because their ovens were already being used for other things and they can't make their change.
That's me at least.
That's a good point.
That is a good point.
I didn't think of that.
No, but in terms of philosophy, in terms of like classical music and stuff, there's an undeniable connection between the Germans and art that we obviously don't see because of the atrocities of World War II.
But Germans, Austrians, is the same ethnic people.
But they tried to be good.
Like the Austrians came here.
And Hitler was Austrian.
I know, but he was.
He had to go to Germany.
He was self-hating.
He was also a little bit Jew.
I mean, isn't it weird that the guy who was advocating for superiority?
First of all, it's weird that you're advocating for superiority and that's your cuisine is Frankfurter's, but that's a side point.
But he was advocating for superiority for guys that looked like Marky and he looked like me.
Yeah, but wouldn't you believe it even more if the guy who's not you tells you it's the truth?
It's a little hypocritical.
It's hypocritical, but if anything, you believe it more.
It's like when the waiter says that one of the items on the menu is bad.
You're like, oh, I really believe you because this is supposed to be your thing.
And you're telling me it's not as good as it should be.
I'm not.
I'm not following that example.
I want it at first, but he brought it together.
So like, for example, like when the waiter, you ask a waiter, like, hey, is the steak good?
And then he goes, I'll be honest with you, the steak is trash.
Now I trust that waiter.
Right.
Because he's saying this is wow.
Yeah.
If an Aryan says they're the best, it's like, of course you're.
Of course you want to believe that because you're Aryan.
But if someone who's not Aryan goes, yo, you guys are the best.
This is what it is.
And you're feeling super insecure and broke because we straight bodied them, motherfuckers.
You know, bent them over anal Swat.
You know, who is steak in Ventura is anal swab.
Also, my name is Schultz.
That is German as fuck.
But I was here before they got bad.
Yeah.
Are you?
You don't have, you're Scottish, though.
A mom's Scottish dad is Irish and German.
Yeah, you got, oh, you got to leave.
But like my Irish and Germans, I was in America in like 1800s.
Right.
After that whole thing now.
Right, right.
You were one of those like paupers.
It's like 1880s.
It was perfect timing.
Like Germans were still like, oh, those are the smart guys that are philosophers in Europe.
Some bad ideas were coming.
Yo, dude, real talk.
Germany peaked like 1910.
If the world stops in 1910, people would literally go, those Germans were absolutely brilliant.
Right?
Isn't that true?
Well, they made a few comebacks.
Like they're the biggest economy in Europe now.
But in our lifetime and future life, they'll never, there needs to be, Mark and I were talking about this the other day.
Like, what did we liken awful things and awful people to prior to Hitler?
Right.
There had to be a Hitler before Hitler.
And who would you say it was?
I think it was Napoleon.
It was Napoleon, right?
Like, oh, literally, you're the Napoleon of in the same way that we would use Hitler, right?
And they need another Hitler to come out before they don't have that stink on them anymore.
Right.
I hope it doesn't happen.
I hope it doesn't happen.
But nothing can recover from that.
Right.
Without something replacing it.
Right.
Because we'll just continue to use it in common vernacular.
Oh, you're a Nazi about soup.
Yeah.
Hitler Before Hitler00:13:10
Right.
I think he also proved that evil is more powerful than good because he's much more famous than Charlie Chaplin.
Both had the same mustache.
It's banned because of him.
But how come people don't go, hey, it was a good mustache?
Because Charlie Chaplin is as prolific as Hitler.
Yeah.
That's a good point.
He didn't put up those types of numbers.
He had to put up numbers, bro.
Numbers on the board.
Yeah, he did.
Chamberlain style.
Yeah, but if it's all about numbers, I mean, Stalin put up better numbers.
Son, we've got to do that.
James Khan.
We write Russia.
We're going to put out the history books, bro.
But yeah, listen, this was a good history discussion.
We're going to pay some bills.
All right, guys, we're going to take a break for a second because COVID spring break is coming around.
And you know what that means?
You got to trim them pubes.
I know you're supposed to stay home, but you know, a lot of you are going that way for a spraying break.
I said away weird, but I'm not going to stop it.
Okay.
You're going away.
You're probably coming down to Miami.
Maybe you're going to other parts of Florida.
Maybe you're going to Tulum.
Maybe you're staying exactly where you are, but you want your dick and balls to look good.
And there's one way to make it look good.
All right.
Shave it.
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I was going to say something a little bit more dirty, but let's go shave it.
Shave it down.
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It's the only thing I use.
Besides the fact that it's the best equipment.
Okay.
Yes, it's the best equipment, hands down.
Besides the fact it's going to take care of your dick and balls and make them look beautiful, and your girl's going to appreciate it.
The girl you haven't even met yet is going to appreciate.
It's going to set the tone for all the relationships that you have.
Besides all of that, okay?
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Now let's get back to this show.
All right, we're back.
We don't need to get back into that history shit, right?
Fuck history.
It's over.
You know what I mean?
History's over.
History's over, dude.
History's over.
Right now we're making history.
Yes.
Okay.
So let's talk about how everybody got canceled.
Even inanimate objects got canceled this week.
Mr. Potato Head.
Finally.
Finally.
Yes.
This is one of those things where I'm like, are they doing this for the publicity?
Yes.
They have to be, right?
Like, this is, literally, the tranny shit is a button.
If a company wants publicity for something that is dying, right?
They literally have nothing to lose.
The product either dies or it bumps back into popularity.
So it either dies because nobody's buying it anyway.
It dies because of the tranny connection and people being really upset about it.
Or you make tons of money because all of a sudden Miss Potato Head gets cool.
I think it's kind of like TV.
It's a last ditch effort to guilt you into getting it.
Yeah.
It's like TV's trying to get woke because it's like nobody's watching TV.
So they're going like, here's the thing we can do.
Let's make people feel like they are morally obligated.
Yo, Giannis said this to me back in the day.
I thought it was so funny that like TV is acting like a nightclub that's going out of business.
Yeah.
Like when nightclubs go out of business, they start going, all right, here's Latin night.
Here's gay night.
Here's Spanish night.
They like tap into these really specific niche groups.
That's it.
And they're like, we're just going to get all the money that we possibly can, and then we're going to close the fucking doors.
Yeah, it's a final cash grab.
Yeah.
Final cash grab.
And you can see the numbers.
The numbers are just like.
But who's buying Mr. Potato Head for the wokeness of it?
So here's where I think they fucked up.
They should have gone conservative with it.
We're keeping Mr. and Mr. Mrs. Potato Head because we believe there's only two genders.
Liberals would cancel it, but they don't buy anything anyway.
Liberals aren't buying their kids' potato head, though.
That's a great point.
Conservative COL, these guys are sticking to their guns saying fuck you to PC culture.
I'll buy every fucking Mr. Potato Head proudly.
It's like the Goya Beans shit.
Bill Morgan Whalen, that shit.
Yeah.
All the way to the top of the country.
Yeah.
Conservatives treat things that support their values like Indians treat Indian comics.
They support.
They come out.
The country guy that said Morgan Whalen.
Yeah.
Yeah.
