Flagrant - Andrew Schulz & Akaash Singh - The Most Flagrant Moments of 2019
Aired: 2019-12-31
Duration: 01:29:10


=== Welcome to Flagrant 2 (14:33) ===

[00:00:04]  Yo, what's up everybody?
[00:00:06]  Welcome to Flagrant 2.
[00:00:07]  No Easy Buckets.
[00:00:07]  I'm Akash Singh.
[00:00:08]  I'm here with Kazim Famugide.
[00:00:11]  Andrew is in Africa fighting off Ebola right now, but we're going to bring you the best of moments.
[00:00:18]  Just some of the funniest, wildest moments we had.
[00:00:20]  This is all the craziest moments from our free episode.
[00:00:23]  And the first one, I think I should probably do the intro because I really thought my relationship was over when Lisa Ann sat across from me.
[00:00:31]  And these motherfuckers are wingmanning for a faithful dude.
[00:00:33]  I don't understand why Kaz and Andrew talk about how big my dick is, which is an absolute baldface lie, first of all.
[00:00:39]  Second of all, Lisa plays into it because she knows I'm weak and I ain't got fucking nothing funny to say.
[00:00:44]  And she just preys on me.
[00:00:46]  Kaz, you got any comments?
[00:00:48]  Not really.
[00:00:49]  I mean, I remember Lisa just being an awesome guest and one of my favorite guests.
[00:00:53]  She's one of my favorite people.
[00:00:55]  So anytime we have our own flavor, it's really fun.
[00:00:57]  And watching Akash squirm around probably like the world's most famous porn star is always hilarious.
[00:01:04]  But shout out to everybody being a good sport.
[00:01:06]  And here it is.
[00:01:07]  Check it out.
[00:01:08]  We talk about this little thing that I'd like to put in my pocket.
[00:01:11]  Oh, shit.
[00:01:12]  Can we say before the show started?
[00:01:14]  Hold on, hold on.
[00:01:15]  We're not going to leave this.
[00:01:16]  No, we're not.
[00:01:17]  Lisa was flirting with him so hard.
[00:01:19]  Now he's pretty.
[00:01:20]  And he's a pretty, beautiful man.
[00:01:21]  He's a beautiful man.
[00:01:23]  No joke.
[00:01:23]  No joke.
[00:01:24]  Hung.
[00:01:26]  Thor's hammer.
[00:01:27]  So it's a third leg.
[00:01:28]  I've seen it.
[00:01:28]  Like a kickstand.
[00:01:29]  I mean, listen.
[00:01:30]  They call him the Billy Go.
[00:01:32]  It's not.
[00:01:33]  No, stop lying.
[00:01:34]  You'd be a little bit more.
[00:01:35]  You know what?
[00:01:35]  With handwriting that small, I think it's big.
[00:01:37]  You see how small he writes?
[00:01:39]  Look at his real handwriting.
[00:01:41]  You need a microscope to read his handwriting.
[00:01:44]  The only thing you need a microscope.
[00:01:46]  Be honest.
[00:01:47]  Stop it.
[00:01:48]  Akash, stop it.
[00:01:49]  Akash was a big movie.
[00:01:50]  We know you're a hungry movie.
[00:01:50]  He'd be great in a nof movie.
[00:01:52]  Like, he shows up.
[00:01:53]  He's the IT guy for Best Buy.
[00:01:55]  You know what I mean?
[00:01:56]  And he shows up to tell you that you haven't been looking at enough porn.
[00:02:00]  And then next thing you know, he shows you when you're looking at enough porn.
[00:02:03]  You don't have to pick it up.
[00:02:04]  You don't have enough viruses on this thing.
[00:02:07]  He sprayed a few viruses over here.
[00:02:11]  Well, thanks.
[00:02:14]  You need a floppy disc?
[00:02:15]  Did I age myself?
[00:02:17]  He's a little too old.
[00:02:19]  No, you need a new hard drive.
[00:02:21]  Okay, so big dick Akash.
[00:02:23]  That's what we usually call him on the show, right?
[00:02:25]  But he's super bashful about his big dick.
[00:02:27]  It's like the weirdest thing because he understands it doesn't fit his body, right?
[00:02:31]  It's like cartoonishly long.
[00:02:34]  He doesn't look big.
[00:02:35]  You know what I mean?
[00:02:35]  He doesn't look like he has a big dick.
[00:02:37]  Here's the weird thing about it.
[00:02:38]  It's fat and wall.
[00:02:41]  This is common in the business.
[00:02:42]  A lot of performers like James Dean, when he was 18 and got in the business, he was just a dick on a stick, just like you are.
[00:02:48]  I'm Rock Jeremy.
[00:02:48]  And a stick on a stick.
[00:02:49]  And it's small.
[00:02:51]  Yeah.
[00:02:52]  Offensive colour.
[00:02:54]  I'm Indian Ron Jeremy.
[00:02:55]  Raj Jeremy.
[00:02:56]  Raj Jeremy.
[00:02:57]  Roger Jeremy.
[00:02:58]  That's the name of the episode.
[00:03:00]  Raj Jeremy.
[00:03:04]  Wow.
[00:03:04]  Okay, so did you know?
[00:03:05]  Okay, when you walk in the room, are you so, you know how like women have gay dar and like men have gay?
[00:03:11]  They could tell if someone's gay?
[00:03:12]  You have dick dar?
[00:03:13]  In some sense, yes.
[00:03:14]  So you could tell that he had a huge dick.
[00:03:16]  Sometimes I can tell that someone's going to disappoint me as well.
[00:03:19]  And I do not know that.
[00:03:20]  Whoa!
[00:03:20]  You are going to disappoint me.
[00:03:21]  Put your hand down.
[00:03:22]  No, stop it.
[00:03:24]  Stop being so damn bashful.
[00:03:25]  Akash has big dick energy, right?
[00:03:27]  100%.
[00:03:28]  100%.
[00:03:28]  How long have you been doing that?
[00:03:31]  I mean, who walks around the city in that cap and that shirt being fly?
[00:03:34]  He does.
[00:03:35]  And why does he do that?
[00:03:36]  Because he can.
[00:03:37]  Wow.
[00:03:38]  That's so funny.
[00:03:39]  I'll take it.
[00:03:42]  Take it.
[00:03:43]  I don't know why you're research project later.
[00:03:49]  Yeah.
[00:03:50]  We've never seen it hard or soft.
[00:03:52]  We just know.
[00:03:53]  We've heard rumors.
[00:03:54]  Photograph it, but I'll tell you.
[00:03:55]  That's the thing.
[00:03:56]  I've heard rumors.
[00:03:57]  I see that the big dick energy in the future.
[00:03:59]  Yeah, you just kind of swaffe, right?
[00:04:01]  Absolutely.
[00:04:02]  I've seen it.
[00:04:02]  I've seen that.
[00:04:03]  He's slinging that thing around.
[00:04:05]  Walking around.
[00:04:06]  Thank God he's wearing the fucking pants.
[00:04:08]  Dude, sometimes he'll wear shorts and like fall out.
[00:04:12]  It will fall out one of the shorts in the episode.
[00:04:15]  The black guys used to pull back shorts, yeah.
[00:04:17]  You know what he used to wear when he was in Hilli?
[00:04:19]  That's why I'm single.
[00:04:20]  Now I gotta go.
[00:04:21]  Let's see.
[00:04:22]  She's a little bit of a drink.
[00:04:22]  Nice.
[00:04:23]  Smart water down.
[00:04:24]  Shama.
[00:04:26]  They're never single either.
[00:04:27]  The dick in the stick is never single.
[00:04:29]  Never single.
[00:04:30]  The girlfriend always with them.
[00:04:32]  Yep.
[00:04:32]  They don't let him go.
[00:04:33]  And they don't talk about how good they are in bed because they don't want anybody else to do it.
[00:04:36]  They've been together for a while, too.
[00:04:38]  She will deal with them.
[00:04:40]  She knows what's going on.
[00:04:40]  Do girls do that?
[00:04:41]  Do girls, if they hear that a guy is good in bed, do they try to take it?
[00:04:45]  Of course.
[00:04:46]  Really?
[00:04:46]  Yeah.
[00:04:47]  So you think girls are going to be sliding into DMs because now they know how big and fat his fucking dick is.
[00:04:54]  Quite possibly.
[00:04:56]  That's my boy.
[00:04:58]  You heard about that?
[00:04:58]  That's my boy, big dick in the box.
[00:05:00]  No, bro.
[00:05:01]  We should make him a Tinder, fake Tinder.
[00:05:03]  We should make him a child.
[00:05:04]  And see what happens.
[00:05:12]  Yeah, we need to do a pop-up.
[00:05:15]  Oh, fuck.
[00:05:17]  It took Lisa to come here for us to realize how big Akasha's dick is.
[00:05:21]  Yep.
[00:05:22]  You just knew it.
[00:05:23]  She locked in so fast.
[00:05:25]  That was crazy.
[00:05:26]  Now I'm freaking him out.
[00:05:27]  Yeah, you can see.
[00:05:29]  Lisa!
[00:05:32]  Lisa's a bully, bro.
[00:05:34]  This is a bully, yo.
[00:05:36]  She's gonna want that dick.
[00:05:37]  Yo, what's up?
[00:05:38]  It's your boy Kaz.
[00:05:39]  Flagrant 2 Akash Singh here.
[00:05:41]  This is the best of Flagrant 2 episode.
[00:05:44]  Next clip we're gonna show you is from the first annual Flagrant 2 Jollof.
[00:05:50]  All right, now all my West Africans, everybody in Nigeria, Ghana, everybody knows Jolloff rice is an important dish in our customaries and everything like that.
[00:06:01]  So I don't know.
[00:06:04]  Our customs is that the word?
[00:06:07]  Is that the word, motherfucker?
[00:06:08]  I don't know.
[00:06:09]  Anyway, so I thought it would be really funny to have Andrew, Akash, and the whitest guy we know, Francis Ellis, eat some of the best Jolloff from around the countries and judge who has the best Jolloff rice.
[00:06:22]  Akash, you got something?
[00:06:23]  Nah, just a Ghana one Nigerian didn't come through like we thought they would.
[00:06:27]  Y'all probably busy scamming motherfuckers with free stuff on Craig's List, pretending you princes.
[00:06:32]  Here it is.
[00:06:33]  Joel Off.
[00:06:34]  Put it on to your boy.
[00:06:35]  Let's go.
[00:06:35]  Yeah.
[00:06:35]  My time.
[00:06:36]  My time.
[00:06:37]  Use Akash's spoon.
[00:06:38]  Let's go.
[00:06:40]  I use this one.
[00:06:41]  This one.
[00:06:43]  Yeah.
[00:06:43]  And are you supposed to put some of that black powder on it?
[00:06:47]  I'm not.
[00:06:49]  Maybe we should.
[00:06:50]  No, don't do that.
[00:06:51]  Don't do that for me.
[00:06:51]  Don't do that because it's very spicy.
[00:06:53]  Is it really spicy?
[00:06:54]  I can see.
[00:06:56]  Okay.
[00:06:56]  Ready?
[00:06:57]  Don't do that to me.
[00:06:59]  Ready?
[00:06:59]  Bye.
[00:07:00]  Ready?
[00:07:01]  Okay, so right now I'm about to do the first one.
[00:07:04]  Joe Loff challenge.
[00:07:06]  Francis, how is this culture?
[00:07:09]  I feel someone's very close to me.
[00:07:10]  Are you ready to feed me?
[00:07:11]  Okay, buddy.
[00:07:21]  How is it?
[00:07:24]  Oh, God, damn, right, bro.
[00:07:33]  Are you good, bro?
[00:07:34]  You need some milk?
[00:07:39]  Oh, God.
[00:07:41]  I can't stop salvaging.
[00:07:43]  What?
[00:07:44]  Take some water.
[00:07:45]  What did you guys put in it?
[00:07:47]  Is that just the regular one?
[00:07:48]  That's just regular.
[00:07:49]  There's no way that that was just regular.
[00:07:56]  Are you deadass?
[00:07:57]  No, dude, there's something.
[00:07:58]  It's coming out of my net.
[00:07:59]  No way.
[00:08:01]  I'm not gonna lie.
[00:08:01]  Am I bleeding?
[00:08:02]  There's no way.
[00:08:03]  Am I bleeding, dude?
[00:08:04]  No, you're fine.
[00:08:05]  You're fine.
[00:08:06]  It's called spice, bro.
[00:08:07]  Did you put something extra on it?
[00:08:09]  There's nothing else on it.
[00:08:10]  There was something wet about it.
[00:08:11]  There was nothing wet.
[00:08:11]  What are you talking about?
[00:08:12]  I'm not having this much trouble.
[00:08:13]  I'm going to have a lot of trouble.
[00:08:15]  And I just started being able to eat you.
[00:08:22]  Which one was that one?
[00:08:23]  Close your eyes.
[00:08:24]  We're getting the next one.
[00:08:25]  We're getting the next one.
[00:08:26]  Don't worry.
[00:08:27]  What's the number?
[00:08:27]  Give me one to ten.
[00:08:28]  I don't even know if I'm tasting anything.
[00:08:31]  I'm not even sure if I swallowed it, dude.
[00:08:33]  That's really intense.
[00:08:36]  My whole mouth is on fire right now, and my nose is bleeding.
[00:08:38]  I'm 100% sure my nose is bleeding.
[00:08:40]  No, no, you're good.
[00:08:41]  I'm not bleeding right now.
[00:08:42]  You're not bleeding, but you're fine.
[00:08:44]  Oh, my God.
[00:08:44]  Eddie, get me a tissue or something like that, dude.
[00:08:46]  I really think I. You're good.
[00:08:48]  You're good.
[00:08:48]  All right, go.
[00:08:49]  Hold on.
[00:08:50]  Let me cleanse my palate.
[00:08:52]  That was a good idea.
[00:08:52]  Good idea.
[00:08:53]  Oh, my God.
[00:08:54]  That one was really good.
[00:08:55]  I'd give that one definitely a 10.
[00:08:56]  A 10?
[00:08:57]  No, I couldn't taste it at all.
[00:08:58]  It was so hot.
[00:09:00]  No, but that one was really good.
[00:09:01]  I give that one a 8.
[00:09:03]  I give that one an 8.
[00:09:04]  8.
[00:09:04]  8 and a half.
[00:09:05]  That was so good.
[00:09:06]  8 and a half.
[00:09:08]  Okay, go.
[00:09:08]  All right, all right.
[00:09:09]  Here's number two.
[00:09:10]  Number two.
[00:09:11]  Okay.
[00:09:12]  Keep it wide open.
[00:09:13]  Wide open.
[00:09:15]  Come on, guys.
[00:09:15]  Come on.
[00:09:16]  There's a little meal.
[00:09:17]  Here's a little meal.
[00:09:17]  Straight on.
[00:09:18]  Okay.
[00:09:18]  Pause.
[00:09:19]  There's a big meal on it.
[00:09:20]  Open your mouth.
[00:09:22]  There you go.
[00:09:26]  Munch on it.
[00:09:26]  Munch on it.
[00:09:27]  Let it swirl around a little bit.
[00:09:30]  Let's swirl around.
[00:09:41]  Is this what you guys were eating?
[00:09:43]  Yes.
[00:09:44]  Sandy, you guys were eating the whole thing.
[00:09:45]  Same shit, bro.
[00:09:50]  I need water.
[00:09:52]  No, bro.
[00:09:53]  There's no way.
[00:09:59]  I'm definitely bleeding.
[00:10:01]  I'm definitely bleeding.
[00:10:03]  Jump up.
[00:10:06]  Is it blood or no?
[00:10:07]  I'm bleeding.
[00:10:08]  I feel like I'm bleeding.
[00:10:09]  There's no blood, bro.
[00:10:10]  Relax.
[00:10:11]  Oh, my God, dude.
[00:10:12]  It's in my neck.
[00:10:13]  I can feel it in my fucking neck, man.
[00:10:16]  What was that one?
[00:10:17]  What country was that from?
[00:10:19]  That was the one.
[00:10:19]  No, I guess.
[00:10:21]  Give it away.
[00:10:22]  Give it a round.
[00:10:29]  Oh, my God.
[00:10:30]  Give me some juice.
[00:10:31]  Give me some juice or something like that.
[00:10:34]  Give me some juice.
[00:10:34]  There's a coffee.
[00:10:35]  I'm going to eat the Sangrian.
[00:10:36]  Oh, my God.
[00:10:37]  Yeah, get in the San Grier.
[00:10:38]  Sang Grian, Sangria, Sangrian.
[00:10:44]  Just get it in the water.
[00:10:45]  Oh, my God.
[00:10:45]  Stay with me.
[00:10:46]  Peace of water, buddy.
[00:10:47]  I don't want to.
[00:10:48]  I fucking.
[00:10:50]  Oh, my God.
[00:10:52]  Have you never ate spicy food in your life, though?
[00:10:55]  Holy shit.
[00:10:55]  I can't feel my pinky, bro.
[00:10:57]  There's no way.
[00:10:58]  I can't feel my pinky, dude.
[00:11:01]  Is this what all white people go through?
[00:11:04]  There's no way.
[00:11:06]  There's no way.
[00:11:07]  Oh, my God, dude.
[00:11:08]  Please, God.
[00:11:09]  I don't even want to try the last one, dude.
[00:11:11]  You got to.
[00:11:12]  You got to, man.
[00:11:13]  You didn't know that it's spicy, son?
[00:11:15]  I heard the last one's fire.
[00:11:16]  Oh, that's one's not fire.
[00:11:19]  All right, let's go.
[00:11:21]  Let's get this third one.
[00:11:22]  I would really prefer not to do that.
[00:11:23]  All right, keep your eyes closed, all right?
[00:11:24]  Get the third one, okay?
[00:11:26]  Oh, my God.
[00:11:29]  Small bite, guys.
[00:11:30]  Small bite.
[00:11:31]  Okay.
[00:11:32]  Yeah, yeah.
[00:11:36]  You're good, you're good.
[00:11:36]  No, I just want to.
[00:11:41]  Here you go, bro.
[00:11:42]  Oh, God.
[00:11:43]  Just take it in.
[00:11:44]  Just take it in.
[00:11:44]  Take it in.
[00:11:44]  Take it in.
[00:11:46]  Come on, man.
[00:11:47]  You're good.
[00:11:48]  I gotta take my shirt.
[00:11:49]  I gotta take my jacket off.
[00:11:53]  Shut.
[00:11:54]  I'll take my jacket off, dude.
[00:11:58]  There's no way it's not hot, bro.
[00:11:59]  There's no way.
[00:12:02]  All right, keep your eyes wide open.
[00:12:04]  Where's the napkin just in case I have to throw it up?
[00:12:06]  This is right here.
[00:12:06]  Okay.
[00:12:07]  All right.
[00:12:08]  I don't like how close Akash is.
[00:12:11]  Cat's feeding you.
[00:12:12]  You're good.
[00:12:12]  Okay.
[00:12:13]  Here it comes.
[00:12:14]  Here he comes.
[00:12:14]  Here he comes.
[00:12:15]  Open up.
[00:12:16]  Open up.
[00:12:17]  Open up, motherfucker.
[00:12:18]  No, because I feel like you're putting extra.
[00:12:20]  Is this sriracha?
[00:12:20]  No, it's not sriracha.
[00:12:22]  Come on.
[00:12:22]  Open your mouth.
[00:12:23]  Hurry up.
[00:12:24]  Open your mouth, you pussy.
[00:12:25]  What the fuck?
[00:12:25]  Dude.
[00:12:30]  No, I felt that one going in.
[00:12:34]  I felt that one going in.
[00:12:37]  That was wet.
[00:12:38]  That was definitely a wet one.
[00:12:39]  That must have had something on it.
[00:12:42]  What were you guys doing?
[00:12:45]  Oh, you guys were poisoning me.
[00:12:46]  I see how it was.
[00:12:48]  That's the funny joke.
[00:12:49]  It's trying to murder your friend.
[00:12:51]  Is that the funny joke?
[00:12:53]  Hold on.
[00:12:53]  We can all try it.
[00:12:54]  I gotta try it, dog.
[00:12:55]  I gotta try it.
[00:12:57]  How much?
[00:12:58]  Is that how much you put it right there?
[00:12:59]  I gotta split the heck out of it.
[00:13:00]  That's the meat throat, bro.
[00:13:02]  The real talk.
[00:13:03]  That one was all.
[00:13:03]  That was all pepper.
[00:13:05]  But before that, it was like drops, dog.
[00:13:08]  Wait, Andrew, I need your reading.
[00:13:10]  Can I tell you something?
[00:13:11]  YPK, this is why you don't trust Nigerians.
[00:13:14]  No.
[00:13:15]  Your whole life you knew not to trust them, and this is why.
[00:13:18]  Okay?
[00:13:18]  This is why, because they're jealous that our Jolof is better.
[00:13:22]  They're jealous of us, okay?
[00:13:24]  I knew the which would just which I can't even talk.
[00:13:29]  I think my tongue is swollen.
[00:13:30]  That's it right there?
[00:13:31]  Yeah, I gotta try.
[00:13:32]  How much did you guys put?
[00:13:34]  The last one was OD.
[00:13:35]  But the first two?
[00:13:36]  I probably put this one.
[00:13:37]  The first two was just like a little split, like a little drop.
[00:13:40]  Little drop.
[00:13:41]  The first one was good.
[00:13:42]  I can do the first one.
[00:13:43]  The first one was fire.
[00:13:44]  But it just got more and more wet, and I was like, I don't think it's it.
[00:13:49]  All right, yeah, pass that real quick.
[00:13:52]  Okay.
[00:13:53]  Wait, hold on.
[00:13:54]  I actually need to know which one was which for him.
[00:13:56]  Well, mine doesn't count because I didn't get a real taste test.
[00:13:58]  Yes, he does.
[00:13:58]  No, I didn't.
[00:13:59]  All right, the last one was OD.
[00:14:00]  Last one was OD.
[00:14:01]  All right, let's have the real judge go.
[00:14:03]  Okay.
[00:14:04]  All right.
[00:14:04]  All right.
[00:14:05]  Can I just stick my spoon here?
[00:14:06]  I want to see what you're freaking out about.
[00:14:08]  Please.
[00:14:08]  I did the same thing.
[00:14:10]  So.
[00:14:10]  Because maybe I didn't get enough pepper on the last minute.
[00:14:12]  The last bed wouldn't help.
[00:14:13]  Right.
[00:14:15]  It's actually kind of hitting, to be honest with you.
[00:14:16]  Here we go.
[00:14:17]  This one should be hot.
[00:14:18]  Okay.
[00:14:18]  Right?
[00:14:18]  No, it's not.
[00:14:19]  Oh, this shit hit him.
[00:14:21]  No, I just tried the hot sauce.
[00:14:24]  Okay.
[00:14:24]  I'm telling you, it would be like, I'll just tell you right now.
[00:14:28]  Yeah.
[00:14:28]  Guys.
[00:14:29]  I guess it would be funny to do that whole gig again.
[00:14:32]  Yeah.
[00:14:32]  But it would probably be better for the podcast if we didn't do it to me.

