Flagrant - Andrew Schulz & Akaash Singh - On Your Back & Wet Up
Aired: 2019-10-01
Duration: 01:59:18


=== Swamp Vibes and Native History (13:08) ===

[00:00:04]  What's up, everybody?
[00:00:05]  Welcome to Flagrant 2, No Easy Book.
[00:00:07]  It's analysis by assholes, water cooler commentary for your sports needs.
[00:00:10]  My name is Andrew Schultz.
[00:00:12]  I'm here with Akash Singh, real life Caz.
[00:00:14]  We got Alex Media Booth.
[00:00:18]  I don't know where the fuck Eden is.
[00:00:20]  Do you know where he is?
[00:00:22]  Did we get here about Eden at all?
[00:00:24]  No reaction.
[00:00:25]  I don't know.
[00:00:25]  Hope he's all right.
[00:00:26]  Probably family stuff.
[00:00:27]  Yeah, I hope he's Eden.
[00:00:29]  We're thinking about you.
[00:00:32]  We're back, baby.
[00:00:33]  We're back from Australia.
[00:00:35]  Eddie's all here almost.
[00:00:36]  It's almost back.
[00:00:39]  We had an amazing trip in Australia, man.
[00:00:41]  I got to thank Verve Promotions for bringing us out there.
[00:00:47]  We did, I don't know how many fucking shows we did, man.
[00:00:51]  Why are you smiling already?
[00:00:52]  Look like you had a show every five years.
[00:00:54]  It's going to blow me up soon.
[00:00:55]  I was about to actually.
[00:00:57]  I was fucking sick Australia by the time.
[00:01:00]  We got to shout out Verve Promotions first.
[00:01:02]  You know what I mean?
[00:01:02]  I get it.
[00:01:03]  We let this man do his thing.
[00:01:05]  Nah, you know, I was just like ready to go.
[00:01:07]  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
[00:01:08]  Dude, I got it.
[00:01:09]  You should be into Australia, though.
[00:01:10]  So nah, I was loving it in the beginning, and then I was like, all right.
[00:01:14]  I mean, there's all the like full-figured white women.
[00:01:16]  Country to Americans with weird ass accents.
[00:01:19]  That's really what it is.
[00:01:20]  We'll get into it.
[00:01:21]  But thank you so much for having us out.
[00:01:23]  Everybody who came out to the shows, man.
[00:01:24]  We sold out all the shows.
[00:01:26]  That's so dope.
[00:01:26]  It was unbelievable, man.
[00:01:28]  We were adding shows.
[00:01:29]  Like, it's crazy to be that far away from where you think your base is and be able to just fucking kill it out there.
[00:01:38]  So it was a lot of fun.
[00:01:40]  Now we can get into talking shit about Australia.
[00:01:42]  So Alex was ready to go towards the end.
[00:01:47]  But I don't even think you were into it until like five days in.
[00:01:51]  Nah, I was into it.
[00:01:52]  Nah, I was just jet lagged, but I was into it.
[00:01:54]  Bro, I was miserable, dude.
[00:01:56]  Really?
[00:01:57]  I was absolutely miserable for like the first four or five days.
[00:02:00]  I mean, your body clock's all fucked up.
[00:02:03]  I mean, when I went to Japan, I did not fuck with me like that.
[00:02:07]  Mark, here's the thing that I think fucked up.
[00:02:09]  So two things.
[00:02:12]  You got to set your expectations for Australia.
[00:02:16]  Australia is the closest place to America, culturally, that I've ever been.
[00:02:22]  It is closer than Canada.
[00:02:24]  Okay.
[00:02:25]  Interesting.
[00:02:25]  Canada, you feel like you're in Canada when you're there.
[00:02:28]  I've never been in Canada where like interacting with the people and stuff where I was like, oh, this is just like another state.
[00:02:33]  They have their own thing.
[00:02:35]  Australia is very similar.
[00:02:37]  It's very Western.
[00:02:38]  It's West, but specifically American.
[00:02:40]  They got the whole cowboy thing.
[00:02:41]  They're like rebellious.
[00:02:42]  You know what I mean?
[00:02:43]  Their history is kind of that.
[00:02:44]  They were like a prison colony, but then they come.
[00:02:46]  I didn't know fucking crocodile done thee, motherfuckers.
[00:02:49]  And it's crocodile done D?
[00:02:50]  That's fucking no different than the Swamp Whites.
[00:02:54]  What were they called?
[00:02:54]  Cajuns.
[00:02:55]  No, the Ducks.
[00:02:57]  Duck Dynasty.
[00:02:58]  You know, we got those people.
[00:02:59]  You know what I mean?
[00:03:00]  It's like, what?
[00:03:02]  The Swamp Whites?
[00:03:03]  Oh, the Swamp Whites are there.
[00:03:04]  What do you call it?
[00:03:05]  Cajun?
[00:03:07]  Swamp Whites.
[00:03:07]  Swamps.
[00:03:08]  Swamp Things.
[00:03:08]  Swamp Whites?
[00:03:09]  What are they called?
[00:03:09]  There's a show called Swamp Things or something like that.
[00:03:11]  Nah, it's Swamp Things was about like a monster.
[00:03:15]  It was a superhero, right?
[00:03:17]  Like from Monster, I think.
[00:03:19]  Swamp people.
[00:03:20]  Superhero, that's fucking disgusting.
[00:03:22]  Anyway, Scott Messby.
[00:03:24]  They're just running out of shit.
[00:03:26]  So here's the thing.
[00:03:27]  So you go, you fly.
[00:03:30]  It's like 30 hours of travel to get there, right?
[00:03:33]  Because you can't fly direct.
[00:03:34]  You have to either stop.
[00:03:35]  You can't stop or you stop.
[00:03:36]  And we slap in Hong Kong, right?
[00:03:39]  And we had some fun in Hong Kong.
[00:03:43]  How long?
[00:03:44]  We were there for like three hours, but we bought those masks that they wear.
[00:03:49]  Yeah, the surgical masks, the SARS masks, and we were just running around the airport and the SARS mask.
[00:03:53]  It was pretty sick.
[00:03:56]  And then we go there.
[00:03:56]  So we're traveling for 30 hours and then we started in this town called Adelaide, right?
[00:04:02]  Now, Adelaide is like this shitty fucking town.
[00:04:06]  I'm going to be honest, it's a shitty fucking town.
[00:04:08]  Okay.
[00:04:08]  I love performing stand-up at shitty towns because they appreciate it and they really want it, but it is a fucking shitty town.
[00:04:15]  Mark said it best.
[00:04:16]  He goes, I would rather fly into the Twin Towers than fly into Adelaide.
[00:04:21]  Somebody beat him to it.
[00:04:22]  Right?
[00:04:25]  So we start in Adelaide, and I think there's a little letdown there because you travel so far.
[00:04:30]  Yeah.
[00:04:30]  And you want this different experience because you're traveling so far.
[00:04:34]  Like when I traveled 16 hours to go to Japan, it was a different world.
[00:04:40]  As soon as you got off the plane, so justified it.
[00:04:42]  Yeah, everybody looks different.
[00:04:43]  Exactly.
[00:04:44]  It's like a Nintendo system once you land in Japan.
[00:04:45]  Boom!
[00:04:46]  You're there.
[00:04:46]  It's all Japanese people.
[00:04:47]  When we got off the plane in Australia, everybody spoke English, obviously.
[00:04:52]  But it's like we could have been in Kansas.
[00:04:54]  There's no difference.
[00:04:55]  No difference.
[00:04:56]  Did you feel any different?
[00:04:57]  No.
[00:04:58]  So Australia just feels like the Midwest of the Pacific, I guess?
[00:05:04]  It's an odd place.
[00:05:05]  So we'll get there.
[00:05:06]  So Adelaide was whatever.
[00:05:08]  Show was cool.
[00:05:09]  I mean, we're like destroyed.
[00:05:10]  We have zero energy.
[00:05:11]  Nobody's even talking to each other.
[00:05:12]  We're not even having fun.
[00:05:14]  It was like tough.
[00:05:15]  Before I even went on stage, I was like backsized.
[00:05:16]  Like I have my head down on something.
[00:05:18]  A guy came up to me to take a picture.
[00:05:20]  I was backstage and he goes, he goes, hey, what's up?
[00:05:23]  And he sees that I'm just like barely holding together.
[00:05:25]  He's like, all right, I'm going to let you do your thing.
[00:05:28]  Ask for the fucking picture, right?
[00:05:31]  So we get through that.
[00:05:32]  Next time we go to Perth.
[00:05:35]  Perth, way better.
[00:05:36]  Yeah.
[00:05:37]  Perth was better.
[00:05:38]  Perth, we surfed.
[00:05:39]  Okay.
[00:05:39]  All of us got in the water.
[00:05:40]  We were doing some skateboarding.
[00:05:43]  It's right underneath.
[00:05:44]  I was about to say, you can skateboard?
[00:05:46]  Alex is doing skateboarding.
[00:05:48]  Okay, okay.
[00:05:49]  Alex did it.
[00:05:50]  It's like surfing is easier than skateboarding.
[00:05:52]  The stakes are lower.
[00:05:53]  Yeah, exactly.
[00:05:54]  Yeah, it's water.
[00:05:55]  Skateboard.
[00:05:56]  You are wiping out.
[00:05:57]  And Mark tried to flex heavy and bust his ass, and Alex caught the whole thing.
[00:06:01]  It was amazing.
[00:06:02]  I mean, it was dying.
[00:06:02]  We were just dying.
[00:06:04]  Perth, beautiful city, right on the water.
[00:06:07]  But what's fascinating about Perth is it's all the way on the other side of the country.
[00:06:12]  No one even lives in Australia.
[00:06:13]  Australia is the size of America.
[00:06:15]  There's 25 million people in the whole country.
[00:06:18]  Yeah.
[00:06:18]  Yeah.
[00:06:18]  I didn't know it was the size of America, but I know nobody lives there.
[00:06:21]  Same size.
[00:06:22]  It's America.
[00:06:23]  25 million.
[00:06:23]  How many people live in Texas, Akash?
[00:06:26]  I don't know.
[00:06:27]  Probably 30.
[00:06:27]  Yeah.
[00:06:28]  It's 300 million in America.
[00:06:29]  380 million.
[00:06:30]  Something crazy.
[00:06:31]  It's like 8% of the population.
[00:06:33]  So that was amazing math that you did right now.
[00:06:37]  Like 10%, I'd be like, that's awesome.
[00:06:39]  Drop it down to a single ticket.
[00:06:42]  Like, it caught me in a wave.
[00:06:43]  That was amazing.
[00:06:45]  Yeah, we're going to lose.
[00:06:47]  We're going to get Indians on our side so we can fight these fucking Chinese.
[00:06:51]  Where shane kill us when you need them.
[00:06:55]  We don't like them either.
[00:06:57]  No, we're ready.
[00:06:59]  We were joking around because you know how they have those Hong Kong protests where they're like killing people and they have all this lasers going around.
[00:07:04]  So we were all fucking around like, dude, we're here for the EDM festival.
[00:07:08]  Is that what's going on down here?
[00:07:10]  So we're at Perth.
[00:07:11]  Way better, way nicer city.
[00:07:12]  We're starting to feel some vibes.
[00:07:14]  Beautiful fucking like theater that we performed at.
[00:07:18]  It was gorgeous.
[00:07:19]  Frio social, fun show.
[00:07:21]  Starting to feel a little bit better.
[00:07:23]  The thing about Perth that's so interesting, though, is it's cheaper in Australia to fly from Sydney or Melbourne in one of the main cities to Bali or Thailand than it is to fly to Perth in their own country.
[00:07:37]  Do you have to take it?
[00:07:38]  You always have to go to Sydney or Melbourne.
[00:07:40]  Is it always layover flights?
[00:07:42]  Oh, when you're in the country?
[00:07:43]  Yeah.
[00:07:44]  No, no, no.
[00:07:44]  Because Sydney and Melbourne, imagine like Sydney's like, I think North Carolina.
[00:07:50]  And then Melbourne is probably like Florida.
[00:07:53]  Okay.
[00:07:53]  And then there's Perth is probably like San Diego.
[00:07:56]  Okay.
[00:07:57]  Okay.
[00:07:58]  So much of it is uninhabited.
[00:08:00]  But most people would be like, well, I'm not going to go to that place right here.
[00:08:03]  I'll just go to Bali for even cheaper.
[00:08:05]  So it's super isolated.
[00:08:06]  Okay.
[00:08:06]  Even within their own country.
[00:08:07]  Like we were saying when we were there, they're perfectly set up for when the U.S. and China go through nuclear war and we kill each other all.
[00:08:16]  That's where we're going?
[00:08:16]  Dude, think about it.
[00:08:18]  Same exact space.
[00:08:19]  Island, same space.
[00:08:20]  All the infrastructure there.
[00:08:22]  Right?
[00:08:22]  Like natural minerals.
[00:08:26]  Like they're set up nuts.
[00:08:28]  No predators or nothing.
[00:08:30]  They got animals.
[00:08:31]  They got all their own food.
[00:08:32]  It's like they've been waiting in the cut.
[00:08:33]  200 years from now, Australia will be the spot.
[00:08:35]  If you.
[00:08:36]  They'll be inviting to us.
[00:08:38]  Hey, come on in.
[00:08:39]  I don't know, Australian.
[00:08:42]  Is that how it goes?
[00:08:43]  I don't know.
[00:08:43]  You did a Canadian ass.
[00:08:46]  Just come on in.
[00:08:47]  All right, Mike.
[00:08:48]  We got plenty of space.
[00:08:49]  All right.
[00:08:50]  There it is.
[00:08:50]  That's the Australian.
[00:08:52]  God damn.
[00:08:52]  So we're in Australia.
[00:08:53]  Perth was interesting, but it was kind of like a surf town.
[00:08:55]  We go to Brisbane, which is their Miami.
[00:08:57]  It feels just like Miami.
[00:08:58]  We're like waiting to find this Australian experience, right?
[00:09:01]  Because everything we're finding was so American.
[00:09:04]  It was very American.
[00:09:05]  And they'll even admit.
[00:09:06]  They'll be like, yeah, it's kind of similar, you know.
[00:09:08]  And we even went to Sydney, which is beautiful, and Melbourne, which is beautiful.
[00:09:12]  But we learned pretty, we learned a few days in that the experience of Australia is not the fucking art that you see or like the music or that kind of shit like that.
[00:09:22]  You know what I mean?
[00:09:23]  Like when you're like, I think cultural shit like that.
[00:09:26]  Like high culture.
[00:09:27]  Keep going.
[00:09:28]  They got like grimy white ass, fucking jungle ass dart fucking culture.
[00:09:34]  You know what I mean?
[00:09:35]  We're playing with kangaroos.
[00:09:36]  We got fucking rednecks.
[00:09:37]  Also, they're like rednecks.
[00:09:38]  They're fucking crocodiles.
[00:09:39]  They rednecks.
[00:09:41]  So they're rednecks, but right?
[00:09:43]  So think about, but the beauty of it is that like Southern Dorothy.
[00:09:47]  If a country dude says that shit, I'm like, oh, yeah.
[00:09:50]  Motherfuckers are crazy white people.
[00:09:52]  I'm good.
[00:09:52]  That's the thing because there was like a weird, you know, well, there's like a fucked up like slavery history for black people and white people in America, right?
[00:09:59]  But imagine there wasn't that.
[00:10:01]  Any black people that are in Australia outside the Aboriginals, the black people, like move there.
[00:10:06]  That's a pretty big outside, though.
[00:10:07]  You just think it's pretty big.
[00:10:09]  I think the Aboriginals got fucked.
[00:10:11]  No, They got body.
[00:10:13]  Like, they got body.
[00:10:15]  Like, that's not even question.
[00:10:16]  But, like, you don't even see them.
[00:10:17]  Yeah, they're like, they're our native.
[00:10:19]  Yeah, they're our aboriginals, right?
[00:10:20]  So, like, you don't see Native Americans.
[00:10:22]  So it's kind of like out of the thing is, it was crazy.
[00:10:29]  Like, you're not allowed to joke around about them at all.
[00:10:31]  Yeah, you got to explain Aboriginals because I don't think everybody knows that.
[00:10:34]  I'm still trying to process it.
[00:10:35]  I'm like, so he said the Native American analogy.
[00:10:37]  I was like, okay, I guess.
[00:10:38]  Okay, so Aboriginals are their Native Americans.
[00:10:41]  Okay.
[00:10:41]  Okay.
[00:10:42]  But they're black.
[00:10:43]  They're blackish.
[00:10:45]  They're kind of Indian.
[00:10:48]  No, they look like your people.
[00:10:51]  They're like a mix between Indian and Trinidadian.
[00:10:53]  Oh, you saw one.
[00:10:54]  Yeah, we saw a few.
[00:10:56]  Well, do you want to see more of kangaroos?
[00:10:58]  Oh, kangaroos.
[00:11:00]  Kangaroo.
[00:11:01]  Kangaroos by far.
[00:11:02]  And weirdly enough, and I'm getting a lot of trouble for saying this, but they were doing similar shit.
[00:11:06]  Like when you see them.
[00:11:10]  Explain how they're doing similar shit.
[00:11:12]  Just kind of sitting on the grass, hanging out.
[00:11:14]  Good leaping ability.
[00:11:18]  I'm telling you, it was very like similar.
[00:11:21]  And this is like natural.
[00:11:22]  Claws are a little unkempt.
[00:11:24]  Unkempt, nice claws.
[00:11:26]  There was a little baby inside of the ring.
[00:11:28]  She did hit a pouch, bro.
[00:11:30]  She had a fupa, and there was a full fucking Aboriginal baby in that shit.
[00:11:34]  Just pick up a fupa.
[00:11:35]  That's what girls' fupas really are.
[00:11:38]  You ever try to climb in a fat bitch's belly button?
[00:11:41]  That's about.
[00:11:43]  So, so they were like, you know, people told us even before they were like, you know, that's the group you do not talk about, blah, blah, blah.
[00:11:49]  Yeah.
[00:11:49]  I'm only saying, I'm opening.
[00:11:51]  Of course.
[00:11:51]  That's how you do it.
[00:11:53]  You can't stay on brand.
[00:11:54]  I got to stay on brand.
[00:11:56]  I mean, I can tell you a little bit.
[00:11:57]  We'll post the joke on Jonte says, but whenever you see them, it's kind of odd.
[00:12:01]  They're just like, they're like sitting in parks and relaxing, like just sitting on the grass, right?
[00:12:06]  Kangaroo face.
[00:12:07]  Kangaroo fish, right?
[00:12:08]  It's kind of kangarooish.
[00:12:09]  So they just be in the wild out there.
[00:12:11]  No, They're like parks.
[00:12:13]  Oh, okay.
[00:12:13]  But the Aboriginals be in the wild.
[00:12:16]  And they'd be kangarooing.
[00:12:19]  I feel super ignorant because I'm like, fuck.
[00:12:21]  If anybody asked me about Africa, oh, there's just lions hanging around there.
[00:12:24]  I'm like, no, motherfucker.
[00:12:26]  They have their areas for fucking the edibles.
[00:12:28]  That's why it's a reasonable question, right?
[00:12:30]  So we always saw them.
[00:12:33]  They'd just be sitting in these fucking, you know, in the parks on the grass and shit like that.
[00:12:37]  And so the joke I had, I said, is like, listen, I didn't know what the fucking Aboriginal was, right?
[00:12:42]  I've been walking around Australia the last week, like, man, black people here love picnics.
[00:12:48]  And then, and then, so what they do is they sit in the grass and like they'll just drink wine.
[00:12:53]  And then people kept telling me about how like it was this whole, you know, horrible, sordid past, and it's been so hard to get them to assimilate into white culture.
[00:13:00]  And I'm like, they're relaxing on a park drinking wine.
[00:13:05]  It's like Mission Abbott.
[00:13:06]  That's as white as it gets.
[00:13:08]  That's very native American.
[00:13:11]  That's all that's going on over there.

