Flagrant - Andrew Schulz & Akaash Singh - The ONE Way to get American's to Stay Inside | Patreon Clip
Aired: 2020-03-27
Duration: 22:15


=== Cultural Appropriation and Hygiene (03:30) ===

[00:00:04]  Yeah, we're ready to go.
[00:00:05]  We didn't do showers until like the Muslims invented it.
[00:00:09]  I think they did.
[00:00:10]  I think we're hygiene or something.
[00:00:12]  Apparently, like when the Muslims raided Spain, yo, you white people stink.
[00:00:16]  And funny how times change.
[00:00:20]  It's like we appropriated all that.
[00:00:22]  Yeah, let it never be said that you culturally appropriate.
[00:00:24]  You know what I mean?
[00:00:25]  You're not that guy.
[00:00:26]  You respect minority traditions and everything they started.
[00:00:28]  Yeah, that's what white people do.
[00:00:29]  We just appropriate the best cultures.
[00:00:31]  Like, you should be honored if we steal your shit.
[00:00:34]  You know, Mark out here with his avocado toast.
[00:00:37]  Yo, Mark has Mark brought.
[00:00:39]  I'm sorry to start the episode just trashing, Mark.
[00:00:41]  But two days in a row, Mark has brought in-glass Tupperware to work, in glass Tupperware, to work, a single slice of avocado toast.
[00:00:52]  Your girl do that for you?
[00:00:54]  She makes it, yeah.
[00:00:55]  So here's the thing.
[00:00:56]  Hold on.
[00:00:57]  I know.
[00:00:57]  When you ask you that question, what did you think?
[00:01:01]  Did your girl do that?
[00:01:03]  She makes it.
[00:01:04]  I put it in the top.
[00:01:08]  That's half the battle, bro.
[00:01:11]  Everybody's got to chip in during times of corona.
[00:01:14]  They're just going to pull your weight off, guys.
[00:01:15]  50-50 household.
[00:01:18]  I make the money.
[00:01:19]  She spends it.
[00:01:20]  50-50.
[00:01:21]  Yeah.
[00:01:22]  She just did.
[00:01:25]  Oh, fuck.
[00:01:27]  But now, Mark's girl, the sweetest girl, but she is unmistakably white.
[00:01:31]  Like, there's just that, dude.
[00:01:36]  You're getting soft, bro.
[00:01:38]  What is she?
[00:01:38]  Black.
[00:01:40]  Get the fuck out of here.
[00:01:41]  She's not black.
[00:01:41]  She's not black.
[00:01:42]  What is she?
[00:01:43]  She's Hispanic.
[00:01:44]  Yeah, she's half Costa Rican and like some Italian and some German.
[00:01:50]  Okay.
[00:01:51]  Costa Rican, bro.
[00:01:52]  That's fucking.
[00:01:53]  Yo.
[00:01:54]  Half, half.
[00:01:55]  Her mom did.
[00:01:56]  Her grandma didn't speak English, right?
[00:01:57]  The only thing powerful enough to overtake white with its halves is black.
[00:02:02]  What about Indian?
[00:02:03]  Half Indian, half white is white.
[00:02:04]  Really?
[00:02:05]  Yeah.
[00:02:06]  What about you're very coming across very 2%?
[00:02:10]  What is that?
[00:02:10]  What is that?
[00:02:11]  There's like 2% drops of blood or something like that.
[00:02:14]  Oh, 1%.
[00:02:14]  1% is if you're 1% black, you're black.
[00:02:17]  1%.
[00:02:17]  Wow.
[00:02:18]  How the term 1% has changed.
[00:02:23]  Real talk.
[00:02:26]  He's a 1%er.
[00:02:27]  Like back in the day, that conversation.
[00:02:30]  We got to get these 1%ers out of here.
[00:02:32]  It was like, huh?
[00:02:32]  Yeah.
[00:02:34]  And the 2%ers and the 3%ers?
[00:02:38]  But yeah, man.
[00:02:39]  It is.
[00:02:40]  Yeah, she's a Hispanic woman, bro.
[00:02:42]  She's not Hispanic, yo.
[00:02:44]  That's a Hispanic woman, bro.
