Flagrant - Andrew Schulz & Akaash Singh - The Gayest Way To Read feat. Francis Ellis
Aired: 2020-01-24
Duration: 10:01


=== Francis Wants To Rap (08:57) ===

[00:00:04]  Guys, welcome to the Patreon episode of Flagrant 2.
[00:00:07]  We got my man.
[00:00:08]  I'm not even going to say the name because you know him from his bars.
[00:00:12]  You know him from his fucking bars.
[00:00:15]  No.
[00:00:15]  Okay.
[00:00:17]  What is the rap name?
[00:00:18]  What is your rap name?
[00:00:20]  Bars, bar schools.
[00:00:21]  He got all of it.
[00:00:22]  Yeah, I didn't have a rap name.
[00:00:24]  Okay.
[00:00:25]  You can tell from his voice that you're going to be tired.
[00:00:28]  Oh, man.
[00:00:29]  This is scary.
[00:00:31]  This is going to be so bad, but it's okay.
[00:00:33]  And can we get some kind of beat going?
[00:00:35]  Oh!
[00:00:37]  First of all, I remember doing the Wild and Out audition.
[00:00:40]  Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[00:00:41]  And I had a freestyle all cooked up and ready to go.
[00:00:45]  And we had agreed in the like discussion because you know you make the song.
[00:00:50]  We had agreed in that discussion that we were all going to hold on.
[00:00:53]  We were all going to do, we're all just going to do like the beat.
[00:00:57]  And then like, I think Carlos was going to rap and someone else is going to rap.
[00:01:00]  But that whole time, I was like, I want to be on this show.
[00:01:04]  So I wrote in my head a rap and I was just going to bust out and I was going to steal the show.
[00:01:10]  Yeah.
[00:01:10]  Right.
[00:01:11]  And Carlos went out, killed it.
[00:01:13]  We had a chorus and everything.
[00:01:14]  The beat was still going.
[00:01:16]  And I went out there and I lost that beat so fast.
[00:01:20]  It's so hard.
[00:01:22]  Holy shit.
[00:01:23]  I tried.
[00:01:24]  I stumbled.
[00:01:24]  And I just like tucked my head in fucking shame.
[00:01:26]  So the fact that you actually want a beat, you're making it harder for yourself with the beat.
[00:01:33]  I don't plan to do.
[00:01:34]  Well, okay.
[00:01:35]  All right.
[00:01:35]  Well, let's not do a beat.
[00:01:36]  No, do the beat.
[00:01:37]  This is.
[00:01:38]  No, you're right.
[00:01:38]  You've made me aware.
[00:01:39]  Running.
[00:01:40]  Now I've been.
[00:01:41]  This is hazy.
[00:01:42]  This is hazy.
[00:01:44]  Yeah.
[00:01:44]  Huh?
[00:01:45]  Huh?
[00:01:47]  Okay.
[00:01:47]  Just waiting for that drum.
[00:01:49]  Come on, drum.
[00:01:50]  F. Ellis.
[00:01:51]  Straight from Vermont backwards.
[00:01:53]  My name is SickNarth Backwards.
[00:01:55]  SickNorf in the motherfucking building.
[00:01:57]  Come on.
[00:01:58]  Let's go.
[00:02:00]  Okay.
[00:02:02]  Got to let it flow one time.
[00:02:04]  I didn't know the speed of it.
[00:02:05]  I don't know the speed of it.
[00:02:06]  I got to hear one round.
[00:02:08]  Come on.
[00:02:09]  This is where they always make, they talk to their friends.
[00:02:11]  They're like, pour one out for that guy who died.
[00:02:14]  You know?
[00:02:16]  Yeah.
[00:02:17]  Okay.
[00:02:18]  Oh.
[00:02:20]  We going at life.
[00:02:21]  It's so full throttle.
[00:02:24]  My man, Schultzy model.
[00:02:26]  That's what we trying to emulate.
[00:02:28]  Taking over control.
[00:02:30]  It's our fate.
[00:02:31]  Keeping my shit's fucking brown.
[00:02:33]  Like, Akash Singh, bring it around.
