Alex Schulz and Akaash Singh dissect New York's quarantine arrogance, noting how pleasant weather drives social distancing violations despite airborne virus risks. They speculate older adults might prefer death over lockdowns disrupting the economy, contrasting this with UK salary support plans. The hosts theorize Venice's cleared canals signal an alien reset or planetary regeneration, while proposing GoFundMe campaigns to aid comedy clubs and first responders instead of broad aid. Ultimately, they suggest the pandemic serves as a necessary societal pause requiring targeted economic intervention rather than universal assistance. [Automatically generated summary]
Transcriber: nvidia/parakeet-tdt-0.6b-v2, sat-12l-sm, and large-v3-turbo
|
Time
Text
Six Feet of New York Dirt00:14:43
What's up people and welcome to another episode of this unnamed show.
I think we're going to do a new name every single episode.
So today's episode name goes Comes from my man Vidal out in Chicago.
It's called Flagrant Flu.
Nice little pun.
I like that.
Nice little flu pun.
Based on, of course, Flagrant 2.
A lot of you guys know what that is or listen if you don't get on it.
My man Akash saying Alex Media as well.
Let's take a sip.
Let's start it up.
You know what we're sipping on today?
Bring it up.
Raise it up.
Don't be lazy.
I know you got nothing to do.
You quarantine.
Showing that bottle.
Oh, shit.
You know, we got that 1942.
We drink it.
You know what I mean?
Yeah.
We drink it good out here.
There we go.
I just realized 1942 was not when Columbus sailed the ocean blue.
Like 1942.
It's 1492.
He sailed the ocean.
What happened in 1942?
Fucking dyslexic as most.
I'm saying, baby, dude, 1942.
We're just coming out of depression.
Maybe that's what.
Uh-oh.
Uh-oh.
All right, let's take a sip.
What's up, everybody at home?
How are you?
How you feeling?
How you coping?
How you dealing with this?
You doing okay?
Life pretty good?
You bored?
Do you have things to do?
Are you learning a new thing every single day?
We've been seeing people do that.
That's been pretty dope.
I hit my limit today, man.
What?
I'm going to be honest.
I hit my limit today.
I need cardio exercise in order to keep my mentals right.
Oh, okay.
I need that cardio, Al.
I need that cardio people at home.
And I hadn't done any type of cardio.
I don't really run.
I do like kickboxing or boxing or I'll do some kind of, maybe I hit the treadmill a little bit, but it's usually I do some kind of exercise that has a lot of like high heart rate stuff because I need to calm this shit up here down.
And I hadn't done anything, dog.
I hadn't done anything at all.
And I just hit my limit, man.
I hit my limit and I said, fuck it.
We're going for a run.
So me and my girl went for a run and it cleared my whole thing down and or at least calmed my whole head down or whatever and cleared my mind.
And I also have another observation and that is that New Yorkers do not give a fuck about the coronavirus, about quarantines, about social distancing at all.
They were out there today.
I mean, the running paths packed.
The bike paths packed.
Tennis courts had a line waiting to play doubles.
I mean, if you're going to play tennis, I understand that, but that's one-on-one.
You got a fence in between you.
It's the perfect corona sport.
We've gone over that.
But doubles, you're literally right next to someone who you're breathing and sweating and grunting around.
I mean, people playing basketball, people playing soccer.
Like, you could not believe the amount of people that were out today.
We out here looking like Florida, man.
Bro, real talk, man.
And that's the thing.
It's hard to quarantine when the days are nice.
When the sun's out, it's almost impossible to quarantine.
Something happens in your body where it's like, well, the Rona can't survive, sun.
The Rona can't survive 65 and sunny, bro.
No cloudy skies can't be any Rona.
I think that's really our attitude towards it.
Yeah, bugging.
Listen, I understand we're bugging.
I also understand if we're going to do a hair check.
Alex and I both came in with hats on today.
You already know.
It's about to be hats for the rest of the month.
Hey, hey, take one more look.
Take one more look because I was looking crazy last podcast, okay?
But yeah, I just realized it.
Like, there's something about New Yorkers that we don't give a fuck.
And I know Florida, et cetera, I get it.
The warm weather, that's fine.
California, everybody's already quarantined.
It's easy to quarantine there.
People don't go out and like hang out.
