Andrew Schulz and Akaash Singh debate Adele versus Beyoncé's racial identity, analyze Kyle Rittenhouse's trial through a "white lives don't matter" lens, and mock Chadwick Boseman's public death. They dissect Brad Pitt's open marriage, discuss San Francisco restaurants using bubble pods due to economic pressures, and criticize banks for profiting twice on PPE loans while blaming Jeff Bezos for lobbying minimum wage hikes. The episode concludes with a critique of Luka Doncic's flagrant fouls and praise for Barack Obama's economic advice strategies. [Automatically generated summary]
Transcriber: nvidia/parakeet-tdt-0.6b-v2, sat-12l-sm, and large-v3-turbo
|
Time
Text
Resting on Our Laurels00:15:20
Hello, everyone.
There's been a new introduction to the podcast.
We need to raise the stakes.
Okay, it needs to get a little bit more intense in here.
We are resting on our laurels.
You're royal.
I don't know what just happened right there.
What are we resting on?
Because my brain was telling me, I need Neuralink.
My brain was telling me to do it.
Yeah.
To say laurels.
Yeah.
And then it just did not come out.
And I tried three times.
Anyway, point is.
I'm not saying Mark's saying Dunkin Donuts.
Yeah, he can't say Dunkin' Donuts.
I say it normal.
So Mark does say Dunkin' Donuts normally, but we started a little thing to make him think that he says it weird.
This is all before the podcast.
So shut the fuck up so I can introduce this thing, everybody.
Anyway, we have this Nerf gun here, okay?
This Nerf gun is filled with exactly three bullets.
Okay?
These three bullets represent three fuck-ups by somebody on this podcast.
Okay?
That could be Akash.
That could be Alex Media.
That could be Mark Gagnon.
That could be Andrew Schultz.
Okay.
Upon a fuck-up, a Nerf bullet might fire.
But keep in mind, Mr. Akash, see?
Keep in mind, Alex, me and keep in mind Mark Gagnon.
You run out of bullets.
There's nothing you could do.
Okay?
Well, we don't know.
Maybe we'll amend that rule.
But at the moment that I'm making the rules up as we speak, there's nothing that you could do when you run out of bullets.
So make sure when you're saying your shit that it's on point.
That doesn't mean you can't be wrong.
Yeah.
Wait, what?
Doesn't mean you can't be wrong.
You could be wrong, especially when we're doing feelings, no facts.
Okay?
If you say something I don't like, then you could get shot.
Okay.
That's all.
Al, Al, I swear to God, Al.
Al, I swear.
Give me what?
Enough of being shot.
Oh, I abused this one.
Enough of this shot.
Black Lives Matter.
This is Alex's idea.
Alex is like, we need to restore order.
He said law and order.
He said we need to restore.
You know, heat over here.
I'm out here in the turquoise.
What color is this?
I'll take it.
Seafoam.
Seafoam.
I'm out here in the steep foam.
I'm chilling.
Women's green.
I got women's green.
I'm wearing my girl's sweatshirt.
This is what it is.
Say what brand that shit is.
Sporty and rich.
Sporty and rich.
I'm not afraid.
I'm not moving out of New York, Seinfeld.
You know what I'm saying, Akash?
It's good to see y'all agreeing on something.
That's it.
We're good.
We're with it.
I don't know.
I'm agreeing what you said.
I didn't even hear it in its totality.
Fix your brain today.
Son, I don't know what happened.
Alkash put something in Dunkin' Donuts.
I'm turning Indian.
I try to say laurels.
This shit came out bippity bippity bippity.
Yeah, but I bet you can spell everything you can't say, though.
Son, I don't even want to go into that story.
Maybe later we go to the bottom.
It's worth mentioning at home.
We also all have guns.
Oh, yeah.
Everybody has a gun.
Yeah, you didn't say that.
Well, if I said something wrong, you could shoot me.
See what I'm saying?
We'd be shooting you the whole episode.
Maybe.
Maybe.
Oh, had that pretty conveniently loaded up.
Al, okay?
A little peaceful protest.
That's what it is.
Okay.
What, Al?
Al got a Kyle Rittenhouse tattoo.
Yo, Al got, you remember your Kyle Rittenhouse tattoo?
Shut the fuck up.
Remember that little pudgy white boy that shoots so many people at the market?
He got a Kyle Rittenhouse tattoo.
That kid is chubby, bro.
Yeah, he got some little titties, bro.
You know who Kyle Rittenhouse is?
He's a kid that was protecting his fatality.
He got a Kyle Rittenhouse tattoo.
Kyle Rittenhouse was out there with his prepubescent chest.
You know what I'm saying?
Trying to protect a gas station from dangerous whites.
Before.
Okay.
He was protecting you from dangerous whites, Al.
Okay.
Because you know how them whites get down?
And what did he start to do with them whites when they was bucking off?
Well, he do killed them dead.
Yeah, he killed a couple.
He killed a couple whites dead.
Oh, he killed white people.
He killed white people, bro.
That's what I'm saying.
Now, let me ask you this: that's proof that all lives don't matter.
That is proof.
Wait, what?
White protester lives do not matter.
White Black Lives Matter supporters do not matter.
Hey, Joe.
White Black Lives Matter supporters do not matter.
Because Kyle Rittenhouse shot and killed a couple white people.
I think he shot one more white guy.
This motherfucker hates white people, bro.
Yeah, but the group that was.
Which side is he on?
That's why I don't white people.
You're a white conservative.
Wouldn't you hate white liberals more than black people?
Holy shit.
Yo, fuck you.
First of all, you traitor.
Second of all, you mad, annoying.
Third of all, shut the fuck up.
Everybody's like, yo, he went there to kill black people.
No.
I went there.
What he pointed out.
No.
Okay, easy.
Okay.
No.
He wanted to kill annoying people.
He wanted to kill annoyance.
But that's just like what you say.
You don't trust Hindus with white names.
I don't trust Indians with white names.
Indians with white names.
And that's what conservative whites don't trust whites that are out there at the Black Lives Matter march.
So Kyle Rittenhouse was like, hey, it's on and popping.
Started bucking off on whites.
They're dead now.
Now, this gas station.
Are you happy?
R.I.P. Al lies.
Ooh.
Al lies.
That's what you just said.
Al lies.
You see?
Because he doesn't care if they rest in peace, Al.
Yes, I do, of course.
What are their names?
Say their names.
Say their names, Al.
What is it?
What does the ally shift get you?
Say their names.
We're not going to disrespect them like that.
You know, let them rest in peace.
What are their names?
Peter Patrick Paul.
If we say him three times.
Cupid Pumpkin Eater.
We say it three times.
They're going to be a little bit more.
Almost one goddamn time, Al.
I swear to God in the name.
What's going on?
What happens if you say it three times?
All over Wonderbread appears.
We're not going to laugh.
Bakery pops up in a rough neighborhood.
Nowhere.
We're not going to laugh at this.
Kyle Ray in the house is a murderer.
Murderer.
Right?
I'm just saying, whose side claims him?
I mean, it's kind of clear.
What?
It's kind of clear.
He was killing the white male patriarchy, bro.
But the side that's paying for his lawyer fees and shit like that, I think they're the ones that side.
The right.
The right is paying for it?
Yeah.
They're paying for his lawyers.
Are they really?
Yes.
Are you positive?
Yes.
Are you sure?
Ali knows his shit.
I was listening to it daily.
There was a fun started for him.
Yeah.
Oh, they started a funds.
Do you remember who started that?
It could have been George Soros.
Oh.
You know who he is, Al?
I know, actually.
Yeah.
You got to get on a little YouTube wormhole if you want to figure out about that.
Is George Soros real?
I've never seen a picture of this guy.
Bro, I don't know who that motherfucker is.
That's just who's he's like the big bad guy on the left.
You know, the Koch brothers are the big bad guy on the right.
Right.
He's a big bad guy on the left.
He's Professor X, Koch Brothers, or Magneto.
Right.
That's all it is.
Okay.
George Soros out there funding all your shit.
Yo, cocking the gun is almost more fun than shit, bro.
100%.
Because you let motherfuckers know it's about to go down.
You would think they would make guns that didn't need that.
Oh, they need that.
Why?
Because for that exact reason.
Oh, to like set the target.
Oh, that shit.
Yo.
Bro, that's like when a snake rattles his tail right there.
He's about to go down.
That's when you tear the condom.
Yeah.
Yeah, I'm about to feel nothing.
You see that?
And neither are you, bitch.
It's just the both of us.
Look at each other, stone face.
I got to try fucking with a condom again.
It's been so long since I fucked with Connolly.
How long has it been, bro?
Hit it tomorrow.
Throw back Tuesday.
I might have to throw back Thursday that shit, for real.
My bro, I haven't had sex.
She's going to think you're cheating.
No, no, no, no.
She not.
She is.
Yo, my girl hit me with this shit the other day.
We were walking in.
She's like, do you think that we're going to have problems reproducing?
I go, why?
She goes, well, I'm not a pillar or anything.
Like, we haven't ever used condoms.
Whoa.
And I said, girl, if you don't watch your mouth, I get you pregnant and prove a point out of this, bitch.
She said, you old fucking shit.
You're not swimming no more.
I'm out of here.
Listen, you still make about to be drunk.
On the outside, on this side, it's going to be lathered.
You know?
She's trying to bait and switch you.
That's what she's doing.
She trying to bait and switch.
Oh, you won't.
You won't.
Oh, my God.
Where's she at?
She's smart.
I like that.
You got a couple shots to fire up in there.
About 3 million.
Give her always a little waxy coating.
But for real, that's disrespect.
But then whose side is she rooting for?
Because she said pre-come has come in it.
And like I've stayed on this podcast many times.
You can get pregnant from pre-come.
You can't get pregnant from no pre-come.
If you come and then don't pee, then there could be sperm in the pre-come if you go.
If you go round two.
You know, round two.
We're not worried about that over here, bro.
What about round two?
Why does you Puerto Ricans?
Sometimes it's time to stop salsing.
Come on, bro.
You can't run it back.
It needs to be one round and then you're out, but that's exactly right.
You fuck.
There's still some cum left in your dick, right?
Because you ain't toothpaste it.
Yeah, if you go.
Or piss after.
You got to go go-gurt.
You got to go go-gurt.
Yeah.
Ooh, drip, drip.
Drip, drip.
No, that's that drip.
You never go-gurt that shit out.
Come on.
Son, Mark is 14 years old.
You don't even know about all these fruit snacks and such.
Motherfuckers still drink applesauce out the little thing with the top to screws off.
He got the applesauce pouches.
I love those.
Those are actually mad good.
They're delicious, bro.
And they're really easy to travel with.
And I thought applesauce was good for you because I thought it was just apples punched.
Yeah, it's apples, I thought.
But it's not.
It's not, yo.
What does it have in it?
Mass sugars.
Sugars.
That's cool.
Oh, shit.
You would think the apple would be sugars enough?
That's healthy.
Uh-huh.
You thought, didn't you?
We all thought.
Shit.
But it turns out no.
Okay?
A lot of things have been turning out no lately.
Al, you've been all up on this fucking CDC.
You've been all up on that website.
You didn't share that information, the truth that came out about it.
What happened?
What the fuck are you talking about?
You know what happened when they've been lying to us about Corona?
All right.
This whole time?
Liberal Al?
What's coming next?
No.
What's coming now?
Listen, I went to the doctor to see.
You can tell Drew Mark have been in some warmth.
He's not even involved in this.
I went to the doctor to check on my finger that I broke a long time ago, but I never got fixed.
What kind of doctor?
I had a doctor that was Indian.
Okay, valid information.
Okay.
Yes.
That Sweden guy really handled you like that?
What Sweden guy?
When he sideswiped you?
Your finger's still broken?
No, this is from a skirmish with my brother.
Okay.
This happened over two months ago.
My finger's still not straight.
I can't tell my brother.
It was a skirmish, bro.
It was a skirmish.
Mark, you put that gun up in the air one more time, I swear.
I might fire a warning shot.
Okay, okay.
Anyway, so there's this skirmish.
Ah, gosh, you know about the skirmish.
My finger, I believe, is broken.
Everybody's saying it's sprained.
I go to the hospital finally because I can't bend it all the way.
I can't protect my girl from the New York that's about to happen, which is quite dangerous.
I can't make a full fist with this hand.
Okay.
This shit comes out a little bit.
Like I'm about to frank underwood a table.
This is darn it.
This is how girls make a fist, girls.
That's how my thumb goes down, bro.
I think they think if it's pointier, it's going to hurt more.
Like, girl, girls want to fight like this.
Nothing hurts your feelings, like Al when he hits that laugh.
Yeah, that shit disrespected me, bro.
That shit really disrespected me, bro.
Hey, bro.
Hey.
Oh, man.
Anyway, calm down now.
So, I'm at the doctor, Al, and you were holding out information.
I know you ain't going to shoot just like you ain't shooting in your shorty.
Oh, shit.
I mean, I should be like you.
I'll be like, did I come?
You know how the girl used to ask, did you come here?
I'll be like, did I?
Pulls out Go-Gurt.
Oh, my God.
Okay.
Now.
I brought that up myself.
I did.
Wait, were you talking about now or before?
See, you did.
So, so.
All right.
I'm at this hospital, right?
I'm getting my finger checked out.
Clearly, I broke a bone.
That's the type of force I punch with.
I broke up, snapped the bone right off my bone.
It's called an abrasion.
Is that how he said it?
Right?
Al, hey, hey, I got right.
That shit is.
Is that how he said it?
Bro, it's called an abrasion.
That's what you got.
I chipped the bone right off my bone, bro.
Oh, Ward.
Yeah.
Oh, shit.
It's called an abrasion.
I didn't know that.
That was an abrasion.
Yeah.
You better brace yourself for this information I'm about to give you right now because you're like serious.
You lost a legit piece of bone?
Piece of bone came right off my bone.
I don't know where that shit is.
Well, it's in there.
Abrasion is just a scrape.
That's what I thought an abrasion was.
Apparation?
Operation.
Suck.
I don't know.
It was one of those shits.
It was severe.
It's an operation in Harry Potter when you go from one place to the other.
Shut the fuck up in this.
He was India.
You didn't know he was.
Yeah, he could have said anything, really, at that point, right?
So my man told me how much I fucked my shit up.
I had to go get the x-rays and all that.
Then he starts telling me his political views.
I got a feeling he's listening to the podcast maybe before, maybe or not.
Maybe he's seen some of the weekly pieces.
I'm not certain, but he felt very comfortable talking to me about the world as he sees it.
Guy said that what's happening right now with coronavirus is a coup.
This is a doctor.
Ooh.
A coup.
He's a cuckoo.
You think?
Al, Al, Al.
I got to shoot you for that.
I really got Al.
Go to the wide.
You're not an Indian in your life, Al.
