Flagrant - Andrew Schulz & Akaash Singh - Andrew Schulz's Best Retard Story | Patreon Clip
Aired: 2020-04-17
Duration: 04:59


=== Scott's Regular Retard Incident (04:58) ===

[00:00:00]  Here's a conspiracy.
[00:00:01]  A lot of people were making shit up.
[00:00:04]  The Akash said that AOC was killing you.
[00:00:06]  Oh y'all.
[00:00:10]  And now I want my apologies.
[00:00:11]  What do you mean?
[00:00:12]  Before I just needed everybody to know I said it and that was enough.
[00:00:14]  All right.
[00:00:15]  Now I need my apology.
[00:00:16]  I'm sorry.
[00:00:16]  No bullshit apology.
[00:00:17]  I'm sorry.
[00:00:20]  Okay.
[00:00:21]  Thank you.
[00:00:21]  I'll take that.
[00:00:22]  That's it.
[00:00:22]  I apologize.
[00:00:24]  I can apologize.
[00:00:25]  I don't.
[00:00:25]  You can't stop right there.
[00:00:26]  I know you can't.
[00:00:28]  I know you can't stop right there.
[00:00:30]  Stop right there.
[00:00:31]  That's an apology.
[00:00:32]  I apologize.
[00:00:33]  Stop right there.
[00:00:35]  Don't be a girlfriend.
[00:00:38]  Don't be a girlfriend and squirm out of accountability.
[00:00:41]  Don't be a girlfriend and squirm out of it.
[00:00:43]  I apologize.
[00:00:44]  Stop doing it.
[00:00:44]  Stop.
[00:00:46]  Stop right there.
[00:00:55]  What's up, everybody?
[00:00:56]  Welcome to the Patreon episode of Flagrant 2 Asshole Army.
[00:01:00]  The real ones.
[00:01:02]  Listening to this one.
[00:01:03]  I'm Andrew Schultz.
[00:01:04]  I'm here at Akash saying we got Alex Media, Mark Gagnon in the building.
[00:01:09]  There is this.
[00:01:09]  We had a retard in our class, right?
[00:01:11]  His name is Scott.
[00:01:12]  Yeah.
[00:01:13]  And Scott...
[00:01:14]  That's a good retard name.
[00:01:16]  No, no, it's a great retard.
[00:01:17]  Great retard because you could be angry at him in the name, right?
[00:01:20]  Scott!
[00:01:21]  Quit, right?
[00:01:23]  And so his retard, like, he could do all the stuff we could do, but he was also retard, right?
[00:01:27]  So like what he would do, you go over there.
[00:01:31]  Son, I told you, I went to a specialized school.
[00:01:33]  I went to a specialized school.
[00:01:34]  He did sound like Scott.
[00:01:35]  I got PTSD there for a second.
[00:01:38]  We had a couple regular retards.
[00:01:39]  So we had this regular retard, right?
[00:01:41]  And so the regular retard, Scott, right?
[00:01:46]  What he didn't like is darkness, right?
[00:01:48]  Right, right.
[00:01:48]  Like, if you turn the lights out, if you turn the lights out, if you turn the lights out, right?
[00:01:55]  Scott would run through tables like Nutty Professor.
[00:01:58]  Remember?
[00:01:59]  Remember when Nutty, remember when Nutty Professor ran through the picnic table?
[00:02:03]  That's what Scott used to do in a class.
[00:02:05]  If you turn the light out, like we're going to watch a movie or something because the substitute's in there, and the substitute don't know we got a regular retard in the fucking class, right?
[00:02:12]  So he rolls the TV and he turns on Lion King, whatever, turns out the light.
[00:02:16]  Scott just goes, turn on our lights.
[00:02:18]  Just fucking running through the class, banging it into everybody.
[00:02:24]  And you got, look like something like ghetto bitches don't care if you're retarded or not, okay?
[00:02:29]  We had a couple ghetto bitches in our fucking class.
[00:02:32]  They don't care if you're retarded or not, right?
[00:02:34]  They literally just go, they'd be like, turn the light on.
[00:02:38]  This retard can't take the dark.
[00:02:43]  Oh, my God.
[00:02:46]  Son, out of nowhere, dude.
[00:02:49]  And sometimes we'd be like, yo, is he regular?
[00:02:51]  Is he retarded?
[00:02:51]  We're not sure, right?
[00:02:54]  He ain't regular.
[00:02:54]  No, no, he wasn't regular, but it was, you know, I went to public school.
[00:02:57]  It's a weirdo senior fucking school, bro.
[00:03:00]  So we're in the class, right?
[00:03:02]  And this guy, Scott out of nowhere, is just starting to make noise, right?
[00:03:07]  It's completely light.
[00:03:08]  So we don't know why it was irritating him.
[00:03:11]  Yeah, it's a new thing going on, right?
[00:03:13]  So we're trying to figure it all out.
[00:03:14]  We're trying to do the calculation.
[00:03:16]  And he's just starting to make noise.
[00:03:17]  He goes, like he's just doing like some like late night music sound check.
[00:03:24]  Right?
[00:03:25]  And we're like, what the fuck is going on?
[00:03:26]  And the teacher, because we might not be retarded, he might.
[00:03:29]  We're not sure, right?
[00:03:30]  Every once in a while, nobody asks.
[00:03:32]  You can't ask a retarded damn retard, right?
[00:03:34]  So we just, he just gets glimpses of regular every once in a while, right?
[00:03:38]  So we're just not sure if he's fucking with us or not.
[00:03:41]  So he goes, right?
[00:03:44]  And the teacher just stops and she goes, she goes, she goes, Scott, you got to be quiet.
[00:03:48]  And he goes, he goes, okay.
[00:03:50]  Right?
[00:03:50]  A couple of seconds later, and then the teacher turns around.
[00:03:54]  She goes, Scott, what part of be quiet do you not understand?
[00:03:58]  Goes, Libby!
[00:04:17]  He hit this shit!
[00:04:22]  He dropped that thing like he was following through.
[00:04:26]  You know, you hit a three, you leave the fucking hand up.
[00:04:30]  He follows through.
[00:04:31]  Libby!
[00:04:32]  My man held the follow-through on him.
[00:04:35]  Oh, what was the weirdest kid you guys had in your class?
[00:04:40]  Weirdest kid you can remember from school.
[00:04:44]  Yo, what's up?
[00:04:45]  This is Akash.
[00:04:46]  That was a preview of our Patreon episode.
[00:04:48]  If you want the full thing, go to www.patreon.com/slash flagrant true.
[00:04:53]  Join the illest community on earth unless you're a social justice warrior.
[00:04:58]  Then you're just going to ruin the fun.