Flagrant - Andrew Schulz & Akaash Singh - Schulz's Wifey Catches Corona
Aired: 2020-02-18
Duration: 02:07:35


=== Voice Note Prank Gone Wrong (04:44) ===

[00:00:04]  Oh, did you guys hear that tweet I sent you guys, that voice note?
[00:00:08]  I trouble in the prank.
[00:00:09]  This girl says to her dad, Dad, I killed my boyfriend.
[00:00:12]  Dad, where are you?
[00:00:13]  Dad, why aren't you responding?
[00:00:14]  And then the dad sends a full voice note.
[00:00:16]  Yo, hey, it's me.
[00:00:17]  Everybody's okay.
[00:00:18]  Wipe the prince off the car.
[00:00:20]  Leave them up.
[00:00:21]  He got what he deserved.
[00:00:22]  He's going to think twice now and his mother.
[00:00:24]  Exact dad.
[00:00:25]  But that's an interesting thing.
[00:00:26]  Are we recording?
[00:00:28]  All right, good.
[00:00:28]  Because this is important.
[00:00:30]  So, wait, I'm pretty sure she's pranking.
[00:00:33]  Like, she's pranking her dad.
[00:00:37]  I'm 95%, 99.9% sure.
[00:00:39]  A girl's pranking her dad.
[00:00:40]  Yeah, dad, I killed my boyfriend.
[00:00:41]  Help me.
[00:00:42]  Okay.
[00:00:42]  And then he doesn't respond for a bit.
[00:00:44]  And then she's like, Dad, I killed him.
[00:00:47]  And then he's like, who?
[00:00:48]  And she's like, my boyfriend.
[00:00:49]  And then he just sends a voice note.
[00:00:51]  Don't worry, baby.
[00:00:52]  Everything is all right.
[00:00:53]  You're going to be okay.
[00:00:54]  Just, hey, just wipe the prince off the car.
[00:00:56]  Daddy's coming.
[00:00:57]  Let me know where you are.
[00:00:58]  We can take care of it.
[00:00:59]  And hey, basically, you didn't do anything wrong.
[00:01:02]  This guy had it coming.
[00:01:03]  Now, hey, good for you for not letting him disrespect you.
[00:01:06]  He could think twice about it in the next life or some shit like that.
[00:01:09]  That was a funny part.
[00:01:11]  That's the funniest part.
[00:01:11]  In the next life, it becomes.
[00:01:13]  Is he one of y'all?
[00:01:14]  No.
[00:01:14]  He's not.
[00:01:14]  He's a black dude.
[00:01:15]  He's like, if he comes back like a progressive black dude.
[00:01:18]  He comes back like a frog.
[00:01:19]  A lot of yoga class.
[00:01:20]  Yeah, he said he comes back.
[00:01:21]  He gave mad animals.
[00:01:22]  He's like, he'll come back like a frog.
[00:01:24]  He's like, he better treat that frog better.
[00:01:28]  Hold on.
[00:01:29]  Wait, wait, wait.
[00:01:30]  Play the audio.
[00:01:31]  I send it to the chain.
[00:01:33]  I'm confused.
[00:01:34]  So he believes in, what is it called?
[00:01:36]  Reincarnation.
[00:01:37]  I guess, man.
[00:01:37]  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
[00:01:39]  You can't believe in heaven or hell if you're down to be a murder accomplice.
[00:01:43]  That seals your fate pretty hard.
[00:01:45]  Okay, so let's think about this.
[00:01:46]  Your daughter hits you up and says she kills her boyfriend, right?
[00:01:50]  Your first thought.
[00:01:51]  I got to convert.
[00:01:52]  Is what?
[00:01:53]  I got to convert.
[00:01:54]  Convert to?
[00:01:55]  Hindu.
[00:01:56]  I can't believe in heaven or hell.
[00:01:57]  If my daughter just kills somebody, I can't just believe she's going to hell.
[00:02:00]  I got to switch shit up.
[00:02:01]  So you need to go somewhere with no...
[00:02:03]  I can't go heaven or hell religions.
[00:02:05]  That's why they went out the window.
[00:02:07]  That's what I think happened.
[00:02:08]  He immediately converted.
[00:02:09]  First thing he did.
[00:02:10]  Oh, very good.
[00:02:12]  So it's a minute.
[00:02:12]  We can cut this if we need to.
[00:02:17]  Yeah, don't turn yourself in.
[00:02:18]  Fuck that.
[00:02:19]  Just stay on the run.
[00:02:20]  I got somewhere to put you up at.
[00:02:22]  So just let me know where you at.
[00:02:25]  Drop his little call right there.
[00:02:27]  Wipe it down.
[00:02:28]  Get your fingerprints off the steering wheel, the dashboard, the handle, all that shit.
[00:02:33]  Just go and wipe down all that shit.
[00:02:36]  And don't touch nothing else.
[00:02:40]  And I'll be there to come pick you up.
[00:02:44]  And we'll take it from them.
[00:02:46]  I'll come get you, though.
[00:02:47]  All right, Paul.
[00:02:48]  He did.
[00:02:48]  He learned his lesson.
[00:02:50]  Okay.
[00:02:50]  She said also in the text, I'm just reading this.
[00:02:52]  He was cheating, so I stabbed him at the gas station.
[00:02:54]  Yeah.
[00:02:54]  Driving his car right now.
[00:02:55]  Okay, so he was cheating, so I stabbed him at the gas station.
[00:03:01]  Now we have the context of what's going on.
[00:03:03]  So let's say that there's a guy who is beating on your daughter.
[00:03:07]  Your daughter responds, kills him.
[00:03:09]  Yep.
[00:03:11]  Good for you.
[00:03:12]  Good for you.
[00:03:13]  Now, do you go to the authorities or you try to get her off?
[00:03:16]  That's a good question.
[00:03:18]  Because I don't know the actual.
[00:03:20]  I assume if you go to the authorities, you're still fucked up.
[00:03:22]  You're fucked.
[00:03:23]  You're still fucked.
[00:03:24]  You can't kill somebody.
[00:03:24]  But it's got to be worse trouble.
[00:03:26]  You got to look.
[00:03:27]  You can't run and then get caught and then say, oh, he was beating her.
[00:03:32]  Because then it just looks like, nah, you just killed this motherfucker and ran.
[00:03:35]  And maybe you could curry favor with a jury if, like, he was beating me.
[00:03:41]  You just heard Curry.
[00:03:43]  He just laughed.
[00:03:44]  You had to do it, bro.
[00:03:46]  So you try to try to slip it in there.
[00:03:49]  Bro, we get it.
[00:03:50]  This is your little reincarnation topic.
[00:03:52]  Yo, Akas be trying to slip a little bit.
[00:03:55]  Because what happens to all of us?
[00:03:58]  Y'all gotta figure it out!
[00:04:00]  You really sit in trying to do that shit, bro.
[00:04:03]  I was at the gas station, you know, we gave some chicken tea and massage.
[00:04:06]  You got the gas station with an accident!
[00:04:08]  The gas station!
[00:04:12]  Why do you think I sent you this story?
[00:04:15]  He went into the 7-Eleven, he grabbed his slurpee, and he goes, come out, and I find out he's cheating, I killed him.
[00:04:20]  What did he kill her with?
[00:04:22]  Cobra.
[00:04:26]  She killed him, whatever.
[00:04:28]  Okay, so go back.
[00:04:29]  So he's trying to curry favor or whatever.
[00:04:35]  He's just a curry flavor.
[00:04:36]  He's trying to biry on his favor with the jury.
[00:04:39]  You said curry flavor.
[00:04:40]  No, he's trying to soften your favorite.
[00:04:41]  You said flavor.
[00:04:43]  You said flavor, dog.
[00:04:44]  You said curry flavor.
[00:04:45]  You didn't hear what you said?
[00:04:46]  I got hungry.
[00:04:46]  Son, I did too.

=== Curry Flavor Confusion (15:35) ===

[00:04:49]  Listen, I get it.
[00:04:49]  He's trying to rote favor with the judges.
[00:04:52]  And when you said that shit, I was starving like most people in India.
[00:05:03]  Okay, so he's trying to...
[00:05:04]  I got a boss Monthly Rice with the jury.
[00:05:06]  If you have a shot at that, if you turn yourself in, you're like, yo, this gal's beating me.
[00:05:10]  But if you run, you look dumb guilty.
[00:05:12]  That's fair.
[00:05:13]  So you go in.
[00:05:15]  I mean, what are you going to do with your baby?
[00:05:16]  If you know your baby's guilty, you got to send her to Mexico.
[00:05:19]  Yo.
[00:05:20]  Shout out to Mexico, by the way.
[00:05:21]  I was just in Mexico.
[00:05:23]  So my girl got sick on the flight home.
[00:05:25]  Son, you're on the flight home.
[00:05:27]  Asshole, son.
[00:05:28]  You saw the picture?
[00:05:29]  Yeah.
[00:05:30]  So how you put her on Instagram.
[00:05:33]  Son, she was.
[00:05:36]  Listen, listen.
[00:05:37]  We're sitting down, right?
[00:05:38]  First of all, I thought she was just having period amnesia.
[00:05:41]  Like, you know how like every week, not every week, like every month, like your girl gets her period again and she's like, I think I'm sick or I have the flu.
[00:05:48]  It's like, did you forget how this feels?
[00:05:50]  Like every month it feels the same way.
[00:05:53]  We go through the same stupid conversation.
[00:05:55]  So I'm like rolling my eyes because she started her period.
[00:05:57]  I'm the one that be forgetting.
[00:05:59]  When my girl starts, when my girl has her period and she, I'm like, yo, why are you always fucking sick?
[00:06:02]  You got headaches.
[00:06:03]  What's going on?
[00:06:04]  And she's like, do you not get every four weeks this happens?
[00:06:07]  She's been on for four years.
[00:06:08]  And I'm like, word, you right.
[00:06:10]  So this is the first time I knew a period was coming beforehand.
[00:06:12]  Okay, okay.
[00:06:13]  So you, so your girl doesn't act surprised by it.
[00:06:15]  Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[00:06:16]  Okay, every girl I've ever been with acts surprised by their period.
[00:06:18]  Like she's, they start feeling sick.
[00:06:20]  Like, I think I ate something.
[00:06:21]  Well, we'll get there.
[00:06:22]  Nah, I get notified, so that way I can get my fucks in before.
[00:06:25]  Wait a minute, you have the app?
[00:06:27]  Yeah, fucking.
[00:06:27]  I track that shit.
[00:06:29]  I mean, a couple times I fucked up, but apparently, I've been tracking that shit.
[00:06:34]  Did you just track that because you wanted to have sex before period, or was it also scoop scoop prevention?
[00:06:40]  Both.
[00:06:40]  Preventative period.
[00:06:41]  You were trying to track her period before ovulation.
[00:06:43]  What's it called?
[00:06:44]  No, track her cycle.
[00:06:45]  Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[00:06:46]  Yeah, ovulation cycle.
[00:06:47]  Yeah, yeah, I do that.
[00:06:47]  So I try to get it in a couple times right before you know it's coming and then boom.
[00:06:50]  You know what's funny about that?
[00:06:52]  Is it doesn't stop when I fuck.
[00:06:55]  It just makes me more anxious when I fuck when I'm not supposed to.
[00:06:58]  You're crazy.
[00:07:00]  When you're tracking a period, 100%.
[00:07:01]  100%.
[00:07:02]  So instead of me going, I'm going to avoid those days, I just fuck those days, and then I go, oh, God.
[00:07:06]  Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[00:07:07]  That's all that happens.
[00:07:08]  Period is a very mixed blessing.
[00:07:10]  You got to deal with the period, but you got fucked your life.
[00:07:12]  You don't got to deal with not a period.
[00:07:13]  Yeah, that's a thing.
[00:07:15]  Bro, that's a real thing.
[00:07:17]  Their lives suck.
[00:07:18]  I thought about this.
[00:07:19]  Like, their lives suck because their reward for not being pregnant is feeling awful for a week.
[00:07:24]  And then all feminism is just understanding, yo, your life sucks, yo.
[00:07:28]  Dude, there's something to it.
[00:07:30]  You like the kids in Africa.
[00:07:31]  Like, I just got to acknowledge that this shit sucks for you, and it's pretty good for me.
[00:07:35]  Yeah, but you know how amazing it would be if you could just give your girl 10 cents a day to shut the fuck up and then all she has to do is just write a letter to you and fucking curse him.
[00:07:44]  Oh, son, these African kids are way more low-maintained.
[00:07:46]  How these Africans learn English?
[00:07:49]  Like, where are the priorities at?
[00:07:50]  You got an English teacher?
[00:07:51]  You got to feed that bitch.
[00:07:52]  Why don't you spread out some of that English teacher food to the rest of the community, right?
[00:07:57]  She's not writing you in the clicking.
[00:08:00]  I don't even know if you could click right.
[00:08:02]  Oh my god.
[00:08:03]  Can you click right?
[00:08:04]  What does click look like on paper?
[00:08:05]  You got a bird and a feather and a fucking palm tree.
[00:08:09]  What if you just fold the paper so it just ruffles and then that's your click?
[00:08:14]  Anyway, so she's on the flight.
[00:08:18]  We're coming back from Mexico.
[00:08:20]  Yeah.
[00:08:21]  And she's just going, oh, I think my period is coming this and that.
[00:08:24]  And I'm doing, you know, the boyfriend thing.
[00:08:26]  Like, oh my God, is there anything I could get you?
[00:08:27]  I'm on a window seat.
[00:08:28]  You know, I can't get you nothing.
[00:08:30]  Like, I'll be the most gracious and generous when I know I can't move and I got to inconvenience you and the next guy.
[00:08:35]  So can I get you water?
[00:08:37]  Like, what do you mean?
[00:08:37]  You got to make her do it once just so she knows.
[00:08:39]  Not even worth asking.
[00:08:40]  Exactly.
[00:08:40]  Let me, I insist.
[00:08:41]  I insist.
[00:08:42]  Can you?
[00:08:43]  Can I try to climb over her?
[00:08:44]  She's a dumb dumb sweet.
[00:08:46]  And she just got your balls in her face.
[00:08:48]  She's like, get the fuck out of here, yo.
[00:08:50]  That's how I do it with laundry.
[00:08:52]  Just shrink her whole shit once.
[00:08:54]  I'm never letting you do laundry again.
[00:08:56]  Brick Romano has a joke about that.
[00:08:59]  Years ago, he had the joke where he said something like that.
[00:09:01]  If your girl, your girl, your wife is going to make you run errands.
[00:09:03]  She's got to fuck it up so hard she never asks again.
[00:09:05]  And then be like, hey, baby, the grocery store is out of watermelon.
[00:09:08]  So I got you a hammer.
[00:09:12]  I'd low-key think that was what my dad did.
[00:09:14]  And I think like my dad, my entire life, he would go, I forgot that you told me that.
[00:09:18]  Like he would literally just tell my mom he forgot that she said that.
[00:09:22]  And I think that he gave himself Alzheimer's because now he literally can't remember anything.
[00:09:28]  Like he physically cannot make new memories.
[00:09:30]  And I think he just kept doing it until like God was like, oh, if that's what you want.
[00:09:34]  And he has never been happier.
[00:09:35]  Yo, I'm, yo, yo.
[00:09:37]  Never been happier in their relationship.
[00:09:39]  So happy.
[00:09:40]  Yeah, she's miserable.
[00:09:41]  She's miserable.
[00:09:42]  Yeah.
[00:09:43]  I got a joke that Ambie dudes with Alzheimer's.
[00:09:45]  Why?
[00:09:46]  And I say it's not our, the brain just, I say, you know what it's like?
[00:09:49]  It's like I forget stuff now all the time.
[00:09:51]  And it's like, you know, the scene on a movie where like a ship is sinking, it's filling up with water?
[00:09:55]  Yeah.
[00:09:56]  The brain is like my memory, or the ship is like my memory, and the water is her shitty stories.
[00:10:00]  And I'm just there with a bucket just trying to throw all the old memories out overboard.
[00:10:04]  And then I realize, you got Alzheimer's.
[00:10:06]  Your brain just, it just found a hack.
[00:10:07]  Have you?
[00:10:08]  I just quit.
[00:10:09]  We're good.
[00:10:09]  Has your girl ever told a good story?
[00:10:13]  She told me one that, yo, I laughed very inappropriately.
[00:10:17]  I don't know if she thought it was as funny as I thought it was.
[00:10:20]  Yeah.
[00:10:21]  But man, I laugh so hard at that shit.
[00:10:23]  Can you say it or no?
[00:10:24]  Nah.
[00:10:25]  It's not her story.
[00:10:27]  And then her friend might get upset or whatever.
[00:10:29]  Does her friend listen to this?
[00:10:30]  You never know how this shit gets back because her friends, some of her friends listen.
[00:10:34]  My girl be putting people on the podcast.
[00:10:35]  I got to give her a shot.
[00:10:36]  She's just trying to do that to curry favor to you, bro.
[00:10:39]  I'm still on her.
[00:10:41]  She doesn't think I'm a solid a lot of favor with your boy.
[00:10:43]  She completely might have, bro.
[00:10:44]  She sent a text.
[00:10:45]  I don't know if I sent it to you or what.
[00:10:47]  One of her coworkers.
[00:10:48]  We need to play it because one of her coworkers trying not to laugh while listening to the podcast at work.
[00:10:52]  I don't want to play that.
[00:10:53]  I don't know.
[00:10:53]  I got to find the, I'll find the video.
[00:10:55]  All right, back to my girl getting sick.
[00:10:56]  Yeah.
[00:10:56]  Right?
[00:10:57]  So she starts to get sick, right?
[00:10:58]  And she goes, now I'm thinking she's putting it on, like she puts on every month when she gets her period, right?
[00:11:03]  So she goes, she goes like this, right?
[00:11:05]  She goes, she goes, believe anybody going through anything?
[00:11:10]  No.
[00:11:11]  I don't believe any struggle.
[00:11:12]  I don't believe any struggle.
[00:11:13]  Dude, I saw the movie Parasite.
[00:11:15]  You see the movie Parasite the whole time?
[00:11:16]  Like, these fucking poor people deserve it.
[00:11:19]  They deserve every ounce of their poverty.
[00:11:22]  My flagrant thought is about parasites.
[00:11:23]  We'll discuss flagrant paragraphs.
[00:11:24]  Flagrant thoughts.
[00:11:24]  We'll discuss parasite.
[00:11:26]  Okay.
[00:11:27]  Now, where were we?
[00:11:28]  Girl.
[00:11:29]  Yeah.
[00:11:29]  So she goes like this.
[00:11:31]  Oh my God.
[00:11:32]  Do we have a bag?
[00:11:33]  Do we have a bag?
[00:11:34]  I think I might throw up.
[00:11:35]  Right?
[00:11:36]  So I go, you ain't throwing up.
[00:11:39]  We go through this all the time.
[00:11:41]  I've never seen you throw up, not one time.
[00:11:43]  So I go like this.
[00:11:44]  Here's a bag right here.
[00:11:45]  And it's this big paper bag.
[00:11:46]  We got it like the Hudson News, you know, the equivalent of Hudson News, right?
[00:11:50]  So I'm like, you're fine.
[00:11:51]  Don't worry, blah, blah, blah.
[00:11:52]  And I like overcorrect with how nice I'm being.
[00:11:54]  Like I'm saying obvious shit.
[00:11:55]  I'm like, do you want me to take your purse out of it?
[00:11:58]  Like, obviously, take the purse out, but I'm trying to be helpful with doing the least amount of shit.
[00:12:03]  Like, you ever, you ever do that?
[00:12:07]  I want to be as helpful as I can with doing the least, right?
[00:12:10]  You got to feel like you care, but you can't help.
[00:12:12]  So, if I say you got to say obvious shit, that's it.
[00:12:14]  If I take the purse out without asking you, I don't get credit.
[00:12:16]  Yeah.
[00:12:17]  But if I ask you and then I do it, I do not get credit when I talk the purse out.
[00:12:21]  They don't feel good.
[00:12:21]  They don't feel good.
[00:12:22]  They don't feel it.
[00:12:23]  Yet they don't.
[00:12:24]  We do it for you.
[00:12:26]  Okay.
[00:12:28]  We do it for you.
[00:12:29]  Okay, babe.
[00:12:30]  So I take, I go, I got you personally like, yeah.
[00:12:32]  You want me to rub your back while you're throwing up?
[00:12:34]  Oh, I already exhausted a rubber in the back.
[00:12:39]  That was one of my lifelines.
[00:12:40]  I threw that shit out immediately because I was texting somebody.
[00:12:43]  I think I was actually texting Mark or something.
[00:12:45]  And I gave her a fake, Do you want me to rub your back?
[00:12:49]  Yeah, yeah.
[00:12:49]  I didn't think she was going to take me up on it.
[00:12:52]  Right?
[00:12:53]  Because she was feeling sick.
[00:12:54]  And I was like, what can I do?
[00:12:55]  It doesn't require much.
[00:12:56]  And then I was like, you want me to rub your back?
[00:12:58]  And she was like, oh, I would really love that.
[00:12:59]  Now I got a single thumb text, Mark.
[00:13:02]  Fucking 45 straight minutes.
[00:13:04]  This guy's sending me three text messages in a row.
[00:13:05]  I can only get back emojis, thumbs up, hearts.
[00:13:09]  I'm rubbing away.
[00:13:10]  First of all, I cannot text him, Rub.
[00:13:12]  That shit is like a shit.
[00:13:14]  First of all, why he said it hearts to Marks?
[00:13:17]  No, good ass question.
[00:13:19]  I love it.
[00:13:20]  The like, love, thumbs down.
[00:13:23]  Oh, no, that's a heartedness.
[00:13:24]  Yeah, I might have hearted, dog.
[00:13:26]  My bad, Mark.
[00:13:26]  Hey, no disrespect.
[00:13:27]  So no disrespect.
[00:13:31]  Yeah, yeah.
[00:13:32]  Sure as I was not sending hearts to my girl.
[00:13:33]  I'll tell you that.
[00:13:35]  So okay.
[00:13:37]  She starts to go, oh my God, I think I might throw up.
[00:13:39]  I literally roll my eyes.
[00:13:41]  I close my eyes.
[00:13:42]  I close my eyes so I can roll them as far back to the back of my head as I possibly can.
[00:13:47]  Okay.
[00:13:47]  Now I got punched once when I was younger in the eye socket, so this one doesn't roll as far back, right?
[00:13:52]  That's how far I rolled it back because I felt this one snag.
[00:13:55]  I hit the bottom of where it goes.
[00:13:58]  She just goes, oh, right?
[00:14:01]  Oh, shit.
[00:14:02]  And all I can think about is how piece of shit I am.
[00:14:04]  I'm like, I'm in the window.
[00:14:06]  I'm in the window.
[00:14:08]  There's nowhere for me to go.
[00:14:09]  Right?
[00:14:10]  I literally grabbed the paper bag, right?
[00:14:13]  She starts throwing up in this paperback.
[00:14:16]  I mean, heaving.
[00:14:18]  Full-on heaves in the paperback.
[00:14:20]  Yes.
[00:14:21]  Yes.
[00:14:22]  And you could tell that we're flying back from Mexico because nobody was phased.
[00:14:26]  Like the entire flight.
[00:14:28]  People didn't even look up.
[00:14:29]  The guy next to her didn't even fucking look up.
[00:14:30]  It was nothing.
[00:14:31]  Chunks into the back, right?
[00:14:32]  I'm holding the bag.
[00:14:34]  All of a sudden, what did I say the bag was made out of?
[00:14:37]  Paper.
[00:14:38]  Oh, fuck.
[00:14:41]  My hands getting hot and soggy.
[00:14:42]  Oh, why?
[00:14:43]  Why are your hands on the bottom?
[00:14:45]  Because I didn't want it to hit my jeans.
[00:14:47]  So I was angling to throw up towards her seat.
[00:14:50]  Right?
[00:14:51]  So I get.
[00:14:53]  You need a plastic bag condom to be in a piece of money.
[00:14:56]  No, dude.
[00:14:57]  But I didn't know what to do in that moment.
[00:14:58]  You didn't think she was going to throw up.
[00:14:59]  I didn't think she should throw up.
[00:15:00]  So she's throwing up.
[00:15:01]  I got to ask the guy next to her to move out the seat.
[00:15:03]  She's head in the fucking paper bag.
[00:15:05]  Like, you think he would move it so we can go.
[00:15:08]  Boom.
[00:15:08]  Go to the front of the, go to the front.
[00:15:11]  That guy was thinking about the littlest he could do.
[00:15:13]  It was like, oh, let me look away.
[00:15:15]  Did he get up or did he just move his legs off?
[00:15:19]  He's in the aisle.
[00:15:20]  I'll be doing that.
[00:15:21]  I'll be doing that.
[00:15:21]  Get up too.
[00:15:22]  The no get up, get up.
[00:15:23]  So we go to the first class bathroom, right?
[00:15:26]  We're not in first.
[00:15:27]  Okay.
[00:15:27]  But it was closest, right?
[00:15:29]  Right through the curtain first class.
[00:15:30]  She goes in there, right?
[00:15:32]  She goes into the bathroom, keeps throwing up.
[00:15:35]  Knocks, I knock on the door, right?
[00:15:37]  I'm like, you okay?
[00:15:38]  Is everything okay?
[00:15:41]  She says this.
[00:15:42]  Took me everything to not laugh.
[00:15:44]  She goes, and she's like in her little cry face.
[00:15:49]  She goes, it's coming at a both holes.
[00:16:05]  So I almost slammed the door closed so I can laugh, but it's a bathroom door.
[00:16:09]  They close from the inside.
[00:16:10]  You can't close it.
[00:16:11]  Right?
[00:16:12]  Bro, I was fucking, I didn't know what to do.
[00:16:15]  She's shitting and throwing up at the same time.
[00:16:20]  Where is she throwing up in the airport like sink?
[00:16:23]  In the bathroom on a plane.
[00:16:24]  Yeah, but you're shitting.
[00:16:25]  She shits and then turns around and then throws up.
[00:16:28]  Oh my God, this is disgusting.
[00:16:30]  This is disgusting, bro.
[00:16:31]  You're in the room and you're in the room, dog.
[00:16:33]  Yeah, for me.
[00:16:34]  Or you.
[00:16:35]  I got to sit there.
[00:16:36]  Having to hear that from the outside.
[00:16:37]  Hold it.
[00:16:38]  I said, babe, we're in first class actor.
[00:16:41]  You know what I mean?
[00:16:41]  These are rich people.
[00:16:42]  Wait, sorry, inside the bathroom at this point?
[00:16:44]  Not this point.
[00:16:45]  Okay.
[00:16:45]  Not this point.
[00:16:46]  She's still throwing up and doing all that shit.
[00:16:47]  Right?
[00:16:48]  Respect.
[00:16:49]  I'm outside.
[00:16:49]  I'm just holding it down.
[00:16:51]  She knocks on the door.
[00:16:52]  Holding it down.
[00:16:53]  You ain't doing nothing to me.
[00:16:55]  Hold on.
[00:16:57]  Holding it down.
[00:16:58]  I was holding it down.
[00:16:58]  I'm holding it down.
[00:17:00]  What if someone's trying to take the plane?
[00:17:04]  You know what I mean?
[00:17:04]  What if someone's trying to take the plane?
[00:17:06]  Take the plane through the bathroom?
[00:17:07]  Yeah, you still.
[00:17:08]  That's the bathroom right next to the first class.
[00:17:09]  I'm still protecting you because if you shitting and throwing up at the same time as someone hijacked the plane, you'd be like, crash this motherfucker.
[00:17:15]  Yo.
[00:17:15]  Go ahead, end it.
[00:17:16]  I don't care.
[00:17:17]  You're right.
[00:17:18]  Yo.
[00:17:18]  Like, literally, that's another thing.
[00:17:19]  She could have been crazy.
[00:17:21]  She could have tried to do something.
[00:17:22]  She could have tried to rush the cabin.
[00:17:24]  There's a lot of things that could have happened, right?
[00:17:25]  She's not thinking right.
[00:17:26]  She got her period.
[00:17:26]  She got her ABC stuff.
[00:17:28]  Bro, I don't know what's happening.
[00:17:29]  She opens the door, right?
[00:17:31]  Pants are down.
[00:17:32]  Some throw up on her fucking lips.
[00:17:33]  Right?
[00:17:34]  And she goes, she goes, babe.
[00:17:36]  She goes, she goes, babe.
[00:17:38]  I'm sorry.
[00:17:39]  No, no, it gets worse.
[00:17:41]  I'm sorry.
[00:17:42]  Yo, it gets worse.
[00:17:43]  She goes, she goes, she goes, babe.
[00:17:44]  She goes, I guess, she goes, yes, yes, yes, yes.
[00:17:48]  She goes, babe, I need a tampon.
[00:17:52]  I was loving about that.
[00:17:54]  All three holes, yo.
[00:17:56]  How much you putting me through?
[00:18:01]  I'm going up and down the aisles asking for tampaxes.
[00:18:05]  I'm going up and down the aisles.
[00:18:06]  She has got fucking tampaxes.
[00:18:08]  She didn't pack any in there.
[00:18:09]  Say what?
[00:18:09]  She didn't have any to carry on?
[00:18:11]  No.
[00:18:11]  She didn't pack any to carry.
[00:18:12]  So I'm asking a flight attendant.
[00:18:13]  So I was like, do you have any tampons?
[00:18:15]  They don't know what I'm saying.
[00:18:17]  And you know how weird it is to describe something in Spanish when you don't know the name for it?
[00:18:20]  And I was like, yasari, la cosa que que pones adentro del la vajina.
[00:18:25]  I'm using my fingers.
[00:18:27]  I'm just saying the thing that you put in your vagina.
[00:18:30]  So she had no fucking clue what's going on.
[00:18:32]  She knows she's sick, but I don't know if she's thinking my girl wants to use the tampon for the diarrhea.
[00:18:38]  I don't know what she's thinking, right?
[00:18:42]  So the girl, the flight attendant goes.
[00:18:45]  My girl don't notice, and thank God she don't notice.
[00:18:47]  She goes on a loudspeaker phone.
[00:18:49]  Oh my God, yo.
[00:18:51]  Oh my God.
[00:18:53]  Thank God my girl don't speak Spanish.
[00:18:59]  What is it?
[00:18:59]  Feminina.
[00:19:00]  Yeah, feminine.
[00:19:02]  Does anybody have any feminine products?
[00:19:04]  Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[00:19:04]  Give her the tampon.
[00:19:05]  Plug that hole.
[00:19:06]  Now we only got two holes left in a boat.
[00:19:12]  My girl opens the door.
[00:19:14]  I'm there for her, obviously.
[00:19:16]  And she looks at me.
[00:19:17]  She goes, I don't know what's going on.
[00:19:20]  I don't know what's happening right now.
[00:19:23]  She's like the walking dead, bro.
[00:19:26]  She's coming to zombies.
[00:19:28]  She goes, yeah, she goes, she goes, she goes, she goes, do I have corona?
[00:19:40]  So I said this.
[00:19:41]  I said, I'm like, look, the door is right here, right?
[00:19:45]  Imagine the microphone's the door, right?
[00:19:48]  Right?
[00:19:48]  I go like this.
[00:19:49]  She goes, do I have corona?
[00:19:51]  I go, baby, there is no question.
[00:19:54]  There's no chance that you have.
[00:19:55]  It's not even, there's no chance you have corona.
[00:19:59]  I'll be right back.
[00:20:00]  I closed the door on that corona-having-ass woman, bro.
[00:20:03]  I was 100% sure that she had Corona.
[00:20:06]  I close that door and I Google what the symptoms of Corona were.
[00:20:12]  What good is both of us having Corona gonna do?
[00:20:14]  Oh, my God.
[00:20:15]  Oh, yo.
[00:20:16]  Looked up.
[00:20:17]  Thank God.
[00:20:17]  Corona's respiratory.
[00:20:19]  Okay.
[00:20:20]  No Corona.
[00:20:23]  Finishes.

