Flagrant - Andrew Schulz & Akaash Singh - Blacks Love Hummus w/ Doboy & KevOnStage
Aired: 2020-02-11
Duration: 01:42:58


=== Losing Weight and Porn (15:14) ===

[00:00:04]  What up, guys?
[00:00:05]  We are here.
[00:00:06]  Flagrant to Kev on stage.
[00:00:10]  What up?
[00:00:11]  Doughboy.
[00:00:11]  Yurp.
[00:00:12]  Doughboy looking slender, bro.
[00:00:13]  Hey, man, I'm trying to get to it, man.
[00:00:14]  Dude, you're a handsome guy, bro.
[00:00:16]  Thank you, man.
[00:00:17]  Don't worry.
[00:00:18]  You got handsome guy.
[00:00:19]  Doughboy is bad.
[00:00:20]  They don't notice it when you're big like that.
[00:00:22]  Not everybody gets slim and cute.
[00:00:25]  Yes.
[00:00:26]  He got light brown eyes, too.
[00:00:27]  I've even been noticing.
[00:00:28]  We're doing the podcast sometime and the sun hit him.
[00:00:30]  I'll be like, hey, I do.
[00:00:35]  Men can't compliment each other like that.
[00:00:37]  We're like, yo, you probably get a lot of girls.
[00:00:40]  I can't.
[00:00:41]  I can.
[00:00:41]  White dudes do get away with it.
[00:00:44]  I can't.
[00:00:44]  Doughboy, you look good.
[00:00:45]  Kev, you high.
[00:00:51]  So you lost how much, bro?
[00:00:54]  Right now, currently 222 pounds randomly.
[00:00:57]  Now, do you wonder where that goes?
[00:00:58]  Son, you lost one-fourth of a Teddy Ray.
[00:01:02]  You off camera catching straight.
[00:01:07]  You might even be.
[00:01:10]  Hi, Teddy.
[00:01:12]  Poor guy was willing to lay on the carpet.
[00:01:14]  I hate you, man.
[00:01:17]  I'm going to introduce our guests, but y'all should know them from the Righteous and Ratchet podcast.
[00:01:23]  Yeah, R ⁇ R. R ⁇ R podcast.
[00:01:25]  Now, did you guys get that from Charlemagne?
[00:01:27]  No, we did not, actually.
[00:01:29]  We actually started this a long time ago.
[00:01:31]  Charlamagne got it from you?
[00:01:32]  No, I'm not even saying that.
[00:01:33]  I just think sometimes original idea enough for anybody to claim it.
[00:01:39]  No, we had started back in 2016 and we really just started it like as it's like a conversation.
[00:01:44]  Like, you know, because Kev is more put together, he's married, kids.
[00:01:48]  I, at the time, was just ratchet in the streets.
[00:01:50]  And so we used to talk about like principles are just trying to live.
[00:01:53]  No, it was all Christian.
[00:01:55]  It was all Christian-based conversation, but I lost every argument.
[00:02:00]  Right.
[00:02:00]  I'd be like, it wasn't supposed to be a podcast.
[00:02:02]  I thought he was the argument for God.
[00:02:05]  Doughboy was challenging me on some stuff, and I was just like, man, I don't know.
[00:02:09]  I don't want to know, man.
[00:02:10]  I don't know.
[00:02:11]  Yeah, that was like a question that we thought.
[00:02:13]  Can they watch porn?
[00:02:16]  Nah, can they?
[00:02:17]  Here we go.
[00:02:17]  If you just watch it, you're not jerking off.
[00:02:20]  You can't.
[00:02:21]  And here's my answer for a lot of people.
[00:02:24]  There's the way I was raised and I was in church.
[00:02:26]  I didn't even hear what you said.
[00:02:27]  He said you can't as long as it's not black women.
[00:02:30]  What?
[00:02:31]  You can't watch the queens getting disrespected like that.
[00:02:34]  You know what I mean?
[00:02:37]  The breakdown term in marriage is a marriage bed is undefiled.
[00:02:41]  So there's a lot of most Christians would agree that porn is bad.
[00:02:46]  You should not watch it.
[00:02:47]  Even if you're married?
[00:02:48]  Even if you're married because you're watching somebody else have sex, right?
[00:02:53]  So that's like adultery, right?
[00:02:54]  So this is how I grew up, right?
[00:02:56]  So when I was like 16, I was watching this minister and his wife's kids, like babysitting them.
[00:03:01]  So I go to the VCR.
[00:03:02]  I'm going to the VCR.
[00:03:03]  No, no.
[00:03:04]  I was like, I'll show you about Bashi.
[00:03:08]  I want to go to that shirt.
[00:03:09]  No, no.
[00:03:10]  That one thought.
[00:03:11]  So I'm watching their daughter.
[00:03:12]  Every Sunday.
[00:03:14]  Axe strokes.
[00:03:17]  Nailed to the cross.
[00:03:18]  Oh, my God.
[00:03:24]  Oh, my God.
[00:03:26]  Bro, he's going to hell, but he don't have one.
[00:03:28]  So I went to take the Disney movie in the VCR.
[00:03:34]  And it was a porn in there in the main kitchen.
[00:03:36]  Like the, I mean, the main living room thing.
[00:03:38]  Yeah.
[00:03:38]  This is a minister.
[00:03:39]  So then I'm like, yo, y'all, like, maybe that's a mistake.
[00:03:42]  So I take it out and go to put it to the side, bro.
[00:03:44]  They had like 20 horns like perfectly labeled.
[00:03:47]  I'm like, yo, but I.
[00:03:49]  But y'all was teaching.
[00:03:51]  So I was like, ever since then, I kind of been like confused.
[00:03:54]  And that's kind of been a lot of things in church, how I grew up.
[00:03:57]  People said one thing, but what they were doing at home turned out to not be what they were preaching and stuff.
[00:04:02]  So when I came to LA, me and my wife kind of went through a period of like, man, what is our relationship with God going to be?
[00:04:09]  Because so much of it was what our grandma said, what the pastor said.
[00:04:11]  Like one of our pastors, when we were growing up, said, You can't go to the movies.
[00:04:14]  Every movie's sinful.
[00:04:15]  Lion King, sin.
[00:04:17]  And I found out when I was like 17, she was like, my grandma was like, oh, yeah, his son was having sex in the theater.
[00:04:22]  So he kind of went on this whole tangent, but we didn't really listen.
[00:04:24]  Like, that was his whole thing.
[00:04:26]  But at our age, the pastor was Bible.
[00:04:29]  Like, he talks directly to God.
[00:04:31]  Your relationship with God, can you watch porn?
[00:04:34]  I don't feel comfortable enough to watch porn in my relationship.
[00:04:39]  I have watched porn.
[00:04:41]  And what did you do?
[00:04:41]  Did you beat that fucking dick?
[00:04:44]  Did you take that?
[00:04:45]  Why did you get it?
[00:04:47]  God, he's a song aggressive, bro.
[00:04:50]  Where do you point your dick when you jerk off?
[00:04:51]  Right to the fucking heavens, dog.
[00:04:53]  That's disrespectful, dude.
[00:04:55]  I don't pull nobody on free throw.
[00:04:58]  That's foul, dog.
[00:04:59]  It automatically points up.
[00:05:01]  Automatically goes up points up.
[00:05:03]  You don't have to point it up.
[00:05:04]  You look like you're shooting at him.
[00:05:06]  You just shoot loads of Jesus, bro.
[00:05:09]  That's foul, though.
[00:05:10]  No, you got a clear.
[00:05:12]  You can't think about that stuff when you're doing it.
[00:05:16]  It'll mess you up.
[00:05:17]  You'll be like, it's a ratchet.
[00:05:18]  That's definitely ratchet.
[00:05:20]  That's far a ratchet.
[00:05:22]  That's definitely.
[00:05:23]  Okay, all right.
[00:05:23]  I'm just saying.
[00:05:24]  So you're staying away from the porn.
[00:05:25]  I don't really watch that much porn either.
[00:05:27]  Yeah, I think I don't feel 100% comfortable watching porn, though.
[00:05:30]  I've never really been into porn anyway.
[00:05:32]  You be making your own porn.
[00:05:33]  I watch my own porn.
[00:05:35]  I don't want to watch other people.
[00:05:36]  Wait, so you lost all this weight and now you're doing porn before he lost the weight.
[00:05:40]  Listen, before I was 450 with sex tapes, you understand?
[00:05:43]  Hold on.
[00:05:43]  You got to find the dick.
[00:05:44]  I don't understand.
[00:05:49]  See that porn.
[00:05:51]  Imagine the beginning of the porn and she's just like, all right, this has been like 30 minutes.
[00:05:57]  Yeah, dude.
[00:05:58]  Swimming through Belly.
[00:06:00]  Are you sure it's there?
[00:06:02]  Oh, yeah.
[00:06:02]  It's there.
[00:06:03]  That's hilarious to watch.
[00:06:04]  Your dick raise your stomach off.
[00:06:06]  I'll tell you, that'd be the reason because people always ask me, like, they'd be like, yo, why'd you lose weight?
[00:06:10]  And they'd be thinking it's like some big, like, epic reason.
[00:06:13]  And it was really just to get my dick back.
[00:06:15]  Like, that was the only thing.
[00:06:17]  Yes, it was not good.
[00:06:18]  So it was hard to stay up or what?
[00:06:19]  No, it would stay up, but it just...
[00:06:21]  It got fatter.
[00:06:22]  No, your dick gets smaller when you get bigger.
[00:06:24]  I was losing dick.
[00:06:25]  Is it the perception or something?
[00:06:27]  No, let me tell you.
[00:06:29]  I was waking up with less dick than I was going to sleep with on certain mornings.
[00:06:33]  Wow, you were in a recession.
[00:06:37]  And it said you wake up like, what the fuck?
[00:06:41]  Damn, 27.
[00:06:44]  When I went to bed.
[00:06:46]  The third quarter in a row.
[00:06:47]  And I'm telling you, there's no good, there's no good sexual positions.
[00:06:50]  Like, I had a chick try to run.
[00:06:51]  You had to lose a weight.
[00:06:52]  You got your dick in low power?
[00:06:57]  Hold on.
[00:06:57]  So that's the problem.
[00:06:59]  Every other part of your body gets fat.
[00:07:00]  Your head gets fat.
[00:07:01]  Your ankles get fat.
[00:07:02]  Everything gets fat.
[00:07:03]  Dick goes away.
[00:07:04]  I felt as if my stomach was holding my dick hostage.
[00:07:06]  It was going away.
[00:07:07]  I had to free my dick with diet and exercise.
[00:07:10]  So you start losing weight and your dick starts to start coming back.
[00:07:13]  And I was going on a revenge tour, going back to all the women.
[00:07:18]  You know, like, women are different.
[00:07:19]  When women lose weight and you wasn't fucking with them, they'd be like, fuck you, you were trash.
[00:07:22]  Like, I was like, nah, nah, I was tough.
[00:07:26]  But come get this dick down, though.
[00:07:28]  Shit, different, though.
[00:07:31]  It's lit.
[00:07:31]  So, you know what I'm saying?
[00:07:32]  So, yeah, that was definitely the biggest motivation for losing weight.
[00:07:35]  Like, because I couldn't fuck, bro.
[00:07:37]  Really?
[00:07:38]  Yeah.
[00:07:38]  Did they change their tune?
[00:07:40]  Were they like, was it like one of those Yelp reviews where it's like, I can't lose it?
[00:07:43]  And it's like, so now, like, all the old chicks that I used to mess with are trying to come back, like, new chicks trying to get in the game.
[00:07:48]  But I said, fuck all that.
[00:07:49]  I got in a relationship.
[00:07:52]  Now, this sex positions when you're wearing four fit, when you're weighing 450.
[00:07:56]  You have one.
[00:07:56]  Forward.
[00:07:57]  Doggy style.
[00:07:58]  That's it.
[00:07:58]  Oh, you don't lay on your back?
[00:08:00]  No.
[00:08:00]  She's going to spray on the back.
[00:08:01]  Chick try to do that.
[00:08:02]  She dislocated the wood.
[00:08:04]  Like, trying to do that.
[00:08:04]  You got to think about this.
[00:08:06]  If you got to lay down and you 486 and she got to straddle you, it's like riding a double seat.
[00:08:11]  You're going to be spraying on a pomo horse.
[00:08:13]  For real.
[00:08:14]  Like, for real.
[00:08:15]  She got to dismount.
[00:08:17]  It was tough.
[00:08:18]  And it was like, you know, you try to get on top, you're taking a chance.
[00:08:22]  I had it.
[00:08:22]  I told this story on one of our podcasts.
[00:08:24]  Like, a chick was like, you know, because when you're big, you don't want to let all your weight go.
[00:08:28]  And so a chick was like, she was like, no, those other bitches act like that.
[00:08:31]  You give it all to me.
[00:08:32]  Give it all to me, daddy.
[00:08:33]  I said, what?
[00:08:34]  She was like, put all your.
[00:08:35]  So she was like, put all your weight on me.
[00:08:36]  I said, all right.
[00:08:37]  So I put it on.
[00:08:38]  As soon as I did, she was like, but not all of it.
[00:08:43]  Wait, wait.
[00:08:44]  Somebody get this to go back.
[00:08:47]  Like, so she didn't know what she was asking for.
[00:08:49]  You mean you were on top of a girl?
[00:08:52]  It wasn't, it wasn't.
[00:08:53]  You don't let all the weight go on her.
[00:08:54]  Big dudes know you hold your arms up like this.
[00:08:57]  But she wanted me to just kind of just really.
[00:08:59]  So you basically blanking.
[00:09:00]  Yes, I was blanking the whole time.
[00:09:02]  Your core probably was super strong back then.
[00:09:04]  Yeah, it was, it was, but the dick was trash, though.
[00:09:06]  The dick was trash.
[00:09:07]  But now the dick is on point.
[00:09:08]  Man, you lost how much again?
[00:09:10]  So I started at 486, and as of a couple days ago, I was 262.
[00:09:14]  So how'd you do it?
[00:09:16]  You dieted?
[00:09:17]  Well, no, that's the thing.
[00:09:17]  I got so that's the thing.
[00:09:18]  So people would be thinking I cheated the system because I got weight loss surgery.
[00:09:21]  So I got weight loss surgery in 2015.
[00:09:23]  They think you cheated too because you cheated.
[00:09:27]  They think I cheated.
[00:09:30]  See how he gets on?
[00:09:32]  I'm making it sensitive.
[00:09:34]  See, this is the fucked up thing.
[00:09:35]  Because so I got weight loss surgery.
[00:09:36]  I got the gastric sleeve.
[00:09:37]  So yeah, I started losing weight.
[00:09:38]  But what people don't understand is like I have what was called like basically a transfer of addiction because I couldn't eat food anymore.
[00:09:44]  But then I started drinking.
[00:09:45]  So I was drinking like a bottle a day.
[00:09:47]  And so then it was like a whole thing.
[00:09:48]  I became like a whole functioning alcoholic.
[00:09:50]  Went to realboy.
[00:09:52]  No, that's not accurate because you were not functioning.
[00:09:55]  Wow, I know Doughboy from Wilding Out to the Twitter.
[00:09:58]  Doughboy and I were on Wilding Out together.
[00:10:00]  He was cool.
[00:10:00]  We were cool.
[00:10:01]  I'd make fun of him from being fat.
[00:10:02]  He'd make fun of me for being brown.
[00:10:03]  Whatever.
[00:10:04]  That was the relationship.
[00:10:05]  But then we would do these colleges together.
[00:10:07]  Oh, yeah.
[00:10:08]  And anytime Doughboy was at a college with me and I went to the hotel, they were like, Do you want one king?
[00:10:12]  I was like, nah, Doughboy gonna have his own fucking two doubles.
[00:10:16]  And every time Doughboy would pretend he had a place to stay, and then at the end of the day, he'd be like, yo, man, where are you staying at?
[00:10:21]  Every fucking time.
[00:10:22]  Absolutely.
[00:10:23]  Every time.
[00:10:24]  Just come hang out for a little bit.
[00:10:25]  You got XBOs.
[00:10:28]  Why are you taking a shower?
[00:10:29]  I was just hot.
[00:10:31]  This cow says go sleep by the self.
[00:10:34]  The fact that you willingly went out of town.
[00:10:37]  He's a good guy.
[00:10:38]  Oh, that was your plan.
[00:10:40]  I'm going to just lean on my boy here.
[00:10:41]  And I knew.
[00:10:42]  The fact that you went from getting your right-sized bed to just, let me just go out and get these two beds out of the way.
[00:10:47]  You're going to be homeless, man.
[00:10:48]  Come on.
[00:10:49]  Ain't nobody going to give his big ass money.
[00:10:51]  Yeah, it was tough.
[00:10:52]  Doubleway has that effect on people.
[00:10:53]  People want to help.
[00:10:54]  People want to help.
[00:10:55]  Doubleboy got $15,000 from Russell Simmons at All Death for losing 200 pounds.
[00:11:00]  And he lost 100.
[00:11:04]  I ain't going.
[00:11:05]  I was trying to figure out how to get there.
[00:11:07]  I was trying to figure out how to do that.
[00:11:08]  As soon as I said that, I was like, all of a sudden, Russ fled to Sri Lanka so goddamn fast.
[00:11:15]  One hashtag me too.
[00:11:16]  He was like, I'm out of here.
[00:11:17]  Let me meditate with these Thai motherfuckers.
[00:11:20]  But he gave me 15K and I was like, you're losing 200 pounds.
[00:11:23]  And Doughboy lost like 150.
[00:11:24]  He was like, he won't really know the difference.
[00:11:26]  So Doughboy was like, I'm not going to get to 200.
[00:11:29]  I just bet you he won't ask.
[00:11:30]  I was like, I did it today.
[00:11:31]  He was like, all right.
[00:11:34]  I lost the weight, but then like I was a full functioning alcoholic.
[00:11:37]  I went to rehab.
[00:11:38]  Shit got raided by the FBI.
[00:11:40]  I came home like I came home like Jesus must want me to drink again.
[00:11:44]  Hold on, who got raided by the drink?
[00:11:46]  No, the rehab facility I went to, they were doing like some foul shit.
[00:11:49]  They were like creating fake insurance policy for people.
[00:11:52]  They were like, so I'm there for two weeks, like judging everybody.
[00:11:55]  Like, y'all are really alcoholics.
[00:11:56]  I was seeing people drink hand sanitizer.
[00:11:58]  It was a whole thing.
[00:12:00]  And then the FBI came in, and I was like, oh, Jesus must want me to keep drinking.
[00:12:05]  What say you?
[00:12:06]  What say you?
[00:12:07]  I don't think Jesus was like, you know what?
[00:12:09]  You're not done with this.
[00:12:10]  Think about it.
[00:12:11]  So they turn it from water into Snapple.
[00:12:15]  It was wide.
[00:12:17]  It was wide.
[00:12:17]  And then I came back out.
[00:12:18]  And so, like, for the next six months, I kept drinking and drinking.
[00:12:21]  And he was actually my boss this time over at All Deaf.
[00:12:23]  And he almost had to fire me because I came in late on a shoot and shit.
[00:12:27]  And then I finally was just like, all right, let me go get sober.
[00:12:29]  So I haven't had a drink since November 22nd, 2017.
[00:12:32]  Damn, bro.
[00:12:33]  2017?
[00:12:34]  2017?
[00:12:34]  It was going on three years.
[00:12:35]  Dang.
[00:12:37]  That went by fast.
[00:12:37]  Well, it's for me.
[00:12:38]  I don't have to personally struggle with that.
[00:12:41]  I probably felt like that.
[00:12:42]  So I like this.
[00:12:43]  So you guys have a podcast where it just started with you guys going back and forth about these things.
[00:12:48]  And you're this pious dude.
[00:12:50]  I wouldn't even say that.
[00:12:51]  It's just Doughboy was really wilding out.
[00:12:53]  Kev is.
[00:12:54]  I respect Kev because he's a religious person that doesn't put on airs, doesn't pretend to be holier than thou.
[00:12:59]  He just, God is the center of his life.
[00:13:01]  And you don't have to be like him.
[00:13:03]  If you want advice, he'll give it to you.
[00:13:04]  How nice is that?
[00:13:05]  Having God be the center.
[00:13:06]  That's just the, I feel like I never heard it described that way, but that is literally it.
[00:13:10]  Like, I feel like, because I used to get, I got so much crap for moving to LA.
[00:13:14]  I remember one deacon was like, you moving to the land of sinking sand.
[00:13:17]  You know, like it's one other girl, that's what he said for real.
[00:13:20]  One of the girls was like, you moving to LA?
[00:13:22]  That's just full of people who try to make it.
[00:13:23]  I was like, yeah.
[00:13:28]  But, you know, so people would get mad because I would do comedy and comedy clubs.
[00:13:32]  Like, how can you do that and be around those people?
[00:13:33]  Like, bro, like, this is my job.
[00:13:35]  Like, this is what I do for a living.
[00:13:37]  I can't practice.
[00:13:38]  There's no Christian comedy club.
[00:13:39]  If you want to be good at comedy, you have to practice in comedy clubs with drunks, get heckled.
[00:13:44]  Otherwise, you're trash.
[00:13:44]  You know what I'm saying?
[00:13:45]  So, have you done it in churches before?
[00:13:47]  Oh, yeah.
[00:13:48]  Oh, yeah.
[00:13:49]  I've done in churches, colleges, comedy.
[00:13:51]  This new tour is all comedy clubs because the material is a little more risque for me.
[00:13:55]  But churches, churches are the best venues ever.
[00:13:58]  They have great sound systems.
[00:13:59]  They're not in the business of renting out their stuff.
[00:14:01]  So they're not like trying to get rich.
[00:14:03]  So they like me.
[00:14:04]  They're like, man, we'll do it for free.
[00:14:05]  We'll give you volunteers.
[00:14:06]  They got crazy amount of seats, great parking.
[00:14:09]  Like, literally, I was like, this is fantastic.
[00:14:13]  So my agent was like, nah, comedy clubs.
[00:14:14]  I'm like, no, sure.
[00:14:16]  Like 100% of the door at the church.
[00:14:18]  How do they pay?
[00:14:20]  Past the bucket?
[00:14:21]  No, no.
[00:14:21]  They're right.
[00:14:22]  Tickets.
[00:14:23]  Oh, they sell tickets?
[00:14:24]  Yeah, I sell tickets.
[00:14:25]  And now, do you give 10% of Jesus or anything?
[00:14:28]  Personal ties?
[00:14:29]  Yeah, yeah.
[00:14:30]  I mean, it depends.
[00:14:34]  Jesus didn't work out with CNN.
[00:14:40]  Talk to my agent about that.
[00:14:41]  That's the thing that sucks about Asians, man.
[00:14:44]  You taking a worse.
[00:14:46]  And the club is a good deal.
[00:14:47]  Like, the door deal, 80% is a relatively good deal.
[00:14:50]  Then you got to pay your agent.
[00:14:51]  So you're getting like 70% of the door.
[00:14:54]  Like, that's a lot to give away.
[00:14:56]  When you were getting 100% at bigger venues, fill it up.
[00:15:02]  Now, because did you have a big following off the podcast or ADD to fill it up?
[00:15:06]  No.
[00:15:06]  Because churches see a lot of people.
[00:15:07]  Yeah, churches see a lot of people.
[00:15:09]  So I had a lot of fans from like just my social media: Facebook, Instagram, YouTube.
[00:15:15]  All Deaf gave me a lot of fans, but a lot of all deaf fans don't buy tickets.

