Andrew Schulz and Akaash Singh host Amin Elhassan and Van Lathan to dissect the Houston Astros' sign-stealing scandal, debating whether suspending executives rather than players adequately addresses historical cheating like the 1919 Black Sox. The conversation shifts to interracial relationships, analyzing Jesse Williams' marriage and Frederick Douglass's legacy while questioning if cultural leaders must maintain intra-racial unions to preserve power bases. Ultimately, the episode argues that while understanding systemic barriers like redlining is vital, true progress requires building independent empires through hustle rather than relying solely on historical grievances or seeking acceptance from a marginalized system. [Automatically generated summary]
Transcriber: nvidia/parakeet-tdt-0.6b-v2, sat-12l-sm, and large-v3-turbo
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Grieving Kobe Together00:02:27
What's up everybody, Shulte here.
Now, before we start the episode, I just wanted to address what's obviously running through everybody's mind, which is the tragic death of Kobe Bryant and his daughter Gigi and the other people in that helicopter.
The episode you're about to hear was recorded last week, so it was recorded before the tragic events transpired.
Obviously, we had no clue, so it's not addressed.
I just want to give a little message here in the beginning of the episode.
You guys know that we're thinking about it and that we will address it on the Patreon episode coming up and the next episode after that.
We'll make sure that we grieve Kobe together as the asshole army will always do.
And yeah, it's just a constant reminder, man.
Death is a constant reminder of the most valuable things in life.
And one of the things that I took away from it is that, you know, with sports, especially with athletes, you can hate an athlete irrationally, right?
You can hate an athlete just because he plays in a different city than the one that you're from or the one you live in.
And oftentimes that hate interrupts your ability to appreciate their greatness, you know.
And I just, I just, I refuse to let hate interrupt my ability to appreciate someone's greatness.
And whether that's in, you know, sports or podcasting or comedy, I don't care.
I'm not going to let rivalry or competition stop me from appreciating how great people are in this very short and not promised time we have on this earth.
So we love y'all.
Thank y'all so much for riding with us.
We're definitely going to talk about Kobe and share Kobe stories and have a great time reminiscing on that.
But for now, enjoy this episode.
We have two of my favorite people on.
Amin Al Hassan from ESPN and Van Lathan.
Van Latham, formerly at TMZ and about to go on and do great things.
And yeah, man, just enjoy the laughs.
Enjoy these laughs because right now, we all need them.
Peace.
What up, everybody?
Before we start, I just want to let you know that this episode is brought to you by none other than Raddix Remedies, Akash's favorite CBD company.
Real talk?
Enjoying The Laughs00:07:31
I put it together.
Akash got weed too.
Hashtag weed tude.
That's got to be the hashtag.
But if y'all want to go get the best CBD out on the market, go out there and get that right now.
All right.
It is Raddix Remedies.
That is the CBD company of the asshole army.
You go to Radix Remedies.
That's R-A-D-I-X Remedies.com slash flagrant.
Use our promo code flagrant.
And you know that you're getting all the discounts.
You enter your email.
You could get an ounce of CBD a week for free for a year.
That's right.
Go there, sign up to the newsletter.
Make sure you get that discount that's only applied to the asshole army.
Okay.
You go to that website right now and you get that quality CBD.
You got some back pain.
Get that CBD.
It's not just joints that they smoke, which happened to be my favorite because you get that nice, casual, cool, comfortable environment, but you get it all.
Okay.
And then make sure you share it with your friends and tell them it's CBD.
And then when they get high, laugh in their face like Cash did.
Now let's start the show.
Bail my Barbara out of jail.
You build him out of jail.
Build him out of jail.
I'm like, not like, I can't risk it.
I had to.
I actually had to make the decision on the spot.
I get a weird DM.
A DM.
Yo, I managed you on the DM.
No, no.
He didn't hit me on the DM.
His girl hit me on the DM.
I get a weird DM like, yo, Trey Cousins is in jail.
I'm like, for real?
It's like, yo, we're trying to figure out to come up with his bail.
Trey Cuss, shout out to Trey Cuss.
Now, my first thing was to be like, Yo, I am not about to spend no money to get this nigga out of jail.
No fucking way.
Then you looked in the mirror.
I looked in the mirror.
And I bet you I looked in the mirror and I was like, fuck.
No, we need a freak tray.
All right, man.
What's the cash at?
And so I put it on the fucking cash app, and he told me the whole story.
This is a true story about what had happened and all of this shit like that.
But his life is so spicy that while he's cutting me, he's got new, really awful shit to tell me every week.
And it's just part of the thing.
He's like your TMZ.
A little bit.
Same thing.
And by the way, he comes to my house to do the haircut because he can't stay in the barber.
He is the best barber in the world.
Wait, so he's a house call barber or you specifically worked?
He wasn't a house call barber.
I followed him to each shop that he's been to.
Yeah.
He was at like, seriously, he used to be on.
He was when I met him years ago, like I was Fat Man.
Right.
Like, I met him years ago.
He was on Pico.
Pico, Fairfax, Fairfax.
Yeah, right there.
Brea.
Then, like, well, Brea back to Fairfax.
And then, yo, bro, I got to come cut you at the crib.
We together, though.
Wow.
Wasn't that by the Roscos?
Which one?
Oh, right on the street.
Yeah, yeah.
You working by Roscoe's.
He laughed, got some trouble.
I'm blown away.
That's a real story.
Why does he owe you free cuts for bailout?
Yo, yo, yo.
This is a perfect example.
He worked off the bailouts.
This is a perfect example.
He worked them off.
First of all, I love that.
Yeah.
I had a cleaning lady that worked off sending her kid to camp.
I gave her $1,000 to send her kid to camp.
And I think she assumed since I was on TV, it was just going to send her kid to camp.
Yeah, I feel like you ain't shit for that.
No, that's what you do when you bail somebody out.
When you send a kid to camp, you're not like, all right, bitch.
He's got the payments.
Right, the next time you come to clean, like, nah, bitch, that was free.
Yeah.
Not free.
I already paid for it.
I paid for it.
Yeah.
We don't all need to go to camp.
Say what?
Wait, hold on.
So let's.
You're blowing my mind if you tip your cleaning lady.
I tip my cleaning lady.
Why?
That's the job to clean it good.
Nah, everybody tips a cleaning lady, don't they?
Nobody's cleaning lady.
I don't think that's.
You know what's crazy?
Cleaning lady is not that expensive in New York.
No, no.
What's crazy?
Everything else done is so different on the West.
I got my cheapest friend, and you tip the least, but you tip your cleaning lady.
Tip the cleaning lady.
But why?
Wait, the job is to get in general, but like this is the one.
Bitches up in my toilets.
I don't give a fuck about a waiter, yo.
Bring me food.
I'm going to pay you after I eat because you didn't spit in my shit.
Suck my dick.
Cleaning lady, up in my toilets, up in the tub.
You take a little extra.
The difference is that the cleaning lady makes an actual living wage, whereas the waiter doesn't.
So the cleaning lady could actually live without.
Why do you know she makes a living wage?
So you see.
The way I pay, you go to camp.
You just do all the camera.
No, you can't.
Oh, my wage.
No, you the fuck.
Well, somebody went to camp.
You need extra payment to go to camp.
Somebody went.
She came asking for a rack.
What am I supposed to do?
Say, here it is.
First of all, what kind of camp costs a thousand dollars?
First of all, he said this kid's 20 years old.
The kid's 20.
Oh, he took that.
Oh, the camp was in Peru.
He took that money to flip it.
He's like, what?
Like, it's $1,000 for a camp.
$1,000.
You came in next week with a fucking fur coat up.
A full coat on.
Hey, what happened to my thousand?
I'm trying to think of what Spanish word sounds like camp that she probably asked for.
Well, you just didn't fucking.
I just assumed it was camp.
But yeah, I can't imagine that you, of all people.
How much do you tip her?
Like 10 bucks.
How much do you pay for it?
So if she cleans the whole spot, her and her, her like one other lady, it's 90.
So I just give him 100.
That's not, I mean, come on.
All right.
I just don't understand why you think it's deserved.
The job is to clean it good.
That's what they're getting paid to do.
But you could make the same argument about a barber.
Nah.
I'll be honest with you.
Because your hair does.
No, no, you can.
You can make that all right.
I'm not a bad barber.
You're right.
You're 100% right.
And I feel like you tip the barber so that not you get a good haircut, so you get preferential time treatment.
There you go.
That's you tip the barber because I need to be in and out.
I took my barber because, hey, man, last minute, I got to fly out.
Let's see your haircut to see how much you can tip the barcode.
You know why?
You got a hat on.
You came in here because you got a lot of confidence in your haircut.
And you, like, you talk about your haircut.
Let's see.
First of all, I'm not sure.
You got a hat like you got Larry David hair.
I've been growing my hair out.
I've been growing my hair out, but like, I haven't put the product and all that stuff in.
It's not that bad.
No, no, no.
Nah, you look all right.
I've never been more disappointed in you.
Like, you thought it was good.
And the way you just blew that whole thing up when you look kind of suave.
No, no, no, don't go there.
Don't go there.
You look a little.
It's like a bunch of people.
I gotta put your product in it.
Like, I haven't put the product in it today because.
What is the product?
More hair?
Genuine.
Like, genuinely thinning hair.
It looks like Scotty Pippen with diabetes, bro.
I love diabetes just made you lose your hair.
Come on.
Some people lose fingers.
Somebody lose fingers.
Some people lose a fucking leg.
You actually got the good diabetes.
You're gonna hair one?
Most people lose their hair.
I don't know, man.
I just lose hair.
That's something.
You lose a finger, but you got a strong hairline.
I kind of feel like you won that.
Of course, you won.
You're not on finasteride?
What's up?
You're not on finasteride?
You're not on Propetia?
Like me?
No, man.
You know what?
Like, first of all, I use only natural products.
You know, like.
Man, you're getting too soon and ease now, man.
That's your hair we talking about, bro.
Don't cut that African shit out, rubbing shea butter in your fucking scalp.
I mean, it's not shea butter, but yeah, it's kind of shea.
What is it?
I don't know.
My mom makes it.
She makes this like unction or whatever.
Scamming the shit out of it.
He's got stuff.
Hit it.
Scamming as shit out of you.
Immigrant Rant Explained00:10:52
What do you got to say, Al?
Say that shit with your chest, Al.
He looked at you, he said.
Sitting back there with a fucking thousand-dollar hairline.
You didn't down the chest.
That's not fair, right?
His hairline is so fucking strong.
He's looking at you like judging you.
You know what?
You almost got the same haircut.
He's what you could be.
But here's the thing: two things.
One, tell us two things.
I'm looking at this yarmico on your head.
Tie me up.
Put back on.
When I got the product on it, it looked better.
It looked better when I was.
I'm not going to up front.
On TV, it looks hard.
It looks hard.
You didn't know that we had HD here.
You didn't know we were on 4K?
Bro, this four guys shave me into taking my hat off.
You know how in the middle of the day?
People like him, by the way.
Fuck you, Al.
I didn't say my man.
That was so good.
I didn't notice.
All I did was notice.
I see people like you every day.
And y'all walk around with your head held high and stuff.
I said, I hate y'all from afar, man.
When I have my product in, I put a hat.
You, Jason Tatum, Tatum got Rod Strickland.
I hate all of y'all, man.
Oh, shout out to Rod Strickland.
How often do you see Rod Strickland?
I see him all the time, man.
Why?
Is he doing Rod Strickland?
First of all, let me introduce our illustrious guests.
I hope we've already been recording.
Have we?
Okay, good.
Hit the button.
We have in the building two of really my favorite people in entertainment.
Two people that I have both loving, supportive conversations with and downright dirty debates.
Like literally about every facet of life.
We have Van Lathan and Amin Elhassan.
Obviously, you know Van from TMZ.
He's no longer a TMZ.
And I don't know if you've noticed a difference of TMZ, but they just tweeted out the N-word.
Did you see that?
Did see that.
People say you did that.
You hacked the Twitter and did it.
That's what I said.
No, no, no, no.
I did not do that.
Said that, but people then mentioned me along with the tweet, like TMZ, Harvey Levin, Van Latha.
What's going on?
And I'm like, Don't put my name in this shit.
That's the Jamal thing.
Yeah, that's Jamal Hill saying anytime something bad happens to ESPN, people tag her.
She's like, I don't work there anymore.
It used to be an occupational hazard.
Like, you accepted it.
Like, all right, I gotta do a little work for the.
But now, fuck it.
I'm not there.
Well, we also have a meme here from ESPN, All Things ESPN.
You've seen them frequently on The Jump, the Dan Lebatard show.
They are polar opposite Twitter followers.
I'll tell you that shit right now.
Why?
A meme ready to eviscerate everybody.
No, you smart ass comment here.
Not a member.
Man, quote, tweeting with some shit about fucking inequality.
It should be killing me.
Arkash, Arkash was having his moment.
He had this nice little immigrant rant.
And then I saw Van chime in.
I was like, oh, I got even know he's in the motherfucker.
I was like, wait, but wait, it wasn't my space.
It wasn't about the immigrant rant.
The immigrant rant is something that I can't even relate to.
I don't even like that.
The immigrant rant is actually what the fuck I love.
That's Akash talking to people that look like me.
That look like him.
Yeah.
You had one on Twitter.
No, It wasn't on that.
It wasn't on that.
Because that got posted, and I had no, I was like, look at this.
It was like, you came back, and I think the tweet was, the tweet was, he said, like, Elmer Fun.
Nah, we're here.
The tweet over the tweet.
I thought it was all about.
I did.
I did.
What was it?
No, it was something about like, I thought it was when you said the N-word for TMZ.
I think you were sure.
It was, he said, white, he said, white people, like people are ready to become white people or something like that.
I really didn't.
Yeah, I think, I think, I don't know if I even said it right.
I was just saying.
Yeah, I didn't even understand.
All I did was put question marks.
And then you know what happened?
He quote-tweeted question out.
You like tweet.
You like a little question.
So my point, you quote-tweeted to us.
I was like, all right, I guess it's a thing, but I just talked to Van directly.
So I say something back to Van, Van quote tweets my shit.
I'm like, sorry, we talking, you and me.
Van, you got to observe the etiquette, man.
Ain't it funny how people who shit on white people are the most want to emulate them.
And I quote tweeted and put the fucking question mark.
I want to know what you mean by that.
Look at that response.
Too bad.
Ain't no quote.
Right.
I never do that, though.
So Akash's response was, why the fuck would I have the same mentality as white colonizers if they were the personification of evil, which I think is harsh?
Why would I look at them as a standard for anything?
Somebody said something about like white people, white colonizers never treated you the way you're treating them or some shit like that.
Yo, and I was like, my point was, why would you want to be like white collar?
That original deal, I didn't understand.
And so we went back and forth.
But what happened was as we started to talk, it just became a regular conversation.
The point is, Van, there is an etiquette to Twitter conversations.
Which is what?
When you quote tweet, there is a subliminal message you're sending out.
I'm going to throw this ignorance out there for everybody to come fucking feast on your ass.
As opposed to a one-on-one conversation, you would just reply because if the people aren't following the both of y'all, they won't really see that in their timelines.
Okay, see, now you wish you didn't make fun of his hairline.
Nah, to me, now your secondary point is when you start talking about big words, big words, inequality, I was like, I don't know what's going on anymore.
You want it.
That's a cheat code you have in arguments.
No, there's no systematic something, something.
I'm like, I can't do it.
My head is not.
No winner.
Like what I was trying to get.
I'm overwhelmed by understanding of what you meant, and I got it.
So to me, that is natural.
To be fair, you guys did, you guys did call it.
We were dusting your balls.
So I was trying to, I was trying to understand.
The more interesting thing about the conversation, you know, you're going through it when you see a bunch of replies from fat bitches.
That's how you know Van Quote tweeted you, bro.
Fat bitches is coming after you.
Because them question marks, bro.
They're like five question marks.
It's not.
I just get shitter-baked biscuit to these fat bitches.
It's who did it.
I didn't get it.
I wanted to understand, and then I did.
Man, you now have a following.
That's the problem.
You are now, you don't belong to yourself anymore.
You belong.
Son, you're the only man to stand up to Kanye.
You're the symbol.
I know when you're in the city.
Tell a story about when you snuff Kanye afterwards and they cut it.
Oh, when I punched him in his shit?
Yeah, when you punched him afterwards.
My bad.
My bad.
We were making things up.
That's what we were doing.
Yo, for the record, y'all, this is Patreon, so this is only for our patrons.
So get wild.
Oh, what up?
Because y'all can't come on a fucking Monday because y'all got to come midweek.
Who records on a Monday?
Yeah, man.
Guys who are on the fucking road selling out theaters every weekend.
Thanks, Akash.
I didn't want to say it myself.
Got you, yo.
What did y'all flip-flop?
Wednesday is the public.
But we release on Tuesday.
Flagrant Tuesday.
And then, and then Thursday is obviously Brilliant Idiots.
No, okay.
Nonetheless, we always put out a portion of the podcast for the usage rate is so fucking high.
We got to go in, son.
We got to go in.
Let me say this.
You've made a life of all this.
Let me say this before.
Yeah, yeah, we pay for a lot.
I'm just, we pay for a whole lot.
Never going to run past that.
If you want to say that, we can say it again.
So I'm so excited that you both are here because you, we were trying to get you on Idiots today, but you were too busy for us.
I had mean early, yeah.
But I hit Charlotte yesterday because you touched down in New York and you did the well, back in the single days, what we used to do is, man, I'm in, you send out the tweet.
The bat signal.
He did the bat signal tweet.
He was like, New York is cold.
Nah, nah, you got a great girl.
That's how you're supposed to do it.
That's how we used to do it before they remember.
My dumbass.
Son, you know what a fucking nerd I am?
When I would travel, I would ask people where to eat and I would mean it.
I'd be like, what's a good restaurant in Jenford, Colorado?
You just act fake curious about the city.
Like you'd be in serious.
You'd be like, yeah, these arches are crazy.