=== The Joloff Challenge (04:33) ===

[00:14:38]  Why?
[00:14:39]  I'm just telling you.
[00:14:41]  I don't handle space.
[00:14:42]  You can't handle spiders.
[00:14:43]  I don't do it very well.
[00:14:44]  And maybe I'm saying it's not.
[00:14:45]  It's not bad, bro.
[00:14:46]  It's actually really good.
[00:14:47]  I just tried it.
[00:14:48]  Yo, that's going to do it.
[00:14:49]  Ready?
[00:14:49]  And start again.
[00:14:51]  Give them the real taste.
[00:14:52]  I don't trust you guys at all.
[00:14:53]  No, we won't fuck with you.
[00:14:54]  We won't fuck with you.
[00:14:55]  Guests.
[00:14:55]  You're a guest, bro.
[00:14:56]  Slap shoot is good.
[00:14:57]  Good as fuck.
[00:14:58]  Are you crazy, dog?
[00:14:59]  All right, all right.
[00:15:00]  All right, ready?
[00:15:00]  Yep.
[00:15:01]  Okay, we're going to do Joloff challenge.
[00:15:03]  Okay, okay.
[00:15:05]  Joel off challenge for Francis Ellis.
[00:15:08]  Okay?
[00:15:10]  Number one.
[00:15:13]  Hold on.
[00:15:14]  Swear to you, there's nothing on that.
[00:15:16]  No pepper on it.
[00:15:16]  Now, what you guys have to do is while I'm feeding him, you have to talk so that people listening at home are entertained.
[00:15:22]  So, you know, take tickets.
[00:15:23]  Kaz is still trying to eat.
[00:15:24]  I like that.
[00:15:25]  I'm sorry.
[00:15:25]  This shit is dumb good.
[00:15:27]  There's a lot of flavor in that.
[00:15:29]  Out of 10, what do you give it?
[00:15:30]  I like that.
[00:15:32]  Unfortunately, I can taste the fish.
[00:15:35]  Okay.
[00:15:35]  I know which one it is, but I'll just say I like that like seven and a half.
[00:15:44]  Seven to one.
[00:15:46]  Solid solid.
[00:15:47]  I like the exact measurement.
[00:15:49]  Andrew coming in with it.
[00:15:50]  Kazoo.
[00:15:51]  Cass and I have been eating this pepper this whole time, and honestly, we're fine.
[00:15:54]  Sincerely?
[00:15:56]  That one's a little sweeter.
[00:15:58]  Oh, interesting.
[00:15:59]  Got a little bit more of a saccharin type.
[00:16:03]  Saccharin?
[00:16:04]  Talking about Aspen or Stevie or whatever is going on?
[00:16:07]  Sure.
[00:16:08]  Yeah, sure, whatever.
[00:16:09]  Yeah.
[00:16:11]  I like that one a little more, I would say.
[00:16:13]  I'm going to go 8.2.
[00:16:18]  Oh, my God.
[00:16:20]  Not this guy.
[00:16:22]  Last one.
[00:16:23]  That's adorable.
[00:16:23]  This is really adorable.
[00:16:24]  It's like a diversity program they both entered.
[00:16:27]  It really is.
[00:16:29]  If I get all my white friends, that one's my favorite.
[00:16:31]  No.
[00:16:31]  Guys, keep in mind, the winner of this, before you decide, the winner of this, we are sponsoring a well.
[00:16:38]  No, I'm sure.
[00:16:43]  Just kidding.
[00:16:46]  Okay.
[00:16:47]  Never mind.
[00:16:48]  I'm going to make it even worse.
[00:16:50]  Okay, now, now, it's up to you right now.
[00:16:53]  You've tried.
[00:16:54]  What is the last one was the best.
[00:16:58]  And I'm a little biased because that one was still pretty warm.
[00:17:00]  Right.
[00:17:02]  And I think that that definitely helped it.
[00:17:04]  But the last one I really liked a lot, I would say like I'm going to go as high as like a nine.
[00:17:10]  Ooh.
[00:17:10]  CPK Cooks, my Ghana sister.
[00:17:14]  YPK Cooks.
[00:17:15]  My Ghana's sister.
[00:17:16]  Let's go.
[00:17:17]  Is that one?
[00:17:18]  That's the one.
[00:17:18]  That was that one.
[00:17:19]  Unanimous.
[00:17:20]  That one was good.
[00:17:21]  Now, YPK, what's your name?
[00:17:24]  Oh, that's the whole name?
[00:17:25]  It's your Russian.
[00:17:26]  Just the letter?
[00:17:27]  Okay, say it again.
[00:17:29]  Ya Pinamai Kwartin.
[00:17:31]  Ya Pinamai Kwartin.
[00:17:32]  Oh, yeah.
[00:17:33]  Okay.
[00:17:34]  That very common name, by the way.
[00:17:37]  So now here's the thing, right?
[00:17:38]  So here's the thing.
[00:17:40]  YPK.
[00:17:41]  I'm like sweating, bro.
[00:17:42]  Since you won.
[00:17:43]  Since sweat.
[00:17:44]  Okay.
[00:17:45]  What we have to do now as a podcast, this is what the real winner does.
[00:17:50]  We have to learn a Ghanin dance.
[00:17:55]  Okay.
[00:17:55]  Yes.
[00:17:56]  Do you know any Ghanin dances?
[00:17:58]  Of course.
[00:17:58]  Okay.
[00:17:58]  Now, we're not going to do it on this episode because I want us to get it down and we're going to really get the choreography with it.
[00:18:04]  And it's going to go down so you can be the one that teaches us if you like.
[00:18:07]  Okay.
[00:18:08]  YPK Cooks.
[00:18:10]  Thank you so much.
[00:18:11]  Chef Prosper to God.
[00:18:12]  Thank you so much.
[00:18:13]  Mama Kaz.
[00:18:14]  Mama Kaz.
[00:18:15]  Thank you so much.
[00:18:16]  And one more time, shouts to Ghana, yo.
[00:18:18]  Shouts to Ghana, my people.
[00:18:21]  I'm a fair man, yo.
[00:18:22]  Ghana, the Ghana Joff was hitting the hardest today, bro.
[00:18:26]  Champion of the 2019 Joe Loff off Ghana.
[00:18:30]  We'll see what happens next year.
[00:18:33]  All right.
[00:18:33]  Y'all might have a choice.
[00:18:34]  Now, what we're not going to do is...
[00:18:36]  Cass's people, as always.
[00:18:38]  So you ain't sweating somebody.
[00:18:40]  Pussy, bro.
[00:18:42]  Pussy-ass Indian song about not gonna make me sweat.
[00:18:45]  You are dripping sweat.
[00:18:46]  I sweat.
[00:18:46]  Yeah, what's wrong with you?
[00:18:53]  By the way, that's the song of Ghanaian one.
[00:18:56]  Oh, this is what is it?
[00:18:58]  The center of the press.
[00:18:59]  Oh, the restrictions.
[00:19:00]  Did they make you pay for it?
[00:19:01]  Yes.
[00:19:01]  So they're not getting a plug.
[00:19:04]  Big back.
[00:19:05]  Yo, this next clip, I am shocked.
[00:19:08]  This was a free episode.
[00:19:09]  It's one of the wildest moments we've ever had.

