Flagrant - Andrew Schulz & Akaash Singh - Bombs Away Aired: 2020-02-21 Duration: 08:23 === Retail Therapy Gone Wrong (07:39) === [00:00:07] So I bought my girl a bag yesterday. [00:00:09] That's how she felt. [00:00:14] Really? [00:00:21] That's funny. [00:00:22] I'm so glad you touched this until retail therapy, if you will. [00:00:26] That's funny. [00:00:28] What kind of bag? [00:00:29] I know all about the bags now. [00:00:30] I don't know what that is. [00:00:31] What kind of bag? [00:00:31] I don't want to get into it. [00:00:32] I don't want to. [00:00:33] They didn't have it in stock, and I thought I was out. [00:00:35] I was so upset. [00:00:36] I thought I was out clean. [00:00:37] I was so upset when I walk in the store. [00:00:39] You think not in stock is a problem? [00:00:41] You know how I. I'm thinking it's Foot Locker. [00:00:43] You know, if they don't got 11, you don't get it, right? [00:00:45] Well, even Foot Locker would search the whole fucking country. [00:00:47] Son. [00:00:48] You don't think Gucci is going to search? [00:00:49] Son, I wasn't in Gucci. [00:00:50] It was YSL. [00:00:51] Oh, shit. [00:00:52] Yo, I caught my girl at YSL this weekend. [00:00:54] That's all I'm talking about. [00:00:55] Weekend. [00:00:57] We out here Maggotting. [00:00:58] Maggot's life. [00:01:00] So I'm in there. [00:01:01] Mag life? [00:01:02] Mag life? [00:01:03] It's not MAGA? [00:01:04] That's MAGA. [00:01:05] So I'm in there. [00:01:06] I go into, I walk into the store tight. [00:01:11] And I walk in this door. [00:01:12] They know I'm not supposed to be in the store. [00:01:14] I'm dressed all stupid. [00:01:15] Right? [00:01:16] Like, and I walk in and the lady goes, can I help you with something? [00:01:19] And I just look her in the face and go, I'm just here to pay. [00:01:23] Right? [00:01:24] I go, I go, where's the place where we could sit? [00:01:27] And then she gives me that, do you want me some, she goes, do you want some water or something like that? [00:01:30] I'm like, all right, finally, I get some water. [00:01:31] I'm just chilling in there, probably texting you guys or something like that. [00:01:34] My girl comes through. [00:01:37] She picks out the bat. [00:01:40] She calls me monkey. [00:01:41] It's really funny because I have big ears. [00:01:44] But it's funny when it's just between us. [00:01:45] When it's like in the whole store. [00:01:47] And she's like, monkey. [00:01:50] And then you come running. [00:01:55] Pay for bag? [00:01:58] Right? [00:01:59] So I'm fucking, you know, she gets a thing. [00:02:02] She doesn't have it. [00:02:03] They want a different one. [00:02:04] She's, oh, well, you know, okay, well, maybe we'll get it another time. [00:02:07] And then this fucking bitch. [00:02:11] This fucking, this fucking bitch. [00:02:16] Right? [00:02:18] No, I got a girlfriend, y'all. [00:02:19] I'm crazy. [00:02:20] I'm not talking about a girl. [00:02:21] You think I want to buy another bag this week? [00:02:23] How many bags, son? [00:02:24] I'm not the salesperson. [00:02:25] Not the sales bitch. [00:02:29] Okay? [00:02:30] This sales bitch want to hit us with, well, we can order it. [00:02:33] We can have it to you by tomorrow morning. [00:02:35] Tomorrow morning, son, they don't fuck around, yo. [00:02:38] That's today morning? [00:02:39] That's today morning. [00:02:41] Yo, she already got the bag, yo. [00:02:42] Already got the bag. [00:02:44] So I got to pay for this fucking bag. [00:02:46] And I'm in a bad mood, so I couldn't milk all the fucking affection out of her for it. [00:02:50] Because you paid for the bag? [00:02:51] No, because I was like in a mood and I had like other shit to do. [00:02:54] I had like videos to look over. [00:02:55] Why are you standing? [00:02:57] Oh, turn on the light? [00:02:58] Yeah. [00:02:58] Oh, okay. [00:02:59] Thank you for waiting for that, but come on. [00:03:00] Come on, turn on the light. [00:03:02] That's okay. [00:03:10] Or whatever that sound is. [00:03:11] I can't make that sound. [00:03:15] How do they make that sound, bro? [00:03:18] Hold on. [00:03:21] My edible noises, man. [00:03:24] This guy always be killing it. [00:03:25] Anytime we got a challenge, it's like singing. [00:03:29] It's so annoying. [00:03:29] What the fuck, bro? [00:03:31] You been paying for shit? [00:03:34] No, but I needed you yesterday. [00:03:36] The funny thing is that you got. [00:03:38] I'm getting better every day. [00:03:41] You got you got, like, that's when you know you're making money because the way I deal with my shorties mana just is like whoops. [00:03:50] Yeah, yeah. [00:03:55] So I'm not gonna lie, I used to whoops, right? [00:03:58] Just the whoops. [00:03:59] But and then they're angry for like a certain amount of time, and then eventually they get over it. [00:04:04] But purchasing things speeds up that I understand. [00:04:09] It's Amazon Prime for moods. [00:04:11] For moods. [00:04:14] I pay this membership. [00:04:16] I'll deal with this. [00:04:17] That is exactly what it is. [00:04:20] And