[00:02:45]  She's from Florida.
[00:02:46]  She's from Italian and German.
[00:02:47]  Florida?
[00:02:49]  Italian and German, yo.
[00:02:50]  Yo, you know who else?
[00:02:51]  Half Hispanic?
[00:02:52]  George Zimmerman?
[00:02:54]  You don't see that motherfucker as Latino?
[00:02:56]  Yo, is he famous enough to get Corona?
[00:03:00]  Bruh, this is what's terrifying about Corona.
[00:03:03]  Yo, as famous people are getting it.
[00:03:05]  That's a thing, dude.
[00:03:06]  I'm starting to be a little skeptical of this because, I mean, we were talking about in the pod about how it's like the new blue check, but it's like it seems like everybody.
[00:03:16]  This is what I'm starting to believe.
[00:03:17]  I'm starting to believe there's a lot of different strains of this Corona.
[00:03:22]  That's possible, right?
[00:03:24]  And I think, and I think, fuck Mark.
[00:03:27]  Get your fucking avocado toast, Mark.
[00:03:30]  So I'm starting to think that there's way different straight.
[00:03:33]  Do you hear the crunch on that?

=== Corona as the New Blue Check (09:22) ===

[00:03:35]  Could you have brought a louder item?
[00:03:37]  What kind of bread is that?
[00:03:39]  Just throw some Doritos on there, would you?
[00:03:43]  So, but here's the thing.
[00:03:44]  If there's put hot Cheetos on an avocado toast, I believe she's Latina.
[00:03:48]  Now, here's the thing: if there's multiple types of strains, there's a possibility that we all have like the weak strain, or the majority of us have the weak strain.
[00:03:58]  Right.
[00:03:58]  You and I maybe have already had it.
[00:04:00]  We're still susceptible to that strong shit.
[00:04:02]  Doesn't mean we can't get it.
[00:04:04]  But this way, when all the famous people get tested, of course they got it.
[00:04:08]  Right.
[00:04:08]  Yes.
[00:04:09]  Okay.
[00:04:09]  That's that's potentially valid.
[00:04:11]  Listen, I'm not a scientist.
[00:04:13]  You know, I've said that many times.
[00:04:15]  Right.
[00:04:16]  I've said that many times.
[00:04:18]  Okay.
[00:04:19]  Yesterday I had to explain to Mark about how oxygen gets into the oxygen tank.
[00:04:24]  That's actually a fascinating ass question.
[00:04:27]  Thank you, Arkash.
[00:04:28]  Do you want to know how Mark was being all fucking smug and smart about it?
[00:04:38]  So listen, because I was thinking yesterday and I'm like, how the fuck?
[00:04:41]  You just unscrew it and then screw that shit back on.
[00:04:45]  Thank you.
[00:04:46]  Son, it's how it's not in there already.
[00:04:49]  Like I'm saying.
[00:04:50]  Look, wait, wait.
[00:04:51]  Like, we're paying people to fill it with oxygen.
[00:04:54]  Go like that.
[00:04:55]  You got the oxygen, bro.
[00:04:58]  Like, how does it not have it?
[00:04:59]  That's what I understand.
[00:05:01]  I don't know.
[00:05:01]  I also feel that way about light.
[00:05:03]  I'm sorry.
[00:05:04]  But, like, I feel I should be able to bottle it.
[00:05:10]  Like, I feel, I literally do feel.
[00:05:14]  I feel like, look, like, if light is just, if life just waves, right?
[00:05:24]  Why are we paying for light bulbs?
[00:05:26]  Shouldn't we just be able to scoop up some sun like that?
[00:05:28]  Bottle that shit up, put that on your dresser, and then we're good.
[00:05:33]  Then we're good, bro.
[00:05:35]  If it's traveling here, listen.
[00:05:39]  Mark's about to walk out the park.
[00:05:40]  Mark's about to walk.
[00:05:42]  If we're traveling, if the light is traveling, right?
[00:05:46]  Hey, bro.
[00:05:47]  The light is traveling, okay?
[00:05:49]  Yo, yo.
[00:05:50]  Okay?
[00:05:50]  Yo.
