Flagrant - Andrew Schulz & Akaash Singh - White Boy Fun
Aired: 2019-10-25
Duration: 15:31


=== Flagrant Question of the Week (08:52) ===

[00:00:04]  Let's go flagrant thought of the week Kaz.
[00:00:07]  Okay, yeah, Flagrant Thought of the Week.
[00:00:09]  We were just talking about it before we went on the air.
[00:00:13]  Tank was on lip service with Angela Yee.
[00:00:17]  And I don't know how this discussion got to where it was, but it ended up with him saying if you suck two dicks, you're not gay.
[00:00:25]  So my flagrant thought of the wee is more like a flagrant question of the week.
[00:00:29]  Like, what's the statue of limitations, I guess?
[00:00:33]  Or how many dicks make you gay?
[00:00:37]  It's a Tootsie Pop.
[00:00:40]  If two dicks don't make you gay.
[00:00:42]  My question is, how many dicks has Tank sucked?
[00:00:44]  That he's like, you can suck dicks plural and not be gay.
[00:00:47]  Listen.
[00:00:49]  I think.
[00:00:51]  Yo, how many dicks can you suck before you're gay?
[00:00:55]  Before I'm gay?
[00:00:59]  At least eight.
[00:01:07]  It's a good number.
[00:01:08]  It's a nice round number.
[00:01:10]  No, no, that's funny.
[00:01:12]  That's like, that's a funny way of looking at it.
[00:01:14]  It's like the cum erodes your straightness.
[00:01:17]  Like you're so confident in your heterosexuality, you could be sucking these dicks down like slim gyms.
[00:01:24]  Be like, nothing gonna make me gay.
[00:01:26]  But eventually.
[00:01:26]  I'm so heterosexual.
[00:01:28]  They're gonna put seven dicks in my mouth.
[00:01:30]  Yeah.
[00:01:31]  Synchoient.
[00:01:33]  Like seafood.
[00:01:33]  I think I like it.
[00:01:36]  It's like shrimp.
[00:01:38]  The first time you eat a shrimp, you're like, what the fuck is this?
[00:01:41]  And then all of a sudden.
[00:01:42]  Odd texture, a little slimy.
[00:01:45]  I don't like putting this shit in my mouth.
[00:01:47]  That's nick.
[00:01:50]  So that's the thing about suck.
[00:01:53]  Okay.
[00:01:54]  We would assume, let's say this.
[00:01:58]  Let's give one dick.
[00:02:00]  You can suck one dick before knowing certainly that you're gay.
[00:02:05]  Whose dick do you suck?
[00:02:06]  You have a bit about this, don't you?
[00:02:08]  No, I used to have a thing about like, how do you know that you don't like it because you haven't tried it?
[00:02:13]  Right?
[00:02:13]  Like tomatoes or radishes or any of these types of things.
[00:02:15]  Like, how do you know that you don't like dick if you truly haven't tried it, right?
[00:02:20]  I mean, I've never.
[00:02:22]  The bit that I had was like...
[00:02:24]  I know I'm not going to want to eat it.
[00:02:25]  Well, you don't know.
[00:02:26]  Maybe you do.
[00:02:28]  I think I'm good.
[00:02:29]  You don't know what type of shit.
[00:02:30]  Context clues, the smell.
[00:02:33]  Do you know how many horrible smelling foods we eat?
[00:02:36]  Like what?
[00:02:37]  Sushi?
[00:02:38]  Brussels sprouts last night.
[00:02:38]  Shit was rocking.
[00:02:39]  Yeah, Russell Sprouts.
[00:02:40]  Sushi be smelling like a lot of stuff.
[00:02:41]  Cauliflower smell like butt.
[00:02:43]  Cauliflowers smell like butt.
[00:02:44]  Chillins look disgusting.
[00:02:45]  I've never ate chitlins before, but I assume they're delicious.
[00:02:48]  All I'm saying is there are certain things that like look absolutely awful, but we still do it.