=== High Class Culture and Tipping (02:35) ===

[00:13:13]  It's what we love to do.
[00:13:15]  Like they figured this white shit out really well.
[00:13:17]  Jesus Christ.
[00:13:18]  So whatever.
[00:13:19]  I have a couple of more tags.
[00:13:20]  You're very Native American.
[00:13:21]  They just have their little plot of land and they just be getting drunk all the time.
[00:13:24]  That's the same shit we did to them here.
[00:13:25]  Just because I'm not sure.
[00:13:26]  Take that.
[00:13:27]  Son.
[00:13:28]  So it is what it is.
[00:13:30]  So they were like, do not, you know, talk, but we went after it.
[00:13:34]  Obviously, laid in.
[00:13:35]  It was fun.
[00:13:35]  But we learned from there that the cultural experience that you have in Australia is not the fuck, like you said, the what is it called?
[00:13:42]  Elitist.
[00:13:43]  Like the high-class culture.
[00:13:44]  High-class culture.
[00:13:45]  It's not like going to a Van Gogh museum or like the corny shit we do when we go to Europe.
[00:13:50]  The people are the culture.
[00:13:52]  Yeah.
[00:13:53]  And those fucking rednecks, they have this amazing slang.
[00:13:56]  Everything is short for something else.
[00:13:59]  They can speak completely English that we have no clue how it is.
[00:14:05]  And that's what you got to dig into.
[00:14:06]  You just got to hang out with them as a people.
[00:14:08]  That's what they have to offer.
[00:14:10]  And then food is eh.
[00:14:12]  Okay.
[00:14:12]  And matter of fact, they don't even have waiters.
[00:14:14]  Oh, God.
[00:14:15]  You just go and get your food yourself?
[00:14:16]  Son, that alone?
[00:14:18]  It's like a buffet.
[00:14:19]  I couldn't live there.
[00:14:20]  And even though I really like the country, there's no waiters because there's no tipping.
[00:14:24]  Shit is like Nando's.
[00:14:26]  You see Nando's in England?
[00:14:27]  Where you go?
[00:14:27]  You go to the counter.
[00:14:29]  Bug me out, dude.
[00:14:30]  Son, we would go to the counter.
[00:14:31]  I put this order in, and then they'd give me a stick with a number on top, and they'd like put that on your table.
[00:14:36]  And I'm like, all right, why don't you take this?
[00:14:39]  And then you bring my food when you're why am I involved in this whole process at all?
[00:14:44]  Okay.
[00:14:46]  You can't even order a drink without going back up to the bar.
[00:14:50]  This is no tipping.
[00:14:51]  We need to keep tipping.
[00:14:53]  Right.
[00:14:53]  100%.
[00:14:54]  Very important.
[00:14:56]  Point is, we had a guy with us, this guy, Zach, who's so fucking funny.
[00:15:00]  No, I'm not actually, I'm not against the no-waiter thing.
[00:15:02]  No, no, you wouldn't like it.
[00:15:03]  I'm not against it.
[00:15:05]  It's like less steps to like getting your food fucked with, probably.
[00:15:09]  Like, you don't have to be nice to motherfuckers.
[00:15:11]  You don't got a tip.
[00:15:12]  They'll probably spit in your food if like you say some wild stuff.
[00:15:14]  I don't hate tipping.
[00:15:17]  I'm not against it.
[00:15:18]  I'm just doing all the work myself.
[00:15:19]  Yeah.
[00:15:20]  All right.
[00:15:20]  Just give me the apron.
[00:15:21]  Just fucking ring the bell when the food's ready.
[00:15:23]  I'll go get it.
[00:15:24]  Stay home.
[00:15:26]  Get a girlfriend.
[00:15:27]  That's what you're describing.
[00:15:28]  Exactly.
[00:15:29]  That's what that is.
[00:15:31]  Being home with my girls almost.
[00:15:33]  It's great.
[00:15:34]  So it was, dude, this guy was telling us these fucking slang things.
[00:15:39]  This is our favorite.
[00:15:40]  I mean, this is my favorite.
[00:15:41]  It's mudden shrimp on the Bobbies.
[00:15:42]  Son.
[00:15:43]  Son, they don't even have that.
[00:15:44]  They don't have shrimp.
[00:15:46]  They don't even call it.
[00:15:47]  That's what I was going for.

=== Ben Simmons and Authenticity Lies (13:46) ===

[00:15:48]  What do people call shrimp in that part of the world?
[00:15:51]  Guppies?
[00:15:52]  I don't know.
[00:15:52]  Prawns.
[00:15:55]  Have you ever heard an Indian calling shrimp?
[00:15:58]  No, Thai.
[00:15:59]  Yeah, man.
[00:15:59]  I don't even eat that shit.
[00:16:00]  Really?
[00:16:01]  So Shrimp on the Barbie was this marketing campaign.
[00:16:04]  It's teaching us in Australia.
[00:16:05]  So this is the genius of Australia.
[00:16:07]  Some people in Australia realize what was their culture to give the world.
[00:16:11]  Like, what was the most successful Australian thing ever?
[00:16:13]  Crocodile Dundee.
[00:16:14]  Crocodile Dundee.
[00:16:15]  Right?
[00:16:16]  And what was good about Crocodile Dundee?
[00:16:19]  Wild Australian.
[00:16:20]  With ways of saying shit funny.
[00:16:22]  That's all it was.
[00:16:23]  It was just showing the people, right?
[00:16:25]  He's like their mascot.
[00:16:26]  He's the fucking mascot, right?
[00:16:28]  So it's like... Him and Ben Simmons.
[00:16:30]  Poor Ben.
[00:16:32]  And I guess Elia.
[00:16:35]  They've really fallen off since Crocodile Dundee.
[00:16:37]  Is he the Blackface of Australia?
[00:16:39]  Who?
[00:16:39]  Ben Simmons?
[00:16:40]  Crocodile Dundee.
[00:16:41]  They love that.
[00:16:41]  Ben Simmons.
[00:16:44]  I was like, what?
[00:16:49]  My man, bro.
[00:16:50]  I missed something.
[00:16:52]  I caught it back.
[00:16:53]  I had to ride the ring.
[00:16:53]  I had to leave back party.
[00:16:54]  He gave nothing.
[00:16:55]  I got it.
[00:16:57]  Sorry.
[00:16:58]  Yes.
[00:16:58]  Blackface of Australia.
[00:16:59]  Crocodile Dundee.
[00:17:00]  Gotcha.
[00:17:01]  That was racist, bro.
[00:17:02]  That was racist, Kaz.
[00:17:04]  Alex, can you step up and check Kaz, bro?
[00:17:07]  Jesus Christ.
[00:17:08]  So insensitive.
[00:17:09]  I like that.
[00:17:09]  I've been literally like the black face.
[00:17:13]  I thought, like, you know, like a face of black, whatever.
[00:17:16]  No.
[00:17:16]  Go.
[00:17:17]  If there is a black face, it's going to be an Aboriginal one.
[00:17:19]  It's not going to be Ben Simmons.
[00:17:21]  There aren't any, so there's no black face.
[00:17:23]  Oh, they're there.
[00:17:24]  Oh, it's there.
[00:17:24]  Son, they are there, bro.
[00:17:26]  Ben sits in the sun for a little bit.
[00:17:27]  He's Akash.
[00:17:28]  You think?
[00:17:28]  Yeah.
[00:17:29]  He's lighter than Akash.
[00:17:30]  Bro, these Aboriginals sit in the sun?
[00:17:32]  Nothing, bro.
[00:17:33]  Buffalo sit in the sun.
[00:17:35]  Dog, dude.
[00:17:36]  One looked at me.
[00:17:37]  I distinctly remember it to this day.
[00:17:40]  To this day.
[00:17:41]  Like, 40 years ago.
[00:17:45]  I see a lot of people, bro.
[00:17:48]  I've seen a lot of people, bro.
[00:17:50]  But I distinctly remember this guy looking at me, bro.
[00:17:54]  Dude, it was like us.
[00:17:55]  Remember the movie Us When You Found Your Tethered?
[00:17:57]  Yeah.
[00:17:58]  I think that's what Aboriginals are.
[00:18:00]  I think they're the tethered, bro.
[00:18:03]  I locked eyes with this motherfucker, dude, and he was kind of smiling and looking at me.
[00:18:07]  I swear to God, on my life, dog.
[00:18:09]  I swear to God, in my fucking life, if he would have gotten up off the grass and even walked towards me, I would have ran full, full speed in any direction away.
[00:18:20]  I swear to God, I've never been more afraid of my fucking entire life.
[00:18:24]  The guy was just sitting on the grass, drinking wine, and he just locks eyes and starts to smile.
[00:18:28]  And, dog, I would have thrown Alex in front of a plus to save myself from that aboriginal.
[00:18:34]  You remember that?
[00:18:35]  Yeah, holy shit.
[00:18:37]  Anyway, we had a great one.
[00:18:38]  The best slang that we learned there was, this is what you say to your girl when you're ready to fuck.
[00:18:42]  You go, on your back, and wet up.
[00:18:50]  I like that style, yo.
[00:18:53]  And then you go, no extra shit, straight to business.
[00:18:57]  I'm not coming over there till you're sizzling at the slit.
[00:19:04]  Oh, my God.
[00:19:05]  Sizzling at the slit.
[00:19:06]  Sizzling at the slit, bro.
[00:19:08]  I don't like it all that gets wet up.
[00:19:09]  That slang is dope.
[00:19:10]  Whatever slang was ill, right?
[00:19:12]  What's your favorite one, Al?
[00:19:14]  The big Australian girl saying, nigga.
[00:19:17]  Oh, that's right.
[00:19:19]  What?
[00:19:20]  Kaz, you'll love this.
[00:19:20]  That's what it is.
[00:19:22]  I love this international racism.
[00:19:25]  So we went out to dinner after a show.
[00:19:29]  And two white girls joined us.
[00:19:34]  Obviously.
[00:19:35]  Procured by Alex Media.
[00:19:36]  Stop.
[00:19:38]  Stop doing that.
[00:19:40]  You didn't procure them?
[00:19:41]  No.
[00:19:41]  Who procured them?
[00:19:42]  They were just fans from the show.
[00:19:44]  And how'd they get to dinner?
[00:19:51]  I'm not going to pull you up, Balance.
[00:19:52]  I'm going to let that.
[00:19:53]  Not gonna put it on me.
[00:19:55]  I'm not lying, Mom.
[00:19:57]  I got a shorty.
[00:19:58]  Someone got it.
[00:20:01]  Fans hung out.
[00:20:03]  Fans hung out of it.
[00:20:03]  They're just screaming the N-word and shit.
[00:20:05]  Fans hung out after the show.
[00:20:06]  All right, fans hung out after this.
[00:20:08]  Embrace that singleness, bro.
[00:20:10]  But it was just a bit more.
[00:20:10]  Just fan for all of us.
[00:20:12]  Fan sister.
[00:20:13]  That's interesting.
[00:20:14]  You let them stay even after they scream the N-Alex be getting so upset.
[00:20:17]  Alex be getting caught up in this shit and be so upset for no reason.
[00:20:21]  I don't see why.
[00:20:22]  Now you're getting thrown on the bus.
[00:20:23]  Come on, son.
[00:20:24]  I don't see why you fight it, yo.
[00:20:26]  You are camera, G. Every time a watch is a little bit more.
[00:20:29]  Alex FaceTiming some girl, right?
[00:20:30]  I don't even know who he's FaceTiming, right?
[00:20:34]  The Alex Gates side of this girl, right?
[00:20:36]  Yo, Alex, we just slept.
[00:20:38]  We talked four hours.
[00:20:40]  Alex and I be talking.
[00:20:43]  We can talk.
[00:20:46]  Listen, we haven't had a slept in maybe 24 hours.
[00:20:48]  He's drunk as fuck.
[00:20:49]  He's at the airport, right?
[00:20:50]  He's talking to someone on FaceTime, right?
[00:20:52]  And when Alex talks to girls and Facebook, this is something I do not understand.
[00:20:57]  So Alex just be like listening the whole time.
[00:21:04]  You gay motherfucker, son.
[00:21:06]  You be listening to this.
[00:21:08]  This is Al.
[00:21:08]  This is Albert when he's talking to these yo.
[00:21:10]  This is how he's talking.
[00:21:11]  He goes like this.
[00:21:13]  Literally, this volume.
[00:21:15]  This volume.
[00:21:16]  This volume.
[00:21:17]  He got his head in his shoulders like this.
[00:21:18]  This is how Alex be like this.
[00:21:20]  He looked like Grew.
[00:21:22]  He got his posture like this.
[00:21:23]  He's down like that.
[00:21:24]  Despicable Alex over here.
[00:21:28]  Like this.
[00:21:28]  This is how you be talking to him.
[00:21:30]  He goes, he'd be like, yes.
[00:21:33]  Oh, worry, how you feel about that?
[00:21:37]  And then, like, 12 minutes later, you just be like, yeah, that's crazy, though.
[00:21:43]  Right?
[00:21:44]  Literally, 12 straight minutes of these people talking.
[00:21:47]  So I don't know if he's talking to somebody.
[00:21:49]  He's holding the phone delicate in his shoulders.
[00:21:51]  So I'm like, yo, who are you talking to?
[00:21:52]  Right?
[00:21:54]  He talks to your mom, son.
[00:21:54]  He goes like this.
[00:21:55]  He goes like this.
[00:21:55]  He goes, he goes like this.
[00:21:56]  He got the phone.
[00:21:57]  He goes, he goes.
[00:22:00]  Yo, he gave me this.
[00:22:02]  He said, he gave me this.
[00:22:04]  You were wild, son.
[00:22:08]  Hold on.
[00:22:09]  Wilding, son.
[00:22:10]  Come on.
[00:22:11]  Come on.
[00:22:12]  That's cool.
[00:22:13]  We got to talk about that girl you invited out.
[00:22:16]  Talk about it.
[00:22:19]  Alex Sweaten.
[00:22:20]  Look at Alex Swann.
[00:22:22]  Talk about it.
[00:22:23]  Hold on, hold on, That's wild.
[00:22:27]  Because I'm not lying on you.
[00:22:29]  Now you lying on me.
[00:22:30]  Listen to the shoulders.
[00:22:31]  No, no, no, but you lying on me.
[00:22:33]  You lying on him.
[00:22:35]  No, you ain't single.
[00:22:36]  That's different.
[00:22:36]  No, you single.
[00:22:38]  You a single man, bro.
[00:22:40]  He's lying on me when I got a girl.
[00:22:41]  That's disrespectful.
[00:22:42]  Embellishing.
[00:22:43]  No, Same way like you're going to be.
[00:22:44]  No, You lying on me.
[00:22:46]  I didn't invite Brayson.
[00:22:48]  You didn't invite anybody out.
[00:22:48]  That's a lie.
[00:22:49]  That's a lie.
[00:22:50]  I'm not lying on you.
[00:22:51]  You heard that, Shelter.
[00:22:52]  You're embellishing.
[00:22:54]  Yeah, that's what we do.
[00:22:55]  Alex.
[00:22:56]  You're a single man.
[00:22:57]  Alex.
[00:23:01]  Say if I'm not.
[00:23:02]  You don't know who you are.
[00:23:02]  I know you're a man.
[00:23:03]  Talking to my mom.
[00:23:05]  Anyway, you're a successful young black single man who happens to FaceTime maybe one or many females at a time.
[00:23:12]  You are allowed to do this.
[00:23:14]  All right, so back there.
[00:23:16]  We're having fun, please.
[00:23:17]  We're having fun.
[00:23:18]  Jesus Christ.
[00:23:18]  See what I mean?
[00:23:19]  You want to not have fun?
[00:23:20]  Have a girlfriend like the rest of us.
[00:23:25]  Motherfucker tried to lie on me.
[00:23:26]  No, bro.
[00:23:27]  You tried to lie on me.
[00:23:29]  No.
[00:23:29]  The only way you can make a relationship less fun is by throwing out fake accusations.
[00:23:34]  He's already in the bottom, bro.
[00:23:36]  You know, you know, I'm out here being a great man.
[00:23:40]  I'm saying.
[00:23:41]  I'm out here being a great man.
[00:23:42]  You're going to lie on your boy when I'm being a great man, like real Judas.
[00:23:46]  Great being that.
[00:23:47]  Judas.
[00:23:47]  Great being that girl.
[00:23:49]  Let me tell you this motherfucker.
[00:23:51]  I go like this.
[00:23:51]  He gives me this look like, oh my god, we walk into the airport, right?
[00:23:56]  We walk into that, we walk into the flight, and now we go.
[00:23:59]  So we're gonna fight.
[00:24:00]  I'm like, I'm like, he goes, he goes, yo, he goes, yo, he goes, yo, yo, next time, don't do that shit.
[00:24:08]  I go, don't do what?
[00:24:09]  He goes, asking me who I'm FaceTime.
[00:24:12]  I'm like, I go, why?
[00:24:13]  He goes, I forgot her name.
[00:24:16]  That's not true.
[00:24:19]  That's not true.
[00:24:20]  I go, hold up, hold up.
[00:24:22]  That's not true, son.
[00:24:23]  So I gotta assume.
[00:24:24]  I go, you FaceTiming people, you don't know their names, huh?
[00:24:27]  You know how intimate that is.
[00:24:32]  You don't know their names.
[00:24:33]  We've all been there, bro.
[00:24:35]  That's true, son.
[00:24:36]  That's not true.
[00:24:37]  That's not true.
[00:24:38]  I love it.
[00:24:39]  Granted, granted, Alex had been up for 24 straight outside.
[00:24:41]  I respect.
[00:24:43]  He was up for 24 stars.
[00:24:44]  Because he was fucking a bitch.
[00:24:52]  You asked for this shit.
[00:24:53]  You asked for this shit.
[00:24:55]  I respect it, bro.
[00:24:56]  Real talk, son.
[00:24:57]  Fucking bullshit.
[00:24:59]  Fuck it, Alex.
[00:24:59]  Real talk.
[00:25:00]  He was telling these Aboriginal bitches he had fucking grass in his bed and shit like that.
[00:25:04]  They were running up to his room so goddamn quick.
[00:25:07]  I got grass and venos in the bed right now.
[00:25:12]  This is a great thing.
[00:25:13]  I'm not feeling for this podcast.
[00:25:16]  Just try to create some content.
[00:25:18]  Son, it's all entertainment.
[00:25:19]  That's all you got to do.
[00:25:21]  Alex, no bullshit, told this Aboriginal bitch that a carpet was indoor grass.
[00:25:25]  He told this Aboriginal jig just to get her up to the room.
[00:25:28]  He's like, no, no, we have been to indoor grass.
[00:25:31]  It's called Carpet.
[00:25:32]  Do you want to come up and I can show you what it's about?
[00:25:34]  And the Aboriginal boys.
[00:25:35]  Oh, man.
[00:25:36]  She was so excited.
[00:25:37]  So I had the wine ready and all that.
[00:25:38]  That's a layup, bro.
[00:25:39]  Anyway.
[00:25:40]  I was quite the man.
[00:25:40]  That's all.
[00:25:41]  It's only entertainment.
[00:25:42]  So you just got to indulge in the people of Australia, man.
[00:25:44]  They got great people.
[00:25:45]  Just like Alex and Austin.
[00:25:48]  You love those people out there in Australia, right?
[00:25:50]  Ain't you love those?
[00:25:51]  I soon you came out.
[00:25:52]  I was like, I knew you had fun out there.
[00:25:55]  Holy shit, man.
[00:25:57]  I've never been so.
[00:25:58]  I never, but I don't understand it.
[00:26:00]  How you just go wild, son.
[00:26:05]  Like, I understand you're on a date and you listen to a girl talk for 12 minutes because you know you're going to get pussy afterwards.
[00:26:10]  Son, it was my mom.
[00:26:11]  Son.
[00:26:12]  You know when your mom just talks and then you just have to say yeah, I don't know how to use a phone FaceTime.
[00:26:18]  That's the only way she sees me because you have me on the road all the time.
[00:26:21]  So she's the only way she sees me.
[00:26:23]  It's FaceTime.
[00:26:24]  This shit right there.
[00:26:24]  I've never seen a black guilty.
[00:26:26]  That's the textbook black guilty look is their arm suddenly like strained a little bit.
[00:26:31]  Like, dude, I don't know how to do it.
[00:26:33]  You don't want to see me.
[00:26:34]  He's a no-back.
[00:26:36]  I'm not even on camera.
[00:26:37]  I don't know what to do with this.
[00:26:38]  Andrew, like 12 minutes, and at the end of that time, you don't get pussy.
[00:26:44]  That's what I don't understand about it.
[00:26:46]  Like, I don't understand the logic behind it.
[00:26:48]  Like, what do you get out of it?
[00:26:49]  He got enough pussy in Australia.
[00:26:51]  No, no, we know.
[00:26:52]  We know that.
[00:26:52]  But, like, what I don't understand, I don't understand the logic.
[00:26:55]  Like, and it's not like what's being said is so like, it's not like what's being said is so entertaining because he's not reacting at all.
[00:27:03]  Like, I thought he had fell asleep.
[00:27:04]  Right?
[00:27:05]  I was drunk.
[00:27:06]  24.
[00:27:07]  I thought you were drunk or sleepy.
[00:27:08]  So, what do you drunk FaceTiming your mom?
[00:27:11]  Maybe he had seen.
[00:27:12]  Because I got to check in.
[00:27:13]  Why?
[00:27:14]  Because she loves me.
[00:27:15]  Maybe he has sex with so many women in Australia.
[00:27:18]  Wild.
[00:27:19]  I should start listening to these bitches.
[00:27:22]  I had my feeling sex.
[00:27:24]  Let me see.
[00:27:24]  I'm all sexed out.
[00:27:26]  Let me see what these hoes got to say.
[00:27:28]  God damn.
[00:27:29]  This is all.
[00:27:29]  You're a good man, though.
[00:27:31]  Let me see what these hoes got to say.
[00:27:34]  All entertainment, don't believe me.
[00:27:35]  You're a good man.
[00:27:36]  Why are you so upset about this?
[00:27:38]  What's the big deal?
[00:27:39]  Because you're single, bro.
[00:27:41]  You enjoy single man.
[00:27:43]  You live a single man traveling the world.
[00:27:45]  Just filming, you know, taking in the sights and shit.
[00:27:49]  Everybody knows you, bro.
[00:27:50]  You can't.
[00:27:50]  I'm the cameraman angle all the time.
[00:27:52]  Everyone knows who you look like.
[00:27:53]  Everyone knows who you are.
[00:27:54]  Hey, can I give you one piece of advice?
[00:27:56]  I don't know.
[00:27:56]  Yo, you know they don't got Foster, though, over there.
[00:27:58]  Shut the fuck up.
[00:28:01]  Nobody gives a fuck about the beer.
[00:28:03]  Fucking dog.
[00:28:04]  You heard it about Foster.
[00:28:07]  Australian for beer, son.
[00:28:09]  No, no, no bullshit.
[00:28:10]  Foster's nowhere.
[00:28:11]  This is real talk.
[00:28:12]  No bullshit.
[00:28:13]  Everything that we think is popping in Australia doesn't exist.
[00:28:17]  Of course, man.
[00:28:18]  What do you mean?
[00:28:19]  I had already heard Foster's is from like Canada.
[00:28:21]  But why do you say, of course?
[00:28:22]  Because they don't got no fucking Outback Steakhouse over there.
[00:28:25]  They got Outback over there.
[00:28:26]  I'm like McDonald's for them.
[00:28:27]  It was like Outback Jackson.
[00:28:28]  Outback Jackson.
[00:28:29]  Somebody licensed Burger King over there, so they can't have Burger King.
[00:28:32]  So it's called Hungry Jacks, but everything else is the same.
[00:28:35]  The food is the same?
[00:28:36]  Yeah, it's a Burger King, but somebody else licensed.
[00:28:38]  But the point is, like, Yellowtail wine, you know that wine?
[00:28:41]  Yes.
[00:28:41]  Like, super popular Australian wine over here.
[00:28:44]  When I was trying to be fancy in college, you got some Yellowtail.
[00:28:47]  That's it.
[00:28:47]  Drink it all.
[00:28:48]  It doesn't even exist over there.
[00:28:49]  That's bullshit.
[00:28:50]  They got it, but they just don't really drink it.
[00:28:52]  They don't even know about it.
[00:28:53]  Foster's, they don't even know about.
[00:28:55]  They don't have shrimp on the Barbie.
[00:28:56]  Everything that they sell us that's theirs isn't actually their shit.
[00:29:00]  It's like General Sal's chicken.
[00:29:01]  I was about to say, that's Chinese food.
[00:29:03]  Like, you don't get boneless sesame.
[00:29:05]  Pretty much all the ethnic shit that we get, and I'm lumping Australian with that.
[00:29:08]  In America, it's not, like, truly authentic.
[00:29:10]  Sushi's probably as close as I could think of.
[00:29:13]  When you go to France, you could eat a baguette or a croissant.
[00:29:17]  You would think at least the white shit would be white.
[00:29:20]  Let's say that half of the world is like, I assume, like Indian food at a restaurant's not.
[00:29:24]  Yeah, because we can't be eating what y'all eat.
[00:29:26]  Do you know what I mean?
[00:29:26]  Our diet.
[00:29:28]  We can't eat that shit neither.
[00:29:29]  You got to whiten it up, but you shouldn't need to whiten up white people shit.
[00:29:32]  No, but they're like rugged whites.