[00:05:51]  What?
[00:05:51]  I actually have another question, Mark.
[00:05:53]  You smug motherfucker.
[00:05:54]  Thank you.
[00:05:55]  When they say traveling at the speed of light, do they mean light bulb light or do they mean sunlight light or starlight light?
[00:06:02]  Bro, it's the same light, though.
[00:06:03]  See light.
[00:06:04]  No, it's not the same light.
[00:06:05]  What's the motherfucker?
[00:06:06]  What on is electricity, yo?
[00:06:08]  You think electrical light is less?
[00:06:10]  Yeah, I mean, I assume.
[00:06:12]  Bro, fucking.
[00:06:12]  I'm not going to lie.
[00:06:14]  No, dude.
[00:06:14]  You think it's retarded?
[00:06:15]  No, there is a difference because sometimes you turn on a light and it goes click.
[00:06:22]  Click click click.
[00:06:23]  And then it goes on.
[00:06:24]  Yeah.
[00:06:24]  You gave it a retarded list when you did it, bro.
[00:06:26]  Son, the sun, when it rises, never goes, and then a sunrise.
[00:06:32]  The sun is also always going.
[00:06:34]  Always.
[00:06:34]  Sometimes you turn off a light.
[00:06:37]  Mark, let me tell you something, bro.
[00:06:40]  I think these scientists are lying to us.
[00:06:43]  I really do think I really sincerely, and I understand it's a stupid question.
[00:06:47]  I understand people watching right now are like, wow, this guy's a fucking idiot.
[00:06:50]  That being said.
[00:06:51]  Are you, though?
[00:06:52]  Bro, I don't think any of our engines are dumb, dude.
[00:06:55]  Guess what?
[00:06:56]  How is it if I take some light and there's light inside the glass and I just and I close it, why is the light not in there still?
[00:07:06]  Why is the light not in there still?
[00:07:09]  Can someone explain that to me?
[00:07:11]  Why?
[00:07:12]  Or here's a better question.
[00:07:13]  If I could close it at the speed of light, would it stay in there?
[00:07:20]  If I could take a jar, let the light go in there, and if I could hypothetically close that jar at the speed of light, meaning the ability to close it would trap whatever was in there, would it stay lit?
[00:07:31]  That works because light's not an element.
[00:07:34]  It's not like out in the atmosphere.
[00:07:36]  It's just something that shines and you just can't.
[00:07:37]  Can I just say one thing?
[00:07:38]  Can I just say one thing?
[00:07:39]  I know he didn't hear me at all.
[00:07:42]  I just thought of one thing.
[00:07:43]  I just thought of one thing.
[00:07:44]  You know how they're like, Shakespeare wrote King Lear when he was in quarantine.
[00:07:48]  We figured out like now.
[00:07:52]  Explain what you're saying.
[00:07:53]  Light's not an element, right?
[00:07:54]  Yeah.
[00:07:54]  It's not just in the air.
[00:07:56]  It's just a thing that shines.
[00:07:57]  That's all it is.
[00:07:58]  It's not like a thing.
[00:08:00]  It's like the byproduct of a thing.
[00:08:01]  You know what I mean?
[00:08:02]  No.
[00:08:02]  Like the sun is just so fucking bright, that's how we get sunlight.
[00:08:06]  Are we going to have a is water wet conversation right now?
[00:08:10]  No, because water wet as fuck.
[00:08:12]  That's indisputable.
[00:08:13]  Now, water, it's not wet.
[00:08:15]  You've heard that conversation on the internet, right?
[00:08:17]  No.
[00:08:17]  Water's water.
[00:08:19]  Something dry goes in water, it gets wet.
[00:08:21]  Water itself is not wet.
[00:08:23]  That's nonsense, yo.
[00:08:25]  That's nonsense.
[00:08:26]  Mark, smugs, be smug for a second.
[00:08:30]  Did you know that's what a smug sounds like?
[00:08:32]  If you listen, you go, is there a smug out there?
[00:08:34]  And you hear it.
[00:08:37]  That's what a smug is.
[00:08:38]  No, but light, oxygen's in the air.