=== The Corona Bathroom Incident (04:07) ===

[00:20:24]  She gets kicked out of first-class bathroom, goes back to the back bathroom, stays there the entire flight, shuts down one bathroom for the entire flight.
[00:20:30]  Wow.
[00:20:33]  How long is that flight?
[00:20:33]  Four?
[00:20:34]  Five hours.
[00:20:35]  Oh, boy.
[00:20:37]  Where in the flight did it happen?
[00:20:39]  I would say 10 to 15 minutes into the day.
[00:20:42]  Get the fuck out.
[00:20:44]  You still lean back, take off?
[00:20:46]  I'm leaning back.
[00:20:47]  We're on the way up.
[00:20:48]  Yo.
[00:20:48]  Wait a minute.
[00:20:49]  So how long did you stay at the bathroom?
[00:20:52]  Well, that's a good question.
[00:20:54]  Yo, do you want to answer this?
[00:20:55]  No, I do.
[00:20:56]  No, I do.
[00:20:57]  I stay there for about five, ten minutes.
[00:21:00]  Which bathroom?
[00:21:01]  Which bathroom?
[00:21:02]  The one in the beginning?
[00:21:02]  I know at the beginning you were there the whole time, right?
[00:21:04]  I was there the whole time in the beginning.
[00:21:05]  And then when she went to Delhi.
[00:21:06]  I had to go pee.
[00:21:08]  So I left her to go pee and check on coronavirus symptoms.
[00:21:12]  And then when she went back to that one, I was like, listen, you and I can't.
[00:21:16]  She said, you and I can't sit in here.
[00:21:18]  It's too much.
[00:21:19]  Like, it's just too much.
[00:21:21]  So you can go back to the seat.
[00:21:22]  So I went back to the seat.
[00:21:24]  Bro, we got intimate this trip, man.
[00:21:26]  Like, I've caught her shitting for the first time.
[00:21:29]  You caught her shitting.
[00:21:30]  Bro.
[00:21:31]  You didn't catch her shit and you caught her shit.
[00:21:33]  No, this is in the hotel.
[00:21:34]  Oh.
[00:21:35]  Because the whole bathroom didn't have a door.
[00:21:37]  Only the toilet had a door.
[00:21:39]  Because usually she goes and showers and sneaks a shit in there, and I know what she's doing, but I have no proof.
[00:21:43]  And this one time she went to the bathroom, right?
[00:21:47]  And I knew that she went, she was in there for an extended period of time.
[00:21:49]  There's nothing else going on there.
[00:21:50]  And I went in there like a little fucking truffle pig right afterwards.
[00:21:53]  And I just sniffed up and I was like, you fucking shit, didn't you?
[00:21:57]  Little did I know.
[00:21:58]  That flight, I was going to get very close.
[00:22:00]  Yo.
[00:22:01]  You're disgusted.
[00:22:03]  I loved it.
[00:22:03]  Weirdly, I loved it.
[00:22:04]  Say what?
[00:22:06]  I fucking loved it.
[00:22:07]  Oh, my God.
[00:22:08]  What did it?
[00:22:08]  What did it?
[00:22:09]  What caused it?
[00:22:10]  Mexico.
[00:22:10]  Yeah.
[00:22:10]  Yeah.
[00:22:11]  I mean, like, any, did you know?
[00:22:12]  That happens.
[00:22:13]  Yeah, drink the water.
[00:22:14]  I don't know, man.
[00:22:15]  I don't know.
[00:22:16]  Because you good.
[00:22:17]  I'm good.
[00:22:18]  I mean, it felt amazing.
[00:22:19]  Son, this guy shits five times a day.
[00:22:21]  It's like he drinks Mexican water every day.
[00:22:24]  I always got bonuses in his event.
[00:22:27]  At any point in time.
[00:22:28]  Yeah, no, but it was sick.
[00:22:30]  Mexico was fucking sick.
[00:22:31]  Oh, my God.
[00:22:32]  That sounds horrible.
[00:22:33]  Y'all got to go to fucking.
[00:22:34]  She should have just worn a pamper.
[00:22:36]  That's what I recommended that.
[00:22:37]  Like, just get two pampers.
[00:22:39]  Yeah.
[00:22:39]  Strap them up.
[00:22:40]  Can I ask you a question?
[00:22:41]  Do you guys feel bad buying your girl tampons?
[00:22:43]  No, I don't.
[00:22:44]  Why does that have a stigma?
[00:22:46]  I mean, I don't ever do it.
[00:22:48]  But that has a stigma, right?
[00:22:49]  Like, you see it in movies or shows, right?
[00:22:51]  Like.
[00:22:52]  I don't.
[00:22:53]  I understand we're not like men.
[00:22:56]  Like, there were men back in the day.
[00:22:57]  And a lot of that shit, I'm like, oh, it's embarrassing that we can't fix anything on our own or whatever.
[00:23:00]  Yeah.
[00:23:01]  Buying tampons.
[00:23:01]  Who gives a fuck?
[00:23:02]  What kind is your girl like?
[00:23:05]  Bruh, I don't remember.
[00:23:06]  She'd be texting me a picture of it of the box, and then I just find the box and then.
[00:23:10]  Scented or unscented?
[00:23:12]  I don't know.
[00:23:14]  You don't know scented or unscented.
[00:23:16]  I would assume scented, knowing my girl.
[00:23:18]  She'd be liking scented things.
[00:23:20]  She's into the scents.
[00:23:21]  But sometimes that gives you a little yeaster.
[00:23:23]  Oh, okay.
[00:23:24]  Yeah, you can get that yeaster.
[00:23:25]  Okay.
[00:23:25]  I don't know.
[00:23:26]  Yeah, I've never bought tampons for any girl.
[00:23:29]  But would you not, based on your gender?
[00:23:31]  I just walked in the store when they were buying it.
[00:23:34]  And then I find her reason to separate.
[00:23:37]  But just because it's tampons?
[00:23:38]  Yeah, just like.
[00:23:39]  Son, you get more Puerto Rican every time I hear you talk about women.
[00:23:42]  No, not like separate a relationship.
[00:23:44]  Just like, oh, let me go look at the magazines and shit.
[00:23:51]  Wait, I missed it.
[00:23:51]  What happened?
[00:23:52]  He thought I meant you break up with them every time.
[00:23:58]  I mean, I broke it up for less.
[00:24:01]  That's what?
[00:24:01]  I said, I broke it up for less.
[00:24:03]  But no, no, no.
[00:24:04]  I'm just looking.
[00:24:05]  I'm not the least that you've broken up for.
[00:24:07]  If they just talk annoying or something like that, like annoying voice.
[00:24:11]  Son, I'm not going to lie.
[00:24:12]  I'll be dating some quiet women, bro.
[00:24:15]  I'll be dating the quietest woman.
[00:24:16]  The least you talk about.
[00:24:17]  That's why they don't know English.
[00:24:18]  Say what?
[00:24:19]  That's why they don't know English.
[00:24:20]  Oh, English gotta go.
[00:24:21]  English is not allowed.
[00:24:22]  English not allowed.
[00:24:23]  Son, if you're from America.
[00:24:30]  It's too much talking.

=== Dating Quiet Women (03:31) ===

[00:24:32]  No, we go, Africa.
[00:24:37]  We can take it there.
[00:24:40]  Straight from the motherland, baby.
[00:24:42]  Should we read this story from Jared?
[00:24:44]  So good.
[00:24:45]  Since we're talking about planes and girlfriends.
[00:24:46]  Wait, do you have a flagrant thought?
[00:24:47]  Because we usually start with some flagrant thoughts.
[00:24:49]  I do, but I thought this would be a good segue.
[00:24:51]  Go, Then we're going to get to some flagrant thoughts.
[00:24:53]  Because I have a question.
[00:24:54]  It's more of a flagrant question.
[00:24:56]  Do you guys, do you guys have the tweet up?
[00:24:59]  Or do I got to find it?
[00:25:00]  Yo, shout out to Jared Freed.
[00:25:02]  Jared Freed, comedian buddy of ours.
[00:25:04]  Jared Freed, F-R-E-I-D, I believe.
[00:25:06]  Jared Freed, very funny guy.
[00:25:07]  A quick story about why you should travel with your significant other.
[00:25:10]  So real quick, just to preface this, this is a series of pictures that he posted on Twitter.
[00:25:15]  And he's got text covering his face telling an entire story.
[00:25:17]  Yeah, he is traveling from Nashville to New York with his girlfriend.
[00:25:20]  Akash, take it away.
[00:25:22]  My girlfriend and I are flying back from Nashville to NYC.
[00:25:25]  We got to the gate and we find out that the flight has no crew and there will be some sort of delay.
[00:25:29]  Being the Diamond Medallion member that I am, I spring into action.
[00:25:32]  I call the special line and they say they can't do anything until the flight is posted as delayed.
[00:25:37]  I report that information to my girlfriend.
[00:25:38]  She barks, there's a 730 flight to JFK.
[00:25:42]  It doesn't look like she's going to handle this well.
[00:25:44]  She's already mentioned being tired 20, maybe 700 times.
[00:25:47]  Next picture.
[00:25:49]  I go to the gate and I say, hey, can you guys mark this as delayed so we can make changes on the app?
[00:25:53]  Nothing has happened yet.
[00:25:55]  I came back to my girlfriend who is basically a puddle of a person at this point.
[00:25:58]  They announced the flight is now delayed two hours.
[00:26:01]  I get back on the phone thinking, let's try and make something happen.
[00:26:04]  My girlfriend very helpfully uses my other ear to yell, there's two seats left.
[00:26:08]  I'll pay for it.
[00:26:09]  I don't care.
[00:26:10]  I'm on the phone with Delta.
[00:26:11]  The person is very helpful.
[00:26:13]  I look at my girlfriend who angrily says, the seats are gone.
[00:26:16]  It's now my fault that I took all of the appropriate measures and didn't pay an extra $550, plus the more expensive Uber from JFK instead of LaGuardia.
[00:26:24]  Understandable.
[00:26:24]  Next picture.
[00:26:26]  The guy at Delta says, hey, there are two seats I got you.
[00:26:28]  Sweet relief.
[00:26:29]  I feel my insides loosen up.
[00:26:32]  This is why I really related to it.
[00:26:34]  What could have been a two-hour delay with a small dictator is going to be about a half hour.
[00:26:39]  I decide to hold on to this positive information.
[00:26:41]  I shake my head at my girlfriend with disappointment, like it's not going to work out.
[00:26:45]  We're going to have to have to wait the extra hour and a half.
[00:26:47]  She reacts as expected, like I murdered her new puppy.
[00:26:50]  I get off the phone.
[00:26:51]  I say, look at the app.
[00:26:52]  We're all set.
[00:26:53]  She sees the change.
[00:26:54]  Her angrily squinted eyes release a bit and she half smiles.
[00:26:58]  We walk to the new gate.
[00:26:59]  We get in line to board.
[00:27:00]  She's a new person.
[00:27:02]  I can feel her energy is totally different.
[00:27:04]  She's yet to really say anything.
[00:27:06]  She knows she can't make a full emotional turnaround yet.
[00:27:08]  It would be an admission of guilt.
[00:27:09]  The bride doesn't stop her friends from calling her chill at the reception when she knows she screamed at her mob like a servant earlier in the day.
[00:27:16]  Again, completely relate.
[00:27:18]  Like most women, she's got to play the PR game.
[00:27:20]  She got to go into full crisis management mode.
[00:27:22]  She cannot lose her chill status.
[00:27:25]  She hugs me and sings, we did it.
[00:27:27]  No apologies.
[00:27:28]  I look at her with a half a smile, almost to say, yep, we did it.
[00:27:32]  We did it in the same way a fireman and the person he carried out of the building did it.
[00:27:39]  This really kills me.
[00:27:40]  She says, ugh, phew.
[00:27:43]  Could have been a day.
[00:27:44]  She is not a great actress, but she's trying.
[00:27:46]  Oh, this is her Asuka's performance.
[00:27:48]  I hug her.
[00:27:48]  There is nothing to say.
[00:27:50]  I know, she knows.
[00:27:51]  Nobody is chill.
[00:27:52]  Today's the day I met the real Jess.
[00:27:54]  When I tell you, I read that story to my girl, and we were both fucking crying relating to every single aspect of this story.
[00:28:01]  Yo, have your girl read it.

=== Fireman Rescue Metaphor (05:44) ===

[00:28:03]  You can find it on our Twitters or Jared's is his name.
[00:28:06]  But it is funny to watch them read it and realize it's about them and get angry and then laugh because it's 100% true.
[00:28:14]  Yo, all right, let's take a break for a second because we got some shows coming up.
[00:28:18]  DeandrewScholls.com for the tickets.
[00:28:20]  I cannot stress this enough.
[00:28:21]  Do not buy tickets for the shows from links that you get from any other site besides mine, deandrewscholls.com.
[00:28:29]  Okay, people always DMing me, tweeting me.
[00:28:32]  Their tickets are going for $400.
[00:28:34]  Tickets are $600, ticket, whatever.
[00:28:35]  Yes, the resale sites, they fuck you.
[00:28:38]  It's criminal.
[00:28:39]  It should be messed up.
[00:28:39]  Now, if the show's already sold out, there's nothing I can do.
[00:28:42]  That's where you got to get the tickets from.
[00:28:43]  And best of luck.
[00:28:44]  But generally speaking, my tickets are between $35 and $65.
[00:28:48]  That's it.
[00:28:49]  Usually it's between $35 and $55.
[00:28:51]  Okay, so if it's charging any more, you're getting ripped off by another site.
[00:28:54]  Pittsburgh this weekend, I think there's some tickets left.
[00:28:57]  I think Saturday, both shows sold out, maybe some more.
[00:29:00]  Miami, the weekend after that, those shows are sold out.
[00:29:03]  We're adding a Thursday, 10-15 show.
[00:29:06]  So we're adding another show.
[00:29:07]  We're getting there early before it.
[00:29:08]  Yeah, I didn't tell you that.
[00:29:09]  Is that okay?
[00:29:10]  Okay.
[00:29:11]  So we're going down there.
[00:29:13]  Thank you, man.
[00:29:14]  I love Miami.
[00:29:14]  That's always a fun fucking time.
[00:29:17]  After Miami, we are going to Portland.
[00:29:20]  Portland.
[00:29:21]  Go get them tickets.
[00:29:22]  DearendSchools.com.
[00:29:23]  We just added a bunch of other different shows.
[00:29:25]  Tucson, Milwaukee, Atlantic City, Redding, PA, Calgary, Winnipeg, DandrewSchools.com.
[00:29:32]  There's a bunch more dates what we're doing.
[00:29:34]  There's less than 50 tickets left for the special.
[00:29:38]  Get all that shit at dandrewscholes.com.
[00:29:39]  Again, we've added another like 10 or 15 cities.
[00:29:42]  So make sure you go to deandreschools.com, see if your city's on there.
[00:29:45]  We're adding even more by the end of next week.
[00:29:48]  So keep looking at Akash, what you got, baby.
[00:29:51]  This Saturday, I am at Fairfield Comedy Club in Fairfield, Connecticut.
[00:29:54]  We're just going to drop in for one night, hit a little show there.
[00:29:57]  Buy tickets.
[00:29:58]  I'm going to put the date on my website as soon as I can.
[00:30:00]  This is a new edition.
[00:30:01]  March 12th through March 14th.
[00:30:03]  Finally going to Toronto, Montreal.
[00:30:06]  I'm at the Comedy Nest, March 12th through March 14th.
[00:30:08]  Finally going to Canada.
[00:30:09]  Finally going to Canada.
[00:30:10]  You said Toronto.
[00:30:11]  Oh, finally going to.
[00:30:12]  Okay.
[00:30:12]  Well, I might have given some away.
[00:30:14]  But then after that, March 27th, I'm at the Den in Chicago.
[00:30:19]  And May 7th, another Canadian date just added.
[00:30:22]  I'm going to be in Vancouver.
[00:30:23]  The location and stuff is not locked down yet, but we have the date, May 7th.
[00:30:27]  As soon as it's live, I'm going to put it on my website.
[00:30:29]  Let's sell this show the fuck out.
[00:30:30]  Today, I am doing my first theater.
[00:30:33]  Hey, Dan is going to be in Canada where I feel like I get so much love and I'm so fucking hyped to do it there.
[00:30:38]  So let's sell that bitch out, man.
[00:30:40]  Let's rock that.
[00:30:41]  And then June 12th through June 14th, the Comedy Loft in DC.
[00:30:45]  Also, exact date, I'm not going to announce yet, but there's a Canadian city that's been calling for me a lot, and we finally got that locked down at the end of this year.
[00:30:55]  That's Toronto.
[00:30:55]  Yeah.
[00:30:55]  Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[00:30:56]  That's Toronto.
[00:30:57]  He's trying to tease.
[00:30:58]  It's Toronto.
[00:30:59]  I gave it away.
[00:31:00]  Did you hear that?
[00:31:00]  It's Toronto.
[00:31:01]  Yeah.
[00:31:02]  December 20th since we're giving it all away.
[00:31:04]  Damn right, baby.
[00:31:06]  Okay.
[00:31:07]  Guys, let's pay some bills real quick.
[00:31:09]  I got something good for you drinkers out there.
[00:31:11]  All right.
[00:31:12]  I wasn't going to talk about this until I tried it a few times on the pod.
[00:31:17]  I can't believe it took this long to actually develop this, but there's something that will get rid of your hangover.
[00:31:24]  And some of you are saying, yeah, not drinking.
[00:31:26]  You're a nerd.
[00:31:27]  So there is something called DHM Detox.
[00:31:31]  Okay.
[00:31:32]  It's a vitamin.
[00:31:33]  It's basically a vitamin for people who want to enjoy alcohol anywhere from a little bit to a lot.
[00:31:38]  So basically, what you can do is you take this, you take a couple pills after your first couple drinks, all right?
[00:31:44]  Now, I'm not saying go fucking rage all night long and then think you're going to be at work the next day.
[00:31:49]  That's not what this is about.
[00:31:50]  What I am saying is you're at dinner, you're having a few drinks, take a couple pills, you finish that bottle of wine with your friends.
[00:31:56]  You don't want to wake up absolutely destroyed.
[00:31:58]  You can't do anything the next day.
[00:31:59]  You take those early.
[00:32:00]  If you feel like you're going for it a little hard, take a couple more pills after that.
[00:32:04]  And again, this is a vitamin.
[00:32:06]  It's a natural supplement, but it's going to start to break down all those toxins that are in your body that cause the hangover.
[00:32:12]  It's going to start that breaking down process that night, okay?
[00:32:15]  I've tried it.
[00:32:17]  It's worked for me.
[00:32:19]  Okay.
[00:32:20]  It's worked for me.
[00:32:21]  Simple as that.
[00:32:22]  I take it on the road when we're on the road.
[00:32:24]  DHM Detox is what it's called.
[00:32:27]  Now, you go to DHM Detox.
[00:32:31]  That's D-H-M-D-E-T-O-X.com.
[00:32:35]  Use the promo code flagrant.
[00:32:37]  You're getting 20% off your order.
[00:32:39]  Okay.
[00:32:40]  Now, if you have any questions about this, you want to know what's in it.
[00:32:44]  You want to know the details about it.
[00:32:46]  You don't want to know how it functions.
[00:32:48]  You can actually DM them.
[00:32:49]  They'll answer your fucking DMs.
[00:32:50]  It's at DHM Detox on Instagram.
[00:32:54]  Just DM them.
[00:32:55]  Clarify anything that you need to clarify.
[00:32:57]  I'm telling you, I had it after a couple drinks.
[00:33:01]  I went to bed.
[00:33:02]  I woke up.
[00:33:03]  I was fresh.
[00:33:03]  I was ready to go.
[00:33:04]  And as I get older, I've been getting hungover much more.
[00:33:07]  When I was a kid, I could drink all fucking night.
[00:33:08]  Nothing happened.
[00:33:09]  But now hangovers are starting to fuck with me.
[00:33:11]  DHM Detox, use a promo code Flagrant.
[00:33:13]  Let us know how it works for you because we always want to know.
[00:33:17]  We want to make sure that you guys are serviced by these products.
[00:33:20]  Because if you love them, then we'll love them.
[00:33:22]  We keep doing them.
[00:33:22]  And if you guys don't love them, then we got to tell them that they get the boot.
[00:33:25]  That's how these things work.
[00:33:26]  Okay.
[00:33:27]  But this is something I believe in.
[00:33:28]  I rock with.
[00:33:29]  Get more out of your days, even if you're drinking.
[00:33:32]  Let's get back to the show.
[00:33:33]  Okay, flagrant thoughts.
[00:33:35]  So I watched Parasite.
[00:33:36]  Yes.
[00:33:37]  You finally watched it.
[00:33:38]  Finally watched it.
[00:33:39]  There's a bit of a spoiler here.
[00:33:40]  There's probably a spoiler here.
[00:33:41]  So if you want to watch it.
[00:33:43]  You ain't going to watch the movie.
[00:33:44]  If you didn't watch it already, you're not going to watch it.
[00:33:45]  I didn't think it was that great, to be honest.
[00:33:46]  That was cool.
[00:33:47]  Okay.