His fucking shit.
Through the roof.
Number one selling artist in the world, apparently.
To the moon, bro.
GameStop.
Yo, he don't fucking do it.
I mean, look at Jordan Peterson's book.
It's like 9 million or something.
I mean, he's selling millions of copies.
Yeah.
In Canada, it's like number one.
He sent me a copy.
Yeah.
I said, you want to come on the pods and talk about it?
And then the PR firm is like, well, I'll ask him.
I never heard back.
Yeah.
Not reading your book, Jordan.
Not until your balls drop and you sound like a man.
Well, let's talk about, you know.
Sounds like a fucking eunuch.
12 rules for life.
Let me say here.
It's about cleaning your room.
Clean your room.
Fluff your pillows.
You'll feel better with fluffy pillows.
I mean, we live in an era where you can sell fucking tons of books.
All you got to tell people is like, there's two sexes.
And people go, he's a genius.
Yeah, isn't that crazy?
The most famous philosopher on the planet by going, I think guys are guts.
How many dudes on the corner can say the exact same thing?
That's 12 rules for life.
Nothing.
Yo, if you got a pussy, you're a girl, I think, bro.
Hey, two rules.
Guys are guys, girls, and girls.
If you don't ignore that, if you actually don't ignore that one athlete that's three feet taller than the other ones and was born with a dick, you're a genius.
Peterson 12 rule book, like a Master P album?
Like he would just put more songs on his shit than everybody else because you would just buy it if there's more songs.
Jordan Peterson got two rules.
Guys are guys, girls, or girls.
But he's like, yeah, we need like 10 more.
Give it 12 so we can sell this book.
You can't have a two-rule book.
Yeah.
That's true.
Two rules is too little.
That's not a book.
I'm not investing in that.
12 rules.
12 steps.
12 steps.
12 is the number.
12 is the number.
12 months of the year.
12 months.
13.
How many disciples?
12 of them.
12 disciples.
Yeah.
How many inches of dick is Giannis missing?
12.
Yo.
12, bro.
Yo.
How many millions would have history hyenas made if we stayed together?
12.
How many is Chrissy going to make on his own?
40.
A hundo.
How many is Yannis?
What is Giannis going to be filing?
Negative 12.
12!
12!
That might be chapter 11, but that's close enough.
That is so true.
Isn't that crazy?
Like, nowadays, philosophers and thought leaders are just people saying common sense shit.
What does that say about society?
We've gone so far left or so far right that all you need to do to be an intellectual is say what you already feel.
Greatness is over.
In fact, the attack, the attack for in the name of morality is a great sentence to start with because what you're going to follow up with it has nothing to do with it, but I'm going to listen.
No, it's going to be good.
Okay, go.
I think I know greatness is over.
I just watched Tom Brady win a fucking Super Bowl at 43 years ago.
Yeah, it's over, bro.
Yeah.
I'll throw something.
Okay, go.
They attack the attack.
You're starting every sentence with greatness is greater and then just saying some completely nonsense.
When they attack you for something you did to try to make you morally pure, that in and itself is an attack on greatness.
Name me one person.
Morally impure, you're saying.
Impure.
Yeah, yeah.
They want you to be pure.
Yeah, yeah.
Name me one great person who was pure.
Michael Jackson.
Tom Brady's a great example.
Michael Jackson.
R. Kelly was Michael Jackson.
Yeah, absolutely pure.
Yeah.
Nothing is more pure.
Yes.
And the loins of a little boy.
Yes.
Hey, as a Greek, you would fucking feed him like tokens.
And that's how he achieved his greatness.
Fucking boy tokens.
Put it in the machine and watch him dance.
That's you're making my point.
Put it in the machine and watch him.
Tom Brady's a perfect example.
He left his pregnant girlfriend for Giselle.
Yeah.
No.
She tried to trap him.
So what?
You banged her up.
Stay like a he thought he could trust her.
So what?
You banged her up.
He votes Republican.
He's bad.
He's bad.
Right.
Yeah.
So that's another one.
That motherfucker knows how to leave a sinking ship, don't he?
He does.
He got out of what is there?
Bridget Moynihan.
He got away from her right in time.
He went to Tampa.
Yep.
I mean, this guy, I trust his decision making.
Yes.
And he was ballsy enough to make it.
He's not loyal.
How is he not loyal?
He's been loyal to Giselle.
No, he's.
Well, we don't know that.
She wasn't loyal to him.
He's well, we got to check his.
She lied to him.
She was like, Yeah, I'm on the pill, this, that, the other.
And then she got knocked up.
Who, Giselle?
No.
Oh, the other bitch.
Yeah, but he's not.
Yeah, I mean, she's just Google Maps face.
Nobody knows about her.
She has it Tom Brady's seed.
That kid could grow up to be something.
Yeah.
But he's not.
Does Brady not have anything to do with that kid?
Huh?
Is Brady not having anything?
That kid is always with him.
I don't know.
I assume that's one of his.
Brady should ignore him so he has a chance to be great.
So he has something to conquer.
Now that he's coddling him, the kid's not going to do anything.
He's going to end up being a DJ on drugs.
But if you ignore that kid, that kid ends up being great.
Look at Shaq.
Look at other kids.
Phil is my father.
He didn't have a real father.
So he became an animal.
He became one of the best players.
Shaq.
Shaq had a military stepdad.
That's what he did.
Yeah, but Phil but his father figured, but he didn't have a real dad.
Sean King, dad doesn't know mysterious light-skinned black guy becomes a great philosopher on the internet activist because he overcame obstacles.
In order to achieve greatness, you got to overcome obstacles.
Yeah, it is tough being.
Pure people don't overcome.
You can't overcome obstacles.
Jeff Bezos.
Jeff Bezos got one eye.
The other eye's evil.
No.
Jeff Bezos doesn't know his real dad.
He doesn't know his real dad.
He didn't miss it.
Steve Jobs, dog.
Steve Jobs.
Steve Jobs.
Does adopt it?
Adopt it.
Yeah.
Andrew Schultz, mother never hugged him.
Mother never hugged me.
There you go.
She will dance with you, though.
She will dance.
She will dance.
She did.
She will dance.
She will replace hugs with dancing.
Mom, it worked out.
See what I'm saying?
Like, greatness and greatness and morality are almost diametrically opposed.
Where are you going?
It seems like greatness and a lack of love are parallel.
You have to do some dirty shit in order to achieve greatness.
I don't know.
I don't know.
Dirty.
But I don't know if that's dirty.
I don't know if Tom Brady did his dirty.
Tom Brady probably was mean to his teammates, probably loved them a bunch.
Teammates love him.
Yeah, teammates absolutely love playing with him.
All right.
So this glory is going up.
I feel I love minstrel shows.
Michael Jordan because he was dick.
That greatest of all time.
You telling me Tom Brady's nice that no.
Tom Brady gets in your face and he yells, come on, dude.
Yeah.
No, I can do it.
You're harsh.
Yeah.
He's harsh.
But everybody loves him.
His teammates all love him.
Everyone loves Michael Jordan.
No, they don't.
Oh, no.
That's not true.
No, they did not true.