=== Cultural Separation and Shrimp Bars (15:28) ===

[00:29:35]  You know what I mean?
[00:29:36]  What?
[00:29:37]  These are like rugged ass white people, Australians.
[00:29:39]  They are like, they're the trash.
[00:29:43]  They're like base-level meat over there.
[00:29:45]  Not like you go to Africa, like black countries have like goat and shit.
[00:29:49]  Everybody eats goat and fantastic cattle.
[00:29:51]  Cattle.
[00:29:53]  Best beef in the...
[00:29:54]  Son, second best beef we ever tried.
[00:29:55]  Second best beef I've ever tried in my life.
[00:29:57]  Pause.
[00:29:58]  Yeah, pause.
[00:30:01]  Nah, the steak.
[00:30:02]  What was the first?
[00:30:04]  Japan.
[00:30:05]  What was his name?
[00:30:06]  Oh.
[00:30:08]  Just kidding.
[00:30:13]  You didn't know that that's where they were going with it?
[00:30:16]  No, I didn't think about it.
[00:30:17]  I'm thinking about how Alex still trying to throw us off all the bitches he fucked.
[00:30:21]  I just don't feel.
[00:30:22]  Don't try to disrespect me as a distraction because I be doing that shit to my girl.
[00:30:25]  So I know.
[00:30:26]  I just don't understand.
[00:30:27]  If you're not in a relationship, what does it matter?
[00:30:30]  Chill, I just don't like talking about it.
[00:30:31]  I just say you don't want the black hot.
[00:30:33]  I get it.
[00:30:33]  Why not?
[00:30:34]  What trouble could you get in?
[00:30:35]  No, it's not true.
[00:30:36]  You're a single man.
[00:30:38]  You said like he was like about to go home and have no answer to the podcast.
[00:30:43]  Because he embellishes so much, and I look like a crazy ass hoe.
[00:30:47]  You talk about these girls for 12 minutes.
[00:30:51]  You're a black man.
[00:30:52]  You're not a hoe.
[00:30:53]  Only women are a hoe.
[00:30:58]  You seen the clip of that, bro?
[00:31:01]  Have you seen that clip?
[00:31:02]  Have you seen that clip?
[00:31:04]  Nah.
[00:31:04]  No, the guy goes, he's talking to Amber Rose.
[00:31:06]  I forget this guy's name.
[00:31:07]  He always wants to be on his show.
[00:31:09]  Nah.
[00:31:11]  Nah, no, no, no.
[00:31:12]  He's like this older black dude.
[00:31:13]  D-Ray?
[00:31:13]  And nah, nah.
[00:31:14]  He goes, he goes, D-Ray with a podcast with the funniest fucking thing ever.
[00:31:20]  Yo, him and Corey Ocum.
[00:31:22]  Oh, I love that.
[00:31:23]  That's the podcast I subscribe to.
[00:31:27]  I thought you were talking about the other D-Ray.
[00:31:28]  Gay D-Ray.
[00:31:29]  Gay Ray?
[00:31:31]  That's Gay Ray.
[00:31:31]  Gay Ray.
[00:31:32]  So what was the, what were we just talking about?
[00:31:35]  Talking about Amber Rose.
[00:31:36]  Oh, yeah.
[00:31:37]  So this guy, I forget this guy's name, but he's interviewing Amber Rose.
[00:31:39]  And he's like, slow, you're a slut.
[00:31:43]  And then she goes, she goes, well, she goes, why is it?
[00:31:47]  She goes, so you're saying if a girl has sex with a lot of guys, she's a slut.
[00:31:49]  And he goes, yes?
[00:31:52]  And then she goes, well, if a guy has sex with a lot of girls, what is he?
[00:31:56]  He goes, a slut maker.
[00:32:04]  Alex out here slut making, bro.
[00:32:09]  Oh, man.
[00:32:10]  I remember Amber was on a show we were doing.
[00:32:12]  Charlamagne and we were doing the show Say Forward or something where you had like dare celebrities to do shit.
[00:32:16]  And then he dared her to do something that would like.
[00:32:19]  Like I don't believe in slut walk or something like that.
[00:32:21]  And then you know her response?
[00:32:22]  I was like, see, now you fucking up my money.
[00:32:24]  Oh, about her money, bro.
[00:32:26]  Yeah.
[00:32:27]  I mean, think of all the sluts.
[00:32:29]  It's just money.
[00:32:30]  Yeah.
[00:32:30]  Like, there was no, there wasn't, like, what was the goal for the slut walk?
[00:32:34]  Like, what was the cause?
[00:32:36]  Right.
[00:32:37]  There's usually a cause for most of these things.
[00:32:39]  Like, there was no, like, okay, reproductive rights.
[00:32:43]  No, you know, we're going to make, we're going to get people registered to vote.
[00:32:48]  We're going to do something.
[00:32:48]  Like, what was the, you got all that, all of that organization every year with so many people.
[00:32:56]  Yeah.
[00:32:56]  It's 2019.
[00:32:58]  I can't look back and be like, all right, the Black Lives Matter marches.
[00:33:02]  I'm like, okay, we were marching for this because this happened.
[00:33:06]  Things have changed since then.
[00:33:08]  Slut walk started out.
[00:33:10]  It started out as like a.
[00:33:12]  And I'm not even being facetious.
[00:33:14]  Like, I legitimately never knew what the point of this.
[00:33:16]  What it was is like it was somebody, some girl, I think like a police sheriff or some shit made some accusation about a way a girl was dressed and that's why she was sexually assaulted.
[00:33:30]  Okay.
[00:33:30]  So the idea was it doesn't matter how we get dressed.
[00:33:33]  We shouldn't be sexually assaulted.
[00:33:34]  Got it.
[00:33:36]  How come they never said that?
[00:33:36]  Well, maybe they didn't say that.
[00:33:37]  I just never paid attention.
[00:33:38]  Look, it's fucking stupid.
[00:33:40]  All of it is fucking stupid.
[00:33:41]  I don't want to give away too much because I have like a bit where I reference it.
[00:33:44]  But the way you think about it is completely right.
[00:33:47]  It's fucking stupid.
[00:33:48]  They just got nothing to fucking do.
[00:33:52]  You can't.
[00:33:53]  It was a big thing at one point, right?
[00:33:54]  Like once left alone.
[00:33:56]  Nobody fucking cares about that shit.
[00:33:58]  I mean, like, it was a big event.
[00:33:59]  Like, remember they had 21 Savage over there walking around with his.
[00:34:02]  I'm a ho-to's.
[00:34:04]  Yeah.
[00:34:04]  I was like, damn, bro.
[00:34:05]  Damn.
[00:34:08]  I felt for them all.
[00:34:09]  That shit is so dumb.
[00:34:10]  Whatever.
[00:34:10]  Doesn't matter.
[00:34:11]  Anyway, cool time in Australia.
[00:34:12]  Thank you very much for having us.
[00:34:14]  But I agree, it was a far, it was a far time to be away for something that was similar.
[00:34:20]  Like we were talking about.
[00:34:21]  Oh, we didn't finish the story of the girl saying nigga.
[00:34:24]  Oh, yeah.
[00:34:24]  We didn't even start it.
[00:34:25]  So we're at this dinner and we're sitting down.
[00:34:32]  Alex, how does this even happen?
[00:34:37]  What's the conversation?
[00:34:38]  We asked where she was from.
[00:34:40]  Oh, yeah.
[00:34:41]  And she was from a place called Blacktown.
[00:34:44]  Got it.
[00:34:45]  Right?
[00:34:45]  Yeah.
[00:34:46]  You want me to finish it?
[00:34:47]  Yeah.
[00:34:48]  I can't really say it.
[00:34:49]  Yeah.
[00:34:50]  So we just asked her, why do they call it Blacktown?
[00:34:52]  And he's like, oh, that's where the niggas are.
[00:34:55]  She did not say that.
[00:34:56]  Yeah, she said, that's where the niggas are.
[00:34:59]  No, she did.
[00:35:01]  That wasn't it.
[00:35:02]  Yes, it was.
[00:35:03]  No, I'm not going to say the N-word.
[00:35:05]  I'll say something else.
[00:35:06]  I'll say zebra.
[00:35:09]  But it's got to be an animal.
[00:35:11]  Why you got to be an animal, Andrew?
[00:35:13]  Because you couldn't name it anything else.
[00:35:17]  Be careful.
[00:35:18]  I mean, the N-word has just worked perfectly fine for you this entire girl.
[00:35:25]  Let's just call it something else.
[00:35:28]  Generate biscuits and hot lobster.
[00:35:30]  Like, there's so many things we could go with, you know?
[00:35:33]  Layaweight programs.
[00:35:34]  Whatever.
[00:35:35]  I was really looking for something that was two syllables and it ended in an A. That's where I was going with it.
[00:35:40]  Why did you guys go to the animal thing so quickly?
[00:35:42]  You had a thing that you were calling black people for a while, no?
[00:35:46]  What was that?
[00:35:46]  You had like a substitute word.
[00:35:49]  I forgot what it was.
[00:35:49]  It was a couple episodes ago.
[00:35:51]  God damn, I forgot what you called it.
[00:35:53]  I would call black people?
[00:35:54]  No, no.
[00:35:55]  Black people call him Nilla.
[00:35:56]  Nilas, though.
[00:35:57]  Yo, watch your mouth, yo.
[00:35:58]  You can't say that.
[00:35:59]  Watch your fucking mouth, yo.
[00:36:01]  You know the fucking shit.
[00:36:01]  Watch your fucking mouth, yo.
[00:36:03]  No, That's not for you to say, yo.
[00:36:06]  Watch your fucking mouth, yo.
[00:36:07]  Have some respect, yo.
[00:36:09]  Yo, that's crazy, bro.
[00:36:10]  Bro, where I'm from, that's fighting words, bro.
[00:36:13]  It's in your map, man.
[00:36:15]  Real talk.
[00:36:16]  It's a great aim, by the way.
[00:36:17]  Real talk.
[00:36:17]  Real talk.
[00:36:18]  You're going to throw water like that when your relatives need that shit so badly.
[00:36:26]  You know, some of my best friends are Nilla's.
[00:36:31]  I would never, you know.
[00:36:33]  So, Nilla, right?
[00:36:36]  Okay, wait.
[00:36:36]  So, what she said some other shit.
[00:36:39]  That was it.
[00:36:40]  No, she said, she was like, she's just very embarrassed.
[00:36:44]  She's like, I'm from Blacktown.
[00:36:46]  Yeah.
[00:36:47]  Right?
[00:36:47]  And she's like, that's why I think that your big Nila dick could fit inside me.
[00:36:51]  That's what she said to you.
[00:36:52]  See, there you go.
[00:36:54]  It wasn't even funny.
[00:36:55]  It wasn't worth it.
[00:36:56]  It wasn't even worth it.
[00:37:02]  Did she just say that?
[00:37:09]  Poor Alex.
[00:37:10]  Did she really say that?
[00:37:11]  That's where the N-words are from.
[00:37:12]  Yeah, because remember her dad got punched in the face because he went down south.
[00:37:17]  And he said that?
[00:37:18]  He said something along the line, like maybe a word that sounded like nigga, and then he got punched in the face.
[00:37:27]  No, he said, I'm from Blacktown.
[00:37:29]  Oh, yeah.
[00:37:30]  He said, I'm from Blacktown.
[00:37:31]  And a black lady thought that was disrespectful.
[00:37:35]  Most of it.
[00:37:35]  From America?
[00:37:36]  Wow.
[00:37:36]  Yeah, it's so funny.
[00:37:38]  But is the name of the town actually called Blacktown?
[00:37:40]  I probably used the N-word a whole lot after that, huh?
[00:37:42]  Yeah, that's right.
[00:37:43]  I think it's like nickname Blacktown.
[00:37:45]  I don't know.
[00:37:45]  Oh, so it's not.
[00:37:46]  But no, no, that's the actual name of the moment.
[00:37:48]  Oh, it's the actual name.
[00:37:50]  Black people do live there, or the aboriginals live there.
[00:37:53]  Man, there's a group of them.
[00:37:55]  But she said, but we're getting away about what's so funny about this story: is that a white girl just screamed the N-word at dinner with all of us there.
[00:38:03]  And I think we asked her why.
[00:38:05]  Right?
[00:38:05]  She's like, why'd you feel so, why'd you do it or something?
[00:38:09]  Yeah.
[00:38:09]  She was just like, I don't know.
[00:38:11]  I was just going for it.
[00:38:16]  It was so funny.
[00:38:17]  So she's there with her boss.
[00:38:18]  Her boss looks like she's got a little aboriginal.
[00:38:21]  She looks like she got a little aboriginal in her.
[00:38:23]  So the girl who says nigga is like, she's trying to throw her boss under the bus.
[00:38:30]  She's like, oh my God, I can't believe I said that.
[00:38:32]  I've been telling her, we cannot say that.
[00:38:34]  We cannot say that.
[00:38:36]  And the other girl's like, what are you talking about?
[00:38:38]  I never said, why would you even have to tell me not to say it?
[00:38:41]  So you know both of them Jim DJ.
[00:38:44]  I missed this whole convo, bro.
[00:38:46]  Yeah, but so she's trying to throw him.
[00:38:48]  You're being faithful.
[00:38:49]  I don't listen to girls like you, apparently.
[00:38:53]  You start sending that little face time that night?
[00:38:56]  I was like, yeah, word.
[00:38:59]  How do you feel about that?
[00:39:00]  How do you feel about it?
[00:39:02]  It was, it wasn't.
[00:39:03]  It was pretty wild.
[00:39:03]  It was weird.
[00:39:04]  It was a weird scenario.
[00:39:06]  Yeah.
[00:39:06]  We all just looked at Alex to see his reaction.
[00:39:08]  Yeah.
[00:39:09]  I didn't really know what to do or not.
[00:39:10]  You never know what to do, right?
[00:39:12]  It wasn't malicious.
[00:39:13]  Yeah.
[00:39:14]  And you know, they don't have the same history as us.
[00:39:17]  Yeah.
[00:39:17]  So it's like, can I be mad at her?
[00:39:20]  Like, I could feel away about it because she knows it's wrong.
[00:39:23]  You got to say something.
[00:39:24]  Yeah.
[00:39:25]  But it's always like, what do you say in that moment?
[00:39:27]  She was super apologetic.
[00:39:28]  Yeah, but she wouldn't stop fucking apologizing.
[00:39:31]  If a white girl is hanging out with you and says that word white woman.
[00:39:38]  And a non-American white woman.
[00:39:40]  But like, yeah, exactly.
[00:39:41]  So there's like a little bit of cultural separation.
[00:39:44]  And she's saying that word.
[00:39:47]  I doubt there's malice behind it.
[00:39:49]  Yeah.
[00:39:50]  Yeah, that's what I'm saying.
[00:39:51]  Yeah, yeah.
[00:39:51]  I, I, I, like, I have a friend who wasn't born in this country.
[00:39:55]  Yeah.
[00:39:55]  Uh, born in uh, I think she's born in like Jerusalem or some shit.
[00:39:58]  But, like, the way she assimilated to American culture was listening to mad rap music.
[00:40:03]  Right.
[00:40:04]  So she had some old tweets pop up that, you know, whatever.
[00:40:07]  Oh, wow.
[00:40:07]  And she used to let the n-word fly a lot, like, quoting things.
[00:40:11]  Not really, really.
[00:40:11]  I'm not, she's younger than me.
[00:40:13]  Like, she's like, she's a kid.
[00:40:14]  You know what I'm saying?
[00:40:15]  So, like, I can understand that cultural divide of not really knowing that word, but still being in a position of like, all right, like, you got to know that this isn't, this isn't right, right?
[00:40:26]  And, like, she knew it, but she just didn't understand why.
[00:40:28]  So, I can understand Alex being in that position when these white women in Australia are just like, oh, well, you know, I'm sorry.
[00:40:35]  And, you know, N-words and shit like that.
[00:40:37]  Like, you don't, you never really know what to say because you want to be mad at them, but you understand like it's not completely your fault.
[00:40:45]  Am I making sense?
[00:40:46]  Yeah.
[00:40:46]  I also thought guy was testing me.
[00:40:48]  I was like, it was a year from the day I was in jail.
[00:40:50]  I was like, yo, you trying to put me back, son?
[00:40:53]  Who was this?
[00:40:53]  Is it a test, son?
[00:40:55]  Oh, my gosh.
[00:40:57]  God damn.
[00:40:59]  Anyway.
[00:41:00]  Damn.
[00:41:00]  Wild time.
[00:41:01]  Fun time in Australia.
[00:41:04]  Definitely, definitely cool to see all the assholes out there and just see everybody who showed up to the show.
[00:41:09]  And I mean, that was kind of, that's just kind of crazy to be on the other side of the world.
[00:41:12]  And also to see like the diversity at the show.
[00:41:18]  It's something I rarely comment on, but like the clubs and like the promoters and all them, like the guy, Zach, who was like our real country guy taking us on tour.
[00:41:30]  Like, I knew that this was like his first time interacting with this many black people because he learned that you had to use flash when taking pictures.
[00:41:41]  No, this is for real.
[00:41:42]  100%, right?
[00:41:44]  What are you alling about?
[00:41:45]  No, I'm going to continue.
[00:41:46]  It's facts, though.
[00:41:47]  I know.
[00:41:49]  What you awing about?
[00:41:50]  Just cultural division is just funny to me.
[00:41:53]  Well, he's only got white friends.
[00:41:54]  Why would they use flash?
[00:41:55]  Exactly.
[00:41:56]  That's why I'm just like, oh, man.
[00:41:57]  Like, we just had a conversation like five seconds ago.
[00:42:00]  It's like, you want to be upset, but it's like, well, it's like, yeah, he really doesn't know what black people look like.
[00:42:05]  Yeah, just like you thought there was kangaroos all over the sidewalks and shit.
[00:42:08]  No, I didn't.
[00:42:09]  I just compared it.
[00:42:10]  I compared it to Africa where people were like, oh, is there just lions and elephants?
[00:42:13]  You asked if they were everywhere.
[00:42:15]  I mean, I said it.
[00:42:16]  You said it because you said that's what I was doing.
[00:42:18]  Exactly.
[00:42:18]  What?
[00:42:19]  Yeah, you owned it.
[00:42:20]  You said, I feel bad because people ask me about Africa.
[00:42:23]  And I'm like, nah, but then here I am.
[00:42:24]  Yeah, okay, gotcha.
[00:42:25]  Right.
[00:42:25]  Right.
[00:42:26]  Same vein.
[00:42:26]  Anyway, continue.
[00:42:27]  Sorry, guys.
[00:42:28]  Black people got to cut this shit out where you want everybody to know everything about your culture and you know nothing about anybody else's culture.
[00:42:35]  We're fucking trying.
[00:42:36]  All right.
[00:42:36]  Let's fucking try it.
[00:42:37]  Try on yourself.
[00:42:38]  We're fucking with you.
[00:42:39]  Start with it.
[00:42:40]  There's a lot.
[00:42:40]  You've been through a lot.
[00:42:42]  God damn it.
[00:42:43]  Anyway, so where were we before Kaz started fully?
[00:42:48]  Take a picture of the slash show.
[00:42:50]  Yada yada yada.
[00:42:51]  Yeah.
[00:42:51]  And just like, so just seeing like all these people like realize what it can be.
[00:42:55]  Like everywhere.
[00:42:56]  It was just so dope.
[00:42:57]  It was so dope to see.
[00:42:58]  And especially when they have like a kind of like PC comedy scene.
[00:43:01]  Yeah.
[00:43:01]  And then you see like these, the PC people are always like these like liberal white people like we need to be more diverse.
[00:43:07]  We need to be more caring.
[00:43:08]  We need to be more open, more progressive.
[00:43:10]  And then I go in with the least PC act in the world.
[00:43:14]  And then my show is the most diverse.
[00:43:16]  Yeah.
[00:43:17]  And it was just this like moment where like even like the people at the club, they were like, yo, fuck these people.
[00:43:21]  This is how it's got to be.
[00:43:22]  Like, fuck these people kind of trying to run the scene.
[00:43:25]  This is how it's got to be.
[00:43:26]  But anyway, thank y'all so much for coming out, man.
[00:43:28]  We really appreciate it.
[00:43:29]  I'm surprised Australia has a big PC movement.
[00:43:30]  Every dude I've ever met from Australia is the most non-cuck white dude.
[00:43:37]  I remember I was at the Village Lantern where we came up and then it's like, you would just bark people in off the street.
[00:43:43]  Downstairs was a shitty ass comedy room.
[00:43:45]  We would get people in off the street, and we got like literally an entire Australian rugby team.
[00:43:50]  And I said some shit that one girl was offended by, and they liked me, and they just started booing the girl, and then they started rugby chanting her out of the room.
[00:43:58]  I started dancing along, and it was like a whole great scene because they were just not having it, man.
[00:44:03]  They were like, get the fuck out of here.
[00:44:05]  I love those hooligans.
[00:44:06]  Oh, they're hooligans?
[00:44:07]  Is that what they're called?
[00:44:08]  Nah, that's English soccer fans.
[00:44:09]  You don't know nothing about nobody else.
[00:44:11]  I'm asking.
[00:44:12]  That's all I'm doing.
[00:44:13]  White people ask about black people.
[00:44:17]  We should start giving cats an awesome every time he don't know everything about it.
[00:44:20]  Oh, you mean like hooligans?
[00:44:22]  And I've been corrected.
[00:44:24]  Sorry.
[00:44:26]  Doesn't feel comfortable.
[00:44:27]  Doesn't feel comfortable to be yelled at every time he asks a question.
[00:44:30]  Maybe it makes you want to not ask questions anymore.
[00:44:32]  And maybe that's why nobody knows anything about anybody.
[00:44:34]  Maybe you don't ask questions.
[00:44:35]  You just go walk in a voting booth and vote for Trump.
[00:44:37]  There you go.
[00:44:40]  I actually don't feel bad at all.
[00:44:41]  Hey, Lawrence.
[00:44:44]  That's not white guilt.
[00:44:45]  Like, I don't even have that shit.
[00:44:47]  Let me tell you something.
[00:44:48]  Akaz has zero white.
[00:44:50]  I don't give up.
[00:44:51]  One thing I know about Akash sick.
[00:44:54]  I could say it, and you may or may not believe me, but trust me, Akashi.
[00:45:00]  Absolutely.
[00:45:01]  So you think I care about cultures?

