Flagrant - Andrew Schulz & Akaash Singh - White People Saying The N-Word
Aired: 2019-12-13
Duration: 07:41


=== Defending The Indefensible (01:59) ===

[00:00:04]  Okay, we needed to we wanted to do something today to make sure that we could have this good old good old content, good old flagrancy, good old ever green content.
[00:00:19]  And I was thinking that in the spirit of flagrancy, maybe it'd be a great idea if we give a shot at defending the indefensible.
[00:00:31]  I go, let's just all come up with four things that you cannot defend, and then we do our best to defend them.
[00:00:39]  I threw out some easy, you know, global warming, sweatshops, Catholic Church touching boys, you know, the serial killer to kill all the gay guys.
[00:00:48]  Akash goes, me too, the bank bailout, killing Jeffrey Epstein.
[00:00:53]  Kaz just goes, white people saying the N-word.
[00:00:56]  That's the one we're going to start.
[00:00:57]  I said, first of all, first of all, first of all.
[00:01:01]  I need to hear this argument.
[00:01:02]  I gave mad options.
[00:01:04]  I'm just jumping to that one.
[00:01:05]  He gave two before that.
[00:01:08]  Everybody who's a comic knows there's a rule of three.
[00:01:11]  So you had this third one locked up and you were like, let me just think of two to start off the bit and then knock this shit out.
[00:01:17]  Two warning shots.
[00:01:18]  You know when you're in a group chat and you get the little exclamation point?
[00:01:21]  Remember the response.
[00:01:23]  The same time we hit it.
[00:01:24]  That's the exact same time we hit it.
[00:01:26]  Literally.
[00:01:28]  That's so funny.
[00:01:29]  So I would want to start there, but I also feel.
[00:01:35]  I could defend it?
[00:01:36]  No, I'm ready.
[00:01:37]  But I also feel in the spirit of protecting, of like warming this up, we start with another thing or two other things, and then we let you slam it home.
[00:01:47]  Okay.
[00:01:48]  Okay.
[00:01:48]  You're batting cleanup.
[00:01:49]  That works.
[00:01:50]  Okay.
[00:01:51]  So.
[00:01:51]  Sounds good.
[00:01:52]  Okay.
[00:01:54]  Okay.
[00:01:54]  So here's a thought that I had that was really fucked up.
[00:01:59]  But so, I mean, you guys choose.
[00:02:02]  Okay.
[00:02:02]  We have.