Well, then this, then my theory's wrong.
What do you want me to do?
How is greatness dead?
Huh?
So your theory is saying because they won't allow any moral impurity.
Yes.
So taking Kevin Hart.
It's like they're attacking people who are trying to achieve things.
Yes.
Like trying to take them down.
They fucking all started with Arnold Schwarzenegger.
And people, that generation, they start, you know, like fucking Bilbert has that great joke.
It's like, you don't think he's going to fuck his mate?
I mean, what are you going to do?
You're Tiger Woods.
You don't think?
You don't think he's going to do that?
Do what?
Fuck other people.
That should have been a question.
Causing the marriage.
We felt betrayed by Tiger because most of them were ugly.
Huh?
I think we felt betrayed by Tiger.
It means he's a feminist, son.
It means he fucking.
That's what we're not about.
He seeks depth.
Are you a feminist?
Absolutely.
Yes.
I think the biggest threat to feminism is women's taste in men, the guys they choose.
Ooh, I like that.
That's the biggest thing.
Keep going.
Keep going.
Yeah, they never liked the nice guy.
He's too nice.
They go to their girlfriend's like, I don't know.
He just, you know, he's just too respectful.
Yeah, like, I don't, it's no chemistry, you know, like, and then they'll find any reason.
Like, you know, he saw the shirt he was wearing.
It didn't match the wall in the bar.
Like, I like, I like Michael because, you know, he fucking, I can't, you know, he challenges me.
Right.
And like, you know, he's, he fucked my girlfriend.
So I got to get him.
You know, I got to change.
It's a con, I got to change him.
So do you feel like you have to be an asshole for your wife to love you?
I'm retired, dog.
I look down at my penis.
It looks like OJ Simpson walking.
It's just a retired.
He's got that old running back walk.
Just my knees hurt.
My dick is retired.
I'm out of the game.
Out.
I got dead.
Yeah.
You know that fucking retired running back walk?
It looks like that's my, I look down.
It's a grizzled vet.
You know, it's got fucking scars on it.
So you don't care if she's into you or not.
I got a wife.
I love my wife.
I love my family.
I wish you my type of success.
It doesn't matter what podcast you have or don't when you love your family.
Oh, wow.
It's the least interesting thing I've said on this podcast because comedy is about saying the wrong thing.
Gender Identity Based On Mood00:11:25
Yes, but you didn't answer my question.
What is your question?
Is do you feel like you need to maintain a certain It was Chris's fault, okay?
He wanted bigger things.
He got in a boat with Sal Volcano, but he doesn't know it's the comedy Titanic.
He's training in true comedy fans for fucking huge fat women with neck fat.
I just wanted to know if you had to be a jerk to your wife.
I just love you.
I was just joking.
That's the best deflection ever, though.
I'm joking.
That's a safer question.
Safer answer than the real answer.
Of course it's a joke.
What were you saying?
I'm sorry.
I've got my answer.
Thank you for watching Flagrant 2, everybody.
Mark, what else we got?
What else we got?
Let's go through a couple more feelings, no facts.
Yeah.
Do you want to pull up more of these stories?
Yo, Demi Lovato says gender reveal parties are transphobic.
Facts?
If you believe in trans people, a gender reveal party is transphobic.
Yeah.
Can't you have two, though?
Can't you have one when they're born and like do another one when the child decides when they realize what it is?
Yeah, when the child decides for himself.
I mean, the only pushback I would give her is that like 99.9% of the time, you're going to be right.
Right?
Like, maybe we don't have to get rid of.
That's my only thing with the trans thing.
It's like, we don't have to get rid of entire like celebrations or customs if 99.9% of the time, usually that's what it is.
Like the whole pronoun shit, like, why do you assume my pronoun?
Because 99.9% of the time, when I assume someone's pronoun in life, I'm fucking right.
Like it is the most right I've ever been about anything in my life is going, how are you, sir, or how are you, Miss?
Right.
I'm usually never wrong.
Matter of fact, in my life, I've never been wrong.
Right.
I've talked to trans people.
Yeah.
And when I see them, I'm like, okay, that's trans.
I'm not even going to say a pronoun.
Dude.
But what if it gets more sophisticated in the future?
Like people start identifying as different genders based on their mood.
So like when I'm happy, I'm like, I'm like a little bitch, you know?
I didn't feel she.
When I get hungry, I'm a fucking alpha male.
I want to eat.
Yeah.
You know, when I get fucking like caddy, I'm a female who used to be a male.
You know, what if it starts getting by mood?
And so I identify as different things throughout the day based on my mood.
Yeah.
So then maybe we should just tattoo our pronouns so I don't get misgendered.
Maybe we'll have little screens put on top of her head and the moon we just switch like, this is what I identify in, she, her.
Yeah.
Or just tattoo like a number or something on their wrist or something like that, yeah.
Pushing me in an oven.
Yeah.
You're taking a shower.
No, I'm just saying, like, this is the thing that, and we spoke about this, I believe, with the Capitol Riot shit.
It's like, if you believe what they believe to be true about the world, that these politicians are all like lizard people that are like feasting on like children and like drinking their blood.
Yeah.
Storm the fucking capital.
Storm it.
What are you waiting for?
If you truly believe that to be true about our politicians, I want to meet the people who believe that and decided not to storm the capital.
You fucking pussy.
Stayed at home.
Like you, you truly have invested your life in this and you're just going to let them run the country?
You're a crazy person.
The time for action comes and you sit at home, you're right.
If you believe those crazy things about those people.
So if she believes this to be true, right?
If she believes that, I guess, whatever you feel you are, technically a gender reveal party would be transphobic.
Yeah.
I don't know, though.
Go.
Because like, even if she does believe in what she believes, you can just say, oh, yeah, we're having a gender reveal party for our baby.
And then our kid grows up and then says, oh, I identify as a different gender.
And then you say, all right, we're going to do another gender reveal party.
That's too reasonable.
Yeah, like, are you worried you're going to convince the kid he's something he's not?
Yeah.
Like, the kid will know if he identifies.
Is insensitivity considered hateful?
Yeah, there's a phobia is fear.
Yeah, but I'm not scared of gay people.
So we use homophobia interchangeably with hate.
Okay.
Right?
Fair.
Like, you're not afraid of gay people, but or like people who hate.
Insensitivity is not fear-based hate or hate in general.
It's just if it's intentional, though.
Sometimes by being insensitive to somebody's plight, it could be seen as hateful.
I hear what you're saying, but I'm just trying to wrap it in.
No, I know, but you can't hurt a baby's feelings that aren't born yet.
You know what I mean?
We never asked the baby.
Yeah, but we don't need to.
It's not born yet.
It has no feelings to hurt right now.
Gender reveal parties.
You're baby phobic.
You are baby phobic.
Yeah, you're a little bit bad.
That's fine.
You know, I swear when I hear stories like this, I'm like, yo, Yannis is right.
Channeling can take it.
Do what you want.
Yeah, girl.
I'm tired.
We hired it kind of.
Dude, the Chinese gender reveal party shit is sick.
We're like, it's a girl and they just squash it.