=== Chris DeStefano's Shocking Story (13:31) ===

[00:19:11]  It was Chris DeStefano sitting across from us telling a story of how he got legit raped.
[00:19:17]  Like legit mouth rape, at least.
[00:19:21]  Not even at least.
[00:19:22]  It is brief.
[00:19:22]  It was very brief, but it had to be traumatizing.
[00:19:25]  You could see him kind of squirming.
[00:19:27]  But it was one of the funniest, wildest moments we've had all year.
[00:19:32]  Yeah, Chrissy, go talk to somebody professionally because I'm pretty sure that's a traumatizing experience for anyone to go through.
[00:19:41]  But we're all going to laugh at it anyway.
[00:19:43]  So here it is.
[00:19:45]  Chris told the craziest story today.
[00:19:47]  I did the History Hyenas podcast.
[00:19:49]  Right.
[00:19:49]  Whereas Chris says, hyenas podcast.
[00:19:51]  Put an extra H in it.
[00:19:52]  And, dude, can you tell the story?
[00:19:55]  Which one?
[00:19:55]  The one where your friend fucked your mouth.
[00:19:57]  Oh, my God.
[00:19:58]  What?
[00:19:59]  Yeah, dude.
[00:19:59]  Yeah, dude.
[00:20:01]  Yeah.
[00:20:02]  I know.
[00:20:03]  Your fans are like, yo, pause.
[00:20:07]  Fast forward.
[00:20:08]  We don't pause.
[00:20:11]  They don't pause.
[00:20:12]  I pause up a little bit.
[00:20:13]  Yeah, dude.
[00:20:14]  I was like 13 years old and I was like the runt of like my friend like the young one, you know.
[00:20:19]  And yeah, dude, we were just all hanging out and my everybody used to hang out at my house.
[00:20:23]  My mom was working or whatever.
[00:20:24]  And then you just abuse me, you know, push my hair conditioner out the window, shit in my sink, you know, whatever.
[00:20:28]  You know, like, none of this is normal.
[00:20:31]  So he's saying it very like it's a list.
[00:20:34]  Like my favorite thing about him.
[00:20:36]  If he's going to say some wild shit, he starts it with you know.
[00:20:41]  You know, they just fuck your mouth.
[00:20:42]  You know, like you're like, like making an omelet.
[00:20:44]  Yeah.
[00:20:46]  Oh, Jesus.
[00:20:47]  Yeah.
[00:20:47]  They put him outside the house naked in his mother's heels.
[00:20:50]  No, one time they ordered Chinese food.
[00:20:52]  They ordered Chinese food and they were like, they were like, yo, we dare you to go downstairs butt naked with your mother's high heels and a New York Giants football helmet on that I had.
[00:20:59]  And they were like, we dare you to go downstairs and just get the food from the Chinese delivery guy.
[00:21:03]  It'll be hilarious.
[00:21:04]  So they all follow me down.
[00:21:05]  It's like four of them.
[00:21:06]  I go to open, I open the door thinking like that's a joke and they're all going to just be laughing.
[00:21:09]  And it's really about the shock of the Chinese delivery guy's face.
[00:21:12]  One of my friends pushes me outside down my stairs onto the sidewalk.
[00:21:19]  My dick was bleeding.
[00:21:21]  Like my dick got rubbed on concrete.
[00:21:24]  So I had like ball, you know, like a rug burn on my ball sack.
[00:21:28]  And then I got, they kept me at like locked me outside my own home, butt naked with my mother's high heels on in broad daylight for like five minutes.
[00:21:35]  No, it was 1990.
[00:21:37]  Did you just start eating it?
[00:21:38]  With the Chinese guy.
[00:21:38]  No, he like ran away, you know, like he didn't know what to do.
[00:21:42]  So, and then, yeah, and then one time I was sitting on the toilet taking a shit, and one of them just came with the two brothers came in, and one of them skull fucked me.
[00:21:50]  But listen, yeah, this is how you told me the story.
[00:21:53]  That sounds like you skipped mad stuff.
[00:21:55]  Mad stuff.
[00:21:57]  This is how he tells his stories, right?
[00:21:59]  He goes, he goes, he goes, yeah.
[00:22:00]  Yeah, so I'm just sitting on the toilet shitting, and then the two brothers come in.
[00:22:03]  One of them grabs my feet, holds them on the ground, and the other just starts skull fucking me.
[00:22:07]  And then there's a pause.
[00:22:08]  I'm like, what'd you do with your hands?
[00:22:11]  He goes, I don't know.
[00:22:14]  I was like, I don't think you got skullfucked.
[00:22:16]  I think you sucked your freaking chest.
[00:22:18]  Listen, it's what it is.
[00:22:19]  It happens.
[00:22:20]  They didn't force your mouth open.
[00:22:23]  No, but.
[00:22:24]  It's like the only reason he kept his feet on the ground is because he was so excited.
[00:22:27]  He was just going to crazy.
[00:22:30]  It's not jerking him off his feet.
[00:22:32]  I was going to say, yeah, I fucking started caressing his balls.
[00:22:34]  That's what I did with the hands.
[00:22:35]  You're using your other hands on the other guy.
[00:22:38]  I thought it was a Bukaki.
[00:22:40]  That's funny.
[00:22:41]  Yeah, so I fucking.
[00:22:42]  For real talk, have you ever gone back and thought about like, why did I just let you know?
[00:22:46]  Bro, I tried to get him to call him on the podcast.
[00:22:48]  Yeah, I know, I can't.
[00:22:48]  But he wouldn't call me.
[00:22:49]  Did you still talk to these people?
[00:22:50]  Yeah, I just got to one of the guys.
[00:22:52]  I just went to his wedding.
[00:22:56]  Did you have any objections?
[00:23:01]  Yeah.
[00:23:02]  I don't know, dude.
[00:23:03]  It's growing up.
[00:23:03]  It was fucking weird.
[00:23:04]  I was trying to hear that wedding speech.
[00:23:05]  Yeah.
[00:23:06]  Hey, Suzanne, one hell of a skull fuck.
[00:23:08]  Oh, God.
[00:23:09]  They're fucking bitter alcoholics, dirtbags, never left the neighborhood, like just pure shit.
[00:23:13]  But you know what?
[00:23:14]  That's what I think you would be as the guy who got skull fucking.
[00:23:17]  But no, but it's interesting how you could make a skull fuck into a positive because I think what happened was, what I think happened was, is all that abuse that I took subconsciously internally motivated me to blow past them in everything.
[00:23:30]  Sports, academics, career, leave the neighborhood, all that stuff.
[00:23:34]  But if I'm being honest and honest with you, I couldn't really, I couldn't suck on a lollipop for a few years.
[00:23:41]  Was it because you were too busy sucking on dicks?
[00:23:43]  Exactly.
[00:23:44]  It just, you know, anytime somebody like you want to blow pop with that guy, it brings up bad memories.
[00:23:48]  Is there ever like a 40th thing where you would take a shit and does he need to suck a dick?
[00:23:52]  I'm sticking my mother's shampoo bottles in my mouth.
[00:23:56]  Something's missing right now.
[00:23:58]  Yeah, bro.
[00:23:59]  It was a wild thing.
[00:24:00]  But I don't regret it because I feel like without it, I wouldn't be the man I am today.
[00:24:03]  You definitely would have.
[00:24:05]  I wouldn't have.
[00:24:06]  Absolutely.
[00:24:07]  Listen, I'll tell you from first-hand experience.
[00:24:08]  You know, Dick, it wasn't at best.
[00:24:10]  It wasn't great.
[00:24:11]  I don't want to actively suck dicks, but you know what I mean?
[00:24:13]  How long was the dick in your mouth?
[00:24:16]  How many pumps?
[00:24:17]  I want to.
[00:24:18]  I think I blacked out a little bit, but I want to say three pumps, but I did black out.
[00:24:25]  Drama, you know.
[00:24:27]  Did you just take it in silence or did you have like a little like?
[00:24:32]  I took it in silence with gargling noises.
[00:24:36]  And the kid had a full wood.
[00:24:37]  It was a whole wood.
[00:24:42]  I asked him if it was hard.
[00:24:43]  He was like, I don't really remember.
[00:24:44]  I was like, you can't get soft dicks.
[00:24:45]  Yeah, no, Matt.
[00:24:46]  On the drive over here, the thoughts start to come in again.
[00:24:50]  He had a full wood with his full wood.
[00:24:53]  With his brother.
[00:24:53]  Yeah, they were weird fucking kids.
[00:24:55]  The two of them are weird kids.
[00:24:56]  They used to slap each other's dicks together.
[00:24:58]  It was weird.
[00:24:59]  Where'd you go?
[00:25:00]  Like Ridgewood-Bushwick area.
[00:25:01]  Yeah.
[00:25:02]  Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[00:25:02]  Hood.
[00:25:04]  It's like the white kind of.
[00:25:06]  It's border.
[00:25:07]  Border, like there's it was mostly Puerto Rican, but like Puerto Rican, it's not really hood.
[00:25:12]  I mean, they're hood, but it's like.
[00:25:13]  I heard Bushwick back in the day was wild.
[00:25:15]  It was.
[00:25:16]  It was.
[00:25:16]  But where I was was kind of like border, like how it says border.
[00:25:21]  You know, it wasn't like full fucking.
[00:25:22]  I didn't come out of the ghetto, but I didn't come from a good neighborhood.
[00:25:25]  That wasn't like obviously.
[00:25:27]  It wasn't burbs.
[00:25:28]  Yeah, yeah.
[00:25:28]  It's not the birds, you know?
[00:25:31]  I was like, but seriously, what were you doing with Tans?
[00:25:32]  He goes, he goes, I was holding my dick down with one of them so they didn't see my dick.
[00:25:36]  And I was like, that was a priority.
[00:25:37]  Yeah.
[00:25:38]  I was like, remember thinking, like, I don't want my dick to pop out because I was taking a shit, but I mean, one of the other guys' dick in my mouth.
[00:25:44]  But that quick one-second decision making, like, okay, what would be worse if I saw my dick or I had my dick in my mouth?
[00:25:51]  I'm trying to understand.
[00:25:51]  No, I was a young, I was like the, like, I was getting abused.
[00:25:55]  You didn't know what skull fucking was.
[00:25:56]  Yeah, I just was getting, I was like, yeah, growing up like a, you know, an Irish Italian Catholic, I just thought this was an initiation.
[00:26:02]  This is like, you know, yo, you know, what's been nice in 2019 is I'm not the only one in a relationship anymore.
[00:26:09]  So we all get to complain and we all get uncomfortable at the same time.
[00:26:13]  But Schultz still came in one episode and he said, we're not doing flagrant thoughts.
[00:26:17]  Today I want you to talk about the dumbest thing your girlfriend has ever said.
[00:26:21]  And I don't remember what mine was with my girl, to be honest, but I remember Schultz's, and I remember being like, oh, she was wild on this one.
[00:26:28]  Kaz, were you here for this episode?
[00:26:29]  I wasn't here for this episode, and thank God because we have plenty enough episodes for me to go home and my girl to be pissed off at me about.
[00:26:37]  So it was nice to take a week off.
[00:26:39]  So check this out right now.
[00:26:43]  Sorry for the awkward pause when I said that.
[00:26:45]  I want to start the episode off.
[00:26:48]  I want to go right.
[00:26:49]  We got to go right into it.
[00:26:50]  We got to get right into it.
[00:26:52]  I notified you guys before this episode.
[00:26:55]  Okay.
[00:26:56]  Instead of Flagrant Thought of the Week, because this is fresh on my mind.
[00:27:04]  Oh, I like it.
[00:27:06]  Fresh on my mind.
[00:27:08]  I want to know the most annoying thing that your girl has ever said to you.
[00:27:13]  This can be your current girl, a past girl, it doesn't matter.
[00:27:16]  But the most annoying thing that your girl has ever said to you.
[00:27:19]  Okay?
[00:27:20]  That's what I want to start the episode off with.
[00:27:23]  I have one that's fresh on my mind.
[00:27:25]  It's very fresh on my mind.
[00:27:26]  The most annoying thing that my girl has ever said to me was, this morning, okay?
[00:27:36]  She, I'm sleeping.
[00:27:38]  She goes like this.
[00:27:39]  She goes, she goes, babe, wake up.
[00:27:42]  Wake up and help me sleep.
[00:27:48]  Bro?
[00:27:50]  I'm in shock.
[00:27:52]  Bro, I woke up and I thought I was still dreaming or something.
[00:27:56]  I was like, what'd you say?
[00:27:57]  She's like, I can't sleep.
[00:27:58]  Just wake up and help me sleep.
[00:28:00]  Listen, I would never hit.
[00:28:02]  Look, I would never, I mean this, I would never hit a woman.
[00:28:06]  I would never hit a woman.
[00:28:07]  But I almost threw her out the window.
[00:28:10]  Do you know how like crippled people are carried?
[00:28:12]  Do you know like when you scoop up, you know what I mean?
[00:28:14]  Or like, you know, like a dead body or something like that, right?
[00:28:18]  I literally almost, because my windows slide, but they slide pretty far.
[00:28:22]  And I almost, I almost thought about sliding the window and then just picking her, scooping her up like that, and then just dumping her out the window like that and then going back to sleep.
[00:28:32]  I don't understand how they don't appreciate that we need to sleep to keep buying their shit.
[00:28:40]  You know what I mean?
[00:28:40]  Like, I got to work.
[00:28:42]  I got to get up and work hard so I can buy the stupid shit you want.
[00:28:46]  Son, it's just shocking.
[00:28:48]  Dude, what goes through your head?
[00:28:50]  Like the moment, like you're restless, you can't sleep, and then you look at your boyfriend and you're like, God, he's sleeping so well.
[00:28:57]  He looks too happy.
[00:28:59]  They don't like that you're that happy without them causing the happiness.
[00:29:02]  Dude, wake up and help me sleep.
[00:29:08]  That's a wild.
[00:29:09]  That's a wild bed.
[00:29:11]  It's almost so absurd that it's hilarious.
[00:29:14]  It is hilarious.
[00:29:15]  It is hilarious.
[00:29:16]  Like, if she wasn't 100% serious, like, if she didn't 100% believe that I should wake up and help her sleep, then it would be the best prank in the entire world.
[00:29:31]  I got a question.
[00:29:31]  Okay, go.
[00:29:32]  Have you ever like accidentally kicked them out of the bed?
[00:29:37]  I have to just imply.
[00:29:39]  Accidentally.
[00:29:40]  Kick them out of the bed.
[00:29:42]  Okay, listen.
[00:29:42]  My apartment isn't big enough where like there's not bed on both sides, right?
[00:29:47]  It's just, there's one side, it's a wall.
[00:29:49]  And the other side, it's going to bounce it to the wall and bounce back.
[00:29:52]  Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly.
[00:29:53]  So I'm kicking up her against the wall.
[00:29:55]  Now, I would absolutely not let her sleep on the side with no wall.
[00:30:01]  Like, that's not happening at all.
[00:30:04]  Because I'll tell you why.
[00:30:05]  Because I need to be able to move away from her as much as I can.
[00:30:12]  And that includes having one of my knees jackknife and bent off the bed.
[00:30:17]  Like the greater than.
[00:30:19]  It's a greater than sign off the bed.
[00:30:21]  Like, that's how far I'll roll away.
[00:30:22]  Half your body's running away from her.
[00:30:24]  Half my body's running away.
[00:30:25]  Now, listen, listen, listen, listen.
[00:30:26]  Dude, no, I Heisman, I Heisman, not her.
[00:30:29]  I Heisman the air.
[00:30:30]  Like I'm trying to.
[00:30:31]  So basically what we do is we start the cuddle with her face against the wall.
[00:30:36]  Like her nose is touching the wall.
[00:30:38]  Because I know, I know 100%.
[00:30:42]  I know 100% that as I roll away, she'll come closer and we'll move this way and we'll move this way until my knee is hanging off the bed.
[00:30:51]  And then we just have to typewriter it back to the wall, right?
[00:30:54]  So it's just for everyone that's young listening right now, a typewriter is a device that existed before a computer that men would tell women to write things on when they had ideas they wanted to remember.
[00:31:15]  Trudy, can you write this down?
[00:31:20]  Okay, that was mine for this morning.
[00:31:22]  I mean, I couldn't believe it.
[00:31:24]  I couldn't believe it.
[00:31:25]  That's insane.
[00:31:25]  Why do you think I have a king-size bed?
[00:31:27]  Bro, I get it.
[00:31:29]  I get it.
[00:31:31]  I am literally getting a king-size bed for this reason.
[00:31:33]  And I got this 4'11.
[00:31:35]  You gotta get it.
[00:31:35]  This guy don't need a king-size bed.
[00:31:36]  And my girl 4'5.
[00:31:38]  They could easily fit on the twin, but he wants to be have so much separation.
[00:31:43]  And you got to get the memory foam joints, the ones that like.
[00:31:46]  If she sinks into it, dude, that's weird.
[00:31:48]  So, like, if she's jumping or moving, you don't feel shit on your side.
[00:31:51]  Oh, my God.
[00:31:51]  Nothing.
[00:31:53]  She and I will sleep, cuddle for like 20 minutes, and then when it's sleep, sleep.
[00:31:56]  That's absurd.
[00:31:57]  There you go.
[00:31:58]  You scoot over, and then she don't notice.
[00:32:00]  20 minutes?
[00:32:00]  That's two snoozes.
[00:32:02]  Wouldn't you rather have two snoozes in the morning by yourself?
[00:32:05]  Listen, if I'm not tired, let's cuddle.
[00:32:07]  It's great.
[00:32:07]  But when I'm tired, that's enough.
[00:32:09]  Go.
[00:32:09]  Why would you get in bed if you're not tired?
[00:32:11]  I'm on my phone at first.
[00:32:12]  I'm reading or whatever before all that.
[00:32:14]  You know what I mean?
[00:32:15]  Dude, we need a verb.
[00:32:16]  We need a verb to describe the action of a girl watching you on your phone and pretend like she's not infuriated that you're fucking.
[00:32:29]  That's my favorite lie.
[00:32:30]  Let's get it out.
[00:32:32]  That's my favorite lie that they tell me.
[00:32:35]  That's my favorite lie.
[00:32:36]  My favorite lie that they tell, you know, like, you know how I know that she's pissed off is she don't let me save her from oncoming traffic.