Nah, the way I do it is like, oh, what's there to do?
And enter the city.
Boom.
That's too much.
I like, you got to be more subtle.
Like, oh, it's cold.
It's cold.
He's making an observation.
You can't be like him asking, like, hey, where's a good place to eat?
I thought it was a good place to eat.
Yeah, but he's not trying to.
He's not trying to.
How about another Barack Cheat code?
I just do that.
Wherever Barack ate, I'm eat there.
Yo, Alex Nee, he's so slick, bro.
Alex Need's so fucking slick, though.
So Alex is the showrunner for dropping in.
You know, the travel show we do.
So that means he organizes the whole thing, where we go, what we film, everything, right?
And we've been eating at some bomb-ass restaurants.
And I'm like, yo, Al Low-key is a foodie, bro.
Like, what the fuck is going on?
Like, how does he know all this shit?
And I realized the last three restaurants we went to, there's been a picture of Barack Obama eating in every restaurant.
So all he's been doing is, where does Barack Obama eat around the rest?
Where are we going?
Exactly.
Hey, man.
Control the spaces you can, my G. Control the spaces you can.
I get a little leeway.
I'm telling you that.
Anyway, I'm so excited you both came in.
I mean, as soon as you get wild, I have a question.
Just observation.
Go, go, go.
When did you Joe Button?
When did it become Andrew Schilson's flavor?
When did you roll it bald?
It's happening this week.
Shout out to the Joe Bunn podcast.
No, no, this week is officially happening because I'm going to make Casstar wear nail polish.
So Kaza have to start making nail polish as the thing.
But to be honest, we spoke about on the podcast.
You guys don't listen to Flagrant 2, obviously.
But we went on, I went on, I went on Rogan and we got this real nice bump for Brilliant Idiots, right?
And we didn't really experience the bump from for Flagrant.
And I typed my name into iTunes and I was like, surely Flagrant 2 will pop up if I type my name.
Fucking Chris Moreau, idiot, put everything under Loudspeakers Network.
You know, if you type Charlemagne into iTunes, Brilliant Idiots doesn't even come up.
Michael Jordan Lockout Talk00:17:14
Interesting.
So what we did is put my name in the actual title of the podcast because we figured my name was the most searchable, especially at that moment.
That's the most critical thing.
You bought that record.
No, no, no.
That's the record.
He ran it by us.
You bought that.
Matter of fact, we talked about what to do, and then I searched his name.
And I was like, you know, when you search your name, nothing comes up.
So we talked about it.
I sat them down first.
I was like, here's an idea.
You guys call this.
It's really up to you.
And it's time to go home and think.
And I was like, yeah, it makes sense.
And I thought about it for a night and I was like, yeah, let's do it.
To be fair, we've doubled listener shit.
Let me ask you a question.
Which is really what matters.
Hold on.
That's great, but let me ask you a question.
Yes.
What if you had come back and said, fuck that?
I don't want your name on this shit.
That's fine.
Then you guys would have been anonymous.
I'll sell a studio too.
Nobody asking questions about how much these cameras cost, my friends.
You know what I'm saying?
No, no.
In all seriousness, if we want to go back, it's totally fine as well.
It's just right now, we're in a space where we're on YouTube, and my name is searchable on YouTube, man.
It's like we have this video.
Video views have gone up.
We're doing 4 million views a week in fucking stand-up.
And it's like, why wouldn't we want to win?
Yeah.
Business gotta win.
I'm saying, once your name is bigger than Rachel Nichols.
This is gonna win.
That's never gonna happen.
She's gonna have to jump.
That's never gonna happen.
You don't think?
That'll never happen.
Not with that mentality, bro.
Once you get that hair product, bro, once that product's end up.
By the way, this is my last hurrah for the hair.
Really?
What do you mean?
You're gonna fucking take it off?
The next cut I get is gonna, or the next like cut down is gonna be all the way, and then I'm coming home.
I'll be honest with you, Dane.
If that's the case, take the fucking hat off.
Yo.
Your hair needs all.
Yo, let it have its blast.
That might be why this shit is fucked up.
Like Muhammad Ali carrying the Olympic torch.
You know what I mean?
Give me one last round.
It's very rare that I get to bang on somebody's hairline because my shit is running back too.
Wait a minute, wait a minute.
I think you have a good hairline.
Not really, bro.
Hold on, come back.
Oh, God.
I'm not dealing with your hairline.
But you like, oh, like, all God, you know, you get no say.
No, come on, come on.
You say it online, though.
I say it online all the time.
So I'm agreeing with you.
That's like Andrew going into the fucking NAACP meeting and giving his opinion.
We don't need you there.
Like, you got two more score.
We started the NCAA CP.
Nah, you can't.
White people started it.
But I'm saying is now you're...
You be starting all the cool black shit.
Let's start at the NCAA CP.
We started the N-word.
We started...
NCAA?
NCAA.
All the NC double shit.
We on that.
We're trying to get you out of it.
That's why you go, you're like, oh, we're trying to get you out of it.
That's why, no, bro.
You can't.
Al does have a good hairline.
Al got like a throwback to the 80s hairline.
That's a great hairline, bro.
It's good.
You can see your hairline through a museum.
Fucking fucking.
He tried to hold back text.
He tried to hold back text.
This is exactly what happened.
Is that what happened?
Dad turned and looked and like he didn't even like process the words.
He just looked at my hand.
And then I could see him put two to do together.
Like, oh, shit, he's right.
I can see through it.
It's like a, almost like a mirage or something.
Like one of them reflector joints that look different when you walk around the lights.
You got that picking fence.
Oh, dog.
Oh, man.
I'm crying.
Anyway, I'm just so happy you guys came, man.
I'm so happy with what you're saying.
You guys are the first official guests in our life.
That's how we should be.
As it should be.
You're our first official guest.
I'll tell you why I'm happy to be here.
And, you know, just to be real, I'm happy to be here because I remember, I'm sure you remember, and Alex, you remember.
I remember a different Andrew.
I'm going to tell the whole fucking flagrant to this.
Oh, boy.
Okay.
I remember Andrew that was a little angry, a little jaded, a little frustrated with a bunch of shit that was going on.
And I remember a bunch of people in terms of career, and I guess you were trying to try your hand at Hollywood and you were doing it that way or whatever.
But I remember every time I talked to you, I remember hearing you say just something that was just negative.
And I remember I went, me and Charlamagne had this conversation.
I went and I saw Andrew on the stage and I had never seen him before, bro.
I was at that show.
I was at that show.
That's where I met you.
Yeah, I saw Andrew, by the way.
Even remember after the show, I was like, yo, your whole crew is fucking hilarious.
You know what I'm saying?
What was it?
You guys, you and your black friends, y'all were going to that thing working in 7-Eleven.
What do you eat?
Rob?
Laughed the whole thing.
I was like, damn, that little, that motherfucker's funny.
And then I was about to say little guy.
I know who I'm standing next to.
Right.
But it's funny.
The reason I got to be up front in the podcast is because she's like, school pictures all over him.
But no, I went to see Andrew live.
Right.
And I saw Andrew and Andrew kill.
After that, I called you.
You did?
And I remember having that conversation.
I was like, yo, I'm not accepting this woe was me shit off you anymore.
Wow.
Like, I'm like, you, I, he showed a man.
I was like, yo, Andrew's not a little funny.
Yeah, he's, yeah.
He's like one of the funniest guys on the stage I had seen forever.
And after that, I saw somebody kick the industry in their own in their ass and really building themselves, believing his talent, believing himself.
And now you're doing your fucking thing, man.
So everybody winning.
So I appreciate the fact that you actually did something that a lot of people can't do, which is take self-inventory and then put your talent on the line and work your shit, dog.
Can I say one thing?
Can I say one thing in response?
Yeah.
Not only did you change Kanye's life.
Shut the fuck up.
That's like, it sounds like you owe him a lot of life.
You changed my life.
Thank you.
Oh, damn.
Everybody was telling him this, though.
What are we all telling you?
We were all like.
Can you do me a personal favor?
Shut the fuck up.
Can you give that same speech to a means of ham?
No, I appreciate you as a brother.
And thank you so much for doing that, man.
And I know that came from a completely altruistic place.
Like, you didn't have to do that.
You didn't have to come to the show.
And that meant a lot to me, man.
And I hope, and I hope, and I hope that I did the things that we spoke about.
You did.
You said everything you was going to do, and you went out and you got it.
But I mean that.
Thank you very much.
Word up.
Word up.
I appreciate it.
It kind of sounds like a confession of crime without actually saying it.
Like, I did the things that you told me to do.
Yo, what did David Stern say, man, when he walked into that all-star?
I know where the bodies are buried because I'm the one that put them there.
Fuck.
That is a gangster asshole.
Take a story.
Hold on, hold on, hold on.
Tell this story.
Set this whole story up.
This is alleged.
Will give you all the respect for Davis Stern.
For anybody listening right now, Davis Stern, obviously, the commissioner of the NBA.
Yeah, former, former commissioner of the NBA who had just passed away.
Former human beings.
Yes.
Formerly alive.
Yeah, formerly alive.
Now dust.
So don't fuck me up on this plot.
You're the one who's got a job.
I'm the one who's on the line.
Oh, man.
Oh, my God.
Why did I say that's inaccurate?
Hey, man.
I'm sweating.
What did I say?
You're going to call yourself into your own office?
We're trying to get the next.
That was funny.
Is Davis Stern going to be on the 2020 census?
Somebody tell me.
Jesus Christ.
Jesus Christ.
What's the story?
Come on.
We claim him on taxes.
Yo.
That's a good ass go.
He was alive January 1.
Listen.
Let me tell you something.
Oh, shit.
Pass away on January 1st.
I know what you're going to say.
That's what you're going to say.
Whatever Jewish motherfucker doing his taxes, claim that boy.
You don't think Davis turned held on until January 1st today.
Hey, pull the plug at 1201.
At 1201, he just tipped his yarmul this way and then leaned over all the way.
Oh, fuck.
Okay, okay.
Tell the story.
I mean, tell the story.
Lot that last Hanukkah candle.
Oh, my God.
David Stern, rest in peace.
Okay.
Honorable man, great man.
So they're going into an NBA lockout in the summertime, right?
Okay.
July 1, the lockout starts.
And the two sides have been far apart during the season because you try to get stuff done during the year, but a lot of times it doesn't work out.
That's why we get to a lockout.
This is the last lockout or 2000?
This is the last one that happened in 2011.
So he goes to the all-star game, and at the all-star game, typically the commissioner gives a state of the union address.
So he gets up there, and someone asked a question when the reporters, I heard this was in the locker room.
News.
He did this in a press conference.
Oh, shit.
That's even crazy.
No, but he was only speaking to the players, not the press.
Well, maybe he did.
Yeah, maybe it was.
Maybe it was in the locker room.
Yeah.
But basically.
Because nobody else was there that was pressed.
It was just the.
It was the case was he.
Someone said some shit and he said.
They said they were going to walk out.
Yeah.
The players?
Yeah.
The all-star game.
That's right.
The All Star Game.
They said they were going to walk out on the All-Star game.
Like to send a message.
And so David Stern looks around and says, He walks in the room.
He hears this.
He walks in the room.
And he says, basically, don't test me.
I know where all the bodies are buried.
I know because I put them there.
And that's like.
That was like, oh, shit.
I'm not fucking with y'all.
Oh, apparently he walked in the room and he goes, so I heard you guys are thinking of walking out.
And then he says the body's buried lying.
And you know what he's referencing.
He's referencing the Donahy thing.
Everything, man.
But there's other shit.
Like, everything.
He is.
Hopefully you go to share some more.
That would have taken off him.
Yeah, that would have.
I don't think he was referring to Donahy.
He wasn't referring to Donahue.
He didn't blow that up.
Not blow it up, but like, I think what he's trying to say is, and I think a lot of people don't realize this, is like, you don't get to where the NBA is in that short a period of time organically.
It takes a benevolent dictator who's willing to maybe.
He's not benevolent.
I mean, he's benevolent to the league.
Who?
David Stern?
No, man.
That dude ran that shit like a tyrant, man.
An effective tyrant.
I guess all the name came way to fuck up.
But I mean, it's effective in the space.
Benevolent to me is like Adam Silver is benevolent.
Let me rephrase benevolent.
His benevolence is to the NBA itself, not necessarily the players.
In other words, by bringing the league into the mainstream.
Yeah, but even the players' benefit.
You know what's crazy?
I thought we agree.
I thought he was a player first commissioner, though.
League first.
League first.
But what I mean by that is that I think the thing that differentiated the NBA, let me put it this way between all of the sports is that growing up, the NBA was the only league that took a couple of guys in their league bigger than the game.
So let me rephrase.
I would say this about David Stern.
I wouldn't even say league first or player first, but he was objective first and money first.
And if this is going to make us more money, then we're going to do this.
I don't see, for instance, I think the NFL is leaving money on the table by some of their behavior as far as the way they're antagonistic towards the players.
They think the public wants this.
I really think they're leaving money on the table.
The NBA and David Stern never left money on the table.
That was his whole thing.
So whether it was, hey, I'm going to take these two dudes, Magic and Purd, and make them center prime time, da-da-da, and make you root for stars, not teams, that you would say it's player first.
At the same time, saying, hey, you guys got to wear suits and da-da-da.
That's league first.
In the reality, it's all money first.
Everything he did was with an eye towards how can I grow this?
And that's why in 1989, they were the first professional sports league in America to say, we're getting on this plane and we're going to China because there's going to be a lot of money there.
He did that.
Even with this game.
The game.
His objective was grow the game.
Grow the pot, the game.
Sure.
When you grow the game, what happens to the pot?
You make more money.
They make more money.
And I think what happens along the line is you go, hey, it's maybe the best thing that Patrick Ewing goes to the Knicks and that there's an envelope that maybe is a little colder than the other envelopes.
Now, some people go, oh, that's folklore, this, that, the other.
And maybe it is.
But a lot of these things happen.
The Donahy thing.
Apparently, Donahy called three other referees every single night.
A game was fixed.
We don't know any of their names because a phone call was made and some bodies were buried.
So it's like, and he did those things because he knew or he wanted the game to go to a certain place and he wanted to expedite them.
He was Batman.
In that sense, he was Batman.
You know, like in the Dark Knight, he tells Commissioner Gordon, you got to tell them that Harvey died trying to save your son.
I'll be the bad guy.
Because people need to believe in something.
And so David Stern absolutely did that with Donahue and a bunch of other things.
He did stuff that if the public knew the truth, probably would get them a lot more upset.
So they need to just like suspended Michael Jordan secretly for a year and a half.
I don't think that happens.
I believe it.
Women, go on that.
What do you think that is?
What's that rumor?
Oh, so Michael Jordan's retirement, right?
Yes.
There is a, to me, a very credible rumor and a very believable rumor that that actually wasn't a retirement suspension.
That it was a suspension for gambling.
And that I don't want to say anything about, I don't want to, you know, regard breast of dead, but some people think that what happened to MJ's dad had to do with the league.
I heard that.
Right.
And so after that happened, then there's thoughts from some people that they were like, this is going too far.
You need to sit down for a little while.
The reason why I say no is because you never heard that one.
I heard the thing about the gambling debt.
I never heard that the league suspended him.
And our narrative saying, that's the rumor.
Stern was like, you need to sit down, return.
Sit down, suspend you.
Well, you couldn't suspect.
You can't suspend the biggest, the biggest sports star in the world, but he could retire for a little while and then come back.
But really, the league.
So my question is, and I, trust me, want to believe in the conspiracy because it's a lot of fun.
But my question is, Jordan knew how much leverage he had in the NBA at that time.
Couldn't Jordan just say, I'm not going nowhere.
You're going to have to suspect that.
Unless the league had definitive proof that he was a degenerate gambler.
Well, we knew he gambled, but is he gambling?
I know, but if it was a situation that was as serious as that, then the Michael Jordan, who remember at that time in his career, made the bulk of his money off endorsements.
That guy and that guy's business takes a serious.
He can't do it.
He was making 34 million a year.
No, he wasn't 90s.
At that time, he was making like 2 million off of his playing career.
And he was like 18.
What were you going to say?
I was going to say, the one thing is like, Michael Jordan made a shit ton of money for this league.
That's the one thing I don't believe.
I think they would have found any way to get around it without taking out the biggest cash cow in sports at the prime of his career.
Like, there's got to be another way to discipline or he seemed to take baseball really seriously.
That's the other thing.
He was into it.
You ever watched that 30 for 30?
Yeah, it's crazy because they were saying at the end, he was actually getting fucking good.
Like, he's that.
No doubt improving.
So, if you actually, I mean, if you look at Michael Jordan's stats and sort of like what they are now, they're set in stone.
But if you actually were following it, my dad was like, he was no doubt getting better.
It's the craziest story I've ever heard.
They said, I can't remember what I think it was Matt Doherty, but whoever Michael Jordan's college roommate was when he was a freshman said, like maybe the first or second weekend there, say, hey, you want to go out?
Let's go play pool.
It was the all-American kid that was voted, not him, at North Carolina.
What, Buzz Pearson?
It was Buzz Peterson.
Buzz Peterson.
There you go, Buzz Peterson.
So he says, let's go play pool.
And he said, I've never played pool before.
I was like, all right, it's okay.
I'll teach you.
So he teaches him.
Obviously, he's like, I whoop his ass.
He's never played pool before.
He said, this dude was so mad that he lost that for two weeks, did not say a single word to me.
Now, remember, these guys are both on the team.
So they're going to practice.
They're playing.
They're in the same classes because they're both freshmen.
They're eating mess hall at the same time.
Never spoke a word to him for two weeks.
At the end of two weeks, he said, Hey, man, you want to go play pool?
He's like, oh, okay.
I guess he's out of his funk.
Say, do you know we went and that motherfucker beat me?
Because for two weeks, he sat around and practiced pool, and that was it.
I love it.
That's how crazy.
That's how maniacal he is, right?
That's like, that's how you get a gambling problem.
Is even though all this shit is fixed, I can still beat it.
No, I'm not even joking.