Wrong answer.
Like a watermelon.
Allow me to every gender reveal, like, girl, girl, girl, girl.
There's a right answer everybody.
No one talks about that, how dope that is.
Like, if you're Chinese and you get like your side bitch pregnant, that you do have an out.
She's like, I'm keeping the baby.
And you're like, we'll see about that.
Looks like a girl to me.
There will be no gender reveal party.
It'll be a gender funeral.
Gender blender.
Jesus.
Yo, that's great.
Gender blender is so good.
Why wouldn't you want you annotating that for?
Hit that out?
That's a great line.
So, what did y'all think about Jeremy Lynn snitching on the motherfuckers calling him coronavirus?
Son, that shit is so funny, son.
How are you not going to call him coronavirus?
How are you not?
Like, if I know you're Greek and we're hooping, I'm calling you Kanidos.
Yeah.
Right?
100%.
You're a Kanidos, bro.
You see how he's backing you to paint?
That's how he used to be when he was learning how to paint or whatever they did in Greece.
What if we were Greeks?
Painters, sculptors?
Yeah, but they painted sculpture differently.
But that was the thing.
I mean, he just minimized it.
Wouldn't you guys know you got, I don't know, started democracy, republics, fucking architecture, algebra, goddamn.
Come along with that.
Like, I hate how people act like they invented math, bro.
Like, people didn't know what the fuck shit was before you.
That's it.
You think they were just looking at things going?
I don't know how much is on this table.
I'm going to ask two of them.
I got three.
I don't know what's happening.
Hey, how many goats do you got?
I don't know.
We haven't invented numbers yet.
I really don't know.
Should we do a training goats with my pelicans?
How can we ever go there?
That'd be impossible.
Where the Greeks still invent numbers?
The Greeks are so fucking arrogant to think they're the only people that could think of counting things.
We are the, we stole it from the Egyptians.
We are the Elvis of cultures.
Yeah.
We stole it from the Egyptians.
And the Egyptians, they're the only ones that learned how to count shit.
I think it's just them.
We invented triangles.
Shut up.
I think before that, it's aliens or something.
Nah, nah.
Anyway, how did we get to this?
I don't remember.
No, Jeremy Lynn.
Oh, yeah, Jeremy Lynn.
So Jeremy Lynn's out there getting called coronavirus on a court, right?
And he's not even in the NBA.
Of course, you're going to get called coronavirus if you're in the G League.
That's a bunch of guys that are dying to make a team, right?
They're making $30,000 a year, barely feed their families.
Maybe it was a compliment.
Like, yo, you're about to invade the league.
You're about to really take over.
Yo, coronavirus?
Son?
You're about to change the game.
Lockdown defense.
Yeah, lockdown.
He's changed.
It changed the course of history.
Yeah.
And honestly, defending him makes you out of breath.
You feel like you got some coronavirus chasing Jeremy Lynn around the car.
Yo, he never had a problem.
Son, he never had a problem being called Lynn's sanity.
Yeah, right.
Some people might say that that's a little insensitive to mental health.
Yeah, he's a veteran now.
Instead of calling him a veteran, you just call him a longhauler, you know?
I didn't understand what that was.
You don't know corona longhaulers?
No.
Oh, shit.
That's a good joke, actually.
Yeah.
That's good.
Yeah, that's okay.
I thought you were talking like truckers.
Corona long haulers.
Corona longhaulers.
That's right.
You can test positive for a while.
Yeah.
No, but that's true.
Like, isn't this some bitch-ass shit?
That's some real bitch-ass shit.
Like, you're playing basketball.
Almost everything's on the table.
Like, you can't be, there's no like M-word, that kind of stuff.
But like, kind of racist shit goes on a court.
Especially.
Bitch-ass white boy Luca got called that.
Bitch-ass white boy.
And I can't believe we had a whole fucking apology about that shit.
The NBA didn't make him do shit.
Especially if black people are the ones saying it.
They deserve.
They have like diplomatic immunity.
White guy calling him coronavirus.
They got diplomatic immunity.
Black people have diplomatic immunity like diplomats with crime.
Like, if you're going to call someone a racial surrender and you're black, you can do it.
Yeah.
He's got diplomatic immunity.
I don't know, though.
Diplomats now are getting anally fisted by the Chinese.
Yeah.
But it's still completely illegal.
Yes.
Nuke them.
Nukes.
Click, click, boom.
I like it.
I read Jeremy Lynn's statement, and a lot of the shit he was like, we're not going to handle the stand for this anymore.
I thought it would be more.
Who's we?
There's one of you.
Yeah.
There's one Asian.
Like Asian shit in America in general.
And most of it, I was like, this is a big deal to you.
It's like the way they're represented in movies or some shit like that.
It's like, bruh, talk about the hate crimes.
I'm with you.
Talk about treating Chinese Americans poorly because of the virus.
All right, cool.
And that is fucked up.
You want to do that.
You can't treat Chinese Americans poorly because of the virus.
You can't obviously do not, you know, any acts of violence against Chinese Americans is absolutely disgusting.
But we're going to call you coronavirus if we're your friend.
Like, you can't tell me I can't be racist with my friends.
What's the point of friendship?
What's the point of friendship if I can't call my Asian friend coronavirus?
That's a good point.
I've probably been calling Ronnie Chang coronavirus for about six months.
Ever since coronavirus came around, I'm like, Ronnie, why would you bring this here?
It's like, yo, man, you helped me move.
You were there for me when mom died.
But yo, are we really friends?
Because you never called me coronavirus.
You can't even trust it.
If your white friend hasn't called you coronavirus yet, can you trust him?
He's hiding something.
He's hiding something.
Come on, bro.
Just because he doesn't have any snapbacks on the black dudes, that's what it is.
Because he can't say anything.
Well, he could get dreadlocks.
Remember when he got his little dreadlocks?
I remember.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And Kenyon Martin's dumbass called him out.
Yeah.
He's like, that's cultural appropriation.
And then Jeremy was like, dude, you have eight characters on your neck.
I'm just saying.
It seems like some soft.
And then he goes, I'm not going to snitch.
I'm not going to say the exact person because ruining that person's life wouldn't be good.
So what are you saying this for?
Just like some victimhood shit?
That's all it is?
Yeah.
That was the beginning of it, I think.
Those, yeah, it's like, isn't that a celebration of the culture if you're doing something?
Especially if you're Asian.
I bet Black.
Are you calling him coronavirus?
It's a term of endearment on the basketball.
Yeah.
Wait, is he mad because of that or is he mad because he's for a disc, bro?
Like, bitch, hits.
Yeah.
Right?
But coronavirus, he's already back on defense.
Yeah.
Do you know what I mean?
Yeah.
All right, guys, we got to stop for a second because I need to make sure that your dicks are giving you the most value that they possibly can.
And frankly, I know for a fact that they're not because some of you guys out there, for whatever fucking reason, are not chewing it up.
Victimhood Shit And Snitching00:11:14
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Let's get back to the show.
Also, guys, we're both on tour, man.
Tickets are available right now.
You go to theandrewschultz.com and I would go there quite quickly because they're selling out fast.