Don't point me.
First shot fired.
Oh, was he in the wide?
Yes, we did that in Slow-Mo.
I got him right in his fucking nose, bro.
All right, first shot fired.
Bro, okay, ready?
Yeah.
That was just, that was that.
That was that.
I'm mad you did that to my friend Al.
All right, relax.
We're not doing retaliation shots, okay?
This is how, this is how things get dangerous.
This is Monagu Capulet shit.
We got to stop it right now.
Truce.
No, truth.
Hey, Truce, bro.
It's a truce, right?
You ever do that to your brother?
Hey, anyway.
So.
Hey, that's why it's still angry at me to this day.
Okay.
So the guy says this is a coup.
We should have opened up months ago.
He thinks it's a coup to get Trump out of office.
First Shot Fired00:14:26
That's what he was saying.
He goes, he tells me this, he goes, 94% of the people that got Corona didn't die from Corona.
They had comorbidities that other situations were causing them to die.
Only 6% die from Corona.
Did you know that information you didn't want to tell it to us, Al?
No, I didn't know that information.
And you didn't?
You did?
I did.
And you never thought that you could share it with us, did you?
What are you talking about?
You're just going to go to your wedding.
You're just going to go to your wedding.
All of us were terrified.
Son, you shit 12 times a day.
So, if you get the corona, you're going to have like floods of shit flying out your ass.
So, let's not take that chance.
You get sick every other week.
So, you get Corona, it might not be good for you.
I'm just saying, I'm speaking facts out of you.
Say that shit with the children.
Now, I know y'all pull a trigger.
Now, I'm a little worried.
I was a thug and shit.
Just like, yeah, he's gonna shoot it.
For real, dude.
I remember as it hit you, you weren't even ready.
Like, it hit you, and you stood for a minute, like, did he just shoot the fuck out of me?
Anyway, point is, this guy's saying that fat people are really the cause of corona being an epidemic or a pandemic.
Didn't we know that, though?
It's all pre-existing shit.
Yes, but I didn't know it was 94%.
I didn't know that fat people were causing the fucking world to go down.
It's not just fat people, it's fat people, bro.
For the sake of this podcast, it's fat people.
Now, pile on, everybody.
Do what fat people do to themselves.
Pile the fuck on.
Do what they do to their plate in a buffet.
Pile on.
Now, but for real, we were talking about this yesterday.
The one thing, the one reason why it's always been messed up to make fun of fat people is because it's self-inflicted, right?
The fatness only affects themselves, right?
Now, we could tease and be like, oh, it fucks with our flights.
You know, they're, you know, whatever next to us and touching us on the subway, this, that, the other, all these other fucked up things.
It's annoying to look at.
I don't know.
You can pick whatever you want.
You know what I'm saying?
It's just whatever.
Okay.
I can't find a mask that fits your whole face.
Touching on the traits.
No, when that thigh hits your thigh, bro, then their shit is mad hot.
Turn cold.
Launch your thigh out.
That's your problem.
But it's not touching someone else's thigh.
You never had a fat person's thigh touch your thigh, and the top is fucking hot.
The bottom is cold because they don't have that good blood circulation, hot pocket ass thigh.
You never had that experience on the subject.
I can't have.
Well, I have many a times, Al.
Sorry, not all of us drive a Tesla.
You fucking shit.
Bro, you're blowing all your bullets so fast.
You're right, bro.
Heard that bait?
Heard that bait?
Heard that thing?
It could happen.
Point is, we've never been able to make fun of fat people because what they did only hurt themselves.
That was the idea.
Right?
It was a victimless crime being fat.
The only victim was you.
Okay.
Now that we know that they just caused global economic collapse and that they're putting massive pressure, not only their weight, but actually like structural pressure on our hospital and medical system and taking ventilators away from people deciding not to just eat Oreos their whole life and actually killing people for being fat.
I think we can make fun of fat people now.
I didn't want to agree until you said that last line.
The ventilators, right?
No, now we can make fun of fat people.
So I feel like if we can make fun of fat people, I'm willing to agree with pretty much anything.
I think it's all good.
They know you used to be fat.
I was a fat.
You were a fat.
My genes are supposed to be fat.
I'm not sure what I'm saying.
Somebody might call them sweatpants.
I'll shoot myself, God.
I'll shoot myself.
Go, go, go, go.
No, so I just understand that it's not something that you necessarily have to do.
Most of us cannot be fat.
That's right.
How did you stop being fat?
Shame.
A lot of shame.
You know what I mean?
A lot of family telling me I was fat.
I don't know.
Every time he would see me eating, I would stay at his house pretty much all summer.
Every time he'd just be like, God, enough of that.
You're going to lose weight.
He just says, God, it just, oh my, you're going to eat that.
He was disgusted.
Yes.
Yeah.
Just come on.
Just grab your stomach.
Indians don't give a fuck.
You get enough shame.
You're like, I should do something about this.
So maybe instead of this, like, love is love shit, all these fat models stomping down the runway.
Maybe what we do is we start going, stop killing everybody in the world from Corona.
One, you, ew, two, ew, and three, stop being selfish and taking up all the ventilators.
You need a ventilator just to walk down the street.
You already owned it.
You would have got corona.
It's called a CPAP.
You ask me.
Real talk, imagine that.
You need a ventilator just to sleep at night.
And then you're going to go take a ventilator from a skinny person that got Corona.
It's more emotionally good for you, I guess, to be nice, but it's physically better to shame them.
And now you got time to work on the self-worth issues because you're going to live longer because you're not fat.
Exactly.
We got to do the right thing, Mark.
Which is?
You tell me.
Click, click.
Click, click.
No, for real.
What do you think the right thing is?
What do you think the solution is?
If you get it wrong, I'm shooting you right in your fucking massive eyebrow bridge.
What a target.
That should be casting a shadow on Al.
What a thing to make fun of.
I don't even know what the fuck an eyebrow bridge is, son, bro.
You don't know this shit all that way?
He got that Nander.
Yeah.
You don't know this shit?
Neanderthal.
That's how he knows so much.
We're not a fucking Wikipedia.
Information is pushing your shit forward.
I got an Easter Island head.
When I was born.
When I was born, it looked like the fucking guy coming out of the ground, bro.
This shit got caught right here.
His mom is doing math.
Every Bill Steele documentary.
She's just like, is that his shoulders?
What the fuck is going on?
What the fuck?
Shut up.
That shit hurt, bro.
That shit was frozen.
More of that came from me.
He frozen.
Yeah.
Yeah, you better watch out.
Oh, my God.
Why'd you do that, Mark?
Because you were making fun of my giant-ass forehead.
Not even that giant.
We just got to make fun of something, Mark.
Oh, that's a rule that you didn't know about.
You can take bullets shot at you and repurpose.
God, get the fuck out of there.
Can you get it?
No, you can't, son.
No, you can't, Mark.
Put that shit down.
Put that shit out of it.
Put that shit down.
Oh my God.
That was terrifying.
That was absolutely terrifying.
The way that y'all caved up on me like that.
Yeah, it's been cycling.
Goodness gracious.
I felt like I was eating dinner outside in Washington, D.C. Y'all don't know what that is.
Black Lives Matter.
Remember the girls just trying to have some Caesar salad?
Was she doing this?
No, she wasn't doing that enough.
And they were like, say, Black Lives Matter.
And she was just like, I just didn't want to eat parmesan.
You didn't see the picture?
Nah.
Oh, man.
Fuck, dude.
What do you whack off to, bro?
It's a psycho.
He's psychos.
No, but for real, is there anything else that we want to discuss when it comes to obesity?
I mean, sometimes it's not their fault.
Whose fault is it?
Systemic.
Yep.
Systemic oppression.
Well, some people might be like, oh, well, Al goes, yeah.
You don't even know how he's talking about it.
You don't even know.
So you just hear that sounds broken.
You hear the buzzwords?
Yeah.
We want to change when we would.
Now?
Yeah.
Get ready for the buzzwords, bro.
Bro, that's fucking funny.
Okay.
Okay.
Listen, if it's not their fault, what are you talking about?
You want facts or feelings?
I want feelings, Mark.
God damn.
We'll get to the facts later.
All right.
Well, the feeling.
Did a single fact come out of your fucking noggin, bro?
I swear to God.
No, no facts.
No facts.
Go.
It's a lot of pressure.
I know.
Most of this is definitely not a fact.
Sometimes a feeling can be factual, but that's not its intended purpose.
Are you pointing at me?
Shut the fuck up, Mark.
Extend your arm, Al.
Extend your fucking arm.
Extend your fucking arm, Al.
He's dead.
Mark, you want to turn it on the minorities real quick?
Yo, you think that's what black people should do?
You ever seen Brad Pitt in Fight Club?
Where he just starts beating shit out himself and nobody knows what to do?
You think if cops just started, black people just started hitting themselves when cops came around, they'd be a lot gentler.
You know what I mean?
They'd be like, oh, man, you're already doing our job for us.
Yo, just throw these cuffs on.
No need for extra brutality.
Yo, that's a good solution, bro.
That is an interesting thing.
What would you do?
You just punch yourself right in the face.
You're all going to go hard, yo.
I mean, well, they're not going to tackle you if you already tackled you.
Exactly.
Yo.
Strategy.
That's one strategy.
Good work.
Yo, our guy's trying to save black lives.
Al, what are you doing?
I've been out here, so fair enough, son.
Yeah.
Al took a little break from his black lives saving to go to the kit store and get his drip on point.
Maybe he looted it.
You never know.
Maybe you never know.
Al, you have been stepping it up.
All your kaleidoscope shirts.
You got Kif fucking drawers, sweats.
I miss going to the women's shop, man.
I got to get to shop with my girl.
Like a forever 21 and shit.
That's the only store y'all don't break into.
I got to go into that shit.
That looks like it's her size, too.
No, this Alyssa XL, bro.
Don't diss me.
I got bodies.
Get out of here.
Put your hands up, right?
Put your hands up right now.
I will push the elevator button so nice.
I will corona push an elevator right now.
Me man closes door.
Boop.
What the fuck are you going to do?
Penthouse?
Boop.
Not penthouse.
Not penthouse.
Nah, you got to get that fixed, son.
If you get into a fight, you're...
Oh, my God.
That's what I'm saying.
I'm trying to protect my girl, but I can't even do this.
Yo, is it?
I've been trying.
I got a punch like that.
Oh, yeah.
I got a Hadook and motherfuckers out of here.
Just you karate chop them?
Ooh, yeah, that could do that.
New York finna be that wild, do you think?
Nah.
Yes.
I think it's going to be a little wild now.
Nah.
I think it's going to be a little wild.
Maybe.
I don't know.
It'll be a little wild.
No, you know what I don't get about rich people?
Yeah.
They're moving out of New York, right?
Why not just pay the dangerous people to go?
Right?
Like, it seems like that's cheaper, right?
Like, instead of buying a whole new house, selling your house, like, moving all your furniture, give me all your money, be like, I got a proposition.
Yeah, just go.
I'll give you all my money if you leave.
You go.
I'll give you the money.
You go.
And then when Cornwall, I have a rental property.
You can save it.
This makes perfect sense.
Because let's say it costs you a million dollars to move out of the city.
How much is it going to cost that guy?
You lost a million.
You got to move.
Moving sucks.
Sucks.
That shit sucks.
But you could probably get a thousand homeless people to move out for a while.
It's not the homeless people that come at you.
They're homeless.
They're chilling.
So wait, who is it?
It's the bad guys, bro.
It's the gangster.
How do you hear how uncomfortably Al acted?
How does he answer this question?
He said, bad guys.
That's like bad.
Literally, Al literally goes.
You're going to say a buzzword.
Click, click.
No, but for real.
That's what it is, bro.
I think we got that.
You pay motherfuckers to move out the city.
Al, you don't think that the guys that are out here robbing on the regular wouldn't like a nice vacation from Robin?
No.
Yeah, I think they would.
They deserve it.
They deserve it.
Yeah, they work hard.
They work hard all hours, mostly night.
Yeah, they do night shit.
This night shit.
Yeah, that throws off their whole circadian rhythms working those hours.
You know what I mean?
They're sleeping through sunlight.
That's terrible for you.
Say circadian with a ball.
I swear to God.
You got one mother left.
You got one mother left.
You said you're not.
You gotta be wired with your video.
You better use that one.
There's no shooting back right after you get shot.
You just make rules as you go.
You can't do that.
That is uncomfortable for everybody involved.
And I shot your titties.
Yeah.
I shot your titties.
Yeah.
Last two minutes.
I'm leaving.
I'm in sorry.
Oh, man.
No, but for real, you need to get shot for even bringing up circadian rhythm.
Okay.
All right.
I'll accept that.
You don't have to accept what's coming.
I'm not going to accept.
How are you going to talk about circadium, bro?
Black Panther just died.
You're going to be talking about his most precious metal?
What?
What?
You can't be talking about his most precious metal, bro.
He's taking that long nap, though.
Son, come on, bro.
I can't cope hot, cope, Al.
What the fuck?
I ain't saying nothing.
Do you think?
I'm just saying.
Laugh with the pain.
Like Kevin Hart said, don't do that shit.
Don't fucking make me look like an asshole.
Yeah, he's trying to make you look like an asshole.
I'm going to make you look dead.
Kyle Rittenhouse ass, bro.
Fuck that nigga.
You know what I'm saying?
You're just Kyle Rittenhouse's whole shit.
You've been written housing.
Said Rand Housing.
I'm Rittenhouse.
You are Rich.
You're not a white guy with a big gun, right?
Great timing, Drew.
Great timing.
Nah, in all seriousness, though, in all seriousness with the Chadwick Bozeman situation.
I had to step into studio two the other day and fucking weep a little bit, bro.
Making You Look Like an Asshole00:02:08
It was so sad.
While we were at work?
While we were here at work, you were in here research napping or whatever you do.
Yeah.
Robbie was out there.
And then what did you do?
I went into studio two and I watched the last scene of Avengers.
You know, not the last scene, but when they take out Thanos when all the guys go, it's Flash Tear Jerker.
The first person to come back to help Cap is Black Panther.
So he steps out of that little circle that the Chinese man made, probably Wuhan fucking virus right there.
Stepped out, said something, we got your back, this at the other.
And I was like, oh no, bro, that shit got me.
It's too sad, man.
It was sad.
And it's so fucking sad.
I've been thinking about why it's so profoundly sad.
Yeah, I can't figure it.
It's like Kobe level sadness.
You know what I think it is?
I think it is that, one, it was unbelievably shocking.
Like we had no clue.
In the same way with Kobe, right?
It seemed like someone who was invincible and all of a sudden gone.
But the age is so close in proximity to ours that we felt our mortality a little bit.
At least for me, I was like 43.
It started four years ago.
That means he already had it prior to four years when they found out.