=== White Guilt and Koala Jokes (04:38) ===

[00:45:03]  The fuck?
[00:45:04]  There we go.
[00:45:05]  That's all I'm asking.
[00:45:07]  There we go.
[00:45:09]  Anyway, yeah, I'll share the rugby.
[00:45:11]  Great stuff.
[00:45:12]  The portes?
[00:45:14]  Let's go read.
[00:45:15]  Oh, yeah.
[00:45:15]  We got Bay Sampils.
[00:45:18]  Guys, let's take a break for a second.
[00:45:20]  We got to pay some bills.
[00:45:22]  It's football season, okay?
[00:45:24]  We know you're out there gambling on football.
[00:45:26]  We know it.
[00:45:27]  We know this happens.
[00:45:28]  Go make some bread.
[00:45:31]  Make some motherfucking money.
[00:45:33]  And if you're going to gamble, use my bookie.
[00:45:35]  Mybookie.ag or mybookie.com.
[00:45:38]  I think they both go to the exact same place.
[00:45:40]  But mybookie.ag, we're just going to put it right here.
[00:45:43]  Mybookie.ag.
[00:45:44]  You go there.
[00:45:45]  They have more spreads, more betting things than you could possibly imagine.
[00:45:49]  Okay.
[00:45:50]  You bet the first half and the second half.
[00:45:51]  You're getting your ass busted in the first half.
[00:45:53]  Put some money on the other team for that second half.
[00:45:55]  Do what you got to do at mybookie.com.
[00:45:58]  If you feel really lucky, play that parlay.
[00:46:00]  They pay out even more.
[00:46:01]  And the cool thing about my bookie is that they are going to double your first deposit up to $1,000.
[00:46:06]  That means you put in a thousand, they're going to match with a thousand.
[00:46:09]  You get your gamble on with that free money.
[00:46:10]  Use the promo code Flagrant to activate the offer.
[00:46:13]  That's promo code flagrant.
[00:46:15]  Visit mybookie.ag.
[00:46:17]  You play, you win, you get paid.
[00:46:19]  That's my bookie.
[00:46:20]  Let's get back to the show.
[00:46:22]  Guys, when we come back, we got some real rap beef.
[00:46:24]  We got some NBA rap beef going on.
[00:46:28]  Rap beef so good that you want to whack off to it.
[00:46:31]  So pop a blue chew.
[00:46:34]  Just make the weirdest weirdest ever.
[00:46:37]  You want to listen to Shaq and Dan go at it?
[00:46:39]  Pop that Blue Chew.
[00:46:40]  Get that two cards.
[00:46:41]  Stroke that call.
[00:46:43]  Just smoke that along.
[00:46:45]  Okay?
[00:46:46]  Got it, yo.
[00:46:47]  We have to equity with Blue Chew.
[00:46:48]  They got a lot of robots every week.
[00:46:51]  Dude, I'll do anything for Blue Chew.
[00:46:53]  Except jerk off to Shaq and Dan for rap beef.
[00:46:56]  Anything.
[00:46:57]  That's a funny Blue Chew challenge.
[00:46:58]  Take Blue Chew and whack off to the most non-sexual shit possible.
[00:47:04]  Yo, real fast.
[00:47:04]  And then tell us what it is.
[00:47:06]  Like a phone call with Alex.
[00:47:11]  That's how you know Blue Chew works.
[00:47:13]  Is we get Alex to FaceTime one of his friends.
[00:47:17]  My mom.
[00:47:18]  Take that Blue Chew and see if you can bust it out to the combo.
[00:47:22]  He just says like this.
[00:47:23]  Yeah, keep going.
[00:47:25]  Give it up.
[00:47:25]  And eight minutes later, just hits him on the chin.
[00:47:27]  All right, we done, yo.
[00:47:28]  I'll talk to you later.
[00:47:34]  I'm all at you.
[00:47:36]  Just keeps on slapping him.
[00:47:38]  I'm all at you in a second, yo.
[00:47:42]  Julie, you come on your Facebook.
[00:47:44]  I'll be busting on my face.
[00:47:46]  But real talk, this side.
[00:47:48]  Yo, no bullshit.
[00:47:49]  This side of my face is here more thick.
[00:47:52]  And I think it's like fertilizer.
[00:47:55]  Real talk, dog.
[00:47:57]  Come as like fertilizer.
[00:47:58]  It's like a murder ass.
[00:48:00]  Big night on it.
[00:48:03]  Just exfoliates.
[00:48:04]  Good exfoliation.
[00:48:06]  Then how Indian hoes be getting these sideburns.
[00:48:08]  That body's son.
[00:48:11]  So real talk.
[00:48:12]  Karma Sutra, bro.
[00:48:14]  It's years of Karma Sutra, bro.
[00:48:16]  Busted on every part of the body.
[00:48:17]  Got y'all hairy.
[00:48:19]  Got y'all hairy like some koalas.
[00:48:24]  Son.
[00:48:25]  It's koalas everywhere.
[00:48:28]  So, guys, real talk.
[00:48:30]  Remember the days when you used to bust on your face?
[00:48:39]  No bullshit.
[00:48:41]  No bullshit.
[00:48:42]  What's up?
[00:48:43]  Blue chew.
[00:48:43]  If you really want to do it, if you really want to do it.
[00:48:49]  All right, I'll tell y'all.
[00:48:53]  You pop that blue chew, right?
[00:48:56]  And then you know how girls use the waist shapers to like tighten up their dick?
[00:48:59]  Yeah.
[00:49:00]  You're their waist.
[00:49:02]  Yes.
[00:49:03]  Wait a minute.
[00:49:04]  Girls that y'all fuck don't got dicks.
[00:49:07]  We're not doing this smoking topic again.
[00:49:10]  Tell me fucking girls without dicks.
[00:49:13]  The first post about to get me banned from ID right here.
[00:49:16]  It would be beautiful if the first and third strike were both tranny posts.
[00:49:22]  Y'all really need to start fucking girls with some dicks, bro.
[00:49:26]  Yo, a dude at one of the shows, and we're going to get to this.
[00:49:29]  A dude at one of the shows came up with a good fucking idea.
[00:49:32]  I think I might have to take it for a joke.
[00:49:34]  But I was just talking to a crowd and just asking if they have any questions, whatever.
[00:49:38]  And he goes, How do you feel about trans women in sports?

=== Conservative Dudes and Dick Talk (02:04) ===

[00:49:41]  And I was like, man, I don't know, but it's weird that conservatives hate it so much.
[00:49:47]  He's like, why?
[00:49:47]  And I was like, because, you know, it's like they, you know, these like crazy, like, conservative dudes, not all conservatives, but the crazy ones.
[00:49:54]  Like, it's like, because if you beat your wife, you'd think it would be more fun for you to watch like men, you know, get to dominate women or whatever.
[00:50:02]  Yeah.
[00:50:03]  Then he goes, I was like, what do you think?
[00:50:06]  He goes, they should have their own league.
[00:50:10]  I'm like, yo, that's low-key genius.
[00:50:13]  Yeah, that seems like a great idea.
[00:50:15]  Tranny Football League because it's elite level football and tits.
[00:50:28]  Right?
[00:50:29]  So it's like, it's like the cheerleaders and the football players are the same.
[00:50:35]  You just get, it's like, you know, T and NBA.
[00:50:38]  Son, it's the TNN, bro.
[00:50:41]  Real talk.
[00:50:41]  Dude, think about how great it is.
[00:50:45]  That's out.
[00:50:46]  Think about how great it is.
[00:50:48]  You don't need cheerleaders.
[00:50:49]  It's like head and shoulders to two and ones.
[00:50:51]  Somebody is like shampoo and conditioner is cheerleaders and athletes together, bro.
[00:50:57]  That's sports.
[00:50:58]  That's entertainment.
[00:51:00]  So we have an amazing streak of transgender talk on this out on this damn podcast.
[00:51:06]  And these trainers keep flagging our shit.
[00:51:09]  No, he got nothing better to do.
[00:51:11]  Like, take some fucking estrogen.
[00:51:13]  No, y'all don't learn nothing from Chappelle.
[00:51:15]  Jesus.
[00:51:16]  You don't learn nothing from Chappelle.
[00:51:17]  Y'all know the team.
[00:51:18]  He's the most unsufferable out of the group.
[00:51:20]  Son, there's this trainer that came to my show, bro.
[00:51:24]  Oh, God.
[00:51:26]  We're not putting in a clip.
[00:51:27]  No, my man was putting in minimal effort.
[00:51:32]  Son.
[00:51:35]  Son.
[00:51:36]  Yo, but this is how Australia, son, this is how Australian he was, son.
[00:51:42]  Son, man, I'm all asked for her like this.

=== Chappelle Lessons and Trainer Drama (05:54) ===

[00:51:46]  Like, this is what he did.
[00:51:46]  He was like, I'm transitioning.
[00:51:49]  Done.
[00:51:56]  Gotta got him.
[00:52:00]  Just took his hat off.
[00:52:04]  It's like, Selila, he's like, I'm a lady now.
[00:52:08]  I'm liberated.
[00:52:10]  So my man came up to me after the lunch.
[00:52:13]  We take a picture and he says, man, fucking go.
[00:52:16]  My bad.
[00:52:19]  I can't even doc.
[00:52:21]  You know, I can't eat it, dog.
[00:52:23]  I forgot.
[00:52:24]  I forgot.
[00:52:24]  My man, whatever.
[00:52:25]  The guy.
[00:52:27]  You know who else forgot?
[00:52:28]  Oh, God.
[00:52:31]  Yo.
[00:52:32]  Can't you talk about banger ass line?
[00:52:35]  I said, you know who else forgot?
[00:52:36]  God, get it.
[00:52:38]  I heard it.
[00:52:39]  I heard it.
[00:52:40]  I heard it for you.
[00:52:42]  I heard it.
[00:52:42]  All right.
[00:52:43]  So she comes up to me at that line.
[00:52:49]  Take a picture.
[00:52:50]  And I know he's wearing some makeup.
[00:52:53]  But it's not much else going on.
[00:52:55]  It's just some makeup.
[00:52:57]  Right?
[00:52:58]  And he goes, he really looked like Sephora.
[00:53:03]  He ain't changed his voice.
[00:53:04]  Sephora girl.
[00:53:05]  Both of y'all look about the same.
[00:53:07]  He goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, all right.
[00:53:17]  I enjoyed your show, Mike.
[00:53:20]  I enjoyed your show, Mike.
[00:53:23]  I really love that tranny clip that you got.
[00:53:27]  You know, that tranny clip is so funny.
[00:53:29]  You know, I relate to it because I could transition back with a whip wipe, too.
[00:53:36]  He said it about himself.
[00:53:38]  That's great.
[00:53:39]  And I was like, holy shit, Australians are the best.
[00:53:42]  Even her trannies are fucking cool, man.
[00:53:44]  Oh, man.
[00:53:45]  All right.
[00:53:45]  So, Blue Chew.
[00:53:46]  So I pop the Blue Chew.
[00:53:49]  I bust his shit wide open.
[00:53:53]  He said, I bust his shoe.
[00:53:58]  I just had to sit there in the silence, bro.
[00:54:00]  That's all I had to do.
[00:54:01]  Okay.
[00:54:02]  So, no.
[00:54:02]  Blue Chew.com.
[00:54:04]  If y'all don't know about Blue Chew, come on.
[00:54:06]  Come on.
[00:54:06]  Get on the fucking board right now, okay?
[00:54:08]  Blue Chew.
[00:54:10]  Get that dick rock hard.
[00:54:12]  Okay.
[00:54:12]  Get out there and chew it up.
[00:54:14]  I came back from Australia.
[00:54:16]  I know I had to please my lady, bro.
[00:54:19]  I know I had to please my lady, but I knew I was finna bust off quick.
[00:54:22]  Okay.
[00:54:24]  I pop my blue.
[00:54:25]  First of all, I pop my blue chew.
[00:54:27]  I do my classic.
[00:54:28]  Pop the blue chew.
[00:54:29]  Go right at it.
[00:54:30]  Get the first one out.
[00:54:31]  The blue chew starts to kick in.
[00:54:33]  Run back.
[00:54:35]  Run it back for seconds.
[00:54:36]  Quick rinse.
[00:54:37]  Lay the hammer.
[00:54:38]  I mean, we can rinse.
[00:54:39]  You know what I mean?
[00:54:39]  You got to rinse.
[00:54:40]  You got to pee.
[00:54:40]  You got to clear the chamber.
[00:54:41]  Click, click, get the shell out.
[00:54:44]  Click, click.
[00:54:45]  You got to get the shell out like that.
[00:54:47]  Right?
[00:54:48]  You know what I'm saying?
[00:54:50]  You pop it, them shits pop out.
[00:54:52]  Smoke come out, all that.
[00:54:53]  Click, click.
[00:54:54]  Be back to good.
[00:54:57]  The shells all over the floor.
[00:54:58]  Rio Tuck.
[00:54:59]  I saw motherfuckers get pregnant on round two because there's sperms left over from round one.
[00:55:03]  Is that true?
[00:55:04]  Round two is more fresh.
[00:55:05]  The first round of sperm is like right at the door.
[00:55:07]  It's like Black Friday.
[00:55:09]  Like the first people that.
[00:55:14]  First second one is Cyber Monday.
[00:55:17]  Cyber Monday.
[00:55:21]  This is Cyber Sperm.
[00:55:23]  Blood Friday.
[00:55:26]  Oh, shit.
[00:55:29]  Oh, my God.
[00:55:30]  See a Blue Chew.
[00:55:32]  Blue Chew.com.
[00:55:34]  There it is.
[00:55:35]  You already know the offer code, Flagrant, okay?
[00:55:37]  Deserve.
[00:55:38]  You give your girl the time of your life.
[00:55:39]  You need to impress a little shorty.
[00:55:41]  You get out there, get it strong, get it thick.
[00:55:43]  Get it thick.
[00:55:46]  What?
[00:55:47]  Son, get it thick.
[00:55:49]  Get it thick.
[00:55:50]  You gotta get it thick.
[00:55:52]  You gotta get it.
[00:55:54]  You gotta get it so.
[00:56:02]  Son.
[00:56:03]  Real talk.
[00:56:05]  Yo, real talk.
[00:56:06]  When I first, when I feel, when I feel the Blue Chew kicking in, sometimes I'll be holding my breath and I just push all the breath into my dick to raise it up like that.
[00:56:15]  Like, sometimes, sometimes you gotta lean over.
[00:56:22]  You don't lean over so all the blood.
[00:56:26]  Yeah.
[00:56:27]  I call it the blue tip because the tip of my dick is blue.
[00:56:30]  Because my dick is blue because I put all that fresh blood in there.
[00:56:34]  And then you hold your breath like that.
[00:56:36]  You go, it's like when you start a balloon.
[00:56:40]  You ever see the balloon animal guy stretch it?
[00:56:42]  I'm stretching my dick a little first.
[00:56:44]  I'd be like that.
[00:56:45]  Like that.
[00:56:46]  And then you take a little deep breath and go, right?
[00:56:51]  And that comes out a little curve like that.
[00:56:53]  It just hits that little curve.
[00:56:54]  Oh, flagrant, okay?
[00:56:56]  You go, yo, listen, you get a free sample.
[00:56:59]  Free sample.
[00:57:00]  All right.
[00:57:00]  $5 just pays for the ship.
[00:57:02]  That's it.
[00:57:04]  That's it.
[00:57:05]  Get that.
[00:57:05]  That's it, baby.
[00:57:07]  So that's all it is.
[00:57:08]  $5 you play.
[00:57:10]  Get that free sample, get the dick hard and get that little foo.
[00:57:13]  You get that.
[00:57:14]  That's the sound that comes out.
[00:57:15]  If I push really hard, some air comes out through the dick and it just goes, Mom does like the clicking sound when you're filling up a gas tank.
[00:57:32]  You always push a little pass.
[00:57:36]  Okay, we're full.
[00:57:37]  Holy shit, boys.
[00:57:39]  Holy shit.