=== Sewage Smell Complaints (03:40) ===

[00:33:48]  But there's a scene in which they got this whole charade going that they're not related and they're not fucking poppers with these rich people that they're working for.
[00:33:55]  But then there's this massive flood and then it causes all this sewage water to be released in their house.
[00:34:00]  Their house gets flooded.
[00:34:01]  They're trapped in sewage water for hours.
[00:34:03]  They got to go sleep in a fucking tent somewhere like a baseball stadium or whatever.
[00:34:07]  And then the next day they all get called into work, stinking like shit.
[00:34:11]  And one of the things that triggers the whole series of events that causes the climax is the rich person says basically poor people have a certain smell.
[00:34:18]  And that really triggers the dad.
[00:34:20]  He hears it three times.
[00:34:21]  He hears it once.
[00:34:22]  Then in the car, when he's smelling like shit, he's driving the wife around and then she covers her nose.
[00:34:28]  And I remember thinking, yo, why didn't you just get it?
[00:34:30]  You got a good job.
[00:34:31]  Why don't you just get a fucking hotel, shower, buy some new clothes so you don't smell like human sewage?
[00:34:37]  Yeah.
[00:34:38]  This chain of events ruins this entire everything for this family.
[00:34:42]  That's how cheap Asians are.
[00:34:47]  That was my flagrant thought.
[00:34:48]  You're so fucking stingy.
[00:34:50]  You won't just buy some new clothes and get a nice hotel.
[00:34:54]  You'll just go to a hotel room and spoiler alert, murder two people instead of paying for some clothes.
[00:35:02]  And you won't even pay to be on the run?
[00:35:04]  Oh, yeah.
[00:35:05]  You'd rather live in a fucking dungeon.
[00:35:06]  Yeah, which is, hey, it's free.
[00:35:08]  Maybe they're just dumb.
[00:35:09]  Maybe that's the point of that whole fucking thing.
[00:35:11]  Those people were pieces of shit.
[00:35:13]  I hated the poor people.
[00:35:15]  I heard people being like, who's to blame?
[00:35:16]  Rich or poor?
[00:35:17]  It's the poor the whole time.
[00:35:18]  It's about the poor.
[00:35:19]  It's about wealth inequality.
[00:35:20]  No, it's about how fucking poor those poor pieces shit, motherfuckers.
[00:35:24]  It has nothing to do with all the rest of the poor people.
[00:35:26]  It's just that one family where we're pieces of human garbage.
[00:35:31]  I don't know if we talked about this on the Patreon.
[00:35:33]  I forgot if we did.
[00:35:33]  We didn't?
[00:35:34]  No.
[00:35:34]  Okay.
[00:35:35]  You lost me when you kissed the girl.
[00:35:38]  Immediately.
[00:35:39]  I'm done.
[00:35:39]  Immediately.
[00:35:40]  I'm done.
[00:35:40]  You're a piece of shit.
[00:35:41]  Your boy said, Listen, I want to fuck this girl when she's old enough, which is creepy in and of itself, right?
[00:35:46]  Like, we just throw pedophilia around like they're okay with that shit.
[00:35:49]  So the kid's already like a date rapist.
[00:35:52]  We're not whatever that is.
[00:35:53]  Statutory rapists a little bit.
[00:35:54]  You know what I mean?
[00:35:55]  It's borderline.
[00:35:56]  Borderline.
[00:35:57]  You don't have to lie.
[00:35:58]  They lie for no reason.
[00:35:59]  Yeah.
[00:36:00]  You could say, oh, my sister's actually really good with art.
[00:36:02]  You want to see if she could do something for the kid?
[00:36:04]  But you decide to lie because you're a piece of shit and you get the karma that's.
[00:36:06]  Scumbags from moment one.
[00:36:08]  Exactly.
[00:36:08]  Stop lifting up these people as if they don't deserve to be in the position they're in.
[00:36:12]  The father loser through and through.
[00:36:15]  Loser through and through.
[00:36:17]  100% loser through and through.
[00:36:19]  The mother, I don't know.
[00:36:20]  She's just a dragon bitch.
[00:36:22]  Just always judging her husband because he's poor.
[00:36:24]  Bitch, get a job.
[00:36:24]  Wait, was she?
[00:36:25]  Oh, she was just always saying size, like slick shit to him.
[00:36:28]  Yeah.
[00:36:28]  I don't even remember, but just like anything, like when he's eating and she's like, your kids bringing home the money.
[00:36:33]  Like, you're not, you're telling them to eat.
[00:36:34]  They're paying for it.
[00:36:35]  Yeah.
[00:36:35]  She just always shitty.
[00:36:37]  Yeah.
[00:36:37]  And then save the money and move out.
[00:36:39]  The second you get some money, you just move out of your shitty house.
[00:36:41]  Easy.
[00:36:42]  Done.
[00:36:42]  You stayed in the sewage house.
[00:36:44]  Yeah.
[00:36:44]  I don't feel bad at all.
[00:36:45]  I don't feel bad at all for them.
[00:36:46]  Then they kill two people on the way.
[00:36:48]  They're monsters through and through.
[00:36:49]  Yeah.
[00:36:49]  They got what they deserved.
[00:36:50]  100%.
[00:36:51]  And I hope the father lives there for the rest of his miserable existence.
[00:36:54]  And sneaks out of the business.
[00:36:55]  Honestly, I didn't think enough of them died.
[00:36:56]  Say again?
[00:36:57]  I didn't think enough of them died.
[00:36:58]  Yeah.
[00:36:58]  Four of them should have died.
[00:36:59]  Yeah.
[00:36:59]  All of them.
[00:37:00]  That's the perfect way to end that movie if all four of them died.
[00:37:04]  The original housekeeping.
[00:37:05]  At the hands of that little kid.
[00:37:06]  Original housekeeper.
[00:37:07]  Also poor.
[00:37:08]  Yeah.
[00:37:08]  Great lady.
[00:37:09]  Did her job well.
[00:37:10]  Didn't steal anybody's job.
[00:37:11]  Just did her job well.
[00:37:13]  Didn't even steal food for her husband that lived in the basement.
[00:37:15]  Yeah.
[00:37:15]  And the husband lived in the basement, grateful that he had a basement.
[00:37:18]  Yeah.
[00:37:19]  Ideal poor.
[00:37:20]  Yeah.
[00:37:25]  Grateful of the blessings that the rich bestow upon her.

=== Four Deaths Perfect Ending (02:12) ===

[00:37:28]  No, it was a piece of shit.
[00:37:30]  I understand your flagrant take, and I agree with it entirely.
[00:37:36]  Thoughts?
[00:37:37]  Have you guys seen Parasite?
[00:37:38]  Yeah.
[00:37:40]  Beautifully shot movie, though.
[00:37:41]  The movie was shot beautifully.
[00:37:42]  Yeah, I like it.
[00:37:43]  I thought the movie was good.
[00:37:45]  You said you didn't like the movie?
[00:37:46]  I was cool.
[00:37:47]  I mean, I came in knowing it's the winner of Best Picture, and I heard this thought on the take, and I actually agree with it.
[00:37:53]  I think maybe the Oscars picked it because they look more woke in the face of all the backlash.
[00:37:58]  Like, I didn't think it was better than Joker.
[00:38:00]  It wasn't.
[00:38:01]  I haven't seen 1917.
[00:38:02]  I doubt it was better than 1917.
[00:38:04]  Even cinematography alone, what I've heard, 1917 is cinematography.
[00:38:08]  It's really good.
[00:38:09]  I mean, the cinematography and 1917 is one take the entire movie.
[00:38:13]  They shoot it as if it's one take.
[00:38:15]  It's not real.
[00:38:15]  Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[00:38:16]  But no, I respect that.
[00:38:18]  And Joker was just fucking unreal.
[00:38:20]  Fantastic.
[00:38:20]  Sure.
[00:38:21]  Except for his stupid speech.
[00:38:22]  Shut the fuck up.
[00:38:23]  Again, though.
[00:38:24]  Did you see his stupid speech?
[00:38:26]  We got to care about cows.
[00:38:27]  You fucking idiot.
[00:38:28]  Yeah.
[00:38:29]  Like, this is.
[00:38:31]  He's just so fucking annoying, man.
[00:38:33]  How did they not learn anything from how well everybody responded to Ricky Gervais's shut the fuck up Golden Globe speech?
[00:38:40]  Like, Brad Pitt was there, won a Golden Globe, shut the fuck up, then was the first award winner at the Oscars and immediately got political.
[00:38:47]  What did he say?
[00:38:48]  I don't know.
[00:38:48]  Who cares?
[00:38:49]  Something about two presidents or some shit like that.
[00:38:51]  All you do is make people vote for Trump.
[00:38:53]  That's all actors do.
[00:38:54]  Because they look at you and think, what the fuck do you know?
[00:38:56]  You're a fucking drama major.
[00:38:58]  Yeah.
[00:38:58]  I'm supposed to listen to you about nuclear policy.
[00:39:00]  You're a drama major.
[00:39:03]  The fuck do you know?
[00:39:05]  When have we ever looked to drama majors for information about anything?
[00:39:08]  Bro, I tried to work on a bit about this, but in New York, especially, it was always met with weird.
[00:39:12]  But I'm like, look, if there's a fucking Holocaust about to break out over differences in stage lighting, then I want to know what you have to say.
[00:39:19]  Yeah.
[00:39:19]  Drama major.
[00:39:20]  But until then, maybe you shut the fuck up and let intelligent people talk.
[00:39:23]  Yeah.
[00:39:24]  Or at least people educated in the field.
[00:39:26]  Yeah.
[00:39:30]  I don't know.
[00:39:31]  I thought it could be more.
[00:39:33]  No, I wanted you to keep going about drama major.
[00:39:36]  I was out.
[00:39:37]  I really wanted you.
[00:39:38]  I wanted you to fucking lay in.

=== Drama Major Nuclear Policy (11:59) ===

[00:39:40]  I mean, what else do you think?
[00:39:42]  I think it's just such an obviously fake cause to go for.
[00:39:45]  You know what I could have?
[00:39:46]  I probably could have said more if somebody told me what to say.
[00:39:48]  Like I was a fucking drama major.
[00:39:51]  Like you don't have talent.
[00:39:52]  You don't write anything.
[00:39:53]  You're just a fucking parakeet.
[00:39:54]  You're a well-trained parrot.
[00:39:56]  That's all you are is a highly advanced parrot.
[00:40:00]  You're not smart.
[00:40:01]  You don't even say what you say on camera that gets you awards.
[00:40:04]  You don't write that.
[00:40:05]  Somebody tells you what to say there.
[00:40:07]  Their acceptance speech?
[00:40:08]  No, I'm saying in the movies that gets them the acceptance speech.
[00:40:10]  You didn't write any of those thoughts.
[00:40:12]  And now I got to listen to you fucking meander about verbally for 30 seconds diarying out of your fucking mouth.
[00:40:18]  The idea that you care about poor people and you walk a royal red carpet and cage off the fucking plebeians like a goddamn king.
[00:40:26]  You walk a majestic red carpet and then tell me you care about poor people.
[00:40:30]  You got cages so no one can touch you and you care about poor people.
[00:40:34]  You are everyone you rail against.
[00:40:37]  Interesting.
[00:40:38]  Barack Obama, not as much security as the fucking Golden Globes.
[00:40:42]  Whoever, Trump, right now.
[00:40:43]  Trump Towers don't got as many cages around it as the Golden Globes has or the Oscars has.
[00:40:48]  Yeah, what is their take on that?
[00:40:50]  Like, what are their take on like the idea that actors take on the wall?
[00:40:55]  Oh, I don't know.
[00:40:56]  They've got one.
[00:40:57]  Yo, first of all, I heard a great take on Mexican illegal immigration when I was in Mexico for my boy Raul.
[00:41:04]  He goes, stop saying you're the best.
[00:41:13]  He goes, this is what happens.
[00:41:14]  It's like for years, if you say you're the best, we're going to want to check it out.
[00:41:17]  It's like Supreme.
[00:41:18]  America's like Supreme.
[00:41:19]  That's it.
[00:41:20]  I got to go inside and see what's kept.
[00:41:22]  We got a big fucking line.
[00:41:23]  We're going to get it different ways sometimes.
[00:41:27]  We're going to get it in the black market.
[00:41:28]  But like, yo, it's true.
[00:41:30]  It's like, it's like America is reaping what is sowed.
[00:41:33]  Yeah.
[00:41:34]  We told the whole world we're the best.
[00:41:36]  Everything happens.
[00:41:36]  So you come here.
[00:41:37]  You get rich.
[00:41:38]  And the opportunity.
[00:41:40]  Endless opportunity.
[00:41:41]  Change everything.
[00:41:42]  And then when people try to come, we're like, yo, why are you coming?
[00:41:45]  Yo, why the fuck would you come here?
[00:41:47]  Because he's the best.
[00:41:48]  Sweden ain't talking shit about how great it is.
[00:41:51]  Yeah, you're right.
[00:41:51]  They're just like, everybody's getting raped.
[00:41:53]  Right?
[00:41:53]  Like, they're doing the opposite PR in Sweden.
[00:41:56]  They're like, there's Muslims everywhere.
[00:41:57]  Everybody's getting raped.
[00:41:59]  But in reality, it's probably all right.
[00:42:02]  You didn't get raped.
[00:42:03]  Alex had jail.
[00:42:04]  He was the only black ass in jail and nobody wanted to tap that.
[00:42:07]  Son, nobody.
[00:42:08]  Damn, son.
[00:42:09]  Privet shower, yo.
[00:42:11]  Wait, did you drive a shower, right?
[00:42:12]  Because you're black or because everybody there has a party?
[00:42:15]  Everybody there.
[00:42:15]  Oh, okay.
[00:42:16]  There's a big sign around his shower.
[00:42:19]  Bro, my boy Raul had some points, Doug.
[00:42:21]  He had another point about like cancel culture in general.
[00:42:25]  And he goes, it's the effect of industrialization.
[00:42:31]  I go, what do you mean?
[00:42:33]  He goes, we're completely detached from how things get to our consumption.
[00:42:40]  Right?
[00:42:42]  So when we see food, we don't farm for our food.
[00:42:47]  We don't hunt for our food.
[00:42:48]  We don't do anything.
[00:42:48]  We just get the meal and then we go thumbs up, thumbs down.
[00:42:52]  Roman Emperor style.
[00:42:53]  I think Burr had a bit about that or something, maybe something the other day.
[00:42:56]  But that's literally what we do.
[00:42:57]  Even Facebook is the like, dislike, right?
[00:42:59]  Etc.
[00:43:01]  And it's because we're completely detached from what it takes to get there.
[00:43:05]  When you see someone slaving over a meal, right?
[00:43:08]  Your mom slaving over a meal.
[00:43:10]  And then you eat the meal.
[00:43:11]  There's a little bit more appreciation.
[00:43:12]  Even if it's not your favorite, you're like, yo, she was here all day.
[00:43:16]  But since we have zero attachment to that, the same thing goes with people.
[00:43:20]  It's like one bad thing happens and it's just down.
[00:43:24]  We don't care about all the things that made you that person or all the events that led to you saying that.
[00:43:29]  We don't even give any context because we don't care about context.
[00:43:31]  Give me the finished product and I'll tell you if it's good or bad, if it lives or dies.
[00:43:36]  That was interesting.
[00:43:37]  Yo, Raul, who is this enlightened busboy?
[00:43:39]  Yo, this boy.
[00:43:42]  You know, he sounds like to me.
[00:43:43]  He sounds like a head bus boy to me.
[00:43:46]  He can't be a regular busbus boy.
[00:43:48]  I'm not doing it.
[00:43:49]  I'm not doing it.
[00:43:49]  I'm not going to.
[00:43:50]  I have too much respect for my Mexican brethren.
[00:43:53]  I went through it.
[00:43:54]  So you wouldn't assign them the position of head busboy?
[00:43:56]  You just make them a regular busboy?
[00:43:58]  I'd make them regular busboy.
[00:43:59]  Wow.
[00:44:00]  Every single fucking time.
[00:44:01]  Disrespecting Raul like that.
[00:44:02]  Son.
[00:44:04]  You don't even care about Raul, yo.
[00:44:06]  I'm ain't hitting you with these ill-ass points you probably trying to make.
[00:44:09]  That point was good about Mexico.
[00:44:11]  Like, stop saying you're the shit.
[00:44:13]  Great point.
[00:44:14]  Yeah.
[00:44:15]  Yeah, it's like America is like a girl that wears like slutty clothes.
[00:44:20]  Right?
[00:44:21]  It is.
[00:44:23]  Why is Haney?
[00:44:24]  Why are you shaking your head?
[00:44:25]  That's what we are.
[00:44:26]  We're some fucking instathot.
[00:44:28]  And then when people are writing comments, like, ah, damn, I want to fuck you.
[00:44:31]  Like, oh my god, look at the comments.
[00:44:32]  Like, that's my least favorite thing.
[00:44:35]  Like, why have I been objectified?
[00:44:36]  Yeah.
[00:44:37]  Why is everyone sliding in my DM?
[00:44:39]  Why are they sliding?
[00:44:39]  Why are they trying to?
[00:44:42]  But there is something to that.
[00:44:43]  Like, there's this girl who's funny.
[00:44:46]  I'm not going to shout her out just yet, but maybe we'll have her on a podcast once.
[00:44:48]  But she does this thing where she posts tons of thirst traps and that kind of shit.
[00:44:52]  And then she reads her DMs with the eye roll as if these guys are stupid for doing it.
[00:44:57]  And it's like, that's what you're asking for, right?
[00:44:59]  Yeah.
[00:45:01]  Yeah, we should just post your pictures with the eye roll.
[00:45:03]  Look at this thirsty ass bitch.
[00:45:05]  Ah.
[00:45:07]  Trying to get my attention.
[00:45:09]  That's what a guy is doing.
[00:45:10]  He's just trying to get your attention.
[00:45:11]  Okay.
[00:45:12]  All right.
[00:45:13]  Flagrant thoughts.
[00:45:14]  I have a flagrant thought.
[00:45:15]  And I was thinking about this yesterday.
[00:45:19]  All right.
[00:45:19]  Does pussy have morning breath?
[00:45:24]  100%?
[00:45:25]  Because I've never ate AM pussy, right?
[00:45:28]  And it was specifically because I figured there was morning breath.
[00:45:31]  Eden's speaking now.
[00:45:32]  Go.
[00:45:34]  Someone called Eden and said Eden's last name was De Turkey.
[00:45:38]  Deturkey?
[00:45:39]  Wow.
[00:45:40]  I haven't heard a turkey job.
[00:45:41]  Eden De Pavo.
[00:45:42]  De Pabo.
[00:45:43]  I'm fuck with that.
[00:45:43]  Eden de Pavo.
[00:45:44]  Okay, Eden de Pavo, go.
[00:45:45]  Do y'all eat pussy only straight out the shower?
[00:45:49]  No, I'll eat pussy.
[00:45:50]  Depending on the pussy.
[00:45:54]  No, no, no, no.
[00:45:55]  I'll definitely eat pussy no matter what.
[00:45:56]  Straight out of the shower?
[00:45:57]  No, regardless.
[00:45:58]  Grow up, dog.
[00:45:59]  Honestly, straight up.
[00:46:00]  No, that's what I'm saying.
[00:46:01]  So like overnight pussy is like marination.
[00:46:06]  I'm showering.
[00:46:07]  We just got running water, some of us.
[00:46:09]  You think we talk about over here?
[00:46:11]  Something called running water, dog.
[00:46:13]  Because they be running from it.
[00:46:14]  That's what I'm saying.
[00:46:15]  So like overnight pussy is like marination.
[00:46:17]  You know, so it tastes a little better.
[00:46:20]  You think it tastes better.
[00:46:21]  Yeah.
[00:46:22]  No, dude.
[00:46:22]  I don't want just some skin taste, and that's it.
[00:46:25]  That's what I want.
[00:46:26]  I want it skin.
[00:46:27]  I want exactly skin.
[00:46:28]  If it could taste.
[00:46:29]  So what's the difference between shower pussy and then...
[00:46:31]  Well, we're not talking about shower pussy.
[00:46:32]  You've derailed this conversation.
[00:46:34]  We're talking about if it has morning breath in and of itself.
[00:46:38]  It's a stink.
[00:46:39]  Because I'm not eating anything that makes my breath stink in the morning.
[00:46:42]  I have no clue, to be honest, why it stinks in the morning.
[00:46:44]  But it smells horrible in the morning.
[00:46:46]  But I'm doing the same thing that I'm doing all day, which is just breathing.
[00:46:49]  Right?
[00:46:50]  So why the fuck does my breath smell in the morning?
[00:46:52]  Open.
[00:46:52]  Right.
[00:46:53]  I'm breathing my mouth open?
[00:46:54]  Yes.
[00:46:54]  You would think breathing with your mouth open makes it cleaner.
[00:46:57]  No.
[00:46:58]  Bacteria and shit was like just drying up and then growing.
[00:47:02]  Oh, that's disgusting.
[00:47:03]  Yeah, accumulating.
[00:47:03]  So the same thing probably happens to pussy.
[00:47:06]  No, no, no, pussy's close.
[00:47:07]  Pussy doesn't open up in the morning.
[00:47:08]  It's not.
[00:47:09]  Pussy don't sleep like this.
[00:47:12]  And once you do that, pussy, though.
[00:47:16]  You might open up that music.
[00:47:18]  That shit gaping.
[00:47:21]  Yo, then maybe.
[00:47:23]  But so, so, okay, so you think there's no difference in flavor or smell in the morning.
[00:47:29]  Ladies, lady assholes that are listening, please tell us.
[00:47:31]  We would love to know.
[00:47:32]  I really want to know.
[00:47:33]  Yeah.
[00:47:34]  I always assumed.
[00:47:35]  That's why I never did it.
[00:47:36]  I assumed that it was just like your mouth, right?
[00:47:38]  It was closed all night, pussy's clothes all night, and then whatever's happening, giving it some breath, and then now it has the breath.
[00:47:44]  That was my take.
[00:47:45]  I would assume, no.
[00:47:46]  I would also assume if, I mean, I haven't done it, but that's probably the time to do it because you got morning breath, so fuck it.
[00:47:50]  Lean in.
[00:47:51]  Oh, God.
[00:47:51]  You know what I mean?
[00:47:52]  That sounds crazy.
[00:47:53]  Lean in.
[00:47:53]  Bro, come on, dude.
[00:47:56]  That's fucking crazy.
[00:47:57]  This guy's in the bathroom.
[00:47:58]  She's shitting her brains out.
[00:47:59]  He's like, come on.
[00:48:00]  Yeah, but that's bros, dude.
[00:48:02]  Morning breath on morning push.
[00:48:03]  Hey, lean in.
[00:48:04]  You know what I mean?
[00:48:05]  That's what they got.
[00:48:05]  Yeah, it'll cancel itself out like a math problem.
[00:48:07]  It's negative numbers.
[00:48:09]  Oh, dude.
[00:48:13]  My gosh.
[00:48:14]  You multiply two negatives.
[00:48:15]  No, I can't do that.
[00:48:16]  That's just too fucking crazy.
[00:48:17]  All right.
[00:48:18]  What's it called, Alex?
[00:48:19]  What you got for us?
[00:48:20]  So, do you guys want to make some history?
[00:48:22]  Do you want to take the podcast to another level?
[00:48:25]  Oh, boy.
[00:48:25]  Here we go.
[00:48:26]  Here we go.
[00:48:27]  No.
[00:48:27]  Nah, come on.
[00:48:28]  You got it, though.
[00:48:29]  Okay.
[00:48:29]  All right.
[00:48:29]  So there's a chance we can make it into the Guinness Book of World Records.
[00:48:33]  I'm already in it, but go on.
[00:48:35]  Word?
[00:48:36]  He is.
[00:48:36]  Come on.
[00:48:36]  Four.
[00:48:37]  Most kisses on the hand in under a minute.
[00:48:39]  Oh, shit.
[00:48:40]  Okay.
[00:48:41]  That record's still standing.
[00:48:42]  Still standing.
[00:48:43]  Records still standing.
[00:48:44]  Oh, shit.
[00:48:44]  Google your boy.
[00:48:46]  World records confirmed.
[00:48:47]  Okay.
[00:48:48]  Did it on television?
[00:48:49]  What in the fucking hell is this?
[00:48:50]  So for the rest of the day.
[00:48:51]  You seen it?
[00:48:52]  You seen it?
[00:48:52]  You fucking turkey?
[00:48:54]  Go.
[00:48:55]  112.
[00:48:56]  Damn right.
[00:48:57]  What the fuck?
[00:48:58]  Son, I'm in the Guinness Book of World Records, son.
[00:49:01]  Yeah.
[00:49:02]  Oh, that's what's up.
[00:49:03]  That's pretty baller.
[00:49:04]  That's kind of hot.
[00:49:04]  Reflex.
[00:49:05]  Come on, son.
[00:49:06]  I need to get that sign, put that in the studio.
[00:49:08]  All right.
[00:49:09]  So, you know the movie Human Centipede?
[00:49:14]  Yeah.
[00:49:15]  Do you know?
[00:49:15]  Are you familiar with that movie?
[00:49:17]  I know others.
[00:49:18]  They sew the mouth to the asshole.
[00:49:19]  Yeah.
[00:49:19]  Okay.
[00:49:20]  So we have about one, two, three, four, five, six guys.
[00:49:24]  Okay.
[00:49:24]  Well, five, because I'll just like be recording.
[00:49:27]  All right.
[00:49:28]  Just do, instead of like ass to mouth, ass to mouth, just do dick to butt, dick to butt, dick to butt, and make a homo centipede.
[00:49:34]  Okay, so that is called an elephant walk.
[00:49:37]  Really?
[00:49:38]  There's a thing for that?
[00:49:39]  Oh, you wouldn't know.
[00:49:40]  I'm sorry.
[00:49:40]  Come on, that's how you get into frats.
[00:49:42]  You fucking.
[00:49:43]  Mark definitely have done it.
[00:49:44]  No, you did.
[00:49:45]  Mark, you did an elephant walk, son?
[00:49:47]  Mark's in it and marks in on the other room.
[00:49:48]  But basically, what you do is you put the tip of your dick between the butt cheeks of the guy in front of you.
[00:49:53]  And then the person behind you puts the tip of his dick between the butt cheeks of the guy in front of, and then you guys all walk in unison.
[00:49:58]  Oh, I was saying penetrate.
[00:50:00]  You have to be connected.
[00:50:01]  Bro, we're not getting gay over here.
[00:50:03]  Son, I mean, you guys, I'll document for the Guinness Book of World Records.
[00:50:07]  You want to film us putting in each other's butts.
[00:50:11]  I mean, I'm just going to stand back here and do the same thing I do right here.
[00:50:15]  That's way gayer because you're not even having the pleasure of a dick in your butt.
[00:50:18]  Son, but then we'll be watching it.
[00:50:20]  We'll be the only podcast in the Guinness Book of World Records.
[00:50:23]  That's not true.
[00:50:23]  We're already in it.
[00:50:24]  No, podcast.
[00:50:25]  So you want to do something as a podcast?
[00:50:27]  Yeah.
[00:50:29]  We could have the longest conversation about dick and a butts in any podcast.
[00:50:32]  We could do that if we continue this conversation for another 30 seconds.
[00:50:36]  Son, I can't believe.
[00:50:37]  So white boys have done everything.
[00:50:39]  Yeah, everything, dude.
[00:50:40]  Literally everything.
[00:50:41]  There's nothing we haven't done.
[00:50:42]  Okay.
[00:50:43]  You tried to out white boy out?
[00:50:44]  Yeah, I tried to outwhack a white boy.
[00:50:47]  Come on, son.
[00:50:47]  That's the old shit.
[00:50:48]  Lightwork.
[00:50:49]  He's like, that old shit.
[00:50:50]  Come on, son.
[00:50:52]  You must know white Thursday over here.
[00:50:53]  Come on, bro.
[00:50:54]  That's old shit, dog.
[00:50:56]  We're on different levels right now.
[00:50:58]  He tried corporate himself.
[00:50:59]  Yeah.
[00:51:00]  I was there.
[00:51:01]  Yeah.
[00:51:01]  I did that shit.
[00:51:03]  Wow.
[00:51:05]  Yo.
[00:51:05]  Elephant walk.
[00:51:06]  You guys are crazy.
[00:51:09]  That's what it is.
[00:51:10]  It's a crit.
[00:51:11]  So, what's the longest elephant walk?
[00:51:13]  Because maybe I didn't type it in, but when I looked up, like, is there a dick-to-butt human centipede?
[00:51:19]  There wasn't one.
[00:51:20]  There wasn't ever one done.
[00:51:21]  In the Guinness Book of World Records, no.
[00:51:23]  I mean, that might be a different book of World Records.
[00:51:25]  There's like a Braser's Book of World Records or something.
[00:51:27]  Oh, really?
[00:51:28]  I would imagine there's going to be some sort of sexual shit going on.
[00:51:31]  Gotta be.
[00:51:32]  Yeah.
[00:51:32]  100%.
[00:51:34]  Anyway, I mean, if it's okay with you, we can move on past the Jason.
[00:51:37]  I'm trying to take the podcast if you're ready.