If you ever go to like California, go to LA, people have their homes.
They have a pool in their backyard.
They have tons of land.
They have space.
They're not living on top of each other.
When you go to like an urban city like New York, it's hard when you're in a shoebox to just stay in that bitch all the time, especially when it's beautiful outside.
You're coming from a shitty actually.
Our winter has been pretty good, don't get me wrong, but like you're coming from cold weather and all of a sudden you wake up, you see blue in the sky, the sun is out.
You want to feel that a little bit on your skin and get outside.
It's a social city, too.
It's a social city.
It's everywhere.
We like to be around people.
We like to talk.
We like to say, I mean, you know how your came around?
Is you saw someone you kind of knew.
Kind of knew.
In the distance.
Sometimes you don't even realize that.
You might not know.
He just got the same hat on that you got.
Yo, you Yankee fit.
You're boom.
That like we need to connect.
That's what it is, bro.
I'm telling you, there's something about it.
And New Yorkers, we just don't, we're fucking arrogant people.
And I bet there's people listening to this around the world or watching this around the world and they're probably relating in their urban cities or urban environments as well.
But like, there's something about New Yorkers where I think New York is such a filthy city.
It's such a dirty city that a little bit of us thinks we're immune.
A little bit.
Like we're used to riding the subway.
The New York City subway.
Also, the home of many people who are homeless, stinking, dirty.
Everybody's dirty.
You're walking the streets.
You're grabbing shit.
And we're holding on to the metal poles of the New York City subway with our bare hands.
Matter of fact, our parents would tell us when we get on the subway, hold on to the pole, right?
I know what you're thinking.
Well, if you're going to hold on to the pole, you could get the flu.
That's true.
But if you fall onto the floor, you're going to get AIDS.
So we were taking flu over AIDS.
AIDS is on the floor.
100% guaranteed.
Oh, absolutely.
I mean, there's AIDS all over that floor.
I've never seen, this is how dirty the New York City subways are.
Have you ever seen anybody clean the subway?
Nope, never.
The subway's 24/7.
Keep this in mind.
It's like an AIDS carpet.
It's an AIDS carpet.
I can show you.
I see you.
But for real, dude, it is.
I've never seen a subway clean in my entire life.
Yo, they did graffiti all over the subways, and then the MTA was just like, I guess we should just get new subways.
We don't know how to clean them.
We don't know how to wipe the shit off.
Let's just get some new ones.
There's no time to clean the subway.
Where are they putting them?
It's a 24-hour service.
I know some of you guys may be watching.
You guys have your mass transit from six in the morning to nine at night or 11 at night.
No, 24 hours, seven days a week.
It doesn't shut down.
Okay?
We're not afraid of filth.
There's rats everywhere.
There's piss everywhere.
The garbage on the streets.
You know how every other first world country has a container that all the people put the garbage from their apartments in on the street and then the truck picks it up?
Not New York.
You just put it on the street.
It's 2020.
It's 2020.
And you just take your garbage and put it right on the street.
So we're used to fucking filth.
And I think we're immune.
And that's why.
And there's something about the coronavirus that I realized that, like, the second they were like, just stay six feet away from each other, that's the worst thing that they could have done.
Because if you want to leave the house, you're like, I could stay six feet away from people.
When am I closer than that?
When you're out there in the world with people you don't know, when are you less than six feet from them?
Matter of fact, if you live in New York, and I don't know about you guys watching, but if you live in New York and somebody is within six feet of you, there's usually a conversation or a head nod, like, you good?
Like, if a guy's here, you good?
That's part of the reason I stopped taking a train.
It's too much, you good.
Just too much, too close.
Like, back up.
Is everyone not good here?
Like, come on now.
It's a crazy time.
And I'm telling you, there's this drive for us to be social.
Nothing stops social.
Dude, I remember, distinctly remember, people went out to comedy clubs after 9-11, bro.
What?
They did.
They went out to comedy.
Not like the same night, but I'm saying like the weekend after.
They were going to comedy clubs, man.
People were going to party.
Like, that didn't shut people down.
Wow.
Yeah, man.
You know what I mean?
I'm not talking about people partying like out there and, you know, fucking the caves and shit where Ben Laden was.
I'm talking about like, they were definitely parted.
But I'm talking about New Yorkers were partying.
