Flagrant - Andrew Schulz & Akaash Singh - Schulz: Quarterbacks are the Dumbest NFL Players | Patreon Sample
Aired: 2020-06-19
Duration: 13:00


=== Bodying The Mad Test (09:54) ===

[00:00:00]  What up people?
[00:00:00]  Sheltie here and you guys are about to listen to a clip from our weekly Patreon episode.
[00:00:04]  If you want to sign up to our Patreon, support the flagrancy, support what we are doing.
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[00:00:17]  Here is the exclusive clip.
[00:00:24]  While we're talking about football players, earlier, I don't know if it's included in this episode.
[00:00:32]  While we're talking about...
[00:00:34]  While we're talking about it, listen, I made a statement that I stand by.
[00:00:38]  I don't think quarterbacks are smart.
[00:00:42]  I think they're smart for dumb people, which are football players in general.
[00:00:46]  The quarterback is the easiest thing to do.
[00:00:48]  I think we over inflate how difficult it is to.
[00:00:51]  Get to the meat of the story.
[00:00:53]  Okay?
[00:00:53]  Get to the meat.
[00:00:54]  Don't girlfriend this.
[00:00:54]  Don't tell us a bunch of other shit.
[00:00:56]  You get to the meat of the story.
[00:00:57]  What happened?
[00:00:58]  Okay.
[00:00:59]  I said, I said, let me just keep going.
[00:01:04]  Let me build it up.
[00:01:04]  Let me build it up.
[00:01:05]  Okay.
[00:01:05]  I was like, what do they do that's that hard?
[00:01:06]  They have the plays already made for them.
[00:01:08]  Okay.
[00:01:09]  They know exactly where their player is going to go.
[00:01:10]  They just throw the ball.
[00:01:12]  That's it.
[00:01:12]  It's not that fucking hard.
[00:01:14]  They're not doing that much thinking.
[00:01:15]  Like, oh, you have to do it quick.
[00:01:16]  You have to do it in three seconds.
[00:01:17]  How much shit in life takes more than three seconds?
[00:01:21]  Name something in life that you make a decision that takes more than three seconds.
[00:01:24]  I got a pee.
[00:01:24]  I don't go, do I have to pee?
[00:01:26]  I think I got a pee.
[00:01:27]  Okay, LP.
[00:01:27]  No, just call a pee.
[00:01:28]  I know where I'm going to piss.
[00:01:30]  I got three toys to choose.
[00:01:30]  Has the story started?
[00:01:31]  I choose one.
[00:01:32]  Has the story started?
[00:01:32]  I choose one of them toilets.
[00:01:33]  That's what I do.
[00:01:34]  Okay.
[00:01:35]  I check three toilet shoes on my choose.
[00:01:37]  You don't have that much time on the memory cards.
[00:01:38]  You just got to get to the story.
[00:01:39]  Listen, point is, I'm like, yo, give me the wonderlick test.
[00:01:43]  The wonderlick test is a test to see how stupid NFL players are, right?
[00:01:46]  It's just like, hopefully you're not super stupid, right?
[00:01:49]  Yeah.
[00:01:50]  I started to take this Wonderlick test, right?
[00:01:53]  I am bodying this test, bro.
[00:01:56]  I am fucking bodying this test, bro.
[00:01:59]  Like, when I tell you guys, I'm literally looking at Akash.
[00:02:02]  Akash is shaking in his boots.
[00:02:04]  Akash, you were shaking in your boots.
[00:02:07]  The first couple questions were so easy.
[00:02:09]  I was like, oh, fuck, maybe this shit is mad either.
[00:02:11]  But I was bodying them shits, right?
[00:02:13]  Now, as I'm bodying these things, it's a time test, right?
[00:02:18]  Al is taking mad long to kick on the board.
[00:02:22]  I was purposely going fast so he couldn't put this shit up.
[00:02:25]  Al's taking mad long, click on the boxes, right?
[00:02:27]  You know what's taking mad long?
[00:02:28]  And answer the question.
[00:02:29]  That was taking mad long.
[00:02:32]  The screen is mad for me.
[00:02:34]  We read every question three times.
[00:02:37]  He's singing a song.
[00:02:39]  What I was doing that?
[00:02:40]  You're repeating every question.
[00:02:42]  Okay, let me get this straight.
[00:02:43]  Okay, so I'm gonna channel it.
[00:02:44]  Yeah.