He on some rock star shit.
Hey, man, things are pretty good.
Things are pretty good.
I'm liking it.
Salt Lake is sold out.
Columbus is sold out.
Nashville is sold out.
Atlanta might be sold out.
Raleigh might be sold out.
Look, go check right now.
We also got West Palm Beach, Phoenix, and Tampa.
Those are going fast.
The tour starts this coming up weekend.
So make sure you go there immediately.
We're not adding shows.
I would get those tickets right now, right now, right now.
And Akash, what you got coming up?
Yo, I am at Helium this week in Philly.
Not sold out.
Y'all got time to buy tickets.
We gonna get there, though.
March 4th through 6th.
I'm doing three Heliums, guys.
This is exciting.
March 4th through 6th, I'm at Helium.
March 18th through the 20th, I'm at Helium in St. Louis.
Helium in Philly, March 4th through 6th.
And we just added this.
April 15th through April 17th, I'm at Helium in Portland.
So guys, scoop up tickets.
Let's go.
Let's rock out.
Let's have fun.
Akashsing.com.
What else we got?
Give us another one.
Watch the Woody Allen doc.
Woody Allen documentary.
Should there be a statute of limitations for hip pieces?
No.
Like, can you just keep on profiting off of making hip pieces on people that were accused of things and then proven innocent?
To good point.
Like, there's no double jeopardy when it comes to, I guess, the conviction, right?
Like, if you are innocent, like, OJ cannot get tried again, at least not like criminal law.
Because he got away with marrying one daughter.
Yeah.
And now it's like, all right, well, you got away with one crime, so we're going to get you on some other shit.
So basically, what they're trying to say is this.
They're trying to say, I think it's like Woody Allen versus Dylan Farrell or something like that.
And allegedly, he molested his daughter, Dylan Farrell.
And they did some study, the Yale, this, that, the other, and they concluded that Dylan was not molested by Woody.
But then some shady shit happened where they like. threw out the records or burned the records or burned the evidence at interviews and all that kind of stuff afterwards.
And then the prosecutor said later on that he thought Woody did do it, but he didn't want to put Dylan through the experience of like going to trial and he thought it'd be really traumatic for her.
So obviously there's a lot of fucked up shit.
And then he marries this 14-year-old Asian chick or she's 17 or something when they get married, whatever it is, but his adopted daughter.
There's a lot of weird shit with Woody Allen.
Great Nathan McIntosh line?
What is that?
You can't adopt something and then fuck it.
You just can't.
Shout out to Nathan McIntyre.
You can't adopt something and then fuck Watts.
But did Cam.
You can, though.
You did it?
He did.
He did.
But people try to be like, yo, but she was old enough.
Yeah.
No, you can't adopt something and then fuck it.
Yeah, you're morally right and wrong.
It's not cool.
T didn't really sure.
He didn't technically adopt her, though.
Older dudes who have a sugar baby, that's the same as adopting them.
You take care of their entire life.
Yeah, but not when they're fucking three years old.
You get a sugar baby when they're a baby.
They're not young.
Yo, but Giannis made a good ass point.
What?
He never adopted her.
No, no.
It was Mia Farrell's adopted daughter, Mia Farrell and Woody Allen were dating.
They lived in different houses.
He was, I guess, kind of a father figure based on his girlfriend was her mother, but he cheated on her with her.
And then, let's be honest, they've been together now longer than most people who have appropriate beginnings.
Is that punishment enough that he's got to spend the rest of his life with this four so that we don't think Jews love Asians, man?
The Ivy League has been bringing Jews and Asians together since 1930.
Like, they really like, they go after each other.
Old cultures.
Ooh, you know, they're used to small penises.
They both understand algebra and all that shit.
It's a real, they just vibrate.
Like, people who are that smart fuck different.
Yeah, you know that?
Like, we're mediocre, stupid people.
So we stroke to try to get the dumb sperm up.
We try to give it a head start, and that's why we pump.
But because nature doesn't want us to reproduce, so we have to kind of help it.
Yeah.
But smart people like that just hold each other and vibrate.
He knows Kama Sutra shit.
You just vibrate.
Like when Mark Zuckerberg fucks, I assume her name's Mrs. Chow or Chang or some shit.
When they fuck, they just, they hold each other and vibrate.
And then God or nature just takes the sperm and shoots it in because they want to make more genius people because it's evolution.
They're smarter than us.
Yeah.
So they just vibrate.
They just hold each other like that.
I'm telling you, dog, I researched this shit.
Yeah.
Where'd you research it?
Internet, dog.
Internet got some shit out there.
Yeah, Internet's got some shit on there, bro.
Akash, is this true?
I'm starting to feel like Chris DeStefano right now.
What is that?
I had enough.
What's going on right now?
There's too many good jokes.
What are you doing about the Coma Sutra?
I don't know.
I haven't read the Common Sutra.
That's a waste, bro.
How have you not read the fucking one thing?
That's like a dude who's tall and you don't hoop.
It's like you're Indian, bro.
You should be a fucking.
That's the jujitsu of fucking.
You don't know.
Yeah, man.
But I'm going to do it.
You could have fucking vibrated.
You're going to have a whole things, dude.
Why wouldn't you be curious about your girl?
It's the jujitsu.
I do need it, but I probably can't do most of that shit.
You seen a couple of them pictures?
I would love.
What wild shit they're doing, yo?
Yeah, but that shit.
You have some comma sutra pictures.
Also, is it written or is it pictures?
You could study it.
It's the jujitsu of fucking.
It's like you could, you know, it makes you, you could get like a black belt in it and fuck good.
They figured out like the martial arts of fucking and we're all ignoring it because fucking we can't see past their food being spicy or whatever it is.
You know what I mean?
It's like, what's going on?
It definitely says there's a lot of Indians.
Yeah, they must have been doing it.
I'm right.
Yeah, and they're pieces too.
The women are fucking pieces.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I love that he feels that.
Each own.
Each his own.
You're like, he's got a flavor, you know?
You're like, no.
The nicest way you've ever handled that.
Ever.
Love Indians.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Smart, smart, Indian.
Funny people.
Funny people.
Great culture.
Great music.
Great spending.
Amazing, amazing culture.
Brilliant, smart people.
Akash is a good-looking kid.
Amazing-looking men.
Great eyes.
Eyes.
Yeah.
Phenomenal.
You know what I mean?
Nice sandals.
Women?
Mew ants.
That is an evil ass laugh.
It's like Dr. Evil on mushrooms.
Eyes are attracted to Indian.
No, I think Akash has put this in me.
You self-hating Sandra.
No, he loves Indian women.
He loves Indian women more than anything.
He'll only date Indian.
He married Indian women, but he'll only be with Indian.
But he hates it when white guys specifically date Indians.
So I think he put this in me in some way.
He like inception.
Practice.
Yeah, an allergy.
Yeah.
Because I love everything Indian.
Big fan of the culture.
Big fan of the people, obviously.
Love the food, bro.
Grew up on Indian food.
Right.
I mean, I grew up a couple spots when I moved to New York.
Boom.
I grew up a couple blocks from 6th Street.