=== Free Samples and Curve Sounds (14:29) ===

[00:57:40]  All right.
[00:57:40]  Deportez?
[00:57:41]  Let's talk about it.
[00:57:42]  That's awesome to Portez, man.
[00:57:44]  All right, bro.
[00:57:44]  What do you want to talk about?
[00:57:45]  The Shaq and Dame beef.
[00:57:47]  Yo, I came in here.
[00:57:49]  Akash got a verse on the phone playing out loud.
[00:57:58]  Sounds like Shaq's voice.
[00:58:00]  Rapper Shaq voice.
[00:58:01]  Rapper Shaq voice.
[00:58:02]  Rapper Shaq's voice is very different than regular Shaq voice.
[00:58:04]  100% true.
[00:58:05]  Regular Shaq is very, you know.
[00:58:07]  But rapper Shaq.
[00:58:08]  Rapper Shaq voice is vicious.
[00:58:11]  It's vicious.
[00:58:12]  Sounds like a mean guy.
[00:58:13]  Diesel.
[00:58:14]  I like it.
[00:58:15]  And he is targeting his rhymes against Dame Dollar Dame Lillard.
[00:58:23]  Now, why would you attack Dame Lillard, a known rapper in the NBA?
[00:58:29]  Yeah.
[00:58:29]  Well, allegedly.
[00:58:31]  I think I heard the clip.
[00:58:32]  Maybe he played at the beginning of his song on Breakfast Club.
[00:58:36]  Yes.
[00:58:36]  Charlamagne asked Dame if he was better a rapper than Shaq.
[00:58:39]  And Dame, I think, said something to the effect of, yeah, obviously, because Shaq wasn't really a rapper.
[00:58:43]  He was just like a ball player who happened to rap.
[00:58:46]  Something like that.
[00:58:47]  That's a while ago, wasn't it?
[00:58:49]  I think so.
[00:58:49]  I mean, it took Shaq that long to come up with a song.
[00:58:51]  That's what I'm saying.
[00:58:53]  Over the What's the Difference beat?
[00:58:55]  Yeah.
[00:58:56]  Great beat, by the way.
[00:58:56]  I thought Exhibit was going to be something.
[00:58:58]  Yeah, we all did.
[00:58:59]  I mean, Pitmar Rod was great.
[00:59:00]  Yeah, Pit Mar Rod.
[00:59:02]  You know, that was when I was like, oh, fuck.
[00:59:04]  I like wrestling.
[00:59:04]  Wrestlers, that was the name of the album.
[00:59:06]  That was my shit.
[00:59:07]  Yeah, Exhibit was good.
[00:59:09]  He had a good rap voice.
[00:59:10]  He had the battle rap pedigrees and eight mile and shit, too.
[00:59:15]  He had a little wave, right, in the early 2000s.
[00:59:18]  But let's not get distracted.
[00:59:20]  Yes.
[00:59:22]  All of a sudden, Akash plays yet another song on his phone.
[00:59:25]  And what is it?
[00:59:27]  The Dame?
[00:59:28]  The Dame Disc?
[00:59:28]  It is a Dame diss track, a response to Shaq.
[00:59:32]  We have a legit NBA rap beast.
[00:59:36]  This is Dame's second one, right?
[00:59:37]  Who was the first one with?
[00:59:38]  Marvin Bagley.
[00:59:40]  And Marvin had bars.
[00:59:42]  You know why I like Dame?
[00:59:44]  Dame plays by the rules of all rap beef.
[00:59:46]  Somebody, this is you.
[00:59:48]  You have 48 hours or less to respond.
[00:59:50]  And that's it.
[00:59:51]  And that motherfucker always responds in like six hours.
[00:59:55]  And he has bars.
[00:59:56]  And he has bars.
[00:59:57]  Hold on.
[00:59:58]  I just saw a copy of the business.
[00:59:59]  All the money in the world.
[01:00:00]  They trade E for Penny.
[01:00:02]  There was a bunch.
[01:00:04]  Can we acknowledge that line?
[01:00:05]  All the money in the world, they trade you for penny.
[01:00:08]  That's Orlando trading Shaq.
[01:00:12]  They let him go as a free agent, but they made it clear they wanted Penny more than him.
[01:00:17]  Kobe won't be able to do that.
[01:00:19]  Kobe.
[01:00:20]  But there was something and something with the Flash.
[01:00:23]  Yeah, even in Miami.
[01:00:24]  Even in Miami, one off the strength of Flash.
[01:00:28]  Ooh.
[01:00:29]  That's a bar, dude.
[01:00:30]  Believe it.
[01:00:31]  People need Flash.
[01:00:33]  Exactly what I was saying.
[01:00:34]  Gosh, Cash.
[01:00:36]  He's talking about the gift bags.
[01:00:38]  He said you got to get a gift bag every time you're horny.
[01:00:42]  You got to get a gift.
[01:00:42]  You paying these hoes, Shaq.
[01:00:44]  Shaq, you smell these hoes.
[01:00:46]  That's a little bit of a low blow.
[01:00:47]  That's what I'm saying.
[01:00:47]  Like, yo, I fuck with Dame, but like, you don't.
[01:00:51]  Come on, son.
[01:00:52]  That's almost the type of shit Andrew was doing earlier, too.
[01:00:55]  Let me ask you something.
[01:00:56]  Why is that a bad thing?
[01:00:57]  That's true, Jim, bro.
[01:00:58]  Like, you don't.
[01:00:59]  Dance a man.
[01:00:59]  You don't do that.
[01:01:00]  No, no, no.
[01:01:01]  I'm saying I fuck a girl and then I give her a gift bag.
[01:01:03]  Who cares?
[01:01:03]  Yo, a rage.
[01:01:04]  Who cares?
[01:01:07]  That's a Dergita move.
[01:01:08]  That's true.
[01:01:09]  A regular guy's gift bag is listening for 12 minutes on FaceTime.
[01:01:13]  Yeah.
[01:01:14]  That's your gift bag, Al.
[01:01:16]  That's what you give these attention.
[01:01:18]  I love my mom.
[01:01:19]  Maybe Kobe should have gotten a bitch a gift bag.
[01:01:22]  Maybe Kobe would have caught one last case.
[01:01:23]  He got a colossomy bag to fill for all that fucking shit that probably fell out of her ass when that big black mamba was in there.
[01:01:33]  The road to El Dorado fell out of her ass, bro.
[01:01:37]  Everything was in that shit.
[01:01:39]  I was like, yo, how in the fucking.
[01:01:41]  Oh, man.
[01:01:42]  Ken, I love when you participate in the flavor.
[01:01:44]  See, that shit is good, man.
[01:01:46]  It's awesome.
[01:01:47]  I thought Kobe was going down in that case, man.
[01:01:50]  Once you said all that shit, you can't have all of them.
[01:01:53]  All that DNA.
[01:01:57]  That's three too.
[01:01:58]  Three too many DNA.
[01:02:00]  A lot of DNA.
[01:02:01]  Wash your panties, ladies.
[01:02:03]  Wash your panties.
[01:02:04]  Okay?
[01:02:05]  I'm worth hundreds of millions of dollars and I'm just fucking bitches.
[01:02:08]  You get a gift bag to shut up.
[01:02:10]  It's so inexpensive.
[01:02:11]  It's expensive.
[01:02:12]  Honestly.
[01:02:13]  It's so inexpensive.
[01:02:14]  Honestly, you have to.
[01:02:15]  You have to, yo.
[01:02:16]  Like, you're that rich.
[01:02:17]  You're fucking some floozy after a game or after TNT or some shit like that.
[01:02:22]  It's the right thing to choose.
[01:02:23]  She's going to talk shit about you if you don't.
[01:02:25]  It's the right thing to do.
[01:02:26]  If you don't make it a memorable experience for her.
[01:02:27]  If you get her a nice enough gift bag, you know what gift she'll give you?
[01:02:30]  The gift of silence.
[01:02:31]  That's what you pay.
[01:02:32]  That's what I need.
[01:02:33]  Yeah, God damn it.
[01:02:33]  You gotta be quiet.
[01:02:34]  You go home with a nice Amazon dot or an Alexa or something.
[01:02:39]  Some chocolates.
[01:02:40]  I got a cheap ass bitch.
[01:02:41]  She just needs an Alexa.
[01:02:43]  She just needs someone to listen to her.
[01:02:45]  Somebody to talk to.
[01:02:48]  I have reminders to take the plan B. Built in.
[01:02:55]  Nah, you need to be there to witness that.
[01:02:56]  That's in the gift bag.
[01:02:58]  Real talk.
[01:02:58]  That needs a witness.
[01:02:59]  Tastes like getting married at City Hall.
[01:03:04]  Someone needs to go with you to the farm.
[01:03:06]  Okay, you got it?
[01:03:07]  No, I was there.
[01:03:08]  I was like, look under your tongue.
[01:03:12]  God damn.
[01:03:13]  Okay, so what do we think happens here?
[01:03:15]  One, do we give it to Dame or do we give it to Shaq?
[01:03:18]  I think Dame got it.
[01:03:19]  I give it to Dame off the bars.
[01:03:21]  I wasn't crazy about the gift bag line, but you got to give Shaq for longevity, too, man.
[01:03:27]  Shaq's been rapping for what?
[01:03:28]  Since 94?
[01:03:29]  Shaq put out like one song every three years.
[01:03:32]  Yeah, but like his disc record track record isn't terrible either.
[01:03:37]  Kobe, tell me how my ass tastes is like dick.
[01:03:39]  No, isn't it.
[01:03:40]  No, it was ass.
[01:03:41]  Yeah, it's like that was like one of the first village underground.
[01:03:45]  Yes yeah, that was here.
[01:03:48]  That was one of the first like real big viral sports clips.
[01:03:51]  Yeah, and you know, in the twitter social media era he had a couple funny bars.
[01:03:55]  The best, the best baller out of Oakland's, Jr Ryder, still makes me laugh.
[01:03:58]  So he was reaching and the Trevor, the Trevor or Easa line.
[01:04:02]  Say you think Lebron you more like Trevor or Easa, like what Trevoriza do to you.
[01:04:06]  He's a solid basketball player.
[01:04:08]  That's, that's his point, I guess.
[01:04:09]  But like it's so funny to say that.
[01:04:11]  Like imagine you tell some New York legend, the best baller out of New York is Land Stevenson is what I was telling Andrew, this is so funny man, it's just so ridiculous.
[01:04:19]  Is there anyone else out of Oakland?
[01:04:22]  I mean Jason kidding, kid Gary Payton.
[01:04:25]  Yeah, Gary Payton, Gary Payton's like the Oakland guy.
[01:04:27]  Yeah, Oakland got a very rich point guard legacy.
[01:04:29]  That's why it's funny, that's why i'm like you know that's Jr Ryder and say Jr Ryder, that's why it made me laugh so much.
[01:04:35]  To be fair, Jr Ryder has like one of the best athlete names ever like.
[01:04:38]  He gets name dropped all the time just because his name is so rhythmic like Jr Ryder from Dipset.
[01:04:45]  And even Alex was like who's Jr Rider?
[01:04:47]  He didn't know.
[01:04:47]  He didn't know that Jr Ryder from Dipset was named after Jr Ryder, the best basketball player.
[01:04:52]  Yeah, why wouldn't he go?
[01:04:55]  J Kid, because it's funnier.
[01:04:57]  That's what's so dismissive about it to me is just like i'm gonna say, the best guys is Fucking Scrub.
[01:05:02]  You're not even as good as him.
[01:05:04]  Makes me laugh, man.
[01:05:05]  That's, I thought was so funny.
[01:05:07]  I'll fuck the Jr Ryder though, first person i've seen do it through the legs though, and when uh, Jay this Joe Button, he also um, compared him to Jr Ryder, he said, you're not, you're not even the Harold minor you, Jr Rider, matter of fact, you're worthless.
[01:05:24]  Fella Harold minor yeah, all the men minor yeah, but it's kind of I mean, looking back at it, kind of a compliment.
[01:05:33]  Kind of compliment because he's talking, he's naming all the baby Jordans of that era, the ones who were about to be Sean Bradley, matter of fact.
[01:05:41]  So I guess he called him.
[01:05:42]  Jay-z was Jordan and Joe Button was trying to come at him for that crown, and he's like, you're not even.
[01:05:49]  You ain't no athlete.
[01:05:49]  You Sean Bradley, Harold Minor, you Jr Ryder, you worthless.
[01:05:53]  You Purvis Ellis or some like.
[01:05:55]  He just went on and on and on.
[01:05:56]  But you know Jay-z the Gold so.
[01:05:59]  But if y'all remember those guys, I might have aged myself with all those.
[01:06:02]  Here's what's going to be frustrating.
[01:06:04]  Here's going to be frustrating though, is Shaq.
[01:06:05]  He's just going to be so passive, aggressive about it on TNT postgame, like when he doesn't like somebody he's just constantly shitting on him or whatever.
[01:06:12]  And then you're just like three ring, three ring.
[01:06:13]  And it's like man yeah, like i'm starting to like the older I get.
[01:06:19]  I'm like yo, why are you always bitching?
[01:06:20]  Yeah, he was talking about like and Damelo talked about this in the song.
[01:06:23]  He's like, oh, he was salty that he wasn't the unanimous Mvp.
[01:06:26]  He's like that's why he's probably salty at Steph or whatever.
[01:06:28]  And like you know whatever Oakland and um, on top of that, he was just like what was the other one always talking about other big men?
[01:06:36]  And yeah, Superman and like giving Dwight, Howard shit.
[01:06:39]  And it's like dog, like that made me laugh sometimes, like.
[01:06:42]  I remember one time in Miami he was playing really badly and he goes.
[01:06:45]  I don't know what's been wrong with me lately i've been playing like Eric Dampier, which is just so.
[01:06:50]  It's so funny sometimes.
[01:06:52]  But then when it keeps going and now you're not playing, it's just not as funny.
[01:06:55]  He doesn't seem like the reason it trashes.
[01:06:56]  Everybody just trashes a man.
[01:06:58]  Like the old man yells at a cloud meme.
[01:07:00]  Like, that's how Shaq is starting to get it.
[01:07:01]  He got some funny Chris Bosch ones too, where he said he plays like a woman or something like that.
[01:07:05]  Can't say that now, though.
[01:07:06]  Yeah, I know.
[01:07:06]  That's why it's still funny.
[01:07:08]  But anyway, yeah.
[01:07:09]  He called Sacramento the Sacramento Queens, and then he became a minority owner of the team, which is such a great.
[01:07:14]  That's cool.
[01:07:15]  You already own the team?
[01:07:16]  Yeah.
[01:07:17]  He owns a staking to Sacramento Kings.
[01:07:19]  That's their gift bag.
[01:07:20]  Yeah.
[01:07:21]  For so many years.
[01:07:22]  Here's your gift bag.
[01:07:23]  I've been owning Sacramento my entire career.
[01:07:26]  Might as well do it in real life.
[01:07:27]  He said that?
[01:07:28]  Yeah.
[01:07:28]  He has to get more sometimes, but it just always feels so real.
[01:07:31]  Sometimes it just feels so real and it doesn't feel funny.
[01:07:34]  And it's like the Dwight Howard shit is like, he's still going to take shots at Dwight.
[01:07:37]  Dwight done, man.
[01:07:38]  I mean, he felt threatened.
[01:07:40]  And that's the other thing.
[01:07:41]  When you feel threatened sometimes, he felt threatened by Dwight.
[01:07:44]  And he knows he took an L on this rap song, so he's going to take his shots throughout the season.
[01:07:48]  And that's going to be annoying.
[01:07:49]  But this is a very entertaining rat beef.
[01:07:52]  Fair enough.
[01:07:53]  And he's supposed to keep it real with him, though.
[01:07:54]  He'd be like, nah, you got smoked.
[01:07:56]  Charles will too.
[01:07:57]  And then he'd be like, three rings.
[01:08:00]  Same fucking shit again, Shaq.
[01:08:02]  You need another one.
[01:08:02]  Well, four rings, right?
[01:08:03]  He got four.
[01:08:04]  You got one, Miami.
[01:08:05]  Oh, yeah, yeah, four.
[01:08:07]  Flash carried into it.
[01:08:09]  And the refs.
[01:08:09]  I got to bring this up, and we can move back to sports in a second.
[01:08:12]  But this guy came up to me after the show in Sydney and he brought up this hypothetical.
[01:08:17]  And I thought it was quite interesting.
[01:08:18]  You guys chew on it.
[01:08:20]  A guy buys like a massive yacht.
[01:08:22]  Okay.
[01:08:23]  Okay.
[01:08:23]  Like one of these super fancy yachts, right?
[01:08:26]  And he only hires black people to be the staff for the yacht.
[01:08:35]  Is that racist or progressive?
[01:08:42]  What kind of staff?
[01:08:43]  Like every, like captain of the ship?
[01:08:45]  Well, what is interesting about it is that you go there with it, right?
[01:08:48]  If a company like an advertising agency or a basketball team or something was like, I'm only going to hire an all-black front staff or something like that, they would probably be praised.
[01:08:59]  They'd be like, wow, you're trying to interject diversity and put these roles in, and wow, that'd be amazing.
[01:09:04]  I think what this hypothetical exposes is how we view certain positions.
[01:09:09]  Yeah, that's what I'm saying.
[01:09:10]  Are they what, like you said, like, what part of the staff are they?
[01:09:13]  Like on the board?
[01:09:15]  If it was only captains and it was only whatever, it'd be like, oh my God, this is great.
[01:09:18]  We're looking at it.
[01:09:19]  But if you're like, oh, the people that are serving, right?
[01:09:22]  But why he's interjecting, he's interjecting, he's injecting money in people's pockets.
[01:09:27]  He's giving opportunities, giving a job.
[01:09:28]  I think it really shows our bigoted approach to work where we view some work as lesser than low-level.
[01:09:34]  And then some work is okay.
[01:09:37]  I didn't need that exposed to me because I know that about myself.
[01:09:41]  If I'm supposed to view the waiter of the restaurant the same as the owner of the restaurant, no, I'm not a fucking retard.
[01:09:47]  Like this, obviously, one deserves less respect, kind of deserves, commands less respect than the other.
[01:09:52]  And I'm saying if he had all, like all throughout, then it's, yeah, everybody.
[01:09:57]  But if he stops at the people serving food, then it's like, all right, that's a little.
[01:10:00]  No, no, no.
[01:10:00]  Everybody.
[01:10:01]  Yeah, then that's straight.
[01:10:02]  That's great.
[01:10:03]  Everybody.
[01:10:03]  Right.
[01:10:04]  All black servers, captains, whatever.
[01:10:05]  They should all be whatever.
[01:10:07]  I think it's weird if you stop there.
[01:10:08]  But also, I 100% view a bus boy differently than I view a waiter differently than I view a manager.
[01:10:13]  And it's weird to be that person, too, because you got to make it a thing.
[01:10:17]  Like, if you just do it without mentioning it, it's like, how come there's only black people that are their service here?
[01:10:22]  But if you're like, you know, as the owner of this yacht, I'm going to make it a thing or you feel bad.
[01:10:29]  Exactly.
[01:10:30]  Like, you have to make it a thing.
[01:10:31]  And then now you're like, why does it have to be a thing?
[01:10:33]  Why couldn't you just, you know, and then that shows you how far we've really come as a progressive people?
[01:10:37]  Because if it's a thing, then, you know.
[01:10:40]  Do people pretend the same?
[01:10:42]  No, no, no.
[01:10:42]  But why are certain jobs?
[01:10:44]  I guess what I'm trying to say is, why are certain jobs?
[01:10:48]  Look at Bruce Arians.
[01:10:50]  Why are certain jobs progressive if you hire them and then certain jobs racist if you hire people for them?
[01:10:57]  Well, you look at Bruce Arians, who's the head coach of the Buccaneers right now, white dude, super cool white guy.
[01:11:02]  He's made it a point of duty to hire, like, he has an entirely black coaching staff.
[01:11:07]  So is that progressive?
[01:11:10]  I don't know.
[01:11:10]  People would view it as such.
[01:11:12]  It's viewed differently, yeah, obviously, because of the prestige of the NFL and giving black coaches chances and all that type of stuff.
[01:11:19]  But at the same time, it's like, well.
[01:11:20]  I think the point is black people have historically been held out of positions of power, et cetera.
[01:11:26]  So if you're giving them positions they've already had, it's like, well, that's not progress.
[01:11:28]  Yes.
[01:11:29]  Right.
[01:11:29]  But if you're still keeping them out of these positions, that's where the bar of racism has moved to.
[01:11:35]  We get jobs now, but y'all are keeping us out of these jobs now.
[01:11:38]  And that's why if it's all throughout, I don't think anybody would say that's racist.
[01:11:42]  How dare you have black staffers?
[01:11:43]  And you'd be like, are you fucking moron?
[01:11:44]  I have black everybody.
[01:11:46]  But if it's just black staff, then it's like, well, you're still keeping us out of the positions of power.
[01:11:50]  And that's what modern racism looks like.
[01:11:51]  But what if there's no rule that said they couldn't be in the position of power, but they're like, I'm just going to allocate these jobs to black people or one specific community.
[01:12:04]  It could be Native Americans or whatever, like a community that is financially struggling.
[01:12:07]  I'm going to allocate these jobs.

=== Job Allocation and Gray Areas (02:50) ===

[01:12:10]  Yeah, then there's like a gray area where it's like, if you can work your way up and whatever, absolutely.
[01:12:15]  And right now we need, there's like a way to explain it where it's like, okay.
[01:12:19]  But it does optically look a little weird if they're just.
[01:12:21]  Isn't that interesting though?
[01:12:22]  It is weird.
[01:12:22]  I mean, it's obviously...
[01:12:24]  It's not about necessarily less respect.
[01:12:26]  We know that there are certain positions that we admire, have more respect for.
[01:12:29]  But at the end of the day, you're putting money, you're putting money in someone's pocket and you're giving them an opportunity over someone else specifically because you want to economically uplift them.
[01:12:40]  But a certain job, it would be looked at as looked down upon to do that because it's in a service industry rather than another job, which is, and it wouldn't have to even be a job of power.
[01:12:50]  If it was like internships for an unpaid internship for MGM or something like that or some like a Miramax or some movie thing, but we're only accepting one group of candidates.
[01:13:01]  We'd be like, oh, progressive that they're looking and they're trying to create equity.
[01:13:05]  I just think it was a really interesting thing.
[01:13:07]  Well, this is like, this is, I think I heard this thing Obama said on Mark Maron's podcast where it's like when people act like there's no progress, you can't just say, oh, it's just like it was 50 years ago.
[01:13:16]  No, we made tons of progress.
[01:13:18]  So progress now is black people can get jobs.
[01:13:21]  But the bar that they still feel like the ceiling, the glass ceiling is we can't get positions of power.
[01:13:26]  So now it's like, okay, well, this doesn't feel like progress.
[01:13:28]  This feels like this is just what it is.
[01:13:30]  And there's always the rule of trajectories as well.
[01:13:33]  Like if you're giving somebody a job as a clerk at a yacht, it's like, okay, well, how far, how much further can this person really move on?
[01:13:40]  Whereas if you're a head coach and you're given your defensive coordinator, offensive coordinator, all these people are black, they're in a position where now they have experience to go on and be head coaches and address a big problem within the NFL community instead of actually, yeah, I changed my mind on the Rooney rule, which is you have to, and the NFL, if you have a head coaching vacancy, you have to interview at least one black person as a candidate to be the head coach.
[01:14:02]  I was like, that's bullshit.
[01:14:04]  That's like some pity thing.
[01:14:04]  You're throwing them a bone.
[01:14:06]  And then I realized the idea was explained was like, no, the idea is even if you don't want him for this job right now, you meet him and then maybe down the road, if somebody else is like, yo, do you know anybody good for a head coaching position?
[01:14:17]  You'd be like, yo, I interviewed this guy.
[01:14:19]  He was great.
[01:14:20]  Or you fire this guy.
[01:14:21]  You're like, oh, is that guy still available?
[01:14:22]  He was great.
[01:14:23]  Yeah.
[01:14:24]  So it's like, to me, that's where it depends.
[01:14:27]  This is all the gray area of it.
[01:14:28]  But we have definitely made progress in that they can get the job.
[01:14:31]  100% what job are they getting?
[01:14:32]  I agree.
[01:14:33]  And that's why I think we view it as well.
[01:14:34]  100%, especially the power positions.
[01:14:36]  It's just interesting that if only the service positions were hired, it would be looked at as racist instead of progressive because at the end of the day, you are providing people with work.
[01:14:45]  And there is something funny about people.
[01:14:47]  If people really pretend they don't judge certain positions, the second you have problems, especially white people, the second you got problems with the person you're talking to, let me talk to a manager.
[01:14:55]  Because I respect you.
[01:14:57]  You disagree with me right now.
[01:14:58]  And that exposes, I don't really respect what you do.