[00:02:45]  Okay, so and I was I getting them wrong?
[00:02:47]  Was I getting them wrong?
[00:02:48]  It was taking a lot longer than three seconds.
[00:02:49]  I'll tell you what.
[00:02:51]  Was I getting them wrong or was I getting them right?
[00:02:53]  I don't know because your score was so low.
[00:02:55]  If I knew the fucking question before I got the question, it would take longer.
[00:02:59]  What?
[00:03:00]  If you knew the plays.
[00:03:01]  If I knew the plays, the defense is set up.
[00:03:04]  You can see what the defense is doing.
[00:03:05]  Why are we acting so crazy?
[00:03:07]  The defense is already set up.
[00:03:08]  That guy's there.
[00:03:08]  That guy's there.
[00:03:09]  Safety's over there.
[00:03:10]  How many different options can there be?
[00:03:12]  A lot.
[00:03:13]  No, there can't.
[00:03:13]  That's what they tell you.
[00:03:14]  You believe it.
[00:03:15]  Never once did I have struggled playing corner madness.
[00:03:18]  We're going to get there.
[00:03:20]  We're going to get there, dog.
[00:03:21]  So he goes.
[00:03:22]  We're going to take the Wonderlick test.
[00:03:24]  I'm literally.
[00:03:25]  Ah, blah, blah, blah, girlfriend.
[00:03:28]  Get to the fucking end of the story.
[00:03:30]  Yo, yo, yo, yo.
[00:03:31]  Can I speak my truth?
[00:03:33]  You should run out this memory.
[00:03:35]  Can I speak my truth, bro?
[00:03:37]  Let me just speak my truth, bro.
[00:03:39]  Let me speak my truth, right?
[00:03:40]  Akash is silent, right?
[00:03:42]  Because he's so frightened that I'm about to body through this Wonderlick test, right?
[00:03:46]  Apparently, this Wonderlick test has mad questions on it, right?
[00:03:54]  And Akash, full well knowing that there's mad questions That Alex hid.
[00:04:00]  It hidden from the body.
[00:04:01]  Nobody did that the whole time.
[00:04:02]  He also certainly made that.
[00:04:04]  I didn't see it.
[00:04:04]  Alex made the shit.
[00:04:06]  You talking about it.
[00:04:06]  Everybody saw that shit.
[00:04:07]  You talking about that green shit at the bottom?
[00:04:09]  Yeah.
[00:04:09]  That shit.
[00:04:10]  It says progress.
[00:04:11]  First of all, I did not see it.
[00:04:12]  Say progress.
[00:04:12]  Second of all, I didn't know it was more.
[00:04:13]  What did you think it was?
[00:04:14]  You didn't notice it was getting bigger?
[00:04:15]  No, no, no, it was how good I was doing.
[00:04:16]  I thought it was green is good.
[00:04:17]  Red is bad.
[00:04:17]  Orange is in the middle.
[00:04:18]  And the fact that it keeps getting longer, what's that mean?
[00:04:20]  Say what?
[00:04:21]  What's it keep getting longer?
[00:04:22]  What's that mean?
[00:04:22]  I thought I was doing really good.
[00:04:25]  I thought I was doing really good, bro.
[00:04:27]  That's really all I thought it was.
[00:04:28]  I had no idea how many questions were on.
[00:04:30]  First of all, is it fair to say I had no idea there was how many questions?
[00:04:33]  I didn't have a scan trying to let me know how many bubbles there was about to get.
[00:04:36]  You weren't looking for it at all.
[00:04:37]  You weren't trying to adjust.
[00:04:39]  Say a quarterback would?
[00:04:40]  Say what?
[00:04:40]  You weren't trying to adjust like a quarterback would based on the movement of what I'll do.
[00:04:44]  I would do, I'll go through it.
[00:04:45]  I'd be like, L C next.
[00:04:51]  I mean, we have it on video.
[00:04:52]  Yeah.
[00:04:54]  We do.
[00:04:55]  My point is this.
[00:04:56]  I got the number I got?
[00:05:01]  The number I got higher than a lot of great quarterbacks, right?
[00:05:07]  Donovan McNabb.
[00:05:08]  Hotter than Donovan McNabb.
[00:05:09]  I don't even think Donovan Nab took the fucking test, bro.
[00:05:11]  I think he'd let a cat just walk on the fucking keyboard.