[00:08:40]  That's why I think when you trap the bottle, you're trapping air and not oxygen.
[00:08:45]  And air is not pure oxygen.
[00:08:47]  I could see it.
[00:08:47]  It's like nitrogen and all this other shit.
[00:08:49]  I don't know.
[00:08:50]  Yeah, but your body like filters out the other stuff.
[00:08:53]  Okay, so we'll do it.
[00:08:55]  I'm just saying light and oxygen.
[00:08:57]  The tank is pure oxygen.
[00:08:59]  It's a hustle.
[00:08:59]  Dog, it's a hustle.
[00:09:00]  Motherfuckers have been selling a shit that's free.
[00:09:03]  How are you going to tell me it costs me a certain amount of money to fill up a tank when I go and it's free every time I take a deep breath of it?
[00:09:11]  How is a tank of oxygen?
[00:09:13]  I can understand paying for the tank.
[00:09:16]  You know?
[00:09:19]  But you can't charge me to fill it because it's free.
[00:09:24]  Yo.
[00:09:25]  What are you charging me for for the tank to go?
[00:09:27]  No, but I'm saying that's pure oxygen.
[00:09:30]  I didn't ask for pure oxygen.
[00:09:31]  I'll take whatever we got.
[00:09:32]  But some people need pure oxygen.
[00:09:34]  For to breathe?
[00:09:35]  Yeah, if you got emphysema and shit.
[00:09:36]  Or if you got crohns or something.
[00:09:37]  Yeah, yeah, you got the corona.
[00:09:38]  I'm talking about for scuba diving in the Atlantic.
[00:09:40]  Oh.
[00:09:42]  That's a good ass point.
[00:09:43]  Oh, you thought that I was referring to like people on ventilators?
[00:09:47]  Do you think if you get nitrogen in your in like if you yeah, what the fuck, yo?
[00:09:51]  Thank you, bro.
[00:09:52]  This whole shit is a hustle.
[00:09:53]  And we didn't realize it because we weren't quarantined long enough.
[00:09:55]  Once you're quarantined, you start to see all the bullshit that's out there.
[00:09:58]  Light, Edison, hack.
[00:10:02]  Thomas Edison, is he the guy who did light?
[00:10:04]  Or is that Alexander Graham Bell?
[00:10:05]  Nah, that's the phone.
[00:10:07]  Phone is the best.
[00:10:08]  Edison is light.
[00:10:09]  But Edison did that shit on demand.
[00:10:11]  I was like, I didn't like that when his wife was calling him all the time.
[00:10:13]  Like before that, she'd be writing letters and shit.
[00:10:15]  She couldn't write all her fucking.
[00:10:17]  Probably was illiterate.
[00:10:18]  Women couldn't fuck her.
[00:10:18]  Do you think that's why men cheated so much back in the day?
[00:10:20]  They just forgot they had somebody.
[00:10:22]  Letters took three weeks.
[00:10:23]  It's like, oh, I still got it, bitch?
[00:10:25]  Bitch, I'm in Maine.
[00:10:26]  It's going to take a year to get back to Virginia.
[00:10:27]  I got to get some pussy.
[00:10:29]  I got to get some pussy out here.
[00:10:30]  Now, this bitch is calling him.
[00:10:31]  You got to jam some shit into his fucking ear the whole time.
[00:10:34]  I'm trying to get this gold to buy you shit.
[00:10:36]  I'm on the other side of the country.
[00:10:37]  Come on, it's a boolean.
[00:10:39]  Isn't that what they call a gold?
[00:10:41]  A boolean?
[00:10:43]  Isn't it?
[00:10:43]  A bullion, right?
[00:10:44]  Isn't that the shit that you put in the soup?
[00:10:46]  No, a gold bullion.
[00:10:48]  What's the shit you put in the soup?
[00:10:49]  The cube you put in the soup?
[00:10:50]  Chicken bullion.
[00:10:52]  I think.
[00:10:54]  I told you to reuse this shit, bro.
[00:10:58]  It's a farce, dog.
[00:10:59]  This whole shit is a farce.
[00:11:02]  Oxygen's free.
[00:11:03]  They're charging us for oxygen.