[00:02:36]  Yo, I miss my man, Kaz.
[00:02:38]  I coordinated my outfit.
[00:02:40]  I had my shoes match my North Face coat.
[00:02:43]  And he didn't show up.
[00:02:44]  Yo, Kaz, are you pro?
[00:02:47]  What happened to you, man?
[00:02:48]  I'm taking your seat.
[00:02:49]  You better nothing.
[00:02:50]  Coming back again.
[00:02:52]  Let's get it going, yo.
[00:02:55]  This is the fucking motherfucking truth.
[00:02:57]  I'm with my man Schultzy and Akash.
[00:03:00]  Bringing to you the Flagrant 2.
[00:03:02]  Oh!
[00:03:04]  Come on!
[00:03:05]  Yo!
[00:03:06]  Start a podcast!
[00:03:07]  Yo!
[00:03:09]  Take that, Wayne Jetsky!
[00:03:11]  Yeah, Wayne.
[00:03:12]  Take that, Wayne!
[00:03:15]  All right.
[00:03:16]  That's a good name drop there.
[00:03:18]  Can Wayne Smith?
[00:03:19]  He can.
[00:03:20]  He does it a lot.
[00:03:21]  You thought you were the nicest on breakfast barstool.
[00:03:25]  No way, Jose.
[00:03:26]  We got Francis motherfucking Ellis in the building.
[00:03:28]  Dude, I was very impressed.
[00:03:29]  That was great.
[00:03:31]  Dude, that was great.
[00:03:32]  It was good.
[00:03:33]  No, it was good.
[00:03:34]  It was off the dome.
[00:03:36]  It was passionate.
[00:03:37]  And you didn't change your voice.
[00:03:39]  A lot of white rappers, they like turn into rap voice.
[00:03:42]  Yeah, I don't like that.
[00:03:43]  I don't like that.
[00:03:43]  It's cultural appropriation.
[00:03:45]  It is.
[00:03:47]  If I try to rap black, I sound bad.
[00:03:50]  It's offensive.
[00:03:51]  Yeah.
[00:03:52]  I'm sure.
[00:03:52]  Yo, what up?
[00:03:54]  You know, I don't have it.
[00:03:56]  Black guy is mad.
[00:03:57]  That's a black friend of mine.
[00:04:00]  Black guy I know.
[00:04:01]  That's how I know that voice, you know?
[00:04:06]  Ooh, look at this.
[00:04:09]  Yo, for real, though, no joke.
[00:04:11]  I wasn't kidding when I said that.
[00:04:13]  I wore my sweet Witherspoon Air Maxes to match with Francis.
[00:04:19]  This is a little sneakerhead.
[00:04:20]  Also low.
[00:04:21]  I know.
[00:04:21]  Yellow North Face.
[00:04:22]  Kevin Clancy, too.
[00:04:23]  KFC, too.
[00:04:24]  Barstool got a little sneaker culture.
[00:04:25]  Yeah, they lost a good chunk of it.
[00:04:30]  When I left?
[00:04:31]  Or when I was fired?
[00:04:32]  Yeah, they did.
[00:04:33]  Unceremoniously.
[00:04:34]  Yeah.
[00:04:35]  Yeah.
[00:04:36]  Fuck you, Pizza Review guy.
[00:04:37]  Wow.
[00:04:40]  Somehow that meant something to Francis.
[00:04:42]  But Francis said, woo.
[00:04:44]  Hey, listen, I ride with Francis.
[00:04:45]  Yo, fuck about the business.
[00:04:48]  I got no beef with Dave Portnoy, though.
[00:04:49]  You got no beef?
[00:04:50]  No beef.
[00:04:51]  No beef.
[00:04:52]  I'll take your beef.
[00:04:52]  You can have some beef.
[00:04:53]  I'll take your beef on.
[00:04:54]  Yeah, all grass-fed.
[00:04:56]  Bring it on.
[00:04:57]  So I wore this.
[00:05:00]  I think an organic beef chip.
[00:05:02]  It'd be fun.
[00:05:03]  This is a Renaissance man, dude.