[00:05:14]  Donovan McNabb got a 15, bro.
[00:05:16]  And he prepared for this shit.
[00:05:18]  I got a 22.
[00:05:20]  Yeah.
[00:05:20]  I didn't even know how many questions were.
[00:05:22]  If I had allocated time per question and I just finished the test, I literally think I would have gotten at least a 49.
[00:05:32]  I literally think I would have gotten at least a 49, Akash.
[00:05:35]  100%.
[00:05:36]  Andrew got a 22.
[00:05:37]  The average NFL player, not quarterback, player, 20 to 21.
[00:05:42]  They know how many questions are on it.
[00:05:44]  You are slightly above retarded.
[00:05:47]  They know how many questions are on it, Akash.
[00:05:49]  Slightly above.
[00:05:50]  Akash, can you at least acknowledge this?
[00:05:52]  Can you at least acknowledge this?
[00:05:54]  They knew how many questions were on it.
[00:05:56]  I don't know.
[00:05:56]  No, no.
[00:05:57]  Can you acknowledge that?
[00:05:58]  I don't know.
[00:05:59]  Do you think it's like when they run the 40-meter dash or the 40-yard dash, do you think they know it's 40 yards or no?
[00:06:04]  Yeah.
[00:06:04]  Okay.
[00:06:05]  Okay, so we acknowledge that, right?
[00:06:07]  Yeah.
[00:06:07]  Is it called the 50-question wonderlick?
[00:06:10]  Is it?
[00:06:10]  No, it's called the Wonderlick.
[00:06:12]  Exactly.
[00:06:12]  So you don't know how many questions.
[00:06:13]  If it was called 50 questions, I would have finished all 50 questions.
[00:06:16]  Thanks for making my argument.
[00:06:17]  You didn't know how many questions there were?
[00:06:19]  Say what?
[00:06:19]  You didn't know how many questions there were.
[00:06:21]  That's correct.
[00:06:21]  And you didn't look to find out how many questions there were on it.
[00:06:23]  Akash, can I be honest?
[00:06:24]  You didn't look for a progress ball.
[00:06:25]  Akash, can I be honest?
[00:06:26]  I was going to try.
[00:06:27]  Akash, can I be honest with you?
[00:06:28]  The questions were so juvenile and simple.
[00:06:32]  They were so simple.
[00:06:33]  Why did it take you so long then?
[00:06:34]  Say what?
[00:06:34]  Why'd it take you so long?
[00:06:36]  It didn't take me long.
[00:06:37]  I was bodying them questions.
[00:06:39]  Every question took you mad long.
[00:06:41]  Mad long.
[00:06:42]  I mean, if I'm being honest with you, I want to sell it to you.
[00:06:45]  This is honest, man.
[00:06:46]  If I want to be honest, hey, let me be honest.
[00:06:49]  I want to be honest.
[00:06:50]  Let me sell it, Theatrics.
[00:06:51]  Okay.
[00:06:52]  Honestly, I didn't think it was that many questions.
[00:06:56]  Because let's be honest, was I not killing the questions?
[00:06:59]  Be honest.
[00:07:00]  You were taking mad long.
[00:07:01]  Can you just, I'm going to be honest.
[00:07:03]  You be honest.
[00:07:04]  You were getting most of them right.
[00:07:05]  You admitted prior there were questions that you had gotten wrong as you were looking at, but I got right.
[00:07:10]  Because you took to it.
[00:07:11]  Because I'm smarter than you.
[00:07:13]  So, so if I'm 22, what are you getting the test done faster?
[00:07:20]  I don't know.
[00:07:21]  I don't know.
[00:07:23]  Bro, to put it in comparison, here are occupations as they scored.
[00:07:27]  So, like a train conductor who got a 21.
[00:07:30]  Chugga, chugga, tugga, chugga.
[00:07:32]  Let's go.
[00:07:33]  A janitor scores 14.
[00:07:36]  The average janitor scores.
[00:07:37]  You got that?
[00:07:37]  That's what I'm saying.
[00:07:39]  And they knew.
[00:07:41]  I did not know.
[00:07:43]  Secretary.
[00:07:44]  Yep.
[00:07:45]  24.
[00:07:46]  I'm not made to be a secretary, bro.
[00:07:48]  I'm not made for that work.
[00:07:50]  I'm not made for that.
[00:07:51]  My point is this.
[00:07:51]  If I knew, if I knew, I get minimum 49.
