Flagrant - Andrew Schulz & Akaash Singh - Schulz Says Sexism Saves Time | Patreon Sample
Aired: 2020-09-11
Duration: 07:18


=== Uncensored Patreon Clip (05:54) ===

[00:00:00]  What up people Sheltie here and you guys are about to listen to a clip from our weekly Patreon episode if you want to sign up to our Patreon support the flagrancy support where we are doing completely uncensored flagrant content.
[00:00:11]  You go to patreon.com slash flagrant2 with no more interruptions.
[00:00:16]  Here is the exclusive clip Can I just say something real quick?
[00:00:25]  Y'all ever forced yourself to be open-minded and then when it backfired you're like motherfucker If I just trusted my goddamn prejudice, I could have handled this shit so much easier last night Robbie and I are here working on this thing that I can't tell you about it just yet, but you guys will know in the future We're going to stay we order some food right from this Mexican spot.
[00:00:46]  I order it on postmates, right?
[00:00:48]  So postmate is going to collect it.
[00:00:50]  It's not the delivery from the actual place, right?
[00:00:54]  I get it.
[00:00:54]  All right, we'll put the order in.
[00:00:56]  It says, Elvira is going to get your food.
[00:01:00]  I go, Elvira.
[00:01:02]  That's odd.
[00:01:03]  I go, how's this bitch going to get my food?
[00:01:05]  On a bike.
[00:01:07]  I go, a girl delivery?
[00:01:09]  I've never seen a girl on a bike.
[00:01:10]  On a bike?
[00:01:11]  She's going to get my food, right?
[00:01:13]  Now, my initial feeling is, this food ain't getting here, yo.
[00:01:18]  That's my initial feeling.
[00:01:20]  But I go, instead of canceling the order like my loins are telling me to do, I go, you know what?
[00:01:25]  Let me just give her a fair shot, right?
[00:01:27]  Yeah.
[00:01:28]  It starts pouring rain.
[00:01:30]  I mean, like torrential downpour.
[00:01:32]  Oh, yeah.
[00:01:32]  Remember yesterday it'd be torrential downpour, right?
[00:01:35]  I go look at the app.
[00:01:37]  I'm like, let me see where this bitch is, man.
[00:01:41]  This bitch is just sitting under the bridge.
[00:01:44]  Not the bridge.
[00:01:44]  You know, Broadway, where the Williamsburg Bridge turns into the highway?
[00:01:48]  I can see you're just sitting under the overpass.
[00:01:51]  The tacos are ready, Elvira.
[00:01:53]  Let's get to tacos, right?
[00:01:56]  She's literally just sitting there, right?
[00:01:59]  I know it's raining.
[00:02:00]  That's part of the job.
[00:02:01]  You a piece of shit.
[00:02:02]  That's part of the job.
[00:02:03]  You signed up for this.
[00:02:04]  It's outdoor behavior.
[00:02:05]  I agree.
[00:02:06]  He's a piece of shit.
[00:02:07]  Nah, I agree with him.
[00:02:08]  What happens if the football players don't want to go on the field during the rainy game?
[00:02:12]  So did you see how much it was pouring yesterday?
[00:02:14]  I did not see how much it was pouring yesterday.
[00:02:16]  Get a fucking shit.
[00:02:18]  It was like hurricane type rain.
[00:02:20]  Like, you wow, son.
[00:02:23]  Nah, bruh.
[00:02:24]  Nah, but.
[00:02:26]  Let me back this up.
[00:02:28]  Let me back this up, right?
[00:02:30]  I knew she wasn't going to do it.
[00:02:31]  She's going back and forth.
[00:02:32]  I call this bitch, right?
[00:02:34]  One ring, click.
[00:02:36]  I go, this bitch is not just hanging up with me on my motherfucking food.
[00:02:40]  My motherfucking food is just waiting at Tacomi.
[00:02:44]  You know how much of a bitch hungry Andrew is?
[00:02:46]  Oh my God.
[00:02:46]  So if I watch him melt down when he's like, oh my God, I go, I send her a text.
[00:02:51]  I go, let me just text.
[00:02:52]  Maybe she's, you know what?
[00:02:53]  Maybe she's driving.
[00:02:55]  Maybe she's biking to go get the food.
[00:02:56]  Let me just send this bitch a text, right?
[00:02:59]  No response to the text.
[00:03:00]  So you know you're getting a call again.
[00:03:02]  Yes.
[00:03:03]  You know you're getting a call again.
[00:03:05]  I call one ring.
[00:03:06]  Click.
[00:03:06]  I go, this bitch done fucking.
[00:03:09]  This bitch done fucking.
[00:03:10]  Quit my goddamn bro.
[00:03:12]  I didn't you bitch.
[00:03:13]  I try to call post face.
[00:03:14]  Post face don't even let you call them up.
[00:03:16]  Literally cancels my food an hour and 15 minutes in.
[00:03:19]  She's off the map.
[00:03:20]  I was right.
[00:03:22]  I knew.
[00:03:23]  Listen, and it was just my prejudice because she was a woman.
[00:03:26]  I knew a woman would literally be looking at herself like, why am I biking in the rain?
[00:03:30]  It still gives me tacos?
[00:03:32]  I got pussy.
[00:03:33]  What the fuck is wrong with me?
[00:03:33]  I was doing this to get a couple extra bucks.
[00:03:35]  It was nice out in the summer.
[00:03:36]  I just wanted to feel some breeze on my bike while I deliver some tacos, make a few extra bucks.
[00:03:40]  That's not going to happen when it's raining.
[00:03:42]  A man?
[00:03:43]  A Mexican man?
[00:03:44]  On the Elvira?
[00:03:45]  Yo.
[00:03:46]  Elvira?
[00:03:47]  My food would have been there, bro.
[00:03:49]  My food would have been there.
[00:03:50]  And he would have recommended a better taco spot to get them shits from.
[00:03:53]  But Elvira?
[00:03:55]  She ain't doing it.
[00:03:56]  She ain't doing it.
[00:03:57]  Nah, they can't put up with that discomfort.
[00:03:58]  They can't.
[00:03:59]  It's not in their bodies.
[00:04:01]  We've taught ourselves to be a man, you got to suffer.
[00:04:03]  That's what manhood is.
[00:04:04]  You go through shit and you keep walking.
[00:04:06]  Walking off.
[00:04:07]  Go through the rain.
[00:04:07]  Don't be a bitch.
[00:04:08]  And girls are out here like, oh, it's hard to wear heels too.
[00:04:10]  Come on, man.
[00:04:13]  Come on, hell.
[00:04:14]  We don't need to compare all this.
[00:04:16]  Hard to wear heels, too.
[00:04:18]  You know what I'm saying?
[00:04:19]  You know how hard it is to decide whether or not you need to posture up with a guy who's looking at your girl because she's wearing them heels.
[00:04:24]  You know how hard that is?
[00:04:25]  You know what I mean?
[00:04:26]  You ever see a big-ass dude look at your girl?
[00:04:28]  You'd be like, all right, he's just looking.
[00:04:31]  He's more than looking now.
[00:04:32]  He said nothing disrespectful.
[00:04:34]  Put your dick away, bro.
[00:04:36]  Come on, bro.
[00:04:37]  Put your dick away, bro.
[00:04:38]  Why are we taking out dicks?
[00:04:40]  Why are we taking our dicks for?
[00:04:41]  What's the purpose of that?
[00:04:42]  Nah, I'd be like, maybe his dick was hot.
[00:04:44]  You know what I mean?
[00:04:44]  Yeah, why are you getting offended by this man?
[00:04:49]  Stop body shaming.
[00:04:50]  Man, his dick is sweaty as fuck.
[00:04:52]  You know, you just start cooling his dick out.
[00:04:54]  He's just wafting some air over his dick, man.
[00:04:58]  Cool this dick down.
[00:05:00]  All I'm saying is sometimes prejudice works.
[00:05:03]  Yo.
[00:05:04]  And I would have just canceled it right away.
[00:05:05]  And you know what I'm going to do in the future?
[00:05:07]  Ladies, I'm sorry.
[00:05:08]  If you're on a bike and you're delivering my food and you're a girl, I'm canceling it.
[00:05:14]  If you're in a car, I'll let you deliver it.
[00:05:16]  What if she got tattoos and short hair?
[00:05:21]  Are you implying that she's a lesbian?
[00:05:24]  I mean, she ain't far from a dude.
[00:05:29]  I still don't think she can make it.
[00:05:30]  Here's my thing.
[00:05:31]  You can't tell she got tattoos and short hair from the pick.
[00:05:34]  You can tell probably she has short hair.
[00:05:35]  But if she did, if you knew she did, what would you do?
[00:05:38]  If I knew she was a lesbian, I'd let her deliver it to me.
[00:05:39]  Yeah.
[00:05:40]  You think she can thug it out?
[00:05:42]  Without a doubt, not even a question.
[00:05:43]  100% a lesbian could deliver the food.
[00:05:45]  I'll hold a lesbian up to any expectation I hold a man up to because she's gonna go that extra mile to prove herself.
[00:05:53]  That's G.I. Jane, bro.