=== All-Star Game Tribute to Kobe (09:44) ===

[00:51:40]  All right, let's take a break for a second, pay some bills.
[00:51:42]  Get a shirt that actually fits, okay?
[00:51:45]  You're wearing these button-down shirts.
[00:51:46]  You have them hanging out of your pants because you think it looks cool.
[00:51:50]  They're not made for it.
[00:51:52]  Okay.
[00:51:52]  If you want a button-down shirt that looks professional, but you want to wear it in a casual way, just go to untuck it.
[00:51:59]  You go to untuckit.com.
[00:52:01]  Simple as that.
[00:52:02]  untuckit.com.
[00:52:03]  Use the promo code flagrant, 20% off your order.
[00:52:06]  U-N-T-U-C-K-I-T dot com.
[00:52:09]  Okay.
[00:52:10]  It's the year 2020.
[00:52:12]  Everything is business casual.
[00:52:14]  I don't care where you go.
[00:52:15]  It's business casual.
[00:52:16]  You got some jeans on.
[00:52:17]  You want a button-down shirt.
[00:52:18]  You're at work.
[00:52:19]  You want to look presentable.
[00:52:19]  You're not in a regular t-shirt like me, looking like a schleppe.
[00:52:22]  You have a real job.
[00:52:23]  You've got to be a real person.
[00:52:25]  But if you want that thing not tucked in, you want it untucked, then get a shirt that's exactly designed to do that.
[00:52:31]  It's designed to be that way.
[00:52:33]  It's cut to be that way.
[00:52:35]  You don't look like a girl that slept over at her boyfriend's house and didn't have any clothes to go home the next day.
[00:52:41]  Okay?
[00:52:42]  You can look like a respectable human being in a button-down shirt that is not tucked into your.
[00:52:47]  And tucked-in shirts like dress shirts when you tuck it all the way in, even if it's for a job.
[00:52:51]  It looks a little try-hard.
[00:52:52]  It is, dude.
[00:52:53]  It looks try-hard.
[00:52:54]  It's like, get your shit together, man.
[00:52:56]  Untuckit.com.
[00:52:58]  Simple as that.
[00:52:59]  Untuckit.com.
[00:53:00]  Use the promo code Flagrant.
[00:53:01]  You get 20% off.
[00:53:03]  Thank us now.
[00:53:04]  Thank us later.
[00:53:05]  Don't thank us at all.
[00:53:06]  We don't care.
[00:53:07]  We just don't want you looking ugly.
[00:53:09]  Now let's get back to the show.
[00:53:10]  Why don't we talk about some deportes, guys?
[00:53:12]  What do we think about that?
[00:53:13]  Did you watch the all-star game?
[00:53:15]  I was on a flight helping my girl throw up.
[00:53:18]  Yep.
[00:53:18]  So I just caught up on highlights today.
[00:53:21]  I seen it.
[00:53:22]  It was fantastic.
[00:53:24]  Bro, this is the one.
[00:53:25]  We figured it out.
[00:53:25]  Yeah.
[00:53:26]  They figured it out.
[00:53:27]  It was great.
[00:53:27]  And I didn't watch any of it live because I was like, yeah, this shit is always whack.
[00:53:31]  I was even saying on the podcast, this shit is whack now.
[00:53:33]  I didn't think about the fact that you got to do it for Kobe now.
[00:53:36]  Oh, yeah.
[00:53:37]  I saw the dunk contest highlights.
[00:53:38]  Oh, women.
[00:53:39]  What do you mean?
[00:53:40]  Just like, yo, you can't not try to win, especially the all-star game.
[00:53:43]  You can't not try to win in the fourth quarter.
[00:53:45]  If this is, this is a tribute to Kobe.
[00:53:47]  Kobe's all about going after the win.
[00:53:49]  I don't think they cared about Kobe, to be honest with you.
[00:53:53]  No, I think that was a part of the play.
[00:53:55]  Okay, there's a party.
[00:53:56]  Let's be more competitive now.
[00:53:58]  Yeah, what's okay?
[00:54:00]  I think it's part of it.
[00:54:01]  I also think that they redesigned the game.
[00:54:02]  For anybody who doesn't know, they redesigned how the all-star game is played.
[00:54:05]  It was quite confusing, but it worked.
[00:54:07]  And I'll make sense of it right now for you real quick because when it was first explained to me, my mom, I was like, I don't even understand what the fuck is going on.
[00:54:14]  They play a regular game for the first three quarters.
[00:54:16]  Yeah.
[00:54:17]  Okay.
[00:54:18]  Then whoever has more points, whichever team has more points, let's say at the end of three quarters, that's 100 to 90.
[00:54:23]  You add 24 points to the leading team.
[00:54:27]  Yeah.
[00:54:28]  No, sorry.
[00:54:28]  Let me pull that back.
[00:54:31]  Whoever has more points, let's say it's 1 to 90.
[00:54:35]  You add 24 points to that.
[00:54:37]  You don't add it to the team to that.
[00:54:39]  So 124 points.
[00:54:40]  Yeah.
[00:54:41]  Is the end of the game.
[00:54:44]  So that means that team with 100 has to score 24 and the team with 90 has scored 34.
[00:54:48]  But then after the first three quarters, it becomes first two in this situation 124.
[00:54:53]  The actual situation of the all-star game was 157.
[00:54:56]  Yeah.
[00:54:56]  Okay.
[00:54:57]  LeBron's team was down going into that fourth quarter.
[00:55:01]  They came from behind.
[00:55:03]  And what essentially it does is it gives you three quarters for fun, goofing around, everybody getting their buckets, et cetera.
[00:55:10]  And then the fourth quarter is a pickup game.
[00:55:12]  There's no timer on it.
[00:55:14]  The game goes as long as it needs to go.
[00:55:16]  Okay.
[00:55:17]  And what was genius is when you turn it into a pickup game, you ignite the competitive fire that exists in all these athletes.
[00:55:28]  And they are deeply competitive.
[00:55:31]  You're not an NBA all-star most of the time unless you are deeply competitive.
[00:55:35]  They compete about gambling.
[00:55:36]  They compete about fucking candies.
[00:55:38]  They compete.
[00:55:39]  Anything that they do in their entire life, they're competing, right?
[00:55:42]  But they found a way to compete, and it's because it's first to that score.
[00:55:47]  Yeah.
[00:55:47]  And they added an element, the winner of each quarter.
[00:55:53]  They donated $100,000.
[00:55:55]  Yeah, $100,000 wide to the bottom.
[00:55:57]  We could try to win the quarter, too.
[00:55:59]  We might as well try to win the quarter.
[00:56:00]  $100,000 goes to our charity.
[00:56:01]  Let's do it.
[00:56:02]  And matter of fact, if you're not trying, you don't care about your charity.
[00:56:04]  Yeah.
[00:56:04]  Piece of shit.
[00:56:05]  Yeah.
[00:56:05]  Right?
[00:56:06]  So that was cool.
[00:56:06]  Like, each quarter, it's like, oh, okay, they're actually trying a little bit.
[00:56:09]  They incentivize.
[00:56:10]  At the end of the second, they were calling timeouts to advance the ball.
[00:56:15]  They were like fouling to stop the clock.
[00:56:17]  Like, shit, you will never see an all-star game.
[00:56:19]  So they were screaming at the refs.
[00:56:20]  Kyle Lowry took a middle charges.
[00:56:23]  Trying to take three.
[00:56:24]  Yep.
[00:56:25]  That's right.
[00:56:25]  Yeah, yeah.
[00:56:26]  That's right.
[00:56:26]  But LeBron threw the alley.
[00:56:27]  Yeah, yeah.
[00:56:29]  There was no, it was a brilliant way in other sports to look at this and find ways to incentivize their all-star game.
[00:56:37]  Like, obviously, the football one sucks.
[00:56:38]  And that's because what we like about football is the carnage.
[00:56:41]  And you can't exactly show.
[00:56:42]  You can't do it.
[00:56:43]  You just can't.
[00:56:44]  You can't show the carnage.
[00:56:47]  What I will say is this.
[00:56:49]  And if you guys haven't seen it, you should just watch the highlights.
[00:56:51]  What a game like this does is exposes the alphas.
[00:56:55]  Everybody's true colors show in that fourth quarter, right?
[00:56:59]  You get the best of the best, and the I don't want to say mediocre or the mediocre, but basically the pecking order is really designed and showed it.
[00:57:09]  Yeah.
[00:57:11]  Jonas was playing incredible defense on LeBron.
[00:57:14]  Yeah.
[00:57:16]  Had a chase-down block on LeBron.
[00:57:17]  Bro, did that not count?
[00:57:20]  It was initially called goaltending and then they looked back.
[00:57:22]  It was an amazing chase-down block because he was picked and clearly beat.
[00:57:26]  And then LeBron looked back.
[00:57:27]  He's like, oh, he's coming.
[00:57:28]  LeBron should have flushed that, but it doesn't matter.
[00:57:31]  So Jonas played amazing D on LeBron, but LeBron was still able to get shots off.
[00:57:36]  He just wasn't hitting.
[00:57:38]  LeBron played even better defense on Giannis.
[00:57:44]  Giannis couldn't get a shot off.
[00:57:46]  And it really exposed limitations in Jonas's game.
[00:57:49]  Jonas can't get the shot off when the going gets up.
[00:57:52]  You look in that fourth quarter, you saw playoff basketball.
[00:57:55]  You saw the real alphas going for it.
[00:57:57]  And it was cool to see people's role.
[00:57:59]  And this is what I wanted to celebrate Kyle Lowry for.
[00:58:02]  He's not worth the money he gets paid.
[00:58:04]  But that's a guy that you want on a championship team because his contribution is everything.
[00:58:09]  He just can't be your number one guy.
[00:58:10]  He can't be your alpha.
[00:58:11]  He can't be your Chris Paul.
[00:58:13]  He has to be your number three.
[00:58:14]  But he will do the dirty work.
[00:58:15]  He's a star player that will do the dirty work.
[00:58:17]  And he'll handle the situation.
[00:58:19]  The second he didn't have to be your number one or number two.
[00:58:22]  Yeah.
[00:58:22]  They won a championship.
[00:58:24]  Right?
[00:58:24]  He is a perfect number three.
[00:58:25]  Yeah.
[00:58:26]  Because he's going to take the charges.
[00:58:27]  He's going to organize the team.
[00:58:28]  Set the tone.
[00:58:29]  Set the tone.
[00:58:29]  He's going to hit some big shots, maybe play good defense, but he doesn't want to be the one to have to take the shot.
[00:58:34]  Yeah.
[00:58:34]  Which is fine.
[00:58:36]  Did you guys see James Harden just recoil into his beta-ness?
[00:58:41]  Buddy?
[00:58:41]  Wow.
[00:58:42]  Did you see the biggest quarter?
[00:58:44]  I think that was the biggest.
[00:58:45]  Throughout the game, he wasn't really playing that well.
[00:58:48]  Two times.
[00:58:49]  He had a layup.
[00:58:51]  Yes.
[00:58:52]  And he passed off.
[00:58:53]  I forgot about that, yeah.
[00:58:54]  To win the game.
[00:58:55]  To win the game.
[00:58:57]  He passed off.
[00:58:58]  Now, this is what I was talking about.
[00:59:00]  It exposed that fourth quarter, exposed the players for who they were.
[00:59:03]  And I was really surprised that Jimmy Butler didn't get any burn in that fourth.
[00:59:06]  I have theory.
[00:59:07]  I have an interesting thing I want to run by you.
[00:59:09]  Okay.
[00:59:09]  And I want to hear it.
[00:59:10]  Yeah.
[00:59:10]  So it's like, because Jimmy Butler would have been that dog that the East needed, but the West, when you look at it, James Harden, who's supposed to be the consummate alpha, he takes all these shots on the Houston Rockets, right?
[00:59:21]  But where was he?
[00:59:22]  When the actual going got tough and the buttholes got small, just like in the playoffs for James Harden, nowhere to be found.
[00:59:30]  Pass that fucking ball if he could.
[00:59:31]  Passing it up.
[00:59:32]  You know where Russ was in that fourth quarter?
[00:59:34]  Bench.
[00:59:35]  Exactly where the fuck he's supposed to be when the Alphas, when the real Alpha Dogs are playing.
[00:59:39]  Rough allowed one, but he don't belong in a game in the fourth quarter.
[00:59:43]  He could throw that fucking game for you.
[00:59:44]  Right?
[00:59:45]  This game definitely missed KD on the East.
[00:59:47]  That would have been a very different situation.
[00:59:50]  Imagine that.
[00:59:51]  Oh, that would have been good.
[00:59:52]  Right?
[00:59:53]  Who else?
[00:59:54]  There was another person.
[00:59:54]  And then CP3.
[00:59:56]  CP3 was hooping.
[00:59:57]  CP3 hoops, dog.
[00:59:58]  He caught that dunk.
[01:00:00]  Turned back the clock with that dunk.
[01:00:01]  That's an interesting game.
[01:00:02]  You realize all-star games are great for CP3.
[01:00:06]  Ben Simmons had a great game.
[01:00:08]  Like, playing, he had a kid, just straight jumped in the air and stole a Joel Embiid pass clean and then had a dish for an easy layup or something like that.
[01:00:17]  Those players shine in this.
[01:00:18]  The guys were a great pass.
[01:00:19]  One more observation.
[01:00:20]  Joellen Biad.
[01:00:23]  By the way, I said East-West.
[01:00:24]  I wasn't meaning East-West.
[01:00:25]  You know what I'm saying?
[01:00:25]  Janice LeBron.
[01:00:26]  Johnny LeBron.
[01:00:27]  But Joellen Biede did exactly what he always does, which is he does.
[01:00:35]  I don't want to say the word mental midget, but he doesn't have the focus, right?
[01:00:42]  He'll score once, turn the ball over two possessions in a row.
[01:00:46]  Interesting.
[01:00:48]  He doesn't, he can't lock in for the whole entirety.
[01:00:52]  You know what Kawhi can do?
[01:00:53]  Lock in for a season, a series.
[01:00:56]  What could Kobe do?
[01:00:57]  Lock in.
[01:00:58]  What does LeBron always talk about?
[01:00:59]  Zero Dark 30 or whatever that fucking thing is he goes into?
[01:01:02]  Locked in.
[01:01:04]  So you got, it was such a cool fucking all-star game because when you see the elites compete, you actually see where they stand against each other.
[01:01:13]  And a guy like Lowry, who's probably one of the most on a normal day, overrated players in the league, when you see him amongst just the elites, you're like, whoa, whoa, he deserves to be here.
[01:01:24]  This guy, this guy will do it.