[00:07:56]  Yeah.
[00:07:56]  I'm being honest with you.
[00:07:57]  I don't see how I could get less than 49.
[00:08:00]  Do you want to take it test for test?
[00:08:02]  I'll take it.
[00:08:02]  You and I. I'll take a test for test.
[00:08:04]  So we go test for a test.
[00:08:06]  Test for test.
[00:08:08]  Now, we have to take the exact same test.
[00:08:12]  You've already, if it's the exact same test every time, you've already taken it.
[00:08:15]  Motherfucker, obviously it's going to be a different test than the one I took.
[00:08:17]  Is it?
[00:08:18]  And you also took that same test that I took.
[00:08:20]  How many questions are there going to be?
[00:08:21]  Are there questions?
[00:08:22]  I never said NFL players were NFL quarterbacks.
[00:08:26]  Oh, would you like a cap for all this capping you doing right now?
[00:08:29]  Would you like to put a cap on for all this capping you doing right now?
[00:08:32]  Are you a little scar?
[00:08:34]  Are you a little scar?
[00:08:36]  Yeah, let's go.
[00:08:36]  Are you?
[00:08:37]  Oh, you want?
[00:08:37]  Let's go.
[00:08:38]  Let's go.
[00:08:38]  Okay.
[00:08:39]  So, what is on the line?
[00:08:41]  And keep in mind, bro, it ain't going to be spelling on this test.
[00:08:45]  Okay?
[00:08:46]  This is going to be Wonderlick tests.
[00:08:48]  What's on the line?
[00:08:48]  Help us decide.
[00:08:49]  Say again, what's on the line?
[00:08:50]  If I get a higher score than you, you can.
[00:08:53]  You get to take it again?
[00:08:54]  Say again?
[00:08:54]  You get to take it again?
[00:08:55]  Son, you know how many questions there are.
[00:08:57]  You have a complete advantage over me.
[00:08:59]  Just take an IQ test.
[00:09:00]  Say again?
[00:09:00]  Just take an IQ test.
[00:09:01]  That's frightening, Brian.
[00:09:03]  I don't even want to know really how smart they were, though.
[00:09:06]  Son, I took that shit once when I was in Spain, bro.
[00:09:09]  I was at the, I was working at this fucking advertising agency.
[00:09:12]  It doesn't matter.
[00:09:13]  And I'm so bored because I had nothing to do during the day.
[00:09:15]  So I just took one of them IQ tests that's online.
[00:09:17]  You know, those advertisements pop up.
[00:09:20]  I took that shit.
[00:09:20]  I was so fucking frightened, bro.
[00:09:24]  How'd you do?
[00:09:25]  Genius.
[00:09:28]  Genius.
[00:09:29]  Why are you afraid to take it now?
[00:09:30]  No, but I got 1,600.
[00:09:31]  Quit on spot.
[00:09:34]  I got 1,600, bro.
[00:09:36]  I got 1,600 on it, bro.
[00:09:38]  Wow.
[00:09:39]  I know.
[00:09:40]  Honestly, there is a chance that you and I do poorly on the Wonderlick because it's a test for retards.
[00:09:47]  So we are obviously going to fail a retard test.
[00:09:50]  Keep that cap on, baby.
[00:09:52]  Because I'm capping for you.

=== Failing The Retard Exam (03:06) ===

[00:09:54]  Yeah, no, I appreciate that.
[00:09:55]  Look, point is, you and I will take the test.
[00:09:57]  Al, you're going to take this test?
[00:09:58]  Why you had to take it twice, yo?
[00:10:00]  Son, you took the test with me.
[00:10:02]  You looked at all the same fucking questions as me.
[00:10:04]  Bruh.
[00:10:05]  Bruh, what?
[00:10:05]  You took it.
[00:10:06]  Bruh, what?
[00:10:06]  Your answer is.
[00:10:07]  You scared, dog.
[00:10:08]  Your answer is.
[00:10:08]  You scared.
[00:10:09]  You shaking in your boots.
[00:10:10]  Why should you?
[00:10:11]  Take it the one time.
[00:10:12]  Take it the one time.
[00:10:12]  You're shaking the ass boots.
[00:10:16]  But for real, you don't want that, do you?
[00:10:19]  All right, let's go.
[00:10:20]  Be honest, you're a little bit scared.
[00:10:22]  Of course.
[00:10:23]  Why are you scared?