So I think we think that we're immune to this shit or it can't fuck with us or can't get us.
I think they never should have told us that six feet will make you fine.
If they said it's airborne and if you go out, you're going to feel it.
I think we would have paid attention.
I think we would have pay attention.
But I noticed a weird thing, man, when I was out today.
And I wonder if you guys feel this as well.
But there's something about the virus being airborne or on things that creates a claustrophobia even when you're outside.
Like I leave my house because I feel like the walls are kind of caving a little bit.
You've been in it so long.
You're like, I just need to break free from this, right?
But when you go outside, you're not breaking free.
You're actually breaking into the virus.
Good point.
Right?
Like, your apartment or your home is safe.
You've lights all wiped everything.
You and your girl don't got it.
You're good.
But the second you go out and you touch the elevator, right?
You're doing this.
You touch an elevator with your knuckle.
So my knuckles are worn down, bro.
I'm on chimp mode.
You know what I mean?
Like, it is, it's crazy how you could go from thinking usually how we normally live our lives, like, ah, I can't wait to get out there and breathe some fresh air.
And the second you're out there breathing fresh air, you're like, wait, is this air fresh?
Every store you go into, you got the mask, you got the gloves on, you know, you're seeing people in there, like, do they have it?
You're trying to judge based on the way they look.
Do they have it?
Right?
I mean, it's like, it's a different way of going through life, man.
I remember running today.
And if I would run by someone, I would kind of like put my hand up to like block them.
And it was no disrespect, but I was like, yo, don't breathe on me, fam.
That hand is blocking it.
That hand is what am I supposed to do, bro.
Jones?
Come on.
I'd give a shoulder roll, Corona, dog.
I had that Floyd.
Shouts out to Floyd, bro.
I was like this, bobbing and weaving.
Okay?
I'm not any better.
I think I said it out here, the fucking elevator situation.
Oh, yeah.
Well, you didn't tell you to say this because so I live on the 37th floor.
So when I have to go out my building.
37th floor.
See that light flex?
When we go down, if one person gets on, I'm still looking at you a little crazy, but I'm going to the other side of the elevator.
Yo, we over here.
Corners.
Second person gets on, I walk right out.
Right out.
I stopped one person one time, but then I felt bad.
So now I just get out when I'm in the middle.
Yeah, but you said when you stopped the man and his kid, the guy looked at you like, no, I did it.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
Everybody knows the rules.
He was fine with it, but then I felt bad doing that.
So now it's like, all right, I'll just leave that elevator.
I don't want to stop people from getting on the elevator.
I cannot explain to you guys at home how small my elevator is.
Oh, my God.
It's so small, there's no social distancing.
My elevator feels like a water slide.
Do you ever do those water slides when you go to the water park where like you're encased in it?
That's my elevator.
Your elevator is like a coffin.
My elevator is Charlie and the Chocolate factor.
Yes, the shit.
That fat cat got caught in.
Remember that?
Augustus Glump?
Augustus Glump not fitting in my elevator.
Okay?
And that's what I got to be in potential with other people, bro.
Oh, man.
It's just, it's a different time.
But that outside situation, you should have never told us.
We would have really stayed in.
But the fact that you gave us that six feet, now I got to stay six feet away from people.
But I'm still out there on my P's and Qs.
It's like every neighborhood became the hood.
You know how, like, when you're in the hood, your senses are like super heightened.
Yep, you know how they say, like, blind people can hear real well, but like, that's how we all are when we're in the hood, right?
We're just like, is that a boombox?
You know, you're just listening for shit that could be dangerous, right?
Is this guy following me?
What's going on?
Like, if you're in any kind of dangerous neighborhood, as I say this, I imagine some of you guys that hunt have probably felt the same way.
And realistically, if you're living like a big city and you don't hunt, being in the hood is the closest to being prey.
Like, you ever see those deers that are like drinking out of the lake?
You know what I mean?
And like a lion runs up on it or an alligator runs up on it.
Like, that's how I am in the hood.
I know I'm a deer.
Like, if I'm walking in a bad neighborhood, I ain't no fucking lion, bro.
I'm out there like these big old ears start moving on their own.
The ears start turning in the direction of where to sound like a bird, bro.
So, so it's like, that's how I feel with the Rona, man.
I'm listening for sneezes, listening for coughs, you know.