=== Cheating on Your Phone (05:55) ===

[00:32:43]  Like, we have a cool, we have a cool, like, little cutesy.
[00:32:46]  You know, your cute little cutesy relationship.
[00:32:48]  You guys, your girl, like, like, you're both, like, a little bit in the street, and some cars are coming.
[00:32:52]  Hey, you know, this bitch ain't gonna get hit by some cars, but you're like, hey, babe, bat, babe, bat, baby, back on the sidewalk.
[00:32:57]  That's the move, man.
[00:32:58]  Let me protect you from sipping shit that ain't gonna even hurt you, but I want you to think that I'll protect you in the event that some bad shit will happen, right?
[00:33:05]  So it's like, like, but there's something about me looking at my phone and like a hole being burned into my fucking ear.
[00:33:14]  It's like, you know, I can feel it going into my ear and like on this whole side of my, you know, Too-Face?
[00:33:21]  Yeah.
[00:33:21]  Remember Too-Face from Batman?
[00:33:23]  Carvey Dent?
[00:33:24]  You know how one side of his shit is okay?
[00:33:25]  The other side is just his girl looking at him.
[00:33:27]  That has nothing to do with Batman.
[00:33:28]  It's just his girl like, you gonna get off the phone?
[00:33:31]  Why are you always trying to save Gotham?
[00:33:33]  Why you need to save?
[00:33:34]  What you need to do is save this relationship.
[00:33:36]  That's what you're needing to do.
[00:33:39]  Relationship Schultz is the shit.
[00:33:41]  I love that relationship.
[00:33:42]  Relationship Schultz, bro.
[00:33:46]  Son, because I watched Harry Potter the play yesterday, bro.
[00:33:50]  You went to the fucking play?
[00:33:51]  Son?
[00:33:51]  That shit was dope.
[00:33:52]  I liked it.
[00:33:53]  The play?
[00:33:53]  You saw it?
[00:33:54]  Yeah.
[00:33:54]  Now, you know, it's two.
[00:33:55]  I'm early on that shit.
[00:33:56]  Yeah, I did the same day joint.
[00:33:58]  Son, I did this.
[00:33:59]  I'm not even that big a Potter fan.
[00:34:00]  Yeah.
[00:34:01]  It's two plays in the same day.
[00:34:03]  Each plays.
[00:34:04]  That's a lot of Potter, bro.
[00:34:05]  That's a lot of Potter.
[00:34:07]  I'm a big Potter guy, so it's like, I enjoyed it.
[00:34:10]  Is it what?
[00:34:11]  Is it called Harry Potter?
[00:34:13]  Okay, it's actually really smart.
[00:34:15]  It's the kids.
[00:34:16]  Yeah, so basically, Harry Potter's kids and Hermione's kids and Ron's kids, they all go to the school, but they get into hijinks all together.
[00:34:23]  So they're all mad hijinks.
[00:34:25]  Mad hijinks, bro.
[00:34:27]  It's so much hijinks, bro.
[00:34:29]  Son.
[00:34:32]  Anyway, JK Rowland must have been one lonely bitch as a kid because all these fucking, all these fucking Harry Potters are about having no friends and shit.
[00:34:42]  And like, we're all talk, bro.
[00:34:45]  How lonely was this bitch?
[00:34:47]  Yo.
[00:34:48]  And you know what's funny?
[00:34:49]  Now she's the only female billionaire.
[00:34:52]  This bitch right back to law.
[00:34:56]  And I don't want to marry no billionaire bitches.
[00:34:58]  You just right back to zero.
[00:35:01]  Shit.
[00:35:02]  You know what I'm saying?
[00:35:04]  You need to marry some guy so we can hocus, pocus, make half of that shit disappear.
[00:35:08]  Abrakadabra broke, bitch.
[00:35:13]  Abraka broke, bitch.
[00:35:16]  All right, that's my craziest thing.
[00:35:18]  Go, Akash.
[00:35:19]  There's too many.
[00:35:20]  So the one that pops up is my girl one time said to me, you never take me to Applebee's.
[00:35:28]  What?
[00:35:30]  I looked at this bitch like, are you out of your fucking mind?
[00:35:33]  You're welcome.
[00:35:34]  Yeah, no.
[00:35:36]  I'm sorry.
[00:35:37]  I just took you to Italy.
[00:35:38]  I'm sorry.
[00:35:39]  Was that not Italy?
[00:35:41]  Yo, motherfucking boot ass Italy.
[00:35:44]  The country.
[00:35:45]  Yeah.
[00:35:45]  That's yo.
[00:35:47]  I couldn't believe it.
[00:35:48]  I looked at her like, are you out of your fucking preceded?
[00:35:50]  What kind of commercial did she just see?
[00:35:53]  Yo, Applebee's kudos or whatever you put it out there.
[00:35:56]  That's how much Indians love to save money.
[00:36:01]  She's mad that she hasn't done that two for 20, son.
[00:36:06]  Double, doubles, doubles, doubles, doubles, two for 20, doubles, doubles.
[00:36:11]  Doubles, doubles, two for 20.
[00:36:15]  Doubles, double.
[00:36:16]  Bro, yo, Dumbledore is just some Indian talking when you, bro.
[00:36:27]  So what'd you say to her?
[00:36:28]  Did you take her to Applebee?
[00:36:31]  What was she upset about to say?
[00:36:33]  I don't know.
[00:36:34]  I didn't understand.
[00:36:35]  This is like when we first started dating, so I didn't understand that, like, women just have all these emotions.
[00:36:39]  They don't know what to do with them, so they just get mad at you every 20 minutes.
[00:36:42]  So much emotion.
[00:36:43]  It's just too much.
[00:36:43]  It just builds up and they just find something.
[00:36:45]  But I just looked at her like, are you fucking.
[00:36:47]  I think I just laughed.
[00:36:48]  Like, that's how I know I'm an A-plus-ass boyfriend.
[00:36:50]  Yeah.
[00:36:51]  That this is what you're reaching at.
[00:36:52]  Is I never took you to fucking Applebee's.
[00:36:55]  Yo, she was reaching for strings or whatever that was that?
[00:36:57]  Straws.
[00:36:58]  Straws.
[00:36:59]  Yeah, yeah, you had nothing, son.
[00:37:00]  Bro.
[00:37:01]  So I just laughed at her, but I was like, you know how great a boyfriend you got to be where she's going through her rolled decks of shit that you fucked up with?
[00:37:08]  Yo, you never take me on vacation.
[00:37:10]  Nah, he did that.
[00:37:11]  You never say you love it?
[00:37:12]  Nah, he did that.
[00:37:13]  Yeah, I'll be doing that.
[00:37:14]  You never visit my family.
[00:37:15]  Nah, he did that.
[00:37:15]  I'll be doing that.
[00:37:17]  Applebee.
[00:37:18]  Shout out to you.
[00:37:18]  You're good.
[00:37:19]  Yo, bro.
[00:37:20]  Well, now she's.
[00:37:21]  Well, but then the point is, is like, it's like, if you know she's going to complain no matter what, you might as well not take her to all that stuff so that you could agree with the complaint.
[00:37:32]  Right?
[00:37:32]  There is a little bit of you.
[00:37:33]  You can be like, yeah, you're right, boo.
[00:37:35]  I haven't done that enough.
[00:37:36]  I haven't taken you to Italy.
[00:37:38]  I got to work on that.
[00:37:39]  Yo, I kind of work on that, babe.
[00:37:41]  I do spend too much time at work.
[00:37:44]  I do all be on the road all the time.
[00:37:46]  You're right.
[00:37:48]  Don't you want to agree with your girl's complaints?
[00:37:50]  Like, that's the most annoying thing.
[00:37:52]  Like, when they think that you're cheating, it's like, well, shit, let me be cheating.
[00:37:56]  You know what I mean?
[00:37:57]  Like, well, I'm dealing with it.
[00:37:59]  I'm dealing with all the grievances and shit with cheating.
[00:38:02]  You might as well cheat at that point.
[00:38:04]  That's the worst.
[00:38:04]  When you're actually good and then they still think you're cheating.
[00:38:07]  I'm like, God damn, do you know how hard it is being good?
[00:38:11]  God damn.
[00:38:12]  You know how hard it is?
[00:38:13]  It's like, when you cheat, at least you're like, you smart ass bitch.
[00:38:24]  You smart ass detective ass bitch.
[00:38:27]  You look at you being all smut and turkey out here.
[00:38:31]  I see you, Hermione.
[00:38:33]  I see you coming together with the conclusions.

=== When You Think They're Cheating (04:55) ===

[00:38:39]  Look at you.
[00:38:40]  We played a little game of guess who, and you don't guess right, right?
[00:38:46]  You know what I mean?
[00:38:48]  It was Andrew on the road with the waitress.
[00:38:53]  Our boy Shane Gillis was, you know, unceremoniously let go from Saturday Night Live for saying some shit on the podcast.
[00:39:01]  And we can relate, sort of, because we say shit on podcasts all the time.
[00:39:05]  But before he came on the show, Andrew and Akash talked about Asians and shows.
[00:39:14]  We just got to talk about Asians.
[00:39:15]  Well, I guess kind of, but we just did the neuters bit, but we took it further.
[00:39:19]  We said, hey, Shane had a funny idea.
[00:39:20]  I think we could have made it funnier.
[00:39:22]  And I think we did.
[00:39:23]  So this next clip, Saturday Night Rive.
[00:39:26]  Check it out.
[00:39:27]  I really am starting to believe there's not one position that's worth having an ego.
[00:39:32]  I heard a quote that on some radio show.
[00:39:35]  Somebody was saying a football player told him, you can have, like, for every one bad apple in a locker room, you need about 20 to 30 good ones to keep him in line.
[00:39:44]  And that's how you control that guy.
[00:39:46]  And that's kind of how probably the Patriots can get away with having like NAB if they get away with it or Randy Moss for a few years.
[00:39:52]  Cause it's like, look, we got enough people that are like, this is how we do it that we can keep you in line.
[00:39:58]  And at the end of the day, people want to fit in.
[00:40:00]  Yeah.
[00:40:01]  And then they can just kind of bully you and be like, or if you're still going to be all right, now we can just get rid of you.
[00:40:05]  There's a natural instinct to fit in.
[00:40:07]  There's a culture that's a culture of the system.
[00:40:09]  Everybody fits in.
[00:40:10]  And when you go to different countries, you at first you act as, you know, if you're in your own country.
[00:40:16]  And then once you learn the customs of the new one, you start to adjust.
[00:40:19]  Yeah.
[00:40:20]  When I was in Japan, I started to adjust a little bit.
[00:40:22]  I wasn't as affectionate in public because they don't really play that shit.
[00:40:25]  Right.
[00:40:26]  And it gets in your head.
[00:40:26]  You become a little insecure.
[00:40:28]  I heard you're supposed to slurp when you eat your neuters.
[00:40:33]  As a sign of respect.
[00:40:36]  As a sign of respect that I appreciate what the chef is doing.
[00:40:43]  Wow.
[00:40:45]  Bro.
[00:40:47]  You know what's crazy is that right now everybody's going to be so sensitive about this shit.
[00:40:51]  And it's really bullshit because every week we're making fun of Indian accent, Asian accent, white accent, black accent.
[00:40:59]  Like every week we do it.
[00:41:00]  But now there's like a heightened sensitivity about it.
[00:41:05]  It's fucking Burger.
[00:41:14]  I'm sick, so I'm not going to give you five, but that's good.
[00:41:16]  Bro.
[00:41:19]  Bro.
[00:41:20]  It's fucking Berger.
[00:41:27]  I almost fell, man.
[00:41:29]  Yo.
[00:41:30]  No, I'm being dead serious.
[00:41:32]  This shit is not cool.
[00:41:34]  It's not fucking cool.
[00:41:37]  Like two weeks ago.
[00:41:38]  Dabo, dabble, dabble.
[00:41:40]  Yeah.
[00:41:40]  Not a big deal.
[00:41:42]  Now, if we said neuter, oh, come on, yo, you see how easily people are manipulated to thinking something's wrong?
[00:41:52]  Man, it's just a dabble, dabble, neuter.
[00:41:55]  Neuter.
[00:41:56]  You can't help it, man.
[00:41:56]  This is outrageous cartridge.
[00:41:58]  You just got to.
[00:42:03]  What are you going to do?
[00:42:04]  You know?
[00:42:05]  This is stupid, yo.
[00:42:07]  This is stupid.
[00:42:12]  Oh, man.
[00:42:14]  TK way.
[00:42:17]  TK away.
[00:42:27]  It's just nice to be on the inside of a joke sometimes.
[00:42:34]  Oh, man.
[00:42:35]  What's there to explain?
[00:42:36]  You are a fucking wire boy, man.
[00:42:38]  You're wiring right now.
[00:42:40]  You are wiring.
[00:42:42]  What?
[00:42:46]  You are wiring out.
[00:42:47]  Yeah.
[00:42:50]  Irish, can you get the hold of us?
[00:42:54]  I can't with that, man.
[00:42:55]  Yo, you motherfucking son.
[00:42:57]  Yo, for real.
[00:42:59]  We don't call this shit for Raymond Dude for no reason.
[00:43:05]  Yo, I can't wait till we put this out in Crips.
[00:43:09]  Yo, the IG Crips on this are gonna be rich.
[00:43:17]  You know, what's interesting is that we're actually mocking a Mandarin accent.
[00:43:24]  Oh, word?
[00:43:24]  Yeah, we're actually off it.
[00:43:26]  Cantonese is a little bit different.
[00:43:28]  Cantonese.