[00:11:05]  But if you get nitrogen in your lungs or some shit, isn't that something when you scuba dive?
[00:11:08]  Niten makes it go quicker.
[00:11:09]  You don't watch Fast and Two?
[00:11:11]  You've never seen that before?
[00:11:12]  Nitrogen is with.
[00:11:13]  Hey, bro, nitrogen.
[00:11:15]  If you scuba diving with nitrogen, bro, you coming back.
[00:11:20]  You're coming back up, guaranteed, bro.
[00:11:21]  Bro, you're launching out the water like a whale, bro.
[00:11:23]  Dude, it's fine.
[00:11:25]  Chargers can't catch you.
[00:11:27]  Can you make a tank where you inhale and then breathe out nitrogen and then they store that in the tank?
[00:11:32]  And then when you're ready to pop back up, press a little button, zoom.
[00:11:35]  Ah, gosh.
[00:11:36]  Zoom, zoom.
[00:11:37]  If they did that, they would be admitting that their whole thing is a farce.
[00:11:41]  Just like electricity is a farce.
[00:11:44]  Okay?
[00:11:44]  What is electricity?
[00:11:49]  Say it.
[00:11:50]  Say it.
[00:11:50]  You don't know, right?
[00:11:51]  Yeah.
[00:11:52]  No one even knows.
[00:11:53]  Do you know what it is?
[00:11:55]  They figured out how to put the light in the jar.
[00:11:58]  That's all electricity is.
[00:12:00]  Is they figured out how to put the light in there?
[00:12:02]  But it's artificial light because it looks different.
[00:12:04]  It's a nod.
[00:12:05]  You think some fucking loser with a kite is going to figure this shit out by himself?
[00:12:11]  He had to throw the scent off the trail.
[00:12:13]  Some loser with a kite.
[00:12:15]  Didn't he do it with a kite?
[00:12:16]  Didn't have some fucking dork.
[00:12:18]  Who is, first of all, what man is a kite, you fucking nerd.
[00:12:22]  If I saw a man by himself with no kids with a kite, there's a dead child somewhere around there, right?
[00:12:29]  That should be an episode of The Outsiders.
[00:12:31]  You just murdered a kid.
[00:12:32]  You murdered a kid.
[00:12:33]  Oh, my God.
[00:12:34]  And they caught you and you're like, oh, no, no, no, there's an experiment.
[00:12:37]  And then you just have to kick it.
[00:12:39]  Didn't you look a little petty?
[00:12:40]  Son.
[00:12:41]  Who did the kite thing?
[00:12:42]  Benjamin Franklin?
[00:12:43]  Benjamin Franklin, yo.
[00:12:44]  He looked like the king of the petties.
[00:12:45]  Hold on.
[00:12:46]  So Ben Franklin not only is on the $100 bill, was president, also discovers electricity.
[00:12:55]  Illuminatio.
[00:12:56]  Son.
[00:12:56]  Illuminati, yo.
[00:12:57]  Son.

=== The Virus Wants Your Freedom (09:17) ===

[00:12:58]  Bruh, that's how you get away with that shit.
[00:13:00]  Fucking all the kids he wants taking kites, and they're just like, he's fucking kids.
[00:13:04]  We got to give him something.
[00:13:05]  Electricity.
[00:13:06]  That's it.
[00:13:08]  Holy shit.
[00:13:08]  No, that's real, dude.
[00:13:09]  He probably just had bifocal so he could focus on them small ass dicks.
[00:13:14]  Nobody talks about that.
[00:13:16]  If you're hard of seeing, what is it?
[00:13:21]  Nobody talks about that.
[00:13:22]  If you don't have good vision and you're into kids, it's actually tougher because they're so small.
[00:13:28]  Yeah.
[00:13:28]  But if you're old and you need the far sight for everything else, but you need a little sight for them dicks, for them little undeveloped dicks.
[00:13:35]  From them dang a lingole.
[00:13:37]  From them dings.
[00:13:39]  Not even the whole danger.
[00:13:40]  Not the dang a language.
[00:13:41]  Just a ding.
[00:13:43]  You got to do something.
[00:13:44]  Bifocals.