[00:02:53]  Now, if you're interested in doing it, you already know the answer to that question.
[00:02:58]  Yeah.
[00:02:59]  But we're not talking about interest.
[00:03:02]  We're just talking about it as a physical activity.
[00:03:05]  Got to test the gay.
[00:03:06]  Okay.
[00:03:07]  You go, you suck the dick.
[00:03:09]  Okay.
[00:03:09]  You're like, nah, do not like that.
[00:03:11]  Just like I thought.
[00:03:12]  Not gay.
[00:03:15]  Nah.
[00:03:15]  But like, I have a dick.
[00:03:17]  I have a dick.
[00:03:19]  And I've had women suck my dick.
[00:03:21]  I'm not sure if you're the rest of your life.
[00:03:22]  Say what?
[00:03:23]  You're bi for the rest of your life.
[00:03:24]  And we don't even really accept bi with dudes.
[00:03:26]  We're like, nah, dad, I don't think there's anything.
[00:03:28]  Okay, so if you just do it one time, never again, I'll let you say you're bi for the rest of your life.
[00:03:34]  What about this?
[00:03:34]  Suck your own dick.
[00:03:38]  Nah.
[00:03:39]  Suck your own dick.
[00:03:40]  Are you gay?
[00:03:40]  You already jerk off.
[00:03:41]  Suck your own dick, are you gay?
[00:03:43]  Nah, that was a rumor.
[00:03:44]  Suck your own dick or you're gay.
[00:03:47]  Go.
[00:03:47]  Wait, what?
[00:03:48]  Suck your own dick.
[00:03:50]  If you suck your own dick, are you gay or are you just jerking off with your mouth?
[00:03:54]  It's a hell of a question.
[00:03:56]  I'm serious.
[00:03:57]  Hell of a question.
[00:03:58]  I mean, we just.
[00:03:59]  Bro, because if you jerk off another dude, if you jerk off another dude, that's what I'm trying to get at.
[00:04:05]  If you jerk off another dude, that's gay, but if you jerk your cell phone all the time, you're straight.
[00:04:09]  So if you suck your own dick, is that gay?
[00:04:13]  It's not gay.
[00:04:15]  It's odd.
[00:04:16]  It's an odd choice.
[00:04:17]  It's something to do with your mouth.
[00:04:18]  Honestly, I emotionally agree with you, Alex.
[00:04:21]  Logically, he's right.
[00:04:22]  Now, real quick.
[00:04:23]  Real quick question.
[00:04:25]  It's like, if I'm sucking free, I'm just talking straight logic.
[00:04:29]  If you're sucking your own dick, right?
[00:04:31]  Do you swallow the nut or do you pull out and bust on your chest?
[00:04:34]  Oh, God.
[00:04:35]  That's too much.
[00:04:36]  That's too much, bro.
[00:04:37]  Do you?
[00:04:38]  You're nasty.
[00:04:39]  Do you?
[00:04:39]  Those are the options.
[00:04:41]  Yo, you're sucking your dick.
[00:04:42]  You could do no cleanup, gobble, gobble, right?
[00:04:45]  Or you pull out and then you just beat it right down on your chest.
[00:04:52]  Maybe you put a little towel over yourself.
[00:04:54]  Like a lobster.
[00:04:57]  Like you're eating at the boil.
[00:05:00]  It's going to be a messy one.
[00:05:04]  Oh, I got the spicy this time.
[00:05:08]  So that's the tricky thing.
[00:05:09]  We see the act of sucking dick as gay or women do it.
[00:05:13]  So no matter who does the dick sucking, be it you or if you do something else, it's automatically gay in our minds.
[00:05:20]  I think it's automatically gay.
[00:05:21]  Now, here's a question: jerk off a dude.
[00:05:25]  If you do that, is it gay?
[00:05:27]  Yes.
[00:05:28]  Yes.
[00:05:28]  Jokingly jerk off a dude.
[00:05:30]  Yes.
[00:05:31]  That's still still gay.