Like, there you go.
It's crazy.
That's how competitive you are.
Say, give me the shit with the longest odds that I'm not ever supposed to win.
And I'm a fucking beat it.
I also think with him, gambling can be all-consuming.
You know, like when competition is all-consuming for him.
World Series Baseball Signs00:15:55
Absolutely.
And, you know, when you're on stage, for example, with like stand-up, like, you can't really think about your girl pissing you off or these types of things, right?
Like, we can't sit there in that moment because we have to be so focused, right?
And I feel like when you gamble, that's also the same way.
It's like you're so focused on what you're doing.
Like, if we're gambling, like, if we're playing, you guys were, you guys were out there playing like Tomorrow Car, right?
2K or whatever.
Like, when you.
Oh, not only beating them, taking their money.
When you lose, when you lose and some shit like that, when you, we used to play Madden, and it was night before a lot of money.
If you lose at Madden, you're already mad.
But if you lose, then you got to reach in your pocket and come out.
And Jordan is beating these guys in practice, and they're wagering thousands of dollars on this shit and on card games and all of that stuff.
It's the height of being competitive because there's something on the line other than just your taking money out of your pockets.
As far as gambling, not like the gambling with your buddies, but going to the casinos, the longest odd stuff.
The other thing I always thought about was, was basketball that easy for him?
Where he's like, I need something else.
I need something where there's a chance that I'm going to lose.
Oh.
Like, think about what, where are you at competitively in your sport where it's like, this is so much guarantee that I'm going to win this, that I need something else in my life to supplant that feeling of fear of, oh, I might lose this.
There's no challenges left.
And the thing is, the only thing against that is Barkley gambles like, hell, he never wants shit.
I think he just likes to gamble.
Yeah, I think Barkley gambles like he drinks.
Barbara just has fun distraction.
Like, how advice?
Yeah.
He likes to have fun.
I like that David Stern story is, though.
What?
Did you guys hear the Rome audio?
Dude, that shit.
Bro, like, Terry, I got it off your Twitter.
Have you stopped beating your wife?
Have you stopped beating your wife?
Think about, bro.
Think of the fucking balls.
Oh, yeah.
Like, you just, that went, Rome didn't even know what the fuck to do.
Jim Rome is never in that position.
He's always the other guy in there.
Well, I think part of it neutered him.
Part of it is, obviously, you don't expect him.
I'm like, pussy ass motherfucker.
I don't think that's what he is.
He just fucking cut his wife doesn't think it's fair.
Because you don't expect the commissioner of a league to drop dash.
You might, some jackass like us would come say that.
But the other thing is.
Also, real tough.
What can you say if you beat your wife?
Yes.
Well, no, there's no.
There's no right answer.
Exactly.
And that's something from law school.
My buddy who's a lawyer told me that's a thing they teach in law school.
It's like a loaded question like that, which is that's the example they give, but the type of questions you can throw out there that will basically either way shine the light in a certain way on the person you're asking a question.
So if I ask, have you stopped beating your wife?
There is no right answer.
Because yes is.
Yes means, yeah, I'm still beating my wife.
No means, or I used to beat my wife, but now I don't.
You're admitting.
Either way, you're admitting.
Oh, Jesus Christ.
Like, he was pulling an old quote unquote.
Are you going to wait?
What was it?
Yeah, yeah.
Have you stopped beating your wife?
Have you stopped being your badge?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And it was really after.
Did you say, have you stopped eating your badge?
No, no.
I was thinking about how I would like ask a loaded question to my girl.
You know what I mean?
Are you still sucking my dick tonight?
Nah, you're going to get a girl with straight answer for that one.
Yeah, because she could be no, and I could be like, all right, but you was gonna.
I knew you were gonna suck my little victories.
Oh, man.
Yo, can we talk about this Houston Astros thing, man?
Okay, we obviously don't give a fuck about baseball because we're all men here, but there is something that is quite interesting with this Houston Astros.
I cared about the story, no shit, for about 15 minutes.
Okay.
I was into it.
But that's a lot for baseball.
That's a lot for baseball, yo.
That's the longest I ever cared.
So they have a situation where they were apparently putting buzzers on there on the play.
Well, you got to start at the beginning.
Like, the beginning was, hey, the Astros are stealing signs.
Which, to be honest with you, has been going on every day.
What?
Every team.
Yeah, every team, you're not supposed to.
By the way, if you steal signs in the regular way, it's not even frowned upon.
It's a guy without a sign.
What is the regular way?
So what I would say the regular way of stealing signs would be like, is like if you're tipping your signs, right?
Like in baseball, you have different signs.
You sign a man for pitches or for when you're a runner.
But mostly, just anybody who's listening doesn't understand baseball, the catcher will tell the pitcher what pitch to throw and usually use his fingers between his legs to give off a sign.
Yes, right.
Or signs that are coming in from the third base coach or whatever.
Right, right.
If you realize that there's a tendency, right?
And if you realize that they do a certain sequence or whatever every time this pitch comes and you steal the sign that way, that's acceptable.
It's like the NFL.
When they line up in a certain way, the corners will be like, okay, there's only three plays they could do this lineup.
Right.
And that's you using gamesmanship.
Right.
That's allowed.
One question I have for us.
If you are on second base, so they already get somebody on base and you have the ability to look at the pitcher legally because you've earned the position.
That's all.
You're good.
That's more specifically what I'm talking about.
If you can somehow, if you had a guy who could see what the catchers are doing, hand on the ball, all that's good.
That's allowed.
That's good.
This is not that.
So level one, which is not illegal, it's perfectly legal, is people watch film.
They watch film and they see the things and they try to pick up on the tendencies, even though people change their signs up, right?
Level two is in-game now.
It's not like me from watching a bunch of film.
In game, I'm getting a signal from somebody, either the second base, the guy on second base, or someone in the dugout who sees something and they let me know.
Level three is what they were doing, which is this is fucking level amazing.
No, but no, no, because there's levels above the next level I'm about to say.
So the next level is...
Level three is the beginning of cheating.
Yeah, so they go into the video replay room, which I didn't even know they had access to.
That's the MLB video replay room.
It's right there in the, yeah.
So they go there and they watch the shit because it's got a close-up and everything.
And then they grab a trash can and would bang.
And depending on how many times they bang on the trash can, that the batter here.
Oh, this one's a fastball.
Oh, this is a change-up, whatever.
I think they would not bang if it was a fastball.
And if they saw that it was a change-up, whatever that's, they bang on a trash can, and now the pitcher knows, or now the batter knows.
Now the batter knows, right?
Swing, don't swing it.
Don't swing it.
This is a changeup.
I think a change-up gets crazy at the games off.
So then the next level, they're like, because they started feeling it might be a little suspicious.
Some dude.
Yeah, bang, bang.
Yeah.
So the buzzers.
The next level is they have a device that they would tape almost like a wire if you're an informant.
A wire that they had taped on the guy.
Yes.
And then it would buzz.
Instead of the banks.
Yeah.
And also Apple watches too.
Hobbies you can text.
Pulse, yeah.
Yes, Pulses, right?
Yes, yes.
And so the crazy thing is they got the video of Altuve hitting that walk-off home run.
And as he's coming, this is wild.
He says, don't rip my jersey off because I'm wearing the shit.
He says that's not what we were saying.
He said something about his wife.
Yeah, he says the worst lie ever and also the best lie ever because at the time when no one knows there's a scandal, say, why were you saying that?
Oh, it's because of my wife.
People are like, yeah, that makes sense.
You know, women make you do crazy things.
But here's the thing.
After running, after crossing home plate, he by himself runs into the dugout.
Does something goes into the locker room, does something.
I think he comes back out with a different shirt, comes out with like a World Series champion shirt.
Boom, exactly.
But think about that.
You just hit the walk-off home run in the World Series and you don't celebrate with your teammates?
Yeah.
That's peculiar.
Which again, if you don't watch baseball, when you hit a game, which is a game-winning home run.
As you come around to home, the team comes out to home base and they usually mob you and throw water.
It's your moment that you've been thinking about since Lily.
You know what?
I have a question about this.
They also had one more thing, like one stat somebody pulled up.
Home games and away games.
Oh, his numbers at home where they have existing video moves.
His in particular, the ones I heard about, were crazy.
Like 427 batting average.
In baseball, like a 300 is good.
It's a Hall of Fame.
427.
Why did just Altuve do so well?
Why would they not buzz as everybody did?
It was the team.
The team was doing it.
The team, I mean, Altuve's numbers obviously went through the roof.
I think he was a World Series AVP that year.
But the team, in general, on the roll, particularly at Dodger Stadium, didn't really hit as well.
But at home, they were killing.
So this is an interesting thing about baseball.
This is how difficult hitting a baseball is, is even when you know what pitch is coming, it only lifts your batting average, what is it?
A little bit.
30%.
30% is like 15%.
But here's the thing, though.
That's the difference between a World Series and the description.
You're failing seven out of 10 times you go up 100%.
And you're in the Hall of Fame.
You're failing seven out of 10 times.
100%.
So any sort of advantage is major.
It's major.
My question is this.
I haven't read the rules.
I haven't read the baseball CBA.
What I want to know is, does it say anywhere that you can't do this?
I think so.
What is it?
I don't know the rule, but I know it's against the rules because you can't suspend a dude for a year for something that's not technically illegal.
They can suspend you for a year.
They didn't suspend it for a year.
They suspended the GM.
They fired them.
Well, no.
They suspended the league suspended them.
The GM and the manager.
Once I heard the year suspension, I knew they were going to get fired.
They were going to get fired.
Suspended for a year?
Ouch.
Like, suspended for a whole season.
I'm like, they're going to let them go.
It's also like it shows that they're guilty, and it's like keeping them around makes everyone question the veracity of your world series.
Organization, so you say, Hey, we didn't want like the owner, that's his way of saying, I don't know, and my players, so get rid of the guys who are in charge.
But, like, this is what my buddy said: baseball is the cheatingiest ass sport in the world because it's the only sport that they've every single way.
I was telling you guys about this earlier.
They've got steroids, yep, they've got a team in 1919 or whatever through the through the World Series.
Literally, shout out to Arnold Ross.
Through it, right?
You've got Shulas Joe Jackson or something.
Yeah, he's the mafia guy.
Ross Needle is the Mafia Sylvester.
Ross Stein is a mafia guy who got to the Black Sox and then convinced them to throw the World Series.
Like, they bet on the World Series that the White Sox would lose.
And then the White Sox went out and fucking threw it.
And that's how the thing.
The thing about it.
How do you throw it?
Did they win a World Series already?
How would you get to get to the World Series and then you're like, oops, I saw him for you?
I understand how you played that.
What made that person do that?
Oh, they were staying with money.
They money.
The thing about the White Sox was, I think Kamiski was the owner of the White Sox at that time, which the park is named after.
And they were super fucking pissed with him that they couldn't get more money out of him.
They felt underpaid and undervalued.
And so not only were they throwing the World Series to get the money that Ross Need was giving them, but it was also as a big fuck you to the uppers in their organization.
Also, the park's name is after Mr. Cellular one.
Oh, Mr. Cellular one, right?
They changed it from Kamiski Park to but what I'm curious about is like there's no amount of money that you could pay me.
Oh, bullshit.
No.
Bullshit for that.
Tobama said.
No, no, not Tobamacet.
I do that for free all the time.
I'm talking about there's no amount of money if I dedicate my entire life to winning a World Series or winning an MM championship.
No amount of money you could pay me to throw it.
How many MLB teams were there at the time?
There might have been like 18.
There weren't a lot.
Oh, so they're like, we could get him no problem.
I assume that's the same thing.
By the way, this team at that time, because this was for the 20s and the Yankees and stuff, this was the greatest baseball team of all time.
Yeah.
With what a lot of people think at that time, Joe Jackson was Joe Johnson.
She was Joe Jackson.
Joe Jackson.
Joe Jackson, excuse me.
Was the, who they, a lot of people felt like was the greatest player.
Yeah.
So, I mean, like, yeah, part of it is they probably thought they thought they could get another one.
Okay, so that's it.
So we're back into, okay, that's fair.
That I understand more.
But if it's like the NFL, like, for example, you might have one chance, and every team fluctuates every year.
Let me tell you right now.
Let me tell you right now, it's all relative.
Because if you tell me right now, I go to Jimmy Garoppolo and say, here it is, billion dollars.
Throw it.
He's throwing the Super Bowl.
A billion dollars?
I wouldn't do it.
He ain't even throwing in the Super Bowl.
Six passes.
He's going to look at you like, what do you want me to do?
Fumble the pass a handoff?
What can I have to do?
How can I do this?
There's almost no way Jimmy Garoppolo could fucking fucking.
Maybe if he fumbles.
No, yeah, he could.
Call Audible.
Audible.
Just audible ones and passes.
If he audible three times, he's getting yelled at.
If you are a main player, if you're a main player, you can absolutely throw a game.
Sure.
And so, but you have that.
You have Pete Rose betting on his own team.
You've got steroids, obviously.
But you should be allowed to do.
You should be allowed to bet that you're going to win.
Except for the fact that we don't know if he was just betting that they would win.
Well, that's where it gets iffy.
But if you're a pet parent betting, you're going to win.
Yeah, if they had transparency with betting, can't you just be like, I'm betting a million dollars we win.
I love that you're invested.
This is the other one that I forgot.
There was a scandal between the Astros and the Cardinals like three years ago because the Cardinals hacked their fucking scouting database and stole their scouting reports.
Again, all I could think of is like, holy shit, the nerds in baseball are doing all this high-tech ways to win.
And our nerds in basketball are like, PR in the fourth corner of game.
But it's rough.
Hard in baseball.
It's white people cheating, man.
They're the best at cheating.
You can't fucking get it.
It's America.
It's the American people in NBA.
It's an American game.
They did cheat for us.
We're the best at it.
Yo, you know what I'm saying?
Got him.
You know what I mean?
Right.
You're nice, Eddie.
For real, dude.
We were cheating.
Cheating since the fucking beginning.
Oh, man.
There's a lot of Indian people that do the analytics in the NBA.
Hey, we too honorable, man.
If it ain't a fucking A on the line, it ain't more than you.
How come y'all don't give a fuck about baseball?
It just sucks.
The sport sucks.
It's terrible.
Boring.
It's a boring space.
It's not existed before sports.
It's a really boring activity.
The most interesting story in baseball this entire year was this shit that just happened right now.
And it's barely interesting.
It is interesting.
Every once in a while there's a fight or something like that.
That's interesting.
This is interesting.
You think when Randy Moss threw that pitch in a handy pigeon?
Or Randy Johnson?
Yeah, yeah.
They all look alike.
All those fucking Randy's.
Come on.
A little interracial.
Tall people.
Okay, what was that?
Tall people.
Tall people.
That's what it was.
Yeah, it's just a boring fucking sport.
And just like a lot of TV shows back in the day that don't hold up, it's like, yeah, that was all there was there to look at.
You know, like, I'm sure looking at the fucking stars and finding Orion.
That's what it is.
Watching a baseball game is like watching a fucking Charlie Chaplin movie.
It is.
Charlie Chaplin's really funny when you had nothing else.
Yeah.
Right?
But now that there's sound.
It was a slower fucking society.
So everything took like a long time.
Yeah, they didn't even have cars, yo.
Right, right.
And so, like, even like, when you look at cars back in like 1908 or whatever the fuck, they riding horses into the game.
You know what I mean?
There was no cars?
They had cars, dog.
When did we get cars?
When is the first baseball game planned?
I bet it's in the 1800s.
That was 1800.
Yeah, we had no cars.
No, there's some more.
You brought a fucking horse and buggy.
You don't think the show is exciting?
I think when you got into the game, dude, they had nothing to do.
Think about how long it was.
Electricity, like 60 years old.
You know what I mean?
What?
The first baseball game was in 1846?
Bro.
When was electricity invented?
That was like the civil.
When did black people get free?
Fuck electricity?
1846?
Yo, what is this?
20 years after that, bro.
How much?
Holy shit.
Yeah, 40 years.
If you thought baseball was boring now, imagine from 1856.
1940 to 1865.
Joey Pants Movie Story00:09:24
Can you be imagine being a time traveler from like the 50s, going back in time, talking about like, why are black people even playing baseball?
Like, black people are like, that's like the last fucking question you would ask.
If you time travel back to 1846, you're going to ask why niggas not playing baseball.
We got bigger problems.
You don't know that yet.
No, you don't know that yet.
Can't we get some shoes?
That's how he would start the uprising in 1846.
No way.
We got problems.
We got kids.
Whoa.
Hold on, my nigga.
If we travel back in time, if we travel back in time, you might start the uprising.
But if, like, if you go back and you see that, I'm not going to be thinking about baseball.
Yeah, but what if you don't know where you are?
Right.
Okay, because there's no way you could predict the exact year.
All the past kind of stuff.
Quantum leap?
Quantum leap.
I love that show.
Yo, son.
What's the quantum leap?
Sam, yo.
Yo, Sam.
So, yo, yo, I did a movie with that dude.
With Sam, Joe Pontello.
Pontiliano.
Sam.
No, Sam.
Joe Pantiliano.
First of all, amazing actor.
Joe Capantiliano is not.
I think that Quantum Leap.
Yeah, he's the guy who's not.
Joey Pants is being in the middle of the day.
That's like, no, that's not him.
Yes, it is.
No, it's not.
On everything.
Put him on the bottom of the box.
I cannot tell you how much more foolish I look when I said, Fam, you are amazing at quantum.
I was like, son, that's not.
Son, that's Joey Pants, dog.
That's the gods, bro.
That's Joey Pants was in Quantum League.
No, he wasn't.
He's not in that shit.
Go to Quantum League.
You might have been in one episode.
He's the dude that it did.
No, it's not.
Greg Stockwell.
Go to Gene Stockwell.
That's TMZ.
That's your favorite.
They don't look nothing like Joey.
That motherfucker looks absolutely 0% like you white face.
Because he was 100 years old at the time.
Son, can I tell y'all?
Joey Pants got popping into the Matrix.