all due respect to with all due respect to my girl, she actually took it well. [00:04:24] She thought it was funny. [00:04:25] She thought it was funny. [00:04:26] She said she was laughing. [00:04:27] I don't know. [00:04:27] So then, why'd you need to get the bag? [00:04:29] Say what? [00:04:29] Why'd you need to get the bag? [00:04:30] I said, pretty well. [00:04:31] I said she's a pretty well. [00:04:37] Nah, nah. [00:04:38] It was for her birthday. [00:04:39] You know, it was her birthday. [00:04:39] We were in Mexico. [00:04:40] Happy birthday. [00:04:42] My sucker ass. [00:04:43] I said, your birthday present. [00:04:45] I'm such a hoe. [00:04:46] You are, son. [00:04:47] Son, I realized how parents work. [00:04:49] Like, I used to manipulate my parents. [00:04:51] You know, like when Christmas is coming up, you know, and before Christmas, you go, well, why don't we just get it for me now? [00:04:58] And then we get it now. [00:04:59] And then your parents are not going to let you have nothing under the tree for Christmas. [00:05:02] Exactly. [00:05:03] So that's what I did for the Valentine's. [00:05:04] I was like, all right, boom, Valentine's, Mexico. [00:05:07] That is your present. [00:05:07] We're going to Mexico. [00:05:08] That's the gift. [00:05:10] And now I'm looking at my presentless girlfriend. [00:05:12] Yo, but you went bag, dog. [00:05:14] You went bag, yo. [00:05:17] I like spoiling her, bro. [00:05:18] You don't buy me nothing. [00:05:19] Look at how I dress. [00:05:20] Do you know what I mean? [00:05:21] But Christmas, she got you with the same shit, too. [00:05:24] I know, bro. [00:05:27] So I get my save. [00:05:29] Egypt was the gift. [00:05:30] And it's like, yeah, but what am I unwrapping in Egypt? [00:05:34] Like, you're right. [00:05:35] She's good. [00:05:35] That's how I got got present. [00:05:36] I'm the opposite of his girl. [00:05:38] So you ain't getting no gifts. [00:05:39] Shut up. [00:05:42] He tried to get on that. [00:05:43] He's like, yeah, that got me too, right? [00:05:45] By the way, I got got. [00:05:46] I got her something, but it wasn't on the day. [00:05:48] By the way, I can say whatever I want about Akasha's girl now because I got my invitation to the wedding. [00:05:57] If y'all can see on the video, she wrote it out herself. [00:06:00] I ain't getting no invite. [00:06:01] Son, can you please shut up right now before? [00:06:09] You know what I'm saying? [00:06:10] Cause y'all act like I wouldn't make sure that Eden even got a fucking wrote on your fucking. [00:06:19] Oh, dude. [00:06:20] Eden took the picture, son. [00:06:21] Eden almost took out all the cameras when he leaned over to get that shit. [00:06:24] Do you see him about to make a diving catch and take out the entire shit? [00:06:27] Shut up his own wingspan. [00:06:32] Fuck y'all. [00:06:35] Son, he went to fly and shit. [00:06:38] He realized it was a fucking turkey. [00:06:41] Oh, I hit it. [00:06:42] Yeah, that was hot. [00:06:45] You got to hit that Shakira. [00:06:48] All right, boom. [00:06:49] So let me check out this thing. [00:06:50] Is this a MAGA net? [00:06:51] Yeah. [00:06:52] That's a MAGA net. [00:06:55] That knit at the end of that? [00:06:56] That's cool. [00:06:57] It's a little risky. [00:06:58] It's a real risky, right there. [00:07:00] Son, why don't they make MAGA nets? [00:07:03] Why don't they? [00:07:04] Like Trump 2020 MAGA nets. [00:07:06] Like a sweater? [00:07:08] No, MAGA. [00:07:08] Like a MAGA. [00:07:09] Oh, that's hot. [00:07:10] Son, I'd be having ideas. [00:07:12] Look at you marketing for the other side. [00:07:16] Why'd you go out with some MAGA nets on your shit? [00:07:18] Watch Trump make bags illegal. [00:07:20] I'm going to vote for his ass. [00:07:22] If Trump makes buying bags illegal, he's going to get my vote, dog. [00:07:26] Let me tell you something. [00:07:27] No, don't. [00:07:28] Because then what are you going to do when you fuck up? [00:07:30] Word. [00:07:30] Learn to deal with it. [00:07:31] No, Literally never. [00:07:34] Literally never. [00:07:35] You got to save your fuck-ups for like Thursday because then you hit the road Friday and those three days go by. [00:07:42] Son, that's what you got to do. [00:07:44] That's girlfriend bookings. === Voting For Trump's Bag Ban (00:37) === [00:07:46] What? [00:07:46] You know the bookings? [00:07:48] When you get arrested on a Friday, you got to be in jail the whole weekend. [00:07:51] Boom. [00:07:51] Right? [00:07:52] But now you just got to deal with your own feelings for the whole weekend. [00:07:54] Yeah, it's like, I'm going to. [00:07:56] I'm going to text you while you're in Pittsburgh. [00:07:58] Oh well. [00:08:03] What will I ever do? [00:08:09] Yo, what's up? [00:08:10] This is Akash. [00:08:11] That was a preview of our Patreon episode. [00:08:13] If you want the full thing, go to www.patreon.com slash flagrantrue. [00:08:18] Join the illest community on earth unless you're a social justice warrior. [00:08:22] Then you're just going to ruin the fun.