=== Gandhi Is The First Sweatshop (05:37) ===

[00:02:04]  Okay.
[00:02:04]  Sweatshops.
[00:02:05]  Is that good?
[00:02:05]  Sure.
[00:02:06]  Because we knock sweatshops a lot.
[00:02:07]  And I feel like aren't sweatshops better than cold shops?
[00:02:17]  Like, we act like sweating is the worst thing that can happen while you're working.
[00:02:22]  But that's because there's no...
[00:02:23]  Well, there's sweatshops because they're in hot countries.
[00:02:26]  They should be used in it.
[00:02:28]  It's not like they're moving them into the country.
[00:02:31]  It's also not like they're going home to air conditioning.
[00:02:33]  They got a palm tree.
[00:02:35]  They sit under the palm tree.
[00:02:36]  Now they actually have like a roof over their head, right?
[00:02:40]  I understand that they're sweating, but it's only sweaty to us.
[00:02:44]  Like when Americans, we go over there like, man, this is a sweatshop.
[00:02:47]  That's a shop.
[00:02:50]  Right?
[00:02:51]  Like, isn't there something to this?
[00:02:52]  Like, they don't realize how bad it is.
[00:02:55]  Do they have windows for cross-ventilation?
[00:02:57]  Because that's something you get outside.
[00:02:58]  I don't think they have much windows.
[00:03:00]  They probably blow just the same hot air in the same room.
[00:03:04]  Maybe like those big industrial fucking fans and shit.
[00:03:08]  The fucking loud and smelly and shit.
[00:03:12]  The public school gym class fans.
[00:03:15]  It's just the fucking Michael Jackson stands in front of the beginning of dangerous.
[00:03:22]  Those shits.
[00:03:24]  But do you understand what I'm trying to say?
[00:03:25]  Like, we make this huge deal about the sweatshop.
[00:03:28]  I mean, it's just, if you take away sweatshops, what are you going to use?
[00:03:34]  Throw your iPhone out the window.
[00:03:36]  Throw all your clothes out the window.
[00:03:38]  What are you fucking, you're Gandhi?
[00:03:39]  You're making your own clothes walking around?
[00:03:41]  He's made his own clothes.
[00:03:42]  Yeah, he did that.
[00:03:42]  He was just somehow.
[00:03:45]  He just rocked the same little sash.
[00:03:46]  How do you make his own clothes?
[00:03:47]  Yeah, yeah.
[00:03:48]  I mean, you saw what he was wearing.
[00:03:49]  He wasn't wearing like hoodies.
[00:03:50]  But he didn't make that.
[00:03:51]  He didn't show that.
[00:03:52]  Nah, he did that shit himself.
[00:03:54]  How?
[00:03:54]  I thought he just got it.
[00:03:55]  He told the wheel or whatever.
[00:03:57]  He didn't toggle it in?
[00:03:58]  What is he talking about?
[00:03:59]  He's just making shit up.
[00:04:01]  Gandhi made it so close.
[00:04:02]  No, no, no.
[00:04:03]  Just because you say it and you know we don't know don't mean it's true.
[00:04:06]  We're gonna give some pushback.
[00:04:08]  Here's the thing.
[00:04:08]  You know, you can't make sheets of fucking whatever it is.
[00:04:12]  He didn't grow his own cotton.
[00:04:13]  Not a toga.
[00:04:14]  How he made it then?
[00:04:14]  Doga.
[00:04:15]  Doga.
[00:04:17]  Kept his spinning wheel, made his own clothes, and refused to buy British cloth.
[00:04:20]  Oh, but he had a spinning wheel.
[00:04:21]  I'll give him some credit.
[00:04:22]  Yeah, he had the wheel.
[00:04:23]  That's what I said.
[00:04:24]  He had the wheel.
[00:04:25]  He didn't fucking sew it together.
[00:04:26]  He had the wheel.
[00:04:27]  I said it.
[00:04:27]  I thought it was called spinning wheel, and I didn't know it was that literal.
[00:04:30]  Yo, here when Akas does this, yo.
[00:04:33]  He'll say something so matter-of-fact that they're like, that's not right.
[00:04:36]  That can't be right.
[00:04:37]  And then it's like, absolutely on the fucking money.
[00:04:39]  You know what's crazy?
[00:04:40]  Of all the things Gandhi did, I'm most impressed that he made this.
[00:04:48]  Ain't nobody could free India by not eating.
[00:04:50]  Most Indians have been not eating.
[00:04:52]  Yo, he was just keeping an Indian.
[00:04:54]  Hey, we want to keep it flagrant?
[00:04:56]  What if some white dude saw Gandhi doing that and it was like, yo, I bet if we got like a thousand kids to do that?
[00:05:04]  Like, look at what this one guy just did, yo.
[00:05:06]  He's a little food.
[00:05:07]  He can survive all of this.
[00:05:12]  Bro, that's it.
[00:05:14]  Dude.
[00:05:14]  Okay, he was the original sweatshop.
[00:05:17]  You know what I mean?
[00:05:17]  That's why he had that little over-the-shoulder shit.
[00:05:19]  He was like, oh, it's hot here.
[00:05:21]  I need to make this breathable.
[00:05:22]  Ventilation in here.
[00:05:24]  Here's your cross vent.
[00:05:25]  Just raise your arms.
[00:05:26]  Cross vent.
[00:05:27]  Just click it to whatever Indian belt he had.
[00:05:31]  Real talk.
[00:05:32]  So Gandhi started sweatshops.
[00:05:34]  Gandhi is the first sweatshop.
[00:05:36]  Starving himself.
[00:05:38]  See?
[00:05:38]  Just working.
[00:05:41]  Son.
[00:05:42]  He started that shit.
[00:05:43]  What a dick.
[00:05:44]  And you praise him.
[00:05:46]  Yeah.
[00:05:46]  How you guys killed him?
[00:05:46]  You praise this guy.
[00:05:47]  That's your king.
[00:05:48]  That's my guy.
[00:05:49]  Fuck your king.
[00:05:50]  That's my guy.
[00:05:52]  That's my guy, man.
[00:05:53]  Damn.
[00:05:54]  Dude.
[00:05:56]  Dude, Gandhi's body was gross.
[00:05:58]  Son.
[00:05:59]  Yeah, he was not right.
[00:06:00]  Do a fucking push-up.
[00:06:02]  Yeah, like all that time, though.
[00:06:05]  No downward dog.
[00:06:06]  No fucking child's pose.
[00:06:09]  He could walk his ass off, though.
[00:06:10]  So we're defending sweatshops, right?
[00:06:12]  Yes.
[00:06:12]  Go.
[00:06:14]  That's why I defend it.
[00:06:15]  That's Gandhi's inspiration.
[00:06:16]  Like, we just carry the legacy forward.
[00:06:18]  Think of our entry-level jobs here in the States, like McDonald's and shit like that.
[00:06:22]  Yeah, shut the fuck up.
[00:06:23]  Jones, what's wrong, Al.
[00:06:24]  You know it.
[00:06:26]  Now all of a sudden, it's motherfucking talking to the beginning and shit.
[00:06:29]  Fuck all that, bro.
[00:06:30]  You thought we done?
[00:06:31]  You thought we just going for that whole shit now?
[00:06:35]  He wasn't waiting for his answers.
[00:06:37]  Oh, yeah, you know, with the guns, the sweatshops.
[00:06:39]  Gandhi would have told me what he did.
[00:06:41]  He would have.
[00:06:42]  Gandhi wouldn't sub nobody about it.
[00:06:45]  Actually, no, Gandhi, the ultimate sub, right?
[00:06:47]  I'm just not going to eat.
[00:06:51]  That's campaign.
[00:06:54]  Well, Gondy, what is wrong?
[00:06:56]  We'd like to know what the problem is.
[00:06:58]  Nothing, I'm just not hungry.
[00:07:01]  Real talk, you think Gandhi thought of civil disobedience by his wife just being a pain in the ass?
[00:07:07]  He's like, yo, this shit is offensive.
[00:07:11]  After all, Gandhi's like, all right, bitch, what do you fucking want?
[00:07:14]  God damn.
[00:07:17]  He's like, I need to light your gun.
[00:07:20]  I need to leave your ass.
[00:07:21]  Wait a minute.
[00:07:27]  Yo, what's up?
[00:07:28]  This is Akash.
[00:07:28]  That was a preview of our Patreon episode.
[00:07:31]  If you want the full thing, go to www.patreon.com slash flagrant2.
[00:07:36]  Join the illest community on earth.
[00:07:38]  Unless you're a social justice warrior, then you're just going to ruin the fun.