=== Kawhi Lock In Performance (02:33) ===

[01:01:25]  He surprised me.
[01:01:26]  Kawhi, I was just like, I thought he was just going for that MVP from the start.
[01:01:30]  You thought he wanted it.
[01:01:31]  He came out with like seven out of 10 threes.
[01:01:34]  Jesus said in his first eight.
[01:01:35]  Yeah, like that was locked in.
[01:01:37]  Crazy.
[01:01:38]  Yeah, He Kobe did.
[01:01:40]  I really think Kobe played into it.
[01:01:41]  Yeah.
[01:01:43]  Kobe's definitely going to be a part of it.
[01:01:44]  But I also think the new design of the game is going to influence the competitiveness.
[01:01:49]  Oh, so none of you saw it live.
[01:01:51]  Nope.
[01:01:51]  Just recap.
[01:01:53]  I saw a person named Jennifer Hudson.
[01:01:54]  She like sung some shit before the game.
[01:01:56]  Chakra Khan.
[01:01:57]  No, no.
[01:01:58]  Jennifer Hudson also sung another, like just a tribute song to Kobe.
[01:02:01]  Yo, that shit.
[01:02:02]  No, no, no.
[01:02:04]  That was moving.
[01:02:04]  Dude, I couldn't watch the Kobe tributes.
[01:02:07]  I don't know if I'm the only person that's just like, I can't wrap my mind around the idea that he's dead.
[01:02:13]  I was never a Kobe fan, but he always seemed so invincible to me.
[01:02:16]  Yeah.
[01:02:16]  That I can't, like, every time that came up, I was like, I said to my girl yesterday, I was like, I can't fucking believe this guy's gone.
[01:02:23]  I never saw this for Kobe.
[01:02:25]  Yeah.
[01:02:25]  Didn't see it for Mike, but if it happened for Mike, I'd be like, yeah, I mean, the guy's drinking himself to death like two or three separate times.
[01:02:30]  I had to go to the bathroom because it was a sandstorm in the house.
[01:02:34]  He didn't get me in Samstorm in the house.
[01:02:36]  There's like, I got Santa My eyes in water, and I'm crying.
[01:02:38]  I didn't know Sam makes you cry.
[01:02:41]  I thought you were saying her voice was scratchy.
[01:02:43]  Oh, no.
[01:02:44]  I got some shit in my eyes.
[01:02:46]  Oh, I got some in my eyes.
[01:02:47]  Oh, yeah.
[01:02:47]  Or someone's cutting onions.
[01:02:48]  I found that one.
[01:02:49]  I was like, how do you get San in the house?
[01:02:51]  I had no fucking clue.
[01:02:53]  I saw that, and I thought you were saying it was bad.
[01:02:55]  And I almost texted you and said, that's not Jennifer Hudson.
[01:02:58]  That's Shaka Khan.
[01:03:01]  I truly thought you didn't know.
[01:03:02]  Her shit was trash.
[01:03:03]  I don't know what the fuck she was saying.
[01:03:04]  And where was the energy kept?
[01:03:06]  Twitter.
[01:03:07]  Because when Fergie fucking up the national anthem, then all of a sudden everybody laughing and shit.
[01:03:11]  Nah, but Shaka Khan is known for that.
[01:03:13]  Shit, Shaw Khan ain't sing my London Bridge is falling down to down to down.
[01:03:18]  Known for what?
[01:03:19]  What else if Fergie's like riffing in that way?
[01:03:21]  That's her style of singing.
[01:03:22]  Definitely.
[01:03:23]  So it's like she did.
[01:03:24]  She did her style.
[01:03:25]  She just didn't release it.
[01:03:26]  If it fell flat, then you found her.
[01:03:29]  That's what you do.
[01:03:30]  I found you because it fell flat.
[01:03:31]  But Fergie tried some new shit.
[01:03:34]  So does Shaka Khan.
[01:03:35]  No, she didn't.
[01:03:35]  That's her style.
[01:03:36]  That's how she sings the anthem every time.
[01:03:38]  That's how she sings, period.
[01:03:39]  She riffed.
[01:03:40]  You riffed.
[01:03:41]  We riff all the time.
[01:03:42]  No, but even I'm trying new shit.
[01:03:44]  That's a definition of riffing.
[01:03:45]  I'm coming up with shit on the spot.
[01:03:47]  No, but her style of singing is riffing.
[01:03:49]  Like, even her regular songs, it's like she just riffs and goes on these long, like, like that type of weird shit.
[01:03:55]  Fergie just tried some new shit for the first time.
[01:03:57]  Even her style is what he's saying.

=== Jennifer Hudson Riffing Style (15:46) ===

[01:03:59]  Yeah, yeah, man.
[01:03:59]  They'll make a difference.
[01:04:00]  There's a thing that what is it called?
[01:04:06]  Run.
[01:04:07]  Runs.
[01:04:07]  Yeah.
[01:04:08]  Run.
[01:04:08]  Yeah.
[01:04:09]  Not a riff.
[01:04:10]  Yes.
[01:04:10]  A run, going on these runs.
[01:04:12]  So she's known for that.
[01:04:14]  That's her style.
[01:04:14]  So it's like, all right, she's just doing her weirdo style.
[01:04:16]  But if you're not, Fergie tried some new shit and that failed.
[01:04:19]  They both failed.
[01:04:20]  Super flat.
[01:04:21]  They both failed.
[01:04:22]  Fergie killed.
[01:04:22]  That shit's one of the greatest national anthems ever.
[01:04:27]  We watched that live, and Andrew and I were both like, what the fuck is going on right now?
[01:04:31]  Does anybody else notice how bad this is?
[01:04:33]  I was saying that.
[01:04:34]  Yeah.
[01:04:34]  I thought I was grew into that.
[01:04:36]  Nah, you were the first one.
[01:04:37]  Your immediate thing was the, she should have taken a knee or whatever.
[01:04:40]  Like, oh, yeah, I want to tell you, I'd give a knee to this next game.
[01:04:44]  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
[01:04:44]  Fergie sounded like Andrew's girl in the bathroom.
[01:04:51]  That story still wild.
[01:04:54]  This is life.
[01:04:55]  Okay, so theory.
[01:04:56]  Yeah.
[01:04:57]  Yeah, what is your Butler theory?
[01:04:58]  So here, not Jimmy Butler as much, but I noticed the whole time I'm watching the game, watching the fourth quarter.
[01:05:02]  I don't know what happens.
[01:05:03]  I somehow caught the fourth on replay, didn't know, didn't have it spoiled.
[01:05:06]  And I'm like, why isn't Trey Young in the game?
[01:05:08]  I saw the third, Trey Young is splashing.
[01:05:10]  Rookies.
[01:05:12]  Rookies don't get no more.
[01:05:13]  No substitutions except for one on the east.
[01:05:15]  Kemble Walker did not play well in the fourth, at least.
[01:05:17]  He didn't make anything.
[01:05:19]  Still.
[01:05:20]  No substitutions except Pascal came in with like six, seven minutes left.
[01:05:24]  Who stayed out on the fourth?
[01:05:25]  Kemba Walker plays for the Celtics.
[01:05:27]  Joel Embiid plays for the Sixers.
[01:05:29]  Yep.
[01:05:29]  Ben Simmons plays for the Sixers.
[01:05:31]  Yep.
[01:05:32]  I can't think of the other two, but I'm pretty sure playoff contenders.
[01:05:36]  Who's the coach of the East?
[01:05:38]  Nick Nurse.
[01:05:39]  Nick Nurse coaching a championship contention team.
[01:05:42]  So is he like, I'm just going to leave them out there, wear them out a little bit.
[01:05:45]  Giannis played the whole fourth quarter.
[01:05:48]  I'm not putting my guy in there until there's about five minutes left.
[01:05:51]  Pascal would have been helpful.
[01:05:52]  Trey Young would have won.
[01:05:53]  You mean he's trying to injure the players?
[01:05:54]  Not injure him.
[01:05:55]  Just put a little extra miles on him.
[01:05:56]  Put some extra miles on him.
[01:05:58]  Why would I burn my guy out?
[01:06:00]  Why would I burn Trey Young out?
[01:06:01]  He's not a threat to me.
[01:06:02]  I would think you have a point if it was like a seven-game series.
[01:06:05]  But it's in this one game and nobody really plays anything for the they're playing one quarter of basketball.
[01:06:10]  I just can't see why you're making no substitutions.
[01:06:13]  I can see why Frank Vogel makes no substitutions because Braun says, hey, nobody's subbing out.
[01:06:17]  Yeah, no, Braun decided what the team was playing.
[01:06:19]  Nurse, my understanding is that the rookies just don't get played.
[01:06:24]  And like, that's why Luca wasn't in the game at the end of the game for Braun's team, right?
[01:06:28]  Luca also, I'm rooting for Luca.
[01:06:30]  He didn't have a great, like, he's missing open threes, whatever.
[01:06:33]  Yeah.
[01:06:33]  He's not like, he's not flossing like that.
[01:06:35]  Yeah, he looked a little nervous out there.
[01:06:36]  Yeah, he probably was.
[01:06:38]  It's comfy down there in Dallas where everybody loves you and you're the star.
[01:06:40]  Yeah.
[01:06:41]  But he normally, he normally shines.
[01:06:43]  Nobody knows who the fuck you are.
[01:06:45]  Usually he could step up.
[01:06:46]  Usually he steps up in Nasty televised games.
[01:06:48]  That's a thing.
[01:06:49]  Right.
[01:06:50]  But you still playing with your team.
[01:06:52]  Like, it's a difference when you're performing at your club or like your home comedy club and then you go to another comedy club.
[01:06:58]  You know, there's a different confidence level, etc.
[01:07:00]  When he's playing on Dallas Maverick's team, which is built around him doing whatever the fuck he wants with the rock, that's different than when you go play with your idols and they're literally like, don't go stand there in the corner.
[01:07:10]  I think the level of competition, everybody, he can play well against the Lakers in LA, even, but it's just LeBron and AD and then whoever the fuck else they got.
[01:07:18]  This is LeBron and AD and Chris Paul and Russell Westbrook and James Harden.
[01:07:24]  And you know what I mean?
[01:07:25]  This is like, oh shit.
[01:07:26]  Kind of like what you said.
[01:07:27]  I'm the young buck amongst MVPs.
[01:07:30]  And it makes you feel insecure.
[01:07:32]  Yeah.
[01:07:32]  You know, it's like literally, you're around your comedic idols.
[01:07:35]  You're going to start to crack some jokes to the table.
[01:07:38]  If rookies got played, I'm asking you.
[01:07:39]  No, no, no, no.
[01:07:40]  So you, so pick my spots.
[01:07:42]  If you're around your basketball idols, you're not going to be trying to put the ball between people's legs, that kind of shit like that.
[01:07:49]  You're not going to be trying to mix people up.
[01:07:51]  You're going to take your open shots.
[01:07:53]  And that's the fuck it.
[01:07:55]  Yeah.
[01:07:55]  And also, he's Euro, man.
[01:07:56]  They have like a different respect for authority.
[01:07:58]  It's like the first thing, this is classic American shit.
[01:08:01]  The first thing Trey Young does when he gets the ball, what he do?
[01:08:03]  Shoot a three.
[01:08:04]  No.
[01:08:05]  Puts it between Harden's legs.
[01:08:07]  Oh, that show is nice.
[01:08:09]  The first thing, second-year player, Trey Young, who's barely won 10 fucking games this season, if they have, have they?
[01:08:17]  The first thing he does is goes to disrespect arguably the best offensive player ever, some might say.
[01:08:26]  Right?
[01:08:26]  Yeah.
[01:08:26]  That's classic American basketball player.
[01:08:29]  I don't give a fuck about nobody but me, and I'm going to go get mine, and there's going to be no respect.
[01:08:33]  I fuck with that shit, though.
[01:08:34]  And that's fair.
[01:08:35]  Americans love it.
[01:08:36]  Americans love it.
[01:08:36]  Hey, let's take down the, you know, whoever Goliath is.
[01:08:39]  We're David.
[01:08:40]  Let's take down the Davis.
[01:08:41]  We love it.
[01:08:42]  We're all about it.
[01:08:42]  But Euros are not like that.
[01:08:44]  Euros are, hey, this is a community.
[01:08:46]  Let's respect.
[01:08:47]  Yeah, let's take care of each other.
[01:08:49]  Let's help out our elders.
[01:08:51]  And if Luca is with fucking LeBron and CP3 and all these people, and they say, hey, pass the rock, he hears that.
[01:08:58]  Here you go.
[01:08:59]  Yeah.
[01:08:59]  That's my theory.
[01:09:00]  No, I don't.
[01:09:01]  Yeah.
[01:09:01]  I think he could have gotten a little more burned and worked out the nerves, but he was definitely nervous.
[01:09:05]  Yeah.
[01:09:06]  Definitely nervous.
[01:09:06]  Also, Chris Middleton's teeth.
[01:09:08]  I mean, does he just ever even fix these?
[01:09:09]  You got to max out it.
[01:09:10]  He got teeth like a fucking 90s rapper.
[01:09:12]  Like, it's just.
[01:09:14]  I mean, it's just a little bit of a tough.
[01:09:15]  Can you look those up, please, Eddie?
[01:09:18]  He's just never going to fix them.
[01:09:20]  That bad?
[01:09:21]  I mean, they're pretty bad for a multi-millionaire hundred million dollar contract.
[01:09:27]  Oh, yeah, Look at that.
[01:09:29]  That's it.
[01:09:30]  The presser picture.
[01:09:31]  Yeah.
[01:09:31]  Right there.
[01:09:32]  I see.
[01:09:33]  Go to the next one over.
[01:09:35]  Yeah, he's got teeth like the it clown.
[01:09:38]  Yeah, No, they're crazy.
[01:09:41]  But I kind of admire that, dude.
[01:09:42]  Like, he's probably doing that Anthony Davis shit.
[01:09:44]  Like, where it's, I'm going to lean into my dude.
[01:09:46]  Anthony Davis is so fucking good, man.
[01:09:48]  I forgot how good he is.
[01:09:50]  He balled out.
[01:09:50]  He's so smooth for someone that size.
[01:09:52]  He balled out, son.
[01:09:53]  I couldn't.
[01:09:54]  I was just like, oh, I forgot.
[01:09:56]  The whole time I've been sleeping on the Lakers, I forgot how fucking good AD is.
[01:10:00]  Yeah.
[01:10:01]  Because you just think LeBron, LeBron, LeBron.
[01:10:02]  AD, I mean, seven feet, just silk.
[01:10:06]  Yeah.
[01:10:06]  He's legit.
[01:10:07]  Did you hear what he said about how he missed the free throw on purpose?
[01:10:09]  Yeah.
[01:10:10]  Do you believe that or not?
[01:10:11]  No.
[01:10:11]  So for those of you guys who didn't watch, at the end of the game, the game was actually won by a free throw, which I know I think that they will, I think they will change.
[01:10:18]  I don't think you should be able to win the game on a free throw.
[01:10:21]  I think it should be like, you know, in game.
[01:10:23]  Win by four.
[01:10:25]  Ooh, that's interesting.
[01:10:26]  I was thinking just you have to win on a field goal.
[01:10:30]  So you can shoot free throws and they just get you till one point before you have to go.
[01:10:37]  So if the game is to 127 points and you get fouled on a three and you got 125, you just get up to 126 no matter how many times you hit it.
[01:10:45]  Because what happened was they were down two.
[01:10:46]  They were down one.
[01:10:47]  He gets fouled and misses the first one and then hits the second one.
[01:10:52]  Game is over.
[01:10:52]  But it's a little anticlimactic.
[01:10:54]  You want to see the game ended on a fucking last second shot.
[01:10:57]  And not last second shot, but a finishing shot.
[01:10:59]  Like I'm going to go at your fucking throat.
[01:11:02]  But he said that he missed the first one on purpose to hype it.
[01:11:05]  I don't believe him, but I love that it happened.
[01:11:09]  Yeah.
[01:11:10]  It's like everything about this, it almost feels like this whole weekend, an all-star weekend, was phenomenal.
[01:11:16]  It was a pretty good all-season.
[01:11:17]  The dunk contest was fuck.
[01:11:19]  I watched the highlights.
[01:11:20]  Dog, this was maybe the greatest ever.
[01:11:23]  Yo, did he get robbed?
[01:11:24]  He got robbed, yo.
[01:11:25]  He got robbed, but I think the judges fucked up.
[01:11:27]  They were trying to finish it in a tie.
[01:11:31]  So they could have another dunk off.
[01:11:32]  And they just did the wrong math.
[01:11:33]  How black.
[01:11:34]  Well, I heard a little rumor.
[01:11:37]  Dwayne Wade?
[01:11:38]  I heard a little bird, a little bird on the streets said that one of them said, one of the judges said that they were all in agreement.
[01:11:48]  Yeah.
[01:11:49]  Right?
[01:11:49]  All the judges were in agreement.
[01:11:50]  Hey, we're going to just give it a 50 and everybody's going to tie.
[01:11:53]  No, not 50.
[01:11:54]  48 would have tied, and he got 47.
[01:11:56]  Something like that.
[01:11:57]  Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[01:11:57]  48 would have tied.
[01:11:58]  That's right.
[01:11:58]  That's right.
[01:11:59]  And they knew what they were going to give, so there would be another tie.
[01:12:04]  And apparently Wade gave another nine.
[01:12:08]  He was supposed to give 10.
[01:12:09]  Yeah.
[01:12:10]  And some people are saying, you know, Derek Jones Jr. in place for the Heat.
[01:12:15]  That's Dwayne Wade's old team.
[01:12:17]  That's his boy.
[01:12:19]  Yeah.
[01:12:20]  And, you know, maybe he kind of like a little took care of his boy, in other words.
[01:12:25]  Maybe he might have lied in the huddle and said that he was going to give the 10.
[01:12:30]  That's the rumor.
[01:12:30]  And then switched at the last second.
[01:12:32]  Apparently, there's like video.
[01:12:32]  If you look at the video, he like switches it at the last second.
[01:12:35]  Oh.
[01:12:36]  And yo, which is foul.
[01:12:39]  I thought they just foul, yo.
[01:12:40]  That's wrong rushing at like that.
[01:12:42]  So that could be the case.
[01:12:43]  You know what I mean?
[01:12:44]  But a conspiracy is always more fun.
[01:12:46]  And that's foul because like Aaron Gordon is never going to win anything in the league.
[01:12:50]  I know.
[01:12:51]  You know what I mean?
[01:12:52]  Like this is what he could, his legacy could have been.
[01:12:54]  Now he can't even have a legacy as a great dunker.
[01:12:57]  He could.
[01:12:58]  I was thinking about this the whole time I watched the highlights.
[01:13:00]  Could he go down as a guy that got robbed twice and we are like, yo, this is the best dunker ever that should have won two and didn't.
[01:13:07]  Sud, Dominique still got.
[01:13:09]  I mean, how many did Dominique win?
[01:13:11]  Dominique's epic showdown with Jordan, he lost.
[01:13:14]  He had another epic showdown with Spud Webb, he lost.
[01:13:16]  And they said he got robbed with the woman with Jordan.
[01:13:19]  Jordan Dunk from the free throw line to seal it, though, which I can get.
[01:13:23]  I thought Derek Jones' dunks were great, but four out of five of them somewhere through the legs.
[01:13:27]  It's all through the leg, through the leg, through the legs.
[01:13:29]  Aaron Gordon, that shit where he threw off the side of the bat.
[01:13:31]  Oh, my fucking goodness.
[01:13:33]  And he did that whole circle.
[01:13:35]  Yeah, that shit was dope.
[01:13:36]  It's one of the greatest dunks I've ever seen.
[01:13:38]  You know what I thought could have gotten him an undeniable 50 if he did the pageantry more of dunking over Taco Fall?
[01:13:44]  We think about what's the greatest in-game dunk we've ever seen.
[01:13:47]  It's not even an NBA game.
[01:13:48]  It's Vince Young dunking over that seven-foot Aussie.
[01:13:52]  So he put on Vince Young's Olympics jersey, brings out Taco Fall.
[01:13:56]  Yeah, but that's all hindsight.
[01:13:57]  That wasn't a planned dunk.
[01:13:59]  That was just he had to think of a dunk on the spot because it went to our dunk.
[01:14:03]  You're right.
[01:14:04]  You're right.
[01:14:04]  Because all the planned dunks, he had a little showboating shit for it.
[01:14:08]  That's why he was like, nah, I'm done.
[01:14:09]  I'm done.
[01:14:10]  I'm done.
[01:14:10]  I'm not dunking anymore because he couldn't think of anything else to do.
[01:14:13]  Yo, I'm not going to lie.
[01:14:14]  I'm low-key.
[01:14:17]  Not as impressed with the jumping over shit.
[01:14:20]  I am.
[01:14:21]  I'll tell you why.
[01:14:21]  Jump over Taco.
[01:14:23]  Generally, I agree.
[01:14:24]  I'll tell you why.
[01:14:24]  Generally, I agree.
[01:14:25]  I'll tell you why.
[01:14:30]  I don't think you're jumping over.
[01:14:32]  I think what happens is the person holds the ball and you jump up and grab the ball and then you use that ball to push yourself up further.
[01:14:41]  It's like me and my boys, when we were younger, younger, we could dunk before we dunked, but because two guys would just be underneath us and we would go jump to dunk.
[01:14:50]  And then as we jumped in the air, they would push us up a little bit.
[01:14:53]  And you barely need to push your friend at all to get them higher.
[01:14:56]  It's like spotting on the weight.
[01:14:57]  Yes.
[01:14:58]  So that's a perfect example.
[01:14:59]  Thank you.
[01:15:00]  So essentially, the guy who's holding the ball, Taco, is kind of spotting your weight.
[01:15:06]  So you can jump way higher when you weigh way less.
[01:15:09]  You would see that in the slow-mo.
[01:15:11]  So you see it if you look at the slow-mo.
[01:15:12]  Watch the slow-mo.
[01:15:13]  Because this is what we're doing.
[01:15:14]  You can see in the slow-mo that he hits his head because he doesn't clear him all the way.
[01:15:19]  You don't see him go further up.
[01:15:21]  You actually see him start to go down because he didn't clear.
[01:15:23]  Sure.
[01:15:24]  The one thing I was wondering is, is that why?
[01:15:27]  And I was trying to figure out, why didn't he just dribble and carry the ball and dunk over Taco?
[01:15:31]  Why is he having Taco hold it and then grabbing it?
[01:15:34]  And I didn't know.
[01:15:34]  I was wondering, is that to add to the degree of difficulty?
[01:15:37]  Is that because it makes it a little easier for him?
[01:15:39]  Is that because it makes it a little harder for him?
[01:15:41]  I don't know.
[01:15:41]  But either way, the guy's 7'5.
[01:15:43]  Even if normally they spread their legs or do some shit, like 7'5 is 7'5.
[01:15:47]  He's fucking crazy.
[01:15:49]  I think it makes it a little bit easier for him to get up without the ball.
[01:15:53]  Anytime you dunk without a ball, it's easier.
[01:15:55]  Yeah.
[01:15:56]  But I also think that it helps you push up.
[01:15:58]  You use it kind of like a thing.
[01:16:01]  What's up?
[01:16:01]  You got the video?
[01:16:03]  I would love to hear y'all talk about it.
[01:16:04]  All right, let me see.
[01:16:05]  So we're looking at this YouTube, though.
[01:16:09]  We're not showing it on those.
[01:16:10]  Okay, good.
[01:16:10]  So we're going to watch it right now live.
[01:16:12]  So notice the way that Taco's holding it, right?
[01:16:14]  Yeah.
[01:16:14]  Holding on the back of his head.
[01:16:15]  He specifically positions it on the back of his neck, but above his kind of like shoulders, and his head is pushed forward.
[01:16:24]  So the ball could kind of rest there without his hands, if need be.
[01:16:29]  Okay, I see.
[01:16:29]  I see.
[01:16:30]  See what I'm saying?
[01:16:31]  But I think it's just like.
[01:16:33]  Oh, man, he's dark.
[01:16:35]  He gets the ball.
[01:16:35]  That's clear.
[01:16:36]  Why don't you just put it right over your head if you're jumping over his head?
[01:16:38]  Because then his crotch has to get even above the ball.
[01:16:41]  Watch.
[01:16:42]  Press by.
[01:16:42]  Look, look, look.
[01:16:43]  Here it is.
[01:16:46]  You see him push down?
[01:16:48]  Watch.
[01:16:50]  Watch Taco's head go down when he grabs the ball first.
[01:16:53]  You see it?
[01:16:54]  See, I thought his head goes down because his ass hits him.
[01:16:56]  And his ass does hit him.
[01:16:58]  But I'm going to go ahead and get a little bit wider.
[01:17:02]  I think it's just because Taco's that tall.
[01:17:04]  Look at his head go down the first.
[01:17:06]  You see?
[01:17:06]  Yeah.
[01:17:06]  The first.
[01:17:08]  I do see it.
[01:17:08]  And now all you need.
[01:17:09]  All the other people, they're just taking the ball and jumping right over.
[01:17:13]  But he's so tall.
[01:17:13]  Now, watch this.
[01:17:14]  So you see how he pushed forward?
[01:17:17]  Yeah.
[01:17:18]  Now, all you need to jump higher in any kind of situation or get any leverage is the slightest bit of body weight that you're not carrying.
[01:17:26]  You know what I mean?
[01:17:27]  Like if you want to jump over a fence, right?
[01:17:30]  You just put your hand on it and all of a sudden you jump right over that fucking fence.
[01:17:33]  So that's how much higher you get.
[01:17:34]  That's why I'm not as impressed by these dunks.
[01:17:38]  There were so many of those.
[01:17:40]  Of all of them, this one was the one where I was like, yo, fucking 7'5.
[01:17:45]  Yeah, it's a lot.
[01:17:45]  It's tall.
[01:17:46]  Holy shit.
[01:17:47]  That's tall.
[01:17:47]  And I thought it was better than James Jones' or Derek Jones' dunk, period.
[01:17:50]  Yeah.
[01:17:51]  You just give him like meritocracy.
[01:17:53]  You just score the fucking thing.
[01:17:55]  I would love to see another dunk, sure, but like, not at the expense of the wrong guy winning.
[01:17:59]  Yeah.
[01:18:00]  Yeah, no, I hear you.
[01:18:02]  Three-point contest was good.
[01:18:04]  Yeah.
[01:18:05]  Look at what he healed.
[01:18:06]  Yo, Drew.
[01:18:07]  Drew, you got to get in the celebrity basketball game, son.
[01:18:10]  Son, I'd be like, you got to represent, son.
[01:18:12]  There's a bunch of bums out there.
[01:18:14]  Yeah, and that game's getting worse and worse.
[01:18:15]  Yeah, it is.
[01:18:16]  It used to be good.
[01:18:17]  Like, it used to be actually kind of fun.
[01:18:18]  Because one, it used to be actually people who balled.
[01:18:21]  Like, you would have like Bieber in there, like, people who actually balled a little bit.
[01:18:25]  Remember how Tremberlight crossed over Kenny?
[01:18:27]  And I'm not, I'm the biggest JT hater on earth, but that's the funniest moment because Kenny took shit for that for years.
[01:18:35]  Years.
[01:18:36]  JT hit him with a cross, and Kenny got got.
[01:18:39]  And I think he hit a jumper over him or something after that.
[01:18:42]  But like, Kenny took shit for years.
[01:18:44]  He sit him down with it or no?
[01:18:45]  He didn't sit him down, but Kenny just got got.
[01:18:46]  He didn't sit him down, right?
[01:18:47]  You remember that, Haney?
[01:18:49]  Haney's hanging out.
[01:18:50]  He didn't sit Kenny down, right?
[01:18:51]  No, he didn't sit down.
[01:18:52]  Kenny just got caught reaching or whatever, got caught up, and he just got passed by.
[01:18:56]  You probably find the highlights somewhere, but hilarious.
[01:18:58]  That was great, dude.
[01:19:01]  And then it wasn't.
[01:19:02]  Oh, here it is.
[01:19:04]  Okay.
[01:19:06]  Okay.
[01:19:07]  He hits a J right in his face.
[01:19:08]  Okay, JT with the bleach.
[01:19:11]  And then he comes talking shit to Kenny.
[01:19:15]  Dude, look at the junkyard dog behind him, dude.
[01:19:17]  That guy was so ugly.
[01:19:18]  What was that name for?
[01:19:19]  He got them Chris Milton teeth.
[01:19:20]  Oh, there was no cross.
[01:19:21]  Wasn't that a cross?
[01:19:23]  He just hit a little shit in the corner.
[01:19:24]  Yeah, I completely misremembered.
[01:19:25]  All right, fuck me.
[01:19:26]  I made up a whole memory.
[01:19:27]  What about this right here?
[01:19:28]  What do we got?
[01:19:29]  Same angle.
[01:19:29]  I made up a whole memory, yo.
[01:19:31]  It was a nice jump off video.
[01:19:33]  Anyway, what else we got, Akash?
[01:19:37]  What else are we talking about?
[01:19:40]  The Ryan Garcia knockout.
[01:19:43]  Yeah.
[01:19:44]  Did you like that?