[00:05:33]  Not even if you're like, ah, he's crazy.
[00:05:38]  Yo, this is so crazy.
[00:05:40]  Here's my question.
[00:05:40]  If you're white, is it gay?
[00:05:42]  Because that's how you guys have fun sometimes.
[00:05:44]  That's true.
[00:05:44]  If you're black and like you share socks with your friend, you're gay.
[00:05:46]  Yeah, that's facts.
[00:05:48]  If our knuckles are a thousand.
[00:05:50]  You're gonna wear my socks, bro.
[00:05:51]  Pause, bro.
[00:05:52]  If our knuckles touch, that's gay.
[00:05:54]  That get flies.
[00:05:57]  Okay.
[00:05:58]  So jerk off white, white standard of what is gay, what's not gay.
[00:06:03]  Jerk off, jokingly jerk off.
[00:06:06]  Here we go.
[00:06:06]  Have you done this before?
[00:06:07]  No, that's Mad gay.
[00:06:11]  No, but I'm just saying, white.
[00:06:12]  I can totally see frat boys doing that shit.
[00:06:15]  I can totally see, like, we had a couple of comic books.
[00:06:17]  Oh, frat boys do gay shit all the time.
[00:06:20]  Son Lewis and Big J. Ogerson straight up made out.
[00:06:22]  There's a video of it.
[00:06:23]  They made out with each other, tongued each other down at a photo shoot.
[00:06:26]  Oh.
[00:06:28]  Did they do that shit just so people can't call them homophobic?
[00:06:31]  And is that gay?
[00:06:32]  Like, if you just want to get ahead of the PC police.
[00:06:35]  Oh, my God.
[00:06:36]  You just gotta make out with a dude or jerk off a dude.
[00:06:39]  Nah, you can't just jerk off a dude.
[00:06:41]  Okay, you're just sucking dick.
[00:06:42]  Sucking a dick for money.
[00:06:44]  Is that gay?
[00:06:44]  Yes.
[00:06:46]  Gay for pay.
[00:06:47]  I'm sorry.
[00:06:48]  You're gay.
[00:06:49]  No, the act is gay, but are you gay?
[00:06:52]  Yes.
[00:06:52]  Yes.
[00:06:53]  $100 million to suck dick.
[00:06:55]  Yes.
[00:06:56]  Yeah, I wouldn't be able to live.
[00:06:58]  What do you mean you wouldn't be able to live with yourself?
[00:07:00]  Because it's still very...
[00:07:02]  Damn.
[00:07:03]  Hold on.
[00:07:05]  This is my favorite thing.
[00:07:06]  Look at the standards.
[00:07:07]  I would never be able to live with myself.
[00:07:09]  $10 billion.
[00:07:10]  Stop it.
[00:07:11]  I'm not playing this game.
[00:07:14]  I'm not justifying.
[00:07:15]  All of a sudden, you can live.
[00:07:17]  All of a sudden, when it gets to the billions, you can live with yourself.
[00:07:21]  All of a sudden, we find a way.
[00:07:22]  People ask that question.
[00:07:23]  It's like, who's out here giving out $10 billion blowjobs anyway?
[00:07:28]  No, we're not saying it's worth it.
[00:07:30]  What we're saying is there could be somebody.
[00:07:32]  I mean, if I was like one of these guys.
[00:07:33]  This guy looking at it from the buyer's point of view.
[00:07:34]  I'm like, you know, like, why would you?
[00:07:37]  I'm saying that blowjobs.
[00:07:39]  What would I want you to be gay?
[00:07:41]  So why is I yell this?
[00:07:42]  You know, none of these billionaires got a sense of humor because the first thing I'd do if I was a multi-billionaire is I would test someone's gangster.
[00:07:50]  I'm like, yo, remember that game we was playing back in the day?
[00:07:53]  What would you do for a billion dollars?
[00:07:55]  Fucking, let's see.
[00:07:56]  Let's see what you would do.
[00:07:58]  Drop that chip.