=== Coffee Judgments and Milk Drinks (06:44) ===

[01:15:00]  You press some buttons, you fucking cashier.
[01:15:03]  Let me talk to somebody who got more than a GED.
[01:15:05]  Like, all this shit starts coming up.
[01:15:06]  Yeah, yeah.
[01:15:07]  So there's something there.
[01:15:09]  It does expose something.
[01:15:10]  But to me, it's like, yeah, we're all that.
[01:15:12]  Yes, You're just more comfortable with that.
[01:15:15]  I don't give a fuck.
[01:15:15]  Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[01:15:16]  We don't respect a cashier.
[01:15:17]  Yeah, yeah.
[01:15:18]  Fucking idiot.
[01:15:20]  What's wrong with a cashier?
[01:15:21]  You press four buttons.
[01:15:22]  You scan some items.
[01:15:23]  I was a cashier at 16 at Target.
[01:15:26]  I didn't need a fucking education for it.
[01:15:28]  Teaches the skills.
[01:15:29]  I don't know.
[01:15:29]  I'm not.
[01:15:30]  I didn't get any skills.
[01:15:31]  Oh, hey, this line is long.
[01:15:32]  Let me go grab some people.
[01:15:33]  What did they used to do?
[01:15:34]  I was a cashier when I was 16.
[01:15:36]  That was my first job.
[01:15:37]  As soon as I turned 16, I was like, I want to get a job.
[01:15:39]  I want to do this.
[01:15:40]  I was a cashier at Target and the worst employee they ever had in terms of like...
[01:15:45]  They literally would debate, like, is he the worst employee we've ever had?
[01:15:49]  And I didn't give a fuck.
[01:15:52]  Like, if this is the bottle holding these water bottles, and this is the front of the shelf, you have to make sure you pull it to the front of the shelf and it's all facing the front and exposing the label to people.
[01:16:01]  And I was like, gosh, this is idiotic.
[01:16:04]  What are you doing?
[01:16:07]  I was.
[01:16:08]  I'm telling you, I didn't deserve any respect back then.
[01:16:10]  I hear you.
[01:16:11]  I hear you.
[01:16:11]  They didn't think you did.
[01:16:13]  People disrespected me.
[01:16:14]  I'd have been like, you got that.
[01:16:17]  You are 100% right.
[01:16:19]  I got disrespected.
[01:16:20]  I don't like when I get disrespected by people in service.
[01:16:25]  Oh, yeah, that shit drinks.
[01:16:27]  It bothers me.
[01:16:28]  Yeah, because you're supposed to provide me with a good experience.
[01:16:31]  Like, today.
[01:16:32]  You work in service.
[01:16:33]  I don't.
[01:16:34]  Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[01:16:36]  Or just don't be a dick.
[01:16:37]  Like, today I was getting a coffee at La Colomb, and I noticed the shots there, boy.
[01:16:44]  Yeah, they do.
[01:16:45]  There's a fancy coffee shop.
[01:16:46]  And I noticed the barista, some like Puerto Rican-looking guy, was poured an entire cup of half and half of cream.
[01:16:58]  Yeah.
[01:17:01]  And then just poured it over ice and then poured a single shot of espresso.
[01:17:08]  No, he hadn't poured the shot of espresso.
[01:17:09]  It was just an entire cup of half and half cream.
[01:17:11]  And I go, I'm sorry.
[01:17:16]  Is somebody doing a latte made of all?
[01:17:19]  Half and half.
[01:17:19]  Half and half?
[01:17:20]  Yeah, that's repulsive.
[01:17:21]  That is repulsive, right?
[01:17:23]  That is, at bare minimum, reasonable to ask about.
[01:17:26]  Yeah.
[01:17:27]  Right?
[01:17:27]  Like, part of me was concerned he was making the wrong drink and he didn't even know he was making the wrong drink, right?
[01:17:33]  That's not a crazy question to ask, right?
[01:17:36]  I go, is there a drink this man with that?
[01:17:38]  And then he goes, yes, it's a babity boobity bop, but whatever the fuck it is.
[01:17:41]  But like, super, like, I should know about this fucking.
[01:17:44]  It's an actual reenactment because right now it don't seem.
[01:17:46]  You made him sound like almost nice about it.
[01:17:49]  He goes, yes, it's in battabutto or whatever, like some Italian.
[01:17:53]  Like, you should know this.
[01:17:54]  Yeah, yeah, yes, it's about pato butto.
[01:17:56]  And yeah.
[01:17:58]  And I'm like, hold on.
[01:17:59]  It's made with half and half entirely.
[01:18:02]  Yes, it's a baparabuto.
[01:18:06]  And then just kind of like walks away.
[01:18:09]  I linger to see what fucking animal was going to order that.
[01:18:14]  And some bitch was drinking an entire fucking cup of half and half.
[01:18:19]  Is that not insane?
[01:18:22]  That's repulsive, dude.
[01:18:23]  I like just got in the coffee like a month ago.
[01:18:25]  And that sounds disgusting.
[01:18:28]  Like even a cup of milk is crazy.
[01:18:32]  You ever just sit and watch people just drink a glass of milk and not just think about something off pity?
[01:18:39]  There's something off-putting about you being a grown person drinking milk.
[01:18:42]  Milk.
[01:18:44]  I'm not who, so I'm not good.
[01:18:45]  I'm Hindus, I'm not going to disrespect no cows up in here.
[01:18:50]  Yeah, I see where you're going.
[01:18:52]  It's weird.
[01:18:53]  It's not weird, but you just look at it like, yo, you're just milking it.
[01:18:56]  It's a reasonable fucking question to ask what if that's a fucking drink.
[01:19:01]  Don't act like that's not reasonable.
[01:19:03]  Yeah.
[01:19:03]  Do you know what I'm saying?
[01:19:05]  It's a fucking reasonable thing to ask.
[01:19:07]  It's like if you're at a barbershop, right?
[01:19:11]  Somebody's like, yo, somebody is all this off.
[01:19:14]  No, you know what it's like?
[01:19:15]  It's if you're at a barbershop and then someone serves a fucking drink made out of half and half.
[01:19:19]  That's how absurd it is that you would drink out of a fucking thing of half and half.
[01:19:23]  And the fact that all you could say is, actually, yeah, it is kind of crazy.
[01:19:26]  It's a rare drink, but some people get it.
[01:19:28]  That's how you answer it, right?
[01:19:29]  Yeah.
[01:19:30]  Or if you're saying you're in the service industry, you're supposed to, that's when you go into your bag.
[01:19:35]  Well, actually, this half and half drink was made and blah, It's a real salad opportunity.
[01:19:40]  Yeah, maybe I could get an exciting time.
[01:19:41]  Maybe I'll try that next time.
[01:19:42]  Not to mention, I just paid $7 for a fucking oat milk latte.
[01:19:47]  That cold brew?
[01:19:48]  Seven?
[01:19:49]  No, no.
[01:19:49]  I didn't even get the draft.
[01:19:50]  I got an oat milk.
[01:19:51]  It's mostly oat milk.
[01:19:53]  And then they put the espresso in it.
[01:19:54]  But I paid $6.50 each for that.
[01:19:57]  I paid $13 for coffee.
[01:20:00]  And then this guy gives me attitude about a question about half-hour.
[01:20:03]  La Coloma, Gregory's.
[01:20:04]  No, it was La Coloma.
[01:20:05]  It wasn't this one.
[01:20:07]  I should have jumped over that fucking counter and I should have shoved his head underneath the espresso thing and let that shit drip.
[01:20:13]  Paris has got a lot of attitude, bro.
[01:20:15]  And that's where my fucking, I'm openly.
[01:20:18]  I'm openly like, nah, you don't, you are a fucking barista.
[01:20:21]  You don't get to act like this.
[01:20:23]  Yeah.
[01:20:23]  I don't respect what you do.
[01:20:25]  Yes.
[01:20:25]  You, you grind some fucking coffee beans.
[01:20:27]  You don't got no goddamn education.
[01:20:29]  You don't got a nice apartment.
[01:20:30]  This is your skill set.
[01:20:32]  This is your sketch.
[01:20:36]  I just did it.
[01:20:36]  You can't see it.
[01:20:38]  You can only see it if you watch it.
[01:20:39]  This is your skill set.
[01:20:40]  I'll do it again.
[01:20:44]  That's all you got to do.
[01:20:46]  You don't even need two hands.
[01:20:47]  Yo, the views and opinions of that of Andrew Schultz.
[01:20:51]  For God's sake, son.
[01:20:52]  I love coffee.
[01:20:54]  I appreciate the breasts.
[01:20:55]  Everybody in Australia.
[01:20:59]  Son.
[01:21:00]  Coffee's the only black thing that he likes.
[01:21:04]  I was waiting for somebody to really trust that one.
[01:21:07]  Half and half drink is his Alex female dresser.
[01:21:10]  The second that white girl said she was from Blacktown, he's like, I'm out.
[01:21:14]  Where the real white bitch is at?
[01:21:16]  Any real white bitches out here?
[01:21:19]  Oh, Lord.
[01:21:23]  Oh, my God.
[01:21:26]  Anyway, sorry for going on that little skill.
[01:21:29]  Sorry for the tangents.
[01:21:30]  Son, I was just so infuriated, Doug.
[01:21:33]  I was so infuriated, dude.
[01:21:35]  I almost sent my fucking drink over into the spot.
[01:21:38]  I almost was like, oops, and spilled my whole shit up just so he'd have to clean it.
[01:21:42]  Oops.
[01:21:43]  So fucked up, son.

=== Odell Suspension and Jet Lag (14:59) ===

[01:21:45]  It was early.
[01:21:46]  I hadn't had any coffee yet.
[01:21:47]  I'm fucking jet lagged.
[01:21:48]  I'm still in Australia time.
[01:21:50]  Okay.
[01:21:50]  The first time I'm actually engaging with like a waiter, I'm looking for some American service, and then I get some fucking...
[01:21:56]  Well, that was some American service.
[01:21:58]  You know what?
[01:21:58]  You're goddamn right.
[01:21:59]  It's in New York.
[01:22:00]  They're like, they know you need this.
[01:22:01]  Yeah.
[01:22:02]  Fuck you.
[01:22:03]  Just his attic.
[01:22:04]  Humor me.
[01:22:05]  He had no fucking...
[01:22:07]  You know what?
[01:22:08]  Honestly, I'm not surprised that he is Puerto Rican, had no energy or electricity in him at all.
[01:22:15]  I'm surprised there was no electricity going through.
[01:22:18]  It was something like that.
[01:22:21]  Had the wind knocked out of him.
[01:22:24]  Zero lights on in that guy's bike.
[01:22:28]  Nobody's home.
[01:22:29]  God damn it.
[01:22:32]  Shut up for Puerto Rico, yeah.
[01:22:34]  That's a hurricane joke.
[01:22:35]  Yeah.
[01:22:35]  So that's all, y'all.
[01:22:39]  Oh, fuck.
[01:22:45]  You lined up your whole house with some bicycle out front, some kid pedaling that shit like a fucking hamster wheel.
[01:22:53]  That's why they're so loud.
[01:22:55]  It's because that's the only method of communication they got.
[01:22:59]  They gotta keep the house on with kinetic energy.
[01:23:04]  Salsa and the AC on, just back and forth, maybe back and forth.
[01:23:15]  Saying that music with a crank, okay.
[01:23:22]  All right, back to what we're talking about.
[01:23:25]  We have more shit to talk about, guys.
[01:23:26]  Come on, we got more shit to talk about.
[01:23:29]  Let's do it.
[01:23:30]  Let's talk.
[01:23:30]  Oh, man.
[01:23:31]  Let's talk about it.
[01:23:32]  Yo, I don't know if there's so many little NFL games, but there's no stories that really caught me.
[01:23:36]  You know, Vantez Burfick got suspended for the rest of the year.
[01:23:38]  You think he's done?
[01:23:39]  Oh, he's out for the rest of the year.
[01:23:40]  I was suspended for the rest of the year.
[01:23:41]  Can we look at the hit?
[01:23:43]  Yeah.
[01:23:44]  Alex, can you pull up the hit?
[01:23:45]  I thought it's possible the guy kind of like lowered in.
[01:23:48]  Lowered, yeah, lowered in.
[01:23:49]  Then Vontes Burfick hit him in the head.
[01:23:51]  I don't know anything about tackling, obviously, but like.
[01:23:54]  That factor in his past.
[01:23:55]  And that's what it's based on.
[01:23:56]  It's based on just dirty hit after dirty hit.
[01:23:59]  They should.
[01:23:59]  What you did, Davey, 100% you should.
[01:24:01]  100% you should.
[01:24:02]  And he didn't really do him any favors like when he walked off the field, like smiling and waving to the crowd.
[01:24:08]  Oh, yeah, he got ejected from the game and he's got a big grin on his face.
[01:24:10]  Does he get paid?
[01:24:11]  I don't think so.
[01:24:12]  I don't think no.
[01:24:12]  I don't think so.
[01:24:13]  Oh, he's suspended.
[01:24:14]  You don't get paid for those games.
[01:24:17]  Or maybe you do.
[01:24:18]  I don't know.
[01:24:18]  Fuck.
[01:24:18]  I don't think you do.
[01:24:19]  I mean, I feel like if he got suspended without pay, they would mention that.
[01:24:23]  Right.
[01:24:23]  But then I may be totally wrong here, but I think you only get suspended without pay if there's something involved with the law.
[01:24:30]  But like, if you get suspended from the league, like, I still think you get paid.
[01:24:34]  So he's happy.
[01:24:35]  I'm sure he is.
[01:24:36]  I'm sure he'll get no CTE.
[01:24:38]  That'll probably be his last year.
[01:24:39]  He'd be giving CTE.
[01:24:40]  He'd be giving that shit.
[01:24:42]  Why doesn't he ever get it?
[01:24:44]  Maybe he got it.
[01:24:45]  Maybe he got it.
[01:24:45]  That's what I'm saying.
[01:24:47]  He's got a hat at shit.
[01:24:49]  Because when you hit somebody, you're taking the same amount of force.
[01:24:52]  Oh, yeah.
[01:24:52]  Probably more.
[01:24:54]  And you probably don't even realize it since you're leading with that momentum.
[01:25:00]  Yeah, you really editing this, man.
[01:25:03]  What do we got going on?
[01:25:04]  Oh, you got the clip?
[01:25:06]  Yeah.
[01:25:06]  Okay.
[01:25:07]  They fucked up my.
[01:25:09]  All right, here it is.
[01:25:11]  Bam.
[01:25:11]  Yeah, headhunting.
[01:25:12]  That wasn't even that bad, bro.
[01:25:14]  Nah, that was a head hunt.
[01:25:16]  And he checked on him afterwards.
[01:25:17]  Like, oh, you good?
[01:25:18]  I think.
[01:25:20]  Here's the hit.
[01:25:21]  Oh, he's already down.
[01:25:22]  He's already down.
[01:25:23]  Bam.
[01:25:24]  Led with the head.
[01:25:24]  Okay, I didn't realize he was already down.
[01:25:26]  And then he's getting back up.
[01:25:27]  And it's just, yeah, unnecessarily.
[01:25:29]  Yeah, it's a possession catch.
[01:25:31]  He wasn't trying to become a runner.
[01:25:32]  And three of the three people who made the final decision, I think, were all ex-NFL players.
[01:25:37]  Something like that.
[01:25:38]  Jesus Christ.
[01:25:40]  I mean, he dove headfirst into another guy's head.
[01:25:44]  Yeah, 100%.
[01:25:46]  I mean, that's fucking nuts, dude.
[01:25:47]  Yeah.
[01:25:48]  Yeah, I don't think he's going to be in the league anymore.
[01:25:50]  Is he that good?
[01:25:52]  No, that's the thing.
[01:25:53]  He's not that good anymore.
[01:25:54]  Yeah, he was really good for a bit, and then he kind of hung around this free agency.
[01:25:57]  And I think Stephen A. Smith made this point.
[01:25:59]  He's like, bro, they barely wanted you before.
[01:26:01]  Next year, no one's going to want you.
[01:26:03]  Like, you hung around for a while in free agency before Oakland finally signed you.
[01:26:06]  And after 12 games like this, you think anybody's going to want you next year?
[01:26:12]  Rex Ryan said the same thing.
[01:26:13]  He was like, he's not good anymore.
[01:26:15]  And when you're not good, you need to have something about you.
[01:26:18]  And his thing is like, I'm the guy who gets the dirty hits.
[01:26:21]  I'm the guy who does this.
[01:26:23]  Dude, can y'all fill me in about Rex Ryan and like his he's been getting spicy.
[01:26:29]  I mean, we've been Australia, so we're missing like the beef with him and Baker.
[01:26:33]  He's spicy, but is he entertaining?
[01:26:35]  Is he good?
[01:26:36]  Like, is it offering value or is he just.
[01:26:38]  I mean, he offers a lot of insight.
[01:26:40]  He offers good like football insight because he's a Ryan.
[01:26:43]  Like he's a lifelong football family and all that type of shit.
[01:26:48]  I don't think he's as entertaining as he was when he was a coach when he was just like, you know, give me the little press conference clip.
[01:26:55]  Let me get the little hard knocks.
[01:26:56]  Everyone's go get a fucking snack.
[01:26:57]  Like, that's great.
[01:26:58]  But when he has to talk like for minutes on minutes on subjects, he's not as entertaining as I thought he would be.
[01:27:03]  Yeah, exactly.
[01:27:04]  And he might be trying to make up for that with more spicy talk.
[01:27:07]  Somebody probably told him that shit.
[01:27:08]  They was like, yo, you got to up the spicy shit.
[01:27:11]  I don't think he was a great coach at all, but I think he's a savvy media person.
[01:27:15]  Like, he knows how to beat charismatic.
[01:27:17]  He was a good defensive coach.
[01:27:19]  He's a great defensive mind, good coordinator.
[01:27:20]  But as a head coach, no, I didn't think he was great.
[01:27:22]  But I also think, yeah, he knows how to rile people up.
[01:27:27]  And like, that's what his dad did.
[01:27:28]  Buddy Ryan was like, I mean, Buddy Ryan was a great, brilliant defensive mind, also, but like, also would say some wild shit with the media, cause little beefs here and there.
[01:27:36]  And like, that's, I think, um, kind of what he's doing.
[01:27:39]  Did Baker rebound because of Baker, or did he redid you watch the game?
[01:27:45]  I watched the game.
[01:27:46]  I didn't watch the game.
[01:27:47]  I did not see that one.
[01:27:48]  No, I think where I was, the New England Patriots game was on, and then the Detroit Lions and Cincinnati Bengals game was on, then I had to go to the airport.
[01:27:55]  But I thought, I thought this is the Browns aren't going to be as good as everyone said.
[01:28:00]  They're not going to be a Super Bowl team.
[01:28:01]  I knew this.
[01:28:02]  I was just like, anytime in my memory, a team gets hyped up.
[01:28:06]  I remember six, seven years ago, the Eagles had Michael Vick, signed Vince Young as a backup quarterback, all these other free agency things.
[01:28:11]  I think Vince Young said, we're like the dream team.
[01:28:13]  I don't even think they made the playoffs that year.
[01:28:15]  This always happens in the NFL.
[01:28:17]  I thought they have a shot at the playoffs.
[01:28:19]  I don't think they're Super Bowl contenders.
[01:28:21]  I'm surprised they beat up on Baltimore like they did.
[01:28:24]  But I also think this is an interesting story I want to follow.
[01:28:27]  Odell Beckham didn't have a good game.
[01:28:29]  And they won.
[01:28:30]  And they won.
[01:28:30]  Jarvis Landry had a good game.
[01:28:32]  Yeah.
[01:28:32]  And I think part of Baker was.
[01:28:36]  Beckham was two receptions for 20 yards.
[01:28:39]  Yo, thank you for the stats because I didn't know the exact stats.
[01:28:41]  But I know part of the problem with the Browns.
[01:28:44]  I think the main problem is probably the line.
[01:28:46]  Also, part of it, I think, is Baker's trying to keep Odell happy.
[01:28:49]  Yes.
[01:28:50]  And I think as he stops doing that, they'll win more.
[01:28:51]  But Willow, they'll start griping.
[01:28:53]  Okay, so let's have that conversation because I think that's really interesting.
[01:28:58]  Especially for even non-football fans.
[01:29:02]  There's a tricky thing that happens with football, right?
[01:29:05]  Which doesn't really happen in other sports.
[01:29:08]  Like in baseball, you're going to have your at-bats.
[01:29:10]  Yeah.
[01:29:10]  As long as you're in the lineup, you're going to have your at-bats.
[01:29:13]  Basketball, you're going to get your touches.
[01:29:15]  Yeah.
[01:29:16]  And even if you don't, you can get them in transition.
[01:29:19]  You will touch the ball.
[01:29:20]  You will fucking touch the ball.
[01:29:21]  Play some good D.
[01:29:22]  Yeah.
[01:29:23]  You know, you can get a steal.
[01:29:25]  You know, be active on the offensive glass.
[01:29:27]  You can find ways.
[01:29:28]  You can get rebounds.
[01:29:29]  Just find ways.
[01:29:29]  You can find ways to put yourself in the game.
[01:29:32]  In football, if you're a wide receiver, you get the ball if it's thrown at you.
[01:29:36]  If you're targeted.
[01:29:36]  And you can get targeted four times a game sometimes.
[01:29:39]  Six times a game.
[01:29:40]  Who knows?
[01:29:41]  So here's the thing.
[01:29:43]  Let's say you're a decoy the whole year and your team wins.
[01:29:46]  That's great for you, but you get paid based on your stats.
[01:29:49]  That's also true.
[01:29:50]  Nobody's paying you $200 million to be a decoy.
[01:29:54]  And even just playing like backyard football, if you're not getting the ball as a receiver, it's so frustrating.
[01:29:58]  You're pissed.
[01:29:59]  And you know you're open more often than you get the ball.
[01:30:02]  So like you might get two catches.
[01:30:04]  You might have been open nine times.
[01:30:05]  That's not a ton.
[01:30:06]  But seven fucking times I was open, this guy missed me.
[01:30:08]  And I think that's part of why wide receivers are driven to be diva so much.
[01:30:12]  There's something about it that drives you crazy and you need attention or whatever.
[01:30:15]  But like, I think Odell is a big diva.
[01:30:18]  Oh, he's 100% a diva.
[01:30:20]  Yeah.
[01:30:20]  How he reacts to this win is going to be very interesting.
[01:30:23]  Especially if they keep winning like this.
[01:30:25]  And is he, does he care enough about winning to sacrifice his personal stats?
[01:30:32]  Because what I assume teams are doing, and again, I didn't watch the game, but what I assume they're doing is they're loading up on Odell.
[01:30:39]  Yeah, maybe.
[01:30:40]  I think, yeah.
[01:30:42]  This is my assumption as to why Chubb was so successful.
[01:30:47]  Now, granted, Chubb had that 88-yard run.
[01:30:49]  Yeah.
[01:30:50]  And he'll do that.
[01:30:51]  When he goes downhill.
[01:30:52]  Yeah, he got a 91-yarder last year.
[01:30:54]  He's like, when he goes downhill.
[01:30:56]  He's good, dude.
[01:30:57]  Dude, corners couldn't catch him.
[01:30:59]  Yeah.
[01:30:59]  I remember someone asked, and nobody would have agreed to this in the NFL, but some patron was like, would you trade Zeke for Nick Chubb in a second?
[01:31:07]  And I was like in a fucking heartbeat, a second-round draft pick.
[01:31:09]  Nick Chubb was saying, and a second.
[01:31:11]  Okay, and a second.
[01:31:12]  Yeah, because you're not taking too much down with Chubb, but you're also getting saving money and getting a second-round draft pick.
[01:31:18]  Dude, and he's good.
[01:31:20]  He's good.
[01:31:21]  I mean, if you can create a little bit of room for him to get this, I don't understand how you tackle a guy like that.
[01:31:27]  Like, he's big.
[01:31:28]  Yeah, he's a big dude.
[01:31:30]  He's a big back.
[01:31:31]  So what it seems to me happened is Baltimore prepared for the past game and then they used the past game as a decoy.
[01:31:39]  I mean, I think Baker only threw the ball, you know, 30 times, which is not little.
[01:31:43]  That's a good number, I think.
[01:31:44]  It's a decent.
[01:31:44]  It should be.
[01:31:45]  Yeah.
[01:31:46]  It's basically the whole offense isn't on you.
[01:31:48]  But you would think when you have Jarvis Landry and Odell Beckham Jr., and is there anybody else?
[01:31:55]  They had a good tie in Joku, but I think he's out for the year.
[01:31:58]  Oh, what happened?
[01:31:59]  He got hurt.
[01:32:00]  Okay.
[01:32:01]  Was he with the Eagles or some shit like that?
[01:32:03]  No, he was the draft pick for them.
[01:32:05]  David and Joker or something got him.
[01:32:06]  Okay.
[01:32:07]  So basically, it seems to me a situation like that.
[01:32:13]  It's like, okay, let's prepare for the air.
[01:32:14]  And then they just started running this kid.
[01:32:16]  Right.
[01:32:17]  And he broke out for a big one.
[01:32:18]  So maybe outside of that big run, he had 80 yards or something like that for the first time.
[01:32:21]  He had three touchdowns, too.
[01:32:22]  He was fucking.
[01:32:23]  Yeah, he was going.
[01:32:24]  And Baltimore's defense is good.
[01:32:25]  It's a solid defense.
[01:32:26]  So maybe they are starting to find their identity.
[01:32:29]  Maybe it's not in the air.
[01:32:30]  Maybe you ride this fucking kid as much as you can.
[01:32:34]  And the second they start to stack the box and let Jarvis and Odell, the second they loosen up on Jarvis and Odell, and you can go long.
[01:32:40]  Yeah.
[01:32:41]  Yeah.
[01:32:42]  So you watch the game, Cass.
[01:32:44]  Yes.
[01:32:45]  We were just talking about the effectiveness of Nick Chubb.
[01:32:48]  And then if Odell is actually better off as a decoy on that team than he is a best game Odell's played in a year.
[01:32:57]  In a year.
[01:32:58]  Tell me.
[01:32:58]  Every single, if you look at, and mind you, the Ravens defense has been, you know, left much to be desired.
[01:33:03]  They've given up 500 yards in the past two games.
[01:33:06]  So they're not like the old school knock you on your ass Ravens.
[01:33:09]  Right.
[01:33:10]  But if you look at any one, any of those big plays, every time Odell was going anywhere, he was running little short curl routes, sending people long.
[01:33:18]  He was dragging two defenders, three defenders every single time.
[01:33:21]  So you see Baker Mayfield put up some pretty good completion percentages.
[01:33:25]  He's getting nice, quick routes.
[01:33:26]  It wasn't no big bomb touchdowns or anything like that.
[01:33:29]  That's what opened up that big, huge, what, 87 yards?
[01:33:33]  Nick Chubb after that.
[01:33:35]  And if Odell is who he says he is, which all year long, he's talked about when he did the fucking interview on ESPN on Sports Center.
[01:33:41]  He's like, yo, I just want to win.
[01:33:42]  I don't care if I get no catches, no calls, whatever.
[01:33:45]  I just want to win.
[01:33:47]  That's what will make him a better player.
[01:33:51]  Like knowing that you could win games with him not becoming a fucking distraction, fucking taking, doing what's the best for the team right now.
[01:33:59]  Because Jarvis Landry is just as good as Odell Beckham.
[01:34:02]  Just as good as Odell.
[01:34:03]  And that's your man.
[01:34:04]  So if you can't swallow your pride and be a decoy for him, you know.
[01:34:09]  That's the hope is that's his boy.
[01:34:11]  So maybe he won't feel any type of way.
[01:34:12]  I don't know.
[01:34:13]  My theory, my prediction is he'll be fine all year.
[01:34:17]  When they lose, if it's early in the playoffs or they don't make it to the playoffs and he doesn't have a big game, you'll start to hear a little shit come out from him.
[01:34:24]  What is the saying?
[01:34:25]  Winning.
[01:34:27]  Winning is the best deodorant.
[01:34:28]  That's the one I always love.
[01:34:29]  I love that one.
[01:34:30]  It is.
[01:34:31]  But yeah, winning cures everything.
[01:34:33]  Win is the best deodorant, whatever it is.
[01:34:35]  I think it's easy to check your ego when you're winning.
[01:34:38]  And I think the second they lose.
[01:34:40]  Yeah.
[01:34:40]  The second they lose, all that built-up frustration from not being targeted is going to come out.
[01:34:46]  I just think it's inside him.
[01:34:47]  He doesn't know how to get rid of it.
[01:34:49]  But at least Baker had a game where he looked solid or no?
[01:34:52]  He looked solid.
[01:34:53]  Baker's going to be fine.
[01:34:54]  I think Baker's going to be a good quarterback.
[01:34:56]  The quarterbacks are going to go through ups and downs.
[01:34:57]  Kaz always talks about the second year they got tape on you.
[01:35:00]  I think his line is not good.
[01:35:02]  So that's the other thing.
[01:35:03]  If you don't have a good line and you have two guys that are actual downfield threats.
[01:35:06]  It doesn't matter how good you are.
[01:35:07]  You don't got time to get it out.
[01:35:09]  No.
[01:35:09]  It's all time to get out of your hand.
[01:35:10]  The way, and again, a great football mind would know what to do in this situation.
[01:35:15]  But if you do have like a running threat, do you do a lot of play action?
[01:35:19]  How do you cut it?
[01:35:20]  Play action is a good way because that's what Dak is really good with play action because Ezekiel Elliott's such a threat that the second he pretends to hand to Ezekiel Elliott, they'll take one split second to freeze and look at him.
[01:35:31]  And that's all it takes in the NFL is that one stop.
[01:35:33]  Oh, it's a fake.
[01:35:34]  And then you can get a 60, 80 yard touchdown out of that.
[01:35:37]  One of those double moves on a play action.
[01:35:41]  If they bite and you got a deep threat, that's what you're hoping for.
[01:35:45]  You froze the safety, like Kaz said.
[01:35:47]  You're freezing the safety on the play action.
[01:35:49]  The linebackers on a linebacker, but you're freezing everybody.
[01:35:54]  The only reason why it helps the line is because a lot of times when they play action, they bootleg a little bit.
[01:35:58]  So you're not just backing up.
[01:36:00]  You're getting a little runoff.
[01:36:01]  Yeah, you're getting a little ways.
[01:36:03]  So let's say I'm Dak Prescott.
[01:36:05]  I fake a handoff to Ezekiel Elliott.
[01:36:07]  He goes left.
[01:36:08]  Everybody for a split second goes left.
[01:36:10]  And then if I run a bootleg where I keep the ball and kind of run out to the right, I have all this real estate.
[01:36:16]  There's no lineman in my face.
[01:36:17]  I can see the field clearly and I can think.
[01:36:19]  And then you have your one guy who hopefully you have him on single coverage.
[01:36:23]  Or you hopefully have shifted the safety away enough.
[01:36:26]  And there's times where they're not fooled and you still got your back to give it to.
[01:36:30]  Like if nobody's open or the line's not fooled or safety's not fooled, they're still coming to you.
[01:36:34]  You still got the guy who just faked the handoff to either do a quarterback screen or pass or whatever.
[01:36:41]  So maybe they find their identity through that.
[01:36:43]  I mean, Baker is mobile.