=== Wilder Fury Boxing Match (13:02) ===

[01:19:45]  Everybody's so excited about this.
[01:19:47]  Like, the kid's got power.
[01:19:50]  That's not the issue, right?
[01:19:53]  This is what happens with sports.
[01:19:54]  And I like Ryan Garcia.
[01:19:55]  I think he's great for the sport because he's a good-looking kid.
[01:19:58]  He's got crossover appeal.
[01:19:59]  Get women out there watching.
[01:20:01]  Like, same thing that Oscar De La Hoya did.
[01:20:04]  He understands new media.
[01:20:05]  He's on Instagram.
[01:20:07]  He is a great ambassador for the sport.
[01:20:10]  But what happens is when you get to the upper echelon of this sport, I'm talking about like the elite elite fighters, you're not going to get off a shot like that.
[01:20:18]  It's not that fighters can take a punch better at an elite level, and they can, but it's they're so good, you're not going to get off a huge hook like that.
[01:20:30]  Yeah.
[01:20:30]  Because if you go for something that's that open, now granted, he snuck it in there before Fonseca could hit him with the straight right.
[01:20:37]  But if you go for something like that, you're going to get caught.
[01:20:41]  The cost of missing on a shot like that is too high when you go to the elite elite guys.
[01:20:46]  And people go, oh, it took this fighter eight rounds to get Fonseca out of here.
[01:20:50]  He got him out in one.
[01:20:51]  That's what.
[01:20:52]  No, no.
[01:20:52]  Funseca didn't think the kid had power.
[01:20:54]  And then the kid ended up having power.
[01:20:56]  So now when motherfuckers go in there with Ryan, they're going to go, okay, he's got a hook.
[01:20:59]  Stay away from the hook.
[01:21:00]  Keep your right hand up.
[01:21:02]  Make sure you circle left.
[01:21:04]  Like, it's just different, especially at those lower weight classes, right?
[01:21:09]  Because what is he fighting at?
[01:21:10]  135 or something like that?
[01:21:12]  I think he's around 135.
[01:21:13]  It's like you can have power there, but it's not.
[01:21:16]  There's only been a few people who have like concussive game over power at that small weight.
[01:21:22]  Yeah.
[01:21:22]  It's very rare.
[01:21:23]  Right.
[01:21:25]  People were just talking about it because when he hit the ground, it looked like he was dead.
[01:21:29]  I mean, he collapsed.
[01:21:30]  Oh, yeah.
[01:21:30]  I mean, it was.
[01:21:32]  Yeah.
[01:21:33]  That was real.
[01:21:34]  That motherfucker got caught.
[01:21:35]  He did not want to be in that ring.
[01:21:36]  He didn't know where the fuck he was.
[01:21:38]  It was good.
[01:21:39]  But he'd be great for the sport.
[01:21:40]  My thing is don't you got to slowly inch him up.
[01:21:44]  Matter of fact, this was the worst thing for Ryan Garcia.
[01:21:47]  Because when you're going up against a ranked fighter like Fonseca and you knock him out in the first round on the first big shot that you throw at him, I think you have a little bit of a delusional confidence.
[01:21:57]  I would have liked to see him do six rounds with a really high-quality fighter so you could see what they're going to throw at you, see what kind of traps they're going to try to set for you.
[01:22:06]  Like if I'm in his camp, I'm going, oh, no, we don't take a big fight.
[01:22:09]  Take another good fight.
[01:22:11]  But this Devin Haney kid, I think, that they're trying to get him to fight, can crack.
[01:22:16]  He's a sharp kid.
[01:22:17]  It's a different boxing game is tricky, man.
[01:22:22]  It's a tricky motherfucking game.
[01:22:24]  We got a big fight coming this week.
[01:22:25]  Yeah, that's the fight I'm looking forward to.
[01:22:27]  Yo, Wilder Fury 2?
[01:22:28]  Son, Pittsburgh.
[01:22:29]  We out there this weekend doing shows, the improv.
[01:22:32]  I'm not sure if they're all sold out yet.
[01:22:34]  I know Saturday sold out.
[01:22:35]  Maybe Friday is too.
[01:22:36]  If not, go grab tickets.
[01:22:38]  But tell us where we're watching the fight after that second show.
[01:22:41]  Because right after the second show, we're going to watch the fight.
[01:22:45]  What are you guys thinking?
[01:22:48]  I want to say Fury.
[01:22:49]  I don't know boxing.
[01:22:50]  I want to say Fury.
[01:22:51]  Okay.
[01:22:52]  But Wilder catches everybody.
[01:22:53]  I want to say Fury knows better than to get caught again.
[01:22:56]  But Wilder catches everybody.
[01:22:57]  And if he catches you, it's a problem.
[01:23:00]  I don't know how the fuck Fury stood up the last time.
[01:23:02]  I don't know.
[01:23:03]  I do not know.
[01:23:04]  Al?
[01:23:06]  Kind of the same point.
[01:23:07]  Because I think first fight, Fury had it for the majority of the fight.
[01:23:13]  Absolutely, yeah.
[01:23:13]  Yeah, and then it's like, oh, he caught the first knockout, got back up, but then it was wrapped.
[01:23:18]  Once Wilder knows, oh, okay, I can put you down.
[01:23:20]  Now it's a wrap.
[01:23:21]  Wilder said this, and I thought it was really great.
[01:23:24]  He goes, You have to be perfect for the whole fight, all 12 rounds.
[01:23:31]  I have to be perfect for one second.
[01:23:33]  Yeah.
[01:23:34]  Yeah.
[01:23:36]  That's bars.
[01:23:37]  I mean, there's also this point.
[01:23:39]  Now, there's one thing I will say, information I'll give you guys before you decide to bet on this fight or even stick to that opinion that you guys had.
[01:23:48]  Fury apparently is coming into this fight like 20 pounds, 15 to 20 pounds heavier than he was last.
[01:23:56]  Now, his camp is claiming, oh, we're eating more.
[01:23:59]  We want to be stronger.
[01:24:01]  He doesn't trust the judges, so he's going in there to knock him out.
[01:24:04]  He's on a rock.
[01:24:05]  Now, there's one.
[01:24:06]  I didn't even think about that.
[01:24:08]  Is it muscle or fat?
[01:24:10]  For a big man to put on that much weight?
[01:24:12]  Well, his story is he came down.
[01:24:15]  Remember, he was 400 pounds or something like that.
[01:24:17]  He lost all that weight.
[01:24:20]  He lost like 150 pounds, something crazy, and then he was three years out of the ring, then lost all that weight.
[01:24:26]  His first fight back was Wilder, and then he got allegedly robbed for the title.
[01:24:29]  Oh, I thought when they say put on weight, I'm assuming muscle.
[01:24:33]  So here's the thing: he lost all that weight to get down, and then from his last fight, which around 255, he's coming in apparently around 270 now.
[01:24:40]  And then, so now people are going, did he not train that hard?
[01:24:44]  He's fired his last trainer.
[01:24:46]  So now they're like, oh, is he not taking it that seriously?
[01:24:50]  He has a history of that, right?
[01:24:51]  And then he has this history of kind of being gluttonous.
[01:24:54]  Yeah.
[01:24:55]  You know?
[01:24:56]  So now people are starting to get concerned because the most important thing for Fury is the cardio.
[01:25:02]  Yeah.
[01:25:02]  You got to be able to move constantly for 12 rounds.
[01:25:07]  You're not going to go in there and bang with Wilder.
[01:25:09]  But if you can move consistently for 12 rounds, head movement, get on your bicycle, as they say in boxing, which means like move your feet, actually kind of run around in the ring.
[01:25:18]  Don't let him.
[01:25:19]  Wilder was tired.
[01:25:21]  Wilder get tired?
[01:25:22]  He was tired.
[01:25:22]  He just lucky he caught one.
[01:25:26]  Do you think Fury's going to do all that showboating shit that he did in the first one?
[01:25:30]  I think that it's part of his most natural way of being in the ring.
[01:25:37]  So I think that you're going to see some of it.
[01:25:39]  But he respects Wilder's power.
[01:25:41]  He does respect the power.
[01:25:44]  Do you think in the first one he respected it?
[01:25:47]  I think so.
[01:25:48]  Because he was like, hit me, hit me.
[01:25:52]  I think he does that because he wants Wilder to be erratic so that he can counter it.
[01:25:57]  That's right.
[01:25:58]  It's like trying to get you out of your game, I would assume.
[01:25:59]  Yes.
[01:26:00]  And if you're a counterpuncher, which he is, you want the guy to throw big bombs at you because you're so confident you could get out of the way of a big bomb.
[01:26:08]  It's hard to get out of the way of like a quick little jab.
[01:26:10]  But a punch that's like loaded up and thrown.
[01:26:13]  But that's Wilder's punches.
[01:26:14]  That's the thing.
[01:26:15]  Like you're asking him to throw his best punches.
[01:26:19]  And he's confident, I guess, that he can get out of the way of them.
[01:26:21]  We'll see what happens, but I'm very excited.
[01:26:23]  I love, like, this is the beauty of heavyweight boxing.
[01:26:26]  And for so long, there wasn't someone with this kind of concussive power.
[01:26:28]  So the interest in it, excuse me, dissipated.
[01:26:32]  But watching heavyweight boxing is the same reason why people watch NASCAR.
[01:26:39]  Yeah.
[01:26:39]  Right?
[01:26:40]  Any point in time.
[01:26:42]  Someone could get got.
[01:26:43]  Somebody all over it.
[01:26:44]  Right?
[01:26:44]  So they're not watching it to see the motherfuckers go in circles.
[01:26:47]  They watching for that one moment.
[01:26:49]  About that Dale Earnhardt moment.
[01:26:50]  Boom.
[01:26:51]  Game over.
[01:26:53]  And when you had these heavyweights that had pillows for fists and they weren't really knocking guys out and the fights were just going long and it was kind of boring.
[01:27:00]  It was like, I don't care.
[01:27:01]  But when you got a guy like Wilder in there, it could be the most boring round, but you're glued to your seat because you're like, you don't want to miss it.
[01:27:07]  That's it.
[01:27:08]  It takes one second.
[01:27:10]  Like when Mandy Pacquiao was just going through people, remember that how exciting that was?
[01:27:13]  Yeah.
[01:27:14]  One shot.
[01:27:15]  Man, I saw him fuck up Codo that first time with you.
[01:27:17]  Oh, yeah.
[01:27:18]  Yo, this is so fun.
[01:27:19]  Yeah.
[01:27:20]  Dynamite.
[01:27:21]  Watching fucking yeah, firecrackers, man.
[01:27:23]  Dynamite.
[01:27:24]  We should try to contact the club.
[01:27:27]  Watch party.
[01:27:27]  I would love.
[01:27:28]  Just try to contact the club, be like, yo, you're going to get way more drink sales.
[01:27:34]  You're going to get way more everything.
[01:27:35]  Yo, I would.
[01:27:37]  Now, here's the tricky thing.
[01:27:38]  And I don't want to snitch on them.
[01:27:39]  But what happens is you have to pay when you order pay-per-view.
[01:27:45]  Oh, yeah.
[01:27:46]  It's a crazy amount.
[01:27:48]  Because you have to pay per occupancy.
[01:27:50]  Yeah.
[01:27:51]  You just steal that shit.
[01:27:53]  So when I manage the restaurant for a little bit, I just pulled it up in my laptop.
[01:27:56]  On your laptop and plugged it in.
[01:27:57]  That's the other thing I was thinking.
[01:27:58]  I was like, and now we snitch on ourselves, but fuck it.
[01:28:01]  Fuck it.
[01:28:01]  We tell the club, yo, when the fight comes on, regardless, I think we'll be done with the show by then.
[01:28:07]  I think it's earlier.
[01:28:09]  But we could just tell the people, yo, we'll put the fight from our computer.
[01:28:12]  I'll order it on my own ESPN Plus or whatever.
[01:28:15]  We'll put it, just do the drop-down screen because usually clubs have it.
[01:28:19]  Drop-down screen.
[01:28:20]  We watch it.
[01:28:21]  Everybody there, you keep serving drinks and we just have a fucking our own after party essentially.
[01:28:25]  That'd be fire.
[01:28:26]  That would be dope.
[01:28:27]  I don't know.
[01:28:28]  There's one other thing I thought of that you mentioned in Wilder's favor.
[01:28:32]  You said your dad told you when a guy has a granite chin, once he gets knocked, I don't know if it's knocked down or knocked out, the chin gets a little bit like shorter each time.
[01:28:40]  Yeah.
[01:28:41]  It's a little bit softer each time.
[01:28:43]  So if it got just a little bit softer, that might be enough for Fury to get got with that same exact punch I got him last time.
[01:28:49]  Yeah.
[01:28:50]  Out for the count.
[01:28:51]  It is a good point.
[01:28:53]  I mean, there's an amount of healing that you can go through with any kind of concussion where I think they say that it comes back, but it is, he got hit hard, man.
[01:29:00]  That takes a toll.
[01:29:01]  That takes a toll.
[01:29:03]  What's your projected result?
[01:29:06]  I think, and this is, listen, if anybody goes, Wilder, my knockout, I'm not going to fight you on that take.
[01:29:16]  Yeah.
[01:29:16]  Now I think he's proven you can't fight that take.
[01:29:20]  That's what he does.
[01:29:21]  He knocks you the fuck out.
[01:29:23]  I think Fury is going to be way more calculated.
[01:29:30]  It actually makes me go back to what Alex asked me earlier.
[01:29:32]  I think he's going to be way more safe.
[01:29:34]  I don't think he's going in there for the knockout.
[01:29:36]  I actually think he's going to be not as much like punch me in my chin unless he gets really confident.
[01:29:41]  I think he wants this win, and I think he's going to outbox him.
[01:29:43]  And I think all this, I'm coming in heavier so I could go knock him out.
[01:29:46]  I think all that shit is nonsense.
[01:29:48]  Why is he heavier, though?
[01:29:50]  He says that they have a team in there that is giving him this diet so that he can have power and all this other shit.
[01:29:58]  He is 6'9.
[01:30:00]  20 pounds on him doesn't look like much.
[01:30:02]  That's it.
[01:30:02]  So like 20 pounds on you is going to be what percentage of your weight?
[01:30:06]  Well, I guess an eighth.
[01:30:07]  An eighth of your weight of my weight, yeah.
[01:30:09]  Right?
[01:30:09]  More like a fourth.
[01:30:14]  So it's like 20 pounds on you is going to look crazy.
[01:30:17]  Yeah.
[01:30:18]  20 pounds on a guy who weighs 260.
[01:30:20]  And is 6'9.
[01:30:21]  And 6'9 is like it's still.
[01:30:24]  If it's 20-pound muscle or 20 pounds fat, it's a huge difference.
[01:30:28]  See what's the way in, I guess.
[01:30:29]  That's a huge difference.
[01:30:30]  I mean, we'll see.
[01:30:30]  We'll see how he looks.
[01:30:31]  I don't know.
[01:30:33]  I think if it's 20 pounds muscle, I might give it to Fury.
[01:30:38]  I thought you picked Fury already.
[01:30:39]  No, no, no.
[01:30:41]  I think Wilder with the knockout.
[01:30:43]  Yeah.
[01:30:44]  Next question I have following this up.
[01:30:47]  Winner fights Joshua, I assume.
[01:30:49]  And how does the winner do against Joshua?
[01:30:51]  No, Joshua's running.
[01:30:52]  Joshua's out, right?
[01:30:53]  He's running.
[01:30:54]  Joshua's out.
[01:30:55]  But who else is there to fight?
[01:30:56]  He just finds a new guy?
[01:30:57]  No, that's it.
[01:30:57]  He's the top of the heavyweight, and now somebody else got to come up and make a name for him.
[01:31:03]  I think Akash is right, though.
[01:31:04]  The winner would end up fighting Joshua because that's the only one that's left.
[01:31:08]  And Joshua now wants it because he got boxed out.
[01:31:10]  Yeah, because he's boxed out.
[01:31:11]  And he has no leverage whatsoever in the negotiation.
[01:31:13]  You take what they fucking give you.
[01:31:16]  That's very satisfying to see.
[01:31:17]  Oh, yeah.
[01:31:18]  And I think what happens is, I mean, it is kind of, there is something beautiful if Wilder knocks out Fury, then goes and fights Joshua, knocks out Joshua, and then that's it.
[01:31:31]  It's over.
[01:31:32]  You sit a little on the top.
[01:31:34]  Just so I can laugh at my English brother-in-law.
[01:31:36]  Right.
[01:31:37]  Just for that.
[01:31:38]  Like, how can you not move for Wilder?
[01:31:39]  Wilder's a dope heavyweight champ.
[01:31:41]  Like, he's relatable, too.
[01:31:43]  He's a 212-pounder.
[01:31:45]  Like, he's little.
[01:31:46]  Oh, I didn't know he's.
[01:31:47]  Yeah, he weighs 212 pounds.
[01:31:49]  They're trying to get him up to 220 for this fight.
[01:31:51]  Solid 212, bro.
[01:31:53]  That's a solid 210.
[01:31:54]  It also looks like a body.
[01:31:57]  Chiseled.
[01:31:58]  Chiseled.
[01:31:59]  He's, again, for regular people, he's a horse.
[01:32:04]  Yeah.
[01:32:05]  For heavyweight boxers, it's a different game.
[01:32:08]  So here's what I was thinking as you were talking.
[01:32:10]  I was thinking about who would fight, how they would fight Joshua.
[01:32:12]  One thing I remember you saying with Joshua's fight against Ruiz the first time, those big muscles get tired easily.
[01:32:18]  Yes.
[01:32:18]  Which kind of works out well for Wilder because he gets, he don't have crazy stamina.
[01:32:23]  But all I got to do is outlast Joshua enough for him to put his guard down and then I'm going to knock him out.
[01:32:27]  That's it.
[01:32:28]  I just need one punch.
[01:32:29]  That's it.
[01:32:29]  And it can be in the 12th round.
[01:32:31]  No matter how tired I am, I can get that punch off.
[01:32:33]  Joshua can't.
[01:32:34]  Yeah.
[01:32:35]  Fury could probably just outbox him because he would wear Joshua out.
[01:32:38]  I think they both beat Joshua, I think, based on what I think.
[01:32:40]  Yeah, I think you both easily beat Joshua.
[01:32:42]  I don't think Joshua beats.
[01:32:43]  I think Fury, if Fury knocks out, if Wilder knocks out Fury, he got a serious chance at knocking out Joshua too.