[00:13:44]  Oh, God bless that this is Patreon.
[00:13:47]  So Americans have this rebellious spirit.
[00:13:50]  It's like built into our culture.
[00:13:52]  It's built into our DNA.
[00:13:54]  All of our heroes are rebellious in some way, shape, or form.
[00:13:57]  All of our cartoon characters are rebellious.
[00:13:59]  I mean, Bugs Bunny is fucking rebellious, right?
[00:14:01]  Like it's rebellion is part of our culture.
[00:14:03]  So the way that you can trick Americans into doing shit is make it seem like it's an act of rebellion, right?
[00:14:11]  And Mark was talking just about like a little bit like your philosophy in life.
[00:14:16]  Like, like you don't buy into the well, also sucking a dick, but sucking a dick.
[00:14:20]  Sucking a dick.
[00:14:22]  But like, the so capitalism, they have a really brilliant way, like American capitalism has a brilliant way of making you think consumption is rebellious, right?
[00:14:34]  So they sell you the fucking Che Guevara tea.
[00:14:37]  Right?
[00:14:37]  So you put all that Che Guevara tea because you're like, yeah, I'm about fucking rebellion, pushing back against.
[00:14:42]  And it's like, well, did you buy it?
[00:14:43]  Yeah, from where?
[00:14:44]  Urban Outfitters?
[00:14:45]  Okay, you're super rebellious, man.
[00:14:47]  Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[00:14:47]  Right?
[00:14:48]  So what we've done is brilliantly tapped into rebellion to get people to do the most, the least rebellious thing, right?
[00:14:57]  Which isn't there a company?
[00:14:58]  Was it Apple that's like think different?
[00:15:01]  Son, look up.
[00:15:02]  Oh, there it is.
[00:15:03]  Can you go to the wide?
[00:15:04]  Yeah.
[00:15:05]  I knew I seen that somewhere.
[00:15:08]  I thought I've seen that.
[00:15:09]  A podcast called Flagrant Something.
[00:15:12]  Long live the flagrant.
[00:15:15]  There's a podcast that's all about not letting you get easy buckets.
[00:15:18]  I don't know what the fuck it's about, but anyway, that's rebellion in there, right there, ingrained in the fucking...
[00:15:23]  Think different.
[00:15:24]  Think different.
[00:15:24]  So it's part of us.
[00:15:25]  So you can get someone to do what you want to do.
[00:15:27]  Matter of fact, you can get someone to conform, which is the opposite of rebellion, by tricking them into thinking it's rebellious.
[00:15:34]  Yeah.
[00:15:35]  Right?
[00:15:36]  And maybe that's what we need to do with quarantine.
[00:15:39]  Maybe we need to turn quarantine or shelter in place if we really want to market this right into rebellion.
[00:15:48]  Right?
[00:15:49]  Right.
[00:15:50]  I don't know exactly how to position it.
[00:15:52]  How would you guys position it?
[00:15:53]  Maybe they've already done it.
[00:15:54]  Go.
[00:15:55]  Where there's so many people being like, oh, these idiots on spring break at the beach, like, fuck them.
[00:16:01]  I'm going to rebel against what everyone's doing.
[00:16:03]  I'm going to stay inside.
[00:16:05]  But the real matter of fact is that everyone's already staying inside.
[00:16:08]  Interesting.
[00:16:09]  Does that make sense?
[00:16:11]  I don't think that going out to spring break is like ubiquitous to the point where we're rebelling against it.
[00:16:17]  But I do think that they really promoted that myself, including that spring break clip and seeing all the people in Florida on the beach.
[00:16:24]  I think the people that are really so fervent about the idea of staying inside think they're in the minority.
[00:16:32]  I think.
[00:16:33]  See, I'm social distancing.
[00:16:35]  We all are.
[00:16:36]  And I assume most people are in New York.
[00:16:38]  Like, I assume where we live, you go outside, there's fucking nobody.
[00:16:42]  Yeah.
[00:16:42]  I mean, I live kind of in the middle of nowhere, but like the cars, the highways are empty.
[00:16:46]  Yeah.
[00:16:46]  There's no nothing when I'm driving.