We're a little Indian.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
But he put something in me.
He inception something.
Great cab drivers, too.
They're good at that.
I'm just mentioning something they're good at.
Yeah.
Overlook.
I mean, of all the things we can say about Indian, I don't think cab drivers.
Dude, if you need to get to LaGuardia in 42 minutes, they'll make it happen.
You'll fear for your life, but they'll make it happen.
When you go to India, you won't even feel like it's offensive.
No, I see how it'll be fucking nice.
Yeah.
Dude, we've been in and out of that trap.
Hell yeah.
They're nice.
Okay, family.
And white weight.
I'm saying much more successful things.
Get into a cab with a fat black white woman.
See how quick you make it to LaGuardia.
Just trying to make it equal.
She's half black, half white.
Do y'all remember when we were shooting the Schultz Studios sketch?
Yeah.
And they walked in.
And Chrissy says one thing.
I got caught.
I was like, all right, this is ours.
I laughed at 2020.
I think I've watched it.
I got to find a way to get it up so we can re-watch it.
Can you look to see if you can find it?
I'll find it.
Dude, Yannis says one lot.
I'm not even going to say it.
We'll get back to it.
When you had it, we'll get back to it.
I remember it.
But he basically had one of those brain fights.
Yeah, I just got hungry.
So, yeah, something's there, but I'm working on it.
Right.
I'm working on it, Akash.
Yeah, you don't got to, bro.
You be you.
No, you did this to me.
I probably, and I love it.
I'm not going to be accountable for what you did to me.
I'm so proud of myself.
Fuck.
You're going to hate Indian women soon, too, dog.
I love it.
I don't hate Indian women.
I love everybody.
I love everybody, especially women.
Every culture has beautiful women.
Everyone.
Every single one.
Everyone.
Except for San Antonio.
The world is full of beautiful women.
Shout out to Charles Barkley.
Yeah.
He called it.
He called it.
I went there.
I was like, holy shit, these are rough.
Dude, they are big.
I mean, they look like they have an actual city ordinance where they don't let you build more than three stories because if a fat woman goes to the top, she could cause a solar eclipse, dog.
They're like fucking planets.
They're circles.
Cause it's not an eclipse.
I'm telling you, buildings can only be so tall.
So you can't, because if they get too high, they block the sun.
These are big people.
You've never seen fucking people that big.
What's uglier?
San Antonio or San Francisco?
Okay, hold on.
We have the video.
I'll send it to you.
You have to send it to me.
But do we want to play it right here?
Can we play it right there?
Yeah, I'll be there.
San Francisco got to be.
It's a good one.
Oh, my fucking God, dude.
They don't take care of themselves in San Francisco.
I want to see this video.
I just want to make sure that we get this all out.
This is great.
You ready to go?
You need a couple more myths.
Okay, let's do another topic before we get out of here.
What more do we have, Marquito?
Lady Gaga situation.
We can move on for that.
San Francisco Injustice Video00:03:06
Zlatan or whatever?
Oh, yeah.
Zlatan versus LeBron.
Are you familiar with this?
Yes.
Zlatan Ibrahimovich is a legendary soccer player, has played soccer at the highest levels, has dominated at the highest levels.
I don't know if he's won a championship per se.
Did he win one of Barcelona?
Is there a guy in the World Cup?
Nah, that was Zenodin Zedan.
Okay.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Frenchman.
This guy's Swedish.
Well, he's like Yugoslavian.
Right.
Immigrant to Sweden.
Right.
Immigrants to Sweden, really tough life.
Grew up poor, street kid, found salvation through soccer.
So he's not like some rich Swede who's just yapping off.
And he's like one of the most cocky people on the planet.
And very charismatic.
And Levi jokes a lot.
People love him.
Yeah.
Charismatic.
And he basically told LeBron, shut up and dribble.
Yeah.
But he said, focus on what you're good at.
He's like, you shouldn't be involved in politics.
Don't say things about politics.
We'll get up in a second.
You look like him a little bit.
I'll take it.
I look like every Yugoslavian.
You do, yeah.
So, and then he basically says, focus on what you're good at, which is obviously the sport.
Don't involve yourself in politics because you don't know about it.
Right.
And obviously the knee-jerk reaction is, you know, LeBron is, I do my Googles, I'm research, I know what I'm saying, blah, blah, blah.
But I have noticed a transition in how LeBron frames his activism post-NBA China issue.
Right.
Because LeBron used to do what a lot of people do when they become activists, which they basically say, what is it?
Inequality anywhere is a threat to equality everywhere.
Or injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere.
Right, that's the quote.
Martin Luther King.
Yes.
And they take that and they take that premise and they attach it to everything.
And then they have to be an activist for everything.
And everybody's a hypocrite if you go further enough down the line, right?
Like everybody has the phone that's made by the slaves.
Everybody has the clothes that are made by the kids in the sweatshops.
We're all hypocrites.
You can't be a total activist.
You can't be a total vegan, a total animal rights activist because an animal has been doing something for you and you are connected to that abuse of that animal or of that human being.
So after the whole China thing comes out, I think it almost reminds LeBron that like, oh, there's certain things that he's okay, there's certain inequalities that he is 100% okay about for the right amount of money.
Like four millions of dollars, treat Chinese people however the fuck you want is basically what he said.
And then his focus kind of evolved to, I just care about my community and I'm going to stand up for my community, which I don't knock because it's literally the only real way to be an advocate or an activist without getting too much pushback.
If you go, I'm for equality over here, immediately you get dice apart.
If you go, yo, I just arrived for my team.
That's all I care about.
I know there's other people out there who got fucked up.
They got to ride for their team and get people to ride for them, but I can't solve all the world's problems.
I just got to solve mine.
I honestly think that's the safest position to be in.
It's the safest, but isn't there a point at which it's like, yo, they got fucking concentration camps over there?
Stand Up For Community00:03:11
Like, that's not...
You could be quiet about some crazy injustice.
Yeah, but what's LeBron going to do about that?
Especially if...
Same shit he does.
Say something.
Yeah, but exactly.
Say something.
The NBA makes a lot of money in China.
As part of his contract, he probably can't say anything.
Yeah.
You know, I guess what I'm saying is like.
Once you check that corporate money, dog, you can't have a podcast anymore.
These are all, come on, man.
We're all joking.
I mean, you know, it was a mutual decision.
Moonwalking.
No, but for real.
He doesn't even have faith in the moonwalk anymore.
He gives up having it.
Why did I think I was going to have to ask him questions to get it out?
Just let him talk about other topics.
He keeps on bringing it back.
No, but seriously, isn't it kind of the same thing?
It's kind of like he works for the NBA.
Yes.
The NBA makes a trillion dollars in China.
Everything makes money.
Movie business.
There would be no money in rocks movies.
Everything makes money in China.
Yes.
Because that's where the money is.
That's where the growing middle class is.
That's where everything is made.
That's where the Tiger Mom philosophy is.
That's where all the STEM research is being done.
They're just crushing us.
We don't want to admit it yet.
We're Jordan on the Wizards, dog.
It's time to hang out.
Stop, stop.