=== Fat Martin vs Skinny Martin (15:16) ===

[00:15:19]  They're 12.
[00:15:19]  They're like super young, so they don't buy tickets.
[00:15:22]  They don't buy merch.
[00:15:22]  They just engage with the concept.
[00:15:23]  Yeah, too young to.
[00:15:25]  Yeah.
[00:15:26]  Oh, my God.
[00:15:28]  I didn't even hear it clearly.
[00:15:30]  It came around the other ear.
[00:15:31]  I was like, oh, so that's what he says.
[00:15:35]  But so I would say it's a lot of the, I started going viral doing church videos about the black church and stuff like that.
[00:15:42]  So it's pretty much that audience.
[00:15:44]  And then it's grown to the righteous ragged audience, the love hour podcast audience.
[00:15:47]  I do my wife.
[00:15:48]  I love it.
[00:15:48]  So yeah.
[00:15:48]  I don't know why anybody would leave it.
[00:15:50]  Nah.
[00:15:51]  There's this like weird, maybe there's this weird pressure comics put on ourselves.
[00:15:54]  We're like, we want to make it in the traditional way.
[00:15:57]  Oh, it's just prestige.
[00:15:58]  Dumb, like, bro.
[00:15:59]  My agent was trying to get me to go.
[00:16:01]  Like, theaters?
[00:16:02]  The theater deals are the worst deals ever.
[00:16:04]  They're literally the worst.
[00:16:05]  They're literally like somewhere like 50%.
[00:16:08]  Yeah.
[00:16:09]  After like a huge, like seven, eight thousand dollar minimum.
[00:16:12]  Like, this is literally the you know, my agent was like, but the prestige, like, bro, prestige don't pay no bills.
[00:16:17]  100%.
[00:16:18]  Prestige don't pay no bills.
[00:16:20]  D.L. You got to do it is for timing.
[00:16:22]  Yeah.
[00:16:23]  It's like, I only have this much time in this place.
[00:16:25]  There's no way I can get 2,500 people.
[00:16:27]  Or you could, if you can sell 150 and up ticket prices, then it makes sense.
[00:16:31]  Oh, that's another thing.
[00:16:32]  Yeah.
[00:16:32]  Yeah.
[00:16:32]  If you can sell big tickets.
[00:16:34]  Exactly.
[00:16:34]  Like, you mean actually per ticket?
[00:16:36]  Yeah, yeah, per ticket.
[00:16:38]  I don't like to do like gouged the fan too much.
[00:16:39]  No, no, no.
[00:16:40]  I understand.
[00:16:40]  Like, if you're a guy like Jim Gaffing and, like, that's what you do for the future.
[00:16:42]  That's what I'm talking about.
[00:16:43]  You know what I mean?
[00:16:44]  Or any of these guys.
[00:16:45]  But yeah, because you can't charge $100 at the comedy club.
[00:16:47]  It's a little foul.
[00:16:49]  Absolutely not.
[00:16:49]  But yeah, the theater thing, I feel like comics are so excited to do theaters because I feel like they feel like it validates them and stuff.
[00:16:55]  Yeah.
[00:16:55]  It's like, bro, like.
[00:16:56]  Bro, it's a business first.
[00:16:58]  The theaters also don't promote.
[00:16:59]  The clubs, a lot of clubs have return people.
[00:17:01]  They got people just coming because they like the club.
[00:17:03]  You know, the theater is like, bro, you got to sell every single ticket.
[00:17:06]  Someone told me this.
[00:17:07]  I forget who told me.
[00:17:08]  They were like, if you're selling out clubs, that don't mean you're going to sell out theaters because the club has something built in.
[00:17:13]  They're like, if you do a theater, everybody that goes there is your fan.
[00:17:18]  Yes.
[00:17:19]  Nobody goes, why don't we go to the theater too?
[00:17:21]  Yes, absolutely.
[00:17:22]  That's real tough.
[00:17:23]  The comedy club is.
[00:17:24]  I don't think they might do that.
[00:17:25]  They might just pull up.
[00:17:26]  Except for years on the road, that's how people came to see all of us, I'm sure.
[00:17:30]  No clue the fuck we were.
[00:17:31]  Just coming up anyway.
[00:17:33]  But you don't do that for a theater.
[00:17:34]  You got to know.
[00:17:35]  You have to tell them.
[00:17:36]  You know what I'm saying?
[00:17:37]  So it costs you a lot in marketing, you know, ad buys, all that type of stuff.
[00:17:41]  So the clubs, I could do this forever.
[00:17:43]  That's why Deal Hughley, them big people, they still be in the club.
[00:17:46]  Because they're sold out weekend, four or five hundred seats.
[00:17:49]  Bro, you're making 50, 60, 70 grand if you can sell out all those cities.
[00:17:52]  You know what I'm saying?
[00:17:53]  Like, that's big money.
[00:17:55]  That's real money.
[00:17:57]  Low, low, low work for you.
[00:18:00]  They got people there working and theaters, you got to hire everybody in there and their union.
[00:18:06]  And there's no, you can't even negotiate.
[00:18:07]  That's crazy.
[00:18:07]  Like, when I got your own people to run.
[00:18:09]  No, the venue will be like, you got to have four police officers.
[00:18:12]  We were in New York, and we had to be out at the exact moment.
[00:18:15]  Oh, they're not playing around with none of that stuff.
[00:18:18]  They're not playing.
[00:18:18]  They'll charge you crazy if you overextend.
[00:18:22]  What?
[00:18:22]  No, I ain't.
[00:18:23]  Say you're crazy before you eat.
[00:18:25]  If you don't have a church, what do you do?
[00:18:26]  If you don't, if anybody's like, for Doughboy, you're a heathen.
[00:18:31]  Don't worry, and I have talked about going on the road.
[00:18:33]  Right.
[00:18:34]  Because I'm going to hell.
[00:18:35]  They think Doe's going to hell with that.
[00:18:36]  Comedy Club off-night.
[00:18:38]  Yeah.
[00:18:38]  Off-night is the best way to get in.
[00:18:41]  Because if you can prove you can sell an off-night full, then the club will look at you like, oh, snap, you sold a Sunday night out Tuesday, a Wednesday on your own.
[00:18:48]  Like, and the comedy clubs aren't doing nothing.
[00:18:50]  Like, it's, it's all gravy for them if you can actually sell.
[00:18:53]  Um, other than that, you got to do non-traditional venues, colleges, high schools.
[00:18:57]  Well, then you run the risk of you know the quality of venue being completely different.
[00:19:02]  They're going to try to pay you in hot wings.
[00:19:03]  Yeah, we had that last year, bro.
[00:19:05]  We had a show in Cincinnati.
[00:19:06]  We were in our high school.
[00:19:07]  We got there super early.
[00:19:08]  What racist is that to try to pay you two in hot wings?
[00:19:12]  You know how that comes like, hey man, you see the dough didn't really do what it was supposed to do.
[00:19:14]  Oh, the promoter.
[00:19:15]  Yeah, I hate that.
[00:19:16]  So don't come into that conversation.
[00:19:18]  Hell no.
[00:19:18]  Yeah, but we were at a high school and the janitor was like, oh man, we forgot y'all was even supposed to be here.
[00:19:22]  Luckily, I was just at work.
[00:19:24]  But they didn't know how to turn the lights on.
[00:19:25]  They didn't know how to work the soundboard.
[00:19:26]  They was like, y'all can go in there.
[00:19:28]  And I was like, we don't know how to run a whole lot of things.
[00:19:30]  I got a contract.
[00:19:32]  So we went back there, turned the lights on, ran the soundboard ourselves.
[00:19:35]  Like, literally had to do it like that.
[00:19:37]  And that's why I was like, bro, we can't be doing that.
[00:19:38]  People are paying their money.
[00:19:39]  They're not really trying to.
[00:19:40]  But the school is like 400 bucks because they don't care.
[00:19:44]  But then you also get there's nobody there because they're not available.
[00:19:47]  You don't get what you pay for.
[00:19:48]  Exactly.
[00:19:48]  And your audience ain't trying to hear none of that.
[00:19:50]  Nope.
[00:19:51]  They don't want to hear nothing.
[00:19:52]  Nope.
[00:19:53]  Yeah, the comedy clubs are really, they're a perfect, they're a perfect venue, man.
[00:19:58]  It's just, they're a perfect venue.
[00:19:59]  There's one thing that you change, obviously, which is the check drop.
[00:20:03]  Yeah.
[00:20:03]  You know, for some reason, the check gets dropped during the comedian set.
[00:20:08]  It's infuriating.
[00:20:08]  I've never.
[00:20:09]  And it's usually the best part of your set.
[00:20:11]  Son, sometimes they'll drop it as soon as 15 minutes into the set because they want to stagger it throughout.
[00:20:16]  Yeah.
[00:20:16]  And the bad thing about the nice thing about staggering is the idea is like, okay, the whole room won't be paying bills.
[00:20:23]  The shitty thing about staggering is the whole room ends up paying bills.
[00:20:26]  Right.
[00:20:26]  This one is finishing.
[00:20:27]  Well, this one started.
[00:20:28]  I've got 90% of the fucking room not paying any attention.
[00:20:32]  And I don't understand.
[00:20:33]  I ask every single club I go to, I go, why do you guys drop it at the end?
[00:20:36]  And nobody has an answer.
[00:20:38]  It does, but it's a law system.
[00:20:40]  And it's hard to get someone to laugh who's double-checking.
[00:20:43]  Make sure art.
[00:20:44]  I ain't have no wings.
[00:20:45]  What?
[00:20:45]  Nah, nah.
[00:20:46]  Hey, man, hold up.
[00:20:47]  Hold up, my boy.
[00:20:48]  I don't have no wings.
[00:20:49]  Like, bro, nothing's funny when your money's mixed up.
[00:20:51]  Absolutely.
[00:20:52]  Because people don't even want to pay the two items.
[00:20:54]  They only do it because they have to.
[00:20:56]  Bro, when you have like a group of six that are dividing up a pill.
[00:20:59]  I didn't eat none of them natural.
[00:21:01]  I would not be putting it on that.
[00:21:03]  Bro, I've almost stepped in and paid a bill.
[00:21:07]  How much is $100 so you guys don't have to do math and episode?
[00:21:10]  That's the worst shit.
[00:21:11]  Why even be out if that's what you got to do?
[00:21:15]  We've been there.
[00:21:16]  Stop acting like you was ready to go.
[00:21:17]  Stop leaving it.
[00:21:18]  It was like, oh, I'm going to go to the bathroom.
[00:21:23]  You know, this bracelet, I want to fuck with a fair like I got it.
[00:21:25]  Shit.
[00:21:27]  That's dad.
[00:21:28]  You hawk that shit for a fucking Christmas or whatever you order.
[00:21:31]  Your boy would get excited about food, boy.
[00:21:33]  Oh, I still do.
[00:21:35]  Can you still eat?
[00:21:36]  I can, but it's weird.
[00:21:37]  Like, I can't eat too much.
[00:21:38]  I'll throw up.
[00:21:39]  That was a whole thing.
[00:21:39]  It's a fucking surgery you got.
[00:21:41]  I know, but no, but it was a lot of stuff.
[00:21:42]  That's weird.
[00:21:43]  The bypass did his job.
[00:21:45]  He didn't really grasp the concept of that, though.
[00:21:48]  Tell him about your last supper before your body.
[00:21:51]  Oh, it was a very epic day.
[00:21:53]  Teddy was there.
[00:21:54]  We ate everything.
[00:21:55]  Teddy's still thinking about it.
[00:21:58]  We lived in the bottom.
[00:22:00]  What all did we have?
[00:22:01]  I think we had fish.
[00:22:02]  Teddy said that shit like you're talking to an old rock star about gookies.
[00:22:06]  Tell him about that time you took tomatoes.
[00:22:10]  Hot rose sliders.
[00:22:12]  Like, Bob Rose sliders, yes.
[00:22:16]  Oh, we had a big tray.
[00:22:18]  We did do that.
[00:22:19]  Oh, yeah.
[00:22:19]  We got the whole nugget tray.
[00:22:22]  Me, it was just me and Shaw.
[00:22:23]  You and Ted?
[00:22:23]  Yeah, man.
[00:22:24]  You were.
[00:22:25]  That kid was there, too.
[00:22:26]  That's my daughter.
[00:22:27]  Yeah, I was like, five dozen.
[00:22:29]  You took part in it, but you weren't getting the surgery.
[00:22:34]  You're like, yeah, man, that's going to be different.
[00:22:38]  Making sure my money.
[00:22:42]  I don't want nothing.
[00:22:43]  Oh, and that's crazy.
[00:22:46]  I'm the worst candidate for the gas.
[00:22:47]  I didn't do nothing right.
[00:22:49]  They told me to talk to a therapist.
[00:22:51]  I was like, black people don't do that.
[00:22:52]  Oh, my hair.
[00:22:53]  So I didn't do that.
[00:22:54]  They told me don't.
[00:22:55]  Listen to that, Charlemagne.
[00:22:57]  You can ask Kev.
[00:22:58]  They told me certain foods not to eat.
[00:23:00]  I was eating everything.
[00:23:01]  Like, I would literally go to lunch every day and try to eat food.
[00:23:03]  So I remember we went on the road.
[00:23:05]  Yeah.
[00:23:05]  Like two wings.
[00:23:07]  I was like, I'll be right back.
[00:23:08]  It's like my stomach will be sitting there waiting for me to put the food down.
[00:23:10]  We get down to it and be like, eh?
[00:23:15]  Kev would always eat leisure because he knew I wasn't going to finish my food.
[00:23:18]  But he never stopped ordering like he didn't have orders.
[00:23:22]  He's like, let me get three.
[00:23:23]  Yeah.
[00:23:23]  But you want, Kevin, I'm good.
[00:23:24]  He would wait till I was like, okay, cool, cool.
[00:23:28]  So he was like, you know, budgeting, eating off the shit that I wasn't going to eat.
[00:23:31]  So, yeah.
[00:23:32]  Nobody's thrown a lot of food away.
[00:23:33]  I throw a lot of food away.
[00:23:34]  I threw away a lot.
[00:23:35]  And I was throwing up a lot.
[00:23:36]  And then just the drinking, I thought, like, okay, I can't eat, so I can't drink.
[00:23:41]  That was a lie.
[00:23:42]  I was absolutely able to drink.
[00:23:43]  Okay.
[00:23:44]  Smith a night.
[00:23:45]  That's 17 shots.
[00:23:46]  A lot.
[00:23:47]  That was a lot of alcohol, man.
[00:23:48]  That's 17 shots.
[00:23:49]  No, 38.
[00:23:51]  38.
[00:23:52]  No, whatever.
[00:23:53]  Don't play 45.
[00:23:54]  That got him a light bun.
[00:23:55]  No, but I was doing that when I was like 280 to not.
[00:23:59]  I was still.
[00:24:00]  And the thing is, when you get your stomach cut, me drinking a whole bottle is like a regular person drinking two.
[00:24:05]  Right.
[00:24:05]  I was a mess, man.
[00:24:07]  So now your stomach, now your stomach is still shrunk.
[00:24:10]  But it grew back a little bit.
[00:24:11]  So that's the thing people don't understand.
[00:24:13]  You can still gain weight back.
[00:24:15]  You ain't no punk, bro.
[00:24:17]  Stop this, bro.
[00:24:18]  You got a little surgery.
[00:24:20]  I'm going to still eat some food.
[00:24:21]  Absolutely.
[00:24:22]  You got to fight that.
[00:24:22]  You got to get your stomach back to regular size, bro.
[00:24:25]  I'll be doing cookie conditioning.
[00:24:26]  Like, it was, I just eat cookies.
[00:24:28]  I ate two today, but tomorrow we going for three in this bitch.
[00:24:31]  For real.
[00:24:31]  I ain't no quitter.
[00:24:32]  Cookie conditioning.
[00:24:34]  Three more reps.
[00:24:37]  For real.
[00:24:38]  So, yeah.
[00:24:38]  Oh, this is too good.
[00:24:41]  So somebody could get that surgery and then they get fat again completely.
[00:24:46]  They say the leading cause of death in that surgery is suicide because people will lose the weight, gain it back, and then feel so much shame and be like, man.
[00:24:54]  That's probably valid.
[00:24:55]  Yeah.
[00:24:55]  So it's like a real mental thing that people go through.
[00:24:58]  And then people, some people hate themselves how they look with the loose skin afterwards.
[00:25:02]  That's another thing.
[00:25:04]  That's where you got lucky.
[00:25:05]  I got lucky.
[00:25:06]  But people still say it to me.
[00:25:07]  They be like, no, no, he has it.
[00:25:08]  But it's not as bad as some people.
[00:25:10]  You want to talk about your face.
[00:25:11]  Some people's face.
[00:25:12]  Some people.
[00:25:13]  Remember when Jonah Hill got skinny and he just looked like a sponge?
[00:25:17]  Yeah.
[00:25:17]  Remember him?
[00:25:18]  I seen him the other day.
[00:25:19]  He looked like he's back at a cool size shoe.
[00:25:22]  He's great.
[00:25:22]  Yeah.
[00:25:23]  I feel like he's not supposed to be.
[00:25:24]  Bro, I was just about to say that.
[00:25:26]  I think certain people have a certain body type.
[00:25:28]  Yeah.
[00:25:28]  And outside.
[00:25:29]  They're supposed to be skinny.
[00:25:30]  Are you saying that because you don't want to lose?
[00:25:31]  Absolutely.
[00:25:33]  The fact that you caught me out on it, I don't appreciate that.
[00:25:36]  But when I be like, man, this is actually, I think this is what I should be.
[00:25:40]  I think this is what I should be.
[00:25:42]  Yo, go to hell.
[00:25:42]  Yes.
[00:25:43]  Like, I would look sick.
[00:25:45]  If I got to like Andrew's size, you look sick.
[00:25:47]  I would look sick.
[00:25:48]  Hey, guess what?
[00:25:49]  I look sick.
[00:25:52]  You think I look like the pinnacle of health?
[00:25:54]  No.
[00:25:55]  See, he looks like two different people.
[00:25:56]  Wow.
[00:25:56]  I know, though.
[00:25:57]  I didn't even realize he got that small.
[00:25:58]  See, I have a theory about this.
[00:26:00]  I feel like.
[00:26:00]  It's like HIV Wolverine.
[00:26:05]  Bam.
[00:26:07]  Zoom in on that pic, Martin.
[00:26:09]  Look at him with that smack full of fucking red blood cells around his face.
[00:26:16]  I have a theory about people's sizes.
[00:26:18]  I'm dead behind my eyes.
[00:26:19]  Let me ask y'all this.
[00:26:20]  I want y'all to answer this honestly because I believe you will.
[00:26:22]  All right.
[00:26:22]  Have you both seen Bad Boys 3?
[00:26:23]  Please tell me yes.
[00:26:25]  God dang it.
[00:26:27]  I believe.
[00:26:27]  Yeah.
[00:26:28]  I seen it.
[00:26:29]  I thought it was trash.
[00:26:30]  I believe.
[00:26:31]  He's a good one.
[00:26:32]  I believe the theory is Fat Martin ain't funny.
[00:26:34]  I knew.
[00:26:35]  Yo, I believe this.
[00:26:36]  Fat Martin is not funny.
[00:26:37]  He's a physical comedian that relied heavily, no pun intended, on the physicality.
[00:26:42]  Yes, and it's like when he's not that, it's like, I feel like once you get to know a person and find a person funny, once they, if their body type changes, you're like, ooh, this is weird.
[00:26:51]  This is, this is definitely.
[00:26:52]  I'm not familiar with friends.
[00:26:53]  People clown me for that.
[00:26:54]  But when Chandler got fat and fat.
[00:26:59]  Hey, don't question my chandler being love.
[00:27:02]  Look at Buck.
[00:27:03]  People would say he looked like he was dressed up in Big Mama's house.
[00:27:06]  He does it.
[00:27:08]  And I'm not hating.
[00:27:09]  And I love Martin.
[00:27:10]  So please, I hope I don't want Martin to see this and think I hate him.
[00:27:12]  But I'm like, bruh, the fat, like Fat Martin, it just don't do it for me.
[00:27:16]  Martin ain't been small in a while, though.
[00:27:18]  He been really hitting the jokes in the broad.
[00:27:20]  Holy shit.
[00:27:21]  I'm just, I'm just for his level of comedy.
[00:27:24]  See, now I'm gonna sound like a hate.
[00:27:25]  Bro, he is.
[00:27:27]  I know.
[00:27:27]  No, no, no.
[00:27:28]  I get it, Maker.
[00:27:29]  Oh, my look.
[00:27:30]  Come on.
[00:27:30]  Bro, you know what's funny about that next?
[00:27:32]  Squirrel, man.
[00:27:33]  Looking.
[00:27:38]  Fat Martin, come on.
[00:27:40]  Fat Martin don't look like that.
[00:27:41]  You ain't really laughing at Fat Martin like you're like Skinny Martin, bro.
[00:27:44]  No, Skinny Martin was so good.
[00:27:45]  Skinny Martin was.
[00:27:46]  Now pull up Skinny Martin.
[00:27:47]  Skinny Martin.
[00:27:48]  You're gonna say he looked funnier just by the look.
[00:27:51]  He looks funnier.
[00:27:52]  Look at that.
[00:27:52]  Come on, man.
[00:27:53]  He definitely looks funnier, bro.
[00:27:55]  Fat Martin is not the same.
[00:27:57]  He just doesn't go like.
[00:27:58]  It's so tragic.
[00:28:00]  No, go back to Fat Martin again.
[00:28:02]  Let's look at it.
[00:28:03]  Yeah, look at that.
[00:28:04]  That's him today.
[00:28:04]  That's him right now, Tom.
[00:28:09]  I'm sorry, Fat Martin.
[00:28:11]  What you're talking?
[00:28:12]  Fat Martin is funny.
[00:28:13]  Fat Martin.
[00:28:14]  Sorry, Fat Martin.
[00:28:16]  I'm calling him Fat Martin.
[00:28:18]  And I tried to watch it, too.
[00:28:20]  I'm like, I'm going to give Fat Martin the benefit of the doubt.
[00:28:22]  Like, shut up.
[00:28:25]  I remember like you basted him.
[00:28:27]  Like, he always looks going fat lips.
[00:28:30]  Yeah.
[00:28:31]  He's been through a lot.
[00:28:32]  Remember when Professor Klump was changing from the fat one?
[00:28:36]  That's what Martin looks like.
[00:28:38]  Hand just swole up and everything.
[00:28:40]  Are we face?
[00:28:41]  Is this a form of fat shaming?
[00:28:42]  Yes.
[00:28:46]  Akash is a fan of fat shaming.
[00:28:48]  I'm a proponent.
[00:28:51]  He's fat.
[00:28:52]  Yeah.
[00:28:52]  Oh, he wasn't.
[00:28:54]  He was childhood.
[00:28:55]  We didn't believe him.
[00:28:56]  He had childhood obesity.
[00:28:57]  You had a childhood obesity.
[00:28:58]  Probably.
[00:28:59]  That's why I didn't know.
[00:29:00]  How did you get your parents just letting you eat whatever you wanted?
[00:29:02]  Yeah, man.
[00:29:02]  They love me too much.
[00:29:03]  We're not enough.
[00:29:06]  I think I had one each.
[00:29:10]  The confusion led to a great game.
[00:29:12]  Just eat it or don't.
[00:29:13]  I don't care.
[00:29:15]  Mom was like, no, you're great, however, you are.
[00:29:16]  And dad was like, I don't give a fuck.
[00:29:18]  What are you going to do?
[00:29:20]  See, that was tough for me because I was the only fat person in my family.
[00:29:22]  So I used to think I was like, ah, I was like, was it because you ate all the food?
[00:29:26]  Yeah.
[00:29:27]  But you would just think, how come don't nobody else look like me here?
[00:29:30]  Because you're eating all the food.
[00:29:33]  I was a growing boy.
[00:29:35]  You were 28.
[00:29:36]  I used to always tell myself.
[00:29:40]  Son, don't.
[00:29:40]  How old are you?
[00:29:41]  38?
[00:29:41]  I'm 40.
[00:29:42]  I just said.
[00:29:42]  Don't look 40, huh?
[00:29:44]  Yes, man.
[00:29:44]  Actually, it's good you lost it because then it starts being problematic.
[00:29:48]  And, you know, all Joe's aside, the number one thing was, like, I was like, I don't really be seeing 300-pound 60-year-olds.
[00:29:54]  Fat, no.
[00:29:55]  You know what I'm saying?
[00:29:55]  You don't really see 300 pounds 70-year-olds.
[00:29:58]  You got to live here.
[00:29:58]  Fat don't travel well.
[00:30:00]  So I was like, I got to get down to the point where I want to live.
[00:30:03]  Travels, it just needs two seats.
[00:30:04]  Absolutely.
[00:30:05]  Yo, when I was in Japan, I was on a roller coaster and it wouldn't click.
[00:30:10]  And they brought out the extender.
[00:30:11]  I was like, I'll walk home from Japan.
[00:30:13]  I would rather die with this thing not clicking than you have to bring an extender out here.
[00:30:18]  I would perish.
[00:30:19]  I would die before I let you put that on.
[00:30:21]  So be like, we wrote it with this extender.
[00:30:25]  Clearly, you wrote it.
[00:30:26]  Clearly, wrote it with the extender.
[00:30:28]  I told myself it's because I was tall, though.
[00:30:29]  What was more remarkable to them was that you were black or that you were that fat.