[00:16:49]  I am doing absolutely nothing different in my social interactions besides when I take a picture of somebody.
[00:16:54]  We jokingly keep six feet because it's funny.
[00:16:57]  That's literally nothing different has happened in my life because I've always been six feet from people.
[00:17:01]  I'm never close to people.
[00:17:03]  I don't hover around people.
[00:17:04]  When I'm waiting online at CVS to pay for something, I'm not two feet behind you.
[00:17:08]  I give you a fucking space.
[00:17:09]  There's no big deal.
[00:17:10]  Matter of fact, I don't really wait on a lot of lines.
[00:17:12]  And I'm not saying that on some like bougie shit, but like in my life, there's not a lot of lines that I have to wait on.
[00:17:17]  Niggas don't have lines like that.
[00:17:18]  One of the people max.
[00:17:19]  Walk in, grab your fucking kind bar, walk out.
[00:17:22]  Yeah.
[00:17:23]  It doesn't change that much.
[00:17:25]  But if you want to get Americans to do anything, you have to tap into the rebellious spirit.
[00:17:30]  What the fuck are we rebelling against?
[00:17:32]  Who is the force working against us that we can push back on?
[00:17:35]  Is it the people in Florida?
[00:17:37]  I don't know.
[00:17:37]  We need a force.
[00:17:38]  Who's the bad guy?
[00:17:39]  Maybe you rebel against the other countries that are making their citizens stay in.
[00:17:43]  Like by force, you could be like, yo, Americans don't need that.
[00:17:46]  We'll do it by choice.
[00:17:47]  We're not like you.
[00:17:48]  We're different than fucking China.
[00:17:49]  You got to force people at gunpoint.
[00:17:51]  You don't need that.
[00:17:52]  We'll prove to you you don't need that.
[00:17:53]  We'll stay in by choice.
[00:17:54]  We will social distance with our freedom.
[00:17:57]  That's what we'll use our freedom for.
[00:17:58]  I got the freedom to socially distance.
[00:18:01]  Yeah.
[00:18:02]  Maybe, I doubt this, but maybe that's what Cuomo was saying.
[00:18:06]  And maybe the governor Callie is saying on some level, he's like, I'm not going to tell you guys you have to stay inside.
[00:18:11]  You know, you still have the right to go outside.
[00:18:13]  Just at the other end.
[00:18:14]  Maybe they know that the second they say that it's mandatory, that rebellious spirit that's inside everybody.
[00:18:20]  And you want to go to the middle.
[00:18:21]  Fuck you, motherfucker.
[00:18:22]  I'm going out.
[00:18:23]  It's like when I was a kid, the second my parents gave me a curfew, you know what time I came in?
[00:18:28]  One minute after?
[00:18:29]  One minute before.
[00:18:30]  Right.
[00:18:30]  Oh, okay.
[00:18:31]  Like, I'm going to 11.
[00:18:32]  Oh, okay.
[00:18:33]  I got you.
[00:18:33]  You know what I mean?
[00:18:34]  Like, if you say what I can't do, that's what I'm going to do right up until then.
[00:18:38]  Yeah.
[00:18:38]  Now I'm an adult.
[00:18:39]  I don't have a curfew.
[00:18:41]  I'll be in the crib at 9.
[00:18:42]  It's the best.
[00:18:43]  It's fucking amazing.
[00:18:44]  Yeah.
[00:18:44]  It's the best.
[00:18:45]  So how do you trick Americans?
[00:18:48]  What do we do?
[00:18:49]  We're in this think tank right now trying to manipulate Americans into quarantining.
[00:18:53]  Right.
[00:18:54]  How would we do it?
[00:18:59]  I mean, you got to trick them into thinking that that's what it means to be an American.
[00:19:02]  Okay.
[00:19:02]  That's one way.
[00:19:03]  That's like some Eddie Bernays shit where he's like, like the American breakfast, eggs and sausage.
[00:19:09]  And he was working for the sausage company to boost sausage sales.
[00:19:12]  Yeah.
[00:19:12]  But it's like if you can trick them into thinking that patriotism is like it's protecting your fellow citizens.
[00:19:18]  And protect your fellow citizens.