[00:05:04]  Francis went from freestyling to Whole Foods.
[00:05:08]  Oh, I wrote a rap about being a Renaissance man.
[00:05:12]  That was my song.
[00:05:13]  All right, go.
[00:05:14]  Well, let's see.
[00:05:15]  Let's get a beat for that.
[00:05:17]  But this one I actually know.
[00:05:18]  I've written this one, so I can't pretend like I'm making this up.
[00:05:22]  I wrapped this for Ludacris.
[00:05:24]  Oh, okay.
[00:05:25]  So Ludacris, you can tell this Ludacris came on Barstool Breakfast.
[00:05:28]  Yeah.
[00:05:30]  And you said when Ludacris was on Barstool Breakfast.
[00:05:33]  Yeah, I told him.
[00:05:34]  You were like, I want to rap for you.
[00:05:35]  I think I said I rap.
[00:05:36]  I rap.
[00:05:37]  As in opening the door.
[00:05:38]  And did he walk in?
[00:05:40]  He sure did.
[00:05:40]  He did.
[00:05:41]  He came in with a gift.
[00:05:42]  Was he like, move, bitch, get it?
[00:05:43]  He was like, here's some Hennessy, have a sip, and then rap for me.
[00:05:46]  And I was like, happily.
[00:05:48]  Okay.
[00:05:49]  So then what happens?
[00:05:50]  So then I rapped for him and I rapped this whole song I used to do.
[00:05:55]  And he then gave me feedback.
[00:05:58]  Okay, so let's hear the song.
[00:05:59]  Yeah.
[00:06:00]  I'll just do one version of it.
[00:06:01]  And then we'll hear the feedback.
[00:06:02]  Yeah, yeah.
[00:06:02]  And we'll see if our feedback is on par with.
[00:06:05]  Okay.
[00:06:05]  Now, admittedly, sometimes with this one, I slip into the black voice.
[00:06:09]  Okay.
[00:06:09]  So I don't, it's a little bit hard.
[00:06:12]  Try your hardest time.
[00:06:13]  I'm going to try hard not to.
[00:06:15]  Trying your hardest to do it.
[00:06:17]  This is called Renaissance, man.
[00:06:19]  Yeah.
[00:06:20]  By the time I was 16, it was getting pretty clear.
[00:06:22]  I could go where I wanted the summer of junior year, getting calls every day.
[00:06:25]  Hear what coaches had to say.
[00:06:26]  Offers on the table, but I pushed them all away.
[00:06:28]  Had a sights on the best, didn't know what to do.
[00:06:30]  I was counting them at first, but they finally came through.
[00:06:32]  Right around here, my head started cruising.
[00:06:34]  Putting pedal to the metal, got the wheels moving.
[00:06:36]  Parents in my town thought it was all delusion.
[00:06:38]  Grinning because I'm knowing it's a foregone conclusion.
[00:06:40]  Like, fuck what they say.
[00:06:41]  I'm going to hit the UK.
[00:06:42]  Schools be lining up like this is buffet.
[00:06:44]  But back in the spring was a return of this kid.
[00:06:46]  Calling bitches proto-backs.
[00:06:47]  Looking for a ring.
[00:06:48]  One foot out the door, throwing me awards.
[00:06:50]  Skills on stage, have me reaping the reward.
[00:06:51]  But I left him in the dust with a look of nonchalance.
[00:06:54]  Talented as fuck, calling this the Renaissance.
[00:06:56]  Yo!
[00:06:58]  Francis fired!
[00:07:01]  Yo!
[00:07:02]  That buffet line hit me, dog.
[00:07:04]  Dude, I'll be honest, that was so much faster than I thought that was going to be.
[00:07:07]  You really did it fast.
[00:07:08]  Yeah, well, I think I did it twice as fast.
[00:07:11]  I think I went double the pace that I was expecting.
[00:07:14]  But with ease, man.
[00:07:15]  Yeah, I was nervous.
[00:07:16]  You gotta do this, though.
[00:07:16]  You gotta wipe a little sweat off the lips.
[00:07:18]  It's driving me crazy.
[00:07:19]  Yeah, sorry about that.