Bro, he probably filmed fucking the Black Panther with that shit.
2016, that movie came out 2018.
Damn sure while he's doing press and everything, he knows.
We saw him at the All-Star Game in 2018 or 2019, whatever it was.
Is that right?
Yeah.
He got this huge ovation because, you know, they're like showing the stars.
And Black Panther had just come out.
He got the biggest ovation by far.
He just seemed like, he didn't seem like phony or whatever.
He just seemed like humbly smiling or whatever.
And it was just like, oh, he seemed like a decent dude.
That's, I'm not, I'm just whatever, but like, bro, something about it just.
We had no idea.
I think that's the thing.
He hid it for so long.
I think he was just starting to enjoy like peak fame where like he's a superstar in the making, but he also actually really seems like to care about acting and about the art.
And a way that I don't think most of them do.
Something about it, man.
I think all of it added together.
Plus, what he meant for black people, like Black Panther meant so much.
How many times do you see it?
Three times.
The Kobe Ovation00:15:37
I just, I just.
And that ain't shit.
Yeah.
That's not even that many.
Real talk.
That's very white of you to only see it three times.
Yeah, man.
It was just something, man.
I was like, colon cancer that I have in my family.
And I'm 36.
He's 40.
He got diagnosed at 39.
He got diagnosed at 39.
That means he probably had it at 38.
That means I'm a year and a half away from when he had it.
Yeah.
I think that shit hit me like, oh my God, bro.
Like, I think another thing happened in Corona times where it's like, oh, you just died from Corona or police brutality.
Those are the only deaths that happen.
And then we saw this other death that would be normal-ish pre-Corona.
Yeah.
But now seems so out of the blue.
And it's just like, oh, yo, yo, yep.
Yeah, dude.
It just, oh.
When you start learning about a lot of the things that he did, like, he would go to children's hospitals that were actually dying from cancer as well.
As he's dying from cancer.
All right, we're going to take a break for a second because I need everybody to get their balls right.
I need everybody to get their dick right.
I need everybody to get their pubic hair.
You could damn near see my pubic hair through these shorts.
You're welcome.
Okay.
You're welcome.
Okay.
Talking about what pubic hair?
It's groomed.
Oh, you're right.
You ain't got no pubic hair.
I'm Manscaped my old shit.
Listen, lawnmower 3.0.
I mean this 100% sincerely.
Stop acting like girls don't give a fuck about your pubic hair.
Your shit got to be on point.
You should got to be right.
You want these girls to be bald and you out there and your shit is just straggly all looking like J. Cole.
You want dick looking like J. Cole?
Is that what you want?
Girls looking you like, who that?
Okay.
You're not getting none of this pussy looking like J. Cole with your dick.
You need to shape that shit up, get it nice and tapered.
Have your dick looking like Bobby Schmurda.
Do you know what I'm saying?
Your dick look like Bobby Schmerd.
You would take that condom, throw that shit right in there.
I'm telling you, you need that Manscaped lawnmower 3.0.
It's not a fucking game out here.
I get it all in, shave everything up, have it looking absolutely beautiful.
You get the trimmer inside the perfect package 3.0, which also includes the Manscaped crop preserver, ball deodorant, the crop revival, the ball toning spray, both super practical.
They smell absolutely amazing.
And for a limited time, when you order the perfect package kit, you get two free gifts, the shed travel bag.
I use it from Manscaped and the anti-shafing Bosta Brees.
I use them as well.
I'm telling you, all these products, you're going to get 20% off and free shipping when you use Flagrant 20.
That's our promo code at manscape.com.
It's flagrant20manscape.com.
Get your balls fucking right.
Let's get back to the show.
Get your asshole checked.
That's all I'm going to say.
Son, I need to.
But do you think there could be any cancer that stays in my asshole?
Yeah, probably.
Do you don't think it'd be flushed out?
Yeah, there's nothing in your asshole.
No, I think more likely because it's constant shit.
Just always, you never give it a rest.
Give your asshole a rest.
Plus, you had that, Hemi.
Yeah.
Yeah, I mean, you got asshole problems.
Yeah.
Yeah, I think we got to document that.
You got to go get the I should go get my pap smear or whatever it is.
What is it called?
Colonic.
Nope.
No.
Colonoscopy.
Colonoscopy.
Just an anal check-in.
Rectal exam.
A rectal exam.
And you got to get the fucking time.
You got to get the finger up there, too.
Say again?
You got to get the finger up there.
That's a prostate check.
You got to get the prostate.
Yeah.
You got to do that.
Bro, you know, I scratch my ass pretty deep.
All right.
When I go in there, I scratch my ass pretty deep.
Okay.
I like scratch through the underwear sometimes.
Dude.
Right?
Scratch it nice and deep.
Like you'll rip your underwear?
No, no, no, no.
But like I push the underwear into my butthole a little bit when I scratch if there's like super itch down there and I just scratch around it.
I like to scratch my ass.
I'm into that.
So you just be having like a big dark shit spot on you.
On my underwear?
Yeah.
Always a dark shit spot.
Son, it's to the point where, like, I have black underwear that I've seen a stain on.
That's a wild.
That impressed me.
That's a wild.
Like, I reversed the color of the underwear.
You're women with a clean ass.
If you go up, you're going to come down with some shit.
You're going to come down with some shit.
Yep.
So I had that, and I do that often.
I'll forget that I even do it.
And I was cuddling my girl last night and I was spooning her from the back.
And I put my arm around her to like hold her like that.
And then she goes, Did you just finger your ass off?
I go, what?
And she goes, your hands smell like you just punched shit.
Oh, my God.
And she smelled it right through, dude.
You're the nastiest wife.
That's nasty, right?
You're a Mark.
Don't know me and Mark.
Nah.
Nah, you are too.
No, but he got better.
Yeah.
You?
I shower.
I wore this exact same outfit yesterday down to the shoes with no socks.
Take that, Al.
Draws?
Say again?
Same underwear.
I'm going to switch my drawers.
That's a step up from Mark.
What did Mark do?
He'll repeat drawers.
No, I changed the whole outfit.
And no shower.
That's the big thing.
You said you do.
How do you repeat when you don't have underwear on?
And secondly, he doesn't wear underwear.
You don't remember that?
Like, every day?
I thought it's just when you run out.
He's uncircumcised.
Got underwear.
What do you need underwear for?
We got to wear underwear so shit doesn't crawl up in our dickhole.
He got that fucking thing ziplocked.
Is it true with sweating and shit?
No, is it true, Foreskin that, like, if you line it up right, you can just like ziplock it.
Is that true?
Like you do that?
And then it's done, your little package of almonds.
Yeah, you can do that sometimes.
But look, he's a fully foreign person.
Okay.
I'm just a kid.
I'm just a kid sometimes.
And sometimes I don't shower as much as I need to.
Yo, you want to know some wild shit?
Mark's been lying about his age.
Oh, I know that.
You knew that?
Yeah.
How about that?
He's 28 years old.
And he's been far like he's 23 years old.
Dude.
Wow.
Mark.
Wow.
Mark.
Mark.
Seriously?
Be honest.
What?
Be honest.
You're like, yo, I'm going to take five years off my age.
Thomas Dale.
Thomas Dale.
We have a friend that did that.
He actually knows how they did that?
No, yeah.
He didn't want people to know he was 63 and he was hanging out with us.
This guy's fucking 63 years old.
He had one of those fucking HIPAA shits or whatever.
A-A-R-P.
I didn't know you were going to.
Al know.
Al speaks my language, bro.
Al knows what I mean when I say the exact opposite shit.
It's weird.
Oh, man.
I'm 23 and I wear underwear, okay?
I just want to say that.
Yo, Mark is 28 years old.
That's Canadian, bro.
Canadian 28.
Canadian offends me more.
I thought he only took like two years off.
Nah, he's 28 years old.
Walking around like he's 23.
Just walking around.
You just strolling.
Strolling around all 28 years of you, huh?
And what benefit would that give to me?
Well, I think we should have a little discussion about that because next weekend he will be getting married to a bride, right?
Who is 23 years old, no?
22.
22 years old.
The only problem is he's been dating her for eight long years.
Yeah.
That's why you gotta lie about your age.
Oh, well.
So how?
Looks like we got a little oopsie days.
You don't wait.
Wait.
Nah, you gotta clear this shit off.
What's going on?
I don't know.
I'm about to clean it up.
I gotta clean this shit up.
My desire to clean up.
I will show you.
There's an ID.
What is an ID?
Nah, we gotta see ID.
Got a CID.
But can we even believe it?
The kid wasn't even born in America.
Oh.
Oh, that's a good ass point.
You don't know.
He's even just a point.
He's mid-36.
He's nice as fuck with Photoshop.
He could have fixed his whole fucking ID and also his passport.
Wow.
Why would anyone believe this?
And we always be wondering how he gets away with so much with this girl.
Oh, because he groomed her.
He birthed her.
That's his daughter.
Dude, we're figuring it out.
That's the most Florida shit you ever done in this fucking studio.
Bro, he is following the footsteps of another great comedian.
Woody Allen's.
Oh.
Oh, my fucking God.
Oh, my fucking God.
And what evidence do you have to support that I'm not the age that I say?
All the evidence.
All the evidence I need.
I got it right up here.
Right in my heart.
Mark.
I don't know about that.
I know it in my heart, Al.
I know it in my gut.
I don't trust your gut, bro.
I just don't trust my gut.
No.
I trust his gut.
Thank you, Al.
He got a good gut.
He's just 10 times a touch.
Exactly.
It's pretty clear.
You know what is cleaning out?
Lies.
Lies.
Clearing out the lies.
Clearing out the lies.
I think we're clearing up a lot of stuff here.
I think we are clear.
We're clearing up a lot of stuff here, Mark.
So your age is TBD.
Okay?
What?
Your age is TBD.
All right.
It's TBD, bro.
You don't know what that stands for?
I don't know.
I'm trying to figure out something else besides Tuby Determined.
Keep thinking, Andrew.
Keep digging anything.
Oh, gosh, you got anything for me?
Nothing.
Too big, son.
Damn.
Too big.
Two big dicks.
No, I can't give him that.
Why not?
Did you tell them the story about two big dicks?
You mean like two 14-year-old post-People Becky Dicks?
Come on, come on.
Guys, my mom listens.
Stop.
Hi, Mrs. Gagnon.
Does she really listen?
No.
She listened to garbage.
Oh, my goodness.
Why would you suck me?
The fuck up.
The fuck you call this shit?
Yo, don't you have.
You set me up, son.
I think my shit is.
Wow, I see.
I see.
I got you next stuff.
How many bullets you got in your gun, yo?
You got too many.
Nah, this is the perfect amount.
Take the motherfuckers out.
Yeah, my mom wouldn't listen to lies, okay?
And actually, that's what you're doing about me right now.
It's not a lie.
That shit watching him on listening to me.
You're not going to be a fucking fucking mom being 23, you fucking liar.
You're a 33-year-old man.
33-year-old man, son.
Look at his sneaker choice.
He dresses like the years he was born.
What's your fucking 70s retro?
You know, skateboard issues.
He knows all this other stuff about the past.
Oh, you do have a mad shit about the business.
You should never have seen it.
I just exactly.
Oh, Wikipedia.
Bullshit.
You lived it.
You might be the oldest person on his podcast.
You might be.
Well, I determined that before when I said I was old, come.
So his thick-ass eyebrows, all that is just some Botox to hide the wrinkles.
Oh, oh, my God, son.
Mark is actually old.
Yo, you do have some old-ass eyebrows.
What does that mean?
Like, if you were the thinker man, the fist would be like, you looking like Collie Kaepernick.
You can't even make a fist.
You couldn't even be a thinker man.
You were trying so hard for the bitch.
Oh, my God.
I'm busy.
Too bad your dumb hands got an abrasion.
And I was broken.
I think it was stronger than it was abrasion.
What?
I think it was stronger than abrasion.
I don't know.
A Brogan?
Is everything Joe Rogan to you?
You got to put Rogan and everything.
A Brogan?
Dude, a Brogan.
That's what he got to call his fans.
That's true.
Brogan.
Brogan's is good.
Yeah, that's nice.
Oh, shout out to Rogan, man.
The first app on Spotify is today.
Let's go.
And yeah, and he showed pictures of the studio.
It's fucking sick.
It's different than the ones I showed y'all before.
It's like red and got these crazy statues.
It's just fucking sick.
The studio, it just looks like it's in like a trailer.
I don't know what it's in.
He probably got mad at it.
The shape of it.
Yeah, Imagine if that shit was mobile.
Oh, fuck.
That's the movie.
I understand what you're saying.
Yeah.
Breaking bad for podcasts.
Yeah.
He's had shit on the RV and take it everywhere.
That would be fucking amazing.
He got the baldie.
Yeah, that'd be kind of fire.
I don't know if he's leaving Texas, but that would be kind of fire.
He could.
He could.
I'm stoked for it.
I'm stoked for it.
Anyway, what else?
What else, guys?
What else going on, Al?
Rest in peace, Chadwick Boseman.
Yo, rest in peace, though, Chadwick Boseman.
Real talk, man.
That shit was absolutely fucking tragic.
Tragic, man.
It was really tragic, man.
Maybe I'm not tapping the main vein of like why it was so tragic, but maybe I just don't want to believe.
Maybe I just don't want to believe that anybody can get cancer.
I've had so much cancer in my family, and for some reason, it's normalized within my family.
But I guess in my mind, I'm like, nah, when you're rich and famous, you get to beat cancer.
When you're rich and famous, you could beat murder.
Why can't you beat cancer?
And this guy had every single resource at his fingertips.
He probably had every expert.
You know, Marvel, I'm sure, was willing to spend any amount of money to keep him alive so he could continue doing the movies.
And then cancer could still get him.
It was this like.
I did like that it was handled.
Like, he's seemed like a private guy.
It was all like nobody knew.
I respect it just like everything was so private.
Robbie said something great.
He was like, especially for an actor who would milk the fuck out of this.
Like an actor breaks their pinky and there's a cast in every picture.
Oh my God.
They're like just milking public sympathy and none of us even knew.
And a dude was getting roasted online for being sleek.
I know.
Yeah.
Feels so bad.
Tragic.
Now, do you have any respect for his circle that they didn't leak any of this?
Absolutely.
How do you think something like that even happens?
It's just his family.
Tight circle, probably.
Tight circle.
And it actually makes me think that when you get information leaked from everybody else, that it's on purpose.
Like, there's all these celebs.
It got to be on purpose, bro.
It's so easy to keep a secret.
Yeah.
That's a big secret to keep, yo.
No, but I'm talking about, you know how when they say, oh, someone close to the celeb or something like that, like TMZ always gets their news from somebody close to it.
No, it's always just there.
They're PR people.
They're marketing.
They just sent their thing out.