These niggas were born in 1936.
It was not even the same.
When I tell you.
Wait a second.
What is this description here?
What is this?
His beautiful sherubic face with his face.
He's not going to be on IMDb.
Like, since he's public, he's a man.
A crown of curls.
They wrote that in like the 50s.
Come on.
Excuse me.
Come on.
Come on.
No, no, no, no.
Yo, go look up.
It means IMDB.
See how they describe his ass.
It's not a crown of curls.
Okay, so I literally told Joey Pants how much a big fan.
Yo, son, you know what I realized?
What did he say?
No, this is fucked up.
I never congratulated him in it.
I came up to him on set and I was like, yo, I go, yo, I got to tell you something, man.
I'm like, I'm like a huge fan of Quantum Leap, bro.
Like, I would watch that show back in the day.
It was one of my favorite shows.
Like, and I'm so messed up because I forgot how the show ended.
Like, I don't remember how it ended, but it was one of the best shows ever.
And I remember now him being like, hey, man, yeah, it was a pretty good show.
You know, that was a good.
That was good, that show.
I think I agree with you.
He fought with it.
It was good.
It was unpredictable.
You never know.
I never know what he's going to be.
Yeah.
You were just sharing with him.
And I was like, what are you on this thing?
Say what?
Was this on that Johnny Carson show?
No, this was on.
I did a movie with him.
I did this movie called Feast of the Seven Fishes.
Okay.
And he was a really cool guy, nice guy.
Totally me tooing the shit out of this young girl that went on.
It's up.
That's an old school Hollywood actor.
Hey, babe.
Yeah, old school.
Like, Joey.
Joey forced his way into that room.
Joey, take off in pants if you want to keep this job.
Okay, over here.
I'm done.
I'm done.
Anyway, Donald Lee was the shit, though.
Shit, man.
I didn't know he wasn't in that.
Nah, he wasn't in there.
Are we still on why baseball's corrupt?
No, I'm trying to think about him going home and say, hey, how was how it was worked?
That was cool.
I met this young comedian, Andrew Schultz.
He's really funny.
Loves Quantum Leap for some reason.
I had a couple times.
We didn't shut the fuck up about it.
Bro, I had a couple of times.
These old motherfuckers don't remember me at all.
There was the old guy that was in.
He was in Breaking Bad in the Wheelchair.
Do you remember him?
I never watched Breaking Bad.
You were watching?
You're talking about the kid?
No, the old man that was in the wheelchair that couldn't show up.
Oh, Hector Salamanca.
Hector Salamanca.
Oh, I love him.
And he played my grandfather on a show, Benders, which I was the lead of the show.
And I saw him.
He was in Scarface, too.
Oh, son, he's a legendary.
Wasn't he in Scarface?
Yeah, he was the same guy.
I can't believe it.
There was one Hispanic on Scarface.
Wasn't he the hitman at Scarface?
Am I thinking about the same guy?
And he's the Ding Ding Ding guy.
The Ding Ding guy, the same guy.
He was the hitman at Scarface, the one that was going to blow up the place and Tony killed him.
And then Sosa.
Him.
And then Sosa came in.
Oh, yeah.
Remember, Tony told him, no wife, no kids.
Yeah.
It was a silent killer.
We did a whole fucking show.
Okay.
He was on my show.
Okay.
I walked up to him on the street and I was like, hey, man, I remember Bembert Benders.
We did the show together.
And he literally said this to me.
He just goes, he has a, yeah.
And then walked away.
Right.
That's what I like about old people, man.
They don't give a fuck.
They don't give a fuck.
They did it.
They didn't hear about me.
That's for sure.
Let me tell you some shit.
I went to the David Stern Memorial yesterday.
Oh, yeah.
How was that?
It was cool.
His son was hilarious.
But like, you have all these people come up, Adam Silver, Magic Johnson, Val Ackerman, the first commissioner of WNBA, and Rick Welts, and all these people are really touching, some funny stories, whatever.
And then Pat Riley comes up and we're like, oh shit, here we go.
Like Pat Riley, if you don't know, is legendary for his speeches.
He gets six figures for speaking engagements.
I'm like, I'm finally about to witness the magic of Pat Riley.
And he gets up there and he spoke for 40 goddamn minutes.
And no lie, about 34 of those 40 minutes were about himself.
Not stories of him with David Stern, just Pat Riley growing up stories.
And I almost quit basketball in the eighth grade.
But then I hit a game-winning shot and Mother Superior at St. Joseph's had everyone give me a standing applause.
And that's what made me keep playing basketball.
It was nothing to do with David Stern.
And towards the end, my favorite part is he says, you know, I didn't know David Stern that well.
Are you here?
You know what?
That's what I like about black funerals, though.
See, if you're doing that at a black funeral, somebody AT going to be going, I Tyler, get the fuck out now.
It's Pat Really.
I get it, but somebody's going to be like, nah, we done.
But the thing I was thinking about, I was like, man, someone said, well, you know, he's 75 years old.
I'm like, Pat Riley is?
Pat Riley's 75 years old.
Even Michael Douglas is the same person to me.
You got to give him the Pat Register.
Yo, Michael Douglas.
I bumped it to Michael Douglas at a movie premiere, and this dude is about your height.
They're all tiny, bro.
It's crazy.
It's shocking how small he is.
They're all tiny.
He's a short little dude, man.
Listen.
Pat Riley bombed his own, bombed the RIP speech.
As someone else said, it was like he was doing his own eulogy.
That's what it felt like.
He just kept talking about himself.
He had two David Stern stories.
You're going to report this story on ESPN.
No, man.
I gave it to the flagrant mob or the flag army.
Is this what you do?
Like stories that you really, like, you want to go on ESPN?
Yeah, we would love that.
We would love that.
First of all, give us a runoff.
All the runoffs, you just bring it here.
So first of all, I ain't going to fuck it.
I like going to Miami and they treat me really good down there.
So I'm not going to fuck that up at all.
You already did it.
You fucked, dog.
No, no.
It's on Patreon.
It's over now.
Now we're putting this whole thing out.
We put that first.
You saying, what were you saying?
Fuck Pat Riley.
Fuck Pat Riley.
Let me tell you that.
Catching Amin El Hassan.
It's got to be fuck Pat Riley.
And also, I punched Kanye in the nuts.
No, face.
Face?
You went right after him.
You went right after him.
He went out of low.
Oh, shit out of him.
You know what's crazy?
I'm trying to think of the way I would write that TMZ headline.
Which one?
About him fucking over Pat Riley like that.
Yeah, why you dogged out Pat Riley?
How you dogged out Pat Riley?
Why would you write it?
Well, I'm thinking how I would write it.
Why would you?
First thing why, though.
First thing is, is I would put, this is how that headline would look.
This is how you take that piece of video you write the team.
It's a quote first, right?
It's not, well, headline's not a quote.
The first thing you got to do is put Pat Riley.
Right.
Because you want people to click on it.
Yes.
So you wouldn't say, quote, fuck Pat Riley, unquote.
If you said that.
But I wouldn't say it if you didn't say it.
So this is what I would do.
I would put Pat Riley bombed in David Stern's memorial.
It's small letters.
Dot, dot, dot.
Says it mean it lasts.
So it's big out there and lay it on you at the end.
Like it's all real and we can't get in trouble.
Sound effects.
Guys, new things popping up in the studio all the time.
Since y'all changed the name.
Now, let's move away from since he changed the name.
Change the name.
Okay, let's move away from Andrew Schultz's flagrant too.
Thank you.
Thank you, man.
It costs a lot of money.
All right, let's take a break for a second, pay some bills.
What?
Everybody watching home, I'm in a different shirt.
Yes.
Because I recorded this the other day.
But listen, you know that this company is near and dear to my heart.
Well, actually, it doesn't make it all the way up to my heart because that's just how I'm built.
Frederick Douglass Equality00:11:21
But maybe some of you guys on this, it would go all the way up to your heart.
We're talking about Blue Chew.
Okay.
If you're new to this podcast, Blue Chew has been holding us down.
Okay, not only taking care of us, but taking care of our girlfriends, taking care of random girls, taking care of wives.
Okay, this is a great birthday gift that you get your shorty.
It's the hardest dick you'll ever have in your life.
Bluechew.com.
Okay, you're going to get it for free.
All you got to do is go to bluechew.com, use the offer code flagrant.
All right, just like the entire asshole army has done by now.
I don't care where I am.
There's an asshole army member coming up to me after a show, keeping that asshole tight, but opening the asshole maybe of his girlfriend.
That's a possibility.
Always consensual.
Now, all you got to do is you go to the website.
You pay $5 shipping, but everything else is free.
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Your girlfriend, whoever it is.
Okay, you've got a girl that you need to impress.
You want to lay it down the first time?
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You bust too early and you need to run it back.
You know, I don't run it back without the chew.
If you need to run it back, chew it up, chew it down.
All right.
That's what it is.
Bluechew.com.
All right.
Make sure you use the offer code Flagrant.
That's how we're doing it.
I love you.
Let's get back to this show.
Van.
Yes.
You were from the great state of Louisiana.
Yes, Baton Rouge.
You grew up in the hometown of the Tigers.
LSU, baby.
Oh, shit.
You maybe went to LSU.
Yes.
You happen to be a huge fan of the Tigers?
I am.
You watched the game?
I did.
You feel good about this?
Feel good about what?
About the Tigers victim.
Fucking right.
Of course I do.
Why?
I feel like there's an anvil about to drop on my head every day.
I don't know.
I don't know.
Because he's talking like an immigrant.
You like Tiger?
No, it was a big, fucking huge deal.
Obviously, in Baton Rouge, man, really in South Louisiana, Louisiana, period, that's the biggest fucking shit we got.
Bro, it's his.
It's cousin living in Freeport.
I'm there all the time.
It's like a professional team to them.
That's all they got.
Oh, it's Saints.
Saints and the Tigers.
It is, I guess, a professional team.
It is 100,000 people in the stadium going crazy.
So much of the fucking economy of the state, so much of the pride and the sense of self has to do.
I'm going to be honest with you, not to overstate the importance of sports, but there's a chance that integration happens slower in the South if not for college football.
Because Alabama goes and plays SC, right?
They get worked by SC, Charles Rogers, and them.
When they come back, Bear Bryant is now like, I got to get some black guys.
He was on the boss.
You know what I mean?
And so, and so college football, because as much as we talk about like the differences of people in the South, the culture is largely homogeneous.
Dude, like we eat the same thing.
We worship the same God.
Like, especially in South Louisiana, everything's really the same.
The one indicator that separates us is race.
And so, like, everybody's fucking.
Same guy.
Black and white people.
I mean, black and white people.
But like that is some shit black and white people do.
Is we think nobody else is here.
I mean, no, in Baton Rouge, it's really, yo, is that Indian dude still the senator or the governor of Louisiana?
Bobby Jindal?
Bobby Jindal.
I don't know.
Shout out to my man, though.
You know, I was thinking about Bobby Jindal.
All these Indians hate him because they say he's whitewashed.
He converted to Christianity and then he named his kid Bobby.
But it's like a bunch of woke warriors with white, significant others.
And it's like, you're just going to marry a kid and they're going to be half white and you're probably going to name them some shit like Bobby.
So why are you so mad at this guy?
I just don't see what the big deal is.
Spicy.
How do we feel about the woke warrior?
Oh, this is a good conversation with you guys here.
You know, because you both have married black.
I'm not married.
No.
Black.
Yeah, I kept it in the culture.
You kept it in the culture.
But also, isn't she Swedish or something?
She's Sudanese.
But like from Sweden?
She grew up in Sweden.
Grew up in Sweden.
Okay, so close.
So what you're going to say is how do you feel about that?
So what we were going to say, how do we feel about the woke warrior with the white wife?
Woke warrior, white, wife.
WWW.
Wesse Williams before he broke up with his wife.
When Jesse Williams.
Jesse's wife was black.
She was black.
And then he broke up with her on her with a white.
And then he went to, when they went white.
After he got woke, that's what gets you is getting woke.
That's why I'm not woke.
I'm sleep.
Because once you go woke, you go white.
Jesse was with a black lady for a very long time.
It didn't work out.
And now he's with a different black lady.
Oh, word.
I thought he was with Ninka Kelly.
That might have happened at least.
That might have happened in between.
I'm not knocking him, bro.
I would have taken down that shit.
I'm going to be honest with you.
There are a lot of people, and there are a lot of people that think that it matters.
And then there's a correlation.
You heard that?
You went back to Falkland.
I'm not a sick man that met that boy.
I say, oh, there's some white women around here.
I'll say, I'll tell you.
This is my reality.
This is my thing.
I don't think that it really matters that much.
I do think that, rightly so, it takes down your credibility with the sisters.
And it should.
It should take down your credibility.
Alex Hels.
Alex knows.
And you're going to be less effective as a woke warrior or whatever if you don't have black women with you because they're the biggest power base and the most loyal power base.
And also the most motivated.
The most motivated.
And a lot of times.
Niggas don't do shit.
You need women to be like, let's do this.
And then guys are like, oh, yeah.
Well, you need them to always hold it down because they're the ones really that have the energy.
Let's be real.
You want to go march and pussy there?
Exactly.
In 2020, like you need women to be the surviving force.
Even if an unfair ones.
It's all history.
Just women nagging.
That's the only reason men get shit done.
What up?
Shut this bitch up right quick.
God damn it.
Unfair if you call them names.
For a lot of sisters.
And it's not shit.
Look at the camera one time.
You're sad and yo.
Oh, son.
Mama.
Woo!
Woo!
We getting flagrant today, boys.
My man got thirsty off of that line.
So TR.
We could.
Okay, go on.
Go on.
No, I'm just saying, like, for them, they're going to look at that and see that as a symbol that you ascended.
And once you ascended, you saw a new part of the world.
And that part of the world no longer included black ladies.
I can't speak for all sisters.
I never would.
But a lot of them see things that are different.
I think that's different than getting famous and getting a white person.
I think it looks, if you're going to be woke, don't you need to be about it?
Don't you need to be the foremost motherfucker?
If you're going to speak on it and try to change people, shouldn't you be the motherfucker that's the most about what you're talking about?
But what are you speaking on, though?
Black pride, my pride in my race.
For me, it's important to have a brown wife because it's like I.
Oh, it definitely is important because you have to build communities and part of the families.
At the same time.
And I don't think it just takes away your credibility with women.
I think any dude who's kind of skeptical is like, this motherfucker talking all this shit and the most important person in his life.
I get it.
I get it.
To me, I understand that.
I understand the skepticism when somebody marries interracially.
At the same time, though, you do not want to penalize somebody for falling in love.
You want to try to, what you want to try to do.
It's the gayest shit I ever heard, yo.
I mean, it's just real.
That shit is facts.
I mean, it's just facts.
Facts.
It's just real.
You don't want to penalize somebody for falling in love.
But the reality is that the reality is that when you see somebody and they've married outside of their race or whatever, you side eye them.
It looks weird.
To me, not in general.
You're talking about specifically for people who are cultural leaders of us.
Yes.
A black population.
A cultural leader of the world.
Not your random.
Yes, really, to be honest with you.
Be happy.
Do whatever you want to do.
But there's a natural inclination to be like, oh, it's kind of interesting.
But I don't like, I really wish that people were able to live their lives and do whatever they want to do.
So do I.
But I also think it takes time to fall in love, right?
We act like falling in love is this instant thing, especially for a dude.
It's not.
So you are investing time in this person.
You're investing emotion.
You're investing love.
You've taken all that time, emotion, and love that you could be investing in that group of people that you are supporting and investing in another person.
I mean, also, I just can't tell.
I can't tell Harry Belafonte that it, like, at the end of his life, fucking, I just, I don't know anything about that guy.
Is there another guy?
I don't know.
I can't tell Rick James.
Like, Harry Belafonte, like, he was on the front lines of the civil rights movement.
You're saying he doesn't know enough about his personality.
But I don't know enough about Harry Blanc.
How about this?
At the end of his life, Frederick Douglass married a white woman.
Damn.
So you coach?
Let's go, Fred.
So you can't, like, to me, but we can't tell.
Let me just say.
Like, you can't besmirch the name of Frederick Douglass.
Hold on.
Frederick Douglass marrying a white woman is a much more much greater flex than anybody did a white woman right now.
Back then?
Yeah.
To me, that tells me you really have to like white women.
How much does she weigh?
I don't know.
Because you think she's a little bit more.
Did he get a fat, a fat white woman?
Did he start that?
That's probably a big deal.
Fat was probably desired back in the day.
It made you have less food.
Yeah, shit.
Back when people were starving, then he's a fucking trendsetter.
Yo, this guy was the original.
That's the original.
Frederick Douglass in this motherfucker.
All I'm saying is that you can't really look at him and say that anything that he did was invalid.
It was invalid.
It was invalid.
Right, because it was before the white woman.
Like you said.
Then once you're a white woman, nobody's going, yo, late in life, Freddie D was really dropping some bars.
You know what I'm saying?
Like, nobody made his late involvement.
But what people would say was that everything that he was saying, maybe he didn't really mean it.
Maybe it invalidates everything that he had done secretly.
For a while, secretly he had self-hate or anything like that.
He was taking down white bitches during that whole time.
Please believe that.
He might have been.
Oh, yeah.
He must have been the most popular one.
I don't know.
Imagine that.
Yo.
I fucked Frederick Douglass.
Frederick Douglass, man.
That's some old grandma said.
Guy sat down there with Lincoln, bro.
You think he walked in that white house?
He didn't walk out with something?
I also think the equality Frederick Douglass is fighting for is a little different than the equality I fight for.
Frederick Douglass is like, hey, man, can we please just stop working for free?
Can we stay here?
Can we go home?
Yeah, literally.
The question was, do we stay or go home?
Like, that was a meeting with Lincoln.
Look, I mean, look, obviously things were worse, but fighting for your peace of America is fighting for your peace of America.
I mean, and you got to be vigilant about it no matter what time period you're doing.
Smirching Bacon Debate00:15:31
Oh, man.