And uh, Instagram live, you can see this later tonight.
Just go to youtube.com/slash flavor2.
We'll continue this talk, man.
But, um, the claustrophobia is real out there.
And you know who doesn't seem scared?
Old people.
Have you?
You would think a virus that specifically kills them will put fear in them, right?
Well, you see, old people all the time?
Old people outside, tons of them.
Some of them, no gloves, nothing.
Yo, that's some YOLO shit right there.
Yo, yo, yo.
But here's the thing.
And I've thought about it.
We assume they're not done living.
We assume they're afraid to die because we're putting our feelings about life onto them.
All right.
Right?
That little 42 came up right there.
Little Burpitsko.
Here, another cheers.
Cheers, everybody at home.
We double up.
So it's the same thing.
Like, you know, how like when we call girls crazy, we are, any girls listen right now, we are judging you based on our definition of crazy, right?
So if you check, which is crazy to us, right?
But like, crazy is a cultural thing too, and a gender thing, right?
You know, like, we think it's crazy, maybe, to like, you know, make women walk around and like, you know, fully covered up all the time, right?
That's crazy to us.
But another culture would be like, that's respectful.
And that culture might look at us and be like, yo, that's crazy that you let women walk out here in bikinis and all that kind of shit.
So there's like, so the same thing goes with crazy with women, right?
We're like, oh, you've texted us 100 times in a row.
That's crazy, right?
Quarantine Gym Hacks for Everyone00:08:13
Or if you're angry at us for something that happened in your dream, I didn't whisper shit into your ear, so you dreamed that.
That was specific.
I'm saying it quiet.
My girl in the other room.
It is what it is.
You know what I mean?
But this bitch be dreaming to us.
I would turn them up.
Who are you?
Martin Luther King?
Calm that shit down.
I have a dream.
Do you have a nightmare every once in a while?
What's up with these dreams?
Honestly, if Martin Luther King knew how much my girl dreamed, bro, he would be like, listen, you dream enough for both of us.
Just it's so much goddamn dream.
Like, you didn't hear it.
I said, I had a dream.
Bro, I get nervous when she blinks.
Hey, if you blink too long, you might end up dreaming where I cheated again.
She had a quick flashback every time she blinked.
She'll blink be like, this is my girl.
This is my girl.
Why would you say that?
Why would you look at her like that?
So I'm starting to think we're judging their fear based on us.
Like, we're afraid of losing them because we love them.
We're afraid of them dying because we love them.
And we don't want to lose our parents or grandparents, right?
But I'm starting to think, like, if you ever talk to old people, old people, 80 and up, the ones that could get killed by the shit, they're not afraid of death.
Regular old people, I think every time I've spoken to them, are comfortable with death.
They feel like they've lived a life.
They feel like they've accomplished tons.
They feel like they've, you know, experienced what the world has to offer.
They're not saying I want to die, but they're like, if I do, I'm okay with that.
I accept that.
And it's an interesting thing because we made all these decisions before asking old people.
Like, we made all these decisions what to do with the economy and what to do and how to handle this thing.
What if we were able to just go to old people, like, yo, some of y'all are going to die from this shit?
We're going to do the best we can.
What do you think we should do?
Should we shut everything down, potentially fuck up the economy, make people, you know, lose their jobs, lose their livelihood?
Like, or would you guys like to quarantine yourselves until this shit is over?
You guys quarantine yourselves, and we give you a stimulus package, just you old folks.
We send some money to you guys.
We get helpers to deliver you food, which would be way less people.
Like, instead of sending the National Guard out to shut down every bridge and keep everybody in their house, we can send the National Guard to just drop over some, shop off some food to the old people, right?
Everybody keeps going on.
Life keeps going on.
People still working.
Everything's good.
But let's not send that message out because I just heard a story.
A friend of mine, his co-worker, 33 years old, tested positive for it and is now an ICU on a ventilator.
So look, look.
So there are going to be those cases, right?
There's always a case where a guy was 40 years old, he had a heart attack and died or some shit like that.
And it's tragic.
Don't get me wrong.
But the majority we can of cases, right?
So a little part of me is like, maybe we should have asked these people.
Because I wonder if these old people would have just been like, God, we don't want to burden you guys like that.
We've lived an amazing life.