=== Linebacker Focus and Fake Handoffs (11:49) ===

[01:36:44]  This guy can, you know, he's an athlete.
[01:36:46]  Yeah, I think people really gave Baker a lot of shit.
[01:36:50]  You said he was average multiple times.
[01:36:52]  I swear, like he's mid.
[01:36:54]  I was one of them.
[01:36:55]  I was one of them, bro.
[01:36:56]  You are.
[01:36:57]  This week, I was looking at your Twitter.
[01:36:58]  I absolutely am one of them.
[01:37:00]  I think he earned the shit.
[01:37:02]  You know what I mean?
[01:37:02]  Like, the first couple of games, he was putting up wild numbers.
[01:37:05]  And yeah, he's earned the criticism.
[01:37:08]  Right.
[01:37:09]  And when you talk about mid, like, yes, he is mid.
[01:37:11]  I could name 14 quarterbacks that I take before him.
[01:37:15]  There's 30 teams in the NFL.
[01:37:17]  That is, by definition, you are mid.
[01:37:19]  Oh, if I'm building a team, he's in the top 10, I take, I think.
[01:37:21]  Really, yeah.
[01:37:22]  I mean, if you're doing a fantasy draft and you're picking a quarterback to build a team around, like, maybe you take him first, but I don't know.
[01:37:28]  I want to pick him first.
[01:37:29]  What about this kid, Gardner Minshew?
[01:37:31]  You should fucking love this.
[01:37:33]  Again, we missed all this shit.
[01:37:34]  We're away for two weeks.
[01:37:36]  The first game, Nick Falls breaks his collarbone.
[01:37:39]  That's like a 10-week injury at least.
[01:37:41]  Yeah.
[01:37:41]  This kid, Gardner Minch, who's sixth round draft pick, I think, out of what school do you remember?
[01:37:45]  Missiles.
[01:37:47]  Oh, I thought it was like somebody.
[01:37:48]  No, I wasn't the Wazoo, the Wazooskis or whatever the fuck.
[01:37:52]  That's Missouri.
[01:37:53]  No.
[01:37:53]  Well, he's from Washington.
[01:37:54]  He went to Washington State.
[01:37:55]  Okay.
[01:37:56]  Same school Clay Thompson went to.
[01:37:58]  Okay.
[01:37:58]  And apparently he played well.
[01:38:00]  And then I just, I saw his stats.
[01:38:01]  He looked all right.
[01:38:02]  And people were just like, no, this kid is good.
[01:38:03]  And I was like, what are you talking about?
[01:38:04]  He won the Golden Armor Award in college as one of the best quarterbacks.
[01:38:07]  Apparently, he played well, is what everybody's saying.
[01:38:08]  I was like, his stat line didn't look crazy.
[01:38:10]  I don't know.
[01:38:11]  Whatever.
[01:38:11]  I don't know.
[01:38:12]  Second week, same thing.
[01:38:13]  They lost again, but everybody's saying he looks good.
[01:38:14]  I think the second week, then they beat the shit out of the Titans on Thursday night football a week and a half ago.
[01:38:19]  And then last week, they're playing the Broncos.
[01:38:21]  They're down 24-23, and then he drives the Jags down for the game-winning field goal.
[01:38:26]  And this guy is good.
[01:38:27]  Fell to the sixth round.
[01:38:29]  I think because he looks like a country-ass boy.
[01:38:32]  He scored a 42 on his Wonderlick, which is like a crazy high score.
[01:38:36]  Interesting.
[01:38:37]  Great stats in college.
[01:38:38]  Got tons of moxie.
[01:38:39]  Like, this just seems like a moxie.
[01:38:41]  He's moving.
[01:38:41]  A lot of moxie.
[01:38:42]  He got an Moxie Award right now.
[01:38:44]  But you know what his Moxie is?
[01:38:47]  It's intelligent Moxie.
[01:38:50]  It seems like he knows what he's doing.
[01:38:52]  Everything is specific.
[01:38:54]  Like the short shorts, the cut-off jean shorts.
[01:38:58]  You're too young to not know what you're doing.
[01:39:01]  Okay.
[01:39:02]  Like short jean shorts are a thing of like our parents' time.
[01:39:07]  So you're reflecting upon that, which means you have to be aware that it was something cool during like, you know, fast times of Ridgemont High.
[01:39:14]  Like the guy is smart.
[01:39:15]  When I looked at him and I saw the way that he leaned into the character and he's leaning into the absurdity of it, I think he's a guy who's very aware.
[01:39:23]  Yes, aware not only of who he is, but how people perceive him.
[01:39:27]  Well, I don't think it's a perception.
[01:39:28]  I think that's who he is.
[01:39:30]  His name is Gardner Minshew II, and I think his dad's name was like Lucas or something.
[01:39:34]  Right.
[01:39:35]  What I'm saying is you can't be that without choosing to be that.
[01:39:39]  Cut off jean shorts is a cultural thing of the past.
[01:39:42]  Yes.
[01:39:43]  So you are choosing to lean into this past kind of like hippie look or whatever.
[01:39:50]  And I think the reason why people are really on him is because of the Tom Brady comparisons.
[01:39:54]  There was a lot of...
[01:39:55]  Oh, sixth round.
[01:39:57]  I'll read something that's from a yard barker.
[01:40:00]  Very early to make these kind of bold pronouncements, yet some comparisons have been made to Tom Brady.
[01:40:04]  After all, both were selected in the sixth round.
[01:40:06]  Minshew played at Washington State for Mike Leach was picked 178th.
[01:40:08]  Brady 199th.
[01:40:09]  They both got the shot early in the career when the established star went down with injury.
[01:40:12]  Yada, yada, yada, a bunch of other shit.
[01:40:14]  500 record to top of the division.
[01:40:17]  I mean, the thing that separates Brady is the GOAT gene that Charlerane talked about that I think is mental.
[01:40:22]  Brady got that.
[01:40:22]  I don't know if Gardner Minshew got that.
[01:40:24]  Well, Gardner led the he led the NCAA in passing yards and touchdowns last year.
[01:40:29]  Yeah, I'm just saying the insatiable first year rookie.
[01:40:32]  Yeah, he's a rookie.
[01:40:32]  Yeah, drafted his hair.
[01:40:34]  You know, he's, there was an interesting play I was watching with him where he was kind of scrambling in the pocket, and then he throws his touchdown.
[01:40:40]  Did you guys see that play?
[01:40:41]  No, I did not.
[01:40:42]  I mean.
[01:40:43]  Yeah, the fucking Eurostepped like two.
[01:40:46]  I didn't know you could Euro stepping that out.
[01:40:47]  It was impressive.
[01:40:49]  It was very impressive, like footwork, and also like there was agility in it.
[01:40:54]  But I'm curious to see what happens with this kid.
[01:40:56]  I think he's very aware of how he's perceived, and I think he's leaning into it.
[01:41:00]  And the thing about it is like dressing like that and acting like that in a football locker room, you have to be incredibly confident with yourself because you were dealing with alpha male ball busters.
[01:41:11]  And you're walking in with cutoff jean shorts, a little mustache.
[01:41:14]  You have to be supremely confident in who you are to deal with 260-pound, muscle-bound motherfucking alpha males ready to rip you to shreds.
[01:41:26]  You have to know who you fucking are, dude.
[01:41:29]  So like this guy knows what he's got.
[01:41:32]  So much so that they're thinking Jalen Ramsey's going to stay.
[01:41:35]  What?
[01:41:35]  Like he was like, they were ready to trade him.
[01:41:37]  Is Jalen playing?
[01:41:38]  He didn't play last week because of a bad back and personal issues.
[01:41:42]  I think he's a Zara or whatever.
[01:41:44]  But now Jalen's like, I want to play if we can win.
[01:41:46]  Well, they're trying to convince him.
[01:41:47]  Like, hey, like, this kid's actually pretty good.
[01:41:49]  They're trying to trade him.
[01:41:50]  Well, everybody thinks they didn't get any great offers for him.
[01:41:53]  So they're like, all right, well, we're just not going to trade him.
[01:41:56]  And he'll change his mind where he wants.
[01:41:57]  And if they still keep winning, like.
[01:41:59]  Why would you not win?
[01:42:00]  Yeah, exactly.
[01:42:02]  Interesting.
[01:42:03]  I think it was something with him and his coach, right?
[01:42:05]  They got into it.
[01:42:06]  Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[01:42:08]  I'm not sure he's super well-liked.
[01:42:09]  It doesn't seem like he is.
[01:42:10]  No, but if you keep winning.
[01:42:12]  Tom Coughlin was hated with the Giants.
[01:42:14]  And he had to change some things.
[01:42:16]  I remember the year before they won, he had a meeting with Straighthand and a couple other people.
[01:42:21]  And they were like, what can we do?
[01:42:22]  How can we make this work?
[01:42:23]  And then he was like, okay, I'll lighten up a bit.
[01:42:25]  And then they won the fucking Super Bowl.
[01:42:27]  I'm not saying Doug Marone does that, but I also am saying Tom Coughlin's a GM.
[01:42:30]  So if your players don't like you, he could just be like, I've been there.
[01:42:32]  He's been there.
[01:42:33]  Yeah.
[01:42:34]  Here's how you can fix it.
[01:42:35]  Or I don't give a fuck.
[01:42:36]  Just work through it.
[01:42:38]  Interesting.
[01:42:39]  Yeah.
[01:42:40]  Inter desante.
[01:42:41]  All right, what else we got?
[01:42:43]  We could talk about.
[01:42:44]  Basketball's in the air.
[01:42:45]  Oh, my God.
[01:42:46]  Thank God.
[01:42:47]  Now, did you guys see James Harden's attempt at his new shot?
[01:42:54]  I don't even get why it's effective.
[01:42:55]  So essentially, what he has.
[01:42:57]  There's no competitive advantage to that shot.
[01:42:59]  Yeah, so I spoke to some basketball buddies about this.
[01:43:02]  And what they came up with was that it is the step back equivalent of the right-hand, right-foot layup.
[01:43:12]  The right-hand, right-foot layup is sometimes in order to catch a defender off guard, when you're going for a layup, you'll actually jump off your first planting foot.
[01:43:22]  Usually like a Euro step.
[01:43:23]  No, I'm talking about you ever see someone go to the basket and they do like a quick layup.
[01:43:29]  Yeah.
[01:43:30]  Little guys do it all the time to avoid the block, right?
[01:43:32]  Because usually, yes, because usually what it is, is you step on the right foot, step on your left, leap off your left, and then lay it up with your right hand.
[01:43:41]  But sometimes it'll just be step with the right and then throw it up one arm because you're just trying to get it up quick.
[01:43:47]  Because anything that throws the defender off in their timing will allow you to get the shot off.
[01:43:52]  And basically what they said to me was what we think he's trying to do is just throw the defender off.
[01:43:58]  The defender's thinking it's going to be one, two, and then jump, and it's just one.
[01:44:03]  But shooting a three, a fadeaway three, jumping off the left foot with your left hand.
[01:44:10]  I don't understand.
[01:44:12]  I mean, I get my thing is like James Harden didn't have an issue getting his shot off already.
[01:44:17]  So he didn't need another thing.
[01:44:19]  Like he had the most unstoppable perimeter shot in basketball.
[01:44:23]  Yeah.
[01:44:24]  Again, he didn't need another thing.
[01:44:26]  My point stands, couldn't you have spent an entire summer getting in better shape and focusing on defense?
[01:44:32]  Like I would respect James Harden so much more if he came back fucking ripped to shreds.
[01:44:37]  Like, yo, I'm not breaking down in the final, in the playoffs again.
[01:44:41]  Like, I changed my diet.
[01:44:42]  I'm fucking walking around like fucking Julius Randall.
[01:44:46]  I'm just booze and stripping up.
[01:44:48]  Yeah.
[01:44:49]  Like, I respect that.
[01:44:50]  Like, I don't, like, you're just, you're just, I've seen that, like, your, your, your focus is something different than your team winning.
[01:44:59]  Like, your focus is on, like, I want to become the most, I want to become the most prolific scorer to ever live, which is a great goal to have.
[01:45:08]  Like, you want to have those signature shots.
[01:45:10]  You want people to be like, oh, MJ Fadeaway, Dirk Fadeaway, fucking Iverson, Harden.
[01:45:15]  Like, that's your goal.
[01:45:16]  You want people to go Harden and shoot ball courts with left hand, left fucking fadeaway, walking three.
[01:45:24]  I don't know.
[01:45:24]  Mission accomplished.
[01:45:25]  Yeah, it's already done, man.
[01:45:27]  Yeah.
[01:45:28]  Like, here we have a lot of people.
[01:45:28]  He's tony the one-legged fucking three-pointer.
[01:45:31]  I just.
[01:45:32]  He had a super illegal step back that became legal.
[01:45:35]  He doesn't need another move.
[01:45:37]  What else are you trying to do, dude?
[01:45:39]  There's no way to say this without sounding like a giant hater, and maybe I am, but I just don't.
[01:45:43]  I'm like, I felt like there was different focuses you could have had this offseason.
[01:45:47]  Yeah.
[01:45:47]  And who knows?
[01:45:48]  Maybe he did have this focus, but judging by those shortless boxing pictures, I don't think he spent the summer getting in shape.
[01:45:55]  And that's fine if you want to be out of shape.
[01:45:58]  You're still great.
[01:45:58]  It's just like, bro, I think you would be a better player in the playoffs if you were a little lighter and focused on that.
[01:46:05]  And if that's your goal, that's probably the way to take it.
[01:46:09]  He's got a load to carry.
[01:46:10]  You know what?
[01:46:10]  He's getting all this criticism.
[01:46:14]  It'd be really funny if he just came out and he was like, when did I ever say I want to win?
[01:46:21]  I said that.
[01:46:22]  I would respect that.
[01:46:23]  I said that on the SPN.
[01:46:24]  I said, I really want to win.
[01:46:25]  No, I like getting buckets.
[01:46:26]  I respect that.
[01:46:27]  I like getting triple doubles.
[01:46:28]  That's my goal here.
[01:46:29]  I don't care about winning.
[01:46:31]  Like, you guys are putting this on me.
[01:46:32]  I'm here to have fun.
[01:46:33]  This is fun for me.
[01:46:35]  I'd be really, because he never has come out and bitched about not winning.
[01:46:39]  Like, Russell Westbrook, he bitches about not winning.
[01:46:42]  It kills him.
[01:46:43]  So there are things that we could criticize.
[01:46:44]  We could say, yo, Russ, you could do this if you're trying to win.
[01:46:47]  James A. never once been upset.
[01:46:50]  The only thing he said after the playoffs was, I know what we need to do to get past the next round.
[01:46:57]  And then like two weeks later, Chris Ball gets traded.
[01:46:59]  But like he never really went out and did they ask him?
[01:47:03]  He just said, I know what we need to do.
[01:47:04]  Yeah, they asked him like, you know, does it get frustrating after you keep losing to the same team every year and yada yada yada?
[01:47:09]  Like he didn't say, I need to focus.
[01:47:11]  He didn't say I need to do this this that.
[01:47:13]  He just said, I know what I need to do.
[01:47:15]  And then got quiet after that.
[01:47:17]  He said, I know what I need to do.
[01:47:19]  I think it was, I know what we need to do.
[01:47:20]  Yeah, because I know what we need to do.
[01:47:22]  Yeah.
[01:47:22]  But I don't know.
[01:47:24]  I know what we need to do.
[01:47:25]  The exact same thing.
[01:47:26]  It's still going to be my favorite duo in the NBA this year.
[01:47:28]  It's going to be interesting.
[01:47:29]  I'm excited to see it.
[01:47:30]  Instant league pass team, those guys.
[01:47:32]  Dancing.
[01:47:33]  Finally, Russell Westbrook has a dance buddy that isn't like a fringe NBA player.
[01:47:38]  It was always a guy who was... Cameron Payne.
[01:47:40]  Yeah.
[01:47:41]  Three weeks out of the D-League, three weeks out of playing in China.
[01:47:44]  And finally, he has another elite player that he can dance with.
[01:47:47]  It will be good.
[01:47:48]  My gosh.
[01:47:49]  There was, damn, a lot of NBA media talk this week.
[01:47:55]  About.
[01:47:55]  I mean, no, it was media day for a lot of NBA teams.
[01:47:58]  So it's the official start of the NBA season.
[01:48:00]  When does the preseason start?
[01:48:02]  Well, there was a preseason game last night.
[01:48:03]  The Rockets played the Shanghai show.
[01:48:05]  But that was like fake preseason.
[01:48:06]  When is preseason?
[01:48:08]  I want to say it's usually like mid-October, usually like the next week or two.
[01:48:12]  I think they're starting.
[01:48:12]  They got to be starting in the next week.
[01:48:14]  Probably sooner.
[01:48:15]  Right, the start of the season is the end of October, right?
[01:48:17]  Yeah.
[01:48:18]  First game is usually right after Halloween.
[01:48:21]  I wish they would just push that shit to Christmas opening day and then play through baseball season.
[01:48:26]  Ah, yes, Yeah, the first, it feels like, it feels like the games from October to December are like long preseason games.