=== Mocking a Mandarin Accent (04:09) ===

[00:43:34]  So the next clip is a special episode we did with our boys from the basement yard, Joe and Danny, two super hilarious guys.
[00:43:42]  It was great.
[00:43:43]  Every time we have an episode with another dope podcast and kind of bring all of our audiences together.
[00:43:48]  And just any group or any podcast or any show that believes in flagrancy the way we do is always fun.
[00:43:55]  So, Akash, you were there for that.
[00:43:58]  Talk about it.
[00:43:59]  I got nothing to add.
[00:44:00]  I thought the whole episode was great.
[00:44:01]  This is the moment we picked out because a lot of patrons, we asked, what's their favorite moment?
[00:44:04]  And they said this specific thing.
[00:44:06]  So guys, here is sucking that thing.
[00:44:08]  This one time at summer camp.
[00:44:10]  You did yours, motherfucker.
[00:44:12]  We know about your cousin.
[00:44:15]  What?
[00:44:15]  Yeah, no, he did his comedic childhood story as well.
[00:44:18]  I was like, nothing about my cousin.
[00:44:20]  I was like, I'm repressing that.
[00:44:22]  I was just saying that.
[00:44:23]  It was your cousin.
[00:44:24]  I mean, you could kind of come out of my cousin, my cousin.
[00:44:27]  Okay, I know.
[00:44:28]  She's the same age as you.
[00:44:29]  No, she was older.
[00:44:30]  Yeah, like 15 years older.
[00:44:31]  So she could have molested you.
[00:44:33]  Yeah, she could have.
[00:44:33]  If she wanted to.
[00:44:34]  Did you think she did?
[00:44:35]  I mean.
[00:44:37]  Do you think you were cute enough to be molested?
[00:44:40]  Ever in my life molested?
[00:44:41]  Yeah.
[00:44:43]  I had a vice principal go to jail for like...
[00:44:45]  I've told you the story.
[00:44:46]  Yeah.
[00:44:46]  Yeah.
[00:44:47]  So I want to tell it quick because he was just inside his fucking mind.
[00:44:52]  I had a vice principal at my high school who was like, you know, like, there's always like somebody that works at a high school.
[00:44:56]  It's like, I want to work with like the troubled kids.
[00:44:58]  You know what I mean?
[00:44:59]  Like, take them under my wing.
[00:45:01]  And, you know, like, he would take kids under his wing.
[00:45:04]  Wing being dick.
[00:45:05]  Yeah.
[00:45:07]  And I remember, like, thankfully, I had two older brothers.
[00:45:10]  So I was like a little more street smart to like when somebody was like trying to fuck this ass.
[00:45:14]  You know what I'm saying?
[00:45:15]  So little boys.
[00:45:17]  Yeah, dude, I was in high school.
[00:45:18]  Gotcha.
[00:45:19]  And like, he would be like, yeah, like, you know.
[00:45:21]  High school, you're fucking old enough.
[00:45:23]  Yeah, Dude, if you're getting pounded in high school, you have to be somewhat consensual in that situation.
[00:45:28]  100%, I believe you.
[00:45:29]  But there's also some other kids that you take care of.
[00:45:32]  You think you can be manipulated out of your butt at 16?
[00:45:34]  Hell yeah.
[00:45:35]  He totally tricked me.
[00:45:36]  I thought no photos.
[00:45:38]  There is a terrible finger girl every fucking night.
[00:45:40]  There was a male comic who was like at 14, some raby shit happened.
[00:45:45]  And Andrew, this is well before any, this is like 10 years ago.
[00:45:48]  And Andrew was just not.
[00:45:49]  He was like, you're 14.
[00:45:50]  You can't fucking fight.
[00:45:52]  So I will snuff my high school teaser, my vice principal.
[00:45:56]  Yeah, yeah.
[00:45:57]  So what happened was, is that the principal.
[00:46:00]  Yeah, he was not even the principal in charge.
[00:46:01]  You don't even got authority.
[00:46:03]  You would have rape me with vice?
[00:46:04]  Yeah.
[00:46:05]  You would rape me with vice in your life.
[00:46:07]  Honestly, real talk.
[00:46:09]  That's kind of the reason why I could see how R. Kelly got away with raping all those people.
[00:46:13]  Yeah.
[00:46:14]  Because he's like really fucking charismatic.
[00:46:16]  Like, we didn't think he was raped.
[00:46:18]  Like, we saw him on tape.
[00:46:20]  That's different, though.
[00:46:20]  He's also like a famous person.
[00:46:23]  He's got power.
[00:46:24]  I don't think that has an age limit.
[00:46:25]  That's what I'm saying.
[00:46:25]  Like, he's a vice principal.
[00:46:27]  Like, that doesn't make any fucking sense.
[00:46:29]  No.
[00:46:29]  He wasn't my type anyway.
[00:46:30]  But what I'm saying is, like, he would be very like, hey, like, listen, I'll help you with your grades and help you get back on the basketball team, help you get all this stuff.
[00:46:39]  If you.
[00:46:40]  No, The if never came.
[00:46:42]  That was later.
[00:46:43]  You know who else didn't come?
[00:46:45]  Him.
[00:46:47]  Me and him.
[00:46:48]  But he used to like call me at night.
[00:46:51]  Yeah.
[00:46:51]  Used to like send me like birthday cards.
[00:46:53]  And then he left our school.
[00:46:54]  Yeah.
[00:46:55]  And him leaving, there was like four of us that were like the troubled kids.
[00:47:02]  And we all were drinking like the night he left and went somewhere else.
[00:47:05]  We were like, yo, let me ask you a question.
[00:47:08]  You think he's gay?
[00:47:10]  And then all of us were like, dude.
[00:47:13]  Like for years I've thought this.
[00:47:15]  I just thought I was being like over.
[00:47:16]  And then he went to another school, got caught with a kid in his car.
[00:47:22]  Sucking that thing?
[00:47:23]  Well, he had a kid.
[00:47:24]  He had the kid in his car.
[00:47:25]  Well, he had a kid in the car.
[00:47:26]  I don't think he had a car.
[00:47:27]  He had a kid in the car.
[00:47:30]  He had a kid in the car who was a troubled kid.
[00:47:32]  Sir, get out of the car.
[00:47:33]  Stop sucking that thing.
[00:47:36]  Take the thing out of your mouth, sir.
[00:47:38]  You got your next buying song, buddy.
[00:47:41]  Take a thing out of your mouth and place it on the ground.

=== Did He Have a Kid (05:45) ===

[00:47:44]  Sucking that thing.
[00:47:46]  Take three steps back from the thing.
[00:47:50]  But then stand like an old black woman up.
[00:47:52]  Sucking that thing.
[00:47:53]  You sucking that thing in there.
[00:47:55]  Get out of there.
[00:47:56]  Get out of there.
[00:47:58]  Put the thing down.
[00:47:59]  Sit down.
[00:47:59]  Yo, let me ask you a question.
[00:48:01]  Put the keys on, Dashbo.
[00:48:02]  Let me ask you a question.
[00:48:03]  You played high school football and basketball.
[00:48:07]  Uh-huh.
[00:48:07]  And teachers are trying to fuck you.
[00:48:09]  Yeah, I was the man.
[00:48:10]  What happened?
[00:48:12]  That's not failed.
[00:48:15]  Yo, we need the high school Danny picture, bro.
[00:48:18]  Walking around Italy with Versace Rolls.
[00:48:21]  This real peaked up.
[00:48:22]  This motherfucker peaked in high school.
[00:48:24]  I did.
[00:48:24]  I did.
[00:48:25]  Not financially, though.
[00:48:26]  But everything else, I'll agree.
[00:48:28]  Nobody wants to fuck me anymore.
[00:48:29]  Top 18 a game, getting fingered by your dean.
[00:48:32]  Yeah.
[00:48:33]  You're trying to get respect from the black kids when you lost.
[00:48:35]  Yeah, the black kids love me.
[00:48:36]  Yo, y'all lost good.
[00:48:38]  Yeah, yeah.
[00:48:39]  That's what happens, you know?
[00:48:41]  Okay, I love how we've been interrupting this molestation story.
[00:48:43]  No, no, no.
[00:48:44]  Psychopaths are coming.
[00:48:44]  Nobody molested me that I know of.
[00:48:47]  Is that you're trying to tell a story about how you were molested, and we keep going, oh, Joke Offer True.
[00:48:52]  Joke Offer True.
[00:48:53]  Hold on.
[00:48:54]  He said, suck his thing.
[00:48:57]  So he climbed on top of me.
[00:48:59]  He said, ah, motherfucker said, climb.
[00:49:03]  If you ever watch Flagrant 2, you know we have a lot of shitty, terrible theories on life, but nobody leads the league in terrible, shitty theories than our boy Andrew.
[00:49:14]  And the Trandy Porn episode was definitely one of them because I don't know how he tried to convince me that it was more straight than regular porn, but he gave a compelling argument.
[00:49:26]  It was honestly logically very sound.
[00:49:28]  And I'm going to be honest, this is the clip that started my three-month shadow ban off Instagram.
[00:49:32]  So guys, here is Trandy Porn is more straight.
[00:49:35]  You're welcome.
[00:49:37]  But can I be honest with you?
[00:49:38]  I've seen straight couples kiss that I'm not into.
[00:49:41]  Is it just how ugly the people are to you?
[00:49:42]  And all guys are ugly.
[00:49:44]  Exactly.
[00:49:44]  Right.
[00:49:44]  But not all guys are ugly.
[00:49:46]  I can say, like, you're attractive.
[00:49:47]  You're goodly.
[00:49:48]  You have, like, features that are pretty motherfucker.
[00:49:50]  No, no, no.
[00:49:51]  Like, I'm not one of those dudes that can't admit.
[00:49:53]  Of course.
[00:49:54]  Like, whatever.
[00:49:54]  You know what I mean?
[00:49:55]  You want to fuck the whole podcast.
[00:49:57]  Okay, that's a lot.
[00:49:58]  So what are you putting on the fucking TV, Eddie?
[00:50:00]  Come on, Sam.
[00:50:02]  Is that really that distracting to you?
[00:50:03]  Oh, so now I'm the asshole.
[00:50:05]  Hold on.
[00:50:07]  Hold on, son.
[00:50:09]  Hold on, son.
[00:50:10]  Hold on.
[00:50:12]  Shut the fuck up.
[00:50:13]  So, look, so look, earlier I go seeing two dudes kiss.
[00:50:17]  That's gross, right?
[00:50:19]  Eden puts up 20 pictures of two guys centrally making out on the screen, and Al doesn't notice it and turns to me and goes, oh, come on, Son, come on.
[00:50:31]  Akash hasn't even looked at the periphery.
[00:50:34]  But did I ever disagree with you when it was gross?
[00:50:36]  Did I disagree with you or did I just laugh?
[00:50:38]  Did I laugh a silent agreement laugh?
[00:50:40]  A silent agreement laugh.
[00:50:42]  Yes, 100%.
[00:50:43]  So the point is, it has nothing to...
[00:50:45]  You can find something unattractive and totally want them to have rights and want them to be able to kiss as much as they possibly could kiss.
[00:50:53]  Like, you could do all that.
[00:50:55]  That's totally fine.
[00:50:57]  We can.
[00:51:00]  Eddie, get these fucking guys off the screen.
[00:51:03]  You wanted to go by?
[00:51:05]  You wanted to go back?
[00:51:08]  My God, you got to have some fucking kangaroos.
[00:51:10]  That's a normal thing.
[00:51:11]  You know, let's get kangaroo feed for a little bit.
[00:51:15]  So that's the bullshit.
[00:51:19]  No, You're crazy.
[00:51:21]  You're crazy.
[00:51:22]  But isn't that the crazy thing?
[00:51:24]  Like, you can't, like, I would imagine, and correct me if I'm wrong, the gay guys that listen to this.
[00:51:29]  I know we got some gay Flagrant 2 asshole Army out here, the real Army.
[00:51:32]  I love the gays.
[00:51:33]  Yo, so I would imagine you don't particularly enjoy watching straight couples make out.
[00:51:40]  Yeah, you probably think lesbians kissing is gross.
[00:51:43]  Facts.
[00:51:45]  That's two people I am completely unattracted to just make it out.
[00:51:48]  You don't want to fuck.
[00:51:49]  Like, that's another thing.
[00:51:50]  Like, I'm not big that, like, I could watch a tranny fuck a girl because that's what kind of.
[00:52:00]  I could watch a male tranny a man that got titties but still got his dick fuck a girl because that's more straight because that's more tits It's the same amount of dicks in a porn, which is one same amount of pussies in a porn, which is the girl.
[00:52:20]  Yeah, but now you have two more tits.
[00:52:23]  It's a little too unusual for my taste.
[00:52:25]  Shit is a little unusual.
[00:52:27]  It's unusual, but I'm not gonna be like, ow, more tids.
[00:52:32]  Right?
[00:52:32]  It's just a dude with tits.
[00:52:35]  And a what?
[00:52:38]  And a chick.
[00:52:40]  The chick is still a chick, and it's a dude with tids.
[00:52:45]  Right?
[00:52:47]  Like, I'm not.
[00:52:48]  I see the logic.
[00:52:48]  It's not my first selection.
[00:52:50]  I don't emotionally agree with you, but I see the logic.
[00:52:55]  I don't, I don't, what you said didn't resonate within me.
[00:52:58]  It's like, you know what?
[00:52:59]  Understanding.
[00:53:00]  I feel the same fucking way.
[00:53:01]  Motherfuckers will be like, oh, that's just gay, whatever.
[00:53:03]  Like that.
[00:53:03]  It's like, it's straighter.
[00:53:06]  It's straighter.
[00:53:08]  It's more tids.
[00:53:10]  It's the same amount of dick.
[00:53:12]  More tits.
[00:53:15]  Like, there's who's.
[00:53:16]  Jamie Lee Curtis getting fucked by Jamie Lee Curtis.
[00:53:28]  Think about it.
[00:53:29]  Imagine, imagine.