=== Dark Skinned Night Life (03:20) ===

[00:30:35]  I didn't really get no black thing.
[00:30:37]  Like, everybody always says when you go overseas, black, this, black, that.
[00:30:40]  I've been overseas a lot.
[00:30:41]  I don't really get like, also, we live in America.
[00:30:44]  It's hard being black here.
[00:30:46]  Yeah.
[00:30:46]  The police skilling it.
[00:30:47]  Nah.
[00:30:48]  Nah, Akasha.
[00:30:50]  I know Americans and I know Indians.
[00:30:51]  Indians hate y'all more.
[00:30:52]  Do they?
[00:30:53]  For sure.
[00:30:53]  Than white people?
[00:30:55]  I don't know.
[00:30:56]  I don't.
[00:30:56]  You mean Indian people in Indian people?
[00:30:58]  Dark Indians.
[00:31:00]  You know what?
[00:31:00]  Dark in every race is the worst.
[00:31:03]  Except foods.
[00:31:05]  Nah, I'm serious.
[00:31:06]  Dark-skinned black dudes get more love than you.
[00:31:08]  That's celebrities, though.
[00:31:09]  Dark-skinned regular dudes.
[00:31:10]  Wait, but Indians don't mess with black people?
[00:31:12]  What?
[00:31:12]  Alex, do you think you're light?
[00:31:14]  Yeah, I'm in the middle.
[00:31:16]  Yeah.
[00:31:16]  Yeah.
[00:31:17]  I'm dark.
[00:31:18]  You're closer to dark-skinned.
[00:31:19]  You're not.
[00:31:20]  You're not darker than you.
[00:31:22]  That don't mean you're dark.
[00:31:24]  I'm not that dark-skinned.
[00:31:25]  Shut up.
[00:31:26]  Barely.
[00:31:26]  That was a dark-skinned food right there.
[00:31:29]  I got dark skinny.
[00:31:31]  You might, dude.
[00:31:33]  You saw he did that?
[00:31:34]  Shut up.
[00:31:35]  And you're all light-skinned back.
[00:31:40]  Ain't it funny that as soon as Charlamagne got light-skinned, he started talking about therapy and anxiety.
[00:31:47]  Is that a coincidence?
[00:31:51]  Yo.
[00:31:53]  Watch me, Shaw.
[00:31:55]  I gotta feel my feelings now.
[00:31:56]  I bet you do, Charlotte.
[00:31:58]  Hey, let's take a break for a second, pay some bills.
[00:32:02]  If you're watching on YouTube, you can see that we're in yet another location.
[00:32:06]  That's right.
[00:32:06]  We're serving you looks this episode.
[00:32:10]  You just type in Flagrant 2 on YouTube and you can subscribe to the channel.
[00:32:14]  But bill time, maybe my favorite bill to pay, if I'm being honest with you, because it's a bill that keeps on paying.
[00:32:23]  It pays everybody forward.
[00:32:25]  That's right, is Blue Chew.
[00:32:26]  If you're new to the podcast and your dick game is at 80% once you get to 100%, it's at 50% once you get to 100%.
[00:32:35]  If it's at 100%, why don't you take it to 120%?
[00:32:39]  Yeah.
[00:32:40]  Blue Chew.
[00:32:41]  Give your girl the night of her life.
[00:32:43]  Give your wife the night of her life.
[00:32:45]  Give that girl that you're nervous to take out on a date.
[00:32:48]  You finally got her going on a date with you and she's ready to throw down.
[00:32:52]  She's been sending you pictures of her feet.
[00:32:55]  The best type of nudes.
[00:32:58]  If you ready to do it, bluechew.com/slash flagrant.
[00:33:01]  Use the promo code flagrant.
[00:33:04]  Use that promo code flagrant.
[00:33:07]  All right.
[00:33:08]  You're going to get free blue chew.
[00:33:10]  All you got to do is pay $5 shipping.
[00:33:13]  I mean, that might be the best deal in the entire world.
[00:33:16]  $5 in shipping, free blue chew.
[00:33:18]  You give the women in your life the night of their life.
[00:33:23]  That's all I got to say about that.
[00:33:24]  Promo code flagrant.
[00:33:26]  Bluechew.com.
[00:33:27]  B-L-U-E-C-H-E-W.com.
[00:33:32]  Now let's get back to the show.
[00:33:35]  Oh, by the way, same active ingredients.
[00:33:37]  It's in Viagra or Cialis or any of these drugs.
[00:33:40]  The exact same thing.
[00:33:42]  Only it's chewable, so it goes twice as fast.
[00:33:44]  That's right.
[00:33:44]  You're not waiting around.
[00:33:47]  It's in the system.
[00:33:49]  Couple jumping jacks.
[00:33:50]  That dick's going to hit your chin.
[00:33:52]  Let's get back to the show.
[00:33:53]  Bro.
[00:33:54]  It's an interesting ass point.

=== Blue Chew Viagra Facts (08:17) ===

[00:33:55]  He used to be D-Max.
[00:33:57]  So it's difficult traveling as a black guy.
[00:33:59]  It's not.
[00:34:01]  Like, I don't feel like it's any more difficult than anything else being black.
[00:34:04]  I don't get a whole bunch more weird looks in Japan or Spain or Amsterdam or whatever than I get here.
[00:34:10]  Like, we got the cops caught on us at our studio twice.
[00:34:13]  The first week we moved in.
[00:34:15]  Right.
[00:34:16]  And then like maybe a month or two ago, we got kicked out for being black, basically.
[00:34:20]  What were you guys doing?
[00:34:21]  We were playing spades and chills.
[00:34:24]  Doing black stuff.
[00:34:26]  But one of the, so the owner, they have.
[00:34:29]  Yeah.
[00:34:29]  They play spades.
[00:34:31]  We were doing it on video, though.
[00:34:32]  That's how you break in the space.
[00:34:33]  That's how you break in the space.
[00:34:34]  We were doing it on video for WorldScar.
[00:34:38]  Regular.
[00:34:40]  So what did the cops say when they came up with?
[00:34:41]  So both time the cop, like literally one time the cops came, we were playing trouble.
[00:34:46]  We played this game night thing on our channel.
[00:34:47]  Yeah.
[00:34:49]  Literally.
[00:34:50]  Literally, like that game.
[00:34:52]  So the cop was like super irritated that they had to even come out.
[00:34:55]  White cop and Mexican cop.
[00:34:56]  And they're like, man, I don't know, man.
[00:34:57]  The lady downstairs called.
[00:34:58]  They said they didn't know what's going on.
[00:35:00]  Like, we literally eating sandwiches and playing trouble.
[00:35:02]  The first time we were arm wrestling.
[00:35:04]  I was playing the word trouble a lot.
[00:35:05]  No, like literally playing the game trouble.
[00:35:07]  I know, but does that involve saying the word?
[00:35:08]  Like maybe she just hears a few black guys out there like, yeah, you in trouble.
[00:35:11]  And then oh, were we saying the word trouble?
[00:35:14]  No, no, no.
[00:35:15]  We weren't saying the word trouble.
[00:35:16]  No, I'm going to get you.
[00:35:20]  You can play the board game with your friends.
[00:35:22]  It's frightening for a lady downstairs.
[00:35:24]  If you're black and loud, because we were like unapologetically black.
[00:35:28]  Yeah.
[00:35:28]  Like, you know, black, we just, we're loud.
[00:35:29]  We're loud people.
[00:35:30]  Yeah.
[00:35:31]  We don't really do.
[00:35:31]  That's why magicians love black people.
[00:35:33]  We give the best reactions to magic.
[00:35:35]  Whoa.
[00:35:36]  We be like, we have never seen magic.
[00:35:39]  We've seen David Blaine.
[00:35:40]  You know me going to Simi Valley to do the magic?
[00:35:43]  He goes to Crit Shock.
[00:35:44]  Bobby's like, oh my God, this is all Shooting nice is crazy.
[00:35:52]  It is crazy.
[00:35:54]  Y'all don't believe in anything except magic.
[00:35:56]  Yeah.
[00:35:57]  Like black people.
[00:35:58]  Like, I don't trust nobody.
[00:36:00]  I don't trust white people.
[00:36:01]  I don't trust the government.
[00:36:03]  Did he put a corner in my ear?
[00:36:05]  How fucking got that corner, bro?
[00:36:08]  This guy's like, oh, that is hilarious.
[00:36:10]  He's really a magician, dog.
[00:36:12]  We really don't be voting.
[00:36:13]  We don't do it again.
[00:36:15]  Do it again.
[00:36:16]  Literally this shit.
[00:36:17]  Magic, bro.
[00:36:18]  Magic got you, dude.
[00:36:20]  Yeah, that's what Trump should do.
[00:36:21]  He should run on that.
[00:36:22]  Yo.
[00:36:24]  Hell black people.
[00:36:25]  I'm bringing magic back to him.
[00:36:27]  I'd be like, what?
[00:36:29]  Trump be doing magic.
[00:36:30]  In my next trick, I'll be making these Mexicans disappear.
[00:36:34]  Wow.
[00:36:37]  Oh, my God.
[00:36:39]  You got to switch it to like M-A-G-A-C, MAGIC.
[00:36:44]  Make America trade again, cuz.
[00:36:48]  That was the weirdest thing I think about the Super Bowl for me was seeing the Donald Trump commercial.
[00:36:53]  Oh, we were just talking about that.
[00:36:55]  How conflicted do you feel knowing he freed black people?
[00:36:58]  I literally was like, They set it up so sad.
[00:37:03]  Like it was a black person like, uh, they didn't, yeah, they didn't reveal it was Trump till the end of the day.
[00:37:06]  Nah, I just got on board first, but then it's fucked up that they made the girl go, I was free.
[00:37:12]  Like, it was terrible.
[00:37:14]  I was like, man, this is great.
[00:37:16]  I just made that up right now.
[00:37:18]  Is this it right here?
[00:37:19]  No.
[00:37:20]  That's not the one.
[00:37:21]  This was the military one.
[00:37:23]  They had literally a black person one freeing prisoners, and then they had the like F-16 one that was like, we love the military, support our troops one.
[00:37:31]  Yeah, I know what they're doing.
[00:37:32]  Super Bowl commercials ain't what they used to be no more.
[00:37:35]  I was like, this is what we're doing?
[00:37:37]  I think that's because of the advent of the internet.
[00:37:38]  We see so much funny stuff on the internet day to day.
[00:37:41]  We don't have to wait till once a year to be impressed.
[00:37:43]  That's why SNL sucks.
[00:37:44]  That's why late night sucks.
[00:37:46]  We heard the joke already seven times.
[00:37:48]  By the time y'all get to it, you're so late.
[00:37:51]  Wow.
[00:37:52]  And you're just the end of the week.
[00:37:53]  That's it.
[00:37:54]  Wow.
[00:37:54]  On Twitter, I've laughed more at Twitter.
[00:37:57]  Okay, this is flagrant too.
[00:37:59]  Go.
[00:38:00]  The day that we killed the dude in Iran, I can't remember his name.
[00:38:04]  Bruh.
[00:38:06]  The black Twitter.
[00:38:08]  I can't remember a time I laughed that hard.
[00:38:10]  Hilarious.
[00:38:11]  Saturday Night Live has not been that funny in 25 years.
[00:38:13]  What did they say on it?
[00:38:14]  On the.
[00:38:15]  Oh, no, they didn't.
[00:38:16]  I'm just saying compared to it.
[00:38:17]  It's like, bro, and it was just regular everyday people.
[00:38:21]  Oh, black girls was like, I know we was talking about equality and stuff, but they talking about the draft.
[00:38:25]  We cooking.
[00:38:25]  It was them doing laundry.
[00:38:27]  Bro, it was just, it was perfect.
[00:38:29]  And it was because you shouldn't have been laughing and you still laugh.
[00:38:33]  That's what made it funny.
[00:38:34]  And then people are like, you shouldn't laugh.
[00:38:35]  Like, obviously, this is like terrible in real life.
[00:38:37]  Yeah, yeah.
[00:38:38]  But that's great comedy.
[00:38:40]  When you know you shouldn't laugh and it's funny anyway.
[00:38:43]  But man, by the time they come to Saturday Night Live, I'm not staying up late for that.
[00:38:46]  Absolutely.
[00:38:47]  He was laughing in real time.
[00:38:48]  I mean, thinking back when we were at All Death, because back when we used to write sketches, like if something would happen topical, it was like a little system that happened to have, like, we have to write the sketch and it'd probably be like two or three days.
[00:38:58]  And then it got to the point where it was like, okay, we're already too late.
[00:39:00]  Now, if you don't get it that day, it's not even no point.
[00:39:03]  Somebody shot on your phone the moment it happened.
[00:39:05]  So to try to wait till Saturday, it's like, bro, we've moved on.
[00:39:08]  Forget it.
[00:39:08]  I also think the Super Bowl commercials, back when we were kids, beer commercials had all the money and spent all the money.
[00:39:14]  And Super commercials are always funny.
[00:39:15]  Now it's a bunch of Silicon Valley dorks down there.
[00:39:17]  That was just funny.
[00:39:18]  Yeah, nerds don't know what to do to make the brand funny.
[00:39:20]  The KC Namber commercial, I was just like, what happened?
[00:39:23]  Can't touch this.
[00:39:24]  He was trying to dance.
[00:39:26]  He was just dancing with it.
[00:39:27]  I was just like, it was like, I had enough.
[00:39:30]  I didn't like any of the commercials.
[00:39:32]  There wasn't none that really stuck out to me.
[00:39:33]  I was just like.
[00:39:34]  Anthony Anderson and his mom was funny.
[00:39:36]  That was probably the first time.
[00:39:36]  Oh, yeah, she was good.
[00:39:37]  She was also known as funny where the cop hox itself or whatever.
[00:39:42]  It was John Krasinski and two other actors from Boston.
[00:39:46]  He has a Hyundai commercial and they were just speaking in a Boston accent.
[00:39:49]  I didn't see that one.
[00:39:50]  The Copaks itself for one.
[00:39:52]  The Cop Pac, the Pac the Cod, like they just kept doing all the shit about, and it was funny.
[00:39:56]  Yeah.
[00:39:57]  Stupid ass ass.
[00:39:59]  Revere, they mentioned Revere?
[00:40:00]  Yo, Revere.
[00:40:04]  You know, like, you have the times in your life where you laugh the hardest.
[00:40:08]  One of the hardest times of my life that I think I've ever laughed.
[00:40:10]  And would you say the same?
[00:40:11]  Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[00:40:12]  We're at Akash's apartment in Brooklyn, one of his first apartments.
[00:40:16]  Real shit.
[00:40:16]  He moved in the city.
[00:40:17]  There were rats all over it.
[00:40:18]  He had a Chinese landlord that wouldn't talk to him.
[00:40:21]  She just would say in her thick Chinese accent the amount of money they owed left because they would all pay to rent in different ways.
[00:40:28]  So she would just walk up.
[00:40:29]  She was, Akash, no shit, dog.
[00:40:34]  And there was always the one roommate from Boston who was an alcoholic and a pathological liar would never pay.
[00:40:40]  And she'd be like, Aka, where's step in?
[00:40:42]  Step in.
[00:40:42]  I need money.
[00:40:43]  Where's step in?
[00:40:45]  Pick his accent.
[00:40:46]  No, he lied.
[00:40:47]  He lied.
[00:40:47]  He lied.
[00:40:49]  He liked me.
[00:40:50]  He's like, I don't know what to tell you.
[00:40:53]  So we're over there and they were telling us about when they would play youth hockey and youth hockey was a big thing in Boston.
[00:40:59]  They were in South Boston, like where this accent is from, right?
[00:41:02]  Typical every Ben Affleck movie, like Southeast, South Boston.
[00:41:06]  And in South Boston, when the kids would play hockey, the whole city would come out or the whole town would come out.
[00:41:13]  So it was full stadium.
[00:41:14]  And where were they?
[00:41:16]  They were playing Revere.
[00:41:17]  They were playing Revere, which is another city.
[00:41:19]  Got it.
[00:41:20]  Right.
[00:41:20]  And they heckled the kids.
[00:41:21]  These are five-year-old kids.
[00:41:22]  They were heckling the kids.
[00:41:23]  The adults are heckled.
[00:41:24]  The kids are heckling the chips.
[00:41:25]  And they have songs like in soccer.
[00:41:27]  You know how like they have a chant.
[00:41:29]  And one of the chants went like this.
[00:41:31]  Go, who's from Revere?
[00:41:34]  All quizzes.
[00:41:36]  What?
[00:41:39]  Who's from Revere?
[00:41:41]  A lot of quiz.
[00:41:45]  At a youth hockey game?
[00:41:46]  Two children.
[00:41:47]  Nobody else in there.
[00:41:48]  The whole stadium.
[00:41:50]  Who's from Revere?
[00:41:52]  All quizzes.
[00:41:54]  Who's from Revere?
[00:41:56]  A lot of quiz.
[00:41:58]  Really?
[00:41:58]  Don't even make sense rhythmically.
[00:42:00]  Shit don't have the same sound.
[00:42:03]  Sit down.
[00:42:04]  Bro, wow.
[00:42:05]  Cried laughing at that shit, dude.
[00:42:10]  Oh, my God.
[00:42:10]  These little fucking girls, what's a quiz?