=== Canceling Female Delivery (01:23) ===

[00:05:54]  Yeah.
[00:05:54]  It's like that Chappelle joke where like the white dude and a group of black dudes is the scariest one.
[00:05:58]  Oh, yeah, yeah.
[00:05:59]  Because there's no telling what he's done to get those black dudes respect.
[00:06:02]  Yeah.
[00:06:02]  That's that lesbian, bro.
[00:06:04]  That's that fucking lesbian, bro.
[00:06:06]  You know what I'm saying?
[00:06:08]  Holding her farts in so her clip pops up.
[00:06:10]  What?
[00:06:11]  What?
[00:06:12]  Yo, you know they like them big clips, bro.
[00:06:15]  You ain't never seen a lesbian plug her farts or clip kind of blows up a little bit.
[00:06:20]  Come on, stretching that shit like she's making balloon animals.
[00:06:23]  You know what I mean?
[00:06:24]  She'd be stretching her clip out.
[00:06:26]  You know what I'm saying?
[00:06:27]  Someone make a little toy poodle and stretch the balloon first.
[00:06:30]  That's what she does with her clip, and then she tucks in a fart, shoots out, bro.
[00:06:34]  Come on, y'all don't know about this.
[00:06:36]  Y'all never learned about lesbians, y'all.
[00:06:38]  Nobody told me about that one.
[00:06:40]  Y'all gotta watch the P-word, bro.
[00:06:42]  What's the P-word?
[00:06:44]  Pussy, I guess, dude.
[00:06:45]  I think, what else could it be?
[00:06:46]  TV show?
[00:06:47]  Yeah.
[00:06:47]  I didn't know it's a TV show.
[00:06:48]  That's what I'm asking.
[00:06:49]  L-word, you fucking idiot.
[00:06:53]  Like, what the fuck is he talking about?
[00:06:54]  I don't know what it is, bro.
[00:06:56]  It's called the L-word.
[00:06:58]  Yeah, the L-word.
[00:06:59]  What does that stand for?
[00:07:00]  Lady?
[00:07:03]  All right, guys.
[00:07:04]  You just listened to a clip from our weekly Patreon episode.
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[00:07:11]  Keep it tight and keep it flagrant with us.
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