And if we can self-quarantine, and if we can, I mean, how much old people even go out anyway?
You know what I mean?
They play that game where they throw the round silver ball and then they throw the little balls at it.
What's that shit called?
What the fuck are you talking about?
I don't know.
Banaka or something?
I'm not sure what the name player, but it's something.
Back game, and they're just playing their little games.
But like, I just, I truly wonder if they were like, if they go, hey, no, we don't want to, we don't want to disrupt what you guys got going on and we don't want to hurt what you guys got going on.
Why don't you guys keep doing that?
We'll self-quarantine.
You guys look after us and make sure that the ventilators are ready.
Make sure all those things are ready.
And then if we call you, come get us.
But let's not shut up, shut down the global economy over people who potentially, and I don't know for certain, who potentially don't fear death in the way young people do.
Because we fear it, because we love living this life.
We can run around, jump around, play video games, you know what I mean?
Go out to the bar, drink this, that, the other.
Old people can't do that shit.
They got a nap after every one of those activities.
You know, I'd just be really curious.
We should actually call in to an old person.
Or like, if you guys are living with your parents that are super old, just ask them.
Ask them if they would want this, if they would want what's going on.
And we always make decisions for people without fucking asking them, man.
We always decide what people will want, decide what people would benefit from, etc.
And I don't know.
Maybe it's different.
Maybe it's fucking different, man.
Who knows?
I've been thinking about thinking about other Corona hacks because apparently one of the hacks we gave them, Al really worked out.
I told you guys to hit up those restaurants that don't normally deliver or have takeaway, but now they're delivering to stay open.
Carbone was one of them.
And my girl and I were trying to order from there.
She said they put her on hold for 15 minutes and then just hung up.
Oh, wow.
So that's how many of you motherfuckers were out there trying to get some shit from Carbone.
And I respect it.
Go do it.
So here's the other hack.
Remember, I was telling you how valuable working out is, right?
At least for me, for my mental health.
And I need good mental health so that I can be quarantined with another human being.
No matter how much you love your significant other, right?
We both become a different version of ourselves when we're not treating our bodies and treating our minds the way they're supposed to be.
Everybody can go a little crazy if they're not giving their system what it needs to function at a high level and exercise one of those things, at least for me.
And so here's a dope corona hack.
Mark was telling me, you know how all these gyms are closed?
Right?
So Mark said that, and you guys know Mark, Mark said that these gyms are renting out equipment, which is fire.
So let's say you got a spot, you got your house, or you got your apartment, and you can move around some furniture and put that little treadmill up there.
Boom, there's cardio.
Get that couple miles in every single day.
You could even bring some weights over.
But there's a way where you could work out for almost nothing.
Guaranteed, you get, offer them a few bucks.
They're making zero off it.
You might as well offer them a few bucks.
They're literally making zero.
You offer a few.
Now you got a treadmill in the place, right?
Exercise done.
Weights done.
Everything done, ready to go.
Getting your best shape of your life during the quarantine.
It's literally like being in prison, right?
Usually when people go to prison, they come out looking jacked diesel.
We just can't do that because we don't have the workout thing in the crib.
We'll get the workout thing, put it in the crib.
Now we got no excuse.
It's literally probably close to free.
Matter of fact, maybe you just say, yo, I'll sign up as a membership.
Can you just give me some shit?
Everything's negotiable.
Everything's on the table right now.
I've been digging a little bit.
I'm really going to try that.
Yo, we should.
When I get home today.
What are you going to get, though?
I don't know.
Maybe a couple sets of dumbbells or whatever.
Luckily, my gym's in my building, but they closed down.
So that's the other thing that happened.
They closed all the building gyms, right?
Yeah.
So it's like, I could just go downstairs and be like, yo, let me just get a couple sets of dumbbells, something.
I need something.
Can you get in there?
Have they locked it?
They locked it, but I mean, everything is electronic in my building, so they could just hit it.
I would do that, man.
I would ask for a, I'd ask for a treadmill or ask for some sort of cardio.
You don't love the cardio shit.
Not really, but I mean, if I had it in the apartment, I would fuck with it.
Yeah.
Because I used to run.
Yeah, no.
So it's an interesting thing, man.
I think, I don't know.
If you guys have any other corona hacks, tell us, man.
But we're just trying to do some things that guide you through this.