=== Revere Hockey Chants (12:20) ===

[00:42:13]  You and your teammates.
[00:42:19]  God damn.
[00:42:20]  That's a rough upbringing.
[00:42:22]  To take that at five.
[00:42:25]  Boston is the good.
[00:42:26]  Oh, bro.
[00:42:27]  That's why those motherfuckers are so funny, though, dude.
[00:42:29]  All the funniest comics.
[00:42:30]  Oh, yeah.
[00:42:32]  Bill Burr's special.
[00:42:33]  Bill Burr had a good special his last one.
[00:42:35]  I was like, man, you really.
[00:42:36]  He ripped.
[00:42:37]  You are good at this.
[00:42:39]  He's like, sometimes you see comics, even though you do comedy, you see somebody else.
[00:42:43]  It's like, this must be what it feels like to watch LeBron in your NBA.
[00:42:46]  Like, I'm also playing this sport, but not at the level you're playing.
[00:42:50]  Like, you might even be an all-star, but when LeBron's at his level, you're like, this is LeBron, man.
[00:42:55]  He should be in the league.
[00:42:57]  This dude is a machine.
[00:42:59]  He's not supposed to be this good at your 17.
[00:43:02]  You're not supposed to be this good still.
[00:43:03]  He's supposed to be posting people up by now.
[00:43:05]  He's like, nah, bro, I'm going to play the same one.
[00:43:07]  That's what's happening.
[00:43:08]  It's the millions of dollars he spends on his body every year.
[00:43:11]  Yo, real talk.
[00:43:11]  It's the investment.
[00:43:13]  He spends millions of dollars every, I mean, the best trainer, food, hyperbaric treatment, literally everything you could possibly do.
[00:43:20]  But then why didn't his peers do the same thing?
[00:43:22]  Because the people that he got drafted with are not like in the same type of playing.
[00:43:29]  Boss, retired, who else won that draft?
[00:43:33]  Carmelo.
[00:43:34]  Darko Miller.
[00:43:35]  Carmelo, retired.
[00:43:36]  Carmelo.
[00:43:36]  Carmelo back.
[00:43:37]  Carmelo back.
[00:43:38]  Yeah, Darko.
[00:43:39]  He was never anything.
[00:43:40]  Everybody in that draft is gone or done.
[00:43:42]  And he's just still playing.
[00:43:43]  He's playing at a high level.
[00:43:44]  He's 42 talking about he's going to come back.
[00:43:46]  Because those guys are, their focus, their discipline is different.
[00:43:49]  That's the thing.
[00:43:50]  Like, y'all play in the same sport, but you're not doing it the same way.
[00:43:52]  That's the thing.
[00:43:53]  I think you find out what you want once you get there.
[00:43:55]  Like, some people, they just want pussy.
[00:43:57]  They just want fame.
[00:43:57]  I think a lot of guys get to the NBA, and that's just their goal to get there.
[00:44:01]  Yeah.
[00:44:01]  And then they're in.
[00:44:01]  Joe Johnson.
[00:44:03]  Y'all want me to win championships, bro?
[00:44:04]  I'm just trying to get paid.
[00:44:06]  What is so hard to understand about that?
[00:44:08]  I don't care about championships.
[00:44:10]  I don't want to go to the playoffs.
[00:44:11]  Trade me to.
[00:44:12]  He would get good.
[00:44:13]  The team would get good.
[00:44:14]  He'd be like, all right, trade me to somebody.
[00:44:16]  They're becoming contenders.
[00:44:17]  Trade me to another guy.
[00:44:18]  Then he went to the big three.
[00:44:20]  Oh, this is more my speed.
[00:44:21]  Oh, he's not even in the league.
[00:44:22]  No, he came back to the league now because he was hooping to big three.
[00:44:25]  Or is he in the league?
[00:44:26]  I think he got signed.
[00:44:27]  I don't think he's playing now.
[00:44:28]  I think he got signed for a little bit.
[00:44:29]  He was like a top 10 player.
[00:44:31]  Well, he was nice.
[00:44:31]  He had a massive contract.
[00:44:32]  Bro, he lost $84 million.
[00:44:33]  He left the Suns, got $84 million.
[00:44:35]  He got paid big time by the way.
[00:44:37]  I remember he would be like, he'd be released and he'd be that guy that's like in the middle of the season.
[00:44:41]  After they're bought out, you can pick him up.
[00:44:42]  And he would just never go to the best team.
[00:44:44]  He'd always just go for the team.
[00:44:45]  Like the team, lose in the first, second round, be out.
[00:44:48]  Bro, and chilling.
[00:44:50]  They said that about, I guess, Chris Paul, because they were like asking him, like, would he like take less to go like to a contender?
[00:44:54]  He was like, nope.
[00:44:56]  Oklahoma City?
[00:44:59]  No.
[00:44:59]  And I think you can wave his brain.
[00:45:01]  Bro, the thing is, chasing rings, like, it creates your Kevin Durant.
[00:45:04]  Like, Kevin Durant examples are like, oh, forget.
[00:45:07]  Like, this, you can't win.
[00:45:09]  Kevin Durant could have been the best player in the league.
[00:45:11]  Chris Paul, right now, you're never going to be the best player in the league.
[00:45:14]  True.
[00:45:15]  Never.
[00:45:15]  This is done.
[00:45:15]  You're past your prime.
[00:45:17]  Go get a ring, contribute.
[00:45:19]  Nobody knocks Gary Payton.
[00:45:20]  No.
[00:45:20]  He got a ring when he was on the heat.
[00:45:22]  When he couldn't do it on his own, he tried to do it on everything.
[00:45:25]  Chris Paul did that.
[00:45:25]  I'm going to respect him going to the Lake.
[00:45:27]  He went to the Lakers and the Heat.
[00:45:28]  Yeah.
[00:45:29]  Remember chasing that ring.
[00:45:30]  People don't mind you chasing your ring when you're past your prime.
[00:45:32]  It's chasing your ring early that we don't like.
[00:45:35]  Like Garnett, too.
[00:45:36]  He chased for the all-Timber Wolves theme.
[00:45:39]  Fan mentality is crazy.
[00:45:42]  It's because certain narratives make sense.
[00:45:44]  But why was that?
[00:45:44]  Like, if you were in a position and you're a professional athlete and you can leave a situation from a bad team and go to a good one, why wouldn't that be celebrated?
[00:45:52]  I don't mind you going to a good team personally.
[00:45:54]  I mind you going to the best team.
[00:45:55]  Yeah.
[00:45:56]  If you go to a good team because your management sucks, like LeBron leaving Cleveland the first time, you should have left.
[00:46:01]  They listen to you too much, quite frankly.
[00:46:03]  You need an organization that's not going to listen to you guys.
[00:46:05]  But going to Miami to be with the second best player in the league and then bringing Chris Paul, who's another top 10 player or whatever, it's like that's too much.
[00:46:12]  If he went to the Bulls, I'd been like, all right, respect.
[00:46:14]  We didn't know Derrick Rose was going to be that good.
[00:46:16]  Just a good team.
[00:46:17]  He always wanted to root for David.
[00:46:19]  That's the Warriors are a perfect example.
[00:46:21]  When they were scrappy, we love them.
[00:46:23]  When they got good, we're like, all right, we hate y'all now.
[00:46:25]  They're being the Patriots.
[00:46:27]  Bro, fuck you.
[00:46:28]  Everybody is sticking it to them, too, this year.
[00:46:30]  They're never going to make the All-Stars.
[00:46:33]  They're trying to do what the Spurs did with Tim Duncan.
[00:46:35]  Any team that trades to take on Knicks players, they're trying to.
[00:46:40]  You're not committed to victory, bro.
[00:46:42]  You are calling the Knicks like, who you got.
[00:46:46]  You compete for a lottery pick, man.
[00:46:48]  That's hilarious.
[00:46:49]  You see that trying to make the deal?
[00:46:50]  I'm trying to make that with D'Angelo Russell, right?
[00:46:52]  But do you know how crazy that is?
[00:46:53]  You're trying to move D'Angelo Russell?
[00:46:55]  Yeah.
[00:46:55]  That's what I heard.
[00:46:56]  Well, the Knicks are going to give them everything.
[00:46:58]  It's just.
[00:46:58]  This is a team that two years ago was like one of the biggest dynasties ever.
[00:47:02]  Now there could be a lottery team.
[00:47:03]  But that's because that way they get the good picks.
[00:47:05]  They're going to play coming back next year.
[00:47:06]  They got stuff coming back next year.
[00:47:08]  It's perfect to have a lot of removal.
[00:47:09]  It's the Spurs.
[00:47:10]  You remember when Dan Robinson broke his ankle or foot and they got Tim Duncan?
[00:47:14]  Yeah.
[00:47:15]  They literally ran that for 20 years.
[00:47:17]  It's the best position to be in.
[00:47:19]  Yeah.
[00:47:19]  There is no Duncan right now.
[00:47:21]  Yeah, but I mean, they were going to lose regardless.
[00:47:22]  So you might as well completely lose and get a lottery pick.
[00:47:26]  Yo, y'all heard this shit about Kawhi?
[00:47:28]  Strip Club and New Balance Hoodie on?
[00:47:30]  Nah, not the strip club thing.
[00:47:31]  That's hilarious.
[00:47:32]  I did see that video.
[00:47:33]  And he was so Kawhi with the money.
[00:47:34]  He's so up.
[00:47:36]  He made the strip club a little bit.
[00:47:38]  The least interesting.
[00:47:40]  Dog.
[00:47:40]  He's like Eeyore.
[00:47:43]  You know what I mean?
[00:47:43]  It's like, can you get excited about anything?
[00:47:46]  He don't even get excited about basketball.
[00:47:48]  It's crazy.
[00:47:48]  When they won the championship, you're like, bro, you won.
[00:47:51]  It's like, yeah.
[00:47:53]  Blackest Russian I've ever seen.
[00:47:57]  Perfectly there.
[00:47:58]  But apparently there's some beef.
[00:48:01]  Someone was explaining some beef about practices because he lives in San Diego and he helicopters R.I.P. Kobe, but he helicopters to the Clippers facility.
[00:48:12]  And so if there's bad weather and shit, the practice got to be moved.
[00:48:15]  Around him and it's causing some issues.
[00:48:18]  I heard about Lobleag.
[00:48:19]  He and Paul George were getting preferential treatment.
[00:48:22]  Listen, bro.
[00:48:23]  Get with it.
[00:48:24]  You need to get preferential treatment.
[00:48:26]  No, yes.
[00:48:27]  Listen, the world doesn't care if you're not the best.
[00:48:31]  The people who are the best get life easier.
[00:48:34]  Be the best so you can play.
[00:48:35]  What do you say to those other?
[00:48:37]  You are not Kawhi.
[00:48:38]  That's what you're saying.
[00:48:39]  You say little league?
[00:48:40]  So you expect them to put their bodies and their lives on the line every night while this guy just gets to be home too?
[00:48:46]  Absolutely.
[00:48:47]  Fuck that.
[00:48:47]  Yes.
[00:48:48]  I would not want to play with that guy.
[00:48:49]  Absolutely.
[00:48:50]  Yeah, but then come playoffs.
[00:48:51]  They were supposed to be brothers in the trenches.
[00:48:53]  We're not supposed to be brothers, though.
[00:48:54]  When it's playoffs, and there's three minutes left, and you giving the ball to Kawhi every single possession, you're not like, yo, we brothers, homie.
[00:49:00]  Right?
[00:49:00]  You're going, how do I give you the balls out there?
[00:49:02]  Exactly.
[00:49:03]  Right.
[00:49:03]  So you got to do the work during the season.
[00:49:05]  He takes you to promised land in the playoffs.
[00:49:08]  I think it's wild to live in San Diego, but generally speaking.
[00:49:11]  I think that's terrible.
[00:49:12]  Both players get the preference.
[00:49:13]  You don't think LeBron gets preferential treatment?
[00:49:15]  But guys, he be taking off games.
[00:49:17]  Absolutely.
[00:49:17]  But are you giving up them game checks?
[00:49:19]  I doubt it.
[00:49:19]  No.
[00:49:20]  So you want to get paid and not play?
[00:49:22]  Listen, this is what happens, though.
[00:49:23]  The Raptors win with him.
[00:49:25]  The Raptors win it.
[00:49:25]  The Raptors let him do all that, and he left and they weren't even mad.
[00:49:30]  And I think that that's the worst thing that could have happened to the NBA.
[00:49:32]  The Raptors got the third best record in the league.
[00:49:34]  And they're balling again.
[00:49:36]  It's kind of crazy.
[00:49:37]  Really?
[00:49:37]  Kawhi shouldn't have left, I don't think.
[00:49:39]  But they still want to share.
[00:49:41]  If he took games off and then they don't win, now you got to start answering.
[00:49:44]  I just don't see how that's a sustainable model for a sports franchise or even sports because how do you make all the other 80% of the guys that aren't megastars buy into that?
[00:49:54]  Because somebody else will come together.
[00:49:56]  They come play.
[00:49:58]  You're a LeBron fan.
[00:49:59]  LeBron got ready.
[00:50:00]  He was ready to get rid of everyone on the Lakers for Anthony Davis.
[00:50:04]  Didn't happen.
[00:50:05]  His teammates were mad at him.
[00:50:06]  What the fuck are you really going to do?
[00:50:08]  We're going to make this trade in the offseason.
[00:50:09]  And are you mad at LeBron for getting AD?
[00:50:12]  Or are they a much better team?
[00:50:13]  LeBron is like the airlines.
[00:50:15]  We lost your bag.
[00:50:16]  What you finna do about it?
[00:50:18]  You got your fights canceled.
[00:50:20]  What you finna walk?
[00:50:21]  Shut up.
[00:50:21]  We'll put you on the next flight when we put you on the next flight.
[00:50:24]  We be mad at me like, nigga, shut up.
[00:50:26]  Shut up.
[00:50:28]  Remember, we're in the absolute bad guy.
[00:50:29]  What are you going to do?
[00:50:29]  They left like an hour late and they didn't even say nothing.
[00:50:32]  It was just at the gate, like, we'll leave when we leave.
[00:50:35]  He went up and asked like, when we're going to leave when we say we're boarded.
[00:50:38]  And they're like, what you going to do?
[00:50:40]  Nothing.
[00:50:41]  Shut up.
[00:50:42]  It's a boat outside.
[00:50:44]  You ain't finna do nothing.
[00:50:46]  Be as mad as you're going to be.
[00:50:48]  You ain't finna do nothing.
[00:50:49]  That's got to suck, though.
[00:50:51]  And you can't whoop LeBron either.
[00:50:53]  Did you see LeBron play football?
[00:50:55]  Oh, yeah.
[00:50:56]  But Lakers thing, this dude looks like a cyborg.
[00:51:00]  He looked like he could go to the NFL right now and be a tight end and go to the Pro Bowl.
[00:51:05]  And there's only one guy we've seen put the clamps on LeBron, and it's Kawhi.
[00:51:09]  So what you gonna tell Kawhi?
[00:51:11]  I think it's bad for the league.
[00:51:12]  And I'll tell you, I will make a prediction here on your show.
[00:51:16]  I think that attitude is what's going to stop the Clippers from being successful in the postseason.
[00:51:22]  Because you cannot manufacture.
[00:51:23]  You know what?
[00:51:24]  You can't manufacture.
[00:51:25]  You know what's never worked for the Clippers in the postseason?
[00:51:27]  Being the Clippers.
[00:51:29]  They got to do something different.
[00:51:31]  Have they even made it to the conference finals ever?
[00:51:33]  No, they have.
[00:51:33]  They didn't make something.
[00:51:34]  No, it's like just last year they had Lob City.
[00:51:36]  What happened to Lob City?
[00:51:37]  Nothing.
[00:51:38]  Went to nothing.
[00:51:40]  They lost as a team and they got traded as a team.
[00:51:42]  True.
[00:51:43]  Bro, the funniest thing, I know we passed that, but when LeBron tried to trade everybody, they didn't get traded.
[00:51:48]  He was just like, well, he didn't even apologize.
[00:51:52]  He was like, it's AD.
[00:51:53]  And then he got him in the summer?
[00:51:55]  Yeah, man.
[00:51:56]  And now you got to move to New Orleans.
[00:51:58]  Lonzo, what you gonna do?
[00:51:59]  Nothing.
[00:52:00]  Nothing.
[00:52:01]  Pack your bags, boy.
[00:52:02]  I think basketball is the only sport like that where one person can have that much sayover things.
[00:52:08]  Quarterbacks, kind of, but basketball is still different.
[00:52:10]  Kind of in Premier League soccer, they have that type of.
[00:52:12]  Oh, you're talking about Premier League soccer, they have that type of impact, too.
[00:52:15]  Just that just one person being maybe the quarterback.
[00:52:18]  Tom Brady has that type of impact.
[00:52:19]  You know what?
[00:52:20]  One person can change the game in basketball.
[00:52:21]  Yeah, and he plays both sides of the ball.
[00:52:25]  Bro.
[00:52:25]  Yeah.
[00:52:26]  It's a hundred times.
[00:52:26]  He still has fucking cornrows.
[00:52:28]  Why does he have cool?
[00:52:31]  Yeah, cool.
[00:52:32]  Why does he still have him in pushing T.
[00:52:35]  But you don't play with him?
[00:52:37]  Like, y'all really are highly sages.
[00:52:39]  Like, we've been past those hairstyles for a good 15 years.
[00:52:42]  He's just wearing it like it's a normal thing.
[00:52:45]  Yo, that's the mark of a black sociopath.
[00:52:47]  Cornrows.
[00:52:48]  For real.
[00:52:49]  You got no feelings for anyone if you're black and you got cornrows.
[00:52:52]  I got no remorse.
[00:52:53]  2020.
[00:52:54]  I got no nothing.
[00:52:55]  Kawhi don't have no designs either.
[00:52:57]  Just straight back.
[00:52:58]  That's straight.
[00:52:59]  No personality.
[00:53:01]  With a weird laugh.
[00:53:04]  He laughs like a serial killer.
[00:53:05]  I'm telling you, bro, God gives people too much basketball talent.
[00:53:08]  He gives them nothing else.
[00:53:09]  Yes, no other personality themes.
[00:53:11]  He probably can't read or write.
[00:53:13]  Like, I don't need you to do that.
[00:53:14]  I need you to dunk.
[00:53:16]  Is that wrong to say that if it came out that Kawhi was illiterate, I'd be like, what?
[00:53:23]  They say that about Michael Jordan.
[00:53:24]  Like, you ever heard him talk on a mic?
[00:53:26]  The proof is silly.
[00:53:27]  Not that he's illiterate, but like, they low-key imply that he's not that intelligent.
[00:53:32]  But he'd be hooping.
[00:53:33]  Is that true?
[00:53:33]  Yeah, you ain't.
[00:53:34]  You remember Kendrick Marshall?
[00:53:35]  Michael Jordan on the mic.
[00:53:36]  He got jeans.
[00:53:38]  Have you seen this?
[00:53:38]  Yeah.
[00:53:39]  He got a billion dollars.
[00:53:41]  That's going to break my heart.
[00:53:42]  Michael Jordan's jeans.
[00:53:43]  Oh, his suit.
[00:53:44]  His suit game is gone.
[00:53:45]  He's still wearing hoop earrings, too.
[00:53:47]  He got the jaundice eye.
[00:53:50]  Michael Jordan was fully fucking retarded this full time.
[00:53:55]  He's this genius.
[00:53:56]  Oh, my God, yo.
[00:53:58]  What is he doing?
[00:54:00]  Why?
[00:54:01]  Why?
[00:54:02]  He looks like one of them housing dashes.
[00:54:04]  Like, a house and like he's going to do a rushing kick.
[00:54:06]  That is ridiculous.
[00:54:08]  Oh, my.
[00:54:09]  Michael Jordan probably got 18 on the SATs.
[00:54:14]  But he went for 25 and 20 that night.
[00:54:16]  Bro, what is he doing?
[00:54:19]  What is he doing?
[00:54:21]  That is ridiculous.
[00:54:22]  Bro, he's low-key like the history.
[00:54:23]  I'm so Michael Jordan.
[00:54:24]  Remember his Hall of Fame speech?
[00:54:25]  When he was like, yeah, remember that dude from third grade?
[00:54:27]  Yeah.
[00:54:27]  Yeah.
[00:54:28]  We're like, bro, bro.
[00:54:29]  Like, you got to let that.
[00:54:30]  I didn't mind the speech, but yeah.
[00:54:32]  Do you like that speech where he brought the guy?