You stop, stop.
You're acting crazy.
Nah, them Demi Lovato stories make me think Giannis is right.
We're not going nowhere.
We're not going nowhere.
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Super Speciosa Discount Offer00:11:54
All right, guys, let's get back to the show.
All right, this has been far too long already.
But before we get out of here, I do want to talk about one more thing, and that is doing stand-up again.
We did these shows, Miami.
Thank you so much for coming out, man.
It's fucking unbelievable.
And thank you for selling out these shows so goddamn fast.
It is incredibly flattering, man.
Thank you.
And we did these shows.
We had great lineup on these shows.
Akash, Mark there, some Miami locals.
You know, Kyle Grooms pulled up, man.
Cisco was out there.
We got Will Lopez on the show.
David Lucas.
David Lucas.
My guy David came through, man.
We had Tony Hinchcliffe on another one.
So they were just fucking dope.
But I didn't realize until I started doing stand-up again how much time in my day while I was not performing that stand-up consumed.
Like I really forgot about that.
And the other day, I was just like hanging out in the house and I was just writing jokes again and like thinking about ways to get into jokes and added jokes and Segway.
And I hadn't done that probably in over a year because all the preparation for joke writing was for Netflix or for the rants or just for like ideas for the pod.
And I was having so much fun by myself just sitting down and thinking of like crazy ideas, right?
And the reason I bring it up is because when I wasn't doing stand-up, I would be really locked in when we were creating the rants or we're doing something when I had a task to do.
And then after the tasks, I'd be like, man, what should I fucking work on?
Okay, maybe I'll find a new project or maybe I'll put, but it felt almost like there was a void.
I forgot how much time and how much purpose stand-up gave me because there's never a time in my life now that I'm back to stand-up and before for the last like 13 years where something wasn't potentially a joke.
Something horrible that went wrong.
Maybe it was a bit.
Something incredibly embarrassing.
How do I turn this into something?
Ooh, that's a funny, that's a funny reference.
Maybe I could put that into something.
It filled my whole fucking day.
Like in the same way that people like who are trying to like save the environment, I imagine their whole day is figuring out new ways where they can save the environment.
It really fills you up.
It gives every second of the day some sort of purpose.
And it's not like active work.
It's not like building a house or something like that, but it's something to keep your mind occupied.
And I just remembered it was like, I don't know.
I think Mark, you said something.
It was like a long lost love or something like that.
Like you're reunited again.
You're like, oh shit, I forgot how much I love spending time with you.
And it's the time off stage.
I never, I forgot how fun off stage.
You know what I just thought of?
We don't even say, we barely said in the last year, yo, that's a bit.
That's on the podcast all the time.
Yo, that's a bit.
You got to make that a bid.
Yeah.
I think it's been particularly hard on us because we like stand-up is like an addiction.
Yeah.
It's like we've been in like rehab.
Yeah.
I just love that we're back as stand-up because we were talking about this last night, but like we're stand-ups.
Yeah.
That's the thing a lot of people don't realize.
Like we are stand-ups that do other things.
We podcast, we put out fucking clothing line, we'll do crazy videos, we'll do little viral content, but we are stand-ups.
That's what you do.
That's your main shit.
That's what we came up as.
This is, but it's not like we left it.
This is what we do.
It was forced out of our hands.
Yeah.
And I love the fact that we're all getting back into stand-up because it's just this reminder of what the real is.
You know what I mean?
Like it's very easy to create, I don't know how to like phrase this, but like it's very easy when you get away from the thing that we're all in together.
It's very easy to get lost in each of those things, right?
Like even for ourselves, like even when we were doing the rants and we weren't doing a stand-up, I was like, oh, this is really fun.
You know, this is like really cool.
We could continue to do this, et cetera.
And it was great.
Don't get me wrong.
I had a great time doing it.
But after doing stand-up again, it just was this, it just reminded me.
I was like, oh, oh, no, no, no.
This is the thing.
Because there's consequences.
There's a cost for something not going good.
It's even more of a thrill.
It's even more of a tightrope walk.
It's ephemeral.
It's also the hardest thing.
Like, I want to be the best at the hardest thing.
You're alone up there.
Yeah.
You got to do it.
You have to deliver it.
And it's so cool to be part of that.
There are other things that you could be the best at, but there is like, for example, if I do the best rant, that's not on me.
Mark was writing on it.
Robbie was writing on it.
FA, you know what I mean?
We had a team of people that are helping.
So it's like, but when you're up there and you're doing stand-up, man.
It's your own stuff.
It's a different fucking ballgame.
And it's the best thing.
It is fucking pure.
And it's connection with other humans in a way.
Like a laugh is like, oh, we all have that in common.
It crosses cultural boundaries.
It brings people together.
It's a unifier.
It's a unifier.
And I'm not knocking other things.
I think sketch is cool.
I like sketch is cool.
Acting's boring, but you can see some really cool acting stuff.
But like there's something about stand-up.
Especially in, like you said, we are stand-ups.
You either are a stand-up or you're not.
And you know, and if you are a stand-up, it's just, that's it.
There's nothing else.
Exactly.
If you're not a stand-up, you don't get it.
But like, if you take this from us and then we put us back there, it's like, oh.
And this will be telling.
Like, the motherfuckers that don't go back to stand-up, they were never stand-ups.
Yeah.
Right?
They were doing stand-up as a means.
to get somewhere.
And the motherfuckers that go back to stand-up, those are the ones that are the real ones.
Yeah.
So we're back in the game.
I just, it feels like we're back in the game, man.
I just love it.
We got to admit, though, it's changed.
What's that?
As far as like what can make your career, it's changed a little bit.
If you're a young comic coming up now, it used to be like, hey, get your stand-up on television or now it's kind of like, hey, man, use the internet, you know, and then, you know, do stand-up.
Yeah, are you explaining this to me?
No, I'm saying you.
I know, but I'm saying like, that's one.
A good idea might be to like do clips or like put your special out on YouTube.
But not even stand-up.
But it's like, you know what I'm saying?
It's like, I'm just saying one caveat to like stand up is back is that like we're kind of grandfathered in, but the kids growing up, are they as enthusiastic?
They get it.
They're more enthusiastic.
About stand-up?
Every one of these kids growing up has their own fucking DSLR camera that they're taking to shows that, you know, I have a Zoom that they can get the audio from the show.
They're cooking up their own clips.
They only know the internet.
They don't watch TV.
The new generation does everything themselves.
The new generation is the fucking, what is this three-headed monster or whatever it is?
They can edit.
They can shoot.
They can do absolutely because they understand that's what they need to do in order to be successful in this game.
That was the caveat I was saying.
It's like, you just can't only do stand-up the way we did to come up.
Yeah, but he's saying the new generation, they're already doing it.
Right.
They just get it.
There's more you have to do now.
Right.
That's the only difference now is you got to do more.
You got to be nice as fuck at stand-up and you got to figure out how to edit and you got to figure out how to shoot until you're successful enough where you can hire motherfuckers to do that.
And if you don't want that, you don't want to play the game.
That's what I, yeah.
Simple as that.
It's like these motherfuckers in the NBA that don't want a diet.