[00:08:00]  You got to bring it out in cash, though, so he can really see what it's about.
[00:08:02]  Yeah, I mean, 10 million cash, bro.
[00:08:05]  Brief paces of cash?
[00:08:06]  It's a different thing, bro.
[00:08:08]  That's life-changing money.
[00:08:10]  Facts, bro.
[00:08:11]  One dick, yo.
[00:08:12]  Just not looking at it.
[00:08:13]  10 billion taxes.
[00:08:15]  That's free.
[00:08:15]  Shot in the mouth.
[00:08:16]  You already know.
[00:08:17]  Oh, that's my favorite thing.
[00:08:18]  Yo, that's my favorite thing.
[00:08:19]  One shot in the middle.
[00:08:20]  When you do this game with people, and then they go tax-free?
[00:08:25]  You know, they already agreed in their head.
[00:08:27]  They just trying to see exactly how much money they got to walk away.
[00:08:31]  So when somebody asked them how to get that money, it's like, listen, man.
[00:08:33]  You don't even tax it, bro.
[00:08:35]  Tax-free.
[00:08:36]  What am I supposed to say?
[00:08:37]  Nope.
[00:08:37]  I get it.
[00:08:39]  Point is, you would do it.
[00:08:40]  Everybody has a number for dick.
[00:08:41]  Everybody has a number for dick.
[00:08:43]  You just have a high number.
[00:08:44]  So you're a heteros.
[00:08:46]  Akash.
[00:08:47]  Your number.
[00:08:48]  Bro, I wouldn't accept money for some I already love.
[00:08:51]  That's a good way to play it, bro.
[00:08:54]  Yeah.
[00:08:54]  Good way to play it.

=== Life-Changing Money Facts (05:01) ===

[00:08:57]  Why desecrate a beautiful thing like this?
[00:08:59]  Bring money into it.
[00:09:00]  You know what I mean?
[00:09:01]  It cheapens it.
[00:09:03]  It's beautiful.
[00:09:05]  Once once.
[00:09:06]  All right, fair enough.
[00:09:07]  Have you guys ever tried to suck your own dick?
[00:09:09]  Yeah.
[00:09:10]  No.
[00:09:11]  I don't trust my own flexibility enough.
[00:09:13]  I can't even touch my fucking ankles.
[00:09:16]  This is as far down as I can get.
[00:09:17]  No, I'm talking about when you were a kid.
[00:09:19]  What?
[00:09:20]  When you're a kid.
[00:09:21]  Why am I saying that?
[00:09:24]  Why everything under age?
[00:09:27]  Everything underage, bro.
[00:09:29]  That's a good setup, though, because he's like, so you like sucking young dicks?
[00:09:34]  Yeah, that's a good ass.
[00:09:36]  Of course.
[00:09:37]  He's not stupid, son.
[00:09:38]  He's not stupid.
[00:09:40]  So you stop sucking dick once you turn 18.
[00:09:42]  Isn't that interesting?
[00:09:44]  Isn't that interesting?
[00:09:45]  You like that veal.
[00:09:47]  I'm trying to get it.
[00:09:49]  Veal.
[00:09:49]  Yo, you think pedophiles like veal?
[00:09:51]  You think like everything that they fuck with gotta be young?
[00:09:54]  Nah, I don't know if they like eating, but I bet they like jerk off the videos of the veal, like being fed, you know what I mean?
[00:10:00]  Tied up.
[00:10:01]  That's like their move.
[00:10:03]  That shit probably on the black web somewhere.
[00:10:05]  Son, that'd be so funny if they only ate baby foods as well.
[00:10:09]  Like baby.
[00:10:10]  Kerberts.
[00:10:10]  They eat baby carrots.
[00:10:12]  They eat like Cornish game hens, you know, like the little chickens.
[00:10:16]  Do you know what I mean?
[00:10:17]  Like.
[00:10:17]  I love a good hen.
[00:10:20]  That's a tender.
[00:10:21]  They choose chiclets.
[00:10:22]  Say what?