=== ShipStation Free Trial Offer (02:36) ===

[00:54:34]  Yeah, man.
[00:54:34]  You sound so white on this podcast.
[00:54:36]  Wow.
[00:54:37]  Oh, you can't put one player ahead of the whole team.
[00:54:39]  What kind of precedent does that set for the lead?
[00:54:42]  I don't know why Michael Jordan can't be more humble.
[00:54:45]  Like Larry Birds.
[00:54:48]  John Stockton.
[00:54:49]  Now there's a player.
[00:54:51]  That's a guy who understood the team.
[00:54:55]  He was hardworking and scrappy.
[00:54:58]  No black players are ever described as scrappy.
[00:55:00]  That's only white receivers.
[00:55:02]  They're scrappy.
[00:55:03]  That's how you know how trash Patrick Beverly is, yo.
[00:55:07]  All of his compliments are for white players, right?
[00:55:10]  He tries hard on defense.
[00:55:12]  Have you seen that?
[00:55:14]  I'm not afraid of him.
[00:55:15]  I'm sorry to do the dirty work.
[00:55:18]  You're describing Patrick Beverly or Wes Welcome.
[00:55:24]  Bellich's waiting for him to retire.
[00:55:25]  Like, I could do something like that.
[00:55:28]  Patrick Beverly.
[00:55:31]  All right, we're going to stop.
[00:55:32]  Pay some bills real quick.
[00:55:33]  This is actually really important.
[00:55:34]  If any of you listening right now have a business where you're selling things online, I don't care if they're cards, sneakers, things that you yourself make.
[00:55:44]  You're using Amazon, Etsy.
[00:55:46]  I don't care what shipping service you're using, FedEx, UPS, et cetera.
[00:55:52]  There's a way to better organize this system, treat it like a real business so you can keep track of every single order that you have going out.
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=== Kev the Stallion Meme (09:04) ===

[00:57:11]  Hey?
[00:57:11]  Hey?
[00:57:12]  All right, let's get back to the show.
[00:57:17]  Every race can make white people's voices perfect.
[00:57:19]  Absolutely.
[00:57:20]  White people cannot do a black voice good.
[00:57:22]  They always say.
[00:57:26]  Why is it always your dog?
[00:57:27]  What's a good black voice?
[00:57:28]  What's a good black voice?
[00:57:30]  I have no idea.
[00:57:31]  I don't know why it's so hard for other races to get it.
[00:57:34]  Like, they can get like Barack Obama's voice, but not average black dude voice.
[00:57:38]  What's average black dude voice?
[00:57:39]  Hit it.
[00:57:40]  What up, yo?
[00:57:40]  It's your boy Kev.
[00:57:41]  We out here.
[00:57:43]  Could be whatever.
[00:57:45]  Finna get after this hummus.
[00:57:49]  Yo, black people aren't the hummus, bro.
[00:57:51]  We love it.
[00:57:52]  We love humming lambs.
[00:57:53]  We love hummus lambs.
[00:57:54]  I was like, one person was like, yo, hummus cool, though.
[00:57:56]  I don't know if y'all heard.
[00:57:58]  Hummus is, I had hummus today with punchles.
[00:58:02]  I'm like, yeah, cuz, yeah, cuz.
[00:58:06]  Sorry, bro, the roasted red pepper with the little red peppers in the middle, bro.
[00:58:10]  Meg the stallion, bro.
[00:58:12]  Meg the stallion on hummus.
[00:58:14]  Yo.
[00:58:14]  Geez.
[00:58:16]  Oh, black people are having a rough day today.
[00:58:19]  G. Easy was kissing Meg the Stallion.
[00:58:21]  That just felt weird.
[00:58:22]  Oh, bro.
[00:58:23]  Yeah.
[00:58:24]  You know what it looked like?
[00:58:25]  You've ever seen like a puppy suck on its mom's nipples to try to get milk.
[00:58:30]  You know, the mom just lay on the side.
[00:58:33]  The puppies get what you don't get.
[00:58:36]  Look at even the way he kisses.
[00:58:37]  It looks so weird.
[00:58:39]  It did not look believable.
[00:58:41]  Somebody on Twitter said it looked like a discolored ass puppy.
[00:58:46]  This one ain't gonna get adopted.
[00:58:47]  The runner.
[00:58:48]  Hold on.
[00:58:49]  Nothing about that video.
[00:58:52]  Man, that shit is too funny, bro.
[00:58:54]  Broke my heart.
[00:58:56]  It did.
[00:58:57]  I'm gonna tell you, there's a huge double standard, though.
[00:59:01]  He does look like a puppy on the teeth.
[00:59:04]  Look at him trying to get sick.
[00:59:07]  Now I can't see.
[00:59:08]  He's the run of the litter.
[00:59:09]  GEZ.
[00:59:10]  Yo, you look like you're trying to make up for his lips not being big.
[00:59:14]  He's got a double lip.
[00:59:15]  This is how black people get.
[00:59:20]  Oh, he even grabbed the cheeks.
[00:59:22]  Come on.
[00:59:23]  He was right there.
[00:59:24]  Come on, son.
[00:59:26]  Just give up.
[00:59:27]  Go back to that.
[00:59:27]  Have you seen him give up in the fucking?
[00:59:29]  Come on, G.
[00:59:30]  We share a face.
[00:59:31]  You got to get better.
[00:59:32]  Y'all look at how simple that looks.
[00:59:35]  You got both of our reputations.
[00:59:36]  I'm too happy to be there, man.
[00:59:38]  You know, Shultz you would have crab cheeks.
[00:59:40]  You know, Shultz would.
[00:59:43]  I don't know what that movie is.
[00:59:44]  I don't like this.
[00:59:48]  And let me move on.
[00:59:55]  He looking like a magnet.
[00:59:58]  I'm respectful of him.
[01:00:00]  That was crazy, bro.
[01:00:03]  Go full palsy.
[01:00:07]  What's that?
[01:00:07]  Who's that?
[01:00:08]  That's Meg the Stallion's PR team posted that.
[01:00:10]  Or not the PR team.
[01:00:11]  They're her fan club.
[01:00:12]  Posted that meme after the video.
[01:00:18]  That's hilarious.
[01:00:20]  Oh, snap.
[01:00:22]  Oh, yeah, yeah.
[01:00:22]  It was a good day, man.
[01:00:23]  How tall is Meg?
[01:00:25]  5'10, I think.
[01:00:26]  180.
[01:00:27]  She was 6'2.
[01:00:28]  Nah.
[01:00:29]  She just...
[01:00:31]  Yeah.
[01:00:31]  Meg the Stallion is probably the most fitting rap name for how she looks.
[01:00:37]  Like Miss Stallion.
[01:00:38]  Yeah.
[01:00:38]  Like a male horse?
[01:00:39]  No.
[01:00:45]  Teddy's right because a stallion is a male horse and a Philly is a female horse.
[01:00:50]  But a Philly don't have the same ring.
[01:00:52]  Like, man, that girl's a Philly.
[01:00:53]  That just don't sound right.
[01:00:54]  Meg the Philly ain't gonna really get my horse.
[01:00:56]  Meg the Stallion, you know exactly what she's talking about.
[01:00:58]  You know, in the South, a stallion is like, this girl's a thoroughbred, bro.
[01:01:01]  She's a stallion.
[01:01:02]  Yeah, but if you know it's a dude, you should know that in the South.
[01:01:04]  Now, all of a sudden, it's seen Meg gay.
[01:01:06]  Nah.
[01:01:07]  Wait, what's going on?
[01:01:08]  People don't be knowing the sex in the name of the horse.
[01:01:10]  You're going a girl a stallion.
[01:01:11]  Kev, you a stallion.
[01:01:14]  Kev, you a stallion.
[01:01:15]  Kev, are you a stallion, though?
[01:01:18]  Are you a stallion or a stallion?
[01:01:19]  Kev the stallion?
[01:01:21]  Kev the stallion ain't selling no merch.
[01:01:24]  Yo, Kev the Stallion could kind of go.
[01:01:26]  It's just the same letters as Meg.
[01:01:28]  Stallion Kosh the Pony.
[01:01:32]  I'm the world's smallest horse.
[01:01:34]  He's like the donkey that fucking guy with Don Quixote rode with.
[01:01:39]  What the fuck is his name?
[01:01:42]  I'm a mule out this bitch.
[01:01:44]  Bro, Kev the Stallion.
[01:01:46]  That might be the stallion.
[01:01:46]  Kev the Stallion has a retour.
[01:01:48]  It's not going to leave this room, but.
[01:01:49]  Now, you don't think Kev the Stallion could go?
[01:01:51]  No, absolutely.
[01:01:52]  You know, we got a lot of crossover fans.
[01:01:54]  They're going to be in your comments calling you Kev the Stallion.
[01:01:56]  I hope not.
[01:01:57]  If that becomes a thing, I'm going to be livid.
[01:02:00]  Kev the Stallion, bro.
[01:02:01]  I think you got to.
[01:02:02]  How do you know Kev married?
[01:02:03]  Because he can't even give himself a compliment because he knows his wife can be.
[01:02:06]  Are you not no fucking stallion?
[01:02:07]  You think that she would say that?
[01:02:10]  She's very protective of my delicate ego.
[01:02:13]  Okay, so she supports it.
[01:02:14]  She supports it.
[01:02:16]  She massages my ego.
[01:02:19]  Does she?
[01:02:20]  Yeah.
[01:02:21]  She makes me feel what I need to feel to do what I got to do.
[01:02:24]  Because, man, I'm going to tell you, comic to comic, the comic, you're probably going to suffer from this, or maybe you don't.
[01:02:28]  I don't know.
[01:02:30]  Three years, this is my third tour coming up, right?
[01:02:32]  With very little time in between.
[01:02:33]  And this time I took like three months off before this one.
[01:02:36]  So I went up because me and Doe were on the road together.
[01:02:38]  And he was taking his shirt off.
[01:02:39]  So he was giving me the best alley.
[01:02:41]  The crowd was lit, right?
[01:02:42]  So I went to Tahir's show.
[01:02:43]  No Doughboy intro.
[01:02:45]  You talk about crickets in the audience.
[01:02:46]  They're like, huh.
[01:02:48]  So my confidence was trash.
[01:02:50]  So my question to y'all is, what do y'all do when y'all have a set or a couple bad sets in a row?
[01:02:56]  And you're like, am I funny anymore?
[01:02:57]  Like the podcast and stuff, like, oh, that's cool.
[01:03:00]  But if you ain't funny on stage, it starts to mess with your whole funny psyche.
[01:03:04]  Like, I don't know if I could be funny anymore, period.
[01:03:06]  I'm be honest with you, never happened.
[01:03:11]  Listen, they call me Andrew the Stallion for a reason, dog.
[01:03:14]  You the stallion.
[01:03:16]  Show that the hell out of the hotel.
[01:03:20]  I can't relate.
[01:03:21]  I'm hilarious.
[01:03:22]  I'm never not hilarious.
[01:03:23]  Don't know how to relate.
[01:03:26]  Nah, you know what?
[01:03:27]  You know what's nice?
[01:03:27]  What I'll say is this is like, are you doing a lot of spots in the city?
[01:03:31]  I'm teasing, obviously.
[01:03:32]  LA sets.
[01:03:33]  I think that's what keeps you on your P's and Q's and what keeps you humble because it's like when you go to the club, those people a lot of times aren't there for you.
[01:03:40]  So you get to perform for these people who don't know you or don't think you're as funny as fans do.
[01:03:45]  So then you get that reality check during the week and then you go on tour on the weekends.
[01:03:49]  And as long as those things match up, you're like, all right, bet, I'm funny.
[01:03:52]  That's true.
[01:03:52]  So you're saying it's better, better in that sense to not even set up like your own shows, just go just do like drop-ins.
[01:03:58]  Yeah, Drew Bo.
[01:04:00]  But I do firmly believe like you're supposed to find your audience.
[01:04:03]  I don't think like, absolutely.
[01:04:04]  I think we're supposed to be able to make everyone laugh in the beginning of our career because that's how you make a living.
[01:04:09]  But once you find your crowd that finds you funny, you don't owe it to people who are not them to make them laugh.
[01:04:16]  Oh, that's Tyler Perry.
[01:04:17]  That's what we're talking about.
[01:04:18]  So somebody was at my show was like, yo, I thought Dobe was hilarious, Tony, and to here, but I didn't get Kev's thing.
[01:04:25]  Like, the whole bunch of black church theme.
[01:04:26]  And I respect that.
[01:04:27]  Like, your whole point is to find your people.
[01:04:29]  Like, y'all's brand of humor is y'all's brand.
[01:04:32]  Like, a lot of people would be like, oh, it's offensive.
[01:04:35]  But the people who like it, like, that's the thing that happened with Ari Shafir.
[01:04:38]  He greatly underestimated what happens when you go outside of your fan base on the internet.
[01:04:44]  Because he was trying to explain it to people who was like, no, no, no.
[01:04:46]  Just to worry about that.
[01:04:47]  I never heard of you because I want like people wanted to fight him straight up, like a lot of comics, and nobody's trying to understand that.
[01:04:53]  So that's a good point.
[01:04:54]  Like, it was a drop-in set that I did that was just like completely mediocre.
[01:04:58]  That was kind of like a shell shock.
[01:05:00]  But at the same time, that type of stuff, I always find that I find more funny material when I have a bad set.
[01:05:05]  Because you're really scrambling to like, oh, that didn't hit.
[01:05:07]  Let me try something.
[01:05:08]  But like, if you're having a good set, you're just going to get a space before an important set to me used to freak me the fuck out.
[01:05:13]  And now I'm like, you know what?
[01:05:14]  I got that other way.
[01:05:15]  And now I'm focusing hungry.
[01:05:16]  Yeah, yeah.
[01:05:17]  And I would go, it's not going to be a while since I had like, but I would go through like phases where I'm like, I'm like a month, two months, sometimes longer.
[01:05:23]  I'm like, I don't think I'm funny.
[01:05:24]  I'm not doing that great.
[01:05:25]  And you know what would help me the most is when I would host because then you're just doing crowd work.
[01:05:30]  You can't overthink everything.
[01:05:31]  Yeah.
[01:05:31]  Just listen, respond.
[01:05:33]  Listen, respond.
[01:05:35]  If you do that enough, you're like, oh, fuck, I'm funny.
[01:05:37]  Yeah, you're funny without even trying.
[01:05:39]  That's it.
[01:05:39]  If I don't overthink it, I'm funny.
[01:05:41]  Sometimes you can get addicted to the kill.
[01:05:44]  Yes.
[01:05:44]  Yes.
[01:05:45]  That's probably what happened.
[01:05:46]  He was getting standard O's every show.
[01:05:49]  And then it's like you start going, well, if I don't get a standing oh, I'm not funny.
[01:05:52]  And then when, and then you get into that room, the room could be smaller, all these types of things.
[01:05:57]  But what I notice often with the addicted to the kill thing is it stops being about the material.
[01:06:01]  It stops being about the thing you love, which is creating.
[01:06:03]  It's just about the reaction.
[01:06:06]  And then you go and you don't get that reaction and you feel horrible.
[01:06:09]  At least me, you'll feel horrible because you forgot that you really just like telling those jokes in the first place.