[00:19:21]  And I think tapping into the war mentality.
[00:19:23]  Like the war.
[00:19:24]  I was just about to say that we're at war.
[00:19:25]  We're at war with an enemy that's not a human being.
[00:19:29]  It is a virus.
[00:19:30]  The only way we win this war is by keeping apart together.
[00:19:34]  You know what that virus wants you to do?
[00:19:36]  Go outside.
[00:19:37]  That virus wants you to hang out with your friends.
[00:19:39]  That virus wants you to go to work.
[00:19:41]  That virus wants you to hug your loved ones so that it can use you to jump from body to body.
[00:19:46]  Do you know what I mean?
[00:19:47]  Killing your family.
[00:19:48]  Killing your family.
[00:19:50]  Attacking your kids.
[00:19:51]  Do you remember letting the terrorists win?
[00:19:53]  If you do this, you're letting the terrorists win.
[00:19:55]  In reality, to your Eddie Bernay's point, all that was was, hey man, people got to keep buying shit.
[00:20:01]  People got to keep going out to bars.
[00:20:02]  People got to keep going out to clubs or the economy is fucked.
[00:20:05]  We need transactions or the economy is fucked.
[00:20:07]  Hollywood.
[00:20:08]  Yo, you know what?
[00:20:10]  If you don't go spend money, you're letting the terrorists win.
[00:20:13]  You don't go to that football game, you're letting the terrorists win.
[00:20:16]  Don't let the virus win.
[00:20:20]  You go out there and you play your little soccer game outside.
[00:20:23]  You're letting the virus win.
[00:20:24]  Yeah.
[00:20:25]  Don't let the virus.
[00:20:26]  Fuck.
[00:20:27]  Stop positioning things as we have to save old people.
[00:20:29]  No one cares about old people.
[00:20:30]  If we cared about old people, we wouldn't shove them into these fucking prisons where they're getting beaten the shit out of by some half-nurse that's taking care of them, right?
[00:20:39]  Yeah.
[00:20:40]  Don't let the virus win.
[00:20:43]  The virus wants you to do this.
[00:20:45]  The virus is preying off your need for social contact.
[00:20:48]  It's preying off your need for connectivity.
[00:20:51]  Nobody wants you to be around the people you love more than the virus so it can infect all of them.
[00:20:57]  Really position.
[00:20:58]  The virus wants you at the bar getting drunk with your friends.
[00:21:02]  The virus thinks you can't function without that.
[00:21:05]  It knows you can't function without that.
[00:21:07]  It knows.
[00:21:07]  I like that challenge.
[00:21:08]  It is.
[00:21:09]  Challenge of challenges.
[00:21:10]  If we fall apart as a society, we can't go out to happy hour with our friends.
[00:21:14]  It knows how weak you get when you don't have that connectivity.
[00:21:18]  It knows you don't have the strength.
[00:21:20]  Even hearing that, I'm like, fuck you, virus.
[00:21:22]  Fuck you.
[00:21:23]  Suck my dick.
[00:21:24]  Do you know what I mean?
[00:21:25]  But if that's the difference about culture, because if in China, they're like, it knows you can't exist with other people.
[00:21:30]  They're like, oh, that's right.
[00:21:32]  How did it know about me?
[00:21:34]  How does the virus know all these things?
[00:21:36]  Is the virus the government?
[00:21:37]  Oh, President Xi, I'm so sorry.
[00:21:41]  It's a mickey diviry.
[00:21:43]  Oh, no.
[00:21:46]  Dude, that's it.
[00:21:46]  We figured out the virus.
[00:21:47]  The virus wants you to infect your friends.
[00:21:49]  They'd be like, let's go outside.
[00:21:50]  That's what the virus wants.
[00:21:51]  Just tell me what to do.
[00:21:53]  Stop a confusion.
[00:21:56]  Tell me how to handle.
[00:22:01]  Yo, what's up?
[00:22:01]  This is Akash.
[00:22:02]  That was a preview of our Patreon episode.
[00:22:05]  If you want the full thing, go to www.patreon.com slash flagrant true.
[00:22:10]  Join the illest community on earth.
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