[00:10:23]  Eggs.
[00:10:23]  But eggs aren't even born yet.
[00:10:26]  Yeah.
[00:10:28]  They own it.
[00:10:28]  Okay.
[00:10:29]  Okay.
[00:10:30]  All right, what else we got?
[00:10:31]  What else we got?
[00:10:32]  Let's hop off these dicks.
[00:10:33]  What's worse?
[00:10:34]  Eating ass or eating a girl out on a period, but she's plugged up.
[00:10:40]  Dog, I eat ass all the time.
[00:10:44]  Hold on.
[00:10:44]  I got one.
[00:10:45]  Hold on.
[00:10:46]  This is good that you brought this up.
[00:10:48]  Is eating a girl's ass different from eating a guy's ass?
[00:10:51]  Very different.
[00:10:52]  Have you seen a guy's ass?
[00:10:54]  No, no.
[00:10:54]  They're awful.
[00:10:55]  Stop, stop.
[00:10:56]  Stop top.
[00:10:56]  Everything is boarded up.
[00:10:58]  All it is is the ass comes out through the glory hole, right?
[00:11:00]  It's the ass and some cheeks comes out and the cheeks are waxed.
[00:11:03]  It's completely waxed.
[00:11:04]  Everything, you don't know.
[00:11:06]  It's a girl's ass or a guy's ass.
[00:11:09]  Or a girl's ass or a guy's.
[00:11:10]  There's literally no way to tell.
[00:11:12]  That's like saying Megan Out with a girl versus Megan Out with a dude eyes closed.
[00:11:16]  Like, that's the same.
[00:11:17]  Like, you gotta see the face.
[00:11:20]  No, no, no, no, but you don't even know, right?
[00:11:22]  Would you rather do that or suck the dick?
[00:11:27]  Now, here's one little thing.
[00:11:28]  One little difference is this.
[00:11:29]  One little difference is this.
[00:11:30]  That's interesting.
[00:11:31]  Hold on, hold on.
[00:11:32]  Now, look.
[00:11:32]  Wait, could it be?
[00:11:34]  Just question.
[00:11:34]  Just a question.
[00:11:35]  So, so just the butt cheeks are sticking out through this hole, right?
[00:11:38]  Wait for it.
[00:11:40]  But when you're done eating the ass, right?
[00:11:42]  All of a sudden, he hops up and sticks his ball sack alcohol as well.
[00:11:46]  So the ball sack just hangs out like a turkey neck.
[00:11:50]  So it's just ass cheeks.
[00:11:53]  It's ass cheeks.
[00:11:55]  Bullshack angle now to prove that you actually hit a dude's ass.
[00:12:00]  But I've been telling you it was a dude's ass.
[00:12:07]  So it's not, it's not gay because when you did it, you didn't know it was a dude's ass.
[00:12:14]  Saul's like the end of a play.
[00:12:15]  Just shoot out.
[00:12:18]  Gobble.
[00:12:18]  Gobble.
[00:12:19]  Oh, my God.
[00:12:20]  Yo, that's the only thing about hating the dude's ass.
[00:12:22]  It's like making out with a tranny at a club.
[00:12:24]  That's not gay because you didn't know that it was a tranny.
[00:12:27]  You really thought it was a girl.
[00:12:28]  It's about intent.
[00:12:29]  You know what the thing is.
[00:12:30]  If it's eating the ass and it could be a girl or a guy, or is it just definitively a guy?
[00:12:34]  What?
[00:12:39]  What are you talking about right now?
[00:12:40]  Oh, gosh.
[00:12:42]  You are fucking wild, son.
[00:12:44]  Sounded like he was trying to work something out of his head.
[00:12:46]  He was like, because if it's a 50-50, I'm eating the ass.
[00:12:50]  There's no question.
[00:12:51]  It's no question.
[00:12:52]  He's like, guys, one time this situation has been a little bit more.
[00:12:57]  Yeah, you got a good point.
[00:12:58]  A dick is always a goddamn.