=== Joshua Ruiz Stamina Debate (08:06) ===

[01:32:48]  Oh, easy.
[01:32:48]  I think if Joshua comes to play, but he'll probably run like he did last time.
[01:32:51]  Yep.
[01:32:52]  Yo, let's take a break for a second and pay some bills.
[01:32:54]  And I want to get to this one because I need help sleeping.
[01:32:57]  And there's a product that you keep taking and not letting me try.
[01:33:00]  It's my bad.
[01:33:02]  Let him know.
[01:33:02]  That's my bad.
[01:33:03]  That's my bad.
[01:33:04]  Guys, Raddix Remedies, CBD Company, a flagrant too.
[01:33:09]  They got these melatonin CBD pills that are absolutely exceptional.
[01:33:13]  You have to be careful with them.
[01:33:14]  Okay.
[01:33:15]  You have to be careful with them.
[01:33:16]  Don't be sleeping too much on these fucking things.
[01:33:18]  Maybe if you had a long flight, I know you got shows on the West Coast.
[01:33:21]  I know you got a show in Vancouver.
[01:33:23]  I don't know where this is going in the episode, but maybe they already know that about this.
[01:33:27]  But simple as that.
[01:33:29]  If you guys are new to the podcast, Raddix Remedies, this is our CBD company.
[01:33:32]  If you are asshole Army, you par Flagrant 2.
[01:33:35]  This is the company that we use.
[01:33:37]  They have, which I think is my favorite part, the flower.
[01:33:40]  The flour is the joint.
[01:33:42]  They essentially have these pre-rolled joints.
[01:33:44]  They look exactly like weed.
[01:33:45]  They taste like weed.
[01:33:47]  And for Akash, they get him high like weed.
[01:33:49]  But I'm all in on this flower.
[01:33:51]  Knowing there's no THC, and I still feel high, it's like.
[01:33:55]  Honestly, I think they're sneaking THC in here somehow and they're finding a way to get away with it because Akash was high off his fucking ass.
[01:34:01]  Be honest.
[01:34:02]  Were you not high?
[01:34:03]  Yeah, I mean, I felt slowed down and nice.
[01:34:05]  That's what felt nice.
[01:34:07]  You're describing high, okay?
[01:34:08]  That's exactly what you're describing.
[01:34:10]  So if that's high, I wouldn't know because I've never been high.
[01:34:13]  But if that's high, I was high.
[01:34:14]  Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[01:34:15]  I don't know if I've ever done Coke, but I was really sped up when I had that white powder and I just breathed it in.
[01:34:19]  Everything was going real fast.
[01:34:21]  I was talking.
[01:34:21]  Crazy confidence.
[01:34:22]  It was amazing.
[01:34:23]  Yeah, yeah.
[01:34:24]  So, guys, Raddick's Remedies, R-A-D-I-X Remedies.com.
[01:34:30]  Okay.
[01:34:30]  Obviously, you know, our promo code is flagrant, as it always is.
[01:34:35]  They got these cool monthly subscription boxes.
[01:34:37]  There's one for $40.
[01:34:39]  You get five pre-roll packs, $40 a month.
[01:34:42]  They've got another one for $100 a month or $99.99 a month.
[01:34:46]  CBD Flower subscription box.
[01:34:48]  It's got everything.
[01:34:49]  They call it the Cannabis Connoisseurs Club.
[01:34:53]  But yeah, I mean, it's just, you'll get four eighths individually packaged with the box, each one being a different strain of CBD.
[01:35:02]  It's even better if you're a member because you're Cannabis Connoisseurs Club.
[01:35:04]  You get the flour heavily discounted from its original place, delivered the same time each month along with the Raddix papers to roll up with.
[01:35:12]  And, you know, just enjoy your CBD flower.
[01:35:14]  They've got tons of different stuff.
[01:35:15]  They've got this salve.
[01:35:17]  They've got the liquid itself.
[01:35:19]  They've got gummies.
[01:35:20]  They literally have everything.
[01:35:21]  Just go over there.
[01:35:22]  Check it out.
[01:35:23]  You find what's right for you.
[01:35:24]  You find what you enjoy the best.
[01:35:27]  Again, I just like the social aspect of that flower, smoking that weed.
[01:35:30]  Sometimes if I smoke weed, I'm done for the rest of the day, or I just start munching out.
[01:35:33]  It's just too much.
[01:35:34]  It consumes too much of my night.
[01:35:36]  This is nice.
[01:35:37]  Hit it.
[01:35:37]  Relaxed.
[01:35:38]  I feel like I'm not on a different planet.
[01:35:40]  I can smoke way more of it.
[01:35:41]  It's almost like a hookah, but it makes your joints and mind feel better.
[01:35:46]  Ah, take that, Raddix.
[01:35:47]  Anyway, Radix Remedies, use that promo code flag rate.
[01:35:50]  Healthy hookah.
[01:35:50]  Get that discount.
[01:35:51]  Healthy hookah.
[01:35:52]  Let's get back to the show.
[01:35:53]  Oh, there was that virtual reality tweet that I showed you last time that we didn't talk about.
[01:35:57]  This is not sports.
[01:35:58]  Van tweeted it.
[01:35:59]  Shout out to Van Van Lathan.
[01:36:02]  Oh, wait.
[01:36:02]  Is this the mother reuniting with her dead daughter on virtual reality?
[01:36:07]  Do you remember that?
[01:36:09]  What were you talking about?
[01:36:09]  No, he posted.
[01:36:12]  He spoke to his cousin.
[01:36:15]  What is this?
[01:36:17]  He just did like one of those where he just talks to the phone or whatever.
[01:36:20]  And he was like, his cousin calls him.
[01:36:23]  He's like, yo, are you safe out there in LA?
[01:36:25]  He's like, nah, what you mean?
[01:36:27]  He's like, from Corona, you know, like, y'all drink a lot of that shit out there.
[01:36:34]  Like, he thought he was joking at first, but he was dead.
[01:36:37]  He's like, yo, I'm good.
[01:36:38]  I drink Bud Light.
[01:36:39]  I'm good.
[01:36:39]  But I mean, like, yo, just watch out.
[01:36:42]  Oh, God.
[01:36:43]  That's what he meant by the Buddha shit.
[01:36:45]  Oh, fuck.
[01:36:46]  Because I heard him say, my boy.
[01:36:49]  I never laughed so hard.
[01:36:53]  Son, Al loves ignorance, yo.
[01:36:57]  Ton.
[01:36:57]  It's the best.
[01:36:58]  Son, this shit.
[01:36:59]  Like, when it's honest ignorance, it's the best.
[01:37:01]  What was the clip?
[01:37:02]  There was some clip about these dudes talking about, what was it?
[01:37:07]  The windmills.
[01:37:09]  Oh, the windmills are good for the...
[01:37:11]  It was like, these are UK dudes, right?
[01:37:13]  Yeah.
[01:37:13]  He's like, yeah, bro.
[01:37:14]  The windmills are good for the environment because it cools down the earth.
[01:37:21]  He's like, what?
[01:37:22]  Yeah.
[01:37:22]  It's a fan for the earth.
[01:37:24]  That's how you fight global warm.
[01:37:26]  That's how you fight global warming, man.
[01:37:28]  Because the fans are spinning this cooling down the earth, bro.
[01:37:31]  So that shit is so funny, man.
[01:37:33]  I love those moments, like, just honest ignorance.
[01:37:37]  It's the best.
[01:37:38]  All right.
[01:37:38]  You said you had something to read.
[01:37:40]  Yeah.
[01:37:41]  The VR shit.
[01:37:42]  Oh, yeah.
[01:37:42]  You got the virtual reality shit?
[01:37:44]  Okay, let's pull that up real quick.
[01:37:46]  Yeah, it's a GIF.
[01:37:47]  It's a what? GIF.
[01:37:49]  Yes.
[01:37:49]  Whatever, Doug.
[01:37:53]  I'm not having this debate with you.
[01:37:54]  Look at this shit.
[01:37:55]  This is virtual reality.
[01:37:56]  What does GIF stand for?
[01:37:57]  Guy, I'm a fuck.
[01:38:03]  What is this?
[01:38:03]  This is a mother reuniting with her deceased daughter.
[01:38:06]  This is why I'm saying we have coronavirus.
[01:38:08]  Just get out of here.
[01:38:10]  Just get out of here already, yo.
[01:38:11]  This shit is so stupid.
[01:38:13]  It's like, y'all, y'all fucking...
[01:38:15]  What is this?
[01:38:16]  I don't know.
[01:38:17]  What is this?
[01:38:18]  Why would you want to do this to yourself?
[01:38:20]  It's a video of a woman.
[01:38:21]  You can't touch her.
[01:38:22]  Asian.
[01:38:23]  You can't hug her?
[01:38:24]  Yeah.
[01:38:24]  So this corona breaks.
[01:38:25]  Why is it so emotionless that they don't give a fuck about hugging nobody?
[01:38:28]  Hey, you want to know some crazy shit?
[01:38:31]  Where do the Asians live in Queens?
[01:38:34]  Flushing.
[01:38:35]  Corona.
[01:38:36]  Oh, fuck.
[01:38:37]  I thought you were going to say frushing.
[01:38:39]  Not frushing.
[01:38:40]  They live in fucking Corona, son.
[01:38:43]  They probably got the disease from not frushing.
[01:38:46]  Probably.
[01:38:46]  Quite frankly.
[01:38:47]  Shitting in the streets.
[01:38:50]  This is so stupid.
[01:38:50]  Anyway, so there's this woman who's doing VR so she can talk to her daughter that died.
[01:38:54]  And there's a version of her daughter in front of her.
[01:38:57]  And she's like petting it and trying to touch it.
[01:38:59]  And it's like, or whatever.
[01:39:01]  But why would you do this to yourself?
[01:39:03]  It seems like torture, dude.
[01:39:04]  It is torture, man.
[01:39:06]  What do these people think is entertainment?
[01:39:08]  I don't even understand.
[01:39:08]  I get it, man.
[01:39:09]  It's like, isn't there like an episode of Black Mirror where it's like motherfuckers just start living in virtual reality because it's just like better or some shit like that?
[01:39:17]  Oh, yeah, yeah.
[01:39:18]  I mean, that's, I think that's Wedding Player One.
[01:39:20]  That's like a lot of movies where they do that.
[01:39:21]  But I get that.
[01:39:22]  But this can't be good.
[01:39:24]  No, but imagine, like, she's just never going to take them shits off.
[01:39:28]  She takes those shits off.
[01:39:29]  Her daughter's dead.
[01:39:30]  Let's back this up.
[01:39:31]  Her daughter's alive.
[01:39:31]  Let's back this up.
[01:39:33]  If the daughter had all the personality traits of the daughter, like you could kind of like download her consciousness into the VR.
[01:39:42]  Yeah.
[01:39:42]  Stay in that VR, baby.
[01:39:43]  I get it.
[01:39:44]  Nah, but then she never lives her life.
[01:39:46]  That's fine.
[01:39:47]  Like, okay, what if you could find balance?
[01:39:49]  Like, when you go to work, you live that part of your life, and then you want to hang out with your daughter, you could do that.
[01:39:53]  It's like you always have this daughter with you.
[01:39:55]  I don't know.
[01:39:56]  It might be bad, but I understand it more.
[01:39:58]  This, you just look at some Asian kid.
[01:40:01]  You can't find an Asian kid to look like your daughter?
[01:40:02]  You telling me.
[01:40:04]  You telling me.
[01:40:07]  You telling me right now that you can't just find another Asian kid that looks like your daughter.
[01:40:12]  Listen, I'm not going to say all Asians look alike.
[01:40:14]  The kids.
[01:40:16]  But the kids, though?
[01:40:19]  There are some stark similarities, are they not?
[01:40:21]  No, they all.
[01:40:22]  They also all look alike.
[01:40:23]  But you can say that.
[01:40:25]  Yeah.
[01:40:26]  Because you're one of them.
[01:40:27]  Yeah.
[01:40:28]  I'm saying the adults don't all look alike.
[01:40:31]  But the kids.
[01:40:32]  Right, right, right.
[01:40:33]  Before they fully developed.
[01:40:34]  Before they turn into.
[01:40:35]  Yeah, because pre-pubescent, it's like boys and girls, you could barely tell them apart.
[01:40:40]  They look post-pubescent.
[01:40:41]  Similar.
[01:40:42]  So imagine pre, right?
[01:40:46]  I'm just saying, this is absurd.
[01:40:48]  This should be illegal, dude.
[01:40:50]  This is wrong.
[01:40:51]  I mean, how is this any different than just looking at a picture of your daughter?

=== Halal Organ Harvesting Ethics (05:44) ===

[01:40:54]  I don't know.
[01:40:55]  You're not talking to your daughter.
[01:40:57]  Nah, I think it talks back.
[01:40:59]  What is it going to say?
[01:41:00]  What is it going to say?
[01:41:01]  These symbols.
[01:41:02]  Why didn't you protect me?
[01:41:04]  Why didn't you keep me alive?
[01:41:08]  Why'd you let me die?
[01:41:10]  What do you think it's saying?
[01:41:12]  Why'd you let Shane Gillis say that?
[01:41:19]  Nah, dude.
[01:41:19]  Yo, this Corona shit is scary, son.
[01:41:22]  Son.
[01:41:23]  That number keeps going up.
[01:41:25]  What do you mean?
[01:41:25]  There was the death toll.
[01:41:27]  Son.
[01:41:28]  That shit is skyrocketing.
[01:41:29]  There was one Japanese person in fucking Hawaii when we were there.
[01:41:32]  Son, son.
[01:41:33]  I can't.
[01:41:34]  I just, I just, it gets to a point where you're...
[01:41:37]  Mark has a little cough now.
[01:41:38]  Son.
[01:41:39]  Quarantine that motherfucker.
[01:41:41]  They knew the whole time.
[01:41:47]  What do you mean?
[01:41:48]  They knew.
[01:41:49]  Who?
[01:41:50]  China?
[01:41:51]  Chinese.
[01:41:52]  They shut the whole city down, though.
[01:41:53]  Fuck the city.
[01:41:54]  How long have they been wearing these masks?
[01:41:57]  Since SARS, yo.
[01:41:59]  That's the first Corona.
[01:42:00]  It is the first Corona.
[01:42:03]  But they just never gave up on it.
[01:42:04]  You know what I mean?
[01:42:08]  So you think they just rebrand it?
[01:42:10]  Yeah.
[01:42:11]  SARS is...
[01:42:12]  Corona is like a mutated form of SARS, I'm pretty sure.
[01:42:15]  Something like that.
[01:42:15]  They're like related to that.
[01:42:17]  Son.
[01:42:17]  I know that's the case.
[01:42:19]  Come on.
[01:42:20]  Come on, though.
[01:42:22]  I just don't get why it keeps coming out of there.
[01:42:24]  You don't?
[01:42:25]  No.
[01:42:25]  Have you seen any videos from there?
[01:42:27]  Have you seen the Chinatown?
[01:42:30]  Are you really surprised that disease starts in China?
[01:42:34]  Yeah, but that dangerous of a disease.
[01:42:37]  So if you just have dirt and shit on the ground, a fucking disease grows.
[01:42:40]  I think predicted.
[01:42:41]  I don't think it worked like that.
[01:42:42]  That's how it works.
[01:42:43]  So apparently.
[01:42:43]  If you watch this Bill Gates documentary on Netflix, he doesn't predict Corona, but he predicts a global outbreak will start.
[01:42:49]  I'm pretty sure in China, and now we're all so connected, that's what's going to make it spread so quickly.
[01:42:54]  And that's all Corona is.
[01:42:56]  It's a disease that started in China because it's fucking repulsive.
[01:42:59]  And then we just all travel so much, especially now because China is so powerful.
[01:43:02]  We're all doing business in China.
[01:43:04]  LeBron was probably there.
[01:43:05]  LeBron might get Corona.
[01:43:07]  Daryl Maury's trying to save you from it.
[01:43:09]  You don't want that.
[01:43:11]  I thought they just working on bio warfare and shit.
[01:43:14]  That's what the conspiracy was.
[01:43:15]  Put it there to do some whatever shit, and it's like oh no, I'm like, we put it there.
[01:43:19]  I think they're just trying to develop some shit.
[01:43:21]  Oh, they fucked up their own thing.
[01:43:22]  Yeah, China is a biological weapon, like stranger things.
[01:43:27]  You think stranger things is essentially happening in China without the aliens.
[01:43:32]  I mean, there's a world where it's like population control.
[01:43:35]  Like, if you're Chinese government, right?
[01:43:38]  If you're Chinese government, right?
[01:43:40]  Wow.
[01:43:40]  Why wouldn't you think about it?
[01:43:42]  Why wouldn't you develop a disease that they can't Google because they don't know how it's spelled?
[01:43:47]  And they, and they, and they, and then why they can't use Google because they can't spell it, yeah.
[01:43:53]  They're Gouger.
[01:43:56]  So, so, so, you do, you, you develop this disease, it takes out a huge swath of your population.
[01:44:03]  It's incredibly overpopulated already.
[01:44:05]  Takes out a huge swath of the population.
[01:44:08]  Now, you good.
[01:44:09]  Think about it.
[01:44:09]  Medieval times or whatever that, the dark ages, what happened right after the dark ages in Europe?
[01:44:16]  Renaissance, right?
[01:44:17]  The Renaissance.
[01:44:17]  Yeah, motherfuckers was eating grapes on their side, right?
[01:44:21]  Man, monuments going up, monuments going up, mad art going up, right?
[01:44:25]  Because you got all the, it's literally that's why you know Avengers Endgame is trash because we experienced it.
[01:44:31]  It was great, it was great.
[01:44:33]  Thanos is right, that's right, the whole thing.
[01:44:35]  And you know where the plague came from China, bro.
[01:44:40]  Oh, yeah, we had this conversation.
[01:44:42]  We did, yeah, the rats came from China, black plague, yeah.
[01:44:46]  Oh, anyway, there is something to that.
[01:44:49]  Maybe they're doing it on purpose.
[01:44:51]  Maybe it's just like you know, the Chinese don't give a fuck.
[01:44:53]  They're harvesting organs, dog.
[01:44:56]  They're harvesting, you know, they're harvesting organs.
[01:44:58]  You didn't know this?
[01:44:59]  They're harvesting organs.
[01:45:00]  They got a Muslim population called the Uyghur Uyghurs or something like that.
[01:45:03]  What are they called?
[01:45:03]  Haney, you know your people.
[01:45:05]  That's fucked up.
[01:45:06]  That's why they're getting harvested.
[01:45:07]  Haiti.
[01:45:08]  Haiti.
[01:45:08]  That's fucked up.
[01:45:09]  I don't know.
[01:45:10]  I like General Sao's chicken.
[01:45:12]  That's what I like.
[01:45:13]  They're harvesting organs from the Muslim community out there.
[01:45:17]  And they have them in like camps.
[01:45:19]  Don't they have them in like they got the Muslims?
[01:45:24]  And that's what you get for not drinking any alcohol because that's the best organs.
[01:45:27]  That's whose organs I would use.
[01:45:29]  Son, they got some halal organs, huh?
[01:45:30]  You need some liver?
[01:45:32]  I need a new liver.
[01:45:33]  You think I want some organs?
[01:45:34]  It's so halal.
[01:45:35]  So give me my liver halal.
[01:45:38]  I want real talk.
[01:45:39]  Think about it.
[01:45:41]  All the food blessed by a fucking imam, right?
[01:45:44]  No alcohol in the liver whatsoever.
[01:45:46]  Chinese people love to drink.
[01:45:48]  Oh, yeah, you're right.
[01:45:49]  Right?
[01:45:49]  Sing Tao.
[01:45:50]  What else they got?
[01:45:52]  I know Saki's Japanese.
[01:45:53]  They probably got their version.
[01:45:55]  Okay?
[01:45:56]  Muslims not eating nothing bad, not drinking nothing bad.
[01:45:59]  Organs perfect.
[01:46:01]  Harvest.
[01:46:04]  You done did that to yourselves.
[01:46:05]  None.
[01:46:05]  If I take organs, I only want halal.
[01:46:10]  You want halal?
[01:46:12]  Whose organs are you taking?
[01:46:14]  So halal, what's the Jewish kosher?
[01:46:17]  Kosher.
[01:46:19]  And then probably Mormons.
[01:46:22]  Ooh, because they're clean.
[01:46:23]  Yeah, clean.
[01:46:24]  They can't do that.
[01:46:25]  I'm going to be honest with you, though.
[01:46:26]  I kind of want like I want something durable.
[01:46:32]  You want something that's been through it a little bit.
[01:46:33]  A little bit, yeah, because like what if you get this salt?
[01:46:36]  You want that good black on it?
[01:46:37]  Okay.

=== Colonial Attitudes Toward Race (06:53) ===

[01:46:38]  Now, y'all don't, y'all don't last long enough.
[01:46:40]  Yeah, but we're built strong.
[01:46:42]  No, Japanese.
[01:46:43]  Oh, yo.
[01:46:45]  Yo, here's another thing I was thinking about.
[01:46:46]  Oh, this is bad.
[01:46:48]  All their organs are tinier.
[01:46:49]  So talk about this.
[01:46:50]  This isn't something interesting.
[01:46:51]  What'd you say?
[01:46:52]  What if all their organs are tinier?
[01:46:54]  Perfect.
[01:46:54]  Put more in.
[01:46:55]  Give me two livers.
[01:46:56]  I'm going to fuck one up.
[01:46:57]  It's like the cards for the camera.
[01:47:00]  It's like, once you fill with that one, run it off to the next card.
[01:47:04]  But I was thinking about this with about genetic stamping.
[01:47:09]  Like, and whose code is strong?
[01:47:12]  Like, who is like a real strong code?
[01:47:14]  Because I was in Mexico, right?
[01:47:16]  Mexico is so dope.
[01:47:17]  Y'all got to go to Mexico.
[01:47:19]  And we have diversity in America because we're young.
[01:47:28]  Right.
[01:47:29]  Diversity is not like this thing that's like an accomplishment.
[01:47:32]  Like diversity is the thing that happens before the accomplishment, which is we all fuck each other until we look the same.
[01:47:38]  Yeah.
[01:47:38]  So like we think that we're like all progressive.
[01:47:40]  No, we're young.
[01:47:41]  Like Mexico looks at us and they're like, oh, you just got black people and white people mixing?
[01:47:45]  Oh, congrats.
[01:47:46]  We've been doing that for 500 years.
[01:47:47]  They had the first black president in all of North America back in the day, right?
[01:47:52]  Like, now he was mixed, but so was our black president.
[01:47:54]  So it's like, so the what's interesting about Mexico is that like they don't have any of the same like racial insecurities that we have because they were all mixed.
[01:48:07]  You had white conquistadors, Europeans, right?
[01:48:09]  You had blacks that were brought in as slaves.
[01:48:11]  And then you had the native population as well.
[01:48:14]  They still favor light-skinned, though, right?
[01:48:16]  Oh, of course.
[01:48:16]  You're going to have that kind of like, you know, colonial attitudes towards race.
[01:48:21]  I'm not saying that.
[01:48:21]  But they don't have a colonial sensitivity towards race.
[01:48:24]  Like if there's a black guy, they just call him Negro.
[01:48:26]  Even if he's not black, Negro.
[01:48:29]  If it's a dark-skinned Indian, Negro.
[01:48:32]  Right?
[01:48:32]  And Blanco.
[01:48:34]  Dude, anybody that's Asian is Chino.
[01:48:37]  That means Chinese, but anybody that's Asian.
[01:48:39]  Matter of fact, if you're not Asian, but you have eyes that look a little slanted, you're Chino.
[01:48:43]  We do the same as American.
[01:48:45]  No.
[01:48:45]  Here's the thing.
[01:48:46]  They have these guys that rob you by running up behind you and grabbing your fucking neck and squeezing it until you pass out, and then they rob you, right?
[01:48:53]  So instead of stabbing you and shit, they give you a little chokehold and then you go.
[01:48:55]  Oh, that's nice.
[01:48:58]  Mexicans are the best.
[01:48:59]  They're the best.
[01:49:01]  Manual labor.
[01:49:02]  Even in the robbery, it's fucking perfect, right?
[01:49:05]  They go behind you, they fucking choke you, they sit you down.
[01:49:08]  What are they called?
[01:49:09]  Chineros.
[01:49:11]  Now, they're not Chinese, but to Mexicans, choking is like a karate move.
[01:49:21]  So the name of robber is just a Chinese.
[01:49:25]  Literally how it comes down to.
[01:49:27]  Oh, he's a Chinero.
[01:49:28]  They'll refer to themselves.
[01:49:29]  Oh, yeah, I'm a Chinero.
[01:49:30]  That's what I do.
[01:49:31]  Not Chinese at all.
[01:49:32]  Zero racial sensitivity about anything.
[01:49:35]  And just, it like puts you in perspective when you're like, when you start looking at the population, like when you see Mexicans, they have coding, right?
[01:49:41]  They look like native.
[01:49:43]  I mean, sometimes you see some like white Mexicans.
[01:49:45]  You don't see a lot of black Mexicans, right?
[01:49:47]  And there was like 40,000 slaves or something like that in Mexico City back in the day, like when the country was really going.
[01:49:53]  Like 80,000 natives and only 15,000 white people.
[01:49:58]  And I got to thinking, I was like, do certain like genetics code stronger visibly?
[01:50:07]  Like, are there certain things that stay?
[01:50:11]  Like, if white, if like, if like a white person and black person have a kid, what do they look more like?
[01:50:18]  Black.
[01:50:19]  Yeah.
[01:50:20]  Maybe.
[01:50:22]  Maybe, or maybe they don't.
[01:50:24]  Nah, but they usually look more black.
[01:50:27]  Do they?
[01:50:28]  Yeah, for the most part, I would think.
[01:50:30]  I don't know.
[01:50:31]  Because I think you see a lot of light-skinned black people, and I think they lean into black identity.
[01:50:36]  But if you just saw them, I don't know if you'd think, oh yeah, they're definitely.
[01:50:39]  But I think once you see any little bit of tan, you'd think non-white.
[01:50:45]  Yes.
[01:50:46]  I think that's the case.
[01:50:48]  So it's like, you might not know it's white, black, but you just don't, you know, it's not just white.
[01:50:52]  I think Asian's on it, and I think native, like Indian, like not you, the other Indian, I think that is really dominant.
[01:50:59]  Like, I think it's so dominant that it became part of the coding of like the majority of Mexicans, at least the ones that we identify as Mexican.
[01:51:11]  When you're there, you actually see it as well.
[01:51:12]  And I think it's like a really profound fucking coding.
[01:51:15]  And I actually think European coding is pretty profound too.
[01:51:19]  Like you see European influence when you go to some places.
[01:51:22]  You go to like even with mix.
[01:51:25]  Like, I'm telling you, I think like you've seen white and black mix.
[01:51:27]  I think you think they look more black?
[01:51:29]  I think so.
[01:51:31]  I think they look more white.
[01:51:33]  I think it can definitely go either way.
[01:51:35]  I just think more of the time, like Barack.
[01:51:38]  I think you get more Baracks than you get like a who's a white half and half or like a Derek Jeter, maybe.
[01:51:47]  But even he, he looks Spanish.
[01:51:49]  The guy from LMFAO looks white.
[01:51:51]  He's half black.
[01:51:52]  Yeah.
[01:51:53]  No, I hear what you're saying.
[01:51:54]  No, no, I understand what you're saying.
[01:51:55]  And it's so hard because I think you were kind of touching on this before, which is like in America, anything that's like slightly not white is considered not white.
[01:52:02]  Yeah.
[01:52:03]  So we were kind of biased.
[01:52:07]  Like, we think Asian is very dominant because it's a dominant, it's a thing we notice.
[01:52:12]  If the eyes are at all like slanted or whatever, it must be missing.
[01:52:16]  That's just what we notice.
[01:52:17]  Yes.
[01:52:18]  If you're darker than a white person, oh, you're mixed.
[01:52:21]  You're half black.
[01:52:21]  I got you.
[01:52:22]  You need to, I think you guys have to look back in the mic.
[01:52:24]  Oh, yeah, you unplugged your mic a little bit.
[01:52:27]  Yeah, so that.
[01:52:28]  How long has that been out?
[01:52:30]  Just now.
[01:52:30]  Ah, perfect.
[01:52:31]  Okay.
[01:52:31]  You were saying, though?
[01:52:32]  I think that's just a dominant skin, or that's just a dominant physical feature that we notice.
[01:52:36]  So we go, oh, that guy looks more black because he's tan.
[01:52:38]  We just notice.
[01:52:39]  I mean, that's huge.
[01:52:40]  It's your skin.
[01:52:41]  So you don't look white.
[01:52:42]  You look black.
[01:52:43]  You know what I mean?
[01:52:44]  No, I guess, I guess.
[01:52:45]  It was just an interesting conversation.
[01:52:46]  Like, clearly, some have to be more powerful than others.
[01:52:49]  And maybe that's like an independent genetic trait.
[01:52:51]  Maybe there are certain groups that just have like distinct qualities that they pass down.
[01:52:55]  Like, I know for a fact, I can tell, like, I can tell if you're a Schultz.
[01:53:03]  More so than my mom, which is Cameron.
[01:53:05]  Like, all the fucking people in my family on the Schultz side, even the women, look like Schultz's.
[01:53:12]  There's just distinct fucking traits that we all have.
[01:53:15]  I look at my dad's brothers.
[01:53:16]  I look at my cousins, which are their kids.
[01:53:18]  And all of them just kind of fit into this genetic coding.
[01:53:22]  There's something so strong about that coding that it informs the children regardless of the partner.