Because if would any of y'all in this room release a secret about somebody else in this room that like something real?
Nah, we wouldn't.
I hope that we wouldn't.
Yeah, I'm just saying.
It's like, it's got to be connected, bro.
It's got to be.
And that's why I don't like it when you hear these celebs bitching about paparazzi because it's like, you called him.
Yeah.
Well, your manager called him.
He does not live in LA.
You know what I mean?
Like, Paparazzi ain't moving to Austin to follow Rogan.
Not much of a career in that.
Yeah, but I mean, there are celebrities that live anywhere and they'll still call him.
Like, remember when fucking Angelina and Brad lived in New Orleans and you would see pictures of them there.
Like, they call that shit.
Yo, their divorce is about to be lit.
Their divorce is about to be lit.
What, what, what, what?
You heard about Brad Pitt's new girl?
Brad Pitt Divorce Drama00:08:04
Oh, he's sharing a bitch?
Yeah, she's married, but it's an open relationship.
And I don't know who said, maybe it was Alexis Guerreros.
Like, can you imagine being that husband?
Like, you probably like, I'm in an open relationship.
I'm about to fuck everybody.
I'm winning.
And then she gets a Brad fucking Pitt.
Yeah, that's it.
And you're just like, oh my God, dawg.
Worst case scenario.
You know where she met him?
Huh?
At her husband's motherfucking restaurant.
Wow.
That's violation.
That's disrespectful.
Now, there's got to be some rules with that.
That's violation, bro.
Disrespectful.
You're going to meet my wife and my restaurant.
I got a different take on this one.
Say that.
I got a different take on this one.
Okay, go.
I think old dude's bragging.
Yep.
I think.
Would this be the first time if your wife was dating Brad Pitt?
Would it be the first time you ever wanted a woman to get pregnant?
Shut up.
Nah, that's actually a good ass.
I want to know.
Son.
I see you got mad bullets in your shit.
Nah, that's Mark.
That's Mark.
You saw me already, son.
Write my fucking hair.
That shit hurted.
But dude gets to brag.
Like, this is his fifth.
You really think he's bragging to the homies?
Like, yo, you know what?
My wife's doing right now, throating Brad.
Nah, my wife's so hot that Brad Pitt wants her.
Not wants her.
Is digging her out and coming inside her home.
So what?
They have an open marriage.
It's not open in that way.
Why am I just trying to keep it open?
When we say open, it means I'm open for business.
He's open.
And you have very minimal hours.
How do they not understand this?
Yeah.
This is a one-way street, the open relationship.
Walmart, you office hours.
You, mom and pop, shot.
Mom and pop.
Stop it with this fuck, Brad Pitt.
It's disrespectful, honestly.
Disrespectful ass.
You were trying to say before that Brad Pitt was getting the short end of the stick.
Oh, yeah.
Brad.
Now Brad Pitt got a share pussy with this guy.
I was 68 years old from Germany.
Way worse on Brad than it is on the other dude.
It's pathetic.
I don't think all parties involved except this girl who looks mad regular in the Instagrams that I already must start by.
You know what I'm saying?
I don't think Brad Pitt is sharing.
That's a good pick.
I got the best pick.
I got the best pick.
No, that's a great pick.
Brad Pitt's not sharing her.
Brad looking official now.
Oh, I thought we were talking about Brad.
I know what we're talking about, who's that other bitch?
I ain't give a fuck about her.
Go, go, Brad.
I don't think he's sharing her.
He's leasing her.
Oh, she could get in there.
Keep it a gooey.
Cool, no.
So you were saying before experienced.
Come on.
Come on, Mulan is coming out this weekend of Pakistan.
It's a live-action event.
Wait, it is?
Yes, dude.
You were saying before that.
Mulan can't save them fucking Muslims out there.
What about Muslim?
What about that?
China?
How do you feel about that?
Huh?
Xi Ping?
Motherfucker.
You were saying before that they were sharing.
I don't think they're sharing.
I think she's with Brad Pitt until he's like, all right, we're done.
And then she's going to go back to homie.
That's a fact.
If you're Brad Pitt, you don't give a fuck.
What he's saying is Brad took her and is keeping her until he's done.
I think that she goes back home to the 68-year-old journey.
Even better.
I get to fuck you and then you go get he gets all the married shit.
That's great.
No, no, no.
Explain what you're saying again.
You're saying Brad and her are now in a relationship and the German dude gets nothing until Brad is finished.
No, I don't think that's it.
I see back home.
I agree with Akash.
What do you think?
The German dude's winning, son.
I mean, clearly he's winning.
Also, keep in mind the German guy is like 70.
That's what I'm saying.
He eats on his fifth marriage on his fifth marriage.
Yeah.
And it's open.
He's not trying to fucking he's pounding out whenever he can get it up.
So it's like he got too long ship to Germany, Al.
Hey, you're right.
He's still got to just like, hey, I need to rest up, go get piped out for a little bit, and then come back when I'm ready.
But how much can Brad pipe?
He's 53 years old.
More than a 70-year-old.
I bet Brad could pipe.
Yo, you think Brad got good dick game?
Be honest, yo.
All right.
Let me open my legs for this conversation.
I bet that shit is fantastic, yo.
Now, real talk, you think Brad delivers good dick?
Digging them guts.
Can I make an argument?
Why not?
I think no.
Fine-ass girls, beautiful ass girls.
What?
What?
Pussy trash sometimes, bro.
Scoreboard.
Scoreboard.
Starfish.
Starfish.
I see why you guys didn't want to say that out loud.
You know what I'm saying?
No, no, but I mean that like I disagree.
That's just the best, yo.
No, no.
You're not talking about like I'm talking about these like Instagram dotty McDots.
Yeah, yeah.
All they care about is the way they look, et cetera.
No personality, nothing, right?
Yeah.
Yeah.
They don't you feel like in my experience they've been all right in bet.
Yeah.
Instagram thoughts got the worst dick.
The worst pussy.
What?
I don't know.
But Brad Pitt is basically that.
Nah, but he got some talent to him.
Oceans 11, fantastic movie.
No, he's talented.
He has no need to please anybody.
He got no need to please.
He don't, he, he, you know what I mean?
He's not trying to get on that bet.
You give him, give her that bet.
Yeah.
You know, you know what I'm saying?
That's true.
That's true.
I feel like fucking Brad is the treat in and of itself.
Yo, exactly.
He feels the same way.
Yeah.
So he might not be delivering the dick the way a 68-year-old German man might.
That 68-year-old German man is probably delivering that dick.
Oh, whoa.
Dick like that.
Do you think they even allow their dicks to get hard?
Or do they keep it pointing down when it's hard in Germany?
Are they just too scared to get it?
Just go straight out.
Just go straight.
The second that shit starts to go.
Nine, nine, nine.
Once again.
Never forget.
Never again.
Never again.
Guys, I'm going to take a break for a second.
Let me tell you something.
You know, the basketball's back.
Obviously, basketball's back.
We out here.
Playoff time.
Playoff Paul P, not anywhere to be found.
More like pandemic Paul P. Is it Paul P?
No.
It's Paul George.
Whatever.
Don't fucking matter.
Play better.
I'll let you know.
Hey, neither one of them playing right now.
That's a fact.
That's a fact.
Let me tell you something.
Paul George is playing like Paul Pierce announces.
That's how horrible he's playing.
This is what I need y'all to do.
Okay.
If you want to gamble, which I know you're already doing, you just go to my bookie.
It's simple as that.
My bookie.
boogie.
You can gamble on absolutely any sport that is available right now.
Okay.
Tons of sports, tons of different options for you to gamble on.
You can do everything that you need to do.
Now, when you go to my bookie, remember, it's mybookie.ag.
It's mybookie.ag.
So when you're going to the website, mybookie.ag, you bet, okay?
You join, my bookie is going to double your first deposit.
That means you put up some money, they're going to put up that same amount of money for free.
You don't have to pay for it.
You get to gamble with free money.
How could you not want to do that?
All you got to do is make sure you use the promo code flagrant.
And then what you're going to get?
You're going to get a $10 NBA future bet.
Look at all this shit that you're getting for free with the promo code flagrant at my mybookie.ag.
Just go do it.
Go gamble.
Get that money.
Win it.
We're not even going to ask for any.
I should ask for 10%.
I should ask for 20 since I'm giving you all that shit, but you get to keep it.
Go make your money.
And let's get back to the show.
And we're back.
Look, here's the thing: here's the thing.
A lot of people have been messaging us electric carts.
Not electric.
Oh, I got a lot.
Not electric.
Flying cars.
I mean, I put it on the list just to.
Don't take a sip like you did something here.
What are you thinking you did?
I'm thinking.
Flying Cars and Ubers00:04:52
What did you say exactly?
10 to 15 years.
No, you said three years, we're going to have flying cars.
And he said, uber.
Yeah, you said Uber.
That's another company.
If it's Lyft, which would be a way better one when you think about it.
Scoreboard for flying.
Scoreboard.
Scoreboard.
You fucking nerd.
I know the future of technology.
Andrew's scared, guys.
Andrew's scared.
I think Andrew was scared.
When I got sent to the picture, I was like, oh, this is not looking too good.
Hell!
Hell!
Get to the bottom of this.
This is real now.
I was looking at it.
I was like, Philo.
Oh, damn, that looks more like a car than a.
I'm early.
Yeah, but silver's up.
You know what I mean?
You know what I mean?
For sure.
Not even for cheese.
So when I got that shit, I started grinning like fucking Chris Rock.
You're still wrong on this.
It's not going to be 10 to 15 years.
So you bug it.
But you said we were going to be able to get into an Uber.
Like, we were going to be able to call it up, get into it, fly somewhere.
Yep.
And you still stand by that?
I still stand by that.
I still stand by that.
Because I think it might be sooner, and that would make me laugh.
You would be wrong in that regard.
How you getting out of it, yo?
You shot it.
I know you.
You shot it right now.
You shot it.
You shotgun.
Oh, my God.
You shot me into my gun, bro.
You shot it into my gun.
And that is a rule.
If he isn't for shooting a violation, we all unload on this motherfucker.
Stand up and walk over so it's on video.
I agree with you.
You can't violate that rules.
I am not violating any rules.
It's going to be execution style.
You got to get on your knees.
Listen, in all seriousness.
You shot one at me.
Yeah.
About to be two and a half.
You shot one at me and it went into the hole where it shoots at.
That is very rare.
That's a very penalizable.
That's a rare occurrence.
It would happen.
But it did.
And we have to accept that as a reality.
And that is a rule.
If it gets shot back into your gun, it is then a usable bullet once again.
Now that we're making new rules, can I also propose a rule?
Yeah.
I let him propose a rule.
Oh, shit.
Like this shit.
I was about to like this shit.
I was not allowed to be whispering more secret jokes in the microphones, okay?
Oh, what'd he say?
Yeah.
What you talking about?
Every now and again, some shit will happen.
He'll whisper a secret joke into the microphone that no one hears, but that the viewers at home will hear.
Oh, shit.
And he was saying things about me and being gay.
Which is not true.
I support that, actually.
Gay jokes are always fine, I think.
So that's another rule we can propose.
Yeah.
Is it harder for you to fit those dicks in your mouth with that big old fucking cranium hitting their bellies?
Oh, yeah, there's guys in front of that.
Oh, dude.
Oh, man.
Oh, bro.
God, I just fucking laughed when I was getting, oh, I got my COVID test and my antibodies test because I was there getting my finger fucked up.
Yep.
And I laughed because FA, I don't know if we spoke about it on the podcast.
But F.A. said, oh, you did?
Yeah, I'm going to tell you off the podcast.
That shit killed me.
All right.
That means it's about the juice.
So FA said, this is you getting your COVID test to me.
And he sent me a GIF of somebody running to do the pole vault.
At the fucking pool.
And as I'm getting my nose penetrated.
That shit hurts.
And they go deep.
Yeah, that shit hurts.
And my shit got depth.
You know?
And that's all I could think of.
I was just laughing.
How's your antibodies?
Negative or positive?
I don't know yet.
They got sent it to me.
Just got it today.
Oh, okay, bet.
I'm going to get mine tomorrow morning.
Why are you doing that?
Because I was at a wedding with a bunch of hooligans.
Oh.
Yeah.
And we weren't.
Oh, were you, Al?
Oh, were you, Al.
Yeah, I saw the video.
Yeah.
I saw the video.
I saw the ceilings very low.
I saw people packed in in bunches, sharing playing cards.
This is a new establishment.
Oxygen.
I saw that.
You were maskless?
Maskless.
You went raw dog into the wedding like that?
Raw dog into the wedding.
Yeah.
Yeah, Al.
We noticed, and we're on top of it.
Yeah, we're going to take certain measures.
I'm going to test it tomorrow.
Yeah, don't abort this one.
Ooh.
Oh, Michael.
Yo.
How are you taking shots, yo?
I don't appreciate it.
Everybody shot at me.
Al, that's it.
You're out.
That was three.
You have to be a bad one.
That was my second gun.
That was my second gun.
You took a knife in the gun.
I haven't shot anybody else.
You shot one.
You shot me.
Raw Dog Into the Wedding00:03:38
Yo, he right there.
Point-blank range.
How many dogs?
Yeah, one, two.
Nah, yo, yo, you shot your three already, son.
Shut up.
You did.
Oh, yeah.
Your bullet just went back in your gun.
Fuck out of here.
It wasn't my bullet.
It was your bullet.
This is a good point.
Your bullet went into my gun, fucking idiot.
Don't shoot me like that anymore.
Stupid idiot.
Jerk head, dickhead.
Dick lips.
Lips got dicks all over them.
And they probably do.
Yeah, they do, don't they?
Just kissing up all of them dicks and probably going tucking your lip right under the ridge of the head.
This is a little too crappy.
A little too much.
Do I mark it?
No, no, do not mark that.
I don't know.
Oh, boy, guys.
Oh, boy.
Okay.
Al, what else do we have going down in the Zisanuza cycle?
Oh, can I tell you one thing?
I was this baddie the other day.
Can I tell you the most impressive part of this?
What's up?
So right now we're looking at Adele, and she's donning Jamaican bikini top.
She's lost a lot of weight.
Looking good.
Yeah, she looks.
I mean, I think Adele is more attractive, fat.
And I know I went on a little tirade about how they're ending the world, but I think she's more attractive, fat.
Every day, Andrew gets more and more black.
It's what I do.
I'm wearing green.
Chubby white girls, though.
I'm complimenting chubby white women.
Shooting guns at everyone.
Shooting guns at everybody.
Whoa.
Mark, that was racial.
That was racial.
Yeah, racial.
Racial, not racist.
Thank you.
Okay, now, here's the thing about this.
I am so impressed.
Mind-bogglingly impressed.
She got eyebrows like Mark's.
She has a strong brow.
She has a strong brow.