=== Addicted to Crowd Work (06:31) ===

[01:06:15]  Yeah.
[01:06:15]  Sometimes for me, the point of the joke is to make a crowd grown.
[01:06:19]  Absolutely.
[01:06:19]  Some jokes are not designed.
[01:06:21]  Like sometimes it's trying, it's to mess with you.
[01:06:22]  It's the fucking thing.
[01:06:23]  And there ain't no punchline.
[01:06:24]  You got to sit in that.
[01:06:25]  Yeah.
[01:06:26]  Yeah.
[01:06:26]  It's like, I want to find out who really wants to go there with me.
[01:06:29]  Right.
[01:06:30]  But I noticed that early in my career.
[01:06:32]  Like, if I was addicted to the kill, the second I didn't have as good a set, I was like, oh man, this really fucking sucks.
[01:06:37]  And when I was addicted to the jokes, I would enjoy even bad sets because I'd be like, I know, I could do something with that line.
[01:06:43]  Yeah.
[01:06:44]  Experimenting.
[01:06:45]  You know what I mean?
[01:06:46]  Yeah.
[01:06:46]  I remember early on, I was trying to impress some comic who came to the Village Lantern.
[01:06:49]  It wasn't in retrospect, the guy was nobody, but I didn't have a good set.
[01:06:53]  And then our homie Case Rosso said to me, The problem was you focused on killing instead of focusing on having fun.
[01:06:58]  Yeah.
[01:06:59]  You forgot to have fun.
[01:07:00]  If you have fun, you're good.
[01:07:01]  Yeah.
[01:07:02]  You're fine.
[01:07:02]  Yeah.
[01:07:03]  That's probably the same thing with sports.
[01:07:04]  Like you get to the Super Bowl, you're like, bro, I'm going to try to do that.
[01:07:06]  That's what Don McNabb said.
[01:07:07]  He was like, man, I was trying to do too much.
[01:07:10]  If I was just played how I normally play, we would have won.
[01:07:12]  But it was a Super Bowl.
[01:07:13]  I'm trying to make throws I don't normally make.
[01:07:14]  I'm all out of my comfort zone and now I'm trash.
[01:07:17]  And you don't get that back.
[01:07:19]  You know how many times it happens in the NFL?
[01:07:20]  I saw a picture of the 40, oh, not the 49ers, the Panthers.
[01:07:23]  And they had Cam Olson, like Thomas Davidson.
[01:07:26]  Like, they had that one season.
[01:07:28]  Right.
[01:07:29]  It's a picture of all their captains.
[01:07:30]  Luke Keek.
[01:07:31]  Yeah, that season, they were freaking steamrolling people over people.
[01:07:37]  You couldn't do anything with them.
[01:07:38]  They lost that Super Bowl, and they've never recovered.
[01:07:41]  And nobody won't be back next year.
[01:07:44]  Just retire.
[01:07:44]  And Cam might not even be on that team.
[01:07:47]  Yeah.
[01:07:47]  That's just crazy.
[01:07:48]  Rolson broke his foot like three years in a row.
[01:07:50]  They just released him.
[01:07:52]  Did they?
[01:07:52]  Yes.
[01:07:53]  Like yesterday.
[01:07:54]  That's the thing that annoys me.
[01:07:55]  We spoke about the Super Bowl very briefly, but like there's all these articles.
[01:07:58]  Every time a team loses the Super Bowl, oh, they're built for the future.
[01:08:01]  They're probably not.
[01:08:02]  They're not, though.
[01:08:02]  Everything is so short in the NFL.
[01:08:04]  It takes so much luck to get to the Super Bowl.
[01:08:06]  Everything got to break the right way.
[01:08:08]  You could come back, but it's.
[01:08:09]  It's highly unlikely.
[01:08:10]  I don't know how in-depth y'all went into this, but why in the hell did the 49ers stop running the ball yesterday in the Super Bowl?
[01:08:16]  We didn't go in-depth.
[01:08:17]  And that's what happened.
[01:08:20]  Why?
[01:08:22]  My assumption was like: you go down, you got to score quick.
[01:08:25]  And you know, you're down two possessions.
[01:08:27]  Yep.
[01:08:27]  Right?
[01:08:27]  You're down.
[01:08:28]  What were they down 10?
[01:08:29]  22.
[01:08:29]  20 to 10.
[01:08:30]  Yeah, 20 to 10.
[01:08:30]  Once you're down to, you know it's two possessions or it's it's two, it's two drafts, two scores yeah, yeah.
[01:08:34]  So now you have to throw the chiefs though he's running up.
[01:08:38]  The Niners were up kind of they could have rammed the ball to run out the clock when they were trying to come back.
[01:08:44]  No no no no, i'm talking about why did the Niners get away from what was working?
[01:08:48]  The whole game was running the ball.
[01:08:50]  The last six minutes.
[01:08:52]  You get the ball back, you're up 10 and then you go three and out really quick trying to throw the ball, like so there's a couple things I really questioned with Shanahan that other people are questioning.
[01:09:00]  Number one, at the end of the first half it's 10-0.
[01:09:03]  They're getting the ball back.
[01:09:04]  There's less than two minutes left and they let the clock run all the way down before the chief's punch, instead of using a timeout.
[01:09:09]  They had three timeouts.
[01:09:10]  They were playing to sit on the out on tie game.
[01:09:13]  They weren't.
[01:09:13]  If we can get points out great, but we don't have to.
[01:09:16]  Yeah, and that's to me.
[01:09:17]  You're playing to, not play to lose.
[01:09:19]  You ain't playing to win, you're playing to lose, and that will always backfire.
[01:09:22]  The other play you're talking about, I think is it was second and five, and maybe it was still 20 to 10, or maybe it was 20 to 17 and Jimmy Garoppolo tried to pass it and the pass got batted down.
[01:09:30]  Yeah, if you run the first of all, Raheem Most or whatever you pronounce it has been killing everybody all season, all postseason.
[01:09:37]  He's had a great game.
[01:09:38]  To this point you might get a first.
[01:09:40]  If not, it's third and one.
[01:09:41]  The clock keeps running.
[01:09:42]  Third and two, third and three probably, and then you can run again get a first.
[01:09:45]  Keep draining clock, throwing it.
[01:09:47]  It gets batted down.
[01:09:48]  Now the clock stop.
[01:09:49]  Now it's third and five.
[01:09:49]  Now you got to throw again.
[01:09:51]  And then he got sacked on the play and I think he got sacked.
[01:09:54]  Other incompletion, I don't think clock stops again.
[01:09:57]  So now the Chiefs have that much more time and Jimmy's not ready for the.
[01:10:01]  I I don't.
[01:10:01]  I, I don't trust him when you need.
[01:10:03]  I was saying that all season i'm just like.
[01:10:05]  And the other pussy decision I thought was his fourth and two, and they went for a field goal to go up 20 to 10 as well.
[01:10:10]  But then go for the game, bro.
[01:10:12]  You know you're likely not gonna come back next year you, so many things have to go right in the Nfl for you to get to the Super Bowl.
[01:10:18]  Look at the RAMS.
[01:10:19]  Last year they were the shit and then this year they just wash.
[01:10:23]  Used to be a 49ers fan.
[01:10:24]  Let me tell y'all the bullshit.
[01:10:25]  For 38 years I was a 49ers fan for hella years and i'll be trying to be woke in the black community because i've been trying to be woke.
[01:10:34]  So I was like all right man, like i'm sick, I don't like how they did Kaepernick.
[01:10:39]  And I have been living in La for the past nine years and I was like if i've lived in the city for 10 years, i'll contest if I switch it.
[01:10:46]  So I said I don't like how they did Kaepernick, i'm gonna go to the RAMS.
[01:10:49]  And then the RAMS ended up being on some bullshit.
[01:10:51]  And then the 49ers went to the Super Bowl and now I like a fucking idiot.
[01:10:54]  Well, at least they lost.
[01:10:56]  They lost because it was looking like they were gonna win for a minute.
[01:10:59]  And Richard Sherman, who I love, he got burnt day for his.
[01:11:04]  Like no explanation.
[01:11:06]  You got shook, he got cooked, sat on the ground bro oh, with that one little shoulder.
[01:11:12]  Yeah, that's like when your kids get better than you at 14, like i'm happy to see them lose though, because the Bay Area is a bunch of fucking cucks and they don't deserve another champion.
[01:11:22]  You got the fucking Warriors already and they got the Giants win a whole bunch.
[01:11:25]  You didn't need this.
[01:11:26]  No, they don't.
[01:11:28]  Happy for Andy Reid.
[01:11:29]  Yo, yo, I'm so happy.
[01:11:30]  I love Andy Reid.
[01:11:32]  I'm so happy.
[01:11:32]  He's been playing football his whole life.
[01:11:34]  Remember when he was 222 career wins?
[01:11:36]  Tom was big.
[01:11:37]  Oh, punt passing thick.
[01:11:46]  And he blew a couple.
[01:11:47]  He used to get all the bad time management things.
[01:11:49]  He was always mismanaging the clock.
[01:11:51]  Like everybody that the other coach is taking this.
[01:11:55]  Oh, and he just, he was the OC for the Falcons when they got.
[01:11:59]  I saw a stat.
[01:12:00]  Banhan was the OC for the Falcons when they were up on the 20 to 3.
[01:12:03]  When they're 2-3.
[01:12:04]  And then on the last drive, I don't know if you remember, Julio Jones had an insane catch on the second drive in regulation.
[01:12:09]  If they just run a couple times and they kick a field goal, they're up 11.
[01:12:12]  New England's not going to win that game.
[01:12:13]  They're not going to Matt Ryan drops back to pass, and this is on him.
[01:12:17]  He takes a sack like a fucking idiot.
[01:12:18]  Now they're out of field goal range.
[01:12:20]  They're up eight.
[01:12:20]  They punt.
[01:12:21]  New England scores, gets a two-point conversion.
[01:12:22]  They lose.
[01:12:23]  But that was on him too.
[01:12:24]  Kyle Shannon.
[01:12:24]  Why are you calling a pass?
[01:12:25]  What was that stat that they said?
[01:12:26]  Like, he's been outscored?
[01:12:28]  Like 40 to 0 in the last two quarters of the Super Bowl.
[01:12:30]  And I think he's a good coach.
[01:12:32]  But hey, fuck that.
[01:12:34]  He fucked it.
[01:12:35]  He fucked that up really bad.
[01:12:38]  Whatever he did, he should have.
[01:12:40]  Oh, imagine going to the Super Bowl twice and knowing it was you that lost.

=== Falcons Field Goal Stat (08:10) ===

[01:12:46]  Bro, that's got to just.
[01:12:48]  And it's you, bro.
[01:12:49]  And it's really tough to get back there.
[01:12:51]  It's tough.
[01:12:52]  It ain't easy because everybody's going to be good again next year.
[01:12:54]  The Rams are going to be good again.
[01:12:55]  Seahawks going to be good.
[01:12:56]  That's not going to be no easy one.
[01:12:58]  And shout out to my boy Brian Houston sexing me.
[01:13:00]  One of their good defensive linemen is probably going to leave.
[01:13:01]  He's a free agent.
[01:13:02]  Also, they don't have a draft pick in the second, third, or fourth round.
[01:13:06]  Niners got a first, and then they don't pick again until the fifth.
[01:13:09]  So if players leave, normally you just get good players back together.
[01:13:12]  Yeah.
[01:13:13]  You can't do that.
[01:13:14]  Yeah.
[01:13:14]  Dang.
[01:13:15]  Trying to go all in.
[01:13:16]  Yeah, it wasn't a bad move.
[01:13:18]  It just, they fucked it up at the end.
[01:13:20]  What time are we at?
[01:13:21]  110.
[01:13:22]  We're at 110.
[01:13:23]  You want to do a couple Patreon?
[01:13:24]  Yeah, I put up the topic this morning.
[01:13:26]  So we'll see.
[01:13:26]  Hopefully, by the way, I appreciate y'all for the Patreon.
[01:13:29]  Oh, yo.
[01:13:31]  Akash gave us the rundown, the bonus episode.
[01:13:35]  Oh, yeah.
[01:13:36]  We completely stole y'all's idea or not, no, stole, completely copied y'all to our benefit.
[01:13:42]  Oh, yeah.
[01:13:43]  Working out.
[01:13:44]  Bro, it is the best thing ever.
[01:13:46]  Like, don't reinvent the wheel.
[01:13:49]  Somebody's saying this about Kobe.
[01:13:50]  He was like, Kobe wasn't afraid to copy greatness.
[01:13:52]  Yeah.
[01:13:53]  Like, he saw Jordan.
[01:13:54]  He was like, oh, that works.
[01:13:55]  I'm going to do that exact thing and I'm going to be great.
[01:13:58]  And he did.
[01:14:00]  And he literally, like, there's this clip of him doing, like, it's like 15 move from the same spot on the court.
[01:14:06]  Not just the same move, like the same spot verbatim, right?
[01:14:10]  So we saw that Patreon thing.
[01:14:11]  It was literally life-changing.
[01:14:12]  That was shady because that was right at the time that I had quit.
[01:14:14]  It was like a year of his time.
[01:14:17]  Doughboy was me.
[01:14:18]  Do we call me?
[01:14:19]  He was in my position.
[01:14:20]  Yeah.
[01:14:20]  And Kevin's in your position.
[01:14:23]  And we actually have odds, bro.
[01:14:26]  I said, bro, I said, I see y'all killing it on your podcast.
[01:14:29]  Put me on.
[01:14:30]  He said, Do I'm going to put you?
[01:14:31]  He gave me all the game, and it literally takes me.
[01:14:33]  I coach killed it, man.
[01:14:34]  I coach built that whole shit.
[01:14:35]  Shout out to my bro, man.
[01:14:36]  Yeah.
[01:14:37]  And Andrew, I just talked to another comic, Nathan McIntosh, who I'm trying to help out a bit.
[01:14:40]  Very funny dude, if y'all ever see him.
[01:14:42]  But Andrew said to me, like, just, I was, I'm so thankful for what he did for me.
[01:14:45]  He's like, just pay it forward.
[01:14:46]  And I know you pay it forward to people who will pay it forward.
[01:14:48]  Bro, that's, and that's what I love it.
[01:14:50]  Like, bro, we, y'all's Patreon doesn't affect ours.
[01:14:54]  Like, people don't want to share a game.
[01:14:55]  Like, bro, that's, it's not like people will not.
[01:14:58]  Like, I have like five Patreons that I'm supportive of.
[01:15:01]  Like, five.
[01:15:02]  I'm in the army.
[01:15:04]  Yeah, yeah.
[01:15:05]  Like, I stole the idea, and I'm like, but I'm going to keep the five just to pay respect.
[01:15:09]  Like, the mob.
[01:15:10]  Like, I got to, you know, you got to pay.
[01:15:12]  I got a big man with my boy.
[01:15:14]  It's to show respect.
[01:15:15]  It's pyramid schemes.
[01:15:16]  To get you, you won.
[01:15:17]  You get me for a while.
[01:15:18]  Bro, that's all it is, bro.
[01:15:19]  I got like five comics that I support.
[01:15:22]  I don't even watch all their videos because they ain't really about that.
[01:15:24]  It's about supporting them.
[01:15:25]  When people hit me up, I tell them, bro, this is how you do it.
[01:15:27]  Like, the only thing people misunderstand is that you can't just set up a Patreon and expect to make that.
[01:15:33]  People call me that.
[01:15:34]  They'll be like, I set it up now.
[01:15:35]  What do I do?
[01:15:35]  Like, wait, wait, you got it.
[01:15:36]  There's a lot more to it than that.
[01:15:38]  And people are not consistent.
[01:15:39]  That's the thing that people don't want to really sit with the truth of it is your, it's not going to grow if you don't deliver on your premise.
[01:15:46]  Like, we had to struggle to get some bonus episodes on tour.
[01:15:50]  Like, that second episode sometimes is like, bro, I don't have any energy.
[01:15:54]  I'm here right now in LA.
[01:15:56]  The only reason is to do this episode.
[01:15:57]  I ought to have been home.
[01:15:58]  He's flew.
[01:15:59]  He was already in Northern California.
[01:16:01]  Instead of flying back, he stayed an extra two days.
[01:16:04]  Yeah.
[01:16:04]  Three days.
[01:16:05]  Three days.
[01:16:05]  Probably.
[01:16:06]  And then flew down here to record so we could record this.
[01:16:09]  But that's the type of commitment, I guess.
[01:16:11]  It's your job.
[01:16:12]  And it changes it because you know how it is.
[01:16:14]  Like when we're self-employed out here, like in between kids, the biggest thing for me is that now I get the power to say no to some kids.
[01:16:22]  Because you know, back in the day, they call you.
[01:16:24]  You got to get that bread.
[01:16:25]  So now I'm just like, no, I'm good.
[01:16:27]  It got to make sense for you.
[01:16:28]  It got to make sense.
[01:16:29]  Because if not, let me ask you this: Are y'all putting the amount of money you're making on your Patreon yet?
[01:16:32]  I told you to do that.
[01:16:34]  I told you, bro.
[01:16:35]  Black people is different.
[01:16:36]  But I told you this, and I stand by this.
[01:16:38]  You don't get black people like to see money, man.
[01:16:40]  No, I'm telling you, though.
[01:16:42]  You think you got jewelry on it?
[01:16:43]  That's not jewelry.
[01:16:46]  Trust me, whatever's in your cup is worth the same amount as we're talking to Chris.
[01:16:51]  Black people, when we think you're doing too good, we'd be like, I ain't even doing too good, bro.
[01:16:56]  He's good.
[01:16:57]  Like now, if you're out of the stratosphere, like Tyler Perry, $500 million.
[01:17:01]  Like, there's a dude I helped out, a comedian who made $100,000, like listening to my principals.
[01:17:05]  I sell a masterclass on how to do that.
[01:17:07]  He was like, bro, you can shout me out.
[01:17:08]  Just don't tell nobody how much money I make because I don't want people counting my pockets.
[01:17:12]  Like, we be like that.
[01:17:13]  Like, I almost just answered offline.
[01:17:17]  You teach a masterclass or you took a million?
[01:17:19]  No, he had to.
[01:17:19]  No, no, I teach a social media master, like, how to build your business on social media.
[01:17:24]  That shit.
[01:17:24]  You should.
[01:17:25]  Or you can just call me and tell me the way I call it.
[01:17:27]  But that's where I got the idea from.
[01:17:29]  Like, I would be telling comics, like, they'd hit me up, like, yo, how did you do the tour?
[01:17:32]  How'd you do that?
[01:17:33]  So I would just be telling them, and my wife, I got to shout my wife out.
[01:17:37]  Man, black women.
[01:17:39]  Black women, respect.
[01:17:41]  Best.
[01:17:41]  Reach.
[01:17:42]  Best.
[01:17:42]  Because I was going to travel around and do it like in a city.
[01:17:45]  See, every single day.
[01:17:46]  I only fuck white girls.
[01:17:48]  That's not true.
[01:17:48]  Yeah, he gives a master class.
[01:17:50]  I'm going to get married to a black woman.
[01:17:51]  Okay.
[01:17:52]  As long as you come home when it's time.
[01:17:55]  As long as you come home when it's time.
[01:17:56]  You see Russell Wilson ever since he came to Sierra, he looks so much happier.
[01:17:59]  You do.
[01:18:00]  Brother got another kid coming.
[01:18:01]  Make it number three.
[01:18:03]  But anyway, what I was saying was, I used to tell a whole bunch of comedians, and my wife was like, why don't you just, instead of going around selling it, just put it online?
[01:18:10]  People can click it and watch it.
[01:18:12]  And it was the best decision I ever made.
[01:18:14]  Yeah.
[01:18:15]  Like, I'm trying not to have all my money be from fly, stand, perform, use my voice.
[01:18:20]  Like, that is taxing.
[01:18:22]  Like, touring and junk, bro.
[01:18:23]  I'd be like, I love stand-up.
[01:18:26]  Don't get me wrong, but man, the road, especially the way we were doing it, three, four cities in a row, not even being able to be at the clubs.
[01:18:32]  Like, I'm so looking forward to being able to at least wake up in the same city two or three days.
[01:18:36]  But it wasn't even four-hour drives.
[01:18:41]  It was tough.
[01:18:42]  But ain't nobody really trying to hear people complain about getting paid to tell jokes.
[01:18:45]  But that don't mean it ain't hard sometimes.
[01:18:46]  Everything's relative.
[01:18:48]  Everything's relative.
[01:18:49]  That's what I try to tell black people about being white.
[01:18:53]  There's nothing tough about it.
[01:18:54]  Our struggle's relative.
[01:18:57]  Tell me three struggles of a white guy.
[01:18:59]  When it's hot outside, the sun gets you, bro.
[01:19:04]  We don't have any melanin.
[01:19:05]  You know what I mean?
[01:19:06]  It gets hot.
[01:19:08]  That's their sickle cell.
[01:19:09]  That's our sickle cell.
[01:19:11]  For real.
[01:19:12]  Sunbird?
[01:19:13]  Sunbird.
[01:19:13]  We got to listen to black people complain.
[01:19:18]  And like you said earlier, y'all.
[01:19:21]  Y'all loud about it.
[01:19:23]  So that's that.
[01:19:25]  And we the first people always die from coronavirus or any Asian disease.
[01:19:29]  So this is a lot of problems.
[01:19:30]  I'll be fucking their girls too much.
[01:19:32]  It's true.
[01:19:33]  You think a Chinese guy was just tired of white people fucking his women?
[01:19:35]  He was like, let's hold on.
[01:19:36]  Let's put this dick.
[01:19:38]  We got to put some dicks somewhere.
[01:19:39]  Alex fucking all of ours.
[01:19:40]  You know what I mean?
[01:19:41]  You just got to pay it forward.
[01:19:44]  You ain't real.
[01:19:46]  Said the hot weather is the sun.
[01:19:49]  Y'all are loud.
[01:19:50]  Y'all complain.
[01:19:52]  Mostly, y'all.
[01:19:53]  When we armed you, it was a lot easier.
[01:19:55]  We didn't have to go out in the sun.
[01:19:56]  Y'all went out in the sun.
[01:19:58]  Then you came in and brought us to work.
[01:20:00]  Every sound outside.
[01:20:02]  Sing all those songs outdoors.
[01:20:06]  Oh, shit.
[01:20:07]  I love the music from out in the field.
[01:20:09]  In the house.
[01:20:10]  We like a choir here.
[01:20:14]  But the cotton was good because it would absorb some of the sound.
[01:20:19]  So that shit didn't really travel.
[01:20:21]  You know what I mean?
[01:20:22]  No.
[01:20:23]  So maybe the ones they let in the house are the ones who hummed.
[01:20:29]  Oh, that's pleasant.
[01:20:33]  My career is on.
[01:20:34]  Oh, man.
[01:20:35]  This is a bonus episode, though.
[01:20:36]  All right, let's stop for a second, pay some bills.
[01:20:40]  I really wish Akash was with me right now as we're doing these ads because I love it when he does this read because it's for Radix Remedies.
[01:20:49]  That's right.
[01:20:49]  Raddix Remedies, the CBD company.
[01:20:53]  I swear it's premium CBD.
[01:20:56]  I swear to God.