It's just, it's a wild.
It's a wild, it's a wild concept because, like, I feel like what you said, I feel like people should be free to love who they want to love, but also there is a marketing element to whenever you're trying to do a social push, and that's bad marketing, man.
Just know that they're going to look at you in a crazy way.
Yeah.
You better be one charismatic son of a job.
Just know that.
Listen, you're a mom.
You see eating a bacon, egg, and cheese sandwich.
It's turkey bacon.
Nah.
I'm just going to assume.
It's bacon, bacon.
You're with him, and he orders bacon, egg, and cheese sandwich.
And then you go, oh, turkey bacon.
And he goes, no, no, no, no.
Bacon, bacon.
What do I do?
What is the move?
Do you have a little less respect for what he's talking about?
Yeah, I mean, yeah.
Like to me, if you're a religious leader, like my standards that I don't even hold to, I apply to you because you're supposed to be the best of us between you and God.
But a lot of this stuff.
What's the closest thing to God on this earth?
So I'll give you a good example.
Like, you know what I'm saying?
So, how you going to besmirch or whatever that word you use?
I pretend to know what it meant.
How you going to besmirch the besmirch?
Besmirch.
Besmirch?
Yeah.
Besmirch.
Son.
We just sell merch, bro.
I didn't know that there's some abyss out there.
What the fuck is that?
That's the next smirch.
Yeah, but you're not smirch, though.
If you bismerch somebody, don't somebody got to be smirched before that?
Yo, who is smirch?
Bismirch.
What's biss smirch?
What's a smirch?
Hey, bro.
What's the etymology of this word, bro?
Smirch?
I don't know, man.
We'll be smirching folks.
I'm about to smirch that.
I'm blown a fucking way by the last 30 seconds.
The breakdown, the smirch, like that, like that.
We delved into a level of damage the reputation of someone.
Besmirch.
There's no smirch.
So if you smirch, do you uplift the reputation of that person?
No, no, no.
But is not a opposite.
What does it mean?
Beside myself means be smirch.
So alongside myself.
Yo, smirch.
Discredit.
To discredit.
Don't smirch it.
You a bishmirch is just you being smirching for no reason.
Smirch is never fucking used.
I've never heard of using smirch.
That's what I'm saying.
Y'all out here marrying different, you know?
Don't put that on your Instagram shit.
You know what I mean?
Like, stop being extra.
Yeah.
It's smirch.
Stop smirching, bro.
I'm right here.
Hey, listen.
From now on, I think that we should all agree that we, I think we should all marry black women.
I like that.
I think we should all date black women.
I think that's a good idea.
Okay.
And I'm going to be.
Uplift the sisters.
Andrew, I'm lifting.
In 2020, what are you going to do for the sisters?
I'm going to smirch me a black woman.
You're going to smirch them.
No, you're not going to smirch me.
I'm not going to smirch one.
Smirching would be bad.
That's alongside.
I'm going to be smirched with a black woman.
Smirching would be bad.
That's to make dirty.
What?
That's what smirch means?
I thought it says alongside.
No.
No.
Be smirch.
Black smirch.
No.
No.
What are you going to do for the sisters in 2020?
B. Smirch sounds like a young rapper.
Be smirch, bro.
Goddamn you be smirking.
That mixtape is fire.
You ain't seen that.
Y'all, 20 seconds after he's dropped, some niggas going to name his name Be Smirch.
Yo, B Smirch.
B. His commitment to a bit is fucking B-E-E.
Hey, it's not a bit.
Hey, bro.
You could be out here with your turkey bacon.
I'm royal to black women.
That's why he's hosting Essence Fest every year.
I'm hosting Essence Fest for the third time in a row.
I would love to see it.
You'd miss the last two, obviously.
Where you been?
Where you been at?
What fest you've been at?
I've been at the best.
You've been a girl's trip van down to Essence Festival.
You've been at the Cosmopolitan Fest?
What white woman magazine festivals have you been attending?
El Claire?
Marie Claire, the Volk Fest?
I'm out here at Essence, okay?
Smirching.
Smirching.
Smirching at Essence every fucking year.
Fucking tons of different shit.
You know what I mean?
Listen, I'm there.
I'm in it.
Were you there?
No.
You taking trips to Sweden.
Sweden.
You know what I mean?
You going to Sweden.
You're going vacation.
Sweden.
Smirching white bitches.
Smirching at, smirching white bitches.
Smirching.
That's what out there with black women.
What do you do?
Smirching white bitches.
Smirch white girls.
Smirch somebody.
Smirching.
Smirching.
Giving him that Freddy D. Freddy Fred.
Real talk, guys.
Seriously, man.
We have a responsibility.
Hey, the sisters deserve strong brothers.
Yes, they do.
What is that?
What is that on your chain right there?
What is that?
Domino.
Domino movie.
Right?
What number?
It's on the chains?
12.
It's 12.
Yeah, 12.
What does that stand for?
Cops.
That's right.
Okay.
Okay.
Not only cops, 12.
12 tribes of Jewish, not into black women.
What did I tell you, Brunch?
I tell you, brother.
That's a side of the chain.
Star David?
That's started.
A star David and another star.
Oh, my God.
This is a sheriff's van.
What?
It's a sheriff's band.
That's a sheriff's band.
Man, I feel like I feel besmirched.
I feel besmirched.
Smirched as fuck.
Now, the red MNOS.
Is Voice short for vanilla?
What the fuck is happening on the side?
He's actually from Bob Pacific.
He said it's short for policemen.
Todd Van.
What is happening?
Van.
Smirch as fuck.
I feel surveillance vans.
I feel besmirched, bro.
I feel you, bro.
I feel besmirched.
It's regular smirch, but I'm with it, though.
You feel me?
You're not all the way B smirched.
It's regular smirk.
I'm not ready to add that extra smirk.
You just smirched?
But I'm smirching.
Not after hearing all these.
I'm not as pro-black as you, but like, I do feel a little besmirched.
It's different because I'm a black man.
Yeah, obviously.
Right.
You're not.
No.
You're a brown man.
Correct.
My name is Andrew.
Right.
Do you know what that stems from?
What does that stem from?
How many letters are in Andrew?
I don't know.
Six.
Six letters.
Right.
Okay.
How many days did God work?
Six.
Seven.
Six took the last day off.
Oh, that's true.
Even God rested.
Child of God.
First people.
Or.
No, no, no.
The black man is God.
What I say the first people are?
The chosen people.
What I say the first people are.
The black man.
That's what I'm saying.
That's right, right.
So by that rationale, anybody with six letters in their name is black.
Depends which letters.
Some letters count for two.
Some letters count for two.
How many letters you have in your name?
I got six.
No, you don't because multiple letters are repeated.
Oh, word.
You write about it.
So how many letters you really got?
Five.
Five.
Four.
How many arms does Vishnu have?
Oh, shit.
That's what I'm saying.
Stay woke.
Third eye.
Okay.
You know what the funny thing is, Kyrie?
The funny thing is, the funny thing is how easy it is to be one of these motherfuckers.
That's what I'm about to say.
He's bullshitting, but you meet niggas in the barber shop.
Believe that sell you shit like that all the time.
And God bless him, man.
God bless him.
That shit you can say.
God bless him.
Where is Kyrie right now?
Yo, can you explain?
Kyrie probably would be getting off on some shit like this.
Can you explain?
Kyrie's the only nigga in the world right now that's believing what Andrew's saying.
Kyrie's with me.
He's going to go to press with it tomorrow.
Okay.
Condescending way.
I have two questions.
Basketball questions.
One.
Kyrie Madwell probably ain't fucking nobody.
Yo, when did Lonzo Ball join the flag army, by the way?
Who the fuck is this?
Yo, yo, can I have, can y'all let my goatee rock, son?
Can y'all let my goatee rock for a second, bro?
Your goatee look like I mean's hair, son.
Son, I'm doing my best.
I don't have facial hair, bro.
I'm trying.
You know, I'm really trying.
Are we dressed as Confederate soldiers?
Looks like the Union because you're wearing blue.
Ah, that's right.
Facts.
Thank you for knowing our history.
And it's a good thing you learned it to get that citizenship.
Don't think that just comes free.
You don't have it?
You didn't get the citizenship?
ESPN out here hiring illegals?
I didn't say I'm illegal.
I just said I'm not a citizen.
You got that green card?
Are you an alien of extraordinary capability or whatever?
That's what I am.
That's exactly what I am.
That's what my mom is.
How are you up on that?
It's common knowledge.
I don't know.
Is that common knowledge?
Son, that's how he's going to get more of his white women into the country.
Stop that.
Yeah, let's talk about that.
What is that?
What the alien of a truly ability some foreign white women is that the key to a strong hairline?
Bro, they don't have you stressing.
I'll tell you that.
Son, I put Alex in a bit.
I didn't name him, but I was trying to complain about relationship shit with him.
He was with a white girl at the time, and I was like, Yo, don't you hate when your girl comes yelling at you for no fucking reason?
Blah, blah, blah.
They're in a bad mood all day, taking out on you, fighting all the time.
He was like, No, hold on, wait for this.
He goes, My girl doesn't believe in conflict.
What?
I said, What the fuck is that?
You with a white chick, Alex?
I used to be always.
Yeah, okay.
Not always.
Can I just ask a question that's completely unrelated to Alex's current situation completely and entirely unrelated?
People from the country of Spain.
What color are they?
They're white.
They're white.
Al, what color would you consider them?
They're Spanish.
Oh, Alex.
This guy is.
Alex.
Let's not get infected with dumb nigga disease.
Thank you.
Like Alex, those are Caucasians.
If you want to fuck them, fuck them, but they're Caucasian.
They're Caucasian.
Alex, those people are white.
Those people are white.
I'm telling you.
Those people.
You think because they speak a different.
What the fuck?
Like, why?
Like, like, disappointing.
Like, no, no, no, he's broke.
He's hard.
He's broken like that, bro.
Like, because I used to be back in the day, how dare he waste that hairline on some white women, bro.
That's how he can't.
Bro, yeah, you're right.
Those are white people.
My bad.
That's the trick.
That's the trick.
Son.
Jordan.
No, he got a great.
Oh, fuck.
That's an observation.
Yo.
What?
He, yo, Amin just had a great observation.
The way he worded it was a little crazy.
He's like, he's like, black women will steal your hairline.
And I didn't think you had to put steel in there.
You know what I mean?
But he's.
You say black women will steal your hairline.
They say, what'd you say?
Jordan, LeBron, Amin.
Son, who are the black guys that got their hair still?
That have their hair still.
You know who has a great hairline?
Al, Spanish women.
Kyrie.
Never seen a black girl.
Whole boat full of white chicks.
Whole boat full of white chicks.
Carl Anthony Towns.
Carl Anthony Towns.
Strong hairline.
I don't know.
He looks like he loves white women.
OJ.
Yo.
Joelle and B. Joelle and B. Might be something to it.
I don't.
I don't think sisters.
But look, all the players we're talking about, though.
What are they saying?
Well, what are you saying?
Man, look.
You're gonna let them hate on the sisters like this?
What's up?
You gonna let them hate on the sisters?
But he's married to a sister.
No, you love one.
I'm okay.
Oh, okay, Amin, damn flagrant.
But in all seriousness, all the great things that come with a black woman, woman, the love, the support, the food, the food, the strength, right?
The titties, right?
What?
I mean, all the beautiful things that come with them.
Right.
Right?
The color of the bottom of their feet, how it's a little different than the top.
And you lose lotion in it.
A nice contrast.
That contrast.
Can I say something that might be orange creamsicle?
Can I say something?
Something a little bit more.
I noticed that.
This was a mistake.
I gotta be honest with you.
Like a hosted.
I gotta be honest with you.
This was a mistake.
No, like, all the things.
But here's the thing.
I'll give you $100 right now if you smash all these shit.
This was a mistake.
Because, like, come on.
Finish this shit.
What I'm saying is, sisters, we love you.
With everything, the amazing things that the sisters bring, just like everything in life, for greatness, there's a cost, right?
For as great as Jordan was, he had to gamble.
He had to do those things so he could balance the ecosystem.
Maybe the balance of the ecosystem for the black woman is your hairline.
There has to be a source for all that energy that they bring.
That's their tesseract.
Is your hairline?
It's your hairline.
So, what you're saying, so what you're saying is that they essentially was Samson black.
Samson, of course, he was black.
Everyone in the Bible is black.
And then what happened?
And then he lost his hair.
To what?
To whom?
A woman.
And the guy in the Bible that wasn't black and married a Jewish woman was who?
You lost me there.
Jesus.
Jesus.
Shut up, man.
Gray hair.
Jesus was black.
He was black.
Jesus was celibate.
Jesus didn't handle it.
He was having no babies and he kept his hair.
Even if he was black.
Mary Magdalene Trotty's like, nah, he's like, bitch, get out of here.
I got this hair.
I ain't losing no hair on you, bitch.
You can do me like Samson did.
This is.
Jesus was black.
I'll shut up that much out.
That's the only part you're going to come.
That's the only part I'm going to say.
Boom.
Jesus was black, but he decided not to be with any black women, right?
He was mostly men.
Atlanta is.
He was so true to it, though, instead of getting with a white girl.
I think Jesus was from Atlanta when you really think about it.
So, what black guy you know cooked that much, hang out with nine fucking dudes all the goddamn time?
I wish you hadn't fucking reiterated.
I wish you had just let it sit there.
Whatever, bro.
It is what it is.
Oh, my God.
Sometimes shit needs to be repeated twice on Sunday.
All I'm saying is, listen, God bless.
Listen, it is, I think it's a small cost to pay for a black woman.
That's just me.
Are y'all hiring, by the way?
What?
I'm not going to have a job after this.
Bro, we don't hire black people.
You got Alex.
That's the one.
Puerto Rican.
From Puerto Rican.
And Cass.
Of course we hired Black Colors.
They're cheaper.
No, sorry.
You only got to pay him like 60%.
Never again.
So while you're here, you might as well run it up.
Never again.
Love the fuck out of y'all.
Never again.
You should have gone to Idiots, bro.
You should have gone to Idiots.
I'm trying to put it in.
To be honest with you, I can't fucking keep up.
I'm trying to defend the sisters.
Now I'm trying to defend Jesus.
Which one do you do?
It's like it's a lot.
I'll tell you which one.
Tell me.
The sisters.
That's what I said, bro.
Jesus could handle himself.
You're not going to see Jesus in the street.
You see Jesus in the street all the time?
You see Jesus in your yard.
Don't you have a yard?
Jesus is everywhere.
Hey, you know where you see Jesus?
He's going to be in my yard.
He's cutting the grass of that shit.
Keeping Coffee Hair Full00:08:57
Man is boxed in, son.
Man is boxed in.
Son of Phoenix and Adisona.
And Adisona.
Oh, my God.
Do you know what I mean?
I mean, don't tap out now, nigga.
You was with him two years ago.
That was the breaking point, my friend, motherfucker.
Because his name is probably Jesus.
That's why.
Right.
That's why you sound convicted over there, my nigga.
What's going on?
Yo, you know what?
You want to be driving him to drink.
Yo, that McCallum, that 21-year-old McCall, that's some good.
Is it really?
It is good.
Son, you want some of that?
That's straight from Russia.
That's half the budget right there.
Son, how much I told you this place cost?
Wait, this isn't like you poured it out and poured something else in there.
This is.
Nah, that's just straight up.
This is from a strip club in Russia.
For real?
Yeah.
Shout out to my boy Sasha.
For real?
Yeah, Van, would you like some?
No, I'm good, my man.
Okay.
Akash, you're not.
Do we defile you again?
No, thank you.
Yeah, I saw that.
No, he didn't think it was weed.
It was CBD.
And then there was THC in it.
Yeah, that's.
But like more than you would think.
I thought it was like 30 to 1 or whatever.
This shit is good.
I'm just saying I'm embarrassed to even have this, man.
Why?
Because that's really fancy stuff, and I feel like I'm just fucking around having a lot of money.
That's worth yo.
He was going to put that in coffee.
I almost put it in coffee.
Do you know what type of coffee was Nespresso?
This shit is regular coffee.
How about intensity, though?
What was that intensity?
That Tensi was six.
Oh, shit.
That's that good.
That's virtuoso.
Yo, bro.
Yo.
Like.
What?
I'm missing it.
He's in DoorDance thing.
We're both laughing at fucking Nespresso pods.
Oh, my God.
Low-key?
George Clooney needs to pay some money.
This guy appropriates some cultures when he wants to make some money off beverages, right?
Yeah.
Casamigos.
Casamigos.
Nespresso.
Like, George Clooney's.
Are we okay with that, guys?
I don't give a fuck.
What?
Also, he appropriated his wife.
Oh, yes.
Oh, yo, he sure did from y'all and us.
He got both of us with that one, don't you?
Wait a minute.
What is she?
Is she Middle Eastern Muslim?
She's Lebanese.
Ah.
Lebanese Muslim or Lebanese Christian.
I think she's Muslim.
I'm not sure.
I don't keep that.
That's close enough to me.
I'll be outrageous.
All right.
We're going to stop paying some bills for a second.
I just want to let you know something.
Look at my hair.
You see that full head of hair?
You see how I've kept my hair?
You can do that with Keeps.
Okay.
I've been using the active ingredients in Keeps way before I even knew Keeps was a company.
Okay.
I'm about this.
I'm invested in this.
Nobody paid me to do this.
I was paying to do this before this company existed.
I'm telling you, it's real.
I'm telling you, it's helped me.
I noticed my hair thinning.
A lot of you have heard this story, but I noticed my hair thinning.
I was like, we're not going to do that.
I got on the active ingredient that's in Keeps and my hair came back.
Now, if you're completely bald, okay, nothing we could do for you.
All right.
But if you notice it thinning, right, we can help you bounce back.
Okay.
If you feel like it's about to go, we could maintain where you are right now.
It's about catching it early.
I'm telling you, it works.
If you don't believe it works, then you're not opening your eyes and looking at me right now.
It's as simple as that.
Keeps.
Okay.