I am so mind-bogglingly impressed with the density of her bosoms.
I was just thinking that.
She still got them.
Usually when a fat loses weight, their bosoms shrink.
Shrink and flatten.
They usually pancake.
They pancake like the things at the end of the 18-wheeler that stopped a mud from mowing.
Mud flaps, if you will.
They mud flap.
This girl's bosoms seem to be as dense, if not more dense, than when she was fat, which leads me to believe.
Not more dense, but they're dense.
Maybe all this weight loss was not natural.
That she was actually in a fat suit the whole time.
What?
What?
No!
Mark, I will shoot you with a recycled bullet.
No, maybe it was lipo succione.
Oh.
And that's why she chose not to lipo the titty area.
No.
Kept her fat cells in the titty area.
You can't get lipo from your entire body like that.
Why not?
Like, you can get it from certain areas.
What's the freezing one?
Where you freeze fat?
What's that shit called?
Cool sculpt.
Yeah.
Cool sculpt.
She could have cool sculpt.
Her entire body.
She probably had some natural weight loss a little bit, and then, yeah, why not?
Or she got fat inserted back into her bosoms.
Ooh, that's a great move, honestly.
If you lose a lot of weight, I think that's what a lot of girls are doing.
Fluff up them pancakes, girl.
Fluff up them fucking.
Throw a little butter in them.
Or she have breast implants, but if she put it under the muscle, it looks more natural and they tend to hang more so they look real.
Look, Al, you are the expert on white women.
So I'm going to go with what you say.
And that's possibly this.
But I don't understand why this is a big controversy.
She's wearing a Jamaican flag bikini top.
Beyonce vs Adele Debate00:12:21
Who gives a fuck?
What's the big deal?
It's the image.
Like, it's really not a controversy for people in London and people who go to Notting Hill Carnival.
It's like a West Indian carnival.
And they usually all dress up like this.
And they encourage people of all races.
You don't have to be West Indian to attend this.
Yeah.
But just the imagery that Americans are used to, like, oh, we see a white girl doing anything black, black appropriation.
We got to come down to her.
We were saying cultural appropriation.
So she's got the braid.
She got the Jamaican thing.
She lost a bunch of weight like a starving kid.
She did.
Wow, Mark.
Wow.
No, Al.
I'm sorry.
Wow, Mark, son.
Whoa, whoa, what?
Leo, that was amazing.
Didn't he saved your life, son?
Yo, 100% headshot.
That was crazy.
Al, you okay, bro?
Son, I'm recovering.
Jesus Christ.
Yo, thank you, y'all.
Use your fucking extra head.
Okay, okay.
Andrew Juice is at fourth.
I got four more loaded.
Ready?
You're all out.
I got one left.
No, you shot three shots.
You're cheating too.
Have I shot at you?
You're cheating too.
He's cheating by himself.
I got one left.
All right.
Just to wrap up this Adele thing, I think it's important because a lot of people are hating on Adele right now.
She's getting a lot of hate.
But here's a question that I don't think a lot of people ask, but I think it's something that conversation that we should absolutely have.
Who's blacker, Adele or Beyonce?
Oh, son.
I knew it.
I knew it.
It was coming.
That was nice for them, bro.
I feel like Malcolm X.
I saw the whole thing.
It was beautiful.
Al lifted his gun at the screen and I was like, what is going on?
And then he just, boop, but no, that's fucking shit.
Coming with some bullshit.
That's not bullshit.
Who's blacker, Beyonce, or Adele?
Oh, my God.
Who's blacker?
Blasphemy.
Who's blacker?
Continue.
I'm listening.
Beyonce.
Yep.
Right?
Adele.
Okay.
All right.
Now I'm back in.
Who do you think is blacker?
I'm not sure.
A lot of people are saying Adele.
I'm waiting for you to explain so I can hop on board.
All right.
Motherfucking choo-choo.
Choo-choo.
Names.
Adele, definitely blacker than Beyonce.
What?
Beyonce.
That's a French.
That's very common.
That's a common French name.
You mean a million Beyoncés.
You go to South of France.
You go to San Trapez.
Really?
You met a million of them?
You do, man.
You go to San Trapez, though.
You see a Beyonce every other block.
Every other difference.
You get a little cafe Olay from a Beyonce.
A little cigar with the shit, the black.
Boom.
Exactly.
Adele.
Historically black name.
Adele Givens.
Yep.
Wow.
I'll look some others up.
Okay.
Adele Jenkins.
Adele Harris.
Adele Harris.
Adele Johnson.
Adele Phillips.
I think that's all.
Adele Jackson.
Adele Jackson.
Yeah, can't just put a black last name behind it.
What's a black last name?
That's what that is.
I don't know.
That is crazy right there.
What you just said, what you just said is very racial and it even could borderline on racists.
What we're trying to do is have a discussion whether Beyonce is blacker than Adele.
I happen to leave these up to the people.
I can only present the people with the information that's out there.
Adele's name, clearly blacker.
Okay?
Oh, Adele.
How many more, look, how many more people are named?
Black people are named Adele than her name Beyonce.
I'll take that one for $100.
Alex.
You know what I'm saying?
That was good.
Yeah.
Think about it.
There's way more black Adele's than there are black Beyoncés.
So she wins the name category.
Nah, her name is original.
Huh?
Her name is original.
Like it was a play off her mom's maiden name.
So it's like they created.
What was her mom's maiden name?
It was like Beyonce.
That don't sound black.
And it's.
That don't sound black.
It's Creole French.
Creole is white.
French is white.
Creole's white.
I think so.
It's white for black people.
It's white for black people.
But the white is black people.
So way more black Adele's.
They're way more black Adele's than there are black Beyoncés.
We just know that because Beyonce is just made up.
So that she still loses.
She still loses.
Now.
But making up a name.
Making up a name.
Very black.
Very white.
Very black.
They call their little kids a saibo.
You haven't had these Hollywood celebrities making up names for little kids.
That's not a bad thing.
But no originality.
They're not something that already exists.
So Beyonce didn't exist?
Shaniqua, Taniqua, all.
What you call your side bitch that you say you're going to marry, but you never do.
Beyonce.
That's your Beyonce.
And then there's your Beyonce.
I'm just saying.
We don't know.
Look.
Okay, Adele definitely wins blackness blacker when it comes to name.
That we know for a fact.
Nah.
Singing.
Who sings blacker?
Who sings blacker?
Fuck.
That's a good question.
Who has a stronger, beautiful black woman voice?
Gotta be Adele.
We don't know yet.
Why?
Because Adele has the fat black woman structure.
And then white people made her lose weight.
Yeah, but we don't know if she can sing anymore.
She hasn't dropped the song since.
That's true.
That's the widest thing she did was lose weight.
The white, listen, there's no doubt that now she's becoming whiter, and that's why she's trying to grab onto the blackness.
She's putting on Jamaican flags on her titties, you know what I mean?
Got her hair all up in twists.
Look like fucking Kodak White.
She looks like Kodak White.
She does.
She looks like Marlon Wayans from Friday.
What do you think?
Don't be a man.
Don't be a man as fake Friday.
So, point is.
Point is, in terms of hair, who's got blacker hair?
Oh, fuck.
I'll give you another point.
Adele is dating Skepta.
That's the word on the street.
Oh, shit.
Black rapper.
They're both dating black rappers.
That is true.
You're right.
But complexion-wise, Skepta's darker.
Wow.
Wow.
Complexion-wise, he is darker.
Shade Shaman out here.
Who says shade?
We're giving it as beautiful.
Darker is beautiful.
Yeah, we're saying a scoreboard.
Scoreboard.
So we're saying Jay-Z is not as black?
Not as Skepta.
Skepta is black.
Nah, they're black.
Jay-Z runs a jet ski with the helmet backwards.
Jay-Z.
Jay-Z runs a jet ski with his helmet.
Yeah.
Little nerd-ass Jay-Z, bro.
Skepta never did that.
Yo, Skepta would never do that, bro.
Yeah.
Skepta would never do that, bro.
This is A.
This is a good point.
Adele.
Adele dating.
Skepta.
Skepta trumps Jay-Z.
Nope.
In terms of blackness.
Never.
Yes.
Nah.
Yes.
In terms of their voice, bare minimum.
Jay-Z sounds like a third grader.
Jay-Z sounds like he should be in a John Mulaney show.
Skepta sounds like a bad thing.
Stop disrespecting Jay-Z.
Skepta sounds like he should be in a special ed fest, so I don't think that much of it.
That is true.
I don't know what that.
But Jay-Z doesn't he seem like he wants to be in the fourth grade.
Like, he's just like, Vichyo!
What's your daily thing?
For Joiners!
I've never heard Jay-Z sound like that.
Okay, ready?
Okay, so so far, Adele's got a little leave.
Adele is...
Listen, this is how you game the YouTube algorithm.
Just let us roll this.
Okay, ready?
Listen, Adele, so far.
Okay, give us more things.
Did you fucking ask me?
Okay, you got more things.
You got a point to break.
Dancing.
Okay, there you go.
Beyonce has that.
Beyonce?
Clear as day.
She got it.
If you had to eat one of their macaroni and cheeses.
Beyonce.
Nah.
Nah.
I'm talking about fat Adele.
You don't think she lost that?
You think she lost that skill when she got skinny?
Who do you think makes the better macaroni and chi?
Beyonce has been getting a little thick lately, so I'm going Beyonce.
That means her cooking is getting better.
She hasn't cooked her.
Look at Adele.
She's starving herself.
She hasn't cooked.
She's probably vegan or something.
She got private chefs doing all that.
Adele was eating mayonnaise sandwiches for 10 years before she blew down.
No, she wasn't.
She was frying catchfish.
She didn't blow up.
She was frying catfish.
One of them is frying catfish.
Fat Adele or Beyonce.
Where are you going?
Keep it fish.
Beyonce fucking.
You know how much she's going to be.
English people can fry fish.
I'm still going to get it.
Olive oil.
We're frying cats.
Every song Adele is crying about losing a guy.
That means she can't cook.
Jay-Z is where she got bad and avocado ice cream.
He ain't eating.
No, she's crying about getting cheated on because she dates mad black dudes.
Nah.
That I cannot confirm or deny.
Okay.
You should shoot her for that.
I can't confirm or deny.
Yo, come on.
Try to be on your side.
Hey, everybody need to chill.
I'm like, oh, it's mutually assured destruction.
You better not fire that fucking shot.
Listen, all right.
So everybody chill.
We're just going to finish the episode like that.
Everybody chill.
Everybody chill out.
You put it down.
You put it down.
Everybody chill out.
Okay.
Now, back to what we're doing.
What other categories go?
What other categories are there?
Who's blacker?
Adele or Beyonce?
Just keep it 100.
Keep it 100.
Beyonce.
Beyonce wears way more colors than animal print.
That's black.
Italian.
No.
That's Italian.
No.
That's mob wise.
That's an Adam Wise.
That's very wild.
That's mob wise.
Very wild.
Who has a wider credit score?
Probably Beyonce.
Shit, probably 800.
890.
That's a fucking fantastic point.
Whose bank account's whiter?
Oh, yo.
I ain't going like this.
Beyonce, pay me in equity.
Pay me in equity.
Oh, my God.
Man.
She's a smart black woman.
There's no question that she's pretty black.
But compared to Adele, bro, I don't know if you want to compare those two, bro.
Adele's from London.
Okay.
Keep.
Minority white British.
What?
That's a great point.
In London, white British are a minority.
Wow.
She is a minority.
Oh, she is a minority.
She's a sicker in 20 years.
She is a minority in her home country.
What's blacker than that?
Wow.
What's blacker than that?
Oh, my God.
You stupid fucking idiot.
So do you admit Adele is blacker than Beyonce?
So I can relate to her struggle.
It's a hard one.
He's getting turned on as we speak.
I know, dogs.
Or turned off.
Anyway, free Adele, man.
Let her live her life, man.
She's trying to scoop up.
She's kind of scoop up some dang length.
All right.
She's trying to scoop out some danger lang, bro.
That's it.
Let her put the Jamaican shits on her titties.
All right.
So we've concluded.
Obviously, Adele, you guys believe is blacker than Beyonce.
I do.
You know, and it is what it is, Al.
I appreciate you for being objective and open-minded about these things.
I know that you have constraints on your opinions, obviously, because you represent black identity, but sometimes you got to call a spade a spade.
This whole thing was just for that.
I really think the whole thing was just for that.
Oh, God.
Okay.
So, listen, the Lord works in the steering way in mysterious ways.
Okay.
You know what I'm saying?
I went to, I was at my crib and it was like girls' night.
My girl had like all her friends over and shit.
Right.
And were they dancing to WAP?
Nah, they were dancing whack.
Definitely.
Is that what you think girls just do?
Yeah.
Yeah, they do the death.
That's hilarious.
Playing Chess Alone00:02:46
Kicking their leg all high.
So we're there, right?
And all the girls are there, and they're in graduate school and shit like that.
So I'm like, let me just like, I like to, you know, fuck with him a little bit.
Rile things up.
He's a pot stir.
I'm a pot stir.
Big time pot stir.
You love drama lady.
Love a little drama.
Like a witch just sitting there cackling.
Just cackling.
You know what I mean?
So they were talking about one of these girls that was like a chess master or something like that.
She was like, the number two woman in chess.
And I go, she's the number two what?
She's like, yeah, number two woman in chess.
And I go, that's weird.
Yeah, that is.
I go, why do women have to play against women and men have to play against men?
Like, aren't you insulted that they would think that you need to play against women?
Because it's not physical, it's just mental.
That's their way of saying you're too stupid to play against the men.
Right?
That went well.
It went, and then one now, they thought about it for a second.
They're like, that is kind of true.
That is kind of fucked up.
And then they go, are spelling bees co-ed?
No.
Oh, yeah, they are co-ed.
I go, yes, they are co-ed.
And sometimes girls do well.
Yep.
Right?
I go, I go, if you really want to make the co-ed, I go, if you really want to make the spelling be fair, you get rid of the Indians.
That's true.
That's true.
I go, Indians have this like, it's like a culture.
I don't know if this is true, but I assume there's a cultural pride in spelling in the same way like cricket is or some shit like that.
Or I don't know.
That's really it.
Math or whatever it is, right?
I didn't know this.
They were like, bullshit, that's not true.
I go, I'm going to call my boy Akash right now.
Pick any word in the whole fucking dictionary.
He's going to spell it to you over the phone FaceTime.
Yeah.
I call Akash onomatopoeia.
Akash spells the word.
The girls say it's wrong.
Akash is crestfallen.
I'm devastated.
Devastated.
Like, man, I go, Akash, I'll give you one more chance.
They give him some other word.
What was it?
Some hard ass shit.
I got two out of the three on my phone.
He goes, bodies it.
One more.
Bodies it.
I was like, I told y'all he's nice.