=== Raddix Remedies CBD Promo (13:27) ===

[01:20:57]  That's all it is.
[01:20:58]  Maybe we got a good batch.
[01:20:59]  Maybe that's the batch that's out there.
[01:21:00]  So get it while it lasts.
[01:21:02]  But Raddix Remedies, R-A-D-I-X Remedies.com.
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[01:21:18]  They got these pre-rolled joints.
[01:21:20]  CBD.
[01:21:21]  CBD.
[01:21:23]  Okay.
[01:21:23]  These pre-rolled joints.
[01:21:25]  CBD.
[01:21:27]  That's what we were smoking up and getting hired for asses on the podcast.
[01:21:31]  Obviously, they got the gummies.
[01:21:32]  They got this salve.
[01:21:33]  They got this neural root thing.
[01:21:35]  You start your day with it.
[01:21:37]  I mean, you are centered, focused, ready to go.
[01:21:39]  They got pills of healthy sleep.
[01:21:40]  Be careful with those because they do have some melatonin in them.
[01:21:42]  But if you need a knockout, they will put you on your ass.
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[01:21:55]  So the asshole army, when it goes to get CBD, it goes to Raddix Remedies.
[01:22:00]  Go there right now.
[01:22:01]  Raddixremedies.com/slash Flagrant.
[01:22:03]  Use the promo code Flagrant.
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[01:22:07]  Enjoy.
[01:22:08]  Let me know how it goes.
[01:22:10]  Hey, hey, hey.
[01:22:12]  So, what do we got?
[01:22:12]  Let's talk to these patrons.
[01:22:13]  Oh, shit.
[01:22:14]  I forgot.
[01:22:15]  All right.
[01:22:15]  Is Pat Mahomes the first $200 million QB?
[01:22:18]  Will Jerry fuck Dak over and tag him or paying the money he deserved?
[01:22:22]  If so, how much do you think Dak is worth?
[01:22:23]  Pat Mahomes, you think he gets 200 million?
[01:22:25]  I think he's going to be a little bit more.
[01:22:26]  Listen, second season starting.
[01:22:28]  Yeah.
[01:22:29]  Super Bowl MVP, Super Bowl winner, NFL MVP.
[01:22:33]  Max him out.
[01:22:34]  Cash him out, bro.
[01:22:35]  Catch you.
[01:22:36]  At 23 or 24?
[01:22:38]  Look what Tom Brady did for one team with all the other players came in and out.
[01:22:42]  Like, they kept that one dude.
[01:22:44]  Yeah.
[01:22:45]  And we were able to be contenders for what, 15 years straight?
[01:22:48]  Now, Brady would always.
[01:22:49]  Brady was almost never the highest paid player in the league.
[01:22:51]  No, right.
[01:22:52]  That's why he's mad now.
[01:22:53]  Yeah.
[01:22:54]  But you might as well be.
[01:22:55]  I'll take you being mad in 20 years and six Super Bowls later.
[01:22:58]  Absolutely.
[01:22:59]  Because you got out.
[01:23:01]  And then hopefully after this one, you can be like, look, you got to cash pump money.
[01:23:05]  I don't think Dak is worth it.
[01:23:06]  Did you say Dak?
[01:23:07]  Dak ain't worth Patrick Mahomes' money.
[01:23:09]  No, no.
[01:23:09]  I don't believe in Dak at all.
[01:23:10]  You think that Mahomes will recognize what Brady did and go, listen, I know I'm worth it, but I'll take a pay cut so we could keep Travis, so we could keep Daniel.
[01:23:20]  I hope not.
[01:23:21]  I think he would.
[01:23:22]  I think he would.
[01:23:22]  Cash Mary.
[01:23:23]  I think he would.
[01:23:23]  And you got the Chris Paul mentality with it.
[01:23:26]  Yeah, I think, bro, like, that's an ownership problem.
[01:23:29]  Like, finding people around me, salary cap, you know, luxury tax, that's y'all responsibility.
[01:23:35]  But it makes it easier to win if you're willing to sacrifice a little bit.
[01:23:38]  That's true.
[01:23:39]  But it also makes you easier to win when you're you.
[01:23:41]  No, 100%.
[01:23:42]  Like, don't get me wrong, you deserve your money.
[01:23:44]  I guess at a certain point in time, it's like having $80 million or $84 million or whatever the fuck it is is not going to make that much of a difference in terms of your happiness.
[01:23:54]  And I don't know who he is.
[01:23:55]  Having one Super Bowl or two Super Bowls might make a huge, like, you're basically going, how much money would I pay to have another Super Bowl?
[01:24:02]  And you love the game so much.
[01:24:05]  You at least a chance at it.
[01:24:06]  Even a first Super Bowl if you're decked.
[01:24:07]  Shit.
[01:24:08]  I think that it sucks, though.
[01:24:09]  I think that it sucks that players are even asked to do that because owners don't do that shit.
[01:24:12]  And when they move on from players, they just move off on it, whether it's a trade or just a release.
[01:24:16]  So I'm just like, do what's best for you.
[01:24:19]  Because they put that on athletes, like, well, you should take less.
[01:24:21]  No, owners don't ever take less than nothing.
[01:24:23]  You know, owners don't want, and I assume, owners don't want a salary cap.
[01:24:28]  Like, if I'm James Owen, the New York Knicks, I'm like, well, just let me pay LeBron $100 million.
[01:24:34]  That's why Premier League Soccer is so good.
[01:24:36]  But the problem with Premier League Soccer is that the same two teams are the ones in the, you know, what though?
[01:24:41]  Here's my argument to that.
[01:24:42]  People like that.
[01:24:44]  We don't like parody as much as we want.
[01:24:46]  We want to root against you or for you.
[01:24:48]  Like, that's why Premier League, like, I just started getting to it.
[01:24:52]  It'd be the same six teams for like the last 20 years.
[01:24:55]  Yeah.
[01:24:55]  Like that.
[01:24:56]  One of these six is going to win outside of like some random aberration.
[01:25:00]  Fans are cool with that.
[01:25:01]  Even your team sucks perennially.
[01:25:04]  You start to be like, man, this is, you know, hopefully we'll be able to build.
[01:25:07]  They're culture differently.
[01:25:08]  Like they build the culture of the team at like a really young age.
[01:25:13]  Yeah.
[01:25:13]  Like academy level.
[01:25:14]  Juniors.
[01:25:15]  That's when I realized my son wasn't going to make it to the Premier League.
[01:25:17]  Why they can't.
[01:25:17]  When I realized where at the age they started.
[01:25:20]  Oh, yeah.
[01:25:20]  The people who don't even make it to the top.
[01:25:22]  Like if he was good enough in Europe, he wouldn't even be going to regular school.
[01:25:26]  Like they're like, bro, you're pro at like 11.
[01:25:29]  But what do they do when those guys, when you get somebody where you can be going pro at 11, if it just doesn't pan out, what do they do at like 16?
[01:25:35]  They're pro in another, another lower division.
[01:25:38]  They go to some skittier country.
[01:25:40]  When they come to the MLS.
[01:25:41]  So they'd be like, forget getting the education, just play.
[01:25:43]  But what's the point of getting the education, bro?
[01:25:45]  We're here to get paid.
[01:25:46]  Yeah.
[01:25:47]  Our whole school system was set up for farming.
[01:25:50]  Like, we just wanted to give people enough knowledge to be able to be farmers.
[01:25:53]  Is that right?
[01:25:54]  Yes.
[01:25:54]  That's the whole American, the one schoolhouse thing.
[01:25:57]  It was to teach people how to be smart enough to run a farm.
[01:26:00]  We got to give you a little bit enough information so you're like kind of well-rounded.
[01:26:03]  But then you got to go get a job.
[01:26:05]  Like none of that junk matters.
[01:26:06]  That's why like pro tennis players go pro at 13.
[01:26:09]  Boxers at 16.
[01:26:10]  Like why are we trying to hold NBA players back?
[01:26:13]  You can be in the league at 16?
[01:26:15]  Yeah, we're trying to hold them back, obviously, because there's like a billion dollar industry that gets supported.
[01:26:19]  Oh, yeah, NCAA.
[01:26:20]  Absolutely.
[01:26:21]  100%.
[01:26:22]  But LeBron could have been like in Europe, Luca and them, they be playing pro for years before they come to the league.
[01:26:28]  That's why they'd be so much more developed because they've been playing against grown men for a long time.
[01:26:33]  That's why LeBron.
[01:26:33]  Remember LeBron got like 20 and 10, his first game in the league?
[01:26:37]  Like imagine he'd been able to be pro for four years before he came to the league.
[01:26:41]  Like, bro, he was playing against kids who were going to algebra.
[01:26:44]  I mean, you got to go play LeBron James.
[01:26:46]  Are you kidding me?
[01:26:49]  I was just at lunch.
[01:26:50]  Now I got to guard somebody who's 6'A, I'm 5'11 at a school in the suburb.
[01:26:55]  What you want me to do with LeBron James?
[01:26:56]  The people who had to play against him.
[01:26:58]  Like, why even line up?
[01:26:59]  Like, oh, let's dunk on everybody.
[01:27:03]  Not the other good team.
[01:27:04]  I'm talking about Wesley and Catholic.
[01:27:08]  Their game on Thursday in November.
[01:27:10]  Them kids ain't got no chance against LeBron.
[01:27:13]  Wesley and Catholic.
[01:27:15]  Oladipo Ola Goon said, was Tom Brady's commercial?
[01:27:19]  I'm staying with the Patriots or I'm Staying in the League and Not Retiring Commercial.
[01:27:22]  Just see that Tom Brady.
[01:27:24]  Yeah.
[01:27:25]  I thought that was good.
[01:27:26]  I think he's staying in the league, not the Patriots.
[01:27:28]  You know what I think?
[01:27:29]  You know what I think he could possibly go?
[01:27:31]  The Raiders?
[01:27:32]  San Francisco.
[01:27:33]  No, they just paid Jimmy.
[01:27:35]  I think that they'll be getting him.
[01:27:36]  They get the same money.
[01:27:38]  I don't know how I'm going to do it.
[01:27:39]  To sit him underneath him because he always wanted to play for the 49ers.
[01:27:42]  He's from the Bay.
[01:27:43]  Who, Tom Brady?
[01:27:44]  Yes.
[01:27:44]  I might have misunderstood the tweet, but someone was saying the Niners could save like $25 million moving on from Garoppolo and signing Brady or Brees.
[01:27:53]  What?
[01:27:53]  You're telling me if you put cutting him?
[01:27:55]  I don't know how.
[01:27:56]  And that's why I didn't look into it to see that.
[01:27:58]  You're telling me if you put Tom Brady on the 49ers as presently constructed, do you really think the game goes down like it did last night?
[01:28:05]  No, absolutely not.
[01:28:06]  Brady gonna get you that absolutely not.
[01:28:08]  Tom Brady, the reason they won.
[01:28:10]  Bosa, the Magic Commons?
[01:28:16]  Oh, my God.
[01:28:17]  Bosa's relentless, too.
[01:28:19]  Yo, did y'all see Jamila Hill's goofy ass tweet?
[01:28:22]  This bitch.
[01:28:23]  What's this?
[01:28:23]  It's too much.
[01:28:24]  Jamil Hill.
[01:28:25]  Jamil.
[01:28:26]  Somebody went through and found that Nick Bosa follows an account that made a joke about Kobe's death.
[01:28:32]  And she's like, this is who Nick Bosa is.
[01:28:34]  He's following this account.
[01:28:35]  But it's a satirical Instagram account that has jokes.
[01:28:38]  So it's like.
[01:28:39]  It's like a meme page.
[01:28:40]  It's a meme page.
[01:28:41]  So you can't control what memes are posted on that page.
[01:28:43]  He didn't like it.
[01:28:44]  He didn't like it or anything.
[01:28:47]  She's using it.
[01:28:48]  It's like a guilty buy association type of thing.
[01:28:50]  Yeah, she's like, but this is the type of person is he would follow an account.
[01:28:53]  They would post something that he had no clue.
[01:28:55]  They would post.
[01:28:56]  That's a little tough.
[01:28:57]  She did some shit to Dez, too.
[01:28:59]  I'm a big Dez Bryant fan.
[01:29:00]  Dez went to Blaze Pizza and tipped like $100 of somebody, like a Blaze Pizza.
[01:29:04]  And then the waitress retweeted and said, I'm still going to root for, I'm still not a Cowboy fan, though.
[01:29:08]  I still hate the Cowboys or whatever.
[01:29:10]  Dez retweets that and he's like, oh, I guess I won't be eating a Blaze Pizza anymore, laughing.
[01:29:14]  And then Jamil Hill, because Dez wouldn't kneel, she was like, oh, so you'll take a stand against Blaze Pizza, but you won't take a stand against.
[01:29:21]  Dot, dot, dot.
[01:29:22]  Never mind.
[01:29:23]  And then she tried to backtrack and be like, I was kidding.
[01:29:26]  But it's like, no, you aren't, bitch.
[01:29:27]  And if you are, that's an Ari Shafir level joke.
[01:29:30]  Like, you ain't doing nothing but bringing trouble.
[01:29:33]  Yeah, I don't know.
[01:29:34]  I think that's a hot take.
[01:29:35]  That's a hot take right there.
[01:29:36]  You just called Jamil Hill Ari Shafir.
[01:29:38]  Son.
[01:29:40]  That was an epic level reach.
[01:29:44]  Put that on the IG.
[01:29:45]  I don't give a fuck.
[01:29:47]  Let this bitch retweet me.
[01:29:50]  Jamil Hill's nice, man.
[01:29:52]  I met her.
[01:29:52]  You did?
[01:29:52]  Oh, yeah, I was with you.
[01:29:53]  I respect that she took a stand enough to lose an ill-ass job at ESPN.
[01:29:57]  She quit.
[01:29:58]  She quit.
[01:29:59]  She believed that she was a little bit more than that.
[01:29:59]  But that was the person that she used to be in the show with.
[01:30:01]  What was his name?
[01:30:02]  He left too.
[01:30:03]  They both left?
[01:30:04]  Yeah, he left too.
[01:30:05]  Do they do sports still?
[01:30:06]  Yeah, he ain't getting no credit.
[01:30:07]  I don't give a fuck about him.
[01:30:09]  She works in the Atlantic.
[01:30:10]  He started some new venture.
[01:30:11]  But he was a writer by trade.
[01:30:13]  Yeah, he should have been.
[01:30:15]  Yeah.
[01:30:16]  I think they just got tired of being an ESPN.
[01:30:19]  That could happen.
[01:30:20]  Yeah.
[01:30:21]  I think ESPN's past his prime.
[01:30:22]  Yeah, they had a show, though.
[01:30:24]  I'll be watching the.
[01:30:25]  Isn't hers.
[01:30:26]  Yeah, but it just wasn't doing that well.
[01:30:27]  And I think they kind of got ahead of the show being.
[01:30:30]  Oh, brother.
[01:30:31]  I think that was.
[01:30:33]  Look, it's a tricky time.
[01:30:34]  It is.
[01:30:35]  Second question.
[01:30:35]  Second question he asked that I think we should talk about.
[01:30:38]  He talked about one night, but we should talk about it longer.
[01:30:40]  Can we talk about the spirit of Kobe Bryant possessing Damian Lillard on his memorial night at the Staples Center?
[01:30:44]  Bro.
[01:30:45]  Actually, it's been like two weeks now.
[01:30:46]  Yeah, he's been on that.
[01:30:47]  Damian Lillard is averaging like 48.6 points a game over his last like seven.
[01:30:51]  And it's like, he's not taking, it's not like 30% shooting.
[01:30:54]  It's like 60% shooting.
[01:30:55]  He's a different guy.
[01:30:56]  Nine assists per game.
[01:30:57]  It's different right now.
[01:30:59]  Right.
[01:30:59]  Yeah, he.
[01:31:00]  I really like him just for one, just because he's just all about ball.
[01:31:04]  Like, I don't really care from him, but he balls and he's balling on an epic tear.
[01:31:08]  I feel like maybe he's just really, really been inspired and going on one of those tears.
[01:31:13]  I think that's what Kobe would have wanted.
[01:31:17]  Yeah.
[01:31:17]  I saw the one funny Kobe joke I saw was like, you know, the team, I think the Spurs and the Kings, whoever's playing, they both ran out the clock the first time.
[01:31:25]  And somebody was like, Kobe is the most competitive person ever.
[01:31:29]  He was like, every possession counts.
[01:31:30]  Like, that was like a funny joke in the spirit of Kobe.
[01:31:34]  Somebody asked Dane, like, did you want to kind of let them win tonight?
[01:31:37]  And Dame was like, no.
[01:31:39]  Nobody wins.
[01:31:39]  We're just playing basketball, but also, I want to go for 40.
[01:31:42]  You know what's funny about Dame?
[01:31:43]  I know it's not the answer to the question.
[01:31:45]  Russell Westbrook keeps taunting Dame, and Dame embarrasses him time and time again.
[01:31:53]  He pulling up from the logo on Russ 40.
[01:31:56]  Remember when he eliminated the Thunder?
[01:31:59]  He said that that guy waved by him.
[01:32:00]  He said that was the killed the franchise with that shit.
[01:32:04]  It was the most dagger-ish dagger I've ever seen.
[01:32:08]  And Russell keeps coming back.
[01:32:09]  And it's like, this is the most lopsided rivalry like Dame.
[01:32:13]  He's off the bench now, yo.
[01:32:14]  Is he?
[01:32:15]  I mean, he should be.
[01:32:16]  I don't know if he is, but he finishes.
[01:32:18]  You're a glorified super sub.
[01:32:20]  That's James Harden's team.
[01:32:21]  You should come off the bench, be Manu, but like, you're not even the best player on your own team anymore.
[01:32:25]  Nah.
[01:32:26]  Was he ever the best player on this team?
[01:32:27]  Yeah.
[01:32:28]  Oh, the MVP season.
[01:32:29]  Yeah, when he was dropping triple doubles.
[01:32:31]  But he's just not good enough to carry the team.
[01:32:34]  And I think somebody said it.
[01:32:35]  It's like.
[01:32:35]  Wait, Russell's not good enough to carry the team?
[01:32:37]  You don't think so?
[01:32:38]  No.
[01:32:38]  You're probably not your best team if Russell Westbrook is your best player.
[01:32:41]  You're down by three.
[01:32:42]  You want the ball, and Harden's head over Russell?
[01:32:45]  Yeah.
[01:32:46]  Absolutely.
[01:32:46]  I feel like Russell got that dog in him, though, that won't allow him to.
[01:32:49]  Absolutely not.
[01:32:50]  He had that dog, but he don't got that shot.
[01:32:53]  He takes a lot of bad shots.
[01:32:54]  Yeah.
[01:32:55]  A lot of bad shots.
[01:32:55]  And we're fans of him.
[01:32:56]  And I like Russell, but have you seen Harden?
[01:32:59]  Yeah, but I feel like he's a lot of ISO balls.
[01:33:01]  Nah, but that's what happens.
[01:33:02]  Everybody's got to just sit around and watch him and be like, all right.
[01:33:05]  But you also can't stop him, though.
[01:33:07]  He just has more things he can do with the ball, right?
[01:33:09]  Like, Russell, he got to get in that mid-range.
[01:33:11]  He can't pull up for three.
[01:33:12]  You got to get the mid-range.
[01:33:13]  You got to back you down.
[01:33:14]  Any double team comes, he's going to have to pass out of it.
[01:33:16]  But James, if you don't play up on me, I'm wet.
[01:33:20]  Absolutely.
[01:33:21]  If you do play up on me, it's a layup easy.
[01:33:24]  My drive passes.
[01:33:25]  And then as soon as you catch the first step back, do you think he's a flopper or do you really feel like he gets fouled on it?
[01:33:29]  No, he's a flopper.
[01:33:30]  No, he flops.
[01:33:30]  His game is annoying as fuck.
[01:33:32]  James rewards it.
[01:33:34]  That's the thing that's fucked up.
[01:33:35]  It's like you almost can't blame him because he hacked the game of basketball.
[01:33:38]  Yeah.
[01:33:38]  He found a way to score, and that's the point.
[01:33:41]  It's like, if you're an offensive player, find a way to score.
[01:33:43]  Oh, I get fouled.
[01:33:44]  All right, boom.
[01:33:44]  You did it.
[01:33:45]  Do you feel like they can make noise in the playoffs this year?
[01:33:47]  No.
[01:33:47]  No, absolutely not.
[01:33:48]  No.
[01:33:48]  Who y'all think will take it this year?
[01:33:50]  LeBron.
[01:33:52]  Yo, LeBron does it, man.
[01:33:55]  It'll be dope.
[01:33:56]  LeBron, bro, he's going to be hard to play.
[01:33:58]  Everybody say all that, but then when they be playing the Clippers, they're going to be playing with the game.
[01:34:01]  I think it's going to be.
[01:34:02]  If Kawhi is healthy because he sat games out, White Doughboy.
[01:34:05]  They'll win.
[01:34:07]  If Kawhi is healthy, I think the Clippers win.
[01:34:09]  If Kawhi is healthy and Paul George is healthy, you're taking them over AD and LeBron?
[01:34:14]  Yes.
[01:34:14]  Yes.
[01:34:15]  The thing is, the Clippers had a nice run last year without Kawhi or Paul George.
[01:34:20]  And they didn't lose anybody to gain them.
[01:34:22]  They took two off the Warriors.