Another thing I was thinking is a lot of businesses are being destroyed by this, but what people don't realize, I think, as much or what's not given as much attention are the staff of those businesses, man.
The Illusion of Printing Money00:02:03
And certain countries are doing really interesting things.
Like the UK, I don't know if you guys read this, but the UK is going to pay 80% of the salary of people who are employed for the next three months.
Whoa.
And I think that's fucking awesome.
I don't know how the hell they're going to do it.
How the fuck are they going to do that?
Who knows?
Maybe they do the thing we were talking about last episode by selling the bonds, or maybe they're going to just start printing money.
That's another thing that people could do is just start printing money.
Obviously, you start printing money and money can lose value, right?
That's maybe a longer conversation.
But basically, the problem is, is sometimes you have too much money and not enough things to buy.
And when you have more money than you have things to buy, the money itself loses value.
And those things to buy gain value, right?
Because those are the real commodities.
But maybe we should have, you know, maybe an economist on to just explain exactly how made up the concept of money is, right?
It's really just this thing that doesn't really have any value, but we buy into the value of it.
You know, we decide that it is worth something, right?
It's like Ariana Grande.
Where are you going with this?
Okay.
She's probably talented.
I don't know.
I'm just trying to think of like a Disney star that we've just been told is the next hot thing.
So we're like, okay, I guess you're the thing.
But in reality, they're just not.
This used to happen a lot more before the internet and we had like freedom to decide who the stars were.
But there were times where like, you know, Holly would just go, here's your next action star.
And we'd be like, okay, Channing Tatum, you know?
And then now maybe there's a little bit more, you know, freedom of the market and we get to decide who has a career, who doesn't should.
You guys decided that I should have one.
So, you know, I'm grateful for that.
But yeah, man, it's just a weird time.
You know, I know a lot of people are anxious.
Matter of fact, I'm curious.
Predicting Chaos in Wuhan00:03:05
And Alex, maybe we should ask people at home, like, I'm curious what you guys want to know about, what your anxieties are, what things that you want more clarity on.
And then we could guide you through that.
So if there's something that you're curious about, man, there's something that you don't fully understand, and it could literally be the coronavirus itself.
If there's just something out there that you need some clarity on, let us know, send us, you know, write in the YouTube comments or send us a DM or something like that, and then we'll try to address some of those things.
I just like this kind of conversation.
You know, it gives some structure to our day.
We're grateful to do it and also get some feelings off our chest.
I mean, you're just sitting in your fucking apartment all day and you just want to have a conversation or you just want to feel like understood, I assume.
You know, and then hopefully we can provide that for you.
You know, I saw a wild thing today, man.
I need my phone in order to do it.
You think you could throw me my phone out?
But you know how, yeah, I got this.
Boom.
You know how the, you know how like they always say, oh, the Simpsons, you know, Simpsons out there predicting the future or something.
Right?
Yeah.
So do you remember the writer Dean Kuntz?
Sounds familiar, but I don't know what he wrote.
Does it sound familiar because the word Kuhn?
So Dean Koontz wrote this New York Times best-selling book.
He's one of these like thriller writers.
He'd write tons of these books.
And in 1981, The Eyes of Darkness.
Now, I got sent this on Twitter.
It could be complete bullshit.
We'll look it up after the show.
I'm assuming someone wouldn't want to misrepresent this.
But in one of the pages of this book, and you guys can look it up.
Oh, this is like where he basically predicts what's going on now through calls a year and everything like that.
You ready?
This is in the book.
In around 2020, a severe pneumonia-like illness will spread through the globe, attacking the lungs and bronchial tubes and resisting all known treatments.
Almost more baffling than the illness itself will be the fact that it will suddenly vanish as quick as it arrived, attack again 10 years later, and then disappear completely.
Li Chen defected to the United States carrying a diskette record of China's most important dangerous new biological weapons of the decade.
They call this stuff Wuhan 400 because it was developed at their R DNA labs outside the city of Wuhan.
And it was the 400th viable strain of man-made microorganisms created at that research center.
Wuhan 400 is a perfect weapon.
It afflicts only human beings.
No other living creature can carry it.
And like syphilis, Wuhan can't survive outside a living human.
Now, a couple things here are interesting.
Destroying Human Beings Organically00:09:49
One, the idea of someone predicting it.