[00:13:00]  A dick is a god's dick.
[00:13:02]  You don't know.
[00:13:03]  So look.
[00:13:04]  Is it 50%?
[00:13:05]  Serious!
[00:13:06]  $1 million!
[00:13:07]  You got two asses!
[00:13:10]  You gotta choose the ass.
[00:13:12]  If it's the dude's ass at the end, then balls pluck plop just fuck out afterwards.
[00:13:17]  Would you do it?
[00:13:18]  1 million.
[00:13:20]  Where you don't know?
[00:13:21]  You don't know what you're after.
[00:13:23]  Yeah.
[00:13:23]  It could be a woman's ass.
[00:13:24]  It could be a woman.
[00:13:25]  One is a woman.
[00:13:26]  One is a man.
[00:13:27]  You have to choose whatever.
[00:13:29]  They're both immaculately clean.
[00:13:31]  They look exactly the same, right?
[00:13:33]  Asian girl's ass, Asian dude's ass.
[00:13:35]  They look no different from each other.
[00:13:38]  For $10 million, I'm going to be honest.
[00:13:40]  For $10 million, Lego.
[00:13:43]  Hold on.
[00:13:44]  $150,000.
[00:13:46]  No chance.
[00:13:47]  No chance.
[00:13:48]  No, it could be a girl's ass.
[00:13:50]  It could be a girl's ass.
[00:13:51]  It could be a girl's ass.
[00:13:52]  That's too big a risk.
[00:13:53]  Risk now worth rewarding.
[00:13:56]  It's not it.
[00:13:57]  That's not it.

=== Choosing Between Asses (01:33) ===

[00:13:58]  Just don't ask me that.
[00:14:01]  Yo, yo, yo, yo, Alex Media.
[00:14:04]  Alex Midia.
[00:14:05]  Oh, fuck.
[00:14:10]  Half a million dollars.
[00:14:12]  It's 50-50.
[00:14:13]  Yes?
[00:14:14]  Because for some reason.
[00:14:15]  How are you gay if it's the dude?
[00:14:16]  When the balls come out.
[00:14:17]  For some reason, it's not like eating ass is not as bad as sucking a dick.
[00:14:22]  I don't know what.
[00:14:23]  Because girls and guys have the same ass.
[00:14:24]  It's no ass at the end of the day.
[00:14:26]  And if you don't, it's kissing a hand.
[00:14:28]  You know what I think it is?
[00:14:29]  It's the act of penetration.
[00:14:31]  Like, if you're sucking a dick, like that dick is getting put in your mouth.
[00:14:35]  If you're getting fucked, you're getting fucked.
[00:14:37]  I mean, dicks are just inherently like.
[00:14:39]  So, Kaz, what's your number?
[00:14:40]  Son, you ain't staying out.
[00:14:41]  You ain't staying out of this.
[00:14:42]  Yo, yeah.
[00:14:42]  My number?
[00:14:43]  Yeah.
[00:14:44]  Ass cheeks.
[00:14:47]  Minimum.
[00:14:50]  I could roll the dice of 1.5.
[00:14:52]  1.5 mil?
[00:14:53]  I'm a cheap hoe.
[00:14:54]  I don't care.
[00:14:57]  I was thinking 2.5, and I was like, nah, that's not quite enough.
[00:15:00]  But 2.5, I mean, you bring me 2.5 million.
[00:15:03]  Yeah.
[00:15:04]  Come on.
[00:15:05]  What are you talking about?
[00:15:06]  He's like, just right in front of your face right now.
[00:15:09]  What are you really talking about?
[00:15:11]  Put the balls on my forehead.
[00:15:17]  Yo, what's up?
[00:15:18]  This is Akash.
[00:15:19]  That was a preview of our Patreon episode.
[00:15:21]  If you want the full thing, go to www.patreon.com slash flagrantru.
[00:15:26]  Join the illest community on earth.
[00:15:28]  Unless you're a social justice lawyer, then you're just going to ruin the fun.