Yeah, you got all the skills, but you don't want a diet, bro.
You don't want to cut out bread.
You don't want it enough.
Why you got to do big baby like that?
Son, big baby don't want enough.
You're not spending a million dollars on your body, big baby.
Yeah.
You know, LeBron out here spending a million on his body.
Yes.
And if you spend a million on your body, you probably still be in the league making 15 million a year.
That'd be a good investment, isn't it?
I'll spend a million to make 14.
Yes.
Yeah.
I mean, you.
So I don't want to hear nothing from comics.
Oh, we have to do all this other shit.
You're lucky.
We didn't have that fucking, when we were young, we didn't have the opportunity.
We got to hope to get a special, hope to get something.
It's kind of crazy when you hear comics complain about it.
It's like, what do you want?
To go back to it when there's three spots?
And now it's wide open.
No, it's just lazy.
They don't want to be part of the game.
And it's all simple as that.
There are people who complain.
I remember seeing you sell out the Times Square Arts Center.
Remember the Times Square Arts Center?
Yeah.
I remember you selling that out with that.
And that shit was like, oh, that's what I want.
I don't want to deal with no networks, nothing.
I want that.
I want direct connection to the people and I want to sell out these shows.
And once I do that, I could have everything.
And then I saw you get Montreal and all these other things.
I was like, oh, everybody comes once the people come to you.
Oh, the people are the thing that you have to be connected to.
And everybody who I've, everybody who I've seriously fucked with in my career are people who have deep connections with the people.
Charlemagne, Duvall, you, you know, Rogan, all these guys that I'm really connecting with, they're all about people to creator connectivity.
No middleman, nothing.
And then if we want to go dance on Netflix, let's go dance.
Absolutely.
I'll take the people over there.
If we want to go dance somewhere else, then we go dance somewhere else.
That's fine, but it all got to come back to here and what's on stage.
And you took what you do and brought it to Netflix.
Exactly.
Which was great to see.
You know, it was like you were doing that already.
And they were like, we're buying that thing you're doing.
You know, so that was like, it's kind of a continuation of what you were already doing.
100%.
And we wouldn't have done it otherwise.
If we couldn't do the exact thing we wanted to do, we wouldn't because this is what we were saying earlier.
We owe it to the people who support us.
I can't lie to you.
I can't give you a product that is misleading.
I can't tell you that I'm this guy and this is what I stand for and then give you a product that is none of that.
I have to be flagrant.
I have to be, I mean, obviously I have to be funny, but I have to be consistent in what I'm, for lack of a better word, selling.
And the second you're not consistent is that's when they eat you alive.
I love it.
They go, you lied to me, bro.
I love when Jerry Seinfeld, one great thing he said was.
Jesus Christ, Jerry.
But remember, he goes, he goes, just give us the money.
Let us do it.
It was some, he was like, actors, they read other, it was like legion.
Yeah, he goes, we, you're talking to a guy who created all the jokes, went on the road, does a work, created his own career, and then you're telling, giving me notes on what to make it funny.
How dare you?
It's kind of dare anybody tell Seinfeld anything.
Yo, he's the goat, bro.
He's the goat, dog.
He's the GOAT, bro.
I love that motherfucker.
The show Seinfeld is iconic.
And every time you hear a story about a show that succeeded, you always hear like they, the people always say, like, Chappelle show, they go, we had to fight the network.
They wanted us to do this.
We did this.
It's like, let the comics just do it.
Yo, I feel that way until like I hire a contractor.
You know?
Yeah.
Like they're doing work on the house and I'm like, yo, why isn't shit done?
And they're like, oh, we're going to get it done.
It's like, no, I'm going to be all Mexican contractors, my friend.
They get it done.
You just got the wrong contract.
But you don't understand what I'm saying.
Like, it is different when you're putting up the money.
So I do understand that.
You got to prove your worth.
Right.
If you've created something before, then motherfuckers start to trust you.
If you created nothing, then you're going to have to put up with some notes.
If you've done nothing in your career and then HBO goes, we'd like to make a show around you.
Absolutely.
They're going to have a say.
If you've built your own show and then HBO buys that, then you get to say, yo, HBO, you paid me to do this thing.
Now get the fuck out the way so I could do this.
To that point, all jokes aside, Seinfeld was a hugely like a really successful stand-up.
Dan got his own show.
And then he's like, I'm going to do it my way.
And he hired Larry David, who was sleeping at his mother's house, had no job, walked off a Saturday Night Live.
He did it his way.
He did it with the guy he wanted to do it with.
There's one quote I love by Bernie Brillstein, who built it.
He goes, it's show business, not business show.
I was so successful because I had the best talent.
That's it.
That's the way I saw it.
Never did contracts.
He's like, if I don't, if you're not working, leave me.
I'm not doing my job.
He said, it's show business.
Yeah.
100%.
So it's like, it would be nice.
You know, networks should think about that when they do comedy projects.
Do you think those managers now are saying that?
Because they do nothing?
Seinfeld Did It His Way00:02:00
Who?
Most managers in general?
I don't know, but it is about in the entertainment business.
If you get the right talent, you're probably on the right path.
Just let the talent breathe and go, hey, just do what you did that made me want to represent you.
Yes.
That's probably a good way to go about it.
Yes.
Yeah.
Anyway, look, I love you, Giannis.
Tell the people whether they can check out Yanni Long Days.
Yeah.
We're now up on Apple.
Yes, we're up on everywhere.
It's Long Days with Giannis Papa podcast.
Please check it out.
It's up everywhere, all audio platforms, YouTube.
I often ask people who are promoting a podcast when they come on here to tell us one specific episode that you think personifies this show.
Last one, episode nine, called Headed to Miami Gardens.
Okay.
And the reason I say that is because it's daunting to take in a whole new podcast.
But if you go, this episode is what we do.
If you like this, you'll fuck with it.
If you don't, you won't.
And then don't listen anymore.
I think it'll help.
So the last episode is.
Episode nine.
It's called Headed to Miami Gardens.
Yo, check it out.
And obviously on Instagram, you're posting clips and they're funny and you must be doing some green screen work or something like that.
Yeah.
Looks good.
And I'm working with my buddy Jesse against that.
Shout out to Jesse, man.
Yeah.
Tell Jesse SA what up.
But we love you.
We support you.
And I'm glad that you and Chrissy are still friends because we love Chrissy too.
It's all love.
It's all love.
And, you know, obviously we're going to, you know, bust balls.
And I know that, you know, Reddit and shit is going to try to make more about it than it is.
But listen, we've known each other for over a decade.
It's love.
We want everybody to succeed, feed their families.
We would have loved for you guys to continue going.
We're fans of the podcast, fans of what you do.
We try to support as much as we can.
So maybe in the future, we get you guys to cozy up again.
That would be great.
I mean, we cozy up anytime.
I mean, it's all love.
So we'd go on podcasts together, do whatever.
That's a good thing about breaking off earlier than later.
That's the because you can come back.
That's later.
Yeah, you just.
Like I said, we kind of both knew.
And, you know, we just kind of went like, let's do other stuff.