Like you always say, yo, what do the Simpsons say about the coronavirus?
How are we going to handle it?
Because the Simpsons have predicted, I guess, so much.
I don't think The Simpsons are predicting so much, but I think they just had so many fucking episodes that eventually you start to hit on some shit.
Yeah, exactly.
Right?
Like, they've been doing the show for what, 20 years, five days a week?
The clock is twice at least 2000 days.
Yeah, Brooklog is right.
Exactly.
So, what's crazy is that there are enough of you nerds out there that remember every single fucking Simpsons episode that you can dial back and find the exact time that they predicted something that happened 15 years later.
That's that's impressive.
But something very interesting about this came up, and I've been thinking about this a lot with coronavirus.
I'm curious on your take on this, Al, too.
It's like what has happened right now?
Industry has stopped, right?
Human beings have gone inside, and we're no longer operating in the world as we usually do.
Now, what is the biggest criticism of human beings when we're in the world?
Selfish, we're destroying.
Oh, yeah, destroying the world, all right, right for the last couple weeks.
We haven't been able to destroy the world at the pace we usually destroy it.
Okay, haven't been able to chop down the trees in the Amazon, haven't been able to, you know, pollute the waters, pollute the skies.
You know, maybe this isn't a man-made virus, right?
But let's assume we're in a simulation.
You guys have heard of this simulation theory probably before.
If you haven't, some people say that, you know, we could be essentially a video game.
You know, how you play, you know, Call of Duty or you play these other games, right, where you're interacting with different people.
Well, maybe a really sophisticated, you know, alien life form has created us as a video game.
So we're a kind of simulation where we have the ability to do these things, but every once in a while, they step in and they shake shit up to make sure everything either progresses or moves to a different level at their will, right?
Maybe they came down and gave us electricity.
Maybe they came down and gave us the wheel.
Maybe they came down and were like, yo, rub these sticks together.
Boom, fire.
Who knows?
Again, who knows?
It doesn't matter.
Like, it could be complete bullshit.
But you cannot deny that the biggest criticism of humanity has been the way that we've been treating the environment.
And in the last couple of weeks, the environment has got to take a nice, needed breath.
Like, you see these pictures of Venice, Italy, I'm sure.
Yeah.
And Al told me, because you've been to Venice before, right?
Yeah, yeah.
And the last time you were in Venice, the canals were just filthy.
Yeah, filthy and it smelled.
And smelled like shit.
And if you go right now, you can Google images of Venice, the water's clear again.
Not even a week of having Italians be quarantined.
Not even a week of tourists not to be there, maybe two weeks.
And the water's crystal clear.
It really puts shit in perspective.
And what if this was the simulators basically going, yo, these motherfuckers will not stop.
We keep reminding them.
We keep putting information out where they're destroying the fucking world.
Maybe we have to do something.
Maybe we have to insert something in the system that forces them into their homes so we could let the earth regenerate a little bit.
That's number one.
Two, it shows you how fast the earth regenerates.
And I'm thinking, yo, maybe, just maybe, we got to take a month off every year.
Maybe the Muslims are right.
Maybe we need a Ramadan, bro.
Like, maybe the world just needs to, maybe human beings need to chill for one month a year.
And that one month of chill, maybe that would let Mother Nature regenerate enough.
Maybe not everything, but regenerate enough of the things that we're destroying.
What if we really took a month off?
We worked hard 11 months, got everything out, did everything we needed to do, and then one month we fucking quarantined.
And by quarantine, I don't mean stay in your home, but I mean stay off of work.
We shut everything down for a month.
Some countries got it down.
Like I know Spain, they kind of do that, I believe, either July or August.
August, I think it's August.
And basically everything is just like shut it down.
You can try to go to a restaurant and be like, ah, we might open today.
We're good.
It's the mom and pop shit.
It's the mom-and-pop shit, we're good.
I think Nate Bargazzi had a joke where, like, mom-and-pop shops, you guys, sometimes they'll be closed.
He'd be like, why?
We're sleepy.
We're sad.
But yeah, maybe there's something to that, man.
Maybe things happen organically and maybe things.
And look, I know a lot of you are watching this.
You're like, what about child cancer?
What about these?
Look, I don't have all the answers.
I understand that seems incredibly disrespectful or unempathetic to take that approach to it.