You go to keeps.com/slash flagrant, and you can get deals to keep your hair for as low as $10 a month.
Matter of fact, you go right now.
I think you're going to get that first month free.
Do I think?
No, I know.
That's a pretty good deal to keep your hair.
Free?
To keep your hair?
Hmm?
Hmm?
Keep your money in your hair.
This company likes you to keep stuff.
Anyway, go to keeps, K-E-E-P-S.com slash flagrant.
Go keep your hair, man.
I'm telling you, there's one sign that a man is aging well, and that sign is being rich.
But the other one is keeping your hair.
Okay?
So both those things help you out.
And not everybody listening to this is rich, let's be honest.
But you can have a full head of hair.
Okay?
You got a full head of hair, hard dick.
What you got to complain about?
Full head of hair, hard dick?
Take over the world with a full head of hair and a hard dick.
Jeff Bezos can't have a full head of hair and a hard dick.
You can.
You don't think he would want to?
If he had the opportunity?
Looking back, huh?
We might not have Amazon Prime, you know, but that man was still looking his prime.
That's what's important.
So go out there.
Keep your hair.
All right?
Keeps.com slash flagrant.
Go get it.
Let us know how it works for you.
Peace.
Let's get back to the show.
Son, I'm doing more days of Ramadan this year.
Are you?
Yeah.
I usually do that.
We do one time to have this conversation.
Like, when I first started your face, I'm doing.
Hi, mom.
What?
No, it's just like this.
Mom ain't no patron.
How do you know?
Because I know immigrant moms are stingy.
What are you talking about?
No, we gotta.
We're releasing this one.
This one gotta be out there.
This one gotta be out there in the world, bro.
The McAllen kick?
Yeah, would you like?
No, I'm good, my man.
Are you sure?
Yeah, yeah.
Okay.
I always get like really what?
Do you not drink or what's up?
I'm about to drink right now.
Why not?
Why not?
Because I got places to be.
What do you got to do?
Because that's McCallan 21.
This is just that's some real good shit, man.
Do you know how many?
I don't fuck with Scotch like that.
No, but this one is not Scotts, but this is a thousand-dollar bottle of Scotch.
Yeah.
This right here that I'm holding probably is $100.
Are you drinking?
He doesn't drink.
He's never done it in his life.
I want you to just try a sip of it.
Nah.
Are you doing the dry January shit?
I'm not doing a dry thing.
I just, at this point, I'm going to drink it.
Huh?
Where are you going?
Someplace I need to be clear-headed.
But this isn't for your clear head.
This is not going to be a good thing.
This is honestly.
If, in my personal experience, just try it.
You take one sip.
You know how I'm not going to try it now?
Why?
Why not?
Because it's too much of a fucking thing.
It's not a thing.
To me, I'll be honest with you, Van.
In my life, this is the closest thing I've had to a black woman.
You've never had a black woman been with a black girl?
No, liquid-wise.
Oh, so liquid-wise.
If you could liquefy a black woman, it would be McCallan 12.
Yeah, exactly.
21.
I used to like only date.
So the 12, the 21 is like the age of the age of the thing.
So, like, the one you usually see at the bar is at eight.
Do you want to just have a sip and just try it out?
I'm not going to drink it.
Really?
Oh, God.
Wow.
In some cultures, that's really disrespectful.
The host offers you a drink.
But is it in this culture?
I mean, I don't know.
Hom de lair then.
I'm going to hell.
There you go.
There you go, John.
Okay, now, Van's ferociously looking at his phone, so I think that means he might have to.
Do you have to go somewhere?
No, I'm just making sure that we're going to have enough time because I don't know how to get around out here.
We'll get you there.
Where do you need to be?
Actually, don't say, but Manhattan or Brooklyn?
Jersey.
Jersey.
You're going to need a little extra time to get over there.
What time do you have to be there?
It'll be fine.
It'll be fine.
Okay.
Because the ride is on his way then and I'll jump in and do it.
Perfect.
You let us know.
Yeah.
Back to what we said.
Because I want to talk about the things that, well, I don't know how many things you can talk about that you have going on right now.
It seems like there's like things in motion, but you're not announcing just yet.
Yeah, I won't announce it like we're all good.
We're knowing where we're going.
Okay, so maybe we stay away from that.
But things are good in the Van Lathan world.
People are curious.
People ask me.
Sure.
Okay.
Things are good in the Van Lathan world.
It seems like you're maybe for the first time in your professional career deciding to do what you truly want to do.
Just want to be able to carve out what the world looks like for you personally.
Not really for, you know.
You were saying this to me earlier.
Yeah, plug and play.
You had your teams at your plug and play, whatever, but now you have more freedom to go.
Can I ask y'all something?
Like, because I really appreciate the entrepreneurial spirit you guys struck out on your own and everything.
Was there ever a time where you were like, I don't know what I want to do?
Like, I know I want to do something on my own.
I don't know what that is.
No.
You've always had a clear idea of what you wanted to do since I've been in comedy.
I think as we found the things we love, Schultz took a much bigger chance on this, obviously.
This is his.
He paid paid for this.
I don't know if he's told you.
Very expensive.
Yeah, I don't know if he's mentioned it.
Very expensive.
It costs a lot of money.
But I know when I was going broke.
Even that chair, that's West Elm.
It's not cheap.
I know.
It's not cheap.
But you're going to say chairs.
Hey, my living room said it's from West Elm.
That's right.
Because you make real money.
That's Disney.
For now.
That's the mouse.
The mouse.
Hold on, but I want to hear this play.
What do you mean?
Like, knowing what it is you want to do.
I think more for me, I know who I want to be.
Bars.
And knowing who I want to be guides me into the things that are right for me and wrong for me.
Red Pill Porn Discussion00:13:25
That's boring.
And you feel the same way?
Yeah, I just know.
Yeah, kind of what I have an idea what I want to do.
I don't know the exact thing, but I know when we started this, I was like, this is the thing.
So everything else, even as I'm going broke, I know this thing will eventually pay off.
This is what it is.
Comedy, I'm struggling, whatever, but I know this is the thing.
This is what it is.
This is what's best for me.
And you're being humble with struggling.
And just to clarify, like, I think what happens, or at least what happened to me, is almost like the lily pad shit.
Like, you have one thing you want to do, and then as you approach that thing, present themselves that you want to do.
Yeah, also, people, people see your, once people get a sense of your skill set, they have other things for you that you might not have thought of before.
This is what I was thinking about.
Do you truly want them?
Sometimes you do, sometimes you don't.
Like, I remember watching some red pill, right?
And then seeing certain episodes of the red pill where I was like, oh, shit, Van is doing what he really wants to do.
And then seeing other episodes of the red pill where I was like, oh, he's a proficient interviewer, but that's not.
He's not having the most joy he's ever had.
Is that a fair assessment?
No, not of the red pill.
I think every single episode of the red pill I ever did, I found some way to engage.
Now, if you're talking.
I'm not saying you weren't engaged.
But listen, what I mean is this.
If you're looking at it, talking about what's in my naturally in my wheelhouse, you can make that assessment because you know me.
But just because something's not in my wheelhouse or it's not something that I talk about all the time doesn't mean that I can't be interested in it.
And I think part of the red pill was...
Well, dude, it'd be episodes where you were talking about like, it'd be one, it could be about like something super racial.
And then it could be talking about like porn when you were talking to.
And both of them were great because I felt like you were so engaged and you were curious.
And focus and like locked in.
But yeah, but that's because race and porn are the two things that I've devoted my life to.
You were all oh man.
I'm so glad we brought it up.
So hold on for a second.
So because of that, when you see me, I'm going to really get excited about that entire deal.
But that doesn't mean that the other things I'm not excited to discuss him at all.
Sounds like you should take the blue pill, quite frankly.
Let me tell you some shit.
I listened to your, it wasn't your podcast, it was Jamel's podcast when she interviewed you.
And when you started talking about porn, I was like, man, me and Van have a lot in common, man.
Oh, what do you guys go for?
Just the, no, just like the consumption pattern.
Like, I was like, oh, shit, I thought I was the only one.
I was like, you're not the only one, my brother.
Hell, man.
Wait, wait, wait, wait, what's the consumption pattern?
He'd have to tell you.
I don't know what he did.
Like, he was basically saying there was a point in time when you gained a lot of weight.
Oh, it was porn all day long.
It was literally.
Oh, Jesus Christ, bro.
Porn and Madden is what you said.
Porn and Madden.
Porn and Madden.
It was porn and Madden.
I remember, I remember actually.
Either way, you're playing with a joystick.
Exactly.
I remember like, you know, like, you know, challenging myself.
Like, your dick will get sore.
And you should be like, buddy, I want you to know we're going again.
It's not the time.
It's the fourth quarter, buddy.
We're going again.
Because like, you know what I'm saying?
Yeah, don't get tired.
Don't get tired.
Run it again.
And sometimes, sometimes, like, it's almost like you're negotiating with your dick.
Because you weren't even thinking about jacking off.
But while you're sitting down, all of a sudden, song song video pops up.
Well, nigga, wake up.
You know what I'm saying?
Like, we on.
So, but at that point, it was unhealthy.
Now you use your porn.
It's a little different.
But at that point.
Wait, how many times would you guys do tops in a day?
What was that?
Did I bust a nut off?
Bro, I don't know, dog.
It's a lot.
Like four?
Oh, four.
North.
More than four.
Poor child.
Four?
North.
Four?
Six?
I'm like at four in three hours.
I can tell you.
Hold on.
Double digits?
It got close.
Like, I probably, like, it was, bro, that's impressive.
I'm going to be real with you.
Was literally like, it was literally like you wake up, you cut the madden on, you boot the computer up, right?
And then it's updates to sites and the shit that's pumping in.
Like, I'm not, the thing with my point is, I'm not the guy who just goes on porn.
I have memberships.
I want it directly.
I never want that.
I want the highest 4K quality shit that I could get.
I wanted to, you know what?
But I don't want my streaming speed to control my nut.
I want to be able to go right to the spike because you know what I'm saying.
You know what I'm saying?
So let me throw something back at you.
I don't like.
I don't know what you're saying.
More than 10?
I don't know.
I honestly don't know.
I know four is ridiculously low.
Four and four is blown way better.
Probably eight.
At least eight.
At least eight.
Maybe a 12.
Maybe a 12.
Do you know at the end, you're not shooting anything?
You came.
It just doesn't.
It just does this little thing.
I remember the first.
I remember the crystal clear.
I remember.
Yo, I remember crystal clear.
Crystal clear in my mind going, oh, shit, nothing came out.
There's no way.
Maybe a little bit, though.
You know how much sperm you make a day?
I get it.
I'm telling you.
Crazy.
You are.
You got to push.
You got to push.
Testing it.
Past every limit that you know.
Testing it.
I'm going to tell you.
Let me tell you this.
I reached the point where I detested anything with professional lighting, anything with like.
Yeah, because it needs to be real.
I needed like that camcorder with the flash on.
I went through a phases like that.
But like, I also went through different.
I also went through different cases.
That's too much.
Anything where they're talking to them?
No, no.
I went through different phases.
Start with them fucking like midpuck.
Because he just grabbed his phone like this.
But like, I like, I like, sometimes, it all depends, though, because sometimes you want.
Because the porn performers, the professional ones, they're not actually, the sex isn't really real, not in any actual way.
But it's like the NBA of sex.
It's like they are pros at it.
Yes.
So a lot of this shit that they're doing is really just performance.
For us.
It's not for them.
And they'll tell you when you know them, like some of the porn stars that you'll talk to, they'll talk about the differing companies.
So certain companies are better to shoot for from a sex standpoint than other companies are.
And they'll tell you why and they'll tell you how.
And so some of the stuff is just for you.
And it looks good.
It doesn't necessarily mean that it feels good to them.
And sometimes the amateurs don't have those skills.
It's like you need angles and you need different shit.
So it just depends on what you're in the mood for.
You know, it's crazy because it reminds me of like music, right?
Some people like the studio album, whatever.
You a mixtape guy.
You're gox tape guy.
You're a slam DVD.
Like the Smack DVD.
They stand in on the corner and they're just going.
You want that Times Square.
I want that like raw note.
Now, don't get me wrong.
Don't get me wrong.
Take it back to the block.
Don't get me wrong.
It is different watching two people have sex when you know they really fucking yeah man.
I don't like the overactors.
But also different performers have different sort of methodologies.
You know what I'm saying?
Wesley Pipes likes to talk.
And you don't like a talker.
No, I like Wesley Pipes something.
Wait, wait, wait, Wesley Pipes, Wesley Pipes would talk.
He would talk into the scene.
You're not talking about dudes?
He would talk me out of the scene.
Wesley Pipes is a guy.
Wesley Pipes would be fucking a chick and be like, yeah, bitch.
Yeah, bitch.
This dick.
And then he would do something and he would make the girl rethink it.
Yeah.
Because he'd be like, he'd fuck her in the ass and then take it out and put his dick in her mouth and be like, yeah, bitch, you like to wear an ass juice taste.
She'd be like, yeah.
Wait, no.
You know what I'm saying?
So like he would talk a little bit too much through the scene.
No, I like, it's always funny to me.
I like this shit.
Yeah, yeah.
So when you're jerking, jerking off you like that.
There are some times where I have literally.
Oh, he's funny, man.
He's funny, dog.
He's a funny dude, man.
He's funny.
He's funny, man.
He's funny.
He's funny.
He's that much porn.
That's an all-time porn grade.
And also, I watched him.
I watched an interview of him one time complaining about never getting invited to the AVNs.
He's mad about not getting the AVNs.
He's right, though, man.
I mean, that's disrespectful.
Why wouldn't you?
ABN So White, yo.
We need a hashtag.
I did that hashtag a couple years ago.
Avian So White.
Really?
Yeah, the AVNs.
It was about this live.
It was really as just.
It really combined two passions again.
It was really just as a joke, but the AVN people did not think that it was funny.
Really?
It was just as a joke.
Like, because some of the people, like, look at Nat Turner.
You're in this world.
You're in that world.
Wait, how the fuck did Nat Turner come into this conversation?
That's his porn name.
That's the guy's porn name.
Natural.
Oh, it's called Nat Turn Her.
Nat Turn Her.
AVN So White, Porno So White.
AVN So White.
Oh, this is hilarious.
Keep going.
So what happened was I would talk to the black porn performers and it's not a game to them.
Like their livelihood is really dependent on exposure and awards and all of those things.
And they actually complained to me in a real way.
Van, they would send me shit, Van.
Like nobody.
And I'm like, and you look at the lists that come out, the nomination list, they don't really shed a light on the black performance.
It's a lot of black stuff out there.
So more than anything, that's just like a gag.
I started with that.
I don't think I started it, but like I started hashtagging AVN So White.
And I got a lot of black porn performers.
Like, yo, I pray.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Like we need, like, we want representation.
You?
Black porn performers?
Everybody owes it a van.
No, anyway, but the point is, they really felt that way in a real way.
But that's, but that's wild.
Kingman.
It is wild.
Kingma.
It is wild, though, like, the idea that there is that their industry.
I mean, I guess it's not that wild.
Every other industry is like this.
That's what Wesley said.
He said it's kind of crazy that they actually have politics.
But don't the numbers speak for themselves?
Like, it wouldn't, like, here's one thing.
Like, it's not like Giannis or Hardy.
Please tell me you guys know porn ratings.
That'd be the best if y'all knew the numbers.
I mean, it depends on what you mean.
That's hysterical.
Spins or like.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Any views?
Well, when you go to the porn sites and you click on all the scenes, they tell you which scenes are the top rated, which stars are the top rated, who's the biggest.
Like Pornhub has a ranking.
Ranking.
You can see who's been the most popular and all.
I love this.
But yeah, look, bro, to be honest with you, it's like anything else.
I watched a lot of porn.
I was searching for new porn.
I found new stars.
I got into different stuff like that.
And after a while, you were into it.
But how do you get into their world, though?
I mean, or is that just a factor?
What do you mean?
Like, to the point where you know.
He looked like he really trying to figure this shit out.
Yeah, man.
Like, hey, man, if Tiana Trump is going to come tell me, like, yo.
She was on the podcast.
We want Tiana Trump.
But that's what I'm saying.
How did you get into that circle?
It's one thing to talk about it.
Well, that was Britney Renner that shout out to Brittany.
Brittany brought Tiana Trump.
But to be honest with you, I saw Nat playing basketball at the gym.
Oh, wow.
And in LA, they're everywhere.
What was that thing looking like in shorts?
You didn't notice?
You ain't noticed that.
That thing looking like in shorts.
Was he packing that bang?
Yeah, that y'all or not.
He was out there.
You were LA.
Man, you meet more porn stars.
99% of the world's volume is produced in a San Panda vapor.
But was that Thang?
What was that Thang swang?
What were his shorts producing?
That's what we want to know.
Was it hanging out the end?
Did you ask him if that's all him?
I didn't, man.
That's my man though.
Shout out to Nat.
Shout out to Nat.
That was a good episode of The Red Pill, though.
That was what?
That was a good episode of The Red Pill.
Dude, I'm telling you, check out the red pill.
And what is the status with Red Pill?
We're probably done with it.
So it might come back in a different type of iteration.
I will come back with a different ass, but most likely the red pill.
Different name, different format.
Just because of the proximity earlier with TMZ, you just want to go.
Well, let me put this out here now.
If you ever do, and I'll do it publicly, so you hold me to it, not like you would need to, but if you ever want to bring back the red pill or anything of that type of podcast, which I enjoyed, and you want to do it here at the studio, we have Studio B. I'd be more than happy to have you do it there.
What up?
I'm fucking with that.
The red pill, I mean, I'll be back.
I feel like Ven probably enjoys like 60-degree winter days more, but thank you for that.
You never know where I'll be, right?
Maybe he's mobile.
This trip, you never know where I'll be.
You know, it's funny, this started with like a career question from me, and then he just went and he got so much more in the podcast.
Oh, you said there was something.
But you don't often see people start a conversation that's really serious and then be like, fuck that.
Let's talk about porn.