[00:07:20]  Sweating here.
[00:07:21]  Dude, you fucking murdered that fan.
[00:07:22]  I'm having fun, man.
[00:07:23]  This is a list of wake up.
[00:07:25]  We're feeling good now.
[00:07:26]  Francis and I had a talk last night, and we're gonna make a musical.
[00:07:32]  I like it.
[00:07:32]  What a lot.
[00:07:33]  Yeah.
[00:07:34]  Oh, some gay shit, man.
[00:07:35]  Yeah, probably gay.
[00:07:37]  Is there any musical that's not gay?
[00:07:40]  I don't want to break the mold.
[00:07:42]  Yo, that'd be really funny if people who knew nothing about musicals, like that was their review of everything.
[00:07:49]  They're like, yo, you see Wicked?
[00:07:50]  Yeah, I think it's about the witch that was gay from The Wizard of Oz.
[00:07:54]  Yo, you see in Hamilton?
[00:07:56]  Yo, it turns out Hamilton was gay, fam.
[00:08:00]  Like, how you got time for butt fucking while you making America?
[00:08:03]  Yeah.
[00:08:04]  We need to do the gay review of all movies.
[00:08:08]  I love that.
[00:08:09]  Yeah.
[00:08:09]  That's great.
[00:08:10]  Yeah, it'll be pretty gay, for sure.
[00:08:13]  What was Ludacris' feedback?
[00:08:14]  He said that he liked the fact that the song was about things that were personal to me.
[00:08:22]  But that I had a couple issues with myself.
[00:08:25]  Yeah, you did write a rap about studying abroad.
[00:08:27]  Well, no, it's the second verse.
[00:08:29]  It is, yeah, the first verse, I don't even know, whatever.
[00:08:32]  It's all about, dude, when I went to, when I was a student.
[00:08:35]  Did you bring one sneaker here just so you can show you?
[00:08:39]  They make you take your shoes off when you walk in here.
[00:08:42]  You just got the floors of the whole space painted perfect white.
[00:08:46]  They are perfect white.
[00:08:47]  They're not perfect white.
[00:08:48]  And Eden's scooting around this goddamn office.
[00:08:51]  Scooting.
[00:08:52]  Alex has got an electric scooter.
[00:08:53]  Eden's scooting around the whole fucking office.
[00:08:55]  There's streaks all over the white floors.
[00:08:57]  This is a bold move to go white floors.
[00:08:59]  Really bold move to go white floor.
[00:09:00]  Son, we got to be bold.

=== Bold White Floor Drama (00:59) ===

[00:09:01]  Yeah.
[00:09:02]  Yeah.
[00:09:02]  You know what I mean?
[00:09:03]  Do you not pop off that white floor, bro?
[00:09:05]  I mean, probably.
[00:09:06]  Do you not pop off?
[00:09:07]  Yo, remember when Akash spilled coffee on it, though?
[00:09:10]  Yeah.
[00:09:10]  Oh, son, yesterday.
[00:09:12]  This is some organic beef that's brewing here.
[00:09:13]  All right, son.
[00:09:14]  Yesterday, I turned around and then I turned back and Akash was on his hands and knees and I was like, man, this guy's committed to keeping this place clean.
[00:09:23]  He probably saw a little speck or something like that.
[00:09:25]  And he wants.
[00:09:26]  That's true, though.
[00:09:27]  Well, he is committed.
[00:09:29]  And then I look back and he had spilled a whole cup of coffee.
[00:09:32]  I never spilled more anything in my life, but less anything in my life.
[00:09:35]  Son.
[00:09:36]  So here's these questions.
[00:09:37]  What did he say?
[00:09:38]  Son, I was so upset.
[00:09:39]  I just go, I go, you fucking klutz.
[00:09:47]  Yo, what's up?
[00:09:47]  This is Akash.
[00:09:48]  That was a preview of our Patreon episode.
[00:09:51]  If you want the full thing, go to www.patreon.com slash flagrant2.
[00:09:56]  Join the illest community on earth.
[00:09:58]  Unless you're a social justice lawyer, then you're just going to ruin the fun.