=== Izzy Whitaker Fight Suspicion (07:25) ===

[01:48:33]  Preseason.
[01:48:33]  Yeah, but at least there's some fun shit to talk about.
[01:48:36]  Yeah, 100%.
[01:48:37]  I just love basketball.
[01:48:38]  Opening night is lit.
[01:48:39]  You know what I mean?
[01:48:40]  And then it just kind of dwindles off again until Christmas.
[01:48:43]  And then that's when the real season starts.
[01:48:44]  That's another thing.
[01:48:45]  They're also just having basketball and football at the same time.
[01:48:48]  It's just the best.
[01:48:50]  Anyway.
[01:48:52]  Anything else before we get up out of here?
[01:48:53]  Alonzo and LeVar may be beefing.
[01:48:56]  I kind of ran through this with y'all earlier, but what else?
[01:49:00]  You want to talk about that?
[01:49:01]  Errol Spence fight.
[01:49:02]  Izzy got a fight coming up.
[01:49:03]  Oh, yeah.
[01:49:03]  We got shout outs.
[01:49:04]  Shout out to Izzy, bro.
[01:49:05]  Shout out my guy, Izzy.
[01:49:07]  Izzy Two Belts.
[01:49:08]  Izzy Two Belts.
[01:49:11]  I was hanging around with Izzy's, the guy he partners up with for the company Engage, which is the clothing company.
[01:49:22]  And his buddy, it might be his manager, too, Ash.
[01:49:25]  And when we were in Perth, he came out to the show, and he was the guy that told me the line, on your back, and wet up.
[01:49:32]  And then the sizzle in the slit.
[01:49:34]  And yeah, man, he says Izzy's just killing it, man.
[01:49:39]  I've been talking a little bit with Izzy, and he just feels really fucking good.
[01:49:43]  He's locked in, and it's just going down, dude, man.
[01:49:46]  I'm so excited.
[01:49:47]  Big fight, ESPN plus.
[01:49:48]  He took a little break before this fight, right?
[01:49:50]  Yeah.
[01:49:50]  I think so, too, man.
[01:49:52]  Because he's been fighting for a while, and he's just like...
[01:49:54]  The last fight was a fight.
[01:49:56]  Oh, yeah.
[01:49:57]  But, you know, he's looked good.
[01:49:59]  I've seen a lot of his pre-training, his training workouts and shit, like fucking that ESPN fight.
[01:50:06]  You hear it?
[01:50:07]  Yeah.
[01:50:07]  I mean, goddamn.
[01:50:10]  I mean, the guy he's fighting is no scrub.
[01:50:12]  No, no.
[01:50:12]  Whitaker's no scrub.
[01:50:14]  He's a good counter puncher.
[01:50:16]  But I was looking at some stuff for him.
[01:50:18]  He's a good counterpuncher and he's strong, but he gets hit.
[01:50:22]  And the problem is, is that Izzy is an elite striker.
[01:50:26]  Like, he's not one of these UFC guys that learned how to strike after you got into MMA because you have a wrestling background.
[01:50:34]  Jiu-Jitsu back on you, like learn.
[01:50:37]  He knows striking.
[01:50:38]  This is in his blood, right?
[01:50:39]  He's had fucking nine boxing matches.
[01:50:43]  This guy knows how to strike, and then he learned how to stop takedowns and the other stuff.
[01:50:48]  Yeah.
[01:50:48]  Right?
[01:50:48]  So you're in there with a bad motherfucker.
[01:50:51]  And if these other guys have touched you, Izzy going to touch you.
[01:50:55]  Yeah.
[01:50:55]  So it's a matter of time.
[01:50:57]  It's like, how much, how much, how many touches can you take?
[01:50:59]  You know, it was cool.
[01:51:00]  I was on ESPN yesterday, front page, and whoever he's fighting.
[01:51:04]  Robert Whitaker.
[01:51:05]  Yeah.
[01:51:05]  Can Whitaker handle his Addisonia's accuracy or something like that?
[01:51:08]  Simple as it.
[01:51:09]  It was cool because that's what Izzy talked about the first time he was here.
[01:51:12]  Everybody else can punch as hard as they want to.
[01:51:14]  I punch accurately.
[01:51:15]  Yeah.
[01:51:15]  My punch is going to, you're going to feel it more.
[01:51:17]  And then to see that on the front page of ESPN.com.
[01:51:19]  Yeah.
[01:51:20]  Manifest that shit, dog.
[01:51:22]  For a reason, man.
[01:51:23]  So I can't wait to see it.
[01:51:24]  I hope all the assholes go check it out.
[01:51:26]  Support that motherfucker.
[01:51:27]  We almost stayed another week.
[01:51:28]  You should have.
[01:51:29]  I thought I was going to go crazy.
[01:51:32]  I was going to go crazy.
[01:51:33]  I was already shaking his head.
[01:51:34]  It's like, nah, nah.
[01:51:36]  It's more boring than FaceTime and women.
[01:51:38]  That's what I've been telling him, bro.
[01:51:41]  But no, it was, you know, I was talking to Ash about it.
[01:51:44]  I was like, man, we're so close because the fight's in Melbourne.
[01:51:47]  We're in fucking Melbourne.
[01:51:48]  And it's like, should we stay one more week?
[01:51:50]  And they're like, yo, listen, we're going to have you sorted.
[01:51:52]  We'll get you seats.
[01:51:53]  We'll get you everything.
[01:51:53]  I'm like, bruh.
[01:51:57]  It was close, man.
[01:51:59]  It was close.
[01:52:00]  It was the right thing to go back, but it was fucking close.
[01:52:01]  They're going to put 80,000 people in the arena.
[01:52:05]  It's the biggest UFC gate in history.
[01:52:06]  Really?
[01:52:07]  Yeah.
[01:52:07]  Wow.
[01:52:08]  Dude, Australia's great sports fans.
[01:52:10]  Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[01:52:11]  And it would just be a fucking cultural event because Izzy is obviously from New Zealand.
[01:52:17]  Right.
[01:52:17]  And Robert Whitaker is from Australia.
[01:52:20]  So it's like a little, what is that area called?
[01:52:23]  Australasia beef or something like that.
[01:52:27]  Anyway, it's going to be, and it's going to be good.
[01:52:29]  But anyway, best wishes to the here's one question I have.
[01:52:32]  Is it you as a fight fan in general?
[01:52:34]  I can't even remember the guy's name.
[01:52:35]  Who's the gypsy boxer?
[01:52:36]  What's his name?
[01:52:37]  Oh, Gypsy King, Tyson Fury.
[01:52:39]  Tyson Fury.
[01:52:40]  Last Tyson Fury fought I watched, he had taken a long break.
[01:52:42]  Yeah.
[01:52:42]  And they said he needs to eat some rounds.
[01:52:44]  Like it was good that he had to go 10 rounds because you need that.
[01:52:47]  Does Izzy need to like this thing to go along?
[01:52:50]  And does he need a couple rounds to warm up?
[01:52:52]  I don't think so because I think what they say is when they say eat rounds, they're like, you need to put in rounds because you might be in a fight that goes the distance and you want to know that you can go the distance because a fight is different than training.
[01:53:06]  Even if you try to train so hard, like you know what they'll do is they'll put a new guy in every single round and he's fresh and you're not to like keep your cardio.
[01:53:14]  But even then you got the headgear on.
[01:53:16]  They're not going 110%.
[01:53:18]  It's like you cannot recreate what a fight is.
[01:53:22]  But Izzy's fight last fight went the distance.
[01:53:24]  That's the thing.
[01:53:24]  Izzy's last fight went five.
[01:53:26]  So he's ready for five.
[01:53:27]  He had the gas tank for five.
[01:53:29]  He was going for it.
[01:53:30]  This guy who he's about to fight gases out.
[01:53:34]  Yeah.
[01:53:35]  And has he gone five recently?
[01:53:38]  I think he went five against Yoel Romero.
[01:53:42]  I think they had two fights where it went both times and they were both disputed.
[01:53:47]  But point is, I think that, no, his cardio is on point.
[01:53:52]  Izzy's cardio is on point.
[01:53:53]  This fight is really going to be about who's going to touch each other and how are they going to get touched.
[01:53:57]  So you don't think he goes to full five?
[01:53:59]  I think somebody goes down first.
[01:54:01]  I think that this is my suspicion of the fight.
[01:54:05]  I think that we're going to see Whitaker's, how Whitaker's chin holds up.
[01:54:13]  Because I think Izzy's going to touch him.
[01:54:16]  So I think it's Izzy touches him.
[01:54:22]  And then I think, as long as it stays on his feet, I don't know shit about wrestling or jiu-jitsu or any of that kind of shit.
[01:54:27]  So if it goes to the ground, I don't know what the fuck's going to happen.
[01:54:29]  But if they both just stand up, I think Izzy touches him.
[01:54:32]  I think Izzy touches him, and I think Izzy gets him out of there the third, third or fourth, just because I think Ryu Ricardo starts to slow down, and Izzy doesn't seem to get tired in those rounds at all.
[01:54:43]  As we know from Gasolom, he was throwing crazy amount of punches in round five.
[01:54:46]  So it's like, I think that's what happens.
[01:54:48]  It's going to wear.
[01:54:48]  When you get fucking touched, and then it starts to get precise, you start thinking.
[01:54:53]  Once you start thinking, oh, fuck, I'm getting hit.
[01:54:56]  And he's not jurying.
[01:54:58]  And he's not jury.
[01:54:59]  They're like 95-0.
[01:55:03]  That's like, I think he'll be all right.
[01:55:04]  They're doing good.
[01:55:05]  They're doing good.
[01:55:06]  There was a good boxing match that Errol Spence fight.
[01:55:08]  I missed it.
[01:55:08]  I was just watching clips, but Errol Spence and Sean Porter.
[01:55:11]  And God bless Sean Porter.
[01:55:12]  This guy can make an interesting fight that he was.
[01:55:13]  He fights, man.
[01:55:14]  He fights.
[01:55:15]  Every time I see him on the car, I know it's going to be a good fight.
[01:55:17]  Dude, this guy fucking goes out there and he busts his ass.
[01:55:20]  That's raining so hard.
[01:55:22]  He did the intro for him.
[01:55:23]  Oh, sick.
[01:55:23]  In the new day, yeah.
[01:55:24]  Hit him with the awful.
[01:55:26]  Oh, that's sick.
[01:55:26]  Los Angeles.
[01:55:28]  Yeah, dude, Sean Porter, man.
[01:55:30]  I mean, I love Errol.
[01:55:31]  I think the thing with Errol is that he looked weak in there.
[01:55:35]  And I think making weight is very difficult for him.
[01:55:39]  And he said after the fight that he ballooned up 25 pounds and then he just cut it in camp.
[01:55:46]  No nutritionists, no weight training.
[01:55:49]  And it's like, dude, you're a professional fighter.
[01:55:52]  You don't put on 25 pounds.
[01:55:55]  You stay close to your fucking fight weight.
[01:55:58]  You're eating right all the time.

=== November Fights and Fight Weight (03:19) ===

[01:55:59]  Maybe have a little few beers and shit afterwards, but right back into it, this is not the time to play.
[01:56:04]  He just looked weak.
[01:56:05]  And Sean, who's smaller, just looks stronger.
[01:56:07]  He looked like he could bully him.
[01:56:09]  And it was interesting.
[01:56:11]  They had a little beef after the fight.
[01:56:13]  They were just kind of yapping.
[01:56:14]  And I'd love to see a rematch of that.
[01:56:17]  We're going to get it.
[01:56:18]  You're going to get it.
[01:56:18]  Errol's a Dallas boy, right?
[01:56:20]  Fox is bugging, though, man.
[01:56:21]  They got to pay a lot of money for that fight.
[01:56:23]  They did.
[01:56:25]  No, I mean, like, it was like, it was on like Fox pay-per-view.
[01:56:28]  Like, I couldn't, like, watch The Zone or ESPN Plus, none of that shit.
[01:56:31]  I'm like, $75.
[01:56:33]  I'm just so spoiled from pay-per-views now.
[01:56:35]  There's so many streaming opportunities.
[01:56:37]  I'm like, I'm not paying $75 for this fucking fight.
[01:56:40]  But, you know, before we get out of here, why don't we throw some little dates?
[01:56:45]  Yep, yep.
[01:56:46]  You want to go first, buddy?
[01:56:48]  If you want.
[01:56:49]  Yeah, go ahead.
[01:56:50]  All right.
[01:56:51]  Let's wrap this up.
[01:56:52]  It's good to be back with you guys.
[01:56:54]  Before we leave, why don't we say some dates?
[01:56:58]  I know we all got some shows coming up, man.
[01:57:01]  Once again, Australia, thank you so much.
[01:57:04]  I appreciate you.
[01:57:04]  We got some cool announcements about other shows outside the country coming.
[01:57:09]  But in the meantime, we got some very big shows coming up.
[01:57:14]  DandrewSchultz.com is where you can get the tickets.
[01:57:17]  We're going to be in New York most of October, but we are going to Palm Beach, the Palm Beach Improv.
[01:57:25]  That's the 26th of October.
[01:57:27]  Then we're out to the West Coast.
[01:57:29]  Chico, California, November 1st.
[01:57:32]  Sacramento, November 2nd.
[01:57:34]  It's sold out.
[01:57:35]  November 3rd, early show sold out.
[01:57:37]  We added a late show.
[01:57:39]  So late show, November 3rd, you can get that.
[01:57:41]  Then we're coming back to Connecticut, Norwalk, then Boston, New York City, Seattle.
[01:57:46]  It keeps going.
[01:57:47]  DeandrewSchultz.com.
[01:57:48]  More dates added.
[01:57:50]  Make sure you go check it.
[01:57:51]  Akosh, what you got?
[01:57:53]  October 11th, that is next Friday.
[01:57:56]  We are in Minneapolis at Sisyphus Brewing.
[01:57:58]  Two shows, 8 and 10.30.
[01:58:00]  The next day in Detroit, we are at the Independent Comedy Club at 9 p.m.
[01:58:04]  That's October 12th.
[01:58:06]  November 7th through 9th, we're in San Diego at the American Comedy Club.
[01:58:10]  November 10th, we are at the 10P Improv.
[01:58:12]  That's a Sunday come through.
[01:58:14]  November 14th, the Hartford Funny Bone.
[01:58:17]  Also, one last announcement.
[01:58:18]  I'm planning this wedding.
[01:58:19]  These motherfuckers are criminals.
[01:58:21]  But I'd rather pay y'all.
[01:58:22]  So if you got some shit you do for weddings, just holler at me.
[01:58:24]  I'd much rather pay an asshole than pay those assholes.
[01:58:27]  I hear that.
[01:58:29]  October 12th, 2019, Duce Palooza is rolling through DC for Howard Homecoming, Jay Murphy, DJ Scream, DJ Academics, not that one, DJ C-Styles, Where's Nasty, and DJ Schemes.
[01:58:41]  At Echo Stage, starting from 8 p.m. to 2 a.m., we will be announcing performers sometime this week.
[01:58:48]  Get your tickets on DucePalooza.com slash tickets.
[01:58:53]  Also, if you like porn.
[01:58:55]  I like porn.
[01:58:56]  Well, are you doing this?
[01:58:58]  You'll like our guest that's coming in a couple weeks.
[01:59:00]  Oh, wow.
[01:59:01]  We'll give you some more information about that soon, but I'm sure you'll hear about it.
[01:59:04]  That's been another episode of Flagrant 2.
[01:59:06]  No easy buckets, analysis by assholes, water cooler commentary for your sports needs.
[01:59:10]  I don't know why I did the intro with the outro, but that's what we do.
[01:59:13]  I've been away for a couple weeks.
[01:59:16]  Love y'all.
[01:59:17]  Peace.
[01:59:18]  Keep it tight.