=== Petty Savage Candle Argument (14:03) ===

[01:53:31]  Interesting.
[01:53:32]  Look-wise, or can you just smell it?
[01:53:34]  Look.
[01:53:37]  Yo, but I'm surprised you left Mexico unscathed with that bling bling on your neck, dog.
[01:53:42]  I tell you, you get chucked out.
[01:53:44]  I'll tell you that.
[01:53:44]  Oh, you talk to each other.
[01:53:46]  I respect it.
[01:53:47]  I respect that.
[01:53:48]  Son.
[01:53:49]  I respect it.
[01:53:50]  Yo, that is low-key disrespectful.
[01:53:52]  Never once have I had to take this off at TSA.
[01:53:56]  Yo, I just figured that out right now.
[01:54:00]  I walk into the Rock Nation machine every time, and never once did they even want me.
[01:54:08]  Is gold not metal, though?
[01:54:10]  I don't know.
[01:54:10]  No, gold's a mineral.
[01:54:12]  Real gold doesn't ring off the machine.
[01:54:16]  That's what's up.
[01:54:17]  That's what's up.
[01:54:18]  You know what I mean?
[01:54:19]  That's how you could usually tell fake.
[01:54:21]  That's what's up.
[01:54:23]  I remember back in my old job where people would go through the metal detectors and they would ring off.
[01:54:29]  And they wear big ass chains.
[01:54:31]  And then we would especially take the wand and go right over the chain with it.
[01:54:36]  No, that's fucked up.
[01:54:39]  What you gonna do?
[01:54:40]  What you gonna do?
[01:54:42]  It'd just be what can they do?
[01:54:46]  I'm supposed to not figure out what's metal?
[01:54:47]  Yeah.
[01:54:48]  This was hilarious.
[01:54:49]  We gotta get out of here.
[01:54:50]  Anything else?
[01:54:51]  Yeah, we gotta read this.
[01:54:52]  We gotta read this message.
[01:54:53]  Oh, yeah, we do have a very important message.
[01:54:55]  We can't do everything he wanted, but Petty Savage gang reached out to me and he said, thank you for helping me through a hard time.
[01:55:00]  My son passed away on Monday.
[01:55:02]  This is a couple weeks old, so I'm sorry I'm just getting to it.
[01:55:04]  He was 10 weeks old.
[01:55:05]  The only thing that has helped get my mind off of it and be able to be strong for my other two sons and wife is the podcast.
[01:55:11]  I really appreciate it.
[01:55:12]  And if it's not too much trouble, I ask to ask for, I wanted to ask if you guys could ask the Army to light candles for my baby boy on the next episode.
[01:55:19]  Yo.
[01:55:20]  Sorry, he's a couple weeks late, but shouts to Petty Savage Gang, Army.
[01:55:24]  Let them know if you're in the Discord.
[01:55:26]  Let them know you're thinking of them.
[01:55:27]  Let them know we got love for him.
[01:55:28]  So we're going to light one up for you tonight, though.
[01:55:31]  That's Alex's way of saying we don't got a candle on set.
[01:55:34]  Yo, what a piece of shit Akash is, son.
[01:55:36]  I said this last night, yo.
[01:55:38]  So bring a fucking candle.
[01:55:40]  You came straight from the airport.
[01:55:41]  They don't got candles.
[01:55:42]  Where you coming from?
[01:55:43]  Late.
[01:55:43]  They ain't got candles.
[01:55:44]  No, it wasn't late.
[01:55:45]  That was it.
[01:55:46]  They ain't got candles.
[01:55:47]  Where are you coming from?
[01:55:48]  No, I ain't got no candles at the airport.
[01:55:49]  Yeah, I'm coming from Philly.
[01:55:50]  Where are you coming from?
[01:55:51]  Sick.
[01:55:54]  My girl is sick.
[01:55:56]  She got food poisoning or something.
[01:55:58]  Eden, you know, you got a candle with Jesus on it.
[01:56:00]  Why'd you bring that over here?
[01:56:02]  Thank you.
[01:56:03]  Whatever.
[01:56:03]  Yo, how are you not going to bring a candle from Petty Savage?
[01:56:06]  That's Petty.
[01:56:06]  That's what that is.
[01:56:07]  That's Petty and Savage.
[01:56:09]  Matter of fact, bro.
[01:56:09]  I feel like you might have wrote this message yourself.
[01:56:11]  Hey, I'm the only one here who's gang.
[01:56:13]  Who gang?
[01:56:13]  Who's gang?
[01:56:14]  I'll tell you that.
[01:56:15]  Who's gang?
[01:56:15]  Yeah.
[01:56:16]  What's that mean?
[01:56:16]  I'm down for Petty Savage gang.
[01:56:18]  Huh?
[01:56:20]  I don't know what he's saying right now, bro.
[01:56:21]  Relax.
[01:56:22]  Who are you trying to curry favor with right now?
[01:56:26]  Tom, what's going on right now, son?
[01:56:28]  I'm just trying to non-favorable.
[01:56:30]  How could you not just get a fucking candle, bro?
[01:56:33]  I didn't have a chance.
[01:56:33]  I sent this to you motherfuckers last night.
[01:56:35]  What y'all doing?
[01:56:37]  You had the whole day.
[01:56:38]  What I had the whole day.
[01:56:39]  You had the whole day.
[01:56:40]  I flew 7 a.m. West Coast.
[01:56:42]  Coming in.
[01:56:42]  You ain't got 30.
[01:56:43]  Who's the candles on the West Coast?
[01:56:44]  Bro, no.
[01:56:45]  Who opened?
[01:56:45]  When are you going to the airport?
[01:56:47]  Everything.
[01:56:47]  Everything.
[01:56:48]  Ain't nobody open that early.
[01:56:49]  Everything.
[01:56:49]  Everybody.
[01:56:51]  It's West Coast.
[01:56:52]  It's just not dumb early.
[01:56:53]  No.
[01:56:53]  It's just not dumb early.
[01:56:55]  You know that.
[01:56:55]  No.
[01:56:56]  That's different out there.
[01:56:57]  They got candles.
[01:56:58]  They up running and celebrating birthdays.
[01:57:00]  They run.
[01:57:01]  Just candles.
[01:57:03]  You know how many Mexicans need a Kinsinuras?
[01:57:05]  I don't see it.
[01:57:06]  At least 15.
[01:57:07]  They're going to have mad Kinsinuras.
[01:57:09]  Moneyaka got a fucking candle.
[01:57:11]  Bro.
[01:57:11]  You live next to a bodega.
[01:57:12]  What y'all doing?
[01:57:13]  Akash really thought that he was going to be like the moral upstanding part of the group by sharing this message.
[01:57:17]  And you're going to not show up with a motherfucking candle, bro.
[01:57:20]  You're going to not show up with a motherfucking candle.
[01:57:21]  Yo, Petty Savage.
[01:57:22]  I come here to Andrew talking to Haney, legs crossed on the couch, trying to act like that.
[01:57:27]  Why you got to describe my legs, bro?
[01:57:29]  Why y'all describing my legs?
[01:57:30]  Because that's the most relaxed they could be.
[01:57:31]  Why you got to describe my legs?
[01:57:33]  Hey, this is the most relaxed legs could be.
[01:57:35]  Damn, son.
[01:57:35]  That's fucked up, bro.
[01:57:37]  How you guys try to turn it on me, dog?
[01:57:39]  Son.
[01:57:39]  That's fucked up.
[01:57:40]  That's what we do.
[01:57:41]  That's what we're doing right now.
[01:57:42]  Listen, on behalf of Eden, Alex, myself, also Haney, Petty Savage, we would like to apologize to you for the giving a fuck enough to get a candle.
[01:57:51]  Wow, wow, wow, dog.
[01:57:53]  Hold up.
[01:57:54]  Son.
[01:57:54]  Hold on one second.
[01:57:56]  Hold up.
[01:57:57]  Let me adjust my seating because you coming here reckless right now.
[01:58:00]  Petty Savage.
[01:58:01]  Reckless.
[01:58:02]  Y'all not having a candle.
[01:58:03]  Petty Savage gang.
[01:58:04]  Let me just ask you.
[01:58:05]  Let me ask you what you would have done in the situation.
[01:58:08]  All right.
[01:58:09]  Akash.
[01:58:09]  He probably tried to ask you.
[01:58:11]  You didn't read the message.
[01:58:12]  Do you put some titties in there?
[01:58:19]  Because if you want me to go to the other DMs, if you want me to go to the DMs, if you want me to go to the DMs, the Instagram is like, yo, you shouldn't be looking at these DMs.
[01:58:33]  You know the other ones, bro.
[01:58:34]  If you want me to go to the other ones, you got to have some titties in that motherfucking picture, bro.
[01:58:40]  And don't send none of them pictures.
[01:58:42]  Don't send none of them pictures that makes me got to accept the DM to look at the picture.
[01:58:47]  You know what I'm talking about?
[01:58:48]  Yeah, yeah.
[01:58:49]  The titties got to be available for all.
[01:58:53]  And then I would have got to it.
[01:58:55]  And you know what?
[01:58:56]  I would have got?
[01:58:56]  I would have got some motherfucking candles, bro.
[01:58:58]  But you know why he got to you?
[01:59:00]  You didn't even care enough to look.
[01:59:01]  You know what?
[01:59:01]  He didn't even care enough.
[01:59:02]  I did look.
[01:59:03]  And he didn't send it to me.
[01:59:04]  You know why he didn't send it to me?
[01:59:05]  Because you don't give a fuck.
[01:59:06]  That's wrong.
[01:59:08]  That's wrong.
[01:59:09]  He didn't send it to me because he believed in you.
[01:59:12]  Because you're a man of faith and you're a man of gods.
[01:59:16]  Yo.
[01:59:16]  Plural.
[01:59:17]  Yo.
[01:59:18]  Yeah.
[01:59:19]  Straight from the airport.
[01:59:21]  Who got candles?
[01:59:22]  Why are you acting like there's not stores on the way?
[01:59:24]  Why are you acting like you couldn't just get a fucking candle?
[01:59:26]  Because I'm at the airport 6 a.m.
[01:59:28]  You got to get there out.
[01:59:29]  You didn't care, dog.
[01:59:30]  Don't you?
[01:59:30]  You didn't care, dog.
[01:59:32]  Don't you dare say I don't care.
[01:59:33]  You didn't care.
[01:59:34]  You dare say Alex.
[01:59:35]  Why you just gave me gunfinger?
[01:59:37]  Gunfinger.
[01:59:39]  He gave me gunfinger.
[01:59:41]  Yo, Petty Savage Gang, I know this wasn't your purpose, but you are tearing apart the podcast right now.
[01:59:49]  The one thing that was holding you together, you might have just ruined.
[01:59:52]  It might just be over the one thing.
[01:59:54]  But in all seriousness, we'd like to apologize for Akash, man, because as much as he fake was trying to be there, bro, you know, he sent that shit to the DM dog.
[02:00:04]  I was like, yo, this is a good person.
[02:00:05]  He's probably going to get some candles, bro.
[02:00:06]  He's probably going to get some lights.
[02:00:08]  You know what I'm saying?
[02:00:09]  And then you came through with nothing.
[02:00:11]  Alex, why you look at Eden like he was supposed to bring the candle?
[02:00:14]  I asked for a lighter.
[02:00:16]  Because why?
[02:00:17]  Why?
[02:00:17]  Because I thought you had a candle.
[02:00:18]  I thought you would at least bring a candle.
[02:00:21]  Why are you showing up an hour late?
[02:00:22]  You can't get a candle?
[02:00:23]  Son, I was here.
[02:00:24]  I was here.
[02:00:24]  And I went and got Eden food because I'm a nice, thoughtful person.
[02:00:28]  Eden had enough food for months.
[02:00:31]  Eden brought the lighter.
[02:00:32]  More than enough food, yo.
[02:00:33]  Eden, Eden brought the lighter.
[02:00:35]  Eddie can afford to not eat a motherfucking meal, quite frankly.
[02:00:37]  Why don't you get a goddamn candle?
[02:00:39]  Hey, I got him a salad because I care about his health.
[02:00:41]  That is a good point, Eden.
[02:00:44]  E less.
[02:00:49]  Listen to me.
[02:00:50]  Hey, listen.
[02:00:52]  We didn't mean to bring this up.
[02:00:56]  Petty Savage gang, we'll get right back to you after we scold Eden.
[02:01:00]  Eden, hold on one second.
[02:01:02]  I'm going to try to solve this problem.
[02:01:04]  I'm going to try to solve this problem.
[02:01:05]  I'll be right back.
[02:01:07]  You guys keep talking.
[02:01:08]  Keep yelling at Akash.
[02:01:10]  I don't get what's going on right now.
[02:01:12]  Andrew just left the studio.
[02:01:14]  Huh?
[02:01:15]  It's a pain.
[02:01:15]  Flying with candles is a pain.
[02:01:16]  Flying with candles is a pain, yo.
[02:01:18]  Also, I got to the airport.
[02:01:21]  Yo, Hady, shut the fuck up.
[02:01:23]  Yo, you think I could fly with some flammable shit on a plane?
[02:01:28]  No, we can't do it.
[02:01:29]  There's no flame.
[02:01:30]  It's wax.
[02:01:31]  It's wax and some paper in the middle.
[02:01:33]  That's what they said about box cutters on September 10th, 2001.
[02:01:38]  God damn, Alex.
[02:01:41]  Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
[02:01:43]  All right, all right Boom.
[02:01:46]  All right, boom.
[02:01:47]  All right, boom.
[02:01:48]  So, ready?
[02:01:50]  What is fire?
[02:01:53]  Hot.
[02:01:54]  Hot.
[02:01:57]  I got hot sauce.
[02:01:59]  So.
[02:02:00]  Flaming, flaming hot sauce.
[02:02:03]  You know what I mean?
[02:02:04]  So.
[02:02:04]  Are you a petty savage gang?
[02:02:06]  Hot sauce.
[02:02:07]  Take credit for this.
[02:02:08]  Yeah, real talk, son.
[02:02:09]  Hey, team, are we a team?
[02:02:11]  Now we a team.
[02:02:13]  Now we a team.
[02:02:14]  When you, you mister.
[02:02:15]  We got to take care of the gang.
[02:02:17]  You know what I mean?
[02:02:18]  Let's talk about this story on a podcast.
[02:02:20]  Hey, I thought you were going to get a crazy thing.
[02:02:21]  Here's your cat sauce.
[02:02:23]  Bruh, I can't travel with nothing.
[02:02:25]  I'm brown.
[02:02:26]  All right.
[02:02:27]  What do you mean?
[02:02:27]  They don't let me on with nothing that could hurt nobody.
[02:02:30]  Glass bottle, hot sauce.
[02:02:31]  Oh, wow.
[02:02:32]  Yeah, look at this identity politics.
[02:02:34]  You know, you're supposed to hate the woke culture.
[02:02:36]  You know what I mean?
[02:02:38]  Word.
[02:02:38]  I didn't use a black card once this episode.
[02:02:40]  You didn't use it not one time.
[02:02:41]  Because you already ruined it when you showed up.
[02:02:43]  What does that mean?
[02:02:47]  He was still late.
[02:02:48]  Hold on.
[02:02:49]  All right.
[02:02:49]  So, what we're going to do, Petty Savage gang, all right?
[02:02:52]  Because we don't have a candle because Akash doesn't fucking care about you.
[02:02:56]  All right.
[02:02:57]  We're going to take a little shot.
[02:02:58]  We're going to take a shot of hot sauce.
[02:02:59]  Everyone.
[02:03:00]  You're going to do this?
[02:03:01]  What?
[02:03:01]  You going to do this?
[02:03:03]  I care.
[02:03:04]  All right.
[02:03:04]  Unlike some people.
[02:03:06]  Okay.
[02:03:07]  Unlike some people.
[02:03:08]  I care.
[02:03:09]  Go ahead.
[02:03:09]  Unlike some people, I'm concerned.
[02:03:11]  I'm considerate.
[02:03:12]  Okay, go ahead.
[02:03:14]  I love the people that listen to this podcast, you know, that gets them through their day.
[02:03:19]  So I nominate as tribute to take my shot.
[02:03:24]  I nominate, I nominate Evan De Turki.
[02:03:28]  Evan?
[02:03:29]  Did I say Evan?
[02:03:31]  How do you spell your name?
[02:03:32]  The two D's.
[02:03:34]  But that's in it.
[02:03:36]  No, no, no.
[02:03:37]  Edin has two D's in him.
[02:03:44]  Hold on, hold on, hold on.
[02:03:46]  Hold on.
[02:03:46]  I'm going to take a little swig.
[02:03:47]  I'm going to take a swig of gosh.
[02:03:50]  Can you?
[02:03:51]  Hold on one second.
[02:03:53]  I got to get my water ready because I got to get my water ready.
[02:03:56]  I want to see how much you actually.
[02:03:57]  Yeah, you got to keep some distance between the bottle and your mouth, Paul.
[02:04:02]  I want to see it go in fast forward.
[02:04:04]  What?
[02:04:05]  Y'all are crazy.
[02:04:06]  Nah, we got to see it drop in your mouth.
[02:04:08]  No, this is not like a hot sauce where it doesn't come out.
[02:04:10]  This shit comes out.
[02:04:10]  No, it don't.
[02:04:11]  That drop.
[02:04:11]  That's a dropper.
[02:04:12]  Son, that's a big hot sauce.
[02:04:14]  Son, black.
[02:04:14]  I know hot sauce.
[02:04:15]  You didn't have to raise your voice.
[02:04:16]  Come on.
[02:04:18]  That was scary.
[02:04:18]  Alex.
[02:04:19]  I thought you were going to steal my North Face.
[02:04:22]  I got flashbacks right there.
[02:04:24]  I'm about to cheat on that chain real quick.
[02:04:27]  All right, here it is.
[02:04:33]  Son, that was one drop, son.
[02:04:35]  Come on.
[02:04:35]  That's one drop, yo.
[02:04:37]  You got to do a few drops.
[02:04:40]  You got to look like you're sucking a little dick.
[02:04:42]  Hold on.
[02:04:43]  It got to be a couple of.
[02:04:44]  Hold on.
[02:04:45]  You go do it.
[02:04:45]  There you go.
[02:04:47]  All right.
[02:04:47]  That's for you, Petty Savage gang.
[02:04:49]  I can't even see it.
[02:04:50]  You're not even doing a drop, son.
[02:04:51]  That's not even a shit.
[02:04:51]  Turn a little bit.
[02:04:52]  I can't see.
[02:04:53]  Oh, there we go.
[02:04:53]  Jerk it into your mouth.
[02:04:56]  Yeah.
[02:04:57]  See, now he really took a shot.
[02:04:59]  You got to take a real shot.
[02:05:00]  You did make up for the fact you forgot to get it.
[02:05:01]  Nah, you got to take a real shot.
[02:05:02]  He took a real shot.
[02:05:03]  No, you put a drop.
[02:05:05]  You put one drop.
[02:05:06]  That was like pre-come.
[02:05:07]  You got to take a full shot.
[02:05:08]  Oh, yeah, Take that mouth.
[02:05:10]  Get a load in your mouth, yo.
[02:05:12]  Put a load in it.
[02:05:13]  Son, this for Petty Savage, son.
[02:05:16]  It's for Petty Savage.
[02:05:17]  It's for Petty Savage.
[02:05:19]  Let him know you're thinking of him.
[02:05:21]  All right.
[02:05:22]  All right.
[02:05:23]  PSG.
[02:05:26]  I got you.
[02:05:28]  Don't say I never did nothing for you, bro.
[02:05:35]  Shake it.
[02:05:36]  Shake it.
[02:05:37]  Go ahead.
[02:05:37]  Go ahead.
[02:05:38]  You hear tap.
[02:05:41]  Why are you so bad at this?
[02:05:43]  I know, Frank.
[02:05:43]  I didn't see anything go in.
[02:05:44]  Bro, the way that you got way more liquid out of it from shaking it than me.
[02:05:48]  Yeah, I just came.
[02:05:48]  I care more.
[02:05:49]  It's on your chip.
[02:05:50]  I think I chip it.
[02:05:50]  Is it?
[02:05:51]  Yeah, how do you do that back?
[02:05:56]  Huh?
[02:05:57]  I don't know.
[02:05:57]  I'm not very good at that here.
[02:06:02]  It's actually not that spicy.
[02:06:03]  You go first.
[02:06:11]  You gotta make some noise, huh?
[02:06:18]  Eden tapped it from the back.
[02:06:19]  Damn, Eden.
[02:06:20]  That's what you do when you jerk off in a handstand.
[02:06:22]  Oh, Eden really takes it back.
[02:06:25]  That's actually pretty good hot sauce.
[02:06:27]  Where do you get that?
[02:06:28]  Son, that's embarrassing, Don.
[02:06:30]  That's embarrassing, son.
[02:06:32]  All right, we gotta finish the podcast.
[02:06:34]  Let's wrap it up.
[02:06:36]  I gotta go throw up.
[02:06:37]  I think that's it.
[02:06:38]  We good.
[02:06:38]  All right, we love y'all.
[02:06:40]  Flagrant 2, asshole army.
[02:06:42]  We'll see you this Friday on that Patreon.
[02:06:47]  Shit has been getting a little wild on that Patreon.
[02:06:49]  This last episode was a little wild skis.
[02:06:52]  We had fun.
[02:06:52]  A little wild skies.
[02:06:53]  We had fun.
[02:06:55]  But yeah, we'll see you over there.
[02:06:57]  Oh, we'll do that.
[02:06:57]  We'll do that with the.
[02:06:59]  We've already done that.
[02:06:59]  You guys know we've already done it.
[02:07:01]  Anyway, man, thank y'all so much for listening.
[02:07:02]  National Army for life.
[02:07:05]  Great to see all you guys out at the shows and just randomly at the fucking airport working for TSA.
[02:07:11]  You know what I mean?
[02:07:11]  Next time, talk about my chain, bro.
[02:07:13]  Even if it don't go off in the machine, just wand it down so I can feel like I got a nice little piece of girl over here.
[02:07:18]  In front of his girl and be like, oh, he must be real.
[02:07:20]  Yeah, and make the sound.
[02:07:21]  Be like, boom.
[02:07:22]  Like, make it yourself.
[02:07:23]  Even if the machine don't make it, make it yourself.
[02:07:25]  Boom, boom.
[02:07:26]  Can we have you?
[02:07:26]  Can we sit you down?
[02:07:28]  Act like I'm smuggling shit.
[02:07:30]  That's what I want you to do.
[02:07:31]  It's all love.
[02:07:32]  Flagrant 2.
[02:07:33]  See y'all.
[02:07:33]  Peace.
[02:07:34]  God bless you.