All of a sudden, 10 minutes later, my phone lights up.
Akash, 50 text messages.
A FaceTime.
I look at it.
It goes, son, I spelled onomatopoeia right.
I was like, to this day, I feel fucking besmirched.
I've been besmirched.
Somehow, these girls are so bad at spelling.
This is why they got to play chess by themselves.
These girls were so bad at spelling, they couldn't even read the letters right.
So, son, I was like, oh, N-O-M-A, that's got to be it.
I'm fucking at that wrong.
They cut me off at the A.
I was like, no way.
Turns out I got it right.
I did not know that this is a cultural thing that you guys keep tabs on.
I don't even know if it is, dead ass.
Oh, I just be, I just be knowing how to spell.
Spelling Onomatopoeia Wrong00:12:30
It might be genetic.
Because I asked my girl, I told my girl what happened.
I said, I didn't remember the words, onomatopoeia.
And remember the first one?
And then I said, acquiesce.
And then she got acquiesced.
She all right?
Even though she's Punjabi, she got it right.
Even though she's Punjabi, so we all.
Wow.
The Punjabis is getting it.
We all nice.
Yo, the Punjabis got that shit, dogs.
Yo, we.
Remember, you were telling me they're the dumbest Indian?
Stir in the pot.
Stir, stir, stir.
Look at them stir into this.
First of all, he's never said that.
I just want to talk about it.
But the fact that he was thinking about it means he definitely feels that way.
I can see myself saying some shit like that.
I just completely made it up.
And he was like, man, did I say that?
The fuck is he bringing that up?
Well, I was just thinking.
I was like, I never seen a Punjabi in the spelling beat.
I never seen it.
Interesting.
Balbinder or whatever.
I never seen one of them in there.
Bro, I heard some shit.
I actually got it because I commented on Khabib Nirmagamedov's Instagram.
Right.
He had a picture of him and all of his brothers.
I don't know if they're his brothers.
They all look fucking the same.
They all got that beard.
No mustache.
Yep.
I go, Champ, what y'all got against mustaches?
Not even insulting.
Truly curious.
Muslim thing.
Yes, but I see plenty of Muslims that have the mustache.
It's specific and almost like I guess Muslims from that region have that kind of like beard here, but no mustache.
Right.
Then I have got a couple guys messaged me back on Instagram posts.
It said that that's how the Prophet Muhammad wore his beard.
He shaved his stash.
This was shaved, but this let grow and it was like a sign of cleanliness.
So my curiosity is, why are all these Muslims out there not shaving the stash?
Oh, a full beard to me.
Do we have a little beef going on?
Who's got it right?
If you got Bali beef, it ain't halal.
That's a fact.
Not halal.
We need to get to the bottom of this.
Muzies, please message us and tell us what the truth is.
Yeah.
I want every Muslim there to message me so I can delete that shit and take pride.
Yeah.
Y'all really upset about that shit, huh?
What?
They built you the Taj Mahal.
That's something I just learned that it blows my mind that there would be any animosity between Indian Hindus and Muslims.
Yeah.
I don't actually feel animosity, but it's very fun to say I do.
There never should be because they build the most fire shit in India ever.
Yeah.
And y'all didn't build nothing else.
I think we built it.
I think they made us build it.
Nah.
Indian Muslims build the most fire shit in India ever.
Indian Muslims built it by themselves.
Didn't ask y'all for no help.
That's true.
That's true.
Right?
That's true.
Taj that shit up.
That's true.
Okay.
Y'all took that shit over.
Kind of foul.
That's a little foul.
It's a little imperialistic of us.
It's a little imperialistic of y'all.
Yeah.
And then not even a thanks or nothing like that.
You want to talk about feeling besmirched?
The Pakistanis, the Muslims?
Them Muslims.
Pakistan.
That ain't it.
That ain't enough.
We should have given them the Taj Mahal, too.
That's too much.
That's their shit.
You know how much they love places?
What do you mean?
Jerusalem and shit.
Don't they really love Mecca?
They love a place.
Oh, yeah.
You know what I'm saying?
Location, location, location.
It's location, location, location.
Speaking of location, people.
They love locations, bro.
What do you mean?
You're going to pray.
You're going to pray.
Send location.
Send locations.
Right?
I'm going to pray where?
To the Mecca.
The location.
Yep.
Muslims love location, bro.
Oh, they do be praying East as fuck.
They pray East.
Unless they're the other side.
Then they pray West.
Yeah.
Okay?
They face Mecca.
They do.
Yeah.
I'm just saying, bro.
They love locations the most.
That's their shit.
That's why we don't ask for reparations from Muslims.
We got them.
We got the Taj Mahal.
We're good.
And so that's an even trade.
Yeah, that's why we don't ask for reparations.
There's other shit which we beef over.
Which is.
Kashmir.
What is in Kashmir that's so valuable?
Yeah, just the sweater.
Kashmir?
I don't actually know.
But I know we be beefing about it.
Let's go, India.
So it's just, it's just a little shit.
Like, if we're being real, they should probably have their own independence, but we're not being real.
So, yeah, all feelings.
That's ours.
You know what I mean?
Yeah, you go all feelings, no facts.
That's ours.
And it's yours, but what's valuable there?
Is there like a trade route?
Is there minerals or something?
Kashmir, son.
Oh, cashmere really comes in sweaters, yeah.
Son, we got way better materials.
Fleece, yeah, your sucks, dick.
You ever heard of sporty and rich?
Sporty and rich, whatever this shit is right here.
That might have got made in India.
That was Kashmir would have him fucking staying staying on it like that.
That belly.
That is not from Kashmir.
That's the drill.
That is from Salsa Verde.
I had some Mexican food.
I opened that little plastic shit and it jumped out of me.
Motherfucking salsa thought it was getting over the border.
Got a little too excited.
Maybe this thought it was more salsa verde.
I was like, oh, that's the plate.
Let's go.
It's trying to join.
It was trying to join.
It was trying to join.
This is a loud sweater, guys.
Anywho.
So, yeah, I just want you to understand how you feel about that.
Like, process all those feelings.
That shit is ours.
Hey, Pakistan.
You know what I mean?
You don't want this.
You want this?
Smoke?
Give us some fucking mountains.
I was watching this shit.
And.
Oh, you know what else they got?
Light-skinned ass people.
Maybe that's why we're arguing about it.
Like, nah, we get the light-skinned people for once.
For once.
Fuck.
You got to keep it.
Tired of this shit.
Keep South India.
You need something to even it up.
It would be called cashmere.
Of course, that's where the white Indians are from.
Wearing polo shirts and cashmere and shit.
Like, it looks like a fucking body.
They're flat around their fucking shoulders.
Yeah, they don't even put the sweaters on.
They just wear them like that.
And I'm not.
There got to be some trade route shit about that, man.
All right, guys, we're going to take a break.
Fellas, you fucking stink.
Let's be honest.
It's quarantine.
Nobody's bathing like they're supposed to.
Even Al getting dirty out here.
He's out here smelling like Mark when he comes in half the time.
Al, I got salvation for you.
I'm speaking for you.
I'm speaking for every dude in the asshole army.
Go to hawthorne.co.
That's Hawthorne with an E.C.O. They will send you every men's grooming product you could possibly need.
You take a quiz.
Mark, I want you to take notes.
You match up exactly how, how often do I shower?
Mark is almost never.
They have an answer for that.
What kind of lotion do I like?
How's my skin?
What kind of cologne do I use?
Every question you answer, they send you a product for that.
It is a one-stop shop for all your men's grooming needs.
Anything else is a waste of time.
You're sitting here using your girl's fucking products.
You smelling matte like daffodils or whatever.
If you got a girl, get yourself some grooming products.
And if you don't got a girl, let me tell you something.
The packaging this shit comes in, it could get you laid off rip.
The soap, the hand soap, my Jamaican-ass brother-in-law told me he said, Yo, that hand soap you got, that smells A1.
That's some man shit.
You think you're gonna, if it smells a little bitch-ass, you think he could tell me?
No, he could be, hey, you could switch that shit up.
They sent it to get out of here.
They sent that shit to the studio.
It's the only deodorant I use now.
It's incredible.
It smells great.
Bruh, go to Hawthorne.
That's H-A-W-T-H-O-R-N-E dot C-O.
Use the promo code flagrant and you get 10% off your purchase.
I'm telling you, just give it a shot.
Use all the products.
I guarantee you you will like it.
And if you don't tweet me, you probably an idiot, but I guarantee you will like it.
That is Hawthorne.co promo code flagrant.
Now let's get back to the show.
All right, Al.
I think it's time that you throw us through some topics.
I think we do a little, what is it called?
Like a speed round of feelings, no facts.
All right.
All right.
Send it through.
Let's go.
So, did you guys see pictures of Bow Wow?
And in these pictures, he's caught on his tippy toes.
It's embarrassing, yo.
Just be short.
As a short guy, just be short.
Is he the most insecure rapper of all?
Gotta be, dog.
I mean, he has an entire challenge named after him about pretending to have shit you don't have.
Yeah, the Bow Wow challenge.
Yeah.
Like, that's a bad look.
What is weird about this to me is he's been famous and loved since he was a child.
Yeah.
And it's like he still doesn't believe it.
I don't know how much love.
I mean, his peak was when he was with Sierra.
And even then, people were saying she was a dude.
That was the height of the Sierra's of Dude rumors.
Probably just because she's so much taller than fucking Bow Wow.
They're like, you're a guy.
Don't date someone that looks way shorter than you.
Yo, she came back from them Sierra's of Dude rumors, huh?
Squeezed out some kids.
She did it, yo.
She had the best comeback.
She did.
Probably.
It's probably the best comeback of all time.
Yo, it literally might be the best comeback in history.
You went from a guy to a sex symbol after having two children.
You seen the ride it video?
Ride it.
That's what did it.
Then we were back.
Yeah.
I said, ain't no dude there.
Andrew was like, hop on it, Ryan.
You had a little period where she was getting thrown around because it was like after Bow Wow, then I think she was with 50.
Then I think it might have been a little Trey Songs in there someplace.
Oh, she likes Lil Bad Boy.
Future.
Yeah, but then, boom, now she's Russell.
Yeah.
She was just waiting for the good guy.
She just needed to get that out of her system.
I guess she needs to get that out of the system.
But back to Bow Wow on her tippy toes.
Al, you have some experience lying about your height.
How did you feel about this when you saw?
You understand it?
This is different because I never take pictures on my tippy toes, but I will try to get an advantage in the room currently when I'm trying to shoot my shot at a much larger woman.
Keep going.
Keep going.
It's happening.
One time.
Don't use it.
What I'm owning.
Words.
That's kind of gay, bro.
Yeah, that touching tips.
That was sword fighting over there.
All right.
So what happened was, and y'all know this fucking story, is Al was chopping it up to this short.
And he was, there was like a step to get up to the table in the bottles at the club.
She's a tall girl, six foot tall girl, right?
So Al.
She's a stallion, you might be aware.
She's a stallion.
And Al stepped up on the step, right?
With one leg, but put all his weight on that one leg so the other leg was just hanging in the air.
Okay.
And that's how he was hitting.
You were shooting your shot.
You were chopping it up like that.
You were trying to get that competitive advantage.
So you think that maybe that's what Bow Wow was doing in this and you completely understand?
No.
Because he's not trying to shoot a shot at anybody.
He just doesn't want to look back at these pictures and be so much shorter than everybody else.
Like he's not, he's not okay with himself.
That's the thing.
It's weird.
It's like, you don't know you're short by now?
Yeah.
Like, we know you're short.
He don't want us to know.
But we know.
He's so aware of how short he is.
He's trying to hide it at all times.
That's true.
He stopped calling himself Lil' Bow Wow.
He was Lil Bow Wow.
Every other rapper that's Lil kept Lil.
Yeah.
Fucking Wayne's still Wayne.
Whoever else, Lil Baby's still going to be a little baby.
Every other Lil's little.
Bow Wow the littlest, and he don't want to admit it.
He don't want to fucking admit it.
What do you think it is, Akash?
You are someone who seems like accepting of your height.
You never try to front.
You never try to fake it.
I honestly don't feel that.
I know I'm short, but I don't feel like I'm like, yeah, I'm short.
What are you going to do?
And then I weirdly don't think I'm that much shorter than you until you say you're 6'2 and I'm like, oh, he's seven inches taller than me.
That's crazy.
It's a lot of fucking inches.
But if you ask me, I'd be like, I'll probably come up to Andrew's fucking nose.
I don't know.
I forget I'm short.
It's weird.
And I'm glad because if I remembered, I'd be like, Bow Wow trying to hide it all the time.
Or Al.
I think in the Indian community, Indians aren't typically tall.
Oh, yeah, 5'7 is not bad for an Indian.
I knew most Indian girls are.
Imagine being black.
You may be black at 5'10.
Yeah.
5'10 is considered.
Let me tell you this, though.
Your dick grew when you took Blue Chew.
And if that happened to me, I'd be like, this is all right.
I'll take 5'10.
Oh, yeah.
I happily accept it now, but I'm just saying it's like it was a struggle.
You don't happily accept it.
Yes, I do.
Why'd you lie to that tall bitch?
You think a girl that's six feet cares that you're six feet?
You know the funniest.
You're front, right?
The funny.
Oh, you're a friend right now.
Can I tell you really something that's really fun?
You got your cap in.
Can I tell you something really funny?
You're a cat and crunch.
You're a cat.
Can I tell you something?
You're a cat, man.
I didn't realize.
I didn't realize that the girl actually works with basketball players.
Right.
So my little one step wasn't doing.
It wasn't short.
It was even in the playing field, but she's used to a much taller player, bro.
Yeah.
But she don't give a fuck.
Renting While Losing Money00:06:18
I don't think.
That's the thing.
Tall women will date shorter guys because they don't get hit on a lot, tall women.
There's a lot of dudes that are intimidated by them.
Yeah.
So you shouldn't have, you should have went even shorter.
Yeah, bro.
I should have kept it harder.
Lean into house.
Absolutely.
Yeah.
Crouch a little bit.
Punch that.
Did you crouch a little?
Next time I see you.
You got that, Al?
All right.
That's all I want.
All right, what else we got?
Al go.
A lot of small businesses are struggling to try to stay open, especially restaurants.
I saw this article, which is kind of dope.
This restaurant in San Fran, they have these bubble-style tables.
Pods.
Pods.
There you go.
Let me say one thing.
I appreciate Asians not spreading Corona for once.
Where is it in Chinatown?
No, it's in San Francisco, but Japanese folks at the same time.
But the actual experience seems terrible.
Yeah, like you're stuck in this little bubble.
I mean, I get it.
They're going to have to figure out something because the big day, D-Day is November 1st.
That's the day that the outdoor dining in New York expires.
Oh, shit.