[00:10:24]  Because what if your dumb white ass does better than me?
[00:10:26]  That's what I'm talking about.
[00:10:28]  It's going down.
[00:10:29]  Now I know how many questions there are, dog.
[00:10:31]  And please believe I'm going to go through it.
[00:10:34]  Because first of all, I didn't even take it with my testing strategy.
[00:10:36]  I got a completely different testing strategy.
[00:10:39]  Look at the answers first.
[00:10:42]  That's the thing a lot of people don't do.
[00:10:45]  That's why I gave so much time for the questions because I was answering the question first and then looking at the answers.
[00:10:50]  Nope.
[00:10:51]  Right?
[00:10:52]  Two minutes.
[00:10:53]  What is it?
[00:10:53]  Two minutes left?
[00:10:55]  Okay.
[00:10:55]  Arkash.
[00:10:56]  Did we do any Patreon questions?
[00:10:58]  Yeah, we did one.
[00:11:00]  All right, get real question real quick.
[00:11:02]  We got two minutes left on this episode.
[00:11:05]  Ready?
[00:11:05]  Here it is.
[00:11:06]  A lot of people ask about Dahlia, so we did two questions.
[00:11:08]  Okay, we talked about Dahlia.
[00:11:10]  Give it a buck, but any of y'all subscribe to Yes Jewels OnlyFans.
[00:11:13]  Yes, Jules got OnlyFans if she covers in her chin dimple.
[00:11:18]  Yo, you are weird.
[00:11:19]  She got one of them butt chins.
[00:11:21]  She got Blaustein.
[00:11:22]  She looked like Michael Blaustein.
[00:11:23]  I don't think I've ever looked at her chin.
[00:11:25]  No, she looked like Michael Baustin.
[00:11:27]  It's harder though.
[00:11:27]  Say what?
[00:11:28]  A butt chin is kind of harder.
[00:11:29]  No, dude, why?
[00:11:31]  If you're an ass man, so it's two butts?
[00:11:33]  Yeah, you're just all day.
[00:11:36]  Nah, dude.
[00:11:36]  It's just weird.
[00:11:37]  The butt chin is fucking weird.
[00:11:39]  You like butt chin?
[00:11:41]  I prefer.
[00:11:42]  Al, you like butt chin?
[00:11:43]  I like dimples.
[00:11:44]  It's not in deal breaker, but I'm not in cheek.
[00:11:45]  Cheek dimples, bro.
[00:11:46]  Chin dimples.
[00:11:47]  No, no.
[00:11:47]  Cheek dimples.
[00:11:48]  Yes.
[00:11:48]  Oh, yeah, those are great.
[00:11:49]  Butt chin deal breaker.
[00:11:50]  100% deal breaker.
[00:11:51]  Not deal breaker for me, but I'm not into it.
[00:11:53]  You don't want this bitch.
[00:11:54]  Can't think of anybody right now thinking all day and right, what the this chin?
[00:12:00]  No dude.
[00:12:00]  Oh bruh no uh-uh uh-uh, Akash not doing it.
[00:12:05]  Let's wrap this up.
[00:12:06]  What?
[00:12:06]  How much time we got?
[00:12:07]  A minute max?
[00:12:09]  Yeah, a minute, literally minute.
[00:12:11]  Last question bruh, I gotta open the phone back up.
[00:12:14]  Just wrap it up.
[00:12:15]  Yeah, God Forbid, see how amazing we are.
[00:12:18]  What is it?
[00:12:19]  Last one, yo, Joe Swain, be asking a lot of questions.
[00:12:22]  Yo oh, somebody said I look like uh, Matthew Cooper.
[00:12:25]  Why does Akash look like Drew and Alex had a baby?
[00:12:27]  I think that's actually kind of funny.
[00:12:29]  All right, just me.
[00:12:30]  Yo, it's all good dog hey, do you think that's a Wonderlick question, bro?
[00:12:38]  You know what?
[00:12:38]  I got it done in time.
[00:12:40]  So there you go.
[00:12:41]  All right yo, Asshole ARMY.
[00:12:42]  We love y'all man, we'll see you tuesday, peace.
[00:12:45]  All right, guys.
[00:12:46]  You just listened to a clip from our weekly Patreon episode.
[00:12:48]  If you want to continue to listen to that episode, subscribe, join the asshole army Patreon, keep it tight and keep it flagrant with us.
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