No, because we've had this conversation, off air, with you.
And like, because I've asked, I think we've had that same kind of conversation.
What is it you like?
I believe it's like from the first time we actually like chopped it up.
Yep.
We had that conversation.
And however many years later I'm sitting here and I'm like, I still don't know what that is.
And to me, I like seeing you guys figure it out.
But part of it scares me.
Jamel Career Scale Shift00:15:26
It's like, what if I'm just, what if I'm just built to just work for somebody for the rest of my life?
Well, we all work for somebody.
But I'm just saying, you know, you guys control your own destiny.
Obviously, you're all getting checks from something.
And in some way, you control your own destiny in the sense that, like you guys said, this is something I want to do.
So I'm going to do it as opposed to.
I will say, you're different.
You're a different situation with kids and a wife.
I was on, talking about it, I went broke, whatever.
Year before that, I was on like six TV shows, all MTV.
I don't think I liked a single one of them.
You do it.
It's the check.
It's great money.
Life is good.
I can still do stand-up, whatever.
But then when you started doing this, even losing the money, I know, like, I enjoy this.
This will pay off in the long run.
And it's worth it in the end.
The first thing to me is that you were on a bunch of TV shows.
And I remember when I would say, oh, I'm going to go, I'm doing, oh, I'm seeing my buddy Andrew.
And people didn't know who you were.
And now you're not on TV at all.
All your stuff is self-made, self-produced, pretty much.
And all I hear are people like, oh my God, that guy, you know him.
How do you know him?
And it's just funny to me because the conventional wisdom would say, get with the network, get with the studio, get doing this.
And you're the opposite.
And it's part of it is people are enjoying your work.
And part of it is people are enjoying your story.
And that's a wild part for me.
I mean, you two, all you guys, like it's funny to me because I see and I've known you guys before your story became something that people were gravitating towards.
And that to me is like the, oh man, like same thing with Jamel.
I remember the first time after Jamel had her whole thing on Twitter.
She was still at ESPN.
I saw her at the Black Panther premiere.
And it's her and Mike.
And I'm like, hey, what's up?
And like, I'm just like, bolson, because I see my friends.
And then Jamel says, yo, I'm sorry.
I just got to say what's up to this person.
I'm like, oh, yeah, go ahead.
And I turn around and standing behind me is Donald Glover, literally waiting to talk to her.
And behind him was literally a line of black people.
Because it's the Black Panther premiere.
All of Black Hollywood was out there.
You think Donald Glover was like, excuse me, Jamel, there's a white woman behind you.
I would love to give her a talk.
How's his hairline look?
Shit.
Shit.
So, but, you know, to me, Donald Glover, great hairline.
Excellent hairline.
Wow.
That's a lot of white bodies.
So, but anyway, so it struck me like at that moment, I was like, oh shit, like people are, but I'm like, she's the same person she's always been.
Yes.
So what is it that people are gravitating to that they weren't gravitating to?
Yeah, I mean, Andrew just talked about this, actually.
Like after the Kanye thing, people looked at me in a different way.
Exactly.
Because they, they were, they, they got to know you.
They didn't know you.
They didn't.
We knew you.
You guys knew you.
You knew Jamel.
Right.
Right.
But you know, the greater people do.
You know what the real thing about it is?
The actual thing about it is, and it's something very simple.
It's why people care, why people are investing into you.
If you can go, if you can stand on a stage and make people laugh, they automatically care.
And it's just, and if you can do that for long enough and figure out how to what if he was doing that.
But to me, to me, to be, he was doing it, but he wasn't putting that foot forward as the real thing that he brings.
He was.
He was doing that and doing a lot of things.
Right.
Once that became, yo, I'm one of the funniest people in the world.
Right.
Let me go out with this and build everything specifically around that.
I feel like things changed.
He could probably tell you, man, I'm not talking about Andrew's life.
What I'm saying is that what I'm saying is that that right there is a skill.
You can stand on TNZ and you can talk all day long and people might be like, that's a smart brother.
But when once you incite some emotion in them, get some emotion out of them, now they care.
They're invested in you because you make a bond with it.
Comedians can do that automatically.
I think there's one thing, if I will say it, not to cut you, but I think there's one thing, which is, and I think it happened with Jamel and I think it happened with Van.
I think it happened with me in just different ways.
And I think that like, I think once you stand for something that people feel and they resonate with, and you stand for it publicly in the face of losing a lot, take a risk.
Once you're in the world, something that a lot of people wish that they could do a little bit.
Right.
And something maybe that they wish that they could articulate or they do articulate to their friends, but they can't get to the masses just because they aren't able to touch it.
And I think that you obviously did that when you spoke to Kanye.
And I think the type of comedy that I do and that Akash does and like the whole impetus of Flagrant 2 was this idea, like, we're not going to bow down to the cancel culture.
We're going to say the most fucked up time, sorry, the most fucked up things in the guise of humor, of course, in the time where you can say the least.
And I put that under quotes because there's been other times in this.
Right.
Of course, we're not going, whoa, here is me, blah, blah, blah.
We love nothing, Bruce.
But that's what I was going to say to Anna.
But just to clarify, so it's like, and I think what happened is a lot of people, a lot of people that listen, I think they were like, yo, thank you.
At least some comic is saying the jokes or is going to do a joke about trannies because we do jokes about everybody.
Why should they be exempt?
Not in terms of we don't like this group of people, but we like flagrant shit.
We like fucked up jokes.
So I think once they saw that, they're like, I want this guy to succeed against the odds.
And I think they saw that with you.
I think they saw that with Jamel as well.
And all of a sudden, once you see people, it becomes a David versus Goliath type thing because here we are, this little podcast.
And all of a sudden, our Patreon fucking exploded.
We become one of the top 10 patrons in the fucking world or something like that.
And it's because people are like, yo, you guys are doing what is right.
We're going to do anything that we possibly can to support you in your endeavors.
And I think that's, that's what happens.
Yeah, I was basically going to say, Schultz is one of the funniest comics, maybe the funniest comic working right now, straight up.
I'll say that.
But beyond just being funny, there needs to be something else for that thing to happen.
And I think for a lot of it, it's people feel like this guy's speaking for me.
You, a lot of motherfuckers hear Kanye and we're like, will somebody tell I got to shut the fuck up?
And then somebody did.
Somebody said, I don't think you are what you think you are.
You raised your hand and you did the boldest shit that nobody else would do.
Jamel stood up to ESPN and did the boldest shit nobody would do.
Nobody that wants a job in sports tells ESPN to shove it.
That's crazy.
When you think, look at you.
And I got issues with Jamel on a lot of things, but what she did is fucking.
When you think about that, that sister, to tell ESPN to go fuck themselves, that's the end.
That wasn't the first thing she did was to Trump.
But she stood in the truth, right?
Yeah.
And so, and so there's the thing is, and that's the scary thing is, it's easy to do a lot of stuff when you know you can go into something better.
Right.
She's at the top of that sort of deal.
And so now she had to figure out for herself.
She's doing a great job.
People respect her.
But it's, it's, yeah, and that's extra because it's, oh, there's, they believe what I believe so strongly, they'll walk away from the bag.
Now extra.
And that's, Andrew has a lot of that too, which is.
Yeah, that makes sense.
You know what?
Not only is he saying this shit, I've been searching for somebody to say, all this PC shit sucks.
I don't want half to laugh at somebody just because they're fucking trans and they're on stage.
But you know what the funny part is?
And he walked away from the bag.
It's not even that.
That's not the bag that he walked away from.
It's not, because there are other comics who do the non-PC stuff and, you know, to varying success.
What made you legitimately walked away from the bag?
I like that as a concept because all of you guys put something, you risk that.
The risk you took was that New York Times thing where you told them like, fuck Netflix.
Because there was no other comic out here who was like, I don't need that fucking Netflix shit.
I'm going to do this shit on my.
That was.
Rogan said it.
Isn't Netflix in time?
Well, Rogan was different, right?
Rogan was at a place where it's not.
No, he went on Rogan.
No, I said I went on Rogan.
That was the platform.
That was like, oh, shit.
But that's the wild thing is that's what it is.
That's what it is.
Your stance wasn't that I'm going to do this kind of comedy.
Your stance was, I'm going to do this comedy and I don't need constructs to be successful.
On a much smaller scale, I'm not going to try to put myself in a conversation on any of this.
When I had that little immigrant thing, that was the first time I felt like, oh, Indians are sharing this more than everybody else.
Flagrant fans look like this immigrants.
Can I tell you something about that clip real quick?
That's why I wanted to make it clear that I wasn't responding to that clip to the tweet.
That was powerful.
The reason why it was powerful for me.
I would have co-tweeted that, but you didn't even write.
But look, I'm going to be real with you.
But you know why I didn't say anything about it?
It's because I don't know what you're talking about.
I don't know whether you're right or whether or not you're wrong.
But you know what I did though, though?
I didn't know whether or not you were right or whether or not you were wrong.
So I can't really speak to that.
But what I did know was that you fucking cared and invested into that dialogue.
That meant something to you.
And so I could see that as far as what was right and what was wrong, but I really couldn't speak on it because I don't know.
There could be a kid across.
He's fucking up.
So yeah, again, much smaller scale.
When it started to get, I didn't expect Indians to, I didn't expect Indians before a lot of immigrant kids, but Indians for the first time, random Indians were like, yo, my girl is like random people that don't know you or don't know we're dating that I follow posting this.
And I said something.
Sorry, I just.
No, no, no, no, go, go, go, go.
I said something that I didn't realize it, but a lot of Indians felt this way, but nobody was saying it.
And then I said it, and now they feel like, oh, this guy's finally saying the thing I want to hear.
That's a different thing.
You guys did it on a much larger scale.
So my sister is, I guess you call her activist or whatever, in Sudan, right?
She lives here, but when she was in Sudan, she used to post these videos all about how stuff is messed up and like things that not just government is messed up.
So she'd do that, but also something, things culturally in Sudan.
And so she had this one video about this one dude who was talking about Sudanese girls.
A Sudanese dude talking about Sudanese girls are ugly and I like Lebanese girls better.
And this dude is a grown-ass man with kids and stuff.
My sister had this long, really like, hey man, like you have children, you have daughters, man.
What kind of example are you sending when you say this kind of stuff?
That video went super viral in the Sudanese community to the point where Sudanese people were sending me this shit and saying, hey, man, you see this girl say this?
I'm like, that's my fucking sister.
Of course I've seen it.
So like, don't, don't put it on a smaller scale because it is powerful, especially in those communities.
Now, having said that, there was something I really disagreed with you about on that.
Yeah, go ahead.
And my thing is what it was.
I agree with you in that, you know, the generation that came before us had this work ethic and some of us do have that work ethic and we need to stop making excuses if you don't.
At the same time, I don't think, I think you took it, I know you were just talking like you were in the moment, but part of it felt like you took it a step far in saying like, we shouldn't expect any of this shit.
Like, technically, yes, in spirit, we shouldn't.
But the reality is we should because even as immigrants, we are still like the rights and stuff.
And I thought about like, you're saying this thing, it's a minute.
You want to get in, you want to get out.
It's a podcast that's not this.
But yeah, with context, you deserve liberty and the basic human rights enjoying running water.
We don't deserve them.
They're guaranteed.
They're guaranteed.
And so everyone is supposed to.
So if you're not getting them.
If you're not getting them, you should work your ass off to make sure that you're accessing them because they're guaranteed.
And by the way, even if you are getting them, because my kids are going to grow up like hustling.
Like they're not going, they won't know kind of like with the thing that you were kind of describing that some of these kids out here, second generation, third generation, like, oh my God, why?
So no, no, you're going to have that mentality, but also at the same time, we're going to work for you to have that safety net because it's not fair for some people to have an ability to take risks knowing that I got some other shit that's going to catch me.
Whereas for us, that's not a reality.
So I would say two points.
One is my general point was whatever your mentality is, is don't ask anybody for fucking anything.
Go have the mentality.
I'm going to go take what the fuck I want.
I don't want the, and it was about the Oscars.
I don't think the Oscars owes it to minorities to give us nominations.
Go make great art.
And worst case scenario, you don't get the nomination, but this guy's shattering an entire fucking industry.
Sure, sure.
And that's it.
And if you're making money, if you're fighting for a moment.
That's the shit I was going to ask you about the black porn stars.
Is there any feeling that to me, this is my only point to any of that.
It doesn't make any sense to rap on Mass's door and then ask him why he isn't respecting you or giving you an award.
That doesn't make any sense.
However, if the Academy Awards or any industry anywhere is less than diverse, there's nothing wrong with letting other people know that we're here because we're making art too.
Now, for me personally, I would rather, as a black man, see us care a little bit about a little bit more about the award shows and the accolades and the things that we can give each other because we understand our art and our country.
Now, but wait a second.
That doesn't mean though, that doesn't mean though, that I have a gripe with someone that goes, this situation is too white.
Because remember how America is sold.
America is sold.
And all of this stuff is not asking for anything that's not supposed to be guaranteed to you.
It's asking for the affirmation of things that should be the way that they are.
My thing is, go forth in the world and understand that shit ain't always fair.
By the way, not is it not always fair.
It's very rarely fair.
So be prepared to fail on the doorstep of fairness.
Now, what you'll eventually be able to get is what you're able to demand.
And you're better off demanding things in blocks and in groups.
So let me ask you this.
Oh, go ahead.
There's a point that I was going to say that I think Amin would share on a certain level.
And it's part of our guilt and low self-worth probably as immigrant kids.
But when you say shit like, this isn't fair here, whatever, I understand how inherently unfair it is that I am in America.
That I'm here.
You said shit like we should all have access to basic, like running water.
Both of us got relatives, don't got access to running water, clean water.
We drink their water, we will die straight up.
That's the condition.
So when we're like, we deserve this, in my mind, I'm like, yeah, sure, we deserve it.
We're very fucking lucky to have that.
So when I see a lot of people complaining about the Oscars or whatever, to me, it sounds very spoiled.
And maybe that's my own shit, but I'm like, to me, we are the 1%.
To be honest with you, you're never fortunate enough to deal with inequality.
You're never fortunate enough to have to suffer through inequality.
We're all fortunate to be living.
We're fortunate to be alive.
We're fortunate to be in this situation.
We're fortunate to have opinions.
We're fortunate to be in a situation where the state, to a degree, doesn't control what it is that we're saying.
But good fortune is never going to be a trade-off for not getting what you're supposed to from.
It's a simultaneous thing.
You can appreciate and still work to it.
Wealth Given Fairness Question00:07:59
Shultzi knows this is the first time I was on Brilliant Idiots.
I told him stories about like growing up in Sudan.
We played barefoot.
There was like torture houses across the street.
And for me, I didn't, that's just reality.
Right.
And then come here and you're like, oh, shit.
Like, you get to say whatever the fuck you want.
Be like, like, be you, be appreciative of them.
Yes.
But also know that there's a different set of rules.
It can, it can, yeah, it could always be.
Maybe, maybe, um, maybe there's two things that are being said at the same time.
And one thing is, what is the route to take for success?
And I think Akash was trying to get on what we would try to put in our kids' minds, which is, hey, hustle because I think it's the route to greatness.
Or route to greatness.
Hustle because hustle is going to get you there.
And like you said, yes, the world might not be fair, even though it should.
But if you hustle 100% hard and put your blinders on to all the fuck shit out there, you're going to do way better than if you don't.
And then at the same time, maybe it's our responsibility to tell our kids, hey, you also deserve fairness.
Just because I said the world ain't fair, don't mean when some shit ain't fair that you don't go yet or that you can't do a little work to make the system as good as it is.
100%.
It might never be perfect.
But you shouldn't quit because you should still grind and, like you said, make your money in groups or whatever it is.
And some people make their groups based on religion.
Some people make their groups based on race.
Some people make their groups based on ideology.
But groups work.
Groups work.
And whatever they're based on.
Unions are a group.
All I'm saying is like, you know, there was one point being an immigrant where you came to America, maybe not a brown immigrant, and they gave you millions of acres of land.
And with that, with the millions of acres of land that they gave those immigrants, they gave them all the resources under the land.
They gave them all of that stuff.
And that was to build their country.
I don't know history.
When you're talking about the recent history of immigrants.
So what I'm saying is, in establishing a country, wealth was given, given, not earned.
Wealth was given to somebody, just not you.
But there are immigrants who come here and they get extreme wealth without any land given or wealth given.
All the time.
But what I'm talking about, the majority of this country's like wealth was given.
So all I'm saying is that it doesn't make any sense.
The way I look at things differently, the way I've kind of evolved, is I look at things in terms of.
What about the most recent immigrants?
Because the most recent immigrants who come were not given wealth.
They weren't given anything.
What I'm saying is...
Because we have to talk about things in the context of time, right?
If what we want to do is find the ways to succeed within now, not within the past.
No, no, no, no.
But to me, I would say the structures built in the past are still.
No, no, no, no.
So what I'm saying is What I'm saying is, when you're getting to a situation of trying to redefine what is fair or what is just or equal, understand that it's not wrong of you to ask for these things because at some point somebody was given to them.
It's wrong of you to rely on them.
If you rely on them, you're relying on somebody else, somebody else's altruism for your future.
You just can't do that if you're going to win.
No, that's not.
It's certainly not wrong to ask for that.
No, you should ask.
You should ask for everything you're entitled to.
100%.
If your landlord says, hey, you get air conditioning and the air conditioning not work, what do you say?
You say, hey, where's my air conditioner?
100%.
I guess what I'm trying to say also is that we can look in the past, right?
Like we can look in the past and go, hey, all these white immigrants that came here got all this land and they were able to build wealth because of it.
100%.
But we're not in the past, right?
We're in now.
He specifically referenced the past.
He referenced one generation ago.
Don't matter.
Let me finish.
So I guess what I'm saying is like you can have an almost Pat Riley approach to the game, which is like, hey, triangle offense, triangle offense.
And then people can look at you and go, hey, the triangle offense don't really fucking work anymore.
Like maybe there's a different way to work it.
What's the way to work it?