So that's not to say that even if they extend it, it's going to get cold the next month.
It's going to be too cold to eat outside a month later.
100%.
I think they need to get us indoors, eating indoors, in order to save all these restaurants or at least save some of the restaurants.
I think they need to do it by the end of September.
You know what's crazy is even with, if you're doing physical distancing, most of these restaurants still won't make it because we can't get enough people in there to pay the rent and we're already behind and you know landlords ain't giving no fucking forgiveness.
Yep.
And on some level, I understand the landlords not giving forgiveness because they bought the buildings at these inflated prices.
So their mortgage doesn't allow the forgiveness.
Like, for example, I'm giving a crazy low rent to the person I'm trying to rent my place to, right?
But I'm losing money doing that.
I'm losing $1,400 because I bought at the inflated price.
So these landlords, people are going, oh, what pieces of shit these landlords are.
They're like, bro, I bought the building at this price point and I can only profit if I rent it out at this price point.
Or I can even break even if I rent out at this price point.
So they could come less, but someone's going to have to lose.
It could be the banks that lose.
Then the banks seize the property, I guess, and they rent it out at whatever thing.
But they lent them the money.
So I guess the banks lose in that scenario.
Somebody's going to have to get it.
Banks can lose.
He already bailed them out once for fucking losing themselves.
Oh, so now I'm going to go.
I'm going to take this L.
I was speaking to this dude.
He owns the most restaurants in the city, right?
This shit was crazy to me.
And I got to research it.
This is feelings, no facts.
This is his feelings, but I guess he understands it, right?
He says this to me.
He goes, the PPE loan, right, that these restaurants got, you can all use that for, sorry?
Rent and wages.
Rent and wages, right?
So when the banks that lend out this money get the money from the government, right?
They take a percentage of that money.
Of course they do.
Right.
So the banks get that percentage.
Then they give you the PPE.
So the banks got their piece, right?
They give you the PPE.
What can you pay back with the PPE only?
Wages and?
Rent.
Rent.
Not rent.
Mortgage.
Mortgage.
Right.
So you're paying rent to the guy who then pays it back, right?
In other words, they get lent this money.
Whom do you pay mortgage?
To the banks.
In other words, the Fed lends this money to the banks.
The banks get their percentage.
Give it out to the people.
Okay.
The people then pay off their mortgages that they got from the bank.
The bank's making money twice.
They're making their mortgage back and they're making money for giving you the free money.
You got to give back to them.
You have to legally give it back to them or else they charge you more money.
This shit is a racket, babe.
This shit is a racket.
It's not.
That's crazy.
It's a racket.
It's an absolute record.
And I understand everybody, like, I understand we're trying to like point fingers at people.
We're trying to find who the bad guys are.
But I do empathize.
Don't get me wrong.
There are people who are like legacy owners of buildings in New York.
They've owned buildings for fucking 100 years and they're renting out at the current inflated price.
They're making hand over fist.
Those people that aren't dropping rents are absolute scumbag pieces of shit.
Let's be honest.
Okay.
If you just recently bought a building and that's the lowest you can rent it for, I get that.
You're fucked too.
But if you're trying to squeeze motherfuckers out when you're making 100% profit, you're a scumbag.
And I say this as someone who's losing money renting my place out.
Banks are scumbags, pretty much always.
100%.
Anytime you want to say banks are scumbags, you're right.
100%.
Especially because their ass is going to get bailed out if they fuck up.
And that's what even.
Even if we did loan forgiveness, they would find a way for the government to fund it.
They're not taking an L ever.
They're not going to take that fucking L.
I was, I've been watching all these little YouTube videos that are kind of cool.
And this guy, I think his name is Jake Tran.
I think his name, he like breaks down all these things.
He broke down this one thing.
It was really interesting about how you don't need to have a monopoly if you get the government to protect your business.
Right.
And like this shit was so fire.
So for example, Jeff Bezos, right?
Gets all this pressure because he has employees that are on fucking food stamps because they can't make enough money to survive while he's making billions of dollars.
So all the pressure goes to Jeff Bezos.
And then finally, Jeff Bezos has to acquiesce.
He pays $15 minimum wage.
He goes, Amazon, we're going to do a $15 minimum wage.
Everybody's like, oh my God, Jeff Bezos is such a great guy, right?
Nope.
And then he comes out and he goes, you know what else we're going to do?
That should be the standard for all businesses in America, $15 minimum wage.
And everybody goes, what an amazing guy.
He wants everybody to make $15.
Slow to fucking roll, pump the brakes.
He wants everybody to pay $15 so that they don't now have a competitive advantage over him.
When he's paying $15 and Walmart's paying $7.25, they have a competitive advantage over Amazon.
So the only way he can protect his low cost is by bringing everybody up.
And what does he do?
He lobbies the government to force the other businesses to give him a competitive advantage again.
And you know where he's going to double win?
Once everybody comes up, you know what he's going to do?
And he's already starting to do?
Fire his employees, get robots that can do the job, and you buy it with the fucking robots.
Jesus, this is your new tiki wiki.
It's clicky clicky.
You know, you deserve it for that, yo.
You deserve it for that.
I do.
Nah, but you're right.
Those are the most replaceable employees.
Yeah, absolutely.
McDonald's going to do the same shit.
You make us pay minimum wage.
Stealing From Stores00:02:19
Okay, just ordered this screen right here.
And now we save 15.
Not only not spending $7.25 an hour, we're saving $15 an hour.
And you've seen what all these fast food plays have done.
They're like, we like to reduce the amount of person-to-person contact because of Corona.
So why don't you just order your shit on these screens?
Oh, is that why?
Yeah.
You haven't been setting this shit up for the last fucking 10 years.
This is the perfect opportunity to get you used to it.
Remember how long it took for us to get used to the fucking thing at the grocery store and CVS where you had do it yourself?
I hate that shit.
That shit took years.
But if we had to do it and we were like, oh, this makes us safer, then you just get used to it.
You're not mentally fighting it.
You're like, yeah, this protects us.
Nah, you're right.
Have you guys ever stole from those machines?
We should.
We should.
I don't know why.
What's in me?
It crossed my mind every single time.
I've never done it and I won't do it.
I don't know why.
Why do I have this like, I know it's okay, it's bad to steal, but it's almost like I feel like, oh, I'm really fucking somebody over if I steal this piece of chewing gum.
Like for some reason, I don't know what it is.
What did they brainwash us to?
That's a good point.
Maybe it's like, it's so obvious that you're like, oh, something's up here.
Yeah, I think you're more likely to get caught at those things.
One, because you're on camera.
Yeah.
So they have a camera in the thing, but they can choose scams.
Like if you have a bunch of shit, like, oh, boop, this one didn't get to get.
You can take a pack of gum probably every single day.
They have a weight.
Actually, packing them might even be difficult unless you put it in your pocket.
So, there is the weight situation.
It's not that accurate.
Is it not?
Like, it can sense changes and shit like that.
But if you put half your bags down and be like, yo, I can't fit any more stuff here.
So, it's like they have to just override the shit.
That makes sense.
Yeah, it is interesting.
And it could be that.
It could just be like, it's too obvious.
This seems like a trap.
I'm not going to do it.
Yeah.
I don't feel, I don't want to steal.
I feel like I'm too old, etc.
But like, mentally, I would feel more satisfied stealing from them.
I don't steal.
I do consume within the store and not pay.
And I feel completely okay with that.
I've done that shit on accident.
And on purpose.
Stealing.
It's not stealing.
What knowledge is that?
Look at the two minorities, non-criminals.
Because y'all don't know how to steal.
Y'all steal and run out.
We eat it in the store and walk out.
Yeah.
Well, I've done it on accident where I normally will just go through the store and I'll be like eating shit.
Keep going.
And then I'll.
Who fuck told you you got a bullet?
Consuming Without Paying00:13:16
Sorry.
Go, go, go, go.
I'm sorry.
I'll go through and I'll be eating shit.
Then I go to the checkout lady and then I'll have her swipe the, I'll have her scan the trash.
That's what you're supposed to do.
But I go, hey, I ate all these Oreos.
Can you scan it?
And then she'll scan the garbage and throw it away.
And then that's it.
Yeah, I did pay for it.
Sometimes, but then other times I forget.
And then sometimes it'll just be in the car.
See, I don't forget and I don't do it.
Well, what do you think?
But that's not exactly theft not leaving the place without paying.
You do leave the place without paying.
I actually leave the place without paying.
It's in your belly.
It's in your tummy.
And I trust that guy.
That's actually not true.
It's in your tummy.
It's not in my tummy.
In your small intestines.
Maybe it's in my stomach.
I don't know if I trust your gut anymore.
Yeah, your gut's not trustworthy.
Yo, dishonest ass gut.
That's a dishonest gut.
Y'all are really accurate ass.
That's a dishonest gut, you got damn brother.
Yo, do we let him have it?
Yeah, I think we let him have it.
And three.
Come on.
Come on, son.
We're not animals.
Come on.
We're not going to hurt you.
Andrew, come on, dog.
Son, there's a listed podcast.
Come on.
Nobody's even had the gun up.
No, hey, idiot.
Damn it.
We're out.
Yo, chill out.
Chill out.
It's a listened podcast.
People don't like this.
I like this.
Yo, come on.
Let's talk about Bella Thorne's only trans.
Yo, she looked like a heat.
She said, oh, I told you.
Something going on here.
Strong jaw, bro.
Are they one of the Hadiths or not?
No, she's just a Disney chick.
Strong jaw.
She got the strong one.
No, bro.
She was mad, cute.
She look like you, yo.
She do look like me a little bit.
I ain't gonna front.
That could be me.
Are you showing this picture right now?
That is weird because you say that.
Turn your head to the side.
That's trans Drew.
Yeah, that's it.
That's me, bro.
It is what it is.
Son, does he have a bullet in there?
Yes, I do have a bullet in there.
You're not allowed to shoot.
Boy, yeah, yeah.
Say one more thing.
You already shot your shit.
You shot your third one.
So you try one more shit.
See what happens.
All right.
Try one more fucking shit.
You too acting up.
I'm the only honest one in this motherfucker.
No, you're not.
I got both of y'all in the face.
So Mark the third.
So Bella Thorne, she gets on OnlyFans and she's like, Hey, I'm going to show my nude, but you have to pay $200.
And then the picture that she shows, she's not actually nude to a bunch of people, requests for their money back.
She's nude, but she's not showing covering her bullshit.
Yeah, but she is nude.
Oh, okay.
It's not inaccurate.
Yeah, but still, we'll bust that shit.
That shit is duplicitous.
Yeah.
You got to see your dick, yo.
2 million?
Just post it.
Like, you wouldn't just show your titties for 2 million.
Also, she already has nudes that are leaked.
So then what's the big difference?
She got a whole scandal a couple years ago, if you remember, that she fucking.
How old was she then?
Because that's important to know.
I think legal.
How did she know she was legal?
She's legal.
I think she's legal.
He'd be audit, buddy.
It is what it is, bro.
He'll be audit.
This is like a year or two years ago.
Someone was trying to extort her.
They were trying to blackmail her.
They hacked into like her iCloud.
They were like, she's going to send us money.
We're going to leak your nudes.
And then she just goes, fuck you.
I'm going to leak them anyway.
She leaked them first.
Yeah.
Skyballer moved.
Stupid motherfuckers were paying $200 to see this bitch as nudes.
Yeah.
They probably jerked off to her hailer when they were teenagers.
Yeah.
It's probably a legacy type shit.
I don't get it.
I just don't get it when you got porn.
It's an Olive Tree Cafe of Nudes.
Real talk.
Yo, you want to know some weird shit, bro?
Yeah.
You look like Bella Thorne.
I do look like Bella Thorne.
What else?
But this is some weird shit.
Usually I'm not into pregnancy porn.
All right.
When it starts like that, usually I'm not.
All right, dude.
I'm not into it.
But Adam 22's girl, Lena, posted in Instagram where she's pregnant and looking hot.
Sweet girl.
Lovely girl.
Love Lena.
But she's looking hot pregnant, bro.
She's in like some lingerie.
Is that foul to be into your friend's pregnant wife, girl, whatever?
I don't think you can.
Nah.
I think we're not close enough where I can say that.
I'm not going to talk about his girl, but we could talk about the concept of that.
I mean, she's posting it.
That's the other thing.
She's posting it.
Are we talking about this one?
Nah, that's a little real out.
Come on, yeah.
Getting the pictures on.
It's the most latest one.
It's the latest one.
It's like a little video or like a gift.
You could put it up.
I think we should objectively talk about this because I've been, that's the one category of pornography that I do not fuck with.
Wait, there's gay porn.
Well, if they can get pregnant, then there's a real fucking problem.
That's the only category.
All right.
The only category of male, female.
There's incest porn.
I'm okay with that.
All right.
Because it's fake.
Can we show this?
Yeah, we could show that.
I mean, she posted on her Instagram.
I mean, you have to admit Tinny's fully melted heavy.
The heavies.
She got the heavies.
Adele in the breast.
Son, she got some Adele's right there, bro.
And I can't get past the belly scene.
She protruding like she's giving birth to Mark.
I can't do it, yo.
I can't do it.
Yo.
That's your fifth bullet, bro.
Yes, it is.
You want extra bullets, dog.
I have two extra.
I got, yeah, I got two extra bullets.
He's been reloaded.
Son, I can't believe you're going to not shoot him for me.
Shoot me.
I got the camera in the way.
Al handle business.
I already shot all his, man.
Stop it.
Do something.
Nah, but he changed me.
So I can't unsee that she took a train by like five dudes or some shit like that.
That's what you can't unsee?
Wait a minute.
What?
What are you saying?
So recently, like Ack and her boyfriend, they got into a little battle.
Adam, Adam 22.
Yeah.
And Ack exposed some details that she had a train ran in her by.
I believe it was five dudes.
For money or something?
Or what?
For a porn?
Maybe, maybe it was.
But like, she's a sex worker, right?
Like, that's what she does.
Any guy that's dating a porn star, if you try to insult him with guys that his girl is fucked, it doesn't work because she gets fucked for money on camera because she's in porn.
Exactly.
So that's not shocking.
The thing that was shocking to me is usually I do not like pregnancy porn or anything like that.
I haven't looked at any pregnancy porn.
That's the one thing I do not click on.
I do not know.
All I know is in this one image on Instagram.
What?
As we have a question.
I just want to know if she's going to get maternity leave from sex with me.
Son, she gotta get eight weeks at least.
There's no maternity leave in only fans.
That's funny.
Ask why.
That's disrespectful.
We should say something.
Oh, my God.
Okay, that being said, thank God some of these girls don't do that because there are guys that are into the pregnancy porn.
I won't even allow myself to indulge in it.
Have you ever watched one?
I can't do it.
You don't watch it?
Have you ever watched one out?
Be honest.