=== Jamie Lee Curtis Gets Fucked (14:49) ===

[00:53:30]  We gotta take these episodes to Patreon at some point.
[00:53:32]  I'm just saying.
[00:53:33]  Imagine, none of us try it out for SNL.
[00:53:37]  Listen, imagine.
[00:53:39]  Yo, imagine they try to come for us for this episode.
[00:53:41]  Imagine I'm like, I saw my fucking God's feet.
[00:53:48]  Just as long as I don't see Satan fucking feet, and then the shower stall doors mad, like thin and hollow.
[00:54:05]  And all of a sudden, you start feeling, just start moving back and forth.
[00:54:11]  Then you like that in there.
[00:54:15]  You want me to cup them?
[00:54:18]  You want me to point my toes a little?
[00:54:20]  You want me to point my toes?
[00:54:22]  Want me to attach the toes.
[00:54:24]  Yo, what if you fucking, yo, son?
[00:54:26]  What if someone has so much foot dexterity?
[00:54:28]  Is it you fucking the feet?
[00:54:30]  And then all of a sudden the toes just lock like that.
[00:54:35]  The toes just went webbing a web.
[00:54:37]  And you were like, oh, shit.
[00:54:40]  Oh, shit.
[00:54:42]  Son, Alex's toes too close together.
[00:54:44]  They can't do that.
[00:54:45]  Alex feet look like Oscar Prista.
[00:54:49]  We got the bleed button over here, son.
[00:54:56]  Try to cancel me.
[00:54:58]  Try to cancel me.
[00:55:00]  Yo, this next clip, I did probably what a lot of people have wanted to do to Andrew for a long time is us telling the story of how I slapped Andrew when we were in LA for All-Star Weekend.
[00:55:10]  And I don't remember what he accused me of saying, but it was so goddamn funny.
[00:55:14]  I laugh so hard at the story to this day when I think of what he says when you think about it.
[00:55:18]  A hamburger is really a sandwich.
[00:55:20]  Is what he said I said.
[00:55:23]  And then we just retold the story.
[00:55:24]  I mean, slapping Andrew in his fucking face.
[00:55:26]  Yeah, like, Andrew's the man we all love and cherish, but sometimes we all do want to slap him in the face.
[00:55:33]  And Akash got to live out many of your fantasies.
[00:55:36]  So, and it was fantastic and very, very fucking funny.
[00:55:40]  So, check out this clip.
[00:55:42]  Did you have anything to offer?
[00:55:46]  Did you have anything to say about Jimmy Butler?
[00:55:50]  He's a big guy.
[00:55:50]  No, no, he covered it all.
[00:55:53]  You want me to add to every fucking.
[00:55:56]  I don't know why I'm asking.
[00:55:58]  You need to help answer these fucking texts.
[00:56:01]  And I'm the asshole.
[00:56:02]  You got anything to ask?
[00:56:04]  You're the one who fucking won these shits.
[00:56:06]  You know who fucking initiated it.
[00:56:07]  Yo, we got to figure out who the flame fucking nap, son.
[00:56:10]  I woke up.
[00:56:11]  235 texts.
[00:56:14]  235 texts.
[00:56:16]  I told you.
[00:56:17]  I was waiting for one motherfucker to chime in.
[00:56:20]  The producers on this text ain't produced shit.
[00:56:22]  It's just me and Kaz doing the whole thing.
[00:56:24]  Alex get in the studio.
[00:56:25]  Look at this fucking studio, right?
[00:56:27]  Yo, Alex said the whole thing.
[00:56:29]  You know, Alex is sneaking into this country.
[00:56:31]  All the mats can tape.
[00:56:33]  Eden, stretching his spinal column at least another inch or two.
[00:56:38]  Hanging off the doorway.
[00:56:39]  Just trying to get taller.
[00:56:41]  Exactly.
[00:56:41]  That motherfucker on the Bruce Lee machine.
[00:56:43]  Oh, my God.
[00:56:44]  Okay.
[00:56:45]  I was doing what I had to do.
[00:56:46]  I had to nap so I could come with this energy today, bro.
[00:56:50]  I had to come through.
[00:56:52]  Fine, but don't look at me.
[00:56:53]  Lean out with that stupid fucking look on your face.
[00:56:56]  I fucking hate.
[00:56:57]  I've slapped you in the face for that look.
[00:56:59]  Remember in LA?
[00:57:00]  When you were looking at me like that, and I slapped you.
[00:57:03]  Did we not tell this story?
[00:57:04]  No, you did.
[00:57:05]  I didn't hear that.
[00:57:05]  You never saw this story?
[00:57:06]  Y'all were there?
[00:57:07]  Yo, you were there.
[00:57:08]  It was that all-star week.
[00:57:09]  Yo, wait, what?
[00:57:11]  What was this?
[00:57:11]  I don't remember.
[00:57:12]  It was all there.
[00:57:13]  It was so funny.
[00:57:13]  This is so funny.
[00:57:15]  Okay.
[00:57:15]  So we were in the car, right?
[00:57:17]  Is it when Andrew was high?
[00:57:19]  I was high.
[00:57:20]  Oh, okay.
[00:57:20]  I don't remember.
[00:57:21]  I don't know.
[00:57:22]  The car had mad seats.
[00:57:26]  It's a van.
[00:57:27]  It's a van.
[00:57:28]  That's how.
[00:57:29]  Because I think there was mad cars.
[00:57:32]  I don't think I was in the car.
[00:57:33]  I was so high, bro.
[00:57:34]  When y'all told me that we weren't in the car for like hours and shit.
[00:57:38]  Remember when?
[00:57:39]  We walked like 100 feet earlier in the day.
[00:57:41]  Like, we literally just crossed the street.
[00:57:43]  And Andrew was like, how long have we been fucking?
[00:57:46]  This is when we went to the uninterrupted party, right?
[00:57:50]  Yeah.
[00:57:50]  You're on away to the uninterrupted party.
[00:57:52]  Oh, my God.
[00:57:53]  I saw we walked all of LA.
[00:57:55]  It's a fucking show.
[00:57:57]  We literally crossed the street.
[00:57:58]  Somebody crossed the street, but to me?
[00:58:00]  It's like, bro, how long have we been walking, bro?
[00:58:03]  Son, I felt like the Jews in the desert, son.
[00:58:06]  I felt like it was 40 years.
[00:58:09]  We were walking.
[00:58:10]  He walked right by his ex like 10 minutes later, didn't even know.
[00:58:13]  I had a conversation with this bitch because she just walked to us and Andrew just kept walking, didn't even notice.
[00:58:18]  So I remember that, but when the slap came?
[00:58:20]  All right, so we're in this car.
[00:58:21]  We had another car later.
[00:58:23]  It was a different car.
[00:58:24]  It was in a different car.
[00:58:25]  That's why.
[00:58:25]  Wait, but am I in this car?
[00:58:27]  Was it the Ralph's car?
[00:58:28]  Huh?
[00:58:29]  No.
[00:58:29]  Is it the Ralph's car?
[00:58:30]  Ralph's car was Blau.
[00:58:31]  That was when Blau was with us.
[00:58:32]  Yeah, Blau was driving.
[00:58:33]  And Blau had to go to a show.
[00:58:34]  Blau did a show.
[00:58:36]  So we Uber.
[00:58:36]  He's the only one not high.
[00:58:37]  That's how I remember this shit.
[00:58:40]  I don't remember.
[00:58:40]  None of that.
[00:58:41]  So we're in the car that had multiple seats, right?
[00:58:45]  So it had two front seats, then it had a middle seat, and then it had seats in the back for Pharaoh.
[00:58:51]  Something like a caravan?
[00:58:52]  Right.
[00:58:53]  Yes, like a Sienna or something of that sort.
[00:58:55]  Right?
[00:58:56]  We don't use the word caravan.
[00:58:57]  Well, I'll end this here.
[00:59:00]  It's a trigger word for him.
[00:59:01]  Okay.
[00:59:02]  Most of his family is still there.
[00:59:03]  Okay.
[00:59:04]  So we're in the Sienna, right?
[00:59:08]  Akash is in the back seat.
[00:59:09]  I'm in the middle seat.
[00:59:11]  Okay?
[00:59:12]  Akash in the back seat talking.
[00:59:13]  I'm high as fuck.
[00:59:15]  Then Akash, what you said?
[00:59:16]  I don't remember.
[00:59:17]  Okay, then Akash said some dumbass, like, obvious shit, right?
[00:59:22]  Like, just some real obvious shit.
[00:59:24]  Like, I forget exactly it is, but like, uh, he said something like, Yeah, I'm down to go out.
[00:59:29]  I just got to call my girl before, right?
[00:59:32]  I forget exactly what it was.
[00:59:35]  It wasn't like it wasn't that I'd be doing that, but it wasn't that.
[00:59:40]  I don't know if I thought it was funny and it wasn't.
[00:59:42]  No, no, it wasn't about it being funny or something.
[00:59:44]  I thought it was just a regular ass sentence.
[00:59:45]  That's what I know being like, how he latch onto this?
[00:59:48]  Yeah, you know, but he said something that he like he pinned himself in a corner with, right?
[00:59:53]  I forget exactly what it was, but it was something like, let's say, for example, he goes, he goes, he was like, he's like, yo, thing about hamburgers is that they really are a sandwich, right?
[01:00:05]  Like, let's say he says something kind of like, nothing like that.
[01:00:08]  It was kind of like that, right?
[01:00:09]  Well, he used that as a placeholder.
[01:00:10]  As a placeholder, he used that as a placeholder, right?
[01:00:13]  So I hear him say this dumbass shit and I'm high, right?
[01:00:17]  But now I got him.
[01:00:18]  I gotta rock, right?
[01:00:20]  So I'm driving.
[01:00:21]  I'm driving like this.
[01:00:22]  You're not driving no fucking.
[01:00:24]  I'm not driving.
[01:00:24]  We're not driving anything.
[01:00:25]  No, no, I wasn't driving.
[01:00:26]  I was in row two, right?
[01:00:27]  I was in row two.
[01:00:28]  I was in row two.
[01:00:28]  He's in a coach.
[01:00:29]  I'm in the business, right?
[01:00:31]  Right?
[01:00:32]  Economy plus.
[01:00:33]  I'm economy plus.
[01:00:34]  I hear this coach motherfucker talking, but he goes, he goes, you know, I mean, technically, a burger is a sandwich when you think about it, right?
[01:00:48]  He says, cash diet.
[01:00:59]  So you go, you go, he gotta go.
[01:01:01]  He gotta go.
[01:01:02]  I'm like this, right?
[01:01:03]  I'm like this.
[01:01:04]  Yeah, I'm just saying, right?
[01:01:06]  Yo, mind your business.
[01:01:07]  You know, technically, a hamburger is a sandwich.
[01:01:13]  I mean, if we want to be technical.
[01:01:14]  So it's like, he just kind of says it, right?
[01:01:17]  I turn around and I go, With his face,
[01:01:32]  I go, I go, I go, I go, and I'm just sitting there, and I'm just sitting there like this.
[01:01:50]  Like, oh, fuck.
[01:01:51]  No, no, I don't even get to what I say.
[01:01:53]  I go, I go, is it really a sandwich?
[01:02:00]  And he knows I'm about to.
[01:02:01]  And I'm listening.
[01:02:03]  I'm looking.
[01:02:03]  And I'm thinking about this.
[01:02:04]  I'm like, he's about to sink his teeth all the way through the end of this.
[01:02:07]  It's going to be next 30 minutes.
[01:02:08]  When Abrams goes, when Abram goes, he gets locked.
[01:02:12]  He goes.
[01:02:13]  Pitbull, locked.
[01:02:15]  So I'm looking at him and I'm thinking, I'm like, his reflex is a little slow because he's high.
[01:02:20]  How do I stop this?
[01:02:22]  And then before I even, I'm like, you just got to make your move now.
[01:02:26]  And then I just slap him.
[01:02:27]  He slapped me right.
[01:02:28]  I just slap the shit out of me.
[01:02:30]  Slap the shit out of me, right?
[01:02:31]  He slaps shit.
[01:02:32]  And it was the only thing to do because if he tried to come at me, it's too late.
[01:02:37]  He's going to come over the top.
[01:02:38]  It's too late.
[01:02:39]  It's too much.
[01:02:40]  It's too late.
[01:02:41]  Or all things with bread of sandwich.
[01:02:47]  It's a hot dog of shit.
[01:02:50]  I was just going to fucking lay it.
[01:02:52]  And dude, it was going to be the rest of the night.
[01:02:53]  We were going to leave the car.
[01:02:55]  Right?
[01:02:55]  And I gosh, in that split-second moment, was like, how do I switch the momentum?
[01:03:00]  How do I change this?
[01:03:02]  Slap me right in my fucking face.
[01:03:04]  I can't believe it.
[01:03:06]  Son, I died laughing.
[01:03:08]  You know what it was?
[01:03:09]  I died laughing, and I knew exactly why he did it.
[01:03:13]  I knew exactly how he was.
[01:03:14]  We never had a conversation about why I did it.
[01:03:16]  We both just knew.
[01:03:17]  No, no, we talked about it.
[01:03:19]  All right, fair enough.
[01:03:20]  Yeah.
[01:03:21]  Remember every fucking thing else?
[01:03:23]  I try to add one thing to make the story better.
[01:03:26]  You see, motherfucker.
[01:03:29]  I acknowledge the genius of it.
[01:03:31]  Oh, my God.
[01:03:32]  The genius of the move.
[01:03:33]  The risk is that I punch you in the face, right?
[01:03:35]  Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[01:03:36]  But the reward is over and it's null and void.
[01:03:39]  Oh, for sure.
[01:03:40]  Completely ended it.
[01:03:41]  I was weighing it in my mind.
[01:03:42]  I was like, he could punch me.
[01:03:43]  It was fucking genius.
[01:03:44]  Oh, my God.
[01:03:45]  But I also thought, if you're high, it's going to be too long before you realize what happened.
[01:03:49]  And I can't.
[01:03:50]  Oh, I just want to do it.
[01:03:50]  I can fucking cover whatever I need to do.
[01:03:52]  I wish I remember what you fucking said, bro.
[01:03:54]  Nah, it's just the.
[01:03:55]  I swear to God, whatever it is.
[01:03:56]  It's the hamburger.
[01:04:02]  Check out Mr. Observation over here in the back seat.
[01:04:07]  Oh, what else have you noticed about the world?
[01:04:13]  Imagine you knew that was coming.
[01:04:15]  Imagine the tsunami is coming.
[01:04:17]  If I was hanging out with you the whole time high and I'm sober as shit.
[01:04:21]  Yeah, like that's the best thing.
[01:04:22]  Especially, you know, when Andrew sinks his fucking bro, he don't let you live.
[01:04:28]  There's no breathing.
[01:04:28]  It was genius, bro.
[01:04:29]  It was a fucking genius.
[01:04:30]  Slap the shit out of me right there.
[01:04:32]  Boom, left hand, right?
[01:04:34]  Left hand, right hand.
[01:04:36]  I couldn't believe it.
[01:04:36]  I was like, just have it.
[01:04:38]  Another clip about Relationship Andrew.
[01:04:41]  This is the first time he, oh, I think the first time he ever went overseas with a significant other.
[01:04:46]  This is him telling me the story about being in Japan and eating at Jiro Dreams of Sushi.
[01:04:52]  And again, just one of the funniest episodes I think we had all year.
[01:04:57]  Yeah, Relationship Andrew is highly entertaining.
[01:05:01]  I didn't think he could top single scummy Andrew, but he has.
[01:05:06]  And we get great stories from it.
[01:05:09]  And, you know, now he can all relate to our relationship plights that we have.
[01:05:15]  So check out Jiro Dreams of Sushi.
[01:05:18]  Look, back to these Japaneses.
[01:05:21]  Okay.
[01:05:24]  I had the best sushi I ever had in my life, right?
[01:05:26]  Obviously.
[01:05:27]  Not Jiro.
[01:05:31]  I got a bone to pick with this motherfucker.
[01:05:34]  Let me tell you something about Jiro, okay?
[01:05:37]  We should have taken that guy out in World War II.
[01:05:41]  Okay?
[01:05:42]  We missed with Jiro.
[01:05:43]  This fraud.
[01:05:44]  Okay.
[01:05:45]  Listen, for those of you guys who don't know what I'm talking about, I already spoke about on the podcast.
[01:05:50]  I dream of Jiro Dreams of Sushi.
[01:05:52]  Yeah.
[01:05:52]  Is the name of the thing?
[01:05:53]  It's a Netflix documentary.
[01:05:55]  He's not dreaming of sushi, let me tell you that much.
[01:05:58]  Okay?
[01:05:59]  He's dreaming of something else.
[01:06:01]  I was so excited to go to this fucking dinner.
[01:06:04]  I was geeked for you.
[01:06:05]  Son, do you know I bought a suit?
[01:06:10]  So keep in mind, son, keep in mind, the dinner is $1,000.
[01:06:14]  Me and my shorty, right?
[01:06:16]  I buy a suit.
[01:06:16]  $500 each, $1,000.
[01:06:17]  $500 each.
[01:06:19]  $1,000.
[01:06:20]  That's crazy, bro.
[01:06:21]  Son.
[01:06:25]  Wait till you hear about this dinner.
[01:06:27]  If I get an angry Kramer right now, here we go.
[01:06:31]  $1,000 dinner, right?
[01:06:33]  Pre-booked.
[01:06:34]  We get it.
[01:06:34]  I'm so fucking hyped.
[01:06:36]  We start looking up the right way to eat the food, how to operate in the gym.
[01:06:39]  Okay, you got to wear a suit?
[01:06:40]  Okay, boom.
[01:06:41]  I got to wear a suit.
[01:06:42]  I go buy a fucking suit, right?
[01:06:44]  Do they even have sizes for you in Japan?
[01:06:46]  Damn, I bought it in America.
[01:06:48]  Okay, yeah.
[01:06:48]  I was prepared.
[01:06:49]  I brought the suit over there.
[01:06:51]  I brought a new pair of shoes.
[01:06:52]  I bought the belt.
[01:06:53]  I bought the shirt.
[01:06:53]  I spent $1,000 on the suit, the whole thing.
[01:06:56]  I'm 2,000 deep for Jiro.
[01:06:59]  Okay?
[01:07:01]  We go to Jiro, right?
[01:07:03]  We're running late.
[01:07:04]  The shit is in the subway.
[01:07:05]  You can't even find it.
[01:07:05]  You got to go through some back entrance.
[01:07:07]  It's like you're trying to get into a nightclub in the 80s, like some real crazy shit.
[01:07:11]  We're running mad late.
[01:07:12]  Shorty got on heels and shit.
[01:07:14]  She's like, you're rushing too.
[01:07:16]  We should go this.
[01:07:18]  And I developed a cool way to tell her to shut up without saying shut up.
[01:07:21]  I just go, ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba.
[01:07:23]  That's not nice.
[01:07:25]  It's not nice.
[01:07:27]  Shut up is like aggressive, but if you a bubba, they don't really know what to do, and they just stop.
[01:07:35]  Yo, the pa-pa-pa-pa-pa.
[01:07:38]  Watch it's good.
[01:07:45]  Son, I had to improvise.
[01:07:47]  We were about to be late.
[01:07:48]  You can't be late.
[01:07:49]  That's the shit my girl would do.
[01:07:51]  You cannot be fucking late to a thousand dollar dinner.
[01:07:54]  He needs Japanese.
[01:07:55]  He don't have no fucking technology.
[01:07:56]  They've been late in their whole life.
[01:07:58]  Okay?
[01:07:58]  These are very principled, formal people.
[01:08:00]  Okay?
[01:08:01]  I pull up in.
[01:08:04]  I pull up in.
[01:08:04]  Okay?
[01:08:06]  We finally get there.
[01:08:07]  Three minutes to spare.
[01:08:08]  We sit down.
[01:08:08]  Thank God we got it.
[01:08:10]  Okay.
[01:08:11]  Would you like me to take your jacket?
[01:08:12]  The girl at the door says, I didn't even get to show Jiro.
[01:08:17]  I ain't got to show him my blazer yet.