Who's killing right now?
Golden State's killing.
Well, who lives in Golden State?
Those Asians.
What do those Asians do?
Oh, those Asians are out there becoming fucking doctors, engineers, doing whatever they fucking do, and they're having incredible success in the world.
Okay, that's the new approach.
That's the new wealth.
That's the new land.
And those people are out-succeeding any, when I mean Asians, I mean Akash Asians.
I mean, you know, Chinese Asians, they're out-succeeding.
I mean, fucking Nigerians that come here and do the same thing.
I mean, they're out-succeeding.
But what I would say to you, that's very fair.
Achievement.
The problem is, is that if you go into this thing without sort of a blueprint and an understanding of the history of the country, the context, you'll understand something is that that's not you.
Now, as much as we would, the reality is that that's not you.
Like your place, I'm talking about black people in America was very specifically engineered, completely 100,000% intentional.
You are exactly where you were meant to be.
Okay?
And the system, as far as that's concerned, that's concerned, is working right, is working completely right.
What I would say is that's not enough for you to throw your cards in, but it is enough for you to take the historical context and what it is that you know and understand how you circumvent that system.
And so what, like, if you understand redlining or if you understand what happened to blacks when they did come together and build thriving communities and build economically viable communities, how a lot of those communities were destroyed very purposely, what you'll understand is what you're sort of in for and what you need to watch out for.
It's not to take anybody and make it all their fault.
Because if you're going to succeed anywhere, you'll understand what people were in for before you, but to act like you have to go through the same redlining that they went through is it still exists all the time.
A lot of young man.
A lot of those contracts are still around.
To be honest with you, and some of them went through the differentiation.
I'll give you an example like that.
Out of respect to them.
I'll give you an example like this.
I'll give you an example like this.
In Florida right now, they just passed a law that says if you are a felon, they actually rescinded one and there's a new thing.
If you're a felon, before you can vote, right?
Yes.
Before you can vote, you have to pay back all of your restitution and everything to the court so you can't come out there and vote, right?
Then on top of that, if you haven't done that, when you're filling out your voter registration form and you answer questions on it, if you don't even know if you're at restitution and all of that stuff is paid up and you answer wrong, they can retry you or put you back in jail on another felony, right?
And this past?
It's done.
And so It's either done or it's out there.
I'm not sure.
But what I'm saying is only is for black people?
It's not for black people.
But what I'm saying is what are we talking about?
It disproportionately affects the African-American community.
Right, right, right.
But that's different.
We're talking about, we're talking about redlining, which was specifically done.
Well, actually, actually, but like the thing is, though, when they talked about poll taxes and things back in the back and then, those poll taxes weren't specifically, some of this stuff wasn't specifically for African Americans.
It was just something that they knew would affect Africa.
Right, like the grandfather clause, all of that stuff.
So in this particular situation right here, what you have is a state under a government that is trying to control and manufacture democracy.
In order to understand why that's so destructive, you need to understand how that playbook has been put into play on your people before then.
It helps.
It doesn't help to vilify somebody as much as it helps to galvanize people.
To me, it's an educational thing.
You can't just say, well, that's how it was back then.
Well, you just suck it up now.
And it's things.
You got to understand it so that you understand the potential landmines that exist.
They may not exist in the same form that they did back then, but they still exist in some form.
Oppression Roots Barrier00:13:07
And you have to be cognizant of it.
Otherwise, you're going to get a ruled away.
I'm not saying don't know your history by any means.
Absolutely.
Know your history, understand it.
I mean, I just think that it's more advantageous for you to focus on the barriers that exist now so you can find ways to get around them.
A lot of those barriers have roots in the past.
I'll give you a lot of example.
So I've never got to talk to Charlemagne about this because this was back when his book came out.
But the idea of black privilege, like I know what he's saying, the spirit of what he's saying, but it's almost like saying someone, like, remember the wrestler who had no legs?
I can't remember.
You don't remember the like, not like WWF, but like the Greco-Roman wrestling, the Olympic wrestling.
He went to the SU, Anthony Gonzalez, I think his name was.
He had no legs, right?
And so he started wrestling and he was fucking great at it.
And so he was great at it because he didn't allow his disability to hold him back.
He also had a weight advantage.
But the point is.
He was proportionally stronger because he was missing the weight of his legs.
Okay.
Let me do something different.
So he would wrestle these things.
Let me do something different.
So Shaquim Griffin.
Shaquine Griffin, the kid for the Seahawks, has one or one hand.
Plays defense, not wide receiver.
Yeah, exactly.
But my point is this.
He's able to be successful, and that's great.
But that doesn't mean as a result, ipso facto, let's all cut off our hands because that's the rotation.
But nobody's saying that.
But it is what you kind of say, like overcoming the odds is something that is.
No, no, no, no.
This is what I'm saying.
What I'm saying is we could look in the past and we could study how people cut their arms off.
And then we could also study how people, you know, we could study other prosthetics from like the 1800s.
Or we could get an understanding of that, which is very important.
We could understand the history of people who've played without prosthetics because we can learn from that.
And then we can also hit up MIT and be like, yo, what's the new shit that you got going for your audience?
Oh, if you don't exist, I mean, the reality in the now.
I completely understand what you're saying.
But I have two hands.
I also think there's almost like there's almost a certain extent where you get diminishing returns when you have a hyper focus on the just abuse of your people.
Inequity.
Like and inequity of your people that you cannot internalize that and you cannot go through your everyday life thinking like that.
Like my mom, you know, we are Scottish.
My mom watched fucking Braveheart and I remember her relive.
Wait, wait, wait.
Wait, let me finish.
Let me finish.
I remember her.
I remember her bawling, crying, and angry for three days.
And I didn't understand it until later on her life.
That she hated Mel Gibson.
No, She fucking loved Mel Gibson.
But like, what she hated was the English for a second.
And then, but what it really was is she came to America, she made her own money, and she forgot the insecurities she grew up with was being lesser than, being taken advantage of because of who she was, being looked at as poor because of her accent.
She came from a poor.
She forgot those things in America.
She also forgot her accent.
Oh, she shows her accent.
I've met your mom.
This is what I'll say to what you're saying, Andrew, just real quick.
This is what I'll say.
Yes, she was saying that.
Remember, remember, in order to help black Americans, whatever Americans are saying culturally, I'm selling something to them.
An idea, right?
An idea of unity and group operations, an idea of cultural patience, an idea of all of these things, right?
Investing into yourself, investing into your people, building strong structures for all of this.
Great.
100%.
But here's the thing, though.
In order to get the buy-in, I have to stress why it's so important.
And in order to stress why it's so important, I have to show what happens when we go it alone, or I have to show what exactly we're up against.
And so for me...
See, that I disagree with.
Okay, well, we disagree on it.
But to me, the reason why is because I have to say, listen, we're talking about the Oscars right now.
I have to say, listen, you guys, there's a history in America of them not understanding black culture and black art.
So what you're doing right now, not just now, this isn't new.
This has always been the way that it was.
So what you're doing right now is you're wrapping your head against a door that may never open for you.
But what you can do is reset the standard.
Love it.
Now, in order to do that, in order to get the buy-in from that, they have to understand exactly from a historical context in America what it is that I'm talking about.
And they also have to understand something else.
They have to understand that what they've been told isn't true.
That the fact that they've been told that they're the worst, that they've been told that they're inherently criminal, that they've been told all of these things, that that's not true.
That there is a reason and a process by which all of these things happen.
And in order to do that, you have to know your history.
Now, what I will say is where I've come along is you can't be angry about it.
You can't be upset about it.
You got to go forth and build new shit.
And I think that that's what I'm saying.
Listen, it's simple.
I'm just using your battles.
Like, I think it is important to have knowledge of your roots.
I believe that Marcus Garvey quote, the people without knowledge of its history is like a truth without its roots.
I think you can tell people this is what we might be up against, whatever.
But isn't there something to be said for picking your battles?
I'm getting married to my girl.
Not everything is a fight.
Not everything.
She gets on my nerves every fucking day.
I'm probably going to hurt her nerves every fucking day.
Not everything needs to be a fight.
The Oscars don't need to be a fight.
You can understand the larger context.
This is what they be doing, but also it does if you exist in that industry.
Can I say one thing, just to respond to Vanson, where about how to galvanize the people?
I think there are different ways to galvanize people.
I think that different ways are effective, right?
I think one way is to essentially build up the enemy and see what you're up against and show how you're oppressed and remind people, like, hey, you're oppressed, and this is the history of the oppression, and this is what we're up against.
That's not what I said to do, but go ahead.
Not necessarily what you said to do.
It's not what I said to do at all.
What I said to do is you take people and you start with, this is exactly what I said.
You start with what you have to do to be successful.
Right.
Which is in the now.
How are we going to be economically and politically and socially successful?
And then in selling to them why it's so important to do it this way.
Right.
Okay.
You then give them the history of how it dare work.
The history of what?
The history of...
Oppression, right?
Not even oppression, the history of America and the situation that they've had black people.
Which was oppression.
Whatever.
What was it?
Oppression or progression?
But what is America?
Progressing black people or oppressive people?
But what I'm saying is you don't start with telling them how bad it was.
You start with telling them how they can ascend.
And you tell them why this specific person is.
This is important.
100%.
What happened?
Oh, you got to go?
I got probably two minutes.
I got to go.
Okay, we'll finish in one minute.
Have a seat.
Go.
Okay.
Love you.
Thank you.
Great to see you.
All right, man.
I mean, be good.
Thank you for coming, Doc.
I appreciate you.
Hit me.
Text me.
We're good for the opening on Saturday right now.
I'll text you later.
Text me later.
So I get, I guess, what again, I didn't mean to switch up your order, but I think that we were on the same point of the importance of like reinforcing the things that you're up against.
100%.
And I think it is important for people to know that.
But I also think that groups gravitate towards success because at the end of the day, people want to have success.
And I think that you can show that through success.
Like for me, when I look at a Tyler Perry, I go, whoa, that guy has his own fucking studio.
That's what he said.
He said, I built, wait, out of his own mouth.
Yeah, yeah.
He said, forget about like, forget about sitting at somebody else's table.
I built my own.
My own.
Yeah.
He's acknowledging the barrier.
Oh, no, no.
Wait, wait, wait, wait.
I'm not disagreeing with you.
No, no, no.
Acknowledging what you're saying.
He's saying, I couldn't sit with you.
So I did.
He's acknowledging the barrier.
Yeah, we both agree.
I know.
We agree.
That's what I'm saying.
What I'm saying is, I understand there's a barrier, right?
But what he did is, instead of focusing on the negative and the oppression to galvanize, what he did is he just did it and then he went, hey, this is the way to do it.
Now, in no way am I comparing my career to the black struggle in America, but I think there were a lot of comics that probably resonated with maybe not having opportunities and the networks not giving them opportunities.
And then when they saw me go a different way and start putting up clips, and then most importantly of all, having success with it and then selling out fucking theaters around the world, once they saw that it worked, they were like, I want to do that.
And now the way you do comedy is this formula that we put out where you're cutting up these clips and posting these clips and posting on YouTube and doing all these things.
So we transformed a whole industry simply by success.
And I think that there is an amazing way of doing that within community as well.
And I think the people that see a Tyler model, when they see a you model, Van, I mean, I don't, I think you can, you might be selling yourself short in terms of your influence, even if it's on doing your own thing, regardless of what you do in the future or even being on TMZ.
Like that is very powerful to them.
You know what I mean?
When they see you stand up to some famous guy, regardless if he's Kanye or anybody else, they go, oh shit, if you live your truth, it actually works out.
Maybe that's a good idea.
So I think showing instead of telling, and I think the economic prosperity that comes with success is the best influencer, man.
I would agree.
But I would agree with that.
Two things.
Number one, Tyler Perry specifically asked for the cultural buy-in of African Americans to build his empire.
100%.
He specifically asked.
He made content for them?
But he specifically asked and said, Yo, I'm here working for y'all because these other doors ain't open.
So that's always been a part of his thing.
The second thing I'll say is the only thing that's going to, the only thing that breeds success in America is success.
You can't complain or billiate your way to anything.
Just doesn't work.
Will never work.
However, I think that's what Akash was saying.
I get it.
However, however, I will say this.
That doesn't mean you wipe the slate for a society that hasn't earned it.
And so, and so when I asked, and so all I'm saying is this: I understand it used to be a point to where I would, oh, raise, raise, raise.
Why does this happen?
Why don't we get this?
Why aren't we getting what we deserve?
Why don't we get that's not what I'm saying anymore.
I'm saying it's up to us to build and decide what it is that we deserve amongst ourselves and use leverage to do it.
But when someone comes to me, and this is what I'm saying, when someone comes to me and they say, Van, why do I have to go to a black restaurant and deal with them in their opening stages and give the money to them like over a restaurant that's been around 80 or 90 years?
When black people come to you and say that.
When black people come to you.
Why would I bank black when they don't have the online banking system that Bank of America has?
When they don't have all of these things, when they don't have all this stuff, why am I going to have to be culturally patient and have allegiance to certain things?
I have to explain to them why it's going to work for them and for us to at least partly invest into our own.
And it has to do with the fact that that's the way that we'll be strongest in the long run.
Not saying that you can't have your Bank of America account or you can't go eat a nice meal at the Cheesecake Factory.
I enjoy it.
What I'm saying is a little bit of this should come back into your own community because if you don't do it, it will not get done.
And there is history behind that.
Yo, real talk, 100%.
I mean, the name of the game is get resources.
You know, we've spoken about this before.
We break ourselves up into these little, into these little groups.
And whether society does it or we do it, that's just what happens.
And it's about acquiring those resources and people do whatever they can to get them.
And it's up to, to be honest, it's up to those banks to have a competitive advantage on other banks by offering loans to black people that maybe those other banks won't offer.
If you want, like Tyler Perry is the bank.
And the bank went to the people and said.
So if these banks are like, yo, we're just going to offer the same loans as Bank of America.
But it's like, why am I giving you my black people if you're not going to be able to do that?
What I'm saying is that my black man, the more money that they, the more money that they have, the more money, the more money that they have, the better, the better we assume their lending practices will be.
Van is right, but it's really fucking hard to do.
It's insanely hard, but you gotta try.
You gotta try and I agree with you and my point, the reason I specifically said people who look like me, is because I don't black people up against a whole different thing I'm saying, when you come here, there's a lot of like the Oscars.
The idea is I need white acceptance.
Who gives a fuck about the seat at the white table?
Go make your own table.
That's exactly what Tyler Perry is saying.
I don't, I'm fucking with to me, a lot of that shit is wanting acceptance from white people and it's like, yo, I'm not about your acceptance.
Rejecting White Acceptance00:03:43
That's the part of it right there.
And I say this because I got a black woman waiting in the car but like, but I'll say this.
This is what I'll say.
What I'll say is, that's the part I got your love.
That's the part that you have to get away from.
The part that you have to get away from is wanting that sort of intangible acceptance and love from a group specifically that hasn't showed you in the past that they would actually be willing to give it to you wholesale.
Not so much even white people.
I'm talking about mainstream American society.
They're gonna give you what you earn, so you gotta figure out better ways to earn it.
I'm asking for love from groups.
That's what can I say?
One thing, I only ask for love from black women because I feel like Andrew and A Cost.
Try to sell me short right here.
Andrew, I gotta go to, I gotta.
I'm glad we had this convo because I was just in a real way.
Yeah.
I really am proud of y'all.
Thank you, man.
I don't even know you as well.
Thank you, man.
But when I see you and I send your clips around and shit like that, I'm like, yo, Doug, appreciate it.
I'm really proud of you.
Alex, not so much.
But real talk, no, but I want to just say publicly to Van, thank you for what you did with Kanye.
I used to be at Kanye Stan, and it was like really important to me that you did that.
I still listen to you.
No, I still listen to his music, but it was really important that somebody likes it.
10 years, nobody said this shit to him.
And it's important that I say while you're here, I know I get a lot of credit for my success, but my success is dependent on everybody in this room.
You know what I mean?
So, like, I did spend a lot of money.
I don't know if I said that earlier.
But in all honesty, this is Akash's place.
This is Alex's place.
It might be Eden's place.
We'll see how he does.
But it's really all of us, everything here.
And I hope if you ever need anything that we can provide for you, man.
I'll be back, man.
Love you, dog.
Van, thank you for what you do publicly.
It's appreciated, even if it's not acknowledged.
All right.
Hey.
Appreciate you.
Hey, guys, this has been another episode of Flagrant 2.
I think we got to put this out on a regular, man.
I think we got to do a little regular.
I was thinking of saying, but we got to cut some stuff.
If we're going to put it out publicly, we got to cut some stuff.
All right.
We're going to see.
If we do, we'll cut it.
We'll put it on the page.
Yeah, that's what I'm saying.
And leave this part in so these motherfuckers know what they're missing out on.
They don't got the Patreon.
Bitch asses.
Hey, man, we love y'all.
Come join our Patreon, man.
It's really the realest, man.
Conversations like this.
The funny, the seriousness, the thoughtfulness.
Bro, I don't know if I said this to you.
When I was going through, you were in Egypt.
I was trying to figure out the best up clips.
Son, the Patreon messed up.
There's so many.
Because we just get to go.
We just get to do it.
And it's just like, yo, there was about 20 clips that I was like, any one of these could go.
I had to cut some shit.
Anyway, y'all, go make sure you check us out.
Akashsing.com.
Get all his tour dates.
We got that show.
Hope, you know, we got that show in LA, man.
The fourth show for the special taping.
Easter Sunday, 9:30.
TheandrewShows.com for tickets.
Go get that.
We'll be in Atlanta this weekend.
Alabama, I think there's some tickets left.
And theandrewscholls.com for the rest of those.
Thank y'all for the support.
Akash, tell them where you're going to be.
Yo, this week, if we put this out on the regular episode, it'd be January 29th.
I am at the punchline in Sacramento.
January 30th through February 1st, I'm at Rooster T Feathers in San Jose.
February 6th, I'm at Zane's in Nashville, coming the fuck through.