Be honest.
Honest.
You didn't even put the cursor in front of the video where it gives the little highlight shit?
Nah, either.
You didn't do that?
You didn't scrub through?
You didn't do no scrub?
Nah.
Mark?
You have to pull it up.
What?
Have you watched any pregnancy porn?
I have viewed it, but I haven't used it as a masturbatory device?
I don't say until completion.
What did you do?
You just slap your dick on your fucking floor.
Oh, my God.
No, I was trying to do it.
Fuck.
I'm all out now.
Oh, God.
So nice that someone else has something big on their head besides me in this room.
Okay.
In all seriousness, you enjoyed it or you did it purely for research purposes, Mark?
Mostly research, but I'm not necessarily turned off by it.
Why not?
Because to me, I'm thinking like back in the day, especially when people were, I was looking like when the waiter brings the plate and you said no onions and there's just onions all over it.
Like, man, come on.
Waiting this whole time for the fucking sound.
You got a goddamn sound.
Why do you start with cap?
Mainly for research.
I like research.
Everyone knows that about me, bro.
If there was a Wikipedia for the porn, I would have read it.
But they don't really have that.
That feature.
Okay, go, go.
What are you doing?
I'm not doing anything.
Go.
But tell us, tell us, tell us.
You're not reloading, right?
I'm not reloading.
All right.
Tell us.
So basically, like, I'm thinking back in the day, you would have a bunch of kids with your wife, right?
And you and your wife, you'd have a bunch of kids.
And because of that, she'd be pregnant a lot of the time.
And you would be making love to her while pregnant.
Nine months out of the year, you're making love to her while pregnant.
And then two months, she's probably got to heal up from that shit.
And then she gets pregnant again.
And then you have make love to her pregnant.
So most of her life, she probably was pregnant.
Biologically speaking.
You're more adaptive at making love to your pregnant spouse than you are to her not pregnant.
Oh my God.
Back in the day when you're having a bunch of kids over and over back.
This is a great point.
Pregnancy porn is actually more normal.
This is a great point.
Now, some might say we're not supposed to be sexually attracted to pregnant women because it's a waste of cum.
Now, potentially, I've heard that there are studies that say that husbands are most attractive to their women when they are pregnant.
Why?
DJ Envy.
What?
Well, DJ Envy likes fucking pregnant pussy.
That's what you said.
That being said, maybe you're most attractive to your wife because you want to protect her the most because she needs that to survive.
Yeah, because you understand, oh, she's carrying my child.
That's what I want biologically.
That being said, there's no way that God or evolution or whatever it is would allow you to waste cum.
But we switch it up socially speaking.
So now we want to fuck with no consequences.
What is the least consequential fuck?
It's pregnancy.
Yo, Mark is...
Mark is making good points.
America's making good points.
That being said, biologically speaking, I think it is a waste of your cum and therefore your body would reject it.
It doesn't like waste and cum.
And it doesn't care.
For the same reason why we're not attracted to super old, old, old women, they're no longer fertile.
A pregnant woman is just as infertile as an old woman.
So therefore, we should not be attracted to them.
But I don't think it's a binary.
I think it's probably a spectrum.
Say again?
I think it's a spectrum.
I think you said that to not lose an argument.
Why would I ever say that?
Why would I ever say so to note?
I think so, too.
It's not binary.
It's not binary.
It's a spectrum.
So that's why pregnancy porn is not the most popular porn, but it is a subset that isn't inherently like the grossest thing to me.
Yeah, well, why are our girls repulsive when they're on their periods?
What about that one?
What about that one, Mark?
Our girls are DJ.
Taking that shit on the chip, man.
About him and only him.
And he grouped us all into his.
I see the pregnancy point, but how come our girls go through our Instagrams, Mark?
How come they see who we're following?
These dumb whores.
These stupid sex workers.
Yeah, that seems more like a personal vendetta.
So, not for real, but is the jury out?
Did we show the picture of her yet or the video of her yet?
Women can get pregnant on their period.
No, they can't.
No, they can't.
Mark, Mark, stop it with your Jesus stuff.
Stop it with your Jesus.
Mark, stop it.
Women even had to get fucked to get pregnant.
Historical precedent.
Really?
If three dudes show up to your house on announce, your girl pregnant.
Them motherfuckers angels.
No, but for real, you can't get pregnant on your period.
Yeah, you stop it.
Yeah, you can't.
Your girl is literally a prenatal nurse.
She knows better.
Yeah.
You cannot get pregnant on your period.
Your period is the absence of pregnant.
No, it's not.
Yes, it is.
You can't get pregnant on pre-come.
You can't get pregnant on your period.
You can't get pregnant on Saturday.
Why are we trusting Al on the pregnant on the period thing?
Who got more girls pregnant than Al?
I'm a poor.
And he never did it on their period because he's repulsed.
Now we're doing all facts, no feelings, dummies.
Okay, go.
Can you get pregnant on your period?
The simple answer is yes.
The simple answer is no.
Dummy, no, you can't.
All right, but for real, though.
The blood blocks it.
No, you can't.
They can't swim in blood.
There's fucking eggshells all over the fucking place.
How are you going to get there?
It's tough.
Maybe the sperm is as repulsed as Al is and it just swims away from the body.
It might swim back up on your dick.
And that's why Al's shit goes to the left.
Because it's hiding, you know.
It's looking forward and then it's like, ew, blood.
And it just goes against the sidewall.
That could be it.
That could be it.
All right, guys, we're going to take a break for a second.
Let me tell you something.
You're listening right now and you might be feeling a little bit anxious.
You might be feeling a little bit stressed.
You might be feeling a little back pain, a little shoulder pain, a little knee pain, a little leg pain, a little foot pain.
You don't know what the fuck it is.
And what you need to do is address that pain.
You're going to address that pain with some CBD.
And I'm telling you, it's the best CBD on the planet that comes from Raddix Remedies.
Addressing Your Body Pain00:07:44
Our good friends that we partnered up with, it is the official CBD sponsor of the Flagrant 2 asshole army.
You go to raddixremedies.com, R-A-D-I-X, Remedies.com.
Use the promo code Flagrant.
You're getting 10% off your whole order.
They got monthly packages they can ship you.
They have everything from the joints pre-rolled up for you.
Those are nice.
The nice ones all the way to the nighttime gummies with Akasha.
They're nicer.
Nicer.
They got the melatonin.
Knock you right out.
They got the drops.
They have literally everything you can imagine CBD being made out of.
Go there, get it, enjoy.
I'm telling you, it's worth it.
They're great guys, great company.
They will look after you if you let them know that you're with the asshole army, flagrant 2.
RaddixRemedies.com.
Promo code is flagrant, 10% off.
Now let's get back to the show.
True.
Okay, our next topic before we run out of steam.
We didn't settle pregnancy porn.
Now we do.
Pregnancy porn.
Oh, yeah.
It still grows.
That being said, Lena looked fine, pregnant.
All right.
Two things can be true.
Okay.
I wonder if her OnlyFans subscriptions have gone up or down since pregnancy.
I bet they went up in like a different demographic.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
Them shit's going to drop in about seven months.
That might happen.
Want to talk any sports?
Yo, Luka Doncic was abusing Paul George, son.
Abuse.
Did you watch it?
I didn't watch it, to be honest.
Oh, my God, bro.
Let's talk sports when we get out of here.
Luka Doncic not only see the truth, he literally bullied Marcus Morris or Markeef, whatever the fuck, which one it was, to the point where he got Flagrant 2 out of the game.
He literally tapped out of the game himself.
In my opinion, that's him going, I can't guard you.
I can't have you.
My ego won't allow you to make me look like a bitch on national TV.
I'm going to foul you in a way where they'll take me out of the game because I know the coach is not going to take me out.
So he tapped out of the game.
That was some real soft ass shit, if you ask me.
And then playoff P, right, came out there and Luca was abusing him.
Kawhi's still that fucking dude.
Like, literally, there was a point in the game where Kawhi goes off for like nine or 12 straight points in the fourth.
It was like unbelievable.
But Luca is Paul is pathetic.
Luca is the truth.
And Kawhi is still a fucking cyborg.
Paul George had a good game, though.
I signed a motherfucker.
He was getting abused, bro.
When I came in the third and fourth quarters, abuse.
Oh, yeah.
It looks sad.
That's without Chris Dapps.
And without Chris Dapps, yeah.
He's their entire offense.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah, man.
But y'all, y'all got something to look forward to, bro.
Yo, that Chris Dapps trade might be the rare lose-lose.
Yeah.
Everybody might have lost that one.
Knicks lost Chris Dapps and Tim Hardaway Jr., who's good, and Trey Burke, who's good for the Mavs.
Yeah.
You got your little picks that you ain't gonna do shit with.
And then the Mavs got Chris Dapps, but he's just fragile, yo.
You had to do the trade.
You had to sign him, but he mad fragile.
He is, man.
And that was the issue of the knee, right?
Yeah, Knicks didn't believe in the knee.
I think it was the other knee.
He's just too tall.
I think over 7-3, there's like a height where players are just way more prone to injury.
Yeah.
And he's 7-4.
It was scary from the beginning.
I think they got Luca, so they won.
Yeah, so I heard the announcer saying that the Mavs need an enforcer.
They do need to.
Teams look at them soft.
Yeah.
They come at them.
That's been the reputation for like 25, 30 years.
Since Dirk, just bully him.
I can do it.
And the year they won, they had Deshaun Stevenson, who that's that's a guy who you think could get down.
Yeah.
And he used to fight for Dirk.
He used to love Dirk.
So I think they need another one of those, but those guys are easy to get.
But why don't you get one of the Morris brothers?
That's what I would do.
I would sign the other one.
Aren't they from Texas?
I don't know.
I know they play ball at Kansas, but if I'm the Mavs, as a fuck you to was it Marcus?
Yeah.
I would sign Marke.
Interesting.
Yeah, you need someone to protect Luca because it's getting a little rough out there.
Yeah, but that's one thing I remember Paul George saying in like game two or one even is like, let's see if he can do this for seven games.
He can.
Like you could bully him all you want to.
The guy, I'm telling you, he's from hell.
You can't just like rough him up and he's scared.
Son, how soft is Paul George?
Motherfucker talks shit on a Graham and proceeded to have the worst playoffs in his entire career.
Like that dude is emotionally soft.
And I'm concerned what happens deep in the playoffs with a guy like this rattle.
But why fucked up, I think.
If he's still on the Raptors, they're a lock for the finals, right?
Yeah.
I mean, I think the Raps, the Raps obviously lost to Boston, but I think the Raps can make adjustments and figure that out.
We're going to see what happens.
I hope so.
Yeah.
We're going to see what happens.
I'm tired of Boston disappointing us in the playoffs.
Yeah.
The thing about Boston is like their young guns just keep developing.
Jason Tatum is impressive.
Jalen Brown is good.
Tatum is their unquestioned alpha.
Once you got rid of fucking Kyrie.
Yeah, see you.
Let Jason grow.
You had to.
You had to.
Yeah.
Kyrie always gets in everybody's way.
Yeah.
Was there another story that was worth talking about in the playoffs?
I feel like there was.
Donovan Mitchell or oh, Jamal Murray.
Oh, yeah.
This kid is the truth, bro.
You know what bothers me about him is he mad inconsistent.
If he goes off, they win.
And if he doesn't, they lose.
From what I've heard, the scouting report on him is he is an absolute fucking superstar rock star.
The issue is game 49 on a Tuesday midseason.
He just doesn't really care.
So it's getting him to get charged up to play for every single game.
And the thing about Jordan is it didn't matter if it was an exhibition game in France.
He was going to give everything.
He needed that victory.
He would fucking bleed.
He would bleed for it.
He would do everything.
Jamal Murray is a steel trap.
Like emotionally, he's the opposite of Paul George.
He is not scared of the moment.
He is resilient.
His brain is unphased.
The problem is when the stakes are not high, apparently he doesn't care that much.
I think if he's on fire, they win.
It's just that simple.
But to me, he was always inconsistent.
Maybe his effort, but then that's why they need, I think they're going to need to make a trade or hope Michael Porter Jr. becomes like a fucking yeah, you give him another year.
Yeah, that's what we'll see what happens.
But if next year it doesn't happen, I think they might need to shake things up.
They might win this, yo.
They were my dark horse because of Porter Jr., I thought he could develop.
If not this year, next year, but I don't know.
We'll see.
We'll see what happens.
Yeah, yeah, I need to thank Obama for letting the season restart.
Oh, that's true.
That's true.
What was his advice?
Some dumbass shit.
He said, shut up and dribble.
Basically, basically, right?
Like, I need some shit to do.
All right?
Michelle out here, arm wrestling.
Come on.
Come on.
I need some shit to do.
I'm bored.
Yo, arm wrestle, Michelle or Barack, who wins?
Be honest.
Oh, Michelle got it.
Michelle breaking his fucking wrist.
Yeah, Michelle got it.
She's snapping his wrist away.
I think because he's a gentleman and he'll let her win.
Fair enough.
But in all seriousness.
Barrett's more at the gym.
In all seriousness, though, shouts to Barack for like being available.
I think when he's done bench pressing, she just spots and just stands on him like that with the barbell.
I will say that, though.
Shouts to Brock for like just being available.
Like I don't know that many people that have a relationship with just NBA players.
You know, like Bill Clinton would be at all these like Arizona, was it Arkansas Razorback games?
Yeah, but I don't know if he has his phone number.
He's just hating.
He's just trying to fuck the girls that were visiting college.
And the seniors trying to decide what school to go to?
Probably.
That's his move.
I'm just saying, I think that's pretty dope of Brock and giving us some advice.
I didn't necessarily agree with the advice, so to say.
I really believe what I was saying on the last step about the starting some sort of lobby to give like actual real economic and political pressure on these organizations that you want to do.
I think that is the way to go.
And I think that Barack should know better than anybody that that's the way to go because that's what he had to deal with for eight years at DC.
But look, he's got way more experience than me in this.
So hopefully he gave them some good advice, man.
I just think it's dope that he makes himself available for that.
He does not have to do that.
And no one would be upset at him if he didn't do that.
And the fact that he did is just fucking ill.
Yeah.
Anyway, guys, that's been another episode of Flagrant 2, man.
Justice in the Final Episode00:00:58
We had a lot of fun.
And listen, what I do have to say is...
I still got one more bullet, bro.
You have shot all your bullets.
I don't think you do.
And here's the thing.
Remember, the three-bullet minimum was for the episode.
Once this episode is over, it's a free-for-all.
So I just want to point that out to everybody that's here.
Someone's about to get some justice the second we end this episode.
This has been Flagrant 2.
And I just want to let y'all know that if y'all want to continue this and maybe see who got God and who got God right in their fucking mouth in their face, you can always join us this Friday on patreon.com slash flagrant2.