=== Sushi and Wasabi Poisoning (09:13) ===

[01:08:19]  You know what I mean?
[01:08:19]  But I reluctantly give the double-breasted.
[01:08:21]  So Jiro never saw a double-breasted.
[01:08:24]  We sit down ready for sushi.
[01:08:26]  Keep in mind, I know some of you look at me right now like, I don't know sushi at all.
[01:08:30]  I'm some white motherfucker.
[01:08:31]  I don't understand these things.
[01:08:32]  But you know what I did that day?
[01:08:34]  I went to the fish market from Jiro dreams of sushi.
[01:08:37]  Oh.
[01:08:38]  Yeah, that morning, 6 a.m.
[01:08:40]  And you know what I did immediately after I saw the fresh tuna get caught?
[01:08:43]  I went to one of the restaurants at the old fish market that has the fresh tuna.
[01:08:47]  And I had sushi for breakfast.
[01:08:49]  I had the best sushi I ever had in my entire life.
[01:08:51]  That morning.
[01:08:52]  That morning.
[01:08:52]  The recommendation from our homeboy, Tao, that came to the podcast.
[01:08:56]  Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[01:08:58]  When I tell you this sushi was incredible, you never had it in your entire life.
[01:09:02]  And there's something different than for with tuna than everything else.
[01:09:05]  The fish tuna is like that steak, butter.
[01:09:09]  It is butter on rice.
[01:09:10]  You never experienced tuna.
[01:09:12]  Like the tuna we have here and the salmon.
[01:09:15]  You know how they're like almost interchangeable?
[01:09:17]  Yeah.
[01:09:18]  Tuna is so unique in texture and flavor from every other fish that you've tried, you see why they're obsessed with it.
[01:09:25]  I had the best sushi I ever had in my entire life.
[01:09:27]  I doubled down.
[01:09:28]  I ordered another round and I heard the Japanese guy, I heard that was Japanese?
[01:09:35]  Honestly, Japanese the weirdest language, bro.
[01:09:39]  I'm telling you.
[01:09:42]  It's listen, of course, you think that you always think about that.
[01:09:46]  But it's more melodic.
[01:09:49]  That's how you say grand hyatt.
[01:09:52]  Right?
[01:09:53]  That's what you say?
[01:09:54]  Son, I don't speak no Japanese.
[01:09:55]  Yes, I don't speak no Japanese, but I heard little words.
[01:09:58]  You basically just say condiments.
[01:10:00]  Condiments.
[01:10:02]  Honey mustard.
[01:10:07]  Son, you walk into the restaurant.
[01:10:09]  I don't know what they're saying, but they're like, honey mustard.
[01:10:13]  Katsup, honey mustard.
[01:10:14]  Katsup, man, that's it.
[01:10:17]  You just say condiments.
[01:10:18]  They just screaming condiments.
[01:10:19]  They understand it.
[01:10:20]  I don't know what's going on.
[01:10:22]  I tried a sushi that morning, Akash.
[01:10:25]  I tried the sushi that morning.
[01:10:27]  I prepared myself a sushi.
[01:10:28]  I took a nap.
[01:10:31]  Son, I wasn't about to go to Jiro tired.
[01:10:33]  I took a nap.
[01:10:35]  I put on a suit.
[01:10:37]  Pressed.
[01:10:38]  I had that shit hanging for three days.
[01:10:41]  Put it in the shower.
[01:10:42]  I put the shirt in the shower to get the wrinkles out.
[01:10:45]  Bro, it's Jiro.
[01:10:46]  He dreams of sushi.
[01:10:49]  You snap dude.
[01:10:50]  You nap to dream of sushi.
[01:10:51]  I was dreaming of sushi too, Akash.
[01:10:53]  I was dreaming of it.
[01:10:55]  I show up to this.
[01:10:56]  I sit down.
[01:10:58]  No jacket.
[01:10:59]  I sit down.
[01:11:01]  I look up.
[01:11:04]  I see Jiro.
[01:11:06]  I'm like, wow, he looks great still.
[01:11:09]  And then I realize, oh, fuck.
[01:11:12]  It was actually his son.
[01:11:14]  That's a problem.
[01:11:16]  Now, the son who was in the documentary.
[01:11:18]  I'm like, my, he's aged.
[01:11:21]  But this is still awesome that I at least get the sun.
[01:11:23]  Because Jiro's 94 years old.
[01:11:25]  I was worried he wasn't even going to be there.
[01:11:26]  So I was like, boom, we got the son from the documentary.
[01:11:29]  We're good.
[01:11:30]  I look to his left, and there's Jiro.
[01:11:34]  Word?
[01:11:35]  Jiro and his son.
[01:11:36]  I got the double whammy.
[01:11:38]  Oh, you're hyped.
[01:11:39]  I'm fucking hyped.
[01:11:41]  Can we get you something to drink?
[01:11:42]  Green tea.
[01:11:44]  I know better.
[01:11:45]  I looked at the rules.
[01:11:46]  Don't order alcohol is disrespect.
[01:11:48]  I sit down.
[01:11:50]  Shorey sits down.
[01:11:51]  Green tea, green tea right there.
[01:11:54]  Piping hot.
[01:11:56]  Piping hot.
[01:11:57]  You're even more excited.
[01:11:58]  I'm so excited, but it was so hot.
[01:12:00]  Oh, gosh.
[01:12:02]  I tried to drink.
[01:12:03]  I had to put it back down, let it cool off.
[01:12:04]  I had to let it cool off.
[01:12:06]  It was so piping hot.
[01:12:07]  It was piping, bro.
[01:12:10]  What was it?
[01:12:11]  Piping, bro.
[01:12:12]  Son, it was piping, right?
[01:12:15]  We get the first piece of sushi, right?
[01:12:18]  I put it in my mouth.
[01:12:21]  I take two bites.
[01:12:24]  Almost threw up on Jiro's son.
[01:12:29]  Almost threw up on Jiro's son.
[01:12:31]  The wasabi started to crawl down my nose.
[01:12:34]  Okay?
[01:12:35]  The wasabi is crawling down my nose.
[01:12:38]  I'm trying to hold it in, and then I realize if I don't suck this back, I'm going to throw up all over Jiro's son.
[01:12:47]  So I go, I suck all the horseradish or whatever the wasabi you made out of back up into my nose.
[01:12:53]  I'm like, okay, maybe that's expanding our palate.
[01:12:56]  He's just setting the tone.
[01:13:00]  Right?
[01:13:01]  I take another sip, piping hot fucking green tea.
[01:13:05]  Boiling hot green tea, point it down.
[01:13:08]  Next piece of sushi comes right away.
[01:13:10]  Once you're in there, you're fucking in there.
[01:13:13]  It's on.
[01:13:13]  Conveyor belt.
[01:13:16]  Take it.
[01:13:16]  We don't use chopsticks.
[01:13:18]  We read.
[01:13:18]  You use your fingers.
[01:13:19]  Home.
[01:13:22]  Second piece of sushi.
[01:13:23]  More wasabi.
[01:13:27]  When I tell you I almost left the restaurant to throw up, I'm being 100% honest with you.
[01:13:34]  Keep in mind, I had fresh sushi from the fish market this morning.
[01:13:38]  No issue.
[01:13:39]  This is something specific to Jiro.
[01:13:41]  Two pieces in, almost threw up.
[01:13:44]  Take another sip of the green tea, boiling hot.
[01:13:48]  Just molten lava.
[01:13:51]  My whole mouth is burnt.
[01:13:53]  My tongue is burnt.
[01:13:54]  Everything's burned.
[01:13:55]  But you know what?
[01:13:55]  I'm actually grateful because now I can taste the wasabi less than my whole mouth is burnt, right?
[01:14:00]  A guy comes up.
[01:14:01]  He starts about to pour more green tea into my cup, right?
[01:14:05]  Green tier.
[01:14:08]  Really?
[01:14:10]  I go, I go, no, no, no, thank you, no, thank you.
[01:14:13]  He looks at me in front of my shorty, in front of Jiro, in front of Jiro Jr.
[01:14:21]  And he goes, oh, it's a free.
[01:14:33]  I just paid $1,000.
[01:14:35]  You think I can't afford whatever the fuck the cost of a little extra green tea would be?
[01:14:41]  To say that to me was mind-boggling.
[01:14:44]  Mind-boggling.
[01:14:47]  No, I want to cool down.
[01:14:48]  They don't understand anything out there.
[01:14:50]  Nobody speaks English in Japan.
[01:14:53]  Go through the rest of the sushi.
[01:14:56]  10 of them were edible.
[01:14:58]  The other 10, horrific.
[01:15:00]  Horrific.
[01:15:02]  Inedible.
[01:15:03]  You couldn't eat it.
[01:15:04]  Even if you could eat with the wasabi, just didn't taste good.
[01:15:07]  Did she like it?
[01:15:08]  Hated it.
[01:15:09]  Really?
[01:15:09]  Hated it.
[01:15:11]  Hated it.
[01:15:12]  So what I don't understand is each piece was just covered with wasabi.
[01:15:16]  I thought, like, it's like they hid it underneath.
[01:15:18]  I don't know what happened, dude.
[01:15:20]  I honestly, I don't.
[01:15:21]  Listen, I wasn't around for Pearl Harbor.
[01:15:23]  I promise you, it was not as bad as what I had to do on behalf of the Japanese.
[01:15:32]  On behalf of the Japanese.
[01:15:34]  Like, as I'm eating this, I'm like, internment camps, yes.
[01:15:38]  Round them up.
[01:15:39]  Put them in the can.
[01:15:40]  Like, why do you let this is poison?
[01:15:43]  You're poisoning a human being.
[01:15:45]  Son, $1,000.
[01:15:48]  They just give the suicide bombers wasabis.
[01:15:51]  So they'd rather crash a plane and take them off.
[01:15:55]  In a heartbeat, dude.
[01:15:57]  Dude, I could not fucking believe it, bro.
[01:16:00]  Had Tal been to Jiro?
[01:16:03]  Had you heard from other people that it's not that great?
[01:16:06]  We go to a bar right afterwards.
[01:16:08]  It's called Barclay High Five, where they just make a cocktail for you based on what you like.
[01:16:12]  You just tell them a few things and they just potion up a cocktail.
[01:16:14]  It's really impressive.
[01:16:15]  And the first thing we said was, yeah, we just came from Jiro.
[01:16:18]  And the guy goes, didn't like it, huh?
[01:16:21]  Wow.
[01:16:21]  Everybody that goes there afterwards says the same thing.
[01:16:24]  It's a bullshit marketing ploy.
[01:16:29]  Don't go.
[01:16:30]  Don't waste your money.
[01:16:31]  The best sushi you'll have is in Tokyo and you can walk into any sushi restaurant and get it.
[01:16:37]  Don't waste your money on that fucking shit.
[01:16:42]  My guy, Premium Pete, he came to the Flagrant 2 podcast and it was a great time because we love Pete and he's so Italian and the gabagu and the motherfucker.
[01:16:54]  You know what I'm saying?
[01:16:55]  Yo, there's not a lot of relationships.
[01:16:58]  I enjoy more than my relationship with Premium Pete.
[01:17:02]  Where all I do is try to belittle everything he does and all Andrew does is say gay shit to make him uncomfortable.
[01:17:08]  And it was just really funny.
[01:17:09]  Pete randomly dropped into the studio for like, it was supposed to be 10 seconds.
[01:17:12]  And then we just dragged him onto the podcast and had again, I thought, just such a funny, fun riff with Premium Pete.
[01:17:18]  So check it out.
[01:17:19]  Here's Premium Pete's drop-in on Flagrant 2.
[01:17:24]  Get in there.
[01:17:24]  Get in there.
[01:17:25]  Peter Louis.
[01:17:28]  Yo, listen, we don't have the mic on, do we?
[01:17:31]  No, we don't.

