Flagrant - Andrew Schulz & Akaash Singh - For Patreon Ears Only
Aired: 2019-11-28
Duration: 06:38


=== Uplifting Celebration of Friends (02:55) ===

[00:00:00]  Guys, what's up?
[00:00:01]  It's Schultz.
[00:00:02]  I'm gonna be honest with you.
[00:00:04]  We're listening to the episode, the Patreon episode, trying to find a clip that we can post for this little snippet that we always post on the free feed.
[00:00:14]  I'm sitting here right now with Alex and Ed, and we are trying to find a clip that is appropriate enough to put on this feed, and we cannot find a clip.
[00:00:24]  Okay?
[00:00:26]  That's all I have to say.
[00:00:27]  We cannot find a we went off the rails.
[00:00:31]  Something happened.
[00:00:32]  I'm not sure what it was.
[00:00:34]  I think it was the turkey chili I had.
[00:00:36]  The ending of it is kind of wholesome.
[00:00:39]  We went through the things we're thankful for.
[00:00:41]  I'm going to include that clip, but literally nothing else is appropriate enough to include.
[00:00:47]  We were going crazy.
[00:00:50]  So happy Thanksgiving.
[00:00:53]  And for all you guys on Patreon, you'll know exactly what the fuck I'm talking about.
[00:01:00]  Peace.
[00:01:04]  In all seriousness, we have to.
[00:01:06]  I think we have to do something uplifting for the end of the episode.
[00:01:11]  Okay?
[00:01:16]  We have to.
[00:01:17]  We have to.
[00:01:18]  This is Thanksgiving.
[00:01:20]  This is celebration of food.
[00:01:22]  It's the celebration of family.
[00:01:24]  It's a celebration of friends, right?
[00:01:27]  It's a celebration.
[00:01:29]  So we need to celebrate friends.
[00:01:32]  Do we have friends here?
[00:01:33]  Yep.
[00:01:33]  Okay.
[00:01:34]  Do we have family here?
[00:01:36]  Absolutely.
[00:01:36]  This is family.
[00:01:39]  This is family.
[00:01:40]  Do you know?
[00:01:42]  We, we, what?
[00:01:45]  We need, we need to, we need to be together.
[00:01:49]  We need to bring everybody together.
[00:01:51]  Everybody listening right now.
[00:01:54]  Everybody listening right now.
[00:01:56]  Everybody has to come together.
[00:01:58]  Okay?
[00:02:01]  What, dude?
[00:02:02]  I'm trying to have a moment.
[00:02:04]  Bring it together.
[00:02:05]  Holy shear.
[00:02:09]  Benson.
[00:02:12]  You didn't know what you walked into.
[00:02:14]  Benson, you're in the spin cycle now.
[00:02:17]  Okay?
[00:02:19]  So we were talking about what we're thankful for.
[00:02:22]  I think that's a great way to end the episode.
[00:02:25]  Okay?
[00:02:26]  Benson, what are you thankful for?
[00:02:32]  Why don't you just stand right in front of the fucking camera?
[00:02:35]  Why don't you do that?
[00:02:36]  Holy shit.
[00:02:38]  Holy shit.
[00:02:39]  Was that you playing steal a bacon with me when we were a little younger?
[00:02:43]  No.
[00:02:44]  I think I'm thinking I'm thankful for everybody and everyone in my life and everything that's led me to this point in my life.
[00:02:51]  That's some gas shit to say.
[00:02:52]  Fuck you, bro.
[00:02:53]  Fuck out of here with that.

=== Grateful for That Hog (03:43) ===

[00:02:55]  That's some Christians.
[00:02:56]  They got to you, yo.
[00:02:57]  Them Christians got to you, bro.
[00:03:00]  Oh, shit.
[00:03:01]  Wow, spicy, dog.
[00:03:03]  Spicy.
[00:03:04]  Man is spicy.
[00:03:07]  Yo.
[00:03:08]  Yo.
[00:03:09]  Benson got tight.
[00:03:10]  He really did, bro.
[00:03:12]  He was like Matt Volunteer, son.
[00:03:14]  I know.
[00:03:15]  Yo, he'd be a man vulnerable.
[00:03:16]  Yeah, you thought that we were like a sincere, thoughtful podcast, and then you came with that boring ass Hallmark card.
[00:03:22]  You know, we want some real shit.
[00:03:24]  What are you grateful for?
[00:03:26]  Thankful for the flagrancy.
[00:03:31]  Yeah, that's a better answer.
[00:03:33]  That's a solid answer.
[00:03:33]  That's a solid answer.
[00:03:34]  All right, Alex, what are you thankful for besides melanin deficient people?
[00:03:42]  I'm thankful for vegans.
[00:03:44]  Vegans, okay?
[00:03:46]  Eden, what are you thankful for?
[00:03:50]  All the food I get to consume because I'm fat as fuck.
[00:03:53]  You're not that fat, dude.
[00:03:54]  I know, but it's more fun that way.
[00:03:56]  No.
[00:03:57]  He's not that fat.
[00:03:59]  It's not fat.
[00:03:59]  All the pussy you get to eat for Thanksgiving.
[00:04:01]  Oh, shit.
[00:04:02]  There you go.
[00:04:03]  I'm thankful for all the edding I get to eat Thanksgiving.
[00:04:10]  I am very thankful for friends, family, and all the people that got me here today.
[00:04:23]  No.
[00:04:25]  I am very thankful for, in all seriousness, I am very thankful for my dad's fucking hog, man.
[00:04:40]  My dad has a big dick, dude, and it's wild.
[00:04:43]  I've seen it.
[00:04:44]  You've seen it, right?
[00:04:44]  I've seen it.
[00:04:45]  You've seen it on soft, right?
[00:04:46]  Bruh.
[00:04:47]  And still, right?
[00:04:48]  Bruh.
[00:04:48]  Son.
[00:04:50]  Son.
[00:04:51]  On soft?
[00:04:53]  On soft, even when it's scrunched up?
[00:04:56]  Because sometimes it can get scrunched.
[00:04:59]  Son.
[00:05:00]  Impressivo, is it not?
[00:05:03]  Yo.
[00:05:04]  Son, my man left him impression.
[00:05:07]  Son, he did for real.
[00:05:10]  Son, I would honestly, like, when my dad would walk to the bathroom and I'd see his dick, I'd be like, I'd be like, oh, dad, stop.
[00:05:17]  But I'd be like, looking at it still.
[00:05:19]  I'd be like, dad, put something on.
[00:05:20]  But I'd be like, is that your dick, bro?
[00:05:22]  Like, when my dick grow into that dick, you know, still waiting.
[00:05:26]  So, so, but I'm thankful for that hog because that hog took up so much space in my mom, not a single sperm could fall out and leak out the sides.
[00:05:43]  So it, it really, all the sperm went going for the egg.
[00:05:47]  And the fastest one that got there when there was no sperm leaked out was me.
[00:05:53]  So I'm, I'm grateful for that hog, you know, and I'm grateful for that fucking hog, man.
[00:06:01]  That can on canon, canon, canon.
[00:06:07]  Real talk.
[00:06:09]  So, dad, I'm grateful for that.
[00:06:11]  That fucking hog.
[00:06:16]  That's it.
[00:06:18]  Yo, thank you guys for listening.
[00:06:24]  Yo, what's up?
[00:06:25]  This is Akash.
[00:06:26]  That was a preview of our Patreon episode.
[00:06:28]  If you want the full thing, go to www.patreon.com/slash flagrantrue.
[00:06:33]  Join the illest community on earth unless you're a social justice warrior.
[00:06:38]  Then you're just gonna learn the