=== LeBron Playoff Expectations (08:33) ===

[01:34:24]  Yeah.
[01:34:24]  Yeah.
[01:34:26]  With KD.
[01:34:27]  Yeah.
[01:34:27]  With Philly Healthy.
[01:34:28]  Then they won't go to seven or went to six.
[01:34:30]  Seven.
[01:34:30]  Six.
[01:34:31]  Was it six?
[01:34:31]  Yeah, they took two off the six.
[01:34:33]  Yeah.
[01:34:33]  Yeah, Lou Williams balled out of this.
[01:34:35]  Lou Williams out of this world.
[01:34:36]  Still there.
[01:34:37]  Montrez Harold.
[01:34:38]  I'm going to tell y'all who I think the sleeper is for this season.
[01:34:41]  And I could see them realistically winning the championship.
[01:34:43]  The Heat.
[01:34:45]  What?
[01:34:46]  I think something about Jimmy Butler that I see that I trust.
[01:34:50]  They're doing well.
[01:34:50]  Win the championship.
[01:34:51]  I think that.
[01:34:52]  Come on.
[01:34:53]  Because the East is weak.
[01:34:54]  You don't feel like they can come out of the East?
[01:34:55]  I think the Bucks will come out.
[01:34:56]  I don't think they can beat the Bucs four times.
[01:34:58]  I think the Bucks.
[01:34:58]  Did you see what happened to the Bucs last year from the Raptors?
[01:35:00]  Yeah, Kawhi.
[01:35:01]  They had Kawhi, though.
[01:35:02]  You forget that.
[01:35:04]  Kawhi was a different picker.
[01:35:06]  Kawhi happens.
[01:35:07]  That was my slogan.
[01:35:08]  I'm marking Kawhi.
[01:35:10]  So if you have the Bucs and the Heat in the Eastern Conference finals, you're just automatically saying the Bucs?
[01:35:15]  Yes.
[01:35:16]  The Raptors got a chance.
[01:35:17]  I don't know why people sleep on the Raptors.
[01:35:19]  Like, this could pass Kelsey Occam is playing.
[01:35:21]  That was the only one they wouldn't give up, too, right?
[01:35:23]  Yep.
[01:35:23]  Yeah, yeah, go.
[01:35:24]  Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[01:35:25]  It's right out there.
[01:35:25]  Yeah, they get one more of them quests.
[01:35:27]  Mark, help them out there so the whole thing don't fall apart.
[01:35:31]  I don't know much about this, but I heard, apparently, this is from Taylor Nog.
[01:35:34]  There's a new Taylor Swift documentary, and it's like really trash in the Kanye moment.
[01:35:38]  And I guess saying it's like classic property.
[01:35:41]  Okay, don't we think this is the moment that really polarized and skyrocketed her career?
[01:35:45]  Yeah, she was popping already.
[01:35:46]  She was popping.
[01:35:47]  But she did capitalize off the moment.
[01:35:49]  And I can't even be mad at her.
[01:35:51]  She should.
[01:35:51]  Listen, as you should.
[01:35:52]  She should capitalize off her moment.
[01:35:54]  Exactly.
[01:35:55]  Trying to pass it to Beyonce.
[01:35:56]  Like, if you're Taylor Swift, you milk that.
[01:35:59]  And I agree with Schultz.
[01:36:01]  She didn't care about Beyonce's moments.
[01:36:02]  Yay, wanted to be the guy saying this should be.
[01:36:06]  Absolutely.
[01:36:06]  That's actually fantastic.
[01:36:07]  He cares about how it's always.
[01:36:08]  Can't I find them both incredibly annoying?
[01:36:10]  Yeah.
[01:36:12]  I thought Taylor Swift acted like that.
[01:36:13]  It's such a traumatic moment.
[01:36:14]  Is it such a white woman thing to do?
[01:36:16]  Yeah.
[01:36:16]  It's a fucking VMA, bitch.
[01:36:18]  It's not a Grammy hoe.
[01:36:20]  It's a fucking VMA.
[01:36:22]  I feel like she milked it.
[01:36:24]  It's a fucking astronaut trophy, bitch.
[01:36:26]  What you want to say about an astronaut with popcorn, bitch?
[01:36:29]  Get the fuck out of here.
[01:36:31]  That's a month of therapy, Max, bitch.
[01:36:33]  Stupid ass ass.
[01:36:35]  She was writing songs about it.
[01:36:36]  I was like, oh, God, enough.
[01:36:39]  Relax.
[01:36:39]  He's still talking about it.
[01:36:41]  It's been a decade.
[01:36:42]  This shit was before Tiger Woods cheated on his fucking girl.
[01:36:45]  What's it?
[01:36:46]  Bro, that was like 2007 or 2000.
[01:36:48]  2009.
[01:36:48]  It was like the same year.
[01:36:50]  Wow.
[01:36:50]  I didn't realize it been that long.
[01:36:52]  Stupid ass bitch.
[01:36:55]  I have strong feelings about this moment.
[01:36:57]  Her fans hate me, man.
[01:36:59]  Oh, God.
[01:37:00]  Because she made that.
[01:37:01]  Somebody said that Taylor looked light-skinned in a video.
[01:37:04]  And I was like, Taylor Swift looks like Taylor is literally the whitest person ever.
[01:37:08]  And they were, I mean, her fans.
[01:37:11]  Oh, my God.
[01:37:12]  All in my mentions.
[01:37:13]  I had a picture of the previous videos: my son scoring a soccer goal.
[01:37:16]  This kid's never going to be anything but you.
[01:37:20]  Dog, man.
[01:37:21]  They were as bad as World Star.
[01:37:23]  Oh, yeah.
[01:37:23]  World Star coming.
[01:37:25]  Oh, the Beehive is the worst.
[01:37:26]  What is her age and the fast call?
[01:37:28]  The Taylor Rights?
[01:37:28]  The Swifties, I think.
[01:37:29]  Swifties.
[01:37:30]  Swifters.
[01:37:30]  Swifters?
[01:37:31]  Something like that.
[01:37:31]  I don't know.
[01:37:32]  Swifters.
[01:37:32]  What are they called, man?
[01:37:34]  I don't know.
[01:37:36]  I don't know.
[01:37:37]  You don't need no swift.
[01:37:39]  No, what's up with Justin Bieber not selling albums no more?
[01:37:42]  Is he not?
[01:37:43]  Oh, no.
[01:37:43]  He was selling.
[01:37:44]  They're not that good, though.
[01:37:45]  He was trying to be Roddy Rich.
[01:37:46]  I would have thought that we hadn't heard from Justin Bieber and solo.
[01:37:50]  Has anybody heard the new Justin Bieber album?
[01:37:52]  You can't.
[01:37:52]  I think it's just the song.
[01:37:54]  That Roddy Rich song is so dope.
[01:37:55]  It's just sometimes a wave happens.
[01:37:57]  There's nothing.
[01:37:58]  It's like a little knot song.
[01:38:00]  It is.
[01:38:01]  You look like you're getting in the way of a tank.
[01:38:03]  Like, this is going to be what it's going to be.
[01:38:05]  That's timing.
[01:38:05]  That's how you just get out the way.
[01:38:08]  That shit out.
[01:38:08]  Like, when Duvall's smile came out.
[01:38:11]  Nothing you could do.
[01:38:12]  Nothing you can do about it.
[01:38:13]  Just let it happen.
[01:38:14]  Let it happen.
[01:38:15]  I heard about the box before I ever heard that song.
[01:38:17]  Like, I heard memes about it, people talking about it.
[01:38:20]  I had to go search it because it wasn't hitting my periphery.
[01:38:24]  I was talking about it.
[01:38:25]  So when Justin and Serena were saying that, they were saying that for their singles to sell, not their albums?
[01:38:30]  No, their albums.
[01:38:31]  Okay.
[01:38:31]  So Justin did put that album.
[01:38:34]  No, I think he was trying to.
[01:38:35]  So it was both.
[01:38:36]  He wanted Yumi to hit Yumi to hit number one.
[01:38:38]  She wanted her album to hit number one.
[01:38:40]  Yeah, Roddy Rich was just beating both of them.
[01:38:42]  No, no, she beat him.
[01:38:43]  She got the number one out.
[01:38:44]  It worked.
[01:38:44]  Yeah.
[01:38:45]  But he got it back the next week, though, right?
[01:38:46]  I didn't follow it after that.
[01:38:48]  I lost interest.
[01:38:49]  I didn't even know she made music like that.
[01:38:51]  I didn't either.
[01:38:52]  Yo, Roddy tweeted something funny.
[01:38:53]  He was like, yo, go stream Justin's album.
[01:38:56]  Yeah, Serena's album.
[01:38:58]  They both made videos to their fans.
[01:39:00]  Like, man, listen, go to sleep and just let it loop.
[01:39:03]  That was like Lil Knots when Pastor Troy went on that thing.
[01:39:05]  I don't know if y'all heard about that.
[01:39:06]  Pastor Troy was, him and his son were at Applebee's, and apparently two gay dudes were eating mozzarella sticks, and him and his son had had enough.
[01:39:13]  Yeah.
[01:39:13]  And then Y'all didn't hear about this?
[01:39:17]  Oh, Pastor Troy went on this Instagram.
[01:39:18]  He put a picture of Lil Nos asking this pink cowboy suit, pink hat, and he was like, if this is what I got to wear to win a Grammy, then I'll never win one.
[01:39:24]  And Lil Knox was like, I look good in that, though.
[01:39:26]  Like, you can't troll internet kids.
[01:39:30]  He came up being a Nicki Minaj fan leader or something like that.
[01:39:34]  Like, he's like a comic at this point.
[01:39:36]  Everything is material, so you look worse.
[01:39:39]  Trying to go.
[01:39:40]  Yeah, because he's using everything against you.
[01:39:43]  Then they started memeing Pastor Troy.
[01:39:45]  It was just fantastic.
[01:39:46]  Pastor Troy.
[01:39:47]  He used to be a rapper back in the day.
[01:39:49]  Old school rough gangster hip-hop.
[01:39:51]  You know a Pastor Troy song.
[01:39:53]  I can't think of it right now.
[01:39:54]  I was going to say, did you?
[01:39:55]  I don't know.
[01:39:56]  You know, I'm a pastor.
[01:39:58]  I'm a Troy.
[01:40:00]  I can't think of one of the more records.
[01:40:02]  Nothing just.
[01:40:03]  He has a song.
[01:40:04]  What is Pastor Troy's big song?
[01:40:07]  Is it Big Ball and Snashing Fipping My In?
[01:40:10]  Something like that.
[01:40:11]  Oh, Baller, Shot Caller.
[01:40:13]  Yeah, and that is.
[01:40:14]  Is that Pastor Troy?
[01:40:15]  Pastor Troy?
[01:40:16]  28 Baller.
[01:40:17]  Want to be a baller?
[01:40:18]  Is that a bad thing?
[01:40:19]  Carla, get late tonight.
[01:40:20]  Pastor Troy.
[01:40:21]  That's not Pastor Troy.
[01:40:24]  If it's not here, we're going to be able to get it.
[01:40:26]  That might be Pastor Troy.
[01:40:28]  Yeah, Lil Troy.
[01:40:32]  That's not even Pastor Troy.
[01:40:35]  That's a whole different Troy.
[01:40:36]  Them Troy's will get you, bro.
[01:40:37]  Them Troy's going to get you right now.
[01:40:39]  So what did Pastor Troy do?
[01:40:40]  I don't know, man.
[01:40:41]  Nobody gave a fuck.
[01:40:42]  Not enough.
[01:40:44]  Hey, we're perfect.
[01:40:45]  Damn, we had a whole somebody else's hour.
[01:40:47]  Lil Troy's like, it's happening again.
[01:40:51]  We got to wrap this up, man.
[01:40:52]  But thank y'all so much for coming.
[01:40:54]  Appreciate y'all, man.
[01:40:55]  Yo, y'all got to come to New York, dude.
[01:40:56]  Oh, man.
[01:40:57]  I'm coming to New York in April.
[01:40:59]  Yo, come on.
[01:41:00]  Yes.
[01:41:00]  Come on, what?
[01:41:01]  Come on Flagrant, man.
[01:41:02]  We weren't on Flagrant?
[01:41:03]  You are.
[01:41:04]  But when you're in New York, you come to the bottom.
[01:41:05]  Oh, yeah.
[01:41:06]  I was like, what's going to do it for the birthday?
[01:41:09]  What was this?
[01:41:10]  Trial run, dude.
[01:41:11]  No, no, yeah, yeah.
[01:41:11]  We'll absolutely come.
[01:41:12]  Yeah, this is the best.
[01:41:13]  Don't boy, pull up, man.
[01:41:16]  We'll do some New York.
[01:41:17]  Y'all got the new studio there?
[01:41:18]  Yeah, man.
[01:41:19]  I want you guys to check out the new studio.
[01:41:20]  I'm actually going.
[01:41:21]  I'm going to copy you again because we just got a new office and it's all white walls.
[01:41:25]  Yo, let me tell you something.
[01:41:26]  Your shit before was trash.
[01:41:27]  Damn, man.
[01:41:29]  Why did you tell us this?
[01:41:30]  I thought you'd be filming me on a fucking iPhone.
[01:41:32]  Didn't I tell you this is ridiculous?
[01:41:33]  He didn't tell us that.
[01:41:35]  He said that.
[01:41:36]  And then the office deserves better, bro.
[01:41:38]  And then the producer was giving y'all attitude.
[01:41:40]  I was like, yo, put up with this shit because I'm filming on the iPhone.
[01:41:43]  What the fuck is this?
[01:41:44]  He doesn't want to shoot on the iPhone.
[01:41:45]  That was me.
[01:41:46]  I like the iPhone.
[01:41:49]  We got the Sonies and stuff.
[01:41:50]  It's just, I don't even know why I complain.
[01:41:51]  I don't even edit the stuff.
[01:41:53]  Why am I complaining?
[01:41:54]  Somebody else has to deal with the footage.
[01:41:56]  We got to get you two to come on and come do the righteous ratchet.
[01:41:58]  You know what I'm saying?
[01:41:59]  Next time you're in L.A. We'll see you next time.
[01:42:01]  Thank you for having us, man.
[01:42:02]  We appreciate it.
[01:42:02]  This is great.
[01:42:04]  Kev on stage everywhere, Righteous Ratchet.
[01:42:07]  Joe Boy D-O-B-O-Y.
[01:42:08]  This is what Andrew usually does.
[01:42:09]  I think it's a good way to promote.
[01:42:10]  What's the episode of your podcast that you think if you're if I'm a new listener?
[01:42:14]  Joe Boy bought a car that can't reverse.
[01:42:15]  Yes.
[01:42:16]  Joe Boy bought a car that can't reverse.
[01:42:18]  The funniest episode of our podcast.
[01:42:20]  Episode.
[01:42:20]  But that's what we do.
[01:42:22]  Not just our podcast.
[01:42:23]  Because the last episode could have been a dud.
[01:42:25]  And not even that.
[01:42:26]  It's just too many episodes.
[01:42:26]  It gets overwhelming and you're like, what should I spend time?
[01:42:29]  And then you just go away.
[01:42:30]  But if you say there's one episode that's so fire and they listen to it and they don't like it, good, because they're not supposed to be a fan.
[01:42:36]  And if they do like it, I love that.
[01:42:37]  That's a bar right there.
[01:42:39]  Joe Boy bought a car that can't reverse.
[01:42:42]  I like it.
[01:42:42]  And hey, man, run with it, bro.
[01:42:44]  There's nothing here that we do that you shouldn't copy, man.
[01:42:47]  It's for everybody.
[01:42:47]  I mean that sincerely.
[01:42:48]  For sure, man.
[01:42:49]  You don't even have to use that word copy.
[01:42:50]  It's for everybody.
[01:42:51]  It's yours already.
[01:42:52]  I'm with all of that, man.
[01:42:53]  I appreciate you, brother.
[01:42:54]  Thank you guys for sharing the platform.
[01:42:55]  Appreciate it, man.
[01:42:56]  Let's take it easy.
[01:42:57]  Man, peace.
[01:42:57]  God bless.