=== Premium Pete's Surprise Drop-In (11:37) ===

[01:17:32]  Come say hi.
[01:17:33]  Come say hi.
[01:17:33]  Just say hello.
[01:17:35]  Come say hi.
[01:17:36]  What up, son?
[01:17:37]  You know fashion?
[01:17:38]  Yo, look at it.
[01:17:39]  Look at text on little brother.
[01:17:40]  Let's go, man.
[01:17:42]  Come bend down a little bit so you're in the frame.
[01:17:44]  So you're in the frame.
[01:17:45]  We don't do pause here.
[01:17:46]  We do fast forward.
[01:17:46]  This is Premium Pete.
[01:17:47]  Is there anything we want to say?
[01:17:49]  What's up, Internet?
[01:17:50]  Nothing.
[01:17:50]  Listen, the last couple episodes have been on fire, man.
[01:17:54]  Thank you.
[01:17:54]  Hey, appreciate that, man.
[01:17:56]  You got your little dick hard.
[01:17:59]  Indians don't got big dicks.
[01:18:01]  They don't have big dicks.
[01:18:02]  They don't.
[01:18:02]  I've been trying to tell people, man.
[01:18:03]  They don't believe us.
[01:18:04]  It's a lie.
[01:18:05]  It's a lie, bro.
[01:18:06]  No, you think that your dick is bigger than Akash's?
[01:18:08]  Absolutely.
[01:18:09]  Are you 100% sure?
[01:18:10]  You got 10 inches?
[01:18:11]  Italians are going to be a solid Poland's bird.
[01:18:13]  I bet nobody wants to know this.
[01:18:14]  Italians?
[01:18:15]  You guys speak into the microphone.
[01:18:16]  Italians, bro, these mics are actually good that they can hear me.
[01:18:18]  Just speaking to the picture.
[01:18:20]  Italians are known to be good lovers.
[01:18:23]  Yeah.
[01:18:23]  You know?
[01:18:24]  Now, Dominicans and Puerto Ricans, they're good to be good pussy eaters.
[01:18:28]  Right.
[01:18:29]  But Italians are very good romantic.
[01:18:31]  What the fuck are you talking about?
[01:18:33]  This is what we're talking about.
[01:18:35]  Okay, look, ready?
[01:18:36]  I want to know, do you think you have a bigger hog than that guy right there?
[01:18:40]  Absolutely.
[01:18:41]  There's one way we can find out.
[01:18:43]  I mean it.
[01:18:45]  Listen, 7,500 patrons.
[01:18:48]  No, no, where are you at now?
[01:18:49]  Wait for it.
[01:18:50]  70 for 6,000 something.
[01:18:52]  7,500 patrons.
[01:18:54]  You suck Akash's dick.
[01:18:56]  Wait for it.
[01:18:57]  Wait for it, bro.
[01:18:58]  Wait for it.
[01:19:00]  He sucks your dick.
[01:19:01]  It's 69.
[01:19:02]  And whoever gives up first, okay?
[01:19:05]  Whoever gives up, whoever gags first.
[01:19:09]  I'm just saying.
[01:19:10]  I go to church a lot.
[01:19:11]  Guys, I thought we were going to have a dick measuring concert night.
[01:19:14]  We are looking for all of that.
[01:19:16]  That's the best section.
[01:19:18]  That's the best way to measure a dick.
[01:19:20]  Yaba Daba Du!
[01:19:22]  Sagat ruler.
[01:19:23]  This is the way I measure my dick.
[01:19:24]  Yeah, yeah.
[01:19:24]  You know the cable vision remote?
[01:19:26]  Yeah.
[01:19:26]  Yeah, you take the batteries out of that.
[01:19:32]  You won't go into that shit.
[01:19:34]  I'm past that.
[01:19:42]  Take the batteries.
[01:19:43]  You did it, dude.
[01:19:44]  Still over here, son.
[01:19:45]  You're in the fucking frame.
[01:19:47]  Sit on Andrew Lant.
[01:19:48]  Let's not get comfy.
[01:19:49]  Come on.
[01:19:50]  Sit on his legs.
[01:19:51]  You guys are bad friends.
[01:19:52]  Guys, stop it.
[01:19:53]  Can you just sit on my mouth?
[01:19:54]  That's the end of the day.
[01:19:56]  Sit on my mouth, son.
[01:19:58]  That's it.
[01:19:59]  This is what happened.
[01:19:59]  First of all, what happened?
[01:20:00]  You're going to like this.
[01:20:01]  That's what's going to happen.
[01:20:02]  You're going to fucking like it.
[01:20:03]  You got a lot of gray in your beard.
[01:20:05]  It's okay.
[01:20:06]  I'll bring back the black hair.
[01:20:08]  You just got to sit on my mouth.
[01:20:11]  What's it?
[01:20:12]  Who you know is going to be sitting on the mouth?
[01:20:13]  Alex.
[01:20:15]  Alex's already done his time.
[01:20:17]  Wow.
[01:20:18]  It's Sweden, bro.
[01:20:19]  Wow.
[01:20:20]  That was.
[01:20:21]  Listen, go.
[01:20:22]  There's an international tour coming up for Andrew Schultz.
[01:20:24]  Yeah.
[01:20:24]  Okay, tell him where you're going.
[01:20:26]  All right.
[01:20:26]  I'm going to go right to your gooch.
[01:20:28]  I'm going to start right there.
[01:20:30]  I'm going to work it up.
[01:20:31]  But does anyone understand what's happening?
[01:20:33]  Alex is going to be a little bit more.
[01:20:33]  I don't understand what's happening.
[01:20:34]  Why at all?
[01:20:35]  Oh, God.
[01:20:36]  That's true.
[01:20:37]  That is true.
[01:20:37]  Did you trust him?
[01:20:40]  First of all, don't let them distract us from what's going on.
[01:20:43]  Okay?
[01:20:44]  We're talking about you guys sucking toes.
[01:20:47]  Okay?
[01:20:47]  Don't attack your straight.
[01:20:49]  Take your fucking jacket off.
[01:20:50]  Let's feel that music.
[01:20:51]  No, there's two.
[01:20:53]  Oh, boy, you're drinking water.
[01:20:55]  There's two evenly length tables.
[01:20:56]  You got a pen right here.
[01:20:57]  Hold on.
[01:20:58]  You just took a sip of hot water, okay?
[01:21:01]  You just made your throat a slip and slice.
[01:21:04]  The jacket's coming off.
[01:21:06]  Why are you taking off clothes, Pete?
[01:21:07]  Oh, straight.
[01:21:09]  He just showed the canon, bro.
[01:21:11]  Akash, he just showed the cannon.
[01:21:13]  Welcome to the gun show.
[01:21:15]  Real talk.
[01:21:16]  Okay, so Akash.
[01:21:17]  I'm down in front, Pete.
[01:21:18]  I don't understand.
[01:21:19]  I'm ready.
[01:21:20]  What you talking about, son?
[01:21:22]  Don't need to convince me.
[01:21:24]  Akash is about that life, bro.
[01:21:27]  Has he ever had an Italian?
[01:21:28]  Have you ever had an Italian?
[01:21:30]  Nah, son.
[01:21:30]  I'm not gay, dog.
[01:21:32]  Stop saying weird shit.
[01:21:33]  Wait, now you gotta hit on me.
[01:21:35]  You the one talking about fucking.
[01:21:37]  You walked in and talked about sucking cocks and fucking guys.
[01:21:40]  I know you did time, dog.
[01:21:42]  Don't let it get to you.
[01:21:43]  That was a good time.
[01:21:44]  Stop taking it wheel.
[01:21:45]  It was a good time.
[01:21:46]  No, but for real, Pete, we need to have an intervention with all your gay jokes because what we try to do on this show is we try to have a very straight heterosexual show.
[01:21:53]  And every time you come in here, I feel like you're always talking about being romantic with men's mouths.
[01:21:57]  This is true.
[01:21:59]  This is three for three at this point.
[01:22:00]  Am I wrong?
[01:22:02]  I don't see why you're on.
[01:22:03]  Before this, we're just sitting here.
[01:22:04]  We're talking, right?
[01:22:05]  We're talking about you bar.
[01:22:07]  We're talking about LeBarbal.
[01:22:08]  You come in here and immediately it's like, I want to gobble some fucking dicks.
[01:22:12]  You just talking about gobbling dicks.
[01:22:14]  You see, this is the first time.
[01:22:16]  This is the first time ever.
[01:22:17]  Don't go nowhere.
[01:22:19]  This is the first time ever switched gears out of the street.
[01:22:21]  Try your hardest.
[01:22:22]  Listen, try your hardest.
[01:22:24]  I want you to try your hardest to have a conversation with us, okay?
[01:22:27]  Without talking about spitting on a dude's chest and rubbing your balls off.
[01:22:31]  I never did that.
[01:22:31]  See, that's the problem.
[01:22:32]  It's so.
[01:22:33]  It's the problem.
[01:22:34]  What a big ass.
[01:22:35]  What a vivid.
[01:22:37]  You've done this a lot.
[01:22:38]  You go away.
[01:22:39]  You go away.
[01:22:40]  He just mops his balls on the chest like a car wash.
[01:22:44]  Just lands like that.
[01:22:48]  Pete, you walked right into this, man.
[01:22:50]  So that's a new talk.
[01:22:52]  Dance time.
[01:22:54]  He's sweating.
[01:22:55]  Dude, your back is sweaty, bro.
[01:22:58]  It's because it's turned on.
[01:22:59]  Okay.
[01:22:59]  Real talk.
[01:23:00]  So, can we have a conversation that has nothing to do with gay sex?
[01:23:03]  Is that possible?
[01:23:04]  But you have to tell us.
[01:23:05]  That's all I'm asking.
[01:23:06]  Dude.
[01:23:07]  Just for framing purposes.
[01:23:08]  He's not gay, bro.
[01:23:10]  Okay.
[01:23:10]  Oh, wow.
[01:23:13]  I'm here all night.
[01:23:14]  I'm here all night.
[01:23:15]  Dude, okay.
[01:23:16]  So, all right, you were saying something.
[01:23:18]  Remember, we were texting something on the phone.
[01:23:20]  You were saying you, you, what was you, what was it about?
[01:23:22]  About you were like, there's we should do ass to at what was it?
[01:23:27]  What was the exact thing you were saying?
[01:23:30]  It was asked to ask.
[01:23:31]  Was that the thing?
[01:23:32]  Oh, ask to ass.
[01:23:33]  Ask to mouth.
[01:23:33]  How you got sucked in?
[01:23:35]  What the fuck?
[01:23:37]  I never said how he got sucked in when you usually went sucking.
[01:23:41]  What do you mean, assume?
[01:23:43]  What are you talking about?
[01:23:44]  He's done.
[01:23:45]  You're in the whirlwind.
[01:23:46]  You're in the whirlwind.
[01:23:48]  Don't leave us.
[01:23:49]  You're in the whirlwind.
[01:23:51]  Okay, real talk.
[01:23:52]  Don't go nowhere.
[01:23:52]  Okay, go.
[01:23:53]  Get any knees on me.
[01:23:56]  Hey, that one's talking.
[01:23:58]  Alhamdulillah.
[01:23:59]  What are you praying for on your knees, Pete?
[01:24:03]  God, I don't know the response to that one.
[01:24:05]  What do you say when you say alhamdulillah?
[01:24:06]  I don't know, son.
[01:24:08]  Check it with me.
[01:24:08]  I can rush you.
[01:24:09]  And do your job.
[01:24:11]  Cook for me.
[01:24:14]  Adam Shaw.
[01:24:15]  Head of Shaw.
[01:24:16]  Yeah, and did you say I just thought that was funny?
[01:24:18]  That was funny.
[01:24:19]  That was funny.
[01:24:21]  Pete, shut the fuck up, dog.
[01:24:23]  What's your yammering about, dog?
[01:24:25]  What the fuck?
[01:24:26]  What's talking?
[01:24:27]  Send me, son.
[01:24:28]  Take his knees in.
[01:24:29]  All right, we're sharing this.
[01:24:30]  Listen, listen.
[01:24:31]  Listen, let's talk.
[01:24:32]  Premium Pete is on one knee.
[01:24:33]  Talk to me, son.
[01:24:34]  With his arm over Andrew's lap.
[01:24:35]  Come on.
[01:24:36]  Talk to me, son.
[01:24:37]  I was trying to make a point before he got hostile.
[01:24:39]  We're like 66% of the way where we would have got to.
[01:24:42]  What we should do is.
[01:24:43]  Hold on, Let's set up something when me and Akash have like an MMA fight.
[01:24:49]  How about we do this?
[01:24:50]  How about we do this?
[01:24:51]  You guys get hard and try to stick your dick as far as you can into a subway sandwich roll.
[01:24:56]  Okay?
[01:24:56]  And then we'll see at which point the dough stops moving out of the way.
[01:25:00]  And that's the guy who has the longer dish.
[01:25:02]  That's true.
[01:25:02]  And then we'll use it for a sandwich and eat it.
[01:25:05]  All right.
[01:25:06]  Wait, no.
[01:25:09]  No?
[01:25:10]  What will we do?
[01:25:12]  What we got?
[01:25:14]  That sounds like a great idea.
[01:25:16]  Listen, you walked into this, bro.
[01:25:18]  I didn't think I was walking into this.
[01:25:19]  What did you think you wanted to do?
[01:25:23]  I mud-wrestled this fuck.
[01:25:25]  You understand?
[01:25:25]  You will be mud wrestling.
[01:25:28]  That's what it's called.
[01:25:29]  When you put your face in that butthole.
[01:25:32]  No, no, no.
[01:25:33]  How you always try to not be gay and then say some wild, gay shit.
[01:25:35]  Yeah, you really mud wrestle?
[01:25:37]  Mud wrestle, bro?
[01:25:38]  No, no, no.
[01:25:39]  Yeah, do a little MMA.
[01:25:41]  Yeah, don't you want to chicken gizzard?
[01:25:43]  I'm going to mud wrestle, bro.
[01:25:44]  Mud wrestle.
[01:25:45]  I do a more mud wrestle.
[01:25:46]  You mud wrestle.
[01:25:47]  When you're fucking dudes, I'll do mud wrestling.
[01:25:49]  You've done it before?
[01:25:50]  You've mud-wrestled before.
[01:25:51]  No, no, no.
[01:25:51]  But I'll do it.
[01:25:52]  Straight out the mud.
[01:25:53]  That's what we're calling it.
[01:25:53]  Oh, straight out.
[01:25:55]  Okay, that's good marketing.
[01:25:56]  Okay.
[01:25:56]  As opposed to straight in the butt like you normally do.
[01:26:00]  Yo.
[01:26:01]  I wish he was away with me.
[01:26:02]  Real talk?
[01:26:03]  What'd you do?
[01:26:05]  Wait a minute.
[01:26:05]  By the way, do you mean like a trip to Cancun or do you mean like some when I had my times back in the day?
[01:26:11]  Yeah.
[01:26:12]  What did I do?
[01:26:13]  I pay my service.
[01:26:14]  That's a society.
[01:26:15]  Yes, there we go, Kevin.
[01:26:16]  Thank you, Kev.
[01:26:17]  If he was there, he would have been used as a rag doll.
[01:26:20]  He said your butt is currency.
[01:26:21]  Stop hitting on me, Pete.
[01:26:22]  God damn.
[01:26:23]  I'm not going to.
[01:26:24]  Yeah, tell me, tell me.
[01:26:26]  Hold on, hold on.
[01:26:26]  Is this what you call a date?
[01:26:27]  I need to tell you.
[01:26:28]  Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[01:26:29]  Go, go.
[01:26:29]  No, no, I'm just saying.
[01:26:30]  You know, the jail would have been different.
[01:26:32]  I'm going to start whacking off right now.
[01:26:39]  Send it as well.
[01:26:42]  This guy is a sick usage.
[01:26:43]  Just fucking relax, bro.
[01:26:45]  Okay, keep telling.
[01:26:45]  No, tell what would happen at jail.
[01:26:46]  What do you think would happen at jail?
[01:26:48]  No, if Akash was there, I'm just saying.
[01:26:50]  He would bring a different flavor.
[01:26:51]  Whoa, whoa, whoa.
[01:26:52]  All right.
[01:26:58]  You missed this whole thing.
[01:26:59]  I thought I was right in the position.
[01:27:00]  You might be all right.
[01:27:04]  Keep going, Pete.
[01:27:07]  Pete, keep going.
[01:27:08]  Keep telling us your story.
[01:27:09]  Pete, Pete, we want to hear the prison story.
[01:27:12]  Pete, we want to hear your prison.
[01:27:16]  We want to hear your prison story.
[01:27:17]  Hold on.
[01:27:18]  We want to hear you.
[01:27:19]  Oh, God.
[01:27:20]  All right.
[01:27:24]  Breaking down the best moments of the podcast this year is damn near impossible, but we tried anyway.
[01:27:29]  So clearly, if there's anything we forgot, hit us in the comment section, whether it's in YouTube, Discord, Patreon, Instagram, Twitter, whatever.
[01:27:38]  Hit us up.
[01:27:39]  But thank you guys so much for supporting us throughout this year.
[01:27:43]  2019 was massive for each and every one of us.
[01:27:46]  Akash, Andrew, Eden, Alex, myself.
[01:27:50]  And, you know, there's more to come, as you can tell, in 2020.
[01:27:54]  So thank you for rocking with us for the past two and a half years, I think.
[01:27:58]  Jeez, it's crazy.
[01:27:59]  And yeah.
[01:28:00]  Yo, you know what I realized doing this best of episode is that we're the fucking greatest.
[01:28:06]  Yes.
[01:28:06]  The rest of your podcast suck, dick.
[01:28:08]  They're not that funny.
[01:28:09]  We hard body hard moments.
[01:28:12]  This is the free episode.
[01:28:14]  Patreon moments are going to be funnier, but you ain't signed up yet, bitch ass.
[01:28:17]  We give away the crack for free.
[01:28:19]  For free, motherfucker.
[01:28:22]  It's not free.
[01:28:23]  We got a best of Patreon.
[01:28:24]  Y'all got to pay for that.
[01:28:25]  I want y'all to know, y'all patrons, y'all gave me a house.
[01:28:28]  Non-patrons, y'all helped a little bit too, you know, whatever.
[01:28:30]  But patrons, real shit, I owe y'all for real.
[01:28:32]  A home.
[01:28:33]  Thank you.
[01:28:33]  Thank you for not making Akash homeless.
[01:28:36]  Thank you for getting Andrew a multi-million dollar comedy special.
[01:28:40]  Thank you for getting Alex to quit his police gig.
[01:28:43]  Thank you for Eden for not fucking with turkeys anymore.
[01:28:48]  I don't know.
[01:28:48]  That didn't make sense.
[01:28:49]  But honestly, sincerely, asshole Army, we love you.
[01:28:54]  See you in 2020.
[01:28:56]  And if you thought 2019 was something y'all ain't seen shit yet.
[01:29:02]  No easy buckets water cooler commentary for your sports needs analysis by assholes.
[01:29:08]  God bless.
[01:29:08]  Give a tie, motherfucker.