But at the same time, you can't deny that this has created a sort of refresher for the environment, at least in some places.
Like, I bet you go to China, right?
All these motherfuckers is complete smog everywhere from all the pollution.
I bet you they're looking up at the sky.
They're like, that sky is blue.
You know what I mean?
I bet you you see a decrease in smog.
I bet you see a decrease in pollution, all these things.
And maybe that's something we could take away from this.
And not just the earth, even humans.
So many people, all the messages I'm getting, like, yo, all these things I've been wanting to do, and now I have the opportunity to do it.
It's like, you're going to, this is like a reset for everybody, pretty much.
You want to see the people who really want it, people going after it, the thing you wanted to learn all this time.
It is.
It's like a reset on life.
It's a reset on life, man.
Because you know what we do so much is like we're trying to play catch up.
And it seems like our whole life is trying to play catch-up.
Like, oh, we got to get this shit done.
We got to get it done.
And the reality is, is that we don't shit can stop for a little bit.
We can smell the roses or whatever that term is, you know?
And maybe that's the reminder.
Maybe we got to sit down and like be like, oh man, you know what?
I actually really do like hanging out with my girl.
Or actually, I really do like spending time with my son.
Or actually, I really didn't know these amazing things about my daughter because I was so busy working, right?
It's like we're constantly running on that treadmill.
And then we just turn the treadmill off and we realize, holy shit, I was missing a lot.
You know?
And it's like when you're, it's like, you ever been on a bike ride and you're just looking straightforward, right?
And then you take a second to kind of like stop and you look to the sides.
You're like, whoa, that's a view.
Every time I go over this bridge, I look to the side and I see like amazing Manhattan.
You see Brooklyn Queens.
You're like, oh my God, I would have missed that if I was just running straight.
So maybe that's what this is.
Maybe that's a takeaway.
And I'm not saying some divine power put it there, but without a doubt, without a doubt, regardless of how bad the situation is, there's going to be some positive that we've taken from it.
And maybe we rekindle our creative spirit.
Like maybe you grinded so hard at your work, it's your job that fucking sucks.
You forgot you were creative and now you're in the house making TikToks and you're like, oh shit, I'm dope.
I forgot how dope I am when I have a couple minutes to fucking to reconnect with that creative part of my body.
Who knows?
Maybe we'll find out on another episode.
But yo, send us the things that you're curious about.
Send us some thoughts that you had about this, man.
You know, anything that you need some sort of guidance through, we want to be there for you guys with that.
You know, I was thinking before we wrap this up is I was thinking maybe we could do something for the staff of some of these comedy clubs.
I don't know how we're going to do it, man, but we've been doing really well with these videos, man.
We've been getting over 100,000 people watching these things, not to mention the people listening at home and audio.
So it was like, I was like, what can we fucking do?
And maybe we can do some sort of GoFundMe.
And maybe we could choose one business a week, you know, or one business, who knows, a month, who knows what it is.
And we can choose one kind of, we could like pay their staff, right?
Just give them a nice little cushion because they're not working anytime.
Like, maybe this is our way to give back, our way to support these places that have been really amazing for me and, you know, let me, you know, grow and seeing my material, you know, go from just horribly offensive ideas into like crafted, you know, jokes and pieces of like art.
At least I like to look at it like that.
So maybe we can do that.
I want to extend that to you guys and think about, you know, if you would support that and what that would look like.
And what do you think about that, Al?
I like it.
But let's also, I think every week hit a different industry because like shout out to firefighters and EMT workers.
Like they're still have to show up.
Like they can't stay home.
And every time you call 911, they have to show up at your house.
100%, man.
Like they're on the front line.
100%.
No, no, you're 100% right, man.
And it's one of those things where it's like that it's sometimes there's so many people to help, it becomes overwhelming and you don't help anyone.
Yeah.
You ever have like so many things to do that you just take a nap instead?
Right?
It just becomes overwhelming.
So maybe what we got to do is direct our response to specific groups and go, we're not saying these groups are more important than any other, but if we don't start somewhere, how are we going to end up helping anybody?
We can end up helping no one.
And I extend that to you guys because I'm sure that you're thoughtful and you've been thinking about ways to help as well.
And maybe we could do that.
I mean, I would love to help each club that has helped me develop this career.